[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Actions/Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment: That creating a scene with suspense, surprise and shock is challenging! That pacing is crucial to building suspense. That the element of surprise is thrilling for the reader/audience.

Scene Outline:

Skye has rescued Leah and taken her to a safe house out in the countryside. At first all seems safe. Skye comforts her sister, who is still in a state of shock. She lights a fire, wraps her in a throw blanket, brings her tea. She does a walk-around of the property, checking all the locks. She sets the house alarm. The two sisters fall asleep by the fire.

Suspense

Early in the morning, Skye awakes from the sound of crunching on the gravel outside. She listens. Definitely someone out there. She wakes Leah and leads her to a hiding place in the cellar. She punches a code into the electronically locked closet and opens it to reveal a cache of weapons. She takes a rifle and stands by the living room window, peering out. She hears the sound again. Then tapping on the front door window. A pause. The footfalls on gravel continue around the house. Skye slips out the front door, gun ready, follows the sound in her stocking feet. She sees a figure in black heading away from her around the house. “Stop right there. I’m armed.”

The figure freezes. “Turn around slowly, arms in the air.” The figure turns around.

Surprise

It’s Jade.

Relief

Skye exhales, visibly relieved. “Oh, God, Jade. I thought…” Four armed figures in black military gear flood out of the garage. “I’m sorry, Skye.”

Shock

Skye stands in shock for an instant, then goes into battle mode.

Executed Scenes:

EXT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Skye pulls up to the farmhouse on her motorcycle with Leah behind her. The two women dismount the bike. Skye stands it near the garage.

SKYE
We should be safe here, Leah. Jade arranged it.

Leah nods silently. Follows Skye to the front door.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Stay here until I check it out.

Skye punches in the code, opens the door and enters. Leah waits.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – DAY

Skye and Leah stand in the middle of the living room feeling out their surroundings: rustic but modern, fireplace, wood stacked beside it, comfy sofas and throws. Large windows look out on a snowy field.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EVENING

Skye comforts her sister, who is still in a state of shock. She lights a fire, wraps Leah in a throw blanket, brings her tea.

She punches a code into the an electronically locked closet. Opens it to reveal a cache of weapons. She takes out a semi- automatic rifle.

EXT.FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EVENING

Skye does a walk-around of the property, checking all the locks.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EVENING

Skye steps back into the house, shuts the door, sets the house alarm which has a speaker system that amplifies outdoor sounds. The two sisters fall asleep by the fire.

INT. FARMHOUSE – COUNTRYSIDE – EARLY MORNING

Skye awakes from the sound over the speaker system of CRUNCHING on the gravel outside. She listens. Definitely someone out there. She shakes Leah to wake her.

SKYE (whispering)

Leah. Leah, get up. Leah wakes, groggy.

LEAH

What?

SKYE
Get up now. There’s someone out there. Come with me.

Leah wraps a throw around herself, follows Skye who leads her to a hiding place in the cellar.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Stay down there until I come back.

Leah starts to climb down into the cellar.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Wait.

Skye runs to the closet and returns with a hand gun.

SKYE (CONT’D)

Take this.

LEAH

Skye…I…

Skyes stares hard into Leah’s eyes.

SKYE

Leah. You got this.

Leah takes the gun, climbs down into the cellar. Skye rolls a carpet over the cellar door. Goes to the side of the living room window, semi in hand, and peers out.

CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH. Footfalls on gravel. A pause, then more crunching. TAP, TAP, TAP. Someone at the door. Skye stays silent and out of view. Again, TAP, TAP, TAP.

Nothing.

Skye waits. The crunching footfalls continue but fade. Skye slips silently out the front door in her stocking feet.

She sees a figure in black heading away from her around the house.

SKYE (CONT’D)

Stop right there. I’m armed.

The figure freezes.

SKYE (CONT’D)
Turn around slowly, arms in the air.

The figure obeys. It’s Jade.

Skye exhales, visibly relieved.

SKYE (CONT’D)

Oh, God, Jade. I thought–

Four armed figures in black military gear flood out of the garage.

JADE
I’m so sorry, Skye.

Skye stands in shock for an instant, then goes into battle mode.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Level 1 Action Emotions

What I learned doing this assignment:

The importance of the rise and fall of anxiety/fear/relief.

INT. SKYE’S BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING

Skye lies in her bed, the room darkened with vertical blinds. Her alarm clock wakes her with a soft insistent beep. She stretches, turns towards her bedside clock to turn the alarm off: 5:00 am. She gets out of bed, heads to the bathroom.

INT. SKYE’S BATHROOM – EARLY MORNING

Before the mirror, Skye washes her face. Grabs a towel, dries it. Blinks. Takes a little moisturizer and rubs it into her face. Leans towards the mirror to inspect closer. Turns to the open bathroom door–

–A hooded, masked MAN stands in the doorway. Skye FREEZES. Lightening quick, she grabs a water glass and whips it at the man, who ducks and steps forward. She kicks, aiming for his groin, but he grabs her leg and YANKS.

She falls back, hits her head against the edge of the tub.

INT. SKYE’S LIVING ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Skye sits in the dark room, unconscious, bound with zip-ties to a chair, her mouth gagged, head bowed. Slowly she comes to, lifts her head. Shakes it. Groans. Starts struggling, tries to get free.

The man takes a laptop, sets it on the dining room table. Opens it toward Skye and presses a button. A video plays.

Skye stops struggling, focuses on the laptop: It’s Leah, disheveled, hands bound, face tear streaked. She’s terrified.

LEAH
Skye, please do what they want.

Please. These people are–are dangerous. I don’t know what they want, but whatever it is, please, please do it. Please help me–

The video cuts off abruptly. The man shuts the laptop. Puts it in his backpack. Slings the pack over his shoulder. Leans down and cuts the zip-ties. Leaves.

Stunned, Skye slowly pulls the gag out of her mouth.

[Mary Goldman]

MARY’S STORY MAP

What I learned doing this assignment: To think deeper about the motivations/logic and about the structure.

1. Opening:

Action Track 1:

Intercut scenes of Skye in pursuit of a criminal (on motorcycle, doing parkour, etc.) with scenes of her in gymnastic competition

2. Inciting Incident:

Villain Track 1, Andros’ main henchman breaks into Sky’s home, overpowers her, threatens her

Mission Track 1: shows her a video of her sister who has been kidnapped, pleading, for her to cooperate.

3. First Turning Point at end of Act 1:

Mission Track 2: Skye discovers who is behind the kidnapping

4. Mid-Point:

Villain Track 2: Skye discovers what Andros wants in return for her sister

Mission Track 3: now it’s not just her sister’s life at stake, but the security of the country as well

Villian Track 3: An opposing secret mercenary agency, hired by the Chinese government, learns of Andros’ plan and decides to ‘piggy back’ on it with the goal of stealing the info from Skye before she can get to Andros.

5. Second Turning Point at end of Act 2:

Mission Track 4: Sky discovers a lead on her sister’s location and follows it, Action Track 2: only to be pursued in a high-speed car/motorcycle chase by the mercenaries. She overcomes her pursuers, but it turns out the lead was false.

Villain Track 4: Skye discovers the co-worker and supposed close friend that gave her the false lead, actually betrayed her. Andros had threatened to kill this friend’s wife if he didn’t betray Skye.

6. Crisis:

Action Track 3, Mission Track 5: Skye encounters dangerous situations and using her cunning and skills, eventually rescues her sister.

Villain Track 5: But…Andros discovers the location of Sky’s safe house (where she has taken her sister after she rescues her) and orders an ambush.

Action Track 4: Sky and her sister successfully fight off their assailants

Villain Track 6: only to find they’ve been lead into a trap where they are caught and brought to Andros.

7. Climax:

Villain Track 7: Here Andros interrogates Skye. Enraged that he has not gotten what he wants, he decides to administer a rufie-like drug which will slowly kill Skye while her sister watches.

8. Resolution:

Action Track 5: But Skye’s sister manages to get free and help Skye. Together they overcome Andros and use the drug on him. He stumbles, overcome by the drug, and falls to his death.

Action Track 6: As Skye and her sister escape another team of mercenaries show up. Skye and her sister fight them off, evading them.

Conclusion: Skye and her sister must enter witness protection and start a new life.

[Mary Goldman]

In hindsight, I realize I have some plot holes to work out. Might post a new version later in the weekend.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Action Structure!

What I learned doing this assignment: How the Action genre figures into the 3-Act structure. Adding twists/reversals along the way makes a more engaging story. Haven’t quite figured out my opening question that is key to the story, or more rather how to answer it. I think that will have to be layered throughout, showing flashbacks from Skye’s life in Israel.

1. Opening:

A lead character in an action scene: Intercut scenes of Skye in pursuit of a criminal (on motorcycle, doing parkour, etc.) with scenes of her in gymnastic competition

A challenging situation that creates conflict: catching a bad guy for the CIA

Gives us an insight into the character: Shows her as a determined, disciplined athlete with extraordinary skills,

Opens a question that is key to the story: How did an Israeli gymnast end up a CIA agent?

2. Inciting Incident: kidnapping of Skye’s sister

3. First Turning Point at end of Act 1: Skye discovers who is behind the kidnapping

4. Mid-Point: Skye discovers what Andros wants in return for her sister – now it’s not just her sister’s life at stake, but the security of the country as well

5. Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Sky discovers a lead on her sister’s location and follows it, only to be pursued in a high-speed car/motorcycle chase by Andros’ henchmen. She overcomes her pursuers, but it turns out the lead was false. Skye discovers the co-worker and supposed close friend that gave her the false lead, actually betrayed her.

6. Crisis: Skye encounters dangerous situations and using her cunning and skills, eventually rescues her sister. But…Andros discovers the location of Sky’s safe house (where she has taken her sister after she rescues her) and orders an ambush. Sky and her sister successfully fight off their assailants only to find they’ve been lead into a trap where they are caught and brought to Andros.

7. Climax: Here Andros interrogates Skye. Enraged that he has not gotten what he wants, he decides to administer a rufie-like drug which will slowly kill Skye while her sister watches.

8. Resolution: But Sky’s sister manages to get free and help Sky. Together they overcome Andros and use the drug on him. He stumbles, overcome by the drug, and falls to his death.

[Mary Goldman]

MARY’S ACTION TRACK

What I learned from this assignment:

In order to engage the audience’s emotional ‘buy-in’, each action scene needs a purpose. That I need to establish my protagonist’s skills early on. That there should be an escalation of action scenes.

A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up in this movie? Chase/Pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Rescue, Escape/Evade, Dangerous Situations, Interrogation

B. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track? All of the above.

C. How can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?

First Act:

The action would start right at the beginning with an opening scene of Sky in pursuit of a criminal. This set piece would feature Sky on a motorcycle, Sky doing Parkour, and Sky’s sharp-shooting skills.

(Purpose: to establish Sky’s ability and that she’s a CIA agent)

Inciting incident: Andros’ main henchman breaks into Sky’s home, overpowers her, threatens her, shows her a video of her sister who has been kidnapped, pleading, for her to cooperate.

(Purspose: to set up the main conflict of the story, to establish the stakes)

Second Act:

Sky discovers a lead on her sister’s location and follows it, only to be pursued in a high-speed car/motorcycle chase by Andros’ henchmen through winding streets, resulting in a shoot-out where Sky overcomes her pursuers, except for one with whom she ends up in hand-to-hand combat. He gets away, but she is able to put a tracking device on him first. She finds the initial location but it turns out the lead was false.

(Purpose: to engage the audience in a high-suspense thrill ride, to further the story with the tracking device plant)

Third Act: Sky, using the tracking device from the assailant, discovers where her sister is being held hostage: a large estate in the countryside. She prepares for the rescue. She encounters dangerous situations, as the estate has many booby-traps. She will evade danger using her cunning and skills, eventually rescuing her sister.

(Purpose: to keep the audience on the edge of their seat, by heightening the stakes of Sky’s mission)

Andros discovers the location of Sky’s safe house (where she has taken her sister after she rescues her) and orders an ambush. Sky and her sister successfully fight off their assailants only to find they’ve been lead into a trap where they are caught and brought to Andros.

(Purpose: To tease the audience with a reversal, just when they think Sky has won)

Here Andros interrogates Sky. Enraged that he has not gotten what he wants, he decides to administer a rufie-like drug which will slowly kill the women.

(Purpose: to further the suspense with an ‘all-is-lost’ moment)

But Sky’s sister manages to get free and help Sky. Together they overcome Andros and use the drug on him.

(Purpose: to treat the audience to one last action sequence)

[Mary Goldman]

ASSIGNMENT #4 – Mary’s Villain Track

What I learned from this assignment:

To start thinking from my villain’s point of view. To brainstorm the escalating components of action/reaction which originate with my villain.

1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.

• A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.

Andros’ Pre-existing Plan: In his quest to climb Russia’s political ladder, Andros hatches a plan to steal classified documents which show the secret locations of the U.S.’s nuclear submarines. He plans to sell this information to Russia as well as China. He settles on CIA agent, Sky Silver, as his conduit, forcing her co-operation by kidnapping her sister.

• How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero?

Initial attack: Andros orders a cyberattack on Sky’s personal and professional accounts, including her home security systems, to gather information about her and her activities.

Kidnapping of Sky’s sister: Andros’ main henchman breaks into Sky’s home, overpowers her, threatens her, shows her video of her sister pleading, forcing her to cooperate.

Pressure & Intimidation: Andros’ organization keeps Sky under constant surveillance, making her aware of their presence and the potential harm they can cause, further pressuring her to comply.

Car Chase: Sky discovers a lead on her sister’s location and follows it, only to be pursued in a high-speed car chase by Andros’ henchmen through the winding streets of Moscow.

Undercover operative betrayal: Andros plants a mole within Sky’s trusted circle, and this person betrays her by luring her into a trap.

1st Failed Ambush: Through the planted mole, Andros discovers the location of Sky’s safe house where she has taken her sister after she rescues her. He orders an ambush. Sky and her sister barely escape with their lives and go on the run to evade further attacks.

2nd Failed Ambush: Andros arranges a meeting with Sky under false pretenses, only to have the meeting location booby-trapped with explosives.

Final Solution: Andros’ men capture Sky and her sister and bring them to him. He intends to administer a rufie-like drug which will slowly kill the women.

• C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie?

Unlimited resources in assassins, technology, and finances, exploited through surveillance, data hacking, assailants, secret locations.

• D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done?

Sky injects Andros with the drug he intended to use on her and he dies an excruciatingly painful, slow death.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Hero’s Mission Track

Assignment #3 – CREATING THE MISSION TRACK

What I learned from this assignment:

The importance of creating not only a solid mission, but also the actions that build the story (the track). To figure out how to justify my hero’s actions by revealing her motivations so as to ensure the audience’s buy-in.

1. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds? First off, because of her experience as a gymnast, her skills as a sharp-shooter and as a trained CIA operative, Sky has the skills/confidence needed. Second, she is motivated to save her sister, whom she loves deeply and is her only remaining family member.
2. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal? To go up against Andros and the Russian crime organization who far outnumber her.
3. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero? Sky’s internal motivation is love for her sister, with whom she has been through the loss of their parents. Her external motivation is to avoid betraying her country and taking down Andros and his organization.
4. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain? Searching for her sister, searching for Andros, fighting with Andros’ thugs that guard the Sky, fighting with Andros’ thugs that guard Andros, eliminating Andros.

Mission Steps

Clear Mission: To save her sister and take down Andros and his thugs.

• Motivation: Love of sister, love of country
• Inciting Incident: Kidnapping of sister
• First Action: Find out who’s behind kidnapping
• Obstacle: Andros’ identity is hidden behind an encrypted firewall
• Escalation: A ticking clock: Sky’s sister needs her meds within 5 days or risks dying. Andros sets up surveillance of Sky. She figures this out and tries to flush out Andros’ operatives. A high-octane chase ensues.
• Overwhelming Odds: Sky against Andros’ seemingly endless army of assailants
• New Plan: With the help of a fellow agent coder, Sky discovers Andros is behind the kidnapping. She gears up to save her sister and go after Andros himself
• Full out Attack: Sky frees her sister but is captured by Andros’ men who take her to face him in his secret lair.
• Success: Using all her skills she manages to escape and ‘turn the tables’, obliterating his crew and forcing Andros to off himself.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Hero and Villain

Concept:

A CIA agent must rescue her sister who’s been kidnapped by a mysterious Russian Operative in order to force the agent to access and divulge classified information which the Operative plans to sell to the Russian and Chinese governments.

Hero Morally Right:

Sky Silver, CIA agent must save her kidnapped sister from (Russian crime organization?, Russian FSB?) and take down the Operative in order to protect U.S. classified nuclear info.

Villain Morally Wrong:

Andros Zmey, known as The Serpent, is a Russian Crime Boss. He sends one of his operatives to kidnap Sky’s sister in order to force Sky to access and divulge the location of U.S. nuclear subs. He plans to sell this info to the Russian government.

Hero

1. Unique Skill Set: Duel U.S./Israeli citizen, Sky was an Olympic gymnast in her teens, served in the Israeli army where she developed skills as a sharp-shooter, was then recruited and trained by CIA
2. Motivation: Loves her sister, who is her only remaining family. Devoted patriot to U.S.
3. Secret or Wound: Lost her parents in a terrorist bombing in Israel. Conflicted from witnessing the oppression of the Palestinians while serving in the army, she jumped at the chance to train with the CIA in the U.S., hoping to eventually train in de-escalation and negotiation to make a difference from the inside.

Villain

1. Unbeatable: Andros heads a formidable crime organization—a virtual army of paid, ruthless mercenaries
2. Plan/Goal: To become the next Putin
3. What they lose if Hero survives: The favour of the high-placed Russian government official who is the next wrung on the ladder to his ultimate goal. As well, will lose the considerable fee to be given by both the Russian and Chinese governments in exchange for the classified information.

Impossible Mission

1. Puts Hero in Action: the kidnapping of her sister.
2. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: Sky finds a way to forge and deliver the classified info, but just after the trade (her sister for the info) Andros discovers the ruse. Now Sky must use all her skills (smarts, parkour, sharp-shooting) to elude or kill the army of assassins the enraged Andros sends after her.
3. Destroy the Villain: Sky frees her sister but is captured by Andros’ men who take her to face him in his secret lair. Using all her skills she manages to escape and ‘turn the tables’, obliterating his crew and forcing Andros to off himself.

What I learned from this assignment:

To think more deeply about the motivations of both my hero and villain and ensure that the stakes for each of them are life-or-death high. To ensure that they are on opposite sides of the moral compass.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Conventions

So when I signed up for this course I was thinking that it would help with adding action to a Suspense/Thriller that I am working on–I wasn’t actually thinking of writing a full on Action screenplay. All this to say that as an exercise, I’ve begun brainstorming a new Action screenplay. Here’s what I got so far (I’ve added a “ticking clock”):

Who is your hero and what makes her highly skilled?

Sky Silver, Olympic gymnast as a teenager, served time in the Israeli military, recruited and trained by the CIA for covert operations.

What is the demand for action?

Sky’s sister is kidnapped by a mysterious Operative who seeks classified U.S. war documents (locations of nuclear subs?). To save her sister, Sky must penetrate the Pentagon and find the documents. Sky faces a moral dilemma: save her sister by divulging classified documents or find a way to save her from the kidnapper.

Ticking Clock

Sky’s sister has an illness that requires regular medication. She can last only 4 days without this medication.

What’s the mission Sarah is on?

To save her sister and to take out the Operative.

Who is the antagonist?

The Russian Operative and his Handler. It will later be revealed that the operative is actually a disillusioned, retired agent who has been blackmailed into doing the kidnapping by his Handler.

How will the action escalate?

The opening scene will be a spectacular action set piece involving a car chase with Sky on a motorcycle. This will establish her skills, i.e. gymnastic parkour, etc. She will complete the assignment, bringing down foes, at which time we learn she is a C.I.A. (or maybe Mossad?) agent. However, she sustains a leg injury which puts her behind a desk, working as an analyst in Intelligence.

Sky enlists the help of a fellow analyst to track the operative’s digital footprint, giving her clues as to who he is and where he’s likely holding her sister.

Before setting out to find the operative, Sky visits a friend/colleague at a C.I.A lab where they are developing bionic aids, i.e. exoskeleton suits, etc. She convinces the friend to fit her with a pair of hi-powered bionic leg exoskeletons. She tests them out in their parkour gym, providing an entertaining action scene.

Unbeknownst to the operative, his handler has enlisted another agent to assassinate Sky once she’s divulged the documents. This operative sets up surveillance of Sky. She figures this out and tries to flush out the operative. A high-octane chase ensues.

What I learned from this assignment:

To establish a protagonist with exceptional skills, to establish an illusive, ruthless Antagonist who ensnares the protagonist in a mission, putting her through escalating challenges.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary Goldman

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Mary Goldman]

Hi Fellow Writers,

I’m Mary Goldman. I’ve written 5 feature length scripts and a number of short scripts. I hope to learn new action writing techniques. I’ve just finished the first draft of my 5th script, a suspense-thriller, which I expanded from a 30 pg. short, so hoping to elevate the action.

Something unique about me: just started volunteer teaching a Zumba/Fitness class at a local homeless shelter where there are many refugees.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Favourite Twists

What I learned doing this assignment:

Twists/reversals are what keep the audience fully engaged and on the edge of their seats. They trigger questions that the audience wants answered and will keep watching to get those answers.

Five Favourites:

Setup/Twist (New Threat): As Skye follows up on a lead to the location of where the Russian crime boss, Andros, is keeping her sister, she is pursued/attacked by another faction: a squad of mercenaries—she discovers that they are not Russian, but from China. Now she is being pursued by two different factions!

Setup/Twist (Betrayal): Skye confronts her best friend Jade about the false lead and discovers Jade actually betrayed her. Andros had threatened to kill Jade’s child if she didn’t betray Skye.

Setup/Twist (Safety to Danger): Andros discovers the location of Skye’s safe house (where she has taken her sister after she rescues her) and orders an ambush.

Setup/Twist (Safety to Danger): Skye and her sister successfully fight off their assailants… …only to find they’ve been lead into a trap where they are caught and brought to Andros.

Setup/Twist (Safety to Danger): As Skye and her sister escape another team of mercenaries show up. Skye and her sister fight them off, evading them.

[Mary Goldman]

Mary’s Hero’s Likability/Empathy/Justification

What I learned doing this assignment: That it’s crucial to illustrate these qualities in my hero in order to earn the audience’s empathy, in order to create a hero they will want to root for. To think about how I can show these qualities in a way that will have the audience’s buy-in by the end of Act 1 (or hopefully sooner!).

1. Opening:

Intercut scenes of Skye in pursuit of a criminal (on motorcycle, doing parkour, sharp shooting, etc.).

Flashback: scenes of her in gymnastic competition (parents and sister, Leah, cheering her on, high-fives from teammates and coach).

Back to present: Ultimately, Skye brings down the target but injures her leg in the process.

Skye meets with her superior. Because of her injury, Skye is taken off active duty—she requests to be placed in a training for de-escalation techniques. She tells her superior that she wants to stay out of active duty for good. She’s had enough violence.

Flashback to bombing of parents and journey to U.S. with her younger sister, Leah.

Skye brings gifts for her co-worker, Jade’s children. Jade, her closest friend, is an expert in digital forensics.

Skye’s superior wants to get her back on active duty, so he sends her to the CIA Body Tech Lab where she’s to be fitted with exoskeleton gear, but she walks out. She’s determined to stay off active duty.

2. Inciting Incident:

Andros, a Russian crime boss, targets Skye, sends his main henchman to break into Sky’s home and overpower her. The henchman then shows her a video of Leah, who has been kidnapped. Leah pleads, for her to cooperate. The henchman has a tattoo on the inside of his lower arm—a clue to who he is/who sent him (okay, so this is pretty cliche—will try to think of another type of clue).

3. First Turning Point at end of Act 1:

Skye turns to her friend, Jade. She helps Skye discover who is behind the kidnapping.

Skye goes back the the Body Tech Lab and gets fitted for a pair of power leggings.

4. Mid-Point:

Andros sends Skye an encrypted message, revealing what he wants in return for her sister: classified info about locations of nuclear subs.

Flashback to Andros negotiating with a Russian official: he will get a high political position in return for the info.

Now it’s not just her sister’s life at stake, but the security of the country as well