Micah Delhauer
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MICAH’S OUTLINE VERSION 1
TITLE: THE JINX
LOGLINE: a man is cursed so that everyone around him suffers grave misfortune
OUTLINE:
1 EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
A boy and girl play near a barren hill on which sits an old house. An old woman warns them off going onto the property.
2 INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE – DAY
The Hermit sits in a chair, cursing a wryneck bird that perches on a chair, watching him.
3 INT. HOME – NIGHT
The boy’s Father explains that the Hermit isn’t bad but a very unlucky man.
4 EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The boy’s dog runs onto the property and the boy pursues. He suddenly feels cold. Other townsfolk call for the boy, but dare not go after him.
The boy’s leg plunges into a gopher hole and breaks. His dog comes to help, but is attacked and killed by a wolf. A pack of wolves surrounds the boy.
The Hermit leaves his house to aid the boy and is shot dead by the Father, who has retrieved a rifle. The wolves run off.
HORROR SITUATION: The boy unwittingly enters a zone of evil supernatural influence
Anxiety: The boy has been warned that it is dangerous to go onto the property, but does anyway.
Monster Reveal: The evil has a range of influence, identified by cold
Surprise: The boy’s leg goes into the gopher hole
Shock: The dog is attacked by a wolf and killed
Suspense: The wolves close in on the boy
Anguish: The townsfolk, including the boy’s parents, dare not go to help him
Shock: The Hermit is shot by the father
Monster Reveal: the evil is dispelled once the person it is tied to is killed
5 MONTAGE:
Felix narrates about the nature of luck as we see him enduring misfortunes throughout his life. As a child, he breaks his arm while playing little league and has to sit the big game out. In school, people pick on him. He never gets any dates. He finally makes it with a girl (Tina) at a college party. They become pregnant. They marry. Felix opens up a contract law office. Over time, the practice suffers and Felix and Tina get divorced. Finally, Felix is diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. The narration ends.
6 INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix sits alone, eating Chinese food and reading about inoperable tumors on the internet. He makes the comment that he wishes he could give someone else his luck right as he opens one of three fortune cookies. The fortune states: “You can.” Felix opens the next one. It reads: “Answer the door.”
There’s a faint tapping at the door.
7 EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
A wryneck bird surprises Felix. He goes back and gets the last cookie, opens it: “Make the deal.” Felix agrees to whatever deal the bird is offering. It attacks and scratches him, then disappears. The scratch is gone.
8 INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix looks at the fortunes; they’re all normal. He glances at the symptoms of brain tumors on his computer and sees “hallucinations.” He weeps.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix makes a deal with the Jinx.
Creepy Moment: The fortune cookies seem to be answering Felix’s thoughts.
Monster Reveal: a wryneck bird, like the one seen with the Hermit, is on the doorstep.
Creepy Moment: the last fortune cookie tells Felix to make a deal.
Surprise: Once Felix agrees to the ambiguous deal, the bird flies at him and scratches him.
Creepy Moment: the scratch disappears and the fortunes have become normal
Anguish: Felix thinks his tumor is causing him to hallucinate
9 INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina arrives to have Felix sign the divorce papers. She notes that it’s cold.
10 INT. CAR – DAY
June waits in the car, texting with her boyfriend.
11 INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina expresses concerns about June’s older boyfriend. She stubs her toe.
12 EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix goes to get the mail and talks to his neighbor. A mailman going by is drenched when the sprinklers come on. A passing car knocks the side mirror off the neighbor’s parked car.
13 INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
The doctor notes that it’s cold in his office. Felix tells him he’s been feeling a little better, and the doctor expresses that his treatment has been going much better than expected.
14 EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix is talking with his neighbor again, who notes that it’s cold near Felix, though his wife across the fence doesn’t feel it.
The neighbor’s brother-in-law begins to back out of the driveway, unaware that his five-year-old nephew is in his path. Felix sees this at the last second. The boy’s mother throws herself against the back of the car, being knocked down as her brother hits the brakes. Crisis averted.
HORROR SITUATION: the brother-in-law is about to back the car over a young child
Monster Reveal: the neighbor notes the cold near Felix, a telltale sign of the Jinx’s influence; however, his wife further away does not feel the cold.
Suspense: the brother-in-law gets in the car, not realizing his five-year-old nephew is directly behind the car in the driveway
Dread: the car backs toward the child
Shock: The boy’s mother jumps behind the car and is knocked down
Release: the brother-in-law slams on the breaks before the child is harmed.
15 INT. JUNE’S BEDROOM
June and Ivar make out. June has the idea to sneak out and go to a hotel
16 EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Establish dilapidated hotel in the shitty part of town. A pregnant woman, Candyce, gets a case out of her car and enters.
17 INT. LOBBY
Lily checks in an older man, Alfred, who insists on tipping her even though she says it’s against policy. He goes up to his room.
Candyce and her wife Nico check in. Nico is grumpy, Candyce lighthearted.
18 INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Alfred sits on the bed, looking sadly at a picture of his wife. There’s a gun in his suitcase.
19 INT. LOBBY
Nico, who doesn’t like elevators, asks where the stairs are. There are two staircase: one for the odd floors and one for the even floors.
20 INT. EVEN STAIRWELL
The stairs creak a lot as Nico ascends.
21 INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM
Tina calls. She doesn’t know where June is. Felix checks the tracker app on his phone and sees she’s gone to a hotel. He tells Tina he’ll take care of it.
22 INT. CANDYCE AND NICO’S ROOM
Candyce lights candles and tries to get Nico in a romantic mood.
23 EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – DAY
It’s cloudy overhead, thunder rumbling. Felix is waiting at a traffic light when a big rig turns on its side and crashes in the intersection, blocking the street to the hotel. No one is hurt.
HORROR MOMENT: a big rig crashes
Shock: the tire on the big rig blows
Suspense: it careens into the intersection, other cars swerving
Release: the driver climbs out, unharmed
Felix gets out of his car and jogs down the street to the hotel.
24 EXT. HOTEL – DAY
The wryneck watches as he enters.
25 INT. LOBBY
Lily’s pen leaks onto her hand as Felix approaches her. She notices a chill. Felix shows her June’s picture, asks if she’s in the hotel. Lily says she can’t divulge guest information. Felix tells her that if she doesn’t comply she’ll be party to statutory rape. A flustered Lily acquiesces.
26 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is on the phone with her mother when Felix comes off the elevator and suddenly her connection dies. She freaks when she sees a cockroach.
Felix hears the sounds of sex coming from a room and knocks on the door.
27 INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl and Autumn are having sex in their room. Their condom breaks and Autumn rushes to the bathroom.
28 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily tells Felix it’s the wrong room, and leads him to the correct one. Ivar answers the door in his boxers, surprised to see Felix, who pushes past him.
29 INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix finds June wrapped in a sheet and tells her to get dressed. Both she and Ivar try to explain, but Felix is having none of it. Ivar knocks over a lamp and sets it back up without the shade.
30 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The argument spills out into the hallway as Felix drags June away. Alfred enters the hallway and tries to calm everyone, advising Ivar to back down.
31 INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl snorts cocaine. Autumn re-enters and asks him what all the noise is outside.
32 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
All the others come to check on the scene. Alfred’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack. Mallory tells someone to call an ambulance while she gets something from her room.
33 INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory gets a medical thing, not realizing that a bottle of naxolone drops to the floor.
34 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory applies the medical thing to try and alleviate the attack. Felix gets off the phone, but remembers the accident at the intersection and realizes an ambulance won’t be able to get through. They decide to carry Alfred downstairs. The elevator busts. They have to take the stairs.
35 INT. EVEN STAIRWELL
As they head down, the stairwell collapses. Mallory nearly falls, but Felix and Ivar help her up.
36 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Alfred panics, says he’s not ready to die after all, fears there’s nothing on the other side. He dies.
HORROR SITUATION: Alfred has a heart attack and various accidents prevent anyone from getting him help
Shock: Alfred’s pacemaker fails and he begins having a heart attack
Suspense: Mallory runs to get him a medical thing that I’ll look up later
Anguish: Felix remembers that the intersection is blocked off and help won’t be arriving soon
Anxiety: the elevator busts; they are forced to take the stairs.
Shock: the staircase collapses
Terror: Mallory nearly falls to her death
Hysteria / Anguish: Alfred doesn’t want to die; everyone watches helplessly
Character Death: Alfred
Ivar comforts a frightened June, to her father’s vexation. Mallory is hit hard. She explains that she’s a former paramedic who quit because she got tired of seeing people die. She asks that they move Alfred out of the hallway.
37 INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
They lay him on the bed. Nico notices the gun.
38 EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – NIGHT
Police are trying to move the big rig, but it’s going to take time.
39 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix glances in a hallway mirror and sees his reflection start to become the Jinx.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix sees the Jinx for the first time
Creepy Moment: Felix sees his reflection begin to transform
Monster Reveal: the Jinx is bonded to Felix
People note the cold. Ivar goes to get a blanket for June.
40 INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix follows Ivar and talks to him about his relationship with June. Ivar trips and falls on the lamp, breaking the bulb which punctures his throat. Felix calls for help.
41 INT. HALLWAY
Mallory and June rush to the room.
42 INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Mallory tries to cover Ivar’s wound, but he dies. June and Mallory are suspicious of Felix.
HORROR SITUATION: A freak accident kills Ivar
Anxiety: we now know that it’s not safe to be around Felix
Shock: Ivar trips and impales his throat on the broken bulb
Suspense: Mallory rushes to give medical aid
Character Death: Ivar bleeds to death
Anguish: Mallory and June are upset, and both are suspicious that Felix may have killed Ivar
43 INT. HALLWAY
Pearl is for getting out of dodge, and Nico agrees. If they can just get to the floor below, they can take the other staircase. They open the elevator doors and find the car stuck between this and the next floor down. Nico and Pearl climb onto the car and open the ceiling hatch.
44 INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT / CAR
They drop down and try to pry open the doors.
The cable suddenly snaps. The elevator drops several feet and the brakes take hold. Pearl and Nico scramble to get out. Autumn and Mallory kneel down to help pull them out.
Pearl coughs and becomes dizzy. He tries to help Nico up, but can’t. June and Autumn hold onto Mallory as she leans into the shaft. The brakes creak and the car drops an inch. Nico and Pearl are pulled out just as the car plummets.
HORROR SITUATION: the elevator cable breaks while Nico and Pearl are inside
Anxiety: Nico and Pearl climb into the elevator shaft in the middle of a horror movie; never a good idea
Suspense: Felix is nearby; something bad is sure to happen
Shock: the cable snaps and the car starts to fall
Suspense: Nico and Pearl aren’t sure whether to try to get the outer doors open or retreat; they go for the doors
Dread: the brakes creak
Suspense: the two evacuate the elevator car
Anguish: Mallory and Autumn can’t reach them, and Pearl begins suffering ill effects from the cocaine
Shock: the car drops an inch
Release: they manage to get Nico out
Terror: Pearl is still in the shaft
Panic: Pearl comes to his senses and tries to jump to the others
Terror: the brakes fail and the car plummets
Release: they grab hold of Pearl in the nick of time
45 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory becomes horrified when she sees the head of Felix’s shadow flopping like the wryneck.
Confrontation. Felix tries to explain himself. People freak out. Autumn notices the cold. She moves to the far end of the hall and feels the difference in temperature. She suggests the cold indicates the range of the Jinx’s influence.
Felix agrees to quarantine in a room, but insists that June stay on the phone with him.
NOTE: Throughout, the symptoms of Felix’s tumor (fatigue, difficulty speaking, headaches, nausea, imbalance) subside and he becomes stronger, quicker, and more focused.
46 INT. TBD ROOM
Felix waits alone, not knowing what to do.
47 EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It thunders overhead and rain falls. Up the street, they’re still trying to drag away the big rig.
48 INT. TBD ROOM
Felix’s phone is nearing death. He finds a charger and plugs it into a power strip, the wryneck watching. There’s a spark and the power goes out.
49 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The lights go out. They set up cell phones along the hallway to act as lights.
Cockroaches swarm over Mallory, who becomes hysterical, nearly backing into the open elevator shaft. Autumn calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches.
HORROR SITUATION: Mallory is covered in cockroaches
Anxiety: the lights go out
Creepy Moment: cockroaches begin crawling onto Mallory
Panic / Hysteria: Mallory is terrified of insects and freaks out
Suspense: Mallory moves dangerously close to the elevator
Release: Autumn calms her and removes the cockroaches
Pearl’s overdose kicks into full swing. Recognizing the symptoms, Mallory runs to get the naxolone from her room. But Felix’s room is in between.
50 INT. TBD ROOM
Hearing the situation over the phone, Felix says he’ll get the naxolone.
51 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory guides Felix over the phone. Felix exits his room and enters Mallory’s.
52 INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Felix unknowing kicks the naxolone with his foot, sending it further under the bed. He can’t find it. His phone dies.
53 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is dying. Mallory throws caution to the wind and runs for her room.
54 INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
They scour the room. Mallory finds the bottle and bolts out.
55 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix follows her. Mallory trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator. Autumn grabs it just before it goes over the lip and rushes it to Pearl. Too late. He’s dead.
HORROR SITUATION: Pearl is dying of a drug overdose
Shock: Pearl breathes with difficulty
Suspense: Mallory recognizes something must have been mixed in his cocaine
Fear: In order to get to the life-saving naxolone, Mallory has to pass Felix’s room
Suspense: Felix goes to the room instead, guided by Mallory over the phone
Anguish: Felix can’t find the naxolone. Meanwhile, Pearl is dying.
Panic: Mallory joins Felix in the search for the naxolone
Shock: Once she’s found it, Mallory trips and the naxolone almost goes into the elevator shaft
Character Death: they are too late to save Pearl
Monster Reveal: there’s some visual demonstration (TBD) that this causes the Jinx’s field of influence to spread
56 INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
A melting candle ignites the bed sheet in the room and a fire breaks out.
57 INT. HALLWAY / VARIOUS
Lily smells the smoke, goes to check. Shit! Fire! Lily runs to the fire cabinet. She grabs the extinguisher and Nico grabs the hose. Lily tries to put out the fire, but it’s too much. Nico’s hose won’t work.
They get bed sheets from another room and soak. Nico uses them to smother the fire, while the others form a bucket brigade, passing along ice buckets full of water. Eventually, the flames are extinguished.
Nico chokes on the fumes and collapses. Lily goes to help her up. The leg of a burnt dresser snaps. The dresser falls. Lily pushes Nico out of the way before being crushed by the dresser.
HORROR SITUATION: a fire breaks out
Surprise / Shock: a fire starts in Candyce and Nico’s room
Suspense: the characters scramble to put out the fire
Release: the fire is extinguished
Shock / Terror: the dresser falls on Lily and crushes her head
Character Death: Lily
58 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn becomes hysterical. Candyce tries to comfort her, but Autumn becomes belligerent. Nico steps between them, and the two begin shoving each other. Autumn falls backward into the open elevator shaft. Nico screams “Nooo!”
HORROR SITUATION: an argument breaks out and Autumn is accidentally killed
Anxiety: emotions are running high and the characters begin bickering
Hysteria: Nico and Autumn begin shoving
Shock: Nico accidentally shoves Autumn backward into the elevator shaft
Character Death: Autumn falls to her death
Anguish: Nico is overwhelmed with guilt
Silence. Everyone is in shock. Then Candyce goes into labor.
Nico gets up and goes to Alfred’s room.
59 INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Nico retrieves Alfred’s gun.
60 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others see Nico approaching. June stops her. There’s a struggle. The gun goes off, shooting Nico in the leg. She falls, another shot going off. It ricochets and nicks the artery in June’s neck.
61 INT. TBD ROOM
Felix hears the gunshots and Mallory screaming Nico’s name, and runs out.
62 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix rounds the corner to see Mallory tending to Nico. Mallory gets the bleeding under control and tells Felix (who’s keeping his distance) she’ll be fine.
Felix tells her to throw him the gun. Nico tries to stop her, but Mallory complies. Just as Felix picks up the gun, an earthquake strikes.
63 INT. / EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Everyone wobbles. Windows shatter. Cracks form on the sides of the building. The lobby floor splits. Part of the ceiling collapses.
64 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
A piece of the ceiling caves in, blocking Felix from returning to his room. He tells the others to get away from him and keep June safe. As they are running away, the floor collapses beneath Mallory and she falls to her death.
Felix shares a final glance with June, then retreats into the furthest room he can. Candyce and Nico drag June away.
HORROR SITUATION: Nico attempts to kill Felix and everything goes to shit
Shock / Panic: Candyce goes into labor
Suspense: Nico retrieves Alfred’s gun and heads toward Felix’s room.
Shock: in a struggle, both Nico and June are accidentally shot
Panic: hearing the gunshot and his daughter’s name, Felix rushes to help
Terror: an earthquake strikes and the building begins to crumble
Character Death: the floor collapses beneath Mallory
Suspense / Hysteria: Felix tells the others to keep June safe before retreating into a room with the gun; he’s going to kill himself
65 INT. FARTHEST ROOM
The three enter the room.
66 INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix prepares to shoot himself and sees his reflection in the mirror. It fully transforms into the birdlike Jinx. Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
No more! Felix brings the gun to his head and fires. The gun jams. He smashes the window open, puts his foot on the sill. He slips on the rain water and falls on his back, spraining it, unable to move. The Jinx taunts him the whole while.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix attempts to kill himself
Suspense: Felix prepares to shoot himself
Creepy Moment: his reflection in the mirror is acting independently of him; it transforms into the Jinx
Monster Reveal: the Jinx tells Felix its desire to cause suffering and gives him a glimpse of its past atrocities
Shock: Felix pulls the trigger on himself, but the gun jams
Anguish: Felix attempts to jump out the window, but falls and is rendered immobile.
67 EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The fire truck is finally able to reach the hotel.
68 INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter enters the window.
69 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The firefighter notes the cold.
70 INT. FARTHEST ROOM
They hear him.
71 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The three dread heading back toward the danger zone, but have no other choice. They meet the firefighter at hole in the floor. He tosses them a rope, pulling on it as June leaps across the gulf.
Candyce next. She grabs hold of the rope, jumps. The floors falls out beneath her as she lands, and she nearly pulls the firefighter and June down with her. Nico leaps over the pit and helps all three of them up.
HORROR SITUATION: the characters need to get over the hole in the floor to get to safety
Fear: the three women have to jump over the pit to get to safety
Suspense: June jumps first
Release: June makes it
Suspense: Candyce next
Shock: Candyce doesn’t make it, and she, June, and the firefighter nearly all go down together
Panic: Nico jumps without a rope
Release: Nico saves them all
72 EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It’s raining hard. The firefighter climbs onto the ladder and helps Candyce out the window. Everyone moves slowly.
The rubble beneath the fire truck shifts. The ladder shakes. The firefighter falls to his death. Candyce loses her grip and dangles over the ground below. Nico climbs out and saves Candyce. Another firefighter comes to retrieve Candyce, brings her down.
Lightning strikes a transformer. The power cable comes a-swinging. Nico slides down the ladder and leaps off just as the cable electrifies the ladder.
HORROR SITUATION: Candyce and Nico try to get down the fire ladder as accidents keep happening
Fear: it’s raining; the fireman slips, nearly falls; Candyce is terrified to climb out
Shock / Terror: the fire truck is jostled; the firefighter falls to his death; Candyce loses her footing and dangles by her hands
Character Death: the firefighter
Suspense: Nico climbs out to save Candyce; another firefighter climbs up to get her
Release: Candyce is brought down to safety
Shock / Terror: Lightning strikes a nearby transformer; a power cable threatens to electrocute the ladder and Nico
Release: Nico slides down onto the truck just before the ladder is electrified
It’s June’s turn. But instead of going down the ladder, she instead goes to rescue her father.
73 INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix has barely gotten to his feet when June enters. He tells her to get away. She reasons that the Jinx won’t allow him to die, so as long as they’re together, she’s safe.
74 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June supports Felix as they stumble through the hall. The floor creaks. Debris threatens to fall. But they make it to the room.
75 EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The power pole slips and falls onto the fire truck, electrifying it. The truck explodes and the ladder falls.
76 INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Now what?
77 INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They take the useless fire hose and drop it down the opening in the floor. Candyce holds onto her father’s back as he climbs down.
78 INT. NEXT FLOOR DOWN
They reach the floor and hobble toward the odd-number staircase.
79 INT. ODD STAIRWELL
They move slowly down the stairs. Bits of the staircase crumble, threatening to separate the two. The stairwell caves in. They falls down the stairs.
80 EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The whole thing is collapsing.
81 INT. STAIRWELL
The two climb over the debris. It’s blocking the door. They pull the door open just wide enough for one. Who goes first? They hold hands. Felix will go first and pull June after him.
82 INT. LOBBY
Felix gets through. A pillar collapses, exposing a water main. Water blasts shoves the door closed on June’s arm.
83 INT. STAIRWELL / LOBBY
Rubble falls all around June. Felix screams for help. Firefighters come running in to help. The roof of the stairwell caves in.
The firefighter and Felix get the door open and free June just in the nick of time. They flee to the exit, the building collapsing all around them. They leap out the door.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix and June escape from the collapsing hotel
Apprehension: Felix and June move together to the room where the fire ladder is waiting
Shock: the fire truck is destroyed and the ladder comes down
Fear: Felix and June are forced to find another way out
Suspense: they climb down the hole to the next floor down
Terror: the stairwell crumbles, the two are nearly separated, June is nearly killed; the entire building is coming down
Suspense: who goes through the door first?
Anguish: a broken water main spews high pressure water on the door, preventing June from being able to get out
Release: they all escape just as the building comes down
84 EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The hotel comes down. Everyone seems safe. A police car approaches.
85 INT. POLICE CAR – MOVING
The wryneck zips past the windshield and startles the driver.
86 EXT. HOTEL
The police car skids, hits the fallen power pole, flips.
Slow mo: it heads straight for June. Felix spins her out of the way, taking her spot. The car hits him, sending him flying into a standing piece of wall.
June comes to her dying father’s side. They have a final moment before he goes.
The wryneck flies off.
HORROR SITUATION: an out of control police car heads for June
Shock: the wryneck startles the police and their car goes out of control
Dread: the car is headed right for June
Anguish: Felix swings her out of the way at the last second and takes the blow
Character Death: Felix
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MICAH’S HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
What I learned doing this assignment is the value of being able to scan through my outline and see where all my horror situations are.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
A boy and a girl play near a barren hill on witch is an old house. An old woman warns them off going onto the property.
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE – DAY
All the mirrors are broken. The Hermit sits in a chair, cursing a wryneck bird that perches on a chair, watching him.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
The boy’s Father explains to keep away from the property, and that the Hermit isn’t bad but a very unlucky man.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The boy plays with his dog. It runs onto the property and the boy pursues.
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE
The Hermit hears the boy outside and goes to the window.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The Hermit cries out for the boy to leave. Other townsfolk hear and call for the boy, but dare not go after him.
The boy’s leg plunges into a gopher hole and breaks. His dog comes to help, but is attacked and killed by a wolf. A pack of wolves surrounds the boy.
The Hermit leaves his house to aid the boy and is shot dead by the Father, who has retrieved a rifle. The wolves run off.
Holding on the dead Hermit’s face, we hear: FELIX: “Some people have all the luck.”
HORROR SITUATION: The boy unwittingly enters zone of evil supernatural influence
Anxiety: The boy has been warned that it is dangerous to go onto the property, but does anyway.
Monster Reveal: The evil has a range of influence
Surprise: The boy’s leg goes into the gopher hole
Shock: The dog is attacked by a wolf and killed
Suspense: The wolves close in on the boy
Anguish: The townsfolk, including the boy’s parents, dare not go to help him
Hysteria: The boy’s mother needs to be held back to keep from going to him
Shock: The Hermit is shot by the father
Release: the wolves disperse
Monster Reveal: the evil is dispelled once the person it is tied to is killed
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND – DAY
Felix narrates about the nature of luck. Little Felix runs to catch a ball, slips and breaks his arm.
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND – DAY
Little Felix is in a cast, watching the game sadly from the dugout.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Young Felix is picked on.
EXT. DRIVE-IN – NIGHT
Young Felix sits alone in his car, while two teens are fucking in the car next to him.
INT. PARTY HOUSE
Felix and Young Tina get drunk.
INT. BEDROOM
Felix and Tina make out on the bed.
INT. BATHROOM
Felix and Tina behold a positive pregnancy test.
PHOTO MONTAGE: wedding photos, baby photos, little June growing up, Felix passing the bar(?) and opening up a practice as a contract lawyer, things turning for the worse, the housing market crash, Covid, Felix loses his father, he and Tina fight, they split up.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
Felix is shown a CAT scan by his doctor and sees a brain tumor.
End of narration.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix sits alone, eating Chinese food and reading about inoperable tumors on the internet. He makes the comment that he wishes he could give someone else his luck right as he opens one of three fortune cookies. The fortune states: “You can.” Felix opens the next one. It reads: “Answer the door.”
There’s a faint tapping at the door.
EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
A wryneck bird surprises Felix.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix gets the last cookie, opens it: “Make the deal.”
EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
Felix agrees to whatever deal the bird is offering. It attacks and scratches him, then disappears. The scratch is gone.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix checks his face in the window and finds no scratch. He looks at the fortunes; they’re all normal. Felix glances at the symptoms of brain tumors on his computer and sees “hallucinations.” He weeps.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix makes a deal with the Jinx.
Creepy Moment: The fortune cookies seem to be answering Felix’s thoughts. One of the fortunes him tells him to answer the door right before there’s a knock at the door.
Monster Reveal: a wryneck bird, like the one seen with the Hermit, is on the doorstep.
Creepy Moment: the last fortune cookie tells Felix to make a deal.
Surprise: Once Felix agrees to the ambiguous deal, the bird flies at him and scratches him.
Creepy Moment: the scratch disappears and the fortunes have become normal
Anguish: Felix thinks his tumor is causing him to hallucinate
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina arrives to have Felix sign the divorce papers. She notes that it’s cold when she stands near Felix.
Tina senses something wrong, that he’s wearing glasses now, that he seems groggy, but he tells her it’s nothing, he just has a headache. Felix is disappointed that June won’t come in to see him.
INT. CAR – DAY
June waits in the car, texting with her boyfriend.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina expresses concerns about June’s older boyfriend. She stubs her toe.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix goes to get the mail and talks to his neighbor. As they chat, a mailman going by is drenched when the sprinklers come on. Then a passing car knocks the side mirror off the neighbor’s parked car.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
The doctor notes that it’s cold in his office. Felix tells him he’s been feeling a little better, and the doctor expresses that his treatment has been going much better than expected.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix is talking with his neighbor again, who notes that it’s cold near Felix, though his wife across the fence doesn’t feel it.
The neighbor’s brother-in-law begins to back out of the driveway, unaware that his five-year-old nephew is in his path. Felix sees this at the last second. The boy’s mother throws herself against the back of the car, being knocked down as her brother hits the breaks. Crisis averted.
HORROR SITUATION: the brother-in-law is about to back the car over a young child
Monster Reveal: the neighbor notes the cold near Felix, a telltale sign of the Jinx’s influence; however, his wife further away does not feel the cold.
Suspense: the brother-in-law gets in the car, not realizing his five-year-old nephew is directly behind the car in the driveway
Dread: the car backs toward the child
Panic: Felix sees what’s about to happen and begins to cry out
Shock: The boy’s mother jumps behind the car and is knocked down
Release: the brother-in-law slams on the breaks before the child is harmed.
INT. JUNE’S BEDROOM
June and Ivar make out, though he slows things down. June expresses her upsetmet over her parents’ divorce. She makes Ivar promise never to leave her. She has the idea to sneak out and go to a hotel
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Establish dilapidated hotel in the shitty part of town. A pregnant woman, CANDYCE, gets a case out of her car and enters.
INT. LOBBY
Lily checks in Mr. Lamb, who insists on tipping her even though she says it’s against policy. He goes up to his room.
Nico and Candyce check in. Nico is grumpy, Candyce lighthearted. Candyce makes a joke to Lily, who is confused by Candyce’s pregnancy.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Alfred sits on the bed, looking sadly at a picture of his wife. There’s a gun in his suitcase.
INT. LOBBY
Nico, who doesn’t like elevators, asks where the stairs are. She enters one staircase, then returns irritated. This staircase is only for the odd numbered floors. She finds the even floor stairs.
INT. EVEN STAIRWELL
The stairs creak a lot as Nico ascends.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM
Felix is marveling that he no longer needs to wear his glasses (or some other sign of recovery) when Tina calls. She doesn’t know where June is, and doesn’t have the tracker app on her phone. Felix checks his phone and sees she’s gone to a hotel. He tells Tina he’ll take care of it.
INT. CANDYCE AND NICO’S ROOM
Candyce lights candles and tries to get Nico in a romantic mood.
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – DAY
It’s cloudy overhead, and there’s a low rumble of thunder. Felix is waiting at a traffic light when a big rig turns on its side and crashes in the intersection, blocking the street to the hotel. No one is hurt.
HORROR MOMENT: a big rig crashes
Shock: the tire on the big rig blows
Suspense: it careens into the intersection, other cars swerving
Release: the driver climbs out, unharmed
Felix gets out of his car and jogs down the street to the hotel.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
The wryneck watches as he enters.
INT. LOBBY
Lily’s pen leaks onto her hand as Felix approaches her. She also notices a chill. Felix shows her a picture of June and asks if she’s in the hotel. When Lily says she can’t divulge information about guests, Felix tells her that if she doesn’t comply she’ll be party to statutory rape. A flustered Lily acquiesces.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is on the phone with her mother when Felix comes off the elevator and suddenly her connection dies. She freaks when she sees a cockroach.
Felix hears the sounds of sex coming from a room and knocks on the door.
INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl and Autumn are having sex in their room. Their condom breaks and Autumn rushes to the bathroom.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily tells Felix it’s the wrong room, and leads him to the correct one. Ivar answers the door in his boxers, surprised to see Felix, who pushes past him.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix finds June wrapped in a sheet and tells her to get dressed. Both she and Ivar try to explain, but Felix is having none of it. Ivar knocks over a lamp and sets it back up without the shade.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The argument spills out into the hallway as Felix drags June away.
Alfred enters the hallway and tries to calm everyone, advising Ivar to back down.
INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl snorts cocaine. Autumn re-enters and asks him what all the noise is outside.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn, Pearl, Candyce, Nico, and Mallory all come to check on the scene.
Alfred’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack. Mallory realizes what’s happening, tells someone to call an ambulance while she gets something from her room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory gets a medical thing from her room, not realizing that the bottle of naxolone drops to the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory applies the medical thing to try and alleviate the attack. Felix gets off the phone, but remembers the accident at the intersection and realizes an ambulance won’t be able to get through. They decide to carry Alfred downstairs so they can get him to Felix’s car.
The elevator busts. They have to take the stairs.
INT. EVEN STAIRWELL
As they head down the stairs, the stairwell collapses, Mallory nearly falls, but Felix and Ivar help her up while Lily supports Alfred. They are forced to head back upstairs.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Alfred panics, says he’s not ready to die after all, fears there’s nothing on the other side. He dies.
HORROR SITUATION: Alfred has a heart attack and various accidents prevent anyone from getting him help
Shock: Alfred’s pacemaker fails and he begins having a heart attack
Suspense: Mallory runs to get him a medical thing that I’ll look up later
Anguish: Felix remembers that the intersection is blocked off and help won’t be arriving soon
Anxiety: the characters wait for the elevator; they hear it stop, but the door won’t open. They are forced to take the stairs.
Shock: the staircase collapses
Terror: Mallory nearly falls to her death
Release: Felix and Ivar save Mallory
Hysteria / Anguish: Alfred doesn’t want to die after all, but is slipping away; everyone watches on helpless
Character Death: Alfred
Ivar comforts a frightened June, to her father’s vexation. Mallory is hit hard. When asked if she’s a doctor, she relates that she’s a former paramedic who quit because she got tired of seeing people die.
Nico yells at Lily for the hotel’s unsafe state.
Pearl becomes panicky. Nico yells at him to be quiet. Autumn and Candyce calm their respective partners. The characters note a drop in temperature around Felix.
Nico calls the police, explaining the situation and emphasizing there’s a pregnant woman in the building.
They’re going to have to wait. Mallory asks that they move Alfred out of the hallway.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
They lay him on the bed. Nico notices the gun on the bed.
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – NIGHT
Police are trying to move the big rig, but it’s going to take time.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn talks about putting out positive vibes, to Nico’s annoyance.
Felix glances in a hallway mirror and sees his reflection start to become the Jinx. He has a sense of what’s happening, but says nothing.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix sees the Jinx for the first time
Creepy Moment: Felix sees his reflection begin to transform
Monster Reveal: the Jinx is bonded to Felix
June becomes friendly with Candyce, and asks her about the baby. Candyce makes a joke about being impregnated by a Swedish bodybuilder.
People note the cold. Ivar goes to get a blanket for June.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix follows Ivar and talks to him about his relationship with June. Ivar trips and falls on the lamp, breaking the bulb which punctures his throat. Felix calls for help.
INT. HALLWAY
Mallory and June rush to the room.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Mallory tries to cover Ivar’s wound, but he dies. It upsets her deeply.
June and Mallory are suspicious of Felix. He tries to comfort June, but she keeps her distance.
HORROR SITUATION: A freak accident kills Ivar
Anxiety: we now know that it’s not safe to be around Felix
Shock: Ivar trips and impales his throat on the broken bulb
Suspense: Mallory rushes to give medical aid
Character Death: Ivar bleeds to death
Anguish: both Mallory and June are upset, and both are suspicious that Felix may have killed Ivar
INT. HALLWAY
The three return, only reporting that Ivar had an accident, though Mallory keeps her eye on Felix.
Pearl babbles about conspiracy theories, suggesting they’re in some kind of controlled experiment; the elevator, the stairwell, the crash, Alfred, and Ivar can’t all be coincidences. Autumn suggests a supernatural cause, which Nico balks at.
Pearl is for getting out of dodge, and Nico agrees. If they can just get to the floor below, they can take the other staircase. They open the elevator doors and find the car stuck between this and the next floor down. Lily advises against this, citing regulations and insisting the police will be here soon. Candyce is worried but Nico assures her.
Nico and Pearl climb onto the car and open the ceiling hatch.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
They drop down and try to pry open the doors. Only the top foot and a half of the lower floor doorway is expose. They begin trying to pry the outer doors open.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix stands near the open elevator doors.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The cable suddenly snaps. The elevator drops several feet and the breaks take hold.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
Now they’re halfway past the outer doors. Do they try to open them or do they retreat?
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Everyone is trying to see down into the shaft, including Felix.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The brakes creak.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
Pearl and Nico scramble to get out.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Autumn and Mallory kneel down to help pull them out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix looks over his shoulder and sees the wryneck on a stand, flopping its head.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl coughs and becomes dizzy. He tries to help Nico up, but can’t.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others turn to Felix for help, but he backs away.
June and Autumn hold onto Mallory as she leans into the shaft.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The brakes creak and the car drops an inch. Nico runs, jumps, and is caught by Mallory, who pulls her up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Nico climbs to safety.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl sorta comes out of his daze and tries to jump, but misses.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix backs further away.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl jumps and is caught by Mallory just as the brakes fail and the car plummets. Pearl is hauled up.
HORROR SITUATION: the elevator cable breaks while Nico and Pearl are inside
Anxiety: Nico and Pearl climb into the elevator shaft in the middle of a horror movie; never a good idea
Suspense: Felix is nearby; something bad is sure to happen
Shock: the cable snaps and the car starts to fall
Suspense: Nico and Pearl aren’t sure whether to try to get the outer doors open or retreat; they go for the doors
Dread: the brakes creak
Suspense: the two evacuate the elevator car
Creepy Moment: Felix sees the wryneck watching him and flopping its head
Anguish: Mallory and Autumn can’t reach them, and Pearl begins suffering ill effects from the cocaine
Shock: the car drops an inch
Release: they manage to get Nico out
Terror: Pearl is still in the shaft
Panic: Pearl comes to his senses and tries to jump to the others
Terror: the brakes fail and the car plummets
Release: they grab hold of Pearl in the nick of time
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory demands to know why Felix chickened out on them, and becomes horrified when she sees the head of his shadow flopping like the wryneck.
Confrontation. Felix tries to explain himself. Pearl freaks out. Nico threatens Felix. June defends her father.
Autumn notices the cold. She moves to the far end of the hall and feels the difference in temperature. She suggests the cold indicates the range of the Jinx’s influence.
Felix agrees to quarantine in a room, but insists that June stay on the phone with him.
NOTE: Throughout, the symptoms of Felix’s tumor (fatigue, difficulty speaking, headaches, nausea, imbalance) subside and he becomes stronger, quicker, and more focused.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix waits alone, not knowing what to do. The wryneck appears, chirping in a way that sounds like laughing. Felix attacks the bird, chases it, eventually capturing it and killing it. It reappears elsewhere, still laughing at him.
HORROR SITUATION: the wryneck torments Felix
Creepy Moment: the bird cackles at Felix
Suspense: Felix tries to capture the bird, chasing it across the room
Release: Felix catches the bird and kills it
Creepy Moment: the bird reappears elsewhere in the room, still alive
Monster Reveal: killing the bird does not stop the Jinx
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Nico looks out the window.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It thunders overhead and rain falls.
Down below, guests and staff have fled the building, police and medics tending to them. Up the street, they’re still trying to drag away the big rig. Nico urges them to hurry up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl paces nervously, unaware that his shoes have come untied as he passes the elevator again and again. He’s showing early signs of overdose. Mallory questions him, but he just says he’s coming down from his high.
Candyce calms herself singing to her baby, and encourages June to join in. Pearl tells them to be quiet. Nico jumps to Candyce’s defense. There’s an argument. Autumn cuts in and tells Pearl to tie his shoes.
HORROR MOMENT: Pearl is in danger of falling down the open shaft
Anxiety: Pearl is pacing past the elevator, doesn’t realize his shoe is untied
Suspense: Pearl begins to feel ill again; he’s even more likely to fall
Release: Autumn points out his untied shoe
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix’s phone is nearing death. He finds a charger and plugs it into a power strip, the wryneck watching. There’s a spark and the power goes out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The lights go out.
They set up cell phones along the hallway to act as lights.
Cockroaches swarm over Mallory, who becomes hysterical, nearly backing into the open elevator shaft. Autumn calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches.
HORROR SITUATION: Mallory is covered in cockroaches
Anxiety: the lights go out
Creepy Moment: cockroaches begin crawling onto Mallory
Panic / Hysteria: Mallory is terrified of insects and freaks out
Suspense: Mallory moves dangerously close to the elevator
Release: Autumn calms her
Creepy Moment: Mallory has to endure as Autumn brushes the cockroaches off her
Pearl’s overdose kicks into full swing. Recognizing the symptoms, Mallory runs to get the naxolone from her room. But Felix’s room is in between.
INT. TBD ROOM
Hearing the situation over the phone, Felix says he’ll get the naxolone.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory guides Felix over the phone.
Felix exits his room and enters Mallory’s.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Felix unknowing kicks the naxolone with his foot, sending it further under the bed. He can’t find it. His phone dies.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is dying. Mallory throws caution to the wind and runs for her room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
They scour the room.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is losing consciousness.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory finds the bottle and bolts out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix follows her. Mallory trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator. Seeing this, Felix retreats back toward his room.
Autumn grabs it just before it goes over the lip and rushes it to Pearl. Too late. He’s dead.
HORROR SITUATION: Pearl is dying of a drug overdose
Shock: Pearl becomes very ill, losing balance and breathing with difficulty
Suspense: Mallory recognizes that he’s having an opium overdose, probably from something mixed in with his cocaine
Fear: In order to get to the life-saving naxolone, Mallory has to pass Felix’s room
Suspense: Felix goes to the room instead, guided by Mallory over the phone
Anguish: Felix doesn’t realize he’s kicked the naxolone farther under the bed. Meanwhile, Pearl is dying.
Panic: Mallory joins Felix in the search for the naxolone
Suspense: they find it and Mallory runs back to Pearl
Shock: Mallory trips and the naxolone almost goes into the elevator shaft
Release: Autumn grabs it
Character Death: they are too late to save Pearl
Monster Reveal: there’s some visual demonstration that this causes the Jinx’s field of influence to spread, TBD
[ESTABLISH SOMEHOW THAT THIS CAUSES THE JINX’S POWER TO SPREAD]
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
A melting candle ignites the bed sheet in the room and a fire breaks out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Everyone is comforting Autumn.
Lily smells the smoke, goes to check. It’s cold near the room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Shit! Fire!
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily runs to the fire cabinet. She grabs the extinguisher and Nico grabs the hose.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Lily tries to put out the fire, but it’s too much. Nico’s hose won’t work.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Nico runs to another room. Mallory follows.
INT. ANOTHER ROOM
Nico grabs the bed sheet and rushes to the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM
Nico turns on the bathtub and soaks the sheet.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Nico slaps at the flames while Lily sprays with the fire extinguisher. Felix enters to help, but Nico tells him to get the fuck out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix retreats back into his room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
June comes in and tosses water from an ice bucket on the flames.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June and Candyce exchange buckets. Candyce passes the empty one to Mallory.
INT. BATHROOM
Mallory fills an ice bucket with water.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The buckets are exchanged again.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The fire is put out. Nico chokes on the fumes and collapses. Lily goes to help her up.
The leg of a burnt dresser snaps. The dresser falls. Lily pushes Nico out of the way before being crushed by the dresser.
HORROR SITUATION: a fire breaks out
Surprise / Shock: a fire starts in Candyce and Nico’s room
Suspense: the characters scramble to put out the fire
Release: the fire is extinguished
Shock / Terror: the dresser falls on Lily and crushes her head
Character Death: Lily
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Candyce and Mallory immediately feel the cold.
[CONTINUE TO ESTABLISH THE BROADENING OF THE FIELD]
They hear June screaming and run to see
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Mallory rushes to Lily but quickly sees it’s a lost cause.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is furious and begins kicking the walls.
Autumn becomes hysterical. Candyce tries to comfort her, but Autumn becomes belligerent. Nico steps between them, and the two begin shoving each other. Autumn falls backward into the open elevator shaft. Nico screams “Nooo!”
HORROR SITUATION: an argument breaks out and Autumn is accidentally killed
Anxiety: emotions are running high and the characters begin bickering
Hysteria: Nico and Autumn begin shoving
Shock: Nico accidentally shoves Autumn backward into the elevator shaft
Character Death: Autumn falls to her death
Anguish: Nico is overwhelmed with guilt
Silence. Everyone is in shock. Then Candyce goes into labor.
Nico gets up and goes to Alfred’s room.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Nico retrieves Alfred’s gun.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others see Nico approaching.
June stops her. There’s a struggle. The gun goes off, shooting Nico in the leg. She falls, another shot going off. It ricochets and nicks the artery in June’s neck.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix hears the gunshots and Mallory screaming Nico’s name, and runs out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix rounds the corner to see Mallory tending to Nico. Mallory gets the bleeding under control and tells Felix (who’s keeping his distance) she’ll be fine.
Felix tells her to throw him the gun. Nico tries to stop her, but Mallory complies.
Just as Felix picks up the gun, an earthquake strikes.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Everyone wobbles. Windows shatter. Cracks form on the sides of the building. All along the street, buildings wobble.
INT. LOBBY
The floor splits. Part of the ceiling collapses.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
A piece of the ceiling caves in, blocking Felix from returning to his room. He tells the others to get away from him and keep June safe.
As they are running away, the floor collapses beneath Mallory.
INT. NEXT FLOOR DOWN
Mallory hits the floor below and breaks through it.
INT. TWO FLOORS DOWN
Mallory splats against the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix shares a final glance with June, then retreats into the furthest room he can. Candyce and Nico drag June away.
HORROR SITUATION: Nico attempts to kill Felix and everything goes to shit
Shock / Panic: Candyce goes into labor
Suspense: Nico retrieves Alfred’s gun and heads toward Felix’s room. They others try to stop her.
Shock: both Nico and June are accidentally shot
Panic: hearing the gunshot and his daughter’s name, Felix rushes to help
Terror: an earthquake strikes and the building begins to crumble
Shock: the ceiling collapses behind Felix, preventing him from getting distance between himself and the others.
Character Death: the floor collapses beneath Mallory
Suspense / Hysteria: Felix tells the others to keep June safe before retreating into a room with the gun; he’s going to kill himself
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
The three enter the room, June not wanting to let her father go. Candyce says it’s not cold in the room.
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix prepares to shoot himself and sees his reflection in the mirror. It has its back to him. Suddenly, the head flips backward and gawks at Felix upside down. The reflection turns to face him, the head transformed into the birdlike Jinx.
Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
No more! Felix brings the gun to his head and fires. The gun jams. He smashes the window open, puts his foot on the sill. He slips on the rain water and falls on his back, spraining it, unable to move. The Jinx taunts him the whole while.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix attempts to kill himself
Suspense: Felix prepares to shoot himself
Creepy Moment: his reflection in the mirror is acting independently of him; it transforms into the Jinx
Monster Reveal: the Jinx tells Felix is desire to cause suffering and gives him a glimpse of its prior atrocities
Shock: Felix pulls the trigger on himself, but the gun jams
Anguish: Felix attempts to jump out the window, but falls and is rendered immobile. He’s helpless to do anything to stop the Jinx
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
Candyce is having labor pains.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The fire truck is finally able to reach the hotel. The ladder is extended to the open window and a firefighter climbs up.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter enters the window and calls out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The firefighter notes the cold, calls out again.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
They hear him.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They call back. He tells them to come to him. They dread doing so but have no other choice.
They meet him at hole in the floor. He tosses them a rope, pulling on it as June leaps across the gulf.
Candyce next. She grabs hold of the rope, jumps. She lands at the edge of the hole and the floor gives out beneath her. June and firefighter are nearly dragged down with her.
Nico leaps over the opening and helps them all up.
HORROR SITUATION: the characters need to get over the hole in the floor to get to safety
Fear: the three women have to jump over the pit to get to safety
Suspense: June jumps first
Release: June makes it
Suspense: Candyce next
Shock: Candyce doesn’t make it, and she, June, and the firefighter nearly all go down together
Panic: Nico jumps without a rope
Release: Nico saves them all
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter gets on the ladder first.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It’s raining hard. The firefighter turns to face Candyce, slips, nearly falls.
Candyce is terrified, but Nico kisses her and hands her off to the firefighter. Everyone moves slowly. June and Nico hold the ladder.
The rubble beneath the fire truck shifts. The ladder shakes. The firefighter falls to his death. Candyce loses her grip and dangles over the ground below. Nico climbs out onto the ladder and saves Candyce.
Another firefighter comes to retrieve Candyce, brings her down.
Lightning strikes a transformer. The pole slams against the hotel and the power cable comes a-swinging. Nico dodges it. It comes swinging back. Nico slides down the ladder and leaps off just as the cable electrifies the ladder. Nico’s leg is broken, but she’s otherwise okay.
Using their hose, the firefighters blast the pole far back enough that the cable falls away from the ladder.
HORROR SITUATION: Candyce and Nico try to get down the fire ladder as accidents keep happening
Fear: it’s raining; the fireman slips, nearly falls; Candyce is terrified to climb out
Shock / Terror: the fire truck is jostled; the firefighter falls to his death; Candyce loses her footing and dangles by her hands
Character Death: the firefighter
Suspense: Nico climbs out to save Candyce; another firefighter climbs up to get her
Release: Candyce is brought down to safety
Shock / Terror: Lightning strikes a nearby transformer; a power cable threatens to electrocute the ladder and Nico
Release: Nico slides down onto the truck just before the ladder is electrified
It’s June’s turn. But instead of going down the ladder, she instead goes to rescue her father.
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix has barely gotten to his feet when June enters. He tells her to get away, but she holds him up. The Jinx won’t allow him to die, she reasons, so as long as they’re together, she’s safe.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June supports Felix as they stumble through the hall. The floor creaks. Debris threatens to fall. But they make it to the room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
They reach the ladder.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The power pole slips and falls onto the fire truck, electrifying it. The truck explodes and the ladder falls.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Now what?
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They take the useless fire hose and drop it down the opening in the floor. Candyce holds onto her father’s back as he climbs down.
INT. NEXT FLOOR DOWN
They reach the floor and hobble toward the odd-number staircase. The ceiling collapses and Felix pulls his daughter away just before she’s crushed.
INT. ODD STAIRWELL
They move slowly down the stairs. Bits of the staircase crumble, threatening to separate the two. The stairwell caves in. They falls down the stairs, stopping with an inch between a rebar and June’s face.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The whole thing is collapsing.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Debris falls from all sides. Everyone backs up.
INT. STAIRWELL
The two get up, climb over the debris. It’s blocking the door. They remove it together. Pull the door open just wide enough for one. Who goes first? They hold hands. Felix will go first and pull June after him. They start.
INT. LOBBY
A pillar collapses, exposing a water main. Water shoves the door closed on June’s arm.
INT. STAIRWELL
Rubble falls all around June.
INT. LOBBY
Felix screams for help.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Firefighters come running.
INT. LOBBY
One slips on the wet tiles. The other gets to Felix.
INT. STAIRWELL
The roof of the stairwell caves in.
INT. LOBBY
The firefighter and Felix get the door open and free June just in the nick of time. They flee to the exit, the building collapsing all around them. They leap out the door.
HORROR SITUATION: Felix and June escape from the collapsing hotel
Apprehension: Felix and June move together to the room where the fire ladder is waiting
Shock: the fire truck is destroyed and the ladder comes down
Fear: Felix and June are forced to find another way out
Suspense: they climb down the hole to the next floor down
Shock: June is nearly crushed by the falling ceiling
Suspense: they head down the stairwell together
Terror: the stairwell crumbles, the two are nearly separated, June is nearly killed; the entire building is coming down
Suspense: who goes through the door first?
Anguish: a broken water main spews high pressure water on the door, prevent June from being able to get out
Release: they all escape just as the building comes down
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The hotel comes down. Everyone seems safe. Felix and June hug. Stand. Holding hands, a foot apart.
A police car approaches.
INT. POLICE CAR – MOVING
The wryneck zips past the windshield and startles the driver.
EXT. HOTEL
The police car skids, hits the fallen power pole, flips.
Slow mo: it heads straight for June. Felix spins her out of the way, taking her spot. The car hits him, sending him flying into a standing piece of wall.
June comes to her dying father’s side. They have a final moment before he goes.
The wryneck flies off.
HORROR SITUATION: an out of control police car heads for June
Shock: the wryneck startles the police and their car goes out of control
Dread: the car is headed right for June
Anguish: Felix swings her out of the way at the last second and takes the blow
Character Death: Felix
-
MICAH’S SCARY-AS-HELL SCENE
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of varying the emotions throughout the scene and keep the roller coaster of actions going up and down.
SITUATION: Pursued / Tormented – a young boy enters the radius of the Jinx’s influence, and everyone watches helplessly as fatal misfortunes befall him
ANXIETY: the boy is fearful of his surroundings as he tries to get his dog to come with him; the townsfolk see him on the hermit’s property; the hermit hears the commotion and goes to the window
RELEASE: The dog comes to the boy and they start back away from the house
SCARE / SURPRISE: the boy steps into a gopher hole and breaks his leg
SCARE / SHOCK: the dog is attacked by a wolf and killed
HORROR: the wolf turns to the boy
ANGUISH: the townsfolk dare not go to the boy’s aid; they hold his mother back
SUSPENSE: more wolves arrive and close in on the boy; the boy’s father runs back to his house
PANIC: the hermit runs from his house to save the boy
RELEASE: the hermit is shot dead by the father and the wolves disperse
EXT. HERMIT HILL – DAY
A neglected shack sits at the top of a low hill. Woods form a semi-circle around it, but the hill itself is nothing but barren and ugly soil.
A small western town, circa 1850, leads up to the hill, leaving a berth of some hundred feet.
A young BOY and GIRL play near the base of the hill, tossing a ball back and forth. The ball bounces up the side of the hill and nestles in a gopher hole.
The girl runs after it, about to step onto the hill when—
CRONE (O.S.): Stop right there!
The surprise children turn. A CRONE points a gnarled finger out them.
CRONE: You stay away from that hill, you hear? Stay far away!
The children look back toward the ball. It rolls to one side as a gopher noses its way out of the hole, looks about, and retreats again.
Looking further up, the children see an old man, THE HERMIT, standing in the window of the shack. His expression is sad as he looks back down at them.
The boy meets his gaze.
BOY (V.O.): How come that man lives up on that hill all alone, Pa?
INT. BOY’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The boy and his FATHER sit by a fire as the Father stirs beans in a pot. The boy’s MOTHER sets the table. A LABRADOR RETRIEVER is curled up by the hearth.
FATHER: He moved up there a long time ago to get away from folk. You make sure to stay well clear of that house.
BOY: Why are people so afraid of him? Is he a bad man?
FATHER: No, he’s not a bad man. Just… an unlucky one.
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The hermit sits in a chair in the midst of the dilapidated home, breathing shallowly as he stairs into the dark. His eyes shift to a nearby window.
A WRYNECK BIRD is perched on the sill, watching him.
HERMIT: Goddamn you. Just let me go. Let it end already.
The bird just continues to stare.
EXT. HERMIT HILL – DAY
The boy chases the dog at the edge of the town.
BOY: Come on, Skip! I’m gonna get ya!
The dog playful evades the boy. He springs on her, and she dashes up the side of the hill. The boy goes to pursue, but stops at the base of the hill.
BOY: Skip! Come on back, girl! You’re not supposed to go up there!
The dog looks over her shoulder at the boy, then keeps on moving up the hill.
The boy shifts uncertainly, looks back to see anybody’s watching, the charges up the hill after his dog.
The dog barks at the boy, wagging her tongue, and continues up the hill. The boy slows the further up he goes, eyeing his surroundings nervously.
BOY: Come on, girl! You’re being a bad girl!
Down below, the boy’s mother comes out of her house.
MOTHER: Jake? Jacob, where are you?
She turns toward the hill. She sees her boy. Her face goes white.
MOTHER: JACOB!
She takes off running for the hill.
The Father follows her outside, sees what’s going on.
FATHER: No!
He chases after her.
The woman is about to step onto the barren property when her husband seizes her from behind.
MOTHER: Let go!
FATHER: You can’t go up there.
MOTHER: I have to save him!
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE
The Hermit hears the commotion outside and stirs from his chair. Coming to the window, he sees the boy on his property.
HERMIT: Boy! Get out of here! Now!
EXT. HERMIT HILL
The boy looks from the hermit to his parents. OTHER TOWNSFOLK have gathered at the base of the hill.
TOWNSFOLK (Various): Come back down, boy! Get away! Hurry! Etc.
The boy jumps as something brushes past his leg. Just the dog.
HERMIT: Go! Get away!
The boy takes the dog by the leash and pulls her away from the house. He picks up speed. His parents beckon desperately to him.
As the boy jogs along, his foot plunges into a gopher hole, and there’s a SNAP as his leg breaks. He falls onto his back with a shriek.
MOTHER: No!
She lunges forward again, held in place by Father and another man.
The hermit tugs frantically at his hair.
The dog nuzzles the weeping boy, licking his face. He puts his arms around its neck. The dog pulls with all its might. Slowly, the boy’s foot withdraws from the hole, and the boy begins to be dragged back toward safety.
There’s a blur of grey and the retriever is tackled aside. The boy falls onto his hands.
A WOLF bites and scratches at the dog. It’s a fierce but short battle. The dog collapses in a bloody heap. Tears stream from the boy’s eye.
BOY: Skip! No!
Then the wolf turns its hungry eyes on the boy.
The Mother is in hysterics.
MOTHER: Somebody help him! Won’t somebody help him?!
The townsfolk look to one another, shamed but unwilling to go.
The hermit watches from his window.
HERMIT: God, no. Please, please, God, no.
The boy tries to crawl away, then stops when he sees another wolf, growling and drooling. Two more appear on either side of him. He’s surrounded. The predators close in.
The boy’s Father hands his wife off to his neighbor.
FATHER: Hold her.
The Father turns and rushes back toward town.
The boy hyperventilates as the wolves bear down on him.
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE – DAY
The hermit flies from the window and out the door.
EXT. HERMIT HILL – DAY
The hermit charges down the hill.
HERMIT: Hey! Get off! Get away from him!
The wolves ignore him. Their saliva spatters the soil. The first wolf bares its teeth, the boy hypnotized by its evil gaze.
The hermit is almost to them.
The wolf makes to pounce.
A SHOT reverberates across the hill.
Blood spews from the hermit’s chest and flies onto his back.
Startled by the sound, the wolves quickly disperse.
The boy’s Father stands at the base of the hill with a rifle in hand. He hands it off to his neighbor and goes running up the hill to his son.
He gathers the boy up in his arms. He moves to the hermit, who is rasping out his final breaths. The two men lock eyes. The hermit weeps.
HERMIT: Thank you.
And he dies.
-
MICAH’S SCARES, RELEASES, AND CREEPY MOMENTS
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix prepares to shoot himself and sees his reflection in the mirror.
CREEPY MOMENT: His reflection has its back to him.
SCARE: The head flips backward and gawks at Felix upside down. The reflection turns to face him, the head transformed into the birdlike Jinx.
CREEPY MOMENT: Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
No more!
Felix brings the gun to his head and fires.
RELEASE: The gun jams.
He smashes the window open, puts his foot on the sill. He slips on the rain water and falls on his back, spraining it, unable to move. The Jinx taunts him the whole while.
* * * * * *
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix locks the door. Lightning splashes the room as he marches toward the center, passing a mirror.
He stares at the gun in his hand. It glistens in the strobe of the lightning.
Felix brings it to his temple. Breathes in. Breathes out. Shuts his eyes.
Another breath. He scrunches up his face. Clenches his jaw.
His eyes come open.
FELIX: Come on. Come on, you coward.
Felix turns around. Takes in a deep breath of courage.
Then his eyes narrow. The looks at his reflection in the wall mirror.
It isn’t facing him. It stands in the exact same position, but facing away, as if he were looking in through a window behind himself.
Then the reflection’s head flops backward like the wryneck and stares right at him, features birdlike, chirping laughter.
Felix leaps back.
The head lolls to and fro in a freakish display. Then the reflection turns to face him properly and the head settles. The face has finished its transformation into the bird-human hybrid, feathers replacing hair, eyes on the side, nose and mouth coming together into a beak. This at long last, is THE JINX.
It continues its hideous laughter.
FELIX: What the fuck do you want?
The Jinx’s VOICE echoes in FELIX’S head, words and phrases overlapping one another.
JINX (V.O.): Want – Want – What does it want? – It want? – It wants – Pain – Suffering – It wants death – Sorrow – Misery – It wants – It wants.
FELIX: What are you?
JINX (V.O.): Tragedy – Fate – Misfortune – It’s been here always – Since you began – It drinks your tears – It bathes in your blood – Look – See – See – See
Felix’s eyes widen. The room whites out with a flash of lightning.
FLASH:
A brass street sign on a brick wall: PUDDING LANE – A wood sign above a door: BAKERY. The door explodes outward – the city of London, 1666, an inferno.
FLASH:
The Hindenburg floating across the sky – Flames erupting from the rear of the airship – The ship sinking to the ground, consumed by the rising flames.
FLASH:
Images of Chernobyl, details to be added later.
FLASH:
Images of the Deepwater Horizon spill, details to be added later.
FLASH:
Back to the scene.
JINX (V.O.): See – See – See – See – The madness – The misery the man and it will sow.
FELIX: No.
Felix brings the gun to his temple, steels himself with a final breath.
Pulls the trigger.
The hammer falls. There’s a click, but no bang. A perturbed Felix tries again. The barrel does not turn. He inspects the gun, tries to open it, but it won’t budge. Peeking through the slat between the frame and the barrel, he can see a dislodged casing having jammed the device.
The Jinx’s chirping LAUGH reverberates in his mind.
JINX (V.O.): The man will not leave – He must stay – It will not let him go.
Felix looks in the mirror and sees the horrid reflection gawking and laughing at him. He throws the gun and shatters the glass.
In each of the shards spread across the floor, the Jinx continues to laugh and throw its head about, but differently in each tiny reflection, like a dozen little TVs out of sync with each other.
FELIX: Fuck you. You’re not using me to hurt anyone else.
Lightning flashes, drawing Felix’s eye to the window.
He grabs a chair and smashes the glass. Rain sprays the room, water spills over the sill.
Felix goes to the window, grabs the frame, steps up onto the sill.
JINX (V.O.): Where does the man go? – He cannot leave – No escape – Such sorrow – So much sorrow he and it will cause.
As Felix lifts himself up, his foot slips on the wet sill and he falls backward, flat on his back. He lets a cry of agony.
The JINX LAUGHS.
Felix tries to get up, gives a sharp cry. His back is badly hurt. With tremendous, pained effort, he rolls over onto his stomach, tries to crawl, and immediately gives up.
JINX (V.O.): The man will stay – The man will not leave – There is fun to be had – He and it will revel in anguish.
Looking up, Felix sees the wryneck staring at him from a few feet away, LAUGHING.
He buries his face in the carpet, defeated.
-
LESSON 12: LEVEL 3 HORROR EMOTIONS
MICAH’S LEVEL 3 HORROR EMOTIONS SCENE
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – NIGHT
Finally, the intersection is clear. Police wave the strobing fire truck through.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The fire truck pulls up in front of the hotel, the giant wheel crunching rubble. The FIGHTERS jump out.
The ladder is extended up to the window of Nico and Candyce’s room, heavy rain spattering against the rungs.
A lone FIREFIGHTER scales the ladder, a coil of rope over one shoulder.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter climbs in through the window. With a click, his flashlight expels a thick white beam that reveals the charred room.
FIREFIGHTER: Holy smoke. (calling) Hello!
Moving through the room, he comes across the fallen cabinet and what remains of Lily.
He kneels down beside her, and with a peek beneath the cabinet confirms she’s beyond help.
FIREFIGHTER: Jesus.
He gets back to his feet.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The firefighter steps out into the hallway. A shudder runs through him, and he hugs his arms closer to his body.
FIREFIGHTER: It’s like a freezer in here. (calling) Hello, can anybody hear me?
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
Nico, Candyce, and June all react to the call.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The three women step out into the hall. June lights up the hallway with her phone.
NICO: Who’s there?
FIREFIGHTER: Fire Department.
He follows the voice and comes to the gaping hole in the floor.
FIREFIGHTER: Where are you?
NICO: Over here.
FIREFIGHTER: That’s helpful. Are you able to come to me?
The women look at each other.
CANDYCE: We’ve got to.
She takes Nico’s hand. Then June’s.
Nico breathes in courage.
NICO: Alright, we’re coming.
The three snake up the hallway. As they near the corner, the cold hits them. Goosebumps raise on their flesh. Candyce sucks in air.
NICO: Yep. Keep going.
They keep on moving. Candyce lets out a cry. The others jump.
Candyce exhales heavily. It’s a contraction.
They round the corner.
The collapse in the floor divides the women from their rescuer by some eight feet.
FIREFIGHTER: Are you okay?
NICO: Far fucking from.
There’s a loud creak, and the firefighter looks down at his feet.
NICO: We gotta move fast.
The firefighter uncoils his rope.
FIREFIGHTER: Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to toss you this rope. You’ll jump, and I’ll pull you across.
CANDYCE: I can’t.
NICO: Yes, you can.
CANDYCE: No, I caaa-
She doubles over with another contraction.
JUNE: Here. I’ll go first. Just watch me.
FIREFIGHTER: Catch.
He tosses his flashlight to Nico. Then he tosses one end of the rope to June.
FIREFIGHTER: Wrap it around your arm.
June coils it around her foreman, then grips it with both hands.
FIREFIGHTER: Back up. Give yourself a running start.
She does.
FIREFIGHTER: You ready?
June nods.
Nico and Candyce, watch, crushing each other’s hands.
FIREFIGHTER: One, two, three.
June charges forward and leaps. The firefighter runs backward, clearing space as June makes it to the other side.
Nico and Candyce exhale together.
The firefighter collects the rope from June.
FIREFIGHTER: Alright. Baby-Mama.
CANDYCE: (to Nico) I can’t do this, I can’t—
NICO: Shut up, yes you can.
Nico kisses Candyce.
NICO: You’ve got this, okay?
Candyce nods, not believing it.
The firefighter tosses the rope to Nico. She guides it into Candyce’s trembling hands.
NICO: Wrap it around.
Candyce coils it around her forearm.
NICO: June.
She tosses the flashlight to June. Then she grips Candyce by the arms.
NICO: I’m gonna be with you right up until the jump. Okay?
Candyce nods.
They back up.
FIREFIGHTER: Here we go. One, two, three.
They start forward. The firefighter pulls.
At the edge of the drop, Candyce is hit by a hard contraction and cries out. She loses her grip. The rope comes out of her hand, tugging her arm. The firefighter stops.
Candyce is pitching forward when Nico pulls her back. Candyce clutches her belly.
NICO: I got you I got you I got you. You okay?
Candyce breathes heavily, nods.
The firefighter gives them slack and they move back into the starting position.
CANDYCE: I love you, Nico.
NICO: I love you, too.
CANDYCE: I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much. Forever and always. Remember that.
NICO: I don’t need to remember shit, because you’re going to keep telling me for a long, long time. Now, take a deep breath.
Candyce sniffles, blinks tears out of her eyes, and takes a deep breath.
FIREFIGHTER: One, two, three.
They gun it forward. Reaching the edge, Nico gives Candyce a hard shove as she leaps.
The firefighter pulls. Candyce soars toward him.
She lands on the far edge. The floor crumbles beneath her. She falls.
NICO: CANDYCE!
The firefighter reaches for her as the floor disappears at his toes. He’s pulled forward. His foot goes out, nothing to step on—
June drops the flashlight and grabs the firefighter as he plummets. He’s halfway over the edge, barely holding on to Candyce, while June is barely holding on to him.
INT. THE HALLWAY BELOW
Candyce dangles over the second pit beneath her, legs kicking.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
JUNE: Help!!
Nico rushes to the end of the hall, then dashes toward the pit.
Launches herself off the edge.
Dives over the other three.
Tucks and rolls onto the carpet behind them.
She wraps one arm around June, grabs a fistful of the firefighter’s coat with her other hand. Re-balanced, June is able to help her to pull the fireman up.
The fireman’s arms quiver as he hoists Candyce. Slowly, all four make it to solid ground.
NICO: Get away from the edge. Move, move, move.
They scuttle back as more of the floor falls away and swallows up the fallen flashlight. It follows them for a few feet as they scramble backward, then stops.
Nico takes the weeping Candyce in her arms and kisses her.
FIREFIGHTER: Let’s go.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
They move to the ladder. Candyce grits her teeth and groans through another pang.
Rainwater drools down the sill and onto the blackened floor.
FIREFIGHTER: Hold tight.
He climbs out the window.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Sheets of rain slap the firefighter as he eases himself onto the ladder. Slowly, he turns to face the others.
His foot slips.
He drops, catching the top rung.
The women jump.
The firefighter regains his footing and climbs back to the window. Candyce is at the front of the group.
FIREFIGHTER: Now, nice and slow.
INT. CANDYCE AND NICO’S ROOM
Candyce is shaking from head to foot. Both Nico and June have her by the arms as she starts reaches out to take the firefighter’s hand.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The firefighter takes Candyce’s hand. She raises one foot onto the sill. Leans out. Her rescuer supports her with his free hand.
She stops.
FIREFIGHTER: I’ve got you. Keep going.
But she can’t. Her chest expands and contracts with heavy breaths. She can’t move.
FIREFIGHTER: You’re doing great. Just breathe slowly. I’m right here.
She swallows hard. Behind her, Nico and June still have a hold on her.
NICO: We’ve got you, China doll.
Very, very slowly, Candyce begins to move again.
FIREFIGHTER: That-a-girl.
She crouches on the sill, turns so that she can step backward onto the ladder. A convulsive foot seeks out a rung.
June takes hold of the ladder while Nico continues to hold Candyce’s hand, leaning far out the window.
The firefighter holds Candyce as she eases onto the latter.
FIREFIGHTER: There we go.
Candyce still has Nico’s hand. Won’t let go.
NICO: I’m right behind you.
Candyce loosens her grip. Lets go.
Below, the rubble beneath the fire truck wheel crumbles. The weight of the vehicle shifts abruptly.
Candyce screams as she and the firefighter are jostled loose.
The firefighter plummets to his death, smacking the unyielding cement with a CRUNCH.
Candyce dangles from the side of the ladder, rain drenching her.
Nico scurries out the window. June grabs her legs as she dives onto the ladder.
Candyce’s arms quake. Her legs curl up toward her stomach and she screams from another contraction. Her fingers are slipping.
A SECOND FIREFIGHTER comes flying up the ladder.
Nico grabs a handful of Candyce’s shirt just as her fingers fail her. She dangles, arms flailing. Nico guides her back toward the ladder.
NICO: Grab the ladder!
Candyce’s hands find a rung. She pulls herself back to the ladder, securing her feet. She throws her arms around Nico, sobbing.
The second firefighter reaches them and puts an arm around Candyce.
SECOND FIREFIGHTER: It’s okay. I’ve got you.
NICO: Go, before something else happens!
CANDYCE: I can’t let go.
NICO: GET HER DOWN!
The firefighter tugs Candyce and she’s pulled away from Nico.
CANDYCE: Nico!!
Nico pushes against the rungs as June pulls her back up. Slowly, awkwardly, Nico turns herself so she’s standing right side up on the ladder.
Candyce and the firefighter make it onto the truck.
A BOLT OF LIGHTNING STRIKES THE TRANSFORMER on the nearby power pole. There’s an explosion of sparks. The pole falls again the wall of hotel as one of the cables rips free of the transformer and swings toward the ladder.
Nico flattens herself against the ladder as the cable swings past, spitting sparks.
Candyce rushes the ladder, but the firefighter keeps hold of her.
The cable comes swinging back. Nico leaps off the rung, holding the sides of the ladder as she slides down.
She hits the truck—leg CRACKING—and falls away from the ladder just as the cable connects with it and the metal BUZZES with electrification.
Nico crawls backward from the ladder, eyes wide. Candyce bear-hugs her from behind.
CANDYCE: Are you alright?
Nico flinches, gripping her leg.
NICO: I’m fine. (to the firefighter) Get her off the truck!
The firefighter helps guide Candyce to the ground. Nico crawls behind them. Another fighter helps her down.
Meanwhile, two more fighters have gotten the hose loose. The blast the power pole with high-pressure water. It slides against the hotel wall, dragging the cable with it, and crashes to the ground.
The second firefighter returns to the ladder and calls up to June.
SECOND FIREFIGHTER: I’ll be right up.
June’s bites her lip. Her fingers drum anxiously against the window sill. She’s thinking.
JUNE: Hold on!
June retreats from the window.
SECOND FIREFIGHTER: Come back!
-
LESSON 11: LEVEL 2 HORROR EMOTIONS
MICAH’S LEVEL 2 HORROR EMOTIONS SCENE
Pearl falls back against the wall, barely able to stand. His breath is a sickly wheeze.
AUTUMN: Pearl?
Mallory rushes over, looks at his eyes. Pearl slumps onto the floor.
AUTUMN: What’s happening to him?
MALLORY: It looks like a fentanyl overdose. Whatever he took wasn’t clean.
His eyes droop.
MALLORY: Pearl? Stay awake! Hey!
She shakes him.
AUTUMN: What do we do?
MALLORY: Stay with him. I’ve got something in my room.
She stands, starts toward her room.
NICO: Wait. Don’t go that way.
Mallory stops. Her room is past Felix’s.
MALLORY: Shit.
AUTUMN: You have to do something!
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix is listening on his phone.
FELIX: Tell me what you need. I can get it.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
MALLORY: Naxolone. It’s in a nasal spray bottle. It should be in my suitcase. Room 401.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix is out the door.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
He finds the door to Mallory’s room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
The door flies open and Felix scans the room.
FELIX: Where’s your suitcase?
MALLORY (V.O.): On the other side of the bed, on the chair.
Felix sprints across the room and begins rummaging through the case.
His foot knocks against the naxolone bottle on the floor and sends it sliding under the bed.
FELIX: I’m not seeing it.
MALLORY (V.O.): Check the pouches.
He does.
FELIX: It’s not hear. … Hello?
Felix checks his phone. It’s dead.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
MALLORY: Felix?
There’s a beep. She checks her phone and sees that the call has ended.
Air whistles through Pearl’s nose. His lips are blue and he can barely lift his head.
AUTUMN: Baby, stay with me! Come on, come on! (to Mallory) Tell him to hurry!
Mallory clenches her jaw. Fuck it. She guns it down the hall.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory rushes in. She nudges Felix out of the way and rummages through the suitcase.
FELIX: Are you sure you had it?
MALLORY: Positive. It must have fallen out.
The two scour the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn is holding Pearl’s eyelids open with her fingers.
AUTUMN: Hold on, Pearl, hold on.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory throws the small sitting table out of her way.
MALLORY: Shit!
She gets on her hands and knees. She checks beneath the chair.
Then the bed. There it is.
MALLORY: Found it!
She reaches. It’s just beyond her fingers.
MALLORY: I can’t get it.
Felix drops to the floor on the other side and tries to grab it. It’s perfectly centered between them, and neither can reach.
FELIX: Move the bed.
Felix gets up to his knees, grabs the bed frame and pulls as Mallory shoves it. It shifts.
Mallory reaches underneath again and snags the bottle. The next instant she’s on her feet and out the door.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix follows after Mallory as she rounds the corner into main hallway.
AUTUMN: Hurry!
Mallory trips, pitching forward. Felix stops in his tracks.
The bottle skids across the floor, toward the elevator—
AUTUMN: No!
Autumn lunges.
It comes to rest on the lip of the elevator shaft, about to teeter over when Autumn snatches it.
Felix hurries back toward his room.
Autumn scrambles back to Pearl, shoves the nozzle into his nostril.
AUTUMN: Here we go, baby. Breathe in.
She squeezes the bottle.
But Pearl doesn’t inhale. He doesn’t move at all.
AUTUMN: No no no. Come on, baby.
She squeezes again. Switches to the other nostril. Crushes the bottle. She shakes Pearl.
AUTUMN: Wake up, wake up Pearl!
Mallory crawls over and feels Pearl’s pulse. Her expression is grim.
AUTUMN: No, no, no, no, no!
Autumn shakes Pearl’s lifeless head.
AUTUMN: Noooo!
She takes him into
her arms and weeps. -
MICAH’S LEVEL 1 HORROR EMOTION SCENE
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Jared and Jenna’s five-year-old BOY plays with a toy truck at the end of the driveway.
BOY: Vroom, vroom!
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix steps outside and has barely made it off the porch when he’s approached again by Jared.
JARED: Howdy, neighbor!
FELIX: Hi, Jared.
JARED: How’s the old cranium, doing? Still having those headaches?
FELIX: Umm… they haven’t been that bad, actually.
JARED: Hey, that’s great! Listen, I was hoping— (whistles) wow, it got chilly all of a sudden.
FELIX: Did it?
JARED: (calling) Jenna?
Jenna is once again on the other side of the fence, going to town with the sheers.
JARED: It feel cold to you?
JENNA: It’s your circulation, honey!
JARED: That’s getting old, isn’t it? Anyway, Barry just got this job offer, and it’s a really big deal for him, but, you know, he really has no experience with contracts, and let’s be honest, I don’t understand them myself.
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Barry comes out and climbs into the car.
JARED (O.S.): I wanted to ask if you could go over it Barry, you know, just to make sure he’s not getting screwed.
Barry puts on his seatbelt and checks the rearview, completely unaware that the boy is directly behind him at the end of the driveway.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
FELIX: Gee, Jared, I kinda got a lot going on right now.
JARED: You don’t have to do it today or tomorrow. But, you know, if you could give it a once over before the weekend…
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Barry starts the car. The brake lights shine red on the playing child.
JARED (V.O.): …it would really help the guy out, which in turn would really help me out, know what I mean?
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix glances past Jared and sees the situation.
JARED: Not that I don’t like having him around. He’s a good guy and all…
FELIX: Hey…
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Barry puts the car in reverse. It backs toward the boy.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix pushes past Barry.
FELIX: HEY!
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Jenna appears suddenly behind the car and slams on the trunk.
JENNA: STOP!
The car knocks into her, knocking her onto the pavement.
Barry hits the brakes, inches from the boy.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
JARED: Jenna!
Jared runs.
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Barry leaps out of the car.
BARRY: Jenna, I’m so sorry!
Jared helps Jenna up. The boy is crying.
JARED: Are you okay?
JENNA: Yeah, I’m alright.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix has his hand over his heart.
FELIX: Jesus.
-
MICAH’S HORROR OUTLINE 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to remember there are many passes still to come and so not to get stuck plot holes or imperfections.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
A delivery boy anxiously approaches a barren property with a dilapidated house in the middle. He deposits groceries at the edge of the property and then skedaddles. The Hermit comes down to get his and leaves money behind.
INT. HOME
A Father explains to his young son to keep away from that property, and that the Hermit isn’t bad but a very unlucky man.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The boy plays with his dog. It runs onto the property and the boy pursues.
INT. HERMIT’S HOUSE
All the mirrors are broken. The Hermit sits in a chair, cursing a wryneck bird that perches on a chair, watching him. He hears the boy outside and goes to the window.
EXT. BARREN PROPERTY – DAY
The Hermit cries out for the boy to leave. Other townsfolk hear and call for the boy, but dare not go after him.
The dog is distracted by a gopher and runs off, leaving the boy. The boy’s leg plunges into a gopher hole and breaks. A pack of wolves surround him.
The Hermit is shot dead by the Father, who stands with a rifle. The wolves run off.
Holding on the dead Hermit’s face, we hear: FELIX: “Some people have all the luck.”
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND – DAY
Felix narrates about the nature of luck. Little Felix runs to catch a ball, slips and breaks his arm.
EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND – DAY
Little Felix is in a cast, watching the game sadly from the dugout.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Young Felix is picked on.
EXT. DRIVE-IN – NIGHT
Young Felix sits alone in his car, while two teens are fucking in the car next to him.
INT. PARTY HOUSE
Felix and Young Tina get drunk.
INT. BEDROOM
Felix and Tina make out on the bed.
INT. BATHROOM
Felix and Tina behold a positive pregnancy test.
PHOTO MONTAGE: wedding photos, baby photos, little June growing up, Felix opening passing the bar(?) and opening up a practice as a contract lawyer, things turning for the worse, the housing market crash, Covid, Felix loses his father, he and Tina fight, they split up.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
Felix is shown a CAT scan by his doctor and sees a brain tumor.
End of narration.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix sits alone, eating Chinese food and reading about inoperable tumors on the internet. He makes the comment that he wishes he could give someone else his luck right as he opens one of three fortune cookies. The fortune states: “You can.” Felix opens the next one. It reads: “Answer the door.”
There’s a faint tapping at the door.
EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
A wryneck bird surprises Felix.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix gets the last cookie, opens it: “Make the deal.”
EXT. FELIX’S PORCH – NIGHT
Felix agrees to whatever deal the bird is offering. It attacks and scratches him, then disappears. The scratch is gone.
INT. FELIX’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
Felix checks his face in the window and finds no scratch. He looks at the fortunes; they’re all normal. Felix glances the symptoms of brain tumors on his computer and sees “hallucinations.” He weeps.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina arrives to have Felix sign the divorce papers. She notes that it’s cold when she stands near Felix.
Tina senses something wrong, that he’s wearing glasses now, that he seems groggy, but he tells her it’s nothing, he just has a headache. Felix is disappointed that June won’t come in to see him.
INT. CAR – DAY
June waits in the car, texting with her boyfriend.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Tina expresses concerns about her older boyfriend. She stubs her toe.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix goes to get the mail and talks to his neighbor. As they chat, mailman going by is drenched when the sprinklers come on. Then a passing car knocks the side mirror off the neighbor’s parked car.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE
The doctor notes that it’s cold in his office. Felix tells him he’s been feeling a little better, and the doctor expresses that his treatment has been going much better than expected.
EXT. FELIX’S HOUSE – DAY
Felix is talking with his neighbor again, who notes that it’s cold near Felix, though his wife across the fence doesn’t feel it.
The neighbor’s brother-in-law begins to back out of the driveway, unaware that his five-year-old nephew is in his path. Felix sees this at the last second. The boy’s mother throws herself against the back of the car, being knocked down as her brother hits the breaks. Crisis averted.
INT. JUNE’S BEDROOM
June and Ivar make out, though he slows things down. June expresses her upsetmet over her parents’ divorce. She makes Ivar promise never to leave her. She has the idea to sneak out and go to a hotel
Connect with the characters II: the various characters arrive at the hotel for their own reasons.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Establish dilapidated hotel in the shitty part of town. A pregnant woman, CANDYCE, gets a case out of her car and enters.
INT. LOBBY
Lily checks in Mr. Lamb, who insists on tipping her even though she says it’s against policy. He goes up to his room.
Nico and Candyce check in. Nico is grumpy, Candyce lighthearted. Candyce makes a joke to Lily, who is confused by Candyce’s pregnancy.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Alfred sits on the bed, looking sadly at a picture of his wife. There’s a gun in his suitcase.
INT. LOBBY
Nico, who doesn’t like elevators, asks where the stairs are.
INT. STAIRWELL
The stairs creak a lot as Nico ascends.
INT. FELIX’S LIVING ROOM
Felix is marveling that he no longer needs to wear his glasses (or some other sign of recovery) when Tina calls. She doesn’t know where June is, and doesn’t have the tracker app on her phone. Felix checks and sees she’s gone to a hotel. He tells Tina he’ll take care of it.
INT. CANDYCE AND NICO’S ROOM
Candyce candles and tries to get Nico in a romantic mood.
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – DAY
It’s cloudy overhead, and there’s a low rumble of thunder. Felix is waiting at a traffic light when a big rig turns on its side and crashes in the intersection, block the street to the hotel. No one is hurt.
Felix gets out of his car and jogs down the street to the hotel.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
The wryneck watches as he enters.
INT. LOBBY
Lily’s pen leaks onto her hand as Felix approaches her. She also notices a chill. Felix shows her a picture of June and asks if she’s in the hotel. When Lily says she can’t divulge information about guests, Felix tells her that if she doesn’t comply she’ll be party to statutory rape. A flustered Lily acquiesces.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is on the phone with her mother when Felix comes off the elevator and suddenly her connection dies. She freaks when she sees a cockroach.
Felix hears the sounds of sex coming from a room and knocks on the door.
INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl and Autumn having sex in their room. Their condom breaks and Autumn rushes to the bathroom.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily tells Felix it’s the wrong room, and leads him to the correct one. Ivar answers the door in his boxers, surprised to see Felix, who pushes past him.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix finds June wrapped in a sheet and tells her to get dressed. Both she and Ivar try to explain, but Felix is having none of it. Ivar knocks over a lamp and sets it back up without the shade.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The argument spills out into the hallway as Felix drags June away.
Alfred enters the hallway and tries to calm everyone, advising Ivar to back down.
INT. PEARL AND AUTUMN’S ROOM
Pearl snorts cocaine. Autumn re-enters and asks what all the noise is outside.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn, Pearl, Candyce, Nico, and Mallory all come to check on the scene.
Alfred’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack. Mallory realizes what’s happening, tells someone to call an ambulance while she gets something from her room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory gets a thing from her room, not realizing that the bottle of naxolone drops to the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix gets off the phone, but remembers the accident at the intersection and realizes an ambulance won’t be able to get through. They decide to carry him downstairs so they can get him to Felix’s car.
The elevator busts. They have to take the stairs.
INT. STAIRWELL
As they head down the stairs, the stairwell collapses, Mallory nearly falls, but Felix and Ivar help her up while Lily supports Alfred. They are forced to head back upstairs.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Alfred panics, says he’s not ready to die after all, fears there’s nothing on the other side. He dies.
Ivar comforts a frightened June, to her father’s chagrin. Mallory is hit hard. When asked if she’s a doctor, she relates that she’s a former paramedic who quit because she got tired of seeing people die.
Nico yells at Lily for the hotel’s unsafe state.
Pearl becomes panicky. Nico yells at him to be quiet. Autumn and Candyce calm their respective partners. The characters note a drop in temperature around Felix.
Nico calls the police, explaining the situation and emphasizing there’s a pregnant woman in the building.
They’re going to have to wait. Mallory asks that they move Alfred out of the hallway.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
They lay him on the bed. Nico notices the gun on the bed.
EXT. INTERSECTION NEAR HOTEL – NIGHT
Police are trying to move the big rig, but it’s going to take time.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Autumn talks about putting out positive vibes, to Nico’s annoyance.
Felix glances in a hallway mirror and sees his reflection start to become the Jinx. He has a sense of what’s happening, but says nothing.
June becomes friendly with Candyce, and asks her about the baby. Candyce makes a joke about being impregnated by a Swedish bodybuilder.
People note the cold. Ivar goes to get a blanket for June.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Felix follows Ivar and talks to them about his relationship with June. Ivar trips and falls on the lamp, breaking the bulb which punctures his throat. Felix calls for help.
INT. HALLWAY
Mallory and June rush to the room.
INT. JUNE AND IVAR’S ROOM
Mallory tries to cover Ivar’s wound, but he dies. It upsets her deeply.
June and Mallory are suspicious of Felix. He tries to comfort June, but she keeps her distance.
INT. HALLWAY
The three return, only reporting that Ivar had an accident, though Mallory keeps her eye on Felix.
Pearl babbles about conspiracy theories, suggesting they’re in some kind of controlled experiment; the elevator, the stairwell, the crash, Alfred, and Ivar can’t all be coincidences. Autumn suggests a supernatural cause, which Nico balks at.
Pearl is for getting out of dodge, and Nico agrees. They open the elevator doors and find the car stuck between this and the next floor down. Lily advises against this, citing regulations and insisting the police will be here soon. Candyce is worried but Nico assures her.
They climb onto the car and open the ceiling hatch.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
They drop down and try to pry open the doors. There’s not enough room to get to the next floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix stands near the open elevator doors.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The cable suddenly snaps. The elevator drops several feet and the breaks take hold.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
Now they’re stuck between the next two floors down.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Everyone is trying to see down into the shaft, including Felix.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The brakes creak.
INT. ELEVATOR CAR
Pearl and Nico scramble to get out.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Autumn and Mallory kneel down to help pull them out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix looks over his shoulder the wryneck on a stand, flopping its head.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl coughs and becomes dizzy. He tries to help Nico up, but can’t.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others turn to Felix for help, but he backs away.
June and Autumn hold onto Mallory as she leans into the shaft.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
The brakes creak and the car drops an inch. Nico runs, jumps, and is caught by Mallory, who pulls her up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Nico climbs to safety.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl sorta comes out of his daze and tries to jump, but misses.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix backs further away.
INT. ELEVATOR SHAFT
Pearl jumps and is caught by Mallory just as the brakes fail and the car plummets. Pearl is hauled up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory demands to know why Felix chickened out on them, and becomes horrified when she sees the head of his shadow flopping like the wryneck.
Confrontation. Felix tries to explain himself. Peal freaks out. Nico threatens Felix. June defends her father.
Autumn notices the cold. She moves to the far end of the hall and feels the difference in temperature. She suggests the cold indicates the range of the Jinx’s influence.
Felix agrees to quarantine in a room, but insists that June stay on the phone with him.
NOTE: Throughout, the symptoms of Felix’s tumor (fatigue, difficulty speaking, headaches, nausea, imbalance) subside and he becomes stronger, quicker, and more focused.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix waits alone, not knowing what to do. The wryneck appears, chirping in a way that sounds like laughing. Felix attacks the bird, chases it, eventually capturing it and killing it. It reappears elsewhere, still laughing at him.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Nico looks out the window.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It thunders overhead and rain falls.
Down below, guests and staff have fled the building, police and medics tending to them. Up the street, they’re still trying to drag away the big rig. Nico urges them to hurry up.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl paces nervously, unaware that his shoes have come untied and he passes the elevator again and again. He’s showing early signs of overdose. Mallory questions him, but he just says he’s coming down from his high.
Candyce calms herself singing to her baby, and encourages June to join in. Pearl tells them to be quiet. Nico jumps to Candyce’s defense. There’s an argument. Autumn cuts in and tells Pearl to tie his shoes.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix’s phone is nearing death. He finds a charge and plugs it into a power strip, the wryneck watching. There’s a spark and the power goes out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The lights go out.
They set up cell phones along the hallway to act as lights.
Cockroaches swarm over Mallory, who becomes hysterical, nearly backing into the open elevator shaft. Autumn calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches.
Pearl’s overdose kicks into full swing. Recognizing the symptoms, Mallory runs to get the naxolone from her room. But Felix’s room is in between.
INT. TBD ROOM
Hearing the situation over the phone, Felix says he’s get the naxolone.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory guides Felix over the phone.
Felix exits his room and enters Mallory’s.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Felix unknowing kicks the naxolone with his foot, sending it further under the bed. He can’t find it. His phone dies.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is dying. Mallory throws caution to the wind and runs for her room.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
They scour the scour.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Pearl is losing consciousness.
INT. MALLORY’S ROOM
Mallory finds the bottle and bolts out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix follows her. Mallory trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator. Seeing this, Felix retreats back toward his room.
Autumn grabs it just before it goes over the lip and rushes it to Pearl. Too late. He’s dead.
[ESTABLISH SOMEHOW THAT THIS CAUSES THE JINX’S POWER TO SPREAD]
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
A melting candle ignites the bed sheet in the room and a fire breaks out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Everyone is comforting Autumn.
Lily smells the smoke, goes to check. It’s cold near the room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Shit! Fire!
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Lily runs to the fire cabinet. She grabs the extinguisher and Nico grabs the hose.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Lily tries to put out the fire, but it’s too much. Nico’s hose won’t work.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Nico runs to another room. Mallory follows.
INT. ANOTHER ROOM
Nico grabs the bed sheet and rushes to the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM
Nico turns on the bathtub and soaks the sheet.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Nico slaps at the flames while Lily sprays with the fire extinguisher. Felix enters to help, but Nico tells him to get the fuck out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix retreats back into his room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
June comes in and tosses water from an ice bucket on the flames.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June and Candyce exchange buckets. Candyce passes the empty one to Mallory.
INT. BATHROOM
Mallory fills an ice bucket with water.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The buckets are exchanged again.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The fire is put out. Nico chokes on the fumes and collapses. Lily goes to help her up.
The leg of a burnt dress snaps. The dresser falls. Lily pushes Nico out of the way before being crushed by the dresser.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Candyce and Mallory immediately feel the cold.
[CONTINUE TO ESTABLISH THE BROADENING OF THE FIELD]
They hear June screaming and run to see
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Mallory rushes to Lily but quickly sees it’s a lost cause.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Mallory is furious and begins kicking the walls.
Autumn becomes hysterical. Candyce tries to comfort her, but Autumn becomes belligerent. Nico steps between them, and the two begin shoving each other. Autumn falls backward into the open elevator shaft. Nico screams “Nooo!”
Silence. Everyone is in shock. Then Candyce goes into labor.
Nico gets up and goes to Alfred’s room.
INT. ALFRED’S ROOM
Nico retrieves Alfred’s gun.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The others see Nico approaching.
June stops her. There’s a struggle. The gun goes off, shooting Nico in the leg. She falls, another shot going off. It ricochets and nicks the artery in June’s neck.
INT. TBD ROOM
Felix hears the gunshots and Mallory screaming Nico’s name, and runs out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix rounds the corner to see Mallory tending to Nico. Mallory gets the bleeding under control and tells Felix (who’s keeping his distance) she’ll be fine.
Felix tells her to throw him the gun. Nico tries to stop her, but Mallory complies.
Just as Felix picks up the gun, an earthquake strikes.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Everyone wobbles. Windows shatter. Cracks form on the sides of the building. All along the street, buildings wobble.
INT. LOBBY
The floor splits. Part of the ceiling collapses.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
A piece of the ceiling caves in, blocking Felix from returning to his room. He tells the others to get away from him and keep June safe.
As they are running away, the floor collapses beneath Mallory.
INT. NEXT FLOOR DOWN
Mallory hits the floor below and breaks through it.
INT. TWO FLOORS DOWN
Mallory splats against the floor.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
Felix shares a final glance with June, then retreats into the furthest room he can. Candyce and Nico drag June away.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
The three enter the room, June not wanting to let her father go. Candyce says it’s not cold in the room.
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix prepares to shoot himself and sees his reflection in the mirror. It has its back to him. Suddenly, the head flips backward and gawks at Felix upside down. The reflection turns to face him, the head transformed into the birdlike Jinx.
Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
No more! Felix brings the gun to his head and fires. The gun jams. He smashes the window open, puts his foot on the sill. He slips on the rain water and falls on his back, spraining it, unable to move. The Jinx taunts him the whole while.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
Candyce is having labor pains.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The fire truck is finally able to reach the hotel. The ladder is extended to the open window and a firefighter climbs up.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter enters the window and calls out.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The firefighter notes the cold, calls out again.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM
They hear him.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They call back. He tells them to come to him. They dread doing so but have no other choice.
They meet him at hole in the floor. June has an idea and goes back to the room.
INT. FARTHEST ROOM BATHROOM
June grabs the shower curtain rod.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June extends the rod across the opening. The firefighter holds it, and pulls as June leaps across the gulf.
Candyce next. She grabs hold of the rod. The floor gives out beneath her and she falls. June and firefighter are nearly dragged down.
Nico leaps over the opening and helps them all up.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
The firefighter gets on the ladder first.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
It’s raining hard. The firefighter turns to face Candyce, slips, nearly falls.
Candyce is terrified, but Nico kisses her and hands her off to the second firefighter. Everyone moves slowly. June and Nico hold the ladder.
The rubble beneath the fire truck shifts. The ladder shakes. The firefighter falls to his death. Candyce loses her grip and dangles over the ground below. Nico climbs out onto the ladder and saves Candyce.
Another firefighter comes to retrieve Candyce. Lightning strikes a transformer. The pole slams against the hotel and the power cable comes a-swinging. Nico dodges it. It comes swinging back. Nico slides down the ladder and leaps off just as the cable electrifies the ladder. Nico’s leg is broken, but she’s otherwise okay.
Using their hose, the firefighters blasts the pole far back enough that the cable falls away from the ladder.
It’s June’s turn. But instead of to go down the later, she instead goes to rescue her father.
INT. FELIX’S ROOM
Felix has barely gotten to his feet when June enters. He tells her to get away, but she holds him up. The Jinx won’t allow him to die, she reasons, so as long as they’re together, she’s safe.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
June supports Felix as they stumble through the hall. The floor creaks. Debris threatens to fall. But they make it to the room.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
They reach the ladder.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The pole slips and falls onto the fire truck, electrifying it. The truck explodes and the ladder falls.
INT. NICO AND CANDYCE’S ROOM
Now what?
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
They take the useless fire hose and drop it down the opening in the floor. Candyce holds onto her father’s back as he climbs down.
INT. TWO FLOORS DOWN
They reach the floor and hobble toward the staircase. The ceiling collapses and Felix pulls his daughter away just before she’s crushed.
INT. STAIRWELL
The landing below them is still intact. They jump together. June is nearly impaled on the broken railing, but Felix twists in midair. They land roughly and roll down the steps. They stop with an inch between a rebar and June’s face.
INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
The whole thing collapses.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Debris falls from all sides. Everyone backs up.
INT. STAIRWELL
The two get up, climb over the debris. It’s blocking the door. They remove it together. Pull the door open just wide enough for one. Who goes first? They hold hands. Felix will go first and pull June after him. They start.
INT. LOBBY
A pillar collapses, exposing a water main. Water shoves the door closed on June’s arm.
INT. STAIRWELL
Rubble falls all around June.
INT. LOBBY
Felix screams for help.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
Firefighters come running.
INT. LOBBY
One slips on the wet tiles. The other gets to Felix.
INT. STAIRWELL
The roof of the stairwell caves in.
INT. LOBBY
The firefighter and Felix get the door open and free June just in the nick of time. They flee to the exit, the building collapsing all around them. They leap out the door.
EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT
The hotel comes down. Everyone seems safe. Felix and June hug. Stand. Holding hands, a foot apart.
A police car approaches.
INT. POLICE CAR – MOVING
The wryneck zips past the windshield and startles the driver.
EXT. HOTEL
The police car skids, hits the fallen power pole, flips.
Slow mo: it heads straight for June. Felix spins her out of the way, taking her spot. The car hits him, sending him flying into a standing piece of wall.
June comes to her dying father’s side. They have a final moment before he goes.
The wryneck flies off.
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MICAH’S CHARACTER JOURNEY TRACK
What I learned doing this assignment is that forcing yourself to flesh out your characters like this helps bring them into focus and come up with scenes and sequences based solely on their personalities. It’s also important to make sure everyone serves a purpose and to question what insight everyone brings to the others/audience.
FELIX CLOVER
Profile
Role
(from Lesson 3): The Carrier
Traits
(main characteristics): Unlucky, frustrated, depressed, selfless
Fears
(Primal fears): impending death, threats to his daughter
Wants/Needs
(main motivations): wants to overcome his illness; needs to protect his
daughter5. Likability / Rooting factors: keeps a stiff upper lip despite being terminally ill; comically flustered
How
they react under stress: flustered, overwhelmed at first, increasingly
proactive
Relationship
with other characters: generally friendly, though mostly preoccupied with
his own issuesJourney
Character
Intro: montage of misfortunes ending with Felix being diagnosed with an
inoperable brain tumor
Denial:
initially dismisses all the small misfortunes as accidents; becomes
increasingly afraid as he starts to believe they might be his fault.
Their
reaction at first horror: incredulous, preoccupied with taking care of his
daughter
Relation
to group after first horror: focuses on keeping his daughter safe;
increasingly sees the others as people he has put in danger
How
they fight back: keep distant from others so as not to inflict the curse
on them, later attempt suicide
End
Point: dies giving his life to protect his daughter and end the curse
What
insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience?: Felix
is the key to all the horrors, and his presence (up until his
self-sacrifice) puts others in dangerJUNE
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Lover/Rebel
2. Traits (main characteristics): rebellious, frightened, empathetic
Fears (Primal fears): losing
her loved ones
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants to be with her boyfriend; needs to feel loved
Likability / Rooting factors:
caring toward others, struggling with her parents’ divorce, hidden
sweetness
How they react under stress:
frightened, but increasingly heroic
Relationship with other
characters: friendly toward strangers, cold toward her parentsJourney
1. Character Intro: sitting angrily in car while her divorcing parents talk / expressing her grief to her boyfriend
Denial: doesn’t know the
accidents are the result of a curse
Their reaction at first horror:
flee into her boyfriend’s arms
Relation to group after first
horror: sympathetic to everyone’s unique plight
How they fight back: help
others, protect father, hope there’s a way to save him
End Point:
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?IVAR
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Lover
2. Traits (main characteristics): loving, protective, nervous, horny
Fears (Primal fears):
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants to have sex with June; needs to be accepted by her parents
Likability / Rooting factors:
is a gentleman to June; is respectful to and comically nervous around
Felix; is protective of June
How they react under stress:
gets flustered, but heroism shines through
Relationship with other
characters: loves June, is nervous toward Felix but stands up to himJourney
1. Character Intro: making out with June and listening to her problems
Denial: doesn’t realize that
the accidents are connected to Felix
Their reaction at first horror:
protect June
Relation to group after first
horror: focused solely on June, emboldened to stand up to Felix
How they fight back:
End Point: dies of freak
accident while getting June a blanket
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?: demonstrates how suddenly and
lethally the Jinx can strikeCANDYCE VIVO
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Innocent / Lover
2. Traits (main characteristics): funny, girly, loving
Fears (Primal fears): harm
coming to her wife or baby
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
needs to get her unborn baby out of the hotel
Likability / Rooting factors:
funny, tries to keep things light, pregnant woman
How they react under stress:
makes jokes, tries to be a calming presence
Relationship with other
characters: loves Nico, kind to everyoneJourney
1. Character Intro: checking into the hotel with Nico, making a joke to the clerk
Denial: doesn’t realize that
the accidents are connected to Felix
Their reaction at first horror:
saddened, wants to help others
Relation to group after first
horror: motherly
How they fight back:
End Point: escapes the hotel and
is taken to the hospital to give birth
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?: the Jinx is relentless, even
toward a pregnant womanNICO VIVO
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Aggressor / Lover
2. Traits (main characteristics): confrontational, action-oriented,
Fears (Primal fears): harm
coming to her wife or unborn child
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants to be a badass in front of Candyce / needs to protect Candyce and
unborn child at all costs
Likability / Rooting factors:
action-oriented, loved by Candyce, loving toward Candyce, comically grumpy
How they react under stress:
complain, get aggressive, try to solve the problem
Relationship with other characters:
devoted to Candyce, generally indifferent to othersJourney
1. Character Intro: checking into hotel, complaining
Denial: doesn’t know the
accidents are connected to Felix
Their reaction at first horror:
protective of Candyce, suspicious of all these accidents
Relation to group after first
horror: Candyce is the only one that matters
How they fight back: confront
Felix, bully him, try to kill him
End Point: escapes hotel with
Candyce
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?LILY
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Sacrifice
2. Traits (main characteristics): flustered, bewildered
Fears (Primal fears):
disapproval, getting in trouble, confrontation
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants her shift to be over / needs everything to be under control
Likability / Rooting factors:
innocent, pitiful, comically overwhelmed
How they react under stress:
freaks out, keeps her head down, tries to fix things
Relationship with other characters:
tries to please everyone but has no control over anythingJourney
1. Character Intro: checking people in at the front desk
Denial: insists that someone will
come save them and that everything will be fine
Their reaction at first horror:
freak out
Relation to group after first
horror: makes pitiful attempts to calm everyone and take control
How they fight back: leads the brigade
to fight the fire
End Point: killed by a
collapsing cabinet after helping to put out fire
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?: emphasizes the futility of trying
to combat the JinxMR. ALFRED LAMB
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): red shirt
2. Traits (main characteristics): affable, avuncular, secretly sad, suicidal
Fears (Primal fears): living
without his wife
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants to be with his dead wife, needs people to be happy and appreciate
life
Likability / Rooting factors:
sweet old man, tragically lost his wife and wants to join her, tries to
make situations better
How they react under stress: acts
as a calming influence
Relationship with other characters:
kind to everyone but also speaks with the authority of ageJourney
8. Character Intro: checking into hotel, later looking at his wife’s picture in room and pulling out gun
Denial:
Their reaction at first horror:
panics, decides he doesn’t want to die
Relation to group after first
horror:
How they fight back:
End Point: dies of a heart
attack after his pacemaker fails
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?: learn that the Jinx is able to
kill peoplePEARL
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Liability
2. Traits (main characteristics): paranoid, panicky, high
Fears (Primal fears):
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants sensation and forgetfulness, needs stability and control
Likability / Rooting factors:
pathetic, funny in his franticness
How they react under stress:
scatterbrained, panicky, talks a mile a minute
Relationship with other characters:
Autumn’s lover, indifferent to othersJourney
1. Character Intro: having sex with Autumn when his condom breaks
Denial:
Their reaction at first horror:
panics, can’t stand being trapped
Relation to group after first
horror: becomes suspicious that someone is being these happenings
How they fight back: vomit conspiracy
theories
End Point: dies of a fentanyl
overdose
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?: demonstrates how the Jinx “chases”
victimsAUTUMN
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Sage
2. Traits (main characteristics): hippie, spiritual
Fears (Primal fears): karmic retribution
Wants/Needs (main motivations):Likability / Rooting factors: wise,
empathetic, loving and tolerant of Pearl
How they react under stress: stays
Zen (until she loses Pearl)
Relationship with other characters:
Pearl’s lover, slightly condescending toward othersJourney
1. Character Intro: having sex with Pearl when his condom breaks
Denial:
Their reaction at first horror:
suspects there must be a cause for it all
Relation to group after first
horror: provides insight, but all suspicious of who might be the cause of
it all
How they fight back: search for
knowledge
End Point: accidentally knocked
down the elevator shaft by Nico
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?: makes the first suggestion that
there is a spiritual force behind the incidentsMALLORY
Profile
1. Role (from Lesson 3): Medic
2. Traits (main characteristics): cool-headed, severe
Fears (Primal fears): seeing
others die
Wants/Needs (main motivations):
wants things to be calm, needs to keep others safe
Likability / Rooting factors:
aids others who are hurt, heroic, sensitive
How they react under stress:
goes into action mode, thinks clearly
Relationship with other characters:
de facto medicJourney
1. Character Intro: on the phone with mother, loses connection when Felix steps out of elevator
Denial:
Their reaction at first horror:
try to save Mr. Lamb
Relation to group after first
horror: protective
How they fight back: attempt to
prevent further death by attending to all injuries
End Point: falls through the
collapsing floor
What insight do their deaths or
survival bring to the others/audience?OUTLINE:
Atmosphere of Evil established: a boy follows his dog onto the property of an old hermit, and is nearly killed by a series of mishaps before one of the townsfolk shoots the hermit from afar.
MONSTER REVEAL: boy is warned not to go near the Hermit’s large, barren property. Hermit, in his home, is tormented by the presence of the wryneck bird. When the boy walks onto the property, everyone, including the hermit, becomes terrified and warn him to leave. A series of accidents place the boy in a mortal danger: his dog is led off by a rabbit, he breaks his leg in a gofer hole, wolves converge.
DEATH – HERMIT: shot by boy’s father from a distance
Why: establish the limitation of the Jinx’s powers, start the film off with a death
How: preventing a boy’s death
Connect with the characters: “Some people have all the luck montage” shows FELIX’S poor luck throughout his life, including the end of his marriage, concluding with his being diagnosed with a brain tumor. He makes the deal with the Jinx. Later, he sees minor improvements as people experience accidents around him.
MONSTER REVEAL: Felix gets messages in fortune cookies saying he can give his bad luck to someone else, and to answer the door. There’s a tiny peck at the door. Felix answers it. There’s a wryneck bird outside. Felix makes a deal with the bird and it scratches his face, though a moment later the scratch is gone.
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix’s ordeal with the wryneck. Felix looks at the fortunes again and sees that they’re all normal.
REACTION: (Denial) Felix believes that his tumor is making him hallucinate
FELIX’S ex brings him divorce papers. Though she suspects something’s wrong, he doesn’t tell her about his diagnosis. They commiserate over their daughter’s behavior and their concerns about his boyfriend.
JUNE waits out in the car, texting with her boyfriend, unwilling to come inside.
The characters are warned not to do it: people near to Felix are injured
Denial of Horror: Felix dismisses all the strange occurrences as freak accidents
MONSTER REVEAL: There are a series of small accidents that establish that other people’s misfortunes are having a positive effect on Felix’s health. Additionally, it is established that the air is cold in a field around him, and that there is a limit to his field of influence.
Wife stops by to have divorce papers signed. She notes that it’s cold near Felix. Small accidents.
Felix leaves to see his doctor, and the mailman has a small accident.
Felix learns that his situation has slightly improved, and the doctor has a small accident. The doctor also notices it’s cold in his office.
Felix is speaking with neighbor who feels cold near Felix, though their partner on the other side of the fence doesn’t feel it. They witness a small boy nearly getting run over by his father backing out of the driveway, but the crisis is averted.
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) A car is about to back into a small boy in a driveway.
REACTION: (Solve It) Felix begins to react when the boy’s mother jumps behind the car and stops it.
JUNE tells her woes to IVAR. She’s upset about her parents divorce, and begs him never to leave her. The two sneak out together.
Connect with the characters II: the various characters arrive at the hotel for their own reasons.
LILY checks in MR. LAMB. The affable man insists on giving her a tip. When he gets to his room however, he stares sadly at his wife’s photo. There’s a gun in his suitcase.
CANDYCE and NICO check into the hotel. Nico is grumpy, Candyce lighthearted. Candyce makes a joke to Lily, who is confused by Candyce’s pregnancy.
Felix’s ex calls him to say she doesn’t know where June is. Felix checks the phone app and sees she’s gone to the hotel, and he fears she’s gone there with her older boyfriend.
MONSTER REVEAL: A much larger accident takes place when a big rig truck crashes, though no one is seriously hurt.
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) a big rig truck crashes near Felix on his way to the hotel, cutting off the intersection
REACTION: (Denial) Though startled, Felix does not believe it’s related to him
MONSTER REVEAL: The wryneck is seen outside the hotel as Felix enters.
MONSTER REVEAL: More misfortune’s occur as Felix moves through the hotel.
CANDYCE lights candles and tries to get NICO in a romantic room.
FELIX demands to know what room his daughter is in, threatening LILY with legal action if she doesn’t comply.
MALLORY is on the phone with her mother when Felix comes off the elevator and suddenly her connection dies. She freaks when she sees a cockroach.
PEARL and AUTUMN are having sex in their room. Felix mistakenly thinks it’s his June and Ivar. Their condom breaks and Autumn rushes to the bathroom.
FELIX finds JUNE in the hotel room with IVAR. While Ivar tries to appeal to him, Felix drags her away.
MR. LAMB reacts to all the shouting and tries to calm everyone.
PEARL snorts cocaine.
Safety taken away: Mr. Lamb’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) Mr. Lamb has a heart attack and the road is blocked off, preventing an ambulance from arriving
REACTION: (Solve It) the characters choose to carry Mr. Lamb outside
MALLORY diagnoses what’s happening to Alfred and gives medical advice. She goes to retrieve something from her room, inadvertently dropping the naxolone under the bed
ALFRED panics, says he’s not ready to die after all, fears there’s nothing on the other side.
MONSTER REVEAL: The first death occurs.
DEATH – Alfred Lamb: pacemaker fails
Why: establish the lethal situation the characters are in
How: attempting to calm others
IVAR comforts a frightened JUNE, to her father’s chagrin. MALLORY takes it hard, as she does whenever somebody dies.
Monster: The nature of the beast: a series of accidents prevent the characters from being able to leave
MONSTER REVEAL: The characters become trapped in the hotel.
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the elevator busts and the stairwell collapses, trapping everyone upstairs.
REACTION: (Solve It) characters call the police for help
NICO yells at LILY for the hotel’s unsafe state.
PEARL becomes panicky. NICO yells at him to be quiet. AUTUMN and CANDYCE calm their respective lovers.
MONSTER REVEAL: Characters note a drop in temperature around Felix.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The elevator is broken and the stairs are collapsed
When asked if she’s a doctor, MALLORY relates that she’s a former paramedic who quit because she got tired of seeing people die.
NICO calls the police, explaining the situation and emphasizing there’s a pregnant woman in the building.
AUTUMN talks about putting out positive vibes, to NICO’s annoyance.
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the crashed big rig is preventing the fire truck from getting to the hotel
REACTION: (Solve It) The police drag it away with trucks, but it takes timeHORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Felix witnesses his reflection start to become the Jinx
REACTION: (Hide) flees and tries to ignore what happened
JUNE becomes friendly with CANDYCE, and asks her about the baby. CANDYCE makes a joke about being impregnated by a Swedish bodybuilder.
One of us killed: June’s boyfriend Ivar is killed
DEATH – Ivar: trips and falls onto a sharp object
Why: establish the random/sudden nature of the Jinx; motivate characters to action
How: attempting to comfort June (getting her a blanket)
MALLORY tries to aid Ivar, to no avail. It upsets her deeply.
HORROR SITUATION: (Torment) June sees Ivar killed
REACTION: (Solve It) Felix comforts herJUNE rejects her father’s comfort.
PEARL babbles about conspiracy theories, suggesting they’re in some kind of controlled experiment. AUTUMN suggests a supernatural cause, which NICO balks at.
HORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) the elevator has stopped working and the stairs have collapsed
REACTION: (Solve It) they open the elevator shaft to see if they can climb down
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) while Pearl and Nico are inside the car, the cable snaps
REACTION: (Escape) characters are pulled to safety just before they fall to their doom
LILY advises against trying to climb down the elevator, siting regulations and insisting the police will be here soon.
PEARL starts to panic during the elevator sequence, and it looks for a moment like he might abandon NICO, but he’s just having a reaction to the fentanyl. He returns to help her.
AUTUMN plays with her tarot cards, secretly drawing cards for everyone. Every time she does, she pulls the death card for Felix. Keeping an eye on him, she’s the first to notice his twisting shadow.
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix’s shadow twists and flops its head in front of everyone
REACTION: (Fight) Nico confronts Felix, thinking he’s deliberately harming everyone
PEARL freaks the fuck out. NICO threatens Felix. JUNE becomes defensive of her father.
MONSTER REVEAL: The characters note the cold surrounding Felix and that it only extends a certain distance.
MONSTER REVEAL: Throughout, the symptoms of Felix’s tumor (fatigue, difficulty speaking, headaches, nausea, imbalance) subside and he becomes stronger, quicker, and more focused.
MIDPOINT — THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT
Full pursuit by the killer: accidents occur in rapid succession
To assuage everyone’s anxieties, FELIX agrees to withdraw into a room alone, but he insists June stay on the phone with him at all times.
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix sees the wryneck, which is chirping in a way that sounds like laughing
REACTION: (Fight) Felix attacks the bird and kills it, only to find it has teleported elsewhere and is still laughing at him
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Pearl is unaware that his shoes have come untied as he’s walking near to the elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn notices and tells him to tie his shoes
CANDYCE calms herself singing to her baby, and encourages JUNE to join in. NICO tells them to be quiet, but immediately becomes apologetic.
MONSTER REVEAL: Characters begin noticing the cold even though Felix is at a distance.
PEARL shows early signs of overdose. MALLORY questions him, but he just says he’s coming down from his high.
MONSTER REVEAL: June chokes on a piece of food even that she is at a far distance from Felix.
Terrorized: the range of the Jinx’s influence expands and the accidents become more intense
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated/Danger) Felix is keeping his distance from everyone, communicating via phone when June begins choking on a piece of food
REACTION: (Fight) Felix comes to his daughter’s rescue and performs the Heimlich maneuver on herHORROR SITUATION: (Spooky/Isolated) the power in the building goes out
REACTION: (Solve It) group searches for means of lighting the hallways, including computers and phones
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) Mallory is covered in cockroaches and, in her hysteria, nearly back into the open elevator shaft
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) a melting candle ignites the bed sheet in Nico/Candyce’s room and a fire breaks out
REACTION: (Fight) grab the fire extinguisher; create bucket brigade
LILY gets the fire extinguisher. PEARL chokes on the fumes and collapses. LILY goes to help him when the dresser collapses.
DEATH – Lily: burnt dresser collapses and crushes
Why: surprise!
How: killed trying to prevent more death
AUTUMN suggests using the cold to determine how far the Jinx can reach. FELIX goes to the far end of the hall, everyone else back slowly away.
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) at a crucial moment, Pearl suffers an overdose from an earlier intake of cocaine laced with fentanyl.
REACTION: (Solve It) Mallory runs to get the naxolone from her room
HORROR SITUATION: Felix blocks the way to Mallory’s room
REACTION: (Solve It) Felix goes to find it instead
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) the naxolone has fallen beneath the bed and Felix can’t find it
REACTION: (Solve It) Mallory throws caution to the wind and helps Felix find it (possibly others too)
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) Mallory trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn grabs it just before it goes over the lip
DEATH – Pearl: drug overdose
Why: establish active pursuit of the Jinx through a lengthy race (also, drugs are bad, mm’kay?)
How: being reckless
MALLORY becomes furious and begins kicking things.
AUTUMN becomes hysterical. CANDYCE tries to comfort her, but AUTUMN becomes belligerent. NICO steps between them, and the two begin shoving each other.
DEATH – Autumn: Falls down open elevator shaft
Why: surprise again!!
How: fighting with Nico
HORROR SITUATION: (Paranoia) Nico retrieves Mr. Lamb’s gun and tries to shoot Felix
REACTION: (Escape/Fight) June stops her; Nico accidentally shoots herself in the legHORROR SITUATION: (Torture) a ricochet from the gun grazes the artery in June’s throat
REACTION: (Solve It) Mallory stops the bleedingACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: seeing his daughter nearly die, Felix takes up the gun; before he can make away with it, an earthquake hits and the building starts to collapse
HORROR SITUATION: an earthquake strikes and the structure of the building is compromised
REACTION: (Escape) everyone tries to avoid the destruction
FELIX tells the others to keep JUNE safe, then takes the fallen gun and retreats to the furthest room he can. JUNE doesn’t want to let him go, but the others draw her away.
DEATH – Mallory Weathers: falls through floor
Why: remove the only medical expert before Eve goes into labor
How: fleeing from danger
HORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) a portion of the ceiling caves in, preventing Felix from getting as far away from the others as he can
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone else moves to the furthest room in the building
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Felix witnesses his reflection completely turn into the Jinx
REACTION: (Fight) Felix confronts the creature and learns about its motives and power
MONSTER REVEAL: Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
Hysteria: Candyce goes into labor; Felix locks himself in a room and attempts to kill himself; the Jinx prevents him and Felix ends up on the floor with a sprained back, unable to move
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Candyce goes into labor
REACTION: (Escape) Candyce escapes from the building via police ladder
The thrilling escape from death: firefighters arrive to rescue the survivors via ladder; but there is no window in the room furthest from Felix, and so they must venture into the field of danger to be rescued.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) survivors must get around the collapse in the floor to get to the fire ladder, including Candyce who is in labor
REACTION: (Solve It) they retrieve a shower rod; June makes it across, then she and firefighter use the rod to pull people to safety as they jump
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) The floor gives out beneath Candyce and she falls through the floor; June and firefight are nearly pulled down with her as the floor continues to collapse
REACTION: (Solve It) Nico leaps over the opening and helps pull everyone up
DEATH – Firefighter: slips and falls off the ladder as he’s helping others to safety.
Why: establish the danger of the ladder
How: trying to rescue others
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) it is raining when the survivors attempt to climb down the ladder, causing multiple slip and falls
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone moves cautiously, the firefighters and fellow survivors helping one another
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) lightning strikes a power line and the cable swings toward the ladder
REACTION: (Escape) characters leap from the ladder/try to avoid the swinging wire.
When it comes to JUNE’S turn to go down the later, she instead goes to rescue her father.
MONSTER REVEAL: June goes to retrieve her father, who is unable to move and tells her to leave him. He tells her it won’t let her die.
MONSTER REVEAL: June deduces that she can’t be harmed so long as she’s with her father, as the Jinx will protect him.
Death returns to take one or more: June returns to save her father. But the Jinx tries to separate them.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Felix are about to climb down the fire ladder, lightning strikes the truck and the ladder falls
REACTION: (Escape) they look for another exit
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Felix attempt to escape, the building begins to collapse
REACTION: (Escape) they tie off a bed sheet to hand railing and climb down stairwell, escaping the building just as it collapses
Resolution: Once they make it outside, a flying piece of debris(?) comes flying at June. Felix throws himself in front of the debris at the last second, sacrificing himself for his daughter and defeating the Jinx.
DEATH – Felix Clover: sacrifices self to save daughter (killed by flying debris)
Why: redeem main character and stop the killings for good
How: self-sacrifice
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MICAH’S MONSTER REVEAL TRACK
What I learned doing this assignment is to keep adding layers to the monster throughout the story in order to keep it interesting, and that every great horror movie is part mystery.
Monster: The Jinx, a malevolent spirit that possesses a host and causes misfortune in a radius around him/her.
Powers: cause misfortune to those in proximity to host including death and disaster, expand its field of influence over time
Limitations: cannot allow harm to come to host, is dispelled if host dies, cannot inflict harm beyond its range of influence
Plan/Appetite/Purpose: to cause as much misfortune, especially death, to as many people as possible
Atmosphere of Evil established: a boy follows his dog onto the property of an old hermit, and is nearly killed by a series of mishaps before one of the townsfolk shoots the hermit from afar.
MONSTER REVEAL: boy is warned not to go near the Hermit’s large, barren property. Hermit, in his home, is tormented by the presence of the wryneck bird. When the boy walks onto the property, everyone, including the hermit, becomes terrified and warn him to leave. A series of accidents place the boy in a mortal danger: his dog is led off by a rabbit, he breaks his leg in a gofer hole, wolves converge.
DEATH – HERMIT: shot by boy’s father from a distance
Why: establish the limitation of the Jinx’s powers, start the film off with a death
How: preventing a boy’s death
Connect with the characters: “Some people have all the luck montage” shows Felix’s poor luck throughout his life, including the end of his marriage, concluding with his being diagnosed with a brain tumor. He makes the deal with the Jinx. Later, he sees minor improvements as people experience accidents around him.
MONSTER REVEAL: Felix gets messages in fortune cookies saying he can give his bad luck to someone else, and to answer the door. There’s a tiny peck at the door. Felix answers it. There’s a wryneck bird outside. Felix makes a deal with the bird and it scratches his face, though a moment later the scratch is gone.
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix’s ordeal with the wryneck. Felix looks at the fortunes again and sees that they’re all normal.
REACTION: (Denial) Felix believes that his tumor is making him hallucinate
The characters are warned not to do it: people near to Felix are injured
Denial of Horror: Felix dismisses all the strange occurrences as freak accidents
MONSTER REVEAL: There are a series of small accidents that establish that other people’s misfortunes are having a positive effect on Felix’s health. Additionally, it is established that the air is cold in a field around him, and that there is a limit to his field of influence.
Wife stops by to have divorce papers signed. She notes that it’s cold near Felix. Small accidents.
Felix leaves to see his doctor, and the mailman has a small accident.
Felix learns that his situation has slightly improved, and the doctor has a small accident. The doctor also notices it’s cold in his office.
Felix is speaking with neighbor who feels cold near Felix, though their partner on the other side of the fence doesn’t feel it. They witness a small boy nearly getting run over by his father backing out of the driveway, but the crisis is averted.
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) A car is about to back into a small boy in a driveway.
REACTION: (Solve It) Felix begins to react when the boy’s mother jumps behind the car and stops it.
Connect with the characters II: the various characters arrive at the hotel for their own reasons. Felix’s ex calls him to say she doesn’t know where June is. Felix checks the phone app and sees she’s gone to the hotel, and he fears she’s gone there with her older boyfriend.
MONSTER REVEAL: A much larger accident takes place when a big rig truck crashes, though no one is seriously hurt.
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) a big rig truck crashes near Felix on his way to the hotel, cutting off the intersection
REACTION: (Denial) Though startled, Felix does not believe it’s related to him
MONSTER REVEAL: The wryneck is seen outside the hotel as Felix enters.
MONSTER REVEAL: More misfortune’s occur as Felix moves through the hotel, such as the soda machine not working and Autumn and Pearl’s condemn breaking during sex.
Safety taken away: Mr. Lamb’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) Mr. Lamb has a heart attack and the road is blocked off, preventing an ambulance from arriving
REACTION: (Solve It) the characters choose to carry Mr. Lamb outside
MONSTER REVEAL: The first death occurs.
DEATH – Alfred Lamb: pacemaker fails
Why: establish the lethal situation the characters are in
How: attempting to calm others
Monster: The nature of the beast: a series of accidents prevent the characters from being able to leave
MONSTER REVEAL: The characters become trapped in the hotel.
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the elevator busts and the stairwell collapses, trapping everyone upstairs.
REACTION: (Solve It) characters call the police for help
MONSTER REVEAL: Characters note a drop in temperature around Felix.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The elevator is broken and the stairs are collapsed
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the crashed big rig is preventing the fire truck from getting to the hotel
REACTION: (Solve It) The police drag it away with trucks, but it takes timeHORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Felix witnesses his reflection start to become the Jinx
REACTION: (Hide) flees and tries to ignore what happened
One of us killed: June’s boyfriend Ivar is killed
DEATH – Ivar: trips and falls onto a sharp object
Why: establish the random/sudden nature of the Jinx; motivate characters to action
How: attempting to comfort June (getting her a blanket)
HORROR SITUATION: (Torment) June sees Ivar killed
REACTION: (Solve It) Felix comforts herHORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) the elevator has stopped working and the stairs have collapsed
REACTION: (Solve It) they open the elevator shaft to see if they can climb down
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) while Pearl and Nico are inside the car, the cable snaps
REACTION: (Escape) characters are pulled to safety just before they fall to their doom
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix’s shadow twists and flops its head in front of everyone
REACTION: (Fight) Nico confronts Felix, thinking he’s deliberately harming everyone
MONSTER REVEAL: The characters note the cold surrounding Felix and that it only extends a certain distance.
MONSTER REVEAL: Throughout, the symptoms of Felix’s tumor (fatigue, difficulty speaking, headaches, nausea, imbalance) subside and he becomes stronger, quicker, and more focused.
MIDPOINT — THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT
Full pursuit by the killer: accidents occur in rapid succession
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix sees the wryneck, which is chirping in a way that sounds like laughing
REACTION: (Fight) Felix attacks the bird and kills it, only to find it has teleported elsewhere and is still laughing at him
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Pearl is unaware that his shoes have come untied as he’s walking near to the elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn notices and tells him to tie his shoes
MONSTER REVEAL: Characters begin noticing the cold even though Felix is at a distance.
MONSTER REVEAL: June chokes on a piece of food even that she is at a far distance from Felix.
Terrorized: the range of the Jinx’s influence expands and the accidents become more intense
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated/Danger) Felix is keeping his distance from everyone, communicating via phone when June begins choking on a piece of food
REACTION: (Fight) Felix comes to his daughter’s rescue and performs the Heimlich maneuver on herHORROR SITUATION: (Spooky/Isolated) the power in the building goes out
REACTION: (Solve It) group searches for means of lighting the hallways, including computers and phones
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) Dawn is covered in cockroaches and, in her hysteria, nearly back into the open elevator shaft
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) a melting candle ignites the bed sheet in Nico/Candyce’s room and a fire breaks out
REACTION: (Fight) grab the fire extinguisher; create bucket brigade
DEATH – Tulip: burnt dresser collapses and crushes
Why: surprise!
How: killed trying to prevent more death
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) at a crucial moment, Pearl suffers an overdose from an earlier intake of cocaine laced with fentanyl.
REACTION: (Solve It) Dawn runs to get the naxolone from Pearl’s room
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) the naxolone has fallen beneath the bed
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone scours the room until it is found
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) Dawn trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn grabs it just before it goes over the lip
DEATH – Pearl: drug overdose
Why: establish active pursuit of the Jinx through a lengthy race (also, drugs are bad, mm’kay?)
How: being reckless
DEATH – Autumn: Falls down open elevator shaft
Why: surprise again!!
How: panicking (or possibly) fighting with another character
HORROR SITUATION: (Paranoia) Nico retrieves Autumn’s gun and tries to shoot Felix
REACTION: (Escape/Fight) Summer stops her; Nico accidentally shoots herself in the legHORROR SITUATION: (Torture) a ricochet from the gun grazes the artery in June’s throat
REACTION: (Solve It) Dawn stops the bleedingACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: seeing his daughter nearly die, Felix takes up the gun; before he can make away with it, an earthquake hits and the building starts to collapse
HORROR SITUATION: an earthquake strikes and the structure of the building is compromised
REACTION: (Escape) everyone tries to avoid the destruction
DEATH – Dawn Weathers: falls through floor
Why: remove the only medical expert before Eve goes into labor
How: fleeing from danger
HORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) a portion of the ceiling caves in, preventing Felix from getting as far away from the others as he can
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone else moves to the furthest room in the building
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Felix witnesses his reflection completely turn into the Jinx
REACTION: (Fight) Felix confronts the creature and learns about its motives and power
MONSTER REVEAL: Felix hears the Jinx’s voice in his head, learning that it wants to cause as much misfortune, suffering and death as possible. Felix has flashes of several historical accidents: the Great Fire of London, the Hindenburg Disaster, the Chernobyl meltdown, the Deepwater Horizon spill.
Hysteria: Candyce goes into labor; Felix locks himself in a room and attempts to kill himself; the Jinx prevents him and Felix ends up on the floor with a sprained back, unable to move
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Candyce goes into labor
REACTION: (Escape) Candyce escapes from the building via police ladder
The thrilling escape from death: firefighters arrive to rescue the survivors via ladder; but there is no window in the room furthest from Felix, and so they must venture into the field of danger to be rescued.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) survivors must get around the collapse in the floor to get to the fire ladder, including Candyce who is in labor
REACTION: (Solve It) they retrieve a shower rod; June makes it across, then she and firefighter use the rod to pull people to safety as they jump
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) The floor gives out beneath Candyce and she falls through the floor; June and firefight are nearly pulled down with her as the floor continues to collapse
REACTION: (Solve It) Nico leaps over the opening and helps pull everyone up
MONSTER REVEAL: June goes to retrieve her father, who is unable to move and tells her to leave him. He tells her it won’t let her die.
DEATH – Firefighter: slips and falls off the ladder as he’s helping others to safety.
Why: establish the danger of the ladder
How: trying to rescue others
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) it is raining when the survivors attempt to climb down the ladder, causing multiple slip and falls
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone moves cautiously, the firefighters and fellow survivors helping one another
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) lightning strikes a power line and the cable swings toward the ladder
REACTION: (Escape) characters leap from the ladder/try to avoid the swinging wire.
MONSTER REVEAL: June deduces that she can’t be harmed so long as she’s with her father, as the Jinx will protect him.
Death returns to take one or more: June returns to save her father. But the Jinx tries to separate them.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Felix are about to climb down the fire ladder, lightning strikes the truck and the ladder falls
REACTION: (Escape) they look for another exit
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Felix attempt to escape, the building begins to collapse
REACTION: (Escape) they tie off a bed sheet to hand railing and climb down stairwell, escaping the building just as it collapses
Resolution: Once they make it outside, a flying piece of debris(?) comes flying at June. Felix throws himself in front of the debris at the last second, sacrificing himself for his daughter and defeating the Jinx.
DEATH – Felix Clover: sacrifices self to save daughter (killed by flying debris)
Why: redeem main character and stop the killings for good
How: self-sacrifice
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What I learned doing this assignment is that this is a great way to step back and see exactly which and how many characters are needed in the story.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: Felix’s life is played out opposite another man’s: Felix’s is a life of great luck, whereas the other man’s is full of misfortune. The man ultimate dies in a horrifying freak accident.
DEATH – Unlucky Man: run over by Felix
Why: establish the theme of misfortune and start off movie with a death
How: surprised
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) following his sin, Felix is attacked by a wryneck bird that scratches his face, though a moment later the scratch is gone
REACTION: (Denial) Felix dismisses the freak occurrence
Connect with the characters: the various characters arrive at the hotel for their own reasons.
The characters are warned not to do it: some people near to Felix are injured
Denial of Horror: Felix dismisses all the strange occurrences as freak accidents
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) a big rig truck crashes near Felix on his way to the hotel, cutting off the intersection
REACTION: (Denial) Though startled, Felix does not believe it’s related to him
Safety taken away: Mr. Lamb’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) Mr. Lamb has a heart attack and the road is blocked off, preventing an ambulance from arriving
REACTION: (Solve It) the characters choose to carry Mr. Lamb outside
DEATH – Alfred Lamb: pacemaker fails
Why: establish the lethal situation the characters are in
How: attempting to calm others
Monster: The nature of the beast: a series of accidents prevent the characters from being able to leave
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the elevator busts and the stairwell collapses, trapping everyone upstairs.
REACTION: (Solve It) characters call the police for help
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The elevator is broken and the stairs are collapsed
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the crashed big rig is preventing the fire truck from getting to the hotel
REACTION: (Solve It) The police drag it away with trucks, but it takes timeHORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Felix witness his reflection start to become the Jinx
REACTION: (Hide) flees and tries to ignore what happened
One of us killed: June’s boyfriend Ivar is killed
DEATH – Ivar: trips and falls onto a sharp object
Why: establish the random/sudden nature of Jinx; motivate characters to action
How: attempting to comfort June (getting her a blanket)
HORROR SITUATION: (Torment) June sees Ivar killed
REACTION: (Solve It) Felix comforts herHORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) the elevator has stopped working and the stairs have collapsed
REACTION: (Solve It) they open the elevator shaft to see if they can climb down
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) while Kay and Nico are inside the car, the cable snaps
REACTION: (Escape) characters are pulled to safety just before they fall to their doom
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) a character chokes on a piece of food
REACTION: (Solve It) another character performs the Heimlich maneuver (though this means no one can eat or drink)
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix’s shadow twists and flops its head in front of everyone
REACTION: (Fight) Nico confronts Felix, thinking he’s deliberately harming everyone
MIDPOINT — THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT
Full pursuit by the killer: accidents occur in rapid succession
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Felix sees the wryneck, which is chirping in a way that sounds like laughing
REACTION: (Fight) Felix attacks the bird and kills it, only to find it has teleported elsewhere and is still laughing at him
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Kay is unaware that his shoes are come untied and he’s walking near to the elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) Autumn notices and tells him to tie his shoes
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated/Danger) Felix is keeping his distance from everyone, communicating via phone when June is put in mortal danger
REACTION: (Fight) Felix comes to his daughter’s rescueHORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) These misfortunes happen despite Felix being out of proximity.
REACTION: (Solve It) characters must rethink the rules of the dilemma
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky/Isolated) the power in the building goes out
REACTION: (Solve It) group searches for means of lighting the hallways, including computers and phones
Terrorized: the range of the Jinx’s influence expands and the accidents become more intense
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) Dawn is covered in cockroaches and, in her hysteria, nearly back into the open elevator shaft
REACTION: (Solve It) Kay calms her, has her step away from the shaft, and then removes the cockroaches
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) rain water leaks onto the heater in a room; the sparks ignite a bed sheet and a fire breaks out
REACTION: (Fight) grab the fire extinguisher; create bucket brigade
DEATH – Tulip: burnt dresser collapses and crushes
Why: surprise!
How: killed trying to prevent more death
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) at a crucial moment, pearl suffers an overdose from an earlier intake of drugs cocaine laced with fentanyl.
REACTION: (Solve It) Dawn runs to get the naxolone from the Pearl’s room
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) the naxolone has fallen beneath the bed
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone scours the room until it is found
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) someone trips while rushing it to Pearl and it slides toward open elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) Dawn grabs it just before it goes over the lip
DEATH – Pearl: drug overdose
Why: establish active pursuit of the Jinx through a lengthy race (also, drugs are bad, mm’kay?)
How: being reckless
DEATH – Autumn: Falls down open elevator shaft
Why: surprise again!!
How: panicking (or possibly) fighting with another character
HORROR SITUATION: (Paranoia) Nico retrieves Kay’s gun and tries to shoot Felix
REACTION: (Escape/Fight) Summer stops her; Nico accidentally shoots herself in the legHORROR SITUATION: (Torture) a ricochet from the gun grazes the artery in June’s throat
REACTION: (Solve It) Dawn stops the bleedingACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: seeing his daughter nearly die, Felix takes up the gun; before he can make away with it, an earthquake hits and the building starts to collapse
HORROR SITUATION: an earthquake strikes and the structure of the building is compromised
REACTION: (Escape) everyone tries to avoid the destruction
DEATH – Dawn Weathers: falls through floor
Why: remove the only medical expert before Eve goes into labor
How: fleeing from danger
HORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) a portion of the ceiling caves in, preventing Felix from getting as far away from the others as he can
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone else moves to the furthest room in the building
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Felix witnesses his reflection completely turn into the Jinx
REACTION: (Fight) Felix confronts the creature and learns about its motives and power
DEATH – Kay Middleton: TBD
Why: take away one of our most beloved supporters
How: TBD
Hysteria: Candyce goes into labor; Felix locks himself in a room and attempts to kill himself, though the Jinx prevents him and Felix ends up on the floor with a sprained back, unable to move
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Candyce goes into labor
REACTION: (Escape) Candyce escapes from the building via police ladder
The thrilling escape from death: firefighters arrive to rescue the survivors via ladder; but there is no window in the room furthest from Felix, and so they must venture into the field of danger to be rescued.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) survivors must get around the collapse in the floor to get to the fire ladder, including Candyce who is in labor
REACTION: (Solve It) they retrieve a shower rod; June makes it across, then uses the rod to pull people to safety as they jump
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) The floor gives out beneath Candyce and she falls through the floor; June is nearly pulled down with her
REACTION: (Solve It) Nico leaps over the opening and helps pull June and Candyce up
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) it is raining when the survivors attempt to climb down the ladder, causing multiple slip and falls
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone moves cautiously, the firefighters and fellow survivors helping one another
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) lightning strikes a power line and the cable swings toward the ladder
REACTION: (Escape) characters leap from the ladder or otherwise try to avoid the swinging wire.
Death returns to take one or more: June returns to save her father, thinking she can’t die so long as she’s with him. But the Jinx manages to separate them.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Felix are about to climb down the fire ladder, lightning strikes the truck and the ladder falls
REACTION: (Escape) they look for another exit
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Felix attempt to escape, the building begins to collapse
REACTION: (Escape) they tie off a bed sheet to hand railing and climb down stairwell, escaping the building just as it collapses
Resolution: Once they make it outside, a flying piece of debris(?) comes flying at June. Felix throws himself in front of the debris at the last second, sacrificing himself for his daughter and defeating the Jinx.
DEATH – Felix Clover: sacrifices self to save daughter (killed by flying debris)
Why: redeem main character and stop the killings for good
How: self-sacrifice
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MICAH’S HORROR SITUATION TRACK
What I learned doing this assignment is that freely brainstorming a minimum number of major gags (be they horror, comedy, etc.) is a great way to flesh out the story.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: Barry’s life is played out opposite another man’s: Barry’s is a life of great luck, whereas the other man’s is full of misfortune. The man ultimate dies in a horrifying freak accident.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) following his sin, Barry is attacked by a wryneck bird that scratches his face, though a moment later the scratch is gone
REACTION: (Denial) Barry dismisses the freak occurrence
Connect with the characters: the various characters arrive at the hotel for their own reasons.
The characters are warned not to do it: some people near to Barry are injured
Denial of Horror: Barry dismisses all the strange occurrences as freak accidents
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) a big rig truck crashes near Barry on his way to the hotel, cutting off the intersection
REACTION: (Denial) Though startled, Barry does not believe it’s related to him
Safety taken away: Garret’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack
HORROR SITUATION: (Tortured) Garret has a heart attack and the road is blocked off, preventing an ambulance from arriving
REACTION: (Solve It) the characters choose to carry Garret outside
Monster: The nature of the beast: a series of accidents prevent the characters from being able to leave
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the elevator busts and the stairwell collapses, trapping everyone upstairs.
REACTION: (Solve It) characters call the police for help
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The elevator is broken and the stairs are collapsed
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated) the crashed big rig is preventing the fire truck from getting to the hotel
REACTION: (Solve It) The police drag it away with trucks, but it takes timeHORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Barry witness his reflection start to become the Jinx
REACTION: (Hide) flees and tries to ignore what happened
One of us killed: June’s boyfriend Ned is killed
HORROR SITUATION: (Torment) June sees Ned killed
REACTION: (Solve It) Barry comforts herHORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) the elevator has stopped working and the stairs have collapsed
REACTION: (Solve It) they open the elevator shaft to see if they can climb down
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) while two characters are inside the car, the cable snaps
REACTION: (Escape) characters are pulled to safety just before they fall to their doom
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) a character chokes on a piece of food
REACTION: (Solve It) another character performs the Heimlich maneuver (though this means no one can eat or drink)
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Barry’s shadow twists and flops its head in front of everyone
REACTION: (Fight) Adam confronts Barry, thinking he’s deliberately harming everyone
MIDPOINT — THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT
Full pursuit by the killer: accidents occur in rapid succession
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) Barry sees the wryneck, which is chirping in a way that sounds like laughing
REACTION: (Fight) Barry attacks the bird and kills it, only to find it has teleported elsewhere and is still laughing at him
HORROR SITUATION: (Isolated/Danger) Barry is keeping his distance from everyone, communicating via phone when June is put in mortal danger
REACTION: (Fight) Barry comes to his daughter’s rescueHORROR SITUATION: (Spooky) These misfortunes happen despite Barry being out of proximity.
REACTION: (Solve It) characters must rethink the rules of the dilemma
HORROR SITUATION: (Spooky/Isolated) the power in the building goes out
REACTION: (Solve It) group searches for means of lighting the hallways, including computers and phones
Terrorized: the range of the Jinx’s influence expands and the accidents become more intense
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) rain water leaks onto the heater in a room; the sparks ignite a bed sheet and a fire breaks out
REACTION: (Fight) grab the fire extinguisher; create bucket brigade
CHARACTER DEATH: Tulip trips and is impaled in the throat on a glass lamp that shattered during the fire
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) at a crucial moment, a character suffers an overdose from an earlier intake of drugs (cocaine?) laced with fentanyl.
REACTION: (Solve It) someone runs to get the naxolone from the druggie’s room
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) the naxolone has fallen beneath the druggie’s bed
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone scours the room until it is found
HORROR SITUATION: (Torture) person trips while rushing it to druggie and it slides toward open elevator
REACTION: (Solve It) someone grabs it just before it goes over the lip
CHARACTER DEATH: Druggie dies just as person arrives with the naxolone
HORROR SITUATION: (Paranoia) Adam retrieves Kay’s gun and tries to shoot Barry
REACTION: (Escape/Fight) some try to stop him while Barry tries to escape; accidents prevent Adam from succeeding and even cripple himHORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Barry witnesses his reflection completely turn into the Jinx
REACTION: (Fight) Barry confronts the creature and learns about its motives and power
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: an earthquake hits and the building starts to collapse
HORROR SITUATION: an earthquake strikes and the structure of the building is compromised
REACTION: (Escape) everyone tries to avoid the destruction
HORROR SITUATION: (Trapped) a portion of the ceiling caves in, preventing Barry from getting as far away from the others as he can
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone else moves to the furthest room in the building
CHARACTER DEATH: the floor collapses beneath someone’s feet and they fall to their death
Hysteria: Eve goes into labor; Barry locks himself in a room and attempts to kill himself, though the Jinx prevents him and Barry ends up on the floor with a sprained back, unable to move
HORROR SITUATION: (Tormented) Eve goes into labor
REACTION: (Escape) Eve escapes from the building via police ladder
The thrilling escape from death: firefighters arrive to rescue the survivors via ladder; but there is no window in the room furthest from Barry, and so they must venture into the field of danger to be rescued.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) survivors must get around the collapse in the floor to get to the fire ladder, including Eve who is in labor
REACTION: (Solve It) they retrieve a shower rod; June makes it across, then uses the rod to pull people to safety as they jump
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) The floor gives out beneath Eve and she falls through the floor; June is nearly pulled down with her
REACTION: (Solve It) the others help pull June and Eve up
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) it is raining when the survivors attempt to climb down the ladder, causing multiple slip and falls
REACTION: (Solve It) everyone moves cautiously, the firefighters and fellow survivors helping one another
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) lightning strikes a power line and the cable swings toward the ladder
REACTION: (Escape) characters leap from the ladder or otherwise try to avoid the swinging wire.
Death returns to take one or more: June returns to save her father, thinking she can’t die so long as she’s with him. But the Jinx manages to separate them.
HORROR SITUATION: (Pursued) as June and Barry attempt to escape, the building begins to collapse
REACTION: (Escape) they tie off a bed sheet to hand railing and climb down stairwell, escaping the building just as it collapses
Resolution: Once
they make it outside, a flying piece of debris(?) comes flying at June. Barry
throws himself in front of the debris at the last second, sacrificing himself
for his daughter and defeating the Jinx. -
MICAH’S HORROR PLOT
What I learned doing this assignment is sometimes you gotta hate-fuck your way through the beats or else you’ll never get anything done.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: Kay tells an amusing story as part of his standup that involves someone dying in a gruesome freak accident (we see this play out).
Connect with the characters: Barry arrives at the hotel to get his daughter; other guests come out to see what’s going on
The characters are warned not to do it: some people near to Barry are injured
Denial of Horror: Barry dismisses all the strange occurrences as freak accidents
Safety taken away: Garret’s pacemaker fails and he has a heart attack
Monster: The nature of the beast: a series of accidents prevent the characters from being able to leave
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The elevator is broken and the stairs collapse
One of us killed: a freak accident kills Tulip
MIDPOINT — THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT
Full pursuit by the killer: accidents occur in rapid succession; Barry sees the Jinx in the mirror and realizes he’s the cause of it all
Terrorized: the range of the Jinx’s influence expands and the accidents become more intense
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: an earthquake hits and the building starts to collapse
Hysteria: Eve goes into labor; Barry locks himself in a room and attempts to kill himself
The thrilling escape from death: firefighters arrive to rescue the survivors via ladder; but there is no window in the room furthest from Barry, and so they must venture into the field of danger to be rescued.
Death returns to take one or more: June returns to save her father, thinking she can’t die so long as she’s with him. But the Jinx manages to separate them.
Resolution: Once
they make it outside, a flying piece of debris(?) comes flying at June. Barry
throws himself in front of the debris at the last second, sacrificing himself
for his daughter and defeating the Jinx. -
MICAH’S CHARACTERS FOR HORROR
What I learned doing this assignment is that staying true to the concept is a good way to start coming up with characters.
CONCEPT: a man is possessed by a spirit that causes grave misfortune to all those around him.
GROUP: Stranger – the guests on one floor of a hotel
DYING PATTERN: A) Put 6 to 8 characters together and kill them off one by one.
CHARACTERS:
The Carrier: Barry Long bears the curse that kills all those around him
Innocent: Eve, a pregnant woman
Aggressor: Adam, the pregnant woman’s husband
Comic Relief: Kay, a suicidal comedian
Lovers: Barry’s daughter June and her boyfriend Ned
Red Shirt: a man whose pacemaker malfunctions
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MICAH’S TERRIFYING MONSTER
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of establishing the basic foundations of the monster before getting overly elaborate with its personality, specific scenes, etc.
Monster: The Jinx, an ancient spirit of misfortune
Terror: the Jinx causing increasing harm to those around Barry by way of accidents and misfortunes. They nature of these misfortunes includes ways of preventing the unlucky victims a means of escaping proximity to Barry. The Jinx’s range of influence increases throughout the film. Its frightful form appears in reflections and in Barry’s shadow. Finally, it causes further accidents to prevent Barry from taking his own life and stopping the horror.
Mystery: the nature of the Jinx is unknown at first as it only manifests as accidents that happen around Barry. The characters must learn how to drive the Jinx away, even if that means killing Barry.
Fear-Provoking Appearance: The Jinx has two appearances. One is of a wryneck bird that appears at various moments, twisting its neck grotesquely. The other is in a human form, as Barry’s shadow or as his reflection in the mirror. It also twists its head and neck freakishly like a wryneck bird, and as the film goes on, the skin, eyes, and face of Barry’s reflection becomes more demonic.
Rules: the Jinx inhabits an individual and wreaks havoc by creating a field of misfortune around that person that gradually grows in scope. The misfortunes soon escalate to fatal. It uses the same misfortunes to prevent the host from ending their own life, even if it involves violent incapacitation.
Mythology: the Jinx is an ancient spirit of misfortune that
takes sadistic glee in killing people through unlucky accidents. -
Wuttup, y’all? My name is Micah Delhauer. I’ve written dozens of scripts, a few of which are actually good. Horror is my jam, and I’m hoping this class helps me to better write more focused and commercial stories. I’m currently filming my first feature film (a horror movie, naturally). It’s been in production for the past two years thanks to a certain virus you probably never heard of.
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DRAG ME TO HELL HORROR CONVENTIONS
Concept: a woman tries to undo a curse that will result in her being dragged to Hell at the end of three days
Terrorize The Characters: Christine must endure three days of mental torment and physical anguish before a demon finally comes to drag her to Hell
Isolation: some scenes take place in isolated locations, such as the mansion where the exorcism is attempted, or the cemetery where Christine digs up the gypsy woman’s body. Additionally, she is isolated from all those around her in that her torments can only be seen and experienced by her, preventing others, including her boyfriend, from understanding or believing her plight.
Death: if Christine can’t find a way of lifting the curse within three days, she will be killed and taken to Hell.
Monster/Villain: the gypsy woman Sylvia inflicts the curse on Christine as punishment for not granting her a loan extension. Lamia the demon torments Christine for three days before taking her soul.
High Tension: every method Christine tries to lift the curse is thwarted. The danger of these attempts, both physical and emotional, escalates throughout the film. The curse continually interrupts Christine’s personal and professional life, taking away everything that is important to her.
Departure from Reality: this is a dark fantasy, involving gypsy curses and demons from Hell. The tone is very tongue in cheek, the demonic visitations wild and extravagant.
Moral Statement: Christine is cursed because she chooses not to extend the gypsy Sylvia’s bank loan, a decision she makes in hopes of impressing her boss and landing a major promotion.
The constant shifting between the supernatural torment and Christine’s normal life dilemmas, which increasingly compound one another, help make this movie as strong as it is, as do the ethical dilemmas Christine is put in. The varying methods Christine tries to lift the curse are increasingly risky, though the risk alternates between being physical, emotional, and moral. Finally, the film is merciless toward its characters and audience as the demon hungers for Christine’s soul.
UNLUCKY (MY MOVIE)
CONCEPT:
The Monster/Villain: a murderous curse that inflicts everyone near Barry
The Interesting Terror: grave misfortune befalls anyone within proximity to the cursed Barry
Isolated/Horrific Environment: a high hotel floor where people become trapped with Barry
People Who Will Be Terrorized: Barry and the hotel guests trapped with him, including his daughter
CONVENTIONS:
Concept: a man is cursed so that everyone around him suffers increasingly deadly misfortune
Terrorize The Characters: Barry Long is helpless to prevent those around him from being injured or killed. The people near Barry suffer one horrible misfortune after another.
Isolation: Barry and the others are trapped on a high floor (top floor?) of a hotel, unable to escape as the range of the curse’s affect increases.
Death: as the curse grows stronger, the misfortunes suffered by the people around Barry become fatal.
Monster/Villain: the jinx causes everyone around Barry to suffer grave misfortune, including being trapped in close proximity to Barry.
High Tension: As time goes on, the severity of the misfortunes people suffer becomes deadlier. The range of the curse’s affect grows, making it harder for people to get away from Barry. Finally, the jinx prevents Barry from being able to commit suicide.
Departure from Reality: there’s a curse, sucka.
Moral Statement: Barry is a privileged man who doesn’t see how people around him suffer; he is therefore cursed to be the literal cause of everyone’s deadly misfortune, including innocent people such as a pregnant woman and his daughter.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that, by forcing myself to make a moral statement, it becomes easier to find a story theme and a flaw for my protagonist.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by Micah Delhauer.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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Micah Delhauer
I agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hey everybody. I’ve got a dark comedy outline ready for some feedback. Hit me up if you’d like to do an exchange.
–Micah
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MICAH’S OUTLINE
What I learned doing this assignment is how much going through all these steps forces you to keep reviewing your outline over and over, thus allowing you to constantly find new ideas and solutions.
TITLE: Starbright
GENRE: Dark Comedy
LOGLINE: A prostitute’s client has just dropped dead in her home, and she must get rid of the body before her husband gets home.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
A prostitute named Selena is entertaining a high profile client in a velvety bedroom. They are both snorting cocaine. During the roughhousing, Selena cuts her finger and the client becomes nauseous from the sight of blood. Selena heads into the bathroom.
INT. BATHROOM
Selena eyes her hidden wedding ring sitting on the counter. She can’t bring herself to to cheat on her husband (who is out of town until tomorrow night). Selena calls her pimp, Morg, and says she can’t go through with it. But she is in debt to Morg, and he assures her this will be her last client. She relents.
Selena hears the client scream outside the bathroom.
INT. LIVING ROOM
What appeared upstairs to be a fancy brothel is actually Selena and her husband’s summer cabin. The intoxicated client has tripped down the stairs and struck his head, lying in a pool of blood.
INT. BEDROOM
Selena rushes to get her phone. She’s so high it takes her a moment to remember to call the police.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Selena is put on hold. While she waits, she checks for vital signs and finds none. She suddenly becomes worried about both the police and her husband finding out about her hooking, and when the police answer she claims to merely have seen a bear on the freeway.
Selena calls a friend who is a nurse and tries to resuscitate the client, to no avail.
Selena gets a call from her husband Richard, who is coming home a night early. She has to get rid of the body NOW. Selena tells Richard she’s feeling sick and asks if he’ll stop to pick up some soup for her, which he agrees to do.
Selena calls her friend back for help. Her friend suggests Selena find herself an alibi, but otherwise can’t get involved any further and hangs up.
INT. BEDROOM
Selena strips away all her brothel-y shit and paints the scene to make it appear as if a burglar had gone through the room. She practices her story for the police as she goes.
Selena suddenly suffers a cocaine crash and can barely move.
Morg calls asking about the client and wanting to know if he’s paid yet. Selena pretends she’s still entertaining the client. Morg sounds suspicious but takes Selena at her word.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Slugging from the cocaine crash, Selena tries to dress the nearly-nude client and becomes trapped under the body. While there, she gets a phone call from Richard, who has gotten her soup. While their talking, someone comes knocking on the door.
Selena asks Richard to pick her up a special ice cream that is only available at a certain store. Again, he agrees. Selena then wriggles her way free and answers the door. Dylan, a neighbor from another cabin down the road, asks about an unknown car (the client’s) parked some ways from the house. Selena claims to know nothing about it.
She gets the idea to claim she’s heard someone prowling around outside, planting the idea that there’s an intruder nearby. The talkative neighbor offers to stay with Selena so she feels safe, but she eventually convinces him to go back home to make sure that his wife is okay.
Alone again, Selena places a fire poker in the client’s hand to make it look like he attacked her, then maces him. He wakes up! Selena goes to call him an ambulance.
But seeing his own blood, the client freaks, believing that Selena tried to kill him. He goes into a frenzy and attacks Selena, who is forced to defend herself. They fight over the fire poker and the client is killed. Now the client is truly dead, and Selena is culpable for his death. Selena screams and collapses.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Selena lies next to the corpse and reminisces about meeting Richard for the first time, reflecting how he’s always treated her as an equal partner and re-affirming how much she loves him.
Richard calls again and says the store is out of the ice cream. She insists that it’s important and begs him to go to another store. Richard asks if her sickness and cravings mean that she’s pregnant. Reluctantly, Selena lies and says that she is. He agrees to go to another store for her.
Selena is determined to solve this problem and save her marriage. She looks up online how to dispose of a body.
INT. BEDROOM
Selena snorts up some cocaine to cure her lethargy.
INT. LIVING ROOM
She rolls up the body up in a carpet.
EXT. CABIN – NIGHT
Selena loads the body into her car, starts the engine, and immediately crashes into a nearby tree (‘cause she’s high).
Morg calls, demanding to talk to the client. Selena confesses that he’s dead. Morg hangs up the phone—he’s on his way!
Selena looks up other ways to get rid of a body and finds instructions for dismembering a corpse.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Selena drags the corpse back in and gets carving utensils from the kitchen. But she can’t bring herself to perform the nauseating task, and chooses instead to bury the body whole. She’s need to find a shovel.
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S CABIN – NIGHT
Selena sneaks into the neighbors’ shed to steal a shovel. Dylan hears her and come to investigate. Selena manages to elude him and escape with the tool.
INT. WOODS – NIGHT
While digging a grave for the body, Selena hears someone in the woods around her. It’s Dylan. How does she explain what she’s doing? She says she’s “dig-zercising,” which is all the rage with the kids and celebrities. Dylan finds this weird, but ultimately believes her. While he’s yattering on, Selena gets a phone call and is able to pull away from the conversation.
It’s Richard on the phone. He’s gotten the ice cream and is on his way home. Selena rushes back to the cabin.
EXT. CABIN – NIGHT
There’s a strange car parked outside the cabin and the front door is open.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Selena finds Morg inside, taking in the scene.
Morg assures Selena he can get everything taken care of. But in exchange Selena will have to continue to hook for him, as well as pay him additional hush money.
This is it. Defiantly, Selena calls Richard, getting his voicemail. She leaves him a message confessing everything, freeing her from Morg’s blackmail.
Selena attempts to call the police. A chase ensues. She and Morg fight over the phone, Selena trying to dial the police the whole time. Eventually, Morg gets the phone and destroys it.
There’s a knock at the door. It’s Dylan yet again. Morg reveals a gun and tells Selena to get rid of Dylan or he will kill him.
EXT. CABIN – NIGHT
Selena answers the door. Dylan reveals that he is in love with Selena, misconstruing all her odd behavior throughout the night as discreet efforts to show her affection for him.
Selena kisses Dylan and surreptitiously retrieves his phone. They fall to the ground and while they’re making out she dials 911. When the police answer, she’s quietly gives them her address and says there’s been a murder. But Morg catches wise and smashes the phone. Dylan gets shot (non-fatally).
Enraged, Morg tries to kill Selena. They struggle over the gun, and while Selena can’t get it out of his hand, she’s able to eject the magazine and retreat back into the cabin.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Selena begins to crash again from the cocaine as she rushes to lock the doors and windows. Morg attempts to break in from several locations.
The police are heard approaching. Morg breaks inside.
Selena grabs her mace and rushes up the stairs. Just as Morg gets to her, she maces him and he falls down the stairs to his death.
The police arrive and Selena tells them that Morg killed the client, and that she in turn killed Morg in self-defense.
EXT. CABIN – NIGHT
Richard arrives home, having not yet listened to the voicemail. Selena deletes it and they embrace. Richard asks her if they should start thinking of baby names. “Let’s wait,” she answers.
Problems to Solve:
Looking over all this again, I think I’ve written something that’s maybe an hour long. Need to find ways of extending the story.
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MICAH’S BUDGET
What I learned doing this assignment is to be mindful of all the little things that drive the budget up, and also how much fun it is to make things more expensive.
MAIN VARIABLES
• Number of Locations – 3 (two identical cabins, woods) / omit scenes involving neighbors’ cabin; omit body burying scene in the woods / add a lake; add more neighbors
• Expensive locations – none / N/A / turn cabins into fancy lodges, or set everything on an exclusive retreat or club property
• Number of characters – 3 major, 2 minor / cut scenes showing cop / give pimp a bodyguard; add more interfering neighbors; add another client that shows up later
• Special effects – car crashing into tree, gore effects / keep off screen / have car accidentally roll off a steep hill; make shoot-out with pimp more elaborate; make cabin explode at the end
• Number of pages – ?
• Crowd scenes – none / N/A / add police, paramedics, and nosy neighbors to the ending
• Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – scuffles, minor car crash, stairs fall / keep car crash and fall off screen
• Special sets – none / N/A /
SECONDARY VARIABLES
• Rights to music, brands, books, etc. – None / N/A / specify music for striptease; have Selena dress as a trademark character
• Explosions and Firearm – minimum gunplay / change gun to knife / more gunplay and squibs; blow up or burn down cabin
• Kids – None / N/A / give neighbor a kid
• Animals – None / N/A / give neighbor a dog; add wolf, bear, or other wild animal to woods scenes
• Weather – None / N/A / add increasing rainstorm
• Water and underwater scenes – None / N/A / add a river or lake to try and dispose of body
• Night scenes – all night / minimize number of exterior scenes, cut grave digging scene / create new obstacles that force Jennifer to go outside
• Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – None / N/A / encourage DP/Director to go crazy
• Green screen work – None / N/A / blow up cabin at the end; have car go over cliff with Selena dangling off the ledge
• Extensive Make-up – gore makeup on dead client / make less gorey / make more gorey
• Archival Footage – None / N/A / have something playing on a TV during striptease; Selena watches TV to calm herself, maybe has a favorite movie or actors she looks to for inspiration
• Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance. – None / N/A / get really coked out before going to set
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MICAH WRITES GREAT HOPE/FEAR!
What I learned doing this assignment is that looking for the constant hope/fear ping-pong is an amazing why to find all the mini-adventures between the major plot points.
Act 1:
OPENING: Selena is entertaining a high profile client in her and her husband’s summer cabin. She calls her pimp and tells him she can’t go through with it, but he tells her this is her last job.
Hope: Selena doesn’t want to cheat on her husband.
Personal Compromise: Pimp convinces her to do it one last time.
INCITING INCIDENT: Selena’s client, high on cocaine, trips down the stairs and plunges to his death.
Hope: Client falls down the stairs.
Emergency: He’s been seriously injured.
Hope: Selena calls the police.
Danger: Client might be dead; if the police show up, Richard will found out about her hooking.
Hope: Selena contacts a friend who is also a nurse and together they try to resuscitate the client.
Worst Case Scenario: He’s dead.
Hope: Selena starts to clean up the house to make everything look normal.
Inhibited: Selena suffers a cocaine crash and can barely move.
TURNING POINT: Selena gets a call from her husband Richard, who is coming home a night early. She has to get rid of the body NOW.
Hope: Selena tells Richard she’s feeling sick and asks if he’ll stop to pick something up for her.
Act 2:
Hope: Selena calls friend for help.
Loss: Friend suggests Selena find herself an alibi, but otherwise can’t get involved any further and hangs up.
Hope: Selena cleans up house, talking out her story for the police as she goes.
Pressure: Pimp calls asking about the client and wanting to know if he’s paid yet. Selena has to pretend she’s still entertaining the client.
Complication: The client is naked, which means he couldn’t be an intruder.
Hope: Selena redresses client.
Danger: She becomes trapped under the body. While there, she gets a phone call from Richard. While on the phone with him, a neighbor comes knocking on the door.
New Complication: Selena convinces Richard to pick something else up for her, then makes it to the door. The neighbor asks about the client’s car parked some ways from the house, which he doesn’t recognize.
Hope: Selena has the idea to claim she’s heard someone prowling around outside, planting the idea that there’s an intruder nearby.
Matters Worse: The talkative neighbor offers to stay with Selena so she doesn’t feel safe. She eventually convinces him to go back home to make sure that his wife is okay.
Hope: Selena plans to mace the client so it looks like she defended herself when he attacked her, then call the police.
Quick Scare: When she maces him, he wakes up!
Hope: The client is alive! Selena is going to call him an ambulance.
Worse Than Before: Seeing his own blood, the client believes that Selena has tried to kill him. He goes into a frenzy and attacks her, and Selena is forced to defend herself, killing him in the process.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Now the client is truly dead, and Selena is culpable for his death.
Act 3:
RETHINK EVERYTHING: Now that she has murdered the man, Selena can no longer get the police involved.
NEW PLAN: Dispose of the body.
Pressure: Richard calls again and says he can’t find [the thing Selena asked for]. She insists that it’s important.
Hope: Richard asks her if her sickness and cravings mean that she’s pregnant. She lies and says that she is. He agrees to get what she’s asking for.
Hope: Selena snorts up some cocaine for courage and loads the body up into her car.
Thwarted: She immediately crashes the car (‘cause she’s high, you see).
More Pressure: The pimp calls, demanding to talk to the client. Selena confesses that he’s dead. Pimp hangs up the phone—he’s on his way!
Hope: Selena goes to the neighbors’ to steal a shovel.
Tension: The neighbors hear Selena and come to investigate.
Hope: Selena manages to escape and starts digging a grave.
Threat: She hears someone in the woods around her. It’s the neighbor. How does she explain what she’s doing?
Hope: She tells him she’s “dig-xercising.” He buys it. She gets a phone call and is able to pull away from the conversation.
Ticking Clock: It’s Richard on the phone. He got what she asked for and is on his way home.
TURNING POINT: The pimp arrives at Selena’s home.
Act 4:
Hope: Pimp says he’s dealt with this kind of thing before and he can get the body taken care of.
Threat: Pimp blackmails Selena. He wants money, and he wants her to keep hooking for him.
Hope: Selena calls Richard and leaves a voicemail confessing to everything that’s happened, freeing her from the blackmail of the pimp. Then she tries calling the police.
Fight: The Pimp chases Selena. They fight for the phone, she trying to dial the police the whole time. Eventually, he manages to get her phone and destroy it.
Hope: Neighbor shows back up again.
Threat: Pimp tells Selena to get rid of him or he will kill him. When she answers the door, neighbor confesses that he’s in love with Selena.
Hope: Selena kisses neighbor, and surreptitiously retrieves his phone. They fall to the ground and she calls the police while they’re making out. She’s able to give the police her address.
Threat: Pimp catches wise and smashes the phone. Neighbor gets shot (non-fatally).
Greater Threat: Enraged, the Pimp tries to kill Selena.
Hope: Selena disarms Pimp and locks herself in the house.
Inhibited: Once again, Selena begins to crash from the cocaine.
Hope: Police are heard approaching.
Danger: Pimp breaks inside.
CLIMAX: Selena grabs her mace and rushes up the stairs. Just as the Pimp gets to her, she maces him and he falls down the stairs to his death.
RESOLUTION: The police arrive and Selena tells them that the pimp killed the client, and that she in turn killed the pimp in self-defense. Richard arrives home, having not heard the voicemail, and Selena deletes it.
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MICAH’S 4 ACT STRUCTURE
What I learned doing this assignment is to continue to revisit structure and adhere to the major beats while always focusing on the main conflict, forcing myself to find the key points and keep the story on track.
Concept: a prostitute’s client has just died, and she needs to get rid of the body before her husband (who doesn’t know about her side job) gets home
Main Conflict: Richard is coming home early and Jennifer has to get rid of the body and the evidence before he arrives, AND before her pimp finds out what happened
Act 1:
Opening: Jennifer is entertaining a high profile client in her and her husband’s summer cabin. She calls her pimp and tells him she can’t go through with it, but he tells her this is her last job.
Inciting Incident: Jennifer’s client, high on cocaine, trips down the stairs and plunges to his death.
Turning Point: Jennifer gets a call from her husband Richard, who is coming home a night early. She has to get rid of the body NOW.
Act 2:
New Plan: Come up with an alibi.
Plan in Action: Jennifer cleans up the house, then plants the idea with a neighbor that someone’s been prowling around. She is going to paint the scene as though she returned home and found a burglar dead in the house.
Midpoint Turning Point: the client wakes up—he’s alive! But seeing the blood, he freaks out and attacks Jennifer. While defending herself, Jennifer kills the man for real.
Act 3:
Rethink Everything: Now that she has murdered the man, Jennifer can no longer get the police involved.
New Plan: Dispose of the body. Jennifer has to steal supplies from a neighboring cabin and then dig a hole for the body. While doing so, she is harassed by the nosy neighbor.
Turning Point: The pimp arrives at Jennifer’s home.
Act 4:
Final Plan: Jennifer confesses to her husband in a voicemail, freeing her from the blackmail of the pimp.
Climax: Jennifer tries to call the police to turn herself in, but the pimp won’t let her. A fight breaks out between the two, and the pimp ends up being killed.
Resolution: The police arrive and Jennifer tells them that the pimp killed the client, and that she in turn killed the pimp in self-defense. Richard arrives home, having not heard the voicemail, and Jennifer deletes it.
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MICAH’S DELIVERING MULTIPLE LAYERS!
What I learned doing this assignment is that each exercise is worth doing even if you only get one new idea out of it.
Surface Layer: Jennifer is a high class prostitute
Beneath That: Jennifer is a married woman
Beneath That: Jennifer is keeping her job and past secret from her husband.
How Revealed: First, Jennifer eyes her wedding ring while she’s in the bathroom, unable to bring herself to sleep with her client; then, while Jennifer is scrambling to dispose of her client’s body, she gets a call from her husband who says he’s coming home early.
Surface Layer: an opulent bedroom in a brothelBeneath That: actually the bedroom in Jennifer and Richard’s summer cabin
How Revealed: Once she learns her husband is on his way home, Jennifer quickly strips down cabin, revealing a rustic summer home with pictures of herself and Richard everywhere.
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MICAH’S CHARACTER JOURNEYS!
What I learned doing this assignment is how to clearly define the beats in the character’s journey and therefore how to separate and arrange major beats in the movie.
JENNIFER
BEGINNING: She is a prostitute who keeps her profession secret from her husband, Richard. She wants to quit the business, but accepts one last job from her pimp so she can pay off debt.TURNING POINT: Her client is accidentally killed and Richard is on her way home. She has to find a way to dispose of the body as well as keep it a secret from her pimp.
MIDPOINT: She discovers that her client was actually just knocked out, but in an ensuing scuffle she kills him for real. Now she’s guilty of murder.
TURNING POINT 2: Her pimp arrives and blackmails her: he’ll get rid of the body if she continues to hook for him, as well as provide him additional money.
DILEMMA: Does she remain enslaved to Pimp or does she let Richard find out who she really is?
3RD ACT CLIMAX: She reveals her secret to Richard via voicemail, freeing herself from Pimp. Enraged, he calls the police on Jennifer.
ENDING: A fight breaks out between Jennifer and Pimp and he is killed. The police come and she convinces them that the pimp attacked her and her client. Richard arrives home, having not listened to the voicemail, and Jennifer deletes it.
PIMP (Walter? Vinnie?)
BEGINNING: He has conned Jennifer into doing one last job, offering her a large payout and to leave her and her husband alone forever.
TURNING POINT: Calling to check in, he senses something is wrong and becomes suspicious of Jennifer.
MIDPOINT: Jennifer confesses to him that the client is dead. He immediately hangs up and drives to her cabin.
TURNING POINT 2: He offers to clean up the mess, but demands money and that Jennifer continue to hook for him.
3RD ACT CLIMAX: Incensed that Jennifer has confessed to her husband, he calls the police on her.
ENDING: A scuffle ensues and he is killed, later being blamed for the murder of the client.
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MICAH’S GREAT CHARACTER DEPTH!
What I learned doing this assignment is the value of breaking down the characters in a way that inevitably leads to more interesting conflict and relationships, as well as reveals a slew of new story possibilities.
JENNIFER (wife)
Motivation: Protect her marriage
Secret: She is a prostitute (whose client has just been accidentally killed)
Layers: Never met a man who didn’t just want to use her sexually
Conflict: Fears Pimp will reveal her secret to her husband
Hidden Agenda: dispose of dead body
Dilemma: pay Pimp / continue to hook, or reveal her secret to her husbandPIMP
Motivation: Greed
Subtext: Promises this will be Jennifer’s last job, but never intends to let her go
Conflict: threatens to reveal Jennifer’s secret unless she obeys him
Hidden Agenda: Blackmail JenniferNEIGHBOR
Secret: in love with Jennifer
Conflict: Keeps nosing in on Jennifer’s business, keeping her from disposing of the body
Hidden Agenda: sleep with Jennifer-
This reply was modified 4 years ago by Micah Delhauer.
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by
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MICAH’S RIGHT CHARACTERS!
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of Rolodexing through each character to make sure they’re the most fitted to the story/conflict/hook.
Characters: Cheating Wife, Pimp, Neighbor, Husband
Why are they perfect for the hook?
Wife
Deeply in love with her husband, unwilling to let the marriage fail
Highly emotional, easily flustered
High, and therefore disadvantaged in all of her effortsPimp
Greedy; will exploit the situation to the best of his abilities
Experienced in criminal dealings
Ruthless and unafraid to ruin Wife’s marriage
Unhinged; could escalate to violenceNeighbor
Nosy as hell, constantly asking questions
Eager to help (possibly lonely), tries to force himself into Wife’s business
Talks forever; doesn’t know how to take a hintHusband
The absolute perfect husband; it would be a shame to lose him
Loves wife so much; it would break his heart to find her cheating
Trusts wife implicitly; it would be terrible to betray that trust -
MICAH’S GREAT HOOK!
Intriguing Contained Setting:
Inside a giant mech
House boat
50s diner during an atomic monster attack
Porn set
Halloween haunt attraction
WWII London shelter during a blitz
911 call center
Cult compoundUnique Device:
Murder mystery in some kind of crisis shelter
Unable to get a dying person to a hospital
Solve corporate controversy before stocks plummet
Deal with a crisis while committing a crimeUnique Monster/Villain:
A super-hacker who can observe you from anywhere
A drunken/tripping/mentally-altered best friend
A guilty conscience made manifest
A terrorist with a fictional religious ideology (e.g. Harry Potter)
A boss the protagonist has cuckolded (or a judge, or an investigator, etc)
Spouse during custody battle
Cops pursuing criminal family memberMystery:
Where did this un-IDed space satellite/shuttle come from?
How did I get pregnant when I haven’t had sex?
How did I give birth to this baby of the wrong ethnicity without cheating?
Who is sending me threatening letters?Impossible Goal/Unsolvable Problem:
Come up with a cure/antidote while dying
Handle crisis over the phone
Navigate a major crisis while drunk/high/otherwise impaired
Convinced a loved one of the danger of their beliefsUnique Layers:
Someone in the protagonist group is secretly the cause of the crisis (e.g. murder mystery)
A friend or loved in is secretly seeking revenge against the protagonist (e.g. Othello)
An ally is secretly sabotaging the protagonist
The main location turns out to be cursed
An amnesiac is actually the villainThe High Concept Question:
HORROR
an un-ironic musical
a saint or religious figure as the villain
the villain’s perspectiveTHE LEADER
a coward
multiple personality disorder
a transsexualHAUNTED HOUSE
aliens
ghosts protecting the inhabitants
ghosts afraid of the living people
actually a reality TV showSCIENCE FICTION
a genuine utopian society
our world being the bad one
time traveling tourists
earth must be destroyed to save the universeExchanging Components:
Cheating wife must get rid of dead gigolo’s body before husband gets home.
Cheating Wife
Nun
Superhero
The President
Priest
Mother
AngelGet Rid of Body
Get rid of drugs
Fix an error in time
Hide/Destroy monstrous creation
Have lover’s baby (who is of a different ethnicity)Gigolo
Lover
President
JesusHusband Gets Home
Kids get home
Press arrives
Police arrive
Jesus arrivesThis process worked great; I actually came up with a whole new concept that I feel was better than any of my pre-class ideas. This assignment taught me the power of free-form brainstorming, and how to turn simple prompts into many different viable ideas.
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MICAH’S GUIDELINES FOR BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA
Selecting project: separating the practical from the impractical ideas was pretty quick and easy using the guidelines set forth in the lesson. I may change my choice, but for now I think it’s pretty clear.
TITLE: BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA
AS THEY DID IT:
A. People – Dracula, Jonathon, Mina, Lucy, Van Helsing, Lucy’s three suitors, Dracula’s brides, various bit parts
B. Stunts – horse riding and falling
C. Extras – many townspeople, Londoners, gypsies, sailors, asylum inmates, etc.
D. Wardrobe – elaborate 18<sup>th</sup> century costumes, including formalwear and extravagant dresses
E. Hair and Make Up – monster prosthetics, vampire teeth, corpse makeup, wigs and period hair.
F. Kids and Animals – one infant, one child, multiple dogs, rats, horses
G. Quarantine – large cast and crew, many extras for various sequences in multiple locations
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People – combine suitors into one character, combine brides into one character, minimize and combine bit parts
B. Stunts – imply all horse riding but keep off camera; eliminate falls
C. Extras – eliminate all scenes in crowds, imply additional people with audio
D. Wardrobe – simplify formalwear, change fancy gowns into simple but elegant dresses
E. Hair and Make Up – remove monster prosthetics
F. Kids and Animals – imply infant off screen, remove child, remove dogs and rats, use stock footage and mockups for horses
G. Quarantine – no need for extras; reduced cast and day-players as well as locations due to lack of crowd scenes; no need for animal handlers or child guardians/tutors; simplify wardrobe to avoid need for costumer; minimize specialized and lengthy makeup appliances and omit prosthetic appliances
What I learned from doing this assignment is how many seemingly small components quickly call for more people on set.
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A group of strangers including a gay couple trapped in a hotel together? No one will ever watch it! 😉
I like this setup a lot. Love creepy Krampus, his side kick Nicholas who ends up getting replaced in the end. I love snowbound settings. Love the characters being forced to kill one another, and the terror of the gift exchange.
I don’t follow the rules of the gift exchange, though. Krampus seems perfectly happy killing people on his own, so why make the others do it? What compels them to go through with it? Why is there an hour between killings?
Might I suggest a tweaking to the process: instead of Krampus choosing the victim, the victim’s name is drawn out of a hat. This will create more suspense. The killer is given an hour to commit the murder or else they die by supernatural means; perhaps they suffer a heart attack of their skin melts off or something. This creates a moral dilemma on both sides; by evading death, the intended victim condemns their would-be killer to death. During that hour, some people might chase their victim throughout the lodge. Others might spend that time talking to their victims, the two trying to come to an understanding—divulge their sins, try and decide whose is worse. Another might refuse to act while someone they love tries to motivate them to commit the murder. That kind of stuff. Keep the guests doing the killing and not Krampus; otherwise the gift exchange seems to lose meaning, and we lose a lot of juicy human drama (what if Ava has to kill one of her parents? or visa-versa?). It should be explained early on that one winner will get to live (though they might not necessarily know that the winner becomes Krampus’s assistant).
The secret sins for which there needs to be retribution seems imbalanced; a child molester, a woman stealing from the till, a man who doesn’t truly love his husband… some of these sins seem negligible. Ava especially, a grumpy teen who curses Christmas, seems like an odd choice to be the one who accidentally summoned Krampus. It might go better if you have a gathering of individuals with darker secrets, “And Then There Were None”-style.
Why does an arrow kill Nicholas but not bullets? Why set up Krampus’s weakness and not pay it off?
Krampus’s powers are a bit unclear. If he can do magic and control fire and such, why does he need a crossbow to kill someone, or to have Michael drive a snow groomer? You might consider removing the supernatural element altogether. Krampus could just be a sadistic person who’s brought all these guilty people together, again Agatha Christie-style. That might seem like a radical suggestion, and I’m not saying you should do it, just that you might.
Ava seems to be set up as the protagonist, but we lose her in the end. She doesn’t help save the day or grow as a character, and we don’t see what happens to her.
Again, I think this is a really cool premise, and I hope my suggestions are useful to you. Cheers!
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Thank you, Ed! Sound advice.
Would you like me to look over the outline you already have posted, or are you going to post a revision first?
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Thank you! It’s been an educational journey.
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That’s cool! I remember that game being really expensive. I played it once, died immediately, and walked away forever. And here we are together all these years later.
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Time Traveler?
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Hey, Hope! Absolutely. My email is micahdelhauer@gmail.com.