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  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    August 27, 2023 at 10:55 pm in reply to: Lesson 10

    Mary’s Plot and Character Layers

    What I learned doing this assignment is there are endless possibilities for under layers and that as you brainstorm for one character or storyline, applying that layer to a different character or storyline can produce even more intriguing twists and turns.

    Example show: Riverdale

    Surface: Veronica is new to town and seems like sophisticated New York girl.

    Layer 1: Hidden Agenda — Veronica and her mom are in Riverdale to escape the scrutiny of NYC criminal actions involving her father.

    Layer 2: Conspiracy — Veronica’s mother is hiding what she knows from Veronica.

    Layer 3: Secret Identity — Keeping family secrets gives Veronica great power over her mother most teens wouldn’t have to leverage to get their way.

    Layer 4: Wound — Veronica’s pain over her family circumstances leaves her emotionally vulnerable to other events/people in Riverdale.

    Mayr’s Show: My PS

    PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.

    Major scheme revealed- Lizzy’s tryst with Geoff’s son, Ryan who figures out what first?

    Mystery revealed- Geoff is financial advisor whose own finances are a mess.

    Thought the story was one thing, but it is another- Lizzy is supposed to be in WPP, but plans to break the rules and contact her high school BFF when he vacations in Palm Springs.

    Major shift in Meaning-Lizzy frames herself as innocent witness of a crime, but she’s really managed to frame someone else as revenge.

    Hidden history-Geoff and Ryan have a long-buried hatchet that resurfaces.

    Hidden plan- While Sean is busy digging up dirt on Lizzy, she’s doing the same on him.

    Major betrayal- When both Geoff and Ryan promise to not pursue Lizzy, who will keep their word?

    CHARACTER LAYERS – identity beneath the identity.

    Secret identity- Lizzy’s secret identity from WPP, but also someone else?

    Character intrigue- One member of the HOA is hiding a secret – they’re dying!

    Hidden relationships and conspiracies- Sean and Lizzy figure each other’s secrets out and then do they have each other’s backs or leverage power of outing the lies?

    Hidden Character history- Sean’s whole cover story of dead family is a lie, he was disowned.

    Plot Surface:

    Layer 1: Geoff is attracted to his new neighbor Lizzy and brags to his son about his interest without knowing those two just had a one-night stand.

    Layer 2: As sparks fly between Lizzy and Geoff, the mutual attraction seems on a set path. But once Lizzy figures out that Geoff is Ryan’s father, she puts the brakes on.

    Layer 3: Geoff is confused and upset about Lizzy’s change of tune. As he complains to Ryan, he starts to notice Ryan defending her. An odd behavior for Ryan when it comes to someone he doesn’t know. He also observes the two having conversations that seem overly familiar.

    Layer 4: When Geoff learns Ryan and Lizzy had a fling, he feels duped. His competitive streak also kicks in.

    Character Surface:

    Layer 1: Lizzy can play innocent when she first introduces herself. Even framing herself as a bit of a prude.

    Layer 2: When she realizes Geoff is Ryan’s dad, she knows her initial story is at risk. And she must navigate the underlying old issues between father and son.

    Layer 3: Lizzy also finds herself attracted to both father and son. She puts on the brakes with Geoff, but does she dare another secret tryst with Ryan?

    Layer 4: What does it do for Lizzy to have two men wanting her after her troubled past and where do her trust issues rise up to cause problems as they figure out the triangle?

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    July 9, 2023 at 6:03 pm in reply to: Lesson 9

    Mary’s Show – My PS – Big Picture Open Loops

    What I learned doing this assignment is not every loop has to be closed as quickly in BWTV as it does in episodic shows and touching on them intermittently reminds audience of the situation to keep them intrigued.

    Riverdale: Big picture loops

    · Who killed Jason and why?

    · Will Archie’s secret relationship w/teacher be found out?

    · What are the secrets at the Blossom mansion?

    · What happened to Polly?

    My PS- Big Picture Open Loops

    GOALS:

    · Geoff and son compete for Lizzy’s affection.

    · Run for HOA president brings out competitiveness and grudges between neighbors and old scores to settle.

    · Lizzy’s writing earns recognition that she can’t receive it because she’s now in WPP.

    CONSEQUENCES:

    · Lizzy was not only a witness to a crime, she actually committed the crime but framed someone else to take the fall as revenge for being cheated on.

    · Someone else in the HOA crew is also in WPP and hiding a past life.

    SOLVING PROBLEMS:

    · Geoff is forced to get sober changing his role and status in the HOA.

    · Lizzy’s sexuality may not have a simple answer.

    RELATIONSHIPS:

    · Sean’s sad story about his past family troubles is all a lie.

    · Geoff and his son’s amicable relationship is built on the shaky foundation of a troubled past.

    · Lizzy’s quick reactions to certain triggers signal past abuse that haunts her.

    DANGER / SURVIVAL / RISKS:

    · Who among the HOA friends secretly knows they’re dying?

    · Sean is hiding an addiction while leading the charge to get Geoff sober.

    · How will the safety of Lizzy’s adult children be affected by her actions?

    Top 5 Open Loops for Pilot:

    1. What crime did Lizzy witness?

    2. Who is she being protected from?

    3. Was Lizzy involved in that criminal activity?

    4. Will someone figure out Lizzy is living a lie?

    5. Will Geoff and Lizzy ever act on their sexual attraction?

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    July 8, 2023 at 9:56 pm in reply to: Lesson 8

    Mary’s Show – My PS – Mysteries

    What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s okay to delay spilling everything to the audience and to interrupt scenes to extend the intrigue.

    Mysteries from Riverdale

    · Why did Jason want to leave Riverdale?

    · Why was he afraid his parents would try to stop him?

    · Why did Cheryl lie about what she knew?

    · Who wanted Jason dead?

    · What did Jason do to Polly?

    · Who held Jason captive before his death?

    · How will Archie telling that he heard the gun shot affect Ms. Grundy and their relationship?

    · Is the football team’s playbook part of the reason Jason was killed? What’s in the book?

    · Betty has a very dark side, but dark enough to be a murderer?

    · With the scout knowing Ms. Grundy was at the river, will she and Archie’s be found out?

    My PS – Mysteries

    1. Create your Shocking Event Mystery

    A. Shocking Event: Lizzy knows information about a crime and enters the witness protection program to stay safe.

    B. Secret: Can’t tell anyone in her new city that she’s in the program.

    C. Investigation: Audience will need to figure out that she’s living a lie in her new city and will want to know what the truth that she’s hiding.

    WWWWW and How: Who is Lizzy really? What is she hiding? When did the crime happen that set her new life in motion? Why is she lying about her identity? How will her old values and new city clash?

    Part Withheld: Who is Lizzy really? What did she witness?

    2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

    A. Cover up: Lizzy is relying on her witness protection contact to help her cover up her past so she can’t be found. Her contact advises her on what lies to tell, even though they go against her values.

    B. Secret: Lizzy’s past life must be kept secret to be sure she isn’t found by whomever she’s testifying against.

    C. Reveals: Flashbacks to Lizzy’s past can reveal what she knows in pieces. Her slip-ups while trying to live her new identity can be caught by different characters who eventually put those pieces together.

    WWWWW and How: Who – is Lizzy being hidden from? What- does she know that no one else does about the crime? When – did it happen, and will she have to go back and testify any further? Where – did Lizzy’s past life happen? How – did Lizzy get entangled in the crime and is she completely innocent?

    Part Withheld: What is the crucial piece of
    information that Lizzy knows? How was Lizzy involved in the crime?

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    July 8, 2023 at 7:33 pm in reply to: Lesson 7

    Mary’s Show My PS – Empathy/Distress

    What I learned doing this assignment is that plotting out these situations now is leading to ideas for situations that can be brought out in stages instead of all at once.

    1. Make a list of BIG PICTURE difficult situations and decisions your characters could make because of the main conflict of this series.

    Just ask: “Knowing the concept, what are the big picture Empathy/Distress situations that could occur?”

    A. Undeserved misfortune – Lizzy is forced into witness protection because of bad things others did; sent to city to start over that is completely misaligned with Lizzy’s values.

    B. External Character conflicts – Lizzy fakes being gay thinking she’ll only be in PS a short time but attraction to Geoff challenges whether she lives the lie or tells the truth; conflict arises when she seeks relief from her lie with a one-night stand, but it turns out to be with Geoff’s son; Sean is exactly the stereotype of gay that Lizzy fears because she doesn’t understand it.

    C. Plot intruding on life – While she is faking being gay and living the lie that is keeping her hidden from her past, she is confronted with situations that force her to participate and be conflicted by the acceptance from gay community that she refused to give them.

    D. Moral dilemmas – Lizzy’s lifetime of conservative opinions are challenged, also requiring her to examine her past actions towards others.

    E. Forced decisions they’d never make – Not only is Lizzy challenged by the views she’s long held, she starts to examine her own sexuality. Sean develops friendship with Lizzy that – to go deeper – also requires him to forgive Lizzy and others like her that he’s been judging in return.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by  Mary Guinane.
  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    July 4, 2023 at 1:19 am in reply to: Lesson 6

    What I learned doing this assignment is…handling conflict and subtext via dialogue/situations that keep a comedic element will be a challenge.

    Betty Veronica Archie Jughead

    Surface HS classmates Best friends friends in same HS social circle

    Common Ground friends, school, want to be popular, dislike Cheryl grew up next door to each other, same class always neither popular in school, a bit on the fringe

    Conflict jealous over boys, Whether or not they should date How to go about investigation

    History betrayal, competing for attention/power friends since childhood, Betty stood up for & helped Archie as kids Betty holds superior position in HS, good girl status over Jughead’s outsider status

    Subtext Betty doesn’t fully trust Veronica after betrayal Betty is in love w/Archie but he only sees her as a friend Jughead seems to see things Betty doesn’t realize

    Relationship Arc bond over getting justice for girls listed in the book, like Polly friends, unrequited love, friends but uncomfortable while they see each other dating other people bond over journalism role in solving mystery

    Lizzy Sean Geoff

    Surface neighbors in the HOA neighbors in the HOA

    Common Ground both struggle to be accepted for who they are single and straight

    Conflict Lizzy wants her secrets to remain secret but Sean pushes for her to open up and be authentic, not realizing the lies she’s telling are to keep her safe Geoff interested in relationship w/Lizzy but she doesn’t want to date a neighbor

    History Sean is super nosey trying to figure out Lizzy’s truth. She puts up her guard but needs his friendship Neither know right away, but Lizzy figures out before Geoff that she slept with his son and then needs to fend off his advances because of that

    Subtext If Sean figures out Lizzy’s truth, will he keep her secret. Can Lizzy trust this stranger with her life? Geoff doesn’t understand why the sexual tension that seemed to be heading somewhere suddenly stops

    Relationship Arc friends, suspicious mistrust, confrontation, confession, trust bond friends, sexual tension builds, friction when suddenly changes, anger/embarrassment

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 25, 2023 at 5:40 pm in reply to: Lesson 5

    What I learned doing this assignment is…understanding triggers and motivation will be key to creating dialog and responses to situations for each character.

    ASSIGNMENT 1: Riverdale

    Betty:

    A. Situational: Hopes to be loved and accepted / Fears she’s inadequate compared to other kids.

    B. Motivation: Wants to know the truth / Needs everything to be okay.

    C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion inner anger and rage/ Public Mask- nice girl persona

    D. Weaknesses-her rage sneaks up on her and pushes her to the edge unexpectedly.

    E. Triggers- anger at betrayal

    F. Coping Mechanism-denial

    Veronica:

    A. Situational: Hopes for friendship and fresh start / Fears judgement because of dad’s actions and her past

    B. Motivation: Wants to be better version of herself, no longer a mean girl / Needs to be liked and accepted.

    C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion feels unworthy/ Public Mask- confident NYC girl.

    D. Weaknesses- quick to anger and seek retaliation and control.

    E. Triggers – being lied to

    F. Coping Mechanism – anger, manipulation

    ASSIGNMENT 2: My PS

    Lizzy:

    A. Situational: Hopes for a fresh start and chance to be better person / Fears being found by the criminals she testified against and not using what she learned and making the same mistakes again.

    B. Motivation: Want” Safety / Need: Acceptance

    C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – people would rather be interacting with anyone over her / Public Mask- outgoing and self-assured.

    D. Weaknesses: She invests emotionally in people for who she thinks they could be, not who they really are.

    E. Triggers- betrayal

    F. Coping Mechanism- food, alcohol, secret sex

    Sean:

    A. Situational: Hope that he can live his life freely / Fears he’s constantly being judged.

    B. Motivation: Wants to be respected / Needs to be in control/right.

    C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – scars of shame from family disowning him / Public Mask – confident, gay man.

    D. Weaknesses- jealous of others’ successes

    E. Triggers- being left out or deceived.

    F. Coping Mechanism- alcohol, holding grudges, manipulation.

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 24, 2023 at 11:15 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    What I learned doing this assignment is…playing with the layers is opening up new story lines that need time to percolate and unfold instead of figuring them out completely now.

    ASSIGNMENT 1:

    1. Example Show – Character Intrigue

    Archie & teacher keeping secret that they were at the river when shot fired

    Betty had hidden agenda to have romantic relationship with Archie instead of best friend

    Cheryl is competing to maintain control at Riverdale HS.

    Jughead brings up the fact that he and Archie were supposed to be on road trip on 4<sup>th</sup> of July and wants the truth.

    Cheryl conspires that whoever shot Jason was someone they all know.

    2. Character Intrigue used to create the need to see more episodes.

    From episode 1 to 2 you want to know:

    · what the autopsy reveals

    · if Archie will tell sheriff they heard the gunshot

    · If/when Archie tells Jughead why road trip canceled, how will Jughead react

    · Will betty and Archie’s friendship be ruined when he doesn’t love her the same way

    · What will be revealed about the circumstances around Jason’s death

    ASSIGNMENT 2

    Character Name:

    Role: Lizzy new to Palm Springs

    Hidden agendas: her witness protection contact doesn’t know that her BFF from high school vacations in Palm Springs and she plans to connect with him when he does which is against the rules.

    Competition:

    Conspiracies:

    Secrets: in witness protection program

    Deception:

    Wound: being in the witness protection program doesn’t make her completely innocent of wrong doing for whatever the crime was that was committed

    Secret Identity: She has whole former life and needs to keep & let go of different parts of that to fit in and start over.

    Character Name:

    Role: Sean, long-time Palm Springs resident and connected in the town

    Hidden agendas:

    Competition: he wants to be alpha male in the HOW social circle and competing with Geoff

    Conspiracies:

    Secrets:

    Deception: He secretly investigates Lizzy and starts to unravel her “starting over” story

    Wound: Family didn’t accept him as homosexual

    Secret Identity: Claims that his family was welcoming when he came out, but that they’re all dead now. Instead, he has a family who disowned him, but he made a cover story to combat the shame he felt over family not accepting him.

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 18, 2023 at 8:01 pm in reply to: Lesson 3

    What I learned from this assignment… seeing characters from their motivations leads to more interesting interactions than just playing off their personality quirks.

    Riverdale: Betty/Veronica

    A. Role in the show:

    Betty: The naïve, small-town girl poised for friendship to turn to romance w/best friend
    Veronica: Sophisticated new girl in town who befriends Betty

    B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:

    Betty: Knows the town and everyone’s small town details.
    Veronica: In contrast to Betty, she is worldly and has a mean girl past to teach Betty things

    C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

    Betty: Appears innocent but has motive to kill Jason
    Veronica: Father’s crimes help give her an instant reputation as a bad girl.

    D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

    Betty: Lying to protect her friends and defy her parents.

    Veronica: Does she abandoned her vow to change her life?

    E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

    Betty: How far is she willing to go to avenge Jason hurting Polly?
    Veronica: Will protecting her family secrets win out over needs of new friends?

    F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

    Betty: Her mom is conniving and controlling.
    Veronica: She is struggling with the fall-out from her parents’ decisions.

    My P.S.: Lizzy

    A. Role in the show:

    Lizzy: She’s on a journey to create a new life in a strange town.

    Sean: Represents all the people Lizzy judges without knowing them.

    B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:

    Lizzy: She has to build a life before the witness protection money runs out. She comes in with positive attitude and vulnerability of starting over.
    Sean: Knows what it’s like to be different, to live a lie but his purpose is to contrast Lizzy’s judgements by simply being himself.

    C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?

    Lizzy: Living the witness protection program story is like living a lie.
    Sean: He figures out Lizzy is lying, but holds the secret without even telling her.

    D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?

    Lizzy: Is she a fraud, a victim or both?

    Sean: How do you build a friendship on a lie?

    E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?

    Lizzy: Will she blow her cover to help her connect with new friends?
    Sean: Is Sean the one who ends up being the more judgmental of the two?

    F. Empathetic: Why do we care?

    Lizzy: She’s dropped into a completely unfamiliar community and is frightened.
    Sean: He’s incredibly kind to Lizzy because he understands her journey.

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 18, 2023 at 3:10 am in reply to: Lesson 2

    What I learned from this lesson…The amount of time characters interact doesn’t define their level of interconnectedness, it’s the exchange of information/emotion that tells the audience more.

    Assignment 1:

    From the show Riverdale:

    A. Main Characters Circle:

    Betty/Veronica/Cheryl/Archie

    B. Connected Circle:

    Jughead/Alice Cooper/Kevin/Fred Andrews/Moose/Ms. Grundy

    C. Environment Circle:

    Reggie/Fangs/Football players/Cheerleaders/Pussycats/Sherriff/Principal

    Assignment 2:

    Characters in my pilot: My P.S.

    Lizzy – At 52, heterosexual Lizzy decides to make the most of a witness protection program clerical error that sends her to start life anew in Palm Springs, the gayest town in the country.

    Geoff – A single, 55-year-old high-functioning alcoholic with narcissistic tendencies and a touch of OCD seems to have it all together as a work-from-home financial consultant. He’s the charming host of HOA happy hours and occasional puppeteer of his neighbor’s lives.

    George & Brady – The old-school, debonair George and young, buff Brady look like the stereotypical May/December gay partnership. After 20+ years together, theirs is the most stable relationship in the group . . . until suddenly it’s not.

    Joe/Josie-Real estate agent by day, drag queen by night.

    Martha– Witness protection agent assigned to Lizzy’s case, also a former Midwesterner and a sounding board for Lizzy

    Jon & Susan- Jon, age 58, spends his days playing golf and tennis. Leaving plenty of time for Susan, his 57-year-old wife of 20+ years, to develop an unusually close relationship with her friend, Tracy. And Jon wonders why their sex life is non-existent.

    Sean – Fits every stereotype of gay Lizzy knows and is the kindest to her. He spots that she’s lying long before anyone else.

    Ryan- Geoff’s 20-something son who shows up unexpectedly from college with his cat, Max. What’s happened to bring him home is still a mystery. And his tryst with Lizzy on the road trip home causes their “two ships in the night” to pass again, something neither of them planned on.

    CONNECTED CIRCLE

    Raj– Newspaper Man/Uber Driver knows everyone’s secrets

    Bonnie/Barb– Lesbian couple in the HOA

    ENVIRONMENT CIRCLE

    HOA neighbors, seasonal residents, weekend renters in the HOA, celebrities who regularly visit the Palm Springs playground

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 18, 2023 at 1:01 am in reply to: Lesson 1

    Riverdale 5 Star Model

    What I learned doing this assignment is…alluding to character connections without spelling everything out is more fun for the viewer.

    Big Picture Hooks: Was Jason’s death an accident or murder?
    Amazing and Intriguing Character:

    Cheryl Blossom-only one who knows what happened on the boat w/Jason

    Betty-appears innocent and perfect on the surface, but willing to defy her mother

    Jason Blossom – dead, but did something awful before he died to Betty’s sister

    Jughead/Narrator – his connections to the other characters not explained

    Veronica Lodge – new girl at school w/NYC persona that’s very different from others in Riverdale

    Archie Andrews – conflict with father over life path and shared secrets w/teacher Alice Cooper

    Hermoine Lodge- what did her husband really do to be arrested and what did she know?

    Fred Andrews – shared past with Hermoine, not yet revealed

    Empathy / Distress

    Cheryl Blossom- her twin brother died/she’s using his death to get attention/power

    Betty-Likes a boy and it’s not reciprocated/she has to be perfect to be accepted by mom

    Jason Blossom – he died/He hurt Polly

    Jughead/Narrator – he is helping viewer understand the story/He’s been hurt by Archie at some point

    Veronica Lodge – It’s hard being new girl at school/her dad was arrested, yet she stands by him

    Archie Andrews – not living up to parent’s expectations is hard/he’s willing to keep secrets to protect himself

    Hermoine Lodge- she’s experiencing fallout of her husband’s actions/she received delivery of cash, but why?

    Fred Andrews – built a company and wants legacy to continue/he puts his own desires above his son’s interests.

    Layers / Open Loops

    Did Cheryl shoot Jason?

    Who knows what really happened?

    What did Veronica’s father do?

    Will Archie and Ms. Grundy rekindle their fling?

    Will Archie end up w/Betty or Veronica instead?

    Inviting Obsession

    Character relationships are intertwined and those are likely to unravel after Jason’s body is discovered revealing he was shot and the arrests will begin the next day.

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 14, 2023 at 2:30 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hi, I’m Mary Guinane. Here working on my first script. Project began with a friend who has since passed away. We literally started by Googling, “How to write a TV pilot.” While I’ve dabbled in lots of writing, my day job is in fundraising. Self-taught as a freelancer and now an Associate Creative Director for the largest fundraising marketing agency in the world. Calculated a few years ago that I have a fingerprint on about 72 million pieces of mail a year. That doesn’t count digital efforts, so it’s highly likely that you’ve seen my work at some point.

    Looking forward to playing in a new sandbox!

  • Mary Guinane

    Member
    June 14, 2023 at 2:22 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    Mary Guinane

    I agree to the terms of this release form.

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

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