Michael Masurkevitch
Forum Replies Created
-
I, Michael Masurkevitch, agree to the terms of this release form.
1. Your name.
2. The words “I agree to the terms of this release form.”
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to. -
Michael’s Outline
What I learned: once again its amazing how much creativity is a process, and amazing how the pieces come together. I learned that sometimes the best way to find what’s missing is to put all the pieces in around it, and then – like a puzzle – the shape of what’s missing will begin to show in what’s around it.
Whats missing? Comedy. From the food, the bathroom, the “just hold it out of the way.” a bidet? Basically just, more comedy.
Act 1:
Opening – Casey, Fred and Gerry run, carrying the plates.
Casey – Now!
Gerry lights up an explosion behind them.
Alarms blare. Gunfire lights behind them.
Other side of the fence, George fiddles with dials, carrying his equipment, hiding from alarms.
George
Yes! Ok, cue copter!
George looks to the sky, anxious.
Back to the compound. Casey, Gerry and Fred get to a barbed wire fence.
Gerry pulls out bottle of acid and sprays an arch on the metal fence. Acid sizzles.
Fred pulls out a machete and starts hacking through it. Casey pulls out her automatic rifle and starts trading fire.
Fred finishes. “Lets go!”
Casey and Gerry dive through the fence as Fred puts away his machete.
Fred gets hit. Screams.
Casey and Gerry turn.
Casey grabs the plates. Gerry moves the grenades to her other arm to help Fred.
Casey
There isn’t time.
Flashlights behind them, voices. Gerry and Casey look back. Fred moans.
Gerry
Do we–
Casey whips out her gun and fires. Gerry reacts with shock.
They share a look. Run.
George stares at his instruments.
Where is it! Come on, Its’ time!
He looks at his dial and sees three dots moving towards him. He talks into his radio.
Guys, your tail is hot!
They come over the hill.
Gerry
Where the hell’s our wings?
George
I don’t know, nobody’s answering–
Casey
The car!
They turn and run towards a car. Helicopters come towards them
George
Is that ours?
Casey
Wrong direction get in
George takes a bullet. Casey starts the car.
Gerry throws a grenade behind her. Opens the back seat and helps George in. Glares at Casey who rolls her eyes.
Gerry’s in.
Drive.
George moans in pain.
‘Where’s Fred?’
Gerry (cold)
Didn’t make it. Where are you hit?
George
Missed my heart…. Maybe got my lungs…
Coughs up blood.
Gerry
He needs a hospital
Casey
Not a chance.
Gerry, in the back, starts bandaging George.
George
So, where are we going?
Casey
Far. Fast. I dunno.
They pass a sign. “Ashram and Hospice”
Gerry
Hospice! Casey–
Casey
No.
George
Maybe they got drugs…
A deer on the road. Casey swerves.
Suddenly they burst through trees and Casey drives erratically, dodging foliage.
George is laughing. At least I get to go in style.
Ahead, a massive wooden (sign? wall?) Casey screeches to a halt and the car runs into a tree.
The Engine billows smoke. Gerry helps George out, coughing. Casey comes out, gun ready to fire, staring around them.
Guru, gardening naked, stands up slowly. “Ah, hello travellers. I wondered why I wanted to garden at two in the morning. Come, come. Your friend needs attention.”
Act 2:
Monks come out of the Monastary. One brings a stretcher, “I just had this weird urge”
George makes a quip, and passes out. They whisk him away.
Casey is like “but the car” – isn’ going anywhere.
“Can we move it?” – sure, pull it wherever you want.
Exhaustion hits Casey – she is still human. Gerry pulls her along, she carries the plates. Guru shows them to a room.
Next Day
Casey has a rough night.
wants to get going, Gerry suggests they check on George
George is dying, Healer says they will pray for George, Casey and Gerry believe that means he is dead. Reveal Casey is Christian but thinks they are all not worth saving and Gerry is staunchly atheist and doesn’t believe in ghosts or souls.
Casey wants to leave, worried they will get caught. Gerry says ‘so what – leave George, or shoot him like Fred?’
Guru shows up as if magic, “how? Where are you going? You have no car. Stay, you are safe here.” (Maybe points out that main road is very busy ie. with cops?)They go out to the car. Casey wants to fix it, doesn’t super know how. Gerry has no idea, “I just blow things up”. Gerry meets Anu, and they hit it off.
Casey struggles with the car. No joy.
George wakes up to healer. He’s not doing great, but Healer is kind. He expresses wish to die, reveals estranged child. Healer is understanding but still calls him out a bit. He is taken aback… and drifts into pain>unconsciousness.
Casey and Gerry hide the plates together,buried in the mountainside. Then on their way back, they snoop around a bit – and notice a room full of gold. Casey wants to steal it.
They run into Guru, who gives them robes. Casey and Gerry refuse – and then look up to see FBI vehicles. They put them on.
Guru goes to see FBI. They are like “how long this car been here?” “Oh, who knows.” Gerry and Casey look – sure enough, its covered in vines and moss. The FBI look around, Guru covers, they leave.
As they leave, the monks come and look at them warily. Anu is distant to Gerry.
Guru says, they can rest there tonight, but it’s uneasy.
Casey has nightmare of Ghost of Fred. (or sees him at dinner?) But Guru sees Fred too.
Guru reaches out to Casey, they go for a walk, seems like they will connect – then hard emotions come up for Casey and she rejects Guru with harsh words.
Gerry goes to Anu and is real with him. Wants to hook up. Anu goes to Guru, uncomfortable about this. Guru tells him “what do you think you have a body for?”
Anu and Gerry hook up.
George wakes up, and is jonesing. He sees some of the medicinal herbs the Healer put on him, and does way too much.
He borderline OD’s, trapped in a scary pace in his head, but the Healer notices and goes into a trance. The Healer reaches George and pulls him out.
George almost “pulls the healer in with him” but healer pulls him out as he finds some inner strength/light. Guru comes in and chastises Healer, but then they look at George – who is floored, changed. Weeps, vows to live better.
Casey wakes up from bad dream to find everyone happy. Gerry and Anu work on garden together, flirting, having fun. George is reading in infirmary, learning how to meditate, and tells Casey about it – Casey is livid.
Midpoint Turning Point
Casey goes for a walk alone, and starts reliving childhood trauma. She gets angrier. Guru shows up, reaches out, and Casey loses it, screaming.
Casey gets her gun, pulls it out, and prepares to hold up the Ashram for the gold. She goes to get George and Gerry – they say No. They stand up to Casey to not rob the Ashram. Casey turns on them, says will take it all – alone. They stand firm, and Casey says, fine, she will take the plates. Alone.
Then goes to the plates – gone.
Act 3: Loot is Missing
Casey is enraged and starts fighting with George and Sarah. It looks like they are going to kill each other
They decide to question the Ashram instead
They round everyone up with their weapons, to start questionning
The Guru denies knowledge, and says that everyone is innocent.
Casey starts to get dark, violent.Roughouses Anu, Gerry steps in, and George chimes. Anu still looks at Gerry with hurt, and Gerry is hurt by this but stays business like.
Guru tells them, its’ time for bed. Casey says, nobody leaves until its found. Guru says, “where is it going to go? Lets go to bed – you stay up and keep watch, if you want.”
Guru goes to bed, and the monks follow. Gerry reaches out to Anu, who rejects. Anu now knows she is a criminal and thinks she is evil – and Gerry agrees
George and Gerry and Casey stay up, keeping watch together, two people at a time. The night is long. George finally sees Ghost of Fred, they ask Ghost, ghost is silent.
Next day, Casey ready to round everybody up, but Guru reaches out with kindness and calms Casey down a bit. Suggests, why do you need your treasures? It has only brought you unhappiness.
Anu reaches out to Gerry again, offers her acceptance, forgiveness, and she decides to love him.
George discovers Guru has old cache of weapons and loot. Feels betrayed, calls Guru out, everyone back out to the yard for conflict.
Guru reveals that once, she was like them… so there is hope for them as well.
Casey still wants the plates, but is mollified… Then they look and see Black SUVs, and Guru says “trouble”
Act 4: Save the Ashram from Mob-Boss and his thugs
With not much time, Guru tells everyone not to fear, and George and Gerry each set a trap. (Or do the monks do that while the criminals talk). Gerry tells Anu to go hide in the hills, insists, Anu agrees but lies and doesn’t go.
Boss comes out, Guru asks to put away weapons, thugs holster but stay armed at Bosses nod.
George asks, “Where was the helicopter.”
Boss smoothly apologizeses, and then asks when they were gonna bring the plates. George and Gerry explain.
Boss, “when Casey called me, you had the plates.”
Gerry, “Casey called you?”
Casey “I … I wanted to get paid. All of us. To get paid. To finish the job.”
Boss “So now, we have a problem… where the fuck are my plates.”
George pleads for the Ashram. Says, we’re just trying to find them. But listen, you gotta try this stuff, its fantastic. “Is he high?” “only on the soul, man.” Boss has him smacked and says “I’d kill you if you weren’t so good at your job.”
Guru offers the Ashram Gold instead of the plates. Boss appreciates the offer, and says, ‘that’s great – we will take those too.”
Thugs load up the gold, as the monks watch, horrified. One of the monks loses it, and a Thug shoots them.
Guru runs over, and feels the pulse. “Their journey is over.” a moment of silence… Boss like, “… ok…. What. Ok so where are the plates.”
Guru denies knowledge, and Boss suggests they torture every single one of them.
George and Gerry stand up and say, don’t. Casey stands with boss but doesn’t fight.
Fight ensues, Monks release traps and snares which even things, George and Gerry (explosives) even things.
Guru calls for a Halt – as the thugs have won and everyone else s incapacitated. George and Gerry held at gunpoint, thugs enraged.
Boss looks at Guru – and recognizes. Calls out who Guru really is. Guru doesn’t deny. “We thought you died.” “I did. The parts of me that needed to.”
Boss, “well better late than never”
Casey jumps in front of the gun, and Guru yells “No!”
Time rewinds to a bird being startled on the mountain, speeds back up, and bird poop hits Boss in the eye. Boss misses, and Casey eats dirt but isn’t shot.
Boss is livid, and goes to kill again – showered in bird poop.
Guru walks forwards, Boss slips on the poop. Guru kicks the bosses gun away.
Boss gets up and starts swinging a knife. Guru sees him coming from miles off and just moves out of the way. Finally moves out of the way and flicks his hand and boss stabs himself in the leg. Tries to keep fighting, and slips again in poop.
Guru reaches down and pushes Boss down with a single finger…. Boss somehow cannot get up.(*Can the Ghost of Fred help them too somehow? That would be cool)
Anu sees the moment and takes out Gerry’s captor. Healer puts whiff of drugs under their thugs’ nose, goes down. George turns around and kisses a thug, rendering him shocked, and then takes his gun and whacks him with it.
At about this moment, the FBI show up, and the Thugs and Boss stop fighting and give up.
The thugs are in the car, and George, Casey and Gerry prepare to also be arrested. Guru confesses to them that, they are safe, because Guru traded the plates for their freedom. Casey ready to lose it – than they burst out laughing.
Sunset, Mountain. Guru is meditating, Casey and Gerry and George open their eyes to see Fred.
Casey whispers apology. Gerry and George whisper a farewell. Fred fades away.
Morning. The car is fixed. Gerry and Anu are packing up with George.
George is going to go try again with daughter. Anu says farewell to Guru and monks, Guru happy for him.
Casey hanging back. Guru asks, where next? Casey has no idea. Guru offers to stay, and Casey says no… then smiles. And says yes.
“Why aren’t you packing?” “I’m not quite ready to leave yet.”
Farewells are said.
The car drives off, leaving Casey and Guru. Casey jokes about staying for the gold. Guru says, “the gold worth having is inside you.” Casey snorts, thats too corny. Guru keeps it on, “no its true.” Healer comes over, “we need to get you on some herbs.” Gardener is like, “some good manual labour will help.”
We see Casey feeling overwhelmed, ready to bolt or fight… then smile ruefully, and realise she is surrounded by good people. She laughs, and lets them lead her in.
-
Michael’s Budget
I learned that once you have come to understand what changes a budget, and how to substitute things in your writing, it becomes very easy to change things around to adjust for budget.
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations – can show a field with a fence as “outside the Mint,” the roads on the ashram, and the ashram, thats it
Expensive locations – the Ashram could be just some yurts in a natural area
Number of characters – could just have Guru + two monks, and only have the boss bring 1 thug, and the FBI send a single agent the first and second time
Special effects – just the bird poop and drone shot, which are cheap, and a wound on George. Could do the ghost as just a single green screen shot of “Fred” and fade it in/out, and George’s “hallucinations” as just him walking around ashram with the colours all messed up
Number of pages – could take out some of the scenes of exploring the ashram,
Crowd scenes – n/a
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – the car ride at the beginning could just be a motionless car in the dark, and we don’t see outside of it
Special sets
SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc. – can work with mostly just meditative music at the ashram, easier to compose
Explosions and Firearm – thugs have guns at the end but could avoid firing them
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set – N/A
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – no “bird” just a drone shot and the poop effect
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados. n/a
Water and underwater scenes n/a
Night scenes – mainly the chase in the opening which could just be the car sitting in a studio room, and we only see in the car / a roto-light to imply trees flying by
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – one drone shot, should be fairly cheap
Green screen work – just the ghost
Extensive Make-up – can have the ghost hooded/not show wound
Archival Footage – n/a
Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance.
Bigger Budget
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations – we show the edge of a fenced compound, with lights and explosions, as the thieves escape the mint. We show flashbacks to different parts of casey and george and gerrys’ lives, in different parts of the city
Expensive locations – the Ashram could be an ancient place with ancient stone buildings, or a set of modern building with modern conveniences – but ancient stone buildings in a beautiful remote place would be ideal
Number of characters – add a few monks, have Boss bring a couple extra thugs, and a team of FBI agents that come in at the end
Special effects – explosions when they are escaping the mint, some diy explosives that Gerry sets off to defeat the bosses thugs
Number of pages – lay into the characters’ flashbacks, potentially add some scenes to get into the guru’s back story
Crowd scenes – FBI have more of them
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – add some cars to the chase scene in the opening, and fight scenes to when the boss’s people show up – possibly even a showdown with the FBI
Special sets – create somethign
SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc.
Explosions and Firearm
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados.
Water and underwater scenes
Night scenes
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots
Green screen work
Extensive Make-up
Archival Footage
Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance.
-
Michael’s hopes and fears
What I learned: blocking out the scenes is a monumental excercise, I used to just flow with “creative vision” but its hard to choose the right ones.
Thinking in terms of Hope and Fear really kept all of the scenes in line with the characters’ journey, and helped me generate new ones too based on filling the holes while still keeping the focus on the audience’s roller coaster.
Hopes and Fears
Core Emotional Journey: our 3 thieves are good people underneath, way deep underneath – can they be saved, or is it too late for their souls?
Especially Casey, the furthest gone and also the most dynamic.
Act One
Fear – the three characters are on the run, bullets flying, the helicopter didn’t come.
Hope – they get to the car.
Fear – George takes a bullet.
Hope – they are getting away
Fear – but George is bleeding out
Hope – they see a sign for an Ashram.
Fear – Casey says, No, they will get caught. Keeps driving.
Fear – A deer on the road causes the car to swerve wildly, and they might crash
Fear – they run into a tree
Hope – when they get out, they are at the Ashram, and the Guru says to bring George to the infirmary
Act 2:
Fear – George is dying, Casey wants to leave
Hope – the healer is competent, and starts praying
Fear – Casey and Sarah don’t believe in the power of prayer.
Hope – Sarah mets Anu, and they are drawn to each other
Fear – Casey wants to get the car fixed and leave George
Hope – the car can’t be fixed.
Fear – there is gold in the Ashram and Casey wants to steal it.
Hope – George recovers
Hope – Casey and Sarah hide the plates to come for them later
Fear – Anu sees them hiding the plates but they don’t see Anu.
Fear – Guru gets a call from FBI, they are coming to look around.
Fear – hide the car, get robes for Casey and Sarah
Hope – Guru covers for them.
Fear – when they leave, the others know that they are criminals and distrust them.
Fear – Casey seeing ghost of Fred
Hope – Guru sees Fred too, and reaches out to Casey
Fear – Casey rejects Guru.
Fear – George steals some the healing herbs and smokes them
Hope – the healer walks in to see George sweating and moaning, and goes into a trance
Fear – George is trapped in a dark place in his mind
Hope – the healer helps him out
Hope – George is now all about the Ashram. Wakes up weeping with release, and realizing he was not fully living life.
Hope – Sarah and Anu keep flirting
Fear – Anu doesn’t want to have sex becuase its unholy
Hope – Guru tells Anu to relax and enjoy being alive, and they hook up
Midpoint Turning Point
Hope – Guru reaches out to Casey again
Fear- Casey relives a traumatic experience, and yells at Guru
Fear – Casey is incensed and wants to pull a gun, take the Ashram gold and plates, and go.
Hope – Sarah, fresh with love, and George, fresh with healing, stand up to Casey
Fear – Casey threatens them, and says will take the plates alone, and they have a fight about it.
Fear – Casey finally threatens them, and goes to get the plates
Hope – the plates are gone.
Act 3: Loot is Missing
Fear – Casey is enraged and starts fighting with George and Sarah.
Fear – it looks like they are going to kill each other
Fear – they decide to question the Ashram instead
Fear – they round everyone up with their weapons, to start questionning
Hope – the Guru denies knowledge, and says that everyone is innocent.
Fear – Casey starts to get dark, violent. Anu and Sarah stare at each other, betrayed, and George is upset
Hope – Guru says, “where is it going to go? Lets go to bed” and Casey listens.
Fear – Anu rejects Sarah, and George goes to question his life.
Next day,
Fear – Casey wakes up from traumatic dream, and is angry
Hope – Guru is kind to Casey, and it knocks the wind out of her sails. It almost looks like there will be peace.
Fear – they discover the Guru’s secret cache of loot and guns, and are shocked and horrified.
Hope – Guru reveals that once, she was like them… so there is hope for them as well.
Fear – black SUVs are showing up, its the boss.
Act 4: Save the Ashram from Mob-Boss and his thugs
Hope – George and Sarah use their skills to rig some traps in case things go bad.
Fear – the Boss shows up, asking about the loot, ready to kill everyone there.
Hope – Sarah and George tell Boss what happened, but that he can just not pay them.
Fear – Boss says no – and reveals that Casey called him in.
Hope – Guru offers the Ashram’s gold instead of the plates
Fear – Boss says, he will take that too after killing them all. And then recognizes Guru.
Fear – Boss’s goons start fighting.
Hope – Sarah and George’s traps kick in, and the fight is evened.
Fear – Casey takes boss’s side. Guru is at gunpoint, Sarah and George are held by thugs, the spiritualists watch with fear.
Fear – Boss finally decides to kill Guru
Hope/Fear – Casey dives to save Guru
Hope – Guru says “No” and we rewind time, change an event on the mountain, fast forward, and bird poop hits the Boss’s face, causing him to miss, and Casey is unharmed.
Fear – Boss is livid,prepares to attack.
Hope – Guru says “enough” and boss is showered in bird poop.
Fear – Boss lifts gun to kill Guru as Guru walks towards Boss
Hope – Guru fights Boss and disarms and incapacitates. Anu sees the moment and takes out Sarah’s captor, she helps take him down. George kisses his captor, who recoils, and Healer puts medicine under his nose to conk him out.
Resolution
Hope – badguys incapacitated
Hope – FBI shows up to collect them.
Fear – Sarah, George and Casey are ready to go quietly
Hope – FBI agent reveals they knew all along, but let them go when Guru gave FBI the plates back.
Fear – as FBI leaves, Casey is filled with rage and turns to Guru
Hope – Guru shrugs and says, it was that or prison, and Casey laughs and lets it go.
Epilogue
Fear – The ghost of Fred returns
Hope – Guru does ritual with them, and ghost leaves.
Fear – Sarah is leaving, but hates to leave Anu
Hope – Anu is going with her.
Hope – George is going to go find his daughter and reconnect.
Fear – what next for Casey? Who even is he now?
Hope – Guru offers Casey to stay, and Casey agrees.
-
Michael M’s 4 Act Structure
*** I still need to decide, is this enough story as is, or should I add the level of the Ashram having an abandoned goldmine underneath, that they explore/where they defeat villain? But that would also make it more costly, so I may just go with “Ashram has room with gold in it” instead.
What I learned doing this assignment is: thinking in terms of turning points is great to stimulate ideas – and know where to place them – for layers and reveals and driving your characters to be forced to try new things. Thinking in terms of “plan, new plan, plan in action” helped me think in terms of keeping my leads motivated and proactive. Combining this with structure both encourages better brainstorming by giving it a structure to happen in, and builds a better story by having the twists and turns structured.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Structure.
1. Tell us the following:
Concept – three criminals with a bag of loot and a dark secret take shelter in an ashram after a heist goes wrong
Main Conflict – Money goes missing and they are trying to find it.
Act 1:
Opening – we meet the first three characters and see them escaping, car break down
Inciting Incident – they wind up at the ashram, and ask for help
They get George ahealin
Turning Point – they realize Ashram is on a literal goldmine (or just has a nice stash of gold)
Act 2:
New plan – stick around for George, while getting car fixed, and planning escape with gold
Plan in action
Car somehow impossible to fix
George starts getting into the spiritual stuff
Sarah starts falling in love
Casey having flashbacks of childhood trauma that hasn’t dealt with, and seeing more of Fred
Does FBI drop by and Guru covers for them? Or we lose that?
Midpoint Turning Point
Something happens to incite Casey going to check on the cash. Like… discovering Guru’s gun selection, or getting a mysterious communication (from boss)
Casey goes to dig up their loot and go, and plans on grabbing some of the Ashram gold with or without the others,when…
Act 3: Loot is Missing
Rethink everything – are these holy hippies actually just swindlers?
New plan – search everything, question everyone
The three fight about it, George wants to just leave without it or stay
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
Boss shows up asking for the loot
Act 4: Save the Ashram from Mob-Boss and his thugs
Final plan
George and Sarah try to save the place
Casey betrays them to help boss
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
Boss has everyone down and recognizes Guru
Conflict moves between Guru and Boss
Casey finally sees the light and tries to save Guru, letting Guru beat boss
Resolution
FBI shows up to collect boss and thugs, but not our three criminals thanks to Guru
They do a ritual for the ghost of Frank
Sarah leaves but takes her lover, George goes back to find his daughter – and Casey decides to stay at the ashram a little longer. Jokes about finding gold, and Guru like “the gold is within you all along” and Casey snorts.
-
Michael’s Layers
What I learned is that – hoooooboy, its a fascinating rabbit hole. When you start asking these questions, you can go anywhere from finding an extra layer to throw in for a bit more intrigue, to completely changing the nature of your story… its a very cool process, its a cool way to make yourself think about possibilities and implications, and make more complex realities come to life.
Major scheme revealed – what if Boss was planning on killing Gerry and George anyway, when they were to return with the cash, and Casey knew?
Mystery revealed – what happened to the money?
Thought it was one thing, but it is another – Some item in the Ashram was actually for metal detection or phoning the FBI or something?
Major shift in Meaning – a Buddha holds gold? A weapon becomes a tool for healing? George’s tech becomes a way to help?
Hidden history
Hidden plan – what if Casey planned to betray them anyway? At Ashram or later?
2. Brainstorm potential character layers.
Secret identity – Criminal could secretly be fbi…
*** what if Monk, or Guru, is former ____ or even a detective, and did the money thing?
New monk showed up the day before who is fed?
Guru used to be some kinda badass?
Intrigue layers – the ghost of Fred, the hidden money
Hidden relationships and conspiracies – Guru to Boss? Or to FBI or Both?
Hidden Character history – Yeah, this is big.
Casey – her murders and childhood, her belief that she is not worth saving
Gerry – their history of abuse, and inability to accept being loved
George – his estranged daughter, and search for meaning in life through drugs
3. Brainstorm potential location layers.
Hidden operation – what if the Ashram made drugs?
Or some other criminal operation that makes sense for a remote area?
Or even something simpler like, provides weather-data to the weather network, but the criminals see bits of whirring tech and get super suspiciousDeeper meaning – what if Ashram was… also a cemetery? Burial ground? Creepy, could add horror element…. Portal to another realm? Might be too much… its already a place of spiritual healing…
Trap to draw prey – they are pretty remote so unlikely, although what a wild idea, “people come to heal their souls but they leave their souls behind” haha wow
Unique sub-world – the world of meditation, chakras, spirituality, kundalini
4. Tell us about the layers you’ve chosen.
Surface Layer: Three criminals wind up in a remote ashram on their escape from a heist. Part way through the money goes missing – then the boss comes to collect
Beneath That:
– three tortured souls that don’t know they are in need of healing, come to a sacred place to be changed forever.
– The unassuming guru is also an ex-criminal, who is recognized by the boss when the boss comes calling.
– Strange tech whirs in secret parts of the ashram – the criminals think its surveillance but actually its to record weather dataThe guru took their money and gave it back to the FBI in exchange for dropping investigation
How Revealed:
Their history starts to leak out in flashbacks and confessions, breakdowns and emotions, growing their personality.
Also George gets into the kundalini stuff and his mind is blown, so then we explore it by him trying to tell Casey and Gerry and them getting annoyed
Casey sees machines and gets paranoid, tells the others, but they can’t find it.
Then sees a monk go to the machines, and pulls out a gun – only for the monk to show its weather dataWhen the boss shows up, asks why Gerry and George are still alive and Casey admits that she knew they were to be betrayed
An old chest with guns is found, and they start to suspect the guru – then the Boss recognizes guru right before the final showdown.
At the end, when they are leaving, they talk about being in hiding – Guru says, money was returned in exchange for dropped charges. They are like “why didn’t you say so?” and guru is like, “it wasn’t time to tell you.”
-
Michael’s Character Journeys
What I learned is that mapping out the characters journey is a way of mapping out a plot line that actually matters and shows growth through the plot. This way its easier to avoid writing themes or side-plots that don’t fit in, because the plot is actually based on what needs to happen for the characters to each grow and intersect with each other.
Casey
Beginning: hardened criminal. Wants to leave wounded George behind.
Turning Point: winds up at an ashram, where George is taken to heal.
Reveal: christianity and hopelessness
Continues to stick around for George
Is annoyed by monks and Guru, but reluctantly relaxes a bit
Midpoint: Money is missing, freakout
Reverts to cold criminal
Turning Point 2: Boss is on his way over
Dilemma: Protect Ashram, or betray to show boss loyalty (betrays)
3rd Act Climax: throws self in front of bullet to save Guru
Ending: finds out Guru gave money to FBI to send back to mint, but lets go of their rage. Decides to stay at the Ashram, also releases Fred’s ghost.
Gerry
Beginning: tough and driven but with conscienceIs the one who helps George into car, and says they need Ashram
Turning Point: Meets Pranil the holy practitioner, who is taken with them
Begin to trust, and have feelings
Enjoy relations but then pulls away from emotion.
Midpoint: Money gone
Now she distrusts (everyone incl.) Pranil
Pranil now knows she is a criminal and thinks she is evil – and Gerry agrees
Turning Point 2:
Pranil offers her acceptance, forgiveness, and she decides to love him, just as the boss shows up
Dilemma: (? needs work. Options: – leave w Pranil or stay to protect Ashram – tell Pranil to go so doens’t get hurt?)
3rd Act Climax: fights for Ashram, worried about Pranil, they help each other
Ending: Pranil decides to join her
George
Beginning: wants to die. Acerbic, sardonic, smart but rudeTurning Point: realizes the healer saved him, and that could have died, and smokes their herbs but ends up with spiritual experience
Realizes life had had no meaning
Begins asking questions, trying to learn
Begins annoyingly telling Gerry and Casey to come see the light
Midpoint:
Money gone, can his newfound faith withstand the disappointment?
Reveal his estranged daughter that his share was for
Dilemma: turn back on his newfound spirituality, or accept the money being gone
Turning Point 2: Boss shows up, he hilariously tries to convert boss, and almost is killed
Dilemma: stand up to Boss and die, or shut up and live (shuts up)
3rd Act Climax: uses his tech skills against boss
Ending: off to see his daughter.
-
Michael’s Character Depth
What I learned: is that finding depth for your characters just takes spending the time to ask the right questions. If you know what to ask, and you spend time on the questions, your characters will deepen as a natural consequence, its awesome.
Casey – Team Captain
Grew up rough, saw violence, is a hardened criminal who gets the job done.
Motivation: External: Money. (Scarcity, fear-based mindset).
Internal: will come to find things that are more important than money.
Secret: Killed their friend before they left.
Wound: Doesn’t believe their soul is worth saving/can be saved.
Subtext: a struggle for redemption they don’t know they need
Layers: under it all, they are scared, fighting for survival and number one because they don’t believe they are worth being loved by anyone else.
Character to character
Conflict: – with teammates. Then with Monks, “where is it.” finally with self
Hidden Agenda: *** is there ? Does he plan to betray teammates?
Dilemma: Money and Power, or deeper meaning
Secret Identity: Secretly really struggling with the violence of their upbringing.
Gerry – Demolitions Expert
Motivation: at first: Money. Later: being loved, accepting love
Secret: was abused / abused someone? Vs. never processed their heartbreaks?
Wound: sexual abuse, and became an abuser.
Subtext: Athiest, believes in nothing. There is only random chaos so nothing matters.
Then finds meaning, and starts to regret past actions. Finally heals.
Layers: Underneath a rough, pugnacious exterior, is a heartbroken romantic whose faith in love and trust were dashed but will be reborn.
Character to character
Conflict: External: Money and their family back home vs. save ashram and stick around versus falling in love.
Intrigue: do they know about shooting Fred, or why? Did they hide the money?
Dilemma: embrace love and risk their career, or be ruthless for the money?
George – Field Technologist
Motivation: find meaning in life and himself, because sees himself as a failure
Secret: has a daughter
Wound: is estranged from daughter because of bad decisions.
Baby-Momma, and his parents, all think he are worthless.He can’t face his worthlessness, so he gambles and does drugs and crime
Subtext: wanted to die from the bullet, isn’t enjoying being alive anymore, and wakes up angry. His Nihilism makes him want release – but when he tries to get high with his healer, the experience ends up transformative.
Layers: actually really smart and loves new knowledge. Think he would make a great dad but doesn’t believe he deserves a second chance.
Character to character
Conflict: when money is missing, he wants to just stay, screw the money – which brings conflict with the others.
Hidden Agenda: to escape his past and self-identity as a failure.
Conspiracy: Did he know about Fred? Did he hide the money?
Dilemma: help the others find the money, or just do his own thing enjoying the Ashram?
-
Michael Masurkevitch’s Right Characters
What I learned:
Is that creating a character is an impossible task of choosing from endless possibilities, but having a legit starting point is better than just pulling it out of the air, and choosing the starting point of “what serves the hook” helps make atleast somewhat more informed choices on how to best tell the story you want to tell.
Setting:
Ashram: so the less spiritual they are, the mouthier and dirtier and angrier and less-open-minded, the funnier.Characters fit with hook:
Each is struggling with trauma, addiction, of some kind.
– Captain is a killer and can’t live with himself, grew up rough and was raised into violence.Specialist is addictions and high-functionning, a nerd who got tired of the system and figured out how to make more money. But the money doesn’t bring happiness, does drugs for the angst and ennuis.
Demolitions girl is fighting demons of anger, privilege, violence, and an abused or abusive mother.
But also2.b) – Captain is an atheist whose hippie brother super frustrates him, hates hearing about this stuff, brings him pain
Demolitions-girl is secretly devout Catholic but believes she is going to hell and her soul isn’t worth saving
Techie is agnostic, likes to poke at things but also is struck with wonder at them, also does more drugs which plays with his sense of reality.
** and the shadowy ghost who first one, then gradually all, start to see, of the fallen comrade, helped into peace in act 3.
Conflict
– Captain is a focused hustler, who cares about himself first
– mad at the other two, but also surly and gets made at Techs’ wonder
– they are all dealing with having just killed someone who got left behind on the job.External Conflict
– when we meet them they are in conflict about “what went wrong” but annoying each other: then they are in conflict about how long to stay at the Ashram: then, at what to do about the money: then, at what to do about the villain coming: then finally resolved.Internal Conflict
With their issues and pain, each of them taking two steps forwards and one back towards healing.
What makes them Right:
Honestly I’m not 100% sure yet but
They have to be hardened to have more of a change from the Ashram. They need to be annoyed by “woo woo stuff” (atleast ⅔ of them) and annoyed with each other. They need to come from different demographics so that the healing of different issues can be explored.
Which one should be male/female/of what colour? Should the Captain be female and an atheist, and the weapons specialist a white christian, and the tech an athiest asian female? Or the other way around? I dont know what the right combos are, just that they need to split those qualities between them.
-
6. This process was such a deliciously simple way to totally, totally expand consciousness. I started with one idea, broke it down into a couple of components, and wound up with different stories. So fun, such a trip.
I suppose I learned that: a good hook is about (someone or a situation you empathize with) overcoming (something you want to see if they can overcome.) And that translates to so, so many different iterations – and then the characters that makes sense for it, just come up as part of the process.
So you can take any story, boil it down to components, change those components – and have a totally different story…. wack.
1. Harlequin VR
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: an apartment – and, a Virtual-Reality Dating-Adventure video game
B. Unique Device: online adventure-dating
C. Unique Monster/Villain: the monsters from the game become her personification of her demons when she has a cathartic mushroom trip
D. Mystery: What will make her happy? Her current man, her new man, or something deeper? (answer is “something deeper”)
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: a love triangle with her boyfriend-of-many years versus a man who she’s only ever met online
F. Unique layers: underneath her unhappiness with her job, boyfriend, and this possible-new-man as a potential solution, its actually about her unhappiness with herself from her sense of self worth, as she deals with internalized misogyny and body dysmorphia. Her avatar in the game becomes her empowerment of her ideal self, but its not real, so ultimately she must let it go as well and accept herself as she is.
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
You’ve already put your dreams on the backburner and hate your job. So what’s going to bring you happiness – your boyfriend, the flashy new man on an online-dating-site, or a cycle of self-destruction that will force you to defeat your nightmares?
*** needs shortening
Having to do with ___________, what haven’t we seen before?
Romantic Comedy, we haven’t seen – a woman turn out to need nobody but herself for happiness
A love triangle including an online avatar of someone who is actually not physically attractive in real life
Whitewater
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: A campsite on a river with whitewater and water falls
B. Unique Device: these narcissists have to trust each other to survive
C. Unique Monster/Villain: the river, wilderness (so not really)
D. Mystery: Who killed the guide, why are they stuck there
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: They need to survive, trust each other, and get along
F. Unique layers: just the personalities involved.
Although, it would be pretty cool to add a layer of corporate espionage – they find something out on the trip that could destroy the company, and need to get back in time, but also each want to be the one to deliver the saving-message…
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
A group of arrogant, urbane CEOs in competition for a promotion get stranded on a wilderness teambuilding exercise. What’s gonna do them in, Nature – or each other?
3. In terms of (Office comedies like “the office” and high-powered-maneuvering-shows like Westwing, we add comedy and pathos and maybe a murder mystery
Captain’s Log
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: a small ship that got separated from its flotilla and blasted away on its own. A damaged ship. (What if it was an outer-space mining rig, self-sufficient but isolated?
B. Unique Device:
C. Unique Monster/Villain: aliens, space, lack of oxygen…. Maybe we introduce an alien parasite that sneaks aboard but actually helps people?
D. Mystery:
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem:
F. Unique layers:
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
Having to do with ___________, what haven’t we seen before?
The Rig
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: an offshore oil rig
B. Unique Device: a biologist shows up to investigate a strange sighting that could be worth a lot of money.
C. Unique Monster/Villain: a disease? A murderer? A supernatural ocean-killer?
D. Mystery: who or what is the killer
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: survival is hard enough on an offshore rig, the supply ship leaves a new recruit to learn the ropes as humans start to die
F. Unique layers: every employee is far away from civilization for their own unique reasons
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
A biologist shows up to investigate a mysterious sighting, but after the supply boat leaves, a dead body of an employee surfaces. Storms and sea monsters without, and human monsters within.
Having to do with ___________, what haven’t we seen before?
Homestead
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: a homestead in the woods
B. Unique Device: an ongoing civil war that pitts the daughters’ parents against each other
C. Unique Monster/Villain:
D. Mystery: who are her parents really, and how are they connected to the conflict the stranger is running from?
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: the stranger reveals that her parents may be the badguys. Then it turns out they are on opposite sides. Will the stranger rip the family apart, can the daughter keep it together?
F. Unique layers: the history of both her parents with regards to the conflict, their conflict with each other, their lies to their daughter.
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
A little girl has grown up in a remote forest homestead, far away from a raging civil war. When a spy collapses on her doorstep, her parents begin to take sides against each other. Will the civil war tear them apart from the inside?
Having to do with ___________, what haven’t we seen before?
Therapist
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: an isolated safehouse/cabin
B. Unique Device: the killer has killed his father, and transferred his feelings from his now-dead abusive-father to his therapist – torturing him while begging for redemption
C. Unique Monster/Villain: a killer whose pain we feel, a therapist who is a dick.
D. Mystery: what brought them to this point? Will the therapist save the killer or become his torture-slave? Will the killer find redemption of just more evil?
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: the killer wants healing, redemtpion, but is torturing the therapist he wants it from
F. Unique layers: Underneath both characters are issues with masculinity, identity, trauma, emotional pain, that we reveal.
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
A killer searching for redemption kidnaps and tortures an online influencer-guru, begging for therapy and inflicting pain. As complex emotions surface, who is torturing who, and will anyone be saved?
Having to do with _stockholm syndrome_, we haven’t seen _a killer who actively wants redemption while torturing his only hope.
3. Pick one and do the Exchanging Components process.
Whitewater
Who: CEOs
Could be Middle Management
Could be gangsters of a new-age gang
Could be a squad of FBI agents
Couldn’t be marines, they do their training separately
Could be nerds, ie. developpers
Could be a band on a retreat
Where: whitewater trip
Ski trip, and the chalet gets isolated
Himalayans
Rock climbing
An Ashram
Device: a race for CEO
Gangster promotion
FBI agent discovers that one of them is a mole
What if
An FBI team (or bunch of gangsters in a gang-for-hire) is sent to protect a guru at an ashram who is internationally important (or important to a wealthy gangster), and have to pose as spiritual practitioners, until their emotional issues come forwards. The guru ends up saving them, and they come out saved. Along the way a mole is discovered and there are fight sequences where monks accidentally-kick-ass
A bunch of gangsters go to pull a heist on a remote mint, and wind up in an ashram. Taken in by the monks, they must dodge FBI questioning, keep an eye on the money, and report back to their evil boss – who eventually comes to extract the money and leave the ashram in… ashes… the original gangsters fight internally about what to do, one wants to take the money and go but they can’t, one wants to betray. And then the monks accidentally kick ass.
-
Michael Masurkevitch – Covid Guidelines to “Hottub Time Machine”
What I learned from this assignment: is that when you remove things like Stunts, extras and wardrobe choices, sometimes it involves losing scenes/production value – but this can be made up by supplanting more layers or emotions instead
TITLE: Hottub Time Machine
AS THEY DID IT:
A. People
The three adult friends: their child-selves in the mirror; the young boy; his father; bar patrons; ski patrol; extras at a party; a random woman and a random ‘magic man’
B. Stunts
Some flips on skis, a fight scene
C. Extras
at the bar, on the ski hill, in the halls of the ski chalet
D. Wardrobe
normal except the one scene where they see themselves as their youth-selves in the mirror
E. Hair and Make Up
limited
F. Kids and Animals
no kids: one squirrel
G. Quarantine
only a few locations at the ski resort but several outside of it. Unsure if built a set for the ski chalet/village or used an existing one
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People
Adjust the through line to have more dynamic between the friends, so you can cut out some of the extras: bring the boys’ mom in earlier for more of a character to create new scenes: lose either the bar-stuff or the ski-patrol stuff and make the one you keep more key to storyline/have more people in it.
B. Stunts
Not enough to justify all of them: so lose the skiing and have conversations on a chairlift instead. Lose the fight and just show the setup, and the guy beaten up at the end (or lose the fist-fight and make it verbal
C. Extras
If you lose the bar-scene that cleans up most of them. Have the chalet be less of a hotel-chalet-village and a bit smaller/more remote, or suggest its’ popularity is dwindling, and you no longer need extras in the hall.
Consider losing the “child selves’ extras or atleast shooting them in front of a green screen, separately, and fading/editing them in.
D. Wardrobe
not too bad. maybe have characters bring their own 80s wardrobe that they used to wear, that could be hilarious
E. Hair and Make Up
not too bad. some bruising on one character- maybe lose the bruising and have it be a verbal dressing-down?
F. Kids and Animals
Squirrel could be removed and have it be an actor instead – although the squirrel being animatronic, could have been prepped pre-shoot and operated by a single animatronics specialiast I think?
G. Quarantine
Could have lost a couple scenes in locations pre and post hottub (like a scene in a hospital, could have been finding the guy at his house), having most of it take place in a “ski village” is useful as this can be your quarantined film-village too
-
Idea 1: Harlequin VR
A couple stays in their apartment during a pandemic (except when he leaves for work) when<font face=”inherit”> the girlfriend begins a love affair over virtual reality, and enters a </font>destructive<font face=”inherit”> cycle to find herself.</font>
A. Contained Environment:
The VR stadium, the apartment, a bridge over a river, and her friends’ house
B. Contained Characters:
Sam, Jason (her boyfriend) Marcello (her online lover) and her friends Sar and Rah
C. Difficult Situation:
Sam falls in love over the internet, but lives with her boyfriend.
D. Reason for the Containment:
Post-Pandemic, the work is online and so is the dating.
Idea 2: Whitewater
A company’s top executive team is sent on a team building exercise to go white water rafting, and when the guide dies they decide to power through to show corporate the results. Lost in the forest with only camping gear and their raft, skeletons and Old Wounds, new feelings and drama, emerge as they try to handle their new crisis.
A. Contained Environment:
A river, a raft, and a couple camping spots
B. Contained Characters:
A group of corporate executives, and the guide
C. Difficult Situation:
Wealthy, pampered urbanites trying to survive extreme conditions. High-powered narcissists being forced to work together for survival
D. Reason for the Containment:
Trapped in the wild and no idea how to leave
Idea 3: Captain’s Log
An entitled and sometimes bumbling female captain trying to deal with the misogyny of her grim, veteran oldschool first officer, the voracious sexual appetite of her pansexual chief-engineer, the depression and suicidal tendencies of her gunner, and the ship’s doctors’ split personality syndrome, tries to get her ship – low on fuel and supplies – to a safe planet in unknown deep space.
A. Contained Environment:
spaceship
B. Contained Characters:
The crew
C. Difficult Situation:
Oxygen and supplies running low, and technical/survival issues, are bad enough without the bickering of ridiculous crewmates
D. Reason for the Containment:
Cant find the nearest habitable planet.
(Maybe at somepoint we find one and go from there though)
Idea 4: Homestead
A little girl living with her parents on a homestead in the woods hasn’t had much contact with the world, and is fascinated when a stranger, wounded, stumbles into their land. But the stranger, and her parents, are more than they seem, and the stranger brings a conflict that will change her life
A. Contained Environment:
A homestead in the woods
B. Contained Characters:
The girl, her parents, the stranger – and some sort of villains, at the end
C. Difficult Situation:
Figuring out how to defend the homestead, figuring out who to trust and understanding who her parents are
D. Reason for the Containment:
The homestead is the safest place to survive, and to defend against the coming threat
Idea 5: Therapist
A tortured killer becomes obsessed with a celebrity tv therapist and kidnaps him, dragging him to an isolated cabin, and alternately tortures him and tries to get the therapist to save them
A. Contained Environment:
Isolated cabin
B. Contained Characters:
Therapist and killer, plus
C. Difficult Situation:
Will the therapist save the killer’s soul, or die of torture, or develop stockholm syndrome feelings for the killer. Will the killer overcome his evil and save the therapist, or give in to darkness and kill the therapist?
D. Reason for the Containment:
If they leave the killer will be found/therapist can’t leave.