[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Skill Mastery Sheet.

What I learned doing this assignment. I had a few breakthroughs doing this assignment as it fills a lot of holes in your story.

1 What is Your Profound Truth?
In order to defeat evil, good men must become the creatures they fear and despise.

Simply ask yourself these questions and then allow the answers to emerge.
A. What is the message I want to get across to the audience? i.
To defeat evil a good man must reach into his worst fears and become something more formidable.
What is beneath that?
Be the savage that protects your family and friends from evil.
And what is beneath that?
Self sacrifice may be the only way to keep your loved ones safe.

B. What shift or change do I want my audience to experience during my movie?
Rise up and battle the evil in your life or it will destroy you.

What is the Transformational Journey?
Johnny and Billy Roper must face and overcome their horrific childhood trauma in order to reach the level of discipline they will need to destroy their captors and escape from “Apache” Purgatory with their souls.

Old Ways: This is the “Problem state.”

First to the gun, ends all problems.
Angels are immortal,only God can kill them.
There is a pecking order in life.
Men go to the Mission to sell their souls and do not return
Gold, women and whiskey are the most important things in an Outlaws life.
Always take care of yourself. No one else will.
Shoot first ask questions later.
God does not care.
The weaker man is an easy target.

Journey: A journey to La Paloma Blanca, a cursed Spanish mission. Those who go there do not return. A physical road to Purgatory and then Hell.

2.
New Ways: “Solution State”

Gold isn’t important.
Family and friends come first.
There is a God.
There is Evil in the world worse than I.
Evil must be battled and contained.
Sometimes a smile works better than a gun. ( irony )
The weaker man must be protected.
Angels are not immortal.

Journey: Trapped in Purgatory, Johnny and what’s left of his outlaw gang discover that they must adapt to this new world and face their deepest fears in order to become worthy of leaving.

TRANSFORMATONAL LOGLINE:
1. Transformable Character with an issue… – Billy Roper
2. …takes a journey that challenges him deeply… – travels to Purgatory (a cursed Spanish mission) in search of his stolen gold.
3. ..and concludes with the transformation.- and must find what’s important to him in order to escape with his soul.

Billy Roper in search of stolen gold finds himself in Purgatory and must find whats important to him in order to escape with his soul.

3. Who are Your Lead Characters?

Change Agents: Lupo / Johnny Roper -The character who represents the vision and who guides, persuades, pushes, or is the motivation for the Transformable Characters making their change.

TRANSFORMABLE CHARACTERS:

Billy Roper – Leader of the Outlaw gang. Billy must face his childhood trauma and do his best to live through the night and escape with his crew.

Adam – Youngest memeber of the Outlaws. Must prove his worth to himself as well as his gang.

Carlo – Must use his humor and wit to manuver his way through Purgatory and keep his friends safe.

Red – Must prove to himself and his dead ancestors that he is worthy and brave to ascend to the Sky World.

Goldie – The sage of the Outlaws must use his experience to keep himself and his Outlaws out of Hell.

The Transformable Character starts as us. They represent the audience. They also have the “Old ways” as their way of dealing with things and they need to change in order to accomplish a goal or resolve a problem that the movie is about.

BETRAYING CHARACTERS:

Red – Sells his soul to one of the Angels in order to regain his vision and heal his body.

Johnny – Has become a double agent. Sold his soul to the Hopi skinwalker and to the Angels in order to gain power. His goal is to destroy the Mission and kill the Fallen Angel that murdered his father.

As our Transformable Characters struggle through the change, there is often one character who can’t make the change and reverts to the Old Ways. Not being able to make the change is a “failure” for that character, so it is natural for them to go against the Transformable Character.

OPPRESSION:
Purgatory – La Paloma Blanca Mission ( the white dove )

Lord Balin ( fallen angel ) – The ruling Fallen Angel of Purgatory, who is recruiting and building an army of Men turned to Demons/Vampires to destroy all of mankind.

The purpose of this force is to create a “pressure-cooker environment” that demands a response.

4. FOUR MAIN WAYS TO CONNECT WITH THE AUDIENCE:

A. Relatability – They Are Us!

Billy – Transformational Character – The youngest of the two Roper brothers.

A. Relatability – He is the youngest of two and feels the pressure to perform in front of his older brother and his father. In our opening scene he is trying to learn from his older brother and can’t quite grasp the lesson We feel for him. He also tries to help his older brother and gets pushed away. Billy is frightened but want’s to help when they find themselves surrounded by Apache. He is told to hide in the rocks. He takes his father’s rifle but is to frightened to shoot. When he finally tries the chamber is empty. Billy watches as his father and brother are thrown against the rocks and defeated by a fallen Angel.

B. Intrigue. At the end of the first scene Billy has watched his father and brother from a hiding place. He has felt useless and afraid to move. Guilt, fear, and hate build as he is called out of his hiding place. He sees his dead father and unconcious brother and is told to leave. 8 year old Billy rides away from the canyon into Apache indian country by himself. What will happen to him?

C. Empathy: Billy is a pleaser. He tries his best with his brother and fails. He is pushed aside when they are attacked and told to hide. Billy grabs his father’s rifle and pulls the trigger ( there isn’t a bullet in the chamber and he gives away his hiding place) trying to save his brother and father. Billy rides away from the scene leaving the only protection he had. He is now vulnerable and alone in a dangerous place with spiritual creatures unknown to him.

D. Likability: Younger Billy tries to help. He tries to protect his brother from his father’s scolding. He vows revenge upon the Angel who killed his father and brother.

Older Billy- The next scene we find Billy late to a bank robbery. He gives a townsperson a warning look instead of shooting him and waves the man away from his fellow outlaws. He helps a gut shot outlaw on to his horse instead of leaving him to die. Billy has grown up and survived. But how?

Johnny – Change Agent – Oldest of the two Roper brothers.

A. Relatability: Johnny is the older brother who is responsible for taking care of his younger brother. He tries to teach him what he knows even if he hasn’t quite got the hang of it himself. He makes mistakes and takes the brunt of his father’s scorn. He will do anything to please his father and repeats his father’s words to make sure he gets the message. He stands side by side with his father when they are surrounded by Apache and shoots to kill an unstoppable foe as his father dies next to him.

B. Intrigue: Johnny is afraid but he takes action and tries to kill the attacking Angel. He vows to protect his little brother. He has honor and courage.

C. Empathy: Johnny is the older brother who is expected to be a man yet must take care of his younger brother. He shouldn’t be in the situation his father has placed him. He does his best to protect Billy and fails.

D. Likability: Younger Johnny makes mistakes and stumbles through things like all young children trying to walk in their father’s footsteps. He does his best to protect Billy before he is knocked out. Billy has been saved from the immediate danger.

Older Johnny still tries to protect his Billy. He gives him clues to survive the Mission and how to escape. He is fearless and determined to save Billy and revenge his father at all costs.

BILLY – The youngest of the two Roper Boys. He does his best to keep up with his father and older brother. He fails and doesn’t understand the lessons beign taught.
He watches a fallen Angel kill his brother and father. He is left to wander in the Apache Badlands.

Johnny – The older of the two Roper boys. He does his best to follw his father’s commands and keep his younger brother in line. He hides his younger brother from harm and then watches his father die. Trying to protect himself and his brother he tries to kill the Angel that murdered his father. He is punished.

B. Intrigue

Billy- How will a young boy survive alone in the Apache Badlands? 18 years later we find Billy and his gang of outlaws in Mexico City robbing a bank. He and his men escape into the desert with a regiment of Mexican Soldiers on their trail. How will they escape?

C. Empathy

Billy – Billy is a fighter who has learned to draw his gun first and ask questions later. He is afraid of heights, selfish, a bit of a cheat and hot headed.

Johnny – Johnny reappears in the second act and saves Billy from a battle he would loose. His main goal is to keep Billy alive and to revenge his father against the Angel who killed him.

D. Likability

Billy – Billy has flaws and a dry sense of humor. He knows what has kept him alive until now. Everything that BIlly knows has changed. We see him try the new ways and fight the Old ways.

Johnny – Billy is the epitomy of what an older brother should be. Tough, smart,with a been there done that type of attitude. He only wants two things now that he’s been reunited with his younger brother. Keep Billy safe and revenge his father.

5. THE THREE GRADIENTS OF CHANGE GRADIENT
1. THE EMOTIONAL GRADIENT
A. The “Forced Change” Emotional Gradient
B. THE “DESIRED CHANGE” EMOTIONAL GRADIENT;

EXCITEMENT: Greed, Billy is excited to get the gold and isn’t worried about a Cursed Mission.
Challenge: He now faces his problems without ammo in his gun.
Weakness: Ignorance, He finds himself in trouble and chooses to use shoot his opponent with his own gun.

DOUBT: EGO, Billy will have to fight for his life. the Angels are real and they are in Hell.
Challenge: Make it through the night without fighting, dying or selling their souls.
Weakness: They don’t understand the rules. The group is beginning to splinter.

HOPE: TheOutlaws hear of a way to escape. Billy has seen enough, they abandon the gold.
Challenge: They must find the tunnels without being discovered.
Weakness: THey fell for a trap. The Outlaws are split up and lost inside the cave system.

DISCOURAGEMENT: FEAR, Billy is captured. Confusion His captor isn’t what he seems and gives BIlly a choice. Die or join him against the Angels.
Challenge: There’s no way they can defeat the Angels and their hordes of demons.
Weakness: Billy doesn’t believe, but he chooses to help. He must die first.

COURAGE: Billy wakes with healed wounds.The Hopi indian has a plan.
Challenge: He joins the fight and challenges his brother to a death match to save one of his outlaws.
Challenge: Keep himself and his outlaw gang alive till morning.
Weakness: Two of his gang memebers are already dead. One has turned to the dark side and there are more Demons than originally mentioned.

TRIUMPH: All is going in Billy’s favor.
Challenge: Fight Through the demons to get to the Angels without dying. Billy must summon his Shape shifting animal.
Weakness: Billy doesn’t know how to kill the Angels. His brother dies in front of him.

GRADIENT 2. THE ACTION GRADIENT
Purpose: To take your characters through a sequence of actions that will naturally produce the change.
Once you’ve selected an Emotional Gradient (forced or desired), then it is time to lay out the actions the characters will take as they go through this journey.
1. What I learned: I learned that my original Profound truth may not be what works best for my story. I’ve had to brainstorm more on what I want to say.

2. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending? You were created for a purpose. Hone your skills and leave your mark on the world. or Failing to plan is planning to fail.

3. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
CA – Johnny – Dies leaving his brother with all the tools he needs to suceed in life.
TC – Billy – Succeeds in defeating the Angels after abandoning his gun and staying six steps ahead.

4. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
– opening scene Billy fails to learn a lesson.
John Sr. tells his boys, “Failing to plan is planning to fail. Stay six steps ahead if you’re two.”
– Billy watches his father and brother die trying to protect him. His father didn’t have a plan.
– Billy and the Outlaws rob the bank of Mexico. Billy has set up an escape route and leads his gang to safety.
– Billy splits up the Outlaws and plans their reunion in a place no one would go.
– Billy fails to plan ahead as they enter the Mission. The outlaws are trapped.
– Johnny isn’t dead and he saves Billy from a challenge.
– Johnny and Lupo has planned for the day of his brother’s arrival.
– Johnny dies in the fight and tells Billy he made a mistake Lord Balin can’t be defeated.
– Billy is driven to continue the fight and revenge his brother and father.
– Billy overcomes his fear or heights and uses the knot his brother tried to teach him in the opening scene to defeat Lord Balin.
– With Johnny in a coffin, Billy and his surviving Outlaws are allowed to ride out of Hell.
– As Billy’s wagon crosses over the salt wall we see inside Johnny’s coffin. Johnny’s hands begin to twitch. “Six steps if you’re two”

5. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
– My story makes it clear that “Nobody has ever returned from the Spanish Mission.
– Show that all the characters at the Mission are the souls of their original selves.
– Explain Dante’s Nine Levels of Hell
– The Mission burns – Simulating Hell.
– The Apache keep everyone inside.
– They crossed the river Styx to enter the mission.

6. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?

Inside the coffin we see Johnny’s hand twitch as they cross the wagon crosses over the salt wall. “Six steps ahead if you’re two. Failing to plan is planning to fail.”

Essentially, you are going to brainstorm the actions and counter-actions that fit into the three parts of your Transformational Logline.
SETUP
● Actions fit their normal way of being. JOURNEY
● ● ● ● ●
PAYOFF
What are the final actions that cause us to experience the transformation?
Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Purpose: To have your characters confront and solve the weaknesses that would normally keep them from achieving this goal, thus causing a leap in their performance.
UNCOVERING WEAKNESSES
Strangely enough, you need to discover your character’s weaknesses and force them to face them. Remember, it is okay for you to uncover your characters weaknesses. And it is okay for your characters to fail early on when the Old Ways don’t work.
Here’s how to do it:
Step 1. Think about this character. What weaknesses would they naturally have?
The journey is initiated.
Initial actions that fit the journey.
When that doesn’t work, what actions do they take? When that doesn’t work, what actions do they take? Etc.

Step 2. As the story progresses, what weaknesses will show up because the stakes and pressure has increased? These will often be related to the main steps in the movie.
List them this way: Challenge: Weakness:
Next Challenge: Next Weakness:
Next Challenge: Next Weakness:

6. TRANSFORMATIONAL STRUCTURE 4-ACT STRUCTURE:

Act 1:

Opening: Johnny is teaching his younger brother Billy knots, while tending to the horses.

Inciting Incident: Indians/ Attack of BALIN – John Sr. protects his two sons and is mortally wounded. He tells Johnny to watch over his youunger brother. Johnny tries to hide Billy from Balin.

Turning Point: Johnny fires his pistol trying to kill the monsterbefore him. He is trown against the rocks next to his dead father. Billy is allowed to leave.

Act 2:

New plan: Save Billy from the evil of the Angels and their demons. Billy fails and doesn’t listen to Johnny.

Plan in action: Johnny repremands Billy in order to save him from retribution. ( last brotherly warning )

Midpoint Turning Point: Johnny chooses an Angel and takes the bite. ( He has one more bite before turning immmortal. )

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Billy isn’t following Johnny’s lead and is failing.

New plan: Get Billy and his Outlaws out of town. Informs him of the escape tunnels. Hide till morning.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Billy and his Outlaws fail to escape and are captured by different factions of the Demon army. Billy is captured by Lupo. Johnny feeds for the first time and gains new insite and streangth to his Angel powers.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Johnny embraces the new power of the Angels and Lupo has set a plan of action into place to defeat the Angels. He uses his Skinwalker power combined with his Angel powers.

New Plan: The fight is on. Billy, Johnny, Lupo, the Outlaws and the townspeople fight back against the Angels and their depmon army.

Climax: Johnny is mortally wounded saving one of Billy’s outlaws.Billy swears he’ll leave but goes after Lord balin instead.

Ultimate Expression of the conflict.: Johnny dies after giving his brother the tools to survive. Billy takes up his brother’s cause.

Resolution: Billy kills Lord Balin without using his gun.

New staus quo: Billy Kills Balin and his demons freeing the town. Billy and company escape Hell.

7.CHALLENGING THE OLD WAYS
A. Challenge through Questioning.

1. Trying to do something fast isn’t always the best way. Challenge: Slow down, plan your actions and get ahead of the problem.

2. Being quick to the Gun is the easy way to solve a problem. Challenge: Shooting someone is causing more problems. What if you Billy didn’t shoot someone and found another way to solve the problem?

3. The Outlaws who rob the bank got themselves into a mess. Challenge. It wouldn’t have been that way if they would have waited for Billy.

4. Revenge is the norm for killing. Challenge: Revenge doesn’t solve the problem it only extends it.

5. Indiginous People are lower than dogs and shouldn’t be allowed in the Saloon. Challenge: What if the Angels are afraid of what Red is capable of and know that he is a true enemy.

6. Angels and demons are from fairy tales as is Hell. Challenge: What if the stories are true? What if we are all living in Hell?

7. Gold, fortune, fame and becoming immortal is what everyone wants. Challenge: Not if you are trapped in Hell and the cost is your soul.

8. Only good can destroy Evil. Challenge – How evil does one have to be to destroy God’s Fallen Angels.

9. Stereotypes are unspoken social truths. Challenge: What if they are not.

10. Are we victims of our father’s failures? Challenge: What if we can rise above and show our father’s failures were our most valuable lessons.

Remember, the purpose of challenges is to call the Old Way into doubt. By first having us doubt the Old Way, it makes it much easier for us to accept the New Way.
To question something doesn’t mean that it has to be a literal question. It could be a statement like “Something is missing here” or a question like “How is it possible for you to do X and Y at the same time?”
1. Start with the Old Ways that your character is exhibiting.
2. Brainstorm a list of the assumptions, views, and filters that represent the
foundation of the Old Ways.
3. Call the foundation and the Old Ways into question, thus causing doubt
about them.

B. CHALLENGE BY COUNTEREXAMPLE

1. Being quick to the gun solves every challenge.
Counter Example: What if you didn’t have your gun? How would you survive? Smile more? Find another alternative to violence.

2. Women are heartless and self serving beasts more ruthless and deadly then men.
Counter Example: Grace rescues Adam and tries to help him escape.

3. What is Hell? Dante’s Inferno
Counter Example: Hell can be anywhere. A town, a relationship, a person, a desert, a saloon, a home, It’s all in how you perceive it.

4. The child suffers from the inequities of the father.
Counter Example: But what if you learned from your father’s mistakes? What if his failure made you stronger?

5. All Indians are killers.
Counter Example: What if they were trying to save humanity all along. What if the Apache were the gatekeepers to hell and were fighting to keep Hell’s demons and the evil inside?

6. Outlaws only care about themselves.
Counter Example: What if they were just trying to make the lives of their loved ones better and stealing from those who had more wealth than they could possibly need?

7. The Irish are cowards.
Counter Example: The Irish left Ireland because of a the ENglish and a potato famine. They braved the Seas to come to America where things were just as hard.

8. Mankind was a curse on the Angels and a mistake made by God.

Counter Example: Man is not responsible for the Angel’s punishment. Both Man and Angels were given the freedom of choice. Both Mankind and Angels must be held accuntable by good Angels and men.

D. LIVING METAPHORS

1. Old Way – Being first to the gun is the best way to handle a situation.

Challenges:
Example: #1 Billy shoots the Apache when he hears they have killed his men.He never hears why. – They might have heard that they should not go to the Mission.
Example #2 Adam shoots a rattlesnake and spooks Goldie’s horse. Goldie gets throown off. Goldie punishes Adam.
Example #3 Billy shoots Hernandez twice with Hernandez’s own pistol. – Billy suffers the consequences of his actions with Balin and is savesd by Johnny.
Example #4 Grace’s father didn’t fire his weapon and ended up dead. – New way doesn’t always work.
Example #5 Billy tries to kill Lord Turin Almost gets himself and his outlaws killed.

New Way Challenge –
Adam uses iron chain to Kill Lady Lilith – His plan works.
Billy uses a chair to kill the demon Hernandez – It works.
Johnny uses his gun to kill a demon with no effect. He switches to a tomahawk and kills Lilith’s Asian Monk.
Red and Johnny kill Lord Turin with an iron chain.
Billy shoots oil lamps instead of people and starts to burn down the town.
Grace uses oil to burn/kill Lady Lilith.
Billy kills Lord Balin with a iron spike and a slip knot.

2. Old Way – We’re trapped in Hell. “Once you’re in Hell, you’re there until you’re soul is destroyed. (No One leaves Hell)
Example #1 The Mexico City robbery becomes a hell for the Outlaws as they try to escape.
Example #2 They crossed over the river ( Styxx ) on their way to the Mission
Example #3 The Mission is a place where men go to sell thier souls for gold, glory and immortality.
Example #4 They cross over the circle of salt and Apache magic.
Example #5 The Apache keep all who enter inside. ( gate keepers )
Example #6 The Devil’s Canyon is a place where Angels and Gods go to Die.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Dante wrote about 9 levels.
#2 What if the world in which they came from was Hell?
#3 If we can go on to deeper level of Hell why can’t we go back to where we were or choose another level?
#4 They cross over the Salt wall without Apache’s stopping them.
#5 The Demons of the Angel Azizel are in a Hell of their own ( below the Mission in a cage ) and released to fight the Outlaws.
#6 The Mission becomes a burning inferno killing all the evil that resides there.
#7 The townspeople fight against the evil of the Demons and Fallen Angels.

3. Old Way – Killing for Gold, Glory and Immortality is a worthy cause. Killing is evil.

Example #1 Johnny is rewarded for killing Sun
Example #2 Victors are rewarded with power
Example #3 Victors are rewarded with Immortality
Example #4 Killers are rewarded with being able to kill until killed.
Example #5 Survival of the fittest.

NEW WAY CHALLENGE:
#1 Wild Jim fights to save the world from Evil. He isn’t interested in Glory or Gold. His evil tendencies help him defeat evil.
#2 Lupo is an Immortal/ Skinwalker but fights to save his people from the evil of the Angels. He gave up his life to save his people. His evil powers will be used to fight evil.
#3 Johnny becomes immortal to revenge his father and destroy the Evil Angel that killed his father. Gold means nothing to him. He wants the power so he can destroy evil.
#4 Billy finds that no amount of gold, glory can bring his family and loved ones back the dead. He realizes his best way forward is to help his brother and fight trying to kill the Angels.
#5 Killing to end suffering is humane.

4. Old Way – The inequities of the father are felt by their sons.

Example #1 John Sr. failed to plan and his sons will suffer.
Example #2 Grace followed her father’s trail to the Mission and is now a slave to Lady Liltih.
Example #3 Johnny has suffered at the Mission for 18 years trying to find a way to revenge his father.
Example #4 Billy became an outlaw because his father wasn’t there to guide him.
Example #5 The Angels failed their father and were banished forever.

New way Challenge:
#1. Billy is stronger because of his fathers lessons and what he learned by his father’s failure.
#2. Johnny gets his revenge.
#3. Billy has used his father’s ideas to keep him alive.
#4. Grace uses her father’s faith to beat lady Lilith.

5 Old Way – Men are more dangerous than woman.

Example 1. Men rule the world.
Example 2. No women in our gang.
Example 3. Women make baskets and fetch water
Example 4. Men take care of women.
Example 5. A woman gets married so she can be taken care of.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Grace has survived for 3 years in the Mission
#2 Lady Lilith controls her own army of demons.
#3 Elizabeth The Butcher challenges Carlo
#4 The battle of Troy was caused by a woman.
#5 Queen Elizabeth ruled England for 40 years
#6 Viking Shield Maidens fought along side their men
#7 Mary Tudor ” Bloody Mary”

8. PRESENT INSIGHTS OF THE NEW WAYS THROUGH PROFOUND MOMENTS

1. Family is all you have. Take care of eachother.
Examples: Father tells Johnny to watch over his brother Billy.
Johnny stands in for a challenge and saves his brother’s life.
Billy realizes that his Gang of outlaws has become his family. He tries to save their lives.

2. Hell can be anywhere you make it.
Examples:
The Devil’s bowl is a small sample of Hell.
Crossing the river STYXX .
The Spanish Mission is Hell. Below the Spanish Mission is a labrinth of caves. ( a lower level of Hell ) Hell is relevant to your circumstances.

3. Being first to the gun brings more trouble.
Examples:
Johnny shoots Balin and becomes his captive.
Billy shoots the Apache Leader and doesn’t learn about the Spanish Mission.
Adam shoots a rattle snake and spooks Goldie’s horse. Gets reprimanded.
Billy shoots Capt. Hernandez and must pay the penatly for shedding blood in the Temple of Balin.

4. Your God given talents were bestowed upon you for a reason.
Examples:
Billy is good with a gun. He uses it to get what he wants and to get himself out of trouble.
Billy is always 6 steps ahead. His planning keeps him alive.
Adam doesn’t believe in himself. When he develops a plan, it works.
Grace isn’t good with a gun but she’s amazing with a sword.
Goldie is full of wisdom from his past. He develops his skills and they keep him alive.

5. Be careful of who posseses your soul. You are the captain of your ship.
Examples:
Johnny sells his soul multiple times to get revenge and has no way out of Hell.
Red sells his soul to heal his wounds. Becomes the ward of Lady Lilith.
Wild Bill refuses to sell his soul and dies a horrible death.
Grace’s father refused to fight and was torn to pieces.
Goldie refuses to sell his soul and is saved by Billy who sold his soul to Loki.
Grace stays pure and refuses to sell her soul.

6. Forgive your father for his inequalities, his lessons good or bad will last forever.
Examples:
John Sr. died trying to protect his sons. His lessons remained strong in both of his sons and helped them survive.
The Angels betrayed God. Yet they still know his ways.
Grace followed her father to the Mission to save him. She survived on the lessons he taught her.

7. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Examples:
Billy and Johnny are taught to stay six steps ahead. They continue to use it throughout their adult hood and it keeps them alive.
Billy plans an alternative escape route in the Mexico City robbery. They escape.
Goldie recognizes Billy’s plan to distract the crowd during his Duel with Johnny. You’re Six if you’re two!!
Billy distracts Lord Balin with an empty gun to get close enough to impale him with an iron spike.

8. Even the most evil of beings experience fear.
Examples: The most evil beings in Hell, fear their maker.

B. CONFLICT DELIVERS INSIGHT.

1. Argument-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
I want to make it clear that being first to the gun isn’t always the best way for a man to proceed.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in. – Argument.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict. Adam shots a rattlesnake which could have bit Goldie’s horse. Goldie is thrown from his horse. Goldie drags Adam off his horse and throeatens to kill him if he ever points his gun in his direction again. Goldie extends his threat to the rest of gang.

2. Loss-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Loss of a loved one makes you realize how much they mean to you.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Loss- Billy mourns the loss of his Father, his Outlaw brothers and his Brother Johnny.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Billy looses his father and never forgets his lessons. Billy looses his outlaw friends and seeks revenge. Billy looses his brother and vows to take him out of hell and revenge his father.

3. Physical confrontation. –
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Friendships are important.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Physical confrontation- Now on opposite sides Billy and Red fight eachother in the streets of Hell. Billy and Johnny fight in the streets of Hell.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Both fights show Johnny and the outlaws how imortant they are to eachother.

4. Accused-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Adam is accused of knowing Billy and the outlaws. He will deny them three times before the cock crows.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Accused- Frightened for his life, Adam denies knowing his outlaw cohorts. He lives long enough to realize they will do anything for him.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Adam challenges Goldie to a duel knowing he will be killed. But he does it to save someone who tried to save him.

5. Competition-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver? Ego is the destroyer of men.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Competition- Men duel and fight for the right to become a demon in the Angel’s army of doom.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Gunfights and challenges are used to gain status. Billy and his gang use it to survive and take revenge upon the Angels.

C. Irony delivers insight.

1. Irony – using Motivation to get a desired outcome fails.
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Lord Turin motivated Johnny to kill his brother with a position of General in his Army of doom/ Family is more important than status.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
Instead of trying to kill eachother the two brothers destroy the Mission and burn down the town.

2. Irony – Greed
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
The Outlaws go to the mission to recover their stolen gold. / They depart the mission with something more valuable. ( their souls )

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
The Angels have set the mission up for recruiting soldiers for their demon army. They didn’t expect the outlaws to fight back and destroy their mission and their plans to destroy mankind.

3. Irony – Jesus died to rise again and save the world.

Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
BIlly has to die and be born again to become a skin walker. Lupo makes a joke out of BIlly dying.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Billy must be reborn in order to fight his way out of Hell and defeat the Angels. / You must shed your old skin in order to grow into what you need to become.

4. Irony- Motivation/ Revenge
Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
Johnny has devoted himself to revenge against the angel that killed his father.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Johnny dies realizing that his brother’s life was more important than revenging his father. / Life is more important than revenge.

5. Irony -Is Immortality a gift or a curse?

Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
The Angels promise their future prospects the gilft of Immortality if they kill their way to the top.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
The immortality that the Angels deliver is one of a living hell that cannot be escaped unless they are burned, or killed with salt, iron or wood.

9. PROFOUND DIALOGUE Two Ways to create Profound Dialogue:

Pattern A: Height of the Emotion

1. Billy just watched his father die trying to protect him and his bother Johnny. Lord Balin has no pitty and nods to John Sr. "The sons of man shall suffer for the iniquity of their fathers." – This line sets up the final scene of the film.

2. Adam shoots a rattle snake about to strike Goldies horse. Goldie pulls Adam from his horse and threatens to kill him. Billy lightens the mood. "Maybe you should have smiled at it." – This becomes Billy’s onging attempt to use his head instead of his guns.

3. John Sr. gives his two sons a life lesson. "Slow down, think before you move. You need to stay six steps ahead if you’re two." – This lesson has kept both Billy and Johnny alive and plays multiple times in the story to emphisize their father’s lesson to survive.

4. Billy shoots a man and readies the gang by telling them… "Time to pull your iron’s boys, cause this shit hole is about to get hairy!" – This line is meant to lighten the moment and pump up the reader for what is to come.

5. Carlo realizes that they are out-gunned and out-manned. "We’re going to need more bullets." – This is a play on Jaws. "We’re going to need a bigger boat." Adding humor to action and suspense.

6. Right before Red pulls the trigger, he tells Billy… " I have proven my courage and am now worthy of my people. I hope to see you in the Sky World my brother. " – This line is to signify that Red knows they are in Hell/ Purgatory and he is now worthy of passing to the Sky World.

7. Lord Balin makes fun of Lupo’s group. "An old wolf, a baby squirrel, eight boney Apache and two pitiful humans. You almost look like the fresco from the Last Supper. " – Another line to enhance the scene with humor and to add Religion to the scene.

8. Billy pulls a dying Johnny from the rubble. Johnny takes his last breaths. "It’s okay little brother. Outlaws don’t die old. They burn white hot and die young." – Johnny is telling his brother that he is okay to die. He went out fighting. Just like his father.

10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. DELIVER THE PROFOUND TRUTH PROFOUNDLY

A bad man can redeem himself and rise above the evil he has sown.

“What final scenes can be the ULTIMATE PAYOFF of my Profound Truth? ”

Johnny dies fighting for his cause.
Billy goes after Lord Balin and defeats him.
Billy and his gang give the gold to the villagers.
The Apache let them pass over the salt wall.
The Outlaws cross over the salt wall and disintegrate like dust. The next scenes show where they died fleeing the Mexican Soldiers after fleeing the bank robbery.

B. LEAD CHARACTER’S ENDING REPRESENTS THE CHANGE
Your Transformable Characters have gone through a major change in their lives. Your Change Agent has likely experienced some shifts just because they invested in the other character’s lives.
The question becomes, “How does their ending represent the change they’ve made in a powerful way?” Or “What was the change this movie is about and how does that show up when your lead characters conclude the journey?”

C. PAYOFF KEY SETUPS

Bily dies to becomes a monster and join his brother.
Billy uses the iron spike and the slip knot to kill Lord Balin.
Billy no longer wants the gold.
BIlly is no longer selfish and cares for his friends.
Billy takes Johnny’s body with them out of Purgatory.
Billy and Johnny learn from their father’s sins and use them to defeat Lord Balin.
Johnny gets his revenge
Johnny is saved by his brother. ( Irony)
Johnny became a monster to defeat a monster.
Adam finds his brave side
Adam finds a woman to love.
Carlo dies listening to music.
Carlo is correct that women are just as savage as men.
Red proves his worth to his Ancestors.
Lord Balin is not immortal.
Lord Balin dies fighting what he was supposed to cherish and watch over.
Lord Balin blood opens the cript to Lord Azizel, which continues the realm of Purgatory.

D. SURPRISING, BUT INEVITABLE

Billy is about to be killed by Lord Balin but defeats him.

The Outlaws have survived and are allowed to exit the Mission.

The Mission is/was Purgatory .

The Outlaws were dead the whole time.

They died in the high desert trying to escape the Mexican Soldiers.

They escape purgatory because they have proven that their souls are worthy to ascend.

E. LEAVE US WITH A PROFOUND PARTING IMAGE/LINE

When the Outlaws and Grace cross over the white salt wall they turn to dust.

We see where each of them fell and died trying to escape.

The last moments of film show Billy laying in the desert. We focus on his face. Billy gasps for air and his eyes open.

The End.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Height of the emotion.

What I learned doing this assignment – Great film and good stories leave the viewer with something to remember, something that changes their lives and gives them something to talk about. This may not be the case with my profound dialoge, but who knows.

Eight Most Emotional Moments in my screenplay:

1. Billy just watched his father die trying to protect him and his bother Johnny. Lord Balin has no pitty and nods to John Sr. "The sons of man shall suffer for the iniquity of their fathers." – This line sets up the final scene of the film.

2. Adam shoots a rattle snake about to strike Goldies horse. Goldie pulls Adam from his horse and threatens to kill him. Billy lightens the mood. "Maybe you should have smiled at it." – This becomes Billy's onging attempt to use his head instead of his guns.

3. John Sr. gives his two sons a life lesson. "Slow down, think before you move. You need to stay six steps ahead if you're two." – This lesson has kept both Billy and Johnny alive and plays multiple times in the story to emphisize their father's lesson to survive.

4. Billy shoots a man and readies the gang by telling them… "Time to pull your iron's boys, cause this shit hole is about to get hairy!" – This line is meant to lighten the moment and pump up the reader for what is to come.

5. Carlo realizes that they are out-gunned and out-manned. "We're going to need more bullets." – This is a play on Jaws. "We're going to need a bigger boat." Adding humor to action and suspense.

6. Right before Red pulls the trigger, he tells Billy… " I have proven my courage and am now worthy of my people. I hope to see you in the Sky World my brother. " – This line is to signify that Red knows they are in Hell/ Purgatory and he is now worthy of passing to the Sky World.

7. Lord Balin makes fun of Lupo's group. "An old wolf, a baby squirrel, eight boney Apache and two pitiful humans. You almost look like the fresco from the Last Supper. " – Another line to enhance the scene with humor and to add Religion to the scene.

8. Billy pulls a dying Johnny from the rubble. Johnny takes his last breaths. "It's okay little brother. Outlaws don’t die old. They burn white hot and die young." – Johnny is telling his brother that he is okay to die. He went out fighting. Just like his father.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Paul Penley.
• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's, Delivering Irony

What I learned: This excersize opened up a few scenes and allowed me to build them better. .

With your list of the New Ways / Insights you want audiences to experience, go through these steps:

1. Irony – using Motivation to get a desired outcome fails.
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Lord Turin motivated Johnny to kill his brother with a position of General in his Army of doom/ Family is more important than status.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
Instead of trying to kill eachother the two brothers destroy the Mission and burn down the town.

2. Irony – Greed
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
The Outlaws go to the mission to recover their stolen gold. / They depart the mission with something more valuable. ( their souls )

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
The Angels have set the mission up for recruiting soldiers for their demon army. They didn't expect the outlaws to fight back and destroy their mission and their plans to destroy mankind.

3. Irony – Jesus died to rise again and save the world.

Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
BIlly has to die and be born again to become a skin walker. Lupo makes a joke out of BIlly dying.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Billy must be reborn in order to fight his way out of Hell and defeat the Angels. / You must shed your old skin in order to grow into what you need to become.

4. Irony- Motivation/ Revenge
Step 1. Where could you build opposite experiences into your screenplay?
Johnny has devoted himself to revenge against the angel that killed his father.

Step 2. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver through them?
Johnny dies realizing that his brother's life was more important than revenging his father. / Life is more important than revenge.

5. Irony -Is Immortality a gift or a curse?

Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
The Angels promise their future prospects the gilft of Immortality if they kill their way to the top.

Step 2. How could you deliver that insight through opposite experiences?
The immortality that the Angels deliver is one of a living hell that cannot be escaped unless they are burned, or killed with salt, iron or wood.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Delivers insights through conflict.

What I learned doing this assignment. ScreenwritingU gives the writer pne more arrow for their quiver. This execise helped me hone in on a way to devolope insight.

My list of the New Ways / Insights I want my audiences to experiences:

1. Argument-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
I want to make it clear that being first to the gun isn't always the best way for a man to proceed.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in. – Argument.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict. Adam shots a rattlesnake which could have bit Goldie's horse. Goldie is thrown from his horse. Goldie drags Adam off his horse and throeatens to kill him if he ever points his gun in his direction again. Goldie extends his threat to the rest of gang.

2. Loss-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Loss of a loved one makes you realize how much they mean to you.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Loss- Billy mourns the loss of his Father, his Outlaw brothers and his Brother Johnny.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Billy looses his father and never forgets his lessons. Billy looses his outlaw friends and seeks revenge. Billy looses his brother and vows to take him out of hell and revenge his father.

3. Physical confrontation. –
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Friendships are important.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Physical confrontation- Now on opposite sides Billy and Red fight eachother in the streets of Hell. Billy and Johnny fight in the streets of Hell.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Both fights show Johnny and the outlaws how imortant they are to eachother.

4. Accused-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver?
Adam is accused of knowing Billy and the outlaws. He will deny them three times before the cock crows.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Accused- Frightened for his life, Adam denies knowing his outlaw cohorts. He lives long enough to realize they will do anything for him.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Adam challenges Goldie to a duel knowing he will be killed. But he does it to save someone who tried to save him.

5. Competition-
Step 1. What is the New Way / Insight you want to deliver? Ego is the destroyer of men.
Step 2. What kind of conflict could that insight show up in.
Competition- Men duel and fight for the right to become a demon in the Angel's army of doom.
Step 3. Brainstorm ways you might deliver the insight through the conflict.
Gunfights and challenges are used to gain status. Billy and his gang use it to survive and take revenge upon the Angels.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Turn Insights Into Actions.

What I learned doing this assignment. This excersize helped me develope a better approach to express my insights.

New Ways and Insights for my audience to experience.

1. Family is all you have. Take care of eachother.
Examples: Father tells Johnny to watch over his brother Billy.
Johnny stands in for a challenge and saves his brother's life.
Billy realizes that his Gang of outlaws has become his family. He tries to save their lives.

2. Hell can be anywhere you make it.
Examples:
The Devil's bowl is a small sample of Hell.
Crossing the river STYXX .
The Spanish Mission is Hell. Below the Spanish Mission is a labrinth of caves. ( a lower level of Hell ) Hell is relevant to your circumstances.

3. Being first to the gun brings more trouble.
Examples:
Johnny shoots Balin and becomes his captive.
Billy shoots the Apache Leader and doesn't learn about the Spanish Mission.
Adam shoots a rattle snake and spooks Goldie's horse. Gets reprimanded.
Billy shoots Capt. Hernandez and must pay the penatly for shedding blood in the Temple of Balin.

4. Your God given talents were bestowed upon you for a reason.
Examples:
Billy is good with a gun. He uses it to get what he wants and to get himself out of trouble.
Billy is always 6 steps ahead. His planning keeps him alive.
Adam doesn't believe in himself. When he develops a plan, it works.
Grace isn't good with a gun but she's amazing with a sword.
Goldie is full of wisdom from his past. He develops his skills and they keep him alive.

5. Be careful of who posseses your soul. You are the captain of your ship.
Examples:
Johnny sells his soul multiple times to get revenge and has no way out of Hell.
Red sells his soul to heal his wounds. Becomes the ward of Lady Lilith.
Wild Bill refuses to sell his soul and dies a horrible death.
Grace's father refused to fight and was torn to pieces.
Goldie refuses to sell his soul and is saved by Billy who sold his soul to Loki.
Grace stays pure and refuses to sell her soul.

6. Forgive your father for his inequalities, his lessons good or bad will last forever.
Examples:
John Sr. died trying to protect his sons. His lessons remained strong in both of his sons and helped them survive.
The Angels betrayed God. Yet they still know his ways.
Grace followed her father to the Mission to save him. She survived on the lessons he taught her.

7. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Examples:
Billy and Johnny are taught to stay six steps ahead. They continue to use it throughout their adult hood and it keeps them alive.
Billy plans an alternative escape route in the Mexico City robbery. They escape.
Goldie recognizes Billy's plan to distract the crowd during his Duel with Johnny. You're Six if you're two!!
Billy distracts Lord Balin with an empty gun to get close enough to impale him with an iron spike.

8. Even the most evil of beings experience fear.
Examples: The most evil beings in Hell, fear their maker.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 4 weeks ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Seabiscuit Anaylsis

What I learned: I'm not sure I understand this assignment. I think I get what we're supposed to do but I'm having a hard time putting it down on paper. THere were a lot of examples of what made the movie profound and how the writers expressed their ideas.

Profound Moments.

1. Everyone needs a second chance. – America needed a second chance. – Seabiscuit, the owner, the trainer, the jockey, the trainer's first lame horse all needed a second chance.

Examples.
Saving a lame horse.
Both Seabiscuit and the Jockey received a "second" second chance. Last race.
Market crash. From buying a horse to a bag of books. (Red's life from riches to rags.)
The shop worker going from spokes to bikes to cars to horses.
Divorce, to marriage.
Red breaking his leg. ( He won't ride again. Red is allowed to ride and wins.
Don't throw a life away because he's banged up a little.

2. Give a little and get a lot in return.

Examples.
America was broke and needed a hand. The President created jobs to rebuild America. It gave men jobs which gave them hope and dignity.
Red needed money. He asked for $10 he was given $20
The little horse to represent the little man. ( Not just a rich man's sport. )
Red lied and didn't tell them he was blind in one eye. He wasn't fired.

3. Sometimes we forget what we're here for.

Example.
Seabiscuit needed to learn how to run again.
Red needed to be a jockey.
The owner needed someone to love
The trainer needed to train horses again.
Americia needed to work and become productive once more.

4. We find the answers to our problems in the oddest places.
Example.

Seabiscuit fixed us. Everyone of us.
The horse who wouldn't give up, helped inspire a nation.
It's not in his feet. It's in here. ( points to her heart. )
The jockey in the last race holding back to help Red and Seabuscuit regain their confidence.

• This reply was modified 4 months, 4 weeks ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Living Metaphors

What I learned from this assignment: By luck ,I had already tapped into this writing technique, I just didn't know what I was doing. : ) With this giude and your examples I think I am better equipped at making it work. Thank you.

Metaphor challenges:

1. Old Way – Being first to the gun is the best way to handle a situation.

Challenges:
Example: #1 Billy shoots the Apache when he hears they have killed his men.He never hears why. – They might have heard that they should not go to the Mission.
Example #2 Adam shoots a rattlesnake and spooks Goldie's horse. Goldie gets throown off. Goldie punishes Adam.
Example #3 Billy shoots Hernandez twice with Hernandez's own pistol. – Billy suffers the consequences of his actions with Balin and is savesd by Johnny.
Example #4 Grace's father didn't fire his weapon and ended up dead. – New way doesn't always work.
Example #5 Billy tries to kill Lord Turin Almost gets himself and his outlaws killed.

New Way Challenge –
Adam uses iron chain to Kill Lady Lilith – His plan works.
Billy uses a chair to kill the demon Hernandez – It works.
Johnny uses his gun to kill a demon with no effect. He switches to a tomahawk and kills Lilith's Asian Monk.
Red and Johnny kill Lord Turin with an iron chain.
Billy shoots oil lamps instead of people and starts to burn down the town.
Grace uses oil to burn/kill Lady Lilith.
Billy kills Lord Balin with a iron spike and a slip knot.

2. Old Way – We're trapped in Hell. "Once you're in Hell, you're there until you're soul is destroyed. (No One leaves Hell)
Example #1 The Mexico City robbery becomes a hell for the Outlaws as they try to escape.
Example #2 They crossed over the river ( Styxx ) on their way to the Mission
Example #3 The Mission is a place where men go to sell thier souls for gold, glory and immortality.
Example #4 They cross over the circle of salt and Apache magic.
Example #5 The Apache keep all who enter inside. ( gate keepers )
Example #6 The Devil's Canyon is a place where Angels and Gods go to Die.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Dante wrote about 9 levels.
#2 What if the world in which they came from was Hell?
#3 If we can go on to deeper level of Hell why can't we go back to where we were or choose another level?
#4 They cross over the Salt wall without Apache's stopping them.
#5 The Demons of the Angel Azizel are in a Hell of their own ( below the Mission in a cage ) and released to fight the Outlaws.
#6 The Mission becomes a burning inferno killing all the evil that resides there.
#7 The townspeople fight against the evil of the Demons and Fallen Angels.

3. Old Way – Killing for Gold, Glory and Immortality is a worthy cause. Killing is evil.

Example #1 Johnny is rewarded for killing Sun
Example #2 Victors are rewarded with power
Example #3 Victors are rewarded with Immortality
Example #4 Killers are rewarded with being able to kill until killed.
Example #5 Survival of the fittest.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Wild Jim fights to save the world from Evil. He isn't interested in Glory or Gold. His evil tendencies help him defeat evil.
#2 Lupo is an Immortal/ Skinwalker but fights to save his people from the evil of the Angels. He gave up his life to save his people. His evil powers will be used to fight evil.
#3 Johnny becomes immortal to revenge his father and destroy the Evil Angel that killed his father. Gold means nothing to him. He wants the power so he can destroy evil.
#4 Billy finds that no amount of gold, glory can bring his family and loved ones back the dead. He realizes his best way forward is to help his brother and fight trying to kill the Angels.
#5 Killing to end suffering is humane.

4. Old Way – The inequities of the father are felt by their sons.

Example #1 John Sr. failed to plan and his sons will suffer.
Example #2 Grace followed her father's trail to the Mission and is now a slave to Lady Liltih.
Example #3 Johnny has suffered at the Mission for 18 years trying to find a way to revenge his father.
Example #4 Billy became an outlaw because his father wasn't there to guide him.
Example #5 The Angels failed their father and were banished forever.

New way Challenge:
#1. Billy is stronger because of his fathers lessons and what he learned by his father's failure.
#2. Johnny gets his revenge.
#3. Billy has used his father's ideas to keep him alive.
#4. Grace uses her father's faith to beat lady Lilith.

5 Old Way – Men are more dangerous than woman.

Example 1. Men rule the world.
Example 2. No women in our gang.
Example 3. Women make baskets and fetch water
Example 4. Men take care of women.
Example 5. A woman gets married so she can be taken care of.

New Way Challenge:
#1 Grace has survived for 3 years in the Mission
#2 Lady Lilith controls her own army of demons.
#3 Elizabeth The Butcher challenges Carlo
#4 The battle of Troy was caused by a woman.
#5 Queen Elizabeth ruled England for 40 years
#6 Viking Shield Maidens fought along side their men
#7 Mary Tudor " Bloody Mary"

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Counterexamples:

What I learned doing this assignment: I loved the idea of making a subtle argument to give the charaters a reason to change or see another way to solve a problem. I'm still not 100% sure ihow to make it work. Anothe pass at the example s given should help. Thank you.

8 Challenges to the Old Way:

1. Being quick to the gun solves every challenge.
Counter Example: What if you didn't have your gun? How would you survive? Smile more? Find another alternative to violence.

2. Women are heartless and self serving beasts more ruthless and deadly then men.
Counter Example: Grace rescues Adam and tries to help him escape.

3. What is Hell? Dante's Inferno
Counter Example: Hell can be anywhere. A town, a relationship, a person, a desert, a saloon, a home, It's all in how you perceive it.

4. The child suffers from the inequities of the father.
Counter Example: But what if you learned from your father's mistakes? What if his failure made you stronger?

5. All Indians are killers.
Counter Example: What if they were trying to save humanity all along. What if the Apache were the gatekeepers to hell and were fighting to keep Hell's demons and the evil inside?

6. Outlaws only care about themselves.
Counter Example: What if they were just trying to make the lives of their loved ones better and stealing from those who had more wealth than they could possibly need?

7. The Irish are cowards.
Counter Example: The Irish left Ireland because of a the ENglish and a potato famine. They braved the Seas to come to America where things were just as hard.

8. Mankind was a curse on the Angels and a mistake made by God.
Counter Example: Man is not responsible for the Angel's punishment. Both Man and Angels were given the freedom of choice. Both Mankind and Angels must be held accuntable by good Angels and men.

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Old Ways Challenge. # 3

1. Trying to do something fast isn’t always the best way. Challenge: Slow down, plan your actions and get ahead of the problem.

2. Being quick to the Gun is the easy way to solve a problem. Challenge: Shooting someone is causing more problems. What if you Billy didn’t shoot someone and found another way to solve the problem?

3. The Outlaws who rob the bank got themselves into a mess. Challenge. It wouldn’t have been that way if they would have waited for Billy.

4. Revenge is the norm for killing. Challenge: Revenge doesn’t solve the problem it only extends it.

5. Indiginous People are lower than dogs and shouldn’t be allowed in the Saloon. Challenge: What if the Angels are afraid of what Red is capable of and know that he is a true enemy.

6. Angels and demons are from fairy tales as is Hell. Challenge: What if the stories are true? What if we are all living in Hell?

7. Gold, fortune, fame and becoming immortal is what everyone wants. Challenge: Not if you are trapped in Hell and the cost is your soul.

8. Only good can destroy Evil. Challenge – How evil does one have to be to destroy God’s Fallen Angels.

9. Stereotypes are unspoken social truths. Challenge: What if they are not.

10. Are we victims of our father’s failures? Challenge: What if we can rise above and show our father’s failures were our most valuable lessons.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P's Oldways

What I learned doing this assignment: Audiences will be more involved with your story if they can relate to the characters. Everyone runs on their "Old Ways", but if you can show them a different way to think about the same subject you have begun your journey to profound storytelling.

1. He received a fair trial. – Challenge- Was his attorney motivated to give him the best defense? Maybe he didn't want the case.

2. Kid can't remember the movies he watched. Challenge- What did you eat for dinner last night. The night before? the night before that? What was the second movie you watched? Who were the actors…. You weren't under stress and you can't remember.

3. These types of people… Challenge – I'm from the projects. – Yes but you're different. How so?

4. The knife was used in a stabbing motion downward. Challenge – The kid was a proficient knife fighter. Switchblades are used like this. It would have been a different stab motion if the kid killed him.

5. The witness said it took 15 seconds. Challenge – After mapping out the room it took 43 seconds. Maybe the witness lied.

6. The female witness was "Dolled Up" for the Jury to make a bettter case for the Prosecution team. Challenge- Who wears glasses to bed. Could have made a mistake? She was 60 feet away and wasn't wearing glasses. and she say the crime thorugh train windows.

7. When things didn't go their way a few of the Jurors began to insult and bully to coerce the innocent jurors to change their verdict.

8. Guilty Jurors originally held onto beliefs learned from social norms. They were not able to see another way until they were shown another way.

9 People have personal attachments/ hangups and approach life situations differently. The last juror had to face his relationship with his son before he could see the other side of the argument.

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Paul Penley.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Profound Ending

1. What I learned: I learned that my original Profound truth may not be what works best for my story. I’ve had to brainstorm more on what I want to say.

2. What is your Profound Truth and how will it be delivered powerfully in your ending? You were created for a purpose. Hone your skills and leave your mark on the world. or Failing to plan is planning to fail.

3. How do your lead characters (Change Agent and Transformable Characters) come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
CA – Johnny – Dies leaving his brother with all the tools he needs to suceed in life.
TC – Billy – Succeeds in defeating the Angels after abandoning his gun and staying six steps ahead.

4. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning?
– opening scene Billy fails to learn a lesson.
John Sr. tells his boys, “Failing to plan is planning to fail. Stay six steps ahead if you’re two.”
– Billy watches his father and brother die trying to protect him. His father didn’t have a plan.
– Billy and the Outlaws rob the bank of Mexico. Billy has set up an escape route and leads his gang to safety.
– Billy splits up the Outlaws and plans their reunion in a place no one would go.
– Billy fails to plan ahead as they enter the Mission. The outlaws are trapped.
– Johnny isn’t dead and he saves Billy from a challenge.
– Johnny and Lupo has planned for the day of his brother’s arrival.
– Johnny dies in the fight and tells Billy he made a mistake Lord Balin can’t be defeated.
– Billy is driven to continue the fight and revenge his brother and father.
– Billy overcomes his fear or heights and uses the knot his brother tried to teach him in the opening scene to defeat Lord Balin.
– With Johnny in a coffin, Billy and his surviving Outlaws are allowed to ride out of Hell.
– As Billy’s wagon crosses over the salt wall we see inside Johnny’s coffin. Johnny’s hands begin to twitch. “Six steps if you’re two”

5. How are you designing it to have us see an inevitable ending and then making it surprising when it happens?
– My story makes it clear that “Nobody has ever returned from the Spanish Mission.
– Show that all the characters at the Mission are the souls of their original selves.
– Explain Dante’s Nine Levels of Hell
– The Mission burns – Simulating Hell.
– The Apache keep everyone inside.
– They crossed the river Styx to enter the mission.

6. What is the Parting Image/Line that leaves us with the Profound Truth in our minds?

Inside the coffin we see Johnny’s hand twitch as they cross the wagon crosses over the salt wall. “Six steps ahead if you’re two. Failing to plan is planning to fail.”

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Connection with Audience.

What I learned… The audience must feel a connection and must have similar experiences with your Change Agent and your Transformational Character in order to experience the journey.

Both the TC and the CA will be used to create a connection with my audience.

Billy – Transformational Character – The youngest of the two Roper brothers.

A. Relatability – He is the youngest of two and feels the pressure to perform in front of his older brother and his father. In our opening scene he is trying to learn from his older brother and can’t quite grasp the lesson We feel for him. He also tries to help his older brother and gets pushed away. Billy is frightened but want’s to help when they find themselves surrounded by Apache. He is told to hide in the rocks. He takes his father’s rifle but is to frightened to shoot. When he finally tries the chamber is empty. Billy watches as his father and brother are thrown against the rocks and defeated by a fallen Angel.

B. Intrigue. At the end of the first scene Billy has watched his father and brother from a hiding place. He has felt useless and afraid to move. Guilt, fear, and hate build as he is called out of his hiding place. He sees his dead father and unconcious brother and is told to leave. 8 year old Billy rides away from the canyon into Apache indian country by himself. What will happen to him?

C. Empathy: Billy is a pleaser. He tries his best with his brother and fails. He is pushed aside when they are attacked and told to hide. Billy grabs his father’s rifle and pulls the trigger ( there isn’t a bullet in the chamber and he gives away his hiding place) trying to save his brother and father. Billy rides away from the scene leaving the only protection he had. He is now vulnerable and alone in a dangerous place with spiritual creatures unknown to him.

D. Likability: Younger Billy tries to help. He tries to protect his brother from his father’s scolding. He vows revenge upon the Angel who killed his father and brother.

Older Billy- The next scene we find Billy late to a bank robbery. He gives a townsperson a warning look instead of shooting him and waves the man away from his fellow outlaws. He helps a gut shot outlaw on to his horse instead of leaving him to die. Billy has grown up and survived. But how?

Johnny – Change Agent – Oldest of the two Roper brothers.

A. Relatability: Johnny is the older brother who is responsible for taking care of his younger brother. He tries to teach him what he knows even if he hasn’t quite got the hang of it himself. He makes mistakes and takes the brunt of his father’s scorn. He will do anything to please his father and repeats his father’s words to make sure he gets the message. He stands side by side with his father when they are surrounded by Apache and shoots to kill an unstoppable foe as his father dies next to him.

B. Intrigue: Johnny is afraid but he takes action and tries to kill the attacking Angel. He vows to protect his little brother. He has honor and courage.

C. Empathy: Johnny is the older brother who is expected to be a man yet must take care of his younger brother. He shouldn’t be in the situation his father has placed him. He does his best to protect Billy and fails.

D. Likability: Younger Johnny makes mistakes and stumbles through things like all young children trying to walk in their father’s footsteps. He does his best to protect Billy before he is knocked out. Billy has been saved from the immediate danger.

Older Johnny still tries to protect his Billy. He gives him clues to survive the Mission and how to escape. He is fearless and determined to save Billy and revenge his father at all costs.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Transformational Structure

What I learned doing this assignment: The story can become stronger if there are mulitple transformations taking place. In this example I used the Change Agent. Johnny Roper

Transformational Logline: Johnny Roper must face and overcome his horrific childhood trauma in order to reach the level of disciplin he will need to destroy his captors and save his younger brother.

Act 1:

Opening: Johnny is teaching his younger brother Billy knots, while tending to the horses.

Inciting Incident: Indians/ Attack of BALIN – John Sr. protects his two sons and is mortally wounded. He tells Johnny to watch over his youunger brother. Johnny tries to hide Billy from Balin.

Turning Point: Johnny fires his pistol trying to kill the monsterbefore him. He is trown against the rocks next to his dead father. Billy is allowed to leave.

Act 2:

New plan: Save Billy from the evil of the Angels and their demons. Billy fails and doesn’t listen to Johnny.

Plan in action: Johnny repremands Billy in order to save him from retribution. ( last brotherly warning )

Midpoint Turning Point: Johnny chooses an Angel and takes the bite. ( He has one more bite before turning immmortal. )

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Billy isn’t following Johnny’s lead and is failing.

New plan: Get Billy and his Outlaws out of town. Informs him of the escape tunnels. Hide till morning.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Billy and his Outlaws fail to escape and are captured by different factions of the Demon army. Billy is captured by Lupo. Johnny feeds for the first time and gains new insite and streangth to his Angel powers.

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Johnny embraces the new power of the Angels and Lupo has set a plan of action into place to defeat the Angels. He uses his Skinwalker power combined with his Angel powers.

New Plan: The fight is on. Billy, Johnny, Lupo, the Outlaws and the townspeople fight back against the Angels and their depmon army.

Climax: Johnny is mortally wounded saving one of Billy’s outlaws.

Ultimate Expression of the conflict.: Johnny dies after giving his brother the tools to survive.

Resolution: Billy takes on his brother’s revenge gainst Balin.

New staus quo: Billy Kills Balin and his demons freeing the town. Billy and company escape Hell.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Three Gradients.
What I learned. I tried both gradients. originally I thought the Forced Gradient would work the best. But it seems to fall a little short. I tried the Desired and found the same result. However, If I combined them It could serve my needs.

I’m going to list my DESIRED results for this assignment…

Excitement: Greed, Billy is excited to get the gold and isn’t worried about a Cursed Mission.
Challenge: He now faces his problems without ammo in his gun.
Weakness: Ignorance, He finds himself in trouble and chooses to use shoot his opponent with his own gun.

Doubt: Ego, Billy will have to fight for his life. the Angels are real and they are in Hell.
Challenge: Make it through the night without fighting, dying or selling their souls.
Weakness: They don’t understand the rules. The group is beginning to splinter.

Hope: The Outlaws hear of a way to escape. Billy has seen enough, they abandon the gold.
Challenge: They must find the tunnels without being discovered.
Weakness: THey fell for a trap. The Outlaws are split up and lost inside the cave system.

Discouragement: Fear, Billy is captured. Confusion His captor isn’t what he seems and gives BIlly a choice. Die or join him against the Angels.
Challenge: There’s no way they can defeat the Angels and their hordes of demons.
Weakness: Billy doesn’t believe, but he chooses to help. He must die first.

COURAGE: Billy wakes with healed wounds.The Hopi indian has a plan.
Challenge: He joins the fight and challenges his brother to a death match to save one of his outlaws.
Challenge: Keep himself and his outlaw gang alive till morning.
Weakness: Two of his gang memebers are already dead. One has turned to the dark side and there are more Demons than originally mentioned.

Triumph: All is going in Billy’s favor.
Challenge: Fight Through the demons to get to the Angels without dying. Billy must summon his Shape shifting animal.
Weakness: He doesn’t know how to kill the Angels. His brother dies in front of him.

[Paul Penley]

• Paul P’s Dead Poet’s Society
• What is the change this movie is about? To become your own person and break away from the norm.
• What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
• Lead characters:
  • Who is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change? Professor Keeting. He was once a student at the Prepschool and has experienced the academia.
  • Who is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey? There are several charaters who are transformable. Mostly Todd, Knox, Charlie and Neil. But others take chances and sieze the day.
  • What is the Oppression? The School and it’s traditions as well as the boy’s parents. Authority.
• How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story? We have all been to school and understand the intricate traditions and rules that are pressed upon it’s students.
• Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:
• Niel goes from listening and obeying his father’s wishes to speaking his mind and doing what he wants.
• Todd begins his journey not really wanting to be involved in class or speaking. His arc takes him to someone who is the first to stand up for his beliefs and to do the right thing even if he faces consequences for his actions.
• What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?
• Neil- oppression / frustration / anger / excitement / frustration / joy / pride / depressed / suicide
• Neil – The old way of doing what his father tells him is challenged. He breaks away and follws his dream gradually getting to the point where he takes a chance and stands up to his father and ultimately ends his life rather than continue on the path his father has set for him.
• Todd – lonely / accepted / unsure / involved / confident / depression / grief / defiance
• Todd – The old way of not making waves and doing as one is told. He is the child seen and not heard. He eventually grows in the trust of his friendships with his fellow students and by Keeting’s guidance. In the end, he is the first to stand unafraid and voice his opinion and admiration for Keeting.
• Most profound moments.
• 1. The first Keeting class. Held in the hallway where they students learn the term Carpe Diem.
• 2. Ripping the Pritchard’s poetry pages form the school book.
• 2. The students learning to walk their own walk in the courtyard.
• 3. Speaking to Keeting about the Dead Poet’s society.
• 3. Charlie publishing an article in the school paper by the Dead Poet’s society.
• 4. Knox taking a chance and going to the HIghschool party and getting beaten up.
• 5. Knox taking another chance and going to Cris’s school to read her a poem.
• 5. Each of the Dead Poet society meetings are profound.
• 6. Neil’s performance in the play.
• 7. Charlie becoming Newanda and bringing women to the Cave.
• What are the most profound lines of the movie?
• 1. Sieze The Day – Carpe Diem
• 2. Language was used to Woo Women.
• 3. Do indeed be a God.
• 4. I’m not going to be calm anymore.
• 5. She was thinking about me.
• 6. It’s God, He says we should have girls at Wilton.
• 7. Oh Captain, my Captain!
• How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
• The students gradually become more bold exploring their boundries against their instructors and the norms of society until Neil chooses death over doing something that his father expects him to do.
• What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
• Take chances and live it to the fullest.

[Paul Penley]

1. Paul P’s Lead Characters.
2. What I learned doing this assignment: I was leaving out all of the gradient levels in my writting. This assignment was a big break through for me.
3. Transformational journey logline: Johnny Roper must face and overcome his horrific childhood trauma in order to reach the level of disciplin he will need to destroy his captors and escape from the Mission with his soul.
4. Change Agent: Lupo / Johnny Roper – Lupo ( a Hopi Skinwalker) becomes an ally to Billy and his gang. He has lived 1000 years for the moment he can destroy the Fallen Angels and free the world of their evil.
5. Johnny Roper ( Billy’s lost brother ) Has secretly become a Skinwalker and has recently taken the BITE and fallen in with the Angels. He gives Billy advice on how the Mission and the recruitment of the Angels works.
6. Lupo’s vision – He has faught his way into the Spanish Mission with one goal. Destroy the Angels and their Army of Demons before the magic of his people can no longer hold them back. Desperate he makes Skinwalkers out of Billy and Johnny and brings the fight to the Angels. Evil against Evil.
7. Johnny’s Vision – Find a way to get revenge on the Angel that killed his father.
8. Transformable Character: Billy Roper – Leader of the Outlaw gang. Billy must face his childhood trauma and do his best to live through the night and escape with his crew.
9. Oppressor: The Spanish Mission / 3 Fallen Angels determined to escape from the Magic of the Spanish Mission with their army of demons.
10. The Betraying Character: Red Proud Tree – Fiercest and most feared of Billy’s outlaws. After a disforming confrontation in a duel at the Spanish Mission, Red caves into the temptations of an Angel and sells his soul to reclaim his vision and heal his battle wounds.

screenwritingclasses.com

Log In ‹ ScreenwritingClasses — WordPress

Log In ‹ ScreenwritingClasses — WordPress

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s Transformational Journey Logline:

A “quick to the gun” outlaw and his gold hungry gang ride into a cursed mission where three fallen angels are recruiting men for their army of doom, the outlaws must transform themselves into the person they vowed they would never become in order to escape.

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” I’m hoping this execise will lead me to a strong transformational change for each of my characters. It helped me better realize what each character needs to overcome and different ways to bring the audience into the story.

Old Ways:
Entitled
Selfish
Arrogant
Kill “good” men
Honor amoung theives
Concider themselves killers
Steal and cheat
Takes from the poor and needy
Quick to Kill ” life doesn’t matter”

New Ways:
Humbled
Compassionate
Able to Forgive
Values human life
Vow to kill evil men
Gives to the poor and needy

[Paul Penley]

Paul Penley’s First Three Decisions.

What I learned doing this assignment. This assignment gave me a few ah-ha moments. I now feel that I am better able to understand the story I’m trying to tell.

My Profound Truth:
Your troubled past does not dictate your future.

What is the change your movie will cause with an audience:
Bad People can do great things, they just need the right environment to use their skillset.

What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through?
Metaphore.

[Paul Penley]

HI everyone, my name is Paul Penley

After I finish this class I will have written seven scripts.

I’ve had a short film produced and sold.

My goal is to create a story so well written and profound that it cannot be passed up and will be sold/produced.

Unfortunately, there is nothing profound about me. I have spent the last 33 years working behind the scenes in the film industry and hope to retire at 60 years of age. Screenwriting has always been my dream job.

I look forward to reading your story ideas and wish you all the best with this class and your future endeavors.

[Paul Penley]

“I Paul Penley, agree to the terms of this release form.”
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[Paul Penley]

Paul P’s analysis of Groundhog Day.
What I learned doing this assignment.
1. What is the CHANGE this movie is about? What is the Transformational Journey of this movie?
Lead characters: The Change – Phil going from a self centered ego driven character doing a 180% metamorphosis into a person who has respec for himself, cares for others and recognises the value of ones life and sharing it in a way which benefits all who comes into contact with him.
2. Phil is the Change Agent (the one causing the change) and what makes this the right character to cause the change? Phil has so many horrible traits. Litterly a walking ego machine who cant help but ruin every encounter with a fellow human being he has.
3. Rita is the Transformable Character (the one who makes the change) and what makes them the right character to deliver this profound journey? Rita is somewhat tolerant of Phil’s rhetoric because he’s the “Talent” and she needs him to deliver on the job. She has all the likable traits and Phil is interested. She doesn’t succumb to his cheap antics and is pure of heart. The exact opposite of Phil.
4. Ground Hog Day is the Oppressor.
5. How are we lured into the profound journey? What causes us to connect with this story? As an audience we can relate to job assignments that seem mundain and can understand Phil’s dilemma. We are lured into the story with how he tries to figure out what “not to do” in order to survive. We enthusiastically watch how he reacts differently to evey situation until he finds his humanity.
6. Looking at the character(s) who are changed the most, what is the profound journey? From “old ways” to “new way of being.” Identify their old way: Identify their new way at the conclusion:

Phil changes the most. His profound journey is living the same day over and over again until he becomes a better human being. In the beginning he is a horrible person only concerned with his immediate self. People he encounter tollerate him at best. In the end, Phil’s actions bring out the very best in everyone he encounters. He has blossomed into a wonderful, humble person who spreads his love to all, especailly with Rita.

Rita is a bit guarded as she trys to accomidate Phil in order to produce her small news segement. She is clearly a very nice person with strong values and a moral cumpass. Her charater doesn’t really change in my opinion. She is purely reactive and responds to honest interest to Phil once he presents himself with honor and dignity.

7. What is the gradient the change? What steps did the Transformational Character go through as they were changing?

Phil’s character:
unatached and self centered
caniving and cheap
heartless and uncaring
hopeless and suicidal
slightly concerned and slightly interested
God like
able to react to humanity in a possative way
trying to save his “father”
giving back and caring for those who are in need around him

8. How is the “old way” challenged? What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
The Old way is challenged when it doesn’t procure the desired results. Phil hates himself and is misserable in his current life. He finds cheap thrills makeing others feel small and worthless. He is in love and wants to be loved. Only when he finds that he must become a better person to earn Rita’s love does the world around him begin to change.

9. What are the most profound moments of the movie?
Waking up to the same day.
The puddle. He finally steps around
Discovering he can manipulate his world There are no rules.
Learning new things. Playing piano, French poetry, ice carving
Multiple suicide attempts until he realizes he cannot win.
Love isn’t a word you say to get sex.
Building relatonships is important.
Saving the choking steak eater.
Trying to save his “Father” figure.
Becoming part of the community.
Bringing coffee and pastries to his crew, finding a better spot to film. Asking his camera man what he thinks.
Winning Rita’s love by not trying to sleep with her.

10. What are the most profound lines of the movie?
I don’t remember any profound lines.
11. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie?
Every character that Phil has wronged has been changed in a positive way by Phil. He has learned how to be a respectable person who gives back to the community and has finally won the love and respect of Rita and his cameraman as well as the whole town
12. What is the Profound Truth of this movie?
Find Love and respect yourself and you will be respected and loved by others.

[Paul Penley]

Paul’s Action Structure

What I learned – My structure is still off. I need to streamline my story points or change my existing outline to better fit a proper outline.

Create the 3-Act structure for your story.

1. Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure.

Opening – The murder of the Hero’s father by a powerful unknown entity. ( Lord Balin a Fallen Angel ) <div>

Inciting Incident – The Hero arrives at a designated rendevous only to find an Apache Medicine Man who tells him his Gang of Outlaws are dead. The only survivor is the Hero’s brother, who has traveled to a cursed Spanish Mission called La Paloma Blanca. There his brother plans to “fight with the Angels”. A place where men do not return. In order to reunite with his brother our Hero and his co-horts travel to White Dove.

<div>

First Turning Point at end of Act 1 – The Hero arrives in La Paloma Blanca where he almost immediatly kills a man in self defense. According to the laws of the Angels he must now fight to the death against a chosen assassin or become food for the Angel’s Demon hords. The sun sets on the Spanish Mission. No one, including the Hero can leave until dawn. Our Hero must survive the night without losing his soul or his life.

Mid-Point – After witnessing the Hero’s brother become a demon, the Hero and his co-horts hear about a tunnel used for escape. The Hero decides to abandon his brother and follow his Co-horts into the tunnels. The group is attacked and quickly find themselves in different traps set to catch those trying to escape. Our Hero is caught by the Apache Medicine Man (from act one )who explains to our Hero that his brother is not really a demon and has been turned into a Skinwalker who is helping the Apache destroy the Angels. Our Hero is offered three choices. 1. Become a demon. 2. Die and be devoured by demons. Or 3. Die and be reborn as a Skinwalker like his brother and help destroy the creature who murdered his father.

Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 – The Hero becomes a Skinwalker. The Medicine Man informs our Hero of the plan already set into action to take the fight to the Angels and end their plan to destroy mankind.

Crisis – The Hero’s brother dies.

Climax – The plan isn’t working. The Hero fights Lord Balin by himself.

Resolution – Lord Balin dies at the hands of our Hero.

</div></div>

[Paul Penley]

Paul’s Action Track

What I learned – So far, this excersize has been one of the best. It seems, the more you fill in the blanks the better the ideas become.

1. Answer the Action Questions:

A. What action could naturally show up in this movie?— I’ve chosen the SYFY/Action genres set in the Wild West with a Supernatural Villian. My Hero natural abilities are strong but he will need to find a way to out-think and outmaneuver his opponents.

B. What action could work for this track? My First Fallen Angel is Black, beautiful, dark, deadly and extremely dangerous. He is the master of all, his motivation is run by revenge and hate of mankind. The Second Fallen Angel is Asian. She is a thinker, methodical, blind and a healer. She controls the Asian demon population of the Mission. With her I could insert a Kung-Fu and weapons theme. My third Fallen angel is a strong, deformed misfit who controls the dregs of the Demon population. Each Angel rewards his/her followers with a BITE and a small percent of their traited powers. After three bites the semi demons become Immortal and belong to the Army of Darkness.

A Demon by himself is a formidable foe. An Angel is unbeatable. Combined, three Angels and an Army of Demons is quite the impossible mission.

C. How can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?

I plan to introduce the main Hero in a bank Heist. The robbery and the escape will showcase his skills and perception of his world.

2. Select the types of action you’ll use.

A. Chase/Pursuit – The scene — a bank robbery full of armed citizens, the Hero, his outlaw gang, Mexican Soldiers, and innocent townspeople. This situation is ripe for gunplay, quick thinking, a horse chase, and an escape plan.

Purpose – This will show the bond between our Hero and his Outlaw gang as well as develope his sense of humanity and his faults.

B. Fight – The scene — A saloon full of undesirables in a town where men go to sell their souls. Mexican soldiers spot our Hero and pick a fight. The scene turns from questions and accusations to punches and gun play and the Encounter with the first of many demons.

Purpose – Develope the problematic world the Hero just stepped into how to make the most of his skills.

C. Shootout – The first gunfight demonstrates the idea of battle with a Demon with an EXTRA Skill set.

Purpose – Demonstrates the power of the Demons and the consequences of losing. Its not just death. If you lose the duel and are not dead by the bullet, it’s death by being torn to pieces, drained of blood and then if your still coherent you’re devoured. All that’s left is a pile of bones.

D. Rescue – Our Hero showed up to rescue his brother and finds himself trapped as well. There has never been an escape. Death at the wall of stones comes from the Apache who have trapped the Fallen Angels and secure the world from the domination of the Fallen Angels and thier Demon army. ( Apache massacre all who try to escape the boundries of the SPanish Mission. ) Surviving the night without dying, becoming food or losing your soul is the only path to escape the Spanish Mission of Paloma Blanca. Mornig brings the sun which will destroy any Demon caught in its path.

Purpose. The only way to escape is to fight, hide or take your chances at the salt wall surrounding the Mission and Village of Paloma Blanca. This heightens the level of action and the foreboding reality of the situation at hand. Something has to give. It makes our Hero develope a better plan.

E. Escape/Evade The escape fails miserably. Our Hero and his co-horts are separated in the tunnels beneith the Spanish Mission.

Purpose – To show the thought process of the Fallen Angels. They have set traps for men who choose to try to escape. There is no way out of Paloma Blanca unless you are dead or become a servant of Lord Balin.

F. Interrogation/Torture – I moved this section up to fit my story. Our Hero is captured and tortured by an Apache Skinwalker who has infiltrated the Army in hopes of destroying it from within. Here, our Hero has a choice. 1. Become a Skinwalker ( pronounced skills and streangths ) and help kill the Angels and their Demon Army or 2. Face the Angels as a mortal.

Purpose – This situation can raise the bar of my Hero and give him the powers needed to KILL an Angel. Raises the type of action of future fight scenes.

G. Competition – Brother against brother. Pulling a heist scenario from their past the HERO and his Brother trick Lord Balin and his Army and start the equivilant of a mini apocalypse.

Purpose: This raises our action to the highest point placing the Hero and his co horts in the most danger they have experienced in their lives.

H. Dangerous Situations – No one is safe. Our Hero must face the monster that Killed his father in a one to one battle to save his life and destroy Lord Balin.

Purpose – This is the last action scequence of the story. It has to be thought out and show that our Hero’s character arc has been completed.

[Paul Penley]

Hi all.

My name is P.E. Penley. I’ve been writing for 20 some years. I’ve never sold or optioned a screenplay but it doesn’t stop me from trying. I have been involved with Hal and Cheryl’s ScreenwritingU since their Pro Series. The classes offer so much information. It seems every story I write is full of action so what better way to learn how it’s done.

I wish you all the best.

P.E. Penley

[Paul Penley]

Paul’s Villian Track

What I learned. My action sequences and my story line aren’t quite lined up. I need to work on my outline.

1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.

A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.<div>

Pre-Existing Plan- Lord Balin’s plan is to build an army of ruthless Demon assassins to help him escape the captivity of the Spanish Mission. Once this is accomplished he will use the army to destroy mankind and have is ultimate revenge on God.

<div>

B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero?

Lord Balin could crush him with his hands. He is a Fallen Angel, his speed, strength and giant like physical structure are more than any mortal can endure.

Lord Balin surrounds himself with a hoard of pre-immortals who will kill at his whim.

Lord Balin has an army of demons waiting in caves below the Spanish Mission.

C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie?

Superior strength, ruthless killers, and an Army of Demons. He has set the rules of his world. Those who violate the rules die horrible deaths.

D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done?

To die at the hands of what he is most jealous of and despises the most. mankind.

2. Include labels with each step of their plan.

MISTAKE: When Lord Balin recognises the cross on Billy’s neck he places both Johnny and Billy to the moment in time he killed their father. Mistake #1 He should have killed them both 20 years earlier with their father.

DILEMMA: Lord Balin watches as Billy is challenged by Demon Mexican Soldiers. Billy kills their Captain inside the Mission, breaking one of Lord Balin’s commandments. The punishment is a duel to the death in the streets. The winner will be bitten by one of Three Fallen Angels. Three victories equals three bites which secures the fighters immortality and strengths of the Angel’s whom they aquired their bites. Intrieged by the brother’s protective nature he allows Johnny to fight for his brother in the street outside the Mission. When Johnny defeats the hardened Chinese fighter he sees there is potential and wants to groom him to become a general.

DECISION/KILL HIM: Lord Balin sends three assassin to test Billy’s skills. Instead of securing Billy in the fight the assassin engages with two of Billy’s loyal outlaws. One of the Outlaws becomes dinner, The second becomes a Demon. Three of Balins best assassins die. Billy escapes the conflict and recognises Lord Balin as the monster that Killed his father.

<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Trap: Before Lord Balin can send another team of Demons to destroy Billy. Billy and his remaining Outlaws try to escape by using the tunnels below the Spanish Mission. No one returns from the tunnels. It’s a trap preset for any who try and escape. Only Billy and his outlaws escape.

PLAN/Brother against brother: Lord Balin sends Johnny to Kill his brother. This backfires, when Johnny and Billy go back to back and start killing Demons. Lord Balin sends his hoard to destroy them.

Destruction: Billy has a plan. Destroy all of the buildings and tunnels so the demons can not hide from the rising sun. They will all die at sunrise. Lord Balin commands his demons to kill all remaining mortals. However he wants the two brothers alive. The brothers kill the other two Fallen Angels and come for Lord Balin.

RETALIATION: Lord Balin releases the Demons from the caves below.

ESCAPE: Lord Balin escapes to the safety of the Spanish mission.

FITTING ENDING: In a face-to-face fight with Billy. Billy uses a sacred spike and drives it through Lord Bailns heart. Billy uses Balin’s own sword and cuts Balin”s head from his shoulders.

</div></div>

[Paul Penley]

Paul’s – Hero’s Mission Track

1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.

What I learned. My outline was flawed. This excersize helps you streamline your story.

A. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds? <div>

HIs loyalty and love for his brother.

<div class=””>

B. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal?

They are going to a cursed Spanish Mission where no man has ever returned.

C. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero?

The devotion and loyalty to his brother and getting his share of the stolen gold. Revenge against the Monster that killed his father.

D. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain?

He could lose his life or fall victim to the curse of the Mission.

2. Use the Mission Steps to outline the mission.

Clear Mission: Escape the Mexican Army with the gold and retire from the life of an Outlaw. Live a happy life.

Motivation: In order to retire, Billy must detour the Mexican Army and rendevous with his Johnny his brother to collect his portion of the heist. GOLD</div><div>

Inciting Incident: Upon arriving at the determined rendevous location, Billy learns that the gang has been killed by Apache and the only living survivor, ( his brother, Johnny ) has left with the gold to an Old Spanish Mission called Paloma Blanca. A cursed place where men do not return. Now they must escape Apache Land and find the Mission and his brother.

First Action: They find Johnny and Lord Balin, the monster that killed Johnny and Billy’s father.

Obstacle: They cannot leave till morning. They must survive the night. Hide. Escape. Fight or become a blood feast for the Demons.

Escalation: Billy and his menare challenged and are forced to face their worst nightmare.

Overwhelming Odds: Lord Balin releases his army upon Billy and Johnny.

New Plan: Go on the Defense. Destroy all the buidings that protect the Demons from Sunlight. Blow up the Mission and kill Lord Balin.

Full out Attack: Billy and company must provoke and defet Lord Balin, Storm their way into the Mission, destroy it and all the Demons.

Success: Billy and the survivors leave the mission with the Gold and Johnny’s body.

</div></div>

[Paul Penley]

Paul’s Hero’s and Villains

What I learned.Being exposed to different ideas of how to create, I am able to better develop my story and characters.

Concept: A highly skilled gunslinger must rescue his brother from three Fallen Angels and their army of demon assassins.

Hero: Morally Right. Billy’s goal is to rescue his brother and receive his share of their heist. Then he learns that the Main villan is the CREATURE that killed his father.

Villian: Morally Wrong. Lord Balin is Pure Evil, A Fallen Angel who has sworn to avenge God for banishing him to Earth by destroying mankind and turning Earthin into a living Hell.

Hero

A. Uniqhue Skill Set: Billy is highly adaptable gunslinger who has the ability to study his opponent and find and a weakness that he can exploit.

B. Motivation: Billy is move to rescue his brother, escape with their lives and take revenge on the creature that killed his father.

C. Secret of Wound: Lord Balin killed his father.

Villian

A. Unbeatable. Lord Balin is a Fallen Angel with superpowers that who cannot be killed by bullets or knives. He also controls an armu of demon assassins.

B. Plan/Goal. To build an army of Demons that will destroy manking and turn Earth into a living Hell.

C. What he will lose: His Life and his plot to demoralize God and destroy his prized possession. Mankind.

Impossible Mission: To rescue his brother, Billy must enter a cursed town controled by three fallen Angels and an Army of Demonon Assassins.

A. Puts Hero in Action: Must move into danger to save his brother and escape with their gold.

B. Demands: Billy must fight and iscover ways to overcome super powered foes.

C. Destroy the Villian: To save his brother and survive the night, Billy must destroy the Angels and the Demons they created.

* Demons and Angels cannot be killed by ordinary bullets or usual tactics.

[Paul Penley]

Subject: Paul’s Conventions

What I learned doing this assignment.

I am rewritting a story which demands more action. After listening to the John Wick session, I believe I can raise the level of my writing by polishing my action skills.

The process of writting 20 bad ideas is a prominent skill taught in the Screenwritting University. It is something I had forgotten and plan to re-impliment into my arrsenol.

1. Hero: Billy Roper, a likable and highly skilled gunslinger wants out of the outlaw game. The gangs latest score has given him enough gold to retire comfortably. Only problem, his brother and leader of the gang has taken the stolen gold to a cursed Mexican Mission where outlaws go to gain glory and sell thier souls.

2. Mission: Rescue his brother and escape with the gold.

3. Demand for Action: No one returns from the White Dove Mission. Once inside the perimiters of the town, Billy must use all his skills and learn how to be a team player to defeat those seeking eternal life given by three FALLEN ANGELS.

4. Antagonist: Lord Balin, a FALLEN ANGEL, who has sworn to demonize mankind and make Earth a living Hell.

5. Escalating Action: If fighting humans wasn’t enough of a challenge, Billy and his cohorts will have to survive the night battling an army of Super Charged Demons, and find a way to destroy the Angels who control the town.

[Paul Penley]

Paul Penley, I agree to the terms of this relase form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.