[Pamela PerryGoulardt]

What I learned doing this assignment is…How to find your main hook.

The big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is how to let go of fear and think beyond just yourself.

Elevator Pitch:

Two kids get caught in the lair of a hungry mutant cannibal Merman Wizard and must either run for their lives or assist him in saving the planet.

[Pamela PerryGoulardt]

1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?

I would present myself as an Award-Winning Produced Screenwriter and Experimental Film Producer. I would suggest looking at my IMDb profile.

I would present my project as an Award Winning script listed on my IMDb profile.

I would emphasize that although my script is Horror/Fantasy for all ages it is socially relevant, winning a live table read from both ‘Socially Relevant IFF” and “Great Message IFF. The underlying theme is about water pollution and an opportunity to turn things around.

2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?

I am not sure if I would present myself to a Manager. Being older, I have experienced prejudice within the industry. I am not boo-hooing. I understand this, a manager wants to have someone they can build a career and an income with, I don’t want to waste my time or anybody else’s. I just want to find another ‘Door’ to get noticed and sell my script.

3. “What I learned today is” Being a screenwriter is a challenge and opportunity to rise to your greatest potential. There is never a moment when there is not something to learn, to practice, to rewrite, to think about. Writing the script is 1/2 of the job at best. You have to practice and go out there and MARKET. I used to sell furniture at a fancy store. Your salary was commission only. You earned a percentage of what you sold. Selling is a skill that you can learn. I took classes from Brian Tracy and Zig Zigler. One of the biggest ‘secrets’ I learned was ‘ask for the sale’. This increased my sales by 50%. Selling a screenplay is the same – LEARN THE SECRETS like HOOKS, and Participating in opportunities which are everywhere.

+1

[Pamela PerryGoulardt]

Marketability of ‘Underwater Hazards’ An Animated (or not) Horror Fantasy.

It was initially written to have actors, but I sent it out for several high-end professional script coverage services and they all said “This has to be Animated”

Searching for a missing friend, an eco-friendly young girl swims into the lair of a Mutant Merman Wizard, handicapped from Ocean Pollution.

WIDE AUDIENCE FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY

SOCIALLY RELEVANT

HAS WON 14 IMDb Film Festivals including several table reads.

GREAT CHARACTERS

EXCITING VISUAL EFFECTS (Two searchers for the kids fall into an underground tunnel that starts to spin and creates frightening noises and special effects (Like a Futuristic Haunted House).

GREAT TITLE – UNDERWATER HAZARDS

Several reviews compared the story to “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”

[Pamela PerryGoulardt]

What I learned today was the difference between a LOGLINE and a HOOK.

I have a multi-layered story so the logline is not as effective as the Hooks Can be.

Title: Underwater Hazards

Genre: Animated Horror/Fantasy

Logline: Searching for her lost classmate, an eco-conscious girl from an exclusive private school swims into the lair of a Mutant Merman Wizard deformed from Ocean Pollution.

The Merman is having a Birthday Party and has caught the missing boy as the main course. (Fish were the first meat eaters on the planet, he’s half fish, he eats people.)

I wanted to have a Horror script in my portfolio. I am NOT a traditional Horror fan, but as I was walking past a lake I noticed a sign that read “Underwater Hazards May Exist”. I looked up what they were referring to and it said that before WW1 underwater hazards were rocks, tree branches etc., after WW1 it also stands for hundreds of thousands of BOMBS and cannister filled with Poisonous Gasses that were dumped into the ocean and can detonate or spread their dangerous deadly toxins at any time. That was the scariest, most horrible thing I had ever heard, so I decided to weave that concept into my Horror Story.

What is most attractive about the story is that opposite sides come together to do something about Ocean Pollution. The sea characters are funny and all have supernatural qualities, such as Lady Tako, an Octopus is a shape shifter(an Octopus characteristic), and Reefer is a lawyer Shark who lost an eye to an underwater bomb, and his Dorsal Fin to “Shark’s Fin Soup” but he is tough and optimistic. Hazard is the Merman Wizard who has built a Quantum computer. Polly is Polynesian and learns her mother came from the same island as Lady Tako, and Wyatt (the missing boy’s Mom is a disgraced DNA Quantum Physicist who succeeds in helping Hazard remove the excess Carbon from the ocean and the mutant disease from his DNA.

I am focusing on Agents looking for stories like mine. I have made several pitches from the viewpoint of my logline, but I can see I need to use Hooks instead.

[Pamela PerryGoulardt]

Pamela PerryGoulardt

I agree to the terms of this release form.

If you agree to the terms of the release form, then you can post your assignments into the group and your cohort can give feedback on them.

Also, if you don’t agree to this group confidentiality agreement, you’ll still need to sign an agreement that says you will keep the strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Pamela PerryGoulardt]

Hi, I’m Pamela PerryGoulardt. I am an Award-winning produced screenwriter. I am taking the class because I need to get on more solid ground with my pitching. I’ve written over thirty scripts(I LOVE writing screenplays.) I am a graduate of ScreenwritingU MASTER class as well as many other fabulous screenplay classes by Hal and Cheryl.

For something special about me go to my Website: FlyingCloudStudios.com