Nancy Meyer
Forum Replies Created
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Module #4 Lesson 8 Intriguing Moments:
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
Act 1:
Hidden Agenda: Freya acts lost when she follows her boss into restroom. She is there to advance her career.
Mystery: Media mogul has killed himself at his own birthday party. Why?
Hidden Identity: Freya is a cheater, dives into career to avoid the truth – she doesn’t know if she loves husband/wants a family.
Hidden Identity: Noah believes he overheard “treasure seekers” making plans to visit island/dig up buried money. They are actually IRS investigators.
Intrigue: Why is Freya drawn to this assignment and willing to jeopardize marriage for it?
Secret: Freya was pregnant with someone else’s baby.
Mystery: What is the story behind Lisbeth’s murder and why wasn’t it ever solved?
Act 2:
Covert Agenda: Freya will use the assignment/trip to launch her into serious journalism – by uncovering the mystery about Lisbeth.
Secret: She was abandoned as a child, feels abandoned when left alone. She is also deathly afraid of the water. This is a residual past life wound when she drowned as Lisbeth.
Scheme: Noah stalks Freya to scare her off the island – he believes she could tell people where he’s hiding.
Intrigue: Is she alone on the island? Is someone stalking her, or is she struggling with her own reality?
Mystery: Why was Lisbeth’s estate left abandoned after her death?
Hidden Identity: When Noah confronts Freya he hides who he really is (the caretaker of the estate that witnessed the murder and has been in hiding ever since, he’s a marked fugitive). Pretends to be a new caretaker.
Act 3:
Hidden Identity: Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth.
Secret: Noah sent the postcards from the island over the years to see if he could prove she was Lisbeth.
Intrigue: Will Noah let Freya free?
Cover-up: Freya discovers that her boss covered up the details of Lisbeth’s death, and she has the power to reveal the truth/destroy him and family.
Act 4:
Intrigue: Will Freya & Noah survive the storm?
Covert Agenda: Freya plans to blackmail her boss to confess.
Mystery: Where did Noah disappear to?
Mystery: Is Freya in time to save her marriage?
Hidden Identity: Noah is a soul that needed forgiveness from Freya before her could pass over.
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Module Lesson #7
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that identifying emotion in advance will make characters, as well as their actions more intriguing.
Act 1:
Wound: Freya looks across the glamor and wealth at the magazine christmas party. In her moment of standing by the door, several guests come in and hand her their coats. She’s insignificant.
Moral Issues: Freya smiles at her husband and follows her boss into the men’s room. Locks the door, seduces him. As he finishes, she regards herself in the mirror-preparing. When he exits the stall, she seduces him.
Distress/guilt: Freya’s confronted by her husband, how could he ever understand that she did what she did because she’s lost? Or that she doesn’t truly love him the way he should? She can only stand, speechless in her shame. She knows she’s hurting him but she can’t help it.
Wound/Emotional Dilemma: This triggers her wound of abandonment/rejection; she hits him, then kisses him, tries to undress him. This triggers pity from her husband – he pushes her away.
Courage: Freya stares at the boat that will ferry her to the island and she is frozen, can’t move. Boards, clings to side, struggles to film her first video with shaking hands.
Act 2:
Anger/frustration: ** Freya struggles with having spotty internet, living so close to water, no water pressure in the cottage, etc. She can’t do the work she’s meant to do. Freaks out.
Surprise: Noah confronts Freya at the abandoned estate, she thought she was alone.
<div>Shock: Freya discovers who she really is, Lisbeth in a past life
Act 3:
Bonding: Befriends Noah, uses him for info. There is an unexplainable soul connection between them.
Excitement: Freya convinces Noah that they should work together to find the missing money and infiltrate the media mogul and son as a means of justice.
Fear: Deadly storm is coming, they need to leave the island, she’s afraid for her life.
Act 4:
Fear: Deeply afraid of water, Freya makes her escape with Noah to the mainland – she’s deeply afraid they will not survive the storm.
Desperation/surprise: She fights to get her husband back. Discovers Noah was never alive in the first place. Montage of scenes where it is obvious Noah was a spirit all along.
Courage: Freya sacrifices her job/career to release the story a about her boss, the murders and even Noah.
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Nancy’s Reveals.
It seems I have several repetitive beats in the outline now, although that is because I am still working on the order of certain things. It will all iron out as I move along.
Act 1: Freya’s search for her life’s purpose sends her fleeing home to an uninhabited island.
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage.
Set-up: At her holiday christmas party, Freya corners her boss in the bathroom, seduces him.
Reveal: Freya is in a “platonic” marriage.
Deeper Layer: Freya escapes to give herself time to think… What’s her purpose? Is her husband her soulmate?
Freya PJ1: Still reeling from a miscarriage and her failure to commit to her husband/marriage, Freya fights with her husband at a holiday christmas party for work. Falls back to the old pattern of work to fill her void.
Action Now: corners her boss at office party, then uses sex to manipulate
Action Future: Threatens to reveal encounter w/boss to get a meaningful story
** Freya is interviewed for a story about the death of her media mogul boss. Story reference’s his island and the sordid history of “murder”.
Establish she is a city girl, glued to her phone, uncomfortable with quiet.
Action Now: shuts down when confronted by husband, sobs, opens computer, writes madly
Action Future: ?
Set-up: In the middle of an argument with her husband, Freya has flashbacks of an unhappy childhood, she doesn’t want a family.
** Freya reveals (in therapy) that she is relieved that she is no longer pregnant
Reveal: Freya is not unhappy about the miscarriage, she wasn’t ready – unsure the baby belongs to her husband.
Action Now: She walls up, speaks without emotion, curls into a ball on therapist’s couch
Inciting Incident: Husband gives her an ultimatum, commit to relationship or he’ll leave her.
Action Now: She tries to change his mind with sex, but he denies her
** Freya PJ2: Freya is passed over for a big assignment
Action Now: She threatens to reveal her boss’s indiscretions
Freya PJ3: Freya meets boss to pitch for a more fulfilling story, but is refused.
** Townspeople discuss the future of the island now that media mogul boss owner is dead. Express hopes that tourism will resume
Noah AJ1: While in town, Noah sees a picture of Freya (when interviewed), she’s wearing the one of a kind amulet that once belonged to Lisbeth. He also overhears “treasure hunters” discussing the presence of fortune hidden on the island he is protecting.
Set-up: Noah overhears two men at the village bar discussing a raid on the island
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Reveal: Media mogul has buried millions of dollars on property – (the men aren’t treasure hunters, they are investigators for IRS).
Action Now: Noah Slinks around the bar/village, stays in shadows, face down
Action Now: He knocks over a treasure hunter’s drink, all over map of grounds
(Noah AJ2: Noah sends an old travel brochure to Freya’s address.)
Deeper Layer: Noah recognizes Freya as the reincarnation of his past love, Lisbeth and hopes to draw her to the island to be sure.
Freya PJ4: Freya gets an opportunity to write a series of travel articles/blogs about an uninhabited island (once a famous tourism site until the death of Lisbeth, 30 years prior but Freya does not know this yet.)
** Establish Freya is a city slicker with zero skills for living alone on deserted island
** Establish Freya/husbands relationship based on friendship, now hanging on thread
Freya PJ5: Freya tells her husband she’s leaving for a career opportunity. Her husband gives her one week to return, or he leaves. “If you want to be taken seriously as a writer, you need to start acting like someone people can take seriously.”
Action Now: once again tries to use sex as a salve, he stops her
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Turning Point 1: As she’s ferried to island, Freya learns about the legend of the island, she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery.
Action Now: She clings to the side of the boat as they ride (fear). Selfies, takes tons of pictures, struggles to keep calm exterior composure
** There is no indication that a caretaker lives on the island.
** Noah watches her disembark from the shadows.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Action Now: Freya ask ridiculous questions, like daily housekeeping, turns her nose up at the rustic conditions. Scrambles around the island to find bars on her phone. When it’s at the edge of the water, she nearly has a panic attack.
Action Later: She overcomes her fear with deep breaths when she has to go back on the water to escape the island
Set-up: On the ferry from the mainland to island, villager recounts the covered up cold case of Lisbeth’s death.
Reveal: Media Mogul is the owner of the island and has been preventing visitors for the last 30 years.
Act 2: Freya dives into her assignment, but digs deeper into exploring the cold case. Through Noah, Freya reviews her errors of the past/in dreams? through hypnosis?
** Freya struggles with having spotty internet, living so close to water, no water pressure in the cottage, etc.
** Freya falls into depression, questions her abilities to write, stay on island
** Freya fights with husband from stress and his “I told you so attitude”
** Noah wears “caretaker” clothing
** The dreams Freya has about her past are so life like, audience questions whether they are dreams or Freya’s reality
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Action Now: After the dreams, she curls up in a ball, afraid
Noah AJ3: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before she learns the truth > who she is and the truth about the murder
Freya PJ6: As Freya stumbles about adjusting to being alone/non-city life, a series of events (created by Noah) occur and she begins to question her reality.
Action Now: She freaks out with her editor and therapist on the phone, acts far from someone who can be taken seriously.
Set-up: In an intense therapy session, Freya and the therapist discuss that her dreams are manifestations of Freya’s fears.
Deeper Layer: Freya has nightly dreams that continue to build clues to the truth > she is the reincarnation of Lisbeth.
** possible beat here in flashback of the home, lived in and in its heyday
** Noah keeps protective watch over something that is buried beneath the house
Freya PJ7: Freya discovers the deserted home that once belonged to Lisbeth and Lars. She breaks in. turns her nose up at the dust.
Noah AJ 4: Noah stalks Freya as she explores the house.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Freya learns the truth about Lisbeth’s death, she uncovers the stories Noah has been collecting. Noah confronts Freya in the house, lies to her about who he is.
Action Now: Instead of being afraid, Freya asks a zillion questions – do you live here? How do you get here? Are you a ghost? To which he replies, do I look like a ghost to you?
Set-up: Freya ransacks the house for clues, she finds a hidden tunnel under the house. Noah sneaks up behind her.
Reveal: Noah is protecting the land/house from treasure hunters.
Set-up: Noah describes/shares details of the night of Lisbeth’s death, elements that match the dreams Freya has been having.
Reveal: Freya was Lisbeth in an earlier life – audience knows but she does not.
Noah AJ 5: Noah tells her to leave the island – for her safety.
Action Now: Until now, he’d been afraid to get too close… he approaches her, reaches for the amulet she wears around her neck.
** snippets of weather reports in the background days before Freya arrives on island
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Set-up: ?? Flashback of her reckless college life with men, where her friend (current husband) always comes to her rescue.
Reveal: Freya was abandoned as a baby, found in the dumpster, does not feel worthy of love – her wound – and therefore she keeps searching for her soulmate & soul purpose.
Act 3: Freya digs in. But a deadly storm is headed their way and she can’t leave. Through Noah, Freya reviews her errors of the present/what she is not seeing,
Action Now: Packs bags, frantically tries to get someone on the phone.
Freya PJ8: Freya begins piecing together why Lisbeth was murdered and by who.
Set-up: Noah describes/shares details of the night of Lisbeth’s death, elements that match the dreams Freya has been having.
Reveal: Freya was Lisbeth in an earlier life – audience knows but she does not.
Discovery: As Freya gains his trust, he shares the details of Lisbeth’s death. These details match what Freya has been dreaming. Freya shares her dreams with Noah, they match what she has learned about Lisbeth’s death. – the face of her killer has not yet been revealed.
Set-up: Lisbeth’s amulet washed away the night she died, years later it washes to shore, found by a family who sells it at a NYC flea market. Freya is inexplicably drawn to it, and has worn it ever since.
Reveal: Freya is wearing the amulet that belonged to Lisbeth. Noah sees it and confirms his beliefs.
** to rid dreams, Freya undergoes past-life regression therapy
Freya PJ 9: Befriends Noah, uses him for info. There is an unexplainable soul connection between them.
** Freya pitches the new story to her boss, indicating this investigative piece will make her career. She emails notes to boss.
** Husband gives final ultimatum to Freya to return home in 2 days
Noah AJ7: Forces Freya to delete her notes, he doesn’t want her to complete the story because then he would leave her >> she is his love from the past.
** a previous beat where Freya attempts to get closer to water, tinker with a defunct boat left on land
Freya has another dream, this time the face of her killer is revealed, it’s Noah.
Reveal: Freya’s dreams aren’t dreams, they are memories from the past – where Lisbeth drowns.
Freya PJ10: Afraid for her life, Freya tries to escape. She’s hit from behind.
Turning Point 3: Freya wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door. Her story, and semblance of a shot of a story that could launch her career, is shattered.
Set-up: Noah traps Freya, ties her to bed.
Set-up: Noah recounts the night of Lisbeth’s with such precision, Freya knows he was there.
Reveal: Lisbeth’s husband put a hit out on her, went sideways. Freya’s boss is Lisbeth’s husband.
Action Now: Freya walls up, can’t speak. “My followers will wonder why I haven’t posted yet.”
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Deeper Layer: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth… in case her memory will implicate him.
** internet is out, landlines are out, no electricity – Freya can’t reach husband to ask him to wait
Act 4: A deadly storm is approaching the island, no one is able to come rescue Freya. She has to use a different tact, convincing Noah to help her escape. Freya sees herself lonely, without husband in the future
Action Now: Freya uses her sexuality to manipulate Noah, he won’t let her touch him. “No.”
Freya PJ 11: Freya convinces Noah that Lisbeth loved him, and so does she. Attempts to win him over. Uses investigative skills to learn more about the real story of why Lisbeth was killed.
Reveal/discovery: (Lisbeth’s husband hired killers, and framed Noah/Caretaker for the murder so that he could claim ownership to the family fortune and money buried in the basement of the family home).
Reveal: Lisbeth’s husband put a hit out on her, went sideways. Freya’s boss is Lisbeth’s husband.
Set-up: Freya uses her sexuality to convince Noah to leave the island. They have an inexplicable connection when they kiss.
Reveal: Freya realizes who Noah is, and now she will manipulate him to save her life. Noah was Lisbeth’s killer.
4th Act Climax: Lisbeth & Noah set out for the mainland together. Noah realizes Freya knows the truth about the murders. He confesses and she captures it all on recording/phone call to ?boss?authorities
Noah tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Set-up: They head to the mainland together, Freya convinces Noah that she is Lisbeth and that she forgives him for her accidental death. When he discovers she still plans to turn in her story, they wrestle and she goes overboard.
Reveal: Freya’s plan is to reveal the truth about Lisbeth and lead the authorities to the buried money.
Set-up: Freya finds her will to survive, wakes up in hospital. No sign of Noah.
Reveal: Freya sees Noah’s picture in an old obituary, 30 years earlier. He was a spirit all along.
Set-up: (when she sees a picture of Lisbeth’s husband from 30 years ago, she recognizes him as her boss, the son of the media mogul.
Reveal: She releases her story that will incriminate the media mogul and his son for money laundering and tax fraud. She’s found her purpose and now puts her career aside to live a happy life with her existing husband.
Noah AJ8: As a spirit, Noah crosses over fulfilling his purpose to help Freya find the will to live.
Resolution: Freya returns to her home as a changed woman. She has the will to live, and fights to be with her husband, takes focus off her career.
She fights to get her husband back. Discovers Noah was never alive in the first place. Montage of scenes where it is obvious Noah was a spirit all along.
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Module 4: Lesson #5
Nancy’s Character Tracks
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that characters must take interesting actions in their stories to keep the audience engaged.
Act 1: Freya’s search for her life’s purpose sends her fleeing home to an uninhabited island.
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage.
Deeper Layer: Freya escapes to give herself time to think… What’s her purpose? Is her husband her soulmate?
Freya PJ1: Still reeling from a miscarriage and her failure to commit to her husband/marriage, Freya fights with her husband at a holiday christmas party for work. Falls back to the old pattern of work to fill her void.
Action Now: corners her boss at office party, then uses sex to manipulate
Action Future: Threatens to reveal encounter w/boss to get a meaningful story
** Freya is interviewed for a story about the death of her media mogul boss. Story reference’s his island and the sordid history of “murder”.
Establish she is a city girl, glued to her phone, uncomfortable with quiet.
Action Now: shuts down when confronted by husband, sobs, opens computer, writes madly
Action Future: ?
** Freya reveals (in therapy) that she is relieved that she is no longer pregnant
Action Now: She walls up, speaks without emotion, curls into a ball on therapist’s couch
Inciting Incident: Husband gives her an ultimatum, commit to relationship or he’ll leave her.
Action Now: She tries to change his mind with sex, but he denies her
** Freya PJ2: Freya is passed over for a big assignment
Action Now: She threatens to reveal her boss’s indiscretions
Freya PJ3: Freya meets boss to pitch for a more fulfilling story, but is refused.
** Townspeople discuss the future of the island now that media mogul boss owner is dead. Express hopes that tourism will resume
Noah AJ1: While in town, Noah sees a picture of Freya (when interviewed), she’s wearing the one of a kind amulet that once belonged to Lisbeth. He also overhears “treasure hunters” discussing the presence of fortune hidden on the island he is protecting.
Action Now: Noah Slinks around the bar/village, stays in shadows, face down
Action Now: He knocks over a treasure hunter’s drink, all over map of grounds
(Noah AJ2: Noah sends an old travel brochure to Freya’s address.)
Deeper Layer: Noah recognizes Freya as the reincarnation of his past love, Lisbeth and hopes to draw her to the island to be sure.
Freya PJ4: Freya gets an opportunity to write a series of travel articles/blogs about an uninhabited island (once a famous tourism site until the death of Lisbeth, 30 years prior but Freya does not know this yet.)
** Establish Freya is a city slicker with zero skills for living alone on deserted island
** Establish Freya/husbands relationship based on friendship, now hanging on thread
Freya PJ5: Freya tells her husband she’s leaving for a career opportunity. Her husband gives her one week to return, or he leaves. “If you want to be taken seriously as a writer, you need to start acting like someone people can take seriously.”
Action Now: once again tries to use sex as a salve, he stops her
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Turning Point 1: As she’s ferried to island, Freya learns about the legend of the island, she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery.
Action Now: She clings to the side of the boat as they ride (fear). Selfies, takes tons of pictures, struggles to keep calm exterior composure
** There is no indication that a caretaker lives on the island.
** Noah watches her disembark from the shadows.
Action Now: Freya ask ridiculous questions, like daily housekeeping, turns her nose up at the rustic conditions. Scrambles around the island to find bars on her phone. When it’s at the edge of the water, she nearly has a panic attack.
Action Later: She overcomes her fear with deep breaths when she has to go back on the water to escape the island
Act 2: Freya dives into her assignment, but digs deeper into exploring the cold case. Through Noah, Freya reviews her errors of the past/in dreams? through hypnosis?
** Freya struggles with having spotty internet, living so close to water, no water pressure in the cottage, etc.
** Freya falls into depression, questions her abilities to write, stay on island
** Freya fights with husband from stress and his “I told you so attitude”
** Noah wears “caretaker” clothing
** The dreams Freya has about her past are so life like, audience questions whether they are dreams or Freya’s reality
Action Now: After the dreams, she curls up in a ball, afraid
Noah AJ3: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before she learns the truth > who she is and the truth about the murder
Freya PJ6: As Freya stumbles about adjusting to being alone/non-city life, a series of events (created by Noah) occur and she begins to question her reality.
Action Now: She freaks out with her editor and therapist on the phone, acts far from someone who can be taken seriously.
Deeper Layer: Freya has nightly dreams that continue to build clues to the truth > she is the reincarnation of Lisbeth.
** possible beat here in flashback of the home, lived in and in its heyday
** Noah keeps protective watch over something that is buried beneath the house
Freya PJ7: Freya discovers the deserted home that once belonged to Lisbeth and Lars. She breaks in. turns her nose up at the dust.
Noah AJ 4: Noah stalks Freya as she explores the house.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Freya learns the truth about Lisbeth’s death, she uncovers the stories Noah has been collecting. Noah confronts Freya in the house, lies to her about who he is.
Action Now: Instead of being afraid, Freya asks a zillion questions – do you live here? How do you get here? Are you a ghost? To which he replies, do I look like a ghost to you?
Noah AJ 5: Noah tells her to leave the island – for her safety.
Action Now: Until now, he’d been afraid to get too close… he approaches her, reaches for the amulet she wears around her neck.
** snippets of weather reports in the background days before Freya arrives on island
Act 3: Freya digs in. But a deadly storm is headed their way and she can’t leave. Through Noah, Freya reviews her errors of the present/what she is not seeing,
Action Now: Packs bags, frantically tries to get someone on the phone.
Freya PJ8: Freya begins piecing together why Lisbeth was murdered and by who.
Noah AJ6: Reveals who she is – Lisbeth. TBD
Discovery: As Freya gains his trust, he shares the details of Lisbeth’s death. These details match what Freya has been dreaming. Freya shares her dreams with Noah, they match what she has learned about Lisbeth’s death. – the face of her killer has not yet been revealed.
** to rid dreams, Freya undergoes past-life regression therapy
Freya PJ 9: Befriends Noah, uses him for info. There is an unexplainable soul connection between them.
** Freya pitches the new story to her boss, indicating this investigative piece will make her career. She emails notes to boss.
** Husband gives final ultimatum to Freya to return home in 2 days
Noah AJ7: Forces Freya to delete her notes, he doesn’t want her to complete the story because then he would leave her >> she is his love from the past.
** a previous beat where Freya attempts to get closer to water, tinker with a defunct boat left on land
Freya has another dream, this time the face of her killer is revealed, it’s Noah.
Freya PJ10: Afraid for her life, Freya tries to escape. She’s hit from behind.
Turning Point 3: Freya wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door. Her story, and semblance of a shot of a story that could launch her career, is shattered.
Action Now: Freya walls up, can’t speak. “My followers will wonder why I haven’t posted yet.”
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Deeper Layer: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth… in case her memory will implicate him.
** internet is out, landlines are out, no electricity – Freya can’t reach husband to ask him to wait
Act 4: A deadly storm is approaching the island, no one is able to come rescue Freya. She has to use a different tact, convincing Noah to help her escape. Freya sees herself lonely, without husband in the future
Action Now: Freya uses her sexuality to manipulate Noah, he won’t let her touch him. “No.”
Freya PJ 11: Freya convinces Noah that Lisbeth loved him, and so does she. Attempts to win him over. Uses investigative skills to learn more about the real story of why Lisbeth was killed.
Reveal/discovery: (Lisbeth’s husband hired killers, and framed Noah/Caretaker for the murder so that he could claim ownership to the family fortune and money buried in the basement of the family home).
4th Act Climax: Lisbeth & Noah set out for the mainland together. Noah realizes Freya knows the truth about the murders. He confesses and she captures it all on recording/phone call to ?boss?authorities
Noah tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Noah AJ8: As a spirit, Noah crosses over fulfilling his purpose to help Freya find the will to live.
Resolution: Freya returns to her home as a changed woman. She has the will to live, and fights to be with her husband, takes focus off her career.
Freya fights to survive, clinging to the boat. She has found her purpose > to tell the story about Lisbeth and reveal the bigger truth, that the media mogul that died at the beginning of the story was laundering money, hiding it on the island to evade the IRS. She fights to get her husband back. Discovers Noah was never alive in the first place.
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Module 4: Lesson #4
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that searching for logic jumps helps to round out what the ploy points may need to make the story believeable.
** indicates new beats added into the outline.
Act 1: Freya’s search for her life’s purpose sends her fleeing home to an uninhabited island.
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage.
Deeper Layer: Freya escapes to give herself time to think… What’s her purpose? Is her husband her soulmate?
Freya PJ1: Still reeling from a miscarriage and her failure to commit to her husband/marriage, Freya fights with her husband. Falls back to the old pattern of work to fill her void.
** Freya reveals (in therapy) that she is relieved that she is no longer pregnant
Inciting Incident: Husband gives her an ultimatum, commit to relationship or he’ll leave her.
** Freya PJ2: Freya is passed over for a big assignment
Freya PJ3: Freya meets boss to pitch for a more fulfilling story, but is refused.
** Freya is interviewed for a story about the death of her media mogul boss. Story reference’s his island and the sordid history of “murder”.
** Townspeople discuss the future of the island now that media mogul boss owner is dead. Express hopes that tourism will resume
Noah AJ1: While in town, Noah sees a picture of Freya (when interviewed), she’s wearing the one of a kind amulet that once belonged to Lisbeth. He also overhears “treasure hunters” discussing the presence of fortune hidden on the island he is protecting.
Noah AJ2: Noah sends an old travel brochure to Freya’s address.
Deeper Layer: Noah recognizes Freya as the reincarnation of his past love, Lisbeth and hopes to draw her to the island to be sure.
Freya PJ4: Freya gets an opportunity to write a series of travel articles/blogs about an uninhabited island (once a famous tourism site until the death of Lisbeth, 30 years prior but Freya does not know this yet.)
** Establish Freya is a city slicker with zero skills for living alone on deserted island
** Establish Freya/husbands relationship based on friendship, now hanging on thread
Freya PJ5: Freya tells her husband she’s leaving for a career opportunity. Her husband gives her one week to return, or he leaves.
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Turning Point 1: As she’s ferried to island, Freya learns about the legend of the island, she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery.
** There is no indication that a caretaker lives on the island.
** Noah watches her disembark from the shadows.
Act 2: Freya dives into her assignment, but digs deeper into exploring the cold case.
** Freya struggles with having spotty internet, living so close to water, no water pressure in the cottage, etc.
** Freya falls into depression, questions her abilities to write, stay on island
** Freya fights with husband from stress and his “I told you so attitude”
** Noah wears “caretaker” clothing
** The dreams Freya has about her past are so life like, audience questions whether they are dreams or Freya’s reality
Noah AJ3: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before she learns the truth > who she is and the truth about the murder
Freya PJ6: As Freya stumbles about adjusting to being alone/non-city life, a series of events (created by Noah) occur and she begins to question her reality.
Deeper Layer: Freya has nightly dreams that continue to build clues to the truth > she is the reincarnation of Lisbeth.
** possible beat here in flashback of the home, lived in and in its heyday
** Noah keeps protective watch over something that is buried beneath the house
Freya PJ7: Freya discovers the deserted home that once belonged to Lisbeth and Lars. She breaks in.
Noah AJ 4: Noah stalks Freya as she explores the house.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Freya learns the truth about Lisbeth’s death, she uncovers the stories Noah has been collecting. Noah confronts Freya in the house, lies to her about who he is.
Noah AJ 5: Noah tells her to leave the island.
** snippets of weather reports in the background days before Freya arrives on island
Act 3: Freya digs in. But a deadly storm is headed their way and she can’t leave.
Freya PJ8: Freya begins piecing together why Lisbeth was murdered and by who.
Noah AJ6: Reveals who she is – Lisbeth.
Discovery: As Freya gains his trust, he shares the details of Lisbeth’s death. These details match what Freya has been dreaming. Freya shares her dreams with Noah, they match what she has learned about Lisbeth’s death.
** to rid dreams, Freya undergoes past-life regression therapy
Freya PJ 9: Befriends Noah, uses him for info. There is an unexplainable soul connection between them.
** Freya pitches the new story to her boss, indicating this investigative piece will make her career. She emails notes to boss.
** Husband gives final ultimatum to Freya to return home in 2 days
Noah AJ7: Forces Freya to delete her notes, he doesn’t want her to complete the story because then he would leave her >> she is his love from the past.
** a previous beat where Freya attempts to get closer to water, tinker with a defunct boat left on land
Freya PJ10: Afraid for her life, Freya tries to escape. She’s hit from behind.
Turning Point 3: Freya wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door. Her story, and semblance of a shot of a story that could launch her career, is shattered.
Deeper Layer: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth… in case her memory will implicate him.
** internet is out, landlines are out, no electricity – Freya can’t reach husband to ask him to wait
Act 4: A deadly storm is approaching the island, no one is able to come rescue Freya. She has to use a different tact, convincing Noah to help her escape.
Freya PJ 11: Freya convinces Noah that Lisbeth loved him, and so does she. Attempts to win him over. Uses investigative skills to learn more about the real story of why Lisbeth was killed.
Reveal/discovery: (Lisbeth’s husband hired killers, and framed Noah/Caretaker for the murder so that he could claim ownership to the family fortune and money buried in the basement of the family home).
4th Act Climax: Lisbeth & Noah set out for the mainland together. Noah realizes Freya knows the truth about the murders. He tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Noah AJ8: As a spirit, Noah crosses over fulfilling his purpose to help Freya find the will to live.
Resolution: Freya fights to survive, clinging to the boat. She has found her purpose > to tell the story about Lisbeth and reveal the bigger truth, that the media mogul that died at the beginning of the story was laundering money, hiding it on the island to evade the IRS. She fights to get her husband back. Discovers Noah was never alive in the first place. Montage of scenes where it is obvious Noah was a spirit all along.
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Module 4: Lesson #3
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are still elements of Act 3 I am still figuring out to make this story plausible.
Act 1: Freya’s search for her life’s purpose sends her fleeing home to an uninhabited island.
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage.
Deeper Layer: Freya escapes to give herself time to think… What’s her purpose? Is her husband her soulmate?
Freya PJ1: Still reeling from a miscarriage and her failure to commit to her husband/marriage, Freya fights with her husband. Falls back to the old pattern of work to fill her void.
Inciting Incident: Husband gives her an ultimatum, commit to relationship or he’ll leave her.
Freya PJ2: Freya
Freya PJ3: Freya meets boss to pitch for a more fulfilling story, but is refused.
Noah AJ1: While in town, Noah sees a picture of Freya on TV, she’s wearing the one of a kind amulet that once belonged to Lisbeth. He also overhears “treasure hunters” discussing the presence of fortune hidden on the island he is protecting.
Noah AJ2: Noah sends an old travel brochure to Freya’s address.
Deeper Layer: Noah recognizes Freya as the reincarnation of his past love, Lisbeth and hopes to draw her to the island to be sure.
Freya PJ4: Freya gets an opportunity to write a series of travel articles/blogs about an uninhabited island (once a famous tourism site until the death of Lisbeth, 30 years prior but Freya does not know this yet.)
Freya PJ5: Freya tells her husband she’s leaving for a career. Her husband gives her one week to return, or he leaves.
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Turning Point 1: Freya learns about the legend of the island, she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery. But she’s not alone, Noah watches her disembark from the shadows.
Act 2: Freya dives into her assignment, but digs deeper into exploring the cold case.
Noah AJ3: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before she learns the truth > who she is and the truth about the murder
Freya PJ6: As Freya stumbles about adjusting to being alone/non-city life, a series of events (created by Noah) occur and she begins to question her reality.
Deeper Layer: Freya has nightly dreams that continue to build clues to the truth > she is the reincarnation of Lisbeth.
Freya PJ7: Freya discovers the deserted home that once belonged to Lisbeth and Lars. She breaks in.
Noah AJ 4: Noah stalks Freya as she explores the house.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Freya learns the truth about Lisbeth’s death, she uncovers the stories Noah has been collecting. Noah confronts Freya in the house, lies to her about who he is.
Noah AJ 5: Noah tells her to leave the island.
Act 3: Freya digs in. But a deadly storm is headed their way and she can’t leave.
Freya PJ8: Freya begins piecing together why Lisbeth was murdered and by who.
Noah AJ6: Reveals who she is – Lisbeth.
Discovery: As Freya gains his trust, he shares the details of Lisbeth’s death. These details match what Freya has been dreaming. Freya shares her dreams with Noah, they match what she has learned about Lisbeth’s death.
Freya PJ 9: Befriends Noah, uses him for info. There is an unexplainable soul connection between them.
Noah AJ7: Forces Freya to delete her notes, he doesn’t want her to complete the story because then he would leave her >> she is his love from the past.
Freya PJ10: Afraid for her life, Freya tries to escape. She’s hit from behind.
Turning Point 3: Freya wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door. Her story, and semblance of a shot of a story that could launch her career, is shattered.
Deeper Layer: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth… in case her memory will implicate him.
Act 4: A deadly storm is approaching the island, no one is able to come rescue Freya. She has to use a different tact, convincing Noah to help her escape.
Freya PJ 11: Freya convinces Noah that Lisbeth loved him, and so does she. Attempts to win him over. Uses investigative skills to learn more about the real story of why Lisbeth was killed.
Reveal/discovery: (Lisbeth’s husband hired killers, and framed Noah/Caretaker for the murder so that he could claim ownership to the family fortune and money buried in the basement of the family home).
4th Act Climax: Lisbeth & Noah set out for the mainland together. Noah realizes Freya knows the truth about the murders. He tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Noah AJ8: As a spirit, Noah crosses over fulfilling his purpose to help Freya find the will to live.
Resolution: Freya fights to survive, clinging to the boat. She has found her purpose > to tell the story about Lisbeth and reveal the bigger truth, that the media mogul that died at the beginning of the story was laundering money, hiding it on the island to evade the IRS. She fights to get her husband back. Discovers Noah was never alive in the first place.
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My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
The High Concept: A relationship challenged crime reporter discovers she’s stuck on an island with the fugitive who killed her in a past life.
What I learned doing this assignment is that my structure is a work in progress and it is still not there yet.
Protagonist: Freya
Surface Layer: Freya is troubled by her platonic marriage, she escapes to give herself time to think.
Beginning: Freya has just miscarried. Marriage is in shambles. Drawn to a deserted island to find answers.
Inciting Incident: She’s given a deadline to commit to her marriage or husband will leave her. She travels to an uninhabited island to figure out her marriage, and research a mystery >> get back in the saddle of work.
Turning Point 1: Freya isn’t alone on the island > someone (Noah) is stalking her.
Hints: Freya has dreams of drowning and we believe this is due to a childhood fear of water… but in fact, they are dreams of how she died in her past life.
Deeper Layer: Freya is the incarnation of Lisbeth, a woman who was murdered.
Act 2: Freya commits to solving the mystery, and sticking it out.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint: Noah confronts Freya and traps her in his home “for her one good.”
Act 3: Noah reveals his belief about who she is – Lisbeth.
Turning Point 3: Freya tries to escape from Noah, wakes up tied to her bed as the waters rise from the impending storm outside her door.
Influences Surface Story: Because he is a soul, Noah knows Freya is the reincarnation of Lisbeth… but it is unclear how much she remembers. He tries to deter her from looking within and remembering the truth – scares her, stalks her, lies to her and holds her hostage.
Act 4 Climax: Freya uses her skills to befriend Noah and convince him that she is in love with him and that they should escape the island to survive the storm and be together.
Major Reveal: At the climax when Freya and Noah flee the island to survive the storm, Freya pieces together that Noah killed her in a past life because she recognizes him from her past life dreams.
Resolution: Freya wakes up washed ashore, no sign of Noah or no sign he ever existed. She sees Noah in an obituary picture, she seeks resolution with her existing husband knowing life is eternal and she will be with her soulmate in another life.
Changes Reality: We see the story is a love story. Freya trying to find her soulmate (who she had in a previous lifetime) and now that she knows he exists, although not in this lifetime, she can repair the damage of her existing marriage.
Antagonist: Noah
Surface Layer: Noah is just the lonely caretaker on a deserted island.
Beginning: Noah has been living alone on the island for 30 years, hiding from mainlanders and possible conviction for murder. He’s been a fugitive.
Inciting incident: (Noah sees Freya on a news program, recognizes the amulet she wears, tracks her down and sends a postcard enticing her to visit the island)
Turning Point 1: Noah watches Freya disembark on the island and knows it is Lisbeth. His goal > scare her off the island before she learns/reveals the truth.
Act 2: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before he learns the truth. His actions cause her to question her own reality.
Influences Surface Story: Noah “haunts” Freya and appears in places that no human could. No one on the mainland has ever seen Noah and there are rumors the old house on the island is haunted.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Noah confronts Freya, threatens what she knows, mentally manipulates her by lying about who he is.
HInts: When Noah is alone, and we see the world from his perspective, his surroundings are what they once were (30 years ago), but Freya sees them as they are now – dusty, unkempt with furniture covered in sheets. His face is disfigured (from the fire he died in)
Act 3: Noah reveals who Freya is. They have a connection, he becomes violent.
Turning Point 3: Freya tries to escape the island w/o him. He captures her, ties to her bed as an outside storm is building, waters are rising.
4th Act Climax: They set out for the mainland together. He realizes Freya doesn’t love him and knows the truth about the murders. He tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Deeper Layer: Noah is Lisbeth’s killer, that has been unable to pass over until he fulfills his contract in this life > to help Freya find the will to live.
Major Reveal: After Freya is rescued and their is no sign of Noah ever being with her, she is shown an obituary photograph of a man that died years ago. It is Noah, he’s been dead and was interacting with Freya as a spirit.
Resolution: Noah sees that Freya has found her will to live. This was his purpose in this life, and now that it is complete, he is able to pass over to the otherside. Noah never existed in human form.
Changes Reality: It’s a love story about unrequited love for Noah… his love for Lisbeth … so some of his actions seem justified.
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MODULE #4 Lesson #1
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
Title: Survivor’s Guilt
The High Concept: A relationship challenged investigative reporter discovers she’s stuck on an island with the fugitive who killed her in a past life.
What I learned doing this assignment is I need to figure out my Act 3 and TP 3 to determine if they need to be moved up earlier in the script.
Beginning: Freya has just miscarried. Throws herself into work, and an affair to cope.
Inciting Incident: She’s given a deadline to commit to her marriage or husband will leave her. She travels to an uninhabited island to figure out her marriage, and research a mystery.
Turning Point 1: Freya learns about the legend of the island, a mother (Lisbeth) and child (Hanna) allegedly murdered by the husband/father (Lars) 30 years earlier – she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery to absolve her own guilt. And launch her career.
Act 2: Freya commits to solving the mystery, becomes obsessed by hidden drive while driving a wedge deeper between her and husband. She feels she is being watched, followed but afraid she’s losing her mind.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint: Freya discovers she’s not alone, she’s been stalked by Noah. He lies about who he is.
Act 3: Noah reveals his belief about who she is – Lisbeth. As Freya gains his trust, he shares the details of Lisbeth’s death. These details match what Freya has been dreaming.
Turning Point 3: Freya tries to flee to the mainland but she wakes up tied to her bed in her own cottage as the water rises. She plots to convince Noah that she is LISBETH and in love with him so he agrees to free her/work together to escape the island/storm.
4th Act Climax: Freya and Noah set off in an unreliable boat to the mainland as hurricane hits. Noah is not who he pretends to be. Freya remembers the events of Lisbeth’s death. Noah killed her. Fight ensues, boat capsizes, both are thrown in the rough seas for dead.
Resolution: Freya wakes washed up on the beach of mainland, no sign if Noah or if he ever really existed. In the hospital, a nurse shows her an obituary picture of the island’s caretaker (from 30 year’s ago). It is the face of the man she knows from her dreams, he killed Lisbeth. It is Noah. Noah never really existed. Freya commits to her relationship with her current husband. He’s not her soulmate but now knows her soulmate will wait for her.
Antagonist: Noah’s Journey
Beginning: Noah has been living alone on the island for 30 years, hiding from mainlanders and possible conviction for murder. He’s been a fugitive.
Inciting incident: (Noah sees Freya on a news program, recognizes the amulet she wears, tracks her down and sends a postcard enticing her to visit the island)
Turning Point 1: Noah watches Freya disembark on the island and knows it is Lisbeth. His goal > scare her off the island before she learns/reveals the truth.
Act 2: Noah spies/stalks Freya. Tries to scare her off the island before he learns the truth. His actions cause her to question her own reality.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Noah confronts Freya, threatens what she knows, mentally manipulates her by lying about who he is.
Act 3: Noah reveals who Freya is. They have a connection, he becomes violent.
Turning Point 3: Freya tries to escape the island w/o him. He captures him, ties to her bed as an outside storm is building, waters are rising.
4th Act Climax: They set out for the mainland together. He realizes Freya doesn’t love him and knows the truth about the murders. He tries to kill her but they both go overboard.
Resolution: Noah sees that Freya has found her will to live. This was his purpose in this life, and now that it is complete, he is able to pass over to the other side. Noah never existed in human form.
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Module 3 Lesson 8 – Purpose Driven Supporting Characters
Nancy’s supporting charactersMy Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to flesh out further the purposes of my supporting characters.
Supporting Characters: Noah, Camille, Dr. Britton, Gudrun, Lotte
Background characters: Camille’s boss, village shop owners/restaurant proprietor’s local weatherman, NYC friends and colleagues
Support 1:
Name: Noah
Role: Freya’s deceased husband
Main purpose: Represent that Freya is worthy of love
Value: His death is the catalyst to send Freya on this trip and their relationship woes help push her to be a better person.
Support 2:
Name: Camille
Role: Freya’s editor and boss
Main purpose: Her rejection (“fires” Freya) pushes Freya to take this journey and write again
Value: To give Freya a goal to strive for and not give in, face her fear of water to do so
Support 3:
Name: Doctor Britton
Role: Freya’s psychiatrist
Main purpose: Sounding board, tool for Freya to discover her past life as Lisbeth
Value: Helps increase the mystery as he guides Freya to understand the meaning of her dreams
Support 4:
Name: Gudrun
Role: Freya’s massage therapist and energy worker
Main purpose: Freya’s confidant, good friend
Value: Pushes Freya to seek the truth, opens Freya’s mind up to the possibilities of past lives and guides her to memory that proves Noah is innocent
Support 5:
Name: Lotte
Role: Mainlander “mayor”
Main purpose: Reveals the mystery of the island to Freya
Value: Establishes the stakes of the island and the storm
Support 6:
Name: Detective Lanning
Role: Detective
Main purpose: Investigating the cold case of fugitive Noah Ericksen and the murder of his wife Lisbeth, and daughter Hanna
Value: Investigation increases tension that Noah may be found out that he is the fugitive before Freya has a chance to discover the truth – that he’s innocent
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Lesson # 7 – Nancy’s Character Profiles Part 2
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment: my characters are becoming more interesting the more I build out the character profiles.
The High Concept: A grieving investigative reporter discovers she’s the reincarnated wife of the fugitive killer that killed her.
This character’s journey: From suffering with survivor’s guilt to finding the will to live again.
The Actor Attractors for this character: a polished, city slicker with an interesting career that is at the height of her career, to the lowest depths of grief. She will have deep ranges of emotion – sadness, fear, bravery and will need to confront her past to live alone, find the will to write, the will to live and to fight off a deadly storm. She also must navigate the agenda set by the antagonist. She is a woman who is highly intuitive (i.e. can sense things happening before they do), discovers she has had a past life in which she was killed by the very person she shares an uninhabited island with.
Role in the Story: Freya, protagonist. She’s the cutthroat journalist that will do anything for a good story. When she loses her husband, and can’t pull it together after many months and loses the will to write, she loses her job. As a result, she flees to an uninhabited island to grieve – even though she’s deathly afraid of water. She discovers a mystery that she’s intent on solving to absolve her own grief, and by writing about it, the hope to get her job back. She faces her fear of water to get to the mainland in a deadly storm, and in doing so finds her will to live again.
Age range and Description: late 20’s, young professional/yuppy type , slender, sophisticated but gritty and tough. Historically a work-a-holic that puts her job in front of her family.
Core Traits: Haunted, argumentative, walled, problem solver
Motivation
Want: to solve the island’s mystery to prove that she can still write despite her loss.
Need: to forgive herself and allow herself to move on
Wound: What they can’t face: Her stories have exposed important people and destroyed lives in the past. She is haunted by this. Obsessed with her job, she didn’t focus on her family like she should – thinking they had forever. And then she lost them and she was helpless to save them.
Likability: A good mother, hard worker, she is personable/polite to mainlanders, self-deprecating about her inabilities to be alone
Relatability: Freya has experienced trauma, she has lost her job, lost her will to live
Empathy: Freya couldn’t save her husband/daughter, she’s alone and grieving, she has writer’s block, believes she is losing her mind (when Noah is stalking her), she has to face a deadly storm and get back to the mainland but is deathly afraid of water
Character Subtext: doesn’t want anyone to know her weakness: afraid of water, writer’s block, has survivor’s guilt. She’s hiding thing (bad dreams, visions of the past, death of husband), feels wounded, beaten down so often combative when triggered/or ability question
Character Intrigue:
Hidden agenda: to dive back into work, ignore grief, dig up a story to find recognition/fame
Secrets: Sexual abused as a child, affair but kept secret from her husband, blamed him for one instead. Cuts herself. Has dreams about her past life. Believes she is being stalked/but thinks she might be imagining it.
Deception: Tells the caretaker she wants to prove he is innocent in order to get his help, but then intends on turning him in to authorities
Unspoken Wound: trauma in past, can’t get close to anyone, especially hard time having relationships, doesn’t trust people because she doesn’t want to be hurt/taken advantage of
Secret Identity: The past wife of a famous fugitive/subject of an unsolved murder
Flaw: overly combative, workaholic with focus on the wrong things – afraid to be alone in country, takes risks because she’s lost everything
Values: Approval from others, fame/recognition for work, exposing the truth through writing (condemning villains by exposing thru stories)
Character Dilemma: in past, recognized for career versus being a good wife. Now, live in guilt versus doing the selfless thing
Antagonist:
The High Concept: A grieving investigative reporter discovers she’s the reincarnated wife of the fugitive killer that killed her.
This character’s journey: from fugitive on the run also haunted by loss to embracing his past and ability to move on to his next life.
The Actor Attractors for this character: highly dark, interesting character that has lived alone for years as a fugitive. He is a master of disguises, ensuring those who meet him do not recognize him. He pretends he’s someone that he’s not — a caretaker. Great range of emotion in his role/relationship with Freya… and he actually doesn’t exist… he’s a spirit.
Role in the Story: Antagonist. The caretaker to the Ericksen home on the island… but no one on the mainland knows he exists. He’s been hiding out because it is believed he killed his wife Lisbeth Ericksen and her child. He’ll work to prevent Freya from learning the truth.
Age range and Description: late 40’s, man of few words, burly and strong
Core Traits: Manipulative, paranoid, curious, loving
Motivation;
Want: to hide the truth about what he has done
Need: find forgiveness
Wound: Never found love, the one person he opened up to and cared about – his wife – was killed (and he feels responsible).
Likability: intelligent/knows the land, shares great stories of the island, shows interest in Freya/what she does for a living
Relatability: Noah has lost someone he loves, he doesn’t like himself for what he’s done, he’s alone
Empathy: Freya reminds him of Lisbeth and this hurts him
Character Subtext: Hiding that he is not who he presents to be (caretaker), paranoid because he is afraid he will be pinned for his wife’s death. Will not share who he is.
Character Intrigue:
Hidden agendas: Convince Freya that Lisbeth’s husband killed Lisbeth and their daughter so she does not put the clues together that it was him
Competition: His lies are competing with the truth that is surfacing in Freya’s dreams and memories
Conspiracies:
Secrets: He killed Lisbeth and has been hiding from that truth alone on the island
Deception: Befriends Freya, to help her heal (from her guilt) and but to keep her away from discovering the truth
Unspoken Wound: He was in love with Lisbeth and could never have her
Secret Identity: A killer ashamed of his actions looking for absolution
Flaw: shuts down, hides, tells lies but then gets caught in them
Values: Family, love, truth
Character Dilemma: wanting exoneration from the outside versus living with the internal truth, fear of being caught versus clearing name
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Module 3 – Lesson #6 – Character Profiles Part 1
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that lead characters start to find shape as I add in details that would attract actors to play them.
Lesson #6
The High Concept: A grieving investigative reporter discovers she’s the reincarnated wife of the fugitive killer that killed her.
This character’s journey: From suffering with survivor’s guilt to finding the will to live again.
The Actor Attractors for this character: a polished, city slicker with an interesting career that is at the height of her career, to the lowest depths of grief. She will have deep ranges of emotion – sadness, fear, bravery and will need to confront her past to live alone, find the will to write, the will to live and to fight off a deadly storm. She also must navigate the agenda set by the antagonist. She is a woman who is highly intuitive (i.e. can sense things happening before they do), discovers she has had a past life in which she was killed by the very person she shares an uninhabited island with.
Role in the Story: Freya, protagonist. She’s the cutthroat journalist that will do anything for a good story. When she loses her husband, and can’t pull it together after many months and loses the will to write, she loses her job. As a result, she flees to an uninhabited island to grieve – even though she’s deathly afraid of water. She discovers a mystery that she’s intent on solving to absolve her own grief, and by writing about it, the hope to get her job back. She faces her fear of water to get to the mainland in a deadly storm, and in doing so finds her will to live again.
Age range and Description: late 20’s, young professional/yuppy type , slender, sophisticated but gritty and tough. Historically a work-a-holic that puts her job in front of her family.
Core Traits: Haunted, argumentative, walled, problem solver
Motivation
Want: to solve the island’s mystery to prove that she can still write despite her loss.
Need: to forgive herself and allow herself to move on
Wound: What they can’t face: Her stories have exposed important people and destroyed lives in the past. She is haunted by this. Obsessed with her job, she didn’t focus on her family like she should – thinking they had forever. And then she lost them and she was helpless to save them.
Likability: A good mother, hard worker, she is personable/polite to mainlanders, self-deprecating about her inabilities to be alone
Relatability: Freya has experienced trauma, she has lost her job, lost her will to live
Empathy: Freya couldn’t save her husband/daughter, she’s alone and grieving, she has writer’s block, believes she is losing her mind (when Noah is stalking her), she has to face a deadly storm and get back to the mainland but is deathly afraid of water
Antagonist:
B. This character’s journey: from fugitive on the run also haunted by loss to embracing his past and ability to move on to his next life.
C. The Actor Attractors for this character: highly dark, interesting character that has lived alone for years as a fugitive. He is a master of disguises, ensuring those who meet him do not recognize him. He pretends he’s someone that he’s not — a caretaker. Great range of emotion in his role/relationship with Freya… and he actually doesn’t exist… he’s a spirit.
Role in the Story: Antagonist. The caretaker to the Ericksen home on the island… but no one on the mainland knows he exists. He’s been hiding out because it is believed he killed his wife Lisbeth Ericksen and her child. He’ll work to prevent Freya from learning the truth.
Age range and Description: late 40’s, man of few words, burly and strong
Core Traits: Manipulative, paranoid, curious, loving
Motivation;
Want: to hide the truth about what he has done
Need: find forgiveness
Wound: Never found love, the one person he opened up to and cared about – his wife – was killed (and he feels responsible).
Likability: intelligent/knows the land, shares great stories of the island, shows interest in Freya/what she does for a living
Relatability: Noah has lost someone he loves, he doesn’t like himself for what he’s done, he’s alone
Empathy: Freya reminds him of Lisbeth and this hurts him
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Lesson 5 – Audience Connection to Characters
Nancy’s Likability/Relatability/Empathy
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that unrelatable characters, even if they are “bad”, so not keep audiences fully engaged in a story. Multi-dimensional characters are what sells.
Protagonist: Freya
Likability: A good mother, hard worker, she is personable/polite to mainlanders, self-deprecating about her inabilities to be alone
Relatability: Freya has experienced trauma, she has lost her job, lost her will to live
Empathy: Freya couldn’t save her husband/daughter, she’s alone and grieving, she has writer’s block, believes she is losing her mind (when Noah is stalking her), she has to face a deadly storm and get back to the mainland but is deathly afraid of water
Antagonist: Noah
Likability: intelligent/knows the land, shares great stories of the island, shows interest in Freya/what she does for a living
Relatability: Noah has lost someone he loves, he doesn’t like himself for what he’s done, he’s alone
Empathy: Freya reminds him of Lisbeth and this hurts him
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My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that I struggle with subtext more than other areas in character development so I will spend more time focusing in this area.
Character Name: Freya
Role: Protagonist. Investigative reporter who is mourning the loss of her family but discovers she may be the past (murdered) wive of a fugitive she sets out to investigate
Hidden agendas: Use a vacation meant for grieving to investigate/solve a mystery that she wants to use to prove to her boss she’s ready to go back to work.
Competition: With writer’s back at home/in the office vying for best stories while she’s on sabbatical.
Conspiracies:
Secrets: Sexual abused as a child, affair but kept secret from her husband, blamed him for one instead. Cuts herself. Has dreams about her past life. Believes she is being stalked/but thinks she might be imagining it.
Deception: Tells the caretaker she wants to prove he is innocent in order to get his help, but then intends on turning him in to authorities
Unspoken Wound: trauma in past, can’t get close to anyone, especially hard time having relationships, doesn’t trust people because she doesn’t want to be hurt/taken advantage of
Secret Identity: The past wife of a famous fugitive/subject of an unsolved murder
Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie: she lies to her boss about “vacationing” but fully intends to find a story to catapult her back into being the “it” writer. Her argument with her husband about his affair leads up to their terrible accident – we wonder if she purposely lets him drown. Downplays the reality of her dreams and the messages they are sending but is concerned they may be reality. When the caretaker reacts negatively to her belief that Lars Ericksen is innocent, she changes her story to convince the caretaker she is on his side to obtain his help to escape the island.
Character Name: Noah
Role: Antagonist – The Caretaker of the Ericksen home on the island Freya visits
Hidden agendas: Convince Freya that Lisbeth’s husband killed Lisbeth and their daughter so she does not put the clues together that it was him
Competition: His lies are competing with the truth that is surfacing in Freya’s dreams and memories
Conspiracies:
Secrets: He killed Lisbeth and has been hiding from that truth alone on the island
Deception: Befriends Freya, to help her heal (from her guilt) and but to keep her away from discovering the truth
Unspoken Wound: He was in love with Lisbeth and could never have her
Secret Identity: A killer ashamed of his actions looking for absolution
Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie: He manipulates Freya so she makes a plan to stay on the island/lures her, then he stalks her to learn about her, he feeds her lies to believe Lars killed his wife, he gaslights Freya to make her question her own mind, kidnaps Freya when she gets too close to the truth
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<div>Nancy’s Subtext Characters</div>
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned during this assignment is that characters actions and words are only the surface of who/what they are. Subtext makes them much more interesting to watch.
Movie Title: Survivor’s Guilt
Character Name: Freya
Covert Identity: the victim
Subtext Identity: Investigative reporter with a Wound about being hurt by those close to her
Subtext Trait: Covers by being overly giving (triggered – suspicious, nosy to a fault)
Subtext Logline: Freya is afraid she’s unlovable so overcompensates by giving of herself, but when triggered she takes risks, attacks others verbally, punishes herself to prove she can sustain the pain.
Possible Areas of Subtext: trying to explore/investigate things she should leave alone, puts herself in danger to break into Caretakers home, cuts herself when she is down, fights, leaves her beloved job (that provided security and she hid behind) and flees to an uninhabited island, forces herself to be surrounded by water of which she is very afraid, to live alone which goes against her comfort, suspicious of the caretaker,
Character Name: Caretaker
Covert Identity: The spy/stalker
Subtext Identity: A caretaker who is in denial about the crime he committed
Subtext Trait: Manipulative, conniving/deceptive
Subtext Logline: The Caretaker, Noah, is a directionless caretaker who is in love with the woman that he killed in the past.
Possible Areas of Subtext: hides on the island, stalks Freya, fabricates stories about the crime, befriends Freya to trust him then betrays her, exploits her mental instability
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Nancy’s Actor Attractors
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that characters can not be one dimensional but must have many facets in order to attract actors to play them.
Lead Character Name: FREYA
Role: (Protagonist or Antagonist): Protagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A strong independent woman tormented by the guilt of her husband and child’s death that she could not prevent (because she can’t swim). Faces her fear of water to grieve on a deserted island, must overcome many obstacles of being alone and fighting to discern between her mind’s games and reality. Ultimate, she faces the man who killed her and her child in her past life.
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
She’s tormented but strong. Obsessed with solving the mystery surrounding the island that she is on – the death of a mother and child – alleged to be the husband/son. She feels she must solve this to absolve her own guilt. She exhibits anxiety and diminishing health as she comes face to face with a killer. Highly capable on the outside, Freya struggles with what is reality.
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Face fear of water, force herself to swim
Confront a killer/spirit of a killer to find the answers to a mystery
Set out on the ocean to get to mainland in deadly storm
Have relationships with characters that are not alive
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Open to the scene where Freya is fighting off the elements in a failing boat to escape deserted island to reach the mainland/fighting off the Caretaker who is turning on her
Create tension: the scene where she drives the car off the bridge, killing her husband and child because she tries but is unable to swim to save them
What could be this character’s emotional range?
Tormented by guilt to finding the will to live again
Deathly afraid of the water to overcome fears to survive
Sad, broken, feeling sorry for herself to tuned in, resourceful and driven to succeed
What subtext can the actor play?
On the outside, controlled, strong … inside/subtext – wracked with guilt and insecurity about her abilities
Tormented by dreams and unable to discern her reality
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Cantankerous relationship with her boss/editor
She’s afraid of the caretaker, then befriends him, them has to defend her life with him, then against him
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
As an investigative reporter, pushes peoples buttons, takes things one step further, finds the weakness in other characters, digs until she has the answer
What could make this character special and unique?
Quick witted, ability to cut someone with words, goes for the jugular, wishes she had been a better mother/wife
Lead Character Name: The Caretaker
Role: (Protagonist or Antagonist): Antagonist
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Mysterious, strong, man of few words but obviously holding secrets, believes he is living at a different time
What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
The audience doesn’t know if he exists or is a figment of Freya’s imagination
Tells great stories about legend/lore of the island
What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
Stalk Freya without being seen, creating tension
Manipulating her to believe he is innocent
Kidnap Freya, mentally manipulate her based on her guilt weakness
How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
See him living day to day as a loner, stalks Freya – hope/fear – we don’t know if he is interested in her/or wanting to hurt her
What could be this character’s emotional range
Quiet/reserved withholding info/secrets to angry and manipulative to prevent Freya from learning the truth
What subtext can the actor play?
He realizes who Freya is and loves her, even though he manipulates her
He’s the killer, lying about the truth
What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Stalks, then befriends, then tries to kill the one woman he loved from his past and lost
How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Will use common speech from 30 years ago, he’s stuck in the past
What could make this character special and unique?
A cantankerous loner that has destroyed himself/life by being driven by a love he could not have
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My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are many facets that go into creating characters that will attract actors, in my genre’s case, the more psychologically messed up the better.
Movie Title: The Machinist
Lead Character Name: Christian Bale
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role? Not only was it a mentally taxing role – playing a man with dark demons and guilt, it was also physically taxing – he had to lose 63 pounds until he was emaciated. This alone created buzz for the movie and his part.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie? He’s like able but he hasn’t slept in a year. He’s filled with guilt that manifests externally – constantly washing hands and cleaning. Has a wide range of emotions and we as the audience take the ride with him trying to uncover why he is wracked with guilt, and what is reality and what is only his reality.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Almost kills a co-worker
Befriends a character that is only in his mind
Tries to solve the mystery of who that character (Ivan) is
Solves a puzzle of hangman to provide the clues of who he is
Throws himself in front of a car in order to report a missing persons case
Has a relationship with a hooker
Almost loses his own arm in a work accident
Ditches the police in a chase in the sewer
He DOESN’T sleep
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
He is rolling up a dead body in a carpet, driving it to a pier and throwing it in. We see from the very beginning that this character will be interesting by his dark eyed, sleep deprived appearance.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Exhaustion, level-headedness and capability at work then spiraling into a deep psychotic hole filled with fear, outbursts, anger and sadness/regret by the end of the movie.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Confusion at his situation, what is reality what is not, guilt (shown externally in actions), sadness (losing mother), wrestling with his reality – what is real, what is not
7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?
With co-star Jennifer Jason Leigh, a call girl that actually cares for him. The relationship with Ivan, who is a man that is simply a manifestation of his guilt, and Maria which is another imagined character, a manifestation of his own mother and the mother of the boy he killed.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Articulate but man of a few words, funny but in a subtle self-deprecating way
9. What makes this character special and unique?
His appearance, struggle with his guilt, manifestation of people who don’t exist, the way he drags himself through his life because he has know choice.
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Nancy’s genre conventions.
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that a psychological thriller is different than a straight up thriller in the sense that much of the suspense and conflict will come from having an unreliable narrator and events that will take place in the protagonists mind.
Title: Survivor’s Guilt
Concept: A grieving investigative reporter discovers she’s the reincarnated wife of the legendary fugitive killer that she’s investigating.
Genre: Psychological Thriller
Conventions for Thriller:
Thrill audience
Face danger physically, emotionally, mentally
Mystery to be solved, underhanded plan and suspense
Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero
Villain
Main Emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation, uncertainty, and surprise.
Act 1:
Opening: A mysterious, flash image of her drowning, Freya drives her car off a bridge, her husband and child with her. She bobs to the surface, she can’t swim. Fails to save her family.
Inciting Incident: Haunted by dreams, unable to sleep, Freya flees to an uninhabited island to grieve.
Mainlanders warn her of impending doom if goes to the island.
Deathly afraid of water, she’s barely able to make the crossing from mainland to island. She speaks to her husband/child as if they are with her.
Turning Point: Freya learns about the legend of the island, a mother (Lisbeth) and child (Hanna) allegedly murdered by the husband/father (Lars) 30 years earlier – she has an unexplainable drive to solve their mystery to absolve her own guilt.
Act 2:
New plan: Freya becomes obsessed with solving the mystery of Lisbeth and Hanna. She feels their presence all around her, her daughter appears to give her clues.
Plan in action: Freya pushes her boundaries to explore the island, gather info, Her insomnia leads to paranoia – she hears footsteps outside her door, tapping on her window, thinks someone has followed her in the woods. She finds her belongings in the cottage have been ransacked … is this reality or her imagination?
Midpoint Turning Point: She’s not on the island alone – she’s confronted by the Caretaker of the Ericksen estate – a dilapidated home where Lisbeth, Lars and Hanna once lived. He warns her she must leave to save her life. But there’s a deep unexplainable connection/attraction between Freya and the Caretaker that she can’t explain.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Not sleeping, and when she does her dreams are flooded with realistic dreams of Lisbeth, Hanna and Lars. So realistic, Freya believes she was there the night they were murdered.
New plan: She sneaks into Lisbeth’s and Lar’s abandoned home for clues. A picture reveals Lisbeth wearing a one of a kind antique amulet that Freya now wears around her neck.
When the caretaker sees the amulet, he locks Freya up. Freya has almost pieced together the puzzle of Lisbeth and Hanna…
Turning Point: Freya shares what she knows about the murder with the caretaker. The caretaker tells her she was Lisbeth in a past life, that he brought her here to discover this. She turns her back on the story, tries to flee – a deadly storm is coming and there is no way off the island.
Act 4:
New Plan: Join forces with the caretaker and together focus on survival and getting off the island alive. She has to face her fear of water when the only means is to restore a dilapidated powerboat.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: The Caretaker confesses his deep seeded love for Freya. Freya and the caretaker struggle to survive as they cross to the mainland, Freya has to find the will to survive and get to the other side.
Resolution: Freya wakes up, washed up to shore. When rescued, she asks for the Caretaker, but there is no evidence that he ever existed on the island or boat with her. She discovers he was the spirit of Lars (Lisbeth’s husband) that has been stuck in this life wracked with guilt from wife/daughter’s death … by absolving Lars of the crime by learning the truth from her dreams, Freya enables Lars to cross peacefully to the other side.
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My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that structure helps increase tension and guide the writing. I still have many holes but will continue putting them in.
Title: Survivor’s Guilt
Concept: A grieving war correspondent discovers she’s the reincarnated wife of a legendary fugitive killer that she’s investigating.
Main Conflict: Freya’s conflict with herself, finding the will to live.
Old Ways: Walled, isolated, cantankerous, selfish, lost her will to live, haunted by past memories that she can’t explain
New Ways: Curious about the Caretaker, Let’s wall down to share dreams, Discovers her past life, has the evidence to absolve an innocent man, needs to fight for survival of the storm, brave, finds the will to live – released from her guilt
Act 1:
Opening: A horrific car accident – a car crashes off a bridge and sinks into the dark murky water. A woman bobs to the surface, she can’t swim. Struggles to shore, ends up just only saving herself.
Inciting Incident: Mourning and unable to go back to work, Freya flees to an isolated island to grieve.
Turning Point: Freya learns about the legend of the island, a mother and child murdered by the husband/father – she commits to solving the mystery
Act 2:
New plan: Freya becomes obsessed with solving the mystery of Lisbeth and Hanna.
Plan in action: Freya pushes her boundaries to explore the island. She finds her belongings in the cottage have been ransacked … is she imagining it or is someone else on the island?
Midpoint Turning Point: She is confronted by the only other inhabitant on the island, the “Caretaker”. He warns her she must leave to save her life. But there’s a deep unexplainable connection/attraction between Freya and the Caretaker that she can’t explain.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Usually a loner, Freya embraces her new companion to mine for info to reach her goal of solving the mystery of Lisbeth/Hanna and absolve her own guilt.
New plan: She sneaks into Lisbeth’s and Lar’s abandoned home for clues. A picture reveals Lisbeth wearing a one of a kind antique amulet that Freya now wears around her neck.
Turning Point: Freya shares what she knows about the murder. The caretaker tells her she was Lisbeth in a past life, that he brought her here to discover this. She turns her back on the story, tries to flee – a deadly storm is coming and there is no way off the island.
Act 4:
New Plan: Join forces with the caretaker and together focus on survival and getting off the island alive. She has to face her fear of water when the only means is to restore a dilapidated powerboat.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: The Caretaker confesses his deep seeded love for Freya. Freya and the caretaker struggle to survive as they cross to the mainland, Freya has to find the will to survive and get to the other side.
Resolution: Freya wakes up, washed up to shore. When rescued, she asks for the Caretaker, but there is no evidence that he ever existed on the island or boat with her. She discovers he was the spirit of Lars (Lisbeth’s husband) that has been stuck in this life wracked with guilt from wife/daughter’s death … by absolving Lars of the crime by learning the truth from her dreams, Freya enables Lars to cross peacefully to the other side.
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(Nancy’s) Subtext Plot
My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are more opportunities to create an interesting story by adding subtext.
Concept:: A grieving war correspondent discovers she’s the reincarnated wife of the legendary fugitive killer that she’s investigating.
Subtext Plots: Layering and Superior Position
Layering: We will ultimately learn at the end of the story that Lars, the caretaker and antagonist, is actually the spirit of the alleged fugitive Freya is investigating (no one is aware he too died with his family). As Freya investigates the fugitive, layers begin to reveal it is the same person – Lars (the caretaker). We will discover at the end that Freya is the reincarnated wife of the fugitive and through a series of clues (her memories/dreams) not only will she absolve her fugitive husband as her killer this will give spirit Lars the peace to cross over.
Superior: as clues are revealed, the audience will know that Lars is the spirit of the alleged deceased fugitive, then he will discover it and help Freya to find those memories and clues that absolve him of the murder of his wife/children without Freya knowing who he is. Ultimately she will discover who she is, and then the connection she has to Lars in a previous life.
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Nancy’s Transformational Journey
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>My Vision: To create a polished portfolio and and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that laying out the transformational journey for your characters, it creates a clear pathway from start of script to finish.
Protagonist: FREYA
Arc Beginning: Walled workaholic overcome with guilt/loss
Arc Ending: She has helped the caretaker to absolve his guilt and pass over, shifted focus to living and resolved her guilt
Internal Journey: From suffering with survivor’s guilt to finding the will to live again.
External Journey: From reluctantly investigating the mystery of a fugitive to discovering the truth that releases the fugitive from his guilty fate.
Old Ways:
War correspondent forced to do a “fluff” piece to have a mental break
Walled, isolated, not interested in digging in – cantankerous
Lost her will to live
Writer’s block
Haunted by past memories that she can’t explain
New Ways:
Curious about the Caretaker
Let’s wall down to share dreams
Discovers her past life
Has the evidence to absolve a guilty man
Needs to fight for survival of the storm
Brave, finds the will to live – released from her guilt
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Subject Line: Nancy’s Intentional Lead Characters
Vision: To create a polished portfolio and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
What I learned doing this assignment is that the characters in my head for this story were flat until I added dimension and elements that were unique.
Title: Survivor’s Guilt
Loglines:
Protagonist: Freya (protagonist) is a guilt ridden investigative reporter that absolves a fugitive killer when she discovers she’s the reincarnation of the wife he allegedly killed.
Antagonist: Lars (antagonist) is the ornery, hermit caretaker that creates conflict for Freya by forcing her to look at her past and discover who she is, while hiding his own identity.
Triangle: An isolated island is the triangle character. It offers solace and information to Freya but has trapped Lars and it brings the two together.
How are they unique:
Character: FREYA ALSTAD. Highly respected war correspondent mourning loss of her husband and child.
Logline: Mourning war correspondent takes an assignment that leads her to discover she’s the reincarnated wife of an alleged fugitive killer from the past.
Unique: Faced a war zone but deathly afraid of water
Character: LARS OHLSON. A manipulative caretaker hiding out on an isolated island hiding his identity.
Logline: Lost hermit caretaker meets Freya and must put aside his loner ways to save her physically and emotionally before he can find peace.
Unique: Unknowingly, he’s the deceased alleged fugitive killer that Freya is investigating, that can’t pass over until Freya clears his name.
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Subject Line: Nancy’s Title, Concept, and Character Structure!
“What I learned from doing this assignment is that the character structure helps drive the process.
Vision: To leverage the foundation of my writing career that I began five years ago and stay empowered to write everyday, even when it is difficult. To create a polished portfolio and and do whatever it takes to get a manager, and then sell multiple TV and or feature scripts.
Title: Playing with 3…
<font face=”Arial”>Favorite Title 1: Survivor’s Guilt</font>Favorite Title 2: Past Wife<font face=”Arial”>
</font>Favorite Title 3: If Memory Serves
Concept: A grieving reporter is convinced she’s the reincarnated wife of the legendary fugitive killer that she’s investigating.
Character Structure: Protagonist vs Antagonist
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I was most struck by the commitment to be empowered to do the exercises quickly. In the past, I have procrastinated… now I will look at it as fun and a challenge to strike while the iron is hot. For me, don’t over think = progress. Leveraging empowerment to keep going was very eye opening. Looking forward.
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Nancy Meyer
I agree to the terms set forthGROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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1. Nancy
2. I have written 3 scripts, 1 was optioned
3. BW 5, MSC 14, 30-day script, contained and several others
4. I would like to have a polished script for my portfolio to be more marketable
5. I’ve moved about 20 times in my life and once again this friday! -
Nancy’s Funny Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that comedy is structure and craft. And it’s much easier to understand that on the page then on the screen!BRIDESMAIDS – Opening Continuous Scene
LESSON #1
EXT. UPSCALE MODERN HOME – NIGHT
The ultimate bachelor pad. A Porsche is parked in front of it.
ANNIE (O.S.) I’m so glad you called.
TED (O.S.) I’m so glad you were free.
ANNIE (O.S.) I love your eyes.
TED (O.S.) Cup my balls.
ANNIE (O.S.) Ok, yes, alright, I can do that.
TED (O.S.) Oh, there it is!
NOTE: There is incongruity when it seems both Ted and Annie are equally in it for the same reason – Annie wants romance. Ted wants his own pleasure.
INT. BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
ANNIE WALKER, mid 30’s, is having sweaty sex with TED, handsome, 40. In a series of close-ups and jump cuts, we see Annie in the middle of a very long, vigorous session.
ANNIE Oh, that feels good.
TED You know what to do!
ANNIE I’m so glad I got to see you again.
JUMP CUT to see she’s now bouncing on top of him.
ANNIE (CONT’D) Oh yes! (then, looking concerned) Uh, okay, wait, hold on. You and I are on different rhythms I think.
TED I want to go fast!
ANNIE Oh, Okay. Sure—
He bounces Annie SUPER FAST.
NOTE: Set-up – Annie says “You and I are on different rhythms I think.” Indicating they are coming from two different places/frames of mind. Incongruence between each other.
INT. CLEAN, UPSCALE MODERN BATHROOM – MORNING
Annie stands in front of a mirror in nice lingerie. She puts on lotion, make-up, brushes her hair, mascara, etc. She getting ready to… Creep back into the bed, where Ted is still sleeping. She gets in and begins to position herself to show her good parts. Coughs and nudges Ted to wake him up.
Annie quickly pretends she’s still asleep. He taps her.
ANNIE (gasps/ pretending) Oh! I was having a nightmare, I was so scared. Good Morning.
TED Good morning. You look beautiful.
ANNIE (acting embarrassed) What? No. I’m sure I look terrible. I just woke up. I’m sure I’m a mess.
TED You slept over.
ANNIE I did.
TED I thought we had a rule against that.
ANNIE …oh.
TED I’m kidding.
ANNIE Oh, that’s funny. You’re funny in the morning.
TED I like hanging out with you.
ANNIE I love hanging out with you. I think we get along really well. And you’re so sexy…
TED I know. Look, I just have a lot coming up at work. And I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.
ANNIE We’re on the same page. I’m not looking for a relationship right now either, let’s just say that. Whatever you want, I can do. I like “simple”, I’m not like the other girls who would be like “be my boyfriend!” Unless you were like, “yeah!”, then I’d be like “maybe”.
They hug tightly and he kisses her deeply. Then he lets her go. Stares at her…
TED Wow, this is awkward. I really want you to leave but I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a dick.
ANNIE (speechless) Oh. Annie stares. Awkward moment leading into …
NOTE: Annie fixes herself up and pretends she was sleeping. She thinks he’s sending positive messages with the hug, kidding that they “had a rule against this”… and then the punchline that he wants to ask her to leave but doesn’t want to sound like a dick… but he does anyway.
-
Hello,
I’m Nancy and I have written 2 TV pilots, 1 feature draft and hoping this class will help me shape a new idea that seems to be lending itself to comedy. I have completed MSC 14 and BW4.
Unique? I created and owned my own fitness business and ran it for 10 years before pursuing my passion for writing.
Nancy
-
This is a long scene but it leads up to the first act turning point so there is a lot to unpack:
EXT. CHATEAU BEAUVAIS – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Sun completing its descent. Hidden outside, someone watches through CROSSHAIRS. A dining table elaborately set for four. The focus moves, and follows Reina as she enters, relaxed, pours a glass of wine.
She approaches the window… soaks in the view. For a beat, we wonder if she sees the shooter.
INT. CHATEAU BEAUVAIS – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
The sound of multiple footfalls, an air of tense anticipation, Reina’s hand quivers around the glass. Nonno and Marie enter, she exhales.
MARIE
You look rested.
NONNO
Did you get out, tool around?
REINA
Yeah, wow, I forgot how much I love it here. No sign of Isa.
Nonno catches the heat in her cheeks.
NONNO
She’s so excited, she’ll barely recognize you…
(off Marie’s glare)
I mean, how much you’ve grown up.
Reina bristles.
EXT. CHATEAU BEAUVAIS – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Our shooter fixes on the doorway as —
INT. CHATEAU BEAUVAIS – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Isa appears, like an airless sprite. The world stands still, the sisters’ faces young and naive, they’re back to THAT NIGHT.
Isa steps forward, she takes Reina’s face in her hands, looks deep into her eyes. She knows she’s in there. Reina’s face crumbles, she’s eight again, she falls into Isa’s arms.
EXT. CHATEAU BEAUVAIS – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
The shooter watches as the sisters hold fast, Reina blocking the clean shot. Isa breaks free, squeezes Reina’s hands, words are exchanged.
As Reina walks away, Isa turns toward the window, faces out. Her pale face framed for the shot — then she yanks the curtains shut. Blackout.
INT. CHATEAU BEAUVAIS – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
They sit around the table, an air of relief, celebration. Nonno fills glasses. He gestures ‘cheers’ and they follow.
NONNO
It’s good to have you home, all of us together around the table.
The two sisters share an emotional look, happiness wrapped in pain of the past. Isa kicks out a labored smile.
ISA
You look good, healthy.
REINA
You mean fat.
MARIE
She means beautiful.
NONNO
(to Reina)
Do you have a boyfriend? I keep telling Isa she needs to get out from behind the desk and under a nice fellow.
Huge eyes around the table, Marie playfully slaps him.
MARIE
Isa doesn’t have time for dating and I suspect Reina doesn’t either.
NONNO
All I’m saying is work, work, work is no way to start a family. I’d like to be a great uncle.
Reina looks to one, and then the other, in disbelief.
REINA
Please, enough with the bullshit… stop playing house, like nothing is wrong. I look around here, looks like nothing’s changed… but everything’s changed. It’ll never be the same. So enough, please, I’m here and I can’t stay for very long, so tell me, what the fuck is going on?
NONNO
Reina, my baby, you just got here. Why can’t you stay?
REINA
Because I have a life Nonno, back in New York, and a job after graduation. You sent me away —
ISA
To a prestigious boarding school, you weren’t abandoned.
(a breath)
Maybe this was a mistake.
Marie looks at Isa.
MARIE
You owe her the truth.
Isa looks down, knows what to say, but doesn’t know how. Isa opens her mouth as a portly female COOK carries a covered dish and sets in on the table. Feels the tension, looks around, scurries away.
A moment of expectation, that doesn’t get fulfilled.
GLASS SHATTERS. The sound of a million dishes hitting the tile. Nonno rises from his chair, but Isa gestures ‘stop’. She listens, high alert, but plays it cool. She calls out.
ISA
Everything ok?
No answer. Reina begins to panic. Nonno and Marie frozen, but remarkably calm.
Without warning, a bullet burns a hole through the curtain, sails overhead, hits a china cabinet across the room. Glass SHATTERS everywhere. Reina screams as everyone scatters, except her, she’s paralyzed.
Marie, Nonno and Isa execute a well choreographed ballet of STOP, DROP and ROLLS to take cover, each drawing a weapon hidden in their clothing.
Reina drops to the floor, crawls under the table, hysterical.
REINA
Holy shit, holy shit… what’s happening? Oh my god, oh my god, we’re gonna die. Isa? Isa? What are you doing? Get away from the window. Where’s your phone, call the police. Jesus, what’s going… Marie? Nonno?
ISA
Stay calm, Reina!
Isa and Nonno crouch, flank the window, exchange gun fire as Marie goes to Reina, tries to soothe her. It seems to go on forever, Reina barely able to handle it a minute longer, when all goes quiet.
They wait. For a beat. And then another. The curtain in shreds, Nonno peeks out and sees Luc loading something, or someone, into the bed of his truck. Nonno nods at Isa.
They turn, assess the damage, destruction everywhere. Isa gasps. Nonno rushes to Marie and Reina, still hidden under the table. And out of nowhere, a mass of a man knocks Isa to the floor, sends her gun sliding.
It stops inches from a quaking Reina. Hate in his eyes, the thug sits on Isa’s torso, his gun resting between her eyes.
THUG
This was supposed to be a warning, you little bitch, and now look what’ve you’ve done. You know what you just did? You just shot my brother, he’s fucking dead. Oh, daddy’s not going to be happy.
He taunts her, nuzzle the cold barrel against her cheek.
THUG
No one moves, or its lights out. So I can make it real easy, and end your misery… or he’ll care of you, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.
Reina’s watches, helpless, her breath clipped. She inches from the gun, but afraid to move.
MARIE
(whispers)
Take the gun, Reina.
And when she doesn’t move.
MARIE
This isn’t a fucking joke Reina, get the fucking gun and shoot him.
REINA
What?! I can’t just… shoot him. What if I miss?
The thug whacks Isa across the face.
Reina throws a hand to her mouth, tears stream down her face, a trembling hand reaches for the gun. She feels the weight, aims, her finger quivers on the trigger.
But she can’t do it.
NONNO
You have to.
A painfully long beat. CLOSE ON Reina as she fires the gun several times… and for a moment we don’t see what she’s hit. Until we see, a broken vase, a riddled buffet and gutted sconce. The thug, unscathed, looks around, laughs.
Cocks his pistol.
THUG
Say goodbye.
Without warning, Reina hurls the gun, it hits him hard on the side of the head, he falls to the side.
MARIE
Good girl, that’ll work.
Isa flips her legs up, hooks her boots around his neck and yanks him back, and as he falls to the floor, Isa reaches for the pistol, but it’s too late. He’s out the window.
Reina remains under the table, frozen senseless. Isa lifts the table cloth, looks under, sighs.
ISA
Are you ok? Talk to me Reina, Are you hurt?
Reina, in shock, just shakes her head ‘no’.
ISA
Well, good, yeah, holy shit, yeah, me too.
(off Reina’s dead stare)
Well don’t just sit there, let’s clean up this fucking mess.
Reina processes.
REINA
You have guns in the house.
-
Reluctantly she turns, sets focus on the distant blur of uptown traffic as he steps back into the bar, confused. She inserts earbuds, plays music, thoughts somewhere else.
A young gang member appears, leers her from behind. Focused on her backpack, he watches her slight stagger down the dark, empty block. He’s in pursuit, pace quickens.
Now, he’s behind her. Reina stops, listens, and so does he.
A beat.
Reina pivots slowly, and without warning, he grabs the strap of her bag, spins her to the ground as he pulls for its release. But she holds it, fights for it. With a knuckled fist, he slugs her across the cheek. But she won’t give up.
He tears away, struggles with the weight of his haul. Pushing the filthy concrete away, Reina lifts her weight, steadies, takes chase. Fast, really fast.
Street corner, he thinks he’s free, slows his pace. Suddenly, she’s right behind me, her hands reach for the bag, yanks, fiery adrenaline grapples with him. He belts her.
Reina stumbles back, but hugs the bag to chest, a full-force elbow blow to keep him away — he punches her in the jaw, the bag slams to concrete as she eats curb. He runs.
She rolls onto her back, clutches the bag to her chest, closes her eyes, and sounds a guttural cry. When she opens them, the headlight glare of a downtown bus burns her eyes.
-
What I learned doing this assignment is that focus on the character and eliciting emotions from the audience with their actions actually helps create an inherent arc for the scene.
Anxiety: Reina is up to a challenging bet to make four consecutive bullseyes while playing darts in front of her grad school peers.
Fear: She is blindfolded throwing the darts and a fellow student sits a hair below the bullseye, and then she turns around to launch the last dart.
Relief: The dart lands flawlessly nestled with the previous three. The student guinea pig is unscathed and Reina wins the bet.
INT. EAST VILLAGE – DIVE BAR – NIGHT
Dim lighting, muffled conversation, and laughter. The sound system emits a throwback tune from the seventies. What it could be if it weren’t for the hoodie-wearing, hip grad students and the ubiquitous presence of iPhones.
And across the room, a razor-sharp dart soars through the air, slow motion. With precision, it hits a bullseye.
The sound of high fives and bets placed. A second dart takes launch, fast, a solid target hit. Nervous energy and student spectators wrap around the thrower — a tipsy, but uber-focused REINA (early 20s) in a blindfold.
POP. The third sharp tip lands snuggly with the others. Drawn in by the excitement, other students join the betting circle.
A hush falls.
Reina rolls the barrel of the dart between her fingers, calculates. We follow her eye line to the board and see a MALE STUDENT perched nervously on a barstool, eyes closed — his head less than an inch below the nestled darts.
He rubs his palms into his jeans, breath uneven, as Reina cocks the final dart back to throw, then stops.
REINA
Don’t. Move. I’ve never hit four in a row.
A pink-haired FEMALE STUDENT pushes forward.
FEMALE STUDENT
I knew it, pay up.
A pause. Reina turns her back to the board, smirks, shakes her head ‘no’, and places her left hand under her right elbow, cocked in a 90-degree angle, steadies the dart. She turns the dart over, so the point faces the board.
Before her, eyes grow wide. Some hide them. Without warning, she launches the dart over her shoulder.
THUD. A collective sigh. The posse of fans cheer, produce their bets.
Reina pulls down the blindfold, looks over her shoulder, and smiles. She collects her winnings, walks to the board, counts the bills. She hands the stash to the perched victim.
REINA
You’re a brave son of a bitch, even if it was a dare. Here, it’s yours.
He’s too stunned to respond, and a little drunk.
Reina turns, beelines for an empty booth that sits in a dark corner. She pours a pint from a half-empty pitcher, drains it, and then throws a twenty on the table.
She drags a laden backpack off the sticky floor and pushes through bodies to the exit. They pat her back, try to talk, but she ignores any spark of conversation or connection.
-
I learned that I can go back and make every scene more exciting by adding a twist.
Lesson #9
Safety >>>> Danger
Reina is seconds from grabbing a taxi to head home, she’s attacked from behind
Poor >>>> Gets Worse
A huge storm leaves Reina/Isa home without power, and then they find out their parents were killed in an accident allegedly due to the weather
Safety >>>> Danger
Reina drives her bicycle along quaint roads in the countryside and is chased by a motorbike, and almost run off the road
Danger >>>> Unexpected Resources
Reina flees for her life, almost run off the road, when Luc appears to protect her from the danger
Identity Hidden >>>> Identity exposed
Reina’s sister is actually an assassin and so is the rest of her family
-
I already have a draft of this script complete and was happy that I had already built in all of these elements into the story already, but was helpful to list them out and structure them.
LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY
1. When she wins the bet in the bar, she gives most of the money to someone else, leaving with only $20 in her pocket
2. When a guy wants to leave with her, she protects him – “I’m not good company right now”
3. She’s an ambitious attorney striving to seek justice, when she gives a final statement of mock trial she’s in tears for the victim
4. She rushes home to be with her sister, puts her life on hold
5. She bonds with a young girl who has lost her mother
6. She refuses to kill an innocent man, saves him instead
EMPATHY/DISTRESS
1. She’s attacked, gets hit in the head
2. We learn her parents are dead
3. Her sister and their home are in danger
4. Has to shoot someone to save her sister
5. Put in position to “lie”, which is against her moral code
6. Set up to kill an innocent man when her life’s passion is to seek justice
7. She finally opens up to love, and his life is threatened
8. Discovers her sister is not only ill, but she’s also dying, and there’s nothing she can do to save her
9. Discovers her parents were murdered
JUSTIFICATION
1. She’s attacked by a mugger
2. Head of French mob is extorting her sister/family and destroying the family’s business and livelihood
3. She shoots a man because he is about to kill her sister
4. She’s finally in love and needs to protect the innocent man she loves
5. Her parents were murdered
ACT 1
L/L
1. When she wins the bet in the bar, she gives most of the money to someone else, leaving with only $20 in her pocket
2. When a guy wants to leave with her, she protects him – “I’m not good company right now”
3. She’s an ambitious attorney striving to seek justice, when she gives final statement of mock trial she’s in tears for victim
4. She rushes home to be with her sister, puts her life on hold
E/D
1. She’s attacked, gets hit in the head
2. We learn her parents are dead
3. Her sister and their home are in danger
4. Has to shoot someone to save her sister
J
1. She’s attacked by a mugger
2. Head of French mob is extorting her sister/family and destroying the family’s business and livelihood
3. She shoots a man because he is about to kill her sister
ACT 2
L/L
1. She bonds with a young girl who has lost her mother
E/D
1. Put in position to “lie”, which is against her moral code
2. Set up to kill an innocent man when her life’s passion is to seek justice
ACT 3
L/L
1. She refuses to kill an innocent man, saves him instead
E/D
1. She finally opens up to love, and his life is threatened
2. Discovers her sister is not only ill, she’s dying, and there’s nothing she can do to save her
3. Discovers her parents were murdered
J
1. She’s finally in love and needs to protect the innocent man she loves
2. Seeks revenge to save parents legacy, who were murdered
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Nancy’s Story Map
What I learned doing this assignment: Creating a map for the story helps keep flow and interest at the highest level.
OPENING:
· A1. Skill Discovery: After many drinks, Reina is able to hit a bullseye in darts every time
· A2. Fight: On her way out of the bar, Reina is attacked but is able to outrun and attack the attacker
· A3. Assassination: Isa kills a target – insight into Reina’s family
INCITING INCIDENT:
· V1. Threatens/Burns vines
· A4. Fight: Isa confronts thugs/arson in the vines as they go up in flames
· M1: Isa recruits Reina home to help save their family’s legacy: the vineyard
· V2. Attempts to drive N/Colette off the road
· A5. Pursuit: After Reina is picked up at the airport by Nonno and Colette, Reina is thrown in the middle of a car chase
FIRST TURNING POINT ACT 1:
· A6. Mob seeks warning, chases, runs Reina off country roads
· V3. Sends attackers into the house
· A7. Isa/Nonno/Colette fight off the thugs, Reina shoots a thug
· M2: Reina seeks the truth about who Isa is/family
· M3: Reina seeks to get justice for the family
· A8: Series of action scenes as Isa trains Reina to fight
MIDPOINT:
· V4: Mob head offers Isa an ultimatum, complete a final mission in order to release Isa from his grip, but Isa is too weak to accept the mission herself
· M4: Reina reluctantly accepts a mission to kill a target to help save her sister and her family
SECOND TURNING POINT:
· M5: Reina sets out to prove Noah’s innocence.
· V5: Places a bounty on Noah’s head when Reina falls in love with him instead of completing the mission
· A9: Reina has to fight off Luc trying to complete hitch when Reina can’t
· A10: Reina and Noah have to fight off a series of the mob’s men to save Noah’s daughter
· M6: Reina sets out to save Noah & Sadie
· A10. Escape: Reina and Noah evade another bounty hunter as they make their way to the boat, zip away as bullets fly
· A11: Reina & Noah fight off thugs to save Sadie
CRISIS
· M7: Reina turns her back on sister/family to save the man she loves
CLIMAX:
· V6: Head of French mob plans attack on Isa/vineyard in revenge
· M8: Isa and Reina work together to track down the head of the French mob
· M9: Isa goes in and pretends to surrender
· A12: Reina/Isa pursue head of mob as he flees, he runs off the road to a fiery death
· A13: Thugs arrive at the vineyard, Reina/Isa light on fire and burn it to the ground ??
RESOLUTION:
· V7: Son of French mob seeks revenge
· A14: Final showdown, Isa protects Reina/Noah/Sadie
· M10: Isa hands Reina the keys to the assassin business with clues and choice to seek revenge or the death of their parents
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Nancy’s Action Structure
Lesson #6
What I learned: Since my story is an action/drama, I needed to go back to my original draft and tease out more punch from the action already created, and more drama from the main characters.
Opening:
Reina, 23-year-old law student throws darts in a pub, landing a bulls eye one after the other, pull back and reveal that two other students stand, flanking the bulls eye inches away, in participation of a drunken bar bet. Reina collects her winnings, stumbles out of the bar where she’s chased down by a street gang. With quick moves, she avoids a wielded knife and easily outruns them to safety.
Question: Who is Reina and why does she have these special skills?
Inciting Incident:
Reina’s sister, Isa, convinces her to return to her family home to help her save their family’s wine vineyard from bankruptcy, a cover for the true business that is failing – an assassin business.
First Turning Point in Act 1:
A shootout erupts at the family home, as bullets fly Reina shockingly discovers that she’s the legacy to a family assassin business and now she must train to kill in order to save it, and her family.
Midpoint:
Reluctant and ill prepared, Reina goes undercover as an au pair for the daughter of her target, Noah, that she’s been tasked to kill… a mission set forth by the head of the French mafia. Completing the hit is the only way she can set the family free.
Second Turning Point at the end of Act 2:
After discovering the truth that her target is innocent, Reina and Noah have to fight for their lives when a bounty is placed on Noah’s head, and she changes her mission to save him and his daughter. Not only has she failed to save her family, she now has to save the man she loves.
Crisis:
Does Reina complete the kill to save her family, or turn her back on her sick sister and their legacy to protect the man she is supposed to kill? Not only does she decide to save him, she convinces her sister Isa to join her to track down the villain and call off the bounty.
Climax:
Reina and Isa work together to kill the head of the French mob, sending him on an escape that ultimately leads to an accident and his fiery death.
Resolution:
Noah is innocent and the villain has been eliminated, but his son is out for revenge… Isa will make one final kill to save her sister and Noah before she goes into hiding and gives Reina one last choice – be free and pursue your dreams of being “normal” or follow a new lead to seek revenge for the death of her parents.
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Nancy’s Action Track!
I learned that it is easy to come up with ideas for action sequences, but much harder for those sequences to be unique.
1. Types of Action that Could Work
bike/moped chases, martial arts, car chases, shoot outs2. Types of Action
Chase/pursuit, Fight, Shootout, Escape, Dangerous situations· Skill Discovery: After many drinks, Reina is able to hit a bullseye in darts every time
o Purpose: Her reckless behavior has unveiled superior hand-eye coordination skills
· Fight: On her way out of the bar, Reina is attacked by two muggers with weapons, while they are stronger than her, she is surprisingly able to defend herself and run very fast away.
o Reina may be more than meets the eye, special skills to escape an attack.
· Assassination: Isa kills
o Purpose: To see the sisters have special skills, if Isa has them Reina might too
· Fight: Isa confronts arson in the vines as they go up in flames.
o Purpose: Intro vineyard, showcase Isa’s weaknesses, set up the need for Reina to come home.
· Pursuit: After Reina is picked up at the airport by Nonno and Meme, Reina is thrown in the middle of a car chase.
o Purpose: To bring Reina into an unexpected world of danger.
· Dangerous Situation: Reina on a joyful bike ride, almost run off the road by scooter
o Purpose: Insight into Reina as a fish out of water in new environment.
· Shootout: Mob attacks from outside the home while Reina hunkers under the table is disbelief, Luc finishes the fight from the outside.
o Purpose: TP, Reina is now brought into the world of kill for hire and everyone else is in on it.
· The Preparation: With no choice but to send Reina into the field, Isa train Reina to kill
o Purpose: Reina has assassin skills.
· Competition: During training, Isa trying to prove she’s still the best
o Purpose: Increase conflict between the sisters.
· Rescue: Isa or Reina goes over the edge of a cliff on the way to the assignment, one of them has to rescue.
o Purpose: Demonstrate that Reina is ready for the assignment and has the genetic skill shared by the family.
· Fight: Luc comes to finish the job when Reina can’t, kung fu.
o Purpose: Reina chooses to protect Noah over one of her own.
· When a bounty is placed on Noah’s head, Reina & Noah come home to Teresa tied up and Sadie hiding, and have to fight off a bounty hunter.
o Purpose: Reina and Noah working together now.
· Escape: Reina and Noah evade another bounty hunter as they make their way to the boat, zip away as bullets fly.
o Purpose: New direction, Reina needs to protect Noah by eliminating the thug who issued the hit and the bounty on Noah’s head.
· Escape: After putting Noah/Sadie in a car, Reina hijacks a car to escape at the dock
o Purpose: Reina will confront her sister, fight for love.
· Isa goes to the head of the mob under the guise of surrender, Isa nearly killed, Reina chooses to let him go to help her sister. They pursue, he’s run off the road.
o Purpose: Isa and Reina have united to free the mob’s hold on Isa and their home.
· Revenge: Reina and Noah a target, Isa makes her final kill to save them before handing the keys to the business over to Reina.
o Purpose: Present a dilemma: Reina could choose to be “out” or pursue the killers of her parents as revenge.
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<div>Nancy’s Villain Track</div>
What I learned: This is helping me think through pieces of an existing script that will help elevate it using the proper Action conventions.
How Do I Kill Thee?
A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan
is pre-existing to seek revenge for a hit the Beauvais family made on one
of the Head of the French mob’s men (brother).
Head of
French mob is extorting Isa to gain control of her land, get her out of
business – Isa must pay him or he’ll kill her and the family.
Ruin Isa’s
vines so her business fails and she’s no longer able to pay her debt,
leaving her in a weak, vulnerable position.B. How many ways can the Villain attack
or destroy the hero?
Psychological:
threaten her life, threaten Nonno & Meme’s lives, destroy her vines,
put her out of business, and when she is unable to meet her debts…
Physical: Try to
drive Nonno & Memo off the road, send thugs to kill everyone at the
house offers an opportunity for freedom by killing an innocent man, send
men to ambush Reina and Noah put a hit on Noah that she will have to
defend, kill the maid and kidnap Noah’s child, lure Reina and Isa to track
him to his home for a final standoff.C. What
advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this
movie?Plenty
of money at his disposal to pay people to kill, plenty of weaponsD. What
would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve
done?Forced to drink the Beauvais poisonous
wine, the one that brings on a slow, painful death, as his house burns to
the ground.Labels:
Revenge: When Isa kills the Head of the French mob’s brother, he seeks revenge.
Psychological Control: Instead of killing Isa outright, he demands payments that she finds harder and harder to make due to her failing health (dried up contracts) and failing business.
Decision/Torture Her: He makes her suffer, wants her to surrender the land. When she is unable to make her debts and fear for her life, he vows to kill the ones she loves. He tries to drive Nonno, Meme, and Reina off the road. Then has men attack them at their home.
Plan/Alternate Tactic: He makes Isa an offer with mutual benefit – kill the one person who is a witness and all debts will be erased, or he will destroy her, the chateau, and the family.
Obstacle: Isa sends Reina in instead. When she refuses to kill the target, he puts a bounty on the target’s head, now Reina will have to protect him.
Attack: Multiple hitmen are now after the target. They try and drive Reina/Noah off the road, break into Noah’s home and kill the maid
Retaliation: He orders the daughter held hostage to lure Noah to his home to kill him.
Escape: After the daughter is rescued, he flees to his protected home on the coast, but one wrong turn and he drives off the road to a fiery death.
Revenge: And now his son is out for revenge.
-
Nancy’s Hero’s Mission Track
Clear Mission: Train to be an assassin to save her sister, and the family legacy, from the mob.
Motivation:
When Reina’s parents died, the only thing they left behind was they’re
legacy – a once thriving wine vineyard. Reina will do whatever she has to save
their memory and land.Inciting
Incident: Almost the entire vineyard is lost to arson, the business crashes
and Isa (Reina’s sister) is no longer able to pay her debts. She needs to
call her sister, Reina, home from NYC to help.First
Action: Reina arrives at airport, Nonno & Meme rush her into a car.
They are hunted down by a motorcycle but Nonno & Meme are able to run
him off the road.Escape:
Reina is unaware, fast asleep in the back of the car. Nonno & Meme clip
the bike, sending it into a deadly accident.Obstacle:
Family knows they are being hunted, with new obstacle of shielding Reina
from the truth. Soon, they’ll have no choice but to tell her.Escalation:
With the death of one of his men, head of the mob sends in more men to
attack the chateau that night.Overwhelming
Odds: Isa is becoming weaker, Nonno & Meme are getting older, and
Reina is a hysterical mess when thugs attack the home… but the Beauvais
family outsmarts them by sending Luc out to flank them from the rear.Twist:
Reina’s family are contract killers, and the truth has been hidden from
her for years. She’s asked to clean
up the mess.New
Plan: Accept Mob head’s offer, kill one last target (a witness that could
send the mob head to jail) and all debts will be erased and the Beauvais’s
keep the land.New
obstacle: Isa is too week to complete the mission, Reina will be sent in
before she is ready… but Isa has to keep it quiet.Twist: Reina is unable to complete the
kill, she has to fight off her own sister who tries to do it for her.Apparent defeat: The mob puts a $1 mm bounty
on Noah’s head when they fail to kill him by the deadline.Reina and Noah get ambushed on the
highway, as
Thugs break into Noah’s home, kill
guards in front, Teresa is killed
Reina and Noah – who is ex -military – fight
off the thugs and flee with Sadie.Escalating action: Reina brings Noah and
Sadie to Chateau wine caves for safety, Reina and Isa head out the hunt
the head of the mob (need action here)Full out Attack: Track the mob head (where?)
to a posh hotel, Reina sneaks in dressed as a maid. (not sure of action
yet). Mobster is about the kill Reina, Noah arrives and takes him out.Success:
Reina, Noah and Sadie are a family. Isa executes one last mission – the
one that will save Noah from the son of the head of the mob who discovered
he killed his father. Isa leaves Reina with the choice to go back to
living her normal life or stay in France and track down those who killed
her parents and seek revenge. -
What I learned: The existing action script I am working on is missing a number of conventions and this process is helping me smooth out the story and answer questions:
Hero Morally Right: Reina schooled in justice will fight to save her sister and family legacy.
<u style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Villain Morally Wrong: Head of French mob uses extortion to maintain control over Isa and family property.
a. Hero: Reina, nerves of steel, intense loyalty, lightning-fast reflexes will seek justice at all costs
b. Motivation: Save her sister, their legacy and revenge for the murder of her parents.
c. Secret or wound: Feels deep abandonment from death of parents, isolation from her family.
Villain: Head of French mob from Marseille
a. Unbeatable: Plenty of money for resources to threaten Reina/Isa and family, put up unlimited money for a hit if necessary.
b. Plan/Goal: Drive Isa out of business to take over the land, hire her to kill the one man who has evidence to stop him/put him away.
c. What they lose if Hero survives: Isa dies, the whole family may die and then they lose their family legacy – the wine vineyard. By the time it is done, Reina becomes a skilled killer and eliminates the head of the mob (or son to set up the next one).
Impossible Mission: Reina is going to kill the head of the French mob, if she can find him, but she’s can’t let him know who she is.
a. Puts the hero in action: Reina must train to be an assassin to help her sister, complete the next mission and hunt down the head of the French mob to kill him.
b. Demands they go beyond their best: Reina will have to train in all the skills of an assassin and be willing to take a life.
c. Destroy the Villain: Reina will try to get close to the villain without him suspecting who she is, she needs to win his trust and kill him.
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I, Nancy Meyer, agree to the terms of this release.
GROUP RELEASE FORM FOR “Writing Killer Action Scripts” CLASS
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That everyone’s work here is copyrighted and they are the sole
owner of that work. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this
group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that
idea.2. That this program is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun and I will not share,
disclose, present, or deliver the information, design, and writing of this
program to anyone for any reason without written permission from Hal Croasmun.
3. That I will keep the other writers’ ideas and writing confidential
(including Hal’s materials) and will not share this information with
anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner.
I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone
outside this group.4. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or
have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can
independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or
movie idea.5. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for
any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted
work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from
marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents,
managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment
industry organizations or people.This completes the Group Release Form for Writing Killer Action Scripts.
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Concept: A self-centered woman must join forces with her rival sister to save the family “wine” business, only to discover it’s a cover for a hit-for-hire operation and her sister’s life is on the line.
Hero: A damaged, self-centered woman (attorney/FBI agent/CIA agent – still deciding) who’s highly intuitive, and tenacious who stops at nothing to get what she wants
Demand For Action: Reina must assassinate a target to pay a debt or her sister will die.
Mission: To pay off her sister’s debt to save the family legacy and her sister.
Antagonist: Head of the French mob.
Escalating Action: attack/fire to their vines, attack by thugs sent by mob head, car chases, a standoff with the mob head himself