[Natasha Le Petit]

I LOVE the high speed writing rules and its for me the only way to write and get to the end. I have, like probably many writers, self doubt and a negative voice, and I find sitting and writing as quickly as possible, just blocks that out. It’s almost a panic when I write at times because I know I can’t afford to hear that negative voice. High speed writing is the BEST!! I also know that the real story comes from editing and re-drafting, so even if I write something I know is not great, I know that I will fix it later.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Mod 3 – lesson 8 Empathy

What I learnt is that I need to not only make my characters empathetic but to show them actively trying to change their situation (but often more problems come down on them…creating more empathy).

I realise I need to show one of my protagonists being more proactive in how she gets out. I also need to emphasise more how lonely Joe feels – he sees his family pulling away.

Abby is trapped, alone in an isolated property and doesn’t know how to get out. She feels betrayed and abandoned by her mother. Her mother chooses her husband over her daughter. Abbey is afraid and has only a priest to talk to.

Joe is a ten year old boy. He has grown up in poverty, father in jail, parents fight all the time. His mother checks out, his father goes missing. When they move everyone seems happy except Joe. He is only ten and feels like he’s not being heard. The only person he can talk to is his grandmother but his father stops all contact. We see how lonely he is. He is also sensitive and kind and doesn’t fit in with the local boys who bullies him.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Mod 3 – Lesson 7: Mysteries and Open Loops

What I learnt in this assignment is to go back and make sure there are enough mysteries and open loops in each act, and if not look for areas to add.

Look through your outline to see if you can build in at least one mystery and open loop into each Act of your outline.

3. Add those to the Outline.

4. Tell us which Open Loops and Mysteries you’ve added and the effect on the interest level of the outline.

Mysteries –

Why is Abbey trapped in this house? Who is she? Who is holding her captive? Why won’t her mother call her back?

Who is shooting at Joe?

Who are ‘they’ that Father Thomas are coming to get into the house?

Why did Joe become a priest?

Who is Simon really? Who are the union?

Where is Michael?

Who is the strange ghostly figure and why do the leaders have to come at night to watch the children?

What happened to the previous owner?
Why was Sadie the dog so eager to get to the wine cellar?

Open Loops

How will Abbey get out? But if she gets out will her mother take her back in?

Will Joe be able to contact his grandmother?

Will Rhonda change her mind about staying?
will Joe and Maude become friends or will her parents stop that?

Will the boys come back to get Joe again?

How will he defend himself?

What will Doreen do with the brooch she has?

Why are the children not going to normal school? Will we meet Joe’s tutor, who is it?

[Natasha Le Petit]

Mod 3 – Lesson 6:

What I learnt from doing this exercise is just to keep brainstorming all the ways you can add intrigue and set ups leading up to each turning point.

Act 1 – Joe’s dad turns up after being away.
His mother talks about an organisation, where they come to check on the family at night. Joe sees a strange person in his room. He discovers his mother has been having secret meetings and has lied about going to work.

Act 2 – Joe recognises the real estate agent as being in his bedroom the previous night. Abbey receives a threatening visitor who won’t stop banging on the door.
– why have they suddenly got so much money? Joe seems to be the only one confused or wanting to question it? Joe doesn’t like the way the agent touches him, he doesn’t like the way the housekeeper stares at him.
The lights go out in the house and father Thomas tells abbey, ‘they’ are starting earlier.
He warns her not to open the door to anyone.

Act 3 – the neighbourhood boys turn on Joe and threaten him
We see that Joe’s new dog won’t go near any of the family or their friends. In turn, the family despise the dog but Simon is intrigued by the way the dog and Joe get along.
We see a young girl staring at Joe’s window, then at the crowds gathering. We see a figure in the forest following the boys and Joe. We see at first glance, there’s something not right about Sam and Danny. They stand too close to Joe. They take him too far into the forest.

Act 4 – Joe discovers disturbing books/photos in his parents room. Joe’s dad burns Doreen’s number.
We know that the previous owner died. Perhaps he was also a priest? Michael was watching the interaction between Joe and Doreen. We know they don’t like each other.
Abbey comes up against a snake, then a figure holding an axe.
We know she has been told not to leave the property, he can’t protect her outside. She has been warned about the snakes. We know that there is something or someone that was trying to get into the house.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Mod 3 – Lesson 5: Layers and Reveals

What I learnt in this assignment is to not show too much. I have now decided to hold back on information given in one of the earlier scenes. I have also created a ‘surface’ for the organisation that Michael goes to work for. So that it presents itself as something different. I have made our protagonist appear to be something he is not. Creepy, holding someone against their will, when he’s really trying to save them. Presenting Abbey is being held against her will at the house but she is there for rehabilitation. I may change the two boys that attack Joe, to make them appear nice and friendly at the start and then reveal their true nature.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Mod. 3 lesson 4

What I learnt from this assignment is that within the pilot there must be an arc for the characters, we must see a change within them.

Beginning:
10 year old Joe is frightened by his parents fighting, scared his dad is going to lose another job and go back to jail again. <div>

Abbey begs Father Thomas (her captor) to let her go back home. She is trapped and desperate.

<div>

Turning Point:
She finds tools and tries to hot wire the car.

His dad disappears and Joe is told that he has a good job but Joe is doubting it. His grandmother also doubting it.

Midpoint:
Joe’s father turns up, suddenly wealthy and they move to a new house – beyond anything Joe could dream of, but he feels something is not right in the house.
Someone or something sinister is banging at the door. It is relentless, trying to get into the house.

Abbey is afraid for her life.

Turning Point 2:
Joe doesn’t trust the people Michael works for, the neighbours, the housekeeper. He sees his brother is starting to pull away from him also. But he has found one friend who is not allowed to play with anyone. He decides to pursue the friendship anyway.
Abbey decides to escape on foot.

Major Conflict:
Joe wants to go back and live with his grandmother but his family won’t allow it.

Abbey wants to go back to her family but they don’t want her. They won’t even return her calls, even when she is being threatened. </div>

Ending:
The father destroys Joe’s grandmother’s phone number so he can’t call her.
Abbey leaves the property but is stopped by a scary figure holding an axe.
(Dilemma is optional.)

</div>

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learned is that I need to absolutely re-order what I have already done on my pilot. My endings in each act are not gripping enough. This exercise has been extremely helpful.

Mod 3. Lesson 3.

Teaser:

Essence:
Turning Point:

1961. Joe is talking about the hiding spot. Being chased through the house. He hides. He listens to a young woman crying and pleading…

Turning point: The young woman crying and pleading is our protagonist. Its 2021. And she wants to get out of the house. (Later we find out it is Joe who has Brought her there).

Act 1:

Essence:
Joe’s dad gets a mysterious job offer. Then the family don’t see him for weeks.
Turning Point:
Joe’s mum tells him to believe its true and their father will come. She tells him she has been lying about going to work herself. She has met Micheal’s bosses and they come to watch over them every night, when they sleep.

Act 2:

Essence:
Joe’s father picks up the family to move them to a new house in the country. Meanwhile, Abbey is pleading with Father Thomas to let her out.
Turning Point/Midpoint:
Abbey hears strange knocking at the door and is warned not to open it under any circumstances. They are testing her.
Joe realises the ghostly face he saw in his grandmother’s apartment is the real estate agent who is showing them around the property.

Act 3:

Essence:
Joe meets all the neighbours, his new best friend and gets a dog. Abbey decides to rebel against Father Thomas and rips up his garden.
Turning Point:
Abbey receives a mysterious box. Joe learns that the previous owner died on the property and his new dog used to belong to him. He goes to sleep and someone is tapping on his window.

Act 4:

Essence:
Abbey decides to escape the property. When Joe is threatened by two local boys, he meets his new best friend, Maude, who comes to his rescue.
Turning Point:
As Abbey makes her way down the country road, she is stopped by a frightening fire, holding an axe. Joe discovers his father burning his grandmother’s number and finds disturbing satanic books in his parent’s bedroom.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Module 4, lesson 2

What I learnt from this assignment is, while I feel I have one storyline that fits into this equation I’m not sure my other storyline for my other protagonist does and its something I need to re-look at.

Intriguing Concept:
Young movie star, Elizabeth, is being celebrated at a huge studio party, yet she is packing a secret suitcase and is frightened.

Act 1:
Head of the studio is celebrating his latest academy award nominated film. He hosts a big party for all those involved.

Midpoint:
Elizabeth confides in her agent that she is afraid, she wants out and a reporter has been asking her questions. When she goes back to her house a mysterious car turns up with three sinister looking men. Elizabeth runs off.

Lock In:
Elizabeth is found dead and the reporter investigating her secret is also killed.

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learnt from this is to really question and break down what is the actual conflict. Doing this has made it apparent that I really need to focus on this more in my outline.

SERIES INFO:

World: Hollywood Film Industry <div>

Main mystery: Who killed Elizabeth?

Impossible Goal:
Zoe wants to help her best friend without giving away her true identity. Zoe wants to connect with her mother who doesnt’ want anything to do with her.

Main Conflict:
Eden trying to get an acting break but stress from her father becoming sick is stopping her.

Second Mystery:
Who is the mystery man Alex meets? Why doesn’t Zoe’s mother want to know her?

Season 1 Arc:
Zoe being ashamed and embarrassed by her family/family name now goes to owning it and putting on the biggest wedding, inviting the media.

Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey:
Zoe finds the strength to confront her mother only to be left with nothing but eventually learns to trust and let love in from other people.

<div>

2. Tell us the basic Pilot Info:

PILOT INFO:

Pilot Conflict:
Eden can’t cut a break and must choose between caring for her father or going after her career. Zoe can’t handle her mother abandoning her. </div>

Characters Introduced:
The Studio heads, Zoe, Eden, Alex.

Inciting Incident of Season 1:
Elizabeth, is found dead.

</div>

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learned doing this assignment is…to read each episode description and to see what story line, action, plot stands out and also to play around and have fun. My show is about the film industry, so I’m thinking each episode could be specifically film related or just using a metaphor for what’s really going on.

The Star

The Great Pretender

The Magician

Lion’s Den

Lot 61

Show down

Out of the shadows

The betrayed

The Runner

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learnt from this assignment is there are always areas to add intrigue and to try and look at my outline from a different point of view. While I know there is a lot of mystery and intrigue within the overall story, by looking at each paragraph and seeing where I can add it, has really helped me look at my story outlines from a different point of view. e.g. I have one outline that shows a character kissing another. it’s not interesting, there’s zero intrigue. let’s make the character disappear to take a secret phone call. the other one goes searching for him. now its more interesting. I have another scene with a director not liking an actress – now I want to rephrase this as a question – why does he not like, why does no one of the set like her? she’s done nothing wrong in her eyes.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 8 Intrigue patterns

What I learnt form this assignment is not only how powerful it is to re-phrase questions to create intrigue but also to find a particular tone and to see whose point of view we are looking at.

A.

As Zoe plans her wedding, Nadine slowly withdraws from their friendship until she completely disappears, leading Zoe to think she was using her all along.

B. When Nadine suddenly vanishes, Zoe wonders if they ever had a real friendship or is it something more sinister?

C. Why has Nadine withdrawn from Zoe. After completing her first feature film, why would she suddenly vanish?

D. Zoe becomes worried about her best friend as she begins to withdraw until eventually she vanishes without a trace. What has happened to Nadine? What could be so bad that she can’t confide in her best friend?

E. Zoe begins to doubt herself. Perhaps Nadine is just busy at first. Perhaps Nadine is just caught up in her career? Perhaps they never had the friendship Zoe thought they did.

F. Nadine is becoming more and more busy shooting the film and spending less time with Zoe to the point that Zoe doesn’t even know where she is.

G. If Nadine can’t even turn up to her best friend’s wedding rehearsal, what does that really say about their friendship?

H. Why would an actress about to have her first starring role in a blockbuster film suddenly vanish? Why did she cut off communication with her best friend?

I. Nadine’s acting career is going from strength to strength, but her best friend wonders if she has been used for her connections.

J. Zoe feels used, betrayed and discarded….but is there something more sinister going on to make Nadine cease all contact? Did Nadine meet with foul play?

[Natasha Le Petit]

Module 2, lesson 7. Investigating my bible.

I spent the weekend brainstorming for hours at a time and now feel so excited by the new ideas I have come up with to improve the story.

I had an unknown murder victim from the start. I have her a name, what she wanted and then realised the opening and closing of my pilot episode would be great with her in it. Another smaller character that didn’t have much personality (daughter of main character), suddenly became someone that could have a very interesting character arc. She could rise up and take over an organisation from her Grandfather. I picked apart all of my characters and found more ways to make them empathetic (even the antagonists) and ways to create more conflict in each of their relationships. ie. Zoe had a sister. I started to ask what if the sister was trying to help rebuild Zoe’s relationship with her mother but kept getting it wrong. What if Zoe got the strength to visit her mother after years of not seeing her and then she is rejected all over again. what if I build up to them meeting each other, and the mother cancels at the last minute. what could be a really horrible, nasty way of a mother rejecting her daughter? what if Zoe’s husband was really wonderful when she first met him? what if Zoe was successful to start off with, then lost her confidence? What if our antagonist, Leo, loved children? what if he was not the one to order the hit on Zoe’s family but was just part of the organisation and owed them? I delved more into Alex’s character and asked what moral dilemmas could I give him? he was running for senator and his party controlled. him and told him to get rid of his girlfriend – she wasn’t ‘wife’ material. he dumped her, he felt bad. He decided to secretly see her again. and then I thought about a hook – what if the girlfriend was working for the opposite party and was a ‘spy’?

[Natasha Le Petit]

what I learnt from this assignment is to try and make the summary as simple as possible but to include as many hooks, layers and mysteries as possible.

Working title: Stroke

A 1 hour thriller

Like many aspiring actresses, NADINE juggles work with auditions. She has big dreams and is usually a strong, optimistic person but the knock backs are growing harder to come back from. Her father’s cancer has returned, the bills are mounting up and she is overwhelmed. Her friend ZOE wants to help. Zoe has a contact at IBIS studios and manages to get Nadine an audition for a big feature film. Despite the nerves and having a melt down at the audition, Nadine gets the job.

While on set she meets the head of IBIS studio, LEO LANGDON. Leo is a fascinating, charismatic man and they begin secretly seeing each other. Nadine has never had a relationship like this. Leo can literally make rain fall with the click of her fingers. For her birthday he recreates a scene from her favourite movie and flies her off for a weekend on his private jet. Their affair is exciting on one hand but Nadine is also ashamed. She knows how it would look to her family, friends and colleagues if it got out.

Although she is scared of how he will react, that she may risk her career, she decides to end it with Leo. Then she discovers three alarming things:

She is pregnant

Zoe is actually Leo’s daughter

The studio is a guise for a sinister, criminal syndicate and Leo is high up in the organisation.

Leo offers Nadine a deal. He will make her a star…but she must give him her baby.

When Nadine changes her mind, she soon realises the full magnitude of evil she is up against and her family’s life is now in danger.

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learnt from this assignment is to keep checking that there is a hook, conflict and cliffhanger for each episode. Now getting excited by episode 9, I realise I don’t have enough in the pilot episode and may need to re think this.

working title ‘stroke’

EPISODE ONE

Zoe gets Nadine an audition.

Possible opening with a film scene than we pan out to a glam party. Elizabeth arrives at a Hollywood party. She is afraid, looks upset. At the party we meet Camille and the head of the studio (Winston Churchill type man). Elizabeth also over hears Leo talking about his new baby, how she wakes every two hours. Men are sharing cigars with him, congratulating him.
She confides in an actor /agent friend that she wants out. She tells her friend that a journalist (SAM) wants to talk to he, he’s heard rumours. I can’t do this anymore. Elizabeth leaves the party and goes to the friends house. She sees a sinister car pulling up. She rings her sister (Zoe’s aunty) and says please come get me and mentions the word ‘Charli’ before the line is cut. We see her escape the house and now running for her life.
Nadine is going on audition after audition. Zoe is doing well, always happy and has a photography exhibition (* this exhibition will introduce a lot of characters and set up – Zoe’s sister, Nadine, their friends, a phone call from Zoe’s dad). When Zoe’s sister turns up she makes a snide remark on seeing flowers and a card from their ‘mum’. Nadine is happy for Zoe but she is struggling, trying to hold down a couple of jobs and finds out her dad is sick again. Zoe feels bad for her friend . Nadine knows that Zoe doesn’t like to talk about her family. Zoe gives Nadine a contact at a studio. It’s a friend of a friend. He owes me a favour. Nadine turns up to do the audition. She fails miserably – from being exhausted, stressed, nervous. She runs out crying. But then pulls her act together and goes back, insisting that they can all spare her one more minute out of their lives. She is angry. She rants to them that she’s exhausted, broke and her dad is unwell and she wants to go home and tell her dad that she gave it her best shot because her dad may not be around next year. She is an emotional wreck. We meet Nadine’s brother – he’s a nice guy helping the dad out. But has a dodgy old school friend that’s supplying drugs to the dad (to help with the pain).
Alex corbyn, handsome young up and coming politician, is on a yacht with model girlfriend, Kelly and a bunch of celebrity friends. We see that Alex’s parents used to be famous actors – there are photos around the yacht. The girls on the boat are impressed. We cut from this water scene, waves lapping at the boat to waves lapping on the beach and Elizabeth is lying dead on the beach.

EPISODE TWO

Nadine gets the role and meets Leo.

Young reporter, Kate is sent to a crime scene. A girl has washed up on the beach. We see it is Elizabeth. She meets fellow journalist SAM. He tells her to back off, he knew Elizabeth. This is his story. She doesn’t like being told what to do. Sam takes off and within a second screeching tyre brakes and he is hit by a car. It’s shocking. The van drives off. He’s dying and says a mumbled clue.
Nadine gets called back to the studio. She is shocked. She didn’t get the part she wanted but she has got a role. She meets Leo (she mentions it to Zoe and she smiles) and an old famous screen actress, Camille. Nadine and Zoe celebrate. Zoe’s life seems so charmed then we see her…
At a therapist’s office. The therapist asks her when she is going to start telling the truth.
Alex comes home to see his parents. And informs his dad that the camera’s aren’t working. Where’s Fred, security guard?

EPISODE THREE

Nadine is having a bad time on the film set. She meets Leo.

Kate goes to his newspaper while everyone is grieving she goes through his desk. She can’t find anything. Finds boyfriend Joe They break in to sam’s house ….and find it ransacked. But find info hidden in the clue he gave.
Nadine starts on the film but is disrespected by the director and crew. She feels alone. Camille takes her under her wing and sets her up with her agent. A child actor has a melt down. Camille orders to send for the magician to do his tricks. Nadine meets Leo. Leo does the magic trick for the boy. He takes nay on a tour. They bond over their love of all old Hollywood movies/memorabilia. He is impressed with how much she knows. Everyone loves Leo. He’s excited, down to earth. He zips around ‘IBIS studio in the golf buggy.
Nadine goes home to her dad and pretends she’s having a great time filming. He’s so proud of her. She puts on a good acting job for him.
Kate and boyfriend do a death knock on the family of the girl. They mention the word she said and that they hadn’t heard from her in months. Ever since she worked for that studio she changed and became withdrawn. That night Kate and Joe go to pub and see cop. Kate gets info out of cop. Kate and Joe get drunk and sleep together.
Zoe’s dating various men. Zoe talks about her mother to her therapist and mentions she has been offered an exhibition in London but she’s afraid.

Alex has his big birthday bash. We meet his sister and her husband. The parents give a beautiful moving speech about how proud they are of his son. Alex schmoozes with political figures and celebrities. But at the party his parents disrespect his girlfriend. George pulls Alex aside and talks to him about his wanting to run for office. George insists that the model girlfriend has to go. Georgie likes her but she’s not wife material. Alex needs to find a decent woman that the public will respect.

After the party, Alex and girlfriend fight. She feels abandoned, he didn’t stick up for her at the party. Is he cheating on her? He insists he isn’t. But we see him going back to his place and pulling out a secret phone. He reads text messages from someone wishing him happy birthday and sending kisses and love hearts. He rings this mystery person and tells them he loves her too and can’t wait to see her (this is Nadine he is speaking with). And also maybe says something secretive….to hook us in.

EPISODE FOUR

Nadine and Leo sleep together.

Zoe knows London is an opportunity to see her mother. She talks to her sister. She’s hesitant, nervous but books her tickets.
Nadine and Leo hang out, they sleep together after Champagne. She feels ashamed. She confides in her brother, David, who tells her to watch out because this man is powerful and a lot older.
Newspapers are saying disturbed young actress has killed herself. Kate’s editor tells her to drop it. Kate and Joe snoop around the studio. They meet someone that might talk..then suddenly that person (security guard) doesn’t work there anymore. Kate and Joe still bicker and fight about how their relationship ended. But as they become more excited by the case they become closer. They find the film that Elizabeth was in and Kate becomes obsessed with re watching it. She realises there’s something odd about it….light bulb moment. She calls Joe over – makes him watch the scene…I think Elizabeth was pregnant!

Alex meets the political team that will help him. They want to help him with his public image – it has to change if he’s to be taken seriously. He is told his girlfriend is going to be a problem.

EPISODE FIVE

Zoe goes to London.

Kate and Joe are falling in love but there is some sort of a threat as they continue to investigate.
Zoe, terrified, gets on a plane to London. Her sister is the go between. Zoe is successful with her photography exhibition and someone important notices her. But her main focus is on trying to get hold of her mum. Zoe also rings Nadine to apologise for not remembering her birthday she has to tell her something when she gets back. Nadine also has something she needs to talk to Zoe about. Zoe is introduced to James by her sister. He is a welcome distraction from her fear.
Nadine is disappointed that her friend misses her birthday…but then turns up to the studio to find Leo has re-created a scene from her favourite movie as a surprise. She is blown away.

Alex dumps girlfriend. He tries to do it in a nice way. He feels bad but he has to think of his career. She calls him weak and tells him his father is pulling his strings. Grow some balls. They fight.

EPISODE SIX

Zoe’s mum agrees to meet with her. Nadine discovers she’s pregnant.

Zoe and James have a whirlwind romance around Europe. He is shooting there. They become closer, talk about their own abandonment issues. They feel they are soul mates and talk about marriage but want to elope. James tells Zoe in 6 months once he’s finished he will propose to her. He also tells Zoe she is braver than he is. Zoe knows she will be disappointed in herself if she does’t reach out to her mum. She does and her mum who agrees to meet with her. Zoe waits for her mother but she never shows…instead Zoe’s sister gives her an envelope with a cheque/ box of baby stuff in it.

Alex gets into his political campaign. He is busy, meeting people. But alone he has time to reflect. He contacts Kelly.

Nadine’s costume is not fitting. Her dad is getting sicker. She thinks she is unwell because of the stress. Camille organises for her to go to a doctor. At the end of the episode she discovers she is pregnant – four months. Nadine is shattered.
Joe calls Kate get over here now, found out something. She arrives to find he has fallen from his balcony.

EPISODE SEVEN

Zoe tells Nadine who she is.

Zoe comes back alone to LA, devastated. She needs Nadine more than ever. She can’t get hold of James, finally he calls her but they connection is bad.
Zoe and Nadine meet up. Zoe confesses that she has a different surname. She tells her about her time in London, her mother. Then her father. She explains that he is her whole world, she wouldn’t survive without him. She is rambling….talking about how her friendship with Nadine is just as important. And how proud she is of Nadine. It wasn’t just her connection, she knows Nadine is talented. Nadine tells her to spit it out, what is she talking about. And then the bombshell…my dad is Leo Langdon. Head of the studio.
Kate tells her editor that Joe didn’t kill himself. She is told to be quiet. She won’t. She is sacked. She sees pub cop and he tells her to meet him, he has info. She finds the engagement ring that he said he would never give her and he was planning to marry her.

Alex meets up with Kelly, he declares his love for her. She was right. He has missed her. Later, Alex gets a threatening letter/package.

EPISODE EIGHT

Leo reassures Nadine he will take care of the baby.

Nadine tells Leo she is pregnant and Zoe is her friend. He is shocked to learn they have a friendship (Zoe went through another contact to get Nadine the job). Leo is worried that Zoe will find out. He tells Nadine he will take care of everything…he reassures her. And she agrees, she doesn’t want a baby and she’s desperate for the new role he has promised her.
James turns up and proposes. They decide they are different from their parents and will make it the biggest wedding ever. James meets Leo. Leo likes him and is happy for his daughter…..he’s happy all round now. (He’s got everything lined up).
Zoe tells Nadine her happy news and wants Nadine to be her maid of honour. She surprises Nadine by bringing her to lunch with all the bridesmaids. Zoe is so happy and in love. Nadine has to put on an act. She agrees to be the maid of honour.

Alex is working hard, feeling good and he’s made a stand that he cares about Kelly. Kelly does something dodgy. She’s working under c

Kate goes and finds the cop. It’s a different cop and he grabs her and she is hooded.

EPISODE NINE

Nadine goes missing.

Nadine finds something in Leo’s office and becomes fearful. She rings her brother and says she’s in trouble.
Zoe tries to find Nadine but she’s missing…..maybe she leaves a note apologising but she can’t do it?
Kate is hooded, driven somewhere but escapes and runs for her life.

George suggests Alex needs a break and to all go sailing somewhere. We end with either bomb explodes

[Natasha Le Petit]

what I learnt from this is how effective it is to have a clear objective and to brainstorm to meet that objective. I honestly didn’t think I could come up with 5 seasons but just forcing myself to look at all the possible long term story lines, I surprised myself and came up with some great ideas.

Working title: “Fox Glove”

Season 1;

A. Zoe’s best friend turns up after being missing for 25 years. Zoe discovers her husband is lying to her and their money is missing.
Nadine is given a shot at a movie but also becomes attracted to Zoe’s dad.
1970 – a body of a young woman washes up on a beach, young reporter, Kate, is sent to her first crime scene.

B. Young Zoe. She’s naive, trusting, going after her dreams, meets an amazing man, 25 years later has no career and is trapped in an unhappy marriage. She gets the strength to leave her husband, and finds herself again, discovering she is stronger than she ever though she was.
Alex Corbyn, son of a power couple and old family friend comes to visit Leo with his parents. Alex is lonely, distrusting, doesn’t have relationships. When he comes to visit Leo, he meets Claudia and they reconnect, share memories of their childhood. It’s familiar, he feels safe with her and are both attracted to each other.
Kate is not into crime reporting, she wants to be on TV, to be an ‘interviewer’. But she pushes herself and becomes intrigued by the case, it keeps her up at night.

c. James. Zoe’s own insecurities of what people will think. Her fear of the unknown. Jordy thinks something is not right with Nadine, he catches her behaving strangely around his granddad. Kate (the bank is threatening to foreclose her house).

d. How will Zoe leave James, how will he react? what has he been up to? Where did Nadine disappear to? Why does Nadine act differently when alone with Leo. What is she drugging him with? Will Alex and Claudia date?

e. Zoe files for divorce. Zoe’s son sees Nadine mistreating his grandfather. An intruder enters Alex’s home. Kate discovers the dead girl is linked to Leo.

Season 2

a. After receiving the divorce papers James turns up at the house, Zoe’s party like nothing has happened. His behaviour is bizarre. Alex receives a threatening letter that a bomb is in his house. He gets extra security. They see a person on the security footage. An agent looks into it.

b. Nadine is on her first movie and is bullied by the crew and cast. She falls in love with Leo but feels guilt ridden because of Zoe. She gains respect from the director and cast. She feels she has to choose between Zoe and Leo and decides to end things with Leo but then discovers she’s pregnant. James tries everything in his power to control Zoe and to manipulate her. Zoe’s Pi gives her the info on his affair. She knows she can use it to blackmail him. She has the upper hand…for now.

c. The cast and crew. Someone stalking Alex. James turning against Zoe. Jordy doesn’t like Nadine. Kate is told to drop the story she’s working on, by her boss but she doesn’t want to and goes against his wishes. She is threatened. But this makes her more determined.

d. Who is after Alex? What will Nadine do? Will Zoe find out? What is James’s next move? e. Nadine discovering she’s pregnant. Kate’s child gets abducted. Alex learns his parents are involved with the syndicate.

Season 3

a. Kate finds her daughter. The syndicate make it clear that will kill her next time.

b. Kate drops the story. She gets promoted suddenly – more money and is moved to television . Kate and her husband start renovating their house, life seems great. But she is unhappy deep down, she’s let them win. Now 50 years later, she teaches journalism and doesn’t believe a word she is teaching.
Nadine agrees to get rid of the baby for her career. But her father is dying and she changes her mind.

c. The syndicate going against Kate. Leo is against Nadine for getting pregnant. Zoe feels nadine used her to get a role in the film.

d. Who are the syndicate, why are they desperate to cover up a dead woman?

e. Leo threatens Nadine when she changes her mind. She and her father flee to the country.
Alex and his parents go on their yacht. Alex wakes to see a man onboard holding a gun, moving around the yacht. He looks over board and sees a small dinghy. Alex tries to call his dad, texting him. Lock your doors. Alex goes searching for the man. Kate’s student, Robbie, shows her information he found on the story she did 50 years ago. She decides to finish the investigation once and for all.
Nadine goes into labour, syndicate men come to take the baby, kills her family and nadine is shot at as she runs for help.
Leo escapes with the help of Jordy.
Zoe discovers Hannah is not her birth mother.

Season 4

a. A bomb explodes on the yacht. A fisherman helps Alex out of the water, his parents are dead. Nadine gets to a neighbours, goes to the police but they don’t believe her.

b. Alex is in shock and grieving the loss of his parents. He helps his sister too. He is badly injured and must get over his injuries. He fronts the media. He is afraid for his life and offers a reward to whoever killed his parents. Someone close to him is suspicious.
Nadine is put into a psych ward. She escapes, goes to her brother’s friend she hated and told him to stay away but now needs him to help her escape. She flees the country. She is in a spiral of despair, turns to drugs, then decides to find her son.

C. Assassinator, the syndicate going after Nadine. Nadine going after Zoe.

D. Who killed Alex’s parents? Will Nadine be safe?

E. Nadine discovers where he son is and goes back to the US, sneaking into his adopted parents home, posing as a housekeeper. Zoe has been drugged and has a psychotic breakdown. Ward. Robbie is abducted, beaten and tortured by syndicate. We discover how much Alex hated his parents. He had them killed. Claudia sees something dangerous in Alex. Nadine takes Leo away to kill him…

Season 5

a. Zoe gets placed in a psych ward. An old actress friend of Leo’s (Camille, Head of the syndicate) comes to visit her and gets her out. Kate rescues Robbie. Nadine is about to kill Leo but he finally tells her about the syndicate – who they are, how to find them.

b. Kate finds Zoe and tells her the dead woman she did a story on back in 1970 is Zoe’s birth mother. She has all her info. Now Zoe realises she was lied to by her father. She is devastated. She goes to the one person to comfort her – Hannah. They finally have an honest, heart to heart conversation. Hannah admits that she suspected the girl was killed by the syndicate and when she saw how much Zoe looked like her she found it hard to take. They both break down and cry.
Robbie has changed. He has been seduced by the syndicate. He is give his own TV show at such a young age. (Like Kate was) Kate thinks he has sold out. Kate confronts him. On hearing this and receiving a letter from her, he speaks out against the syndicate on live television – exposing them. Kate dies, but is at peace with what she has done, proud of Robbie.
Zoe gets released, fights Nadine.
Alex is power hungry and dangerous. He plans to blow up the syndicate. Syndicate key players are meeting. Nadine realises how far Alex is going, how damaged he is , but she loves him and will never turn him in.

c. Robbie against Kate. The syndicate. Alex. Nadine vs Zoe.

d. Will Alex kill the syndicate, will Claudia find out what he’s up to and will he kill her? Can Leo be trusted, is he leading Nadine astray?

e. Alex confronts and threatens Claudia – she’s onto him. She gets away.
Leo is the one to blow everyone up. Alex is injured in the blast and is now paralysed, Nadine must take care of him. Both Nadine and Zoe meet up at the place they first became friends. Claudia is the one to have placed Alex in harms way, and now has injected him with the same drug her grandfather was given. Zoe, with the support of Hannah, goes to find her maternal grandmother who is still alive in a nursing home and she meets her aunty. She gives the grandmother closure and justice for the family.
Nadine gets back into acting and finally has her son back with her – but as a quadriplegic whom she has to nurse full time.

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learnt from this assignment was to go deeper with my descriptions, find the intrigue, add the irony, their weaknesses.

Module 2, lesson 2

ZOE

Fame, money, movie premieres. On the surface Zoe has it all. Married to a famous film director, she is invited to all the Oscar parties, drives luxury cars and lives in a huge mansion. But Zoe also lives with a dark secret. While her husband is known for making some of the most successful blockbuster movies, behind closed doors he is a controlling, verbally abusive sociopath. Years of treading on egg shells, of enduring neglect and financial abuse (she has no access to her own money) have taken their toll on Zoe. Her father, the only person she completely trusts, has had a stroke. While trying to keep up appearances for the sake of her children, she secretly begins to plan how to escape. When she seeks the help from a private investigator to find out where her husband is and what he has done with their money, she instead finds her old friend, Nadine, who has been missing for 25 years. The friends become close again very quickly, and Nadine promises to help Zoe with her separation but Zoe begins to discover that Nadine’s story of why she went missing does not add up. Zoe’s years of keeping up appearances, come into play as she begins to investigate Nadine. To her horror she begins to realise that Nadine has a far more sinister reasons for being in Zoe’s life and that her family’s lives are in danger.

NADINE

1997. Nadine is in her twenties and is an aspiring actress. While she works jobs to pay the bill, she also takes care of her father who has cancer. Nadine is a confident, feisty young woman who puts everything into her auditions but can’t cut a break. She becomes friends with a budding photographer, Zoe, and finds out that Zoe’s dad runs a film studio. The two women become inseparable. Zoe doesn’t usually get involved in her dad’s work, but seeing Nadine’s struggles to help her father and support them both, she wants to help her in any way she can. Zoe introduces Nadine to her father – Leo, who is head of a film studio. Zoe begs her Dad to give Nadine a role in a film. Zoe is unaware but Nadine and Leo more than hit it off. They end up having an affair. Nadine, naturally, gets a role, in a big budge movie and after it wraps, it looks like Nadine’s career is about to take off. Then she suddenly disappears.

2021. When Nadine learns that Zoe’s father has had a stroke and is permanently paralysed she sees this as an opportunity to reconnect with her best friend, to make amends to her for vanishing, to support Zoe with helping her father and helping her leave her unhappy marriage. This is what Nadine presents as the truth. But she is an actress, a good one, and she is about to play the role of her life. 25 years ago, Nadine didn’t just vanish, she was running for her life. Inpregnanted by Leo, forced to give up her baby and her family murdered when she tried to speak out, now, Nadine is back searching for answers, to reconnect with the son she lost and to seek justice for her murdered family . But she is up against powerful and dangerous people – and Zoe’s father is part of it.

LEO

Head of a film studio. He is ruthless, driven, but very charismatic. He was thrilled when his only daughter, Zoe, started dating James Montgomery, up and coming film director, but began to see another side to James. Leo is a womaniser, has had countless affairs until his wife, Hannah, got fed up and left. Leo is a hypocrite and hates that James is having affairs behind his daughter’s back. Zoe is the apple of Leo’s eye and he also adores his grandchildren. Leo has a particular fascination with special effects and magic. He genuinely loves children and his studio specialises in family and animation films. He usually is the life of the party – especially kids parties. He’s the first to play games and he loves performing magic tricks. He makes things disappear…and he also makes people disappear. There is a dark side to Leo. There are many people willing to do whatever it takes to become rich and powerful. Leo is no exception. He is part of a syndicate, a criminal organisation which is rife in his world of show biz. Some of the most unlikely film people are caught up in it. Leo is just a small player in a bigger scheme that also infiltrates politicians and media tycoons. Deals are made behind the scenes and they can cost you to disappear if you don’t fulfil your part of the deal. When Leo has a stroke and becomes paralysed, his words slurred, he is trapped inside a prison. Now things are dire. The one woman he thought was dead (Nadine) has re-emerged and not only could she expose his secrets she could put his family’s lives at risk.

JAMES

Borderline sociopath, complex, self absorbed. A successful film director, James is a control freak on set and an even bigger control freak at home – directing his wife and children like they are on set and he’s screaming action. He grew up dirt poor and escaped into a world of television and movies. His father left when he was a baby. His mother worked two jobs and one day dropped dead at a cleaning job. James and his brother, Henry, were separated and sent to live in different foster homes. James became a compulsive liar to escape his reality. A teacher recognised how bright James was and got him to apply for a scholarship at a college. He got in, studied film and never looked back. James adored and admired, Leo, who mentored him. Leo was the father figure he never had and shortly after he works under Leo, James meets and falls in love with Zoe. But years of people stroking his ego has turned him into a megalomaniac. He is the ultimate Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. To the outside world, their mutual friends and colleagues and the media, James as a larger than life personality. Full of laughter and endless jokes. Sometimes this is the James that his family get to see. Generous, fun, playful. But the other James that comes home can be distant, dark, brooding. James has a deep fear of abandonment and is so afraid his family will leave him, he does everything to control them….which actually makes them want to leave him even more.

KATE

Is a retired journalist who once worked on a murder case with links to some big players in Hollywood (Leo included) but was ordered to drop the story by her newspaper editor and the police. She was later threatened by some mysterious person who followed her and turned up at her daughter’s school. As a young budding reporter with a small child, Kate took the threats seriously. She dropped the story but then lost her confidence and passion for journalism. She ended up writing for a small magazine, – mainly doing lifestyle articles. Now, decades later, Kate lives alone. Her husband and daughter both died from the same cancer. Kate has become bitter and resentful. She drank heavily to cope with her loss. She suffers from arthritis. She is chronic pain, externally and internally. An old friend helped Kate get back on her feet and has given her a job at a local college teaching journalism. Kate is empty inside. She goes back to her home with her dog and cat and smokes pot to dull the pain. She feels lost, alone and angry with herself that she let fear stop her from going after her dreams. It takes a young man – a rude, entitled, lazy student, Robbie, to lift her out of her slump. He fires her up and gets her to go back and investigate the cold case that was buried. Now with nothing to lose, Kate decides to find the truth, even if she is danger. She has nothing to lose. But as Robbie also gets involved, she realises she is potentially putting his life at risk. The syndicate don’t like anyone asking questions. People disappear when they ask too many questions.

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learnt from this assignment was just how damn difficult it is to write a longline 🙂 .. BUT the break down presented in this course certainly helps!!!

Two women supporting each other’s dreams of stardom become embroiled in a sinister Hollywood syndicate and must ultimately betray each other in order to protect their families.

A dark, sinister side of show biz, a powerful criminal organisation and the world of secret surrogacy
Enough money can buy you anything. Babies can also be bought.
The need to stay relevant comes at a high price.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Natasha is ready for feedback!

What I learnt was how much I ‘over write’ :). It’s challenging but so important to be as concise as possible – I think I still have a long way to go with this. this assignment also made me focus on what was really important in my storyline and I came up with some new ideas for conflict and relationship hooks.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 11

I loved this lesson! Going through all my characters/storylines and discovering irony that was already there for some of them, (which I wasn’t aware of). But then ‘creating’ irony for some of my characters has shown me more ways to get layers and depth out of their relationships.

Assignment One

Irony in episode 10 Handmaid’s Tale –

Aunt Lydia is very fond of and loves the handmaid’s under her care (calls them ‘beautiful, precious), yet, doesn’t blink an eye when she tortures and disfigures them to ‘show them the way’. In response to June’s rebellious streak, Aunt Lydia is about to give June an electric shock, to install a tracker inside her head, and says “ this will be painful I’m sorry to say, but you are so very precious we wouldn’t want to lose you.”

Ironic quote at the start of the episode “They should never have forced us to wear uniforms if they didn’t want us to be an army.”

June seduces the man who rapes her once a month – to keep him on side, to gain information, ultimately to ask that he protects her daughter from his wife’s threats.

Serena once wrote a well known feminist book only to help write the laws that imprison women, and put only men in charge.

The ultimate irony – one of the handmaid’s is rescued from an unsuccessful suicide attempt. She is hospitalised and cared for so she is healthy enough to be stoned to death.

My series ‘stroke’:

Leo is a magician – tells his daughter he can make anything disappear and then reappear. Secretly he plans and thinks he has made Nadine disappear for good…but she reappears later.

At children’s parties he plays ‘what’s the time Mr. Lion (instead of Mr. wolf). He freezes like a statue – he’s very convincing of how good he is at not moving. Later, he has a stroke and become paralysed. (But in fact he has been drugged).

Nadine learns to and becomes skilled at regularly injecting her sick father with his medicine, only to regularly inject her best friend’s father with poison.

When Zoe first became friends with Nadine, she had lied about who she was and where she came from. Nadine persuaded her to be herself. But years later, Nadine is the one to create a secret identity.

Zoe hates that her husband is a liar. But she is also a liar – to herself.

Zoe’s strained relationship with her cold, aloof mother brings her to a therapist who is even more colder and aloof.

A retired journalist teaches journalism but doesn’t believe in what she is teaching. Her worst student ends up teaching her and getting her to rekindle the investigative journalist inside of her again.

Nadine’s son’s father is a ‘monster’ in her eyes. But she then plays her part in unleashing the monster within her son.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 10

What I learnt – After looking at the Handmaid’s Tale I could see there were so many subplots and layers in each episode. There is so much going on, so many questions and each character having conflict with others that we wouldn’t expect them to have. So I learnt that while you always have to have the big mystery/plot line, the layers are what keep you riveted in each episode and in fact sometimes you forget about the overall big picture when you become engrossed in the smaller layers.

Assignment one: ‘the Handmaid’s Tale’

Layers – Janine has been moved to another post but still believes her Commander will come for her. Why has he told her this? Is this a lie?

When June approaches her partner to say she wants to join the resistance, her partner tells her she does’t know what she’s talking about. Is this because its too risky or she doesn’t trust June?

Her partner later comes back to her and tells her she knows June went to the nightclub – when June asks her how she knows this she does’t answer. She asks June to do something, to go back there and collect a package. Does June trust her? Is she being set up? She is told it must happen tonight but how can she with the commander’s wife back in the house?

Emotional layer – nick is confused and jealous as to why June is acting so eager to get to the nightclub, why she is all over the commander?

The commander shocks June by saying he knows that she really came to see her friend. He has shown his coldness by making her sleep with him before he reveals this. Still, he leaves the two women alone, so there is part of him that wants to please June. But by him knowing, June now realises he is smarter and colder than what she initially thought.

Now that Serena suspects her husband is cheating with another handmaid, what will she do. We also see conflict between her and another wife, which we hadn’t seen before.

Assignment Two: My TV show ‘Stroke’

Plot Surface: Zoe’s once best friend, Nadine, re-enters her life after being missing for 25 years. Nadine offers to help Zoe take care of her sick father and to help her find the truth about her husband’s whereabouts.

Layer 1: mystery: mystery of what Zoe’s husband is up to. Where has Nadine been? Who was the dead woman? Why did Janine give up journalism? <div>

Layer 2:
Mystery revealed. We learn of James’s infidelity. Learn why Janine gave up journalism and her link wth the dead woman.

Layer 3: Hidden history – we start to see bits of Nadine’s life, why she went missing. The child that was taken from her. Her connection with Leo.

Layer 4: hidden plan: Nadine’s true intention is not to help Zoe’s father but to seek vengeance.
Layer 5: major betrayal. the betrayal Zoe feels on finding out about Nadine. The betrayal nadine feels that Zoe does not believe her story.

Level 6: major shift in meaning: our beliefs are questioned when we see the final reveal of what happened to Nadine, why she is doing what she is doing.

Character Surface: Zoe is married to a successful film director, has a charmed life. Nadine is her close friend wanting to help her. James and Alex have perfect happy families, Janine is content with teaching journalism at a local college.

Layer one: secret identity – Nadine comes back after 25 years BUT she is not the same person. In the time she has been away, she has changed her identity to sneak into her son’s family home. Janine and Daniel (her student) pretend to be other people in order to investigate a cold case. Zoe keeps up a pretence of being happily married.

Layer two: character intrigue; why did Nadine disappear? How will James react to his wife filing for divorce. He is dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality and needs to control everything and has to have a perfect public persona. How will he behave when is no longer in control? Who does Alex secretly ring? Why is Zoe’s mum so distant and cold with her?

Layer three: hidden relationships and conspiracies:

Nadine had a relationship with Zoe’s father and had his baby. Alex, the son of a famous couple, is their child. Zoe’s mother is not her real mother.

</div>

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learnt from this was how many possibilities I have to create drama, problems and open loops for my characters. I loved the brainstorming list in particular.

Assignment one. ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’

Big Picture loop is –

Will June ever escape? Will she find her daughter? What will happen to the rest of the handmaids and all those oppressed under the Gilead dictatorship?

Smaller loops in this episode – June has been having an affair with Nick but has recently learnt her husband is still alive. She continues to see Nick. Open loop – will she have to end this, will she choose one man over the other? What will her husband do if he finds out about this?

Why has the commander taken June to a nightclub? What are his intentions towards her? Why did the last handmaid kill herself? Why did the wife blame her husband? Is the same thing going to happen to June? Will the commander draw her into prostitution like the other women?

Assignment two. My show ‘Stroke’.

5-8 big picture open loops-

Where is Zoe’s husband, why did he lie about where he is, is he having an affair and who with and where is their money?

Will she have the strength to leave him? How will she do this with no access to money?

Why did Nadine really turn up after 25 years of being missing? What happened to her to make her run away when her career was gong so well?

What happened to the two missing women that were linked with a well known actor?

Why did the journalist investigating suddenly stop looking into it?

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 8

“What I learned doing this assignment is mystery has many dimensions and layers. Having the bigger overall mystery of a series may not necessarily keep viewers wanting to watch to the end of the series. But adding to that, within each episode, smaller mysteries, may just keep the viewer hooked and wanting to keep bingeing – to find out the answers to those smaller mysteries- as well as the overall bigger one.

In the Handmaid’s Tale Episode 6 had ended with June learning her husband did not die. In episode 7 it starts with the reveal. It shows his journey from the time he left June and her daughter. We also discover what led up to them being separated. There is a mysterious man – a neighbour – who appears to them in the forest. we are not sure if we can trust him. He turns up at their doorstep and tells them the man who was helping them has been murdered and they need to come with him. Again, we are not sure if he is to be believed.

Create your Shocking Event Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.

A. Shocking Event:
After being missing for 25 years, Nadine turns up on her old friend’s door.

B. Secret:
What happened to her? Why did she suddenly disappear? And her father too?

C. Investigation:
Zoe’s son thinks there is something not right about her story. He spies on her. A journalist also investigates.

WHO Nadine

WHAT was she doing for all those years

WHEN: when did she disappear, when did she decide to return

WHERE:did she go?

HOW: did she make herself disappear? Did other people know? Was she helped?

Part Withheld:
She went away to have a baby (/Zoe’s father’s baby). It was taken from her and now she wants revenge.

2. Create the Over Time Mystery and tell us the WWWWW and H, along with the part withheld.
A. Cover up:
James is busy shooting his latest film (but the shooting dates were changed). He never left the country.

B. Secret:
Where has Zoe’s husband, James been all this time? Why is money missing?

C. Reveals:
James has been having an affair with someone and has bought a house with her.
WHO James

WHAT what has he been up to?

WHEN: when did it start?

WHERE: did the affair/s take place, where is the house he purchased?

HOW: did he get away with it? How did they meet?

Part Withheld:
The woman is someone Zoe knows and trusts. It’s been going on for years.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Lesson 7

What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I had more of less thought that empathy came from just the first situation, an undeserved misfortune, or a character conflict that wasn’t necessarily their fault. Now I can see to really engage and stay with certain characters, there must be a range of things that are thrown at them. This assignment showed me how to look at different ways to engage the audience to make them worry about and care for the characters. To keep adding on more layers of distress.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

1. Watch the next episode of your Example Show and focus on the Empathy/Distress that shows up in this episode and throughout the season so far.

2. Notice the difference between Big Picture Empathy/Distress and detail oriented Empathy/Distress. Big Picture will have an impact across multiple episodes.

Deadline: 24 hours

Handmaid’s Tale

Ofred/June discovers the Mexican Ambassadors are not there to trade for food but are there to trade for Handmaids<div>

Ofred/June has an opportunity to tell someone from the outside world what is happening but her Commander and his wife are watching her, so she keeps quiet.

June is becoming more and more attracted to Nick. It’s becoming physical – its taking her mind off everything, including her daughter and husband. But very risky at the same time.

June realising that by not saying anything about the conditions she is living in, is now putting all the handmaids at risk.

She is keeping her mouth shut and not speaking up – something she would never have done before the new laws.

ASSIGNMENT 2:

1. Make a list of BIG PICTURE difficult situations and decisions your characters could make because of the main conflict of this series.

Just ask: “Knowing the concept, what are the big picture Empathy/Distress situations that could occur?”

A. Undeserved misfortune.
Nadine is lonely and has no work. Zoe is in an unhappy marriage and her money has been taken.

B. External Character conflicts.
Nadine – the children and James do not want her at the house. Zoe has to go up against her husband but also discovers her friend was lying to her.

C. Plot intruding on life.
A journalist is closing in on Nadine, and her relationship with her son. Zoe’s valium is beginning to affect her in strange ways, she is not thinking straight.

D. Moral dilemmas.
Nadine grows to like Zoe and her children, it makes it hard for her. Nadine sees her son could be out of control, his political views are dangerous. Zoe decides blood is thicker than water, she hides evidence of what her father did.

E. Forced decisions they’d never make.
Nadine is forced to put Zoe away after she discovers Nay’s truth. Zoe threatens her husband.

</div>

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learned doing this assignment is, to look at what is lying underneath not just on the surface. What is really going on between these characters, what is the internal conflict not just external.

Handmaid’s Tale – June’s relationships

The Commander

Mrs. Waterford

Nick

Surface

boss

boss

colleague

Common ground:

scrabble, reading, breaking the rules

Breaking the rules, keeping secrets

Both hate their circumstances, their country

Conflict:

The Commander is developing strong feelings for June and putting her at risk.

Mrs Waterford forces June to go against the commander, to try and become pregnant with another man – Nick.

Both June and Nick forced to have sex in the hope of impregnating June but they have feelings for each other.

History

June was sent to live with the Waterfords after the last handmaid killed herself.

As above.

They live in the same house, work for the same family.

Subtext

Enemy, a prisoner/prison guard relationship.

Competition for the Commander’s affection. Enemy.

Conspirators

Relationship Arc

From being fearful of the Commander, to seeing his weakness and using him

From hating Mrs Waterford to bonding with her after breaking the law together.

From distrust to falling in love

My series. Working title ‘stroke’

Zoe’s relationships

Nadine

Alex

James

Surface

Friend

Son of family friend, dating daughter

Husband

Common Ground

Both wanting to support each other in creativity and helping Leo

Same political views. daughter.

Married, children.

Conflict

Nadine is secretly trying to destroy Zoe’s father, but struggles because she still cares for Zoe

Alex also wanting to destroy Zoe’s father but also her family

Verbally abusive, controlling, financial abuse

History

Best friends from 25 years ago.

Old family friends – has met Alex off and on since he was young.

Married 20+ years, met through Zoe’s father.

Subtext

Dependent on Nadine – her shield, teacher.

A possible future son in law. Star struck to a point.

Abusive, controlling

Relationship arc

From best friends, to arch enemies.

A distant family friend, now a huge threat to her family.

Turns the relationship around – she is now in control.

[Natasha Le Petit]

“What I learned doing this assignment is this is something I need to do, not only in developing my two main characters, but the supporting/minor characters and by using these internal struggle profiles I can also discover more interesting insights to each character and possibly find ways to create more conflict and drama.

Assignment One
Handmaid’s Tale – June’s Internal Struggles <div>

Hope: to escape Gilead, to find her daughter. / Fear: being found out, tortured, maimed, killed.
B. Want: freedom. / Need: To survive.

C. Base Negative Emotion: Anger, fear / Public Mask: dutiful, obedient

D. Weaknesses: sometimes she can’t hide her strong will, still ignorant about the world of Gilead, how to navigate the Commander and his wife.

E. Triggers: Being confined to her room. Her one chance of freedom – a visit to the doctors. June is so looking forward to walking, fresh air but is instead confined to a car. She loses it and starts hitting the windows in a rage, for a moment showing Nick, exposing what she really is feeling and thinking.

F. Coping Mechanism: Using the commander’s need to connect with her to her advantage. Allowing herself to be closer to Nick. Trying to soften the Commander’s wife, take the blame for everything.

Assignment Two

Zoe –

Hope: to leave her marriage, to see her father getting better/Fear: how her husband will react. What her friends will think. What the unknown future of being on her own means.

Want: happiness. Need: freedom, to find herself again.

Base Negative Emotion: fearful, afraid to speak up. Public Mask: confident, proud, in control.

Weaknesses: Naive, too trusting. Also, she loses control at times, going into rages or hysterical crying.

Triggers: public embarrassment. Discovering when people have been dishonest with her.

Coping mechanism: She uses entertaining, extravagant parties to show everyone that she is fine. Her never ending lunches, charity events also distract and keep her busy from really dealing with her deep, profound loneliness and unhappiness. She avoids conflict at all cost. She uses Nadine as a shield.

Nadine

Hope: to avenge her family and get justice for other families. Fear: her true motives and identity being discovered.

Want: revenge, to be close with her son. Need: to heal the pain and grief she has gone through.

Base Negative emotion: consuming rage. Public Mask: calm, kind, generous.

Weaknesses: she can’t keep a lid on her fury at times. She doesn’t know Zoe as well as she thinks she does. She underestimates her. Guilt: she is becoming someone she doesn’t like, someone her family would not like. She struggles with this.

Triggers: hearing about Zoe’s upbringing, her relationship with Leo, with her own children.

Coping mechanism: When the anger starts to consume her, she takes it out on Leo, the man she cares for. She plays her Aunt’s favourite music. She looks at photos, teddy bears, reminding herself why she is doing this.

Alex:

Hope: to one day run the country. Fear: Afraid of his parents, afraid of being exposed. Afraid he won’t be good enough.

Want: to get rid of his parents. Need: to stand up to them, to stand on his own.

Base Negative emotion: desperate need to be liked, never feels good enough. Public Mask: charming, funny, confident.

Weaknesses: parties too hard. Allows himself to be influenced and manipulated by people in Government/power; his birth mother.

Triggers: his father. He just needs to see his name appear on his phone and it instills horror, a fight or flight response. He is terrified of him and also hates him. The Spanish language, Mexico. He has a fascination. He was raised in the wrong family/the wrong culture.

Coping Mechanisms: deep down, Alex is an introvert. He has been raised in a famous family and while he plays the part of the outgoing, confident politician, he only copes by finding ways to be alone, to escape from the media, his family etc.

</div>

[Natasha Le Petit]

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” One of my main characters, Nadine, has a secret agenda and identity which makes her easier and more exciting to write. However, the other character – the so called innocent/good one – lacks the same intrigue and I realised for this assignment its not going to work just that she’s a victim and we feel for her. We need to be intrigued by her, we need to really want to know and see what she will do next. She can’t just be a victim. This assignment has made me deep digger into Zoe’s character and these intrigue items have been extremely helpful in helping me to working out how to flesh her character out.

ASSIGNMENT 1:

Hidden agendas. In the Handmaid’s Tale, June is clearly a fighter who is not afraid to speak up for herself for others. Yet, in her new world she keeps her mouth shut and obeys the rules. Later we realise she is watching, waiting, working it all out. <div>

In episode 4, June is (and we the audience are) taken back by how suddenly nice the Commander’s wife is being towards her. Then June discovers it’s because her period is late and the wife thinks she is pregnant. June uses this advantage to gain access to her friend in another house, to have a more comfortable existence. She sees a weakness in the Commanders wife – her desperate need to have a baby. We also see how strong June is when being tortured about her friend. We see June is becoming closer to Nick, the driver, BUT we don’t know what June’s true intentions are. Is she genuinely wanting his affection or is she using him? June learns a hard lesson at the end of the episode when she realises she’s not pregnant and makes the mistake of telling the commander’s wife this. The wife goes into a rage and June is physically thrown to the floor and locked in her room and we are left wondering to what extent the commander’s wife will punish June? And now that June knows this new rule – what will she do? Will she try to get pregnant, try NOT to get pregnant to hurt the wife or will she fake a pregnancy? Take up Nick’s offer to try to run for it?

ASSIGNMENT 2

1. For your Inner Circle characters, fill in any of the Intrigue items that apply.

Character Name: Zoe
Role: wife trying to get out of an unhappy marriage, daughter of a man who has had a stroke. </div>

Hidden agendas: she wants out of the marriage, her husband doesn’t know this.

Competition: her husband, their friends.

Conspiracies:
She works with her new friend and father’s nurse who has had experience in investigating and spying on people.

Secrets:
That she is desperately afraid and alone and unhappy. Her friends and colleagues do not know this.

Deception:
Her husband has been lying to her, and now she will compile evidence to use against him.

Wound:
Seeing the true nature of her husband and what he has been up to. Knowing there are few people in her life she can trust.

Secret Identity:
Still keeping up the masquerade to her friends and family, that everything is fine, Zoe really becomes a spy, an actor, spending every last bit of energy that she can to find out the truth.

[Natasha Le Petit]

“What I learned doing this assignment is…

I have learnt how vital it is that we care/empathise with the character/s. What is it about characters in certain shows that make me want to keep watching and therefore with my own show, now thinking about how I can make sure their is some sort of empathy, relatability there as well as intrigue.

The Handmaid’s Tale

Role in the show:
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: <div>

Offred/June is the main character. We learn the world through her eyes, her voice over. She is a Mother who has lost everything and she is smarter than most. She is good at watching and learning who she can trust.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
She is very good at playing the part of the dutiful handmaid but she is not conforming.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?
She knows the Commander (her boss) has an attraction, interest in her. She is going to use that somehow to her advantage.

E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?
She plays scrabble with the Commander. She lets him just win. She seems in control but then bursts into tears when alone and back in her room. The act she puts on is clearly unbearable at times.
At the end of this episode she is looking forward to meeting the one and only other handmaid who is also secretly rebellious and wants to make huge changes, only to find out that her friend has been replaced and she doesn’t know what’s happened to her.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
June has lost everything including her own child and now lives in an oppressive world, imprisoned, in an unbearable situation.

ASSIGNMENT 2:

Tell us the journey of your show.

An unlikely friendship between two women takes a dark turn as they find themselves drawn into a world of deception, violence and murder.

2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show?

Nadine and Zoe.

3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.

A. Role in the show:
Zoe is the daughter of Leo, a once powerful lawyer who has had a stroke.
Nadine is Leo’s full time carer/nurse. </div>

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise:
Both women are well experienced at pretending to be something they’re not. Nadine also is a nurse, has access to powerful and illegal drugs.

C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
Zoe puts on an act to her friends and family that everything is find in her marriage when it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Nadine is not who she says she is. She is not there to care for Leo – in fact she wants to destroy him and his family.

D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?
Nadine – drugging people, changing her identity, stealing, being implicit in a murder.
Zoe – having her husband, and then later Nadine, followed, breaking into offices, computers, using sleeping pills to knock someone out.
E. Unpredictable: What will they do next?
We know at some stage Nadine is on a vendetta but what lengths she will go to and what she will do to her friend is unknown. We don’t know what Zoe is capable of. She has lived in fear for a long time but her back is against the wall and her family is now at risk.

F. Empathetic: Why do we care?
Zoe is trapped and too afraid to take a leap of faith and leave a desperately unhappy situation. She is so scared of taking a risk, she is thinking of all the worst things that could happen and not the best thing that might happen. Most people have experienced this at some stage in their life and most people have experience having to put on a brave face when internally their world is crumbling.
Nadine has lost everything. Her family, her baby. She is up against powerful people that think they can do whatever they want to people without the money or means to fight them. She is the underdog and everyone wants the underdog to win at some point.

[Natasha Le Petit]

What I learned doing this assignment is to really nut out who are the important characters. Even writing a one sentence line (which I went over), made me hone in on the two leads and think about their internal struggles, not just the external.

Assignment 1:

The Handmaid’s Tale

A: June, the commander and his wife, Ofglen

B: Aunt Lydia, the small circle of handmaids, Nick

C: The guards, the aunts, the Marthas.

Assignment 2:

My show:

A: Zoe , Nadine

B: , Alexander, James, Jordy, Claudia, Leo

C: the media, the nursing home staff, the friends, police

Zoe – late forties, two children, doesn’t work, married to a lawyer who took over her father’s firm. She is deeply insecure, afraid and feels trapped in an unhappy and controlling marriage. Tries to keep up appearances for their mutual friends and children. Every now and then erupts into a fit of rage from bottling everything up.

Nay – early forties – is a carer at a nursing home. She appears to be humble, hard working and will always give to others before herself. But she is far stronger and more cunning than meets the eye. She struggles with wanting to live by her Aunt’s motto of being kind no matter what with her desire to seek revenge on those who took her baby and killed her Aunt.

[Natasha Le Petit]

I learnt just how much you need to think about and have in your pilot and each episode. that I need to make sure all of these questions posted are included in my own show.

I did ‘Handmaid’s Tale’

What is the big hook of this show?

A virus has made the majority of women infertile. In response, the US becomes a totalitarian, God fearing, state where the few women who can become pregnant, are forced to live with and become surrogates for wealthy families.

Amazing and Intriguing Characters

Aunt Lydia – so passionate and caring in some ways about her handmaidens and yet follows the rules to a t- has no hesitation in torturing or killing those that break the rules.

June is fiercely strong – they haven’t broken her. On the surface she follows the rules and speaks the way she has been taught to speak but her voice overs show what’s really going on in her mind.

Handmaid, Oglen – she is distrusted by June at first, but now we see she is a rebel, she tried to escape, she warns June. She knows a lot more than June does.

Nick – seems to like June but can he be trusted, is he just trying to test her?

Empathy / Distress

Opens with June and her husband and child on the run. June is forced to separate from her husband and she hears gun shots. They are then captured and her child is taken from her. Now June lives in a harsh environment kept prisoner, forced to have sex with a stranger each month in order to get pregnant, and has no idea where her daughter is or who she can trust.

Layers / Open Loops

What has happened to June’s daughter? Will she see her again?

Will June get pregnant? What is the ‘colony’ that is even worse than Gilliard? Is her friend, Moira, dead?

Who can she trust? Who is the ‘eye’ in the house that she needs to be careful of? Can she trust Nick?

Inviting Obsession

will June ever escape, will she see her daughter again?

How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode?
We are introduced to a new world and we want to see more of it. The world itself is terrifying. No one can trust anyone. Punishment is severe. How did it come to be? What chances could there be of escape? We want to see how June can navigate and survive this new world, how can she escape. How can she find her daughter? Who are these other characters and how did they come to be this way?

[Natasha Le Petit]

Hi everyone,

My name is Natasha (Tash) Le Petit and I’m from Sydney. We are still in lockdown..boo 🙁 and it’s been dragging on for two months now. But I am determined to make the most of my time with my writing. I worked in the Australian film industry for several years, did BA in writing and I have written a handful of scripts – (one is a feature and optioned and about to go into pre-production). I LOVE nothing more than a binge worthy TV series. I have recently developed an idea that I would like to turn into a tv show and hoping to do that with this course. It’s so good to chat with other writers on the same journey (even if its only online). I am very excited about this course and can’t wait to see what everyone is up to.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Natasha le Petit

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Natasha Le Petit]

Natasha Le Petit

I agree to the terms of this release form

[Natasha Le Petit]

Hey Rob, lock down sucks and you guys have certainly had it worse than us. I worked for the Sydney Film Festival and Screen Australia. My feature script, was optioned back in 2019 and it’s been a roller coast ride and I have learnt so much since then – how the industry works, and certainly my writing has improved so much from all the re-writes needed to be done on the script. TV is another story altogether and I’m just glad I’ve signed up for this course. Good luck to everyone!