[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Hero and villain

Fill in the blanks and see what shows up.

Concept:

<ul type=”disc”>

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Hero’s Mission Track

BASIC MISSION STEPS

Clear Mission: Frankie Holly’s clear mission, get her nephew, the whistle blower’s son to the Vatican Embassy before midnight.

Motivation: Frankie’s estranged sister was murdered by the cartel trying to be the whistle blower herself.

Inciting Incident: The cartel shoots up Frankie’s house and firebombs it looking for the kid.

First Action: Frankie gets a call from the Cartel boss explaining how he only wants the kid and that she can go free.

Obstacle: Frankie and the kid go to her sister’s house to find it torched and burned to the ground. The kid finds something very important to him there.

Escalation: As they leave the house they are trailed by a drone missile attack from above. There are car chases on the ground. and road blocks at all points.

Twist: Frankie calls old team member from her car phone.

Attacking Back: Frankie puts the car into auto drive and attacks the overhead drones with automatic gunfire from the sunroof.

Overwhelming Odds: The only way out of the neighborhood is for Frankie to use her combat driving skills.

Escape: Frankie jumps the car over one of the police roadblocks.

New Plan: The car is totaled. Frankie and Joey are on foot.

Escape: Her ex team mate hovers overhead in a helicopter and lowers a rope ladder. Frankie ties Joey to her waist and they SPIE (special purpose insertion/extraction)as far as they can until the helicopter is forced down by multiple incoming gun fire.

New Plan: Frankie and Joey are on foot again.

Full out Attack: Frankie and Joey hide. Frankie estimates the number of enemy. She attacks them all various ways, vampire as well as knife fighting and gun battles.

Twist: They make it to the embassy only to discover that one of the Vatican Cardinals is also on the take. Frankie kills the Vatican Cardinal.

Success: Frankie delivers Joey in time for the hearing against Boda the cartel boss.

[Tony Scott]

no reply

• This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by  Tony Scott.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Conventions!

I learned to fill in the blanks and sort it all out later.

In a world where humans and vampires coexist and ex Vatican Nun, turned Vampire Justice Department Investigator must protect a key whistleblower.

Hero: Ex Vatican War Nun Special Operator Team Head,
Turned Vampire

Demand For Action: The witness is being hunted by the
drug Cartel boss, the cops and the corrupt vampire underground.

Mission: Get the witness to the Vatican Embassy in time
to testify to the Vatican/Vampire Peace Council.

Antagonist: Imprisoned drug Cartel Boss indicted for breaking the Vatican/Vampire Peace agreement terms.

Escalating Action: The protagonist has to rely on her
former military skills and operators to help her escape assassins hunting
them. Cartel Boss puts a $50M bounty on the whistleblower. Some of the assassins kill each other off.

[Tony Scott]

I agree

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott

Hoping to learn action writing

[Tony Scott]

Fascinating Scene Outlines!

1. INT. MANSION DINING AREA – NIGHT

The Blackthorns watch the special news report of the war and express their opinion. The news report is bogus. Lucius becomes threatening.

Beginning: (location) They watch the news and whats happening outside the balcony windows. It’s obvious the news is a lie.

Middle: (mystery) Why is Lucius believing the lie about the war when he knows the vampires are losing?

Ending: Lucius becomes threatening to Nadia. (uncomfortable moment) Vincent wants to defend Nadia but can’t.

2. INT. MANSION DANCE HALL – NIGHT

Nadia has a traumatic episode during her dance performance. She embarrasses her father Lucius.

Beginning: (dilemma) Does Nadia continue with her ceremony after realizing Lucius had her mother murdered.

Middle: Uncomfortable moment) Nadia refuses the blood rite.

Ending: (betrayal) Vincent orders guards to Nadia’s room.

3. INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

They meet in Naia’s room. They discuss what needs to be done if she doesn’t want to become a vampire.

Beginning: (surprise) Lucius agrees. Nadia doesn’t have to become a vampire. All she has to do is kill her grandfather to break her curse.

Middle: (mislead) Lucius says it in a joking manner but isn’t really joking.

Ending: Nadia tries to kill herself.

4. INT. MANSION SUNROOM – DAY

After failing to kill her grandfather Nadia decides to kill herself.

Beginning: (dilemma) Nadia waits for the sun to rise and hopes the sun will kill her.

Middle: Vincent finds out the Nadia plans to attempt suicide.

Ending: Vincent finds Nadia and prevents her attempt.

5. INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – DAY

Vincent and Nadia talk about why her suicide wouldn’t work. She notices her gift is glowing. She time travels.

Beginning: (location) Vincent and Nadia talk on Nadia’s bedroom balcony.

Middle: Nadia walks back into her bedroom when she sees something glowing.

Ending: (Surprise) Vincent turns his back for a second and Nadia falls faint. Vincent turns to Nadia from the balcony and notices she is gone.

6. EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION ROAD – NIGHT

Nadia wakes up confused, doesn’t recognize where she is and she is sitting in bushes by a road.

Beginning: (twist) Slave owner claims Nadia is his runaway slave.

Middle: Slave owner threatens to beat Josiah with a whip.

Ending: (creepy crab crawl) Vampire slaves arrive and devour slave owner.

7. INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM BALCONY – DAY

Nadia falls faint in the past and arrives hanging from her bedroom balcony. Vincent catches her just as she is falling from the balcony.

Beginning: (scary) Nadia arrives back in the present and almost falls over her bedroom balcony. Vincent catches her.

Middle: (shock) Vincent tries to understand what just happened.

Ending: (intrigue) Nadia thinks it was a crazy dream.

8. INT. MAUSOLEUM GRANDFATHER’S CRYPT – DAY

Vincent tells Nadia about Josiah’s roots, the first vampire and the truth about her father’s capture by the slavers.

Beginning: (twist) after hearing the Vincent’s stories, Nadia is convinced the man she met on the horse is her grandfather.

Middle: She is now more convinced that she should kill her grandfather and break the curse.

Ending: (unexpected) Nadia falls faint at the mausoleum and wakes up in the past.

9. EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION BUSHES – NIGHT

Nadia hides out in the bushes after the pose is slaughtered and is hoping to kill her grandfather.

Beginning: Nadia hides and watches as the vampires slaughter the racists pose.

Middle: She has to run deeper into the woods to avoid being found.

Ending: (scary) The vampire slaves crab crawl and hop trying to find her until they all sharply return to Josiah.

10. INT. JOSIAH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Nadia stands over Josiah while he sleeps holding a machete. She is ready to kill him.

Beginning: She sneaks into Josiah’s bedroom.

Middle: She sees her name recorded in his journal.

Ending: She finds out that she is destined to fulfill a future prophecy.

11. INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Nadia goes to confront Lucius about what she’s learned and over hears him blackmailing a Vatican Cardinal.

Beginning: Does Nadia tell Vincent what she heard?

Middle: Nadia tells Vincent what she heard.

Ending: Nadia can’t believe that Vincent knows everything.

12. INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius meets with the disgruntled villager and works out a deal for his freedom.

Beginning: (intrigue) Lucius plans to have his father killed by the rebel villager.

Middle: Lucius calls the guards to catch the rebel villager in the act of murder.

Ending: Lucius kills the rebel in his secret office kill room.

13. INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Nadia tells Vincent about the journal entry, her name and the prophecy and how Vincent is supposed to be in charge of the family.

Beginning: Nadia wants to know why Lucius is in charge of the family when it’s supposed to be Vincent, who is the oldest.

Middle: Vincent knows the answers Nadia is looking for but won’t tell her.

Ending: Nadia finds a photo of Vincent, her mother and her and figures out that Vincent is really her father and not her uncle.

14. INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Nadia and Vincent watch the video from the thumb drive. She has the journal in her shoulder bag.

Beginning: Nadia makes a plan to expose Lucius and put Vincent in charge.

Middle: guards show up looking for Nadia.

Ending: Nadia travels to the past.

15. EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION – NIGHT

A squad of civil war soldiers arrives at the Saunders plantation. They gather all the slaves outside and announce that they are hereby free.

Beginning: (Mislead) The soldiers are there to announce the emancipation proclamation act and assist in the movement of any slaves who wish to go north.

Middle: None of the slaves care about freedom.

Ending: Nadia is suspicious of the soldiers.

16. INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – DAY

Nadia and Vincent work on vampire powers they think Nadia might need in the past.

Beginning: They work on glamming.

Middle: They decide glamming will work to get the truth from Cpt. Stanley.

Ending: The glamming doesn’t work for Nadia in the present and she’s not sure it will work in the past.

17. INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius meets with 4 of the council members and calls for the Vampire Military Leader as well.

Beginning: The four are gathered in his outer office area.

Middle: Lucius has them all seated and waiting in the inner office/kill room.

Ending: Lucius sinks his teeth into the neck of the vampire soldier and realizes he’s a traitor. He’s thrown into the kill room. All are killed.

18. EXT. SOLDIER’S CAMP – NIGHT

Nadia and Captain Stanley spend romantic time together but Stanley recognizes that he is being controlled by magic.

Beginning: Nadia meets with Stanley.

Middle: Nadia glams Stanley into a romance and he watches her perform a ballet dance number.

Ending: Stanley breaks the spell and detains Nadia. She travels back to the present.

19. INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius accuses Vincent of conspiring against him. He sends the guards to locate Nadia.

Beginning: Lucius discovers items missing from his safe.

Middle: Nadia arrives at Lucius’ office.

Ending: Nadia falls faint and vanishes while Lucius’ back is turned to her. Lucius isn’t sure what happened. He thinks Nadia left the room. He throws Vincent in the kill room.

20. EXT. JOSIAH’S PARLOR – NIGHT

Nadia enters Josiah’s house. He’s been wounded and close to death. Stanley is going to finish him off. Josiah tells Nadia to bite Stanley.

Beginning: Nadia notices dead soldiers and dead vampires. She looks for Josiah and Stanley.

Middle: She finds Stanley preparing to kill Josiah, who is wounded and unable to defend himself.

Ending: Nadia bites Stanley, killing him, and then turns into a full vampire.

21. INT. MANSION MEETING HALL – NIGHT

Nadia and Vincent show up with Josiah and put an end to the vote. Lucius is arrested but escapes.

Beginning: Lucius escapes his guards.

Middle: Josiah calls for a meeting with the Vatican.

Ending: Lucius escapes to his office. We see him entering his kill room.

[Tony Scott]

TONY J SCOTT SCENE REQUIREMENTS

In The Blood

PRESENT #1

INT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

Rebel vampire villagers are hiding in the dark and waiting to for others to join to start the meeting.

Scene Arc: Villagers hiding and waiting to start a meeting.

Essence: How long are they willing to wait.

Conflict: Why are they huddled in silence and secrecy?

Hope/Fear: We hope they aren’t exposed. We fear someone will find them.

EXT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

A Vampire Commander on horseback slowly gallops to a home. He dismounts and waits at the door.

Scene Arc: A soldier dismounts his horse and stands at the door.

Essence: Why is a Uniformed Vampire Commander lurking outside this home?

Conflict: Is he there to make arrests?

Subtext: Are the vampires inside in danger?

Hope/Fear: We hope he doesn’t kill anyone. We fear he might be killed

INT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

The Soldier checks the doorknob. The door is unlocked. He draws his hand gun.

Scene Arc: The soldier seems suspicious about checking the door.

Essence: Who is he looking for?

Conflict: Will he have to use his gun?

Subtext: Is he afraid for his safety?

Hope/Fear: Is he going to kill someone? Well he be killed?

INT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

The soldier cautiously enters the home with his gun drawn and whispers to anyone who might be inside.

Scene Arc: Soldier enters, gun drawn and calls out.

Essence: Will anyone answer?

Conflict: Why is he there?

Subtext: Will he shoot first out of fear?

Hope/Fear:

INT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

A group of village vampires emerge from the darkness to meet with the Vampire Military commander and discuss how they will assassinate the head vampire during the ceremony. The soldier has the truth about the number vampires dead to the number of humans.

Scene Arc: The vampires emerge and meet with the soldier. He tells the they are losing the war

Essence: They plan to have one person shoot Lucius with a gun loaded with an ultraviolet bullet.

Conflict: They vow to all speak up in unity at the ceremony later.

Subtext: They are all afraid of what Lucius will do if they speak up but if they stick together things will go better.

Hope/Fear: We hope they’re rebellion effort goes well. We fear Lucius will execute them all.

INT. MANSION KITCHEN – NIGHT

The Blackthorns watch the special news report of the war and express their opinion. Lucius becomes threatening.

Scene Arc: They watch the news and whats happening outside the windows. Lucius becomes threatening to Nadia.

Essence: Nadia intentionally pushes her dad to the edge.

Conflict: Will Lucius admit that the Vatican is winning the war against the vampires.

Subtext: Lucius is lying about the war.

Hope: We hope her uncle Vincent takes her side and fear how far Lucius will go.

INT. MANSION DANCE HALL – NIGHT

Nadia has a traumatic episode during her dance performance. She embarrasses her father Lucius.

Scene Arc: Nadia has an episode and embarrasses her father.

Essence: Nadia refuses to complete the ritual.

Conflict: How will Nadia react to her father after remembering he had her mother killed?

Subtext: She finally realizes why she hates vampires, in particular her father.

Fear/Hope: We hope Olivia won’t harm herself and fear how Lucius will react.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Vincent tries to calm Nadia and places her bedroom under guard.

Essence: Olivia feels like a prisoner.

Conflict: What really happened to her mother?

Subtext: She realizes her therapist was actually hypnotizing her to forget what really happened.

Fear/Hope: We hope Olivia will find a way to handle this. We fear what she might do to herself if she can’t.

INT. MANSION DANCE HALL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius argues with a villager and sentences him to death.

Essence: Lucius takes up the war tax from the villagers.

Conflict: Lucius accuses one the village leaders of holding out on the taxes.

Subtext: Lucius has to set an example.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius will forgive the villager and fear he is going to kill the villager.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: They meet in Naia’s room. They discuss what needs to be done if she doesn’t want to become a vampire. Lucius refuses to discuss Nadia’s mother.

Essence: Lucius jokes about how she’d have to kill her grandfather do get rid of the curse.

Conflict: Would Nadia actually try to kill her grandfather?

Subtext: Lucius isn’t really joking about Olivia killing her Grandfather.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia can find a different way to end the curse. We fear she will try and kill her grandfather.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia plans to commit suicide instead of killing her grandfather. But it won’t work on her.

Essence: She leaves a suicide note on her pillow.

Conflict: She has to find a way out of her room.

Subtext: She hopes to same method will work on her.

Hope/Fear: We hope she won’t kill herself but fear for the worse.

INT. SCIENCE LAB – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia orders the scientists to give her the deadman’s blood. She has to change her plan.

Essence: The scientists tell her the blood will only make her sick.

Conflict: She has to find a new plan.

Subtext: She can feed the blood to her grandfather and kill him.

Conflict: The tomb is heavily guarded.

Hope/Fear: We hope she gives up. We fear she will find another way.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Uncle Vincent finds the suicide note and rushes to find her.

Essence: He checks with the guards.

Conflict: She is supposed to be in her room.

Subtext: Vincent traces Nadia through the secret passage.

Hope/Fear: We hope he finds Nadia in time. We fear she is desperate and will try anything.

INT. SCIENCE LAB – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Vincent wants to know how much they told Nadia and what her plans were.

Essence: Vincent finds a trail of blood.

Conflict: He hopes she hasn’t drunk any of it.

Subtext: He finds the remainder of the bag.

Hope/Fear: We hope he finds her. Fear it may be too late.

INT. MANSION SUNROOM – MORNING

Screen Arc: Nadia still plans to kill herself.

Essence: Nadia heads to the sunroom to hide and die in the morning from exposure.

Conflict: She hopes the sun will burn her to death like all vampires.

Subtext: Will the sunlight kill her?

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent will save her but hear he won’t make it in time.

INT. MANSION SUNROOM – MORNING

Scene Arc: Vincent begs Nadia to come from the sunroom before it’s too late.

Essence: He tells her that sunlight won’t kill her.

Conflict: Will he have to risk his life to save her.

Subtext: The sun has risen

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent is wrong we fear he will have to risk his life to save her.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – MORNING

Scene Arc: Nadia fantasizes about going back into the past to kill her grandfather and that would solve everything.

Essence: Vincent gives Nadia her birthday present.

Conflict: She thinks living as a vampire is her only choice.

Subtext: There’s no other way to try and kill herself.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can find a way to be happy. We fear she will find a different way.

INT. MANSION DANCE HALL – MORNING

The remainder of the party goers are retiring to their guest rooms.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – MORNING

Scene Arc: Nadia notices the gift box is glowing. She opens it and pricks her finger on the gift. She falls faint.

Essence: Nadia vanishes from her bedroom.

Conflict: She wakes up right away but not in her room?

Subtext: Someone on a horse is waiting for her.

Hope/Fear: We hope the man on the horse is friendly we fear for the unknown for Nadia.

PAST #1

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION ROAD – DAY

Scene Arc: Slave owner claims Nadia is his runaway slave and demands her back.

Essence: Neighboring Slave owner threatens to whip the slave on horseback if he doesn’t return her.

Conflict: Is Nadia’s life at risk from the slave owner?

Subtext: The other slaves come to the rescue. Creepy crab walk.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will not be next. We fear she is in danger.

PRESENT #2

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Nadia falls to the ground and wakes up in her bedroom. Vincent is shocked.

Essence: Was Nadia dreaming?

Conflict: Vincent doesn’t know how Nadia moved from one side of the room to the other.

Subtext: Nadia tries to explain what happened to Vincent.

Hope/Fear: We hope she doesn’t get trapped in the past and fear it.

INT. ARCHIVE ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Vincent and Nadia search for the name of plantation where her grandfather was a slave.

Essence: She thinks she was there.

Conflict: She thinks she can kill him there.

Subtext: She doesn’t know what he looks like or how to identify him.

Hope/Fear: We wish she would accept who she is. We fear she going to try and kill her grandfather.

INT. MAUSOLEUM GRANDFATHER’S CRYPT – DAY

Scene Arc: Vincent tells Nadia about Josiah’s roots, the first vampire and the truth about her father’s capture by the slavers.

Essence: Vincent doesn’t really want Nadia to kill her grandfather.

Conflict: Killing him may not actually end the curse for Nadia.

Subtext: Nadia still wants to kill her grandfather.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia will listen to Vincent. We fear she may get stuck in the past or make things worse.

PAST #2

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION ROAD – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia hides from slave catchers, looking for three runaways. The man on the horse shows up.

Essence: Nadia hides from the slavers.

Conflict: Will she be caught?

Subtext: She thinks they are looking for her.

Hope/Fear: We fear she will get caught. We hope she is protected.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION ROAD – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Josiah kills the three slave catchers and tells the runaways to come out from hiding.

Essence: Nadia realizes that Josiah is her grandfather and vampire leader.

Conflict: Nadia understands how much everyone loves and appreciates him.

Subtext: She still hates being half vampire and wants to kill him so she can live as a human.

Hope/Fear: We hope she doesn’t have to kill him. We fear they will kill her.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION TOBACCO FIELDS – DAY

Scene Arc: Nadia spends the day talking with Josiah and watching the field hands.

Essence: Nadia wonders how the vampires can work in the fields and not die from exposure.

Conflict: Are they immune from the sun?

Subtext: Josiah has capabilities to cloud the sunlight for protection.

Hope/Fear:

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION FRONT YARD – NIGHT

Scene Arc: A posse of hooded men show up demanding to know what happened to the three slave catchers.

Essence: Are they aware they are up against vampires?

Conflict: Will the vampires expose who they are to the posse?

Subtext: Is Nadia going to witness another human slaughter.

Hope/Fear: We hope the posse will lose the battle. We fear how this will affect Nadia’s opinion of vampires.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION BUSHES – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia hides from everyone until she thinks everyone is settled or asleep. They search for her.

Essence: Will they find her?

Conflict: Will she return to the present?

Subtext: Will she abandon her plan?

Hope/Fear: We hope she doesn’t go back to the present. We fear she will be found.

INT. MANSION LIBRARY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Vincent gathers as much info he can about Savannah 1863.

Essence: He really wants to help Nadia.

Conflict: He doesn’t want her to kill her grandfather.

Subtext: The more informed she is the better she will be able to choose in the end.

Hope/Fear:

INT. JOSIAH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arm: Nadia stands over Josiah while he sleeps holding a machete. She is ready to kill him.

Essence: Will she kill him?

Conflict: Vampires creepy crab walk circle her ready to defend Josiah.

Subtext: Will they kill Nadia to protect Josiah.

Hope/Fear: We hope she won’t be killed. We fear the vampires will kill her.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Vincent waits in Nadia’s room for her to return when he hears Lucius knocking.

Essence: Vincent doesn’t want to be found in Nadia’s room with archive info.

Conflict: He knows how paranoid Lucius is about his and Nadia’s relationship.

Subtext: He has to hide from Lucius.

Hope/Fear: We hope he won’t be found. We fear he will be.

INT. JOSIAH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia notices her name and a prophecy written in her grandfather’s journal.

Essence: He’s been awake the whole time.

Conflict: He was testing Nadia.

Subtext: He’s the reason she is in the past.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia believes her grandfather. We fear she won’t believe him.

INT. JOSIAH’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Josiah shows her the family heirloom and tells her to wear hers always.

Essence: He tells her that he is the one calling her to the past.

Conflict: She thought she was there to kill him.

Subtext: She is there to fulfill a prophecy.

Hope/Fear: We hope she doesn’t have to become a vampire. We fear she might have to.

PRESENT #3

INT. HALLWAY LUCIUS OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Nadia goes to confront Lucius about what she’s learned and over hears him blackmailing a Vatican Cardinal.

Essence: Lucius doesn’t know she can hear the conversation.

Conflict: Will she get caught listening?

Subtext: Can she trust Vincent with this info?

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent won’t turn her in. We fear he will.

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Nadia rushes to tell Vincent what she heard. Vincent doesn’t believe her.

Essence: Vincent is hiding how much he knows.

Conflict: Nadia insists Vincent tell her what he knows.

Subtext: Nadia isn’t sure if she should trust Vincent.

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent will open up. We fear we can’t trust him.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius meets with the disgruntled villager and works out a deal for his freedom.

Essence: Lucius makes a plan to kill his father while he sleeps.

Conflict: Can Lucius be trusted to keep his end of the bargain.

Subtext: Lucius has ulterior motive.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius keeps his word. We fear he won’t.

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arm: Nadia tells Vincent about the journal entry, her name and the prophecy and how Vincent is supposed to be in charge of the family.

Essence: Vincent acts like he knows nothing about the journal entries.

Conflict: More reasons for Nadia to feel she can’t trust Vincent.

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent is trustworthy. We fear he is not.

INT. NADIA’S ROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius finds a scribbled note about a fake journal entry concerning himself and Vincent.

Essence: Lucius becomes suspicious.

Conflict: Lucius knows that Vincent is supposed to be the family head.

Subtext: He becomes paranoid.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius is exposed. We fear he will continue the cover-up.

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia gets angry and clears Vincent’s desk discovering an old photo.

Essence: Why hasn’t she seen this photo before?

Conflict: Why has Vincent hidden this photo?

Subtext: Why does this photo mean so much to Vincent?

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent will tell Nadia the truth. We fear he never will.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE NADIA’S ROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius orders the guards to locate Nadia and bring her to him.

Essence: He wants to question her about the note he found.

Conflict: He thinks Nadia is on to him.

Subtext: What will he do if he finds her.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius doesn’t find her.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius picks up Nadia’s choker. He remembers catching Nadia’s mother and Vincent together.

Essence: Lucius knew about the affair between Vincent and Nadia’s mother.

Conflict: Lucius knows that Nadia is not his daughter.

Subtext: Lucius has always resented Nadia’s existence but holds it over Vincent’s head.

Hope/Fear:

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia and Vincent break into Lucius’ safe and steal the original journal and a thumb drive.

Essence: Nadia wants to prove that Lucius’ journal is a fake.

Conflict: How much longer can Vincent go on pretending not to know anything?

Subtext: Is Vincent going to help Nadia figure out what to do?

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia doesn’t get caught stealing. We fear what she is really going to find on the thumb drive.

INT. JOSIAH’S TOMB – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius gathers a group from the council and catches the villager attempting to kill Josiah.

Essence: Lucius has set a trap for the villager.

Conflict: Lucius has betrayed him, but thinks he’s in on it with Lucius.

Subtext: It was all a show for the council.

Hope/Fear: We hope the council will see the whole thing was a farce. We fear what Lucius will do to the villager. (Side office kill room)

INT. JOSIAH’S TOMB – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius remembers the day his father was captured by the slavers.

Essence: He hates humans.

Conflict: He doesn’t know that it was his father’s plan to be captured and that Vincent has always known.

Subtext: Vampires are superior. Humans are merely a food source.

Hope/Fear:

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia and Vincent watch the video from the thumb drive. She has the journal in her shoulder bag.

Essence: Vincent begs her not to watch the video.

Conflict: Nadia watches the video.

Subtext: She finds out why Vincent didn’t want her to watch it. (emotional break down fight)

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia will recover from what she discovers. We fear she is close to discovering even more truth.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Lucius secretly has the villager moved to his office for a discussion.

Essence: The villager thinks he will be freed and given a reward for following instruction in the ruse.

Conflict: Lucius has a different plan altogether.

Subtext: We find out that Lucius has a secret kill room hidden away in his office. It’s a secret sunroom.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius will let the villager go. We fear a double-cross.

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: The guards show up looking for Nadia. Vincent answers the door.

Essence: Nadia has to be quiet to fool the guards.

Conflict: She is angry and hurt.

Subtext: She has questions for Vincent.

Hope/Fear: We hope the guards don’t find her. We fear the guards will hear her or Vincent will give it away.

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Nadia wants to know about the journal, the picture and what she saw on the thumb drive.

Essence: She is trying to put the pieces together about it.

Conflict: Why would Vincent be so afraid of Lucius?

Subtext: He isn’t afraid for himself.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia figures out that Vincent is her real father. We fear Vincent will continue to lie.

PAST #3

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION – DAY

Scene Arc: Josiah introduces Nadia to the plantation owner and his large family. While the slaves transport large barrels of blood to storage coolers.

Essence: The large family supplies blood for Josiah and the slaves.

Conflict: Sanders family is over ten people.

Subtext: They exchange blood for a guarantee of healthy tobacco crops.

Hope/Fear: We hope this relationship isn’t exposed to the world. We fear what would happen if it was.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius asks the guard to bring his dinner to his office, pre teen, female. He feeds on her.

Scene Arc: Lucius orders dinner and feeds.

Essence: The woman is scared for her life.

Conflict: Vampires didn’t feed directly from humans when Josiah was the Lord.

Subtext: Lucius’ hatred for humans makes the suffering more delicious.

Hope/Fear: We fear for the girls life. We hope Lucius will let her go.

EXT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

The vampire military commander enters the rebel’s home and asks about the encounter with Lucius. No one wants to talk to him.

Scene Arc: The soldier enters the home and wants to know what happened.

Essence: The villagers don’t want to tell him they did not support their leader.

Conflict: They hung the rebel leader out to dry,.

Subtext: they were afraid for their own lives.

Hope/Fear: We hope the soldier won’t give up trying to end the war. We fear Lucius will send his guard to slaughter them all.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius call out to the guard and orders him to clean up his mess. Dispose of the dead body.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION – DAY

A squad of soldiers arrive. They gather all the slaves outside and announce that they are hereby free.

Scene Arc: Nadia witnesses Captain Stanley make an announcement.

Essence: Captain Stanley announces that all slaves are free by the Emancipation Proclamation.

Conflict: The slaves do not respond like they should.

Subtext: The soldiers are actually suspect a vampire nest.

Hope/Fear: We hope the slaves take advantage of freedom. We fear they don’t understand.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION SOLDIER’S CAMP – NIGHT

The soldiers are baffled about the slaves lack of reaction. They become skeptical.

Scene Arc: Soldiers camp out. They are skeptical about the slaves lack of enthusiasm.

Essence: They are used to seeing slaves revolt upon hearing the news.

Conflict: What does this mean to the soldiers.

Subtext: They come to the conclusion that these slaves are vampires and are holding the slave master’s family hostage.

Hope/Fear: We fear they will kill the slave vampires. We hope Josiah’s group are keen to them.

INT. SANDERS PLANTATION PARLOR – DAY

Nadia is formally introduced to Captain Stanley. Right away Stanley has feelings for Nadia.

Scene Arc: Nadia meets the captain. He falls for her.

Essence: Is he being honest?

Conflict: Does he suspect Nadia knows something?

Subtext: Does he think Nadia can lead his squad to the lead vampire?

Hope/Fear: We hope he doesn’t find out about Nadia and Josiah’s true identity. We fear what he will do if he does.

Present #4

INT. MANSION ARCHIVE ROOM – NIGHT

Nadia and Vincent study the vampire archives for 1863. They discover a number of revelations and secrets.

Scene Arc: In the archive room they discover history and secrets.

Essence: They discover that some soldiers are vampire hunters.

Conflict: Neither the archive or journal mention captain Stanley’s name.

Subtext: How can Nadia find out for sure.

Hope/Fear: We hope they are not vampire hunters. We fear Nadia won’t find out in time to stop them.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION SOLDIER’S CAMP – DAY

The soldiers interrogate and torture a few captured slaves. They don’t get anywhere.

Scene Arc: Soldiers capture and torture slaves over who the leader is.

Essence: Stanley want’s to know who the lead vampire is.

Conflict: The slaves won’t talk.

Subtext: They plan to kill all the vampires.

Hope/Fear: We fear they will kill their captive. We hope they don’t find out about Josiah.

INT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Nadia and Vincent talk about her having possible powers in the past. He suggests that the power of glamming would help her.

Scene Arc: They talk about her powers and how to use glamming.

Essence: Nadia needs to find out for sure if Stanley is a vampire hunter.

Conflict: She will have to use vampire powers if possible.

Subtext: In the present she has no vampire powers as a half vampire.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia can use her powers. We fear she will have to become a vampire to use them.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius tells one of the guards to have 4 of the council members to meet in his office. He calls for the Vampire Military Leader as well.

Scene Arc: Lucius calls for a meeting between him and those he is sure will oppose him as leader.

Essence: He wants to give them an ultimate choice.

Conflict: He wants to know how they will vote.

Subtext: Surrender their vote or else.

Hope/Fear: We hope they will stand their ground. We fear what will happen if they do.

PAST #4

EXT. PLANTATION ROAD – NIGHT

Nadia wakes up in the bushes by the road. Josiah is waiting for her. He tells her that members of his coven have gone missing.

Scene Arc: Nadia and Josiah meet on the road. She finds out people are missing.

Essence: Nadia suggests that Stanley and his squad are actually vampire hunters.

Conflict: Nadia has to know for sure.

Subtext: She hopes she can use full vampire powers while in the past.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia can use vampire powers. We fear what will happen if she can’t.

INT. JOSIAH’S PARLOR ROOM – NIGHT

Josiah suggests a way for Nadia’s vampire powers might be able to work. If so, she can glam Captain Stanley.

Scene Arc: Nadia may be able to achieve full vampire powers to find out about Stanley.

Essence: Nadia will have to drink pure vampire blood from Josiah.

Conflict: Drinking pure vampire blood as a half human might turn Nadia into a full vampire.

Subtext: Nadia does not want to become a full vampire. She’d rather die.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

The 4 vampire council members meet in Lucius’ office. As they discuss Lucius’ plan for the vote and his promise to end the war, Major General Tillman enters the room.

Scene Arc: The 4 and Lucius discuss the future when MG Tillman arrives.

Essence: Lucius invites the 4 into what he calls the inner meeting room.

Conflict: Lucius wants to talk with Tillman in private.

Subtext: Lucius knows that Tillman has betrayed him.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius doesn’t find out about the betrayal. We fear what will happen if he does.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

The 4 council members are comfortably seated in the side sun room. Lucius shuts the door on them and turns on the wall light switch. He sinks his teeth into the neck of Tillman.

Scene Arc: Lucius burns the 4 council members alive and learns the truth from the blood of Tillman.

Essence: Lucius kills all those who oppose his coup and finds out the truth about the village rebels.

Conflict: Lucius doesn’t want anyone to know about his side kill room and what happened to the council members.

Hope/Fear: We fear for the villagers now that Lucius knows about them.

EXT. REBEL VILLAGER HOME – NIGHT

Lucius’ royal guards gather all the rebels onto the street and execute them.

Scene Arc: Lucius’ guards arrive and then kill the rebels.

Essence: They put an end to any rebellion.

Conflict: Lucius has no more opposition.

Subtext: If he has to he will also have Nadia put to death.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius won’t kill Nadia. We fear he will kill anyone in his way.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius searches his safe for the journal and discovers that the thumb drive is missing. He summons Vincent to his office.

Scene Arc: Lucius becomes very paranoid about Vincent and Nadia when he discovers items missing from his safe.

Essence: These items need to be destroyed.

Conflict: Will he have to kill Nadia and Vincent?

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia will be safe. We fear she is in danger from Lucius.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION SOLDIER’S CAMP – DAY

Nadia and Captain Stanley spend romantic time together but Stanley recognizes that he is being controlled by magic.

Scene Arc: Stanley is glammed by Nadia.

Essence: Nadia’s glam power works.

Conflict: Stanley imagines her as a ballerina and then kissing her.

Subtext: It’s all happening in his mind.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s not discovered. We fear what will happen if Stanley wakes up.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION SOLDIER’S CAMP – DAY

Nadia can see deeply into Stanley’s eyes while he dreams. She sees that he and his squad are doubling as vampire hunters.

Scene Arc: Nadia sees into Stanley’s violent past.

Essence: She knows that he intends to kill Josiah and has killed the others.

Conflict: Nadia needs to kill her grandfather herself to be free of the curse.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia will decide not to kill her grandfather. We fear Stanley will kill him first.

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION SOLDIER’S CAMP – DAY

Stanley snaps out of the dream and discovers that Nadia has controlled him. He has her locked up in a secure tent.

Scene Arc: Stanley recovers and has Nadia locked up.

Essence: Stanley thinks there is something strange about Nadia.

Conflict: He isn’t sure what to do about her.

Hope/Fear: We hope he doesn’t torture Nadia. We fear what he will do to her.

EXT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius’ guards are at Vincent’s office door with orders to escort him to Lucius.

Scene Arc: Guards escort Vincent to Lucius.

Essence: Lucius wants to question Vincent.

Conflict: Vincent is paranoid.

Hope/Fear:

EXT. SANDERS PLANTATION SOLDIER’S CAMP – DAY

Nadia, being held in a secure tent travels to the present while Stanley questions her.

Scene Arc: Nadia travels while Stanley watches.

Essence: Stanley is shocked.

Conflict: Nadia knows she will have to kill him now.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia will kill Stanley before it’s too late.

PRESENT #5

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius accuses Vincent of conspiring against him. He sends the guards to locate Nadia

Scene Arc: Lucius and Vincent talk about his betrayal and sends for Nadia.

Essence: Lucius wants to know where the items from his safe are.

Conflict: He’s sure that Nadia and Vincent are planning something.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia and Vincent will be safe. We fear for their death.

EXT. NADIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

The guards knock on Nadia’s door and ask her to come out so they can escort her to Lucius’ office.

Scene Arc: Nadia is escorted to Lucius’ office.

Essence: Lucius wants to question them both.

Conflict: It’s an ambush.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia won’t vanish in front of Lucius. We fear she might.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius tells Nadia and Vincent his plan to become head of the family and his plans to end the war.

Scene Arc: They meet and discuss the future with Lucius in charge.

Essence: What does that mean for Josiah’s awakening?

Conflict: Josiah is supposed to awaken soon to resume leadership of the family.

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent will object. We fear Lucius will use the kill room on them both.

PAST #5

EXT. PLANTATION ROAD – NIGHT

Josiah isn’t there to greet Nadia on the road. Nadia looks and sees parts of the plantation on fire and runs toward the fire.

Scene Arc: Nadia arrives in the past to find the plantation on fire.

Essence: Nadia feels obligated to help.

Conflict: Stanley has begun a full on attack with crucifix’s, holy water, torches and stakes.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia can save Josiah. We fear what might happen.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius demands to know where Nadia has gone to. He has the guards search for her.

* MONTAGE

Guards searching all over.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Lucius orders Vincent to gather the remaining council members to the hall for a vote. Vincent demands Nadia be present. Lucius forces Vincent into the kill room. He sets the timer for the Ultraviolet light beam.

Scene Arc: Lucius orders Vincent. Vincent refuses. Lucius forces Vincent into the secret kill room.

Essence: Vincent doesn’t know it’s a kill room.

Conflict: Will Lucius kill Vincent.

Hope/Fear: We hope Vincent isn’t killed. We fear he will be.

EXT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE HALLWAY – NIGHT

Lucius orders the guards to round up the council members and take them to the meeting hall.

* MONTAGE

Guards rounding up the members to the hall.

EXT. JOSIAH’S HOME – NIGHT

Nadia sees the slaves have been beheaded and most of the dead soldiers but she can’t find Stanley’s body.

Scene Arc: Nadia counts the dead slaves and soldiers but can’t find Stanley.

Essence: She has to find Stanley and Josiah.

Conflict: She can’t let Josiah be killed.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia has a change of heart. We fear she may have to become a full vampire.

INT. MANSION MEETING HALL – NIGHT

Lucius has all the council members gathered for a vote. Lucius speaks about ending the war if he is made Lord/Ruler.

Scene Arc: Lucius calls the meeting to order and demands a vote.

Essence: Lucius tries to convince everyone that he can end the war if he’s Lord.

Conflict: Vincent wants more than anything to expose his corruption.

Hope/Fear: We hope Lucius well be exposed. We fear he will win again.

INT. MANSION MEETING HALL – NIGHT

There’s a pounding at the entrance doors. The remainder of the villagers arrive. The Vatican soldiers are at the edge of town.

Scene Arc: The villagers speak and tell everyone how close the battle is.

Essence: There has to be peace or they all will die.

Conflict: The villagers don’t want Lucius voted in as Lord.

Hope/Fear: We hope the villagers are successful. We fear Lucius will ignore them.

INT. JOSIAH’S PARLOR ROOM – NIGHT

Nadia enters Josiah’s house. He been wounded and close to death. Stanley is going to finish him off. Josiah tells Nadia to bite Stanley.

Scene Arc: Josiah is dying at the hands of Stanley. Nadia is the only one who can save him.

Essence: Nadia has to kill Stanley

Conflict: If Nadia bites a human she will become a full vampire.

Hope/Fear: We hope Nadia will save his life. We fear she will become what she hates most.

INT. JOSIAH’S PARLOR ROOM – NIGHT

Nadia and Josiah talk about what needs to happen next. Nadia returns to the present.

PRESENT #6

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

* MONTAGE

1. Nadia searching the mansion for Vincent

2. Guards searching the mansion for Nadia.

3. Nadia sneaks into Lucius’ office, finds Vincent.

INT. LUCIUS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

Nadia eludes the guards search and finds Vincent trapped in Lucius’ kill room. She can see a bit of light coming from a partially left open observation slide. The ultraviolet light has been triggered.

Scene Arc: Nadia in Lucius’ office. She sees light emitting from a crack. She discovers Vincent close to being fried by the sun.

Essence: She has to free Vincent.

Conflict: She has to find the opening to the secret door panel.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can free Vincent. We fear the sun will kill him.

INT. MANSION MEETING HALL – NIGHT

The villagers complain about how close the battle is. They want to know why there are no troops on the boarder. They demand for the peace treaty is signed.

Scene Arc: Villagers are afraid. They arrive and demand that the peace treaty is signed.

Essence: The war is lost.

Conflict: Lucius won’t sign the peace agreement unless he is voted in as permanent Lord.

Hope/Fear:

INT. MANSION MAUSOLEUM – NIGHT

Vincent, Nadia, the two scientists waken Josiah and free him from his crypt.

Scene Arc: Josiah is awakened and taken to the meeting hall.

Essence: Josiah needs to assume his duty as Lord before it’s too late.

Conflict: If the council votes it will be too late.

Hope/Fear: We hope Josiah can make it there in time. We fear Lucius will become Lord.

INT. MEETING HALL – NIGHT

Nadia, Vincent and the Two Scientists bring Josiah into the meeting hall in wheelchair. The room goes quiet. Josiah stands and walks on his own to the high seat. Everyone in the room falls to a knee position except Lucius.

Scene Arc: Josiah assumes command of the vampire families. Lucius is escorted to the prison.

Essence: Josiah has to sign the peace treaty asap.

Conflict: The vampires have lost the war and will need something to bargain for peace.

Hope/Fear: We hope there will be peace. We fear maybe not.

INT. MANSION HALLWAY – DAY

Lucius attacks and kills the guard escort and flees to his office. He hides out in the kill room.

Scene Arc: Lucius escapes the guard to hide out in his office.

Essence: Lucius is humiliated and will get the death penalty

Conflict: Lucius would rather take his own life.

INT. DINING HALL – DAY

The news report that the war is over and the Vatican and vampires are negotiating a peace deal. He also announces a Juneteenth parade schedule and route.

Scene Arc: The war is over and it’s Juneteenth.

Essence: Josiah will meet with members of the Vatican.

Conflict: Nadia is unfamiliar with Junteenth and asks what it is.

Hope/Fear: We hope the peace will last. We fear Nadia has upset history.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Intriguing Moments

2. Give us a one sentence explanation of the intriguing moments in each Act of your project. Like the example above.

ACT 1

Intrigue:
Why is the TV reporter lying about the war effort? <div>

Secret:
Lucius knows the vampires are losing the war to the Vatican.

Covert
agenda: Lucius jokingly tells his daughter how to rid herself of the
family curse.
Hidden
identity

Conspiracy
Scheme:
Nadia schemes to kill her grandfather in his tomb. And later plans to
commit suicide.

Superior
position: The scientists think the poison is for Lucuius but it’s really
for her grandfather. The audience knows.

Cover
up: There is a long standing cover up concerning Lucius the death of
Nadia’s mother and the human food processing plant.

Mystery:
Why is Vincent so complacent? Why is Lucius offended by Nadia’s choker and
bracelet?

ACT 2

Intrigue:
Nadia time travels from her locked room. </div><div>

Secret:
Only Nadia and Vincent know about the time traveling and her attempted
suicide. Lucius secret meet with the Vatican.

Covert
agenda: to kill her grandfather.

Hidden
identity: Josiah hides his identity from Nadia.

Conspiracy:
Vincent knows about Nadia’s plan but hopes she will change her mind. They
conspire to steal from Lucius.

Scheme:
to find out who her grandfather is and kill him.

Superior
position: The man on the horse knows that Nadia has time traveled but she
does not
Cover
up: The slaves feed on the three horsemen and bury their bodies. Later the
slaves feed on the angry mob and then burn and bury the remains.

Mystery: Nadia discovers the true reason of her time traveling. Vincent won’t tell Nadia why about anything.

ACT 3

Intrigue:
Lucius calls for a secret meeting. </div><div>

Secret:Lucius
has a secret side kill room in his office.

Covert
agenda: Lucius wants an early vote.

Hidden
identity

Conspiracy:
Nadia and Vincent try to get support to overthrow Lucius.

Scheme:
Nadia glams Stanley to get the truth.

Superior
position: We know that captain Stanley is a vampire hunter.

Cover
up

· Mystery

ACT 4

Intrigue:
Vincent won’t tell Lucius where Nadia went. </div><div>

Secret:
Nadia has the original journal.

Covert
agenda: Vincent as family head.

Hidden
identity: Nadia is actually half vampire with powers.

Conspiracy:
Nadia plans to have Vincent placed as family leader.
Scheme:
They continue with the coup.
Superior
position
Cover
up

· Mystery: why weren’t all the vampires freed in 1863

3. For any Acts that don’t have at least two intriguing moments, brainstorm how you could create more for that Act.

</div>

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Query Letter

Hello Producer,

Genre: Syfy Horror Action

Title: The Vatican Order

Written by: Tony J Scott

A Vatican Priest with an executioner affinity.

In a near future, as a retired Priest, Father Julian Davenport spends most days ignoring his ghosts and trying to quit smoking. What happens when he gets called back to duty by the Vatican and ordered to kill illegal vampires?

Once he starts killing he can’t stop himself.

Julian figures out that he is stuck in a time loop. He has to figure out how to save his niece, Olivia, stop the time loop and protect his biggest secret.

Never trust a priest.

The Vatican neglect to mention that Julian is being hunted by a Killer Monk with orders to clean up all loose ends. How long will it take before the hunter becomes the hunted and for his betrayers to reap what they sew?

He discovers in the end that his ultimate sacrifice means everything and nothing is more important than family.

If you are interested, contact me and I’ll send the screenplay.

Thank you.

Tony has a BA in Religious Studies and has self published two Religious syfy novels.

Mrtonyscott311@gmail.com

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Synopsis Hooks

Title: The Vatican Order

Written by: Tony J Scott

Genre: Syfy Horror Action

A Vatican Priest with an executioner affinity.

For a retired, remorseful Priest, Father Julian Davenport, who spends most days ignoring his ghosts and trying to quit smoking gets called back to duty by the Vatican and ordered to kill illegal vampires.

Never trust a priest.

The Vatican neglect to mention that he’s also being hunted by a Killer Monk with orders to clean up all loose ends. How long will it take before the hunter becomes the hunted and for his betrayers to reap what they sew?

Once he starts killing he can’t stop himself.

What’s worse is he comes to find out that he is stuck in a time loop. He has to figure out how to save his niece, Olivia, stop the time loop and protect his biggest secret.

He discovers in the end that his ultimate sacrifice means everything and nothing is more important than family.

Tony has self published two Religious syfy novels.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott High Concept/Elevator Pitch

HIGH CONCEPT: In a near future when humans and vampires coexist, and the Vatican/Vampire peace agreement is broken, what happens when a Vatican priest is ordered to execute vampires created illegally?

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Father Julian Davenport, trapped in a time loop, is hunted by a killer monk. Can he end the time loop, save the life of his precious niece and protect his biggest secret.

ELEVATOR PITCH: A Priest ordered to execute illegal vampires, discovers he’s killed his niece.

COMP: Underworld meets Live Die Repeat

Dilemma: To end the time loop should he take his own life or perform a Holy Ritual on his niece.

What’s at Stake: The life of his niece.

Unique: Father Julian is stuck in a time loop. He’s murdering innocent victims as well as being hunted.

Main Conflict: How to end the time loop and save his niece’s life.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Marketing Components

I learned that marketing your project has rules and it’s strictly business. Don’t take it personal.

· Genre: Scyfy Action Horror

· The Vatican Order

· MAJOR STORY HOOK: When the Vatican/Vampire peace terms are broken, a retired Vatican priest, Father Julian Davenport, trapped in a time loop, is ordered to murder all illegal vampires while being hunted by a killer monk. Can he end the time loop, save the life of his precious niece and protect his biggest secret.

Unique: This is a unique take on a vampire story as well as time loop story.

Great Title: The title tells us immediately about the main character. You don’t have to wait till act 2 to understand it.

Timely: Story involves self hatred, drug addiction, religion and politics.

Ultimate: It’s a world-building project where vampires and humans coexist.

Wide Audience Appeal: The story is about loving someone so much you’d die for them, betrayal and loads of action.

Similar: Live Die Repeat, Underworld Series.

Great Roles for Bankable Actors:

· Father Julian, a retired, remorseful and penitent priest separated from his family because of dark reasons beyond his control but has a love for family that is unbreakable.

· Olivia, sure of herself to confused as all hell to the point of hating herself and ready end it all who loves her uncle more than herself.

· Killer Monk, traumatized as a child and hates vampires with a passion but witty while killing his victims.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Project and Market

What I learned, find someone who wants to read it and someone who has the means to make it and you’re on the way to completion.

1.

· Genre: Scyfy Action Horror

· The Vatican Order

· MAJOR STORY HOOK: When the Vatican/Vampire peace terms are broken, a retired Vatican priest, Father Julian Davenport, trapped in a time loop, is ordered to murder all illegal vampires while he’s secretly being hunted by a killer monk. Can he end the time loop, save the life of his precious niece and protect his biggest secret.

2.

· The loving relationship between a retired killer Vatican Priest and his defiant vampire niece stuck in a violent time loop that he has to figure how to end before he’s forced to kill her again. She’s like the daughter he’s always wanted and the father she wishes she had.

3.

I plan to target producers. I don’t want a manager and an actor company seems self contained. Producers may have more connections. My second choice would be an actor company.

[Tony Scott]

1. Name? Tony J Scott

2. How many scripts you’ve written? Two features and a few shorts.

3. What you hope to get out of the class? Become a great screenplay writer who can sell scripts.

4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I’m an actor, army vet, and ballroom dancer.

We look forward to working with you all!

[Tony Scott]

As a member of this group, I Tony J Scott agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Basic Plotting

I learned that stories are not thought out in dreams and inspirations. Stories are created through order, formula and structure.

· HIGH CONCEPT: In a world where the Vatican is winning the war against the Vampires a young black woman, half human and half vampire, must fulfill prophesy by traveling back and forth through time to Savannah Ga, 1863 to kill her slave ancestor, break her family curse and lead the future peace agreement.

· MAIN CONFLICT: The Vampires are losing the war to The Vatican and though she’d rather die than become a full on vampire, Nadia must fulfill a prophecy, over throw her father to help lead the world into peace.

Old Ways: self hatred, out spoken, sickly, hates her heritage, disobedient, hates the world she lives in.

New Ways: Loves herself, proud, victorious leader, the one to lead the world to peace, proud of her heritage.

Core Traits: Intelligent, determined, compassionate, but impulsive and defiant.

4-Act Structure:

ACT 1:

Opening: It’s Nadia’s 21^st birthday party and transformation celebration (“Usiku wa Kinyonga).” She is to turn from half human and half vampire to full vampire. This transformation demands that she bite a human and drink human blood.

However after a memory is triggered about how human captives are treated, and what happened to her mother, she refuses to go through with the transformation. She doesn’t want to become a vampire. She secretly plans to commit suicide.

Inciting Incident: Nadia is deceived by her conniving father and discovers a way to end the curse for her. She is caught by her uncle trying to permanently end the life of her vampire grandfather who is currently lying in a sleep state in the family mausoleum until a time pre-determined.

Turning Point: Nadia finally remembers what happened to her mother and it’s not the lie her father told her years ago.

2. starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.

Genre: Syfy Drama Horror

Act 1: Nadia wants her father to end the war with the Vatican.

Inciting Incident: The TV broadcast states that the vampires are winning the war but Nadia, looking out the window, and everyone else can see the war waging closer to the Vampire city limits daily.

Nadia PJ: Nadia voices her opposition about the war and that her father should sign the peace agreement before they are all wiped out. Not that she cares but she is thinking about her uncle.

Lucius AJ: Reminds her of the tv broadcaster’s report.

Nadia PJ: mentions how every vampire killed makes the humans stronger in battle.

Vincent TC: Agrees.

Lucius AJ: Assures them his scientists all agree they are just rumors.

Nadia PJ: reminds Lucius that he keeps the scientists locked away in a dungeon lab.

Deeper Layer: Lucius knows they are losing the war but doesn’t care.

Deeper Layer: Nadia, for reasons unknown to her, hates being half vampire and wants to live her life as a human.

Nadia PJ: Mentions how things would be different if her mother were still here.

Reveal: Lucius gives us a glimpse of Nadia’s mother’s last day with them, running for her life and being carried off in a Black Suv.

Lucius AJ: Lies about Nadia’s mother abandoning them and lashes out angrily about how Nadia fiddles with her red bracelet when she is stressed.

Deeper Layer: Lucius feels guilt when Nadia plays with her red bracelet. Her Mom had one just like it.

Lucius AJ: Agrees to talk more about Nadia’s peace concerns after the celebration is over.

LATER:

Nadia PJ: Nadia has a traumatic memory triggered during her Usiku wa Kinyonga.” party.

Inciting Incident: Human bodies are brought into the banquet hall by the serving staff and hung 2-3 bodies on display at each dining table. They are served as human blood fountains to the vampires.

Deeper Layer: This is how Nadia remembers seeing her human mother the last time she saw her and before her memory was suppressed.

Inciting Incident: Nadia refuses to continue with the ritual of her full vampire assimilation.

Nadia PJ: Nadia confronts her father, embarrasses him at her coming out celebration. She storms off.

Vincent TC: shows up to Nadia’s room and places her under guard.

Lucius AJ: Takes up the offering for the war effort from the town’s vampire citizens.

They argue:

Lucius AJ: In anger, has an attendee thrown in prison and sentenced to death during the party.

Deeper Layer: Lucius is caught in a lie but won’t admit he’s wrong about the war effort.

Lucius AJ: After the party, He scolds Nadia for embarrassing him in front of the villagers and the higher ups attending the party.

Nadia PJ: brings up her mother again. (Psychiatrist).

Deeper Layer: She figures out it’s why she hates vampires.

Lucius AJ: Jokes with Nadia about killing her grandfather while he sleeps.

Cat in the window: Dancing after the dinner ends, ongoing entertainment.

Vincent TC: Uncle tries to comfort Nadia. He explains what Lucius meant about the rumor of breaking the curse.

Lucius AJ: gives Vincent a threatening look.

Deeper Layer: Lucius is not really joking.

Nadia PJ: meets with the mansion scientists who agree because they think Nadia will use it on her father who they hate.

Nadia PJ: Takes an IV bag of dead man’s blood to her grandfather’s crypt to kill him. The crypt is guarded 24/7.

Inciting incident: attempts suicide.

Vincent TC: Saves Nadia from burning alive. He explains why it wouldn’t work.

Vincent TC: Nadia would have to go back in time to do it if it were possible.

Turning Point: Vincent gives Nadia a family heirloom. It glows but only she can see it.

Deeper layer: In reality Nadia really just wished that her father wasn’t in charge. Now she truly hates him. She really wants peace with the humans.

· Act 2 Nadia begins to time travel so she can kill her grandfather.

New Plan: Nadia discovers the location of her vampire patriarchal ancestor in the year 1863 and plans to time travel to kill him on the plantation where he is a slave. Her ancestor has to die by her hands, a blood relative, to break the curse.

Plan in Action: To find out who her ancestor is and kill him. Nadia thinks she has to fit in with the slaves on the plantation deceiving the slaves and the slave masters.

Midpoint Turning point: Nadia discovers that the kindest person on the plantation, the one elder she is most fond of is her ancestor that she has to kill.

Nadia PJ: Nadia is being held prisoner in her guarded room.

Inciting incident: Nadia time travels for the first time.

1. Travel to past

Vincent TC: Is in the room when it happens.

Nadia PJ: Is met in the bushes by the side of the road by a black man on a horse. She is expected.

Deeper Layer: Nadia doesn’t know where she is or how she got there or if she is dreaming or that the stranger on the horse is her grandfather.

Nadia PJ: questions the stranger and gets some answers.

Deeper Layer: The stranger answers as if he was expecting the questions.

Nadia PJ: remembers some of her vampire history and asks about Josiah. Gets no answer. Not polite to ask.

Nadia PJ: Riding on the horse, she gets a tour and watches as the slaves work the tobacco fields on a cloudy day.

Deeper Layer: Josiah doesn’t want Nadia to know who he really is yet.

Inciting Incident: A neighboring plantation owner confronts Josiah and demands the return of a runaway. He Threatens him with a whip. He’s surrounded and killed by slave vampires.

1. Return to present

Nadia PJ: Returns to the present.

Deeper layer: She notices that the stranger is wearing the same family heirloom.

Vincent TC: Is hysterical about how she moved from one place to another without being able to see her and her being half human.

Deeper Layer: Whenever Nadia returns to the present she is always laying down asleep and has to wake up.

Nadia PJ: Explains what happened.

Deeper Layer: She thinks it was all a dream.

Nadia PJ: and Vincent go to visit grandfather’s crypt.

Vincent TC: tells her the truth about how her father was captured by the slavers and taken to the colonies.

Deeper Layer: it’s a secret he’s kept from Lucius.

Nadia PJ: doubles down. Her grandfather has to die.

Vincent TC: realizes he’s now talking to himself.

Nadia PJ: hears Vincent mention something about a journal.

2. Travel to past

Nadia PJ: In the bushes by the road. She hears slave catchers on horseback.

Inciting Incident: Nadia watches as the kind stranger/Josiah deals with the slave catchers and their horses and three runaways.

Deeper Layer: she still hasn’t found out Josiah yet.

Inciting Incident: William Sanders plantation is surrounded by hooded night riders with torches. Josiah leads the other vampires to battle.

Turning Point: Nadia is convinced that the kind stranger from the road is actually Josiah, her grandfather.

Nadia PJ: hides out and hopes she doesn’t leave until she can kill Josiah.

Nadia PJ: Nadia stands over her sleeping grandfather holding a machete and has a chance to kill him but she notices her name written in his journal next to a prophecy.

Deeper Layer: Nadia doesn’t know that her grandfather is causing her to time travel.

Nadia PJ: her and Josiah have the talk.

Nadia PJ: Notices the entry in the original journal, Vincent is the true heir.

2. Travel to present

Lucius AJ: He has a secret meeting with a Vatican member about the processing plant and the war. Nadia over hears the conversation. Nadia overhears the zoom meet

Nadia PJ: hears that Vincent knows everything about everything and is very upset.

Vincent TC: He won’t tell her why he went along with Lucius’ plans.

Turning Point: Nadia feels she can no longer trust Uncle Vincent.

Deeper Layer: Vincent is not Nadia’s uncle but is her father but can’t tell her in order to save her life.

Nadia PJ: confronts Vincent again and tells him about the journal entry. She figures out that Vincent already knows.

Nadia PJ: Waits for a response, has to figure it out herself. It all makes sense now.

Deeper layer: Nadia always wondered why she seemed so much closer to her uncle than her own father.

Nadia PJ: Nadia needs the journal with the fake entry to make a plan.

Nadia PJ: She convinces Vincent to gather what allies he can before Lucius goes further with his plans.

Lucius AJ: He’s confused when he finds out that Nadia is not in her room where she should be or anywhere in the mansion.

Inciting Incident: Lucius reads a note about a fake entry in his father’s historic recorded journal and the word prophecy.

Character Connection: Staring at a photo, he has a triggered flashback about the affair between Nadia’s mother and his brother Vincent.

Journal/Thumb drive

Nadia PJ: steals the fake journal and a thumb drive from Lucius’ safe.

Nadia PJ: her and Vincent read the original journal.

Nadia PJ: watches the video of her mother’s death with Vincent in his office.

Vincent TC: knows what’s on the video.

· Act 3 Nadia falls for the soldier

Rethink Everything: Nadia is back to the present and researches the vampire archives. She wonders why her father is in the leader of the Vampire covens and not her uncle who is older.

New Plan: Nadia realizes that it is her great elder, Josiah Freeman, who is calling her back to the past for a reason, to fulfill a prophecy in the future. “From future’s past will peace come.”

Turning Point: Vampire Hunters arrive at the plantation operating as Emancipation Proclamators who go from one plantation to another spreading the news of freedom but also killing vampires along the way.

Lucius AJ: Has a prisoner attempt to kill his father but catches him in the act. Betrayal.

Deeper layer: Lucius stages the murder attempt to show he is a hero and worthy leader.

Character Connection: Standing over his father’s crypt he has a flashback to when his father was abducted by slave hunters.

Lucius AJ: kills the villager in the sun room and makes a big show of it.

3. Travel to past.

Nadia PJ: She returns to the plantation to find Northern Soldiers there to announce the emancipation proclamation to the slaves.

Nadia PJ: She has romantic feelings for Cpt. Sherman.

Nadia PJ: She and Josiah talk more. Prophecy, The Caves, The curse.

Nadia PJ: meets William Sanders and his very large wealthy family.

3. Travel to present

Nadia PJ: She and Vincent research the vampire archives and finds out all slaves were free in 1863 and that there were vampire hunters during the civil war doubling as soldiers.

Cpt. Sherman: Tortures one of the slaves. Why won’t the slaves leave the plantation since they are free?

Vincent TC: finally explains that he has betrayed his brother twice and deserves a chance.

4 Travel to past.

Nadia PJ: Nadia finds out that slaves of the plantation are missing and presumed dead.

Nadia PJ: Spend intimate time together.

Inciting Incident: Cpt. Sherman reveals to Nadia his secret.

Turning Point: Cpt. Sherman has to detain Nadia when it’s feared that she will warn the vampires.

4 Travel to present.

Nadia PJ: Escapes captivity by returning to the present.

Deeper Layer: Nadia was hoping that Cpt. Sherman wasn’t a vampire hunter.

Lucius AJ: Calls a hurried meeting for a vote to take over the family officially. He assures them he will call for peace when he is made permanent head ruler.

Inciting Incident: Vincent, in confidence, demands that Nadia be present for the vote.

Lucius AJ: sends Vincent off to locate Nadia.

Lucius AJ: During the meeting a war general reports the war on the front lines and the outcome to Lucius and others.

Lucius AJ: has the general and others at the meeting secretly killed in his side office.

Lucius AJ: bites the general, gets a firsthand look at the war from his pov and then throws him in the office sun room.

Lucius AJ: Discusses what needs to happen when Nadia disappears in front of Lucius.

5 Travel to past.

Turning Point: Lucius interrogates Vincent.

Lucius AJ: throws Vincent in the secret side sun office. He thinks Vincent and Nadia are up to something.

Deeper Layer: Lucius can’t bring himself to kill his brother but leaves him there.

Turning Point: Lucius can’t find his father’s original journal with the fake entry.

Lucius AJ: He has the guards search the whole mansion for Nadia but she can’t be found.

Deeper Layer: Lucius is afraid that Vincent is going to tell everyone the truth.

· ACT 4 Dilemma, Nadia becomes a fully fledged vampire.

Climax: Nadia has to kill her ancestor before Cpt. Stanley can or she will live her life as a vampire in the present. She has to save her ancestor’s life by killing the soldiers.

Resolution: After the soldiers are all dead, Nadia can’t bring herself to kill her ancestor. She embraces who she is and falls in love with her history and family heritage. She discovers her grandfather’s true journal that records that Vincent should be the head of the Vampire Covens in her grandfather’s absence. She returns to the present and leads the Vatican/Vampire peace accord.

She searches the history books to now discover that the freedom news never reached the slaves in Texas for another two years because she killed the emancipation proclamators before they could reach Texas delaying freedom for over 250000 slaves.

THE PLANTATION IS UNDER ATTACK

Turning Point: Nadia realizes she has full vampire benefits when in the past.

Inciting Incident: Nadia feels she has to save her grandfather when she discovers most of the clan is dead. He’s cornered and injured.

Nadia PJ: shows up in time to save her grandfather from the fate of the vampire hunters.

Nadia PJ: She has to bite Cpt. Sherman, killing him and the other soldiers.

Nadia PJ: she can see his whole history of killing vampires while she drinks his blood.

Nadia PJ: Nadia because she has finally killed a human becomes a full time vampire.

Nadia PJ: Nadia returns to her time and brings her grandfather’s original journal.

5 Travel to present

Inciting incident: She proves to the Vampire Council that Lucius has deceived them all and that Vincent should be the interim head of the Vampires.

Deeper Layer: There can now be peace, the war will end.

Lucius AJ: Has been secretly putting dissenters in the dungeon jail and sentenced to death.

Lucius AJ: He escapes from jail and walks into the sunroom. Suicide.

Inciting Incident: Vincent is voted in as head.

Inciting Incident: The Vatican/Vampire peace Council is formed.

Vincent TC: The Vatican/Vampire Peace accord is broadcast on every Media Channel. Vampires and Humans formation up and march away. Surviving humans are released from the food processing plants.

Nadia PJ: finds out that she has altered history and that over 250K slaves in Texas were never freed because she killed the soldiers.

Vincent doesn’t know that she is referring to Juneteenth.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Beat sheet 1

I learned that stories are not thought out in dreams and inspirations. Stories are created through order, formula and structure.

· HIGH CONCEPT: In a world where the Vatican is winning the war against the Vampires a young black woman, half human and half vampire, must fulfill prophesy by traveling back and forth through time to Savannah Ga, 1863 to kill her slave ancestor, break her family curse and lead the future peace agreement.

· MAIN CONFLICT: The Vampires are losing the war to The Vatican and though she’d rather die than become a full on vampire, Nadia must fulfill a prophecy, over throw her father to help lead the world into peace.

Old Ways: self hatred, out spoken, sickly, hates her heritage, disobedient, hates the world she lives in.

New Ways: Loves herself, proud, victorious leader, the one to lead the world to peace, proud of her heritage.

Core Traits: Intelligent, determined, compassionate, but impulsive and defiant.

4-Act Structure:

ACT 1:

Opening: It’s Nadia’s 21^st birthday party and transformation celebration (“Usiku wa Kinyonga).” She is to turn from half human and half vampire to full vampire. This transformation demands that she bite a human and drink human blood.

However after a memory is triggered about how human captives are treated, and what happened to her mother, she refuses to go through with the transformation. She doesn’t want to become a vampire. She secretly plans to commit suicide.

Inciting Incident: Nadia is deceived by her conniving father and discovers a way to end the curse for her. She is caught by her uncle trying to permanently end the life of her vampire grandfather who is currently lying in a sleep state in the family mausoleum until a time pre-determined.

Turning Point: Nadia finally remembers what happened to her mother and it’s not the lie her father told her years ago.

2. starting with your 4-Act Structure, add the following components into your story to create the first draft of your Beat Sheet.

Genre: Syfy Drama Horror

Act 1: Nadia wants her father to end the war with the Vatican.

Inciting Incident: The TV broadcast states that the vampires are winning the war but Nadia, looking out the window, and everyone else can see the war waging closer to the Vampire city limits daily.

Nadia PJ: Nadia voices her opposition about the war and that her father should sign the peace agreement before they are all wiped out. Not that she cares but she is thinking about her uncle.

Lucius AJ: Reminds her of the tv broadcaster’s report.

Nadia PJ: mentions how every vampire killed makes the humans stronger in battle.

Vincent TC: Agrees.

Lucius AJ: Assures them his scientists all agree they are just rumors.

Nadia PJ: reminds Lucius that he keeps the scientists locked away in a dungeon lab.

Deeper Layer: Lucius knows they are losing the war but doesn’t care.

Deeper Layer: Nadia, for reasons unknown to her, hates being half vampire and wants to live her life as a human.

Nadia PJ: Mentions how things would be different if her mother were still here.

Reveal: Lucius gives us a glimpse of Nadia’s mother’s last day with them, running for her life and being carried off in a Black Suv.

Lucius AJ: Lies about Nadia’s mother abandoning them and lashes out angrily about how Nadia fiddles with her red bracelet when she is stressed.

Deeper Layer: Lucius feels guilt when Nadia plays with her red bracelet. Her Mom had one just like it.

Lucius AJ: Agrees to talk more about Nadia’s peace concerns after the celebration is over.

LATER:

Nadia PJ: Nadia has a traumatic memory triggered during her Usiku wa Kinyonga.” party.

Inciting Incident: Human bodies are brought into the banquet hall by the serving staff and hung 2-3 bodies on display at each dining table. They are served as human blood fountains to the vampires.

Deeper Layer: This is how Nadia remembers seeing her human mother the last time she saw her and before her memory was suppressed.

Inciting Incident: Nadia refuses to continue with the ritual of her full vampire assimilation.

Nadia PJ: Nadia confronts her father, embarrasses him at her coming out celebration. She storms off.

Vincent TC: shows up to Nadia’s room and places her under guard.

Lucius AJ: Takes up the offering for the war effort from the town’s vampire citizens.

They argue:

Lucius AJ: In anger, has an attendee thrown in prison and sentenced to death during the party.

Deeper Layer: Lucius is caught in a lie but won’t admit he’s wrong about the war effort.

Lucius AJ: After the party, He scolds Nadia for embarrassing him in front of the villagers and the higher ups attending the party.

Nadia PJ: brings up her mother again. (Psychiatrist).

Deeper Layer: She figures out it’s why she hates vampires.

Lucius AJ: Jokes with Nadia about killing her grandfather while he sleeps.

Cat in the window: Dancing after the dinner ends, ongoing entertainment.

Vincent TC: Uncle tries to comfort Nadia. He explains what Lucius meant about the rumor of breaking the curse.

Lucius AJ: gives Vincent a threatening look.

Deeper Layer: Lucius is not really joking.

Nadia PJ: meets with the mansion scientists who agree because they think Nadia will use it on her father who they hate.

Nadia PJ: Takes an IV bag of dead man’s blood to her grandfather’s crypt to kill him. The crypt is guarded 24/7.

Inciting incident: attempts suicide.

Vincent TC: Saves Nadia from burning alive. He explains why it wouldn’t work.

Vincent TC: Nadia would have to go back in time to do it if it were possible.

Turning Point: Vincent gives Nadia a family heirloom. It glows but only she can see it.

Deeper layer: In reality Nadia really just wished that her father wasn’t in charge. Now she truly hates him. She really wants peace with the humans.

· Act 2 Nadia begins to time travel so she can kill her grandfather.

New Plan: Nadia discovers the location of her vampire patriarchal ancestor in the year 1863 and plans to time travel to kill him on the plantation where he is a slave. Her ancestor has to die by her hands, a blood relative, to break the curse.

Plan in Action: To find out who her ancestor is and kill him. Nadia thinks she has to fit in with the slaves on the plantation deceiving the slaves and the slave masters.

Midpoint Turning point: Nadia discovers that the kindest person on the plantation, the one elder she is most fond of is her ancestor that she has to kill.

Nadia PJ: Nadia is being held prisoner in her guarded room.

Inciting incident: Nadia time travels for the first time.

1. Travel to past

Vincent TC: Is in the room when it happens.

Nadia PJ: Is met in the bushes by the side of the road by a black man on a horse. She is expected.

Deeper Layer: Nadia doesn’t know where she is or how she got there or if she is dreaming or that the stranger on the horse is her grandfather.

Nadia PJ: questions the stranger and gets some answers.

Deeper Layer: The stranger answers as if he was expecting the questions.

Nadia PJ: remembers some of her vampire history and asks about Josiah. Gets no answer. Not polite to ask.

Nadia PJ: Riding on the horse, she gets a tour and watches as the slaves work the tobacco fields on a cloudy day.

Deeper Layer: Josiah doesn’t want Nadia to know who he really is yet.

Inciting Incident: A neighboring plantation owner confronts Josiah and demands the return of a runaway. He Threatens him with a whip. He’s surrounded and killed by slave vampires.

1. Return to present

Nadia PJ: Returns to the present.

Deeper layer: She notices that the stranger is wearing the same family heirloom.

Vincent TC: Is hysterical about how she moved from one place to another without being able to see her and her being half human.

Deeper Layer: Whenever Nadia returns to the present she is always laying down asleep and has to wake up.

Nadia PJ: Explains what happened.

Deeper Layer: She thinks it was all a dream.

Nadia PJ: and Vincent go to visit grandfather’s crypt.

Vincent TC: tells her the truth about how her father was captured by the slavers and taken to the colonies.

Deeper Layer: it’s a secret he’s kept from Lucius.

Nadia PJ: doubles down. Her grandfather has to die.

Vincent TC: realizes he’s now talking to himself.

Nadia PJ: hears Vincent mention something about a journal.

2. Travel to past

Nadia PJ: In the bushes by the road. She hears slave catchers on horseback.

Inciting Incident: Nadia watches as the kind stranger/Josiah deals with the slave catchers and their horses and three runaways.

Deeper Layer: she still hasn’t found out Josiah yet.

Inciting Incident: William Sanders plantation is surrounded by hooded night riders with torches. Josiah leads the other vampires to battle.

Turning Point: Nadia is convinced that the kind stranger from the road is actually Josiah, her grandfather.

Nadia PJ: hides out and hopes she doesn’t leave until she can kill Josiah.

Nadia PJ: Nadia stands over her sleeping grandfather holding a machete and has a chance to kill him but she notices her name written in his journal next to a prophecy.

Deeper Layer: Nadia doesn’t know that her grandfather is causing her to time travel.

Nadia PJ: her and Josiah have the talk.

Nadia PJ: Notices the entry in the original journal, Vincent is the true heir.

2. Travel to present

Lucius AJ: He has a secret meeting with a Vatican member about the processing plant and the war. Nadia over hears the conversation. Nadia overhears the zoom meet

Nadia PJ: hears that Vincent knows everything about everything and is very upset.

Vincent TC: He won’t tell her why he went along with Lucius’ plans.

Turning Point: Nadia feels she can no longer trust Uncle Vincent.

Deeper Layer: Vincent is not Nadia’s uncle but is her father but can’t tell her in order to save her life.

Nadia PJ: confronts Vincent again and tells him about the journal entry. She figures out that Vincent already knows.

Nadia PJ: Waits for a response, has to figure it out herself. It all makes sense now.

Deeper layer: Nadia always wondered why she seemed so much closer to her uncle than her own father.

Nadia PJ: Nadia needs the journal with the fake entry to make a plan.

Nadia PJ: She convinces Vincent to gather what allies he can before Lucius goes further with his plans.

Lucius AJ: He’s confused when he finds out that Nadia is not in her room where she should be or anywhere in the mansion.

Inciting Incident: Lucius reads a note about a fake entry in his father’s historic recorded journal and the word prophecy.

Character Connection: Staring at a photo, he has a triggered flashback about the affair between Nadia’s mother and his brother Vincent.

Journal/Thumb drive

Nadia PJ: steals the fake journal and a thumb drive from Lucius’ safe.

Nadia PJ: her and Vincent read the original journal.

Nadia PJ: watches the video of her mother’s death with Vincent in his office.

Vincent TC: knows what’s on the video.

· Act 3 Nadia falls for the soldier

Rethink Everything: Nadia is back to the present and researches the vampire archives. She wonders why her father is in the leader of the Vampire covens and not her uncle who is older.

New Plan: Nadia realizes that it is her great elder, Josiah Freeman, who is calling her back to the past for a reason, to fulfill a prophecy in the future. “From future’s past will peace come.”

Turning Point: Vampire Hunters arrive at the plantation operating as Emancipation Proclamators who go from one plantation to another spreading the news of freedom but also killing vampires along the way.

Lucius AJ: Has a prisoner attempt to kill his father but catches him in the act. Betrayal.

Deeper layer: Lucius stages the murder attempt to show he is a hero and worthy leader.

Character Connection: Standing over his father’s crypt he has a flashback to when his father was abducted by slave hunters.

Lucius AJ: kills the villager in the sun room and makes a big show of it.

3. Travel to past.

Nadia PJ: She returns to the plantation to find Northern Soldiers there to announce the emancipation proclamation to the slaves.

Nadia PJ: She has romantic feelings for Cpt. Sherman.

Nadia PJ: She and Josiah talk more. Prophecy, The Caves, The curse.

Nadia PJ: meets William Sanders and his very large wealthy family.

3. Travel to present

Nadia PJ: She and Vincent research the vampire archives and finds out all slaves were free in 1863 and that there were vampire hunters during the civil war doubling as soldiers.

Cpt. Sherman: Tortures one of the slaves. Why won’t the slaves leave the plantation since they are free?

Vincent TC: finally explains that he has betrayed his brother twice and deserves a chance.

4 Travel to past.

Nadia PJ: Nadia finds out that slaves of the plantation are missing and presumed dead.

Nadia PJ: Spend intimate time together.

Inciting Incident: Cpt. Sherman reveals to Nadia his secret.

Turning Point: Cpt. Sherman has to detain Nadia when it’s feared that she will warn the vampires.

4 Travel to present.

Nadia PJ: Escapes captivity by returning to the present.

Deeper Layer: Nadia was hoping that Cpt. Sherman wasn’t a vampire hunter.

Lucius AJ: Calls a hurried meeting for a vote to take over the family officially. He assures them he will call for peace when he is made permanent head ruler.

Inciting Incident: Vincent, in confidence, demands that Nadia be present for the vote.

Lucius AJ: sends Vincent off to locate Nadia.

Lucius AJ: During the meeting a war general reports the war on the front lines and the outcome to Lucius and others.

Lucius AJ: has the general and others at the meeting secretly killed in his side office.

Lucius AJ: bites the general, gets a firsthand look at the war from his pov and then throws him in the office sun room.

Lucius AJ: Discusses what needs to happen when Nadia disappears in front of Lucius.

5 Travel to past.

Turning Point: Lucius interrogates Vincent.

Lucius AJ: throws Vincent in the secret side sun office. He thinks Vincent and Nadia are up to something.

Deeper Layer: Lucius can’t bring himself to kill his brother but leaves him there.

Turning Point: Lucius can’t find his father’s original journal with the fake entry.

Lucius AJ: He has the guards search the whole mansion for Nadia but she can’t be found.

Deeper Layer: Lucius is afraid that Vincent is going to tell everyone the truth.

· ACT 4 Dilemma, Nadia becomes a fully fledged vampire.

Climax: Nadia has to kill her ancestor before Cpt. Stanley can or she will live her life as a vampire in the present. She has to save her ancestor’s life by killing the soldiers.

Resolution: After the soldiers are all dead, Nadia can’t bring herself to kill her ancestor. She embraces who she is and falls in love with her history and family heritage. She discovers her grandfather’s true journal that records that Vincent should be the head of the Vampire Covens in her grandfather’s absence. She returns to the present and leads the Vatican/Vampire peace accord.

She searches the history books to now discover that the freedom news never reached the slaves in Texas for another two years because she killed the emancipation proclamators before they could reach Texas delaying freedom for over 250000 slaves.

THE PLANTATION IS UNDER ATTACK

Turning Point: Nadia realizes she has full vampire benefits when in the past.

Inciting Incident: Nadia feels she has to save her grandfather when she discovers most of the clan is dead. He’s cornered and injured.

Nadia PJ: shows up in time to save her grandfather from the fate of the vampire hunters.

Nadia PJ: She has to bite Cpt. Sherman, killing him and the other soldiers.

Nadia PJ: she can see his whole history of killing vampires while she drinks his blood.

Nadia PJ: Nadia because she has finally killed a human becomes a full time vampire.

Nadia PJ: Nadia returns to her time and brings her grandfather’s original journal.

5 Travel to present

Inciting incident: She proves to the Vampire Council that Lucius has deceived them all and that Vincent should be the interim head of the Vampires.

Deeper Layer: There can now be peace, the war will end.

Lucius AJ: Has been secretly putting dissenters in the dungeon jail and sentenced to death.

Lucius AJ: He escapes from jail and walks into the sunroom. Suicide.

Inciting Incident: Vincent is voted in as head.

Inciting Incident: The Vatican/Vampire peace Council is formed.

Vincent TC: The Vatican/Vampire Peace accord is broadcast on every Media Channel. Vampires and Humans formation up and march away. Surviving humans are released from the food processing plants.

Nadia PJ: finds out that she has altered history and that over 250K slaves in Texas were never freed because she killed the soldiers.

Vincent doesn’t know that she is referring to Juneteenth.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Deeper Layer!

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

High Concept: In a world where the Vatican is winning the war against the Vampires a young black woman must fulfill prophesy by traveling back and forth through time to Savannah 1863 to kill her slave ancestor, break her family curse and lead the peace agreement.

2. As we did above with The Sixth Sense, create each piece of this “Deeper Layer” puzzle.

Surface Layer: Nadia
doesn’t want to live her life as a vampire.
Deeper Layer: The
Vatican are winning the war against the Vampires but Horace, the vampire
leader, refuses to talk peace.
Major Reveal: Nadia
discovers she is to fulfill an ancient prophecy which is to lead a peace
agreement between The Vatican and the Vampire Nations.
Influences Surface Story:
Nadia discovers that the Civil War soldiers are actually Vampire Hunters.
Hints: Horace knew about
the affair between his brother and his wife. He believes Winston is
Nadia’s true father.
Changes Reality: Nadia
discovers that her father is not the chosen interim leader of the Vampire
Nations and that her Uncle should be the leader.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning: Nadia has a
traumatic memory triggered during her birthday party.
Inciting Incident: Her
father lets it slip that the only way to possibly end the vampire curse
for herself is to kill her ancestor while he is sleeping.
Turning Point 1: She
finds out that a gift she received will allow her to time travel.
Act 2: Nadia travels
back and forth in time to Savannah 1863 hoping to find her ancestor and
kill him in the past while he is living as a plantation slave.
Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Vampire hunters arrive at the plantation and plan to kill Nadia’s
ancestor before she can.
Act 3: Nadia researches
all she can to find out more about the era.
Turning Point 3: Nadia
discovers that her father has been lying to her and the rest of the
Vampires about who should be the interim leader.
Act 4 Climax: Nadia has
to bite the Vampire hunter. She returns to the future, removes her father
from office and puts her uncle as head. Her uncle issues in the peace
agreement as it should have been.
Resolution: Nadia
realizes that she has disrupted time in a major way and has to return to
the past one more time.

4. Repeat the process with your Antagonist.

2. Start with the Protagonist and your source material. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning: Horace throws
a grand vampire coming out ball which doubles as war effort fund raiser.
Inciting Incident:
Horace hears rumors of the other families wanting to wake up Horace’s
father Josiah in hopes to end the losing war.
Turning Point 1: Horace
lets it slip out that maybe Nadia could prevent becoming a vampire if her
grandfather was dead, as a joke or impossibility.
Act 2: Horace becomes
more desperate in trying to remain head of the family.
Turning Point 2 /
Midpoint: Horace gets a prisoner to attempt to kill his father.
Act 3: Horace has a zoom
meet with a corrupt Vatican official about future relationships.
Turning Point 3: He has
to prevent Nadia from exposing the truth.
Act 4 Climax: Horace is
caught trying to kill his father and exposed as not the true interim
family head.
Resolution: He is sentenced;
his processing plant destroyed, human survivors and victims are returned
to loved ones.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Character Structure

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

High Concept: In a world where the Vatican is winning the war against the Vampires a young black woman must fulfill prophesy by traveling back and forth through time to Savannah 1863 to kill her slave ancestor, break her family curse and lead the peace agreement.

2. Start with the Protagonist and your source material. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning:
Nadia has a traumatic memory triggered during her birthday party.
Inciting
Incident: Her father lets it slip that the only way to possibly end the
vampire curse for herself is to kill her ancestor while he is sleeping.
Turning
Point 1: She finds out that a gift she received will allow her to time
travel.
Act
2: Nadia travels back and forth in time to Savannah 1863 hoping to find
her ancestor and kill him in the past while he is living as a plantation
slave.
Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: Vampire hunters arrive at the plantation and plan to
kill Nadia’s ancestor before she can.
Act
3: Nadia researches all she can to find out more about the era.
Turning
Point 3: Nadia discovers that her father has been lying to her and the
rest of the Vampires about who should be the interim leader.
Act
4 Climax: Nadia has to bite the Vampire hunter. She returns to the future,
removes her father from office and puts her uncle as head. Her uncle issues
in the peace agreement as it should have been.
Resolution:
Nadia realizes that she has disrupted time in a major way and has to
return to the past one more time.

4. Repeat the process with your Antagonist.

2. Start with the Protagonist and your source material. Create a beginning, middle, and end of the character’s story.

3. Add the rest of the structure to the characters to the script. Try to get to the point as we’ve done in the Iron Man example above.

Beginning:
Horace throws a grand vampire coming out ball which doubles as war effort
fund raiser.
Inciting
Incident: Horace hears rumors of the other families wanting to wake up
Horace’s father Josiah in hopes to end the losing war.
Turning
Point 1: Horace lets it slip out that maybe Nadia could prevent becoming a
vampire if her grandfather was dead, as a joke or impossibility.
Act
2: Horace becomes more desperate in trying to remain head of the family.
Turning
Point 2 / Midpoint: Horace gets a prisoner to attempt to kill his father.
Act
3: Horace has a zoom meet with a corrupt Vatican official about future
relationships.
Turning
Point 3: He has to prevent Nadia from exposing the truth.
Act
4 Climax: Horace is caught trying to kill his father and exposed as not
the true interim family head.
Resolution:
He is sentenced; his processing plant destroyed, human survivors and victims
are returned to loved ones.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Supporting Characters

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

2. Tell us your supporting and background characters.

Supporting Characters: Winston Josiah Civil
War Cpt. Stanley/Cpt. Stanton Bishop Deardon
Background Characters: Members of the
household, party goers, soldiers Plantation slaves/owners

3. Focusing on those supporting characters, fill in the basic profile for each.

Support 1:

Name: Winston
Role: Uncle to Najah
brother to Horace.
Main purpose: Advise
Najah her aid in the time traveling.
Value: He helps Najah
find her way through the past and present.

Support 2:

Name: Josiah
Role: Grandfather
Main purpose: He calls
Najah to the past and helps her discover her roots and who she really is.
Value: He helps her
discover her destiny In the future.

Support 3:

Name: Stanley/Stanton
Role: Spy for Horace and
Civil War Captain/vampire hunter dual roles
Main purpose: He’s to
feign feelings for Najah to keep an eye on her for her father. He’s the
descendant of the vampire hunter trying to kill Josiah on the plantation.
Value: In both roles he
is an antagonist trying to bring harm to Najah while trying to gain her
love.

Support 4:

Name: Bishop Deardon
Role: Inside man with
the Vatican.
Main purpose: Keeps
Horace informed about Local Vatican decisions and the war front efforts.
Value: Bishop Deardon is
in cahoots with Horace about the human food processing plant. Horace has
promised him eternal life.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Character Profiles Part 1

2. With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:

A. The High Concept. With the Vatican/Vampire peace talks failing, a
young black woman must time travel to a slave plantation in Savannah 1863
to alter her family history.

· B. This character’s journey. Internal journey: from a sickly defiant girl who hates who she is to a strong proud and confident world leader.

External journey: From time traveling to kill her ancestor to protecting him and joining him to kill his enemies and bringing peace to the future world.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character. Protagonist Najah Blackman.

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

· Najah is a young black woman who on the night of her 21^st birthday celebration she is to commit to living her life as a vampire. She is outspoken, disobedient and her family traditions repulse her. She refuses. Najah becomes deathly ill because she refuses to drink human blood. She evolves into a true hero and defender of her family heritage and dynasty leading the Vatican and Vampire worlds into a peace agreement.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

· In the present she is weak and sickly but also defiant and determined, troubled black history major who gets firsthand experience of how her family history evolved when she time travels to the past. In the past she is strong, healthy and becomes a courageous protector of her family patriarch.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

· She discovers how to prevent herself from becoming a vampire. She has to kill her ancient ancestor, the vampire patriarch of the family, while he is lying in a century long sleep. She steals away to the family mausoleum to kill him but is caught by her uncle. She time travels to Savannah Ga 1863 where the same elder ancestor is a slave with intentions of killing him in the past.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

· A young black woman refusing to conform to family norms travels back in time intent on murdering her elder ancestor. She thinks she has to lie and deceive everyone she comes in contact with to find the person responsible for her torment in the future only to come to love him in the end and must save his life for her to have a future.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

· From empathy to compassion concerning the treatment of humans, to anger and embarrassing to depression when it comes to her father.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

· In the present she is scheming to kill her elder while he sleeps, in the past she is hiding who she is so she can find her elder and kill him. To in the present scheming to make sure her father never becomes the family head of state to in the past making sure the vampire hunters don’t kill her elder.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

· She is in conflict with the way her father is running the family and the war and wants to do everything she can to have him removed from power. In the past she’s intent on killing her elder but ends up loving and respecting him and willing to die for him. In the present she has respect for her uncle and thinks he should run the family to end the war. She has a love interest of sorts but he is devoted to her father and is the spitting image and descendant to her enemy in the past which begins to affect her feelings for him in the present.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

· She is a defender, protector and conscientious objector to the war but at the same time hates what she is and plans to kill her elder ancestor to free her from the curse.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

· Her outspokenness, her sympathies, her anger and determination, her empathy for humans, her defiance, and her ability, with all of her empathy she wouldn’t hurt a fly but is willing to kill her ancestor to be free from the curse.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Protagonist Najah Blackman
Age range and Description: 21, Light Skinned black woman,
athletic build, short hair
Core Traits: Brave, Haunted, Intolerant
Motivation; Want/Need: She wants to live as a human, she needs
to kill her ancestor
Wound: Witnessing her mother and other humans being processed
for food in her father’s plant.

6.

Old Ways.

· Likability: Before the ceremony her uncle visits her in her room. She looks at a picture of her and her mother together when she was a child and wishes her mother was still around for her big night.

· Relatablility: She has always been of a free mind, disobedient, stubborn. She really misses her mother and asks her uncle why she left her all those years ago.

· Empathy: During the ceremony, Najah has a traumatic memory triggered seeing her mother sealed in a plastic bag and hanging from a hook in the secret food processing plant owned by her father.

New Plan

· Likability: Preferring to live her life as a human, she’s determined to kill her grandfather and end the curse.

· Relatability: The more Najah denies who she is meant to become the sicker she gets.

· Empathy: She is willing to die rather than become a Vampire like her Father.

Newer Plan:

· Likability: Najah discovers that she can time travel.

· Relatability: She wants to discover her family’s roots

· Empathy: When she returns to the present, her and her uncle bond over what she’s learned from the past. They can research the archives together to help her with her quest.

Newer Plan:

· Likability: Najah discovers that her grandfather’s life is in danger from the Vampire hunters.

· Relatability: She tries to help her grandfather fight them off but he is losing to them.

· Empathy: She has to bite a soldier and become a vampire to save her grandfather’s life.

7. Character Subtext: After her memory is triggered she finally realizes why she doesn’t want to be a vampire and why she hates her father.

8. Character Intrigue: Her unspoken wound is what has always driven her to be who she is and why she despises vampires. She is secretly time traveling. Her uncle is the only one who knows her secret.

9. Flaw: She believes all vampires are evil and corrupt because of her father.

10. Values: She values human life over vampire lives.

11. Character Dilemma: Choosing murder over family tradition.

2. With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following: Antagonist Horace Blackman

A. The High Concept. A. The High Concept. With the
Vatican/Vampire peace talks failing, a young black woman must time travel
to a slave plantation in Savannah 1863 to alter her family history.

B. This character’s journey. Internal Journey from an angry
betrayed husband to a corrupt power hungry family leader to planning the
execution of his own father.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.:

Movie Title: IN THE BLOOD Antagonist Horace Blackman

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

· He thinks of himself before anyone else but comes off as considerate of others. He won’t hesitate to order someone to death while making a jest about it. He is the interim ruler who rules by fear but claims he rules out of duty and love for the people. He believes his kingdom is as devoted to him as he is to himself. A truly selfish dictator who secretly wants to rule all the vampire clans and believes he has full support.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

· In the opening scene he as someone sent to the sun room. The only voice he needs to hear is his own. It’s his world everyone else exists because he allows it. He chooses to see things the way he wants and doesn’t consider there is any other way to perceive things.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

· He has one of the towns leaders executed and holds his young son as captive. He has one of his generals spy on his daughter while pretending affections for her. Even though the vampires are clearly losing the war with the Vatican he refuses to acknowledge and in fact lies to the opposite. In the past he had his human wife preserved in the food processing plant and lied to his daughter about why she left the family.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

· He’s the egotistical current head of the main Vampire clans who is totally upending centuries of peace with the humans established by his father who is currently in a deep sleep. He’s stealing money raised for the war effort to secretly build an even larger human food processing plant.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

· From the cock on the block because everything is in some way about him to a hurt puppy when in the end his father, the true king is awakened and assumes the throne.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

· But what is this saying about me?

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

· His relationship with his brother Winston, who is very close with Najah, is one of self worship. He thinks his brother worships the ground he walks on. Even when he takes his brothers advice he’ll think his brother is only looking out for him. He despises Winston because he knows he had a long going affair with his wife. His relationship with his daughter is fire and ice but he thinks he can fix her. He knows that Najah is not his daughter but keeps the secret out of shame for himself. The relationship with his elder father, the patriarch of the family, Josiah, he knows better than his father about what needs to be done about the humans in this century.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

· He only hears the sound of his own voice because he is the sitting ruler.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

He can come off sounding like he has the good of the kingdom at heart but is really only thinking of himself because he’s the ruler.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Antagonist, Najah’s father, Interim Vampire
Head of Family’s
Age range and Description: African American, 50’s, ageless
Vampire
Core Traits: Corrupt, hateful, power hungry
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to be the One Ruler of all Vampire
Clans, needs to kill his father.
Wound: Witnessing his father being captured by slavers,
witnessing his wife’s affair with his older brother.

Antagonist: Horace Blackman

· Likability: He misses his dad when he was younger only.

· Relatability: Competed with his older brother as kids. Loved his father.

· Empathy: His happy childhood changed when he witnessed his father being captured by slavers.

· Likability: He admires his father’s accomplishments.

· Relatability: He falls in love with a human even though he hates them.

· Empathy: He witnesses his brother is sleeping with his wife and is heartbroken and believes Najah isn’t his daughter.

· Likability: He tries to help Najah forget seeing her mother hanging dead in the food processing plant.

· Relatability: No matter what he does he can’t get Najah to like him.

· Empathy: Horace had Najah hypnotized to help her forget what she saw.

7. Character Subtext: He secretly fears how evil humans really are and is afraid to trust the Vatican because of a memory he thinks he has where his father was captured and taken to America as a slave.

8. Character Intrigue: He has a secret human food trafficking ring and food processing plant and needs to keep control of the family from his peace seeking father.

9. Flaw: He’s afraid to admit that the Vatican is actually winning the war.

10. Values: He values his own opinion and decisions.

11. Character Dilemma: His fear of being betrayed by humans or losing the war.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Character Profiles Part 1

2. With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following:

A. The High Concept. With the Vatican/Vampire peace talks failing, a
young black woman must time travel to a slave plantation in Savannah 1863
to alter her family history.

· B. This character’s journey. Internal journey: from a sickly defiant girl who hates who she is to a strong proud and confident world leader.

External journey: From time traveling to kill her ancestor to protecting him and joining him to kill his enemies and bringing peace to the future world.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character. Protagonist Najah Blackman.

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

· Najah is a young black woman who on the night of her 21^st birthday celebration she is to commit to living her life as a vampire. She is outspoken, disobedient and her family traditions repulse her. She refuses. Najah becomes deathly ill because she refuses to drink human blood. She evolves into a true hero and defender of her family heritage and dynasty leading the Vatican and Vampire worlds into a peace agreement.

What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

· In the present she is weak and sickly but also defiant and determined, troubled black history major who gets firsthand experience of how her family history evolved when she time travels to the past. In the past she is strong, healthy and becomes a courageous protector of her family patriarch.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

· She discovers how to prevent herself from becoming a vampire. She has to kill her ancient ancestor, the vampire patriarch of the family, while he is lying in a century long sleep. She steals away to the family mausoleum to kill him but is caught by her uncle. She time travels to Savannah Ga 1863 where the same elder ancestor is a slave with intentions of killing him in the past.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

· A young black woman refusing to conform to family norms travels back in time intent on murdering her elder ancestor. She thinks she has to lie and deceive everyone she comes in contact with to find the person responsible for her torment in the future only to come to love him in the end and must save his life for her to have a future.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

· From empathy to compassion concerning the treatment of humans, to anger and embarrassing to depression when it comes to her father.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

· In the present she is scheming to kill her elder while he sleeps, in the past she is hiding who she is so she can find her elder and kill him. To in the present scheming to make sure her father never becomes the family head of state to in the past making sure the vampire hunters don’t kill her elder.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

· She is in conflict with the way her father is running the family and the war and wants to do everything she can to have him removed from power. In the past she’s intent on killing her elder but ends up loving and respecting him and willing to die for him. In the present she has respect for her uncle and thinks he should run the family to end the war. She has a love interest of sorts but he is devoted to her father and is the spitting image and descendant to her enemy in the past which begins to affect her feelings for him in the present.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

· She is a defender, protector and conscientious objector to the war but at the same time hates what she is and plans to kill her elder ancestor to free her from the curse.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

· Her outspokenness, her sympathies, her anger and determination, her empathy for humans, her defiance, and her ability, with all of her empathy she wouldn’t hurt a fly but is willing to kill her ancestor to be free from the curse.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Protagonist Najah Blackman
Age range and Description: 21, Light Skinned black woman,
athletic build, short hair
Core Traits: Brave, Haunted, Intolerant
Motivation; Want/Need: She wants to live as a human, she needs
to kill her ancestor
Wound: Witnessing her mother and other humans being processed
for food in her father’s plant.

6.

Old Ways.

· Likability: Before the ceremony her uncle visits her in her room. She looks at a picture of her and her mother together when she was a child and wishes her mother was still around for her big night.

· Relatablility: She has always been of a free mind, disobedient, stubborn. She really misses her mother and asks her uncle why she left her all those years ago.

· Empathy: During the ceremony, Najah has a traumatic memory triggered seeing her mother sealed in a plastic bag and hanging from a hook in the secret food processing plant owned by her father.

New Plan

· Likability: Preferring to live her life as a human, she’s determined to kill her grandfather and end the curse.

· Relatability: The more Najah denies who she is meant to become the sicker she gets.

· Empathy: She is willing to die rather than become a Vampire like her Father.

Newer Plan:

· Likability: Najah discovers that she can time travel.

· Relatability: She wants to discover her family’s roots

· Empathy: When she returns to the present, her and her uncle bond over what she’s learned from the past. They can research the archives together to help her with her quest.

Newer Plan:

· Likability: Najah discovers that her grandfather’s life is in danger from the Vampire hunters.

· Relatability: She tries to help her grandfather fight them off but he is losing to them.

· Empathy: She has to bite a soldier and become a vampire to save her grandfather’s life.

2. With each of your lead characters, first tell us the following: Antagonist Horace Blackman

A. The High Concept. A. The High Concept. With the
Vatican/Vampire peace talks failing, a young black woman must time travel
to a slave plantation in Savannah 1863 to alter her family history.

B. This character’s journey. Internal Journey from an angry
betrayed husband to a corrupt power hungry family leader to planning the
execution of his own father.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character.

Movie Title: IN THE BLOOD Antagonist Horace Blackman

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

· He thinks of himself before anyone else but comes off as considerate of others. He won’t hesitate to order someone to death while making a jest about it. He is the interim ruler who rules by fear but claims he rules out of duty and love for the people. He believes his kingdom is as devoted to him as he is to himself. A truly selfish dictator who secretly wants to rule all the vampire clans and believes he has full support.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

· In the opening scene he as someone sent to the sun room. The only voice he needs to hear is his own. It’s his world everyone else exists because he allows it. He chooses to see things the way he wants and doesn’t consider there is any other way to perceive things.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

· He has one of the towns leaders executed and holds his young son as captive. He has one of his generals spy on his daughter while pretending affections for her. Even though the vampires are clearly losing the war with the Vatican he refuses to acknowledge it. In the past he had his human wife preserved in the food processing plant and lied to his daughter about why she left the family.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

· He’s the egotistical current head of the main Vampire clans who is totally upending centuries of peace with the humans established by his father who is currently in a deep sleep. He’s stealing money raised for the war effort to secretly build a human food processing plant.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

· From the cock on the block because everything is in some way about him to a hurt puppy when in the end his father, the true king is awakened and assumes the throne.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

· But what is this saying about me?

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

· His relationship with his brother Winston, who is very close with Najah, is one of self worship. He thinks his brother worships the ground he walks on. Even when he takes his brothers advice he’ll think his brother is only looking out for him. He despises Winston because he knows he had a long going affair with his wife. His relationship with his daughter is fire and ice but he thinks he can fix her. He knows that Najah is not his daughter but keeps the secret out of shame for himself. The relationship with his elder father, the patriarch of the family, Josiah, he knows better than his father about what needs to be done about the humans in this century.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

· He only hears the sound of his own voice because he is the sitting ruler.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

· He can come off sounding like he has the good of the kingdom at heart but is really only thinking of himself because he’s the ruler.

3. Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for each of your lead characters.

Role in the Story: Antagonist, Najah’s father, Interim Vampire
Head of Family’s
Age range and Description: African American, 50’s, ageless
Vampire
Core Traits: Corrupt, hateful, power hungry
Motivation; Want/Need: Wants to be the One Ruler of all Vampire
Clans, needs to kill his father.
Wound: Witnessing his father being captured by slavers,
witnessing his wife’s affair with his older brother.

Antagonist: Horace Blackman

· Likability: He misses his dad when he was younger only.

· Relatability: Competed with his older brother as kids. Loved his father.

· Empathy: His happy childhood changed when he witnessed his father being captured by slavers.

· Likability: He admires his father’s accomplishments.

· Relatability: He falls in love with a human even though he hates them.

· Empathy: He witnesses his brother is sleeping with his wife and is heartbroken and believes Najah isn’t his daughter.

· Likability: He tries to help Najah forget seeing her mother hanging dead in the food processing plant.

· Relatability: No matter what he does he can’t get Najah to like him.

· Empathy: Horace had Najah hypnotized to help her forget what she saw.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Likability/Relatability/ Empathy

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned that unless it’s truly a horror film even the monster can be likable, relatable and empathetic and this is another way of learning more about your characters even before you begin to write.

Protagonist: Najah Blackman

Old Ways

· Likability: Before the ceremony her uncle visits her in her room. She looks at a picture of her and her mother together when she was a child and wishes her mother was still around for her big night.

· Relatablility: She has always been of a free mind, disobedient, stubborn. She really misses her mother and asks her uncle why she left her all those years ago.

· Empathy: During the ceremony, Najah has a traumatic memory triggered seeing her mother sealed in a plastic bag and hanging from a hook in the secret food processing plant owned by her father.

New Plan

· Likability: Preferring to live her life as a human, she’s determined to kill her grandfather and end the curse.

· Relatability: The more Najah denies who she is meant to become the sicker she gets.

· Empathy: She is willing to die rather than become a Vampire like her Father.

Newer Plan:

· Likability: Najah discovers that she can time travel.

· Relatability: She wants to discover her family’s roots

· Empathy: When she returns to the present, her and her uncle bond over what she’s learned from the past. They can research the archives together to help her with her quest.

Newer Plan:

· Likability: Najah discovers that her grandfather’s life is in danger from the Vampire hunters.

· Relatability: She tries to help her grandfather fight them off but he is losing to them.

· Empathy: She has to bite a soldier and become a vampire to save her grandfather’s life.

Antagonist: Horace Blackman

· Likability: He misses his dad

· Relatability: Competed with his older brother as kids. Loved his father.

· Empathy: His happy childhood changed when he witnessed his father being captured by slavers.

· Likability: He admires his father’s accomplishments.

· Relatability: He falls in love with a human even though he hates them.

· Empathy: He believes his brother is sleeping with his wife and is heartbroken.

· Likability: He tries to help his Najah forget seeing her mother hanging dead in the food processing plant.

· Relatability: No matter what he does he can’t get Najah to like him.

· Empathy: Horace has Najah hypnotized to help her forget what she saw.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Character Intrigue

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned that creating character intrigue gives the characters the edge they need in the story and that it helps the writer get to know more about the characters before writing the story begins.

· Character Name: Najah Blackman

Role: Granddaughter, Vampire, Time Traveler <div>

Hidden agendas: Kill her elder while he is in a century long
sleep. It Fails. She time travels to kill her elder in the past where he
lives as a slave.

Secrets: From her grandfather’s ancient journal, Najah finds
out who the true interim leader of the family should be, Winston Blackman.

Unspoken Wound: At 12 years old she finds out what her corrupt
vampire father is truly up to. She uncovers the true fate of all humans when
she discovers her missing mother’s body hanging in the human/food
processing center and this long time suppressed memory traumatizes her for
the rest of her life only to have it triggered during the ceremony.

Character Intrigue Subtext example:

For reasons she has never been unaware of, Najah Blackman has always been stubborn, outspoken and ashamed of her family heritage and everything her father stands for, until a traumatic event memory was triggered during her 21^st birthday Vampire coming out party. Najah refuses to take her family oath and perform her first human kill, refusing to become a vampire.

· Character Name: Horace Blackman

Role: Najah’s father, interim Lord of the Vampires</div><div>

Hidden agendas: Wants to become the official Lord of the
Vampire clans.

Conspiracies: He tries to have his father killed twice while he
is asleep.

Secrets: He has stolen the birthright from his older brother.
Building a human food processing facility.

Deception: He deceives his daughter into attempting to kill his
Father, the True Lord of the Vampires while he is asleep.

Unspoken Wound: Horace
has hated humans since witnessing his father being captured by slavers and
stolen away to America from Ghana in the early 1600s and despised his
older brother for wanting to keep peace with humans.

Character Intrigue Subtext example:

Horace hates all humans and never wants his father or brother to assume the Lord position over the Vampire clans. He twice schemes to have his Father killed during his century long sleep. He wants all humans kept in their place as a food source even if it means the Vatican/Vampire wars never end.

· Character Name: Winston Blackman

Role: Najah’s Vampire Uncle confidant to Najah, History Professor </div><div>

Secrets: Winston is the only one who knows why his father gave
himself over to slavery. He also is the only person who knows about Najah’s
time traveling. Had an affair with Najah’s mother while she was married to
Horace. Najah is actually his daughter.

Unspoken Wound: He feels guilty for never telling his brother
the truth about his father’s capture by the slavers. He wants desperately to tell Najah that he is her real father.

Character Intrigue Subtext example:

Winston gives Najah an ancient family heirloom that causes her to time travel. He explains the history behind the elders slave capture. He discovers Najah’s attempt to kill her grandfather while he sleeps and then helps her time travel in hopes of changing her mind about the family heritage or do whatever she must to break the family curse.

</div>

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Subtext Character

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned that when you have no idea how to write a story but you have an idea, it may be possible to fully create the story by following a plan before you begin to write. I still have no idea how I’m going to tell this story by I have two-three main characters with intentions and character traits and I have an idea where the main lead begins and how it ends for her. I’m grateful for that much so far.

Movie Title: Underworld
Character Name: <div>

Selene
Subtext Identity: Warrior/Lycan killer

Subtext Trait: Suspicious, crafty, Evasive, Secretive

Subtext Logline: Heartbroken over the slaughter of her family
when she was a little girl. Selene pours out all her killing energy into
killing those she thinks are responsible for the death of her family.

Possible Areas of Subtext: She thinks waking up Viktor and
telling him how Craven is betraying the vampires to the Lycans will work
in her favor. She wasn’t counting on learning that it was actually Viktor,
the man who raised her, who murdered her family to cover up a secret.

3. For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:

· Movie Title: In The Blood

· Character Name: Najah Blackman

Subtext Identity: Time traveler planning to kill her ancestor. </div>

Subtext Trait: Secretive, Undercover, Scheming, Sneaky

Subtext Logline: Traumatized by a site that’s given her
nightmares since she was a child, and because of it she refuses to follow
tradition, becoming a vampire on her 21^st birthday coming out
ball.

Possible Areas of Subtext:
After her father lets it slip out that she can break the curse if
she could find a way to kill her ancient elder, she realizes her father
has been setting her up to do his dirty work for him so he can assume the
role of the true Family Ruler and head over all Vampire clans.

Character Name: Horace Blackman
Subtext Identity: Acting Head of the Vampire clans
Subtext Trait: Evil Corrupt Deceitful

Subtext Logline: He lied and stole the head of the family
position from his older brother who wanted to continue the peace agreement
with the Vatican and has hard-pressed the Vatican armies to war with the
Vampire army.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Unable to kill his father, the true
ruler of the Vampire clans, while during his century long sleep, he tricks
his daughter, Najah, into doing it for him. When she fails she becomes so
determined that she time travels and attempts to kill him in the past.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Actor Attractor IN THE BLOOD

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned how to look for the essence of the actor and express it in a way the actor can see themselves in the role.

Movie Title: IN THE BLOOD Protagonist Najah Blackman

What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

• Najah is a young black woman who on the night of her 21st birthday celebration she is to commit to living her life as a vampire. She is outspoken, disobedient and her family traditions repulse her. She refuses. Najah becomes deathly ill because she refuses to drink human blood. She evolves into a true hero and defender of her family heritage and dynasty leading the Vatican and Vampire worlds into a peace agreement.

What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

• In the present she is weak and sickly but also defiant and determined, troubled black history major who gets firsthand experience of how her family history evolved when she time travels to the past. In the past she is strong, healthy and becomes a courageous protector of her family patriarch.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

• She discovers how to prevent herself from becoming a vampire. She has to kill her ancient ancestor, the vampire patriarch of the family, while he is lying in a century long sleep. She steals away to the family mausoleum to kill him but is caught. She time travels to Savannah Ga 1863 where her elder ancestor is a slave and attempts to kill him in the past.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

• A young black woman refusing to conform to the norm travels back in time to murder her elderly ancestor. She has to lie and deceive everyone she comes in contact with to find the person responsible for her torment in the future only to come to love him in the end and must save his life for her to have a future.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

• From empathy to anger concerning treatment of humans, to anger and embarrassing to depression.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

• In the present she’s scheming to kill her elder while he sleeps, in the past she is hiding who she is so she can find her elder and kill him. To in the present scheming to make sure her father never becomes the family head of state to in the past making sure the vampire hunters don’t kill her elder.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

• She is in conflict with the way her father is running the family and the war and wants to do everything she can to have him removed from power. In the past she’s intent on killing her elder but ends up loving and respecting him and willing to die for him. In the present she has respect for her uncle and thinks he should run the family to end the war. She has a love interest of sorts but he is devoted to her father and is the spitting image and descendant to her enemy in the past which begins to affect her feelings for him in the present.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

• She is a defender, protector and conscientious objector to the war but at the same time hates what she is and plans to kill her elder ancestor to free her from the curse.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

• Her outspokenness, her sympathies, her anger and determination, her empathy for humans, her defiance, and her ability, with all of her empathy she wouldn’t hurt a fly but is willing to kill her ancestor to be free from the curse.

Movie Title: IN THE BLOOD Antagonist Horace Blackman

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

• He thinks of himself before anyone else but comes off as considerate of others. He won’t hesitate to order someone to death while making a jest about it. He rules by fear but claims he rules out of duty and love for the people. He believes his kingdom is as devoted to him as he is to himself. A truly selfish dictator who secretly wants to rule and believes the people support him.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

• In the opening scene he as someone sent to the sun room. The only voice he needs to hear is his own. It’s his world everyone else exists because he allows it. He chooses to see things the way he wants and doesn’t consider there is any other way to perceive things.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

• He has one of the towns leaders executed and holds his young son as captive. He has one of his generals spy on his daughter while pretending affections for her. Even though the vampires are clearly losing the war with the Vatican he refuses to acknowledge it.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

• He’s the egotistical current head of the main Vampire clans who is totally upending centuries of peace with the humans established by his father who is currently in a deep sleep. He’s stealing money raised for the war effort to secretly build a food/human processing plant.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

• From the cock on the block because everything is in some way about him to a hurt puppy when in the end his father, the true king is awakened and assumes the throne.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

• But what is this saying about me?

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

• His relationship with his older brother Winston, who is very close with Najah, is one of self worship. He thinks his brother worships the ground he walks on. Even when he takes his brothers advice he’ll think his brother is only looking out for him. His relationship with his daughter is fire and ice but he thinks he can fix her. The relationship with his elder father, the patriarch of the family, Josiah, he knows better than his father about what needs to be done about the humans in this century.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

• He only hears the sound of his own voice because he is the sitting ruler.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

• He can come off sounding like he has the good of the kingdom at heart but is really only thinking of himself because he’s the ruler.

Movie Title: In the Blood Triangle Character Josiah Freeman

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

• Josiah is the original vampire who volunteered to be captured in Africa and brought to the colonies as a slave. He secretly rules the plantation and has developed a working relationship with the masters. He is a true leader, calm and collective and over the centuries continues to grow his family of vampires and manages to keep peace with humans.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

• His approach with people. It’s because of his kindness his life is spared by Najah who decides she can’t kill him. He’s the total opposite of her father and she wasn’t expecting that.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

• He’s forced to kill the Union soldiers/vampire hunters. He keeps the peace with the humans but in the future he removes his son from the throne and reestablishes peace with the Vatican just in time and has his son imprisoned.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

• Through the eyes of Najah he’s seen as a scary killer vampire hiding in the dark his beady eyes piercing through her until she talks with him. Together they figure out what to do about her future.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range?

• He’s easy going got things under control to a killer vampire when it comes to defending his family.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

• If I have to tell you that I’m the king than I’m not doing my job.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

• The relationship with Najah is one of instant love and concern for the future.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

• He’s a wise immortal who doesn’t feel the need to raise his voice.

10. What could make this character special and unique?

• His style of leadership and his willingness to live peacefully with the humans.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Actor Attractors 30 Days of Night

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned how to look for the essence of the actor and express it in a way the actor can see themself in the role.

Movie Title: 30 Days of Night, Protagonist Eben Oleson

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role? Small town sheriff in Alaska committed to the towns people. He’s disappointed that his marriage has failed, loves his wife. He has to be strong and brave for everyone in the town.

2. What makes this character the most interesting character in the movie? He has to figure it out as he goes. He has no idea how to defeat the monsters attacking his town folk and has to make some very difficult decisions. His demeanor had no noticeable change but his commitment continues to evolve.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie? He has to kill innocent town folk who turn into monsters. He doesn’t take revenge on the stranger who killed people in his town. He gives a citation to someone just to make them feel loved. He surrenders to the ultimate sacrifice to save the life of his wife and town folk.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor? He’s introduced as a humble sheriff investigating a crime scene in the middle of Barrow Alaska which shows how keen his intuition is. He’s an intense person with some humor and has asthma. He goes about doing his daily routine, giving out citations to law breakers but for their own good. He’s wondering why a series of crimes are suddenly happening on this special day. After finding out that all the sled dogs in the town have been slaughtered he goes on the hunt for the perp.

5. What is this character’s emotional range? His mood is, he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders however through all the pain he goes through he does manage to rekindle things with his wife. He goes from a scared sheriff to a warrior in the end defeating the head monster and gaining the respect of the other monsters.

6. What subtext can the actor play? When talking with his wife he hides his true feelings from her. He hides his fear by staying calm and cool headed at all times. He tries to get a leg up on the monsters so he can save the town folk.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has? He loves his brother and his wife dearly. He has a competitive relationship with the head monster although he hides from him through the whole movie.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented? By staying cool and calm and keeping his emotions in check. He has great leadership skills.

9. What makes this character special and unique? His outstanding leadership skills earn him the respect and confidence of the town folk and in the end even the monsters have to respect his leadership traits.

10. In the climax scene the monsters try to set the town on fire as to not leave a trace that they were ever there. Eben sees that the fire is about to kill his wife and an innocent little girl. Eben decides to become a vampire so he can fight the vampire leader so his wife can escape the flames.

Lead Character Name: Marlow (Antagonist)

1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role? Marlow is the lead vampire who kills without mercy and doesn’t want to turn any victims or leave any trace behind. He has a certain code and emotions for his followers.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie? He is devoted to completing the mission and even plans to return the following year. He is ruthless. They all speak in a unique vampire language.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie? He takes the life of the woman he loves once she becomes injured and can no longer fend for herself. He kills his vampire familiar when he’s seen as helpless handcuffed in a jail cell. He respects Eben as a leader when he decides to fight him one on one.

4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor? He’s first introduced as a ruthless vicious vampire monster, leading his pack to killing someone and putting his head on a spike. He’s very well respected by his followers. He has a very unique language

5. What is this character’s emotional range? He shows sympathy for his female follower before he kills her but also uses an innocent girl as bait and then slaughters her for her failure.

6. What subtext can the actor play? There is nowhere for the victims to run or hide. The victims don’t deserve to live and they don’t deserve to become vampires. Humans are nothing but food.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has? His non physical relationship with Eben until the end when they finally meet is very interesting.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented? He has demanding and impressive leadership skills.

9. What makes this character special and unique? His language is unique. He never punishes or seems surprised when the town folk turn into vampires after he ordered his followers not to turn anyone. He knows that there are only three days left to burn the town down.

10. When Marlow has to kill the woman vampire he seems to care the most for because she’s been injured by fire, he becomes even more angry and decides to not leave any trace that they have been there. He decides to burn the whole town down.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Genre Conventions

I learned how the genre conventions will keep your story on track while creating.

· TITLE: Two Years Past Freedom

· GENRE: Syfy Horror

· HIGH CONCEPT: In a world where The Vatican is at war with The Vampire Nations a young black woman, Najah Blackman, a black history major, must time travel to kill her pure blood vampire ancestor before someone else does or she’ll spend the rest of her life as a vampire, changing history forever.

Scyfy Convention:

PURPOSE: To cause us to think outside of our own world.

FANTASTIC WORLDS: The world of the story is dramatically different from

our current world, in one or more major ways. It could be our world with

some major shift.

ACT 1:

Opening: There is a 20 year war raging between the Vatican and the Vampire nations and no sign of a peace agreement. On the front lines Vatican Royal guards are being slaughtered as well as suited for war Vampires. However for the rich and powerful Vampire elite, life couldn’t be better. In the fortress home where Najah lives with her elite family, it’s her 21^st birthday party and transformation celebration. The whole family is present as well as higher up vampires from various dynasties. However after a traumatic memory is triggered she refuses go through with the transformation. She doesn’t want to become a vampire. Najah finds out that the current Vampire leadership, her father, is corrupt and doesn’t want peace with the humans at all. They only want to control humans as a food source.

Inciting Incident: Najah meets with her history professor, her uncle, who finds his way to her bedroom through a secret corridor, and discovers a way to end the curse for her. Najah takes an IV bag full of dead man’s blood to the crypt of her sleeping ancestor to slip it into his cocktail and kill him. She is caught trying to permanently end the life of her ancestor who is currently lying in a sleep state in the family mausoleum until a time pre-determined a century later.

Turning Point: During her birthday party, Najah is given a gift that causes her to time travel. The gift is a family heirloom given to her by her uncle at her birthday party. The first night she is locked away in her room she is briefly swept away to the year 1863.

ACT 2:

New Plan: When Najah returns to the present and confides secretly to her uncle what happened. He gather many documents from the fortress archives to study. Najah discovers the location of her vampire patriarchal ancestor in the year 1863 and plans to time travel to kill him on the plantation where he is a slave. Her ancestor has to die by her hands, a blood relative, to break the curse.

Plan in Action: Najah has no control over when she can time travel; it can happen at any time. Her only clue is a dizzy spell. To find out who her ancestor is and kill him, Najah has to fit in with the slaves on the plantation deceiving the slaves and the slave masters. Najah has to convince everyone that she is a bonded slave from a different plantation on loan to pay a debt but must return periodically.

Midpoint Turning point: Najah discovers that the kindest person on the plantation, the one elder she is most fond of is her ancestor that she has to kill. Najah notices that he is wearing the same family heirloom she was given on her birthday. He knows her plans for him but keeps it to himself. He explains who he is and how he became a slave. She discovers that he and the slave masters have a mutual agreement when it comes to the tobacco farming and use of slaves and how they are able to live in peace.

ACT 3:

Rethink Everything: Najah is called back to the present/future and researches more about the time period and discovers it is the era of the emancipation proclamation and that her great ancestor plays a major role. She’s concerned about reshaping history. She discovers that all slaves were set free in 1863 by the emancipation proclamation. Najah is summoned back to the past.

New Plan: Najah confides in the elder telling him her dilemma and why she doesn’t want to be who she is destined to be and there is only one way to prevent it. Najah realizes that it is her great elder who is calling her back to the past for a reason, to fulfill a prophecy in the future. “From future’s past will peace come.” Najah confesses to her elder that she is from the future. She explains the conditions of the war and horrible fate of human kind in the future and why she can’t be a vampire. Najah finds out that Josiah was forcefully put to sleep in the future because he wanted to garner a peaceful existence with the humans like in the past.

Turning Point: Vampire Hunters arrive at the plantation operating as Emancipation Proclamators who go from one plantation to another spreading the news of freedom but also killing vampires along the way. Najah and her uncle research the archives and discover more about Cpt. Stanley and his freedom squad.

ACT 4:

Climax: Najah has to kill her ancestor before Cpt. Stanley can or she will live her life as a vampire in the present. She has to save her ancestor’s life by killing the soldiers.

Resolution: After the soldiers are all dead, Najah can’t bring herself to kill her ancestor. She embraces who she is and falls in love with her history and family heritage. She returns to the present. The battle has made its way to Najah’s front door. Her father, scheming for more power and to head the family arms the Fortress for the battle. Najah sneaks to the crypt and releases her elder. He assumes head of the family and calls for a temporary cease fire. He puts a stop to the current Vampire agenda and leads the Vatican/Vampire peace accord. She searches the history books to now discover that Najah has to make one final trip to the past because the freedom news did not reach the slaves in Texas for another two years because she killed the emancipation proclamators before they could reach Texas delaying freedom for over 250000 slaves.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott 4 Act Transitional Structure

I learned that stories are not thought out in dreams and inspirations. Stories are created through order, formula and structure .

· HIGH CONCEPT: A young black woman must time travel to kill her pure blood vampire ancestor before someone else does or she’ll spend the rest of her life as a vampire, changing history forever.

· MAIN CONFLICT: Najah must kill her elderly vampire ancestor before the vampire hunters kill him or live her life as a vampire in the future.

Old Ways: self hatred, out spoken, sickly, hates her heritage, disobedient, hates the world she lives in.

New Ways: Loves herself, proud, victorious leader, the one to lead the world to peace, proud of her heritage.

ACT 1:

Opening: It’s Najah’s 21^st birthday party and transformation celebration. The whole family is present as well as higher up vampires from various dynasties for her official vampire transformation ceremony. However after a memory is triggered about how human donors are treated, she refuses go through with the transformation. She doesn’t want to become a vampire.

Inciting Incident: Najah meets with her history professor and discovers a way to end the curse for her. She is caught trying to permanently end the life of her ancestor who is currently lying in a sleep state in the family mausoleum until a time pre-determined.

Turning Point: Najah is given a gift that causes her to time travel.

ACT 2:

New Plan: Najah discovers the location of her vampire patriarchal ancestor in the year 1863 and plans to time travel to kill him on the plantation where he is a slave. Her ancestor has to die by her hands, a blood relative, to break the curse.

Plan in Action: To find out who her ancestor is and kill him, Najah has to fit in with the slaves on the plantation deceiving the slaves and the slave masters.

Midpoint Turning point: Najah discovers that the kindest person on the plantation, the one elder she is most fond of is her ancestor that she has to kill.

ACT 3:

Rethink Everything: Najah is called back to the present/future and researches more about the time period and discovers it is the era of the emancipation proclamation and that her great ancestor plays a major role. She’s concerned about reshaping history.

New Plan: Najah realizes that it is her great elder who is calling her back to the past for a reason, to fulfill a prophecy in the future. “From future’s past will peace come.”

Turning Point: Vampire Hunters arrive at the plantation operating as Emancipation Proclamators who go from one plantation to another spreading the news of freedom but also killing vampires along the way.

ACT 4:

Climax: Najah has to kill her ancestor before Cpt. Stanley can or she will live her life as a vampire in the present. She has to save her ancestor’s life by killing the soldiers.

Resolution: After the soldiers are all dead, Najah can’t bring herself to kill her ancestor. She embraces who she is and falls in love with her history and family heritage. She returns to the present and leads the Vatican/Vampire peace accord. She searches the history books to now discover that the freedom news did not reach the slaves in Texas for another two years because she killed the emancipation proclamators before they could reach Texas delaying freedom for over 250000 slaves.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Transformational Journey

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

In order to give the story depth and help make the main character relatable to the audience he/she has to go through natural occurrences to create layers.

LOGLINE: A young black woman suffering from a blood disorder time travels to Savannah Georgia 1863 to discover a cure and save her life.

· GENRE: DRAMA SCYFY HORROR

· TITLE: TWO YEARS PAST FREEDOM

· HIGH CONCEPT: A young black woman must time travel to kill her pure blood vampire ancestor before someone else does or she’ll spend the rest of her life as a vampire.

· STORY HOOK: On Najah Blackman’s 21^st birthday she’s given an ancient family heirloom causing her to time travel to a slave plantation in Savannah 1863 to devise a plan to kill her vampire ancestor or live her life as a vampire in the future and altering history forever.

SUBTEXTS PLOTS:

· Someone hides who they are: Najah Blackman time travels to a slave plantation and has to pretend she is a bonded slave from Texas. She has to also hide the fact that she more than anything wants to kill her vampire ancestor and hope it will prevent her from turning into a vampire when she returns to the future.

· Competitive Agendas: In order to successfully end the ancient vampire curse she’s facing, Najah must kill her great ancestor-grandfather before the vampire hunters are successful killing him. CPT: Stanley is in command of a special vampire hunter squad posing as North freedom fighters and emancipation proclamators.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott Transformational Journey

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not as a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and become well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned that the main characters need to evolve into something better or worse than how they started so the audience can connect to them.

Arc Beginning: Najah Blackman a sickly insecure 21 year old black history major.

Arc Ending: fulfills the prophecy of becoming the one who brings an end to the Vatican/Vampire wars.

Internal journey: from a sickly girl who hates who she is to a strong proud and confident world leader.

External journey: From time traveling to kill her ancestor to protecting him and joining him to kill his enemies and bringing peace to the future world.

Old Ways:

· Unaware of her family history

· Hating herself and everything her and her family represent.

· Determined to kill her ancestor

· Average student

· Ashamed of herself and her family

· No friends

· Shy and secluded lifestyle

· Sickly and dying

New Ways:

· Graduates with honors

· Proud and sure of herself

· Loves who she is.

· Loves her heritage.

· Protects her ancestor

· Fighting for a cause

· Courageous.

· Victorious.

· Healthy

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Intentional Lead Characters

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and be well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned how to create intentional lead characters for my screenplay and get started seeing the vision of the outline.

· Protagonist: Najah Blackman: a 21 year old black history student.

· Triangle Character Grimmet Freedman: A 2 century year old Vampire from Sierra Leone.

· Antagonist: CPT. Jacob Stanley: US Army Infantry commander and Vampire Hunter.

———————————————————————————-

· CHARACTER: Najah Blackman

· LOGLINE: A desperate timid 21 year old history major dying from a rare blood disease who must time travel to kill her ancestor before someone else does or live her life as a vampire in the future.

· UNIQUE: Grimmet Freedman’s great-great-great granddaughter.

· CHARACTER: Grimmet Freedman

· LOGLINE: A two century year old pure blood vampire who voluntarily came to America from Sierra Leone as a slave.

· UNIQUE: A Vampire who is hungry for power and wants to start a new race of powerful humans in the colonies.

· CHARACTER: CPT. Jacob Stanley

· LOGLINE: while under the cover of spreading news of the Emancipation Proclamation, a by the book Army Captain with the 1^st Infantry Hunting Regiment; a special unit commissioned to hunt and kill vampires throughout the southern regions during the civil war has long set his focus on seeking out and killing Grimmet Freedman.

· UNIQUE: Vampire Hunter.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Title, Concept, and Character Structure.

My true vision as a writer is to fall in love with writing and stay motivated to write from the love of writing and not a chore and then hoping others will love my creations and be well known as a top writer in the screenplay community.

I learned in my previous class that a good outlive is a great way to start. But this assignment I learned that a great outline in the actual first draft and hopefully the screen play may not need updated versions. Deciding on which character structure will help keep focus on the story and character development.

Title: Two years past Freedom

· HIGH CONCEPT: A
young black woman must time travel to kill her pure blood vampire ancestor
before someone else does or spend the rest of her life as a vampire and causing
history to change forever.

Character Structure: Dramatic Triangle

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Tony Scott.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  Tony Scott.

[Tony Scott]

I already introduced myself.

tony J.

[Tony Scott]

I replied earlier

thanks

tony j.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

I agree to the terms of this release form

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Tony Scott]

✅

[Tony Scott]

I’m tony j. scott

I’ve written one full feature from my previous class with SU.

I’ve written a few short film scripts.

I self published two Religious Syfy novels

I have a BA in Religious Studies

I hope to fall in love with writing.

I’m a US Army Veteran, An award winning ballroom dancer

I’m an actor Imdb Tony J. Scott. I drink coffee mostly because I like the assorted creamers.

[Tony Scott]

✅

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1

BLOODSTREAM

A group of Colon Cancer Survivors are kidnapped and drained of blood.

I learned how to take each scene and add what is needed and how to organize everything before I write the script.

BLOODSTREAM – HORROR SITUATION TRACK

1. INT. BASEMENT OF MONSTERS HOUSE – NIGHT

ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:

Cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 now empty surgical type bondage chairs.

2. INT. CANCER AFTERCARE TREATMENT LOBBY – NIGHT

It’s 3 years later. Chessley waits for the elevator.

3. INT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT

Something goes wrong with the elevator, it stops on floor six, he’s confused. He’s forced to take a detour to floor ten.

4. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR -NIGHT

Horror situation: The bridge to the detour is dark and scary looking. Chessley doesn’t want to take the detour.

· ANXIETY: He has to take the bridge but feels like something is shady. He keeps looking across the bridge for someone to prove it’s safe to cross.

· FEAR: As he crosses the bridge he doesn’t know if he should look forward or behind so he does both nervously.

· SUSPENSE: The lights on the bridge begin to flicker

5. INT. DETOUR ELEVATOR – NIGHT

Chessley is riding the elevator to floor ten but it stops on eight, begins to swing upward and then descends straight to the garage level.

Horror Situation: The detour elevator lands on the garage floor. Chessley is apprehensive about getting off.

· APPREHESION: Chessley begins pressing all the buttons on the panels. He presses the emergency button. He presses the door-open button. He hangs out of the door leaving one foot in.

· FEAR: He jumps back in just as the elevator slams shut but then the doors open again. The doors begin to shut, and then begin to open, and then repeats and repeats.

· ANGUISH: Chessley doesn’t want to but he tries to run for the light at the end of the garage.

· MONSTER REVEAL: Without even clearly getting off the elevator, Out of nowhere Chessley is swooped up by an unseen entity.

NOTE: This chain of events happens six times. I’m only listing three of them.

6. EXT. PEACHTREE STREET BUS STOP – NIGHT

Derrick just got off the Marta bus and is walking to the Cancer Aftercare Treatment Center. From outside the door he notices a woman carrying a guitar case standing at the Express Elevator.

7. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Derrick is forced off the express elevator. He doesn’t want to take the detour across the bridge. He frantically presses the up arrow on the elevator.

· APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: Derrick doesn’t want to take the bridge.

· SURPRISE: The detour elevator doors open.

· FEAR: Derrick is afraid because his only choice is to take the elevator.

· ANGUISH: Derrick takes the detour elevator

8. INT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster Elevator stops working.

· SUSPENSE: The elevator stops on floor eight. Derrick thinks someone is going to get on. The elevator doors never open but the car swings up and then straight down to the garage level.

· APPREHENSION: Derrick suspects the elevator is malfunctioning.

· FEAR: He thinks he might die on impact.

· FEAR: Derrick begins pressing all the buttons on the panels. He presses the emergency button. He presses the door-open button.

· ANGUISH: He exits the elevator after noticing the light at the end of the garage

9. INT. PARING GARAGE– NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Derrick leaves the Monster elevator

· APPRENESION: Derrick takes out his cell phone to shine a light.

· SURPRISE: He looks around. He steps to his right but trips over something. It’s a guitar case.

· APPRENSION: He sees someone pass under the exit light and calls out.

10. INT. PARKING GARAGE-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Derrick hears moaning and heavy breathing and what also sounds like snarling.

· APPREHENSION: Afraid for his life now, he heads toward the lit exit sign.

· FEAR: He looks behind him and sees a shadowing image quickly pass under the light in front of the elevator doors.

· REACTION: Derrick freezes in place. Derrick notices an old Chevy Impala parked. He wants to steal it so he can escape. He pulls on the door handle.

· SURPRISE: Suddenly car alarms begin to blare throughout the garage.

· FEAR: Derrick sees a shadow on the wall across from him.

· REACTION: Derrick looks toward a large Cadillac SUV and runs to duck under it.

· ANXIETY: His eyes search the garage from under the SUV.

· MONSTER REVEAL: Derrick feels both ankles grabbed and his body snatched from under the SUV.

· The MONSTER ASSISTANT subdues Derrick and renders him unconscious. The Monster’s assistant drags Derricks unconscious body to a white construction van parked in a dark corner. He opens the door and tosses Derrick into the back by his ankle. We see a few other unconscious bodies previously stacked in the van. The Monster’s assistant slams the doors shut.

·

11. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Wanda takes a look across the bridge and doesn’t like what she sees. Wanda looks for a stairwell exit next to the express elevator. She finds s stairwell exit but the door is locked.

· APPREHESION: She senses something fishy.

· APPREHESION: She hears the ding of the Monster elevator from across the bridge but the bridge is still dark.

· ANGUISH: She begins to cross the bridge

· REACTION: She tries the exit door next to the Monster elevator

· CREEPY: She takes the Monster Elevator and as the Monster elevator doors close, the Express Elevator doors open.

12. INT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT

12. Wanda enters the Monster elevator. The doors shut. She pushes for floor ten and watches the floor panel lights with skepticism. The Monster elevator rises to floor eight and stops between floors eight and nine. She holds on as the Monster elevator plunges to the garage level. Wanda hides behind the panel as the doors open. She peeks once then twice and then a third time. She notices the guitar case and remembers seeing a woman carrying one earlier.

12.

13. FLASH BACK.

13.WANDA SITTING IN ONE OF THE OFFICES WATCHING A FOLLOW UP VIDEO WHEN SHE SEES MICHELLE WALKING CARRYING HER GUITAR TOWARD THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR.

13.

14. INT. PARKING GARAGE LEVEL

Wanda presses the door open lock button, leaves one leg in the elevator while she tries to reach for the guitar case handle. The elevator door begins closing. Wanda, surprised loses her balance and ends up outside the elevator. Wanda presses the elevator button but nothing happens. She scans the garage and decides to head toward the exit sign. She can see a lit street lamp at the end of the exit way. She grabs the guitar case and begins to walk. After taking a few steps forward she hears the monster elevator ding and the doors open.

HORROR SITUATION: Wanda sees a shadowing figure flash past the elevator doors and then the doors shut closed. Looking for the shadowing figure, Wanda becomes furious.

· ANGUISH: Wanda turns to run for the exit.

· MONSTER REVEAL: She runs into the monster assistant

· REACTION: An MMA fight begins, Wanda is the winner.

· RELEASE: She believes the coast is clear now and continues for the exit

· SURPRISE: but she is cut off by the real Monster.

She tries her best to fight but it’s useless. Wanda is overpowered by the Monster and thrown into the back of the waiting van. The guitar case gets crushed as the van drives off.

15. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR –NIGHT

Each member of the kidnapped group files one by one past the Funeral Director, up the isle toward a closed casket. All members file past the closed casket and then to take a seat in the seating area pews. One person is already seated and another person is standing to give a eulogy.

HORROR SITUATION: Once they sit, everyone in the group is frozen and unable to move once they sit in the pews. The only person able to move is the speaker.

· DENIAL: No one in the group is able to move, they can’t remember anything, like they are in a trance. Even the speaker seems like a robot.

· REACTION: They hear a buzzer sounding

· MONSTER REVEAL: The monster is present but is acting as the Funeral Director.

ACT II

16. INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

The group is in the Monster basement for the very first time. The Monster basement is a dungeon surrounding an interior room that closely resembles a white pristine hygienically clean surgery room. The walls are positioned in a half moon shape. There are eight chairs and eight people in the group.

HORROR SITUTION: Each new group member wakes up except one of them. They are strapped to chairs and have an IV attached to their arm.

· SHOCK: They are in shock at the condition, and can’t remember anything.

· REACTION: They each scream and yell for help. They try to loosen their bonds.

· DENIAL: Some of the group members believe that this is part of the week four of their colon cancer after care treatment program

· CREEPY: They can barely see what looks like a closed casket on the other side of a sheer curtain. There is also a large clock and timer hanging from the ceiling

· SCARY: They notice that one person in the chairs is either dead or unconscious.

· DENIAL: They are convinced by Michelle that the IV is just part of the treatment.

HORROR SITUATION: They each discuss the last thing they remember. The agree that the last thing they can remember is taking a detour to the tenth floor. They go around the room introducing themselves. Derrick is reluctant. Doesn’t want to know any names for faces he just wants to go back to work.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.

17. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Everyone is seated except the same person who was reading from before. She continues finishing with her eulogy and then walks past the funeral director and out the door.

HORROR SITUATION: Everyone is frozen and unable to move, the same as last time. It’s as if they are awake but unconscious with their eyes open.

18. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group has returned from the wake service and back to the monster basement. They are in different chairs from before and the person who was asleep is gone. There is one empty chair.

HORROR SITUATION: They don’t remember ever leaving their seats or anything about the wake service at the funeral parlor.

· REACTION: Michelle notices that she is closer to the exit door than before and there is an empty chair at the end of the room.

· REACTION: Wanda notices that there is one person who is missing and a chair is empty too.

· DENIAL: Some think and then agree that the missing person must have finished her treatment for the day.

· DENIAL: It reminds them of the Colon Cancer Center from when they received chemo. The chairs were set up the same way but without the straps.

· APPREHENSION: Michelle remembers that the IV drip started when the clock buzzed but is now no longer dripping.

· SCARY: They hear chopping noises coming from an outer room.

· REACTION: They yell for someone to come and explain what’s going on.

· CREEPY: Know one shows up to greet them and the chopping continues.

Nikki, Wanda, Michelle, Chessley and Malcolm begin to tell their stories about how they had colon cancer, the treatment, that they were on the Vampire Blood donor list and that they were all reluctant at first to sign on with the Cancer Aftercare Treatment program sponsored by the Vampire/Human Peace Incentive Organization. (As a way for the Vampire Community to give back). They explain why they agreed to the program. Chessley tells how he didn’t really think he deserved to be treated at the center since he killed his younger brother but that his Uncle talked him into it by trying to convince him it wasn’t his fault that his younger brother overdosed on the drugs he was selling. Nikki was skeptical about joining the group until her boyfriend convinced her. Wanda was skeptical until another former Marine assured her the follow up treatment was exactly what she needed. Derrick wasn’t going to join but his boss at the firm said it was mandatory or they’d lose the funding for future medical benefits. Michelle was also skeptical but was promised her band would have her job waiting for her when she was fully recovered and that she’d be strong enough to go on the tour. Malcolm, who has always had an overweight problem and has already begun putting his overweight back on, was assured that this aftercare treatment would help him lose the weight and keep it off. All agreed that the reps were very nice and the videos were awesome and for the first three weeks it’s been exactly the wonderful experience they promised. (Show a montage of each person receiving a letter from the V/HPIO and their responses/skepticism). Derrick and Reader number two don’t get involved in the conversations. Derrick is indignant, and rude about the whole thing. They remember the elevator detour.

(NOTE THESE ARE ALL MONTAGES AND FLASHBACKS and are included as a reminder for me to include in the script)

HORROR SITUATION: They hear a door slam, a phone ringing, they think they can hear voices beyond the room they’re in.

· REACTION: They shush each other

· APPREHENSION: They believe someone is coming to finally greet them.

· SCARY: The lights turn off, everything goes black.

· REACTION: They all begin to scream for help in the dark

· MONSTER REVEAL: In the dark no one can see the Monster Assistant.

· SUSPENSE: Nikki thinks she can feel someone or something standing over her.

· REACTION: Nikki yells out.

· CREEPY: Nikki feels someone or something wet touching her thighs

· REACTION: Nikki yells out

· RELEASE: The molestation stops

HORROR SITUATION: The lights turn on; they are the only ones in the room. Everyone thinks Derrick is up to something and is a part of whatever this is. The clock buzzes and the IV drip begins.

· REACTION: Wanda orders everyone to notice the sequence of things, take a headcount and notice where they are sitting like they are hands on the clock. She is twelve and there are eight chairs and seven people in the room.

· DENIAL: Derrick responds against it.

19. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Filing in like robots, the group files past the Funeral Director standing by the front entrance, past the closed casket and then to their seats. The only person able to move once they sit is the next eulogy reader who gets up walks to the front and begins reading the eulogy. The reader gets halfway through the read and we hear a clock buzzing.

20. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group has returned to the monster basement with no memory of the wake service at the funeral parlor. Wanda notices the IV drip has stopped and calls for everyone to answer up. Everyone answers up except Derrick and reader number two. Derrick does however add that reader number two is unconscious.

HORROR SITUATION: Everyone notices that they are in the same chairs as before and that the headcount remains the same and the one empty chair. Everyone is awake except the reader.

· ANXIETY: Everyone yells for the reader to wake up

· DENIAL: Derrick reminds them that all this strategy is a waste of time.

· SCARY: Malcolm notices that the IV drip is still dripping in the unconscious person

· ANGUISH: Michelle concentrates on the sleep person and the trace of casket she can see silhouetted behind the curtain. She begins to feel like this is all some way familiar.

· REACTION: Michelle explains what she’s feeling.

· DENIAL: Derrick cracks a joke, not in Kansas anymore Todo.

· SCARY: Derrick can hear a water hose running from the other room.

· REACTION: He finally speaks up. He tells everyone to be quiet and listen.

· ANGUISH: They put together that they heard the water hose running after they heard the chopping sounds.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes. Wanda shouts out the same orders from before. Everyone agrees except Derrick and the unconscious person.

21. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

The group is already seated, frozen, and unable to speak; the same reader is standing at the podium continuing with the eulogy. (He’s saying the exact same words as the first reader). The speaker wraps it up and then exits the room past the funeral director.

HORROR SITUATION: They hear the clock buzzer sound.

22. INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

The clock sounds and the group has returned to the monster basement. Wanda sounds off with present and so do the others. Derrick doesn’t sound off but tells everyone that the sleeping guy next to him is gone. Everyone notices that the person is missing and there are now two empty chairs. They notice no IV dripping. Most of all they notice that each person has moved one spot over clockwise position.

HORROR SITUATION: They begin to notice more but have no recollection of the funeral parlor but they do discover that the time on the clock has advanced by thirty minutes.

· ANGUISH: Malcolm doesn’t want to point it out but he noticed the time has a thirty minute difference.

· CREEPY: Chessley points out that the chopping has begun again from the outer room.

· DENIAL: Nikki wonders if maybe the first two people finished their treatment and were released.

· REACTION: Derrick demands to see who is in charge.

· SCARY: The lights turn off again and the room is dark. They can hear other noises from outside the room, a microwave, whispering, chewing sounds, a large walk-in freezer door closing.

· SCARY: The lights return.

· APPREHESION: Michelle thinks she can see someone standing behind the sheer curtain, just standing.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes. Everyone is sharp now. They all pay attention to the clock and how the IV drip begins.

· REACTION: They get a headcount of six persons, the time on the clock and that everyone is awake. The IV bag begins to drip.

23. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: They all file by the Funeral Director and paste the closed casket. Everyone takes a seat in the pews.

· APPREHENSION: After a few minutes Chessley rises up and walks to the front of the room and behind the podium.

· REACTION: No one in the audience reacts because they are unable to.

· DENIAL: No one expects anything out of the ordinary.

Chessley begins the first part of the eulogy, same words as the previous two readers. At about halfway through the read the clock buzzes.

24. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.

HORROR SITUATION: Everyone wakes up from the IV drip and notice that the clock has a time of thirty minutes later.

· REACTION: Wanda takes another headcount and has everyone sound off with present.

· ANGUISH: They all notice that Chessley didn’t sound off with present.

· APPREHENSION: They notice they are all in the same seats, haven’t been moved

· REACTION: Everyone wonders about the loss of time

· ANGUISH: Michelle points out the two phase cycle she believes is happening. The water hose, The clock, loss of time, waking up, one person still asleep, buzzing, loss of time again, waking up, one missing, chopping sounds.

· CREEPY: They all direct their attention to Chessley, who is still unconscious.

· REACTION: Derrick points out that he can hear the water hose running again.

· SCARY: They all yell for Chessley to wake up.

Michelle focuses more on the front of the room and the casket she can see behind the curtain and wants everyone to do the same. A few remark how it reminds them of a funeral they recently attended but couldn’t remember who had died. (Maybe it was a distant relative). They agree that it was more like a WAKE service.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.

25. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

The group has returned to the funeral parlor already seated and Chessley is finishing up his eulogy. He tries to give some kind of signal to the group or say something different but he can’t.

· MONSTER REVEAL: He is instructed by the Funeral Director that it’s time to exit.

· REACTION: Chessley walks the isle past the group and the Funeral director and exits the room.

26. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.

HORROR SITUATION: After the accountability check they notice that Chessley is no longer with them and that they have all moved their position and there are now three empty chairs.

· REACTION: They immediately look toward where Chessley was sitting. Michelle’s eyes are full of tears. She is in the position where Chessley was. But the order has seemed at random so it’s hard to determine who will be next.

· DENIAL: They call out Chessley’s name hoping he is still in the building.

· RELEASE: Malcolm suggests that maybe there is a good safety reason as to why they are strapped into the chairs, like for their own good.

· TERROR: They can hear the chopping and what also sounds like the buzzing of a saw from the outer room.

· DENIAL: Michelle prays that the chopping isn’t what she thinks it is.

· ANGUISH: Derrick points out that this might be everyone’s fate in the end.

· CREEPY: Nikki sounds off about how her school-girl pleated skirt has been pulled up almost over her hips.

· DENIAL: Malcolm suggests that maybe it happened during the move because he can see that his right shoe lace has become untied.

· REACTION: Nikki remarks how the buttons on her blouse are partially unbuttoned.

· ANGUISH: Michelle points out what seems to be a continuous dream she’s having about a Wake service and she’s sure everyone is there with her.

· REACTION: Nikki agrees and adds how she remembers Chessley getting up and how she tried to reach out to him.

· SCARY: Malcolm asks who they think the next person will be.

· REACTION: They all look toward Derrick who is sitting next to where Chessley was sitting.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.

· REACTION: Wanda orders everyone to remember something from the loss time and suggests maybe the Wake service is the best idea so far.

27. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

The group files past the Funeral Director and the closed casket before taking their seats in the pews.

HORROR SITUATION: Michelle stands and walks over to the podium in the front of the room.

· REACTION: Michelle begins to speak.

28. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The typical two phase torture cycle has been interrupted from its normal routine.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster notices that Michelle is not fully unconscious but is out of it enough to not be a threat.

29. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Michelle is slurring her words. Malcolm and Derrick are present sitting in the pews but are collapsed and unconscious. Michelle’s speech is abruptly interrupted. She collapses and falls to the floor. Everyone else is in shock.

30. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster notices that Michelle isn’t fully unconscious. The works of the Monster and the assistant are witnessed by Derrick and Malcolm as the Monster inspects the condition of Michelle.

· REACTION: She is moving her head slightly and breathing irregularly.

· RELEASE: Derrick and Malcolm secretly acknowledge each other.

· REALEASE: The Monster Assistant KIMWAKAZZI, has not distributed the correct IV dosage to the speaker, Michelle, as well as two other group members.

· RELEASE: DERRICK and MALCOLM are fully awake and playing possum. NIKKI and WANDA are fully unconscious.

· RELEASE: Other than Michelle being somewhat conscious, the MONSTER and Kimwakazzi are unaware of the mishap until later when it’s time to bring the whole group back. This is the first instance where anyone from the group will have proof that what they are experiencing is not part of the aftercare cancer treatment. The two men continue to play possum.

· SUSPENSE: The Monster checks to make sure each group member is still unconscious. He checks Wanda. The Monster checks to make sure that Michelle, who is not totally unconscious, is too out of it to notice. The Monster checks Nikki and finds that she is totally unconscious.

· SCARY: Malcolm and Derrick, who are totally awake manage to see everything through tightly squinted eyes.

· CREEPY: Kimwakazzi drops to his knees in front of NIKKI’s chair, while she is unconscious, and begins to lick and suck on her thighs. Malcolm and Derrick can see that his tongue is grotesquely deformed and are freaked out but unable to show it.

· REACTION: The Monster notices this and attacks Kimwakazzi for his behavior.

· SUSPENCE: The Monster slowly approaches Derrick.

· SURPRISE: Suddenly the lights turn out. Everything has gone black, a surprise to the Monster, Kimwakazzi, Derrick and Malcolm.

· SUSPENCE: When the lights come back on the Monster has bent over Derrick and is now face to face with him.

· FEAR: The Monster can feel Derrick’s essence and wants to see if he will flinch.

· REACTION: Derrick’s eyes are totally shut now but he can feel the Monster’s breath on his face. Derrick manages to control the fear he feels. Derrick is holding his own.

· ANGUISH: Malcolm is praying the Monster doesn’t come to him next.

· CREEPY: Malcolm, while able to control his response, is unable to control his bladder as he begins to urinate himself.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster stands over Malcolm and is about to bend over to inspect him when the buzzer sounds.

The clock buzzes and the remainder of the group returns from the FUNERAL PARLOR to the Monster basement. The Monster and Kimwakazzi clear the room just in time.

31. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick agree not to mention what they witnessed, especially to Nikki.

· APPRENHESION: They all return with memories of the Wake and with questions.

· REACTION: Everyone looks toward Michelle who has not answered up.

· ANGUISH: They have to admit that Michelle is next.

· SHOCK: Michelle is partially awake and can talk.

· CREEPY: Everyone can see that Malcolm has peed himself.

· REACTION: They ask what happened to him.

· DENIAL: Malcolm stands fast with Derrick.

· CREEPY: Nikki asks why her blouse is unbuttoned all the way now and exposing her cleavage.

· REACTION: Malcolm can’t help but explain everything he saw and asks Derrick to back him up.

· DENIAL: They don’t believe him and most of all they don’t believe the Monster is who Malcolm claims it is. Impossible.

· REACTION: Derrick fesses up and backs up Malcolm.

· REACTION: Wanda comes up with a plan using Nikki as bait.

· DENIAL: Nikki doesn’t like the idea.

· RELEASE: They suggest that it could save Michelle’s life.

· FEAR: They can hear the water hose running and water draining again.

· ANGUISH: Nikki agrees and hikes her skirt up over her hips and pulls her blouse open more.

· RELEASE: Malcolm and Derrick realize that they have built up a tolerance to the IV dosage because of past drug addictions. They both hope they remain conscious for the next round and agree to play possum again.

The clock buzzer sounds.

32. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.

The group, back in the pews, Michelle is continuing with her eulogy. Everyone is focused on Michelle. Malcolm and Derrick appear to be a little light headed and able to move their head to nod at each other.

CUT TO.

33. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick are fully conscious and able to watch what actually goes on during the second phase of the Wake service.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster and the assistant are busy moving bodies and IV equipment and for the first time we see that their blood is being suctioned by another IV attached to their necks.

· RELEASE: Derrick and Malcolm discover the real reason they are being held captive. They put it together because they know who the Monster is. The Monster and assistant continue to reposition the group into their new chairs.

· SCARY: When the monster gets to Michelle he snatches her and flings her to the floor. Supposedly dead by now.

· REACTION: Derrick and Malcolm, still playing possum, witness her body slam to the floor.

· CREEPY: They can see Kimwakazzi fondling Nikki’s helpless body.

· SUSPENCE: The Monster unstraps and picks up Malcolm and moves him. (AT THE SAME TIME) The Monster is distracted by the movement of Michelle’s body on the floor. She is trying to crawl away. He doesn’t strap Malcolm all the way.

· SUSPENSE: The Monster assistant releases and picks up Derrick and moves him to his new position.

· CREEPY: He’s distracted again by Nikki’s exposed body and forgets to strap Derrick in tightly.

· CREEPY: The monster assistant forgetting to completely strap Derrick in returns to Nikki’s chair.

· REACTION: The monster notices what Kimwakazzi is doing to Nikki. Attacks him.

· REACTION: The monster picks him up and body slams him to across the room.

· MONSTER REVEAL: Again the Monster hears Michelle moaning and moving and is surprised that she isn’t dead. He picks her up and sinks his fangs into her neck. He drains whatever blood she has left in her leaving her dead and partially decapitated. He leaves the room.

· CREEPY: Kimwakazzi, can’t take his eyes off of Nikki..

· MONSTER REVEAL: Kimwakazzi, still googling at Nikki, drags Michelle’s lifeless body to the chopping room.

HORROR SITUATION: Once the Monster and Kimwakazzi leave the chair room, Derrick wants to make a run for it. Malcolm shakes his head no in disagreement to afraid to speek.

CUT TO:

34. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Michelle glances over to Derrick, Malcolm, Wanda and Nikki and mouths the words goodbye. Michelle begins her long walk toward the exit and past the Funeral Director but she collapses midway and won’t get up. The Funeral Director walks to her and helps her to her feet and continues to assist her out the exit.

35. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.

HORROR SITUATION: The group returns and notices that Michelle is no longer with them. They notice the trail of blood.

· DENIAL: They feel like the plan to distract the monster didn’t work.

· Reaction: Niki feels like she sacrificed her body for nothing.

· RELEASE: Malcolm and Derrick explain what happened and that they are only partially strapped in and able to escape.

· MONSTER REVEAL: They also explain that the monster is a popular Det. With the ATLANTA police department who is on TV every week. He’s the vampire/human liaison officer. It’s his job to keep the peace between Humans and Vampires.

HORROR SITUATION: The group can hear chopping of what they are now sure are body parts.

· REACTION: Wanda, what are you guys waiting for let’s get out of here.

· DENIAL: Derrick suggests that only one person escape and goes for help. Too many escaping will get them all killed.

· APPREHENSION: Malcolm tries to release Niki while Derrick tries to release Wanda.

· REACTION: It fails. The monster and his assistant return to the room after hearing the commotion.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

FIGHT TO THE DEATH:

36. INT. ATLANTA POLICE DEPARTMENT VAMPIRE/HUMAN HOMICIDE VICTIMS UNIT – NIGHT

DETECTIVE LEO RILEY is welcomed to the unit by CAPTAIN MARSHAL. He directs Det. Riley to stop by for an unannounced visit to Det. Reineer Davenport who hasn’t shown up for work in over four days and reminds him that Reineer’s brother has been missing.

37. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Malcolm and Derrick have escaped and are on the run. They were unable to free Nikki and Wanda because they thought they heard the Monster and Kimwakazzi returning to the chair room.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick duck behind the black curtain. They see a casket and other scary objects. They see someone chained to the floor with a black hood over her face.

· REACTION: Derrick wants to keep running but Malcolm wants to help her.

· SUSPENSE: Malcolm snatches the hood from her head. She looks to be a fierce vampire.

· SCARY: She glares her fangs and hisses at him causing her chains to rattle.

HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the commotion from behind the curtain and orders his assistant to check it out.

· SCARY: The assistant leaps behind the curtain and growls and glares his fangs hoping to catch the two escapees. He searches but they are gone.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick make their way through the basement noticing things along the way.

· CREEPY: They notice Michelle’s clothing and some mutilated body parts. They come across what appears to be a covered cage.

· DENIAL: They hope to find a survivor in the cage. Derrick insists they find a way out.

· SUSPENCE: Malcolm uncovers the cage.

· SCARY: A vicious vampire dog type leaps at him from behind the cage doors.

· REACTION: Derrick, Can we go now Good Samaritan?

· RELEASE: They find a partially open basement window.

· REACTION: They realize the window is too high to reach. They play rock paper scissors to see who will lift who through the window. They play a few rounds, Derrick cheats at it. Malcolm wins.

· DENIAL: Derrick can’t lift Malcolm’s overweight body.

· DENIAL: Malcolm couldn’t fit through window anyway.

· REACTION: Malcolm lifts Derrick through the window.

HORROR SITUATION: From outside the window, Derrick turns to restate his promise to go for help just as the monster snaps Malcolm’s neck all the way around.

· REACTION: Derrick hides from the Monster’s view.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The monster stands there to look for Derrick.

HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the doorbell ring.

· REACTION: The monster drags Malcolm’s body back to the chair room and places Malcolm’s dead body back into an empty chair.

· REACTION: Nikki and Wanda both yell and scream for help.

HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the doorbell again.

· REACTION: The monster calls for his assistant, no answer.

· DENIAL: The assistant is hiding from the monster.

HORROR SITUATION: The doorbell rings again nonstop.

38. EXT. MONSTER HOUSE – NIGHT

Det. Riley is banging and ringing at the door. Derrick is watching from the side bushes but ready to make a run for it. He has no intentions on helping. After seeing Malcolm killed he figures everyone else is also dead. Derrick watches as Det. Riley enters the house.

· REACTION: Derrick wants to get close enough to hear the conversation.

· DENIAL: Derrick thinks that Det. Riley will save the day.

39. INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR — NIGHT

Det. Riley introduces himself to Det. Davenport and mentions that the Cpt. Told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner relocated from the DEKALB POLICE DEPARTMENT.

HORROR SITUATION: Det. Riley can hear cries for help coming from the basement but doesn’t let on that he can hear them.

· FEAR: The Monster realizes that he has left the basement door open.

· DENIAL: Det. Riley tries to say goodbye so Det. Davenport can get back to whatever he was doing.

· ANGUISH: The Monster believes Det. Riley is onto him.

· SCARY: The front door fly’s open with a loud slam against the wall but there is no gust of wind. Det. Riley reacts to this. He’s caught off guard. He tries to maintain his fear. That was no wind gust.

· REACTION: The Monster shows Det. Riley to the door.

· RELEASE: Det. Riley turns toward the screen door to leave. He’s relieved.

HORROR SITUATION:

· MONSTER REVEAL: Det. Davenport places his left hand on the back of Det. Riley’s upper back/lower neck area as if to pat him on the back, like a good by gesture. But with his right hand he grabs the open Oak Wood door.

·With his left hand Det. Davenport pins Det. Riley’s head to the door-frame and begins slamming the Oak Wood Door onto Det. Riley’s head over and over again. Skull and brain grey matter splatters everywhere including onto Det. Davenport’s face.

· SCARY: Det. Davenport lifts Det. Riley’s dead body over his shoulder, locks the front door and carries him to the basement.

40. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The Monster carries Det. Riley’s body to the basement.

HORROR SITUATION:

He drops Det. Riley’s dead body onto the empty chair between NIKKI and WANDA.

· REACTION: Nikki and Wanda become frantic, Nikki begs for her life to be spared.

41. EXT THE STREET-NIGHT

Derrick, who witnessed the murder of Det. Riley takes off running down the street and has no plans to look back let alone help.

42. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster snatches Wanda from her chair, breaking through the straps and all.

· REACTION: In true Marine fashion.

· SHOCK: She battles it out.

· DENIAL: She refuses to let the Monster make her beg or show any weakness.

· REACTION: The monster sinks his teeth into her neck, drains her of her blood and tosses her body to the floor.

43. INT DET RILEY’S CAR– NIGHT

Derrick has a second thought and turns around. He runs back the police car. Derrick makes a radio call to the police station, Officer Down and he gives them the address. He grabs the shotgun filled with shotgun shells filled with UV serum.

44. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – NIGHT

Derrick makes his way with the shotgun back through the basement window.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster snatches Nikki from behind the chair and throws her into an empty chair and is going to kill her.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster wants to have a little fun with Nikki.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster picks Wanda’s dead body from the floor and treats her like she’s a ventriloquist dummy. He torments Nikki.

· FEAR: The Monster flings Wanda’s body onto the floor. Nikki is hysterical now. She can’t control her fear. She’s struggling in the chair. Her tears wont’ stop crying.

· REACTION: Nikki begs the monster not to kill her and she will do anything he wants, just don’t kill me.

· ANGUISH: She looks at the monster assistant and begs for his help.

· RELEASE: Nikki thinks of a way out.

· REACTION: The Monster agrees to the terms. Nikki can go back under, one more time at the wake service.

45. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Nikki is standing at the podium. All five members of the main group are present to hear her departing eulogy.

46. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The Monster thinks he hears something and sends Kimwakazzi to investigate. Kazzi doesn’t go; instead he hides and only pretends to leave the room.

47. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Nikki can hear a squeaking noise behind her. She turns to look.

· SCARY: While Nikki is reading her speech everyone in attendees stand at the same time as if pulled up all at once. She continues as they all point at the casket, again at the same time.

· SCARY: The casket opens.

· SHOCK: Nikki looks and it’s her body in the casket.

48. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster grabs an unconscious Nikki from her chair and lifts her high over his head. He prepares his free hand, claws drawing out, to snatch Nikki’s heart from her chest.

· SURPRISE: The Monster assistant grabs the Monster’s hand to stop him.

· SHOCK: The Monster can’t believe he’s been betrayed by his assistant.

· MONSTER REVEAL: He flings Nikki to the floor and kills his assistant. The Monster looks around.

· DENIAL: The Monster can’t believe how things have turned out.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster picks Nikki up to kill her.

· SURPRISE: Derrick is behind the Monster. “Hey”

· SHOCK: The Monster turns toward Derrick.

· REACTION: Derrick fires the shotgun.

· ANGUISH: it’s too late. The Monster is holding Niki’s heart in his hand as he bursts into amber flames

· ANGUISH: Derrick takes a look around and can’t believe he survived.

49. INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Derrick is ordered to drop the gun by the waiting police and is swiftly removed from the house. They place Derrick in handcuffs, take him to a police car and begin a search of the house.

50. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-NIGHT

The police discover the torture that has gone on in the house.

They follow the narrow hallway behind the torture room to a room directly behind the chairs and find a series of IV stands containing freshly drawn bags of blood. They continue around the narrow hall to the opposite end and discover a walk-in cooler filled with bags of blood, the chained female vampire and discover a closed casket with an IV drip and fresh bag of blood leading into the casket from the back. They begin to open the casket…

CUT TO:

THREE MONTHS EARLIER:

A lone Catholic priest sits on a parkbench at sunrise. A pleading voice can be heard over a speaker cellphone.

End Outline.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Tony Scott.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Tony Scott.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Tony Scott.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  Tony Scott.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1

I learned how to take each scene and add what is needed and how to organize everything before I write the script.

BLOODSTREAM – HORROR SITUATION TRACK

1. INT. BASEMENT OF MONSTERS HOUSE – NIGHT

ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:

Cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 now empty surgical type bondage chairs.

2. INT. CANCER AFTERCARE TREATMENT LOBBY – NIGHT

It’s 3 years later. Chessley waits for the elevator.

3. INT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT

Something goes wrong with the elevator, it stops on floor six, he’s confused. He’s forced to take a detour to floor ten.

4. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR -NIGHT

Horror situation: The bridge to the detour is dark and scary looking. Chessley doesn’t want to take the detour.

· ANXIETY: He has to take the bridge but feels like something is shady. He keeps looking across the bridge for someone to prove it’s safe to cross.

· FEAR: As he crosses the bridge he doesn’t know if he should look forward or behind so he does both nervously.

· SUSPENSE: The lights on the bridge begin to flicker

5. INT. DETOUR ELEVATOR – NIGHT

Chessley is riding the elevator to floor ten but it stops on eight, begins to swing upward and then descends straight to the garage level.

Horror Situation: The detour elevator lands on the garage floor. Chessley is apprehensive about getting off.

· APPREHESION: Chessley begins pressing all the buttons on the panels. He presses the emergency button. He presses the door-open button. He hangs out of the door leaving one foot in.

· FEAR: He jumps back in just as the elevator slams shut but then the doors open again. The doors begin to shut, and then begin to open, and then repeats and repeats.

· ANGUISH: Chessley doesn’t want to but he tries to run for the light at the end of the garage.

· MONSTER REVEAL: Without even clearly getting off the elevator, Out of nowhere Chessley is swooped up by an unseen entity.

NOTE: This chain of events happens six times. I’m only listing three of them.

6. EXT. PEACHTREE STREET BUS STOP – NIGHT

Derrick just got off the Marta bus and is walking to the Cancer Aftercare Treatment Center. From outside the door he notices a woman carrying a guitar case standing at the Express Elevator.

7. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Derrick is forced off the express elevator. He doesn’t want to take the detour across the bridge. He frantically presses the up arrow on the elevator.

· APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: Derrick doesn’t want to take the bridge.

· SURPRISE: The detour elevator doors open.

· FEAR: Derrick is afraid because his only choice is to take the elevator.

· ANGUISH: Derrick takes the detour elevator

8. INT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster Elevator stops working.

· SUSPENSE: The elevator stops on floor eight. Derrick thinks someone is going to get on. The elevator doors never open but the car swings up and then straight down to the garage level.

· APPREHENSION: Derrick suspects the elevator is malfunctioning.

· FEAR: He thinks he might die on impact.

· FEAR: Derrick begins pressing all the buttons on the panels. He presses the emergency button. He presses the door-open button.

· ANGUISH: He exits the elevator after noticing the light at the end of the garage

9. INT. PARING GARAGE– NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Derrick leaves the Monster elevator

· APPRENESION: Derrick takes out his cell phone to shine a light.

· SURPRISE: He looks around. He steps to his right but trips over something. It’s a guitar case.

· APPRENSION: He sees someone pass under the exit light and calls out.

10. INT. PARKING GARAGE-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Derrick hears moaning and heavy breathing and what also sounds like snarling.

· APPREHENSION: Afraid for his life now, he heads toward the lit exit sign.

· FEAR: He looks behind him and sees a shadowing image quickly pass under the light in front of the elevator doors.

· REACTION: Derrick freezes in place. Derrick notices an old Chevy Impala parked. He wants to steal it so he can escape. He pulls on the door handle.

· SURPRISE: Suddenly car alarms begin to blare throughout the garage.

· FEAR: Derrick sees a shadow on the wall across from him.

· REACTION: Derrick looks toward a large Cadillac SUV and runs to duck under it.

· ANXIETY: His eyes search the garage from under the SUV.

· MONSTER REVEAL: Derrick feels both ankles grabbed and his body snatched from under the SUV.

· The MONSTER ASSISTANT subdues Derrick and renders him unconscious. The Monster’s assistant drags Derricks unconscious body to a white construction van parked in a dark corner. He opens the door and tosses Derrick into the back by his ankle. We see a few other unconscious bodies previously stacked in the van. The Monster’s assistant slams the doors shut.

·

11. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Wanda takes a look across the bridge and doesn’t like what she sees. Wanda looks for a stairwell exit next to the express elevator. She finds s stairwell exit but the door is locked.

· APPREHESION: She senses something fishy.

· APPREHESION: She hears the ding of the Monster elevator from across the bridge but the bridge is still dark.

· ANGUISH: She begins to cross the bridge

· REACTION: She tries the exit door next to the Monster elevator

· CREEPY: She takes the Monster Elevator and as the Monster elevator doors close, the Express Elevator doors open.

12. INT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT

12. Wanda enters the Monster elevator. The doors shut. She pushes for floor ten and watches the floor panel lights with skepticism. The Monster elevator rises to floor eight and stops between floors eight and nine. She holds on as the Monster elevator plunges to the garage level. Wanda hides behind the panel as the doors open. She peeks once then twice and then a third time. She notices the guitar case and remembers seeing a woman carrying one earlier.

12.

13. FLASH BACK.

13.WANDA SITTING IN ONE OF THE OFFICES WATCHING A FOLLOW UP VIDEO WHEN SHE SEES MICHELLE WALKING CARRYING HER GUITAR TOWARD THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR.

13.

14. INT. PARKING GARAGE LEVEL

Wanda presses the door open lock button, leaves one leg in the elevator while she tries to reach for the guitar case handle. The elevator door begins closing. Wanda, surprised loses her balance and ends up outside the elevator. Wanda presses the elevator button but nothing happens. She scans the garage and decides to head toward the exit sign. She can see a lit street lamp at the end of the exit way. She grabs the guitar case and begins to walk. After taking a few steps forward she hears the monster elevator ding and the doors open.

HORROR SITUATION: Wanda sees a shadowing figure flash past the elevator doors and then the doors shut closed. Looking for the shadowing figure, Wanda becomes furious.

· ANGUISH: Wanda turns to run for the exit.

· MONSTER REVEAL: She runs into the monster assistant

· REACTION: An MMA fight begins, Wanda is the winner.

· RELEASE: She believes the coast is clear now and continues for the exit

· SURPRISE: but she is cut off by the real Monster.

She tries her best to fight but it’s useless. Wanda is overpowered by the Monster and thrown into the back of the waiting van. The guitar case gets crushed as the van drives off.

15. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR –NIGHT

Each member of the kidnapped group files one by one past the Funeral Director, up the isle toward a closed casket. All members file past the closed casket and then to take a seat in the seating area pews. One person is already seated and another person is standing to give a eulogy.

HORROR SITUATION: Once they sit, everyone in the group is frozen and unable to move once they sit in the pews. The only person able to move is the speaker.

· DENIAL: No one in the group is able to move, they can’t remember anything, like they are in a trance. Even the speaker seems like a robot.

· REACTION: They hear a buzzer sounding

· MONSTER REVEAL: The monster is present but is acting as the Funeral Director.

ACT II

16. INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

The group is in the Monster basement for the very first time. The Monster basement is a dungeon surrounding an interior room that closely resembles a white pristine hygienically clean surgery room. The walls are positioned in a half moon shape. There are eight chairs and eight people in the group.

HORROR SITUTION: Each new group member wakes up except one of them. They are strapped to chairs and have an IV attached to their arm.

· SHOCK: They are in shock at the condition, and can’t remember anything.

· REACTION: They each scream and yell for help. They try to loosen their bonds.

· DENIAL: Some of the group members believe that this is part of the week four of their colon cancer after care treatment program

· CREEPY: They can barely see what looks like a closed casket on the other side of a sheer curtain. There is also a large clock and timer hanging from the ceiling

· SCARY: They notice that one person in the chairs is either dead or unconscious.

· DENIAL: They are convinced by Michelle that the IV is just part of the treatment.

HORROR SITUATION: They each discuss the last thing they remember. The agree that the last thing they can remember is taking a detour to the tenth floor. They go around the room introducing themselves. Derrick is reluctant. Doesn’t want to know any names for faces he just wants to go back to work.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.

17. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Everyone is seated except the same person who was reading from before. She continues finishing with her eulogy and then walks past the funeral director and out the door.

HORROR SITUATION: Everyone is frozen and unable to move, the same as last time. It’s as if they are awake but unconscious with their eyes open.

18. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group has returned from the wake service and back to the monster basement. They are in different chairs from before and the person who was asleep is gone. There is one empty chair.

HORROR SITUATION: They don’t remember ever leaving their seats or anything about the wake service at the funeral parlor.

· REACTION: Michelle notices that she is closer to the exit door than before and there is an empty chair at the end of the room.

· REACTION: Wanda notices that there is one person who is missing and a chair is empty too.

· DENIAL: Some think and then agree that the missing person must have finished her treatment for the day.

· DENIAL: It reminds them of the Colon Cancer Center from when they received chemo. The chairs were set up the same way but without the straps.

· APPREHENSION: Michelle remembers that the IV drip started when the clock buzzed but is now no longer dripping.

· SCARY: They hear chopping noises coming from an outer room.

· REACTION: They yell for someone to come and explain what’s going on.

· CREEPY: Know one shows up to greet them and the chopping continues.

Nikki, Wanda, Michelle, Chessley and Malcolm begin to tell their stories about how they had colon cancer, the treatment, that they were on the Vampire Blood donor list and that they were all reluctant at first to sign on with the Cancer Aftercare Treatment program sponsored by the Vampire/Human Peace Incentive Organization. (As a way for the Vampire Community to give back). They explain why they agreed to the program. Chessley tells how he didn’t really think he deserved to be treated at the center since he killed his younger brother but that his Uncle talked him into it by trying to convince him it wasn’t his fault that his younger brother overdosed on the drugs he was selling. Nikki was skeptical about joining the group until her boyfriend convinced her. Wanda was skeptical until another former Marine assured her the follow up treatment was exactly what she needed. Derrick wasn’t going to join but his boss at the firm said it was mandatory or they’d lose the funding for future medical benefits. Michelle was also skeptical but was promised her band would have her job waiting for her when she was fully recovered and that she’d be strong enough to go on the tour. Malcolm, who has always had an overweight problem and has already begun putting his overweight back on, was assured that this aftercare treatment would help him lose the weight and keep it off. All agreed that the reps were very nice and the videos were awesome and for the first three weeks it’s been exactly the wonderful experience they promised. (Show a montage of each person receiving a letter from the V/HPIO and their responses/skepticism). Derrick and Reader number two don’t get involved in the conversations. Derrick is indignant, and rude about the whole thing. They remember the elevator detour.

(NOTE THESE ARE ALL MONTAGES AND FLASHBACKS and are included as a reminder for me to include in the script)

HORROR SITUATION: They hear a door slam, a phone ringing, they think they can hear voices beyond the room they’re in.

· REACTION: They shush each other

· APPREHENSION: They believe someone is coming to finally greet them.

· SCARY: The lights turn off, everything goes black.

· REACTION: They all begin to scream for help in the dark

· MONSTER REVEAL: In the dark no one can see the Monster Assistant.

· SUSPENSE: Nikki thinks she can feel someone or something standing over her.

· REACTION: Nikki yells out.

· CREEPY: Nikki feels someone or something wet touching her thighs

· REACTION: Nikki yells out

· RELEASE: The molestation stops

HORROR SITUATION: The lights turn on; they are the only ones in the room. Everyone thinks Derrick is up to something and is a part of whatever this is. The clock buzzes and the IV drip begins.

· REACTION: Wanda orders everyone to notice the sequence of things, take a headcount and notice where they are sitting like they are hands on the clock. She is twelve and there are eight chairs and seven people in the room.

· DENIAL: Derrick responds against it.

19. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Filing in like robots, the group files past the Funeral Director standing by the front entrance, past the closed casket and then to their seats. The only person able to move once they sit is the next eulogy reader who gets up walks to the front and begins reading the eulogy. The reader gets halfway through the read and we hear a clock buzzing.

20. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group has returned to the monster basement with no memory of the wake service at the funeral parlor. Wanda notices the IV drip has stopped and calls for everyone to answer up. Everyone answers up except Derrick and reader number two. Derrick does however add that reader number two is unconscious.

HORROR SITUATION: Everyone notices that they are in the same chairs as before and that the headcount remains the same and the one empty chair. Everyone is awake except the reader.

· ANXIETY: Everyone yells for the reader to wake up

· DENIAL: Derrick reminds them that all this strategy is a waste of time.

· SCARY: Malcolm notices that the IV drip is still dripping in the unconscious person

· ANGUISH: Michelle concentrates on the sleep person and the trace of casket she can see silhouetted behind the curtain. She begins to feel like this is all some way familiar.

· REACTION: Michelle explains what she’s feeling.

· DENIAL: Derrick cracks a joke, not in Kansas anymore Todo.

· SCARY: Derrick can hear a water hose running from the other room.

· REACTION: He finally speaks up. He tells everyone to be quiet and listen.

· ANGUISH: They put together that they heard the water hose running after they heard the chopping sounds.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes. Wanda shouts out the same orders from before. Everyone agrees except Derrick and the unconscious person.

21. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

The group is already seated, frozen, and unable to speak; the same reader is standing at the podium continuing with the eulogy. (He’s saying the exact same words as the first reader). The speaker wraps it up and then exits the room past the funeral director.

HORROR SITUATION: They hear the clock buzzer sound.

22. INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

The clock sounds and the group has returned to the monster basement. Wanda sounds off with present and so do the others. Derrick doesn’t sound off but tells everyone that the sleeping guy next to him is gone. Everyone notices that the person is missing and there are now two empty chairs. They notice no IV dripping. Most of all they notice that each person has moved one spot over clockwise position.

HORROR SITUATION: They begin to notice more but have no recollection of the funeral parlor but they do discover that the time on the clock has advanced by thirty minutes.

· ANGUISH: Malcolm doesn’t want to point it out but he noticed the time has a thirty minute difference.

· CREEPY: Chessley points out that the chopping has begun again from the outer room.

· DENIAL: Nikki wonders if maybe the first two people finished their treatment and were released.

· REACTION: Derrick demands to see who is in charge.

· SCARY: The lights turn off again and the room is dark. They can hear other noises from outside the room, a microwave, whispering, chewing sounds, a large walk-in freezer door closing.

· SCARY: The lights return.

· APPREHESION: Michelle thinks she can see someone standing behind the sheer curtain, just standing.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes. Everyone is sharp now. They all pay attention to the clock and how the IV drip begins.

· REACTION: They get a headcount of six persons, the time on the clock and that everyone is awake. The IV bag begins to drip.

23. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: They all file by the Funeral Director and paste the closed casket. Everyone takes a seat in the pews.

· APPREHENSION: After a few minutes Chessley rises up and walks to the front of the room and behind the podium.

· REACTION: No one in the audience reacts because they are unable to.

· DENIAL: No one expects anything out of the ordinary.

Chessley begins the first part of the eulogy, same words as the previous two readers. At about halfway through the read the clock buzzes.

24. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.

HORROR SITUATION: Everyone wakes up from the IV drip and notice that the clock has a time of thirty minutes later.

· REACTION: Wanda takes another headcount and has everyone sound off with present.

· ANGUISH: They all notice that Chessley didn’t sound off with present.

· APPREHENSION: They notice they are all in the same seats, haven’t been moved

· REACTION: Everyone wonders about the loss of time

· ANGUISH: Michelle points out the two phase cycle she believes is happening. The water hose, The clock, loss of time, waking up, one person still asleep, buzzing, loss of time again, waking up, one missing, chopping sounds.

· CREEPY: They all direct their attention to Chessley, who is still unconscious.

· REACTION: Derrick points out that he can hear the water hose running again.

· SCARY: They all yell for Chessley to wake up.

Michelle focuses more on the front of the room and the casket she can see behind the curtain and wants everyone to do the same. A few remark how it reminds them of a funeral they recently attended but couldn’t remember who had died. (Maybe it was a distant relative). They agree that it was more like a WAKE service.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.

25. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

The group has returned to the funeral parlor already seated and Chessley is finishing up his eulogy. He tries to give some kind of signal to the group or say something different but he can’t.

· MONSTER REVEAL: He is instructed by the Funeral Director that it’s time to exit.

· REACTION: Chessley walks the isle past the group and the Funeral director and exits the room.

26. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.

HORROR SITUATION: After the accountability check they notice that Chessley is no longer with them and that they have all moved their position and there are now three empty chairs.

· REACTION: They immediately look toward where Chessley was sitting. Michelle’s eyes are full of tears. She is in the position where Chessley was. But the order has seemed at random so it’s hard to determine who will be next.

· DENIAL: They call out Chessley’s name hoping he is still in the building.

· RELEASE: Malcolm suggests that maybe there is a good safety reason as to why they are strapped into the chairs, like for their own good.

· TERROR: They can hear the chopping and what also sounds like the buzzing of a saw from the outer room.

· DENIAL: Michelle prays that the chopping isn’t what she thinks it is.

· ANGUISH: Derrick points out that this might be everyone’s fate in the end.

· CREEPY: Nikki sounds off about how her school-girl pleated skirt has been pulled up almost over her hips.

· DENIAL: Malcolm suggests that maybe it happened during the move because he can see that his right shoe lace has become untied.

· REACTION: Nikki remarks how the buttons on her blouse are partially unbuttoned.

· ANGUISH: Michelle points out what seems to be a continuous dream she’s having about a Wake service and she’s sure everyone is there with her.

· REACTION: Nikki agrees and adds how she remembers Chessley getting up and how she tried to reach out to him.

· SCARY: Malcolm asks who they think the next person will be.

· REACTION: They all look toward Derrick who is sitting next to where Chessley was sitting.

HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.

· REACTION: Wanda orders everyone to remember something from the loss time and suggests maybe the Wake service is the best idea so far.

27. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

The group files past the Funeral Director and the closed casket before taking their seats in the pews.

HORROR SITUATION: Michelle stands and walks over to the podium in the front of the room.

· REACTION: Michelle begins to speak.

28. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The typical two phase torture cycle has been interrupted from its normal routine.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster notices that Michelle is not fully unconscious but is out of it enough to not be a threat.

29. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Michelle is slurring her words. Malcolm and Derrick are present sitting in the pews but are collapsed and unconscious. Michelle’s speech is abruptly interrupted. She collapses and falls to the floor. Everyone else is in shock.

30. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster notices that Michelle isn’t fully unconscious. The works of the Monster and the assistant are witnessed by Derrick and Malcolm as the Monster inspects the condition of Michelle.

· REACTION: She is moving her head slightly and breathing irregularly.

· RELEASE: Derrick and Malcolm secretly acknowledge each other.

· REALEASE: The Monster Assistant KIMWAKAZZI, has not distributed the correct IV dosage to the speaker, Michelle, as well as two other group members.

· RELEASE: DERRICK and MALCOLM are fully awake and playing possum. NIKKI and WANDA are fully unconscious.

· RELEASE: Other than Michelle being somewhat conscious, the MONSTER and Kimwakazzi are unaware of the mishap until later when it’s time to bring the whole group back. This is the first instance where anyone from the group will have proof that what they are experiencing is not part of the aftercare cancer treatment. The two men continue to play possum.

· SUSPENSE: The Monster checks to make sure each group member is still unconscious. He checks Wanda. The Monster checks to make sure that Michelle, who is not totally unconscious, is too out of it to notice. The Monster checks Nikki and finds that she is totally unconscious.

· SCARY: Malcolm and Derrick, who are totally awake manage to see everything through tightly squinted eyes.

· CREEPY: Kimwakazzi drops to his knees in front of NIKKI’s chair, while she is unconscious, and begins to lick and suck on her thighs. Malcolm and Derrick can see that his tongue is grotesquely deformed and are freaked out but unable to show it.

· REACTION: The Monster notices this and attacks Kimwakazzi for his behavior.

· SUSPENCE: The Monster slowly approaches Derrick.

· SURPRISE: Suddenly the lights turn out. Everything has gone black, a surprise to the Monster, Kimwakazzi, Derrick and Malcolm.

· SUSPENCE: When the lights come back on the Monster has bent over Derrick and is now face to face with him.

· FEAR: The Monster can feel Derrick’s essence and wants to see if he will flinch.

· REACTION: Derrick’s eyes are totally shut now but he can feel the Monster’s breath on his face. Derrick manages to control the fear he feels. Derrick is holding his own.

· ANGUISH: Malcolm is praying the Monster doesn’t come to him next.

· CREEPY: Malcolm, while able to control his response, is unable to control his bladder as he begins to urinate himself.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster stands over Malcolm and is about to bend over to inspect him when the buzzer sounds.

The clock buzzes and the remainder of the group returns from the FUNERAL PARLOR to the Monster basement. The Monster and Kimwakazzi clear the room just in time.

31. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick agree not to mention what they witnessed, especially to Nikki.

· APPRENHESION: They all return with memories of the Wake and with questions.

· REACTION: Everyone looks toward Michelle who has not answered up.

· ANGUISH: They have to admit that Michelle is next.

· SHOCK: Michelle is partially awake and can talk.

· CREEPY: Everyone can see that Malcolm has peed himself.

· REACTION: They ask what happened to him.

· DENIAL: Malcolm stands fast with Derrick.

· CREEPY: Nikki asks why her blouse is unbuttoned all the way now and exposing her cleavage.

· REACTION: Malcolm can’t help but explain everything he saw and asks Derrick to back him up.

· DENIAL: They don’t believe him and most of all they don’t believe the Monster is who Malcolm claims it is. Impossible.

· REACTION: Derrick fesses up and backs up Malcolm.

· REACTION: Wanda comes up with a plan using Nikki as bait.

· DENIAL: Nikki doesn’t like the idea.

· RELEASE: They suggest that it could save Michelle’s life.

· FEAR: They can hear the water hose running and water draining again.

· ANGUISH: Nikki agrees and hikes her skirt up over her hips and pulls her blouse open more.

· RELEASE: Malcolm and Derrick realize that they have built up a tolerance to the IV dosage because of past drug addictions. They both hope they remain conscious for the next round and agree to play possum again.

The clock buzzer sounds.

32. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.

The group, back in the pews, Michelle is continuing with her eulogy. Everyone is focused on Michelle. Malcolm and Derrick appear to be a little light headed and able to move their head to nod at each other.

CUT TO.

33. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick are fully conscious and able to watch what actually goes on during the second phase of the Wake service.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster and the assistant are busy moving bodies and IV equipment and for the first time we see that their blood is being suctioned by another IV attached to their necks.

· RELEASE: Derrick and Malcolm discover the real reason they are being held captive. They put it together because they know who the Monster is. The Monster and assistant continue to reposition the group into their new chairs.

· SCARY: When the monster gets to Michelle he snatches her and flings her to the floor. Supposedly dead by now.

· REACTION: Derrick and Malcolm, still playing possum, witness her body slam to the floor.

· CREEPY: They can see Kimwakazzi fondling Nikki’s helpless body.

· SUSPENCE: The Monster unstraps and picks up Malcolm and moves him. (AT THE SAME TIME) The Monster is distracted by the movement of Michelle’s body on the floor. She is trying to crawl away. He doesn’t strap Malcolm all the way.

· SUSPENSE: The Monster assistant releases and picks up Derrick and moves him to his new position.

· CREEPY: He’s distracted again by Nikki’s exposed body and forgets to strap Derrick in tightly.

· CREEPY: The monster assistant forgetting to completely strap Derrick in returns to Nikki’s chair.

· REACTION: The monster notices what Kimwakazzi is doing to Nikki. Attacks him.

· REACTION: The monster picks him up and body slams him to across the room.

· MONSTER REVEAL: Again the Monster hears Michelle moaning and moving and is surprised that she isn’t dead. He picks her up and sinks his fangs into her neck. He drains whatever blood she has left in her leaving her dead and partially decapitated. He leaves the room.

· CREEPY: Kimwakazzi, can’t take his eyes off of Nikki..

· MONSTER REVEAL: Kimwakazzi, still googling at Nikki, drags Michelle’s lifeless body to the chopping room.

HORROR SITUATION: Once the Monster and Kimwakazzi leave the chair room, Derrick wants to make a run for it. Malcolm shakes his head no in disagreement to afraid to speek.

CUT TO:

34. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Michelle glances over to Derrick, Malcolm, Wanda and Nikki and mouths the words goodbye. Michelle begins her long walk toward the exit and past the Funeral Director but she collapses midway and won’t get up. The Funeral Director walks to her and helps her to her feet and continues to assist her out the exit.

35. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.

HORROR SITUATION: The group returns and notices that Michelle is no longer with them. They notice the trail of blood.

· DENIAL: They feel like the plan to distract the monster didn’t work.

· Reaction: Niki feels like she sacrificed her body for nothing.

· RELEASE: Malcolm and Derrick explain what happened and that they are only partially strapped in and able to escape.

· MONSTER REVEAL: They also explain that the monster is a popular Det. With the ATLANTA police department who is on TV every week. He’s the vampire/human liaison officer. It’s his job to keep the peace between Humans and Vampires.

HORROR SITUATION: The group can hear chopping of what they are now sure are body parts.

· REACTION: Wanda, what are you guys waiting for let’s get out of here.

· DENIAL: Derrick suggests that only one person escape and goes for help. Too many escaping will get them all killed.

· APPREHENSION: Malcolm tries to release Niki while Derrick tries to release Wanda.

· REACTION: It fails. The monster and his assistant return to the room after hearing the commotion.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

FIGHT TO THE DEATH:

36. INT. ATLANTA POLICE DEPARTMENT VAMPIRE/HUMAN HOMICIDE VICTIMS UNIT – NIGHT

DETECTIVE LEO RILEY is welcomed to the unit by CAPTAIN MARSHAL. He directs Det. Riley to stop by for an unannounced visit to Det. Reineer Davenport who hasn’t shown up for work in over four days and reminds him that Reineer’s brother has been missing.

37. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Malcolm and Derrick have escaped and are on the run. They were unable to free Nikki and Wanda because they thought they heard the Monster and Kimwakazzi returning to the chair room.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick duck behind the black curtain. They see a casket and other scary objects. They see someone chained to the floor with a black hood over her face.

· REACTION: Derrick wants to keep running but Malcolm wants to help her.

· SUSPENSE: Malcolm snatches the hood from her head. She looks to be a fierce vampire.

· SCARY: She glares her fangs and hisses at him causing her chains to rattle.

HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the commotion from behind the curtain and orders his assistant to check it out.

· SCARY: The assistant leaps behind the curtain and growls and glares his fangs hoping to catch the two escapees. He searches but they are gone.

HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick make their way through the basement noticing things along the way.

· CREEPY: They notice Michelle’s clothing and some mutilated body parts. They come across what appears to be a covered cage.

· DENIAL: They hope to find a survivor in the cage. Derrick insists they find a way out.

· SUSPENCE: Malcolm uncovers the cage.

· SCARY: A vicious vampire dog type leaps at him from behind the cage doors.

· REACTION: Derrick, Can we go now Good Samaritan?

· RELEASE: They find a partially open basement window.

· REACTION: They realize the window is too high to reach. They play rock paper scissors to see who will lift who through the window. They play a few rounds, Derrick cheats at it. Malcolm wins.

· DENIAL: Derrick can’t lift Malcolm’s overweight body.

· DENIAL: Malcolm couldn’t fit through window anyway.

· REACTION: Malcolm lifts Derrick through the window.

HORROR SITUATION: From outside the window, Derrick turns to restate his promise to go for help just as the monster snaps Malcolm’s neck all the way around.

· REACTION: Derrick hides from the Monster’s view.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The monster stands there to look for Derrick.

HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the doorbell ring.

· REACTION: The monster drags Malcolm’s body back to the chair room and places Malcolm’s dead body back into an empty chair.

· REACTION: Nikki and Wanda both yell and scream for help.

HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the doorbell again.

· REACTION: The monster calls for his assistant, no answer.

· DENIAL: The assistant is hiding from the monster.

HORROR SITUATION: The doorbell rings again nonstop.

38. EXT. MONSTER HOUSE – NIGHT

Det. Riley is banging and ringing at the door. Derrick is watching from the side bushes but ready to make a run for it. He has no intentions on helping. After seeing Malcolm killed he figures everyone else is also dead. Derrick watches as Det. Riley enters the house.

· REACTION: Derrick wants to get close enough to hear the conversation.

· DENIAL: Derrick thinks that Det. Riley will save the day.

39. INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR — NIGHT

Det. Riley introduces himself to Det. Davenport and mentions that the Cpt. Told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner relocated from the DEKALB POLICE DEPARTMENT.

HORROR SITUATION: Det. Riley can hear cries for help coming from the basement but doesn’t let on that he can hear them.

· FEAR: The Monster realizes that he has left the basement door open.

· DENIAL: Det. Riley tries to say goodbye so Det. Davenport can get back to whatever he was doing.

· ANGUISH: The Monster believes Det. Riley is onto him.

· SCARY: The front door fly’s open with a loud slam against the wall but there is no gust of wind. Det. Riley reacts to this. He’s caught off guard. He tries to maintain his fear. That was no wind gust.

· REACTION: The Monster shows Det. Riley to the door.

· RELEASE: Det. Riley turns toward the screen door to leave. He’s relieved.

HORROR SITUATION:

· MONSTER REVEAL: Det. Davenport places his left hand on the back of Det. Riley’s upper back/lower neck area as if to pat him on the back, like a good by gesture. But with his right hand he grabs the open Oak Wood door.

·With his left hand Det. Davenport pins Det. Riley’s head to the door-frame and begins slamming the Oak Wood Door onto Det. Riley’s head over and over again. Skull and brain grey matter splatters everywhere including onto Det. Davenport’s face.

· SCARY: Det. Davenport lifts Det. Riley’s dead body over his shoulder, locks the front door and carries him to the basement.

40. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The Monster carries Det. Riley’s body to the basement.

HORROR SITUATION:

He drops Det. Riley’s dead body onto the empty chair between NIKKI and WANDA.

· REACTION: Nikki and Wanda become frantic, Nikki begs for her life to be spared.

41. EXT THE STREET-NIGHT

Derrick, who witnessed the murder of Det. Riley takes off running down the street and has no plans to look back let alone help.

42. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster snatches Wanda from her chair, breaking through the straps and all.

· REACTION: In true Marine fashion.

· SHOCK: She battles it out.

· DENIAL: She refuses to let the Monster make her beg or show any weakness.

· REACTION: The monster sinks his teeth into her neck, drains her of her blood and tosses her body to the floor.

43. INT DET RILEY’S CAR– NIGHT

Derrick has a second thought and turns around. He runs back the police car. Derrick makes a radio call to the police station, Officer Down and he gives them the address. He grabs the shotgun filled with shotgun shells filled with UV serum.

44. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – NIGHT

Derrick makes his way with the shotgun back through the basement window.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster snatches Nikki from behind the chair and throws her into an empty chair and is going to kill her.

· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster wants to have a little fun with Nikki.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster picks Wanda’s dead body from the floor and treats her like she’s a ventriloquist dummy. He torments Nikki.

· FEAR: The Monster flings Wanda’s body onto the floor. Nikki is hysterical now. She can’t control her fear. She’s struggling in the chair. Her tears wont’ stop crying.

· REACTION: Nikki begs the monster not to kill her and she will do anything he wants, just don’t kill me.

· ANGUISH: She looks at the monster assistant and begs for his help.

· RELEASE: Nikki thinks of a way out.

· REACTION: The Monster agrees to the terms. Nikki can go back under, one more time at the wake service.

45. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Nikki is standing at the podium. All five members of the main group are present to hear her departing eulogy.

46. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The Monster thinks he hears something and sends Kimwakazzi to investigate. Kazzi doesn’t go; instead he hides and only pretends to leave the room.

47. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: Nikki can hear a squeaking noise behind her. She turns to look.

· SCARY: While Nikki is reading her speech everyone in attendees stand at the same time as if pulled up all at once. She continues as they all point at the casket, again at the same time.

· SCARY: The casket opens.

· SHOCK: Nikki looks and it’s her body in the casket.

48. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster grabs an unconscious Nikki from her chair and lifts her high over his head. He prepares his free hand, claws drawing out, to snatch Nikki’s heart from her chest.

· SURPRISE: The Monster assistant grabs the Monster’s hand to stop him.

· SHOCK: The Monster can’t believe he’s been betrayed by his assistant.

· MONSTER REVEAL: He flings Nikki to the floor and kills his assistant. The Monster looks around.

· DENIAL: The Monster can’t believe how things have turned out.

HORROR SITUATION: The Monster picks Nikki up to kill her.

· SURPRISE: Derrick is behind the Monster. “Hey”

· SHOCK: The Monster turns toward Derrick.

· REACTION: Derrick fires the shotgun.

· ANGUISH: it’s too late. The Monster is holding Niki’s heart in his hand as he bursts into amber flames

· ANGUISH: Derrick takes a look around and can’t believe he survived.

49. INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Derrick is ordered to drop the gun by the waiting police and is swiftly removed from the house. They place Derrick in handcuffs, take him to a police car and begin a search of the house.

50. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-NIGHT

The police discover the torture that has gone on in the house, the chained female vampire and discover the closed casket. They begin to open the casket…

CUT TO:

THREE MONTHS EARLIER:

A lone Catholic priest sits on a parkbench at sunrise. A pleading voice can be heard over a speaker cellphone.

End Outline.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

Scary-As-Hell Scene

I learned how to use the horror map more effectively after Ive already created a scene and how to add more depth.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

The group are in the pews. Everyone is hoping their not the next speaker. Derrick and Malcolm are somewhat conscious this time while everyone else, except for Michelle who is also somewhat conscious, is in the Funeral Parlor consciousness.

Michelle gets up and walks to the front of the room to read her eulogy.

MICHELLE

Good, evening, I’d like to say a few kind words about the dearly departed.

(A look of confusion on her face)

Although I only knew the deceased but a short time I came to admire…

CUT TO:

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The Monster basement is a dungeon surrounding an interior room that closely resembles a white pristine hygienically clean surgery room. The walls are positioned in a half-moon shape. There are seven chairs to begin with. One chair is removed at the end of each complete two phase torture cycle.

The typical two phase torture cycle has been interrupted from it’s normal routine. The Monster Assistant KIMWAKAZZI, has not distributed the correct LSD dosage to the speaker as well as two other group members. Two of them DERRICK and MALCOLM are fully awake and playing possum but MICHELLE, the speaker is only partially aware. NIKKI and WANDA are fully unconscious.

The MONSTER and Kimwakazzi are unaware of the mishap until later when it’s time to bring the whole group back. This is the first instance where anyone from the group will have proof that what they are experiencing is not part of the aftercare cancer treatment. The two men continue to play possum. The Monster checks to make sure each group member is still unconscious. He checks Wanda. The Monster checks to make sure that Michelle, who is not totally unconscious, is too out of it to notice. The Monster checks Nikki and finds that she is totally unconscious. Malcolm and Derrick, who are totally awake manage to see everything through tightly squinted eyes. Kimwakazzi drops to his knees in front of NIKKI’s chair, while she is unconscious, and begins to lick and suck on her thighs. Malcolm and Derrick can see that his tongue is grotesquely deformed and are freaked out but unable to show it. The Monster notices this and attacks Kimwakazzi for his behavior. The Monster slowly approaches Derrick. Suddenly the lights turn out. Everything has gone black, a surprise to the Monster, Kimwakazzi, Derrick and Malcolm. When the lights come back on the Monster has bent over Derrick and is now face to face with him. The Monster can feel Derrick’s essence and wants to see if he will flinch. Derrick’s eyes are totally shut now but he can feel the Monster’s breath on his face. Derrick manages to control the fear he feels. Derrick is holding his own. Malcolm is praying the Monster doesn’t come to him next. Malcolm, while able to control his response, is unable to control his bladder as he begins to urinate himself. The Monster stands over Malcolm and is about to bend over to inspect him when the buzzer sounds.

MONSTER

Kazzi, let’s go!

The clock buzzes and the remainder of the group return from the FUNERAL PARLOR to the Monster basement. The Monster and Kimwakazzi clear the room just in time.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

Scares Releases and Creepy moments

I learned how to add highlights to a scene in order to enhance the moment and starting with a outline helps to organize the thoughts.

Horror situation: Det. Riley and Det. Davenport are standing in the front door foyer. They both hear screams for help from the basement.

Reaction: Det. Riley acts like he hears nothing. Det. Davenport realizes he left the basement sound proof door open during his haste.

Denial: Det. Riley ignores what he hears and doesn’t want to believe Det. Davenport heard the screams.

Scary: The front door suddenly fly’s open and not by the wind.

Release: Det. Riley thinks he is going to just walk out the door since it’s open.

Creepy: Det. Davenport/Monster steps closer to Det. Riley and takes one big sniff of him under his neck in an upward motion.

INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR-NIGHT

DET. LEO RILEY introduces himself to DET. REINEER DAVENPORT/MONSTER and mentions that CPT. BINGHAM told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner going forward concerning the recent vampire killings and that he’s just relocated from the DEKALB COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT. They are talking through the scree door.

DET. RILEY

I might need some ice for my hand. Just kidding. I’m Det. Leo Riley just transferred in from DCPD. We were supposed to meet and greet a couple hours ago but I hear you’ve been out for a minute on account of your brother’s gone missing.

DET. DAVENPORT

Hmm. Real sorry I missed that meeting… but I see you’re all caught up.

DET. RILEY

You, a, mind if I come in? I promised the CO I’d pop in, you know, introduce myself. The CPT speaks very highly of you and of course I’m a fan of your talk show.

DET. DAVENPORT

Yeah, not really. I’m pretty busy at the moment.

Det. Davenport begins to close the door but Det. Riley has opened the screen door and placed his foot partially inside. They both look down and Det. Riley’s foot.

DET. DAVENPORT

Right…

Det. Riley steps in and closes the large Oak Wood door but leaves it somewhat ajar.

INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR FOYER-NIGHT

DET. RILEY

I mean I did tell him I’d check on you. You look taller on TV. I’m sure you hear that a lot.

DET. DAVENPORT

No. Not really.

DET. RILEY

This is a very nice home. You live hear alone do ya? Hmm… anyway, I guess the CPT has tried calling you and since you didn’t pick up he sent me.

DET. DAVENPORT

How thoughtful of him.

They both hear screams for help coming from the basement. Det. Riley nor Det. Davenport flinch at the screaming. Det. Riley ignores it and never says a word.

DET. RILEY

So… I’ll just tell the CPT you’ll be returning next week then.

The front door fly’s open with a loud slam against the wall but there is no gust of wind. Det. Riley reacts to this. He’s caught off guard. He tries to maintain his fear. That was no wind gust.

DET. RILEY

Woe. Some wind we’re having huh?

Det. Davenport/Monster steps closer to Det. Riley and takes a big loud sniff of him from the base of his neck to the top of his neck in one upward motion.

DET. RILEY

Ah. Some personal space there buddy.

DET. DAVENPORT

Yes, well let me show you the door.

Det. Riley turns toward the screen door to leave. He’s relieved. Det. Davenport places his left hand on the back of Det. Riley’s upper back/lower neck area as if to pat him on the back, like a good by gesture. But with his right hand he grabs the open Oak Wood door.

With his left hand Det. Davenport pins Det. Riley’s head to the door-frame and begins slamming the Oak Wood Door onto Det. Riley’s head over and over again. Skull and brain grey matter splatters everywhere including onto Det. Davenport’s face.

DET. DAVENPORT

You can tell CPT. Bingham I said I need “some personal space there buddy.”

Det. Davenport lifts Det. Riley’s dead body over his shoulder, locks the front door and carries him to the basement. He drops Det. Riley’s dead body onto the empty chair between NIKKI and WANDA.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

Scares Releases and Creepy moments

I learned how to add highlights to a scene in order to enhance the moment and starting with a outline helps to organize the thoughts.

Horror situation: Det. Riley and Det. Davenport are standing in the front door foyer. They both hear screams for help from the basement.

Reaction: Det. Riley acts like he hears nothing. Det. Davenport realizes he left the basement sound proof door open during his haste.

Denial: Det. Riley ignores what he hears and doesn’t want to believe Det. Davenport heard the screams.

Scary: The front door suddenly fly’s open and not by the wind.

Release: Det. Riley thinks he is going to just walk out the door since it’s open.

Creepy: Det. Davenport/Monster steps closer to Det. Riley and takes one big sniff of him under his neck in an upward motion.

INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR-NIGHT

DET. LEO RILEY introduces himself to DET. REINEER DAVENPORT/MONSTER and mentions that CPT. BINGHAM told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner going forward concerning the recent vampire killings and that he’s just relocated from the DEKALB COUNTY POLICE DEPARTMENT. They are talking through the scree door.

DET. RILEY

I might need some ice for my hand. Just kidding. I’m Det. Leo Riley just transferred in from DCPD. We were supposed to meet and greet a couple hours ago but I hear you’ve been out for a minute on account of your brother’s gone missing.

DET. DAVENPORT

Hmm. Real sorry I missed that meeting… but I see you’re all caught up.

DET. RILEY

You, a, mind if I come in? I promised the CO I’d pop in, you know, introduce myself. The CPT speaks very highly of you and of course I’m a fan of your talk show.

DET. DAVENPORT

Yeah, not really. I’m pretty busy at the moment.

Det. Davenport begins to close the door but Det. Riley has opened the screen door and placed his foot partially inside. They both look down and Det. Riley’s foot.

DET. DAVENPORT

Right…

Det. Riley steps in and closes the large Oak Wood door but leaves it somewhat ajar.

INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR FOYER-NIGHT

DET. RILEY

I mean I did tell him I’d check on you. You look taller on TV. I’m sure you hear that a lot.

DET. DAVENPORT

No. Not really.

DET. RILEY

This is a very nice home. You live hear alone do ya? Hmm… anyway, I guess the CPT has tried calling you and since you didn’t pick up he sent me.

DET. DAVENPORT

How thoughtful of him.

They both hear screams for help coming from the basement. Det. Riley nor Det. Davenport flinch at the screaming. Det. Riley ignores it and never says a word.

DET. RILEY

So… I’ll just tell the CPT you’ll be returning next week then.

The front door fly’s open with a loud slam against the wall but there is no gust of wind. Det. Riley reacts to this. He’s caught off guard. He tries to maintain his fear. That was no wind gust.

DET. RILEY

Woe. Some wind we’re having huh?

Det. Davenport/Monster steps closer to Det. Riley and takes a big loud sniff of him from the base of his neck to the top of his neck in one upward motion.

DET. RILEY

Ah. Some personal space there buddy.

DET. DAVENPORT

Yes, well let me show you the door.

Det. Riley turns toward the screen door to leave. He’s relieved. Det. Davenport places his left hand on the back of Det. Riley’s upper back/lower neck area as if to pat him on the back, like a good by gesture. But with his right hand he grabs the open Oak Wood door.

With his left hand Det. Davenport pins Det. Riley’s head to the door-frame and begins slamming the Oak Wood Door onto Det. Riley’s head over and over again. Skull and brain grey matter splatters everywhere including onto Det. Davenport’s face.

DET. DAVENPORT

You can tell CPT. Bingham I said I need “some personal space there buddy.”

Det. Davenport lifts Det. Riley’s dead body over his shoulder, locks the front door and carries him to the basement. He drops Det. Riley’s dead body onto the empty chair between NIKKI and WANDA.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott

Level 3 horror emotions

I learned that I’m beginning to understand the escalation of horror. Watching films now, I can tell when it’s a horror situation a reaction or just connecting with the characters or if there is different level of horror in the scene. I learned that level 3 is level 3 for a reason and that it’s usually at the end for that reason.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-NIGHT

KIMWAKAZZI, the Monster assistant stands by in the corner walking in small circles, like a scolded child in a “time out”. He’s confused. The Monster turns his attention toward NIKKI. He bends over her chair and for the first time Nikki sees him face to face. She is terrified. Kimwakazzi is emotional over how sad Nikki is feeling after she watched Wanda get mauled to death by the Monster.

NIKKI

Wanda, Wanda, I’m so sorry. Why? Why are you doing this to us. She was a donor, I’m a donor, we were all donors.

MONSTER

Now, what to do about my number one fan?

The Monster grabs the dead WANDA, from the floor by her neck and shoves her face into NIKKI’S face and uses her as a puppet.

MONSTER

(imitating Wanda’s voice) Hey girlfriend. Wish you the best with your music career. By the way, your guitar, the one signed by Curt Kobain it got ranned over, oops

(The monster turns Wanda’s face toward him) was I supposed to mention that. (turns her back to Nikki) Sorry, girl.

The Monster flings Wanda’s body onto the floor. Nikki is hysterical now. She can’t control her fear. She’s struggling in the chair. He tears wont’ stop crying.

NIKKI

Please, please, I’m begging you, please don’t kill me, I don’t want to die like this.

The Monster grabs Nikki and lifts her up to him.

NIKKI

Not like this, please. If you have to kill me then please turn me. I don’t want to die.

MONSTER

You’re trying to bargain with me little girl?

(he thinks it over)

Tell you what…

Nikki interrupts him…

NIKKI

Who is in the coffin… in the funeral parlor who is in the coffin. I have to know. Put me back in. Let me leave like the rest of them. I’ll never say a word, cross my heart…

MONSTER

And hope to die?

NIKKI

Look, the buzzer is about to sound.

The Monster’s grip has eased a bit. Nikki sits back in the chair and makes sure her IV is still connected.

NIKKI

Okay, I’ll just go back, say my little speech and then walk out. You’ll never have to see me again. After all I’m the last one. You can trust me.

The Monster looks behind at the clock as it ticks down and then over to Kazzi standing in the corner. The Monster gives a “why the hell not” shrug/look. The buzzer sounds. The Monster checks the IV in her arm and the blood draining IV connected to her neck.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT

Everyone is seated from the very first reading except this time Nikki is reading. DERRICK, MICHELLE, MALCOLM, WANDA, CHESSLEY and a few others.

NIKKI

Good, evening, I’d like to say a few kind words about the dearly departed.

(A look of confusion on her face)

Although I only knew the deceased but a short time I came to admire…

Nikki can hear a squeaking sound directly behind her. Seeing everyone from the group brings tears to her eyes but she’s also happy because she believes she’s about to walk out of there alive.

NIKKI

And that’s how I will always remember my friend, generous, thoughtful, helpful, one hell of a guy and what a great sense of humor, huh. Thank you, good night.

Everyone in the audience immediately stands and points at the same time toward the now open coffin.

Nikki turns to look. She sees herself laying in the coffin. She yells out.

NIKKI

No! No! It can’t be…

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-NIGHT

The Monster thinks he hears something or someone in an Outer room. He walks to the opening to listen more closely. The Monster orders Kazzi to go find out what it is. Kazzi hesitates and then prepares to head out. He sort of keeps one good eye on Nikki as he walks. The Monster reaches down and picks up Nikki, still unconscious, by her neck. Both IV’s pop off as she is snatched from the chair. The Monster reaches up with with his right hand to plunge into her chest and remove her heart. Kazzi, secretly standing by recognizes this move and jumps in. Kazzi catches the Monster’s arm preventing him from killing Nikki. The Monster tosses Nikki back into the chair and turns his attention toward Kazzi.

MONSTER

Kazzi? What are you doing? How dare you.

The Monster reaches over and grabs Kazzi and tears his head clean from his shoulders. He stands over Kazzi heartbroken for what he has done. Outraged, the Monster picks Nikki up from the chair again to rip her heart out.

Derrick shows up with the shotgun and Ultra Violet shells loaded in the gun.

DERRICK

Hey Motherfucker, Remember me?

The Monster turns to Derrick and looks at the shotgun. He takes the gamble. Derrick can’t help but feel sorry for Nikki who again is unaware that she is being tortured.

DERRICK

Hey, you don’t need to do this, you’re famous, you can get away with this, please don’t kill her, just let us both walk outta here.

The Monster reaches for Nikki’s chest. Derrick pulls the trigger.

Derrick is too late. The Monster clutches Nikki’s heart in his hand as he bursts into fiery embers. Nikki’s body slumps lifeless to the floor.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott

Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene.

I learned that there may be fear, dread and suspense in parts of the story where you don’t expect. In a few of my act 2 scenes there are some obvious level 2 horror emotions but i wanted to dig deeper and find a level 2 emotion where I thought there wasn’t.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The Monster basement is a dungeon surrounding an interior room that closely resembles a white pristine hygienically clean surgery room. The walls are positioned in a half-moon shape. There are seven chairs to begin with. One chair is removed at the end of each complete two phase torture cycle.

CUT TO:

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT

The typical two phase torture cycle has been interrupted from it’s normal routine. The Monster Assistant KIMWAKAZZI, has not distributed the correct LSD dosage to the speaker as well as two other group members. Two of them DERRICK and MALCOLM are fully awake but MICHELLE, the speaker is only partially aware.

The MONSTER and Kimwakazzi are unaware of the mishap until it’s time to bring the whole group back. This is the first instance where anyone from the group has proof that this is not part of the aftercare cancer treatment. The two continue to play possum. The Monster checks to make sure each group member is still unconscious. He checks Wanda, Michelle, who is too out of it to notice, Nikki. They witness Kimwakazzi molesting Nikki’s body while she is unconscious. The Monster attacks Kimwakazzi for his behavior. The Monster slowly approaches Derrick. He bends over Derricks chair to see if he will flinch. Derrick is holding his own. Malcolm is praying he’s not next. The Monster gets as close to Derrick’s face as possible but no response.

The clock buzzes and the remainder of the group return from the FUNERAL PARLOR to the Monster basement. The Monster and Kimwakazzi clear the room just in time.

WANDA, takes a headcount but notices that Michelle, instead of being asleep is somewhat conscious.

WANDA

Michelle, you’re awake?

MICHELLE

Yes, but I think I’m the speaker.

Derrick and Malcolm speak at the same time, yes you’re definitely the speaker this time.

WANDA

I don’t get it, why are you still awake. Maybe this is part of the treatment and the others were released.

MICHELLE

I don’t know?

Malcolm begins to speak but Derrick shushes him.

NIKKI notices her clothes are rumpled on her body.

NIKKI

Hey, um, why is my skirt hiked up over my hips. What’s going on you guys? This is the second time it’s happened.

Again, Malcolm begins to speak and again Derrick shushes him.

WANDA

Wait a minute, you two know what’s up! Fess up!

MALCOLM

We were a wake the whole time! And for some reason the drug didn’t work on us.

NIKKI

Us, who is us. Tell me why do I feel like I’ve been… been.

MALCOLM

Because you have been… been… I don’t know how to tell you guys but we are no longer in the aftercare treatment program.

Malcolm tells them the whole story.

MALCOLM

And if you don’t believe me ask Derrick. We both watched the whole thing.

NIKKI

Derrick is this true? Was I sexually assaulted.

MICHELLE

Derrick, Just tell us what you know. Or are you part of this?

WANDA

What is your major malfunction? I know you, your type, looking out for number one, hell you didn’t even want to tell us your name. So what gives?

DERRICK

Okay! Yes! We saw it all. Yes the monster, the ugly one, I think he’s the assistant, was all over you. But the way he was checking you out, it’s like he really has feelings for you. I know, it’s fucking sick but…

MALCOLM

Hey, I think he’s right. He’s almost over protective or something, except for the sexing part. He was genuinely heartbroken when the Monster attacked him about you.

DERRICK

He fucking cowered like a scolded puppy.

Wanda’s strategic brain goes to work.

WANDA

Woe… That’s a weakness. I think we can use that.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene

I learned how to add Anticipation, Anxiety, Surprise and Shock to the first act and that these are emotions. These emotions are powerful tools and if I focus on them they help to add more depth to my story and the characters and the scene.

EXT. PEACHTREE STREET – NIGHT

Derrick steps off the Marta bus and rushes the 1600

Peachtree Street Plaza. He is looking forward to his

spa/aftercare treatment. He glances through the entrance

door as he reaches for the door handle. He notices a

woman carrying a guitar case enter into the same elevator

he needs to catch.

INT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT

Derrick presses the button for floor number ten. He

checks his cell phone and attempts to respond to an

earlier text from his boss. “yes I am at treatment

center”. He wants to add; “NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE”

but he deletes that part and sends.

The elevator comes to a stop on floor six. It’s never

stopped before floor ten before.

The doors open. Derrick has no choice but to exit after

pressing the door close button a few times.

Derrick tries to hold the door open with his arm. The

elevator doors slam shut despite his attempts almost

catching his arm. He notices a tenth floor detour sign

pointing toward a crossing bridge. The bridge is dark,

unlit.

DERRICK CALLS OUT.

DERRICK

Hey! Is anyone there. I need to go

to the tenth floor, am I supposed

to follow this sign.

He thinks he sees someone walking past the bridge on the

detour side but they don’t respond.

INT. BRIDGE — NIGHT

The lights on the bridge turn on inviting Derrick to

cross. Derrick begins to cross. As Derrick walks across

the bridge he looks behind him. The lights behind him are

shutting off with a “schlunk” as quickly as he steps.

(CONTINUED)

DERRICK

Fuck me!

(He feels relieved

when he finally

reaches the elevator

at the end of the

bridge)

EXT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT

Derrick presses the up button on the elevator panel. The

doors open immediately. Derrick jumps on, relieved even

more. Just as the doors to the monster elevator close,

Derrick notices the elevator across the bridge finally

open.

DERRICK

You mother fucker…

Derrick presses the button for floor ten. The elevator

begins to rise. Derrick watches as the each floor lights

up on the panel. Derrick leans back on the wall,

relieved.

The elevator stops on floor eight. Derrick thinks someone

is getting on the elevator and makes room. The doors

never open. Instead, the elevator swings upward and then

plummets downward.

Derrick panics and begins pressing all the floor buttons.

He looks for and pulls the emergency stop button. The

button comes off in his hand.

DERRICK

Shit! Shit! Shit!

The elevator stops abruptly. Derrick takes a breath and

notices the letter G lit up on the panel. He reaches for

the button marked floor ten and presses. Nothing happens.

The doors opens. He notices a light shining down from the

ceiling directly in front of the elevator but nowhere

else. He can see the daylight at what looks like the end

of the garage. The lights on the elevator go dark.

Derrick reaches for his cell phone as he steps off. The

doors shut behind him. He cringes from the sound. He

turns on the cellphone flashlight he looks left and can

see parked cars. He looks right and sees the same.

Derrick takes two steps to his left and trips and falls

over something. His cellphone slides away from him and

out of reach in the darkness. He feels around for his

cellphone but discovers what has tripped him.

CONTINUED:

(CONTINUED)

2.

It’s a guitar case. He remembers back to the woman he saw

carrying a guitar case earlier.

DERRICK

Hello? Hello? Miss, are you there?

Derrick looks toward the exit and thinks he sees someone

exiting on foot.

DERRICK

Hello, Miss, you forgot your

guitar.

No response. Derrick hears moaning and heavy breathing

and what also sounds like snarling. Afraid for his life

now, he heads toward the lit exit sign. He looks behind

him and sees a shadowing image quickly pass under the

light in front of the elevator doors.

DERRICK

I’m getting the fuck outta here.

Derrick notices an old Chevy Impala parked. He wants to

steal it so he can escape. He pulls on the door handle.

Suddenly car alarms begin to blare throughout the garage.

Derrick sees a shadow on the wall across from him.

Derrick looks toward a large Cadillac SUV and runs to

duck under it. His eyes search the garage from under the

SUV. Derrick feels both ankles grabbed and his body

snatched from under the SUV.

DERRICK

HELP!!

The MONSTER ASSISTANT subdues Derrick and renders him

unconscious. The Monster’s assistant drags Derricks

unconscious body to a white construction van parked in a

dark corner. He opens the door and tosses Derrick into

the back by his ankle. We see a few other unconscious

bodies previously stacked in the van. The Monster’s

assistant slams the doors shut.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott’s BLOODSTREAM:

HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1

ACT 1 SET UP FOR HORROR

INT. BASEMENT OF MONSTERS HOUSE – NIGHT

ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:

Cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 now empty surgical type bondage chairs.

3 YEARS LATER:

INT. VAMPIRE CANCER AFTERCARE TREATMENT CENTER (VCATC) – DAY

Chessley patiently waits for the elevator to take him from the first floor to the sixth floor for his daily aftercare treatment that consists of a light cardio workout, healthy smoothie, massage, spa, and meditation. He boards the elevator. It’s week three of the aftercare treatment.

The elevator stops short of floor six. He’s forced off and onto a detour crossing an adjacent building’s bridge. He takes to elevator but instead of going to floor six it descends to the garage level.

The Bridge looks scary.

When the elevator stops Chessley leans out but holds the door open. It’s the last we see of him for now.

This chain of events happens six more times with a total of seven victims taken. The monster reveals himself when necessary. The captures go fairly easy until Derrick’s and Wanda’s attempted capture.

Derrick lands on the garage level , the elevator doors open, he notices a guitar case laying on the ground near the elevator. Derrick keeps trying to close the elevator doors but nothing happens. He is very skeptical but sees daylight at the end of the garage. The victim runs but fears he’s being chased by the shadows on the walls and tries to hide under a car. When he thinks the coast is clear he runs for the entrance screaming and yelling for help but is caught.

Derrick bolts for the daylight only to be captured just before his sure escape.

HS: Wanda lands at the garage level see’s the guitar and jumps into a MMA fighting stance. She puts up quite a fight before being overpowered by the monster and unconscious.

We see the monster’s assistant loading Derrick’s body into the back of a plain white no windowed work van. The other members of the group are also laying in the van stacked and unconscious.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

Each member of the kidnapped group files one by one past the Funeral Director, up the isle toward a closed casket. All members file past the closed casket and then to take a seat in the seating area pews. One person is already seated and another person is standing to give a eulogy.

Once each member of the group sits they become frozen stiff, unable to move or speak. The only person able to move or speak is the speaker.

They don’t remember being captured and don’t know why they are at a funeral with a bunch of strangers and for a deceased person no one seems to personally know.

They hear a buzzer sounding but unable to react to it.

Monster Reveal: The Monster is actually the Funeral Director hiding in plain sight for now.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED:

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT — DAY

Each of the new group members wake.

Yells for help, realizing they are strapped to chairs. Struggles to free themselves.

They notice that the one who was speaking at the wake service. She remains asleep.

They think if they can wake her up, since she was speaking at the wake, she can tell them what’s going on. Where are they and how they all got there?

Unbelief that this is real. The last thing they all remember was showing up for the weekly appointment at the VCATC.

They notice the IV drips attached to their arms but not the suction drainer attached to their oblique area. They think that this must be part of the treatment going into week four..

They barely remember the wake service for now.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR — NIGHT

The buzzer sounds again. The group is unconscious. They regains consciousness but have returned to the wake ceremony only this time already seated and again frozen stiff unable to talk or move. The same person is finishing up her eulogy. She says her final words and exits the room past the Funeral Director. The person who was already seated the first time rises and walks toward the casket, turns to the audience and begins his speech. The exact same words as the first speaker are spoken

Unable to move but fear in the eyes.

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

The group wakes back up in the basement. The new speaker remains unconscious. They are all still strapped to their chairs with the IV drip no longer dripping.

Michelle notices that the IV drip has stopped but remembered that it started dripping right when the clock buzzer sounded. Derrick, Malcolm, Wanda, Niki are all still yelling for help, begging. Chessley just sits unresponsive.

Michelle tries to get the group to calm down. She looks toward Chessley, the only other person who is quiet, for support but he’s not interested in helping.

Michelle yells quiet as loud as she can. “Listen”

The group can hear chopping sounds in the background. It sounds like a butcher at work.

This makes the group become quiet and then even more hysterical.

Derrick notices that one person remains unconscious in his chair. Michelle notices that the IV is still dripping into his veins.

They yell for him to wake up. They think he might know something.

Michelle remembers him from somewhere. In fact she begins to remember everyone from somewhere.

They all agree that they don’t know each other and have never met but there is something familiar to each of them.

They make introductions and discover that they had all volunteered for the vampire/human blood peace drive, had recently survived colon cancer and were receiving after care treatment from the VCATC.

They calm down some when Malcolm suggests that this may be part of the fourth week treatment, when they bring us all together as a group.

They begin to hope one of the representatives will show up and explain everything.

The buzzer on the clock sounds off.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR — NIGHT

The group is back seated in the funeral parlor for the wake service. They notice the same speaker is speaking and seems to be wrapping up his thoughts. Unable to move or speak, each member of the group has fear in their eyes as the speaker exits the room past the funeral director.

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

They hear a buzzer and once again wake up in the basement. They notice that they have moved over one chair and that there is an empty chair at the end of the row. One person, the speaker is now gone.

Some feel like the missing person’s treatment must be over while some feel like something nefarious is happening.

Derrick yells and demands to see who is in charge. No response. Wanda takes a quick headcount. She remarks that there were originally eight of them.

The group hears more chopping in the background. Michelle can see what looks like a casket behind the front curtain and beyond the large clock.

Michelle solves the missing time they are experiencing.

CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Chessley tells how he didn’t really think he deserved to be treated at the center since he killed his younger brother but that his Uncle talked him into it by trying to convince him it wasn’t his fault that his younger brother overdosed on the drugs he was selling. Niki was skeptical about joining the group until her boyfriend convinced her. Wanda was skeptical until another former Marine assured her the follow up treatment was exactly what she needed. Derrick wasn’t going to join but his boss at the firm said it was mandatory or they’d lose the funding for future medical benefits. Michelle was also skeptical but was promised her band would have her job waiting for her when she was fully recovered and that she’d be strong enough to go on the tour. Malcolm, who has always had a overweight problem and has already begun putting his overweight back on, was assured that this aftercare treatment would help him lose the weight and keep it off. All agreed that the reps were very nice and the videos were awesome and for the first three weeks it’s been exactly the wonderful experience they promised. Most of the group, except Derrick, feels like the two missing readers must be finished with this level of treatment. They remember the elevator detour.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

The clock buzzes. Everyone is sharp now. They all pay attention to the clock and how the IV drip begins. They all file by the Funeral Director except Chessley who is standing at the podium.

As they file by the coffin Wanda tries her best to reach out and touch Chessley with her hand or fingertip and she is able to, however when she sits she can no longer move.

Chessley begins his speech. It’s the exact same words spoken by the other two speakers.

He is surprised by the words coming out of his mouth. He has no idea why he’s saying what he’s saying. Everyone is trying their best to move any part of their bodies.

They all hear a clock buzzer.

Chessley continues to speak.

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Michelle doesn’t believe that being strapped to the chairs with IV’s attached is part of the after treatment.

Everyone wakes up from the LSD trip and notice that the clock has a time of thirty minutes later.

Wanda takes another headcount and has everyone sound off with present.

They all notice that Chessley didn’t sound off with present.

Michelle focus’ on the casket behind the sheer black curtain at the front of the room.

She calls attention to it and wants everyone to focus on it as if they’ve seen it before.

They don’t want to focus on the fact that Chessley is still asleep.

Michelle and a few others recall attending a funeral lately and remember seeing each other there.

They all try to remember someone who died lately and attending a funeral.

They can’t remember anyone who died.

More of them remember attending a wake service lately.

They each remember that Chessley was also there but he was speaking.

They think that maybe Chessley knows the person who the wake service is for. They plead and yell for Chessley to wake up.

The clock ticks down to the buzzer sounding.

Everyone pays attention to the time on the clock the stream in the IV the head count and trying to remember whatever they can.

This is not part of the aftercare treatment.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT

The group is already seated. Chessley continues to speak and it appears as if he’s wrapping it up.

Everyone in the seats try as hard as they can to stand. They want to join Chessley at the podium and get a good look around the room. They can’t.

Chessley says, thank you and good night and begins to head for the door but he purposely bumps into the funeral director.

Everyone in the group tries as hard as they can to turn and watch him walk away. Michelle becomes teary eyed.

The buzzer sounds.

The group has returned to the basement.

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.

Wanda calls for a headcount. Chessley is missing.

They don’t want to believe Chessley is gone. They ponder the idea that maybe it is part of the treatment and that he’ll return to say goodbye.

Everyone sounds off. They notice that everyone is in a different chair. They’ve been moved during the time out. They agree that they are being repositioned.

They can hear chopping from the other room.

They are all quiet and listening to the chopping.

They refuse to believe that Chessley’s body is being chopped up. Emotional.

Michelle notices that her eyes are full of tears.

She asks if anyone remembers seeing Chessley leaving the time out place.

Niki notices that her clothes have been ruffled, her skirt is hiked up higher and her halter top feels like it’s not fitting like it should and her face feels sticky.

Niki doesn’t know what to make of her cloths feeling like they’ve been removed and replaced and why her skin and face feels so clammy and sticky.

They discuss what has occurred and what they can remember from the buzzer. Michelle figures out that the time outs are directly related to the clock buzzer, the IV drip, and that somehow the coffin behind the curtain is a focal point.

Everyone agrees with what they remember. Wanda remembers trying to touch Chessley but not sure if she dreamed it or if it was recent. Niki says she tried to also touch him. Malcolm remembers hearing the same words repeated by three different people like a song stuck in your head for days.

The audience notices a peep hole cut into the walls at different places. The audience can clearly see someone peeping at Niki and can hear drooling sounds from behind the wall.

The group members are unaware that they are being spied on. Wanda yells out that they need a plan to escape.

The buzzer sounds.

They have a tentative plan to again notice as much as they can.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.

We see the last person, Derrick, taking his seat. Michelle is at the podium and is about to speak.

She is in tears. Everyone seated fears for her life. CUT TO.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

The Monster and his assistant are panicking. Something has gone wrong with the LSD formula given to Michelle. She begins to wake up.

Michelle is waking up back in the monster basement.

The monster assistant checks the remote control delivery system. CUT TO.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.

Derrick and Malcolm pass out while sitting in the pew area. CUT TO.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.

Derrick and Malcolm secretly acknowledge each other.

The monster or assistant don’t notice that Derrick and Malcolm are awake. The two play possum.

The monster assistant begins to fondle Niki’s body while she is asleep.

Derrick and Malcolm hold their reaction in. The monster attacks his assistant for his unprofessionalism. The monster orders the assistant to issue a second dose to Michelle. Derrick and Malcolm are still conscious. CUT TO.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.

Michelle is still hoping for the best outcome. The group is hoping that this won’t be the last time they see Michelle.

Michelle’s speech is abruptly interrupted.

She collapses and falls to the floor. Everyone else is in shock.

INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Something has gone wrong with the LSD dosages. Michelle is partially awake and so are Malcolm and Derrick.

The monster and his assistant clear the room just in time for the group to return from the wake service.

Malcolm and Derrick have agreed not to mention what they saw in order to have a chance to save their own lives.

Malcolm can’t help it. He tells the whole story of what he witnessed.

They don’t believe him.

Malcolm insists that Derrick back him up so that maybe they can come up with a plan before the buzzer sounds off.

Derrick agrees. He then suggests using the monster assistant’s one weakness, his love for Niki.

Niki isn’t at all happy with this plan but everyone else is.

Wanda suggests that Niki hike her skirt up as high as she can and spread her thighs as far as she can and maybe this will distract the monster assistant when he administers the LSD serum. She suggests that it might be the only way to save Michelle from the next phase.

Niki agrees to bare all as soon as the buzzer sounds. Derrick and Malcolm have developed immunity to the amount of LSD their given. Prior drug use has them more tolerant to such a low dosage.

INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.

Michelle is continuing with her speech. Everyone is seated and focused of Michelle.

Malcolm and Derrick appear to be a little light headed and able to move their head to nod at each other. CUT TO.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Malcolm and Derrick are fully conscious and able to watch was actually goes on during the second phase of the wake service.

Malcolm and Derrick still playing possum.

MONSTER REVEAL:

They witness the monster and his assistant disconnecting each remaining group member one by one and moving them to a different chair.

They can’t believe what they are witnessing. They also can’t believe that their straps are now loose.

They remain playing possum.

Michelle’s body is thrown to the floor. The monster and his assistant sort of play leap frog with the group member’s bodies.

Malcolm’s body is lifted by the monster and moved to a new chair. Derrick’s body is picked up by the monster assistant and moved to a new chair.

No one has been strapped to the chairs.

Derrick wants to make a run for it but Malcolm gives him a look that says don’t do it.

While the monster is strapping Malcolm he becomes distracted by Michelle, who should be dead, rolling over.

The monster doesn’t completely secure Malcolm.

As the monster assistant begins to strap Niki into her chair he is overcome with lust and begins to fondle her.

The monster attacks the assistant again.

The monster picks up Michelle’s body and sinks his teeth into her neck and drains whatever blood and life left in her.

The monster orders his assistant to drag Michelle’s body away.

The monster thinks he hears whispering from the chairs.

The monster gets close up and personal with each group member and tries to determine if someone is still awake.

The monster discovers that everyone is unconscious.

Malcolm and Derrick are only partially strapped in.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.

The group returns and notices that Michelle is no longer with them.

They feel like the plan to distract the monster didn’t work.

Niki feels like she sacrificed her body for nothing. Malcolm and Derrick explain what happened and that they are only partially strapped in and able to escape. They also explain that the monster is a popular Det. With the Atl police department who is on tv every week. He’s the vampire/human liaison officer. It’s his job to keep the peace between Humans and Vampires.

The group can hear chopping of what they are now sure body parts.

Wanda, what are you guys waiting for let’s get out of here.

Derrick suggests that only one person escape and goes for help. Too many escaping will get them all killed.

Malcolm tries to release Niki while Derrick tries to release Wanda.

It fails. The monster and his assistant return to the room after hearing the commotion.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

FIGHT TO THE DEATH:

INT. ATLANTA POLICE DEPARTMENT VAMPIRE/HUMAN HOMICIDE VICTIMS UNIT – NIGHT

DETECTIVE RILEY is welcomed to the unit by CAPTAIN MARSHAL. He directs Det Riley to stop by for an unannounced visit to Det. Reineer Davenport who hasn’t shown up for work in over four days and reminds him that Reineer’s brother has been missing.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT

Malcolm and Derrick duck behind the black curtain. They see a casket and other scary objects. They see someone chained to the floor with a black hood over her face.

Derrick wants to keep running but Malcolm wants to help her. Malcolm snatches the hood from her head. She looks to be a fierce vampire. She glares her fangs and hisses at him causing her chains to rattle.

The monster hears this and orders his assistant to check it out.

The assistant leaps behind the curtain hoping to catch the two escapees but they are gone.

Malcolm and Derrick make their way through the basement noticing things along the way. Such as Michelle’s clothing and mutilated body parts. They come across what appears to be a covered cage.

They hope to find a survivor. Derrick insists they find a way out.

Malcolm uncovers the cage. A vicious vampire dog type leaps at him from behind the cage doors.

Derrick, Can we go now Good Samaritan?

They find a partially open basement window.

They realize the window is too high to reach. They play rock paper scissors to see who will lift who through the window. They play a few rounds, Derrick cheats at it. Malcolm wins.

Derrick can’t lift Malcolm’s overweight body.

Malcolm couldn’t fit through window anyway.

Malcolm lifts Derrick through the window.

From outside the window, Derrick turns to restate his promise to go for help just as the monster snaps Malcolm’s neck all the way around.

The monster hears the doorbell ring.

The monster drags Malcolm’s body back to the chair room and places Malcolm’s dead body back into an empty chair.

The monster hears the doorbell again.

The monster calls for his assistant, no answer.

The assistant is hiding from the monster.

Wanda and Niki play sleep.

The doorbell rings again nonstop.

EXT. MONSTER HOUSE – NIGHT

Det. Riley is banging and ringing at the door. Derrick is watching from the side bushes but ready to make a run for it. He has no intentions on helping. After seeing Malcolm killed he figures everyone else is also dead.

Derrick watches as Det. Riley enters the house.

Derrick wants to get close enough to hear the conversation.

Derrick thinks that Det. Riley will save the day.

INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR — NIGHT

Det. Riley introduces himself to Det. Davenport and mentions that the Cpt. Told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner relocated from the DEKALB POLICE DEPARTMENT.

Det. Riley can hear cries for help coming from the basement but doesn’t let on that he can hear them.

The Monster realizes that the two remaining group members are awake and were playing possum.

Det. Riley tries to say goodbye so Det. Davenport can get back to whatever he was doing.

The Monster believes Det. Riley is onto him.

The Monster shows Det. Riley to the door.

The Monster grabs Riley by his neck and slams his head between the door and the doorframe continuously until brain matter spews from his fractured skull.

Derrick, who witnessed the whole thing takes off running down the street and has no plans to look back let alone help.

The Monster drags Det. Riley’s body to the chair room and flops it into one of the chairs.

The Monster snatches Wanda from her chair, breaking through the straps and all.

In true Marine fashion. She battles it out. You want to do this, come on; I already kicked your ass once. Let’s do this. I know who you are and when I’m done with you, you’ll be nothing.

She refuses to let the Monster make her beg or show any weakness.

The monster sinks his teeth into her neck, drains her of her blood and tosses her body to the floor.

EXT. MONSTER HOUSE STREET – NIGHT

Derrick has a second thought and turns around. He runs back the police car. Derrick makes a radio call to the police station, Officer Down and he gives them the address. He grabs the shotgun filled with shotgun shells filled with UV serum.

INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – NIGHT

Derrick makes his way with the shotgun to the basement chair room.

The Monster has grabbed Niki and snatched her from her chair and is going to kill her.

Niki begs the monster not to kill her and she will do anything he wants, just don’t kill me. She looks at the monster assistant and begs for his help.

The Monster reaches back with his free hand preparing to kill Niki.

Niki cries out again. The Monster assistant grabs the Monster’s hand to stop him.

The Monster can’t believe he’s been betrayed by his assistant.

He flings Niki to the floor and kills his assistant. The Monster looks around.

The Monster can’t believe how things have turned out.

The Monster picks Niki up to kill her.

Derrick is behind the Monster. “Hey”

The Monster turns toward Derrick.

Derrick fires the shotgun but it’s too late. The Monster is holding Niki’s heart in his hand as he bursts into amber flames.

Derrick takes a look around and can’t believe he survived.

INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR – NIGHT

Derrick is ordered to drop the gun by the waiting police and is swiftly removed from the house.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott

Character Journey Track

I learned how to go into more depth with the characters and I think this will help with some of the needed dialogue for the script drafts. It’s helping me organize my characters.

A. Character Profile: Derrick

1. Derrick- Jerk, anti hero, survivor, CEO of corporation, hero, fit body type

2. Jerk, obnoxious, selfish, downer, hopes everyone is killed before he is.

3. Hates, secretly fears vampires, fatherhood

4. To escape, to be left alone

5. No one is rooting for his survival,

6. Every man for himself.

7. Not liked by anyone in the group, Michelle is hopeful for him.

B. Character Journey: Derrick

1. Colon cancer survivor and receiving after care at Cancer Center

2. Skeptical but is convinced by the Human rep, marketing and other referrals.

3. Failed escape attempt after the initial elevator capture in the parking garage.

4. Doesn’t want to be bothered or get to know anyone else. No attachments.

5. Runs for his life, to hell with the others, returns to kill the monster.

6. Decides to run and not look back. Thinks of how nice Michelle was to him. Note: show police care so we think it’s the police who kill’s the monster. Surprise it’s derrick.

7. The most unlikely person can have the heart of a hero.

A. Character profile: Malcolm

1. Loser, overweight, Banquet room waiter,

2. Thoughtful, unlikely hero because of his weight, complainer, unconfident, wants to help

3. Dying, becoming a vampire, concerns for his mother’s well being, how much his parking fee will be after this.

4. Getting fired from his job, caring for his mother, needs to lose weight, colon cancer returning.

5. Well liked, willing to help with the plan. Trusting type.

6. Doesn’t want to leave anyone behind, Wants to let everyone in on what he and Derrick discover.

7. Gets along with everyone in the group, will go along but doesn’t think the plan will work.

B. Character Journey: Malcolm

1. Colon Cancer survivor and receiving care.

2. All for the Cancer Center, especially is it helps him lose the wait he put back on after the cancer treatment.

3. Captured during the original elevator event but tried to find some stairs before crossing the bridge.

4. We’re all gonna die, why even try we’ll just lose or make it worse.

5. He wants to tell the group what he and Derrick discovered. Helps Derrick through the basement window to escape.

6. Rock paper scissors at window. Makes Derrick swear he will return with help.

7. He’s so helpful, it’s sad when he dies.

A. Character Profile: Michelle

1. Innocent one, Grunge guitar player, hopeful.

2. Thoughtful, dark, heavy black make-up, black nails but plays folk music, don’t judge a book by its cover.

3. Dying, not showing up for her gig, cancer relapse, not finding her guitar, once played by her hero Kurt Cobain

4. Hopes someone will come and save them all. The only one who tries to motivate Derrick.

5. Positive vibes.

6. Well liked, Derrick thinks she’s naïve to the situation.

7. Wants Needs: for her band to win a recording contract,

B. Character Journey: Michelle

1. Colon cancer survivor

2. Wasn’t sure until she met the nice Representatives and watched the video references of past center patients.

3. Clueless, not at all skeptical about the detour, dropped her guitar and case near the elevator.

4. Tries to get everyone to think more positive about surviving.

5. She discovers the clock is significant to the LSD phases and that there are two phases, after the second phase the group is smaller.

6. Third death victim but helps the group a lot.

7. The moral compass trying to get everyone to work together, even Derrick, in the end is affected by her death, when she dies the groups hope dies also.

A. Character Profile: Wanda

1. Hardcore, former Marine, thinks strategically and tactfully, actually comes up with an idea.

2. Stern, non commissioned officer, never quit, security guard. her duty to country

3. Failing the others, dying a meaningless death.

4. Honor, wants to be a hero, to clear her name for a dishonorable discharge.

5. Well liked, hard charging, no real fear of death.

6. Struggles to free herself from the chairs. Insists Derrick fess up.

7. Wants them to stop chatting so much about themselves and more about their situation.

B. Character Journey: Wanda

1. Colon cancer survivor.

2. Was skeptical until another former Marine referred her and watching the videos.

3. She fought hard with the monster but lost, woke up with no memory.

4. Treated them like they were under her command, issuing orders.

5. Heart of a champion but is helpless physically to fight back, other than struggle against the straps on her first phase..

6. Derrick and Malcolm watch in silence and secret as the monster rips her throat out with his teeth.

7. They lose their sense of organization and leadership.

A. Character Profile: Det. Riley

1. Group outsider, Det. For the APD, straight shooter by the book.

2. Stern Detective, wrong place wrong time but inadvertently helps kill the monster.

B. Character Journey: Det. Riley

1. Visits Det. Davenport, Monster, by orders of the precinct captain to inquire about his absence from work.

2. Acts like he doesn’t notice the horror sounds coming from the basement. Tries to casually walk away and later call for help. He knows that Det. Davenport is a vampire who works for the APD but is now suspicious.

3. No relation to the group.

4. Tries to leave.

5. Gets his head crushed by the continuous slamming of the front door, by the monster, onto his head.

6. Instead of being a hero he becomes a victim.

A. Character Profile: Niki

1. Sexy love interest, top retail sales, leads with her heart.

2. Flirty, gets ahead because she’s smart and uses her fem charms. Has a boyfriend

3. Not being taken seriously in spite of her looks. She’s no dumb blond.

4. To be accepted for her brains not just her looks but be able to use both when she wants to.

5. Well liked.

6. They figure out that the monster assistant is crushing on her. It’s their only weapon.

7. Well liked. Agrees to flirt with the hideous creature but ends up having feelings for him.

B. Character Journey: Niki

1. Colon Cancer survivor.

2. Was skeptical even after the presentation but her boyfriend talked her into it.

3. Followed the elevator detour without a second thought. Caught by monster in the garage. Forgot the whole ordeal just like the others.

4. Just like the rest of the group, Niki wants to know what’s going on, where is she and how did she get there.

5. She agrees to flirt with the monster assistant to help the plan of escape.

6. She’s killed just as Derrick returns to save her and kills the monster.

7. Derrick is heart broken over it. If he had only returned sooner.

A. Character Profile: Kimwakazzi

1. Monster Assistant

2. Horridly scarred. Hard to look at, scary, ancient vampire familiar forced into slave labor.

3. Killed by the monster while trying to save Niki’s life.

[Tony Scott]

Hi

I don’t have lesson 8. Can you resend it?

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

Monster Reveal

The Thing is one of my alltime favorite horror films. 1982 and 2011. The 1982 version and Alien changed the world of horror. I was so happy for the prequel. I’m not sure if I’m doing the overlay correctly. What I learned is how to further list the sequence of events and this time its’ the revealing of the monster.

1. My monster is actually an outstanding member of the vampire community and serves as a Homicide Police Detective Reineer Davenport of the Atlanta Special Vampire Crimes Task Force. In the opening scene the Monster’s assistant is seen dragging the last remaining dead body of the victim group from years before. The Monster is present during the elevator scenes during the original abductions but because of his power of speed he is never really seen or remembered by the group.

A. He has the power of speed, super strength, good looks.

B. He has a weakness for the sun and special UV weapons used by humans. His popularity.

C. He is limited to only being able to operate outdoors when the sun is down or very cloudy days.

D. His plan is to drain the blood from the group without them knowing what is going on. He keeps them hopped up on LSD during certain intervals which also keep them from remembering what’s going on. The blood drive isn’t for him but for someone else who he feels needs it.

2. Sequence the reveals.

A. The monster is busy at work in the beginning but the audience never gets a good enough look at him.

B. He is revealed at the first funeral wake scene but the audience doesn’t know he’s the monster hiding in plain sight.

C. The monster assistant is revealed by accident and then begins flirting with Niki and hates on Derrick.

D. The first reveal of the monster comes during the fourth killing cycle.

E. Killing Malcolm at the basement window. Placing him in the chair.

F. Killing Det. Riley

G. Placing Det. Riley’s body in the basement chairs.

H. Realizing the plan isn’t working the monster decides to kill Niki.

I. Killing his own assistant.

J. Killing Niki as he gets shot to death by Derrick.

3. Create demand for each clue/reveal.

A. The group tries to figure out who, what, when and how of their situation.

B. The accidental dose leaves two of the group awake during the phase two of the fourth killing cycle.

C. The monster believes someone is awake that should be asleep.

D. Two of the group escapes. The chase in the basement.

E. The monster believes Det. Riley can hear screams for help coming from the basement.

F. The monster decides to call it quits and shuck his failing plan.

G. The monster assistant is bothered by what’s going to happen to Niki.

H. Derrick shows up with the shotgun.

Tony J’s BLOODSTREAM: HORROR SITUATION TRACK

What I learned is that this is very hard. I learned how to track the ups and downs and I hope I am doing this right.

ACT 1 SET UP FOR HORROR

· ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:

The Opening scene cuts between the two settings. The lone person reading a eulogy at a wake service at a funeral parlor then cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 empty surgical type bondage chairs. The person reading the eulogy is dressed the same as the body being dragged. It’s the same person.

10 YEARS LATER:

· CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:

HORROR SITUATION:

The elevator they normally use to go to the tenth floor stops on floor six and thereby forced off the elevator to an adjoining building’s bridge detour and have to take a different elevator. Things really become harry when after pressing the up button it takes them straight down to an unlit, seemingly unsafe garage level.

REACTION:

Each group member tries to hurry back to the elevator before the doors close but is apprehended by the monster.

HORROR SITUATION:

One of the group decides to try not getting back on the elevator and heads for the daylight he sees. A chase pursues and just as he thinks he’s made it to the entrance the Monster’s assistant grabs him.

REACTION:

The victim runs and tries to hide under a car. When he thinks the coast is clear he runs for the entrance screaming and yelling for help but is caught.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

· ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED:

Each group member awakes in turn to discover they are in a dungeon type basement strapped to medical procedure type chairs and cannot move. They discover each other and the surroundings and begin the hallucinations back and forth from the basement to the funeral parlor. The discoveries continue until the monster begins to make mistakes. The group notices that the hallucinations happen in two phases. The first phase has the group returning to find the eulogy speaker asleep or unconscious and after returning the second time the eulogy reader is missing and or replaced with a new captive.

HORROR SITUATION:

Everyone who is shackled is screaming for help and trying to break free from the chairs.

REACTION:

The clock buzzes and begins the first LSD type trip to the funeral parlor for the first wake ceremony. They all file into the parlor passing by the funeral director/ monster and closed coffin before sitting. One of the group members stands and walks to the front to speak kindly of the departed.

HORROR SITUATION:

The group returns from the funeral parlor setting to find that one person of the group is unconscious and the group is unaware of anything. NOTE: The group is unaware that they have been asleep and don’t remember anything from the wake service.

REACTION:

They try to wake the group member up to ask if she knows anything. She never wakes up.

HORROR SITUATION:

The group returns to the funeral parlor, unable to move or speak except for the speaker. They watch as the speaker leaves the parlor of her own free will however they are still unable to move.

REACTION:

As the group returns to the basement they notice that the speaker is no longer among them. Her chair is empty. DENIAL- Not everyone in the group remembers the person. There is some denial that the chair was occupied. TRY TO SOLVE- They try to devise a plan to figure out what happened to her.

Rinse and repeat a few times until there are only four group members remaining. Each time they notice a member asleep when everyone else is awake but still no answers.

HORROR SITUATION:

They begin to notice that the clock is also a timer. One of them figures out that they are losing time. They begin to realize that they are missing 15-20 minutes every half an hour and that somehow the group is getting smaller. They hear chopping from a different room in the basement.

REACTION:

They agree to pay more attention to the time and each other. They figure out the time sequence and one of them notices a shoelace is untied. How? One of them remembers images from the funeral parlor. They all agree that they are like in two different places. They scream when they hear monster assistant mutilating a corpse.

HORROR SITUATION:

One of them notices that he has a free hand during the wake at the funeral parlor and is shocked. Back at the basement the monster’s assistant is moving the chairs and accidentally loosens the wrist strap on one of them.

REACTION:

ESCAPE ATTEMPT- Back in the basement one of them is able to free his hands from the strap. He knows that this is at the halfway phase and now is the time to escape.

HORROR SITUATION:

The group returns in time to observe the monster’s assistant securing the loose member to his chair.

REACTION:

What the group now thinks is the actual monster in charge is exposed. The assistant hones in on one of the group and makes it obvious his feelings for him/her. The group later realizes that they have a weapon to use to their advantage. Too late the buzzer sounds. He’s unconscious again. When they return he is fully bound again. But something has changed. The assistant is standing in front of the love interest fascinated. She/he flirts in return.

HORROR SITUATION:

The real monster calls to his assistant and startles the group.

REACTION:

They are all confused and decide that this flirty thing is their way out. The assistant no longer hides himself behind the walls and curtain when the buzzer sounds. He presses the remote as they look. The partially freed member remembers more images from the funeral parlor and shares what he remembers.

HORROR SITUATION:

Because of the mistake with the wrist strap the monster makes a mistake with the LSD mix and forgets to include the LSD mix in two of the group member’s saline I.V. drip. One of the two secretly awake coughs slightly but enough to make the monster aware that something is wrong. The monster tries to figure out who is awake before the buzzer sounds. The buzzer sounds as the monster approaches one of them but has to forego it because of the buzzer.

REACTION:

The two members play possum and witness everything the monster and his assistant do during the 15-20 minute trip including the final death and removal of the speaker. The monster sinks his teeth into the victim’s neck and drains any remaining blood.

· MONSTER:

Not the monster but the monster’s assistant chopping off body parts from the body that we saw dragged away in the opening scene. NOTE: They reposition each group after each one is taken away. The person speaking at the wake is removed.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

· FIGHT TO THE DEATH:

The potion begins to lose its power over the group. No more trips to the funeral parlor. There are four remaining in the group.

HORROR SITUATION:

The straps begin to get loose enough for the two woke victims to free their hands and then their feet. One tries to free the wrist band on another but can’t. He wants to stay with the other one who is set on finding a way out.

REACTION:

The two left of the group members beg to be released but they are ignored. They both selfishly take off for what they think is freedom only to become lost and hunted in the monster’s house of horrors. It seems it’s every man for himself. They both find a basement window that leads to outside but the window is too high. Only one can escape.

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster and his assistant enter into the chair room and notice that two group members have escaped.

REACTION:

The monster takes off after them while the assistant inspects the two remaining members and scares them.

HORROR SITUATION:

One boosts the other to the window just as the monster finds them. He subdues the one and tries to subdue the other but he manages to scrape himself through the window. He turns to look back as the monster snaps the other’s neck.

REACTION:

The monster hears the doorbell ring to his house. The escaped group member watches from the bushes.

· HYSTERIA:

As they become free the other two still bound become hysterical, screaming, yelling for help, crying to be freed next.

The two decide to make a run for it hoping to find a way to escape.

THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH

· The now dead group member is returned to his chair so the others can see him. The doorbell rings again. The monster leaves the kill room to go answer the door but forgets to close the soundproof basement door. At the door is Detective Riley.

HORROR SITUATION:

Det. Riley has a conversation with the monster, now identified as Det. Davenport about his recent absence from work. Det. Riley acts like he ignores the screams for help coming from the basement.

REACTION:

Det. Riley decides to leave without drawing suspicion but the monster grabs him and breaks his neck killing him. The monster drags Det. Riley’s body to the basement to the chopping room.

HORROR SITUATION:

The escaped member calls the police from Det. Riley’s car but isn’t sure if the call went through.

REACTION:

The escaped member grabs a shot gun that contains ultra violet bullets. He crawls back and jumps down from the open basement window.

DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE OR MORE

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster places Det. Riley’s body next to the female member. He releases the straps on her chair. He bights into her neck and kill her.

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster attempts to kill the second female in the same manner.

REACTION:

The monster assistant prevents the monster from killing her. They both fight. The monster kills his assistant by tearing his head from his shoulders.

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster goes for the girl again who has been trying to crawl away. He picks her up to bight her again.

REACTION:

We hear a loud shot gun blast from behind the monster. Derrick notices Niki’s heart in the Monster’s clenched fist just as he pulls the trigger. Niki’s body drops lifelessly to the floor as the monster disintegrates into ashes and flame sparkles.

The lone survivor walks up the stairs through the front door and is rescued by the police who arrive just in time.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott.

Character Death Track.

I learned that the death order gives meaning to the story. In my story I needed a couple of kills to help the plot and as they begin to figure things out and feel a possibility of hope the moral one, innocent one of the group is killed making it seem hopeless all over again. I learned that the most unlikely hero is the one who has the most room to evolve.

Character Death order:

1. Reader number one: Female reader at the funeral wake. She dies in two phases. Her death serves the purpose of introducing us to the plot of the movie. Her blood is drained but not significant for now. This establishes the sequence.

2. Reader number two: Male reader at the funeral wake. The purpose is the same as above and takes place as the main group members begin to notice a pattern. His blood is also drained. More clues are discovered with this kill. Moves the story forward.

3. Michelle: The innocent one who begins to notice things like the clock. Tries to get to know the other group members and how they were all chosen. Death by blood drained. This morally hurts the group and their motivation. She was the one who was sure they’d be saved. The group begins to develop a plan.

4. Wanda: Because of Niki’s flirting the monster assistant, something goes wrong during her death sequence during the second phase. During the wake she asks “where am I and what’s going on”? Cutting back to her in the chair. Two other group members witness her death by vampire bite.

5. Malcolm: Death by broken neck. Malcolm and Derrick escape and after Malcolm helps Derrick out of the basement window he is discovered by the monster. He’s killed because he would surely be the most likely hero to return with help and save the remainder of the group.

6. Det. Riley: Killed by having his head crushed by the monster after hearing cries for help coming from the basement. An outsider not part of the group. Wrong place wrong time killing.

7. The monster assistant: he is decapitated by the monster for interfering with the killing of the last survivor. The assistant has fallen for Niki and wants to save her.

8. Niki: Flirts with the monster assistant in order to distract him during the sequence. death by having her heart pulled from her chest. She was developing feelings for the monster assistant. Easily falls in love with anyone who will pay attention to her. Leads with her heart.

9. The Monster: death by shotgun shell filled with ultraviolet solution. Killed by Derrick.

10. Derrick: The survivor. The most unlikely hero but happens to really hate vampires.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J’s BLOODSTREAM: HORROR SITUATION TRACK

What I learned is that this is very hard. I learned how to track the ups and downs and I hope I am doing this right.

ACT 1 SET UP FOR HORROR

· ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:

The Opening scene cuts between the two settings. The lone person reading a eulogy at a wake service at a funeral parlor then cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 empty surgical type bondage chairs. The person reading the eulogy is dressed the same as the body being dragged. It’s the same person.

10 YEARS LATER:

· CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:

HORROR SITUATION:

The elevator they normally use to go to the tenth floor stops on floor six and thereby forced off the elevator to an adjoining building’s bridge detour and have to take a different elevator. Things really become harry when after pressing the up button it takes them straight down to an unlit, seemingly unsafe garage level.

REACTION:

Each group member tries to hurry back to the elevator before the doors close but is apprehended by the monster.

HORROR SITUATION:

One of the group decides to try not getting back on the elevator and heads for the daylight he sees. A chase pursues and just as he thinks he’s made it to the entrance the Monster’s assistant grabs him.

REACTION:

The victim runs and tries to hide under a car. When he thinks the coast is clear he runs for the entrance screaming and yelling for help but is caught.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

· ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTED:

Each group member awakes in turn to discover they are in a dungeon type basement strapped to medical procedure type chairs and cannot move. They discover each other and the surroundings and begin the hallucinations back and forth from the basement to the funeral parlor. The discoveries continue until the monster begins to make mistakes. The group notices that the hallucinations happen in two phases. The first phase has the group returning to find the eulogy speaker asleep or unconscious and after returning the second time the eulogy reader is missing and or replaced with a new captive.

HORROR SITUATION:

Everyone who is shackled is screaming for help and trying to break free from the chairs.

REACTION:

The clock buzzes and begins the first LSD type trip to the funeral parlor for the first wake ceremony. They all file into the parlor passing by the funeral director/ monster and closed coffin before sitting. One of the group members stands and walks to the front to speak kindly of the departed.

HORROR SITUATION:

The group returns from the funeral parlor setting to find that one person of the group is unconscious and the group is unaware of anything. NOTE: The group is unaware that they have been asleep and don’t remember anything from the wake service.

REACTION:

They try to wake the group member up to ask if she knows anything. She never wakes up.

HORROR SITUATION:

The group returns to the funeral parlor, unable to move or speak except for the speaker. They watch as the speaker leaves the parlor of her own free will however they are still unable to move.

REACTION:

As the group returns to the basement they notice that the speaker is no longer among them. Her chair is empty. DENIAL- Not everyone in the group remembers the person. There is some denial that the chair was occupied. TRY TO SOLVE- They try to devise a plan to figure out what happened to her.

Rinse and repeat a few times until there are only four group members remaining. Each time they notice a member asleep when everyone else is awake but still no answers.

HORROR SITUATION:

They begin to notice that the clock is also a timer. One of them figures out that they are losing time. They begin to realize that they are missing 15-20 minutes every half an hour and that somehow the group is getting smaller. They hear chopping from a different room in the basement.

REACTION:

They agree to pay more attention to the time and each other. They figure out the time sequence and one of them notices a shoelace is untied. How? One of them remembers images from the funeral parlor. They all agree that they are like in two different places. They scream when they hear monster assistant mutilating a corpse.

HORROR SITUATION:

One of them notices that he has a free hand during the wake at the funeral parlor and is shocked. Back at the basement the monster’s assistant is moving the chairs and accidentally loosens the wrist strap on one of them.

REACTION:

ESCAPE ATTEMPT- Back in the basement one of them is able to free his hands from the strap. He knows that this is at the halfway phase and now is the time to escape.

HORROR SITUATION:

The group returns in time to observe the monster’s assistant securing the loose member to his chair.

REACTION:

What the group now thinks is the actual monster in charge is exposed. The assistant hones in on one of the group and makes it obvious his feelings for him/her. The group later realizes that they have a weapon to use to their advantage. Too late the buzzer sounds. He’s unconscious again. When they return he is fully bound again. But something has changed. The assistant is standing in front of the love interest fascinated. She/he flirts in return.

HORROR SITUATION:

The real monster calls to his assistant and startles the group.

REACTION:

They are all confused and decide that this flirty thing is their way out. The assistant no longer hides himself behind the walls and curtain when the buzzer sounds. He presses the remote as they look. The partially freed member remembers more images from the funeral parlor and shares what he remembers.

HORROR SITUATION:

Because of the mistake with the wrist strap the monster makes a mistake with the LSD mix and forgets to include the LSD mix in two of the group member’s saline I.V. drip. One of the two secretly awake coughs slightly but enough to make the monster aware that something is wrong. The monster tries to figure out who is awake before the buzzer sounds. The buzzer sounds as the monster approaches one of them but has to forego it because of the buzzer.

REACTION:

The two members play possum and witness everything the monster and his assistant do during the 15-20 minute trip including the final death and removal of the speaker. The monster sinks his teeth into the victim’s neck and drains any remaining blood.

· MONSTER:

Not the monster but the monster’s assistant chopping off body parts from the body that we saw dragged away in the opening scene. NOTE: They reposition each group after each one is taken away. The person speaking at the wake is removed.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

· FIGHT TO THE DEATH:

The potion begins to lose its power over the group. No more trips to the funeral parlor. There are four remaining in the group.

HORROR SITUATION:

The straps begin to get loose enough for the two woke victims to free their hands and then their feet. One tries to free the wrist band on another but can’t. He wants to stay with the other one who is set on finding a way out.

REACTION:

The two left of the group members beg to be released but they are ignored. They both selfishly take off for what they think is freedom only to become lost and hunted in the monster’s house of horrors. It seems it’s every man for himself. They both find a basement window that leads to outside but the window is too high. Only one can escape.

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster and his assistant enter into the chair room and notice that two group members have escaped.

REACTION:

The monster takes off after them while the assistant inspects the two remaining members and scares them.

HORROR SITUATION:

One boosts the other to the window just as the monster finds them. He subdues the one and tries to subdue the other but he manages to scrape himself through the window. He turns to look back as the monster snaps the other’s neck.

REACTION:

The monster hears the doorbell ring to his house. The escaped group member watches from the bushes.

· HYSTERIA:

As they become free the other two still bound become hysterical, screaming, yelling for help, crying to be freed next.

The two decide to make a run for it hoping to find a way to escape.

THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH

· The now dead group member is returned to his chair so the others can see him. The doorbell rings again. The monster leaves the kill room to go answer the door but forgets to close the soundproof basement door. At the door is Detective Riley.

HORROR SITUATION:

Det. Riley has a conversation with the monster, now identified as Det. Davenport about his recent absence from work. Det. Riley acts like he ignores the screams for help coming from the basement.

REACTION:

Det. Riley decides to leave without drawing suspicion but the monster grabs him and breaks his neck killing him. The monster drags Det. Riley’s body to the basement to the chopping room.

HORROR SITUATION:

The escaped member calls the police from Det. Riley’s car but isn’t sure if the call went through.

REACTION:

The escaped member grabs a shot gun that contains ultra violet bullets. He crawls back and jumps down from the open basement window.

DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE OR MORE

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster places Det. Riley’s body next to the female member. He releases the straps on her chair. He bights into her neck and kill her.

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster attempts to kill the second female in the same manner.

REACTION:

The monster assistant prevents the monster from killing her. They both fight. The monster kills his assistant by tearing his head from his shoulders.

HORROR SITUATION:

The monster goes for the girl again who has been trying to crawl away. He picks her up to bight her again.

REACTION:

We hear a loud shot gun blast from behind the monster. The monster drops the girl and turns toward his assailant just as he bursts into flames.

The two survivors walk up the stairs through the front door and are rescued by the police who arrive just in time.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J’s BLOODSTREAM: HORROR PLOT

What I learned is making the characters feel personal to the audience establishes a relationship. There are phases to storytelling that need to make sense in order to set up great conflict. When you think it’s over it isn’t. It’s a process like building blocks.

ACT 1 SET UP FOR HORROR

· ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:

The Opening scene cuts between the two settings. The lone person reading a eulogy at a wake service at a funeral parlor then cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 empty surgical type bondage chairs. The person reading the eulogy is the dressed the same as the body being dragged. It’s the same person.

· CONNECT WITH THE CHARACTERS:

Each group member has overcome stage four colon cancer and is considering four week long follow up treatment at a special after care facility that has been established by the vampire high council on health and welfare of humans. Each group member is trying to decide whether they should enroll despite rumors of malicious occurrences happening to patients who have been there before. The facility aftercare programs successfully treat thousands of cancers survivors worldwide annually.

· CHARACTERS ARE WARNED NOT TO DO IT:

Each group member, mostly strangers, is warned by friends, loved ones, and intuition, not to sign on for this luxurious aftercare program no matter how good it sounds. There is a new drug crisis reported daily on the news and is hitting the world on a global scale affecting humans in ways never seen before. There is a rumor that this facility has something to do with it and has been the object of speculation and investigation.

· DENIAL OF HORROR:

Each group member meets in private with an assigned aftercare treatment representative and insures them there will be no cost/fee and that it will be like a vacation resort and that, despite the rumors, they are guaranteed safety, security, and a warm caring environment.

· SAFETY TAKEN AWAY:

The first real indication of something bad is going to happen occurs to each group member individually after the second week of treatment. The elevator they normally use to go to the tenth floor stops on floor six and thereby forced off the elevator to an adjoining building’s bridge detour and have to take a different elevator. Things really become harry when after pressing the up button it takes them straight down to an unlit, seemingly unsafe garage level.

· MONSTER:

Not the monster but the monster’s assistant chopping off body parts from the body that we saw dragged away in the opening scene.

ACT 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN

· ISOLATED/TRAPPED/ABDUCTDED:

Each group member awakes in turn to discover they are in a dungeon type basement strapped to medical procedure type chairs and cannot move head to toe. They discover each other and the surroundings and begin the hallucinations back and forth from the basement to the funeral parlor. The discoveries continue until the monster begins to make mistakes. The group notices that the hallucinations happen in two phases. The first phase has the group returning to find the eulogy speaker asleep or unconscious and after returning the second time the eulogy reader is missing and or replaced with a new captive.

· ONE OF US IS KILLED:

During one of the group’s funeral parlor hallucinations one or two of the members snap out of the dream and is secretly conscious during what takes place in the basement dungeon. They see the monster in action. The monster and his assistant unbind the eulogy reader, near death from blood loss, from the chair. The lead monster/vampire sinks his teeth into the neck of the victim, killing him for sure. The monster assistant drags the body away into the cutting room. The two secretly conscious group members who are playing unconscious can hear the monster’s assistant mutilating the corpse and eating the remains. The two group members are sitting across from each other witnessing the murder.

MIDPOINT—THE MONSTER IS WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

· FULL PURSUIT BY THE MONSTER:

The monster hears a slight cough. After realizing that he may have exposed himself to a few group members he attempts to figure out who the culprit is before the return buzzer sounds and the hallucination wears off and becoming exposed to the group. The monster fails. The buzzer sounds. The monster then decides to speed up the hallucination phase and move onto a newer group.

· TERRORIZED:

The two secretly conscious group members are terrified at what they witnessed and aren’t sure if they should tell the rest of the group what they witnessed. They eventually tell the group. NOTE: The monster’s assistant is falling in love with one of the group and is what is causing the mistakes with the early wake ups.

ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR

· FIGHT TO THE DEATH:

The potion begins to lose its power over the group and one by one they are able to free themselves from the restraints. One or two try to free the others while a few selfishly takes off for what they think is freedom only to become lost and hunted in the monster’s house of horrors.

· HYSTERIA:

As they become free they become hysterical, screaming, yelling for help, crying to be freed next. Trying to decide if they should run, free the others, play possum or try and fight the monster and the assistant.

THE THRILLING ESCAPE FROM DEATH

· One or two of the group are caught and returned to the chairs. One or two others from the group are killed by the monster. Chase scenes throughout the house. The doorbell rings. At the door is Detective Riley.

DEATH RETURNS TO TAKE ONE OR MORE

· Just as they thought they were free and clear of the monster and are about to walk out the door to freedom they wake up at the funeral parlor however short one group member who escaped. It isn’t over.

[Tony Scott]

Subject Line: Tony J. Scott

Characters for Horror.

I learned that specifics really will make a difference in telling a story. It helped me really hesh out why each person in the group is chosen by the monster. I learned that each character plays a specific role and is revealed through their personalities and behavior that allows the audience to identify and recognize each person separately and how each reacts to the same horrific situation.

1.

Concept:

Six to eight people are trapped in a basement strapped to chairs. They can see each other. Each chair sets almost connected to the wall directly behind it. There are walls surrounding the room on three sides. At the front of the room is a sheer black curtain and they can barely see through it. There is a large time clock hanging from the ceiling in front of the black curtain. The victims can see the clock and hear the buzzer.

Every hour the clock rings on cue. The captured group of people becomes momentarily unconscious only to awaken at a wake ceremony in a funeral parlor. One member of the group is reading a statement about the dearly departed lying in state, closed casket service. When the group wakes up back in the basement still strapped in the chairs they notice that one person from the group is missing and that strangely there is a different time on the clock. They are unaware of the time loss or being unconscious.

The Group:

The group is specially selected. In this alternate world, in order to keep the peace, humans have volunteered to donate blood for vampire consumption. They are unaware that the vampire council is secretly testing the donated blood in order to identify a certain gene that is rumored to be the base ingredient that when combined with the remainder ingredients, of a scientific solution, will allow vampires to walk during the daytime. An amendment to the Human/Vampire peace agreement states that Vampires will not pursue any attempts to sunup existence. The vampires believe that this gene may exist in colon cancer survivors but only for one year after receiving a diagnosis that their colon cancer is in submission.

2. Dying pattern.

6-8 characters die at different times, mostly in the same manner but they don’t see the dying. They only know that one more person is missing.

3.

Detective Leo Riley, an outsider to the group becomes the leader and rescuer.

Derrick, is the jerk they also suspect he is in on it. Shut up and accept your fate.

Malcom, is the complainer, worrier. We’re all going to die today.

Chester, out of control, won’t stop pleading for help.

Wanda, innocent. She has a boyfriend at home, love interest.

Michelle, she feels totally positive about someone coming to help them. She’s the one who begins to notice differences.

Nikki. Grunge guitar playing introvert feels she deserves it. This is her fate.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J’s

Terrifying monster:

What I learned: My monster can be handsome and that can double as a mask. The monster can be hidden in plain sight if given the right circumstance. The monster follows rules in the killing or terrifying. The monster may or may not have a reason for the actions. Jaws, hungry shark, Saw: teaching a lesson, It Follows: virus trying to stay alive. The Thing: Alien trying to survive. Can’t be easily killed and usually gives the impression that it survives.

TERROR:

My monster is tall dark and handsome in one scene but is actually a vicious ancient vampire able to change his appearance when necessary. He is actually two people. He poses as the welcoming undertaker, funeral director and the vicious vampire that no one ever sees behind the curtain and is the monster who captured the victims and responsible for draining each person’s blood until they eventually die.

MYSTERY:

Group is trying to figure out where they are, how they got there, why they are there, how or if they can get free. What is the big time clock for, who else is in the dimly lit room with them? After awhile they begin noticing that one victim is missing by the sight of an empty chair. Later each time they return from the wake ceremony there is another newer victim.

FEAR PROVOKING APPEARANCE:

Think Tony Todd from the DESTINATION film series or The Tall Man from the FANTASM film series. My monsters true image is that of an ancient Vampire like in Bram Stoker’s Dracula Gary Oldman.

RULES:

Due to the monster’s motives there is no buying off or negotiating with it. The fact that the group can’t ever see the monster there can be no negotiations on their part. When the group is attending the wake ceremony they believe they are greeted by the Funeral Director, walking to their pew, after filing past the closed casket, when actually they are all still strapped to their chairs in the monster’s basement rendering them unable to move from their pew during the service. Only the person speaking is able to then stand up, go to the front of the room for a eulogy type speech. The speaker then walks down the aisle past the funeral attendant/monster, out the door, never to be seen again. The monster is calm during this whole ceremony as if standing guard by the door as a greeter. When the group awakens in the monster’s basement the person who was speaking is gone and or replaced with a new victim.

MYTHOLOGY: The reason the monster is draining the blood from the group is because the monster’s brother also a vampire, who hated being a vampire decided to commit suicide. The monster gathered up his undead brother’s remains and is trying to bring him back whole.

[Tony Scott]

Film concept

1. A group of people strapped to chairs in a basement.

2.

Monster/Villain: Undertaker/Vampire

Interesting Terror : six people don’t know how or why they are strapped to chairs.

Environment: Basement/Funeral Home wake ceremony.

Victims: Random vulnerable innocent people captured from various places.

3. Fear of the dark

Fear of the unknown

Fear of death

Fear of time

Fear of something terrible happening

4. Concept

Four to five people are trapped in a basement strapped to chairs. They can see each other. Each chair sets almost connected to the wall directly behind it. There are walls surrounding the room on three sides. At the front of the room is a sheer black curtain but they can’t see through it. There is a large time clock hanging from the ceiling in front of the black curtain. The victims can see the clock and hear the buzzer. They can barely see each other because of the chair restrictions

Every hour the clock rings on cue. The captured group of people becomes momentarily unconscious, they don’t realize it initially, only to awaken at a wake ceremony in a funeral parlor. One member of the group is reading a statement about the dearly departed lying in state, closed casket service. When the group wakes up back in the basement still trapped in the chairs they notice that one person from the group is missing or later replacement victims. They finally figure out that they are blacking out but can’t recall why how or until later.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Tony Scott.
• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Tony Scott.

[Tony Scott]

Tony J. Scott

I agree to the terms of this release

[Tony Scott]

Tony J Scott

i have written about 4 scripts, mostly short films

I hope to write better scripts.

I have a BA in Religious Studies. I like to write about Religious type horror to include vampires. I’m a US Army Ranger Veteran, Actor and champion Ballroom Dance Teacher.

Note: I notice now that my horror in progress screenplay has a lot of MYTHICAL scenes. I want to leave that out and hesh out more horror scenes based on the conventions.

• This reply was modified 2 years ago by  Tony Scott.

[Tony Scott]

Hi Claudia

Sorry. I was late posting the assignment and I just saw this.

I think I did it wrong. I wrote too much. I’m trying to correct it.

[Tony Scott]

it’s in her blood line and if she never actually kills or consumes human blood the vampire in her can lay dormant but she’s very ill because of it. If she can kill the matriarch she will never have been born a vampire.

[Tony Scott]

Hi Tully

I’m trying to tie in the years 1863 and 2023. It’s an alternate world where vampires and humans live together.

[Tony Scott]

If you decide to go with the make shift litter idea maybe they keep ending up back at the Mobil home while losing a member or two along the way.

[Tony Scott]

Feedback 1

This is very nicely done. I enjoyed reading the outline. It’s a Really good structured outline. There is nothing that I think is confusing. It seems all questions were answered. The Log line is short and says it all. I’m in Atlanta and THINGAMAJIG was the name of the OLYMPIC MASCOT during the 96 games.

I was surprised that only two characters died, Shad and Grahm, are you going to kill anyone else?

You have terrorized the characters, isolated them, they are threatened with possibility of death, the monster is identified. I like that you included not only hunting the monster but also defending the camp. The shooting star in the end makes it also seem like the monster is extraterrestrial.

Moral statement: They could have fixed the mobile home got in the mobile home and drove off to save themselves but then the monster would still exist and continuing to kill others.

RULES: The Monster seems to kill for food.

There is a distinguishable group of college bound students who put themselves into an isolated situation. They ignore the warning signs or decide to challenge them. I would say that makes them almost like thrill seekers with a death wish.

The Dying pattern consists of two victims plus the monster with the men becoming the hunters and the women are the ones who are scared.

Who is going to experience the horror? I’m not clear who the overall hero is except that it is more of a group hero effort. From the outline there doesn’t seem to be distinguishable character traits as in universal characters. Who is the loner, the whiner, the hero type, the jerk?

5 HORROR PLOT: All three acts are easily identified.

6 HORROR SITUATION: ATTACKED, CHASED, IMPEDING DOOM, MONSTER TRYING TO GET YOU, MONSTET APPROACHING, MENTALLY TORTURED, TWO MISSING FEARED DEAD. MOTIVE IS KNOWN, KILLING FOR FOOD.

ORDER OF DEATHS: SHAD WAS DOING HIS JOB, GRAHM WAS HUNTING THE MONSTER AS PART OF THE GROUP. BOTH ARE LOYAL TO THE GROUP.

7: THEY CHARGE BLINDLY INTO BATTLE BUT USE MOLOTOV COCKTAILS AND SHOTGUNS FOR WEAPONS.

8 MONSTER REVEAL: UNSEEN AT FIRS, WE SEE THE CAMP FROM MONSTER POV, WE THINK THE MONSTER IS AN ALIEN, IT’S FAST AND STRONG AND HUGE, WEAKNESS TO FIRE, IT TRANSFORMS INTO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE IT IS EXTINGUISHED, THE FIRST REVEAL IS THE BATHROOM.

(NOTE, MAYBE THE REST OF THE GROUP CAN BE IN DENIAL AND SUGGEST MAYBE IT WAS JUST A BEAR, KATE BECOMES FURIOUS BECAUSE THEY DON’T BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAW; CONFLICT)

Scene 4

I like how there is a dog involved it adds another point of view.

Scene 5

I think if there is a trail of blood and then Alden finds Shad’s collar could add a SUSPENSE moment.

APPREHENSION: ALDEN FEELS HE’S BEING WATCHED?

DREAD: REALIZING THAT MAYBE SHAD IS DEAD

SCENE 6:

I SEE THE DREAD, GOOD

SCENE 9:

GOOD CREEPY MOMENT SET UP FOR A BATHROOM SCENE.

SCENE 11:

CREEPY: ZOE SOILING HERSELF?

SCENE 14:

RELEASE: VERY GOOD SET UP.

SCENE 15:

SINCE IT’S THE FIRST CAPTURE BY THE MONSTER MAYBE YOU CAN GET MORE HORROR EMOTIONS FROM GRAHMS POV OF HIS OWN CAPTURE?

SCENE 17:

SCARY MOMENT: THE BIG BAT ATTACK

SUGGESTIONS:

Another good suspense moment can happen if one of them decides to try and fix the motorhome after the electrical fire and gets captured.

A conflict moment can occur if some of the group decide they should leave but others decide they should stay and fight and find Gram.

I wonder what would happen if they don’t bury Gram somewhere else near the cave but use a make-shift litter to carry his body out of the woods but the monster begins to pick them off one by one. The lone survivor or two then trace the monster to his cave. They kill the monster and also save the lives of those who have survived.

I wonder what would happen if one member left the group to walk to the nearby town for help and returned, got lost, to find everyone missing? He/she would have to track them and fight the monster alone to save the group.

I think you can pull out a lot more conflicts if you can make the situations more impossible. Maybe fix the mobilhome but when they begin to leave the monster damages the tires and they have to leave on foot. One by one they get captured and when the lone survivor returns without help, he/she has to track the cave and save the group.

I hope this is helpful.

[Tony Scott]

Hi

I don’t have a partner yet.

Do you want to team up or do you already have a partner?

Thanks

[Tony Scott]

HI

Ok, good you got my messages

I’ll start reading yours now.

[Tony Scott]

Hi

Not sure if you got my message.

Do you want to team up or do you already have a partner?

[Tony Scott]

Hi

No have not

[Tony Scott]

Huey J

Yes let’s team up

Thx

[Tony Scott]

I thought the same thing

[Tony Scott]

Lol. I had a dove act

[Tony Scott]

Hi Deborah