Mhmd AbuRayan
Forum Replies Created
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Mhmd’s Projects and Insights
a. An idea I would like to create.
A castaway movie but on a cloud. A contained Thriller film with a budget range $1 – $5 million. It’s about an astronaut returning to deliver fateful recordings; But his capsule crashes on top of a cloud. He has to survive above the cloud and then from the cloud to the ground before it is too late, not knowing that the cloud is just a nest of great danger.
b. A finished script.
It’s a true story Drama, titled ‘The Staff of Moses’, and it’s a bout the impossible survival of a huge illegal immigration operation take place in the middle of the Mediterranean see. An immigrant chef assume the leadership of a fishing boat filled with 750 immigrants of different nationalities, that was abandoned by it’s crew leaving no supplies behind.
Budget range $1 – $5 million
– I learned from the opening teleconference: how to regain back my lost credibility and confidence. And it is easy and possible.
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Hi every one. My name is Mohamed Sayed Abu Rayan (Mhmd AbuRayan). Born and live in Egypt.
I wrote more than 10 scripts.
My vision for this class is to get to the right doors and make deals by writing assighments in Hollywood.
I discovered when I was 10 years old that I was born without the sense of smell. Before that, I didn’t know about a human sense like this!
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Mhmd S. AbuRayan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Mhmd’s Character Structure
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– this is all totally new for me and demands more work on lead characters.
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Protagonist: 84
Beginning: He performs his duties as a worker inside the colony.
Inciting Incident: He receives an order to join the sect, but he refuses.
Turning Point 1: He finds a direct threat: you join or you die, so he resists, survives and flees.
Act 2: Begins to indiscriminately target cult members and some complicit observers.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: He entraps Spider and uncovers (3)’s grand scheme.
Act 3: He develops a strategy quickly, recruit and qualify more.
Turning Point 3: 84 discovers that he is still part of Plan 3. He decides that the colony must be taken over.
Act 4 Climax: Decisive Showdown between 84 and 3.
Resolution: 84 absorbs No. 3 into his revolutionary plan, and now he is in control of the colony.
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Antagonist: 3
Beginning: 3 continues to prepare his scheme to escape from the colony and conquer the world.
Inciting Incident: His arrangements with some of the guards fail.
Turning Point 1: He resorts to an alternative route by recruiting 84 to help him escape. And it ends with the fall of his cult members.
Act 2: Decides to take control of the colony to ensure an exit from it.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint:
Act 3:
Turning Point 3:
Act 4 Climax: Decisive Showdown with 84.
Resolution: He is defeated and finds himself part of Scheme 84.
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Triangle: Spider
Beginning: A successful agent experiences professional failure and emotional loss.
Inciting Incident: He is offered a chance to recoup his losses with a covert operation to extract a former agent from the colony.
Turning Point 1: He agrees and performs preparatory surgery. And in the colony he discovers the former client and the secret cult.
Act 2: Engages in the sect, and the colony realm to solve the mission completion.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: He discovers 3’s scheme and decides to flee alone to warn the Outsiders. But 84 prevents him .
Act 3: He will have to face the scheme alone from within the colony.
Turning point 3: decides to ally with 84.
Act 4 Climax: Decisive Showdown between 84 and 3.
Resolution: The colony is under control until now.
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Mhmd’s Supporting Characters
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Sooner or later an important component like this can catch up.
Supporting Characters: 84’s brother, who is hidden behind the walls of the colony – an old secret agent who failed in his operation and remained imprisoned in the colony.
Background Characters: conjoined twins working within the colony – guards – watchers – followers of a secret cult.
Support 1:
Name: Tareed
Role: The brother of 84 who is hiding behind the walls of the colony.
Main purpose: It represents the fundamental reason behind the conflict between 84 and 3.
Value: Motivator poses an ongoing dilemma for 84 who struggles to find it again.
Support 2:
Name: Mahrouk
Role: An old secret agent who failed in his operation and remained imprisoned in the colony.
Main Purpose: To provide assistance at a critical time when he will tell Spider things that no one else will tell him.
Value: Developing the conflict that Spider is fighting and giving him a fateful solution.
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Mhmd’s Character Profiles Part 2
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Filling the blanks of Character Profiles generats alot of new actions inside the story.
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Character Name: 84
Role: Protagonist
High Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
This character’s journey: From loneliness outcast worker lurks within the colony, to a leader of the impregnable revolution within the colony.
The Actor Attractors for this character:
– The most intelligent and resourceful character, who has a massive transformational journey and advancement in a very dangerous world, becomes the unparalleled leader of a revolution.
– Every action, reaction, and decision includes an open possibility of alternative odds ready for processing and applicating.
– Unique body language. He has a constant sense of responsibility. Although he is the most dangerous character, he thinks of others.
Character Subtext: A working conjoined twin hiding his gift of perfect will and the secret about security gap.
Character Intrigue: Secrets; He hides his special mutation from the guards in order to survive inside the colony. He also keeps the secret of the gap that leads outside the sealed colony
Flaw: Undervalues himself although he is the most dangerous character in a very dangerous world.
Values: Honesty. Being your best.
Character Dilemma: He does not trust anyone, while he wants to gather followers.
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Character Name: 3
Role: Antagonist
High Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
This character’s journey: From someone who has a massive plan that can contain everything, to someone who is himself part of 84’s scheme.
The Actor Attractors for this character:
– He is the first of his kind, the head of a fearsome criminal cult, with a scheme to take over the entire world; All this within a colony in which no one is supposed to have a will or a decision of any kind.
– Hiding and moving everything behind the scenes.
Character Subtext: He is the head of a secret cult within the colony, with a grand and ambitious plan for world domination.
Character Intrigue: Hidden agendas; He has a secret plan to escape with his criminal cult from the colony, and colonize the world.
Flaw: Over-confidence in his schemes.
Values: Winning. Being your best.
Character Dilemma: Sacrificing 84’s lives while he desperately needed him in the larger scheme.
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Character Name: Spider
Role: Triangle character
High Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
This character’s journey: From an undercover agent haunted by the pain of old failure, whose mission is to abort the revolution, to a person reconciled with his loss, and a supporter of the revolution to protect the world from a greater danger.
The Actor Attractors for this character:
– Shaun Archer from Face Off, multiplied by 10.
– His high skills in adaptation and functioning despite his new physical condition, and his constant willingness to do anything for the sake of his mission.
Character Subtext: He is a secret agent who is transplanted into a colony.
Character Intrigue: Secret Identity; Secret Agent of the World Order.
Flaw: Can’t look at his fears about failure.
Values: Duty, Loyalty.
Character Dilemma: Putting down the revolution versus saving the world.
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Mhmd’s Character Profiles Part 1
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Filling the blanks of Character Profiles generates a lot of new actions inside the story.
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Character Name: 84
Role: Protagonist
High Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
This character’s journey: From loneliness outcast worker lurks within the colony, to a leader of the impregnable revolution within the colony.
The Actor Attractors for this character:
– The most intelligent and resourceful character, who has a massive transformational journey and advancement in a very dangerous world, becomes the unparalleled leader of a revolution.
– Every action, reaction, and decision includes an open possibility of alternative odds ready for processing and applicating.
– Unique body language. He has a constant sense of responsibility. Although he is the most dangerous character, he thinks of others.
Age range and Description: Nearly 20. Normal body with conjoined heads.
Core Traits: sneaky, shrewd.
Motivation; Want/Need:
– Want: to abort 3’s plans.
– Need: to survive.
Wound: His missing twin has been incorporated into an animal outside the colony, and he is afraid to meet him.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: He saves his colleagues from fatal mistakes, despite the danger of being exposed.
Relatability: Performs its work tasks avoiding being detected by observers.
Empathy: exposed to a fateful threat from 3’s followers.
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Character Name: 3
Role: Antagonist
High Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
This character’s journey: From someone who has a massive plan that can contain everything, to someone who is himself part of 84’s scheme.
The Actor Attractors for this character:
– He is the first of his kind, the head of a fearsome criminal cult, with a scheme to take over the entire world; All this within a colony in which no one is supposed to have a will or a decision of any kind.
– Hiding and moving everything behind the scenes.
Age range and Description: 40s. slightly overgrown. His clothes hide any indication of the shape of the adhesion and the organs attached to it.
Core Traits: immoral, cunning schemer, manipulative.
Motivation; Want/Need:
– Want: to lead a rebellion out of the colony.
– Need: to achieve just revenge.
Wound: carrying his dead twin in his body.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: His care for the followers of his sect.
Relatability: in front of a situation that is about to win or lose.
Empathy: Shocked by 84’s situation and sad about what he will have to do with him.
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Character Name: Spider
Role: Triangle character
High Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
This character’s journey: From an undercover agent haunted by the pain of old failure, whose mission is to abort the revolution, to a person reconciled with his loss, and a supporter of the revolution to protect the world from a greater danger.
The Actor Attractors for this character:
– Shaun Archer from Face Off, multiplied by 10.
– His high skills in adaptation and functioning despite his new physical condition, and his constant willingness to do anything for the sake of his mission.
Age range and Description: Mid 30s. A human surgically modified in the form of a venomous spider, a ruthless killer.
Core Traits: Sneaky, Undercover.
Motivation; Want/Need:
– Want: carry out his mission to discover and abort the scheme.
– Need: to prove his worth and make up for the previous loss.
Wound: There is a professional loss, then a huge emotional loss, and he is now on a mission whose real purpose is to try to prove his worth and regain his status.
Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability: Despite his tremendous ability to kill, he does not want to take 84’s life.
Relatability: He has to reconcile his secret primary mission with the cover missions with which he hides.
Empathy: The unspoken wound, emotional and physical.
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Mhmd’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– This brings a lot of details and potentials to characters and to the story.
To present my Protagonist:
Likability: He saves his colleagues from fatal mistakes, despite the danger of being exposed.
Relatability: Performs its work tasks avoiding being detected by observers.
Empathy: exposed to a fateful threat from 3’s followers.
To present my Antagonist:
Likability: His care for the followers of his sect.
Relatability: in front of a situation that is about to win or lose.
Empathy: Shocked by 84’s situation and sad about what he will have to do with him.
To present my Triangle character:
Likability: Despite his tremendous ability to kill, he does not want to take 84’s life.
Relatability: He has to reconcile his secret primary mission with the cover missions with which he hides.
Empathy: The unspoken wound, emotional and physical.
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Mhmd’s Character Intrigue
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– How lovely is hunting My Characters Intrigue layers!
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Character Name: 84
Role: Protagonist
Conspiracies: There is always a secret plan going on between two parties, these two parties are his two brains that are united by one mental system.
Secrets: He hides his special mutation from the guards in order to survive inside the colony. He also keeps the secret of the gap that leads outside the sealed colony, and what is worse is that he knows what there are horrors outside of it, but this is a secret that no one should know about, or for anyone to know that he knows it.
Hidden agendas: Later on, he will have his own secret plan and sophisticated counter-strategy in order to take control of the colony, and prevent them from leaving, without the others even realizing it.
How that character’s subtext might show up in my movie:
At any moment; The word he says, the action he takes, the decision he makes, is just one of his already ready arsenal of words, actions and decisions.
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Character Name: 3
Role: Antagonist
Hidden agendas: He has a secret plan to escape with his criminal cult from the colony, and colonize the world.
Competition: He is indeed the head of a secret criminal cult, but will do anything to fulfill his ambition to rule the world.
Conspiracies: He has plans in advance for almost everything; He plots with Spider to subdue 84, and he arranges to plot with 84 to get out of the colony if he succeeds in subduing him, and so on.
How that character’s subtext might show up in my movie: Everything he does, can be seen as a possible part of his plan. No one knows his ultimate ambition, and at the same time he will not hesitate to cross all red lines for that.
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Character Name: Spider
Role: Triangle character
Secrets: He is a secret agent implanted within the colony. Despite his remarkable skills that he shows, this is something that no one can know about.
Unspoken Wound: There is a professional loss, then a huge emotional loss, and he is now on a mission whose real purpose is to try to prove his worth and regain his status.
Secret Identity: Secret Agent of the World Order.
How that character’s subtext might show up in my movie: While he is carrying out criminal missions or planning with 3, he is careful to achieve what helps him in the mission for which he came. Perhaps he takes research steps about who killed some members of the sect, while he is the one who neutralized them when he suspected that they had revealed or doubted about him.
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Mhmd’s Subtext Characters
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– The more we go, the more dramatic opportunities continue to emerge.
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Movie Title: The Mountain Between Us
Character Name: Ben Bass
Subtext Identity: A brain surgeon who is traumatized by the death of his wife from brain cancer.
Subtext Trait: secretive, not taking risks, afraid of losing.
Subtext Logline: Ben is a brain surgeon who fears loss and doesn’t take non guaranteed risks.
Possible Areas of Subtext: caution in social relations, little initiative even in crucial matters, does not express his feelings and has negative behavior keeps him in the reaction zone, etc.
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For my leads:
Character Name: 84
Subtext Identity: A working conjoined twin with the gift of perfect will.
Subtext Trait: sneaky, shrewd.
Subtext Logline: 84 is a conjoined twin worker in a tightly controlled colony where no one should have any will, and he faces a scheme from some of his peers to subjugate his will.
Possible Areas of Subtext: keeping the gift he has secret, repelling any attempt to expose or blackmail him, preparing a counter-conspiracy along the way, keeping the last and decisive cards, procrastination, gradual or direct confrontation with those who want to subdue him, etc.
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Character Name: 3
Subtext Identity: Head of a secret, religious criminal cult within the colony.
Subtext Trait: immoral, cunning schemer, manipulative.
Subtext Logline: 3 is the head of a secret cult within the colony, with a grand and ambitious plan for world domination, but depends on 84.
Possible Areas of Subtext: every step is more or less within the scheme, no one should know its intentions, teachings can be invented daily to achieve the purposes of the scheme, every element of strength required must be incorporated, each soul subject to submission in the appropriate manner, etc.
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Character Name: Spider
Subtext Identity: A loyal secret agent
Subtext Trait: Sneaky, Undercover.
Subtext Logline: Spider is a secret agent who is transplanted into a colony where everything is deadly somehow.
Possible Areas of Subtext: making allies, engaging in shady business, facing the risk of exposure, having to kill or hide those whose identity he suspects, sacrificing some allies in order to complete the mission, going too far with helping the bad guys in order to get to the deepest point of the conspiracy.
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Mhmd’s Actor attractors!
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Character loglines, old/new ways and internal/external journeys provide a lot of answers here indeed.
Lead Character Name: 84
Role: Protagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
The most intelligent and resourceful character, who has a massive transformational journey and advancement in a very dangerous world, becomes the unparalleled leader of a revolution.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He is the most lethal element in the story. but nonetheless very considerate and always with a sense of responsibility. Always unexpected. Not to mention the constantly inventing linguistic structures and expressions.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He is unintentionally unexpected every step. He designs unprecedented strategies, inventing defensive and offensive movement systems with patterns that can only be achieved with the bodies of conjoined twins.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
In a really terrible and strange working atmosphere, everything and everyone around him could kill him, but he still survives, and at the same time he has to continue working without the attention of the guards and observers that he is conscious and has full will.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
From introversion to ostracism to vindictiveness to a sense of entitlement, all while always feeling responsible.
What subtext can the actor play?
Every action, reaction, and decision includes an open possibility of alternative odds ready for processing and applicating.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
His turbulent mutant relationship with Spider, as well as his mysterious relationship with beings outside the colony. The strangest thing is his relationship with himself and his levels of awareness.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Through higher level processing of ideas, values, decisions and strategies. This is due to the nature of his dual mental system.
What could make this character special and unique?
Unique body language. He has a constant sense of responsibility. Although he is the most dangerous character, he thinks of others.
Lead Character Name: 3
Role: Antagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
The person who has already completed his tight planning for everything. He knows about others what they do not expect him to know. he is Alexander the psychopath conjoined twin.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
He is the first of his kind, the head of a fearsome criminal cult, with a scheme to take over the entire world; All this within a colony in which no one is supposed to have a will or a decision of any kind.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He can find a place for anything in his puzzle.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Hiding and moving everything behind the scenes.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
Huge ambition, ruthlessness.
What subtext can the actor play?
He has plans that move those around him to implement them without revealing to them his intentions.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
His transformative fateful relationship with 84. His relationship with the followers of his sect.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Evil wisdom is always imperfect.
What could make this character special and unique?
The first of his kind. The theocratic vision for ruling and completely transforming the world.
Lead Character Name: Spider
Role: Triangle
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Shaun Archer from Face Off, multiplied by 10.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
External suffering in kinetic mechanics as a surgically modified conjoined twin, and internal suffering with conflicting different tasks.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
His high skills in adaptation and functioning despite his new physical condition, and his constant willingness to do anything for the sake of his mission.
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
A human in the form of a venomous spider, a ruthless killer.
What could be this character’s emotional range?
Pure loyalty to his primary mission, pretense of brutality, and empathy.
What subtext can the actor play?
He’s a dedicated undercover agent, so he says and does things and agrees to them, while having his own context for all of it.
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
His relationship with 84. His relationship with 3. And his relationship to his new, surgically modified organs.
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
You are all dangerous potential enemies, and I am the only chance to save the world from you.
What could make this character special and unique?
Dedication in performing the task, physical suffering with the consequences of modifying surgery, and the internal conflict between his assigned tasks in an environment in which he must not be exposed, neither as a secret agent, nor as a person who has independent consciousness and will.
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Mhmd’s Actor attractors for (The Island)
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– There are many films in the same category as my concept, I didn’t consider. Now it’s so important to analyze them.
Movie Title: The Island (2005)
Lead Character Name: Lincoln Six Echo.
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
A unique and exciting character driven by questions to free 5,000 lives from death in the medical colony.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
He has mounting questions and recurring nightmares that he seeks answers to. Everyone tells him he’s special, but he doesn’t know how. Every step he takes contributes to changing the fate of others’ lives. In the end, he saves 5,000 lives from a dark fate.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Escape from the colony. kissing scarlett. Driving almost everything.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
A thrilling and unusual introduction from inside the nightmare of implanted memory. All the details confirm that the character deviates from the usual pattern of each one around.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Testing confusion and successive discoveries, and experiencing love and sex for the first time. The original Lincoln feels differently than Six Echo. Then Six Echo emulates original Lincoln’s behavior.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
In every step or dialogue, He seeks to discover and deliver more truths at the same time.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
His relationship with Jordan, the Doctor (the main antagonist) and with original Lincoln.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
The character is innocent with real noble intentions, and this doesn’t prevent him from waging successive major struggles.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
He develops and adapts in a really remarkable speed.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
The opening scene, in which Lincoln Six Echo has a nightmare and then wakes up to see him deviate from a number of different parameters inside his room, then when ordering food, then with Jordan; Which shows that he is a different and special person.
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Mhmd’s Genre Conventions
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– At first glance it seems very tempting to work on 3 stories together more than one in the assignments; However, it turns out that focusing on one script is the most appropriate solution.
Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
Genre: Thriller
Conventions:
Purpose: Any thing or one could be lethal, how my hero survives? The villain is after him in order to know what knows even if it demanded to kill him. My hero doesn’t know yet that he is the most lethal element in here.
Life and death situations: every step through the journey above.
Mystery/ Intrigue/ Suspense/ Hero/ Villain: How could my hero be unintentionally unexpected every step? What my hero knows about or can do, no one else. What the villain knows about him exclusively and schemes relying on it.
Main emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation, and surprise.
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Act 1:
· Opening: Lethal mistakes happen a lot inside the conjoined twins colony. (84) carries out the work orders he receives as any wellnessless worker inside the colony. He has to survive every day from others’ mistakes and being discovered by guards as a free well one, otherwise he is an introvert. And while all the other twins obey what is asked of them by anyone, he refuses to obey the orders of the followers of (3) to join their gang.
· Inciting Incident: (3) orders (Spider) to target (84), who refuses to obey; either recruits him or kills him. No one knows why (3) insists that bad to get (84) in, even (3) himself; yet.
· Turning Point: Spider is alone with (84) and puts him in front of two options: either he will obey and join them, or he will be killed now. Spider severely injuresh (84), who nonetheless manages to escape. Will he escape out again from the gab that no one else knows about? He has to deliver some ones to death first and survive more dangerous things from now on. The physical pain now is nothing besides his feeling treachered. They did a great mistake!
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Act 2:
· New plan: To be declared (84) forsaked and wanted at the same time. He has no place or people he can trust but he can do a lot by moving undercover as a lone wolf who refuses to build up support from the utterly obedient workers who surround him everywhere he goes.
· Plan in action: (84) begins to neutralize gang members randomly and vandalize some of their places. But every time he does this, they put procedures in place so that he cannot return to the scene again. He decides to target Spider. Spider, on the other hand, is busy carrying out (3)’s sporadic, incomprehensible orders. (84) considers each of them a good opportunity to target him, but he misses the opportunity after other, and he does not realize that his mistakes are very important to (3) and exploits them in a vague way that those around him do not understand.
· Midpoint Turning Point: Finally (84) manages to catch Spider at an unexpected point, and Spider at that moment only cares about leaving in any way because there are much more serious matters and he has only one last chance to leave. And (84) cuts him off already. Spider reveals to him that he is an undercover agent and that his mission was to discover what is being schemed inside the colony, and that he thought (84) was responsible for this, so he did not hesitate to carry out (3)’s orders regarding him. Whereas it appeared to him later that there was a massive escape plan that had already started with (3)’s planning. And that there is a role for (84) that he was supposed to play if he had accepted to join. And no one else can fulfill this role. Now Spider has to go back to improvise and pretend to complete his role in Scheme of (3) as the only security breach that will be done in the Scheme.
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Act 3:
· Rethink everything: (84) re-evaluates everything after the cognitive shock he received from Spider. He decides to devise new and rapid strategies to recruit an increasing number of conjoined twins and builds them into contiguous formations that can respond and move in surprising ways like never before.
· New plan: Now he will move on a different scale to control the internal borders of the colony from the outskirts, in order to precede (3)’s plan, block the road for him and besiege him inside the colony.
· Turning Point: As soon as (84) is able to achieve control, he is surprised that this is what (3) wanted him to do, and that the recognized conditions in the colony mean that he is now just a cog in the (3)’s sweeping machine. He’s back in more crushed than he ever was.
.
Act 4:
· Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Now there is no solution but for him to be in sole control of the colony before the security forces from outside can regain control of it. And he has to go into direct confrontation with (3). He will secretly ally himself with Spider to thwart (3)’s plan and unite the groups equipped to escape. He will direct those with him to implement a new and crazy strategy.
· Resolution: (3) discovers that he and the security forces have become part of (84)’s last strategy, and that he now controls everyone. He unleashes his orders and tells them part of his vision, which has become open to unprecedented levels, and that he also has other goals that go beyond the colony. We will work to achieve it soon.
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Mhmd’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– It’s not just about my story. It’s about me, my potential pitch and combining skills.
Title: conjoined twin 84
Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
Main Conflict: The head of the religious criminal cult inside the colony, orders the undercover agent (Spider) to target the conjoined twin 84, who refuses to obey; either recruits him or kills him. And because 84 could not bear the idea of being treachered, he hides and forms and leads a rebellion to completely change states within the colony.
Old Ways:
Introverted coexistence.
Without a clear goal.
without vision
He has nothing to lose.
Limited liability within the scope of the assigned work.
Order taker.
New Ways:
Openness to unprecedented levels.
Great goals beyond the colony.
He has a grand vision of his own existence and his model for changing the world.
He has a lot he must protect.
Responsibility for many lives and their future in this world.
Command Prompter.
External Journey: from a worker who is no one cares about to a great leader.
Internal Journey: From loneliness and ostracism to leadership worthiness.
Act 1:
Opening: (84) carries out the work orders he receives as any worker inside the colony, otherwise he is an introvert. And while all the other twins obey what is asked of them by anyone, he refuses to obey the orders of the followers of (3) to join their gang.
Inciting Incident: (3) orders (Spider) to target (84), who refuses to obey; either recruits him or kills him.
Turning Point: Spider is alone with (84) and puts him in front of two options: either he will obey and join them, or he will be killed now. Spider severely injuresh (84), who nonetheless manages to escape. The physical pain now is nothing besides his feeling treachered. They did a great mistake!
Act 2:
New plan: To be declared (84) forsake and wanted at the same time. He has no place or people he can trust but he can do a lot by moving undercover as a lone wolf who refuses to build up support from the utterly obedient workers who surround him everywhere he goes.
Plan in action: (84) begins to neutralize gang members randomly and vandalize some of their places. But every time he does this, they put procedures in place so that he cannot return to the scene again. He decides to target Spider. Spider, on the other hand, is busy carrying out (3)’s sporadic, incomprehensible orders. He considers each of them a good opportunity for (84) to target him, but he misses the opportunity after other, and he does not realize that his mistakes are very important to (3) and exploits them in a vague way that those around him do not understand.
Midpoint Turning Point: Finally (84) manages to catch Spider at an unexpected point, and Spider at that moment only cares about leaving in any way because there are much more serious matters and he has only one last chance to leave. And (84) cuts him off already. Spider reveals to him that he is an undercover agent and that his mission was to discover what is being schemed inside the colony, and that he thought that (84) was responsible for this, so he did not hesitate to carry out (3)’s orders regarding him. Whereas it appeared to him later that there was a massive escape plan that had already started with (3)’s planning . And that there is a role for (84) that he was supposed to play if he had accepted to join. And no one else can fulfill this role. Now Spider has to go back and improvise and pretend to complete his role in Scheme of (3) as the only security breach that will be done in the Scheme.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: (84) re-evaluates everything after the cognitive shock he received from Spider. He decides to devise new and rapid strategies to recruit an increasing number of conjoined twins and builds them into contiguous formations that can respond and move in surprising ways like never before.
New plan: Now he will move on a different scale to control the internal borders of the colony from the outskirts, in order to precede (3)’s plan, block the road for him and besiege him inside the colony.
Turning Point: As soon as (84) is able to achieve control, he is surprised that this is what (3) wanted him to do, and that the recognized conditions in the colony mean that he is now just a cog in the (3)’s sweeping machine. He’s back in more crushed than he ever was.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Now there is no solution but for him to be in sole control of the colony before the security forces from outside can regain control of it. And he has to go into direct confrontation with (3). He will secretly ally himself with Spider to thwart (3)’s plan and unite the groups equipped to escape. He will direct those with him to implement a new and crazy strategy.
Resolution: (3) discovers that he and the security forces have become part of (84)’s last strategy, and that he now controls everyone. He unleashes his orders and tells them part of his vision, which has become open to unprecedented levels, and that he also has other goals that go beyond the colony. We will work to achieve it soon.
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Mhmd’s Subtext Plot
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Sometimes, empowerment can be done once I tell myself the complete sentence of State-To-Activity.
Title: conjoined twin 84
Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
Subtext Plots:
1. Scheme and Investigation:
The main character (84) is scheming and the under covered outsider (Spider) is investigating. Olso, the triangle character (3) has his own scheme for them both.
2. Someone Hides Who They Are:
The (Spider) as a new comer to the colony, he hide that he is a loyal agent to the outside system and he is here under covered for a specific purpose.
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Mhmd’s Transformational Journey
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Once you are involved in the process, everything becomes easy.
Title: conjoined twin 84
Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
84 (Protagonist)
Arc Beginning: an outcast worker lurks within the colony.
Arc Ending: Leader of the impregnable revolution within the colony.
Internal Journey: from loneliness and ostracism to leadership worthiness.
External Journey: from a worker who is no one cares about to a great leader.
Old Ways:
Introverted coexistence.
no clear goal.
no vision.
He has nothing to lose.
Limited liability within the scope of the assigned work.
Order taker.
New Ways:
Openness to unprecedented levels.
Great goals beyond the colony.
He has a grand vision of his own existence and his model for changing the world.
He has a lot he must protect.
Responsibility for many lives and their future in this world.
Command Prompter.
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Mhmd’s Intentional Lead Characters
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– Some steps requires commitment to be done well.
Title: conjoined twin 84
Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
Character: 84
Logline: A conjoined twin with two brains share in a single unified mind, who bases revolutionary actions inside the labor colony.
Unique: An impossible mutation, always unexpected.
Character: Spider
Logline: A Surgically modified supreme loyal agent, who is implanted inside the colony as a conjoined twin to thwart these action.
Unique: Highly skilled, will do anything to carry out his mission despite post-surgery complications.
Character: 3
Logline: The head of the secret religious and criminal sect “Children of the Holy Conjoined God”, who is trying to recruit Spider and exploit 84 for his own grand scheme.
Unique: He has a scheme to them both and more.
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Mhmd’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!
My Vision: I will keep creating constantly and effectively; in order to be the most demanded and influential glorified writer within the industry and with the audience.
What I learned from doing this assignment is..
– The five result versions of ‘Exchanging components to new concepts’ assignment could be a mini helpful arsenal here and this gave me the ready answer on the Character Structure.
Title: Conjoined twin 84
Concept: Shocking revolutionary actions escalate inside a labor colony of conjoined twins cut out of the will, underhandedly driven – with sudden and unexpected patterns- by a conjoined twin who has an impossible mutation.
Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle.
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Hi everyone,
My name is Mhmd AbuRayan.
I’ve written about 15 scripts.
I hope to unleash a new era in my career and master every skill of great screenwriters, starting write the most incredible and marketable script I can.
I’m about getting to 40 years old. I was sad not to be chosen by God as a prophet in some ancient era, then I had to live with that, and now I am happy that I wasn’t chosen. :))
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Mhmd AbuRayan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi Cheryl, Hal and other classmates.
I learned from the opening teleconference;
– Intelligence is the ability to learn.
– Keep searching what you you can learn next.
– I need to keep reading the success stories to get more insights every time.
– I should pick my photo that will be for my deal on SU Alumni Success page.
– Doing Kaizen. My job is to find some thing to improve everyday.
– Talking about the skill doesn’t mean that you can write it on the page.
– Stepping outside my own box, outside my comfort zone.
– Don’t try to get to the very top to get in.
– The job is to make some kind of deal when the time comes.
– I as a writer must understand how it goes as a business.
– Being psychological healthy along the way.
Thanks. <3
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Hi every one, I hope it’s not too late for this.
My name is Mhmd AbuRayan. I’m a screenwriter. Since 2005, I wrote 5 short scripts , 3 features, 1 uncomplete series and 4 documentaries.
During the pandemic, and after many years of being a screenwriter, I get to Hal’s Fridays free calls and I discovered that I’m not that good writer as I’ve been told. Every one of these calls gave me a lot of useful and insightful elements. Now, I’m targeting some of the platforms to turn my series in. So, I am here in Pro series because I believed this is the right way to get every thing done professionally, either inside the writing process or outside with the market.
I grew up in a radical environment. I watched no television, I was forbid of reading novels, and no one told me tales in my childhood; So I’m a self-made person who built his storytelling ability from scratch.
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Mhmd AbuRayan
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi Brandyn, I went to IMDB and read your bio. For me, you are a living miracle with a solid soul.
How inspirational!
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Mhmd AbuRayan.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by