[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Misdirecting the Audience

What I learned is…to consider where I can infuse some misdirects, but to use them sparingly. I think there is still opportunity for me to use this more effectively.

The Red Herring character – the red herring is the protagonist. For each murder, she does not have an alibi and has motive for each one. Is she really the killer?

The Villain’s plan – we don’t understand the villain’s motive until the climax scene, so by not understanding that he does have a motive, we don’t see him as a suspect.

The cover-up for each mystery present as a reality –

Mystery #1- who is killing those closest to Griffin? Is Griffin the killer?

Mystery #2 – who was the original serial killer? Seeing as Ennis and Boyd received an award for trying to ‘save’ a victim, we don’t consider them suspects.

Mystery #3 – Did Griffin’s dad know that Boyd was a murderer? We don’t know Boyd was the original murderer until late and it’s only in the end that Griffin puts the puzzle together and why Adam is murdering.

Opportunities:

Clue Misdirection – detectives feel that Graham is too eager to let them talk with staff, as if he’s hiding something.

Character Misdirection – could make Griffin’s friend more suspicious, someone that might be hiding something.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Engaging Clue Trails

What I learned is…mapping out clues and making sure they are the right kind of clues, elevates the script. It’s going to ensure your audience doesn’t either become frustrated or solve the mysteries it too easily.

MYSTERY #1:

Who is killing those closest to Griffin?

END RESULT: After receiving a heart from a serial killer, Adam becomes a murderer.

CLUES:

Ann mentions to Griffin that Adam and his wife thought she was rude to Griffin and that Ann should apologize. <div>

Adam is conflicted about being discharged from the hospital, which he now sees as home.

Why is the transplant surgeon avoiding Griffin? Why won’t he explain why he used the unapproved medication during surgery?

The transplant surgeon gives a talk about using genetic cell therapy during procedures.

At Ann’s funeral, the priest reads a bible passage from Corinthians known as “They Mystery of Resurrection.”

Ennis is at Ann’s funeral.

Detectives: someone skilled with a knife committed Ann’s murder.

Detectives: someone who was familiar with navigating the hospital committed Ann’s murder.

During his clinic visit, Adam sees Lillian and Griffin fight.

Cellular memory is vaguely talked about during Adam’s clinic visit as to why he might be craving different foods.

Lillian and Graham talk on the phone about firing Griffin right before Lillian is killed.

A medical assistant witnessed Lillian and Griffin fighting.

Griffin’s friend has a little too much knowledge about serial killers and moved to the community purposely.

When Hank arrives to do the surgical consult on Adam, he sees Hank and Griffin have words, as do other staff members.

Mollie breaks down because Adam is acting so different.

MYSTERY #2:

Who was the original serial killer that plagued the community?

END RESULT:

Boyd, Ennis’ best friend is the original serial killer.

CLUES:

Ennis and Boyd receive a Citizen’s Award for trying to save one of the victim’s of the serial killer.

Ennis brings Griffin to the spot where he tried to save the girl. He mentions that there is no good fishing there after midnight because of the tree cover.

While thanking Griffin for saving his life, Hank mentions something about being at “the right place at the right time.”

Griffin remembers the newscaster’s interview that the woman was found at 1:30a and Ennis’ advice about not fishing at the spot after midnight, where she realizes they weren’t there to fish.

MYSTERY #3:

Did the people in Griffin’s life, including her dad, know that Boyd was a murderer?

END RESULT:

Ennis knew but kept it a secret out of loyalty because Boyd saved his life. Griffin’s mom and Boyd’s wife suspected and/or knew.

CLUES:

Boyd’s wife offhandedly mentions that “some secrets are better left untold.”

Boyd’s wife flinches when the social worker touches her.

Boyd’s wife has a slight sigh of relief when she hears that Boyd is dead.

Ennis is fierce about his code of loyalty – “blood might make you related, but loyalty makes you family.”

Griffin’s mom packed away a box marked “Stuff for Griffin” before she passed away. In it is the VHS tape with the newscaster interviewing Ennis after her received the Mayor’s Award, an interview Griffin has memorized enough to recite, includes the fact that the Ennis and Boyd were fishing at 1:30a and came upon the victim at the fishing spot.

Griffin later takes the VHS tape out of the box and a note from her mother falls out that calls Griffin inquisitive, says she’s sorry, and to make her proud.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Reveals

What I learned is…to carefully consider what a reveal is and how to craft them within my story. The explanation between exposition and reveals was simplistic and, more importantly, eye-opening. That reveals are vitally important to engaging the audience.

REVEAL 1:

Mystery: Why did Boyd and Ennis receive the Mayor’s Citizen Award?

Mystery: Why did Boyd’s wife almost seemed relieved that he was dead?

Suspense: Why did Ennis bring Griffin to the fishing spot?

Mystery: Why did Griffin’s mom leave her a note in the VHS tape from Ennis’ news interview?

Suspense: Griffin confronts her dad asking if he was the serial killer.

Reveal: Boyd attacked the woman at fishing spot. Ennis came after the attack. In order to cover it up, they made up a story about how they tried to save the woman.

REVEAL 2:

Intrigue: Did Adam receive Boyd’s heart?

Reveal: Boyd’s heart was implanted into Adam.

REVEAL 3:

Intrigue: Why is the heart transplant surgeon refusing to talk with Griffin?

Reveal: The transplant surgeon’s use of the unapproved medication is accelerating cellular memory causing Adam to become a serial killer.

REVEAL 4:

Mystery: In front of everyone, Ann is rude to Griffin in Adam’s room. Griffin blows it off as high school stuff.

Mystery: Ann and Griffin end up at the same bar together.

REVEAL: During a high school slumber party, Ann cut off another girl’s hair and Griffin turned her in.

REVEAL 5:

Mystery: Ann was Adam’s nurse. Ann mentions Adam told her she was rude and should apologize to Griffin.

Mystery: Adam sees/hears Lillian and Griffin fighting and Lillian telling her she won’t protect her any longer.

Intrigue: Somebody is watching Lillian on the phone with the CEO, watching her while on her walk, before attacks her.

Suspense: Detective’s arrest Griffin for the murders.

Reveal: Adam murdered Griffin’s colleagues.

REVEAL 6:

Mystery: Graham is secretly meeting with someone from Spring Health about an acquisition of the hospital.

Mystery: The Spring Health person is meeting with the heart transplant surgeon and talking with him about becoming CEO.

Mystery: Graham threatens the Spring Health person.

Suspense: Did the Spring Health person kill Graham? Did the heart transplant surgeon kill him?

REVEAL: After Graham’s death, the merger with Spring Health goes through and the heart transplant surgeon is appointed CEO.

REVEAL 7:

Mystery: Callie knew about the town’s murderous history and seems a little overly intrigued about it. Is Callie the killer?

REVEAL: Callie is attacked by Adam but she gets away. She is not the killer.

REVEAL 8:

Mystery: Boyd’s wife seems relieved he’s dead. She flinches when the Social Worker touches her.

Intrigue: Ennis keeps his Mayor’s Award hung on a wall.

Mystery: Griffin’s mom leaves her a confusing note in the VHS tape that has Ennis’ news interview when he gets the Mayor’s award.

Intrigue: Ennis tells Griffin there is no good fishing at the spot after midnight because of the trees.

Intrigue: The news reporter mentions that the men were fishing at 2 am.

Suspense: After Griffin receives a Mayor’s Award for saving Hank, she remembers the newscaster’s interview and confronts her Ennis.

Suspense: Is Ennis the serial killer?

Reveal: Boyd was the serial killer and Ennis helped him cover up the death.

Intrigue: Who else knew? Did Boyd’s wife and Griffin’s mom also know? Suspect?

REVEAL 9:

Intrigue: Griffin knows that Adam received Boyd’s heart.

Mystery: At Adam’s clinic appointment, they talk about the possible reasons for his behavior change.

Reveal: Griffin believes the surgeon’s use of the medication, Boyd’s heart, and cellular memory spurred Adam’s behavior change.

• This reply was modified 3 years ago by  Michelle Donnelly.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Trust Relationships

What I learned doing this assignment is: creating more complex characters (which will lead to more complex situations where it’s not always clear what the truth is), will help elevate suspense and mystery.

1. Make a list of the main characters.

Hero: Griffin

Villain: Adam

Red Herring Character: Griffin

Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Ennis
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Hank

2. With each character, ask these questions:

A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?

Griffin: trustable

Adam: trustable

Ennis: trustable

Hank: untrustable

B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?

Griffin: she appears trustable, but also doesn’t have alibi’s, has possible motives and know how to murder her colleagues.

Adam: doesn’t appear to have a motive early on and so you wouldn’t think it would be him. Only later do we understand his motives.

Ennis: He’s an older man and while he and Griffin get along, you wouldn’t expect him to cover for a serial killer.

Hank: prototypical egotistical surgeon

C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?

Griffin: hitting rock bottom after being fired and arrested.

Adam: being effected by the receiving the heart of a serial killer.

Ennis: Boyd saved his life when they were in the Army. His code of loyalty is greater than telling the truth.

Hank: He genuinely cares about his patients.

3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.

Hero / Villain: Griffin/Adam

TRUST: Griffin is Adam’s cardiologist

TRUST: Adam tells Griffin how he owes his life to her.

DISTRUST: Adam’s behavior is changing. He fights with Mollie at his clinic appointment with Griffin.

Hero / Red Herring Character: Griffin

TRUST: Griffin has returned home to take care of her father after her mother’s death.

TRUST: She loves her job and taking care of patients.

DISTRUST: Griffin and Ann have a public fight, and clearly have a broken relationship.

DISTRUST: Griffin fights with Lillian about harassing the heart transplant surgeon. Lillian says she’s going to stop protecting Griffin and let the CEO possibly fire her.

DISTRUST: Early on, detectives narrow in on Griffin as a suspect, or at least that she knows more than what she says.

Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Griffin/Ennis

TRUST: Ennis received a Mayor’s Award for trying to save a girl who had been attacked by a serial killer.

DISTRUST: He talks about the importance of loyalty over doing what’s right.

DISTRUST: He admonishes Griffin for having turned in her best friend because it wasn’t something a loyal friend would do.

DISTRUST: Ennis takes Griffin to the spot where years before he tried to save the girl.

Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Griffin/Hank

DISTRUST: Hank gets into it with Griffin about Griffin harassing the transplant surgeon.

DISTRUST: He gets upset that Griffin is going to be doing his cards consult

TRUST: He does Adam’s surgery for his appendicitis.

TRUST: He tells the detectives that Griffin is not the killer

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Twists and Turns

What I learned doing this assignment is defining and planning for Twists is more difficult than I expected. It was a great assignment, though, to get me thinking about how to incorporate.<div>

Twist 1:

Direction: Boyd and Ennis receive a Mayor’s Award for trying to save a victim of a serial killer.

Twist: Boyd was the serial killer and Ennis helped him to cover it up.

Twist 2:

Direction: Ann, Adam’s nurse, enters Adam’s room and snaps at Griffin in front of Adam and Griffin’s medical team about not calling her into the room to round on the patient with the team.

Twist: Ann and Griffin are former best friends who had a falling out after Griffin turned her in for cutting off a girl’s hair at a slumber party when they were young.

Twist 3:

Direction: Griffin tells Lillian she won’t regret helping her get the job at the hospital

Twist: Griffin was fired from her last job.

Twist 4:

Direction: The hospital CEO talks with someone from Spring Health about the Board being nervous about the killings because Spring Health is hoping to take over the hospital.

Twist: The person from Spring Health throws the hospital CEO under the bus when he talks with the heart transplant about taking the CEO role.

Twist 5:

Direction: Griffin is trying to get the heart transplant surgeon to tell her about his use of a certain medication during Adam’s heart transplant.

Twist: The heart transplant surgeon has used a medication not approved for use during a transplant.

Twist 6:

Direction: The police suspect Griffin of being the murderer. She doesn’t have alibi’s and has motive.

Twist: Her patient received the heart of a serial killer and is the one killing.

Twist 7:

Direction: As she goes to save Hank after Adam has abducted him, Griffin initially makes Adam believe she will help him kill Hank.

Twist: She has only made him believe she will help him kill Hank so she can save Hank.

</div>

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Thriller Plot

What I learned is…how important it is to include the elements (life threatening, mystery, villain’s plan) into the structure of the story, how this deepens the story, and how it will help create a solid thriller.<div>

OPENING: Terrible car accident.

Life Threatening 1: Boyd is brain dead. </div><div>

Life Threatening 2: Doctors talk to his wife about organ donation.

Villain’s Plan: Boyd is the serial killer who has been plaguing the community for years by targeting vulnerable people. After he dies, his heart is transplanted into Adam.

INCITING INCIDENT: Griffin’s former best friend is murdered.

Life Threatening 1: Griffin publicly fights with her. </div><div>

Life Threatening 2: Griffin was the last person to see her alive.

Life Threatening 3: Detectives begin to suspect Griffin is involved.

Mystery 1: Griffin and her former best friend get into a tiff in front of Adam.

Mystery 2: Why were Griffin and her former best friend fighting?

Mystery 3: Griffin drives her former best friend home because she had too much to drink. Was she the last person to see her alive or did she have something to do with her murder?

Villain’s Plan: Adam sees Griffin and her former best friend fight. He has been admitted to the hospital so often he knows the hospital, it’s gossip, and knows hospital security is weak. He kills the former best friend.

TURNING POINT 1: Griffin’s mentor is murdered.

Life Threatening 1: During a meeting with her mentor, it is mentioned that she was fired from her last job and the mentor stuck out her neck for her to get this job. </div><div>

Life Threatening 2: Griffin and her mentor fight because she is harassing the heart transplant surgeon.

Life Threatening 3: The mentor and the hospital CEO talk about firing Griffin.

Mystery 1: Why was Griffin fired from her last job?

Mystery 2: Why did the heart transplant surgeon administer the drug he did during Adam’s surgery?

Villain’s plan: He kills the mentor so she won’t recommend firing Griffin.

MIDPOINT: Adam’s wife Mollie breaks down over Adam’s change in behavior.

Life Threatening 1: The heart transplant surgeon ignores Griffin’s request for answers about a medication given during Adam’s heart transplant. </div><div>

Life Threatening 2: Adam is admitted to the hospital very ill.

Life Threatening 3: Hank, the surgeon who is going to operate on Adam, and Griffin have a tense interaction.

Mystery 1: Why is Adam’s behavior changing?

Villain’s Plan: Cellular memory – the theory that memories are stored outside the brain and in all of a person’s living cells. Adam has received a serial killers heart/cells.

TURNING POINT 2: Griffin is charged with murder.

Life Threatening 1: The CEO is murdered. </div><div>

Life Threatening 2: Will Griffin be fired because she is being accused of murder?

Mystery 1: Did Griffin kill anyone?

Mystery 2: If Griffin didn’t kill anyone, who is?

Villain’s Plan: not to be uncovered as the real killer.

CLIMAX: Adam abducts Hank, Griffin finds them and is able to save Hank.

Life threatening 1: Griffin goes to save Hank. She is in danger of being killed as well. </div><div>

Villain’s Plan: Abduct and kill Hank.

RESOLUTION: Griffin confronts her father about keeping the secret that Boyd was a serial killer.

Life Threatening 1: Why were Boyd and Griffin’s father at the fishing spot after midnight if Griffin’s father told her there was no good fishing there after midnight? </div>

Life Threatening 2: Boyd and Griffin’s father receive a Mayor’s award for trying to save one of the victim’s of the serial killers.

Life Threatening 3: Griffin’s father takes her to the fishing spot where he tried to save the victim of the serial killer years before.

Mystery 1: Who killed the string of homeless people and sex workers in the community over the years?

Mystery 2: Why did Boyd’s wife act odd when she learned of his death?

Mystery 3: Why did Griffin’s mom leave her a cryptic note in the box with the videotape of the newscaster interviewing her father?

Villain’s Plan: Boyd was a psychopathic serial killer. His friends and family suspected but never turned him in.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Life Threatening Sequence

What I learned is…how to hone in on the situations I’m writing and the importance of increasing the stakes throughout.<div>

What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?

Adam’s plan is to murder those closest to Griffin. It puts Griffin in danger because: is she next?

What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

Death of her or others around her. As the detectives narrow in on her as a suspect, will she be arrested for murder and lose her job and her livelihood?

From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.

Physical danger – she could be next
Closeness to the villain
Trapped / Abducted / Arrested
Danger to someone they know
People around them die or are injured.
The unknown
Something that damages their reputation

Public humiliation.
Loss of a job or career.
Betrayal from someone close.
Someone operating covertly around them.
Other parties who need to solve the mystery first.<div>

Sequence those dangers in order and make a list like the one I did for Basic Instinct above.

1. Boyd and Ennis are given a Mayor’s award for trying to save the victim of a serial killer.

2. Boyd is involved in a horrible car accident. Doctors know he is brain dead. Doctors talk to his wife about organ donation.

3. During a meeting with her mentor, it is mentioned that the mentor got Griffin the job and that she was fired from her last job. She’s already on thin ice with her job.

4. Griffin publicly fights with her former best friend in front of Adam who is about to receive a heart from a serial killer.

5. Griffin’s former best friend is found murdered. Griffin was the last person to see her alive.

6. Detectives question Griffin and are concerned about her history with the victim and the fight they had.

7. Griffin’s father takes her fishing at the spot where he tried to save the victim of the serial killer years before.

8. The heart transplant surgeon ignores Griffin’s request for answers about a medication given during Adam’s heart transplant. Will he be the next victim?

9. Griffin and her mentor fight. Her mentor ends up dead that night.

10. Before the mentor is killed, she and the hospital CEO talk about firing Griffin for harassing the heart transplant surgeon.

11. Adam is admitted to the hospital very ill with what turns out to be appendicitis.

12. Hank, the surgeon who will operate on Adam has a tense interaction with Griffin.

13. The CEO is paged to come to the hospital for an emergency. Later, he is found there murdered.

14. Detectives bring in Griffin for questioning. Due to lack of evidence, they have to release her.

15. Adams abducts Hank and plans on killing him.

16. Griffin has figured out that Adam is the killer and that he intends Hank to be his next victim.

17. Griffin goes to save Hank. While trying to save him, Griffin is in danger of being killed as well.

18. Griffin confronts her dad after figuring out that he didn’t end up at the crime scene because he was fishing. She finds out that Boyd was a serial killer.

</div></div>

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s Mystery Sequence

What I learned is…being methodical about setting up the mysteries and the steps to setting them up throughout the story.

What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?

• Adam is covering up that he is murdering people close to Griffin.

How many ways can they cover that secret?

• No one suspects Adam because he does not appear to have a motive. With the focus on Griffin, Adam can easily cover up the murders.

The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.

• Griffin’s former best friend dies.
• Griffin and her former best friend publicly argued.
• Griffin was the last person to see her alive and she has no one to vouch for her alibi.
• Detectives immediately suspect her.

Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.

• The Red Herring in the mystery is Griffin; whether she is innocent or not because she did have motive to murder her colleagues.

Main Mystery: Who is killing those closest to Griffin?

• The first victim and Griffin get into a noticeable tiff in front of Adam.

• The first victim used to be Griffin’s best friend before she turned her in for violently bullying another student.

• Griffin and the first victim end up at the same bar together and fight in front of others.

• Griffin drives the first victim home because she’s had too much to drink, making her the last person who saw the victim alive.

• The second victim is Griffin’s mentor. While talking it is mentioned that Griffin had to leave her last job and that the mentor helped Griffin get the job at the hospital so she can be near her father after her mother’s death.

• Griffin ‘harasses’ the surgeon who did Adam’s heart transplant trying to get answers as to why he administered a certain drug during the procedure.

• The mentor and Griffin argue in the clinic about Griffin harassing the surgeon. Both Adam and a clinic assistant witness the argument.

• The hospital CEO asks the mentor’s recommendation about firing Griffin.
• The mentor is found dead the next day.
•

The hospital CEO gives a press conference that is picked up by the local television station.

• The hospital CEO is found murdered

Mystery #2: Did Griffin’s dad, Ennis, know that his best friend was a murderer?

• Boyd was Ennis’ best friend.

• They both received a Mayor’s Award for trying to ‘save’ a woman who had been attacked at their local fishing spot. That woman ended up dying.

• Griffin knows that Adam received Boyd’s heart.
• Ennis takes Griffin to the spot where the attack happened saying there is good fishing there but don’t fish after midnight because the trees cover the moonlight.

• Griffin’s mom leaves her a box of things. In the box is the videotape of a local newscaster interviewing Ennis after he received the Mayor’s award. Griffin finds a note from her mother that she doesn’t understand where her mother calls her “inquisitive” and seems to indicate she’s sorry about something.

• After it is revealed that Adam is the murderer, Griffin remembers the newscaster saying that it was 2:00am when Boyd and Ennis were fishing and ‘found’ the female victim.

• Griffin confronts her dad about why they were actually at the fishing spot after midnight if there was no good fishing after midnight.

Mystery #3: Who was the original serial killer that plagued the community?

• A string of homeless people and sex workers have been killed in the community over the years.

• Boyd and Ennis both received a Mayor’s Award for trying to ‘save’ a woman who had been attacked at their local fishing spot. That woman ended up dying.

• After watching a news interview with her father when he received the Mayor’s Award, it is mentioned that Boyd and Ennis found the woman around 2 am while they were fishing.

• Boyd’s wife seems relieved when she is told he has died.
• Griffin saves Adam’s next victim and uncovers him to be the most recent murderer.

• After she receives a Mayor’s Award for saving Adam’s last victim, she pieces together the newscaster interview and her father saying no good fishing happens after midnight.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Adam has a great plan

What I learned is…the importance of driving the story through the villain’s plan, not the hero’s goal. By considering and describing the villain’s plan, I am in a much better position to ramp up mystery, intrigue, and suspense by withholding information and then providing reveals as the story progresses.

What is the end goal? Through cellular memory our villain has been altered by receiving the heart of a psychopathic serial killer. His goal is to kill.

How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way?

– Having spent so much time in the hospital, Adam has learned who his cardiologist’s (Griffin) enemies are and what her routines are. Using this he can easily frame her. <div>

– In some ways, our secondary villain (Boyd) has accomplished his goal in the most devious way possible. To continue to kill even after his death by ‘taking over’ the personality of Adam. During his life, he accomplished this by killing people during war and then by targeting drug addicts and sex workers (executing the ‘perfect’ crime starts with picking the ‘perfect’ victim).

How can they cover it up?

– Adam knows the hospital and the small community. He knows hospital security is weak. </div><div>

– He knows Griffin’s flaws and who she has conflicts with.

– He knows he can execute his crimes without bringing suspicion onto himself since he theoretically has no motive.

Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible.

– Know enough about the hospital and Griffin to learn about the hospital gossip. </div>

– The first murder is a nurse who fought publicly with Griffin.

– The second murder is Griffin’s mentor who was going to recommend she be fired.

– The third murder was the CEO no one likes, who was going to be the one to fire Griffin.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle’s SOTL Stacking Suspense:

Things I learned about writing stronger thrillers:

The value of getting the audience invested – this film does an amazing job at respecting the audience and inviting us along to solve the crime. The FBI hasn’t figured out who Buffalo Bill is and are bringing in a FBI agent in trainee (someone who we feel we can relate to and root for more than an experienced FBI agent).

Having a villain who we feel conflicted about –

Hannibal is pure evil, yet he becomes more human because of his connection to Clarice. In a twisted way he becomes her teacher and protective over her.
There is also some feeling of karmic eventuality that we find some twisted satisfaction about how the movie ends with Chilton most likely being Hannibal’s his next victim.<div>

Having the main character’s need make them vulnerable to this particular situation – Clarice’s desire to stop her nightmare’s by saving someone since she wasn’t able to save the lamb puts in a vulnerable situation as she becomes invested emotionally in saving Catherine.

Side note: While watching Basic Instinct and reading the breakdown, I also followed along with the script as I find it helpful to see the stage directions and visualize. It is fascinating to (attempt) to follow along to the script for SOTL. The version I was able to find on the internet is radically different, but in ways that make the film the classic that it is today. From a screenwriting perspective, it feels like everything we are learning now. In learning how less is more – how holding back information can build suspense. The script reads more like a novel with much more being handed to the audience instead of pieces of information being held back.

</div>

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle Donnelly’s BI Stacking Suspense:

Things I learned about thrillers:

– Every scene should have elements that move the story forward and that bring about questions, suspicion, intrigue.

– Every scene should be connected to what’s happening next and what happened before.

– We learn most about the characters through how they act and react to situations.

– Planting a question/mystery and subsequently revealing the answer later (and even planting another question). For example – who is Hazel Dobkins? Then finding out two scenes later that she killed her own family, which only adds another question/mystery about whether she is somehow involved and whether that is pertinent to our story.

– The character’s moral flaws make them susceptible in a particular story – Nick relapsing into his addictions make him reckless and more readily available to be manipulated by Catherine and Beth.

– A multidimensional villain – even as sociopathic as Catherine seems, she appears to breakdown over Roxy’s death; she also seems to have a genuine relationship with Hazel Dobkins. If Beth is doing this, is it over anguish from being a jilted lover? We get the sense that both Catherine and Beth have been through life altering events that have lead them to how they are now.

– The stakes are high for more than just the main character.

– While some losses seem to be karmic (Nilsan), there are also tragic losses along the way (Gus).

– Everyone is a suspect.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle Donnelly – Creating World/Characters with M.I.S.

What I learned doing this assignment: to infuse M.I.S. into every character and your world will strengthen your goal of making a story that is a thriller.

1) CONCEPT and the BIG M.I.S.:

Concept: A cardiologist must uncover who is murdering her colleagues before either she herself is murdered or the police wrongly accuse her of their murders. <div>

<div>

Big Mystery: Who is killing those closest to the cardiologist?

<div>

Big Intrigue: That a heart from a man unknown to be a serial killer was transplanted upon his death into a man whose personality is now becoming altered from the effects of cellular memory.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Big Suspense: Will the cardiologist be able to find who the killer is before more people die or before she is murdered?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>WORLD: A community hospital that, in order to survive, is facing a merger with a for profit health system.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>HERO: Griffin

Mystery: Why are the people closest to Griffin dying? </div><div>

Intrigue : Left her last job under mysterious circumstances and is in danger of losing this job as well.

Suspense: Will the detectives formally arrest Griffin for the murder of her colleagues? Will the actual killer kill Griffin?

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>VILLAIN: Adam

Mystery: Why is his personality changing after receiving a heart transplant? </div>

I<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ntrigue: Does cellular memory actually have the ability to effect changes in a heart transplant recipient enough to cause them to become a serial killer?

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Suspense: Will he continue to kill those around Griffin? Will he kill Griffin?

<div>

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>SUPPORTING CHARACTER: Ennis, Griffin’s father. Was best friends with the now dead serial killer.

Mystery : Did he know that his best friend was a serial killer? </div>

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Intrigue: Along with the now dead serial killer, Ennis received a Mayor’s Award for trying to ‘save’ one of the victims.

<i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Suspense: Did Ennis take part in the serial murders?

</div></div>

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michelle Donnelly’s Big M.I.S.

What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that explicitly stating the mystery, intrigue, and suspense helped to frame the story.

Logline:

A cardiologist must uncover who is murdering her colleagues before either she herself is murdered or the police wrongly accuse her of their murders.

What are the conventions of my story –

Unwitting and Resourceful Hero: Griffin, a cardiologist, who realizes she must work to find the killer who is murdering her colleagues before she herself is murdered or before detectives arrest her for their deaths. She begins to suspect the murderer is one of her heart transplant patients.

Dangerous Villain: Adam, Griffin’s patient, who unknowingly received a heart transplant from a serial killer and who is now murdering the cardiologist’s colleagues after the effects of cellular memory have altered his personality.

High Stakes: Griffin being wrongly accused of murder or being murdered, more colleagues dying

Life and Death Situations: Detectives wrongly suspect Griffin, she possibly losing her job/career because of being wrongly suspected; more colleagues dying; Griffin figuring out that the person who died and donated the heart was a friend of her father’s and had been responsible for a series of murders throughout the years. Also, the effects of Adam’s change on his family.

This story is thrilling because? Because the murders had long been unsolved for the community and the fact that the evil is living on through another person.

The Big M.I.S.

Big Mystery: Who is killing those closest to the cardiologist?

Big Intrigue: That a heart was transplanted into a patient from a man who had never been uncovered as a serial killer and the effects of cellular memory are now altering the personality of the heart transplant recipient.

Big Suspense: Will the cardiologist be able to figure out not only who the killer is, but what is making him kill, before more people die or before she is murdered or charged with her colleague’s murders.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Michelle Donnelly.

[Michelle Donnelly]

Michael Clayton – Analyzing the conventions of a thriller.

What I learned doing this assignment is – I learned to critically analyze how a film develops situations and characters that continually and increasingly creates suspense and intrigue throughout.

• Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Michael Clayton, a ‘fixer’ lawyer whose debt to a loan shark tests his moral courage as he tries to help his good friend and fellow lawyer, Arthur.

• Dangerous Villain: U-north – Karen and Don Jeffries who are willing to kill in order to keep their secret that they knew their weed killer was dangerous and responsible for 468 deaths so they can win the multimillion dollar class action law suit against them.

• High stakes: Michael Clayton’s financial well-being, his job, his life; Arthur’s mental health and life; a multimillion dollar class action law suit against U-North; the law firm’s merger and future will be threatened if they blow the law suit for U-North.

• Life and death situations: Michael Clayton’s car blows up in an attempt to kill him; Michael Clayton owing a loan shark money, contract killers bugging Arthur’s apartment and following, then killing Arthur; U-North covering up and possibly getting away with the deaths of 468 people.

• This movie is thrilling because? We are continually worried for Arthur and Michael’s safety; further we are worried whether Michael will uncover the truth, whether he will have the moral courage to do the right thing, and then whether he can actually expose what the huge and powerful conglomerate of U-North has done.

What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story?

• Big Mystery: What is U-North covering up that contributed to Arthur having a mental breakdown over the case?

• Big Intrigue: The U-North/Karen cover-up and what they are willing to do to keep the secret that they knew for years that their weed killer was dangerous and responsible for 468 deaths including, hiring contract killers to kill Arthur and then doing what they need to do to keep that death a secret as well, in order to win the class action lawsuit.

• Big Suspense: Will Michael Clayton uncover the U-North secret that Arthur had managed to uncover? Further, will he do the right thing and expose the truth about the coverup and about Arthur’s death before the contract killers kill him.

Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great thriller? While the movie was nonstop with reveals and mysteries to be answered, even more, I liked that I became invested in these characters that were realistically flawed and facing moral dilemmas which left us wondering whether they would do the right thing and whether ‘good’ would trump ‘evil’.

[Michelle Donnelly]

1. Michelle Donnelly

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If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.

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• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Michelle Donnelly.