[Patty Wilson]

Patty Wilson’s Scene / Robert and Trent

INT. UPSCALE RESTURANT – NIGHT

A grinning Trent motions to Robert to follow him. Robert, slightly drunk, sways, the Scotch in his glass sloshes over the edge. Only a few drops.

Robert

Where are we going? Hey Trent, you throw a nice party man.

Trent laughs, slaps Robert on the back.

Trent

Anything for you! You deserve it!

Robert smiles as the two men walk down the hall, deep plush carpet, dark oak paneling. The sound of muted laughter, glasses, tinkle of silverware fades.

RESTURANT – PRIVATE DEN

Trent opens a door and ushers Robert in. A gentleman’s lounge decked in maroon leather with dark paneled walls. Two easy chairs flank a fireplace complete with fire. A flat screen over the fireplace.

A bar on one side of the room, two leather couches face each other in the center.

Robert stops. Impressed.

Robert

Wow! I didn’t know this was here! And I though I knew everything about this place. Did you rent this with the rest of party? Hey, how about the boss? Isn’t he hammered? And did you see his old lady? What a looker – even at her age. I think she wants me,

Trent

Tell me, how did you nail her?

Robert

I never said I slept with the boss’s wife, but, well –

Robert winks. Trent nods. Adjusts his tie and coat. He’s wearing an upscale suit as befitting the occasion.

Robert

She flirts with all the young executives. Phil, Tom. But with me – (spreads his hands out) — you know how it is. I can satisfy them all.

Trent sits in one of the chairs by the fire. On the end table between the chair are two glasses of Cognac, two Cuban cigars.

As he lights a cigar, Trent offers one to Robert. Carefully smooths his suit and adjusts the glasses.

Trent

Have a cigar! A glass of Cognac.

Robert puts his scotch on the bar, steps over to Trent. Grabs the Cognac and downs it in one gulp.

Robert

Don’t mind if I do.

Trent (whispers)

You can tell me, is that how you got the promotion? The boss’s wife?

He sits. Leans in towards Trent, his voice low.

Robert

Not exactly.

Trent

Not exactly. Hard work, right?

Robert nods. Grins.

Robert

Hey – thanks for throwing me this party! I thought you’d be pissed because I was promoted.

Trent (smiles)

Can’t say I’m not disappointed. But you’re a good friend and it pays to have friends in high places, right?

Trent stares at the fire, his smile fades. Robert looks around, as if he expects —

Robert

I thought we’d be joined by – you know – the hot number in accounting, maybe some others –.

Trent

I have some friends coming –

Robert (chuckles)

You have friends?

Trent (ominous)

Sure – don’t we all need friends? Right Trent? With your social network, the promotion —

Robert

Trent, buddy, haven’t you ridden on my success? I mean Shelly, she’s into you, after me of course –

Trent pulls his phone, leans across to Robert, shows him the screen.

Trent

I own you. This is my celebration tonight.

A confused Robert stands.

Robert

I need another cognac. Is the bottle over there? And I have no idea what you’re talking about. Sure, you’re on my team.

Trent hands Robert the Cognac bottle from beside his chair. He then punches buttons on his phone. Picks up a controller, snaps on the TV.

ON THE TV SCREEN

Robert and the boss’s wife making love. A TEENAGE GIRL is at the bedroom door with her iphone. Recording.

Trent

You’ve been played!

Robert freezes in horror. Blood drains from his face.

Trent smiles like the cat that caught the canary.

Trent

Good thing I’m friends with the boss’s daughter’s nanny. From now on in, Robert, you will ensure that I’m your vice-president. (pause) with the appropriate salary.

As Robert meets Trent’s gaze he raises an arm with the bottle of cognac. Robert swings the bottle catching Trent’s head as he lunges forward.

The heavy bottle cracks, but no liquor is spilled. Robert SCREAMS and pounces over Trent, bringing the heavy bottle down on his head. Again.

Trent covers his head with his arms.

TRENT

Stop! Stop!

Robert pants. He stops swinging the bottle. Looks down at the crumbled Trent. Gives him a savage kick.

He leans down, snatches Trent’s phone out of his hand. Throws the phone in the fire.

The video on the TV screen vanishes.

Robert kicks Trent again. Storms out.

[Patty Wilson]

Patty Wilson Puts Essence to Work

Script: SHE SPEAKS FOR THE DEAD

Scene 1 Location: Opening Scene

Logline: As she talks to a murdered victim’s spirit, a police detective discovers the girl’s body based on what the spirit tells her.

Essence discovered: While the detective relies on the murdered girl’s spirit to find her body, she realizes the girl is not as helpful as the detective needs.

New logline: The victim’s spirit expresses her frustration at not being able to communicate to the detective what happened to her to help her find her body.

Scene 2 Location: Downtown section, Alley

Logline: The detective, Maddy, meets her partner and the medical examiner to process the scene.

Essence discovered: Maddy’s partner doesn’t believe Maddy’s story as to how she discovered the body.

New Logline: Maddy’s partner, Irene, accuses Maddy of not sharing information so that Maddy can get all the credit.

Scene 3 Location: Irene’s House

Logline: Maddy and Irene discuss the case and Irene disagrees with Maddy’s leads and accuses her of tampering with the evidence. A malevolent spirit speaks to Maddy and influences her view of the case.

Essence discovered: Maddy realizes she can’t count on her partner.

New Logline: Maddy is devastated and thinks her partner is against her. Irene is protecting the integrity of the investigation. Maddy’s self-doubts leads to her reliance on the malevolent spirit’s guidance.

Scene 4 Location: Ryan House

Logline: Maddy talks to a foster family for more information about a missing foster boy, Aamon, who she thinks is dead because his spirit talks to her.

Essence discovered: Mrs. Ryan fostered Aamon but sent him back because he was disruptive.

New Logline: Mrs. Ryan feels guilty for sending Aamon back. She is defensive and blames him for several accidents to her other foster kids.

Scene 5 Location: Aamon’s House

Logline: After finding his wife dead, the police arrest Phil, the husband and foster parent of missing Aamon.

Essence discovered: The police arrest a drink Phil without incident.

New Logline: Phil is in shock about his wife’s death but acts as if he is guilty of the murder.

What I learned: I need to go deeper into each character’s pov and motivation to ensure the scene plays the way it is in my head.

[Patty Wilson]

Patty Wilson Finds the Essence

I chose YELLOWSTONE – The Pilot

Scene 1

Scene 1: Location: Truck Stop at the Wyoming/Montana Border
Logline: A biker thanks Cory for his military service but then he beats him up in a fight over the biker’s girlfriend.
Essence: An introduction to military vet Cory who is violent, has PTSD, and is willing to kill when someone threatens him.

Scene 2: Location: Gas Fields Montana

Logline: Corey comes to an oil field to chase out a band of wild horses and tell the workers that all he has to do is get the stallion out because the others will follow.

Essence: Cory is a leader others will follow, and Cory doesn’t want oil to pollute the land.

Scene 3: Location: Indian Casino Office

Logline: The Chief of an Indian Nation puts on a war bonnet to accompany a U.S. Senator on a tour of the Reservation.
Essence: The native American chief plots to right the wrongs done to them by buying their land with funds from the tourist and gambling trade.

Scene 4: Location: Ted Turner’s Montana Grill
Logline: Beth Dutton is dressed in high class city clothes and gets hit on by a tourist married man.
Essence: Beth uses her city and sexual skills in her war to keep the Ranch.

Scene 5: Location: Yellowstone Ranch (at the funeral of Lee Dutton)
Logline: Cory separates himself from the mourners while he brings the wild grey stallion that he broke and gives the horse to John Dutton (his father).
Essence: John thinks estranged Cory’s gift means he’s moving back to Yellowstone but it’s Cory’s way of saying he’s sorry for his brother’s death.

What I learned was that Taylor’s writing is full of imagery and each scene is a metaphor for the the main character’s values in a land vs commerce fight.

[Patty Wilson]

Hi, I’m Patty Wilson. I live in Florida, love to golf, though I have switched to writing so my time is limited. I work full time, mostly from home. I’ve written three features and two pilots. I hope to elevate my writing and Hal and Cheryl’s courses are the way to go. I’ve been a long time student of ScreenwritingU.

[Patty Wilson]

Patty Wilson

I agree to the terms of the release form below.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Patty Wilson]

1. Patty Wilson

2. I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Patty Wilson]

I have seen this movie and Bagger comes at the right time, with the right tools, and helps Junah save his golf game, and in essence himself. I see Bagger as a guardian angel much like IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE.

[Patty Wilson]

I liked your analogy of Junah’s golf game to his life – he’s not just finding his swing, he’s trying to find his old life.