[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Actor Attractors

I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is

Character: “JO” Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Jo is experiencing a multitude of things that many middle-aged women experience, and she has been stuck in a pattern, but is trying to change her life and things keep holding her back. She will eventually overcome and change her life.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? Her realness/relatability.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? She will take a taco truck cook hostage, steal the truck and use it to get her new friend to the hospital. She will go up against a bunch of bad guys!

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? Jo is getting “shit” on from every direction and holding it together…but we know she will reach her limit so the audience will be curious as to how she will eventually blow!

5. What could be this character’s emotional range. The range will be huge and complex. (think the graveyard scene with Sally Field in Steel Magnolias)

6. What subtext can the actor play? She knows she is going to be a grandma but can’t bring herself to tell her sister.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? The twin sister aspect.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

9. What could make this character special and unique? Her ability to quietly persevere with grace and then when her switch flips, she becomes an un-expeceted force.

Character: “JENNY” ANTAGONIST

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? She is FUN and FUNNY has great one-liners.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? Her sense of humor and that she appears to have it all together to her sister JO but is hiding her own secrets.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? She will be so much fun!

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? Her sense of humor.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range.

6. What subtext can the actor play? She is hiding her own secrets.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? With her twin.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Genre Conventions

I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is that I will keep the genre conventions with me as I write my outline and scenes, I did find my four act initial outline aligns well with both the conventions lists and I know I’m on the right path, I just need to make sure I don’t start to deviate.

Title: Chelsea Handler – It’s all your fault
Concept: When a famous comedian cancels her show last minute, two
middle-aged sisters find themselves having a wild night they’ll never
forget.
Genre – Comedy or Action/Comedy

CONVENTIONS OF COMEDY

PURPOSE​: To entertain the audience with a story packed with laughter-inducing moments.

INCONGRUENCE:​ Some aspect of the journey, world, characters, or perspective is incongruent in a way that causes the audience to laugh. The unconventional pairing of two things, people, or situations in any way that causes laughter.

MECHANICS OF COMEDY:​ Specific devices are used to induce laughter: Primarily, the Setup / Punchline. Also, devices like toppers, running gags, sight and prop humor. This also includes comedic situations like “Fish out of water,” Incongruent Pairings, Hilarious Purpose, Absurd situation, Misinterpretation, etc..

COMEDIC PROTAGONIST(S):​ Whether deliberately funny or the ‘straight man’ of the story, the Protagonist triggers countless amusing situations through their incongruent perspectives, choices and reactions to events.

STRONG STORY:​ Comedy is not enough. You need a story that keeps us engaged throughout the movie.

CONVENTIONS OF ACTION

PURPOSE: ​ To excite your audience with an adrenaline-stirring, fast-paced, big-event story.

DEMAND FOR ACTION: ​There is a problem or goal that the only solution is a high level of action (Intense fighting, running, escaping, and/or competing). Plot, character, and situations are all designed to demand Action!

MISSION: ​There is a stated or implied mission. The Hero must take down the antagonistic force, defend against overwhelming odds, or escape the inescapable.

ESCALATING ACTION: ​Overcoming the problem requires greater and greater heights of action (and involving higher stakes) as the story progresses.

HERO: ​ Highly capable and skilled. Often, they bring a unique skill or talent to the fight that has them stand out from other heroes in the genre.

ANTAGONISTS: ​ Clearly evil / corrupt / malicious, necessitating decisive and expedient action to deal with them.

Act 1:

Opening – All the “life” stuff that
is happening to both the sisters but more-so to Jo.
Inciting Incident – They have been
so looking forward to a night out for their birthday – but the comedian
cancelled and they did not get the notification
Turning Point – Jo would normally
throw in the towel and quit in defeat but she decides to go out and have
fun with a few women they just met that were also supposed to go to the
concert

Act 2:

New plan- all the fun of a crazy
night, new friends, new experiences
Plan in action – not sure
Midpoint Turning Point – the stolen
cell phone sends things careening down a dangerous path

Act 3:

Rethink everything – oops we are in
danger the chase begins
New plan
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major
shift – someone gets hurt, taco truck stolen to get to hospital – Jo gets
fired

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the
conflict – chase is not over, end up in the comedian’s hospital room (it’s
all YOUR fault!!!)
Resolution – Jo stands up for
herself and refuses to be fired.
Promise of a relationship.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Four-Act Transformation

I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is that I have some holes that I need to figure out. And I need ot see how my story fits the 4 act plan a bit better.

Concept: When a famous comedian
cancels her show last minute, two middle-aged sisters find themselves
having a wild night they’ll never forget.

Main Conflict: The sisters get
caught in the middle of a divorced couple, law enforcement, an informant,
and drug dealers.
Old Ways: Never says NO, settles,
lacks confidence, stays quiet. Accepts mediocrity.
New Ways:
Puts her foot down. Wants more-choose more. Brave. Speaks up.

Act 1:

Opening
– All the “life” stuff that is happening to both the sisters but more-so to
Jo.
Inciting
Incident – They have been so looking forward to a night out for their
birthday – but the comedian cancelled and they did not get the notification
Turning Point – Jo would normally
throw in the towel and quit in defeat but she decides to go out and have
fun with a few women they just met that were also supposed to go to the
concert

Act 2:

New plan- all the fun of a crazy
night, new friends, new experiences
Plan
in action – not sure
Midpoint
Turning Point – the stolen cell phone sends things careening down a
dangerous path

Act 3:

Rethink
everything – oops we are in danger the chase begins
New
plan
Turning
Point: Huge failure / Major shift – someone gets hurt, taco truck stolen
to get to hospital – Jo gets fired

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate
expression of the conflict – chase is not over, end up in the comedian’s hospital
room (it’s all YOUR fault!!!)
Resolution
– Jo stands up for herself and refuses to be fired. Promise of a relationship.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Subtext Plot

I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

“What I learned from doing this assignment is that I’m still not sure I really understand this concept, but people who have read my writing say I do…so there’s that…

Tell us your concept and your choice of one or two of these Subtext Plots.

Someone
Hides Who They Are
A Major
Cover Up (not really major-but one none-the-less)

Give us a few sentences on how your Subtext Plot will play out inside this story.

1.) There is a character that the sisters join with that is recently divorced and partying with them. Her ex-husband ends up being a drug dealer that the sisters think is chasing them after the woman steals his phone. What is really happening is he has turned informant and has “divorced” his wife to protect her. Therefore the big chase is between FBI agents, real bad guys, and fake bad guys.

2.)Jo is going to be a grandma but is afraid to tell her sister or really accept it herself.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Transformational Journey

I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

What I learned from doing this assignment was this was a nice way of starting to clarify the character.

Tell us the Character Arc for your Protagonist:

Arc Beginning: Jo has been trying to change her life
but is still timid and unsure.
Arc Ending: Jo finally claims her life as her own and
stands up for herself.

Give us their Internal/External Journey.

Internal Journey: timid, afraid, unsure, unconfident. But
knows there is more to life.
External Journey: walked on at work and by everyone

Tell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.

Old Ways: Never says NO, settles, lacks confidence,
stays quiet. Accepts mediocrity.
New Ways: Puts her foot down. Wants more-choose more.
Brave. Speaks up.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Intentional Lead Characters.

I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

What I learned from doing this assignment was that I am creative even when I don’t really understand technical writing concepts. For example I’m not sure I have the correct antagonist, I listed the one that starts the night off, but there will be several that push the night along.

Character:
Jo Carter (Protagonist Lead) <div> Logline:
Jo is a middle aged nurse that has made the wrong decisions her entire
life until just recently. <div>

Unique:
Not many people really change their life around in middle age.

Character: Jen Carter
(Protagonist/Antagonist)

Logline:
Jen is Jo’s twin sister who has sailed through life in comparison, but is
just better at hiding her troubles.

Unique:
The twin comparison.

Character: Chelsea Handler
(Antagonist)
Logline:
A star comedian ends up in the hospital the night of her show and must
cancel, this begins a string of events that leads to a wild night for two
sisters.

Unique:
This was inspired by a real event.

</div></div>

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’ Title, Concept and Character Structure.

VISION: I will be a prolific writer that is sought out because of my ability to truly touch people and create memorable stories and I will have financial freedom and time with my family as I travel the world.

What I learned from doing this assignment…that I’m sooo ready to write this one!

TITLE: Chelsea Handler: It’s all your fault. (aka Mom Hangover)

Genre: Comedy
High Concept: When a famous
comedian cancels her show last minute, two middle-aged sisters find
themselves having a wild night they’ll never forget.
Major Story Hook: Would your mom
survive a “say yes to everything” night?<div>

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: Mostly Protagonist /Antagonist with a dash of Buddy because they are twins/sisters.

</div>

[Michelle Damis]

My name is Michelle Damis. I’m an actor, stunt performer, and most recently a writer. I have completed a pilot and a feature. I plan to finish my next feature with this class, I find the structure Hal uses helps me stay on track while simultaneously learning about writing in general. I had to get over a hump and decide whether I was wasting my time in terms of writing. My last course gave me the confidence and a completed project that I’m really proud of and have a blast writing.

Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I have performed live with the Temptations, been a Budweiser girl, and have pulled my car in front of a “bad guy” running from the cops in the middle of a car chase so they could catch him.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Career Plan

What I learned from this lesson is… I know the answers.

1. Please tell us the answers to these questions about your next six months of activity:

A. What is your overall screenwriting goal for the next six months? To write another feature, work towards selling the ones I have, getting representation, and being relentlessly optimistic,

B. What are you going to do to elevate quality? Write as much as possible, learn, share, absorb, rewrite.

C. How are you going to build a library of marketable scripts? Strive for one every 3 months

D. What do you think might be your specialty (brand)? Dialogue and stories with heart even when funny or scary. A knack for intriguing realism.

E. How are you going build a stronger network? Take the time to organize all my connections and have it ready to strategically activate.

F. How are you going to improve your understanding of doing this business? Never stop learning.

G. How are you going to market yourself and your writing? Slow down and focus, I tend to get excited and rapid fire attack my targets. i.e. Don’t burn bridges.

[Michelle Damis]

Dear, ________

“What do empty-nester parents do when an adult child moves back home and disrupts your life? They invite a vampire to live with you instead!”

When a bored, existential, 600-year-old Vampire named Osgood finds himself homeless he decides to move in with mortals, ignoring Vampire law.

Jim and Marin Brewster are empty-nesters whose life has been disrupted by their angry 23-year-old daughter Nina moving back home. They devise a plan to take in a renter so they can pay her to live elsewhere and regain their peace.

On Halloween night a series of events are set in motion and the family ends up being caught in the middle of a vampire civil war. What side will Osgood take? And who will survive?

Michelle Damis is an actor and stunt performer that was inspired to tell this story after dealing with her own daughter moving back home.

I had so much fun writing this project. If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the entire script.

Sincerely,

Michelle Damis

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Query Letter

What I learned doing this assignment is to be succinct, and direct.

Dear, ________

“What do empty-nester parents do when an adult child moves back home and disrupts your life? They invite a vampire to live with you instead!”

When a bored, existential, 600-year-old Vampire named Osgood finds himself homeless he decides to move in with mortals, ignoring Vampire law.

Jim and Marin Brewster are empty-nesters whose life has been disrupted by their angry 23-year-old daughter Nina moving back home. They devise a plan to take in a renter so they can pay her to live elsewhere and regain their peace.

On Halloween night a series of events are set in motion and the family ends up being caught in the middle of a vampire civil war. What side will Osgood take? And who will survive?

Michelle Damis is an actor and stunt performer that was inspired to tell this story after dealing with her own daughter moving back home.

I had so much fun writing this project. If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the entire script.

Sincerely,

Michelle Damis

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Has Lots of Hooks

What I learned doing assignment Is that I think that cambing a Vampire with humans in a family setting makes almost every interaction a hook, just because of the nature of it.

Osgood

Nina

Marin

Jim

1. Unseen man, nervous teen- why?

2. Jump to Duran Duran concert- Fun

3. Bam- Vampire story BUT bored and homeless

4. Interesting Vampire perspective and world, unique twists and perspectives on rules and norms.

5. Vampire trying to kill himself??

6. Someone dies in laundromat.

7. A vampire with a conscious?

8. Guy spiking drink caught by Nina (this is her intro) she is feisty and fearless. Stands up for women.

9. What is Osgood going to do to Nina?

10. Glimpse of other vampire characters and fun twists

11. What’s this family about? Curiosity about dynamics.

12. Parents trying to get rid of their daughter.

13. Would you rather situation…a stranger ? a serial killer? Over your daughter.

14. Why did Nina lie about therapist? Whats going on?

15. More unique vampire stuff , depression. A vampire going to therapy?

16. A vampire living with humans? Interviews.

17. Blood Osgood can’t smell?

18. A vampire fitting into a family.

19. Nina at the call center, why does her therapist have her doing that and why is she so upset after?

20. Funny chat with deer and owl

21. A vampire doing chores, and a standoff with Raccoons.

22. Halloween connection

23. Jim and Osgood at the movies and park

24. More issues with blood

25. A vampire handing out candy on Halloween

26. Mother and daughter tension(relatable)

27. Why is the nun collecting the blood?

28. More danger, a kidnap, a search, a chase

29. The confession

30. More issues with blood

31. The nuns save them

32. The sun is going to kill Osgood

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Logline and One-Sentence Phone Pitch

“What I learned from this lesson is that I think it will be easier to sell the hooks than the logline. I still need logline clarity. Some people have loved the logline, but others think it is too long and unclear.

.

Write a logline for your screenplay for each of the 3 formulas:

a. A bored, depressed, homeless vampire moves in with empty-nester parents and finds his purpose and a family.

b. A bored, existential vampire seeking meaning to his life finds a family worth saving.

c. When a Vampires’s dwelling is set for demolition he moves in with empty-nester parents breaking Vampire code and putting them in danger.

2. Write a one-sentence phone pitch for your screenplay. First, tell us the biggest hook and then incorporate it into your one-sentence pitch.

Hooks-Family Friendly/wide audience and similar box office success….as well as a “Holiday” connection.

Empty Nest is a family-friendly Vampire story, The new ELF but for Halloween.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’s Marketable Components

“What I learned doing this assignment is that I can simplify my focus to be provide clarity and better target my potential producers.

LOGLINE: A bored, existential vampire forced to find a new place to live, finds a home with empty-nester parents, who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

G. Wide audience appeal.

I. Similarity to a box-office success.

Wide Audience Appeal: There doesn’t seem to be too many feel good, family friendly movies anymore. Ted Lasso did so well becuase it had that feel, I see this as reaching the same groups in a film.

Along with the above element it is similar to ELF and is loosely based around Halloween (which is a sub character in a way) and gives it a “holiday” marketability.

I wanted to create something that families could relate to and sit down and watch together. I set out to flip the narrative on the vampire genre and use a somewhat absurd premise to make people think about their purpose and perspective in life. This story is warm and funny while at the same time tackling several real-world issues. A vampire story with a heart, that is funny and relatable while being thought-provoking and existential. Who knew?

[Michelle Damis]

Sorry, I hate Twitter but I’ll use all my other platforms. I too have Fitness branded platforms for my other career, but I’ll either combine or ditch the fitness

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Network

What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to be careful not to start sending things out in excitement until I know that I’m ready. But….when and how do I know when it’s ready? I’ve gotten really great feedback from a few people in all the categories that are close friends.

1. Create a file on your computer or a pad of paper and answer these questions:

Who do you know inside the ProSeries and SU Alumni? Not really anyone besides who I’ve swapped assignments with.
Who do you know in other writing groups? A few people. One was a significant showrunner.
Who do you know in Industry groups? I know too many to list here….(don’t want to rewrite)
Who have you worked with on a movie? I’ve worked on a few dozen films and TV shows as well as my husband (I keep ALL crew/cast lists and emails)
Who do you know who knows someone inside the industry? Same as above.
Who are you connected to on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn that knows someone? Not on Twitter (I hate Twitter) Lots on FB. Linkedin was more fitness industry people, but I’m planning on re-doing my profile.

2. Now, categorize them:

Who fits into each category? (Use C to represent Category.)
C1. Cheerleaders/Friends.
C2. Feedback sources.
C3. Potential Fans.
C4. Potential Champions.

3. Answer, “What potential do you already see in your network?” I’m lucky to have so much potential

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis’s Marketing Campaign

Campaign Statement: I will be simultaneously trying to sell my script and work on self-funding/producing. Whichever one happens first.

Main Strategies: Making a list of everyone I have worked with and or met. Create a “sell” list, and a “produce with me” list.

-List of Directors I’ve worked with

-List of Actors

-List of who represents actors look for connection to get represented.

-List of Producers

-List of possible investors and other funding.

-List of writers I’ve worked with/know reach out about their representation-get a referral when possible.

What I learned doing this project is that I have lots of personal resources and need to get organized so I can be more effective.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Target Market

TITLE: EMPTY NEST

FORMAT/GENRE: Feature – Dark Comedy/Satire

LOGLINE: A bored, existential vampire forced to find a new place to live, finds a home with empty-nester parents, who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

1.) Movies- Elf, Little Miss Sunshine, Dark Shadows, Beetlejuice, Matilda

2.) Actors – Steve Carell, Hugh Grant, Phil Dunphy, Julianne Moore, Rene Russo, Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi McDowell Katey Sagal, Rob Sheehan, Lily Rose Depp, Kristie Dawn Dinsmore, Zoey Duetch

3.) Producers-Matilda-

MATILDA-Jersey Films- Danny Devitos Company, Martin Bregman, Liccy Dahl, Nicholas Kazan. Joshua Levinson, Micheal Peyser, Michael Shamberg, Stacey Sher, Robin Swicord.

ELF- Jon Favreau, Kent Alterman, Jon Berg, Cale Boyter, Julie Darmody, Toby Emmerich, David Householter, Todd Komarnicki, Jimmy Miller, Shauna Robertson

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE-Albert Berger, Michael Beugg, Jeb Brody, David Friendly, Bart Lipton, Marc Turtletaub, Peter Saraf, Ron Yerxa

DARK SHADOWS- Bruce Berman, Brenda Berrisford, Christi Dembrowski Johnny Depp, Katterli Frauenfelder, Derek Frey, Nigel Gostelow, Tim Headington, David Kennedy, Graham King, Chris Lebenzon, Richard Zanuck.

BEETLEJUICE- Eric Angelson, Micheal Bender, Richard Hashimoto June Peterson, Larry Wilson.

What I learned doing this assignment is that there are many avenues I can take, I also need to write a list of everyone I’ve worked with and all the emails I have collected over the years.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Project and Market

TITLE: EMPTY NEST

FORMAT/GENRE: Feature – Dark Comedy/Satire

LOGLINE: A bored, existential vampire forced to find a new place to live, finds a home with empty-nester parents, who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

COMPS: “ELF” (for Halloween)

WHAT IS ATTRACTIVE ABOUT MY STORY: It is something that families can relate to and sit down and watch together, the story is warm and funny while at the same time tackling several real world issues.

I set out to flip the narrative on the vampire genre and use a somewhat absurd premise to make people think about their purpose and perspective in life, a vampire story with a heart, that is funny and relatable while being thought provoking and existential. Who knew?

TARGETS: I think targeting producers and actors first is smart for me as I know far more of them than agents and managers. I think this project is different because it is family friendly in a world where so many shows are using shock value and not for families. Ted Lasso did so well because of this. I believe I’ve created something that will resonate with the Ted Lasso audience. It also has “holiday” marketability surrounding Halloween.

What I learned is that while getting representation is important to me, my connections elsewhere are going to serve me better and quicker.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Feedback for Amy Falkofske

I think this is a great premise, one I could see watching with my sister. (could see Kristen Bell as the lead, plus she is super gracious to work with)

You hit several of the opening events from the Mastery Sheet. I think there is room to expand on the character descriptions to paint a picture and create more tone. And some of the dialogue is a bit on the nose. I try to think about what I want the audience to feel from the dialogue instead of what I think I want them to say or what they need to say.

Is your twist that Meagan knows the husband? If so it is a great place for cleaver language and intrigue.

The rest of my feedback is below/mixed in. What a FUN piece to write. I hope you’re having fun writing it because that fun and joy should flow through into your words and actions.

FADE IN:

INT. – UNIVERSITY SCIENCE LAB – DAY

A large tube-like machine WHIRS LOUDLY. It’s huge. It takes up almost the whole room. It’s a supercollider.

An old man is running back and forth frantically. This is Dr. Smitty.

**Maybe something more ominous in description of machine?

**Description of Dr. Smitty so that the reader can see him in their head (both for reader and actor, what is interesting about him? He is the first character we see.

DR. SMITTY: TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

A young woman stands next to the machine unfazed, smug. It’s MEAGAN DONOHUE, 30s. She is Dr. Smitty’s teacher’s assistant.

**Description of Meagan WHY is she one of the leads? What is unique about her?

A man holding a camera stands frozen in place, not sure what to do. This is WBEN anchor Andrea Richards’ cameraman, MARK.

DR. SMITTY(to Meagan):COME ON YOU DOLT! JUST DON’T STAND THERE.

**if I had a better description of the DR. I might understand his use of the word DOLT, especially when he is speaking to a young pretty woman.

Dr. Smitty runs towards the machine. He reaches for the switch, but…

ANDREA RICHARDS, 30s, suddenly pops out of the machine. The normally quaffed news anchor is disheveled and completely disoriented. **Description Andrea….why is she so special that the entire story is about her?

Meagan frowns. Mark stands with his mouth open.

DR. SMITTY THANK GOD!

**If she is coming back 1 year later would Meagan and Mark be there? Or am I missing something? I’m not sure I understand the timeline.

ANDREA I’m back!

DR. SMITTY What happened? What did you see?

ANDREA I’ve got to go home. I need to talk to my family.

**Could be more provocative maybe if when she comes back she doesn’t really say anything?? That it is her emotion and action that tells the story of how she is feeling and what she is thinking. Maybe the audience would anticipate more if her emotion was clearer?

Andrea bolts out of the lab.

DR. SMITTY Wait! Mrs. Richards, we need to talk about this.

INT. – NEWS DESK – TWO WEEKS EARLIER

ANDREA RICHARDSON, (35) peers into a mirror and scrunches up her face. She is in her happy place, behind the anchor desk, where all her life’s purpose is and most of her self-worth lies.

**Description of Andrea…maybe this is the second description or additive to the earlier one. I think it could be appropriate to have both.

ANDREA Ick!

She fixes her lipstick and rights a stray hair, then smiles a satisfied smile.

ANDREA All better!

FLOOR MANAGER (O.S.) Going live in 30.

Andrea quickly slips the mirror under the desk. Her brow furrows as she studies her script.

FLOOR MANAGER In 5-4-3-

The floor manager points to Andrea. She plasters the smile back on her face and looks directly into the camera.

ANDREAGood evening and welcome to WBEN’s 5 News at Noon. Breaking at this hour, the late David Miller’s painting entitled “Love Unrequited” was stolen from the Johnston City Art Museum.

Andrea turns to the monitor behind her on the set.

ANDREA With me now is the museum’s curator, Seth Meyers. Seth, thank you for joining me.

**Description of Seth Meyers. And are you using the name because of the comedian??

Andrea punches a few buttons on her phone and puts it up to her ear.

INT. – KITCHEN – NIGHT

JOSH RICHARDSON, (30s), Andrea’s husband’s phone buzzes. He picks it up and continues to stir something in a skillet.

**Description of Josh (why would an actor want the role?) etc…

JOSH I hope you’re calling to tell me you’re on your way home.

INT. – NEWSROOM – MAKEUP ROOM – NIGHT

Andrea shoos the MAKEUP LADY away.

ANDREA What are you wearing?

INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION

JOSH Two unhappy children.

ANDREA I have to cover this story. It could be my big break.

JOSH I’ll miss you too.

ANDREA But you’ll love all the money I’ll be making when I get hired by the network.

Josh sighs and hangs his head.

ANDREA Besides, you’ll be up when I get home, right? For some quality time?

A smile spreads across Josh’s face.

JOSH Ugh! What am I going to do with you?

**Maybe add a bit more description or direction on the tone of this scene… I read it a couple times before I got it. Maybe something about their playful banter? Using a word like teasingly.

INT. – KITCHEN – NIGHT

Chloe and Benjamin sit at the kitchen table. Chloe writes furiously, looking back and forth between her paper and her textbook. Benjamin reads. Josh is engrossed by something on his phone.

**Description of kids. Since this is the first time we are seeing them. The description also informs the relationship with the parents

Chloe abruptly stops what she’s doing and looks up at her dad.

CHLOE Dad?

JOSH(without looking up)Yeah?

CHLOE When’s mom coming home?

JOSH She’s not.

Josh finally looks up.

JOSH She was discovered today.

CHLOE Discovered?

JOSH Yeah, by a Hollywood director.

BENJAMIN Really?

CHLOE Is mom going to be in a movie?

JOSH I’m sure she will eventually. She’s very attractive and the camera loves her.

BENJAMIN But what about us? You said she was just working late.

JOSH You’ve got me.

CHLOE No offense dad, but you can’t even do 7th grade math.

JOSH Neither can your mom.

CHLOE Dad! Are we ever going to see her again?

BENJAMIN Yeah! I can’t believe she would just leave us like that!

**Description
of kids and more directions on emotions and actions would help me understand
how this scene reads. Can’t tell if it
is sarcastic or a little too on the nose.

[Michelle Damis]

EMPTY NEST is the story of a bored, depressed, existential, homeless vampire (Osgood)that ends up living with empty-nester, wannabe parents (Jim and Marin) that take in a tenant so that they can be free of their soul-sucking daughter(Nina). They have essentially traded a soulsucker for a bloodsucker.

Osgood discovers there are things that he really hasn’t experienced in his 600 plus years of existence.

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY- MODERN DAY – NIGHT

An UNKNOWN MALE FIGURE sits in an expensive leather chair next to a roaring fireplace. A well-aged book wide open on his lap, the classic fairytale words, “Once Upon a Time” visible. SIBLINGS, 16yrs old, one female, one male, sit with uncertainty on the couch opposite.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

Let us begin. The year was…

EXT. CONCERT VENUE 1987 – NIGHT

DURAN DURAN on stage performing, “Hungry like the Wolf”. The crowd going crazy, a sea of 80’s fashion, and new-wave hair.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

1987?… That’s not right. Let me think… Hmm…Oh Yes!

Closeup “Twilight Zone” style clock face speeding forward.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

2022… I began that year as unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire and unbeknownst to me I was soon to be homeless.

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER

The siblings exchange a glance, half curious, half disbelief.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Yes. A vampire. Completely bored with my own existence. Over 600 years of mundane, unexciting, eternal disappointment. The worst curse imaginable.

The flames of the fire transform into a pile of burning garbage, continuing into a montage of the destruction of the planet and its resources.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Add to that, endlessly watching mortals waste. They waste everything; the planet, their resources, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake. They never learn.

Montage shifts to: Money, banking, stock market, violence.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

And greed… Stupid pieces of paper they make the center of their universe. They even murder for it…the emptiest of all reasons to kill in my opinion.

Black and white clips from old vampire movies, villagers with pitchforks, etc… Blends into montage of humans committing various atrocities over time.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Ironically, humans call vampires evil. Well, the ones that believe in us anyway. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? But, I digress(deep sigh)…back to boredom.

Clip of a “bored” stereotypical “Dracula” vampire.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

“Bored to death”?… I wished! Did you know that vampires cannot kill themselves? It’s literally impossible… Trust me. I tried. And tried. And tried.

Montage of various stereotypical vampires trying to kill themselves: falling, drowning, poison, hit by train, etc…

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Even that got boring…

INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT

A MALE FIGURE stands, face concealed, gazing out a window.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

At the time I was living in an abandoned building, it was an architectural gem and it was free. I preferred not to use currency when I could avoid it… One of my few principles.

Over the centuries I’d gone from pauper to millionaire and back several times, it was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did… It was like taking candy from a baby… which I’d also done a time or two.

This is the first time we see OSGOOD THE VAMPIRE, mid to late twenties, handsome, but not perfect. His face full of character and charm, with piercing eyes that hold centuries of stories. He is bent over a pram and a crying baby.

OSGOOD

(to camera) Did you expect a monster? Oh…and I can’t turn into a bat and I DON’T sparkle…

Flashback of Osgood at a desk piled with books. Close-ups on books: Medical, Law, Architecture, Engineering, etc…

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I also read a lot. I could’ve passed any number of exams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an electrician. Again, time was on my side, but I hated it.

Flashback to a group of children playing in slow-motion. Time lapse footage baby to death-bed

OSGOOD (V.O.)

When humans are young time seems to go painfully slow. As they age, time continuously accelerates until their final moments are but a blur.

A flashback of Osgood with a dying patient in a hospital bed.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Mortals have one thing in common, it’s that no one gets out alive. Whether by my hand or not, their time is finite and I envied that.

A coffin lowering into the ground.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

You know Vampires don’t sleep in coffins to avoid the sunlight, right? It’s really a symbol of what they can never have.

INT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BLDG – NIGHT

Osgood turns away from the window he was standing in earlier. Dead serious with his infinitely wise eyes.

OSGOOD

(directly into camera)

The grass IS always greener.

He crosses the room to a mirror, smoothing his hair.

OSGOOD

(in mirror)Yes… I can see my reflection.(turning to camera) More rumors.

Osgood selects a jacket off the rack and puts on his shoes.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Think about it… Never seeing yourself change, is far worse than never seeing yourself at all.

INT. STAIRWELL ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood glides down the dimly lit stairs.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Of course, I spent my days out of the sun. Unfortunately…the daylight thing is an issue…

EXT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BDLG – NIGHT

Exiting the building into the cool night air. Osgood loves the smell of honeysuckle, he doesn’t know why exactly.

A flyer posted on the nearby fence catches his eye. “NOTICE” in BIG, RED LETTERS. He reads it quickly and shoves it in his pocket before heading down the street alone.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nights I often met up with other vampires. We’d frequent places typically open late.

EXT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT

Osgood is walking past a laundromat. Through the window a LONE PERSON is seen digging thru a dryer suspiciously.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

All night laundromats were surprisingly interesting places. You wouldn’t believe how many people steal underwear. There are a few less thanks to me.

Clip of lone person with panties and a terrified face. Blood spatters on dryer door glass. From inside the machine we see Osgood wipe the blood spatter with a rag.

OSGOOD

(thru the glass)Such an easy place to clean up too.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Osgood walks along a wall of graffiti belonging to a nightclub. The music THUMPS from within like a heartbeat.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nightclubs were natural hangouts of course… Alcohol has no effect on us, no taste either. We CAN eat anything, but nothing has flavor or sustains, but blood.

A line of people wait to get into the club. A BOUNCER waves him to the front of the line letting him pass. Osgood slips him a hundred dollar bill. (Freeze-frame on bill).

OSGOOD (V.O.)

My hatred of standing in line trumps my money principle.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – CONTINUOUS

Osgood walks down a long ramp into the bar. MUSIC BLARING.

OSGOOD

(to camera) Human blood has the most flavor…animal blood varies.

Stopping at a viewpoint over a sea of mortals writhing on the dance floor like a pit of snakes.

OSGOOD

Some humans are animals.

He overlooks the crowd with a forlorn, faraway gaze.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I started a game with myself long ago to pick the most despicable humans I could. Naively, I thought I could somehow do good.

Shrugging with disappointment.

OSGOOD

(to camera)I never made much progress.

INT. NIGHTCLUB BAR – CONTINUOUS

Osgood’s gaze transitions to his POV. A guy at the bar(MR. DRINK SPIKER, a little to old for the crowd, ex-athlete, white-privilege all but stamped on his forehead) sneaks something into a BEAUTIFUL, OBLIVIOUS WOMAN’S drink.

Across the bar a pair of fury-filled, green eyes belonging to NINA BREWSTER (23, Medusa like curls, Athena’s beauty, and all of Pandora’s curses locked up in her attitude) observes the “sly” attack.

Without losing visuals on her target, Nina slams a shot of Vodka flavored courage, and beelines for the assailant who has no idea the wrath heading his way. Nina darts around the bar, whisks the spiked drink away from its prey and confronts the predator. She taps him on the shoulder.

NINA

Excuse me.

He turns, towering over her petite frame. She steps in closer, hand raised, drink perched in her tiny palm, smiling.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

Well Hello.

He oozes. She sparkles.

NINA

You forgot your drink at the bar, and you look REALLY thirsty.

His creeping eyes now static. She raises the drink closer to his face. Taunting.

NINA

What? It looks delicious… Come on, drink up!

His face flushes like a douchebags red Corvette(that probably is sitting in the parking lot). Nervously, he looks around, his eyes momentarily connect with Osgood’s, who has a decent seat for the show. He turns to leave, Nina grabs his arm, he comes out swinging, Nina ducks.

The commotion catches the BARTENDERS attention, he and a BOUNCER are on the spot in seconds, but not before Nina throws the drink in Mr. Drink Spikers face. He lunges at her. The bouncer is bigger and quicker, the douchebag is in a headlock before he knows what’s happened.

BARTENDER

What’s going on here?

NINA

He put something in that woman’s drink.

Motioning to the still oblivious beauty at the bar.

NINA

I thought he might like a sip.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

That’s BULLSHIT!

He screams from the headlock that just got a bit tighter.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

I don’t know what she’s talking about.

He barely squeaks out. His red flush quickly turning blue.

BARTENDER

We’ll take it from here. In the future, let us handle it, OK?

NINA

Suuuure.

BARTENDER

(leaning close) And hey, drinks are on the house for you tonight. Good work.

He discreetly extends his hand for a fist-bump, only to receive a thankless eye-roll.

Nina’s cell phone VIBRATES. Text reads, “WE’RE HERE!” Looking up, she spots THREE FRIENDS about her age. They look like they all just walked out of Forever 21. She heads their way.

Osgood follows Nina with his eyes, not breaking his stare even when a SEXY WAITRESS interrupts him.

SEXY WAITRESS

Can I get you a drink?

OSGOOD

I’ll be having a drink later.

The sexy waitress moves on…her ego almost bruised.

Osgood stands fixated until ELLIS (30’s, strong, black vampire) and YEE-LING (early 40’s, Chinese vampire. Her elegant, shiny hair falling to her waist) both appear out of nowhere on either side of him as he watches Nina.

“Freeze” on Ellis(text across screen)“Vampire-401 Years”.

“Freeze” on Yee-Ling(text across screen)“Vampire-192 Years”.

Ellis leans closer registering Osgood’s view of Nina.

ELLIS

For later?

OSGOOD

I don’t think so…

Yee-ling glances at her phone.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Yes, vampires text. Why wouldn’t we? Who do you think invented the blue light filter?

Flashback of a stereotypical vampire looking at an old cell phone with a bright screen going up in a puff of smoke.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Serious lifesaver…

YEE-LING

Pasha is waiting for us, come on…

INT. NIGHTCLUB/VIP COUCH AREA – MOMENTS LATER

PASHA (the fittest 85-year-old Russian on the planet. The baby of the group, bottom of the pecking order) Pasha enthusiastically waves Yee-Ling and the others over to private, plush, white VIP couches.

“Freeze” on Pasha (text across screen) “Vampire – 2 Years”

Osgood positions himself where he can still see Nina across the dance floor. A waitress drops off bottle service.

ELLIS

Ozy…What’s new with you?

Osgood really hates that word, ”new”. His glare quickly changes as he remembers something. He reaches into his pocket and throws the folded piece of paper at Ellis. Yee-ling, panther-like, snatches it out of the air.

ELLIS

What is it?

Yee-ling scans it quickly.

YEE-LING

Ozy has to move… Again.

She tosses the paper to Ellis. CLOSE-UP ON FLYER. Osgood’s building is being torn-down to build fancy new condos.

ELLIS

Why don’t you just give in and buy one of these new condos? It’ll be years before the gentrification catches up.

YEE-LING

(mocking)Because he looooves his “architecture”…

PASHA

Yeah, Ellis told me you have plenty of money…

Pasha realizes he should just shut up. A phone RINGS. Yee-ling answers.

YEE-LING

(speaking perfect Swedish)

Osgood looks at Ellis confused.

ELLIS

Babbel… She’s addicted…

They listen to her in awe. Yee-ling hangs up.

YEE-LING

That was Magnus, he wants us to meet him at the bowling alley.

Pasha excitedly hops up, his young Vampire status keeps his enthusiastic. (Give him a few years.)

ELLIS

Let’s go then…

Before following the others out Osgood scans the room, getting a last glance of Nina on the dance floor.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Osgood and the others exit, the cops are next to a squad car wrapping up with Mr. Drink Spiker.

Ellis, Yee-Ling and Pasha immediately head down the street. Osgood doesn’t move.

PASHA

(yelling) Ozy…?

In the background Mr. Drink Spiker sulks away, citation in hand.

OSGOOD

I’m just not up for Magnus tonight. You guys go.

YEE-LING

(in Russian)Suit Yourself.

ELLIS

(to Pasha) What did she say? Nevermind, I can’t keep up…

Osgood watches them walk away, then heads in the opposite direction. He quickly catches up with Mr. Drink Spiker who is fumbling with his keys.(which of course ARE to a “douche-bag-mobile” sportscar). The two make eye contact. It’s true that the eyes can say it all.

An incoherent blur of fast movement, blood spatters on car window.

INT. NIGHTCLUB/DANCE FLOOR – NIGHT

Nina dances the night away, her whole life ahead of her. Music pumping, flashing red lights transition into.

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE MAIN BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING

Flashing red of alarm clock – 4:50am. A manicured hand silences the alarm.

MARIN BREWSTER, (mid 50’s, healthy and vibrant looking, even at the crack of dawn) slides quietly out of the bed. She tries not to disturb her husband of 30 years.

JIM BREWSTER (mid 50’s. George Bailey, Ted Lasso and Rudy (NOT Giuliani BTW) rolled into one. Seriously the best person anyone knows). He even looks happy when he sleeps.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis – Great First Page

What I learned, was to get rid of some unnecessary words or “CUT-TO” directions in order to have more pertinent info on Page 1.

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY- MODERN DAY – NIGHT

An UNKNOWN MALE FIGURE sits in an expensive leather chair next to a roaring fireplace. A well-aged book is wide open on his lap, the words, “Once Upon a Time” visible. SIBLINGS, 18yrs old, one female, one male, sit with uncertainty on the couch opposite.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

It’s time. Let’s begin. The year was…

EXT. CONCERT VENUE 1987 – NIGHT

DURAN DURAN on stage performing, “Hungry like the Wolf”. The crowd going crazy, a sea of 80’s fashion, and new-wave hair.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

1987? That’s not right. Let me think. Umm…2022. That’s it.

“Twilight Zone” style clock face speeding forward.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

2022, and I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire.

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER

The siblings exchange a glance, half curious, half disbelief.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Yes. A vampire. Completely bored with my own existence. Over 600 years of mundane, unexciting, eternal disappointment. The worst curse imaginable.

The flames transform into a pile of burning garbage, continuing into a montage of the destruction of the planet and its resources.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Add to that endlessly watching mortals waste. They waste everything; the planet, their resources, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake. They never learn.

Montage shifts to: Money, banking, stock market, violence.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Rough Draft first 10

What I learned doing this assignment is that a writer’s mood can wildly shift from “I suck” to “I’m brilliant” and back again in mere seconds.

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – NIGHT

An UNKNOWN MALE FIGURE sits in an expensive leather chair next to a fireplace. A well-aged book is wide open on his lap, the words, “Once Upon a Time” visible. SIBLINGS, 18yrs old, one female, one male, sit with uncertainty on the couch opposite.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

It’s time. Let’s begin. The year was…

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CONCERT VENUE 1987 – NIGHT

DURAN DURAN on stage performing, “Hungry like the Wolf”. The crowd going crazy, a sea of 80’s fashion, and 80’s hair.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

1987? That’s not right.(sigh) Let me think(beat)umm…2022! Yes!

Clock face speeding forward, “Twilight Zone” style.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

2022, and I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER

The siblings looking at one another in disbelief.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Yes. A vampire. Completely bored with my own existence. Over 600 years of mundane, un-exciting, eternal disappointment. The worst curse imaginable.

The fire in the fireplace transforms into a pile of burning garbage, continuing into a montage of the destruction of the planet and its resources.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Add to that endlessly watching mortals waste. They waste everything; the planet, their resources, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake. They never learn.

Montage shifts to: Money, banking, stock market, violence.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

And greed.(scoffs) Stupid pieces of paper or metal that they make the center of their universe. They even murder for it. The emptiest of all reasons to kill in my opinion.

Black and white clips from old vampire movies, villagers with pitchforks.

Montage of humans committing various atrocities over time.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Ironically, humans call vampires evil. Well, the ones that believe in us anyway. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? But, I digress(deep breath) back to boredom.

Clip of a “bored” stereotypical “Dracula” vampire.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

“Bored to death”? Yeah, I wished! (beat) Did you know that vampires cannot kill themselves? It’s literally impossible. Trust me, I tried. And tried. And tried.

Montage of various stereotypical vampires trying to kill themselves: falling, drowning, poison, hit by train, etc…

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Even that got boring.

INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT

A MALE FIGURE stands, face concealed, gazing out a window.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

2022 started like every year before it. At the time I was living in an abandoned building. It was an architectural gem and it was free. I preferred not to use currency when I could avoid it.(beat) One of my principles. Over the centuries I’d gone from pauper to millionaire. It was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did. It was like taking candy from a baby, which I’d also done a time or two.

This is the first time we see OSGOOD THE VAMPIRE, mid to late twenties, handsome, but not perfect. His face full of character and charm, with piercing eyes that hold centuries of stories, bends over a pram and a crying baby.

OSGOOD

(to camera) Did you expect a monster? Oh, and I can’t turn into a bat, and I DON’T sparkle.

Flashback of Osgood at a desk piled with books. Close-ups on books: Medical, Law, Architecture, Engineering, etc…

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I read a lot. I could’ve passed any number of exams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an electrician. Again, time was on my side, and I hated it. Time, that is.

Flashback to a group of children playing in slow-motion. Time lapse footage baby to death-bed

OSGOOD (V.O.)

When humans are young time seems to go painfully slow. As they age, time continuously accelerates until their final moments are but a blur.

A flashback of Osgood with a dying patient in a hospital bed.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

The thing all humans have in common is that no one gets out alive, whether by my hand or not. A mortals time is finite.

A coffin lowering into the ground.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

You know Vampires don’t sleep in coffins to avoid the sunlight, right? It’s really a symbol of what they can never have.

INT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BLDG – NIGHT

Osgood turns away from the window he was standing in earlier. Dead serious with his infinitely wise eyes.

OSGOOD

(directly into camera)

The grass IS always greener.

He crosses the room to a mirror, smoothing his hair.

OSGOOD

(in mirror) Yes, I can see my reflection.(turning) More rumors.

Osgood selects a jacket off the rack and puts on his shoes.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Think about it. Never seeing yourself change, is far worse than never seeing yourself at all.

INT. STAIRWELL ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood glides down the dimly lit stairs.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Of course, I spent my days out of the sun. Unfortunately, the daylight thing is an issue.

EXT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BDLG – NIGHT

Exiting the building into the cool night air, Osgood camouflages the entry with trash.

A flyer posted on the nearby fence catches his eye. “NOTICE” in big, red letters. He reads it quickly, and shoves it in his pocket before heading down the street alone.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nights I often met up with other vampires. We’d meet up at places typically open late.

EXT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT

Osgood is walking past a laundromat. Through the window a lone person is seen digging thru a dryer suspiciously.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

All night laundromats were surprisingly interesting places. You wouldn’t believe how many people steal underwear. There are a few less thanks to me.

Clip of guy with panties and a terrified face. Blood spatters on dryer door glass. From inside the machine we see Osgood wipe the blood spatter

OSGOOD

Such an easy place to clean up too.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Osgood walks along a wall of graffiti belonging to a nightclub. The music THUMPS from within like a heartbeat.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nightclubs of course. Alcohol has no effect on us, no taste either. We CAN eat anything, but nothing has flavor or sustains, but blood.

A line of people wait to get into the club. A BOUNCER waves him to the front of the line letting him pass. Osgood slips him a hundred dollar bill.

OSGOOD

My hatred of standing in line trumps my money principle.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – CONTINUOUS

Osgood walks down a long ramp into the bar. MUSIC BLARING.

OSGOOD

(to camera) Human blood has the most flavor, animal blood varies.

Stopping at a viewpoint over a sea of mortals writhing on the dance floor like a pit of snakes.

OSGOOD

Some humans are animals.

He overlooks the crowd with a forlorn, faraway gaze.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I started a game with myself long ago to pick the most despicable humans I could. Naively I thought I could somehow do good.

Shrugging with an air of disappointment.

OSGOOD

(to camera)I never made much progress.

INT. NIGHTCLUB BAR – CONTINUOUS

Osgood’s gaze transitions to his POV. A guy at the bar(MR. DRINK SPIKER, a little to old for the crowd, ex-athlete, white-privilege all but stamped on his forehead) sneaks something into a BEAUTIFUL, OBLIVIOUS WOMAN’S drink.

Across the bar a pair of fury-filled, green eyes belonging to NINA BREWSTER (23, Medusa like curls, Athena’s beauty, and all of Pandora’s curses locked up in her attitude) observes the “sly” attack.

Without losing visuals on her target, Nina slams a shot of Vodka flavored courage, and beelines for the assailant who has no idea the wrath heading his way. Nina darts around the bar, whisks the spiked drink away from its prey and confronts the predator. Tapping him on the shoulder.

NINA

Excuse me.

He turns, towering over her petite frame. She steps in closer, hand raised, drink perched in her tiny palm.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

Well Hello.

He oozes. She sparkles.

NINA

You forgot your drink at the bar, and you look REALLY thirsty.

His creeping eyes now static. She raises the drink closer to his face. Taunting.

NINA

What? It looks delicious. Come on, drink up!

His face flushing like a douchebags red Corvette(that probably is sitting in the parking lot). Nervously he looks around, his eyes momentarily connect with Osgood’s, who has a decent seat for the show. He turns to leave, Nina grabs his arm, he comes out swinging, Nina ducks.

The commotion catches the BARTENDERS attention, he and a BOUNCER are on the spot in seconds, but not before Nina throws the drink in Mr. Drink Spikers face. He lunges at her. The bouncer is bigger and quicker, the douchebag is in a headlock before he even knows what’s happened.

BARTENDER

(to Nina)What’s going on here?

NINA

He put something in that woman’s drink.

Motioning to the still oblivious beauty at the bar.

NINA

I thought he might like a sip.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

That’s BULLSHIT!

He screams from the headlock that just got a bit tighter.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

I don’t know what she’s talking about.

He barely squeaks out. His red flush quickly turning blue.

BARTENDER

We’ll take it from here. I’ll check the footage and call the police. In the future, let us handle it, OK?

NINA

Suuuure.

BARTENDER

(leaning close) And hey, drinks are on the house for you tonight.

Discreetly extending his arm for a fist-bump.

BARTENDER

Good work.

The fist receives a thankless eye-roll.

Nina’s cell phone interrupts, VIBRATING loudly. Incoming text reads “WE’RE HERE!” Looking around she spots her friends, (3 or 4 girls about her age that all look like they work and shop at Forever 21 and/or Sephora) she heads towards them.

Osgood rarely surprised by mortals watches her walk away. A waitress interrupts him.

WAITRESS

Can I get you a drink?

Without looking at the waitress.

OSGOOD

I’ll be having a drink later.

The waitress moves on.

Osgood stands fixated until ELLIS (30ish, handsome, strong, black vampire) and YEE-LING (early 40’s, Chinese vampire. Her elegant, shiny hair falling to her waist) both seem to appear out of nowhere on either side of him as he watches Nina.

Freeze-frame on Ellis (text across screen) “Vampire – 401 Years”.

Freeze-frame on Yee-Ling (text across screen) “Vampire – 192 Years”.

Ellis leans closer acknowledging Osgood’s line of sight.

ELLIS

For later?

OSGOOD

I don’t think so.

Yee-ling glances at her phone.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Yes, vampires text. Why wouldn’t we? Who do you think invented the blue light filter?

Flashback of a stereotypical vampire looking at an old cell phone with a bright screen going up in a puff of smoke.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Serious lifesaver…

YEE-LING

Pasha is waiting for us, come on.

INT. NIGHTCLUB/VIP COUCH AREA – MOMENTS LATER

PASHA (the fittest 85-year-old Russian on the planet. The baby of the group and bottom of the pecking order) Pasha enthusiastically waves Yee-Ling and the others over to private, plush VIP couches.

Freeze-frame on Pasha (text across screen) “Vampire – 2 Years”

Osgood positions himself where he can see Nina and her friends on the other side of the dance floor. A waitress drops off their bottle service as the others make small talk.

ELLIS

So Ozy… What’s new with you?

Osgood really hates that word.”New” His glare fades as he remembers something. He reaches into his pocket and throws the folded piece of paper at Ellis. Yee-ling, panther-like, snatches it out of the air.

ELLIS

What is it?

Yee-ling scans it quickly.

YEE-LING

Ozy has to move… Again.

She tosses the paper to Ellis. Pasha strains for a peek. Insert of flyer in its entirety. Osgood’s building is being torn-down for Condos.

ELLIS

Why don’t you just give in and buy one of these new condos? It’ll be years before the gentrification catches up.

YEE-LING

(mocking)Because he looooves his “architecture”…

PASHA

Yeah, Ellis told me you have plenty of money…

Pasha realizes he should just shut up. A phone RINGS. Yee-ling answers.

YEE-LING

(speaking perfect Swedish)

Osgood looks at Ellis confused.

ELLIS

Babbel. (beat) She’s addicted.

They listen to her in awe. Yee-ling hangs up.

YEE-LING

That was Magnus, he says we should get over to the bowling alley.

Pasha excitedly hops up, his young Vampire status keeps his enthusiasm still in tact. Give him a few years.

ELLIS

Let’s go then.

Before following the others out Osgood scans the room, getting a last glance of Nina on the dance floor.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

As Osgood and the others exit, he sees the cops wrapping up with Mr. Drink Spiker.

Ellis, Yee-Ling and Pasha immediately head down the street. Osgood doesn’t move.

PASHA

(yelling) Ozy…?

In the background Mr. Drink Spiker sulks away, citation in hand.

OSGOOD

I’m just not up for Magnus tonight. You guys go.

YEE-LING

(in Russian)Suit Yourself.

ELLIS

(to Pasha) What did she say?

Osgood watches them walk away, before heading in the opposite direction. He quickly catches up with Mr. Drink Spiker who is fumbling with his keys.(which of course are to a “douche-bag-mobile” sportscar).

The two make eye contact. It’s true that the eyes can say it all. An incoherent blur of fast movement, blood spatters on car window.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Opening Scene is Irresistible.

What I learned is that it is challenging going into these assignments already having written a huge opening. I’m trying to trim and incorporate the assignments as best I can. I know what I’ve written is pretty big budget and complicated, so I may have to write a cheaper/simpler version as well, or go straight to Disney LOL

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – NIGHT

An UNKNOWN MALE FIGURE sits in an expensive leather chair next to a fireplace. A well-aged book is wide open on his lap, the words, “Once Upon a Time” visible. SIBLINGS, 18yrs old, one female, one male, sit with uncertainty on the couch opposite.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

It’s time. Let’s begin. The year was…

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CONCERT VENUE 1987 – NIGHT

DURAN DURAN on stage performing, “Hungry like the Wolf”. The crowd going crazy, a sea of 80’s fashion, and 80’s hair.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

1987? That’s not right.(sigh) Let me think(beat)umm…2022! Yes!

Clock face speeding forward, “Twilight Zone” style.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

2022, and I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – MOMENTS LATER

The siblings looking at one another in disbelief.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Yes. A vampire. Completely bored with my own existence. Over 600 years of mundane, un-exciting, eternal disappointment. The worst curse imaginable.

The fire in the fireplace transforms into a pile of burning garbage, continuing into a montage of the destruction of the planet and its resources.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Add to that endlessly watching mortals waste. They waste everything; the planet, their resources, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake. They never learn.

Montage shifts to: Money, banking, stock market, violence.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

And greed.(scoffs) Stupid pieces of paper or metal that they make the center of their universe. They even murder for it. The emptiest of all reasons to kill in my opinion.

Black and white clips from old vampire movies, villagers with pitchforks.

Montage of humans committing various atrocities over time.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Ironically, humans call vampires evil. Well, the ones that believe in us anyway. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? But, I digress(deep breath) back to boredom.

Clip of a “bored” stereotypical “Dracula” vampire.

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

“Bored to death”? Yeah, I wished! (beat) Did you know that vampires cannot kill themselves? It’s literally impossible. Trust me, I tried. And tried. And tried.

Montage of various stereotypical vampires trying to kill themselves: falling, drowning, poison, hit by train, etc…

MALE FIGURE (V.O.)

Even that got boring.

INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT

A MALE FIGURE stands, face concealed, gazing out a window.

MALE FIGURE(V.O.)

2022 started like every other year before it. At the time I was living in an abandoned building. It was an architectural gem and it was free. I preferred not to use currency when I could avoid it.(beat) One of my principles. Over the centuries I’d gone from pauper to millionaire. It was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did. It was like taking candy from a baby, which I’d also done a time or two.

This is the first time we see OSGOOD THE VAMPIRE, mid to late twenties, handsome, but not perfect. His face full of character and charm, with piercing eyes that hold centuries of stories, bends over a pram and a crying baby.

OSGOOD

(to camera) Did you expect a monster? Oh, and I can’t turn into a bat, and I DON’T sparkle.

Flashback of Osgood at a desk piled with books. Close-ups on books: Medical, Law, Architecture, Engineering, etc…

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I read a lot. I could’ve passed any number of exams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an electrician. Again, time was on my side, and I hated it. Time, that is.

Flashback to a group of children playing in slow-motion. Time lapse footage baby to death-bed

OSGOOD (V.O.)

When humans are young time seems to go painfully slow. As they age, time continuously accelerates until their final moments are but a blur.

A flashback of Osgood with a dying patient in a hospital bed.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

The thing all humans have in common is that no one gets out alive, whether by my hand or not. A mortals time is finite.

A coffin lowering into the ground.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

You know Vampires don’t sleep in coffins to avoid the sunlight, right? It’s really a symbol of what they can never have.

INT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BLDG – NIGHT

Osgood turns away from the window he was standing in earlier. Dead serious with his infinitely wise eyes.

OSGOOD

(directly into camera)

The grass IS always greener.

He crosses the room to a mirror, smoothing his hair.

OSGOOD

(in mirror) Yes, I can see my reflection.(turning) More rumors.

Osgood selects a jacket off the rack and puts on his shoes.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Think about it. Never seeing yourself change, is far worse than never seeing yourself at all.

INT. STAIRWELL ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood glides down the dimly lit stairs.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Of course, I spent my days out of the sun. Unfortunately, the daylight thing is an issue.

EXT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BDLG – NIGHT

Osgood exits the building, into the cool night air. He camouflages the entry with trash.

A flyer posted on the nearby fence catches his eye. “NOTICE” in big, red letters. He reads it quickly, tears it down, and shoves it in his pocket before heading down the street alone.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nights I often met up with other vampires. We’d meet up at places typically open late.

EXT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT

Osgood is walking past a laundromat. Through the window a lone person is seen digging thru a dryer suspiciously.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

All night laundromats are surprisingly interesting places. You wouldn’t believe how many people steal underwear. At least there are a few less thanks to me.

Clip of guy with panties and a terrified face. Blood spatters on dryer door glass. From inside the machine we see Osgood wipe the blood spatter

OSGOOD

Such an easy place to clean up too.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Osgood walks along a wall of graffiti belonging to a nightclub. The music THUMPS from within like a heartbeat.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nightclubs and drinks were typical. Alcohol has no effect on us, no taste either, nothing does, but blood. We actually can eat anything, but nothing has flavor or sustains, but blood.

A line of people wait to get into the club. A BOUNCER waves him to the front of the line letting him pass. He slips him a hundred dollar bill.

OSGOOD

My hatred of standing in line trumps my money principle.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – CONTINUOUS

Osgood walks down a long ramp into the bar. MUSIC BLARING.

OSGOOD

(to camera) Human blood tastes best, animal blood varies.

He stops at a viewpoint. Dozens of mortals writhe on the dance floor like a pit of snakes.

OSGOOD

Some humans are animals.

He overlooks the crowd with a forlorn, faraway gaze.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I started a game with myself long ago to pick the most despicable humans I could. I guess I naively thought I could somehow do good.

Osgood directly into camera, shrugging with an air of disappointment.

OSGOOD

I never made much progress.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Michelle Damis Openings

What I learned from this assignment is that the opening that I already wrote is a mix of #5) V.O unusual. It is the Vampire explaining his existence and felling about the world. It is a #6)unique character in a #8)unique world. And there is a bit of a#10) trick or twist, in that the viewer should think a story is being told and at the end it is revealed that it was the vampire telling the story and revealing himself.

I did think through all the Types of Opening to see if there was anything else I wanted to do. As I poilish up the opening I am mindful to get something around page three that pops a bit more.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Completed Third Act

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that sometimes it helps to simplify your message to make sure it is one, then fill in the details.

1. SETUP: We meet the Vampire and learn about his existence. He loses his home. We meet the family that has conflict with their daughter. They decide to take in a renter and use the money to pay her to live elsewhere. The vampire is their new tenant. Everybody is happy, relationships develop and the vampire has a family for the first time, experiences all sorts of new things. Tension between vampire and daughter. She finds out about vampires, other vampires find out about the family, Osgood the Vampire decides he must leave to keep them safe.

2. PLOT POINT 2 – Osgood decides to leave to keep them safe but the vampire council decides to take them anyway because they found out there is something rare about their blood

3. CRISIS – Marin and Nina are kidnapped by Vampires, Jim and Osgood have to go save them.

4. CLIMAX – Everyone is in danger, Nina tells Marin why she has hated her(resolves their conflict) Osgood and Jim find out Jims blood is deadly to vampires. The nun from an earlier scene shows up(she was actually a vampire and discovered the blood too) has come to save them and reveal her plan for vampire future (revolution) Big fight, vampires are split into sides-given a choice, Nuns show up with blood weapons.

5. RESOLUTION – Family and Osgood escape only to be trapped by the sunrise, (all is lost again) Family saves him.

6. FINAL PAGE – Osgood explaining to the kids

7. FINAL LINE/IMAGE – Osgood found purpose and chooses to live.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Final Page

What I learned doing this assignment is that last pages can be a combo too. Or can be spot on. This assignment shows you the choices and how to make sure you nail it.

A. The Setup / Payoff final page. Most of my set-ups and payoffs occur before the final page. With the exception of Osgood having a vial of Jims blood to “die” when he is truly ready.

B. The Contrast final page.: I could do this one by starting the page with Osgood dead. The Goodbye at the Sun then go to current time with the explanation. This is what I’ve been leaning towards but I don’t know that it will actually fit on “one” page.

I could also start the page with Osgood alive in current time but finally moving on with the gift of Jim’s blood.

C. The Climax/Resolution final page. This can mostly happen with the Contrast ending as well. At the beginning he explains that he is “done: with existence but now he has the ability to be done but now has purpose.

D. The “Something good is going to come out of this mess” final page. This is basically part of the story too….out of the tragedy of vampires a way to save the planet and humanity is found. What was once thought of as evil is the savior.

E. The “One last gesture” final page. This one is covered by my plan already in the sense that Jim passed on a last gesture to Osgood in his blood.

F. The Shock final page: I could do something funny like insinuate that Elon Musk is a vampire.(or an Elon Musk type figure)Tie it to something really going on.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Rules!

RULE 5. Don’t go On-The-Nose.

-Check the current version of your 3rd Act and tell us where you highlighted any on-the-nose dialogue or action. ** I have not written all of the ending yet, so I’ll come back to this when I’ve done that and keep it in mind as I write.

RULE 6. The climax of the movie must be set in the quintessential location for the conflict.

Brainstorm possible locations for the best setting for your climax. Show us your list of possibilities and tell us which you’ve picked.

I have two climaxes in my opinion. One in the vampire lair with the Nuns showing up to help. Then the second after Osgood and the family escapes the compound only to be stuck out in the open with the sun coming up. **this part MUST be in a wide-open space where they cannot find cover to get to or to use. They MUST use their own bodies for an entire day to save Osgood.

RULE 7. Must keep us guessing to the very end. Tell us at least three things you’ll do to keep us guessing to the end.

1.) I’ve been planting the “rare blood” issue thru-out, but it is not revealed that it reverses a vampire and lets them die in peace.

2.) The two climaxes of one escape that leads to more danger.

3.) The very end wrap-up will show Osgood’s true “new” purpose and reveal he has a vial of K=Jims blood for when he is ready to die.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Powerful Setups

What I learned doing this assignment is that I did come up with a few new tidbits to weave in. But I’ll admit my comments below are rushed as I’m under a deadline right now.

Try to come up with at least one setup for each of the techniques below.

A. Build their Reputation- We know Osgood has wanted to die anyway, so wouldn’t it be natural for him to sacrifice himself. He is disgusted by humanity because he has never experienced it. Nina is a force to reckon with even for vampires.

B. Justification for the final actions- Osgood really cares about the family, we want him to save them. There have been forces within the vampires working to save humanity and the planet that are revealed that make destroying the council important.

C. Cast doubt on the success of the final actions- when they escape but can’t escape the sun.

D. Discuss the final actions openly – there have been little discussions through out.

E. Twists that take it away – Nins finds out about vampires, Osgood says he will leave, but they will be in danger anyway.

F. Alternate Hope/fear – Girls missing- Location discovered. Girls Escape and Nun shows up, then caught. Big standoff, escape/ caught by sun.

G. Create and pay off emotional setups Nina and Marin relationship. The family sacrificing for Osgood. Osgood having the blood for when he finally wants to die.

H. Suspense around the outcome- I think the audience will expect Osgood to die and sacrifice and be the martyr but they don’t; know how he will die, then they’ll think he’ll live , then die again.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Michelle Damis – Kick Ass Endings

What I learned doing this assignment is that this exercise can give you entire new options or clarify where you have been intending. And if you have a mix it gives you a blueprint to try to shift to just one focus or make sure if you are doing a combo that it doesn’t become too convoluted.

1. The Ultimate Confrontation- Huge fight between the Family/Osgood and the Vampires. 4 against many, Either the Nuns join in to fight or Jim’s blood helps win the battle. They conquer and all is well. Osgood becomes part of the family.

2. Return Home, Only it is Different- Osgood saves the family but they go separate ways at the end, he does not become part of the family in any way, he now sees his existence as an opportunity to help humanity.

3. End with a Future – This is where I’m leaning already. He becomes a steward of the planet and humanity and recruits other immortals to join him, as well as having a future as a family member that will guard the family for decades. (instead of a familiar protecting the vampire, the vampire protects the humans)

4. Major Layer Uncovered – There will be a religious layer uncovered in the sense that the church has known about them etc… and has protected the ones that didn’t want to be “evil”, may tie in the existing storyline that Judas was the original Vampire.

5. Good Guy Wins after Much Pain and Risk – there is some pain and risk but the twist is that Osgood being a vampire allows me to have the things that are typically good/normal things be the catalysts that change his heart. He turns “good” because he is finally shown good and experienced good.

6. Great Protagonist Strategy – I’m doing a little of this however it isn’t the Protagonist it is another character “The nun” that reveals an unknown strategy. (the use of Jim and Nina’s rare blood type etc…)

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80- Michelle Damis Three Endings

What I learned doing this assignment is that I really enjoyed going the opposite way in order to see new possibilities. I think this is a really good creative exercise.

1. UP ending

– Beginning of 3rd Act. The family has found out and wants nothing to do with him.

– Twists.

Osgood realizes what he had and wonders if he can find it again? Or if he is too depressed and really wants to give up.

The council plans to kill the family anyway to protect the secret of vampire existence.

Osgood finds out about the plan and at first is angry for them turning him out but then realizes he MUST save them.

-Osgood warns the family, but they don’t believe.

– Crisis. The council shows up and takes them all.

– Climax. Osgood sacrifices himself in front of the family and the family realizes that he really does care for them and they were wrong. They all fight the council.

– Whether the Protagonist got their goal, need, neither, or both. The council is destroyed and the family accepts Osgood.

2. The DOWN ending

– Beginning of 3rd Act. Osgood secret has been revealed and he has been accepted with open arms from the family.

– Twists. The council of vampires is jealous and angry and vows to take the family away so Osgood is alone

Osgood is given an ultimatum to leave them and they will be spared

The council has no plan to spare them, they feel their secret is at risk.

– Crisis. Family kidnapped and in danger.

– Climax.- Osgood leaves to spare them but then finds out they are in danger anyway.

– Whether the Protagonist got their goal, need, neither, or both. –Osgood sacrifices himself and perishes but the family is safe and he experienced a family and love for a short time.

3. The IRONIC ending:

– Beginning of 3rd Act. Nina has found out about Osgood, but her parents don’t believe it. Osgood is planning to leave to protect them.

– Twists. The council plans to kill or turn the family, gives them a choice.

Osgood has to explain that immortality is NOT better then mortality.

The Nun will come back to save and add a entire new element.

Jim rare blood type is a surprising weapon and key.

– Crisis. Everyone is danger. The nuns save them but using Jims blood.

– Climax. They escape but cannot escape the sun. They say their goodbyes, but then the family uses their bodies to shield him the entire day. They sacrifices for his sacrifice.

– Whether the Protagonist got their goal, need, neither, or both. He survives and uses his immortality to protect the family and changes humankind. He has a vile of Jim’s blood to use when he is ready.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80- Michelle Damis 3^rd Act Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have a hard time thinking my creativity fits in the proper boxes, that’s why sometimes it would be helpful to get to ask questions to see if I’m really doing what I think Im doing.

1. What is it that fascinates you about this story? I’m fascinated by things not being as they seem, in finding out the hidden reason and on turning the idea/concept of good and evil on its head. Also the “grass in always greener” concept and how people can change when they experience something new.

2. What is the main conflict of the story? The main conflicts are that Osgood is a Vampire with no meaning to his existence and thinks he has done everything, there is nothing new. The other conflict is the reason why Nina is so awful to her mother.

3. What is the main goal/need of your protagonist? Osgood needs to find something to live/exist for, but he of course doesn’t know he does.

4. What is the character arc of your main characters?

The Vampire: Osgood goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Nina-The Daughter: goes from an angry, mean daughter with a chip on her shoulder to confessing a secret, forgiving her mother and finding peace.

Jim-The Dad: The gentle man that wouldn’t hurt a fly to being willing to kill to save his family and Ted.

Marin-The Mom: Marin goes from being confused and hurt by her daughters treatment of her, to understanding, forgiving and confessing her own deep secret.

5. How do you want this movie to end?

I want this movie to end with Osgood finding purpose but also finding potential closure to his exisence, and Nina and Marin coming to an understanding.

B. Give a short description of how each of these structural steps
will occur in your script.

1. PLOT POINT 2 — Marin and Nina are kidnapped by the Council of Vampires

2. CRISIS — Osgood and Jim must save.

3. CLIMAX — They are all in danger, they realize just how special Jims blood is and the Nun is revealed and her major twist.

4. RESOLUTION — They escape the vampires only to find Osgood in danger of the sun. They say their heart felt goodbyes to him….but…then the family uses their bodies for a full day to keep him covered until it is night again.

5. FINAL PAGE — The audience learns that Osgood has continued on as a steward for the family and the planet, and he has a vile of Jims blood that will allow him to peacefully die when he is finally ready.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis – Great Endings

Due to circumstances beyond my control I was unable to watch something. However, I was able to mentally review the Movie “Arrival” which I’ve seen SOO many times. I took mental time to think about it and a few other movies I know fairly well.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Colorful Dialogue

What I learned doing this assignment. This was the scene I needed to write and while there is only one person speaking I find it kind of colorful in the sense that it is different. Plus, I’m trying not to get behind in assignments. I will of course refer to this lesson and others as I write other scenes.

EXT. MEADOW – NIGHT

Osgood sits on a log in an open meadow, the light of the moon makes for good visibility. There is a small herd of deer nearby, one is grazing quite near.

OSGOOD-(to the deer) Are you a good listener?… Do you have a couple minutes?

Silence.

OSGOOD-Good…(deep breath) Have you ever…

Music fades in with a wide shot of Osgood talking to the deer, lots of hand gestures, the conversation goes on for a while. Osgood is getting a lot off his chest. The deer patiently listens.

OSGOOD-And that’s my dilemma…(sigh)

And owl with big, yellow eyes blinks and HOOTS.

OSGOOD- (to the owl) You know I wasn’t talking to you, right?

The owl looks offended and flies away

OSGOOD-(to the deer) Well, thanks for listening… So is one of these other guys an asshole?

Gesturing towards to the rest of the herd, the deer just stares at him.

OSGOOD-Mmmm…the big one?… Figures.

Osgood sizes up his target, the deer still staring.

OSGOOD-Come on. Don’t look at me like that… At least I’m not contributing to the beef industry. I know how bad they are for the environment, I’ve watched the documentaries.

Osgood starts walking towards the herd, he stops and looks back at his new friend.

OSGOOD-You might want to look the other way pal…

The deer looks away and walks in the opposite direction.

Close-up on the big deer, he does look like an asshole.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Subtext Pointers 2

What I learned doing this assignment. Again not sure this is the best scene I could have used, but I’m trying to keep moving and complete scene I need to move forward. I believe I utilized a few little things.

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE/DINING ROOM – NIGHT

The dining room is as inviting as the rest of the house. Jim and Marin are placing the last of the food on the table as Osgood tentatively enters.

MARIN

Perfect timing! Have a seat.

Marin takes a seat, placing a napkin on her lap. Osgood mirrors her.

MARIN

Did you get all settled? Anything you need?

OSGOOD

No, I’m good. Thank you.

Jim enters with a serving dish.

JIM

I have to apologize, we didn’t even ask you about food allergies or preferences or anything.

MARIN

Lucky for you, we usually have options. Jim and I have very different tastes, Jim went vegan several years ago, but if I don’t have meat every couple of days I will literally chew my arm off.

JIM

We do help balance the universe.

Jim still standing raises both arms in the air.

JIM

(in a booming voice) Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight the fate of the universe sits upon one man’s decision! Meat? Or no meat? What will he choose??

Jim “drum rolls” on the table. Marin just shakes her head at Jim’s silliness.

Osgood unsure of the antics.

Jim uncovers a dish full of veggies with a variety of textures and colors.

JIM

In this corner, we have a delicious, nutritious meal that was prepared with zero animal cruelty!

APPLAUSE, CATCALLS, WHISTLES.

JIM

And in THIS corner we have a plate of sadness and pain.

He uncovers a plate of meat, blood juices pooling.

MARIN

Very funny… Your Honor, he’s leading the witness.

JIM

What’ll it be?

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis – Dialogue Structures

What I learned doing this assignment. I can see how fun this could make some dialogue. But definitely not something you want to overdo. The American President example was great. I can see these techniques spicing up a boring scene or to really make impact in a critical scene like the Amer. Pres. Example.

I attempted a bit of a Circular technique with a little bit of metaphoric. While I get the gist I tried to find a scene that I thought would work.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Jim and Osgood exit the theater under the marquee. Fatherly Jim picks a piece of popcorn off Osgood’s clothing offering it up to him.

OSGOOD

Ick…No thanks.

Jim throws the piece of popcorn up in the air catching it in his mouth.

Osgood is struck by Jim’s carefree nature. They start walking.

JIM

I still can’t believe you had never seen “War of the Worlds”. What did you think?

Before Osgood can answer.

JIM

We should watch the 1953 version this weekend. It’s really good too. The aliens aren’t as believable but the special effects were cutting edge for their time.

Beat.

JIM

What do you think aliens look like? I mean, if you believe in aliens… Do you think aliens exist? Or are we really the only ones in the universe?

OSGOOD

I think it is rather close-minded to think that humans are the only ones. I think many things could exist that people don’t believe in.

Osgood’s senses are alerted. He smells a threat.

JIM

Like what? Werewolves?…(growling) Or Fairies(he says in an Irish accent)

OSGOOD

Something like that…

EXT. PARK – NIGHT

Jim realizes they are walking past a park. The evening lamps are still on lighting up the playground structures: Swings, Monkey bars, Merry-go-round etc…

Jim takes off running into the park, startling Osgood.

JIM

Come on!(yelling back) Last one’s a rotten egg!!!

OSGOOD

(to himself) What the Hell does that mean?

He follows, staying alert. Jim has hopped on a swing, he gestures for Osgood to get on the other one.

Osgood sits down, but has no clue how to make it move.

Jim stops swinging abruptly in disbelief.

JIM

Do you not know how to “swing”?

Osgood looks guilty as charged.

Jim doesn’t ask why, he just starts teaching him. Soon they are both swinging high into the air. Osgood is really smiling.

JIM

Here, watch this!!… I probably shouldn’t be doing this at my age, but here goes!

Jim launches out of the swing, rolling in the grass. Groaning loudly from the impact.

Osgood in contrast effortlessly flies through the air and lands like a feather.

Thankfully Jim’s pride is more bruised than any body parts.

JIM

(to himself)

Yep…I should not have done that. (to Ozy) No need to tell Marin about this..OK?

Osgood helps him up. Jim brushes himself off.

JIM

Here this will be less impact.

CUT TO:

Jim and Osgood are laying on their backs as the merry-go-round slowly spins. They are staring at the stars in silence.

Eventually.

JIM

So what would you do if aliens were going to destroy your family? Your planet?

OSGOOD

I guess I would fight like Ray. I’ve never had a family though, so I don’t really know.

This question has deeply impacted Osgood.

JIM

I would do anything for my family. I would die for them. I would kill for them if I had too.

In all the fun, Osgood has forgotten the threat. Looking around he takes a deep “sniff”. Nothing for now.

Jim looks at his watch.

JIM

We should probably get home.

Jim uses his feet to slow them down, Osgood observes and joins in.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Anticipatory dialogue.

What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m hoping that I’m naturally accomplishing many of these techniques. I’ve gotten several days behind and I have some other deadlines, so I’m trying to keep progressing.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – MOMENTS LATER

Osgood continues on his war path into the club, his body language warning people to stay out of his way.

His sights lock in on a group: Ellis, Yee-Ling, Pasha, and a few more. MAGNUS (40’s, 6’4, Viking-like) TOM ( 40’s, 5’2, Elf-like, often referred to as Tom Thumb for a laugh) And HELENA(her presence is such that no one dares laugh at the contrast of MAGNUS and TOM)

The group sees Osgood approaching, all shift to looks of concern but Magnus and his mini side-kick Tom.

OSGOOD

(to Magnus)I picked up your scent.

MAGNUS

Whomever smelt it dealt it…

This cracks Tom Thumb up.

OSGOOD

Why were you following me?

MAGNUS

Following you? Tom and I were just in the neighborhood. You’re being paranoid Ozy.

TOM

Yeah Ozy, take a chill pill man.

Magnus shoots Tom a “shut-up” kinda look.

OSGOOD

Just in the neighborhood(muttering to himself)…yeah right?

Tom pipes up again like a yappy-lap dog.

TOM

Are you calling Magnus a liar?

Helena intervenes.

HELENA

No one is calling anyone a liar. I’m sure this is a simple misunderstanding.

Helena certainly commands respect.

HELENA

(to Osgood) Now Ozy, what seems to be the problem?

OSGOOD

I picked up Magnus’s scent earlier this evening.

HELENA

And what’s wrong with that? I pick up scents all the time.

Osgood realizes his mistake.

OSGOOD

Never mind, you are right. My apologies.

Nodding to Magnus in a sign of submission.

HELENA

See how easy that was? We are all friends here.(turning to the group) Now, I’d like to hear more about Yee-lings latest language.

Magnus moves in tight to Osgood as if to give him a hug.

MAGNUS

Just so you know. I wasn’t following you, I was following your mortal. I’m so very curious about this new living situation of yours.

As Osgood pulls back preparing to lunge, just as Nina taps him on the shoulder

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Contrast Scene

What I learned doing this assignment. While I’m not sure I nailed the assignment, I did have fun and while I was going through the lesson, I think I found a solution for a pilot that I wrote. So overall , good creative juices flowed.

INT. STORE DAY

Nina struts down the aisle in the hardware store pushing a cart with her list on her phone and earbuds in her ears, the KESHA song “DINOSAUR” playing.

An accomplished shopper outside her norm. Her regular stores don’t have all these gross old men.

Her “list” disappears as the name “Megan” shows on her phone.

NINA

Hey, Can I call you back? I’m in the middle of something.

Talking a little louder than the other customers are used to.

NINA

NO! You are not?

She practically screams as she stops in front of a bunch of wooden garden stakes.

She picks one up, inspecting it as she intently listens to the caller.

HARDWARE CLERK

Can I help you?

NINA

Did you take a pregnancy test?

The clerk taken aback, and confused.

NINA

Not you…

Dummy.

NINA

Hold on Megan (to caller)… How sharp will these get? And on what aisle can I find a tool to do that? (to clerk)

HARDWARE CLERK

Oh, those should be plenty sharp for the ground.

NINA

Who said they are for the ground?

Her face screams “stupid question”.

NINA

Aisle?

Impatiently tapping her foot.

HARDWARE CLERK

Um…Aisle 7?

NINA

(to caller) Take it again.

HARDWARE CLERK

Aisle 7?

NINA

ARGH….Not YOU!

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis World View Scene

What I learned doing this assignment is that I had a very hard time doing this with my characters. I was having a weird moody day which didn’t help. I truly half-assed this, but it’ll keep me from feeling like I’m falling behind.

Character Name: Osgood
World View: Eternity is a curse
Life Metaphor: Darkness cannot stand before the light
Rules and Strategies: I kill those that deserve it most.
Justifications: It’s a game, it give me something to do, maybe I can redeem myself

INT. STUDY/LIBRARY – NIGHT

OSGOOD (V.O.)

And I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire.

The couch occupants perk up and look at one another.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Yes, you heard me. A vampire. And I was 1000% bored with my existence. Mundane, un-exciting, eternal existence. The worst curse imaginable.

The fire in the fireplace transforms into a pile of burning garbage, continuing into a montage of the destruction of the planet’s resources while Osgood continues.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Second to that was endlessly watching humans waste. They waste everything; the planet, their resources, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake, they never learn.

Montage continues: Banking, stock market, money, robberies, violence.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

And greed.(sigh) Stupid slips of paper or pieces of metal that they make the center of their universe.

Black and white clips of vampire movies and villagers with pitchforks.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I found amusement in the fact that humans thought vampires were evil. Well, the ones that believe in us anyway.

Freeze frame on frightened eyes.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Yes, there is more than one.

Clips of humans committing atrocities.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Evil is as evil does.

(amused, to himself) Hey, I got that one right.

OSGOOD

But, I digress.(a deep breath) Back to boredom.

Montage of “boredom” clips.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

“Bored to death”, I wish!… Did you know that a vampire cannot kill themselves?

Montage of the vampire trying to kill himself: falling, drowning, poison, etc…

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Its literally impossible. Trust me. I tried, and tried, and tried.

INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood stands gazing out a window (we still have not seen his face).

OSGOOD (V.O.)

2022. I had been existing for over 600 years. I lived in an abandoned historical building. It was quite a gem and it was free. I preferred not to use currency anymore. It was a little game I played with myself. I played lots of games with myself.

Flashback/Montage of Osgood in past times displaying opulent wealth.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I’d already been a millionaire several times. It was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did. But money no longer interested me, it was like taking candy from a baby, which I had done a time or two.

Close-up of Osgood’s face actually taking candy from a baby.(this Is the first time we see his face)

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I’m not a monster, I can’t turn into a bat, and I DON’T sparkle…

Osgood at a desk piled with books. Close-ups on books of professions listed.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I read a lot. I could pass any number of exams: lawyer, doctor, an electrician. Again, time was on my side. although I loathed it simultaneously.

Flashback to Osgood young (circa.1430)and a group of children playing.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

When we are young time seems to go so slow. For me it will never go anywhere. To be mortal again.

The images of children shift to slow motion.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

To want time to slow, to savor, to beg for delay of the inevitable mortal condition.

A flashback of Osgood with a dying patient. (or victim??)

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I envy that moment when I am with a mortal and they know their time is up.

CUT TO:

INT. ABANDONED HISTORICAL BLDG – NIGHT

Osgood turns away from the window we saw him standing in earlier.

OSGOOD

(directly into camera)

The grass IS always greener.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Character Traits Live!

What I learned doing this assignment How much it helps to keep things simple and just try to do the process one step at a time.

Nina — Daughter

Moody

Wounded

Impatient

Suspicious

Marin — Mother

Articulate

Strategic

Meticulous

Guilty

Jim — Father

Accessible

Loyal

Generous

Nostalgic

The 3 are having a dinner to celebrate Nina’s new job. She did not want her mother to go and planned on her staying at home to hand out candy. But Osgood foiled her plans. She got her mom back by taking her to a nice restaurant-telling her it was fine she had her costume on.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Nina and her costumed parents are seated in a corner table near the back of the restaurant, “shunned” for sure.

Jim is making the best of it and acting like Dracula at every opportunity.

Marin on the other hand cannot make herself any smaller.

Nina still irritated with Osgood takes it out on her mother.

NINA

Hey, Mom. Isn’t that your old

boss?

Nina knows it isn’t, she just enjoys watching her mother squirm.

Marin doesn’t take the bait nor blink an eye.

MARIN

I doubt it, I’m sure he is out with his kids tonight.

NINA

That’s right. He’s like half your age right? How many kids does he have?

Nina is really being cruel. Jim intervenes, changing subjects.

JIM

That was so nice of Ozy to offer to hand out the candy tonight wasn’t it?

MARIN

Yes, very generous of him.

Nina makes a snarly face.

NINA

Generous? (eye roll) More like manipulative.

JIM

(clueless) Manipulative?

NINA

I don’t trust him.

JIM

Honey, you don’t even know him.

NINA

I wasn’t going to say anything. But I ran into him the other night at the bar. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him around.

MARIN

That’s not a crime, I would know.

Trying to be funny-it’s not working.

NINA

(to Marin) Ha – Ha…(to both) You know what he said to me? He tried to tell me that you guys were just trying to get rid of me.

Jim spits water all over the table and starts choking. Marin doesn’t miss a beat and starts tending to Jim, ignoring Nina.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Final Scene for Feedback.

This is a bit longer scene than I have previously posted, but it includes all 4 characters.

This is when they all 4 meet and are in a scene together.

Character Name: Osgood/Ozy the Vampire

Subtext Identity: Bored Vampire looking for a new place to live.

Character Traits: Wise/Honest/Practical/Sarcastic/Idealistic

Subtext Logline: Osgood is a bored,idealistic Vampire, who is disappointed with humanity and the choices they make

.———————-Character Name: Nina Brewster – Daughter

Subtext Identity: Angry Daughter with a secret.
Character Traits: Determined/Stubborn , Moody, Impatient, Wounded, Suspicious
Subtext Logline: Nina is young woman with a painful secret she blames other mother and is generally suspicious of men.

———————-Character Name: Marin Brewster the Mom
Subtext Identity: Mother, newly retired attorney
Character Traits: Articulate, Self-Disciplined, Meticulous, Strategic, Guilty
Subtext Logline: Marin is a successful, retired attorney, wife and mother who is baffled as to why her only daughter despises her, she also is guilty of having a secret.
———————-Character Name: Jim Brewster the Father

Subtext Identity: The Father figure Osgood never
had
Character Traits: Accessible, Loyal, Generous,
Nostalgic
Subtext Logline: Literally the best person
anyone knows, good to the bone. He wanted a big family, like the one he had.

SCENE

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (ONE WEEK LATER)

Montage of various “interviewees”. All un-desirable tenants in some way.

Jim and Marin sit on the couch looking a bit worn out. This is not as easy or as fun as they thought. Marin is going over her notes on a clipboard when the doorbell RINGS.

MARIN

This should be our last one.

Jim covers a yawn as he heads to get the door.

MARIN

His name is… Osgood?

Raising her eyebrows? Jim looks back acknowledging the oddness, then opens the door. Osgood awaits politely.

JIM

You must be Osgood? I’m Jim.

Jim extends his hand. Osgood hesitates, then reciprocates.

OSGOOD

You can call me Ozy.

JIM

My God, your hand is freezing! Please, come in, lets get you warmed up.

OSGOOD

I’m fine, I run a little cold is all.

Jim ushers him into the living room. Osgood takes in the novelty of a warm, welcoming home.

JIM

This is Marin, my wife. Marin this is Ozy.

Marin stands, greeting him. She is charmed.

OSGOOD

It’s a pleasure.

JIM

Have a seat. I’m going to get this fire going and warm you up.

OSGOOD

I’m fine, really, no need.

JIM

It’s no trouble. There is nothing like a warm fire on a cold night.

Marin shuffles through her notes, as Jim gets the fire started. Ozy looks around the room.

OSGOOD

The architecture is amazing. Is it really on the historic registry?

JIM

Yes, Sir. Captain Brewster, had this place built for his fiancé in 1833. It has stayed in the Brewster family almost 200 years.

Spoken with great pride and admiration.

JIM

The upkeep costs are staggering, but I cannot bear to let it go.

OSGOOD

I must confess, it was what drew me to this place. I have a soft spot for history.

JIM

OUCH!

Jim holds his hand up, there is a large sliver of wood stuck in his finger. The tiniest drop of blood is forming at the entrance would. Marin jumps up for a closer look.

MARIN

Honey! What did you do?

Coddling him as only a loviing wife can.

Ozy sees the blood, a worried look quickly turns to confusion as he discreetly sniffs the air. Nothing.

MARIN

Yikes…let me grab you some tweezers.

Marin runs off, Ozy sits perplexed, taking another “wiff”.

JIM

How does something so tiny hurt so much? Huh?

OSGOOD

Do you mind if I take a look at it?

Before Jim can answer, Ozy crosses the room, kneeling down for a closer look and deeper smell. Still nothing. Odd.

Marin returns with tweezers, antiseptic and a Band-aid. Osgood backs off, Marin assumes nurse role.

Attempting to still be a good host.

JIM

So Ozy, do you have family in town?

OSGOOD

I’m afraid I don’t, I was orphaned around 2 years old. I never knew my family.

Marin finishes placing the Band-aid as Osgood’s misfortune tumbles out.

OSGOOD

It just is. I never knew any different. You can’t miss what you never had.

A moment to sink in…

JIM

Are you going to school? Working?

Osgood was not expecting this line of questioning, being that he has never been interviewed like this before. He finds it fresh and exhilarating. He improvises quickly.

OSGOOD

I’m a medical student on night rounds this entire year, so I sleep all day and work or study all night…

Reading their reactions.

OSGOOD

Would you find that too disruptive to your schedule?

MARIN

Your area of practice?

OSGOOD

Hematology.

MARIN

Hmm…Isn’t that a coincidence?

Poking Jim in the thigh. Jim has no clue where she is going.

She has the look all wives give their husbands when they are being stupid.

MARIN

You’re blood?…

Osgood hones in on the word.

JIM

Oh…that.

Jim dismissively. But Osgood leans in attentively.

MARIN

Jim has an extremely rare blood type. He is the focus of quite a bit of research. His doctors are a bunch of modern day vampires. They suck him dry every opportunity they get.

She thinks she is funny, Jim has heard this joke too many times.

JIM

Marin, we’re here to find out more about Ozy. He doesn’t need to be bored with my medical anomaly

The questioning continues as they get more and more comfortable. There is a certain ease and warmth to the conversation. **this might be a nice place to allow some improv.

Interrupting.

MARIN

Would anyone else like some tea?

She gets up.

MARIN

Jim, can you help me with the tea?

JIM

Why do you nee…

Marin draws her eyebrow like an outlaw drawing a Colt 45. Followed by a wifely “we need to talk” smile.

JIM

(to Osgood) Excuse us. We’ll be right back.

Jim follows her into the kitchen.

INT. BREWSTER KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

Marin dances around the kitchen excitedly, grabbing the tea kettle, cups, cookies, etc…

In a hushed voice.

MARIN

Well…? What do you think??

She doesn’t give him time to answer.

MARIN

I think he’s perfect… He’s the one.

Jim has shoved a cookie in his mouth and “can’t” answer, he just nods.

MARIN

A med student. He has to be clean right? You can’t be a slob AND be a Doctor?

Jim mumbles crumbles in supposed agreement, as Marin prepares a tray.

MARIN

Well, he’s our choice then! Let’s tell him… Grab the napkins.

Jim obediently follows, “happy-wifey, happy-lifey” hasn’t failed him yet.

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE LIVING ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Jim and Marin return with tea and goodies. Osgood hasn’t moved.

MARIN

Jim, would you like to tell him?

Jim is caught off guard as he shoves another cookie in his mouth. Perfect timing.

With no warning the front door flies open causing them all to jump. Nina carries several shopping bags. She can see her Mom and Dad, but not their company. She drops the bags to remove her coat. Defending herself.

NINA

Before you criticize me, I’ve been thrift shopping all day. I spent hardly anything.

Jim furiously chewing and washing down his cookie. Preparing for intervention.

MARIN

Nina, we have a guest.

Nina takes a few stomps into the living room, scowl of disapproval already forming. She expects some lame friends of her parents.

Nina and Osgood make eye contact. “Hey, I know you” flashes across both Nina and Osgoods faces.

Marin anticipates this not going to go well.

JIM

Nina, this is …

NINA

Do I know you?

OSGOOD

I don’t think so.

He has already figured out why she looks familiar, but hides it expertly. He stands up extending his hand, she ignores it. He withdraws the offer.

OSGOOD

My name is Ozy.

MARIN

He is a med student…

NINA

So…What is he doing here?

All venom.

Jim the peacemaker takes over.

JIM

Well, this was going to be a big surprise for you. But here goes…

Clearing his throat

JIM

Your Mom and I know how much you want to live in the city, but we can’t afford that right now with just our retirement. So we decided to take in a renter so that we could afford to pay your rent in the city while you look for a job.

MARIN

Yes, we thought…

Marin stops. Nina hates anything that is her idea, she is better off staying silent.

Nina absorbs the news…it doesn’t completely suck, but what’s the catch??

NINA

So, what does he have to do with that?

JIM

Well, before you came in we were just about to offer Ozy here the room.

NINA

Not MY room, right? I don’t want anyone in MY room?

JIM

We still need to figure all that out. That is, if Ozy accepts.

All eyes shift to Ozy.

JIM

You don’t have to answer right now. We don’t want to put you on the spot.

More venom.

NINA

How many people did you interview anyway?

Putting her parents in the hot seat.

MARIN

Nina, don’t be rude.

Eyes a-rolling. She is abruptly “over” the conversation. Nina grabs her packages, but not before giving Osgood one more distrusting look.

NINA

I’m tired, I’m going to go lay down.

They all listen to her stomp up the stairs. Osgood breaks the silence.

OSGOOD

Well…are you two sure you still want to do this?

Jinx…with A hint of desperation.

MARIN

We’re so sorry you had to deal with that. We wouldn’t blame you for saying NO.

JIM

She is just frustrated with having to live with us again and taking it out on everyone.

MARIN

(under her breath)And she ‘hates’ me.

OSGOOD

It’s fine. Being an orphan I find family dynamics rather entertaining.

JIM

Family life is never boring!

Osgood ponders a relief to boredom. Interesting.

OSGOOD

Do you have any other children?

Marin’s face instantly drops. Jim gently grabs her hand.

JIM

No. Nina is it.

Osgood senses it’s a touchy subject.

OSGOOD

What timeline were you thinking for the move?

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis – Multiple Meanings

What I learned doing this assignment…is that I didn’t really accomplish the assignment but I did get another scene processed that has some subtext in it. I just couldn’t find a scene that I felt fit well enough.

Nina is threatening Osgood and warning him.

Osgood is letting Nina know her parents strategy (as he is trying to help her see her failures)

Magnus and the others are toying with Osgood and his “mortals”

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sees Osgood at the nightclub, he is with a few people. Having a somewhat heated conversation, she has had a few drinks so she feels comfortable interrupting.

She taps him on the shoulder, he spins around so fast that she doesn’t see him turn.

OSGOOD

What? (annoyed)

That’s odd? It’s a mortal?

OSGOOD

Oh, Hi…

NINA

Hi…? That was weird…

OSGOOD

What was weird?

NINA

How fast yo… never mind… Are these your friends?

His pals are eyeing her, Osgood is not happy.

OSGOOD

Yes, you could say that, but they were just leaving…Right?

**Need to establish MAGNUS now or earlier

MAGNUS

Oh, we can stick around.

The vampires make themselves comfortable.

NINA

Can we talk?

MAGNUS

(to the others)Seems the menu has changed this evening, and I’d love to try something new.

The others chuckle and snicker. Osgood gently grabs her arm to move her.

OSGOOD

Let’s go to the bar and grab you a drink, it’ll be faster.

Nina doesn’t budge.

NINA

I know my way to the bar.

She looks at his hand on her arm. He lets go and follows her to the bar. They each pull up a bar stool.

NINA

I’m just going to throw this out there…I don’t trust you. And if you do anything to hurt my parents, I’ll kill you.

OSGOOD

Well, that’s intense… Good to know.

Leaning back, crossing his arms.

OSGOOD

Let me assure you, I have no intention of hurting your parents. They seem quite fond of me, in fact they mentioned what a nice change I am.

NINA

What’s that supposed to mean?

OSGOOD

You tell me…

NINA

I don’t need to tell you anything.

OSGOOD

This is unexpected behavior from someone that was treating their parents so poorly that they brought a perfect stranger into their home so that they could pay you to live elsewhere.

NINA

That’s not what happened!!

OSGOOD

It’s not? OK. If you say so…

NINA

You don’t know anything.

The little ball of fury stands up, even her curls make little fists.

NINA

I’m watching you! I know you are up to something!

She storms out.

Osgood watches her stomp away. Returning to his table he realizes Magnus and the others are nowhere to be seen, this could be a problem.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Directional FOS Patterns

What I learned doing this assignment is that I really should have remembered more from high school English(I really do occasionally have nightmares) I’m not sure if this was an ideal scene, but I’m just trying to progress.

INT. BREWSTER HOUSE LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

Jim and Marin sit on the couch looking a bit worn out. This is not as easy or as fun as they thought. Marin is going over her notes on a clipboard when the doorbell RINGS.

MARIN

This should be our last one.

Jim covers a yawn as he heads to get the door.

MARIN

His name is… Osgood?

Raising her eyebrows? Jim looks back acknowledging the oddness, then opens the door. Osgood awaits politely.

JIM

You must be Osgood? I’m Jim.

Jim extends his hand. Osgood hesitates, then reciprocates.

OSGOOD

You can call me Ozy.

JIM

My God, your hand is freezing! Please, come in, lets get you warmed up.

OSGOOD

I’m fine, I run a little cold is all.

Jim ushers him into the living room. Osgood takes in the novelty of a warm, welcoming home.

JIM

This is Marin, my wife. Marin this is Ozy.

Marin stands, greeting him. She is charmed.

OSGOOD

It’s a pleasure.

JIM

Have a seat. I’m going to get this fire going and warm you up.

OSGOOD

I’m fine, really, no need.

JIM

It’s no trouble. There is nothing like a warm fire on a cold night.

Marin shuffles through her notes, as Jim gets the fire started. Ozy looks around the room.

OSGOOD

The architecture is just superb. Is this place really on the historic registry?

JIM

Yes, Sir. Captain Brewster, had this built for his love in 1833. It has stayed in the Brewster family almost 200 years. The upkeep costs are staggering, but I cannot bear to let it go.

OSGOOD

I must confess, it was what drew me to this place. I have a soft spot for history.

JIM

OUCH!

Jim holds his hand up, there is a large sliver of wood stuck in his finger. The tiniest drop of blood is forming at the entrance would. Marin jumps up for a closer look.

Ozy sees the blood, a worried look quickly turns to confusion as he discreetly sniffs the air. Nothing.

MARIN

Yikes…let me grab you some tweezers.

Marin runs off, Ozy sits perplexed.

JIM

How does something so tiny hurt so much? Huh?

OSGOOD

Do you mind if I take a look at it?

Before Jim can answer, Ozy crosses the room, kneeling down for a closer look and smell. Still nothing. Odd.

Marin returns with tweezers, antiseptic and Band-aid. Osgood backs off, Marin assumes nurse role.

JIM

So Ozy, do you have family in town?

OSGOOD

I’m afraid I don’t, I was orphaned at around 2 years old. I never knew my family.

Marin finishes placing the Band-aid as Osgood’s misfortune tumbles out. Both shocked.

OSGOOD

It just is. I never knew any different. You can’t miss what you never had.

A moment to sink in…

JIM

Are you going to school? Working?

Osgood was not expecting this line of questioning. He has never been interviewed, it is quite exhilarating. He improvises quickly.

OSGOOD

I’m a medical student on night rounds this entire year, so I sleep all day and work or study all night. Would you find that too disruptive to your schedule?

MARIN

Your area of practice?

OSGOOD

Hematology.

MARIN

Isn’t that a coincidence?

Jim has no clue where she is going. She has the look all wives give their husbands when they are being stupid.

MARIN

You’re blood?…

JIM

Oh…that.

MARIN

Jim has an extremely rare blood type. He is the focus of quite a bit of research. I’ve often said Hematology would be a great cover if you were a vampire. They suck him dry every opportunity they get.

JIM

Marin, we’re here to find out more about Ozy. He doesn’t need to be bored with my medical history.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Dialogue Cover-Ups

What I learned doing this assignment is that a task like this can be fun and open up creativity. One must not allow themselves to close up because it isn’t perfect, but just throw the noodles at the wall and see what sticks.

– Silence:

Nina just sits there staring at him.

– Action incongruent with words.

Nina: I don’t know what you are talking about? ( as she grabs a fistful of skewers, pretending to straighten them)

– Change subject.

Nina: Oh, Hey Can you take something back to my Dad?

– Attack back.

Nina: Why do you always have to know everything!?

– Complement them.

Nina: You know I’ve been meaning to tell you that my parents really appreciate your company.

-Threaten them

Nina: How dare you come into my apartment under false pretenses!

– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.

Nina: Of course, I know. I know that you know that I know. And?

– Misdirection:

Nina: Of course, I know about Dad’s surprise party!

– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.

Nina: Great, Let’s get drunk then.

– Distraction.

Nina: Do you smell smoke? (looking around wildly) I smell smoke! I have a nose for these things!

– Make a joke of it.

Nina: Next you’ll be asking me who’s on First.

– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.

Nina: BTW the toilet handle is broken make sure you jiggle it a bit.

NINA furiously hides the books and papers in the kitchen drawers. Takes a second look at a scarf on the coat rack and wraps it around her neck. Checking the mirror, she looks ridiculous and adjusts it as best she can. Opening the door she lets him in.

TED-Thanks

His eyes catch everything as he walks in, the garlic, the skewers, the scarf…he is amused.

NINA- You are welcome…But only this ONE time. I mean, you are only welcome this one time…

Her nerves showing.

NINA-You can set the box down over there and the bathroom is down the hall, first door on the right.

Ted sets the box down and heads towards the kitchen island. He leans over and takes a big whiff of garlic. Nina’s brow furrows, that wasn’t what she expected.

NINA- Don’t you have to use the bathroom?

Her voice cracks a little.

TED- I lied. Why don’t you take a seat? Let’s slice to the chase.

Nina can’t help herself.

NINA- It’s CUT to the chase.

Her voice drifts off uncertainly as she sits down on the couch.

Ted- Whatever…I know you know.

Nina- Of course, I know! I know, that you know that I know. Your point?

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis – Symbol

What I learned doing this assignment is how a symbol can be used, however I do not believe that it MUST be used. Yes it can certainly be powerful, but don’t bang your head against the wall making one fit in.

Off the top of my head the only Symbol that really makes sense for me is Blood, which is quite typical of a Vampire story of course, however I think I have a solid twist on this. I had already planned a mid-point use and an end point…not so much thinking of it as a symbol but it does work

1. INTRODUCE THE SYMBOL I will need to go back and see where I can make something organically fit that is interesting and not cliché.

2. SET ITS MEANING POWERFULLY enough so that just its presence will cause an audience response.

The twist here is that Osgood (or the other vampires) isn’t going to be able to smell Jim or Ninas blood…(this has never happened) They both have a very rare blood type…this will be odd and intriguing to Osgood.

3. USE THE SYMBOL TO CAUSE OR SHOW CHANGE in the characters or their situation. This is where a symbol is powerful. This rare blood type will have a life-changing effect on Osgood, it isn’t going to make him mortal, but it will give him reprieve and a chance at a relationship.

**In some ways the family is also a symbol… but I think that’s a bit of a reach.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis subtext Scene

What I learned from this assignment is that I need to start writing more scenes and making progress and not stress about the scene being perfect for the assignment.

1. First, tell us any background we may need to know. This scene is early on and the first time we see Osgood interact with other Vampires. I’m at the point where I’m personally needing to start filling in gaps and connecting things…so that is what this scene is. He is interacting with 3 other Vampires and the “Mr. Drink Spiker” was a bad guy in the scene prior. Not sure this was the best scene for this assignment but I am setting things up for later as well as a little within the scene.

2. Answer the basic subtext questions about the scene.

1. What is the meaning of the subtext? Planting nuggets of information about the Vampires. Setting the stage for why Osgood will pick the “rental” opportunity, insinuate that he kills the Mr. Drink Spiker. (maybe he does?? Maybe he doesn’t)

2. What is the cover-up? As I reveal some of the vampires “live with” it reveals options for future interactions

3. When will the meaning be revealed? Before, during, or after? Some during, some after, some much later

4. How will the meaning be revealed? Variety of ways

3. Pick one or more of the scene designs for subtext.= I think I actually may have incorporated a bit of several

A. Misinterpretation

B. Dramatic Irony

C. Something is off

D. No one wants to tell the person

E. A plot against another person

F. Competitive agendas

4. actual scene.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

ELLIS (30ish looking, 400 yr old, handsome, strong, black vampire ) and YEE-LING (early 40’s looking, 92 yr old, Chinese vampire. Her elegant, shiny hair falling to her waist). Seem to appear on either side of Osgood as he watches Nina join her friends.

ELLIS

For later?

OSGOOD

I don’t think so.

Yee-ling glances at her phone.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Yes, vampires text. Why wouldn’t we? Who do you think invented the blue light filter?… Real lifesaver!

(Flashback)A vampire looking at an old cell phone with a bright screen going up in a puff of smoke.

YEE-LING

Pasha is waiting for us, come on.

INT. NIGHTCLUB/VIP COUCH – MOMENTS LATER

PASHA (the fittest 85-year-old Russian on the planet. 88 Vampire years old, the baby of the group and bottom of the pecking order) enthusiastically waves Yee-Ling and the others over to private, plush VIP couches.

Osgood positions himself where he can see Nina and her friends on the other side of the dance floor.

A waitress drops off their bottle service as the others make small talk.

ELLIS

Ozy…What’s new with you?

“What’s new?” carries the weight of “Fuck you” with this group. Osgood’s glare transitions as he remembers something, he reaches into his pocket and throws the folded piece of paper at Ellis. Yee-ling, panther-like, snatches it out of the air.

ELLIS

What is it?

YEE-LING

Ozy has to move again.

She hands the paper to Ellis. Pasha strains for a peek. We see the flyer in its entirety. Osgood’s building is being torn-down for Condos.

ELLIS

Why don’t you just give in and buy one of these new condos? It’ll be years before the gentrification catches up.

YEE-LING

He loves his “architecture”…

Mocking.

PASHA

Yeah, Ellis told me you have plenty of money…

Pasha realizes he should just shut up. “Money” is another dirty word with this group.

A phone RINGS. Yee-ling picks it up and starts fluently speaking Swedish. Osgood looks at Ellis, huh?

ELLIS

Babbel. She’s addicted.

They listen to her in awe. Yee-ling hangs up.

YEE-LING

That was Magnus. He says the bowling alley is hopping tonight.

Pasha excitedly hops up ready.

ELLIS

Lets go then.

Everyone gets up, Osgood takes a last glance towards Nina finding her on the dance floor with her friends.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

As Osgood and the others exit, he notices the cops are wrapping up with Mr. Drink Spiker. Moments later he sulks away, citation in hand

Ellis, Yee-Ling and Pasha head out. Osgood doesn’t move.

PASHA

Ozy…?

OSGOOD

I’m not up for the bowling alley tonight. You guys go.

YEE-LING

Suit Yourself. (in Russian)

He watches them walk away for a moment before heading in the opposite direction.

He quickly catches up with Mr. Drink Spiker who is fumbling with his keys, which of course are to a douche-bag-mobile.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Subtext Relationship

What I learned doing this assignment is that I understand what you are trying to do. I think it would be easier to do in a purely creative way not attached to a feature we are already knee deep in. But, I also understand we are also trying to do work on what we are trying to complete in this course. I’m curious if you gave options to complete an assignment with things not related to our current script as well as working on the script, if it may give participants freedom to step away, do the assignment from unrelated content then “absorb” and apply that knowledge to the script.

Osgood is a bored, idealistic Vampire, who is disappointed with humanity and the choices they make.

Nina is young woman with a painful secret she blames other mother and is generally suspicious of men.

Marin is a successful, retired attorney, wife and mother who is baffled as to why her only daughter despises her, she also is guilty of having a secret.

Jim is literally the best person anyone knows, good to the bone. He wanted a big family, like the one he had.

Jim and Marin are renting out a room in their home because Nina their daughter is driving them crazy with her treatment of her mother. Osgood needs a place to live and becomes their tenant.

-Osgood has to hide form everyone he is a vampire.

-Osgood has to hide his idealistic, existential tendencies from other vampires.

-Nina is hiding her trauma from everyone.

-Nina is overly suspicious of Osgood now living with her parents.

-Nina confronts Osgood both before and after she knows he is a vampire

-Jim hides he wanted a big family because his wife couldn’t have more kids.

-Jim knows Marin secret but she doesn’t know he knows.

-Nina is hiding she is going to therapy and doing volunteer work at a victims hotline

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Subtext Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is that while the lesson talks mostly about subtext being someone negative or ulterior motives. I found in mine that it can also be good qualities if the narrative is flipped. For example, a Vampire is typically seen as bad or evil. So GOOD qualities can be an interesting juxtaposition.

Character Name: Osgood/Ozy the Vampire
Subtext Identity: Bored Vampire looking for a new place to live.
Character Traits: Wise/Honest/Practical/Sarcastic/Idealistic
Subtext Logline: Osgood is a bored Vampire, who is disappointed with humanity and the choices they make.

Possible areas of subtext:

Multiple things he experiences in his new living situation that are “new” to him.

Newfound feelings that he wasn’t aware of.

The way he treats people that are doing good, show his conscience.

Glimpses of situations that surprise him or give him hope in humanity.

This creature that is supposed ot be evil. But is he really? Who isn’t?

———————-
Character Name: Nina Brewster – Daughter
Subtext Identity: Angry Daughter with a secret.
Character Traits: Determined/Stubborn , Moody, Impatient, Wounded, Suspicious
Subtext Logline: Nina is a young woman with a painful secret she blames on her mother and is generally suspicious of men.

Possible areas of subtext:

How she treats her mother

How she treats other men

Her behavior in general

Therapy context

———————-
Character Name: Marin Brewster the Mom
Subtext Identity: Mother, a newly retired attorney
Character Traits: Articulate, Self-Disciplined, Meticulous, Strategic, Guilty
Subtext Logline: Marin is a successful, retired attorney, wife, and mother who is baffled as to why her only daughter despises her, she also is guilty of having a secret.

Possible areas of subtext:

How she acts and reacts to her daughter.

Things that remind her of her secret/guilt

Her interaction with Osgood.

———————-

Character Name: Jim Brewster the Father
Subtext Identity: The Father figure Osgood never had
Character Traits: Accessible, Loyal, Generous, Nostalgic
Subtext Logline: Literally the best person anyone knows, good to the bone.

Possible areas of subtext:

How he treats people.

How Osgood reacts to him

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Page Turner!

What I learned doing this assignment was that it is really fun to use my new Thesaurus….which just arrive and was great for creativity!

PS…Osgood is a vampire (since you can’t tell that from this one scene) and originally his name was Ted(which I’ve changed.)

INT. NIGHTCLUB BAR – CONTINUOUS

A guy at the bar sneaks something into a beautiful, oblivious woman’s drink.

Across the bar, a pair of fury-filled, green eyes belonging to NINA (23, Medusa-like curls, Athena’s beauty, and all of Pandora’s curses locked up in her attitude) observes the almost-sly attack.

Without losing visuals on her target she slams a shot of Vodka and beelines for the assailant who has no idea the wrath heading his way.

Nina darts around the bar whisks the spiked drink away from its prey and confronts the predator. Tapping him on the shoulder.

NINA

Excuse me.

He turns. Towering over her frame. She steps in closer, drink perched in her petite palm.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

Well Hello.

He oozes.

NINA

You forgot your drink at the bar, and you look REALLY thirsty.

His creeping eyes now static.

She raises the drink closer to his face.

NINA

What? It looks delicious. Come on, drink up!

His face flushing like a douchebag’s red Corvette(that probably is sitting in the parking lot).

He nervously looks around. His eyes momentarily connect with Osgood’s, who has a decent seat for the show.

He turns to leave. Nina grabs his arm. He comes out swinging, Nina ducks.

The commotion catches the bartender’s attention, he and a bouncer are on the spot in seconds. But not before Nina throws the drink in Mr. Drink Spikers face.

He angrily lunges at Nina but the bouncer is bigger, quicker, and stronger. He is in a headlock before he even knows what happened.

BARTENDER

What’s going on here?

NINA

He put something in that woman’s drink.

Motioning to the still oblivious beauty at the bar.

NINA

I thought he might like a sip.

She smirks at him.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

That’s BULLSHIT!

He screams from the headlock that just got a bit tighter.

MR.DRINK SPIKER

I don’t know what she is talking about.

He barely squeaks out. His red flush quickly turning blue.

Nina gloats.

BARTENDER

We’ll take it from here. I’ll check the footage and call the police. In the future just let us handle it, OK.

NINA

Sure.

She says unconvincingly (this was way too much fun).

BARTENDER

And hey, drinks are on the house for you tonight.

He winks.

BARTENDER

Good work.

Nina has a quiet proud moment before she sees her friends arrive.

Osgood rarely surprised by mortals watches her walk away. A waitress interrupts his focus.

WAITRESS

Can I get you a drink?

Without looking at the waitress.

OSGOOD

I’ll be having a drink later.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Writing is BOLD!

What I learned doing this assignment. I had a terrible time picking a scene. I finally did but …meh….I will look for other opportunities to put different flavors on scenes as I continue.

PLAIN VERSION

INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

Jim is sitting at the table with his coffee and a bunch of old photos, he squints at one.

MARIN: I swear she messes with me on purpose.

JIM: Don’t take it personally, she is just going through a phase.

Marin grabs readers off the counter and hands them to Jim.

MARIN: Would you like to continue to squint or would you actually like to really see those?

JIM: Thank you (sarcastically)

Marin is shutting cupboards, closing open boxes, wiping crumbs etc…

MARIN: Look at this place.

Jim looks at the kitchen with the readers on, eyes magnified, making a goofy, cross-eyed face.

JIM: Is one of you talking to me?

Jim never fails to make Marin laugh even when she is angry.

WRITTEN WITH LOVE FOR NINA

INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

Jim sits at the table with a cup of coffee tearing up over a baby photo of Nina. Marin pats him on the cheek lovingly. He picks up another photo and squints.

MARIN: I really hate to think she messes with me on purpose.

JIM: Don’t take it personally, she is just going through a phase.

Marin grabs readers off the counter and hands them to Jim.

MARIN: Would you like to continue to squint or would you actually like to really see those?

JIM: Thank you (sarcastically)

Marin picks up some photos.

MARIN: I just want her to be happy. But, look at this place.

Jim looks at the kitchen with the readers on, eyes magnified, making a goofy, cross-eyed face.

JIM: Is one of you talking to me?

Jim never fails to make Marin laugh even when she is angry.

WRITTEN WITH ANGER TOWARDS NINA

INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

Jim is sitting at the table with his coffee and a bunch of old photos, he squints at one then tosses is back in the back.

MARIN: I swear she messes with me on purpose.

Marin steps on food left on the floor.

MARIN: GOD-DAMMIT!!!

Taking a deep cleansing breath.

JIM: Don’t take it personally, she is just going through a phase.

Marin grabs readers off the counter and hands them to Jim.

MARIN: Would you like to continue to squint or would you actually like to really see those?

JIM: Thank you (sarcastically)

Marin is slamming cupboards, jamming open boxes closed, and wiping crumbs with unnecessary force…

MARIN: Look at this place.

Jim looks at the kitchen with the readers on, eyes magnified, making a goofy, cross-eyed face.

JIM: Is one of you talking to me?

Jim never fails to make Marin laugh even when she is angry.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis – Extreme Emotion

What I learned doing this assignment.- I’m not quite sure yet, but it felt good to get this scene started, it still has a ways to go and I’ve got a few decisions to make based on my original outline.

1. Name: Nina

Traits: Impatient, Determined, Moody, Wounded

Subtext: Suspicious

AGENDA: Find out what he is up to.

Name: Marin

Traits: Articulate, Self-disciplined, Meticulous, Strategic.

Subtext: Strategic

Character Logline: Marin is a successful, retired public defender, wife and mother who is baffled as to why her only daughter despises her, she also holds a painful secret.

Possible areas of subtext:

She always has a plan. She comes across as having to control outcomes. How she plans , dinners, workouts, events etc…

INT. UNDERGROUND “CELL” – UNKNOWN TIME

Nina and Marin, both exhausted remain quietly restrained on the dirt floor of the cell. The tears have combined and dried with what is left of their makeup leaving them looking like sad circus clowns with little hope.

MARIN

Can I ask you something?

NINA

Do you have to?

MARIN

Even now you have to be difficult…God, I don’t understand you.

Tears well up in Marin’s eyes. What a failure she has been as a mother. Why not? She goes for it.

MARIN

Why do you hate me SO much?

She prepares mentally for the dagger to the heart.

MARIN

Can you at least tell me that?

The silence is as heavy as their situation is dire.

After a few moments Marin is about to give up.

NINA

OK…

Marin did not expect that.

NINA

Just don’t interrupt me until I’m done.

MARIN

Yes.

NINA

It was my Sophomore year at Southridge the weekend you lost the baby.

Not the dagger that Marin expected. Much more painful.

NINA

You remember how excited I was that that really cute senior guy asked me to Homecoming?

**(I will be inserting flashbacks visuals as needed)

NINA

He raped me. (emotionless)

Just when Marin thought she couldn’t feel any more pain.

NINA

I couldn’t tell you because you had just lost the baby. I couldn’t tell Dad. His heart was already broken. I couldn’t tell anyone. By the time I felt you guys could handle it I had waited too long. Who would believe me? Plus, how would it look for the star District Attorney to not know her daughter had been raped.

Marin starts to say something.

NINA

Let me finish.

A weight is lifting off her shoulders as she confesses.

NINA

I resolved to never tell anyone. But, my anger just grew and it was easier to blame and hate you. It helped me keep my secret.

A quiet river of tears flow from Marin’s eyes. Nina remains reserved.

MARIN

I’m so sorry baby.

NINA

I’m sorry too Mom, I’ve punished you for my mistake.

Marin leaps in before Nina can finish her sentence.

MARIN

Rape is not a mistake you made Nina. It is an act of violence, period.

NINA

I know.

MARIN

Do you?

NINA

Yes, Of course.

MARIN

Then say it.

NINA

What?

MARIN

Say it. Say, “My rape was NOT my fault”.

Quietly. Without feel.

NINA

“My rape was NOT my fault”.

MARIN

Louder.

Nina raises her voice this time, it begins to crack.

NINA

“My rape was NOT my fault”.

MARIN

LOUDER Nina!

With all the volume and rage she can muster.

NINA

“MY RAPE WAS NOT MY FAULT”!!!

The dam finally breaks, Nina is sobbing.

MARIN

That’s right, let it out.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis – Visuals

What I learned doing this assignment is that I need a Thesaurus (Thank you Santa) and I have A LOT of trimming and rewording to do and will have this lesson handy for a thorough rewrite when the time comes.

PART 1 – Descriptions from Bruce Almighty

Bruce spreads the hair net, bends down out of frame, comes up looking ridiculous and very disgruntled.

Bruce SNAPS from pissed to instant charismatic TV newsman.

Bruce speaks on camera he speaks in his “REPORTER’S VOICE” – that recognizable, too-smooth delivery that all news reporters seem to have.

Bruce throws a mock hissy fit.

He stares at the prayer beads with a “thanks a lot” look.

BOBBY, the endlessly yammering PASTRY CART GUY

Bobby shoves a bite into Bruce’s mouth. Bruce feigns liking it with exasperation.

JACK KELLER, 50’s, a constant furrow in his brow.

EVAN BAXTER, 30′ s , a walking statement. Impeccable posture, perfect speech, perfect everything and he knows it. FRED DONOHUE, the ever jovial sports reporter; always tanned, vain weatherman,

Like popping out of a coma, Bruce surges in.

Jack rockets back into the room

PART 2 – 5 Descriptions I’d like to change

1. Marin and Nina have been trying to loosen their restraints. Nina keeps spitting on the cuffs to get them slippery, Marin is half grossing out and half encouraging.

CHANGE: Marin and Nina struggle to loosen their restraints. Nina strategically drools down her arm for lubricant, Marin stoically fights off her gag-reflex.

2. She taps him on the shoulder, he spins around so fast she didn’t see him turn. She is a bit dazed but recovers.

CHANGE: Nina taps Osgood on the shoulder, he turns in the blink of an eye leaving her dazed.

3. Marin is on a paddleboard with her younger sister RACHAEL (mid 40’s, athletic, it is obvious they are sisters). Marin is really going for it, Rachael is having a hard time keeping up.

CHANGE: Marin fiercely cuts through the water on her paddleboard as Rachael, mid 40’s, a younger carbon-copy of her sister, struggles to keep up.

4. Marin is in the middle of a very challenging, precise workout. She is in outstanding shape, her form and technique are impeccable. The exercise room is pristine, every little thing has its proper place. On the walls are pictures of Marin receiving awards and honors as well as an impressive display of certificates and diplomas.

CHANGE: Marin moves with skill and precision through her grueling workout. Her body and workout room reflect her discipline and focus. Awards and certificates abundantly displayed.

5. Jim and Marin sit on the couch looking a bit worn out. This is not as easy or as fun as they thought. Marin has a clipboard and is looking over her notes when the doorbell rings.

CHANGE: Jim and Marin drained of their earlier enthusiasm take refuge on the couch. “What have we done?” written all over their faces. The doorbell rings, Jim quickly rallies. Marin, doubtful, grabs her clipboard and takes a deep breath.

[Michelle Damis]

Not sure what happened with the format of my previous post….this looks better

INT. UNDERGROUND “CELL” – UNKNOWN TIME

Marin and Nina have been trying to loosen their restraints. Nina keeps spitting on the cuffs to get them slippery, Marin is half grossing out and half encouraging.

NINA

Mom, I think it working!!!

Nina gets another mouthful of saliva and lets spit drip down her moms arm towards the restraint.

Marin almost gags and is trying her best to ignore what is happening.

MARIN

I’m fine, I’m fine (under her breathe) It’s gonna be fine,Just breathe.

NINA

Come on, try to spread it around, think skinny wrists, skinny wrists. Aren’t you the Queen of positive thinking?

They both focus on slipping their slimy arms out of the cuffs. They must hit the perfect angle as they both slip out at the same time, barely catching themselves.

Grabbing each other for a quick hug before realizing they are embracing with spit covered arms.

Marin starts furiously wiping her arms on her jeans to get the spit off. Nina follows suit, stopping quickly when she hears a noise.

NINA

SHHH….Someone is coming. Hurry, get back into position.

They quickly arrange themselves so they still look restrained.

One of the Vampire returns. It must be time. He is starting to unlock the door when a scream comes from somewhere nearby.

VAMPIRE GUARD

Don’t go anywhere…

He teases them as he puts the keys back in his pocket and heads down the dark corridor.

Nina and Marin hop up and try the door, being as quiet as possible.

They are distracted by a “thud” not too far away, and the sound of keys causing them to hurry back and assume their captive position once again. Marin’s back is to the door.

MARIN

(whispering) When he comes back in, our only hope is for us attack first. You go for his legs, I’ll take the upper body.

She hardly finishes before the Vampire returns.

MARIN

Got it?

NINA

What are you doing here?!

Nina is staring at the Nun from the Church.

Marin spins around to see the Nun.

NUN

There is a lot you don’t know.

MARIN

How to you two know each other?

NINA

I’ll explain later.

NUN

Right now ,I need to get you two out of here. But you must know first that I am one of them.

Panic crosses both their faces and Marin pulls Nina back from the door.

NUN

I’m not what you think, I’ve been protected by the church for years. I choose to help humanity, not hurt it. I see my curse as a gift. There is a movement t…

She is interrupted by sets of footsteps coming their way.

NUN

You HAVE to trust me. Get back in place.

She grabs Nina’s sleeve through the bars and hands her something before they rush back to their spots once again.

NUN

Here…

The Nun faces the sound of the steps. Three Vampires approach.

VAMPIRE GUARD 2

What are YOU doing here?

NUN

I have business with the council.

The Guard isn’t convinced, nor are the others.

VAMPIRE GUARD 2

But, what are you doing HERE?

Gesturing to outside the cell with the mortals.

NUN

I had heard the council was interested in some humans and a particularly rare blood type.

The vampire looks surprised at her knowledge of the situation.

NUN

I needed to see it with my own eyes. It’s VERY interesting.

She looks at Nina and Marin as if she despises them.

NUN

Now, take me to them.

She firmly directs the three Vampires, all of whom are not pleased to be bossed around. They lead her down the corridor.

As soon as they cannot hear footsteps Nina pulls the keys out to show her mother.

END SCENE

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Uncertainty

What I learned doing this assignment is that if I’m almost going to quit in frustration, just take a deep breath and do it anyway. I wasn’t seeing how I could find a scene that would work, but I did and I’m quite happy with it. I do hope you are reading these and I hope you are amused by what I’ve tried to do. 😉

Situation-Marina and Nina are held captive by other vampires

Goal- to escape alive and not a vampire

Threat – The Vampires

(FEAR) Marin and Nina are held captive

(HOPE) They manage to get untied/out of restraints

(FEAR) Vampire is back before they can escape

(HOPE)Vampire is distracted by the Nun

(FEAR) Nun is also a Vampire

(HOPE)She is a good one

(FEAR)Vampire(s) return, Nun lies to them and goes with them, leaving Marin and Nina.

(HOPE) She somehow sneaks them a key

INT. UNDERGROUND “CELL” –
UNKNOWN TIME

Marin and Nina have been
trying to loosen their restraints. Nina keeps spitting on the cuffs to get them
slippery, Marin is half grossing out and half encouraging.

NINA

Mom, I think it working!!!

Nina gets another mouthful
of saliva and lets spit drip down her moms arm towards the restraint.

Marin almost gags and is
trying her best to ignore what is happening.

MARIN

I’m fine, I’m fine (under her breathe) It’s gonna be
fine,Just breathe.

NINA

Come on, try to spread it
around, think skinny wrists, skinny wrists. Aren’t you the Queen of positive
thinking?

They both focus on slipping
their slimy arms out of the cuffs. They must hit the perfect angle as they both
slip out at the same time, barely catching themselves.

Grabbing each other for a
quick hug before realizing they are embracing with spit covered arms.

Marin starts furiously
wiping her arms on her jeans to get the spit off. Nina follows suit, stopping
quickly when she hears a noise.

NINA

SHHH….Someone is coming.
Hurry, get back into position.

They quickly arrange
themselves so they still look restrained.

One of the Vampire returns.
It must be time. He is starting to
unlock the door when a scream comes from somewhere nearby.

VAMPIRE GUARD

Don’t go anywhere…

He teases them as he puts
the keys back in his pocket and heads down the dark corridor.

Nina and Marin hop up and
try the door, being as quiet as possible.

They are distracted by a
“thud” not too far away, and the sound of keys causing them to hurry back and
assume their captive position once again. Marin’s back is to the door.

MARIN

(whispering) When he comes
back in, our only hope is for us attack first.
You go for his legs, I’ll take the upper body.

She hardly finishes before
the Vampire returns.

MARIN

Got it?

NINA

What are you doing here?!

Nina is staring at the Nun
from the Church.

Marin spins around to see
the Nun.

NUN

There is a lot you don’t
know.

MARIN

How to you two know each
other?

NINA

I’ll explain later.

NUN

Right now ,I need to get
you two out of here. But you must know first that I am one of them.

Panic crosses both their
faces and Marin pulls Nina back from the door.

NUN

I’m not what you think,
I’ve been protected by the church for years. I choose to help humanity, not
hurt it. I see my curse as a gift. There
is a movement t…

She is interrupted by sets
of footsteps coming their way.

NUN

You HAVE to trust me. Get
back in place.

She grabs Ninas sleeve
through the bars and hands her something before they rush back to their spots
once again.

NUN

Here…

The Nun faces the sound of
the steps. Three Vampires approach.

VAMPIRE GUARD 2

What are YOU doing here?

NUN

I have business with the
council.

The Guard isn’t convinced,
nor are the others.

VAMPIRE GUARD 2

But, what are you doing
HERE?

Gesturing to outside the
cell with the mortals.

NUN

I had heard the council was
interested in some humans and a particularly rare blood type.

The vampire looks surprised
at her knowledge of the situation.

NUN

I needed to see it with my
own eyes. It’s VERY interesting.

She looks at Nina and Marin
as if she despises them.

NUN

Now, take me to them.

She firmly directs the
three Vampires, all of whom are not pleased to be bossed around. They lead her
down the corridor.

As soon as they cannot hear
footsteps Nina pulls the keys out to show her mother.

END SCENE

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Uncertainty Scene

Bruce Almightly – The scene on the boat where he poses his shit because Evan got the anchor job.

I’m not posting the script, because I can’t get it to cut and paste and I don’t; want to re-type the entire thing.

This scene did a good job mixing hope and fear by using the other character pulling for him and him being unpredictable and us fearing what crazy thing he is going to say next and what those repercussions are going to be.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Hooks

Osgood: (used to be Ted…changed the name) Traits: Idealistic, Honest, Loner, Practical
The Vampire/Osgood: goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

What I learned doing this assignment is what you call “hooks” I guess I think of as seeds in a way. But pretty much the same thing. This scene(s) have a lot of montages, flashbacks and VO which isn’t typically and can get boring f not done well. I’m not sure I understand the best way to format it in Final Draft, but that can be cleaned up later.

INT. COZY LIBRARY TYPE ROOM – NIGHT

A male figure, his identity obscured, sits in an expensive-looking chair next to a fireplace. A well-aged book sits wide open on his lap, his fingers dance along the pages.

Two young adults, one female, one male, obviously related sit on the couch opposite. One of the pair bored, the other uncomfortably fidgety. Both manage to listen respectfully to their host.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Where do I begin? The year was…1987.

CUT TO:

EXT. CONCERT VENUE – NIGHT

Duran Duran on stage playing “Hungry like the Wolf”. The crowd is going crazy. 80s fashion and hair abound.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Correction. The year was 2022, and I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire.

This gets the couch occupant’s attention.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Yes, you heard me correctly. A vampire. And I was 1000% bored with my existence. Mundane, un-exciting, un-changing, un-ending eternal existence. The worst curse imaginable, really.

The fire of the fireplace transforms into a fire where garbage is being burned and continues into a montage of the destruction of earth’s resources while Osgood continues.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Second to that was endlessly watching humans waste. They waste everything. The planet, their resources, each other, themselves. They repeat mistake after mistake, they never learn.

Montage continues: Banking, stock market, money, robberies, violence. Black and White Vampire movie footage mixed in

OSGOOD (V.O.)

And greed, stupid slips of paper or pieces of metal that they make the center of their universe and the core of every decision. I would occasionally find amusement in the fact that humans thought vampires were evil. Well, the ones that believe in us anyway. I daresay in terms of evil, I don’t think I often would have won that contest put up against any number of mortals. But, I digress. Back to boredom.

Montage of “boredom clips” into montage of the vampire trying to kill himself.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

There is a saying, “bored to death”. I wish!… Did you know that a vampire cannot kill themselves? Its literally impossible. Trust me, I tried, and tried, and tried.

INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood is standing gazing out a window, we still have not seen his face.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

2022. I had been existing for over 600 years. I was living in an abandoned, historical building. It was quite a gem and it was free. I preferred not to use currency whenever possible, it was a little game I played with myself. I played lots of games with myself.

Flashback/Montage of Osgood in past times displaying opulent wealth.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I’ve been a millionaire several times over, it was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did. But it no longer interested me it was like taking candy from a baby, which I had done a time or two.

Clip of Osgood actually taking candy from a baby.(this Is the first time we see his face)Close-up of Osgoods classically handsome face.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

As you can see Vampires don’t look like monsters and we certainly don’t turn into bats.

Osgood at a desk piled with books.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I read a lot. I could pass any number of exams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an electrician, you name it. Again, time was on my side, although I loathed it simultaneously.

Flashback to Osgood young (circa.1430)and a group of children playing.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

When I was a young human, time was something that never seemed to go fast enough. The irony, my great torment, is that it will never go fast enough. It will never go anywhere for me. To be mortal again. To want time to slow, to savor, to beg for delay of the inevitable mortal condition.

A flashback of Osgood with a dying patient. (or victim??)

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I often envy that moment when I am with a human and they know their time is up and they would give anything for more. I envy, but don’t relate at the same time.

INT. OLD HISTORICAL BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood turns around in the window we saw earlier. He crosses the room to a mirror and smooths over his hair.

OSGOOD (TO CAMERA?)

Yes, I can see my reflection.

Osgood selects a different jacket off the rack and puts on his shoes. He is getting ready to leave his place.

INT. STAIRWELL ABANDONED BUILDING – NIGHT

Osgood glides down the stairs.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

I spent my days out of the sun sleeping and reading.

EXT. VARIOUS CITY STREETS – NIGHT

He exits and camouflages the entry before heading down the street

OSGOOD (V.O.)

Nights, I would meet other vampire acquaintances out and about (there are a couple hundred of us around the world). We’d met up at places typically open late.

EXT. LAUNDROMAT – NIGHT

Osgood is walking past a laundromat. A lone person is digging thru a dryer suspiciously looking around as they take out and examine various items.

OSGOOD (V.O.)

All night laundromats were interesting. You wouldn’t believe how many people steal panties out of the laundry, at least there are a few less thanks to me.

EXT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Osgood walks past a long wall of a neon-decorated nightclub, the music is thumping from within, not unlike a heartbeat.

OSGOOD (V.O.) OR TO CAMERA NOW?

Nightclubs. We usually have a few drinks. Alcohol has no effect on us, no taste either, nothing does: but blood. We can eat anything but nothing sustains or has flavor: but blood.

He passes a line of people waiting to get into the club, the bouncer recognizes him and lets him cut everyone.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – CONTINUOUS

Osgood now is speaking directly to camera as he walks down a long ramp into the bar.

OSGOOD

Human blood tastes best, animals vary. Sometimes they taste the same.

He stops at a viewpoint to look around. Dozens of millennial mortals writhe on the dance floor(not unlike a pit of snakes)as lights flash and music.

OSGOOD

One day I came upon a family. I was starving. For some reason I just couldn’t do it though. From that

point on I made an effort to, let’s say, “take out the trash” with my meals. It became another game, to pick the most despicable humans I could. I guess I naively thought I could somehow do some good. Evil doing good?

Osgood pauses with a faraway look.

OSGOOD (INTO CAMERA)

I never have made much progress in cleaning things up.

A guy at the bar sneaks a drop of something into a beautiful woman’s drink.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Michelle Damis Suspense

What I learned doing this assignment is just start writing even if you are unsure. It feels good to progress even if the assignment doesn’t feel perfect.

The Promise: A threat (actually a few)
What matters: Saving someone
The delay: Barriers/Complications/unknowns

EXT. SHIPPING YARDS – NIGHT

Osgood quickly walks between shipping containers, Nina follows in the distance.

He rounds a crate coming upon the two vampires that were at the house “trick-or-treating”. They are just finishing up on a victim that is slumped on the ground.

Nina can see Osgood but not who he is talking to. She needs to find a different view without getting caught.

VAMPIRE 1

OZY! You missed dinner!

They both shrug and shake their heads in disapproval.

VAMPIRE 2

He wouldn’t have liked this one anyway. Not his style.

They both laugh. Osgood stone-faced with anger.

Nina is making her way to a better viewpoint, trying not to make a sound.

OSGOOD

Consider this your only warning.

Vampire 1 steps up for the challenge, while Vampire 2 pretends to “shake in his boots”.

VAMPIRE 1

Let me guess. You want me to stay away from your new, happy, little home?

VAMPIRE 2

I don’t know Ozy, you know I can’t control myself around a wholesome mortal, and these guys…

He brings his fingers to his lips in the style of an Italian chef signaling “perfection”.

Nina can hear them and is very troubled by what she is hearing, but still can’t get a good view.

OSGOOD

They are OFF limits.

VAMPIRE 2

Oh….OK…. Yes, SIR.

He salutes Osgood.

Vampire 1 has moved in uncomfortably close to Osgood.

Nearby Nina knocks something to the ground and freezes. She is so close to being able to see who he is talking to.

They hear the noise and stiffen. All 3 sniff the air and seem confused that they are not picking up any scent… Strange.

VAMPIRE 1

You know it was my idea that you move out to the suburbs?

OSGOOD

So.

VAMPIRE 1

So… I should get some sort of “commission” shouldn’t I?

Osgood is not amused.

VAMPIRE 1

Maybe they have some friends that have worn their welcome? Nosy neighbors? Come on…throw an old pal a bone, won’t you?

Osgood steps within inches of his face.

OSGOOD

If either of you come near any of them again, I will hunt you down and kill you.

VAMPIRE 2

Really? You are willing to face the council for these mortals? Interesting.

OSGOOD

I have several hundred more years experience with the council than you do. I’m not worried

Nina is just about to get a full view.

NINA

Council?(whispering to herself)

Confused. She slowly peeks around the corner and must stifle a scream as she sees the dead body. Unable to look away she watches Vampire 1 kneel down for another “sip”.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Anticipatory Dialogue

What I learned doing this assignment is that I can enter into Final Draft and cut and paste, I was having a really hard time feeling like I wasn’t being efficient by having to type it in, then knowing later I would have to re-type into Final Draft. This is actually a big relief and motivating as it feels like progress has officially begun.

EXT. SMALL LAKE/PARK AREA – DAY

Marin is on a paddleboard with her younger sister RACHAEL (mid 40’s, athletic, it is obvious they are sisters). Marin is really going for it, Rachael is having a hard time keeping up.

RACHAEL

God Marin! Slow down….what has gotten into you?

MARIN

I’m just having a good day!

Marin yells back, wind blowing her hair, smile plastered.

RACHAEL

Can your good day be just a little less “aggro”?… Please!

MARIN

OK…slow-poke.

Marin teases her sister but slows down to wait for her. Rachael catches up quickly.

RACHAEL

Geez…Did You have had some awesome empty-nester, morning sex or what?

They now paddle side by side. Marin gives her a big sister smirk.

MARIN

Well, that would require my nest to actually be empty.

RACHAEL

What? Did Nina come home? When?

MARIN

Yep. 3 weeks ago.

RACHAEL

How come you didn’t tell me? What happened?

MARIN

I didn’t want you to worry. She couldn’t find a job after graduation, and you know Jim, he is a big softy. So she is home and I’m back to being a ghost. But, not for long…

Marin now has a slightly mischievous look on her face.

RACHAEL

Ooohh…Did she find a job?

MARIN

Nope…we’re going to take in a renter

Rachael looks confused.

MARIN

And that will pay HER rent in town!

RACHAEL

So you would rather have a perfect stranger in your house than your own daughter?

MARIN

Don’t judge Rachael. Yours are still little. Just wait, one day you’ll wake up and they’ll hate you for no apparent reason.

RACHAEL

But will they kill you?… I mean, you could totally end up with a serial killer or something…

MARIN

At least I know how to deal with a serial killer. They don’t teach you damn thing about daughters in law school.

RACHAEL

Well, you are much braver than I.

MARIN

It’s not so much bravery as it is desperation.

Rachael pulls ahead slightly.

RACHAEL

Race you to the dock!!

They both start paddling hard.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Creates a Future

What I learned doing this assignment is that creativity can come at the strangest moments and often in a direction you weren’t expecting. I discovered a new name for my Vampire character and a new twist that may or may not stick as I continue, but I a took a cliché’ scene and flipped it, but now I need to make sure I like the logic behind it. I didn’t finish the whole scene and I’m not sure it was the best choice for this assignment but I’m slowly progressing and trying to keep up and stay on track.

INT. BREWSTER HOME – NIGHT

*prior to this scene we see a montage of them interviewing other potential tenants.

Jim and Marin sit on the couch looking a bit worn out. This is not as easy or as fun as they thought. Marin has a clipboard and is looking over her notes when the doorbell rings.

MARIN: This should be our last one.

She refers to list. Jim covers a yawn as he heads to get the door.

MARIN: His name is… Osgood? (raising her eyebrows)

Jim stops in his tracks and gives Marin a WTF look, then opens the door. Osgood stands waiting politely.

JIM: Uh..You must be Osgood. I’m Jim.

Jim extends his hand.

OSGOOD: You can call me OZY.

OZY hesitates and then shakes his hand.

JIM: My God your hand is freezing! Please, come in, let’s get you warmed up.

OZY: I’m fine, I run a little cold is all.

Jim ushers him into the living room. OZY takes in the warm, welcoming home.

JIM: This is Marin, my wife. Marin this is Ozy.

Marin stands and greets him, she is charmed.

OZY: It’s a pleasure.

JIM: Have a seat, I’m just going to get this fire going and warm you up.

OZY: I’m fine, really, no need.

JIM: It’s no trouble, there is nothing like a warm fire on a cold night.

Marin is shuffling through her notes, as Jim gets the fire started, Ozy is looking around the room.

JIM: OUCH!

Jim holds his hand up, there is a large sliver stuck in his finger. The tiniest drop of blood is forming at the wounds entrance. Marin jumps up for a closer look.

Ozy sees the blood, a worried look , quickly turns to one of confusion, he sniffs the air. Nothing.

MARIN: Yikes…Let me grab you tweezers.

Marin runs off to the other room. Ozy sits there awkwardly perplexed.

JIM: How does something so tiny hurt so much? Huh?

OZY: Do you mind if I take a look at it?

Before Jim can answer Ozy crosses the room and kneels down for a closer look, and smell. Still nothing.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Misleads/Reveals

What I learned doing this assignment is that it got me to a great breakthrough. I was already planning on using a minor character that I had previously planned a small twist for, but now I’m actually going to make it a bigger mislead/reveal twist.

The first scene is when Nina goes to the church to get your typical (everybody knows) Vampire fighting tools. Holy Water, Crosses etc… She was originally met by a Nun that helps her and teaches her some things about vampires. I was going to have the nun be surprisingly sympathetic. In the end the nun (and other nuns) are fighting on the group of vampires that was after Marin and Nina etc…

Now I will be changing the Nun to a Vampire herself, but that will not be revealed until near the end. She has turned to the church for hiding and to help others (with her immortal soul etc…she has all the time, wisdom and means to helps others) In the end she will save Nina and Marin before Ted and Jim can and will reveal she is also a Vampire, she will help them all escape and fight the elders. She believes she CAN make the world a better place etc… I think I can also weave her in a few places and in the end reveal that she was impactful thru out. But I may decide to not do that.

I’m not ready to write that scene. While I love all the outline planning that jumps around I really feel like I need to write more linearly as I am starting out. I am making lots of notes in my outline that will remind and assist me when I start putting it all into Final Draft.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Crucible

What I learned doing this assignment is that I already have three crucibles already lined up in the 3^rd act (one is probably technically the end of the 2^nd act.)

I have Ted the vampire and Nina alone in her apartment. He knows that she knows he is a Vampire, but she doesn’t know he knows. He will confess and tell her he is leaving etc…(he will have a little fun in the process)

Ted and Jim will have to team up to save Marin and Nina, they will be mostly in a car making the journey to find them and Ted will be confessing all to Jim and Jim will ask lots of questions

Marin and Nina will be trapped together by the vampires and thinking they will die. Both confess their secrets and bury the hatchet (so to speak).

I’m not ready to write these scenes yet as so much that happened prior will flavor them, but I’m thrilled to know that I was on the right track in setting these situations up to begin with.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Amazing Settings

What I learned doing this assignment was another angle you can talk into your creativity, although I must play devil’s advocate when it comes to the film actually being produced. As a writer you can have all the vision you want, but you also have to be realistic to the logistics of shooting as well as budget. For example, I’d like a paddle boarding scene. But I could end up not having a water location, an actress that’s afraid of the water and no budget for a stunt double etc… These logistics can also play in your favor, you could end up finding a unique , surprise location that works for a scene that you had not imagined that you discover on a location scout etc… So I feel like yes, you should be creative and thoughtful, but also realistic and flexible.

BEFORE:

Essence of Scene: Learning more about the life of the Vampire.

Setting: Old abandoned Building with great architecture (he appreciates the art and the skill)

AFTER:

NEW Setting: The abandoned building is an old church with great architecture.

This improves the scene because it contributes to vampire lore and the fact I’m turning the narrative on its head a bit. How can a Vampire be on hallowed ground? Also it adds irony. (I was previously having his building torn down, but I may change it to something different, like it will be a new brewery, which adds to the narrative of holy ground and churches in general)

BEFORE

Essence of Scene: Reveal to Nina that they are Vampires

Setting: Just a dark, private area with trees (nothing special)

AFTER

New Setting: something that provides more vampire irony

This has improved the scene by

BEFORE

Essence of Scene: Learn about Marins secret and feelings while with her sister

Setting: On a walk

AFTER

New Setting: Paddleboarding

This has improved the scene by being more unique. Too many times we see the walk in the park, the tennis match, the handball talk etc….

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Setup/Payoffs

What I learned doing this assignment is that set-ups/payoffs can be very small and simple, or big and noisy can be quickly played out or played out in the long game. I got a few little ones in here, as well as several things that will pay off much later. I didn’t quite finish the scene as I’m trying to not get too far behind in assignments.

Marin (Mom) Articulate, Self-Disciplined. Meticulous, Strategic. Subtext: Guilty, has a secret.

Jim (Dad) Accessible, Loyal, Generous, Nostalgic Subtext: Always wanted a big family

Nina (Daughter) Determined/Stubborn, Moody, Impatient, Subtext: Wounded/Suspicious

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is in the middle of a very challenging, precise workout. She is in outstanding shape, her form and technique are impeccable. The exercise room is pristine, every little thing has its proper place. On the walls are pictures of Marin receiving awards and honors as well as an impressive display of certificates and diplomas. She hears the front door close and glances quickly at the clock, shaking her head in disappointment she wipes a drip of sweat and drops back to the floor to pound out some more pushups noticeably kicking up the intensity.

INT. ENTRYWAY – MOMENTS LATER

Nina closes the door behind her, looking exhausted. She can faintly hear the thump of music from somewhere in the house which very much annoys her. She throws her coat and purse on the floor kicks her shoes off and lets them lay where they land. Almost forgetting her phone she grabs it from her purse letting several items fall out.

INT. HALLWAY – CONTINOUS

Nina texts and walks down a hallway lined perfectly with family photos, she stops at one of her about age 5 with both her parents, starring at it for a moment a soft sadness creeps across her face. She continues on down the hallway after adjusting one of the photos so that it hangs crooked, sticking out like a sore thumb in the hallway of perfect angles, this elicits a small smile of satisfaction.

INT. KITCHEN – CONTINOUS

Nina grabs a glass of water and a snack leaving several cabinets open and a general mess in the kitchen that moments before was spic n span.

INT. OUTSIDE EXERCISE ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Nina walks quickly past the exercise room hoping to avoid eye contact, any contact really.

Marin pauses mid-exercise as she sees Nina.

MARIN: Good Morning!!!

Nina ignores her mother, continuing on by. Marin takes her frustration out on her next exercise.

INT. NINAS BEDROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Nina’s bedroom is a disaster. She pulls the shades as the sun is starting to rise. Throws on PJs and flops onto the bed. Although Nina is 23 the room is oddly suspended in the décor of a 15yr old.

INT. ENTRY/HALLWAY – EARY MORNING

Marin has thrown a sweatshirt on and is picking up the remnants of Nina early morning return home. Every item stokes her anger. The last straw is the crooked picture in the hallway.

INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER

Jim is sitting at the table with his coffee and a bunch of old photos, he squints at one.

MARIN: I swear she messes with me on purpose.

JIM: Don’t take it personally, she is just going through a phase.

Marin grabs readers off the counter and hands them to Jim.

MARIN: Would you like to continue to squint or would you actually like to really see those?

JIM: Thank you (sarcastically)

Marin is shutting cupboards, closing open boxes, wiping crumbs etc…

MARIN: Look at this place.

Jim looks at the kitchen with the readers on, eyes magnified, making a goofy, cross-eyed face.

JIM: Is one of you talking to me?

Jim never fails to make Marin laugh even when she is angry.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis TWISTS

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have several “long twists” making it hard to write in one scene. I picked a scene that I thought I could write some twists into but so far it isn’t twisty enough and I’m out of time because I’m trying to not get behind on assignments. But, if you are reading this know I am filing away each assignment for future use!

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

Nina is leaning over the kitchen island reading one of the library books about Vampires, making a list “TO DO”. There is a knock on the door that startles her. She yells

NINA- Who’s there?

TED-(thru the door) It’s Ted…

Nina panics, her supplies are in the car…

NINA-Just a minute…

She grabs a jar of minced garlic and some chicken skewers, it’s better than nothing. Setting them casually on the counter within reach. She takes a deep breath and opens the door leaving the chain on.

NINA- What are you doing here?

Ted is holding a medium size box.

TED- Your Dad asked me to bring this to you.

He holds up the box and shakes it gently.

NINA- You can just leave it on the floor, Thanks.

She starts to close the door, Ted stops it with his foot. Thinking fast.

TED- Can I at least use your bathroom? It was a long drive.

Nina weighs her options. A million scenarios run thru her head.

TED- Please…

More contemplation…

NINA-OK, Just give me a sec

NINA furiously hides the books and papers in the kitchen drawers. Takes a second look at a scarf on the coat rack and wraps it around her neck. Checking the mirror, she looks ridiculous and adjusts it as best she can. Opening the door she lets him in.

TED-Thanks

His eyes catch everything as he walks in, the garlic, the skewers, the scarf…he is amused.

NINA- You are welcome…But only this ONE time. I mean, you are only welcome this one time…

Her nerves starting to show,

NINA-You can set the box down over there and the bathroom is down the hall, first door on the right.

Ted sets the box down and heads towards the kitchen island. He leans over and takes a big whiff of garlic. Nina’s brow furrows, that wasn’t what she expected.

NINA- Don’t you have to use the bathroom?

Her voice cracks a little.

TED- I lied. Why don’t you take a seat? Let’s slice to the chase.

Nina can’t help herself.

NINA- It’s CUT to the chase.

Her voice drifts off uncertainly as she sits down on the couch.

TED- Whatever. I know you know.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis – Conflict

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is true that you just need to start and try and to worry right now about right/wrong/good/bad….just start getting it out.

EXT. FRONT PORCH- HALLOWEEN – NIGHT

The doorbell rings. Marin and Jim are dressed as Vampires for Halloween. They swing the door open and there is Nina, not in costume but nicely dressed.

NINA: TA-DA!!! Guess what Daddy!?!?

Nina ignoring her mother’s presence. Marin deflates. A group of Trick-or-treaters start coming up the stairs.

MARIN: Nina, hurry come inside so you don’t ruin it for the kids.

Nina gives her mother her usual annoyed look. Marin scoots her in and attends to the Trick-or-treaters, handing out candy and complimenting their costumes. Jim guides Nina away from the door.

INT. HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

JIM: What’s going on? This is a surprise.(having a hard time talking with vampire teeth in)

NINA: For God’s sake Dad, take those things out, you look ridiculous.

Ted has come around the corner, but is not noticed. He nearly laughs aloud when he sees Jim and Marins Vampire costumes. He shakes his head when he hears Jim speak.

JIM: (doing his best Dracula voice) But I Vant to SUCK your Blood.

He goes in like he is going to bite her neck, Nina laughs and pushes him away.

NINA: Daaad…..

Jim takes his vampire teeth out and wipes away some spit, Nina’s face doesn’t hide her disgust. Ted listens, making sure he isn’t seen.

JIM: OK Party pooper, What’s up?

NINA: Well, remember the interview I had? I got the job!!!

JIM: Oh… Congratulations Babe!

Jim hugs Nina. Marin has shut the door and is approaching.

MARIN: Congratulations? What happened?

Nina is visibly annoyed by her Mothers presence.

JIM: Nina, got the job!!

MARIN: That’s great hon…

Nina cuts her off. And only address her Dad.

NINA: I came over to take you out to dinner to celebrate.

JIM: And your mom too? Right?

Marin looks uncomfortable and unwanted. Ted is watching closely. The doorbell buzzes loudly, Marin heads to the door relieved by the interruption. A new load of kids in costume are on the porch.

NINA: Its Halloween Dad, Mom won’t leave her post.

This is what Nina was counting on anyway.

JIM: Come on Nina, at least ask her.

Nina stubbornly crosses her arms, Jim raises an eyebrow, Nina lets out loud “huff”.

NINA: Fine…

Raising her voice and snottily yelling towards the door.

NINA: MOM! Do you want to go with?…

Marin shuts the door, she knows she isn’t “really” being asked. Ted sees exactly what is happening.

MARIN: You two go without me, I can’t disappoint the kids on Halloween, there would be no one to hand out the candy.

Just then Ted interrupts, they are all startled by his presence.

TED: I can stay and hand out candy.

Nina shoots dangers his way, he reciprocates with a knowing smirk.

TED: You three can go celebrate and I’ll keep down the fort, as they say.

Nina is fuming, Marin unsure, Jim clueless to the underlying drama unfolding under his nose.

NINA: Its HOLD down the fort…

Her tone all but finishes with the word “Dumbass”.

MARIN: Are you sure? It’s no trouble??

Halfway looking for a way out herself.

TED: No, trouble at all. It’ll be fun.

He smiles back at Nina.

JIM: Well, it’s settled then. Thank you Ted. (to Nina) Now, where are we going?

NINA: It’s a surprise.

MARIN: Should I go change?

Nina looks at her mother’s costume, starts to say something, stops short and with a mischievous look crosses her face.

NINA: No… What you have on is perfect.

Nina throws Ted one more “I’m going to get you for this looks” as she heads for the door.

NINA: I’ll be in the car…

Sweet and Fake.

NINA: You two hurry up…

Nina
is out the door and down the stairs, phone in hand frantically dialing and
making a call.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Final Scene for feedback exchange.

What I learned writing this scene is that there are times when you can relay everything with visuals and sounds and very little to no dialogue, and there are instances (such as this) where a monologue laid over visuals can cover a ton of ground. My process for this character (beginning of the film monologue) was to just sit down and free write and then edit etc… I’m excited to place visuals when I’m finally writing in Final Draft.

INT. COZY LIBRARY-ISH ROOM – NIGHT

An unseen man sits in a leather chair, cozy room with a fireplace.

(**All of this will be V.O/Narrative with many different visuals/glimpses that align with the monologue. I’m only doing the dialogue here for now, so as you read think about what YOU picture in your head, feel free to share some of the imagery that comes to your mind. Thank you!) PS…Punctuation is not a strength of mine…be forgiving and kind!!! I still have nightmares about high-school English.

THE VAMPIRE (Ted or Theo): Where do I begin? The year was 2022, and I was unquestionably the world’s most bored vampire. Yes, you heard me correctly; a vampire, and I was 1000% bored with my existence. Mundane, un-exciting, un-changing, un-ending eternal existence. The worst curse imaginable, really.

One of the worst things was watching the rest of humanity waste. They waste everything. Themselves, each other, the planet, their resources, their time. They repeat mistake after mistake, they never learn. They have no focus, no purpose. Don’t even get me started on greed, and the stupid slips of paper or pieces of metal that they make the center of their universe and the core of almost any decision. I would occasionally find amusement in the fact that humans thought vampires were evil, well the ones that believed in us anyway. I daresay in terms of evil, I don’t think I often would have won that contest put up against any number of mortals. But, I digress, back to boredom. There is a saying “Bored to death”, …I wish! Did you know that a vampire cannot kill themselves? It’s literally impossible. Trust me I tried, and tried, and tried.

Anyways, 2022. I have been existing for over 600 years, I was living in an old, abandoned, historical building, it was quite a gem and it was free. I tried not to use currency whenever possible, it was a little game I played with myself. I played lots of games with myself. I’d been a millionaire several times over, it was easy when you had the time on your hands that I did, but it no longer interested me. It was like taking candy from a baby, which I had done a time or two.

I read a lot, I took pleasure in that, I could have probably passed any number of exams, to be a lawyer, a doctor, an electrician, you name it. Again, time was on my side although I loathed the presence of time simultaneously. When I was a young human, time was something that never seemed to go fast enough. The irony, my great torment, is that it will never go fast enough, it will never go anywhere for me. Oh to be mortal again. To want time to slow, to savor, to pause, to beg for delay of the inevitable mortal condition. I often envy that moment when I am with a human and they know their time is up and they would give anything for more. I envy, but don’t relate at the same time.

I also enjoyed music, especially piano, timeless really. The digression of music over the years to too depressing, so I should really move along.

I spent my days out of the sun sleeping and reading mostly. Nights I would meet other vampire acquaintances out and about (there are a couple hundred of us around the world). We usually met up at places that would be open late, usually nightclubs. All night laundromats were interesting, you wouldn’t believe how many people steal panties out of the laundry, at least there are a few less thanks to me. Anyways, in nightclubs, we would have a few drinks. Alcohol has no effect on us, no taste either, nothing does: but blood. We can eat anything but nothing sustains or nourishes or has flavor: but blood. Human blood is best, animals will do in a pinch. I remember when I first “became”, I was so mad I would never taste a steak again, not that I had many of those growing up as an orphan anyway. The things we take for granted.

One day I came upon a family, I was starving. But for some reason I just couldn’t do it, you might say my tastes had changed. From that point on I choose to, let’s say “take out the trash” with my meals. I made it another game of sorts to pick the most despicable humans I could, I guess I naively thought I could somehow do some good. Evil doing good? I never have made much progress in cleaning things up.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis-Dramatic Choices

Arrival-Starring Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner

This film is so subtle and understated. Phenomenal tone set with design, music, and shot selection. If there was no dialogue at all you would get much of it. The dialogue simply fills in the gaps that the imagery couldn’t get across. To me, that is a sign of a superb film. I think this is easier to do with this type of drama and I strive to attain something as beautiful one day. My current project is a dark comedy/satire and will need more dialogue but I will try to remember this film and see where I can swap dialogue for imagery. I hope this will be a good reminder of the visuals versus dialogue. As a new writer, I think I’m over-writing a lot, (halfway between a novel and a screenplay)

1,) Music is very dramatic before the first scene begins.

2.) Initial images are dark and moody and dramatic, with dramatic music and dialogue

3.) Touching images with baby, older child various ages. I Love you. I hate you.

4.) Doctor’s office something is wrong, Louise crying, dark hospital, child ill in bed.

5.) Very profound statements in the dialogue.

6.) Scene with students crowded around TVs

7.) Where is everyone? Something is wrong.

8.) Everyone’s cells going off, a student asks her to turn TV on. (again something is wrong)

9.) Spaceship has landed in US, more around the world. Emergency Alarms start going off. (Startles you)

10) Fighter planes overhead, Car alarms, cars and people panicking, car accident in lot.

(there is not much color in the design of the scenes…exposition?) Very grey. Very lonely.

11.) Dramatic news reports and Radio and TV…worried vocal tones.

12.) Louise alone in the lecture hall

13.) Colonel Webber startles Louise in her office, he is there to enlist her help. Plays sounds of aliens. First sound of an alien, VERY dramatic. As he leaves she gives him direction to ask her “competition” referencing the sanskirt word for war.

14.) Louise is woken by a craft flying over-loud and bright. The colonel is back to enlist her help. She was right.

15.) Helicopter, loud, dark, unnerving. Dramatic dark shot of it flying away from her house.

16.) Louise and who she will report to have immediate different opposing views on how to approach the aliens.

17.) Seeing the ship for the first time. Dramatic shot and music. Imagery says it all.

18.) they arrive at the base camp and they see someone who did not fair well. That is scary to them. Being poked and prodded by medical staff to prepare them.

19.) Dramatic control room with all the screens, all the other countries trying to figure out the aliens. Sense of danger and urgency.

20.) Meeting rest of crew/team. Alarms going off=unnerving.

21.) Putting on safety outfits….they are going to MEET aliens for the first time. The breathing is VERY additive to the dramatic tone. Lots of dialogue comes out as a danger or warning of.

22.) Preparing to enter the craft. Touching the craft with fingers…scared but exhilarated at the same time.

23.) Gravity flipped-cool and dramatic. Riding lift up into craft. Again, breathing adds so much to the feel as well as the sounds of the ship –Eerie. The trip down the tunnel…which way is up??

24.) Louise is scared the colonel gives her a shove/boost. The view of people on the ground below is crazy, mind-bending…and the sounds add to it.

25.) The birds chirping…if the birds die there is a problem with oxygen. SCARY.

26.) Seeing and hearing the creatures for the first time.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Ad for A-List

What I learned from this assignment. I have learned the importance of taking this angle into consideration. And moving forward I will be looking at each main character from this perspective (I’m an actress so that helps)

Tell us the character’s name and answer these three questions. Ted the Vampire (changing name to Theo though)

a. What is the Interesting Situation? The situation is that he is a couple hundred year old vampire that is bored with existence, disgusted with humans behavior at large, but has also grown a conscience.

b. What is the Insight about this character? The first several minutes are a monologue/narration where a lot of info is going to be shared and history laid out.

c. What Action and Description will sell this character? Well, who doesn’t want to play a cool, moody, wise Vampire. And I think I have a very different take on the genre. He will be a hero for humanity in the end.

3. Write the scene to highlight the best part of this character.

Because this is a monologue
I have started just free writing as if he is writing his diary. So I ‘m not prepared to post that yet

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Dialogue on the Attack

What I learned from this assignment is that once I get going it starts to flow. I really like this technique and look forward to implementing more.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Oddly defensive, Ted threatens, Nina interrupts. Ted surprised.

NINA

Can I talk to you?

TED

Technically you are.

NINA

I am what?

TED

Talking to me.

NINA

(Rolls eyes)Oh my God you are one of the intolerable smart-asses, aren’t you. (the gloves start to come off)

TED

I have been called intolerable more than once.

NINA

Never mind. Listen, I’ll cut to the chase,

TED

(interrupting) Please do.

NINA

ARRGH…I just wanted to let you know that if you do ANYTHING to my parents I will hunt you down and kill you!

TED

Interesting (looking amused/confused)

NINA

What?

TED

Oh, Nothing (but he is baiting the hook)

NINA

Whaaat?

TED

Well, It’s just that they seemed so relieved to be rid of you and here you are acting like their savior or something.

NINA

Relieved? What are you talking about?

TED

The only reason I’m even there… is so that you aren’t.

NINA

You aren’t even making sense.

TED

You are right. It doesn’t make sense. It makes no sense at all that two loving parents are willing to have a complete stranger live in their house so that their daughter can live elsewhere.

NINA

It makes total sense! I NEED to live in the city to get a job and they can’t afford it otherwise.

TED

OH, OK. (shrugs it off like he believes her, starts to turn away)

NINA

Oh, No you don’t.. What do you know? (Suspicious)

**This will continue like siblings fighting and he will set her straight on her behavior, she will be mad and storm out.

***I gave myself only so much time to do this assignment and I’ve got to move on now.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Character outline

What I learned doing this assignment is that I luckily had quite a few character traits built in which boosted my confidence as a newbie. I also found my own path with this assignment in terms of creating a template I can pull out as I go through the scenes. I am submitting part of my outline but not all of it. In many places I would either underline what I added or I made notes to remind me to focus on a particular trait…for example D=determined/stubborn would que me to revisit those traits in particular when I am writing that scene. I do appreciate the structure and putting it into action but I’m going to not do the complete outline right now as I know I can use this very helpful technique anytime. I feel compelled to get caught up on assignments, so I’m going to forge ahead.

INT. COZY LIBRARY-ISH ROOM – NIGHT

An unseen man sits in a leather chair, cozy room, fireplace.

INT. VERY OLD INTERIOR – NIGHT

Ted narrating. “The year was (pick a time hundreds of years ago) show Ted in those clothes etc(or don’t show Ted just show the era)… “Wait, what am I doing? Totally wrong year…)

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated cont. “Correction, the year was ____ (could do 2022 or could totally have fun with 1987) He is sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc… Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human.(?dropped money and returned it –HONESTY-) “Just a bite” opportunity for humor/irony.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (lots of sarcasm here)(very young in vampire years) explains a bit about other vampires in his life. We then see Nina in the night club in the background. Waitress approaches – Ted, “I’ll be having a drink later” comment. (Audience should think she is going to be a victim)

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

(we leave narration) Ted sits down at bar with his vampire friend, they start chatting. Discussing something Ted has been reading (wise/knowledgeable)

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina arrives at bar next to Ted, orders drink. Nina impatient and short with bartender. Ted reacts with a sarcastic/practical comment. Nina ignores Ted is suspicious, she is distracted by a guy being too pushy with a girl nearby, she intervenes, Ted notices. Nina comes back to grab drink, snarky comments between Ted and Nina.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy. No job, etc… D=determined/stubborn/impatient.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrates observing humans. D=Honest/Sarcastic /Idealistc

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from the audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades “She only looks like a bitch, pick someone else” (she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrates as he walks how and why he picks his prey. <u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>D=Wise/Practical/Idealistic

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Full-out Characters

What I learned is that I needed to go a different route with this assignment. I am quite behind after a few days on set and a short trip. I created templates for my characters similar to the template that Hal gave us. I have filled those out and will have them to reference from here on out. This will help me as I work through future scenes and develop dialogue.

[Michelle Damis]

Day 6 Seducing Actors

PS 80 Michelle Damis Character Chemistry.

What have I learned from this assignment is that in this particular project I have many built in conflicts becuase of the basic nature of the characters so it was fun to find commonalities, because in some ways the sameness in another story would be an opposite.

**All are opposites in terms of human/vampire-mortal/immortal

Ted/Nina-similar age (in appearance/not in reality), both have a secret, both don’t feel worthy in some way, both want to protect Jim/Marin (this evolves though) frequent the same bar, they end up at opposites over Jim and Marin-fighting for attention for different reasons.

Ted/Jim-They resemble each other (look related), both idealists, both have a sense of conscious Jim is Vegan-Ted blood, both environmentalist mindset, has had to kill vs.pacifist.

Ted/Marin- wicked sense of humors, need love from someone that eludes them, both argue well, meat lovers, understand pain and having a secret.

Jim/Marin-Both love Nina, both wanted a son, vegan vs. meat eater, one has a secret they hide from the other.

Jim/Nina-They have a similar sense of corny humor and great laughs, Jim is an optimist-Nina pessimist. She keeps a secret from her Dad. They love old movies and puzzles.

Marin/Nina- they share having a painful secret, both love Jim, both wanted a bigger family, one has had professional success the other hasn’t and worries about that. Marin deals with anger well, Nina doesn’t. They both are good arguers.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Character Arc

What I learned doing this assignment is that because of the nature of my story some of the challenges would not be considered as such if it was a normal person. I think it is interesting to see that things we take for granted are seen as challenges. I’m hoping that because everything is backwards that people find it fresh and different. I’m hoping I can pull off a great bit of Swiftean Satire.

— Issue, Challenges, and Transformation.

1. The Issue: the character with a certain fear, flaw, or trait that needs to be changed.

Ted is a Vampire that is bored, lonely, hateful, misanthrope. He talks of trying to commit suicide and having nothing new or meaningful to experience in life.

2. Escalating Challenges: Throughout the story, the character is continually confronted with situations that challenge the fear, flaw, or trait. The character does everything they can to avoid dealing with it — straight out avoidance, uses coping strategies, fights against it, etc. But the challenges keep increasing in intensity until…

CHALLENGE 1: we see him challenged by his conscience when he gives to a begger

CHALLENGE 2: we see him challenged by his conscience when he tells his friend to not pick Nina

CHALLENGE 3: He no longer has a place to live

CHALLENGE 4: he meets the parents he will be living with and “feels” something new and different

CHALLENGE 5: he is experiencing a family and love

CHALLENGE 6: he loses his taste for killing human(although he was already making conscience driven choices prior)

CHALLENGE 7: he is confronted by Nina and give “brotherly” advice.

CHALLENGE 8: More feelings are taking him over

CHALLENGE 9: his humans are in danger from others

CHALLENGE 10: Nina has found out what he is and is going to tell

CHALLENGE 11: Elder vampires give Ted ultimatum:

CHALLENGE 12: Nina and Marin are taken and in danger

CHALLENGE 13: Ted has to confess to Jim-everything

CHALLENGE 14: Ted tries to save them

CHALLENGE 15: Final sacrifice

3. The Transformation: Finally, when all else fails, the character makes the change — faces the fear, has a major insight, or finally chooses the one path they have avoided for the entire movie.

Ted finds something new-a family and love. He now has a reason to live and not be bored anymore. He now has something to protect and ironically doesn’t want to die, but will have to sacrifice to save the humans he has come to love.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Characters Live!

What I learned from this is that free writing an asking questions can get some creative juices going, but for me it also opens up new wormholes that I have to choose which way I’m going to go. I also learned that I don’t think my other characters are going to be nearly as interesting as this one.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

V.O- “Correction, the year was 2022. 2022, Kind of rolls off your tongue doesn’t it? 2022 and I was so bored. I was the worlds most bored Vampire. (close-up of a very handsome 23 year old young man) Yep, that’s me. I’ve been 23 years old for centuries. I’ve read, I’ve listened I’ve watched history repeat itself over and over-no one ever learns, I’m convinced humans can’t. You know I even had a T-shirt in the 1970s that said “Been there, done that”, it was one of my favorites. I’m sorry, you probably haven’t heard a word I’ve said since “Vampire”. Yes, I’m a vampire. And there are so many misconceptions about us. My God- that damn Twilight series alone, seriously “sparkles”? Anyway, for example did you know that a vampire can’t commit suicide? (show various scenes of him trying) Literally CAN NOT, trust me I’ve tried- I gave that up so long ago. I’m also proof that we can’t be bored to death. “

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Dueling Agendas

Scene in nightclub between Ted and Nina

1. Name: Ted the Vampire

Traits: Idealistic, Honest, Loner, Practical

Subtext: Loner

AGENDA: Keep her away from the other vampires and teach her a lesson.

2. Name: Nina

Traits: Impatient, Determined, Moody, Wounded

Subtext: Suspicious

AGENDA: Find out what he is up to.

3.
INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted has been confronting some other vampires, he knows they were watching him earlier that evening he warns them to leave them alone etc… Things are getting heated and Ted is distracted when Nina walks up. (she has had a few drinks already)

She taps him on the shoulder, he spins around so fast she didn’t see him turn. She is a bit dazed but recovers.

Ted: What?(annoyed the quickly realizing who it is)Oh, Hi.

Nina: Hi? (confused)That was weird…

Ted: What was weird?

Nina: How fast you uh….nevermind. (looking past him at his friends) Are these your friends?

(they are eyeing her, Ted is not happy)

Ted: Yes, you could say that, but they were just leaving…Right?(he gives them a look)

Other vampire: Well…We can stick around (they start to make themselves comfortable) we can always catch a bite later. (a few of them snicker at that comment, Ted is NOT amused)

(Ted realizes they are not planning on leaving, he has to get her away from them)

Ted: Come on, let’s go to the bar and grab you a drink it’ll be faster. (he gently grabs her by the arm to direct her, she pulls her arm away and gives him a look like “really”)

Nina: I know my way to the bar. (he concedes and follows her, they sit down at two bar stools and order)

Nina: I’m just going to throw this out there Ted…I don’t trust you. And if you do anything to hurt my parents, I’ll kill you.

Ted: Well, that’s intense. (he leans back and crosses his arms) Good to know.(mocking her a bit)

Let me assure you I have no intention of hurting your parents, they seem quite fond of me. In fact they mentioned what a nice change I am. (this infuriates Nina)

Nina: What is that supposed to mean?

Ted: I’m not sure. You tell me. (clearly toying with her)

Nina: I don’t need to tell you anything.

Ted: This is somewhat unexpected behavior from someone that was treating their parents so poorly that they brought in a perfect stranger so they could pay you to live elsewhere.

Nina: That’s not what happened!

Ted: It’s not? OK, if you say so…

Nina: (furious) You don’t know anything! Just know, I’m watching you, I know you are up to something. (She storms out).

Ted watches her leave then turns to see if the others are still there. The other vampires are nowhere to be seen, Ted looks concerned.

[Michelle Damis]

Day 2 PS80 Michelle Damis Subtext and Loglines

What I learned doing this assignment is that I think I over-analyze things. It is probably a lot simpler than I’m making it out to be in my head. I’ve been trying to tell myself this is just to help me be creative and explore that it isn’t a right or wrong answer.

Fill in this format for each character.

Name: Ted the Vampire

Traits: Idealistic, Honest, Loner, Practical

Subtext: Loner

Character Logline: Ted is a vampire who needs a place to live but instead finds a family he wishes he could be part of and must protect.

Possible areas of subtext: throughout his narration/dialogue, having a sit down dinner, being jealous or wistful of family photos, when he goes to movie for the first time, answering the door on Halloween, each time we see him alone, and disconnected.
———————-
Name: Nina

Traits: Impatient, Determined, Moody, Wounded

Subtext: Wounded

Character Logline: Nina has a painful secret that she must face when a stranger moves in with her parents and forces her to realize how she is treating them.

Possible areas of subtext: When she looks at family things that should be happy, going to the therapist, conversations with friends, how she treats her parents, her conversations on the hotline, her conversations with Ted.
———————-
Name: Marin

Traits: Articulate, Self-disciplined, Meticulous, Strategic.

Subtext: Strategic

Character Logline: Marin is a successful, retired public defender, wife and mother who is baffled as to why her only daughter despises her, she also holds a painful secret.

Possible areas of subtext:

She always has a plan. She comes across as having to control outcomes. How she plans , dinners, workouts, events etc…

———————-
Name: Jim

Traits: Accessible, Loyal, Generous, Nostalgic

Subtext: Nostalgic

Character Logline: Jim is the kind of person
that helps everyone out and always does the right thing, he has had a great
life and he loves to revisit fond memories.

Possible areas of subtext: Talking about is Father. The scene where they go see an old movie. His
general conversations that will endear Ted to him.

[Michelle Damis]

Day 1 PS 80 “Seducing Actors” Michelle Damis characters

What I learned doing this assignment is that I thought this was going to be fun and easy, but I had a much more challenging time than I thought I would. I think I was either overanalyzing or trying to fit them into the story I already have in my mind. The next time I do this process I may try doing it earlier, maybe between the 9 steps and the outline.

I did all 4 of my main characters.

Character Name: Ted the Vampire

1. Basic character traits: Idealistic, Honest, Loner, Practical

2. Want/Need: Ted WANTS to feel like he is making the world a better place. He NEEDS to feel he is worthy of love.

3. Paradoxes (Warring elements) He has to kill for food, but wants to be good. Ted could easily accumulate wealth, but hates greed and chooses to live frugally. He is a steward environmentally but cannot really enjoy what the earth has to offer.

4. Secret: He originally chose to become a vampire, for money and power, but after hundreds of years he realized how wrong he was, he regrets and is embarrassed of his choice.

5. Flaw: That as an evil creature he actually developed a conscience.

6. Special: He lost his parents as a baby and grew up in orphanages, he has never known love of any kind. One night he almost killed a family but was struck by their love for one another and from that night on he only killed what he thought were bad people.

Character Name: Nina

1. Basic character traits: Impatient, Determined, Moody, Overly-Critical.

2. Want/Need: Nina wants to blame/punish her mother for being date-raped so as not to blame herself. She needs to find forgiveness for herself and others.

3. Paradoxes (Warring elements) Nina counsels/gives advice to others that have been assaulted/abused but doesn’t take her own advice.

4. Secret: Nina is hiding that she lied to her parents and that resulted in her being in a position that got her attacked. She couldn’t tell them because she was afraid it would break her Dads heart and ruin her mother’s career as a public defender. Her attacker was a prior client.

5. Flaw: She leaves a mess everywhere she goes, because she is subconsciously trying to get make her parents mad at her.

6. Special: She has a photographic memory.

Character Name: Marin (Wife/Mother)

1. Basic character traits: Articulate, Self-disciplined, Meticulous, Efficient.

2. Want/Need: She wants to know why her daughter hates her. She needs forgiveness from herself and her daughter.

3. Paradoxes (Warring elements) She wants a close relaxed relationship with her daughter/but she has to control everything in her life, schedules, plans, outcomes etc… she can’t relax.

4. Secret: Marin was attacked and lost a baby, told everyone it was just a miscarriage.

5. Flaw: She tries to make things perfect and ends up ruining moments. Tries too hard. Overanalyses.

6. Special: She has incredible spatial awareness and accuracy, she can tell is something is level or not, if something will fit. Hit baskets, targets, great aim etc…

Character Name: Jim (Husband/Father)

1. Basic character traits: Accessible, Loyal, Generous, Nostalgic

2. Want/Need: He wants his family and everyone he knows to have a great life. He needs to be remembered as a great husband and father.

3. Paradoxes He is a pacifist but would kill for his family. He wanted a large family but only has one child.

4. Secret: He knows Marins secret, but has never told her.

5. Flaw: Overly trusting, generous to a fault.

6. Special: He grew up on a farm and passed out one time watching his father kill a chicken by swinging it in the air and breaking its neck. Vowed to never kill any living creature. Is Vegan.

[Michelle Damis]

I am requesting feedback on my dark comedy. I’ll post here and it is also under Day 17 Forum if that is easier to pull up.

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass 10: Essence ONLY Outline for feedback.

What I learned is that if your bare-bones outline makes sense it will only get better with character development and dialogue. It will keep you on track, where you could easily get pulled off the rails if you aren’t sure where you are going.

LOGLINE: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

Plot #12 METAMORPHOSIS: This plot is a magical one. It usually begins with a curse that is generally cured by some type of love — either parental, romantic, love of others, or love of God. This is about a transformation back to humanity through love.

Ensemble Cast-Lead Characters:

The Vampire: Ted is a several hundred-year-old Vampire looking for a new place to live due to his abandoned building being torn down to make way for fancy condos.

The Daughter: Nina couldn’t find an affordable apartment after graduating college and was forced to move back in with her parents. She harbors resentment and blames her mother for an event that happened in high school.

The Dad: Jim is a recently retired grade school principal, beloved by all with a heart of gold. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He always wanted a son.

The Mom: Marin is a recently retired highly respected public defender that hasn’t gotten along with her daughter for years. She also holds a secret, after a sexual attack she was unable to have more children.

DRAMATIC QUESTION: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

MAIN CONFLICT: The vampire becoming connected to the family and doesn’t want to kill anymore and the daughters tense relationship with her mother.

DILEMMA: What will Ted (the Vampire) choose to do when the family he has grown fond of is in danger? Can he fight his urges for blood? What will he sacrifice? Himself or the closest thing to a family he has ever had?

THEME: “You can always choose a different path”

Character Arc:

The Vampire: Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Nina-The Daughter: goes from an angry, mean daughter with a chip on her shoulder to confessing a secret, forgiving her mother and finding peace.

Jim-The Dad: The gentle man that wouldn’t hurt a fly to being willing to kill to save his family and Ted.

Marin-The Mom: Marin goes from being confused and hurt by her daughters treatment of her, to understanding, forgiving and confessing her own deep secret.

9 beats of Structure:

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info narration), going to night club with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at same nightclub, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend.(the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have an epiphany “anybody” better than her they decide to get a tenant so they can afford to pay Nina’s rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kind of recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents-who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marin’s friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Marin confesses a shocking secret as well. Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution They save Ted from the sun, and have taken him in to their family.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

INT. COZY LIBRARY-ISH ROOM – NIGHT

Open on an unidentified man sits in a leather chair, cozy room, fireplace.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated cont. He is sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc… Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc…Show Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (very young in vampire years) explains a bit about other vampires in his life. We then see Nina in the nightclub in the background.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

(we leave narration) Ted sits down at bar with his vampire friend, they start chatting.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina arrives at bar next to Ted, orders drink she observes a guy being too pushy with a girl nearby, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy. No job, etc…

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrates more of his thoughts on humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades.

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrates as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Brief montage of Nina partying into the night.

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. Meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security) reference to being newly retired.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments on walls. Get background from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Looks at a family picture-mixture of sadness and anger Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved. But that she is self-sabotaging

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout, walks thru house to kitchen. Nina’s path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea. Marin gets text from her sister.

EXT. TEDS BUILDING – EARLY MORNING/STILL DARK

Ted is walking up to his building. There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

EXT. PARK/WALKING TRAILS – DAY

Marin walks with her sister Rachel, they have talk about Nina (good time to reveal some stuff) Marin tells her about renter idea, Rachel doesn’t like the idea.

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marin on computer, posting “room for rent” notice, (conflict scene with Nina). Lies to her Mom.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters. She lied to her Mom about where she was going.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friends about having to move. Friend suggests move to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (a couple douchebags)

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Ted has finished “dinner”. Walking home past a coffee shop, sees a room for rent ad in window, takes down number.

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan. He recognizes her from the nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place unpacking with a friend. Happy for herself but suspicious of Ted.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Funny “Vegan” dinner scene.

INT. CALL CENTER – NIGHT

Nina consoles a victim and shares part of her story.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Nina calls, she has a great job interview today.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina at interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes. Phone call with her sister talking about how well everything is going.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up”. Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim invites Ted to a movie.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted mesmerized by movie.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted can’t stop talking about movie. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Nina interrupts. Tense conversation. She doesn’t trust him. He tells her to stop being a bitch. Nina storms out.

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. She was affected by Teds “wake-up call” the night prior.

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters. Threat introduced.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (who are dressed as vampires) Nina takes them to celebrate.Ted stays to hand out candy.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed about costume, Nina takes pleasure in her embarrassment, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. She tells them what he said to her. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses, funny stuff until his real Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina sees “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She sees an old church, screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs empty containers, exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in to church.

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing, Nun surprisingly defends vampires.

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. Internal conflict

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her. Either she storms out or he has to go somewhere.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or he overhears?) Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaving Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-struggle/they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM for Ted.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrives home…immediately smells that other vampires were there- freaks out.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (the vampire stuff and the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Nina is gone- obvious struggle. They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted being a vampire.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

It is Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give Nina and Marin a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina breaks down, confesses her own secret. Marin confesses an even bigger secret.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT (each line below is a scene somewhere in the underground place)

-Vampires come and take the girls to another room. The girls see Ted and Jim. They have to stall.

-Jim and Ted make a plan.

-They start executing the plan.

-Nina and Marin stalling.

-Plan goes sideways.

-Sacrifices are offered up…from all parties (all are willing to sacrifice for the others)

-Vampires frustrated.

-Unexpected interruption –The Nun(s) arrive

-the escape and chase and escape.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

They come up out of ground thru a metal “port” which slams down & locks leaving them above ground. How will they hide him from the sun?

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nuns facing off vampires. Head Nun looks at watch it shows it should be dawn, sun coming up.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

Jim, Marin, Nina, and Ted huddle together. The sun is about to come up and Ted will die. They try to cover him with all their clothes and their bodies to protect him from the sun.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (50+ years in Future)

Ted is telling 2 teenagers (approx. 18yr old twins) what happened when the sun came up.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis DAY 17 Essence Only outline for feedback

LOGLINE: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

Plot #12 METAMORPHOSIS: This plot is a magical one. It usually begins with a curse that is generally cured by some type of love — either parental, romantic, love of others, or love of God. This is about a transformation back to humanity through love.

Ensemble Cast-Lead Characters:

The Vampire: Ted is a several hundred-year-old Vampire looking for a new place to live due to his abandoned building being torn down to make way for fancy condos.

The Daughter: Nina couldn’t find an affordable apartment after graduating college and was forced to move back in with her parents. She harbors resentment and blames her mother for an event that happened in high school.

The Dad: Jim is a recently retired grade school principal, beloved by all with a heart of gold. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He always wanted a son.

The Mom: Marin is a recently retired highly respected public defender that hasn’t gotten along with her daughter for years. She also holds a secret, after a sexual attack she was unable to have more children.

DRAMATIC QUESTION: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

MAIN CONFLICT: The vampire becoming connected to the family and doesn’t want to kill anymore and the daughters tense relationship with her mother.

DILEMMA: What will Ted (the Vampire) choose to do when the family he has grown fond of is in danger? Can he fight his urges for blood? What will he sacrifice? Himself or the closest thing to a family he has ever had?

THEME: “You can always choose a different path”

Character Arc:

The Vampire: Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Nina-The Daughter: goes from an angry, mean daughter with a chip on her shoulder to confessing a secret, forgiving her mother and finding peace.

Jim-The Dad: The gentle man that wouldn’t hurt a fly to being willing to kill to save his family and Ted.

Marin-The Mom: Marin goes from being confused and hurt by her daughters treatment of her, to understanding, forgiving and confessing her own deep secret.

9 beats of Structure:

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info narration), going to night club with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at same night club, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend.(the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have epiphany “anybody” better than her they decide to get a tenant so they can afford to pay Nina’s rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kind of recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents-who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marin’s friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Marin confesses a shocking secret as well. Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution They save Ted from the sun, and have taken him into their family.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

INT. COZY LIBRARY-ISH ROOM – NIGHT

Open on an unidentified man sits in a leather chair, cozy room, fireplace.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated cont. He is sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc… Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc…Show Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (very young in vampire years) explains a bit about other vampires in his life. We then see Nina in the night club in the background.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

(we leave narration) Ted sits down at bar with his vampire friend, they start chatting.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina arrives at bar next to Ted, orders drink she observes a guy being too pushy with a girl nearby, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy. No job, etc…

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating mor of his thoughts on humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades.

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Brief montage of Nina partying into the night.

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. Meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security) reference to being newly retired.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments on walls. Get background from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Looks at a family picture-mixture of sadness and anger Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved. But that she is self-sabotaging

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout, walks thru house to kitchen. Nina’s path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him. They have a conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea. Marin gets text from her sister.

EXT. TEDS BUILDING – EARLY MORNING/STILL DARK

Ted is walking up to his building. There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

EXT. PARK/WALKING TRAILS – DAY

Marin walks with her sister Rachel, they have talk about Nina (good time to reveal some stuff) Marin tells her about renter idea, Rachel doesn’t like the idea.

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marin on computer, posting “room for rent” notice, (conflict scene with Nina). Lies to her Mom.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters. She lied to her Mom about where she was going.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friends about having to move. Friend suggests move to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (a couple douchebags)

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Ted has finished “dinner”. Walking home past a coffee shop, sees a room for rent ad in window, takes down number.

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan. He recognizes her from the nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place unpacking with a friend. Happy for herself but suspicious of Ted.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Funny “Vegan” dinner scene.

INT. CALL CENTER – NIGHT

Nina consoles a victim and shares part of her story.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Nina calls, she has a great job interview today.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina at interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes. Phone call with her sister talking about how well everything is going.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up”. Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim invites Ted to a movie.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted mesmerized by movie.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted can’t stop talking about movie. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Nina interrupts. Tense conversation. She doesn’t trust him. He tells her to stop being a bitch. Nina storms out.

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. She was affected by Teds “wake-up call” the night prior.

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters. Threat introduced.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (who are dressed as vampires) Nina takes them to celebrate.Ted stays to hand out candy.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed about costume, Nina takes pleasure in her embarrassment, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. She tells them what he said to her. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses, funny stuff until his real Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina sees “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She sees an old church, screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs empty containers, exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in to church.

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing, Nun surprisingly defends vampires.

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. Internal conflict

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her. Either she storms out or he has to go somewhere.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or he overhears?) Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaving Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-struggle/they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM for Ted.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrives home…immediately smells that other vampires were there- freaks out.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (the vampire stuff and the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Nina is gone- obvious struggle. They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted being a vampire.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

It is Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give Nina and Marin a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina breaks down, confesses her own secret. Marin confesses an even bigger secret.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT (each line below is a scene somewhere in the underground place)

-Vampires come and take the girls to another room. The girls see Ted and Jim. They have to stall.

-Jim and Ted make a plan.

-They start executing the plan.

-Nina and Marin stalling.

-Plan goes sideways.

-Sacrifices are offered up…from all parties (all are willing to sacrifice for the others)

-Vampires frustrated.

-Unexpected interruption –The Nun(s) arrive

-the escape and chase and escape.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

They come up out of ground thru a metal “port” which slams down & locks leaving them above ground. How will they hide him from the sun?

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nuns facing off vampires. Head Nun looks at watch it shows it should be dawn, sun coming up.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

Jim, Marin, Nina, and Ted huddle together. The sun is about to come up and Ted will die. They try to cover him with all their clothes and their bodies to protect him from the sun.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (50+ years in Future)

Ted is telling 2 teenagers (approx. 18yr old twins) what happened when the sun came up.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass 10: Essence Only

What I learned is that if your bare bones outline makes sense it will only get better with character development and dialogue. It will keep you on track, where you could easily get pulled off the rails if you aren’t sure where you are going.

LOGLINE: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

DRAMATIC QUESTION: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

MAIN CONFLICT: The vampire becoming connected to the family and doesn’t want to kill anymore and the daughters tense relationship with her mother.

DILEMMA: What will Ted (the Vampire) choose to do when the family he has grown fond of is in danger? Can he fight his urges for blood? What will he sacrifice? Himself or the closest thing to a family he has ever had?

THEME: “You can always choose a different path”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

INT. COZY LIBRARY-ISH ROOM – NIGHT

Open on an unidentified man sits in a leather chair, cozy room, fireplace.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated cont. He is sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc… Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc…Show Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (very young in vampire years) explains a bit about other vampires in his life. We then see Nina in the night club in the background.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

(we leave narration) Ted sits down at bar with his vampire friend, they start chatting.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina arrives at bar next to Ted, orders drink she observes a guy being too pushy with a girl nearby, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy. No job, etc…

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating mor of his thoughts on humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades.

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Brief montage of Nina partying into the night.

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. Meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security) reference to being newly retired.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments on walls. Get background from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Looks at a family picture-mixture of sadness and anger Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved. But that she is self-sabotaging

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout, walks thru house to kitchen. Nina’s path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea. Marin gets text from her sister.

EXT. TEDS BUILDING – EARLY MORNING/STILL DARK

Ted is walking up to his building. There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

EXT. PARK/WALKING TRAILS – DAY

Marin walks with her sister Rachel, they have talk about Nina (good time to reveal some stuff) Marin tells her about renter idea, Rachel doesn’t like the idea.

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marin on computer, posting “room for rent” notice, (conflict scene with Nina). Lies to her Mom.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters. She lied to her Mom about where she was going.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friends about having to move. Friend suggests move to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (a couple douchebags)

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Ted has finished “dinner”. Walking home past a coffee shop, sees a room for rent ad in window, takes down number.

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan. He recognizes her from the nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place unpacking with a friend. Happy for herself but suspicious of Ted.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Funny “Vegan” dinner scene.

INT. CALL CENTER – NIGHT

Nina consoles a victim and shares part of her story.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Nina calls, she has a great job interview today.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina at interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes. Phone call with her sister talking about how well everything is going.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up”. Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim invites Ted to a movie.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted mesmerized by movie.

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted can’t stop talking about movie. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Nina interrupts. Tense conversation. She doesn’t trust him. He tells her to stop being a bitch. Nina storms out.

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. She was affected by Teds “wake-up call” the night prior.

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters. Threat introduced.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (who are dressed as vampires) Nina takes them to celebrate.Ted stays to hand out candy.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed about costume, Nina takes pleasure in her embarrassment, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. She tells them what he said to her. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses, funny stuff until his real Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina sees “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She sees an old church, screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs empty containers, exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in to church.

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing, Nun surprisingly defends vampires.

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. Internal conflict

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her. Either she storms out or he has to go somewhere.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or he overhears?) Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaving Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-struggle/they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM for Ted.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrives home…immediately smells that other vampires were there- freaks out.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (the vampire stuff and the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Nina is gone- obvious struggle. They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted being a vampire.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

It is Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give Nina and Marin a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina breaks down, confesses her own secret. Marin confesses an even bigger secret.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT (each line below is a scene somewhere in the underground place)

-Vampires come and take the girls to another room. The girls see Ted and Jim. They have to stall.

-Jim and Ted make a plan.

-They start executing the plan.

-Nina and Marin stalling.

-Plan goes sideways.

-Sacrifices are offered up…from all parties (all are willing to sacrifice for the others)

-Vampires frustrated.

-Unexpected interruption –The Nun(s) arrive

-the escape and chase and escape.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

They come up out of ground thru a metal “port” which slams down & locks leaving them above ground. How will they hide him from the sun?

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nuns facing off vampires. Head Nun looks at watch it shows it should be dawn, sun coming up.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

Jim, Marin, Nina, and Ted huddle together. The sun is about to come up and Ted will die. They try to cover him with all their clothes and their bodies to protect him from the sun.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (50+ years in Future)

Ted is telling 2 teenagers (approx. 18yr old twins) what happened when the sun came up.

[Michelle Damis]

DAY 15

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass 9: Flag Scenes to Elevate

What I learned doing this is it is very helpful to go thru scenes backwards. I also find it very challenging to just flag and not fix. And lastly I think a lot of the problems will be remedied by adding the dialogue and other character development.

1. Read your entire outline and FLAG every scene that has a problem. Give us a paragraph on those so we know what you’ve discovered. My first read through I moved some early scenes around and added a bit to be able to transition smoothly out of narration to “in the moment” perspective. (I also find it helpful to make notes about possibilities and ideas as I go along, so that I don’t forget them.) I also noticed a few holes that I filled with a scenes. It feels somewhat inefficient to just flag then come back, so I fixed most of them or made notes on the spot. If it was something that I felt was a problem that I wasn’t inspired to change at the moment then I simply flagged.

2. Read your entire outline again and flag any scene that can be improved in any way. Give us a paragraph on those so we know what you’ve discovered. What I noticed is that as the outline went on I had less details, but still knew where I was going for the most part. I feel like dialogues and details will provide much of the improvements that are needed. I also noticed I need more “conflict” or “suspense” thru-out but it really isn’t going to change my outline much. Perhaps a few added scenes, but nothing major.

Latest Outline

INT. COZY LIBRARY-ISH ROOM – NIGHT

An unseen man sits in a leather chair, cozy room, fireplace.

INT. VERY OLD INTERIOR – NIGHT

Ted narrating. “The year was (pick a time hundreds of years ago) show Ted in those clothes etc… “Wait, what am I doing? Totally wrong year…)

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated cont. “Correction, the year was ____ (could do 2022 or could totally have fun with 1987) He is sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc… Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human. “Just a bite” opportunity for humor/irony.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (very young in vampire years) explains a bit about other vampires in his life. We then see Nina in the night club in the background. Waitress approaches – Ted, “I’ll be having a drink later” comment. (audience should think she is going to be a victim)

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

(we leave narration) Ted sits down at bar with his vampire friend, they start chatting.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina arrives at bar next to Ted, orders drink she observes a guy being too pushy with a girl nearby, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy. No job, etc…

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating observing humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades “She only looks like a bitch, pick someone else” (she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Brief montage of Nina partying into the night.

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. We meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security) reference to being newly retired.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments on walls. Get background from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Looks at a family picture-mixture of sadness and anger Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. “Good Morning!” Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved. But that she is self-sabotaging

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout, walks thru house to kitchen. Nina’s path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Marin hands are full of Ninas stuff that she has picked up, throws in laundry room. Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him-grabbing coffee. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea. Marin gets text from her sister.

EXT. TEDS BUILDING – EARLY MORNING/STILL DARK

Ted is walking up to his building. There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Ted reads sign. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos. (Comments about the waste, humans and garbage, destruction and greed)

EXT. PARK/WALKING TRAILS – DAY

Marin walks with her sister Rachel, they have talk about Nina (good time to reveal some stuff) Marin tells her about renter idea, Rachel doesn’t like the idea. (tad bit of conflict) (could change to something more interesting /less cliché than walking)

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Marin on computer, posting “room for rent” notice, (conflict scene with Nina). “I’m going to the gym…you should be happy” storms out.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters. (Don’t know if we will get any info at this point) just show she is IN therapy- showing she lied to her Mom about where she was going.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friends about having to move, there are no good bldgs anymore…all these new fancy condos. No history, no class. Friend talks about another friend that moved to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (we see a couple douchebags)

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Ted has finished “dinner”. Walking home past a coffee shop, sees a room for rent ad in window, takes down number.

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan… this is the new renter and she gets to move back to the city! He recognizes her from the nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar. Set timeframe of 2 weeks for the transition/move.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place unpacking with a friend. Happy for herself but suspicious of Ted. (need to set up that she has to work the victim hotline tonight)

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Funny “Vegan” dinner scene.

INT. CALL CENTER – NIGHT

Nina consoles a victim and shares part of her story.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. One asks when he will drain them. The other informs that Vampires aren’t allowed to feed on their landlords or their family, forbidden. Only if they ASK to be turned. Ted is surprised-but also relieved. One says…”But WE can feed on them.” Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.(at least you aren’t a cow, I’d hate to think I was contributing to the beef industry –they are killing the environment dialogue)

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage (highlight he is serious about recycling) before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING (still dark)

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina. Brief interaction?

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Just then Nina calls, she has a great job interview today. Do you want to talk to Mom? NO! Jim consoles Marin.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina at interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes. Phone call with her sister talking about how well everything is going “Like the son they never had” , in store sees a little boy/son-she ends up a bit sad.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up”. She LOVES Halloween- (this could be a great scene.) Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim wants to see a movie, he asks Ted to join them-why not? He realizes he has never gone to a theater.(has to fake that he has)

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Gorgeous old theater. They see a classic that restores faith in humanity(I will need to figure out a really good choice in the movie they see). Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Trying popcorn for first time (clearly dislikes-too dry) Ted mesmorized. Ted sheds a tear?(can they cry??) or he just looks impacted??

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

They are walking to car, Jim asks him how he liked it….Ted can’t stop talking. Jim- “It’s like you’ve never seen a movie before” they laugh. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Oddly defensive, Ted threatens, Nina interrupts. Ted surprised. Tense conversation ensues. She doesn’t trust him. This is where he tells her how rotten she is being that they didn’t just want her to be happy in the city….they couldn’t; take it anymore…you are hurting THEM, they are YOUR PARENTS….how can you do that? You don’t know how lucky you are! Nina storms out.

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. She was affected by Teds “wake-up call” the night prior. Can you believe what he said??

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! She sees some little trick or treaters. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters. (add some threat or conflict)

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner , then meet you for party later…its perfect…Mom won’t want to miss trick-or-treaters.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (who are dressed as vampires) with good news. “I’m taking you out to dinner!” It plays out like Nina expected but Ted has been listening…he walks into room and laughs aloud at their vampire costumes. ”I’ll hand out the candy, it’ll be fun, you guys go” Nina very/annoyed (what is he up to?) Marin- “should we change” Nina “No, you are fine” now plans to embarrass her mom at a FANCY place.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed, Nina takes pleasure in her embarrassment, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. She tells them what he said to her. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses, funny stuff until his real Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina sees “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went. The conversation turns into a bit of a therapy session. Jim and Marin explain to Ted how Nina has changed over the years, they confess all their frustrations, he tries to give them the limited advice he can. He sees how much they love her. Ted looks at the clock forgetting he needs to meet the other vampires. He claims he is tired as his excuse to exit.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She starts to call the police…wait….they won’t believe her. She waits for them to leave then starts driving. She sees an old church (Holy Water) and screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs a few empty containers exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in. Trick-or-treaters in background

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, trying to find holy water, steals a few crosses, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing expecting the Nun to think she is crazy. The Nun takes her under the church to a secret room and schools her on Vampire stuff (will need to do some good cleaver research here- don’t want to be cliché’) Nun surprisingly defends vampires. It wasn’t their fault, such a sad existence.

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. A kid running, trips, crying a Dad picks him up and consoles. Ted is touched and forlorn. Mad at himself… What is he doing? He is a vampire! A killer! He starts to attack someone, the guy laughs…”Great costume man! You almost had me…” Ted lets him go.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her. Either she storms out or he has to go somewhere.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or maybe he overhears?) This could be a funny scene where they make all sorts of jokes… Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

He knocks on door…”Who’s there?” “Ted” she has left all her vampire supplies in the car….so she grabs a jar of minced garlic and holds it for protection.(funny) Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He explains he won’t feed on her or them, they are safe…BUT…he wants her to be nicer to her mother.(choose to be nicer) He explains how his family died. This should be a pivotal scene. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaving Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-struggle/they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM for Ted.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrives home…immediately smells that other vampires were there- freaks out. Jim enters concerned…Ted-asks where Marin is. Ted realizes she has been taken, what about Nina? Not picking up…we need to check on her….I’ll explain on the way.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (the vampire stuff and the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

They arrive, she is gone- obvious struggle. What will they do…they could be anywhere if they are still alive. Wait…is her phone here? Do you have tracking on it? They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina wakes super concerned about her Mom (first time we see emotion towards her mom) Marin “comes to”. They are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted being a vampire.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

It is Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give them a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina breaks down and explains she was date-raped but couldn’t tell her Mom because of her job and the disgrace plus it would break Dads heart. etc… Nina has always felt so angry and so guilty. Marin crying, so sorry. She confesses her own secret. She was attacked when pregnant, lost baby boy-unable to have more from the attack…couldn’t tell your father (he thinks I just mis-carried)…he always wanted a son. Nina speechless. (break up the above with scenes of Ted and Jim trying to find them)

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

(all of the below will be in various parts of the underground compound)

-Vampires come and take the girls to another room. The girls see Ted and Jim. They have to stall.

-Jim and Ted make a plan.

-They start executing the plan.

-Nina and Marin stalling.

-Plan goes sideways.

-Sacrifices are offered up…from all parties (all are willing to sacrifice for the others)

-Vampires frustrated.

-Unexpected interruption –The Nun(s) arrive

-the escape and chase and escape.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

They come up out of ground thru a metal “port” which slams down & locks leaving them above ground. How will they hide him from the sun?

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nuns facing off vampires. Head Nun looks at watch it shows it should be dawn, sun coming up.

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

Jim, Marin, Nina, and Ted huddle together. The sun is about to come up and Ted will die. They are all devastated but there is nothing they can do. They are saying their final words. They try to cover him with all their clothes and their bodies to protect him from the sun.

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (50+ years in Future)

Ted is telling 2 teenagers (approx. 18yr old twins) what happened when the sun came up, they protected him and took him into their home, “old” Nina(she is the twins grandmother) walks up behind the chair behind him as he talks. She adds that they are now old enough to be told the family secret. The family now runs an empire that is environmentally conscious and focused on elevating the good in humanity. They started a blood donation center… to provide non-violent blood supply and rehab vampires to help humans.

**Could set up a new emerging threat at end for a sequel.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass #8: Clichè Busting!

What I learned doing this assignment is that stopping and brainstorming ideas to eliminate clichés gives you options for scenes that could come in handy for other reasons (mainly in production) for example if you wrote that the characters are paddleboarding but someone is cast that is terrified of water you need to be able to quickly make a change that will work for shooting purposes. I think that when you are writing the scene you can get stuck in cliché’s with the actual dialogue as well as with the logistics. For example, my script has to have a “interviewing potential tenants” scene. We have seen different versions of this in many things, It think it will be in the dialogue that I can differentiate and make it fresh, or perhaps have a fresh way that he “gets” the interview in the first place. I also think many of these passes just help you stop and try to think from a different perspective which I’ve found can open up creativity in other areas, and I believe that is why you (Hal) say that it is more important to just do the assignment than worrying about a perfect outcome. We are not looking to all have the same break-thru’s or solve the same problems or need to have the “right” answer. Whatever you learn from the process at the moment is the goal.

First, go through your outline and identify any scenes that you’ve seen in another movie or that feel familiar. Make sure you are rigorous about this. Any scene that you’ve seen before gets flagged.

-The interviewing potential tenant’s scene

-Therapy Session Scenes

-Marin and Nina in distress scene

-Main and her sister walking scene

2. Select at least one of those scenes for this assignment (If you claim you don’t have any clichè scenes, then select a scene that you want improved) and list it like this:

CHOSEN SCENE: Therapy Session scene(s)

3. Then list the purpose. What are you trying to accomplish with that scene?

PURPOSE: Revealing Ninas past emotional injuries and troubles, understand her soul and intentions better

4. Brainstorm 5 to 25 other ways to accomplish that purpose.

-change the person she is talking to from a therapist to someone else, an animal, an inanimate thing.

-change her activity to riding a horse, paddle boarding, hunting bonsai, painting

-journaling

-working a volunteer crisis line

5. Use the three criteria to make your selection.

A. Does it fulfill the purpose/meaning that is important to me? All the potions I think “could”

B. Is it a significant departure from the clichè scene? Some of the ideas are more of a departure than others.

C. Does it accomplish the purpose in a fresh and surprising way that will entertain audiences? I think some of them could lead to different dialogue options that might be less cliché’

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass 7: Setup/Payoff Chains

What I learned doing this is that I am having a hard time identifying and quantifying ALL the chains I have. This however, I believe is a good thing as I’ve woven everything together pretty intricately. Years ago I took the Strengthfinder 2.0 personality quiz(Which I’m sure you are aware of this program from your corp experience). “Strategy” was my #1 strength, so I’m constantly seeing how things can and should tie together. Because I have so many and don’t want to take up a ton of space and time trying to “show my work” I’m going to do more of a summary.

1. List ALL of the setup/payoff chains (SP Chains) from your story — One or two sentences per setup/payoff.

SP CHAIN 1: Ted appears to be a human hating vampire, alone and misanthropic,/but he ends up really wanting the family he never had.

Setup: Thru narration we hear all the negative thoughts on humans and the world and how his life “is”

Setup 1: We observe him commit an act of kindness
Setup 2: He spares Nina because he saw her behavior with a guy a the bar

Setup 3: He is picking bad “victims” he has a conscience.

**I continue with these “humanizing:” setups thru out…mixing in little payoffs along the way.

SP Chain 2 Ted has to find a new place to live-decides to try the suburbs/
Payoff : This connects him to the family he “needs”

SP CHAIN 3: Nina is awful to her mother and the parents really don’t know why/she reveals that she was date raped and blames her mother.

Setup: Nina observes a guy being pushy with a girl
Payoff 1: This saves her from being Teds victim that night
Payoff 2: She is in therapy
Payoff 3: things she says to her mother

Payoff 4: other various comments
**Again I have spattered these setup thru out leading the way

. SP CHAIN 4: The loving parents are so welcoming to Ted/treat him like a son/ In the end they lost a son and could never have another and there is a big secret Marin holds.

** little set-up/payoffs everywhere that tie into all the different lines of the story.

SP CHAIN 5: The nun the leaders, the other vampires: their input and actions.

**This is where I need more development especially if I’m going with the ending I’m thinking of.

One example here is when the Nun defends vampires a bit/in the end she will be part of the twist.

2. Select a setup/payoff chain you want to make stronger. How can you make the setup more interesting or effective? ***My chain that I need to work on involves the other supporting characters and how I’ll tie in into the twist in the end.

3. Tell us what difference this has made for your outline and if it hasn’t, find another setup/payoff chain to improve. *This has boosted my confidence as I have realized this “strength” of being strategic is a HUGE benefit to writing.

4. Post your current outline with the improved setup/payoff chain(s) in it.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated by Ted.(as if he is telling a story) He sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc…(need to address usage of money/he is against greed/capitalism) Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human. “Just a bite” opportunity for humor/irony.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (very young in vampire years) more commentary on humans. We see Nina in night club in background. Waitress – Ted=“I’ll be having a drink later” comment.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, orders drinks, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating observing humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina observes a guy being too pushy with a girl, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades “She only looks like a bitch, pick someone else” (she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Montage of Nina partying into the night

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. We meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security)

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments. Get background from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. Looks at a family picture-mixture of sadness and anger “Good Morning!” Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved. But that she is self-sabotaging

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout walks thru house to kitchen. Ninas path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Marin hands full of Ninas stuff, throws in laundry room. Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him-grabbing coffee. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea. Marin gets text from her sister.

EXT. TED BUILDING – EARLY MORNING

There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Ted reads sign. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

EXT. PARK/WALKING TRAILS – DAY

Marin walks with her sister Rachel, they have talk about Nina (good time to reveal some stuff) Marin tells her about renter idea, Rachel doesn’t like the idea. (tad bit of conflict)

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Posting “room for rent” notice, conflict scene with Nina. “I’m going to the gym…you should be happy” storms out.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters. (don’t know if we will get any info at this point) just IN therapy-lied to Mom about where she was going..

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friend about having to move, there are no good bldgs anymore…all these new fancy condos. No history, no class. Friend talks about another friend that moved to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (we see a couple douchebags)

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan… this is the new renter and she gets to move back to the city! He recognizes her from nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar. Set timeframe of 2 weeks for the transition.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place with friend. Happy for herself but suspicious of Ted.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Steak dinner scene.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. One asks when he will drain them. The other informs that Vampires aren’t allowed to feed on their landlords or their family, forbidden. Only if they ASK to be turned. Ted is surprised-but also relieved. One says…”But WE can feed on them.” Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING (still dark)

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Just then Nina calls, she has a great job interview today. Do you want to talk to Mom? NO! Jim consoles Marin.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina has an interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes. Phone call with some sort of conflict.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up” She LOVES Halloween- (this could be a great scene.) Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim wants to see a movie, he asks Ted to join them-why not? He realizes he has never gone to a theater.(has to fake that he has)

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Gorgeous old theater. They see a classic that restores faith in humanity. Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted sheds a tear?(can they cry??) or he just looks impacted??

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

They are walking to car, Jim asks him how he liked it….Ted can’t stop talking. Jim- “Its like you’ve never seen a movie before” they laugh. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Oddly defensive, Ted threatens, Nina interrupts. Ted surprised. Tense conversation ensues. She doesn’t trust him. This is where he tells her how rotten she is being that they didn’t just want her to be happy in the city….they couldn’t; take it anymore…you are hurting THEM, they are YOUR PARENTS….how can you do that? You don’t know how lucky you are!

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. She was affected by Teds “wake-up call” the night prior. Can you believe what he said??

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! She sees some little trick or treaters. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters. (add some threat or conflict)

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner , then meet you for party later…its perfect…Mom won’t want to miss trick-or-treaters.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (dressed as vampires) with good news. I’m taking you out to dinner! It plays out like Nina expected but Ted has been listening…he walks into room and laughs aloud at their vampire costumes. ”I’ll hand out candy, it’ll be fun, you guys go” Nina very/annoyed (what is he up to?) Marin- “should we change” Nina “No, you are fine” now plans to embarrass her mom at a FANCY place.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed, Nina takes pleasure, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. She tells them what he said to her. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff until his Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina see “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went. The conversation turns into a bit of a therapy session. Jim and Marin explain to Ted how Nina has changed over the years, they confess all their frustrations, he tries to give them the limited advice he can. He sees how much they love her. Ted looks at the clock forgetting he needs to meet the other vampires. He claims he is tired as his excuse to exit.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She starts to call the police…wait….they won’t believe her. She waits for them to leave then starts driving. She sees an old church (Holy Water) and screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs a few empty containers exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in. Trick-or-treaters in background

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, trying to find holy water, steals a few crosses, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing expecting the Nun to think she is crazy. The Nun takes her under the church to a secret room and schools her on Vampire stuff (will need to do some good cleaver research here- don’t want to be too cliché’) Nun surprisingly defends vampires a bit. It wasn’t their fault, such a sad existence.

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. A kid running, trips, crying a Dad picks him up and consoles. Ted is touched and forlorn. Mad at himself… What is he doing? He is a vampire! A killer! He starts to attack someone, the guy laughs…”Great costume man! You almost had me…” Ted lets him go.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or maybe he overhears?) This could be a funny scene where they make all sorts of jokes… Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

He knocks on door…”Who’s there?” “Ted” she has left all her vampire supplies in the car….so she grabs a jar of minced garlic and holds it for protection.(funny) Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He explains he won’t feed on her or them, they are safe…BUT…he wants her to be nicer to her mother.(choose to be nicer) He explains how his family died. This should be a pivotal scene. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaves Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrive home…immediately smells that vampires were there….he freaks out. Jim comes out concerned…Ted-where is Marin? Ted realizes she has been taken, what about Nina? Not picking up…we need to check on her….I’ll explain on the way.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (all the vampire stuff and all the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

They arrive, she is gone- obvious struggle. What will they do…they could be anywhere if they are still alive. Wait…is her phone here? Do you have tracking on it? They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin “come to”. They are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give them a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina breaks down and explains she was date-raped but couldn’t tell her Mom because of her job and the disgrace plus it would break Dads heart. etc… Nina has always felt so angry and so guilty. Marin crying, so sorry. She confesses her own secret. She was attacked when pregnant, lost baby boy-unable to have more from the attack…couldn’t tell your father(he thinks I just mis-carried)…he always wanted a son.

**I’m still working/thinking through the ending

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

Jim, Marin, Nina, and Ted huddle together. The sun is about to come up and Ted will die. They are all devastated but there is nothing they can do. They are saying their final words.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass #6: Subplots with Meaning

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that developing sub-plots is probably one of the reasons we were dissuaded from “ensemble” casts. I can see where it may be challenging for a newer writer. I know I’ll be coming back to this topic and assignment as the story continues to develop. Perhaps this topic is one to be touched on earlier in the outline and then revisited?? But, we have a lot of assignments left, possibly that is already the plan.

1. Identify the subplots that have naturally emerged in your story and tell us the beginning, middle, and end of each.

The major subplot is the secret within the family that causes the conflict between Nina and her mom Marin. It also is a huge reason Jim is drawn to Ted and welcomes him so warmly into the family.

Nina was date-raped and holds anger and resentment that she takes out on her mother (who doesn’t know). This is the conflict that led them to bring in a renter to begin with.

Jim and Marin lost a baby boy (after she was assaulted-but only Marin knows-they think she miscarried) and Marin couldn’t have any more children. This leads to the kind loving treatment of Ted that affects him so much emotionally and pulls him in.

At the end Nina confesses due to the danger they are under and they think they are saying their goodbyes, Marin confesses her secret, and they “bond” and this helps resolve their relationship.

Jim always wanted a son and Ted fulfills that and vice versa.

In a way, you could look at this as 3 subplots or 3 perspectives of one subplot that all feed into the main story.

2. Pick one subplot (or more) you’d like to improve and answer the question, “How can I make this more meaningful or emotional for my lead character?” From this assignment, I’m contemplating creating more of a sub-plot with Ted’s vampire friend(s). I’m thinking I could make one of his “friends” far, far older, and cynical than even him. Quite bored with their existence in fact. If I decide to do the “twist” at the end I’m contemplating I can tie this friend in as an accomplice.

3. Rewrite the beats of that subplot to add in the new emotion or meaning. I’m not quite ready to add this subplot at all yet, but I’m making side notes regarding the possibility.

4. Add the improvements to your outline. I currently didn’t change much so I’m not going to post the entire thing, but I’ve made some significant notes for possible plots and outcomes.

[Michelle Damis]

PS 80 Michelle Damis Pass #5: Action / Reaction

“What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that this has been a challenging one for me. I think it is because of the challenges of a “kinda” ensemble and that everything is affecting everything. So I just tried to get inspirations where I could and not close up my mind because I couldn’t quite put things in order or categories. I do know what I’m being asked to do and I think in other stories I would have been able to a better job.

– Concept: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.
– Protagonist Goal: Deep down he wants to be human again and experience a family. (but he doesn’t really know it because he doesn’t believe it is possible)
– Protagonist Character Arc: (I’ve put all the arcs- I’m finding it helpful. But if I had to pick the largest arc it would be Ted)

The Vampire: Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Nina-The Daughter: goes from an angry, mean daughter with a chip on her shoulder to confessing a secret, forgiving her mother and finding peace.

Jim-The Dad: The gentle man that wouldn’t hurt a fly to being willing to kill to save his family and Ted.

Marin-The Mom: Marin goes from being confused and hurt by her daughters treatment of her, to understanding, forgiving and confessing her own deep secret.

Main Conflict(s): The vampire becoming connected to the family and not wanting to kill anymore and the daughter and her parents relationship.

2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story and list it.

Ted tells Nina that they got a renter because they couldn’t stand her anymore. His telling her the truth is a huge wakeup call.

3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go through that will cause him or her to face the change they need to make.

**In my case he doesn’t think he can change so these emotional moments are basically making it more and more tragic that he can’t ever have what he wants.

-doing household chores and enjoying that it will make them happy

-Jim teaching him how to do something a Dad would have taught a son.

-Experiencing something similar to sibling rivalry at the dinner table.

-Experiencing a movie for the first time as well as being moved by the story.

4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated by Ted.(as if he is telling a story) He sharing what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc…(need to address usage of money/he is against greed/capitalism) Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human. “Just a bite” opportunity for humor/irony.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” (very young in vampire years) more commentary on humans. We see Nina in night club in background. Waitress – Ted=“I’ll be having a drink later” comment.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, orders drinks, brings her friends up to date with her situation, she has had to move back home with parents-not happy.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating observing humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina observes a guy being too pushy with a girl, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades “She only looks like a bitch, pick someone else” (she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Montage of Nina partying into the night

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. We meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security)

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments. Get background from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. Looks at a family picture-mixture of sadness and anger “Good Morning!” Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved. But that she is self-sabotaging

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout walks thru house to kitchen. Ninas path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Marin hands full of Ninas stuff, throws in laundry room. Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him-grabbing coffee. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea. Marin gets text from her sister.

EXT. TED BUILDING – EARLY MORNING

There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Ted reads sign. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

EXT. PARK/WALKING TRAILS – DAY

Marin walks with her sister Rachel, they have talk about Nina (good time to reveal some stuff) Marin tells her about renter idea, Rachel doesn’t like the idea. (tad bit of conflict)

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Posting “room for rent” notice, conflict scene with Nina. “I’m going to the gym…you should be happy” storms out.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters. (don’t know if we will get any info at this point) just IN therapy-lied to Mom about where she was going..

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friend about having to move, there are no good bldgs anymore…all these new fancy condos. No history, no class. Friend talks about another friend that moved to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (we see a couple douchebags)

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan… this is the new renter and she gets to move back to the city! He recognizes her from nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar. Set timeframe of 2 weeks for the transition.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place with friend. Happy for herself but suspicious of Ted.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Steak dinner scene.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. One asks when he will drain them. The other informs that Vampires aren’t allowed to feed on their landlords or their family, forbidden. Only if they ASK to be turned. Ted is surprised-but also relieved. One says…”But WE can feed on them.” Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING (still dark)

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Just then Nina calls, she has a great job interview today. Do you want to talk to Mom? NO! Jim consoles Marin.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina has an interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes. Phone call with some sort of conflict.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up” She LOVES Halloween- (this could be a great scene.) Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim wants to see a movie, he asks Ted to join them-why not? He realizes he has never gone to a theater.(has to fake that he has)

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Gorgeous old theater. They see a classic that restores faith in humanity. Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted sheds a tear?(can they cry??) or he just looks impacted??

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

They are walking to car, Jim asks him how he liked it….Ted can’t stop talking. Jim- “Its like you’ve never seen a movie before” they laugh. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Oddly defensive, Ted threatens, Nina interrupts. Ted surprised. Tense conversation ensues. She doesn’t trust him. This is where he tells her how rotten she is being that they didn’t just want her to be happy in the city….they couldn’t; take it anymore…you are hurting THEM, they are YOUR PARENTS….how can you do that? You don’t know how lucky you are!

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. She was affected by Teds “wake-up call” the night prior. Can you believe what he said??

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! She sees some little trick or treaters. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters. (add some threat or conflict)

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner , then meet you for party later…its perfect…Mom won’t want to miss trick-or-treaters.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (dressed as vampires) with good news. I’m taking you out to dinner! It plays out like Nina expected but Ted has been listening…he walks into room and laughs aloud at their vampire costumes. ”I’ll hand out candy, it’ll be fun, you guys go” Nina very/annoyed (what is he up to?) Marin- “should we change” Nina “No, you are fine” now plans to embarrass her mom at a FANCY place.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed, Nina takes pleasure, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. She tells them what he said to her. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff until his Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina see “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went. The conversation turns into a bit of a therapy session. Jim and Marin explain to Ted how Nina has changed over the years, they confess all their frustrations, he tries to give them the limited advice he can. He sees how much they love her. Ted looks at the clock forgetting he needs to meet the other vampires. He claims he is tired as his excuse to exit.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She starts to call the police…wait….they won’t believe her. She waits for them to leave then starts driving. She sees an old church (Holy Water) and screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs a few empty containers exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in. Trick-or-treaters in background

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, trying to find holy water, steals a few crosses, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing expecting the Nun to think she is crazy. The Nun takes her under the church to a secret room and schools her on Vampire stuff (will need to do some good cleaver research here- don’t want to be too cliché’) Nun surprisingly defends vampires a bit. It wasn’t their fault, such a sad existence.

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. A kid running, trips, crying a Dad picks him up and consoles. Ted is touched and forlorn. Mad at himself… What is he doing? He is a vampire! A killer! He starts to attack someone, the guy laughs…”Great costume man! You almost had me…” Ted lets him go.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or maybe he overhears?) This could be a funny scene where they make all sorts of jokes… Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

He knocks on door…”Who’s there?” “Ted” she has left all her vampire supplies in the car….so she grabs a jar of minced garlic and holds it for protection.(funny) Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He explains he won’t feed on her or them, they are safe…BUT…he wants her to be nicer to her mother.(choose to be nicer) He explains how his family died. This should be a pivotal scene. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaves Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrive home…immediately smells that vampires were there….he freaks out. Jim comes out concerned…Ted-where is Marin? Ted realizes she has been taken, what about Nina? Not picking up…we need to check on her….I’ll explain on the way.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (all the vampire stuff and all the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

They arrive, she is gone- obvious struggle. What will they do…they could be anywhere if they are still alive. Wait…is her phone here? Do you have tracking on it? They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin “come to”. They are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give them a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina breaks down and explains she was date-raped but couldn’t tell her Mom because of her job and the disgrace plus it would break Dads heart. etc… Nina has always felt so angry and so guilty. Marin crying, so sorry. She confesses her own secret. She was attacked when pregnant, lost baby boy-unable to have more from the attack…couldn’t tell your father(he thinks I just mis-carried)…he always wanted a son.

****I have a bunch of stuff to insert here*****

EXT. OUTDOORS/NO COVER IN SIGHT – DAWN

Jim, Marin, Nina, and Ted huddle together. The sun is about to come up and Ted will die. They are all devastated but there is nothing they can do. They are saying their final words.

[Michelle Damis]

Day 10 PS 80 Michelle Damis NQ 3 and 4

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that I needed to correct/change my theme, I realized I had just picked something I thought would fit but it really didn’t. It started as “Family is worth fighting for” but “You can always choose a different path” is more accurate. I also cleaned up my dilemma a bit.

1. Concept: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

2. Emotional Dilemma: What will Ted (the Vampire) choose to do when the family he has grown fond of is in danger? Can he fight his urges for blood? What will he sacrifice? Himself or the closest thing to a family he has ever had?

A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? It is hinted at when he explains how/why he picks the victims he picks/ Then next when he tells his friend not to pick Nina.

B. How are both sides of the issue built up? Every time he protects someone, when he loses is appetite, apologizes to the deer, starts to have actual feelings etc…

C. When does the protagonist make the choice? When he tells the others that the family is OFF limits. Then when the elders give him the ultimatum. He kills them or they will, or he has to find a way to protect them. Either way he will lose them.

D. What do they lose in making that choice? The family or himself.

3. Theme: “You can always choose a different path”

A. What are both sides of your theme? You can always choose your path vs. you have no choice, you are stuck with the hand you are dealt and an inevitable outcome.

B. How will both sides show up throughout your story? Every time Ted makes a decision off his normal path. And how the other vampires don’t change.

C. How does the climax of the story demand your message? Ted changes after hundreds of years, as does Nina and her relationship with her mother and her overall destructive behavior. She chooses to forgive herself and her mother.

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated by Ted. He is telling his story of what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc…(need to address usage of money/he is against greed/capitalism) Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human. “Just a bite” opportunity for humor/irony.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” more commentary on humans. We see Nina in night club in background. Waitress – “I’ll be having a drink later” comment.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, orders drinks, brings her friends up to date with her situation. She has had to move back home with parents-not happy.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating observing humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina observes a guy being too pushy with a girl, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades “I bet she only looks like a bitch, pick someone else” (she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Montage of Nina partying into the night

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. We meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security)

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments. Get info from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. “Good Morning!” Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved.

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout walks thru house to kitchen. Ninas path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Marin hands full of Ninas stuff, throws in laundry room. Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him-grabbing coffee. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea.

EXT. TED BUILDING – EARLY MORNING

There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Ted reads sign. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Posting “room for rent” notice, conflict scene with Nina. “I’m going to the gym…you should be happy” storms out.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters.(don’t think we will get any info at this point) just IN therapy-lied to Mom.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friend about having to move, there are no good bldgs anymore…all these new fancy condos. No history, no class. Friend talks about another friend that moved to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (we see a couple douchebags)

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan… this is the new renter and she gets to move back to the city! He recognizes her from nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar. Set timeframe of 2 weeks for the transition.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place with friend. Happy but suspicious.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Steak dinner scene.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. One asks when he will drain them. The other informs that Vampires aren’t allowed to feed on their landlords or their family, forbidden. Only if they ASK to be turned. One says…”But WE can feed on them.” Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING (still dark)

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Just then Nina calls, she has a great job interview today. Do you want to talk to Mom? NO! Jim consoles Marin.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina has an interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up” She LOVES Halloween- (this could be a great scene.) Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim wants to see a movie, he asks Ted to join them-why not? He realizes he has never gone to a theater.(has to fake that he has)

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Gorgeous old theater. They see a classic that restores faith in humanity. Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted sheds a tear?(can they cry??) or he just looks impacted??

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

They are walking to car, Jim asks him how he liked it….Ted can’t stop talking. Jim- “Its like you’ve never seen a movie before” they laugh. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Oddly defensive, Ted threatens, Nina interrupts. Ted surprised. Tense conversation ensues. She doesn’t trust him.

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. (Not sure what ‘m going to reveal here)

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! She sees some little trick or treaters. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner , then meet you for party later…its perfect…Mom won’t want to miss trick-or-treaters.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (dressed as vampires) with good news. I’m taking you out to dinner! It plays out like Nina expected but Ted has been listening…he walks into room and laughs aloud at their vampire costumes. ”I’ll hand out candy, it’ll be fun, you guys go” Nina very/annoyed (what is he up to?) Marin- “should we change” Nina “No, you are fine” now plans to embarrass her mom at a FANCY place.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed, Nina takes pleasure, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff until his Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina see “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, she is suspicious and follows the two Vampires.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim and Marin ask Ted how he liked answering the door etc….then he asks how their dinner went. The conversation turns into a bit of a therapy session. Jim and Marin explain to Ted how Nina has changed over the years, they confess all their frustrations, he tries to give them the limited advice he can. He sees how much they love her. Ted looks at the clock forgetting he needs to meet the other vampires. He claims he is tired as his excuse to exit.

EXT. MEETING PLACE/WOODED AREA – NIGHT

Ted arrives meeting the other Vampires they argue and fight over the family. They reveal themselves thinking they are alone.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina is shocked when she realizes what they are. She starts to call the police…wait….they won’t believe her. She waits for them to leave then starts driving. She sees an old church (Holy Water) and screeches to a halt in front of it. Grabs a few empty containers exits car.

EXT. OUTSIDE CHURCH – NIGHT

Nina sneaking in. Trick-or-treaters in background

INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Still sneaking around, trying to find holy water, steals a few crosses, gets caught by a Nun. She has to confess what she is doing expecting the Nun to think she is crazy. The Nun takes her under the church to a secret room and schools her on Vampire stuff (will need to do some good cleaver research here- don’t want to be too cliché’)

EXT. VARIOUS STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking, thinking, observes trick-or-treaters and families. A kid running, trips, crying a Dad picks him up and consoles. Ted is touched and forlorn. Mad at himself… What is he doing? He is a vampire! A killer! He starts to attack someone, the guy laughs…”Great costume man! You almost had me…” Ted lets him go.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim is re-telling Marin about Ninas crazy accusations when Ted walks in (or maybe he overhears?) This could be a funny scene where they make all sorts of jokes… Ted decides he should confront Nina.

INT. NINAS APT – NIGHT

He knocks on door…”Who’s there?” “Ted” she has left all her vampire supplies in the car….so she grabs a jar of minced garlic and holds it for protection.(funny) Ted confronts Nina. She wants him to leave her parents alone. He explains he won’t feed on her or them, they are safe…BUT…he wants her to be nicer to her mother.(choose to be nicer) He explains how his family died. This should be a pivotal scene. He also explains that there are other dangers besides him. He teaches her how she can best defend herself against vampires. He tells her he plans to confess to her parents, and then leave town for their protection.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim gets call from a neighbor to come help him, leaves Marin alone.

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT

Jim leaves just before vampires arrive. Near miss.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

The Vampires take Marin.

EXT. OUTSIDE NINAS – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

Knock at door, she thinks it is Ted. It is other vampires-they take her.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Jim comes home, Marin is gone. He thinks she just ran an errand, not worried. Calls Nina, she doesn’t pick up….not worried…but odd. Texts

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Vampire Elders confront Ted. BIG ULTIMATUM (More of this scene) Ted leaves

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted arrive home…immediately smells that vampires were there….he freaks out. Jim comes out concerned…Ted-where is Marin? Ted realizes she has been taken, what about Nina? Not picking up…we need to check on her….I’ll explain on the way.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Driving to Ninas…speeding….Ted tells Jim all (all the vampire stuff and all the “you are the first family I’ve known” stuff)…Jim is speechless

INT. NINAS – NIGHT

They arrive, she is gone- obvious struggle. What will they do…they could be anywhere if they are still alive. Wait…is her phone here? Do you have tracking on it? They track her location thru phone. .

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Speeding to location

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin “come to”. They are tied up and alone. Nina has to bring Marin up to speed on Ted.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Jims turn to talk and ask questions as they drive.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Vampires come in give them a choice…die or become vampires. They discuss options.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

More Jim and Ted talking?? Maybe about Marin and Nina.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina and Marin fighting about options, they have opposite views (do a pro-con list) turns into Marin asking why Nina hates her so much.

EXT. ABANDONED LOCATION – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive, Ted schools Jim on what they will come up against.

INT. DARK UNDERGROUND PLACE – NIGHT

Nina
breaks down and explains she was date-raped but couldn’t tell her Mom because of
her job and the disgrace plus it would break Dads heart. etc… Nina has always
felt so angry and so guilty. Marin
crying, so sorry. She confesses her own secret.
She was attacked when pregnant, lost baby boy-unable to have more from the attack…couldn’t
tell your father(he thinks I just mis-carried)…he always wanted a son.

**STILL working on the end… each pass takes me a bit further.

[Michelle Damis]

Day 9

PS 80 Michelle Damis 3rd Pass — NQ 1 and 2.

“What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that these questions do help fill in gaps and also continue to give permission to not be perfect so that you can find a flow.

1 Concept: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

2. Dramatic Question: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

A. Where does the Dramatic Question first get established and how?

-When Ted the vampire interviews with the parents and they choose him to be their tenant.

B. How is the Dramatic Question increased in intensity?

-In a variety of scenes where he has the opportunity to “feed” but is unsuccessful and gets frustrated

-Then he finds out he “can’t” feed on landlord (contemplating dropping this aspect if it doesn’t play out like I intend.)

-When he starts choosing not to feed on humans/he starts feeling guilty becuase he is starting to like them.

-When some other vampires decide “they” can feed on his humans, and he realizes his fondness and is protective for the first time.

-danger form other vampires grows

C. Where does the Dramatic Question finally get answered?

-At the end when they either survive or become vampires (still undecided on ending)

3. Main Conflict(s): The vampire becoming connected to the family and not wanting to kill anymore and the daughters relationship with her parents.

A. When does the Main Conflict first show up?

-Ninas treatment of her parents and her conversation with a friend

-Ted self-narration scene early on will set up a lot.

B. How many ways can you express the Main Conflict throughout the story?

-This can play out someway in almost every scene for each of them. Ted the Vampire will be more consistent. For the others it may express for just Nina, the parents, or both.

C. What brings the Main Conflict to a boiling point in the 3rd Act?

-Everything will come to a boiling point when everyone is in danger and choices have to be made to save or sacrifice. (The danger will be other vampires as well as secrets from the past for Nina and Marin)

D. How is the Main Conflict resolved? The daughter and Mom will confess their secrets and find peace and redemption. The Vampire will sacrifice and die doing so or will sacrifice and be redeemed and turned human.

4. current version of outline

INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Narrated by Ted. He is telling his story of what his life is like being a vampire. Where he has lived, how he gets by, what other vampires do etc…(need to address usage of money/he is against greed/capitalism) Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc….

EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a homeless human. “Just a bite” opportunity for humor/irony.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” more commentary on humans. We see Nina in night club in background. Waitress – “I’ll be having a drink later” comment.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, orders drinks, brings her friends up to date with her situation. She has had to move back home with parents-not happy.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted narrating observing humans.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina observes a guy being too pushy with a girl, she intervenes, Ted notices.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target of his friend, Ted dissuades “I bet she only looks like a bitch, pick someone else” (she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB ALLEY – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore) Ted narrating as he walks how and why he picks his prey.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Montage of Nina partying into the night

INT. BEDROOM – EARLY AM

Alarm clock going off 5am. We meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents. (Feel the love and security)

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY AM

Marin is working out. View some of her accomplishments. Get info from items in the room.

INT. ENTRY WAY

Nina comes home from partying, annoyed she can hear her Mom exercising. Rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin as she walks past room. “Good Morning!” Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas bedroom is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed. Items in room show how much she is loved.

INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout walks thru house to kitchen. Ninas path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere. Picks up things as she goes. Obviously frustrated.

INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Marin hands full of Ninas stuff, throws in laundry room. Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him-grabbing coffee. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea.

EXT. TED BUILDING – EARLY MORNING

There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Ted reads sign. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Posting “room for rent” notice, conflict scene with Nina. “I’m going to the gym…you should be happy” storms out.

INT. THERAPIST OFFICE –DAY

Nina enters.(don’t think we will get any info at this point) just IN therapy-lied to Mom.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friend about having to move, there are no good bldgs anymore…all these new fancy condos. No history, no class. Friend talks about another friend that moved to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change. They eye their “dinner” (we see a couple douchebags)

**1 week later.

INT. HOUSE – DAY INTO NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

INT. KITCHEN –MINUTES LATER

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

INT. HOUSE – CONT.

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan… this is the new renter and she gets to move back to the city! He recognizes her from nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar. Set timeframe of 2 weeks for the transition.

INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place with friend. Happy but suspicious.

EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Move in “night”, apologizes for it being dark. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Steak dinner scene.

EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. One asks when he will drain them. The other informs that Vampires aren’t allowed to feed on their landlords or their family, forbidden. Only if they ASK to be turned. One says…”But WE can feed on them.” Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human. Apologizes to the deer.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING (still dark)

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, “This is already working out”. Just then Nina calls, she has a great job interview today. Do you want to talk to Mom? NO! Jim consoles Marin.

INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina has an interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview.

INT. BIG BOX STORE- DAY

Marin is shopping, getting all sorts of Halloween decorations and costumes.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Marin is putting up Halloween decorations as Ted is “getting up” She LOVES Halloween- (this could be a great scene.) Jim comes home- she is excited to show him their costumes this year. VAMPIRES! Jim wants to see a movie, he asks Ted to join them-why not? He realizes he has never gone to a theater.(has to fake that he has)

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

Gorgeous old theater. They see a classic that restores faith in humanity. Jim talks about movies and seeing them as a family and how the experience with his Dad was so impactful.

INT. THEATER – NIGHT

Ted sheds a tear?(can they cry??) or he just looks impacted??

EXT. THEATER – NIGHT

They are walking to car, Jim asks him how he liked it….Ted can’t stop talking. Jim- “Its like you’ve never seen a movie before” they laugh. Someone is watching (danger) Teds senses kick up….he knows.

INT. HOME – NIGHT

Ted makes an excuse to go to his room and he sneaks out.

INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted meets his friend asks if he is following him and the humans. Oddly defensive, Ted threatens, Nina interrupts. Ted surprised. Tense conversation ensues. She doesn’t trust him.

INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist. (Not sure what ‘m going to reveal here)

EXT. THERAPIST BLDG – DAY

Nina is scared by a guy dressed up as a vampire as she leaves building. HAPPY HALLOWEEN! She sees some little trick or treaters. PHONE RINGS-Gets a call, she GOT THE JOB!

INT. HOME – DAY

Marin doing all sorts of Halloween craft/cookies….getting ready for trick- or –treaters.

INT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina driving talking with friend on cell, got job, going to pick up her Dad for a celebration dinner , then meet you for party later…its perfect…Mom won’t want to miss trick-or-treaters.

INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents (dressed as vampires) with good news. I’m taking you out to dinner! It plays out like Nina expected but Ted has been listening…he walks into room and laughs aloud at their vampire costumes. ”I’ll hand out candy, it’ll be fun, you guys go” Nina very/annoyed (what is he up to?) Marin- “should we change” Nina “No, you are fine” now plans to embarrass her mom at a FANCY place.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Marin embarrassed, Nina takes pleasure, as they check in with Maître D.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff.

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – NIGHT

The dinner gets tense, Nina says she doesn’t like Ted, is she jealous. They get in a fight.

INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of more trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff until his Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Nina drops Jim and Marin home.

EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina see “much too big” trick-or-treaters leave, follows the two Vampires. Eventually Ted joins them. She discovers the truth.

(this is as far as I got with Pass 3 on Day 9 and I’m posting and will continue)

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her.

INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Nina confronts Ted. Wants him to leave her parents alone. He explains he can’t feed on her or them, they are safe. He confronts her about why she is so awful to her parents. She storms out eventually.

EXT. OUTSIDE BAR – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Elders confront Ted.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Request for Feedback Exchange

Story Logic Web

Title: Empty Nest

Genre: Dark Comedy

Concept: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

Ensemble Cast-Lead Characters:

The Vampire: Ted is a several hundred-year-old Vampire looking for a new place to live due to his abandoned building being torn down to make way for fancy condos.

The Daughter: Nina couldn’t find an affordable apartment after graduating college and was forced to move back in with her parents. She harbors resentment and blames her mother for an event that happened in high school.

The Dad: Jim is a recently retired grade school principal, beloved by all with a heart of gold. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He always wanted a son.

The Mom: Marin is a recently retired highly respected public defender that hasn’t gotten along with her daughter for years. She also holds a secret, after a sexual attack she was unable to have more children.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Plot #12 METAMORPHOSIS: This plot is a magical one. It usually begins with a curse that is
generally cured by some type of love — either parental, romantic, love of others, or love of God. This is about a transformation back to humanity through love.

9 beats of Structure:

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info narration), going to a nightclub with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at the same nightclub, learn about her “life” thru conversation with friends.(the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have an epiphany “anybody” better than her they decide to get a tenant so they can afford to pay Nina’s rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kind of recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, she goes to her parents who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marin’s friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Marin confesses a shocking secret as well. Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution choice A.) they are saved and Ted sacrifices himself so that Jim turns back…the family is whole again. B.) they are saved, Ted sacrifices himself to turn Jim back and in doing so his selfless act turns him back to human. C.) they all turn and become a vampire family D.) They all turn, then Ted sacrifices himself to turn them back. They all wake up in their beds…was it a dream?

Character Arc:

The Vampire: Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Nina-The Daughter: goes from an angry, mean daughter with a chip on her shoulder to confessing a secret, forgiving her mother, and finding peace.

Jim-The Dad: A gentle man that wouldn’t hurt a fly to being willing to kill to save his family and Ted.

Marin-The Mom: Marin goes from being confused and hurt by her daughters treatment of her, to understanding, forgiving, and confessing her own deep secret.

Main Conflict(s): The vampire becoming connected to the family and not wanting to kill anymore and the daughter and her parents relationship.

Dramatic Question: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

Dilemma(s): When the family is in danger will Ted fight for them or sacrifice himself? Will the family choose to be turned to survive?

Theme: Family/Love is worth fighting for.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Pass 2: Story Logic Web

1. What I learned doing this assignment is that I was able to clarify my concept/logline and add some depth to my characters. I really like all this strategizing and planning that I bele3ive will make writing dialogues and scenes much easier.

2. BEFORE:

Concept: Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

Lead Characters:

The Dad: Jim is a recently retired grade school principle, beloved by all, and a heart of gold.

The Mom: Marin is a recently retired highly respected public defender that hasn’t gotten along with her daughter for years.

The Daughter: Nina couldn’t find an affordable apartment after graduating college and was forced to move back in with her parents.

The Vampire: Ted is a several hundred year old Vampire looking for a new place to live due to his abandoned building being torn down to make way for fancy condos.

3. Plot/Structure: (Tell us the Plot number and type. Then give us the 9 beats of your structure.)

Plot #12 METAMORPHOSIS: This plot is a magical one. It usually begins with a curse that is generally cured by some type of love — either parental, romantic, love of others, or love of God. This is about a transformation back to humanity through love.

9 beats of my structure.

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info), going to night club with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at same night club, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend.(the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have epiphany “anybody” better than her…get a tenant so they can afford to pay Ninas rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kinda recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents-who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marins friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution choice A.) they are saved and Ted sacrifices himself so that Jim turns back…the family is whole again. B.) they are saved, Ted sacrifices himself to turn Jim back and in doing so his selfless act turns him back to human. C.) they all turn and become a vampire family D.) They all turn, then Ted sacrifices himself to turn them back. They all wake up in their beds…was it a dream?

Character Arc: Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Main conflict: The daughter and her parents relationship/and the Vampire becoming connected to a family and not wanting to kill humans anymore

Dramatic Question: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

Dilemma: When the elder vampires attack what will Ted the Vampire decide to do? Fight them and save the family or sacrifice himself? What will the family do? Choose to be turned or sacrifice to save the others?

Theme: Family is worth fighting for.

3. Discoveries and Improvements: I rearranged my concept/logline to better reflect the story. I also added some details to the characters that will help me throughout the process. I added the character arc for all 4 main characters since it is an ensemble cast. No major changes in my 9 beats and I’m still open to several potential, logical endings.

4. AFTER:

Concept: A Vampire forced to find a new place to live finds a home with empty-nester parents who unknowingly trade their soul-sucking daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

Lead Characters:

The Vampire: Ted is a several hundred year old Vampire looking for a new place to live due to his abandoned building being torn down to make way for fancy condos.

The Daughter: Nina couldn’t find an affordable apartment after graduating college and was forced to move back in with her parents. She harbors resentment and blames her mother for an event that happened in high school.

The Dad: Jim is a recently retired grade school principle, beloved by all with a heart of gold. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He always wanted a son.

The Mom: Marin is a recently retired highly respected public defender that hasn’t gotten along with her daughter for years. She also holds a secret, after a sexual attack she was unable to have more children.

Plot/Structure: (I had already changed from #1 Quest to #12 Metamorphosis on Day 7 assignment)

PLOT #12 METAMORPHOSIS: This plot is a magical one. It usually begins with a curse that is
generally cured by some type of love — either parental, romantic, love of others, or love of God. This is about a transformation back to humanity through love.

9 beats of Structure:

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info narration), going to night club with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at same night club, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend.(the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have epiphany “anybody” better than her they decide to get a tenant so they can afford to pay Ninas rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kinda recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents-who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marins friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Marin confesses a shocking secret as well. Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution choice A.) they are saved and Ted sacrifices himself so that Jim turns back…the family is whole again. B.) they are saved, Ted sacrifices himself to turn Jim back and in doing so his selfless act turns him back to human. C.) they all turn and become a vampire family D.) They all turn, then Ted sacrifices himself to turn them back. They all wake up in their beds…was it a dream?

Character Arc:

The Vampire: Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Nina-The Daughter: goes from an angry, mean daughter with a chip on her shoulder to confessing a secret, forgiving her mother and finding peace.

Jim-The Dad: The gentle man that wouldn’t hurt a fly to being willing to kill to save his family and Ted.

Marin-The Mom: Marin goes from being confused and hurt by her daughters treatment of her, to understanding, forgiving and confessing her own deep secret.

Main Conflict(s): The vampire becoming connected to the family and not wanting to kill anymore and the daughter and her parents relationship.

Dramatic Question: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

Dilemma(s): When the family is in danger will Ted fight for them or sacrifice himself? Will the family choose to be turned to survive?

Theme: Family/Love is worth
fighting for.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis – 1^st Pass

What I learned doing this assignment is that I LOVE outlining, it is so exciting!

1. concept/logline.: Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

2. What is your plot choice and a quick summary of that plot? I had originally chosen QUEST: But I need to change to METAMORPHOSIS: This plot is a magical one. It usually begins with a curse that is
generally cured by some type of love — either parental, romantic, love of
others, or love of God. This is about a transformation back to humanity
through love.

3. List all 9 beats of your structure.

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info), going to night club with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at same night club, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend.(the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have epiphany “anybody” better than her…get a tenant so they can afford to pay Ninas rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kinda recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents-who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marins friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution choice A.) they are saved and Ted sacrifices himself so that Jim turns back…the family is whole again. B.) they are saved, Ted sacrifices himself to turn Jim back and in doing so his selfless act turns him back to human. C.) they all turn and become a vampire family D.) They all turn, then Ted sacrifices himself to turn them back. They all wake up in their beds…was it a dream?

4. Tell us the Character Arc of your protagonist and add it to your structure. Ted goes from a lonely, uncaring, vampire with disdain for humans to wishing he was human again so he could be part of a family.

Part to be changed: lonely, uncaring, hates humans

Biggest fear: that he can’t control his need for blood now or be human again

Completion of arc: He discovers a loving family and a new outlook on humans, and sacrifices himself to save them (still working on how the final manifestation will play out, I have a few options.)

5. Looking at your plot choice, fill in whatever plot events you think of. Just answer the question “What plot events would naturally fit into this structure?”

*debating whether Ted is telling/re-telling a story or if he will interact with camera like Fleabag.

1. INT. TEDS “LAIR” ABANDONED BLDG – NIGHT

Ted is getting ready to go out on the town-primping, choosing outfit etc…. Narrated by Ted. He is telling his story of what his life is like being a vampire.

2. EXT. DOWNTOWN STREETS – NIGHT

Ted walking to night club, narrating still. Explains more about vampires in general (folk-lore, misconceptions), etc… Observe humans being rotten to each other, more details about his feelings of disdain toward humans. We see Ted do something “kind” for a human.

3. INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted sees his vampire friend. Ted narrates background on “friend” more commentary on humans. We see Nina in night club in background. Comment Ted makes swaps us into next scene.

4. INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Nina sits down with a few friends, orders drinks, brings her friends up to date with her situation. She has had to move back home with parents-not happy.

5. INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Ted and friend select that nights victim(s) (they select someone that deserves it from audience perspective), Nina almost a target, but she does something “kind” that takes her out of the running(she is clueless that she was almost “dinner”)

6. EXT. OUTSIDE CLUB – NIGHT

Quick scene of victims (don’t show any gore)

7. INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

Montage of Nina partying into the night

8. INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Alarm clock going off 5am. We meet Marin and Jim, Ninas parents.

9. INT. WORKOUT ROOM – NIGHT

Marin is working out. Ninas rolls in from partying, rolls eyes/dirty looks at Marin. “Good Morning!” Nina ignores her. Marin exasperated.

10. INT. NINAS ROOM – EARLY MORNING

Ninas room is a disaster, pulls shades as sun coming up. Flops into bed.

11. INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Marins finished with workout walks thru house to kitchen. Ninas path of destruction-leaves a mess everywhere.

12. INT. KITCHEN – EARLY MORNING

Jim in messy Kitchen having coffee, Marin joins him-grabbing coffee. They have conversation about Nina. “We can’t live like this” “ANYBODY” would be better than her! “Let’s get a tenant, and pay for her to live in the city” Epiphany/Idea.

13. EXT. TED BUILDING – EARLY MORNING

There is a guy posting a sign on a door to bldg. Ted reads sign. Building being destroyed to make way for fancy condos.

14. INT. HOME OFFICE – DAY

Posting “room for rent” notice, conflict scene with Nina

15. INT. BAR – NIGHT

Ted telling vampire friend about having to move, there are no good bldgs. anymore…all these new fancy condos. Friend talks about another friend that moved to the suburbs, and loves it. Ted likes the idea. Would be a nice change.

16. INT. HOUSE – DAY/NIGHT

Various interviews with potential renters, one of whom will be Ted.

17. INT. KITCHEN –SAME TIME

Jim and Marin go to kitchen to agree they want Ted.

18. INT. HOUSE – SAME TIME

Jim and Marin offer room to Ted. Nina comes home unexpectedly. They have to tell her their brilliant plan… this is the new renter and she gets to move back to the city! He recognizes her from nightclub, she can’t put her finger on why he looks familiar.

19. INT. NINAS CITY APT – DAY

Nina in her new place with friend. Happy but suspicious.

20. EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Move in “night”. He doesn’t have that much stuff.

21. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Marin are super kind and helpful. Ted has never been treated like this before. Steak dinner scene.

22. EXT.HOUSE – NIGHT

Ted is sneaking out like a teenager to go to club. Already feeling guilty.

23. INT. NIGHTCLUB – NIGHT

With vampire friends, discusses new place he is living. One asks when he will drain them. The other informs that Vampires aren’t allowed to feed on their landlords or their family, forbidden. Only if they ASK to be turned. One says…”But WE can feed on them.” Ted immediately feels protective-not a normal emotion for him. Nina shows up, Ted sneaks out.

24. EXT. FIELD – NIGHT

Ted decides to feed on a deer instead of a human.

25. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted does all the dishes and takes out the garbage before going to bed for the day.

26. INT. WORKOUT ROOM – EARLY MORNING(still dark)

Marin working out, Ted smiles as he passes by, opposite of Nina.

26. INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Marin joins Jim for coffee in spotless kitchen, Jim getting off phone with Nina, she has a great job interview.

27. INT. DOWNTOWN OFFICE – DAY

Nina has an interview, sitting in waiting room looking at newspaper. Missing person article, photo of nightclub, missing person-sees Ted in background. Suspicion grows. She rocks interview and gets job.

28. INT. THERAPIST – DAY

Nina at therapist.

29. INT. HOUSE – NIGHT

Nina shows up at parents with good news. Jim-lets go to dinner to celebrate. Marin –but its Halloween-what about trick-or-treaters? Nina- I’ll go with Dad. Ted has been listening…”I’ll hand out candy, it’ll be fun, ou guys go” Nina annoyed (what is he up to?)

30. INT/EXT. FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Montage of trick-or-treaters and Teds responses funny stuff until his Vampire friends show up. SH*T…now they know where he is and the family is in danger. Jim and Marin come home.

31. EXT. CAR – NIGHT

Nina follows the two Vampires. Eventually Ted joins. She discovers the truth.

32. INT. MANSION – NIGHT

Teds Vampire friends report him to Elders…he is breaking rules.

33. INT. CAFE – DAY

Nina tells her Dad she thinks Ted is a Vampire, he of course doesn’t believe her.

34. INT LIBRARY –DAY

Nina schooling herself on vampires

35. INT STORE – DAY

Nina outfitting herself with Vampire protection supplies.

36. INT. BAR – NIGHT

Nina confronts Ted. Wants him to leave her parents alone. He explains he can’t feed on her or them, they are safe. He confronts her about why she is so awful to her parents. She storms out eventually.

37. EXT. OUTSIDE BAR – NIGHT

Car pulls up and grabs Ted.

38. INT. MANSION – NIGHT

The Elders confront Ted.

39. EXT. HOUSE – DAYBREAK

Ted is thrown from a vehicle and must beat the sunlight into the house.

40. INT. HOUSE – DAY

Ted walks by empty workout room, odd Marin isn’t working out like usual.

41. INT. TEDS ROOM – DAY

Ted thinking about what to do. Where will he go? Will they be safe? Flashback to fun times.

42. INT KITCHEN – NIGHT

Jim comes home (been gone all day) asks Ted if he has seen Marin. Realizes she is missing. Nina not answering phone either. Both are missing.

43. INT. SOME DARK PLACE – NIGHT

Marin and Nina are out cold, tied up together. Wake. In danger. Nina tells Mom about Ted being a vampire. That is ridiculous. Vampires come in. Nina wasn’t lying.

44. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Ted has to confess to Jim, and show him proof. Ted-I’ll save them. Jim- I’m going with.

45 INT. SOME DARK PLACE – NIGHT

Marin and Nina are terrified. They try to make amends with each other. Marin asks why Nina has hated her so much. Nina reveals her secret.

46. EXT. OUTSIDE AN OLD BLDG – NIGHT

Ted and Jim arrive. They find Ninas car and all the vampire fighting stuff and sneak in.

47. INT. OLD BLDG – NIGHT

They fight the vampires.

48. INT. OLD BLDG – NIGHT

They save Marin and Nina (they have to fight some vampires too)

49.
STILL WORKING ON SEVERAL OPTIONS FOR SACRIFICE AND END OUTCOME.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis Favorite Movie Outline – Game Night

What I learned doing this assignment is that I observed a good example of setting up conflicts and then seeing them pay off later. This film while it seems very fast paced and intricate is really very simple. Also that the first scene and last scene were opposite each other, and the big conflicts popped up where they should.

Dramatic Question: Will Max and Annie have a baby.

Main Conflict: Maxs brother always beating him, sibling rivalry. Is he the cause of Max low sperm count/stress?

Dilemma: Do they save Brooks and risk their lives and their friends lives.

Theme: Life isn’t over if you have a baby and/or the grass isn’t greener.

1. INT. Bar – Night

Annie and Max meet-instant love-all about competition and fun.

2. INT. Living Room – Night

Marry Me Scene

3. INT. Wedding – Night

They are all about Fun and Games – starting life together

4. INT. Dr. Office – Day

Trouble Conceiving, Sibling Rivalry-Max always lost to his brother (Setting up conflict)

5. EXT. Front Yard – Day

Annie and Max avoiding awkward neighbor, lie about game night. (Setting up conflict)

6. INT. Kitchen –Night

Meet all the friends, set up history (Setting up sub plot-Fight Club)

7. EXT Front Yard –Night

Meet Brooks-Maxs brother. Establish car(prize) More awkward neighbor.

8. INT. Kitchen/Living – Night

Brother rubs in lesser than/embarrassing. Max can’t perform in front of his brother. Set up importance of Car.

9. INT. Kitchen – Night

After guests leave..”I’ve never won a single game”MAX. “He’s killing your sperm” Annie

10. EXT/ Yard – Day

More awkward neighbor

11. INT. Brooks House – Night

New character intro. Brooks sets up FANCY Game Night. All couples conflicts set up. GAME begins- real situation everyone thinks is fake. (BIGGEST scene 20mins in)

12. INT. Bar – Night

Max and Annie catch up with kidnappers

13. INT. Game company – Night

2^nd couple finds out its REAL…

14. INT. Brooks home – Night

3^rd couple finds out REAL

15. INT. Bar – Night

Max and Annie discover it is REAL, not game. Find out Brooks is a fraud and in danger. Max shot. They escape with Brooks.

16. INT. Car – Night

Car chase, More confession from Brooks, Brooks sacrifices himself, jumps from car.

17. INT. Grocery store – Night

Everyone now knows its real- not a game. (STAKES ar up!)

18. EXT. Grocery Store – Night

Annie trying to bandage Max. Trying to stay positive-they are a good team. (This scene really makes you root for them)

19. INT. Kitchen – Night

Group gathers and makes plan, ties in awkward neighbor.

20. INT. Neighbors House – Night

Executing Pan. Max breaks into computer to get info. Bloody Dog. LOTS of tension built.

21. INT. Car – Night

Driving to mansion, discussing plan, Max tries to sacrifice, all in it together.

22. INT Mansion – Night

(Payoff from set-up) Fight club is REAL. Looking for EGG, Lots of suspense

23. INT. Flashback

(Payoff from celebrity boyfriend issue) She confesses.

24. INT. Mansion – Night (BIG Moment 1 hr 7min)

Annie and Max…digging into baby issues. Truth coming out. Fears. “Leaderboard of life”. You want to BE Brooks.

25. INT. Mansion – Night

Couple 2 finds egg. Chase ensues all over mansion with all characters over the egg.

26. EXT. CarChase – Night

Egg Breaks, “now they will kill my brother”, Egg Fake, really witness protection list

27. EXT. Bride – Night

Buildup Confrontation- Saving Brother, Brooks confesses to “Always cheating to beat Max, Cheating at game of Life”. Brooks is jealous of Max. Gary(awkward neighbor shows up)”SAVES” them, gets shot, ALL fake. Gary set up the “GAME” to get back at the friends and be invited back to game night. BIG TWIST…REAl/REAL Bad Guys show up. (this was a double twist) now all is really lost….

28. EXT. Car – Night

Max and Annie chase plane, wrecks his dream car to save his brother.

29. EXT – Airstrip – Night

Annie knocks out bad guy, Max climbs into plane, Annie Kills bad guy

30. INT – Plane – Night

Max gets on plane, fights with bad guy to save brother, Annie saves the day… Max-“You’re Amazing” “I WANT to have a Baby”….”That’s FRUIT”…Resolution.

31. INT Brooks new modest apt. – Night

Playing Charades, Annie tells Max…”Bun in the Oven”,

END –Happily Ever After.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Michelle Damis Basic Structure

What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that I think outlining structure feels more natural to me. I tend to be very strategic with business plans and working backwards to create a tangible action list that can actually work in a given timeline. This will be my second script….I wrote the first one from ground zero….but I did a lot of outlining that seemed to really help me progress with clarity.

Tell us your concept in a logline. Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

1. Opening: We meet Ted the Vampire and get to know him (VO background life info), going to a nightclub with a vampire friend. We meet Nina at the same nightclub, learn her “life” thru conversation with friend. (the two characters parallel somewhat)
2. Inciting Incident: Ted comes home to notification of demolition. Parents have an epiphany “anybody” would be better than her…get a tenant so they can afford to pay Ninas rent in the city.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Parents interviewing possible tenants, Ted interviews…and they adore him. Nina is thrilled to get to move out but not happy with their choice, she kinda recognizes him, but can’t put her finger on it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Ted learns he can’t kill landlord or family, starting to become fond…feeling like a family, Nina becoming jealous and suspicious.
5. Mid-Point: Nina discovers Ted is a vampire, goes to her parents, who don’t believe her. One or some of Jim and Marins friends go missing.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Nina confronts Ted, Elder vampires confront Ted-he is cornered.
7. Crisis: Ted wants to protect the family, but he doesn’t want to leave. Marin and Nina go missing. Ted has to tell Jim, Jim asks Ted to turn him to help save his wife and daughter. Ted says No-he promises to save them.
8. Climax: Marin and Nina are tied up together, Why Nina is so angry at her mother comes out after years (explaining her terrible behavior) Things go VERY BAD. Ted has to turn Jim to save them.
9. Resolution choice A.) they are saved and Ted sacrifices himself so that Jim turns back…the family is whole again. B.) they are saved, Ted sacrifices himself to turn Jim back and in doing so his selfless act turns him back to human. C.) they all turn and become a vampire family D.) They all turn, then Ted sacrifices himself to turn them back. They all wake up in their beds…was it a dream?

[Michelle Damis]

PS8 Subject: Michelle Damis Necessary Questions

What I learned doing this assignment is that it is really easy to start overthinking and overanalyzing. You need to remember that you can always change your mind and continue to flesh things out, that changing your mind isn’t the end of the world, you don’t have to start over. And that it is OK to throw out ideas and thoughts as you begin the process and continue to let them take shape.

a. Concept: Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

b. Dramatic Question: How will the family survive living with a Vampire?

c. Main conflict: The daughter and her parents relationship/and the Vampire becoming connected to a family and not wanting to kill humans anymore

d. Dilemma: When the elder vampires attack what will Ted the Vampire decide to do? Fight them and save the family or sacrifice himself? What will the family do? Choose to be turned or sacrifice to save the others?

e. Theme: Family is worth fighting for.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Subject: Michelle Damis Dramatic Plots 2

What I learned doing this is that while a decision may be hard to make, they are designed to simplify work down the road. Also, I hope I’m right in my thinking that you can choose one main plot but still incorporate other plots into the storyline through subtext. Or that in an ensemble you could have one main plot but different characters could have their own plots (which may be why ensemble cast scripts are harder to write)

1. 2 more Potential Plots: Forbidden Love or Sacrifice

2. Original Concept– Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

3. Plot selection and logline–

Quest: Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant who ends up being their savior just as much as they are his.

Temptation: A vampire looking for a place to live ends up finding a conscience instead.

Forbidden Love: A vampire looking for a place to live ends up finding the family that he didn’t know he needed.

Sacrifice: A vampire looking for a place to live ends up finding the family that he didn’t know he needed, but when elder vampires find out he has broken the rules he must decide between saving himself or saving them.

4. I’m going to have to go with QUEST, however, the elements of temptations, forbidden love, and sacrifice will be woven in thru-out.

[Michelle Damis]

<u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>PS80 Subject: Michelle Damis Dramatic Plots 1

What I learned doing this is that there are always options and different directions or points of view that could change or develop your story more fully or more deeply.

1. Quest and Temptation are possible plots

2. Quest = The Vampire on a quest for blood and a dwelling ends up finding a family he didn’t know he even wanted. The parents on a quest to enjoy retirement and have their daughter grow up and be nice have their situation unexpectedly resolved by a vampire. The daughter on her search to grow up and let go of a painful secret also has her situation remedied unexpectedly by a vampire.

Temptation=
This could fit in the sense of the Vampire needing blood by nature but he
discovers his feelings for some humans and decides to not kill anymore and will
therefore have to fight off future temptations.
The parents and/or daughter could be tempted to become a vampire
themselves for a variety of reasons.

[Michelle Damis]

PS80 Michelle Damis Character Structure

What I learned doing this assignment is that planning is essential to stay focused. I’m excited to do the program, have a great script, and then write more. For me being effective with my time is very important and I feel like it will be like paint by numbers in a way: Just take it step by step and you will eventually have a masterpiece.

1. Concept-Parents desperate to be empty-nesters unknowingly trade their soul-sucking 20-something daughter for a blood-sucking tenant.

2. Character Structure– Ensemble Cast (I know, I know….but that is what it is)

3. One sentence on lead characters–

The Dad: Jim is a recently retired grade school principle, beloved by all, and a heart of gold.

The Mom: Marin is a recently retired highly respected public defender that hasn’t gotten along with her daughter for years.

The Daughter: Nina couldn’t find an affordable apartment after graduating college and was forced to move back in with her parents.

The Vampire: Ted is a several hundred year old Vampire looking for a new place to live due to his abandoned building being torn down to make way for fancy condos.

4. In one or two paragraphs, tell us how you see the character structure playing out in your story.

Jim and Marin are at their wits end with their 22 year old daughter, who has had to move back home and is awful to both of them, but especially Marin. When they realize that anyone would be better than her they concoct a scheme to take in a renter and use the money to pay for her to move to the city and look for a job. After a series of odd happenings they eventually figure out their new tenant isn’t what he seems.

Ted the vampire can’t find a new dwelling in the city and resorts to answering “room for rent” ads in the suburbs figuring he will also find a new food source. He finds after he moves in that a vampire cannot kill their landlords (a really old vampire rule) and he becomes very fond of Jim and Marin feeling like he has a family for the first time in hundreds of years. After seeing how Nina treats her parents he decides to try to teach her a lesson and mend the relationship between Nina and Marin.

Nina is thrilled to be out of the house and on her own but soon becomes jealous of Ted the new tenant when she sees how much her parents like him. She sets out to sabotage him but gets an unexpected surprise when Ted confronts her about her parents. Nina also holds a painful secret that is at the root of her behavior towards her mother.

When
elder vampires learn of Teds new situation both Ted and his new “family are all
in grave danger.

[Michelle Damis]

What I learned: As a Fitness Professional as well as Film I appreciated the “interval” training method. I naturally find myself doing similar patterns to get multiple things done in a busy day and feel simultaneously positive about productivity. I learned that this is a valid technique.( I once read an article once that said people get endorphin releases from having a checklist and checking off tasks.) I also appreciated the learning from giving feedback model, in general humans can all benefit from learning to give more thoughtful feedback to others whether it is in the writing world, your work environment, as a parent, or as a partner.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  Michelle Damis.

[Michelle Damis]

Michelle Damis- I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Michelle Damis]

Hi, I’m Michelle Damis. I’m an Actress and Stunt Performer, and Portland Local President SAG-AFTRA.

I completed one script(a pilot) this year, just to see if I could do it and gain some confidence.

I’ve wanted to write for years and have a pretty extensive list of ideas and some interesting IP from a few different sources. I luckily know a lot of people in the industry and if I can just get some stories on paper and completed I think I’ll have an easier time than many due to my contacts.

My unique facts about me…I was a Budweiser girl, I was a competitive Speedskater, I was a pageant girl, I have trophies for shooting guns, I have successfully smelled 6 fires as they were just starting(smouldering etc) and saved the day by encouraging people to call the fire department “just in case”.

[Michelle Damis]

Thank you Bob!

[Michelle Damis]

Julia, I see you are also in fitness(I’ve been an master instructor and presenter for many brands over the years)

[Michelle Damis]

Thank you so much for taking the time! Your feedback is valuable. I do tend to go novelistic a bit, and I’ve already noticed as I reread and edit I slim that down. (But is does help me stay clear on my vision when I’m first writing) As an actor I like when I get “nuggets of info” into a character, and a few of the comments you pointed out are more for the actor to nail the scene. I do foresee I will need to be careful not to overdo it. I appreciate pointing out the suicide inconsistencies. My intention is that they cannot have “intent” in talking their own life(part of the curse) so I need to make sure that is clear. I’ll work on that. Both your feedback and my other reviewer have given me solid ideas.

I will get to yours ASAP. I had surgery on my tongue yesterday and I’m a bit out of sorts.

[Michelle Damis]

Thank you for the feedback. Your suggestion about the timing of 3 “friend” vampires is a very good one. I’m going to explore how I might be able to shift that. Its been interesting seeing how this story evolves. There is so much of my personal life in it (my daughter hates me, and I don’t know why, and literally a vampire would be easier to live with)

BTW the siblings are Ninas grandchildren. I think/hope I have some pretty good twists at the end.

[Michelle Damis]

Posted your feedback under the #7 forum. I think that’s what we are supposed to do.

[Michelle Damis]

Pablo, would you like to exchange feedback? Mine is above. PS.. I was able to copy the 10 pages into a Word document insert all my comments and then repost the 10 pages with my feedback into FORUM #7 (which I believe is where our feedback is to be posted-if I’m doing it correctly)

[Michelle Damis]

Yes. That would be great! Thank you

[Michelle Damis]

Thanks Amy! It was a fun one. Osgood does need to be mostly out of this scene….by the time we get to this scene he has been solely speaking and the focus of 5-8 mins prior and it will go back to him as well. This is Ninas intro near the beginning.

[Michelle Damis]

Hi John, Well right off the bat I loved the imagery of the chihuahuas, that was Brilliant!

Your scene had a good quick pace and a nice touch of whimsey and wonder of what was going to happen. I haven’t read your pieces prior, so I don’t have prior history with your project. I wish you continued progress and if you are so inclined my scene is posted below should you choose to read and comment.

Thank you,

Michelle

[Michelle Damis]

Hi Bob, I read your scene. My first thought was I wondered if you usually a book author. I know for myself I am always challenged with trimming down to the essential. My second draft is usually half the words as my first. You have a historical piece and lots of details so you might find it challenging. I’m an actress so I also “act out” /”say” the dialogue and see how natural it is, or if I have too much fluff…etc… The challenge is the least amount of words to get your point across thats why this section of our learning is so important. I’ve been having a blast with my new HUGE thesaurus. You come across as a very thoughtful, methodical writer with a meaningful story to tell. Working in the industry for years I’ve heard producers and such say time and time again “less is more”, this applies to an actor over-acting as much as a writer over-writing. Personally, I’m new as a writer and have my issues (my punctuation is atrocious) and I’m going to need LOTS of proofing. I hope my feedback came across with the sincerity I meant. And my scene is below if you are so inclined to read and comment.

Best,

Michelle

[Michelle Damis]

Hi Jodi, This really is such a timely piece (I hope you are able to shop the idea while you are in the writing process to get it on someones radar!)

Jennifer McKay gave you Awesome feedback and I agreed with a lot of it. I think it is very important to establish the current governor earlier, and make the audience despise him.

The other big thing is that I too see Elizabeth as the 3rd part of the triangle not Chole. I’dd love to continue watching this story evolve. My email is michelledamis@yahoo.com , that may be easier to communicate rather than this 200 comment thread.

PS as an actress and someone that is probably running for mayor of my city I’d love to play Pam… LOL!

[Michelle Damis]

Thank you Amy! If you still need feedback on yours please send to my email michelledamis@yahoo.com. This string is getting so long it is hard to find stuff!

[Michelle Damis]

Janeen do you still need feedback, would you like to exchange?

[Michelle Damis]

I’m wondering if you even have to lock or mention the year or even that they came from different times. I think that is obvious when he runs into another version of himself, especially if you reference a time travel mishap. But I think you are for sure getting closer! Good Luck!

[Michelle Damis]

Thank you for some good food for thought- I will take it to heart for sure!. And yes my SLW didn’t have all the details that I saw other have. (I thought it was supposed to be a couple sentence quick best-not too detailed yet) When I’m told to keep it brief- I do- I’ve seen way too many emails not get read and scripts get tossed for being too much and too wordy!

[Michelle Damis]

No problem. After reviewing what you have done so far and reviewing the feedback you already received I have to agree with everything already suggested to you. I was going to suggest the same thing Quincy did. Overall I think you have a really strong SWL and great characters and premise, I’m excited to see this be polished, as it truly is a gem.

[Michelle Damis]

Pablo would you like to swap feedback if you still need to get your three in?

[Michelle Damis]

Amy,

Thank you again for your feedback on mine, now I’m returning the favor. First off I’m a fan of time travel genre and working thru all the logic.

I really like the idea and most of the story web logic is really solid and logical. The only thing I’m really stuck on is Andreas change in appearance and her being Joanie when she returns. Because you have a lot of leeway with reality in this type of story I believe there could be a really easy and fun way to make a bit more sense with this one element. For example, could the supercollider have just rearranged the expression of her DNA which results in her looking different? Therefore her appearance changes both times she time travels. This could allow you to have some fun with making her even more beautiful on one of the trips and making her plain Jane or ugly on the other trip. I hope this gives you some ideas that will let you have even more fun writing! I believe the more fun you have the more fun the audience will eventually have!

I look forward to seeing your story develop over the coming months.

[Michelle Damis]

Erin, What a fun start, here are some of my thoughts/feedback. I adore time travel themes, and love thinking about the logic of them.

Logline: Tighten up anywhere you can. If you start with. “A time-travel mishap pairs… I think you could shorten the rest. In addition leading with the fact that its time travel in the first few words could be helpful in attracting your audience. PS I ended up flipping my logline around on Day 8 assignment.

Characters: Since it is in the future and “the future is female” (according to some) perhaps more female characters would be appropriate. I feel like most time travel films are about males traveling, so going female could be a great way to set it apart.

I had some of the same questions as Amy F. in her feedback to you , especially “why” the change in Dick. Something really clever to explain the change would certainly elevate the story.

You have the opportunity for some really interesting/fun twists with time travel and multiple “Richards” I’d like to see you really blow peoples minds in that area.

If you are planning on having it be more comedic I suggest you watch “Multiplicity” with Micheal Keaton for some inspiration and of course a good laugh.

I look forward to seeing how this develops. Thank you in advance for your feedback on mine!

[Michelle Damis]

Thank you Amy F. for the feedback. I was trying to keep my 9 beats brief and of course will clarify more as we get into writing scenes. Do you still need feedback on yours?