[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Module 2 Lesson 8 BW Assignment: Intriguing Patterns

Subject line: Nadine’s Intriguing Patterns
What I learned doing this assignment is the answers are all, already there…

From my Pitch Bible, this is the ONE line I would like to be more intriguing:
“Kuno’s dad, working undercover for the DEA, suspects his partner is in bed with the Cartel and confronts him.”

In rethinking that line, I used ALL of the patterns below:
A. Establish something shocking and point to the terrible things it could mean.

When Kuno’s dad confronted his partner, he did not know it might potentially lead to both his own and his son’s death.

B. Strong statement; question about something underhanded beneath the surface.

Kuno’s dad has long wondered why a certain member of the Cartel is so often part of his partner’s conversation, yet he’s never around when Kuno’s dad is there to meet him.

C. Question that points to hidden agendas, hidden identity, conspiracy, etc.

Kuno’s mom seems to know more than his dad about possible devastating effects on the entire family, which is curious since he’s directly involved and she’s not… or is she?

D. Character 1 (Kuno’s dad), is convinced/worried/wondering that Character 2 (his partner), has started working for the Cartel.

E. But maybe it is all wrong. On the other hand, maybe it’s just the wrong place/wrong time.

F. A Pattern that Leads to Future Consequences. When Kuno’s mom lied to cover up what happened to his dad, she never imagined Kuno may be imprisoned for years.

G. If Kuno keeps asking questions about what happened to his dad, it means he has reason to believe his dad would never kill himself, so why is his mom claiming he did?

H. State the mystery. The real mystery is what happened to Kuno’s dad and why?

I. It should be/could be just an accidental death that got covered up. But murder is even worse.

J. Intense language. Jai wants to know who Kuno’s dad killed to get such a lethal response.

When I discovered a more intriguing version of the above line, I replaced the old one in the TV Pitch Bible with it.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Lesson 7: Investigating Your Show

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject line: Nadine’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation

What I learned doing this assignment is that I had already done much of it and I look forward to discovering even more ways to deepen the mystery.

Do a complete investigation on your TV Pitch Bible to discover more depth, layers, and intrigue.

Starting with your BW Framework and the current draft of the TV Pitch Bible, ASSUME there is something beneath the surface that you absolutely MUST discover.

2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:

Tool 1: Dig: What’s beneath that? In 2nd season, it will be revealed that Jai has had a benefactor (who helped her get out of the military, paid for her education, and helped her set up a storefront practice); and that this benefactor is actually her BIO dad.

Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Kuno discovers that his BIO Dad (who’s married to his mom), impregnated Charlotte (Jai’s mom), then he will assume he and Jai are siblings (they’re not), and that his father was messing around (he didn’t).

Tool 3: Wonder: What if Jai has developed a relationship with her benefactor, believes he’s a good guy, then discovers he’s the (bad) man who raped her mother when her mom was only 12?

Tool 4: Backtrack: How could this have happened? If the rapist found out that his rape victim had a baby; he was able to match their DNA; then, because he was wealthy enough to do so, he set up a trust fund for his illegitimate child (Jai), and over the years secretly pretended to be the kind administrator, when he was really a predator.

Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse? Now that Jai is older and quite attractive, he is haunted by his desire to do to her what he did to her mother.

3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:

I will use TOOLs #1 , #2 , and #5 in my TV Pitch Bible.

I will use TOOLs # 3, and # 4 in Episodes.

4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.

In episode #2 or #3, where we see Jai going through a very rough time in the military, in which she is raped, her BIO father (who was her mother’s rapist, struggles between his rekindled desire and his desire to protect his illegitimate daughter from men like himself.

Post your assignment in the forums at

https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/

Deadline: 2 days

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Episode Descriptions Mod.2 Lesson 5 Page 1 of 3

Subject line: Nadine’s Episode Descriptions What I learned doing this assignment is… ASSIGNMENT:

1. Check the sequence of episodes you did in Lesson 4 and see if it flows well for you. Feel free to change the sequence in any way that you think might be better as you create the full season of episode descriptions.

2. For each episode, go through the event bullet points and organize them in this fashion.

EPISODE #1

Hook/Intrigue: Jai is poor, inner-city, with a loving single mom. Kuno is middle-class with a supportive intact family. Both are tops in their schools and tied for the Regional STEM Scholarship Competition. 


Main Character journey: Both Kuno and Jai are on a mission to save earth and her inhabitants. Kuno is computational. Jai’s a fighter. Both are naive. 


Major Challenge/Conflict: Though they are equally qualified, one must lose the scholarship competition so the other can get it, based on a joint project. 


Action/Reaction: Tragically, Kuno’s dad dies and he refuses to believe it’s suicide. Mom and Jai want truth

Episode Descriptions Mod.2 Lesson 5 Page 2 of 3 too, betraying him in order to protect him. 


Cliffhanger: Mom moves them to a new home. Kuno has a gun to his head. 

EPISODE #2 


Hook/Intrigue: Mom may have won the battle but hopelessness wins the war. 


Main Character journey: Mom insists Kuno go out to meet friends. One is Jai. 


Major Challenge/Conflict: Kuno’s new friends manipulate, then betray him. 


Action/Reaction: Kuno ends up protected, in prison. Jai joins the military, based on guilt, and ends up raped. 


Cliffhanger: Kuno’s terrified, spending first night in prison, with a large, Black cell mate. 


Module 2, Lesson 5 EngagingEpisodeDescriptions Page 6 of 6

EPISODE #3

Hook/Intrigue: To protect him, Kuno’s new cellmate acts like he may attack Kuno. Main Character journey: Kuno sees Jai

Episode Descriptions Mod.2 Lesson 5 Page 3 of 3

and his mom talking and feels betrayed. Major Challenge/ Conflict: Dad’s DEA partner visits Kuno and acts as a protector. Action/Reaction: When Jai’s discharged from the military, she starts law school. Cliffhanger: When Kuno’s protector is killed by a white supremacist, Kuno’s charged

EPISODE #4

Hook/Intrigue: After five years and parole is still denied, Kuno is spirited out of jail Main Character journey: Kuno awakens in ex-offender prog w/Jai as a counselor. Major Challenge/Conflict: Jai explains her betrayal and tells him his mom is dead. Action/Reaction: Kuno and Jai renew their vow to save the earth and earth-dwellers. Cliffhanger: Kuno applies to become a cop and is told his Dad’s partner says no.

EPISODE #5

Hook/Intrigue: Kuno perseveres and Jai sets up a store-front office to help others Main Character journey: Kuno confronts Lionel to get the truth re. Kuno’s dad. Major Challenge/ Conflict: Jai sets up a special grad. night for Kuno, with Smokey. Action/Reaction: Lionel tells them what really happened to both their parents. Cliffhanger: When Kuno hears what happened to Monique he goes after his partner.

✓ Wrote a rough draft of each of the episode descriptions for my first season. Post at https:// http://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Episode List Rough Draft

What I learned doing this assignment is how many possibilities open up with each layer.

Title: THE BURDEN OF HOPE
Writer: NADINE VAUGHAN

Beginning:
Sparks fly when two brilliant HS students are told to use their school’s resources to break a tie for a scholarship, especially when one school is inner-city, poor and the other is upscale. Wisely, they work together, until the latter returns home to find that his beloved father committed suicide.

Season End:
Kuno and Jai both feel traumatized and betrayed, but again they’re told they must work together, now for their freedom. Kuno storms out, leaving Jai vulnerable and alone.

Cliffhanger:
When Kuno bursts into Jai’s room, weapon in hand, he’s startled to see a man run out. In a split second, he knows she’s a victim too. Darting after the attacker, he returns to find the only woman he’s ever cared about, bleeding out, on the floor. END.

Episodes with one sentence explanations:

EPISODE 1: Kuno and Jai meet. Sparks fly. Then he discovers his dad just died.

EPISODE 2: Jai goes after Kuno at his dad’s funeral, acting out mentally and physically. EPISODE 3: Kuno’s mom conspires with Jai to have him imprisoned “for his protection”. EPISODE 4: Kuno’s only 16 and terrified, especially with a large cellmate leering at him. EPISODE 5: Jai and Kuno’s mom, are banished from his sight but someone protects him.

EPISODE 6: Feeling crushed, Jai joins the military as penance. She’s brutally assaulted.

EPISODE 7: An unknown ‘angel’ helps Jai get discharged from the military & into college. EPISODE 8: Some years later, a different unknown helps Kuno get exonerated & freed.

EPISODE 9: Kuno’s sent to ex-offender program. Jai’s his counselor. He reacts furiously. EPISODE 10: Kuno wants to kill her but when someone else tries to, he saves her.

MYSTERY Setup and How Solved:

The big mystery is: What happened to Kuno’s dad? And why? Was it his mom?
By the end, Kuno discovers his mother was only trying to protect him by lying to him about his dad (an undercover DEA agent). She believed the Cartel shot dad and might go after Kuno next. But in prison, they had old friends. So Kuno was protected there until his protector was killed. Then Kuno was exonerated and sent to an ex-offender program

JOURNEY:
Kuno & Jai begin with a passion for each other and for what they hoped to achieve in life. It peaked when Kuno’s protector was killed, he was beaten almost to death, then sent to be counseled by Jai, the one who betrayed him. In the ex-offender program, ultimately he and Jai learned to trust, love, and hope all over again.

LAYERS:

LAYER: Kuno’s father was investigating a dirty cop, for DEA, when he was killed & covered up.

LAYER – Monique was 12 when raped by the Cartel boss. Her baby, Jai was given to Charlotte. LAYER – Monique always feared her rapist would come back to claim ‘his’ child.

LAYER – Charlotte agreed to carry Monique’s baby, Kuno, since the rape left her unable to.

LAYER – Monique allowed her husband, Kuno’s father, to artificially inseminate Charlotte.

LAYER: Kuno and Jai didn’t know ea. other, as 3rd cousins. Lionel’s the granddad for both. LAYER: Kuno’s protector in prison was Lionel’s former lover. They met in Black Panther Party

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Five Seasons.
What I learned doing this assignment is how complicated it can become. But I did it.

Brainstorm to find the arc of the entire journey, from Season One to Five. ✓

KUNO and JAI, two nerdy Black teens who compete in an Intermural Science Fair called FUTURE’S HOPE, are thunderstruck to discover each other is their socio- intellectual equal. But when they’re pulled into a dark world of murder and betrayal, Jai’s betrayal sends Kuno to prison where he barely survives until he’s exonerated. When he’s sent to an ex-offender program and his counselor is JAI, Kuno feels only vindication. He doesn’t know what Jai went through in the military. Finally, they work together and create a new kind of HOPE, for all, with the peace they find in each other.

2. Brainstorm the Stair Step version. ✓
Season 1: Kuno and Jai didn’t know how privileged they were until their lives fell apart.

Season 2: Kuno wants the truth about his father’s death. Jai wants to help but hurts instead. Season 3: In prison, Kuno’s terrified yet strangely protected. In military, Jai’s cruelly attacked.

Season 4: Kuno’s protector is killed and he’s blamed. But an unknown gets him exonerated. Season 5: Kuno and Jai are reunited in hate until finally, they work together for a better future .

3. For each season, brainstorm the Building Blocks. DONE ✓
Title Season 1: “Black in Suburbia”
A. HighConceptormajorhookoftheseason.done✓
B. BigPictureArc/Journey:✓

C. MainConflict:✓
D. D.Mystery/OpenLoops:✓ E. Cliffhanger:✓

I wrote a description of ea. season for the 5 seasons. DONE ✓

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s ready for feedback!

What I learned doing this process is how time-consuming it can be to seriously respond to each item.

I would like Option B, Professional Feedback from SU staff.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Nadine Vaughan DArdenne.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Nadine Vaughan DArdenne.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Creating Irony!
What I learned doing this assignment was different ways of expressing ironic situations

and relationships.

ASSIGNMENT 1: My example show, LOST.

✓ I watched the next episode of Lost and noticed the character irony that showed up.

✓ I saw the irony in Hurley’s ability to approach the dangerous French woman, express his anger and frustration at not understanding the sequence of numbers that keeps showing up, and not get hurt by her. She even seemed to respect his authenticity. On the other hand, “tough guys,” Jack and Sawyer, were unable to accomplish that task even though, based on size and experience, they seemed much more likely to do so.

✓ Situational irony was when the Japanese husband was accused of setting fire to Michael’s raft. Sawyer even beat him up for it. The irony was, not only did he not do it, he actually tried to put out the fire, burning his hands in the process. Another layer of irony was in discovering that the arsonist was actually Michael’s son, Walt.

ASSIGNMENT 2: My Show

✓ I looked back through the previous assignments and found 20 different situations or character components in my story that could go opposite to create irony.

✓ With each, I brainstormed ideas for ways it could go opposite and selected the ones that work well for the show. Below, I share a character and a situational irony idea.

Character Irony ideas:

1- Kuno’s dad has it all. He’s a respected police officer, he has a beautiful wife, and a son who respects him, and with whom he shares fun-filled experiences. One day, for no conceivable reason, Kuno’s Dad commits suicide.
2- The second great irony is that after her husband’s death, Kuno’s mom plots with the daughter of an old friend to set up Kuno so he will go to jail.

Situational Irony Ideas:

1- Kuno has always been a high-achieving nerd, with no history of criminal activity. Yet, at only 16 years of age, he’s sentenced to adult prison for a crime he didn’t commit, based on falsified evidence and testimony.
2- In prison, after a particularly bloody beatdown, by another inmate, Kuno ends up accidentally killing the attacker… right when another old family friend has just convinced a judge to exonerate Kuno.

Post your assignment in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

N’s Big Picture Open Loops S.U. Assignment 3/11/22

Subject line: Nadine’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I learned doing this assignment is although I intuitively include some of these techniques in my writing, it is useful to have a name for them and learn how to write them more effectively.

ASSIGNMENT 1

1. In LOST, the Big Picture open loops, established early in the season, include: Will the crash survivors ever be rescued?
Will they find out what’s causing the attacks and the roars?
Will they discover where the hatch goes?

2. I watched the next episode to see how the open loops are being used to create the need to see future episodes and realized, when someone kidnaps a pregnant girl, then releases her with no memory, the audience wants to know why?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. Using this list to brainstorm big picture open loops for the first season of my TV Series, I used Big Picture Open Loops to find ways to keep the audience captivated.

GOALS:

New goals? When a 12-year-old girl (Monique), is raped, her goal of becoming a great lawyer pales as she figures out how a baby will impact her future.

Goals related to the big picture? The dual leads, Kuno and Jai, are both on a mission to bring greater justice into the world.

Crushed goals? When KUNO (16), is told that his father committed suicide, he sees all as lost.

Competition / conflict around goals? Toward the end, when Kuno and Jai are thrown together and find they share similar goals, they must also figure out how to work together to achieve them.

CONSEQUENCES:

Are they going to be caught? When Kuno’s mom and Jai set him up to be arrested, and don’t tell Kuno why he learns to hate the two people who love him the most.

N’s Big Picture Open Loops S.U. Assignment 3/11/22 2 of 3 Problems created from past actions? Because Kuno acted out after he was told his dad

killed himself, the courts used those incidents to add more time to his sentence.

Are good plans gone wrong? Jai felt so guilty over her part in Kuno’s arrest that she joined the military and did not fight back when she was abused, even raped by a fellow soldier.

SOLVING PROBLEMS:

What is the major problem for this character? Because Kuno does not know the truth about anything that is happening to him, he continues to make poor choices.

What are they trying to solve? Once Kuno is exonerated, he and Jai must find ways to get past their fury in order to pursue their mutual humanitarian goals.

Major change imposed on the character? Both Jai and Kuno realize that their hatred mirrors the hatred of racists and others. Without knowing all the facts, they continue to strikeout

Do previous solutions cause new problems? When Jai joined the military to get away from her guilt, she made her life worse because it was for the wrong reasons.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationships in peril? Kuno’s mom loved him deeply but her actions, without his knowledge, drove a wedge between them.

New relationships forming? As Jai and Kuno learned how similar they had become to those they despised, they changed and developed their relationship differently, too.

Conflict inside relationships? When the moms of both Kuno and Jai discovered how badly their choices had affected their children, they pulled away and tried to learn.

Relationships changing? As the truth starts to come out, regarding the girl who was raped, by whom, and who they became, everyone’s relationships shifted.

DANGER / SURVIVAL / RISKS:

Can they survive X? Can Kuno survive prison and Jai survive the military?

Putting themselves in danger / making dangerous decisions? When Kuno’s mom never told who had raped her, as a child, she placed the lives of all she knew, in danger.

Who else is pulled into their danger? Kuno’s grandfather, his aunt, and Jai.

Internal dangers (drug addiction, need for medicine, inner demons)? Kuno’s father chose to work undercover for the DEA, thus also placing his family’s health in danger.

N’s Big Picture Open Loops S.U. Assignment 3/11/22 3 of 3 2. My top 5-8 Big Picture Open Loops in my pilot are:

1- The story begins with the door being kicked in, an arrest of a Black man, and the rape of a girl by someone who was supposed to be a protector.

2- A hospital scene of a 12-year-old girl giving birth and being asked to decide what she wants to do with her baby.

3- !5 years later, opens to a high school debate team in which a teenage boy falls deeply for an older girl who is his fiercest opponent.

4- A father and his teen son playing at the home of the dad’s partner, followed by a scene when everyone has gone home except the dad and his partner. When the father discovers that his partner is also working for the Cartel, and confronts him, the partner kills the dad. Later, the wife realizing the danger covers it up as a suicide.

5- A memorial service, also at the home of the deceased partner, in which the slain cop’s son, Kuno, has a meltdown.

Post your assignment in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/ Deadline: 3 Days (24 hours for Assignment 1, 48 hours for Assignment 2)

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Subject line: Nadine’s Show Mysteries

What I learned doing this assignment are some important differences between BIG and Small mysteries AND how to apply the journalistic practice of WWWWHW to elevate my script…

I watched the next episode of my example series, LOST, focusing on the mysteries that have been created in that show, noting differences between big picture (plot) mysteries versus the smaller mysteries that do not take us the entire length of the season. The following are questions I came up with.

BIG PICTURE MYSTERIES:

1- What threw the plane off-course and led to the plane crash?

2- Are the survivors alive? Dead? or in some supra-normal place?

3- Why did the French woman try to kill Syed & not go with him?

4- Why are previous survivors trying to kill new crash victims?

SMALLER MYSTERIES:

1- Why the Japanese woman kept her knowledge of English secret.

2- On what charges was Kate handcuffed, while on the plane?

3- Why was Jack reluctant to find his father, for his mother?

4- Who really wrote the letter that Sawyer carries with him?

ASSIGNMENT 2:

I created two mysteries for my show — one that shows up strong in the Pilot. The other that is revealed over time. For each of the following, describe Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.

I created the Shocking Event Mystery, with the WWWW How and W:

Who? Kuno is told his police officer Dad committed suicide

What? Kuno will not believe it and makes others wonder too.

When? Right away, his mom moves him to a new town, pushes him to make friends, but Kuno naively falls in with hoods.

Where? Kuno’s arrested after dropping them at an upscale home

How? He waits inside his mom’s car, as they rat him to cops Why? An unknown person with secrets wants Kuno out of the way

B. The Secret: Who stands to gain from Kuno’s dad’s suicide?

C. The Investigation: It goes nowhere until an old friend of Kuno’s dad takes the lead, against the wishes of Kuno’s mom.

2. The Over Time Mystery is revealed during the course of the movie through Kuno’s suffering in prison, as withheld parts come to light.

A. Cover-up: Those behind what really happened to Kuno’s dad, also set up Kuno, hoping to keep him safe from an unknown danger.

C. Reveals: Unlikely allies (Kuno’s mom, his dad’s old friend, and another), want Kuno in prison. They think they can better protect him thereby keeping him quiet. But they’re wrong.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Big Picture Open Loops

What I learned doing this assignment is although I intuitively include some of these techniques in my writing, it is useful to have a name for them and learn how to write them more effectively.

ASSIGNMENT 1

1. In LOST, the Big Picture open loops, established early in the season, include: Will the crash survivors ever be rescued?
Will they find out what’s causing the attacks and the roars?
Will they discover where the hatch goes?

2. I watched the next episode to see how the open loops are being used to create the need to see future episodes and realized, when someone kidnaps a pregnant girl, then releases her with no memory, the audience wants to know why?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. Using this list to brainstorm big picture open loops for the first season of my TV Series, I used Big Picture Open Loops to find ways to keep the audience captivated.

GOALS:

New goals? When a 12 year-old girl (Monique), is raped, her goal of becoming a great lawyer pales as she figures out how a baby will impact her future.

Goals related to the big picture? The dual leads, Kuno and Jai, are both on a mission to bring greater justice into the world.

Crushed goals? When KUNO (16), is told that his father committed suicide, he sees all as lost.

Competition / conflict around goals? Toward the end, when Kuno and Jai are thrown together and find they share similar goals, they must also figure out how to work together to achieve them.

CONSEQUENCES:

Are they going to be caught? When Kuno’s mom and Jai set him up to be arrested, and don’t tell Kuno why he learns to hate the two people who love him the most.

Nadine’s Big Picture Open LoopSs.U. Assignment 3/11/22 2 of 3 Problems created from past actions? Because Kuno acted out after he was told his dad

killed himself, the courts used those incidents to add more time to his sentence.

Good plans gone wrong? Jai felt so guilty over her part in Kuno’s arrest that she joined the military and did not fight back when she was abused, even raped by a fellow soldier.

SOLVING PROBLEMS:

What is the major problem for this character? Because Kuno does not know the truth about anything that is happening to him, he continues to make poor choices.

What are they trying to solve? Once Kuno is exonerated, he and Jai must find ways to get past their fury in order to pursue their mutual humanitarian goals.

Major change imposed on the character? Both Jai and Kuno realize that their hatred mirrors the hatred of racists and others. Without knowing all the facts, they continue to strikeout

Previous solutions cause new problems? When Jai joined the military to get away from her guilt, she made her life worse because it was for the wrong reasons.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationships in peril? Kuno’s mom loved him deeply but her actions, without his knowledge, drove a wedge between them.

New relationships forming? As Jai and Kuno learned how similar they had become to those they despised, they changed and developed their relationship differently, too.

Conflict inside relationships? When the moms of both Kuno and Jai discovered how badly their choices had affected their children, they pulled away and tried to learn.

Relationships changing? As the truth starts to come out, regarding the girl who was raped, by whom, and who they became, everyone’s relationships shifted.

DANGER / SURVIVAL / RISKS:

Can they survive X? Can Kuno survive prison and Jai survive the military?

Putting themselves in danger / making dangerous decisions? When Kuno’s mom never told who had raped her, as a child, she placed the lives of all she knew, in danger.

Who else is pulled into their danger? Kuno’s grandfather, his aunt, and Jai.

Internal dangers (drug addiction, need for medicine, inner demons)? Kuno’s father chose to work undercover for the DEA, thus also placing his family’s health in danger.

Nadine’s Big Picture Open LoopSs.U. Assignment 3/11/22 3 of 3 2. My top 5-8 Big Picture Open Loops in my pilot are:

1- The story begins with the door being kicked in, an arrest of a Black man, and the rape of a girl by someone who was supposed to be a protector.

2- A hospital scene of a 12-year-old girl giving birth and being asked to decide what she wants to do with her baby.

3- !5 years later, opens to a high school debate team in which a teenage boy falls deeply for an older girl who is his fiercest opponent.

4- A father and his teen son playing at the home of the dad’s partner, followed by a scene when everyone has gone home except the dad and his partner. When the father discovers that his partner is also working for the Cartel, and confronts him, the partner kills the dad. Later, the wife realizing the danger covers it up as a suicide.

5- A memorial service, also at the home of the deceased partner, in which the slain cop’s son, Kuno, has a meltdown.

Post your assignment in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/ Deadline: 3 Days (24 hours for Assignment 1, 48 hours for Assignment 2)

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Plot and Character Layers

What I learned doing this assignment is how much more lies beneath as I look more deeply.

ASSIGNMENT 1: My example Show is: LOST

I watched the LOST’s next episode and noticed how layers showed up in this show (this episode and throughout). Here are some of the layers I found:

SURFACE LAYER: A commercial airplane, Australia to LA, crashes on a tropical Island.

Layer #1 SABOTAGE What caused a 1,000-mile error preventing their ability to get rescued?

Layer #2 CONSPIRACY Syed discovers there are “others” on the island threatening them.

Layer #3 MYSTERY What is creating ominous sounds & attacking people in the woods?

Layer #4 HIDDEN AGENDA Locke, a voyager, finds a hidden hatch/portal & tells no one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ASSIGNMENT 2: My Show, KUNO AND JAI

1. Brainstormed a list of possible PLOT LAYERS – Story(s) beneath the story.

– Major scheme revealed: KUNO’s dad suicides. MONIQUE, his Mom moves Kuno

– Mystery revealed: Because Mom can’t keep him quiet she sets him up for arrest.

– Thought the story was one thing, but it is another: Why would a mother do that?

– Major shift in Meaning: If Kuno’s safer in prison what could have been worse?

– Hidden history: Kuno’s Dad, undercover DEA, was attacked by a bad cop. DEA called it suicide & moved Kuno away, to protect him. Then he went after Cartel.

– Hidden plan: DEA enlisted K’s mom to set up Kuno using Kuno’s old friend, JAI.

– Major betrayal: In prison, Kuno’s under the protection of a powerful Black man until his mom tells Cartel where he is. They kill his protector & Kuno’s beaten almost to death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2. Brainstormed CHARACTER LAYERS, asking who ea. is beneath their outward I.D.?

-Secret identity(s):

1- Kuno’s exonerated with help from an old friend of his dad.

2- Kuno’s sent to ex-offender prog. where the Director knows everything and is a friend of Kuno’s granddad.

3- Kuno’s counselor is his initial betrayer, now ally!

-Character intrigue:

Although Kuno vowed to kill Jai and disown his mom, he now sees they’ve both been trying to save him from an even worse fate.

-Hidden relationships and conspiracies:

Kuno suspects even more conspiracy as his mom, and Jai meet in secret.

-Hidden Character history: Kuno is shocked to hear that his mom was raped at age 12, gave the baby away, and was thereafter unable to bear a child.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3. Here, each Character Layer is made into a possible sequence of reveals, beginning with:

PLOT SURFACE :

Kuno’s life is good at age 16. He’s smart, strong, friendly, and loved by his mom and dad.

Layer 1: SABOTAGE – Instantly, it disappears when his dad suicides and Kuno is set up.

Layer 2: CONSPIRACY – Kuno’s mom/DEA plan to protect him by sending him to jail.

Layer 3: MYSTERY – When the Cartel finds Kuno’s mom, she’s tortured. Reveals Kuno.

Layer 4: HIDDEN AGENDA – Kuno’s dad’s powerful friends work to make him safer.

Layer 5: Kuno’s sent to an ex-offender program, finds Jai is his Mom’s baby too.

CHARACTER SURFACE:

Kuno refuses to believe his dad committed suicide & he melts down, yelling, accusing.

Layer 1: Mom moves Kuno to Atlanta, sets him up for robbery charge, sends him to prison.

Layer 2: In prison, Kuno hears his dad went after Cartel & now he has a powerful protector

Layer 3: Cartel tracks down Kuno’s mom. She reveals his location. They kill the protector.

Layer 4: Old friends of Kuno’s dad pull strings, get him in ex-offender Prog. life changes

Layer 5: At the program, Kuno learns why the setup. He & Jai become warriors for justice.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Show Mysteries

What I learned doing this assignment are some important differences between BIG and Small mysteries AND how to apply the journalistic practice of WWWWHW to elevate my script…

ASSIGNMENT 1:

I watched the next episode of my example series, LOST, focusing on the mysteries that have been created in that show, noting differences between big picture (plot) mysteries versus the smaller mysteries that do not take us the entire length of the season. The following are questions I came up with.

BIG PICTURE MYSTERIES:

1- What threw the plane off-course and led to the plane crash?

2- Are the survivors alive? Dead? or in some supra-normal place?

3- Why did the French woman try to kill Syed & not go with him?

4- Why are previous survivors trying to kill new crash victims?

SMALLER MYSTERIES:

1- Why the Japanese woman keeps her knowledge of English secret.

2- On what charges was Kate handcuffed, while on the plane?

3- Why was Jack reluctant to find his father, for his mother?

4- Who really wrote the letter that Sawyer carries with him?

ASSIGNMENT 2:

I created two mysteries for my show — one that shows up strong in the Pilot. The other is revealed over time. For each of the following, describe Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why.

I created the Shocking Event Mystery, with the WWWW How and W:

Who? Kuno is told his police officer Dad committed suicide

What? Kuno will not believe it and makes others wonder too.

When? Right away, his mom moves him to a new town, pushes him to make friends, but Kuno naively falls in with hoods.

Where? Kuno’s arrested after dropping them at an upscale home

How? He waits inside his mom’s car, as they rat him to cops Why? An unknown person with secrets wants Kuno out of the way

B. The Secret: Who stands to gain from Kuno’s dad’s suicide?

C. The Investigation: It goes nowhere until an old friend of Kuno’s dad takes the lead, against the wishes of Kuno’s mom.

2. The Over Time Mystery is revealed during the course of the movie through Kuno’s suffering in prison, as withheld parts come to light.

A. Cover-up: Those behind what really happened to Kuno’s dad, also set up Kuno, hoping to keep him safe from an unknown danger.

C. Reveals: Unlikely allies (Kuno’s mom, his dad’s old friend, and another), want Kuno in prison. They think they can better protect him thereby keeping him quiet. But they’re wrong.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s Show Empathy/Distress

What I learned doing this assignment is the difference between a Big Picture or a detail-oriented cause of empathy/distress.

ASSIGNMENT 1: When I watched LOST for the Empathy/Distress that shows up in this episode, I saw a lot of empathy for the pregnant girl and for the woman whose husband had disappeared in the crash. I did not see much empathy for Charlie, Syed, Jack, or Kate even though they were otherwise likable characters.

I also noticed a difference between the Big Picture examples of empathy/distress and the detail-oriented Empathy/Distress. The Big Picture Empathy/Distress could be seen in Jack’s efforts to get people away from the beach and to a place with water and food and how the Big Picture issues had an impact across multiple episodes. Whereas, an example of a detail-oriented empathy/distress could be seen in the Japanese wife’s secret about knowing English.

ASSIGNMENT 2: I made a list of BIG PICTURE difficult situations and decisions the characters could make that led to the main conflicts of this series. They include Jack’s efforts to protect the others; Charlie’s use of narcotics that may be needed for others’ pain; Sawyer’s power grab on everything that shows up; Kate as a potential killer of people on the island, should a situation arise.

The following are examples of each of the following:

A. Undeserved misfortune: The pregnant girl is kidnapped and her baby stolen from her because “others” on the island are conducting an experiment.
B. External Character conflicts Jack and Sawyer; Sawyer and Syed; Walt’s dad and the Japanese husband. Unnecessary conflicts cause more stress.
C. Plot intruding on life: Discovering they are not alone on the island, that there is more than one group of others, and that the “others” are potentially lethal.
D. Moral dilemmas: Charlie must stop using but to do so will cause him pain; The bald guy is withholding his history of being in a wheelchair, even though he has become the main hunter for food. These omissions cause unnecessary risk to others.
E. Forced decisions they’d never make: After Syed tortured Sawyer, he left the group because he felt so much shame.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s Show Relationship Map

What I learned doing this assignment is a deeper experience of the characters’ relationships in a well-written show.

I also learned that even when the technology does not allow me to present assignments as envisioned, I am still able to complete the assignments, until the technology is corrected (eg., after numerous attempts, I was unable to download the Character Relationship Chart).

ASSIGNMENT 1:

I watched a LOST episode and focused on ONE of the main characters (Jack), and how he interacts with others. I discovered how I can create a Relationship Map where I can enter data for any lead character and see more clearly their relationship with others.

Jack’s relationship with three others:

JACK – KATE – SAWYER

Surface:

With Kate, has a respectful friendship. With Sawyer, expresses competition and power.

Common Ground:

With Kate, both are brave, adventurous. With Sawyer, predictable as Alpha males.

Conflict:

With Kate, he doesn’t trust her. Jack believes Sawyer’s just a user.

History:

With Kate, he appreciates that she helped tend his deep cut. Jack sees Sawyer as always benefitting from others’ pain.

Subtext:

With Kate, he likes but can’t love her. With Sawyer, Jack needs him to help so all will survive.

Relationship Arc:

With Kate, went from seeing each other as allies to not trusting each other With Sawyer, Jack went from seeing him as sleazy to seeing other’s strengths.

ASSIGNMENT :

I created a Relationship Map for 3 of the lead characters in my script, KUNO and JAI, and completed a Character Map for each.

KUNO – JAI- CHARLOTTE

Surface:

Kuno will work w/ Jai to get to the truth. He’s puzzled why Charlotte helps him.

Common Ground:

Kuno and Jai are both on a mission. Regarding Charlotte, she’s related to him.

Conflict:

Kuno is bitter that Jai set him up and he went to prison. Kuno respects Charlotte

History:

Kuno and Jai were on opposite teams in a school competition. Kuno’s history with Charlotte is a big secret.

Subtext:

Both Kuno and Jai are attracted to ea. other. With Charlotte, he feels a deeper connection.

Relationship Arc:

Kuno and Jai went from competitor – to betrayer – to partner. With Charlotte, they went from strangers to her being his mentor, to bonding as mother and son.

NOTE: I was finally able to download four “TV Relationship charts” on which I entered the relational information between KUNO, JAI, CHARLOTTE, and LIONEL. However, I was unable to copy these * onto this forum (*my KUNO AND JAI screenplay). If someone needs to see them, please email me and I will send them as a PDF via email.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Nadine Vaughan DArdenne.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s Intriguing Characters

What I learned is a whole lot more about my characters and the importance of creating a timeline for all the things that happen to them.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

In LOST, these are some of the places I saw Character Intrigue.

1) When Jack was confronted by his mother (in flashback) and told “Bring your father home.” But when Jack found him, he was dead and drunk in a back alley.

2) Kate’s intriguing scene was (in flashback) when she left her job for the old farmer and discovered a bounty hunter who was tailing them, pursuing them so recklessly that he caused the old man’s death.

3) Apparently Kate sees through Sawyer’s scams with vulnerable women and backs him away. Nevertheless, he gets Kate to kiss him for the cost of an asthma inhalant med for the pregnant girl.

2. Ways Character Intrigue is being used to create the need to see more episodes:

1) Based on the obvious wealth and status of Jack’s family, one wonders why Jack’s dad chooses to kill himself with booze.

2) We wonder why Kate was in handcuffs on the plane and she finally agrees to tell Jack. Then, when he changes his mind about hearing it, the need to see more is there.

3) During a flashback, when Sawyer is suddenly unable to take a couple’s money, he had just looked at their little boy. Later we discover Jack had a childhood memory of when his father similarly destroyed a family.

ASSIGNMENT 2

For Kuno and JAI, (your Inner Circle characters), fill in any Intrigue items that apply.

Character Name and Role:

Kuno is a Black kid who was told his father committed suicide. He is determined to prove he didn’t. Jai, a smart, pretty girl is drawn to Kuno but everybody seems to want to keep them apart.

Hidden agendas:

Following his Dad’s death, when he and his mom moved to a new town, Kuno presented himself as street smart when he was really a nerd. And because his mom wanted Kuno to stay away from Jai, she told the cops Kuno was trouble. Both of their plans backfired when he ended up in prison.

Jai also had a hidden agenda in that, because she believed Kuno was a street kid, she acted like one too. But when she was caught up in a crime and told: “Join the military or go to prison” (like Kuno), she joined. He didn’t have a choice.

Competition:

When Kuno first met Jai, they were at a highly competitive spelling bee and represented their respective schools. When they met again, a few years later, Kuno and his mom were living in a new town and Jai was a member of a group of street thugs; the ones who set Kuno up for a fall.

Conspiracies:

The big conspiracy was one in which a dirty cop (Andrew White) had shot Kuno’s dad, and believing he (Harold) was dead, Andrew fled the scene. However, Kuno’s mom (Monique), and Kuno’s granddad (Lionel), witnessed the shooting and decided to make it look like a suicide.

That way, the cop and the violent gang would not go after Kuno’s family; Lionel could get Harold into witness protection; the FBI would be able to take down the dirty cop and the gang at trial.

Meanwhile, Lionel, who was a wealthy, powerful man, arranged for Kuno to go to prison, where members of Lionel’s old organization could keep an eye on him. The plan was, once Kuno’s dad (Harold), had safely testified against the dirty cop and gang members, Kuno would be released and reunited with his dad. That backfired too when Kuno ended up causing the death of an inmate.

Secrets:

A big secret was that the dirty cop (Andrew), had raped Monique when she was only 14, so she gave the baby to her older, unmarried cousin, Charlotte. The baby was Jai.

Monique’s and Charlotte’s agreement was if Charlotte ever got pregnant, she would give her baby to Monique to raise. It happened. Monique raised Kuno. And every time Kuno and Monique got together, the two women tried to break them up… even though they were third cousins.

Deception:

Both Monique and Charlotte used deception to keep their secrets. But when Kuno and Jai kept finding each other, they had to make a decision.

Wound:

Monique’s wound was from being raped by the man who eventually became her husband’s partner in the police department. Kuno’s wound was his dad’s suicide.

Secret Identity:

Lionel’s secret identity was as the founder of the Black Panther Party. Kuno’s secret identity was that he was brilliant in STEM and wise beyond his years.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s LOST, 5 Star Model

What I learned was how in-depth a writer must go to keep viewers hooked and wanting more.

1. I picked a Binge-Worthy show (LOST), from Hal’s list and watched the first episode, making a light outline of the episodes. Done ✓

2. From that, I made a list of the 5 Star Points for that show.

1) Big Picture Hooks ✓ The big hook of this show is that a plane, loaded with passengers, crashes on a deserted island, but rescuers believe they are a thousand miles away. <div>

2) Amazing and Intriguing Character ✓ The main characters are Jack, Kate, Syed, Charley. What makes them intriguing and interesting is that who they were before they crashed is in stark contrast to who they are now, on this island.

3)Empathy / Distress ✓ The situation that causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this character (Jack) is that because he’s a doctor and ran around helping people, they expect him to continue to help by telling them what to do… even though he too, is suffering.

4) Layers / Open Loops ✓ Some of the questions that are created by the first episode, that can only be answered by watching the entire season, include “Will they survive if they never get rescued?” “Is Kate truly a criminal?” Will Charley be able to quit drugs, cold-turkey?”

5) Inviting Obsession ✓ This pilot creates the need to see every episode because the more we see of the characters, the more we care about them and want to see them succeed.

3. I watched the same 1st episode A SECOND TIME while looking at my Five Star Point analysis to see beyond the obvious answers and I discovered some! I also posted my assignments in the forums (although it’s not at http://ScreenwritingU.com/forums), and signed the “Confidentiality Agreement.”

</div>

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Subject line: Nadine’s Engaging Main Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is how interesting I can choose to make my characters.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

I watched the next episode of LOST to see any places the lead characters might fit this model. Kate is one. Sawyer is another and Syed is a third.

The name and Engaging Profile for at least one of the characters is Kate:

Kate seems genuinely caring and helps other crash victims with no hesitation. Yet, there is evidence that, while on the plane, she was a prisoner and her flashbacks reveal her desperation as she tried to escape the man who brought her in.

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Do the process with your show: KUNO AND JAI.

The journey of my screenplay shows how KUNO and JAI join together, to find the truth. But not at first. It begins when Kuno, an engaging and gifted Black teen, finds out his father committed suicide.

He refuses to believe it and insists on finding out what really happened. His mom seems scared and says they’re moving to a new town. Kuno ends up at a bar, where he meets Jai. She’s a bar-tender who ends up kicking him out for rough-housing.

His mom’s working the night shift when she gets an emergency call at work. As she hears what happened, she sees her son, Kuno, being rolled in. Someone tells her Kuno got into a fight, was severely injured, and now he’s in a coma.

While she’s moving them to their new town, Kuno’s unconscious and having visions of what really happened to his father. It wasn’t suicide. He awakens with no idea where he is or how long he’s been there.

Within days, he ends up arrested for a crime he did not commit, and sent to adult prison for 5 years.

With Kuno living his worst nightmare, Jai’s life is just as jolting. She’s naturally attractive, and when she joins the military, she suffers for it. In many ways, Jai’s life parallels Kuno’s, including with life and death situations.

However, while Kuno ends up in prison, followed by exoneration, her prison is the military, after which she’s given a full-ride to a top-rated Black College.

It takes five years before KUNO is exonerated, even when helped by an old friend of his dad. But when he shows up at an ex-offender program, he discovers a beautiful, sad, ex-soldier. His new counselor is Jai. The only person he trusts.

2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show? KUNO and JAI.

3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.

A. Role in the show: KUNO and JAI are partners on a mission to find truth.

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: After discovering similarities in what happened to them, they take on the personas of their names. KUNO becomes a wise counselor. JAI is already a warrior. Together, they become folk heroes.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? Jai’s father was an original member of the Black Panther Party and now the Director of a large corporation. Kuno has always been obsessed with how the Panthers came to power.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? Because Jai is Kuno’s counselor, she should not get involved with him. He discovers hacking has great rewards.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Kuno finds out who was responsible for what happened to his dad. Jai comes up with a way to prevent it from ever happening again.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care? Kuno and Jai are two innocents who are thrown into a world of hurt. Yet, somehow, they continue to strengthen what’s always been inside, even as they strategize what’s next.

Posted my assignment in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/forums/

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s Three Circles of Characters

What I learned doing this assignment is how much fun it is to use this model in creating a new series

After watching the next episode of LOST, I fit the characters into these three circles:

Main Characters Circle

Jack, Kate, Hurley, Charlie, Sawyer, Syed

B. Connected Circle:

John Locke, Japanese ♀︎♂︎, Walt and his dad, wealthy siblings

C. Environment Circle:

Crash victims, Plane Captain, Vincent the dog, Monster

Give us a quick list for each circle.

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. I created three circles of characters for my show, (KUNO and JAI).

A. Main Characters Circle:

Kuno, Jai, Stacy, Harold

B. Connected Circle:

Bad cops, Harold’s exec. asst., Kuno’s Mom and Deceased dad, Jai’s mom, Stacy’s funding source.

C. Environment Circle:

The police force, Oakland organization, a prisoner who attacks Kuno, other prisoners, extras on street.

2. Give us a one-sentence description of each of the Main Characters.

Kuno- His name means Wise counselor and he’s always been a gifted… child. But as a teen, when his dad commits suicide and he’s falsely accused of a crime and imprisoned, he almost loses hope.

Jai- Her name means fighter. But when she’s given a break after she actually committed the crime Kuno was charged with, she can’t deal with the guilt and seeks him out.

Stacy is a woman who appears in the lives of both Kuno and Jai. Both later seek her out to help them find the truth. She has a past she won’t speak of.

Harold has achieved more than most people can even dream of. But somehow he’s become connected with helping Kuno and Jai in their big mystery.

4. Posted in the forums at https://www.screenwritingclasses.com/courses

End of Nadine’s 3 circles of Characters

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Nadine’s Assignment #1: What makes a scriopt Bingeworthy?

What I learned in this assignment was about what is a Binge-worthy show, including the 5 Stars

ASSIGNMENT #1:

1. I picked LOST, as my EXAMPLE SHOW and watched the first episode. I made a light outline of the episode. (Just the beats and anything that seems important to you). Done ✓

2. From that, I made a list of the 5 Star Points for that show, as follows:

Big Picture Hooks

<div>

The big hook of this show is that a commercial plane crashed on a deserted island, about 1000 miles off course, so they are unlikely to be found.

<div>

An amazing and Intriguing Character is Jack, a doctor who apparently has an alcohol problem. However, he seems to be a natural leader and saves lives.

What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting is that, as the audience gets to know more about them, we feel Empathy and Distress.</div>

<div>
One situation that causes us to feel both empathy and distress for this character is found in the Layers and Open Loops that are being revealed.</div><div>

The questions created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season (and invite Obsession), are “Will the survivors be rescued?” “Will Kate be found out?” And if so, “what will happen to her?”</div><div>

How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode? By offering up tempting tidbits of information including the presence of a gun, handcuffs, an abusive Japanese husband, what will happen to Charlie when his drugs run out?” etc. ✓

3. I watched the same first episode A SECOND TIME while looking at my 5 Star Point analysis. and was able to see beyond the obvious answers.

</div></div>

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

1. My pen name is Nadine Vaughan. My married name adds D’Ardenne to it.

2. I have written 4 scripts and two treatments.

3. What I hope to get out of this class is an intriguing, saleable series.

4. Depending on who you ask, there are many unique, strange or unusual things about me. ONe of them is when I traveled up the Amazon River, on an old wooden boat, and trekked deep into the jungle. There I met a medicine woman who wanted my sun hat. Without speaking each other’s language, I traded it for the poison dart blower gun she was holding.

I look forward to working with you all!

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

My name is Nadine Vaughan,

I agree to the terms of this release form

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Diana, I feel the same way… great to see you here.

[Nadine Vaughan DArdenne]

Thank you Kimberly, I look forward to working with you…