Ayesha Morris
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Ayesha’s Four Act Transformational Structure
What I learned with this assignment is to create a skeleton roadmap, laying a framework for how a screenplay could unfold.
Concept:
The year is 1892, and a time-traveling Caribbean coal carrier, Hilda, must lead a strike for fair wages against a wealthy steamship company exploiting its workers before the tokens they are paid expire.Arrested and thrown into the dark hole before the protest even starts, a vortex catapults her back to 1848, when coaling was done under crack of whip, then teleports her to 1916 during one of the island’s worst hurricanes. With her superpower of the African bamboula dance, her mission is to find implements from each year to strengthen her current battle, as her nemesis Constable Gellerup follows her into every lifetime, in an attempt to restrict her freedom.
Main Conflict: Gellerup wants to keep Hilda enslaved, although the emancipation proclamation was signed almost 50 years earlier. From the first scene, she is thrown in jail. Every time she attempts to make money, Gellerup finds a way to restrict her freedom.
Old Ways:
Old Identity: A coal carrier like her grandmother, barely surviving.
Sees hard work as the key to success.
Her romantic partners are purely business transactions.
New Ways:
New Identity: Queen Coziah who stands up for others and uplifts herself.
Knows to get ahead, wounds of the past must be healed.
Develops a liking for Thomas Phillips, a kindred spirit
ACT 1Opening: Hilda races up the gangplank, a 100 pound basket of coal on her head, wave action washing water over the way, mixed with a gush of wind, as she slips and bumps into the person in front of her, the basket tipping over and plunging into the depths below, setting off a chain reaction.
She’s carted off to jail, placed in a dark cell, and the door slams.
Inciting Incident: Hilda is locked up by Gellerup, for the loss caused at the coal wharf. She is known as the most clumsy of all at coaling.
Under a deadline of coal tokens declared illegal, Hilda along with the other coal workers must redeem the few she has before the new law goes into effect.
Turning Point: The deadline comes. She’s teleported to 1848, through the dungeon cell, body there but spirit traveling by the time they push the first bread and water meal through the grate
ACT 2
Hilda in 1848 assumes the body of her grandmother, and realizes instead of day time, it is night, and at the end of a five hour coaling shift, there is no money to be had at all, on top of having to do it at the crack of Gellerup’s whip.
She realizes, as bad as she had it, the coal workers of the time period had it even worse. The coal used at the time leaves a cloud of dust and irritates their eyes.
New plan: Instead of over-working for no pay, she decides to pass as a free Tortolian worker, but a rumor spreads that Tortolian workers plan to support the enslaved in the event of a revolution.
Turning Point/Midpoint: The plan fails when her true identity as an enslaved laborer is discovered. She is tied to a ladder to be beaten with a leather strap with a wire button at the end that removes pieces of flesh. She has to find a tool of resistance to escape and get back to the vortex.ACT 3
New Plan: One more pass through the vortex, with the clock still ticking, Hilda ends up in the future, where the effects of a hurricane are still brewing in the harbor, yet they are expected to work in these conditions. Gellerup figure has made the baskets larger and heavier than before. A local labor leader has organized workers and a newspaper for the people to protest the injustice. She decides it’s best to level the playing field and fight for what they’re due. The best solution is to increase their wages.
New Insights: Gellerup is a reflection of each authority figure she has met along the way bent on holding on to power. Uniting in numbers is the best way to force the system to change.
Turning Point 3: She goes to a meeting led by labor leader George Moorhead who organizes 2,700 coal workers into a union. Gellerup figure cuts the electricity after mere minutes, and they move to torchlight. Facing sandflies, mosquitoes, and water running through the house, they demand double the pay that causes less profits for steamship agents. The island is on the verge of sale to the U.S. They have to work 7 days, on Sundays, and holidays, in all types of weather. She ends up back in jail for…vagrancy, not knowing she needed to be at work on a Sunday…
ACT 4
New Plan: Armed with a pen from 1916, and a Queen conch shell from 1848, Hilda must get back to 1892, she has to find a way to repurpose them to save the present.
Gellerup also brings back tools of oppression, spiked manacles or the mouth gag from 1848 and a scale, a reminder he is judge and jury.
Climax: Back in 1892, she awakes in the dark hole, and stabs the lock with the pen enough to loosen it and escape. With the conch shell, she calls her army of 200 coal workers…the sound bellowing louder than horn or rocket to the coal yard…Gellerup gets wind and mobilizes at the fort, sending soldiers and cannons in a fight for control. The sound of hundreds of feet down Main Street as the workers protest at every symbol of authority, breaking through the barricade with the bamboula, winning their demands.
Resolution: The clock runs out, and tokens tossed into the sea in celebration. Another day on the dock ends at the broker exchange. The workers are paid in Danish silver. Under questioning, Hilda eludes Gellerup about being the strike leader. She’s across from Thomas Phillips who looks at her adoringly, and for the first time, feels something in return. The Gellerup family business is forced to shut down. -
Ayesha’s Character Interviews
What I learned doing this assignment is how to let go and listen to the flashes of thoughts coming into my head as I interviewed my characters. Recording those responses was insightful – allowed me to write in plain words the emotions or thoughts I sensed they were having. It also unlocked other possible directions to take the story, other motivations for the journey.
QUESTIONS FOR HILDA
Good evening, tell me about yourself.
I am quick. Speedy at the coal yard. The more I carry, the more I make. I am ambitious. It’s all about balance. I put a little extra dip, extra roll into what I’m carrying on the gangplank.
I even dance to bend down and get the coal basket on my head, then up to balance it.
I am 19, a coal worker, full of zest, looking forward to a better tomorrow.
Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?
I am the unlikely one. If a coal worker is considered low, try a prostituting coal worker…to have that background, and be hailed as a Queen, is just phenomenal.
You are up against Constable Gellerup. What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?
He keeps locking me up for every attempt to make money. He wants me more than any other man on this island. He is determined to make me pay for the collapse to his father’s business
In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?
Will have to pretend to like people I don’t
Will have to lead something when I don’t want to
Will have to almost sell my soul much less my body
What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?
Being brutally honest/saying what comes to mind
Feeling insecure
Need for instant gratification
What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?
Thinking not good enough
Feeling not strong enough
Memories of 1878, another revolution where the place burned down and punishments were harsh
Stories of 1840s, grandmother’s experience, doing this work at the crack of a whip during slavery
What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?
I am the prime subject of his disdain
Physically fit
Limber
Power of seduction
Energetic
Able to move between worlds of coal workers and authorities
Intelligent
What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?
Slept with biggest names in town
What do you think of?
Is this gift of dance a curse
Going away to study
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story
Gellerup sees us toiling each day for little pay. He knows this is barely survival, and to deprive us of even that is wicked.
What does it do for your life if you succeed here?
Complete transformation
Ability to rise above circumstanceQUESTIONS FOR GELLERUP
Tell me about yourself.
I’m CG Gellerup, a man of action, career law enforcement, believe in the rod of correction, believe in preserving my family name and legacy
Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?
Physically strong/sexually weak
Strong minded/obsessive
Focused/scattered with rum
Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?
My family has worked too hard to hold onto what we have
She is determined to destroy it
I can’t let that happen
What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?
Protecting my family name
Preserving my image
Keeping our wealth for generations
Hiding my dirty little secret
What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?
She freaking does. She seems determined to bring about my ruin.
I must stop her before she stops me
What secrets must you keep to succeed?
My family’s illegal doings, even by back then’s standards
They continued to enslave coal laborers even after slavery was done
What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?
I like her a little bit more than I care to admit, jealous of seeing her with other men of prominence and position
Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?
I’ve developed an appreciation for Caribbean culture.
What do you think of ?
How to protect my secrets at all costs
My father
Her
Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.
This is a matter of survival. If those people refuse to coal one ship we’ll be on the verge of losing everything.
An important shipment is on that ship
Illegal arms?
She knows my secrets.
I will not let her bring us to ruin. -
Ayesha’s Character Profiles: Part 2
I learned how to dig deeper to flush out traits of my lead characters; and how to layer them to make more complex profiles.
Hilda Simon
Role in the story: Victim. An unassuming 19th century coal worker, a bamboula dancer, trying to make a dollar at a time when money is scarce, and options are limited. She must face greedy authorities in an island port, and lead a fight for justice.
Age range and Description: Female, 18 to early 20s, lean, Caribbean accent.
Internal Journey: From feeling helpless to having the strength to confront the steamship agents, military, and government.
External Journey: From a nameless worker who is a pushover to a respected leader who motivates hundreds to strike for better pay
Motivation: Needs to feed her family
Wound: Mother had to do this work for free at the crack of a whip, lost her life to black lung disease
Mission/Agenda: To get the true value of her pay “dollar for dollar” in Danish silver, not the devalued currency she’s being offered.
Secret: She’s had to do sex work to make ends meet.
What makes them special? She finds strength and rare skill in the bamboula dance, not only does it help her balance the heavy loads of carrying coal, but grounds her in a time of distress.
What draws us to this character? Pushover — Inhabiting the lower echelons as she daily emerges covered in soot, she is an easy target of insult and abuse. Her journey to improve her life station starts with the unpredictable power of a dance… that mesmerizes, mocks, and overcomes high society all at once.
Traits: Persistent, skillful, negotiator, courageous.
Subtext: Hides her fear of Hannibal. Uses politeness to combat questioning of her skills and constant sexism. Deflects attacks and politely counterattacks.
Flaw: Lack of confidence.
Values: Hard work, responsibility, justice, the labor class.
Irony: She has to compromise with those she fights against to get results. She is the least likely person to gain the title of Queen, but the only one to fight to get the people what they want.
What makes her the right character for this role? She’s a quintessential coal worker who knows the dangers of the profession, takes chances to rise above circumstance. She is comfortable interacting with those in power. Can find freedom in the restraint of her work role.
Constable Gellerup
Role in the story: Authority. Obsessed with order, good at his job..
Age range and Description: Male, 40’s, wears his uniform like he defends his country, serves as police, judge, steamship agent all wrapped into one.
Internal Journey: From powerful to powerless.
External Journey: Goes from rich to losing a bunch of money when the strike happens.
Motivation: Greed. Control of labor force to ensure his wealth.
Wound: Father lost money when workers refused to load a particularly toxic type of coal.
Mission/Agenda: To expand wealth while keeping control.
Secret: Was Hilda’s client at a point
What makes them special? Danish transplant who realizes he is drawn to West Indian food and culture
What draws us to this character? Hard nosed yet open to experiencing a new culture. Authority figure who loves law and order but sometimes breaks the rules.
Traits: By the book, tough, intelligent, ambitious.
Subtext: He loves law and order, but skirts the rules for personal gain.
Flaw: He loves controlling people.
Values: Strength, wealth, pride, loyalty
Irony: Even when locking people up, his favorite pastime, he tries to hide his weakness, and overcompensates. He is the only one to have a glimpse behind the mask of the bamboula dance, to know it’s more than a casual form of entertainment.
What makes him the right character for this role? Both refined/structured and stand offish/weak at the same time. He lays down the law but has the ability to connect with regular people, and goes to great lengths to cover this up.
Other characters that might be necessary:
Supporting characters: fellow coal worker Dorothea Scatliffe, best friend;
Minor roles: coal workers Thomas Phillip and Lucretia Quinones; Gellerup’s wife;
Background characters: Hilda’s mother, Gellerup’s father; other coal workers, police, militia, steamship agents -
Ayesha’s Character Profiles: Part 1
I learned how to begin sketching out personality traits and add some depth to main characters in the story, in particular for the antagonist, who I hadn’t considered as thoughtfully before. Being able to choose clear roles from them to fulfill also provided a clear framework to add layers around.
Hilda Simon
Role in the story: Victim. An unassuming 19th century coal worker, a bamboula dancer, trying to make a dollar at a time when money is scarce, and options are limited. She must face greedy authorities in an island port, and lead a fight for justice.
Age range and Description: Female, 18 to early 20s, lean, Caribbean accent.Internal Journey: From feeling helpless to having the strength to confront the steamship agents, military, and government.
External Journey: From a nameless worker who is a pushover to a respected leader who motivates hundreds to strike for better pay
Motivation: Needs to feed her family
Wound: Mother had to do this work for free at the crack of a whip, lost her life to black lung disease
Mission/Agenda: To get the true value of her pay “dollar for dollar” in Danish silver, not the devalued currency she’s being offered.Secret: She’s had to do sex work to make ends meet.
What makes them special?
She finds strength and rare skill in the bamboula dance, not only does it help her balance the heavy loads of carrying coal, but grounds her in a time of distress.CONSTABLE GELLERUP
Role in the story: Authority. Obsessed with order, good at his job.Age range and Description: Male, 40’s, wears his uniform like he defends his country, serves as police, judge, steamship agent all wrapped into one.
Internal Journey: From powerful to powerless.
External Journey: Goes from rich to losing a bunch of money when the strike happens.
Motivation: Greed. Control of labor force to ensure his wealth.
Wound: Father lost money when workers refused to load a particularly toxic type of coal.
Mission/Agenda: To expand wealth while keeping control.
Secret: Was Hilda’s client at a point
What makes them special? Danish transplant who realizes he is drawn to West Indian food and culture
Other characters that might be necessary:
Supporting characters: fellow coal worker Dorothea Scatliffe, best friend;
Minor roles: coal workers Thomas Phillip and Lucretia Quinones; Gellerup’s wife;
Background characters: Hilda’s mother, Gellerup’s father; other coal workers, police, militia, steamship agents -
Ayesha’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
I learned how to think of the arc of a character in terms of opposites, and the way that brought into focus a concrete journey of changes that needed to occur, and what the sharp contrast between those traits needed to be.
I also got a glimpse of the challenge I had with vacillating on subject matter and possibly with trying to come up with fictional traits for a real life character.Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?
Hilda, an unassuming 19th century coal worker must face greedy authorities in an island port, and lead a fight for justice.Internal Journey: From feeling helpless to having the strength to rise up against a gridlock of power.
External Journey: Young woman who motivates hundreds to strike for better pay
Old Ways:
Lets people take advantage of her
seen as an embarrassment
timid
disrespected
not taken seriouslyNew Ways:
Stands up for herself
motivates others
strong
respected
gains the revered title of queen -
Hi all, nice to meet everyone, my name is Ayesha.
After a couple starts and stops, maybe I’ve written between 0 and 1/4 scripts at best. Hoping to learn how to map out and know where the story is going, along with follow tips to get words on the page faster. I flunked high-school English, but went into journalism for several years. -
Ayesha Morris
I agree to the terms of this release form. -
Bridgerton 5 Star Model
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
There are multiple decisions made in the writing of the pilot that set the scene for a drama to unfold over the course of a season that, as a regular viewer, I didn’t pay attention to. After picking out the details for the 5 star points model, I have a better consideration for the high stakes, depth, and multiple ingredients needed to factor into a binge worthy tv show. After teasing out the elements below and reviewing, the resulting assignment read a bit like a pitch to me.
1. Big Picture Hooks
In the heat of London’s 19th century social scene, a flawless debutante hand-picked by the Queen struggles to secure a husband, as her brother’s efforts and the town’s scandal sheet threaten to catapult her into social ruin.2. Amazing and Intriguing Character
The lead female character, Daphne, navigates fitting into society’s expectations while challenging the restrictions placed on women. She agrees to a plan of a fake attachment hatched by the lead male, the mysterious Duke of Hastings, whose complicated family background commits him to never to marry. Side characters with layered histories and wants also add intrigue.3. Empathy / Distress
When Daphne’s brother scares away the most eligible bachelors of the town, she is left with only one suitor, who he arranges for her to marry — the ogre-like Lord Berbrook.4. Layers / Open Loops
Who is scandal sheet writer Lady Whistledown?
Will Daphne secure a match?
Will the fake attachment be revealed?
Will the Duke get married?5. Inviting Obsession
Lady Whistledown casts praise, then aspersions on the people of the town, revealing their deepest secrets and adding to the Queen’s disapproval an inescapable layer of public scrutiny that addicts the town’s personalities. Several of the characters are hiding secrets that could damage their reputations forever. -
Ayesha Morris.
I agree to the terms of this release form.GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class. -
Greetings all, Ayesha Morris here. Nice to meet everyone. I come more from a journalism background but wanting to get more into fiction. Wrote one really short play, and looking forward to this class to help develop a roadmap to a longer destination. I live on an island.