Michael Wallace
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Lesson 12 – Putting Marketing Campaigns into Action
Michael Wallace’s Marketing Campaign
What I learned in this lesson was to organize all of the work I had done prior to taking this course, and the lessons I learned in this course to develop and implement a more focused marketing campaign for myself and my screenplays.
Prior to taking this course I had written four screenplays three of which I had continued to rewrite until I got a “Recommend” from a reputable Screenwriting coverage service that was recommended by a successful screenwriter, The fourth screenplay I have a “Consider” and will go back to rewriting until I get a “Recommend” after I have done some more work on my marketing campaign. I have entered my first three scripts in the Final Draft Big Break Contest.
Prior to taking this course I had already set up lists in IMDb Pro of potential collaborators on my projects. I have continually reached out to Producers through LinkedIn, and had sent some query letters with little response. I am going to use what I learned about improving my pitch and query letter to reach out to more Producers., using the filters in IMDb Pro that I learned in this class to find a whole new list of people to pitch to.
I have listed my screenplays on Ink Tip on a rotating basis and have got some views. The biggest challenge is that I need to develop more relationships in this business which I am working on, and that is the key to success, as I have learned in my many other business ventures. -
What I learned from this assignment is to keep refining my pitch and query letter to make it more concise and appealing.
Michael Wallace’s query letter DRAFT ONE
Dear (Producer’s name),
“The Kid from Lynbrook” is a dramedy about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and mentors a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club, to win back his childhood sweetheart.
Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that using the executives inside information the kid is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.The politically motivated NYS AG, who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after the Kid refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away.
The Executive is forced to choose between testifying against the Kid, and losing the girl, or face charges against himself and risk losing his career and fortune.
There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid
If this concept interests you, I’d be happy send you the script.
Best, Michael Wallace
Mjwallace@newviewent.com -
Very well done Rebecca. You certainly are a talented a writer and your query letter does get me to want to read your screenplay.
All the best, Michael Wallace -
Michael Wallace’s Target Market Part 2
What I learned from this assignment is how to use IMDb Pro to put together a targeted list that includes the Producer’s name and contact information, including IMDb profile, email, phone number and physical address. I also learned not to waste any time with Producers that don’t have contact info, and focus on the one’s that do. My search through the movie meter included drama’ and comedies released in the last ten years with budgets between $1 million and $5 million. I copied and pasted the results in a word file. -
Michael Wallace’s Target Market
What I learned doing this lesson is to use IMDb Pro to target producing partners by researching similar films in terms of genre and budget.
Title: The Kid from Lynbrook
Logline: A Wall Street executive returns to his hometown to win back his childhood sweetheart by mentoring a kid in a school stock trading club, until it is discovered that the kid is trading real stocks using his inside knowledge. And making a fortune.
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Targeted successful Wall Street themed movies to start-
Wall Street – Oliver Stone, Michael Flynn, A Kitman Ho, Edward Pressman
Boiler Room – Richard Brenner, Claire Rudnick-Polstein, Pamela Post, Jennifer Todd, Susan Todd
The Wolf of Wall Street –
Riza Aziz | Leonardo DiCaprio | Joey McFarland (p.g.a.) | Martin Scorsese | Emma Tillinger Koskoff
The Big Short
Dede Gardner (produced by) | Jeremy Kleiner (produced by) | Arnon Milchan (produced by) | Brad Pitt (produced by)
Margin Call – Writer Director J.C. Chandor, Producers Robert Ogden Barnum, Michael Benaroya, Joe Jenckes, Corey Moosa, Zackery Quinto, Cassian Elwes, Laura Rister, Mishka Brown
Lead roles – I like Miles Teller, Ryan Gosling, and Chris Evans for the male lead, I like Rachel McAdams and Emily Blunt for the female lead, Noah Jupe or Ian Armitage for the Child lead and Paul Giamotti for the Attorney General role.
I have created list in my IMDb Pro account for my films projects and have listed potential producers and collaborators. My initial focus will be on Margin Call and Boiler Room as they are closer to my budget range. -
Michael Wallace – Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is to target your phone pitches to Producers that have produced films in your genre and budget range, focusing on the Hook or High Concept to grab their attention.
Lead with Title and High Concept – I’m Michael Wallace and I have a dramedy called the “The Kid from Lynbrook”, which is about how a twelve-year-old inadvertently takes down the Wolf of Wall Street.
Budget Range $2 -3 million Dollars
Lead roles – I like Miles Teller, Ryan Gosling, and Chris Evans for the male lead, I like Rachel McAdams and Emily Blunt for the female lead, Noah Jupe or Ian Armitage for the Child lead and Paul Giamotti for the Attorney General role.
The script is 107 pages.
I think this is a fit for your company because you’ve have an eye for a great story and had great success in this genre and budget range
In the end, the Wall Street executive sees that the Kid has learned of the hypocrisy of Wall Street from him, and sacrifices himself to save the kid, and win back the girl of his dreams -
Michael Wallace’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned form this lesson is to keep my pitch to a concise hook that will get the producers interest.
My name is Michael Wallace and I’m here to pitch my dramedy. “The Kid from Lynbrook”.
The Kid from Lynbrook is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown to win back his childhood sweetheart by mentoring a kid in a school stock trading club, until it is discovered that the kid is trading real stocks using his inside knowledge, and making a fortune.
I see it as a low budget film to be determined by the level of talent we can attract to the project.
I like Miles Teller, Ryan Gosling, and Chris Evans for the male lead, I like Rachel McAdams and Emily Blunt for the female lead, Noah Jupe or Ian Armitage for the Child lead and Paul Giamotti for the Attorney General role.
Act 1 -Brendan Malone is a hot shot Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom returns to his hometown of Lynbrook, where he mentors Anthony a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back Anthony’s teacher Cindy his childhood sweetheart, the one who got away.Malone gives Anthony inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help him by finding out any information he can on Cindy, to help Malone win her back.
Act 2 -Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that Anthony is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.
The politically motivated NYS AG, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after Anthony refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite Malone’s political contributions, The AG threatens to go after him if he doesn’t agree to testify against Anthony.
Act 3-Malone resists at first, but then agrees to testify to save himself, losing Cindy and his relationship with Anthony.
How it ends -Anthony’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes Malone realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, from him.
Malone secretly feeds inside information to the defense about his firms ‘questionable dealings which they use against him when he is put on the stand, to help Anthony get off.
There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
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Michael Wallace’s Query Letter
What I learned in this lesson is to keep the query writing process simple and easy to read and understand the concept.
Dear __________________,
THE KID FROM LYNBROOK
HOW A KID AND HIS MENTOR CAN EXPOSE THE GREAT HYPOCRACY OF WALL STREET
GENRE: Drama/Comedy
Brendan Malone is a hot shot Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom who makes his fortune manipulating the markets.He returns to his hometown of Lynbrook, where he mentors Anthony a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back Anthony’s teacher Cindy his childhood sweetheart, the one who got away.
Malone gives Anthony inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help him by finding out any information he can on Cindy, to help Malone win her back.
Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that Anthony is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.
The politically motivated NYS AG, who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after Anthony refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite Malone’s political contributions, The AG threatens to go after him if he doesn’t agree to testify against Anthony.
Malone resists at first, but then agrees to testify to save himself, losing Cindy and his relationship with Anthony.
Anthony’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes Malone realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, from him.
Malone secretly feeds inside information to the defense about his firms ‘questionable dealings which they use against him when he is put on the stand, to help Anthony get off.
There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
“The Kid from Lynbrook” is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and inspires another kid like him to follow in his footsteps. Great irony on how history repeats itself.
This film will appeal to fans of Wall Street movies like “Wall Street”, “Boiler Room”, “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Big Short”, and be attractive to teenage kids, as it provides a comedic look on how a kid can expose the whole system.
If this concept interests you, I’d be happy send you the script.
Best, Michael Wallace
Mjwallace@newviewent.com
(516) 319-1600 -
Michael Wallace’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is to reduce your story down to one compelling line.
Dilemma – The Executive must choose between saving himself or a kid and the love of his life.
Main Conflict Inside Traders vs Outside Losers
What’s at stake? Might vs Right
Goal/Unique Opposition – The Executive finally sacrifices himself to do what is right.
Elevator Pitch – I’ve written a screenplay about a hot shot Wall Steet. Executive who inadvertently helps a kid expose the hypocrisy of Wall Street.
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Any word on what happened last week? Is there a live meeting tonight?
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Michael Wallace’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to use hooks to create a synopsis of my story rather than telling the whole story. Doing this assignment made me go back and break down some of my MITs into separate bullets. And make some adjustments.
MIT’S
1 Our hero is a Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom who makes money for his clients, but also manipulates the market for his company’s gain and those he chooses to benefit.2 . He returns to his hometown and mentors a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back his childhood sweetheart, who is a teacher in the kid’s school.
3 The executive gives the kid inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help the executive by finding out any information he can on his teacher, to help the executive win her back.
4 Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that the kid is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.
5 The politically motivated NYS AG (the villain) who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after he refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite his company’s political contributions, he secretly threatens to go after the executive if he doesn’t agree to testify against the kid.
6 After resisting at first, the executive agrees to testify to save himself, losing the girl and his relationship with the kid.
6 The kid’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes the executive realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, and those that get away with questionable activities from him.
7 The night before he is supposed to testify, he secretly feeds inside information to the defense about his firms ‘questionable dealings which they use against the executive when he is put on the stand, to help the kid get off.
COM’S
Unique- There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
Great Title – “The Kid from Lynbrook” is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and inspires another kid like him to follow in his footsteps. Great irony.
Wide audience appeal – and similar to box office successes – This will appeal to fans of Wall Street movies like “Wall Street”, “Boiler Room”, “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Big Short”, and be attractive to teenage kids, as it provides a comedic look on how a kid can expose the whole system.
SYNOPSIS
TITLE: THE KID FROM LYNBROOK
Written by Michael Wallace
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Brendan Malone is a hot shot Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom who makes his fortune manipulating the markets.He returns to his hometown of Lynbrook, where he mentors Anthony a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back Anthony’s teacher Cindy his childhood sweetheart, the one who got away.
Malone gives Anthony inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help him by finding out any information he can on Cindy, to help Malone win her back.
Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that Anthony is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.
Cacoulidis, the politically motivated NYS AG, who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after Anthony refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite Malone’s political contributions, Cacoulidis threatens to go after him if he doesn’t agree to testify against Anthony.
Malone resists at first, but then agrees to testify to save himself, losing Cindy and his relationship with Anthony.
Anthony’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes Malone realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, from him.
Malone secretly feeds inside information to the defense about his firms ‘questionable dealings which they use against him when he is put on the stand, to help Anthony get off.
There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
“The Kid from Lynbrook” is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and inspires another kid like him to follow in his footsteps. Great irony on how history repeats itself.
This film will appeal to fans of Wall Street movies like “Wall Street”, “Boiler Room”, “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Big Short”, and be attractive to teenage kids, as it provides a comedic look on how a kid can expose the whole system. -
Michael Wallace’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment was to avoid telling the story, and instead focus on pointing out interesting hooks that would interest the Producer.
1 Our hero is a Wall Street executive during the “dot com” boom who makes money for his clients, but also manipulates the market for his company’s gain and those he choses to benefit. He returns to his hometown and mentors a twelve-year-old kid in a school stock trading club to win back his childhood sweetheart, who is a teacher in the kid’s school.
2 The opening scene is a little league baseball game set when the executive was a twelve-year-old kid, and he win’s the game by hitting a home run which ends by him taking out the opposing team’s catcher in a play at the plate. He looks up in the stands and sees “his girl” staring at the opposing team’s catcher lying on the ground. He helps the catcher up to win the smile of his girl. This scene defines the character and his objectives.
3 The executive gives the kid inside information to help him win his stock picking contest, and in exchange the kid agrees to help the executive by finding out any information he can on his teacher, to help the executive win her back. Everything is going great until it is discovered through an SEC probe that the kid is trading real stocks in an account set up in his mother’s name and making a fortune.
4 The politically motivated NYS AG (the villain) who vows to clean up Wall Street in his quest to become the next Governor, faces the dilemma of prosecuting a kid for insider trading after he refuses to settle, and the media won’t let the story go away. Despite his company’s political contributions, he secretly threatens to go after the executive if he doesn’t agree to testify against the kid.
5 After resisting at first, the executive agrees to testify to save himself, losing the girl and his relationship with the kid.
6 The kid’s heart wrenching testimony on the stand makes the executive realize that he learned everything that is wrong with Wall Street, and those that get away with questionable activities like him, from him.
7 The night before he is supposed to testify, he secretly feeds inside information about his firms dealings to help the kid get off. -
Michael Wallace Producer/Manager
What I learned was that I must have my pitch on my first project as focused and concise as it can be, and I must research potential Managers and Producers that work on projects that are most similar to mine.
I will present myself to a producer by having my pitch ready and also point out the marketable components of the project. I will also have pitches and marketable components ready on my next two projects in case I am asked.
I will present myself to a manager similar to a producer in regards to pitch and marketable components, but also talk about my long-term plans and goals as s writer/producer. I have an extensive entrepreneurial background and understand that great businesses are built by great teams not any one person’s ideas or solutions.
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Michael Wallace’s Marketable Components –
What I learned from doing this assignment is to focus on the marketable elements of the script to help Producers visualize a path to success.
Logline A Wall Street executive returns to his hometown to win back his childhood sweetheart by mentoring a kid in a school stock trading club, until it is discovered that the kid is trading real stocks using his inside knowledge.
Marketable Components
Unique- There have been many successful movies about Wall Street, but none from the perspective of a twelve-year-old kid.
Great Title – “The Kid from Lynbrook” is about a Wall Street executive that returns to his hometown and inspires another kid like him to follow in his footsteps. Great irony.
Wide audience appeal – and similar to box office successes – This will appeal to fans of Wall Street movies like “Wall Street”, “Boiler Room”, “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “The Big Short”, and be attractive to teenage kids, as it provides a comedic look on how a kid can expose the whole system. -
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Title: The Kid from Lynbrook
Concept: A Wall Street executive returns to his hometown to win back his childhood sweetheart by mentoring a kid in a school stock trading club, until it is discovered that the kid is trading real stocks using his inside knowledge.
I will target Producers first to see if I can generate interest in the project. If I find real interest I think it would be much easier to fund a manger or agent.
What I learned was the basic Do’s and don’ts’s to pitching. It is not story telling as I have done in the past. I am anxious to learn how to best present my project(s).
Michael Wallace “The Kid from Lynbrook” Drama/Comedy -
I agree to the terms of the confidentiality agreement. Michael Wallace
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Hi my name is Michael Wallace and I’ve written four screenplays, three of which I am ready to pitch. I have an extensive business background and have set up my own Production Company to help Produce my screenplays, if the opportunity presents itself. I’ve been through the Sundance Producers Lab, but know there is no substitute for experience. I hope to learn how to pitch in this class, and just as importantly what NOT to do, as you only get one chance to make a first impression. Looking forward to hearing everyone’s pitches and projects. Thank you, Michael http://www.newviewent.com
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Michael Profiles People
What I’ve learned from this is that I can improve my writing by giving my characters several more extreme core traits, some good, some bad. By making my characters more extreme it will add depth to the characters and provide more opportunities for greater conflict.
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PERSON 1, Core Traits:
– outgoing, can be very friendly and personable
– adventurous, likes to try different things, fun to be with
– belligerent, can be condescending and abusive
– confrontational, likes to get others worked up for funPERSON 2, Core Traits:
– generous and sentimental
– hardworking and reliable
– can be condescending and hard to work with
– can be defensive and confrontationalPERSON 3, Core Traits:
– ambitious and successful in her career
– a snob, judgmental and arrogant
— belligerent and condescending
– abusive to her husband and others============================
My main characters in KIDSIDE TRADER
Brendan Malone (protag):
– Successful Wall Street executive and knows it
– smart, tough and willing to take no prisoners
– can be charming but always with a purpose
– is conflicted in his relationship with Cindy in that he desires her but always screws it upAnthony Capparelli (protag):
– smart beyond his years
– learns form Wall Street’s best not realizing what is right and wrong
– loyal and keeps his word
– not willing to admit he is wrongCindy
– strong and caring
– willing to go out of her way for others
– puts herself in vulnerable positions over and over– Naive
Cacoulidis (antag):
– arrogant and self-centered
– ambitious
– dishonest
– willing to break the law to get what he wants -
Michael Puts the Essence to Work
What I have learned is that you need to look at the whole scene and break it down to find what contributes to finding the essence. If the action or dialogue does not contribute to finding the essence it needs to be cut or rewritten.
My script I chose: Kidside Trader
Logline: A Wall Street executive returns to his hometown to win back his childhood sweetheart by mentoring a kid in a school stock trading club, until it is discovered that the kid is trading real stocks using his inside knowledge.
Scene 1
Location: Scene 3 INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM 1973
Logline: Young Brendan Malone is introduced to the world of finance by a guest from Wall Street.
Essence I’ve Discovered: The scene as written is too long and the dialogue too wordy. Young Malone seems to pick up what the guest is saying by osmosis, instead of listening what he has to say. The guest must grab Young Malone’s attention and intrigue him on the world of finance.
New logline: A classroom guest from Wall Street grabs the attention of Young Brendan Malone intriguing him on the possibility of becoming a millionaire.
Scene 2
Location First Act INT. MALONES EXECUTUVE OFFICE
Logline: Childhood friend Jack Schmitt asks Malone to come back to his old school to speak to his son’s stock trading club.
Essence I’ve Discovered: The phone conversation between the two characters was too wordy and not contributing to the essence of the story.
New logline: Jack Schmitt convinces Malone to come back to his old school by enticing him with the possibility of meeting his childhood sweetheart.
Scene 3
Location: First Act EXT SCHOOL PLAYGROUND
Logline: Cindy Kowalski consoles a young girl in the school playground that is being teased by a boy.
Essence I’ve Discovered: While this scene is cute and does show that Cindy finds dealing with boys challenging it does move the story forward, so it isn’t necessary.
New Logline: None. This scene is eliminated.
Scene 4
Location: First Act INT. CLASSROOM
Logline: Malone is taken back by 12-year-old Anthony Capparelli by the questions he asks him about his stock picks and requesting to visit his office.
Essence I’ve Discovered: Malone turns down the kids request until he meets Cindy and changes his mind and invites her to come as well. He is really only interested in what he wants at this point so for him to agree right away doesn’t fit the essence.
New logline: Malone visits his old school and turns down Anthony’s request to visit his office until he meets Cindy and changes his mind.
Scene 5
Location: Second Act INT. MALONES OFFICE
Logline: Anthony visits Malone office and they make a deal to help each other.
Essence I’ve Discovered: The dialogue is too wordy and doesn’t focus on the essence of the scene and the story and needs to be cut down.
New Logline: Anthony visits Malone’s office and they make a secret deal to help each other get what they want.
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Michael Wallace Finds the Essence
What I learned is that the search for the essence is that it defines the building blocks for the the story itself, moving the story forward while keeping the audience engaged
Script I choose: Saving Private Ryan
Scene 1 Location: Early in First Act
Logline: As the battle worn American troops storm the beaches of Normandy, Captain Miller takes charge of the chaos and fear to lead his troops in battle.
Essence: Captain Miller hides his own fear, using sarcasm and indifference to the horror of war and death around him to lead his men forward.Scene 2 Location: In the First Act
Logline: Captain Miller offers himself as an enemy target to save his men.
Essence: Captain Miller continuously puts his own life at risk to protect his men and move the mission forward.Scene 3 Location: In the First Act
Logline: After Private Ryan’s three brothers are all killed in combat, General Marshall gives the order to find Private Ryan and bring him home.
Essence: This scene sets the stage for the balance of the story and changes Captain Miller and his troops mission and their roll in the war.Scene 4 Location: At the end of Act One
Logline: Captain Miller and his men leave the massive military undertaking at Normandy to find one man in the middle of a war, to bring him home.
Essence: Despite all the death and destruction around them, Miller and his troops risk their own lives to save one, and offer some sense of humanity in an inhumane world.Scene 5 Location: At the beginning of Act Three
Logline: After Miller and his men finally find Private Ryan, he refuses to leave and abandon his own troops and their mission.Essence: Private Ryan’s actions changes the view of Miller and his troops and unites them all to stay and fight despite the cost.
My selection for most profound essence: The scene where Miller find Ryan and he refuses to leave and abandon his men and duty.
ON THE BRIDGE
The Paratroopers pour a HEAVY STREAM OF BULLETS at the German
positions.
Miller makes it to the bridge and DIVES over a defensive
jumble of crates, sandbags and bodies.
He finds himself next to SERGEANT BILL FORREST who was the
young but grizzled voice that called out. With Forrest are
some very worn-out, young AMERICAN PARATROOPERS. Miller
catches his breath.FORREST
Navy, sir, twenty-one to nineteen.
They won on a field goal in
overtime.
92.MILLER
I’ll keep it in mind.
(calls to Sarge)
OKAY, SARGE, ONE AT A TIME.Miller and the paratroopers FIRE COVER for Miller’s men as
they come in. Miller and Forrest alternately take and FIRE.FORREST
Are we glad to see you, sir, we
were supposed to hold this bridge
for twenty-four hours, it’s been
six days.MILLER
Things are tough all over. We’re
looking for a Private James Ryan.FORREST
Ryan?MILLER
Is he here?Forrest motions to one of the paratroopers.
FORREST
Go get Ryan.
(to Miller)
What do you want him for, sir?Miller doesn’t answer. Jackson leaps over the barricade and
scrambles to them.MILLER
Jackson, get a hold of command.Jackson cranks up the five-thirty-five. Miller turns to
Forrest.MILLER
(continuing)
How many men do you have?They pause to FIRE, covering Sarge, the last of Miller’s men
to leap over the barricade.FORREST
Eleven, sir. We started with
thirty-six.
(more)
93.FORREST (cont’d)
The bridge was easy to take but
the Krauts have been coming back
at us ever since. They must want
it intact or we’d be long gone.Jackson speaks into the radio handset, repeating Miller’s
hailing I.D. No response.JACKSON
Not yet.MILLER
Keep trying.FORREST
Sir, what do you want with Ryan?Miller doesn’t answer, he looks past Forrest and sees:
PRIVATE JAMES RYAN
Dashing from cover to cover, making his way toward them.
Ryan is an American classic, nineteen years old, earthy,
handsome, sharp, cocky. Though he’s exhausted, unshaven, and
smeared with dirt and blood, he’s very alive. His eyes
shine, his face has a spark. You can’t help but love this
kid.
MILLER’S MEN
All watch Ryan run toward them.JACKSON
So, that’s Ryan.REIBEN
Looks like a flaming asshole to me.Their eyes remain glued to Ryan as he makes it to the
barricade. He salutes Miller.RYAN
I’m Ryan, sir. You wanted to see
me?Miller looks at Ryan for a moment, amazed that he’s finally
face-to-face with him. Ryan waits. Miller hesitates,
searching for words. Then he speaks gently but clearly.
94.MILLER
Private, I’ve got some bad news
for you. Your brothers have been
killed in action.The life instantly drains from Ryan. His breath comes hard.
Somehow he remains upright.RYAN
All three?MILLER
Yes.Ryan sways. Miller grabs him and eases him back, leaning him
against some sandbags.
THE PARATROOPERS
Are stunned at the news. They look at Ryan, there’s nothing
else they can do.
MILLER’S MEN
Also look at Ryan, but then, one after another, they turn
away, adverting their eyes, looking a their own boots, the
debris on the bridge, the sky, anything other than Ryan.MILLER
We’ve been sent to get you out of
here. You’re going home.Ryan weakly waves Miller off. Miller motions to his men and
the paratroopers to move away. They do so, giving Ryan a
little room.FORREST
Three brothers, the poor son-of-a bitch.MILLER
Sergeant, we’re moving out and I’m
taking you and your men with me.FORREST
But, sir, our orders are clear,
we’re to hold this bridge until
we’re relieved by forward elements
of the Twenty-ninth Division.MILLER
I’m giving you new orders,
Sergeant.FORREST
Sir, you can’t do that, these
orders are from command.MILLER
I’m not going to leave you and
your men here to get killed. Get
them together, we’re moving out.A VOICE from behind them speaks simply, clearly, firmly.
RYAN (O.S.)
No, sir.
They all turn and see Ryan standing there. Miller is about
to automatically rip Ryan a new asshole for contradicting
him, but he quickly calms himself, gently touches Ryan on the
arm and speaks softly to him.MILLER
Come on, Private, you’re going
home.Ryan jerks away from Miller.
RYAN
No, sir.All eyes are on Miller and Ryan. Miller remains patient.
MILLER
Private. I’m sorry about your
brothers but staying here and
getting yourself killed isn’t
going to help.RYAN
Sir, if the Krauts are holding
this bridge when division shows
up, our guys are going to be
sitting ducks.MILLER
This bridge cannot be held. The
Germans have two companies less
than three miles from here. They
have tanks.That news clearly affects Ryan and the other paratroopers,
but Ryan holds his ground.RYAN
Sir, I’m still not going.Miller speaks with restrained, but growing, anger.
MILLER
Private, if you want to commit
suicide, that’s your choice, but
you’re going to have to wait until
after I get you back to the beach.
And you’re not going to take these
men with you.Ryan stands eye-to-eye with Miller.
RYAN
I’m not leaving, sir.Miller starts to boil over.
MILLER
The hell you aren’t, you’re comin’
with me if I have to drag you
every inch of the way. You hear
me, Private?RYAN
I hear you sir, but I’m not
leaving.Miller grabs Ryan by the lapels and shakes him. Ryan doesn’t
resist.MILLER
Listen you little son-of-a-bitch
you’re coming with me or
I’ll…I’ll…Ryan speaks softly.
RYAN
What are you going to do, sir,
shoot me?Miller considers it. Then REIBEN SPEAKS UP from behind
Miller.REIBEN
(politely)
Uh, excuse me, Captain.Miller slowly turns and glares.
REIBEN
(continuing)
So, what are a few tanks, sir?Miller’s more amazed than pissed off. Reiben smiles.
REIBEN
(continuing)
He’s right, we can’t shoot
him…well, we could but we’d get
in an enormous amount of trouble.
And he’s right about the bridge,
it’s a hell of a lot more
important than he is. -
Hi everyone,
My name is Michael Wallace, I’ve written four screenplays, and have gotten good feedback, but want to make them better. I’ve taken a number of screenwriting and producing classes including the “30 day screenplay class” through Screenwriting U, which I took during the pandemic. I thought it was great and that’s why I’m back.
Looking forward to working with you.
Best, Michael Wallace
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Michael Wallace
“GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Michael’s Marketable Components
What I learned doing this assignment is that by focusing on what components of the story are most important to the person I am pitching to, I have a better chance of generating interest.
Logline: A hot shot Wall Street executive returns to his hometown to win back his childhood sweetheart by mentoring a kid is a school stock trading club in the school where she teaches, until it is discovered that the kid is trading teal stocks using his inside knowledge.
Great title: KIDSIDE TRADER
Unique: A kid becomes a huge online trading success before being targeted by regulators and exposing the ironic hypocrisy of Wall Street, the financial regulators and the media.
Timely: While set in the “dot com” boom of the late 1990’s, a theme running through the story is that to many traders it is like a game with it’s highs and lows, and history has a way of repeating itself as traders manipulate the market; like the traders of Gamestop and AMC stocks today.
This story has a wide audience appeal from teenagers to lovers of Wall Street movies of all ages. It offers great roles for bankable actors:
Ex: Brendan Malone: Wall Street rock star trying to recapture the love of his youth, finding redemption in the process.
KIDSIDE TRADER is family friendly film with a social message told in an entertaining way.
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Genre; Drama Title: KIDSIDE TRADER
Concept: A twelve-year-old kid shows the lack of transparency and hypocrisy in our financial markets, including those who regulate them, in a humorous way.
While there have been many successful movies about Wall Street, there are none that portray it from a child’s perspective seeking to emulate his Wall Street heroes and their “success”.
I will target potential co-producers to help attach talent that will help finance the film.
What I learned from this class was to organize my thoughts and ideas in a concise way to improve my pitch.
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I, Michael Wallace agree to the terms of this release form.
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Hi everyone. My name is Michael Wallace from Long Island, New York and I have written three screenplays and have started a fourth. I set up my own production company last year (great timing), to produce my first screenplay which I have a director attached. I am trying to build relationships with collaborators and financiers and hope to learn new strategies in this course. I have extensive entrepreneurial experience and believe that my business experience combined with like-minded producers with more experience in this business will be a formula for success. Michael Wallace