[Michael Yorick]

Mike’s villain has a great plan

Learned: having a strong villain’s plan will make outlining so much easier.

1. End goal of the Villain – to take over the country via a coup.

2. Accomplish/devious – he has teamed up with the mafia to coerce silence/cooperation and fund bribes, and uses the mafia as a scapegoat for killings

3. Cover up – bribing, discrediting or killing anyone that stands in the way

4. Sequence –

a. Kill the Secretary of State [brother of the President] who discovered the plot

b. Use loyal subordinate/Red Herring to control the investigation

c. Bribe Hero to ignore the mafia in the investigation and try to kill him if he doesn’t comply

d. Fabricate evidence to implicate mafia in Sec State’s death

e. Kill IM official who offered bribe to Sec State

f. Attempt to kill Mafia Boss

g. Co-opt Finance Minister – fabricate evidence of financial crimes against President and PM

h. Co-opt Defense Minister – control military for coup

i. Trigger coup

[Michael Yorick]

Mike’s SOTL & BI stacking suspense

1. Each scene in a strong thriller has an MIS – true for both BI and SOTL

2. The intensity of the MIS for characters can change over the course of the film. Catharine’s mystery seemed to decrease, while Beth’s increased.

3. Most good scenes pose a question that propels the viewer forward into the succeeding scene.

4. The most impactful scenes had readily identifiable stakes included.

[Michael Yorick]

<div>Mike’s World and Characters</div>

Big Mystery: Who killed two diplomats, and why?

Big Intrigue: Villain’s government forces have teamed up with the mafia to engineer a coup

Big Suspense: The villain has killed two diplomats, and will kill anyone that tries to stop the coup plot

World – Eastern European country that is economically unstable, and politically divided between factions headed by strong-men who are competing for absolute control.

Thomas – hero – American Embassy security Deputy Chief

· What is the mystery of this character? His brother, an American diplomat, was assassinated. Who has killed him and why?

· What is the intrigue of this character? He must covertly probe his Interior Ministry investigation partners to solve the case

· What is the suspense of this character? Will he be killed while investigating the murder?

Viktor – villain – Interior Minister, oversees the assassination investigation

· What is the mystery of this character? Which of the factions does the villain support?

· What is the intrigue of this character? He controls all Interior Ministry resources and the mafia, keeping one step ahead of the investigation.

· What is the suspense of this character? Will he succeed in his coup?

Alexi – Red Herring – Interior Minister’s second in command, directly responsible for the investigation

· What is the mystery of this character? Is he responsible for the murders?

· What is the intrigue of this character? He is looking for promotion, is loyal to his boss and the Interior Ministry

· What is the suspense of this character? Will he be killed while investigating the murder?

[Michael Yorick]

Mike’s MIS

Logline: After witnessing the assassination of his brother, an American Embassy official teams up with local police to find the killers and is drawn into stopping an impending coup.

What are the conventions of your story?

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Thomas, former special forces, and Deputy Head of Embassy Security

Dangerous Villain: Victor, Interior Minister, head of internal security

High stakes: The villain plans to take over the country

Life and death situations: diplomats’ death, killing Embassy and government officials

This story is thrilling because? Thomas must work with the Interior Ministry to solve the killings, but someone inside the Ministry is responsible

2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?

Big Mystery: Who killed two diplomats, and why?

Big Intrigue: Villain’s government forces have teamed up with the mafia to engineer a coup

Big Suspense: The villain has killed two diplomats, and will kill anyone that tries to stop the coup plot

[Michael Yorick]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – Thriller Conventions

• Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Former MI6 Deputy / George Smiley
• Dangerous Villain: The traitor / Bill Hayden
• High stakes: The fate of the entire MI6 organization is at stake
• Life and death situations: Potential death of agents, including Jim Prideaux, Istanbul Station Chief, Ricki Tarr and the Russian agents/source, Irina and Boris
• This movie is thrilling because? The audience doesn’t know the identity of the traitor until the end.
• Big Mystery: Who is the traitor?
• Big Intrigue: The traitor’s boss in Moscow, Karla, seems to be one step ahead of the investigation
• Big Suspense: Will the traitor evade detection

[Michael Yorick]

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM FOR “THRILLER 20” CLASS
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That everyone’s work here is copyrighted and they are the sole
owner of that work. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this
group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that
idea.

2. That this program is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun and I will not share,
disclose, present, or deliver the information, design, and writing of this
program to anyone for any reason without written permission from Hal Croasmun.

3. That I will keep the other writers’ ideas and writing confidential
(including Hal’s materials) and will not share this information with
anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner.
I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone
outside this group.

4. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or
have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can
independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or
movie idea.

5. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for
any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted
work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from
marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents,
managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment
industry organizations or people.

[Michael Yorick]

MIKE’S VILLAIN TRACK

A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.

The villain created the plan before the hero was involved, and the hero stumbled upon the plot.

B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero?

Kill anyone that betrays his plan, leverage informants to stop the hero, destroy evidence collected, kill hero’s partner, assault the hero,

C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie?

Access to security forces and mafia hitmen. Eyes and ears everywhere.

D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done?

Mafia kills the villain after failure of the plot

VERSION PLAN 2 – plan for the theft and coup are in place. Hero discovered the plan in progress.

Hero – David / Villain – Gabor

· Preparation – Gabor plots with the mafia, bribing the security forces with mafia money

· Kick off – Gabor starts the countdown to the plot, but it is discovered by David

· Kill the collaborator – Gabor finds that David has turned one of the plotters, so he sends a security team to kill the collaborator

· Get someone inside – Gabor threatens the family of David’s secretary, and forces her to steal the evidence provided by the dead plotter

· Blow up office – Gabor uses the mafia to blow up the office building, killing David’s colleague… but David escapes

· Track and kill David – Gabor’s mafia contracts track David to the National Bank, ambushing him as he searches for evidence… he escapes

· Draw David into a trap – Gabor sends a plotter as an informant, telling David that evidence exists in Gabor’s villa

· Attack at the Villa – David is ambushed at the Villa, but David escapes with evidence

· Death – David gives evidence to the Hungarian president, and Gabor is on the run. The mafia kill Gabor before he can be jailed by the authorities.

[Michael Yorick]

<div>Mike’s Hero’s Mission Track</div>

Clear Mission: In discovering the fate of his father during the 1956 Hungarian Revolution, David discovers his father’s killer, who is plotting to steal the country’s foreign exchange reserves to trigger a coup

Motivation: David wants revenge for his father’s murder

Inciting Incident: David discovers that the man who had his father killed is planning a coup

First Action: track down one of the plotters at his home

Discovery: secretary in office is betraying David and feeding info to Gabor

Obstacle: security forces arrive at the house, and kill the plotter

Escalation: mafia blows up office and destroying evidence and killing his partner

Overwhelming Odds: breaks into National Bank/ambushed must fight his way out

New Plan: find details in Gabor’s villa

Full out Attack: fights his way to the safe in the villa and finds the evidence to stop the plot

Success: Stops the plot and Gabor killed by the mafia for his failure

[Michael Yorick]

David and Gabor

Concept: David, a CIA financial crimes specialist must stop a plot by the head of the Hungarian National Bank to steal the country’s entire foreign exchange reserves and take over the country in the ensuing chaos

Hero Morally Right: stopping a killer from destroying a newly emerging democracy

Villain Morally Wrong: economic devastation of an entire nation and return to Communism

Hero: David: A financial crimes specialist on assignment in Hungary searching for his father’s killer

A. Unique Skill Set: expert at untangling financial crimes… and a former Navy SEA

B. Motivation: Revenge for killing his father and exiling his mother

C. Secret or Wound: Villain killed his father in the 1956 Hungarian Revolution

Villain: Gabor: Former Communist and Head of the National Bank

A. Unbeatable: secretly controls the State security forces and the Russian mafia

B. Plan/Goal: steal the countries’ entire foreign exchange reserves and take over the country

C. What they lose if Hero survives: lose his political power, his freedom and $10B in cash

Impossible Mission: David must uncover the details and expose the plot

A. Puts Hero in Action: in discovering that Gabor has killed his father, David discovers the plot

B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: the plotters have the resources of the government and support of the Russians

C. Destroy the Villain: to stop the plot, and to get revenge for his father’s death, Gabor must die

[Michael Yorick]

Mike’s Conventions

Concept: A US intelligence agent must stop a plot by the head of the Hungarian National Bank to steal the country’s entire foreign exchange reserves.

Conventions

Hero: US intelligence agent that is the world’s expert in financial crimes

Mission: Prevent a plot to bankrupt and destroy the economy of an entire nation

Demand For Action: The plotters will kill anyone who tries to stop them

Antagonist: Corrupt government official with connections to security services and the mob

Escalating Action: Security services and mafia will kill anyone or destroy anything to hide their plot

[Michael Yorick]

Mike Yorick

I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM FOR “Writing Killer Action Scripts” CLASS
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That everyone’s work here is copyrighted and they are the sole
owner of that work. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this
group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that
idea.

2. That this program is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun and I will not share,

disclose, present, or deliver the information, design, and writing of this

program to anyone for any reason without written permission from Hal Croasmun.

3. That I will keep the other writers’ ideas and writing confidential
(including Hal’s materials) and will not share this information with
anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner.
I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone
outside this group.

4. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or
have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can
independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or
movie idea.

5. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for
any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted
work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from
marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents,
managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment
industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for Writing Killer Action Scripts.

[Michael Yorick]

Cheryl… need your help… have sent a couple requests to Support without response. My account shows that I’m not registered for the Action course (I have an email from you that I’ve paid). Also (maybe as a result), I can’t find the Group Confidentiality… appreciate your assistance…

Mike

[Michael Yorick]

Hey… I’m Mike… I’m a beginner, and haven’t written a full script. I’m looking to devote a serious effort to develop my writing skills after dabbling in writing during a career in finance. Just left my job at the end of 2020, and excited to move from dabbling to serious…