[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Supporting Characters

My vision is to sell a script for a million bucks!

Here's a list of supporting and background characters for my Dramedy screenplay "I Love What You've Done To The Place," along with basic profiles for the supporting characters:

Supporting Characters:
1. Kirsten's daughter (Abigail)
2. Kirsten's friend #1 (Nicole)
3. Kirsten's friend #2 (Shailene)
4. Kirsten's friend #3 (Reece)
5. Jesse's new girlfriend (Zoe)
6. Kirsten's real estate agent (Nathan)
7. Kirsten's lawyer (Laura)
8. The contractor (Alexander)
9. Kirsten's former interior designer Meryl
10. Shop owner where Hallworth finds the replacement vase (Antique Annie)
11. Hallworth's new boyfriend (Corey)

Supporting Character Profiles:

Support 1:
– Name: Abigail
– Role: Kirsten's daughter
– Main purpose: To provide emotional support and a sense of grounding for Kirsten during her journey
– Value: Represents the importance of family and the need for Kirsten to set a positive example for her daughter

Support 2:
– Name: Nicole
– Role: Kirsten's friend #1
– Main purpose: To share her own post-divorce experiences and offer relatable advice to Kirsten
– Value: Represents the diverse experiences of divorcees and the importance of female solidarity

Support 3:
– Name: Shailene
– Role: Kirsten's friend #2
– Main purpose: To challenge Kirsten's perceptions and encourage her to embrace change and take risks
– Value: Acts as a catalyst for Kirsten's personal growth and self-discovery

Support 4:
– Name: Reece
– Role: Kirsten's friend #3
– Main purpose: To provide comic relief and a lighthearted perspective on the challenges of post-divorce life
– Value: Brings levity to the story and helps balance the more serious themes

Support 5:
– Name: Zoe
– Role: Jesse's new girlfriend
– Main purpose: To serve as a reminder of Jesse's new life and the changes Kirsten must accept
– Value: Represents the reality of moving on and the importance of focusing on one's own happiness

Support 6:
– Name: Nathan
– Role: Kirsten's real estate agent
– Main purpose: To guide Kirsten through the process of selling her marital home and finding a new property
– Value: Provides practical advice and support, helping Kirsten take tangible steps towards her new life

Support 7:
– Name: Laura
– Role: Kirsten's lawyer
– Main purpose: To handle the legal aspects of Kirsten's divorce and provide guidance on her rights and options
– Value: Offers professional expertise and helps Kirsten navigate the complex legal and financial aspects of divorce

Support 8:
– Name: Alexander
– Role: The contractor
– Main purpose: To oversee the renovation and demolition process, bringing Kirsten's vision to life
– Value: Represents the physical transformation that mirrors Kirsten's emotional journey and provides practical support in the process

Support 9:
– Name: Meryl
– Role: Kirsten's former interior designer
– Main purpose: To decline Kirsten's request to redecorate, pushing her to find a new designer and approach
– Value: Serves as a catalyst for Kirsten to meet Hallworth and embark on a more transformative journey

Support 10:
– Name: Antique Annie
– Role: Shop owner where Hallworth finds the replacement vase
– Main purpose: To provide a unique and meaningful piece that helps Kirsten let go of the past
– Value: Represents the importance of finding beauty and purpose in unexpected places

Support 11:
– Name: Corey
– Role: Hallworth's new boyfriend
– Main purpose: To show Hallworth's personal growth and happiness alongside Kirsten's journey
– Value: Demonstrates the possibility of finding love and companionship after heartbreak and serves as a parallel to Kirsten's own journey

Background Characters:
1. Kirsten's ex-husband's lawyer
2. Movers
3. Gardeners
4. Kirsten's housekeeper
5. Delivery personnel
6. Auction attendees
7. Neighbors
8. Partygoers at the "smashing" parties
9. Interior designers Kirsten interviews
10. The cop who shows up at the smash party
11. Shop owners on the field/road trips

What I Learned: These supporting characters and background characters help create a rich and dynamic world for Kirsten's story to unfold. Each character serves a specific purpose, propels the story forward, and adds value to the narrative in a meaningful way, contributing to the emotional resonance of the screenplay and overall themes of personal transformation and moving on from the past. They all contribute to Kirsten's journey in meaningful ways, providing support, challenges, and opportunities for growth. The supporting characters also help to create a well-rounded and believable world around Kirsten, reflecting the diverse experiences and perspectives of those navigating life after divorce.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Character Profiles Part 2

Here are the character profiles for each lead character in my Drama Comedy screenplay “I Love What You’ve Done To The Place”:

Kirsten (Protagonist)

7. Character Subtext:
– Hiding the depth of her emotional pain, grief, and feelings of failure related to her divorce, presenting a facade of coping to the outside world.
– Yearning for a fresh start but secretly feeling guilty about letting go of the past and the dream she and her ex-husband built together.

8. Character Intrigue:
– Deception: Despite her proclamations of wanting to move on, Kirsten has been discreetly monitoring her ex-husband’s life through social media and mutual acquaintances.
– Secret: Unbeknownst to her friends and family, Kirsten has been secretly attending therapy sessions to address her emotional trauma. She fears that disclosing this would be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure, undermining the strong, resilient image she strives to project.

9. Flaw:
– Kirsten’s need for control and perfection often leads her to obsess over details and struggle to adapt to change, causing her to sabotage her own efforts to move on and find happiness.

10. Values:
– Family: Kirsten prioritizes her daughter’s happiness and well-being above all else, striving to create a stable and loving environment despite the challenges of divorce.
– Resilience: Kirsten values her ability to overcome adversity and rebuild her life, even in the face of personal trauma and societal expectations.
– Authenticity: Despite her struggles, Kirsten ultimately believes in being true to herself and her emotions, even when it’s difficult.

11. Character Dilemma:
– Kirsten is torn between her desire to move forward and embrace a new chapter in her life and her deep-seated attachment to the familiarity and security of her past, leading her to vacillate between taking bold steps towards change and retreating into the comfort of what she knows.

Hallworth (Connected Character)

7. Character Subtext:
– Hiding his own vulnerability, heartbreak, and emotional pain behind his confident, comedic exterior and professional facade.
– Withholding his deeper emotions and personal struggles, using humor, wit, and his design expertise as a defense mechanism and a way to connect with others.

8. Character Intrigue:
– Hidden Agenda: Hallworth sees Kirsten’s redecoration project as an opportunity to prove himself as a designer and secure a high-profile client, driven by a secret desire to outshine his professional rivals and establish his reputation in the cutthroat world of interior design.
– Secret Identity: Beneath his flamboyant and comedic exterior, Hallworth is a deeply perceptive and empathetic individual who has conquered his own painful past. He has quietly dedicated himself to guiding others through their emotional struggles, using his design expertise as a tool for transformation and self-discovery.

9. Flaw:
– Hallworth’s desire to be recognized and respected in his field sometimes causes him to take on more than he can handle, leading to burnout and neglect of his own emotional well-being.

10. Values:
– Authenticity: Hallworth believes in the power of being true to oneself and encourages others to embrace their unique qualities and experiences.
– Empathy: He values the ability to understand and connect with others on a deep, emotional level, using this skill to guide his clients through transformative journeys.
– Creativity: Hallworth believes in the power of creativity and self-expression to transform lives and inspire change.

11. Character Dilemma:
– Hallworth is conflicted between his desire to help Kirsten heal and grow and his own need for professional success and validation. He must navigate the delicate balance between offering genuine support and maintaining appropriate boundaries in their client-designer relationship.

Jesse (Antagonist)

7. Character Subtext:
– Hiding his own emotional struggles, guilt, and regret about the divorce behind a facade of nonchalance and the appearance of having moved on.
– Withholding his true feelings of remorse, guilt, and the weight of his memories in the marital home, presenting a carefree, detached front to Kirsten and the world.
– Being polite and friendly in his interactions with Kirsten, masking the underlying tension, guilt, and the emotional significance of their shared history in the mansion.

8. Character Intrigue:
– Competition: As Kirsten’s redecoration project gains attention/publicity, Jesse feels compelled to showcase his own success and thriving new relationship. He engages in subtle one-upmanship, aiming to demonstrate that he has moved on and is flourishing without Kirsten, driven by a need to validate his decision to leave the marriage.
– Secret: Despite his outward contentment, Jesse harbors a secret fear that his new relationship may not have the same depth and connection he once shared with Kirsten. He overcompensates by constantly emphasizing his new partner’s positive attributes and their exciting lifestyle, attempting to convince both himself and others of his happiness.

9. Flaw:
– Jesse’s tendency to prioritize his own needs and desires over those of others often leads him to make selfish decisions, unintentionally hurting the people closest to him.

10. Values:
– Success: Jesse places a high value on professional success and status, often using these as a measure of his self-worth and personal fulfillment.
– Family: Despite his shortcomings, Jesse genuinely loves his daughter and wants to maintain a strong, positive relationship with her.

11. Character Dilemma:
– Jesse is torn between his desire to maintain a friendly, cooperative relationship with Kirsten for the sake of their daughter and his own discomfort with confronting the emotional impact of his past actions. This leads him to oscillate between attempts at amicable co-parenting and self-protective avoidance of deeper conversations and accountability.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Character Profiles Part 1

Kirsten (Protagonist)

A. The High Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

B. This character’s journey: Kirsten, a wealthy divorcee, attempts to move on from her failed marriage by redecorating the dream home she once shared with her ex-husband. As her efforts take a destructive turn, she ultimately realizes that the only way to truly heal is to let go of the past, sell the house, and start anew.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:
1. A complex, emotionally layered role that showcases a woman’s transformative journey from heartbreak to self-discovery and empowerment.
2. The opportunity to portray a relatable, yet unconventional female lead who challenges societal norms and expectations surrounding divorce and personal growth.
3. Kirsten’s unique approach to processing her divorce through the redecoration, renovation, and ultimately, the destruction of her marital home.

Character Profile:
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist, the primary character with the biggest arc.
2. Age range and Description: Mid-40s, an attractive and elegant woman who exudes sophistication and poise, masking her inner turmoil and vulnerability.
3. Core Traits: Resilient, determined, creative, and emotionally guarded.
4. Motivation — Want/Need:
– Want: To makeover the marital home to erase the painful memories and create a new life for herself post-divorce.
– Need: To confront her deep-rooted fears, process her emotional pain, and learn to let go of the past to truly move forward.
5. Wound: The profound sense of betrayal, abandonment, and personal failure stemming from her husband’s infidelity and the collapse of her seemingly perfect marriage.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
– Likability: Kirsten’s dedication to her daughter and her genuine care for others despite her personal struggles.
– Relatability: Her journey of self-discovery and the challenges of moving on after a life-changing event.
– Empathy: The raw vulnerability she displays as she navigates the emotional fallout of her divorce.

Hallworth (Obstacle Character)

A. The High Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

B. This character’s journey: Hallworth, an eccentric interior designer, helps Kirsten transform her marital home while simultaneously guiding her on a journey of self-discovery. Through their collaboration, he challenges Kirsten to confront her past and embrace the transformative power of letting go.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:
1. The opportunity to play a dynamic, scene-stealing supporting character who serves as both a source of humor and a catalyst for the protagonist’s growth.
2. The chance to portray a complex, emotionally layered character whose own backstory and experiences inform his unique perspective and approach.
3. Hallworth’s unconventional methods and philosophical outlook on life and design, which challenge Kirsten’s preconceptions and push her out of her comfort zone.

Character Profile:
1. Role in the Story: Obstacle Character, a key player who guides and challenges the protagonist, catalyzing her transformation.
2. Age range and Description: Late 30s, a charismatic and stylish man with an eccentric flair and a keen eye for design and human nature.
3. Core Traits: Perceptive, empathetic, unconventional, and persistent.
4. Motivation — Want/Need:
– Want: To help Kirsten transform her living space and, in turn, her life, using his design expertise and intuition.
– Need: To find meaning and connection through his work and relationships, and to help others navigate the challenges he himself has faced.
5. Wound: The emotional scars from his own recent and painful breakup, which drive his empathy and determination to support Kirsten’s journey of healing and self-discovery.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
– Likability: Hallworth’s quick wit, humor, and genuine care for Kirsten and his clients.
– Relatability: His own experiences with love, loss, and the struggle to move forward.
– Empathy: The vulnerability he reveals as he shares his own story and helps Kirsten navigate her emotional journey.

Jesse (Antagonist)

A. The High Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

B. This character’s journey: Jesse, Kirsten’s ex-husband, serves as a constant reminder of their failed marriage. His presence and actions unintentionally hinder Kirsten’s efforts to move on, forcing her to confront the deeper issues preventing her from truly letting go.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character:
1. The opportunity to play a nuanced, non-traditional antagonist whose presence and actions drive the emotional conflict and growth of the protagonist.
2. The chance to showcase the subtleties and depth of a character who is not overtly villainous but whose impact on the story is significant and far-reaching.
3. Jesse’s role as a catalyst for Kirsten’s emotional journey and the way in which his presence and their shared history continue to shape her path forward.

Character Profile:
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist, a complex character whose presence and actions create obstacles and catalyze change for the protagonist.
2. Age range and Description: Late 40s, a handsome and successful man with a magnetic presence and an air of confidence.
3. Core Traits: Ambitious, charming, self-assured, and emotionally unavailable.
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
– Want: To maintain a friendly relationship with Kirsten for the sake of their daughter while moving on with his own life and new relationship.
– Need: To confront his own role in the demise of their marriage and the emotional impact of his actions on Kirsten and their family.
5. Wound: The buried guilt and regret over his past infidelity and the fear of truly acknowledging the consequences of his choices on the people he loves.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
– Likability: Jesse’s charm, success, and dedication to his daughter.
– Relatability: The challenges of co-parenting and navigating life after a divorce.
– Empathy: The glimpses of vulnerability and regret that humanize his character.

What I learned: These character profiles emphasize the core elements and provide a strong foundation for developing multi-dimensional, engaging lead characters that serve the story’s high concept, central themes, and emotional journey. By refining and building upon these profiles, you can create characters that not only attract talented actors but also resonate deeply with your audience.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy

Ways to present each of the three lead characters to create likability, relatability, and empathy:

Kirsten (Protagonist)

Likability:
– Kirsten is introduced as a devoted mother who, despite her personal struggles, always prioritizes her daughter’s happiness and well-being.
– She shows genuine kindness and empathy towards her friends and the people she encounters, even in the midst of her own emotional turmoil.
– Kirsten’s involvement in charitable work and her willingness to help others demonstrate her compassionate nature.

Relatability:
– Kirsten’s journey of coping with the emotional fallout of divorce is a relatable experience for many viewers who have gone through similar challenges. Kirsten’s struggle to move on after her divorce is a universal experience that many viewers can relate to.
– Her attempts to maintain a strong facade while privately dealing with her pain and insecurities are relatable struggles that individuals often face during difficult times.
– Kirsten’s moments of self-doubt and the pressure she feels to keep up appearances in her social circle are relatable experiences for people navigating life changes.

Empathy:
– The audience witnesses Kirsten’s raw emotional breakdown when she is triggered by reminders of her ex-husband’s presence in the house, evoking empathy for her unresolved pain.
– Kirsten’s vulnerability is showcased through her private moments of grief and the emotional challenges she faces in letting go of the past, prompting the audience to empathize with her struggles.
– The film depicts Kirsten’s internal battle between her desire to move on and her fear of change, allowing the audience to empathize with the complexities of her emotional journey.

Hallworth (Obstacle Character)

Likability:
– Hallworth’s introduction scene showcases his quick wit, humor, and charisma, making him instantly likable to the audience.
– He goes above and beyond in his role as a designer, providing not just professional expertise but also emotional support and guidance to Kirsten.
– Hallworth’s genuine care and concern for Kirsten’s well-being, even when it means challenging her, demonstrate his integrity and good intentions.

Relatability:
– Hallworth’s own experience with a recent painful breakup allows the audience to relate to his understanding and empathy towards Kirsten’s situation.
– His struggle to balance his professional ambitions with his personal life and the desire to help others is a relatable challenge for many viewers.
– Hallworth’s moments of vulnerability and the emotional impact of his own past experiences are relatable to individuals who have faced similar challenges.

Empathy:
– The audience learns about Hallworth’s own journey of healing and self-discovery through his honest conversations with Kirsten, evoking empathy for his personal struggles.
– Hallworth’s willingness to put Kirsten’s emotional needs above his own professional goals, even when it creates conflicts, prompts the audience to empathize with his selflessness.
– The film depicts Hallworth’s own journey of self-discovery and healing alongside Kirsten’s, allowing the audience to empathize with his personal growth.

Jesse (Antagonist)

Likability:
– Jesse is introduced as a charming and successful businessman, initially portraying him in a positive light.
– Jesse genuinely cares for his daughter and wants to maintain a positive relationship with her, demonstrating his caring side as a father.
– He makes efforts to be a present and supportive father, attending his daughter’s important milestones, showing interest in her life, and spending the holidays with her.
– Jesse’s moments of self-awareness and his attempts to be a better person, even if flawed, can make him more likable to the audience.

Relatability:
– Jesse’s struggle to navigate his new life and relationships while co-parenting with Kirsten is a relatable challenge for many divorced individuals.
– His moments of regret and the realization of the impact his actions have had on his family are relatable experiences for those who have made mistakes in their personal lives.
– Jesse’s attempts to maintain a successful career while balancing his personal responsibilities and emotions are relatable struggles for many viewers.
– His attempts to maintain a cordial relationship with Kirsten for the sake of their daughter, despite their differences, is a relatable experience for divorced parents.
– Jesse’s moments of self-reflection and doubt about his past actions and their impact on his family are relatable experiences for individuals who have made mistakes in relationships.

Empathy:
– The audience witnesses Jesse’s moments of vulnerability, regret, guilt and the emotional toll his past mistakes have taken on him, evoking empathy for his own struggles.
– Jesse’s genuine desire to be a good father, despite his shortcomings and the challenges of co-parenting, can prompt the audience to empathize with his efforts.
– The film portrays Jesse’s gradual realization of the consequences of his actions and his attempts to make amends, allowing the audience to empathize with his personal growth.

What I learned: By presenting these characters through a combination of likability, relatability, and empathy, the audience will form a strong emotional connection with them. This connection will enhance the audience’s investment in the characters’ journeys and the overall impact of the story.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Character Intrigue

Vision – sell a script for 1 mil.

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle.
Kirsten (newly divorced) is the Protagonist
Hallworth (the interior designer) is the Obstacle Character who facilitates change for Kirsten.
Jesse (her ex-husband) is the Antagonist who causes her psychological angst

Intriguing layers for each character.

Kirsten (Protagonist)

Hidden Agenda:
– Kirsten’s relentless pursuit of redecorating and ultimately destroying the mansion is fueled by a hidden desire to erase not only the physical reminders of her failed marriage but also her own perceived shortcomings and the guilt she feels over the divorce.

Unspoken Wound:
– Kirsten is haunted by a deep-seated fear of abandonment rooted in her childhood experiences, which was intensified by her husband’s infidelity and their subsequent divorce. This unspoken wound drives her obsessive need to control her environment and maintain a facade of perfection.

Secret:
– Unbeknownst to her friends and family, Kirsten has been attending therapy sessions to address her emotional trauma. She fears that disclosing this would be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure, undermining the strong, resilient image she strives to project.

Deception:
– Despite her proclamations of moving forward, Kirsten has been discreetly monitoring her ex-husband’s life through social media and mutual acquaintances, unable to fully detach herself from the past and the life she once envisioned for herself.

Hallworth (Obstacle Character)

Competition:
– Hallworth views Kirsten’s redecoration project as a chance to establish himself as a leading designer and secure a wealthy, high-profile client. He is driven by a fierce desire to surpass his professional competitors and cement his reputation in the ruthless world of interior design.

Secret:
– Hallworth has been anonymously funding a charitable organization that supports individuals going through difficult life transitions, including divorce. This secret philanthropy stems from his own experiences and his genuine desire to make a difference in the lives of others facing similar challenges.

Secret Identity:
– Beneath his flamboyant and comedic exterior, Hallworth is a deeply perceptive and empathetic individual who has conquered his own painful past. He has quietly dedicated himself to guiding others through their emotional struggles, using his design expertise as a tool for transformation and self-discovery.

Unspoken Wound:
– Hallworth’s recent breakup was the result of his partner’s infidelity, a betrayal that echoes Kirsten’s experience. This shared trauma fuels his compassion and unwavering commitment to helping Kirsten navigate her own journey of healing and personal growth.

Conspiracy:
– Unbeknownst to Kirsten, Hallworth has been in contact with her ex-husband, Jesse, working together to subtly influence Kirsten’s design choices in a misguided attempt to help her confront her unresolved emotions and move on.

Jesse (Antagonist)

Competition:
– As Kirsten’s redecoration project gains attention, Jesse feels compelled to showcase his own success and thriving new relationship. He engages in subtle one-upmanship, aiming to demonstrate that he has moved on and is flourishing without Kirsten, driven by a need to validate his decision to leave the marriage.

Hidden Agenda:
– Jesse’s impromptu visits to the mansion are part of a covert plan to maintain a cordial relationship with Kirsten for the sake of their shared daughter. He believes that by presenting a friendly and supportive front, he can minimize any potential negative impact on their child and secure his position as the “good” parent.

Secret:
– Despite his outward contentment, Jesse harbors a secret fear that his new relationship may not have the same depth and connection he once shared with Kirsten. He overcompensates by constantly emphasizing his new partner’s positive attributes and their exciting lifestyle, attempting to convince both himself and others of his happiness.

Deception:
– While Jesse appears to have fully embraced his new life, he occasionally exaggerates the extent of his globe-trotting adventures and the perfection of his new relationship. This embellishment stems from a desire to maintain a certain image and suppress any lingering doubts about his choices.

What I learned: These intriguing layers provide depth, complexity, and nuance to each character providing rich subtext for the actors to explore and for the audience to uncover as the story unfolds. The subtext created by these hidden agendas, secrets, and unspoken wounds enrich the narrative and provide ample opportunities for the actors to deliver multifaceted, compelling performances. By weaving intriguing layers into the narrative, it creates a more engaging and emotionally resonant story that keeps the audience invested in the characters’ journeys and eager to see how these layers will be revealed and resolved.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz’s Subtext Characters

I will sell a script for a million dollars.

Developing character subtext for my Drama Comedy screenplay.

Movie Title: I Love What You’ve Done To The Place

Character with the most subtext: Kirsten (Protagonist)

Kirsten’s Subtext:

Subtext Identity: A grieving divorcee struggling to reclaim her identity and move on from her past.
Subtext Trait: Avoidant, using the redecoration and destruction of the mansion as a means to cope with her emotional pain and maintain control.
Subtext Logline: Kirsten is a wealthy recent divorcee who, in an attempt to avoid confronting her deep-seated emotional trauma, immerses herself in the redecoration and ultimate destruction of the marital home she once shared with her ex-husband.

Possible Areas of Subtext:
– Hiding the depth of her emotional pain, grief, and feelings of failure related to her divorce, presenting a facade of coping to the outside world.
– Afraid to confront the reality that the mansion, despite its beauty and the memories it holds, no longer feels like home without her ex-husband.
– Secretly yearning for a fresh start but feeling guilty about letting go of the past and the dream she and her ex-husband built together.
– Luring herself into believing that material changes and the redecoration process can heal her emotional wounds and help her move on.
– Withholding her true feelings of emptiness and loss from friends and family, maintaining a facade of strength and resilience.
– Plotting to erase every trace of her ex-husband from the mansion as a way to regain control over her life and emotionally detach from the past.

Hallworth (Obstacle Character):

Subtext Identity: A charismatic gay decorator hiding his own emotional baggage and recent breakup behind his flamboyant, comedic persona.
Subtext Trait: Perceptive and empathetic, using his keen understanding of Kirsten’s emotional state and his own experiences to guide her journey of self-discovery.
Subtext Logline: Hallworth is an eccentric, talented interior designer who, while helping Kirsten transform her marital home, subtly confronts his own unresolved issues from a recent painful breakup.

Possible Areas of Subtext:
– Hiding his own vulnerability, heartbreak, and emotional pain behind his confident, comedic exterior and professional facade.
– Afraid to fully open up about his own recent breakup and struggles, focusing instead on supporting Kirsten through her journey.
– Secretly identifying with Kirsten’s emotional journey, seeing parallels to his own experiences and using them to guide her towards healing.
– Withholding his deeper emotions and personal struggles, using humor, wit, and his design expertise as a defense mechanism and a way to connect with Kirsten.
– Plotting to guide Kirsten towards the realization that true healing and moving on comes from within, not just from external changes to her environment.

Jesse (Antagonist):

Subtext Identity: A charming but self-centered ex-husband, masking his own guilt, regret, and unresolved feelings about the divorce with a carefree, nonchalant attitude.
Subtext Trait: Evasive and emotionally distant, avoiding genuine conversations about the impact of the divorce and his role in the breakdown of the marriage.
Subtext Logline: Jesse is a successful businessman who, while outwardly moving on with his life and new relationships, secretly harbors guilt, regret, and unresolved emotions about his failed marriage to Kirsten.

Possible Areas of Subtext:
– Hiding his own emotional struggles, guilt, and regrets about the divorce behind a facade of nonchalance and the appearance of having moved on.
– Afraid to confront the role he played in the breakdown of the marriage and the emotional impact of his actions on Kirsten.
– Secretly longing for a sense of closure, forgiveness, and validation from Kirsten, despite his outward indifference and avoidance.
– Lying to himself about being fully moved on from the marriage, using his new relationship and busy lifestyle as a distraction from his unresolved emotions.
– Withholding his true feelings of remorse, guilt, and the weight of his memories in the marital home, presenting a carefree, detached front to Kirsten and the world.
– Being polite and friendly in his interactions with Kirsten, masking the underlying tension, guilt, and the emotional significance of their shared history in the mansion.

Developing the subtext for each main character adds emotional depth, complexity, and relatability to their interactions and personal journeys. Kirsten’s subtext emphasizes her internal struggle with grief, the need for control, and the avoidance of confronting her deep-seated emotional pain. Hallworth’s subtext highlights his role as a supportive guide, drawing from his own recent heartbreak to empathize with and subtly challenge Kirsten’s coping mechanisms. Jesse’s subtext adds depth to his antagonistic presence, hinting at the unresolved guilt, regret, and the emotional impact of the divorce that lies beneath his nonchalant exterior.

Incorporating these subtextual elements throughout the narrative will create a richer, more nuanced story that explores the complexities of relationships, emotional healing, and personal growth in the face of significant life changes. The subtext will provide the actors with ample opportunities to bring emotional authenticity and depth to their performances, allowing the audience to connect more deeply with the characters and their journeys.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Actor Attractors!

Here are the Actor Attractors for each lead character in “I Love What You’ve Done To The Place”:

Kirsten (newly divorced) is the Protagonist
Hallworth (the interior designer) is the Obstacle Character who facilitates change for Kirsten.
Jesse (her ex-husband) is the Antagonist who causes her psychological angst

Kirsten (Protagonist)

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
– A complex, emotionally layered role that showcases a woman’s transformative journey from heartbreak to self-discovery and empowerment.
– The opportunity to portray a relatable, yet unconventional female lead who challenges societal norms and expectations surrounding divorce and personal growth.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the story?
– Kirsten’s unique approach to processing her divorce through the redecoration, renovation, and ultimately, the destruction of her marital home.
– The juxtaposition of her wealthy, put-together exterior with her internal emotional turmoil and the unconventional methods she employs to heal.

3. What are the most interesting actions Kirsten takes in the movie?
– Her decision to redecorate the mansion as a means of reclaiming her identity, despite the unorthodox nature of the solution.
– The cathartic and darkly humorous act of hosting “smashing parties” where she and other divorcees destroy items associated with their past marriages.
– The climactic moment where she decides to sell the mansion and burn it down, symbolizing her ultimate liberation from the past.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
– Kirsten is introduced as a wealthy, seemingly put-together divorcee grappling with the emotional fallout of her failed marriage, setting the stage for a compelling character arc.
– The mansion’s symbolism as a representation of her past and the emotional baggage she must confront is established early on, hinting at the depth and complexity of her journey.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?
– From the deep-seated pain and grief of her divorce to the moments of dark humor and catharsis as she navigates the redecoration process.
– The vulnerability and raw emotion she experiences during her breakthroughs and the ultimate sense of empowerment and self-discovery as she learns to let go.

6. What subtext can the actor play?
– The constant push and pull between her desire to move on and the comfort she finds in clinging to the familiar, even if it’s detrimental to her well-being.
– The unspoken fear and uncertainty that underlies her bold actions, as she grapples with redefining her identity and purpose post-divorce.

7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?
– The complex, emotionally charged dynamic with her ex-husband, Jesse, as his presence continues to impact her journey in unexpected ways.
– The evolving friendship and partnership with Hallworth, as he serves as a catalyst for her growth and offers a unique perspective on her situation.

8. How was this character’s unique voice presented?
– Through her witty, self-deprecating humor that serves as a coping mechanism and a way to process her pain.
– The evolution of her dialogue from tentative and guarded to self-assured and determined as she progresses on her journey.

9. What makes this character special and unique?
– Kirsten’s willingness to confront her emotional baggage head-on and her unconventional, yet relatable approach to healing and self-discovery.
– The way in which her story subverts traditional narratives about divorce and showcases the transformative power of letting go and starting anew.

10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
– In a scene where Kirsten is alone in the mansion, she walks through the space, touching the walls and reflecting on the memories each room holds. As she enters the bedroom she once shared with Jesse, she is overcome with a mix of grief and anger. In a moment of raw emotion, she begins to tear apart the room, ripping down curtains and smashing a vase against the wall. As she collapses onto the floor amidst the chaos, she starts to laugh through her tears, realizing the absurdity and catharsis of the moment. This scene showcases Kirsten’s emotional range, the subtext of her internal struggle, and the unique way in which she confronts her pain and begins to heal.

Hallworth (Obstacle Character)

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
– The opportunity to play a dynamic, scene-stealing supporting character who serves as both a source of humor and a catalyst for the protagonist’s growth.
– The chance to portray a complex, emotionally layered character whose own backstory and experiences inform his unique perspective and approach.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
– Hallworth’s unconventional methods and philosophical outlook on life and design, which challenge Kirsten’s preconceptions and push her out of her comfort zone.
– The way in which his own personal journey and experiences with heartbreak and self-discovery parallel and inform his role in Kirsten’s story.

3. What are the most interesting actions Hallworth takes in the movie?
– His unorthodox design choices and the way he uses the redecoration process as a tool for Kirsten’s emotional growth and self-discovery.
– The pivotal moment where he intervenes and helps Kirsten realize that true healing requires a change of place, not just a change of space.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
– Hallworth’s introduction immediately establishes his unique personality, charisma, and the transformative role he will play in Kirsten’s journey.
– His own recent experience with a painful breakup creates an instant connection and understanding with Kirsten, setting the stage for their complex and evolving relationship.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?
– From the witty, lighthearted banter that showcases his humor and charm to the moments of genuine empathy and vulnerability as he supports Kirsten through her struggles.
– The underlying depth and wisdom that emerges through his insights and the way he draws upon his own experiences to guide Kirsten.

6. What subtext can the actor play?
– The unspoken understanding and shared experience of navigating heartbreak and the process of self-discovery that informs his interactions with Kirsten.
– The subtle ways in which his own journey and emotional growth parallel and influence his approach to helping Kirsten navigate her own path.

7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?
– The dynamic, evolving friendship with Kirsten, as he serves as both a source of support and a catalyst for her growth and self-discovery.
– The potential for a complex, layered relationship with Jesse, as Hallworth’s role in Kirsten’s journey may challenge and redefine the dynamics between all three characters.

8. How was this character’s unique voice presented?
– Through his quick-witted, often irreverent humor and the way he uses design metaphors and philosophies to offer insights and challenge Kirsten’s perspective.
– The evolution of his communication style from lighthearted and playful to profound and empathetic as his relationship with Kirsten deepens and he becomes more invested in her journey.

9. What makes this character special and unique?
– Hallworth’s ability to use his design expertise and life experiences as tools for emotional healing and self-discovery, offering a fresh and unconventional approach to the traditional “therapist” role.
– The way in which his own story and emotional journey are woven into the narrative, adding depth and complexity to his character and his impact on Kirsten’s growth.

10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
– In a scene where Kirsten is struggling with the decision to sell the mansion, Hallworth finds her sitting on the floor of the empty living room. He sits down beside her, offering a listening ear and gentle encouragement. Through a heartfelt conversation, Hallworth shares his own story of letting go and starting anew, using humor and honesty to help Kirsten see the possibilities that lie ahead. As they talk, Hallworth’s unique perspective and ability to reframe Kirsten’s challenges become apparent, showcasing the depth and impact of his character. The scene highlights Hallworth’s emotional range, the subtext of his own experiences, and the special role he plays in Kirsten’s journey.

Jesse (Antagonist)

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
– The opportunity to play a nuanced, non-traditional antagonist whose presence and actions drive the emotional conflict and growth of the protagonist.
– The chance to showcase the subtleties and depth of a character who is not overtly villainous, but whose impact on the story is significant and far-reaching.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
– Jesse’s role as a catalyst for Kirsten’s emotional journey and the way in which his presence and their shared history continue to shape her path forward.
– The complexity of his character as a representation of the past Kirsten must confront and the challenges she must overcome to truly move on.

3. What are the most interesting actions Jesse takes in the movie?
– His unexpected visits to the mansion, which serve as emotional triggers for Kirsten and force her to confront the lingering impact of their relationship.
– The subtle, often unintentional ways in which his words and actions remind Kirsten of their shared past and the emotional baggage she carries.
– The potential for a confrontation or moment of closure that highlights the emotional weight of their relationship

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
– Jesse’s introduction establishes the weight of his presence in Kirsten’s life and the emotional hold their past continues to have on her.
– The way in which his character is presented hints at the depth and complexity of their shared history and the challenges Kirsten will face in moving forward.

5. What is this character’s emotional range?
– From the moments of nostalgia and reflection on their past relationship to the underlying tension and unresolved emotions that surface through their interactions.
– The potential for moments of vulnerability or self-reflection as he navigates his own post-divorce life and the impact of their shared history.

6. What subtext can the actor play?
– The unspoken weight of their shared past and the emotional baggage that lingers beneath the surface of their interactions.
– The internal struggle between moving on and the pull of familiarity and comfort that their history represents.

7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?
– The complex, emotionally charged relationship with Kirsten, as their past continues to influence and shape their present in unexpected ways.
– The potential for a layered, evolving dynamic with Hallworth, as he represents the change and growth that challenges the status quo of Jesse and Kirsten’s relationship.

8. How was this character’s unique voice presented?
– Through the subtle, often unintentional ways in which his words and actions trigger emotional responses in Kirsten and force her to confront their shared past.
– The underlying tension and depth beneath his seemingly casual or innocuous interactions with Kirsten, hinting at the complexity of their history and the impact of their divorce.

9. What makes this character special and unique?
– Jesse’s role as an emotional antagonist, driving Kirsten’s growth and self-discovery through the weight of their shared past and the challenges it presents.
– The nuanced, non-traditional nature of his character, as he represents the complexities and emotional fallout of divorce without falling into stereotypical “villain” archetypes.

10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
– In a scene where Jesse unexpectedly visits the newly renovated mansion, he walks through the space, commenting on the changes and reminiscing about their past. As he enters the living room, he notices a familiar painting on the wall, one that he and Kirsten had purchased together on a trip years ago. He remarks on the painting, expressing surprise that she kept it. The comment, though seemingly innocent, strikes a chord with Kirsten, reminding her of the deep emotional ties that still linger. Jesse’s presence and the subtle emotional trigger he provides showcase the complexity of his character and the impact he has on Kirsten’s journey. The scene highlights the emotional range the actor can bring to the role, the subtext of their shared history, and the unique challenge Jesse presents as an antagonist in Kirsten’s story.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Genre Conventions

Vision: I want to sell a script for $1,000,000.

Genre: Drama Comedy

High Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle.
Kirsten (newly divorced) is the Protagonist
Jesse (her ex-husband) is the Antagonist who causes her psychological angst
Hallworth (the interior designer) is the Obstacle Character who facilitates change for Kirsten.

Story Hook: Determined to erase every trace of her ex-husband from their dream home, the divorcee’s redecoration escalates to breaking every item ever associated with him.

4-Act Structure with both Drama and Comedy genre conventions incorporated:

Act 1:
Opening: Kirsten, a wealthy and seemingly put-together divorcee, wins the lavish mansion in the settlement. Despite the house’s grandiose beauty, she feels suffocated by the memories it holds, struggling to imagine a future within its walls. Her internal turmoil and the house’s symbolic representation of her failed marriage set the stage for a deeply emotional journey, peppered with moments of comedic incongruence as she navigates her new reality.

Inciting Incident: Against her previous designer’s advice to sell and move on, Kirsten impulsively decides to redecorate the mansion to make it her own, believing that transforming the space will help her heal and reclaim her identity. This decision showcases her inner struggle and sets the stage for her character-driven journey of self-discovery and emotional healing, while also introducing the potential for amusing situations as she embarks on this unconventional path.

Turning Point: Kirsten hires Hallworth, a charismatic, flamboyant, and insightful designer who has recently gone through a painful breakup himself. Their shared experience of heartbreak creates an instant connection, hinting at the profound emotional challenges they will face together as Kirsten confronts her past and redefines her future. The incongruent pairing of the prim and proper Kirsten with the eccentric Hallworth sets the stage for comedic interactions and witty banter.

Act 2:
New Plan: Kirsten and Hallworth collaborate on the redecoration, with Hallworth gently pushing Kirsten to step outside her comfort zone and make bolder choices. As they work together, Kirsten begins to open up about her emotional pain, revealing the depth of her attachment to the house and the memories it holds. Their conversations are sprinkled with humorous anecdotes and lighthearted moments, balancing the emotional weight of Kirsten’s journey.

Plan in Action: During their field trips to find the perfect decorations, Kirsten and Hallworth engage in heartfelt conversations about love, loss, and the challenges of moving on. Each carefully selected item becomes a symbol of Kirsten’s emotional journey, reflecting her gradual transformation and the shedding of her past. The beautifully redecorated house serves as a tangible representation of her progress. Along the way, they encounter amusing situations and eccentric characters that provide comedic relief and showcase the incongruence of Kirsten’s posh lifestyle with the often chaotic and unpredictable world of interior design.

Midpoint Turning Point: Jesse’s unexpected visit and comment about the unchanged fireplace shatters Kirsten’s illusion of progress, forcing her to confront the painful reality that cosmetic changes alone cannot erase the deep-seated emotional scars left by her failed marriage. This realization marks a turning point in her journey, setting the stage for a more profound and painful process of self-discovery. The awkwardness of the encounter and Kirsten’s reaction provide a touch of dark humor, underscoring the absurdity of her situation.

Act 3:
Rethink Everything: Determined to fully eradicate Jesse’s presence, Kirsten decides to pursue a gut renovation. As the demolition begins, she is forced to confront the raw emotions and buried memories that resurface with each shattered piece of her past life. Hallworth supports her through this emotionally charged process, helping her navigate the complex feelings of grief, anger, and fear that emerge. The destruction of the house serves as a metaphor for Kirsten’s emotional catharsis, with moments of physical comedy and witty one-liners from Hallworth providing levity amidst the chaos.

New Plan: The remodeling takes on a cathartic and destructive turn as Kirsten finds solace in breaking the items that once defined her marriage. Each shattered object represents a piece of her past that she must let go of to truly heal and move forward. Hallworth encourages her to embrace the transformative power of this painful but necessary process. The act of breaking objects becomes a source of dark humor, with Kirsten finding unexpected joy in the destruction and Hallworth providing amusing commentary on the therapeutic benefits of smashing expensive vases.

Turning Point: Despite the stunning remodel, Kirsten is haunted by the persistent feeling of Jesse’s presence lingering in the house. She reaches an emotional low point, feeling trapped and unsure of how to move forward. The weight of her failed marriage and the memories tied to the house leave her feeling hopeless and stuck, desperate for a way to break free from the past. In a moment of comedic despair, Kirsten dramatically collapses on a newly upholstered chaise lounge, lamenting her predicament to an amused but sympathetic Hallworth.

Act 4:
Pre-Climax: In a last-ditch effort to start anew, Kirsten decides to demolish the mansion completely and rebuild a new home from scratch on the same property. She believes that by erasing every physical trace of the house she shared with Jesse, she can finally move on and create a life untethered to her painful memories. The absurdity of her plan and the shocked reactions of those around her provide moments of situational comedy, as Kirsten becomes increasingly determined to eradicate her past.

Climax: As the bulldozer and wrecking ball arrive, ready to destroy the house, Hallworth intervenes in a comedic, yet poignant scene. In a moment of clarity, he helps Kirsten realize that Jesse’s presence is inextricably linked to the property itself, and that no amount of physical demolition or rebuilding can erase the profound impact of their shared history. This realization leads to a profound emotional breakthrough for Kirsten, as she finally understands the true nature of moving on – that it requires not just a change of space, but a change of place. The absurdity of the situation and the juxtaposition of the heartfelt moment with the looming presence of the demolition crew creates a blend of humor and emotional depth.

With newfound clarity, Kirsten makes the heart-wrenching decision to sell the property altogether. She recognizes that her emotional well-being depends on starting fresh in a new location, free from the shadows of her past. As a final act of liberation and symbolic cleansing, Kirsten sets fire to the mansion, watching as the flames consume the last remnants of her painful memories. The visual of Kirsten walking off the property as the mansion blazes behind her, a determined look on her face, provides a darkly comedic and triumphant moment of release.

Resolution: Flash forward. Empowered by her decision to let go, Kirsten now lives in a new home in a location untainted by her past. Settled into her new life, she experiences a profound sense of peace, contentment, and self-discovery. The journey has been one of intense emotional challenges and personal growth, but through the support of Hallworth and her own determination, Kirsten has emerged stronger, wiser, and ready to embrace a future filled with possibilities. She has learned that true healing comes from within and that sometimes, the bravest act of all is to leave the past behind and start anew. In a final comedic moment, Kirsten and Hallworth share a laugh as they toast to new beginnings, their friendship a testament to the transformative power of humor and shared experiences.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz's 4 Act Transformational Structure

Vision: I want to sell a million dollar script.

Genre: Dramedy

High Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

Kirsten (newly divorced) is the Protagonist

Main Conflict: Kirsten's struggle to move on from her past is complicated by her attachment to the marital home and the memories it holds, as well as Jesse's lingering presence.

Kirsten's Old Ways:
– Emotionally attached to her past life and the mansion filled with memories of her marriage.
– Reluctant to make significant changes, clinging to the comfort and familiarity of her marital home.
– Hesitant to face the societal implications of her divorce, allowing public perception to influence her decisions.

Kirsten's New Ways:
– Emotionally resilient, having processed and released her attachment to her past and the mansion, finding strength in her independence and new beginnings.
– Proactive and courageous in making life-altering decisions, embracing change as a necessary pathway to growth.
– Confident and indifferent to societal judgments, prioritizing her personal well-being and happiness over public opinion.

4-Act Outline
Act 1:
• Opening: Kirsten, newly divorced and depressed, wins the Malibu mansion in the divorce settlement but feels trapped by the memories it holds.
• Inciting Incident: Despite her previous decorator's suggestion to sell, Kirsten decides to redecorate the mansion to make it her own.
• Turning Point: Kirsten hires Hallworth, a flamboyant and insightful interior designer who recently went through a breakup himself.

Act 2:
• New Plan: Kirsten and Hallworth collaborate on the redecoration, with Hallworth pushing Kirsten out of her comfort zone.
• Plan in Action: They go on field trips, hunting for perfect decorations, and the makeover turns out wonderfully.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Jesse visits and comments on the unchanged fireplace, making Kirsten realize that redecoration wasn't enough.

Act 3:
• Rethink Everything: Kirsten decides to pursue a full gut renovation to erase every trace of Jesse from the house.
• New Plan: The remodeling takes a destructive turn as Kirsten finds catharsis in breaking items associated with Jesse.
• Turning Point: Despite the perfect remodeling, Kirsten can't shake the feeling of Jesse's presence haunting the home.

Act 4:
• Pre-Climax: Kirsten decides to demolish the mansion and rebuild entirely.
• Climax: Kirsten decides to sell the property and burn down the mansion as a symbolic act of liberation.
• Resolution: Kirsten builds a new home in a location untainted by her past, finding peace, contentment, and self-discovery.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Subtext Plots

Vision: I want to sell a script for a million dollars.

Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

Subtext plots for my Drama Comedy screenplay “I Love What You’ve Done To The Place,” each designed to add depth and intrigue to the main narrative but also serves to deepen the thematic resonance of the screenplay, making it more engaging and thought-provoking for the audience, all of which can enhance the commercial viability of the screenplay.

2. **Layering: “Unveiling Shadows”**
– **Subtext Plot:** As Kirsten redesigns rooms and tears down walls, she uncovers layers of her own repressed memories and emotions tied to her marriage with Jesse. Each design change in the mansion metaphorically reveals a deeper layer of Kirsten’s past relationship and her own identity.
– **Deeper Meaning:** This plot symbolizes the painful yet necessary process of confronting and healing from past traumas to move forward in life.

**2. Layering: Uncovering Hidden Stories**
– **Subtext Plot:** As Kirsten and Hallworth redecorate and remodel the mansion, each piece of art and furniture they choose is not only aesthetically significant but also carries a hidden story or significance that Kirsten is initially unaware of. For instance, a seemingly ordinary mirror might have been owned by a famous actress who also went through a public and painful divorce. As they continue their hunt for the perfect finds, each item’s backstory is revealed, helping Kirsten to see her own situation in a new light.
– **Deeper Meaning:** This plot uses the field trips and the items they collect as metaphors for uncovering hidden layers of personal history and emotion. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and integrating these past stories to shape one’s future, reflecting the journey from superficial changes to deep, personal transformation. This version strengthens the Layering concept by introducing elements that have hidden meanings or backstories, which when revealed, add depth to Kirsten’s emotional journey and her understanding of her own past and desires for the future.

**4. The Fish Out of Water: Breaking Ground**
– **Subtext Plot:** Kirsten, a wealthy upper-class woman with no prior experience in demolition or renovation, finds herself in the unlikely role of a demolition leader. As she embarks on a gut renovation to erase every trace of ex-husband from their dream home, she adopts an unconventional approach: hosting “smashing” parties. These events, initially intended as a therapeutic release, quickly turn into a symbol of empowerment for the divorced community. Kirsten, wielding sledgehammers and chainsaws, transforms from a glamorous figure to a demolition icon, shattering not just physical objects but also societal expectations about how a woman should cope with divorce.
– **Deeper Meaning:** This plot underscores the theme of empowerment through destruction. By stepping into a role traditionally associated with physical strength and aggression—domains often reserved for men—Kirsten challenges gender norms and redefines her identity. The act of breaking items associated with her past is not just about physical destruction but also about reclaiming her space and autonomy. Each shattered piece represents a step away from her past constraints and a move towards self-determination. The “smashing” parties serve as a communal catharsis, providing a space for others to join her in breaking free from their emotional shackles, thus highlighting the transformative power of shared vulnerability and strength. This narrative not only entertains but also delivers a powerful message about resilience and the unconventional paths to healing and self-discovery.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Transformational Journey

Vision: I will sell a script for a million dollars.

For my Drama Comedy screenplay titled "I Love What You've Done To The Place," focusing on the protagonist Kirsten, a divorcee, here is the detailed Transformational Journey:

**Protagonist: Kirsten**

**Arc Begins:** Kirsten is a newly divorced wealthy woman in her 40s, living in the dream home she built with her ex-husband. Kirsten perceives the mansion as a symbol of the stability and love that her marriage once provided. It represents a life of glamour, success, and emotional fulfillment. This perception is deeply ingrained, making the mansion a cherished space filled with beautiful memories. However, this is also a distorted view because it glosses over the underlying issues that led to her divorce. This home represents her past life and marriage but serves as a constant reminder of her failed marriage. Living there, she feels trapped in the tainted memories, keeping her emotionally and physically tethered to Jesse and unable to move on with her life.

**Arc Ends:** The harsh reality is that her current life in the mansion is not stable or fulfilling. Post-divorce, the mansion is a constant reminder of her loss and loneliness, contradicting the stability it once symbolized. It's a large, overwhelming space that now feels odd and melancholic, a physical manifestation of her current emotional state. Kirsten becomes a liberated individual who has emotionally and physically detached from her past by selling and symbolically burning down the mansion. As a symbol of renewal and self-reliance, she is now ready to embrace new beginnings, a new identity, and a peaceful future.

**Internal Journey:** Kirsten transitions from a state of emotional dependency on her past and the physical embodiment of it (the mansion) to a state of self-awareness and emotional independence. She learns to let go of her attachments and redefine her sense of self outside of her marital history.

**External Journey:** Kirsten undertakes the physical act of transforming her home, which parallels her internal journey of healing and self-discovery. This includes deciding to sell the mansion and the symbolic act of burning it down, representing her final break from her past.

**Old Ways:**
– Emotionally attached to her past life and the mansion filled with memories of her marriage.
– Reluctant to make significant changes, clinging to the comfort and familiarity of her marital home, fearing the loss of what was familiar and safe.
– Hesitant to face the societal implications of her divorce, allowing public perception to influence her decisions.

**New Ways:**
– Emotionally resilient, having processed and released her attachment to her past and the mansion, finding strength in her independence and new beginnings.
– Proactive and courageous in making life-altering decisions, embracing change as a necessary pathway to growth.
– Confident and indifferent to societal judgments, prioritizing her personal well-being and happiness over public opinion.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz’s Intentional Lead Characters

My Vision: I want to sell a script for a million dollars.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

KIRSTEN

Main Character: Kirsten, newly divorced and wealthy in her 40s, grappling with her recent divorce and the lingering presence of her ex-husband in their dream home.

Role: Protagonist

Journey: Kirsten’s journey involves emotionally and physically detaching from her past life with Jesse, symbolized by the transformation of their shared dream home. Kirsten actively seeks to redefine her life and self-concept through the radical act of home transformation, embodying the high concept of moving out to move on. This process is not just about desiring a new beginning; it involves a detailed envisioning of her new life—each decision, sacrifice, and consequence—creating a compelling and relatable story.

Unique: Kirsten’s unique position as a wealthy woman provides her with the means and public visibility, complicating her personal healing process and making her actions influential and scrutinized. However, she is also the Prototypical Divorcee: Kirsten embodies the typical American woman navigating the aftermath of a divorce. She initially follows the conventional “divorcee playbook,” which includes fighting for the family home as a means of retaining some semblance of her previous life. Her adherence to these societal norms makes her a relatable character for many women in similar situations, providing a familiar starting point from which her unique journey begins. Kirsten is both a mirror to the audience’s potential experiences and a beacon of personal growth and resilience, making her journey both relatable and inspirational within the narrative framework of dealing with divorce.

Intentional: Throughout her interactions with decorator Hallworth and the process of transforming her home, Kirsten develops a deep insight into the systemic challenges that often disadvantage women in her position. Her journey is marked by a growing awareness that the societal expectation to “win” the house might actually be a pyrrhic victory. This realization propels her towards a more liberated and self-defined future, making her actions and decisions a powerful narrative force that drives the story towards a broader commentary on personal recovery and redefinition after divorce.

HALLWORTH

Character: Hallworth is a flamboyant, humorous, and candid gay decorator, renowned for his talent in transforming spaces.

Role: Connected Triangle Character – he introduces conflict and complexity into the dynamic between Kirsten and Jesse, enriching the narrative’s emotional depth.

Journey: Hallworth’s journey with Kirsten extends beyond mere redecoration; he becomes a pivotal figure in helping her confront and process her emotional traumas. Their collaboration evolves into a deep friendship, making them partners in healing. His openness about his own recent traumatic breakup provides a stark contrast to Kirsten’s more reserved demeanor, facilitating profound emotional explorations and mutual support.

Unique: Hallworth’s distinctiveness lies in his flamboyance and openness, coupled with his unique perspective as a gay man. This allows him to challenge Kirsten’s perspectives more effectively, offering insights that are both refreshing and confronting. His personal experience with heartbreak adds a layer of empathy and understanding to his interactions with Kirsten, enhancing his ability to support her emotionally. Rooted in his own experiences of heartbreak and renewal, he offers her a unique perspective on the transformative power of changing one’s environment.

Intentional: Hallworth catalyzes Kirsten’s transformation by challenging her to rethink her life and the spaces she inhabits. Hallworth sees through illusions and pretenses, always seeking the truth and substance in any situation. He is not easily swayed by appearances and is often skeptical of anything that does not meet their strict definitions of reality. He encourages her to make bold decisions in redecorating the mansion, which serves as a metaphor for her internal transformation. Driven by a desire to help Kirsten break free from her past, his approach transcends physical changes, urging her to alter her perceptions and emotional attachments.

Intentional: Hallworth provides moral guidance and support. He protects and aids Kirsten on her journey towards emotional and physical transformation, ensuring that each step she takes is aligned with her goal of reimagining her life.

JESSE

Character: Jesse, Kirsten’s callous but evil ex-husband, wealthy businessman, had a midlife crisis and affair, agreed to the divorce, he wants to be amicable with his wife as they still share a daughter in college.

Role: Antagonist – Jesse disrupts Kirsten’s journey towards emotional independence. His recurring visits to the mansion stir unresolved feelings and challenge Kirsten’s efforts to redefine her life.

Journey: Jesse represents stasis rather than change. He is a consistent presence and a thorn in Kirsten’s side, embodying the challenges she faces in moving forward. His disruptions are impactful because they occur in a space filled with shared memories, making it harder for Kirsten to detach.

Unique: Jesse’s role as the ex-husband, intertwined with the physical space of the mansion, adds a tangible layer to the emotional conflict. He helped design and decorate the dream house with Kirsten and designer Susie Marlow, so his influence lingers in most aspects of the home, and some areas like the garage, gym, hot tub, and fountain epitomize his presence.

Intentional: Jesse embodies the past Kirsten is trying to escape. His presence is a constant reminder of their former life together, thus directly opposing her goal of moving on.

Contrasting Lifestyle Post-Divorce: Jesse epitomizes the notion of a husband who, now free from his marital home, quickly moves on. With his half of the marital property not tied up in the equity of the house, he rents a furnished bachelor pad, dates actively, and enjoys vacations around the world with a new girlfriend. This lifestyle starkly contrasts with Kirsten’s more introspective and challenging post-divorce experience. The narrative may include scenes where Kirsten, either through looking at Jesse’s Facebook or hearing from friends, learns about his new life. These moments highlight the disparity in their post-divorce experiences and add to Kirsten’s emotional turmoil. The film focuses on Jesse’s life only when he interacts with Kirsten at the mansion, maintaining the narrative’s focus on her perspective and journey.

[Michael Katz]

Michael E. Katz's Title, Concept, and Character Structure

Vision: I aspire to be a masterful screenwriter, crafting scripts that captivate and entertain, securing my financial independence through consistent million-dollar script sales, and leaving a lasting legacy with a film that transcends time. And start by selling the following…

Title: I Love What You've Done To The Place

Genre: Drama Comedy

High Concept: What if the only way for a divorcee to truly move on is to move out of the dream home she built with her ex…and burn it down?

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz

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GROUP RELEASE FORM

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1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Michael Katz]

I’m looking to get my first sale. I know I’m taking the right course, and I know I’m in the right community.

I’m going to write a new, smaller idea I have during this course, but I also foolishly hope to be able to rewrite 3 other screenplays during this course that are commercially viable.

Addicted to coffee, I drink Yoo-hoo, I love me a philly soft pretzel, but you lose me with mustard.

[Michael Katz]

For me: also…keep moving forward)))

[Michael Katz]

I did not have time to finish making the 2nd half written out and readable, but it should be decent enough to get the gist.

It’s supposed to be an Action Thriller, a reverse James Bond.

If interested in the subject matter, please just proceed with feedback and I will provide feedback in return (and I am open to all subject matters).

Please either Reply to this entry here with feedback or email me directly at gmichael.gkatz@gmail.com. I can provide feedback in return tonight! Thanks!

MEGALOMANIAC – Thriller MAP Version 1

ACT I

1. OPENING – EXT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – BACKYARD OF A HOUSE – DAY

10-year-old Viktor, with an overly concerned expression, uses a magnifying glass and tweezers to caringly take out a splinter out from a cat’s paw. Then he accidentally discovers solar ignition and uses the magnifying glass to burn dried leaves. Unfortunately, he accidentally fries an ant to death, and cries up at the sun in shame with tears streaming down his face. Camera pushes into the sun.

2. OPENING Continuous as it transitions into a video presentation.

Camera pulls back from the sun and lands on several heartbreaking examples of Earth devastated by global warming. Suddenly we’re blinded by the beauty of a Swedish bombshell sunbathing in a sexy bikini on a beautiful beach. This is the narrator, Imelyna Michaels, a world-famous actress, and passionate environmental activist. “Space solar is the solution to all of the world’s problems.” The silhouette of a long, vertical space station flies across the sun like E.T. across the moon. Chyron: Space Solar. The middle section of the space station is made up of a column of humongous magnifying lenses. “Clean. Safe. Sustainable.” A beam of light grows brighter and thicker as it travels down through each of the successive magnifying lenses. “All the energy the world will ever need.” With a low ferocious pitch, a monstrous and continuous beam of blinding energy bursts out from the bottom of the space station and speeds toward Earth and in seconds is absorbed by a giant Tesla coil attached to a skyscraper peeking through the clouds. Back to Imelyna on the beach: “Visionary and revolutionary inventor, Viktor Katz, will end the world’s reliance on fossil fuels, end global warming, and save the world.”

3. INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT – OPEN WORKSPACE

Video ends, the lights come up, and University of Vienna President calls out to the large group of 50 investors to join him around a veiled prototype. Viktor notices a lone investor, an American named Ratliff, standing suspiciously by the prototype, and walks quickly over to him. Ratliff says he’s extremely impressed with Viktor as he is being gently escorted back to group.

4. CONTINUOUS: The President praises Viktor’s vision, his achievement, and him as a sacrificing man of conscience. As Viktor listens appreciably, Imelyna slides up next to Viktor and cozies up to him with flirtatious praise of her own. However, Viktor is uncomfortable and rebuffs Imelyna, just wanting to focus on his work.

5. CONTINUOUS: The President introduces Viktor, who addresses the investors. He is worried that the world isn’t concerned enough about the future consequences of their actions. “While some are living for today, I have been worried about our future.” He sees the promise of the sun and has worked altruistically and long and hard, doesn’t want to sell out, just wants to see this project through. “I just want to make my mark on the world.” But I can’t do this alone, and he needs conscientious investors who share his vision to help build out this technology. Unseen, Ratliff’s voice interjects accusatorily, “Is this thing even safe?” Viktor can’t find Ratliff, but replies confidently that “It’s already been thoroughly tested and verified. It’s just a question of construction and distribution. Round 2 investors: enjoy the demonstration. But, yes, Mr. Ratliff, please put on your protective sunglasses because the beams are in fact a danger to your eyes.”

6. INCITING INCIDENT

Viktor’s partner starts the demonstration, powering up the prototype. Imelyna presses the start button. A continuous sunbeam is fired down through the prototype, magnifying in brightness and power as it travels through the successively powerful magnifying lenses. However, when the beam fires into Tesla coil on the battery receptable, is reflects the light like a mirror ball, sending thousands of continuous laser beams rotating around the room. Scorching their paths. The crowd screams and panics, scattering and diving to the ground. Viktor instinctively protects Imelyna by bringing her to the ground just in time as a heat ray barely misses her. However, Viktor’s sunglasses fly off his face, his eyes no longer protected from the intense lights. He is mesmerized by the circling white laser beams, and for him, the room silences except for the sounds of slicing and scorching. Then he loses his sight. From his POV, the middle of his vision is black, and only out of the corners of his eyes does he have peripheral vision. He now has solar retinopathy, which is burned out retinas from looking at the intense lights. He has blind spots in the center of his vision but still can see peripherally. For the rest of the movie Viktor’s signature gesture will be to always have his head turned slightly to one side or the other. The partner turns off the machine just before being struck by a beam. Viktor, fully perplexed, runs to the prototype and pulls out of the bottom of the receiver a miniature mirror ball. Wincing, blinking, and squinting in pain, Viktor sees his partner burning on the ground. The building is on fire, Viktor partially blinded, and his partner killed. Viktor sees out of the corner of his eye Ratliff slipping out of the backdoor.

7. EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – MOMENTS LATER

Victor pursues Ratliff into the alley seeking justice/revenge. He tries to apprehend Ratliff, and is willing to fight him. “What is wrong with you?” However, suddenly Ratliff exhibits world class fighting skills and easily takes down Viktor. Ratliff steals back the mirror ball evidence. Ratliff threatens Viktor, “Find another career, or I will destroy your whole world.” Viktor is defiant, “Do you work for one of the companies we turned down?” “It’s in my discretion to kill you right here, right now. So look at me, sideways, Viktor. No space solar. Or else there will be deadly consequences.” Ratliff looks at Viktor, who is trembling, but gazes into his soul for a moment, becomes freaked out by what he sees, and fearfully shoots Viktor twice in the chest.

8. INT. HOSPITAL – EMERGENCY ROOM – NIGHT

With eyes bandaged, a disheveled Viktor sits sadly on the side of the bed listening in disbelief as President of the University of Vienna, points an accusatory finger at him. He blames him and shuts down the project, fires him, promises a lawsuit brought by the university and investors, and his career is over. President leaves to talk to partner’s grieving widow. Imelyna enters, upset and concerned for Viktor’s wellbeing. She says the news and social media are blaming him. She is incredulous. However, Viktor retreats into a traumatized psychological state. A Vienna Detective enters, asks for a selfie with Imelyna, which she happily grants, announces that Viktor is under arrest, to her protest, and escorts Viktor past Imelyna and out of the room.

9. INT. POLICE STATION – INTERROGATION ROOM – LATER

In front of a video camera and many officers, Viktor, low energy, and not all there, guesses it was corporate espionage. Detective reports that there is no trace of any American fitting Ratliff’s description in Vienna or all of Austria. And they have no evidence of the sabotage, no surveillance footage, and witnesses don’t corroborate Viktor’s story of a belligerent investor. “It’s not looking good for you, Viktor.” Viktor realizes he has forgotten something and takes out from his jacket pocket the magnifying glass that he had as a kid with two bullets imbedded into the glass. He points to the bullets imbedded in the glass. “Look closer.” Detective looks around the room, realizing the significance of the evidence and relents that he will investigate further. He will release Viktor. However, he is still a person under suspicion and cannot go near the crime scene or leave town.

10. EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER

A CHAUFFEUR waits by a limousine. Imelyna exits the station door with a subdued Viktor, guiding him into the limousine. “You saved my life! Of course I have to do this! And you were shot! I can’t believe any of this!” She warns him about not going home because his home may not be safe since he was supposed to be dead. She insists that he can stay with her at her hotel. “I promise I won’t flirt with you, even though I am a little aroused. TMI, I know, but you did save my life, so you understand…OK, shhhh, Imelyna, he needs sleep!”

11. INT. HOTEL SACHER WIEN – PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – THE NEXT DAY

Imelyna removes the bandages on his Viktor’s eyes. He may be permanently blind in the center of his vision. However, he’s looking better. He appreciates Imelyna’s help, and apologizes for being cold to her. They discuss the sabotage. As a supporter of various philanthropic endeavors, she has heard rumors of other creatives being sabotaged, though not to this extent. She impresses upon Viktor how important his work is to the world. He must continue. She wants Viktor to promise to continue his work on space solar “at all costs”. He is afraid. She suggests he relocate, and she’ll even take him to America and support him. He says no. He is not allowed to leave, plus he’s got to clean up his mess and straighten out his relationship with the university. He’s not one to shirk his responsibilities. She is about to flirt, but Viktor rebuffs her flatly.

12. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT – EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – LATER

Imelyna drops Viktor off, repeats her offer, and says goodbye. Viktor returns to his warehouse but workers are emptying out its contents. Viktor goes around back to find Ratliff loading his prototype, research, and equipment onto a truck. Viktor is shocked and doesn’t know what to do. He gets an idea, reaches into his jacket, but remembers he no longer has his magnifying glass. Using ingenuity, he polishes the bottom of a coke can and uses solar ignition to blow up his prototype. It explodes into a giant fireball, and Ratliff is knocked to the ground. He scans the area, and is frustrated that he doesn’t see anyone.

13. EXT. SIDE STREET – CONTINUOUS

Viktor runs for his life. He makes a phone call. “I promise. At all costs. But I also want a part in your next movie.”

ACT II

14. INT. IMELYNA’S MALIBU BEACH HOUSE MANSION – DAY

Viktor is unsure how to start his life over from scratch. Imelyna tells him her story of how when she moved from Sweden to Los Angeles to pursue acting that she changed her name. Viktor likes the idea and safety of creating a new identity, especially if he is again going to pursue space solar. He decides on Michael. She sets him up in a room overlooking the breaking waves. They discuss starting small with a small commercial product and testing the waters. He has doubts but starts brainstorming to create a new invention.

15. EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – SUNSET

Imelyna shows off her exotic car collection to Michael. He chooses the Rolls but she vetoes it for an old-school, souped-up Hummer. She drives them to a restaurant. She is a fast, wild driver, and she extols the virtues of using the Hummer to intimidate other cars out of the way, as if she were a cop. Imelyna zig zags through traffic, creating several dangerous close calls with other cars. Suddenly the police are chasing her. More dangerous close calls with other cars, but she bullies her way right into a fancy restaurant valet.

16. EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

As she is climbing down the Hummer, an officer politely asks her if they could have a photo with her. She agrees and the cop hands his phone to an astonished Michael, who takes the photo.

17. INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – LATER

Michael and Imelyna have an intimate dinner. Michael is beside himself trying various amazing foods. He tells her his idea for a magnifier for solar panels, which would increase sun absorption efficiency by 10 times. They are happy.

18. EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT – LATER

As they exit, a paparazzi pushes Vikto out of the way to get a better angle of Imelyna. Michael takes offense and tries to push and trip the guy, but the guy is experienced and slippery, causing Michael to lose his balance and fall on the ground. He is angry and embarrassed.

19. INT. IMELYNA’S MALIBU BEACH HOUSE MANSION – DAY

Imelyna shows Michael social media, a photo of her looking beautiful, with him on the ground, face shielded, and the description, “Paparazzi protects A-lister Imelyna from rabid fan”. She’s thankful that it did not reveal his face/identity, and, though he is fuming about the embarrassment, he promises to stay out of the limelight. Imelyna invites her brother to come over to teach Michael how to fight. Her brother used to be a violent person, but is now a successful stunt actor for Chris Hemsworth. Now he is a man of peace and won’t teach Michael how to fight, but only self-defense. Imelyna is strong, graceful, grapples well, however Michael is distraught because his trauma resurfaces and he is so out of his element. Brother suggests he needs an immediate meditation intervention.

20. EXT. BEACH – DAY

Imelyna’s progressive friends surround Michael in a circle. They are smoking and doing drugs. Michael relents and tries acid, with the promise that it will help him process and let go of his trauma. Guitars, drum circle, progressive women spouting inspirational hymns. Close up on Michael as he breaks down and cries. We can tell he is having a vision, and undergoing a clarifying change, though no one is privy to the exact experience. Michael opens his eyes, and calmly declares that he found his inner animal spirit: “I’m either a cat or an ant.” Everyone snickers and the group laughs, stands, and starts dancing. Michael looks at Imelyna hungrily, and she pretends to be a sexy cat as she crawls toward him. They share a kiss that grows increasingly passionate.

21. INT. BEDROOM – LATER

Michael, unburdened, unafraid, makes passionate love to Imelyna. Lying together afterwards, Michael admits his deep feelings for Imelyna. Imelyna grabs a remote control, presses a button, all the lights in the house go out, and she starts giggling in the darkness, intriguing Michael. Imelyna presses another button, and the ceiling to her bedroom retracts, revealing a marvelously clear bright starry sky. Michael is in awe. She’s wanted to show him this for a long time. He thanks her for rescuing him, and promises to figure out a path to space solar…at all costs. Plus, he has an idea…

22. INT. MAKESHIFT LABORATORY INSIDE AN OFFICE IN HER HOUSE – DAY

Michael opens a package of sand samples. He invents a layer to install on the backside of solar panels to absorb the infrared radiation that the Earth emits back into the atmosphere every night. Michael explains the process as Imelyna looks through a microscope at a particular type of sand found only in a remote area of the world that makes it all possible.

22. EXT. SMALL PLANE FLYING ALONG HIGHWAY 10 TOWARD PALM SPRINGS WINDMILLS – DAY

Imelyna pilots the plane and points Michael’s attention toward the beautiful, vast array of windmills. She veers down to give him a closer look. “You are going to love this surprise! I got you this great plant to work in. And the town is actually called Thermal!”

23. SUCCESS MONTAGE

In yellow hardhats and vests, workers unload and set up equipment. The production line is operational, and Michael directs the manufacturing of his new solar panels. Finished panels roll off the line, are boxed, and stacked in trucks. In front of her booth, Imelyna is signing deals at several renewable energy conventions in Las Vegas. She and Michael are enjoying the town, gambling, fine dining, drinking. They open 3 more factories. She’s on HSN, at Home Depot, at Costco. The money is rolling in. She’s on the cover of many magazines, and Michael and Imelyna are falling in love. Business is booming, they are gaining power and influence. They both get an alert on their phones and become alarmed reading the text.

24. INT. BOARDROOM – DAY

The leadership team of the company sits around a table at an all-hands meeting. A whiteboard lists all the frustrating obstacles that are interfering with their company and someone around the table speaks to each of the following: competing companies, Chinese copying products and disregarding patents, a worker strike though they pay the highest wage in Southern California, townsfolk protesting silly issues, local politicians suddenly turning on them, material sourcing issues and delays, unusual problems with the manufacturing line, unfair bad press, hacker bribes, false information on social media smear campaign, oppressive regulatory laws in committees. There are rational, unconnected explanations for each of the obstacles. However, everyone is worried and feeling paranoid. “Does anyone smell smoke?” They realize the factory is ablaze. Michael and Imelyna make sure everyone escape, but they themselves become trapped, and barely escape. However, several firefighters die in the blaze, casting suspicion and public outrage towards them.

25. EXT. MOVIE PREMIERE – NIGHT

Imelyna is working the red carpet. An interviewer asks her about a rumor involving her and a married director. Imelyna doesn’t dignify the question, and social media makes it a scandal. She loses a role she had just signed on for. Despite the merits of the products, commercial sales start to decline to their chagrin.

26. INT. PILOT PLANT – DAY

Similar to the earlier demonstration, Michael greets a group of investors before demonstrating his new invention: a magnifying glass layer to put on top of solar panels to increase their sun absorption by 100 times. Michael spies Ratliff among the group before he sees him. Michael steps in front him, startling Ratiff, who is surprised to see Viktor/Michael alive. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” Ratliff eyes Michael with amusement. Michael flashes a wicked smile back at him as two of his security guards apprehend Ratliff and escort him to the back.

27. INT. BACKROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Ratliff tries to pretend that he knew it was Viktor, “I warned you that if you didn’t leave well enough alone, I would find you…and kill you.” Michael remains suspicious, “You didn’t know it was me. So why are you here? I’m not working on space solar.” Imelyna chimes in, “And California and Austria are quite a beat apart.” Ratliff refuses to call himself a spy or reveal who he works for, and Michael realizes Ratliff wants him to believe it is basic corporate espionage aimed at eliminating competition. Michael and Imelyna realize that Ratliff is part of an elaborate international espionage scheme to stop green energy innovation from disrupting the fossil fuel status quo. Frustrated and angry, Michael surprise attacks him, using a gadget to gain inflict pain. However, Ratliff turns the tables with another gadget and gains the upperhand, killing the two security guards. Ratliff admits that he was just on a random routine mission, and that he didn’t know Viktor/Michael survived. Ratliff inadvertently reveals the depth of the conspiracy. Imelyna and Michael are shocked. Michael uses his unique set of talents to kill Ratliff to survive.

28. EXT. SMALL AIRPORT – LATER

Fueling up her private jet, Imelyna is in a panic, while Michael is unnerved, though seething in self-righteous indignation. They conjecture that someone else will come after them when Ratliff doesn’t report in. Imelyna thinks they need to hightail it out of the U.S. until things settle down. Both are paranoid whenever they see someone nearby. They realize Ratliff was just the tip of the iceberg. Now Michael wants to get revenge by bringing down the entire fossil fuel industry, and begin working again on space solar…immediately. And…Michael vows, from now on…to fight fire with fire. He wants to go on the offensive.

ACT 2B

29. INT. UNDISCLOSED LOCATION – MEETING ROOM – DAY

Michael thanks his most trusted colleagues for joining them under secrecy. He reveals that his real name is Viktor. And he tells his story. And now he prefers Victorino. And they have a new mission, and they face a bigger threat. He needs them to begin the development of a plan, and it’s going to be dangerous. He writes on the whiteboard: writes on the whiteboard the groups’ answers to Victorino’s question: what is the biggest threat we face in the world today? Global warming, nuclear proliferation, famine, wealth inequality. Victorino explains that it is self-interest. Greed for money, greed for power, greed for fame…”no offense, Imelyna.” “Entrenched interests are rigging the game to preserve the status quo.” “A lair? You want us to build you a lair?” “Anyone who wants to leave…may.” He challenges them to brainstorm ways to chip away at the fossil fuel industry by making their products more expensive and earn them bad press. Let’s begin with goals, action items, and scheduling.“And I want ideas for security, weapons, gadgets.” “But how do we even recruit the “kind” of people we’ll need?” Somebody knows a guy, but they only call him when a celebrity’s kid gets in trouble. A fascinating brainstorming session bantering around ideas for the group’s name, wacky locations to build secret lairs, creative ways to finance operations, the ethics of ecoterrorism – means to an end, brainstorming exercises to get past blockages, sarcastic wit, egos, grandstanding, discord, and agreement. On the whiteboard: “Masterplan” “Project name (nothing greek!) / Sunshine & Rainbows???”, “If we need rockets, call Elon.” “Minions – life servitude/squid game”.

30. INT. UNDISCLOSED LOCATION – OPERATIONS ROOM – DAY

Victorino runs point on a covert op/mission, and he becomes a villainous eco-terrorist. Blowing up an oil pipeline near Germany. Victorino and Imelyna in intimate conversation talking about the morality of eco-terrorism, and he rationalizes that it’s to chip away at the fossil fuel industry by making their products more expensive and bad press. She is dismayed by the way he is changing. She feels unsafe, and she rebuffs being close to him.

SECRET 4: The British government sent Spy2 Evans to investigate Victorino and Spy1’s disappearance.

COVER UP 4: Evans is working undercover, impersonating someone appropriate to be in Victorino’s orbit.

VILLAIN6: SPY2 IMPERSONATION/GAMBLING/COMPETITION/TORTURE

· IMPERSONATION: TRUST: Evans inserts himself subtly into Victorino’s gambling game, reads people, it’s least consequences

· COMPETITION: DISTRUST: Evans meets and flirts with Imelyna, he doesn’t realize she’s gambling as well “is she going to blow on the dice?” classless chauvinistic idiot

· COMPETITION: DISTRUST: goads Victorino into gambling with real stakes, where you can lose your shirt – a side bet to hear more about his solar project and have right of first refusal, Evans and Victorino go head-to-head in some gambling/equivalent, Evans tortures Victorino with INTIMIDATION/HUMILATION, Victorino is frustrated, folds his hand, but Imelyna stays in, and loses

· DANGER: TWIST: Something planned for doesn’t happen – ashamed Victorino folds his hand because still afraid of the consequences, Evans comments that maybe he’s not as crazy as he’s heard Imelyna suggests Imelyna’s friend escort Evans

· DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them.

· PURPOSE: using must-have familiar James Bond trope of meeting the villain while gambling, it’s our introduction into Evans and his class, skill, luck, cars, and vices (drinking/womanizing)

MYSTERY 4: Who is this new fellow, confident and debonair, suddenly inserting himself into Victorino’s life?

SECRET 5: Evans has seduced Imelyna and made her an asset who is divulging intel.

VILLAIN7: INVESTIGATION/SURPRISE DISCOVERY:

· DISTRUST/DANGER: Evans pokes around Victorino’s affairs, gets clues of Victorino’s plan, “stalking?“

· TRUST/COVER UP 4: Evans always has a good excuse as to why he keeps bumping into Victorino in various places.

· DISTRUST/DANGER: The threat that their own secret could be revealed.

COVER UP 5

· TRUST/DISTRUST: Evans is seen approaching Imelyna behind Victorino’s back as he walks away, clearly smiling and flirting with her as he approaches her with a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses.

· TRUST/DISTRUST: TWIST: Someone changes sides – But when Victorino returns from the bathroom, all evidence of Evans is gone, and Imelyna is very nonchalant acting normally.

VILLAIN8: ACTION/STOPPING ECO-TERRORISM

· Victorino’s eco-terrorism mission is underway

· TWIST: Something planned for doesn’t happen – Evans stops it

· PURPOSE: James Bond would have succeeded in stopping eco-terrorism, so it is familiar, and an obstacle for Victorino

· Victorino wondering with the interference of Evans, is he up against a vast international government conspiracy?

VILLAIN9: AMBUSHED

· COVER UP 5: Evans’s repeated ability to locate Victorino is rationalized as either luck or skill, not a mole.

· TRUST/COVER UP 5: Imelyna hides her infidelity, saying she was away at the gym and she’s flushed red in the face because she just got back from exercising, she gives Victorino a treat from Starbucks

· DANGER: Physical danger, being under attack, Evans trying to kill Victorino,

· TRUST/TWIST: New options emerge – Evans has the advantage over Victorino, however Victorino is surprised to receive the help of his henchmen for the first time and is empowered

· Victorino is able to turn the tables on Evans, and leave Evans in contraption to die

· Victorino able to evade escape

MYSTERY 5: How does Evans stay alive and keeping finding Victorino at the next location?

ACTION/DANGER: CHASE

· Evans chases Victorino, tons of funny/then increasingly sad collateral damage in some exotic location using some cool vehicles

· TWIST: The worst thing possible happens/New consequences emerge, Evans unconcerned as he causes severe collateral damage as dozens of minions get killed, Victorino escapes

· PURPOSE: familiar expected trope

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT – Major setback. Victorino’s plan has failed, The lowest of the low. feels defeated. All hope is lost. Must change to achieve goal. Must accept something about themselves or that their way of doing things just won’t work anymore.

VILLAIN10: ATTACK/ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION/DANGER

· DISTRUST: Surveillance shows Evans hanging around, poking around, supposedly no way to get in, minutes later there is an intruder alert

· DANGER: SurveillanceBetrayal from someone close – infidelity, Victorino learns that Imelyna was having an affair with Evans

· DISTRUST/MISSION18. DISCOVERY / NEW PLAN: Victorino discovers Imelyna cheating/betrayal with Evans because Evans has piece of false information he planted with Imelyna

· TWIST: A trust is violated/New options emerge – Victorino gives Imelyna misinformation, Victorino uses Imelyna as bait

· DISTRUST/DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end.

· DANGEROUS SITUATION/RESCUE/INTERROGATION/TORTURE: Evans infiltrates Victorino’s lair with team equipped with fierce weapons and kill all the minions

· TWIST: The worst thing possible happens – Evans ruthlessly kills Imelyna’s brother, tries to kill Victorino, but Victorino escapes with Imelyna

· DANGER: Break-in, captured, disarmed, beaten. At Victorino’s lair, Evans sets off the alarms, then climbs up a wall. Shuts off the power

· DANGER: Abducted, Trapped, Restraints and torture

· ACTION19: TORTURE/TWIST: We see an unexpected side of someone – Evans demands to know Victorino’s plan, tortures Victorino far more cruelly than Victorino did to him, makes the audience really hate Evans

· Purpose: Insight into Villain. Evans can outsmart Victorino! Also shows that Evans is actually more evil in his interrogation than Victorino. This also makes a change for the Victorino. He finds out who he is to the government.

· TWIST: The worst thing possible happens – Evans destroys the lair. Now Victorino can’t launch rocket remotely

· Purpose: Imelyna has her own moral code — and that is unacceptable to the Villain.

· MISSION19. AMBUSHED / CAPTURE / ESCAPE: DANGER: Spy kills Victorino’s minions, Spy shows up and is captured, TWIST: Secret identity uncovered – Evans knows it is Victorino, DANGER: Victorino sees the carnage, many people he knew and liked are dead or severly injured, Victorino escapes and forcibly abducts Imelyna, Victorino transforms into a full megalomaniac

Fully embracing being a megalomaniac, willing to stop at nothing.

RESULT 5: Victorino is really feeling paranoid and sad, worrying about the fraying of his relationship with Imelyna.

ACT 3 — The ultimate expression of the conflict. The Victorino and Villain come face to face for the final conflict and/or the Victorino must finally face his or her greatest fear.

SECRET 6: The world’s top governments have sanctioned a sabotage program ordering their spies to carry out assassinations of green energy innovators to delay the adoption of new green technology so that they can keep their grip on money and power by maintaining the status quo of fossil fuel usage around the world, ensure they remain on top of the world order.

MYSTERY 6: Who is the real villain behind all of the sabotage orders and why are they doing it?

VILLAIN11: CRISIS/DILEMMA/HOSTAGE/DECISION/ESCAPE

· Evans tracks down at lair, has Victorino at gunpoint, requires the Victorino’s unique set of talents, gets Evans into conversation, has a job to do, doesn’t care, and is revealed to be a womanizer, Imelyna is scorned and switches back allegence to Victorino and aids his escape

· DANGER: Public humiliation. Loss of a job or career.

· MISSION20. ESCAPE WITHOUT HER / NEW PLAN: Victorino will have to manually launch the rocket, needs Imelyna’s help, Bombs explode lair, autopilot disabled, Spy shows up, they fight, Imelyna has to make a choice between her two psychopaths

· DISTRUST: Evans says to Victorino that nobody trusts him to implement and run his new technology since he showed poor judgement being an eco-terrorist, Victorino claims he’s just a frustrated victim surviving with self-defense, the bully is complaining when the victim fights back…see we knew you were violent, it’s your meddling, your doing, I am your creation

· COVER UP 6: Evans labels Victorino a madman, and tries to convince Imelyna that Victorino must be stopped at all costs.

· Megalomaniacs don’t appear out of thin air, they are created in direct response to the direct oppression of evil men…and their cheating, conscienceless henchmen

· DISTRUST: Imelyna, “Cheating?”

· DANGER: Surveillance – TWIST: A trust is violated/A mistake returns to haunt them/A lie is uncovered Victorino shows Imelyna footage of Evans killing her brother, and Evans having sex with 2 other women

· Victorino must make a very tough decision where he or she loses something either way — toughest decision of their lives. Being forced to make a huge choice between their goal and their need. Sometimes, the decision will complete the Victorino’s character arc. In others, it will send them in the opposite direction, allowing them to discover who they really are in the Climax.

· His dilemma? Does he keep his promise to Imelyna, get revenge, and save the world or does he succumb to a megalomaniac’s temptation to be god and destroy the world?

· Purpose: Insight into Victorino: Victorino will do anything to finish what he started and get revenge!

· TRUST/TWIST: A trust is violated – Victorino convinces her to turn on Evans, “at all costs”, perpetuate?, Imelyna helps Victorino apprehend Evans

· VILLAIN12: FITTING ENDING: Requires the Victorino’s unique set of talents, Evans dies in some stupid elaborate unescapable contraption, as the Victorino watches, knowing that he lost because he didn’t care and was an insufferable self-indulgent womanizing asshole who made the wrong decision and will be on the wrong side of history, unable to McGuiver an escape. And the Victorino watches the Villain die. They watch Evans die in contraption

· DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end. – says goodbye to Imelyna

· ACTION23: TORTURE: BURNING / Meanwhile Evans is being eaten by ants.

MISSION21. LAUNCH

· A20: ESCAPE: Victorino evades Evans and disappears

· TRUST: In the control room, Victorino has faith in Imelyna as she figures out how to help Victorino blasts off into space. “But I’ve never done anything like this before.” “And how many rockets have I flown?” “Listen, the fate of the entire planet rests with us.” “Fake it till you make it.” “Anything that says “Auto” say yes. Blinking lights get pushed. Levers get pulled. Just don’t spill a pepsi/coffee.”

· ACTION21: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS / COMPETITION: Victorino deploys his technology in space. Powers up.

· Victorino successfully launches rocket and is deploying the solar panels, meanwhile Victorino destroys the fossil fuel industry infrastructure, Victorino deploys technology, it powers up and works

7. CLIMAX

Final conflict. Face to face showdown. Only one winner.

MISSION21. FIGHT/SHOOTOUT/FULL OUT ATTACK:

· ACTION/TRUST: Victorino demonstrates the technology to POTUS, it works

· TRUST: POTUS thanks Victorino for ending global warming and saving the world while firing nuclear missiles at him

· DISTRUST: POTUS reveals he’s behind the spies, that Victorino cannot be allowed to live

· DANGER: POTUS says he will ensure Victorino has a damaged reputation as a madman

· DISTRUST/COVER UP 6: TWIST: A trust is violated – POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Victorino in space, “you are of no consequence”

· DANGER/DISCOVERY: The last mystery is all about the real Villain pulling all the strings. Victorino can finally face and deal with the actual Villain.

· ACTION: Victorino defends himself, destroys missiles, except one that damages his ship

· DANGER: end of relationship – Victorino says goodbye to Imelyna

· ACTION: Victorino in a rage destroys earth, burns them with Weapons of Mass Destruction solar ignition

· TWIST: The “solution” makes things worse – he destroys Earth.

· Purpose: The Villain is dead! Victorino’s revenge is successful. He is self-actualized.

8. RESOLUTION

End of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way. The resolution gives us an answer to the question that the Inciting Incident asked. How this conflict has finally been resolved.

MISSION22. SUCCESS:

Fossil fuel industry is gone. Victorino ended global warming and got revenge, he is self-actualized, without fear of the consequences, he is happy and self-satisfied…as he floats alone in space. And even though Earth gone, Victorino is successful and happy, with a satisfied feeling.

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Poor little ants. “I’m not even the last man on earth. I’m god.” “Took God 6 days to create the world. To me only 6 minutes to destroy it.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then prolonged silence as the credits roll. He uses the SunBeam to burn a smiley face on the moon.

[Michael Katz]

Was fun creatively making the map readable, and I got carried away, so I was only able to finish the 1st half. But the gist of the 2nd half should still come through (hopefully).

MEGALOMANIAC — Thriller Map Version 1

It’s an Action Thriller, a reverse James Bond.

ACT I

1. OPENING – EXT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – BACKYARD OF A HOUSE – DAY

10-year-old Viktor, with an overly concerned expression, uses a magnifying glass and tweezers to caringly take out a splinter out from a cat’s paw. Then he accidentally discovers solar ignition and uses the magnifying glass to burn dried leaves. Unfortunately, he accidentally fries an ant to death, and cries up at the sun in shame with tears streaming down his face. Camera pushes into the sun.

2. OPENING – Continuous as it transitions into a video presentation.

Camera pulls back from the sun and lands on several heartbreaking examples of Earth devastated by global warming. Suddenly we’re blinded by the beauty of a Swedish bombshell sunbathing in a sexy bikini on a beautiful beach. This is the narrator, Imelyna Michaels, a world-famous actress, and passionate environmental activist. “Space solar is the solution to all of the world’s problems.” The silhouette of a long, vertical space station flies across the sun like E.T. across the moon. Chyron: Space Solar. The middle section of the space station is made up of a column of humongous magnifying lenses. “Clean. Safe. Sustainable.” A beam of light grows brighter and thicker as it travels down through each of the successive magnifying lenses. “All the energy the world will ever need.” With a low ferocious pitch, a monstrous and continuous beam of blinding energy bursts out from the bottom of the space station and speeds toward Earth and in seconds is absorbed by a giant Tesla coil attached to a skyscraper peeking through the clouds. Back to Imelyna on the beach: “Visionary and revolutionary inventor, Viktor Katz, will end the world’s reliance on fossil fuels, end global warming, and save the world.”

3. INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT – OPEN WORKSPACE

Video ends, the lights come up, and University of Vienna President calls out to the large group of 50 investors to join him around a veiled prototype. Viktor notices a lone investor, an American named Ratliff, standing suspiciously by the prototype, and walks quickly over to him. Ratliff says he’s extremely impressed with Viktor as he is being gently escorted back to group.

4. CONTINUOUS: The President praises Viktor’s vision, his achievement, and him as a sacrificing man of conscience. As Viktor listens appreciably, Imelyna slides up next to Viktor and cozies up to him with flirtatious praise of her own. However, Viktor is uncomfortable and rebuffs Imelyna, just wanting to focus on his work.

5. CONTINUOUS: The President introduces Viktor, who addresses the investors. He is worried that the world isn’t concerned enough about the future consequences of their actions. “While some are living for today, I have been worried about our future.” He sees the promise of the sun and has worked altruistically and long and hard, doesn’t want to sell out, just wants to see this project through. “I just want to make my mark on the world.” But I can’t do this alone, and he needs conscientious investors who share his vision to help build out this technology. Unseen, Ratliff’s voice interjects accusatorily, “Is this thing even safe?” Viktor can’t find Ratliff, but replies confidently that “It’s already been thoroughly tested and verified. It’s just a question of construction and distribution. Round 2 investors: enjoy the demonstration. But, yes, Mr. Ratliff, please put on your protective sunglasses because the beams are in fact a danger to your eyes.”

6. INCITING INCIDENT

Viktor’s partner starts the demonstration, powering up the prototype. Imelyna presses the start button. A continuous sunbeam is fired down through the prototype, magnifying in brightness and power as it travels through the successively powerful magnifying lenses. However, when the beam fires into Tesla coil on the battery receptable, is reflects the light like a mirror ball, sending thousands of continuous laser beams rotating around the room. Scorching their paths. The crowd screams and panics, scattering and diving to the ground. Viktor instinctively protects Imelyna by bringing her to the ground just in time as a heat ray barely misses her. However, Viktor’s sunglasses fly off his face, his eyes no longer protected from the intense lights. He is mesmerized by the circling white laser beams, and for him, the room silences except for the sounds of slicing and scorching. Then he loses his sight. From his POV, the middle of his vision is black, and only out of the corners of his eyes does he have peripheral vision. He now has solar retinopathy, which is burned out retinas from looking at the intense lights. He has blind spots in the center of his vision but still can see peripherally. For the rest of the movie Viktor’s signature gesture will be to always have his head turned slightly to one side or the other. The partner turns off the machine just before being struck by a beam. Viktor, fully perplexed, runs to the prototype and pulls out of the bottom of the receiver a miniature mirror ball. Wincing, blinking, and squinting in pain, Viktor sees his partner burning on the ground. The building is on fire, Viktor partially blinded, and his partner killed. Viktor sees out of the corner of his eye Ratliff slipping out of the backdoor.

7. EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – MOMENTS LATER

Victor pursues Ratliff into the alley seeking justice/revenge. He tries to apprehend Ratliff, and is willing to fight him. “What is wrong with you?” However, suddenly Ratliff exhibits world class fighting skills and easily takes down Viktor. Ratliff steals back the mirror ball evidence. Ratliff threatens Viktor, “Find another career, or I will destroy your whole world.” Viktor is defiant, “Do you work for one of the companies we turned down?” “It’s in my discretion to kill you right here, right now. So look at me, sideways, Viktor. No space solar. Or else there will be deadly consequences.” Ratliff looks at Viktor, who is trembling, but gazes into his soul for a moment, becomes freaked out by what he sees, and fearfully shoots Viktor twice in the chest.

8. INT. HOSPITAL – EMERGENCY ROOM – NIGHT

With eyes bandaged, a disheveled Viktor sits sadly on the side of the bed listening in disbelief as President of the University of Vienna, points an accusatory finger at him. He blames him and shuts down the project, fires him, promises a lawsuit brought by the university and investors, and his career is over. President leaves to talk to partner’s grieving widow. Imelyna enters, upset and concerned for Viktor’s wellbeing. She says the news and social media are blaming him. She is incredulous. However, Viktor retreats into a traumatized psychological state. A Vienna Detective enters, asks for a selfie with Imelyna, which she happily grants, announces that Viktor is under arrest, to her protest, and escorts Viktor past Imelyna and out of the room.

9. INT. POLICE STATION – INTERROGATION ROOM – LATER

In front of a video camera and many officers, Viktor, low energy, and not all there, guesses it was corporate espionage. Detective reports that there is no trace of any American fitting Ratliff’s description in Vienna or all of Austria. And they have no evidence of the sabotage, no surveillance footage, and witnesses don’t corroborate Viktor’s story of a belligerent investor. “It’s not looking good for you, Viktor.” Viktor realizes he has forgotten something and takes out from his jacket pocket the magnifying glass that he had as a kid with two bullets imbedded into the glass. He points to the bullets imbedded in the glass. “Look closer.” Detective looks around the room, realizing the significance of the evidence and relents that he will investigate further. He will release Viktor. However, he is still a person under suspicion and cannot go near the crime scene or leave town.

10. EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER

A CHAUFFEUR waits by a limousine. Imelyna exits the station door with a subdued Viktor, guiding him into the limousine. “You saved my life! Of course I have to do this! And you were shot! I can’t believe any of this!” She warns him about not going home because his home may not be safe since he was supposed to be dead. She insists that he can stay with her at her hotel. “I promise I won’t flirt with you, even though I am a little aroused. TMI, I know, but you did save my life, so you understand…OK, shhhh, Imelyna, he needs sleep!”

11. INT. HOTEL SACHER WIEN – PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – THE NEXT DAY

Imelyna removes the bandages on his Viktor’s eyes. He may be permanently blind in the center of his vision. However, he’s looking better. He appreciates Imelyna’s help, and apologizes for being cold to her. They discuss the sabotage. As a supporter of various philanthropic endeavors, she has heard rumors of other creatives being sabotaged, though not to this extent. She impresses upon Viktor how important his work is to the world. He must continue. She wants Viktor to promise to continue his work on space solar “at all costs”. He is afraid. She suggests he relocate, and she’ll even take him to America and support him. He says no. He is not allowed to leave, plus he’s got to clean up his mess and straighten out his relationship with the university. He’s not one to shirk his responsibilities. She is about to flirt, but Viktor rebuffs her flatly.

12. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT – EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – LATER

Imelyna drops Viktor off, repeats her offer, and says goodbye. Viktor returns to his warehouse but workers are emptying out its contents. Viktor goes around back to find Ratliff loading his prototype, research, and equipment onto a truck. Viktor is shocked and doesn’t know what to do. He gets an idea, reaches into his jacket, but remembers he no longer has his magnifying glass. Using ingenuity, he polishes the bottom of a coke can and uses solar ignition to blow up his prototype. It explodes into a giant fireball, and Ratliff is knocked to the ground. He scans the area, and is frustrated that he doesn’t see anyone.

13. EXT. SIDE STREET – CONTINUOUS

Viktor runs for his life. He makes a phone call. “I promise. At all costs. But I also want a part in your next movie.”

ACT II

14. INT. IMELYNA’S MALIBU BEACH HOUSE MANSION – DAY

Viktor is unsure how to start his life over from scratch. Imelyna tells him her story of how when she moved from Sweden to Los Angeles to pursue acting that she changed her name. Viktor likes the idea and safety of creating a new identity, especially if he is again going to pursue space solar. He decides on Michael. She sets him up in a room overlooking the breaking waves. They discuss starting small with a small commercial product and testing the waters. He has doubts but starts brainstorming to create a new invention.

15. EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – SUNSET

Imelyna shows off her exotic car collection to Michael. He chooses the Rolls but she vetoes it for an old-school, souped-up Hummer. She drives them to a restaurant. She is a fast, wild driver, and she extols the virtues of using the Hummer to intimidate other cars out of the way, as if she were a cop. Imelyna zig zags through traffic, creating several dangerous close calls with other cars. Suddenly the police are chasing her. More dangerous close calls with other cars, but she bullies her way right into a fancy restaurant valet.

16. EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

As she is climbing down the Hummer, an officer politely asks her if they could have a photo with her. She agrees and the cop hands his phone to an astonished Michael, who takes the photo.

17. INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – LATER

Michael and Imelyna have an intimate dinner. Michael is beside himself trying various amazing foods. He tells her his idea for a magnifier for solar panels, which would increase sun absorption efficiency by 10 times. They are happy.

18. EXT. FANCY RESTAURANT – LATER

As they exit, a paparazzi pushes Vikto out of the way to get a better angle of Imelyna. Michael takes offense and tries to push and trip the guy, but the guy is experienced and slippery, causing Michael to lose his balance and fall on the ground. He is angry and embarrassed.

19. INT. IMELYNA’S MALIBU BEACH HOUSE MANSION – DAY

Imelyna shows Michael social media, a photo of her looking beautiful, with him on the ground, face shielded, and the description, “Paparazzi protects A-lister Imelyna from rabid fan”. She’s thankful that it did not reveal his face/identity, and, though he is fuming about the embarrassment, he promises to stay out of the limelight. Imelyna invites her brother to come over to teach Michael how to fight. Her brother used to be a violent person, but is now a successful stunt actor for Chris Hemsworth. Now he is a man of peace and won’t teach Michael how to fight, but only self-defense. Imelyna is strong, graceful, grapples well, however Michael is distraught because his trauma resurfaces and he is so out of his element. Brother suggests he needs an immediate meditation intervention.

20. EXT. BEACH – DAY

Imelyna’s progressive friends surround Michael in a circle. They are smoking and doing drugs. Michael relents and tries acid, with the promise that it will help him process and let go of his trauma. Guitars, drum circle, progressive women spouting inspirational hymns. Close up on Michael as he breaks down and cries. We can tell he is having a vision, and undergoing a clarifying change, though no one is privy to the exact experience. Michael opens his eyes, and calmly declares that he found his inner animal spirit: “I’m either a cat or an ant.” Everyone snickers and the group laughs, stands, and starts dancing. Michael looks at Imelyna hungrily, and she pretends to be a sexy cat as she crawls toward him. They share a kiss that grows increasingly passionate.

21. INT. BEDROOM – LATER

Michael, unburdened, unafraid, makes passionate love to Imelyna. Lying together afterwards, Michael admits his deep feelings for Imelyna. Imelyna grabs a remote control, presses a button, all the lights in the house go out, and she starts giggling in the darkness, intriguing Michael. Imelyna presses another button, and the ceiling to her bedroom retracts, revealing a marvelously clear bright starry sky. Michael is in awe. She’s wanted to show him this for a long time. He thanks her for rescuing him, and promises to figure out a path to space solar…at all costs. Plus, he has an idea…

22. INT. MAKESHIFT LABORATORY INSIDE AN OFFICE IN HER HOUSE – DAY

Michael opens a package of sand samples. He invents a layer to install on the backside of solar panels to absorb the infrared radiation that the Earth emits back into the atmosphere every night. Michael explains the process as Imelyna looks through a microscope at a particular type of sand found only in a remote area of the world that makes it all possible.

22. EXT. SMALL PLANE FLYING ALONG HIGHWAY 10 TOWARD PALM SPRINGS WINDMILLS – DAY

Imelyna pilots the plane and points Michael’s attention toward the beautiful, vast array of windmills. She veers down to give him a closer look. “You are going to love this surprise! I got you this great plant to work in. And the town is actually called Thermal!”

23. SUCCESS MONTAGE

In yellow hardhats and vests, workers unload and set up equipment. The production line is operational, and Michael directs the manufacturing of his new solar panels. Finished panels roll off the line, are boxed, and stacked in trucks. In front of her booth, Imelyna is signing deals at several renewable energy conventions in Las Vegas. She and Michael are enjoying the town, gambling, fine dining, drinking. They open 3 more factories. She’s on HSN, at Home Depot, at Costco. The money is rolling in. She’s on the cover of many magazines, and Michael and Imelyna are falling in love. Business is booming, they are gaining power and influence. They both get an alert on their phones and become alarmed reading the text.

24. INT. BOARDROOM – DAY

The leadership team of the company sits around a table at an all-hands meeting. A whiteboard lists all the frustrating obstacles that are interfering with their company and someone around the table speaks to each of the following: competing companies, Chinese copying products and disregarding patents, a worker strike though they pay the highest wage in Southern California, townsfolk protesting silly issues, local politicians suddenly turning on them, material sourcing issues and delays, unusual problems with the manufacturing line, unfair bad press, hacker bribes, false information on social media smear campaign, oppressive regulatory laws in committees. There are rational, unconnected explanations for each of the obstacles. However, everyone is worried and feeling paranoid. “Does anyone smell smoke?” They realize the factory is ablaze. Michael and Imelyna make sure everyone escape, but they themselves become trapped, and barely escape. However, several firefighters die in the blaze, casting suspicion and public outrage towards them.

25. EXT. MOVIE PREMIERE – NIGHT

Imelyna is working the red carpet. An interviewer asks her about a rumor involving her and a married director. Imelyna doesn’t dignify the question, and social media makes it a scandal. She loses a role she had just signed on for. Despite the merits of the products, commercial sales start to decline to their chagrin.

26. INT. PILOT PLANT – DAY

Similar to the earlier demonstration, Michael greets a group of investors before demonstrating his new invention: a magnifying glass layer to put on top of solar panels to increase their sun absorption by 100 times. Michael spies Ratliff among the group before he sees him. Michael steps in front him, startling Ratiff, who is surprised to see Viktor/Michael alive. “I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” Ratliff eyes Michael with amusement. Michael flashes a wicked smile back at him as two of his security guards apprehend Ratliff and escort him to the back.

27. INT. BACKROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Ratliff tries to pretend that he knew it was Viktor, “I warned you that if you didn’t leave well enough alone, I would find you…and kill you.” Michael remains suspicious, “You didn’t know it was me. So why are you here? I’m not working on space solar.” Imelyna chimes in, “And California and Austria are quite a beat apart.” Ratliff refuses to call himself a spy or reveal who he works for, and Michael realizes Ratliff wants him to believe it is basic corporate espionage aimed at eliminating competition. Michael and Imelyna realize that Ratliff is part of an elaborate international espionage scheme to stop green energy innovation from disrupting the fossil fuel status quo. Frustrated and angry, Michael surprise attacks him, using a gadget to gain inflict pain. However, Ratliff turns the tables with another gadget and gains the upperhand, killing the two security guards. Ratliff admits that he was just on a random routine mission, and that he didn’t know Viktor/Michael survived. Ratliff inadvertently reveals the depth of the conspiracy. Imelyna and Michael are shocked. Michael uses his unique set of talents to kill Ratliff to survive.

28. EXT. SMALL AIRPORT – LATER

Fueling up her private jet, Imelyna is in a panic, while Michael is unnerved, though seething in self-righteous indignation. They conjecture that someone else will come after them when Ratliff doesn’t report in. Imelyna thinks they need to hightail it out of the U.S. until things settle down. Both are paranoid whenever they see someone nearby. They realize Ratliff was just the tip of the iceberg. Now Michael wants to get revenge by bringing down the entire fossil fuel industry, and begin working again on space solar…immediately. And…Michael vows, from now on…to fight fire with fire. He wants to go on the offensive.

ACT 2B

MISSION14. OVERWHELMING ODDS/NEW PLAN:

· HIDE OUT/NEW FRIENDS/BRAINSTORM: Michael changes his name back to Viktor, but then prefers Victorino…for flare. Victorino decides to go on the offensive, greet the crew, meeting to go over the plan and schedule

· Purpose: no movie has really explored how a villain begins the development of a master plan so will be very intriguing to the audience

· TWIST: New options emerge – he’s creating a familiar villain’s masterplan

· DANGER: Talking about the danger in group meeting

· BRAINSTORM: issues challenge: ways to chip away at the fossil fuel industry by making their products more expensive and bad press

· DANGEROUS SITUATIONS: discussing gadgets, weapons, lairs, minion recruitment, interrogation, torture, animal, on whiteboards there will be brainstorming ideas crossed off and one circled

· MISSION15.: Build a lair, secretly builds his space solar technology

· DANGER: Presence of weapons – Victorino has his own gadget guy

· Imelyna had mentioned she had another friend who worked on another green project who knew they were sabotaged, it was makeup, another was a pet medication for fleas

· DISTRUST/DANGER: “My brother is just for show, but this guy prevents problems.” Imelyna brings in a henchman, who has a violent heart…and an agenda.

MISSION15. ATTACK/ECO-TERRORISM

· Victorino is running a covert op/mission

· TWIST: We see an unexpected side of someone – he becomes an eco-terrorist (a villain)

· DANGER: Victorino and Imelyna in intimate conversation talking about the morality of eco-terrorism, he explains that it’s to chip away at the fossil fuel industry by making their products more expensive and bad press

· She is dismayed, she feels unsafe being close to him

· DANGER: the chance that a relationship could end.

SECRET 4: The British government sent Evans to investigate Victorino and Spy1’s disappearance.

COVER UP 4: Evans is working undercover, impersonating someone appropriate to be in Victorino’s orbit.

VILLAIN6: SPY2 IMPERSONATION/GAMBLING/COMPETITION/TORTURE

· IMPERSONATION: TRUST: Evans inserts himself subtly into Victorino’s gambling game, reads people, it’s least consequences

· COMPETITION: DISTRUST: Evans meets and flirts with Imelyna, he doesn’t realize she’s gambling as well “is she going to blow on the dice?” classless chauvinistic idiot

· COMPETITION: DISTRUST: goads Victorino into gambling with real stakes, where you can lose your shirt – a side bet to hear more about his solar project and have right of first refusal, Evans and Victorino go head-to-head in some gambling/equivalent, Evans tortures Victorino with INTIMIDATION/HUMILATION, Victorino is frustrated, folds his hand, but Imelyna stays in, and loses

· DANGER: TWIST: Something planned for doesn’t happen – ashamed Victorino folds his hand because still afraid of the consequences, Evans comments that maybe he’s not as crazy as he’s heard Imelyna suggests Imelyna’s friend escort Evans

· DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them.

· PURPOSE: using must-have familiar James Bond trope of meeting the villain while gambling, it’s our introduction into Evans and his class, skill, luck, cars, and vices (drinking/womanizing)

MYSTERY 4: Who is this new fellow, confident and debonair, suddenly inserting himself into Victorino’s life?

SECRET 5: Evans has seduced Imelyna and made her an asset who is divulging intel.

VILLAIN7: INVESTIGATION/SURPRISE DISCOVERY:

· DISTRUST/DANGER: Evans pokes around Victorino’s affairs, gets clues of Victorino’s plan, “stalking?“

· TRUST/COVER UP 4: Evans always has a good excuse as to why he keeps bumping into Victorino in various places.

· DISTRUST/DANGER: The threat that their own secret could be revealed.

COVER UP 5

· TRUST/DISTRUST: Evans is seen approaching Imelyna behind Victorino’s back as he walks away, clearly smiling and flirting with her as he approaches her with a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses.

· TRUST/DISTRUST: TWIST: Someone changes sides – But when Victorino returns from the bathroom, all evidence of Evans is gone, and Imelyna is very nonchalant acting normally.

VILLAIN8: ACTION/STOPPING ECO-TERRORISM

· Victorino’s eco-terrorism mission is underway

· TWIST: Something planned for doesn’t happen – Evans stops it

· PURPOSE: James Bond would have succeeded in stopping eco-terrorism, so it is familiar, and an obstacle for Victorino

· Victorino wondering with the interference of Evans, is he up against a vast international government conspiracy?

VILLAIN9: AMBUSHED

· COVER UP 5: Evans’s repeated ability to locate Victorino is rationalized as either luck or skill, not a mole.

· TRUST/COVER UP 5: Imelyna hides her infidelity, saying she was away at the gym and she’s flushed red in the face because she just got back from exercising, she gives Victorino a treat from Starbucks

· DANGER: Physical danger, being under attack, Evans trying to kill Victorino,

· TRUST/TWIST: New options emerge – Evans has the advantage over Victorino, however Victorino is surprised to receive the help of his henchmen for the first time and is empowered

· Victorino is able to turn the tables on Evans, and leave Evans in contraption to die

· Victorino able to evade escape

MYSTERY 5: How does Evans stay alive and keeping finding Victorino at the next location?

ACTION/DANGER: CHASE

· Evans chases Victorino, tons of funny/then increasingly sad collateral damage in some exotic location using some cool vehicles

· TWIST: The worst thing possible happens/New consequences emerge, Evans unconcerned as he causes severe collateral damage as dozens of minions get killed, Victorino escapes

· PURPOSE: familiar expected trope

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT – Major setback. Victorino’s plan has failed, The lowest of the low. feels defeated. All hope is lost. Must change to achieve goal. Must accept something about themselves or that their way of doing things just won’t work anymore.

VILLAIN10: ATTACK/ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION/DANGER

· DISTRUST: Surveillance shows Evans hanging around, poking around, supposedly no way to get in, minutes later there is an intruder alert

· DANGER: SurveillanceBetrayal from someone close – infidelity, Victorino learns that Imelyna was having an affair with Evans

· DISTRUST/MISSION18. DISCOVERY / NEW PLAN: Victorino discovers Imelyna cheating/betrayal with Evans because Evans has piece of false information he planted with Imelyna

· TWIST: A trust is violated/New options emerge – Victorino gives Imelyna misinformation, Victorino uses Imelyna as bait

· DISTRUST/DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end.

· DANGEROUS SITUATION/RESCUE/INTERROGATION/TORTURE: Evans infiltrates Victorino’s lair with team equipped with fierce weapons and kill all the minions

· TWIST: The worst thing possible happens – Evans ruthlessly kills Imelyna’s brother, tries to kill Victorino, but Victorino escapes with Imelyna

· DANGER: Break-in, captured, disarmed, beaten. At Victorino’s lair, Evans sets off the alarms, then climbs up a wall. Shuts off the power

· DANGER: Abducted, Trapped, Restraints and torture

· ACTION19: TORTURE/TWIST: We see an unexpected side of someone – Evans demands to know Victorino’s plan, tortures Victorino far more cruelly than Victorino did to him, makes the audience really hate Evans

· Purpose: Insight into Villain. Evans can outsmart Victorino! Also shows that Evans is actually more evil in his interrogation than Victorino. This also makes a change for the Victorino. He finds out who he is to the government.

· TWIST: The worst thing possible happens – Evans destroys the lair. Now Victorino can’t launch rocket remotely

· Purpose: Imelyna has her own moral code — and that is unacceptable to the Villain.

· MISSION19. AMBUSHED / CAPTURE / ESCAPE: DANGER: Spy kills Victorino’s minions, Spy shows up and is captured, TWIST: Secret identity uncovered – Evans knows it is Victorino, DANGER: Victorino sees the carnage, many people he knew and liked are dead or severly injured, Victorino escapes and forcibly abducts Imelyna, Victorino transforms into a full megalomaniac

Fully embracing being a megalomaniac, willing to stop at nothing.

RESULT 5: Victorino is really feeling paranoid and sad, worrying about the fraying of his relationship with Imelyna.

ACT 3

The ultimate expression of the conflict. The Victorino and Villain come face to face for the final conflict and/or the Victorino must finally face his or her greatest fear.

SECRET 6: The world’s top governments have sanctioned a sabotage program ordering their spies to carry out assassinations of green energy innovators to delay the adoption of new green technology so that they can keep their grip on money and power by maintaining the status quo of fossil fuel usage around the world, ensure they remain on top of the world order.

MYSTERY 6: Who is the real villain behind all of the sabotage orders and why are they doing it?

VILLAIN11: CRISIS/DILEMMA/HOSTAGE/DECISION/ESCAPE

· Evans tracks down at lair, has Victorino at gunpoint, requires the Victorino’s unique set of talents, gets Evans into conversation, has a job to do, doesn’t care, and is revealed to be a womanizer, Imelyna is scorned and switches back allegence to Victorino and aids his escape

· DANGER: Public humiliation. Loss of a job or career.

· MISSION20. ESCAPE WITHOUT HER / NEW PLAN: Victorino will have to manually launch the rocket, needs Imelyna’s help, Bombs explode lair, autopilot disabled, Spy shows up, they fight, Imelyna has to make a choice between her two psychopaths

· DISTRUST: Evans says to Victorino that nobody trusts him to implement and run his new technology since he showed poor judgement being an eco-terrorist, Victorino claims he’s just a frustrated victim surviving with self-defense, the bully is complaining when the victim fights back…see we knew you were violent, it’s your meddling, your doing, I am your creation

· COVER UP 6: Evans labels Victorino a madman, and tries to convince Imelyna that Victorino must be stopped at all costs.

· Megalomaniacs don’t appear out of thin air, they are created in direct response to the direct oppression of evil men…and their cheating, conscienceless henchmen

· DISTRUST: Imelyna, “Cheating?”

· DANGER: Surveillance – TWIST: A trust is violated/A mistake returns to haunt them/A lie is uncovered Victorino shows Imelyna footage of Evans killing her brother, and Evans having sex with 2 other women

· Victorino must make a very tough decision where he or she loses something either way — toughest decision of their lives. Being forced to make a huge choice between their goal and their need. Sometimes, the decision will complete the Victorino’s character arc. In others, it will send them in the opposite direction, allowing them to discover who they really are in the Climax.

· His dilemma? Does he keep his promise to Imelyna, get revenge, and save the world or does he succumb to a megalomaniac’s temptation to be god and destroy the world?

· Purpose: Insight into Victorino: Victorino will do anything to finish what he started and get revenge!

· TRUST/TWIST: A trust is violated – Victorino convinces her to turn on Evans, “at all costs”, perpetuate?, Imelyna helps Victorino apprehend Evans

· VILLAIN12: FITTING ENDING: Requires the Victorino’s unique set of talents, Evans dies in some stupid elaborate unescapable contraption, as the Victorino watches, knowing that he lost because he didn’t care and was an insufferable self-indulgent womanizing asshole who made the wrong decision and will be on the wrong side of history, unable to McGuiver an escape. And the Victorino watches the Villain die. They watch Evans die in contraption

· DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end. – says goodbye to Imelyna

· ACTION23: TORTURE: BURNING / Meanwhile Evans is being eaten by ants.

MISSION21. LAUNCH

· A20: ESCAPE: Victorino evades Evans and disappears

· TRUST: In the control room, Victorino has faith in Imelyna as she figures out how to help Victorino blasts off into space. “But I’ve never done anything like this before.” “And how many rockets have I flown?” “Listen, the fate of the entire planet rests with us.” “Fake it till you make it.” “Anything that says “Auto” say yes. Blinking lights get pushed. Levers get pulled. Just don’t spill a pepsi/coffee.”

· ACTION21: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS / COMPETITION: Victorino deploys his technology in space. Powers up.

· Victorino successfully launches rocket and is deploying the solar panels, meanwhile Victorino destroys the fossil fuel industry infrastructure, Victorino deploys technology, it powers up and works

7. CLIMAX

Final conflict. Face to face showdown. Only one winner.

MISSION21. FIGHT/SHOOTOUT/FULL OUT ATTACK:

· ACTION/TRUST: Victorino demonstrates the technology to POTUS, it works

· TRUST: POTUS thanks Victorino for ending global warming and saving the world while firing nuclear missiles at him

· DISTRUST: POTUS reveals he’s behind the spies, that Victorino cannot be allowed to live

· DANGER: POTUS says he will ensure Victorino has a damaged reputation as a madman

· DISTRUST/COVER UP 6: TWIST: A trust is violated – POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Victorino in space, “you are of no consequence”

· DANGER/DISCOVERY: The last mystery is all about the real Villain pulling all the strings. Victorino can finally face and deal with the actual Villain.

· ACTION: Victorino defends himself, destroys missiles, except one that damages his ship

· DANGER: end of relationship – Victorino says goodbye to Imelyna

· ACTION: Victorino in a rage destroys earth, burns them with Weapons of Mass Destruction solar ignition

· TWIST: The “solution” makes things worse – he destroys Earth.

· Purpose: The Villain is dead! Victorino’s revenge is successful. He is self-actualized.

8. RESOLUTION

End of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way. The resolution gives us an answer to the question that the Inciting Incident asked. How this conflict has finally been resolved.

MISSION22. SUCCESS:

Fossil fuel industry is gone. Victorino ended global warming and got revenge, he is self-actualized, without fear of the consequences, he is happy and self-satisfied…as he floats alone in space. And even though Earth gone, Victorino is successful and happy, with a satisfied feeling.

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Poor little ants. “I’m not even the last man on earth. I’m god.” “Took God 6 days to create the world. To me only 6 minutes to destroy it.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then prolonged silence as the credits roll. He uses the SunBeam to burn a smiley face on the moon.

[Michael Katz]

BASIC 3-ACT STRUCTURE THAT DELIVERS ON THRILLER CONVENTIONS AND HAS STRONG TURNING POINTS.

Act 1: The set-up of the characters and major conflict that will keep us engaged. Get prepared for the journey to come.

1. OPENING – 1-4 pages, Lure us into the story, introduce the lead character in ACTION as interesting as possible with intriguing visuals and the flavor of the movie.

ACTION1: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS: As a kid the Hero discovers solar ignition, but feels shame hurting an ant. Purpose: Interesting action. Creates intrigue as to who Hero will grow up to be, and what he’ll do with solar ignition.

OPENING – PURPOSE: insight into character – curbs behavior because afraid of consequences

ACTION2: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS: Video shows dangers of global warming and the potential of a space solar solution. Hero makes a plea: I just want to change the world. It’s already been thoroughly tested and verified. It’s just a question of construction and distribution. Round 2 investors: enjoy the demonstration.

Opening Question: Will the Hero change the world?

MISSION1. MOTIVATION FOR THE MISSION:

Hero wants to deploy his space solar technology and end the world’s reliance on fossil fuels, he is worried that the world isn’t concerned enough about the future consequences of their actions, he saw the promise of the sun and has worked altruistically and incredibly long and hard, and he doesn’t want to sell out, he wants to see it through so that he makes his mark on the world

SECRET 1: The American government sent a spy to sabotage Hero’s technology demonstration as part of a larger worldwide government conspiracy to prevent green energy innovation from supplanting fossil fuels and disrupting the current world order.

VILLAIN1: PLAN/DECISION — ESPIONAGE: Spy1 impersonates an investor, asks accusatory questions challenging the wisdom of the technology, decides to sabotage and discreetly leaves the group PURPOSE: creates mystery of who the Villain is, paints him as unlikable and dangerous

COVER UP 1: Spy1 impersonates an investor at the demonstration, and asks pointed questions to Hero trying to skeptically surmise the impact that the technology will have on world energy production and use, employment, and stock prices.

2. INCITING INCIDENT – An event that propels the Hero on the Journey and doesn’t get resolved until the end of the movie.

Hero is sabotaged. He won’t be allowed to save the world. Now, he has to take some kind of action to get revenge.

VILLAIN2: SABOTAGE: Just before the demonstration, Spy1 is suspiciously by the prototype, Hero and partner escort him back to group

ACTION2: ACTION: Spy1 ruins the demonstration with a mirror ball that destroys the building and kills, injures Hero, kills his partner. PURPOSE: shows Spy1’s diabolical nature, gives a glimpse into the world of corporate espionage and the lengths the fossil fuel industry will go to keep the status quo, sympathy for Hero. The danger begins and it never stops until the very last scene.

COVER UP 1: Spy1 assassinates the character of the technology, making it look like the technology went haywire, that it didn’t work, that it was dangerous.

MYSTERY 1: Why did Spy1 sabotage the Hero, and who does he work for?

MISSION: GET REVENGE

MISSION3. FIRST ACTION/FIGHT:

Hero sees Spy1 slipping away out of the backdoor, and pursues him into alley seeking justice/revenge, Hero tries to apprehend Spy1, and is willing to fight him, but it is a short fight as Spy1 easily takes down Hero

COVER UP 1: Spy1 got away, and took the evidence that pointed to sabotage, so police have no evidence of sabotage, nor evidence of Spy1. No surveillance footage, and police say witnesses don’t corroborate Hero’s story of a belligerent investor. Police instead make Hero a suspect, ordered to stay away from the facility and not to leave town

DANGER: THE ORDER: Spy1 threatens Hero, “Give up, or I will destroy your whole world.” “Find another career, and I won’t have to kill you.” Spy1 says “It’s in my discretion to kill you here or now. So look at me, no space solar. Or there will be deadly consequences.” A demand to stop pursuing the mystery. I know you will be tempted to…yeah, you’re a revenge kinda guy huh? so he shoots him.

ACTION: Either Hero succumbs clearly outmatched or Hero is morally aghast, defiant, and resists. Spy1 either helps Hero up or shoots him in the chest and leaves him for dead, but the bullets are luckily stopped by the magnifying glass in his jacket breast pocket (the one he had as a kid).

PURPOSE: Insight into the Villain. Threatens Hero dead. Shows the stakes for Hero.creates mystery as to who Spy1 works for, creates sympathy for Hero as victim, shows the stakes for Hero, creates righteous revenge mission, gives glimpse into Hero’s traumatized psychological state, Cool fight scene to watch.

OBSTACLE

COVER UP 1: Spy1 assassinated the character of Hero, making it look like the inventor is to blame, social media blames him DANGER: public humiliation, the University blames him and shut down the project and fired him. DANGER: Loss of job and career

MISSION4/COVER UP/APPARENT DEFEAT: After treatment at the hospital, DANGER: Hero is arrested by the police, at the station the cop reports no trace of the spy, Hero is under suspicion, DANGER: social media shows video ruining his reputation, he loses his job, he will be sued by the university and investors, his career is over, however his partner’s widow doesn’t want Hero to give up

RESULT 1: Each of these is a cover up that points to Hero being to blame. The writer has established the “Reality” of Hero’s guilt. But of course he is the victim.

MISSION5. HIDE OUT/PROPOSED MISSION: LoveInterest gives Hero a ride home to her hotel because his home may not be safe, at the hotel Hero appreciates LoveInterest’s emotional support but rebuffs her flirtation, Proposed Mission: for her he has to promise to continue his work on space solar “at all costs”

ESCALATION

VILLAIN3: PLAN — STEAL PROTOTYPE/COVER UP 1: Hero returns to his warehouse to find Spy1 loading up his prototype onto a truck, along with Hero’s research and equipment, PURPOSE: shows stealing secrets and cover up are part of villain’s plan

ACTION5: FIGHT/DESTROY: requires Hero’s unique set of talents as he uses solar ignition to destroy his prototype and research so the Spy won’t steal his technology. Purpose: Shows that Hero has ingenuity and the willingness to take action in the face of fear, sets up the need for Hero to run

3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT

A major twist that locks the hero into the main conflict because he crosses the point of no return, it’s the end of their previous life

MISSION7. ESCAPE WITH HER / ACCEPTS NEW MISSION: Hero fleas, calls LoveInterest and takes her up on her offer, Hero escapes with LoveInterest, who promises to relocate and support him Purpose: Sets up the need for Hero to run. Purpose: Gives us two people who need each other.

HERO’S NEW MISSION: get revenge & continue his work on space solar

ACT 2: Hero confronts the main conflict. Now, he is locked into the journey…and the main conflict is in full swing.

MISSION8. OVERWHELMING ODDS/NEW FRIENDS:

Hero takes on a secret identity, starts from scratch, needs to start smaller, needs smaller invention to make money

MISSION9: Hero is driven to create a new invention. If he proceeds, he needs assurance that she will not abandon him if things turn ugly. Purpose: Even though LoveInterest knows he is a wanted man with assassins out to get him, she chooses to support him. This makes her a stronger character — choosing this life — and takes their relationship to a new level.

ACTION9: INVENTING: Hero manufactures a new invention. Starts small to make money to finance larger operation, he invents a solar panel magnifier, starts a business with LoveInterest

ACTION7: CAR CHASE: LoveInterest and Hero in her sports car, as she drives them to a restaurant home on the PCH, dangerous close calls with other cars PURPOSE: Insight into LoveInterest’s self-indulgent disregard for consequences of her actions. Cool scene to watch.

ACTION8: FIGHT: Hero out to dinner with LoveInterest at a fancy LA restaurant. Spy or old boyfriend slips into Hero’s seat as he goes to the bathroom. A paparazzi ambushes him to get a shot of LoveInterest. They fight but Hero loses. The guy helps Hero up but he uses Spy1’s electric cufflink to zap the guy. A beautiful photo of her, and the description of Hero isn’t becoming, but also not revealing his identity, which they promise to be more careful. Purpose: Hero against himself. Trauma resurfaces.

ACTION7/DANGER: CAR CHASE: LoveInterest and Hero in her sports car, but HE drives them to her Malibu home on the PCH, police closing in, dangerous close calls with other cars, stopped by police because Hero is terrified and slows down, but they let them go because she’s a movie star, she peels away and the chase starts again and she slips into her driveway and the gate quickly closes and the police whiz by – license lists Beverly Hills as address PURPOSE: Insight into LoveInterest’s self-indulgent disregard for consequences of her actions. Cool scene to watch.

ACTION10: FIGHT: Hero has LoveInterest’s brother teach him how to fight.

ACTION11: DISCOVERY: LoveInterest’s friends help Hero process his trauma. Hero has a vision, and changes. Purpose: Insight into Hero’s trauma and developing megalomania

ACTION10: SEX: Hero and LoveInterest admit feelings for each other and have passionate sex.

MISSION9. APPARENT SUCCESS: Montage of Hero training, the factory humming, the money rolling in, and Hero and LoveInterest falling in love. Business is booming, Hero is making money, gaining power, they make tons of money, LoveInterest on set of HSN to sell

SECRET 2: Companies, politicians, and spies are relentlessly causing obstacles for Hero’s new green product business.

VILLAIN4: PLAN — INTERFERE VIA OBSTACLES/COVER UP: All sorts of frustrating obstacles interfere with Hero’s progress, competing companies, strike, politics, manufacturing interfered with, bad press, arson, bribes, smear campaign, espionage, betrayal – selling secrets, regulatory laws passed, lobbying, personal agendas, several possible suspicious new spy inserts himself undercover (none ever verified), but Hero increasingly paranoid. PURPOSE: shows Villain is pervasive, formidable, and relentless, creates sympathy for Hero as frustrated victim

DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them.

DANGER: Talking about the danger, feeling paranoid

DANGER: Lured into a dangerous situation, seemingly random thugs threaten Hero. Creates mystery as to who they are and who they work with (but will be unanswered to feed into Hero’s frustration and paranoia).

DANGER: ARSON (fire starts in the factory and Hero and LoveInterest are trapped and barely escape, however several employees die in the blaze, casting suspicion and public outrage towards them

COVER UP 2: There are rational, unconnected explanations for each of the obstacles.

MYSTERY 2: Is Hero being paranoid or is there a vast conspiracy against him?

MISSION11. APPARENT DEFEAT:

LoveInterest movie premiere, infidelity scandal, DANGER: public humiliation

Hero at an award ceremony announces running for governor, reporter asks about pedophilia accusation, will you still proceed with demonstration? DANGER: Public humiliation

RESULT 2: Again, each of these cover ups make Hero look bad, but of course he is the victim. And now he is really getting frustrated at the unfairness of it all, especially when he just trying help the world.

4. MIDPOINT TWIST – Twist that changes the meaning of the movie. Journey the same. But Meaning has changed: And a major revelation: the opposition is 10 times worse than thought

SECRET 3: The American government is regularly sending spies to sabotage all green energy innovators, not just Hero, to delay adoption of new green technology indefinitely, or for as long as possible.

VILLAIN5: PLAN — IMPERSONATION/SABOTAGE: Hero has another demonstration for investors for a bigger product, DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them. Spy1 attends another technology demonstration to sabotage it, Spy1 doesn’t realize it was Hero since different name, Hero picks a fight with him, awkward exchange

COVER UP 3: Spy1 tries to pretend that he knew it was Hero, but Hero remains suspicious.

COVER UP 3: Spy1 also tries to keep it small and local, but Hero remains skeptical since California and Austria are quite a beat apart.

COVER UP 3: Spy1 refuses to call himself a spy or reveal who he works for, though he seems to favor Hero thinking it is corporate espionage versus some elaborate international espionage plan.

MISSION12. ATTACK BACK/DISCOVERY/KILL HIM:

Hero surprise attacks him, uses a gadget to gain the upperhand, does okay at first, Spy1 turns the tables with another gadget, PURPOSE: Villain’s plan of eliminating competition is revealed, Hero revenge mission confirmed and justified, Hero switches to villainy. The Spy Villain will stop at nothing to kill their targets…and Hero is one of their targets again. Decides to go on offensive.

MYSTERY 3: If Spy1 wasn’t there to specifically sabotage Hero again, then is he part of a larger government conspiracy to sabotage all green technology innovators, and why?

DANGER: Spy1 inadvertently reveals depth of conspiracy, LoveInterest and Hero shocked, Hero uses his unique set of talents to kill Spy1 to survive.

ACTION14/: ESCAPE/EVADE: Hero and LoveInterest hightail it out of the U.S., DANGER: paranoid whether police are chasing them, as well as who else might be chasing them. Hero & LoveInterest escape to remote home to let things settle

RESULT 3: Suddenly, with the reappearance of Spy1 in another part of the world, surprised to see Hero, we focus on possibility that Hero, and all green energy innovators, are up against a vast government conspiracy. It’s a worldwide conspiracy, so Hero becomes a justified self-righteous villain.

NEW MISSION: get revenge by bringing down the entire fossil fuel industry & continue his work on space solar

ACT 2B

MISSION14. OVERWHELMING ODDS/NEW PLAN:

HIDE OUT/NEW FRIENDS/BRAINSTORM: Hero decides to go on the offensive, creates a masterplan, meet the crew, so that covers the plan and schedule, they are having a meeting discussing gadgets, weapons, lairs, minion recruitment, interrogation, torture, animal, on whiteboards there will be brainstorming ideas crossed off and one circled DANGER: Talking about the danger in group meeting

Purpose: no movie has really explored how a villain begins the development of a plan so will be very intriguing to the audience

MISSION15.: Build a lair, secretly builds his space solar technology

DANGER: Presence of weapons – Hero has his own gadget guy

MISSION15. ATTACK/ECO-TERRORISM: Hero becomes an eco-terrorist (a villain) to chip away at the fossil fuel industry by making their products more expensive and bad press

DANGER: Hero and LoveInterest in intimate conversation talking about the morality of eco-terrorism, she is dismayed, she feels unsafe being close to him, the chance that a relationship could end.

SECRET 4: The British government sent Spy2 to investigate Hero and Spy1’s disappearance.

COVER UP 4: Spy2 is working undercover, impersonating someone appropriate to be in Hero’s orbit.

VILLAIN6: IMPERSONATION/GAMBLING/COMPETITION/TORTURE: Spy2 inserts himself subtly into Hero’s world, Spy2 meets LoveInterest, reads people, beats Hero. Spy2 and Hero go head-to-head in some gambling/equivalent.

Spy2 and LoveInterest flirt. LoveInterest’s friend also meets Spy2. Spy2 tortures Hero with INTIMIDATION/HUMILATION DANGER: Someone operating covertly around them.

PURPOSE: using must-have familiar James Bond trope of meeting the villain while gambling, it’s our introduction into Spy2 and his class, skill, luck, cars, and vices (drinking/womanizing) DANGER: Hero folds his hand because afraid of consequences, Spy#2 comments that maybe he’s not as crazy as he thought

MYSTERY 4: Who is this new fellow, confident and debonair, suddenly inserting himself into Hero’s life?

COVER UP 4: Spy2 always has a good excuse as to why he keeps bumping into Hero in various places.

COVER UP 5: Spy2 is seen approaching LoveInterest behind Hero’s back as he walks away, clearly smiling and flirting with her as he approaches her with a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses. But when Hero returns from the bathroom, all evidence of Spy2 is gone, and LoveInterest is very nonchalant acting normally.

VILLAIN7: INVESTIGATION/SURPRISE DISCOVERY: Spy2 pokes around Hero’s affairs, gets clues of Hero’s plan DANGER: Spy2 stalking Hero, DANGER: The threat that their own secret could be revealed.

SECRET 5: Spy2 has seduced LoveInterest and made her an asset who is divulging intel.

VILLAIN8: ACTION/STOPPING ECO-TERRORISM: Spy2 stops Hero’s eco-terrorism mission PURPOSE: James Bond would have succeeded in stopping eco-terrorism, so it is familiar, and an obstacle for Hero

RESULT 4: With the interference of Spy2, perhaps Hero is up against a vast international government conspiracy.

COVER UP 5: LoveInterest hides her infidelity, saying she was away at the gym and she’s flushed red in the face because she just got back from exercising.

VILLAIN9: AMBUSHED: Spy2 tries to kill Hero, Hero evades him with the help of his henchmen

DANGER: Physical danger, being under attack

DANGER: Collateral damage as dozens of minions get killed

ACTION/DANGER: CHASE: Spy2 chases Hero, tons of funny/then increasingly sad collateral damage in some exotic location using some cool vehicles, Hero escapes PURPOSE: familiar expected trope

COVER UP 5: Spy2’s repeated ability to locate Hero is rationalized as either luck or skill, not a mole.

MYSTERY 5: How does Spy2 stay alive and find Hero at the next location?

MISSION18. DISCOVERY / NEW PLAN: Hero discovers LoveInterest cheating/betrayal with Spy2, Hero gives LoveInterest information, Hero uses LoveInterest as bait, DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end.

DANGER: Surveillance shows Spy#2 hanging around, poking around, supposedly no way to get in, minutes later there is an intruder alert

VILLAIN10: ATTACK/ATTEMPTS ASSASSINATION/DANGEROUS SITUATION/RESCUE/INTERROGATION/TORTURE: Spy2 infiltrates Hero’s lair with team equipped with fierce weapons and kill all the minions, Spy2 ruthlessly kills LoveInterest’s brother, tries to kill Hero, but Hero escapes with LoveInterest, Spy2 destroys the lair. DANGER: Break-in, Captured, disarmed, beaten. At Hero’s lair, Spy2 sets off the alarms, then climbs up a wall. Shuts off the power. Kills LoveInterest’s brother. Demands to know Hero’s plan. DANGER: Abducted, Trapped, Restraints and torture
Purpose: Insight into Villain. Spy2 can outsmart Hero! Also shows that Spy2 is actually more evil in his interrogation than Hero. This also makes a change for the Hero. He finds out who he is to the government.

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT – Major setback. Hero’s plan has failed, The lowest of the low. feels defeated. All hope is lost. Must change to achieve goal. Must accept something about themselves or that their way of doing things just won’t work anymore.

DANGER: Surveillance – Hero learns that LoveInterest was having an affair with Spy#2, Betrayal from someone close – infidelity

ACTION19: FAILED ASSASSINATION/TORTURE: Spy2 had the advantage over Hero, but with LoveInterest’s help, they turn the tables on Spy2. Leave Spy2 to be eaten by the ants.
Purpose: LoveInterest has her own moral code — and that is unacceptable to the Villain.

RESULT 5: Hero is really feeling paranoid and sad, worrying about the fraying of his relationship with LoveInterest.

MISSION19. AMBUSHED / CAPTURE / ESCAPE: DANGER: Spy kills Hero’s minions, Spy shows up and is captured, DANGER: Hero sees the carnage, many people he knew and liked are dead or severly injured, Hero escapes and forcibly abducts LoveInterest, Hero transforms into a full megalomaniac

Fully embracing being a megalomaniac, willing to stop at nothing.

Act 3: The ultimate expression of the conflict. The Hero and Villain come face to face for the final conflict and/or the Hero must finally face his or her greatest fear.

ACT 3

SECRET 6: The world’s top governments have sanctioned a sabotage program ordering their spies to carry out assassinations of green energy innovators to delay the adoption of new green technology so that they can keep their grip on money and power by maintaining the status quo of fossil fuel usage around the world, ensure they remain on top of the world order.

CRISIS 6. CRISIS/DILEMMA

Hero must make a very tough decision where he or she loses something either way — toughest decision of their lives. Being forced to make a huge choice between their goal and their need.

Sometimes, the decision will complete the Hero’s character arc. In others, it will send them in the opposite direction, allowing them to discover who they really are in the Climax.

His dilemma? Does he play it safe, not risk LoveInterest’s life, back off, allow the status quo, or see it through, acknowledge he lost her already, which is sad, infidelity

MYSTERY 6: Who is the real villain behind all of the sabotage orders and why are they doing it?

COVER UP 6: Spy2 labels Hero a megalomaniac, and tries to convince LoveInterest that Hero must be stopped at all costs.

DANGER: Surveillance – Hero shows LoveInterest footage of Spy#2 killing her brother, and Spy#2 having sex with 2 other women

MISSION20. ESCAPE WITHOUT HER / NEW PLAN: Hero will have to manually launch the rocket, needs LoveInterest’s help, Bombs explode lair, autopilot disabled, Spy shows up, they fight, LoveInterest has to make a choice between her two psychopaths, convinces her, LoveInterest helps Hero escape

VILLAIN11: CRISIS/HOSTAGE/DECISION/ESCAPE: Spy2 tracks down at lair, has Hero at gunpoint, requires the Hero’s unique set of talents, gets Spy2 into conversation, has a job to do, doesn’t care, and is revealed to be a womanizer, LoveInterest is scorned and switches back allegence to Hero and aids his escape, DANGER: Public humiliation. Loss of a job or career.

MISSION21. LAUNCH: Hero launches into space

A20: ESCAPE: Hero evades Spy2 and disappears. He blasts off into space.
Purpose: Insight into Hero: Hero will do anything to finish what he started and get revenge!

ACTION21: DANGEROUS SITUATIONS / COMPETITION: Hero deploys his technology in space. Powers up.

VILLAIN12: FITTING ENDING: Requires the Hero’s unique set of talents, Spy2 dies in some stupid elaborate unescapable contraption, as the Hero watches, knowing that he lost because he didn’t care and was an insufferable self-indulgent womanizing asshole who made the wrong decision and will be on the wrong side of history, unable to McGuiver an escape. And the Hero watches the Villain die.

DANGER: The chance that a relationship could end. – says goodbye to LoveInterest

ACTION23: TORTURE: BURNING / Being eaten by ants.

7. CLIMAX

Final conflict. Face to face showdown. Only one winner.

MISSION22: FIGHT/SHOOTOUT: POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Hero (you are of no consequence), he burns them with Weapons of Mass Destruction solar ignition, then he destroys Earth. DANGER: POTUS says he will ensure Hero has a damaged reputation as a madman
Purpose: The Villain is dead! Hero’s revenge is successful. He is self-actualized.

MISSION21. FULL OUT ATTACK:

Hero successfully launches rocket and is deploying the solar panels, meanwhile Hero destroys the fossil fuel industry infrastructure, Hero deploys technology, it powers up and works

COVER UP 6: POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Hero in space.

RESULT 6: The last mystery is all about the real Villain pulling all the strings. Hero can finally face and deal with the actual Villain.

ACTION: POTUS thanks Hero for ending global warming while firing nuclear missiles at him, Hero defends himself, Hero in a rage destroys earth

8. RESOLUTION

End of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way. The resolution gives us an answer to the question that the Inciting Incident asked. How this conflict has finally been resolved.

MISSION22. SUCCESS:

Fossil fuel industry is gone. Hero ended global warming and got revenge, he is self-actualized, without fear of the consequences, he is happy and self-satisfied…as he floats alone in space. And even though Earth gone, Hero is successful and happy, with a satisfied feeling.

[Michael Katz]

Mystery Chains and Sequences

SECRET 1: The American government sent a spy to sabotage Hero’s technology demonstration as part of a larger worldwide government conspiracy to prevent green energy innovation from supplanting fossil fuels and disrupting the current world order.

MYSTERY 1: Why did Spy1 sabotage the Hero, and who does he work for?

COVER UP 1: Spy1 impersonates an investor at the demonstration, and asks pointed questions to Hero trying to skeptically surmise the impact that the technology will have on world energy production and use, employment, and stock prices.

COVER UP 1: Spy1 assassinates the character of the technology, making it look like the technology went haywire, that it didn’t work, that it was dangerous.

COVER UP 1: Spy1 assassinated the character of Hero, making it look like the inventor is to blame, social media blames him, the University blames him and shut down the project and fired him.

COVER UP 1: Spy1 got away, and took the evidence that pointed to sabotage, so police have no evidence of sabotage, nor evidence of Spy1. No surveillance footage, and police say witnesses don’t corroborate Hero’s story of a belligerent investor. Police instead make Hero a suspect, ordered to stay away from the facility and not to leave town.

RESULT 1: Each of these is a cover up that points to Hero being to blame. The writer has established the “Reality” of Hero’s guilt. But of course he is the victim.

SECRET 2: Companies, politicians, and spies are relentlessly causing obstacles for Hero’s new green product business.

MYSTERY 2: Is Hero being paranoid or is there a vast conspiracy against him?

COVER UP 2: There are rational, unconnected explanations for each of the obstacles.

RESULT 2: Again, each of these cover ups make Hero look bad, but of course he is the victim. And now he is really getting frustrated at the unfairness of it all, especially when he just trying help the world.

SECRET 3: The American government is regularly sending spies to sabotage all green energy innovators, not just Hero, to delay adoption of new green technology indefinitely, or for as long as possible.

MYSTERY 3: If Spy1 wasn’t there to specifically sabotage Hero again, then is he part of a larger government conspiracy to sabotage all green technology innovators, and why?

COVER UP 3: Spy1 tries to pretend that he knew it was Hero, but Hero remains suspicious.

COVER UP 3: Spy1 also tries to keep it small and local, but Hero remains skeptical since California and Austria are quite a beat apart.

COVER UP 3: Spy1 refuses to call himself a spy or reveal who he works for, though he seems to favor Hero thinking it is corporate espionage versus some elaborate international espionage plan.

RESULT 3: Suddenly, with the reappearance of Spy1 in another part of the world, surprised to see Hero, we focus on possibility that Hero, and all green energy innovators, are up against a vast government conspiracy.

SECRET 4: The British government sent Spy2 to investigate Hero and Spy1’s disappearance.

MYSTERY 4: Who is this new fellow, confident and debonair, suddenly inserting himself into Hero’s life?

COVER UP 4: Spy2 is working undercover, impersonating someone appropriate to be in Hero’s orbit.

COVER UP 4: Spy2 always has a good excuse as to why he keeps bumping into Hero in various places.

RESULT 4: With the appearance of Spy2, perhaps Hero, is up against a vast international government conspiracy.

SECRET 5: Spy2 has seduced LoveInterest and made her an asset who is divulging intel.

MYSTERY 5: How does Spy2 stay alive and find Hero at the next location?

COVER UP 5: Spy2 is seen approaching LoveInterest behind Hero’s back as he walks away, clearly smiling and flirting with her as he approaches her with a bottle of champagne and 2 glasses. But when Hero returns from the bathroom, all evidence of Spy2 is gone, and LoveInterest is very nonchalant acting normally.

COVER UP 5: LoveInterest hides her infidelity, saying she was away at the gym and she’s flushed red in the face because she just got back from exercising.

COVER UP 5: Spy2’s repeated ability to locate Hero is rationalized as either luck or skill, not a mole.

RESULT 5: Hero is really feeling paranoid and sad, worrying about the fraying of his relationship with LoveInterest.

SECRET 6: The world’s top governments have sanctioned a sabotage program ordering their spies to carry out assassinations of green energy innovators to delay the adoption of new green technology so that they can keep their grip on money and power by maintaining the status quo of fossil fuel usage around the world, ensure they remain on top of the world order.

MYSTERY 6: Who is the real villain behind all of the sabotage orders and why are they doing it?

COVER UP 6: Spy2 labels Hero a megalomaniac, and tries to convince LoveInterest that Hero must be stopped at all costs.

COVER UP 6: POTUS fires nuclear missiles at Hero in space.

RESULT 6: The last mystery is all about the real Villain pulling all the strings. Hero can finally face and deal with the actual Villain.

[Michael Katz]

Villain: Fossil Fuel Industry, Spy #1, Spy#2, world’s greatest international spy.

Hero: Developing megalomaniac solar astrophysicist.

VILLAIN’S PLAN: Spies routinely sabotage innovative energy demonstrations, steal technology, and kill inventors.

End Goal: To impede energy innovation, eliminate competition, and keep their grip on power.Devious

Intrigue: World’s greatest spy enlisted. Spy craft used. Endless resources. License to kill.

Cover Up of <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Secrets: Government conspiracy to maintain the hierarchy of the world order. They are lending out their spies to carry out assassinations

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>V1: IMPERSONATION/SABOTAGE: Spy#1 ruins the technology demonstration, injures Hero, kills his partner. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>PURPOSE: sympathy for Hero, creates mystery of who the Villain is, shows their diabolical nature.

V2: ESCAPE/KILL HIM: Spy#1’s tries to escape, and Hero tries to apprehend him. Spy#1 threatens Hero, “I will destroy your whole world.” “Find another career, and I won’t kill you.” Hero resists. Spy#1 shoots Hero in the chest and leaves him for dead. PURPOSE: sympathy for Hero as victim, shows the stakes for Hero, Spy#1 is the villain, creates righteous revenge mission, gives glimpse into Hero’s psychological state

V3: INTERFERE WITH OBSTACLES: Laws passed, manufacturing interfered with, bad press, arson, bribes, smear campaign. PURPOSE: sympathy for Hero as frustrated victim, shows Villain is pervasive, formidable, and relentless

V4: IMPERSONATION/SABOTAGE/KILL HIM: Spy#1 attends the technology demonstration to sabotage it, but Hero surprises and kills Spy#1. PURPOSE: Villain’s plan of eliminating competition revealed, Hero switches to villainy

V5: IMPERSONATION/GAMBLING: Spy#2 inserts himself subtly into Hero’s world, Spy#2 meets LoveInterest, beats Hero. PURPOSE:

V6: INVESTIGATION: Spy#2 pokes around Hero’s affairs, gets clues of Hero’s plan

V7: SABOTAGE: Spy#2 stops Hero’s eco-terrorism mission

V8: CHASE: Spy#2 chases Hero, Hero escapes

V9: ATTACK/ATTEMPTS ASSASSINATION: Spy#2 infiltrates Hero’s lair with team equipped with fierce weapons and kill all the minions, Spy#2 ruthlessly kills LoveInterest’s brother, tries to kill Hero, but Hero escapes with LoveInterest, Spy#2 destroys the lair.

V10: CRISIS/DECISION/ESCAPE: Spy#2 tracks down at lair, has Hero at gunpoint, but Spy#2 has a job to do, doesn’t care, and is revealed to be a womanizer, LoveInterest is scorned and switches back allegence to Hero and aids his escape

V11: FITTING ENDING: Spy#2 dies in some stupid elaborate unescapable contraption, as the Hero watches, knowing that he lost because he didn’t care and was an insufferable self-indulgent womanizing asshole who made the wrong decision and will be on the wrong side of history, unable to McGuiver an escape. And the Hero watches the Villain die.

[Michael Katz]

1. Remind us of your CONCEPT and the Big M.I.S. of your story.

CONCEPT: Disruptive green energy technology is being sabotaged by espionage, which sends a solar astrophysicist with developing megalomania on a revenge mission to bring down the entire corrupt fossil fuel industry, who enlist Her Majesty’s Secret Service’s best spy to kill him.

Big Mystery: The main mystery after Waldo’s demonstration is sabotaged by Spy that keeps us wondering throughout the story is “Who is sabotaging green energy innovators and why?”

Big Intrigue: The covert, clandestine, underhanded part that lives under the surface for most of the movie is the cat and mouse game from the Hero’s POV of facing the spy craft of the world’s greatest spy, including having his partner/lover fall in love with the spy and betray him.

Big Suspense: The escalating high stakes, life threatening, main danger that the hero experiences is: will the hero be able to evade the spy and get revenge against the corrupt fossil fuel industry?

2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.

The mysterious world of how a person develops into a megalomaniac, and from their point of view seeing the frustrating pesky interference of spies.

World of an Eastern European astrophysicist, world of how someone turns into a villain, world of a megalomaniac building a lair, exotic locations around the world, world of spy craft, world of deploying solar technology in space

3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:

HERO: Unwitting/unknowing but resourceful Hero: An unassuming, altruistic scientist finds himself the victim espionage, and the trauma triggers a developing megalomania that enables him to become a worthy adversary to the Spy villain, solve the mystery, and ultimately defeat him.

What is the mystery of this character? Who is after him and how will he get revenge?

What is the intrigue of this character? How he transforms into a megalomaniac.

What is the suspense of this character? Is he going to be a victim of the spy?

DANGEROUS VILLAIN: The world’s greatest spy, covert and dangerous, who works for Her Majesty’s Secret Service, is sent to investigate the megalomaniac scientist, and he uses his irresistible charm, wit, and fearless, cruel spy craft to try and stop him from implementing his innovative space solar technology and bringing down the fossil fuel industry.

What is the mystery of this character? How does he always find the megalomaniac and stay alive?

What is the intrigue of this character? Underneath his classy exterior, cool gadgets, and quips…he is a classless, selfish, cruel human being with no accountability.

What is the suspense of this character? Will he be able to stop the megalomaniac?

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz’s Big M.I.S.

CONCEPT: Disruptive green energy technology is being sabotaged by espionage, which sends a solar astrophysicist with developing megalomania on a revenge mission to bring down the entire corrupt fossil fuel industry, who enlist Her Majesty’s Secret Service to kill him.

CONCEPT: An astrophysicist with latent megalomania is sabotaged by espionage because his green space solar technology is an existential threat to existing world order, and now he must evade the world’s greatest spy as he seeks revenge against the entire corrupt fossil fuel industry.

CONCEPT: An astrophysicist, who was going to end global warming with his new space solar technology, is sabotaged by espionage, and consequently he develops into a megalomaniac seeking revenge against the entire corrupt fossil fuel industry, and must avoid being killed by the world’s greatest spy.

1. What are the conventions of your story?

· Unwitting/unknowing but resourceful Hero: An unassuming, altruistic scientist finds himself the victim espionage, and the trauma triggers in him a developing megalomania that fuels his revenge mission.

· Dangerous Villain: The world’s greatest spy, who works for Her Majesty’s Secret Service, is sent to investigate a megalomaniac scientist, and he uses his irresistible charm, wit, and fearless, cruel spy craft to try and stop him from implementing his space solar technology.

· High stakes: Scientist’s life, his partners life, his love interest’s life, Spy #1’s life, Spy #2’s life, green energy innovation, the energy infrastructure, the fossil fuel industry, global warming, the world order, the world.

· Life and death situations: Prototype sabotage, scientist confronting Spy #1, destroying the prototype, the car chase, another attempted sabotage, killing Spy #1, eco-terrorism, Spy #2 assassination attempt, kidnapping Spy #2, Spy #2 in deathtrap, Spy #2 destroying lair, nuclear missiles fired into space to destroy hero’s spaceship, destroying the world.

· This story is thrilling because?: Throughout the story, we are constantly worried for the scientist as his righteous mission pits him against the world’s greatest spy, and as he transforms into a megalomaniac, he continually faces death, and betrayal from his lover, while trying to exact revenge.

2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?

· Big Mystery: After the scientist is sabotaged by the spy, the mystery becomes “Who is sabotaging green energy innovators and why?”

· Big Intrigue: From the hero’s POV, the cat and mouse game of facing the unmatched spy craft of the world’s greatest spy, including having his partner/lover fall in love with the spy and betray him.

· Big Suspense: Will the hero be able to evade the spy and get revenge against the corrupt fossil fuel industry?

[Michael Katz]

Mission: Impossible III (the one with Philip Seymour Hoffman as the bad guy)

Unwitting but resourceful Hero: Ethan Hunt, retired from IMF fieldwork and engaged, is pulled back into a special mission under false pretenses, and has to use all his skill and experience to expose the mole at IMF and save his wife from arms dealer Owen Davian.

Dangerous Villain: Owen Davian, an arms dealer, kidnaps Ethan’s wife, and forces Ethan to steal the Rabbit’s Foot to make a trade. He has considerable resources, connections within the IMF, and a fearless cruelty.

High stakes: Ethan’s life, his wife’s life, the team’s life, Davian’s life, the exposure of the mole inside IMF, allowing the Rabbit’s Foot to fall in the wrong hands, stopping war under false pretenses.

Life and death situations: Rescuing Ethan’s protege Lindsay, capturing Davian at the Vatican, the bridge ambush by mercenaries to extract Davian, stealing the Rabbit’s Foot in Shanghai, Davian shooting Ethan’s wife, Ethan fighting Davian and saving his wife.

This movie is thrilling because?: Throughout the story, we are constantly worried for Ethan as he continually faces death as he tries to save Julia from Davian, as well as survive the mole within the IMF.

Big Mystery: Who is Davian, and what dangerous item is he selling and to whom?

Big Intrigue: Davian is receiving help from someone inside the IMF.

Big Suspense: Will Ethan save his wife?

[Michael Katz]

I, Michael Katz, agree to the terms of the following release form:

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Michael Katz]

Nice to meet everyone. The main thing for me…I want to finally sell a script! Yes, I want the money, but I also want the experience of seeing something I wrote made into a movie. So I guess I am approaching this class thinking pure commercial viability. I believe giving and receiving feedback is part of this process, so please be straightforward with me. I hope we all become a great resource for each other! Happy writing)))

[Michael Katz]

Anyone kind enough to critique mine will of course receive one back))) Thank you!

MEGALOMANIAC

PREMISE — The complete story of a James Bond type villain.

HOOK — Entirely from the villain’s POV.

TWIST — The villain is the hero…the spy the villain.

EXT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – BACKYARD OF A HOUSE – DAY

A boy’s fingers hold a pair of eyeglasses, using one of the extremely thick, high prescription lenses as a magnifying glass to see a splinter stuck in a cat’s paw. The cat meows in pain.

WALDO (O.S.)

Ouchie, Mr. Pudding Cat. Crazy, one little prick…stops the world.

Reversing the POV, the lens makes the intensely focused eye of adorable 10-year-old WALDO KATZ appear larger.

WALDO (CONT’D)

But I can help!

The sad cat sits on top of scattered books, as Waldo, kneeling on the ground, pulls the splinter out with tweezers.

The relieved cat licks his paw.

WALDO (CONT’D)

I wrote you a prescription: look before you leap.

The cat springs forward into a bush, sending scurrying three mice who were walking in a row along the fence.

Waldo notices a tiny plume of smoke rising in front of his eyes. He looks down and sees sunlight shining through a glasses lens and forming a concentrated sunbeam on a dried, withered leaf. A burn spot smolders.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Whoa!

Waldo repositions, laying stomach down on the ground.

Playing with the angle of a lens and the distance to the leaf, he gets the leaf to smolder and generate a tiny flame.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Cool!

An ant meanders into the sunbeam and fries to death.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Oh, god, no!

Waldo cries tears of remorse.

EXT. SPACE

Standard view of Earth.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

We’re headed towards armageddon. It’s inevitable.

INT. COAL MINE

Dirty men mine coal.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

Depletion of Earth’s natural resources.

EXT. OIL FIELD – DAY

Dirty men attend to a spouting oil well.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

Environmental disasters.

EXT. ICE SHELF – DAY

A giant slice collapses, causing a mini tidal wave that speeds toward a family of polar bears on sea ice.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

Global warming.

EXT. BEACH – DAY

A beautiful Swedish bombshell sunbaths in a sexy bikini. She opens her eyes, and speaks directly into the camera. She is the Female Narrator.

BOMBSHELL

What if there was a way to produce clean energy, cheaply and sustainably, without harming the planet?

The bombshell looks up at the sky and basks in the sunlight. The camera POV follows her gaze up to the sun.

EXT. SPACE

Typical view of the Sun.

The silhouette of a long, vertical space station flies across the sun like E.T. across the moon.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Katz Space Solar.

The camera POV then moves so that sunlight reveals that the middle of the space station in made up of a column of 10 humongous magnifying lenses.

INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT – BACKROOM – MORNING

The camera POV pulls back to see we are watching a computer simulation on a small TV monitor on a desk in a dim room.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Harnessing the sun to free the world from fossil fuels.

The video shows a fleet of thousands of mirrors in space reflecting the sun into a receiver at the top of the space station.

A thick beam of light continually grows brighter and more powerful as it travels down through each of the successive magnifying lenses in the space station.

Mr. Ratliff, an American businessman, sits watching the video.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

All the energy the world will ever need.

A monstrous and continuous beam shoots out from the bottom of the space station to Earth and is absorbed by a large Tesla coil attached to a skyscraper peeking through the clouds.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Clean. Safe. Sustainable.

Under the clouds an utopian nighttime cityscape lights up spectacularly. The title “KATZ SPACE SOLAR” ends the video.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Katz Space Solar.

Ratliff excitedly jumps off his chair and flicks on the light switch, revealing his bright smile.

RATLIFF

(Southern accent)

And god said, “Let there be light!” Waldo, I love it!

Now a serious scientist and handsome adult, 40-year-old WALDO KATZ, wearing the obligatory scientist’s white lab coat, grins proudly at Ratliff.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

(playfully, with hands around his mouth)

Magnifying lenses in spaaaaace.

WALDO

Mr. Ratliff, with your investment, you would enable us to start building…

RATLIFF

I want the whole thing, Waldo, and I’m making you an offer you can’t refuse.

WALDO

We’re only selling a minority stake.

RATLIFF

Man, wow! That was Imelyna Michaels sunbathing! Hot damn! Terrific actress of course, too. How’d you land her?

WALDO

Apparently she’s a big environmentalist. My partner made the connection. (pause) I am looking forward to meeting her. She’ll be at the demonstration.

RATLIFF

Waldo, let me say first off, thank you for this first look exclusive. Forget your other prospective investors. Don’t do the public demonstration. Listen, I’m meeting your asking price for the twenty percent, times five for the full one hundred percent. And then I’ll triple things to close the deal. What do you say?

Ratliff approaches Waldo with outstretch hand to shake on the deal. Waldo avoids shaking his hand by grabbing the TV remote off a “Great Green America Company” brochure on the table and clicking off the TV.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

Maybe we should get your partner in here? Anmuth?

WALDO

Anmuth and I would be very pleased, Mr. Ratliff, to have your investment support, but neither of us are selling more than 10% equity.

RATLIFF

With Great Green America Company’s experience and knowhow, your technology will soon become a reality!

WALDO

With your investment, it will soon become a reality.

RATLIFF

You’re a tiny bunch of first timers in a tiny facility in a tiny country. Let the big boys with the infrastructure, experience, and money ensure this project gets to where it needs. You estimate three years to build, right? We can do it in one.

WALDO

We’ll make sure it gets done right. This is my life’s work, and I feel morally obligated to see this project through.

RATLIFF

We’ll keep you on to run things. We’ll even keep your name: Katz Space Solar. You can trust me, Waldo. I’m offering over a billion dollars for the company, Waldo!

WALDO

I wouldn’t even know what to do with $10,000.

RATLIFF

Go shopping, my friend! You’ve earned it. Buy a house. Eat a fancy dinner. Travel the world! Look at you, Waldo. You’re about to meet world-famous Imelyna Michaels! Buy some god damn new shoes for crying out loud! You’re 40. Unmarried. Yes, we do our due diligence. You need to get out. Live a little, Waldo. Live for today!

WALDO

As impressive as Great Green America Company sounds, you may not be a good fit for us.

Ratliff offers his handshake, which Waldo refuses.

RATLIFF

Five times?

INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – MOMENTS LATER

Among various pieces of scientific equipment and computer terminals, fifty people mingle in a horseshoe around something extremely tall and large in the middle of the room hidden underneath a tarp.

There’s a buzz in the room, which hushes when Waldo walks in.

Waldo joins his partner, ANMUTH, who wears a similar white lab coat, at the control panel. They do various things with the wide array of knobs, buttons, and levers.

ANMUTH

(whispers)

How’d it go? Do we have our first investor? Did he like the video?

WALDO

He certainly liked Imelyna Michaels.

ANMUTH

I bet you did, too, Waldo! I’ll introduce you. She’s just over there.

Anmuth points out Imelyna, who is live blogging on her phone. Waldo stops Anmuth before he sets out.

WALDO

Mr. Ratliff wanted to buy us out. Completely. He’d have kept us on if we wanted.

ANMUTH

But he’d have total control, and we agreed not to risk that.

WALDO

Yep. Too many horror stories of innovations shelved in favor of bottom lines.

ANMUTH

I have faith in people…faith that people are greedy. Except you apparently, Waldo. How much did we just turn down?

WALDO

Do I really have to tell you? You could have traveled the world, dining at only Michelin Star restaurants breakfast, lunch, and dinner…for the rest of your life. I can’t believe I just turned down him down.

ANMUTH

Frankly, Waldo, I’d be in disbelief if you had accepted it. Don’t worry. We’ve got a room full of other potentials, though maybe not as large and impressive. Let’s get this demonstration going and stick to the plan. Investors to help get this thing built and adopted. Then we’ll sell it.

WALDO

Thanks, Anmuth. You’re a great partner…and friend. (looks at watch) It’s time.

ANMUTH

Does Vienna even have any Michelin restaurants?

WALDO

Absolutely. Probably, right?

Anmuth steps forward to address the room.

ANMUTH

Hello investors, activists, and sun worshippers, thank you for coming to see us in Vienna. We are extremely excited to have you here today to witness the beginnings of the final energy solution. My name is Dr. Douglas Anmuth. I am Dr. Waldo Katz’ partner in crime. I have probably spoken to most of you on the phone. (pause) Behold!

Anmuth pulls a rope and the tarp lifts away revealing a tall vertical space station prototype simpler than the one seen in the video. Guests gasp, ooh and aah.

Waldo moves into the crowd and pretends he’s a guest.

WALDO

(playfully)

How does it work, Anmuth?

ANMUTH

(gesturing)

Sun goes in there, energy comes out there, and into the battery. And, oh yeah, magnifying lenses in between.

Anmuth grins as he sees Waldo notice that he’s standing next to Swedish model and actress Imelyna Michaels.

ANMUTH (CONT’D)

This is all happening because I happened to be freshman year roommates with a nerd at university. He was a bright young man concerned about the consequences of global warming. A man of conscience, a one of a kind visionary.

As Anmuth continues speaking, Imelyna notices Waldo checking her out.

IMELYNA

(whispering)

Oh my god, I am such an admirer of your work! Thank you for inviting me.

WALDO

(whispering)

I’m a big fan of your work, too. You were terrific in Vampires Are People Too. And thank you, of course, for helping us with our little movie.

IMELYNA

You are welcome. Guess what? I’ve just signed on to do the sequel, Vampires Are People Two.

WALDO

(loudly)

But how?

Anmuth glances at an apologetic Waldo before continuing.

WALDO (CONT’D)

(whispering)

You died. Twice. The sun burned you to ash. How could you…wait, I don’t want to know yet.

IMELYNA

I’m actually not sure myself. The script’s not written yet. But with your knowledge of the sun, maybe you can concoct the loophole.

WALDO

Can I be an extra? One of your victims?

IMELYNA

It would be my pleasure to suck your blood.

Anmuth glances at them amused before continuing.

IMELYNA (CONT’D)

I know you agreed to me livestreaming the demonstration, but can I also get an interview afterwards while I’m here?

WALDO

Exclusive.

IMELYNA

You are very considerate. (loudly) I can’t believe you’re gonna end global warming!

Anmuth raises his voice.

ANMUTH

…and he promised me he was going to lasso the sun. I looked into his eyes, and I believed him. And now his vision takes the next step towards becoming a reality. Dr. Waldo Katz is going to save the world. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Waldo Katz.

Enthusiastic applause erupts as Waldo steps forward humbly.

WALDO

I never did understand why anyone would choose to lasso the moon when the sun was up there too. I mean…I can’t even see the man on the moon! And when I think I see him, he doesn’t look very happy. But the sun! Well…Oh the simplicity of her complexity. Smart, powerful, radiant. Just one truly beautiful star.

Waldo darts a glance at a receptive Imelyna. Both Imelyna and Anmuth smile, separately recognizing that Waldo is speaking about Imelyna.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Spectral class G2. Luminosity class V. How many watts per square meter every second to the Earth? Anmuth?

ANMUTH

1,300 watts.

WALDO

Multiply that by the area of the Earth and number of seconds in a year. Anmuth?

ANMUTH

Carry the 1…150 quadrillion watts.

WALDO

And how much energy does the planet consume in a year?

ANMUTH

Do you want it in light bulbs? Or nuclear explosions?

WALDO

Terajoules.

ANMUTH

The annual global energy consumption is 580 million terajoules.

WALDO

Will our space solar solution be able to harness enough energy from the sun to satisfy all of the Earth’s needs?

ANMUTH

Yes. The entire planet, plus eleven more Earths…if they existed.

WALDO

Clean? Safe? Sustainable?

ANMUTH

Yes. Yes. Yes.

WALDO

Why let the man moon you…when the sun wants to give you a KISS.

Waldo wants to look at Imelyna, but chickens out.

ANMUTH

Katz Space Solar!

The crowd enthusiastically applauds. Waldo notices Ratliff standing too close to the battery receptacle.

WALDO

Anmuth, pass out the sunglasses.

ANMUTH

(announcing)

Everyone needs protective eyewear.

Waldo moves quickly towards Ratliff as Anmuth hands out tinted safety goggles to Imelyna and the rest of the guests.

OVER BY THE CONTRAPTION

Waldo aggressively steps in front of Ratliff, protecting his machine.

WALDO

Still here, Mr. Ratliff?

RATLIFF

See the light yet, Waldo? You’ve done your part. Take the money and let me make sure your work gets properly implemented. Ten times. Final offer.

WALDO

I did just confirm with Anmuth that we’re only selling a minority…

RATLIFF

Okay, okay, Waldo. You’ve worn me down. We’ll take just the minority share.

WALDO

However, we’re no longer interested in partnering with you.

RATLIFF

For a man of conscience, you sure are shortsighted.

WALDO

Please leave, Mr. Ratliff.

Waldo ushers Ratliff away from the machine and takes out a pair of sunglasses from his jacket.

RATLIFF

Can I at least stay for the fireworks? I’m still a fan, Waldo. I just want to see this thing in person before I have to go back to my group and tell them I ruined it.

WALDO

If you stop with the offers. I’m not in the least tempted. You’ll need protective eyewear. We don’t want you getting solar retinopathy.

Waldo points at Anmuth who is handing out eyewear, but Ratliff takes out a pair of sunglasses from his jacket.

RATLIFF

I happen to already have a pair. Hey, cool, mine are the same as yours.

Waldo looks at Ratliff curiously, gestures him towards the group, and walks to the control display.

Waldo turns on the machine, which hums powerfully, and the eager crowd hushes.

ANMUTH

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a celebrity in the house! Ms. Imelyna Michaels, would you please join us.

The crowd applauds as Imelyna joins them while livestreaming.

IMELYNA

(whispering to the phone)

That’s him! That’s Dr. Waldo Katz!

Waldo embarrassedly puts on his sunglasses.

ANMUTH

Everybody. Our future’s so bright, we got to wear shades. Please put on your protective eyewear.

Everybody puts on their glasses. Anmuth gestures a thumbs up to Imelyna, who continues to livestream.

IMELYNA

All the energy the world will ever need.

Imelyna presses a button on the console.

From the top of the space station prototype, a bright thick beam of light shines downwards through a series of large magnifying lens, producing an ever increasingly intense column of energy that speeds into the battery receptacle.

However, when the beam reaches the bottom, it reflects into mirror ball heat rays rotating in a circular motion around the room, burning continuous swaths in all the walls and ceiling.

The crowd screams and panics, scattering and diving to the ground.

Waldo instinctively protects Imelyna by bringing her to the ground just in time as a heat ray barely misses her.

However, Waldo’s glasses fly off his face, and his eyes are no longer protected from the intense lights as he looks around.

Anmuth shuts off the machine just before the final reflected heat ray burns him directly in the face. Waldo watches Anmuth crumble to the ground dead.

Loud chaos and crying fills the room. Waldo notices the actual sun’s sunlight shining through the burned through paths on the ceiling.

From Waldo’s POV he sees sun rays illuminating swirling smoke and dust. But then his vision goes black. Waldo shakes.

Imelyna rushes to help an uneasy but rising Waldo to his feet. She sees his eyes, pulls off her eyewear, and stands in front of him to see the damage.

IMELYNA (CONT’D)

You’re hurt.

WALDO

I hear you in front of me, but I can’t see you.

Out of the corner of his eye Waldo can see Anmuth on the ground, and he uses Imelyna’s support to head towards him. Waldo kneels next to his dead and unrecognizable friend.

Imelyna is about to say something to Waldo as he stands and turns his head slightly to the side to see what’s in front of him. He heads to the battery receptacle where Ratliff was standing.

NOTE: Waldo now has solar retinopathy, which is burned out retinas from looking at the bright beams. He has the opposite of tunnel vision, meaning he can see everything peripherally, just not directly in front of him. FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIE WALDO’S SIGNATURE GESTURE WILL BE TO ALWAYS HAVE HIS HEAD TURNED SLIGHTLY TO ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER.

OVER BY THE CONTRAPTION

Waldo leans over the paneling into the battery receptacle, head slightly turned to see a 4” mini disco mirror ball inside the charred remains of the smoldering battery chamber.

Waldo grabs the mirror ball and holds it in his palm.

IMELYNA

Who would put that in there?

Out of the corner of his eye, Waldo glimpses Ratliff slide out the back door.

EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo bursts out of the backdoor exit and sees Ratliff walking away nonchalantly.

WALDO

Hey! Ratliff!

Waldo catches up and cuts him off.

WALDO (CONT’D)

You killed Anmuth!

Ratliff sees Waldo’s eyes and winces.

RATLIFF

The world will think you did.

WALDO

I have proof!

Waldo takes the mini disco ball out of his jacket pocket and holds it up.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Sabotage? Really? Because I wouldn’t sell out to you?

Ratliff stares blankly. He begins to walk away.

WALDO (CONT’D)

No! You’re going to jail!

Waldo puts the mini disco ball back into his jacket, and grabs Ratliff’s arm to prevent him from leaving.

Ratliff squeezes one of his cufflinks, which electrifies his jacket, causing Waldo to release his grip in pain.

Ratliff karate chops Waldo’s throat, hip tosses him to the ground, controls him with a wrist manipulation, and pins his neck under his knee.

RATLIFF

To the victor…belong the spoils.

Ratliff takes the mini disco ball out from Waldo’s jacket pocket and puts it into his own.

WALDO

(struggling for breath)

What is wrong with you? Why are you…

RATLIFF

Stop pursuing space solar.

Waldo struggles to get up, but Ratliff applies painful pressure to Waldo’s wrist and subdues him.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

Stop.

WALDO

Stop my life’s work? Oh. (pause) You really just want to bury the technology. Big oil? Coal?

Ratliff draws his gun and points it at Waldo. Waldo doesn’t see it, so Ratliff puts the gun at an angle so Waldo sees it.

Waldo is instantly unnerved at seeing the gun, made worse seeing Ratliff’s finger squeeze slightly on the trigger.

RATLIFF

Reconsider a different “life’s work”…or I will kill you.

Ratliff notices Waldo’s pants darkening from urine, and bloody tears welling up in his terrified, injured eyes.

In one motion, Ratliff holsters his gun, stands, and hoists a confused and shaken Waldo to his feet.

Ratliff takes out his sunglasses and puts them on Waldo.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

Your technology will never see the light of day. Isn’t that right, Waldo?

WALDO

(stupefied)

Uh. Right. Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Ratliff.

Waldo watches Ratliff walk away nonchalantly.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Completed Third Act

1. SETUP:

OPENING IMAGE — 10-year-old boy Waldo Katz saves a cat by taking out a splinter from its paw using the thick lenses of his glasses as a magnifying glass. Then he accidentally discovers solar ignition, becoming fascinated with burning holes in leaves, but an ant meanders into the beam and fries to death, causing Waldo to cry tears of remorse.

ACT ONE

Adult Waldo is an altruistic scientist who has invented a revolutionary space solar energy system using magnifying lenses that will end global warming. Waldo is a man of conscience and doesn’t agree to sell his company to a shady buyer. When Waldo demonstrates his technology to investors and dignitaries, it malfunctions, and Waldo is partially blinded and his longtime assistant is killed. Waldo discovers it was sabotage but the police are unable to do anything because it was done by an unknown foreign spy. Waldo vows to bring down the corrupt energy system of entrenched money and power. Imelyna Michaels is an A-list movie star and environmental activist who offers to help Waldo, and she whisks him away to continue his work. What she doesn’t know is that Waldo’s trauma has triggered in him a slow descent into megalomania.

ACT TWO

Part A: Imelyna sets up Waldo first in Sweden and then the U.S. to commercialize pieces of his technology in order to make money to finance their ultimate goal of building and installing his space solar energy system. Waldo invents a magnifier for solar panels that make him a tycoon. However, Waldo must overcome continual interference and roadblocks from greedy corporations, dirty politicians, and immoral spies as they maintain their grip on energy infrastructure. Frustrated, Waldo commits assault against paparazzi, and then kills a Water and Power serviceman at his house that he thought was a spy. Waldo flees the U.S. fearing being arrested.

Part B: Waldo makes a decision to fight fire with fire, turning to villainy to achieve his goal. He devises a masterplan, reorganizes his businesses, hires staff and minions, makes money committing environmental crimes against entrenched interests, builds a secret lair including a death trap, and starts production on his technology. However, Derek Evans is a James Bond type spy who injects himself into Waldo’s life. Waldo suggests Imelyna try to learn information about Evans by pretending to be romantically interested in him, however Waldo doesn’t know that Evans has already made her a lover and an asset.

2. PLOT POINT 2 — Waldo captures the spy and puts him in his death trap, but the spy escapes with Imelyna’s help, and he destroys Waldo’s lair and forces Waldo to flee for his life.

ACT THREE

3. CRISIS

Waldo lures Imelyna and Evans back to Sweden, where he confronts Imelyna about her infidelity. She pleads with Waldo to stop being villainous. Waldo reveals to Imelyna that Evans is not only a conscienceless “license to kill” psychopath who brutally killed her brother, but that he slept with two other women close to her in their organization. Evans admits that it’s both part of his job and a benefit of his job. Waldo asks Imelyna to choose between enabling global warming or ending global warming. Imelyna helps Waldo improvise one last attempt at achieving their goal by helping him blast off into space to implement their plan from the space station.

4. CLIMAX

Waldo successfully operates from within the space station. Waldo’s minions sabotage the energy infrastructure all around the world. He then makes his space solar technology fully operational, and it works. He declares to POTUS and other world leaders that global warming has been solved. Yet the world’s entrenched interests won’t concede and try to assassinate him by shooting nuclear missiles at him in space. Waldo blocks the oncoming nuclear missiles with a broad beam from his magnifying lenses that burn out the missiles’ telemetry. Waldo finally gives into temptation, abandons worrying about the consequences, and just enjoys wielding his great power. Waldo exacts his final revenge, achieving his goal of bringing down the corrupt system of entrenched money and power by turning his space solar system into a weapon of mass destruction. Using the energy beam as a laser cutter, Waldo carves up and completely destroys Earth, ultimately cleaving it in two.

5. RESOLUTION

Waldo observes the carnage and cries tears of joy.

6. FINAL PAGE

Waldo sits alone in the space station floating in space.

“6 days to create the world, huh? Ha! Took me only 6 minutes to destroy it!”

“Apparently…I’m not even the last man on earth.”

“I guess I’m god.”

7. FINAL LINE/IMAGE

Waldo notices the Man on the Moon again frowning on him and uses the space solar magnifier to burn a smiley face on the moon.

Waldo alternates between maniacal laughter and silence as the credits roll.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Characters Live!

“What I learned from this is . . .” Referencing the Character Profile during the writing and rewriting of the scene was very useful in adding in and clarifying characterization elements. Though I’m not happy with my main introductory description of Waldo, nor the cheesy dialogue of the scene, I do feel like his narcissism, delusions of grandeur, and hotheadedness came through clearly.

Day 4 Assignment: Characterization

Write a scene focusing on characterization.

——————————

INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT – CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING

Full screen white. Pull out and it’s a concentrated energy beam coalescing from thousands of smaller energy transmissions coming from individual solar panels. Back further and this is happening in space. Above Earth.

We are watching a video of a computer simulation. The beam shoots down toward earth, and is absorbed by a humongous Tesla coil sitting on top of a skyscraper so tall it is peaking through the clouds.

Pull back out of the video to see we are in a dark room solely lit by the TV monitor. There are four suit-wearing executives sitting along one side of a large conference table. They are watching the monitor showing a brightly lit utopian cityscape at night.

The video ends with the titling: “KATZ SPACE SOLAR / LET THERE BE LIGHT”.

WALDO KATZ bursts into the room, the door hitting the wall, though the thud doesn’t shock the gentlemen. Waldo flicks on the light switch.

WALDO

(showman)

Let there be light!

35-year-old scientist Waldo Katz, now all grown up, as good looking as a fashion model, cooly struts into the room, wearing the obligatory white lab coat and horn rimmed glasses, commanding everyone’s attention.

WALDO (CONT’D)

(mocking with hands around his mouth)

Magnifying lenses in spaaaaace.

One of the suits is about to speak.

WALDO (CONT’D)

(dead serious)

Katz Space Solar. Powering the entire planet. Sustainable. Cheap. Safe.

SUIT 1

We love it. We want to buy it. We don’t even need to see…

WALDO

The greatest inventor of all time in action.

SUIT 1

Yes, the live demonstration. No need. Cancel it. We’ve seen your research, well as much as you’ve shared, and we want the whole thing.

WALDO

You can’t have the whole thing. As I mentioned. I am only selling a piece to help finance me building the damn thing!

SUIT 1

We are prepared to compensate you handsomely…for your…revolutionary device. Not double or triple. Ten times. A billion dollars.

WALDO

(beat)

And you will still call it Katz Space Solar?

SUIT 1

(beat)

Yes.

WALDO

Full payment upfront. And salary…a million dollars a year, benefits, expense account, blah blah…until we are fully operational. It’ll take me three years to get this thing built.

Suit 1 gives SUIT 2 a “it’s your turn” look.

SUIT 2

We will not be needing your services.

Waldo calmly picks up the remote control on the table and powers off the monitor with a click.

WALDO

As I mentioned to…him…

(refers to Suit 1)

Why do I have to repeat myself? Mr….?

SUIT 2

Evans. Derek Evans.

Waldo slowly paces back and forth.

WALDO

Mr. Evans, a piece becomes the whole thing becomes you are firing me. Only I…only I understand the technology! Only I…

EVANS

Our scientists are more than capable. We’ll have your research and your prototype.

WALDO

(mocking with hands around his mouth)

In spaaaaace.

EVANS

We’ll figure it out. Go do your next thing. Work on something else.

WALDO

You’re messing with my place in history. Waldo Katz saved the goddamn world!

EVANS

We just feel more comfortable…

(beat)

You get angry.

Waldo stares apoplectic, but realizes he can’t win. He tucks a strand of hair back behind his ear and starts laughing.

WALDO

You’re making me angry.

Waldo throws the remote at Evans, misses, and struts out the room still speaking, while Evans nonchalantly stands and tucks his chair underneath the table as Waldo’s voice fades…

WALDO (O.S.) (CONT’D)

I’m about to become fucking famous. Mr. Sunshine. Turn this mother fucking world upside down. Come into my laboratory? Try and tell me…

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Dueling Agendas

“What did you learn from this assignment?” Writing the scene was relatively easy and straightforward having the essence outline of the scene, and both characters’ agendas clearly delineated and competing. I wanted to pick an early scene, and found one that fit the assignment. Feels good to get the first scene written, regardless of quality.

Assignment: Go into your outline and select a scene where two characters have competing agendas. Be sure to highlight the character’s agendas through their actions and dialogue.

————————————–

Scene 6:

WALDO’S AGENDA: to prevent Evans from fleeing the scene and make him accountable for sabotaging his demonstration.

EVANS’ AGENDA: to persuade Waldo to pursue another course.

EXT. INDUSTRIAL ALLEYWAY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo bursts out of the backdoor exit and sees Evans walking away nonchalantly, head turning back to see the cause of the noise.

WALDO

Hey!

Evans continues to casually walk. Waldo catches up and cuts him off. Evans calmly stops.

WALDO

Mr. Evans, you burned me!

Evans stares blankly.

WALDO

You killed people!

EVANS

Social media will say you killed people.

Waldo takes the mini disco ball out of his jacket pocket and holds it up.

WALDO

I have proof!

Evans stares blankly.

WALDO

So sabotage? Because I didn’t sell you my technology?

Evans stares blankly. He begins to walk.

WALDO

No! You’re going to jail!

Waldo puts the mini disco ball back in his jacket, and grabs Evans’ arm to prevent him from leaving.

Evans presses his cufflink, which electrifies his jacket, causing Waldo audible pain and forcing him to release his grip.

In two seconds, Evans punches Waldo’s injured shoulder, karate chops his throat, hip tosses him to the ground, controls him with a wrist manipulation, and pins him under his knee.

EVANS

To the victor belong the spoils.

Evans takes the mini disco ball from Waldo’s jacket pocket and puts it in his own. Waldo struggles, so Evans applies pressure to Waldo’s wrist to subdue him.

EVANS

Just stop. Stop pursuing space solar.

WALDO

That’s my life’s work! You don’t get to dictate…

Evans draws his gun and points it at Waldo, who is unnerved seeing his finger squeeze slightly on the trigger.

Evans contemplates killing Waldo as he stares coldly into his terrified eyes.

In one motion, Evans holsters his gun, stands, and hoists a surprised Waldo to his feet.

EVANS

Reconsider a different “life’s work”…or die.

WALDO

OK. Thank you, Mr. Evans.

EVANS

No hard feelings.

Evans punches Waldo’s injured shoulder, chuckles, and walks nonchalantly away.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Subtext and Loglines

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Feels like this character development exercise made the movie idea real. And properly sinister. Just so happens that a villain and a spy and an actress perfectly fit the Covert Identity technique. So the opportunities for subtext are inherent in the plot, but, again, the process of labeling and elucidating helps ensure proper capturing of intent.

Create subtext and loglines for your three main characters.

———————————————

Name: Protagonist Dr. Waldo Katz/Victorino Royce, 40, Scientist/Tycoon/Villain/Megalomaniac

Traits: prideful, brilliant, greedy, jealous, villainous

Subtext: Villainous

Character Logline:

A. Waldo is a scientist who wants credit for inventing technology that will end global warming and save the planet, but comes up against a government spy who keeps sabotaging him, so he turns to villainy to obtain enough power to overcome the interference.

Possible areas of subtext: Suspicious of Imelyna cheating. Conversations with spy Evans. Keeps location of building battery a secret. Lures Evans to lair. Lures Imelyna to rescue Evans

———————————————

Name: Antagonist Derek Evans, 35, government spy

Traits: smug, physical, dutiful, womanizer, villainous

Subtext: Villainous

Character Logline: Derek Evans has a mission to stop Waldo from becoming too powerful in order to keep the world safe, and he seduces Imelyna to make her turn against Waldo.

Possible areas of subtext: Seduces Imelyna. Pretexts for visiting Victorino. Conversations with Victorino and Imelyna.

———————————————

Name: Connected Character Imelyna Michaels, 30, A-list actress, Environmental activist

Traits: bleeding heart, moral, business savvy, actress

Subtext: Actress

Character Logline: Imelyna Michaels is an environmental activist who supports Waldo Katz and his technology to end global warming, but comes up against a government spy determined to stop Waldo, and switches sides.

Possible areas of subtext: Convinces Waldo to relocate. Pretends to be okay with Waldo’s turn to villainy because it scares her. Hides Evans visiting her. Sneaky/secretive in meeting with Evans. Suspiciously emailing. Conspiring with Evans against Victorino.

———————————————

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is…that I had pretty much already instinctually done this first basic level of character development, but just not properly broken it down, organized it, and labeled the distinctions. I like ensuring the characters have issues, flaws, and inconsistencies to make them human, and give them depth. I also liked giving the characters opposing characterizations, and I’m wondering if that is to come in another exercise as a way to create conflict.

———————————————

WALDO / VICTORINO’S CHARACTER PROFILE

PROTAGONIST

Dr. Waldo Katz/Victorino Royce:

Scientist/Tycoon/Villain/Megalomaniac

40 years old

1. Basic character traits:

– metrosexual debonair

– psychologically obsessed/strong-willed (megalomaniac)

– brilliant/clever/esoteric

– immature/peculiar/unique humor

2. Want/Need:

– Waldo WANTS to take over the world to prove his technology is great.

– Waldo NEEDS to be worshipped (needs adulation).

– He’d say that adulation isn’t driving his desire to take over the world, even though it is.

– He’d say he just wants to prove his technology works and is beneficial.

– Waldo WANTS to change/elevate his status in the world in order to feel worshipped – his NEED.

3. Paradoxes (Warring elements):

– Not empathetic vs. loves Imelyna

– Brutal tactics vs. delicate constitution

– not afraid of conflict but is paranoid

– big picture thinker vs. attention to smallest detail

– worried about place in history vs. worried about his hair

– refined demeanor vs. visceral impulses

– beneficial technology/ends vs. detrimental tactics/means

– altruistic vs. wants credit

4. Secret:

– When Waldo was a teenager, he became fascinated with magnifying lenses, and from ants…he graduated to arson, and purposefully burned down his house with his parents inside.

5. Flaw:

– Waldo’s flaw: He thinks he is greater than he actually is. He is self-absorbed. He is prideful.

6. What is special about this character?

– Extreme: He’s a megalomaniac.

– Cool: He’s the greatest inventor of all time.

– Profound: He has a heart of gold.

———————————————

———————————————

EVANS’ CHARACTER PROFILE

ANTAGONIST

Derek Evans

Government spy

35 years old

1. Basic character traits:

– man’s man debonair

– mindlessly dutiful/psychologically un-conflicted (spy)

– physical violence

– smug one-liners

2. Want/Need:

– Evans WANTS to stop Waldo.

– Evans NEEDS to be psychologically un-conflicted about his dangerous homicidal job.

– He’d say that mindless dutiful physical violence isn’t driving his desire to stop Waldo, even though it is.

– He’d say he just wants to stop a bad guy.

– Evans WANTS to change/finish the job in order to feel psychologically un-conflicted – his NEED

3. Paradoxes (Warring elements):

– Debonair/Smug one-liners vs. violent/homicidal

– Works for the good guys vs. womanizer/misogynistic

4. Secret:

– Evans doesn’t always agree with his mission.

– He likes killing.

5. Flaw:

– Evans doesn’t care.

6. What is special about EVANS?

– Extreme: Evans is a secret agent with a license to kill.

– Intense: Evans is resourceful, quick thinking, and undefeatable.

– Cool: Evans is cool and confident. Evans likes fast cars and fast women.

———————————————

———————————————

IMELYNA’S CHARACTER PROFILE

Love interest in Dramatic Triangle

Imelyna Michaels

30 years old

A-list movie star

Environmental activist

1. Basic character traits:

– bleeding heart/dangerously softhearted

– moral/ethical

– business savvy

– sassy

2. Want/Need:

– Imelyna WANTS to help Waldo end global warming.

– Imelyna NEEDS to be morally/ethically working toward saving the planet.

– Imelyna WANTS to help Waldo end global warming in order to feel connected and serving the planet – her NEED.

3. Paradoxes (Warring elements):

– Environmental activist vs. lavish lifestyle

– Actress vs. wears heart on sleeve

4. Secret:

– Imelyna had an affair during her last movie with her married director.

5. Flaw:

– Imelyna cares too much.

6. What is special about Imelyna?

– Extreme: A-List actor

– Profound: Some experience sets Imelyna on the path of environmental activism.

———————————————

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Outline Version 2

Present your outline and exchange critiques.

1. List the following key components of your story:

A. Concept:

Think James Bond villain, entirely from the villain’s POV, and it’s his complete story, origin to tragedy, so in addition to the usual victimhood and vow to take over the world, we’re also witnessing his growth to tycoon, evolution to villain, and metamorphosis into megalomaniac…plus, in a twist, the tragic earth-shattering consequences when the government spy fails to stop him.

B. Plot Choice:

Ascension/Descension – the rise/fall of the protagonist. Strong-willed, charismatic, and unique, Victorino rises in power as he descends into megalomania.

C. Character Structure:

Dramatic Triangle between the Dr. Victorino Royce the villain, Imelyna Michaels the movie star/environmental activist girlfriend, and Derek Evans the government spy. Victorino owes his opportunity to get vindication to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Evans, who is trying to stop Victorino, is attempting to turn Imelyna against him.

D. Lead Characters (*Name* is an *identity* who *does X in the story*.):

PROTAGONIST

Dr. Waldo Katz (changes his name to Victorino Royce) is a narcissistic scientist who invents a space solar energy system that will end global warming, but he starts to suffer from megalmania after his work is sabotaged by a government spy, and it triggers his pursuit of world domination.

IMPACT CHARACTER

Imelyna Michaels, an A-list movie star and environmental activist fighting against global warming, supports the development of Victorino’s technology and falls in love with him…until he turns to villainy.

ANTAGONIST

Debonair government spy Derek Evans, with his smug one-liners and timely gadgets, is tasked with keeping the world safe by subverting the rise to power of psychopathic scientist Dr. Waldo Katz, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset.

E. Dramatic Question:

Can Victorino take over the world and get vindication?

F. Main Conflict:

Spy Evans keeps trying to stop Victorino’s rise in power.

G. Dilemma:

Victorino has to choose between self-interest or Imelyna.

H. Theme:

Megalomaniacs destroy everything in their wake

I. Character Arc of Lead Character (if any):

BIGGEST FEAR

Victorino is afraid others don’t recognize his greatness.

CHARACTER ARC

Victorino goes from weak altruistic scientist to smiteful almighty god.

Outline Version 2

1. OPENING

EXT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND – DAY

10-year-old WALDO KATZ uses his thick lensed glasses as a magnifying lens to pull a splinter from a cat’s paw. After being bullied, he uses the magnifying lens to burn ants.

INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING

An acquisition company offers to buy 40-year-old scientist DR. WALDO KATZ’s giant space magnifying lens technology that harnesses the sun, beams energy to batteries on earth, and sustainably and cheaply power the entire planet. However, they don’t want his services. Narcissistic Waldo is outraged because only he can comprehend the technology.

INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – LATER

Waldo meets guests in attendance for his live demonstration, including enamored movie star and environmental activist IMELYNA MICHAELS, who covers the event for her social media. She gushes that his invention will end global warming. Waldo notices a guest, DEREK EVANS, too close to the prototype battery and ushers him away.

2. INCITING INCIDENT

INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo turns on the machine. Light shines through the series of magnifying lens, producing an intense column of energy that speeds into the battery. However, the beam mistakenly ricochets like laser shots, burning Victorino and killing several guests.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT

INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna, concerned about injured Waldo, joins him as he finds a 4” mini disco mirror ball inappropriately placed inside the battery chamber. She wonders who would sabotage his technology. Waldo glimpses Evans sliding out the back door.

EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo confronts Evans, who is unforthcoming. Waldo grabs his arm to prevent him from leaving, and Evans presses his cufflink, which electrifies his jacket and frees him from Waldo’s grip. Evans wins the fight in 3 seconds, takes the disco ball from Waldo’s jacket pocket, contemplates killing Waldo, but just pepper sprays him.

INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

A bandaged, disheveled Waldo is furious as the UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT informs him that they have to pull the plug on his project despite its promise because the catastrophe killed several VIPs. As Imelyna approaches, a DETECTIVE takes Waldo away for questioning.

INT. POLICE STATION INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT

Detective returns to inform Waldo that the company he accuses of being saboteurs doesn’t exist. And to further Waldo’s dismay there is no Derek Evans in the country either. Further investigation is required, and his laboratory an off-limits crime scene.

EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER

Waldo exits, and Imelyna is waiting for him. He vents a theory that it was economic espionage orchestrated by a foreign government. She doesn’t think he’s being paranoid and offers to let him stay at her hotel because it may not be safe for him at his home.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – THE NEXT DAY

While eating room service, Imelyna reluctantly shows Waldo various social media labeling him as crazy and dangerous, a coward as he is shown fleeing the scene, and a red-faced crybaby. Victorino feels ruined. Imelyna begs Waldo not to give up because the world needs him. How is he supposed to get vindication when powerful interests are out to get him. He jokes that maybe he should just take over the world. Or better yet, just blow this shit up. They have sex.

INT. LIMOUSINE – DAY

Imelyna drops Waldo off at the Pilot Plant. She offers to sponsor him. He can relocate, start anew, work incognito, and reinvent himself. Waldo isn’t sure he is ready to give up and leave his home and country. If he reconsiders, she’ll be leaving later that day.

4. FIRST TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT ONE

INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – DAY

Waldo is stunned to find his laboratory empty, all his work gone. THUGS chase him off the premises. Waldo flees, and calls Imelyna, “What time’s your flight?”

EXT. SWEDEN / INT. PRIVATE PLANE – DAY

Imelyna shows Waldo the beauty of the Arctic, but also the increasing effects of global warming.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – LATER

Imelyna takes Waldo on a tour of the estate she bought with the money from her movie trilogy. He can convert a workspace into a laboratory. Waldo suggests he first commercialize a piece of his technology so they can build up a war chest.

INT. WORKSPACE – DAY

Waldo adds a double layer magnifying glass to a solar panel, increasing energy by 1000%. For manufacturing they’ll need pure silica sand. Imelyna calls her TRAVEL AGENT.

EXT. MALDIVES BEACH – DAY

Waldo and Imelyna lounge under an umbrella on an empty strip of white sand beach. Waldo questions whether she really wants to plunder such a nice beach, but Imelyna explains the tiny island will soon be submerged beneath the rising ocean. They frolic in the water and have sex on the beach.

INT. PRIVATE PLANE – DAY

While Imelyna is busy typing on her laptop, Waldo is watching one of her movies. He pauses in the middle of a love scene, and jealously asks her what the premise is for upcoming project. She’s voicing a character in an animated movie. He unpauses the movie.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY / INT. ROLLS-ROYCE PHANTOM EXTENDED – DAY

Driver chauffeurs Imelyna and Waldo home. Imelyna reads from her business plan discussing setting up factory operations in eco-minded and nearby Palm Springs. Driver pulls into Imelyna’s impressive Malibu beach house.

EXT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Waldo walks through Imelyna’s stunning indoor outdoor living house and heads to the ocean view. Imelyna’s BROTHER, celebrity fitness Brother and stunt double for Chris Hemsworth in Thor, is working out. Waldo wants him to teach him how to fight, however Brother, who is exceptionally nice and spiritual, espouses physical violence only as the last resort.

INT. BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT

They are jet-lagged and getting ready for bed. Waldo notices a framed magazine featuring her as a child actress. She had changed her last name when she moved to Hollywood. Waldo thinks maybe he might want to change his name too to help keep them incognito. Royce. Victorino Royce.

INT. PALM SPRINGS – FACTORY – DAY

HR MANAGER, Imelyna, and Victorino interview applicants for various jobs, with Victorino asking a few paranoid questions. In yellow hardhats and vest, everyone gets to work unloading and setting up equipment. The production line is soon operational, and Victorino directs the manufacturing of new magnifying solar panels.

INT. FACTORY – DAY

Imelyna complains that retailers won’t buy technology based on her name, and she is wary of using Waldo’s name since his reputation has been trashed, and they want to remain incognito anyway. Victorino Royce has no track record, no bank affiliation, no social media presence, not even a kickstarter. Victorino suggests they sell it directly to Imelyna’s fans.

INT. QVC STUDIO – DAY

Taping a segment, the HOST raves about Imelyna’s career and environmental work. Imelyna describes the magnifying solar panel features and benefits, but Victorino can’t resist joining in and dominating the sales pitch. He charms the Host and callers. Record sales.

INT. FACTORY – DAY

Production line is humming. They are shipping magnifying solar panels by the truckload. Imelyna excitedly shows Victorino figures on her iPad of huge orders and exponential revenue. The backorders are still growing. The sites for the 2nd and 3rd factories have been chosen, however a sand shipment has been delayed in port.

INT. AWARD GALA – EVENING

PUBLICIST reports to Victorino and Imelyna that People Magazine, Forbes, and Time want to feature them. She toasts, “To Vimelyna”. And Fitness Magazine wants to include Brother.

From the podium Imelyna introduces Victorino and gives him the prestigious technology innovation award. He thanks her for her business acumen, love, and support. He announces a newly invented solar battery which increases energy efficiency and storage by 1200%. “Can I just have next year’s award now?”

Victorino and Imelyna schmooze as a power couple. They slow dance intimately, but Imelyna jokingly musses up Victorino’s hair, which infuriates him. She fixes his hair, but he excuses himself to the bathroom. As Victorino walks away, we see behind him that Evans approaches Imelyna with a flirtatious smug smile.

INT. BEACH HOUSE – LATER

Watching the news Victorino is happy with how well he was received. Victorino gets a call that IP was stolen off their server. But he is isn’t bothered because he put fake schematics on the server, keeping all of the recipes in his head. However, he is jealous of how perfectly put together Imelyna is, and he wants a makeover to look like a certified tycoon.

INT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Imelyna has designers bring their latest collections for Victorino to try on, and they choose a few outfits. One DESIGNER has a vision for Victorino and will do a custom job.

EXT. ROSE BOWL FLEA MARKET – MORNING

Flaunting his new digs, Victorino and Imelyna step out of the Rolls Royce for a shopping spree. Imelyna thanks him for forgoing Rodeo Drive, but “reuse” is one of the four R’s of recycling. Victorino and Imelyna have fun buying vintage jewelry, gaudy art, absurd sculptures, and bizarre artifacts. Victorino is transfixed by a taxidermy cat that looks like his from when he was a kid.

EXT. ROSE BOWL FLEA MARKET – LATER

Imelyna is ordering bacon dogs from a vendor, while Victorino is pacing on the phone with his ATTORNEY who informs him of 23 patent infringement lawsuits designed to either settle for a quick payout or to deliberately slow their progress. Behind them, Evans surreptitiously helps another worker load their purchased items, including the cat, onto their moving truck.

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Victorino walks around with his taxidermy cat, looking for a place to put it. Imelyna reads an email out loud that reports that the government just passed a retroactive red tape regulatory law, which will slow the sales process. Victorino is angry and frustrated, unable to find a suitable place for his cat.

EXT. BEACH HOUSE – MORNING

Victorino and Brother spar using several different martial arts disciplines, however Victorino is impatient with his progress. Brother gets Victorino to meditate using “envision the vision” mumbo jumbo, and the process triggers something peculiar, scary, and calming within him.

INT. LA RESTAURANT – EVENING

Victorino and Imelyna are eating, and the Attorney calls to report that the government is ending tax incentives for solar panels. Imelyna pours Victorino a glass of wine. Victorino suggests they hire some lobbyists and play politics. He excuses himself to make a call. Over his shoulder we see Evans sit in his seat and drink his glass of wine. Imelyna’s demeanor isn’t welcoming, but it also isn’t surprised.

INT. LA RESTAURANT – MOMENTS LATER

Victorino returns and sits at the table as Imelyna pours him wine into a new glass. A fly she explains.

EXT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Victorino spars aggressively with Brother, and Imelyna joins and repeatedly takes down Victorino to his dismay.

INT. MUSEUM GALA – EVENING

At their charitable fundraiser, Victorino expresses to Imelyna his frustration that they haven’t begun the process of getting vindication for his space magnifier. Imelyna reminds him that they now have the money, but they don’t yet have any real power.

Speaking to the guests, Imelyna announces the sizable fundraising total. However, Victorino steals the spotlight with a surprise announcement that he is running for governor.

INT. BEACH HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY

Imelyna learns her email was hacked, including stolen nude photos, and she is the subject of a tabloid cheating scandal involving the married director from her last movie. On the phone AGENT says her character voiceover will be replaced on the movie, and she’ll be recast for her upcoming project. Publicist conjectures that the scandal probably ends Victorino’s political aspirations. Though Imelyna prefers to keeps a low profile for a while, Victorino wants to retaliate, but nobody knows against who or how.

INT. ATTORNEY OFFICE – DAY

Attorney reports that the government has documents showing they patented the exact same magnifier technology ten years ago, so Victorino is going to eventually lose the patent infringement lawsuits and then have to turn over all profits with some possible punitive fines. Victorino is enraged at the lie and rigged system.

EXT. ATTORNEY OFFICE – LATER

As Victorino leaves the building, he is harassed by paparazzi. One by one he forcibly takes their cameras and smashes them. The last guy preemptively smashes his own camera.

INT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

While packing suitcases, Victorino and Imelyna are arguing about the prospect of losing the lawsuit, having to forfeit all their money, and having accomplished nothing. Imelyna thinks they’ve helped the world by enabling a lot of people to install efficient solar. She thinks they both just need to lay low and get away for a bit. Victorino thinks they need to blow the whole thing up!

EXT. BEACH HOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

Driver is putting the bags into the car as Victorino walks outside and glimpses a spy disappear down the side of the house. Using his martial arts training, Victorino kills him. He then realizes the guy was an electric company meter reader. Victorino calmly joins Imelyna in the car.

INT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – MOMENTS LATER

The car is eerily silent but for a newscast on the radio reporting that Victorino Royce is caught on tape assaulting paparazzi and smashing their cameras. He is wanted for questioning.

5. MID-POINT

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – NIGHT

Victorino electronically hides all the company’s holdings, converting into cryptocurrency, shell corporations, Swiss bank accounts, diamonds, gold, and cash. Victorino calls the attorney and says he needs a few less than reputable referrals.

EXT. MICHAELS ESTATE – THE NEXT DAY

Victorino thinks they have the money to build out the full-size magnifying solar energy system themselves, but Imelyna says they still won’t have the power to have it implemented. She suggests building another prototype there first, and do a demonstration for likeminded people that she’ll invite. There is strength in numbers.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING

Victorino and Imelyna host a summit of concerned A-list actors, dedicated environmentalists, controversial international environmental groups like Greenpeace, and Publicist, Brother, and HR Manager. The taxidermy cat is the table’s centerpiece. Publicist writes on the whiteboard the groups’ answers to Victorino’s question: what is the biggest threat we face in the world today? Global warming, nuclear proliferation, famine, wealth inequality. Victorino explains that it is self-interest. Greed for money, greed for power, greed for fame. Entrenched interests rigging the game to preserve the status quo. Victorino asks the group to share victimization stories of sabotage, interference, and corruption. They all vow to pool resources, connections, and fight.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE WORKSPACE – DAY

Victorino explains: when we remove the need for energy from the equation, all the world’s problems will be solved. He hesitates and looks around nervously before beginning the demonstration. This time the solar energy is properly absorbed into the battery. The efficiency, output, and storage numbers surprise even Victorino.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – LATER

Everyone enjoys lunch, and there is a good vibe. Victorino interrupts and with self-righteous indignation reports that Congress has just introduced new legislation increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies, as well as opening up new lands for drilling. Victorino immediately and the arson news to the group, changing the atmosphere.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE CONFERENCE ROOM – AFTERNOON

We get to watch a fascinating brainstorming session with Publicist writing on the whiteboard throughout. They banter around ideas for the group name, wacky locations to build secret lairs, creative ways to finance operations, the ethics of ecoterrorism, brainstorming exercises to get past blockages, sarcastic wit, egos, grandstanding, discord, and agreement. On the whiteboard: “Masterplan – all ideas are bad ideas until Victorino approves them (jk)”. “Lairs – 3?”, “Rockets – call Elon”, “Minions – life servitude/squid game”, “Project name (nothing greek!) – Sunshine & Rainbows:)”, “TV Commercial and/or propaganda documentary?” They also need to recruit lackeys, bodyguards, thugs, and minions for each lair. Victorino’s two ideas: hire all coal minors for double their going salaries?; bring in a gadget guy, like Q from the James Bond movies.

INT. BEDROOM – EVENING

Victorino gets off the phone with TRAVEL AGENT and sees Imelyna suspiciously texting someone on her phone. He tells her they have good sites picked out, and they’ll leave after the taping. And he got revenge for her…the people who hacked her phone and published her nude photos have just been arrested for child pornography. While she appreciates Victorino’s intentions, she’s worried about his behavior, the direction they are heading, and the type of people he wants to work with and hire. The ends don’t justify the means.

EXT. MICHAELS ESTATE – THE NEXT DAY

Brother leads Victorino, Imelyna, Publicist, and HR Manager through meditative exercises. Victorino goads Imelyna into sparring. He is rough but she still bests him.

EXT. THREE EXOTIC LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD – DAY

MONTAGE:

Different realtors in 3 different countries takes them on tours of remote, ridiculous locations to build secret lairs.

They meet with various experts showing cutting edge computer networks and building security. Victorino wants secret passageways, surveillance, two-way mirrors, and hidden weapons. Realtor, who has been shocked and silent by the conversation, timidly suggests during a pause, “And trap doors?”

They have various exotic animal handlers show them pet options i.e. sloth, snake, spider, fireflies, ants. Victorino says the ants are interesting, but he definitely wants a cat placed into his arms immediately when he arrives at each lair.

He meets with GADGET GUY who demonstrates vicious, over-the-top weapons for Victorino, who wants each lair to have culturally appropriate weaponry and gadgets, with obligatory briefcases with the styrofoam cut outs.

Victorino purposefully schedules a meeting with SPY TRAP GUY when he knows Imelyna will be away.

Victorino buys local politicians, police, and judges.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE BEDROOM – EVENING

Imelyna breaks an awkward silence and mentions that Designer sent three custom outfits for Victorino, which they’ll get tomorrow. She hands him a new pair of glasses, which he tries on. Victorino asks if she would like to get married and have kids because he thinks they should since they make such a great team and he loves her. She would love to, but she’s surprised at the timing with so many projects going on, and he’s been so focused. Victorino wants it all. “Who are we saving the planet for anyway if not for our own kids.”

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – THE NEXT DAY

Victorino tries on Designer’s three custom outfits, two of which are perfect. Victorino doesn’t quite feel comfortable in the third, and Imelyna hates it because it makes him look like a crazy person. “Maybe it’ll grow on you. Maybe I just need to grow into it.”

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – DAY

Filming a segment on the TV newsmagazine “60 Minutes”, with their location a secret, Victorino and Imelyna are being interviewed. Victorino usurps the interview to defend Imelyna’s honor, deny killing a utility worker, and spread government conspiracies. He asks the citizens of the world to support him as he fights to clear his name. All he wants is to save the planet.

EXT. LAIR 1 – DAY

Victorino, Imelyna, Brother, Publicist, HR Manager stare at an oil tank farm, not knowing how to get in. Victorino says, “Trap door.” The ground beneath them gives way and they slide inside.

INT. LAIR 1 – DAY

Victorino is handed a cat, and they walk downwards along a long hallway into a huge hall in full operation with consoles, computers, scientists, and construction workers. Victorino receives several reports. The fabrication of the giant series of magnifying lenses is on schedule.

INT. LAIR 1 – NIGHT

They are eating dinner, and Imelyna confirms that all the factories received the new specs for the space solar panels. We still need to decide where we want our building-size battery to be. A city in the U.S. is ideal, but it would be difficult for us to oversee its construction. Victorino reveals he’s already taken over responsibility for the building of the battery and not to worry since the location must remain a secret, and we can’t want another hacking of her email.

EXT. SPACEX LOMPOC CALIFORNIA ROCKET LAUNCHING PAD – DAY

Victorino and Elon Musk are watching thousands of magnifying solar panel satellites being unloaded from a fleet of trucks and loaded onto a rocket that is horizontal on the bed of a monster truck. Elon: “I had five inventions, but the government only allowed me to pick two. Ever see The Jetsons? Flying cars? So much fun to flive, but they said I was reckless and actually confiscated my prototype!” Victorino: “I have a driver. Hey, how much is a rocket?”

EXT. LAIR 2 – DAY

Victorino says to Imelyna, “Reuse, right?” They stare at a collapsed coal mine, not knowing how to get in. Victorino holds up his phone and plays a canary whistle. A camouflaged door opens. Imelyna laughs, “A little on the nose.”

INT. LAIR 2 – DAY

Victorino is handed a cat, and they walk a long hall into a huge room in full operation with consoles, computers, scientists, and construction workers. They watch a feed of an ecoterrorism underwater strike force ram a hole into an oil tanker, causing a catastrophic leak.

An operator at a console interrupts Victorino and asks if he can ask a question. Victorino nods. “How is spilling oil into the ocean and causing an environmental disaster aligned with our goal of saving the environment?” Victorino kills him, and says he appreciates the question and explains to the rest of the silent room that the ends justify the means. Industrial espionage is the name of the game. Corporation against corporation. Country against country. Legacy versus new technology. The oil tanker wasn’t for free. It pays our bills, finances our larger mission. And we are not saving the environment. We are saving the human race. Anyone else have a question or are confused about what we are doing here?”

INT. LAIR 2 – NIGHT

Victorino decides not to wait any longer for Imelyna and starts down the hallway on his way to meet the others for dinner, when he discovers that Brother has been brutally murdered after an epic fight with various weapons, tons of blood, and four rooms of destruction. Victorino calls for emergency lockdown. Imelyna appears and is horrified.

INT. LAIR 2 – NIGHT

Victorino is shown a video of Evans walking the halls of the lair. Victorino is baffled by how Evans found them or even got inside. Victorino has people sweep everyone and their belongings for trackers. In a paranoid misunderstanding, he kills HR Manager, thinking he is Evans’ mole. Victorino is struck with a thought and tells a minion to go to Imelyna’s chambers and tell her that Evans has been captured and put into the giant ant farm torture chamber.

INT. LAIR 2 – NIGHT

Imelyna doesn’t see anyone near the ant farm, and whispers for Evans. Victorino confronts Imelyna, and she admits her betrayal. She agrees with Evans that Victorino is dangerous. “I am dangerous? Did you see what Evans just did to your brother!?!”

6. SECOND TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT TWO

INT. LAIR 2 – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna is inside the ant farm frantically brushing biting red ants off. Minions fill the room waiting for Evans to try to rescue her. Bombs go off in various locations in the lair, and the compound is on fire. Evans kills all the minions, breaks the ant farm, rescues Imelyna, evades the continuing flow of oncoming minions, and they escape in Elon Musk’s confiscated flying car.

Victorino, in a catatonic state, walks through the devastation, and sees of the many dead killed by Evans’ bombs is the Publicist. Evans attached a pithy note to her. Victorino then discovers Evans killed Gadget Guy in an ironically, culturally appropriate, and particularly cruel way.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE BEDROOM – EVENING

Victorino dons Designer’s third custom outfit, which now wears nicely, signifying a complete transformation into a megalomaniac.

INT. MICHAELS ESTATE CONFERENCE ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Victorino snatches his taxidermy cat.

EXT. HELICOPTER OVER A GLACIER – THE NEXT DAY

Victorino flies over the beautiful ice sheet and glaciers. He lands next to a small plane.

7. CRISIS

EXT. LAIR 3 – DAY

Imelyna and Evans are waiting for Victorino by the open entrance. Imelyna starts to say Evans has a proposal, but Victorino starts furiously fighting Evans, and it is evenly matched.

INT. LAIR 3 – CONTINUOUS

The brawl moves inside as they employ gadgets, which provide temporary advantage. Among the various rooms they fight in is an ice bar/restaurant, and Evans calls time out so they can have a drink. Victorino makes him a martini, and they have a “no, your evil” heart-to-heart. Evans proposes that the worlds’ governments will indeed install the Royce magnifier solar energy system, but that Victorino must walk away. Imelyna notes that it will mean vindication for him and his technology, and the world will benefit tremendously because of him. Victorino explains that he knows they have no intention of implementing anything. Greedy entrenched interests only want to preserve the status quo, and they have Evans as their duped monkey boy, justifying being homicidal because I’m supposedly so dangerous, when it’s precisely his actions that have made me dangerous today. Victorino toasts Imelyna, and they drink to her. Victorino informs Imelyna that Evans not only killed Brother, but Publicist and Gadget Guy. But I’m the homicidal maniac, right. How many people have I killed? Only two. He then corrects Evans, “And it’s the Katz magnifier solar energy system!” Waldo surprises Evans with a gadget, gains the upper hand, and is about to kill Evans, when Imelyna intervenes. Waldo now fights them both, and for a long time. Waldo becomes injured but manages to evade Evans using one of the secret doorways. Evans: “Where’s Waldo?” Imelyna says she knows where he is going, but they’ll be too late. Evans says they already have it covered.

INT. ROCKET – DAY

As Waldo prepares for launch, he addresses the people of earth, with his voiceover continuing as he blasts off in the rocket hidden in the glacier, enters space, approaches his space station, and docks. He tells his story, who are the real bad guys, and what lessons he’s learned about being selfish and morality. He offers the world the free use of his technology and free energy in perpetuity. “Stay tuned for the live demonstration. I will change the course of history.”

INT. SPACE STATION – DAY

Waldo goes to the bridge, sits in the cockpit, deploys thousands of space magnifying solar panels, turns them on, connects them to the computer.

EXT. SPACE STATION – DAY

A series of giant magnifying glass layers deploy and swing out of the rocket, and from the space station deploys a huge antenna.

8. CLIMAX

INT. SPACE STATION – DAY

Waldo gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him take over the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. POTUS tells Waldo that he is delusional, his technology doesn’t even work, and he has no leverage anyway. And did he even bother to talk to the Russians and Chinese. Did he think they would ever surrender to him. Waldo says, “One question at a time. Let’s get the question of does the technology work out of the way. In just 15 seconds enough power will be channeled to run a small city for a year. Allow me to demonstrate.”

EXT. NYC SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The roof retracts and a huge Tesla coil rises to the top.

EXT. SPACE – CONTINUOUS

Thousands of solar panels concentrate sun energy through the series of magnifying glasses and laser beams a huge column of energy to the Tesla coil on the skyscraper, charging the battery.

INT. SPACE STATION – DAY

POTUS is thrilled and excited and congratulates Waldo for stopping global warming and saving the world. Waldo says that as long as the technology is implemented and people get the energy for free, he’ll not require full world domination. You may continue to run your countries. You just have to report to me. With energy plentiful and free, there will be world peace. You can rejoice. Also, next I’m going to work on curing cancer, so you have that to look forward to.

Waldo hears soft beeping, and, as it gets louder, Waldo’s fantasy daydream is interrupted by the sounds of feverish, high pitched beeping. Alerts ring loudly as Waldo sees on his radar dozens of nuclear missiles headed his way.

POTUS wonders where did his delusions just take him, and does he want a dose of reality. He intercuts camera footage of the beam hitting mirrors attached to the side of the Tesla coil, his beam ricocheting off the mirrors and burning large, long swaths of NYC.

Waldo is incredulous. POTUS tells Waldo that he is a failure, and the whole world will remember him as a crazy terrorist. And soon he’ll gonna be a godforsaken memory. Waldo is stunned but eventually comes to and focuses on nuclear missiles. He adjusts the distance of the giant magnifying lenses and uses a wide beam to neutralize the telemetry of the missiles. However, one missile does explode, damaging the space station and his ability to return to earth.

9. RESOLUTION

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

“This is why we can’t have nice things.” In a rage, Waldo adjusts the distance of the magnifying lenses and turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and, despite several acquiescing pleas and full surrender from POTUS, annihilates earth, splitting it in two.

“I’m not even the last man on earth. I’m god.” Waldo alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then prolonged silence as the credits roll.

The man on the moon laughs at him, so he blasts the moon to smithereens.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Outline Version 1

ASSIGNMENT 2 – Present your outline and exchange critiques.

1. List the following key components of your story:

MEGALOMANIAC

A. Concept: 3 versions (I could use feedback)

CONCEPT A

Think James Bond villain, entirely from the villain’s POV, and it’s his complete story, origin to tragedy, so in addition to his initial victimhood and vow to take over the world, we’re witnessing his growth to tycoon, evolution to villain, and metamorphosis into megalomaniac…plus the tragic earth-shattering consequences if the government spy fails to stop him.

CONCEPT B

A narcissistic scientist invents space solar energy technology that can end global warming, however, when a government spy sabotages his work, it triggers in him a megalomaniac pursuit of world domination that ends tragically in planetary annihilation.

CONCEPT C

Powerful entrenched interests want to stop scientist Victorino and his global warming ending solar space technology, causing narcissistic Victorino to develop into a megalomaniac bent on taking over the world, and if a government spy fails to stop him, it will have tragic earth-shattering consequences.

B. Plot Choice:

Ascension/Descension – the rise/fall of the protagonist.

Strong-willed, charismatic, and unique, Victorino rises in power as he descends into megalomania. And as he struggles between morality and self-interest, he progresses from weak altruistic scientist to smiteful almighty god.

C. Character Structure:

Dramatic Triangle between the Dr. Victorino Royce the villain, Imelyna Michaels the movie star/environmental activist girlfriend, and Derek Evans the government spy. Victorino owes his chance of success to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Evans, who is trying to stop Victorino, is attempting to turn Imelyna against him.

D. Lead Characters (*Name* is an *identity* who *does X in the story*.):

PROTAGONIST

Dr. Waldo Katz (changes his name to Victorino Royce in Act Two) is a narcissistic scientist who invents a space solar energy system that will end global warming, but he starts to suffer from megalomania after his work is sabotaged, and it triggers his pursuit of world domination.

IMPACT CHARACTER

Imelyna Michaels, an A-list movie star and environmental activist fighting against global warming, supports the development of Victorino’s technology and falls in love with him…until he turns to villainy.

ANTAGONIST

Greedy oil, gas, and coal entrenched interests that are causing global warming stifle energy innovation to preserve their businesses, and they use the governments of the world as their police arm. Antagonist by proxy, debonair government spy Derek Evans, with his smug one-liners and timely gadgets, is sent to stop Victorino, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset.

E. Dramatic Question:

Can Victorino get vindication and prove how great he and his technology are when there are powerful greedy entrenched interests trying to stop him?

F. Main Conflict:

Powerful interests keep throwing obstacles at Victorino to keep him and his technology down, however, to solve that, Victorino tries to gain enough money and power to take over the world.

G. Dilemma:

Victorino has to choose between morality, failure, and having Imelyna…or self-interest, a chance at success, and losing Imelyna.

H. Theme:

Greed destroys everything in its wake

I. Character Arc of Lead Character (if any):

BIGGEST FEAR

Victorino is afraid others won’t recognize his greatness.

CHARACTER ARC

Victorino goes from weak altruistic scientist to smiteful almighty god.

MEGALOMANIAC 80 SCENE OUTLINE

1. OPENING

1 EXT. EASTERN EUROPEAN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND – DAY

10-year-old WALDO KATZ uses his thick lensed glasses as a magnifying lens to pull a splinter from a cat’s paw. After being bullied, he uses the magnifying lens to burn ants.

2 INT. PILOT PLANT CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING

Businesspeople watch a computer simulation of 40-year-old DR. WALDO KATZ’s revolutionary technology that uses giant magnifying lenses in space to efficiently harness the sun and beam it to batteries on earth. They want to buy his company, but not his services…because of his history. Waldo is outraged.

3 INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – LATER

Waldo meets guests in attendance for his live demonstration, including enamored movie star and environmental activist IMELYNA MICHAELS, who is covering the event for her social media. She gushes that his work will stop global warming. Waldo sees a guest, DEREK EVANS, too close to the battery and ushers him away.

2. INCITING INCIDENT

4 INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo begins the demonstration and sends powerful light through the magnifying lens, which produces a fierce beam directed into a battery receptacle. However, the beam mistakenly ricochets, burning Victorino and several guests.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT

5 INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna, concerned about injured Waldo, joins him as he finds a small mirror inappropriately placed inside the battery receptacle. She wonders if it was sabotage by those threatened by his technology. “Greed is going to destroy our planet.” Waldo glimpses Evans sliding out the back door.

6 EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo confronts Evans, who is unforthcoming. Waldo grabs his arm to prevent him from leaving, and Evans presses his cufflink, which electrifies his jacket and frees him from Waldo’s grip. Evans wins the fight in 3 seconds.

7 INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

A bandaged Waldo checks on an injured guest. The UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT interrupts to inform him that they are pulling the plug on his project after the catastrophe. Imelyna approaches just as the police take Waldo away for questioning.

8 INT. POLICE STATION INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT

A DETECTIVE returns to inform Waldo that the company he accuses of being saboteurs doesn’t exist. And there is no British Derek Evans in the country either. Further investigation is required, so his laboratory is off-limits as a crime scene.

9 EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER

Imelyna is worried about Waldo and offers him a ride home in her limousine.

10 INT. LIMO – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna begs Waldo not to give up, and he vents his theory that it was economic espionage orchestrated by a foreign government. She doesn’t think he’s being paranoid and tells her DRIVER to go back to the hotel because it may not be safe for him at his home.

11 INT. HOTEL ROOM – THE NEXT DAY

While eating room service breakfast, Imelyna shows Waldo various social media labeling him as crazy and dangerous. He desperately wants vindication, but Imelyna wonders whether it will be possible facing such powerful interests. Waldo suggests the only way to put them out of business once and for all, and all at once, is to, jokingly, “Take over the world?”

12 INT. HOTEL BEDROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo and Imelyna have sex.

13 INT. LIMO – DAY

Imelyna invites Waldo to relocate and start anew, and she offers to sponsor him. Waldo isn’t ready to leave his home or country. If he reconsiders, she’ll be leaving later that day.

4. FIRST TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT ONE

14 INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – DAY

Waldo is stunned to find his laboratory empty, and all his work gone. UNIVERSITY SECURITY THUGS chase him off the premises. Waldo flees, and calls Imelyna, “What time’s your flight?”

15 EXT./INT. GREENLAND/PRIVATE PLANE – DAY

Imelyna shows Waldo the devastating physical effects of global warming on glaciers, antarctic ice sheet, oceans, and weather pattern, and their subsequent real world displacement of people and financial impact.

16 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – LATER

Imelyna takes Waldo on a tour of her family’s estate, which was left to her after her parents died. He can convert her father’s workspace into a laboratory. She will finance the commercialization of a piece of his technology until they can finance a full enterprise.

17 INT. WORKSPACE – DAY

Waldo invents a solar panel with a top layer magnifying glass, which increases energy by 1000%. But for commercial manufacturing they’ll need pure silica sand. Imelyna makes a call to her travel agent.

18 EXT. MALDIVES BEACH – DAY

Waldo and Imelyna lounge under an umbrella on an empty thin strip of white sand beach. Waldo questions whether they should really plunder the beach, but Imelyna explains that it would be gone within the year anyway since the ocean is rising. They frolic in the water and then have sex on the beach.

19 INT. PRIVATE PLANE – DAY

Imelyna reads a paragraph from the business plan she is writing on her laptop discussing setting up operations in an abandoned industrial factory outside of Palm Springs, where they’ll revive the town and create jobs. Waldo is watching one of Imelyna’s movies, pauses in the middle of a love scene, and asks her what the premise is for the movie she’s about to shoot. She’s voicing a character for an animated movie. He unpauses the movie.

20 EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – DAY

Driver chauffeurs Imelyna and Waldo in a Rolls-Royce Phantom Extended. Pulls into Imelyna’s impressive Malibu beach house.

21 INT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

As Imelyna changes clothes, Waldo notices a framed news article about her as a girl. She had changed her last name when she moved to Hollywood to be an actress. Waldo would like to change his name too to help keep them incognito. Perhaps Victorino Royce.

22 EXT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Victorino works out with Imelyna’s celebrity fitness TRAINER, who was a stunt double for Chris Hemsworth. Victorino wants to learn how to fight, however Trainer, who is nice and spiritual, espouses physical violence as the last resort.

23 INT. FACTORY – DAY

HR MANAGER sits with Imelyna and Victorino as they interview locals applying for various jobs. They hand out yellow hard hats, safety goggles, and orange safety vests. Everyone gets to work unloading industrial equipment and supplies from trucks.

24 INT. FACTORY – DAY

Victorino directs the manufacturing of new magnifying solar panels. Imelyna complains that she is unable to sell their solar panels because nobody has heard of Victorino Royce, they have no track record, no bank affiliation, no social media presence, not even a kickstarter. Victorino suggests they use Imelyna’s star power. Imelyna makes a phone call.

25 INT. HOLLYWOOD STUDIO STAGE – DAY

In a TV commercial shoot, Victorino, Imelyna, and Trainer dress as Zeus, Hera, and Hercules, installing a solar magnifying panel, with the graphic showing the energy bill cut by 85%, and the cost of the panels are the same as regular.

26 INT. ACTOR TRAILER – DAY

Zeus and Hera sexual role play. She remarks that working with Trainer has paid dividends for him.

27 INT. FACTORY – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna are selling magnifying solar panels by the truckload. She shows him figures on her iPad of huge orders and exponential revenue.

28 INT. 2ND FACTORY – DAY

Production line is humming, as they secured another sand source. The sites for the 3rd and 4th factory have been chosen. The backorders are still growing. They are a Fortune 500 company.

29 INT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

PUBLICIST toasts to “Vimelyna” with Victorino and Imelyna, as they page through various magazines, including People Magazine, Forbes, Time, and Fitness Magazine with Trainer.

30 INT. AWARD CEREMONY – EVENING

From the podium Imelyna introduces Victorino and awards him a prestigious technology innovation award. He thanks his partner Imelyna for her love and support. He announces a newly designed magnifier to retrofit everyone’s old solar panels. Which we’re giving away if you buy the newly invented solar battery receiver which increases energy efficiency and storage by 1200%.

31 INT. AWARD GALA – EVENING

Victorino and Imelyna dance and schmooze as a power couple. They are happy and kissing, but Imelyna jokingly musses up Victorino’s hair on the dance floor, which causes him obsessive concern over his hair.

She fixes his hair, but he excuses himself to the bathroom. As Victorino walks away, we see behind him that Evans approaches Imelyna with a flirtatious smug smile.

32 INT. BEACH HOUSE – LATER

Watching the news Victorino is happy with how well he was received. Victorino isn’t even bothered when he gets a call that their computer system was hacked and IP was stolen because the latest iterations weren’t kept on the server. However, he is jealous of how perfectly put together Imelyna is, and he wants a makeover to look like a certified tycoon. “What does a tycoon wear?” She’s been dying to make him over.

33 INT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Imelyna has several designers bring their latest collections for Victorino to try on, and they choose a few outfits. One DESIGNER has a vision of how Victorino should look and will do a custom job for him. Victorino asks Imelyna what she wants.

34 EXT. ROSE BOWL FLEA MARKET – MORNING

Flaunting his new digs, Victorino and Imelyna step out of the Rolls Royce for a shopping spree. Imelyna thanks him for forgoing Rodeo Drive, but “reuse” is one of the four R’s of recycling. Victorino and Imelyna buy vintage jewelry, gaudy art, absurd sculptures, and bizarre artifacts. Victorino is transfixed by a taxidermy cat that looks like his as a kid.

35 EXT. ROSE BOWL FLEA MARKET – LATER

Imelyna is ordering two bacon dogs from a vendor, while Victorino is pacing on the phone with his ATTORNEY who informs him of 23 patent infringement lawsuits designed to either settle for a quick payout or to deliberately slow their progress. Behind them, Evans surreptitiously helps another worker load their purchased items onto their moving truck.

36 INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Victorino walks around with his taxidermy cat, looking for a place to put it. Imelyna reads an email out loud that reports that for the 3rd time another shipment of sand is peculiarly stalled in port, though it will only delay manufacturing in seven of the factories. Victorino is angry and frustrated, unable to find a proper place for his cat.

37 EXT. BEACH HOUSE – MORNING

Victorino and Trainer spar using several different martial arts disciplines. Victorino suffers from distraction and frustration, and Trainer gets Victorino to meditate using “envision the vision” mumbo jumbo. The process triggers something within him, removing his filter.

38 INT. LA RESTAURANT – EVENING

Victorino and Imelyna are eating, and the Attorney calls to report the government just passed a retroactive red tape regulatory law attempting to slow their sales. While Victorino pours himself a glass of wine, Imelyna suggests they finally hire some lobbyists. He excuses himself to make a call. Over his shoulder we see Evans sit in his seat and drink his glass of wine. Imelyna’s demeanor isn’t welcoming, but it also isn’t surprised.

39 INT. LA RESTAURANT – MOMENTS LATER

Victorino returns and sits at the table as Imelyna pours him wine into a new glass. A fly.

40 EXT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Victorino still needs more learning from Trainer as they spar in several disciplines. Imelyna joins and repeatedly takes down Victorino.

41 INT. MUSEUM – NIGHT

At their charitable fundraiser, Victorino privately expresses his frustration that they haven’t yet gotten vindication for his space magnifier, but Imelyna reminds him that while they have the money, they don’t yet have the power. Speaking to the audience, Imelyna announcing the evening’s sizable fundraising total. However, Victorino steals the spotlight and announces he is running for political office.

42 INT. BEACH HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY

Imelyna is the subject of a sensational cheating scandal involving the married director from her last movie, with nude photos hacked from his phone. Publicist conjectures that the scandal probably ends Victorino’s political aspirations. Imelyna’s AGENT says she will be replaced on her most recent voiceover movie, as well as her next upcoming project. Victorino wants to retaliate but nobody knows against who.

Imelyna admits it’s true, and she’d rather keep a low profile.

43 INT. ATTORNEY OFFICE – DAY

Attorney reports that the government has documents showing they patented the exact same magnifier technology ten years ago, so Victorino is going to eventually lose the patent infringement lawsuit and have to turn over all profits and potential fines. Victorino is enraged at the lie and rigged system. Victorino needs a referral for the services of a less than reputable private investigation firm.

44 EXT. ATTORNEY OFFICE – LATER

As Victorino leaves the building, he is harassed by paparazzi. One by one he forcibly takes their cameras and smashes them. The last guy preemptively smashes his own camera.

45 INT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

While packing suitcases, Victorino and Imelyna are arguing about losing the lawsuit, having to forfeit all their money, and having accomplished nothing. Imelyna thinks they’ve helped the world by enabling a lot of people to install solar. She thinks they just need to get away for a bit. Victorino thinks they need to blow the whole thing up!

46 EXT. BEACH HOUSE – DAY

Driver is putting the bags into the car as Victorino walks out and sees a spy disappear down the side of the house. Using his martial arts training, Victorino kills him. Then he realizes the guy was an electric company meter reader. Victorino calmly joins Imelyna as she gets into the car.

47 INT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY – MOMENTS LATER

The car is eerily silent but for a newscast on the radio reporting that Victorino Royce is caught on tape assaulting paparazzi and smashing their cameras. He is wanted for questioning. In other news Congress has passed a law increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies, as well as opening up new lands for drilling.

5. MID-POINT

48 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – NIGHT

Victorino hides all the company’s holdings, converting everything into cryptocurrency, shell corporations, Swiss bank accounts, diamonds, gold, and cash.

49 EXT. MICHAELS ESTATE – THE NEXT DAY

Victorino and Imelyna are walking the grounds, discussing options. Victorino wants to build out the full-size magnifying solar energy system themselves…secretly. Imelyna realizes there is strength in numbers.

50 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING

Victorino and Imelyna host a summit of concerned A-list actors, dedicated environmentalists, controversial international environmental groups like Greenpeace, and Publicist, Trainer, and HR Manager. The taxidermy cat is the table’s centerpiece. They explain their vision for the organization with a goal of solving all other issues in the world once they solve energy and greed. Several members share victimization stories of sabotage, interference, corruption, and frustration. They all vow to pool resources, connections, and fight.

51 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – LATER

Everyone enjoys lunch, and there is a good vibe. Imelyna whispers to Victorino that one their factories has burned to the ground. Victorino immediately and with self-righteous indignation reports the news to the group, changing the atmosphere.

52 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE CONFERENCE ROOM – AFTERNOON

We get to watch some fascinating brainstorming sessions where they banter around ideas for the group name, where to build secret lairs, how to finance operations, the ethics of ecoterrorism, brainstorming exercises to get past blockages, sarcastic wit, great ideas, egos, grandstanding, discord, and agreement. On the whiteboard is written “Masterplan – all ideas are bad ideas until Victorino approves them (jk)”. Matt Damon stands with chalk in his hand. “Lairs – 3?”, “Rockets – call Elon”, “Minions – life servitude/squid game”, “Project name (nothing greek!) – Sunshine & Rainbows:)”. Victorino has money to build, but they need to finance the operation. They need to recruit lackeys, bodyguards, thugs, and minions for each lair. “

What if we hire all current or former coal minor for double their going salaries?” Victorino adds, “And it is imperative we bring in a gadget guy, like Q from the James Bond movies.” Matt Damon may even be forcibly removed for trying to usurp control from Victorino.

53 INT. BEDROOM – EVENING

Victorino gets off the phone and sees Imelyna suspiciously texting someone on her phone. He tells her to pack. “Actually, never mind. We’ll get new wardrobes in each place.” Imelyna expresses concern with the direction they are heading and the type of people he wants to work with and hire. Imelyna reveals she knows that he had something to do with the child pornography charges against those who hacked and published her nude photos. While she appreciates Victorino’s intentions, she’s worried that the ends don’t justify the means.

54 EXT. MICHAELS ESTATE – THE NEXT DAY

Trainer leads Victorino, Imelyna, Publicist, and HR Manager through meditative exercises. Victorino goads Imelyna into sparring, and he roughly bests her.

55 EXT. THREE EXOTIC LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD – DAY

MONTAGE:

Different realtors in 3 different countries takes them on tours of remote, ridiculous locations to build secret lairs.

They meet with various experts showing cutting edge computer networks and building security. Victorino wants secret passageways, surveillance, two-way mirrors, and hidden weapons. Realtor, who has been shocked and silent by the conversation, timidly suggests during a pause, “And trap doors?”

They have various exotic animal handlers show them pet options i.e. sloth, snake, spider, fireflies, ants. Victorino says the ants are interesting, but he definitely wants a pussycat placed into his arms immediately when he arrives at each lair.

Victorino purposefully schedules a meeting with SPY TRAP GUY when he knows Imelyna will be away.

He meets with GADGET GUY who demonstrates vicious, over-the- top weapons for Victorino, who wants each lair to have culturally appropriate weaponry and gadgets, with obligatory briefcases with the styrofoam cut outs.

Victorino buys local politicians, police, and judges.

56 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE BEDROOM – EVENING

Imelyna breaks an awkward silence and mentions that Designer sent three custom outfits for Victorino, which they’ll get tomorrow, and she got him a new pair of glasses, which he tries on. Victorino asks if she would like to get married and have kids because he thinks they should since they make such a great team and he loves her. She would love to, but she’s surprised at the timing with so many projects going on, and he’s been so focused. Victorino wants it all. “Who are we saving the planet for anyway if not for our own kids.”

57 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE – THE NEXT DAY

Victorino tries on Designer’s three custom outfits, two of which are perfect. Victorino doesn’t quite feel comfortable in the third, and Imelyna hates it because it makes him look like a crazy person. “Maybe it’ll grow on you. Maybe I just need to grow into it.”

58 EXT. LAIR 1 – DAY

They stare at a collapsed coal mine, not knowing how to get in. Victorino says to Imelyna, “Reuse, right?” Victorino holds up his phone and plays a canary whistle. A camouflaged door opens. Imelyna jokes, “A little on the nose.”

59 INT. LAIR 1 – DAY

Victorino is handed a cat, and they walk downwards along a long hallway into a huge hall in full operation with consoles, computers, scientists, and construction workers. Victorino receives several reports, and then they watch a similar demonstration to the original, except this time the solar energy is properly absorbed into the battery.

60 INT. LAIR 1 – NIGHT

They are eating dinner, and Imelyna confirmed that all the factories received the new specs. We still need to decide where we want our building to be. A city in the U.S.

is ideal, but it would be difficult for us to oversee its construction. Victorino reveals he’s already taken care of the building and not to worry.

61 EXT. SPACEX LOMPOC CALIFORNIA ROCKET LAUNCHING PAD – DAY

Victorino and Elon Musk are watching thousand of solar panel satellites being unloaded from a series of trucks and loaded onto a rocket. Elon: “I had five inventions, but the government only allowed me to pick two. Ever see The Jetsons? Flying cars? So much fun to flive, but they said I was reckless and actually confiscated my prototype!” Victorino: “I have a driver. Hey, how much is a rocket?”

62 EXT. LAIR 2 – DAY

They stare at an oil tank farm, not knowing how to get in. “Do we climb the ladder to an opening on top? Canary whistle? What?”. Victorino says, “Trap door.” The ground beneath them gives way and they slide inside.

63 INT. LAIR 2 – DAY

Victorino is handed a cat, and they walk a long hall into a huge room in full operation with consoles, computers, scientists, and construction workers. They watch a feed of an ecoterrorism underwater strike force ram a hole into an oil tanker, causing a catastrophic leak.

An operator at a console interrupts Victorino and asks if he can ask a question. Victorino nods. “How is spilling oil into the ocean and causing an environmental disaster aligned with our goal of saving the environment?” Victorino kills him, and says he appreciates the question and explains to the rest of the silent room that the ends justify the means. Industrial espionage is the name of the game. Corporation against corporation. Country against country. Legacy versus new technology. That wasn’t for free. It pays our bills, finances our larger mission. And we are not saving the environment. We are saving the human race. Anyone else have a question or are confused about what we are doing here?”

64 INT. LAIR 2 – NIGHT

Victorino decides not to wait any longer for Imelyna and starts down the hallway on his way to meet the others for dinner, when he discovers that Trainer has been brutally murdered after an epic struggle with various weapons, tons of blood, and four rooms of destruction. Victorino calls for emergency lockdown. Imelyna appears and is horrified.

65 INT. LAIR 2 – NIGHT

Victorino is shown a video of Evans walking the halls of the lair. Victorino is baffled by how Evans found them or even got inside. Victorino has people sweep everyone and their belongings for trackers.

In a paranoid misunderstanding, he kills HR Manager, thinking he is Evans’ mole.

Victorino tells a minion to find Imelyna and tell her that Evans has been captured and put into the giant glass ant farm torture chamber.

66 INT. LAIR 2 – DAY

Imelyna doesn’t see anyone near the ant farm, and calls out with concern for Evans. Victorino confronts Imelyna, and she admits her betrayal. She agrees with Evans that Victorino is dangerous.

6. SECOND TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT TWO

67 INT. LAIR 2 – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna is inside the ant farm frantically brushing biting red ants off. Minions fill the room waiting for Evans to try to rescue her. Bombs go off in various locations throughout the lair, and the compound is on fire. Evans kills all the minions, breaks the ant farm, rescues Imelyna, evades the continuing flow of oncoming minions, and they escape in Elon Musk’s confiscated flying car.

Victorino, in an almost catatonic state, walks through the devastation, and sees of the many dead killed by Evans’ bombs is the Publicist. Evans attached a pithy note to her. Victorino then discovers Evans killed Gadget Guy in an ironically, culturally appropriate, and particularly cruel way.

68 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE BEDROOM – EVENING

Victorino dons Designer’s third custom outfit, which now wears nicely, signifying a complete transformation into a megalomaniac.

69 INT. MICHAELS ESTATE CONFERENCE ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Victorino takes his taxidermy cat.

70 EXT. HELICOPTER OVER A GLACIER – THE NEXT DAY

Victorino flies over the beautiful ice sheet and glaciers. He lands next to a small plane.

71 EXT. LAIR 3 – DAY

Imelyna and Evans are waiting for Victorino by the open entrance. Imelyna starts to say Evans has a proposal, but Victorino starts furiously fighting Evans, and it is evenly matched.

7. CRISIS

72 INT. LAIR 3 – CONTINUOUS

The brawl moves inside as they employ gadgets, which provide temporary advantage. Among the various rooms they fight in is an ice bar/restaurant, and Evans calls for a time out so they can have a drink. Victorino makes him a martini, and they have a “no, your evil” heart-to-heart. Evans says they will indeed install the Royce magnifier solar energy system, but that Victorino must walk away. Imelyna notes that it will mean vindication for him and his technology, and the world will benefit tremendously. Victorino toasts Imelyna, and they drink to her. Victorino informs Imelyna that Evans not only killed Trainer, but Publicist and Gadget Guy. But I’m the psycho killer. He then corrects Evans, “It’s the Katz magnifier solar energy system!” Victorino surprises Evans with a gadget, gains the upper hand, and is about to kill Evans, when Imelyna intervenes. Victorino now fights them both, and for a long time. Victorino gets injured but manages to evade Evans using one of the secret doorways. “Where’s Waldo?” Imelyna says she knows where he is going, and they’ll be too late. Evans says they already have it covered.

73 INT. ROCKET – DAY

As Victorino prepares for launch, he addresses the people of earth, and his voiceover continues as he blasts off in the rocket hidden in the glacier, enters space, approaches his space station, and docks. He tells his story, who are the real bad guys, and what lessons he’s learned about being selfish and morality. He offers the world the free use of his technology and free energy in perpetuity. “Stay tuned for the live demonstration. I will change history.”

74 INT. SPACE STATION – DAY

Victorino goes to the bridge, sits in the cockpit, deploys thousands of space magnifying solar panels, turns them on, connects them to the computer.

75 EXT. SPACE STATION – DAY

A series of giant magnifying glass layers deploy and swing out of the space station.

8. CLIMAX

76 INT. SPACE STATION – DAY

Victorino gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him install his energy system or he will take over the world and do it anyway. POTUS tells Victorino that he is delusional, his technology doesn’t even work, and he has no leverage. Victorino says, “Let there be light.”

77 EXT. NYC SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The roof retracts and a huge Tesla coil rises to the top. However, unknown to Victorino, a large mirror has been attached to the side of the Tesla coil.

78 EXT. SPACE – CONTINUOUS

Thousands of solar panels concentrate sun energy through the series of magnifying glasses and laser beam a huge column of energy to the Tesla coil on the skyscraper, and as the beam hits, energy ricochets off it and burns through a long swath of NYC.

79 INT. SPACE STATION – DAY

Victorino is incredulous. POTUS tells Victorino that he is a failure, and the whole world will remember him as a crazy terrorist. Victorino is stunned and eventually hears beeping alerts…the world’s governments have fired nuclear missiles at him. Victorino uses a wide beam from his giant magnifying lenses to neutralize the telemetry of the missiles, however one missile explodes, damaging his ability to return to earth.

9. RESOLUTION

80 INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

“This is why we can’t have nice things.” In a rage, Victorino turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and, despite acquiescing pleas from POTUS, annihilates earth, splitting it in two.

“I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then prolonged silence as the credits roll.

The man on the moon laughs at him, so he blasts the moon to smithereens.

The End.

I am open to all kinds of feedback, including brainstorming for the following:

1. FLAG every scene that has a problem (doesn’t make sense, has a plot hole, payoff without a setup)

There’s the issue of reconciling megalomaniac as a delusion versus megalomaniac as actually having the power to take over the world.

Where is Waldo Royce from? What location is the 1st scene. Eastern European? Russian, German, Scandinavian? Comes from a poor or wealthy background.

Is the cat his or neighborhood cat?

Why does Waldo get bullied in the 1st scene? What is it about him? Too self-involved? Weird/crazy/cocky?

Do I really want to hammer home global warming stuff? or be more subtle?

Do I really want to introduce Imelyna’s family estate and her parents?

Am thinking of making Imelyna’s brother, a loser druggy, a character who find purpose in the 2nd half of the movie as Victorino’s henchman. He wouldn’t be a tough guy, but more crafty and ethicless, and thus just as scary.

Need a roll your eyes cause for their fundraiser.

I worry about focusing too much and being too preachy on the global warming stuff, but I’m trying to show that evil people are created by an evil system full of evil people, and I need the audience to agree with the megalomaniac’s goal, but even global warming is made controversial in the real world by evil greedy people.

Does writing in Matt Damon bring reality into the movie or make the movie ridiculous?

Need to figure out the logistical timeline for building the company, and especially for building the lairs and space magnifier.

Biggest hole is creating a leverage for Victorino to use big enough to force the taking over the world. I have to leave the space magnifier turned into a weapon of mass destruction as a surprise ending, so I need something completely different. Terrorism against the fossil fuel infrastructure is the only thing I have so far. And I prefer to keep it connected to energy, and not veer into another area like hacking cryptocurrency, but that might have to be it

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Pass #7: Setup/Payoff Chains

What I learned doing this is…? From one-offs to chains to full throughlines, I found this exercise very helpful for organization, development, elevating, filling holes, creating bookends, adding jokes. Content feels more consistent, developed, logical, coherent, complete. Setup/payoffs definitely give the entire story a unified feeling. I would actually want to take almost every facet and go through this process.

ASSIGNMENT – PASS #7: Making Non-linear Decisions.

1. List ALL of the setup/payoff chains (SP Chains) from your story — One or two sentences per setup/payoff.

Setup/Payoff Chain: Cat (meaning and closure)

Setup: saves a cat – splinter

Payoff: buys taxidermy cat that looks similar

Payoff: wants a cat handed to him in every lair

Payoff: taxidermy cat is present at meeting

Payoff: taxidermy cat is destroyed in bombing

Payoff: he saves a cat with lair in ruins

Payoff: takes the cat up with him to space

Payoff: after blowing up the moon, he pets the cats

Setup/Payoff Chain: Gadget (surprise, excitement, twist)

Setup: Evans uses gadget on Waldo

Payoff: Victorino wants a Q

Payoff: Culturally appropriate vicious weapons in each lair

Payoff: Gadget guy to show Victorino something but it is gone

Payoff: Victorino fights Evans, both use gadgets

Payoff: Evans kills Gadget Guy

Payoff: Evans surprises and beats Victorino with stolen gadget

Setup/Payoff Chain: Ants (meaning and closure)

Setup: burns ants

Payoff: ant farm

Payoff: giant ant farm as torture device

Payoff: Imelyna put in ant farm

Payoff: Evans breaks ant farm

Payoff: Burns people like ants

Setup/Payoff Chain: Magnifying lens (surprise, excitement, twist, closure)

Setup: glasses used as magnifying lens to take splinter out of paw

Payoff: magnifying lens in space used to harness sun

Payoff: magnifying lens used to improve solar panels

Payoff: old glasses on desk

Payoff: Imelyna gives Victorino new pair of glasses/contacts

Payoff: Evans knocks the glasses off Victorino’s face

Payoff: magnifying lens in space used to harness sun

Payoff: magnifying lens used to stop nuclear missiles

Payoff: magnifying lens used to destroy earth

Setup/Payoff Chain: Global Warming (surprise, excitement, meaning, twist, closure)

Setup: invents a way to end global warming

Payoff: invents magnifier solar panels

Payoff: sells magnifier solar panels

Payoff: invents magnifier retrofit

Payoff: invents battery receptacle solar panels

Payoff: Announces hiring of coal miners

Payoff: Announces he’s solved global warming

Payoff: Announces he’s got a plan to solve poverty and inequality

Payoff: Engages in revenge ecoterrorism, pipeline, tanker, coal tunnel, gas fire

Payoff: Announces free energy to the world

Payoff: Could literally end global warming

Payoff: Blows up the world

Setup/Payoff Chain: Where’s Waldo? (meaning, twist, closure)

Setup: Waldo Royce is insular/small-town/parochial/provincial

Payoff: Travels with Imelyna to Greenland

Payoff: Travels with Imelyna to Maldives

Payoff: When relocates to Hollywood he changes name to Victorino Royce

Payoff: Commercial as Zeus on Mount Olympus

Payoff: Famous Tycoon and philanthropist Victorino Royce

Payoff: Vimelyna scandal ends run for political office

Payoff: Villain Victorino Royce

Payoff: Globe trotting scouting lairs

Payoff: Visiting each lair

Payoff: Evans follows Victorino to each lair

Payoff: Victorino disappears down a secret passageway, Evans jokes “Where’s Waldo?”

Payoff: Megalomaniac Victorino Royce

Payoff: Playing God in space

Setup/Payoff Chain: Scientist (meaning)

Setup: Brilliant scientist invented a way to end global warming

Payoff: Developer scientist – magnifier innovation to solar panels

Payoff: Technician scientist – manufacturing

Payoff: Business scientist – sales/marketing/expanding

Payoff: Entrepreneur scientist – building a business

Payoff: Policy scientist – running for political office with bold initiatives

Payoff: Investigator scientist – work with PIs to retaliate for Imelyna

Payoff: Explorer scientist – scouting and building lairs

Payoff: Communicator scientist – public speaking, running meetings

Payoff: Teacher scientist – explaining mission and need for a masterplan

Payoff: Regulator scientist – creating criminal enterprise, masterplan, running lairs, implementing plans

Payoff: Mad scientist – playing god and misusing technology

Setup/Payoff Chain: Main Character Arc (meaning, excitement, twist, closure)

Setup: narcissistic scientist origin story

Payoff: becoming an altruistic tycoon

Payoff: becoming a vengeful villain

Payoff: becoming a destructive megalomaniac

Setup/Payoff Chain: Psychology (meaning, closure)

Setup: Delusion of intellect

Payoff: Delusion of money

Payoff: Delusion of power

Payoff: Delusion of being a god – omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent

Setup/Payoff Chain: Main Character Strength/Power

Setup: Weak

Payoff: Takes punishment

Payoff: Gives as good as he receives

Payoff: Almighty

Setup/Payoff Chain: Sabotage

Setup: Antagonist sabotages

Payoff: Antagonist sabotages

Payoff: Protagonist sabotages, Antagonist sabotages

Payoff: Antagonist sabotages, Protagonist destroys

Setup/Payoff Chain: The Planet

Setup: Could save the planet / Won’t let you save the planet

Payoff: Going to save the planet / Won’t let you save the planet

Payoff: Going to save the planet by hurting the planet / Won’t let you save the planet

Payoff: Going to save the planet / Won’t let you save the planet / I’m destroying the planet

Setup/Payoff Chain: Technology

Setup: Small-scale magnifier and battery receptacle

Payoff: Magnifier solar panels, retrofit, battery

Payoff: Lairs, cars, and gadgets

Payoff: Small-scale magnifier and battery receptacle, turned into weapon of mass destruction

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Pass #6: Subplots with Meaning

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…? I found that there were a lot of naturally emerging subplots with minor characters. Victorino has to take actions, and he needs others to get stuff done. I fleshed out the B/M/End for each, then I realized that I could give them great emotional meanings by how they died. Likable characters, that do good work, are then killed unceremoniously by the spy = creates sad emotion for the audience. I also will use each subplot to illustrate a facet of a megalomaniac.

Increase the emotion or add deeper thematic meaning.

TRAINER SUBPLOT – how can I physically show Victorino’s transformation into a megalomaniac?

Beginning Setup: Victorino gets beat up rather quickly and easily by Evans, and, for the narcissistic overachiever, it stung his ego to the core.

Victorino hires Imelyna’s trainer from one of her movies, Imelyna shows him up, he gains conditioning and skills, but this trainer is also such a really nice good guy

Middle: Victorino trains hard, he surpasses Imelyna, he even starts to believe some of the mumbo jumbo that the trainer espouses

Victorino beats the trainer, and thinks he’s ready.

Evans infiltrates Victorino’s lair and stumbles into the trainer, the trainer is not an aggressive thug, yet Evans starts fighting him, they have an epic fight, Evans kills him, and the audience feels bad

Victorino finds the trainer, assumes it’s Evans, he is steaming mad, Imelyna returns and is devastated

End Payoff: Victorino has a fight with Evans, evenly matched, evenly matched with gadgets, but Evans calls for a time out so they can have a drink of water, Victorino offers to make him a martini, while making the martini they have their heart-to-heart, Evans tests the drink with litmus paper, they toast to Imelyna, then they fight more, for a long time, but Evans cheats and gains the upper hand, Imelyna intervenes before he kills Victorino

CLOTHING DESIGNER SUBPLOT – how can I visually show Victorino’s transformation into a megalomaniac?

Beginning Setup: Narcissistic Victorino sees himself on the news, and is jealous of how perfectly put together Imelyna is, and he wants a makeover to look like a certified tycoon, he wants whoever designed Imelyna’s outfit from a movie she was in

Imelyna has various designers she knows bring their latest collections for Victorino to try on, he picks a few outfits, one designer has a vision of how Victorino should look and will do a custom job for him

Middle: The designer brings Victorino three custom outfits which are more villainy, he likes 2 but 1 is a little too much and he doesn’t quite feel comfortable in it, the designer leaves it with him anyway, “it’ll grow on you”

End Payoff: Beginning of Act 3 Victorino dons the custom outfit signifying his complete metamorphosis into a megalomaniac

HR MANAGER – how can I mentally show Victorino’s transformation into a villain?

Beginning Setup: Victorino and Imelyna are starting a company, they need all sorts of workers, where do all they all come from, so their first hire is the HR Manager, who is people smart and trustworthy

Middle: HR Manager hires for every position, when time for villainy she comes up with life servitude for family payment, coal miners for minions, international hires

End Payoff: Evans keeps finding Victorino’s lairs, and paranoid Victorino suspects the very innocent and highly trusted HR Manager…and kills him, Evans later admits he has listening device on the glasses

PR/MARKETING MANAGER – how can I show Victorino’s humorous side?

Beginning Setup: Imelyna understands the importance of good PR, and so the HR Manager brings in the PR/Marketing Manager, who is famous for doing [meta]

Middle: We get to watch some self-referential hilarious brainstorming sessions where they banter around ideas for TV commercials, company name, names for products, scandal, PIs, media interviews, spin, evil project name, lair names, she’s got a whiteboard, brainstorming exercises, sarcastic wit, great ideas

End Payoff: one of the many dead at the hands of Evans destructive bombs, Evans will leave some pithy note attached to him

GADGET GUY – how can I show Victorino’s vicious villain side?

Beginning Setup: Victorino tells the HR Manager that he needs a special weapons guy (since Evans used a gadget in their first encounter), Gadget Guy is like Q from James Bond (fresh version tho)

Middle: Each lair will have special features that he’ll walk Victorino through on a tour, secret passage ways, hidden weapons, gadgets, etc.

End Payoff: one of the many dead at the hands of Evans destructive bombs, Evans will have killed him in an ironic way setup with Victorino asking for a particularly cruel way to die

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Pass #5: Action / Reaction

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…? Taking the plot essence sentences and boiling down events and emotional moments into succinct phrases, and then charting them into escalating sequencing really enables you to see the logical development and flow much cleaner and clearer. Now I can add, elevate, move, flip, and keep a grasp of where I am, what’s the purpose, and does it make sense. Very helpful.

1. Tell us the following:

Concept: A narcissistic scientist invents solar energy technology that can end global warming, however, when a government spy sabotages his work, it triggers in him a megalomaniac pursuit of world domination that ends tragically in planetary annihilation.

Protagonist Goal: Can Victorino get vindication and prove how great he and his technology are when there are greedy entrenched interests trying to stop him?

Protagonist Character Arc: Victorino goes from weak altruistic scientist to smiteful almighty god.

Main Conflict: Powerful interests keep throwing obstacles at Victorino to keep him and his technology down, however, to solve that, Victorino tries to gain enough power to take over the world.

2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story and list it.

Action/Reaction Events + Emotional Moments Chart

Protagonist Victorino vs. Antagonist (governments, spy Evans, POTUS)

—————————————————————————————–

ACT 1

Sequence 1

Protagonist Victorino Invents technology

Antagonist Offers to buy technology

Protagonist Victorino Rejects offer

Antagonist Sabotages demonstration

Protagonist Victorino Chases spy Evans

Antagonist Evans beats up Victorino

Sequence 2

Antagonist University President pulls plug on project

Antagonist Police take Victorino away for questioning

Antagonist Laboratory off limits because a crime scene

Antagonist Ruins Victorino’s online media reputation

Antagonist Steals Victorino’s work

Antagonist Thugs with guns chase him from his laboratory

Protagonist Victorino flees for his life

ACT 2a

Sequence 3

Protagonist Victorino Relocates

Protagonist Victorino Adds Imelyna as partner

Protagonist Victorino Builds a laboratory

Protagonist Victorino Invents magnifying glass solar panel

Protagonist Victorino Starts a company

Protagonist Victorino Hires employees

Protagonist Victorino Manufactures magnifying solar panels

Protagonist Victorino Hires PR

Protagonist Victorino Makes a TV commercial

Protagonist Victorino Sells panels by the truckload

Protagonist Victorino Featured in media

Protagonist Victorino Wins technology innovation award

Sequence 4

Antagonist 53 patent infringement lawsuits

Protagonist Victorino Judge: can still sell, pay profits if lose

Antagonist Shipment of goods stalled in port

Protagonist Victorino Commercializes battery receptacle

Protagonist Victorino Makes a TV commercial

Protagonist Victorino Sells by the truckload

Protagonist Victorino Gains media influence

Antagonist Government passes red tape laws

Protagonist Victorino Holds a charitable function

Antagonist Evans flirts with Imelyna

Protagonist Victorino Innovates magnifying layer

Antagonist Hacks computer system and steals IP

Antagonist US passes new law increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies

Protagonist Victorino Runs for political office

Antagonist Imelyna subject of a dated/fake scandal

Antagonist Imelyna blackballed in Hollywood

Antagonist Media ends Victorino’s political aspirations

Protagonist Victorino Beats up paparazzi

Antagonist Police arrest Victorino

Protagonist Victorino Kills non-spy government regulator

Antagonist Wins patent infringement lawsuits

ACT 2b

Sequence 5

Protagonist Victorino Hides money

Protagonist Victorino Hides in secret lair

Protagonist Victorino Develops a masterplan

Antagonist Evans charms Imelyna

Protagonist Victorino Meets A-list actor environmentalists

Antagonist Evans gathers information but chased away

Protagonist Victorino Relocates to new lair

Protagonist Victorino Recruits lackeys, thugs, and minions

Protagonist Victorino Updates security

Protagonist Victorino Adds spy traps

Protagonist Victorino Hires army of private investigtors

Protagonist Victorino Imelyna accusers arrested for child pornography and embezzlement

Protagonist Victorino Exposes elected officials’ crimes

Antagonist Evans convinces Imelyna to turn against Victorino

Protagonist Victorino Criminal ecoterrorism enterprise

Antagonist Factories burned to the ground

Protagonist Victorino Gets gadgets from Q-type

Antagonist Evans has Imelyna give Victorino a new glasses with listening device

Sequence 6

Protagonist Victorino Relocates to new lair

Antagonist Murders Victorino’s main henchman

Protagonist Victorino Buys off local police to get Evans

Antagonist Evans bombs lair and escapes

Protagonist Victorino Cancels visit to battery receptacle

Protagonist Victorino Kills longtime trusted managers

Protagonist Victorino Exposes disloyal Imelyna

Antagonist Evans rescues Imelyna

Protagonist Victorino Fights Evans

Antagonist Evans wins fight

Protagonist Victorino Uses gadgets to gain upper hand

Antagonist Uses gadgets to injure Victorino

Protagonist Victorino Debates which of them is moral

Antagonist Bombs lair, ruins Victorino’s plan

Protagonist Victorino Becomes a megalomaniac

Antagonist Unable to stop Victorino’s escape

ACT 3

Sequence 7

Protagonist Victorino Relocates to new lair

Protagonist Victorino Addresses world, offers free technology

Protagonist Victorino Tricks Imelyna for password

Antagonist Evans corners Victorino

Protagonist Victorino Wounds Imelyna so can escape

Antagonist Unable to stop Victorino’s escape

Sequence 8

Protagonist Victorino Blasts off in a rocket

Protagonist Victorino Arrives space station in outer space

Protagonist Victorino Goes to the bridge

Protagonist Victorino Deploys solar panels

Protagonist Victorino Aligns panels to the computer

Protagonist Victorino Gives POTUS an ultimatum: install his energy system or he will take over the world

Antagonist Tells Victorino his technology doesn’t even work

Protagonist Victorino Demonstrates energy magnifier

Antagonist Sabotages demonstration

Protagonist Victorino About to tell world POTUS is responsible

Antagonist Tells Victorino he just embarrassed himself in front of the whole world

Antagonist Victorino is a failure, a fraud, a loser

Antagonist Offers same deal as 10 years ago, to buy technology, but without his services

Protagonist Victorino Apoplectically rejects offer

Antagonist Fires nuclear missiles at him in space

Protagonist Victorino Neutralizes missiles with wide beam

Antagonist One missile explodes, damages space station, injures Victorino

Protagonist Victorino Turns magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction

Antagonist relents and gives up

Protagonist Victorino Ignore POTUS and annihilates earth

Protagonist Victorino Blasts the man on the moon to smithereens

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz NQ 3 and 4

Day 10 Assignment: Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…many of the scenes originated out of logical plot brainstorming, and it is interesting how many of them instinctively contained emotional depth, so it is rewarding to be able to go back and label the scenes, and I think giving the scenes labels will help later on as a reminder when it is time to actually write the scene.

3. THE EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

Emotional decision between two unacceptable choices directly connected to the Main Conflict, unacceptable because of the negative ramifications of choice not chosen.

MAIN CONFLICT

Powerful interests (Antagonists) keep throwing greater and greater obstacles at Victorino to keep him and his technology down, however, to solve that, Victorino tries to gain enough power to take over the world.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

As Victorino takes a Imelyna’s moral approach to building power, they fall in love, however the moral approach is only getting them him so far, so Victorino decides to try his more natural self-interested villainy approach to gaining power, but Imelyna doesn’t approve, and he loses her love and support.

Victorino has to choose between morality, failure, and having Imelyna…and self-interest, a chance at success, and losing Imelyna.

Choice A: Be moral in the pursuit of power and have a loving relationship with Imelyna…but fail to take over the world.

Choice B: Be self-interested in the pursuit of power and keep trying to take over the world…but then lose Imelyna.

Does Victorino choose morality, Imelyna, and failure…or does he choose self-interest, a chance at success, and losing Imelyna.

Victorino chooses self-interest and a chance at success, even though it means losing Imelyna.

For the Emotional Dilemma, ask these questions:

A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?

– Imelyna offers to help Victorino fight the righteous fight with her resources

B. How are both sides of the issue built up?

– Victorino & Imelyna work selflessly for the good of people, while falling in love

– Victorino & Imelyna work selflessly for the good of the planet, while falling in love

– Victorino is self-interested and Imelyna corrects him

– Victorino is self-interested and Imelyna disapproves

– Victorino is self-interested and devious and Imelyna chastises

– Victorino is self-interested and devious and Imelyna opposes

C. When does the protagonist make the choice?

– Crisis scene – Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans into space.

D. What do they lose in making that choice?

– Victorino is going to pursuing the goal on his own, without her

4. THE THEME

Deep emotional theme/message in every aspect of your story.

Present both sides of the theme, allowing the audience to experience whatever side they are on, then bring your point home in the resolution.

THEME: Greed destroys everything in its wake

A. What are both sides of your theme?

Side 1: Greed preserves everything in its wake

Side 2: Greed destroys everything in its wake.

B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?

Side 1: Greed preserves everything in its wake

Antagonists throw obstacles at Victorino designed to destroy him so he stops innovating, destroy his technology to preserve the status quo, destroy his reputation so he stops having influence, stop his progress, to preserve the status quo, keep fossil fuels making money, maintain the current energy system

Protagonist is trying to restore his reputation, restore his technology, preserve the environment from getting worse

Side 2: Greed destroys everything in its wake.

Antagonist greed destroys his work, destroy his reputation, destroys the earth through global warming, destroys shipments, destroys factories, destroys faith in the system, destroys good people

Victorino’s greed destroys his morals, destroys his relationship with Imelyna, destroys rivals, destroys innocent people, destroys the earth

C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?

Prez destroys his integrity as he reveals he’s behind the sabotage, Victorino not taking the President’s offer destroys compromise, Victorino destroys the earth

So Greed destroys everything in its wake.

PASS #4 — Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.

OUTLINE

OPENING SCENE — OPENING IMAGE (Action, interesting, visuals, tone)

EXT. SMALL TOWN PARK — DAY

10-year-old boy Victorino uses the thick lenses of his glasses as a magnifying lens to first pull a splinter from his cat’s paw, but then after being bullied, uses the magnifying lens to burn ants.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM OF PILOT PLANT — DAY

Potential investors watch a marketing video showing a computer simulation of Victorino’s revolutionary solar energy system, which uses a series of huge magnifying lens in space to beam massive amounts of energy into huge battery receptacles on earth. They want to buy the company from Victorino before the competition gets to see the live demonstration, but Victorino rejects their lowball offer, and is especially offended because they wouldn’t want him continuing on with the project.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE – START POINT

INT. MAIN INDUSTRIAL SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — LATER

Victorino meets VIP guests in attendance, including Imelyna, a movie star/environmental activist, who is covering the event for her social media. Victorino see someone (Evans) close to the battery receptacle and ushers him away.

MAIN CONFLICT FIRST SHOWS UP — OBSTACLE

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS

Victorino demonstrates a small-scale version of his revolutionary energy magnifier, but when he fires the energy beam into the receptacle, there’s a ricochet of energy that is clearly a mistake, because it glances off Victorino, severely burning him, as well as a few observers who duck out of the way, and pierces a large hole behind through the entire building. Victorino is shocked and shaken, and there is loud chaos in the room.

BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT

INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS

Imelyna joins Victorino as he finds a tiny mirror inappropriately placed inside the battery receptacle. She wonders if it was sabotage as Victorino catches half a glimpse of Evans ducking out the back door. She sees his injury and calls the paramedics.

TURNING POINT – NEW SITUATION FOR VICTORINO – WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN – OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. HOSPITAL – LATER

Victornio is bandaged up and released. He goes to check on the other injured people, (maybe his badly injured partner if he has one dies), but the University President stops hm to tell him they are pulling the plug on the project. The police then arrive to arrest Victorino as Imelyna watches him be taken away.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. POLICE STATION – LATER

Victorino defends himself against accusations. He accuses the company he rejected. The police look up the company on the internet, no such company exists. He is released, no charges pending further investigation.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER

Imelyna offers to give Victorino a ride home in her limousine. After the sabotage, she worries for his safety.

INT. LIMO – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna gives him a ride to his house. He falls asleep by the time they arrive as his poor shack, and she tells her driver to go back to the hotel.

DRAMATIC QUESTION START POINT

INT. HOTEL – THE NEXT MORNING

Imelyna begs him not to let the greedy entrenched interests stop his work, but worries that entrenched interests are like cornered, injured animals. Victorino says the only way to achieve their goal of installing his technology is to put these greedy corporations out of business once and for all, and all at once. And since they are backed by evil politicians , she jokes, “so you’re just going to become powerful enough to take over the world?”

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

INT. HOTEL BED – MOMENTS LATER

Victorino and Imelyna have sex.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA START POINT

INT. LIMO – LATER

Imelyna drops Victorino off at the plant. She invites him to relocate and continue his work under her financing. If he reconsiders, she’ll be leaving later that day.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT – change of plans, twist changes his life, sends him on a journey

INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS

Victorino is stunned to find his space empty, and all his work is gone. Thugs with guns chase him from his laboratory. Victorino flees for his life and escapes, and calls Imelyna: What time’s your flight?

ACT IIa – PROGRESS

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

EXT. Imelyna’s Scandinavian Glacial Estate – DAY

Imelyna takes Victorino on a tour of her family’s land, shows him the effects of global warming, Imelyna says she has starter money, but he’s going to have to commercialize a small piece of the technology so they can finance their enterprise, he jokes “is this where we’re going to build our lair?”

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. Small Warehouse Laboratory – DAY

Victorino invents a solar panel with a magnifying glass layer – increases energy by 2000% – they plan to sell the device, “it’s incremental change, but it’s only the beginning, but first we’re gonna need a lot of sand”

THEME – greed destroys

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

EXT. Imelyna’s Maldives Estate – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna in bathing suits are lying back in lounge chairs under an umbrella on an empty beach, digging their toes in the fine white powder sand, sipping on a cocktail, “98% pure silica, you sure you want to plunder…this?” “this strip used to be a half mile wide, the beach is shrinking…rather the ocean is rising” “so then is this where we’re going to build our lair?” Sex.

Theme – greed creates

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. Huge Industrial Manufacturing Plant

Business plan, meet HR manager, hiring locals, meet attorney, setting up operations, manufacturing new solar panels, selling by the truckload, montage of expanding business, financial accounts growing, designing innovations, amassing a fortune, growing an empire. Doing good for the world, and creating good paying jobs. And having a good time falling in love doing it.

THEME – greed creates

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. MANSION – DAY

Imelyna guides the exponential growth of the company. She secures several huge accounts/projects. They are successful and in love.

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

Attorney mentions 57 patent infringement lawsuits, none real, all designed to settle for a payout or to slow their progress, Victorino says to fight them all.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. AWARD CEREMONY – NIGHT

Gala thrown to award Victorino a prestigious technology innovation award

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

INT. BEDROOM – LATER

Watching the news Victorino was well-received, referring to the video “I like my hair, you know I tried the 3rd day without washing hair and it really does work”, he thinks Imelyna looked so pretty, but he wonders if he should have a makeover to better even out their disparity so they can be a power couple, she says she being dying to make him over but knows how sensitive he can be, she loves to shop, suggests he even contemplate running for political office in order to change the laws to stop the subsidies to fossil fuels, they are both excited from the gala and have sex

THEME – greed creates

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna look at business bank accounts, and they are amassing wealth. He is a certifiable tycoon.

THEME – greed creates

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

Victorino and Imelyna shop for clothes , cars , jewelry, and mansions. One designer says he will make something custom for him. Victorino and Imelyna browse various art galleries, go to auctions, they buy absurd sculptures, paintings, artifacts

THEME – greed destroys

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

However, suddenly the government passes a red tape law, which Victorino calls his attorney to fight.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

INT. MANSION — DAY

Victorino and Imelyna meet Evans, who they don’t know is a spy, and Victorino is dismissive.

THEME – greed destroys

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION — DAY

Victorino learns that their computer system was hacked and some IP was stolen.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

INT. MANSION — DAY

Designer has sent over Victorino’s new outfit, but Victorino thinks it is interesting but doesn’t quite feel comfortable in it, and Imelyna hates it, says it makes him look like a crazy person. Victorino decides to change for the evening’s fuction.

THEME – greed creates

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. MUSEUM – NIGHT

Victorino and Imelyna hold a nice charitable function, and they are happy together, but V expresses a feeling of impatience and distraction and it’s small scale helping, but Imelyna reminds him that they are raising awareness and doing good work. After announcing the sizeable fundraising total, Victorino steals the spotlight, and announces he is running for political office. Imelyna is unhappily stunned.

THEME – greed destroys

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

Movie star Imelyna is the subject of a dated/fake scandal , ending Victorino’s political aspirations. He wants to fight fire with fire, but she tells him they have to stay moral and be better than others.

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino has a shipment of goods stalled in port. It’s the next innovation that will now be delayed.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna have various exotic animal handlers show them his pet options – sloth, snake, spider, fireflies.

THEME – greed destroys

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

Imelyna gets blackballed for being unstable (Sharon Stone/Britney/Angelina), and Victorino wants to retaliate, but she wants them to remain on the high road.

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

US passes new law increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies

THEME – greed destroys

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

Paranoid Victorino kills a spy, except that he was not a spy, just a local government regulator set to do a routine inspection

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

SECOND ACT MID-POINT

Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and world domination. If you can’t beat them, join them. It’s not just power he needs, but he needs to fight dirty. Entrenched interests are immoral, devious scoundrels. Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from greedy corporations and politicians.

ACT 2B – COMPLICATIONS & HIGHER STAKES

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino develops a masterplan to give himself finally the upper hand over the antagonists so he can achieve vindication for his revolutionary energy system and vengeance.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino holds a meeting among powerful international bad guys and explains his vision for the organization and world energy domination

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

Victorino and Imelyna have different realtors in different countries take them on tours of various locations to build secret compounds, but Imelyna knows it is necessary but she feels uncomfortable.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino meets with HR to make decisions regarding recruiting lackeys, bodyguards, thugs, and minions, but Imelyna grows concerned with the type of people Victorino is hiring.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino meets with various experts showing him cutting edge options for computer network, building security, and spy traps Victorino purposefully sends Imelyna on an errand so he can meet with the spy trap people.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino shows Imelyna the cover of a magazine/newspaper saying that the people who blackballed Imelyna have been arrested for child pornography and embezzlement. Imelyna expresses her concern to Victorino, who rationalizes that the ends justify the means. First crack in the Victorino/Imelyna relationship.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

Evans charms Imelyna.

Victorino hires PIs to expose the many devious ways in which governments bent the rules in their favor

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

Victorino creates a criminal enterprise to progress their agenda.

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino learns one his factories burns to the ground.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

Gadget guy demonstrates silly and over-the-top toys for Victorino

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino discovers that his henchman has been murdered after a struggle. And Imelyna has been gone an unusually long time.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

When Imelyna returns she says she was out shopping and gives Victorino a new pair of glasses.

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino is alerted that Evans has infiltrated the lair, and bombs destroy the lair. Evans escapes Victorino’s minions.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

EXT. PARK – DAY

Victorino buys political influence

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino is baffled by how Evans seems prescient, always finding Victorino around the world at his next lair. He cancels a visit to the battery receptacle because it is too dangerous.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino and Evans play cat and mouse again at the next lair, but Evans escapes in a flying car.

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Because Victorino is suspicious of Imelyna, he tells her that he has captured Evans and put him in the giant glass ant farm torture chamber. Victorino discovers that Imelyna has betrayed him as she goes to the ant farm to release Evans. Imelyna admits that she can’t control her feelings for Evans. But she still loves Victorino too.

THEME – greed destroys

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Bombs interrupt Victorino’s the implementation of his masterplan plan. The explosions destroy the lair, and the compound is on fire. Evans confronts Victorino, and they have a heart-to-heart discussion. Each thinks the other is evil. Victorino warns him to stay away from Imelyna. They fight, gadgets too.

END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino manages too temporarily evade Evans. With his masterplan and lairs in ruin, Victorino completes his metamorphosis into a megalomaniac, finally donning a proper outfit.

THEME

EMOTIONAL DILEMMA

CRISIS

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans into space.

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino blasts off in a rocket to his space station in outer space.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Victorino docks at his space station, goes to the bridge, deploys new space solar panels, aligns them to the computer, turns them on, everything is operational

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT BOILING POINT — Protagonist vs Antagonists showdown

DRAMATIC QUESTION END POINT – he does not have enough power to take over the world

CLIMAX

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Megalomaniac Victorino sits alone in his small space station, and gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him take over the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. The full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged (again!), and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes most of the missiles with a wide beam from his giant magnifying lens, but one missile explodes, damaging his space station and injuring him.

THEME – greed destroys

MAIN CONFLICT RESOLVED

RESOLUTION

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Victorino finally fights back and destroys the Antagonists

In a rage, Victorino turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and annihilates earth. Victorino: “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the man on the moon to smithereens.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz 3rd Pass — NQ 1 and 2

Day 9 Assignment: Adding The First Two Necessary Questions

What I’ve learned doing the assignment is: I had known that every scene should have a purpose, so as we build and develop the outline, specifically dropping in necessary scenes ensures that the movie is properly developed with scenes with purpose.

Concept — A narcissistic scientist invents a revolutionary solar energy system that could end global warming, however, when government spies sabotage his work to protect greedy entrenched interests, it triggers in him a megalomaniac pursuit of world domination that ends tragically in planetary annihilation.

1. THE DRAMATIC QUESTION — keeps us intellectually engaged

Can Victorino gain enough powerful to take over the world so he can install his solar technology?

A. Start Point — Where does the Dramatic Question first get established and how?

– Victorino and Imelyna are discussing his plight, and she thinks he is in quite a dangerous, difficult, or otherwise unfortunate situation. There are unknown powerful forces working against him. Entrenched interests are like cornered, injured animals. Who knows how big, how deep, how nefarious.

– Victorino says the only way to achieve their goal of installing his technology to save the world is to put these greedy corporations out of business once and for all. There are too many of them to go one by one, so he’ll have to handle them as a group. And since they are backed by evil politicians, they have to be dealt with as well.

– How is he going to gain enough power to take over the world?

– He’s gonna just have to take over the world. There’s no two ways about it. That’s all there is to it. Then let’s celebrate! (sex)

B. Compelling Middle Scenes — Showing how Victorino keeps gaining power with increasing intensity

– Commercializing pieces of the his technology, making money, building a business, getting an award, tycoon, trying politics, commercializing more technology, criminal enterprise, partnering with other powerful likeminded people, building lairs, buying political influence

C. End Point — Where does the Dramatic Question finally get answered?

– Victorino’s demonstration is sabotaged again, so he doesn’t have the proof that his technology works.

– And he has no leverage

2. THE MAIN CONFLICT — the increasing fight between the protagonist and antagonist that keeps us worried about what will happen

As Victorino keeps becoming more powerful, powerful interests keep throwing greater and greater obstacles into his way.

A. When does the Main Conflict first show up?

– Victorino decides not to sell his company, so the antagonists sabotage his demonstration and reputation

B. How many ways can you express the Main Conflict throughout the story?

– Run through all the various and increasingly violent ways the Antagonist interferes with Victorino’s rise in power

C. What brings the Main Conflict to a boiling point in the 3rd Act?

– Victorino and POTUS, proxy for the Antagonists, have a showdown at the climax

D. How is the Main Conflict resolved?

– Victorino finally fights back and destroys the Antagonists

ASSIGNMENT

——————–

Apply the first two questions to your outline.

DRAMATIC QUESTION AND MAIN CONFLICT ADDED INTO STRUCTURE

OUTLINE

OPENING SCENE — OPENING IMAGE (Action, interesting, visuals, tone)

EXT. SMALL TOWN PARK — DAY

10-year-old boy Victorino uses the thick lenses of his glasses as a magnifying lens to first pull a splinter from his cat’s paw, but then after being bullied, uses the magnifying lens to burn ants.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM OF PILOT PLANT — DAY

Potential investors watch a marketing video showing a computer simulation of Victorino’s revolutionary solar energy system, which uses a series of huge magnifying lens in space to beam massive amounts of energy into huge battery receptacles on earth. They want to buy the company from Victorino before the competition gets to see the live demonstration, but Victorino rejects their lowball offer, and is especially offended because they wouldn’t want him continuing on with the project.

DRAMATIC TRIANGLE – START POINT

INT. MAIN INDUSTRIAL SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — LATER

Victorino meets VIP guests in attendance, including Imelyna, a movie star/environmental activist, who is covering the event for her social media. Victorino see someone (Evans) close to the battery receptacle and ushers him away.

MAIN CONFLICT FIRST SHOWS UP — OBSTACLE

INCITING INCIDENT

INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS

Victorino demonstrates a small-scale version of his revolutionary energy magnifier, but when he fires the energy beam into the receptacle, there’s a ricochet of energy that is clearly a mistake, because it glances off Victorino, severely burning him, as well as a few observers who duck out of the way, and pierces a large hole behind through the entire building. Victorino is shocked and shaken, and there is loud chaos in the room.

BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT

INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS

Imelyna joins Victorino as he finds a tiny mirror inappropriately placed inside the battery receptacle. She wonders if it was sabotage as Victorino catches half a glimpse of Evans ducking out the back door. She sees his injury and calls the paramedics.

TURNING POINT – NEW SITUATION FOR VICTORINO – WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN – OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. HOSPITAL – LATER

Victornio is bandaged up and released. He goes to check on the other injured people, (maybe his badly injured partner if he has one dies), but the University President stops hm to tell him they are pulling the plug on the project. The police then arrive to arrest Victorino as Imelyna watches him be taken away.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. POLICE STATION – LATER

Victorino defends himself against accusations. He accuses the company he rejected. The police look up the company on the internet, no such company exists. He is released, no charges pending further investigation.

EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER

Imelyna offers to give Victorino a ride home in her limousine. After the sabotage, she worries for his safety.

INT. LIMO – MOMENTS LATER

Imelyna gives him a ride to his house. He falls asleep by the time they arrive as his poor shack, and she tells her driver to go back to the hotel.

DRAMATIC QUESTION START POINT

INT. HOTEL – THE NEXT MORNING

Imelyna begs him not to let the greedy entrenched interests stop his work, but worries that entrenched interests are like cornered, injured animals. Victorino says the only way to achieve their goal of installing his technology is to put these greedy corporations out of business once and for all, and all at once. And since they are backed by evil politicians, she jokes, “so you’re just going to become powerful enough to take over the world?”

INT. HOTEL BED – MOMENTS LATER

Victorino and Imelyna have sex.

INT. LIMO – LATER

Imelyna drops Victorino off at the plant. She invites him to relocate and continue his work under her financing. If he reconsiders, she’ll be leaving later that day.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT – change of plans, twist changes his life, sends him on a journey

INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS

Victorino is stunned to find his space empty, and all his work is gone. Thugs with guns chase him from his laboratory. Victorino flees for his life and escapes, and calls Imelyna: What time’s your flight?

ACT IIa – PROGRESS

EXT. Imelyna’s Scandinavian Glacial Estate – DAY

Imelyna takes Victorino on a tour of her family’s land, shows him the effects of global warming, Imelyna says she has starter money, but he’s going to have to commercialize a small piece of the technology so they can finance their enterprise, he jokes “is this where we’re going to build our lair?”

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. Small Warehouse Laboratory – DAY

Victorino invents a solar panel with a magnifying glass layer – increases energy by 2000% – they plan to sell the device, “it’s incremental change, but it’s only the beginning, but first we’re gonna need a lot of sand”

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

EXT. Imelyna’s Maldives Estate – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna in bathing suits are lying back in lounge chairs under an umbrella on an empty beach, digging their toes in the fine white powder sand, sipping on a cocktail, “98% pure silica, you sure you want to plunder…this?” “this strip used to be a half mile wide, the beach is shrinking…rather the ocean is rising” “so then is this where we’re going to build our lair?”

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. Huge Industrial Manufacturing Plant

Business plan, meet HR manager, hiring locals, meet attorney, setting up operations, manufacturing new solar panels, selling by the truckload, montage of expanding business, financial accounts growing, designing innovations, amassing a fortune, growing an empire

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. MANSION – DAY

Imelyna guides the exponential growth of the company. She secures several huge accounts/projects.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

Attorney mentions 57 patent infringement lawsuits, none real, all designed to settle for a payout or to slow their progress, Victorino says to fight them all.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. AWARD CEREMONY – NIGHT

Gala thrown to award Victorino a prestigious technology innovation award

INT. BEDROOM – LATER

Watching the news Victorino was well-received, referring to the video “I like my hair, you know I tried the 3rd day without washing hair and it really does work”, he thinks Imelyna looked so pretty, but he wonders if he should have a makeover to better even out their disparity so they can be a power couple, she says she being dying to make him over but knows how sensitive he can be, she loves to shop, suggests he even contemplate running for political office in order to change the laws to stop the subsidies to fossil fuels, they are both excited from the gala and have sex

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna look at business bank accounts, and they are amassing wealth. He is a certifiable tycoon.

Victorino and Imelyna shop for clothes , cars , jewelry, and mansions.

Victorino and Imelyna browse various art galleries, go to auctions, they buy absurd sculptures, paintings, artifacts

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

However, suddenly the government passes a red tape law, which Victorino calls his attorney to fight.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

Victorino and Imelyna meet Evans, who they don’t know is a spy, and Victorino is dismissive. They discover their computer system was hacked and some IP was stolen.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. MUSEUM – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna hold a charitable function.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. CITY HALL – DAY

Victorino announces he is running for political office.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino is the subject of a fake scandal , ending his political aspirations.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino has a shipment of goods stalled in port.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

US passes new law increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies

Victorino kills a regulator

SECOND ACT MID-POINT

Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from greedy corporations and politicians, Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and world domination.

ACT 2B – COMPLICATIONS & HIGHER STAKES

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino develops a masterplan to give himself finally the upper hand over the antagonists so he can achieve vindication for his revolutionary energy system and vengeance.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino holds a meeting among powerful international bad guys and explains his vision for the organization and world energy domination

Victorino and Imelyna have different realtors in different countries take them on tours of various locations to build secret compounds

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino meets with HR to make decisions regarding recruiting lackeys, bodyguards, thugs, and minions

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino meets with various experts showing him cutting edge options for computer network, building security, and spy traps

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

Evans charms Imelyna.

INT. MANSION – DAY

Imelyna expresses her concern to Victorino, who rationalizes that the ends justify the means. First crack in the Victorino/Imelyna relationship.

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino and Imelyna have various exotic animal handlers show them his pet options – sloth, snake, spider, fireflies

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

Victorino creates a criminal enterprise to progress their agenda.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. MANSION – DAY

Victorino learns one his factories burns to the ground.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

Gadget guy demonstrates silly and over-the-top toys for Victorino

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorin discovers that his henchman has been murdered after a struggle. And Imelyna has been gone an unusually long time.

INT. MANSION – DAY

When Imelyna returns she says she was out shopping and gives Victorino a new pair of glasses.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino is alerted that Evans has infiltrated the lair, and bombs destroy the lair. Evans escapes Victorino’s minions.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

EXT. PARK – DAY

Victorino buys political influence

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino is baffled by how Evans seems prescient, always finding Victorino around the world at his next lair. He cancels a visit to the battery receptacle because it is too dangerous.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino and Evans play cat and mouse again at the next lair, but Evans escapes in a flying car.

INT. LAIR – DAY

Because Victorino is suspicious of Imelyna, he tells her that he has captured Evans and put him in the giant glass ant farm torture chamber.

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino discovers that Imelyna has betrayed him as she goes to the ant farm to release Evans. Imelyna admits that she can’t control her feelings for Evans. But she still loves Victorino too.

MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE

INT. LAIR – DAY

Bombs interrupt/explode and the compound is on fire. Evans confronts Victorino, and they have a heart to heart discussion. Each thinks the other is evil.

END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT

INT. LAIR – DAY

With his masterplan and lairs in ruin, Victorino completes his metamorphosis into a megalomaniac.

CRISIS

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans into space.

INT. LAIR – DAY

Victorino blasts off in a rocket to his space station in outer space.

DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Victorino docks at his space station, goes to the bridge, deploys new space solar panels, aligns them to the computer, turns them on, everything is operational

MAIN CONFLICT BOILING POINT — Protagonist vs Antagonists showdown

DRAMATIC QUESTION END POINT – he does not have enough power to take over the world

CLIMAX

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Megalomaniac Victorino sits alone in his small space station, and gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him take over the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. The full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged (again!), and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes most of the missiles with a wide beam from his giant magnifying lens, but one missile explodes, damaging his space station and injuring him.

MAIN CONFLICT RESOLVED

RESOLUTION

INT. SPACESHIP – DAY

Victorino finally fights back and destroys the Antagonists

In a rage, Victorino turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and annihilates earth. Victorino: “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the man on the moon to smithereens.

[Michael Katz]

Hi everyone,

I just posted my SLW Version 2 with many thanks to Antonio Flores.

I realize I was late, and we are already starting the next assignment, however, if anyone would like me to give feedback on their project, please let me know.

And if there are any James Bond fans out there, I’d love it if you could give me feedback on my project since the premise is the complete story (from origin story to tragedy) of a James Bond villain, entirely from the villain’s POV.

Thank you.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz SLW Version 2

1. List the following key components of your story:

A. CONCEPT — When a brilliant, narcissistic scientist invents a revolutionary solar energy system that will end global warming, an unknown entity sabotages him, and the trauma triggers his descent into megalomania and pursuit of world domination.

B. PLOT STRUCTURE — #19/20. Ascension/Descension – the rise/fall of the protagonist. Strong-willed, charismatic, and unique, Victorino descends into megalomania and rises in power, and as he struggles between morality and self-interest, he progresses from weak altruistic scientist to smiteful almighty god.

C. CHARACTER STRUCTURE — Dramatic Triangle between the villain, his girlfriend, and the spy. Victorino owes his rise to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Evans, who is trying to stop Victorino, is turning Imelyna against him.

D. LEAD CHARACTERS:

PROTAGONIST — Charismatic scientist Victorino develops into a megalomaniac bent on proving to the world by whatever means necessary just how great he and his energy system invention are.

IMPACT CHARACTER — Imelyna, a movie star and environmental activist, believes in Victorino’s talent and supports his cause…until he turns to villainy.

ANTAGONIST — The greedy oil, gas, and coal entrenched interests who are causing global warming use the governments of the world as their police arm to stifle energy innovation. Antagonist by proxy, debonair Evans is a government spy sent to stop Victorino, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset.

E. DRAMATIC CONFLICT/QUESTION — Can Victorino take over the world so he can force governments into installing his global warming ending solar technology?

F. MAIN CONFLICT — Victorino wants the world to adopt his revolutionary solar energy system, but greedy interests who want to preserve the status quo keep throwing greater and greater obstacles into his way.

G. EMOTIONAL DILEMMA — Victorino has to choose between love (Imelyna) and self-love.

H. THEME — Greed destroys everything in its wake

I. CHARACTER ARC — Victorino goes from helpless to stop the powerful to a megalomaniac who has unlimited power to defeat evil.

PART TO BE CHANGED — He is impotent, helpless to stop the powerful.

BIGGEST FEAR — The world is out to get him

COMPLETION OF ARC — He becomes omnipotent, regarding himself a god with unlimited power to defeat anything

2. Post the current version of your outline in the forums (your 9 beat structure, one sentence per beat, that you improved in Day 8).

STRUCTURE: 9-beat

1. OPENING SCENE — After not getting his way and being bullied, poor, 10-year-old boy Victorino takes out his frustration by using the thick lenses of his glasses to magnify the sun into a beam to burn ants.

2. INCITING INCIDENT — Scientist Victorino’s small-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged by an unknown entity.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — The trauma triggers his descent into megalomania as Victorino seeks vindication for his technology and world domination over greedy corporations and politicians to have it installed.

4. END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT — Fleeing for his life as thugs chase him from his laboratory, Victorino accepts movie star/environmental activist Imelyna’s invitation to relocate and finish his work.

5. SECOND ACT MID-POINT — Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from greedy corporations and politicians, Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and world domination.

6. END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT — With his masterplan and lairs in ruin, Victorino completes his metamorphosis into a megalomaniac.

7. CRISIS — Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans into space.

8. CLIMAX — Megalomaniac Victorino sits alone in his small space station, and gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him take over the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. The full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged (again!), and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes most of the missiles with a wide beam from his giant magnifying lens, but one missile explodes, damaging his space station and injuring him.

9. RESOLUTION — In a rage, Victorino turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and annihilates earth. Victorino: “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the man on the moon to smithereens.

[Michael Katz]

Hi Antonio,

Here’s my feedback on your Version 3.

This is a ripe arena for you to make a killer movie.

Female Enter the Dragon can absolutely sell.

I am fully 100% supportive, and I am merely offering stream of conscious feedback and brainstorming ideas, so please excuse my tone if the straightforward comments seems critical. My intention is only to be nice and helpful.

1. List the following key components of your story:

A. Concept: overall the concept for me lacks the aha I get it I want to see this movie feeling, as currently constructed it feels convoluted and contrived, see below as I break down the components…

A cheerleader – I’m sure you went through all the options in one of the earlier exercises, so pretty athletic girl has to become tough, but maybe she should start out as the complete opposite of a fighter? like a vegan nurse

fights in the underground MMA – is there still an underground? the sport is sanctioned all over the world now, so it has to be to the death

to rescue her fiancé – if it’s to the death then it is unlikely she would be engaged to a guy who regularly fights in death cage matches

a fighter who was kidnapped — MMA fighters don’t get kidnapped, it’s not plausible, so he’s a secret agent? if you don’t mention it in the concept then it detracts more than intrigues

and poisoned – this seems like a detail plot twist rather than appropriate to be included in the plot, I know you are trying to have a ticking clock element but it feels too much to mention

by criminals to steal a secret – not organic to MMA as a subject matter, so it feels peculiar if it is not made to feel organically connected

that he unwillingly keeps – awkward, confusing, why hide the twist???

– now she must win – his release! now she must rescue him by…

the poison’s antidote – would delete this confusing plot detail, and really…if the Ruler still hasn’t gotten the location, why would he ever agree to give the antidote? just for the love of the sport and a good show??? it’s not believable

in a deadly cage tournament.

Enter the Dragon: Bruce Lee plays a martial-arts expert determined to help capture the narcotics dealer whose gang was responsible for the death of his sister. Lee enters a kung fu competition in an attempt to fight his way to the dealer’s headquarters with the help of some friends. — revenge story, he has the skills, but he has to fight for access

Parisa who is a vegan pediatric nurse must learn how to become a MMA fighter to rescue her undercover cop/secret agent fiancé who has been abducted by a criminal organization that runs illegal MMA death matches. — rescue story, she has to learn the skills, and has to fight for access

A criminal organization doesn’t slowly poison to get people to talk, they torture — how do they even know he has the location information? so there has to be some legitimate reason as to why the fiancé is kept alive if he won’t talk

Once the ruler discovers that she is his captive’s fiancé, then the ruler will threaten to kill her – that is a key plot twist

B. Plot Choice:

Plot choice – Discovery: – this is an action movie

This plot is about having to reconcile the character’s past versus the new present. – feels unrelated and random to the concept

Plot choice should be #4 Rescue, the main character will still self-discover and change but the plot is rescuing her fiancé, wouldn’t overthink this

C. Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle

Three characters (Parisa, Badahur, Philip) wrapped up in a web where there are deeper implications to their relationships than what we see in the beginning.

Badahur wants Parisa out of danger, but he needs her help. As the poison makes him weaker and weaker, he depends on Philip for protection, but he knows Philip could kill him as well. — this slow poison thing feels too contrived

Philip’s task is to the prevent Bahadur to give away the secret — how do you do that? other than just kill, unlikely task

OK I think I got it — She wants to rescue her fiancé, and Philip wants to bring down the RULER as well as rescue Bahadur, they don’t know each other and are independently on rescue missions, at first they are competitors at each other’s throats but soon they realize they want the same thing and become allies, he helps finish her rushed training, they devise a plan, they have an attraction but she stays true to her fiancé, Philip dies end of act 2 to ensure she continues, she and her fiancé ensure Philip’s goal of stopping the RULER and bringing down his enterprise is achieved, plus her bravery in the climax comes through in the end and she wins her fiancé’s release

D. Lead Characters

PARISA, French background, is a cheerleader who fights in the underground MMA to rescue her fiancé — unaware that he is in the middle of a crime conspiracy, her involvement often makes things more dangerous and complicated.

Her background should have 2 elements: 1 thing she must change to succeed, and 1 secret weapon that gives her an advantage on this journey, i.e. if she is a vegan nurse then she doesn’t kill no matter what, she has to change to rescue her fiancé, and her secret weapon is that she understands human anatomy and it’s vulnerable weak points so she knows where to strike to win her matches

E. Dramatic Question:

Can Parisa overcome her fears, become a fighter, win the poison’s antidote and get her fiancé back? — don’t need to say overcome her fears

Is Parisa willing to risk her own life and kill others to rescue her fiancé? — maybe she doesn’t have to kill anyone until the final tournament, it’s exhibition first, then the tournament

F. Main Conflict:

In the world of martial arts, the main conflict is always within the hero. The lives of Parisa and her fiancé depend on her having the courage to do what frightens her. By conquering her fears, she will succeed in the deadly MMA tournament, win the antidote, and get her fiancé back

Conquering her fears doesn’t mean anything, all main characters have to do that, all main characters go through discovery and change, I would return to the earlier exercises to pinpoint how this is supposed to be constructed

G. Dilemma:

Parisa, Bahadur and Philip end up imprisoned by the Ruler. Badahur has been poisoned and the clock is ticking. They are in the middle of the desert. There is no escape. They must join a tournament and win two out of three fights to avoid being killed. They also need to win the final match to get the poison’s antidote as a prize. But Philip gets killed, and Bahadur gets weaker and weaker due to the poisoning. Their only hope is Parisa, who is just a fearful cheerleader, not a real MMA fighter. What’s worse, they know that the Ruler wants the secret that Bahadur keeps, so even by winning the tournament, their escape is pretty much unlikely.

Kill or be killed

H. Theme:

To escape, sometimes you need to stop running. — to rescue

It’s okay to kill bad guys to rescue loved ones

I. Character Arc of Lead Character (if any):

Parisa changes from a fearful woman and goes into someone who not only builds strengths from her weakness, she is also able to overcome what frightens her. She defeats opponents who are stronger than her in the MMA octagon cage.

She goes from an extremely unlikely MMA fighter to the best MMA fighter

She goes from killing is never right to justified killings to save loved ones are ok

[Michael Katz]

Sorry I am late to the party.

I just posted my SLW Version 1.

If anyone has an interest in Megalomaniac or still needs to exchange feedback, I would love to hear your thoughts.

And…if someone needs fresh eyes on their SLW…I need to do 3 feedbacks, and I have time tomorrow.

Thank you!

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz SLW Version 1

1. List the following key components of your story:

A. CONCEPT: A brilliant, narcissistic scientist invents a revolutionary solar energy system that will stop global warming, however when his work and reputation are sabotaged by an unknown entity, the trauma triggers a descent into megalomania as he seeks vindication and vengeance against greedy corporations and politicians.

B. PLOT STRUCTURE: #6. Revenge

Victorino (Protagonist), after having his work and reputation sabotaged, has a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against greedy corporations and politicians (Antagonist).

C. CHARACTER STRUCTURE — Dramatic Triangle between the villain, his girlfriend, and the spy. Victorino owes his rise to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Evans, who is trying to stop Victorino, is turning Imelyna against him.

D. LEAD CHARACTERS:

PROTAGONIST — Charismatic scientist Victorino develops into a megalomaniac bent on proving to the world by whatever means necessary just how great he and his energy system invention are.

IMPACT CHARACTER — Imelyna, a movie star and environmental activist, believes in Victorino’s talent and supports his cause…until he turns to villainy.

ANTAGONIST — The greedy oil, gas, and coal entrenched interests who are causing global warming use the governments of the world as their police arm to stifle energy innovation. Antagonist by proxy, debonair Evans is a government spy sent to stop Victorino, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset.

E. DRAMATIC CONFLICT/QUESTION — Can Victorino become powerful enough to force greedy governments into submission so he can take over the world and install his world saving solar energy system technology?

F. MAIN CONFLICT — Victorino wants the world to adopt his revolutionary energy system, but greedy interests who want to preserve the status quo keep throwing obstacles in his way.

G. DILEMMA — Victorino has to choose between fighting for a cause or fighting for himself/proving his power.

H. THEME — Corporate greed destroys everything in its wake.

I. CHARACTER ARC — Victorino goes from helpless to stop the powerful to a megalomaniac who has unlimited power to defeat evil.

PART TO BE CHANGED: He is impotent, helpless to stop the powerful.

BIGGEST FEAR: He won’t be powerful enough to get vindication and vengeance.

COMPLETION OF ARC: He becomes omnipotent, regarding himself a god with unlimited power to defeat anything/everything

2. Post the current version of your outline in the forums (your 9 beat structure, one sentence per beat, that you improved in Day 8).

STRUCTURE: 9-beat

1. OPENING SCENE — After not getting his way and being bullied, poor, 10-year-old boy Victorino takes out his frustration by burning ants using the thick lenses of his glasses to magnify the sun into a beam.

2. INCITING INCIDENT — Scientist Victorino’s small-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged by an unknown entity.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — The trauma triggers a descent into megalomania as Victorino seeks vindication and vengeance against greedy corporations and politicians.

4. END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT — Fleeing for his life as thugs chase him from his laboratory, Victorino accepts movie star/environmental activist Imelyna’s invitation to relocate and finish his work.

5. SECOND ACT MID-POINT — Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from greedy corporations and politicians, Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and vengeance.

6. END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT — With his masterplan and lairs in ruin, Victorino completes his metamorphosis into a megalomaniac.

7. CRISIS — Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans to space.

8. CLIMAX — Megalomaniac Victorino gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him rule the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. The full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged (again!), and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes the missiles with a wide beam from his giant magnifying lens, and then in a rage turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and annihilates earth.

9. RESOLUTION — Victorino sits alone in his small space station, “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the man on the moon to smithereens.

Working through everything, I got really confused as to my story goal as I started to see many of the inconsistencies. So besides the above, the difficult area I haven’t been able to wrap my brain around yet…is Victorino’s goal:

To stop global warming and save the world

To get vindication and prove his technology works

To have his technology installed to stop global warming and save the world

To get revenge against greedy corporations by putting them out of business

To get revenge against greedy corporations by taking over the world and putting them out of business

To get revenge against greedy corporations by destroying them

If he gets revenge and destroys the greedy corporations, is it a success story? even if he destroys earth?

If his technology is sabotaged again and he never gets vindication, is it a failure story? even if he destroys the greedy corporations?

If as a megalomaniac he proves that he is almighty, is it a success story? even if he destroys earth? even if no-one can bear witness?

If he fails at implementing his technology but still gets a megalomaniac’s revenge, should the audience feel good at the end?

I did not solve this yet, so I am merely going with what I have worked through so far.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Michael Katz.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Pass 2: Story Logic Web

1. What I learned doing this assignment is….that this process really uncovered a big story logic problem I have: distinguishing between the many possible problems/goals of the story, and then getting confused as to what makes the story a triumph or tragedy at the end. I have mixed answers for everything. So I am glad this is only Pass 2!!! lol

2. BEFORE:

CONCEPT: When a nobody inventor suffering from megalomania has his revolutionary scientific work sabotaged, he seeks vindication for his technology and vows to take over the world to stop evil corporations and politicians.

LEAD CHARACTERS:

PROTAGONIST — Charismatic scientist Victorino develops into a villain seeking to prove to the world by whatever means necessary that his solar energy system will cleanly and sustainably power the entire planet.

IMPACT CHARACTER

Imelyna, who is an actor/environmental activist fighting global warming, believes in Victorino and supports his cause/mission. She’s not only an equal partner, but she’s the woman behind the man, shaping Victorino’s ideology and demeanor.

ANTAGONIST

Evans is a government spy sent to stop Victorino, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset. He’s a charming, sophisticated agent with calm demeanor, debonair attitude, and smug one-liners.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE — Dramatic Triangle between the supervillain, his girlfriend, and the spy, with Victorino the supervillain owing his success to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Evans the spy, who is trying to ruin Victorino’s plans, is also attempting to turn Imelyna against him.

PLOT STRUCTURE: #6. Revenge

Victorino (Protagonist) has a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against evil corporations and politicians (Antagonist).

3. STRUCTURE: 9-beat

1. OPENING SCENE — After not getting his way and being bullied, poor, young boy Victorino takes out his frustration by burning ants using the thick lenses of his glasses to magnify the sun into a beam.

2. INCITING INCIDENT — Scientist Victorino’s small-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged by an unknown entity.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — Victorino seeks vindication for his technology and vengeance against evil corporations and politicians

4. END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT — Fleeing for his life as thugs chase him from his laboratory, Victorino accepts movie star/environmental activist Imelyna’s invitation to relocate and finish his work.

5. SECOND ACT MID-POINT — Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from evil corporations and politicians, Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and vengeance.

6. END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT — With his masterplan and all of his lairs in ruin, Victorino descends fully into megalomania and becomes a megalomaniac.

7. CRISIS — Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the codes, and he wounds her so he can escape from Evans the spy to space.

8. CLIMAX — Megalomaniac Victorino gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him rule the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. His full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged, and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes the misses with his magnifier, then turns it into a weapon and annihilates earth.

9. RESOLUTION — Victorino sits alone in the small space station, “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.”, Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the moon to smithereens

CHARACTER ARC — Victorino goes from helpless to stop the powerful to a megalomaniac who has unlimited power to defeat evil.

PART TO BE CHANGED: He is impotent, helpless to stop the powerful

BIGGEST FEAR: He won’t be powerful enough to get vindication and vengeance

COMPLETION OF ARC: He becomes omnipotent, regarding himself a god with unlimited power to defeat evil

MAIN CONFLICT — Victorino keeps trying different ways to develop and build his revolutionary energy system, but the governments of the world who want to preserve the status quo for entrenched oil/gas/coal interests keep throwing obstacles into his way to prevent him

DRAMATIC CONFLICT — Can Victorino become powerful enough to force the greedy world governments into submission so he can take over the world and implement his world saving solar energy system technology?

DILEMMA — Victorino has to choose between being a good person or being himself.

THEME — Corporate/government greed destroys everything in its wake

3. DISCOVERIES and IMPROVEMENTS:

Really trying to hone in on the specific descriptors to be as clear and organic and authentic as possible.

Going line by line I was really able to make strides at being consistent and coherent.

*****BIGGEST DISCOVERY*****

Working through everything, I got really confused as to my story goal as I started to see many of the inconsistencies.

Difficult area I haven’t been able to wrap my brain around yet…is Victorino’s goal:

To stop global warming and save the world

To get vindication and prove his technology works

To have his technology installed to stop global warming and save the world

To get revenge against greedy corporations by putting them out of business

To get revenge against greedy corporations by taking over the world and putting them out of business

To get revenge against greedy corporations by destroying them

If he gets revenge and destroys the greedy corporations, is it a success story? even if he destroys earth?

If his technology is sabotaged again and he never gets vindication, is it a failure story? even if he destroys the greedy corporations?

If as a megalomaniac he proves that he is almighty, is it a success story? even if he destroys earth? even if no-one can bear witness?

If he fails at implementing his technology but still gets a megalomaniac’s revenge, should the audience feel good at the end?

I did not solve this yet, so I am merely going with what I have worked through so far.

4. AFTER: SOME SOLVED AND ELEVATED

CONCEPT: A brilliant, narcissistic scientist invents a revolutionary solar energy system that will stop global warming, however when his work and reputation are sabotaged by an unknown entity, the trauma triggers a descent into megalomania as he seeks vindication and vengeance against greedy corporations and politicians.

LEAD CHARACTERS:

PROTAGONIST — Charismatic scientist Victorino develops into a megalomaniac bent on proving to the world by whatever means necessary just how great he and his energy system invention are.

IMPACT CHARACTER — Imelyna, a movie star and environmental activist, believes in Victorino’s talent and supports his cause…until he turns to villainy.

ANTAGONIST — The greedy oil, gas, and coal entrenched interests who are causing global warming use the governments of the world as their police arm to stifle energy innovation. Antagonist by proxy, debonair Evans is a government spy sent to stop Victorino, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE — Dramatic Triangle between the villain, his girlfriend, and the spy. Victorino owes his rise to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Evans, who is trying to stop Victorino, is turning Imelyna against him.

PLOT STRUCTURE: #6. Revenge

Victorino (Protagonist), after having his work and reputation sabotaged, has a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against greedy corporations and politicians (Antagonist).

3. STRUCTURE: 9-beat

1. OPENING SCENE — After not getting his way and being bullied, poor, 10-year-old boy Victorino takes out his frustration by burning ants using the thick lenses of his glasses to magnify the sun into a beam.

2. INCITING INCIDENT — Scientist Victorino’s small-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged by an unknown entity.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — The trauma triggers a descent into megalomania as Victorino seeks vindication and vengeance against greedy corporations and politicians.

4. END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT — Fleeing for his life as thugs chase him from his laboratory, Victorino accepts movie star/environmental activist Imelyna’s invitation to relocate and finish his work.

5. SECOND ACT MID-POINT — Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from greedy corporations and politicians, Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and vengeance.

6. END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT — With his masterplan and lairs in ruin, Victorino completes his metamorphosis into a megalomaniac.

7. CRISIS — Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans to space.

8. CLIMAX — Megalomaniac Victorino gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him rule the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. The full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged (again!), and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes the missiles with a wide beam from his giant magnifying lens, and then in a rage turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and annihilates earth.

9. RESOLUTION — Victorino sits alone in his small space station, “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the man on the moon to smithereens.

CHARACTER ARC — Victorino goes from helpless to stop the powerful to a megalomaniac who has unlimited power to defeat evil.

PART TO BE CHANGED: He is impotent, helpless to stop the powerful.

BIGGEST FEAR: He won’t be powerful enough to get vindication and vengeance.

COMPLETION OF ARC: He becomes omnipotent, regarding himself a god with unlimited power to defeat anything/everything

MAIN CONFLICT — Victorino wants the world to adopt his revolutionary energy system, but greedy interests who want to preserve the status quo keep throwing obstacles in his way.

DRAMATIC CONFLICT — Can Victorino become powerful enough to force greedy governments into submission so he can take over the world and install his world saving solar energy system technology?

DILEMMA — Victorino has to choose between fighting for a cause or fighting for himself/proving his power.

THEME — Corporate greed destroys everything in its wake.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz 1st Pass

PASS #1: Beginning With Your Structure, Add In Plot and Character Arc

What I learned doing this assignment is…? Having the 9-beat bones laid out really enables logical and creative hole filling.

1. LOGLINE: When a nobody inventor suffering from megalomania has his revolutionary scientific work sabotaged, he seeks vindication for his technology and vows to take over the world to stop evil corporations and politicians.

2. PLOT/PLOT SUMMARY: #6. Revenge

Traeger (Protagonist) has a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against evil corporations and politicians (Antagonist).

3. STRUCTURE: 9-beat

1. OPENING SCENE — After not getting his way and being bullied, poor, young boy Traeger takes out his frustration by burning ants using the thick lenses of his glasses to magnify the sun into a beam.

2. INCITING INCIDENT — Scientist Traeger’s small-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged by an unknown entity.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — Traeger seeks vindication for his technology and vengeance against evil corporations and politicians

4. END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT — Fleeing for his life as thugs chase him from his laboratory, Traeger accepts movie star/environmental activist Imelyna’s invitation to relocate and finish his work.

5. SECOND ACT MID-POINT — Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from evil corporations and politicians, Traeger decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and vengeance.

6. END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT — With his masterplan and all of his lairs in ruin, Traeger descends fully into megalomania and becomes a megalomaniac.

7. CRISIS — Traeger tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the codes, and he wounds her so he can escape from Derek the spy to space.

8. CLIMAX — Megalomaniac Traeger gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him rule the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. His full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged, and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Traeger neutralizes the misses with his magnifier, then turns it into a weapon and annihilates earth.

9. RESOLUTION — Traeger sits alone in the small space station, “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.”, Traeger alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the moon to smithereens

4. PROTAGONIST CHARACTER ARC

Traeger goes from helpless to stop the powerful to a megalomaniac who has unlimited power to defeat evil.

PART TO BE CHANGED: He is impotent, helpless to stop the powerful

BIGGEST FEAR: He won’t be powerful enough to get vindication and vengeance

COMPLETION OF ARC: He becomes omnipotent, regarding himself a god with unlimited power to defeat evil

5. PLOT IN STRUCTURE

1. OPENING SCENE — After not getting his way and being bullied, poor, young boy Traeger takes out his frustration by burning ants using the thick lenses of his glasses to magnify the sun into a beam.

Scientist Traeger meets actor/environmental activist Imelyna early on as she is reporting on his breakthrough technology for social media. She believes his revolutionary energy system will stop global warming.

2. INCITING INCIDENT — Scientist Traeger’s small-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier malfunctions, and a few people are injured, including Traeger, who refuses to go to the hospital.

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — Traeger discovers it is sabotage, and he seeks vindication for his technology and vengeance against the company whose offer he rejected.

Imelyna helps him physically recover. However, Traeger is mentally shaken after learning the company doesn’t actually exist. He starts to get paranoid, fearing a sinister plot to keep him down. Imelyna invites Traeger to relocate with her where she will support him while he continues to pursue his work. Traeger doesn’t accept.

The university pulls the plug and shuts down his project. He now feels helpless and powerless.

Imelyna convinces him that there’s a conspiracy against him, that the world’s current entrenched oil, gas, and coal interests, including multinational companies, oligarchs, and governments don’t want him to succeed.

4. END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT — Fleeing for his life as thugs chase him from his laboratory, Traeger accepts movie star/environmental activist Imelyna’s invitation to relocate and finish his work.

EXT. Imelyna’s Scandinavian Glacial Estate – DAY

Imelyna takes Traeger on a tour of her family’s land, shows him the effects of global warming, Imelyna says she has starter money, but he’s going to have to commercialize a small piece of the technology so they can finance their enterprise, he jokes “so then is this where we’re going to build our lair?”

INT. Small Warehouse Laboratory – DAY

Traeger invents a solar panel with a magnifying glass layer – increases energy by 500% – they plan to sell the device, “but it’s only incremental change, only the beginning” “but first we’re gonna need a couple heaps of sand”

EXT. Imelyna’s Maldives Estate – DAY

Traeger and Imelyna in bathing suits are lying back in lounge chairs under an umbrella on an empty beach, digging their toes in the fine white powder sand, sipping on a cocktail, “98% pure silica, you sure you want to plunder…this?” “this strip used to be a half mile wide, the beach is shrinking…rather the ocean is rising” “so then is this where we’re going to build our lair?”

INT. Huge Industrial Manufacturing Plant

Business plan, meet HR manager, hiring locals, meet attorney, setting up operations, manufacturing new solar panels, selling by the truckload, montage of expanding business, financial accounts growing, designing innovations, amassing a fortune, growing an empire

Imelyna guides the exponential growth of the company. She secures several huge accounts/projects.

INT. AWARD CEREMONY – NIGHT

Gala thrown to award Traeger a prestigious technology innovation award

Attorney mentions 57 patent infringement lawsuits, none real, all designed to settle for a payout or to slow their progress, Traeger says to fight them all.

Traeger and Imelyna look at business bank accounts, and they are amassing wealth. He is a certifiable tycoon.

Traeger and Imelyna go shopping for clothes, cars, jewelry, and mansions.

However, suddenly the government passes a red tape law, which Traeger calls his attorney to fight.

Traeger and Imelyna meet Derek, who they don’t know is a spy, and Traeger is dismissive. They discover their computer system was hacked and some IP was stolen.

Traeger and Imelyna hold a charitable function. Traeger announces he is running for political office.

Traeger is the subject of a fake scandal, ending his political aspirations.

Traeger has a shipment of goods stalled in port.

Traeger kills a regulator

5. SECOND ACT MID-POINT — Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from evil corporations and politicians, Traeger decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and vengeance. He feels moral superiority and self-righteous indignation, and rationalizes that he tried creating change the right way, so now he’s entitled to bend the rules and do it the evil way.

Traeger develops a masterplan to give himself finally the upper hand over the antagonists so he can achieve vindication for his revolutionary energy system and vengeance.

Traeger holds a meeting among powerful international bad guys and explains his vision for the organization and world energy domination

Traeger and Imelyna have different realtors in different countries take them on tours of various locations to build secret compounds

Traeger meets with HR to make decisions regarding recruiting lackeys, bodyguards, thugs, and minions

Traeger meets with various experts showing him cutting edge options for computer network, building security, and spy traps

Derek charms Imelyna.

Imelyna expresses her concern to Traeger, who rationalizes that the ends justify the means. First crack in the Traeger/Imelyna relationship.

Traeger and Imelyna have various exotic animal handlers show them his pet options

Traeger creates a criminal enterprise to progress their agenda.

One of Traeger’s factories burns to the ground.

Gadget guy demonstrates silly and over-the-top toys for Traeger

Traeger discovers that his henchman has been murdered after a struggle. And Imelyna has been gone an unusually long time.

When Imelyna returns she says she was out shopping and gives Traeger a new pair of glasses.

Traeger is alerted that Derek has infiltrated the lair, and bombs destroy the lair. Derek escapes Traeger’s minions.

Traeger is baffled by how Derek seems prescient, always finding Traeger around the world at his next lair. He cancels a visit to the battery receptacle because it is too dangerous.

Traeger and Derek play cat and mouse again at the next lair, but Derek escapes in a flying car.

Because Traeger is suspicious of Imelyna, he tells her that he has captured Derek and put him in the giant glass ant farm torture chamber.

Traeger discovers that Imelyna has betrayed him as she goes to the ant farm to release Derek. Imelyna admits that she can’t control her feelings for Derek. But she still loves Traeger too.

Bombs interrupt/explode and the compound is on fire. Derek confronts Traeger, and they have a heart to heart discussion. Each thinks the other is evil.

6. END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT — With his masterplan and all of his lairs in ruin, Traeger descends fully into megalomania and becomes a megalomaniac.

7. CRISIS — Traeger apologizes to Imelyna for failing to achieve their goals, and tells her to be happy with Derek. Imelyna gives him the codes that will allow him one last desperate attempt to make his plan work. Derek enters, so Traeger wounds Imelyna to distract Derek so he can escape via rocket to space. Traeger witnesses Imelyna whisper something to Derek before he turns the corner.

Traeger doesn’t kill her. He feels like a failure, so he wants to do one thing right, and treat her right. Since he knows he’s probably going to die anyway, he thanks her for all the years of loving support, and he forgives her betrayal, and is willing to let her go be with Derek because he wants her to be happy. Imelyna appreciates his heart of gold, and as she says goodbye, she gives him the codes that will allow him one last desperate attempt to make his plan work

Traeger blasts off in a rocket to his space station in outer space.

8. CLIMAX — Megalomaniac Traeger gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him rule the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. His full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged, and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Traeger neutralizes the misses with his magnifier, then turns it into a weapon and annihilates earth.

9. RESOLUTION — Traeger sits alone in the small space station, “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.”, Traeger alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the moon to smithereens

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Basic Structure

What I learned: Though there are many decent theories of structure, a new writer trying to get read and sell a script maximizes their chance of success by using the most-used, tried and true 9-beat structure.

ASSIGNMENT — Present MEGALOMANIAC using the 9-beat structure

CONCEPT: Think James Bond villain…the entire movie from the villain’s POV, and it’s his complete story, from origin story to tragedy, so in addition to his initial victimhood and need for vindication, we’re seeing his growth to tycoon, evolution to villain, and descent into megalomania…and planetary annihilation.

1. OPENING — Young boy Traeger in his backyard using a magnifying glass and tweezer pulls a splinter out of his thankful cat’s paw, he notices sunlight concentrating through the lens, and with solar ignition fries an ant crawling on the back of his hand

2. THE INCITING INCIDENT — In front of media at a small-scale pilot plant, Traeger reveals his revolutionary sun harnessing breakthrough battery receptacle, but a foreign spy sabotages the demonstration, killing several and injuring Traeger

3. BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT — Traeger suspects industrial espionage and government conspiracy as he is arrested and his equipment confiscated, and he vows to gain enough power to force entrenched interests into submission so he can implement his technology and achieve vindication

4. FIRST TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT ONE — An American actress/environmental activist/influencer Imelyna who had attended Traeger’s demonstration believes in Traeger and his ability to end global warming, and she orchestrates his release from jail, and he decides to accept her invitation to relocate and pursue his technology with her backing

5. MID-POINT — Traeger’s hugely successful business has made him a tycoon, but the government keeps throwing obstacles at him to stall his progress blocking all normal commercial business avenues to build out his technology, so a frustrated Traeger realizes that doing things legally isn’t going to achieve success, so he decides to pursue the same goal in a new way…as a villain, and he uses criminal enterprise to continue his mission

6. SECOND TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT TWO — Derek the spy completely destroys Traeger’s lair, his masterplan is a failure as the control room is inoperable and he is unable to communicate/control his solar technology SunBolt in space, it looks like all hope is lost, Traeger descends into megalomania as he lays injured and trapped under debris

7. CRISIS — Imelyna finds Traeger, he forgives her for betraying him and their cause, he apologizes for failing, she says it’s not too late and gets an idea that he take the rocket to the space station where he can operate SunBolt and prove once and for all that his technology works, she frees him and gives him the codes, Derek the spy enters and Traeger shoots/wounds Imelyna to distract Derek so he can escape

8. CLIMAX — In the space station Traeger demonstrates SunBolt, and POTUS congratulate him for saving the world from global warming, Traeger is pulled out of his delusion by radar alerts of launching nuclear missiles, POTUS is actually berating Traeger for putting a hole a mile deep into the ground, Traeger accuses POTUS of having the spy sabotage the battery receptacle just like he did a decade before, POTUS admits responsibility, louder proximity alerts, Traeger adjusts SunBolt to create a wide beam that burns the incoming missile guidance systems rendering them aimless, Traeger is overcome with self-righteous indignation and turns SunBolt into a weapon of mass destruction and blasts the white house ending the call, then he completely annihilates earth

9. RESOLUTION — Realizing the ramifications, “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.”, Traeger alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the moon to smithereens, “Fuck it.”

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Necessary Questions

What I’ve learned: I’m liking the format of the ProSeries so far. This process of incremental development feels good so far. I like the systematic probing of the idea, tactically approaching it from targeted angles, producing productive brainstorming. Each exercise feels like it’s honing in on the essence, helping to clarify and define the fundamental building blocks of the movie. And the order of the exercises feels constructive.

ASSIGNMENT — Answer the 4 necessary questions.

a. Concept: Think James Bond supervillain…the entire movie from the supervillain’s POV, and it’s his complete story, from origin story to tragedy, so in addition to his initial victimhood and need for vindication, we’re witnessing/seeing his growth to tycoon and evolution into supervillain, his creation of the masterplan, cat and mouse with a government spy, and the very very real threat of planetary annihilation unless they let him rule the world…oh and the spy fails to stop him this time.

b. Dramatic Question: (3 lengths) Will Traeger the supervillain win? Can Traeger the underdog overcome the greedy evil world governments? Can Traeger become powerful enough to force the greedy world governments into submission so he can implement his world saving solar energy system technology?

c. Main conflict: Traeger keeps trying different ways to develop and build his revolutionary energy system, but the governments of the world who want to preserve the status quo keep throwing obstacles into his way to prevent him, which leads to the dramatic question: can Traeger become powerful enough to force the greedy world governments into submission so he can implement his world saving solar energy system technology?

d. Dilemma: Traeger has to choose between being an unsuccessful good person or a successful supervillain.

e. Theme: Corporate/government greed destroys everything in its wake

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Dramatic Plots 1 – Part Two

What I learned doing this is…? Each of the 4 plots I chose focus on different angles of the story, with Revenge and Underdog feeling more action and thriller oriented, and Wretched Excess and Ascension/Descension feeling more psychological. It seems harmonious and fortuitous as I envisioned early on to write this movie as a Psychological Thriller. So even if I pick only one plot to use as my guidelines and guide rails, I think I can borrow the brainstorming from the other plots I used and add some depth to my lead characters. When I was pitching people my 10 concepts, a repeated concern I heard for Megalomaniac was worrying that the main character wouldn’t be “likable” so why would be anyone root for him to succeed. They hoped he would be sympathetic/empathetic enough to garner their support. Audiences love an Underdog, so I am leaning towards making that plot my choice.

ASSIGNMENT – Select two plots that could work for your story and write a logline/paragraph synopsis for each one.

Concept: Think James Bond supervillain…the entire movie from the supervillain’s POV, and it’s his complete story, from origin story to tragedy, so in addition to initial victimhood and need for revenge, we’re witnessing his growth to tycoon and evolution into supervillain, his creation of the masterplan, cat and mouse with a government spy, and the very very real threat of planetary annihilation unless they let him rule the world…oh and the spy fails to stop him this time.

18. Wretched Excess – the psychological decline of a character, based around a character flaw, that evokes sympathy. Every action of the plot relates to character, exposing more and more of who this person is and why this decline is happening.

Traeger has the psychopathological condition megalomania, characterized by his delusions of grandeur, and expressed by his obsession with growing his own power. Playing with his archaeologist father’s magnifying glass as a kid, he plays god smiting ants by concentrating the sunlight with his magnifying lens onto the ants to start a fire (solar ignition) and pretends to be god or superman with x-ray vision (but perhaps he wasn’t really pretending). As a young man, when his research experiment was sabotaged by the government, it triggers the start of successive deterioration of his attachment from reality, with him becoming more and more obsessed with growing his own power and more paranoid that his obstacles are part of a sinister plot to keep him down (which is true). Marking his complete transformation into a supervillain, he is completely enthralled with his own self-importance, conceit, egotism. And when he is playing cat and mouse with the government spy who is interfering with the implementation of his masterplan, the spy calls him out for his delusional fantasies of wealth and power, except Traeger has snarky replies for everything. And when events reach a crisis point – he believes he is as powerful as all the countries in the world combined, and that he has leverage and righteousness on his side. In the end, with nuclear missiles heading in his direction trying to blow him and his space station into smithereens, the gall of the governments so blatantly trying to assassinate him, he gives in completely to his megalomania flaw (how dare they!) – he plays god almighty, with complete omnipotence, he turns his system of space solar magnifiers into a solar ignition laser with the power of god. Adjusting the series of football field size magnifying lenses to concentrate the sunlight into a narrow beam onto the planet, with solar ignition he slices off a polar cap, then scorched earth writes “MINE” on earth as it rotates, then slices the earth in half along the equator, completely annihilating earth. “I’m not fucking crazy, I was right, I am god.” (tragedy)

19. Ascension and 20. Descension – the rise/fall of the protagonist, both if you’re an anti-hero???

This plot revolves around young scientist Traeger, a progressive but rash upstart megalomaniac. He is the Sun, always the center of his own universe. As he becomes a supervillain, he is truly compelling, strong, strong-willed, charismatic, and unique. He believes in himself, he believes his intentions pure, his mission paramount, will stop at nothing, and thus his means justified. At the heart of the story is a moral dilemma of whether he should use his power to save a world not worth saving. While he desires to stop global warming, it frustrates him that the world is controlled by special interests and greedy politicians who betray the welfare of people for their own greed and power. That is why he must take over and rule the world. He needs to ascend to rule like an almighty god. There are rises and falls along the way that test his character, but he has the fortitude and wherewithal to keep overcoming all the various obstacles thrown his way, and his growing power is the foundational support that allows for the transformative change of his character. Of course, when his lair is being bombed and his minions in chaos, he walks around as if he is invisible to harm, impervious to bullets, and inevitable to win. He even forgives Imelyna’s disloyalty because he believes himself a fully evolved human, with the capacity for unlimited love. He loves all of mankind. He will save the world. Of course, fully transformed into a god (in his mind) he will smite all of mankind and destroy earth.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Dramatic Plots 1

What I learned: I’ve always heard there were a limited number of plots — 36, 10, 20, 7. There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. For me, having plot guidelines sparks ideas, doesn’t constrain/inhibit them.

ASSIGNMENT – select two plots that could work for your story and write a logline/paragraph synopsis for each one.

6. Revenge – hero has a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against the antagonist

Traeger the scientist is demonstrating a key research breakthrough that will be part of a revolutionary energy system, but has an experiment catastrophe, which disfigures him and causes investors to pull the plug on the project. Traeger discovers that there was sabotage by foreign governments, and he becomes filled with a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against them. With the help of his new girlfriend Imelyna who instills her fight global warming ideology in him, Traeger commercializes a smaller aspect of his technology to start amassing wealth in order to build his power. As he continues to further the commercialization of pieces of his technology, entrenched oil interests lobby governments to hinder his progress with regulations, lawsuits, interference, sabotage, hacking, stolen IP, and lies. As he becomes even more disillusioned with how the world works, he abandons normal channels that aren’t working and pursues the devious methods of a supervillain, including gaining ill-gotten money and taking power by force. Though his intentions are honorable as he just wants the world to adopt his advanced energy technology to combat global warming, Traeger develops a masterplan for vindication of his energy system and revenge against governments by coerced overthrow, but first he has to elude being captured and killed by a government spy Derek. The spy wreaks havoc with Traeger’s operations, causing apparent failure of his plan, but with the help of Imelyna he is able to improvise one last attempt at vindication. But, losing his self-control after continued government defiance and attempted murder, Traeger achieves final revenge by using his energy system as a weapon, destroying the governments and the very world it governs.

9. Underdog – protagonist against the antagonist in a power struggle, except the antagonist has the advantage.

Traeger (protagonist) is an young researcher on the precipice of a research breakthrough that will be part of a revolutionary energy system that will upend the world’s current entrenched interests, including conglomerates, oligarchs, and governments (antagonists). The antagonists clearly has much greater power than the lone lowly protagonist, but they identified the protagonist as a threat and instigate the action by sabotaging Traeger’s efforts by causing an experiment catastrophe, which disfigures him, causes investors to pull the plug on the project, and sets his research back by a decade, which ensures the governments’ continued economic might. But when Traeger discovers their sabotage, instead of being dissuaded from continuing, it backfires as he gains moral superiority over the antagonist, and it drives him to work hard to defeat the antagonist, and he becomes filled with a moral justification for vengeance and seeks retaliation against them. With the help of his new girlfriend Imelyna who instills and radicalizes within him the fight global warming ideology in him, Traeger commercializes smaller aspects of his technology to start amassing wealth in order to build his power. As Traeger the underdog’s power increases, his business ventures continually face antagonist/government obstacles including regulations, lawsuits, interference, sabotage, hacking, stolen IP, and lies. Because Traeger is fighting an uphill battle against ruthless, immoral government/antagonists, he feels moral superiority and self-righteous indignation, and rationalizes that he tried creating change the right way, so now he’s entitled to bend the rules and do it the wrong way. Traeger becomes disillusioned with how the world works, and believes he, alone, can fix it, and so he abandons normal channels that aren’t working, and pursues the devious methods of a supervillain, including criminal enterprise and taking power by force/murder. His ultimate goal and intentions remain honorable as he just wants the world to adopt his advanced energy technology to reverse global warming, however Traeger develops a masterplan to give himself finally the upper hand over the antagonists so he can achieve vindication for his revolutionary energy system and get revenge against the governments by coercing their overthrow. He has gained enough power to become, at least in his mind, an equal adversary. And, of course, as the antagonist recognizes that the Traeger the supervillain’s power is formidable, and feels the threat to their power is real, they send Derek the spy to investigate Traeger, to stop whatever he’s planning, and to assassinate him if necessary. The spy wreaks havoc with Traeger’s operations, causing apparent failure of his plan, and Traeger’s power is seemingly crippled. However, with the help of Imelyna, Traeger is able to improvise one last attempt to prove his superiority. But, losing his self-control after continued government defiance and attempted assassination, Traeger achieves final revenge and world domination by using his energy system as a weapon and beating/destroying the governments and the very world it governs.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz Character Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is Screenwriting is both an art…and a science. You still have to come up with the creative goods, but having a structure and process to lean into…is both comforting and emboldening. For me, it’s pointing my creativity in a practical direction.

1. Concept: Think James Bond supervillain…the entire movie from the supervillain’s POV, and it’s his complete story, from origin story to tragedy, so in addition to initial victimhood and need for revenge, we’re witnessing his growth to tycoon and evolution into supervillain, his creation of the masterplan, cat and mouse with a government spy, and the very very real threat of planetary annihilation unless they let him rule the world…oh and the spy fails to stop him this time.

2. Character Structure is a Dramatic Triangle between the supervillain, his girlfriend, and the spy, with Traeger the supervillain owing his success to the love and support of Imelyna, however unbeknownst to him, Derek the spy, who is trying to ruin Traeger’s plans, is also attempting to turn Imelyna against him.

3. One sentence for each of the lead characters:

My protagonist is scientist Traeger who develops into a supervillain seeking to prove by whatever means necessary that his solar energy system will cleanly and sustainably power the entire planet.

Imelyna is Traeger’s girlfriend, and she is an actor/environmental activist who believes in Traeger and supports his cause/mission.

My antagonist is Derek Montoya who is a government spy investigating Traeger, and he woos Imelyna to make her an asset.

4. Character structure playing out:

Scientist Traeger meets actor/environmental activist Imelyna early on as she is reporting on his breakthrough experiment for social media, and she is impressed by his passion and brilliance, and she helps him physically and emotionally recover after his unfortunate research accident. They fall in love, and she helps him bounce back as he adopts her ideology, and she guides his transformation into a charitable tycoon doing good for the world with his solar energy technology. However, when he moves towards becoming a supervillain, using evil means to progress their agenda, she becomes concerned, and when Derek the spy charms her, she becomes conflicted. Traeger and Derek play cat and mouse, with Traeger baffled by how Derek seems prescient, always finding Traeger’s lair. With his plans going awry and lairs being destroyed, Traeger becomes suspicious and sets up Imelyna and discovers her disloyalty. Amidst bombs exploding and the compound on fire, Imelyna admits to Traeger that she can’t control her feelings for Derek the spy. But that she still loves Traeger too. In a pivotal twist, Traeger doesn’t kill her. In fact he knows he’s probably going to die anyway, so he thanks her for all the years of loving support, and he forgives her betrayal, and is willing to let her go be with Derek the spy because he wants her to be happy. Imelyna appreciates his heart of gold, and she says goodbye, and gives him one key piece of information that allows him one last desperate attempt to make his plan work. She also gives him time to escape the spy. Derek is too late, and as he communicates with the President, he and Imelyna watch Traeger escape, blasting into space in a rocket.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by  Michael Katz.

[Michael Katz]

What I learned from the Opening Teleconference

I really like the idea of building a healthy identity. I will no longer refer to myself as a struggling writer. Maybe…perhaps…after this class…burgeoning writer on the precipice of greatness!

I had understood the notions of writing skills and writing talent, but I never thought of it as a skillset, especially one containing 300 skills.

I like the concept of turning in every assignment, no matter how bad, so that it teaches you to make deadlines, and the repetition gets you used to putting your stuff out there.

When watching films and TV shows, instead of finding the faults…I think it is very smart to focus on the things that did work…and learn that skill.

I learned the reason why I have never completed any of my feature scripts: tho I had heard many times…don’t get it right, get it written…I’ve always instead chosen The Hard Way: writing my first draft as if it’s my final draft, trying to be perfect((( Editing, rewriting, getting bogged down in an area I couldn’t solve. Frustration stopping my momentum. I will instead just apply the lesson and get it written. And I have given myself permission to write a crap first draft.

The Easy Way drafts breakdown is very smart and practical. Logical progression, achievable steps.

The Development Process: also smart and practical. Intervals could be a game changer for me.

I have been guilty of giving excessive notes to producers, one producer even complaining to my boss (not the quality of notes mind you, just the quantity!). The thought of having a note and not giving it…will be a challenge! But I see the irony: intending to help but excessive feedback shutting people down and reducing their creativity. So I will be especially mindful in this area.

Those are my big takeaways)

[Michael Katz]

Hi classmates, ntmu, my name is Michael Katz.

I am beginner level. Though I have taken several writing courses, including McKee and Freeman, and purchased several software programs, including Dramatica and Save The Cat, I have yet to complete an entire feature script((( I have written 1 TV drama spec pilot. I have experience as a television executive, having worked in scripted and reality show development at NBC and FremantleMedia. I’ve had a few reality shows optioned. Now I am a freelance writer, my latest gig as a book editor.

My lofty goals for this class are to complete a commercially viable script, and then sell it shortly thereafter!

From philadelphia, love philly sports, I like sushi and chicken and waffles equally much, we have 2 Australian Labradoodles, and I make enough money to live in LA by trading stocks.

[Michael Katz]

Michael Katz

I agree to the terms of this release form:

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Michael Katz]

Hi Antonio,

I love your concept, and for a first draft you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Rereading my notes, though, they may come across a little too direct but please don’t take that in a negative way. It’s just unfiltered stream of consciousness, and food for thought for your second draft.

Antonio Flores Ready for Critique!

//////// VERSION 3 \\\\\\\\

OVERALL: — so I am left confused, by page 10 I don’t understand the world, the evil plan, what’s going on, the stakes, the goal other than she wants him back, the players, the rules, the reader will become impatient if you don’t clearly explain what’s going on, this is a MMA movie so there’s no need to be overly clever with the plot, just give us the evil plan, other than her working out, you need a scene that establishes your main character’s normal life and the personal problem she is having, hope I didn’t misunderstand Vanishes, but I hope he did vanish from the cage. If so, then cool! And it sets up the new world that she’s going to go to. I don’t think the first 2 scenes are appropriate for your opening. This is a MMA world movie and you must open with a MMA match. I pitched you something below that I believe you already have that works better for the opening.

Feature title: The Girl Inside the Fighting Cage — off the bat I wonder about using “girl”, what about something with a little more jazz like Don’t Try To Rattle Her Cage/Don’t Rattle Her Cage – that’s a juicy winner

Synopsis: When a prizefighter disappears, his faithful girlfriend embarks in a dangerous journey through the underground MMA world, where she meets deadly challenges, and fights for him to the end. — faithful is understood as she is his girlfriend, you would only say unfaithful if that were the issue, here the adjective should be the thing about her that needs to change

FADE IN:

EXT. NEW YORK – UNDERGROUND CAGE NEARBY ALLEY – NIGHT — this doesn’t read clearly, are you in an alley, is this where the cage is, why nearby?, maybe it’s just DARK ALLEY, we get it

A dark, grungy alley. — you just said above it was an alley so shouldn’t repeat word, say it another way or describe what’s in it or delete

==============================

SUPERIMPOSE: NEW YORK, 9:00 PM — not 3am?

==============================

BAHADUR, 29, an underground, up and coming MMA fighter known as the PERSIAN WARRIOR, hides in the shadows.

In the octogon or in desert streets of Afghanistan, this 250lbs [noun] of hardened steel is afraid of nothing.

But, here, now, he crouches fearfully, back pressed against the cold, slimy brick wall, trying to catch his breath.

Amp up the introductory character description and intensify his emotion

He looks left and right — the coast is clear/empty. He darts through the narrow path.

A MAN IN A MAROON CLOAK suddenly exits a small door and accidentally bumps him to ground and keeps walking.

On his back, Bahadur winces at the STINGING PAIN. He looks at the sleeve of his jacket and sees A BLEEDING CUT.

IF YOU STOP HERE, IT LOOKS TO ME INCOMPLETE, SINCE YOU HAVEN’T Introduced any real threat, USUALLY AS SOON AS SOMEONE LETS THEIR GUARD DOWN THE THREAT POUNCES or at least we see the victim’s face with a reaction to the oncoming threat, at the end of the scene there has to be something intriguing and original, especially on page 1

INT. FRANCE — PARISA’S HOME BASEMENT — NIGHT — IMPRESSIVE/MAKESHIFT HOME GYM (don’t need her name)

Don’t you want to start with Parisa already in the middle of an impressive work out?

Give us her character description

Then when she finishes…she adds sticky tape

But even so…bottom of page 1 needs something captivating/inventive so we turn the page

A gloomy, scruffy fitness room.

A TREADMILL docked in a sea of trash. Its control panel glows in the dark.

==============================

SUPERIMPOSE: PARIS, 3:30 AM — 5am workout makes her fierce and disciplined (if you want that)

==============================

A door opens. A FEMALE VOICE croons a song about BREAKUP.

A Tungsten lamp lights up over the treadmill.

PICTURES ON THE WALL show clippings of PARISA NEDELLEC, French, mid-20’s, she could have been a a former beauty queen and trophied cheerleader. – go extreme

An old piece of sticky tape has mostly given up on its mission to cover the phrase…

“MOM AND DAD’S MASTERPIECE“

engraved on a frame with a picture of her as a child.

Dressed in dark color skintight action-wear, Parisa’ slim, athletic silhouette approaches the…

PICTURE FRAME

She replaces the old sticky tape with a new one, and gives it a quick rub to make sure it stays. — so this is sweet but doesn’t do what you need to accomplish on page 1

============ end of page 1==============

Parisa climbs on the treadmill. Her strong yet delicate hand pushes START and… BUZZ! A burst of electric current signals the reluctant awakening of the monster.

PARISA

Sorry, old friend. I can’t get to sleep tonight, so neither can you. — I need you to try to keep up. – interesting dialogue

She quickly wipes off her tears with her calloused fingers. So her…

KNOWLEDGEABLE EYES — what does this mean? delete

can focus on the console and push the…

UP ARROWS

FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) (whispering reverberation)

Higher… Higher… Excellence…

PICTURES ON THE WALL

echo the shouts and applause from yesterday’s award ceremonies.

The DISTANCE, SPEED digits on the control panel roll up fast. All set for high standards.

FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) (crooning)

“Show me miles and miles.

Make me feel I’m reaching.

Say we’re going far away

while I’m here, stuck

in the same old place.”

She clears off some more tears. A deep breath helps her swallow the pain.

Wireless earphones in place, Parisa drops her cellphone into the console’s deck.

Motion starts. The beast utters a loud cry. SHRIEEEK ! ! !

It’s a flywheel that begs for maintenance or, perhaps, just the first chord of an electric guitar from a HEAVY BEAT SONG. — better for the book, delete, just action and dialogue

Parisa builds up speed. Slows down. Non-stop, she adds Thai-boxing moves: Jab-jab. Block. Uppercut. Jab-jab. Grab-pull-knee-thrust.

The treadmill monster GROANS ! ! ! — imo this is a lot a page dedicated to the workout, while an emotional woman exercising is fine, there is nothing happening plot wise for over a page, so the reader’s patience will be tested

============ end of page 2==============

INT. NEW YORK – UNDERGROUND CAGE – CROWD AREA – NIGHT — is underground cage a place? or don’t they move the cages to different locations on different nights? the locations are just the places, WAREHOUSE/PARKING LOT/TUNNEL/UNDER A BRIDGE etc. then in the description briefly say how things are laid out, too many details are unimportant, the reader will get it

An abandoned storage turned into MMA fighting arena.

ROARS of the action-thirsty horde evince nothing less than madness. Tobacco smoke fills the air.

==============================

SUPERIMPOSE: NEW YORK, 9:30 PM

==============================

Right in the middle of the area, men with muscled physiques Giant men wear black SECURITY T-shirts. They guard the…

OCTAGON CAGE

Two prizefighters in brief skintight trunks, RED GLOVES and BLUE GLOVES burst into savage kick-punch action.

Blue’s frustration grows when all his punches land on Red’s gloves with more accuracy than a pad training partner. Then he THRUSTS Red into the cage wall with a sudden spin and kick to the plexus.

As Red bounces back, Blue DRILLS his fist twice into the opponent’s face. Red STUMBLES. Moves back. The cheers get even LOUDER!

But Red strikes back. He BENDS BLUE IN HALF with a side kick and PINS him down with a loud THUD! Blue can’t get up.

Some in the crowd disapprove. Cheers turn into whistles. Now Red Gloves and the audience SWEAR. YELL. POINT FINGERS at each other. BOOING floods the house. Security get assault-shields ready to contain a full-house brawl. — it’s unclear, did red cheat? are you trying to make the distinction that underground has no rules? I’m not following your intention

UNDERGROUND CAGE – BACKSTAGE

Darkness. A dilapidated room with a broken table and chair.

A faint of light spills into the room through door cracks. — so this is an action movie, “faint of light” feels off, a single bare lightbulb or a flickering fluorescent fixture

Bahadur sits with his back towards the door. He leans on the table, head buried in his arms. — what’s he wearing? shirtless with tights? can we see his cut bandaged? or stitched? or healed? or scarred? – gives us a sense of time in captivity, OK I realize you are going for mood and my questions are answered below, but suggest you just get to the action with less focus on setting the mood in each scene, one line to atmosphere, then get to it

Someone insistently knocks on the door.

The door knob shakes. It’s locked from inside. The anxious knocking turns into pounding. — he’s allowed to lock the door???

Bahadur grunts in pain. Behind him, the door breaks open.

============ end of page 3==============

A confused MMA manager, SYLVAN “POPS” NEDELLEC, 47, a flamboyant French stout, enters the room and blindly looks for the light switch. He is Parisa’s uncle.

SYLVAIN

Hey, you here? Where’s the damn—

Sylvain finds the switch. Turns on a cruddy lamp. Bahadur winces and covers his eyes.

SYLVAIN (CONT’D)

Ha! Gotcha! C’mon, c’mon. This’ no time to play hide-n-seek. Gotta go out kick butts, mon cher ami.

Sylvain helps Bahadur to stand up. The sinewy, bare-torso fighter totters, supports himself on the chair. He wears orange long slack action trousers and light foot gear.

SYLVAIN (CONT’D)

What’s wrong, kid? Went missing for a couple of days. No calls. Are you- — TWIST!!! but confusing

Bahadur coughs, wheezes. He gently rubs the cut on his arm.

SYLVAIN (CONT’D)

This is not good. Not now. Mom’s hospital bills are sucking your savings. You think you could…

Bahadur nods. Starts for the door. The fighter’s mask is left on the table.

SYLVAIN (CONT’D) Wonderful! That’s my kid! Oh my— (picks UP the mask) Here, here. Don’t forget to wear your mask, mon ami.

UNDERGROUND CAGE – CROWD AREA

Bet solicitors flash laser-pointers at the bursting crowd and take their money.

One of them, FRED CORNER, late 40’s, sits on a box, fast talking a group, holding court. Buy this a guy a drink and you’ll learn about the latest CIA conspiracy theory that’s probably 90% accurate. talkative, knows everything about urban legends. If you buy him a drink, he can prove to be the best informed about the latest conspiracy or CIA’s next move.

FRED

Think profits, think profits! Lay down a chill for a six-pack! Put a six-pack for a keg! Think profits!

============ end of page 4==============

A MAN IN A MAROON CLOAK passes by Fred towards the cage. His gray-bearded face is partially covered by the cloak hood.

FRED (CONT’D) (to the maroon cloak man)

Hey, Father! Father! Wanna lay down something here? Father, hey!

Maroon Cloak walks on. He turns deaf ears to Fred. — 1 clean sentence like He ignores him and continues walking.

FRED (CONT’D)

Lemme be your investment adviser! Hey, Father! Think profits! — delete, redundant

BACKSTAGE HALLWAY

A filthy passageway poorly lit by cruddy neon lamps.

Light from the gate at the end of the passage shows the silhouettes of Bahadur and Sylvain walking through puddles.

Bahadur totters the path with his arm over Sylvain shoulders.

ARENA GATE

Before crossing the gate, Sylvain fits the Persian Warrior mask on Bahadur, who now looks like a blazed up Middle East ninja.

SYLVAIN

OK. Stand behind me. Put your hands on my shoulders and walk with me. — is this the first time they’ve done this? if not, need interesting dialogue

CROWD AREA BY THE CAGE

Standing on the opposite side of the access gate, Maroon Cloak raises his unnaturally pale hand.

Security guards shove people. They make a path for SHAHNAZ, a massive, muscle-packed fighter to walk to the cage.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.) (through amps)

Hey-hey-hey! Coming from the Middle East underground fighting world… This is the Ruler’s favorite! The most lethal of all… SHAHNAZ! — are they not in the US? remind us we’re in NY?

Recklessness surge. Bets flow as the giant fighter slowly steps through the mob and into the cage. — Recklessness surge – what does that mean? delete

============ end of page 5==============

CROWD AREA AT ARENA GATE

Sylvain, Bahadur enter the arena.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.) (through amps)

And who’s gonna face our guest? I cannot find a better man than our undefeated king of the underground cage! Let’s give it all for… THE PERSIAN WARRIOR! — it’s confusing what makes it underground, and is he a star?

Spotlights hurt Bahadur’s eyes. He winces. Closes his eyes. Blindly trudges through the crowd. Sylvain leads the way. — and why is he so out of it?

CAGE PATH – FANS TUNNEL

Fans line up on both sides of the path. Each joins hands with another on the opposite side. Make a tunnel leading Bahadur, Sylvain to the cage.

SYLVAIN

You always stand a better chance against one man inside the cage, than against an angry mob that has laid their money on you. You know? — a good thought to say after a match, there’s no angry mob now

Bets flow. Pats on the back. Loud cheers throughout the way.

CAGE ACCESS GATE

Bahadur, Sylvain reach the cage. Bahadur takes deep breaths. Sylvain goes to check the cage inside.

SYLVAIN’S POV

Shahnaz flexes his muscles. Speed shadow-jabs. GROWLS like a wild animal. Threatens the audience.

BACK TO SCENE:

Sylvain stands aghast. Turns around. Tries to stop Bahadur from looking at the giant inside the cage.

SYLVAIN

Second thought, uh, I guess we could take our chances with the mob. How fast can you run? — what was sylvain expecting? he obviously knows the ropes, knows where he is, knows the risks, it’s a strange response since he needs the money, what other choices could you make for him?

============ end of page 6==============

Bahadur nudges him aside. Grabs the frame of the gate. Throws himself inside.

BAHADUR

Gotta finish this, Pops!

Security guards quickly lock up the gate.

INSIDE THE CAGE

The two fighters stand face to face.

The David-Goliath contrast makes the audience burst in madness.

CAGE ACCESS GATE

Sylvain frantically bangs on the cage. Guards ignore him.

SYLVAIN

Listen, guys. We must stop this! Just open the gate! Let him out!

Guards utter no sound.

SYLVAIN (CONT’D)

OK, OK. Gimme a towel that I can throw. C’mon, just gimme a towel. You’ve towels ’round here, uh?

GUARD ONE

Sir. We ain’t got no towels. A match is over when it’s over.

SYLVAIN

B-but the rules—

GUARD ONE

There’s only one rule: DON’T RUN AWAY – FIGHT ! ! !

SYLVAN (mumbles along)

Don’t run away – FIGHT ! Oh, mon Dieu!

Sylvain’s expression fills with fear and despair as he realizes his mistake. He covers his face with both hands.

INSIDE THE CAGE

Bahadur RUNS towards, STEPS on, JUMPS off the cage wall and into a Parkour SIDE FLIP.

============ end of page 7==============

Before landing, his two legs DRILL into Shahnaz face. Then, he DASHES, SKIDS into the giant’s knees, TRIPS him, makes him BITE the canvas. The audience ROARS as he quickly transitions into leg submission.

OPPONENT CORNER

Maroon Cloak stands outside the cage. He holds…

A DAGGER

More than half of THE BLADE has changed into BLOOD-RED COLOR.

INSIDE THE CAGE

Shahnaz GROANS in pain, but does not concede the fight.

Bahadur feels weak. He glances at the SCRATCH on his arm, then at the man in Maroon Cloak holding the DAGGER.

———————————

BAHADUR POV

Maroon Cloak’s hoodie partially covers his face. He sneers and then, in silence, his lips pronounce a word: POISON

BACK TO THE CAGE

———————————

Bahadur presses harder on Shahnaz leg, but his strength fades away.

As the transformation of the DAGGER BLADE advances, Bahadur gets weaker. Softens. Can’t go on. His arms free Shahnaz leg. Then, finally, VANISHES. — not written clearly, did Bahadur vanish from the cage? he vanishes?

Now the BLADE shines BLOOD-RED COLOR from hilt to tip. — move this line up 1

CROWD AREA

The audience whistles at the second upset of the night. A big brawl erupts. Security, paramedics swarm into the place.

OK, here’s the pitch: lose the first 2 scenes, the scene above is the opening of the film, this is a MMA film with no MMA scene in the beginning to establish the subject matter and the world we are in, an alley abduction and a workout scene are cliche and will not cause a reader to become interested, however…starting with a MMA match where one of the fighters disappears because of mysticism — well that’s new!, the cut occurs as Bahadur is walking with Sylvain toward the ring and Maroon jabs him as he’s walking by, you can’t have an abduction on page 1 and second abduction here, no logic to it, also there has to be logic as to why maroon does this during a match, and he should place a wager with Fred that Shahnaz would be the last man standing in the ring, so the rule to win a match which should be announced by the ring announcer is that the last man standing in the ring is the winner, as well as you lose if you leave the ring which of course disappearing qualifies, have the ring announcer proclaim the winner, the crowd goes stunned silent when he vanishes, then apoplectic, Sylvain hides under the stage, have Maroon collect his winnings, and now you have an action packed intriguing film opening! where did he go? why did Maroon abduct him, what’s his girlfriend going to do? and how?

INT. FRANCE — PARISA’S HOME BASEMENT — NIGHT

Parisa’ sneakers pound on the treadmill band.

Cellphone vibrates. LOUD ELECTRONIC MUSIC muffles the ringer.

============ end of page 8==============

———————————

ON PARISA’S CELLPHONE SCREEN

Sylvain’s text preview: “I’m sorry. He’s gone. They took him”.

BACK TO PARISA

———————————

WHAM! Parisa slams the treadmill’s emergency stop.

=========================

A WAY TO FIND HIM – MONTAGE

=========================

— PARISA’S HOME – STAIRS

— Parisa runs upstairs.

PARISA (V.O.)

How long ago?

SYLVAIN (V.O.) (through cellphone)

After the fight. Somebody doped him. Got beaten. Never got to the hospital. — that’s kind of not giving the full situation, how does she understand from that the situation?

— PARISA’S BEDROOM

— Parisa pulls her secret coffer from underneath her bed.

— She nervously handles the keys. Opens the coffer’s lock.

— Frantically searches for something.

PARISA (V.O.)

A-and you? Are you okay, Pops?

— She searches a concealed section of the coffer.

— Removes a small envelope with money and a box.

SYLVAIN (V.O.) (through cellphone)

Oui, yah. I’m just curious ‘cos you said that if ever, uh, I mean… How did you know this could ever happen?

FEMALE VOICE (V.O.)(whispering reverberation)

YOU. KNEW. THIS. YOU. KNEW. IT.

============ end of page 9==============

PARISA (V.O.)

Don’t know. Is kind of… like some, uh, voices, uh, I… just forget it… I MUST find him, Pops! Help me! Please, help me!

SYLVAIN (V.O.) (through cellphone)

You know you can count with me.

PARISA (V.O.)

Merci, merci! Uh, is mom…

SYLVAIN (V.O.) (through cellphone)

Oui, yah. Bills keep coming. Don’t worry. I’ll think up something.

— Parisa opens the box. Pulls a Middle East style PENDANT

— She unlatches it. It opens like a pocket watch. GLOWS.

— She looks inside the pendant.

MALE VOICE (V.O.)(whispering reverberation)

Break up… Gotta break up or she will die… THEY. WILL. KILL. HER. — who her? a little too cryptic

— Her eyes widen. She fastens the pendant in a blink.

SYLVAIN (V.O.) (CONT’D) (through cellphone)

Hello? Hello? Are you still there?

PARISA (V.O.)

Oui, oui. Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you when I land in New York.

SYLVAIN (V.O.) (through cellphone)

Oui, oui. Be careful, will you? Those bastards—

— PARISA’S HOME ENTRANCE – DUSK

— She leaves the house with a carelessly strapped backpack on her shoulder.

PARISA (V.O.)

I know, I know. Take care, Pops.

END OF MONTAGE

[Michael Katz]

Hi Antonio,

Do we still have a day left to do this?

I could use another critique if you want to exchange.

Let me know and I’ll upload my Version 2.

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Antonio,

Great, thank you)

I’m posting mine here so easier to find.

Will do yours tonight.

Michael Katz Version 2

MEGALOMANIAC

PREMISE — The complete story of a James Bond type villain.

HOOK — Entirely from the villain’s POV.

TWIST — The villain is the hero…the spy the villain.

EXT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – BACKYARD OF A HOUSE – DAY

A boy’s fingers hold a pair of coke-bottle eyeglasses, it’s lens magnifying a splinter stuck deep into a cat’s paw. The cat hisses in pain.

WALDO (O.S.)

Ouchie, Mr. Pudding Cat. Crazy, one little prick…stops the world.

The magnified eye of adorable 10-year-old WALDO KATZ takes up half his face.

WALDO (CONT’D)

But I can help!

Kneeling, Waldo gently pulls the splinter out with tweezers.

WALDO (CONT’D)

I wrote you a prescription: look before you leap.

The relieved cat licks his paw, then springs into a bush.

Waldo notices a tiny plume of smoke rising before his eyes. He looks down and sees a lens converting sunlight into a concentrated sunbeam that’s burning a dried, withered leaf.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Whoa!

Waldo repositions, laying stomach down on the ground.

Playing with the angle and distance of the lens to the leaf, he uses solar ignition to generate a tiny flame.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Cool!

An ant meanders into the sunbeam and fries to death.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Oh, god, no! Poor little ant!

Waldo weeps, guilt ridden.

EXT. SPACE

The familiar view of Earth.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

We’re headed towards armageddon. It’s inevitable.

END OF PAGE 1

INT. COAL MINE

Dirty men mine coal.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

Depletion of Earth’s natural resources.

EXT. OIL FIELD – DAY

Dirty men attend to a spouting oil well.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

Environmental disasters.

EXT. ICE SHELF – DAY

A giant slice collapses, causing a mini tidal wave that speeds toward a family of polar bears on sea ice.

FEMALE NARRATOR (V.O.)

Global warming.

EXT. BEACH – DAY

A beautiful Swedish bombshell sunbathes in a sexy bikini. She opens her eyes. She is the Female Narrator.

BOMBSHELL

What if there was a way to produce clean energy, cheaply and sustainably, without harming the planet?

The bombshell looks up at the sun and basks in the sunlight.

EXT. SPACE

The familiar view of the Sun.

The silhouette of a long, vertical space station flies across the sun like E.T. across the moon.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Katz Space Solar.

Sunlight reveals that the middle of the space station in made up of a column of 10 humongous magnifying lenses.

INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT – BACKROOM – MORNING

We continue watching the computer simulation on a TV monitor on a desk in a dim room.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Harnessing the sun will free the world from fossil fuels.

A fleet of thousands of mirrors in space reflect the sun into a receiver at the top of the space station.

A beam of light grows brighter and thicker as it travels down through each of the successive magnifying lenses.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

All the energy the world will ever need.

Mr. Ratliff, an American businessman, sits watching the video.

A monstrous and continuous beam shoots out from the bottom of the space station to Earth and is absorbed by a giant Tesla coil attached to a skyscraper peeking through the clouds.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Clean. Safe. Sustainable.

Under the clouds an utopian nighttime cityscape lights up spectacularly. The title “KATZ SPACE SOLAR” ends the video.

BOMBSHELL (V.O.)

Katz Space Solar.

Ratliff excitedly jumps off his chair and flicks on the light switch, revealing his bright smile.

RATLIFF

(Southern accent)

And god said, “Let there be light!” Waldo, I love it!

Now a serious scientist and handsome adult, 40-year-old WALDO KATZ, wearing the obligatory scientist’s white lab coat, grins proudly at Ratliff.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

(playfully, with hands around his mouth)

Magnifying lenses in spaaaaace.

WALDO

Mr. Ratliff, with your investment, you would enable us to start building…

RATLIFF

I want the whole thing, Waldo, and I’m not taking no for an answer.

WALDO

We’re only selling a minority stake.

RATLIFF

Man, wow! That was Imelyna Michaels sunbathing! Hot damn! Terrific actress, of course, too. How’d you land her?

WALDO

Apparently she’s a big environmentalist. My partner made the connection. I am looking forward to meeting her. She’ll be at the demonstration.

RATLIFF

Waldo, let me say, thank you for this first look exclusive. Forget your other prospective investors. Don’t do the public demonstration. Listen, I will meet your asking price for the twenty percent, times five for the full one hundred percent. And then I’ll triple things to close the deal. What do you say?

Ratliff approaches Waldo with an outstretched hand to shake on the deal. Waldo avoids shaking by grabbing the TV remote off a “Great Green America Company” brochure on the table and clicking the TV monitor off.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

Maybe we should get your partner in here? Anmuth?

WALDO

Anmuth and I would be very pleased, Mr. Ratliff, to have your investment support, but neither of us are selling more than 10% equity.

RATLIFF

With Great Green America Company’s experience and knowhow, your technology will soon become a reality!

WALDO

With your investment, it will soon become a reality.

RATLIFF

You’re a tiny bunch of first timers in a tiny facility in a tiny country. Let the big boys with the infrastructure, experience, and deep pockets ensure this project gets to where it needs to be.

WALDO

This is my life’s work, and I feel morally obligated to see this project through.

RATLIFF

How ‘bout we keep you on to run things. We’ll even keep your name! You can trust me, Waldo Katz. Take the billion dollars!

WALDO

I wouldn’t even know what to do with $10,000.

RATLIFF

Go shopping, my friend! You’ve earned it. Buy a house. Eat a fancy dinner. Travel the world! Look at you, Waldo. You’re about to meet world-famous hottie Imelyna Michaels! Buy some god damn new shoes for crying out loud! You’re 40. Unmarried. Yes, we do our due diligence. You need to get out. Live a little, Waldo. Live for today!

WALDO

As impressive as Great Green America Company sounds, you may not be a good fit for us.

RATLIFF

Five times?

INT. PILOT PLANT LABORATORY – MOMENTS LATER

Scientific equipment and computer terminals line the walls.

Fifty people mingle in a horseshoe around something extremely large in the middle of the room hidden underneath a tarp.

The room’s buzz hushes when Waldo walks in.

Waldo joins his partner, ANMUTH, who wears a similar white lab coat, at the control panel. They do various things with knobs, buttons, and levers.

ANMUTH

(whispers)

How’d it go? Do we have our first investor? Did he like the video?

WALDO

He certainly liked Imelyna Michaels.

ANMUTH

I bet you did, too, Waldo! I’ll introduce you. She’s just over there.

Anmuth points out Imelyna, who is livestreaming on her phone. Waldo stops Anmuth before he sets out.

WALDO

Mr. Ratliff wanted to buy us out. Completely. He’d have kept us on if we wanted.

ANMUTH

But then he’d have total control, no? And we agreed not to risk that.

WALDO

Too many innovations shelved in favor of bottom lines.

ANMUTH

People are greedy, except you apparently, Waldo. How much did we just pass up?

WALDO

Do I really have to tell you? You could have traveled the world, dining at only Michelin Star rated restaurants for breakfast, lunch, and dinner…for the rest of your life. I can’t believe I just turned down him down.

ANMUTH

Frankly, Waldo, I’d be in disbelief if you had accepted it. Don’t worry. We’ve got a room full of other potentials, though maybe not as large and impressive. Let’s get this demonstration going and stick to the plan. Investors to help get this thing built and adopted. Then we’ll sell it.

WALDO

Thanks, Anmuth. You’re a great partner…and friend. (looks at watch) It’s time.

ANMUTH

Does Vienna even have any Michelin restaurants?

WALDO

Absolutely. Probably, right?

Anmuth steps forward to address the room.

ANMUTH

Hello investors, activists, and sun worshippers, thank you for coming to see us in Vienna. We are extremely excited to have you here today to witness the beginnings of the final energy solution. My name is Dr. Douglas Anmuth. I am Dr. Waldo Katz’ partner in crime. I have probably spoken to most of you on the phone. Behold!

Anmuth pulls a rope and the tarp lifts away revealing a prototype of the vertical space station seen in the video.

Guests gasp, ooh and aah.

Waldo moves into the crowd and pretends he’s a guest.

WALDO

(playfully)

How does it work, Anmuth?

ANMUTH

(gesturing)

Sun goes in there. More powerful energy comes out there. Oh yeah, with 10 magnifying lenses in between.

Anmuth grins as he sees Waldo notice that he’s standing next to Swedish bombshell Imelyna Michaels.

ANMUTH (CONT’D)

This is all happening because I happened to be freshman roommates with this particular nerd at university. He was deeply concerned about the consequences of global warming. A bright young man of conscience. And a one of a kind visionary.

As Anmuth continues speaking, Imelyna notices Waldo checking her out.

IMELYNA

(whispering)

Oh my god! I am such an admirer of your work! Thank you for inviting me.

WALDO

(whispering)

I’m a big fan of your work, too. You were terrific in Vampires Are People Too. And thank you, of course, for helping us with our little movie.

IMELYNA

You are quite welcome. Guess what? I’ve just signed on to do the sequel, Vampires Are People Two.

WALDO

(loudly)

But how?

Anmuth glances at an apologetic Waldo before continuing.

WALDO (CONT’D)

(whispering)

You died. Twice. The sun burned you to ash. How could you…wait, I don’t want to know.

IMELYNA

I’m actually not sure myself. The script’s not written yet. But with your knowledge of the sun, maybe you can concoct the loophole.

WALDO

Can I be an extra? One of your victims?

IMELYNA

It would be my pleasure to suck your blood.

Anmuth glances at them amused before continuing.

IMELYNA (CONT’D)

I know you agreed to me livestreaming, but can I also get an interview afterwards while I’m here? Maybe over dinner?

WALDO

Uh, sure, yes. You can have the exclusive. Michelin Star?

IMELYNA

(laughs)

Of course! You are very considerate, Waldo.

(loudly)

I can’t believe you’re gonna end global warming!

Anmuth smiles and raises his voice.

ANMUTH

…and he promised me he was going to lasso the sun. I looked into his eyes, and I believed him. And now his vision takes the next step towards becoming a reality. Dr. Waldo Katz saves the world. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Waldo Katz.

Enthusiastic applause erupts as Waldo steps forward humbly.

WALDO

I never did understand why anyone would choose to lasso the moon when the sun was right up there too. I mean…I can’t even see the man on the moon! And when I think I see him, he doesn’t look very happy. But the sun! Well…Oh the simplicity of her complexity. Smart, powerful, radiant. Just one truly beautiful star.

Waldo darts a glance at a receptive Imelyna. Both Imelyna and Anmuth smile, separately recognizing that Waldo is speaking about Imelyna.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Spectral class G2. Luminosity class V. How many watts per square meter every second to the Earth? Anmuth?

ANMUTH

1,300 watts.

WALDO

Multiply that by the area of the Earth and number of seconds in a year. Anmuth?

ANMUTH

Carry the 1…150 quadrillion watts.

WALDO

And how much energy does the planet consume in a year?

ANMUTH

Do you want it in light bulbs? Or nuclear explosions?

WALDO

Terajoules.

ANMUTH

The annual global energy consumption is 580 million terajoules.

WALDO

Will our space solar solution be able to harness enough energy from the sun to satisfy all of the Earth’s needs?

ANMUTH

Yes. The entire planet, plus eleven more Earths…if they existed.

WALDO

Clean? Safe? Sustainable?

ANMUTH

Yes. Yes. Yes.

WALDO

Why let the man moon you…when the sun wants to give you a KISS.

Waldo wants to look at Imelyna, but chickens out.

ANMUTH

Katz Space Solar!

The crowd enthusiastically applauds.

Waldo notices Ratliff standing too close to the battery receptacle below the space station.

WALDO

Anmuth, pass out the sunglasses.

ANMUTH

(announcing)

Everyone needs protective eyewear.

Waldo moves quickly towards Ratliff as Anmuth hands out tinted safety goggles to Imelyna and the rest of the guests.

OVER BY THE PROTOTYPE

Waldo aggressively steps in front of Ratliff, protecting his machine.

WALDO

Still here, Mr. Ratliff?

RATLIFF

See the light yet, Waldo? For your sake. Just give in. You’ve done your part. Do what’s best for the world. Ten times. Final offer. Take the money, Waldo.

WALDO

I did just confirm with Anmuth that we’re only selling a minority…

RATLIFF

Okay, okay. You’ve worn me down, Waldo. We’ll take just the minority share.

WALDO

However, we’re no longer interested in partnering with you.

RATLIFF

For a man of conscience, you sure are shortsighted. It doesn’t have to go down like this.

WALDO

Please leave, Mr. Ratliff.

Waldo ushers Ratliff away from the machine and takes out a pair of sunglasses from his jacket.

RATLIFF

Can I at least stay for the fireworks? I’m still a fan, Waldo. I just want to see this thing in action before I have to go back to my group and tell them I ruined it.

WALDO

If you stop with the offers. I’m not in the least tempted. You’ll need protective eyewear. We don’t want you getting solar retinopathy.

Waldo points at Anmuth who is handing out eyewear, but Ratliff takes out a pair of sunglasses from his jacket.

RATLIFF

I happen to already have a pair. Hey, what do you know, mine are the same as yours.

Waldo looks at Ratliff curiously, gestures him towards the group, and walks to the control display.

Waldo turns on the machine, which hums powerfully, and the eager crowd hushes.

ANMUTH

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a celebrity in the house! Ms. Imelyna Michaels, would you please join us.

The crowd applauds as Imelyna joins them while livestreaming.

IMELYNA

(whispering to the phone)

That’s him! That’s Dr. Waldo Katz!

Waldo embarrassedly puts on his sunglasses.

ANMUTH

Our future’s so bright, I got to wear shades. Everybody, please put on your protective eyewear.

Everybody puts on their sunglasses. Anmuth gestures a thumbs up to Imelyna, who continues to livestream.

IMELYNA

All the energy the world will ever need.

Imelyna presses a button on the console.

From the top of the space station, a beam of light passes downwards through the magnifying lenses, producing an ever increasingly powerful column of energy.

However, when the beam shoots into the battery receptacle, it reflects into thousands of continuous heat rays, rotating like a disco mirror ball in a circular motion around the room, burning swaths into all the walls and ceiling.

The crowd screams and panics, scattering and diving to the ground.

Waldo instinctively protects Imelyna by bringing her to the ground just in time as a heat ray barely misses her.

However, Waldo’s sunglasses fly off his face, his eyes no longer protected from the intense lights as he looks around.

Anmuth shuts off the machine just before the final reflected heat ray burns him directly in the face.

Waldo watches Anmuth crumble to the ground dead.

As loud chaos and crying fills the room, Waldo notices the actual sun’s sunlight shining through the burned through paths on the ceiling.

From Waldo’s POV he sees sun rays illuminating swirling smoke and dust. But then his vision goes black. Waldo shakes.

Imelyna rushes to help an uneasy but rising Waldo to his feet.

She sees his eyes, pulls off her eyewear, and stands in front of him to see the damage.

IMELYNA (CONT’D)

You’re hurt.

WALDO

I hear you in front of me, but I cannot see you.

Out of the corner of his eye Waldo sees Anmuth on the ground, and he uses Imelyna’s guidance to head towards him.

Waldo kneels next to his dead and unrecognizable friend.

Imelyna is about to say something to Waldo when he stands, but watches him as he turns his head slightly to the side to see what’s in front of him.

Waldo heads to the battery receptacle where Ratliff was standing.

NOTE: Waldo now has solar retinopathy, which is burned out retinas from looking at the bright beams. He has the opposite of tunnel vision, meaning he can see everything peripherally, just not directly in front of him. FOR THE REST OF THE MOVIE WALDO’S SIGNATURE GESTURE WILL BE TO ALWAYS HAVE HIS HEAD TURNED SLIGHTLY TO ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER.

OVER BY THE PROTOTYPE

Waldo leans over the paneling into the battery receptacle, head slightly turned to see a 4” mini disco mirror ball inside the charred remains of the smoldering battery chamber.

Waldo grabs the mirror ball and holds it in his palm.

IMELYNA

Who would put that in there?

Out of the corner of his eye, Waldo glimpses Ratliff slide out the back door.

EXT. PILOT PLANT ALLEY – MOMENTS LATER

Waldo bursts out of the backdoor exit and sees Ratliff walking away nonchalantly.

WALDO

Hey! Ratliff!

Waldo catches up and cuts him off.

WALDO (CONT’D)

You killed Anmuth!

Ratliff sees Waldo’s injured eyes and winces.

RATLIFF

The world will think you did.

WALDO

I have proof!

Waldo takes the mini disco ball out of his jacket pocket and holds it up.

WALDO (CONT’D)

Sabotage? Really? Because I wouldn’t sell out to you?

Ratliff stares blankly. He begins to walk away.

WALDO (CONT’D)

No! You’re going to jail!

Waldo puts the mini disco ball back into his jacket, and grabs Ratliff’s arm to prevent him from leaving.

Ratliff squeezes one of his cufflinks, which electrifies his jacket, causing Waldo to release his grip in pain.

Ratliff karate chops Waldo’s throat, hip tosses him to the ground, controls him with a wrist manipulation, and pins his neck under his knee.

RATLIFF

To the victor…belong the spoils.

Ratliff takes the mini disco ball out from Waldo’s jacket pocket and puts it into his own.

WALDO

What is wrong with you?

Waldo struggles to get up, but Ratliff applies painful pressure to Waldo’s wrist and subdues him.

RATLIFF

Don’t be a hero, Waldo. You can’t win.

WALDO

Why are you…

RATLIFF

Stop pursuing space solar.

WALDO

Stop my life’s work? Oh. (pause) You really just want to bury the technology. Big oil? Coal?

Ratliff draws his gun and points it at Waldo. Waldo doesn’t see it, so Ratliff puts the gun at an angle so Waldo sees it.

Waldo is instantly unnerved at seeing the gun, made worse seeing Ratliff’s finger squeeze slightly on the trigger.

RATLIFF

Reconsider a different life’s work, Waldo…or I will kill you.

Ratliff notices Waldo’s pants darkening from urine, and bloody tears welling up in his terrified, injured eyes.

In one motion, Ratliff holsters his gun, stands, and hoists a confused and shaken Waldo to his feet.

Ratliff takes out his sunglasses and puts them on Waldo.

RATLIFF (CONT’D)

Your technology will never see the light of day. Isn’t that right, Waldo?

WALDO

(stupefied)

Uh. Right. Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Ratliff.

Waldo watches Ratliff walk away without a care in the world.

[Michael Katz]

Hi Cameron,

Cameron Martin Ready for Critique (V.3)

Curious, did you settle on a title yet?

Overall, I like the intense opening, with a little action (maybe Beth searches for a weapon, Isaiah plays with a toy in the closet, maybe Sully runs and dodges, gets in a fight, changes direction several times), with a little shock (can we get a glimpse of the neighbor so we know the horrors of being infected?), a little unique character (give us funny clever familiar Asperger’s – so we care about Isaiah), and a little unique world (need more world building) – each of which could be pushed more

I think you’ve got the 6 rules covered

Definitely inciting incident is proper

Asperger’s in space, Asperger’s vs. Aliens, concept alone I would keep reading after 10 anyway, and your pages didn’t dissuade me from continuing, so great job so far!

I gave notes only as brainstorming suggestions

pg. 1

INT. CLOSET

BLACK. HEAVY BREATHING. AN ALARM BLARING. — Air raid siren blaring. – more description differentiates type of alarm (alarm clock or piercing emergency alarm)

A light SLASHES through the darkness, illuminating BETH – the bedrock of her family. — intermittently slashes or intermittently illuminating, otherwise you say it only happens once and we’ll not be able to see her, you don’t describe Beth physically, sweaty? the panicked eyes of 35 year old Beth peeking out between coats,

She dials a number on her phone… — wow the reader here with something unique futuristic device?, do we see it glow, light up her face

It RINGS for an eternity. — while things crash and bang in the background?

BETH — (frantic or calm?)

Babe? Sully? — nickname Sul, Sully only later when she’s serious

SULLY

(on the phone)

Beth! Where are you?

BETH

It’s in the room with me. — it broke in! — slowly dole out the info

SULLY

What?

BETH

It’s in the room. I’m in a closet hiding from it. — I’m in the closet. — obviously she’s hiding

Anguished pause. — Sully isn’t going to pause speaking, he’d fill it instantly with the Cover your mouth… – so switch order of next 2 lines, no?, plus as a mother she’d disregard his concern for her to the more important concern of their son

BETH

Where are you? Is Isaiah with you? — you have Isaiah?

SULLY

Cover your mouth with a shirt and— — Put a mask on! Did you grab your gun?

BANG! The closet door holds.

BETH

Is our son with you?! — Sully, do you have our son? – nickname used above and below but here full name

BANG! BANG! BANG!

SULLY

No, the alarm just went off. Cover your face and run! — Not yet! He’s at school. I’m coming home.

BETH

No, Sul. Take care of our boy. or Our boy needs you. — sets up the meaning of the story

BANG! BANG! CRACK! The door frame splinters!

Beth PRESSES her feet against the wall… — against the door

Pushing with her back against a box and the subsequent door. — delete

pg. 2

BETH

[Need something personal first between them – last words? Then about Isaiah! – something he has to promise her, or tell Isaiah blah blah, or something silly that Isaiah likes to do, or something thematic, something not on the nose but meaningful], then It’s our neighbor, Sul! — twist!

the line goes dead — action line to complete the scene.

And they never mentioned the bunker???

INT. SPACE COLONY – HALLWAYS – DAY

— don’t you want to immediately cut to Sully’s face and reaction here, on his startled, exasperated face, then pull back to show him fighting through the torrent

A TORRENT of colonists WASHES down the halls. — description of the halls? this is your first chance to establish what kind of world we are in

Meanwhile, SULLY, mid thirties, BARRELS through the stampede – Who is he? A self aware man-child who loves making things work more than making love. Into his phone… — who is he? not sure this is an appropriate technique for this type of script, especially with that answer, and I can’t picture what a self-aware man-child looks like, not sure that this type of description works here if we’re to believe him to be barreling through a stampede, and at this point of the movie self-aware man-child isn’t relevant and demonstrated so it won’t be remembered

SULLY

I’m on my way, Beth!

His phone rings. Another call…

He’s goes to hang up when he sees the name ISAIAH.

SULLY

I’m getting a call from Isaiah. I don’t know why he’s calling me- Just hold on. I’m on my way.

He switches the caller…

SULLY

Isaiah, go straight to the bunker, kiddo!

ISAIAH

(on the phone)

Dad! I’m stuck! — Dad, mom’s going to voicemail. – he’d call her first, no?

SULLY

No you’re not! Get up and—

ISAIAH

Come get me, please!

SULLY

Listen! I know it’s loud! Just cover your ears and—

ISAIAH

My teacher left me. — believable?

Sully checks his watch…

The timer paces down from 7:59…7:58…7:57…

SULLY

Isaiah, I…I really need you to be brave right now. — cliche

pg. 3

ISAIAH

No! I can’t!

SULLY

Please, buddy. Do it for me and mommy, okay? — cliche, so yes, he’s the cliche father, but is there a way to show that with also showing interesting dialogue?

ISAIAH

I can’t.

SULLY

(burning tears welling up)

Okay. Just hold on. I’m going to put Mommy on, okay?

No response.

SULLY

Are you shaking your head yes or no?

ISAIAH

Yes.

SULLY

Attaboy.

INT. SPACE COLONY – CLASSROOM – NIGHT

An eight year old boy, ISAIAH, sits under a desk. His hands and the phone PRESS against his ears like a vice grip.

ISAIAH

Mommy?

Beth

(crying through the phone)

I’m here, baby. — this feels out of place, didn’t she die? she would have been on the phone with the kid before Sully

ISAIAH

Mommy? Are you crying?

BETH

No, baby. I’m okay. I want you know I love you. — to know

ISAIAH

I love you, too.

BETH

Daddy’s going to be there any second now.

pg. 4

Isaiah nods his head.

BETH

Can you be strong for Daddy when he comes?

Isaiah nods his head again.

ISAIAH

I mean, yes.

BETH

I love you, Isaiah. I love you so much!

A hand WRENCHES Isaiah out from under the table!

The phone drops to the ground.

BETH

(through the phone)

Please, GOD! PLEASE! no, No, NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

SMASH CUT TO BLACK

— OK, here’s the pitch: opens with Beth trapped in closet at home/work whispering to Isaiah, who is also trapped in a closet at school, she can hear the teacher yelling at Isaiah to open the door because they have to get to the bunker, Beth also hears at same at her place the alarm plus banging and crashing, she’s trying to get him to listen to the teacher but he’s scared because of the noise, we hear the exasperated teacher leave Isaiah there – she doesn’t want to die for some pejorative description, Beth soothes the boy as a great mother she is, THEN Sully calls, 3 way conversation, Beth wants him to get Isaiah but Isaiah only wants mommy to get him, she says in closet, she says it’s in their apt/work, Sully only shows concern for Beth’s predicament, got mask? no, got gun? no, crashing/banging getting louder, Sully fights torrent to go to Beth but Beth begs him to get Isaiah, he stops stands still amid chaos, sweet words between her and the other 2 characters, her hope for Sully – goal of movie (not on the nose), theme (not only the nose), banging on her closet door, both hear her screams, line goes dead, Isaiah has peculiar reaction (thinks game perhaps), Sully is devastated, looks at watch, turns the other direction to get Isaiah

INT. SPACE COLONY – SULLY’S ROOM – NIGHT

Sully WIDE AWAKE…

Fixated on a portrait of Beth smiling, HAPPY.

He lays on his side of the bed, ALONE. A VOID where his wife should be.

SUPERIMPOSE: FOUR YEARS LATER… — unless have specific reason why 4 years, one year later is most used, logical, and familiar, and casting can use the same kid

The alarm clock reads 3:14.

Sully crawls out of bed and grabs the portrait, before shambling to…

THE BATHROOM

The portrait stands next to the sink as Sully brushes his teeth and shaves.

SULLY (V.O.)

Good morning, honey. Don’t really have anything new to say. Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it. Just…tempering expectations. The boy’s like an albino crow, now. — plus 4 years later it’s hard to believe he still talks to her

pg. 5

SULLY’S ROOM

Sully gets dressed in scrubs.

SULLY (V.O.)

Maybe we both are. It’s hard to hide it because…I don’t really want to. I’m sure you’d tell me to move on, but…You know me. And as bad as I am, Isaiah’s worse. The kid won’t listen to anyone. — not sure about this scene or dialogue, generally you would want to show this

KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM

Sully finishes writing a note on a countertop.

SULLY

He’s too damned stubborn, and…I know. You’re right. Just…

Sully takes the portrait out of the frame and folds it into his pocket.

SULLY

We can’t do it without you. I…remind me how to be with him again. Please. Because I don’t remember how.

And he’s out the door. The clock reads 4:00.

INT. SPACE COLONY – ISAIAH’S ROOM – MORNING

The GLITTER OF DAWN trickles into the room from a window. — page 5 and I have no idea I’m in space in another world, you need to have built the world by now, the kinds of buildings, what people are wearing, the way people sleep

KZZT. KZZT. The same window malfunctions, struggling to depict a world beyond the walls of the space colony. — same window malfunctions???

A young boy with Asperger’s, ISAIAH, now twelve, lays in bed. He peels out from under the covers and looks under his bed… — Aspergers needs to be mentioned the very first time we see Isaiah

For a long time…Analyzing something…

Before he snaps back up and tugs down on a pulley…

Unleashing a CASCADE of Rube Goldberg MECHANISMS across his room. All at once, his bed’s made, new clothes are thrown to the floor, a hamper rolls out for him… — your original clever update to rube’s… wow the reader with something inventive

pg. 6

KITCHEN

Fully dressed in a school uniform, Isaiah munches on a protein bar and reads Sully’s note.

SULLY (V.O.)

Dear Isaiah, had to go in early this morning. I want you to know I’m so proud of—

Isaiah CRUMPLES the paper and TOSSES it in the trash can.

He stews…

Then takes the crumpled paper out of the trash can and unravels it, carrying it to…

ISAIAH’S ROOM

Where he sets it in a drawer full of other motivating papers from Dad. He closes the drawer.

CLINK.

Isaiah looks under his bed.

ISAIAH

Hold on little buddy.

Under Isaiah’s bed, shrouded, A GLASS TANK. Some THING SLITHERS, its form undefined.

INT. SPACE COLONY / HALLWAYS / APARTMENTS – DAY

A calibrated clockwork of people, computers, and robots. A cobbled mix of old and future tech – like out of a Simon Stålenhag painting.

INT. MEDICAL BAY – DAY

A series of sterile rooms in an open concept area – a beacon of minimalism with a handful of medical staff on autopilot.

DR. MICK – 50s to 60s, has seen more with his own eyes than everyone in that room combined – strides out of a room where a teenager’s busy COUGHING up a lung.

He grabs himself a cup of coffee. Another doctor, DR. DOUGLAS – 40s, soft spoken like he’s always trying to calm a fawn – pours another packet of sugar into his own cup.

pg. 7

DR. DOUGLAS

Sounds terrible.

DR. MICK

Don’t you start.

DR. DOUGLAS

Nonsense. I agree. The chances are so slim with the new filters.

DR. MICK

Exactly. Plus I’ve seen it already. I know what it looks like.

DR. DOUGLAS

So, nothing to be concerned with?

Dr. Mick scoffs.

DR. MICK

Douglas, if you see me concerned, then GOD save us all.

A clatter shatters the calm of the scene.

Dr. Mick and Douglas snap their attention to…

THE TEENAGER’S ROOM

MOM shields her son who’s laying on the medical bed.

MOM

You’re not his doctor! You have no right!

Dr. Mick and Dr. Douglas rush in, finding…

Sully, readying a BRONCHOSCOPE.

DR. MICK

Get away from my patient!

SULLY

You haven’t checked him today.

DR. MICK

I checked him yesterday you egotistical—

SULLY

That was yesterday, Mickey.

pg. 8

DR. DOUGLAS

Dr. Sullivan—

SULLY

If he’s infected—

DR. DOUGLAS

It’ll be Dr. Mick’s call.

SULLY

Mickey’s not doing his job.

DR. MICK

Not doing my-You’re not even a real physician!

SULLY

My medical license says otherwise. — so what is he?

DR. MICK

You’re a bitter actor that missed out on— — huh? actor? in colonized space?

SULLY

I didn’t miss out. I saw one number for building stage sets, and another number for fixing people. My lizard brain told me to go for the bigger number. — I don’t follow this at all

(grabbing the gas mask for the teen)

I’m still going with the bigger number. We will have another outbreak, and more people will die, if your son is infected. Move.

MOM

(shoving Sully away)

He’s not infected! — how does she know? and why is she denying? maybe create stakes if he is infected i.e. You’re not putting my boy in 3-month isolation.

SULLY

If I don’t check every single passenger on this colony, if even one gets through, your son isn’t the only one who pays! I pay! My son pays! My wife is dead! She paid because of people like you! — very on the nose, and wouldn’t this fight have happened a zillion times by now

— so what is Dr. Mick’s motivation for being lax? he doesn’t want to die either

MANAGER (O.S.)

Sully! My office! Now!

Sully drops everything. Eyes his MANAGER at the entrance, and obeys the Manager’s “come here” trigger finger.

pg. 9

INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

The manager rifles through thick stacks of paper. He repeats this process of looking busy – assessing his thoughts.

SULLY

Sir, if I may—

MANAGER

Just a second.

Sully watches his boss flip through the stack with the ABPLOMP of a card dealer.

MANAGER

One hundred seventeen. One hundred seventeen. Do you know what that number is?

SULLY

It’s the total pop—

MANAGER

It’s the total population of this space colony, and we’re growing. We’re growing based on what, Sul?

SULLY

Please, sir, Sully. It’s based on— — perhaps he wouldn’t want Sul being used by anyone but his wife

MANAGER

Stop, stop, just stop. You don’t know. That’s the answer. You don’t know. You’re too busy doing your own thing to know. So, let me educate you. This colony is owned by the largest governmental entity off Earth. The Hegemony controls the majority of space travel, trading, and they’ve made significant investments here. — exposition, manager would never say this to a longtime worker of his, maybe find another vehicle to get this information to the audience, perhaps he’s training his replacement, or he’s talking to a co-worker just in the beginning stages of thinking about rebelling

SULLY

You didn’t bring me in to discuss politics.

MANAGER

It’s not politics. It’s you making a mockery of a system that brings prosperity to every man, woman, and child here and abroad.

pg. 10

SULLY

How is keeping us safe from those things a mockery?

MANAGER

You authorize a bronchoscopy for every patient, whether they come in for shingles or a boo-boo on the knee!

SULLY

I’m sorry. Deeply sorry, that I’m doing everything I can to keep my son safe—

MANAGER

Sullivan, you never see your son! You’re in here for damn near eighteen hours a day—

SULLY

Doing my job! The job that someone, maybe me, didn’t do that got my wife killed!

Manager taps his trigger-finger against the desk, reloading for a verbal fire-at-will.

MANAGER

Let me make this perfectly clear to you. This “ends justifies the means” approach isn’t for you to decide. It’s already laid out in protocol. Now, I get that you’ve lost a loved one. We all have. It’s space. You signed off on those risks when you agreed to help colonize a newly terraformed planet for the betterment of our species. You know what else you signed off on? Collateral. — that’s a good threat!

SULLY

Sir?

MANAGER

If I’m not convinced that you’ll be a team player, I will have the Hegemony take that son you never see and relieve you from the burden of “protecting” him. — excellent!

(grabbing his desk phone)

So, what’s it going to be?

— so I’m not clear what sully’s job actually is, and for saying he’s a self-aware man-child…not sure that’s what’s coming across, and question whether those descriptors are the right choices anywayHi Cameron,

Cameron Martin Ready for Critique (V.3)

Curious, did you settle on a title yet?

Overall, I like the intense opening, with a little action (maybe Beth searches for a weapon, Isaiah plays with a toy in the closet, maybe Sully runs and dodges, gets in a fight, changes direction several times), with a little shock (can we get a glimpse of the neighbor so we know the horrors of being infected?), a little unique character (give us funny clever familiar Asperger’s – so we care about Isaiah), and a little unique world (need more world building) – each of which could be pushed more

I think you’ve got the 6 rules covered

Definitely inciting incident is proper

Asperger’s in space, Asperger’s vs. Aliens, concept alone I would keep reading after 10 anyway, and your pages didn’t dissuade me from continuing, so great job so far!

I gave notes only as brainstorming suggestions

pg. 1

INT. CLOSET

BLACK. HEAVY BREATHING. AN ALARM BLARING. — Air raid siren blaring. – more description differentiates type of alarm (alarm clock or piercing emergency alarm)

A light SLASHES through the darkness, illuminating BETH – the bedrock of her family. — intermittently slashes or intermittently illuminating, otherwise you say it only happens once and we’ll not be able to see her, you don’t describe Beth physically, sweaty? the panicked eyes of 35 year old Beth peeking out between coats,

She dials a number on her phone… — wow the reader here with something unique futuristic device?, do we see it glow, light up her face

It RINGS for an eternity. — while things crash and bang in the background?

BETH — (frantic or calm?)

Babe? Sully? — nickname Sul, Sully only later when she’s serious

SULLY

(on the phone)

Beth! Where are you?

BETH

It’s in the room with me. — it broke in! — slowly dole out the info

SULLY

What?

BETH

It’s in the room. I’m in a closet hiding from it. — I’m in the closet. — obviously she’s hiding

Anguished pause. — Sully isn’t going to pause speaking, he’d fill it instantly with the Cover your mouth… – so switch order of next 2 lines, no?, plus as a mother she’d disregard his concern for her to the more important concern of their son

BETH

Where are you? Is Isaiah with you? — you have Isaiah?

SULLY

Cover your mouth with a shirt and— — Put a mask on! Did you grab your gun?

BANG! The closet door holds.

BETH

Is our son with you?! — Sully, do you have our son? – nickname used above and below but here full name

BANG! BANG! BANG!

SULLY

No, the alarm just went off. Cover your face and run! — Not yet! He’s at school. I’m coming home.

BETH

No, Sul. Take care of our boy. or Our boy needs you. — sets up the meaning of the story

BANG! BANG! CRACK! The door frame splinters!

Beth PRESSES her feet against the wall… — against the door

Pushing with her back against a box and the subsequent door. — delete

pg. 2

BETH

[Need something personal first between them – last words? Then about Isaiah! – something he has to promise her, or tell Isaiah blah blah, or something silly that Isaiah likes to do, or something thematic, something not on the nose but meaningful], then It’s our neighbor, Sul! — twist!

the line goes dead — action line to complete the scene.

And they never mentioned the bunker???

INT. SPACE COLONY – HALLWAYS – DAY

— don’t you want to immediately cut to Sully’s face and reaction here, on his startled, exasperated face, then pull back to show him fighting through the torrent

A TORRENT of colonists WASHES down the halls. — description of the halls? this is your first chance to establish what kind of world we are in

Meanwhile, SULLY, mid thirties, BARRELS through the stampede – Who is he? A self aware man-child who loves making things work more than making love. Into his phone… — who is he? not sure this is an appropriate technique for this type of script, especially with that answer, and I can’t picture what a self-aware man-child looks like, not sure that this type of description works here if we’re to believe him to be barreling through a stampede, and at this point of the movie self-aware man-child isn’t relevant and demonstrated so it won’t be remembered

SULLY

I’m on my way, Beth!

His phone rings. Another call…

He’s goes to hang up when he sees the name ISAIAH.

SULLY

I’m getting a call from Isaiah. I don’t know why he’s calling me- Just hold on. I’m on my way.

He switches the caller…

SULLY

Isaiah, go straight to the bunker, kiddo!

ISAIAH

(on the phone)

Dad! I’m stuck! — Dad, mom’s going to voicemail. – he’d call her first, no?

SULLY

No you’re not! Get up and—

ISAIAH

Come get me, please!

SULLY

Listen! I know it’s loud! Just cover your ears and—

ISAIAH

My teacher left me. — believable?

Sully checks his watch…

The timer paces down from 7:59…7:58…7:57…

SULLY

Isaiah, I…I really need you to be brave right now. — cliche

pg. 3

ISAIAH

No! I can’t!

SULLY

Please, buddy. Do it for me and mommy, okay? — cliche, so yes, he’s the cliche father, but is there a way to show that with also showing interesting dialogue?

ISAIAH

I can’t.

SULLY

(burning tears welling up)

Okay. Just hold on. I’m going to put Mommy on, okay?

No response.

SULLY

Are you shaking your head yes or no?

ISAIAH

Yes.

SULLY

Attaboy.

INT. SPACE COLONY – CLASSROOM – NIGHT

An eight year old boy, ISAIAH, sits under a desk. His hands and the phone PRESS against his ears like a vice grip.

ISAIAH

Mommy?

Beth

(crying through the phone)

I’m here, baby. — this feels out of place, didn’t she die? she would have been on the phone with the kid before Sully

ISAIAH

Mommy? Are you crying?

BETH

No, baby. I’m okay. I want you know I love you. — to know

ISAIAH

I love you, too.

BETH

Daddy’s going to be there any second now.

pg. 4

Isaiah nods his head.

BETH

Can you be strong for Daddy when he comes?

Isaiah nods his head again.

ISAIAH

I mean, yes.

BETH

I love you, Isaiah. I love you so much!

A hand WRENCHES Isaiah out from under the table!

The phone drops to the ground.

BETH

(through the phone)

Please, GOD! PLEASE! no, No, NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

SMASH CUT TO BLACK

— OK, here’s the pitch: opens with Beth trapped in closet at home/work whispering to Isaiah, who is also trapped in a closet at school, she can hear the teacher yelling at Isaiah to open the door because they have to get to the bunker, Beth also hears at same at her place the alarm plus banging and crashing, she’s trying to get him to listen to the teacher but he’s scared because of the noise, we hear the exasperated teacher leave Isaiah there – she doesn’t want to die for some pejorative description, Beth soothes the boy as a great mother she is, THEN Sully calls, 3 way conversation, Beth wants him to get Isaiah but Isaiah only wants mommy to get him, she says in closet, she says it’s in their apt/work, Sully only shows concern for Beth’s predicament, got mask? no, got gun? no, crashing/banging getting louder, Sully fights torrent to go to Beth but Beth begs him to get Isaiah, he stops stands still amid chaos, sweet words between her and the other 2 characters, her hope for Sully – goal of movie (not on the nose), theme (not only the nose), banging on her closet door, both hear her screams, line goes dead, Isaiah has peculiar reaction (thinks game perhaps), Sully is devastated, looks at watch, turns the other direction to get Isaiah

INT. SPACE COLONY – SULLY’S ROOM – NIGHT

Sully WIDE AWAKE…

Fixated on a portrait of Beth smiling, HAPPY.

He lays on his side of the bed, ALONE. A VOID where his wife should be.

SUPERIMPOSE: FOUR YEARS LATER… — unless have specific reason why 4 years, one year later is most used, logical, and familiar, and casting can use the same kid

The alarm clock reads 3:14.

Sully crawls out of bed and grabs the portrait, before shambling to…

THE BATHROOM

The portrait stands next to the sink as Sully brushes his teeth and shaves.

SULLY (V.O.)

Good morning, honey. Don’t really have anything new to say. Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it. Just…tempering expectations. The boy’s like an albino crow, now. — plus 4 years later it’s hard to believe he still talks to her

pg. 5

SULLY’S ROOM

Sully gets dressed in scrubs.

SULLY (V.O.)

Maybe we both are. It’s hard to hide it because…I don’t really want to. I’m sure you’d tell me to move on, but…You know me. And as bad as I am, Isaiah’s worse. The kid won’t listen to anyone. — not sure about this scene or dialogue, generally you would want to show this

KITCHEN/LIVING ROOM

Sully finishes writing a note on a countertop.

SULLY

He’s too damned stubborn, and…I know. You’re right. Just…

Sully takes the portrait out of the frame and folds it into his pocket.

SULLY

We can’t do it without you. I…remind me how to be with him again. Please. Because I don’t remember how.

And he’s out the door. The clock reads 4:00.

INT. SPACE COLONY – ISAIAH’S ROOM – MORNING

The GLITTER OF DAWN trickles into the room from a window. — page 5 and I have no idea I’m in space in another world, you need to have built the world by now, the kinds of buildings, what people are wearing, the way people sleep

KZZT. KZZT. The same window malfunctions, struggling to depict a world beyond the walls of the space colony. — same window malfunctions???

A young boy with Asperger’s, ISAIAH, now twelve, lays in bed. He peels out from under the covers and looks under his bed… — Aspergers needs to be mentioned the very first time we see Isaiah

For a long time…Analyzing something…

Before he snaps back up and tugs down on a pulley…

Unleashing a CASCADE of Rube Goldberg MECHANISMS across his room. All at once, his bed’s made, new clothes are thrown to the floor, a hamper rolls out for him… — your original clever update to rube’s… wow the reader with something inventive

pg. 6

KITCHEN

Fully dressed in a school uniform, Isaiah munches on a protein bar and reads Sully’s note.

SULLY (V.O.)

Dear Isaiah, had to go in early this morning. I want you to know I’m so proud of—

Isaiah CRUMPLES the paper and TOSSES it in the trash can.

He stews…

Then takes the crumpled paper out of the trash can and unravels it, carrying it to…

ISAIAH’S ROOM

Where he sets it in a drawer full of other motivating papers from Dad. He closes the drawer.

CLINK.

Isaiah looks under his bed.

ISAIAH

Hold on little buddy.

Under Isaiah’s bed, shrouded, A GLASS TANK. Some THING SLITHERS, its form undefined.

INT. SPACE COLONY / HALLWAYS / APARTMENTS – DAY

A calibrated clockwork of people, computers, and robots. A cobbled mix of old and future tech – like out of a Simon Stålenhag painting.

INT. MEDICAL BAY – DAY

A series of sterile rooms in an open concept area – a beacon of minimalism with a handful of medical staff on autopilot.

DR. MICK – 50s to 60s, has seen more with his own eyes than everyone in that room combined – strides out of a room where a teenager’s busy COUGHING up a lung.

He grabs himself a cup of coffee. Another doctor, DR. DOUGLAS – 40s, soft spoken like he’s always trying to calm a fawn – pours another packet of sugar into his own cup.

pg. 7

DR. DOUGLAS

Sounds terrible.

DR. MICK

Don’t you start.

DR. DOUGLAS

Nonsense. I agree. The chances are so slim with the new filters.

DR. MICK

Exactly. Plus I’ve seen it already. I know what it looks like.

DR. DOUGLAS

So, nothing to be concerned with?

Dr. Mick scoffs.

DR. MICK

Douglas, if you see me concerned, then GOD save us all.

A clatter shatters the calm of the scene.

Dr. Mick and Douglas snap their attention to…

THE TEENAGER’S ROOM

MOM shields her son who’s laying on the medical bed.

MOM

You’re not his doctor! You have no right!

Dr. Mick and Dr. Douglas rush in, finding…

Sully, readying a BRONCHOSCOPE.

DR. MICK

Get away from my patient!

SULLY

You haven’t checked him today.

DR. MICK

I checked him yesterday you egotistical—

SULLY

That was yesterday, Mickey.

pg. 8

DR. DOUGLAS

Dr. Sullivan—

SULLY

If he’s infected—

DR. DOUGLAS

It’ll be Dr. Mick’s call.

SULLY

Mickey’s not doing his job.

DR. MICK

Not doing my-You’re not even a real physician!

SULLY

My medical license says otherwise. — so what is he?

DR. MICK

You’re a bitter actor that missed out on— — huh? actor? in colonized space?

SULLY

I didn’t miss out. I saw one number for building stage sets, and another number for fixing people. My lizard brain told me to go for the bigger number. — I don’t follow this at all

(grabbing the gas mask for the teen)

I’m still going with the bigger number. We will have another outbreak, and more people will die, if your son is infected. Move.

MOM

(shoving Sully away)

He’s not infected! — how does she know? and why is she denying? maybe create stakes if he is infected i.e. You’re not putting my boy in 3-month isolation.

SULLY

If I don’t check every single passenger on this colony, if even one gets through, your son isn’t the only one who pays! I pay! My son pays! My wife is dead! She paid because of people like you! — very on the nose, and wouldn’t this fight have happened a zillion times by now

— so what is Dr. Mick’s motivation for being lax? he doesn’t want to die either

MANAGER (O.S.)

Sully! My office! Now!

Sully drops everything. Eyes his MANAGER at the entrance, and obeys the Manager’s “come here” trigger finger.

pg. 9

INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

The manager rifles through thick stacks of paper. He repeats this process of looking busy – assessing his thoughts.

SULLY

Sir, if I may—

MANAGER

Just a second.

Sully watches his boss flip through the stack with the ABPLOMP of a card dealer.

MANAGER

One hundred seventeen. One hundred seventeen. Do you know what that number is?

SULLY

It’s the total pop—

MANAGER

It’s the total population of this space colony, and we’re growing. We’re growing based on what, Sul?

SULLY

Please, sir, Sully. It’s based on— — perhaps he wouldn’t want Sul being used by anyone but his wife

MANAGER

Stop, stop, just stop. You don’t know. That’s the answer. You don’t know. You’re too busy doing your own thing to know. So, let me educate you. This colony is owned by the largest governmental entity off Earth. The Hegemony controls the majority of space travel, trading, and they’ve made significant investments here. — exposition, manager would never say this to a longtime worker of his, maybe find another vehicle to get this information to the audience, perhaps he’s training his replacement, or he’s talking to a co-worker just in the beginning stages of thinking about rebelling

SULLY

You didn’t bring me in to discuss politics.

MANAGER

It’s not politics. It’s you making a mockery of a system that brings prosperity to every man, woman, and child here and abroad.

pg. 10

SULLY

How is keeping us safe from those things a mockery?

MANAGER

You authorize a bronchoscopy for every patient, whether they come in for shingles or a boo-boo on the knee!

SULLY

I’m sorry. Deeply sorry, that I’m doing everything I can to keep my son safe—

MANAGER

Sullivan, you never see your son! You’re in here for damn near eighteen hours a day—

SULLY

Doing my job! The job that someone, maybe me, didn’t do that got my wife killed!

Manager taps his trigger-finger against the desk, reloading for a verbal fire-at-will.

MANAGER

Let me make this perfectly clear to you. This “ends justifies the means” approach isn’t for you to decide. It’s already laid out in protocol. Now, I get that you’ve lost a loved one. We all have. It’s space. You signed off on those risks when you agreed to help colonize a newly terraformed planet for the betterment of our species. You know what else you signed off on? Collateral. — that’s a good threat!

SULLY

Sir?

MANAGER

If I’m not convinced that you’ll be a team player, I will have the Hegemony take that son you never see and relieve you from the burden of “protecting” him. — excellent!

(grabbing his desk phone)

So, what’s it going to be?

— so I’m not clear what sully’s job actually is, and for saying he’s a self-aware man-child…not sure that’s what’s coming across, and question whether those descriptors are the right choices anyway

[Michael Katz]

Of course, will do)

[Michael Katz]

Hi Anna,

Are you interested in exchanging? Let me know.

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Lisa, sorry for the delay…

Just had the idea that perhaps you could look at Doc Hollywood for how it arcs the main characters journey to want to remain in the town.

My notes are underlined, hopefully there’s something in them you find useful)

Lisa Long’s Completed Third Act

1. SETUP: Give us a paragraph or two about the first two acts so we’ll understand the story.

Mary was voted by the town to take over the annual “It’s a Wonderful Life” (IAWL) festival in Seneca Falls, NY after her mom who usually did it passed away. No one knows that Mary is planning to move to Albany after the festival. Peter, Mary’s ex-husband is a war hero who suffers from PTSD. Mary and Peter have two young daughters, Janie, and Ruthie.

Peter is about to lose his snowmobile shop because it hasn’t snowed in 3 years. — does Peter also blame Santa for lack of snow? maybe his plan has a little retaliation in it and not just money making? how else would he have thought of it

Peter did a stint at NORAD (*gov’t agency that tracks Santa Claus) when he was in the military. — so the military knows Santa is real??? is it believable that the military and all the countries in the world just let Santa do his thing without trying to steal/reproduce his magic?, maybe Peter does want his magic too?

Peter plans to threaten Santa with worldwide exposure if he doesn’t help him by going down chimneys and stealing presents. — so I’m not sure I understand his plan, doesn’t Santa drop off the presents? how are his presents already in the houses? Santa has to reclaim his presents and give them to Peter? why not just steal directly from Santa and take his bag before he delivers? or is that parents bought the presents and Santa has to steal them? and just the houses in Seneca Falls? plan logic is unclear for me

Peter has a guy lined up to fence the presents. The money will save his business. He has until Christmas Day to get the money. To make ends meet, Peter has been going around town and helping people with whatever chores they need. — two prong approach 1. kidnap Santa (bad) 2. help people around town with chores (good), this dichotomy is interesting that he’s not all bad but slightly confusing

Mary enlists the townspeople to play parts in the festival and parade. Joseph has proposed to Mary on more than one occasion, but Mary keeps turning him down. Joseph is angry when Mary finally tells him that she’s leaving town.

2. PLOT POINT 2 — A major twist that sends the story towards its final destination.

Peter and Tilly kidnap Santa Claus from the North Pole. (Tilly thinks Peter is making it all up until they get there.) Peter brings Santa back to town. — isn’t kidnapping Santa late in the story? wouldn’t Plot Point 1 be more appropriate and no later than the Midpoint??? the kidnapping is a major change and you need time to explore the excellent idea of having Santa in captivity

3. CRISIS — The decision point.

It is snowing after three years! — how/why? Santa???

Mary goes to the police to get their help with finding Peter and Santa. They laugh at her. Mary knows she has to thwart Peter’s plan herself.

NORAD agents (*comic relief characters), Dash and Donna have been assigned to find Peter and Santa Claus. Dash and Donna are tracking Peter, Santa, and Tilly. Peter takes Santa to his snowmobile shop. Peter and Tilly dress as Santa too, so he and Santa blend in with all the people dressed as Santa for the 5k Santa run. — maybe Santa can make a snowmobile fly?

The community center catches on fire. — Uncle Billy losing the money and causing the problem was plausible enough with Potter finding it, who is responsible for the fire? arson? feels random

Mary and her fellow volunteer firefighters get it out. Mary has to move some of the festivities to the Women’s Rights Museum across the street. But Mary’s father, Harry locks her in the Women’s Rights Museum with her sister Violet to force them to reconcile their differences. — I suggest thinking about putting many of the plot events above in the 2nd Act, there’s too much going on for the crisis scene, which I believe is supposed to be really just one emotional scene, perhaps the fire could be the plot point 2 with the aftermath of the fire scene being the crisis???, not sure just playing

4. CLIMAX — Bring the Protagonist face to face with the Antagonist to face his biggest fear.

Mary dressed as Santa Claus, switches places with the real Santa and tries to talk Peter out of stealing from the town. — actually…isn’t this be the emotional Crisis scene?!?

The NORAD agents shoot at them on the roof of a house that Peter intends to burglar. Mary throws herself in front of Peter and falls off the roof. Was she hit? Peter gives up to the agents because he thinks Mary as been shot. The incompetent NORAD agents missed. Joseph, Mary’s boyfriend is in the yard watching. He catches Mary when she falls, and they end up in a snowbank.

Santa convinces the bumbling NORAD agents to let Peter go if he agrees to meet them the next day. They let Peter go. Santa tells Peter that he could have left at any time but stayed to try and help him. He summons the reindeer and takes off.

To push the Climax, Peter and Mary’s daughter Janie is lost at the IAWF parade. They hug. Mary kisses Peter and then they run off to find Janie.

5. RESOLUTION — Show the effects of the climax and tie up loose ends.

Mary finds Janie in the nativity scene at the church. Poignant moment where Janie expresses that she doesn’t want to leave Seneca Falls. Town sings Christmas carol. Looks like Peter might be the one as they embrace at finding Janie okay. — part of climax

The next day, Christmas Day, Peter goes to see the NORAD agents at the hotel. As he comes out to the street afterwards, the whole town is there. They tell Peter that they have used the money from the festival to pay off his mortgage and save his shop from foreclosure. One by one people tell how much Peter means to them. Joseph has agreed to finance next year’s festival.

Later, at Mary’s old Victorian house there is a party of people there including Peter and Mary’s sisters, father, and Mary’s best friend, Annie and her husband, Ernie.

6. FINAL PAGE

Joseph and Mary are on the George Bailey bridge. Joseph proposes one last time, saying, “You saved someone on this bridge once, save me Mary. Marry me.” Mary says, “Well…you are the richest man in town.” Freeze frame on Mary’s face. Fade Out. — part of resolution?

Screen says “One Year Later” — Final page?

Fade up on Mary’s kitchen we follow Uncle Billy, the dachshund from the kitchen to the living room where Janie and Ruthie are shaking presents. Mary comes in the room and yells, “Are you coming? The girls are going to open presents now!” Joseph comes bounding down the stairs and says, “Watch out. I’ve got my wings!!” He kisses Mary and grabs a spot on the couch. Mary says, “And you’ve given me mine!” Mary smiles and jumps over the back of the couch to join him. It’s the end of It’s a Wonderful Life on tv and we hear Auld Lang Syne being sung.

7. FINAL LINE/IMAGE — An image or line that delivers the meaning of

the whole movie.

[Michael Katz]

Hi Dev,

I really love your concept of exploring racism using string theory of multi-universes…it’s absolutely original and highly intriguing. However, I’m just not fully understanding how it all works, why it all works, and whether there is supposed to be some intelligence manipulating Clay and Lincoln’s experiences. From the extremely little I know string theory, there isn’t an intelligence component to it. It’s not a conscious entity. It doesn’t have human morals. And so I’m confused how and why racism would be specifically focused upon, but that’s the genius of your concept, if you can figure out how to convey the justification to the audience.

In It’s A Wonderful Life or Scrooge or Bruce Almighty or Click, there’s a familiar suspend your disbelief benevolent entity with the ability to alter the main character’s reality in order to teach them a valuable lesson. There’s a purposeful manipulation to change a person, which conveys a message to the audience. Your setup creates this kind of expectation for me, but then with your string theory of multiverses, who is pulling the strings? The ending feels more like a person’s intriguing nightmare and less like a movie with a clear plot result and meaning. I’m missing the how and why all this is happening, and the mechanics of how the shimmers somehow seem to know just the exact moment to make a character disappear i.e. right before they are shot. Are Clay and Lincoln aware that things are collapsing or are they not capable of being aware that their reality keeps changing? And how and why are new strings formed? To teach someone a lesson? Because the universe is correcting a mistake? I’m certainly feeling the surprise, but I’m just not tracking the inevitability of the outcome, nor it’s meaning.

For the pages, my main feedback would be to ask why a car chase and why a gun fight in a roof collapsing building? These choices felt slightly small, standard, and too un-scifi for a string theory of multi-universe concept.

My confusion being said, that Clay and Lincoln are the same person, they kill each other, the worlds collapse, and two new diametrically opposed universes are birthed — all perfectly great! If I get the rational explanations as to why this is happening and how it is happening in the setup, or at the end to tie up all the strings, then I can happily suspend my disbelief and go along perfectly entertained, and perhaps be more open and able to see what meaning the audience is supposed to come away with.

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi June,

My thoughts are the underlines…

June Fortunato’s Completely OUTLINED third Act Day 9, endings

What I learned I don’t have the last scenes/resolution written. I have 103 pages. I intend to finish my screenplay during this exchange period. Like Cameron I decided to submit my synopsis, breakdown. Good idea, Cameron. Going through my timeline in this way helps. I don’t have everything buttoned down and want to emulate ‘Green Book’ which shows payoff after payoff. I have much to do. — I’m sorry but I had trouble tracking and understanding what was going on, I went back to your Day 2 assignment to read your main conflict and character arcs but I also had trouble tracking and understanding that as well, my suggestion is to boil down your answers to all of Hal’s questions so that there’s one clear thought or phrase that depicts your intentions, obviously you know what you are going for but I was not able to get it, though the plot doesn’t seem complicated…it feels convoluted, I’m sorry I am not better able to digest this assignment for you, I hope at least some of my comments below are a little helpful

1. SETUP: Give us a paragraph or two about the first two acts so we’ll understand the story.

Two protagonists. Romance. Roy’s girl, Nurse Suzy, moved out and Roy, 67, veteran, needs a more permanent retirement plan. He tries jail, but the food sucks, so he aims to land in Nurse Suzy’s hospital ward, which has better conditions. He goads an inmate in jail to beat him and nearly dies. (Inciting incident, Roy)

Kim, 60s, artist, who was kicked out of her own house, returns to claim her right and is thrown down a staircase by her sister in law, Ingrid. (Inciting incident, Kim) and lands in the same hospital ward as Roy. Suzy wants to help Roy get his own life and contacts a lawyer who’s anxious to date Suzy. They learn that Roy declared himself dead, and to get his benefits, must bring him back to a ‘live’ status.

2. PLOT POINT 2 — A major twist that sends the story towards its final destination.

The meet cute When Roy and Kim meet, they’re smitten with each other. Roy helps Kim to escape her brother’s plot to institutionalize her. (Opponents plot) When Kim escapes, she helps a woman, Marilyn, in a boutique, and ‘borrows’ Marilyn’s car. Marilyn, frail, gets home late and her dogs mow her down. She breaks her hips and ends in Suzy’s hospital ward. (Inciting incident, Marilyn) Marilyn is desperate for someone to take care of her dogs, and solicits Suzy to check in on them. Suzy wants to hook Roy up with the dogs which is also a place to stay. — plot point 2 is supposed to be a scene at the end of act two but it sure seems like a lot is happening here, do roy and kim really meet for the first time at the end of the 2nd act? wouldn’t that be late for your story? perhaps all this is meant to be part of the setup/first 2 acts, is it just the dogs opportunity that really sends it into Act 3? is that even a major twist? tbh I’m not tracking the multiple storylines very well

3. CRISIS — The decision point. In court, Roy is ordered to find a permanent residence in 6 weeks or be assigned a financial guardian. His benefits are established, and the back-payments pay his debts. (Clock ticking. Roy has lost his battle to reject being a citizen- aka, not be ‘dead’) Kim squats in a theatre and uses the office to copy papers and mail letters. (Protagonist fight back against the opponents)

Brian and Ingrid (opponents move) stole Kim’s identity and money, and now forge Kim’s signature to steal her half of the house. Ingrid will enlist her lover and Brian’s coworker, Oren, to falsely notarize their revised house deed and take Kim’s name off of the house. Roy and Kim meet up again while squatting at the Bellevue. They hang out together, and take a trip to Atlantic City. Kim inadvertently triggers a PTSD attack in Roy, and they split. (Crisis) They individually make their ways back to Philly. Suzy, dating the lawyer and still pet sitting for Marilyn, is anxious to get Roy to take over the pet sitting. When Suzy sees Roy, she presses him to help her. He declines.

3. CRISIS #2 — The decision point. Roy tries to get an apartment, as per court order, and is rejected. He spots a film crew and pretends he has a gig to work with them. The work doesn’t trigger his PTSD. That’s a surprise. It’s because of Kim.

Roy still needs a place to live and doesn’t have Kim. His body is broken. Kim hijacks her brother, Brian, (opponent) in her car (which he stole) and takes him on a harrowing ride to threaten him to straighten up. He digs in with his efforts to ruin Kim. (down ending)

Same note as plot point 2 – isn’t the crisis just supposed to be 1 scene or a short sequence at most? you have a lot a stuff happening, and for me I am having trouble understanding the crises decisions

4. CLIMAX — Bring the Protagonist face to face with the Antagonist to face his biggest fear.

Act Three Kim goes to the hospital to ask Suzy about Roy. Marilyn recognizes Kim and presses her to pet sit. Kim learns that Marilyn’s woes are her fault. Kim can’t bear herself. She’s guilted into pet sitting. Suzy will show her the ropes. While she’s pet sitting, Roy learns where Kim is and goes to Marilyn’s to find Kim. They hook up.

Kim finds Roy’s medal and he risks PTSD to tell her why they gave it to him. Kim meets the lawyer, Denny. Meanwhile, Kim’s letters, aka whistleblowing, have reached the bank and Federal authorities, Brian and Ingrid’s co-conspirator, Oren, is caught and tells all about Brian and Ingrid. Kim and Roy sneak Marilyn’s dogs into the hospital to visit her. Marilyn meets Roy, finally. Kim confesses about Marilyn’s car. Marilyn isn’t buying it, but Kim leaves Roy with Marilyn and the dogs and escapes. Kim asks Suzy for (divulged later) the lawyer’s contact info. Roy, alone in Marilyn’s house with the dogs, hates being without Kim. He asks Suzy if she knows where Kim is.

5. RESOLUTION — Show the effects of the climax and tie up loose ends.

Unwritten.

Denny finds the flaws in the deed and makes calls. (Denny- lawyer’s office) Kim’s identity was stolen, too. Her bank accounts drained by Ingrid. Lawyer speaks with the men who are investigating Oren. Oren calls Ingrid to warn her. Ingrid packs a suitcase. Feds have Brian and Ingrid’s assets ceased as well as Oren’s. Brian, at the office, is called in for questioning. (at the bank) Agents stop Ingrid as she’s about to slip into an Uber. (cottage) Roy catches up with Kim. Kim asks Roy to come into her house, to live with him. And to have and to hold. — isn’t this the climax???

6. FINAL PAGE — The final minute of the movie.

Time passes. Roy is grilling. Kim’s garden blooms. Outdoor table set, festive. Suzy and Denny come to dinner carrying food. Marilyn, in a wheelchair, is there. The dogs run wild. — this is the Resolution

Kim brings a wine and chocolates to the table. — this is the final page, their conversation

7. FINAL LINE/IMAGE — An image or line that delivers the meaning of the whole movie.

Kim– do you think you can put up with me?

Roy. Are you going to keep running away?

Kim. Maybe. As long as you promise to follow. — excellent

Possible ending song: “You’re the Cream in My Coffee” You’re the cream in my coffee, You’re the salt in my stew, You will always be my necessity, I’d be lost without you.” 1928.

[Michael Katz]

Hi Dana,

PS81 – Dana’s Completed Third Act

This is great, developing very well.

FIRST TIME CALLER – love the title — each new personality should says this the first time they talk to Ellen!

OPENING: But low ratings, due to her inability to connect with callers, results in her show beings cancelled. — is the inability to connect going to be her change? or safe advice? original choice to have her be not good at the job to start and she should be great at it in the end, but is there a specific reason why she specifically was initially called/targeted in the first place???

Jason, Ryan, William, Bobby – not that these are similar names but none of them are standout, I got a little confused because I had trouble tracking these non-distinctive names, wondering…would it help or hinder to make 1 or 2 of the names more distinctive?

What’s the trigger that makes them toggle between each other? does she learn/stumble upon a particularly cool technique?

PLOT POINT 2

After great hardship, Ellen successfully brings William from the dark, believing the terrible situation will pressure his depressive personality into committing suicide and save her daughters. — what is the special skill that Ellen possesses or learns or changes into that enables bringing him from the dark? other than perseverance and desperation

CRISIS

He’s a psychopath, like Ryan. And now she’s dealing with two of them. — I hope the chances that 2 of the multiple personalities being murderous/psychotic are low/rare, and that you mention this fact early on and she dismisses the possibility

CLIMAX

Ellen pits the two psychotic personalities against one another, telling William that Ryan has cursed him and the other personalities by killing her husband. That he (William) will be sent back to the darkness, trapped in the abyss with the others forever once they send Jason to prison. She plays on his jealousy and anger, igniting the hate between the two personalities. — is she inventing a new treatment? based on some theory or research, or is it just experiential learning and her own insights? maybe play up this ingenious treatment that will be the new benchmark if deemed moral

Ryan drags Ellen’s oldest daughter into the room and threatens to kill her. With her daughter screaming in the background, Ellen escalates the battle between Ryan and William until the sound of a gunshot is heard and the call drops. Then silence. Ellen waits in horror until Sorensen burst into the studio. SWAT has reached the scene. Jason is dead. Her daughters are saved. — just want to make sure I read this right and that Ellen caused it, and not the cop

RESOLUTION

Sorensen walks Ellen to a waiting police car to take her to her daughters. She tries to thank him, but she’s too emotional for words. It’s their final moment.

Sorensen returns to the police station to a hero’s welcome. He wraps up the investigation with his team, resolving on the last details. But there are nagging questions. He’s told forget it. The case is over. Sitting as his desk, he receives a call from another psychiatrist. — she gets the call! Ellen is still on the air as a success! she takes the call

FINAL PAGE

FADE IN: Aerial shot of San Francisco. A voiceover of a local radio host talking about Ellen Landry. He takes several calls, pro and con, and then a caller named Steve is on air. But the voice if Ryan. — forget Steve, Ellen is still on the air as a success! she takes the call

How could he kidnap the Landry’s if he were still holding him? — why give this to the cop? in the Final page, shouldn’t her show now be a success with her having job security, it’s been a few weeks…then she gets this call from Green or Randy or Ryan

Hello, Brian. This is Maureen. What Dr. Ellen did was wrng. This was her patient. He needed help. And she pushes him to commit suicide? I mean, didn’t she swear an oath or something? I admit these were unusual circumstances, but she could have waited for the police to negotiate with this man. — I think this needs to be earlier, perhaps when she’s talking to one of the personalities, he makes her take calls, which she doesn’t want to do because of time, but they threaten her, then she has to defend herself live to the public, these calls could be very interesting to spur insights and press the ticking clock, this morality debate needs to occur in the moment or between moments, let the listening audience participate and offer theories and advice to her and play along, could be great fun and opportunities for twists

And a first time caller. — have this occur with Ellen as mentioned above

[Michael Katz]

Hi Anita,

For my feedback, I had genre confusion. At first it feels like a tearjerker drama, with either the daughter agreeing to help the mom and they live happily ever after (pro-life and second chances) or the daughter refuses to help the mom and the mom dies (just desserts). Those endings feel “inevitable” based on your setup and would give us understandable meanings. And are probably commercially viable in today’s climate.

Having Danica learn of her sickness at the end of Act Two feels extremely late in the structure, and your Crisis, which should really be only one scene, feels jam-packed and rushed because it has so much happening in it. Consider Plot Point 1 being Danica learning of her sickness, and the stuff in the Crisis being the beginning of Act Two. And if Harley really is trouble, let’s start seeing an inkling of that stuff in Act Two.

Your endings, wow! They definitely surprised us! However, for me, the endings you are trying don’t feel inevitable, and I’m having trouble understanding their meanings. Like one of your proposed endings makes me feel like you are saying that if you don’t abort your unwanted baby then the baby will grow up to be a murderous psychopath with a heart of gold. Another of your proposed endings inexplicably redeems Cyrus, and it just feels random and unearned. Each of your proposed endings completely changes the meaning you as the author are trying to convey. Where do you come out on this? It can’t just be whatever surprises us the most. Inevitable with meaning too.

Your subsequent explanation does help shed light on your aspirations of showing multiple points of view on this controversial area, so I would agree that your setup needs to help the audience understand your intended genre and plot choices. Just my thoughts trying to digest your movie. You obviously have a very specific vision, which is the most important thing, so keep working on trying to convey it more clearly to the audience.

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi June,

Would you like to exchange feedback?

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Dev,

Would you like to exchange critiques?

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Cameron,

Here’s a bit of feedback to consider as much as you feel appropriate…

MK notes on Cameron Martin’s Completed Third Act

2. PLOT POINT 2:

This fall breaks Isaiah’s mask and leads to him getting infected, moments away from when the exterminators will arrive to kill them. — sooo brutal and devastating, maybe Sully also had a hand in Beth’s accidental death too? (perhaps a parallel and already festering guilt to play with)

3. CRISIS:

he finally asks Isaiah to take the lead and get them to a medical area where Sully can try to save his son. — so Sully has to change and view his son as trustworthy and plenty capable

4. CLIMAX:

but loses the picture along the way… Isaiah apologizes for losing a picture of his mom that meant so much to Sully, but Sully tells his son that it was just a picture, and that his real mom can be found within them and how they work together — I might put this part here and have Sully, now changed, give his son the advice/encouragement/love of a fully trusting/present father

…break into the medical bay to execute them.

The exterminators break their way in … Markus is still able to get Sully and Isaiah to an escape ship — I would treat this as part of the climax

5. RESOLUTION:

Markus sends them off world, after he gets the two to promise to spread this coverup far and wide so everyone will know. — so this is a believable story and I wonder if it is because the ending is relatively small in scale – father and son survive, but since you don’t have the coup being successful there’s no immediate battle won, no saving of more people, no real hope of bringing down Hegemony or unraveling of the empire, just having the documents and a promise feels slightly unsatisfying, certainly not saying anyone here should be Luke Skywalker but perhaps wondering whether you are missing an opportunity to slightly push the credulity a little bit further here, In War of the Worlds Tom Cruise saves his family from the aliens and at the end of the film the alien threat is over so we feel satisfied, maybe we need just a little bit more to be satisfied, maybe rethink whether the coup was successful and perhaps Isaiah could sense that a certain person on the ship was the key bad guy and he helps take this guy out and this will make Markus have a more likely opportunity to correct a few things going on the planet, another area perhaps – maybe if you go with Sully having an accidental role in Beth’s death he could learn the truth that it was someone else who actually played the role and he could also get closure and heal that wound

6. FINAL PAGE:

Sully puts the documents aside and tucks Isaiah into his cryo-sleep chamber — Indiana Jones somehow always finds his hat and perhaps Sully should find Beth’s picture either in an unlikely place on Isaiah or stuck in the documents, but having worked together and healed their relationship the two of them sure have earned the reward of finding Beth’s photo

7. FINAL LINE/IMAGE:

Sully and Isaiah lay side by side, together. — excellent

[Michael Katz]

Hi Dana,

Can we exchange feedback?

Thank you,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Cameron,

Can we exchange feedback?

Thank you,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Lisa,

Can we exchange feedback?

Thank you,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Anita,

Can we exchange critiques?

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Arthur,

I had a few ideas for you that I wanted to share…

A. Concept: When a coronal mass ejection from the sun destroys all electronic technology on earth, six astronauts and one reporter on the international research spacecraft Reliant must adapt the experimental Tesla Shield technology that saved their spacecraft to shield humanity from a larger earth-destroying coronal mass ejection just days away.

Suggest giving the reader/listener a little context first – what’s going on with the sun that suddenly all this is happening

The distinction of the reporter is confusing, unrelated to anything else in the concept, and unnecessary to the concept – suggest deleting

Multiple CMEs feel very redundant even though they increase in strength/consequences

What if you start audiences with solar flares, which are much more familiar to viewers than CMEs and are quite known to still be capable of real damage, and the Reliant barely survives and earth is still electronically damaged (maybe not permanently destroyed but more believably all power is knocked out)…then you can dramatically increase the movie’s stakes with the imminent more dangerous CME — give viewers a nice terrifying dramatic computer simulation science lesson as to why CMEs are much bigger and much more badder than solar flares. Scare the shit out of us. Plus it gives the viewer a completely different more complex visual too at the end. Instead of the same thing repeated. So then…in the beginning they just have to quickly get the shield working for the solar flare, but then for the CME they have to completely redesign the whole thing for a much different shield problem and a much wider shield problem. That’s ratcheting it up in 2 different ways.

It’s the “escalating nonsense” thing (a terrific note!)

Just playing with the concept: With the sun’s 11-year solar cycle peaking with record activity, the earth takes a direct hit from a massive solar flare that knocks out all of humanity’s electronic technology, and now the international research spacecraft Reliant, who used an experimental Tesla Shield to save their spacecraft from the solar flare, must jerry-rig the Tesla Shield to protect the entire earth from an even more catastrophic, planet-destroying coronal mass ejection from the sun just two days away.

THEME: I liked your previous theme much better about working together, and so in keeping with that theme, what if you add another crazy subplot…what if another obstacle they face is that they also need (must have!) something from earth, and earth, working together, is able to — somehow — send that particular essential item up to them…just in time. So the mission retrieval thing you have gets one kind of necessity and then the subplot of the countries of earth figuring out how to work together to send another vital component — and perhaps these items are completely different in subject and form, or…perhaps they need to be combined and…work together…

If by chance you have a moment to look at my Outline Version 2, I’d be much obliged. Don’t think I’ll have time for a Version 3, so I’d love to have another critique in addition to Matthew’s (if he can).

Thank you,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Matthew,

I just posted my Version 2.

Thank you!

[Michael Katz]

Hi Matthew,

I agree with Dana’s notes on the outline, so no need for me to reiterate.

Some pretty good stuff for you to consider!

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Matthew,

You’ve got a nice timely dystopian concept!

Here are the first half of my notes.

Matthew Frendo’s Outline Version 1

A. Concept: What if the judicial system was switched to social media voting, with those found guilty having to go through livestreamed battles and deadly challenges as people at home vote on their punishment?

———

As written it feels more like a premise, rather than a concept that describes the movie

Perhaps go back to the concept day and further elevate it

Would add some context up top

Use more phrasing that we are familiar with to describe the issue

We need the characters, the goal, and a hook

Just playing: It’s the year 2050, and our judicial system now determines sentences for guilty criminals by social media voting, however, the live-streamed battles and deadly challenges as voted on by viewers at home has become increasingly unfair and merciless because of corruption within the governing body, and a movement begins to bring about criminal justice reform…from the inside.

——

B. Plot Choice: Ascension – give us a sentence explaining

—— heroes sort of ascend into greatness but really for this kind of brutal story…16. Sacrifice in is order, it’s a cause worthy of sacrifice, wouldn’t overthink it

C. Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle – give us a sentence explaining

D. Lead Characters (*Name* is an *identity* who *does X in the story*.):

Alicia is a hardened criminal who doesn’t care about anyone…until she meets young rebel named Jocelyn in the games.

—— gives us her crime, tells us a lot about the person, need an age

Jocelyn is a young girl who put herself in the games to help the rebels beat the authority after they destroyed her mother.

—— seeking revenge

—— confusing what “destroyed” means, need a more fitting word, need an age

—— using rebels and authority feels weird if we are talking the United States, even if in the future

Nick is a criminal in the games who works with Alicia…but is secretly there to make sure Jocelyn dies in a way that helps the rebel cause.

—— his motivation is confusing, he’s a plant/spy? say who he is working for, is he just doing this to make his sentence more lenient? then finally he is swayed to join the cause? (I’m guessing not having read further)

E. Dramatic Question: Will the rebels be able to topple the authority and change the system?

—— does using rebels and authority fit your vision more than using phrasing like overthrow the government and achieve criminal justice reform?

F. Main Conflict: Can Alicia and her fellow prisoners make it through the punishment games and survive?

—— not sure saying prisoners is incorrect, but maybe they are more her fellow prison inmates?

G. Dilemma: Will Alicia escape with her own life or fulfill her promise to Jocelyn and help the rebels?

— to help the rebels

H. Theme: To be the hero you truly are, you must sacrifice what you used to be.

—— yes, sacrifice!, not ascension

—— being a hero is not the goal, criminal just reform is the goal, so the theme is not that you have to sacrifice to be a hero, it’s that you have to sacrifice to achieve your goal, no? some causes are worth dying for

I. Character Arc of Lead Character (if any):

Part to be changed: Alicia is a hardened criminal who cares about no one and nothing.

—— she better not start caring about Jocelyn and the cause too fast then, incremental

Biggest fear: not being able to save her loved ones

—— does she have this fear in the beginning? I thought she was hardened?

Completion of arc: puts others above herself as she fulfills a promise and helps the rebels at the expense of her own personal safety

—— yes, but say it more cleanly

J. Structure of your screenplay (9 beats, one sentence each):

1. Opening Host gives intro into the event and the people who were chosen, including a girl named Alicia.

—— your 1 sentence should still give us some setup and context details, what kind of event?, say who the people are

2. Inciting Incident. The prisoners’ loved ones are kept in a cage with a bomb…and if they don’t go through the challenges quickly enough, the bomb goes off.

—— oof brutal

—— but you have to say what is happening to Alicia

—— instead of saying “if”, try “because” – instead of just giving us the scenario, tell us the plot, what happens

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. First person dies horribly in event after losing their challenge, setting things in motion.

—— Alicia survives, however she is horrified/unnerved/shocked that one of her fellow inmates…

4. First turning point at end of Act 1 They are all is pulled into fake room off camera and find out Jocelyn is there as part of a resistance. They can’t tell anyone or the authorities will kill them all, so now they almost have to help her.

—— confusing, fake room? who put them there/why, Jocelyn reveals

5. Mid-Point Young innocent Jocelyn is killed in the contest unfairly…and Sam makes sure the audience sees it in horrifying detail. It starts a riot in the streets.

—— young innocent is earlier character description, by mid-point you don’t say it

—— who is rioting? viewers at home take to the streets?

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2. Rebels take down games and transmission altogether by wiping out power in whole city. Chaos begins as the revolution is now underway.

—— rebels wipe out power, interrupt transmission, and the games are halted (in order of what’s happening, what we’re seeing)

—— describe the chaos with a few examples

7. Crisis. Alicia has a choice: she can help the rebels (and save Jocelyn’s mother like she promised) or escape with her own life.

—— Instead of saving herself, Alicia decides…

—— turn all the writer placeholders into descriptive actions

8. Climax Alicia finds the people who put here there and rebel leaders who let Jocelyn die making a deal in the first challenge room. She walks in. They offer her a great life to join them and keep quiet. They want to make her a hero that everyone will love and their mascot-type. She shows them that the cameras are on, and the world is watching. Then she locks them in the first punishment room and social media starts voting on what they will go through.

—— who put her there

—— confusing 1st sentence, Alicia confronts…refuses their clemency offer, and exacts revenge by having home viewers vote their punishment.

—— I guess the power is back on?

9. Resolution She leaves the challenges a hero to the people.

—— but did she change the system? or just topple the authority?

—— if you go with the death by irony, which is fun, then how is she any better? and how is the system changed? you’ll need to come up with a clever solve that doles out fair justice

—— it’s not satisfying if the hero keeps the system in place

—— my pitch…the social media voting decides whether the judge’s sentencing is fair and appropriate, and if found guilty of being unfair in their sentencing…they suffer the consequences of the games — ironic ending, clever, fairer, the people enforce fairness, the people judge the judge!, and perhaps your resolution is showing the first example of the new system using the presiding judge and other baddies who were behind all the corruption and they all get their comeuppance but it’s deserved as determined by the new system of justice

Will have to read the outline tonight)

Thanks,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Matthew,

Sure, I will try to have feedback for you in the morning.

I’d love for you to give feedback after I post my Version 2 — I want to first incorporate Cameron’s notes from earlier today.

Thank you,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Cameron Martin Open Wide

Hi Cameron,

Interesting mashing of interpersonal with special needs story with science fiction.

I think you are close.

Did you watch War of the Worlds? Imagine Tom Cruise playing Sully.

Or John Krasinski in A Quiet Place.

Father’s keeping their families safe from aliens, and having to deal with interpersonal relationship stuff along the way

I think you are intending to heal their relationship but you don’t have them really going through the steps – they just run and run.

Each obstacle should be an opportunity for relationship growth.

Each obstacle one trusts the other to lead the way – and they take turns.

Father is a carpenter, but you don’t use it.

Give the boy a clear skill.

Open Wide – not sure the title fits, are these worms eating people? or just infecting them with bites? or are they in their bloodstream?

Title has to hint at special needs boy story, no? – like A Quiet Place has a deaf girl, here the aliens and colony and the liquidators should all have some connection or allegory to special needs child, should build the world organically out of some special skill the special needs boy has, thematically you are choosing the setting because you have Isaiah, the aliens only make sense because of Isaiah

Please keep in mind that as I read, I just wrote down what came to mind…unfiltered and straightforward.

Outline reads very well, I could follow the action very well for the most part, you have great twists and predicaments!

A. Concept:

A father must survive an outbreak of alien parasitic worms that infect everyone in his commune, including his special needs son.

What kind of father? needs an adjective, single father or the element he has to change

There’s no context in your concept. Reader has no idea the situation as to how an outbreak like this could possibly happen. It needs desperately needs a setup like the “in a world where…” just in different words.

Without context…“commune” seems like a peculiar choice.

Special needs son…comes out of the blue and doesn’t seem related to the concept.

So overall as written I don’t really get it. It’s a bunch of interesting but disparate components shoved together without a fascinating hook.

What about: In a colonized planet in another solar system, a single father and his special needs son must work together and heal their relationship to survive a deadly outbreak of alien parasitic worms that infect everyone in his commune.

B. Plot Choice:

Escape – good

C. Character Structure:

#2 Buddy Movie – maybe not, are there buddy horror movies? does the boy change at the end? should you even have a special needs boy need to change at the end? at 10 years old unless he’s getting over the loss of his mom or needs to stop blaming his father, so does he need to change his behavior?, you would need to develop the boy’s change arc

might just be Dad vs the world, and he has to change and heal his relationship with his son to survive and keep his family safe

D. Lead Characters

Sully is the parent of a special needs child who struggles find a way to save both himself and his child from inevitable death. — struggles to find / he / from dying from alien infection

Isaiah is a developmentally delayed 8-10 year old who’s mannerisms have become more severe since the loss of his mother, and struggles to find his identity with the only parent he has left. — cleaner to just say 10-year-old / whose / what kind of mannerisms? needs an adjective / he struggles / is it his identity that is the issue or the relationship with his father? do 10-year-olds struggle with their identities?

Are you ready to give them last names?

E. Dramatic Question:

Will the father be able to save his son? – clean

F. Main Conflict:

Almost everything in the world, from alien hosts to conscripted liquidators, is trying to kill the two.

Father and son are trying to escape a deadly and dangerous world.

G. Dilemma:

Will Sully be patient and team up with his special needs son, or will he limit and confine him for his own good?

Without context “limit” is a confusing word.

…because he thinks his son is a burden that will get them killed.

H. Theme:

Genuine communication and collaboration is necessary for survival. – good

Not sure you need “genuine”

I. Character Arc of Lead Character (if any):

From impatient and unsure father to confident and collaborative parent. – excellent

J. Structure of your screenplay (9 beats, one sentence each):

1. Opening: Sully works on a project for his superiors while wrangling a child adamant on drawing as much attention as possible.

Even in the 1 sentences, we still need the context and important details

Sully is a what who is working on a what project while trying to wrangle his special needs child who is uncontrollable and causing embarrassing disruption in the office.

2. Inciting Incident: An alarm goes off, warning the colonists to gather in a bunker to wait out an infestation of parasitic alien worms until liquidators can arrive to exterminate the worms, but Sully can’t find his child before the bunker closes shut.

A siren warns

“liquidators” is an interesting choice – is that what they are called?

exterminators can arrive to eradicate/extinguish/eliminate

bunker is sealed

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Sully starts coming up with a plan for him and his son to survive and find a way inside the sealed bunker.

while trying to find

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Sully sets out on his own after locking his son in a secure location.

5. Mid-Point: Sully reaches the bunker but discovers all the residents were infected and are now monsters. Sully’s child is able to save him after breaking out of his confinement, but gets infected as a brood mother as a result.

Brutal!

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The liquidators arrive to kill the infected and any survivors, but Sully and his son find a way to sneak onto the liquidator’s vessel to get back to earth.

7. Crisis: Sully and his son are caught, and they fight through hell to stay alive and get to a medical bay.

“through hell” – stay grounded, they fight to stay alive

8. Climax: Sully seals himself and his son in the medical bay and they work together to extract the parasites within him before they hatch.

“he and his son” is they are doing something, and “him and his son” if something is happening to them, right???

9. Resolution: Sully and his son save themselves, forming a closer relationship than either could’ve imagined after the torture they endured together – delete

and form an extremely tight and loving bond.

Outline

INT. APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Flash forward of Sully holding his son, Isaiah (about 8-10 years old), who is coughing uncontrollably. Sully apologizes to his son before a shotgun blast is heard.

Not sure about this scene being the opening image – I’m not understanding, you are in space, we need a little sci-fi, no?

INT. SPACE COLONY – NEW CONSTRUCTION ZONE – DAY

Establish the space colony on another planet, as we follow Sully working as a master carpenter with a team of other workers. One of the workers runs into a problem, but Sully is able to save the construction site and the workers.

so he’s got some skills – good

CONT.

Isaiah sneaks into the construction site and asks his dad to spend the day with him. Sully tells him to go back to his virtual class, explaining there’s a lot of work he has to do, and that the construction site is no place for children.

a little young to be unsupervised, did he ditch someone first, and then sneak…

explaining or threatening discipline? – father should be exasperated and short fused, show bad relationship without making the father evil

CONT.

Isaiah sneaks off to pull a prank on his dad, nearly hurting a number of workers in the process. Isaiah runs away, scared of the punishment he’ll receive. Sully is then called into his manager’s office.

pull a prank? or do something loving or to get attention that backfires

or is he a completely a troublemaker/bad seed? – which I don’t think you want to make a movie about a special needs kid and him be a terrible person

INT. CONSTRUCTION ZONE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY

Sully informs his boss that Isaiah is mentally delayed in some areas, but the boss tells Sully he must get his child under control. Boss- “This is space! We can’t take risks here, or lives will be lost!” An alarm goes off warning of aliens.

INT. SPACE COLONY – VARIOUS – DAY

Everyone is moving in a rapid but orderly manner, except Sully who’s fighting against the crowd to get to his son.

CONT.

A family of three argue to get their teenage son, who’s looking sick, into the bunker with them.

INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Sully searches for his son high and low, but each time he gets close, Isaiah runs away.

Does the kid think it is a game? does he understand the sirens, but is punishing bad daddy?, we know dad loves his son but is exasperated, just trying to figure out the kid’s motivation, so I guess it is unclear so far

INT. BUNKER – DAY

The family of three make it into the bunker and start looking for medical supplies, when their son passes out. A doctor starts administering treatment.

is the doctor not following safety protocol? quarantining, or are these alien parasite worms new to the colony and nobody understands the contagious predicament

INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – DAY

Sully is able to coax Isaiah out of hiding, and they both run to the bunker.

with a promise? a toy, give us some insight

INT. BUNKER – DAY

Teenager wakes up very sick, and his compulsive coughing and vomiting up blood cracks his jaw and tears the seams of his mouth.

holy shit!

INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

Sully and Isaiah get to the bunker too late. It’s sealed shut. They’re stuck on the outside with the aliens.

we need some description of the aliens, what are they up against, immediate danger?

CONT.

An alien worm discovers and pursues them. Sully runs with Isaiah in tow, and manages to lock the alien behind a door.

does the worm slither, fly, swarm? fast or slow? how big is it? do they have an agenda?

CONT.

More alien worms come out of hiding and hunt them. However, a frail old lady who didn’t make it to the bunker takes Sully and Isaiah to her room where she believes they can fortify their position and prepare for the worst to come.

instead of old lady, you could make it a prospective partner for the father and mother for the kid, and sci-fi loves a pretty woman, it could be a nice subplot, but alas you need to quickly kill her because the point of the movie is the boy and father relationship is paramount

INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

They make it to a corner room of the Old Lady’s apartment and slam the door on the aliens. The Old Lady teaches Sully to makeshift a weapon, and the two fight off the hostile aliens.

Lady maybe teaches an ingenius technique with smells or light to keep the worms at bay, but shouldn’t all weapon making be left to the skilled carpenter father?

CONT.

Isaiah picks up a weapon and swings it wildly. Sully gets the weapon back, but not before getting hit with it. Sully- “You don’t have a say! You don’t have any privileges! You do what I say, when I say it, or else!”

Isaiah could pick up a regular household item and though he’s being dangerous it sparks an idea for a better weapon than the one Sully just made

CONT.

Sully and Old Lady fortify apartment, while Isaiah sulks in the corner. Old Lady comforts Isaiah and introduces herself as a spy for the Hegemony.

for the Hegemony, a [description please!]

INT. SPACE SHIP – CRYO-BUNKS

A passenger wakes up to an alert, along with the rest of the ship. The passenger is a foreigner among a crew that speaks a different language.

INT. SPACE SHIP – LUNCH HALL

The passenger learns with the rest of the ship that their voyage has been redirected, and that the passengers are now conscripts to wipe out an outbreak of alien parasites and any survivors not in their designated bunker.

INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

Sully asks why the spy isn’t in the bunker. The spy reveals that she’s infected, and tells Sully to take it easy because they’re all going to die, regardless of what they do.

INT. SPACE SHIP – HANGER

The passengers are equipped with 3-D printed weapons that have one short range round each. The passenger we’ve followed takes a stand, and other passengers join in a protest.

Easier to follow if you give the passenger a name – oh wait, you are killing him???

INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

Sully asks why the spy helped them if they’re going to die anyways. The spy explains that she’s making peace with GOD, as she was sent to cover up the Hegemony’s involvement with the escalating outbreaks of aliens. She takes a lethal injection that kills her and the alien eggs inside of her as they’re hatching.

does she leave them with any good advice? or does she give sully more of the injection…just in case?

INT. SPACE SHIP – HANGER

The protestors are publicly executed as an example for anyone who’s unwilling to follow the orders.

INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

Sully discovers a way inside the bunker by reviewing schematics left behind by the spy. He decides he’s going to try and save his and his son’s lives.

INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS/HALLWAYS – NIGHT

Sully locks Isaiah in a closet to keep him safe while he ventures out alone to find out if the schematics are correct. He apologizes but insists it’s for his own good.

He tells him he is leaving? or just distracts him and goes?

EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT

Sully climbs across a bridge in a ventilation suit, looking out for any other worms or spore nests. His weight puts too much pressure on one point, but it holds…for now.

confusing…pressure on one point of what? the bridge? this is not its intended purpose? – you are probably foreshadowing but there has to be some logic to the danger

INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

Isaiah is able to find a way out of his confinement and track down his dad – delete.

is this a callback to how he escaped the apartment originally – or is he macguver too?

EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT

Isaiah runs across the walkway in an oversized ventilation suit. He comes across the same weak point his dad came across, and goes around it.

Isaiah knows to wear a suit? he understands a weak point in the bridge? – why have a weak point if nobody falls? how does the boy have tracking skills?

INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT

Sully drops into the bunker and discovers all of the residents are now alien hosts, including the teenager and his family. He tries to fight back, but there’re too many of them, and he can’t reach the escape.

you need a scene right before showing Sully finding the entry point according to the schematics

INT/EXT. SPACE COLONY – BUNKER/WALKWAY – NIGHT

Isaiah is able to save his dad at the last moment by dropping a line for him, and the two escape.

not exactly believable, the boy doesn’t have the schematics, the boy can’t lift a grown man

EXT. SPACE COLONY – WALKWAY – NIGHT

Isaiah insists on a different way from his Dad. With the hosts still tailing them, Sully pushes Isaiah in the direction he believes they need to go, leading to Isaiah falling through the same weak point as before, onto an alien spore nest that infects Isaiah.

Oh that’s poor parenting) and the guilt trip would be insufferable!

But why does the kid know better? need to establish that he has a skill that his dad is ignoring

INT. SPACE COLONY – ALIEN SPORE NEST/VENTS – NIGHT

Sully, holding his breath, pulls Isaiah out of the nest and places replaces Isaiah’s broken ventilation mask with his. He kills another host and seals the way to them as best he can.

INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT

Sully and Isaiah make it back to their hideout. Though Sully is upset that Isaiah left the safety of the closet he was in, he thanks Isaiah for saving him, and admits he should’ve listened.

They need to go to the next location, don’t go back to the same hideout, give us something else

INT/EXT. SPACE COLONY – NIGHT

The Liquidators arrive in force to exterminate the alien threat and any infected, while Sully gathers as much of the Spy’s evidence as he can. Sully and Isaiah try to hide, but Isaiah develops a cough, drawing the attention of liquidators and aliens alike.

CONT.

Sully apologizes to his son and asks him for help, while the two are surrounded. A shotgun blast goes off, killing one of the hosts, while two more tear into a liquidator.

Confusing, sully asks whom for help? what kind of help?, surrounded by liquidators or by worms? who is shooting? this is important action and needs to be clear

INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS AND HIDEAWAYS – NIGHT

Isaiah and Sully try sneaking around the carnage surrounding them, but Liquidators find and chase after the two. Sully releases the alien worm he locked up earlier, and the two make a break for it and escape.

So did Sully already know about the dangers of liquidators?

And does not sacrificing one life to save many have validity? or Isaiah is more important to him than the rest of humanity on the planet, it’s not like the liquidators are evil people…unless they know about a cure???

INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL – NIGHT

Sully and Isaiah make it to the ship, but are found out due to Isaiah’s coughing that’s getting worse. With nowhere else to hide, the two run like hell to the Medical Bay.

too much for 1 scene, break this up so each thing gets full action and thrill

INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT

They make it to the medical bay and lock themselves inside. Meanwhile, military and liquidators try to break in to kill the two. Sully and Isaiah work together, against the clock, to extract the alien eggs that are growing rapidly in Isaiah’s chest.

do they hurt the nurses and doctors already in the medical bay? hard to believe empty

break this up into scenes, they get inside and barricade themselves in, next scene they are have a good conversation about feelings when suddenly the boy doesn’t feel well…, then medical procedure

CONT.

The extracted eggs start to hatch, but Sully pours a liquid substance over the hatching worms, killing them.

Make it like weed killer spray 😉

So there is a cure??? why isn’t it readily available on the planet? why didn’t the doctor have some for that sick teenager?

INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT

Sully holds his son close as military personnel break in. Sully reveals the Hegemony’s involvement with the outbreaks, but an officer pulls out his firearm to shoot the father and son.

CONT.

The liquidators form a wall around Sully and retaliate against the officer and his men, setting the stage for a mutiny.

The politics of this are not sticking with me, I don’t understand the mutiny

INT. LIQUIDATOR’S VESSEL/ESCAPE POD – NIGHT

One of the conscripted liquidators gathers up Sully’s documents and gets Sully and his son to an escape pod. He hands the documents to Sully and tells them to get the word out.

Why isn’t this the foreign passenger you introduced earlier but then executed? maybe create a subplot where the passenger makes the politics more clear and then aids their escape at the end

INT. ESCAPE POD/SPACE

Sully and Isaiah are jettisoned from the vessel aboard an escape pod. Sully holds Isaiah tight, as the two watch the planet they were colonizing fade into the distance.

Being in an escape pod with no plan, no destination, and no allies is not the most hopeful ending

What’s the takeaway? learn to better love your son and live 1 more day, don’t you want them to be safe safe at the end, or are you imagining a sequel)

And where’s the father/son relationship fixing? you have to have the dad love his son and make us cry

Hopefully some of my feedback helps, opportunities to elevate

Nice work, Cameron!

[Michael Katz]

Hi Cameron,

Would you like to exchange outline critiques?

I will work on yours in the morning.

Thank you,

Michael

[Michael Katz]

Hi Anita,

I apologize regarding the Quest thought – it was late and I wasn’t thinking. Obviously you aren’t writing an action/adventure.

Transformation: she transforms into a mother. Happy ending. Though, but for her not getting sick…who knows though, right? So should we all hope to get sick so we have an opportunity for a second chance to explore key decisions of our past that may or may not have been a mistake? Heavy thought.

<font face=”inherit”>As someone who is writing about punishing greedy </font>corporations<font face=”inherit”> and destroying the world, just want to offer an alternative with a possible down ending that you may want to consider depending on what you want to say as a writer. Whether she and her daughter have a reconciled relationship at the end or not (up to you) and whether the daughter donates her kidney or not (up to you), the main character still</font><font face=”inherit”> dies at the end.</font>

Emotionally heart-wrenching endings make good movies too.

17. Discovery

This plot is more about the character making the discovery than it is about the discovery itself. This story is often about having to reconcile past versus the new present for the character. “You were, you are, you will be” is how the story is delivered. The characters are searching to understand something fundamental about themselves. Usually, the character is already on the cusp of change. We get a glimpse of the main character’s “former life,” but quickly move into the present and future. A catalyst forces a significant change and the character moves into the crisis. Revelations are made along the way in proportion to the events of the story. The character is being forced to look at their life for real and take stock of who he or she really is. In the end, they emerge much wiser, although often, they do so only just before dying.

Anyway, just had the thought. That’s all. Not saying it is better or more appropriate. Just different. Depends what you want to say as a writer.

[Michael Katz]

Forgot to mention…you may want to consider switching Dramatic Plots:

1. Quest

The protagonist goes off in search of something extremely important to him or her. The story is about the character who makes the search, not about the thing they are searching for. Often, the quest comes full circle and sees the hero return to the place they began, but something is very different about them — sometimes physically, but always an increase in wisdom.

You will still have all the deep thinking and feeling, debates, and change. But the plot might have a better structure.

[Michael Katz]

Hi Anita,

Here are a few thoughts on your SLW Version 2:

First read of your concept is that it has a terrific ironic twist. Heart-wrenching irony for the mom, who has to decide whether to be shameless in the ask. The daughter is going to rip her. But I can also hear the reverse guilt trip logic: hey maybe I did abandon you, but at least I didn’t kill you, you want to abandon me fine, we don’t have to have a relationship, but please don’t kill me, I need that kidney.

But listen…so your actual scene outline isn’t what I thought we were getting from your concept. What you wrote in your outline is half the movie about the lack of access and decision to abandon the baby, and then only at the midpoint do we get the ironic twist. Isn’t that too long to wait for the part of the movie that is actually fascinating. The ironic twist should happen around page 10, no?

Based on what you wrote for your concept, this would be the structure:

A young woman who can’t access an abortion abandons her baby at birth – the abandonment happens in the first scene

only to learn years later that the child is her best hope for a life-saving transplant — flash forward 20 years later, she gets diagnosis, and then on page 10 this ironic twist, rest of act 1 is her refusal to be shameless, but the Act 1 turning point is her health worsens so she relents at her husband’s request

leading her to search for a daughter she never wanted — this is act 2, reconnecting with the daughter so she’ll give up the kidney

You can still have all the debate, legal discussions in Act 2 between the mom and daughter – and perhaps it’s the daughter who is the legal expert with all the arguments

And…you need 1 more line to end your concept, because right now it is incomplete, Hal says your concept has to convey the entire movie.

If we continue…and just playing around…

Mid act 2 – Pitch: Maybe you could parallel the daughter getting preggers too.

Act 2 turning – Mom is dying, the daughter still says no, mom goes home to be with husband

Act 3 – Daughter shows up a week later to give kidney, touch and go, nurses mom back to health

Resolution – daughter has baby, mom now has both a daughter and a granddaughter…and her health

Other option: Whole movie is about deciding whether to abandon, and then have the ironic twist at the very end where the daughter says no way to the mom.

You have a terrific ironic twist. But you have to figure out the best structure for it.

Or write the concept to better convey the structure you envision.