[H. Vince]

H. Vince

WIM Module 8 – 2023

Lesson 1: Dialogue Structures

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…I thought about using AI for assistance, but I just couldn’t. Especially after I typed this question into ChatGPT:

AI cannot create its own ideas. Is that correct?

The answer:

AI can generate ideas by analyzing patterns and data, but it lacks true creativity and thought. It relies on existing information and patterns in its training data.

So, I knew this to be true already that AI programs are basically only good as their programmer. Since we don’t have the time to watch all movies/shows and scan the internet for all plots, dialogue, etc. and make sure we’re not plagiarizing, I’ll rely on the original OG brain to do the work and create something new. I have them been doing that since inception of this movie idea and it’s been challenging to come up with twists, turns, dialogue and more but that is the charm of it. I have to figure out the storyline on my own without electronic help.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

The feedback I received in the Module 6 peer review was to add more to the intros of the characters to attract actors. I would actually be okay with attracting new actors not necessarily A list actors but I understand the purpose of this course is to elevate when at all possible. I am thinking of dramatic scene openers like the movie “Flight” since mine starts in an airport.

Should I cause a problem that has to later be solved?

Make the scene unusual?

Create an initial trick?

Reveal a protagonist’s most intriguing trait?

Create a shocking opening?

Create a contrast opening?

I already have other twists and turns in the movie that have been added since the initial outline. The only addition I can think of at the moment is to add that the wife trips and is about to fall and the husband catches her while they’re trying to run. The scene slows down to show the caring for each other.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Elevated Dialogue

WIM Module 7 – 2023

Lesson 5: Dialogue from Character Profiles

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I could add more interesting dialogue to elevate the scene.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

EXAMPLE:

Originally:

AIRLINE STAFF MEMBER 1

You’re the Porters?

JAMES AND CLARA

Yes (simultaneously)

AIRLINE STAFF MEMBER 1

Let’s go. We’re waiting for you.

Changed to:

AIRLINE STAFF MEMBER 1

You’re the Porters?

JAMES

Yes, John and Sara

AIRLINE STAFF MEMBER 1

What? I made a mistake..

CLARA

No, wait!

JAMES

(laughs) JAMES and CLARA! Let’s goooo..

AIRLINE STAFF MEMBER 1

(flustered) Okay??

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Elevated Interest

WIM Module 7 – 2023

Lesson 4: Increase Interest Level of Key Scenes!

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…I could add one small part to the opening scene that would possibly make an actor want to be a part of this movie.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

The feedback I received in the Module 6 peer review was to add more to the intros of the characters to attract actors. I would actually be okay with attracting new actors not necessarily A list actors but I understand the purpose of this course is to elevate when at all possible. I am thinking of dramatic scene openers like the movie “Flight” since mine starts in an airport.

Should I cause a problem that has to later be solved?

Make the scene unusual?

Create an initial trick?

Reveal a protagonist’s most intriguing trait?

Create a shocking opening?

Create a contrast opening?

I already have other twists and turns in the movie that have been added since the initial outline. The only addition I can think of at the moment is to add that the wife trips and is about to fall and the husband catches her while they’re trying to run. The scene slows down to show the caring for each other.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Elevated Emotion!

WIM Module 7 – 2023

Lesson 3: Making Scenes More Emotional

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is I addressed a shower scene that was brought up on one of my last peer reviews.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

EXAMPLE:

36. INT TOM’S HOUSE BATHROOM – DAY – CONTINUOUS

CLARA’S shower sequence

This is where I try to not get too detailed as if I’m writing a novel but I still want to get the point across of what is happening. I used a series of shots montage to list CLARA’s thoughts and actions but in that she feels emotion. I may have realized in my head what was happening, but it didn’t make it to the script because it was pointed out in the Module 6: peer review to explain the emotion. That was helpful for me to go back and explain a little more of what was going on because that scene leads to Clara realizing who Tom is.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Dramatic Reveals!

WIM Module 7 – 2023

Lesson 2: Elevating the Impact of Your Reveals

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment along with others is that I had to present dreams within dreams.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

On the basic surface, this is just a couple with a humdrum life going on a retirement vacation but then, we start to see things like the wife is hallucinating, the “son” is lying about his job, the family doctor did a bad thing in the past but is not doing a bad thing this time (as far as we know) and even bigger picture items happening. Reveals upon reveals.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Loves Character Depth!

WIM Module 7 – 2023

Lesson 1: More Character Depth

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that it was kind of repeat from previous lessons such as Lesson 2 in Module 6 when I was solving character problems.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

Depth Tool 1: Lay out your character storylines and elevate.

Depth Tool 2: What are they hiding from me?

Depth Tool 3: How can this story trigger the character?

Initially my characters were just a couple that went on their dream vacation and then the husband developed dementia but then I added the underlying story of who each of them really were. This idea changed the whole purpose and direction of the story. It even made the Antagonist more a red herring thus creating the question of who is really the bad guy in this story?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Script Exchange

WIM Module 9 – 2023

Lesson 4: Partner Up to Exchange Feedback

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

Hello WIM Group! Let me know who wants to exchange. I’m thinking someone I haven’t exchanged with before or not for a while would be good if possible.

Thank you!😃

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Script Exchange

WIM Module 6 – 2023

Lesson 5: Exchange Feedback on Draft 2

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

Margaret took the time to read over my script and provide feedback. Thank you Margaret!

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Script Exchange 1

WIM Module 6 – 2023

Lesson 5: Exhange Feedback on Draft 2

Hi Everyone! Anyone interested in exchanging with me? 😃

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on a dream vacation experiment!?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Solved Scene Problems!

WIM Module 6 – 2023

Lesson 4: Solving Scene Problems

My Vision: I will be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I solved the scenes from being uninteresting when I rewrote my outline.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s is Cliché Busting!

WIM Module 6 – 2023

Lesson 3: Cliché’ Busting

What I learned from doing this assignment is that I was steering clear of cliché busting when I rewrote my outline and added depth to my characters and the storyline.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Solved Character Problems!

WIM Module 6 – 2023

Lesson 2: Solving Character Problems

What I learned from doing this assignment is my initial character descriptions were weak. I added more depth to the character triangle and even added kind of a red herring with the antagonist.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Structure Solutions!

WIM Module 6 – 2023

Lesson 1: Apply Structure Solutions

What I learned from doing this assignment is the outline has got to match.

List of changes:

Here’s the thing, when I exchanged outlines initially, I only had surface elements. So I added so much to the outline to make the story more dynamic and have it go even deeper. The changes were really reflected in this module.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

MAJOR STORY HOOK: Imagine thinking you can trust your doctor to prescribe you something to block your anxiety and instead you become a guinea pig for a clinical trial drug that causes extreme memory loss while you’re in a foreign country on your dream vacation!?

[H. Vince]

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

From Hal’s lessons and explanations, it seems like I’ve always been more of a free writer – just write as it comes to me. This structured set-up is more like a business machine to me. I get that since we’re in the process of creating something that sells. So it seems in order for me to do that, I have to in a way detach myself from this and look at this process differently and I think it’s showing in my writing. Especially with hearing about this writer’s strike. It seems like only the strong will survive and everyone else is replaceable. I’m starting to look at this process more and more like the full-time job I have now. Not the same industry but some similar means of survival.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Continues Act 4

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 13: Continue Act 4. 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Just to write and remembering I’m in the Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict before resolving it

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Started Act 4

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 12: Start Act 4. 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Writing…and writing…and some more breakthrough

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Finishing Act 3

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 11: Finish Up Act 3. Final 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Writing…and writing…and do I really know how this story will end?

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Continuing Act 3

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 10: Continue Act 3. Next 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Just keep writing..writing..writing…

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Began Act 3

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 9: Start Act 3! 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Aha! Ding! Lightbulb! So that’s what goes down in Act 3….

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Completed Act 2

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 8: Finish up Act 2. Final 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I’m discovering a lot of things I didn’t know about these characters

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Continuing Act 2

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 7: Continue Act 2. Next 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Write whatever comes to mind and edit later

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Began Act 2

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 6: Start Act 2. Write 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Use a timer and speed write in increments

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Finished Act 1

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 5: Finish Up Act 1. Final 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

To just write!

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince Next Act 1 Scenes

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 4: Continue Act 1. Next 6-10 Pages

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

To just write! I’ve had some technical issues and setbacks but I’m catching up with my posts

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

Written back on 8/16/23- I’m about to rapidly advance by posting to a number of WIM Module 5s

H. Vince Act 1 First Draft Part 1

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 3: Act 1. Write 3-5 Pages a Day

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

This got a bit confusing because Lesson 3 wouldn’t open until this morning on Screenwritingclasses.com so maybe I’m behind?? I only have 9 pages written so far. Haha! I better speed write more tomorrow.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s World and Characters!

Mastering the Thriller Genre – 2023

Lesson 3: Creating World/Characters with MIS

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Breaking it right down to some main players and how they carry the suspense of the movie…

LOGLINE: A young man’s cancellation pushes him into a domino effect of discoveries including finding out the truth about his mother and why she tried to abort him.

WORLD: Southern California beach city and then kidnapped and put in a controlled operative facility.

HERO:

Victor Saint

Mystery: What do Donna’s employers want with him?

Intrigue: He’s kind but he also has a somewhat not caring Gen Z attitude.

Suspense: What will he do now that his life is turned upside down?

RED HERRING:

Donna (the woman that Victor thought was his mom)

Mystery: Victor thought she was his mom and he finds out she’s not.

Intrigue: She has been playing the role of Victor’s mother his whole life and got attached to him even though she thought she wasn’t interested in having a family.

Suspense: Will Donna be loyal to her employers or help Victor?

VILLIAN:

Donna’s employers

Mystery: Is it the government? Who put Donna in place?

Intrigue: Why would they care so much about some average young man?

Suspense: They put Donna in place for a reason.

Big Mystery:

Who are the people that kidnapped Victor and what do they want with him?

Big Intrigue:

What happens to this young man when he is pushed into a different life without his consent?

Big Suspense:

What will Victor do with his newfound information?

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Big MIS

Mastering the Thriller Genre – 2023

Lesson 2: Creating the Big MIS

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I learned to break down this story to brass tacks. In other words, what am I trying to convey/accomplish here as a Thriller?

LOGLINE: A young man’s cancellation pushes him into a domino effect of discoveries including finding out the truth about his mother and why she tried to abort him.

Movie Conventions

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero:

Victor Saint

Dangerous Villain:

Donna (the woman that Victor thought was his mom)

High Stakes:

A young man’s life is weighing on whether others will make it also.

Life and Death Situations:

Wild animal deaths, discovered human deaths. Abortion

This Movie is Thrilling Because?:

The element of not knowing what’s coming next for the characters and the audience.

Big Mystery:

Who are the people that kidnapped Victor and what do they want with him?

Big Intrigue:

What happens to this young man when he is pushed into a different life without his consent?

Big Suspense:

What will Victor do with his newfound information?

[H. Vince]

Student: H. Vince

Subject: The Last Son (2021) Thriller Conventions

Mastering the Thriller Genre – 2023

Lesson 1: The Conventions of Thrillers

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

A few things.

1. Most of the movies Hal listed as Thrillers, Amazon Prime calls them Suspense except for Silence of the Lambs they categorize as Horror and North by Northwest is Thrilling

2. I happened to find out about this movie I analyzed because I read an article about the actor Sam Worthington and how he purposely became homeless before James Cameron sought him out for Avatar. I then realized he has been filming a few more Avatars simultaneously up to Avatar 5 which is set to be released in 2031. Can you imagine locking that down?

3. So I wondered, “what else has Sam been in?” and one title caught my eye. It was the movie “The Last Son” which I hadn’t heard about. I started writing a movie in 2020 called “The Last Son” which is the one I’m going to work on for this last class. It so happens it is also a SciFi Thriller but completely different story line. So of course, I had to watch it and rethink my own title.

4. This movie made $955 according to IMDB!? Recognizable actors are in it such as Heather Graham, Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly). The movie went from winning a couple of awards at some festivals to straight to DVD and internet release.

Movie Conventions (Warning: Major SPOILER ALERTS upcoming)

Unwitting but Resourceful Hero:

You may think it’s Lieutenant Solomon raised by the Cheyenne but it’s actually the daughter.

Dangerous Villain:

Isaac LeMay and his son Cal is also.

High Stakes:

Surrounding people are minding their own business but they could get caught up with a bullet. A man of God tried to warn Solomon they’re chasing the devil so everyone is at risk for encountering evil and death.

Life and Death Situations:

People are getting killed left and right in this film so it’s basically a who is going to die next scenario.

This Movie is Thrilling Because?:

This is something I learned from making a movie. The script is a good base but the final product brought on by the editing really creates the mood. The movie is set in the wild west with harsh conditions, uncaring attitudes and suspenseful music. And you’re wondering which child is going to kill the cursed guy in the end.

Big Mystery:

The big mystery to me for a bit was who is really the good guy in all of this?

Big Intrigue:

Who is going to kill who throughout the movie and in the end.

Big Suspense:

There was a scene which is was so telling about people not knowing who they are trying to track down in the old west if they’ve never seen them before. Cal came across his dad at one point but didn’t realize it was his dad.

What else worth mentioning that made this movie a great thriller?

The movie got to the point immediately. It started off with the villain, which may be an unconventional way of telling a story because the hero usually gets the beginning introduction with a build up for the audience to root for them. I like this different way of presentation. Also, the hero was given a short time to be cared for by the audience and I think that delivered.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince

“I agree to the terms of this release form.”

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

[H. Vince]

Hello!

Name: H. Vince

How many scripts have I written? An actual number is TBD after taking Hal’s classes.

What do I hope to get out the class? A new perspective and understanding of writing a thriller to help with ones I have already drafted and am working on.

Something unique? Maybe not so unique, some people may do this often, but I recently finished making a short film based on a screenplay I wrote about 5 years ago.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 3: Act 1. Write 3-5 Pages a Day

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

This got a bit confusing because Lesson 3 wouldn’t open until this morning on Screenwritingclasses.com so maybe I’m behind?? I only have 9 pages written so far. Haha! I better speed write more tomorrow.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

WRITTEN BY: H. Vince

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

HIGH CONCEPT: When a retired couple finally take their dream vacation, the husband starts showing signs of rapid dementia and leaves his wife in distress in a foreign country.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Completed Act 3

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 20: Finish Act 3

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I need to move the scenes all up. Parts are missing. This isn’t criticizing myself. It’s just analyzing that I’ve spread it out too much. This is definitely first draft eye openers. I should be more around scene 30 at least in this act. Act 4 is going to be too crowded and/or short. I can already tell. Much more of the story should be revealed by now.

Act 3:

REACTION TO MIDPOINT:

Reaction: Victor is feeling lost, abandonment, confusion, sadness after hearing he is an assignment and was supposed to be aborted.

Rethink: It was assumed he may have wanted proof so he was already assigned access to observe.

Act 3:

18. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

BEGINNING: Victor is dealing with this news

MIDDLE: This mysterious woman is his sister

END: They took Victor’s microchip out

19. INT. VICTOR’S HOME – DAY

BEGINNING: Donna realizes Victor is disconnected

MIDDLE: Donna contacts her superiors

INT. VICTOR’S HOME – DAY – FLASHBACK

END: Donna remembers good times with Victor

20. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

BEGINNING: Victor finds out he is in Level 1 transport access with chaperones

INT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

MIDDLE: Access granted to see the past in real life but no clearance for interference

INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY – REWIND

END: Victor wakes up at his friend Jeremy’s house

PROTAGONIST TURNING POINT/LOWEST LOW:

Imagine finding out you were supposed to be aborted and then the people that proved it to you took off without any purpose of what you were supposed to do next? This is where that happens…unless I completely fix this later which I’m saying there’s a chance..

MAKE A NEW PLAN:

Victor looks up his real mom to ask Donna about it

THINGS GO WELL UNTIL: Donna ends up trying to have Victor controlled

21. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY

BEGINNING: Victor wakes up again at his friend’s house like he did when he blacked out at the party not sure if he dreamed it all.

EXT. DRIVING

MIDDLE: Victor leaves but no ducks are seen this time

EXT. VICTOR’S HOUSE

END: Victor arrives at home

22. INT. VICTOR’S HOUSE- DAY

BEGINNING: Victor sees Donna but doesn’t mention what happened in case he sounds crazy

MIDDLE: Victor remembers his real mom’s name and calls his friend for help.

END: Victor finds info about his real mom

23. INT. VICTOR’S HOUSE – DAY

BEGINNING: Victor confronts Donna with evidence

MIDDLE: Donna tries to have Victor’s chip controlled

END: Victor leaves

24. UNKNOWN LOCATION

BEGINNING: Victor is in feelings not caring right now

MIDDLE: Victor starts building rage

END: Victor gets into trouble

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 3 Turning Point

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 19: Act 3 Turning Point

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I’m having mixed feelings about the journey of the story. I’ll just put whatever comes to mind for now and revise later to keep moving forward.

Act 3:

PROTAGONIST TURNING POINT/LOWEST LOW:

Imagine finding out you were supposed to be aborted and then the people that proved it to you took off without any purpose of what you were supposed to do next? This is where that happens…unless I completely fix this later which I’m saying there’s a chance..

24. UNKNOWN LOCATION

BEGINNING: Victor is in feelings not caring right now

MIDDLE: Victor starts building rage

END: Victor gets into trouble

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 3 Middle Scenes

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 18: Act 3 Middle Scenes

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I’m having mixed feelings about the journey of the story. I’ll just put whatever comes to mind for now and revise later to keep moving forward.

Act 3:

MAKE A NEW PLAN:

Victor looks up his real mom to ask Donna about it

THINGS GO WELL UNTIL: Donna ends up trying to have Victor controlled

21. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY

BEGINNING: Victor wakes up again at his friend’s house like he did when he blacked out at the party not sure if he dreamed it all.

EXT. DRIVING

MIDDLE: Victor leaves but no ducks are seen this time

EXT. VICTOR’S HOUSE

END: Victor arrives at home

22. INT. VICTOR’S HOUSE- DAY

BEGINNING: Victor sees Donna but doesn’t mention what happened in case he sounds crazy

MIDDLE: Victor remembers his real mom’s name and calls his friend for help.

END: Victor finds info about his real mom

23. INT. VICTOR’S HOUSE – DAY

BEGINNING: Victor confronts Donna with evidence

MIDDLE: Donna tries to have Victor’s chip controlled

END: Victor leaves

[H. Vince]

H. Vince High Speed Writing Rules

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 2: High Speed Writing

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I put on my timer and wrote 5 pages in 50 minutes.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince

WIM Module 5 – 2023

Lesson 1: Basic Formatting, Description and Dialogue

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Well after listening to Hal’s one hour lesson, I learned to be okay with not being perfect on this first draft and just write what comes to mind sticking to the first scene’s outline.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 3 Reaction to Midpoint

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 17: Act 3 Begins

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Since I signed up for too many Screenwriting Classes at once, I have to outline this rather than write it out to stay on track with the class. I realize I may be combing multiple scenes into one but trying to outline key scenes/plot.

REACTION TO MIDPOINT:

Reaction: Victor is feeling lost, abandonment, confusion, sadness after hearing he is an assignment and was supposed to be aborted.

Rethink: It was assumed he may have wanted proof so he was already assigned access to observe.

Act 3:

18. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

BEGINNING: Victor is dealing with this news

MIDDLE: This mysterious woman is his sister

END: They took Victor’s microchip out

19. INT. VICTOR’S HOME – DAY

BEGINNING: Donna realizes Victor is disconnected

MIDDLE: Donna contacts her superiors

INT. VICTOR’S HOME – DAY – FLASHBACK

END: Donna remembers good times with Victor

20. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

BEGINNING: Victor finds out he is in Level 1 transport access with chaperones

INT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

MIDDLE: Access granted to see the past in real life but no clearance for interference

INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY – REWIND

END: Victor wakes up at his friend Jeremy’s house

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Has Completed Act 2: Draft 1

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 16: Finish Act 2

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Since I signed up for too many Screenwriting Classes at once, I have to outline this rather than write it out to stay on track with the class.

REACTION TO TURNING POINT IN ACT 1/NEW PLAN:

Act 2:

12. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

BEGINNING: Victor wakes up not knowing where he is

MIDDLE: Victor tries to get up but he’s tied down

END: A beautiful woman approaches Victor holding eyedrops

13. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – CONTINUOUS

BEGINNING: Victor asks if the eyedrops are safe.

MIDDLE: The woman says something familiar that his mom would say.

END: Victor recognizes her from before he gave his order at the fast-food restaurant

14. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY – FLASHBACK

BEGINNING: Woman giving Victor his phone after he set it down

INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

MIDDLE: The woman asks Victor if he wants to know what happened to his real mom

END: The woman puts eyedrops in Victor’s eyes

PLAN IN ACTION:

15. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – CONTINUOUS

BEGINNING: A song starts playing in Victor’s head

EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS – NIGHT – FLASHBACK – DIFFERENT OUTCOME

MIDDLE: Victor sees the ducks incident this time differently that brings tears to his eyes

END: Victor decides he’s going to escape

16. INT. VICTOR’S HOME – DAY

BEGINNING: Donna is trying to reach Victor

INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – CONTINUOUS

MIDDLE: Victor tries to escape again

END: Victor agrees to find out why he’s there

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT:

17. EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

BEGINNING: Victor finds out about his real mom

INT. ABORTION CLINIC

MIDDLE: Donna was assigned to take care of Victor

INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – CONTINUOUS

END: Victor is devastated that he was supposed to be aborted and Donna is not his mom.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Marketing Campaign

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 12: Putting Marketing Campaigns into Action

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I think this last question should be “What Did I Learn from This Course?” So far I found this course to be helpful if I solely rely on my understanding in following directions on each assignment and gaining peer review. I think the ultimate test is if my script is requested with one or more of the strategies given.

MARKETING CAMPAIGN CHOSEN:

Strategy 23, 24, and 25: Network at Film Events

Use each of these strategies to meet Industry pros at the events they attend.

Pitch fests (23) put you across the table from producers. Film festivals (24) have you sitting next to them in movie theaters. And L.A. Industry events (25) put you in their environment.

PLAN OF ACTION:

I am currently in the editing process of a film I made for a script other than the one I used for this class. I will be submitting the film to one or more film festivals. And with those contacts, I will use the opportunity to pitch my other scripts.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 15: Act 2 TP – The Midpoint

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Since I signed up for too many Screenwriting Classes at once, I have to outline this rather than write it out to stay on track with the class.

Act 2:

Midpoint Turning Point:

BEGINNING: Victor finds out about his real mom

MIDDLE: Donna was assigned to take care of Victor

END: Victor is devastated that he was supposed to be aborted and Donna is not his mom.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 2 Reaction to TP 1

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 13: Act 2 Begins

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

The issue with writing day or night below in those three scenes is that I don’t even know.

REACTION TO TURNING POINT IN ACT 1

Act 2:

12. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

BEGINNING: Victor wakes up not knowing where he is

MIDDLE: Victor tries to get up but he’s tied down

END: A beautiful woman approaches Victor holding eyedrops

13. INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – CONTINUOUS

BEGINNING: Victor asks if the eyedrops are safe.

MIDDLE: The woman says something familiar that his mom would say.

END: Victor recognizes her from before he gave his order at the fast-food restaurant

14. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY – FLASHBACK

BEGINNING: Woman giving Victor his phone after he set it down

INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY – BACK TO PRESENT DAY

MIDDLE: The woman asks Victor if he wants to know what happened to his real mom

END: The woman puts eyedrops in Victor’s eyes

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Query Letter Draft ONE

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 11: Exchange Critiques On Your Pitches

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I need some feedback to see how others receive this.

QUERY LETTER FORM:

Date:

Name

Address

Hello <enter name, organization or department>,

My name is H. Vince and I am a woman with a business degree that has worked in the business world for decades. I got paid by an author to do dictation for her book when I was in college. I also used to write entertainment columns for an online publication. I am interested in presenting a script that will be profitable for everyone involved.

I have written a Psychological Thriller called MENTAL.

It answers the question: What happens when Allie’s boss dangled that final pay day carrot so much it’s getting harder to see the end?

SYNOPSIS:

Instead of a closed-door physical office relationship imagine a mind altering one. What if you’re stuck in a white walled room day after day in a brown dreary building with someone that claims he has severe depression and that someone is your boss. You’ve tried to escape in the past, but his saying of just wait until the finish line and I’ll make it worth your while is making you hold on. Every day his cyclic venting is chipping away at your own sanity. Are things really happening as you think? That possible pay day light at the end is becoming foggier for Allie. There’s major turnover happening. The staff doesn’t respect the boss either and prove it with a humiliating April Fool’s Joke. After being told she is delusional and Allie finds a way out, she ends up causing a major traffic accident bringing more people down with her than her boss did.

If this concept interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script. Please see my contact information below. Thank you for your time and consideration.

H. Vince

<phone number>

<email address>

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Target Market

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 10: How To Target Your Market

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Finding a list of possible producers that may be interested in investing in this movie.

TITLE: MENTAL

LOGLINE: It’s getting more difficult waiting for that dangled carrot pay day every time her clinically depressed boss walks in and closes her office door and reigns all his negative energy on her until she’s told she’s been mentally delusional all along.

GENRE: DRAMA/PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER

Make a list of five or more movies that are similar to yours:

The Assistant (2019)

Secretary (2002)

American Psycho (2000)

He Was a Quiet Man (2007)

Falling Down (1993)

and five actors that you might want to play your lead characters:

ALLIE:

Alicia Silverstone

Lily Rabe

Leelee Sobieski

Elizabeth Rodriguez

Mena Suvari

PAT:

Jeffrey Tambor

John Lithgow

J.K. Simmons

James Spader

Stanley Tucci

Using the Targeting process above, go to http://www.imdb.com and find 50 to 100 producers (or more) for your specific project:

Also used Fight Club and the series Headhunters to help with this list:

1. David Fincher

2. Darren Aronofsky

3. Ernie Barbarash

4. Alessandro Camon

5. Joseph Drake

6. Christian Halsey Solomon

7. Chris Hanley

8. Victoria Hirst

9. Gretchen McGowan

10. Michael Paseornek

11. Edward R. Pressman

12. Jeff Sackman

13. Clifford Streit

14. Rob Weiss

15. Scott Macaulay

16. Abigail Disney

17. P. Jennifer Dana

18. Phillip Engelhorn

19. Avy Eschenasy

20. Leah Giblin

21. Kitty Green

22. John Howard

23. Ross Jacobson

24. Sean King O’Grady

25. Jimmy Price

26. Mark Roberts

27. James Schamus

28. The Level Forward Team

29. Rita Walsh

30. Jamie Beardsley

31. Andrew Fierberg

32. Amy Hobby

33. Joel Posner

34. P.J. Posner

35. Michael Roban

36. Steven Shainberg

37. Frank A. Cappello

38. Jason Hallock

39. Michael Leahy

40. Teresa Zales

41. Mary Harron

42. William S. Beasley

43. Stephen Joel Brown

44. Nana Greenwald

45. Timothy Harris

46. Dan Kolsrud

47. Arnold Kopelson

48. Arnon Milchan

49. Ebbe Roe Smith

50. John Tomko

51. Herschel Weingrod

52. Kirk Baxter

53. Cean Chaffin

54. Jim Davidson

55. Joshua Donen

56. William Doyle

57. Jennifer Erwin

58. Beth Kono

59. Peter Mavromates

60. Charlize Theron

61. Andrea McKee

62. Joe Penhall

63. Mark Winemaker

64. Julie M. Anderson

65. Liz Hannah

66. Courtenay Miles

67. Jennifer Haley

68. Ross Grayson Bell

69. John S. Dorsey

70. Art Linson

71. Arnon Milchan

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Phone Pitch

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 9: Phone Pitches Without Pain

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Preparing a phone pitch that will get my script requested.

1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:

Lead with credibility.

I am a woman with a business degree that has worked in the business world for decades. I got paid by an author to do dictation for her book when I was in college. I also used to write entertainment columns for an online publication. I am interested in presenting script that will be profitable for everyone involved.

2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.

Hi, I’m H. Vince and I’m wondering if I could run a quick pitch (OR logline or concept) by you?

The genre is Drama/Thriller. The title is Mental. It answers the question: What happens when Allie’s boss dangled that final payoff carrot so much it leads her further down the mental rabbit hole?

3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:

What’s the budget range? I’d say low to mid budget depending on what actors you want to use.

Who do you see in the main roles? This is a great opportunity for up-and-coming actors just how Julia Garner took a relatable role in The Assistant in 2019. One of the women from Orange is The New Black could really be a possibility. One role like this could really give a female actress a boost in the industry just like when Bryce Dallas Howard did that memorable Black Mirror role in the Nosedive episode. Or Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada.

How many pages is the script? 90 pages

Who else has seen this? Screenwriting peers, family members and the U.S. Copyright Office

Why do you think this fits our company? I saw that you produced the movie <example: American Psycho> and I love that film. I wanted to see if your company would be interested in representing a movie where a woman goes mad due to her overpowering and mentally abusive boss.

How does the movie end? Well, there’s a conflict between Allie, Pat (the boss) and a Principal who is supposed to buy the business off of Pat. Pat tells Allie she is delusional and calls her out that she pretends she is a mother like she always wanted to be. He hears her talking on the phone to her “daughter” during her lunches. Allie wins the small victory of working at home and when she is on the way home driving in her car, listening to a celebratory freedom song, she pops a cap off a soda, it flies back and hits her in the eye and she causes a major traffic accident.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Pitch Fest Pitch

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 8: Great Pitch 3: Being a Star at Pitch Fests!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

creating a pitch that gets my script requested!

Hi, my name is H. Vince and I have been a manager and business owner in the business world for a few decades. I used to write entertainment columns for an online publication.

I have Thriller called MENTAL.

It answers the question: What happens when Allie’s boss dangled that carrot so much it leads her further down the rabbit hole?

4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:

What is the budget range? I’d say low to mid budget depending on what actors you want to use.

What actors do you like for the lead roles? This is a great opportunity for up-and-coming actors just how Julie Garner took a relatable role in The Assistant in 2019. Household A listers would really like this one as well.

Give me the acts of the story.

The movie opens on an office birthday party. It introduces the main characters, which is the boss, Pat who claims he has clinical depression and the Office Manager, Allie. The first act shows a conflict the boss has with one of the employees that drives the employee to tell him off and quit. Unfortunately, Allie imagines the whole thing.

It then shows the build-up of Pat coming into Allie’s office every day and closing the door and unloading all his problems, insecurities, complaints on her and there’s never a solution. He is the definition of insanity. She feels she can’t leave. She’s stuck because he dangled the metaphoric carrot for her to wait until he retires playing on her insecurities. Allie’s small mental attempts to escape are mostly delusions. Meanwhile the staff goes through their own hatred of Pat including high turnover and a planned April Fool joke that angers Pat even more.

How does it end? (setup / payoff). Well, there’s a conflict between Allie, Pat and a Principal who is supposed to buy the business off of Pat. Pat tells Allie she is delusional and calls her out that she pretends she is a mother like she always wanted to be. He hears her talking on the phone to her “daughter” during her lunches. Allie wins the small victory of working at home and when she is on the way home driving in her car, listening to a celebratory freedom song, she pops a cap off a soda, it flies back and hits her in the eye and she causes a major traffic accident.

Credibility questions What have you done? I’ve worked in the business world for decades. I’m protecting the guilty by not making some of it a true story. Many people especially women will be able to relate.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  H. Vince.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Finished Act 1

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 12: Finish Act 1

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Combing all prior assignments to complete Act 1 made this assignment easier.

Act 1:

1. INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Opening: PROTAGONIST INTRO

Beginning: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break

Middle: Chill acquaintances conversations with rich young adults but doesn’t relate

End: Victor’s order is called, he waves goodbye to the group and exits the restaurant

2. EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY

Beginning: Walks up to less than perfect Honda and gets in

Middle: EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY

Victor listens to music (preferably Arcade Fire)

EXT. BEACH – DAY

End: Victor stops at the beach

3. EXT. BEACH – DAY

Beginning: Intro to VICTOR’S good friend

Middle: VICTOR finds out about a party

INT. VICTOR’S PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT – DAY

End: Back to his meaningless job

4. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Beginning: Victor and his friends drinking, toking, talking about life

Middle: The friends ask each other one bad habit they want to stop. Victor mentions something his mom told him.

End: Alcohol induced black-out

5. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out all groggy

Middle: Victor has calls and texts from his mom Donna (ANTAGONIST INTRO). She is upset not knowing where Victor was all night

End: Leaves Jeremy’s early morning while it’s still dark outside.

6. EXT. DRIVING HOME – DAY

Beginning: Victor stops abruptly at a railroad crossing where a duck and ducklings are crossing.

Middle: Victor sees another vehicle approaching and he gets fearful the vehicle might not stop which also awakens Victor even more after his night last night.

End: The truck stops just in time for the ducks to cross and for Victor to show relief.

Inciting Incident:

7. INT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR takes his car to get an oil change.

Middle: Mechanic asks about dents on car hood. VICTOR makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic.

End: Mechanic puts VICTOR on blast on social media

8. EXT. DRIVING – DAY

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled

Beginning: VICTOR starts getting negative notifications on his phone from online sources.

Middle: VICTOR’s good friend contacts him to meet up

INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

End: VICTOR shows up at the frozen yogurt spot.

9. INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR meets up with his good friend and friend’s girlfriend.

EXT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

Middle: Friend convo that gets moved to an outside table

End: Some kids show up recognizing Victor from social media calling him out. VICTOR decides to confront the mechanic.

Turning Point:

10. EXT. MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR shows up to the mechanic shop

Middle: Mechanic goes live on social media saying he is in danger.

End: VICTOR tries to tell the mechanic that it was a joke.

11. EXT MECHANIC SHOP – DAY – CONTINUOUS

Beginning: Just then a car pulls up on the side of the road and some guys get out.

Middle: Some random guys hassle VICTOR.

End: Something hits the phone. Live feed gets cut. Everything goes black.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by  H. Vince.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Turning Point 1 Scenes

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 11: Act 1 Turning Point

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

The inciting incident is the point of no return that forces everything to move forward.

Act 1:

Turning Point:

EXT. MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR shows up to the mechanic shop

Middle: Mechanic goes live on social media saying he is in danger.

End: VICTOR tries to tell the mechanic that it was a joke.

EXT MECHANIC SHOP – DAY – CONTINUOUS

Beginning: Just then a car pulls up on the side of the road and some guys get out.

Middle: Some random guys hassle VICTOR.

End: Something hits the phone. Live feed gets cut. Everything goes black.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Inciting Incident

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 10: Act 1 Inciting Incident

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Breaking the script down in sections to make it easier to complete.

Act 1:

Inciting Incident:

INT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR takes his car to get an oil change.

Middle: Mechanic asks about dents on car hood. VICTOR makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic.

End: Mechanic puts VICTOR on blast on social media

EXT. DRIVING – DAY

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled

Beginning: VICTOR starts getting negative notifications on his phone from online sources.

INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

Middle: VICTOR meets up with his good friend and friend’s girlfriend.

EXT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

End: Some kids show up recognizing Victor from social media calling him out. VICTOR decides to confront the mechanic.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Act 1: Opening Scenes

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 9: Act 1 Opening and Character Introductions

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Breaking the opening down to make it easier to create the scenes and introduce the main characters.

Act 1:

1. INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Opening: PROTAGONIST INTRO

Beginning: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break

Middle: Chill acquaintances conversations with rich young adults but doesn’t relate

End: Victor’s order is called, he waves goodbye to the group and exits the restaurant

2. EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY

Beginning: Walks up to less than perfect Honda and gets in

Middle: EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY

Victor listens to music (preferably Arcade Fire) and stops at the beach

EXT. BEACH – DAY

Victor stops at the beach and finds out about a party

End: Back to his meaningless job

3. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Beginning: Victor and his friends drinking, toking, talking about life

Middle: The friends ask each other one bad habit they want to stop. Victor mentions something his mom told him.

End: Alcohol induced black-out

4. INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY

Beginning: VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out all groggy

Middle: Victor has calls and texts from his mom Donna (ANTAGONIST INTRO). She is upset not knowing where Victor was all night

End: Leaves Jeremy’s early morning while it’s still dark outside.

5. EXT. DRIVING HOME – DAY

Beginning: Victor stops abruptly at a railroad crossing where a duck and ducklings are crossing.

Middle: Victor sees another vehicle approaching and he gets fearful the vehicle might not stop which also awakens Victor even more after his night last night.

End: The truck stops just in time for the ducks to cross and for Victor to show relief.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Beat Sheet Draft 2

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 8: Add Theme and Antagonist Journey

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

More about what Victor is going to do.

Act 1:

INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Opening: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break

PJ: Chill acquaintances with rich young adults but doesn’t relate

EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY

PJ: Walks up to less than perfect Honda

EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY

Victor listens to music (preferably Arcade Fire)

Victor stops at the beach and finds out about a party

INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Victor and his friends drinking, toking, talking about life

The friends ask each other one bad habit they want to stop

INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – DAY

VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out

AJ: Donna is upset not knowing where Victor was all night

EXT. DRIVING HOME – DAY

Victor stops abruptly at a railroad crossing where a duck and ducklings cross.

INT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Inciting Incident:

PJ: Victor makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic

Mechanic puts Victor on blast on social media

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled

INT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

Victor meets up with his good friend and girlfriend.

EXT. FROYO SHOP – DAY

Some kids show up recognizing him

EXT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Turning Point:

PJ: Victor shows up to mechanic shop to talk to him about what he did

People show up trying to get involved

Black-out

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Kidnapped

Act 2:

INT. UNKNOWN ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

New plan:

PJ: Victor wakes up tied down not knowing where he is

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Forcefully given eyedrops to see alternate outcomes

Plan in action:

PJ: Victor decides he wants to know about his mom

AJ: Donna can’t find Victor

EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

Midpoint Turning Point:

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Finds out about his real mom and that Donna was assigned to take care of him

Act 3:

Rethink everything:

AJ: Flashback to Donna’s assignment

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Victor finds out why he’s important/special

AJ: Victor feels the need to confront Donna

New plan:

AJ: Victor finds purpose

PJ: Flashback to Donna teaching Victor alternate ways of living but with caveats

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Trust people he’s just met recently

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:

PJ: Victor is just a regular guy who makes mistakes and not a hero

AJ: Donna and her people find information on where Victor is

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

PJ: Victor’s chip was taken out by his kidnappers.

AJ: Donna feels lost not being Victor’s “mother” any longer

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Realizes there’s no going back with what he knows now

Resolution

PJ: Victor changes his physical identity

AJ: Donna gets killed

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s High Speed Beat Sheet

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 7: Beat Sheet and High Speed Writing

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

The difficulty in trying to come up with the exact locations in a day or so where Victor is at but I’m just going to keep moving and turn this as is.

Act 1:

INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Opening: Victor is ordering some food on his lunch break

PJ: Chill acquaintances with rich young adults but doesn’t relate

EXT. OUTSIDE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT- DAY

PJ: Walks up to less than perfect Honda

EXT. ON THE ROAD DRIVING – DAY

Numerous stops before going back to work

INT. JEREMY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out

AJ: Donna is upset not knowing where Victor was all night

INT. MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Inciting Incident:

PJ: Victor makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic

Mechanic puts Victor on blast on social media

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled

Placeholder: Victor meets up with his good friend and girlfriend and some kids show up recognizing him

EXT. AUTO MECHANIC SHOP – DAY

Turning Point:

PJ: Victor shows up to mechanic shop to talk to him about what he did

People show up trying to get involved

Black-out

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Kidnapped

Act 2:

INT. UNKNOWN ROOM – UNKNOWN TIME OF DAY

New plan:

PJ: Victor wakes up tied down not knowing where he is

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Forcefully given eyedrops to see alternate outcomes

Plan in action:

PJ: Victor decides he wants to know about his mom

AJ: Donna can’t find Victor

EXT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY

Midpoint Turning Point:

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Finds out about his real mom and that Donna was assigned to take care of him

Act 3:

Rethink everything:

AJ: Flashback to Donna’s assignment

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Victor finds out why he’s important/special

New plan:

AJ: Victor finds purpose

PJ: Flashback to Donna teaching Victor alternate ways of living but with caveats

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Trust people he’s just met recently

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:

PJ: Victor is just a regular guy who makes mistakes and not a hero

AJ: Donna and her people find information on where Victor is

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

PJ: Victor’s chip was taken out by his kidnappers

AJ: Donna feels lost not being Victor’s “mother” any longer

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Realizes there’s no going back with what he knows now

Resolution

PJ: Victor changes his physical identity

AJ: Donna gets killed

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Query Letter

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 7: Write A Great Query Letter

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I think I should change my main character’s name to Alice or Allie.

OPENING HOOK:

What happens when Allie’s boss dangled that carrot so much it leads her further down the rabbit hole?

SYNOPSIS:

Instead of a closed-door physical office relationship imagine a mind altering one. What if you’re stuck in a white walled room day after day in a brown dreary building with someone that claims he has severe depression and that someone is your boss. You’ve tried to escape in the past, but his saying of just wait until the finish line and I’ll make it worth your while is making you hold on. Every day his cyclic venting is chipping away at your own sanity. Are things really happening as you think? That possible pay day light at the end is becoming foggier for Allie. Even when she finally thinks she makes it out, she gets punished in the end.

BIO: H. Vince has been a manager in the business world for a few decades.

REQUEST: If this concept interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script.

CONTACT INFO: H. Vince, <phone number>, <email address>

QUERY LETTER FORM:

Date:

Name

Address

Hello <enter name, organization or department>!

My name is H. Vince and I have been a manager in the business world for a few decades.

Title: MENTAL

Genre: Drama/Thriller

What happens when Allie’s boss dangled that carrot so much it leads her further down the rabbit hole?

Instead of a closed-door physical office relationship imagine a mind altering one. What if you’re stuck in a white walled room day after day in a brown dreary building with someone that claims he has severe depression and that someone is your boss. You’ve tried to escape in the past, but his saying of just wait until the finish line and I’ll make it worth your while is making you hold on. Every day his cyclic venting is chipping away at your own sanity. Are things really happening as you think? That possible pay day light at the end is becoming foggier for Allie. Even when she finally thinks she makes it out, she gets punished in the end.

If this concept interests you, I’d be happy to send you the script. Please see my contact information below. Thank you for your time and consideration.

H. Vince

<phone number>

<email address>

[H. Vince]

Hello!

I am ready to exchange feedback with someone.

– H. Vince

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

While James and Clara are on their dream retirement vacation, James starts showing signs of rapid dementia.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 10: Making Every Scene Fascinating

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I had to catch up and write this as fast as possible which caused me to not really have many interest techniques added in. Taking other ScreenwritingU classes at the same time plus having a full-time job and other personal tasks may have not been the best decision.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

While James and Clara are on their dream retirement vacation, James starts show signs of rapid dementia.

Act 1:

1. INT. LAX – DAY

Beginning: JAMES and CLARA, (late 50s-60s), retired couple board the plane with excitement.

Middle: smiling, holding hands, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here

End: Find their seats

2. INT. PLANE – DAY

Beginning: JAMES orders drinks, asks the people sitting next to them if they want one also

Middle: Cheers to their retirement and vacation!

End: JAMES tells CLARA he planned a couple of good surprises

3. EXT. DESTINATION – NIGHT

Beginning: Arrive at their hotel

Middle: JAMES told the hotel it was their honeymoon since the hotel didn’t have special retirement perks

End: CLARA says she can’t wait to what happens next

4. EXT: VACATION DESTINATION – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Seeing the sights!

Middle: Essence: They’ve been waiting their whole lives to go here.

They finally made it!

The best day ever!

Dream come true!

NOTE: Maybe montage this

Ending: The couple kiss

5. INT. CAB RIDE – DAY

Beginning: Get in a cab

Middle: Conversation with cab driver

Ending: CLARA notices JAMES seems to be sweating unusually for the climate. She asks him if he’s okay. He blows it off without making a big deal. She doesn’t question it any longer and forgets about it.

Subtext: James is starting to feel off

6. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Beginning: Waiter pours wine in their glasses

Middle: A toast is made

End: JAMES spills his drink

7. INT. RESTAURANT BATHROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: JAMES excuses himself to the bathroom

Middle: JAMES putting water on his face. Looking at himself in the mirror. Looks stressed. Looks upset

End: Looks a little flustered exiting the bathroom. Looks around and sees CLARA smile and wave. He waves back and walks toward her.

8. EXT. CITY – NIGHT

Beginning: Walking back from the restaurant holding hands. JAMES looking at his wedding ring and looking at CLARA’s.

Middle: JAMES looks at CLARA and says how lucky he is

End: Elevator closes

9. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: Inciting Incident: James shows signs of memory loss.

Essence: James forgets where he is

Middle: Conflict: This is starting to ruin their dream vacation

Subtext: The edible is to blame and Clara has no idea at this point. Maybe the audience shouldn’t either.

End: Hope/fear: Clara gets scared that James is no longer in charge especially since he planned this whole trip.

Act 2:

10. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Scene arc: Plan to escape back home to deal with the situation.

Beginning: CLARA decides that JAMES needs to fly back home.

Middle: CLARA books tickets to leave the next day

Essence: CLARA is convinced that if she can just get JAMES home, she can be more calm and in control of the situation.

End: Conflict: JAMES forgets who CLARA is.

11. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Scene arc: CLARA realizes JAMES is experiencing rapid memory loss

Beginning: JAMES is not acting like himself – he seems scared.

Subtext: Clara is concerned for JAMES’s well being.

Middle: CLARA calls one of their sons back home

End: JAMES speaks to his son but then refers to him as a different person. CLARA gets more upset.

12. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: CLARA speaks to her son

Middle: The son suggests she call their doctor back home saying that the time difference is 9 hours so CLARA could call now for advice.

End: The son says to let him know what happens. CLARA ends call

13. INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning: DR. RIA receives notice of an emergency call from a patient that is abroad

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Middle: CLARA is told over the phone by DR. RIA that JAMES was just there which is news to her.

End: DR. RIA says he can’t disclose anything further without JAMES’s consent

14. INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY (FLASHBACK)

Beginning: JAMES is in the patient room

Middle: JAMES tells DR. RIA about anxiety he’s been having

End: JAMES tells DR. RIA he hasn’t told his family and doesn’t want to worry them. He just wants to be able to relax on the vacation with his wife.

15. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT NIGHT)

Beginning: JAMES is confused

Middle: CLARA tries some kind of comforting trick.

End: Clara gets JAMES to calm down and tells him to just go to sleep and that tomorrow will be better.

16. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Scene arc: Hope/fear: CLARA is afraid JAMES may have dementia

Beginning: CLARA lying in bed not able to sleep.

INT. SALON – DAY (FLASHBACK)

Middle: Conversation CLARA had with hairdresser on different types of dementia and how to get it.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT (BACK TO PRESENT NIGHT)

End: CLARA falls asleep

17. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: CLARA has a dream

Middle: Stress induced dream

End: End of dream

18. INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Beginning: CLARA wakes up to a stunning view

Middle: Where is JAMES?

End: JAMES is missing

Act 3:

19. INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Beginning: CLARA calls front desk to inquire if anyone has seen JAMES

Essence: Clara needs to find her missing husband, James.

Middle: Staff needs a picture of JAMES

End: CLARA throws on clothes and races down to front desk to show a pic of JAMES on her phone.

20. INT. HOTEL FRONT DESK – DAY

Beginning: Staff is not sure. There was some staff shift changes

Middle: CLARA insists they check the camera footage

End: A manager is alerted

Hope/fear: CLARA is scared out of her mind that her husband is missing in a foreign country and will she ever find him?

21. Beginning: CLARA insists the police are called to file a missing persons report

Middle: CLARA contacts her kids to tell them what happened

End: Police show up

22. INT. HOTEL FRONT DESK – DAY

Scene arc: CLARA gets assistance to find James

Beginning: Police take CLARA’s report and request hotel camera footage

Middle: Meanwhile police are questioning people

Subtext: CLARA feels she failed JAMES by letting him leave when his mind is lost. She thinks she should have gotten him help sooner and not tried to just book a flight. She maybe didn’t take his condition as serious as she should have.

End: CLARA’s phone rings

23. INT. HOTEL FRONT DESK – DAY

Beginning: CLARA answers phone and it’s their son

INT. LAX AIRPORT – DAY

Middle: Son booked a flight to go help his mom CLARA find his dad JAMES

INT. HOTEL FRONT DESK

End: CLARA hangs up and tells the police her son booked a flight over

24. INT. HOTEL FRONT DESK – DAY

Beginning: The police tell CLARA they have retrieved the camera footage and they’re reviewing it now.

Middle: JAMES is seen leaving the hotel front lobby hours ago

End: Severe panic sets in for CLARA and she runs out the hotel front door

25. EXT. HOTEL FRONT ENTRANCE

Beginning: The police catch up to CLARA

Middle: The police tell CLARA that she should stay at the hotel in case JAMES returns. She is not familiar enough with the city to try to find him.

Subtext: CLARA feels helpless staying in one spot and has to be actively finding JAMES. She fears the worst.

End: Someone helps CLARA find James

26. EXT. FOREIGN CITY – DAY

Beginning: Introduce person that helps CLARA

Middle: Search for JAMES

Conflict: CLARA is running into dead ends trying to find James.

End: CLARA and JAMES son’s flight is cancelled

Act 4:

27. INT. LAX AIRPORT BATHROOM – DAY (FLASHBACK)

Beginning: JAMES is taking an edible without his wife knowing.

Middle: James exits airport bathroom to join his wife.

CLARA

Everything alright

JAMES

Of course dear

Ending: Back to bliss and anticipation of dream vacation.

28. EXT. FOREIGN CITY – DAY (BACK TO PRESENT DAY)

Beginning: CLARA looking up their travel insurance

Middle: CLARA finds a foreign doctor that she can take JAMES to once she finds him

End: Clue is discovered where JAMES has visited before

29. EXT. FOREIGN CITY – DAY

Beginning: Search for JAMES continues.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY (FLASHBACK)

Middle: JAMES leaves hotel in the morning

EXT. FOREIGN CITY – DAY (BACK TO PRESENT DAY)

End: CLARA finds JAMES

30. INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning: DR. RIA looking at clinical trial results

INT. FOREIGN DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Middle: CLARA takes JAMES to foreign doctor

End: The doctor is contemplating keeping James for observation and his safety for the time being until he can find out any information from his doctor back home.

31. INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning: DR. RIA being contacted by a foreign doctor inquiring about his medical history

Middle: DR. RIA hesitant to give information at first

INT. FOREIGN DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR FACILITY – DAY

End: CLARA finds out that the edible JAMES took was from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

32. INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY

Conflict: DR. RIA has been finding out this this clinical trial edible caused memory loss and failed to alert JAMES and his family even when he knew JAMES would be traveling abroad.

Beginning: DR. RIA receiving phone calls and complaints

INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY (FLASHBACK)

Middle: DR. RIA suggesting JAMES take a clinical trial edible to help his anxiety

INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY (FLASHBACK)

End: Prior issue where DR. RIA almost lost his medical license

33. INT. FOREIGN DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR FACILITY – DAY(BACK TO PRESENT DAY)

Subtext: CLARA is angry with JAMES for not telling her what was going on with him before their vacation

Beginning: CLARA struggling with her trust for JAMES and angry that he may be to blame for ruining their vacation.

Middle: CLARA gets clarity about why she should be there for her husband (maybe person that helped her find JAMES helps her realize this).

End: JAMES says something to CLARA that reminds her why she loves him.

34. INT. FOREIGN DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR FACILITY – DAY

Beginning: CLARA and JAMES’s son arrive

Middle: CLARA and son recall the good times and the bad

Hope/fear: Will James regain his memory or will his cognitive abilities continue to decline?

End: Clara’s son contacts a lawyer

Resolution:

35. INT. FOREIGN DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR FACILITY – DAY

Beginning: DR. RIA contacts CLARA

Middle: DR. RIA explains that memory loss is temporary and JAMES should be remembering soon.

End: James regains a spark of memory

36. INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning: DR. RIA receiving lawsuit letters

INT. DR. RIA’S OFFICE – DAY (FLASHBACK)

Middle: DR. RIA’s meeting regarding clinical trial edible

End: DR. RIA signing a contract to be paid for participants

37. JAMES AND CLARA’S HOME – DAY

Beginning: JAMES trying to make it up to CLARA

Middle: JAMES says they can try a different vacation

End: CLARA gets call from doctor that she has cancer

END

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 6: Great Pitch 1: High Concepts and Elevator Pitches

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

It really is in the perspective of the person writing the hook. For example, I read one for the Wizard of Oz recently: “Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.”

1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective:

Her boss dangled that carrot leading her further down the rabbit hole.

2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?

Dilemma: Pat promised Sandy it would be worth her while to continue working for him until he retires.

Main Conflict: Pat has repeated door close complaint sessions that are testing Sandy’s insanity.

What’s at stake? A possible light at the end of the tunnel pay day.

Goal/Unique Opposition: Earn money

3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?

There’s several office relationship movies out there but this one is unique in that the closed-door sessions aren’t physical but rather mind altering.

Imagine being stuck in a white walled room day after day in a brown dreary building with someone that claims he has severe depression and that someone is your boss. You’ve tried to escape in the past, but his carrot dangling promises made you stay and every day is another cyclic day chipping away at your own sanity.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Transformational Events

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 6: Transformational Events

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Breaking down the transformational events and adding them into the outline.

Concept:

Victor Saint is a young man that gets cancelled for jokingly saying something stupid. When he has no issue standing up for himself while people are trying to put him on blast, he gets kidnapped, blacks out and wakes up to an alternate reality where he is trusted with information about who aliens really are.

Main Conflict:

Victor is forced into a new reality beginning from being shown who his real mom is.

VICTOR: PROTAGONIST

Old Ways:

1. Naïve

2. Just cruising through life doing the bare minimum.

3. Gets disappointed with himself but not so much that he does anything to really change.

New Ways:

1. Has been behind the curtain educated and experienced.

2. Has direction.

3. Doesn’t take life for granted.

Act 1:

Opening:

PJ:

Victor does same routine: food, meaningless job, hanging out with friends smoking, drinking & philosophizing

Chill acquaintances with rich young adults but doesn’t relate

VICTOR TRANSFORMATIONAL EVENT: Disappointed when he wakes up from a black-out

AJ:

Donna is upset not knowing where Victor was all night

Inciting Incident:

PJ:

Victor makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic

Mechanic puts Victor on blast on social media

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Gets cancelled

Turning Point:

PJ:

Victor shows up to mechanic shop to talk to him about what he did

People show up trying to get involved

Black-out

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Kidnapped

Act 2:

New plan:

PJ:

Victor wakes up tied down not knowing where he is

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Forcefully given eyedrops to see alternate outcomes

Plan in action:

PJ: Victor decides he wants to know about his mom

AJ: Donna can’t find Victor

Midpoint Turning Point:

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Finds out about his real mom and that Donna was assigned to take care of him

Act 3:

Rethink everything:

AJ: Flashback to Donna’s assignment

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Victor finds out why he’s important/special

New plan:

AJ: Victor finds purpose

PJ: Flashback to Donna teaching Victor alternate ways of living but with caveats

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Trust people he’s just met recently

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:

PJ: Victor is just a regular guy who makes mistakes and not a hero.

AJ: Donna and her people find information on where Victor is

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

VICTOR’S TRANSFORMATION EVENT: Realizes there’s no going back with what he knows

PJ: Victor’s chip was taken out by kidnappers.

AJ: Donna feels lost not being Victor’s “mother” any longer

Resolution

PJ: Victor changes his physical identity

AJ: Donna gets killed

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Scene Requirements

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 9: Scene Requirements

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I started expanding the outline in Final Draft with slug lines and short descriptions to start to lay the story out better.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

Act 1:

INT: LAX – DAY

The couple board the plane with excitement.

Essence:

James and Clara, (late 50s-60s) excited to go on their dream retirement vacation.

-holding hands

-having some drinks

-smiling

-saying they can’t believe it’s finally here

-telling someone on the plane it’s their dream vacation Subtext:

Hope/fear: James telling Clara he planned a couple of good surprises

EXT: VACATION DESTINATION – DAY

Seeing the sights!

Essence:

They’ve been waiting their whole lives to go here.

They finally made it!

The best day ever!

Dream come true!

Subtext: James is starting to feel off

Inciting Incident:

James shows signs of memory loss.

Essence:

James forgets where he is

Conflict:

This is starting to ruin their dream vacation

Subtext:

The edible is too blame and Clara has no idea at this point.

Hope/fear: Clara gets scared that James is no longer in charge especially since he planned this whole trip.

Act 2: Clara decides she needs to take James home.

Clara books tickets to leave the next day

Essence: Clara is convinced that if she can just get James home, she can be more calm and in control of the situation.

Conflict: James forgets who Clara is. James is not acting like himself – he seems scared.

Subtext: Clara is concerned for James well being.

Hope/fear: Clara is afraid James may have dementia

Flashback: To conversation Clara had with hairdresser on different types of dementia and how to get it.

Clara gets James to calm down and tells him to just go to sleep.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NEXT DAY

Clara wakes up and James is missing

Act 3: Clara needs to find her missing husband, James.

Essence: Clara contacts her kids to tell them what happened

Clara gets assistance to find James

Conflict: Clara is running into dead ends trying to find James.

Subtext: Clara feels she failed James by letting him leave when his mind is lost. She thinks she should have gotten him help sooner and not tried to just book a flight. She maybe didn’t take his condition as serious as she should have.

Hope/fear: Clara is scared out of her mind that her husband is missing in a foreign country and will she ever find him?

-James and Clara’s son books a flight to help his mom find his dad

-Clara’s son’s flight is cancelled

Act 4:

(FLASHBACK) INT. LAX – DAY

LAX AIRPORT BATHROOM

James is taking an edible without his wife knowing.

James exits airport bathroom to join his wife.

CLARA

Everything alright

JAMES

Of course dear

Back to bliss and anticipation of dream vacation.

(Present)

-Clara finds James

-Clara takes advantage of their travel insurance to take James to a doctor

-The doctor keeps James for observation and his safety for the time being until he can find out any information from his doctor back home.

Clara finds out that the edible James took was from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

Essence: The doctor abroad researches James’s medical history

Conflict: Dr. Ria has been finding out this this clinical trial edible caused memory loss and failed to alert James and his family even when he knew James would be traveling abroad.

Subtext: Clara is angry with James for not telling her what was going on with him before their vacation

Hope/fear: Will James regain his memory or will his cognitive abilities continue to decline?

-Clara’s son contacts a lawyer

Resolution: Clinical trial ends. Vacation did not go as expected.

-James regains memory

-Dr. Ria sued

-James says they can try a different vacation

-Clara gets cancer

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s 4 Act Transformational Structure

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 5: Four-Act Transformational Structure

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Trying to make a basic outline with the character’s personalities and how they would convincingly transform.

Concept:

Victor Saint is a young man that gets cancelled for jokingly saying something stupid. When he has no issue standing up for himself while people are trying to put him on blast, he gets kidnapped, blacks out and wakes up to an alternate reality where he is trusted with information about who aliens really are.

Main Conflict:

Victor is forced into a new reality beginning from being shown who his real mom is.

VICTOR: PROTAGONIST

Old Ways:

1. Naïve

2. Just cruising through life doing the bare minimum.

3. Gets disappointed with himself but not so much that he does anything to really change.

New Ways:

1. Has been behind the curtain educated and experienced.

2. Has direction.

3. Doesn’t take life for granted.

Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now. Will use Protagonist Journey (PJ) and Antagonist Journey (AJ)

Act 1:

Opening:

PJ:

Victor does same routine: food, meaningless job, hanging out with friends smoking, drinking & philosophizing

Chill acquaintances with rich young adults but doesn’t relate

Blacks out & wakes up early to go home

AJ:

Donna is upset not knowing where Victor was all night

Inciting Incident:

PJ:

Victor makes a joke about the dents on his hood to the mechanic

Mechanic puts Victor on blast on social media

Turning Point:

PJ:

Victor shows up to mechanic shop to talk to him about what he did

People show up trying to get involved

Black-out, kidnapped

Act 2:

New plan:

PJ:

Victor wakes up tied down not knowing where he is

Victor is forced to see alternative outcomes

Plan in action:

PJ: Victor decides he wants to know about his mom

AJ: Donna can’t find Victor

Midpoint Turning Point:

PJ: Victor finds out about his real mom

AJ: Donna was assigned to take care of Victor

Act 3:

Rethink everything:

AJ: Flashback to Donna’s assignment

PJ: Victor finds out why he’s special

New plan:

AJ: Victor finds purpose

PJ: Flashback to Donna teaching Victor alternate ways of living but with caveats

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:

PJ: Victor is just a regular guy who mistakes and not a hero

AJ: Donna and her people find information on where Victor is

Act 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:

PJ: Victor’s chip was taken out by his kidnappers

AJ: Donna feels lost not being Victor’s “mother” any longer

Resolution

PJ: Victor changes his physical identity

AJ: Donna gets killed

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Character Interviews

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 4: Character Interviews

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

More about the character background and personalities

PART 2:

VICTOR – PROTAGONIST

Tell me about yourself.

I feel like I’m at school on the first day with this question. Okay well I am 18. I live not that far from the beach in California. Uh, what else do you want to know?

Why do you think you were called to this journey? Why you?

At first, I had no idea. I asked myself the same thing. Why me? But now I know that I was being monitored my whole life because I may have had the potential to be the first “alien” born child.

You are up against your mom. Or who you thought was your mom. What is it about them that makes this journey even more difficult for you?

I mean I think I love her like a mom. She took care of me. No one else did so that’s kind of messing me up.

In order to survive or accomplish this, you are going to have to step way outside of your box. What changes do you expect to make and which of them will be the most difficult?

This is the thing. I never asked for this. It’s just like my name. Victor as in victory. Saint as in can do no wrong. Do you know how much of a mind warp that can be? And now it’s like I’m feeling this pressure to do something about what I now know about myself.

What habits or ways of thinking do you think will be the most difficult to let go of?

Look I left school not knowing what I was going to do next. I just knew I had to make money somehow so I’m working. Trust me this at least a step in becoming my own person. A number of people my age are still getting everything paid by their parents. Parents tells their kids stuff like go to college, do what interests you. Some people don’t know and to do what interests you as a job may not be all that fun because you’re doing what you thought was fun on someone else’s timeline and playing field. How can someone know who they are when they’re constantly going along with what someone else is telling them to do?

What fears, insecurities and wounds have held you back?

I don’t want to die yet. I’ve seen some shit.

What skills, background or expertise makes you well-suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

I don’t know. Can you just flip the switch on someone you trusted your whole life? I mean someone that took care of you as a mother?

What are you hiding from the other characters? What don’t you want them to know?

I have a girlfriend. When I see what happens with social media and how judgmental and offended people are, I just want to keep a private life.

What do you think of Donna?

I think that maybe initially she was just doing the job she was told to do. I have to find out more from her but that’s the thing, can I trust now what she says?

Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.

Well, I told a stupid joke to a mechanic about the dents on my car saying I ran over protestors and next thing I know the dude is crying to social media trying to cancel me. People start recognizing me as this guy that was called out from someone that can’t take a joke and when I try to talk to the dude about it, he cries in his cornflakes again. Then something happens not sure what, I black out and wake up with people I don’t remember meeting except for this one girl who I now remembering seeing recently. This is getting beyond overwhelming…

What does it do for your life if you succeed here?

I don’t know. I’m not a fortune teller. Dude, I just graduated high school not that long ago and now I’m just an important Joe?

Ask any other questions about their character profile that will help you.

Not sure at this time.

DONNA – ANTAGONIST

Tell me about yourself.

I signed an NDA so there’s only so much I can say.

Having to do with this journey, what are your strengths and weaknesses?

I’m not really sure why they picked me. Maybe because I love pets. Maybe because I took care of my mother. I guess they saw I had the motherly nurturing instinct but I swore up and down kids were too much of a burden to have. It was easier to just treat it as a job. But I do like the kid.

Why are you committed to making the Protagonist fail? Or for a relationship movie, why are you committed to making them change?

I am committed to doing my job.

What do you get out of winning this fight / succeeding in your plan / taking down your competition?

A secure job and pension.

What drives you toward your mission / agenda, even in the face of danger, ruin, or death?

Money and security.

What secrets must you keep to succeed? What other secrets do you keep out of fear / insecurity?

I can’t tell Victor that I’m not really his mother unless I’m given permission.

Compared to other people like you, what makes you special?

Not everyone gets chosen for a mission like this. Well it’s kind of like secret service but protection but to turn him in for observation if anything starts going a different direction.

What do you think of Victor?

He’s kind. That whole cancelling thing was stupid. Kids, young people, everyone makes mistakes. I don’t think he really meant any harm.

Tell me your side of this whole conflict / story.

I’m here to monitor someone who may be involved with others that are trying to sabotage our government. I do what I am instructed to do. But I’ve spent so much time with Victor that I’ve taught him some things along the way. Alternative things to the way kids live now. I didn’t have all this kind of technology growing up.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Synopsis Hooks

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 5: Using Hooks to Create Pitches

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

What I learned is that the first synopsis sounds good to me but feedback would be more helpful haha

Synopsis – First Draft

Title: MENTAL

Written by H. Vince

Genre: Drama/Thriller

Isn’t it great for a grown woman not to have a boss hit on her when they’re alone in her office with the door closed?

Sure! Unless your boss constantly complains over and over like the definition of insanity doing the same thing hoping for a new resolution. Or does he even want any solutions?

Sandy has been dealing with her boss, Pat, for years. She tried to get another job once but his carrot dangling tactics left her to stay and live in misery. He claims his depression is to blame but is that the truth?

As the staff comes and goes, the boss’s wife is even afraid to be honest with her husband and Sandy falls deeper into American Psycho like daydreaming.

Finally Sandy sees her time to run away from the office but she gets punished in the end.

10 Components of Marketability:

Tell us your current logline:

A narcissistic mentally abusive business owner creates a negatively intense closed-door relationship with his desperate office manager causing her to question her current reality.

10 Components:

A. Unique.

Usually people hear about physical men/women closed door relationships. This one is mental.

B. Great Title

MENTAL

C. True.

N/A

D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event.

Professional women, mental illness awareness, trans

E. It’s a first.

Yes. Usually men/woman closed door relationships are an office romance, affair or scandal.

F. Ultimate.

Give audience a fly on the wall, behind the curtain glimpse of a secret closed-door relationship.

G. Wide audience appeal.

Women in any professional stressed closed-door relationship will have a chance to relate.

American Psycho, one of the best thriller/horror movies about an executive is a cult classic.

Work relationships are appealing to audiences in dramatic and comedic form such as in the movies “9 to 5”, “Obsessed”, “The Devil Wears Prada”, “Office Space”, “Horrible Bosses”, “Up In The Air” or the TV series “The Office”.

H. Adapted from a popular book.

N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success:

“American Psycho (2000)” starring Christian Bale grossed $34.2 million – theaters

$8 million – budget

“Obsessed (2009)” starring Beyonce grossed $73.8 million – theaters, $21 million in DVD sales

$20 million – budget

“Up In The Air (2009)” starring George Clooney grossed $166.8 million – theaters, $22.9 million in DVD sales

$25 million – budget

“The Devil Wears Prada (2006)” starring Ann Hathaway and Meryl Streep grossed $326.7 million, $98.4 million DVD sales

$35 million – budget

J. A great role for a bankable actor.

SANDY: professional woman, manager, acting therapist, stressed

PAT: says whatever comes to mind, relentless, toxic

Tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components:

Imagine being a professional woman stuck in a constant obsessive sounding board closed-door relationship with a narcissistic curmudgeon boss. He’s dangled the carrot causing you to desperately stay and experience high overturn rate and developing delusions. Once you try to finally escape, you’re faced with worse consequences.

10 Most Interesting Things:

1. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

The villain has a monetary successful small business but claims he has severe depression. This boss promised the manager that she will be greatly rewarded if she stays until his retirement, but her delusions are making it hard to last.

2. Major hook of your opening scene?

Celebrating a staff member’s birthday shows the boss’s true colors of narcissism and judgment resulting in an uncomfortable argument where a staff member tells the boss off and quits. Turns out it was all a daydream from the Office Manager.

3. Any turning points?

Things seem to go even more downhill once the boss decided to fire an employee while she was on vacation.

4. Emotional dilemma?

The Office Manager feels stuck and doesn’t have the courage to leave until the boss calls out her weaknesses in the end.

5. Major twists?

An employee plays an April Fool’s joke on the boss requesting he use pronouns. When the boss doesn’t want to comply, the employee gets his cousin and friends to create an elaborate embarrassing protest of the boss in the parking lot for the whole office building to witness.

6. Reversals?

The boss may just be a spoiled curmudgeon and not mentally ill after all. His office manager may be the one with a mental illness.

7. Character betrayals?

The boss’s wife secretly talks to the office manager not wanting her husband to know.

8. Or any big surprises?

The office manager talks to her daughter on the phone during her lunches. Turns out she doesn’t have a daughter.

Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.

9. It could possibly be a contained movie since it takes place in one dreary location.

10. Low budget

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Character Profiles Part 2

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 3: Character Profiles Part 2

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Bringing out more information on these main characters

PART 2:

VICTOR

What draws us to this character? He’s just an average guy seems like but we find out his life was saved when he was supposed to be aborted

Traits: Mostly chill, isn’t trying to have any issues, somewhat lost, gets disappointed himself, friendly, stands up for himself

Subtext: Victor was about to be homeless

Flaw: Naïve but that’s common for his age

Values: Thinks that listening to hood never ending type rap music is a bad habit he needs to break, seems to maybe want more in life

Irony: Doesn’t seem to want to be bothered but from one slight remark, his whole world started to change

What makes this the right character for this role?

DONNA

What draws us to this character? She’s the one person that Victor should be able to trust and rely on in the whole world and she is not his actual mother

Traits: A secret liar, tries to act militant at times

Subtext: Doesn’t want Victor to discover who she really is. She has been teaching Victor skills all along that are separate from the internet/computer.

Flaw: Has developed a sense of caring for Victor

Values: Loyalty to she is working for

Irony: She told herself having a family wasn’t important and was happy to not have kids but being Victor’s mom for this long made her change her mind and she felt attachment to him.

What makes this the right character for this role? The closest person to keep watch over Victor as he grows up would have to be a parent.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Intriguing Moments

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 7: Depth – Intriguing Moments

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I did a switcharoo of Act 2 and Act 3 to make it make more sense and added the intriguing moments.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

ACT 1: VACATION AND MEMORY LOSS

POSTIVE: James and Clara start out their vacation with what seems like an incredible marriage bond, excited to finally go on the vacation they have worked their whole lives for and deserved and dreamed of. They are smiling, holding hands, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here. James tells Clara he planned a couple of good surprises and she’s in wonder what those surprises could be.

Flashback when James has hope that he can have a fun, relaxing vacation if he takes this clinical trial edible the doctor recommended.

NEGATIVE: James starts acting strange, forgetful, asks where he is, asks who Clara is. Clara is confused, scared, hit with a huge dilemma of what to do next.

Flashback when James tells his doctor about his overwhelming anxiety.

INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

James taking an edible in the bathroom before boarding the plane without Clara’s knowledge.

James becoming forgetful.

Act 2: GO HOME AND DISAPPEARANCE

INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

Clara realizes there’s something wrong with James and books a flight home.

Clara wakes up in the morning to go home and James has disappeared.

Act 3: FIND JAMES AND MEET WITH FOREIGN DOCTOR

INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

Clara calls her grown children to let them know what happened.

Clara gets help finding James.

James and Clara’s son’s flight gets cancelled.

Foreign doctor finds out James went to a doctor to treat his anxiety.

Act 4 CLIMAX AND RESOLUTION

INTRIGUING MOMENTS:

Grown child arrives to help Clara.

Foreign doctor tells Clara that James took a clinical trial medication.

Dr. Ria’s medical license is in jeopardy.

James starts gaining his memory back.

James feels guilt and failure for their vacation being ruined by the edible he decided to take.

Clara feels defeated that she now has cancer and that life isn’t always how you expect it to go.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Character Profiles Part 1

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 2: Who Are We Traveling With?

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Keeping it to the point of who the protagonist and antagonist are and how they fit in the story.

Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

Victim: The audience is taken through the life Victor currently has until he is kidnapped and forced to see the truth of his life from Day One. Victor didn’t ask for this but turns out he’s glad his life has more meaning.

Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.

Authority: Donna: Victor’s Mom. She’s been assigned to keep watch over him his whole life. She’s given Victor the impression his whole life that she’s his birth mother until Victor finds out the truth.

What other characters might be necessary?

Supporting characters: One of Victor’s close homies and his girlfriend. They give Victor peace of mind and support.

A female helping Victor that he will later find out is his sister.

A mechanic that causes Victor to be cancelled.

Minor roles:

Jeremy, a friend of Victor’s that has a party at his house.

Some randoms that point out Victor as one that got cancelled and try to get a pic of him.

Some rich kids he’s cool with

Background characters:

Fast food workers

People at the beach

People at his job

Some rich kids

Other extras

Pick your genre:

Sci-Fi

Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles:

VICTOR

Role in the story: Protagonist

Age range and Description: Around 18

Internal Journey: Goes from feeling lost to having more purpose.

External Journey: Goes from thinking his life is just average to realizing he was chosen.

Motivation: He is shown some truth about his life that makes him want to know more

Wound: Doesn’t have a dad

Mission/Agenda: Get back to the present and help

Secret: Has a girlfriend

What makes them special? He was conceived inside a mother that was altered

DONNA

Role in the story: Antagonist/Victor’s Mom, been keeping the truth from Victor his whole life

Age range and Description: Late 30s or 40s

Internal Journey: Coping with the fact that she is a liar

External Journey: Has been putting on a front, keeping a lie acting like she is someone Victor can trust into someone Victor can’t trust any longer.

Motivation: Fear of people above her

Wound: Started out she was on a job/mission but grew attached to Victor as if he were her real son since she was obligated to him and wasn’t allowed to have her own family.

Mission/Agenda: To keep watch over Victor

Secret: Became a mother of Victor since he was a baby when he was supposed to be aborted

What makes them special? Not everyday someone gets to be the mom of someone who will grow up to be important

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s 10 Most Interesting Things

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 4: The 10 Most Interesting Things

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

to highlight the best parts of the story to make it marketable to a producer.

1. What is most unique about your villain and hero?

The villain has a monetary successful small business but claims he has severe depression. This boss promised the manager that she will be greatly rewarded if she stays until his retirement, but her delusions are making it hard to last.

2. Major hook of your opening scene?

Celebrating a staff member’s birthday shows the boss’s true colors of narcissism and judgment resulting in an uncomfortable argument where a staff member tells the boss off and quits. Turns out it was all a daydream from the Office Manager.

3. Any turning points?

Things seem to go even more downhill once the boss decided to fire an employee while she was on vacation.

4. Emotional dilemma?

The Office Manager feels stuck and doesn’t have the courage to leave until the boss calls out her weaknesses in the end.

5. Major twists?

An employee plays an April Fool’s joke on the boss requesting he use pronouns. When the boss doesn’t want to comply, the employee gets his cousin and friends to create an elaborate embarrassing protest of the boss in the parking lot for the whole office building to witness.

6. Reversals?

The boss may just be a spoiled curmudgeon and not mentally ill after all. His office manager may be the one with a mental illness.

7. Character betrayals?

The boss’s wife secretly talks to the office manager not wanting her husband to know.

8. Or any big surprises?

The office manager talks to her daughter on the phone during her lunches. Turns out she doesn’t have a daughter.

Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.

9. It could possibly be a contained movie since it takes place in one dreary location.

10. Low budget

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Transformational Journey

The 30-Day Screenplay – 2023

Lesson 1: The Transformational Journey

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Breaking my main character/protagonist down to who he is and what’s to become of him.

Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?

Victor Saint is a young man that gets cancelled for jokingly saying something stupid. When he has no issue standing up for himself while people are trying to put him on blast, he gets kidnapped, blacks out and wakes up to an alternate reality where he is trusted with information about who aliens really are.

Internal Journey:

Goes from feeling lost to having more purpose.

External Journey:

Goes from thinking his life is just average to realizing he was chosen.

Victor Old Ways:

1. Naïve

2. Just cruising through life doing the bare minimum.

3. Gets disappointed with himself but not so much that he does anything to really change.

Victor New Ways:

1. Has been behind the curtain educated and experienced.

2. Has direction.

3. Doesn’t take life for granted.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Emotional Moments

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 7: Depth – Emotional Moments

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

That I need to add more soon and switch around the series of events to make the story flow and really gain that emotional rollercoaster.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

ACT 1: VACATION AND MEMORY LOSS

POSTIVE: James and Clara start out their vacation with what seems like an incredible marriage bond, excited to finally go on the vacation they have worked their whole lives for and deserved and dreamed of. They are smiling, holding hands, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here. James tells Clara he planned a couple of good surprises and she’s in wonder what those surprises could be.

Flashback when James has hope that he can have a fun, relaxing vacation if he takes this clinical trial edible the doctor recommended.

NEGATIVE: James starts acting strange, forgetful, asks where he is, asks who Clara is. Clara is confused, scared, hit with a huge dilemma of what to do next.

Flashback when James tells his doctor about his overwhelming anxiety.

Act 2: GO HOME AND DISAPPEARANCE

POSITIVE: Clara finds hope in making a goal to get her husband back to the U.S. to a familiar life.

NEGATIVE: The stress and fear are apparent over the phone when Clara calls her grown children to tell them about their dad.

When Clara wakes up in the morning and finds that James has disappeared, overwhelming emotion and tears immediately manifest. She feels helpless and frightened for James.

Act 3: FIND JAMES

POSITIVE: Clara gets help to find James and the clues of where he may gone with people who had last seen him and learning about an old familiar place in a foreign country makes her feel more at ease and hopeful.

The person that helps Clara develops an emotional admiration that Clara is willing to go to great lengths to help her husband.

NEGATIVE: Clara fears that James may be hurt or worse if he can’t identify himself or others and is roaming around lost in an unfamiliar place.

Meanwhile Dr. Ria is getting anxious himself when more results from the clinical trial start pouring in. Maybe make another patient’s family come to his office to confront him!

Act 4 Climax and Resolution

POSITIVE: Grown child finally arrives and Clara is relieved to have a very close family member in a foreign country for support.

When James starts gaining his memory back, his family is ecstatic and relieved.

NEGATIVE: When the doctor finds out that James took an edible as a clinical trial medication and it’s being reported as causing accelerated memory loss, Clara is outraged. Clara goes through the emotions of being outraged at James for not telling her what’s going on and keeping things from her and then she is outraged that this directly affected her without her knowledge.

Dr. Ria receives notice that he is being sued and his medical license may be in jeopardy. He expresses anger and fear and tells his pharmaceutical contact that it wasn’t worth the money involved.

James feels guilt and failure for their vacation being ruined by the edible he decided to take.

Clara feels defeated that she now has cancer and that life isn’t always how you expect it to go.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Producer/Manager

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 3: What Do Manager and Producers Need?

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

That this course is speaking my language. I have worked as a business professional working closely with business owners for many years. I have owned a business and worked for myself for years. I have a formal education in business so I understand that with any business, people want to make money.

How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?

I would point out that I write Thrillers which is the type of movie they usually produce. I would present the concept making sure it stands out. Then I would tell them what well-known movie or movies it could be compared to and how this type of movie would be attractive to actors. Not only would I mention similar box office successes in the subject of strained office relationships, but I would also mention that seasonal as well as up and coming actors such as Julia Garner (Ozark) who played a somewhat relative role in the 2019 movie “The Assistant” would be interested in a project like this. Bottom line I am willing to work with the producer to get a money-making movie made.

How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?

I would let the manager know that I have many concepts in the vault that are either fully written or I am willing to work on currently if he/she thinks this will be a money maker for everyone involved. I would then pitch the current concept and let them know that I am willing to work and learn how we can make this concept become a cinematic reality. I have spent time and money on studying the current writer’s market with current theater released movies, streaming movies and current writing techniques. I am professional and motivated to move the project forward which will mean I will be open to rewrites that will meet the budget and attract desired actors.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Reveals!

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 6: What Do You Reveal and When?

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I found this assignment more helpful for working through the story. It’s just making some decisions along the way of what’s to happen before or after that I need to work out.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

ACT 1: VACATION AND MEMORY LOSS

SETUP: Boarding plane, smiling, excited, holding hands, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here, tells Clara he planned a couple of good surprises.

REVEAL: A couple is experiencing the beginning of their dream retirement vacation.

SETUP: James starts acting strange, forgetful, asks where he is, asks who Clara is

REVEAL: James has what Clara thinks is dementia

SETUP: Using travel insurance to take James to a foreign doctor, doctor contacts James’s primary care doctor in the U.S.

REVEAL: James had anxiety

RIGHT HERE I FOUND A HOLE IN THE PLOT: Would the doctor recommend James stay in a facility or hospital for further testing? Would they release James to stay with Clara knowing he has severe memory loss? MAYBE NEED TO CHANGE THE STORY SO THAT JAMES DISAPPEARS BEFORE THEY SEE A DOCTOR.

REVEAL: Flashback to Dr. Ria offering new edible to patients

Turning Point 1: Flashback for James when he went to visit his doctor about his anxiety.

Act 2: GO HOME AND DISAPPEARANCE

If James was released back to Clara from the foreign country doctor:

SETUP: Clara calls home to speak to her kids

REVEAL: Books a flight home

SETUP: Clara wakes up in the morning expecting to go home with James

REVEAL: James has disappeared

If James stays in the hospital or an overnight facility:

SETUP: James & Clara’s grown child books a flight to come and help

REVEAL: Grown child’s flight is delayed or cancelled

Meanwhile…

SETUP: Dr. Ria is getting anxious himself

REVEAL: Clinical trial medicine feedback pouring in

Act 3: FIND JAMES (If James doesn’t stay in the hospital or an overnight facility)

SETUP: Clara seeks help to find James

REVEAL: The police, emergency services, Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office (FCDO) and the U.S embassy are contacted. A silver alert is put out on all iphones.

SETUP: Foreign doctor looking more into how James lived before the vacation and any meds he was taking including flashback

REVEAL: Dr. Ria suggesting James take part in a clinical trial for an edible to help his anxiety

SETUP: There was a familiar happy place James visited when he was a child that he was going to take Clara to

REVEAL: James is found at this place

(If James does stay in the hospital or an overnight facility):

SETUP: Someone helps Clara find James

REVEAL: This person develops an attachment to Clara

Act 4 Climax and Resolution

SETUP: Grown child finally arrives. Clara tries and son try to take James on a plane but he is fearful for his life not knowing where he is being taken.

REVEAL: Back to the doctor for observation and rest

SETUP: Foreign doctor looking more into James’s medical history

REVEAL: The edible James took was from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and does not have dementia.

SETUP: James starts recognizing things

REVEAL: Cognitive abilities returning.

SETUP: Dr. Ria receives notice that he is being sued and his medical license may be in jeopardy.

REVEAL: Fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be directly affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.

SETUP: James promises to go on another vacation to make it up to Clara

REVEAL: Clara diagnosed with cancer and another dream vacation shot down

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Character Action Tracks!

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 5: Character Action Tracks

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

the actions seem pretty similar to what I wrote for the character journeys.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

Beginning: Boarding Plane for Dream Retirement Vacation

CLARA PJ: Going on a dream retirement vacation with her spouse.

Action: Smiling, excited, holding hands, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here, telling someone on the plane it’s their dream vacation

JAMES PJ: Going on a dream retirement vacation with his spouse.

Action: ordering drinks, saying they can’t believe it’s finally here, telling someone on the plane it’s their dream vacation, tells Clara he planned a couple of good surprises

Inciting Incident: James shows signs of memory loss

JAMES PJ: asks where he is, asks Clara who she is

Surface Layer: James has what Clara thinks is dementia

CLARA PJ: Clara starts remembering talking to her hairdresser about how people can develop dementia

Turning Point 1: Taking James to a foreign doctor and discovery of James’s anxiety

DR RIA AJ 1: Flashback to Dr. Ria offering new edible to patients

CLARA PJ 2: Experiencing emotions including fear and flashbacks

JAMES PJ 2: Confusion and memory loss in a foreign country

Turning Point 1: Flashback for James when he went to visit his doctor about his anxiety.

Act 2: GO HOME

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Clara books a flight home

CLARA PJ 3: Call kids

DR RIA AJ 2: Clinical trial medicine feedback pouring in

JAMES PJ 3: Continuous confusion and memory loss in a foreign country – tries to find a safe place

CLARA PJ 4: Wakes up and James has disappeared.

Act 3: FIND JAMES

Turning Point 3: Clara draws courage and seeks help to find James.

CLARA PJ 5: With the help of the foreign doctor, Clara finds out James was part of some sort of clinical trial

DR RIA AJ 3: Dr. Ria suggesting James take part in a clinical trial for an edible to help his anxiety

CLARA PJ 6: Someone helps Clara find James

Act 4 Climax: Clara finds out that the edible James took what from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

JAMES PJ 3: Told to get on a plane but he is fearful for his life not knowing where he is being taken.

DR RIA AJ 4: Receives notice that he is being sued and his medical license may be in jeopardy.

Resolution: CLINICAL TRIAL ENDS: DREAM VACATION RUINED

CLARA PJ 7: Fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.

DR RIA AJ 5: Dr. Ria fights to maintain his reputation as a medical practitioner.

JAMES PJ 4: Cognitive abilities returning.

CLARA: Diagnosed with cancer

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Marketable Components

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 2: The 10 Components of Marketability

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

To find the best attributes of this movie determining whether it can sell or not.

Tell us your current logline:

A narcissistic mentally abusive business owner creates a negatively intense closed-door relationship with his desperate office manager causing her to question her current reality.

Look through the 10 Components of Marketability and pick one or two that have the most potential for selling this script.

A. Unique.

Usually people hear about physical men/women closed door relationships. This one is mental.

B. Great Title

MENTAL

C. True.

N/A

D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event.

Professional women, mental illness awareness, trans

E. It’s a first.

Yes. Usually men/woman closed door relationships are an office romance, affair or scandal.

F. Ultimate.

Give audience a fly on the wall, behind the curtain glimpse of a secret closed-door relationship.

G. Wide audience appeal.

Women in any professional stressed closed-door relationship will have a chance to relate.

American Psycho, one of the best thriller/horror movies about an executive is a cult classic.

Work relationships are appealing to audiences in dramatic and comedic form such as in the movies “9 to 5”, “Obsessed”, “The Devil Wears Prada”, “Office Space”, “Horrible Bosses”, “Up In The Air” or the TV series “The Office”.

H. Adapted from a popular book.

N/A

I. Similarity to a box-office success:

“American Psycho (2000)” starring Christian Bale grossed $34.2 million – theaters

$8 million – budget

“Obsessed (2009)” starring Beyonce grossed $73.8 million – theaters, $21 million in DVD sales

$20 million – budget

“Up In The Air (2009)” starring George Clooney grossed $166.8 million – theaters, $22.9 million in DVD sales

$25 million – budget

“The Devil Wears Prada (2006)” starring Ann Hathaway and Meryl Streep grossed $326.7 million, $98.4 million DVD sales

$35 million – budget

J. A great role for a bankable actor.

SANDY: professional woman, manager, acting therapist, stressed

PAT: says whatever comes to mind, relentless, toxic

Tell us how you might pitch the script through the two components:

Imagine being a professional woman stuck in a constant obsessive sounding board closed-door relationship with a narcissistic curmudgeon boss. He’s dangled the carrot causing you to desperately stay and experience high overturn rate and developing delusions. Once you try to finally escape, you’re faced with worse consequences.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Project and Market

Power Players – 2023

Lesson 1: How To Get 50 Script Requests!

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

How I have written the concept many different ways. It may sound good in my mind and make sense to me, but I really need the producer, the manager to tell me how they perceive what I’m conveying to them.

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

TITLE: MENTAL

CONCEPT:

What if a professional woman found herself in a closed-door non-physical mentally abusive relationship with her boss and tries to escape but cannot?

In one or two sentences, tell us what you think is most attractive about your story:

Audiences hear and see stories mostly about abusive power relationships that are physical unlike this one that is mental.

An admittingly mentally ill business owner doesn’t recognize the effects his actions take on a right-hand person.

Tell us which you will target FIRST — managers, producers, or actor’s production company — and why you picked that target:

I have already targeted production companies first in a roundabout way through a paid accessible website to no success. I picked that target because I initially thought I would get more exposure to many production companies at once. I decided to cancel my membership for them to “host” my script.

[H. Vince]

1. H. Vince

2. I agree to the terms of this release form.

3.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[H. Vince]

1. Hi everyone! I write as H. Vince.

2. How many scripts you’ve written?

Full blown? Just a few but I do have a number of unfinished ones including a couple I started for ScreenwritingU classes.

3. What I hope to get out of this class is discovering better ways to sell my scripts.

4. Maybe one unusual thing is not using my first name so strangers online are not sure if I’m male or female. I started doing that long ago for a family security issue I have. Maybe I’ll write about that someday.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s New Outline Beats!

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 4: Basic Plotting

My Vision: I am going to be a professional screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

making sure the flow makes sense. And most importantly being okay with it not being perfect to do the assignment and keep moving forward.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

Act 1: James and Clara excited to go on their dream retirement vacation.

PLOT FILL IN:

Show the couple boarding the plane with excitement.

Show the couple enjoying the plane ride

-holding hands

-having some drinks

-smiling

-saying they can’t believe it’s finally here

-telling someone on the plane it’s their dream vacation

-James telling Clara he planed a couple of good surprises

Inciting Incident: James shows signs of memory loss.

PLOT FILL IN:

-James forgets where he is

-Clara takes advantage of their travel insurance to take James to a doctor

Act 2: Clara decides she needs to take James home.

PLOT FILL IN:

-Clara books tickets to leave the next day

-James forgets who Clara is

-Clara wakes up the next day and James is missing

Act 3: Clara needs to find her missing husband, James.

PLOT FILL IN:

-Clara contacts the travel insurance doctor

-Clara contacts her kids to tell them what happened

-James and Clara’s son books a flight to help his mom find his dad

-The doctor abroad contacts James’s doctor back home

-Clara gets assistance to find James

Act 4: Clara finds out that the edible James took was from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

PLOT FILL IN:

-Clara’s son’s flight is cancelled

-Clara’s son contacts a lawyer

-Clara finds James

-James is too scared to board flight home

Resolution: Clinical trial ends. Vacation did not go as expected.

PLOT FILL IN:

-James regaining cognitive abilities

-James and Clara’s doctor sued

-James says they can try a different vacation

-Clara gets cancer

[H. Vince]

Hello! My name is H. Vince and I am ready to exchange screenplays for feedback with someone. This is the gist of my contained screenplay:

Title: HEATED

Genre: Drama/Thriller

Logline: While renting a remote desert location, two podcasters
invite on an opposite views guest. During their heated discussion, a grid
shutdown occurs causing them all to be stuck with minimal supplies. After
failed attempts to leave and no communication, they create a pirate radio
station to call for help.

My e-mail address is penpalmode@gmail.com.

Thank you!😃

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Beat Sheet – Draft 1

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 3: Beat Sheet Draft 1

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Learning how the story entangles and is easily outlined to prepare for further detail and dialogue.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

Beginning: Boarding Plane for Dream Retirement Vacation

CLARA PJ 1: Going on a dream retirement vacation with her spouse.

JAMES PJ 1: Going on a dream retirement vacation with his spouse.

Inciting Incident: James shows signs of memory loss

Surface Layer: James has what Clara thinks is dementia

Turning Point 1: Taking James to a foreign doctor and discovery of James’s anxiety

DR RIA AJ 1: Flashback to Dr. Ria offering new edible to patients

CLARA PJ 2: Experiencing emotions including fear and flashbacks

JAMES PJ 2: Confusion and memory loss in a foreign country

Turning Point 1: Flashback for James when he went to visit his doctor about his anxiety.

Act 2: GO HOME

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Clara books a flight home

CLARA PJ 3: Call kids

DR RIA AJ 2: Clinical trial medicine feedback pouring in

JAMES PJ 3: Continuous confusion and memory loss in a foreign country – tries to find a safe place

CLARA PJ 4: Wakes up and James has disappeared

Act 3: FIND JAMES

Turning Point 3: Clara draws courage and seeks help to find James.

CLARA PJ 5: With the help of the foreign doctor, Clara finds out James was part of some sort of clinical trial

DR RIA AJ 3: Dr. Ria suggesting James take part in a clinical trial for an edible to help his anxiety

CLARA PJ 6: Someone helps Clara find James

Act 4 Climax: Clara finds out that the edible James took what from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

JAMES PJ 3: Told to get on a plane but he is fearful for his life not knowing where he is being taken.

DR RIA AJ 4: Receives notice that he is being sued and his medical license may be in jeopardy.

Resolution: CLINICAL TRIAL ENDS: DREAM VACATION RUINED

CLARA PJ 7: Fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.

DR RIA AJ 5: Dr. Ria fights to maintain his reputation as a medical practitioner.

JAMES PJ 4: Cognitive abilities returning

CLARA: Diagnosed with cancer

[H. Vince]

Subject: H. Vince’s Outline

Contained – 2023

Lesson 11: Creating Your Outline: Part 2

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I’m gonna go for it and turn it now. Just keeping it flowing with a directional outline to guide me when I start to fill it all in. I definitely have some problems to solve that I listed at the end. When I answer some of these it could take the script on different paths.

High Concept/Hook: What if while conducting a live podcast in a remote desert location, the grid shuts down and a group of opposites have to work together to survive?

Title: HEATED <div>

Genre: Drama/Thriller

Logline: While renting a remote desert location, two podcasters
invite on an opposite views guest. During their heated discussion, a grid
shutdown occurs causing them all to be stuck with minimal supplies. After
failed attempts to leave and no communication, they create a pirate radio
station to call for help.

Act 1:

EXT. HOME/STUDIO IN REMOTE DESERT – DAY

OPENING: PAUL PULLS UP TO THE HOUSE AND PARKS HIS CAR

PAUL LOOKS TO SEE NOTHING IN SITE EXCEPT THIS HOME/STUDIO (*solve below)

INT. HOME/STUDIO IN REMOTE DESERT – DAY

LAYER: PRODUCER, MALE 30s, OPENS THE DOOR FOR PAUL INTO THIS SEEMINGLY AMAZING PROPERTY IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

PAUL MEETS TRU AND JENN IN PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME

LAYER/REVEAL:

· Two women have a podcast called “Third Wheel” where they invite on a guest for each episode.

· Property was rented to attend a music festival and the podcasters decide to keep renting the property for a couple of days to do their podcast with Paul there.

· (*solve age of podcasters below)

· PODCASTER 1 TRU is the Alpha female of the 2-person podcast. Thinks she has all the facts (hence her name is Tru). Trusting that nothing bad is really going to happen to her and if it does someone will come to her rescue. Not that interested in unity. Tough, thinks she has all the answers. Tru decides to bring on someone on to their Third Wheel podcast with entirely different views than theirs thinking they can probably sway him their way in the name of “unity”.

· PODCASTER 2 JENN walks on eggshells a bit with her co-host not wanting to rock the boat so she goes along agreeing with Tru.

· PODCAST GUEST PAUL doesn’t see much use in reaching across the aisle and trying to understand opposite views. Decides to take on a bet and go out of his comfort zone and attend a podcast in a remote desert location with hosts that have opposite views to increase his own exposure and ratings.

INCITING INCIDENT:

· Conflict between all podcasters (*solve below)

· Conversation gets heated

· Lines are crossed/pushed

· Jenn decides she is going to stand up to her cohost and have a serious discussion about her place on the podcast and if they should move forward together

· Jenn tells Tru she has been working on a side project.

· Tru is stubborn, doesn’t want to listen to reason

TURNING POINT:

· Grid Shutdown

· Podcast live shuts off along with all electrical devices.

· AirBnB/VRBO home is not completely equipped for such an emergency.

· Hope that this is a temporary power outage

· They decide to drive away for help

· Realization there is a system shut down on cars

· Fear of the unknown. What is going on? Is it just the house they’re in?

· Phones don’t work

· A/C turned off, extreme heat outside

Act 2:

NEW PLAN:

Wait it out for someone to arrive </div>

Hoping cleaning lady or homeowner will try to get in touch

They try to reassure each other they are in the year 2023 so there
is no way that someone won’t come to their rescue or discover they’re gone

They start doubting someone is coming to their rescue

Forced to deal with each other.

<div>

PLAN IN ACTION:

· Inventory of supplies proves a limited amount

· Found a swamp cooler

· Paul has some camping skills

· Tru fears running out of meds

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT:

· No one arrives, producer and podcaster leave for help

· Tru and Paul are left alone and do not like each other

· Paul fears he will fall off the wagon

· Tru tries to come on to Paul, Paul says he is gay so she will leave him alone

Act 3:

RETHINK EVERYTHING:

· Producer comes back hurt and needs medical attention (*solve below)

· They feel defeated by the outside elements and fear no one is coming to save them

· Home has old books with a survival manual with basic medical information

· Jenn and the producer’s relationship is discovered, Tru feels betrayed

· Jenn reveals she is pregnant

Paul starts stealing Jenn’s meds

A monsoon happens with a leak in the roof

NEW PLAN:

· Producer has skills to create a radio signal so they can call for help

· They call their show a Pirate Podcast even though it is created without internet. It’s more of a call for help pirate radio show for now and will later make it available for download if it’s a success.

· Paul looks for supplies in a locked area/closet and discovers something else (*solve below)

TURNING POINT/HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT:

· Tru has to make a decision whether or not she will work with Paul for survival

· Revealed that Tru is scared and wants to be cared for

· Paul has to decide whether he should care about these women enough to help them out and work together. Admits he is there because of a bet.

· Someone arrives by foot to the rescue – the group is not sure they can trust this person

· Didn’t take into account giving too much information on the pirate radio station could put them in danger

· Paul goes up on roof to try to patch the leak

Act 4:

FINAL PLAN:

· Survival Team Effort

· They are able to contain the threatening newcomer

· They think of a way to get a coded message with their pirate podcast to someone that could help

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:

Low supplies, extreme heat </div>

Producer needs medical attention

Pregnant Jenn needs medical attention

<div>

Fear that not the right people are listening in on their pirate
podcast

Running out of time and supplies

RESOLUTION:

· Help Arrives (*solve below)

· Tru is humbled and changed by the experience. Her perspective is taking a turn.

· Jenn is able to “stand on her own two feet”

· Paul believes that people can be capable of change

· Paul reveals he is not gay

· Maybe only a partial happy ending? (*solve below)

Solve these:

How old should I make these people?

· People of all ages have podcasts now. It could be 20-30-40s.

· Or make it with an age gap or May/December relationship or something that develops later out of desperate companionship

· Although maybe make Jenn a bit younger than Tru to justify her not having much of her own opinion outside of what Tru says.

· Have to make Jenn of child bearing age

Possible type of rented home/studio in remote desert:

· Mirrored house/studio that may be an issue for birds

· 3D Printed house/studio

· Another unique impressive piece of architecture built in the remote desert that the podcasters rented out

Possible conflict topics:

· Discussion about AI and the human condition

o A self-driving vehicle may do the non-emotional mechanical job but what about caring for the passengers? Say as in a bus? Even more specific a school bus where students need supervision?

· Slave trade

· Tru’s naïve trust that if anything bad happens, someone will come to save her

· Conflict that Tru thinks she is more valuable as a single woman than Paul is as a single man

· Having kids

· Whether a man is stronger physically than a woman and what jobs men should do

Possible injuries that the producer incurs:

· Snake bite

· Scorpion sting

· Or attacked by a wild animal? Bobcat or mountain lion? (this could be more problematic in a COVID guideline situation with trainers, etc.)

What is possibly found in the locked closet/area:

· Switch for solar power

· Secret tunnel

· Artillery

· The housekeeper

· Shrine

· Newspaper clippings of some crime

· Freaky stuff

Who is the help that arrives?

· Friend of one of the podcasters?

· Medical professionals

· Police

· Possible vigilantes – a war has begun in the country

The housekeeper

Help arrives when?

· Weeks

· Months

Possible ending:

· Producer/the father of Jenn’s baby dies from injury infection before they are rescued

· Jenn and her unborn child are malnutritioned

· Are they actually rescued or more people show up to camp out?

</div>

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Deeper Layers

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 2: The Deeper Layer

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

***The assignment says to follow the Iron Man example for the structure except that this assignment is missing the Iron Man example. It just has the Sixth Sense example.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

Surface Layer: James has what Clara thinks is dementia

Deeper Layer: James has some kind of memory loss/amnesia

Major Reveal: James took part in a clinical trial for edibles that he thought would help his anxiety and help him have a relaxed and enjoyable vacation.

Influences Surface Story: Dr. Ria knows that the edibles have been known to cause memory loss but doesn’t tell James.

Hints: James is acting loopy once he boards the plane, starts acting forgetful and then disappears.

Changes Reality: Clara has to change her expectations of going on a dream retirement vacation to being a sole caretaker for her husband and trying to get him back to the U.S.

**Toying with the idea to give Clara cancer at the end. Also possibly adding a young man character to help Clara find James and the young man takes a liking to Clara.

[H. Vince]

Subject: H. Vince’s 4 Act Structure

Contained – 2023

Lesson 10: Creating Your Outline: Part 1

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

As I’m putting the puzzle pieces together, some other details become clear..

High Concept/Hook: What if while conducting a live podcast in a remote desert location, the grid shuts down and a group of opposites have to work together to survive?

1. Tell us the following:

Title: HEATED <div>

Genre: Drama/Thriller

Logline: While renting a remote desert location, two podcasters
invite on an opposite views guest. During their heated discussion, a grid
shutdown occurs causing them all to be stuck with minimal supplies. After
failed attempts to leave and no communication, they create a pirate radio
station to call for help.

Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:

EXT. HOME/STUDIO IN REMOTE DESERT – DAY

OPENING: PAUL PULLS UP TO THE HOUSE AND PARKS HIS CAR

PAUL LOOKS TO SEE NOTHING IN SITE EXCEPT THIS LOCATION

INT. HOME/STUDIO IN REMOTE DESERT – DAY

LAYER: PRODUCER OPENS THE DOOR FOR PAUL INTO THIS SEEMINGLY AMAZING PROPERTY IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

LAYER/REVEAL:

· Property was rented to attend a music festival and the podcasters decide to keep renting the property for a couple of days to do their podcast with Paul there.

· Two women have a podcast called “Third Wheel” where they invite on a guest for each episode.

· PODCASTER 1 TRU is the Alpha female of the 2-person podcast. Thinks she has all the facts (hence her name is Tru). Trusting that nothing bad is really going to happen to her and if it does someone will come to her rescue. Not that interested in unity. Tough, thinks she has all the answers. Scared, wants to be cared for. Tru decides to bring on someone on to their Third Wheel podcast with entirely different views than theirs thinking they can probably sway him their way.

PODCASTER 2 JENN walks on eggshells a bit with her co-host not
wanting to rock the boat so she goes along agreeing with Tru

· PODCAST GUEST PAUL doesn’t see much use in reaching across the aisle and trying to understand opposite views. Decides to take on a bet and go out of his comfort zone and attend a podcast in a remote desert location with hosts that have opposite views to increase his own exposure and ratings.

INCITING INCIDENT:

Conflict between all podcasters

· Conversation gets heated

Lines are crossed/pushed

· Jenn decides she is going to stand up to her cohost and have a serious discussion about her place on the podcast and if they should move forward together

HOPE: Jenn stands up for herself, is her own woman. Jenn tells Tru
she has been working on a side project. </div><div>

FEAR: Tru is stubborn, doesn’t want to listen to reason

TURNING POINT:

· Grid Shutdown

· Podcast live shuts off along with all electrical devices. AirBnB/VRBO home is not completely equipped for such an emergency.

· HOPE: Temporary power outage

· HOPE: Drive away for help

· THREAT: System shut down on cars

· FEAR: Unknown. What is going on? Is it just the house they’re in?

· THREAT: Phones don’t work

· DANGER: A/C turned off, extreme heat outside

Act 2:

NEW PLAN:

Wait it out for someone to arrive </div><div>

HOPE: Cleaning lady or homeowner will try to get in touch

FEAR: No one is coming to their rescue

CONSEQUENCE: Forced to deal with each other

PLAN IN ACTION:

· Inventory of supplies

· HOPE: Found a swamp cooler

· HOPE: They have supplies to last until the power comes on or someone arrives

· HOPE: Paul has some camping skills

· FEAR: They may run out of supplies

· FEAR: Tru fears running out of meds

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT:

· No one arrives, producer and podcaster leave for help

· HOPE: Help and/or supplies will be found

· THREAT: Tru and Paul are left alone and do not like each other

· FEAR: Paul will fall off the wagon

· THREAT: Tru tries to Metoo Paul, Paul says he is gay so she will leave him alone

Act 3:

RETHINK EVERYTHING:

· Producer comes back hurt

· FEAR: Producer needs medical attention

a. Maybe Snake bite

b. Maybe Scorpion bite

· FEAR: They can’t leave and no one is coming to save them

· HOPE: Home has old books with a survival manual with basic medical information

· Jenn and the producer’s relationship is discovered, Tru feels betrayed.

NEW PLAN:

· HOPE: Producer has skills to create a radio signal so they can call for help

· They call their show a Pirate Podcast even though it is created without internet. It’s more of a call for help pirate radio show for now and will later make it available for download if it‘s a success.

TURNING POINT/HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT:

· Tru has to make a decision whether or not she will work with Paul for survival

· Has to decide whether he should care about these women enough to help them out and work together. Admits he is there because of a bet.

· Someone undesirable comes to the rescue by foot

· THREAT: Didn’t take into account giving too much information could put them in danger

· Monsoon/damage to roof

Act 4:

FINAL PLAN:

· Survival Team Effort

· HOPE: They are able to contain the threatening newcomer

· FEAR: They think of a way to get a coded message with their pirate podcast to someone that could help

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:

Low supplies, extreme heat
FEAR: Fear that not the right people are listening in on their
pirate podcast
FEAR: Running out of time and supplies

RESOLUTION:

· Help Arrives

· Weeks or Months later?

· Tru is humbled and changed by the experience. Her perspective is taking a turn.

· Jenn is able to “stand on her own two feet”

· Paul believes that people can be capable of change

· Maybe only a partial happy ending? Producer develops an infection and doesn’t make it

</div>

[H. Vince]

H. Vince’s Character Structure

WIM Module 4 – 2023

Lesson 1: Character Journey Structure

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Breaking down each character’s structure to help with the outline and flow of the movie.

TITLE: DREAM VACATION

GENRE: DRAMA/THRILLER

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE: DRAMATIC TRIANGLE

PROTAGONIST: CLARA

Beginning: Clara boards a plane joyously with her husband starting their dream retirement vacation. Clara is not too outspoken and relies on her husband trusting all the plans he made for the trip.

Inciting Incident: Clara realizes her husband is suffering from memory loss and fear sets in thinking he is on dementia decline.

Turning Point 1: Clara starts researching and realizes her husband had anxiety all along brought on by his job and his boss and James had told their family doctor about it. Clara has to go through an emotional and flashback journey to decide to help her husband even though he kept this from her.

Act 2:

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Clara decides to book a flight home. She calls home telling their kids what has happened but says she will bring him home tomorrow. Clara wakes up and James has disappeared.

Act 3:

Turning Point 3: Clara draws courage and seeks help to find James.

Act 4 Climax: Clara finds out that the edible James took what from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial. Clara tries to retain an attorney to sue their doctor and the clinical trial practitioners for putting her and her husband in this position.

Resolution: Clara fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.

PROTAGONIST: JAMES

Beginning: James boards a plane joyously with his wife starting their dream retirement vacation. James seems a little loopy after taking an edible.

Inciting Incident: Perception and memory starts getting hazy for James and he develops amnesia.

Turning Point 1: Flashback for James when he went to visit his doctor about his anxiety.

Act 2:

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: James doesn’t know who this woman is that is telling him what to do. He needs to get out there and go somewhere anywhere – somewhere more comfortable.

Act 3:

Turning Point 3: Flashback to James agreeing to a new edible his doctor told him about to help with his anxiety and to make his vacation more enjoyable. Meanwhile this kind of familiar woman (Clara) finds him after he is lost.

Act 4 Climax: James is told to get on a plane but he is fearful for his life not knowing where he is being taken.

Resolution: James ultimately gains full cognitive abilities when the clinical trial ends and tells Clara everything that took place before their vacation. He feels horrible for ruining the vacation.

ANTAGONIST: DR. RIA

Beginning: Dr. Ria is convinced to offer this new edible to his patients.

Inciting Incident: Dr. Ria realizes the edible has been known to cause extreme memory loss and doesn’t inform his patients.

Turning Point 1: Flashback to when Dr. Ria met with James about his anxiety.

Act 2:

Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Dr. Ria is starting to receive feedback from other patient’s families about the clinical trial edible.

Act 3:

Turning Point 3: Clara and an oversees doctor contact Dr. Ria about any medication James was prescribed before the vacation. Flashback to when Dr. Ria suggested James try this edible on a trial basis.

Act 4 Climax: Dr. Ria receives notice that he is being sued and his medical license may be in jeopardy.

Resolution: Dr. Ria fights to maintain his reputation as a medical practitioner.

[H. Vince]

Subject: H. Vince’s Budget

Contained – 2023

Lesson 9: Keeping It Low Budget

What I learned from doing this assignment is…what could be taken out and/or added to increase or decrease the budget

Concept: While accepting an invitation to go on
an opposite views podcast in a remote desert location, the grid shuts down
and the group must create a pirate podcast to seek help. <div>

Main Conflict: Grid Shutdown

1. Run through this list and tell us how many ways you might be able to decrease the budget for your project if that was required.

MAIN VARIABLES

Number of Locations: One location <div>

Expensive locations: This could depend on renting out an already
built remote desert location or building one just for the movie. A cheaper
city.

Number of characters: maybe take out the undesirable person that
shows up

Number of pages: keep it 90 pages

SECONDARY VARIABLES

Rights to music, brands, books, etc. use not as well-known
musicians, books etc. </div><div>

Explosions and Firearm: use a slingshot haha

Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society: limit
to one or two desert wildlife, and/or this could mean the type of injury
that takes place say snake bite vs. scorpion bite/sting or just film one
randomly in the desert without showing the actual biting taking place
without having to have an actual snake or scorpion brought in to work with
the actor(s)
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados- just keep it to earlier on
later in the day mostly to avoid heat stroke, but will need sun beating
down shots

Night scenes: stars in the skies are common for the desert and
beautiful!

Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots, these can be built as models
instead of using the real thing if need be

Extensive Make-up: work up a sweat and get dirty with desert dust,
grungy hair from not being able to use electric styling tools

Archival Footage: desert remote footage should be easy, maybe make
sure there are some Joshua Trees, dust devils and tumbleweeds

2. Then go through the list and tell us what you might add if your budget was quadrupled.

MAIN VARIABLES

Number of Locations: one already built remote location, flash back
locations </div><div>

Expensive locations: This opens up to more choice of city locations
to use

Special effects: more dramatic sparking of grid shutdown, a fuse is
blown

Number of pages: increase it to 120 pages

Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes: Paul goes up on roof to try
and cover it from the monsoon damage

Special sets: a remote location built for the movie or add-ons to existing structure

SECONDARY VARIABLES

Rights to music, brands, books, etc.: more well-known music &
book brands could be shown plus some brands they had for food items </div>

Explosions and Firearm: Firearms and ammo could be discovered hidden
in the home
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society: could
bring a few different reptile/desert life handlers for snakes/scorpions/lizards/tortoise/bat,
bird wrangler for vultures, another for coyotes or a bobcat or skunk

Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados. Could incorporate more elements
than just the dry heat such as wind and rain/monsoons

Night scenes: have a high power telescope

Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots, use drones for area shots
showing how remote it is, maybe some helicopter help at the end?

Green screen work: Use this for help with snake/scorpion bite/sting
maybe. Maybe use to avoid some of the outside camera work to keep the
desirable weather in order to film a scene
Extensive Make-up: use unnatural make-up to create fantastic
original looks that later turn into natural weathered looks

Archival Footage: use for flashbacks of the desert location and for
the characters in past experiences

Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or
Insurance. Monsoon could create roof damage which creates a hole or
serious leak

</div>

[H. Vince]

Subject: H. Vince Writes Great Hope/Fear!

Contained – 2023

Lesson 8: Infinite Possibilities

What I learned from doing this assignment is…a little more detail and insight as to what will happen..

Concept: What if while accepting an invitation
to go on an opposite views podcast in a remote desert location, the grid
shuts down? <div>

Main Conflict: Grid Shutdown

Using the list of Infinite Possibilities above, brainstorm 5 or more Hope/Fear moments that can occur in each Act. Sequence those Hope/Fear moments to fit the emotional journey you want your audience to have.

Act 1:

Opening: Podcast guest arrives to a rented out remote desert location </div><div>

HOPE: Unity among different thinkers

FEAR: Jenn
just goes along with Tru, letting Tru think all her points are valid

THREAT: Triggering questions/topics/statements

Inciting Incident: Conflict between all podcasters

HOPE: Jenn
stands up for herself, is her own woman. Jenn tells Tru she has been
working on a side project.

FEAR: Tru
is stubborn, doesn’t want to listen to reason

Turning Point: Grid Shutdown

HOPE: Temporary power outage

HOPE: Drive away for help

THREAT: System shut down on cars

FEAR: Unknown. What is going on? Is it just the house
they’re in?

THREAT: Phones don’t work

DANGER: A/C turned off, extreme heat outside

Act 2:

New plan: Wait it out for someone to arrive </div><div>

HOPE: Cleaning lady or homeowner will try to get in
touch

FEAR: No one is coming to their rescue

CONSEQUENCE: Forced to deal with each other

Plan in action: Inventory of supplies

HOPE: Found a swamp cooler

HOPE: They have supplies to last until the power comes
on or someone arrives

HOPE: Paul has some camping skills

FEAR: They may run out of supplies

FEAR: Tru fears running out of meds

Midpoint Turning Point: No one arrives, producer and podcaster leave
for help

HOPE: Help and/or supplies will be found

THREAT: Tru and Paul are left alone and do not like
each other

FEAR: Paul will fall off the wagon

THREAT: Tru tries to Metoo Paul, Paul says he is gay
so she will leave him alone

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Producer comes back hurt </div><div>

FEAR: Producer needs medical attention

§ Maybe Snake bite

§ Maybe Scorpion bite

FEAR: They can’t leave and no one is coming to save
them </div><div>

HOPE: Home has old books with a survival manual with
basic medical information

New plan: Pirate Podcast without internet

HOPE: Producer has skills to create a radio signal so
they can call for help

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Someone undesirable comes
to the rescue by foot

THREAT: Didn’t take into account giving too much information
could put them in danger

Act 4:

Final plan: Survival Team Effort </div>

HOPE: They are able to contain the threatening newcomer

FEAR: They think of a way to get a coded message to
someone that could help

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Low supplies, extreme
heat

FEAR: Fear that not the right people are listening in
on their pirate podcast

FEAR: Running out of time and supplies

Resolution: Help arrives maybe Months later??

[H. Vince]

Subject: H. Vince’s 4 Act Structure

Contained – 2023

Lesson 7: Structure for Containment

What I learned from doing this assignment is…a little more of what is going to happen.

1. Tell us the following:

Concept: What if while accepting an
invitation to go on an opposite views podcast in a remote desert location,
the grid shuts down? <div>

Main Conflict: Grid Shutdown

2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.

Act 1:

Opening: Podcast guest arrives to a rented out remote desert
location </div><div>

Inciting Incident: Conflict between all podcasters

Turning Point: Grid Shutdown

Act 2:

New plan: Wait it out for someone to arrive </div><div>

Plan in action: Inventory of supplies

Midpoint Turning Point: No one arrives, producer and podcaster leave
for help

Act 3:

Rethink everything: Producer comes back hurt </div><div>

New plan: Pirate Podcast without internet

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Someone undesirable comes
to the rescue

Act 4:

Final plan: Survival Team Effort </div>

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Low supplies, extreme
heat

Resolution: Help arrives

[H. Vince]

Subject: H. Vince Delivering Multiple Layers!

Contained – 2023

Lesson 6: Layers That Fascinate Us

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

These characters are either assholes or weak on the surface haha. Are those mostly the people that get stuck in these situations??

Tell us about the layers you’ve chosen. Use this format with each of them:

PLOT LAYERS

Surface Layer: Podcast with opposite views

Beneath That: Head podcaster and guest both have selfish motives

How Revealed: Grid shutdown forces them to stay, truths come out

CHARACTER LAYERS

PODCASTER 1: TRU

Surface Layer: Tough, thinks she has all the answers

Beneath That: Not that interested in unity

Beneath That: Scared, wants to be cared for

How Revealed: The Grid Shutdown proves she is ill-prepared for such
a situation causing her to breakdown

PODCASTER 2: JENN

Surface Layer: Part of a podcasting duo but with less of her own input

Beneath That: Having a relationship with the producer

Beneath That: Working on her own podcast

How Revealed: The live podcast and Tru’s tone towards her causes Jenn
to let loose

PODCASTER GUEST: PAUL

Surface Layer: Podcast guest to show people with opposite views can reach
out across the aisle and respect each other

Beneath That: Thought it was useless to try and unify

How Revealed: He took a bet to go out there

LOCATION LAYERS

Surface Layer: Remote Home/Studio in the Desert

Beneath That: Chosen by Tru to stay at for a festival that ended before Paul arrived

Beneath That: Wanted to stay another day as a getaway

Beneath That: Unequipped to survive after a few days

How Revealed: Grid shutdown and no housekeeper arriving and no
AirBnB/VrBO owner contact and lack of supplies

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 8: Purpose Driven Supporting Characters

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

That this is a point where things are getting questionable. Is it possible that this story may no longer be a Dramatic Triangle like I thought it was? Maybe it was a Buddy Movie all along and I had to discover it and the doctor was a supporting character? Since the script is not finished, are we able to change things at this point? I thought about this and realized Dr. Ria must be the antagonist because he set James up on this edible that caused his memory loss. It was antagonistic behavior causing the whole reason why James lost his memory and caused Clara to be in a very difficult situation. I am also struggling with giving Clara a new male friend in the country that helps her but he falls for her while he’s helping Clara. I’m also toying with the idea of Clara blaming James for withholding the truth and maybe she wanted to go somewhere else on their dream vacation??

Tell us your supporting and background characters.

Supporting Characters: Doctor in a foreign land, a friend of Clara’s,
a younger sibling of Clara’s, James & Clara’s children, Clara’s hairdresser,
James’s boss at work <div>

Background Characters: People at airport, people on flight, people
at a restaurant, people at James’s work, other background scene people

Support 1: If the story became a buddy movie rather than a Dramatic Triangle..

Name: Dr. Ria </div>

Role: Family Doctor

<div>

Main purpose: Suggests James take part in a clinical trial for an
edible to help him with his anxiety

Value: Was not forthcoming about the results of memory loss and put
James and Clara in this situation without their consent

Support 2:

Name: Dr. (Unknown) </div>

Role: Doctor in a foreign
country

<div>

Main purpose: to evaluate James and what has happened to him

Value: Gives Clara more insight into what has happened to James,
shows the need for travel health insurance

Support 3:

Name: Unknown – not sure if this should be male or female at this
time </div><div>

Role: a new friend to Clara

Main purpose: To help her find James in a foreign country

Value: Someone Clara comes across on her journey. If it’s a woman friend
then she could be an empathetic friend that saw Clara struggling at the
hotel when she goes to ask if anyone has seen James. If it’s a male friend,
maybe he takes a liking to Clara and she later rejects him because she’s
married.

Support 4:

Name: Josie (child) </div><div>

Role: Clara’s younger sister

Main purpose: to show a time when Clara had to be a leader and take
of her sister

Value: Being a leader and helping her sister on her own showed that
there was a time when she would rise on her own even when her sister was not
being so friendly to her

Support 5:

Name: Josie (adult) </div><div>

Role: Clara’s younger sister

Main purpose: is someone Clara calls when she doesn’t know what to do

Value: Shows the support system Clara has

Support 6:

Name: Rocky (adult) </div><div>

Role: James and
Clara’s son

Main purpose: tells
his mom he is taking a flight to help her

Value: shows
that James & Clara have a support system

Support 7:

Name: Rocky (child) </div><div>

Role: James and Clara’s son

Main purpose: to show a time when Clara had to be a leader and take
of her son when James wasn’t there

Value: Being a leader and a mother without James around to help

Support 8:

Name: Sam (child) </div><div>

Role: James and Clara’s son

Main purpose: to show a time when Clara had to be a leader and take
of her son when James wasn’t there

Value: Being a leader and a mother without James around to help

Support 9:

Name: Lisa </div><div>

Role: Clara’s hairdresser

Main purpose: to show a time when Clara was discussing different
ways to develop dementia
Value: Reminds Clara about the research she did, reminds her how she
had no clue James would develop it

Support 10:

Name: Unknown </div>

Role: James’s boss

Main purpose: to show a stressful boss and work environment

Value: This gives a main reason for his anxiety

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 7: Character Profiles Part 2

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Putting separate components from prior lessons together and adding more information to start forming the characters. I am enjoying learning this organized process.

PROTAGONIST: CLARA

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: Clara goes from being too comfortable, too assuming that life is going to turn out a certain way to one that shows her amazing true colors in a crisis involving someone she really loves.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance for a woman to shine and show range. She will carry the movie showing her inner strength and be an example of what other women could do in this type of situation.

Brainstorm character profile for CLARA:

1. Role in the Story: Wife, caretaker, hero, savior

2. Age range and Description: 50s-60s, female

3. Core Traits: Faithful but comfortable and is thrown into a position unexpectedly testing her faith, her strength, her ability to be the leader.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: she wants to find out what happened to her husband and bring him home safely.

5. Wound: Had to care for younger sibling(s) when she was young herself so enjoys the life of someone taking care of her.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: She pulls great strength inside to care for and help her husband return home. A humble woman, wife, mother just wanting to experience a dream retirement vacation with her husband. She is hit with the unexpected and must let go of her expectations of how her plans were supposed to go.

7. Character Subtext: She is naïve not knowing what’s really going on with James before he takes part in the clinical trial.

8. Character Intrigue: Clara has anxiety too if she becomes stressed, not as bad as James but it’s getting worse given the circumstances.

9. Flaw: She gets hung up on her emotions, especially when she found out James was not forthcoming about his issues. Monotone citizen who is scared of change.

10. Values: Hard worker, loyal, faithful

11. Character Dilemma: She must find the confidence to navigate in a foreign land when she didn’t plan the trip and her husband is hard to manage. Comfort vs. survival

PROTAGONIST: JAMES

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: James goes from caretaker, anxiety doctor trusting but not wife trusting apparently to not remembering who his wife is.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance to bring awareness to dementia and all the different ways a person can develop it. This could be the “Rain Man” of dementia movies/stories.

Brainstorm character profile for JAMES:

1. Role in the Story: Husband, provider, suffering memory loss

2. Age range and Description: 50s-60s, male

3. Core Traits: Anxiety ridden but somehow hides it. Loving towards his family and doesn’t want to worry them. Doesn’t tell his wife that he is part of a clinical trial. Trusts that his doctor cares about his well-being and trusts his judgement, admitting he’s not a doctor and wouldn’t know what to do.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: He wants to break free of his anxiety. He wants to plan and provide his wife with a dream vacation they have been waiting their whole life for.

5. Wound: The stresses of life and work caught up to him. He never wanted to develop dementia like his father did.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Planned out a wonderful dreamlike retirement vacation for he and his wife to enjoy. He takes on the stress and anxiety not wanting to put that on his family. Develops dementia, becomes helpless and lost and can’t care for himself.

7. Character Subtext: unknowingly to his wife, takes part in a clinical trial edible to ease his anxiety. Makes it seem like it’s no big deal the edible he’s taking. Just something to chill him out for the vacation

8. Character Intrigue: goes from being a normal man with anxiety to fun and loopy to lost and not knowing what’s going on in a foreign country

9. Flaw: should have told his wife what was going on and not put her in a stressful surprise situation. He ended up transferring his anxiety to her without her knowing!

10. Values: loving, faithful to wife, hard worker

11. Character Dilemma: trying to fix his anxiety to feel better on the dream retirement vacation with his wife, ends up suffering memory loss

ANTAGONIST: DR. RIA

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: Dr. Ria goes from a trusted family doctor to having a hidden agenda of prescribing something that he will make money on.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance to be the good and bad guy and show that doctors don’t always have the answers and people should hold them accountable when they have alternative intentions.

Brainstorm character profile for DR. RIA:

1. Role in the Story: Family doctor

2. Age range and Description: Possible 40s-60s, looks legit.

3. Core Traits: Seems professional, caring and trusting to his patients but is an underlying deceiver. Puts his hunger for money above the patient’s well-being.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: initially intended to help patients but money took first priority.

5. Wound: Scared to reveal whole truths because he was inaccurately accused of malpractice in the past and doesn’t want to reveal all the results of the past clinical trial to James because it could hinder his opportunity to make money in the clinical trial.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Is a doctor that is in the business of helping people feel better. Has a family of his own that he needs to care for, so he falls for a desperate way to make side money not thinking of the ultimate harm. Must bow down to a greater entity than he which is the pharmaceutical company. Falsely accused of malpractice in the past which almost cost him his license.

7. Character Subtext: Suggest to James to take part in a clinical trial for an edible but is not exactly forthcoming about the memory loss it has known to cause

8. Character Intrigue: fascinated by the pharmaceutical industry and their power

9. Flaw: Money chaser

10. Values: knowledgeable

11. Character Dilemma: has to decide whether to inform James’s wife about the clinical trial and when it will end. Desperate vs. Honorable

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

Contained – 2023

Lesson 5: The Character Journey

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I am just developing these characters and getting to know them so this is some bare bones of what’s to take place.

For each of your main characters, create a 3-Act Structure of their journey

PODCASTER 1 TRU

Beginning: Alpha female of the 2-person podcast. Thinks she has all the facts (hence her name is Tru). Trusting that nothing bad is really going to happen to her and if it does someone will come to her rescue.

Turning Point: Decides to bring on someone with entirely different views than theirs thinking they can probably sway him their way.

Midpoint: Meets and has on their podcast guest

Turning Point 2: Conversation gets heated

Dilemma: Podcast live shuts off along with all electrical devices. AirBnB home is not completely equipped for such an emergency.

3rd Act Climax: Has to make a decision whether or not she will work with the guest for survival

Ending: is humbled and changed by the experience. Her perspective is taking a turn.

PODCASTER 2 JENN

Beginning: Walks on eggshells a bit with her co-host not wanting to rock the boat.

Turning Point: Decides she is going to stand up to her cohost and have a serious discussion about her place on the podcast and if they should move forward together.

Midpoint: Meets and has on their podcast guest

Turning Point 2: Conversation gets heated

Dilemma: Podcast live shuts off along with all electrical devices. AirBnB home is not completely equipped for such an emergency.

3rd Act Climax: Her relationship is discovered with the producer once something happens to him.

Ending: Able to “stand on her own two feet”

PODCAST GUEST PAUL

Beginning: Doesn’t see much use in reaching across the aisle and trying to understand opposite views.

Turning Point: Decides to take on a bet and go out of his comfort zone and attend a podcast in a remote desert location with hosts that have opposite views.

Midpoint: Arrives to the location of the podcast live session and meets the hosts in person

Turning Point 2: Conversation gets heated

Dilemma: Podcast live shuts off along with all electrical devices. AirBnB home is not completely equipped for such an emergency.

3rd Act Climax: Has to decide whether he should care about these women enough to help them out and work together. Admits he is there because of a bet.

Ending: Believes that people can be capable of change

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 6: Character Profiles Part 1

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Putting separate components from prior lessons together and adding more information to start forming the characters. I am enjoying learning this organized process.

PROTAGONIST: CLARA

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: Clara goes from being too comfortable, too assuming that life is going to turn out a certain way to one that shows her amazing true colors in a crisis involving someone she really loves.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance for a woman to shine and show range. She will carry the movie showing her inner strength and be an example of what other women could do in this type of situation.

Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for CLARA:

1. Role in the Story: Wife, caretaker, hero, savior

2. Age range and Description: 50s-60s, female

3. Core Traits: Faithful but comfortable and is thrown into a position unexpectedly testing her faith, her strength, her ability to be the leader.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: she wants to find out what happened to her husband and bring him home safely.

5. Wound: Had to care for younger sibling(s) when she was young herself so enjoys the life of someone taking care of her.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: She pulls great strength inside to care for and help her husband return home. A humble woman, wife, mother just wanting to experience a dream retirement vacation with her husband. She is hit with the unexpected and must let go of her expectations of how her plans were supposed to go.

PROTAGONIST: JAMES

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: James goes from caretaker, anxiety doctor trusting but not wife trusting apparently to not remembering who his wife is.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance to bring awareness to dementia and all the different ways a person can develop it. This could be the “Rain Man” of dementia movies/stories.

Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for JAMES:

1. Role in the Story: Husband, provider, suffering memory loss

2. Age range and Description: 50s-60s, male

3. Core Traits: Anxiety ridden but somehow hides it. Loving towards his family and doesn’t want to worry them. Doesn’t tell his wife that he is part of a clinical trial. Trusts that his doctor cares about his well-being and trusts his judgement, admitting he’s not a doctor and wouldn’t know what to do.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: He wants to break free of his anxiety. He wants to plan and provide his wife with a dream vacation they have been waiting their whole life for.

5. Wound: The stresses of life and work caught up to him. He never wanted to develop dementia like his father did.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Planned out a wonderful dreamlike retirement vacation for he and his wife to enjoy. He takes on the stress and anxiety not wanting to put that on his family. Develops dementia, becomes helpless and lost and can’t care for himself.

ANTAGONIST: DR. RIA

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: Dr. Ria goes from a trusted family doctor to having a hidden agenda of prescribing something that he will make money on.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance to be the good and bad guy and show that doctors don’t always have the answers and people should hold them accountable when they have alternative intentions.

Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for DR. RIA:

1. Role in the Story: Family doctor

2. Age range and Description: Possible 40s-60s, looks legit.

3. Core Traits: Seems professional, caring and trusting to his patients but is an underlying deceiver. Puts his hunger for money above the patient’s well-being.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: initially intended to help patients but money took first priority.

5. Wound: Scared to reveal whole truths because he was inaccurately accused of malpractice in the past and doesn’t want to reveal all the results of the past clinical trial to James because it could hinder his opportunity to make money in the clinical trial.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Is a doctor that is in the business of helping people feel better. Has a family of his own that he needs to care for, so he falls for a desperate way to make side money not thinking of the ultimate harm. Must bow down to a greater entity than he which is the pharmaceutical company. Falsely accused of malpractice in the past which almost cost him his license.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 6: Character Profiles Part 1

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Putting separate components from prior lessons together and adding more information to start forming the characters. I am enjoying learning this organized process.

PROTAGONIST: CLARA

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: Clara goes from being too comfortable, too assuming that life is going to turn out a certain way to one that shows her amazing true colors in a crisis involving someone she really loves.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance for a woman to shine and show range. She will carry the movie showing her inner strength and be an example of what other women could do in this type of situation.

Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for CLARA:

1. Role in the Story: Wife, caretaker, hero, savior

2. Age range and Description: 50s-60s, female

3. Core Traits: Faithful but comfortable and is thrown into a position unexpectedly testing her faith, her strength, her ability to be the leader.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: she wants to find out what happened to her husband and bring him home safely.

5. Wound: Had to care for younger sibling(s) when she was young herself so enjoys the life of someone taking care of her.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: She pulls great strength inside to care for and help her husband return home. A humble woman, wife, mother just wanting to experience a dream retirement vacation with her husband. She is hit with the unexpected and must let go of her expectations of how her plans were supposed to go.

PROTAGONIST: JAMES

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: James goes from caretaker, anxiety doctor trusting but not wife trusting apparently to not remembering who his wife is.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance to bring awareness to dementia and all the different ways a person can develop it. This could be the “Rain Man” of dementia movies/stories.

Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for JAMES:

1. Role in the Story: Husband, provider, suffering memory loss

2. Age range and Description: 50s-60s, male

3. Core Traits: Anxiety ridden but somehow hides it. Loving towards his family and doesn’t want to worry them. Doesn’t tell his wife that he is part of a clinical trial. Trusts that his doctor cares about his well-being and trusts his judgement, admitting he’s not a doctor and wouldn’t know what to do.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: He wants to break free of his anxiety. He wants to plan and provide his wife with a dream vacation they have been waiting their whole life for.

5. Wound: The stresses of life and work caught up to him. He never wanted to develop dementia like his father did.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Planned out a wonderful dreamlike retirement vacation for he and his wife to enjoy. He takes on the stress and anxiety not wanting to put that on his family. Develops dementia, becomes helpless and lost and can’t care for himself.

ANTAGONIST: DR. RIA

A. The High Concept: While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband develops dementia.

B. This character’s journey: Dr. Ria goes from a trusted family doctor to having a hidden agenda of prescribing something that he will make money on.

C. The Actor Attractors for this character: This is a chance to be the good and bad guy and show that doctors don’t always have the answers and people should hold them accountable when they have alternative intentions.

Brainstorm the first 6 parts of the profile for DR. RIA:

1. Role in the Story: Family doctor

2. Age range and Description: Possible 40s-60s, looks legit.

3. Core Traits: Seems professional, caring and trusting to his patients but is an underlying deceiver. Puts his hunger for money above the patient’s well-being.

4. Motivation; Want/Need: initially intended to help patients but money took first priority.

5. Wound: Scared to reveal whole truths because he was inaccurately accused of malpractice in the past and doesn’t want to reveal all the results of the past clinical trial to James because it could hinder his opportunity to make money in the clinical trial.

6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy: Is a doctor that is in the business of helping people feel better. Has a family of his own that he needs to care for, so he falls for a desperate way to make side money not thinking of the ultimate harm. Must bow down to a greater entity than he which is the pharmaceutical company. Falsely accused of malpractice in the past which almost cost him his license.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 5: Audience Connection to Characters

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

Finding ways for the audience to feel for the antagonist. People may see him coming from a position of privilege and think that he should have no excuse.

PROTAGONIST: JAMES

Likability: Planned out a wonderful dreamlike
retirement vacation for he and his wife to enjoy
Relatability: He takes on the stress and anxiety
not wanting to put that on his family <div>

Empathy: Develops dementia, becomes helpless and
lost and can’t care for himself

PROTAGONIST: CLARA

Likability: She pulls great strength inside to
care for and help her husband return home
Relatability: A humble woman, wife, mother just
wanting to experience a dream retirement vacation with her husband </div><div>

Empathy: She is hit with the unexpected and has to
forget her expectations of how her plans were supposed to go. She is going through so many emotions trying to deal with her husband’s sudden change.

ANTAGONIST: DR. RIA

Likability: Is a doctor that is in the business of
helping people feel better

Relatability: has a family of his own that he
needs to care for so he falls for a desperate way to make side money not
thinking of the ultimate harm

Empathy: has to bow down to a greater entity than
he which is the pharmaceutical company. Falsely accused of malpractice in
the past which almost cost him his license.

</div>

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

Contained – 2023

Lesson 4: Discovering Character Depth

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I am just developing these characters and getting to know them so it seems all surface right now. I am trying to have a breakthrough with them to reveal more than just the surface. I am hoping to figure out more information soon.

Internal Character Depth: PODCASTER 1 (no name yet)

Motivation: Wants to bring their podcast to the
next level by showing bravery to reach out to someone with opposite views
Secret: often hides her misery
Wound: past rejection,
Subtext: relies on others to ultimately fix her
problems,
Layers: wants to be loved but too combative,
stubborn

Internal Character Depth PODCASTER 2 (no name yet)

Motivation: Wants to be liked
Secret: pretends to agree with her co-host a lot
of times when she doesn’t
Wound: has been outcasted before and afraid of
that happening again
Subtext: lets her co-host be the alpha
Layers: is about to break out of her shell and use
her skills

Internal Character Depth PODCAST GUEST

Motivation: trying to see other people’s point of
view
Secret: scared
Wound: has shut down people in the past he doesn’t
see eye to eye with
Subtext: has some camping, survival skills
Layers: strong, caring, wants to be more
understanding

Character to character

Conflict: stubborn to listen to each other and
help each other
Hidden Agenda: Podcaster 1 wants their guest to
see things her way
Conspiracy: unknown Intrigue: coming to terms to work together,
trusting each other in a desperate, serious situation, using their
differences to work in their favor

Character Situation

Dilemma: has to rely on each other when they’re
involved in a grid shutdown

Secret Identity: not sure yet

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 4: Character Intrigue

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I am learning more and more about my characters and how important they are to the story.

For each of your main characters, use this list to brainstorm one or more Intrigue items that might apply. You don’t need all of them; just one or two.

Character Name: Clara

Role: Wife/Savior
to Husband

Hidden agendas: Maybe
she stops and relates to her husband because she too took a substance to
help her without him knowing

Secrets: Doesn’t
want to be in control unless necessary, maybe Clara has anxiety too?
Unspoken Wound: Maybe
had to care for younger sibling(s) when she was young herself so enjoys
the life of someone taking care of her

Character Name: James
Role:

Husband/Develops Dementia

Hidden agendas: Made
a secret plan to do something on the vacation his wife would really love

Secrets: Has
anxiety

Deception: Participated
in a clinical trial without telling his wife

Unspoken Wound: Maybe
something happened at work that has been causing him to build up the
anxiety

· Character Name: Dr. Ria

· Role: Family Doctor

· Hidden agendas: has a cut in the clinical trial

· Secrets: Involved with a big pharma company

· Deception: Didn’t tell James how he knows the edibles have been known to cause severe memory loss for a certain period of time

· Unspoken Wound: Scared to reveal whole truths because he was inaccurately accused of malpractice in the past

Give us an idea of how that character’s subtext might show up in your movie.

· There may be flashbacks of Clara being forced to take charge when she was young and didn’t want to have to do that again and/or there is a flashback of her being a savior in a way with a sibling. Maybe a sibling got hurt and she was able to care for and be a hero in a way to her sibling. She could use her past triumphs to help James when he developed dementia.

· There could be a scene of James meeting with his doctor and sharing his stresses and anxiety and how he doesn’t want to tell his family and worry them.

· I’m also toying with an idea of James and Clara possibly having a grown child that was disabled and this could have helped cause James’s anxiety.

· There could be a scene where Clara discovers a wonderful surprise of something James planned for them on their vacation and he developed dementia before he could present it to her.

· There could be a scene of Dr. Ria receiving results of the clinical trial that he doesn’t want to share

<div>
</div>

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

Contained – 2023

Lesson 3: Who Are The Right Characters

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I have to create a character or characters that are so trusting and basically have amnesia of past emergencies happening and place them in a setting where they need help from someone they usually dislike and see what happens.

With each of your main characters, how can they uniquely fit with the Hook?

· One person wasn’t as prepared as they should have been in a remote area.

· One podcaster goes along with trends but could possibly be swayed.

· The guest is opposite of the two podcasters and the other two took a chance inviting this person to their podcast.

Thinking about the conflict that hook creates, how does each main character enhance or cause that conflict?

· One podcaster: strongly set in their ways of trust such as trusting the government, the media and usually runs aways from opposite views or situations.

· The second podcaster usually goes along with the first one in tough times and decisions.

· The guest is also a podcaster with their own podcast with different experiences and skills.

Tell us what makes these characters the “right ones” for this story?

They must rely on each other in a difficult, possibly life or death situation. This guest has skills that can help them survive and can create unity to help them eventually escape.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

Contained – 2023

Lesson 2: High Concept – The Key to Selling Scripts!

A. How did this process work for you? Admittingly, I did the first part of the Contained course backwards and it actually helped. I posted in the forum my introduction, NDA and 1^st assignment due to time constraints I had this week. Sidenote/Tangent: Now I am thinking of how Hal said in one of his discussions not to tell them your process. Too late. I am typing my process at least for the sake of this assignment and to remember in the future.

B. What did you learn doing this assignment?”

I drove back and forth to San Diego this week and had time to think. My two San Diego drive sessions were about two hours each way so I drove about 8 hours in total on those drive sessions. One of them I listened to Hal’s discussion that you are supposed to listen to before completing Lesson 1 which actually ties into the pre-course work. I had it set in my mind to use a screenplay I already wrote and use this class to work on that. But while I was listening to Hal’s discussion, it dawned on me to use an idea/concept that I had for some time and go through the course naturally to see what happens with this. So now the components of the idea I mentioned in Lesson 1 are not the same story.

Ask the High Concept Question.

Having to do with deserts, what haven’t we seen
before?

Pick one and do the Exchanging Components process.

List the components of your current concept.

A. Contained Environment

House or studio in the desert

B. Contained Characters

Two podcast people, one guest and one producer

C. Difficult Situation

Grid shutdown including Internet shutdown and
vehicle shutdown

D. Reason for the Containment:

Unprepared

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 3: Character Subtext

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I am learning more about my characters and finding easier ways to present them and explain who they are how important they are to the story.

MOVIE TITLE: DREAM VACATION

Movie Title: DREAM VACATION <div>

Character Name: Dr. Voss (original name), maybe
Dr. Ria or Dr. Blank

<div>

Subtext Identity: A long term family doctor of
James and Clara that has been approached recently by pharmaceutical
companies monetarily enticing him with new drugs for his patients.

Subtext Trait: Learns as he goes from the effects
his patients tell him when he prescribes something due to all these drugs
being new, doesn’t want to openly admit all mistakes because it might cost
him his medical license.

Subtext Logline: Dr. Ria suggests James take a new
edible available that doctors have access to for patients with dementia.
Dr. Ria is aware there have been a few patients that developed dementia
for a short time taking it and doesn’t express this clearly to James.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Dr. Ria doesn’t explain
all of the effects that he knows about to James. Dr. Ria is taking part in
this drug experiment/clinical trial for monetary reasons. Dr. Ria knows
that the dementia has been known to last a certain amount of time in
patients. Dr. Ria does care about James and his other patients but he puts
his monetary concerns first.

For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:

Character Name: James </div>

Subtext Identity: James
took a clinical trial edible that caused dementia.

Subtext Trait: Anxiety
ridden, doesn’t want to worry his family, doesn’t tell his wife that he is
part of a clinical trial, trusts that his doctor cares about his well-being
and trusts his judgement admitting he’s not a doctor and wouldn’t know
what to do.

Subtext Logline: Before
going on a dream retirement vacation, James, unknowingly to his wife, takes
part in a clinical trial edible to ease his anxiety which causes him to
develop dementia in a foreign country.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Clara sees James take
an edible and he doesn’t tell her where it’s from and just blows it off as
it will help make the vacation more relaxing. We see James meeting with
the family doctor and discussing his anxiety and expressing to the doctor
he doesn’t want to tell his family and worry them.

Character Name: Clara

Subtext Identity: James’s wife who is left with no
choice but to take care of her husband when he develops dementia on their
dream retirement vacation.

Subtext Trait: Decides to take care of her husband
even though she lacks the confidence to lead in her family

Subtext Logline: Clara is faced with a fast choice
of whether to take charge and help her husband when he develops dementia
on their dream retirement vacation.

Possible Areas of Subtext: Clara is naïve not
thinking that this could happen to her family. She thinks James had it all
together since he planned out the vacation and took charge. Clara didn’t
realize James was dealing with unmanageable stress and anxiety. She fees
upset thinking James didn’t trust her enough to tell her what was going on
with him. She felt left out not realizing what her husband was going
through and that he saw his doctor behind her back on his lunch break. She
feels like she was unknowingly put in this spot when someone would have to
take care of James if he had extreme effects from this edible.

</div>

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

Contained – 2023

Lesson 1: Keys To A Great Contained Movie

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

This is more of a challenge than I realized since I had to find a movie and cut it down with COVID guidelines. That’s difficult to do with a lot of movies. I also found out that usually contained movies are called “bottle” movies.

ASSIGNMENT PART 1: Select Your Project

A. It can be done as a contained story:
this can be pulled off because for the most part, the movie takes place in
an office building.
B. You can write a pitch in one or two sentences: This
will be a journey getting the wording of the pitch down so it can sell
immediately.
C. There is something unique about it: it seems to
me that a common component of a contained movie is usually that the
characters are trapped and can’t escape which is what the main character
feels like in my concept and there is a specific journey there of mental abuse
and a desire to leave but something is holding her back.

ASSIGNMENT PART 2: Adjust a Produced Movie to Covid Guidelines

TITLE: CUJO (1983) HORROR/THRILLER

AS THEY DID IT:

A. People: Vic and Donna Trenton, their son, Tad, Donna’s ex-boyfriend, Steve that she’s having an affair with, the abusive mechanic and his family, Sheriff George Bannerman, a couple of other Cujo victims.

B. Stunts: Stuntman Gary Morgan in a dog suit

C. Extras: A Labrador in a St. Bernard suit on stand-by, Different sources say 5 St. Bernards or as many as 13 were used as extras.

D. Wardrobe: 80s and dirty, sweaty for certain scenes.

E. Hair and Make Up: Dee Wallace and Danny Pintauro need make-up to look hot and dehydrated because the film was shot in the cold.

F. Kids and Animals: 1 St. Bernard, one kid who ends up stuck in the car and the mechanic’s kid that searches for Cujo in the fog.

G. Quarantine: Mother and child trapped in a broken-down car in extreme heat while a rabid bat bit dog tries to attack them.

COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:

A. People: Keeping the main people seems important since it tells the story of why a mother and her son are stranded in a broken-down car and no one is looking for them for a while.

B. Stunts: possibly more mechanical or CGI dogs and to try to prevent the training issues and Dee Wallace being bitten on the face and needing stitches.

C. Extras A Labrador in a St. Bernard suit turned out to not be necessary. Maybe cut down the amount of dogs as extras.

D. Wardrobe Fine as is

E. Hair and Make Up: possible hair and make-up put on by the actors themselves. Possibly shoot it in summer with water breaks to avoid extra make-up and took look more natural.

F. Kids and Animals: Fine as is

G. Quarantine: I’d say this movie could almost pass as a contained movie due to a lot of it happening out in the woods or in a car. Since this movie is based on a book it’s hard to cut out a lot if we want to stay true but maybe have more scenes where people are not in close contact, Maybe keep the original story from Stephen King’s book where Tad dies to prevent further close contact to the mother or use a wax figure. Maybe cut out any scene where people are too close in contact like the one showing Dee Wallace and Christopher Stone in bed together having an affair except they were married in real life so that could pass. The film was shot in around four locations – maybe cut down the number of locations with finding a location with two homes on a lot making it look like it was shot in two different locations. Maybe use air filters to clean the air of spreading viruses.

[H. Vince]

1. H. Vince

2. I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 2: Roles That Sell Actors

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

I am learning more and more about these characters as I work on these assignments. It makes me want to watch the movie as an outsider to see what happens.

MOVIE TITLE: DREAM VACATION

LEAD CHARACTER NAME: Clara

ROLE: Protagonist

What about this role would cause an actor to want
to be known for it?

This is a chance for a woman to shine and show range. She will carry the movie showing her inner strength and be an example of what other women could do in this type of situation.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

She is put in a spot that not everyone expects. She decides to prove to herself and others that she can take charge and be true to her marriage vows when helping her husband in sickness and health especially in an unfamiliar location.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Clara has to find her husband when he goes missing. She has to communicate with people in a foreign land. She has to ask questions she normally wouldn’t ask. She has to rely on herself because her husband, even though he may not know it, is relying on her. She has to find out what happened to her husband in the first place.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Clara is excited to go on this trip with her husband and starts to help him slowly when he acts loopy after taking an edible, making sure they don’t get kicked off the plane. Her comfortability, her idea of a dream vacation dramatically change when the unexpected happens. Her husband develops dementia and doesn’t recognize her.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

She is usually too comfortable in her life just going along with how life is “supposed to” play out. She’s sort of afraid to speak up – non-confrontational. She is possibly naïve or inexperienced – maybe doesn’t have street smarts. She has to be courageous and leave her comfort zone in order to help her husband.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

Past memories can arise of Clara afraid to ask her doctor questions and trusting his judgement. Clara talking to her hairdresser in the past about ways to develop dementia and saying she sees no signs of her or her husband developing it.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

Clara may develop a relationship with a foreign relative or someone working at the hotel they are staying at. Clara may have someone back at home willing to help her through this.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

Clara wanted her husband to be the head of the family and in charge. She was perfectly fine with him having that role. She didn’t imagine that he would need her in the most extreme way someday and she can’t abandon him.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

Clara is truly tested in life. She was presented with an issue without prior warning in a location that she is unfamiliar with except for the information her husband gave her when he booked the trip. This situation is not universally known or talked about.

LEAD CHARACTER NAME: James

ROLE: Protagonist

1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?

Choosing to play a role that is far from the person you are in real life is real acting. A man can have the chance to create a believable character that has developed dementia. That is so challenging and possibly Oscar worthy.

2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?

This man develops dementia out of nowhere in a foreign land with no prior indication of having symptoms prior.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?

Clara later finds that James had taken charge of booking an ultimate dream retirement vacation and thought of wonderful details that she never even imagined. James trusts his doctor’s recommendation to take part in a clinical trial with an edible that should help with his anxiety so he can relax on vacation.

4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?

Clara is excited to go on this trip with her husband and starts to help him slowly when he acts loopy after taking an edible, making sure they don’t get kicked off the plane. Her comfortability, her idea of a dream vacation dramatically change when the unexpected happens. Her husband develops dementia and doesn’t recognize her.

5. What could be this character’s emotional range

An actor has to somehow give off the impression that they were once the head of the family but hiding anxiety and then later cannot remember their loved ones and look lost, scared, vulnerable, confused, angry, suspicious, frustrated and wander the streets of a foreign country or get lost somehow.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

James is adored and admired by his family. James had an undesirable working situation that gave him anxiety. James trusts his doctor enough to go with his suggested clinical trial recommendation.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?

James comes across someone that helps him when he has dementia and gets lost. Clara interacting with James trying to get him to listen and trust her so she can help him.

8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?

James is the husband and the head of the family and wants to carry the burden of worrying about anything so his family doesn’t have to. He keeps his anxiety a secret from his wife, Clara so she can be relaxed and not worry. He wants to give her a wonderful life he thinks she deserves.

9. What could make this character special and unique?

James is an American in a foreign land that develops dementia.

[H. Vince]

1. H. Vince

2. I have written or partially written around 30 scripts.

3. I signed up for the class because of a contained script I made already have but I want to go through this process to see if I can use it and enhance it.

4. I am currently signed up for 4 classes through ScreenwritingU and I have a full-time job so let’s see what happens haha

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 1: Lead Characters That Attract Actors

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

That I chose a movie I hadn’t seen for some time so I had forgotten most of the details when I watched it today. I saw the movie in a whole new way by analyzing the main characters and assuming why an actor would want to choose to take on such a role.

MOVIE TITLE: THE VANISHING (1993)

Starring: Jeff Bridges. Kiefer Sutherland, Nancy Travis, Sandra Bullock

LEAD CHARACTER NAME: Antagonist Barney Cousins (Jeff Bridges)

1. Why would an actor WANT
to be known for this role?

It’s a chance to act as a believable demented man far from who the actor is probably in real life.

2. What makes this character the most interesting character in the movie?

He thinks abduction is a series of calculations and finds out things don’t always work out as planned.

3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?

Practicing the steps leading up to the abduction & taking notes. Failing at attempted abductions. Being successful at an abduction when he didn’t plan it out perfectly. Admiring the protagonist. Being beat up. Being outsmarted.

4. How is this character
introduced that could sell it to an actor?

The movies starts out showing the character practicing abduction on himself including timing how long he is out when he breathes in chloroform and recording the results.

5. What is the character’s emotional range?

He is a calm and strong man. He records his pulse rate at one point while practicing abduction. He realizes the weaker or more vulnerable he is, the easier it may be to abduct. He expresses that he loves his wife and daughter. He tells his daughter that romance should be secret. He tells his wife that working on a cabin in the woods on his own is his way of finding out more about who he is. His calmness changes when he thinks his daughter has been abducted.

6. What subtext can the actor play?

He can be a family man and teacher and go about his life as if an abduction never took place.

7. What’s the most interesting relationships this
character has?

He has a connection with his daughter through the infinity symbol. She gives him a bracelet for his birthday with this symbol. He admires the protagonist for searching for his girlfriend for years and not being able to move on in life until he knows what happened to her.

8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?

After he saved a girl drowning in a pool and his daughter praised him for it, he thought he had to be on a mission to see if he was capable of evil as well to justify being a God in his daughter’s eyes.

9. What makes this character special and unique?

He doesn’t see himself as a killer because to him, he doesn’t actually kill a person. He sees his actions as experiments. He even asks the protagonist and his girlfriend to drink the drugged coffee so they can experience what the person before them experienced. He also asked the first abductee if she would get in his car making it always their choice at first.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 6: Build In The Genre Conventions

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

the concept stressed me out. I’m imagining myself in Clara’s shoes trying to deal with a pressuring realization that comes strong and fast. Which is kind of the assignment in that I need to come up with ways, fast ways to describe these characters and how the main character triumphs and resolves her plight.

TITLE:

DREAM VACATION

CONCEPT:

While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband gets dementia.

GENRE:

Drama/Thriller

CONVENTIONS OF DRAMA

PURPOSE: Clara just wanted to enjoy a lifelong planned dream vacation with her husband! She had no idea it was going to take a turn for the worst.

CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: Clara’s husband, James, needs help. His actions are begging for her to be in charge. James needs Clara to be reliable and strong without ever asking her to be.

HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Clara questions herself at one point whether she is capable, and she’s got to believe that James would do the same for her. But even if James wouldn’t do the same, it doesn’t matter, what kind of person is she? What would she do? Clara is put to the test.

EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Clara shows her vulnerability and natural reaction to her loved one being far from who they usually are.

CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY CHARGED SITUATIONS: Clara turns out to control her emotions so that they work in her favor.

REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: This is upsetting and scary to a spouse no matter if they already hold a certain role in their marriage.

CONVENTIONS OF THRILLERS

PURPOSE: This is stress for the audience watching not knowing if Clara can handle everything. One of her adult kids is in the service and the other tries to fly out to her but, the flights are delayed and cancelled due to a storm.

LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS: Clara realizes she is trying to bring her husband home. A man who is stronger and could become aggressive because he is in a different state of mind not knowing who she is at some points.

MYSTERY/INTRIGUE/SUSPENSE: Clara finds out that James is still under clinical trial and he is supposed to regain memory but the clinical trial practitioners are in charge and she doesn’t want them to leave her husband in a state of memory loss. Clara has to hold these practitioners responsible at some point because they forced her into this situation without her knowledge or consent.

HERO: Clara turns out to control her emotions so that they work in her favor.

VILLAIN: Family Doctor/Clinical Trial Practitioners feeling threatened /that don’t want to admit any wrongdoing because it could mean revoking their licenses

MAIN EMOTIONS: This is frightening to anyone that would be put in a situation not just if it happened at home but on a more intense level whereas their traveling companion develops dementia in a foreign country far away from home. This is the type of thing that can give a caretaker extreme anxiety that is forced into an active leading role.

ACT 1:

Opening: James and Clara board the plane joyously. James seems a little loopy after taking an edible and Clara is shy seeing if others are noticing but happy to be there with James and trusting all the plans he made for the trip.

Inciting Incident: James and Clara seem to be enjoying a meal and James stops and asks Clara where he is.

Turning Point: Clara calls their family doctor and realizes her husband had anxiety all along brought on by his job and his boss and James had told their family doctor about it.

ACT 2:

New Plan: Clara decides to book a flight home.

Plan in Action: She calls home telling their kids what has happened but says she will bring him home tomorrow. James and Clara’s children decided to fly to help Clara.

Midpoint Turning Point: Clara wakes up and James has disappeared. Their son runs into flight cancellations and reroutes that postpone him arriving to help.

ACT 3:

Rethink everything: Clara contacts someone they know in the country they are visiting that they were possibly going to meet up with. Clara researches traveling with someone who has dementia.

New plan: Clara is deciding that she is the one that ultimately cares for James and what happens to him and figures out how to find him and does.

Turning point: Huge failure/Major shift: Clara finds out that the edible James took what from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

ACT 4:

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Clara tries to retain an attorney to sue their doctor and the clinical trial practitioners for putting her and her husband in this position.

Resolution: James ultimately gains full cognitive abilities when the clinical trial ends and Clara fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 5: Four-Act Transformational Structure

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

that it is difficult. I didn’t use an idea I already had a script written or partially written for. I used just the concept I have had for some time so I could go through this process organically without being ahead already. I am coming up with all of this here and now under pressure, under a time constraint. But this is good because I’m having to leave my comfort zone and write in a different way than usual. I wanted to do this. I wanted to learn this. I wanted to be trained in this manner so I could do it again.

CONCEPT:

While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband gets dementia.

MAIN CONFLICT:

James starts developing dementia while he and his wife, Clara are on their retirement vacation. Clara has to take care of James and try to bring him back to the U.S. all while trying to figure out what happened to her husband.

Old Ways:

· Humdrum

· Too comfortable

· Naïve

· Afraid

New Ways:

· Courageous

· Motivated

· Adventurous

· Researcher/Investigator

ACT 1: SET UP AND SEE OLD WAYS

Opening: James and Clara board the plane joyously. James seems a little loopy after taking an edible and Clara is shy seeing if others are noticing but happy to be there with James and trusting all the plans he made for the trip.

Inciting Incident: James and Clara seem to be enjoying a meal and James stops and asks Clara where he is.

Turning Point: Clara starts researching and realizes her husband had anxiety all along brought on by his job and his boss and James had told their family doctor about it.

ACT 2: CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS

New Plan: Clara decides to book a flight home.

Plan in Action: She calls home telling their kids what has happened but says she will bring him home tomorrow.

Midpoint Turning Point: Clara wakes up and James has disappeared.

ACT 3: WITH MIDPOINT CHANGE, PROFOUND MOMENTS THAT GIVE US NEW WAYS

Rethink everything: Clara contacts someone they know in the country they are visiting that they were possibly going to meet up.

New plan: Clara is deciding that she is the one that ultimately cares for James and what happens to him and figures out how to find him and does.

Turning point: Huge failure/Major shift: Clara finds out that the edible James took what from a clinical trial that accelerated memory loss and he is still under clinical trial.

ACT 4: TEST THE CHANGE IN THIS CHARACTER! PROVE NEW WAYS!

Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Clara tries to retain an attorney to sue their doctor and the clinical trial practitioners for putting her and her husband in this position.

Resolution: James ultimately gains full cognitive abilities when the clinical trial ends and Clara fights to have beforehand caretaker medical knowledge if anyone will be affected by a clinical trial and/or medication prescription.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 4: What’s Beneath the Surface?

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

what types of subtext plots I want to use to characterize the concept. I also realized that I may want to change the doctor’s name.

CONCEPT:

While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband gets dementia.

Subtext Plot 2. Layering

James develops dementia while on a retirement vacation in another country with his wife, Clara. James had not shown any signs of dementia before the trip. Clara was talking to her hairdresser about a form of dementia recently and there were no telltale signs then. James did have anxiety that Clara didn’t really realize, and he spoke to their family doctor about it. The doctor subscribed an edible that accelerated dementia characteristics.

Subtext Plot 4. The Fish Out of Water

Clara must step up and take charge when she realizes what is happening to James. She must search for James when he gets lost. She also investigates what caused James’s symptoms at the same time and their family doctor’s role.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 3: The Transformational Journey

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

That I learned more about Clara and what she was and who she is willing to be when she is ultimately tested in life.

CLARA

Arc Beginning: Just someone taking the steps through life with her family. She works, contributing financially to the household, working to the “finish line” with her husband.

Arc Ending: Caretaker and Hero to Husband

Internal Journey: From too comfortable, too assuming that life is going to turn out a certain way to not being duped easily by hearsay.

External Journey: From regular monotone citizen to one that shows her amazing true colors in a crisis involving someone she really loves.

Old Ways:

· Humdrum

· Too comfortable

· Naïve

· Afraid

New Ways:

· Courageous

· Motivated

· Adventurous

· Researcher/Investigator

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 2: Intentional Lead Characters

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

to give a clear-cut rundown of the main characters based off a Dramatic Triangle structure – at least that is how I interpreted the assignment. To put the character, logline and uniqueness all in one based on the Dramatic Triangle sample.

· James is the husband who develops dementia.

. Clara is the wife trying to help her husband in a foreign country.

· Dr. Voss suggested James take a trial edible to ease his anxiety.

[H. Vince]

Student Name: H. Vince

WIM – 2023

Lesson 1: Great Outlines Make Great Scripts!

My Vision: I am going to go to the theater in disguise and watch a movie I wrote and listen to the reactions of the audience.

What I learned from doing this assignment is…

how we all will respond to each other’s concepts, being this is the first time we’ll be posting these in the forum.

TITLE:

Dream Vacation

CONCEPT:

While a retired couple is taking their life-long dream vacation, the husband gets dementia.

CHARACTER STRUCTURE:

Dramatic Triangle

[H. Vince]

Hello, my name is H. Vince.

I have written or began to write around 30 scripts over at least 30 years. I have also written short stories, poetry and articles years ago under pseudonyms.

I am taking this class to give me professional training and focus.

Not only have I gained experience/ideas from personal experience and education, but I have applied for and taken side jobs to experience life as another person to secretly research and develop insight. I don’t even include all of the side work on my resume unless it helps me gain the job.

I am excited to be a part of this class and looking forward to the end to see how it has helped with my writing.

[H. Vince]

H. Vince

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[H. Vince]

Hi Margaret!

I’m sorry. I just saw your message. For some reason I am not receiving all e-mail notifications even though I marked the box “Notify me of replies via email”. I will message you with my e-mail address.

Thank you!

[H. Vince]

GONE GIRL is a great example of a Thriller movie.

[H. Vince]

I had the same issue as well.

[H. Vince]

Elizabeth, I’m not even joking when I say I need to hire you as my marketing person!

Thank you so much for this rewrite.

– H Vince.

[H. Vince]

Hi Vincent. I really like your 2nd draft. I agree with using World War II instead of 1945 to begin with even though we may assume it is WWII, there will be no stopping to wonder. And I like how you added that it is a true story. For some reason that sparked my interest even more. I’m curious about how the rest of your query letter outline would look like with items such as the title, genre, your bio and contact information.

[H. Vince]

Elizabeth, I like the outline of your letter. It gets right to the question immediately. I remember Hal saying we only have 10 seconds to spark their interest. I’m realizing my outline wastes too much time with formalities up front. I posted my first draft so I can get some real serious feedback. Please give me any suggestions you have. Thank you!

[H. Vince]

Hi Lenore,

I would like to exchange feedback with you. I will need to receive my outline back from Brian first and once I revise, I will let you know so we can exchange as well.

[H. Vince]

Hey Brian,

Sounds good! I’ll send you a message.

– H.

[H. Vince]

I like this concept!

[H. Vince]

I’m on a board with this one. This could be one of the Black Mirror movies! 😃

[H. Vince]

You already had me with A.I. going wrong. I feel like these are manuals for life on how to deal if these scenarios were to happen.

[H. Vince]

The mom is like, “If you do this, I swear I will haunt you.” I’m already ready to hit Play on Netflix to see what happens..

[H. Vince]

This is really intriguing. I’m imagining Comedy/Horror.

[H. Vince]

Haha thanks Cassie. This is the type of response I received when I ran it by a few people and loved that reaction!

😃

[H. Vince]

Hi Agnes,

I am a fellow student and just saw your message. Were you able to access all of the assignments yet? The assignments instruct for us to email each one. We haven’t reached the point to post anything else in the forum. So far we are only supposed to post our confidential agreement and one intro unless we wanted to message other students.

I just wanted to try to help you out.

– H. Vince 😀

[H. Vince]

Hi Karyn,

Nice to meet you also. “Began to write” is the key phrase. Some have been ideas that didn’t get past a few lines. 😂

Your one script idea could be that blockbuster!

[H. Vince]

Hi Joanne.

Nice to meet you as well. Thank you for the encouragement. I hope this class elevates us all as writers.

[H. Vince]

Happy Wednesday, Cassie! The movie “Howard The Duck” immediately came to mind when I read that.

[H. Vince]

Hi Cassie!

What’s the old saying? “Call me anything you want, just call me in time for supper.” Haha something like that.

– H. ☺

[H. Vince]

Hi Brian!

You can just address me as H. to make it fast and easy 😀

It’s a pleasure as well. I’m already hyped on this class after listening to the intros and happy to be taking this class with you and everyone here.

[H. Vince]

Hi Paul! Your work at NASA reminds me of when I was a kid and wanted to be an astronaut. Space camp was huge back then.

[H. Vince]

Nice to meet you as well, Ferdinand!