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  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    April 13, 2022 at 1:54 am in reply to: Day 6 Assignments

    Pat’s Transformational Structure

    What I learned doing this assignment is that change occurs in gradually. I also learned that you can have multiple levels of transformation in a single journey.

    1. Tell us your Transformational Logline.

    2. Tell us who the main character will be:

    Change Agent:
    Transformational Character(s):

    3. List out your Mini-Movie structure, (or whatever structure you’ve chosen) for your story.

    4. Go back through and make sure you’ve covered each the following:

    – The Transformational Journey listed in your logline.
    – The Three Gradients.
    – It is sequenced in Escalating Challenges.

    Transformational Logline: A young man dreams of becoming a lauded Shakespearean actor, but when challenged by systematic racism, he neglects his wife and son before learning family is his most important accomplishment.

    Emotional Gradient:

    Two Schemas:

    1) Ira as Change Agent; Society/Press as Transformed Character (Forced Change – Professional Life)

    2) Margaret as Change Agent/Ira as Transformed Character (Desired Change – Personal Life)

    Mini Movie STRUCTURE

    Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure

    As a young boy, Ira and his brother are in a hurry to get somewhere. They watch a show from the wings of a theater. His brother drags him away during intermission.

    At home, they are greeted warmly by their mother who coughs incessantly. Ira spins out a line from Shakespeare, amusing her. He tells her he dreams of becoming an actor. Ira’s father, returns home from work and warns her it will be the death of her. He tells the boys they must come to work with him over the weekend.

    At 10, he’s devastated by his mother’s death. The boys ride with Daniel as he struggles to sell straw. He encourages Ira’s brother to try. Same result. But Ira spins a magnificent tale around the straw and people gather round to buy.

    At 15, His father wants him to go to divinity school and become a minister. Ira refuses and gets job aboard a sailing ship and travels south where a slave trader tries to buy him from the captain. Returning home safely, Ira works with a friend who works for an English Shakespearan actor. When his buddy becomes ill, Ira fills in.

    Vision – To become an actor

    Mini-Movie 2 – Locked Into Conflict

    The actor notes his keen interest and rhetorical abilities and proposes he travel to London to act. His father forces him into Divinity school where he is bored. An administrator and family friend gets Ira a scholarship at U of Glasgow.

    A. Emotion: Excitement
    B. Action: Ira wants to become an actor but his father wants him to go to Divinity School because he thinks Ira’s dreams are a pipe dream given the racism he experiences in the US. Ira receives an offer to travel to Europe, so he trades hoping to leave his racist struggles behind.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Forced into the lower annals of the boat. W: Naïve, thinking America is the only place blacks face racist situations,

    Ira sets sail with the actor as a valet. Aboard the ship, Ira is forced into the gallows, unable to be treated as an equal, something Ira expected.

    Change Agent: Ira

    Transformational Characters: Society

    Old Ways: Racist. Closed minded. Rigid. Calculating

    The Vision: To break the color barrier as a successful Shakesperean actor.

    Challenge: Segregation aboard the ship

    Weaknesses: Rules are arbitrary and Ira finds ways to circumvent the rules

    New Ways: Create an exception for Ira

    Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails

    Ira studies in Divinity school but travels to London on weekends to act. He meets Margaret. Eventually he ditches school and makes his London debut when he fills in for a sick actor The critics pan him. Margaret helps him “reinvent” himself. They marry.

    Most of the press don’t buy the new Ira and ratches up the pressure, but some do and hail his performances.

    A. Emotion: Doubt
    B. Action: Ira slips away from European Divinity School into theater and makes his debut performance. Despite rave reviews from the audience the critics pan him with bigotry. Margaret helps him develop coping mechanisms.
    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Bigotry; W: Believing the lies.

    Old ways: Racism, outrage

    Challenge: They despise the idea of a black man playing Shakespearean roles.

    Weaknesses: Bigotry

    Change Agent: Margaret: Ira fights back with Margaret help

    Vision: He will be a respected Shakesperean actor

    Old Ways: Racist Attacks referencing his physical features

    Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan

    A. Emotion: Hope
    B. Action: He marries Margaret & their strategies payoff. IRA leaves London. His popularity is gaining. IRA Widely accepted outside of London; buys Luranah Village; performs for the Queen (TP3);
    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: The press engages theater owners to limit or ban his performances. W: Infidelity which further infuriates the press.

    Vision: To tour outside of London to gain respect

    Old Ways: The press escalates to personal attacks when they realize he is succeeding in the Townships

    New Ways: Concede & Celebrate his talent when the Queen lauds his performance & encourages the palace staff and associates to see him

    MIDPOINT: Ira is successful in his professional goal, but his personal life begins to suffer

    Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails

    A. Emotion: Discouragement

    B. Action: Ira and Margaret develop a new strategy to perform outside of London.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: His work requires him to travel and leave Margaret home alone despite her becoming ill. W: No work-life balance.

    Professionally, Ira receives offers to perform in other European countries

    New Ways: The foreign press hails his performances

    Margaret shows signs of illness; She travels with him. Ira is sued; Buys more property. Margaret decides it’s best to stay home (not well). Ira returns home with a new baby, Ira Daniel, infuriating her; she offers her psychoanalysis

    Vision – To integrate his new family

    Old Ways: Indiscrete

    Challenge: Sexual temptation

    Weakness: Infidelity/Insecurity

    Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!

    A. Emotion: Courage

    B. Action: Ira performs in other countries for royalty and is treated like royalty

    C. Challenge / Weakness: Margaret dies; W: Familial neglect & guilt.

    Vision: To become a revered Shakesperean actor

    Margaret adapts to Ira Daniel; Margaret raises him as her own; Margaret suspects Ira has a mistress, Amanda; Margaret dies; Ira vows to turn over a new leaf.

    Old Ways: Indiscrete

    New Ways: Discrete

    Challenge: To become a better person

    Weakness: Losing Margaret

    Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis & Climax

    A. Emotion: Triumph

    B. Action: Although devastated after losing Margaret, Ira remarries and starts a new family. He returns to his international tour except this time he travels with his family and becomes a better family man. He is the highest paid Shakespearean actor. Ira Daniel is resentful; He tries acting, but fails. With a family of his own, he turns to crime and is sentenced to prison.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Ira Daniel is failing while his new family is thriving W: It’s too late to repair the relationship with Ira Daniel

    Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo

    He plans to return to the US to see his American family and mentor other black actors. The skies the limit. On stage, he collapses. He has a vision of boarding a ship and being reunited with his father and mother who tell him he’s going home. In his mind, he’s fulfilling his dream to return to the US. He dies and is given a King’s burial.

    New Way: Family and helping others are his first priority

    Profound Truth: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not”

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    April 12, 2022 at 10:42 pm in reply to: Day 8 Assignments

    Pat’s Profound Ending

    What I learned doing this assignment is by mapping out your ending, you can ensure it rises to the occasion of being profound.

    Design your ending to have a profound impact.

    1. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending?

    Profound Truth: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you don’t.”

    Ira is constantly in search of approval and admiration in his quest to be a lauded Shakesperean actor. But when his first wife dies and his oldest son struggles in life, he wakens to the fact that he’s favored his career and selfish desires neglecting his wife and son. Upon realizing his errors

    2. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?

    Ira as a Change Agent for the Transformable London press, who begin righting racist rant reviews about his performances and ultimately, they concede he is a notable performer.

    Ira as a transformable character who moves from self-doubt to confidence with the help of Change Agent, Margaret, his first wife, who helps him build a successful career. But selfishly, he is repeatedly unfaithful to her and has failed to help his children and he vows he will turn over a new leaf on her death bed. He follows through with his second wife and their children.

    3. What are the setups/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?

    Answers to will Ira and Margaret get together? Can he be faithful? What is the impact of his absence on her and their son? Will he finally return to the US? Will he be a better husband and father to Amanda and their children?

    4. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?

    Ira has ended his European tour to spend more time with his family. He begins planning a US tour and plans to introduce his London family to his US family. He agrees to accept one final performance in Poland where he dies.

    5. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?

    Ira is given a royal funeral in Poland as the casket moves through the streets, it’s obvious he is a celebrated man amongst the Polish people. Perhaps the final line will be, “A ceremony fit for a king, he’s finally received respect he deserves.”

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    April 12, 2022 at 6:09 am in reply to: Day 7 Assignments

    Pat’s Connection with Audience

    What I learned doing this assignment is you can use one or all of the techniques to get the audience to connect with your character(s).

    Tell us which characters you are going to INTENTIONALLY create a connection with the audience.

    Ira as the Change Agent in Act I.

    With each character, tell us how you’ll use each of the four ways of connecting with the audience in the first 30 minutes of the movie.

    A. Relatability – Ira has a dream and he pursues it. Ira repeatedly returns to theater to act. When he’s not acting, he’s in the theater working. He is committed to fulfilling his dream.

    B. Intrigue – Will Ira be able to pursue his dream in spite of his father’s plans? Ira engages a mentor to work out a compromise between divinity school in the US vs divinity school in Scotland – a 4-hour train ride from London where he has an opportunity to gain exposure to London theater.

    C. Empathy – Ira loses his mother, his biggest fan. Ira has multiple conflicts with his father and stepmother over their plans for him which are different than the ones he has for himself.

    D. Likability – Ira has a big dream as a small child. Ira is witty, cunning and resourceful as demonstrated by his straw-selling abilities, sneaking into the theater, working out a compromise with his father, changing his status on the ship. Ira doesn’t give up easily.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    April 12, 2022 at 5:43 am in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

    Pat’s Transformational Structure

    What I learned doing this assignment is that change occurs in gradually. I also learned that you can have multiple levels of transformation in a single journey.

    1. Tell us your Transformational Logline.

    2. Tell us who the main character will be:

    Change Agent:
    Transformational Character(s):

    3. List out your Mini-Movie structure, (or whatever structure you’ve chosen) for your story.

    4. Go back through and make sure you’ve covered each the following:

    – The Transformational Journey listed in your logline.
    – The Three Gradients.
    – It is sequenced in Escalating Challenges.

    Transformational Logline: A young man dreams of becoming a lauded Shakespearean actor, but when challenged by systematic racism, he neglects his wife and son before learning family is his most important accomplishment.

    Emotional Gradient:

    Two Schemas:

    1) Ira as Change Agent; Society/Press as Transformed Character (Forced Change – Professional Life)

    2) Margaret as Change Agent/Ira as Transformed Character (Desired Change – Personal Life)

    Mini Movie STRUCTURE

    Mini-Movie 1 – Status Quo and Call to Adventure

    As a young boy, Ira and his brother are in a hurry to get somewhere. They watch a show from the wings of a theater. His brother drags him away during intermission.

    At home, they are greeted warmly by their mother who coughs incessantly. Ira spins out a line from Shakespeare, amusing her. He tells her he dreams of becoming an actor. Ira’s father, returns home from work and warns her it will be the death of her. He tells the boys they must come to work with him over the weekend.

    At 10, he’s devastated by his mother’s death. The boys ride with Daniel as he struggles to sell straw. He encourages Ira’s brother to try. Same result. But Ira spins a magnificent tale around the straw and people gather round to buy.

    At 15, His father wants him to go to divinity school and become a minister. Ira refuses and gets job aboard a sailing ship and travels south where a slave trader tries to buy him from the captain. Returning home safely, Ira works with a friend who works for an English Shakespearan actor. When his buddy becomes ill, Ira fills in.

    Vision – To become an actor

    Mini-Movie 2 – Locked Into Conflict

    The actor notes his keen interest and rhetorical abilities and proposes he travel to London to act. His father forces him into Divinity school where he is bored. An administrator and family friend gets Ira a scholarship at U of Glasgow.

    A. Emotion: Excitement
    B. Action: Ira wants to become an actor but his father wants him to go to Divinity School because he thinks Ira’s dreams are a pipe dream given the racism he experiences in the US. Ira receives an offer to travel to Europe, so he trades hoping to leave his racist struggles behind.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Forced into the lower annals of the boat. W: Naïve, thinking America is the only place blacks face racist situations,

    Ira sets sail with the actor as a valet. Aboard the ship, Ira is forced into the gallows, unable to be treated as an equal, something Ira expected.

    Change Agent: Ira

    Transformational Characters: Society

    Old Ways: Racist. Closed minded. Rigid. Calculating

    The Vision: To break the color barrier as a successful Shakesperean actor.

    Challenge: Segregation aboard the ship

    Weaknesses: Rules are arbitrary and Ira finds ways to circumvent the rules

    New Ways: Create an exception for Ira

    Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem – But Fails

    Ira studies in Divinity school but travels to London on weekends to act. He meets Margaret. Eventually he ditches school and makes his London debut when he fills in for a sick actor The critics pan him. Margaret helps him “reinvent” himself. They marry.

    Most of the press don’t buy the new Ira and ratches up the pressure, but some do and hail his performances.

    A. Emotion: Doubt
    B. Action: Ira slips away from European Divinity School into theater and makes his debut performance. Despite rave reviews from the audience the critics pan him with bigotry. Margaret helps him develop coping mechanisms.
    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Bigotry; W: Believing the lies.

    Old ways: Racism, outrage

    Challenge: They despise the idea of a black man playing Shakespearean roles.

    Weaknesses: Bigotry

    Change Agent: Margaret: Ira fights back with Margaret help

    Vision: He will be a respected Shakesperean actor

    Old Ways: Racist Attacks referencing his physical features

    Mini-Movie 4 – Hero Forms a New Plan

    A. Emotion: Hope
    B. Action: He marries Margaret & their strategies payoff. IRA leaves London. His popularity is gaining. IRA Widely accepted outside of London; buys Luranah Village; performs for the Queen (TP3);
    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: The press engages theater owners to limit or ban his performances. W: Infidelity which further infuriates the press.

    Vision: To tour outside of London to gain respect

    Old Ways: The press escalates to personal attacks when they realize he is succeeding in the Townships

    New Ways: Concede & Celebrate his talent when the Queen lauds his performance & encourages the palace staff and associates to see him

    MIDPOINT: Ira is successful in his professional goal, but his personal life begins to suffer

    Mini-Movie 5 – Hero Retreats & The Antagonism Prevails

    A. Emotion: Discouragement

    B. Action: Ira and Margaret develop a new strategy to perform outside of London.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: His work requires him to travel and leave Margaret home alone despite her becoming ill. W: No work-life balance.

    Professionally, Ira receives offers to perform in other European countries

    New Ways: The foreign press hails his performances

    Margaret shows signs of illness; She travels with him. Ira is sued; Buys more property. Margaret decides it’s best to stay home (not well). Ira returns home with a new baby, Ira Daniel, infuriating her; she offers her psychoanalysis

    Vision – To integrate his new family

    Old Ways: Indiscrete

    Challenge: Sexual temptation

    Weakness: Infidelity/Insecurity

    Mini-Movie 6 – Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!

    A. Emotion: Courage

    B. Action: Ira performs in other countries for royalty and is treated like royalty

    C. Challenge / Weakness: Margaret dies; W: Familial neglect & guilt.

    Vision: To become a revered Shakesperean actor

    Margaret adapts to Ira Daniel; Margaret raises him as her own; Margaret suspects Ira has a mistress, Amanda; Margaret dies; Ira vows to turn over a new leaf.

    Old Ways: Indiscrete

    New Ways: Discrete

    Challenge: To become a better person

    Weakness: Losing Margaret

    Mini-Movie 7 – Crisis & Climax

    A. Emotion: Triumph

    B. Action: Although devastated after losing Margaret, Ira remarries and starts a new family. He returns to his international tour except this time he travels with his family and becomes a better family man. He is the highest paid Shakespearean actor. Ira Daniel is resentful; He tries acting, but fails. With a family of his own, he turns to crime and is sentenced to prison.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Ira Daniel is failing while his new family is thriving W: It’s too late to repair the relationship with Ira Daniel

    Mini-Movie 8 – New Status Quo

    He plans to return to the US to see his American family and mentor other black actors. The skies the limit. On stage, he collapses. He has a vision of boarding a ship and being reunited with his father and mother who tell him he’s going home. In his mind, he’s fulfilling his dream to return to the US. He dies and is given a King’s burial.

    New Way: Family and helping others are his first priority

    Profound Truth: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not”

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    April 2, 2022 at 4:49 am in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

    Pat’s Three Gradients

    What I learned doing this assignment is it’s important to mirror the patterns and events of life. This exercise illustrates that we do not go through life unchallenged as much as we wish we could. It also emphasizes that we are constantly faced with choices that ultimately determine the journeys of our lives.

    Use this set of gradient tools to brainstorm your story. I’ve attached a handout with a grid for brainstorming the Three Gradients.

    Tell us the following:

    1. What is the Emotional Gradient you’ll use?

    I will use the Desired Change Gradient

    2. For each emotion of that gradient, tell us the following:

    A. Emotion: Excitement
    B. Action: Ira wants to become an actor but his father wants him to go to Divinity School because he thinks Ira’s dreams are a pipe dream given the racism he experiences in the US. Ira receives an offer to travel to Europe, so he trades hoping to leave his racist struggles behind.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Forced into the lower annals of the boat. W: Naïve, thinking America is the only place blacks are considered inferior.

    A. Emotion: Doubt
    B. Action: Ira slips away from European Divinity School into theater and makes his debut performance. Despite rave reviews from the audience the critics pan him with bigotry. Margaret helps him develop coping mechanisms.
    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: Bigotry; W: Believing the lies.

    A. Emotion: Hope
    B. Action: He marries Margaret & their strategies payoff. His popularity is gaining.
    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: The press engages theater owners to limit or ban his performances. W: Infidelity which further infuriates the press.

    A. Emotion: Discouragement

    B. Action: Ira and Margaret develop a new strategy to perform outside of London.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: His work requires him to travel and leave Margaret home alone despite her becoming ill. W: No work-life balance.

    A. Emotion: Courage

    B. Action: Ira performs in other countries and is treated like royalty. He plays before the Queen who loves his work. The press concedes not wanting to be in opposition with the queen.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: Margaret dies; W: Familial neglect & guilt.

    A. Emotion: Triumph

    B. Action: Ira remarries and returns to his international tour except this time he travels with his family and becomes a better family man. He plans to return to the US to see his American family and mentor other black actors. The skies the limit but he dies. He is given a King’s burial.

    C. Challenge / Weakness: C: He becomes ill. W: Death.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 30, 2022 at 10:53 pm in reply to: Day 4 Assignments

    DAY 4B ASSIGNMENT:

    TODAY: Watch and analyze DEAD POET’S SOCIETY.

    We are looking at this movie from the perspective of the change that occurs for the lead character and the audience.

    1. What is the change this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?

    – A teacher uses poetry to encourages boys to identify and pursue their life’s passions.

    2. Lead characters:

    – Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?

    – Keating is the change agent. As a former student and now, teacher he can guide his students through a transformation.

    – Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?

    – The students are the transformable characters

    – What is the Oppression?

    – The Oppression is a rigorous academic system mired in traditional ways of teaching which includes strict rules and the requirement to adhere to them.

    3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?

    – Keating encourages them to break the rules. The boys are enticed with this notion because it is unexpected and new to them.

    4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.”

    Identify their old way:

    Todd Anderson:

    – Lacks confidence in oration

    – Takes notes instead of reading poetry aloud

    Neil Perry:

    – Afraid to stand up to his father

    – Decides his path is to become an actor and wants to play Puck in a Shakespearean play

    – Todd Challenges Neil about his ambitions and reminds him of his father’s expectations.

    Charlie Dalton (Slick):

    – Hated the clarinet after being forced to take lessons for years, but has found solace in the saxophone.

    – Charlie brings girls to the Indian Cave and insists they need girls at the school.

    – Charlie challenges Mr. Nolan suggesting girls should be allowed to attend Welton. Mr. Nolan challenges Charlie with the paddle.

    Knox Overstreet:

    – Has a crush on a girl who is in love with a jerk.

    – He sees her at her school but is too afraid to talk to her

    – He calls her and she invites him to a party at her boyfriend’s her

    – Charlie challenges Knox’s expectation that she likes him but Knox insists the party being at the boyfriend’s house is meaningless.

    Cameron:

    – Clearly the outsider that no one trusts

    – Charlie challenges Cameron’s beliefs that they should conform to the rules

    Identify their new way at the conclusion:

    Todd Anderson:

    – Challenged by Keating to create a poem after not completing his homework and successfully creates an impromptu poem

    – Leads the group in honoring Keating as he leaves the classroom

    Neil Perry:

    – Pursues his dream and secures the role of Puck

    – Fulfills his commitment to play puck despite his father’s demand that he withdraw from the play

    – Determined not to go to military school, he takes his own life, defying his father’s plans

    Charlie Dalton (Slick):

    – Charlie remains defiant and refuses to rat out the other boys.

    Knox Overstreet:

    – Know kisses Chris as she sleeps and is punched out by her boyfriend, Chet.

    – Despite the dangers of running afoul Chet, Knox confesses his love to Chris

    – When Chris comes to Welton to tell Knox he embarrassed her and that he must stop, Knox convinces her to attend Neil’s play with him.

    – Knox places his hand on Chris’s hand and she doesn’t snatch it away, indicating she likes him too.

    Cameron:

    – Is still the outsider that no one trusts despite the bonding activities and the challenges. He is the only DPS character who doesn’t transform.

    5. What is the gradient change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?

    – In convocation they learn they are expected to adhere to the 4 principles – Tradition, Honor, Excellence, & Discipline. The informal version is Travesty, Horror, Decadence and Excrement which indicates their disdain for the rules and their openness to change.

    – The boys accept the monotonous, redundant, and repressive routines imposed by their instructors.

    – Keating takes them out of the classroom environment and gives them some fundamental knowledge about life. They are initially distrustful of him.

    – Keaton encourages them to rip out the Preface. They struggle with the idea before doing it.

    – They begin referring to Keaton as O Captain, my Captain.

    – Neil finds Keating annual yearbook in the library and they are curious about the Dead Poet’s Society (DPS). Keating tells him to burn it after he explains what it was about.

    – The boys track down the old Indian Cave and mimic the DPS.

    – The boys play soccer and carry Keating in victory. It signals they now trust him and admire him.

    6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?

    While each boy is challenged as stated above, Keating challenges them as a group by breaking the teaching norms at Welton.

    He continually challenges them by enlightening through poetry and teaches them lessons in compatibility and the acceptability of going their own way.

    7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?

    – Keating whispers Carpe Diem and tells the boys to make their lives extraordinary.

    – The boys’ magical, mystical journey from the school to the Indian Cave

    – The boys bond through poetry in the cave and as they return to the dorms

    – Keating reads Shakespeare in different accents.

    – Keating invites them to stand on the desk for a new perspective and think of their own lives as they read poetry

    – The boys break out – tap into Radio Free America and dance; fence on the hillside

    – Neil decides he wants to act instead of going to medical school

    – Keating draws a poem out of Todd, revealing some of Todd’s insecurities.

    – Keating combines soccer with poetry reading

    – Todd reveals to Neil that it’s his birthday and Todd has received the same desk set he received the year before from his parents, and Neil cheers him up.

    – Charlie excepts responsibility for the article by pretending to answer the phone and says it’s for Mr. Nolan.

    – Charlie faces the paddle, but doesn’t rat out the other boys.

    – Neil’s father demands he withdraw from the play

    – Through Knox’s persistence, he gets Chris

    – Neil stands up to his father by finishing the play although he knows his father is in the auditorium

    – The boys YAWP for Neil after his performance as Puck.

    – Everyone lauds Neil’s performance except his father, who demands Keating to stay away from his son, followed by him hustling Neil away from the theater.

    – Neil plots his own demise. He stands in the window bare-chested and places Puck’s thorny crown on his head – reminiscent of Jesus, the sacrificial lamb. Then he descends to the basement to kill himself.

    – Neil’s parents weep and mourn over their dead son.

    – The boys learn Neil is dead and Todd breaks down.

    – Keating reads the opening verse to the DPS meeting, realizing how it may have influenced Neil’s decisions, and he sobs.

    – Cameron rats the boys out and informs them Nolan and the board of directors are going after Keating.

    – Todd sits in Mr. Nolan’s office as Nolan reads misstatements about Keating’s actions. He sees is peers have all signed the document.

    – Keating looks out the window and sees his fellow faculty member teaching the students outside. He’s left his mark in more ways than one.

    – Keating enters the classroom and Todd comes to his defense before Nolan forces him out of the classroom. Much is left unsaid between Keating and Todd until…

    – Todd stands on his desk and says, “O Captain, my Captain” and the other’s join in.

    8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?

    – Gather the rosebuds while thee may. Time is a flying and these same flowers today will be dying. Carpe Diem – Seize the day.

    – We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race and the human race is filled with passion…. You are here because life exists in identity and the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.

    – These boys (former students) are now fertilizing daffodils

    – Dare to strike out and find new ground

    – Robert Frost – Two roads diverge…

    – When the boys say, “Yes, Captain” after receiving an assignment.

    – Charlie: “Mr. Nolan, it’s for you. It’s God. He said you should have girls at Welton.

    – Charlie: Damnit Neil, the name is Uwanda (indicating he didn’t turn the other boys in).

    – Keating: There’s a time for daring and time for caution and a wise man understands which is called for.

    – When Neil reads the lines from Puck in the final scene, it is as if he’s asking his father to make amends.

    – Neil’s mother’s denial that Neil is dead. “He’s alright, he’s alright, he’s alright.”

    – The final time the DPS boys say “O Captain, my Captain,” as they stand on their desks.

    9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?

    The ending pays off the setups:

    – Learning and adapting the phrase, “O Captain, my Captain.”

    – The boys are challenged to seize the day and to live life out loud and they begin to let go of their compliant behavior.

    – The boys incorporate and enjoy poetic expressions in their everyday lives.

    – That Cameron is a “boot licker.” He sides with the administration instead of with his fellow DPS members.

    – The divergent paths mentioned in the Robert Frost poem are paid off – Neil taking control of his life by pursuing acting, Charlie challenging the boys only policy of the school, Knox relentlessly pursuing Chris, Cameron ratting out the boys, and Todd defying Nolan by showing honor to Keating.

    10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?

    – Carpe Diem. Seize the day before you die, unfulfilled.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 30, 2022 at 2:46 am in reply to: Day 4 Assignments

    DAY 4A ASSIGNMENT:
    —————–

    Pat’s Lead Characters

    What I learned doing this assignment is that just like we created underpinnings in the character arc, we are beginning to create them in the plot. These characters will create conflict and emotion, and influence the character to rise of fall during their journey.

    1. Tell us your transformational journey logline.

    A young man dreams of becoming a lauded Shakespearean actor, but when challenged by systematic racism, he neglects his wife and son before learning family is his most important accomplishment.

    2. Tell us who you think might be your Change Agent and give a few sentences about how that character fits the role. Also, include:

    – Their vision:
    – Their past experience that fits that vision:

    Change Agent: Ira’s wife who has learned how to manipulate societal thinking. Her vison is “think not who you are, think who you shall be.”

    3. Tell us who you think might be your Transformable Character(s) and give a few sentences about how that character or characters fit the role.

    Ira is committed to becoming a Shakespearean actor. When he arrives in England, he discovers that England is just as racist as America is confounded by journalists attempts to keep him from performing in London’s theaters.

    4. Tell us who or what you think might be The Oppression and give a few sentences about how The Oppression works in your story.

    The Oppression is systematic racism which becomes a barrier to Ira’s success.

    5. Tell us who you think might be your Betraying Character and give a few sentences about how that character fits the role.

    I’m not sure yet if the Betraying Character is Daniel, Ira’s oldest son who is busy feeling sorry for himself that he is unable to do anything good with his life or for his own family.

    Or if it is Barry, the editor that refuses to recognize Ira’s success despite the other journalists doing so.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 30, 2022 at 2:12 am in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

    Pat’s Transformational Journey

    What I learned doing this assignment is that defining the start and end points of the character arc and the qualities the character will demonstrate are key to defining the gradient changes.

    1. Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.

    A young man dreams of becoming a lauded Shakespearean actor, but when challenged by systematic racism, he neglects his wife and son before learning family is his most important accomplishment.

    2. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.

    · Selfish

    · Neglectful husband

    · Neglectful parent

    · Unfaithful

    · Sees being American as a burden

    · No desire to return home to visit relatives

    3. Tell us what you see as the New Ways.

    · Generous

    · Tentative husband

    · Adoring parent

    · Monogamous

    · Wants to return home to see family

    · Wants to mentor American youth

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 29, 2022 at 11:33 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

    Pat’s First Three Decisions

    What I learned doing this assignment is these are important questions to consider as I develop my profound roadmap.

    Give us your three decisions

    1. What is your profound truth?

    “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not”

    2. What is the change your movie will cause with an audience?

    I would like the audience to question their own lives and their own value systems by seeing this character overcome obstacles to achieve his dream of success while also realizing the emotional harm to his family.

    3. What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?

    I have chosen THE EMBELLISHED AS-IT-HAPPENED CONFLICT. Because there is a historical basis for the story, and the events occurred centuries ago, I must embellish the story to fill in the gaps and make it more entertaining.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 23, 2022 at 3:21 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

    Pat’s Analysis of Groundhog Day

    What I learned doing this assignment is a movie I didn’t “get” before has meaning. By using the map, I was better able to digest the movie and understand why it is deserving of the accolades it received. I hope to use the map to make a better screenplay.

    1. Read the example I’ve attached of my analysis of THE MATRIX to get a real feel for how to do this kind of analysis.

    2. Watch the movie GROUNDHOG DAY to analyze it.

    3. As you do, answer the questions below to analyze what makes this a Transformational movie.

    We are looking at this movie from the perspective of the change that occurs for the lead character and the audience.

    _________

    QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

    1. What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?

    2. Lead characters:

    – Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change?

    RITA is the opposite of Phil. She is pleasant, positive and doesn’t mind speaking openly about his flaws. Also, Phil is interested in her so through their time together, she is a logical choice as a change agent.

    – Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey?

    PHIL is a jerk. He’s negative and doesn’t mind sharing his feelings of negativity with others.

    – What is the Oppression?

    Most notably, Phil’s behavior and demeanor toward others is his oppressor. Phil is his own worst enemy. On the surface, Phil believes having to relive Groundhog Day is the oppressor.

    3. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story?

    · Relatability:

    o Phil is dissatisfied with his job, evidenced by his lackadaisicalness.

    o His co-workers disrespect him by not retaining knowledge about him and overinflating the value of his work

    · Irony:

    o Phil shares a name with the Groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil

    o The towns people are excited about of Groundhog Day, but he despises it

    · Anticipation:

    o Will Phil leave the network?

    o How will Phil’s relationship with Rita develop, it at all?

    o Will the blizzard arrive? If so, how will affect him?

    o How will Phil manage when he is forced to return to Punxsutawney?

    o Is Phil being real with Rita or is this just another con?

    o Will Rita and Phil get together?

    · Intrigue:

    o What’s happening to Phil?

    o Why can’t fill die?

    o How is Phil suddenly omnipotent?

    o How can he predict the future?

    o What’s up with the homeless man?

    · Confirmation

    o Phil has a thing for Rita

    o Phil will likely pursue Rita.

    o Rita outbids everyone in the charity auction signaling he has changed and he’s the right one for her.

    · Humor

    o Seeing Phil fumble, making one mistake after the other, until he figures it out.

    4. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.

    · Identify their old way:

    o Sarcastic

    o Arrogant

    o Condescending

    o Sexist

    o Distant

    o Selfish

    o Inpatient

    · Identify their new way at the conclusion:

    o Sincere

    o Selfless

    o Authentic

    o Interested in a meaningful relationship

    o Embracing & belonging

    o Generous with his time

    5. What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?

    · Being indifferent and overconfident to questioning his own reality. He senses a loss of control and admits he needs help and seeks it from Rita, a doctor, and a psychologist with no consequence, accentuating the point that the solution doesn’t reside with others

    · With no help, Phil confides in 2 locals and sets off in an adventure, evading the police, breaking common-sense rules. There’s no meaningful change. Going off the deep end is not an answer.

    · Phil learns to avoid some of his old mistakes by being nice to Mrs. Lancaster, even kissing her, and plans to stay an extra day. He also avoids the sinkhole. But he persists with some of the others e.g., punching Ned. Just when we think is becoming a nice guy by asking the lady in the restaurant questions about her life, we realize he only asked so he could pick up another woman.

    · Phil attempts to be Mr. Nice Guy with Rita – changing his drink order, changing the toast, making a snowman, dancing in the carousel, planning to show her one thing and kicking her out. He doesn’t keep his promise. She slaps him. He’s still manipulating.

    · Rita repeatedly slaps Phil, symbolizing he’s still relying on manipulation to win her over. This begins to break him down as he searches for the answer how to win her over. Phil turns cynical and outright mean, realizing he has no answers as to how to break the cycle.

    · Desperate Phil kidnaps Punxsutawney Phil and makes several suicide attempts. He drives over a cliff, smashing the roof and the truck is engulfed in flames, he drops a toaster in a tub of water, he stands in front of oncoming truck, and jumps off of a tall building. It accentuates the point that a physical death is not the solution.

    · Phil accepts his fate of reliving Groundhog Day. Rita offers to follow him around for a day as a witness. He confesses his flaw of being a jerk. When she stays the night, he’s a gentleman and doesn’t make a pass at her.

    · Phil actually becomes a nice guy. He gives money to the beggar, brings coffee to Rita and Larry. He gets to know Larry, is nice to the co-occupant in the Inn, and he’s so nice to Ned that even Ned can’t stand it.

    · Phil begins to take chances, a sign of being open to vulnerability. He notices the music in the coffee shop and takes piano lessons. He struggles through the lessons. He shows his hidden talent by making an ice sculpture. He is now focusing on himself, but in a different way. He no longer focuies on his misery but on how he can become a better human being.

    · He sees the old man struggling and takes him to the hospital. He refuses to accept his death and demands to see the chart. Somehow, the old man is revived, but the old man dies again. A sign that even acts kindness may not change life’s course for others. Another person’s life is beyond his control.

    · Phil becomes selfless: he makes a new, meaningful report on Groundhog Day. Saves the boy falling from the tree, repairs the old lady’s flat tire, performs the Heimlich maneuver on a restaurant guest. Not only attends the Groundhog Day dinner, but plays a piano jam at it. He impresses Rita. He is humble refusing to speak about is acts of kindness as others make positive declarations about him.

    · After winning Rita over with authenticity, he awakens the next morning with her by his side. The radio broadcast plays, “I’ve got you, Babe” but Rita lies next to him and the radio broadcast finally changes. Phil has found happiness.

    6. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?

    · Day 2 -. It can’t still be Groundhog Day. The DJ’s used a tape. But they didn’t. It’s still Groundhog Day.

    · Day 3 – Maybe it is me. Phil admits he has a problem. He will ask others to help him fix it, but they can’t.

    · Phil tries many different approaches to break the cycle of Groundhog Day. Physical destruction of objects that signal the cycle. It doesn’t work.

    · Manipulating others. It doesn’t work.

    · Physical Self destruction – doesn’t work.

    · After Phil exhausts his external solutions, he turns inward. As he makes changes, the world responds but not enough to break the cycle or to find true love.

    · Once Phil learns to be authentic, positive, consistent changes happen. It’s not them, it’s him.

    7. What are the most profound moments of the movie?

    · When Phil realizes he’s reliving the same day over and over.

    · When he realizes it’s out of his control.

    · When he attempts suicide and nothing changes.

    · When he whispers nice things to Rita, focusing on her character, as she sleeps.

    · When Phil tries to save the homeless man but can’t.

    · When Phil shows signs of vulnerability, winning others over.

    8. What are the most profound lines of the movie?

    · When on his car adventure with the 2 locals:

    “You make choices and you live with them.”

    · When stuffing his face in front of Rita, she quotes Sir Walter Scott:

    “The wretch, concentered all in self,
    Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
    And, doubly dying, shall go down
    To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
    Unwept, unhonored, and unsung.”

    · When Rita slaps him for coming on too strong:

    “That’s for making me care about you.”

    · When Phil exhausts all of his avenues to break the Groundhog Day cycle:

    “I’ve come to the end of me. There’s no way out.”

    · When his whispers of sweet nothings are about Rita’s character, not his desire for sex

    9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?

    · Phil tries to die physically but that isn’t the answer.

    · Phil becomes selfless and authentic and that’s the answer to breaking the cycle and finding happiness from within.

    · We know the cycle is broken when he wakes up and Rita is lying next to him and the radio broadcast changes.

    · Phil no longer wants to escape Punxsutawney, but wants to start a new life there.

    10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?

    · Change comes from within.

    · You are the choices you make.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 21, 2022 at 7:43 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    Pat Shelby

    I agree to the terms of this release form.

    GROUP RELEASE FORM

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 21, 2022 at 7:41 pm in reply to: Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Hi everyone,

    Looking forward to the class and working with/meeting you, especially if you live in the L.A. area.

    I’ve written 5 scripts and I am working on the 6th one. This is my 6th Screenwriting U class. The other 5 were ProSeries, BingeWorthy, Scene Mastery, Paid Writing Assighments, and the 30-Day Screenplay. I wrote a script during ProSeries. With Hal and Cheryl’s guidance, and with the insightful, constructive feedback from my classmates and profressional readers, received 7 accolades this year and last year after submitting to various contests.

    I hope to learn new techniques that will aide me in deepening my stories and help me get my script produced.

    Something unique about me is that in college, I interviewed for a full-time position. I interviewd with a technical lead and others. Via a misunderstanding about desired salary, the technical lead recommend I not get the job because my request was above the pay scale. Not only did I get the job, but the lead and I married 2 years later. 😂

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 3, 2022 at 10:14 pm in reply to: Day 12 Assignments

    Pat’s Marketing Plan

    What I learned doing this assignment is to be reasonable and practical especially when you are first starting out. Also, getting assignments is part of a statistical feat and you must take risks and make any requests to get one.

    Put together a plan to market yourself to producers.

    1. Write your email request for writing assignments in your own words.

    Hi (Producer’s Name),

    I see that you produce Historical Fiction and Biographical Dramas. That is my specialty also.

    I just wanted to let you know that I am available for writing assignments, including rewriting screenplays, adapting books, or writing spec scripts. I’d be happy to send a writing sample to familiarize you with my work.

    My most recent film script, “Good Little Troublemakers,” is based on actual events. It received seven (7) accolades, including Finalist Santa Barbara International Screenplay Awards (2/2022) and (Second Rounder at the Austin Film Festival 10/21).

    If the timing is not suitable for you, I am open to referrals.

    Thank you for your time and attention, and feel free to reach out to me if I can help.

    Best regards,

    Pat Shelby

    Name:

    Phone:

    Email:

    LinkedIn:

    Twitter:

    2. Create a plan for marketing yourself. Give us the first three things you are going to do when you are ready to start marketing.

    1st task: Create quality query letters and sent to producers.

    2<sup>nd</sup> task: LinkedIn contacts and send email.

    3<sup>rd</sup> task: Expand my network through referrals and social media.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 1, 2022 at 1:43 am in reply to: Day 11 Assignments

    Pat’s Plan for Increasing Perceived Value

    What I learned doing this assignment is to be positive as you approach negotiations, and at the same time, be reasonable about your expectations. Don’t oversell or undersell yourself by being cognizant of the situation you are facing.

    Since much of what gets you deals and/or paid is perceived value, tell us your plan to increase your perceived value with producers.

    1. What is your speciality? Describe your expertise in that speciality in one or two sentences.

    I specialize in research, script development, and dramatization for biographical and historical fiction for film and television.

    2. How many producers do you have in your LinkedIn Network?

    A. Go to your LinkedIn page. In the search box, put in the word “producer.” Click Search.

    I have 117 producers in my LinkedIn Network

    B. When the list of producers comes up, it will be for all producers. On the right hand side, you’ll see boxes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Click 1st.

    1<sup>st</sup>: 7

    2<sup>nd</sup>: 8

    3<sup>rd</sup>: 2

    C. With your search narrowed to producer and 1st connections, you’ll have an accurate number.

    3. Looking at the list above titled “Increasing Your Perceived Value,” please tell us your plan for increasing your value in these three time frames:

    A. Today

    -My plan for today is to update my profile by adding my specialty.

    -Build more connections by accepting/initiating requests

    -Return/initiate messages to producers, especially those who work in a similar field

    B. In the next 30 days

    -Continue steps in A

    -Revise query letter

    -Send letter for script requests

    -Send script

    -Apply for fellowships and make face-to-face contacts.

    C. In the next 6 months

    -Continue steps in A & B

    -Expand personal network

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 24, 2022 at 12:51 am in reply to: Day 10 Assignments

    Pat is a Note Taking Professional!

    What I learned is even if you’re not in love with the idea of having to make major changes to your script, you should consider them and be open to the possibilities. I found that even if I don’t take the changes to the degree I state below, I will likely come out with a better product for having gone through the exercise.

    1. Tell us the logline of your treatment from the last assignment:

    Against the odds, a young African-American boy journeys to Europe to become the first recognized black Shakespearean actor, but his obsession comes with a cost.

    2. Tell us how you would honor each of the following requests:

    Cut the budget in half: I think the most obvious place to cut the budget is to location shoot for establishing shots only and recreate sets domestically vs incurring travel costs and location costs in Europe which could easily costs millions. Secondly, I would streamline the subplots or try to overlay them in the main plot wherever possible to reduce the number of pages and scenes.

    – Write it for a different audience (quadrant): Although, the character is a male lead, period dramas tend to attract females 17-50. In order to attract a larger male audience, I would need to consider more carefully, Ira’s role from a male POV.

    – Double the conflict: There is ample conflict but I think I would need to add violence and have more face-to-face confrontation between the men.

    – Change the sex and age of the lead character: That would be challenging because it’s biographical, however, I could choose to create a more stylized, fictional story told from the point of view of his wife, Margaret, with whom Ira spent most of his life.

    – Change the genre – The genre could be switched from Drama to Comedy by changing the tone and amplifying the comedic elements to the story, e.g. Ira as a hustler and a huckster.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 23, 2022 at 11:50 pm in reply to: Day 9 Assignments

    Pat’s Decreased Budget

    What I learned doing this assignment is even when you think you’re working with a small budget, there is always room to cut. The main point is to focus on telling the story and make sure the drama and emotion comes through.

    1. Run through this list and tell us how many ways (at least five ways) you can decrease the budget on your High Budget screenplay and what changes you might make in the script to do that.

    MAIN VARIABLES

    A. Number of Locations – I suspect many of the scenes will be in different theaters throughout Europe. Costs can be minimized by using a basic stage but by varying curtains, depth of the stage, decorative trim, etc. Also, I can outright limit the number of locations through decisions about where the scenes take place.

    B. Expensive locations – I can also minimize expensive locations by using establishing shots for the exterior and using stages to mimic the inside.

    C. Number of characters – I believe once I focus and fine-tune the script, I can reduce the number of characters, especially those with speaking parts. It’s much easier to do once I identify the core of the story and eliminate extraneous scenes and story lines.

    D. Night scenes – most of the night scenes take place indoors in the theater.

    E. Crowd scenes – In this script there are potentially several scenes with a crowds or people walking through the scene but these can be minimized fairly easily.

    2. With a major scene that depends upon a “high budget variable,” take it through the process of finding another way to deliver on the dramatic goal.

    A. Tell us about the high budget item in your script that you are letting go of.

    – A scene where Ira departs for England on a ship and we see the wide-open expanse of the large vessel and the ocean.

    B. Ask, “What is the dramatic goal am I trying to accomplish with this scene?”

    – The dramatic goal I am trying to accomplish is a sense of adventure and leaving the old world behind as he travels to a new world full of possibilities.

    C. Ask, “How can I accomplish the dramatic goal without the expense?”

    – Rather than shooting on water, this scene could be accomplished by using green screen, which would reduce the cost and weather-related risks.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 21, 2022 at 6:09 am in reply to: Day 8 Assignments

    Pat’s Rewrite of Fran Emerson’s Treatment

    What I learned doing this assignment is that it is really difficult to listen without giving feedback. The most important thing is to get onboard with the Producer’s vision.

    As the producer, I really wanted the writer to listen without critiquing. I didn’t mind suggestions like, “maybe you could expand on this or blow this up,” but beyond that, sometimes it felt awkward getting feedback when this should be primarily a listening assignment. It’s especially tough with historical fiction because sometimes the details are not available, or you haven’t’ come across them yet, or filled them in.

    As the writer, I enjoyed hearing the vision, but at times, it was tough to keep up with the notes.

    Overall, this was a good learning experience.

    TITLE: PRINCESS ILIA (Working Title)

    GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY/ DRAMA

    LOGLINE: An innocent, young princess is raped by her power-mad uncle, sending her on a journey of love, war, and conquest—and the founding of the greatest empire the world has ever known.

    LEAD CHARACTERS:

    • ILIA – a beloved princess abused by her Uncle Amulius, escapes and later seeks revenge

    • AMULIUS– a power-hungry brother of ruler Numitor, dethrones and castrates his brother, confines Ilia, and murders Numitor’s sons.

    • ROMULUS & REMUS – Ilia’s long-lost sons with whom she is reunited.

    AUDIENCE: Adults 25+, R-Rated

    BUDGET: $100M

    STRUCTURE: The Hero’s Journey

    OPENING IMAGE: 771 BCE – Italy’s magnificent shores are in stark contrast to the ugliness that lies ahead. AMULIUS walks with an advisor. He speaks of Numitor, perceiving him as weak and spineless. Amulius comments on controlling the throne. Then he sees ILIA a beloved princess, playing wistfully near her brothers. Amulius speaks of her beauty and how unfortunate no one will see it.

    THE ORDINARY WORLD: Ilia delightfully receives an ancestral robe from her father. She speaks of her deceased mother and the joy she feels for caring for her 3 young brothers. King NUMITOR becomes aware of his younger brother’s jealousy. Amulius has coveted his brother’s throne for years, and now he has the means and the words from the gods to strike.

    CALL TO ADVENTURE: Numitor shares his plans to whisk Ilia away in a caravan led by her brother, Aegestus, to preserve the family bloodline.

    REFUSAL OF THE CALL: Ilia demands to stay, but her pleas fall on deaf ears.

    MEETING WITH THE MENTOR: As she approaches the caravan, Aegestus stresses the importance of her bloodline and plans for her return.

    CROSSING THE THRESHOLD: Ilia defiantly rushes onto the battlefield, hoping to change Numitor’s mind. Numitor denies her.

    BELLY OF THE WHALE: Amulius and his men swiftly overwhelm Numitor, his men, and the caravan, capturing Ilia as a hostage. To ensure Numitor leaves no descendants to overthrow him, Amulius kills Ilia’s brothers, castrates and exiles Numitor, and forces Ilia to become a Vestal Virgin. Amulius seats himself upon the throne.

    TESTS, ALLIES, ENEMIES: In the House of Vestal Virgins, Mother Vestal charges her to serve the gods in a life of celibacy. She is reunited with her cousin, ANTHO, Amulius’ daughter from his first marriage, an avowed vestal virgin. Ilia vows she will not stay long, and she searches for a way to escape. Anthos tries to make Ilia’s stay as comfortable as possible but soon also speaks of escape.

    Ilia sees TERATIUS, Numitor’s old and faithful servant, ordered to a life of servitude in the House of Vestal Virgins. He plans to help her escape, but her multiple escape attempts fail.

    APPROACH TO THE INNERMOST CAVE

    On her final attempt, Ilia encounters MARS, the God of War. He cloaks her freedom on Palantine Hill. Mars approaches, seduces, and makes love to her with his pack of wolves in tow. She is happy and thinks she is free.

    THE ORDEAL: Meanwhile, Amulius attempts to track her down. He tortures Teratius until he tells him where Ilia went. Amulius finds ilia, already ravished by Mars. He forcefully rapes her and leaves her for his attendants. They drag her back to the House to recover. She is badly hurt. During her recovery, Ilia learns that she has conceived fraternal twins from both Mars and Amulius.

    THE REWARD/SEIZING THE SWORD: Ilia gives birth to her sons, ROMULUS and REMUS.

    She escapes with Anthos. Anthos remains free, but Ilia is recaptured. Furious, Amulius sentences her to death by drowning. Cast into the waters, SILVANUS and his nephew rescue her, and she is given a new name, RHEA SILVIA.

    A servant wraps the twins in Ilia’s robe and sends them down the river where a she-wolf, sacred to Mars, suckles and feeds them. Shepherd, FAUSTILUS, finds them and raises them as his own.

    THE ROAD BACK: 20 Years Later – Ilia, now Rhea Silvia, believes Romulus and Remus are dead at Amulius’ hands. She has raised a captivating daughter, SABINA, and son with Silvanus. Still, her desire for revenge against Amulius has not waned.

    Romulus and Remus become healthy, strapping young men. Romulus is level-headed, while Remus is a rascal. They believe Faustulus is their father and their mother is dead.

    A love quadrangle ensues with Romulus, Remus, CELERUS, Amulius’ son, and Sabina. The 3 men fight over her hand in marriage. Amulius also learns about Sabina and desires to become her lover.

    RESURRECTION: As Faustulus lies on his death bed, he reveals he is not the boys’ father and reveals their true heritage. After learning of their ancestry, Romulus and Remus meet their grandfather and are told Ilia is their mother.

    Meanwhile, Amulius discovers Ilia is alive, finds her, and kills Silvanus in the heat of passion. Furious, Ilia seeks revenge.

    RETURN: Mother and sons are reunited and meet and plot to overthrow Amulius, but the love quadrangle complicates their plans. Celerus kills Sabina and Remus in a fit of jealousy. Romulus retaliates by killing Rems.

    Ilia and Romulus to wage war on Amulius. Romulus restores their grandfather, Numitor, to the throne. They also establish a new city close by – Rome.

    Romulus is unhappy as the leader of Rome and appoints his younger brother to the throne.

    CLOSING IMAGE: Ilia has finally found peace in Rome’s new home. She takes her seat next to her youngest son as a royal advisor.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 21, 2022 at 12:55 am in reply to: Day 7 Assignments

    Pat’s Fantastic Treatment

    What I learned doing this assignment is listening is more important than offering advice.

    TITLE: IlIA (Working Title)

    GENRE: HISTORICAL FICTION/FANTASY/ DRAMA

    LOGLINE: An innocent, young princess is raped by her power-mad uncle, sending her on a journey of love, war, and conquest—and the founding of the greatest empire the world has ever known.

    LEAD CHARACTERS:

    · Ilia – a beloved princess abused by her Uncle Amulius, escapes and later seeks revenge

    · Amulius – a power-hungry brother of ruler Numitor, dethrones and castrates his brother, confines Ilia, and murders Numitor’s sons.

    STRUCTURE:

    Opening: War seems imminent, and Amulius is impatient with Numitor, perceiving him weak and spineless. Meanwhile, Ilia is a beloved princess, who leads a joyful life, receives an ancestral robe from her father. Amelius dethrones and castrates Numitor and forces him into exile. He kills Numitor’s 3 sons and forces Ilia to become a vestal virgin to ensure Numitor’s children bear no descendants.

    Ilia is reunited with her cousin as a vestal virgin, who familiarizes her with life in the convent, citing her unhappiness. Ilia makes multiple attempts to escape but fails.

    Finally, Ilia escapes to Palantine Hill. She encounters Mars, the God of War, who falls in love with her and impregnates her. Shortly after that, Amulius captures Ilia, returns her to the castle, and rapes her, impregnating her a second time. She has conceived fraternal twins from different fathers.

    Ilia gives birth to her sons, Romulus and Remus, and escapes with her cousin. Her cousin remains free, but Ilia is captured and sentenced to death by drowning. Cast into the waters, Silvanus and his nephew rescue her, and she is given a new name, Rhea Silvia. Meanwhile, a servant wraps the twins in Ilia’s robe and sends them down the river where a wolf and a woodpecker, sacred to Mars, suckles and feeds them. Shepherd, Faustilius, finds them and raises them as his own.

    Romulus and Remus become healthy, strapping young men, believing Faustulus is their father. Romulus is level-headed, while Remus is a rascal. As the Shepherd lies on his death bed, he reveals he is not the boys’ father and reveals their true heritage. Meanwhile, Ilia has had a daughter, Sabina, and a son. A love quadrangle ensues with Romulus, Remus, Celeres, and Sabina. The 3 men fight over her hand in marriage. Amulius also learns about Sabina and desires to become her lover.

    After learning of their ancestry, Romulus and Remus meet their grandfather and are told Ilia is their mother. Meanwhile, Amulius again pursues Ilia, finds her, and kills Sylvano in the heat of passion. Furious, Ilia seeks revenge. Mother and sons meet and plot to overthrow Amulius.

    Romulus and Remus kill Amulius and restore their grandfather to the throne. They also establish a new city close by – Rome. But Celeres kills Sabina, jealous of Remus’s relationship with her. At the same time, Romulus is unhappy as the leader of Rome and appoints his younger brother to the throne.

    Closing Image: Ilia has finally found peace in Rome’s new home.

    BUSINESS DECISIONS:

    Audience: Adults 25+, R-Rated

    Budget: TBD

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 16, 2022 at 1:00 am in reply to: Day 6 Assignments

    Pat’s Synopsis for Producer Interview

    Title: IRA ALDRIDGE, THE BLACK SHAKESPEAREAN

    Genre: Biographical Drama

    Logline: A young boy travels to England to become a Shakespearean actor and must overcome racial bitterness to fulfill his dream.

    Synopsis:

    In 1822, at 15, New Yorker Ira Aldridge, a free man, dreams of becoming a Shakespearean actor. After overcoming physical violence and nearly becoming enslaved, his father tries to get him to abandon his “pipe dreams” and follow him into the ministry.

    But Ira, with ideas of his own, receives an opportunity to sail to England, where he acts as a valet to a famous white Shakespearean actor who takes him under his wing. When the actor falls ill, he encourages Ira to fill him for him.

    The reviews of Ira’s performance are mixed, and he begins to battle with a publisher, Gilbert Abbott à Beckett, who despises the idea of a black man as a Shakespearean actor. Nonetheless, Ira is non-plussed and marries a white woman, Margaret Gill, who becomes his life partner and most essential advocate.

    Beckett steps up the pressure by engaging theater owners to block/limit Ira’s performances in and around England. He also encourages other publishers and performers to mock him. Ira will not be defeated and develops a strategy to develop a following on the outskirts of England and, later in other countries.

    However, the external forces are not the only problems in Ira’s life. The internal ones create obstacles as well. His infidelity disrupts his marriage when he brings home a son from an affair. After some time, his wife takes ill, and Ira marries his au’ pair and has three more children.

    Ira’s dogged pursuit of career success left his children vulnerable, especially his first-born son. Ira miscalculates his presence as a father. His son, feeling emotionally crippled, is sentenced to prison as Ira s to accepts invitations to travel throughout Europe and is lauded by Kings.

    Ultimately, Ira’s adversary succumbs to his success when Ira receives recognition from Queen Victoria.

    Ira plans to return to the US to see his family but dies before making the trip.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 13, 2022 at 12:55 am in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

    FEEDBACK – THE GREAT STEAMBOAT RACE BETWEEN THE NATCHEZ AND THE ROBERT E. LEE

    ============

    <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Frances, a summary of feedback is below. I read the first 15 pages (will read the rest later), but feel like you could easily truncate the sample at the end of page 12 where Knapp predicts his future and still have a solid writing sample. I will messenger detailed notes <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>separately. Nice job!!! I enjoyed reading your excerpt.

    A. SET-UP: Is the set up absolutely clear and does it make it easy to move into the 10 pages?

    The setup should focus more on the story providing an indication of the role of the characters in the story, the flow of the story and where the sample begins. I recommend eliminating what is fact vs fiction as well as the “how” of how you discovered the facts as well as any behind the scenes data gathering.

    B. CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA Did the 10 pages deliver on the genre?

    PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and inter-personal high stakes for their characters.

    The purpose of the story is clear as is the emotional high stakes of the captains winning and losing as reflected in the behaviors of the townspeople, news bureaus, crewmen, passengers, etc. Also, the fact that Leather doesn’t want people to know it’s a race tells me something about his state of mind – he’s worried about losing.

    Besides the emotional stakes of winning a race and ego, I wonder if there are other stakes in terms of career/prosperity/relationships, etc.

    CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events and progression.

    Would be helpful to understand what makes the 2 captains empathetic. I did appreciate the conflict ahead with the 2 captains having drastically different strategies for winning. Nice set. Up.

    HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes come from within the characters more than from external pressures.

    It appears the stakes for the two captains is ego, but as I stated above, I wonder if there are other stakes to be addressed.

    EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events.

    I am definitely intrigued by the story because of the narration and the subtle doomsday narrative that Knapp provides leading into the story.

    CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they run into.

    I don’t believe we are the point in the story where we see the direct challenges to the captains’ core values (except those reflected in differing strategies). Rather, this appears to be normal life before the big event that will send the captains onto their life-changing journeys. If that’s the case, I think it’s fine because the anticipation and the excitement is telling me, these challenging, emotionally-charged situations are on their way.

    REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality.

    This is an historic event and is clearly grounded in reality.

    C. QUALITY OF WRITING Was the writing highly compelling?

    The writing is visual, crisp and engaging. I feel as though I am at the dock, on the train, etc. seeing the action play out. It is easy to read and moves at a nice clip. Very well written!

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 11, 2022 at 12:38 am in reply to: Day 5 Assignments

    Pat’s Biographical Drama Writing Sample Plan

    What I learned doing this assignment is there’s always room for improvement. I’ve read these pages over and over again in Final Draft, but taking out and placing it in word, allowed me to focus on the feel of the script and less on the format, thereby making it easier to identify improvements.

    GOOD LITTLE TROUBLE MAKERS SETUP:

    Martin Luther King, Jr. and James Bevel have come to Birmingham, AL to support local civil rights leader, Fred Shuttlesworth’s efforts to desegregate Birmingham. The leaders have developed a strategy with mixed success of filling the jails in order to bring white leaders to the negotiating table to end segregation despite Bull Conner’s violent opposition and weaning authority.

    The adults in Birmingham have given up so Civil Rights Leaders have decided to recruit children to join the non-violent desegregation movement. 16-year-old Bobbi and her peers have joined the movement. After 7 days of marches, Bobbi and thousands of other children finally land in jail (fulfilling their goal), but not before Bobbi is separated from her best friend, Carolyn, who is sexually assaulted. In jail, Bobbi meets a college student, Olivia, and the two launch an effort to dampen police abuse, but their actions have consequences.

    With so many children in jail, MLK negotiates with President John F. Kennedy and the White House to raise bail money for the over 4,000 jailed child and adult marchers, including Bobbi and her friends. As bail is being negotiated, Burke Marshall, Kennedy’s lead Civil Rights Negotiator is meeting with the local white businessmen to persuade them to end segregation.

    GOOD LITTLE TROUBLEMAKERS 10-PAGE EXERPT

    INT. JAIL – BOBBI’S CELL – DAY

    Bobbi lies on the floor atop a thin, undersized blanket as the other Girls chat with each other and Olivia.

    A MATRON steps aside, making room for Carolyn and Dillard. Dillard shoves Carolyn in while the Matron slams the door and walks away with Dillard.

    Bobbi runs to Carolyn, hugs her. Carolyn sobs as Bobbi notes Carolyn’s torn dress and tormented face.

    The other Girls slowly gather around.

    OLIVIA

    She can have my bunk.

    Bobbi guides Carolyn by the shoulders to the bunk.

    CAROLYN

    He… He…

    BOBBI

    Shh, I know. Rest.

    Bobbi guides her to lie down. Olivia lays her blanket over Carolyn. Other Girls follow suit until she is fully covered.

    BOBBI

    Why do they feel like it’s okay to steal our dignity?

    Bobbi and Olivia pace, stew at the injustice.

    OLIVIA

    Out there, it’s about non-violence. In here, it’s different.

    Olivia huddles with the girls. The chatter grows more heated. The Girls return to their bunks with determined looks.

    OLIVIA

    Bobbi, you’d better get ready for this. There’s consequences.

    BOBBI

    Consequences? What kind of consequences?

    OLIVIA

    Let’s say, you’re lucky if they lose you. If they don’t, it gets personal.

    Bobbi frowns, disturbed by Olivia’s warning.

    INT. JAIL BOYS’ CELL – DAY

    Chris and other BOYS stand at the front of a sardine-packed cell. They see more BOYS in the hallway, waiting to enter.

    GUARD

    Make room for more.

    CHRIS

    There’s no way.

    Chris shakes his head, “It’s impossible.”

    GUARD

    Get back.

    The GUARD opens the door, grabs a chain from the wall, swings it, hitting Chris and other Boys.

    The Boys flinch. Cry out as the metal rips their flesh.

    EXT. KELLY INGRAM PARK – DAY

    Bull mumbles as he peers across the park.

    BULL

    Damned kids runnin’ around all over town. Even their mommas and daddies have come out of the woodwork.

    He watches the fire department gear up hoses as a YOUNG GIRL approaches.

    YOUNG GIRL

    Take me to jail.

    BULL

    Not today. Now get outta here.

    She runs away as a REPORTER approaches him.

    REPORTER

    Why aren’t you making arrests?

    Bull stares at the Reporter, looks away. Looks back.

    BULL

    (chokes it out)

    Why should I arrest them? What have they done wrong?

    He spits, ridding his mouth of the foul words.

    A couple of Firemen spot Shuttlesworth walking down the church stairs to the basement. He holds a white flag.

    FIREMAN #3

    Let’s have a little fun with the Rev.

    The Reporter turns. Sees Firemen laughing as they unleash one-hundred pounds per square inch of water on Shuttlesworth.

    EXT. SIXTEENTH ST. BAPTIST CHURCH – DAY

    Shuttlesworth covers his face. He’s swept down the stairs and lands flat on his back. Catching his breath, he peers at the sun through water-drenched eyelids, sure it’s his time.

    SHUTTLESWORTH

    Lord, I’ll come if you want me to.

    He hears a siren approach. Sees emergency personnel standing over him. He moans while hoisted onto a gurney.

    EXT. KELLY INGRAM PARK – DAY

    The mortified Reporter questions Bull.

    REPORTER

    Did you see that? They injured Reverend Shuttlesworth.

    BULL

    I waited a week to see Shuttlesworth hit by a hose. Sorry I missed it.

    REPORTER

    But an ambulance took him away.

    BULL

    Too bad it’s not a hearse.

    The Reporter gasps. Scribbles notes.

    INT. JAIL – BOBBI’S CELL – NIGHT

    Olivia moves to the window as the girls chatter loudly.

    OLIVIA

    Hold up. You hear that?

    She points to a window at the top of the wall. The cell quiets down.

    Bobbi climbs to a top bunk. Looks out the window. Sees a large group of BOYS. Some sit, some lie on the ground. A large chain-link fence surrounds them.

    BOBBI

    What are y’all doing outside?

    ANTON (O.C.)

    Bobbi Jean, is that you?

    Anton emerges from the back.

    INTERCUT: BOBBI inside/ANTON outside.

    ANTON

    They told us to sleep outside. A lot of us too. Front, back, sides.

    BOBBI

    With no covers? No mattress?

    ANTON

    And here for hours with no food.

    BOBBI

    It’s only greasy, unseasoned grits.

    ANTON

    Sounds good to me.

    Anton looks up. Holds out his hands.

    ANTON

    Here it comes.

    The skies give way to a SUDDEN DOWNPOUR.

    BOBBI

    We’re gonna sing to you. Right, girls?

    Unanimous approval from the girls.

    BOBBI

    We’re gonna sing all night. You hear me, Cousin?

    ANTON

    I hear you, Cousin.

    BOYS

    We hear you too, Cousin.

    BOBBI

    (giggles)

    I’m gonna get down now but don’t worry, you’ll hear us.

    She initiates a spiritual Call-Response song. The girls sing the call, and the boys sing the response.

    Olivia dashes to the cell door and shouts through the bars.

    OLIVIA

    Hey, ya’ll. There’s boys outside. Get close to your windows and sing. Don’t stop until the sun comes up.

    The cell block joins in. The choruses grow louder.

    EXT. JAIL – NIGHT – LATER

    The boys’ voices grow softer. Most fall asleep.

    INT. JAIL – BOBBI’S CELL – NIGHT

    The singing, now softer, continues from the Girls.

    Bobbi and Olivia lie on the floor in front of Carolyn.

    Bobbi hears keys jingle. Sees the Matron palm a wad of money. She lets Officer Dillard in.

    He peers into each bunk. Jumps, startled.

    BOBBI

    Get out of here!

    Bobbi leaps to her feet to protect Carolyn.

    OFFICER DILLARD

    We got some unfinished business.

    OLIVIA

    Leave, now!

    Olivia joins Bobbi to form a barrier between Dillard and Carolyn.

    The other girls awaken. Slow and silent, they creep until they surround Dillard’s back.

    OFFICER DILLARD

    (to Bobbi and Olivia)

    Get outta my way.

    He pushes Bobbi and Olivia aside. Grabs Carolyn. She screams and fights for her life.

    Bobbi wraps her arms around Carolyn’s waist. Tries to pull her out of his grasp.

    BOBBI

    Let go of her!

    He’s stronger than he looks and he wins the tug-o-war.

    CAROLYN

    Help! Help me!

    Bobbi leaps for her.

    Dillard drags Carolyn toward the door.

    Bobbi misses and face-plants on the floor.

    He turns and collides with Olivia who has wedged herself between the Girls and Dillard.

    Dillard sees the silhouette behind her.

    OFFICER DILLARD

    Oh, hell.

    INT. CHAMBER OF COMMERCE BUILDING – NIGHT

    Pizitz returns to the meeting. He is pale and jittery. He dabs sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief.

    Vann, Bailey and Marshall amp up the pressure on the businessmen.

    VANN

    School attendance is less than fifty percent. The district is losing money hand-over-fist.

    SHERIFF BAILEY

    Eight-hundred girl prisoners in the fairgrounds. Legion Field will turn into a military camp. We’ll shame both U of A Coach, Bear Bryant, and Joe Namath, a legend from this town.

    MARSHALL

    Negroes in camps would cause hundreds of thousands of protestors to flood the town, myself included.

    SHERIFF BAILEY

    State troopers swarming in with sawed-off shotguns and submachine guns? How would that help your business?

    VANN

    Most of you are merchants. You don’t sit behind desks in buildings. You’re vulnerable and so is your merchandise.

    PIZITZ

    No kidding. I just got an eyeful of worry about my merchandise.

    (scans the group)

    No one has asked us to do anything extraordinary. Let’s end this and agree to the movement’s terms.

    Sid Smyer stands.

    SMYER

    Sid Smyer, President of Birmingham Realty, and a former state legislator. Bud Pizitz is right. We lost half of our revenue with the Negro boycott. Now, the whites are staying away because of the protests.

    (beat)

    I’m a segregationist, but I’m not a damned fool.

    MERCHANTS

    Here, here.

    They clap in agreement.

    Marshall releases a long, overdue breath.

    INT. JAIL – BOBBI’S CELL – NIGHT

    Dillard sees girl soldiers’ silhouettes behind Olivia.

    OLIVIA

    (snaps fingers)

    Get him!

    The Girls surround him. Unleash a rapid torrent of flying fists and shoes, paired with a raucous concert of screaming and shouting.

    Overwhelmed, he shields his head, releases Carolyn and drops to his hands and knees.

    Carolyn runs to the bunk for safety.

    A sly smile crosses Bobbi’s face. She grabs a blanket, jumps on his back, WRAPS IT AROUND HIS NECK. SQUEEZES UNTIL HE COLLAPSES.

    Dillard, arms and legs splayed on the floor, gasps for air.

    INT. JAIL – HALLWAY – NIGHT

    The commotion awakens girls up and down the cell block. They crowd the bars. Rhythmic chants grow louder.

    GIRLS

    Get him, get him, get him!

    SEVERAL MATRONS and a MALE GUARD enter and swing batons. They retrieve their comrade. The Matron slams the door shut.

    OFFICER DILLARD

    Them girls are crazy!

    The Girls exchange high fives and howl with laughter.

    Loud cheers from other cells echo through the block.

    Bobbi runs to the bars. Sees the Matron and the Male Guard hold up Dillard with his shaky gait. She rattles the bars.

    BOBBI

    You’re protecting him? Lock him up!

    The Male Guard looks back. Cuts her a fiery glare.

    Carolyn sits on the bed. Laughs and cries at once.

    CAROLYN

    You… you are my forevuh sisters!

    Her smile casts a beam of sunshine.

    Bobbi’s smile does to. She sits next to Carolyn.

    CAROLYN

    Bobbi, promise me you won’t tell anyone.

    BOBBI

    But he has to be accountable for–

    CAROLYN

    –Promise me. Pinky swear?

    Bobbi nods, reluctantly. She and Carolyn wrap their pinkies.

    EXT. GASTON MOTEL – MOTOR COURT – DAY

    SUPER: “DAY 7 – Wednesday, May 8th”

    Another press conference with intense Media attention.

    KING

    Considering the ninety-degree heat, we have suspended today’s march.

    ABERNATHY

    Weather permitting, we will resume.

    The Media shouts questions to King and Abernathy.

    INT. JAIL – DAYROOM – DAY

    The sun floods the room with light. Girls, as old as college students and as young as elementary school, talk in groups.

    Bobbi startles at pots and pans clank and wobble, as if thrown on the floor of the adjacent kitchen.

    JAIL COOK (O.C.)

    We’ve been here since four A.M. We’ve run out of food and we still have mouths to feed.

    Bobbi hears someone shush the Jail Cook.

    JAIL COOK (O.C.)

    Don’t shush me. I quit.

    Bobbi sees nine-year-old, Angie, who sits alone on the floor with her board game.

    BOBBI

    Hi Angie, I’m Bobbi?

    ANGIE

    I saw you yesterday in the courtroom. Wanna play Chutes and Ladders?

    BOBBI

    Sure, but you’re a bit young for jail.

    Angie and Bobbi set up the game.

    ANGIE

    My parents let me talk to Minister Bevel. He said I wasn’t old enough. I told him if I was old enough to accept Christ, I could march.

    Bobbi nods and smiles, “respect.” They play as they talk.

    ANGIE

    Bobbi, did the five F.B.I. men question you in the tiny room?

    BOBBI

    F.B.I. men? No. What did they ask?

    ANGIE

    Lots of questions like…

    (mocks voice of men)

    “Did someone make you march?”

    BOBBI

    That’s crazy.

    ANGIE

    Sure is.

    (beat)

    Bobbi, what’s a Communist?

    BOBBI

    Are you kidding me?

    INT. JAIL CELL – NIGHT

    Bobbi, Carolyn, Olivia and the other Girls sleep soundly until they are awaken by the sound of Dillard returns with the Matron and the Male Guard.

    CAROLYN

    (pleads)

    Please don’t. He–

    MATRON

    –That’s a personal problem, Sweetie.

    Dillard singles out Bobbi and Olivia. Darts off.

    The Matron handcuffs them and brings them forward.

    BOBBI

    What are you doing?

    OLIVIA

    We’ve done nothing wrong.

    The two girls shake heads at the shameful retaliation.

    CAROLYN

    Where are you taking them?

    Carolyn runs after them. Through the bars, she sees the Matron hand them off to the Male Guard.

    INT. JAIL – CORRIDORS – NIGHT

    Bobbi and Olivia walk slowly through the dark corridors. They reach the Men’s Cell Block. Hear cat-calls. Further away, they hear a woman’s cries.

    WOMAN

    Stop. Don’t do this to me!

    Bobbi and Olivia freeze.

    The Male Guard nudges them forward.

    Bobbi’s face screams fear and apprehension. Tears roll down her cheeks. Olivia is stoic.

    The Male Guard stops at a cell with a black, adult inmate who sits in the shadows.

    MALE GUARD

    Mikey, I brought you a lil’ somethin’.

    MIKEY (20’s), shirtless and built like a jock, peers through the bars. Sees Bobbi and Olivia. Grins.

    MIKEY

    Which one a dem for me?

    MALE GUARD

    Which one you want?

    Mikey takes his time prospecting. Sees Bobbi tremble. Olivia looks like she’ll kick his butt.

    MIKEY

    That one, but I could use both.

    He chooses Bobbi.

    MALE GUARD

    Don’t be greedy. This one’s goin’ down the hall.

    He unlocks the door. Shoves Bobbi inside. She stumbles and falls on the ground.

    MALE GUARD

    Teach you not to interfere in men’s business.

    The Male Guard slams the door shut. Continues down the hall with Olivia.

    Bobbi cowers beneath Mikey, who towers over her, frowning. He extends his hand.

    Bobbi shivers at the thought of what this muscle-ripped man might do.

    INT. GASTON MOTEL – NIGHT

    Marshall paces. King, Abernathy, and Young look anxious.

    MARSHALL

    Good news. The Senior Citizens Committee agreed to end segregation with two conditions.

    (beat)

    First, they feel the demand to release protesters is out of their jurisdiction.

    King is disappointed, but nods acceptance.

    MARSHALL

    Second, they want you to suspend the marches.

    KING

    And give away our bargaining chip? Fred will never agree to this. However, the possibility of leaving thousands of children in jail–

    MARSHALL

    –It’s just a formality.

    King, Abernathy and Young search each others faces for answers. After a long silence, Young chimes in.

    YOUNG

    Martin, there’s the baby, and then there’s the bathwater.

    ABERNATHY

    What about the bail money?

    MARSHALL

    They’re working on it

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 10, 2022 at 1:32 am in reply to: Day 4 Assignments

    Pat’s Key Business Decisions

    What I learned doing this assignment is that it is important to have a guide when identifying the Business Decisions for your project. The topics selected in this guide provide good insight into what the story is about and whether or not it might meet a producer’s needs.

    I also learned that a Biographical Drama not only applies to the lead character(s), but it also applies to events. I find this genre more encompassing of the work I am pursuing than using “Historical Fiction.”

    1. Give us the decisions that are in your current High Budget script:

    – Genre: Biographical Drama

    – Title: Good Little Trouble Makers

    – Concept: 1n 1963, 16-year-old Bobbi and her high-school peers battle one of the most notorious segregationists in the country to gain social equality.

    – Audience: Young Adult females; Blacks of all ages

    – Budget: $20 M

    – Lead Characters:

    – Bobbi Clark: A 16-year old-girl who is not afraid to challenge authority and organize her peers to bring about change, but denies herself the opportunity to fulfill personal opportunities.

    – Bull Connor: An older man and Birmingham Public Safety Officer, cozy with the KKK, who vows to maintain segregation at any costs.

    – Journey / Character Arc:

    – Bobbi: Hides her academic talent; is afraid to respond to college offers for early admission placing family needs over her own; receives wisdom in jail; pursues the opportunities; attends college early

    – Bull: Bullies Bobbi; threatens children with dogs and hoses; loses control of his subordinates; is forced to step aside; is terminated and tearfully leaves office

    – Opening / Ending: The Opening and Ending are bookmarks in the present day.

    – Opening: Amidst protests and counter protests between Black Lives Matter (BLM) and White Lives Matter supporters, Bobbi encounters an overly anxious National Guardsman who will not accept she is the University President. Bobbi comes on strong and the situation escalates into her being labeled as a BLM activist attempting to gain access to the campus for terrorist purposes. Additional Guardsmen arrive and manhandle her until she is identified by a campus policeman.

    The event causes her to recall her days as a teenage activist in 1963 as she works on her memoir.

    – Ending: Bobbi waves goodbye to her parents as she returns to college after experiencing the violence and terrorism of the events of 1963. Back to present day, she completes her memoir and; leads college students in a non-violent protest in support of BLM who speak out against the killings of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, and others.

    2. Tell us which of those decisions you could improve to make your script more marketable.

    I believe the genre is the biggest improvement I can make to my script. Instead of referring to it as Historical Fiction, Biographical Drama is more common and relatable.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    February 1, 2022 at 7:27 am in reply to: Day 3 Assignments

    Subject line: Pat’s Specialty – Historical Fiction

    What I learned by doing this assignment is this is an excellent way to prepare for your writing because it allows you to evaluate successful films objectively. By focusing on the main points of each story, I can see their similarities and differences and how my story will fit into this framework. Furthermore, it is allowing me to see how my story can take shape in a more thoughtful, organized manner.

    Tell us your specialty and start the process of mastery today.

    1. Tell us your specialty – Historical Fiction, particularly Man vs (Man, Self, Nature, Society, Fate, Unknown/Supernatural, or Technology). I am changing my original plan for “the script I want to write” in order to get the most of this class and to make my next project consistent with my previous project.

    2. Two Movies Selected – “Amadeus” and “The Prestige.” Both stories are based on real people and real events, but the story is dramatized for effect. Both are similar to the story I plan to write.

    3. & 4. Conventions and Outlines:

    Movie #1:

    Genre: Biography, Drama, Music

    Title: Amadeus

    How it delivered on the genre conventions: Amadeus delivers in an unconventional way of a Mozart reaching to the height of his success without intention, while Salieri sets his sights on him and plans to destroy him.

    Outline of both movies, highlighting the parts that fulfill the genre:

    Movie #2:

    Genre: Biography, Drama, Sci-Fi, Thriller

    Titles: The Prestige

    How it delivered on the genre conventions: The Prestige delivers on the classic convention of Borden intentionally reaching for the height of his success, while Angier sets his sights on him and plans to destroy him.


    Outline of Amadeus and The Prestige

    Situation: The Protagonist is minding his own business, going through life and achieving goals catching the unwanted attention of the Antagonist. The Protagonist ‘s and Antagonist’s goals are not necessarily opposing yet.

    Amadeus: In the winter of 1823, Antonio Salieri survives in attempted suicide and is committed to a psychiatric hospital during which his servants overhear him confess to murdering Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Father Vogler asks Salieri’s to clarify his confession. Salieri conveys that as a boy he wanted to be a composer, but his father didn’t approve. He prays to God that if He makes Salieri a famous composer, he will, be faithful. Soon after, his father dies, which Salieri believes that God has accepted his vow. Salieri has become court composer to an Emperor in Vienna. Years later, at a reception in honor of Mozart’s patron, he meets Mozart.

    The Prestige: In London, two friends, Robert Angier and Alfred Borden, work for pittance as magician sunder the mentorship of John Cutter, an engineer who designs stage magic.

    Inciting Incident & Reaction:

    Amadeus: Salieri is shocked to discover that although Mozart is unusually gifted, he is also odd and silly. Salieri is confused unable to understand how the buffoon, Mozart can be so gifted and jealously concludes that God is using Mozart’s talent to mock his own mediocrity.

    In turn, Salieri renounces God and vows to take revenge on Him by destroying Mozart.

    The Prestige: Angier and Borden discuss various knots to use on Angier’s wife, Julia, as she plays a stunt woman dunked into a water tank during a magic trick. Julia convinces Borden to use the knot he suggested because she is confident, she can escape regardless of the knot. The next time the trick is performed Julia cannot escape and drowns. Distraught, Angier accuses Borden of using the riskier knot, and blames him for her death. When Angier questions Borden about which knot he used, Borden says he cannot remember.

    In turn, the two become bitter enemies and rivals as Angier resents the life that Borden has with his wife and family as well as his success as an illusionist.

    Flaws:

    Amadeus: Mozart is an unassuming alcoholic. Salieri is blinded by arrogance and jealousy.

    The Prestige: Borden is obsessed with keeping secrets. Angier is obsessed with one-upping Borden as a magician and avenging his wife’s death.

    The Battles:

    The Protagonist is lauded by his admirers. The Protagonist may/may not fight back depending on his level of acuity, but some form of success, conscious or not, takes place.

    The Antagonist considers the protagonist unworthy of such praise (personal habits, axe to grind, or other perception) and he must do something to compete with/destroy the Protagonist. The Antagonist pursues a path of deception/destruction in order to gain a competitive advantage over the Protagonist in order to validate his perceptions of the Protagonist being unworthy, or to propel the Protagonist toward failure.

    The Protagonist’s flaw further heightens the Antagonist’s flaw.

    Amadeus: Mozart’s health, marriage, and reputation deteriorates due to his alcoholic tendencies, but his success continues. Salieri hires a spy who poses as Mozart’s maid and discovers that Mozart is working on an opera based on the play “The Marriage of Figaro” forbidden by the emperor. When Mozart is summoned explain, he clumsily persuades the emperor to allow “Figaro” to debut, despite Salieri’s and the advisers’ attempts at sabotage. Mozart writes “Don Giovanni“ while grieving the death of his father. Salieri recognizes Mozart has recreated his father in the opera as a haunting, accusatory commander and uses Mozart’s pain toward evil. Salieri convinces Mozart, who is in a drunken, sickly haze, that his father as risen and has commissioned a Requiem. He then surmises that once it is finished, he will kill Mozart and debut it Mozart’s funeral and take credit for the work, propelling him into fame.

    Meanwhile, Mozart’s friend invites him to write an opera for his theatre. Mozart obliges despite his wife Constanze’s insistence that he finish the Requiem. When Mozart ignores his wife’s request, she leaves with their young son.

    The Prestige: Angier and Borden launch their own magic careers, with Angier working with Cutter, and Borden with the mysterious Fallon. Each man, sabotages the other’s tricks – Angier causing injury to Borden and Borden causing injury to an audience member. Borden develops a trick, the Transported Man, in which he appears to travel instantly between two wardrobes placed on opposite ends of the stage. In turn, Angier hires a double to perform his own version of the trick and greater success, but is still not satisfied. The double threatens to blackmail Angier and Cutter after being approached by Borden.

    Angier has his assistant, Olivia, spy on Borden to learn how he performs the Transported Man. However, Olivia falls in love with Borden and who plays the middle against both ends. Confronted by Angier, Olivia gives him a copy of Borden’s encoded diary that is missing the keyword. Angier decodes the keyword as “TESLA”, by threatening to kill Fallon.

    Angier pursues the false lead planted by Borden in the diary and convinces Tesla to make for him, a copy of the magic transport machine. Angier turns in what appears to be the most successful act of all time using the magic machine.

    Borden’s wife, Sarah, is driven to suicide by his secrecy and affair with Olivia. Later Borden loses Olivia after he confesses, he never loved Sarah.

    Borden hears of Angier’s new, successful act and seeks to discover the trick. Recalling the water tank trick, Borden goes beneath the stage and sees Angier drowning in the tank and is arrested and tried for Angier’s murder.

    In prison, Borden is visited by the real Angier who has taken custody of Borden’s and Sarah’s daughter.

    When Cutter realizes that Angier is still alive, he is disgusted that Angier allowed Borden to be sentenced to death. He convinces Angier to and helps dispose of the magic machine. Borden is hanged for Angier’s murder.

    But is Borden really Borden and is Angier really Angier?

    The War:

    Despite the Antagonist’s attempts to destroy the Protagonist, the Protagonist or Antagonist continues to rise. Ultimately, the Antagonist is forced to recognize the Protagonist’s talents and has failed to achieve his goal.

    Amadeus: Mozart’s next opera, “The Magic Flute”, is a great success, but the overworked Mozart collapses during one performance. Salieri takes him home and persuades him to continue the Requiem, offering to take the bedridden Mozart’s dictation. The next morning, Mozart thanks Salieri for his friendship, and Salieri admits that Mozart is the greatest composer he knows.

    Constanze returns and demands that Salieri leave immediately. In her guilt, she locks the unfinished Requiem, keeping it away from Salieri.

    The Prestige: Angier believes Borden has been hung. When he is shot by Borden, both men share how they deceived the other and Angier is forced to concede Borden is the ultimate victor.

    The Price of War:

    The Antagonist’s maneuvering has taken a toll and he pays dearly for his maneuvering. Similarly, the Protagonist may pay an equal or lesser cost for battle and his costs are also revealed.

    Amadeus: Mozart dies from exhaustion. Mozart is taken out of the city and unceremoniously buried in a mass grave during a rainstorm.

    Salieri, who surmises that God took His beloved Mozart rather than allow Salieri take credit for his work. Salieri, a broken man, has nothing to show for his efforts. He attempts to salvage his soul by absolving the hospital’s patients of their own inadequacies as he passes by. He imagines Mozart has the last laugh.

    The Prestige: Borden has lost his twin brother, wife, girlfriend and his daughter, but regains his daughter with Cutter’s help.

    Angier loses everything — his “magic machine,” the family life he planned to rebuild with Borden’s daughter, and his own life.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    January 31, 2022 at 1:10 am in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

    Pat’s LinkedIn Profile is Amazing!

    What I learned by doing this assignment is by using your account with greater specificity will likely yield better results.

    Improvements made:

    – Focused on screenwriting

    – Merged old account with new

    – Currently working on endorsements, including exchanging endorsements as old endorsements dropped during the merger.

    – Monitoring the account and replying to connects.

    Improvements in the next 30 days:

    – Continue swapping endorsements.

    – Add more producer connections but with a genre specific focus.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    January 26, 2022 at 2:13 am in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

    Pat’s Projects and Insights

    Go to the forums and sign the Group Confidentiality Agreement – Completed

    Introduce yourself to the group while you are there – Completed

    Tell us the two projects you’re bringing into this class and give us a budget range for each; each project must be:

    a. I would like to create: “HIDDEN TREASURES” – A psychological thriller in the outline phase: Anticipated budget of $1-10M in this contained movie.

    Parents of a toddler, ecstatic over their newborn, discover distinct and conflicting “talents” in their two children that cause the family dynamic to deteriorate. In order to regain a sense of normalcy, they are forced to make life-changing decisions about the family’s future.

    b. A finished script: “GOOD LITTLE TROUBLEMAKERS” – A historical fiction piece with an estimated budget of $20M dollars. This screenplay has received 6 accolades in 2021.

    16-year-old Bobbi and her peers aided by Dr. Martin Luther King and other civil rights leaders battle a notorious segregationist, Bull Connor, to desegregate Birmingham, AL and inspire president John F. Kennedy to initiate the US Civil Rights bill of 1963.

    Opening Teleconference insights:

    1. You are the most competent person in the room.

    2. Paid assignments are about the other person’s vision (e.g., producer’s/director’s vision), not yours.

    3. Building a network now pays dividends later.

    4. Listen carefully and asks questions to develop a clear understanding of the vision. Feedback, to the person that owns the vision, your understanding of what they have conveyed.

    5. Be sure to outline the steps for which you are being hired IN WRITING. Also include terms of Credits *e.g., if 1<sup>st</sup> draft delivered). Don’t be greedy or approach the negotiations with negative thoughts.

    6. Write the screenplay in a tone similar to your writing sample. Communicate with the hiring creative frequently and be sure to get approvals along the way.

    7. In order to get the movie made, you may need to deviate, within reason from the original agreement. E.g, do a few free drafts to fine tune the script.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    January 25, 2022 at 12:30 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself To the Group

    Hi everyone,

    Looking forward to the class and working with/meeting you, especially if you live in the L.A. area.

    I’ve written 5 scripts and I am working on the 6th one. This is my 5th Screenwriting U class. The other 5 were ProSeries, BingeWorthy, Scene Mastery, and 30-Day Screenplay. I wrote a script during ProSeries. With Hal and Cheryl’s guidance, and with the insightful, constructive feedback from my classmates and profressional readers, received 6 accolades last year after submitting to various contests.

    I hope to learn new techniques that will aide me in getting paid assignments and help me get my script produced.

    Something unique about me is that in college, I interviewed for a full-time position. I interviewd with a technical lead and others. Via a misunderstanding about desired salary, the technical lead recommend I not get the job because my request was above the pay scale. Not only did I get the job, but the lead and I married 2 years later. 😂

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    January 25, 2022 at 12:08 am in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    Patricia Shelby

    I agree to the terms of this release form below.

    As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

    This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    April 6, 2021 at 9:39 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 8 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is incorporating adds clarity to the message. Flagging Antagonism helps develop point/counterpoint, adding tension to the play.

    Ira Aldridge Beat Sheet w/ Theme & Antagonist

    THEME: Overcoming adversity, especially racism, on the road to success

    Act 1:

    Opening:

    Int. African Free School – Day

    Ira receives high scores in declamation. A teacher asks if he’d ever considered acting.

    Theme: Ira’s Declamation, which addresses the pursuit of dreams as an African American but also incorporates a quote from Shakespeare “The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.”

    Int. African Grove Theater – Day

    Ira watches rehearsals and mimics the actors.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    He watches play and falls in love with theater.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Ira share his excitement with his sick mother. She loves his enthusiasm and encourages him to act out parts. She advises him to follow his heart.

    Ira’s father interrupts and disapproves and makes Ira come with him to sell straw.

    Ext. NY Streets – Day

    Daniel discourages Ira from spending time in the theater and speaks of his need to follow in his footsteps lecturing him on his missionary obligation to save blacks.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    At 10, Ira’s mother dies – Ira runs home to tell his mother, but the somber expression on his father’s face says it all.

    Int. Church Cemetery – Day

    Ira is heartbroken…

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    … but his desire to become an actor continues.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Night

    Ira and his brother sneak out of the house.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    Ira and his brother perform to rousing applause.

    Int. African Free School – Day

    Ira learns he has been quickly declared an African Roscius.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Daniel remarries, and the tension heats up in the Aldridge household. Ira tells his brother he can’t stay.

    Int. African Free School – Day

    At 15, Ira graduates.

    Ext. Port of NY – Day

    Ira leaves home to work on a ship headed to NC. A slave trader offers to buy him. The captain , aware Ira is a free man and having promised Ira safe passage, turns down the offer. Ira overhears it, and having seen the indecency of slave treatment, becomes frightened.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Ira returns home deciding seafaring is not the life for him. Daniel begins insisting he prepare for theology school.

    Int. Church – Day

    Daniel preaches, showing off is strong oratory skills. Ira sits behind him in the pulpit.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    Daniel and his brother perform in “Romeo and Juliette” to thunderous applause.

    Ext. NY Streets – Night

    Antagonist: One day Ira his brother, and other black actors, are beaten by a white gang who resent blacks performing Shakespeare or other plays written by whites. His mentor, Brown, encourages him to fight back and file a law suit against his attackers.

    Int. Courthouse – Day

    Ira files a law suit against his attackers.

    Ext. African Grove Theater – Night

    The theater is burned down and Brown says he’s leaving the city.

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Day

    Ira accompanies a friend who delivers costumes to a famous white actor.

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Night

    Henry. Ira watches Henry perform in the wings. Mimics him. Congratulates him but Henry takes little notice. Ira’s friend is showing signs of illness.

    Ext. NY Streets – Day

    Ira waits for his friend, but he doesn’t show. Another mutual friend informs him that his friend died of yellow fever.

    Inciting Incident:

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Day

    After Ira’s friend dies of yellow fever, Ira convinces Henry to let him take on the role of valet, and makes himself indispensable by also running errands for him. Henry learns of Ira’s passions. Ira shows off is skills. Henry suggests Ira join him on his return to London and how they might be able to pull it off. When Ira shares his previous experience on ship, Henry explains the English abandoned the slave trade 17 years earlier. The proposition is very attractive to Ira.

    Theme: Henry Uses a Shakespearean quote , “What is past is prologue” – You have a decision to make.

    Ext. Church – Day

    A church member fawns over Daniel’s sermon as the family stands next to him. When Daniel tells her when Ira graduates theology school and tells her he’s enrolled Ira, this is news to Ira.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Ira, Daniel and Ira’s stepmother argue over Ira’s plans. Daniel objects to the notion of Ira acting as a servant to Henry. Ira sees it as a road to becoming proficient in acting to build a network.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira agrees to attend.

    Int. College – Day

    Ira sees a performing arts paper that says Henry is returning to NY to perform. Ira informs the administration that he is leaving school for other pursuits.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Night

    Ira stands up to Daniel and tells him he’s leaving to pursue acting in London. His father tells him if he leaves, he cannot return. Ira is crushed by the ultimatum.

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Night

    Ira arrives too late to catch Henry’s performance. When he runs to the dressing room, it is empty. Ira learns Henry is returning to England the next day. Ira just misses him as he departs.

    Ext. NY Streets – Day

    Ira sleeps on the streets.

    PLACEHOLDER: Danger is present.

    Ext. Port of NY – Day

    PLACE HOLDER: Ira faces obstacles before he can locate Henry.

    Act 1 Turning Point:

    Int. Ship – Day

    Ira voyages with Henry to London.

    Act 2:

    New plan:

    Int. Henry’s Home – Day

    Ira is excited about his new opportunities in England.

    Int. English Theater – Day

    He builds a network while tending to Henry and watching his mentor in the wings.

    Int. English Theater – Night

    Ira effectively operates as an understudy.

    Plan in action:

    Int. Henry’s Home – Day

    Henry is impressed by Ira’s recitations of his performance. Henry coaches him.

    Int. English Theater – Night

    Henry falls ill, he recommends Ira fill in. Ira has a successful, passionate performance. Most of the audience receives Ira’s performance with enthusiasm. Gilbert watches in the audience.

    Ext. London Streets – Day

    Antagonists: Ira picks up a paper and reads a scathing review from Gilbert. Gilbert who uses race as weapon against Ira. He picks up another paper and another and sees multiple negative reviews.

    Int. Hospital – Day

    Ira visits Henry and shares the discouraging news. Henry encourages him to ignore the critics and they discuss the dynamics.

    Theme: Henry’s advice is from Othello: “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy:
    It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.”

    Ext. Hospital – Day

    Ira runs into Margaret, an Englishwoman, who recognizes him and expresses her disagreement with Gilbert and others. She is as incensed by Gilbert’s lies as Ira is.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira and Margaret’s courtship.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira marries Margaret.

    PLACEHOLDER: Henry’s recovery and return.

    Int. Royal Coburg Theatre – Day

    Ira strikes a deal with a Theater owner/Manager.

    Int. Royal Coburg Theater – Day

    Ira becomes the first African-American actor to establish an acting career in a foreign country, starting with a 7-week run at the Royal Coburg Theatre in London in 1825, (his second job).

    Ext. London Streets – Day

    Ira speaks publicly as an abolitionist.

    Midpoint Turning Point:

    Int. Restaurant – Day

    Colonists still using slave labor conspire with publishers to pressure theater owners/managers to end their relationship with Ira or to refuse to hire him. Ira has difficulty finding work.

    Theme: “Let me embrace thee, sour adversity, for wise men say it is the wisest course.”

    Int. Theater – Day

    Ira attends a performance by a popular, traveling minstrel who mocks him in black face and “re-enacts” his performances as a bumbling, illiterate fool. Ira feels humiliated.

    Act 3:

    Rethink everything:

    Int. Ira’s Home – Day

    Other critics decry Gilbert’s taunts. Ira and Margaret see an opportunity to spin his background to further influence his reviews. They also discuss how he will respond to the traveling minstrel.

    New plan:

    Int. London Theater – Night

    Ira fights back by creating a show in which he parodies the parody in white-face. He also performs various musical acts. His performances are well received.

    Int. Theater – Day – Series of Performances

    Ira turns to playing in provincial towns where audiences love him.

    Int. Hotel – Day

    Ira and Margaret – read the critics reviews in which he his lauded for his work.

    Int. Gilbert’s Office – Day

    Antagonist: Gilbert is angry Ira is receiving warm audience receptions and positive reviews. He regurgitates his old reviews.

    Int. Hotel – Day

    Ira and Margaret chide Gilbert as being desperate. They read critiques of Gilbert from his competition who suggest he change his ways.

    Int. Royal Convent Garden

    Super: 1833

    Ira performs the title Role in “Othello,” filling in for Edmund Kean, Britain’s most famous Shakespearean actor. Ira becomes the first black from any country to play a title role in a London theater. The audience loves it. But Gilbert is there, despising Ira’s performance.

    Ira’s Home – Day

    Antagonist: Ira and Margaret read Gilbert’s critique, recognizing he has ratcheted up the pressure by citing how he was sickened at seeing Gilbert “paw” his white leading lady.

    Theme: Ira quotes from Othello regarding racism, Reputation, reputation, reputation! O, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial.

    Fortunately, the buzz created in the provincial press, grabs the attention of the world stage. Still unable to book major London theaters, Ira decides to perform internationally.

    Theme: “Wise men ne’er sit and wail their loss but cheerily seek how to redress their harms.”

    Turning Point – Major shift:

    Int. International Theaters – Series of Performances – Night

    Ira then turns to the international stage where his performances are in high demand all over the world.

    He meets a famous artist in the Ukraine who paints portraits of him. In Paris, he shakes hands with Hans Christian Anderson who publicizes the fact.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira and Margaret stroll together where they recap and revel in the superlative accolades he receives, and of his numerous metals and awards from International Royalty, including the King up Prussia in 1848. 1852, Ira is the first actor knighted by the German Duke Bernhard of Saxe-Meiningen. They cannot be ignored.

    Act 4:

    Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira is honored by Queen Victoria, and booked in a major London theater.

    Antagonist: Gilbert finally writes a favorable review of Ira before dying.

    Theme: Ira quotes from Hamlet. “He was an man, take him for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again.” (TBD)

    Resolution:

    PLACEHOLDER: The US Civil War ends. Ira makes plans to return to the U.S. but on his European tour, he dies in Poland.

    Ira expresses a desire to be immortalized, but does not think it will happen

    Theme: Before dying, Ira reflects on is regrets of not spending more time with his children. He quotes Macbeth on death: “Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”

    Int. Coventry Theater, London – Day

    In 2017, the “Blue Plaque” is unveiled in his honor, posthumously.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 22, 2021 at 7:39 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 7 Assignment Here

    Pat’s High Speed Beat Sheet

    What I learned doing this assignment is that once you lay the ground work for the transformative scenes, it’s easier to fill in the gaps. I might have too many scenes in the Opening, but I can make adjustments later. This is likely the fastest outline I’ve ever written.

    Act 1:

    Opening:

    Int. African Free School – Day

    Ira receives high scores in declamation. A teacher asks if he’d ever considered acting.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Day

    Ira watches rehearsals and mimics the actors.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    He watches play and falls in love with theater.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Ira share his excitement with his sick mother. She loves his enthusiasm and encourages him to act out parts. She advises him to follow his heart.

    Ira’s father interrupts and disapproves and makes Ira come with him to sell straw.

    Ext. NY Streets – Day

    Daniel discourages Ira from spending time in the theater and speaks of his need to follow in his footsteps lecturing him on his missionary obligation to save blacks.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    At 10, Ira’s mother dies – Ira runs home to tell his mother, but the somber expression on his father’s face says it all.

    Int. Church Cemetery – Day

    Ira is heartbroken…

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    … but his desire to become an actor continues.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Night

    Ira and his brother sneak out of the house.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    Ira and his brother perform to rousing applause.

    Int. African Free School – Day

    Ira learns he has been quickly declared an African Roscius.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Daniel remarries, and the tension heats up in the Aldridge household. Ira tells his brother he can’t stay.

    Int. African Free School – Day

    At 15, Ira graduates.

    Ext. Port of NY – Day

    Ira leaves home to work on a ship headed to NC. A slave trader offers to buy him. The captain , aware Ira is a free man and having promised Ira safe passage, turns down the offer. Ira overhears it, and having seen the indecency of slave treatment, becomes frightened.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Ira returns home deciding seafaring is not the life for him. Daniel begins insisting he prepare for theology school.

    Int. Church – Day

    Daniel preaches, showing off is strong oratory skills. Ira sits behind him in the pulpit.

    Int. African Grove Theater – Night

    Daniel and his brother perform in “Romeo and Juliette” to thunderous applause.

    Ext. NY Streets – Night

    One day Ira his brother, and other black actors, are beaten by a white gang who resent blacks performing Shakespeare or other plays written by whites. His mentor, Brown, encourages him to fight back and file a law suit against his attackers.

    Int. Courthouse – Day

    Ira files a law suit.

    Ext. African Grove Theater – Night

    The theater is burned down and Brown says he’s leaving the city.

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Day

    Ira accompanies a friend who delivers costumes to a famous white actor.

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Night

    Henry. Ira watches Henry perform in the wings. Mimics him. Congratulates him but Henry takes little notice. Ira’s friend is showing signs of illness.

    Ext. NY Streets – Day

    Ira waits for his friend, but he doesn’t show. Another mutual friend informs him that his friend died of yellow fever.

    Inciting Incident:

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Day

    When Ira’s friend dies of yellow fever, Ira convinces Henry to let him take on the role of valet, and makes himself indispensable by also running errands for him. Henry learns of Ira’s passions. Ira shows off is skills.Henry suggests Ira join him on his return to London and how they might be able to pull it off. When Ira shares his previous experience on ship, Henry explains the English abandoned the slave trade 17 years earlier. The proposition is very attractive to Ira.

    Ext. Church – Day

    A church member fawns over Daniel’s sermon as the family stands next to him. When Daniel tells her when Ira graduates theology school and tells her he’s enrolled Ira, this is news to Ira.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Day

    Ira, Daniel and Ira’s stepmother argue over Ira’s plans. Daniel objects to the notion of Ira acting as a servant to Henry. Ira sees it as a road to becoming proficient in acting to build a network.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira agrees to attend.

    Int. College – Day

    Ira sees a performing arts paper that says Henry is returning to NY to perform. Ira informs the administration that he is leaving school for other pursuits.

    Int. Aldridge Home – Night

    Ira stands up to Daniel and tells him he’s leaving to pursue acting in London. His father tells him if he leaves, he cannot return. Ira is crushed by the ultimatum.

    Int. Chatham Garden Theater – Night

    Ira arrives too late to catch Henry’s performance. When he runs to the dressing room, it is empty. Ira learns Henry is returning to England the next day. Ira just misses him as he departs.

    Ext. NY Streets – Day

    Ira sleeps on the streets.

    PLACEHOLDER: Danger is present.

    Ext. Port of NY – Day

    PLACE HOLDER: Ira faces obstacles before he can locate Henry.

    Turning Point:

    Int. Ship – Day

    Ira voyages with Henry to London.

    Act 2:

    New plan:

    Int. Henry’s Home – Day

    Ira is excited about his new opportunities in England.

    Int. English Theater – Day

    He builds a network while tending to Henry and watching his mentor in the wings.

    Int. English Theater – Night

    Ira effectively operates as an understudy.

    Plan in action:

    Int. Henry’s Home – Day

    Henry is impressed by Ira’s recitations of his performance. Henry coaches him.

    Int. English Theater – Night

    Henry falls ill, he recommends Ira fill in. Ira has a successful, passionate performance. Most of the audience receives Ira’s performance with enthusiasm. Gilbert watches in the audience.

    Ext. London Streets – Day

    Ira picks up a paper and reads a scathing review from Gilbert. Gilbert who uses race as weapon against Ira. He picks up another paper and another and sees multiple negative reviews.

    Int. Hospital – Day

    Ira visits Henry and shares the discouraging news. Henry encourages him to ignore the critics and they discuss the dynamics.

    Ext. Hospital – Day

    Ira runs into Margaret, an Englishwoman, who recognizes him and expresses her disagreement with Gilbert and others. She is as incensed by Gilbert’s lies as Ira is.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira and Margaret’s courtship.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira marries Margaret.

    PLACEHOLDER: Henry’s recovery and return.

    Int. Royal Coburg Theatre – Day

    Ira strikes a deal with a Theater owner/Manager.

    Int. Royal Coburg Theater – Day

    Ira becomes the first African-American actor to establish an acting career in a foreign country, starting with a 7-week run at the Royal Coburg Theatre in London in 1825, (his second job).

    Ext. London Streets – Day

    Ira speaks publicly as an abolitionist.

    Midpoint Turning Point:

    Int. Restaurant – Day

    Colonists still using slave labor conspire with publishers to pressure theater owners/managers to end their relationship with Ira or to refuse to hire him. Ira has difficulty finding work.

    Int. Theater – Day

    Ira attends a performance by a popular, traveling minstrel who mocks him in black face and “re-enacts” his performances as a bumbling, illiterate fool. Ira feels humiliated.

    Act 3:

    Rethink everything:

    Int. Ira’s Home – Day

    Other critics decry Gilbert’s taunts. Ira and Margaret see an opportunity to spin his background to further influence his reviews. They also discuss how he will respond to the traveling minstrel.

    New plan:

    Int. London Theater – Night

    Ira fights back by creating a show in which he parodies the parody in white-face. He also performs various musical acts. His performances are well received.

    Int. Theater – Day – Series of Performances

    Ira turns to playing in provincial towns where audiences love him.

    Int. Hotel – Day

    Ira and Margaret – read the critics reviews in which he his lauded for his work.

    Int. Gilbert’s Office – Day

    Gilbert is angry Ira is receiving warm audience receptions and positive reviews. He regurgitates his old reviews.

    Int. Hotel – Day

    Ira and Margaret chide Gilbert as being desperate. They read critiques of Gilbert from his competition who suggest he change his ways.

    Int. Royal Convent Garden

    Super: 1833

    Ira performs the title Role in “Othello,” filling in for Edmund Kean, Britain’s most famous Shakespearean actor. Ira becomes the first black from any country to play a title role in a London theater. The audience loves it. But Gilbert is there, despising Ira’s performance.

    Ira’s Home – Day

    Ira and Margaret read Gilbert’s technique, recognizing he has ratcheted up the pressure by citing how he was sickened at seeing Gilbert “paw” his white leading lady.

    Fortunately, the buzz created in the provincial press, grabs the attention of the world stage. Still unable to book major London theaters, Ira decides to perform internationally.

    Turning Point – Major shift:

    Int. International Theaters – Series of Performances – Night

    Ira then turns to the international stage where his performances are in high demand all over the world.

    He meets a famous artist in the Ukraine who paints portraits of him. In Paris, he shakes hands with Hans Christian Anderson who publicizes the fact.

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira and Margaret stroll together where they recap and revel in the superlative accolades he receives, and of his numerous metals and awards from International Royalty, including the King up Prussia in 1848. 1852, Ira is the first actor knighted by the German Duke Bernhard of Saxe-Meiningen. They cannot be ignored.

    Act 4:

    Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

    PLACEHOLDER: Ira is honored by Queen Victoria, and booked in a major London theater. Gilbert finally writes a favorable review of Ira before dying.

    Resolution:

    PLACEHOLDER: The US Civil War ends. Ira makes plans to return to the U.S. but on his European tour, he dies in Poland.

    Int. Coventry Theater, London – Day

    In 2017, the “Blue Plaque” is unveiled in his honor, posthumously.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 22, 2021 at 4:13 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 6 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Transformational Events

    What I learned doing this assignment is that this is good way to focus on the hero’s transformation.

    Old Ways:

    • Plays in black theaters

    • Runs from his problems

    • Doesn’t trust the system to fight back

    • Attends theology school at his father’s insistence

    • Watches in the wings of white theaters

    New Ways:

    • Moves to London to chart his own path

    • Plays in white theaters

    • Learns the art of spin and uses the system to his advantage

    • Finds ways to fight back criticism and excel and uses those accolades to turn the opinion of other critics

    • Becomes the first critically acclaimed black Shakespearean actor

    Transformational Events & Dramatic Events within the 4-Act Structure. Transformational Events are italicized.

    Act 1:

    Opening:

    Ira receives high scores in declamation and develops a passion for acting. He watches plays, then begins acting in black theaters where he is quickly declared an African Roscius.

    At 10, Ira’s mother dies, but he continues his passion for acting. At 15, When his father remarries, Ira leaves home to work on a ship headed to NC. A slave trader offers to buy him. He overhears it, becomes frightened and he returns home, deciding seafaring is not the life for him.

    One day he, and other black actors, are beaten by a white gang who resent blacks performing Shakespeare or other plays written by whites. His mentor, Brown, encourages him to fight back and file a law suit against his attackers. He does. Additionally, the theater is burned down and relocates to Albany.

    Ira accompanies a friend who delivers costumes to a famous white actor, Henry. Ira watches Henry perform in the wings. When Ira’s friend dies of yellow fever, Ira convinces Henry to let him take on the role of valet, and makes himself indispensable by also running errands for him.

    Ira’s father has other plans for him – to follow his footsteps and enroll in a theological school. Ira agrees to attend.

    Inciting Incident:

    Henry suggests Ira join him in London. Ira drops out of college and voyages with

    Turning Point:

    Ira voyages with Henry to London, where the slave trade had been abandoned in 17 years earlier.

    Act 2:

    New plan: Build a network while tending to Henry and watching his mentor in the wings. Ira effectively operates as an understudy.

    Plan in action: When Henry falls ill, he recommends Ira fill in. Most of the audience receives Ira’s performance with enthusiasm. but the critics pan him, especially, Gilbert who uses race as weapon against Henry.

    Ira marries Margaret, an Englishwoman, who is as incensed by Gilbert’s lies as Ira is.

    Ira becomes the first African-American actor to establish an acting career in a foreign country, starting with a 7-week run at the Royal Coburg Theatre in London in 1825, (his second job). But other theater owners bow to the pressure of the critics and he as difficulty finding work.

    Ira’s mockery accelerates as a traveling minstrel performer mocks him in black face and “re-enacts” his performances as a bumbling, illiterate fool.

    Midpoint Turning Point: Other critics decry Gilbert’s taunts and Ira sees an opportunity to spin his background to further influence his reviews. Despite the warm reception from audiences, and other critics changing their opinions, Gilbert refuses to give.

    Act 3:

    Rethink everything:

    Ira develops a plan to fight his critics.

    New plan:

    Ira fights back by creating a performance in which he parodies the parody in white face where his performances are well received.

    Ira turns to playing in provincial towns where he his lauded for his work. But Gilbert continues to escalate the pressure.

    The buzz created in the provincial press, grabs the attention of the world stage.

    Turning Point – Major shift:

    Still unable to book major London theaters, Ira then turns to the international stage where his performances are in high demand all over the world. The superlative accolades he receives cannot be ignored.

    Act 4:

    Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

    Ira is honored by Queen Victoria, and booked in a major London theater. Gilbert finally writes a favorable review of Ira before dying.

    Resolution:

    The US Civil War ends. Ira makes plans to return to the U.S. but on his European tour, he dies in Poland.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 21, 2021 at 10:01 pm in reply to: Post Your Lesson 5 Assignment Here

    Pat’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

    What I learned doing this assignment is that this is good way to plan out the major plot points within the act structure. I expect it will evolve over time, but this is a good starting point.

    Concept: Ira, a young, black man, develops a passion for Shakespearean theater and seeks critical acclaim.

    Main Conflict: Ira seeks legitimacy in English Theater as a Shakespearean actor, but Gilbert an influential newspaper publisher seeks to ensure it never happens.

    Old Ways:

    · Plays in black theaters/Watches in the wings of white theaters

    · Ira, son of a preacher, humbly plays by the rules

    · Doesn’t pursue all options to fight back

    New Ways:

    · Plays in white theaters

    · Breaks the rules/learns the art of spin

    · Opens his mind to other possibilities to fight back by embarrassing his critics

    Act 1:

    · Opening: Ira loses his mother. His stepmother arrives and Ira leaves home to work as a cabin boy on ship headed to North Carolina where a slave-trader tries to purchase him. He returns home and despite his father’s objections he takes up theater acting.

    · Inciting Incident: He meets a sought-after actor who develops a ruse to help him come to England, disguised as a valet.

    · Turning Point: Ira journeys to England.

    Act 2:

    New plan: Build a network while waiting in the wings watching his mentor.

    Plan in action: He begins taking on roles in English theaters and his bashed by the critics, especially Gilbert who influences other critics.

    Midpoint Turning Point: Ira spins his background and despite the warm reception from audiences, other critics change their opinions, but Gilbert refuses to give.

    Act 3:

    Rethink everything: Ira despite his love from audiences, still is not accepted in major English theaters.

    New plan: Ira launches a tour European tour

    Turning Point – Major shift: His European tour is a success as other country’s critics laud his ability.

    Act 4:

    Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Ira returns to England and Gilbert concedes before his death.

    Resolution: Gilbert continues on his European tour and plans to return to the US, but dies in Poland.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 19, 2021 at 5:59 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 4 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Character Interviews

    What I learned doing this assignment is interviewing to your characters can help identify areas to address in your story either for exposition, plot or character.

    QUESTIONS FOR IRA:

    Tell me about yourself: My name is Ira. I am the son of a Preacher/Farmer. I was born a free man in New York in the 1800s. I was a dutiful son until my creative desires became greater than by desire to obey my father’s wishes for me.

    Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

    You are up against: What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you? Having alluded captivity by a slave trader, being ridiculed by the press because I am black.

    In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult? I will have to work very hard, practice my diction, but maintain my authentic self and expression, and the most difficult will be managing perceptions and overcoming racists attitudes.

    What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of? People-pleasing.

    What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back? The constant use of violence and brutality to hold back my people.

    What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist? Prior to coming to England, I studied in NY at two theaters. I will not give up or fail.

    What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?

    I’m American.

    What do you think of ? I dream of becoming a world-renown Shakespearean thespian.

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story. Gilbert is a powerful, influential man in England. He can influence the opinions of other publishers and critics, but the audiences reactions and opinions will outshine his hateful reviews of my work. If he doesn’t change, he is a tragic character and I will simply find a way to highlight his racism and pettiness.

    What does it do for your life is you succeed here? I can succeed, I will have greater name recognition and greater influence. I will use my influence to help end slavery in America.

    Ask any other questions about their character profile that will help you:

    Why are you unfaithful? I can’t help it, I love women.

    QUESTIONS FOR GILBERT

    Tell me about yourself. I am a noble a man of outstanding character. I’m married to a successful operate singer and song writer, and we have six children. I began writing since early childhood and have published many books. In early adulthood, I turned my passion into publications. After consulting for the city, my diligence and attention to detail earned me an appointment as a magistrate after I uncovered a scandal. I show mercy to the poor when deciding their fate.

    Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses? I am observant and almost always right. I have no weaknesses.

    movie, why are you committed to making them change? Ira has no business taking on a white-man’s role. He is lowly and should find a job appropriate for his kind, such as, shining my shoes.

    What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition? Proving my point – he’s not worthy of the position and freeing up an opportunity for white men. If ni***** take up all the jobs, there won’t be any for my white brethren.

    What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death? Affirmation.

    What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity? Although other critics and audiences love him, I will use whatever excuses I can to run him off the stages.

    Compared to other people like you, what makes you special? I’m a literary and historical genius, fluent in Roman history.

    What do you think of ? Power, prestige and influence.

    Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story: Ira is an unqualified, lowly, phony man whose talent is underserving of opportunities on England’s stage. While he might be able to fool the theater managers, he can’t fool me. I can’t stand to see him in intimate scenes with his white leading ladies. It’s unconscionable.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 18, 2021 at 12:43 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself To the Group

    Pat Shelby here. I’ve written 2 theatrical scripts and 3 TV scripts. From this class, I hope to find a process for writing more quickly in order to build a library of good, high quality scripts. In college, I was in student government and had the pleasure of meeting Jesse Jackson.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 18, 2021 at 12:01 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 3 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Character Profile Part 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is it is interesting to lay out the two characters’ traits and envision how they might interact in the story.

    IRA

    What draws us to this character? A fish out of water — A young, black kid desires a career in Shakespearean theater. He crosses color barrier into an exclusively white world and, later, crosses the Atlantic into the exclusively European world. He will face chiding and lies about his inadequacy as he creates a path for others to follow. He must develop strategies and tactics to succeed.

    Traits: Risk-taker, fighter, intelligent, ambitious.

    Subtext: Metaphor, Allusion, Insinuation, Seductive, Crafty

    Flaw: Sexual dalliances

    Values: Hard work, determination, equality

    Irony: He parodies the parodies use to taunt him. He uses tactics that others use against him, such as lies, to sway boost his social standing and sway public opinion. His professional and social network is white, his wife and mistresses are white, and he is an outspoken, committed abolitionist despite it’s unpopularity with some in his circle.

    What makes him the right character for this role? He has a genuine passion for the art. He works hard at it. He can take a fall and get back up.

    Gilbert

    What draws us to this character? He is a newspaper publisher and theater critic who never attended college, but rises to success as a both a publisher and a magistrate. is highly successful and considered refined gentleman. Yet, he is a hardcore racist and willing to display less than cultured behavior to trash Ira.

    Traits: Diligent, intelligent, diligent, compassionate to the poor.

    Subtext: Refined, Diplomatic/Devious, conniving

    Flaw: Racist

    Values: Literacy, Sarcasm, Family, Exclusivity

    Irony: A descendant of a cardinal, he is compassionate to the poor, but is incensed by Ira’s boldness. His wife is an opera singer, but he lacks empathy as a critic. His obsession with ending Ira’s career causes him to lose credibility with his publishing peers.

    What makes him the right character for this role? Despite both having less than optimal backgrounds for their roles, his obsession with Ira’s boldness plays into Ira’s hands.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 18, 2021 at 12:00 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 2 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Character Profile Part 2

    What I learned doing this assignment is it is interesting to lay out the two characters’ traits and envision how they might interact in the story.

    IRA

    What draws us to this character? A fish out of water — A young, black kid desires a career in Shakespearean theater. He crosses color barrier into an exclusively white world and, later, crosses the Atlantic into the exclusively European world. He will face chiding and lies about his inadequacy as he forges a path for others to follow. He must develop strategies and tactics to succeed.

    Traits: Risk-taker, fighter, intelligent, ambitious.

    Subtext: Metaphor, Allusion, Insinuation, Seductive, Crafty

    Flaw: Sexual dalliances

    Values: Hard work, determination, equality

    Irony: He parodies the parodies used to taunt him. He uses tactics that others use against him, such as lies, to boost his social standing and sway public opinion. His professional and social network is white, his wife and mistresses are white, and he is an outspoken, committed abolitionist despite it’s unpopularity with some in his circle.

    What makes him the right character for this role? He has a genuine passion for the art. He works hard at it. He can take a fall and get back up.

    Gilbert

    What draws us to this character? He is a newspaper publisher and theater critic who never attended college, but rises to success as a both a publisher and a magistrate. He is highly successful and considered a refined gentleman. Yet, he is a hardcore racist and willing to display less than cultured behavior to trash Ira.

    Traits: Diligent, intelligent, diligent, compassionate to the poor.

    Subtext: Refined, Diplomatic/Devious, conniving

    Flaw: Racist

    Values: Literacy, Sarcasm, Family, Exclusivity

    Irony: A descendant of a Cardinal, he is compassionate to the poor, but is incensed by Ira’s boldness. His wife is an opera singer, but he lacks empathy as a critic. His obsession with ending Ira’s career causes him to lose credibility with his publishing peers.

    What makes him the right character for this role? Despite both having less than optimal beginnings, his obsession with Ira’s boldness plays into Ira’s hands.

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 17, 2021 at 6:15 am in reply to: Post Your Lesson 2 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Character Profiles Part 1

    What I learned doing this assignment is filling out the details now adds clarity later.

    Protagonist – IRA

    · Type: A dreamer/fighter – he dreams of becoming a great thespian, but is ridiculed because he is black.

    · Role in the story: An African-American man who has a passion for Shakespearean theater. He is also an abolitionist.

    · Age range and Description: From 9- 60, clever, resourceful, ambitious

    · Internal Journey: From a people pleaser to strategist

    · External Journey: From a farmer boy to a critically renown Shakespearean performer

    · Motivation: Wants praise; Needs a sense of belonging.

    · Wound: Being judged on the basis of skin color

    · Mission/Agenda: To become a sought after, influential performer and to use his influence to help abolish U.S. slavery.

    · Secret: Mistresses and illegitimate children.

    · What makes them special? Tenacity, willingness to grow, and his ability to outwit his naysayers and detractors.

    Antagonist – Gilbert

    · Type: Villain

    · Role in the story: A newspaper editor, theater critic and magistrate unwilling to accept a black man playing Shakespearean roles in England.

    · Age range and Description: From 20 – 56

    · Internal Journey: From bigoted to tolerant

    · External Journey: From an esteemed editor of a popular newspaper to being vilified by his competitor.

    · Motivation: Wants prestige; Needs decency.

    · Wound: TBD

    · Mission/Agenda: End Ira’s career as a thespian

    · Secret: Mistresses and illegitimate children.

    · What makes them special? He’s a prolific theater writer and critic. Promoted to magistrate at an early age because of his detailed writing ability.

    What other characters might be necessary?

    · Supporting characters: Ira’s Wife, Ira’s Mistress(es)

    · Minor roles: Ira’s father/mother; Ships Captain, Ira’s Mentors, Theater owners/managers, Oher Newspaper critics

    · Background characters: Performers, Churchgoers, field workers, ship workers

    Genre: Drama

  • Pat Shelby

    Member
    March 16, 2021 at 3:15 am in reply to: Post Your Day 1 Assignment Here

    Pat’s Transformational Journey

    What I learned doing this assignment is that using this method helps to round out the character arc. The journey and the character arc becomes more clear when you can exclusively focus on these points.

    You send a Hero on a journey that the audience gets to live.

    1. Listen to the 3 minute Empowerment Audio FIRST.

    2. Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?

    Ira

    Internal Journey:

    · Discovers he is not happy with his father’s plans for him to become a preacher

    · Falls in love with Theater

    · Seeks to overcome racist reviews and in his spare time, becomes an outspoken critic of U.S. Slavery

    · Discovers markets that appreciate and laud his works/sponsors an enslaved family

    · Plans to return to home the US

    External Journey:

    · Farmer boy

    · A ship hand

    · Tries Shakespearean acting and his beat up by locals

    · Attends seminarian school

    · Journeys to England

    · Rises through the ranks of English Theater

    · Panned by the Critics

    · Discovers a role where he is lauded for his work

    · Penalized for his outspokenness regarding abolition

    · Tours throughout Europe and obtains critical acclaim

    · Returns to England and gains acceptance

    · Seeks the same in the US

    3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?

    Old Ways:

    · A farm boy who lives life to please his father

    · Takes odd jobs to help support the family

    · Obedient to his father

    · Attends seminary school

    New Ways:

    · Attends theater at night

    · Networks with actors and others in the Theatrical world

    · Takes risks and moves to England

    · Finds a way to battle his critics

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