Mary MacNeith
Forum Replies Created
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What I learned from this lesson, is to narrow down the specifics of each character for each of the eight skillsets for this assignment. I enjoyed discovering their journey together and their separate internal journey together.
Wallis’s Journey From a wealthy family
ASSIGNMENT
Create the individual Transformational Journey for each lead character.1. Initial state:
Wallis, (25) is angry not receiving the commission for a painting she was given, taken away by the client, because Wallis is unconventional.2. Meet-Cute moment:
Wallis runs smack into Wyatt and her paint splashes on them both, arguing on the sidewalk.3. Initial challenges:
Wallis looses a commission for a painting, that she needed to pay the rent.4. Major conflict / Obstacle:
Wallis gets a new commission for an action, and its Wyatt who must work with her to get the painting completed.5. Self-Reflection:
Wallis reflects her tumultuous life.6. Acceptance and Growth:
Wallis sees a positive path through Wyatt, as inspiration appears for the painting.7. Demonstrate the change:
Wallis begins the large painting, and is engrossed with positivity8. Reunion:
Wallis says yes to marrying Wyatt.Wyatt’s Journey from a low income family
Each character’s Transformational Journey contains:
1. Initial state:
Wyatt (35) is a former U.S. Coast Guardsman working for a non-profit who commissions art for actions.2. Meet-Cute moment:
Crashing into Wallis is painful and frustrating, then Wallis started giggling as the blood gently drips down his face, and she kissed his cheek to make it feel better.3. Initial challenges:
Wyatt grew up impoverished, and continues to be thrifty.4. Major conflict / Obstacle:
Wyatt dislikes the ideas and themes for the painting Wallis suggests, and discovers he has a serious medical condition.5. Self-Reflection:
On a trip with Wallis to the country, Wyatt reflection on a dialog with his mother when he was young, about doubt, struggle and change.6. Acceptance and Growth:
Wyatt collaborates with Wallis to create an inspirational painting that reflects the ancient past with the present.7. Demonstrate the change:
Wyatt is struggling with his medical condition, and proposes to Wallis.8. Reunion:
Wyatt is laid to rest at the cemetery and another painting is placed next to his headstone, with lots of people in attendance and sharing wonderful stories.-
This reply was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Mary MacNeith’s, The Seven Stages of Love Assignment.
What I learned doing this assignment is the focus on the connection of each character with their needs and desires, and learning from these characters’s differences, and how they can be in conflict and still learn the positive of becoming lovers.
1. Create the 7 Stages of Love for your two lead characters.
The 7 Stages of Love:
1. Meet-Cute : Wallis and Wyatt run into each other, both very annoyed, and Wyatt sees a little blood on Wallis’s face and takes out his handkerchief to stop the bleeding, even though she is still angry, and quickly thanks Wyatt, and leaves.2. Attraction/Flirting : Wyatt is in charge to commission a painting for an auction, and he discovers that Wallis is the painter. Wyatt thought it was a male painter, and Wallis and Wyatt conflict, then agrees to work together. As they both collaborate on the concept of the painting, they find that they are more similar than different, and get to know each other better.
3. Denial : Wallis and Wyatt are having challenges with the painting and the relationship. She has ideas and so does Wyatt, and they conflict. They try to collaborate, but it it’s not working.
4. Separation/Forced Together : Wallis and Wyatt avoid each other, as they can’t get a grip on what the painting is going to be, nether the less what they each want or don’t want from one another.
5. Working through Issues/Differences : Wyatt lands in the hospital, and is diagnosed with a terminal disease. The two then go on a journey away from the big city, and find commonality of life issues, differences, and what the painting might look like.
6. Hate/Betrayal/All Hope is Lost : Wallis is near finished with the painting, then she sees Wyatt talking to another painter thinking she lost the commission, while Wyatt’s disease is worsening.
7. Love Happens : Wyatt shares how much he has fallen in love with Wallis and proposes to her, and knowing how much each of them had shared their “off track” journeys, they know that they were meant to be, if only for a short time that changed their life.
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This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by
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As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
Sign,
Mary MacNeith -
Act 1:
Opening
Wallis and Wyatt aren’t looking where they are going and run right into each other, they get hurt and are very angry towards each other.Inciting Incident
Wyatt meets the artist for his fundraiser, and its Wallis, the quirky younger lady he ran into, and both are not happy to see each other.Turning Point
Wallis and Wyatt visit various locations looking for inspiration for the painting and nothing they see works as they both have far different ideas.Act 2:
New plan
Wyatt and Wallis get out of the city and explore rural landscapes and feel the inspiration from the starry skies above.Plan in action
Wyatt and Wallis decide on a vision for the painting yet there is still conflict from both of them.Midpoint Turning Point
Wallis seeks Wyatt, and discovers he has a major illness.Act 3:
Rethink everything New plan Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
The auction committee doesn’t like Wallis’s concept for the painting and she is angry, then Wyatt asks Wallis if she would marry him, as he wants to marry before he dies.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict ResolutionWallis completes the painting masterpiece, and she buys it at the highest price. Wyatt is getting weaker, yet he and Wallis marry and a few days later he passes away.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Mary MacNeith’s Bigger Story
Having created my two main characters, one with a major illness and the other an out-of-the-box painter, this lesson has my vision of a bigger story for both characters. I love the concept of creating a story within a story. It makes sense for storytelling, and blending it with other genres is a great idea.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that it is not that difficult to compose an email to send to a producer.
Subject: About your next action genre, RUN JACK RUN
About (movie title the producer did)
Hello Suzanne,
I learned that your speciality is action, and it is my main genre too. I’d like to let you know that I’mm available to do writing assignments, with rewriting a screenplay, adapt ing a book, or composing your own screenplay idea. I’d be happy to send you a writing sample of my work.
My credit includes being a producer for the award winning film TURNOVER.
Take care, and let me know how I may assist you with your projects.
Gratefully,
Mary Ammon MacNeith
206-949-3095
LinkedIn Profile
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What I learned doing this assignment is to be wise enough to embrace all these amazing lessons for the benefit of my passion for writing, and getting paid for it. Making smart choices, connecting with specific producers via Linkedin, and be honest and forthright about making new positive contacts with positive salaries. Also, making wise choices to fit the budget of the project. Supporting and understanding the writing industry and how it affects the writer based on the producer, and at what stage the writer is in with their career as a newbie or a seasoned pro.
Mary MacNeith’s Plan for Increasing Perceived Value, is to keep learning and writing, and revisit my Linkedin profile, and do some positive editing, and discover new producer connections to collaborate and acquire writing assignments.
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What I learned is change can be a great gift to get the story out to the world.
Mary MacNeith is a Note Taking Professional!
Logline: When drama teacher Grace sees the new Scottish music teacher, she instantly falls in love with him, and discovers that he’s a spy for the British government, and together they must find a stolen musical artifact that will change the course of history.
I would honor each of the following requests to:
Cut the budget in half by having Grace and Finlay be 50 plus years old summer school teachers with less students and no administrators. I would keep the location in a medium sized city, and not go to the Highlands of Scotland. Have a small cast, and no special effects.
Write it for an audience of male and female 50 and older.
I could double the conflict with the older cast having physical and mental challenges, and the challenges of the story to catch a thief.
The genre could change from an action movie to a slower action/romance genre.
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What I learned doing this assignment is, the great amount of choices from SU’s itinerary of items that can be let go of and lower the budget. Having this specific information is a huge game changer for the writer to suggest positive alternatives that can decrease the budget and still have an amazing story to show.
Mary MacNeith’s Decreased Budget
My high budget item in my script is a trip to the Highlands of Scotland, and having a Highland Games event with many extras, along with weapons such as swords, which could increase the budget regarding insurance. I would replace the scene at a Highland Games in the U.S., and though we could see the ancient weapons, they wouldn’t need to be used, just shown.
The dramatic goal I’m trying to accomplish with this scene, is that it’s near the end of the story to catch the antagonist at a Highland Games, who is hiding amongst the crowd and trying to escape.
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“What I learned doing this assignment is making sure all the skilled elements are present to assure a great treatment is created.
Mary’s fantastic treatment
Title: HOW TO GET A GUY TO WEAR A KILT
Genre: Action/Romance
Logline: When drama teacher Grace Gunn meets Finlay McCool the new Scottish music teacher, she instantly falls in love with him, and discovers he’s a spy for the British government, and together they must find a stolen musical artifact that could change the course of history.
How to Get a Guy To Wear a Kilt
Treatment, October 16, 2023
Mary Ammon MacNeith
Logline
When drama teacher Grace sees the new Scottish music teacher, she instantly falls in love with him, and discovers that he’s a spy for the British government, and together they must find a stolen musical artifact that will change the course of history.
Characters
GRACE GUNN – An exuberant yet slightly disheveled, lonely high school drama teacher, who reads romance novels about Scotland, and desires to meet a handsome Highlander.
FINLAY MACCOOL – A Scottish spy who’s looking for the villain Alastor at the high school impersonating a staff member.
ALASTOR “THE GREAT” – A tormentor who steals an ancient musical artifact capable of destroying the Earth with sound.
ARGONA – An ancient Celtic goddess of slaughter and death, she despises her brother Alastor, and chooses to counsel Grace and Finlay to stop him.
Synopsis
Grace Gunn grew up in a Scottish household and going to Scottish events, and her desire is to marry a Scotsman. Her love is theater, and when she meets Finlay the new music teacher, she literally falls head over heals for him. When the two meet at the school to coordinate the spring musical, Grace learns from Finlay about an ancient musical artifact that was recently stolen. Grace has a replica of the artifact, and Finlay is forced to take Grace on the chase to find the thief.
Grace is in heaven joining the search to find the culprit and reveal why the artifact was taken. Finlay and Grace discover Alastor found the artifact at a small private auction, and his
desire is to change the frequency of the Earth to eliminate humans.
Finlay and Grace follow Alastor to the Highlands of Scotland, and Grace is in awe of its beauty and the sounds of the great highland bagpipe. Finlay takes Grace to his ancestral home, a small cottage in the country. Word spreads that an unusual sound is coming from the forest. Finlay and Grace investigate and find Argona trapped by Alastor, and set her free. Argona vows to Finlay and Grace to aid them and find her brother.
In a nearby town, a Highland Games take place, yet something doesn’t feel right to Argona. The spectators and participants are all silent. They’re speaking, yet no sound comes out. Argona senses her brother. Grace and Finlay find Argona and Alastor, and the battle begins to save the Highland games participants, and save the artifact from destroying the sound of all humans. Argona, Finlay, Grace and the Highland gamers confront Alastor with the musical artifact and lots of bagpipes, when out of nowhere, Grace, a skilled swordswomen, sees a sword that has the effects of sound, she yields it going after Alastor. Finlay, Argona and Grace battle Alastor, defeating him with his own words and his last breathe of sound.
After Grace and Finlay return to the high school, Finlay resigns being a spy, and focuses on being the music teacher. Grace and Finlay are with a large group at their outdoor wedding, filled with tartan, bagpipes and lots of music and dancing. Fun is had as we see the happy couple and Finlay wearing a kilt. Then Finlay in the middle of a long row of men with kilts and they all flash their bare buns to the crowd and cheer!
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What I learned doing this assignment is creating a positive and productive meeting with a producer or client, discovering more information about the project they want created, and asking pertinent questions to discover what their desires are for their story, and following up with clarity of what they want.
Mary MacNeith’s Producer Interview Experience
Title: THE PERFECT RESCUE
Genre: ACTION
Logline
When encountering the love of her life on a cruise, an embattled Vietnam vet struggles to regain the courage to love again, only to discover her high school sweetheart is engaged, the fiancé is pregnant, and they all must abandon their burning cruise ship.
Act 1
It’s 1967, and foster care teen Grace Wilson smiles at her high school sweetheart Joe Montoya, and their attention is swayed by the news of Vietnam. Fearful, Joe proposes to Grace until his authoritative father stops him. Grace serves as a nurse in Vietnam, and becomes physically and mentally scarred. On October 3, 1980, she accompanies an older couple on a cruise from Alaska to the Orient, and is confronted by Joe, his parents and his pregnant fiancé. Grace is falling in love with Joe again, and he loves her. Conflict arises between Grace and the Montoya family as they head east in the gulf. In the late hours, all is calm until the engine room alarm signals a fire. The captain is notified at 1:02 am, and the crew cannot put the fire out.
Act 2
An S.O.S. is sent and all passengers and crew head towards lifeboats, yet many crowd into a few boats while others are spacious. In the chaos, Grace looses her charges, and helps Joe and his father Jose who is diabetic and doesn’t have his medicine. The largest U.S. oil tanker Williamsburgh is filled with oil, receives the S.O.S. and the ship makes a u-turn for the cruise ship. The U.S. Coast Guard, the Canadian Air Force, the U.S. Air Force and merchant ships scramble to the rescue. Most passengers wear pajamas, and not prepared for the frigid conditions in an open lifeboat. Rescuers arrive and are shocked by the scene. Lifeboats collide and scatter across twenty foot waves. Helicopters hoist passengers to Williamsburg and to shore. Grace helps Jose, not because she wants to.
Act 3
Grace’s charges are in Lifeboat 6 with two Air Force PJ’s, drifting away from the scene. Grace and the Montoya’s in Lifeboat 2, Joe’s mother and fiancé are hoisted by helicopter. Grace stays to care for Jose, and learns more about Joe in this crisis, as his feebleness highlights his loyalty and his lack of courage to stand up to Jose. More passengers are rescued, and Lifeboat 2 are found by the USCG Boutwell. Lifeboat 6 is still unaccounted for, and found many hours later by the Cutter Boutwell in great condition. Grace discovers that her love for Joe is unending, yet it would have been a mistake to marry him.
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What I learned doing this assignment is elevating ten skilled pages of Wow for a producer so they say yes to making the film.
10 pages (1) page
Act 3
EXT./INT. LONG BEACH HARBOR QUEEN MARY PORT – DAY
Grace and Finlay follow Plato toward the Queen Mary ship. They have a chance to catch Plato, yet Plato winds himself in and out of the ship’s decks avoiding Finlay and Grace. When they see him go into the ballroom, Plato grabs a small round cylinder, and is ready to throw it down near his feet.
FINLAY
(yelling)
Plato, you don’t want to do this. Come on
now, this is a historic ship. You don’t want
to add extra time to your sentence, do you?
Grace starts to walk carefully toward Plato. Finlay sees her and
quickly grabs her arm to stop her, and she turns with an angry
face towards Finlay.
GRACE
(Quietly)
I’m a teacher, maybe I can talk him out of it.
FINLAY
(whispering)
No you can’t, he’s an international bad guy!
Plato gets ready to throw down the cylinder.
PLATO
I heard that!
Suddenly, Plato puts on a mask and throws down the cylinder.
Gas quickly fills the space between Plato, Finlay and Grace. The gas makes Grace and Finlay cough repeatedly, and by the time Finlay finds Grace, she passes out. Finlay holds her in his arms and performs resuscitation, when Grace opens her eyes, sees Finlay with a woozy grin, then slaps him in the face.
FINLAY
What was that for?
GRACE
(quietly, pausing with each word)
I saw it in a movie, and I had the chance.
Grace passes out again, and Finlay gives her a big kiss on the lips. Grace suddenly opens her eyes, goes to slap Finlay again, yet Grace slaps her own face, then looks at Finlay knowing that he cares.
The set up for this shows Finlay and Grace are getting closer together as a team and as a couple.
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Mary MacNeith’s Key Business Decisions
What I learned doing this assignment is, the skillsets for a movie or TV project, also includes the aspects of genre, concept, characters, location, effects and how it all can be created with “less is more”, especially with the budget.
GENRE – Action / RomCom
TITLE – How To Get A Guy To Wear A Kilt
CONCEPT – When drama teacher Grace sees the new Scottish music teacher, she instantly falls in love with him, and discovers that he’s a spy for the British government, and together they must find a stolen musical artifact that will change the course of history.
AUDIENCE – Female 20 and over
BUDGET – 10 million
LEAD CHARACTERS – Grace mid to late 20’s, high school drama teacher and fencer. Finlay mid to late 20’s, high school music teacher and Scottish spy.
JOURNEY / CHARACTER ARC – She goes from simple drama teacher who is a skilled fencer, to a partner of Finlay the music teacher/spy, to catch the bad guy at a Highland Games event.
OPENING SCENE – A disheveled Grace rushes into the school towards her classroom when she sees the new music teacher, Finlay, walk past her and is in awe of his presence just staring at him, while he makes an awkward face back towards her.
ENDING SCENE – Finlay and Grace say their vows of marriage and the Highland Gamers, Highland bagpipe bands and guests celebrate the happy couple, while all the men in kilts turn around and flash their bare bottoms.
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What I learned doing this assignment is finding my specific main genre is necessary for the writer and the marketing type for managers, producers and executives.
1. My specialty is action
2. Black Hawk Down, Ip Man
3. These two films are filled with action. Black Hawk Down is about fighting the enemy in over seas territory. Ip Man is about a highly skilled martial artist who struggles in the early years of WWII China and Japan.
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What I learned doing this assignment is knowing who we are as writers, and the elements of marketing oneself to come out from the curtains and show the talent that I have as a writer.
1. My writing sample is a true rescue story my husband participated in, revealing the greatest sea rescue in United States history. It delivers on the genre in a very strong way with the facts and truth of the story.
2. My film accomplishments and credibility consists of having a Bachelors degree in screenwriting, and a IMDB profile for the film TURNOVER, by Linda Palmer. I also won a Telly Award and Joey Award for the documentary THE SPIRIT OF MISSION SAN JOSE.
3. The possible things I can do to increase my credibility in the future, is to elevate my writing in a specific genre, market in a unique way to reveal my talents, and support other writers, managers and producers who need assistance with their projects. In addition, LinkedIn has been a wonderful place to connect with writers, producers and those looking for writers. Learning to be a script reader is also a valuable skillset for my own writing. Another idea is to engage with a company who teaches how to be noticed as a writer with a professional resume, and portfolio.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment, was identifying my protagonist and my antagonist, of which I have struggled to define for a long time. I became more clear of their roles for this story.
Subject: Mary MacNeith’s story, THE PERFECT RESCUE
A. Genre: Action, True Story
B. Title: The Perfect Rescue
C. High Concept: The Perfect Rescue took place on October 3rd and 4th, 1980, when my then 18 year old husband took part in saving lives from a burning cruise ship in Alaska, forcing all 519 on board to abandon ship, revealing one of the most heroic sea rescues in US History.
D. Main Conflict: The cruise ship catches on fire, and it cannot be put out.
E. Transformational Journey: A native Alaskan and experienced Coast Guard Captain becomes the On Scene rescue Command, battling his need to save a burning cruise ship, coordinating multiple rescue vessels, air and land support, saving all 519 passengers and crew.
F. Opposition: The forces working against the Coast Guard Captain is the desire for the cruise ship captain to save his burning vessel, worsening weather conditions, rescue coordination, and finding a lost life raft.
OPENING: EXT. DOWNTOWN JUNEAU, ALASKA — DAY
1. OPENING: US Coast Guard Captain is the honored guest for Juneau’s centennial, while most of the ships crew are all around town, and in the bars.
2. INCITING INCIDENT: EXT. GULF OF ALASKA — DAY
The cruise ship Prinsendam has left the port of Ketchikan headed east, and at 1:00 a.m, the engine room catches on fire.
3. ACT 1 TURNING POINT: INT. PRINSENDAM — NIGHT
The fire cannot be put out, and the Radio Officer sends an XXX, then an S.O.S., as all ships in the gulf are headed to the scene, with US Coast Guard Captain’s ship becoming the On Scene Command.
4. MIDPOINT: EXT. PRINSENDAM — NIGHT
Evacuation of the ship turns chaotic, while rescuers from ships and air support figure out how to get passengers and crew off the cruise ship and to safe locations.
5. ACT 2 TURNING POINT: EXT. GULF OF ALASKA — NIGHT
Lifeboat 6 with passengers and two Air Force Pararescuers, are drifting away from the scene towards open ocean.
6. CLIMAX: EXT. GULF OF ALASKA — NIGHT
Elemndorf Air Force Base contacts USCG Captain and asks where his para-rescuers are, so the USCG Captain’s vessel and another Coast Guard ship search for the missing lifeboat until they are found.
7. RESOLUTION: EXT. SITKA, ALASKA — DAY
Many passengers reach land disembarking from helicopters and various vessels, and the USCG Captain discovers all 519 passengers and crew of the cruise ship are all accounted for.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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1. Mary MacNeith
2. Four features, two teleplays and one sitcom I’m working on.
3. What I hope to get out of this class, is elevating my true story rescue script that I wrote a few years ago. I have people who were apart of the rescue who want to watch it, and they aren’t getting any younger 🙂
4. Something unique about me is that I created my last name, and my husband liked it so he changed his name to MacNeith before we married.
We look forward to working with you all! Happy Writing!
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I Mary MacNeith agree to the terms of this release form.
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Subject Line: Mary’s Projects and Insights
My two projects I’m bringing into this class with budget ranges for each are…
An action thriller called I’M NOT DEAD YET with a budget of 15 million.
A finished script, ON THIN ICE with a budget of 10 million.
What I learned from the teleconference is the specificity of the process of becoming a paid screenwriter through writing assignments. There’s lots of potential from small producers who are connected with executives. The steps of auditioning, collaborating to assist producers with their vision, and creating a positive relationship which creates credibility, all within a niche of genre conventions.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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As a member of this group, I agree to the terms of this release form.
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1. Mary MacNeith
2. I’ve written five scripts so far
3. In this class, I desire to learn the specific tools and skills in regards to getting paid as a writer, and collaborating with managers, agents and others to get scripts produced.
4. Something unique about me is, I created my married name from an ancient Egyptian goddess statue I saw at a museum. It started as an email, then my husband changed his name to MacNeith before we got married.
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Hi Everyone, I’m Mary MacNeith and I’m excited to join another amazing SU class.
I’ve written two TV dramas, one sitcom, and three feature films.
What I hope to get out of the class is learning what the industry is doing now for screenwriting and elevate my stories to get made.
Something unique about me is that I’ve had a gravesite waiting for me since before I was born. Mmmm, I think I have a story there.
I look forward to working with you all!
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Mary Ammon MacNeith
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Mary MacNeith Finds the Essence
What I learned is the that essence is critically important to show and reveal the soul and purpose of the story.
Script I chose: Raiders of the Lost Ark
Scene 1 Location: UNIVERSITY AUDITORIUM – DAY
Logline: Federal agents need Indy’s help to find his mentor Ravenwood, to stop the Nazi’s.
Essence: Indy must find the headpiece to stop the Nazi’ from finding the Ark of the Covenant.
Scene 2 Location: ARAB BAR – NIGHT
Logline: Indy failed to save Marion from the Nazi’s.
Essence: Indy feels defeated and angry in Belloq’s presence.
Scene 3 Location: SALLAH’S HOME – NIGHT
Logline: Indy and Sallah discover the correct measurement of the staff to find the Well of the Souls.
Essence: The Nazi’s are digging in the wrong place.
Scene 4 Location: MAP ROOM – DAY
Logline: Indy secretly enters the Map Room surrounded by Germans outside, to find the location of the Ark.
Essence: Using sunlight and the headpiece of the Staff of Ra, Indy is the only person in the world who knows where the Ark of the Covenant is located.
Scene 5 Location: DESERT ROAD – DAY
Logline: Indy goes after the Ark after the Nazi’s discovered his dig sight.
Essence: Indy will do anything to protect the Ark from the Nazi’s and Belloq.
My selection for the most profound essence:
Scene # Location: MAP ROOM – DAY
Logline: Indy secretly enters the Map Room surrounded by Germans outside, to find the location of the Ark.
Essence: Having the correct height for the headpiece of the Staff of Ra, Indy is the only person in the world who knows where the Ark of the Covenant is located.
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Hello, I’m finally here.
1. I’m Mary Ammon MacNeith, or just Mary MacNeith
2. I have written three features and two TV scripts.
3. What I hope to get out of this class is to elevate my knowledge and execution of screenwriting.
4. Something unique about myself is I created my last name, MacNeith. My husband liked it and we wanted to create a new Scottish clan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment is I found amazing tidbits of information that my characters told me. It was illuminating! I love this exercise, even though it took me a long time to get it done.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST James
1. Tell me about yourself — I’m a musician, composer, and now a high school teacher, of which I’m scared to death to be in front of a bunch of teenagers wanting to learn, instead of them in an audience. I like order, cleanliness and being fashionable.
What type of music do you like and play? I’m trained in classical music. So what happened? Well, I quit Juilliard and toured with a band around the country. Then I went back and finished Juilliard.
Did your parents want you to stay in classical music? Yes, they were both in symphony’s where they met. I loved listening to them play, and wanted to do it too. But… I realized I didn’t want to be just like them.
2. Why do you think you were called to this journey? Wow, that’s a good question. Well, the basic reason is because I needed a job. A friend from my high school days told me of an opening to be a teacher. I got my credentials and here I am. Then, on the first day of school, I see this other new teacher, Marion. Now, I admit that I’m awkward around women. I stumble for words, and act stupid. I don’t know why. Yet when I saw Marion, it was like… the stars aligned. But I know I’m not good enough for her.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Why You? Why am I on this journey? Well, life takes us places we least expect. Maybe it’s because life is trying to teach me something. To do something that I’m totally afraid of doing, so I can learn that I’m capable of more than I think. And even more than that.
3. You are up against a fearless women. What is it about Marion that makes this journey even more difficult for you? When I first laid eyes on Marion after she came out of the faculty women’s restroom, it was like lightening struck. She had a piece of toilet paper on her shoe, but she just looks like Venus incarnate. A women like that, she’s out of my league.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What’s your league? Um, I guess those ladies are the ones who want to be with me because I’m a musician, and not because they care about who I am. And that’s been okay for me all these years, but, I don’t want that. I don’t want to have failed relationships. I’d like something genuine like my parents. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>How can I hook Marion into believing that I’m interested in her, when I’m terrified of her?
4. In order to survive or accomplish your goal of proposing to Marion, you are going to have to step way outside of your comfort zone/box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult? In order for me to propose marriage to Marion, wow, that’s going to be a huge no Box, out of the ballpark action plan. I’m going to need a new attitude about myself, a new way of dressing, behaving, and showing up. Being subtle and letting her know that I’m interested in her for life, and not scare the hell out of her either.
5. What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of? I think the most difficult habits or ways of thinking that I need to let go of is, 1) staying up late and sleeping in, 2) tell myself that I am worthy of being in a relationship, 3) my mom is not with me anymore, but she’s always in my heart and soul. <div>
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6. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back? I don’t have much confidence when it comes to women. I tend to compare them to my mom, which might be a bad idea. I had a crush as a kid, and she let me down hard. Then at 13, my mom died from cancer. I’m afraid of falling in love, because I don’t want to have to loose someone I want to be with the rest of my life. So it’s easier not to want to try. S<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>o, I’m really a guy who lacks confidence in a relationship, a perfectionist in music, and prefers peach to conflict.
<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>7. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist? I’m a perfectionist when it comes to music, and some say that music is the language of the soul, right? Maybe music can tame the soul of Marion. The challenge is knowing what kind music she loves, and is passionate about.
8. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What are you hiding from the other characters? I’m hiding that I’m fearful of having a relationship with a woman. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What don’t you want them to know? I don’t want anyone to know that I lack confidence when it comes to women.
9. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What do you think of Marion? Marion reminds me of my mom. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> My mom was filled with happiness, and fun. I’d say she was fearless. She would dress up as Wonder Woman every Halloween, and take me out trick-or-treating. Some of the other parents would stare at her awkwardly. But she didn’t care, she was having fun. We had fun. I can see that fun in Marion’s eyes, but it scares me because my mother died so young, and I’m afraid of connecting with Marion because I don’t want to — well, I don’t want her to have the same fate—, what I’m saying is. If I had a relationship with Marion, I would be in fear that something bad would happen to her like it did my mother.
10. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Tell me your side of this whole conflict/story. When I saw Marion, I felt that she was “the one”. It scared the crap out of me. She wasn’t watching where she was going, coming out of the ladies room with the TP stuck on her shoe, and she ran right into me, not looking where she was going and she said it was my fault. So my heart says I need to try and connect with her, but my head says stay away, Marion thinks you’re an idiot.
11. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What does it do for your life, if you succeed here? If I succeed in having a relationship with Marion, it wold be like the world turned upside down and there was a new version of ourselves in a life that matters, together.
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QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST James
1. Tell me about yourself. I’m a classical musician from Juilliard I like everything to be perfect. I hate when things aren’t inline just right.
2. Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses? My strengths are organizing, being fashionable and thrifty. I value family and music. My weaknesses are fear of relationships, not being worthy of a lady’s love, depression and being excessive.
3. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Why are you committed to making Marion change? I’m committed to making Marion change her thoughts of who I am at my core, because I know that she is “the one” for me.
4. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition? I would say that I’m not exactly taking Marion down. Instead I’m going to pick her up and propose marriage.
5. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin or death? What drives me to my mission is that even though Marion doesn’t think I’m the guy for her, I will do all that I can to show her that she is the one for me, even if it potentially kills me.
6. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What secrets must you keep to succeed? I’m taking her dad out on a date before her. Learning the bagpipes, because she likes them.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity? I’m terrified that she will say yes when I ask her out and when I propose.
7. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Compared to other people like you, what makes you special? I’m an only kid, from talented musical parents who loved each other very much. When I saw Marion, I knew that I might be able to have a similar loving relationship that my parents had.
8. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What do you think of Marion? She is reckless, fearless, spontaneous, has a big family, and I think she’s “the one”.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR PROTAGONIST <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> Marion
1. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>T<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ell me about yourself — I’m Marion MacDougall, and I was born in this town, where I teach drama. I competed at the Highland games when I was young. Then at nine years old, my dad got a job at a theatre in Scotland, so we had to move there. That was a culture shock, but an amazing place to be. I love the theatre and cinema, and I love sharing the skills of singing and acting. I still do Highland dancing and I also have my mother’s sixth sense.
2. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Why do you think you were called to this journey? I believe I was called on this journey, because of coming back to the U.S., I’m getting re-adjusted with the culture, and my family. Being in Scotland for so long, and coming back here is a huge shift physically and mentally. I’m also struggling to let go of a relationship that fell apart in Scotland. I didn’t realize how painful it is to have someone tell you they figured out they don’t love you, rather me, anymore. I have a huge scar that is still open there.
Why You? Why me? I need to “find myself” again. Moving back to America with a broken heart, I need to figure out what my life is supposed to be. Each step is progress, and I hope it’s a good journey to be on.
3. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>You are up against a fearless man. What is it about James that makes this journey even more difficult for you? The first time I saw James, I quickly glanced his way when I was coming out of the faculty ladies room. He was just staring at me. I didn’t know him, and I thought he looked like a deer in headlights. When I got to know him and how passionate he is about music, I told him I wanted to do the musical Brigadoon, with bagpipes. He was suggesting other productions that did not include bagpipes, as he doesn’t like that instrument. Well, of course that’s why my drama class is doing Brigadoon! There’s no reason why he can’t learn and appreciate that amazing and ancient instrument.
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In order to survive or accomplish your goal of getting James to wear a kilt, you are going to have to step way outside of your comfort zone/box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult? I’m going to need some backup, some support to get James to wear a kilt AND to play the bagpipes. I’m going to recruit my family, my students, and the wrestling coach, to get James into shape. Maybe even the hole school without James knowing. That would be crazy cool! <div>5. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of? The habits and ways of thinking that I need to let go of, are knowing that one bad relationship doesn’t mean there won’t be a positive and long lasting one in my future. I can let go of being excessive with my needs of getting things done— going on extreme hikes, and needing to be fearless so I can feel alive.
6. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back? I’ve held back of letting go of the past, avoiding romantic relationships. Also being cynical and pretentious
7. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist? My expertise for the stage with visual storytelling with amazing music will work very well to face the creative and human challenges that James and I will encounter.
8. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know? I’m hiding from family and friends, the fact that I’m scared to engage in a romantic relationship. I don’t want to be burned again. It sucks. I hide my inner longing to have a loving relationship, because I don’t want any help in this arena. That happened before, never again.
Why? I push the idea of I’m too busy with work and don’t the time to date.
9. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What do you think of James? James is a fashionable guy, and thrifty and very contentious about doing Brigadoon for the school musical. I can tell he’s carrying around a deep pain inside. And, how can he hate the bagpipes? As a musician, he needs to understand how important the bagpipes are as an instrument, and how important they are to me.
10. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Tell me your side of this whole conflict/story. It started when we officially met for the first time at a staff meeting, and we were discussing the productions for the year; a play in the fall, and a musical in the spring. I said I wanted to do Brigadoon for the musical. James said no way. No bagpipes. That started it. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What does he have against kilts bagpipes? Answer: James wore a Gunn tartan kilt to his mom’s funeral, and doesn’t want to ever wear one again.
11. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What does it do for your life, if you succeed here? If I can succeed in getting James to wear a kilt, then I can believe that I’m more than just a scared woman hoping for the right guy to come around. James doesn’t need to wear a kilt, but I believe he’ll be empowered if he does, and that empowerment will rub off on me too.
QUESTIONS FOR YOUR ANTAGONIST Marion
1. Tell me about yourself. I’m a lover of the theatre and of Highland Games too. I’m serious about drama, and comedy, music too. I’m the theatre teacher at the high school I should have attended, but didn’t. My family had to move to Scotland when I was 9, and I just moved back recently to be home with my parents and relatives. This new music teacher we have though, he’s so stiff and reserved. I need him to be on board with my productions. </div><div>
2. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses? <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>My weaknesses are dealing with people who don’t share my ideas. Another weakness is I’m afraid to commit to any romantic relationship because of the bad breakup I had in Scotland. It’s very challenging for me to have strong friendships, because most of the time they easily fall apart. <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> My strengths are motivated by teaching theatre and dance. I also love to do Highland and Scottish Country Dancing.
3. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Why are you committed to making James change? I need James to change because 1) I will do Brigadoon with his students in the orchestra, and 2) I’ve come to realize that we are more similar than we are different.
4. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition? Wining the battle against James means that he won a freedom he has found again, and I won because I got him to wear a kilt while playing the bagpipes!
5. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin or death? Deep down, my passion has always been to help others, even on a level they might night agree with or understand. And so my agenda is not only to get what I want accomplished, but to help those gain understanding of what they are wanting.
6. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What secrets must you keep to succeed? Fear of another failed relationship.
What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity? Still upset with her parents for moving to Scotland.
7. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Compared to other people like you, what makes you special? I’m dedicated to what I love. That being the theatre, music, dancing and having a loving family
8. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What do you think of James? I think he’s a tough nut to crack, but when he does, he’ll have more strength and courage that he forgot he had.
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Mary MacNeith – Character Profiles Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment, is going deeper into who my characters are, where they are from and where they are going.
James Gunn
What draws us to this character? James’s music talents are off the charts, yet his skills to attract the opposite sex are all flat notes that fall off the scale. However his creativity with music and lifting the spirits of his students is heartfelt.
Traits: Fashionable, thrifty, music virtuoso
Subtext: Declines dates, loner, left Juilliard
Flaw: Fearful of romantic relationships
Values: Love, music, family
Irony: Hated the bagpipes until he heard them played hard rock styleWhat makes this the right character for this role? A bagpiper looks best in a kilt, so when James decides to learn the bagpipes to gain Marion’s attention, she figures out a way to make sure he wears a kilt if he wants to engage with her.
Marion MacDougall
What draws us to this character? Marion is a fun character with a lovely Scottish accent, even though she is an American, and loves a man in a kilt. She is lonely, yet adventurous; thoughtful, yet a bit careless; feels underserving yet mindful.
Traits: Cynical, pretentious, romantic
Subtext: A published author of spicy romance novels under a pseudonym
Flaw: Letting go of the past and embracing the future
Values: Family, writing,
Irony: Stays away from relationships, yet James caught her attention.
What makes this the right character for this role? Marion is the perfect antithesis to James, until they realize how similar they really are.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Mary MacNeith.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by
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2. James Gunn: Protagonist/Antagonist Runner/Villain
3. Marion MacDougall: Protagonist/Antagonist Explorer/Villain
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters: family, teachers, friends
Minor roles: Principal, teachers, Highland Game participants (athletes, musicians, re-enactors)
Background characters: high school students, teachers, Highland Game participants (athletes, musicians, re-enactors, patrons)
5. Pick your genre: Rom-Com or Buddy Movie
6. James Gunn
– Role in the story: Runner/Villain. A passionate musician and composer, who never stays in one place for too long, gets a teaching job at a high school, and is terrified to ask Marion the new teacher out on a date.
– Age range and Description: Male, thin build, late 20’s, passionate musician.
– Internal Journey: James goes from being cowardly around women, especially with Marion, and becoming confident and brave.
– External Journey: James is a prim and proper guy, and transforms into an emotionally stronger and handsomely scruffy Celtic rock bagpiper.
– Motivation: Made a promise to his mom that he would find a nice girl to marry
– Wound: His musician mother passed away when he was 13.
– Mission/Agenda: Compete at the Highland games, beat Duncan the wrestling coach and win the hand of Marion.
– Secret: Terrified of having a relationship with lady.
– What makes them special? He can play just about any instrument, except the bagpipe… which he learns and plays at the end of the story.
Marion MacDougall
– Role in the story: Born in the U.S. and raised in Scotland, came back to the states for college and to be near family.
– Age range and Description: Female, late 20’s, Scottish accent
Internal Journey: Marion missed out on being with her American family and wants to re-engage with them and make up for lost time.–
External Journey: Marion seeks adventure and someone to enjoy life with.– Motivation: wants to explore the world
– Wound: Hated leaving the U.S. when she was 5, and missing friends and family.
– Mission/Agenda: To get James to wear a kilt.
– Secret: She is a Highland dancer and at the Highland games
– What makes them special? She’s always wearing a piece of her MacDougall tartan, and likes to share her heritage and learn from other cultures.
<font face=”inherit”>7. What I learned doing this assignment is that my characters are </font>blossoming<font face=”inherit”> with clarity of who they are, and since I struggle with creating characters, this is a </font>wonderful<font face=”inherit”> exercise is developing these fun personalities. </font>
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1. Mary MacNeith
2. I’ve written four screenplays and two TV scripts. I’m working on a third TV script, and this 30 Day screenplay.
3. The hope I get from completing this class, is creating a fun script that is high concept, and learning the unique skills to complete this in a month, which I know I can do without elementary school coaching getting in the way. 🙂
4. The unique thing about me I like to say is that, I was 40 when I had my child. My mom was 40 when she had me, and my grandmother was 40 when she gave birth to my mom, who is now 92.
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MacNeith – Lesson 1 The Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment was creating ideas while doing the excessive and clarifying who my main character is, where they are coming from and who they become through their transformational journey.
My hero is James Gunn, a shy music teacher who falls in love with new teacher Marion.
Arc Beginning: Shy James likes Marion, but is fearful of her, feeling unworthy of a ladies love.
Arc Ending: James proposes to Marion and they have a Scottish wedding.
Internal Journey: James goes from being cowardly around women, especially with Marion, and becoming confident and brave.
External Journey: James is a prim and proper guy, and transforms into an emotionally stronger and handsomely scruffy Celtic rock bagpiper.
Old Ways: Lacks confidence with women
Perfectionist
Classical Musician
Fearful of marriage.New Ways: Self confident with women
Visionary
Bagpiper & Celtic rock musician
Proposes to Marion.What I learned doing this assignment was creating ideas while doing the excessive and clarifying who my main character is, where they are coming from and who they become through their transformational journey.
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Hi Amechi! I’m looking forward to your TV show 🙂
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Hi Elizabeth! Missing you at SuccessMasters. Big Hugs 🙂
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Hi Leona! I hope you’re doing great and having fun in the class. Hugs!