Paul Dees
Forum Replies Created
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment, is how to write the 1<sup>st</sup> act of a screenplay within a matter of days by just writing it out.
Well, I went through Act 1 and tweaked it just a touch. Not much, as the major revisions will come later. It’s been a very liberating experience though to get this screenplay up and running. Good times!
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to keep giving oneself permission to write a screenplay in order to complete the first draft.
The writing process continue to go fairly smoothly. The main thing I have to remember is to keep my inner critic quiet at this stage of the game. There will be a time and place for refining everything down the road, but for now, it’s all about getting it on the page. It look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to get one’s first draft completed, which is critical is the writing process as it provides the starting material for the writer to build off of going forward.
Act 1 is in the can. I found that silencing my inner critic and just going for it, freed me up to just write, which is what one needs to do at first. Will it stand as is in the final draft, definitely not, but that’s all right. The point is to just get it down, and then refine it from there. On to Act 2!
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Paul Dees’ High Speed Writing Rules
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is to embrace getting something on the page first, and then going back and revising at a later time.
I found this assignment to be very liberating. It reminds me of when I was in elementary school, and my friends and I would make up all kinds of adventures during recess on the spot. We didn’t think twice about what “story” we were creating, and we always made up something new. And I’m finding the more I turn off my perfectionist mode at this stage of the game, the easier it is to crank out the first draft. Great stuff!
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned for doing this assignment is the value of developing an in-depth outline before writing a screenplay.
Writing the first scene went fairly smooth. The outline was a tremendous help, and I’ve already come up with some ideas on how to improve and refine the scene and the immediate scenes that follow. I look forward to continuing to write this story.
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Hi Folks,
I have an action/thriller outline I’m ready to exchange with someone.
Best,
Paul
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Paul Dees’ Scene Requirements
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to make every scene in a screenplay engaging for an audience.
1. EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT
SPECIAL AGENT RICK O’BRIEN (40’s) and his partner SPECIAL AGENT DAVID WHITMAN (40’s) are across the street from the house. Rick talks on a mobile phone to a kidnapper who’s in the house with a hostage.
Essence: Rick tries to negotiate with the kidnapper.
Conflict: Will the kidnapper surrender?
Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of surrendering.
Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper will surrender. We’re afraid he’ll kill his hostage and escape.
2. INT. A HOUSE – NIGHT
The KIDNAPPER (30’s) wearing a mask, marches his HOSTAGE (30’s) toward the front door. A gun is pointed at her head.
Essence: The kidnapper wants to escape.
Conflict: The hostage wants to be set free.
Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of setting her free.
Hope/Fear: We hope the hostage will be rescued. We fear she’ll be killed.
3. EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT
The kidnapper and his hostage emerge from the house. He marches the hostage over to a car. He then shoots her. Rick and Agent Whitman try to apprehend the kidnapper. The kidnapper shoots Agent Whitman and races away. Agent Whitman dies in Rick’s arms.
Essence: The kidnapper escapes
Conflict: The FBI agents want to rescue to the hostage, and the kidnapper wants to kill her.
Subtext: Rick is powerless to stop the kidnapper.
Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper is captured. We fear he’ll kill the hostage and escape.
4. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – SIX MONTHS LATER – DAY
A WOMAN (30’) gets out of her car. She has a blank expression and carries a handbag. She walks purposefully, swiftly and enters the building.
Essence: The woman is arriving for something important.
Conflict: She seems to be late for her engagement.
Subtext: Her blank expression indicate she’s under someone’s control.
Hope/Fear: We hope she’s just late for something. We fear she’s got a darker purpose.
5. INT. THE BUILDING – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
The woman exits the elevator. She turns down the hall and enters a utility closet.
Essence: The woman has something to do in the utility closet.
Conflict: She is in an awful hurry to do whatever she’s trying to do.
Subtext: She seems to be in a trance, like she’s being controlled by someone.
Hope/ Fear: We hope she just forgot to do her makeup. We fear she’s up to no good.
6. INT. THE UTILITY CLOSET – DAY
The woman enters, takes out a bomb, and hides it behind some cleaning supplies. The bomb’s timer has five minutes remaining.
Essence: The woman is there to set off a bomb.
Conflict: There are innocent people who will be killed.
Subtext: No one knows the bomb is there.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will find the bomb in time. We fear it will go off.
7. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The woman exits the building. A massive explosion rocks the building at the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. The woman’s face shimmers. A mask falls off her face. She looks different than she did when she was wearing the mask. She looks around, bewildered. She looks up at the carnage from the explosion and runs off.
Essence: The woman bombed the building against her will.
Conflict: The bomb went off, and people died.
Subtext: Who is the person behind the bombing.
Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught quickly. We fear it will be the start of a series of bombings.
8. EXT. A HOUSE IN AN UPPER MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Essence: This is showing where a character lives.
Conflict: N/A
Subtext: Who lives there?
Hope/Fear: N/A
9. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Rick plays his guitar, lost in thought.
Essence: This is what Rick is up to these days.
Conflict: Rick battles his inner demons.
Subtext: Rick has given up on life.
Hope/Fear: We hope he hasn’t given up on life. We fear he has.
10. INT. KITCHEN – DAY
STEPHANIE O’BRIEN (40’s) Rick’s wife, fixes breakfast. SAMMY (pre-teen) and JENNIFER (pre-teen) their two kids, argue at the table, but she’s oblivious to it. The doorbell rings.
Essence: Stephanie goes through the motions of her morning routine.
Conflict: She’s fighting against the hurt from her husband being absent at home.
Subtext: Their marriage is on the rocks.
Hope/Fear: We hope she and Rick are just going through a phase. We fear their marriage is over.
11. INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY
Stephanie opens the door, and SPECIAL AGENT RYAN STEVENS (50’s) stands there. He ask if he can come in and talk to Rick.
Essence Rick’s boss want to talk to him.
Conflict: Rick likely doesn’t want to talk to him.
Subtext: It’s not a good time for Rick’s boss to be there.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s boos has a new assignment for him. We fear Rick is going to be fired.
12. INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Rick’s boss says he wants him to check out a crime scene, as he’s the resident expert on bombings. Rick reluctantly agrees.
Essence: Rick’s expertise is needed.
Conflict: He doesn’t feel like doing anything.
Subtext: Rick is finished with being an FBI agent.
Hope/Fear: We hope this will help Rick snap out of it. We fear it will only add to his depression.
13. EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Rick arrives at the scene of the bombing. He’s introduced to his new partner, Sean Gray.
14. INT. A SKYSCRAPER – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
Rick and Sean investigate the blast site. Three quarters of the floor is gone, replaced with a gaping chasm with the view of the city below. Rick struggles with being up there, as he hates heights.
Essence: Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the bombing.
Conflict: Rick hates heights, but he has to do his job.
Subtext: This is the work of a criminal mastermind.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will find clues to help them catch the bomber. We fear it won’t help them at all.
15. EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
As Rick and Sean wrap things up, Sean notices a mask lying on the ground and takes it with him.
Essence: Rick and Sean complete their investigation.
Conflict: There’s a mask in the parking lot.
Subtext: Who designed the mask, and what’s his end game?
Hope/Fear: We hope the mask will be another clue to help find the bomber. We fear it’ll be no help at all.
16. EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
A MAN (60’s) walks swiftly toward the entrance of the building. He has a blank look on his face and carries a briefcase.
Essence: A man is on his way to the building.
Conflict: He’s late for something.
Subtext: It looks like he’s being controlled by someone.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will be wise to him and ask what he’s doing. We fear he’s going to set off another bomb.
17. INT. A BATHROOM – DAY
The man sets the briefcase on the counter and walks out.
Essence: The man plants the bomb.
Conflict: People are going to die.
Subtext: No one knows that the briefcase has a bomb in it.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.
18. EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The man exits the building.
Essence: The man has successfully planted the bomb.
Conflict: People are in mortal danger.
Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.
19. INT. A BATHROOM – DAY
Men wash their hands at the sink. The unattended briefcase sits there at the counter. The bomb explodes.
Essence: The bomb is sitting there, waiting to go off.
Conflict: People are in mortal danger.
Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.
20. EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The man’s face shimmers, and a mask falls off his face, revealing a different looking person. The man looks up at the devastation above and runs off.
Essence: The man was being controlled by someone else.
Conflict: Innocent people have been killed.
Subtext: Who’s behind all this?
Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught. We fear there will be more attacks.
21. INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Rick enters, She and Rick argue about when he’s going to join the family again and stop distancing himself from them. The doorbell rings.
Essence: Rick and Stephanie argue about how he’s handling his depression.
Conflict: Stephanie wants Rick to be more involved in their family’s lives, Rick wants to keep them at arm’s length.
Subtext: Rick’s demons continue to haunt him.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Stephanie’s family stays intact. We fear they won’t.
22. INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY
Stephanie answers the door. It’s Special Agent Stevens again. He tells Rick he’s been reactivated as now they’re dealing with a serial bomber.
Essence: Rick is dragged back into service.
Conflict: It’s the last thing he wants to do.
Subtext: Rick doesn’t want to fail again.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch the bomber. We fear he won’t.
23. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick arrives at the office and catches up on the details of the case. Special Agent Sean Gray shows Rick how the mask they found at the scene of the bombing is designed to control the mind of the person who wears it. He puts it on to demonstrate. His face changes and he starts walking out of the room. It takes Rick and two additional agents to remove it.
Essence: The bomber is using masks to control innocent people in order to plant the bombs.
Conflict: How to tell who’s wearing a mask and who isn’t?
Subtext: A whole city is walking around not knowing that any one of them could be an unwilling accomplice for the bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught sooner than later. We fear it will be near impossible to find him.
24. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick looks through the FBI database and finds a recently paroled convict named Jonathan Rogers that has the skill set needed to pull off the bombings, as well as a past record of bombing buildings for insurance fraud.
Essence: Rick and Sean have a possible suspect.
Conflict: Their suspect isn’t going to appreciate being visited by the FBI.
Subtext: Jonathan could be the bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan turns out to be the bomber. We fear he won’t be.
25. EXT. JONATHAN ROGERS’ APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean knock on Jonathan’s door. He reluctantly lets them in.
Essence: Rick and Sean are there to question a suspect.
Conflict: Jonathan isn’t real keen to talk to them.
Subtext: What is Jonathan hiding?
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.
26. INT. JONATHAN ROGER’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean question Jonathan on his whereabouts on the days of the bombings. He says he wasn’t anywhere near either site on the days in question.
Essence: Rick and Sean are trying to get to the bottom of the case.
Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t seem to be their man.
Subtext: Jonathan could still be the bomber, and Rick and Sean just haven’t proved it yet.
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear that Rick and Sean won’t be able to prove it.
27. INT. A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the second bombing. They find the same residue they found at the first site, and another mask in the parking lot of the building. Rick remembers that Jonathan used the same materials for his bombs.
Essence: Rick and Jonathan gather more evidence.
Conflict: The evidence points to Jonathan even though he maintains his innocence.
Subtext: Is Jonathan really the bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope this new evidence will give Rick and Sean what they need to prove Jonathan is the bomber, We fear they’re going after the wrong guy.
28. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick and Sean access the Post Office records and find that Jonathan sent two packages to two different people on the very days the bombings occurred.
Essence: Rick and Jonathan continue to build their case against Jonathan.
Conflict: N/A
Subtext: The bomber might not be Jonathan.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean are getting closer to apprehending Jonathan. We fear Jonathan could be the wrong guy.
29. EXT. TWO DIFFERENT HOUSES – DAY
Rick and Sean visit with both of the recipients on Jonathan’s packages, and they are in fact the same two people that unwittingly planted the bombs in the building that were attacked.
Essence: Rick and Sean are connecting the dots in order apprehend Jonathan for the bombings.
Conflict: Two innocent people were forced to carry out an atrocious crime against their will.
Subtext: Who really is the bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope that Rick and Sean have all the ducks in a row so they can bring Jonathan to justice. We fear they’re after the wrong guy.
30. EXT. JONTHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean knock on Jonathan’s door and show him their search warrant. Jonathan lets them in.
Essence: Rick and Sean are ready to apprehend Jonathan.
Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want them to come in.
Subtext: There’s a very good chance that Jonathan is the bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.
31. INT. JONATHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean return to Jonathan’s apartment with a warrant. They find explosive materials and electronics. Jonathan runs out the back door.
Essence: Rick and Sean have found their man.
Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want to get caught and runs.
Subtext: There’s a moment when we’re not sure if Jonathan is the bomber or not.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will catch Jonathan. We fear he’ll get away.
32. EXT. THE ALLEY BEHIND JONATHAN’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean give chase. At a certain point, Jonathan comes out from around a corner and aims a gun at Sean. Rick draws his pistol and shoots Jonathan just in time, saving Sean’s life.
Essence: Jonathan is the bomber.
Conflict: Rick and Sean want to arrest Jonathan, and he doesn’t want to go to jail.
Subtext: What if they’re going after the wrong guy?
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean finally caught the bomber. We fear he’s still on the loose.
33. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – DAY
Rick comes home and opens up to Stephanie for the first time in a long while. He tells her he wants things to be different between them and with the kids. She accepts his offer gratefully. He then asks if they can have Sean over for dinner, as he’s single and usually eats frozen dinners. She agrees to have him over.
Essence: Rick is trying to make amends to his wife and their kids.
Conflict: Stephanie is a bit guarded when Rick first talks to her.
Subtext: Will Rick keep up his newly determined devotion to his family?
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick is a changed man. We fear it won’t last.
34. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM NIGHT
Sean arrives for dinner with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in tow.
Essence: Rick and Sean are getting to be good friends as well as being partners.
Conflict: N/A
Subtext: We had no idea Sean could make cookies. What else don’t we know about him?
Hope/Fear: We hope that reaching out to Sean will help Rick and Stephanie’s marriage and his relationship with his kids. We fear that it’ll make things more stressful for them.
35. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
During dinner, Sean reveals his parents were killed in 9/11, which is why he became an FBI agent.
Essence: Sean is bonding with Rick and his family.
Conflict: It makes dinner a slightly tense affair learning about Sean’s parents.
Subtext: What else don’t we know about Sean? Could he be dangerous?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will continue to bond with Rick and his family. We fear it may not last if Sean is hiding much darker things about himself.
36. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
A GIRL (teens) rushes into the building with a handbag slung over her shoulder. There’s a blank look on her face.
Essence: A girl heads into a building.
Conflict: She’s in a hurry.
Subtext: We’ve seen this before. Did Rick and Sean catch the bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope this isn’t another bomb about to go off. We fear that’s exactly what it is.
37. INT. BREAK ROOM – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
The girl leaves her handbag on one of the tables and leaves. No one notices her.
Essence: The girl plants the bomb.
Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.
Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.
38. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The girl exits the building.
Essence: The girl planted the bomb without it being discovered.
Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.
Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.
39. INT. THE HALLWAY NEAR THE BREAK ROOM – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
One second everything is business as usual. Then there’s a blinding flash, and fire engulfs the hallway.
Essence: The bomber has struck again.
Conflict: Innocent people have died.
Subtext: Who is behind this latest attack?
Hope/Fear: We hope the real bomber will be caught soon. We fear his reign of terror will continue.
40. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick and Sean and a couple of other agents socialize. Agent Stevens, their boss, bursts into the room, and has them turn on the TV, which shows the aftermath of the latest bombing. Rick and Sean get a package addressed to them.
They find a flash drive inside, and it has a video message from the real bomber, telling them he set-up Jonathan just for fun, and that he already had five more people plant bombs just today, which will go off may minute. Rick, Sean and all of the other agents get on the phone and start alerting the heads of local law enforcement.
Essence: Rick and Sean caught the wrong man.
Conflict: The real bomber is still at large.
Subtext: Who is the real bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope law enforcement can find the bombs before they go off. We fear they won’t find them in time.
41. EXT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS THROUGHOUT THE CITY – DAY
Montage of five different buildings and people from all walks of life with blank looks walking out the front entrance. Suddenly all five bombs go off.
Essence: The bomber strikes with a vengeance.
Conflict: Buildings are hit all over the city, and a whole bunch of people have died.
Subtext: Who is the real bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean and the rest of the city’s law enforcement can finally catch the bomber. We fear there will be no end to the attacks.
42. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY
Rick turns in his badge.
Essence: Rick is defeated.
Conflict: Rick wants to resign. Agent Stevens tries to get him to reconsider.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will reconsider. We fear it’s too late.
43. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – NIGHT
Rick shuffles in. He tells Stephanie about the latest wave of attacks, and how he resigned from the bureau. She tells him he needs to see it through and find the bomber or he’ll never be at peace.
Essence: Rick gives up.
Conflict: Rick wants to quit. His wife tells him he can’t.
Subtext: There’s a bomber still at large.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick won’t give up. We fear he already has.
44. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY
Rick asks Agent Stevens for his badge back. Agent Stevens gives it to him and says he hadn’t even processed the paperwork. Rick tells Agent Stevens he thinks the bomber might be one of their own and wants to run background checks on everyone in the office, as well as all local law enforcement. Agent Stevens gives him the go ahead.
Essence: Rick’s back.
Conflict: Rick’s looking for the bomber in their own ranks.
Subtext: It could very be someone in law enforcement.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s right and he finds the bomber. We hope he’s wrong and that it’s not one of their agents.
45. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick starts running background checks on all of the people working in the office, along with running their fingerprints from coffee cups, soda cans etc. He stops dead in his tracks as he look at one result in particular. He pulls Sean aside and says he needs to talk with him.
Essence: Rick has found the bomber.
Conflict: It’s someone that works for the FBI.
Subtext: The bomber doesn’t know Rick knows who he is.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch the bomber there at the field office. We fear it’s Sean.
46. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY
Rick tells Sean he ran his fingerprints, and a 56 year-old agent named Robert Davis pulled up. Sean then tells him how after his parents died, he lived with an Aunt and Uncle that didn’t have much time for him, and he wasn’t popular in school. So he spent all his time reading and discovered he had a talent for mathematics and engineering. He started developing the masks he sent to his “helpers” who planted all the bombs when he was still in high school. He wanted to leave home as soon as he graduated, so he enlisted in the military and worked in demolition. After he was discharged, Sean started hatching a plan on how to help the FBI get some real world practice with preventing terrorist attacks, since they botched 9/11 and his parents died along with so many others. So once he perfected the masks, he hacked into the FBI’s mainframe and kept checking when there was a vacancy in one of the offices. When one came up at their office, he stole Agent Davis’s identity, and transferred in. Rick asks Sean how he can live with killing so many people. Sean says it’s worth it if many more people get saved in the long run, as the FBI would eventually figure out how to stop the attacks. And he has another group of helpers ready to plant more bombs as soon as they get the go ahead. Rick tells Sean he can make it easy on himself and come quietly, or they can do it the hard way. Sean agrees to come quietly. Just as Rick goes to snap on the cuffs, Sean overpowers him and pins him to the floor. He tells Rick he won’t kill him since he saved his life, but his wife won’t be so lucky. Sean knocks Rick unconscious and leaves.
Essence: Sean is the bomber
Conflict: Rick tries arrest Sean. Sean escapes.
Subtext: When will the next wave of bombers strike?
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will come to in time and stop Sean. We fear Sean will escape and successfully carry out a whole new wave of bombings.
47. INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY
Sean enters and heads for the door. Someone asks him if he’s seen Rick and replied he hasn’t.
Essence: Sean is trying to flee.
Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
48. INT. FBI OFFICE – PARKING GARAGE – DAY
Sean gets in his car and makes his way to the exit.
Essence: Sean is trying to flee.
Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
49. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY
Rick comes to. He calls the security guard at the entrance to the parking lot.
Essence: Sean is trying to flee.
Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
50. EXT. FBI OFFICE – GUARD BOOTH – DAY
The SECURITY GUARD (20’s) picks up the phone just as Sean is exits the building.
Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.
Conflict: Rick was trying to stop him. Sean got away.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
51. INT/EXT. SEAN’S CAR – DAY
Sean takes out his phone and pulls up an app. His scrolls through it and pushes a number of buttons.
Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.
Conflict: Sean is about to start a whole new wave of bombings.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
52. INT. VARIOUS HOMES – DAY
People get into their cars carrying backpacks, handbags, etc., each of which has a bomb in to with a times counting down.
Essence: A new wave of bombings is about to start.
Conflict: Lots more people could die.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope the attacks will be stopped. We fear they won’t.
53. EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY
Sean pulls up carrying a package. He sets it down next to the front door and rings the bell. Stephanie answers, and Sean says he came by to pick up the plate he brought the cookies with the other night at dinner. Stephanie goes to get it and returns. Sean points out the “package” on the porch, and Stephanie takes it. Sean leaves.
Essence: Sean is about to make Stephanie wife one of his “helpers.”
Conflict: Stephanie’s actions are going to kill innocent people.
Subtext: Stephanie has no idea what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will get to the house in time. We fear he won’t.
54. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Stephanie opens the package and pulls out the mask. She hold it up, and suddenly a light shines in her eyes, and a voice tells her to put it on. She does, and her face changes into someone else. The voice tells her to take out the other package and open it. It’s a bomb with a timer counting down. The voice tells Stephanie to get in her car and drive downtown.
Essence: Stephanie is now one of Sean’s helpers.
Conflict: She will unknowingly kill innocent people.
Subtext: She has no idea what’s happening, as she’s being controlled against her will.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Stephanie before she plants the bomb. We fear he won’t.
55. INT. FBI OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY
Rick comes to and tells all of the agents that Sean is the bomber and is about to set off a whole new wave of attacks. They all head out.
Essence: Rick is going to try and rescue his wife, and the rest of the FBI are on the hunt for Sean.
Conflict: They’re trying to stop him before he kills a bunch more people.
Subtext: Sean is using people who have no idea what’s going on to carry out his plans.
Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean, and that Rick will rescue his wife in time. We fear they won’t.
56. EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY
Rick pulls up and runs to the front door.
Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife
Conflict: Stephanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.
Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.
57. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY
Rick bursts into the house. Stephanie is nowhere to be found.
Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife
Conflict: Stephanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.
Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.
58. INT./EXT. VARIOUS CARS – DAY
A number of people all with blank expressions and with a bomb in tow drive to their respective destinations where they’ll plant a bomb.
Essence: Sean is employing a new group of helpers to carry out his plans.
Conflict: People will die in droves if everyone successfully plants their bombs.
Subtext: No one them realize what they’re doing.
Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will find a way to stop them all in time. We fear they won’t.
59. INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY
Two agents spot Sean driving past them. They call Rick and tell him they’ve found him and go to lights and sirens.
Essence: The FBI is hot on Sean’s tail.
Conflict: They’re trying to catch Sean, and he’s trying to escape.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean in time. We fear they won’t.
60. INT./EXT. STEPHANIE’S CAR – DAY
Stephanie drives toward downtown. She looks like someone else, as the mask has changed her appearance and her eyes are blank.
Essence: Stephanie is on her way to carry out Sean’s plans.
Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she successfully plants the bomb.
Subtext: Stephanie had no idea what’s happening.
Hope/Fear: We hope Stephanie will be stopped before it’s too late. We fear she won’t be.
61. INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY
The agents that spotted Sean continue to give chase, and eventually run him off the road at a massive office building that’s under construction. Sean bursts out of his car, guns blazing. The agents return fire, but Sean shoots them both and runs toward the building. Rick pulls up and checks on the agents. They’re wounded but they’ll survive. Rick calls for an ambulance and then runs after Sean.
Essence: Sean is now on foot.
Conflict: He still controls the bombs’ timers with his phone.
Subtext: A number of innocent people are about to commit an atrocious crime without evening knowing what they’re doing.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch Sean in time before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t.
62. EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Stephanie approaches the building and enters.
Essence: Stephanie is about to plant the her bomb.
Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she’s successful.
Subtext: She’s an innocent pawn in it all.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone can stop her in time. We fear no one will.
63. INT. A BUILDING UNDER CONSTRUCTION – DAY
Rick runs after Sean as he enters a construction elevator. Sean taunts him about his fear of heights, and then starts going up. Rick looks around for another elevator and realizes there isn’t one. He runs over to the elevator and jumps up, catching a bar just in time as the elevator ascends.
Essence: Rick is trying to stop Sean before the bombs go off.
Conflict: Rick wants to stop Sean, and Sean wants his plan to succeed.
64. INT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Stephanie gets on an elevator.
Essence: Stephanie is on her way to plant the bomb.
Conflict: People will die if she pulls it off.
Subtext: No one in the building suspects what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Stephanie will be stopped somehow. We fear she won’t be.
65. EXT. THE CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR – THE ROOF – DAY
The elevator continues to ascend. Sean looks down and sees Rick hanging on for dear life. He smiles and asks how he’s enjoying the ride. He then starts stomping on Rick’s fingers in an effort to make in him fall.
Essence: Sean keeps Rick at bay while the timers on the bombs continue to count down.
Conflict: Rick is terrified of heights, but he needs to get to Sean before the bombs go off.
Subtext: A life and death struggle is playing out, and no one but Rick and Sean know about it.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will get to Sean before time runs out. We fear that he won’t.
66. INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY
Each person being controlled by Sean plants their bomb at the building they’ve been instructed to go to. Stephanie does as well in a supply closet. But as she goes to leave, the voice in her mask tells her to remain. She takes out her phone, and scrolls through her Facebook app. All of the others leave their respective buildings and head to the front entrance.
Essence: Sean’s plan is nearly complete.
Conflict: Many peoples’ lives are at stake.
Subtext: No one including the people that planted the bombs are aware of what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Sean before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t be able to.
67. EXT. THE CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR – DAY
The elevator reaches the top, 40 stories up, and lurches to a stop. Sean staggers back, and Rick swings up and gets in the elevator. He and Sean fight.
Essence: Sean’s plan is nearly complete.
Conflict: Many peoples’ lives are at stake.
Subtext: No one including the people that planted the bombs are aware of what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Sean before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t be able to.
68. INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY
The timer on each bomb has ten seconds.
Essence: The bombs are about to go off.
Conflict: A lot of people are about to die.
Subtext: No one suspects what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can still disarm the bombs’ timers. We fear it’s too late.
69. EXT. THE CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR – DAY
Sean knocks Rick backwards, and he falls down, half of him hangs over the side. Sean rushes over and pins Rick down, pulls out his phone and says all they need to do now is to watch the time countdown. Rick reaches up and grabs Sean’s phone. They struggle over it and Rick throws Sean out of the elevator to his death. Rick looks at the app and turns off the timers on the bombs. There’s one second left on each of them.
Essence: Rick saves the day.
Conflict: Sean almost bombed a whole new bunch of buildings.
Subtext: Only Rick knows what he just prevented.
Hope/Fear: We hoped we would save the day. We have no need to fear since he did.
70. INT. VARIOUS BUIDLINGS – DAY
The masks on the faces of each of Sean’s helpers shimmer, revealing their true identity. They all look around like a deer in headlights, unaware of how they got there.Essence: The nightmare is over
Conflict: Each of Sean’s helpers can’t figure out why they’re in the place they’re in.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hoped Rick would save the city. We have no need to fear now that he did.
71. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick is presented with the bureau’s highest award. Stephanie and their kids look on with pride. As everyone applauds, Agent Stevens tells him he’s ready to retire and is recommending him to become the new supervising agent for their field office.
Essence: Rick saved the day and found his purpose as an agent once again.
Conflict: His inner conflict is resolved.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick would save the day. There’s no need to fear now that he did.
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Paul Dees’ Scene Requirements
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to make an initial outline of the scenes in a screenplay using the proper formatting, along with the purpose of each scene.
EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT
SPECIAL AGENT RICK O’BRIEN (40’s) and his partner SPECIAL AGENT DAVID WHITMAN (40’s) are across the street from the house. Rick talks on a mobile phone to a kidnapper who’s in the house with a hostage.
Essence: Rick tries to negotiate with the kidnapper.
Conflict: Will the kidnapper surrender?
Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of surrendering.
Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper will surrender. We’re afraid he’ll kill his hostage and escape.
INT. A HOUSE – NIGHT
The KIDNAPPER (30’s) wearing a mask, marches his HOSTAGE (30’s) toward the front door. A gun is pointed at her head.
Essence: The kidnapper wants to escape.
Conflict: The hostage wants to be set free.
Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of setting her free.
Hope/Fear: We hope the hostage will be rescued. We fear she’ll be killed.
EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT
The kidnapper and his hostage emerge from the house. He marches the hostage over to a car. He then shoots her. Rick and Agent Whitman try to apprehend the kidnapper. The kidnapper shoots Agent Whitman and races away. Agent Whitman dies in Rick’s arms.
Essence: The kidnapper escapes
Conflict: The FBI agents want to rescue to the hostage, and the kidnapper wants to kill her.
Subtext: Rick is powerless to stop the kidnapper.
Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper is captured. We fear he’ll kill the hostage and escape.
EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – SIX MONTHS LATER – DAY
A WOMAN (30’) gets out of her car. She has a blank expression and carries a handbag. She walks purposefully, swiftly and enters the building.
Essence: The woman is arriving for something important.
Conflict: She seems to be late for her engagement.
Subtext: Her blank expression indicate she’s under someone’s control.
Hope/Fear: We hope she’s just late for something. We fear she’s got a darker purpose.
INT. THE BUILDING – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
The woman exits the elevator. She turns down the hall and enters a utility closet.
Essence: The woman has something to do in the utility closet.
Conflict: She is in an awful hurry to do whatever she’s trying to do.
Subtext: She seems to be in a trance, like she’s being controlled by someone.
Hope/ Fear: We hope she just forgot to do her makeup. We fear she’s up to no good.
INT. THE UTILITY CLOSET – DAY
The woman enters, takes out a bomb, and hides it behind some cleaning supplies. The bomb’s timer has five minutes remaining.
Essence: The woman is there to set off a bomb.
Conflict: There are innocent people who will be killed.
Subtext: No one knows the bomb is there.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will find the bomb in time. We fear it will go off.
EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The woman exits the building. A massive explosion rocks the building at the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. The woman’s face shimmers. A mask falls off her face. She looks different than she did when she was wearing the mask. She looks around, bewildered. She looks up at the carnage from the explosion and runs off.
Essence: The woman bombed the building against her will.
Conflict: The bomb went off, and people died.
Subtext: Who is the person behind the bombing.
Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught quickly. We fear it will be the start of a series of bombings.
EXT. A HOUSE IN AN UPPER MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Essence: This is showing where a character lives.
Conflict: N/A
Subtext: Who lives there?
Hope/Fear: N/A
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Rick plays his guitar, lost in thought.
Essence: This is what Rick is up to these days.
Conflict: Rick battles his inner demons.
Subtext: Rick has given up on life.
Hope/Fear: We hope he hasn’t given up on life. We fear he has.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
STEPHANIE O’BRIEN (40’s) Rick’s wife, fixes breakfast. SAMMY (pre-teen) and JENNIFER (pre-teen) their two kids, argue at the table, but she’s oblivious to it. The doorbell rings.
Essence: Stephanie goes through the motions of her morning routine.
Conflict: She’s fighting against the hurt from her husband being absent at home.
Subtext: Their marriage is on the rocks.
Hope/Fear: We hope she and Rick are just going through a phase. We fear their marriage is over.
INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY
Stephanie opens the door, and SPECIAL AGENT RYAN STEVENS (50’s) stands there. He ask if he can come in and talk to Rick.
Essence Rick’s boss want to talk to him.
Conflict: Rick likely doesn’t want to talk to him.
Subtext: It’s not a good time for Rick’s boss to be there.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s boos has a new assignment for him. We fear Rick is going to be fired.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Rick’s boss says he wants him to check out a crime scene, as he’s the resident expert on bombings. Rick reluctantly agrees.
Essence: Rick’s expertise is needed.
Conflict: He doesn’t feel like doing anything.
Subtext: Rick is finished with being an FBI agent.
Hope/Fear: We hope this will help Rick snap out of it. We fear it will only add to his depression.
EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Rick arrives at the scene of the bombing. He’s introduced to his new partner, Sean Gray.
INT. A SKYSCRAPER – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
Rick and Sean investigate the blast site. Three quarters of the floor is gone, replaced with a gaping chasm with the view of the city below. Rick struggles with being up there, as he hates heights.
Essence: Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the bombing.
Conflict: Rick hates heights, but he has to do his job.
Subtext: This is the work of a criminal mastermind.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will find clues to help them catch the bomber. We fear it won’t help them at all.
EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
As Rick and Sean wrap things up, Sean notices a mask lying on the ground and takes it with him.
Essence: Rick and Sean complete their investigation.
Conflict: There’s a mask in the parking lot.
Subtext: Who designed the mask, and what’s his end game?
Hope/Fear: We hope the mask will be another cluse to help find the bomber. We fear it’ll be no help at all.
EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
A MAN (60’s) walks swiftly toward the entrance of the building. He has a blank look on his face and carries a briefcase.
Essence: A man is on his way to the building.
Conflict: He’s late for something.
Subtext: It looks like he’s being controlled by someone.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will be wise to him and ask what he’s doing. We fear he’s going to set off another bomb.
INT. A BATHROOM – DAY
The man sets the briefcase on the counter and walks out.
Essence: The man plants the bomb.
Conflict: People are going to die.
Subtext: No one knows that the briefcase has a bomb in it.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.
EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The man exits the building.
Essence: The man has successfully planted the bomb.
Conflict: People are in mortal danger.
Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.
INT. A BATHROOM – DAY
Men wash their hands at the sink. The unattended briefcase sits there at the counter. The bomb explodes.
Essence: The bomb is sitting there, waiting to go off.
Conflict: People are in mortal danger.
Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.
EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The man’s face shimmers, and a mask falls off his face, revealing a different looking person. The man looks up at the devastation above and runs off.
Essence: The man was being controlled by someone else.
Conflict: Innocent people have been killed.
Subtext: Who’s behind all this?
Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught. We fear there will be more attacks.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Rick enters, She and Rick argue about when he’s going to join the family again and stop distancing himself from them. The doorbell rings.
Essence: Rick and Stephanie argue about how he’s handling his depression.
Conflict: Stephanie wants Rick to be more involved in their family’s lives, Rick wants to keep them at arm’s length.
Subtext: Rick’s demons continue to haunt him.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Stephanie’s family stays intact. We fear they won’t.
INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY
Stephanie answers the door. It’s Special Agent Stevens again. He tells Rick he’s been reactivated as now they’re dealing with a serial bomber.
Essence: Rick is dragged back into service.
Conflict: It’s the last thing he wants to do.
Subtext: Rick doesn’t want to fail again.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch the bomber. We fear he won’t.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick arrives at the office and catches up on the details of the case. Special Agent Sean Gray shows Rick how the mask they found at the scene of the bombing is designed to control the mind of the person who wears it. He puts it on to demonstrate. His face changes and he starts walking out of the room. It takes Rick and two additional agents to remove it.
Essence: The bomber is using masks to control innocent people in order to plant the bombs.
Conflict: How to tell who’s wearing a mask and who isn’t?
Subtext: A whole city is walking around not knowing that any one of them could be an unwilling accomplice for the bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught sooner than later. We fear it will be near impossible to find him.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick looks through the FBI database and finds a recently paroled convict named Jonathan Rogers that has the skill set needed to pull off the bombings, as well as a past record of bombing buildings for insurance fraud.
Essence: Rick and Sean have a possible suspect.
Conflict: Their suspect isn’t going to appreciate being visited by the FBI.
Subtext: Jonathan could be the bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan turns out to be the bomber. We fear he won’t be.
EXT. JONATHAN ROGERS’ APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean knock on Jonthan’s door. He reluctantly lets them in.
Essence: Rick and Sean are there to question a suspect.
Conflict: Jonathan isn’t real keen to talk to them.
Subtext: What is Jonathan hiding?
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.
INT. JONATHAN ROGER’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean question Jonathan on his whereabouts on the days of the bombings. He says he wasn’t anywhere near either site on the days in question.
Essence: Rick and Sean are trying to get to the bottom of the case.
Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t seem to be their man.
Subtext: Jonathan could still be the bomber, and Rick and Sean just haven’t proved it yet.
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear that Rick and Sean won’t be able to prove it.
INT. A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the second bombing. They find the same residue they found at the first site, and another mask in the parking lot of the building. Rick remembers that Jonathan used the same materials for his bombs.
Essence: Rick and Jonathan gather more evidence.
Conflict: The evidence points to Jonathan even though he maintains his innocence.
Subtext: Is Jonathan really the bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope this new evidence will give Rick and Sean what they need to prove Jonathan is the bomber, We fear they’re going after the wrong guy.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick and Sean access the Post Office records and find that Jonathan sent two packages to two different people on the very days the bombings occurred.
Essence: Rick and Jonathan continue to build their case against Jonathan.
Conflict: N/A
Subtext: The bomber might not be Jonathan.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean are getting closer to apprehending Jonathan. We fear Jonathan could be the wrong guy.
EXT. TWO DIFFERENT HOUSES – DAY
Rick and Sean visit with both of the recipients on Jonathan’s packages, and they are in fact the same two people that unwittingly planted the bombs in the building that were attacked.
Essence: Rick and Sean are connecting the dots in order apprehend Jonathan for the bombings.
Conflict: Two innocent people were forced to carry out an atrocious crime against their will.
Subtext: Who really is the bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope that Rick and Sean have all the ducks in a row so they can bring Jonathan to justice. We fear they’re after the wrong guy.
EXT. JONTHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean knock on Jonathan’s door and show him their search warrant. Jonathan lets them in.
Essence: Rick and Sean are ready to apprehend Jonathan.
Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want them to come in.
Subtext: There’s a very good chance that Jonathan is the bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.
INT. JONATHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean return to Jonathan’s apartment with a warrant. They find explosive materials and electronics. Jonathan runs out the back door.
Essence: Rick and Sean have found their man.
Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want to get caught and runs.
Subtext: There’s a moment when we’re not sure if Jonathan is the bomber or not.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will catch Jonathan. We fear he’ll get away.
EXT. THE ALLEY BEHIND JONATHAN’S APARTMENT – DAY
Rick and Sean give chase. At a certain point, Jonathan comes out from around a corner and aims a gun at Sean. Rick draws his pistol and shoots Jonathan just in time, saving Sean’s life.
Essence: Jonathan is the bomber.
Conflict: Rick and Sean want to arrest Jonathan, and he doesn’t want to go to jail.
Subtext: What if they’re going after the wrong guy?
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean finally caught the bomber. We fear he’s still on the loose.
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – DAY
Rick comes home and opens up to Stephanie for the first time in a long while. He tells her he wants things to be different between them and with the kids. She accepts his offer gratefully. He then asks if they can have Sean over for dinner, as he’s single and usually eats frozen dinners. She agrees to have him over.
Essence: Rick is trying to make amends to his wife and their kids.
Conflict: Stephanie is a bit guarded when Rick first talks to her.
Subtext: Will Rick keep up his newly determined devotion to his family?
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick is a changed man. We fear it won’t last.
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM NIGHT
Sean arrives for dinner with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in tow.
Essence: Rick and Sean are getting to be good friends as well as being partners.
Conflict: N/A
Subtext: We had no idea Sean could make cookies. What else don’t we know about him?
Hope/Fear: We hope that reaching out to Sean will help Rick and Stephanie’s marriage and his relationship with his kids. We fear that it’ll make things more stressful for them.
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT
During dinner, Sean reveals his parents were killed in 9/11, which is why he became an FBI agent.
Essence: Sean is bonding with Rick and his family.
Conflict: It makes dinner a slightly tense affair learning about Sean’s parents.
Subtext: What else don’t we know about Sean? Could he be dangerous?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will continue to bond with Rick and his family. We fear it may not last if Sean is hiding much darker things about himself.
EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
A GIRL (teens) rushes into the building with a handbag slung over her shoulder. There’s a blank look on her face.
Essence: A girl heads into a building.
Conflict: She’s in a hurry.
Subtext: We’ve seen this before. Did Rick and Sean catch the bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope this isn’t another bomb about to go off. We fear that’s exactly what it is.
INT. BREAK ROOM – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
The girl leaves her handbag on one of the tables and leaves. No one notices her.
Essence: The girl plants the bomb.
Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.
Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.
EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
The girl exits the building.
Essence: The girl planted the bomb without it being discovered.
Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.
Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.
INT. THE HALLWAY NEAR THE BREAK ROOM – 25<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – DAY
One second everything is business as usual. Then there’s a blinding flash, and fire engulfs the hallway.
Essence: The bomber has struck again.
Conflict: Innocent people have died.
Subtext: Who is behind this latest attack?
Hope/Fear: We hope the real bomber will be caught soon. We fear his reign of terror will continue.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick and Sean and a couple of other agents socialize. Agent Stevens, their boss, bursts into the room, and has them turn on the TV, which shows the aftermath of the latest bombing. Rick and Sean get a package addressed to them.
They find a flash drive inside, and it has a video message from the real bomber, telling them he set-up Jonathan just for fun, and that he already had five more people plant bombs just today, which will go off may minute. Rick, Sean and all of the other agents get on the phone and start alerting the heads of local law enforcement.
Essence: Rick and Sean caught the wrong man.
Conflict: The real bomber is still at large.
Subtext: Who is the real bomber?
Hope/Fear: We hope law enforcement can find the bombs before they go off. We fear they won’t find them in time.
EXT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS THROUGHOUT THE CITY – DAY
Montage of five different buildings and people from all walks of life with blank looks walking out the front entrance. Suddenly all five bombs go off.
Essence: The bomber strikes with a vengeance.
Conflict: Buildings are hit all over the city, and a whole bunch of people have died.
Subtext: Who is the real bomber.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean and the rest of the city’s law enforcement can finally catch the bomber. We fear there will be no end to the attacks.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY
Rick turns in his badge.
Essence: Rick is defeated.
Conflict: Rick wants to resign. Agent Stevens tries to get him to reconsider.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will reconsider. We fear it’s too late.
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – NIGHT
Rick shuffles in. He tells Stephanie about the latest wave of attacks, and how he resigned from the bureau. She tells him he needs to see it through and find the bomber or he’ll never be at peace.
Essence: Rick gives up.
Conflict: Rick wants to quit. His wife tells him he can’t.
Subtext: There’s a bomber still at large.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick won’t give up. We fear he already has.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY
Rick asks Agent Stevens for his badge back. Agent Stevens gives it to him and says he hadn’t even processed the paperwork. Rick tells Agent Stevens he thinks the bomber might be one of their own and wants to run background checks on everyone in the office, as well as all local law enforcement. Agent Stevens gives him the go ahead.
Essence: Rick’s back.
Conflict: Rick’s looking for the bomber in their own ranks.
Subtext: It could very be someone in law enforcement.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s right and he finds the bomber. We hope he’s wrong and that it’s not one of their agents.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick starts running background checks on all of the people working in the office, along with running their fingerprints from coffee cups, soda cans etc. He stops dead in his tracks as he look at one result in particular. He pulls Sean aside and says he needs to talk with him.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY
Rick tells Sean he ran his fingerprints, and a 56 year-old agent named Robert Davis pulled up. Sean then tells him how after his parents died, he lived with an Aunt and Uncle that didn’t have much time for him, and he wasn’t popular in school. So he spent all his time reading and discovered he had a talent for mathematics and engineering. He started developing the masks he sent to his “helpers” who planted all the bombs when he was still in high school. He wanted to leave home as soon as he graduated, so he enlisted in the military and worked in demolition. After he was discharged, Sean started hatching a plan on how to help the FBI get some real world practice with preventing terrorist attacks, since they botched 9/11 and his parents died along with so many others. So once he perfected the masks, he hacked into the FBI’s mainframe and kept checking when there was a vacancy in one of the offices. When one came up at their office, he stole Agent Davis’s identity, and transferred in. Rick asks Sean how he can live with killing so many people. Sean says it’s worth it if many more people get saved in the long run, as the FBI would eventually figure out how to stop the attacks. And he has another group of helpers ready to plant more bombs as soon as they get the go ahead. Rick tells Sean he can make it easy on himself and come quietly, or they can do it the hard way. Sean agrees to come quietly. Just as Rick goes to snap on the cuffs, Sean overpowers him and pins him to the floor. He tells Rick he won’t kill him since he saved his life, but his wife won’t be so lucky. Sean knocks Rick unconscious and leaves.
Essence: Sean is the bomber
Conflict: Rick tries arrest Sean. Sean escapes.
Subtext: When will the next wave of bombers strike?
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will come to in time and stop Sean. We fear Sean will escape and successfully carry out a whole new wave of bombings.
INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY
Sean enters and heads for the door. Someone asks him if he’s seen Rick and replied he hasn’t.
Essence: Sean is trying to flee.
Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
INT. FBI OFFICE – PARKING GARAGE – DAY
Sean gets in his car and makes his way to the exit.
Essence: Sean is trying to flee.
Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY
Rick comes to. He calls the security guard at the entrance to the parking lot.
Essence: Sean is trying to flee.
Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
EXT. FBI OFFICE – GUARD BOOTH – DAY
The SECURITY GUARD (20’s) picks up the phone just as Sean is exits the building.
Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.
Conflict: Rick was trying to stop him. Sean got away.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
INT/EXT. SEAN’S CAR – DAY
Sean takes out his phone and pulls up an app. His scrolls through it and pushes a number of buttons.
Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.
Conflict: Sean is about to start a whole new wave of bombings.
Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?
Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.
INT. VARIOUS HOMES – DAY
People get into their cars carrying backpacks, handbags, etc., each of which has a bomb in to with a times counting down.
Essence: A new wave of bombings is about to start.
Conflict: Lots more people could die.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope the attacks will be stopped. We fear they won’t.
EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY
Sean pulls up carrying a package. He sets it down next to the front door and rings the bell. Stephanie answers, and Sean says he came by to pick up the plate he brought the cookies with the other night at dinner. Stephanie goes to get it and returns. Sean points out the “package” on the porch, and Stephanie takes it. Sean leaves.
Essence: Sean is about to make Stephanie wife one of his “helpers.”
Conflict: Stephanie’s actions are going to kill innocent people.
Subtext: Stephanie has no idea what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will get to the house in time. We fear he won’t.
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Stephanie opens the package and pulls out the mask. She hold it up, and suddenly a light shines in her eyes, and a voice tells her to put it on. She does, and her face changes into someone else. The voice tells her to take out the other package and open it. It’s a bomb with a timer counting down. The voice tells Stephanie to get in her car and drive downtown.
Essence: Stephanie is now one of Sean’s helpers.
Conflict: She will unknowingly kill innocent people.
Subtext: She has no idea what’s happening, as she’s being controlled against her will.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Stephanie before she plants the bomb. We fear he won’t.
INT. FBI OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY
Rick comes to and tells all of the agents that Sean is the bomber and is about to set off a whole new wave of attacks. They all head out.
Essence: Rick is going to try and rescue his wife, and the rest of the FBI are on the hunt for Sean.
Conflict: They’re trying to stop him before he kills a bunch more people.
Subtext: Sean is using people who have no idea what’s going on to carry out his plans.
Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean, and that Rick will rescue his wife in time. We fear they won’t.
EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY
Rick pulls up and runs to the front door.
Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife
Conflict: Stepanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.
Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.
INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY
Rick bursts into the house. Stephanie is nowhere to be found.
Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife
Conflict: Stepanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.
Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.
INT./EXT. VARIOUS CARS – DAY
A number of people all with blank expressions and with a bomb in tow drive to their respective destinations where they’ll plant a bomb.
Essence: Sean is employing a new group of helpers to carry out his plans.
Conflict: People will die in droves if everyone successfully plants their bombs.
Subtext: No one them realize what they’re doing.
Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will find a way to stop them all in time. We fear they won’t.
INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY
Two agents spot Sean driving past them. They call Rick and tell him they’ve found him and go to lights and sirens.
Essence: The FBI is hot on Sean’s tail.
Conflict: They’re trying to catch Sean, and he’s trying to escape.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean in time. We fear they won’t.
INT./EXT. STEPHANIE’S CAR – DAY
Stephanie drives toward downtown. She looks like someone else, as the mask has changed her appearance and her eyes are blank.
Essence: Stephanie is on her way to carry out Sean’s plans.
Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she successfully plants the bomb.
Subtext: Stephanie had no idea what’s happening.
Hope/Fear: We hope Stephanie will be stopped before it’s too late. We fear she won’t be.
INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY
The agents that spotted Sean continue to give chase, and eventually run him off the road at the entrance to a mall. Sean bursts out of his car, guns blazing. The agents return fire, but Sean shoots them both and runs into the mall. Rick pulls up shortly. The agents are wounded but they’ll survive. Rick runs into the mall.
Essence: Sean is now on foot.
Conflict: He still controls the bombs’ timers with his phone.
Subtext: A number of innocent people are about to commit an atrocious crime without evening knowing what they’re doing.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch Sean in time before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t.
EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Stephanie approaches the building and enters.
Essence: Stephanie is about to plant the her bomb.
Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she’s successful.
Subtext: She’s an innocent pawn in it all.
Hope/Fear: We hope someone can stop her in time. We fear no one will.
INT. THE MALL – DAY
Rick spies Sean and runs after him. Sean races toward the stairs and fires at Rick as he does. Shoppers duck for cover.
Essence: Rick is trying to stop Sean before the bombs go off.
Conflict: Rick wants to stop Sean, and Sean wants his plan to succeed.
INT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY
Stephanie gets on an elevator.
Essence: Stephanie is on her way to plant the bomb.
Conflict: People will die if she pulls it off.
Subtext: No one in the building suspects what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Stepanie will be stopped somehow. We fear she won’t be.
EXT. A MALL – THE ROOF – DAY
Sean bursts out of a door and onto the roof. He looks back and sees Rick in hot pursuit. Sean starts shooting at Rick, who finds cover and fires back.
INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY
Each person being controlled by Sean plants their bomb at the building they’ve been instructed to go to. Stephanie does as well in a supply closet. But as she goes to leave, the voice in her mask tells her to remain. She takes out her phone, and scrolls through her Facebook app. All of the others leave their respective buildings and head to the front entrance.
Essence: Sean’s plan is nearly complete.
Conflict: Many peoples’ lives are at stake.
Subtext: No one including the people that planted the bombs are aware of what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Sean before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t be able to.
EXT. A MALL – THE ROOF – DAY
Rick and Sean continue their shootout. Rick wounds Sean but he keeps firing. Rick shoots Sean a few more times and Sean falls off the building to his death.
Rick sees Sean’s phone on a walkway along the side of the building about eight feet down. He hangs down over the side and drops to the walkway.
INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY
The timer on each bomb has ten seconds.
Essence: The bombs are about to go off.
Conflict: A lot of people are about to die.
Subtext: No one suspects what’s about to happen.
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can still disarm the bombs’ timers. We fear it’s too late.
EXT. A MALL – THE WALKWAY – DAY
Rick grabs Sean’s phone and sees the app with the time ticking down. It reads three seconds. Rick pushes the stop button for each timer. It says one second.
Essence: Rick saves the day.
Conflict: Sean almost bombed a whole new bunch of buildings.
Subtext: Only Rick knows what he just prevented.
Hope/Fear: We hoped we would save the day. We have no need to fear since he did.
INT. VARIOUS BUIDLINGS – DAY
The masks on the faces of each of Sean’s helpers shimmer, revealing their true identity. They all look around like a deer in headlights, unaware of how they got there.Essence: The nightmare is over
Conflict: Each of Sean’s helpers can’t figure out why they’re in the place they’re in.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hoped Rick would save the city. We have no need to fear now that he did.
INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY
Rick is presented with the bureau’s highest award. As everyone applauds, Agent Steves tells him he’s ready to retire and is recommending him to become the new supervising agent for their field office.
Essence: Rick saved the day and found his purpose as an agent once again.
Conflict: His inner conflict is resolved.
Subtext: N/A
Hope/Fear: We hope Rick would save the day. There’s no need to fear now that he did.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to constantly engage the audience by creating intriguing moments throughout the screenplay.
Act 1:
Mystery: Special Agent Rick O’Brien is in charge of a hostage situation. The hostage and his partner are killed, and the kidnapper escapes.
Intrigue/Cover Up: A woman plants a bomb in a building and leaves. It goes off just as she walks outside. Her face shimmers, and a mask falls to the ground. The woman, whose face looks different from the mask she was wearing, runs off in terror.
Mystery: Rick and his new partner, Sean Gray, investigate the bomb site. They find residue from the bomb, and the mask the woman left behind.
Intrigue/ Cover Up: A second terrorist attack occurs at an office building in a different part of town. This time a 60 year-old man plants the bomb. He emerges just as the woman did, and his face shimmers and a mask falls to the ground.
Act 2:
Intrigue: Back at the Field Office, Sean analyzes the mask they found at the first crime scene, and discovers it controls the mind of the subject who puts it on. He demonstrates, and it takes two agents to remove it from his face.
Secret: Rick and Sean investigate a lead on a possible suspect. They track his activities and find evidence that proves he’s the bomber.
Act 3:
Intrigue: Rick has Sean over for dinner to meet his family, and Sean reveals his parents were killed in the 9/11 attacks, which is why he became an FBI agent.
Intrigue/Cover Up: Three weeks later, another bombing occurs, with an innocent perpetrator carrying it out.
Scheme: Rick and Sean receive a flash drive at the office. It has a video with the bomber in it, who tells them they caught the wrong person, that he set him up to show them how incompetent the FBI is, and that there will be more bombings in the near future.
Intrigue/Cover Up: Five more buildings are bombed, just the like the other two.
Act 4:
Mystery: Rick runs fingerprint and background checks on all of the people working at the field office, as he suspects the bomber could be one of their own.
Hidden Identity: Rick discovers that Sean is the bomber.
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Paul Dees’ Emotional Moments
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned about doing this assignment is how to add emotional weight to a screenplay by portraying situations characters go through to portray a wide variety of emotions for an audience to feel throughout the story.
Act 1:
Surprise: Rick negotiates with a kidnapper who is holding someone hostage. At first, it appears the kidnapper is going to agree to a peaceful surrender, but then turns around and kills the hostage and escapes.
Wound: Six months later, Rick does little more than hide in his room, as he is emotionally shattered from losing the hostage.
Excitement: Two different buildings are bombed by people wearing masks that control their actions until after the deed is done, after which they shimmer and fall of their faces, leaving the bombers completely unaware of what just happened.
Courage/Distress: Special Agent Rick O’Brien and his partner Sean Gray, investigate the bombings. Rick has to steel himself to go to the bomb sites, as they both are located at what’s left of the 25<sup>th</sup> floor of each building, and he has a paralyzing fear of heights.
Act 2:
Excitement: Sean discovers the masks they found at each bombing, is designed to control the mind of the individual who puts it on. He demonstrates this by putting on the mask, and it takes two agents to take it off.
Success/Winning: Rick and Sean follow the trail of the bomber and track him down.
Excitement/Surprise: Rick and Sean confront the bomber at his home. The bomber pulls out a gun and aims it at Sean.
Courage: Rick shoots the bomber just in time saving Sean’s life in the process.
Bonding: Sean expresses his thanks to Rick for saving his life.
Act 3:
Bonding: Rick invites Sean to dinner to meet his wife and their children.
Wound: While Sean gets to know Rick’s family, he reveals that his parents were killed in 9/11, which is why he became an FBI agent.
Surprise: Another building is town is bombed, in the same manner the other two were. At the field office, Rick and Sean open a package addressed to them. It contains a flash drive with a video from someone with a disguised voice who says they clearly caught the wrong guy, since Jonathan’s dead, and there’s been another bombing. The bomber then says he doctored the Post Office records and planted the explosive materials they found in Jonathan’s apartment, to set him up and to prove how inept the FBI really is. He then tells them they’ll have to do better than that to catch him, and that there will be a whole new wave of attacks coming.
Distress: Rick and Sean brief all of the heads of local law enforcement about the new threat, in hopes of finding the bomber before the next attacks. Five more building are bombed, each one involving an innocent perpetrator who is released from their task once their mask falls off their faces. The city is in chaos.
Moral Issue: Rick turns in his badge, despite the fact that the bomber is still at large, feeling like he’s done more harm than good, even though he’s the reigning expert on these types of scenarios.
Wound: Rick opens up to his wife about what happened on the night the hostage was killed, and why he hoped his being assigned to catch the bomber would give him a chance at redemption, but now he blew that too.
Love: Rick’s wife encourages him to reconsider resigning from the bureau, and that he’ll never feel at peace unless he sees the case through.
Courage: Rick asks his boss for his badge back.
Act 4:
Success/Winning: Rick starts to suspect that the bomber may be one of their own, and he starts running background and fingerprint checks on all of the agents in the office, unbeknownst to them. He makes progress, eliminating each agent as a suspect until…
Surprise: Rick discovers that Sean is the bomber.
Excitement: Sean escapes from the office and activates the masks and the bombs to the people he sent them to. He also stops by Rick’s house and gives her a package that unbeknownst to her contains a mask and a bomb.
Distress: Rick races to his house and finds his wife is not at home.
Excitement: A pair of agents spot Sean and call Rick. Meanwhile, Rick’s wife and the others Sean sent packages to, arrive at their assigned buildings, and go inside to plant their bombs. Rick and Sean fight, and Rick overpowers him, He grabs Seans phone, and deactivates the bombs using the app that was controlling them.
Success/Winning: Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom Medal by the President and is promoted to field office supervisor.
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Paul Dees’ Reveals
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to setup a pattern of set and reveal to articulate the beats of a screenplay.
Act 1:
Setup: Special Agent Rick O’Brien is in charge of a hostage situation. The hostage is killed, and the kidnapper escapes.
Reveal: Six months later, Rick is on an extended leave of absence and a shell of a man, trying to keep himself together.
Setup: A woman plants a bomb in a building and leaves. It goes off just as she walks outside. Her face shimmers, and a mask falls to the ground. The woman, whose face looks different from the mask she was wearing, runs off in terror.
Reveal: Rick is contacted by his boss and tells him his expertise is needed at a crime scene. He reluctantly agrees and investigates the scene with Special Agent Sean Gray. There, Sean finds the mask the woman left behind.
Setup: A second terrorist attack occurs at an office building in a different part of town. This time a 60 year-old man plants the bomb. He emerges just as the woman did, and his face shimmers and a mask falls to the ground.
Reveal: Rick’s boss reactivates him, as they’re now dealing with a serial terrorist.
Act 2:
Setup: Back at the Field Office, Sean analyzes the mask they found at the first crime scene, and discovers it controls the mind of the subject who puts it on. He demonstrates, and it takes two agents to remove it from his face.
Reveal: Rick looks through the FBI database and finds a possible suspect named Jonathan Rogers with a background in demolition and biomedical technology, that was convicted of blowing up buildings for people wanting to collect the insurance on them, and recently paroled.
Setup: Rick and Sean visit Jonathan but can’t prove he has anything to do with the current bombings.
Reveal: Rick and Sean travel to the second crime scene, and they notice the residue from the bomb is exactly the same as the residue from the bombs Jonathan Rogers used.
Setup: Rick and Sean search the Post Office database to see if Jonathan delivered any packages on the days the bombings occurred.
Reveal: The Post Office shows a package sent by Jonathan arrived at a woman’s house the day of the first bombing, and to a man’s house the day of the second bombing.
Setup: Rick and Sean visit the homes of both people that received a package from Jonathan, and they’re the ones who planted the bombs against their will.
Reveal: Rick and Sean search Jonathan’s house and find explosive materials. Jonathan pulls out a gun and points it at Sean. Rick fires in retaliation just in time, killing Jonathan and saving Sean.
Act 3:
Setup: Rick invites Sean to have dinner with his family.
Reveal: Sean and Rick’s family bond, and he shares how his family was killed in 9/11, which inspired him to be an FBI agent.
Setup: Three weeks later, another building in town is bombed in the same manner as the other two. This time, an 18 year-old girl is the innocent perpetrator.
Reveal: At the field office, Rick and Sean open a package addressed to them. It contains a flash drive with a video from someone with a disguised voice who says they clearly caught the wrong guy, since Jonathan’s dead, and there’s been another bombing. The bomber then says he doctored the Post Office records and planted the explosive materials they found in Jonathan’s apartment, to set him up and to prove how inept the FBI really is. He then tells them they’ll have to do better than that to catch him, and that there will be a whole new wave of attacks coming.
Setup: Rick and Sean brief all of the heads of local law enforcement about the new threat, in hopes of finding the bomber before the next attacks.
Reveal: Five more building are bombed, each one involving an innocent perpetrator who is released from their task once their mask falls off their faces. The city is in chaos.
Setup: Rick and Sean are devastated, and Rick turns in his badge.
Reveal: Rick finally opens up to his wife about the night the hostage he was trying to protect was killed, and how it destroyed his confidence, and how he felt he was getting a second chance by being assigned to find the bomber, but that he bungled that too. His wife tells him he’s got to see it through, or he’ll never be at peace.
Setup: Rick asks his boss for his badge back.
Reveal: His boss tells him didn’t process the paperwork for his resignation and gives him his badge.
Act 4:
Setup: Rick starts to suspect that the bomber may be one of their own, and he starts running background and fingerprint checks on all of the agents in the office, unbeknownst to them.
Reveal: Rick pulls Sean aside at the office, and tells him when he looked up his name on the FBI database, it pulled up a 56 year-old special agent named Robert Daivs stationed in Los Angeles. Furthermore, he got Sean’s fingerprints off of the coffee mug he drank from the day before, and pulled up one Lester Thomas, a felon with a long history of computer fraud, that was granted parole two years ago. Additionally, it showed he served in the military and worked in demolition, and then earned a degree in biomedical engineering before he went to prison. Sean tells Rick he blames the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security for failing the death of his parents on 9/11. So he stole agent Davis’s identity to cover his tracks, and then he decided to give the FBI some more hands-on practice at stopping terrorist attacks, as opposed to them just going through the motions with some pre-planned exercise. He goes on to say that even though people have died from his scenarios, many more people will be saved once the FBI is able to spot and prevent them from happening. Rick tries to arrest Sean, they fight, and Sean gains the upper hand. He tells Rick normally he’d just kill him, but since he saved his life earlier in the case, he’ll let him live. His wife though won’t be so fortunate.
Setup: Sean knocks Rick out and activates all of the masks and timers on the bombs he sent his new group of helpers.
Reveal: Sean stops off at Rick’s house, carrying a package. He puts it on the doorstep, and then rings the doorbell. Rick’s wife comes to the door, and she and Sean talk for a moment. Sean points out the package on the doorstep, and she takes it inside. Sean drives away. Rick’s wife opens the package and pulls out a mask. A light shines in her eyes, and an audible voice tells her to put it on. She complies, and her face changes so that she looks like someone else. The voice then instructs her to pull a bomb out of the package and to head to a downtown, where she’ll receive further instructions. Rick’s wife puts the bomb in her purse, the timer activates, and she drives away. Sean’s other helpers all get in their cars with bombs in tow, their timers counting down.
Setup: Rick puts all agents on the lookout for Sean, as he jumps in his car and drives off.
Reveal: Rick pulls up to his house and runs inside. His wife is nowhere to be found.
Setup: Sean is spotted by a pair of agents, and they call Rick, who runs to his car and joins in the chase. Meanwhile, Rick’s wife gets to the building her mask has instructed her to go to, and she goes inside. Sean is run off the road, by the other agents in front of a mall. He gets out of his car and a gunfight ensues, and Sean ends up shooting both agents, and runs in to the mall.
Reveal: Rick pulls up and checks on the agents, who are both wounded, but alive. They tell Rick where Sean ran off to, and Rick runs into the mall. He finds Sean and pursues him on foot. Rick’s wife takes an elevator to the 25<sup>th</sup> floor.
Setup: Sean makes his way to the roof of the mall, with Rick close behind. Rick’s wife plants the bomb in a utility closet. The timer has only five minutes left before it goes off. The voice coming from her mask tells her to remain of the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. She stands in the hallway and looks at her phone. Sean’s other helpers he’s sent his packages to plant their bombs as well, the timers on each of them have just minutes left.
Reveal: Rick and Sean fight and Rick overpowers him. Sean pulls out his phone and then throws it over the side of the building. Rick knocks Sean unconscious and goes over to the edge. The phone is on a walkway about eight feet down. Rick drops down to the walkway and picks it up. But just as he goes to open up the app to stop the timers on the bombs, Sean grabs his wrist, and they struggle. There’s only 20 seconds left on each bomb’s timer. Rick gets the upper hand, throws Sean off the walkway, and he plunges to his death. There’s five seconds left on the timer.
Rick opens the app that will stop the bombs’ timers, and they all stop with one second left. The masks on each of Sean’s helpers including Rick’s wife, start shimmering and fall off, revealing their true identities, and they all stand where they’re at, without any recollection of what happened. The nightmare is over, and the country is safe once more. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom medal by the President of the United States and is promoted to field office supervisor.
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Paul Dees’ Character Action Tracks
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from this assignment is how to put together a beat sheet based on an initial structure, character journeys, story layers and genre conventions.
Genre: Action/Thriller
ACT 1: Terrorist Attacks Start to Occur
Rick PJ 1: Special Agent Rick O’Brien and his partner try to rescue a hostage, and both the hostage and his partner are killed
Rick PJ 2: Six months later, Rick is at home, sequestered away from his family.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick blames himself for what happened and is battling soul crushing depression.
INCITING INCIDENT: A woman plants a bomb in a skyscraper. He face shimmers after the bomb goes off, and mask falls to the ground. She runs off, with no memory of what she just did. Rick is summoned by his boss to investigate the incident, along with Special Agent Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 1: Sean prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, where his image is blurred, and he states in a disguised voice why the bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.
Rick PJ 3: Rick investigates the crime scene. He finds evidence of what type of bomb was used.
Sean AJ 2: Sean investigates the crime scene along with Rick. He finds the mask on the street, where it fell off the woman’s face.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has no idea that he’s working alongside the man who caused the explosion.
Sean AJ 3: Sean thanks Rick for his help and wishes him well.
Rick PJ 4: Rick goes home and starts to open up a bit to his family.
TURNING POINT 1: Two more attacks much like the first one occur. Rick’s boss reactivates him as now they’re dealing with a serial terrorist.
ACT 2:
Rick and Sean go after the mastermind behind the bombings.
Rick PJ 4: Rick arrives at the field office to see what leads there are if any. He is once again assigned to partner up with Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 4: Sean sends a second video message to the FBI that he and Rick watch, in which he gloats over the bombings, and states that there will be even more coming, and in greater numbers.
Sean AJ 5: Sean analyzes the mask he found at the first crime scene and discovers that it can control the mind of the person who wears it.
DEEPER LAYER: No one but Sean knows that he’s covering his tracks by being the one to “figure out” how the mask works.
Rick PJ 5: Rick finds more evidence of the same type of bomb that was used in the previous attack.
Sean AJ 6: Sean is invaluable in helping figure out how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, which Rick finds, and it helps build a case against the wrong man.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Rick and Sean tie the bombings to a former terrorist who used similar materials for his bombs. He shoots at Sean when they go to arrest him, and Rick pushes him out of the way just in time, saving his life in the process. The bombings cease for a time.
Rick PJ 6: Rick invites Sean to dinner with his family.
Sean AJ 7: Sean, who is single, accepts and brings dessert.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has saved the life of the man they’re trying to bring to justice and has also brought a wolf in sheep’s clothing to meet his family.
ACT 3:
Rick and Sean learn they caught the wrong man.
Sean AJ 8: Sean sends another video message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there will be a whole slew of bombings coming up, and that there’s nothing they can do to stop them.
Rick PJ 7: Rick alerts all FBI field offices to this latest threat.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick starts to spiral downhill emotionally, and withdraws back into his shell, as feelings of inadequacy and depression over their failed attempt to capture the terrorist threaten to overwhelm him.
TURNING POINT 3: Five more cities are bombed.
Rick PJ 7: Rick resigns from the FBI and goes home. He opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
Sean AJ 9: Sean is equally upset about the latest bombings and berates the bureau about not catching who’s behind them.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
ACT 4: Rick figures it out
Climax / Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Rick PJ 7: Rick starts running background checks on all of the agents in the office in the attempt to find out if the terrorist is one of their own.
Sean AJ 9: Rick pulls Sean aside at the office, and tells him when he looked up his name on the FBI database, it pulled up a 56 year-old special agent stationed in Los Angeles. Furthermore, he got Sean’s fingerprints off of the coffee mug he drank from the day before, and pulled up one Lester Thomas, a felon with a long history of computer fraud, that was granted parole two years ago. Additionally, it showed he served in the military and worked in demolition, and then earned a degree in biomedical engineering before he went to prison. Sean tells Rick his parents were victims of the 9/11 attacks, and he blames the FBI and the Department of Homeland Security for failing to connect the dots. So he decided to give the FBI some more hands-on practice at stopping terrorist attacks, as opposed to them just going through the motions with some pre-planned exercise. He goes on to say that even though people have died from his scenarios, many more people will be saved once the FBI is able to spot and prevent them from happening. Rick tries to arrest Sean, they fight, and Sean gains the upper hand. He tells Rick normally he’d just kill him, but since he saved his life earlier in the case, he’ll let him live. His wife though won’t be so fortunate. Sean knocks Rick out and activates all of the masks and timers on the bombs he sent his new group of helpers, and they all get in their cars with bombs in tow, their timers counting down.
Sean AJ 10: Sean stops off at Rick’s house, carrying a package. He puts it on the doorstep, and then rings the doorbell. Rick’s wife comes to the door, and she and Sean talk for a moment. Sean points out the package on the doorstep, and she takes it inside. Sean drives away. Rick’s wife opens the package and pulls out a mask. A light shines in her eyes, and an audible voice tells her to put it on. She complies, and her face changes so that she looks like someone else. The voice then instructs her to pull a bomb out of the package and to head to a downtown, where she’ll receive further instructions. Rick’s wife puts the bomb in her purse, the timer activates, and she drives away.
Resolution
Rick PJ 8: Rick puts all agents on the lookout for Sean, as he jumps in his car and drives off. Rick pulls up to his house and runs inside. His wife is nowhere to be found. Sean is spotted by a pair of agents, and they call Rick, who runs to his car and joins in the chase. Meanwhile, Rick’s wife gets to the building her mask has instructed her to go to, and she goes inside. Sean is run off the road, by the other agents in front of a mall. He gets out of his car and a gunfight ensues, and Sean ends up shooting both agents, and runs in to the mall. Rick pulls up and checks on the agents, who are both wounded, but alive. They tell Rick where Sean ran off to, and Rick runs into the mall. He finds Sean and pursues him on foot. Rick’s wife takes an elevator to the 25<sup>th</sup> floor.
Sean AJ 11: Sean makes his way to the roof of the mall, with Rick close behind. Rick’s wife plants the bomb in a utility closet. The timer has only five minutes left before it goes off. The voice coming from her mask tells her to remain of the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. She stands in the hallway and looks at her phone. Sean’s helpers in the other cities he’s sent his packages to plant their bombs as well, the timers on each of them have just minutes left.
Rick PJ 9: Rick and Sean fight and Rick overpowers him. Sean pulls out his phone and then throws it over the side of the building. Rick knocks Sean unconscious and goes over to the edge. The phone is on a walkway about eight feet down. Rick drops down to the walkway and picks it up. But just as he goes to open up the app to stop the timers on the bombs, Sean grabs his wrist, and they struggle. There’s only 20 seconds left on each bomb’s timer. Rick gets the upper hand, throws Sean off the walkway, and he plunges to his death. There’s five seconds left on the timer.
Rick opens the app that will stop the bombs’ timers, and they all stop with one second left. The masks on each of Sean’s helpers including Rick’s wife, start shimmering and fall off, revealing their true identities, and they all stand where they’re at, without any recollection of what happened. The nightmare is over, and the country is safe once more. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom medal by the President of the United States and is promoted to field office supervisor.
The Deeper layer
Surface Layer: Special Agent Rick
O’Brien and his new partner Sean Gray, are assigned to find and bring the
mastermind behind terrorist attacks occurring through the country to
justice.· Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that Sean Gray is the terrorist.
· Major Reveal: The big reveal is at the end of the story, when Rick figures out Sean is the one behind the terrorist attacks.
· Influences Surface Story: Sean helps Rick with their investigation on the surface, but in reality, he’s always leading them away just enough, to prevent Rick from connecting the dots back to him.
· Hints: Sean is always the first to investigate one of the bombing sites, due to them being up on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper, and Rick hates heights. This gives Sean ample time to plant or alter evidence so that it points away from him being the bomber.
· Changes Reality: When it’s revealed that Sean is the bomber, we the story shift from two dedicated FBI agents trying to bring a madman to justice, to it really being one agent trying to save lives while the bomber was working alongside him the whole time.
Genre Conventions: Thriller
Purpose: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and
suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.
Life and Death Situations: They face danger at every step — either
physically, emotionally, or mentally. The hero needs to either be in danger
or there is the implication of future danger.
Mystery/Intrigue/Suspense: There’s a mystery that must be solved in
order to survive. Intrigue is the underhanded and covert Villain’s plan.
Suspense comes from the danger the Hero faces.
Hero: Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero
Villain: Dangerous, devious, and unrelenting. Committed to destroy
anyone who gets in their way.
Main Emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation,
uncertainty, and surprise.
-
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from this assignment is how to put together a beat sheet based on an initial structure, character journeys, story layers and genre conventions.
Genre: Action/Thriller
ACT 1: Terrorist Attacks Start to Occur
Rick PJ 1: Special Agent Rick O’Brien and his partner try to rescue a hostage, and both the hostage and his partner are killed
Rick PJ 2: Six months later, Rick is at home, sequestered away from his family.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick blames himself for what happened and is battling soul crushing depression.
INCITING INCIDENT: A woman plants a bomb in a skyscraper. He face shimmers after the bomb goes off, and mask falls to the ground. She runs off, with no memory of what she just did. Rick is summoned by his boss to investigate the incident, along with Special Agent Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 1: Sean prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, where his image is blurred, and he states in a disguised voice why the bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.
Rick PJ 3: Rick investigates the crime scene. He finds evidence of what type of bomb was used.
Sean AJ 2: Sean investigates the crime scene along with Rick. He finds the mask on the street, where it fell off the woman’s face.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has no idea that he’s working alongside the man who caused the explosion.
Sean AJ 3: Sean thanks Rick for his help and wishes him well.
Rick PJ 4: Rick goes home and starts to open up a bit to his family.
TURNING POINT 1: Two more attacks much like the first one occur. Rick’s boss reactivates him as now they’re dealing with a serial terrorist.
ACT 2:
Rick and Sean go after the mastermind behind the bombings.
Rick PJ 4: Rick arrives at the field office to see what leads there are if any. He is once again assigned to partner up with Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 4: Sean sends a second video message to the FBI that he and Rick watch, in which he gloats over the bombings, and states that there will be even more coming, and in greater numbers.
Sean AJ 5: Sean analyzes the mask he found at the first crime scene and discovers that it can control the mind of the person who wears it.
DEEPER LAYER: No one but Sean knows that he’s covering his tracks by being the one to “figure out” how the mask works.
Rick PJ 5: Rick finds more evidence of the same type of bomb that was used in the previous attack.
Sean AJ 6: Sean is invaluable in helping figure out how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, which Rick finds, and it helps build a case against the wrong man.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Rick and Sean tie the bombings to a former terrorist who used similar materials for his bombs. He shoots at Sean when they go to arrest him, and Rick pushes him out of the way just in time, saving his life in the process. The bombings cease for a time.
Rick PJ 6: Rick invites Sean to dinner with his family.
Sean AJ 7: Sean, who is single, accepts and brings dessert.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has saved the life of the man they’re trying to bring to justice and has also brought a wolf in sheep’s clothing to meet his family.
ACT 3:
Rick and Sean learn they caught the wrong man.
Sean AJ 8: Sean sends another video message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there will be a whole slew of bombings coming up, and that there’s nothing they can do to stop them.
Rick PJ 7: Rick alerts all FBI field offices to this latest threat.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick starts to spiral downhill emotionally, and withdraws back into his shell, as feelings of inadequacy and depression over their failed attempt to capture the terrorist threaten to overwhelm him.
TURNING POINT 3: Five more cities are bombed.
Rick PJ 7: Rick resigns from the FBI and goes home. He opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
Sean AJ 9: Sean is equally upset about the latest bombings and berates the bureau about not catching who’s behind them.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
ACT 4: Rick figures it out
Climax / Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Rick PJ 7: Rick puts the pieces together and discovers that Sean is the bomber.
Sean AJ 9: Rick confronts Sean at the office, and he tells Rick he did it, so that the FBI would have some hands on training on how to stop terrorist attacks, as opposed to just going through the motions with some pre-planned exercise. He goes on to say that even though people have died from his scenarios, many more people will be saved once the FBI is able to spot and prevent them from happening. Rick tries to arrest Sean, they fight, and Sean gains the upper hand. He tells Rick normally he’d just kill him, but since he saved his life earlier in the case, he’ll let him live. His wife though won’t be so fortunate. Sean knocks Rick out and activates all of the masks and timers on the bombs he sent his new group of helpers, and they all get in their cars with bombs in tow, their timers counting down.
Sean AJ 10: Sean stops off at Rick’s house, carrying a package. He puts it on the doorstep, and then rings the doorbell. Rick’s wife comes to the door, and she and Sean talk for a moment. Sean points out the package on the doorstep, and she takes it inside. Sean drives away. Rick’s wife opens the package and pulls out a mask. A light shines in her eyes, and an audible voice tells her to put it on. She complies, and her face changes so that she looks like someone else. The voice then instructs her to pull a bomb out of the package and to head to a downtown, where she’ll receive further instructions. Rick’s wife puts the bomb in her purse, the timer activates, and she drives away.
Resolution
Rick PJ 8: Rick puts all agents on the lookout for Sean, as he jumps in his car and drives off. Rick pulls up to his house and runs inside. His wife is nowhere to be found. Sean is spotted by a pair of agents, and they call Rick, who runs to his car and joins in the chase. Meanwhile, Rick’s wife gets to the building her mask has instructed her to go to, and she goes inside. Sean is run off the road, by the other agents in front of a mall. He gets out of his car and a gunfight ensues, and Sean ends up shooting both agents, and runs in to the mall. Rick pulls up and checks on the agents, who are both wounded, but alive. They tell Rick where Sean ran off to, and Rick runs into the mall. He finds Sean and pursues him on foot. Rick’s wife takes an elevator to the 25<sup>th</sup> floor.
Sean AJ 11: Sean makes his way to the roof of the mall, with Rick close behind. Rick’s wife plants the bomb in a utility closet. The timer has only five minutes left before it goes off. The voice coming from her mask tells her to remain of the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. She stands in the hallway and looks at her phone. Sean’s helpers in the other cities he’s sent his packages to plant their bombs as well, the timers on each of them have just minutes left.
Rick PJ 9: Rick and Sean fight and Rick overpowers him. Sean pulls out his phone and then throws it over the side of the building. Rick knocks Sean unconscious and goes over to the edge. The phone is on a walkway about eight feet down. Rick drops down to the walkway and picks it up. But just as he goes to open up the app to stop the timers on the bombs, Sean grabs his wrist, and they struggle. There’s only 20 seconds left on each bomb’s timer. Rick gets the upper hand, throws Sean off the walkway, and he plunges to his death. There’s five seconds left on the timer. Rick opens the app that will stop the bombs’ timers, and they all stop with one second left. The masks on each of Sean’s helpers including Rick’s wife, start shimmering and fall off, revealing their true identities, and they all stand where they’re at, without any recollection of what happened. The nightmare is over, and the country is safe once more. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom medal by the President of the United States and is promoted to field office supervisor.
The Deeper layer
Surface Layer: Special Agent Rick
O’Brien and his new partner Sean Gray, are assigned to find and bring the
mastermind behind terrorist attacks occurring through the country to
justice.· Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that Sean Gray is the terrorist.
· Major Reveal: The big reveal is at the end of the story, when Rick figures out Sean is the one behind the terrorist attacks.
· Influences Surface Story: Sean helps Rick with their investigation on the surface, but in reality, he’s always leading them away just enough, to prevent Rick from connecting the dots back to him.
· Hints: Sean is always the first to investigate one of the bombing sites, due to them being up on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper, and Rick hates heights. This gives Sean ample time to plant or alter evidence so that it points away from him being the bomber.
· Changes Reality: When it’s revealed that Sean is the bomber, we the story shift from two dedicate FBI agents trying to bring a madman to justice, to it really being one agent trying to save lives while the bomber was working alongside him the whole time.
Genre Conventions: Thriller
Purpose: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and
suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.
Life and Death Situations: They face danger at every step — either
physically, emotionally, or mentally. The hero needs to either be in danger
or there is the implication of future danger.
Mystery/Intrigue/Suspense: There’s a mystery that must be solved in
order to survive. Intrigue is the underhanded and covert Villain’s plan.
Suspense comes from the danger the Hero faces.
Hero: Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero
Villain: Dangerous, devious, and unrelenting. Committed to destroy
anyone who gets in their way.
Main Emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation,
uncertainty, and surprise.
-
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from this assignment is how to put together a beat sheet based on an initial structure, character journeys, story layers and genre conventions.
Genre: Action/Thriller
ACT 1: Terrorist Attacks Start to Occur
Rick PJ 1: Special Agent Rick O’Brien and his partner try to rescue a hostage, and both the hostage and his partner are killed
Rick PJ 2: Six months later, Rick is at home, sequestered away from his family.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick blames himself for what happened and is battling soul crushing depression.
INCITING INCIDENT: A woman plants a bomb in a skyscraper. He face shimmers after the bomb goes off, and mask falls to the ground. She runs off, with no memory of what she just did. Rick is summoned by his boss to investigate the incident, along with Special Agent Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 1: Sean prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, where his image is blurred, and he states in a disguised voice why the bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.
Rick PJ 3: Rick investigates the crime scene. He finds evidence of what type of bomb was used.
Sean AJ 2: Sean investigates the crime scene along with Rick. He finds the mask on the street, where it fell off the woman’s face.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has no idea that he’s working alongside the man who caused the explosion.
Sean AJ 3: Sean thanks Rick for his help and wishes him well.
Rick PJ 4: Rick goes home and starts to open up a bit to his family.
TURNING POINT 1: Two more attacks much like the first one occur. Rick’s boss reactivates him as now they’re dealing with a serial terrorist.
ACT 2:
Rick and Sean go after the mastermind behind the bombings.
Rick PJ 4: Rick arrives at the field office to see what leads there are if any. He is once again assigned to partner up with Sean Gray.
Sean AJ 4: Sean sends a second video message to the FBI that he and Rick watch, in which he gloats over the bombings, and states that there will be even more coming, and in greater numbers.
Sean AJ 5: Sean analyzes the mask he found at the first crime scene and discovers that it can control the mind of the person who wears it.
DEEPER LAYER: No one but Sean knows that he’s covering his tracks by being the one to “figure out” how the mask works.
Rick PJ 5: Rick finds more evidence of the same type of bomb that was used in the previous attack.
Sean AJ 6: Sean is invaluable in helping figure out how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, which Rick finds, and it helps build a case against the wrong man.
TURNING POINT 2 / MIDPOINT: Rick and Sean tie the bombings to a former terrorist who used similar materials for his bombs. He shoots at Sean when they go to arrest him, and Rick pushes him out of the way just in time, saving his life in the process. The bombings cease for a time.
Rick PJ 6: Rick invites Sean to dinner with his family.
Sean AJ 7: Sean, who is single, accepts and brings dessert.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick has saved the life of the man they’re trying to bring to justice and has also brought a wolf in sheep’s clothing to meet his family.
ACT 3:
Rick and Sean learn they caught the wrong man.
Sean AJ 8: Sean sends another video message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there will be a whole slew of bombings coming up, and that there’s nothing they can do to stop them.
Rick PJ 7: Rick alerts all FBI field offices to this latest threat.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick starts to spiral downhill emotionally, and withdraws back into his shell, as feelings of inadequacy and depression over their failed attempt to capture the terrorist threaten to overwhelm him.
TURNING POINT 3: Five more cities are bombed.
Rick PJ 7: Rick resigns from the FBI and goes home. He opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
Sean AJ 9: Sean is equally upset about the latest bombings and berates the bureau about not catching who’s behind them.
DEEPER LAYER: Rick opens up to his wife about how he’ll never be able to make things right, due to too many people dying under his watch. She tells him the way to make things right is to press forward until the terrorist is caught.
ACT 4: Rick figures it out
Climax / Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Rick PJ 7: Rick puts the pieces together and discovers that Sean is the bomber.
Sean AJ 9: Rick confronts Sean at the office, and he tells Rick he did it, so that the FBI would have some hands on training on how to stop terrorist attacks, as opposed to just going through the motions with some pre-planned exercise. He goes on to say that even though people have died from his scenarios, many more people will be saved once the FBI is able to spot and prevent them from happening. Rick tries to arrest Sean, they fight, and Sean gains the upper hand. He tells Rick normally he’d just kill him, but since he saved his life earlier in the case, he’ll let him live. His wife though won’t be so fortunate. Sean knocks Rick out and activates all of the masks and timers on the bombs he sent his new group of helpers, and they all get in their cars with bombs in tow, their timers counting down.
Sean AJ 10: Sean stops off at Rick’s house, carrying a package. He puts it on the doorstep, and then rings the doorbell. Rick’s wife comes to the door, and she and Sean talk for a moment. Sean points out the package on the doorstep, and she takes it inside. Sean drives away. Rick’s wife opens the package and pulls out a mask. A light shines in her eyes, and an audible voice tells her to put it on. She complies, and her face changes so that she looks like someone else. The voice then instructs her to pull a bomb out of the package and to head to a downtown, where she’ll receive further instructions. Rick’s wife puts the bomb in her purse, the timer activates, and she drives away.
Resolution
Rick PJ 8: Rick puts all agents on the lookout for Sean, as he jumps in his car and drives off. Rick pulls up to his house and runs inside. His wife is nowhere to be found. Sean is spotted by a pair of agents, and they call Rick, who runs to his car and joins in the chase. Meanwhile, Rick’s wife gets to the building her mask has instructed her to go to, and she goes inside. Sean is run off the road, by the other agents in front of a mall. He gets out of his car and a gunfight ensues, and Sean ends up shooting both agents, and runs in to the mall. Rick pulls up and checks on the agents, who are both wounded, but alive. They tell Rick where Sean ran off to, and Rick runs into the mall. He finds Sean and pursues him on foot. Rick’s wife takes an elevator to the 25<sup>th</sup> floor.
Sean AJ 11: Sean makes his way to the roof of the mall, with Rick close behind. Rick’s wife plants the bomb in a utility closet. The timer has only five minutes left before it goes off. The voice coming from her mask tells her to remain of the 25<sup>th</sup> floor. She stands in the hallway and looks at her phone. Sean’s helpers in the other cities he’s sent his packages to plant their bombs as well, the timers on each of them have just minutes left.
Rick PJ 9: Rick and Sean fight and Rick overpowers him. Sean pulls out his phone and then throws it over the side of the building. Rick knocks Sean unconscious and goes over to the edge. The phone is on a walkway about eight feet down. Rick drops down to the walkway and picks it up. But just as he goes to open up the app to stop the timers on the bombs, Sean grabs his wrist, and they struggle. There’s only 20 seconds left on each bomb’s timer. Rick gets the upper hand, throws Sean off the walkway, and he plunges to his death. There’s five seconds left on the timer. Rick opens the app that will stop the bombs’ timers, and they all stop with one second left. The masks on each of Sean’s helpers including Rick’s wife, start shimmering and fall off, revealing their true identities, and they all stand where they’re at, without any recollection of what happened. The nightmare is over, and the country is safe once more. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom medal by the President of the United States and is promoted to field office supervisor.
The Deeper layer
Surface Layer: Special Agent Rick
O’Brien and his new partner Sean Gray, are assigned to find and bring the
mastermind behind terrorist attacks occurring through the country to
justice.· Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that Sean Gray is the terrorist.
· Major Reveal: The big reveal is at the end of the story, when Rick figures out Sean is the one behind the terrorist attacks.
· Influences Surface Story: Sean helps Rick with their investigation on the surface, but in reality, he’s always leading them away just enough, to prevent Rick from connecting the dots back to him.
· Hints: Sean is always the first to investigate one of the bombing sites, due to them being up on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper, and Rick hates heights. This gives Sean ample time to plant or alter evidence so that it points away from him being the bomber.
· Changes Reality: When it’s revealed that Sean is the bomber, we the story shift from two dedicate FBI agents trying to bring a madman to justice, to it really being one agent trying to save lives while the bomber was working alongside him the whole time.
Genre Conventions: Thriller
Purpose: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and
suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.
Life and Death Situations: They face danger at every step — either
physically, emotionally, or mentally. The hero needs to either be in danger
or there is the implication of future danger.
Mystery/Intrigue/Suspense: There’s a mystery that must be solved in
order to survive. Intrigue is the underhanded and covert Villain’s plan.
Suspense comes from the danger the Hero faces.
Hero: Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero
Villain: Dangerous, devious, and unrelenting. Committed to destroy
anyone who gets in their way.
Main Emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation,
uncertainty, and surprise.
-
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to add more depth to a story, by adding an additional layer of character background and motivation.
Surface Layer: Special Agent Rick O’Brien
and his new partner Sean Gray, are assigned to find and bring the
mastermind behind terrorist attacks occurring through the country to justice.· Deeper Layer: The deeper layer is that Sean Gray is the terrorist.
· Major Reveal: The big reveal is at the end of the story, when Rick figures out Sean is the one behind the terrorist attacks.
· Influences Surface Story: Sean helps Rick with their investigation on the surface, but in reality, he’s always leading them away just enough, to prevent Rick from connecting the dots back to him.
· Hints: Sean is always the first to investigate one of the bombing sites, due to them being up on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper, and Rick hates heights. This gives Sean ample time to plant or alter evidence so that it points away from him being the bomber.
· Changes Reality: When it’s revealed that Sean is the bomber, we the story shift from two dedicate FBI agents trying to bring a madman to justice, to it really being one agent trying to save lives while the bomber was working along side him the whole time.
Rick O’Brien’s Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Rick’s partner and the
hostage they’re trying to save are killed in the attempt. <div>Inciting Incident: 6 months later, a
woman emerges from a skyscraper and a massive explosion goes off at the 20<sup style=”font-family: inherit;”>th</sup>
floor. Her face shimmers, and a mask falls on the ground, revealing a
different face. The woman looks around in bewilderment and runs off.Turning Point 1: Two more buildings
are bombed in different cities, by people that were wearing masks that
controlled their minds, and Rick is assigned to find out who’s behind the
attacks with his new partner, Sean Gray.Act 2: Rick and Sean travel to where
the bombings occurred, in the hope of finding the mastermind that’s
carrying them out.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rick and
Sean find and arrest the perpetrator and the bombings stop.Act 3: Rick and Sean get an
anonymous message that says they captured a copycat, and that the attacks
are far from over.Turning Point 3: A new wave of
bombings, more than before, occur, and Rick and Sean desperately search
for who’s behind them all.Act 4 Climax: Rick discovers that
Sean is behind the bombings. Rick pursues and tracks him down, and they
have an epic fight on the roof of a mall.Resolution: Sean tries to kill Rick,
but Rick prevails, and Sean is killed in the process. The country is safe
once more.<div>
Sean Gray’s Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Sean holds a woman
hostage. Rick and his current partner try to rescue her. Sean kills the woman
and Rick’s partner, his identity is not known, as he escapes without being
captured. </div>Inciting Incident: Sean sends a
package to a random address that contains a mask that will control the
mind of the person once they take a look at it, as well as a bomb for them
to plant in a building. Soon after, the first bombing occurs, Sean
prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, outlining why the
bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.Turning Point 1: Emboldened by his
success, Sean sends out two more packages, this time to different cities,
and his plans again prove to be successful. He sends a second video
message, gloating over the bombings, and once again stating that there
will be even more coming, and in greater numbers. Sean is assigned to be
Rick O’Brien’s new partner after the second series of bombings.Act 2: Rick and Sean investigate the
second series of bombings, and Sean is invaluable in helping figure out
how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants
evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, and then finds it, to help
build a case against an innocent man.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rick and
Sean capture a man that Sean’s fake evidence seems to point to him being
the bomber. For a time the bombings stop.Act 3: Sean sends another video
message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there
will be a whole slew of bombings comings up, and that there’s nothing they
can do to stop them.Turning Point 3: As Sean predicts,
numerous bombings are successfully carried out throughout the country, and
he and Rick are on a manhunt to try and bring the bomber to justice.Act 4 Climax: Rick discovers that
Sean is behind the bombings. Rick pursues and tracks him down, and they
have an epic fight on the roof of a mall.Resolution: Sean tries to kill Rick,
but Rick prevails, and Sean is killed in the process. The country is safe
once more.</div>
-
Paul Dees’ Character Structure
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to create a character journey for the protagonist and antagonist using a series of steps that to take them through the entire story.
Rick O’Brien’s Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Rick’s partner and the
hostage they’re trying to save are killed in the attempt. <div>Inciting Incident: 6 months later, a
woman emerges from a skyscraper and a massive explosion goes off at the 20<sup>th</sup>
floor. Her face shimmers, and a mask falls on the ground, revealing a
different face. The woman looks around in bewilderment and runs off.<div>
Turning Point 1: Two more buildings
are bombed in different cities, by people that were wearing masks that
controlled their minds, and Rick is assigned to find out who’s behind the
attacks with his new partner, Sean Gray.Act 2: Rick and Sean travel to where
the bombings occurred, in the hope of finding the mastermind that’s
carrying them out.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rick and
Sean find and arrest the perpetrator and the bombings stop.Act 3: Rick and Sean get an
anonymous message that says they captured a copycat, and that the attacks
are far from over.Turning Point 3: A new wave of
bombings, more than before, occur, and Rick and Sean desperately search
for who’s behind them all.Act 4 Climax: Rick discovers that
Sean is behind the bombings. Rick pursues and tracks him down, and they
have an epic fight on the roof of a mall.
Resolution: Sean tries to kill Rick,
but Rick prevails, and Sean is killed in the process. The country is safe
once more.<div>
Sean Gray’s Character Journey Structure
Beginning: Sean holds a woman
hostage. Rick and his current partner try to rescue her. Sean kills the
woman and Rick’s partner, his identity is not known, as he escapes without
being captured. </div>Inciting Incident: Sean sends a
package to a random address that contains a mask that will control the
mind of the person once they take a look at it, as well as a bomb for them
to plant in a building. Soon after, the first bombing occurs, Sean
prepares a video message that he sends to the FBI, outlining why the
bombings are happening, and that there will be more to come.Turning Point 1: Emboldened by his
success, Sean sends out two more packages, this time to different cities,
and his plans again prove to be successful. He sends a second video
message, gloating over the bombings, and once again stating that there
will be even more coming, and in greater numbers. Sean is assigned to be
Rick O’Brien’s new partner after the second series of bombings.Act 2: Rick and Sean investigate the
second series of bombings, and Sean is invaluable in helping figure out
how the masks found at each scene connect to the bombings. He also plants
evidence at each scene unbeknownst to Rick, and then finds it, to help
build a case against an innocent man.Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Rick and
Sean capture a man that Sean’s fake evidence seems to point to him being
the bomber. For a time the bombings stop.Act 3: Sean sends another video
message, telling the FBI that they caught the wrong man, and that there
will be a whole slew of bombings comings up, and that there’s nothing they
can do to stop them.Turning Point 3: As Sean predicts,
numerous bombings are successfully carried out throughout the country, and
he and Rick are on a manhunt to try and bring the bomber to justice.Act 4 Climax: Rick discovers that
Sean is behind the bombings. Rick pursues and tracks him down, and they
have an epic fight on the roof of a mall.Resolution: Sean tries to kill Rick,
but Rick prevails, and Sean is killed in the process. The country is safe
once more.</div></div>
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Paul Dees’ Supporting Characters
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to create supporting characters that are in the screenplay for a reason, that are compelling and that an actor would want to play.
Supporting Character # 1:
Name: Michelle O’Brien <div>
Role: Special Agent Rick O’Brien’s
wife
Main purpose: She is one of the last
people the terrorist sends one of his masks to that takes over her mind,
so that she’ll plant a bomb in a building for him. And unlike all the
others he’s used before, she’s instructed to stay there, so that she’ll be
a casualty when the bomb goes off.Value: Having the protagonist’s wife
be one of the terrorist’s unwilling pawns, up the stakes in the final act,
and gives Rick extra incentive to find who’s behind the attacks so he can
stop them from happening and save her, in addition to all the others who
are in danger.Supporting Character #2:
Name: Jack McCready <div>
Role: Reporter
Main purpose: He’s a reporter for
the national news, who’s out to get his next big story.Value: Jack shows up like clockwork
at every scene where a terrorist attack has occurred, so much so, that we
begin to suspect he might be behind them all.Supporting Character #3:
Name: Norman Myers </div>
Role: Copycat Terrorist
Main purpose: Norman is inspired by
the serial terrorist and carries out an attack of his own.Value: Norman shows up at the
midpoint of the film, leading one to believe the serial terrorist has been
caught. It provides a false victory that sets up the real terrorist coming
back in spades as the film continues.</div>
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Paul Dees’ Character Profiles Part 2
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds and am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to create a character profile that will help influence the beats of the screenplay, which will make them a compelling character audiences will care about, and that an actor will want to play.
High Concept: A nameless villain uses masks to control the minds of the people he sends them to, in order to carry out terrorist acts through the U.S.
Character’s Journey: Rick O’Brien
Arc Beginning: FBI agent haunted by his past, assigned to stop a terrorist.
Arc Ending: His past is resolved; the terrorist is brought to justice.
Internal Journey: From depressed and nearly suicidal to confident and at peace.
External Journey: From being just another FBI agent, to being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom with Distinction and being promoted to field office supervisor.
Old Ways:
Pessimistic about life, often feels
like he wants to end it all
Blames himself for a work related
scenario that ended tragically
Distances himself from his family
Goes through the motions at workNew Ways:
Optimistic about the future
Reconnects with his family
Inner demons over tragic scenario
are resolved
Exemplary FBI agentThe Actor Attractors For This Character
What about this role would cause an
actor to want to be known for it?Rick is cool under fire, is no one you want to get in a fight with if you’re one of the bad guys, and always gets his man.
What makes this character one of the
most interesting characters in your story?Rick has some vulnerabilities. He’s afraid of heights, which makes his job harder in those situations, and he also blames himself for a botched hostage situation where both the hostage and his partner were killed.
What are the most interesting
actions the Lead could take in the script?Rick investigates a series of terrorist attacks, where a bomb went off on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper. He has to battle his fear of heights as he checks out the crime scenes, where half of the floor was destroyed, and he’s forced to stand on the edge and look down 20 stories. He also puts together the pieces of the case by making use of his photographic memory. Lastly, he gets into an insane car chase while trying to catch the villain that culminates in a final faceoff at the top of a skyscraper.
How can you introduce this role in a
way that could sell it to an actor?Rick is also a musician, and we are first introduced to him tearing it up on an electric guitar at home.
What could be this character’s
emotional rangeRick is calm, cool and collected, but there are times when he snaps without warning due to the trauma he’s been through. He genuinely loves his family, and also broods over feeling responsible for the death of his former partner and the hostage in a previous hostage situation.
What subtext can the actor play?
Rick is battling feeling responsible for a botched hostage situation, and it’s always lurking beneath the surface as manifest by the things he does and the things he says.
What’s the most interesting relationship
this character can have?Rick’s relationship with the antagonist is particularly interesting, because the antagonist calls him on a regular basis using a disguised voice, to taunt him as the terrorist attacks pile up.
How will this character’s unique
voice be presented?By how Rick goes about the investigation, and we see the different sides of his personality through the choices he makes.
What could make this character
special and unique?His being assigned to a case where many lives are at stake, while trying to process the emotional baggage he carries around as a result of the deaths he was unable to prevent during a previous case.
Character Profile
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist
2. Age Range and Description: Early to mid-40’s, an athletic man with an intelligent look, who is trying to atone for the deaths of his former partner and the hostage they were trying to save.
3. Core Traits:
· Integral
· Compassionate
· Haunted
· Brave
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
· Want: To catch a serial terrorist
· Need: To resolve the guilt he feels from losing his partner and the hostage.
5. Wound: What he can’t face:
Rick lost his partner and a hostage, and tries to bury the hurt he feels, but he needs to expunge it so he can be at peace.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Rick genuinely cares about people. He demonstrates this at home in his interactions with his family, with his co-workers, and in trying to protect the people in danger he comes in contact with as an FBI agent.
Rick loves his family, but things don’t always go smoothly at home. Kids act up, sometimes he and his wife don’t see eye to eye, the cars need fixing, the house needs some work, and he has a pile of bills to pay. He also has to take out the garbage or do the dishes when it’s his turn.
Rick is genuinely haunted by the death of his former partner and the hostage he was trying to rescue as shown in the prologue. We all have suffered the loss of someone special and can empathize with his grief.
7. Character Subtext
Subtext Identity: FBI Agent that’s trying to hold it together
Subtext Trait: In denial
Subtext Logline: Rick O’Brien is an FBI Agent that is in denial about the emotional trauma he’s carrying around, after his partner and a hostage are killed during a botched operation he was in charge of.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Always upbeat, blows off inquiries if he’s all right when it looks like something’s wrong for just a moment, doesn’t sleep well or for very long, brief moments when he looks and acts like he’s carrying the whole world on his shoulders.
8. Character Intrigue
Unspoken Wound: Rick goes out of his way to hide the emotional pain he feels from the death of his partner and the hostage they were trying to rescue as shown in the prologue of the film. But it comes to the surface every now and then despite his best attempts.
9. Flaw
Rick is hyper-critical of himself, which causes him to second guess his decisions while on the job and makes him question his value as a husband and father at home.
10. Values
Family, loyalty, justice, integrity, honor.
11. Internal Dilemma
Fears failure while still having to bring the terrorist to justice.
Character’s Journey: Sean Gray
Arc Beginning: FBI agent assigned to help Rick O’Brien catch the terrorist.
Arc Ending: It’s revealed he’s the terrorist, and he’s brought to justice.
Internal Journey: From wanting to give the FBI real-life training on how to stop terrorist attacks by staging them throughout the country, to feeling satisfied he’s helped the bureau learn their lesson, but despondent because he was found out and brought to justice.
External Journey: From being Rick’s partner to being revealed as the terrorist they’re assigned to catch.
Character’s Ways:
Wants to protect others
Willing to sacrifice some lives if
many more can be saved in the long run
Cleverly presents himself as Rick’s
partner.
Protects the people he sends to
carry out terrorist acts. They don’t remember planting a bomb in the
building they’re sent to, and they’re not in the building when the bomb
goes off.The Actor Attractors For This Character
What about this role would cause an
actor to want to be known for it?He is invisible in the sense that he’s not seen for most of the film, at least we think he’s not.
What makes this character one of the
most interesting characters in your story?He’s a dual character, because he’s Special Agent Sean Gray who also happens to be a megalomaniac and a terrorist that’s the mastermind behind the bombings going on throughout the country.
What are the most interesting
actions the Lead could take in the script?Sean’s ability to make Rick think he’s one of the good guys, when in reality, he sends him down the wrong path ever so slightly, so it still looks like he’s trying to help catch who’s behind the bombings.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Sean is very charismatic and has it together. So when he is introduced in the film, he commands the room.
What could be this character’s
emotional rangeSean is confident, likeable, always has a joke handy, and he enjoys the thrill of the job.
What subtext can the actor play?
Because Sean is also a terrorist, there’s a sense of menace and danger that is underneath all of his likeable qualities.
What’s the most interesting
relationship this character can have?Sean’s relationship with Rick, as he’s been secretly taunting him the entire time they’ve been on the case.
How will this character’s unique
voice be presented?By the duality of his character, which comes full circle when it’s revealed that he and the terrorist are one and the same.
What could make this character
special and unique?His motivation for carrying out the attacks, which is to help the FBI become more skilled at preventing terrorist incidents by responding to real life situations. In his mind he’s doing something good even though there are a certain number of people that will die as the FBI learns how to spot and prevent the attacks, because eventually they’ll be really good at it, thanks to him providing them with lots of practice.
Character Profile
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist
2. Age Range and Description: Early to mid-30’s. Sean is in great shape, he clearly spends a lot of time in the gym, and he has a confident and playful air about him.
3. Core Traits:
· Fun
· Charismatic
· Intelligent
· Purposeful
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
· Want: To give the FBI practical experience with preventing terrorist attacks.
· Need: To protect people
5. Wound: What they can’t face:
It is revealed that Sean lost his family in the 9/11 attacks and was raised by an aunt and uncle. He desperately needs to ensure that further attacks will be prevented.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy
Sean is very charismatic, the life of the party who owns the room whenever he’s around. He has a great sense of humor, and people warm up to him as a result.
People relate to Sean because he’s so likable. He’s your best friend as soon as you start talking to him.
When Sean reveals to Rick that he’s the terrorist they’ve been hunting, he tells him he masterminded the attacks so that the FBI would have experience with preventing real-life scenarios, not some pre-planned training exercise. He then goes on to say that even though some people died in the attacks, once the FBI became more skilled at preventing them, many more lives would be saved in the long run. So while Sean doesn’t go about it in a very ethical way, we can all understand wanting to protect people.
7. Character Subtext
Subtext Identity: FBI Agent with a huge secret
Subtext Trait: Deceitful, subversive, diabolical
Subtext Logline: Sean Gray is an FBI Agent that is likeable on the outside, but is actually deceitful, subversive and diabolical due to his being the terrorist he pretends to help Rick bring to justice.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Studied biomedical engineering in college and understands how the masks the terrorist uses to control peoples’ minds in order to carry out his attacks are constructed and how they operate.
Leads Rick to someone we think is responsible for the attacks, only to find it was a false alarm. Expresses admiration for the terrorist’s handiwork.
8. Character Intrigue
Secret Identity: In addition to being a Special Agent with the FBI, Sean is also the terrorist he and Rick are assigned to find and bring to justice.
Deception: Sean balances acting like he’s on board with trying to catch the terrorist, with subtle twists and turns that lead Rick astray just enough to keep him from being caught.
9. Flaw
Sean believes that it’s acceptable for some people to die, if countless more can be saved as a result.
10. Values
compassion (in his skewed way), cleverness, tenacity, focus, intrigue
11. Internal Dilemma
How to help Rick catch the “terrorist” and not get caught while carrying out his plans at the same time.
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Paul Dees’ Character Profiles Part 1
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to make a thorough character profile that is in line with the high concept of the story, that outlines the character’s journey, and attracts actors to the role.
Character Profile #1
Rick O’Brien
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist
2. Age Range and Description: Early to mid-40’s, an athletic man with an intelligent look, who is trying to atone for the deaths of his former partner and the hostage they were trying to save.
3. Core Traits:
· Integral
· Compassionate
· Haunted
· Brave
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
· Want: To catch a serial terrorist
· Need: To resolve the guilt he feels from losing his partner and the hostage.
5. Wound: What he can’t face:
Rick lost his partner and a hostage, and tries to bury the hurt he feels, but he needs to expunge it so he can be at peace.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Rick genuinely cares about people. He demonstrates this at home in his interactions with his family, with his co-workers, and in trying to protect the people in danger he comes in contact with as an FBI agent.
Rick loves his family, but things don’t always go smoothly at home. Kids act up, sometimes he and wife don’t see eye to eye, the cars need fixing, the house needs some work, and he has a pile of bills to pay. He also has to take out the garbage or do the dishes when it’s his turn.
Rick is genuinely haunted by the death of his former partner and the hostage he was trying to rescue as shown in the prologue. We all have suffered the loss of someone special and can empathize with his grief
Character Profile #2
Sean Gray
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist
2. Age Range and Description: Early to mid-30’s. Sean is in great shape, he clearly spends a lot of time in the gym, and he has a confident and playful air about him.
3. Core Traits:
· Fun
· Charismatic
· Intelligent
· Purposeful
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
· Want: To give the FBI practical experience with preventing terrorist attacks.
· Need: To protect people
5. Wound: What they can’t face:
It is revealed that Sean lost his family in the 9/11 attacks and was raised by an aunt and uncle. He desperately needs to ensure that further attacks will be prevented.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy
Sean is very charismatic, the life of the party who owns the room whenever he’s around. He has a great sense of humor, and people warm up to him as a result.
People relate to Sean because he’s so likable. He’s your best friend as soon as you start talking to him.
When Sean reveals to Rick that he’s the terrorist they’ve been hunting, he tells him he masterminded the attacks so that the FBI would have experience with preventing real-life scenarios, not some pre-planned training exercise. He then goes on to say that even though some people died in the attacks, once the FBI became more skilled at preventing them, many more lives would be saved in the long run. So while Sean doesn’t go about it in a very ethical way, we can all understand wanting to protect people.
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Paul Dees’ Likability/Relatability/ Empathy
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how connect the audience to the lead characters in a film.
Protagonist: Rick O’Brien
· Likeability: Rick genuinely cares about people. He demonstrates this at home in his interactions with his family, with his co-workers, and in trying to protect the people in danger he comes in contact with as an FBI agent.
· Relatability: Ricks loves his family, but things don’t always go smoothly at home. Kids act up, sometimes he and wife don’t see eye to eye, the cars need fixing, the house needs some work, and he has a pile of bills to pay. He also has to take out the garbage or do the dishes when it’s his turn.
· Empathy: Rick is genuinely haunted by the death of his former partner and the hostage he was trying to rescue as shown in the prologue. We all have suffered the loss of someone special and can empathize with his grief.
Antagonist: Sean Gray
· Likeability: Sean is very charismatic, the life of the party who owns the room whenever he’s around. He has a great sense of humor, and people warm up to him as a result.
· Relatability: People relate to Sean because he’s so likable. He’s your best friend as soon as you start talking to him.
· Empathy: When Sean reveals to Rick that he’s the terrorist they’ve been hunting, he tells him he masterminded the attacks so that the FBI would have experience with preventing real-life scenarios, not some pre-planned training exercise. He then goes on to say that even though some people died in the attacks, once the FBI became more skilled at preventing them, many more lives would be saved in the long run. So while Sean doesn’t go about it in a very ethical way, we can all understand wanting to protect people.
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Paul Dees’ Character Intrigue
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What is learned from doing this assignment is how to add additional layers of subtext a lead character is endowed with.
Character Name: Rick O’Brien
Role: Protagonist
Unspoken Wound: Rick goes out of his way to hide the emotional pain he feels from the death of his partner and the hostage they were trying to rescue as shown in the prologue of the film. But it comes to the surface every now and then despite his best attempts.
Character Name: Sean Gray
Role: Antagonist
Secret Identity: In addition to being a Special Agent with the FBI, Sean is also the terrorist he and Rick are assigned to find and bring to justice.
Deception: Sean balances acting like he’s on board with trying to catch the terrorist, with subtle twists and turns that lead Rick astray just enough to keep him from being caught.
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Paul Dees’ Subtext Characters
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to have a specific game plan for endowing lead characters in a screenplay with subtext.
Movie Title: The Invisible Terrorist
Character Name: Rick O’Brien
Subtext Identity: FBI Agent that’s trying to hold it together
Subtext Trait: In denial
Subtext Logline: Rick O’Brien is an FBI Agent that is in denial about the emotional trauma he’s carrying around, after his partner and a hostage are killed during a botched operation he was in charge of prior to the current events of the film.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Always upbeat, blows off inquiries if he’s all right when it looks like something’s wrong for just a moment, doesn’t sleep well or for very long, brief moments when he looks and acts like he’s carrying the whole world on his shoulders.
Character Name: Sean Gray
Subtext Identity: FBI Agent with a huge secret
Subtext Traits: Deceitful, subversive, diabolical
Subtext Logline: Sean Gray is an FBI Agent that is likeable on the outside, but is actually deceitful, subversive and diabolical due to his being the terrorist he pretends to help Rick bring to justice.
Possible Areas of Subtext: Studied biomedical engineering in college and understands how the masks the terrorist uses to control peoples’ minds in order to carry out his attacks are constructed and how they operate. Leads Rick to someone we think is responsible for the attacks, only to find it was a false alarm. Expresses admiration for the terrorist’s handiwork.
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Paul Dees’ Actors Attractors
My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to use a series of questions to create an unforgettable character that an actor would absolutely love to play.
Lead Character Name: Rick O’Brien
Role: Protagonist
What about this role would cause an
actor to want to be known for it?Rick is cool under fire, is no one you want to get in a fight with if you’re one of the bad guys, and always gets his man.
What makes this character one of the
most interesting characters in your story?Rick has some vulnerabilities. He’s afraid of heights, which makes his job harder in those situations, and he also blames himself for a botched hostage situation where both the hostage and his partner were killed.
What are the most interesting
actions the Lead could take in the script?Rick investigates a series of terrorist attacks, where a bomb went off on the 20<sup>th</sup> floor of a skyscraper. He has to battle his fear of heights as he checks out the crime scenes, where half of the floor was destroyed, and he’s forced to stand on the edge and look down 20 stories. He also puts together the pieces of the case by making use of his photographic memory. Lastly, he gets into an insane car chase while trying to catch the villain that culminates in a final faceoff at the top of a skyscraper.
How can you introduce this role in a
way that could sell it to an actor?Rick is also a musician, and we are first introduced to him tearing it up on an electric guitar at home.
What could be this character’s
emotional rangeRick is calm, cool and collected, but there are times when he snaps without warning due to the trauma he’s been through. He genuinely loves his family, and also broods over feeling responsible for the death of his former partner and the hostage in a previous hostage situation.
What subtext can the actor play?
Rick is battling feeling responsible for a botched hostage situation, and it’s always lurking beneath the surface as manifest by the things he does and the things he says.
What’s the most interesting
relationship this character can have?Rick’s relationship with the antagonist is particularly interesting, because the antagonist calls him on a regular basis using a disguised voice, to taunt him as the terrorist attacks pile up.
How will this character’s unique
voice be presented?By how Rick goes about the investigation, and we see the different sides of his personality through the choices he makes.
What could make this character
special and unique?His being assigned to a case where many lives are at stake, while trying to process the emotional baggage he carries around as a result of the deaths he was unable to prevent during a previous case.
Lead Character Name: Sean Gray
Role: Antagonist
What about this role would cause an
actor to want to be known for it?He is invisible in the sense that he’s not seen for most of the film, at least we think he’s not.
What makes this character one of the
most interesting characters in your story?He’s a dual character, because he’s Special Agent Sean Gray who also happens to be a megalomaniac and a terrorist that’s the mastermind behind the bombing going on throughout the country.
What are the most interesting
actions the Lead could take in the script?Sean’s ability to make Rick think he’s one of he good guys, when in reality, he sends him down the wrong path ever so slightly, so it looks like he’s trying to help catch who’s behind the bombings.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Sean is very charismatic and has it together. So when he is introduced in the film, he commands the room.
What could be this character’s
emotional rangeSean is confident, likeable, always has a joke handy, and he enjoys the thrill of the job.
What subtext can the actor play?
Because Sean is also a terrorist, there’s a sense of menace and danger that is underneath all of his likeable qualities.
What’s the most interesting
relationship this character can have?Sean’s relationship with Rick, as he’s been secretly taunting him the entire time they’ve been on the case.
How will this character’s unique
voice be presented?By the duality of his character, which comes full circle when it’s revealed that he and the terrorist are one and the same.
What could make this character
special and unique?His motivation for carrying out the attacks, which is to help the FBI become more skilled at preventing terrorist incidents by responding to real life situations. In his mind he’s doing something good even though there’s a certain number of people that will die as the FBI learns how to spot and prevent the attacks, because eventually they’ll be really good at it, thanks to him providing them with lots of practice.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to create memorable characters in a screenplay that actors will want to play.
Movie Title: The Bourne Identity
Lead Character Name: Jason Bourne
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role? Jason Bourne is the ultimate superspy.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Jason doesn’t remember who he is and has a set of skills that make him a formidable and potentially lethal opponent to anyone that tries to cross his path. He also knows multiple languages. And he desperately tries to figure out why people are trying to kill him, and how he can survive.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Jason’s sudden display of fighting skills at the beginning of the film when he’s sleeping at the park, and his bewilderment on how he just disarmed and disabled two policemen with his bare hands. He also speaks German to them before he disarms them. Also, his ability to blend in and remain undetected while the CIA is trying everything they can to get a bead on him. Lastly, Jason has the ability to draw out the people that are trying to kill him on his terms.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Jason is found floating in the ocean unconscious by a fishing boat during a storm. When he wakes up he doesn’t know who he is, or how he ended up in the ocean.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Jason can be cold and calculated, like when he disarms and or kills those that are trying to kill him. He’s also frustrated at times, because he can’t remember who he is or why people are trying to kill him. He can be vulnerable as he demonstrates when he falls in love with Marie. And he’s righteously indignant with those that won’t leave him alone.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
There’s an inherent rage that smolders beneath the surface due his being a hunted man and he doesn’t know why, which affects what he says and does throughout the film.
7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?
Jason’s relationship with Marie is interesting because she’s the only person he knows, due to his amnesia, and he’s the only person she has a connection with; they need each other on every level.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Jason only kills or disarms people to defend himself, which gives him a layer of morality.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
Jason is a reluctant hero. He just wants to live his life and be left alone, while at the same time, he is a lethal government assassin that has no recollection of what his past life was.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
There’s a scene where Jason and Marie travel to her friend’s house in Paris, and he discovers that another assassin that’s been sent to kill him, has tracked them down. He tells Marie along with her friend and his children to hide, downstairs, showing that he cares for Maire, and doesn’t want innocent people to die. He grabs a shotgun and goes out and methodically hunts down and kills the assassin. As he’s dying in a field outside the house, he’s questioned by Jason, who just wants to know who he is and why he was sent kill him. Jason displays a myriad of emotions in that one scene, and there are others where he does the same.
Movie Title: The Bourne Identity
Lead Character Name: Marie Kreutz
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Marie is tough and fearless, far from being a damsel in distress.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
Marie proves to be an invaluable ally to Jason, even though she hardly knows him at first. She has no one in her life, and nowhere to go, so she figures she might as well go with him so that she belongs to someone.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
When faced with mortal danger in Paris, Jason tells Marie she can leave and go back to her life or get in the car with him and face the dangers he’s facing. She opts to go with him, which not many people would do.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Marie is at the American Consulate in Switzerland, trying to get a Visa. She’s assertive with the man behind the counter, but no go. She runs into Jason by her car, and he offers to pay her $20,000 to give him a ride to Paris, no questions asked. Marie balks at it at first, but Jason convinces her, as he needs a ride and she need money, and they set off together.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Marie is no shrinking violet and can handle whatever scenarios Jason’s plight puts her through. She’s also vulnerable and passionate, as she eventually falls in love with Jason. She can also be genuinely frightened at times but is able to work through it and stay focused on the task at hand.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Marie is clearly in love with Jason, though she doesn’t ever say it. But it influences everything she says and does in the film.
7. What’s the most interesting relationship this character has?
Marie’s relationship with Jason is particularly unique because she’s willing to go on a journey with him that she may not survive, even though she barely knows him.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
Marie is trying to fit in, to belong anywhere.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
She shows courage in the face of danger for a person she hardly knows and does so without a second thought.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
As Jason and Marie arrive in Paris at his apartment, he thanks her for giving him a ride and pays her the $20,000 they agreed upon. He tells her she can come up and stay for a bit before she moves on, and she agrees. An assassin crashed through the window, and Jason fights him to the death, But rather than run off afterwards, Marie stays with him, and wants to help him find out who’s hunting him and why.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to improve upon the structure of a screenplay by using tried and true conventions of its specific genre.
Concept: A nameless villain uses masks to control the minds of the people he sends them to, in order to carry out terrorist acts through the U.S.
Thriller Conventions
Purpose: To thrill your audience with high stakes, plot twists, and
suspense that never lets up until the adrenalin packed climax.
Life and Death Situations: They face danger at every step — either
physically, emotionally, or mentally. The hero needs to either be in danger
or there is the implication of future danger.
Mystery/Intrigue/Suspense: There’s a mystery that must be solved in
order to survive. Intrigue is the underhanded and covert Villain’s plan.
Suspense comes from the danger the Hero faces.
Hero: Unknowing, unwitting, but resourceful hero
Villain: Dangerous, devious, and unrelenting. Committed to destroy
anyone who gets in their way.
Main Emotions: Suspense, intrigue, mystery, tension, anticipation,
uncertainty, and surprise.
Act 1:
Opening
A prologue that shows Rick in charge of a hostage situation that goes horribly wrong. After a tense negotiation, the kidnapper kills both the hostage and Rick’s partner, and escapes into the night.
We get a look into Rick’s home life six months later, which is not good. He keeps to himself, and hardly says anything to his wife or his children.
A 30 something year-old woman walks into a mall and carries a large handbag. She ducks into a hallway on the third floor behind some of the stores. A security guard confronts her. She overpowers him and drags him to a supply closet, where she leaves him and the bag. The woman exits the mall, after which a huge explosion goes off. Suddenly the woman’s face shimmers, and a mask falls to the ground. The woman, whose face looks different from the mask she was wearing, looks around in bewilderment and horror, and runs off.
Inciting Incident
There’s a knock at Rick’s door. It’s his boss. He tells him he’s needed on a new case that requires his expertise. Rick balks at it, telling him his leave of absence is for six more months. His boss tells him it’s just for this one case, and Rick reluctantly agrees.
At the mall, Rick investigates the crime scene, and is introduced to his new partner, Special Agent Sean Gray, who has a background in biomedical engineering and munitions. He finds the mask the woman was wearing and looks at the blast site. He struggles to stay calm as the blast site is on the third floor of the mall, and he’s afraid of heights.
Turning Point
A second terrorist attack occurs much like the first in a different city, except it involves a 60 year-old man depositing a brief case in the bathroom stall of an office building. He emerges from the building right before a massive explosion goes off at one of the floors near the top of the building. His face shimmers, a mask falls to the ground and he runs off. Rick and Sean are now dealing with a serial terrorist.
Act 2:
New Plan
Sean analyzes the mask they found at the first crime scene. He discovers the mask’s ability to control people’s minds, which starts when a person picks it up and looks at it in the eyes, and it forces them to put it on. Sean then demonstrates. It takes two other agents to pull it off his face. Rick and Sean get ready to head out to the next crime scene.
Plan in Action
Rick and Sean arrive at the crime scene. Rick again struggles with his fear of heights, as the blast site is on the 25<sup>th</sup> floor, and there’s a gaping hole in the building.
Midpoint Turning Point
After following a series of leads, Rick and Sean track down and arrest the mastermind behind the attacks.
Act 3:
Rethink Everything
Back at the office, Rick and Sean receive a flash drive in the mail. It has a video file with a message from the terror mastermind, stating that the person they caught at the second bombing was merely one of his pawns. The video then shows a news segment, showing how the man Rick and Sean arrested now looks completely different, and that the prison staff found a mask inside his cell, and that the man has now idea why he’s there. The terror mastermind then says that another attack is coming, and on a much larger scale.
New Plan
Rick and Sean tell all the major news outlets throughout the country about the message they received, and work with FBI field offices to take appropriate security measures, as they race against the clock to try and stop a new wave of attacks.
Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift
Five medium sized cities suffer terrorist attacks, which is a complete surprise to Rick and Sean as major cities have been the targets up till now. Each city has the same scenario, with an anonymous perpetrator dropping off an explosive device in a heavily populated area, and leaving, followed by the mask they were wearing falling off their faces, leaving them completely unaware of what they just did.
Rick is devastated, and for the first time in months, opens up to his wife, who is more than ready to listen. She tells him he can’t quit, that the country needs him to find who’s behind the attacks and bring him to justice. He also reconnects with their kids and comes to realize what he’s been missing out on by distancing himself from them the whole time he’s been grieving.
Act 4:
Climax / Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Rick and Sean are at the office. Sean asks him if they can talk and reveals that he’s been disappointed by the FBI’s lack of ability to stop the attacks, and that’s why he’s kept planning new ones in hopes that they’d finally get it right. He goes on to say that he set all this up in order to give the FBI the opportunity to practice stopping terrorist attacks, where the danger is real, which makes if a far more valuable exercise than some pre-planned fake scenario. So he tells Rick that this time there are ten targets he’s selected throughout the U.S., but he’ll tell him where they’re located, in hopes that this time they’ll be successful. All the bureau has to do, is find the perpetrator. He also warns Rick not to turn him in, because he sent his wife a “package” with a mask the same day he was called in to investigate the first attack, and that unbeknownst to her she’s been wearing it ever since. It currently looks like her, but if he activates it, it’ll change to look like someone else, and she’ll be instructed to plant a bomb at a certain location and stay there when it goes off. Unbeknownst to Rick, Sean activates his wife’s mask anyway, and she heads off to plant a bomb in a designated location.
Resolution
Rick and the rest of the agents throughout the country figure out how to identify the people Sean sent masks to, including his wife. Satisfied that the FBI has finally cracked the case, Sean makes his escape, with Rick in hot pursuit. The chase takes them to the top of a skyscraper, where Rick and Sean have their final showdown. Rick shoots him, which knocks Sean over the edge, and he plunges to his death. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom Medal with distinction for his meritorious service and is promoted to field office supervisor. The country is safe once more.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from this doing this assignment is how to set up an initial story structure for a screenplay.
Process 1
Concept
· Genre: Sci-Fi
· High Concept: A nameless villain uses masks to control the minds of the people he sends them to, in order to carry out terrorist acts throughout the U.S.
· Major Story Hook: Will the villain ever be revealed, and will he be stopped?
· Main Conflict: A series of terrorist attacks are carried out throughout the United States by ordinary citizens who have no recollection of what they’ve done or why. Special Agent Rick O’Brien of the FBI and his partner, Special Agent Sean Gray, are assigned to figure out who’s behind it all, and stop the attacks.
· Rick O’Brien’s Old Ways:
1. Rick is haunted by an incident where a hostage was killed during an operation he was in charge of.
2. He’s very distant from his family as a result, and it’s putting a considerable strain on his marriage and his relationship with his children.
3. Rick goes through the motions at work and has been reprimanded more than once for it.
4. Rick has a paralyzing fear of heights.
Rick O’Brien’s New Ways
1. Rick comes to grips with the incident not being his fault, due to his catching the mastermind behind the terrorist attacks.
2. He draws close to his family once again now that he’s at peace.
3. Rick receives the Presidential Freedom Medal with distinction for bringing the terrorist mastermind to justice and is promoted to field office supervisor.
4. Rick conquers his fear of heights after a climatic confrontation with the terrorist mastermind on top of a skyscraper.
Act 1:
Opening
A prologue that shows Rick in charge of a hostage situation that goes horribly wrong. After a tense negotiation, the kidnapper kills both the hostage and Rick’s partner, and escapes into the night.
We get a look into Rick’s home life six months later, which is not good. He keeps to himself, and hardly says anything to his wife or his children.
A 30 something year-old woman walks into a mall and carries a large handbag. She ducks into a hallway on the third floor behind some of the stores. A security guard confronts her. She overpowers him and drags him to a supply closet, where she leaves him and the bag. The woman exits the mall, after which a huge explosion goes off. Suddenly the woman’s face shimmers, and a mask falls to the ground. The woman, whose face looks different from the mask she was wearing, looks around in bewilderment and horror, and runs off.
Inciting Incident
There’s a knock at Rick’s door. It’s his boss standing there with another agent. He tells him he’s needed to consult on a new case that requires his expertise. Rick balks at it, telling him his leave of absence is for six more months. His boss tells him it’s just for this one case, and Rick reluctantly agrees.
At the mall, Rick investigates the crime scene. He finds the mask the woman was wearing and looks at the blast site. He struggles to stay calm as the blast site is on the third floor of the mall, and he’s afraid of heights.
Turning Point
A second terrorist attack occurs much like the first in a different city, except it involves a 60 year-old man depositing a brief case in the bathroom stall of an office building. He emerges from the building right before a massive explosion goes off at one of the floors near the top of the building. His face shimmers, a mask falls to the ground and he runs off in terror. Rick’s boss goes by his house and tells him he’s been reactivated due to the case now involving a serial terrorist.
Act 2:
New Plan
Rick arrives at the field office, and is introduced to his new partner, Special Agent Sean Gray, who has a background in biomedical engineering and is analyzing the mask Rick found at the first crime scene. He says he’s uncovered the mask’s ability to control people’s minds, which starts when a person picks it up and looks at it in the eyes, and it forces them to put it on. Sean then demonstrates. It takes two other agents to pull it off his face. Rick and Sean get ready to head out to the next crime scene.
Plan in Action
Rick and Sean arrive at the crime scene. Rick again struggles with his fear of heights, as the blast site is on the 25<sup>th</sup> floor, and there’s a gaping hole in the building.
Midpoint Turning Point
After following a series of leads, Rick and Sean track down and arrest the mastermind behind the attacks.
Act 3:
Rethink Everything
Back at the office, Rick and Sean receive a flash drive in the mail. It has a video file with a message from the terror mastermind, stating that the person they caught at the second bombing was merely one of his pawns. The video then shows a news segment, showing how the man Rick and Sean arrested now looks completely different, and that the prison staff found a mask inside his cell, and that the man has now idea why he’s there. The terror mastermind then says that another attack is coming, and on a much larger scale.
New Plan
Rick and Sean tell all the local news outlets about the message they received, and to take appropriate security measures, as they race against the clock to try and stop a new wave of attacks.
Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift
Five medium sized cities suffer terrorist attacks, which is a complete surprise to Rick and Sean as major cities have been the targets up till now. Each city has the same scenario, with an anonymous perpetrator dropping off an explosive device in a heavily populated area, and leaving, followed by the mask they were wearing falling off their faces, leaving them completely unaware of what they just did.
Rick is devastated, and for the first time in months, opens up to his wife, who is more than ready to listen. She tells him he can’t quit, that the country needs him to find who’s behind the attacks and bring him to justice. He also reconnects with their kids and comes to realize what he’s been missing out on by distancing himself from them the whole time he’s been grieving.
Act 4:
Climax / Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Rick and Sean are at the office. Sean asks him if they can talk and reveals that he’s been disappointed by the FBI’s lack of ability to stop the attacks, and that’s why he’s kept planning new ones in hopes that they’d finally get it right. He goes on to say that he set all this up in order to give the FBI the opportunity to practice stopping terrorist attacks, where the danger is real, which makes if a far more valuable exercise than some pre-planned fake scenario. So he tells Rick that this time there are ten targets he’s selected throughout the U.S., but he’ll tell him where they’re located, in hopes that this time they’ll be successful. All the bureau has to do, is find the perpetrator. He also warns Rick not to turn him in, because he sent his wife a “package” with a mask the same day he was called in to investigate the first attack, and that unbeknownst to her she’s been wearing it ever since. It currently looks like her, but if he activates it, it’ll change to look like someone else, and she’ll be instructed to plant a bomb at a certain location and stay there when it goes off. Unbeknownst to Rick, Sean activates his wife’s mask anyway, and she heads off to find and plant a bomb in a designated location.
Resolution
Rick and the rest of the agents throughout the country figure out how to identify the people Sean sent masks to. Satisfied that the FBI has finally cracked the case, Sean makes his escape, with Rick in hot pursuit. The chase takes them to the top of a skyscraper, where Rick and Sean have their final showdown. Rick shoots him, which knocks Sean over the edge, and he plunges to his death. Rick is awarded the Presidential Freedom Medal with distinction for his meritorious service and is promoted to field office supervisor. The country is safe once more.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to add depth to a screenplay by applying certain sub-text plots, depending on what the story calls for.
Concept:
· Genre: Sci-Fi
· High Concept: A nameless villain uses masks to control the minds of the people he sends them to, in order to carry out terrorist acts through the U.S.
· Major Story Hook: Will the villain ever be revealed, and will he be stopped?
Subtext Plot: Layering
How this subtext plot will play out inside this story
There is a main character who ends up being the villain that we don’t suspect throughout the story. When his true identity is revealed, one will be able to look back at the events leading up to it and see that there were clues along the way indicating who the villain is.
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment was to set up a road map for the protagonist’s journey that goes from the beginning all the way to the end of the story.
Special Agent Rick O’Brien
Arc Beginning: FBI agent haunted by his past, assigned to stop a terrorist.
Arc Ending: His past is resolved; the terrorist is brought to justice.
Internal Journey: From depressed and nearly suicidal to confident and at peace.
External Journey: From being just another FBI agent, to being awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom with Distinction and being promoted to field office supervisor.
Old Ways:
Pessimistic about life, often feels
like he wants to end it all <div>Blames himself for a work related scenario
that ended tragicallyDistances himself from his family
Goes through the motions at work
New Ways:
Optimistic about the future </div>
Reconnects with his family
Inner demons over tragic scenario are
resolvedExemplary FBI agent
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My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to ensure the lead characters fit into the overall narrative of a screenplay
Character: Special Agent Rick O’Brien
Logline: Rick is a veteran FBI agent assigned to find and apprehend a nameless terrorist that’s wreaking havoc on the United States.
Unique: Rick has a photographic memory.
Character: The Nameless Terrorist
Logline: The terrorist sends masks he designs to control peoples’ thoughts to random citizens throughout the US, who then commit acts of terror as dictated by him.
Unique: The terrorist has significant filmmaking skills, and broadcasts videos of the incidents he sends people to carry out, complete with a musical score and his narration.
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Paul’s Title, Concept and Character Structure
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how to choose the structure of the conflict between the main characters in a screenplay.
Title: The Invisible Terrorist
Concept
· Genre: Sci-Fi
· High Concept: A nameless villain uses masks to control the minds of the people he sends them to, in order to carry out terrorist acts through the U.S.
· Major Story Hook: Will the villain ever be revealed, and will he be stopped?
Character Structure: Protagonist Vs Antagonist
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1. Paul Dees
2. I agree to the terms of this release form
3. GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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What gained from this presentation, is not to worry about perfection at first. Get those ideas out there, and then refine them as you go along, with the mindset that you are capable of writing well.
Good stuff!
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Hi folks,
I’m Paul Dees. I’m a writer/director/producer and I’ve written 4 feature length scripts, one of which is being packaged by a production company as we speak. I’ve also written around 15 fifteen short film scripts that I made into movies while I was in film school.
This is my first ScreenwritingU class, and I look forward to learning more about the entire writing process, from coming up with an idea all the way to pitching a script and getting it sold. In addition to being a filmmaker, I’m a singer and a guitar player, and I love playing and watching sports, cooking, reading, water skiing, rock climbing, and spending time with my wife and our two kids.
I’m excited to be a part of this class, and look forward to learning with all of you.
Cheers,
Paul
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I agree to the terms of the confidentiality agreement.