[Mi Lock]

Insights/ Breakthroughs:

I love having an underdog character who fights for their dream and ends up as a hero, impacting their world.

The main character in the script I’m currently reviewing is an underdog and the main character in a new script (for a feature length) is also an underdog. In Rudy : he experiences that ending scene in an extraordinary and unique way, it’s so inspiring, I will keep that in mind.

[Mi Lock]

1st watch: How does the character accomplish the following:

– Fitting ending based upon who they have been:

I haven’t watched the movie so according to the synopsis, Rudy went through a lot of obstacles (including the lack of money to study and his physical stature) and rejection but he never gave up on his dream to become a football player for Notre Dame. He worked very hard and has played in practice with more heart than any other player. In that scene, he achieves his dream.

– They experience the end in their own unique way:

First, Rudy gets the support from all his teammates and the fans who heard about his story start to chant “Rudy” in the stadium to get him on the field. When he gets the chance to play, he runs to the field cheered up and shows gratitude, he also shows his skills and succeeds to stop an opponent. He then get carried off the field on his teammates’ shoulders with the cheers of all the audience. That’s a beautiful victory!

– This brings their journey to a conclusion:

Rudy achieved his dream by finally getting a chance to play a game in his dream team and he also proved he was a great football player by stopping a quarterback from the opponent team. His teammates and the audience all cheer him up, he ends that journey with victory at a very high level.

2nd watch:

– What makes these characters engaging?

Knowing what he went through and how nice he seems to be, we can only root for him and hope he can achieve his dream.

He seems really loved by his teammates and coach (except for one coach). Rudy is amazed and surprised by all the support of the audience who chants his name.

His teammates even plan to mark so they can bring Rudy on the field. I love the moment when a teammate touches Rudy’s helmet with so much affection.

He proves that everyone should follow their dreams whatever the obstacles are, it’s so inspiring.

– How are they expressing their profile?

– Traits: Rudy looks grateful, hopeful, generous, caring and kind.

– Living into their future: He’s achieving his dream of being a football player for Notre Dame.
Right character: He began his journey with many handicaps including the lack of physical stature that is usually required to become a football player (he’s way smaller) and he didn’t have the money to study in that college. He is the regular guy whose dream seems impossible to reach but he will fight for it. <div>

– Secret and reveal: In the plot I read, his best friend got killed in a mill explosion, therefore bringing fire to Rudy to not give up on his dream.
Wounds: he’s been rejected several times because of his physical stature, his dyslexia, lack of grade and money.

– Where do you see character depth in this scene?

Rudy is a multi-layered character. He’s always dreamt of being a football player and at the same time, when he gets on the field and there’s one last game, he runs to his coach asking “what do I do?” like if he didn’t belong. So he still has self-doubt at that specific moment but then he shows he can actually be a great player.

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• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

(I’ll post my homework of Day 4 when the proper discussion will be open.)

Insights/ Breakthrough: All characters can experience a climax in a movie and it actually makes each of them more interesting. It spices up the story.

In my script, I found a scene where my main character discovers what a classmate does. In a later scene, that classmate’s speech and behaviour shows that she reached the point of no return and is full of inner conflicts but she feels she had no other choice. She threatens the main character if she says anything. The choice that the classmate made is very interesting for the main character because she then asks herself what she would have done if she were in her shoes.

[Mi Lock]

(I’ll post my homework of Day 3 when the proper discussion will be open.)

Insights: I realized that I had a scene in my script with a strong turning point as it reveals a secret that a character mentioned earlier in the story. That scene will be part of the transformational journey of my main character.

[Mi Lock]

(I’ll post my homework of Day 2 when the proper discussion will be open.)

The Godfather opening scene is so rich in details and intense that it might have been the scene that required me the most of work since we started the class. Delighted by all the things I was able to learn from that scene.

Insights/ Breakthroughs:

– The opening scene has to be challenging for the main character so I can show different traits/ layers of my main character and therefore depth, give an insight of who they really are, their personality. I can use both verbal & nonverbal communication.

– I can take my time to set up that intro and don’t have to wrap it up in few minutes. Even if the movie opens with Bonasera’s monologue, it doesn’t take away anything on Don Corleone’s power. At the opposite, it brings some mystery to him.

[Mi Lock]

(I’ll post my homework of Day 1 when the proper discussion will be open.)

Meantime, here’s what I learned/ insights/ breakthroughs:

It’s incredible how a trailer can be clear in terms of the characters’ journey different steps.

I realised that even if my lead character’s journey was super clear, the 2nd main character didn’t have such a precise journey. Will need to work on it.

[Mi Lock]

INSIGHTS: Audience has to relive falling in love at the same time than the characters. They can see the 2 characters as a couple even before the characters admits it.

Small hints here and there with looks, smiles and complicity growing. They enjoy each other’s company.

[Mi Lock]

I just updated the scene I was working on: instead of having them kiss for the 1st time, I had them almost do but they get interrupted by the taxi driver. I think it’s way better as it sets more expectations for what comes next, great cliff-hanger.

[Mi Lock]

These are great characters because:

– they’re at opposite stages in their career life: Jack is a famous rockstar who sings in front of thousands of people, whereas Ally is a struggling singer/ songwriter who has to sing in a small trans-bar and works at a restaurant to pay her bills BUT their common passion for music is bonding them with each other.

– Jack seems disillusioned and drinks a lot, whereas Ally is still hopeful and full of dreams, she’s full of life.

– Jack recognizes himself in the lyrics that Ally wrote and sings to him in that scene. It connects them as it seems she’s seen through him and knows how he feels, they understand each other.

– Ally sings the chorus while living into her future and Jack immediately sees that she’s a star, she’s a revelation. He says “Can I tell you a secret? I think you might be a songwriter. I’m not very good at keeping secrets.” meaning that he’s going to talk about her.

– We see the mutual interest and attraction grow with delicate gestures and looks, especially when he stares at her, mesmerized as she sings, then kisses her hand instead of kissing her on the mouth, it shows that he’s a gentleman. As for Ally, we can tell she likes him when she sings “I’m falling” while staring at him with a lot of tenderness and when she caresses his hair at the end of the scene. There’s several subtle moments like that in the scene.

– We as the audience, are curious to know how these two will get together now that the attraction is clear.

[Mi Lock]

I updated a sequence with a love triangle situation, tension between the two men is very tangible and I had a male character say his line without looking at the female character, as it reflects his feelings of being hurt stronger. The female character understands he’s been jealous so he still has feelings for her.

[Mi Lock]

These are great characters as there’s tension from the top of the scene. As Tess is waiting for Terry, she’s surprised to see Danny instead and doesn’t look happy. We can tell there’s history between them. We clearly understand their respective needs: Danny wants his wife back, whereas Tess wants him to disappear from her life so she can’t start a new life with Terry.

Both Danny and Tess are very smart and their conversation is like a ping-pong game, trying to win over the opponent. They’re both witty and provocative. My favorite line is “Does he make you laugh? – He doesn’t make me cry.” (Straight to the point. That hurts!)

Then Terry shows up in the middle of their conversation, very relaxed (in appearance), elegant, rich, smart and also handsome (a worthy opponent), he doesn’t consider Danny as a threat until Danny keeps touching his ring in front of Tess’s eyes who seems moved. And when they both answer at the same time “I/ he can’t” (stay for a drink), Terry can only notice they’re still connected and gets suspicious, he stares at them and decides to protect his “territory” by being provocative towards Danny: he says “I don’t imagine we’ll be seeing Mr Ocean anytime soon right?”, he caresses Tess’ hand and kisses it, while saying “the towels, you can keep it” => I keep the lady. And all that without even looking at Danny (even more powerful!) => LOVE THAT! GREAT INSIGHTS.

He shows she’s his now. Danny feels very uncomfortable, he can only leave but it doesn’t mean he’s going to give up on her.

[Mi Lock]

While I was reading a specific scene in my script, I already set up a great power struggle between mother and daughter.

I had an hesitation as to keep an audience (their family) and ended up having them leave. The humiliation the mother does to her daughter is not weakened at all.

[Mi Lock]

The conflict starts when the captain of the white team (Gary) comes to the coach (Denzel) to tell him they don’t need “his people in defense, they’re all set” which means they don’t want to play with “black” people. Denzel will use the presence of an audience and will make an announcement to first get their attention. He will then remind Gary who the boss is and whose team it is. Gary feels humiliated, he can only lower his head and obey. Dean who was also in the white team only listened and we can feel he got the message from the coach.

The coach has to seal his dominance from the top of the journey to avoid any discrimination towards the black players. He can’t take the risk of having any kind of trouble in this new team.

The way he does it (calmly but still putting pressure on Gary) shows his superiority and how smart he is.

[Mi Lock]

Instead of mirroring each other like in Tombstone, in Green Book both characters are so different that we’re curious to see how their journey will unfold.

Don Shirley is very elegant, classy, educated, smart and rich (lives in luxury and has a lot of money to pay his personal assistant) whereas Tony Lip is not classy at all, he’s a bit racist (says “colored guys”), doesn’t talk very well in terms of vocabulary (“broads”) and enunciation (low level of education).

The scene takes place when African Americans were not allowed in some places and didn’t have the same rights. Therefore Don Shirley needs someone who can drive him on his tour in the deep South but also someone who can handle troubles they might encounter with racists over there (for his safety). Tony needs that job but doesn’t want to be a “butler” (laundry, shoe shine…). In order to work, they will both have to make some efforts and will have to deal with their pride and prejudices.

[Mi Lock]

INSIGHTS/ BREAKTHROUGHS: I realized that my 2 lead characters who decide to join forces to take their revenge, befriend too easily at the end of that sequence. I think they should go back to keeping their distance after they took their revenge, until they meet again.

[Mi Lock]

After studying the GREEN BOOK scene, I realized that by having 2 characters with opposite traits who will both have to go over many obstacles together but foremost will have to go over their own pride and prejudices, the audience could recognize themselves in one of these characters and experience the character’s emotional and spiritual journey as the character grows. Our stories can really have an impact on people’s life and will hopefully help to make the world a better place.

[Mi Lock]

These characters are great opponents as their skills are both at a high level so we foresee a great fight/duel coming up:

– Both heard of each other’s reputation

– Ringo reminds Doc of himself and that’s why he hates him

– Doc discovers that Ringo is educated as he speaks latin as well. During their exchange in latin, they might be the only ones in the room to have that skill/ level. Someone even asks them to not speak a foreign language.

– Ringo shows off in front of Doc to show his skills as he has an audience, as a threat but even if Doc is sick and drunk, his skills are still very high to the point that he was able to memorize the whole choreography that Ringo did with his pistol and he’s able to precisely repeat it with a tin cup, mimicking him and therefore making fun of him. It’s a way for Doc to answer back to Ringo’s threat. They provoke each other.

– Both are smart and they know they’ll have to deal with each other in the future as Ringo wants his territory to stay as it is (lawless) and Doc is a newcomer who wants to establish some rules (from what I understand in the scene).

– Fun fact is I thought both of their moustache looks alike! 🙂

INSIGHTS: when 2 opponents first meet, we need to establish their rivalry and show why it will be exciting to follow their future encounters.

The codes of Western genre are very strong in that scene but it’s actually a model we could use in any genre.

[Mi Lock]

After analyzing SEABISCUIT’s scene, I checked in my script if the first scene when my characters meet has subtle signs of belonging. Made small adjustments and I think it shows up really well 🙂

[Mi Lock]

Haven’t seen the movie but now I definitely have to. That scene really made me want to see more.

These characters are great from a writing experience because we understand as the scene goes, that both of them are similar: “got spirit”, have temper, uncontrollable, fight with others, provocative (the horse is banging very hard in the barn, then tearing the shirt of the jockey, “Red” is pushing the other guys into a fight).

I think that scene is BRILLIANT !!!! I LOVE it !! => BREAKTHROUGH

Without saying a single word, you can read the thoughts of the trainer and him understanding. To me, this is a GREAT MAGICAL MOMENT!

We, as the audience, are now eager to know what is going to unfold with these 2 characters (Red and the horse).

As for the trainer, we feel empathy for him as he might lose the competition or his job if he doesn’t get anyone able to ride that horse.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

Video seems to be unavailable for me as well (France, not sure if there’s any “region limit”). Thx

[Mi Lock]

INSIGHTS: I love the audio about characters relationships! Especially when Hal said to look for what they do in a movie and that I love, check if I’m already doing it, otherwise add it to my toolbox => learn from the best!

BREAKTHROUGH: will have to go over the whole script, keeping in mind to have worthy opponents/ mismatched allies and add more personality traits to them in order to rise the conflicts or highlight the differences between the characters.

[Mi Lock]

What makes these characters great from a writing perspective:

– First of all, even if Sam is with his son, we feel Sam and Annie are lonely souls. They both seem to be caring and loving people, kind and hopeful for a better future. They seem to have fun with the radio show as the scene progresses.

– what they say at the same time might look like a coincidence but it actually helps Annie feel close to Sam. They both seem a bit annoyed by “call me Doctor Marcia”.

– Both of them feel empathy for someone else: Sam for his son Jonah, Annie for Sam + Jonah. They actually both want to love and to be loved again. She even answers “Yes” at his place when the Dr asks if he might also need someone. By answering to that question, Annie is actually living into her future, maybe dreaming of Sam being the right one for her.

Insights/breakthroughs:

Signs that they are meant to be together/ belong to each other should appear early in the script so the audience would root for the lead characters, especially in a romcom as it creates a curiosity, a will to know more about what’s next/ what is going to happen to them from the audience.

[Mi Lock]

Do we have to send a connection request to the members we’d like to have an exchange with? Sent a request to @ann-marie-brennan and @robert-kerr (if you want of course).

Would be glad to give a feedback to anyone who’d like to. THX

[Mi Lock]

Great feedback from everyone on that Will/Skylar scene and I especially love Robert’s insight about the innocent and hopeful question turning into a self-destructive explosion at the end.

I’m thinking about rewriting a scene in my script that also starts with an innocent and hopeful question then turns into a trigger to my female lead’s wound to end up into a break up.

By analyzing Will/Skylar’s scene, I realized my break up scene might be too “soft” in the way that I was having a hard time to have the boyfriend fight more for them. In my script, she’s the one running away and I need to bring more resistance on his side to not let her go, even if they have to rise their voices. That analysis helped me understand how I can fix it, now I need to find the right triggers for both of them! THANKS!!

[Mi Lock]

These characters are great because they deal with their wounds in different ways. Skylar wants to give it a try even if she’s scared but Will prefers to run away even if they actually both want to the same thing: TO BE LOVED.

– What causes both characters to reveal their wounds?

Skylar wants Will to go with her to California but he refuses to. While they question each other and push each other, they’ll share/show their wounds.

– How are those wounds motivating their emotions, actions, and reactions?

Scene starts with Skylar caressing Will’s back, asking the question with a lot of tenderness => LOVE.

Will doesn’t react with enthusiasm at all, he questions her decision but she’s sure of it the way she says “Oh yeah” => HE PULLS AWAY FROM HER. He says it is serious thing as she might discover something she doesn’t like about him and then he would be stuck in California with someone who doesn’t want him anymore => HE’S SCARED SHE WOULD WANT TO TAKE IT BACK.

Skylar is HURT and says he could just say if he doesn’t love her then when she asks what he’s SCARED OF because he doesn’t want to live out of his comfort zone and leave his world => HE’S UPSET and STANDS UP and says she’s from another world, that she’s going to marry a rich guy from Stanford and have a future totally different from what he can offer her => FEAR OF REJECTION.

Skylar is HURT because he’s obsessed by money and she shares with him she’d give back all her money if only she could have another day with her father => LOSS OF LOVE as her Dad is not there anymore. She’s so hurt that she accuses him of putting his shit on her whereas he’s the one who’s scared. She pushes him by saying that HE’S AFRAID SHE WOULDN’T LOVE HIM BACK but SHE’S AFRAID TOO. When she says that at least she’s been honest with him because he lied about his 12 brothers, he wants to leave => HE RUNS AWAY. But she stops him => SHE LOVES HIM, SHE DOESN’T WANT TO LOSE HIM.

He LOOSES HIS TEMPER shouting the truth about his past, being an orphan => FEAR OF BEING ABANDONED AGAIN. She STARTS TO CRY because she knows she hurt him and she tries to calm him down. When she says that she wants to help him => TO KEEP HIS LOVE, Will gets more angry because he feels like he’s “desperate” to her, like having a “Save me” sign on his back. Tension rises, she tries to calm him down by touching him but he gets even more angry, pushes her against the door and hits the wall => SHE FEELS SHE WENT TOO FAR AND MIGHT LOSE HIM. She tries to get closer and says she loves him, she pushes him by saying she wants to hear that he doesn’t love her, to create an electroshock => SHE’S CONFRONTING HIM, BELIEVING HE WON’T SAY HE DOESN’T LOVE HER.

After a moment, he ends up coldly saying he doesn’t love her and leaves => BY REJECTING HER, HE’S PROTECTING HIMSELF. HE PREFERS TO LEAVE HER THAN TAKING THE RISK OF BEING ABANDONED AGAIN. He might also think he’s protecting her by leaving her.

She breaks down in pain => LOSS OF LOVE.

– How is each character threatening the other’s wound?

Skylar asks Will what he’s scared of, as he finds excuses not to go with her to California, she tells him he hasn’t been honest with her as he lied about having 12 brothers => HE’S BEEN ABANDONED = ORPHAN.

Will first question her decision and says he can’t go to California with her because he has a job here and because he lives here. She thinks he doesn’t love her but she’d rather hear it than having him pretend to.

By expressing that he’s worried she would not love him anymore, Will is actually mirroring her fear as well, she even says it “I’m scared too”. When she says “I love you” he doesn’t answer back. She adds that if he says it, she wouldn’t call him anymore and wouldn’t be in his life. He ends up saying that he doesn’t love her and leaves => LOSS OF LOVE.

– What drama was this scene built around?

Skylar wants Will to go with her to California but he refuses to. She loves him but he’s afraid she won’t love him anymore so he prefers to leave her rather than being abandoned again.

– What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?

Skylar: truly loves him, caring, honest, courageous, strong, knows what she wants, scared but deals with it

Will: self-doubt, thinks he’s not enough, had a very hard childhood (orphan, cigarette on his skin…) and youth (got stabbed), he’s hiding himself behind a cold emotionless face, has a lot of anger, he’s scared and runs away.

[Mi Lock]

These characters are great because they deal with their wounds in different ways. Skylar wants to give it a try even if she’s scared but Will prefers to run away even if they actually both want to the same thing: TO BE LOVED.

– What causes both characters to reveal their wounds?

<div>

Skylar wants Will to go with her to California but he refuses to. While they question each other and push each other, they’ll share/show their wounds.

<div>

– How are those wounds motivating their emotions, actions, and reactions?

Scene starts with Skylar caressing Will’s back, asking the question with a lot of tenderness => LOVE.

Will doesn’t react with enthusiasm at all, he questions her decision but she’s sure of it the way she says “Oh yeah” => HE PULLS AWAY FROM HER. He says it is serious thing as she might discover something she doesn’t like about him and then he would be stuck in California with someone who doesn’t want him anymore => HE’S SCARED SHE WOULD WANT TO TAKE IT BACK.

Skylar is HURT and says he could just say if he doesn’t love her then when she asks what he’s SCARED OF because he doesn’t want to live out of his comfort zone and leave his world => HE’S UPSET and STANDS UP and says she’s from another world, that she’s going to marry a rich guy from Stanford and have a future totally different from what he can offer her => FEAR OF REJECTION.

Skylar is HURT because he’s obsessed by money and she shares with him she’d give back all her money if only she could have another day with her father => LOSS OF LOVE as her Dad is not there anymore. She’s so hurt that she accuses him of putting his shit on her whereas he’s the one who’s scared. She pushes him by saying that HE’S AFRAID SHE WOULDN’T LOVE HIM BACK but SHE’S AFRAID TOO. When she says that at least she’s been honest with him because he lied about his 12 brothers, he wants to leave => HE RUNS AWAY. But she stops him => SHE LOVES HIM, SHE DOESN’T WANT TO LOSE HIM.

He LOOSES HIS TEMPER shouting the truth about his past, being an orphan => FEAR OF BEING ABANDONED AGAIN. She STARTS TO CRY because she knows she hurt him and she tries to calm him down. When she says that she wants to help him => TO KEEP HIS LOVE, Will gets more angry because he feels like he’s “desperate” to her, like having a “Save me” sign on his back. Tension rises, she tries to calm him down by touching him but he gets even more angry, pushes her against the door and hits the wall => SHE FEELS SHE WENT TOO FAR AND MIGHT LOSE HIM. She tries to get closer and says she loves him, she pushes him by saying she wants to hear that he doesn’t love her, to create an electroshock => SHE’S CONFRONTING HIM, BELIEVING HE WON’T SAY HE DOESN’T LOVE HER.

After a moment, he ends up coldly saying he doesn’t love her and leaves => BY REJECTING HER, HE’S PROTECTING HIMSELF. HE PREFERS TO LEAVE HER THAN TAKING THE RISK OF BEING ABANDONED AGAIN. He might also think he’s protecting her by leaving her.

She breaks down in pain => LOSS OF LOVE.

<div>

– How is each character threatening the other’s wound?

Skylar asks Will what he’s scared of, as he finds excuses not to go with her to California, she tells him he hasn’t been honest with her as he lied about having 12 brothers => HE’S BEEN ABANDONED = ORPHAN.

Will first question her decision and says he can’t go to California with her because he has a job here and because he lives here. She thinks he doesn’t love her but she’d rather hear it than having him pretend to.

By expressing that he’s worried she would not love him anymore, Will is actually mirroring her fear as well, she even says it “I’m scared too”. When she says “I love you” he doesn’t answer back. She adds that if he says it, she wouldn’t call him anymore and wouldn’t be in his life. He ends up saying that he doesn’t love her and leaves => LOSS OF LOVE.

– What drama was this scene built around? </div>

Skylar wants Will to go with her to California but he refuses to. She loves him but he’s afraid she won’t love him anymore so he prefers to leave her rather than being abandoned again.

– What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?

Skylar: truly loves him, caring, honest, courageous, strong, knows what she wants, scared but deals with it

Will: self-doubt, thinks he’s not enough, had a very hard childhood (orphan, cigarette on his skin…) and youth (got stabbed), he’s hiding himself behind a cold emotionless face, has a lot of anger, he’s scared and runs away.

</div></div>

[Mi Lock]

Insights: The suspense created by giving a hint here and there throughout the episodes, rises the tensions and thus the audience’s curiosity => the reveal should slowly build up.

While rewriting my scene, I realized that my 1st hint for my main character’s secret was maybe too evident, too clear and that the audience might guess what her secret is too fast, even if other hints come way later.

[Mi Lock]

Haven’t watched the show so here are my deductions from the clips:

1st watch:

– How is Kate’s secret set up? The first scene opens with the marshall, deeply wounded but being taken care of when he says “She’s dangerous”. We immediately want to know who (if there’s any other revealing scene in previous episodes) and why? Then we discover Kate’s wanted picture.<div>

Did she cause all these wounds to the marshall? => many questions need to be answered to the audience.

– What causes demand to know what the secret is?

Each scene rises the suspense and we as audience are definitely curious to know more about what she did and who she really is. The 1st scene with the marshall saying she’s dangerous and sharing the Wanted pictures lights up our curiosity but we don’t know why she is considered as dangerous yet => we want to know more.

– How is Kate’s secret revealed?

In the 2nd scene, Sawyer plays the “I never…” game and pushes her out of her comfort zone by forcing her to confirm (by drinking) that she killed a man => That’s why she’s dangerous.

Then the 3rd scene reveals what she did: she killed her alcoholic husband by blowing their house up => we learn what she did and in which conditions.

Watch 2nd watch:

– What drama was this scene built around?

1st scene is about the marshall being deeply wounded, having fever and Jack giving him care. The marshall is very insisting on the fact that “she’s dangerous” and really wants Jack to believe him and to be careful. At first, Jack doesn’t really believe what the marshall says until he sees the wanted picture in the jacket’s pocket => Revealing an extremely important information about Kate.

2nd scene is about Kate and Sawyer sitting in front of a firecamp, Sawyer is drinking alcohol from a little bottle. Kate also wants to drink but Sawyer agrees to share only if she plays the “I never…” game. First Sawyer is playful and seductive. Step by step, he confronts her with “I never killed a man” => She fell into the trap! And we also learn that actually both characters did => our curiosity rises at a higher level, we can’t wait to know more about it.

3rd scene is a flashback when Kate was waiting for her alcoholic husband to come back home, put him in bed (totally disgusted by him and upset) then she left on her motorcycle after a short hesitation. Suddenly, their house blows up => we understand she set that up.

– What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?

• 1st scene: The marshall is a strong fighter, he wants to make sure that Jack gets warned about Kate even if he’s wounded, he’s caring, professional, fights for justice. Jack is caring, conscientious, tries to calm the marshall down by saying he’s talking no sense because of his fever.
• 2nd scene: Kate and Sawyer are playful. Kate is smart (she understands right away that Sawyer didn’t go to college), she’s secretive (keeps to the minimum of information), she first tries to lie when Sawyer says “I never killed a man” but ends up confirming she did as Sawyer looks at her with a knowing look. Sawyer is seductive and smart as well, likes to drink.
• 3rd scene: Kate has been going through a lot, she’s been patiently waiting for her husband, she’s strong and she’s had enough, she’s smart, she planned everything. Her husband is an alcoholic, we understand it’s not the first time that he comes back home drunk and he might not always be respectful towards her.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

My character’s past should definitely be a key component to where they’re at right now/ what they have to change/ move away from/ or what they have to learn from. It could also help them achieve something with their past experience.

As Hal said, my characters should also be perfect for that film so I need to strengthen the reasons why they are.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

Haven’t seen the movie so these are my guess from the scene and from the synopsis I read:

1st watch:

– Where is Junah coming from? Junah was the golf champion of the “North South Championship 1916” and has stopped playing golf for many years. He has to play again and win a competition with high stakes.

– Where is Bagger Vance coming from? I guess he’s a golf player too but I believe African Americans didn’t have the same rights at that time so that’s why he says he’s a caddie. He came to encourage Junah to go back to training and find his swing again.

– What makes them right for their roles in this movie? Junah was a Champion who now has doubts and refuses to play. Bagger Vance seems to be an expert and a great “coach”, he truly believes in Junah as a great admirer, he wants him to be back in the game.

2nd watch:

– What drama was this scene built around? Junah didn’t play golf for years and now has to win a competition with high stakes. As he lost his golf swing, he trains in the dark, even if he doesn’t want to play the match. While he hit some balls, a man holding a suitcase appears from the dark. Bagger Vance came to encourage Junah to play again. Junah doesn’t like how Bagger Vance pressures him but he’ll prove him Junah can get his swing back.

– What traits showed up in these two character’s words and actions?

JUNAH: self-doubt, generous, incredulous, impatient

BAGGER VANCE: patient, supportive, great adviser, playful, likes to tease, provocative, truly believes in Junah, smart, loves to play with words, humble

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

There’s so much you can tell about a character without having to say it!

+ the opposition with one knowing and one having doubts brings an interesting conflict in a scene. The one having doubts might go through a rollercoaster of emotions.

Insights: I absolutely need to know where my character’s destination is so I can start with the opposite traits/ situation => makes the journey more impactful. I chose to work on a scene that is key to my main character’s transformational journey: she’s been a struggling actress full of doubts, who’s now facing a director who sees through her and already knows she’ll be a movie star.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

SARAH is struggling with an inner conflict: she wants to know more about her son, the future, their world but at the same time, she doesn’t want to have the responsibility of being the “mother of the future”, she rejects/ denies that version of her future => she has tons of doubts.

Versus KYLE who has a blind faith in her, he even has sparkles in the eyes when he looks at her, he volunteered to get a chance to meet “the legend” => he knows.

The opposition between her having tons of doubts and him knowing is the key to Sarah’s transformational journey, and therefore her future.

1st watch:

– What future is Sarah Connor living into? Sarah doesn’t believe she’s the mother of the future, she doesn’t want it.

– What future is Kyle Reese living into? Kyle’s future is painful with the machines having taken over the world and trying to destroy humanity, but he’d die for John Connor. He knows Sarah and John are the only chance for humanity to survive.

– Sarah’s transformation: she’ll realize all of that is true, she will become a warrior and will train her son from is early age.

2nd watch:

– What drama was this scene built around? Her denial/ rejection of being the mother of the future: John Connor, humanity’s saviour.

– What traits showed up in these 2 characters’ words and actions?

SARAH: curious, caring, anxious, doubtful, has no confidence in herself, bad at money management and not organized, not used to see blood, unconsciously gives orders (she’s turning into a leader), the way she tights the wound dressing shows how strong she can be and that she learns fast.

KYLE: calm, confident, admirative of her (he has sparkles in the eyes), loyal, courageous “would die for John Connor”, volunteered to meet the Legend, trustworthy, kind, protective, strong (wound is nothing), organized (rest before sunrise = need strength), blindly trusts in her.

[Mi Lock]

What I learned rewriting my scene/character is that having an underdog character win has a stronger impact on the reader/ audience and therefore a stronger message.

[Mi Lock]

-1st viewing:

WILL: discreet, observer, expert, controls the situation, confident

SKYLAR: curious, not judgemental, open to the conversation with this guy she doesn’t know

CHUCKIE: seductive, provocative, confident, playful

– 2nd viewing: SKYLAR is upset/ strong enough to express her disapproval to the other guy.

– Drama: As Chuckie seduces Skylar, a guy shows up and starts to put Chuckie down by “showing” he’s smarter to impress the girls => competition to win the girls, he plays “I’m smarter than you, this is not a bar for you”. But it’s all fake and that triggers Will.

– Why this bar? Because the students there represent the exact opposite of what Will is (a janitor), they paid $150K to learn something they could have learnt for $1.50 in a public library.

– That scene shows that money, social status, prestige don’t make people smarter but sometimes only more arrogant and that despite appearances, the discreet one (Will) who is in a less privileged situation is actually in a stronger position to destroy the guy because he has the knowledge and an opinion, he is authentic.

[Mi Lock]

1. Mi Kwan LOCK

2. “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.

OR

NOT AGREE, in which case, you hit “Reply to this topic” and type in the words “I’ll do the class privately.”

If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.

Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Mi Lock]

Hi everyone, Mi Kwan from Paris, France.

As an actress director, I realized I had to write my own projects if I want to play more profound characters. I’ve written 3 short scripts, 1 TV show that I’m currently revising – hope to improve it so I can get it signed + I want to start to write a feature film so I need to improve my writing.

I’m French of Chinese descent and grew up in Madagascar. Lived in Los Angeles from 2017-2020.

Eager to start the class!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

No answer yet but I think that after I’m done checking if my main character’s journey has all these bullet points, I’ll mark it as complete. I’ll go back to the forum to read all your feedback in order to see if I can add anything else to my script 🙂

[Mi Lock]

Hi Natacha, I’m also from Paris 🙂 Hope you enjoy the class.

[Mi Lock]

Same here, hopefully it will be fixed within the next 2 days, so we don’t lose track.

[Mi Lock]

Sorry Ann, I’ve been looking for that movie clip for a while but couldn’t find it in our region.

[Mi Lock]

Hi Ann, yes for some reason, that video seems to be blocked here too. Had to use a VPN again to change my location to LA instead of France. I’ll see if I can find another link that works here for you.

[Mi Lock]

I’m in Paris and couldn’t access it neither, I changed my VPN to LA and succeeded to access the video (don’t know why?)

I looked for another link to the video that works here: https://youtu.be/urwf0k9Sjsw (clip should stop at 1:30 right before Tobey Maguire stands in the barn)

Hope it works for you too.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  Mi Lock.

[Mi Lock]

Hi Robert,

Awesome thanks! Will email you my scene.

Here’s my email mikwanlock@gmail.com

Don’t worry for the delay, I’m 9 hours ahead of LA so we might not work on the same schedule.

Have a wonderful day! Mi Kwan