Michael Greco
Forum Replies Created
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Michael Greco’s Hero and Villain.
WILDTA is that exploring the main conflict in question / answer format drives concise decisionmaking and exploration of specific choices, which in turn provokes further ideas to advance the story.
1 – Initial Answers
Concept:
Hero
Morally Right: BALIN is loyal, patriotic and driven by a sense of justice.
Villain
Morally Wrong: VOLDOST is a Vengeful Henchman, Aspirating to be a Trusted
Enforcer or a Internationally Dominant Despot.Hero
A.
Unique Skill Set – multi-talented combatant: BALIN is a military-trained sharpshooter;
Muay Thai boxer, Judo expert; fully-trained combat soldier and dedicated
endurance athlete.
B.
Motivation – BALIN must stop VOLDOST, or else he will see VOLDOST waste
his family first, then plunder and subjugate his patriarch Azerbaijan.
C.
Secret or Wound – BALIN’s father had always insisted on non-violence, even
as he vigorously argued for Azerbaijani self-determination and territorial
integrity, control.Villain
A.
Unbeatable: VOLDOST is a ruthless, shrewd competitor; driven beyond
anyone’s expectations.
B.
Plan/Goal: VOLDOST endeavors to suppress all agitators, political
statesmen and freedom fighters which oppose him and his dominion of
Armenia.
C.
What they lose if Hero survives: BALIN’s survival is a direct threat to
VOLDOST, as VOLDOST ordered BALIN’s father killed. BALIN’s survival and
viability make it less likely that Armenia can exercise dominion of Azer.
and commandeer their territory.Impossible Mission
A.
Puts Hero in Action: Avenge killing of father and strike back at Armenian
despot. Take down VOLDOST; kill him if needed.
B.
Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: BALIN will need to call up all the
resources he has; VOLDOST is surrounded by lots of powerful people.
C.
Destroy the Villain: Take down VOLDOST; kill him if needed.2 Improved / Expanded Answers
Concept:
Hero
Morally Right: BALIN is loyal, patriotic and driven by a sense of justice.
BALIN’s devotion to family and country was constantly tested and
questioned by his father – BALIN would want him to be proud.
Villain
Morally Wrong: VOLDOST is a Vengeful Henchman, Aspiring to be a Trusted
Enforcer or a Internationally Dominant Despot. VOLDOST is connected to the
top leaders of Armenian government, and also to a major Armenian crime
family, which leads a thriving business in money laundering and
trafficking illegal narcotics.Hero
A.
Unique Skill Set – multi-talented combatant: BALIN is a military-trained
sharpshooter; Muay Thai boxer, Judo expert; fully-trained combat soldier
and dedicated endurance athlete. BALIN also plays classical guitar, and is
a competitive tennis player – he can move in classy western European circles.
B.
Motivation – BALIN must stop VOLDOST, or else he will see VOLDOST waste
his family first, then plunder and subjugate his patriarch Azerbaijan.
C.
Secret or Wound – BALIN’s father had always insisted on non-violence, even
as he vigorously argued for Azerbaijani self-determination and territorial
integrity, control. BALIN’s father
tried to make BALIN feel uncivilized for wanting to win physical fights,
and inferior in education and breeding.Villain
A.
Unbeatable: VOLDOST is a ruthless, shrewd competitor; driven beyond
anyone’s expectations. He regularly lures his victims to dine or drink
alcoholic beverages with him, and
laces their food and beverages with cyanide, morphine or strychnine.
VOLDOST also deploys a team of martial arts expert combatants to fight
battles for him.
B.
Plan/Goal: VOLDOST endeavors to suppress all agitators, political
statesmen and freedom fighters which oppose him and his dominion of
Armenia. VOLDOST takes pains to approach and threaten the freedom fighters’
families, primarily parents, spouses and children, with death or grievous
injury.
C.
What they lose if Hero survives: BALIN’s survival is a direct threat to
VOLDOST, as VOLDOST ordered BALIN’s father killed. BALIN’s survival and
viability make it less likely that Armenia can exercise dominion of Azer.
and commandeer their territory. BALIN’s survival will undermine VOLDOST’s
influence, and sow discord, distrust and rebellion among VOLDOST’s
henchmen and toadies, emboldening them to abandon him.Impossible Mission
A.
Puts Hero in Action: Avenge killing of father and strike back at Armenian
despot. Take down VOLDOST; kill him if needed. To get to VOLDOST, must
vanquish, bypass or elude VOLDOST’s vicious security detail and bodyguards.
B.
Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: BALIN will need to call up all the
resources he has; VOLDOST is surrounded by lots of powerful people.
VOLDOST barricades himself within fortresses and impressive, labyrinthine
bunkers, rarely exposing himself publicly to assailants and nemeses.
C.
Destroy the Villain: Take down VOLDOST; kill him if needed. Penetrate,
deceive and dismantle his security apparatus and protectors. -
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Michael Greco’s Conventions! Writing Killer Action Movies
[Accidentally omitted from preceding message]
CONCEPT: An Azerbaijani security consultant traveling in the USA to visit his dying father must battle and vanquish a brutal Armenian-American organized crime kingpin bent on vengeance following a devastating Azerbaijani attack on Armenian guerilla insurgents, including the criminal boss’ son.
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Michael Greco’s Conventions! Writing Killer Action Movies
WILDTA is that the Fill-In-The-Blanks method is a terrific method for rolling out options and committing to developing them, at least to the extent of the “Blanks.” Seeing the answers filled in definitely prompts more options, and avenues for the story; a really engaging process.
A HIGHLY SKILLED HERO
BALIN, combat-trained in Azerbaijani Army after Hamas, comes to USA to see his Dying Father. BALIN is trained in Muay Thai, Judo and Aikido, as well as Sharpshooter Training.
B. DEMAND FOR ACTION; PROBLEM
ARMENIAN-AMERICAN MOBSTER VOLDOST lost his Cousin to Azerbaijani conflict; wants to avenge family, and has killed an Azer. student at Cornell who was close to BALIN’s sister. BALIN has to get to VOLDOST and kill him before he organizes his goons to kill large swathes of Azerbaijanis in USA and in Azer.
C. MISSION
BALIN must neutralize the threat posed by infuriated, bellicose VOLDOST, primarily by killing him. VOLDOST exerts extremely broad and deep influence over Armenian government official and nationalist operatives, through his organized crime operation and its tentacles. Failing to stop VOLDOST will allow devastation of Azer. People living abroad, and in Azer. as well. Azer’s seafront on and claims to the Caspian Sea can also be compromised.
D. ANTAGONIST.
VOLDOST operates an extensive criminal enterprise in the USA and Armenia. VOLDOST is ruthless, a womanizer of Raputin-espque proportions, and a sociopath. VOLDOST especially wants to kill BALIN’s father TOVAR, who is a well-respected and adored Azer. elder, and an important root of Azer. culture.
E. ESCALATING ACTION.
As BALIN searches for VOLDOST, VOLDOST’s operation is on the ground and on the web searching for BALIN, intending to torture BALIN to force him to divulge TOVAR’S location, and kill him. VOLDOST also has an Armenian operative track TOVAR, and set up booby traps around Balin’s father’s home and agents.
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Hello, my name is Michael Greco. I have written two feature screenplays, one serial pilot script and a one-act stageplay. I hope to get from this class an understanding of and tools for creating compelling action stories and screenplays.
I love music, and regularly break into singing.
I look forward to meeting and working with everyone. Cheers, MG
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Michael Greco
I agree to the terms of this Release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Subject line: Michael Greco’s Projects and Insights.
Lesson 1: How Paid Writing Assignments Work / Paid Writing Assignments class.
Two projects I am bringing into this class / budget range for each:
a. An idea that I would like to create.
Lothario photojournalist Eric cares for no one but himself and his epicurean, hedonistic life – he charms even his Central Asian Black Market Abductors when he is kidnapped and held for ransom in Uzbekistan. But when abductee Lyriana, a 13-year old from San Diego, joins his captivity, his ruthlessness and drive to protect others engages, mobilizing Eric to risk grievous injury and death to liberate both of them from their predatory captors.
Budget $5M – $15M
b. A finished script.
Shots Fired, a feature-length thriller posing the question of an ethical cop prone to violent rages can face down his corrupt station chief and bring to market an early warning active shooter detection system that will dramatically expedite police response to mass school shootings.
Budget $15M – $40M
4. What I learned from the opening teleconference.
Writing assignments are a critical sector of the bank of work available to professional screenwriters in the movie / TV / streaming motion media industry. To add value as a paid writer-on-assignment, it is important (critical) to match the Producer’s energy and vision for the concept and the project, and also to match her commitment to seeing the movie or TV serial made and distributed or streamed. Becoming a writer who can quickly get behind a project and deliver promptly the elements a producer / studio is seeking for a project, as well as make changes to the script or treatment needed by the producer, is valuable to the writer garnering future assignments with greater responsibility for the finished film or production, and greater compensation levels.
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Michael Greco
I agree to the terms of this Release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hi Everyone,
My name is Michael Greco, I am in Chicago. I have written two feature scripts, several concepts in varying stages of progress. I am on the writing staff of a serial project for which the producers are currently seeking funding. I am also an actor, lawyer by day, and possess an unexpectedly strong singing voice / ability [Welp … I like to hear it!].
Excited to be here!
Cheers, Michael
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Michael Greco
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hello Everyone,
My name is Michael Greco. I have written two feature film scripts, and am co-writing a third. What I hope to get out of this class is to build on techniques and structure for creating a project from conception through re-writes, and to further explore processes for creating stories that are meaningful and memorable. I am a city boy, speak three languages, love art etc., but I also love to be in the wilderness and the ocean periodically.
Looking forward to this ‘Incredible’ journey! Cheers, Michael
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MICHAEL GRECO’s Character Emotions [Mod. 1 Lesson 5]
What I Learned Doing this Assignment is the
internal emotions, conflicts, secrets and defense / coping mechanisms are [to
an outside observer] somewhat obvious or intuitive, and simultaneously intricate,
and especially evocative as they most immediately evoke the subconscious and
the dream state. Or the reality of the character that inheres in the interstices
of his/her active attention and awareness.Ass. 1 Example Show
American Horror Story
Vivien:
A. Situational: Hope: family, love / Fear: abandonment; isolation and exclusion from loved ones.
B. Motivation: Want: love / Need: protection and loyalty
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: needy, dependent, frail, a pushover / Public Mask: loyal, giving wife and devoted motherD. Weaknesses: failure of fight or flight capacity; cannot get out of grim situations, shuts down emotionally and gives up
E. Triggers: disloyalty and deceit; threaten children, babies
F. Coping Mechanism: throw energy into protecting Violet, childrenBen:
A. Situational: Hope: Keep Wife with him. / Fear: Being Alone, without a sex partner
B. Motivation: Want: sex / Need: affection
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: manipulate patients and wife/ mistress into dependence / Public Mask: helpful, conscientious psychiatrist, counselor
D. Weaknesses: vanity, lust, sex addiction; uses guilt and professional position / knowledge to control othersE. Triggers: Threaten his professionalism or his capacity / skills as father
F. Coping Mechanism: sexual relations, love of a woman.ASS. 2 – MICHAEL GRECO Concept – Miles v. Fritz
MILES
l A. Situational: Hope: To lead and guide society and government to better protect natural resources, environment / Fear: that he will be exposed as a past black marketer / human trafficker – that he will be discredited.
l B. Motivation: Want: authority power and respect / Need: to be important – no make a difference in the world.
l C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion: lust for power and sex, self-aggrandizement / Public Mask: major influence in environmental protection radicalism movement.
l D. Weaknesses: Hotheaded; ruled by emotions; vengeful.
l E. Triggers: any suggestion that he is powerless or unimportant.
l F. Coping Mechanism: manic pursuit of radical activist agenda; ignite support of ground level activists like Mussolini or Franco did with ordinary Italian and Spanish people of their time.
FRITZ
l A. Situational: Hope for a world where Fritz Is On Top, The A#1 ‘Go-To’ Guy / Fear that his wayward actions will prevent him from advancing in the Bureau
l B. Motivation: Want love and sex / Need trust, connection
l C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion – mistrustful, suspicious, always believes the worst about people and recasts his experience to justify that belief / Public Mask – dedicated public servant, catching the perps., putting away the “Bad Guys”
l D. Weaknesses – Self-absorbed; fascinated with his own power and ability, and driven to make sure everyone around him recognizes it.
l E. Triggers – exposure of his blind spots and weaknesses; being ridiculed
l F. Coping Mechanism – throws himself into martial arts and firearms as well as his job so that no one will even dare challenge him or minimize his achievements.
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MICHAEL GRECO’S Intriguing Character Layers – Mod. 1 Lesson 4
What I Learned Doing this Assignment is exploring different facets of intrigue in the Characters fills out the characters in greater dimension, and creates lots of potential reveals and setups / payoffs.
Example Show: American Horror Story
Hidden
agendas Ben wanted to keep
affair with Hayden going.Violet wants family to stay in Murder House
Original Doctor murderer creates a ‘Franken[monster]-Baby’ in the basement laboratory to exhume stillborn son.
Tate and other patients of Ben seek his psychiatric counsel so they can maintain access to the Murder House.
Security guy on call competes for Vivian’s affection, intimacy and reliance / devotion.
Competition Tate competes with ghosts for
possession of Murder House.Armenian buyer wants to outbid everyone, raze Murder House. Because he can.
Moira wants to keep her position as maid of Murder House, and competes for men’s attention and lust.
Gay man wants to outdo everyone else who has inhabited the Murder House in exploiting its grandeur.
Conspiracy Violet conspires with Tate to
keep him in Murder House.Ben allies with police and neighbor Constance against Vivian to commit her to psychiatric inpatient care.
Secrets Tate and the Sharon Tate murderer pose as psychiatric patients to access the Murder House and get close to Ben.
Vivian strikes up extramarital affair with security contractor guy, gets pregnant with his child.
Deception Constance surficially comes to the aid of Ben and Vivian and seeks to poison them to cause illness and control them..
Ben goes to Boston on a false pretense declared to Vivian, where in fact Hayden demands that Ben accompany her to abort her pregnancy with him.
Wound Ben is weak, an unsuccessful psychiatrist, and gives in to lust in having affair with Hayden and later with maid Moira.
Violet is a lone wolf, lots of internal pain, cuts herself.
Secret Identity Violet drives the decision of Ben and Vivian to buy the Murder House.
Vivian is driven to protect her family, will do so at all costs.
Assignment 2 – Miles and Fritz Concept
Character
Name: MILES
Role: Eco-ActivistHidden agendas: Force / Induce all of his peaceful environmental activist volunteers to devote themselves to high-impact radical guerilla tactics
Competition: STORRS BOUTON, chemical engineer, stokes MILES as he is trying to develop environmentally friendly household cleaning products.
WINSLOW ARMHOLSTER, options trader, stokes MILES to competitive streak as he is truly successful, gives advice to MILES.
Conspiracies: MILES gets information that FRITZ is being investigated for impropriety on the job – from Fritz’ Bureau Chief, Marcella Bordelon.
Secrets: MILES in closet as gay
man, lover is oil engineer WOLF (whoalso benefits in career by keeping relationship and sexual
orientation concealed). MILES keeps secret his human
trafficking past.
Deception: Uses magnanimous, sweeping
rhetoric to mobilize allies andconceal terrorist or guerilla objectives. Presents a cooperative
activism initiative effort, governed by group consensus, to
conceal
– Wound: Abused / beaten as a child, making him feel helpless, impotent,
unable to influence the world around him much less shape in a
way that makes him feel safe.
Secret
Identity: Vengeful provocateur;
global conqueror.Character
Name: FRITZ
Role: FBI Agent trying to
rebuild reputationHidden agendas: Fritz is committed to aggressive tactics in law enforcement, wants to do everything feasible to solve his cases and apprehend the perpetrators – by any means necessary.
Competition: FRITZ competes with his chief MARCELLA to prove he is the most able and effective agent, suited to do only the most challenging cases.
FRITZ competes with Constanza to by the best, most effective federal agent and employee.
Conspiracies: FRITZ uses harassment / scare tactics to enlist Indigo Bryant and Winslow Armholster as informers against MILES.
Secrets: FRITZ is a phenomenal ballroom dancer…and tap dancer. These are things he keeps hidden to maintain the façade he has concocted of FBI agents being brutal, macho, tough-as-nails. FRITZ impregnated a woman in Czech Republic when he was galavanting around Europe during undergraduate years. He supports the child, but does not acknowledge publicly that he has a son “out of wedlock,” again assuming that is incompatible with FBI norms.
Deception: FRITZ poses as cool, poised and disciplined, able to meet the pressures of high-conflict scenarios. In fact, FRITZ is a brute who loves nothing as much as to bash in the skulls of his detractors and nemeses/ “enemies.”
Wound: FRITZ was a sensitive child, always got picked last for sports teams and always had an amiable rapport with girls and women. FRITZ feels like he is not a real man, and goes to great lengths to disabuse everyone else of that notion.
Secret
Identity: Invincible PowerMonger. -
MICHAEL GRECO’S ENGAGING MAIN CHARACTERS – Lesson 3
WILDTA is that exploring multiple layers and facets of main characters deepens them and opens up potential storylines and subplots.
Assignment 1
Asst. 1 – American Horror Story:
A.
Role in the show:Vivian: mother and wife – center of the family trying to hold them together.
Ben: floundering psychiatrist, faithless husband and marginal father trying to repair past errors.
B.
Unique Purpose / Expertise:Vivian: passionate in defending her family and daughter.
Ben: psychiatry education, training and experience enables him to see personalities and motivations of those around him clearly.
C.
Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?Vivian: angling exclusively to protect and solidify safety and position of herself and daughter Violet.
Ben: still maintains contact with mistress Hayden, effecting abandonment of Vivian and family and impelling Hayden to volatile, vengeful behavior, posing risk to Vivian and Violet.
D.
Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?Vivian: Shuts out Ben sexually, thwarting his efforts to rehabilitate marriage and denying him forgiveness or any way forward within the marriage.
Ben: secretly continuing affair with Hayden, protracting deceit of Vivian.
E.
Unpredictable: What will they do next?Vivian: Abandon Ben and throw him up to the demons swarming the Murder House.
Ben: Deceive Vivian, depriving her of her marriage and their family, and exposing her to risk of STD, pregnancy of Hayden depleting Ben’s resources and murder of Violet and Vivian by Hayden.
F.
Empathetic: Why do we care?Vivian: Earnest in efforts to keep family together; victim of broken marriage wrought by Ben’s infidelity.
Ben: Trying to repair marriage, victim of his own feeble will and lust / passion. Gets in over head with Hayden, and with his tormentor, the man who murdered his family and stalks and blackmails him – becomes a victim to both of them, and other forces in the Murder House.
MICHAEL GRECO Concept – Miles and Fritz
A. ROLE IN THE SHOW
MILES is the environmental scientist making his mark as a radical.
FRITZ is the FBI Agent who does things his own way now must ‘toe the line’ to keep his job as he infiltrates the militant environmentalist radical fringe groups.
B. UNIQUE PURPOSE / EXPERTISE
MILES wants to save the planet from environmental implosion in 20 to 50 years, by plundering the commercial enterprises and structures which are causing the overconsumption and degradation of resources and the natural environment.
FRITZ is the plays-by-his-own-rules hotheaded FBI Agent impassioned to protect ordinary people and their lawfully-acquired jobs and property against all competing forces whether they be criminal or radical.
C. INTRIGUE UNDER THE SURFACE.
MILES is an outside with a nihilistic streak, and caused a lot of pain, trauma and even death as a driver for human traffickers; he is now out of the black market, organized crime world, and aims to settle the score he built up against himself by protecting human life on a dramatic scale.
FRITZ tried to play clean in the Bureau to escape his family history of corrupt cops, including his grandfather, uncles and an aunt who was both town mayor and convicted prisoner, but has found the straight-shooting path in his work ineffective in the competitive law enforcement world.
D. MORAL ISSUES
MILES wants to create structure and a contented life for himself and his partner WOLF. At the same time he wants to mobilize substantially the intransigent state of environmental protection, and knows that only high-impact way to do this is to disrupt the corporate and large commerce pipelines of income, consumption and pollution.
FRITZ is hamstrung within his own agency as he fights to keep his job in the wake of disciplinary issues and his colleagues keep him at a distance, and also in the field as he tries to penetrate crime structures while playing ‘straight.’
E. UNPREDICTABLE.
MILES struggled with ADHD and struck out working in a laboratory, which originally drove him to the human-trafficking ring. Now he fights to maintain income and structure while getting over-exuberant about environmental activism initiatives. MILES is willing to take chances to get the radical message across in a loud, dramatic way. And he only has one gear: Overdrive.
FRITZ is not greedy or self-interested, but he sees no problem in cutting corners and doing things his own way when it comes to thwarting criminal activity and exposing and punishing his targets – where they are brutal narcotics traffickers or radical environmentalists.
F. EMPATHETIC
MILES has overcome personal struggles with ADHD and being targeted for harassment because he is gay. And he is earnest in his drive to force change in improvements in environmental protection initiatives and regulation.
FRITZ came out of a family plagued by organized crime and corrupt cops, and is a black sheep in pursuing his work for the Bureau. FRITZ is ruthless, but is so clearly dedicated to protecting the public and rooting out crime and the menace – as he sees it – of radical activism, in the interest of preserving an orderly, law-abiding society and country. FRITZ’ ‘heart is in the right place.’
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Asst. 1 – American Horror Story:
A. Main:
– Vivien: wife and mother trying to hold family together and find the self she lost while dealing with escalating horrors within and around Murder House.
– Ben: mediocre psychiatrist trying to rebuild trust in his marriage and maintain private practice with increasing difficulties posed by psychotic patients, his clinging former mistress and an ax-murderer stalker warning him of his imminent doom.
– Violet: emotionally imbalance daughter cuts herself, flirts with Ben’s angry young homicidal patient Tate and courts mystery and disaster brooding in the Basement.
– Adelaide: neighbor mongoloid girl installs herself as a fixture in the Murder House, constantly turning up inside it, causing anxiety to Vivien and Ben but also interceding and warning of imminent danger.
B. Connected Circle:
– Constance: mother of Adelaide, tormentor of Harmons and of Moira the Maid;
– Moira: maid and shape-shifting seductress;
– Tate: Ben’s [impostor] patient, a scheming psychopath who devises terror and murder plots in the basement of the Murder House, fantasizes about committing mass murders; romantic suitor / pursuer of Ben’s daughter Violet;
– Burn victim Guy who burned his wife and children to death, stalks Ben to warn him of the dangers he is courting;
– Ben’s ex-mistress in Boston.
C. Environment Circle
– Twin teenage vandal boys;
– Impostor patient woman / Trio that tries to reproduce Manson / Sharon Tate murders;
– Mean Girl at Violet’s school;
– Real estate agent who sells Harmons the Murder House (immediately finds Ben sexist, selfish, distasteful).
– Violet’s teachers.
– Ms. Harmon’s gyn. physician.
– Ben’s professional colleagues.
– Tour guides, gapers and gawkers
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MICHAEL GRECO
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hi Everyone!
I am Michael Greco.
I’ve completed two feature-length scripts as well as short plays and short stories [narrative / prose form].
I aim to work with and apply the highly-esteemed Bingeworthy TV processes to write a compelling pilot and bible for a series that will run 5+ years. And NEVER ‘Jump The Shark.’
I am a once-and-future nature boy, whitewater kayaker and rock / ice climber.
Looking forward to this!
Cheers,MG
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Michael Greco Full-Out Characters. Creative Mastery Lesson 11 8 4 21
WIL That Is Improving My Writing is that taking the character to the outer limits of her/his own psyche creates much greater interest and generates a lot more possibilities for advancing the story.
Working Characters’ Profiles 8 4 21
ROLLIE
Lover-Warrior, fiercely protective of those he cares about, overly willing to extend himself for those who don’t do nearly as much for him.
IRIS
Warrior; high-spirited, passionate, driven. Never Say Die tenacity. Strong flair for engaging people and sharing vision created by creative side persons.
ARGON
Domineering, aggressive, poses as leader because it’s the best job but lacks caring and attention to his tribe. Better at punishing than motivating.
Re-Worked Characters’ Profiles 8 4 21
ROLLIE
Fiercely protective of those he cares about, overly willing to extend himself for those who don’t do nearly as much for him. Simmering with anger at the world, given to occasional manic, violent outbursts.
IRIS
Warrior energy; high-spirited, passionate, driven. Never Say Die tenacity. Strong flair for engaging people and sharing vision created by creative side persons. Demanding of herself and those around her; perfectionist tendencies. Constantly cracking the whip on those around her to match her energy and effort level.
ARGON
Domineering, aggressive, poses as leader because it’s the best job but lacks caring and attention to his tribe. Better at punishing than motivating. Self-absorbed, expects all around him to think highly of him. Sadistic. Truly fashions the world a better place with him leading as many people as possible. Driven to have sexual relationships with men, and to keep that a secret.
-
MICHAEL GRECO LESSON 8 SCENE JOHN NICK FIGHT 7 27 21
LOGLINE: JOHN and NICK are henchmen for Fat Yelic, the mob capo; both collect tributes from contractors, restaurants and nightclubs. One of them has evidently been skimming the take.
ESSENCE: NICK wants to do everything his own way. JOHN needs to pin him back, and acquaint NICK with the Chain Of Command, while establishing his own personal dominion over NICK.
SCENE follows:
INT. AUTOMOTIVE REPAIR GARAGE. NIGHT.
JOHN sits with left hand palm down on card table, fingers splayed out, his right hand quickly stabbing the spaces between his fingers with a switchblade. NICK reads sports pages of newspaper, twitching, looking bored and looking around.
NICK:
No jobs today?
JOHN:
Possible.
NICK:
‘Dja talk to Fat Yelic?
JOHN:
He messaged me-
NICK studies JOHN’s stabbing.
NICK:
Let me try that-
JOHN looks up, tosses knife across table and rests left hand in his lap.
JOHN:
Sure-
NICK picks up at knife, looks at JOHN.
NICK:
No – your hand, c’mon-
JOHN:
I haven’t seen your knife skills yet-
NICK:
I have you and, ah, you and your girl to dinner, lamb borscht. You’ll, you’ll see knife skills. C’mon-
JOHN puts left hand on table. NICK takes a couple clunky tabs. As the third stab falls, JOHN snaps back his hand.
NICK:
Hey, c’mon!
JOHN:
Cannot wait to see what you do to spuds-
NICK:
You will, TRUST me – it’s a date.
NICK gets up, throws on jacket and grabs keys from jeans pocket.
JOHN:
Going out again? Been hitting it hard-
NICK:
Stan the Burrito Guy’s a little light as of Wednesday – asked me to drop by today-
JOHN:
It’s Saturday. We’re supposed to sweep once every week.
NICK (studying JOHN):
The weekly? Right, I, ah, I know-
JOHN:
The weekly. Right. ONCE. Collect the payments. No tears.
NICK:
I, ah, right, I know-
JOHN:
So, so YOU, how noble of you, to extend credit on the weekly, you just tell ‘em to bring it by, whenever they can-
NICK:
Well – yeah. No? Everyone’s crying poor. I think I’m the only one in the world who’s hittin’ quota-
JOHN:
Oh, SURE, here it comes, look at all the money I’m making, look how hard I work-
NICK:
What’s in your craw? You’d agree with me if you hit yours-
JOHN:
I used to hit Stan, y’know. A lucrative stop, I gotta say-
NICK:
Things change, John. Even in the lucrative burrito biz-
JOHN:
Sure. You wouldn’t think that first, not when you look at the lines out his door, the supply trucks in the alley behind him-
NICK:
Taste his Bandito Burrito you’ll be counting out his knockout-
JOHN:
So you’re his menu consultant now-
NICK:
Stan shows me his books-
JOHN:
You help him with his books-
NICK:
What?
JOHN:
What you’re telling me: You counsel him on his Burritos, and you help keep his books?
NICK:
I didn’t say anything- I’m out-
JOHN:
I’ll grab my jacket-
JOHN goes to front room.
NICK (yelling after him):
I’m doing the run-
JOHN returns, throwing on his jacket.
JOHN:
I’ll ride along-
NICK:
To Stan. Bandejo Burritos. It’s mine now-
Pause.
JOHN:
Yelic wants me to. Besides, you’re still in training-
NICK:
FUCK Fat Yelic-
JOHN:
Should I quote you?
NICK:
Are you his errand boy?
JOHN:
Today? Yeah, if that’s what he says. Much like yourself-
NICK:
Stan’s, ah, nervous, we can’t show up Two Deep- I’ll go alone-
JOHN:
That’s not my instructions-
NICK:
He didn’t say anything- I, ah, I’ll call him-
Nick starts to dial.
JOHN:
You bother Fat Yelic over this? Are you new here?
Nick clicks off to hang up.
JOHN (cont’d):
Wise choice Cherry. Get in the car-
NICK:
I gotta frisk ya-
JOHN:
You’ve been trained well-
JOHN holds out arms. NICK pats him down tentatively, removes .22 cal. pistol from JOHN’s jacket pocket, sets it in tool drawer.
JOHN:
I won’t be needing it, will I?
NICK:
Jus’, jus’ a ride-along – right?
NICK drives to Burrito Rancho, pulling up behind it in alley. JOHN walks toward kitchen door. NICK grabs a bat from car.
JOHN:
Need that?
NICK:
Ah, Persuasion, that’s all-
JOHN barrels into kitchen. NICK follows. The cooks clear out.
JOHN turns to direct NICK to lead the charge, as NICK rears back to take a swing at JOHN. JOHN dives onto the arm with the bat and elbows NICK under the chin, driving NICK to ground and taking five or six angry jabs right into his face, knocking NICK out cold. STAN enters.
JOHN:
Hey STAN, clear a steam table, we’ve got to let NICK sleep it off. You got the payment?
STAN:
Nick’s? Right here!
JOHN:
Great – from now on you pay his payment AND you pay me – EVERY WEDNESDAY NO EXCUSES NO DELAYS. Remember – Our secret.
STAN nods gruffly.
-
RE-WRITTEN SCENE: SURPRISE! by Michael Greco
INT. PIER OUTSIDE YACHT CLUB AT LAKEFRONT. NIGHT.
TRENT comes around outside of Yacht Club Building to Pier. Lights up on Pier quickly, a dozen people stand facing TRENT.
ALL:
Surprise!
ROBERT feverishly snaps photos, then joins in the singing.
TRENT makes his way through the crowd, and comes up to ROBERT.
TRENT:
Robert! I’m surprised you’re here!
ROBERT:
Yeah! Deborah told me about it.
TRENT:
Deborah, huh? She mentioned you love surprises-
ROBERT:
Oh, yeah! She’s as good a friend as I’ve got-
TRENT:
I believe that – showing up at her pub crawl unexpectedly, dialing up Carver, her ex-, to interview him about their breakup for your blog- sounds like your friendship is…
ROBERT:
Battle-Tested. Ah, That’s for sure, Trent, Deborah and I are battle-tested! By the way, I got forty comments on that blog!
TRENT:
Deborah’s ex- had a lot to say-
ROBERT (lowering his voice):
Well, Trent, I mean, she’s a true friend, of course, but for relationships, Deborah, uh, well … can I say ISSUES! Carver was sort of bitter; I wouldn’t say it was all her fault, but still–
TRENT:
Your blog brought out Carver’s noble, magnanimous qualities-
ROBERT:
Sometimes he was those things. I’m sure Deborah would agree. When you know them like I know them, you’ll see. Deborah has some – we’re BFF but – Deborah has issues dating nice guys-
TRENT:
That so? She doesn’t have ‘issues’ with me-
ROBERT:
With YOU – oh NO, of course not, you’re so, Trent, look around you, you’re a PRINCE among men, the best thing ever for her-
TRENT:
You sell yourself short- (thinking) does Deborah know that-
ROBERT:
I just mean, your attention to detail, your gifts of planning, coordinating groups for such specific purposes; your boycott got the Dessert Bar to add your Klondike bars to their menu-
TRENT:
That’s … those are my gifts-
ROBERT:
I should say so! Some of Deborah’s comments on SmashMouth make it seem like she thinks you’re just another good-looking slab-
TRENT:
Is that so-
ROBERT:
I mean, well, what do I know, I am – I mean, it’s just an interpretation. That’s what, that’s what I do-
TRENT:
That’s what you do- hmmm. I may need you-
ROBERT (flustered):
Mmm- what do you, ah – what does that mean?
TRENT:
I’m a man of substantial means – it could be disastrous if a man of my – substance – got involved with a woman who has – well, as you say – “issues”-
ROBERT:
Deborah didn’t say you were wealthy-
TRENT:
Robert, strikes me you’re a guy who could find out just what Deborah tells other people about me – I mean, you being someone whom she really trusts, in whom she reposes confidence. We just need you to record her. Record her secretly-
ROBERT (flustered):
Mmm- right. That is, something different – I really don’t know, I just, it’s hard to get to know her, to get to know anyone – I, I, I – don’t want to wreck that trust. Say, er, where is Deborah?
TRENT:
Huh? She should be here – she invited you, right?
ROBERT:
Oh, right, of course-
TRENT (starting back into Club building):
Come on back, let’s get you wired up-
ROBERT:
Wired?
TRENT:
Yeah – we have to do this effectively, otherwise it won’t work- you’ll just get her to talk. Intimately. Get her to talk about me, my sizable resources, her plans for us – for my money-
ROBERT:
Come on, TRENT, I’d never get her- why would she reveal that to-
TRENT walks into building, moves through unimpeded, attending Yachtmaster behind bar exchanges conspiratorial nods with TRENT. ROBERT follows, sees TRENT acting as though he owns the place.
ROBERT (continued):
Did you, ah, didja work out your problem with your membership-
TRENT:
Problem?
ROBERT:
There was the – wasn’t there some question of your membership being annulled? I’m just, I hear things. With the blog I mean-
TRENT:
I think I know how you were misinformed. It was some incompetent attending Yachtmaster thinking that me changing my company structure iced me out of the Club. Somehow-
ROBERT:
OH, that’s – so incompetent – how embarrassing – for him I mean-
TRENT:
Just a mistake, all is rectified. Not really embarrassing-
ROBERT:
I just, I felt, uh, I felt so bad about the whole thing-
TRENT:
Happens to us guys, who have money. A mistake, that’s all-
ROBERT:
SO you still have the company? You weren’t ousted? That’s great!
TRENT eyes ROBERT for an extra second. ROBERT twitches, squirms.
TRENT:
Keeps me moving. Come on-
TRENT and ROBERT enter basement, see DEBORAH and a man (CARVER).
ROBERT:
Oh, uh, hi Deborah, wow, I guess this is – where the party is!
TRENT:
We knew you’d want some exclusive content. For your BLOG, right?
ROBERT:
Oh, ah, – it’s your BIRTHDAY! What goes in Vegas STAYS in Vegas!
TRENT:
You won’t be blogging about this? Oh, remember Deborah’s ex-?
CARVER:
Carver. What’s up-
ROBERT:
Car-, oh sure, I recognize you, the voice, I mean-
TRENT:
We thought we’d get together to review some of the facts-
ROBERT:
With ME? Oh, well, uh, no, my blogs are, are, for entertainment-
TRENT:
Really? No facts?
ROBERT:
Some facts, but it’s entertainment – you want 10,000 hits.
TRENT:
So you enhance the facts-
ROBERT:
Enhanced facts… well, yes, I’d say – enhanced facts. I like it-
TRENT:
I believe it. I think I can enhance this little party here-
TRENT rears back and jabs a punch into ROBERT’S face, knocking him backward toward CARVER. CARVER catches, ROBERT, helps him keep on his feet.
ROBERT:
Whoa, TRENT, I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m sorry if I-
TRENT clips ROBERT again, across jaw. ROBERT reels, falls to ground. TRENT kneels over him, punches down into ROBERT’s face several times more. ROBERT is groaning, whimpering.
TRENT:
This is gonna be the response every time you drag US through your blog. KEEP OUR NAMES AND RELATIONSHIPS OUT OF IT.
FADE OUT
-
SCENE – OPTIONS
Robert is attending a surprise birthday party for Trent, with the hope of scoring some spicy photos of Trent over-celebrating.
Robert is invited to a Gang Initiation of the Cobras, a Gang he desperately wants to join. Robert wants to become deputy or enforcer, and outsmart current enforcer Trent to get there.
Robert goes to a late-night party hoping to engage in sport sex, while his lover Trent is traveling for work.
Trent is the birthday celebrant, driven to test Robert’s loyalty and good faith by hot-boxing him about a recent spat of texts Robert sent to a mutual friend.
Trent is the able 1<sup>st</sup> deputy and Enforcer of the Cobras, fiercely loyal to and protective of Mo the Leader; suspicious that people are trying to supplant him, constantly trying to pose loyalty tests to other gang members.
Trent goes to a raunchy club while pretending to his lover Robert that he has gone out of town, hoping to trap Robert engaging in sport sex behind Trent’s back.
———————————
SCENE
SURPRISE! by Michael Greco
INT. PIER OUTSIDE YACHT CLUB AT LAKEFRONT. NIGHT.
TRENT comes around outside of Yacht Club Building to Pier. Lights come up on Pier quickly, as a dozen people stand across from and facing TRENT.
ALL:
Surprise!
ROBERT feverishly snaps photos, then joins in the singing.
TRENT makes his way through the crowd, and comes up to ROBERT.
TRENT:
HEY! Glad you’re here!
ROBERT:
Me too! Deborah told me about it.
TRENT:
Deborah mentions you love surprises-
ROBERT:
Oh – huh- I wonder-
TRENT:
Showing up at her pub crawl unexpectedly, dialing up her ex- to interview him about their breakup for your blog-
ROBERT:
Right! I got forty comments on that blog-
TRENT:
Deborah’s ex- had a lot to say-
ROBERT (lowering his voice):
He was sort of bitter-
TRENT:
He sounded so noble, so magnanimous, in the blog-
ROBERT:
Deborah has some issues with dating nice guys-
TRENT:
She doesn’t have issues with me-
ROBERT:
With – YOU – oh NO, of course not, you’re so, Trent, you’re the best thing that’s happened-
TRENT:
Oh, of course, everyone knows that-
ROBERT:
I wonder if Deborah knows that-
TRENT:
You wonder?
ROBERT:
I just mean, your attention to detail, your gifts of planning and coordinating groups for such specific purposes, I mean, you got the Dessert Bar to add your Klondike bars to their menu when you staged that boycott-
TRENT:
That’s … those are my gifts-
ROBERT:
I should say so! Some of Deborah’s comments on SmashMouth make it seem like she thinks you’re just another good-looking slab-
TRENT:
Is that so-
ROBERT:
I mean, well, what do I know, I am – I mean, it’s just an interpretation. That’s what, that’s what I do-
TRENT:
That’s what you do-
-2-
ROBERT (flustered):
Mmm- right. Say, er, where is Deborah?
TRENT:
Deborah? She should be here – she invited you, right?
ROBERT:
Oh, right, of course-
TRENT (starting back into Club building):
Come on back, let’s get a drink-
ROBERT:
OH, I thought –
TRENT):
Yeah?
TRENT walks into building, and is moving through, attending Yachtmaster behind bar exchanges nods with TRENT. ROBERT follows.
ROBERT:
Did you, ah, did, did you work out your problem with your membership-
TRENT:
That? Oh, that was some incompetent attending Yachtmaster thinking that me changing my company structure iced me out of the Club-
ROBERT:
OH, that’s, er, so incompetent – how embarrassing – for him I mean-
TRENT:
Just a mistake. Not as embarrassing as you made it sound-
ROBERT:
I just, I felt, uh, I felt so bad about the whole thing-
-3-
TRENT:
A misunderstanding is all-
ROBERT:
SO you still have your company? You weren’t ousted? That’s great!
TRENT eyes ROBERT for an extra second. ROBERT twitches, squirms.
TRENT:
Keeps me moving. My stash is downstairs. The good stuff. Come on-
TRENT and ROBERT go down to basement. DEBORAH and another man (CARVER) are waiting.
ROBERT:
Oh, uh, hi Deborah, wow, I guess this is – where the party is!
TRENT:
You know it! We knew you’d want some exclusive content. For your informative BLOG, right?
ROBERT:
Oh, ah, right, well – it’s your BIRTHDAY! What goes in Vegas, STAYS in Vegas, right?
TRENT:
Is that right? You won’t be blogging about this? You remember Carver, Deborah’s ex-, don’t you-
CARVER:
What’s up-
ROBERT:
Car-, oh sure, I recognize you, the voice, I mean-
TRENT:
We thought we’d get together to review some of the facts-
ROBERT:
With ME? Oh, well, uh, no, my blogs are, are, for entertainment-
-4-
TRENT:
Really? No facts?
ROBERT:
Well, of course, my process, you start with facts, but it’s for entertainment – you’re trying for 10,000 hits –
TRENT:
So you enhance the facts-
ROBERT:
Enhanced facts, uh, well, yes, I would say – enhanced facts. I like that-
TRENT:
I think I can enhance this little party here-
TRENT rears back and jabs a punch into ROBERT’S face, knocking him backward toward CARVER. CARVER catches, ROBERT, helps him keep on his feet.
ROBERT:
Whoa, TRENT, I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m sorry if I-
TRENT clips ROBERT again, across jaw. ROBERT reels, falls to ground. TRENT kneels over him, punches down into ROBERT’s face several times more. ROBERT is groaning, whimpering.
TRENT:
This is gonna be the response every time you drag US through your blog. KEEP OUR NAMES AND RELATIONSHIPS OUT OF IT.
FADE OUT
-5-
-
MICHAEL GRECO Max Interest Day 4 Creative Mastery 2 7.17.21
What I learned that is improving my writing is that exploring options in the areas identified opens up monumental possibilities for finding nuances in the characters and elevating multiple facets of the script.
SCENE 3-13 SHOTS FIRED.
Logline: Larry and his wife Angela angle to reprise the Threesome they had with Iris when they were in undergrad; Iris challenges Larry’s name for the alarm system, and comes up with a name that works, and transcends.
Essence: Larry’s ulterior motive for working with Iris on the mass shooting alarm system project is revealed: Larry wants to have sex with Iris. Since they are both married, Larry’s tack is to re-ignite the threesome that he and his now-wife Angela had with Iris during their undergrad years, and since they are working in his house Larry sees this as the perfect opportunity. Iris proves her tenacity and ingenuity, both deftly rebuffing Larry’s and Angela’s overtures and concentrating on the alarm system project. By the end of the scene, Iris has successfully challenged Larry’s name for the system, and come up with the name that will work: Shots Fired.
————————————————————–
ORIGINAL SCENE IN SCRIPT:
SCENE 3-13
INT. LARRY AND ANGELA’S RESIDENCE. NIGHT.
Larry and Iris sitting or standing around the dining room
table, which has become a War Room for Blackwatch system.
Iris keeps pounding away at the demographic maps and
comparing them to criminal arrest patterns and records. Larry
refers to the computer and to maps as well. At some point he
stops, rubs his eyes, and stretches his arms rearward.
IRIS:
He’ll come on board. In a way, he
just has to be convinced for
himself.
LARRY:
You, ah, have some influence on
him, just wife him into it-
Iris thinks a second, chuckles.
IRIS:
I can’t work him or … entice him
into it-
LARRY:
Aw, Come on, I mean, look at you-
IRIS:
Meanwhile, we concentrate on market
opportunities across the City –
That will bring everyone on board
LARRY:
You don’t have to hit it quite that
hard
IRIS:
Larry, this is the job
LARRY:
It’s going to sell itself, trust
me
IRIS:
Not a trust thing, believe me. It
will not sell itself. If we don’t
target the likely customers this
launch will fall flat. Seriously.
LARRY:
I know. I mean, sure.
IRIS:
This is what I know, based on my
knowledge. And my experience. This
is what I do.
LARRY:
I just don’t want you to get …
over-stressed-
Larry comes around table toward Iris. Iris subconsciously
moves in the same direction, keeping a distance.
IRIS:
I can worry about my stress, um,
stress levels-
Angela enters with a bottle of red wine three glasses and a
plate of cheeses and bread.
ANGELA:
Who’s ready for a break?
IRIS:
Oh, thanks anyhow, I should
probably-
Angela pours a glass of wine and offers it to Iris.
ANGELA:
Relax, you two have been huddled up
over this a few hours
LARRY:
Iris is the taskmaster – she’s
making me apply myself-
Iris looks at Larry.
IRIS:
That’s right. I guess. If you don’t
do this thing now someone else will
reverse engineer the same concept-
LARRY:
I was joking-
IRIS:
PHEW! We need to hit this hard-
ANGELA:
That’s why we need you-
LARRY:
Right, Iris, PLEASE make me work! I
am your slave-
Iris takes a glass.
ANGELA:
We are At Your Cervix-
IRIS:
(studying Angela)
I, ah, think you got a head-start
on Us
LARRY:
(guffawing)
We, we’d better catch up, Iris –
STAT!
Larry takes a huge chug, then reaches to refill.
ANGELA:
That’s exactly right – let’s get
this party started!
IRIS:
It’s a working party, in full
schwing… I wanted to talk about
BlackWatch-
LARRY:
HOH! Can’t distract Iris, Sweetie!
Yes, It’s working on you, eh?
IRIS:
Me, personally? No, that’s the
thing-
LARRY
(weak Scots brogue)
You don’t like BlackWatch? Elite Scottish Bobbies? It’s
BRAW! You Just need to steep in the
culture a bit More, Sweetie, grab
the Glenmorangie bottle, Wouldja?
Angela starts toward the mini-bar.
IRIS:
Wine will do fine, for me.
Angela stops and looks at Iris.
IRIS:
Really. (To Larry) That’s Just The
issue: we are marketing in America,
The USA, where no one in law
enforcement Cares about Scots cops.
Or ‘Bobbies’-
LARRY:
Not trew, Lassie, and NAWT just
‘Bobbies’! The BlackWatch is an
elite semi-militant force, well-trained And disciplined, entrusted
with the Security and safety of the
Scots from Hadrian’s Wall to Ben
Nevis and the Hebrides, from the
Boer War to Kandahar Afghanistan-
ANGELA:
I’ll grab their plaid-
IRIS:
No, I don’t need it, really, Larry.
Pause.
All the things you bring to
“BlackWatch” are based on your
unique experience. It just does not
resonate with all the Potential
markets and buyers outside your
little Scots clique-
LARRY:
(sulking)
It’s a clan-
IRIS:
Same thing. For most people, black
is dark, ominous and dangerous –
like the shooters BlackWatch is
trying to thwart-
LARRY:
You have to match the, the evil,
the menace, the terror of the
shooters with a corresponding
Force-
IRIS:
Okay-
LARRY:
Basic martial arts, really-
IRIS:
Most think black cat, black widow,
as in Satanic.
(MORE)
IRIS:
At least anti-Christian. And Worse,
BlackWatch sounds like a scrubbed-up white supremacist Group, that
spies on and maybe even lynches
Black People.
LARRY:
All right, that’s not it at all –
think – Here, run with me on this
one, think: The Black Panthers.
Again, force to meet an Evil force.
Pause.
LARRY:
You’re exquisite when you’re
thinking-
ANGELA:
HAH! Iris is always exquisite-
Iris sets down glass, gets up and starts to gather papers.
IRIS:
I think we can leave it there for
Tonight-
LARRY:
(reverting to Scots)
OH, please, I dinna mean to put
choff-
IRIS:
No, it’s cool, we’re getting tired
and sloshed-
ANGELA:
You shouldn’t drive – Why don’tcha
stay?
IRIS:
No, really, half a glass, is all I
had, I’m fine. I just need to
sleep-
ANGELA:
Come on, Iris, you know you can
sleep here-
LARRY:
For Auld Times’ Sake!
IRIS:
(chuckling)
It’s, uh, it’s not old times. But
those were Good times-
ANGELA:
(too loud and spirited)
Those were GREAT Times!
IRIS:
(shaking head)
Great times. Yeah, they were-
LARRY:
Yeah!
ANGELA:
They were-
IRIS:
(smiling slightly)
Yeah. I can’t sleep here. We’ll
talk tomorrow.
Pause. Iris starts towards the door, opens it to leave, then
turns back to look at deflated Larry and Angela.
IRIS:
The name is Shots Fired.
Pause.
IRIS:
‘Night Larry, ‘Night Angela.
Iris exits.
FADE OUT.
————————————————————–
ASSIGNMENT WORK
Logline: Larry and his wife Angela angle to reprise the Threesome they had with Iris when they were in undergrad; Iris challenges Larry’s name for the alarm system, and comes up with a name that works, and transcends.
Essence: Larry’s ulterior motive for working with Iris on the mass shooting alarm system project is revealed: Larry wants to have sex with Iris. Since they are both married, Larry’s tack is to re-ignite the threesome that he and his now-wife Angela had with Iris during their undergrad years, and since they are working in his house Larry sees this as the perfect opportunity. Iris proves her tenacity and ingenuity, both deftly rebuffing Larry’s and Angela’s overtures and concentrating on the alarm system project. By the end of the scene, Iris has successfully challenged Larry’s name for the system, and come up with the name that will work: Shots Fired.
Essence w/o On-the-nose.
More interesting setting
Intrigue
Challenging situation
Suspense
Uncertainty — hope/fear
Twist
Betrayal
Surprise
Reveal
– MG Options:
Move the scene to a Penthouse suite at Hotel Mondrian Los Angeles.
Larry rufies / dopes Iris so he can fuck her while she is unconscious.
Larry intimates that Rollie harbors a cuckold fantasy, thus secretly wants Iris to cheat on him with Larry.
Iris makes aggressive move on Angela, proposing sex between the two of
them that Larry cannot be a part of.
Larry intimates that he is going to bring on another marketing executive/ partner, and another cop consultant, as he is dissatisfied with Iris’ [and Rollie’s performance in promoting BlackWatch / Shots Fired system.
Larry threatens to shit-can the whole BlackWatch / Shots Fired project if Iris does not have sex with him.
Angela summonses Rollie to join them to make it a foursome.
Larry breaks out the bong / mescalin / peyote / LSD / ayahuasca / N2O to jack up the party.
RE-WRITE OF SCENE 3-13
INT. LARRY AND ANGELA’S PENTHOUSE SUITE AT HOTEL MONDRIAN LOS ANGELES. NIGHT.
Larry and Iris sitting or standing around the dining room
table in a luxury hotel suite, trays of food for a party, cocktail service set up at the bar. The room has become a War Room for Blackwatch system. Iris pounds away at the demographic maps, comparing them to criminal arrest patterns and records. Larry refers to the computer and to maps as well. At some point he stops, rubs his eyes, and stretches his arms rearward.
IRIS:
Rollie’s on board. He will be. He
just has to be convinced for
himself.
LARRY:
You, ah, have some influence, y’know. Just wife him into it-
Iris thinks a second, chuckles.
IRIS:
Not how he rolls-
LARRY:
Aw, Come on, I mean, look at you-
IRIS:
Don’t worry about that. We concentrate on market
opportunities across the City –
That will bring everyone on board-
Iris takes a canape’ from the nearby tray and bites into it. She swoons visibly.
Did you try these? They’re incredible-
LARRY:
They worked on the Orange County Under-Sheriffs, and the purchasing agents for Long Beach, Huntington Beach and Yorba Linda-
IRIS:
Is that who the honeymoon suite is for?
LARRY (shrugging):
This would not be intimate for a honeymoon… not the way I know you…
Iris rolls her eyes impatiently.
Penthouse suite. Of course. We gotta show them we’re substantial. Go ahead, eat some more. Have a drink, the bar’s stocked for bear. You don’t have to hit this plan quite that hard-
IRIS:
Larry, this is the job-
LARRY:
It’s going to sell itself. Trust me-
IRIS:
Not a trust thing, believe me. It
will not sell itself. If we don’t
target the likely customers this
launch will fall flat. Seriously.
LARRY:
I know. I mean, sure.
IRIS:
This is what I know, based on my
knowledge. And my experience. This
is what I do.
LARRY:
I just don’t want you to get …
over-stressed-
Larry comes around table toward Iris. Iris subconsciously
moves in the same direction, keeping a distance.
IRIS:
I can worry about my stress, um,
stress levels-
Angela enters with a bottle of red wine and another charcuterie board of cheeses and bread.
ANGELA:
Who’s ready for a break?
IRIS:
Oh, thanks anyhow, I should
probably-
Angela pours a glass of wine and offers it to Iris.
ANGELA:
Relax, you two have been huddled up
over this a few hours-
LARRY:
Iris is the taskmaster – she’s
making me apply myself-
Iris looks at Larry.
IRIS:
That’s right. I guess. If you don’t
do this thing now someone else will
reverse engineer the same concept-
LARRY:
I was joking-
IRIS (looking pointedly at Larry):
I am not. We need to hit this. Hard-
ANGELA:
That’s why we need you-
LARRY:
Right, Iris, PLEASE make me work! I
am your slave-
Iris takes a glass.
ANGELA (looking longingly at Iris):
We are At Your Serv-
IRIS:
(studying Angela)
I, ah, think you got a head-start
on Us-
LARRY:
(guffawing)
We, we’d better catch up, Iris –
STAT!
Larry takes a huge chug, then reaches to refill.
ANGELA:
That’s exactly right – let’s get
this party started!
IRIS:
It’s a working party, in full
throttle… I wanted to talk about
BlackWatch-
LARRY:
HOH! Can’t distract Iris, Sweetie!
Yes, It’s working on you, eh?
IRIS:
Me, personally? No, that’s the
thing-
LARRY (crossing room and opening cabinet, pulls out a plastic Ziploc of brown powder):
I’ve got something that I know will work on you…let me sweeten that cabernet of yours-
IRIS:
What – NO – what is that?
LARRY:
What – nothing. I was up in the Emerald Triangle last month. Picked up some party goods….
IRIS:
Party goods?
LARRY:
Sure! Remember Cal. State days? You hit the Peyote once or twice-
IRIS:
That was then. Last time I did that I lost my knees for two days. Still working here, no peyote tonight, not for me at least-
LARRY:
Come ON-
IRIS (considering):
I’ll be needing my knees. About BlackWatch-
LARRY:
(weak Scots brogue)
You don’t like BlackWatch? Elite Scottish Security Operatives? It’s BRAW! You Just need to steep in the culture a bit more. Sweetie, grab the Glenmorangie bottle, Wouldja?
Angela starts toward the bar.
IRIS:
Wine will do fine, for me. Just Cabernet, no party goods or Scots.
Angela stops and looks at Iris.
IRIS:
Really. (To Larry) That’s Just The
issue: we are marketing in America,
The USA, where no one in law
enforcement Cares about Scots cops.
‘Bobbies’ or whatever-
LARRY:
Not trew, Lassie, and NAWT just
‘Bobbies’! The BlackWatch is an
elite semi-militant force, well-trained And disciplined, entrusted
with the Security and safety of the
Scots from Hadrian’s Wall to Ben
Nevis and the Hebrides, from the
Boer War to Kandahar Afghanistan-
ANGELA:
I’ll grab their tartan-
IRIS:
No, I don’t need it, thanks Angela – really, Larry.
Pause.
All the things you bring to
“BlackWatch” are based on your
unique experience. It just does not
resonate with all the potential
markets and buyers outside your
little Scottish clique-
LARRY:
(sulking)
It’s a clan-
IRIS:
Same thing. For most people, black
is dark, ominous and dangerous –
like the shooters BlackWatch is
trying to thwart-
LARRY:
You have to match the, the evil,
the menace, the terror of the
shooters with a corresponding
Force-
IRIS:
Okay-
LARRY:
Basic martial arts, really-
IRIS:
Most think black cat, black widow,
as in Satanic.
(MORE)
IRIS:
At least anti-Christian. And Worse,
BlackWatch sounds like a scrubbed-up white supremacist Group. One that spies on and maybe even lynches
Black People.
LARRY:
All right, that’s not it at all –
think – Here, run with me on this
one, think: The Black Panthers.
Again, force to meet an Evil force.
Pause.
LARRY:
You’re exquisite when you’re
thinking-
ANGELA:
HAH! Iris is always exquisite-
Iris sets down glass, gets up and starts to gather papers.
IRIS:
I think we can leave it there for
Tonight-
LARRY:
(reverting to Scots)
OH, please, I dinna mean to put
choff-
IRIS:
No, it’s cool, we’re getting tired
and sloshed-
ANGELA:
You shouldn’t drive – Why don’tcha
stay? We’ve got the Penthouse ‘til noon tomorrow-
IRIS:
No, really, half a glass, is all I
had, I’m fine. I just need to
sleep-
ANGELA:
Come on, Iris, you know you can
sleep here-
LARRY:
For Auld Times’ Sake!
IRIS:
(chuckling)
It’s, uh, it’s not old times. But
those were Good times-
ANGELA:
(too loud and spirited)
Those were GREAT Times!
IRIS:
(shaking head)
Great times. Yeah, they were-
LARRY:
Yeah!
ANGELA:
They were-
IRIS:
(smiling slightly)
Yeah. I can’t sleep here. We’ll
talk tomorrow.
Pause. Iris starts towards the door, stops and turns. Iris walks straight to Angela, holding the Scots bottle, and puts a hand on the back of her neck and kisses her for several seconds. She backs up slightly on releasing the kiss, looking a stunned Angela right in the eyes. Iris turns and walks to the door, opens it, then turns back to look at flummoxed Larry and Angela.
IRIS:
The name is Shots Fired.
Pause.
IRIS:
‘Night Larry, ‘Night Angela.
Iris exits.
FADE OUT.
END OF RE-WRITE SCENE 3-13
———————————————————–
-
CREATIVE MASTERY 2 – DAY 3 – MICHAEL GRECO Profiles People [EXTREME PEOPLE]
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is finding and heightening the extremes of behavior and expression in characters organically pricks up attention, jacks up interest in the script and situation depicted. ‘Fortune Favors The Bold’ as the cliché promises – issues of debate and dissent are more readily explicated by the most extreme people among us.
ASSIGNMENT
——————–
1. Select three EXTREME people in your life. At least one of them should
be someone you really like. At least one of them should be someone you
don’t like.
PAT D – Dislike
GREG R – Really Like
PAUL S – Really Like
2. As I did above, think about the experiences you’ve had with each person
and make a list of their CORE traits. You’re not looking to know every
single thing about them. You want to get to the heart of who they are —
and with extreme people, that is easier to do.
PAT D – Stereotypical Irish storyteller and leprechaun energy, a lawyer who loves to fight to the hilt and convince the Judge to impose punishment sanctions (monetary fines) against his litigation opponents. Once late ‘90s I visited his office for a documents inspection / production, incident to which he regaled me with a 30-minute paean to his new wife, a patrician sommelier from an affluent family who could allegedly distinguish by smell / aroma some 6,000 distinct wines. I came into a case more recently where PAT D is on the warpath – extremely strident and extremely lyrical and sanctimonious in mobilizing opprobrium against my client. I looked up court records for his locale – he and patrician sommelier wife had divorced early ‘00s. As I fight him [not our party opponent – HIM, the opponent’s lawyer PAT D] he continues to sing and ululate to the judge the pitfalls and ravages perpetrated by my client, alluring the judge, and files another motion for sanctions. PAT D brings to mind Voltaire / M. Arouet “One who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” Even the proposed Orders he sends me I must aggressively evaluate and correct, fight over and pitch to the Judge. There is a strong probability we will end up in Appellate Court, and possibly in the State Supreme Court, in this case. And that I will have another case with PAT D, in a decade or two (hoping it’s not more frequent that that).
GREG R – Affable jovial entrepreneur type, adulates men who are wealthy and politically powerful, preferably both. Polite and affected, over-flatters people, makes an elaborate show of puffing up the people around him. Works the schmooze aggressively, tries to make everyone feel great, and really appreciate him.
PAUL S – Lively and irrepressible, jovial and sadistic. Loves to verbally abuse friends and girlfriends in the name of sarcasm. Willing to say the things that other people only think – which irresistibly draws people to him. Always comfortable in his skin and quick on his feet – excepting when his older brother Mark, a brute who regularly beat him when they were growing up, gets into the picture.
3. Name the people Person 1, Person 2, and Person 3, and list their 4 core
traits.
PAT D – THEATRICAL; SANCTIMONIOUS; SELF-IMPORTANT; SAVAGE
GREG R – AFFABLE; SELF-CENTERED; ASS-KISSER; SCHMOOZING/GLAD-HANDING.
PAUL S – DRAMATIC; JOVIAL; SARCASTIC; JEALOUS
4. Interact with them, knowing their traits, and see if they respond in a
way that is consistent with those traits.
PAT D –
PAT AND FIONA ARE CAMPING IN THE NORTHWOODS. FIONA’S TEENAGE SON DEREK IS AN HOUR LATE COMING BACK FROM RAFTING.
PAT
Derek should at least let us know-
FIONA
There’s no cell phone reception up here-
PAT
A responsible, considerate person would not get himself in a position where he is late for dinner-
FIONA
He’s 15.
PAT
What does that mean? My Natalie is twelve, she knows better than to be late for dinner, no matter where she is
FIONA (muttering)
That’s because you beat it into her
PAT
What?
FIONA
Huh?
PAT
What- WHAT did you say just now – about my daughter
FIONA
It’s not worth fighting about
PAT
Anything worth saying is worth fighting about. The way you raise Derek-
FIONA
WHAT?
PAT
No – you’re right. Not worth fighting over
FIONA
No – finish that sentence. What were you saying about my raising – my rearing Derek. About my parenting
PAT
That’s what I mean – it will serve no purpose. It won’t produce Derek and it won’t let us eat any sooner.
The subject is closed-
FIONA
So YOU say. I want to know what, I want to know how you were going to bash my parenting-
PAT
There’s no BASHING. What’s bred in the bone will out of the flesh. You can see the differences in our parenting by the differences between our kids-
FIONA
Don’t compare your kid to mine. Derek couldn’t have drowned, could he?
PAT
There’s no comparison. That’s my point.
FIONA
Derek could be drowned. He could be lost in the woods.
[Pause. PAT snorts.]
I want to be lost in the woods.
PAT D TRAITS
Self-important
Theatrical
Savage
GREG R
GREG AND HIS 15-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HEATHER SIT AT A NICE RESTAURANT TALKING.
GREG
So, what do Nelson’s parents do?
HEATHER
Dad, that’s so boring. Why can’t you ask about him-
GREG
I want to know what his people are like. Are they people we would want to spend time with-
HEATHER
YOU are not spending time with them. I am spending time with him-
GREG
Is it – do you think it’s serious?
HEATHER
I don’t know, Dad-
GREG
Hmmmm… Wouldn’t you want to see if you like his family? I mean, before you spend a lot of time with him?
HEATHER
I only want to know if I like spending time with him-
GREG
So – you wouldn’t care if his dad drove a Ford Fiesta. You love the Mercedes-
HEATHER
No, YOU love the Mercedes. I’ve always only heard how great the Mercedes is.
GREG
AND it is!
HEATHER
Mercedes is the only car brand I would know.
GREG
That’s all you NEED to know. What else would you want to know about cars?
HEATHER
Maybe people who drive cheaper cars are happier about other things-
GREG
I’ve known people who’ve lost money, and had to live with their parents – as adults. No one’s happy when THAT happens.
HEATHER
Who are these people-
GREG
People- people I’ve known. I’ve known all types. Remember when we worked at the soup kitchen on Thanksgiving? Wasn’t that worth it?
HEATHER
Maybe some of those people are Nelson’s family-
GREG
NO way!
HEATHER
What if they are? Still good people, right? We know ALL types of people-
GREG
I didn’t work this hard to provide you your education just for you to hang out in soup kitchens. You can help people without living their lives. You don’t have to be a snob to have high standards. Have money. To live well. Trust me, when you get out in the world, you will not want to spend all your time with poor people.
TRAITS –
Affable
Schmoozer/Glad-Hander
Self-Centered
Pontificating
PAUL S
PAUL AND IRMA DISCUSS WHETHER THEY WILL MOVE TO A DIFFERENT CITY.
IRMA
We need to shake up our lives. We’re just stagnating here. We see plays movies and concerts. Our lives never change.
PAUL
What needs to change? Plays movies and concerts. We have everything we need here!
IRMA
We could do all those things in New York City. I could do dresses for the Bergdorf women, for the Vogue editors-
PAUL
Right, Anna Winter would not THINK of going to a fish bowl without getting you to make her a new dress.
IRMA
If we were in New York, that might be the case-
PAUL
Because you make a couple sequined dresses for a local cabaret floozy you’re now Karl Lagerfeld?
IRMA
Greta’s not a ‘local cabaret floozy,’ Holy Fuck you’re an ass.
PAUL
That’s why you love me-
IRMA
We’ll never know what life we’d have in another place unless we live it-
PAUL
Irma, that’s a fantasy, that’s what travel junkies, wanderers and malcontents say. Everything is good. Things are great here. We love this apartment.
IRMA
Our lives will not change until we die-
PAUL
Our lives haven’t changed in the last 30 years. Why should they change in the next 30?
IRMA
We don’t have another 30 years. My goals, my ideas aren’t important?
PAUL
Why do we have to push your goals and ideas now? Why does anything have to change?
IRMA
Because there are two of us in this? Because this is what I want?
PAUL
WE – I – I never had to worry about what you wanted before. Don’t you think it’s late in the day to bring all this up now? How are we supposed to change?
IRMA
How do we live if we don’t change?
PAUL
That’s the silliest – what the Hell do you think is in New York that we can’t find here, anyhow?
Jovial
Dramatic
Sarcastic
Contented
5. Post the results of your testing and how their traits stayed the same
or changed.
The core traits stayed the same – sometimes they appeared subtly. At times they adapted tactics to suit the immediacy of the argument or issue at hand.
8. Once you’ve completed steps 1 – 7, go back to your current script and
find ways to elevate the quality of your lead characters with what you’ve
learned during this assignment. Most likely, you’ll discover new and more
interesting traits for some of those characters and those will translate
into more interesting actions and dialogue.
Rollie can be more sarcastic, or at least sardonic.
Iris can be more ambitious, vicious and acquisitive.
Argon can be more controlling, vengeful when crossed or challenged.
-
MICHAEL GRECO’S HORROR SITUATION TRACK [LESSON 5]
WILDTA is that the process of brainstorming horror situations, as well as the response and overcome, makes the story feel more organic, “lived-in” and “fleshed-out” (literally AND figuratively!).
20-50 Horror Situations
1. Walking into ante-room of boathouse, a spring-gun trap is triggered, shooting a bullet into the chest or neck of the unsuspecting entrant.
A bear trap clamps the leg of the entrant into the hull of the boat.
Fish netting with weights suddenly drops over entrant into boathouse.
On walking on a certain board on the pier, a rope suddenly clotheslines around the leg of the person, dragging him into the water and down to river bed where machine cranking the rope has a pulley.
5. Traps in forest spring a rope around a person’s lower leg and hang them from a tree in a second of time.
Life-vest in boat cinches around the person, and keeps squeezing/inflating Boa Constrictor-like until the person’s torso is crushed.
Shadow of a Large Man with face shrouded by hood or mask crunches through woods to get you, bind you & throw you in hull of boat.
Seductive creepy woman appears in boathouse, entices you to backroom boudoir, then shackles you to bed frame, then leaves locking all doors and windows behind her.
Closet/back room floor opens into dark shaft at least 20’ below floor surface – once you fall down it, you are unable to return or climb out of it without help.
10. Quicksand trap in middle of garden behind boathouse, ringed by a dense thicket of poison sumac.
Drugged {rufied} by unwittingly consuming narcotic in a soda or alcoholic beverage, so that you wake up feeling completely immobilized, powerless to escape or defend yourself.
Chased around desolate urban streets at night by a menacing goon or gang of goons, wielding knives or baseball bats.
Thrown in a den of hungry Rottweilers, grizzly bears, lions.
Buried up to neck in sand, forced to watch your friend raped humiliated or executed.
15. Belted down to a bed where an axe swings over you , modulated by a metronome, so you can see axe swinging closer and closer to your genitalia over which the axe apparatus has been mounted.
Cock and balls in a torture winch, as you call out the safe word Elvira ignores it – you realize she will do whatever SHE wants with your genitals.
Chained at the wrists and ankles to a heavy wood plank with a break in the middle, a shrouded Beast cranks the two ends apart with a large cranking apparatus – the stretcher rack.
Dropped into the middle of the top of a full grain silo, you struggle to get to the edge or reach the ceiling for something to hang onto, constantly losing your footing in the ever-shifting and sifting grains, until you sink under.
Strapped naked to a post, with a bonfire at your feet, as Wiccan and Pagan stregas stoke and build the fire, dancing naked around you, insensible to your plight, your pleas, your cries.
20. Locked in a dull wood locker, bolted tight all around, you barely have room to move your hands over your head, and no tools or aplomb to work your way out of it. You are left there overnight.
In a box below the ground, buried alive, supine and unable to push yur way out of it.
Shut in a small shipping crate where you cannot stand up or stretch, your knees are pinned up against your chest, you try to breathe, stretch and push your way out.
Locked neck and shoulders in a stockade. No one is allowed to help you, or even console you.
Stuck in the middle of a dense forest, lost. You cannot find the trail, or even any type of clearing. You hear sounds of people or animals around you, pursuing you.
25. Locked in the trunk of a car, being driven at a high rate of speed, recklessly.
Chased by the old man, wielding an axe – he knows the grounds and you don’t – you must keep ahead of him, yet he is gaining on you. You are unarmed.
Locked up in a cage or cell in the back of the Boathouse.
Locked in a drowning pool/locked secured drowning tank.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established
CELESTE RUNNING THROUGH WOODS PANTING, trips on log on ground, stumbles, gets up keeps running. HIRAM Hotly Pursues, says “Young Child, WHERE ARE YOU GOING – STOP AND TALK TO ME.” CELESTE keeps going KEEPS GOING, CELESTE Stumbles and Trips again, falls to ground.
HIRAM’S Effort at Soothing Words sounds anything BUT Soothing. Really Just Old.
HIRAM mentions CELESTE’S relationship with DAUGHTER CORDELIA. HIRAM makes clear he wants to Fuck CELESTE, but he is really Creepy as he talks about it.
Connect with the characters
CORDELIA Trying To Text CELESTE – NO ANSWER. CELESTE had been working in TALLEY’S Office, so CORDELIA calls HIRAM. He has not been seen all day.
CATHERINE THE MISTRESS calls CORDELIA looking for CELESTE AND HIRAM. Something is Connected With BOTH MISSING.
CATHERINE says it reminds her of Another Girl in town who disappeared 10 Years Ago, NORA WATT. She was vibrant, but sweet, too trusting. HIRAM claimed he was devastated by her disappearance, but would never talk to her FIANCE’ WILSON BERRIOT about it. Seemed resentful, even Jealous, of WILSON’S closeness to NORA, and of her Love for him.
WHITAKER THE ELDEST SON Alerted To HIRAM’S Disappearance, as well as CELESTE’S. WHITAKER calm, thinks through possible scenarios.
BRADEN, THE REBEL AND PROVOCATEUR, insists that all of HIRAM’S Secrets and a good share of his Skeletons are cached in the BOATHOUSE. Seconds could be ticking out on CELESTE’S LIFE while the BROTHERS and SISTERS Wring Their Hands Trying To Figure Out What To Do.
The characters are warned not to do
it.CORDELIA Resists Exploring The BOATHOUSE, says she’s always felt trouble there – Nothing Good can come of going into the BOATHOUSE.
Denial of Horror
BRADEN, ENDORA THE SECOND MISTRESS and PERSONAL VALET TARRYTON scoff at the idea of Avoiding the BOATHOUSE because of A Bad Feeling. PIT STEWART TO POLITICAL EEL agrees they should visit to find clues [He’s Looking For HIRAM’S Money].
Safety taken away
BRADEN shames NORMAN THE PROPERTY MANAGER into checking out the Boathouse, looking for CELESTE, HIRAM and “ANYTHING ELSE HE CAN FIND.” NORMAN is attacked by a force so ominous he nearly has a heart attack, sneaks away before he enters Boathouse.
Monster:
The nature of the beast.NORMAN runs away from Boathouse, sees HIRAM’S Boat – Looks around, figures it cannot be that dangerous, boards Boat. Stunned that another person is below deck, “HIRAM IS THAT YOU?” No satisfactory response – NORMAN steps onto Boat, hears a primal yell, turns to see that HIRAM looms above him, collapses into Boat, screams, massive heart attack as HIRAM’S shadow towers over him.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
BRADEN entices NEIL to go with him into the Boathouse. They get ENDORA and PIT STEWART THE SLEAZY POLITICIAN to go along. BRADEN remains outside, claiming to serve as “LOOKOUT.” PIT is taken, ENDORA & NEIL manage to get away.
Fish netting with weights suddenly drops over PIT in boathouse.
PIT fights, screams, flails against the fish netting, begs – especially NEIL – to come back for him.
NEIL goes back to boathouse, PIT’s screams ebb, looks in all windows and sees nothing. Hears door slam in and a dark figure moves away from boathouse carrying body in fish netting. NEIL chases it, it disappears into woods, NEIL stomps after it, catches leg in a bear trap. NEIL sticks a stick into jaws of trap to pry it apart, free his leg. The sounds of the figure with PIT’s body are no longer audible.
One of us killed
NORMAN’S AND PIT’S DEAD BODIES ARE FOUND ALONG THE RIVER BANK.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer
NEIL and BRADEN argue over whether to engage the townies. BRADEN prevails, insists they set a trap for Hiram, using Strother Wilhelm the fast-food franchisor as bait. HIRAM’s ghost figure catches on, turning their terror to taking down both STROTHER & BRADEN.
NEIL gets away and runs into forest, hears sounds of people or animals around him, pursuing him. NEIL sees he is Stuck in the middle of a dense forest, lost. NEIL cannot find the trail, or even any type of clearing. NEIL pushes and fights through forest away from the sounds grunts and thrashing bushes. NEIL breaks out to riverfront and swims for it, manages to get to a different pier on opposite side of river. Primal scream heard across river from Beast or Shadow.
Terrorized –
STROTHER and BRADEN try to joust and puff and regain their composure – yet it is obvious they are seriously rattled. Celeste returns to town in a disheveled state, barely able to speak coherently, and unable to recount any of the events that she experienced during her disappearance. But she does regularly repeat murmurings to the effect of “No, Mister Talley, please Sir, No…”
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death
NEIL and CORDELIA consult CATHERINE – CATHERINE enlists LIZETTE and some of the Men in town who were not in HIRAM’s stranglehold of influence. The police refuse to help. The group goes to the Boat-House with well-armed.
Hysteria
WHITAKER and VALERIA excoriate the police for not accompanying Neil and Cordelia to the Boat-House when asked – they insist that all will be killed. Angry recriminations salvo back and forth in the local government offices and among the business leaders dependent on Talley’s commerce and resources, as well as among the family and friends.
The thrilling escape from death
TALLEY appears bigger than ever, in a preternatural, monster-like form. He thrashes the people about until someone shoots him in the neck, knocking him to the floor of the dock.
Death returns to take one or more.
[REVISE THIS – CORDELIA MUST TRY TO ESCAPE BY GETTING ON THE BOAT, SEEING A FIGURE ON DECK UNMOORING IT, WEARING A DOCKWORKER WINDBREAKER. SHE CALLS TO HIM AS HE LAUNCHES BOAT, HE GIVES HER THUMBS-UP AS HE GOES DOWN BELOW. AS CORDELIA FOLLOWS HIM THE BOAT IS MOVING BUT BELOW DECK IS QUIET. SHE APPROACHES STAIRCASE, THEN RECOILS AS TALLEY is revealed, coming up at her having been revived. NEIL is waiting at Suicide Bridge, rappels down and jumps onto boat as CORDELIA passes under. NEIL faces TALLEY, using handle end of pitchfork to force TALLEY to bob weave and dance. NEIL flips the pitchfork around and drives it into TALLEY’s heart, striking the definitive blow. Until the sequel….
[orig. climax] CORDELIA, the last person who leaves the Boathouse after going through it looking for all the critical papers, valuables and collectibles, steps onto the dock. CORDELIA ducks and weaves to avoid his flailing at her, and she screams. NEIL hears her, rushes back to her, and drives a pitchfork into TALLEY‘s heart.
Resolution
The family makes allocations for CATHERINE and ENDORA, LIZETTE acknowledging that their philandering with TALLEY made her life easier. NEIL and CORDELIA create a charitable trust out of TALLEY’S inheritances to them. They also transfer TALLEY’S ongoing business empire to employee ownership.
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Michael Greco Puts Essence to Work
[Creative Mastery 2] Lesson 2: Discovering the Essence
What I learned is that getting to the essence of a scene clarifies whether the scene advances, derails or detours from the story being told.
Script I choose: Shots Fired.
Scene 1 Location: Act I middle Scene 1-7 INT. BEDROOM ROLLIE & IRIS’ HOME. NIGHT.
Logline: Rollie and Iris pitch their respective agendas, objectives.
Essence I’ve discovered: Rollie knows exactly who he is as a cop, even if he appears bumbling and underconfident.
New Logline: Rollie sets clear boundaries as to what he will and won’t do as a cop, and in testing and marketing the Shots-Fired technology.
Scene 2 Location: End of Act 1 – Scene 1-13 INT. NEIGHBORHOOD COP BAR. NIGHT.
Logline: Sal and Rollie at the bar probing each other.
Essence I’ve discovered: Sal is trying to get Rollie to play along with kinky instincts of the core officers – and the Lieutenant; Rollie wants to find out what kinky business Sal is concealing from him.
New Logline: Rollie goes after Sal to find out the furtive business Sal is [and other officers are] involved in; Sal fights back hard.
Scene 3 Location: Beginning of Act 2. Scene 2-1 EXT. JOGGING PATH. DAY.
Logline: Rollie and Iris talk at cross-purposes.
Essence I’ve discovered: Rollie recognizes the potential value of the Shots Fired Technology.
New Logline: Rollie commits to test the Shots Fired technology, with an eye to ultimately marketing the same.
Scene 4 Location: Act 2 near midpoint. Scene 2-7. INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR. NIGHT.
Logline: Rollie and Campillo joust over the questionable acts and rumors in the station.
Essence I’ve discovered: Rollie persists in inquiring of Campillo why Sal is making unscheduled stops on the beat which he will not call in to dispatcher.
New Logline: Rollie pursues Campillo to find out what he knows about Sal’s secret stops at apparent organized crime hotspots and intentional violations of procedures.
Scene 5 Location: Mid-point, end of Act 2. Scene 2-10. EXT. STREET. EARLY EVENING.
Logline: Sal gets sidetracked at stop of gang members engaged in apparent narcotics sale, endangering Rollie and allowing the gang to escape.
Essence I’ve discovered: Sal’s misjudgment and abandonment of crime investigation scene threatens, but does not derail, Rollie’s adherence to procedure.
New Logline: Sal’s dereliction compromises Rollie’s crime scene investigation and enables narcotics gang to evade apprehension.
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Hello Everyone!
My name is Michael Greco. I have written one full-length feature screenplay; I am close to completing a second. I also have written short stage-plays, two of which have been produced / staged in non-equity venues.
I really like the structure of the ScreenwritingU classes – the idea of Doubling The Quality of my writing is, of course, compelling to me.
I think everything is interesting about me – I speak French fluently and Spanish somewhat masterfully, in addition to English. Trying to add German and Italian….but writing comes first, English is the language of choice for that. For now!
I am excited to be taking this journey with everyone.
Cheers, Happy Writing!
Michael
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Michael Greco
I agree to the terms of this Release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
Member
July 12, 2021 at 2:07 am
Name: Don Thompson
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to. (text follows):
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
AGREED / /S/ Michael Greco
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Michael Greco Finds the Essence (Creative Mastery Lesson 1 7.11.2021)
What I learned is that the layers of a well-crafted screenplay yield substantial riches, while providing a compelling through-line for the story.
Script I choose: Chinatown, by Robert Towne (1974).
Scene 1 Location: Walsh’s and Duffy’s Office
Logline: A poised middle-aged lady posing as Mrs. Evelyn Mulwray, wife of Water Commissioner Hollis Mulwray, engages Gittes to cull evidence of Mulwray’s purported extra-marital philandering.
Essence: Jake Gittes revealed as attentive and charming, especially to women – and also as being over-impressed by wealth and high-powered people; opportunistic-to-greedy. The revelation of the ruse by publishing the affair in the major L.A. newspaper, which Gittes did not expect at all, will reveal him to be somewhat gullible, under-vigilant, too trusting.Scene 2 Location: Mrs. Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Mrs. Mulwray entertains Gittes, agrees to summarily drop the defamation lawsuit she had filed against Gittes, and resists discussing the targeting of Mulwray further.
Essence: Gittes sees that Mrs. Mulwray does not trust him, and is unlikely to let him know all the facts about her family and the smear campaign against Hollis Mulwray.Scene 3 Location: Adelaide Drive Bungalow where Evelyn Mulwray’s daughter Katherine is being kept.
Logline: Gittes strikes violently Evelyn Mulwray several times, forcing her admission that her daughter is the product of Noah Cross’ rape of Evelyn Mulwray.
Essence: Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.Scene 4 Location: Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Noah Cross confronted by Gittes, who accuses him of murdering Mulwray in the salt-water pond, and of alienating his daughter and grand-daughter. Cross brushes off Gittes and has his henchman seize the bi-focal eyeglasses from him, demonstrating his grandeur and power.
Essence: Gittes sees a whole new level of power-brokering and Hobbesian manipulation/ domination; realizes he is up against overwhelming forces when he asks Cross what good would another $10M do Cross, “[what would it buy that you don’t already have?]” to which Cross responds, “The Future, Mr. Gittes. The Future.”Scene 5 Location: Los Angeles street in Chinatown.
Logline: As Evelyn Mulwray drives away with her daughter, Noah Cross accosts them to stop them. Gittes has Evelyn flee with Katherine in Duffy’s car, as Escobar is trying to arrest Evelyn for brandishing a gun. A uniformed police officer on the scene shoots at fleeing Evelyn in the car, striking Evelyn in the head with the bullet shooting through her eye, to the horror of her screaming daughter.
Essence: Gittes feels utterly helpless against Cross and his power empire – he cannot even challenge Cross, who has prevented Evelyn from being able to reveal the rape and incest and is now trying to ‘console’ his hysterical daughter/granddaughter. Gittes’ partner Walsh signals their helplessness, as he can only pull Gittes away saying “Forget it, Jake – it’s Chinatown.”My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is
the essence).SCENE 3 – Bungalow where Evelyn is keeping her daughter Katherine.
EXT. BUNGALOW-HOUSE – ADELAIDE DRIVE
Gittes pulls up in Mulwray’s Buick. He hurries to the front door, pounds on it. The Chinese servant answers the door.
CHINESE SERVANT You wait.
GITTES (short sentence in Chinese) You wait.
Gittes pushes past him. Evelyn, looking a little worn but glad to see him hurries to the door. She takes Gittes’ arm.
EVELYN How are you? I was calling you.
She looks at him, searching his face.
GITTES — Yeah?
They move into the living room. Gittes is looking around it.
EVELYN Did you get some sleep?
GITTES Sure.
EVELYN Did you have lunch? Kyo will fix you something –
GITTES (abruptly) — where’s the girl?
EVELYN Upstairs. Why?
GITTES I want to see her.
EVELYN …she’s having a bath now… why do you want to see her?
Gittes continues to look around. He sees clothes laid out for packing in a bedroom off the living room.
GITTES Going somewhere?
EVELYN Yes, we’ve got a 4:30 train to catch. Why?
Gittes doesn’t answer. He goes to the phone and dials.
GITTES J. J. Gittes for Lieutenant Escobar.
EVELYN What are you doing? What’s wrong? I told you we’ve got a 4:30 –
GITTES (cutting her off) You’re going to miss your train!
(then, into phone)
Lou, meet me at 1412 Adelaide it’s above Santa Monica Canyon… yeah, soon as you can.
EVELYN What did you do that for?
GITTES (a moment, then) You know any good criminal lawyers?
EVELYN (puzzled) — no…
GITTES Don’t worry — I can recommend a couple. They’re expensive but you can afford it.
EVELYN (evenly but with great anger) What the hell is this all about?
Gittes looks at her — then takes the handkerchief out Of his breast pocket — unfolds it on a coffee table, revealing the bifocal glasses, one lens still intact. Evelyn stares dumbly at them.
GITTES I found these in your backyard — in your fish pond. They belonged to your husband, didn’t they?… didn’t they?
EVELYN I don’t know. I mean yes, probably.
GITTES — yes positively. That’s where he was drowned…
EVELYN What are you saying? GITTES There’s no time for you to be shocked by the truth, Mrs. Mulwray. The coroner’s report proves he was killed in salt water. Just take my word for it. Now I want to know how it happened and why. I want to know before Escobar gets here because I want to hang onto my license.
EVELYN — I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is the most insane… the craziest thing I ever…
Gittes has been in a state of near frenzy himself. gets up, shakes her.
GITTES Stop it! I’ll make it easy. –You were jealous, you fought, he fell, hit his head — it was an accident — but his girl is a witness. You’ve had to pay her off. You don’t have the stomach to harm her, but you’ve got the money to shut her up. Yes or no?
EVELYN … no…
GITTES Who is she? And don’t give me that crap about it being your sister. You don’t have a sister.
Evelyn is trembling.
EVELYN I’ll tell you the truth…
Gittes smiles.
GITTES That’s good. Now what’s her name?
EVELYN — Katherine.
GITTES Katherine?… Katherine who?
EVELYN — she’s my daughter.
Gittes stares at her. He’s been charged with anger and when Evelyn says this it explodes. He hits her full in the face. Evelyn stares back at him. The blow has forced tears from her eyes, but she makes no move, not even to defend herself.
GITTES I said the truth!
EVELYN — she’s my sister –
Gittes slaps her again.
EVELYN (continuing) — she’s my daughter.
Gittes slaps her again.
EVELYN (continuing) — my sister.
He hits her again.
EVELYN (continuing) My daughter, my sister –
He belts her finally, knocking her into a cheap Chinese vase which shatters and she collapses on the sofa, sobbing.
GITTES I said I want the truth.
EVELYN (almost screaming it) She’s my sister and my daughter!
Kyo comes running down the stairs.
EVELYN (continuing; in Chinese) For God’s sake, Kyo, keep her upstairs, go back!
Kyo turns after staring at Gittes for a moment then goes back upstairs.
EVELYN (continuing) — my father and I, understand, or is it too tough for you?
Gittes doesn’t answer.
EVELYN (continuing) … he had a breakdown… the dam broke… my mother died… he became a little boy… I was fifteen… he’d ask me what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear!… It happened… then I ran away…
GITTES to Mexico…
She nods.
EVELYN Hollis came and took… care of me… after she was born… he said… he took care of her… I couldn’t see her… I wanted to but I couldn’t… I just want to see her once in a while… take care of her… that’s all… but I don’t want her to know… I don’t want her to know…
GITTES … so that’s why you hate him…
Evelyn looks slowly up at Gittes.
EVELYN — no… for turning his back on me after it happened! He couldn’t face it… (weeping) I hate him.
Gittes suddenly feels the need to loosen his tie.
GITTES — yeah… where are you taking her now?
EVELYN Back to Mexico.
GITTES You can’t go by train. Escobar’ll be looking for you everywhere.
EVELYN How about a plane?
GITTES That’s worse… Just get out of here — walk out, leave everything.
EVELYN I have to go home and get my things –
GITTES — I’ll take care of it.
EVELYN Where can we go?
GITTES …where does Kyo live?
EVELYN — with us.
GITTES On his day off. Get the exact address.
EVELYN — okay…
She stops suddenly.
EVELYN Those didn’t belong to Hollis.
For a moment Gittes doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Then he follows her gaze to the glasses lying on his handkerchief.
GITTES How do you know?
EVELYN He didn’t wear bifocals.
Gittes picks up the glasses, stares at the lens, is momentarily lost in them. EVELYN from the stairs. She has her arm around Katherine.
EVELYN Say hello to Mr. Gittes, sweetheart.
KATHERINE (from the stairs) Hello.
GITTES rises a little shakily from the arm of the sofa. GITTES Hello. With her arm around the girl, talking in Spanish, Evelyn hurries her toward the bedroom. In a moment she re-emerges.
EVELYN (calling down) — he lives at 1712 Alameda… do you know where that is?
REACTION – GITTES He nods slowly.
GITTES — sure. It’s Chinatown.
As mentioned above, Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.
The scene is especially powerful and pivotal in the movie because at the beginning of the scene Gittes thinks Evelyn was involved in murdering Hollis Mulwray. By the end of the scene he has a completely different understanding of Evelyn’s relationship to Hollis, to Katherine, and to Cross. And Evelyn negates Gittes’ evidence that he found Hollis’ eyeglasses in the salt water pond where he believes Hollis was murdered, noting that Hollis did not wear bifocals.
Finally, the resolution of the scene has Evelyn, Katherine and Gittes forced to go to Chinatown, bringing up Gittes’ own tortured past.
—————————–
Cheers,
Michael Greco
[I hope I am in the right place!]
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Michael Greco Finds the Essence (Creative Mastery course – Lesson 1 7.11.2021)
What I learned is that the layers of a well-crafted screenplay yield substantial riches, while providing a compelling through-line for the story.
Script I choose: Chinatown, by Robert Towne (1974).
Scene 1 Location: Walsh’s and Duffy’s Office
Logline: A poised middle-aged lady posing as Mrs. Evelyn Mulwray, wife of Water Commissioner Hollis Mulwray, engages Gittes to cull evidence of Mulwray’s purported extra-marital philandering.
Essence: Jake Gittes revealed as attentive and charming, especially to women – and also as being over-impressed by wealth and high-powered people; opportunistic-to-greedy. The revelation of the ruse by publishing the affair in the major L.A. newspaper, which Gittes did not expect at all, will reveal him to be somewhat gullible, under-vigilant, too trusting.Scene 2 Location: Mrs. Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Mrs. Mulwray entertains Gittes, agrees to summarily drop the defamation lawsuit she had filed against Gittes, and resists discussing the targeting of Mulwray further.
Essence: Gittes sees that Mrs. Mulwray does not trust him, and is unlikely to let him know all the facts about her family and the smear campaign against Hollis Mulwray.Scene 3 Location: Adelaide Drive Bungalow where Evelyn Mulwray’s daughter Katherine is being kept.
Logline: Gittes strikes violently Evelyn Mulwray several times, forcing her admission that her daughter is the product of Noah Cross’ rape of Evelyn Mulwray.
Essence: Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.Scene 4 Location: Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Noah Cross confronted by Gittes, who accuses him of murdering Mulwray in the salt-water pond, and of alienating his daughter and grand-daughter. Cross brushes off Gittes and has his henchman seize the bi-focal eyeglasses from him, demonstrating his grandeur and power.
Essence: Gittes sees a whole new level of power-brokering and Hobbesian manipulation/ domination; realizes he is up against overwhelming forces when he asks Cross what good would another $10M do Cross, “[what would it buy that you don’t already have?]” to which Cross responds, “The Future, Mr. Gittes. The Future.”Scene 5 Location: Los Angeles street in Chinatown.
Logline: As Evelyn Mulwray drives away with her daughter, Noah Cross accosts them to stop them. Gittes has Evelyn flee with Katherine in Duffy’s car, as Escobar is trying to arrest Evelyn for brandishing a gun. A uniformed police officer on the scene shoots at fleeing Evelyn in the car, striking Evelyn in the head with the bullet shooting through her eye, to the horror of her screaming daughter.
Essence: Gittes feels utterly helpless against Cross and his power empire – he cannot even challenge Cross, who has prevented Evelyn from being able to reveal the rape and incest and is now trying to ‘console’ his hysterical daughter/granddaughter. Gittes’ partner Walsh signals their helplessness, as he can only pull Gittes away saying “Forget it, Jake – it’s Chinatown.”My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is
the essence).SCENE 3 – Bungalow where Evelyn is keeping her daughter Katherine.
EXT. BUNGALOW-HOUSE – ADELAIDE DRIVE
Gittes pulls up in Mulwray’s Buick. He hurries to the front door, pounds on it. The Chinese servant answers the door.
CHINESE SERVANT You wait.
GITTES (short sentence in Chinese) You wait.
Gittes pushes past him. Evelyn, looking a little worn but glad to see him hurries to the door. She takes Gittes’ arm.
EVELYN How are you? I was calling you.
She looks at him, searching his face.
GITTES — Yeah?
They move into the living room. Gittes is looking around it.
EVELYN Did you get some sleep?
GITTES Sure.
EVELYN Did you have lunch? Kyo will fix you something –
GITTES (abruptly) — where’s the girl?
EVELYN Upstairs. Why?
GITTES I want to see her.
EVELYN …she’s having a bath now… why do you want to see her?
Gittes continues to look around. He sees clothes laid out for packing in a bedroom off the living room.
GITTES Going somewhere?
EVELYN Yes, we’ve got a 4:30 train to catch. Why?
Gittes doesn’t answer. He goes to the phone and dials.
GITTES J. J. Gittes for Lieutenant Escobar.
EVELYN What are you doing? What’s wrong? I told you we’ve got a 4:30 –
GITTES (cutting her off) You’re going to miss your train!
(then, into phone)
Lou, meet me at 1412 Adelaide it’s above Santa Monica Canyon… yeah, soon as you can.
EVELYN What did you do that for?
GITTES (a moment, then) You know any good criminal lawyers?
EVELYN (puzzled) — no…
GITTES Don’t worry — I can recommend a couple. They’re expensive but you can afford it.
EVELYN (evenly but with great anger) What the hell is this all about?
Gittes looks at her — then takes the handkerchief out Of his breast pocket — unfolds it on a coffee table, revealing the bifocal glasses, one lens still intact. Evelyn stares dumbly at them.
GITTES I found these in your backyard — in your fish pond. They belonged to your husband, didn’t they?… didn’t they?
EVELYN I don’t know. I mean yes, probably.
GITTES — yes positively. That’s where he was drowned…
EVELYN What are you saying? GITTES There’s no time for you to be shocked by the truth, Mrs. Mulwray. The coroner’s report proves he was killed in salt water. Just take my word for it. Now I want to know how it happened and why. I want to know before Escobar gets here because I want to hang onto my license.
EVELYN — I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is the most insane… the craziest thing I ever…
Gittes has been in a state of near frenzy himself. gets up, shakes her.
GITTES Stop it! I’ll make it easy. –You were jealous, you fought, he fell, hit his head — it was an accident — but his girl is a witness. You’ve had to pay her off. You don’t have the stomach to harm her, but you’ve got the money to shut her up. Yes or no?
EVELYN … no…
GITTES Who is she? And don’t give me that crap about it being your sister. You don’t have a sister.
Evelyn is trembling.
EVELYN I’ll tell you the truth…
Gittes smiles.
GITTES That’s good. Now what’s her name?
EVELYN — Katherine.
GITTES Katherine?… Katherine who?
EVELYN — she’s my daughter.
Gittes stares at her. He’s been charged with anger and when Evelyn says this it explodes. He hits her full in the face. Evelyn stares back at him. The blow has forced tears from her eyes, but she makes no move, not even to defend herself.
GITTES I said the truth!
EVELYN — she’s my sister –
Gittes slaps her again.
EVELYN (continuing) — she’s my daughter.
Gittes slaps her again.
EVELYN (continuing) — my sister.
He hits her again.
EVELYN (continuing) My daughter, my sister –
He belts her finally, knocking her into a cheap Chinese vase which shatters and she collapses on the sofa, sobbing.
GITTES I said I want the truth.
EVELYN (almost screaming it) She’s my sister and my daughter!
Kyo comes running down the stairs.
EVELYN (continuing; in Chinese) For God’s sake, Kyo, keep her upstairs, go back!
Kyo turns after staring at Gittes for a moment then goes back upstairs.
EVELYN (continuing) — my father and I, understand, or is it too tough for you?
Gittes doesn’t answer.
EVELYN (continuing) … he had a breakdown… the dam broke… my mother died… he became a little boy… I was fifteen… he’d ask me what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear!… It happened… then I ran away…
GITTES to Mexico…
She nods.
EVELYN Hollis came and took… care of me… after she was born… he said… he took care of her… I couldn’t see her… I wanted to but I couldn’t… I just want to see her once in a while… take care of her… that’s all… but I don’t want her to know… I don’t want her to know…
GITTES … so that’s why you hate him…
Evelyn looks slowly up at Gittes.
EVELYN — no… for turning his back on me after it happened! He couldn’t face it… (weeping) I hate him.
Gittes suddenly feels the need to loosen his tie.
GITTES — yeah… where are you taking her now?
EVELYN Back to Mexico.
GITTES You can’t go by train. Escobar’ll be looking for you everywhere.
EVELYN How about a plane?
GITTES That’s worse… Just get out of here — walk out, leave everything.
EVELYN I have to go home and get my things –
GITTES — I’ll take care of it.
EVELYN Where can we go?
GITTES …where does Kyo live?
EVELYN — with us.
GITTES On his day off. Get the exact address.
EVELYN — okay…
She stops suddenly.
EVELYN Those didn’t belong to Hollis.
For a moment Gittes doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Then he follows her gaze to the glasses lying on his handkerchief.
GITTES How do you know?
EVELYN He didn’t wear bifocals.
Gittes picks up the glasses, stares at the lens, is momentarily lost in them. EVELYN from the stairs. She has her arm around Katherine.
EVELYN Say hello to Mr. Gittes, sweetheart.
KATHERINE (from the stairs) Hello.
GITTES rises a little shakily from the arm of the sofa. GITTES Hello. With her arm around the girl, talking in Spanish, Evelyn hurries her toward the bedroom. In a moment she re-emerges.
EVELYN (calling down) — he lives at 1712 Alameda… do you know where that is?
REACTION – GITTES He nods slowly.
GITTES — sure. It’s Chinatown.
As mentioned above, Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.
The scene is especially powerful and pivotal in the movie because at the beginning of the scene Gittes thinks Evelyn was involved in murdering Hollis Mulwray. By the end of the scene he has a completely different understanding of Evelyn’s relationship to Hollis, to Katherine, and to Cross. And Evelyn negates Gittes’ evidence that he found Hollis’ eyeglasses in the salt water pond where he believes Hollis was murdered, noting that Hollis did not wear bifocals.
Finally, the resolution of the scene has Evelyn, Katherine and Gittes forced to go to Chinatown, bringing up Gittes’ own tortured past.
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MICHAEL’S HORROR PLOT [LESSON 4]
WILDTA is that the process of writing out the Plot creates a Forest-Level (ref. cliché ‘See the Forest in the Trees’] view, that more fluidly inspires ideas for setups and payoffs, through-lines and foreshadowing.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established
CELESTE RUNNING THROUGH WOODS PANTING, trips on log on ground, stumbles, gets up keeps running. HIRAM Hotly Pursues, says “Young Child, WHERE ARE YOU GOING – STOP AND TALK TO ME.” CELESTE keeps going KEEPS GOING, CELESTE Stumbles and Trips again, falls to ground.
HIRAM’S Effort at Soothing Words sounds anything BUT Soothing. Really Just Old.
HIRAM mentions CELESTE’S relationship with DAUGHTER CORDELIA. HIRAM makes clear he wants to fuck CELESTE; he is really Creepy as he talks about it.
Connect with the characters
CORDELIA Trying To Text CELESTE – NO ANSWER. CELESTE had been working in TALLEY’S Office, so CORDELIA calls HIRAM. He has not been seen all day.
CATHERINE THE MISTRESS calls CORDELIA looking for CELESTE AND HIRAM. Something is Connected With BOTH MISSING.
CATHERINE says it reminds her of Another Girl in town who disappeared 10 Years Ago, NORA WATT. She was vibrant, but sweet, too trusting. HIRAM claimed he was devastated by her disappearance, but would never talk to her FIANCE’ WILSON BERRIOT about it. Seemed resentful, even Jealous, of WILSON’S closeness to NORA, and of her Love for him.
WHITAKER THE ELDEST SON Alerted To HIRAM’S Disappearance, as well as CELESTE’S. WHITAKER calm, thinks through possible scenarios.
BRADEN, THE REBEL AND PROVOCATEUR, insists that all of HIRAM’S Secrets and a good share of his Skeletons are cached in the BOATHOUSE. Seconds could be ticking out on CELESTE’S LIFE while the BROTHERS and SISTERS Wring Their Hands Trying To Figure Out What To Do.
The characters are warned not to do
it.CORDELIA Resists Exploring The BOATHOUSE, says she’s always felt trouble there – Nothing Good can come of going into the BOATHOUSE.
Denial of Horror
BRADEN, ENDORA THE SECOND MISTRESS and PERSONAL VALET TARRYTON scoff at the idea of Avoiding the BOATHOUSE because of A Bad Feeling. PIT STEWART TO POLITICAL EEL agrees they should visit to find clues [He’s Looking For HIRAM’S Money].
Safety taken away
BRADEN shames NORMAN THE PROPERTY MANAGER into checking out the Boathouse, looking for CELESTE, HIRAM and “ANYTHING ELSE HE CAN FIND.” NORMAN is attacked by a force so ominous he nearly has a heart attack, sneaks away before he enters Boathouse.
Monster:
The nature of the beast.NORMAN runs away from Boathouse, sees HIRAM’S Boat – Looks around, figures it cannot be that dangerous, boards Boat. Stunned that another person is below deck, “HIRAM IS THAT YOU?” No satisfactory response – NORMAN steps onto Boat, hears a primal yell, turns to see that HIRAM looms above him, collapses into Boat, screams, massive heart attack as HIRAM’S shadow towers over him.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
BRADEN entices NEIL to go with him into the Boathouse. They get ENDORA and PIT STEWART THE SLEAZY POLITICIAN to go along. BRADEN remains outside, claiming to serve as “LOOKOUT.” PIT is taken, ENDORA & NEIL manage to get away.
One of us killed
NORMAN’S AND PIT’S DEAD BODIES ARE FOUND ALONG THE RIVER BANK.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we
thought!Full pursuit by the killer
NEIL and BRADEN argue over whether to engage the townies. BRADEN prevails, insists they set a trap for Hiram, using Strother Wilhelm the fast-food franchisor as bait. HIRAM’s ghost figure catches on, turning her terror to taking down both STROTHER & BRADEN.
Terrorized –
STROTHER and BRADEN try to joust and puff and regain their composure – yet it is obvious they are seriously rattled. Celeste returns to town in a disheveled state, barely able to speak coherently, and unable to recount any of the events that she experienced during her disappearance. But she does regularly repeat murmurings to the effect of “No, Mister Talley, please Sir, No…”
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death
NEIL and CORDELIA consult CATHERINE – CATHERINE enlists LIZETTE and some of the Men in town who were not in HIRAM’s stranglehold of influence. The police refuse to help. The group goes to the Boat-House with well-armed.
Hysteria
WHITAKER and VALERIA excoriate the police for not accompanying Neil and Cordelia to the Boat-House when asked – they insist that all will be killed. Angry recriminations salvo back and forth in the local government offices and among the business leaders dependent on Talley’s commerce and resources, as well as among the family and friends.
The thrilling escape from death
TALLEY appears bigger than ever, in a preternatural, monster-like form. He thrashes the people about until someone shoots him in the neck, knocking him to the floor of the dock.
Death returns to take one or more.
[REVISE THIS – CORDELIA MUST TRY TO ESCAPE BY GETTING ON THE BOAT, SEEING A FIGURE ON DECK UNMOORING IT, WEARING A DOCKWORKER WINDBREAKER. SHE CALLS TO HIM AS HE LAUNCHES BOAT, HE GIVES HER THUMBS-UP AS HE GOES DOWN BELOW. AS CORDELIA FOLLOWS HIM THE BOAT IS MOVING BUT BELOW DECK IS QUIET. SHE APPROACHES STAIRCASE, THEN RECOILS AS TALLEY is revealed, coming up at her having been revived. NEIL is waiting at Suicide Bridge, rappels down and jumps onto boat as CORDELIA passes under. NEIL faces TALLEY, using handle end of pitchfork to force TALLEY to bob weave and dance. NEIL flips the pitchfork around and drives it into TALLEY’s heart, striking the definitive blow. Until the sequel….
[orig. climax] CORDELIA, the last person who leaves the Boathouse after going through it looking for all the critical papers, valuables and collectibles, steps onto the dock. CORDELIA ducks and weaves to avoid his flailing at her, and she screams. NEIL hears her, rushes back to her, and drives a pitchfork into TALLEY‘s heart.
Resolution
The family makes allocations for CATHERINE and ENDORA, LIZETTE acknowledging that their philandering with TALLEY made her life easier. NEIL and CORDELIA create a charitable trust out of TALLEY’S inheritances to them. They also transfer TALLEY’S ongoing business empire to employee ownership.
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MICHAEL GRECO’s CHARACTERS FOR HORROR LESSON 3
WILDTA – Working within the broad types of horror
characters and events drives creation of compelling characters.ASSIGNMENT
As you saw in the example THE PURGE, create the Survivors and Victims of your movie.
1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.
CONCEPT / GROUP:
Hiram Pa Talley is a wealthy venture capitalist, rare coins enthusiast and land baron serving as self-appointed “Duke” of a three-county area in the rural Midwest. Talley manipulates his baleful wife, his arrogant, entitled and somewhat useless children, his employees, local politicians and business leaders and a mistress or two on the strength of his domineering persona and his money. When Talley and his boat are suddenly missing, along with local teenage girl Celeste, rumors ignite and Talley’s children and hangers-on embark on casual to urgent endeavors to locate his cash and valuables; they focus on Talley’s refuge, his prized boathouse, and do not return. When Celeste emerges, disheveled and partly unclothed, not recalling anything of the episode with Talley or the circumstances of her absence, the town goes into lockdown. Excepting Talley’s youngest daughter, defiant and high-spirited Cordelia.
On the strength of his domineering persona and his money Talley terrorizes [The Group]:
– his baleful wife, Lizette Dalrymple Talley;
– his arrogant, entitled and somewhat useless children, namely Whitaker, Braden, Valeria, Neil and Cordelia;
– his employees, including his accountant Gerald, properties manager Norman and personal assistant Tarryton;
– local politicians (Pit Stewart) and business leaders (Strother Wilhelm, diners); and
– a mistress or two (Catherine and Endora).
2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.
Hiram’s sycophants and hangers-on would go to the boathouse in secret, and generally not return – disappear permanently.
The only persons to return are:
– Celeste, the cheerleader and beauty queen (Valeria’s friend who comes into Hiram’s orbit before his disappearance), who stumbles into town appearing ghostly pale and soaking wet, unable to recount the events and circumstances of her abduction and absence;
– Neil and Cordelia, Hiram’s youngest children who refuse to kowtow to Hiram and manage to escape his angry assaults; and
– Catherine, Hiram’s long-time mistress, an independent woman with a confident demeanor who fascinated Hiram because lives with verve by her own ethical code and principles.
Those who do not return are usually enticed aboard Hiram’s boat, clobbered with an oar, raped (in the case of the women) and drowned.
The Group cannot do much inside his house, which is always busy. They look for clues along the river, and especially at his boathouse, a secluded riverside structure a quarter-mile away that served as Hiram’s refuge – visitors and visits were limited and carefully monitored, enticing interest in his activities there..
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
Example: Leader: Without much consideration, Mike sets a direction, then inspires or pushes the group to go there. Hopefully, he guesses the right direction.
· Leader
· Rescuer
· Innocent
· Out of control / Obnoxious
· Red Herring
· Love Interest or lovers
· Complainer
· Rebel / Rule Breaker
· Introvert / Loner
· Moral One
· Monster Bait
· The Carrier: The one who brings the horror to the group
· Sacrificial Lamb
Disappeared and presumed Dead:
– Acquisitive perpetual sufferer / victim [and baleful wife] Lizette Dalrymple Talley – expects respect, allegiance, and an outsized share of Hiram’s wealth for all the silent suffering and indignity he made her endure, as he impressed her into duty to appear as cheerful, energetic, devoted wife
– Hiram’s arrogant, entitled and somewhat useless children, namely:
– Whitaker (Rescuer), eldest, demanding and presumptuous, competitive, arrogant and affectedly regal, insists on letting everyone know that he is responsible for caring for Hiram’s progeny, and his wealth, in Hiram’s absence.
– Braden (Out Of Control / Obnoxious), second son & child, mischievous, salacious, brash, rebel of the family, intensely inquisitive and curious, determined to find location of Hiram or / and cause of death, caches of coins, collectibles, cash and assets, and what the Hell does he keep hidden in that boathouse.
– Valeria (Innocent), third child, eldest daughter, waif-like, pouts silently to get what she wants, abandons responsibility to give back, inert and ineffectual.
– Neil (sacrificial lamb), matches Braden for brashness and curiosity, more ethically structured, thoughtful and caring. He keeps that part secret, as Braden and Whitaker dominate him somewhat, and have always lead him into trouble, from which they dutifully protect insulate him…until they don’t.
– Cordelia (Lone Wolf), faithful in spirit but driven, independent; fiercely ethical; unconcerned with Hiram’s wealth, considers the privileges his wealth has brought to be a trust which imposes responsibilities on her to manage it properly, for the benefit of others outside herself family.
– Employees:
– Accountant Gerald – glorified thief – shrewd and resourceful – keeps multiple sets of account books for Hiram’s income tax reporting and personal dealings, settling of scores; resents Hiram’s children and believes himself as much the source of it as Hiram.
– Properties manager Norman – responsible but afraid of the world. Suggestible, naive and vulnerable to influence.
– Personal assistant Tarryton – pious and impenetrable, believes himself Hiram’s most trusted confidant. Aligned with Lizette as well as mistresses, plays them gently against each other and plays the children against each other and everyone.
– local politician Pit Stewart – charismatic, venal, ever anxious and conniving, panting about how to get Hiram to give up his cash, Pit moves too fast and is trapped.
– local business leader Strother Wilhelm, owner of a chain of diners in the region financed and abused by Hiram, Strother seizes on Hiram’s disappearance to try a power play;
– Hiram’s mistresses or girlfriends:
– Catherine – serene and patient; resourceful in that she keeps another lover secret from Hiram and his toadies.
– Endora – smart but blowsy, petty and greedy.
Survivors:
– Celeste, the cheerleader and beauty queen (Valeria’s friend who comes into Hiram’s orbit before his disappearance), who stumbles into town appearing ghostly pale and soaking wet, unable to recount the events and circumstances of her abduction and absence;
– Neil and Cordelia, Hiram’s youngest children who refuse to kowtow to Hiram and manage to escape his angry assaults; and
– Catherine, Hiram’s long-time mistress, an independent woman with a confident demeanor who fascinated Hiram because lives with verve by her own ethical code and principles. She is tactical, but she demands answers.
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MICHAEL GRECO’s MONSTER and VILLAIN: Hiram ‘Pa’ Talley
HORROR ASSIGNMENT LESSON 2 CRAFTING YOUR MONSTER
WILDTA is that exploring the elements or anchor points of horror provokes ideas as to where the story can go, and to some extent, how it will climax.
CONCEPT / MONSTER-VILLAIN:
Hiram Pa Talley is a wealthy venture capitalist, rare coins enthusiast and land baron serving as self-appointed “Duke” of a three-county area in the rural Midwest. Talley manipulates his baleful wife, his arrogant, entitled and somewhat useless children, his employees, local politicians and business leaders and a mistress or two on the strength of his domineering persona and his money. When Talley and his boat are suddenly missing, along with local teenage girl Celeste, rumors ignite and Talley’s children and hangers-on embark on casual to urgent endeavors to locate his cash and valuables; they focus on Talley’s refuge, his prized boathouse, and do not return. When Celeste emerges, disheveled and partly unclothed, not recalling anything of the episode with Talley or the circumstances of her absence, the town goes into lockdown. Excepting Talley’s youngest daughter, defiant and high-spirited Cordelia.
Terror: Pa Talley has a stranglehold of a three-county area, a phalanx of professionals, employees, odd-jobbers and henchmen, four children and a grandchild, a mousy wife and three itinerant mistresses. The dominion he exercises over them is abidingly psychological; and it is withering, soul-crushing. Those who are attracted or impelled to enter Talley’s lair – his boat and his boathouse – they disappear, some permanently, the lucky ones for several days or weeks. Those lucky ones are affectless, spiritless, unable to recount their tribulations – they are shells of their former selves.
Mystery: Where has Talley cached his wealth? Where has Talley gone, and is he alive? Most importantly, what the Hell is happening to all the people who have visited the boathouse?
Fear-Provoking Appearance: a former college football lineman, Talley is huge, tall and imposing. His jaw is shaped like a bear-trap, his hands are beefy, his nostrils flare out when he breathes – especially when Talley is irritated or stimulated. His most menacing feature is his eyes – big-cat Satanic eyes with a glare that burns through toadies and nemeses alike. To entertain children Talley wears a clown mask – which is somehow almost as alarming as his naked face; even more menacing as everyone in Talley’s orbit understands the menace behind the mask.
Rules – Talley’s Rules are set by Talley: (1) Everyone follows my rules. Everyone is at my disposal. (2) Those who would serve me well, I reward modestly. (3) Those I require for sex and procreation serve at my pleasure, according to their ongoing value to me. (4) Those who try to flatter me, or to curry favor with me: those do not interest me. Those are only worthy of becoming food in my greenhouse and terrarium. Those are a scourge on the Earth and are unfit for more – so they are dispatched and consumed. (5) Those who resist me, those who do not come begging and whimpering to me: those interest me. Those are the ones I put to the test. Those who endure my test: those get to live. As long as they hold true to that stance.
Mythology – Part Leviathan: Hobbes’ conceit, an “ubermensche”; as well as an actual leviathan. Part Rasputin: driven by outsized appetites for sex and power.
Michael Greco
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The Ritual – Horror Conventions.
Michael Greco 6 14 21 (6/21/21)
Day 1 – Assignment –
WILDTA: That starting from key elements of horror is an organic way to flesh out a horror story and concept.
ASSIGNMENT
Analyze a HORROR movie to discover how the conventions were expressed. It is totally okay to analyze a movie you’ve already seen, but please watch it again. Don’t just do it from memory.
1. Go to Netflix, iTunes, or Amazon and search for “horror” movies. Pick a horror movie that fits three criteria:
· A. It matches our model.
· B. It is not one of our example movies.
· C. You can get instant access to it. Check iTunes, Netflix, YouTube or Amazon.
2. Watch the movie and as you do, note its conventions.
· Title / Concept:
The Ritual [NOTE: SPOILERS – THIS MOVIE IS WORTH EXPERIENCING WITHOUT ADVANCE KNOWLEDGE OF THE EVENTS DEPICTED]
· Terrorize The Characters:
Four lads in their 30s try to re-capture a lads’ holiday by hiking in Northern Sweden – not during winter, not during midsommar. They encounter menacing sounds and utterances, footprints suggesting both human and quadruped beings concealing themselves near them, and corpses mounted in trees. They are constantly being encircled and approached.
· Isolation:
The brashest of the lot, Hutch, chooses a forest route back to the main lodge after one of them injures a bad knee. They struggle to maintain a clear route toward the lodge, and take shelter from rain in a seemingly abandoned house deep in the woods. The forest is the terrifying environment, and, of course, the sole domain of the Monster (the Monster cannot exist outside the forest).
· Death:
Before the hiking trip, one character (Luke) witnesses the murder of their friend Rob in a liquor store when they accidentally stumble into a robbery. Rob is stabbed because he refuses to give robbers his wedding ring; Luke has hidden and is afraid to come to Rob’s defense, remains hidden. Rob is clubbed and left to die in a large pool of his own blood. In the Sweden hike, the lads first encounter a quartered bear mounted on a tree, as though for display. Then they see a human corpse, quartered and mounted on a tree. Hutch is stripped from his sleeping tent, slaughtered and mounted on a tree. Other similar killings ensue.
· Monster/Villain:
Revealed late in the film, after surviving lads Luke and [Peter] find their way to a mid-forest compound of aging Swedes. They are abducted and chained inside the group house. Peter is taken for sacrifice to the Beast first – Luke peers through crevice in wall and sees giraffe-sized fur-skinned raptor-like beast, kangaroo- or T-Rex-shaped, ambulating on large hind legs and manipulating the people with its arms short and strong. Face indeterminate, seems to have bear-jaws inside First Nation/Native Medicine Man (Great Plains: Comanche Kiowa Shoshoni Sioux) head and headdress. The monster has shape-shifting and reality-shifting abilities – it appears to Peter as his wife, when Peter is offered by the forest dwellers for sacrifice. It re-creates for Luke the scene in the liquor store where Luke’s friend Rob is murdered, in the middle of the forest. The monster seeks adulation/supplication from the forest dwellers, and is vulnerable to fire/immolation, open spaces (cannot leave forest or enter clearing).
· High Tension:
The different footprints and sounds as well as the ritual tree-carvings, corpse mountings and ritual figures and statue in the abandoned house create mystery and suspense as to the being[s] surrounding the lads. The swift and deadly means of taking and dispatching victims jacks up the tension. The tension between the lads and their different personal objectives and ideas about the northern Sweden hiking trip causes dissension, jacks up the tension.
· Departure from Reality:
The monster is preternatural, cryptozoological, as is the bargain it strikes with the forest dwellers: supplication and obsequiousness/obedience to the monster in consideration for enduring life to the aging forest dwellers.
· Moral Statement:
Not perfectly rendered – Luke’s escape from captivity by the forest dwellers and confrontation with / escape from the monster signal a reward for courage, ingenuity and defiance. Luke’s failure to intervene in liquor store robbery to prevent Rob’s murder (not known if Rob would have survived had he voluntarily relinquished wedding ring to robbers), along with Luke’s failure to rescue Peter from death, highlights self-preservation, and a realistic response to peril. It also points up cowardice in response to danger, an issue raised in the film.
3. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film?
The contrast between four lads-approaching-middle-age actively seeking out a natural adventure in a remote unfamiliar location and being terrorized and killed by bizarre supernatural forces make the film an extraordinary experience.
4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
· Concept:
CONCEPT: Town money baron and overseer Hiram Talley disappears with a young woman one night, causing unrest throughout the small river town. Talley’s family, friends, employees and toadies are drawn to his boathouse to seek clues as to his disappearance, ending drastically for all those who enter.
· Terrorize The Characters:
Hiram’s children, lovers and mistresses, and employees look for him, and for evidence of where his cash and rare coins are located. They are ineluctably drawn to the boathouse, where they find evidence of his presence and activity; and are then terrorized, immobilized and sent down river in dingies, by forces they cannot precisely identify. Only those who do not seek any money or graft from Hiram are able to return alive.
· Isolation:
The boathouse is Hiram’s hallowed sanctuary, as much as his manse and his boat. Hiram exercises complete dominion over the entire region, and especially in his boathouse.
· Death:
The sycophants and toadies who are grazing for Hiram’s wealth disappear, and ultimately turn up death. Those who do not adulate or curry favor with Hiram are terrorized and tortured, but they are able to survive, escape and return to the town.
· Monster/Villain:
Hiram Pa Talley is not tall but stocky, imposing, formidable and distinguished-looking. His eyes pierce, his nose thick and large, his jaw ringed by an Abe Lincoln beard and his mouth mischievous, expressively twisted and always snarling.
· High Tension:
Hiram’s children, employees and toadies are frenzied to ascertain that Hiram is dead – and to access his wealth. All of their theories point to large amounts of cash and collectibles being stashed in the boathouse. One by one they keep disappearing, and showing up dead.
· Departure from Reality:
Disappearances of Hiram and the people around him without a trace, and some of them turning up dead, others returning alive but completely devastated psychologically, unable to recollect their experiences, launches the story away from the expected.
· Moral Statement:
Greed and Covetousness of Hiram is punished, as is the greed of his venal, inheritance-minded children and the toadies and employees who expect to cash in on Hiram’s death. These people disappear and meet with a grisly death. Those who respect but do not revere Hiram and his wealth are allowed to survive, to live, never again to fall within his clutches.
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Hi Everyone!
My name is Michael Greco. I am located in Chicago, Illinois. I am excited and jacked about taking this class.
I have written two feature-length screenplays. The third is fully mapped and in process.
I love horror – especially smart horror, as defined in this class – and the ways that it both tells stories, reveals character and pulls in the audience emotionally. My objective is to develop structures or levers for creating horror films.
I think a lot of things are unique about me, but I just read about my fellow classmate who trapped the escape room burglar – unreal! I have to deal with sometimes horrific circumstances as a trial lawyer; I once represented a defendant accused of a grisly crime, who had a prior conviction for murder. The evidence in the grisly crime case I tried just did not establish guilt – the jury acquitted client within about one hour of beginning deliberation.
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KILLING OF A SACRED DEER THRILLER CONVENTIONS 5/4/2021
MICHAEL GRECO Mastering THRILLER DAY 1 5 4 2021
WILDTAI POOR DESIGN and EXECUTION can deflate a Thriller despite mysterious, intriguing characters.
I viewed and evaluated ‘Killing Of A Sacred Deer’ (Germany or France?). Though marketed as a Thriller, and reminiscent of past, stronger thrillers, this movie took a nose-dive for the worse after the mid-point or so, design-wise and crappy execution too.
ASSIGNMENT
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero:
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>STEVEN – weak, liar, some resources
Dangerous Villain:<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> MARTIN – unexplained supernatural
powers
High stakes:<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> Life / Death; marital
infidelity.
Life and death situations:<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> Yes
This movie is thrilling
because?<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> Uncertain for first
half why Martin has such a grip on Steven. Intriguing characters and situation.3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?
Big Mystery: Why does Steven make time to see
Martin, entertain him, answer his summons. (What is Steven’s sexual hangup
or hitch?)
Big Intrigue: What is Martin’s gift or value that
makes him enjoy dominion over Steven
Big Suspense: How will Steven and wife react to
Martin’s mid-point call for death of one of family.4. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great thriller? Terrific setup. Poor execution and choices in second and third act. Also, stakes and goals were flaccid – no information was given as to why Martin had been visiting Steven for six months preceding time of film, yet now he reveals revenge animus.
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Hi All! Michael Greco here. I have written two screenplays. Had a one-act play produced a while back. I love thriller movies, and I believe I work that territory – looking for a structured approach to it. Everything is unique about me, and universal. I went scuba diving for the first time this year… will be doing more of that. Looking forward to working with everyone. Cheers, MG
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY – 5 STAR MODEL
What I learned doing this assignment is: Multiple layers of character drama and complexity and introduction of a compelling setting and group of characters create a platform that makes the show “Binge-Worthy.”
Big Picture Hooks: House that harbors mayhem, body parts preserved in jars of formaldehyde, bizarre sexual practices and murder; family moves in there because angry, angst-ridden teenage daughter tells realtor ‘We’ll take it; dev. disabled girl and creepy murderous mother appear in house unexpectedly, all the time; marriage in distress following pregnancy miscarriage and creepy maid insinuates herself into being employed Harmons, and then shape-shifts into young, kinky maid to seduce Ben.
Intriguing Characters:
Vivien Harmon – middle-aged woman keeping husband at a distance, past issues and trauma, had miscarriage 6 mos. before affair, buys dog to replace miscarried child; told by physician she needs hormone treatment (to make her look and feel younger), discovers husband having sexual relations with a younger woman.
Ben Harmon – Psychiatrist husband who cheated on wife Vivien after miscarriage of their second child, buys large Victorian house at knock-down price which had been recent site of murder-suicide, interested in kinky, younger women, cannot control himself; cannot separate psychotic patient from his daughter Violet.
Violet – lone wolf, non-conformist; angry, sad, principled [won’t rat out her assailant in school fight], engages in cutting behavior, insists on exacting revenge against fellow student who attacked her, lures student to house to be terrorized b father’s psychotic patient Tate.
Adelaide DD Mongoloid Girl – constantly shows up inside house presaging death within the house.
Constance, Adelaide’s Mother – intrusive creepy bitter- angry about men bitter over jilted by lover-husband for a younger woman.
Moira – Maid – psychotic, forces her way into home insisting she has always been caretaker of house, tempts Ben sexually. Insists that the house has “feelings,” and that it will exact revenge if mistreated.
Tate – patient, kills people he likes because he believes life is just suffering. Wants to relief them from their suffering. Son of a promiscuous woman who’s now dead. Constantly invades house and engages with Violet even though his only purpose for being there is psychiatric treatment by Ben.
Empathy / Distress:
Vivien twice traumatized (miscarriage; husband’s infidelity); tries to protect family and create wholesome life, struggles heroically to protect family and repair marriage. Ben succumbs to desire, lust, tries to improve marriage and life for himself, Vivien and daughter; buys house try to repair marital issues, work within hime to be closer to family.
Moira, Tate, Constance and Adelaide constantly showing up in house.
Layers / Open Loops.
Constant intimations and threats of violence; visions of death, violence and mayhem. Sexual temptation of Ben by Moira. Vivien and Violet experience bizarre visions and encounters.
Inviting Obsession.
Events presage further violence occurring in unexpected ways. House and especially basement, as well as creepy characters appearing, consistently promise violence, trauma and death.
Michael Greco
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Hello James, I like your scene, lots of suspense and intrigue. Interesting reversal / twist and surprise with Nick, who surprises John by approaching him secretly, ends up shot (having been Mumford’s target). I would be interested in knowing the item referred to in the middle of the scene (was that the handgun?) and whom John telephones at the end of scene.