[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Finished Act 4

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going: And that’s a wrap on draft one! I have 101 pages and lots of room for improvement and elevating! Solid beginning and I am really pleased with the basic story. I would love to come up with more threads to weave in some of the key themes I am exploring earlier in the script and I think this next few assignments will help with that.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Continuing Act 4

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going: I am so close to finishing this draft and it feels great. I have nine scenes to write and they are some of the most violent and shocking of the whole story, so I am sure they will be fun to get down on paper.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Started Act 4

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going: I’ve had a lot of productive writing days and very excited to get this draft across the finish line. Not letting the basic dialogue bother me.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Finishing Act 3

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going: I love where the story is going. I have only had to force myself to stop worrying about the words a few times, as quick writing becomes second nature and acceptance of imperfections remains the order of the day. I do have to be mindful but it’s a simple shift of mindset and I’m back to pounding keys.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Continuing Act 3

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going:

I have found myself tweaking scenes as I go at this stage. Mainly because there are some things that don’t feel like they flow and other things that occur as I’m writing that need to be in the scene to fulfill the outline as it is written. So I am sticking very close to the outline, but improving slightly as I go. It doesn’t seem to be slowing me down at all and is clearly a process of the story, revealing itself to me, aided by the outline. I believe this is still in the spirit of fast writing, and all of the rules!

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Began Act 3

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going:

I feel confident that when I sit down to write a certain amount in each session, there is no question that the writing will get done. I can produce a certain amount of writing on demand with no real problems. This is a great place to be as there is no stress when I sit down to work on this draft, I follow the outline, crank out the scenes, and the story continues to unfold. Since I am not worried about deviating from the current outline, I am not troubled by new ideas but I am looking forward to the revision process to make what I have even better.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Completed Act 2

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is/How it’s going:

The writing is going well. I have been able to crank out lots of scenes on demand, probably more than ever before. Looking forward to working on ACT 3 and 4 and even more looking forward to editing future drafts and elevating this story.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Continuing Act 2

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

How it’s going/what I learned…I am trucking along and finding it shockingly easy to embrace imperfection in the pursuit of progress. I am officially at a point that is further than any other script writing I have ever done. I usually get a great idea, write a few scenes and lose momentum. I am very proud of where I am with this draft and excited to continue.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca Began Act 2

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

Beginning the second act was not intimidating at all. The words are flowing and I am not at all expecting perfection so I feel totally free to let the scenes come to me from the outline. The draft is moving forward incrementally and I’m happy with the progress.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Finished Act 1

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…/How it’s going: I have been having lots of life distractions lately that have prevented me from focusing on this project, but because of the nature of this quick writing process and the expectations for the first draft, it has been easy to jump in and out for short periods of time to keep moving forward. I have been pleased at how much the outline informs the writing and helps keep it on track. I never have to struggle to know what to write next. It’s almost like the story telling me what I need to write, which is wonderful.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Next Act One Scenes

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from this assignment/how it’s going: I am not the fastest writer but I am working faster than ever before. When I attempted the five-minute scene, I actually finished in 20 minutes. But…I finished a scene in 20 minutes!

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…? Please tell us how you used the High Speed Writing Rules and any insights you had about writing a first draft.

I’m having a great time writing this and look forward to sitting down to work on it. The rules are helping me to not sweat the details and just see what dialogue and descriptions show up as I ponder the scenes in my outline. I’m not really loving all of the dialogue and there are holes that need to be filled, but not really worried about that since that is part of the process. In some cases, I am just writing things that are kind of silly to amuse myself when I am not sure what is “the perfect thing” for that scene. The best part is the progress made daily. It keeps motivation high and a sense of accomplishment. Keep plugging away.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s High Speed Writing Rules

My Vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned doing this assignment is…

I just enjoy myself writing too much and I end up getting sucked into an almost trance like state at the computer, hyper focused on the story. I believe being mindful of these rules will help me be more productive in the end.

Tell us how it went using the rules.

I thought it was helpful to give myself permission to make a note and come back later to anything that wasn’t flowing in the moment. And also helpful to not feel like my dialogue had to be perfect. Especially since it’s a period piece and the correct vocabulary will need some research.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s First Scene

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…I really do love writing. It felt great to get back to the actual writing of the script after weeks of work on the story, characters and outline.

Tell us how the process went for you. — It was smooth and fun. The writing software is a big help in formatting so I can focus on the content. I had a strong vision of this first scene, so getting it down on paper was not a challenge.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Fascinating Scene Outlines

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…The scenes keep growing and changing as I approach the task differently and it has certainly taken me on a journey that I did not expect.<div>

TITLE: Starting Over

Act 1

1. EXT. FIELD OF CLOVER – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Kids play in a field of clover, with majestic castle ruins in the background, and small cottages in the foreground.

Middle: (Surprise) The children suddenly stop at the sight of emaciated dead bodies in a pile.

End: (Uncomfortable moment) the group begins playing again after a few seconds of hesitation and ignores the sight, continuing with their games and song.

2. INT. SMALL COTTAGE – NIGHT

Beginning: (External dilemma) Norah and Doyle Murphy laugh and pack with her family for their immigration to America. They must leave because of bad conditions.

Middle: (Internal dilemma) Norah will miss her family and doesn’t want to leave.

End: (Intrigue) There is an unspoken but palpable stress surrounding the disappearance of her sister Bridget that makes the parting even more traumatic.

3. EXT. PORT WITH OCEAN GOING BOATS – DAY

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) The family is saying their final goodbyes near the run-down, meager boat.

Middle: (Misinterpretation) Doyle becomes aware that his father in law never wanted them to leave in the first place, but has since come to believe it is the right thing.

End: (Uncertainty) They board for the long journey.

4. INT. ELLIS ISLAND PROCESSING FACILITY – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) The parents are separated in processing at Ellis Island, as Doyle must leave his family and Norah takes the children into a holding room with a host of strange characters.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) The family is counseled to change their name to not be so Irish sounding, to Murston instead of Murphy. They decline.

End: (Intrigue) They board a train bound for grand central, but are unsure of why the people around them seem to be treating them with disdain.

5. INT. GRAND CENTRAL TERMINAL – DAY

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Upon arrival at Grand Central, the family immediately loses track of one of their kids.

Middle: (Surprise) The kid walks up holding the hand of Mick, their old friend from Ireland, who happened to see him wander off from afar and went to grab him.

End: (Suspense) Mick eludes to some issues that they will need to deal with in their new home.

6. EXT. EXITING A COACH ONTO MULBERRY STREET – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Arriving in the Five Points, the stench is unbearable and the new family is appalled at the pitiful sight of poor beggars and street children everywhere.

Middle: (Misinterpretation) The family thinks that Mick’s apartment is theirs, but finds out their apartment is much worse.

End: (Internal dilemma) Norah sees street children and talks with them, especially one that reminds her of her sister Bridget, and is torn because she wants to help them.

7. INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning: (External dilemma) Norah and Doyle are working hard to clean their one-room tiny tenement apartment, but they are so tired.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) The kids are sleeping as they try to prepare themselves to go to bed in the sparse surroundings

End: (Internal dilemma) Doyle slips up and says something he shouldn’t that will worry Norah and he quickly changes the subject and they console each other.

8. INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning: (Superior position) Doyle comes home to find some homeless street children in their apartment and Norah is helping them clean up. He doesn’t want to stop her but knows they barely have enough resources to take care of their own children and makes them leave. We see Norah slipping them some food on the way out the door behind Doyle’s back.

Middle: (Surprise) Norah and the children surprise Doyle at dinner with news of another baby. He is initially happy and then begins to cry.

End: (Cliffhanger) Doyle shares that he has lost his job and will have to find anything he can in order to keep supporting them.

9. INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – DAY

Beginning: (Superior position) We hear the labor pains from outside the apartment, where the men and neighbors are gathered waiting for the baby. We see inside the apartment is Norah labors with women/midwives helping.

Middle: (Surprise) As the baby begins to cry, so do all of the neighbors and they begin to stream in with gifts.

End: (Intrigue) Mick shows up with gifts for the family, but he is gruff and he and Doyle seem to be having words off to the side, which they hide promptly from the gathered friends.

10. INT. DIMLY LIT BAR – NIGHT

Beginning: (Major twist) Doyle and Mick are walking down the street and going to a pub, but Mick pushes him past the main door to a second “secret” door, where they go into a speakeasy that is reserved for specific Irish gangs.

Middle: (Superior position) Doyle is unaware of the extent of the dealing going on behind the scenes with Mick and the gang members, but he does know he is there to be cut into some action.

End: (Reveal) Mick threatens Doyle, when he begins to chicken out and tells him that he will do the jobs presented to him or else. The confrontation turns violent and they fight.

11. EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING – DAY

Beginning: (Major twist) As Norah visits a few nearby friends and relates that she has not seen Doyle in three days, Mick appears in the doorway with a sad face and a police officer and tells her that Doyle has been killed.

Middle: (Mystery) Mick’s story is full of holes and the more questions Norah asks, the more strange it all sounds, but she is convinced that he is gone.

End: (Uncertainty) Neighbors help Norah back to her apartment and help take care of the kids while she sobs and it’s clear that she has no idea what to do.

12. INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Norah is haggard and hunched over and sewing in her dimly lit and now more sparsely furnished apartment as her kids sleep in a pile of rags.

Middle: (Mystery) Her older child is talking in his sleep to his daddy, and asking him why he died and came back.

End: (External dilemma) Two subleasers are in the apartment now, one is coughing violently.

13. INT. GROCERY IN TENEMENT GROUND FLOOR – DAY

Beginning: (Internal dilemma) Mick comes to Norah in the grocery as she is begging for an extension for some food and offers help to Norah but she resists.

Middle: (superior position)He has already paid the bill but Norah doesn’t know but it is clear from his advances that he wants to take the place of Doyle.

End: (uncomfortable moment) Mick is a familiar friend and she has to take his help, she has no choice and allows him to pay her bill. She also allows him to put his arm around her and lead her out.

14. EXT. STREET OUTSIDE TENEMENT – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street begging for food and helping sell fruit for the grocer in the building, along with some of the homeless children they befriended earlier..

Middle: (Misinterpretation) Norah sits in a doorway, wearing her infant daughter who does not look well, and sewing, she is glassy eyed and seems distant.

End: (Misinterpretation) Mick sees them and believes she is not watching the children, berates her for letting her kids beg.

15. INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – DAY

Beginning: (Reveal) Norah wakes the children but their baby is not breathing.

Middle: (Suspense) She runs with the lifeless baby to the street yelling for help.

End: (Major twist) The baby has died of cholera.

Act 2: Better Off

16. INT. BAR IN THE BACK OF GROCERY – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Norah gives her children orders to beg in front of the grocery and goes into the back where there is a run down bar with haggard women.

Middle: (Character changes radically) She begins to drink at the grocery bar, and the amount of whiskey is not small..

End: (Reveal) As she drinks, Mick comes in, gives her a kiss, and pays the tab. The two of them go upstairs and leave the children below with a neighbor.

17. INT. SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY – DAY

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) Mick brings Norah and the children to an agency under the guise of getting them help and runs into one of the people he has roughed up with the gang, who is scared of him and runs away.

Middle: (Betrayal) Rather than getting help, Mick reports to the local charitable group the issues he sees with Norah’s parenting because he says he is worried about her and the children.

End: (Superior position) Norah only hears part of the conversation, she is sent to get clothes and blankets, and sees a glance between the men as they are leaving but she is not sure what it means.

18. INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – DAY

Beginning A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them in squalor and the workers find that she has been drinking.

Middle She resists the call to give them up for adoption.

End She is holding out hope that she will be able to care for them.

19. EXT.. TENAMENT BUILDING – NIGHT

Beginning: (Major twist) The family is in bed and smoke begins to fill the apartment.

Middle: (Suspense) They are trapped and try to crawl through the hallway to get down the stairs but smoke and flames beat them back. They crawl to a neighbor’s apartment with a front window and crawl out the window dropping two stories to be caught.

End: (Cliffhanger) Social service people are there, and Norah is injured and traumatized. They tell her they will take the children until she heals and take care of them. There is a tearful goodbye.

20. INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Norah gets out of bed in Mick’s apartment and she is visibly pregnant. She pours herself a glass of whiskey and begins drinking it before she notices blood running down her legs.

Middle: (Uncertainty) She begins to have contractions and calls for a neighbor before passing out.

End: (Cliffhanger) Neighbors rush in to help her.

21. INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning: (Reveal) She wakes in bed, learns that she lost the baby, takes more whiskey and cries.

Middle: (Betrayal) Norah asks for her children and Mick mocks her, tells her she is crazy for asking for them in the state she is in, that they are better off where they are and she shouldn’t want them to see her this way.

End: (Major twist) Norah tries to kill herself by taking all of the medicine the doctor left her and washing it down with whiskey. She passes out.

22. INT. BAR IN THE BACK OF GROCERY – NIGHT

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) A weak Norah is at the grocery bar and some of her old friends come to her and ask about her children and when she will be getting them back.

Middle: (Reveal) The conversation turns to Mick’s involvement in getting the kids taken and Norah is shocked to learn how much he manipulated the situation behind the scenes.

End: (External dilemma) Norah is visibly upset, admits she doesn’t even know how to get to her kids and Mick said he was checking on them and it was not time yet.

23. INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Norah is in a nightgown, brushing her hair and Mick makes advances on her. He mistakes her passivity for interest.

Middle: (Uncertainty) It appears that Norah is going to lose her temper and lash out at Mick, but then she goes along with him in a numb fashion.

End: (Character changes radically) Norah is numb and dead inside. Even Mick’s cut downs don’t elicit a response.

24. INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Beginning: (Reveal) Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey.

Middle: (More interesting setting) She is drinking heavily and begins to pour through her personal items and throw them around the room.

End: (Superior position) She takes the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot.

25. INT. NEIGHBORHOOD GROCERY – DAY

Beginning: (Intrigue) Norah runs into the adoption agent that has placed her children.

Middle: (Superior position) It was actually her neighbor that orchestrated the meeting.

End: (Intrigue) He offers to meet with Norah at his office and give her information about her kids’ situation.

Act 3: Flown the Coop

26. EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING – DAY

Beginning: (Surprise) Norah goes to her grocery, looking for her little friends and learns they were taken off the street by the same agency.

Middle: (Intrigue) Norah confides in a trusted neighbor her plan to meet with the agent.

End: (Suspense) Mick is around the corner and hears the whole thing. He is mad.

27. INT. SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY – DAY

Beginning: (Superior position) Mick follows Norah to the agency and watches from across the street.

Middle: (Surprise) Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job.

End: (Uncomfortable moment) Upon leaving, Norah is stopped on the street by Mick who asks her what she is doing there. He takes her arm and roughly leads her home.

28. INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning: (External dilemma) Mick is in a drunken rage and he is beating Norah, who is trying to get away from him.

Middle: (Mislead) Norah apologizes, offers him whiskey, swears she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

End: (Cliffhanger) Norah swears she will never leave/betray him, he passes out. She sobs.

29. INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Beginning: (Surprise) Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone.

Middle: (Character changes radically) He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage.

End: (Cliffhanger) Mick hurries out of the apartment, presumably trying to go after her.

30. EXT. BOARDING TRAIN PLATFORM – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Norah is in a bustling train station with loads of kids and adoption workers seeming lost in the chaos.

Middle: (Surprise) Norah’s little friends from the grocery are there and boarding the train.

End: (Uncertainty) Norah asks if she can watch over them and they are transferred into her small group for the journey.

31. INT. TRAIN CAR – NIGHT

Beginning: (More interesting setting) In the train car, Norah tucks in the children for an overnight journey and sings a song she had sung to her children.

Middle: (Mystery) Her little friends cannot sleep and begin asking Norah questions about Ireland, her sister and her kids.

End: (Reveal) Norah realizes that she has some clues about what happened to her sister that she has never quite understood until now.

32. INT. COMMUNITY HALL – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Standing in a community center, the children are lined up and the adoption agent introduces them with some fanfare to the gathered families.

Middle: (Uncertainty) A family talks with Norah’s little friends and decides they can adopt one of the two siblings.

End: (Cliffhanger) The older brother says goodbye to his sister and stays strong.

33. EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Beginning: (External dilemma) Norah helps a few older kids back on the train, one is distraught after a younger sibling was adopted and he wasn’t.

Middle: (Intrigue) Norah tells him more about her sister and how they realized they would always be connected even if they were never together physically again.

End: (Mystery) Norah admits that she knows she will see her sister again someday.

34. INT. TRAIN CAR – NIGHT

Beginning: (More interesting setting) In a car of sleeping children, the adoption agent comes to Norah to fill her in on what is to happen the next day.

Middle: (Reveal) Adoption agent reveals that he knows Norah’s family from Ireland and knows about her sister’s disappearance.

End: (Major twist) He tells Norah that he believes the mother that adopted her children is her sister, but he is not fully sure because so many years have gone by.

Act 4: Revenge and Fear

35. EXT. VALLE HOME – DAY

Beginning: (Suspense) Norah and company are in a carriage approaching the Valle house, with several figures in the distance waving.

Middle: (Reveal) Norah’s sister Bridget recognizes her right away, and they are reunited. Bridget reveals that she knew the kids were Norah’s and had requested them when the adoption was offered, and that she has been following news of their arrival in America, but couldn’t come to her because of danger/hiding.

End: (Mystery) Bridget cannot explain everything, as the kids bust out of the house and are reunited with their mother at last.

36. EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING – DAY

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Mick is terrorizing the tenement neighbors, going door to door looking for Norah’s friend.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Mick finds her just arriving back at her apartment on his second trip there, and forces his way in.

End: (Betrayal) Her friend is beaten by Mick and eventually gives up that she has gone after the children. Mick strikes a final blow, killing her.

37. EXT. VALLE HOME YARD – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) In an idyllic sunny morning, the children are playing with Norah watching.

Middle: (Major twist) She sends them inside to wash up for dinner and begins working on laundry when she is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn.

End: (External dilemma) Norah kicks and fights as she is taken into the barn.

38. INT. BARN – DAY

Beginning: (External dilemma) In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. Norah fights and claws with every fiber of her being.

Middle: (Reveal) The subdued Norah is restrained and she is dragged into the light. Her attacker is Doyle.

End: (Character changes radically) Doyle is a different man and tells Norah he has no choice but to give her back to Mick. He is obviously panicked and tells her his story.

39. EXT. OUTSIDE BARN – DAY

Beginning: (Major twist) Mick arrives to take Norah back to New York.

Middle: (Character changes radically) Mick is soft and gentle when he sees Norah, and attempts to embrace her even though she is still restrained.

End: (Internal dilemma) Doyle does not want to hand her over, but Mick is obviously in charge and snaps at him until he relents.

40. EXT. BOARDING A HORSE CART – DAY

Beginning: (Misinterpretation) The disillusioned Mick still believes that Norah will go back with him and believes that he has won the battle, she is too weak to fight back.

Middle: (Superior position) Norah has loosened her hand and has a knife that was hidden in her apron pocket.

End: (Major twist) He tries to take Norah into the cart, but she fights back with a hidden knife and kills him.

41. EXT. BARN – DAY

Beginning: Norah turns to Doyle and accuses him of betraying her.

Middle: Doyle feebly defends his actions, saying he was protecting her. And saying he didn’t want what happened to Bridget to happen to her.

End: (Superior position) Norah realizes that Doyle is a completely fallen man and pathetic in every way. He thought that Bridget had been killed, and had no idea that she was still alive and in hiding. He has been totally played.

42. EXT. BARNYARD CORNER – DAY

Beginning: (Surprise) The family runs into the barnyard, with Bridget in the lead. Doyle is shocked to see her alive.

Middle: (Major twist) Bridget explains that she was abused and kidnapped by Mick after nearly drowning in the river and he took her by force to America. It took her many years to finally break free of his control and leave New York to hide away from him. She never contacted her family because she knew he would come after them.

End: (Reveal) The kids come into the barnyard and run to their mom and hug her, then turn and are not surprised at all to see Doyle. He has been visiting them regularly in secret.

43. EXT. VALLE HOME – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) The police arrive after being summoned by a neighbor who heard the screams.

Middle: (Reveal) The police tell the group that they have been looking for Doyle for many crimes and his link to illegal gangs in New York.

End: (Uncertainty) Doyle is led away in handcuffs and will most likely spend years in jail.

44. EXT. YARD – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) The adoption agent is visiting the family in the yard, the setting is perfect, a gorgeous fall day.

Middle: (Reveal) He sips tea with the family, telling them how Norah’s little friends were reunited and adopted into a home together nearby and they would like to visit.

End: The kids run through the field laughing and singing with Norah by their side, they run over a hill, similar to the first scene in the movie, but this time there is a cloud of white butterflies that fly past them from below in the valley, signaling hope for the future.

</div>

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Scene Requirements

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…It’s hard to cut out information once I put it in, hence the long outline and long time it took to do this assignment!<div>

NEW TITLE: Starting Over

Act 1

EXT. FIELD OF CLOVER – DAY

Kids play in a field of clover, suddenly stopping at the sight of emaciated dead bodies in a pile; the group begins playing again after a few seconds of hesitation and ignores the sight, continuing with their games and song.

Essence: Showing the death and how pervasive it is.

Conflict: Starvation is everywhere and life is hopeless.

Subtext: Families cannot survive here.

Hope/fear: We hope these kids will not starve. We fear they will.

INT. SMALL COTTAGE – NIGHT

Norah and Doyle Murphy laugh and pack with her family for their immigration to America.

Essence: Norah and Doyle are leaving a loving family in search of a better life.

Conflict: Saying goodbye is hard.

Subtext: They don’t want to leave their family but they must try to find a better life.

Hope/fear: We hope that they are doing the right thing. We fear for the hardships ahead.

EXT. PORT WITH OCEAN GOING BOATS – DAY

The family is saying their final goodbyes near the run-down, meager boat and then they board for the long journey.

Essence: The love within their family is strong and they are brave to do this.

Conflict: The journey is going to be really hard for all of them.

Subtext: There is an ominous sense of misfortune beginning to overshadow them.

Hope/fear: We hope they will survive this journey. We fear that it will be miserable.

INT. ELLIS ISLAND PROCESSING FACILITY – DAY

They have all lost weight and are dirty and covered in bites, bruises and blisters, with torn, dirty clothing and sunken eyes. They are glad to finally be on land, but they are confused, tired and at their limit. The chaos is shocking to them as they try to navigate with two small children.

Essence: The family has survived a horrible ordeal.

Conflict: The chaos and suffering is starting to mount.

Subtext: Will they find relief in America or more suffering?

Hope/fear: We hope that they find rest, shelter and food. We fear that things are just starting to get hard for them.

INT. GRAND CENTRAL TERMINAL – DAY

The family has arrived at Grand Central struggling with bags and kids as they make their way through the crowded station. Their friend Mick is a sight for sore eyes and they tear up when they see a familiar face.

Essence: Norah and Doyle have finally made it to a friendly, familiar face and are closer to their new beginning.

Conflict: It all seems overwhelming.

Subtext: They cannot do this alone.

Hope/fear: We hope things will take a turn for the better. We fear what comes next.

EXT. EXITING A COACH ONTO MULBERRY STREET – DAY

Arriving in the Five Points, the stench is unbearable and the new family is appalled at the pitiful sight of poor beggars and street children everywhere. When they exit the carriage, they are immediately embraced by friends from Ireland who have been waiting for them.

Essence: This is going to be their new home. It is nothing like where they came from.

Conflict: There is obvious poverty, crime and depravity all around.

Subtext: This is not an easy place to raise a family.

Hope/fear: We hope they can build a life here. We fear they will go the way of the people on the street.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – NIGHT

Later that evening, Norah and Doyle are working hard to clean their one-room tiny tenement apartment, but they are so tired. The kids are sleeping as they try to prepare themselves to go to bed in the sparse surroundings and console each other.

Essence: This is just the pit of poverty and there are few comforts.

Conflict: They don’t know how they will continue to go on suffering this way.

Subtext: The sunny and optimistic side of them is cracking, as they try to keep it together.

Hope/fear: We hope things will get better. We fear they will not find work or food.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – NIGHT

Some time has passed, and the apartment is a bit more lived in. It’s after dinner when Doyle gets home covered in grime from his factory job. They begin to argue but reign it in, when Norah shares that she is expecting. And they go to bed with a million thoughts.

Essence: It is really hard to make a living and feed a family and it is taxing them all.

Conflict: The strain of poverty is starting to tear them apart with stress and worry.

Subtext: Their relationship is suffering and how will they care for another child.

Hope/fear: We hope they will get along. We fear they will continue to grow apart.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – DAY

A baby girl is born. Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors celebrate the birth of this new child and also share their plight. Mick brings them food and whiskey, giving Doyle a pat on the back that is a bit too rough and unsettling.

Essence: The scene shows hope for the future and the importance of community.

Conflict: There is a brewing tension between Doyle and Mick that we don’t understand.

Subtext: There is joy amidst the pain of this life.

Hope/fear: We hope the baby will thrive. We fear that things will get harder for all.

INT. DIMLY LIT BAR – NIGHT

A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. We are seeing a dark side of their relationship and the realization that things have gone wrong.

Essence: Mick and Doyle are not as good of friends as we thought.

Conflict: The former friends are becoming enemies.

Subtext: There is a lot of baggage in this relationship that we do not yet know.

Hope/fear: We hope they don’t hurt each other. We fear this will escalate.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING – DAY

Norah is asking around to see if neighbors have seen her husband. Mick comes to Norah and tells her that Doyle has been killed at the factory.

Essence: This is a horrible tragedy and we see Norah’s heart broken in the most painful and gut-wrenching way.

Conflict: Norah must find a job and find help with the children.

Subtext: How will she survive without her family in a strange new world?

Hope/fear: We hope the family can survive. We are truly afraid they will starve or worse.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – NIGHT

We see Norah hunched over and sewing in her dimly lit and now more sparsely furnished apartment as her kids sleep in the same pile of rags. Her older child is talking in his sleep to his daddy, and asking him why he died and came back. Two subleasers are in the apartment now, one is coughing violently.

Essence: Norah is working herself ragged trying to support herself and the kids.

Conflict: She is wearing herself out.

Subtext: How long can she keep this up? And what is the mysterious mumbling about?

Hope/fear: We hope Norah can survive this but fear she will succumb to the pressures.

INT. GROCERY IN TENEMENT GROUND FLOOR – DAY

Mick comes to Norah in the grocery as she is begging for an extension for some food and offers help to Norah but it is clear from his advances that he wants to take the place of Doyle. Mick is a familiar friend and she has to take his help, she has no choice and allows him to pay her bill.

Essence: Norah is desperate and Mick is willing to help her.

Conflict: Norah is resistant because she does not want him to try to replace Doyle.

Subtext: Mick is offering help but there are strings attached.

Hope/fear: We hope Mick will continue to help her and fear that his price is high.

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE TENEMENT – DAY

Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street begging for food and helping sell fruit for the grocer in the building. Norah sits in a doorway, wearing her infant daughter who does not look well, and sewing. Mick sees them and berates her for letting her kids beg.

Essence: The pitiful sight of the children begging means they have fully been transformed by the situation in America.

Conflict: The family is living hand-to-mouth and it’s a daily fight for survival.

Subtext: How long can they survive like this?

Hope/fear: We fear that the kids will not survive and we hope they can find another way.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – DAY

Norah wakes the children but their baby is not breathing. loses her infant daughter to cholera.

Essence: The death of the baby is an agonizing blow that defeats Norah emotionally.

Conflict: The light has gone from her eyes. She is walking in pain and can barely cope.

Subtext: Norah is numb after the death of Doyle and her daughter.

Hope/fear: We hope she can overcome this but fear that she will sink into a deep depression.

Act 2: Better Off

INT. BAR IN THE BACK OF GROCERY – DAY

She begins to drink at the grocery in their building. As she drinks, Mick comes in to pay the tab and buy her some groceries.

Essence: Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated.

Conflict: They are starving and freezing.

Subtext: Mick’s gifts always come with whiskey and romantic advances.

Hope/fear: We hope Norah will be strong enough to stop drinking but fear she will spiral.

INT. SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY – DAY

Mick finally intervenes and reports her to a local charitable group because he says he is worried about her and the children. We see Mick go to them, but Norah doesn’t know it was him.

Essence: Mick is losing patience with Norah’s independence and tells her that she is selfish for keeping her children in such squalor.

Conflict: Mick believes they are killing themselves needlessly since she could just listen to him and take his help.

Subtext: Mick gaslights her into believing that she is making them suffer when they could have a perfectly good life elsewhere.

Hope/fear: We fear that Mick is dark and controlling and hope Norah survives.

INT. TENEMENT APARTMENT – DAY

A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them in squalor and the workers find that she has been drinking. She resists the call to give them up for adoption. She is holding out hope that she will be able to care for them.

Essence: Norah is confronted about her drinking and caring for the children.

Conflict: This is the first time Norah is forced to see how far she has fallen and deal with judgment.

Subtext: Norah is losing control.

Hope/fear: We hope she will have a wake up call and get it together but fear she will lose the kids.

INT. SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY – DAY

Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go. The separation is agonizing. Mick is supportive to Norah’s face and condescending to her when speaking with the workers behind her back, playing both sides.

Essence: Norah surrenders her children and is visibly manipulated by Mick.

Conflict: The agony of letting the kids go is devastating to Norah.

Subtext: This could be the end of her dream and she may not recover.

Hope/fear: We are so afraid for the kids, what will happen to them? And for Norah who is bound to spiral deeper into despair.

INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Mick, without her children, She is visibly pregnant and miscarries. Mourning her husband and missing her children. She feels like a failure and attempts suicide.

Essence: Norah is living as a captive, addicted to alcohol and loses a pregnancy.

Conflict: We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Mick to lorde over her.

Subtext: She increasingly hits the bottle and submits to Mick’s will in exchange for his shelter and food.

Hope/fear: Hopefully we won’t all abandon Norah in disgust, but will look at her and think about all of the times we have been weak and allowed people to take advantage of us.

INT. BAR IN THE BACK OF GROCERY – NIGHT

A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick.

Essence: She is bitter, angry and — she stays and goes along with it.

Conflict: She has been fooled, manipulated and lied to.

Subtext: She did not need to let the children go. It is Mick that wanted this.

Hope/fear: This is unbelievable for the audience who wants her to fight for her kids.

INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Even when they lose their first child, Mick is hopeful that they will have more. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough.

Essence: Mick has made Norah his own. They are a couple. He has her to himself.

Conflict: He is oblivious to her pain and sees her only as an accessory he needs to control.

Subtext: He feels like he is winning.

Hope/fear: We hope she will get away from him.

INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot.

Essence: She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is.

Conflict: She has lost her last memento that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children.

Subtext: She becomes convicted that she will do something.

Hope/fear: We hope this lights a fire in her and reminds her of what used to be. Norah will find them if it’s the last thing she does.

INT. SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY – DAY

Norah finally meets the adoption agent who knows about her children.

Essence: Norah finally starts to wake up to Mick’s true character, but it is agonizingly slow.

Conflict: A chance to do something.

Subtext: She is so close to figuring this out.

Hope/fear: We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good. We can be gratified to see him connecting with Norah. We know he will care and do whatever he can to help.

Act 3: Flown the Coop

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING – DAY

Norah talks with a trusted neighbor and hatches a plan.

Essence: Norah will leave Mick and attempt to join her kids.

Conflict: Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents but still she wants to reunite with them.

Subtext: She cannot support the kids.

Hope/fear: We are hopeful she can break away and find them.

EXT. PARK BENCH – DAY

Another meeting with the Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job.

Essence: This is the news she has been hoping for.

Conflict: While she would wish she could take the kids and raise them, she knows this is not possible and joining them is actually the best thing for all of them.

Subtext: This is too good to be true.

Hope/fear: The first time we have felt hope in a while in this story. It should be celebrated.

INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Mick saw her with the adoption agent and threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage. Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out. Essence: Norah sinks into submission – she dares not cross Michael for fear for her safety and the kids.

Conflict: He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives.

Subtext: She is at a new low and has no idea what to do.

Hope/fear: This is the point where we get a little angry with Norah, our heroine. How could she know who Michael is and STILL allow him to control and manipulate her? We are disgusted by her weakness, but it rings true with the human condition.

INT. MICK’S APARTMENT – DAY

Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage.

Essence: She decided to leave Mick in secret and go to the home of the children/new family and become their Nanny.

Conflict: We see Mick transform into a rage monster.

Subtext: How will she do it? Will it work? Will she get caught?

Hope/fear: We are a little scared for her, but so proud of her bravery.

EXT. BOARDING TRAIN PLATFORM – DAY

She is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted.

Essence: they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children.

Conflict: We don’t know if this will work out.

Subtext: Norah rediscovers her purpose.

Hope/fear: We hope she is reunited with the children safely.

INT. TRAIN CAR – NIGHT

She helps the children at two stops of the train before getting to the town where her children have been adopted.

Essence: Norah helps orphan children,

Conflict: She is worried and riddled with doubt about her situation and worried for these orphan kids.

Subtext: rediscovering her motherhood instincts

Hope/fear: We care about the orphan kids and hope they find homes as we fear for Norah’s success in finding her kids.

INT. COMMUNITY HALL – DAY

Children are being introduced to prospective adoptive families and Norah is helping with a pair of toddlers.

Essence: This is the process these kids go through to find a home.

Conflict: Norah is coming face to face with what happened to her kids.

Subtext: This is a strange system but the best these kids can hope for.

Hope/fear: We hope the kids are adopted by loving families and feel mounting suspense for the reunion.

EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Norah helps a few older kids back on the train, one is distraught after a younger sibling was adopted and he wasn’t.

Essence: Norah is back to her old self, helping others and thinking of them first.

Conflict: The kids are going through an ordeal and Norah is there for them.

Subtext: She has fully broken free of her addiction and is now present to help others.

Hope/fear: We are hopeful as we see the old Norah return but with an improved confidence and renewed purpose.

INT. TRAIN CAR – NIGHT

Norah soothes the youngest kids to sleep as the train rolls on. She sings a song that she used to sing to her children as she cries softly and looks out the window.

Essence: Norah is getting closer to her kids and she can feel it.

Conflict: The sense of longing is palpable.

Subtext: Anticipation is great.

Hope/fear: We are fully invested in this reunion.

Act 4: Revenge and Fear

EXT. VALLE HOME – DAY

Norah is reunited with her children.

Essence: They offer Norah a live-in position as a domestic servant where she can live in the house with the children.

Conflict: Great joy and happiness, but we still are uneasy with the knowledge the Mick is raging.

Subtext: It seems like the happy ending we wanted.

Hope/fear: We hope this is the happy ending.

EXT. TENEMENT BUILDING – DAY

He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah. When he finds her friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her.

Essence: Mick has gone off the deep end.

Conflict: Mick is a violent and dangerous man.

Subtext: It’s brutal and scary.

Hope/fear: We fear for Norah and the children.

EXT. VALLE HOME YARD – DAY

Children are playing with Norah watching. She sends them inside to wash up for dinner and begins working on laundry when she is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant.

Essence: An attack shows that Norah was not safe after all.

Conflict: Who is this attacker? We assume it is Mick.

Subtext: Oh shit.

Hope/fear: Will she be killed?

INT. BARN – DAY

In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. Norah fights and claws with every fiber of her being. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up. Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is dragged into the light. Her attacker is Doyle. She explodes in disbelief, anger, fear, confusion.

Essence: Norah fights back.

Conflict: Doyle has attacked her and he is not dead.

Subtext: She has been betrayed.

Hope/fear: We are just generally confused and angry.

EXT. OUTSIDE BARN – DAY

Mick arrives to take Norah back to New York. He has returned to find her and bring her back to Mick. he disappeared with the help of Mick and has left his family to suffer at the hands of Mick the whole time. Mick was helping him escape the men who were trying to kill him. But Mick was the reason he was in the mess in the first place.

Essence: We find out that Doyle is alive and he was the reason that she was “given” to Mick.

Conflict: Doyle initially left because of wanting to protect his family but in reality he was relieved to get out of the tenement and his horrible job and turned to a life of crime on the run, a complete change of character brought about by the harsh reality of life in the Five Points.

Subtext: Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start,

Hope/fear: We hope that Norah can win against these two men who have victimized her.

EXT. BOARDING A HORSE CART – DAY

The disillusioned Mick still believes that Norah will go back with him and believes that he has won the battle, she is too weak to fight back. He tries to take Norah into the cart, but she fights back with a hidden knife and kills him.

Essence: Norah is the victor over Mick.

Conflict: When Mick tries to hurt her and return her to the old life, she finds strength to fight.

Subtext: Norah is strong and no longer a victim.

Hope/fear: We are proud of Norah and worried about the situation with Doyle.

EXT. BARN – DAY

With Mick’s blood on her hands, Norah turns to her betrayer, Doyle. She is having a complete fit of rage. She lunges at Doyle and cuts off his ear.

Essence: Norah is transformed into a warrior.

Conflict: Norah fights back.

Subtext: Norah is strong.

Hope/fear: We hope Doyle suffers.

EXT. BARNYARD CORNER

Doyle is backed into a corner. She screams at him and physically pounds at him with her fists. He cries out in sorrow and tells her he is also sorry for her sister. He confesses that he knows what happened to her sister and that Mick caused her accident and the lied. She drowned and they never told anyone. He cries and screams.

Essence: Norah unleashes her anger and frustration on Doyle.

Conflict: Doyle has has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for his moment.

Subtext: Our image of him is shattered. From a strong and loving husband, to a weak and pathetic loser.

Hope/fear:We are shocked to see him again because we thought she had lost him.

EXT. BARN – DAY

The family runs to the barn. They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid. The husband subdues Doyle and summons the police.

Essence: She acted in self defense.

Conflict: Police are carting away Doyle and telling the group that he is a wanted man.

Subtext: The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family.

Hope/fear: We hope this is the end of drama.

EXT. YARD – DAY

The adoption agent is visiting the family in the yard. He sips tea with the family as the kids run through emerald fields laughing and singing with Norah by their side.

Essence: This is the happy ending.

Conflict: Norah has won and regained herself and her family.

Subtext: Happiness, joy and a belief that all of our trials can end in triumph.

Hope/fear: Happy ending.
</div>

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Intriguing Moments

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…I have plenty of intrigue built into my script but it is good to call it out to make sure it is set up and paid off correctly.

Torn Away

Act 1:

Mystery – An unsolved disappearance is alluded to…What happened to Norah’s sister?

Hidden Identity/Superior Position – We know that Mick is manipulative and abusive but everyone else sees him as a charming and friendly person.

Secret – Doyle has ulterior motives for coming to the United States but Norah is unaware of that.

Intrigue – We sense jealousy and a deeper undercurrent between Mick and Norah/Doyle, especially at the birth of their baby. Is he jealous? Why?

Act 2:

Covert Agenda MICK1 – Mick is hiding his resources and offering Norah only enough help to keep her from starving to death, but his ultimate hidden goal is getting her children removed from her home so that he won’t have to deal with them.

Covert Agenda MICK2 – Mick eventually takes matters into his own hands and reports Norah to the social service agencies behind her back.

Superior Position – We see both Mick and Norah taking actions that the other one does not know about.

Covert Agenda NORAH – Norah works to be reunited with her kids behind Mick’s back after she has had enough of his abuse.

Act 3:

Scheme – Norah hatches a plan along with the adoption agency to travel by Orphan Train and be reunited with her children.

Intrigue – We do not know how Mick will react to her leaving and we see him go off the deep end in a fit of rage. Will he let her go or is she still in danger?

Superior Position – We see Norah leave and know what she is up to while Mick is unaware and searching for her.

Act 4:

Hidden Identity – We do not see who the assailant is that grabs Norah and drags her away, until his identity is revealed in the light.

Covert Agenda – We learn that Doyle has had a completely hidden agenda for the whole movie.

Conspiracy – We learn that Doyle and Mick have been working together and are involved in a life of crime.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Emotional Moments

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…Sometimes the emotions that the audience should feel are the same as the characters on the screen and sometimes they are not. Good to focus on this in the outline.<div>

Torn Away

Act 1

Excitement – Empathy/Character Intro Protagonist, Norah Murphy – An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America.

Excitement – PJ1 Norah – Arrival at port; beginning journey to America.

Uneasiness – Wretched arrival in NYC/Ellis Island. Chaos; the family is worn and emaciated from a hard journey; expectations are shattered.

Relief – Mick meets them at the gate. Empathy/Character Intro, Antagonist, Mick Kilcullen

Distress – PJ2 – Settling in a new land. Arriving in the Five Points, the stench is unbearable and the new family is appalled at the pitiful sight of poor beggars and street children everywhere.

Pity – We see the adoption agents working on the street with poor children.

Empathy – Arrival at the apartment. They are saddened by the bare room with dirt everywhere, but neighbors continue to pour in with offerings of a bit of food or a shawl or blanket to welcome them and it warms their hearts.

Joy – A baby girl is born. PJ3 – Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors celebrate the birth of this new child and also share their plight.

Shock – AJ2 – Turning Point: A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who beat him and leave him for dead.

Sadness – PJ4 – Inciting Incident – Mick comes to Norah and tells her that Doyle is “killed at the factory.”

Sadness – PJ5 – Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street and try to earn money to help the family – they are seven and four years old.

Anger – Mick does not approve and tells her that her kids should be sent away for a better life.

Fear – One of the subleasers comes down with a horrible cough. The sickness spreads.

Despair – PJ6 – Turning Point: Norah loses her infant daughter to cholera.

Act 2

Worry – PJ1 – Starving and Freezing – Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated in New York’s brutal winter.

Anger – Mick treats the children horribly and is possessive over Norah.

Anger – Mick forces himself on Norah. He makes it clear that he is not looking to get married. Norah doesn’t dare make a sound or stop him because the children are nearby and she doesn’t want them to be hurt or know.

Worry – She begins to drink at the grocery in their building. At first it’s just a drink or two.

Anger/Worry – AJ1 – Killing Themselves – Mick is losing patience with Norah’s insistence on keeping the children and tells her that she is selfish for keeping her children. Norah drinks some more and cries.

Frustration – Mick is shown to be withholding his money from providing food and clothing to the kids, but Norah is unaware of how much money he is not sharing and how much he spends at the saloon.

Outrage – AJ2 – Taken In – as the children beg, Mick has had enough. He takes them to the local foundation and tells the workers they need to be adopted.

Outrage/Frustration – He tells Norah the kids were taken off the street. She doesn’t know he was involved.

Impossible choice – PJ3 – Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go.

Despair – Norah brings the children to the charity and surrenders them. The separation is agonizing.

Sadness – She gets pregnant and miscarries.

Hope – Midpoint: A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick.

Desire for justice – AJ3: Mick has made Norah his own. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough.

Betrayal/hope – PJ4/Turning Point 2 – A Spark Moment – Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is. She has lost her last memento that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot.

Hope/pride – PJ5 – Plan in action – Norah secretly meets the adoption agent who knows about her children. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good.

Pride/excitement – PJ6 – Norah talks with a trusted neighbor and hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents.

Anger – Mick follows Norah to the adoption agency and finds out Norah has been plotting. When she arrives at their apartment, he threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage.

Disbelief – PJ8 – Placated again – Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out.

Act 3

Fear – AJ1 Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage.

Excitement/hope – Norah is at the adoption agency and talking with children as she waits to meet her contacts. It is bittersweet.

Gladness – PJ1 – Orphan Train – Norah is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted, they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children.

Love/joy – Turning Point 3: Norah is reunited with her children.

Fear – AJ2 – Mick has gone off the deep end. He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah.

When Mick finds her friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her.

Act 4

Shock/surprise – Act 4 Major Shift: Norah is working in the yard alone and is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant.

Shock/surprise – PJ1 – Climax – Norah fights back. In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up. Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is dragged into the light. Her attacker is Doyle.

Outrage – AJ1 – Mick arrives in a carriage to take Norah back to New York.

Disgust – The men discuss the exchange. We find out that Doyle was the reason that she was “given” to Mick. He has returned to find her and bring her back to Mick.

Shock/relief – AJ2 – The disillusioned Mick still believes that Norah will go back with him and believes that he has won the battle, she is too weak to fight back. He tries to take Norah into the carriage, but she is able to push him onto a pitchfork and kills him

Revenge – PJ2 – With Mick’s blood on her hands, Norah turns to her betrayer, Doyle. She is having a complete fit of rage. She lunges at Doyle with a shovel badly injuring him.

Anger/pity – AJ3 – Doyle is backed into a corner. He admits that he has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for his moment.

Shock/surprise – He cries out in sorrow and tells her he is also sorry for her sister. He confesses that he knows what happened to her sister and that Mick caused her accident and lied. She drowned and they never told anyone.

Relief – PJ3 – The family runs to the barn. They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid.

Safety/love – The husband subdues Doyle and summons the police.

Joy – The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family.

Joy/pride/love – Final scene – The adoption agent is visiting the family in the yard. He sips tea with the family as the kids run through emerald fields laughing and singing.

</div>

[Melissa Barreca]

Hi everyone! I am Melissa Barreca. I am currently in the Writing Incredible Movies class and working on several feature length screenplays and two TV pilots. None are done to my satisfaction! I am committed to finishing these scripts in the midst of a busy PR career and raising my kids. If I can transition to writing scripts for pay, I can leave this PR world behind, where I have been “writing for hire” for 20 years in the corporate world.

Something strange about me, which I don’t think is really that strange but so many people have a strong reaction…I love tent camping. It’s not even glamping. Just straight up sleeping bag, tent and a big ole campfire.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Reveals!

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…I wonder if there is such a thing as too many layers? I don’t want to totally confuse the audience with all of these competing motivations. But the story layers and reveals are interesting and helping tremendously to strategically build the story to be logical and emotional.

Torn Away — Beat Sheet, with Reveals

Genre: Drama

Act 1: Coming to America…a dream quickly becomes a nightmare.

Foreshadowing: Clover Field, Kids playing, Singing, Suddenly stopping at the sight of dead, emaciated bodies on the edge of the field…NORAH WOUND SET UP

Empathy/Character Intro Protagonist, Norah Murphy – An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. NORAH ABILITIES SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

PJ1 Norah – Arrival at port; beginning journey to America. NORAH ABILITIES SET UP NORAH WOUND SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

Wretched arrival in NYC/Ellis Island. Chaos; the family is worn and emaciated from a hard journey; expectations are shattered. NORAH ABILITIES SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

Mick meets them at the gate. Empathy/Character Intro, Antagonist, Mick Kilcullen; MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD NORAH WOUND SET UP MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP MICK WOUND SET UP

PJ2 – Settling in a new land. Arriving in the Five Points, the stench is unbearable and the new family is appalled at the pitiful sight of poor beggars and street children everywhere. NORAH ABILITIES SET UP MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP/ MICK OCD / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

Meet key neighbors/introduce supporting characters. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

We see the adoption agents working on the street with poor children. NORAH WOUND SET UP MICK WOUND SET UP

Arrival at the apartment. They are saddened by the bare room with dirt everywhere, but neighbors continue to pour in with offerings of a bit of food or a shawl or blanket to welcome them and it warms their hearts. NORAH ABILITIES SET UP MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD NORAH WOUND SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP MICK WOUND SET UP

Tenement Life…Doyle arrives home after dark, covered in dirt and pitifully exhausted. They discuss bringing in subleases to help pay the rent, but Doyle is against it. DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

A baby girl is born. PJ3 – Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors celebrate the birth of this new child and also share their plight. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP NORAH WOUND SET UP MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP MICK WOUND SET UP

AJ2 – Turning Point: A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who beat him and leave him for dead. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP MICK WOUND REVEAL

PJ4 – Inciting Incident – Mick comes to Norah and tells her that Doyle is “killed at the factory.” NORAH ABILITIES SET UP MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

He immediately tries to make advances on Norah, which is totally inappropriate and she tells him so. MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP MICK WOUND PAYOFF

We see Norah working as a garment maker in her home and it is brutal and low paid labor. Her older child is talking in his sleep to his daddy, and asking him why he died and came back. NORAH WOUND REVEAL NORAH BROKEN/MOURNING/TRAPPED/DEPRESSED DOYLE CUNNING/SECRETIVE/EVIL

AJ3 – Mick comes to her aid. Mick offers help to Norah but it is clear from his advances that he wants to take the place of Doyle. He is overbearing and gruff and impatient with her efforts at independence. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD /MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP MICK WOUND PAYOFF

Neighbors come to the aid of the family as they are able but it is hard times for all. M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

Mick does not approve and tells her that her kids should be sent away for a better life. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD /MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP MICK WOUND PAYOFF

One of the subleasers comes down with a horrible cough. The sickness spreads. NORAH WOUND SET UP

PJ6 – Turning Point: Norah loses her infant daughter to cholera. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD NORAH WOUND SET UP MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP

Act 2: Better Off

PJ1 – Starving and Freezing – Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated in New York’s brutal winter. They have begun to burn some furniture and old clothing for heat. But his gifts always come with whiskey and romantic advances. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK WOUND PAYOFF

Mick treats the children horribly and is possessive over Norah. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP / MICK WOUND PAYOFF

Mick forces himself on Norah. He makes it clear that he is not looking to get married. Norah doesn’t dare make a sound or stop him because the children are nearby and she doesn’t want them to be hurt or know. MICK OCD DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP MICK WOUND PAYOFF

She begins to drink at the grocery in their building. At first it’s just a drink or two. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF MICK WOUND PAYOFF

AJ1 – Killing Themselves – Mick is losing patience with Norah’s insistence on keeping the children and tells her that she is selfish for keeping her children and he gaslights her into believing that she is choosing to make them suffer when they could have a perfectly good life elsewhere. Norah drinks some more and cries. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

Mick reports the kids to a local charitable group because he says he is worried about them. We see Mick call them, but Norah doesn’t know it was him. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK OCD /MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP

PJ2 – A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them when the workers find that she has been drinking. She resists the call to give them up for adoption. MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

Mick is shown to be withholding his money from providing food and clothing to the kids, but Norah is unaware of how much money he is not sharing and how much he spends at the saloon. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF MICK TRUE NATURE SET UP / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP

AJ2 – Taken In – as the children beg, Mick has had enough. He takes them to the local foundation and tells the workers they need to be adopted. MICK TRUE NATURE REVEAL / MICK OCD / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

He tells Norah the kids were taken off the street. She doesn’t know he was involved. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF NORAH WOUND SET UP MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

PJ3 – Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go. MICK OCD /MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP

Norah brings the children to the charity and surrenders them. The separation is agonizing. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF NORAH WOUND SET UP MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

PJ4 – Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Mick, without her children, she increasingly hits the bottle and submits to Mick’s will in exchange for his shelter and food. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF / MICK OCD /MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP

She gets pregnant and miscarries. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

Midpoint: A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick. NORAH WOUND SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

AJ3: Mick has made Norah his own. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough. MICK OCD / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

PJ4/Turning Point 2 – A Spark Moment – Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF / M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

PJ5 – Plan in action – Norah secretly meets the adoption agent who knows about her children. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good. NORAH ABILITIES

PJ6 – Norah talks with a trusted neighbor and hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents. NORAH ABILITIES DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

Adoption agents contact parents who adopted Norah’s children to discuss reuniting them. M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

PJ7 – Another meeting with the Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job. This seems too good to be true. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF

AJ4 – Rage – Mick follows Norah to the adoption agency and finds out Norah has been plotting. When she arrives at their apartment, he threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives. MICK TRUE NATURE / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

PJ8 – Placated again – Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out. NORAH WOUND SET UP

Act 3: Flown the Coop

AJ1 – Missing – Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

Norah is at the adoption agency and talking with children as she waits to meet her contacts. It is bittersweet. NORAH WOUND

PJ1 – Orphan Train – Norah is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted, they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF

PJ2 – Norah helps orphan children, rediscovering her motherhood instincts – She helps the children at two stops of the train before getting to the town where her children have been adopted. NORAH WOUND PAYOFF

Turning Point 3: Norah is reunited with her children. NORAH WOUND PAYOFF DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP

AJ2 – Mick has gone off the deep end. He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah. When Mick finds her friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP, <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP SET UP

Act 4: Revenge and Fear

Act 4 Major Shift: Norah is working in the yard alone and is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF

PJ1 – Climax – Norah fights back. In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up. Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is dragged into the light. Her attacker is Doyle. NORAH WOUND PAYOFF DOYLE TRUE NATURE SHOCKER

AJ1 – Mick arrives in a carriage to take Norah back to New York. MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF / MICK HIDDEN AGENDA SET UP

The men discuss the exchange. We find out that Doyle was the reason that she was “given” to Mick. He has returned to find her and bring her back to Mick. M/D TRUE RELATIONSHIP REVEAL

Norah questions them. Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start, he disappeared with the help of Mick and has left his family to suffer. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF MICK TRUE NATURE PAYOFF NORAH WOUND CLIMAX

AJ2 – The disillusioned Mick still believes that Norah will go back with him and believes that he has won the battle, she is too weak to fight back. He tries to take Norah into the carriage, but she is able to push him onto a pitchfork and kills him. MICK HIDDEN AGENDA PAYOFF

AJ3 – Doyle is backed into a corner. He admits that he has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for his moment. DOYLE TRUE NATURE SET UP MICK WOUND PAYOFF

He cries out in sorrow and tells her he is also sorry for her sister. He confesses that he knows what happened to her sister and that Mick caused her accident and lied. She drowned and they never told anyone. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF / NORAH WOUND CLIMAX DOYLE TRUE NATURE REVEAL

PJ3 – The family runs to the barn. They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid.

The husband subdues Doyle and summons the police. DOYLE TRUE NATURE REVEAL

Police are cart away Doyle and telling the group that he is a wanted man. DOYLE TRUE NATURE REVEAL

The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family. NORAH ABILITIES PAYOFF

Final scene – The adoption agent is visiting the family in the yard. He sips tea with the family as the kids run through emerald fields laughing and singing with Norah by their side. NORAH WOUND RESOLUTION

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Character Action Tracks!

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…It’s really easy to fall into the trap of fully writing scenes when you are working with the outline in this level of detail.

Torn Away — Beat Sheet, with Character Action Tracks

Genre: Drama

Act 1: Coming to America…a dream quickly becomes a nightmare.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Empathy/Character Intro Protagonist, Norah Murphy – An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – Recites facts about America with ease; sings while putting items in a trunk; DOYLE – Tells jokes and stories to the kids; charms the parents.

PJ1 Norah – Arrival at port; beginning journey to America. // NORAH – Counts exact change supernaturally fast; watchful eye over kids; DOYLE – Smiling, joking, singing, making conversation with passers by and workers.

Wretched arrival in NYC/Ellis Island. Chaos; the family is worn and emaciated from a hard journey; expectations are shattered. // NORAH – Torn and tattered but still confident and gentle with her kids; intuitively knows which direction is N/S/E/W and can recount details of the journey (mileage, depth of the ocean, speed in knots, etc. DOYLE – Carrying kids on his back, making a game of it, playing scavenger hunt as they make their way through the station.

PJ2 – Settling in a new land. Arriving in the Five Points, the stench is unbearable and the new family is appalled at the pitiful sight of poor beggars and street children everywhere.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> // NORAH – Silently counts tenement windows, people on the street; watchful and aware; snuggles kids and whispers in their ears; points out the poor children on the street, offers them some charity. MICK – Takes charge; hails carriage; talks all about the place and where they will live, who they will meet, etc. DOYLE – Smiles and excitedly exclaims as he sees new sights and the bustling city.

Tenement Life…Doyle arrives home after dark, covered in dirt and pitifully exhausted. They discuss bringing in subleases to help pay the rent, but Doyle is against it. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// DOYLE – Though a bit less bounding, he comes into the home in a jolly manner with stories of the day for the children and a piece of candy for each; NORAH – Singing just before he arrives as she tries to clean the kids; Lightly scolds him for spending the penny on the candy but smiles and dances with him before announcing dinner; After kids are laying down, she brings up the subleases.

PJ3 – Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors celebrate the birth of this new child and also share their plight. // MICK – brings them food and whiskey, giving Doyle a pat on the back that is a bit too rough and unsettling. We sense jealousy. DOYLE – Jokes but a little less jovially; quiet joy with new daughter and a weight of responsibility is starting to show along with worry; NORAH – Joy at her daughter’s birth, but lines of poverty show on her once bright face.

AJ2 – Turning Point: A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who beat him and leave him for dead. // MICK – Buys the first round; People stop him and compliment him or ask for advice on the way in; DOYLE – Begins in normal joking mood, he is ready to let off some steam but as drinks go in, the joy gives way to his underlying angst.

PJ4 – Inciting Incident – Mick comes to Norah and tells her that Doyle is “killed at the factory.” // MICK – Enters with authority, has a police officer behind him, offers Norah a chair and a shot of whiskey; NORAH – Sizes up the situation too quickly and her countenance changes immediately; initially refuses the whiskey but then takes the shot; a tear comes down her cheek but she is stoic for the children.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AJ3 – Mick comes to her aid. Mick offers help to Norah but it is clear from his advances that he wants to take the place of Doyle. He is overbearing and gruff and impatient with her efforts at independence. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// MICK – Brings food and necessaries, shows up unscheduled; makes himself at home, begins to show a bit of coldness and impatience towards kids. Makes a pass at Norah which she brushes off. NORAH – Takes the food, says thank you but does not show affection and seems uneasy at being alone with Mick.

PJ5 – Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street and try to earn money to help the family – they are seven and four years old. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – Snaps at them when they first come in and instantly regrets it; takes the money and cries.

PJ6 – Turning Point: Norah loses her infant daughter to cholera. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – Wailing and gnashing of teeth; but not in front of her kids who she sends with a neighbor. MICK – Handles the arrangements with the baby’s body, hands off to the police or morgue people; his strength shines but he also keeps Norah under his thumb; tells subleasers they need to find a new place to live. Norah is too distraught to argue.

Act 2: Better Off

PJ1 – Starving and Freezing – Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated in New York’s brutal winter. They have begun to burn some furniture and old clothing for heat. But his gifts always come with whiskey and romantic advances. // NORAH – Begs for help from neighbors, she is defeated and has no pride. MICK – polite and kind to helpful neighbor; tells Norah in no uncertain terms what she is going to do. Norah relents and agrees.

AJ1 – Killing Themselves – Mick is losing patience with Norah’s insistence on keeping the children and tells her that she is selfish for keeping her children and he gaslights her into believing that she is choosing to make them suffer when they could have a perfectly good life elsewhere. Norah drinks some more and cries. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// MICK – Calls her a drunk and accuses her of hurting her kids; NORAH – Grabs kids too roughly to leave and they cry. She cries too.

PJ2 – A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them when the workers find that she has been drinking. She resists the call to give them up for adoption. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// MICK – Instant rapport with the agents; they love him, he is charming. He agrees with them and feigns concern. NORAH – Turns hot with outrage (which they say proves their point.)

AJ2 – Taken In – as the children beg, Mick has had enough. He takes them to the local foundation and tells the workers they need to be adopted. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// MICK – Smiles and offers children some penny candy to go for a walk

PJ3 – Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// MICK – Consoling, comforting physically; verbally adamant that they are in a better place/better life. NORAH – Smells of alcohol but serious about her situation; trying to keep it together.

PJ4 – Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Mick, without her children, she increasingly hits the bottle and submits to Mick’s will in exchange for his shelter and food. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – Always drunk, stumbling, hazy eyes, frown, furrowed brow, not keeping up with hygiene, etc. MICK – Oblivious to her pain, living his best life in a smug manner.

Midpoint: A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick. She did not need to let the children go. It is Mick that wanted this. She is bitter, angry and — she stays and goes along with it because her fear and depression is greater.

AJ3: Mick has made Norah his own. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough.

PJ4/Turning Point 2 – A Spark Moment – Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is. She has lost her last memento that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot. // NORAH – This is a huge transition moment where we see her transform into a strong woman, taking control. MICK – Seems harmless here. Unaware that he is causing so much pain.

PJ5 – Plan in action – Norah secretly meets the adoption agent who knows about her children. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good. // NORAH – Physically begins to change. She is neater in appearance and walks with authority.

PJ6 – Norah talks with a trusted neighbor and hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents. // NORAH – Continues to say genius level things to surprise those she is speaking with. Mick intrudes on their meeting. A scene with Mick where we understand that he is not truly happy with Norah the way he thought he would be. And we see evidence that he is hiding something about Doyle.

PJ7 – Another meeting with the Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job. This seems too good to be true. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – She smiles for the first time in a while; she hums a tune as she leaves.

AJ4 – Rage – Mick follows Norah to the adoption agency and finds out Norah has been plotting. When she arrives at their apartment, he threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives. // MICK – His roughest scene and most explosive.

PJ8 – Placated again – Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out. // NORAH – There is a sense that she is truly just placating him and not going a long like before. She has a purpose here.

Act 3: Flown the Coop

AJ1 – Missing – Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage. // MICK – Purposefully breaks a few things that are dear to Norah.

PJ1 – Orphan Train – Norah is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted, they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children. It has been one year since they left. They are now eight and five years old. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – Speaking softly to children, holding one hand; carrying a toddler onboard; she seems happy to fuss over the children and help them get comfortable. She tells them an Irish story and sings some lullabies.

PJ2 – Norah helps orphan children, rediscovering her motherhood instincts – She helps the children at two stops of the train before getting to the town where her children have been adopted. // NORAH – Has a hard time parting with a particular child she had bonded with when they are adopted from the train.

Turning Point 3: Norah is reunited with her children. // NORAH – Tears of joy burst forth as they run and embrace. The kids remember her and love her. They offer Norah a live-in position as a domestic servant where she can live in the house with the children. It seems like the happy ending we wanted.

AJ2 – Mick has gone off the deep end. He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah. When Mick finds her friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her. It’s brutal and scary. We fear for Norah and the children. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// MICK – We see the pain in his face and darkness in his eyes. There should be some emotions that come out to confuse the audience, is he a bad guy or do we feel sorry for him.

Act 4: Revenge and Fear

Act 4 Major Shift: Norah is working in the yard alone and is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant. // NORAH – Singing again, this is the most joyful and relaxed we have seen her since the opening in Ireland which makes the attack more jarring.

PJ1 – Climax – Norah fights back. In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up. Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is dragged into the light. Her attacker is Doyle. She explodes in disbelief, anger, fear, confusion. // NORAH – She is strong and full of fire until she sees Doyle and her entire being becomes deflated for a moment as she processes what is happening. She is confused – then hurt – then angry – then vengeful. DOYLE – This once happy man is now dead serious and we have no idea why he is attacking her.

AJ1 – Mick arrives in a carriage to take Norah back to New York. // MICK – Seems to have had a psychic break with reality. He is whistling in an eerie manner; he is coming to take back his property.

AJ2 – The disillusioned Mick still believes that Norah will go back with him and believes that he has won the battle, she is too weak to fight back. He tries to take Norah into the carriage, but she is able to push him onto a pitchfork and kills him. // MICK – A familiar pattern of physical dominance is repeated but this time it doesn’t work. NORAH – A familiar pattern of submission seems to be coming but at the last minute she lunges and fights back.

PJ2 – With Mick’s blood on her hands, Norah turns to her betrayer, Doyle. She is having a complete fit of rage. She lunges at Doyle with a shovel badly injuring him. // NORAH – Rage; DOYLE – Shock. He never imagined seeing her this way.

AJ3 – Doyle is backed into a corner. He admits that he has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for his moment. // DOYLE – We see him try to at first defend and deflect, blame it all on Mick.

PJ3 – The family runs to the barn. They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid. The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>// NORAH – Brave and stoic.

Final scene – The adoption agent is visiting the family in the yard. He sips tea with the family as the kids run through emerald fields laughing and singing with Norah by their side.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s New Outline Beats!

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…It seems like most of the work I needed to do was in regards to setting up later scenes with foreshadowing and setting up the importance of later scenes and character traits. So, lots of additions in the first act!

Torn Away — Beat Sheet, with New Beats

Genre: Drama

Act 1: Coming to America…a dream quickly becomes a nightmare.

Foreshadowing: Clover Field, Kids playing, Singing, Suddenly stopping at the sight of dead, emaciated bodies on the edge of the field

Empathy/Character Intro Protagonist, Norah Murphy – An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America.

PJ1 Norah – Arrival at port; beginning journey to America.

Wretched arrival in NYC/Ellis Island. Chaos; the family is worn and emaciated from a hard journey; expectations are shattered.

Mick meets them at the gate. Empathy/Character Intro, Antagonist, Mick Kilcullen

PJ2 – Settling in a new land. Arriving in the Five Points, the stench is unbearable and the new family is appalled at the pitiful sight of poor beggars and street children everywhere.

Meet key neighbors/introduce supporting characters.

We see the adoption agents working on the street with poor children.

Arrival at the apartment. They are saddened by the bare room with dirt everywhere, but neighbors continue to pour in with offerings of a bit of food or a shawl or blanket to welcome them and it warms their hearts.

Tenement Life…Doyle arrives home after dark, covered in dirt and pitifully exhausted. They discuss bringing in subleases to help pay the rent, but Doyle is against it.

A baby girl is born. PJ3 – Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors celebrate the birth of this new child and also share their plight. Mick brings them food and whiskey, giving Doyle a pat on the back that is a bit too rough and unsettling. We sense jealousy.

AJ2 – Turning Point: A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who beat him and leave him for dead.

PJ4 – Inciting Incident – Mick comes to Norah and tells her that Doyle is “killed at the factory.”

He immediately tries to make advances on Norah, which is totally inappropriate and she tells him so.

We see Norah working as a garment maker in her home and it is brutal and low paid labor. Her older child is talking in his sleep to his daddy, and asking him why he died and came back.

AJ3 – Mick comes to her aid. Mick offers help to Norah but it is clear from his advances that he wants to take the place of Doyle. He is overbearing and gruff and impatient with her efforts at independence.

Neighbors come to the aid of the family as they are able but it is hard times for all.

Norah takes in subleasers to help with rent.

PJ5 – Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street and try to earn money to help the family – they are seven and four years old.

Mick does not approve and tells her that her kids should be sent away for a better life.

One of the subleasers comes down with a horrible cough. The sickness spreads.

PJ6 – Turning Point: Norah loses her infant daughter to cholera.

Act 2: Better Off

PJ1 – Starving and Freezing – Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated in New York’s brutal winter. But his gifts always come with whiskey and romantic advances.

Norah is forced out of her apartment and now homeless, must move in with Mick, along with her children.

Destitute, they arrive on Mick’s doorstep. He takes them in.

Mick treats the children horribly and is possessive over Norah.

Mick forces himself on Norah. He makes it clear that he is not looking to get married. Norah doesn’t dare make a sound or stop him because the children are nearby and she doesn’t want them to be hurt or know.

She begins to drink at the grocery in their building. At first it’s just a drink or two.

AJ1 – Killing Themselves – Mick is losing patience with Norah’s insistence on keeping the children and tells her that she is selfish for keeping her children and he gaslights her into believing that she is choosing to make them suffer when they could have a perfectly good life elsewhere.

Norah drinks some more and cries.

Mick reports the kids to a local charitable group because he says he is worried about them. We see Mick call them, but Norah doesn’t know it was him.

PJ2 – A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them when the workers find that she has been drinking. She resists the call to give them up for adoption.

Mick is shown to be withholding his money from providing food and clothing to the kids, but Norah is unaware of how much money he is not sharing and how much he spends at the saloon.

AJ2 – Taken In – as the children beg, Mick has had enough. He takes them to the local foundation and tells the workers they need to be adopted.

He tells Norah the kids were taken off the street. She doesn’t know he was involved.

PJ3 – Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go.

Norah brings the children to the charity and surrenders them. The separation is agonizing.

Mick is supportive to Norah’s face and condescending to her when speaking with the workers behind her back, playing both sides.

PJ4 – Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Mick, without her children, she increasingly hits the bottle and submits to Mick’s will in exchange for his shelter and food.

She gets pregnant and miscarries.

She is depressed. Mourning her husband and missing her children. She feels like a failure and considers suicide.

Mick is now fully abusive. He yells at Norah and threatens violence. He grabs her roughly. We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Mick to lorde over her.

Midpoint: A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick.

She did not need to let the children go. It is Mick that wanted this. She is bitter, angry and — she stays and goes along with it because her fear and depression is greater.

AJ3: Mick has made Norah his own. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough.

PJ4/Turning Point 2 – A Spark Moment – Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is. She has lost her last memento that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot.

PJ5 – Plan in action – Norah secretly meets the adoption agent who knows about her children. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good.

PJ6 – Norah talks with a trusted neighbor and hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents.

Mick intrudes on their meeting. A scene with Mick where we understand that he is not truly happy with Norah the way he thought he would be. And we see evidence that he is hiding something about Doyle.

Adoption agents contact parents who adopted Norah’s children to discuss reuniting them.

PJ7 – Another meeting with the Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job. This seems too good to be true.

AJ4 – Rage – Mick follows Norah to the adoption agency and finds out Norah has been plotting. When she arrives at their apartment, he threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives.

PJ8 – Placated again – Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out. She is at a new low and has no idea what to do.

Act 3: Flown the Coop

AJ1 – Missing – Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage.

Norah is at the adoption agency and talking with children as she waits to meet her contacts. It is bittersweet.

Adoption agents offer to bring Norah with them so that she can finally see her kids again but she will need to help them on the journey in exchange for her passage.

PJ1 – Orphan Train – Norah is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted, they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children. It has been one year since they left. They are now eight and five years old.

PJ2 – Norah helps orphan children, rediscovering her motherhood instincts – She helps the children at two stops of the train before getting to the town where her children have been adopted.

Turning Point 3: Norah is reunited with her children.

They offer Norah a live-in position as a domestic servant where she can live in the house with the children. It seems like the happy ending we wanted.

AJ2 – Mick has gone off the deep end. He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah.

When Mick finds her friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her. It’s brutal and scary. We fear for Norah and the children.

Act 4: Revenge and Fear

Act 4 Major Shift: Norah is working in the yard alone and is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant.

PJ1 – Climax – Norah fights back. In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up. Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is dragged into the light. Her attacker is Doyle. She explodes in disbelief, anger, fear, confusion.

AJ1 – Mick arrives in a carriage to take Norah back to New York.

The men discuss the exchange. We find out that Doyle was the reason that she was “given” to Mick. He has returned to find her and bring her back to Mick.

Norah questions them. Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start, he disappeared with the help of Mick and has left his family to suffer. Mick was helping him escape the men who were trying to kill him. But Mick was the reason he was in the mess in the first place. Doyle turned to a life of crime on the run, a complete change of character.

AJ2 – The disillusioned Mick still believes that Norah will go back with him and believes that he has won the battle, she is too weak to fight back. He tries to take Norah into the carriage, but she fights back with a hidden knife and kills him.

PJ2 – With Mick’s blood on her hands, Norah turns to her betrayer, Doyle. She is having a complete fit of rage. She lunges at Doyle and cuts him.

AJ3 – Doyle is backed into a corner. He admits that he has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for his moment.

She screams at him and physically pounds at him with her fists.

He cries out in sorrow and tells her he is also sorry for her sister. He confesses that he knows what happened to her sister and that Mick caused her accident and lied. She drowned and they never told anyone. Our image of him is shattered. From a strong and loving husband, to a weak and pathetic loser.

He cries and screams.

PJ3 – The family runs to the barn.

They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid.

The husband subdues Doyle and summons the police.

Police are cart away Doyle and telling the group that he is a wanted man.

The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family.

Final scene – The adoption agent is visiting the family in the yard. He sips tea with the family as the kids run through emerald fields laughing and singing with Norah by their side.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Melissa Barreca. Reason: More concise emphasis on beats rather than describing scenes

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Beat Sheet Draft 1

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…This was overwhelming at first but as I worked through it, things began to make sense and I gave myself permission to make changes as needed and stay nimble with thinking about the story arc and climax to make it even better.

Torn Away — Beat Sheet, Draft 1

Genre: Drama

Act 1: Coming to America…a dream quickly becomes a nightmare.

Empathy/Character Intro Protagonist, Norah Murphy – An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. We meet Norah and Doyle, with two kids, a toddler girl and a five year old boy. We see how Norah and Doyle are sweet and good natured people who really love each other, their children and their families. We care about them and their journey. We want them to succeed.

PJ1 Norah – Beginning: Idealistic, intelligent but dependent on her husband and family. She is hopeful to make her dreams come true and takes the leap with her husband to journey to America to start a new life. She departs, travels and arrives in Ellis Island to a chaotic and dangerous world that does not match her expectations.

Empathy/Character Intro, Antagonist, Mick Kilcullen – Arrival in America. We meet Mick, Doyle’s childhood best friend. We think Michael is nice and the meeting is fun and familiar. He seems safe and familiar in a confusing world. (Unscripted backstory, antagonist, Mick that will be shown through clues: Beginning: He has a dream of a new life in America after he feels like his life in Ireland is doomed to failure (he is responsible for one of Norah’s sister’s disappearance but no one knows). He comes to America, meets his wife, has a child and everything is wonderful. Inciting Incident: His wife and child are killed in a violent episode caused by his gambling. He is crushed emotionally. Turning Point 1: Michael goes dark. As he is grieving his wife and child, he becomes bitter and blames all of his troubles on the people in Ireland that led him down this path.)

AJ1 Mick – His old friend Doyle and his old flame, Norah, arrive in New York. Mick is twisted with jealousy and hatred for them because of what they once were to him and because of what they have that he no longer has.

PJ2 – Settling in a new land. Getting jobs. Getting a tenement apartment. We see the poor street children. Norah wants to help them. Our hearts are wrenched by the reality of what they encounter in the new world versus their high hopes. And we care about the poor street children and their plight, lamenting that there isn’t more that can be done to help this crush of humanity in the industrial age. This is foreshadowing.

PJ3 – Things are hard. The apartment life is dismal. Doyle works too much. There is not enough money. They find they are pregnant and have a baby girl. Despite our hardships, we still have our love and our hope for the future; This shines through in the interactions between Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors who share their plight.

AJ2 – Turning Point: A night at the local parlor and too much whiskey leads Mick and Doyle into a fight. Mick becomes despondent and relates his bad luck to Doyle, who instead of providing sympathy, tells him that it was all his fault. Mick becomes enraged at Doyle and fixed on getting Norah, and manipulates Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who beat him and leave him for dead.

PJ4 – Inciting Incident – Doyle is “killed at the factory.” This is the story that Mick gives Norah two days after their drinking binge when Doyle still has not returned home. This is a horrible tragedy and we see Norah’s heart broken in the most painful and gut-wrenching way. What will she do with these children? How will she survive without her family in a strange new world. Norah must find a job and find help with the children. She begins to work as a garment maker in her home and it is brutal and low paid labor.

Hints: We see hints that Doyle is still alive. His body is never found. Some of his belongings are missing. The children say they said goodbye to daddy but no one knows what they mean. Doyle’s early scenes are filled with confusing moments that are chalked up to the nervousness of the long journey and big change.

AJ3 – Mick comes to her aid. Mick offers help to Norah. He slowly takes the place of Doyle. Mick is a familiar friend and she has to take his help, she has no choice. And he seems nice. He begins to offer the family food and coal – and whiskey – and weekly visits, but the suffering continues to worsen for them.

Surface Layer: Norah is an immigrant trying to make a better life in America, who has lost her husband and now must struggle to provide for her children on her own. Mick is a helpful friend from Ireland who tries to assist.

Influences Surface Story: Mick seems helpful but also too good to be true. Norah is trusting but has moments of doubt about Mick and about her decisions and the situation she has found herself in. We see Norah doubting but pushing doubts aside. We see Mick gaslighting her in small ways at first and then building to full emotional and mental control.

Deeper Layer: Mick is actually manipulating Norah’s whole life out of his own woundedness, and as an act of revenge against Doyle and a fulfillment of his twisted fantasies. In this section, we see his manipulations and we see Norah putting up with it.

PJ5 – Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street and try to earn money to help the family – they are seven and four years old. They beg for food on the streets and help sell fruit for the grocer in the building. They see a lot of suffering in the neighborhood. Life is bleak.

PJ6 – Turning Point: Norah loses her infant daughter to cholera. This is an agonizing blow that changes Norah. The light has gone from her eyes. She is walking in pain and can barely cope. Norah is numb after the death of Doyle and her daughter.

Act 2: Better Off

PJ1 – Starving and Freezing – Norah is resisting full reliance on Mick and has only taken his charity, but it is not enough to help her feed her children and keep their apartment heated in New York’s brutal winter. She begins to drink at the grocery in their building. At first it’s just a drink or two. But it snowballs.

AJ1 – Killing Themselves – Mick is losing patience with Norah’s independence and decides that he must intervene if she is ever going to do what he believes is best – moving in with him and becoming his wife. He reports her to a local charitable group because he says he is worried about her and the children. We see Mick call them, but Norah doesn’t know it was him.

PJ2 – A home visit by the Children’s Home Society sees Norah being convinced that she is abusing her children by keeping them in squalor and the workers find that she has been drinking. She resists the call to give them up for adoption. She is holding out hope that she will be able to care for them.

AJ2 – Taken In – as the children beg, Mick has had enough. He lures them to the local foundation and tells the workers they need to be adopted. He could have kept them and helped them all, but he doesn’t want the burden of Doyle’s kids. This should be made clear.

PJ3 – Norah is summoned. She is drinking again. She tearfully agrees and believes she has no choice but to let them go. The separation is agonizing. Mick is supportive to Norah’s face and condescending to her when speaking with the workers behind her back, playing both sides.

We begin to see Mick really becoming the villain and we are outraged at his treatment of Norah, and even more, we are devastated that Norah is putting up with it and allowing Mick to mistreat her and her children, but we also sympathize. She really has almost no choice.

PJ4 – Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Mick, without her children, she increasingly hits the bottle and submits to Mick’s will in exchange for his shelter and food. She gets pregnant and miscarries. She is depressed. Mourning her husband and missing her children. She feels like a failure and considers suicide.

We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Michael to lord over her. Truly a low point and hopefully we won’t all abandon Norah in disgust, but will look at her and think about all of the times we have been weak and allowed people to take advantage of us.

Midpoint: A chance meeting with an old neighbor at the grocery bar who “was surprised she allowed Mick to take her beautiful children away” causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Mick. She did not need to let the children go. It is Mick that wanted this. She is bitter, angry and — she stays and goes along with it. This is unbelievable for the audience who wants her to fight for her kids.

This is a moment that is filled with fate – this was not a chance meeting in reality but something that was “meant to be”. It is as if Norah is being nudged to do the right thing and somehow led down the right path.

AJ3: Mick has made Norah his own. They are a couple. He has her to himself. He feels like he is winning. Even when they lose their first child, he is hopeful that they will have more. He is oblivious to her pain and sees her only as an accessory he needs to control. We see their domestic “bliss” play out with Norah going through the motions as his “wife” and Mick telling her that she is not good enough.

Mick feigns concern and is helpful on the surface. We know Mick is not to be trusted and we are helpless as we watch Norah allow him to manipulate her while we know his true character and motives.

PJ4/Turning Point 2 – A Spark Moment – Mick nonchalantly tells Norah he has sold her wedding veil to pay for some whiskey. She is heartbroken and something in her snaps and she sees him for who he is. She has lost her last memento that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children. It lights a fire in her and reminds her of what used to be. She becomes convicted that she will do something. Norah will find them if it’s the last thing she does. We see her take the last bit of whiskey in her glass and pour it into the chamber pot.

PJ5 – Plan in action – We watch Norah finally start to wake up to Mick’s true character, but it is agonizingly slow. Every time she asks a question, we cheer. But when she doesn’t push further, we are so frustrated. She is so close to figuring this out. Norah finally meets the adoption agent who knows about her children. This is a pivotal moment emotionally and within the story. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good. We can be gratified to see him connecting with Norah. We know he will care and do whatever he can to help.

Norah hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents. Creative, “aha moments” here for everyone. The creative thinking here just might work.

Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a domestic and he can get her the job. This is too good to be true. The first time we have felt hope in a while in this story. It should be celebrated.

AJ4 – Rage – When she is just about to find the children, Mick threatens her life and flies off the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives. Norah sinks into submission – she dares not cross Michael for fear for her safety and the kids.

PJ6 – Placated again – Norah calms Mick with more whiskey and swears that she doesn’t want her children. He passes out. She is at a new low and has no idea what to do. This is the point where we get a little angry with Norah, our heroine. How could she know who Michael is and STILL allow him to control and manipulate her? We are disgusted by her weakness, but it rings true with the human condition.

Act 3: Flown the Coop

AJ1 – Missing – Mick awakes to find that Norah is gone. He breaks the few items of furniture they have in a fit of rage.

She decides to leave Michael in secret and go to the home of the children/new family and become their Nanny. We are a little scared for her, but so proud of her bravery. How will she do it? Will it work? Will she get caught?

PJ1 – Orphan Train – Norah rediscovers her purpose. She is boarding a train with adoption agents and children that are to be adopted, they have offered to bring her along on the journey in the hopes of reuniting her with her children. It has been one year since they left. They are now eight and five years old.

PJ2 – Norah helps orphan children, rediscovering her motherhood instincts – She helps the children at two stops of the train before getting to the town where her children have been adopted.

Turning Point 3: Norah is reunited with her children. The adoption agents have written the lovely couple that adopted them and explained the situation. They offer Norah a live-in position as a domestic servant where she can live in the house with the children. It seems like the happy ending we wanted.

The plan succeeds. Norah is reunited with her children. Things seem to be working out. This first meeting with her children again has to be an epic scene. We will cry major tears of joy as this mom is back with her kids at last.

AJ2 – Mick has gone off the deep end. He is back in the neighborhood looking for Norah. When he finds a friend with information, he interrogates her and ends up killing her. It’s brutal and scary. We fear for Norah and the children.

Act 4: Revenge and Fear

Act 4 Major Shift: Norah is working in the yard alone and is grabbed from behind and dragged off into a barn. We do not see her assailant.

PJ1 – Climax – Norah fights back. In the barn, it’s an all out brawl in the dark. Norah fights and claws with every fiber of her being. The attacker fiercely beats her and attempts to tie her up.

Major Reveal: The subdued Norah is tied and she is drug into the light. Her attacker is Doyle. She explodes in disbelief, anger, fear, confusion.

AJ1 – Mick arrives in a cart to take Norah back to New York. We find out that Doyle is alive and he was the reason that she was “given” to Mick. He has returned to find her and bring her back to Mick.

Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start, faked his death with the help of Mick and has left his family to suffer at the hands of Mick the whole time.

Changes Reality: The husband she loved and mourned for turns out to be the ultimate traitor and abuser. The man who she thought was helping her is revealed as an abusive man who wanted to control her but actually her husband Doyle is the ultimate villain. Michael turns out to be more of a pathetic character than a criminal mastermind.

AJ2 – The disillusioned Mick believes that Norah will go back with him. He tries to take Norah into the cart, but she fights back with a hidden knife and kills him.

PJ2 – With Mick’s blood on her hands, Norah turns to her betrayer, Doyle. She is having a complete psychotic break with reality. She lunges at Doyle and cuts off his ear.

AJ3 – Doyle is backed into a corner. He admits that he has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for her moment. We are shocked to see him again because we thought she had lost him. Our image of him is shattered. From a strong and loving husband, to a weak and pathetic loser. He cries and screams.

PJ3 – The family runs to the barn. They see the carnage of Mick, and the cowering pathetic Doyle, and the glassy-eyed Norah and rush to her aid. She acted in self defense. The husband subdues Doyle and summons the police.

Resolution – Police are carting away Doyle and telling the group that he is a wanted man. The family agrees to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family.

Final scene – The adoption agent is a de facto grandpa that visits often. Happiness, joy and a belief that all of our trials can end in triumph.

Resolution: Norah defeats Mick for good, and overcomes the betrayal of Doyle. She has regained her sense of power over her own destiny. She has reunited with her children, defeated the hold he had on her and she has become comfortable with her unique gifts and has come into her own as a strong woman and mother.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Deeper Layer

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…This was kind of a breakthrough assignment as I realized that the biggest reveal had yet to be concepted.

Torn Away – deeper layer

Surface Layer: Norah is an immigrant trying to make a better life in America, who has lost her husband and now must struggle to provide for her children on her own. Michael is a helpful friend from Ireland who tries to assist.

Deeper Layer: Michael is actually manipulating Norah’s whole life out of his own woundedness, and as an act of revenge against Doyle and a fulfillment of his twisted fantasies. Doyle is the ultimate traitor who exchanged his wife for passage to America and a fresh start, faked his death with the help of Michael and has left his family to suffer at the hands of Michael the whole time.

Major Reveal: We find out that Doyle is alive and he was the reason that she was “given” to Michael in the end of the movie when he returns to find her and bring her back to Michael.

Influences Surface Story: Michael seems helpful but also too good to be true. Norah is trusting but has moments of doubt about Michael and about her decisions and the situation she has found herself in. We see Norah doubting but pushing doubts aside. We see Michael gaslighting her in small ways at first and then building to full emotional and mental control.

Hints: We see hints that Doyle is still alive. His body is never found. Some of his belongings are missing. The children say they said goodbye to daddy but no one knows what they mean. Doyle’s early scenes are filled with confusing moments that are chalked up to the nervousness of the long journey and big change.

Changes Reality: The husband she loved and mourned for turns out to be the ultimate traitor and abuser. The man who she thought was helping her is revealed as an abusive man who wanted to control her but actually her husband Doyle is the ultimate villain. Michael turns out to be more of a pathetic character than a criminal mastermind.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Character Structure

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…I would have never done an outline for the antagonist and I think that made a huge difference in layering the story and informing the things that need to be shown or hinted at behind the scenes.

Norah (protagonist):

Beginning: Idealistic, intelligent but dependent on her husband and family. She is hopeful to make her dreams come true and takes the leap with her husband to journey to America to start a new life. She departs, travels and arrives in Ellis Island to a chaotic and dangerous world that does not match her expectations.

Inciting Incident: Doyle is killed in a factory accident and Norah must care for the children on her own.

Turning Point 1: Children help Norah, and Michael becomes their provider and benefactor, until the children are taken by the Children’s Home Society to be adopted by others and Norah believes she has no choice but to let them go.

Act 2: Norah spirals into a dark place. Dependent on Michael. She gets pregnant and miscarries. She is depressed. Mourning her husband and missing her children. She feels like a failure and considers suicide.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: A chance meeting with another child from the orphan train causes Norah to become aware that she was manipulated by Michael. Her kids were not in a better place. She did not need to let them go. It is Michael that wanted this. She is bitter, angry and — she stays and goes along with it. This is unbelievable for the audience who wants her to fight for her kids.

Act 3: Norah rediscovers her purpose. The encouragement from the kind adoption agents triggers her inner strength and she begins to put pieces in motion to find and reunite with her kids.

Turning Point 3: Norah confronts and leaves Michael. She goes after the kids. She has a plan and it works. She is able to find and reunite with them. It seems like the ending we wanted.

Act 4 Climax: Michael finds her and tries to kill her. Norah fights back.

Resolution: Norah defeats Michael for good. She has regained her sense of power over her own destiny. She has reunited with her children, defeated the hold Michael had on her and she has become comfortable with her unique gifts and has come into her own as a strong woman and mother.

Michael (antagonist):

Beginning: He has a dream of a new life in America after he feels like his life in Ireland is doomed to failure (he is responsible for one of Norah’s sister’s disappearance but no one knows). He comes to America, meets his wife, has a child and everything is wonderful.

Inciting Incident: His wife and child are killed in a violent episode caused by his gambling. He is crushed emotionally.

Turning Point 1: Michael goes dark. As he is grieving his wife and child, he becomes bitter and blames all of his troubles on the people in Ireland that led him down this path.

Act 2: His old friend Doyle and his old flame, Norah, arrive in New York. Michael is twisted with jealousy and hatred for them because of what they once were to him and because of what they have that he no longer has.

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Michael becomes fixed on getting Norah, and manipulates Doyle into a bad deal that leads him into trouble with criminals who kidnap him and sell him into indentured service.

Act 3: With Doyle out of the way, Michael must get rid of Norah’s children so that they can start a new life together. He orchestrates the taking and adopting of the kids and gaslights Norah into believing that she cannot do anything about it and that it is best for them.

Turning Point 3: Michael has made Norah his own. They are a couple. He has her to himself. He feels like he is winning. Even when they lose their first child, he is hopeful that they will have more. He is oblivious to her pain and sees her only as an accessory he needs to control.

Act 4 Climax: Norah leaves him and goes after her kids. He is enraged. He will find her.

Resolution: Michael tries to take Norah back, but she fights back and kills him.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Supporting Characters

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…Thinking about the character’s purpose in moving the story along helps identify key traits for that character.

Tell us your supporting and background characters.

Supporting Characters: Adoption agents husband and wife, Doyle, NYC Neighbor, the children (three), Adoptive parents in Missouri

Background Characters: Orphans; Potential adoptive couples; City people; tenement people, factory people, railway workers, adoption agency workers

Focusing on those supporting characters, fill in the basic profile for each.

Support #1 – the children

Name: Bridget, Donal and Maeve Murphy

Role: The children of Norah and Doyle Murphy.

Main Purpose: These are the most important people in Norah’s life and they are the least important to Michael. He sees them as standing in his way of accomplishing his dreams and Norah is completely consumed with caring for them and when she loses them, she is heartbroken. The children are young, sweet and good natured in general. But Bridget can be mouthy, Donal is energetic and mischievious and Maeve is the baby who has a cherub face but is high maintenance and never wants to leave her mother’s side.

Value: The whole story and conflict revolves around the question of whether these children will ever be happily reunited with their mother again. We see their journey as the outward expression of Norah’s gut wrenching internal struggle throughout the film and what the children is experiencing is often the exact opposite of what Norah is experiencing in the moment.

Support 2 Norah’s husband:

Name: Doyle Murphy

Role: Norah’s husband who dies in an accident (we think).

Main purpose: Doyle anchors Norah to her past, gives her something to fight for and makes her remember the best parts of herself. His memory and his love is a powerful motivator for her to keep fighting to reunite with her children. Doyle also provides motivation for Michael, as he felt competitive with him and has unresolved issues from their history that make his conquest of Norah even more important to him.

Value: We see the idealized vision for Norah’s future (and past), and we see why, through his relationship with Doyle, that Michael felt so compelled to insert himself in their relationship and win out over his rival, Doyle.

Support #3 – adoption agents

Name: Jack and Helen Taylor

Role: Adoption agents that place the Murphy children on the Orphan train

Main purpose: They are the ones who place the children for adoption, and help provide assistance in eventually reuniting them with their mother. They are a calming and nourishing and guiding influence on Norah and all of the children who lovingly call them Grandpa Jack and Grandma Helen.

Value: Show an idealized form of familial love and ties with a loving father/mother figure for both Norah and her children. Provide a pathway for Norah to take back control of her life and fight for her children.

Support #4 – NYC Neighbor

Name: Matilda McTavish

Role: Neighbor of the Murphy family in the crowded NYC tenement building, she often helps with the children when Norah needs it.

Main Purpose: Matilda is truly the only support that Norah has in New York and she is unreliable and crabby much of the time. Norah hates leaving her children in the care of Mrs. McTavish, but she has no choice.

Value: The crabby Mrs. McTavish is a symbolic representation of the harshness of life in America for this Irish immigrant family and the willingness of Norah to leave her precious children with her is one of the first indications we see of the slow degradation of her life and the hard choices she is having to make in order to survive.

Support #5 – Adoptive parents in Missouri

Name: Genevieve and George Valle

Role: The kind and generous adoptive parents of Bridget and Donal Murphy.

Main Purpose: The Valles rescue the Murphy children from a horrible life in the dirty tenements of New York. When they arrive in their home, the children are shellshocked and malnourished. Through the loving care of the Valles, the children begin to heal and thrive in southern Missouri.

Value: The Valles offer hope for the Murphy children and later for their mother and father. They are the symbolic representation of goodness in the world and good people willing to help others and support them with a loving community. The role of the Valles is to show a healing solution that allows the entire family to heal and thrive, but Norah must make the right moves and take initiative to make it happen.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Character Profiles Part 2

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…Thinking through all of the dimensions of character before writing begins is a powerful way to help reveal and direct the character’s journey. In the course of filling in these character profiles, I realized that rather than just being a supporting character, Norah’s late husband Doyle is actually the triangle character who plays these two main characters against each other, even though he is killed in the beginning of the movie, his memory and presence is a real impact throughout the story.

Character Profile Lead #1: Norah, protagonist

A. The High Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted by a loving family…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

B. This character’s journey: Norah transforms from a simple, happy wife to an abused and willing victim to a triumphant heroine in the course of the story.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: She runs the gamut of emotion – hope, excitement, deep love, despair, desperation, abuse, pain, loss, mourning, blankness/emptiness, hope and strength/rage.

Role in the Story: Protagonist; a victim who turns into a heroine.

Age range and Description: 25-30 years old; A stunningly beautiful young woman with dark hair and bright green eyes; Norah is effortlessly graceful and has a sense of confidence that is tested, destroyed and rebuilt during the course of the story.

Core Traits: Caring, gentle, extremely smart, her speech has a lyrical, soothing tone that is almost mesmerizing and instantly puts people at ease and draws them in. Norah has “never known a stranger” she is exceedingly kind and treats people as if she has known them her whole life.

Motivation; Want/Need: Norah wants to be reunited with her children. Norah needs to fulfill the dream that she had with her late husband Doyle, to give her family a fresh start in the US and the kind of upbringing her parents tried to give her but failed.

Wound: Family tragedies from her childhood and a rough start in America, including losing her husband and her children, haunt Norah and almost ruin/defeat her spirit.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Likability: Norah has a big heart and loves people. She is always serving people. She seeks out the downtrodden and broken and tries to lift them up. Her love for her children and her husband shines through, as well as her extended family. She has a sweet relationship with her mother and father. Relatability: Norah is the kind of person we all wish we could be and that we admire and value in our lives. She reminds us of a favorite aunt/cousin/sister/grandmother. Empathy: When Norah loses her husband and then her children, we are devastated for her. It is hard to see and we want to take away her pain.

Character Subtext: Norah works to keep her surface appearance and feelings normal and calm, pretending everything is fine and willingly accepting Michaels manipulations for the trade off of safety in a scary and dangerous world.

Character Intrigue: Because of losing her sister, Norah has attachment issues. Because of her high intellect, she perceives the true dangers around her better than most. Her greatest fear is separation from her loved ones, her children – and that is the nightmare she finds herself in, and inexplicably participating in it.

Flaw: Norah lacks self confidence and lives in fear, after experiencing several hard situations in life. She becomes crushed spiritually and cannot see a way to strongly lead herself out of the dark places she has found herself and becomes codependent on a manipulative man.

Values: Family, her children, her lost husband, love and sacrifice for others.

Character Dilemma: Being safe and alive! In a world that is dangerous and unpredictable, Norah has to constantly fight her instinct to stay safe and preserve her own life versus her heart’s desire to find and protect her children.

Character Profile #2 – Michael, antagonist

A. The High Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted by a loving family…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together. (Michael is the hidden reason for all of her problems.)

B. This character’s journey: Michael sees himself as a good guy. He’s a true villain in this story but in his mind, his motives are good and he is doing everything for Norah’s good and the good of the children, even the most heartless and evil actions. We see as he spirals deeper into a dark place where he can justify any action to achieve his original goal of having Norah as his wife and rebuilding his dream life in America.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: Michael transforms in the opposite direction as Norah, from a true friend and admirable man to a dark, evil character who is capable of anything. In the course of the story, he retains the surface likeability and many people continue to see him as a role model and amazing man even while he is victimizing Norah in plain view. He is a smart, athletic, attractive man, who is adept at hiding his motivations and actions.

Role in the Story: Antagonist; manipulator of Norah and dark actor behind the scenes

Age range and Description: Michael is slightly older than Norah, in his 30’s. He is a seasoned man, and shows a bit of wear from the hard life he has found in America, but he is extremely handsome and athletic; he has a tall and muscular physique, brown hair with a hint of ginger and blue eyes. His classic good looks and air of confidence open many doors for him.

Core Traits: Aggressive and a smooth talker; Michael does not wait for things to happen, he makes them happen. He is heartbroken and bitter over the events that he has experienced after coming to America and he doesn’t want to give up on his dreams of a better life. He is well liked by his community and seen as a leader and a “go-to” person for help and advice.

Motivation; Want/Need: Michael wants to start a new life with Norah as his wife and without her children from her previous marriage. Michael needs to rebuild his life and fulfill his dreams of the life he wanted in America.

Wound: Michael lost his wife and baby in a horrible accident after living in America for a short time, when things were looking great for them. He has never recovered from the loss and has fixated on his childhood love, Norah, as the only way for him to live out a life that he wants. He will do anything to make it happen.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Likability: Michael is handsome and charming. He is someone we are intrigued by and we are introduced to him as a steadfast friend and happy helper. He is also very witty and always seems to say the right thing in social situations. Relatability: Michael cares deeply about the people in his life and his brokenness and turn to become a manipulative abuser is an evolution out of his own loss and failure to cope with it. We can all remember feeling like we wanted to cling to something or someone that we could not have. We have all had a broken heart and longed for a relationship or a person that we couldn’t have. Empathy: Michael is obviously in grief over his own loss and struggling with his desire for Norah even though he knows it’s wrong. We want him to make the right choice and when he doesn’t we want him to change.

Character Subtext: Lying, plotting, secrets; Michael manipulates every situation for his benefit and blurs the line between truth and lies, and the distinction between love and dysfunction.

Character Intrigue: Michael has always been everyone’s favorite and someone who good fortune always smiled upon, until he came to America and suffered one tragedy after the next. He has become determined to right the perceived wrongs he has experienced and get back on top through all forms of manipulation.

Flaw: Michael is unable to look in the mirror and recognize that he has spiraled into a place of evil, he still sees himself as a good guy and his distorted self image causes him to continue to go deeper into his web of deceit and denial of reality.

Values: His dreams, accomplishment, winning, being respected and valued by others. He doesn’t really understand the meaning of true love, until the end.

Character Dilemma: Michael walks the line between being loved and respected in public versus being feared and tolerated in private because of his choice to manipulate and destroy instead of help, understand and protect Norah.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Character Profiles – Part 1

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…There is always more you can add and elaborate on a character to help give them depth and serve the story.

Character Profile Lead #1: Norah –

A. The High Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted by a loving family…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

B. This character’s journey: Norah transforms from a simple, happy wife to an abused and willing victim to a triumphant heroine in the course of the story.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: She runs the gamut of emotion – hope, excitement, deep love, despair, desperation, abuse, pain, loss, mourning, blankness/emptiness, hope and strength/rage.

Role in the Story: Protagonist; a victim who turns into a heroine.

Age range and Description: 25-30 years old; A stunningly beautiful young woman with dark hair and bright green eyes; Norah is effortlessly graceful and has a sense of confidence that is tested, destroyed and rebuilt during the course of the story.

Core Traits: Caring, gentle, extremely smart, her speech has a lyrical, soothing tone that is almost mesmerizing and instantly puts people at ease and draws them in. Norah has “never known a stranger” she is exceedingly kind and treats people as if she has known them her whole life.

Motivation; Want/Need: Norah wants to be reunited with her children. Norah needs to fulfill the dream that she had with her late husband Doyle, to give her family a fresh start in the US and the kind of upbringing her parents tried to give her but failed.

Wound: Family tragedies from her childhood and a rough start in America, including losing her husband and her children, haunt Norah and almost ruin/defeat her spirit.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Likability: Norah has a big heart and loves people. She is always serving people. She seeks out the downtrodden and broken and tries to lift them up. Her love for her children and her husband shines through, as well as her extended family. She has a sweet relationship with her mother and father. Relatability: Norah is the kind of person we all wish we could be and that we admire and value in our lives. She reminds us of a favorite aunt/cousin/sister/grandmother. Empathy: When Norah loses her husband and then her children, we are devastated for her. It is hard to see and we want to take away her pain.

Character Profile Lead #2: Michael –

A. The High Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted by a loving family…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together. (Michael is the hidden reason for all of her problems.)

B. This character’s journey: Michael sees himself as a good guy. He’s a true villain in this story but in his mind, his motives are good and he is doing everything for Norah’s good and the good of the children, even the most heartless and evil actions. We see as he spirals deeper into a dark place where he can justify any action to achieve his original goal of having Norah as his wife and rebuilding his dream life in America.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: Michael transforms in the opposite direction as Norah, from a true friend and admirable man to a dark, evil character who is capable of anything. In the course of the story, he retains the surface likeability and many people continue to see him as a role model and amazing man even while he is victimizing Norah in plain view. He is a smart, athletic, attractive man, who is adept at hiding his motivations and actions.

Role in the Story: Antagonist; manipulator of Norah and dark actor behind the scenes

Age range and Description: Michael is slightly older than Norah, in his 30’s. He is a seasoned man, and shows a bit of wear from the hard life he has found in America, but he is extremely handsome and athletic; he has a tall and muscular physique, brown hair with a hint of ginger and blue eyes. His classic good looks and air of confidence open many doors for him.

Core Traits: Aggressive and a smooth talker; Michael does not wait for things to happen, he makes them happen. He is heartbroken and bitter over the events that he has experienced after coming to America and he doesn’t want to give up on his dreams of a better life. He is well liked by his community and seen as a leader and a “go-to” person for help and advice.

Motivation; Want/Need: Michael wants to start a new life with Norah as his wife and without her children from her previous marriage. Michael needs to rebuild his life and fulfill his dreams of the life he wanted in America.

Wound: Michael lost his wife and baby in a horrible accident after living in America for a short time, when things were looking great for them. He has never recovered from the loss and has fixated on his childhood love, Norah, as the only way for him to live out a life that he wants. He will do anything to make it happen.

Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Likability: Michael is handsome and charming. He is someone we are intrigued by and we are introduced to him as a steadfast friend and happy helper. He is also very witty and always seems to say the right thing in social situations. Relatability: Michael cares deeply about the people in his life and his brokenness and turn to become a manipulative abuser is an evolution out of his own loss and failure to cope with it. We can all remember feeling like we wanted to cling to something or someone that we could not have. We have all had a broken heart and longed for a relationship or a person that we couldn’t have. Empathy: Michael is obviously in grief over his own loss and struggling with his desire for Norah even though he knows it’s wrong. We want him to make the right choice and when he doesn’t we want him to change.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…All characters are stronger when they are nuanced. Just because someone does something bad, that doesn’t mean there cannot be good or even great and likable aspects to their personality. Just because someone is basically good, that doesn’t mean they cannot have dark secrets.

Brainstorm one or more ways you can present your Protagonist through each of these: Norah/mother trying to be reunited with her children.

Likability: Norah has a big heart and loves people. She is always serving people. She seeks out the downtrodden and broken and tries to lift them up. Her love for her children and her husband shines through, as well as her extended family. She has a sweet relationship with her mother and father.

Relatability: Norah is the kind of person we all wish we could be and that we admire and value in our lives. She reminds us of a favorite aunt/cousin/sister/grandmother.

Empathy: When Norah loses her husband and then her children, we are devastated for her. It is hard to see and we want to take away her pain.

Just to get the experience, give us one or more ways that your Antagonist could be presented through each of these: Michael/manipulative best friend who has ulterior motives.

Likability: Michael is handsome and charming. He is someone we are intrigued by and we are introduced to him as a steadfast friend and happy helper. He is also very witty and always seems to say the right thing in social situations.

Relatability: Michael cares deeply about the people in his life and his brokenness and turn to become a manipulative abuser is an evolution out of his own loss and failure to cope with it. We can all remember feeling like we wanted to cling to something or someone that we could not have. We have all had a broken heart and longed for a relationship or a person that we couldn’t have.

Empathy: Michael is obviously in grief over his own loss and struggling with his desire for Norah even though he knows it’s wrong. We want him to make the right choice and when he doesn’t we want him to change.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Character Intrigue

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…There can be many layers of intrigue surrounding characters that is never actually spoken in the script but will add much depth to the story.

For each of your main characters, use this list to brainstorm one or more Intrigue items that might apply. You don’t need all of them; just one or two.

Character Name: Norah

Role: Protagonist/Mother trying to reunite with her children

Hidden agendas: In a scary and rough world, Norah is willing to put up with some of Michaels tricks in exchange for his protection, an unspoken quid pro quo.

Competition:

Conspiracies:

Secrets: She is a genius who is smarter than the average person but doesn’t want to be singled out so she hides her abilities.

Deception:

Unspoken Wound: Norah’s sister went missing when she was a small child and she never recovered from the sense of loss.

Secret Identity:

How it might show up in the script: We see Norah making very fast calculations or having a great memory or ability to understand complex things, but then very quickly change the subject or avoiding the situation. Norah confronts Michael on his manipulation and then goes along with it. Norah talks about her sister that she has never seen after their childhood and we can hear the sorrow and loss.

Character Name: Michael

Role: Antagonist/secretly manipulating Norah’s life for his purpose

Hidden agendas: He has always wanted to be with Norah but left Ireland when she decided to marry Doyle. He will do anything to have her as his wife and has deluded himself into thinking this is what is best for her.

Competition: He is best friends with Doyle on the surface but festers with jealousy and anger that he ended up with his love. Norah is his ultimate prize, he is always competing for her and willing to play dirty.

Conspiracies:

Secrets: Michael knows what happened to Norah’s sister and never told her the truth. He was responsible for her going missing in Ireland and never got over the guilt.

Deception: He tricks Norah and Doyle into thinking he has their best interests at heart. The root of his deceptive personality began in Ireland when Bridget went missing. He learned the power of lying and manipulation and the pattern continued and escalated.

Unspoken Wound: He is heartbroken over his love marrying his friend. He had a wife when he first came to America and a baby, who both died and he has never told anyone.

Secret Identity: Michael is the opposite of what he appears to be.

How it might show up in the script: Michael lies and then we see the truth immediately before or after he presents his version of events; We know that he has tricked Doyle and made him disappear; A reveal of what happened to Norah’s sister after she is reunited with her kids?; Backstory – he confesses his pain after seeing Norah and Doyle marry; what else might he confess?

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Subtext Characters

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…Subtext is fun and there are always more layers you can add to the characters to make them come to life.

With your example movie, give us the following answers for the character with the most subtext:

Movie Title: Glengarry Glen Ross

Character Name: Richard Roma (Al Pacino)

Subtext Identity: He is the number one salesperson in the office but he manipulates people with psychological tricks to close the sale.

Subtext Trait: Rage issues, a need to close sales that is extreme.

Subtext Logline: Richard Roma is a top salesperson but doesn’t have any scruples in the manner in which he closes a sale and he hides a temper and rage issues under his surface, good natured friend persona.

Possible Areas of Subtext: His relationships with fellow sales people; his interactions with potential customers; his mannerisms as he does normal things in the community like eating in a restaurant. He even does that with a air of suppressed rage, like a caged animal.

For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:

Character Name: Norah

Subtext Identity: An educated woman that hides her abilities to fit into her social class and community; calculation that it’s not worth it and would single her out in a bad way.

Subtext Trait: Hiding her intelligence and abilities; Angry at her circumstances and regretful of leaving her home for this new life that is filled with turmoil. She would never say that because she is so well-mannered and striving to be positive for her children.

Subtext Logline: Norah is an intelligent and capable woman who has made the calculation that she must hide her true talents and mental acuity in order to blend into her community.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Interaction with her neighbors and co-workers; Teaching her kids to read and write in secret; Reading books and visiting libraries on her own; sending telegrams to her home, but always with good news.

Character Name: Michael

Subtext Identity: Manipulator and has a hidden agenda to control Norah and make her his wife.

Subtext Trait: Lies but with grace and very convincing; Always has a plan that is known only to him but occasional slips serve as easter eggs for the audience. He is nearly perfect at keeping things looking normal and sometimes healthy on the surface.

Subtext Logline: Michael is a wonderful friend and protector on the surface but has manipulated Norah and her life since his introduction to her in the new world.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Dialogue with Norah and Doyle; Scenes of Michael at work or with other contacts showing shady dealings but we don’t know what; Interactions with Norah’s kids; Behaviors that are OCD like repeatedly washing things; keeping items just so in his home; walking on the same side of the street every time, etc.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Actor Attractors

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…there is always a new way to elevate a concept or character.

Movie Title: “Torn Away” (or “Orphan Train”…rethinking title)

Lead Character Name: Norah

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?

Norah transforms from a simple, happy wife to an abused and willing victim to a triumphant heroine in the course of the story.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?

She makes decisions that are baffling and maddening to the audience, and she grows in confidence and ultimately triumphs.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?

She protects herself and retaliates against the person that is abusing her. But even more interesting and baffling is the point that she stays with Michael after she learns that he is responsible for all of the bad things happening in her life. She becomes the willing victim.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?

She is introduced as a lovely young positive and beautiful woman who has the world at her fingertips and is embarking on an exciting journey with tons of promise and mystery. The whole scene is brimming with excitement and she is the center of attention.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?

She runs the gamut of emotion – hope, excitement, deep love, despair, desperation, abuse, pain, loss, mourning, blankness/emptiness, hope and strength/rage.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

Why does she make the decisions she makes and what will she do next? The unconventional story twists will keep the audience guessing. The audience will be disappointed in her and sad for her at many times in the movie but will ultimately be rewarded because of her bravery and triumph in the end.

7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?

Her relationship with the antagonist, Michael. He is at times her best friend, savior, love interest, torturer, and ultimate abuser.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?

She is extraordinarily graceful and full of class. She brings a high degree of beauty wherever she goes, even in the midst of her crowded, dirty tenement. She loves fresh flowers and always uses them in her home, and always presents them to people as a token of her love. She is wonderfully sincere and very sweet, even in the midst of trials.

9. What makes this character special and unique?

She is well-educated and speaks with an air of confidence and eloquence that is uncommon for the immigrants of her area and social class.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Actor Attractors for Movie: Glengarry Glen Ross

<font face=”arial, sans-serif”>My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought-after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.</font>

<font face=”arial, sans-serif”>What I learned from doing this assignment is…It is interesting and educational to watch movies with an eye towards character development. </font>

Movie Title: Glengarry Glen Ross

Lead Character Name: Richard Roma (Al Pacino)

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?

He says the most shocking and eloquent things. He exudes confidence. He has all the answers.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?

The contrast between him and his confidence and all of the other panicked salesmen that just reek of desperation.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?

He makes his job about deep philosophical issues, not selling real estate.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?

He sachets into the bar with an air of superiority and gives everyone a monologue on how ridiculous they are.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?

He goes from schmoozing sales prospects to being rage filled when he is potentially faced with losing his top sales prize.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

He is in the lead. He knows he can sell. He is playing with everyone for sport because he is in the top position and he can.

7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?

Dave (Ed Harris) – they are both strong personalities and there is some extreme tension through the movie that no one understands.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?

He is obviously an educated man, because he has extensive vocabulary but he is also very “street” because he cusses and threatens people with abandon.

9. What makes this character special and unique?

He has a subtext of desperation when pushed even though he seems so smooth on the surface and makes every scene where he is closing seem so easy.

10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)

Argument with Ed Harris after the robbery at the office, they reach the height of anger and scream at each other and Roma ends up getting the best of him. He seems to delight in pushing his buttons.

[Melissa Barreca]

WIM Melissa Barreca’s Genre Conventions

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…This was a good strategic way to see what my characters need to do within the story to make this fully pay off for the audience.

Title: Torn Away

Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted by a loving family…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

Genre: Drama

CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA

CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY

HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN

EMOTIONALLY RESONATES

CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS

REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS

Four Act Transformational Structure from lesson 5

Act 1:

Opening –

Bonus scene/foreshadowing: Children are being shown to prospective parents at orphan train stops. We meet the kindly grandfather figure, adoption agent and some of the children on the trains.

An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. We meet Norah and Doyle, with two kids, a toddler girl and a five year old boy.

Arrival in America. We meet Michael, Doyle’s childhood best friend. Settling in a new land. Getting jobs. Getting a tenement apartment. We see the poor street children. Norah wants to help them.

Inciting Incident

Things are hard. The apartment life is dismal. Doyle works too much. There is not enough money.

Doyle is killed at the factory. Norah must find a job and find help with the children. Michael comes to her aid.

Turning Point

Michael offers help to Norah. He slowly takes the place of Doyle.

He (secretly) arranges for children to be taken on an orphan train while Norah is working and is “injured” on the job – an injury he also arranged in secret.

Act 2:

New plan

Norah discovers her children are missing.

Michael feigns concern and is helpful on the surface.

Norah will find them if it’s the last thing she does.

Plan in action

Norah asks questions and Michael does his best to throw her off the trail.

Norah tracks down several dead ends before finally meeting the adoption agent who knows about her children.

Midpoint Turning Point

Michael is discovered by Norah! She now knows that he is controlling, abusive and the reason her children were taken.

When she is just about to find the children, he threatens her life and flies of the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives.

Norah sinks into submission – she dares not cross Michael for fear for her safety and the kids. She is at a new low and has no idea what to do.

Act 3:

Rethink everything

We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Michael to lord over her.

A chance meeting with the kindly adoption agent changes her mind and reinvigorates her resolve.

New plan

Norah hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents.

Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a nanny and he can get her the job and keep her secret.

She decides to leave Michael in secret and go to the home of the children/new family and become their Nanny.

The plan succeeds. Norah is reunited with her children. Things seem to be working out.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

Michael finds her.

He comes to her from the shadows when she is alone in the yard. He drags her away with the intent to kill her.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

Michael takes Norah to a barn at the edge of the yard. He beats her and abuses her. When he is about to rape her, a shot rings out.

Doyle is in the shadows. He is alive.

It is revealed that he had been taken into indentured servitude to work off a debt beause of some bad dealings with Doyle. He worked off the debt and was ashamed to return directly to his family when he learned what had happened to them, and had been staying in the shadows in the barn and observing them, waiting for the right time to reappear.

Resolution

The violent killing brings the whole family into the barn (adoptive parents, other servants, not the kids who are napping).

Norah’s identity is revealed. Doyle’s story is revealed. The family accepts this and a new, non-traditional family is born.

They agree to allow Norah, Doyle and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family. Doyle can manage their land. The adoption agent is a defacto grandpa that visits often.

Four Act Transformational Structure – lesson 6, with added DRAMA conventions:

Act 1:

Opening –

Bonus scene/foreshadowing: Children are being shown to prospective parents at orphan train stops. We meet the kindly grandfather figure, adoption agent and some of the children on the trains.

An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. We meet Norah and Doyle, with two kids, a toddler girl and a five year old boy We see how Norah and Doyle are sweet and good natured people who really love each other, their children and their families. We care about them and their journey. We want them to succeed.

Arrival in America. We meet Michael, Doyle’s childhood best friend. We think Michael is nice and the meeting is fun and familiar. He seems safe and familiar in a confusing world.

Settling in a new land. Getting jobs. Getting a tenement apartment. We see the poor street children. Norah wants to help them. Our hearts are wrenched by the reality of what they encounter in the new world versus their high hopes. And we care about the poor street children and their plight, lamenting that there isn’t more that can be done to help this crush of humanity in the indsutrial age.

Inciting Incident

Things are hard. The apartment life is dismal. Doyle works too much. There is not enough money. They find they are pregnant and have a baby girl. Despite our hardships, we still have our love and our hope for the future; This shines through in the interactions between Norah, Doyle and their many neighbors who share their plight.

Doyle is killed at the factory. This is a horrible tradgedy and we see Norah’s heart broken in the most painful and gut-wrenching way. What will she do with these children? How will she survivie without her family in a strange new world.

Norah must find a job and find help with the children. Michael comes to her aid. Norah is still determined to push forward and be strong for her children. She is hurthing and we know this. But she is trying to keep it together. Michael is a familiar friend and she has to take his help, she has no choice. And he seems nice.

Norah’s older children begin to spend time on the street and try to earn money to help the family – they are eight and five years old.

Norah loses her infant daughter to malnutrition. This is an agonzing blow that changes Norah. The light has gone from her eyes. She is walking in pain and can barely cope.

Turning Point

Michael offers help to Norah. He slowly takes the place of Doyle. Norah is numb after the death of Doyle and her daughter. She is pliable to the will of Michael and becomes his ward along with her remaining children. She is in a depressed state.

We see more of the children working on the street. We meet some of their friends and we learn about the plight of poor children on the streets of NYC during the beginning of the industrial age and the emergence of orphan trains.

He (secretly) arranges for children to be taken on an orphan train while Norah is working and is “injured” on the job – an injury he also arranged in secret. We begin to see Michael really becoming the villan and we are outraged at his treatment of Norah, and even more, we are devestated that Norah is putting up with it and allowing Michael to mistreat her and her children, but we also sympathize. She really has almost no choice.

Act 1 – Post scene – children on the street, we know them

Act 2:

New plan

Norah discovers her children are missing. Our heart breaks for her all over again

Michael feigns concern and is helpful on the surface. We know Michael is not to be trusted and we are helpless as we watch Norah allow him to manipulate her while we know his true character and motives.

Norah will find them if it’s the last thing she does. There is a spark moment – something that Michael says that reminds her of Doyle and her old life with the children. It lights a fire in her and reminds her of what used to be. She becomes convicted that she will do something.

Plan in action

Norah asks questions and Michael does his best to throw her off the trail. We watch Norah finally start to wake up to Michael’s true motivations, but it is agaonizingly slow. Every time she asks a question, we cheer. But when she doesn’t push further, we are so frustrated. She is so close to figuring ths out.

Norah tracks down several dead ends before finally meeting the adoption agent who knows about her children. This is a pivotal moment emotionally and within the story. We have seen this man at work with the children and we know he is good. We can be gratified to see him connecting with Norah. We know he will care and do whatever he can to help.

Midpoint Turning Point

Michael is discovered by Norah! This is a major breakthrough for the audience. We are doing high-fives. Thank goodness she figured him out. She now knows that he is controlling, abusive and the reason her children were taken. This must be a big reveal and a dramatic moment.

When she is just about to find the children, he threatens her life and flies of the handle in a drunken rage. Despair again. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives.

Norah sinks into submission – she dares not cross Michael for fear for her safety and the kids. She is at a new low and has no idea what to do. This is the point where we get a little angry with Norah, our heroine. How could she know who Michael is and STILL allow him to control and manipulate her? We are discusted by her weakness, but it rings true with the human condition.

Act 2 – Post Scene – more happenings on the orphan trains, with kids we know, following their journeys

Act 3:

Rethink everything

We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Michael to lord over her. Truly a low point and hopefully we won’t all abandon Norah in discust, but will look at her and think about all of the times we have been weak and allowed people to take advantage of us.

A chance meeting with the kindly adoption agent changes her mind and reinvigorates her resolve. This is moment that is filled with fate – this was not a chance meeting in reality but something that was “meant to be”. It is as if Norah is being nudged to do the right thing and somehow led down the right path.

New plan

Norah hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents. Creative, “aha moments” here for everyone. The creative thiniing here just might work.

Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a nanny and he can get her the job and keep her secret. This is too good to be true. The first time we have felt hope in a while in this story. It should be celebrated.

She decides to leave Michael in secret and go to the home of the children/new family and become their Nanny. We are a little scared for her, but so proud of her bravery. How will she do it? Will it work? Will she get caught?

The plan succeeds. Norah is reunited with her children. Things seem to be working out. This first meeting with her children again has to be an epic scene. We will cry major tears of joy as this mom is back with her kids at last.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

Michael finds her. He has been tracking her since she left, lurking in the shadows, waiting for her moment. We are shocked to see him again because we thought she had lost him, but it makes sense that he was able to find her since he has been such a stalker up to this point. It’s a little bit of a “duh” moment. She let her guard down too much. She should have known he was capable of this.

He comes to her from the shadows when she is alone in the yard. He drags her away with the intent to kill her. Why doesn’t she scream and fight? She is in shock and doesn’t want to get the kids or the nice family involved. She is still calculating how to get out of this and processing what is happening.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

Michael takes Norah to a barn at the edge of the yard. He beats her and abuses her. When he is about to rape her, he is hit on the head by a large board from the barn. When we see Michael on the ground, we actually see he is bleeding out from a knife wound. Norah had a knife. She was not as naive as we thought. She had been ready for him but had to get the knife out and wait until they were away from the kids.

Doyle is in the shadows. He is alive. He was the one who attacked Michael with the board. He was also coming to her aid. He is so filled with regret, sadness, worry, panic, this is an emotionally charged moment for both of them and the ultimate climax of all of the emotions they have felt.

It is revealed that he had been taken into indentured servitude to work off a debt because of some bad dealings with Doyle. He worked off the debt and was ashamed to return directly to his family when he learned what had happened to them, and had been staying in the shadows in the barn and observing them, waiting for the right time to reappear. This reveal happens in the kitchen after the police have arrived. We don’t know until after the mess with Michael is over what actually happened to Doyle.

Resolution

The violent killing brings the whole family into the barn (adoptive parents, other servants, not the kids who are napping).

Norah’s identity is revealed. Doyle’s story is revealed. The family accepts this and a new, non-traditional family is born.

They agree to allow Norah, Doyle and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family. Doyle can manage their land. The adoption agent is a grandpa figure that visits often. Happiness, joy and a belief that all of our trials can end in triumph.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Four-Act Transformational Structure

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…the story just flowed and I like the outline. There is a lot to do in a short amount of time/pages, but I think the outline will help tremendously in keeping the story on track.

Title: Torn Away

Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

Main Conflict: Her children are torn away from her by an abusive and controlling man, in secret and she must figure this out and find them.

Old Ways: Submissive, Does Not speak out for herself and children, Fearful, weak, Unable or unwilling to take action

New Ways: Confident. Advocates effectively for herself and her children. In control. Wise and savvy to the ways of the world and hidden motives.

Four Act Transformational Structure

Act 1:

Opening –

Bonus scene/foreshadowing: Children are being shown to prospective parents at orphan train stops. We meet the kindly grandfather figure, adoption agent and some of the children on the trains.

An immigrant family helps their daughter and son-in-law pack and depart for America. We meet Norah and Doyle, with two kids, a toddler girl and a five year old boy.

Arrival in America. We meet Michael, Doyle’s childhood best friend. Settling in a new land. Getting jobs. Getting a tenement apartment. We see the poor street children. Norah wants to help them.

Inciting Incident

Things are hard. The apartment life is dismal. Doyle works too much. There is not enough money.

Doyle is killed at the factory. Norah must find a job and find help with the children. Michael comes to her aid.

Turning Point

Michael offers help to Norah. He slowly takes the place of Doyle.

He (secretly) arranges for children to be taken on an orphan train while Norah is working and is “injured” on the job – an injury he also arranged in secret.

Act 2:

New plan

Norah discovers her children are missing.

Michael feigns concern and is helpful on the surface.

Norah will find them if it’s the last thing she does.

Plan in action

Norah asks questions and Michael does his best to throw her off the trail.

Norah tracks down several dead ends before finally meeting the adoption agent who knows about her children.

Midpoint Turning Point

Michael is discovered by Norah! She now knows that he is controlling, abusive and the reason her children were taken.

When she is just about to find the children, he threatens her life and flies of the handle in a drunken rage. He wants her to himself. He doesn’t want the children in their lives.

Norah sinks into submission – she dares not cross Michael for fear for her safety and the kids. She is at a new low and has no idea what to do.

Act 3:

Rethink everything

We see Norah live in fear. She doesn’t know what to do and is allowing Michael to lord over her.

A chance meeting with the kindly adoption agent changes her mind and reinvigorates her resolve.

New plan

Norah hatches a plan. She cannot support the kids. Her adoption agent has assured her that the kids are happy in a home of wealthy and loving parents.

Adoption agent reveals that the family is looking for a nanny and he can get her the job and keep her secret.

She decides to leave Michael in secret and go to the home of the children/new family and become their Nanny.

The plan succeeds. Norah is reunited with her children. Things seem to be working out.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift

Michael finds her.

He comes to her from the shadows when she is alone in the yard. He drags her away with the intent to kill her.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict

Michael takes Norah to a barn at the edge of the yard. He beats her and abuses her. When he is about to rape her, a shot rings out.

The adoption agent is in the shadows. He had come to check on the family and saw the violent episode, snuck into the barn and took aim.

Resolution

The violent killing brings the whole family into the barn (adoptive parents, other servants, not the kids who are napping).

Norah’s identity is revealed. The family accepts this and a new, non-traditional family is born.

They agree to allow Norah and the kids to stay, and Norah can raise them as part of one big extended family. The adoption agent is a grandpa figure that visits often.

[Melissa Barreca]

WIM Melissa Barreca’s subtext plot

<b data-removefontsize=”true” data-originalcomputedfontsize=”16″>My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought-after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned…this story could be successfully told with a few different subtext choices, I just need to pick one. I suspect that is usually the case.

Title: Torn Away

Subtext Plot choice: Superior position. The audience will see the devious actions of Michael in getting Norah’s children taken from her and placed on the orphan train for adoption. Norah will find out midway through the script and we will watch as she responds and turns the tables.

[Melissa Barreca]

WIM – Melissa Barreca’s Transformational Journey

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

Title: Torn Away

Concept: A soft spoken Irish immigrant in 1920s New York loses her husband and then her children who are sent away on an orphan train and adopted by separate families in different towns…but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

Character Structure: Dramatic triangle

Protagonist Character: Norah (O’Brien) Murphy

Logline: Norah is the beautiful, kind and trusting daughter of a poor farming family in Ireland, who happily supported their daughter, her husband Doyle Murphy, and their children on the decision to emigrate to America for a better life. Nora is a smart, tough but also delicate and feminine woman, who devoted her energy to her family.

Unique: When Doyle dies in a factory accident, Norah is left to raise her children on her own, and family friend Michael steps in to help the family survive. Norah has low self-esteem, and allows herself to be controlled by the men in her life, and we see her continuously make decisions to trust and follow the lead of men who do not have her best interest at heart, chief among them, Michael Kilcullen.

Arc Beginning: Norah is submissive and naive, allowing herself to be manipulated and controlled by an overbearing and abusive man. She loses everyone important to her and doesn’t have the strength or agency to fight for her children.

Arc Ending: Norah is strong and in control of her and her children’s destiny.

Internal Journey: From weak, low self-esteem victim, to strong and confident advocate for herself and her children.

External Journey: From a captive and controlled woman whose children have been taken, to reuniting with her children and starting a new life on her own terms.

Old Ways:

• Submissive
• Does Not speak out for herself and children
• Fearful, weak
• Unable or unwilling to take action

New Ways:

• Confident.
• Advocates effectively for herself and her children.
• In control.
• Wise and savvy to the ways of the world and hidden motives.

[Melissa Barreca]

Title: Torn Away

Concept: Three siblings lose touch with their parents in 1920s New York City and are sent on an orphan train to the Midwest where they are adopted by different families in three different towns but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

Character Structure: Dramatic triangle

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell, important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

Protagonist Character: Norah (O’Brien) Murphy

Logline: Norah is the beautiful, kind and trusting daughter of a poor farming family in Ireland, who happily supported their daughter, her husband Doyle Murphy, and their three children on the decision to emigrate to America for a better life. Nora is a smart, tough but also delicate and feminine woman, who devoted her energy to her family.

Unique: When Doyle dies in a factory accident, Norah is left to raise her children on her own, and Michael steps in to help the family survive. For unknown reasons, Norah has low self-esteem, and allows herself to be controlled by the men in her life, and we see her continuously make decisions to trust and follow the lead of men who do not have her best interest at heart, chief among them, Michael Kilcullen.

Antagonist Character: Michael “Killer” Kilcullen

Logline: Killer is a handsome and charming worker in a factory in New York’s garment district, who after coming to America has been promoted up the ladder and become a shift leader and influential member of the Irish community in NYC. He is the former best friend of Doyle Murphy, who advised him to bring his family to America to start a new life. He got the nickname Killer because of his last name (obviously) and his killer instincts and willingness to fight anyone that crosses him or his friends.

Unique: Michael has been “in love” with Norah since they were children, but when his best friend married her, he resigned himself to being a supportive friend and had the honest intention of doing so. But after moving on to a new life in America, Michael’s wife and child die “in an accident” and he becomes a sick and twisted individual, unable to deal with the grief. We see how his grief becomes a fixation on his former love, Norah, and he draws her into a web of lies in order to control her and use her to fill the painful void of loss.

Triangle Character: “Grandpa” Jack Delaney

Logline: Grandpa Jack is a kind-hearted adoption worker responsible for the placement of hundreds of needy children into loving homes throughout the midwest from orphan train trips that he organized with his wife, “Grandma” Helen Delaney.

Unique: They are beloved by the children and families and take great care to follow up with them and ensure that they are doing well. Grandpa Jack’s knowledge and effort on behalf of the children gives Norah hope that she will be reunited with her children, but with Michael as the go-between, messages are often not delivered correctly, and unnecessary problems ensue. It’s Grandpa Jack that begins to chip away at the control that Michael has over Norah, and eventually reunites her with her children.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca’s Title, Concept and Character Structure.

Title: Torn Away

Concept: Three siblings lose touch with their parents in 1920s New York City and are sent on an orphan train to the Midwest where they are adopted by different families in three different towns but their mother will not stop looking for them until the family is brought back together.

Character Structure: Dramatic triangle

My vision: Melissa Barreca is one of the most sought after writers in the movie industry because of the artistry of her writing, professionalism and exceptional ability to tell, important, entertaining, joyful, and heartbreaking stories that inspire audiences and become legendary classics.

What I learned from doing this assignment: I’m not overwhelmed at all about the concept of writing the script, and some of the other ideas that I have developed over the course of the last few months based on germs of ideas that I had previously come up with and some new things the class has brought out. I’m very excited to learn new skills and put all of these ideas into workable scripts.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Melissa Barreca.

[Melissa Barreca]

Melissa Barreca – I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Melissa Barreca]

Hi! 1. Name? Melissa Barreca

2. How many scripts you’ve written? I have no less than 40 in development and I haven’t finished a single one.

3. What you hope to get out of the class? I have plenty of story ideas and lots of notes and half- written scripts but I need to get to the point where I choose a few of them to complete and begin my official career as a writer. Very excited to take action!

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I’m obsessed with buying books and I cannot stop myself! I have hundreds. I love making jewelry and handmade soaps. I’ve been married 24 years and I have four kids. I just learned how to solve a Rubik’s cube. I have two ridiculously cute dogs. I hate velvet. I’m left handed. I live in the Midwest and actually like it.

[Melissa Barreca]

Veronica, if you haven’t already found someone I would be happy to exchange. I just finished lesson 10 from module 4 tonight, so it’s hot off the presses. My email is mbarreca99@gmail.com if you want to exchange.

[Melissa Barreca]

“Call Your Mother” had to be another title in consideration. 😂

[Melissa Barreca]

Kinda feel like you should be getting some sort of royalty for “eye IP” in that movie, Brian.

[Melissa Barreca]

Nice to meet you, Paul. You have a fascinating background and I am sure all of that experience will be amazing for your writing projects.

[Melissa Barreca]

I’m in St. Louis, Missouri. So, not rural. Midwestern city. But I’ve lived in Phoenix and Las Vegas and also loved the southwest.