Forum Replies Created

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    September 2, 2023 at 6:29 pm in reply to: Introduce yourself to the group

    1. Name? Pete Feliz

    2. How many scripts you’ve written? 4 screenplays, 1 play & way too many unfinished whatevers

    3. What you hope to get out of the class? An Oscar AND a Nobel prize for Literature. Actually want to be able to learn and codify the elements of a thriller.

    4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? My abject and utter blandness

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    September 2, 2023 at 4:01 am in reply to: Lesson 15: Exchange Feedback

    Peter Feliz

    Member August 30, 2023 at 2:57 pm

    PETER FELIZ THRILLER MAP VERSION 1

    No matter how much my writing makes me cringe just plow through and it does improve. The Mystery, intrigue suspense reveals does open up my imagination.

    THRILLER DAY 14

    INT. – MORTUARY OFFICE – DAY

    Charles “Lucky” Lunes is rattling off excuses for writing a bad check for his mother’s funeral to the unmoved mortician. Instead of dunning Lucky the mortician tells him an anonymous benefactor paid for the funeral.

    The only clue as who the benefactor is: The envelope with the money & burial instructions is postmarked CUMARIPA SONORA MX

    EXT – FUNERAL REPAST – DAY

    Rancher Mitch Malmo interrupts Lucky’s reception. Accuses Lucy of being an accomplice to the conman(and Lucky’s estranged friend) who bankrupted him. Mitch physical violence.

    INT ,- BAR – NIGHT

    Lucky is drinking up enough courage to hunt down the anonymous benefactor in Sonora: Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. The same man who Ponzi scammed Mitch Malmo and Lucky’s mother. The same man who was once Lucky’s childhood friend.

    INT – JET FLIGHT – DAWN

    Lucky comes out of an alcoholic blackout seated next to an amorous woman babbling on about her “hicker-restomy.” He realizes his worst fear to date; He’s flying to Sonora perhaps without money or a passport. And he can’t speak Spanish to save his life.

    INT – HERMOSILLO AIRPORT – LATE MORNING

    Lucky at the Luggage carousel hoping he packed well for his surprise trip. He only packed his concertina.

    At Customs Lucky is called aside because he wants to know how to get to Cumaripa. The agents “strongly advise” Lucky to return to states immediately.

    At the ticket counter Lucky doesn’t have enough money to book a flight back immediately. Lucky sees the amorous “hicker-restomy” woman from his flight. He runs outside and bumps into a very large Mexican man…

    …who is the “hicker-restomy woman ‘s brother. She insists on giving him a ride

    INT – CAR – CONTINUOUS

    Lucky asks them to drive him to a food cart (CHILORIO VEGA) near the bus station he raved about in one of his past blogs (He had been to Hermosillo once before). The Hicker-restomy Woman asks if he writes Lucky’s Chuck Wagon Blog

    Lucky sees they are driving past the bus station. The Hicker-restomy Woman says the cart closed down.

    Lucky’s being kidnapped and taken to the storefront of a small but bustling restaurant: Chilorio Vega owned by Miss Hicker-restomy’s family.

    INT – CHILORIO VEGA – AFTERNOON

    The Vegas have “Mi casa, su casa” Lucky. He’s surprised to learn that they close early to avoid the drug gang violence. Also surprising among the celeb pictures that line their walls is Cuichi Valenzuela’s picture.

    INT – CHILORIO – NIGHT

    Outside sounds like a battle zone. But inside Lucky is updating his blog and avoiding Ms. Hicker-restomy’s advances. He notices an email from ALMALIBRE61 saying “Come visit the Hermosillo Hilton!”

    The Vegas tell Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo. He accuses them of evasiveness. The large Vega brother blurts out that the max jail outside of Hermosillo is nicknamed THE HERMOSILLO HILTON

    EXT – HERMOSILLO ZOCALO – MORNING

    Lucky can’t board the Jail Visitor’s Bus because the bus agent has no record of an Antonio Valenzuela currently incarcerated.

    Another bus agent overhears Lucky blurts out ALMALIBRE61. He offers to drive Lucky to the jail…mañana.

    INT – CHILORIO VEGA – EVENING

    The Vegas try to dissuade Lucky from visiting Cuichi. This is one of those don’t trust whom you should trust moments. Particularly since Cuichi’s picture is on their wall.

    But Lucky takes Ms Vega up on her sex offer.

    EXT – BACK ALLEY HERMOSILLO – DAWN

    A very bruised Lucky (maybe caught corpus delecti by one of the Vega Brothers) meets the mysterious bus driver. Lucky is uneasy because the vehicle they are taking to the jail is an old SUV not a jail bus.

    Once again against his better judgment Lucky gets into the SUV. On the way to the jail, the bus driver instructs Lucky to ask to see Maria-Jose Jesus Juarez. He also tells Lucky where to meet him after the visit.

    INT – JAIL VISITING ROOM – DAY

    Guards bring out convict to visit Lucky. But it is not Cuichi Valenzuela!

    Sending a trap Lucky plays along with the ruse to a point. He tells the Bogus Cuichi in his best broken Spanish that he’s “sorry but the mother is kills.” He pretends to be all choked up and gets out of the jail as fast as he can without arousing suspicion.

    EXT – THE JAIL WALL GATE – MINUTES LATER/DAY

    Lucky seas that the SUV is not at the designated meeting place. He looks around and spots it down the road. He runs to it and gets in before it can drive away.

    Sirens go off at the jail. Lucky and the driver fight. Someone hiding on the backseat floor knocks Lucky unconscious. It’s Cuichi.

    INT – A MEXICAN CANTINA – DARK

    Lucky wakes up bleary eyed tries to get his bearings. Lucky is not in a cantina. He’s in a brothel! In Nogales…175 miles from Hermosillo! Lucky tries to leave but a pimp insists he accepts one of the young ladies…or boys courtesy of a ominous (anonymous) benefactor.

    As Lucky accompanies one of the girls to a bedroom he sees a picture on a wall that looks like Cuichi. Suddenly he hears a scream and sees a man staggering out of a bedroom.

    It’s the rancher Mitch Malmo. Lucky grabs him realizing too late that Malmo’s been stabbed and is bleeding all over Lucky.

    The prostitutes and pimps accuse Lucky of the assault. Lucky is cornered by the Federales.

    INT – FEDERALES INTERROGATION – DOESN’T REALLY MATTER

    Two Federales agents are going to “make the elephant say it’s the white rabbit” on Lucky with a water bucket, a 12 volt battery and jumper cables.

    Two “Higher-ups” stop the torture and take Lucky into their custody. They have a heated exchange with the Federales that escalates into the Federales getting electrocuted.

    In the excitement Lucky gets a dose of electricity. Knocked out again.

    INT – SAN CARLOS BEACH HOUSE – DAY

    Lucky comes to. He follows an IRoomba doing a cleaning round throughout the living room. He doesn’t notice a TV doing a Spanish language infomercial until…. It’s Cuichi hosting the infomercial about Cumaripa.

    The Roomba is banging on the locked bathroom door. Lucky hears the voice from inside yelling “Cãllete!” Lucky yells, “Fuck you Cuichi!”. The toilet flushes off camera.

    Emerging from the bathroom is NOT CUICHI! It’s the real villain

    EXT/INT – BEACH HOUSE BALCONY – DAY

    As the Real Villain (Jorge Calvazos) shows Lucky the beach scape, the Roomba runs off the balcony crashing onto the cliff. Calvazos interrogates Lucky about Cuichi, the man he knows as Maria-Jose y Jesus Juarez.

    Calvazos insists Lucky eats an elaborate meal he has set out for him. Calvazos cannot eat because of severe IBS.

    Lucky expresses fear he will die. Calvazos becomes insulted. As the meal gets heated and the questions about Cuichi become more pointed someone yells from elsewhere in the house.I

    NT – BEACH HOUSE – DAY

    Calvazos orders Lucky to stay put as he addresses the yell from elsewhere in the beach house. Lucky is paralyzed at the meal table by the yelling in the house.

    He drinks up enough courage to get to the balcony and onto a ledge to escape. Lucky edges his way to what he realizes is where the yelling is coming from.

    He loses his footing, but before he falls, a hand grabs him and pulls him in where they meet face to face: a sickly eighteen year old with beady unmatched colored eyes…

    INT – THE BOY’ S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    The boy asks Calvazos “Is he the one?” pointing to Lucky. Lucky notices the room looks like an ICU room. The boy sobs in Calvazos’ arms. Calvazos threatens Lucky. The boy protests”Don’t! I don’t wanna live like this. I wanna die clean!”

    Calvazos throw Lucky the front door keys and orders him to find Cuichi. Lucky runs out of the beach house

    EXT. – HERMOSILLO – NIGHT

    Lucky taking a chance to escape Sonora goes back to Chilorio Vega to get his passport and things. But he sees the restaurant on fire. Ms. Vega tells Lucky to run to the American Consulate

    INT – AMERICAN CONSULATE – NIGHT

    Lucky has told a very sympathetic agent his story. She asks him to wait while she speaks to a supervisor. Lucky notices she’s contacted the Federales. Lucky sneaks out of the consulate.

    EXT – BACK ALLEY – NIGHT

    Lucky seeing heavy police presence on the street hides in a dumpster.

    INT – DUMPSTER – CONTINUOUS

    Lucky feels the dumpster moving. It’s been hitched up and is traveling fast enough to further jostle Lucky amongst the garbage and rats.

    INT/EXT – DUMPSTER – AN HOUR LATER

    The dumpster has stopped moving. The dumpster lid is pulled open. Two teenage gang members pull Lucky out and drag him to an idling Jeep Cherokee. Inside the Cherokee is Cuichi Valenzuela, who tells him “You drive, Mr. Toughie”

    EXT – DANGEROUS MOUNTAIN ROAD -NIGHT

    Lucky and Cuichi are trapped behind an exhaust spewing VW Bus. Cuichi interrogates Lucky about Calvazos. Lucky tries to get on Cuichi’s better side by comparing sexual exploits. During the conversation Cuichi mentions a mistress he impregnated who got an abortion. Lucky pieces things together as they are finally able to pass the VW bus.

    He tell Cuichi that Cuichi has an eighteen year old son who’s very sick and needs some sort of transplant.

    The Jeep hits a roadblock policed by teenage gang boys

    EXT- ROADBLOCK – CONTINUOUS

    Cuichi clearly angry at Lucky have the gang rough him up. Lucky blurts out that Calvazos “boy” has unmatched colored beady eyes.

    It’s like a lightening bolt to Cuichi. He orders one of the boys to drive Lucky away.

    Lucky thinking he’s going for a final ride spits in Cuichi’s face.

    EXT – JEEP – HALF AN HOUR LATER.

    THe young thug orders Lucky out of the Jeep. The thug points to a cleaning. At the end of the clearing is a border crossing station. Lucky tells The thug he doesn’t have a passport. The thug says “Buenas suarte,” and drives away

    EXT – FOOD CITY TUCSON AZ – A YEAR LATER – DAY

    LUcky at the butcher counter orders a pound of Chorizo. The butcher tells his unseen aid to wrap it up.

    The aid is Cuichi, who spits into the chorizo as he wraps it up saying, ” We’re even now Mr. Toughie.”

    FADE OUT

    PETER FELIZ THRILLER MAP VERSION 2

    “BEADY EYES”

    LOGLINE: Lucky Lunes hunts for his childhood “friend” who betrayed him and bankrupted his mother in the most dangerous Mexican State: Sonora.

    THRILLER MAP VERSION 2

    INT – MORTUARY – DAY

    Musician & Food Blogger Lucky Lunes discovers his mother’s elaborate funeral was paid for by an anonymous benefactor. Mystery & Clue: an envelope postmarked CUMARIPA SONORA MX

    EXT – FUNERAL REPAST – DAY

    Rancher Mitch Malmo interrupts Lucky’s reception. Accuses Lucky of being an accomplice to the conman (and Lucky’s estranged friend, Cuichi (KWEE chee) Valenzuela, theRED HERRING)who bankrupted him AND Lucky’s mother. Mitch physically threatens Lucky. SUSPENSE INTRIGUE

    INT – BAR – NIGHT

    Lucky is drinking up enough courage to hunt down the anonymous benefactor in Sonora: Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. REVEAL The same man who Ponzi scammed Mitch Malmo and Lucky’s mother. The same man who was once Lucky’s childhood friend. HERO’S PLAN SORTA

    INT – JET FLIGHT – DAWN

    Lucky comes out of an alcohol induced black out on a flight next to an annoyingly amorous woman(trustable treated untrustable). He discovers he’s landing in Hermosillo Sonora. MYSTERY INTRIGUE SUSPENSE

    INT – HERMOSILLO AIRPORT – LATE MORNING

    Lucky is questioned at Customs. Warned not to go to Cumaripa. Told to go back to states ASAP. He can’t book anything back for several days. He bumps into a very large man who directs outside. MIS Threat.

    Also although he’s Mexican American he can’t speak Spanish to save his life.

    INT – CAR – SAME

    Lucky’s being kidnapped by the amorous flight mate and taken to their successful family restaurant Lucky’s rave review created. MYSTERY SUSPENSE MISDIRECTION CHARACTER MIS UNTRUSTWORTHY/TRUSTWORTHY

    INT – CHILORIO VEGA – AFTERNOON

    Though Ms. Vega “mi casa su Casa’s” Lucky, he spots Cuichi Valenzuela’s picture on their celebrity photos wall. MYSTERY, MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY

    INT – CHILORIO – NIGHT

    Lucky gets an email from ALMALIBRE61 posting “come visit the Hermosillo Hilton.” The Vegas claim there is no Hilton in Hermosillo, igniting a confrontation: No Hilton, no knowledge of Cuichi, no Cumaripa information! MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY. TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE. The large Vega brother REVEALS “Hermosillo Hilton” is the nickname for the notorious HERMOSILLO JAIL. MYSTERY SUSPENSE, CHARACTER MIS

    EXT – HERMOSILLO ZOCALO – NEXT MORNING

    Lucky can’t board the jail visit bus because they have no record of Cuichi in jail. MYSTERY INTRIGUE. When Lucky asks maybe ALMALIBRE61, another bus driver pulls Lucky aside offers to take take him to visit…mañana MISDIRECTION INTRIGUE POTENTIAL TRAP TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE

    INT – CHILORIO VEGA -EVENING

    The Vegas can’t dissuade Lucky from the driver’s offer. But takes Ms Vega up on sex MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY INTRIGUE

    EXT – BACK ALLEY HERMOSILLO – DAWN

    The mystery bus driver instructs Lucky to ask to see Maria-Jose y Jesus Juarez not Antonio Valenzuela. Also designates an after visit meeting place. BIG TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE

    INT – JAIL VISITING ROOM – DAY

    Guards bring out Maria Jose y Jesus Juarez to visit Lucky…but he’s NOT CUICHI. MISDIRECTION. SUSPENSE MYSTERY INTRIGUE. Lucky stunned but resourceful fakes his way out of the Jail CHARACTER MIS. SUSPENSE, STAKES freedom, safety death

    EXT – THE JAIL WALL GATE – MINUTES LATER/DAY

    Lucky sees the SUV driving away MISDIRECTION, MYSTERY SUSPENSE, TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE, STAKES freedom, safety. Lucky somehow gets into the SUV, fights driver, but Cuichi Valenzuela (REVEAL)emerges from backseat and knocks out Lucky.MYSTERY, SUSPENSE, INTRIGUE

    INT – A MEXICAN CANTINA – DARK

    Lucky realizes he’s come to in a brothel REVEAL MYSTERY. Pimp makes him take a sex worker to one of the rooms. A commotion. Rancher Mitch Malmo staggers into the hall bleeding and collapsing into Lucky’s arms. He’s nabbed by the Federales SUSPENSE MYSTERY INTRIGUE

    INT – FEDERALES INTERROGATION – DOESN’T REALLY MATTER

    Federales preparing to torture a confession out of Lucky are interrupted by Higher-ups in a scuffle that knocks out Lucky MYSTERY SUSPENSE INTRIGUE. STAKES death

    INT – SAN CARLOS BEACH HOUSE – DAY Lucky discovers THE REAL VILLAIN – REVEAL is not Cuichi MYSTERY SUSPENSE INTRIGUE

    EXT/INT – BEACH HOUSE BALCONY – DAY

    As Lucky and The Real Villain pump each other for information we REVEAL someone else is in the beach house and in distress. MYSTERY INTRIGUE. The Real Villain attends to it. Orders Lucky to stay put on SUSPENCE STAKES Death

    INT – BEACH HOUSE – DAY

    Lucky climbs out onto a ledge overlooking the cliff to escape SUSPENSE STAKES Death. Lucky loses his footing but from inside pulls Lucky in face to face with a sickly 18:year old with narrow eyes of unmatched color REVEAL, MYSTERY, INTRIGUE, SUSPENSE

    INT – THE BOY’ S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    THE VILLAIN’S COVER UP: The boy, whom the villain calls “my son” is his lover(MISDIRECTION). The boy is trying to stop the villain’s plan. The distraction enables Lucky to grab keys and escape SUSPENSE

    EXT. – HERMOSILLO – NIGHT

    Lucky sees Chilorio Vega on fire. MYSTERY SUSPENSE INTRIGUE Ms. Vega warns Lucky the Federales are after him. Tells him to seek asylum at the Catholic Church. Instead he heads to the American Consulate MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY AGAIN

    INT – AMERICAN CONSULATE – NIGHT

    The Consulate calls the Federales on Lucky TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE SUSPENSE INTRIGUE

    EXT – BACK ALLEY – NIGHT

    Lucky seeing heavy police presence on the street hides in a dumpster. Perhaps involving helicopters

    INT – DUMPSTER – CONTINUOUS

    Lucky is trapped with rats and garbage as the dumpster is moving. MYSTERY SUSPENSE STAKES Lucky’s health, pain

    INT/EXT – DUMBSTER – AN HOUR LATER

    Lucky is pulled out of the dumpster delivered to Cuichi MIS

    EXT – DANGEROUS MOUNTAIN ROAD -NIGHT

    CUICHI makes Lucky drive as he pumps him for information about the Real Villain. SUSPENSE MYSTERY INTRIGUE. Lucky figures out what the real villain needs from Cuichi REVEAL

    EXT- ROADBLOCK – CONTINUOUS

    Because Cuichi and the armed gang boys are speaking Spanish Lucky thinks they are going to kill him MIS As one of the gang boys lead Lucky away he spits in Cuichi’s face.

    EXT – JEEP – HALF AN HOUR LATER.

    Instead of killing him, The young gang boy drives Lucky to within sight of the US Border. SUSPENSE MISDIRECTION

    EXT – FOOD CITY TUCSON AZ – A YEAR LATER – DAY

    Lucky at the butcher counter orders a pound of Chorizo. The butcher tells his unseen aid to wrap it up. The aid is Cuichi, who spits into the chorizo as he wraps it up saying,

    “We’re even now Mr. Toughie.” MYSTERY INTRIGUE MISDIRECTION

    FADE OUT

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    September 1, 2023 at 2:06 am in reply to: Lesson 14

    PETER FELIZ THRILLER MAP VERSION 2

    “BEADY EYES”

    LOGLINE: Lucky Lunes hunts for his childhood “friend” who betrayed him and bankrupted his mother in the most dangerous Mexican State: Sonora.

    THRILLER MAP VERSION 2

    INT – MORTUARY – DAY

    Musician & Food Blogger Lucky Lunes discovers his mother’s elaborate funeral was paid for by an anonymous benefactor. Mystery & Clue: an envelope postmarked CUMARIPA SONORA MX

    EXT – FUNERAL REPAST – DAY

    Rancher Mitch Malmo interrupts Lucky’s reception. Accuses Lucky of being an accomplice to the conman (and Lucky’s estranged friend, Cuichi (KWEE chee) Valenzuela, theRED HERRING)who bankrupted him AND Lucky’s mother. Mitch physically threatens Lucky. SUSPENSE INTRIGUE

    INT – BAR – NIGHT

    Lucky is drinking up enough courage to hunt down the anonymous benefactor in Sonora: Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. REVEAL The same man who Ponzi scammed Mitch Malmo and Lucky’s mother. The same man who was once Lucky’s childhood friend. HERO’S PLAN SORTA

    INT – JET FLIGHT – DAWN

    Lucky comes out of an alcohol induced black out on a flight next to an annoyingly amorous woman(trustable treated untrustable). He discovers he’s landing in Hermosillo Sonora. MYSTERY INTRIGUE SUSPENSE

    INT – HERMOSILLO AIRPORT – LATE MORNING

    Lucky is questioned at Customs. Warned not to go to Cumaripa. Told to go back to states ASAP. He can’t book anything back for several days. He bumps into a very large man who directs outside. MIS Threat.

    Also although he’s Mexican American he can’t speak Spanish to save his life.

    INT – CAR – SAME

    Lucky’s being kidnapped by the amorous flight mate and taken to their successful family restaurant Lucky’s rave review created. MYSTERY SUSPENSE MISDIRECTION CHARACTER MIS UNTRUSTWORTHY/TRUSTWORTHY

    INT – CHILORIO VEGA – AFTERNOON

    Though Ms. Vega “mi casa su Casa’s” Lucky, he spots Cuichi Valenzuela’s picture on their celebrity photos wall. MYSTERY, MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY

    INT – CHILORIO – NIGHT

    Lucky gets an email from ALMALIBRE61 posting “come visit the Hermosillo Hilton.” The Vegas claim there is no Hilton in Hermosillo, igniting a confrontation: No Hilton, no knowledge of Cuichi, no Cumaripa information! MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY. TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE. The large Vega brother REVEALS “Hermosillo Hilton” is the nickname for the notorious HERMOSILLO JAIL. MYSTERY SUSPENSE, CHARACTER MIS

    EXT – HERMOSILLO ZOCALO – NEXT MORNING

    Lucky can’t board the jail visit bus because they have no record of Cuichi in jail. MYSTERY INTRIGUE. When Lucky asks maybe ALMALIBRE61, another bus driver pulls Lucky aside offers to take take him to visit…mañana MISDIRECTION INTRIGUE POTENTIAL TRAP TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE

    INT – CHILORIO VEGA -EVENING

    The Vegas can’t dissuade Lucky from the driver’s offer. But takes Ms Vega up on sex MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY INTRIGUE

    EXT – BACK ALLEY HERMOSILLO – DAWN

    The mystery bus driver instructs Lucky to ask to see Maria-Jose y Jesus Juarez not Antonio Valenzuela. Also designates an after visit meeting place. BIG TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE

    INT – JAIL VISITING ROOM – DAY

    Guards bring out Maria Jose y Jesus Juarez to visit Lucky…but he’s NOT CUICHI. MISDIRECTION. SUSPENSE MYSTERY INTRIGUE. Lucky stunned but resourceful fakes his way out of the Jail CHARACTER MIS. SUSPENSE, STAKES freedom, safety death

    EXT – THE JAIL WALL GATE – MINUTES LATER/DAY

    Lucky sees the SUV driving away MISDIRECTION, MYSTERY SUSPENSE, TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE, STAKES freedom, safety. Lucky somehow gets into the SUV, fights driver, but Cuichi Valenzuela (REVEAL)emerges from backseat and knocks out Lucky.MYSTERY, SUSPENSE, INTRIGUE

    INT – A MEXICAN CANTINA – DARK

    Lucky realizes he’s come to in a brothel REVEAL MYSTERY. Pimp makes him take a sex worker to one of the rooms. A commotion. Rancher Mitch Malmo staggers into the hall bleeding and collapsing into Lucky’s arms. He’s nabbed by the Federales SUSPENSE MYSTERY INTRIGUE

    INT – FEDERALES INTERROGATION – DOESN’T REALLY MATTER

    Federales preparing to torture a confession out of Lucky are interrupted by Higher-ups in a scuffle that knocks out Lucky MYSTERY SUSPENSE INTRIGUE. STAKES death

    INT – SAN CARLOS BEACH HOUSE – DAY Lucky discovers THE REAL VILLAIN – REVEAL is not Cuichi MYSTERY SUSPENSE INTRIGUE

    EXT/INT – BEACH HOUSE BALCONY – DAY

    As Lucky and The Real Villain pump each other for information we REVEAL someone else is in the beach house and in distress. MYSTERY INTRIGUE. The Real Villain attends to it. Orders Lucky to stay put on SUSPENCE STAKES Death

    INT – BEACH HOUSE – DAY

    Lucky climbs out onto a ledge overlooking the cliff to escape SUSPENSE STAKES Death. Lucky loses his footing but from inside pulls Lucky in face to face with a sickly 18:year old with narrow eyes of unmatched color REVEAL, MYSTERY, INTRIGUE, SUSPENSE

    INT – THE BOY’ S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    THE VILLAIN’S COVER UP: The boy, whom the villain calls “my son” is his lover(MISDIRECTION). The boy is trying to stop the villain’s plan. The distraction enables Lucky to grab keys and escape SUSPENSE

    EXT. – HERMOSILLO – NIGHT

    Lucky sees Chilorio Vega on fire. MYSTERY SUSPENSE INTRIGUE Ms. Vega warns Lucky the Federales are after him. Tells him to seek asylum at the Catholic Church. Instead he heads to the American Consulate MISTRUST THE TRUSTWORTHY AGAIN

    INT – AMERICAN CONSULATE – NIGHT

    The Consulate calls the Federales on Lucky TRUST THE UNTRUSTABLE SUSPENSE INTRIGUE

    EXT – BACK ALLEY – NIGHT

    Lucky seeing heavy police presence on the street hides in a dumpster. Perhaps involving helicopters

    INT – DUMPSTER – CONTINUOUS

    Lucky is trapped with rats and garbage as the dumpster is moving. MYSTERY SUSPENSE STAKES Lucky’s health, pain

    INT/EXT – DUMBSTER – AN HOUR LATER

    Lucky is pulled out of the dumpster delivered to Cuichi MIS

    EXT – DANGEROUS MOUNTAIN ROAD -NIGHT

    CUICHI makes Lucky drive as he pumps him for information about the Real Villain. SUSPENSE MYSTERY INTRIGUE. Lucky figures out what the real villain needs from Cuichi REVEAL

    EXT- ROADBLOCK – CONTINUOUS

    Because Cuichi and the armed gang boys are speaking Spanish Lucky thinks they are going to kill him MIS As one of the gang boys lead Lucky away he spits in Cuichi’s face.

    EXT – JEEP – HALF AN HOUR LATER.

    Instead of killing him, The young gang boy drives Lucky to within sight of the US Border. SUSPENSE MISDIRECTION

    EXT – FOOD CITY TUCSON AZ – A YEAR LATER – DAY

    Lucky at the butcher counter orders a pound of Chorizo. The butcher tells his unseen aid to wrap it up. The aid is Cuichi, who spits into the chorizo as he wraps it up saying,

    We’re even now Mr. Toughie.” MYSTERY INTRIGUE MISDIRECTION

    FADE OUT

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 30, 2023 at 2:57 pm in reply to: Lesson 14

    PETER FELIZ THRILLER MAP VERSION 1 (INCOMPLETE) PART ONE REFORMAT<div>
    </div><div>What I learned today: First sorry for the incomplete I had to make an emergency trip to Minnesota. ALSO REFORMATING</div><div>
    </div><div>Second, no matter how much my writing makes me cringe just plow through and it does improve. The Mystery, intrigue suspense reveals does open up my imagination</div><div>
    </div><div>THRILLER DAY 14</div><div>
    </div><div>INT. – MORTUARY OFFICE – DAY</div><div></div><div>
    </div>

    Charles “Lucky” Lunes is rattling off excuses for writing a bad check for his mother’s funeral to the unmoved mortician. Instead of dunning Lucky the mortician tells him an anonymous benefactor paid for the funeral.

    The only clue as who the benefactor is: The envelope with the money & burial instructions is postmarked CUMARIPA SONORA MX

    <div>EXT – FUNERAL REPAST – DAY</div>

    <div>Rancher Mitch Malmo interrupts Lucky’s reception. Accuses Lucy of being an accomplice to the conman(and Lucky’s estranged friend) who bankrupted him. Mitch physically threatens Lucky</div><div>
    </div>

    INT ,- BAR – NIGHT

    <div>Lucky is drinking up enough courage to hunt down the anonymous benefactor in Sonora: Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. The same man who Ponzi scammed Mitch Malmo and Lucky’s mother. The same man who was once Lucky’s childhood friend.</div><div>
    </div>

    INT – JET FLIGHT – DAWN

    <div>Lucky comes out of an alcoholic blackout seated next to an amorous woman babbling on about her “hicker-restomy.” He realizes his worst fear to date; He’s flying to Sonora perhaps without money or a passport. And he can’t speak Spanish to save his life.</div>

    <div>INT – HERMOSILLO AIRPORT – LATE MORNING </div>


    Lucky at the Luggage carousel hoping he packed well for his surprise trip. He only packed his concertina.

    <div>At Customs Lucky is called aside because he wants to know how to get to Cumaripa. The agents “strongly advise” Lucky to return to states immediately. </div><div>
    </div>

    At the ticket counter Lucky doesn’t have enough money to book a flight back immediately. Lucky sees the amorous “hicker-restomy” woman from his flight. He runs outside and bumps into a very large Mexican man…</div><div>

    <div>…who is the “hicker-restomy woman ‘s brother. She insists on giving him a ride</div><div></div><div>
    </div>

    INT – CAR – CONTINUOUS

    <div>Lucky asks them to drive him to a food cart (CHILORIO VEGA) near the bus station he raved about in one of his past blogs (He had been to Hermosillo once before). The Hicker-restomy Woman asks if he writes Lucky’s Chuck Wagon.</div>

    <div>Lucky sees they are driving past the bus station. The Hicker-restomy Woman says the cart closed down.</div><div>
    </div>

    Lucky’s being kidnapped and taken to the storefront of a small but bustling restaurant: Chilorio Vega owned by Miss Hicker-restomy’s family.

    <div>INT – CHILORIO VEGA – AFTERNOON</div>


    The Vegas have “Mi casa, su casa” Lucky. He’s surprised to learn that they close early to avoid the drug gang violence. Also surprising among the celeb pictures that line their walls is Cuichi Valenzuela’s picture.</div><div>

    <div>INT – CHILORIO – NIGHT</div>


    Outside sounds like a battle zone. But inside Lucky is updating his blog and avoiding Ms. Hicker-restomy’s advances. He notices an email from ALMALIBRE61 saying “Come visit the Hermosillo Hilton!”

    <div>The Vegas tell Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo. He accuses them of evasiveness. The large Vega brother blurts out that the max jail outside of Hermosillo is nicknamed THE HERMOSILLO HILTON </div>

    <div>EXT – HERMOSILLO ZOCALO – MORNING </div>

    Lucky can’t board the Jail Visitor’s Bus because the bus agent has no record of an Antonio Valenzuela currently incarcerated.

    Another bus agent overhears Lucky blurts out ALMALIBRE61. He offers to drive Lucky to the jail…mañana.


    INT – CHILORIO VEGA – EVENING

    The Vegas try to dissuade Lucky from visiting Cuichi. This is one of those don’t trust whom you should trust moments. Particularly since Cuichi’s picture is on their wall.

    But Lucky takes Ms Vega up on her sex offer.

    EXT – BACK ALLEY HERMOSILLO – DAWN

    A very bruised Lucky (maybe caught corpus delecti by one of the Vega Brothers) meets the mysterious bus driver. Lucky is uneasy because the vehicle they are taking to the jail is an old SUV not a jail bus.

    Once again against his better judgment Lucky gets into the SUV. On the way to the jail, the bus driver instructs Lucky to ask to see Maria-Jose Jesus Juarez. He also tells Lucky where to meet him after the visit.

    INT – JAIL VISITING ROOM – DAY

    Guards bring out convict to visit Lucky. But it is not Cuichi Valenzuela!

    Sending a trap Lucky plays along with the ruse to a point. He tells the Bogus Cuichi in his best broken Spanish that he’s sorry but the mother kills. He pretends to be all choked up and gets out of the jail as fast as he can without arousing suspicion.

    EXT – THE JAIL WALL GATE – MINUTES LATER/DAY

    Lucky seas that the SUV is not at the designated meeting place. He looks around and spots it down the road. He runs to it and gets in before it can drive away.

    Sirens go off at the jail. Lucky and the driver fight. Someone hiding on the backseat floor knocks Lucky unconscious. It’s Cuichi.

    INT – A MEXICAN CANTINA – DARK

    Lucky wakes up bleary eyed tries to get his bearings. Lucky is not in a cantina. He’s in a brothel! In Nogales…175 miles from Hermosillo! Lucky tries to leave but a pimp insists he accepts one of the young ladies…or boys courtesy of a ominous (anonymous) benefactor.

    As Lucky accompanies one of the girls to a bedroom he sees a picture on a wall that looks like Cuichi. Suddenly he hears a scream and sees a man staggering out of a bedroom.

    It’s the bogus bus driver. Lucky grabs him realizing too late that the driver’s been stabbed and is bleeding all over Lucky.

    The prostitutes and pimps accuse Lucky of the assault. Lucky is cornered by the Federales.


    INT – FEDERALES INTERROGATION – DOESN’T REALLY MATTER

    Two Federales agents are going to “make the elephant say it’s the white rabbit” on Lucky with a water bucket, a 12 volt battery and jumper cables.

    Two “Higher-ups” stop the torture and take Lucky into their custody. They have a heated exchange with the Federales that escalates into the Federales getting electrocuted.

    In the excitement Lucky gets a dose of electricity. Knocked out again.

    INT – SAN CARLOS BEACH HOUSE – DAY

    Lucky comes to. He follows an IRoomba doing a cleaning round throughout the living room. He doesn’t notice a TV doing a Spanish language infomercial until…. It’s Cuichi hosting the infomercial about Cumaripa.

    The Roomba is banging on the locked bathroom door. Lucky hears the voice from inside yelling “Cãllete!” Lucky yells, “Fuck you Cuichi!”. The toilet flushes off camera.

    Emerging from the bathroom is NOT CUICHI! It’s the real villain

    EXT/INT – BEACH HOUSE BALCONY – DAY

    As the Real Villain (Jorge Calvazos) shows Lucky the beach scape, the Roomba runs off the balcony crashing onto the cliff. Calvazos interrogates Lucky about Cuichi, the man he knows as Maria-Jose y Jesus Juarez.

    Calvazos insists Lucky eats an elaborate meal he has set out for him. Calvazos cannot eat because of severe IBS.

    Lucky expresses fear he will die. Calvazos becomes insulted. As the meal gets heated and the questions about Cuichi become more pointed someone yells from elsewhere in the house.I

    NT – BEACH HOUSE – DAY

    Calvazos orders Lucky to stay put as he addresses the yell from elsewhere in the beach house. Lucky is paralyzed at the meal table by the yelling in the house.

    He drinks up enough courage to get to the balcony and onto a ledge to escape. Lucky edges his way to what he realizes is where the yelling is coming from.

    He loses his footing, but before he falls, a hand grabs him and pulls him in where they meet face to face: a sickly eighteen year old with beady unmatched colored eyes…

    INT – THE BOY’ S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    The boy asks Calvazos “Is he the one?” pointing to Lucky. Lucky notices the room looks like an ICU room. The boy sobs in Calvazos’ arms. Calvazos threatens Lucky. The boy protests”Don’t! I don’t wanna live like this. I wanna die clean!”

    Calvazos throw Lucky the front door keys and orders him to find Cuichi. Lucky runs out of the beach house

    EXT. – HERMOSILLO – NIGHT

    Lucky taking a chance to escape Sonora goes back to Chilorio Vega to get his passport and things. But he sees the restaurant on fire. Ms. Vega tells Lucky to run to the American Consulate

    INT – AMERICAN CONSULATE – NIGHT

    Lucky has told a very sympathetic agent his story. She asks him to wait while she speaks to a supervisor. Lucky notices she’s contacted the Federales. Lucky sneaks out of the consulate.

    EXT – BACK ALLEY – NIGHT

    Lucky seeing heavy police presence on the street hides in a dumpster.

    INT – DUMPSTER – CONTINUOUS

    Lucky feels the dumpster moving. It’s been hitched up and is traveling fast enough to further jostle Lucky amongst the garbage and rats.

    INT/EXT – DUMBSTER – AN HOUR LATER

    The dumpster has stopped moving. The dumpster lid is pulled open. Two teenage gang members pull Lucky out and drag him to an idling Jeep Cherokee. Inside the Cherokee is Cuichi Valenzuela, who tells him “You drive, Mr. Toughie”

    EXT – DANGEROUS MOUNTAIN ROAD -NIGHT

    Lucky and Cuichi are trapped behind an exhaust spewing VW Bus. Cuichi interrogates Lucky about Calvazos. Lucky tries to get on Cuichi’s better side by comparing sexual exploits. During the conversation Cuichi mentions a mistress he impregnated who got an abortion. Lucky pieces things together as they are finally able to pass the VW bus.

    He tell Cuichi that Cuichi has an eighteen year old son who’s very sick and needs some sort of transplant.

    The Jeep hits a roadblock policed by teenage gang boys

    EXT- ROADBLOCK – CONTINUOUS

    Cuichi clearly angry at Lucky have the gang rough him up. Lucky blurts out that Calvazos “boy” has unmatched colored beady eyes.

    It’s like a lightening bolt to Cuichi. He orders one of the boys to drive Lucky away.

    Lucky thinking he’s going for a final ride spits in Cuichi’s face.

    EXT – JEEP – HALF AN HOUR LATER.

    THe young thug orders Lucky out of the Jeep. The thug points to a cleaning. At the end of the clearing is a border crossing station. Lucky tells The thug he doesn’t have a passport. The thug says “Buenas suarte,” and drives away

    EXT – FOOD CITY TUCSON AZ – A YEAR LATER – DAY

    LUcky at the butcher counter orders a pound of Chorizo. The butcher tells his unseen aid to wrap it up.

    The aid is Cuichi, who spits into the chorizo as he wraps it up saying, ” We’re even now Mr. Toughie.”

    FADE OUT

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 30, 2023 at 3:37 am in reply to: Lesson 14

    <div>PETER FELIZ THRILLER MAP VERSION 1 (INCOMPLETE)</div>

    What I learned today: First sorry for the incomplete I had to make an emergency trip to Minnesota.

    Second, no matter how much my writing makes me cringe just plow through and it does improve. The Mystery, intrigue suspense reveals does open up my imagination

    THRILLER DAY 14

    <div>INT. – MORTUARY OFFICE – DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>Charles “Lucky” Lunes is rattling off excuses for writing a bad check for his mother’s funeral to the unmoved mortician. Instead of dunning Lucky the mortician tells him an anonymous benefactor paid for the funeral. </div><div>The only clue as who the benefactor is: The envelope with the money & burial instructions is postmarked CUMARIPA SONORA MX</div><div>
    </div><div>EXT – FUNERAL REPAST – DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>Rancher Mitch Malmo interrupts Lucky’s reception. Accuses Lucy of being an accomplice to the conman(and Lucky’s estranged friend) who bankrupted him. Mitch physically threatens Lucky.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT ,- BAR – NIGHT</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky is drinking up enough courage to hunt down the anonymous benefactor in Sonora: Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. The same man who Ponzi scammed Mitch Malmo and Lucky’s mother. The same man who was once Lucky’s childhood friend.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – JET FLIGHT – DAWN</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky comes out of an alcoholic blackout seated next to an amorous woman babbling on about her “hicker-restomy.” He realizes his worst fear to date; He’s flying to Sonora perhaps without money or a passport. And he can’t speak Spanish to save his life</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – HERMOSILLO AIRPORT – LATE MORNING </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky at the Luggage carousel hoping he packed well for his surprise trip. He only packed his concertina. </div><div>
    </div><div>At Customers Lucky is called aside because he wants to know how to get to Cumaripa. The agents “strongly advise” Lucky to return to states immediately. </div><div>
    </div><div>At the ticket counter Lucky doesn’t have enough money to book a flight back immediately. Lucky sees the amorous “hicker-restomy” woman from his flight. He runs outside and bumps into a very large Mexican man…</div><div>
    </div><div>…who is the “hicker-restomy woman ‘s brother. She insists on giving him a ride</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – CAR – SAME</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky asks them to drive him to a food cart (CHILORIO VEGA) near the bus station he raved about in one of his past blogs (He had been to Hermosillo once before). The Hicker-restomy Woman asks if he writes Lucky’s Chuck Wagon.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky sees they are driving past the bus station. The Hicker-restomy Woman says the cart closed down.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky’s being kidnapped and taken to the storefront of a small but bustling restaurant: Chilorio Vega owned by Miss Hicker-restomy’s family.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – CHILORIO VEGA – AFTERNOON</div><div>
    </div><div>The Vegas have “Mi casa, su casa” Lucky. He’s surprised to learn that they close early to avoid the drug gang violence. Also surprising among the celeb pictures that line their walls is Cuichi Valenzuela’s picture.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – CHILORIO – NIGHT</div><div>
    </div><div>Outside sounds like a battle zone. But inside Lucky is updating his blog and avoiding Ms. Hicker-restomy’s advances. He notices an email from ALMALIBRE61 saying “Come visit the Hermosillo Hilton!”</div><div>
    </div><div>The Vegas tell Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo. He accuses them of evasiveness. The large Vega brother blurts out that the max jail outside of Hermosillo is nicknamed THE HERMOSILLO HILTON </div><div>
    </div><div>EXT – HERMOSILLO ZOCALO – NEXT MORNING</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky can’t board the Jail Visitor’s Bus because the bus agent has no record of an Antonio Valenzuela currently incarcerated. Another bus agent overhears Lucky blurts out ALMALIBRE61. He offers to drive Lucky to the jail…mañana.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – CHILORIO VEGA – EVENING</div><div>
    </div><div>The Vegas try to dissuade Lucky from visiting Cuichi. This is one of those don’t trust whom you should trust moments. Particularly since Cuichi’s picture is on their wall.</div><div>
    </div><div>But Lucky takes Ms Vega up on her sex offer.</div><div>
    </div><div>EXT – BACK ALLEY HERMOSILLO – DAWN</div><div>
    </div><div>A very bruised Lucky (maybe caught corpus delecti by one of the Vega Brothers) meets the mysterious bus driver. Lucky is uneasy because the vehicle they are taking to the jail is an old SUV not a jail bus. Once again against his better judgment Lucky gets into the SUV.</div><div>
    </div><div>On the way to the jail, the bus driver instructs Lucky to ask to see Maria-Jose Jesus Juarez. He also tells Lucky where to meet him after the visit.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – JAIL VISITING ROOM – DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>Guards bring out convict to visit Lucky. But it is not Cuichi Valenzuela!</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky goes along with the ruse to a point. He tells the Bogus Cuichi in his best broken Spanish that he’s sorry but the mother kills. He pretends to be all choked up and gets out of the jail as fast as he can without arousing suspicion. </div><div>
    </div><div>EXT – THE JAIL WALL GATE – MINUTES LATER/DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky seas that the SUV is not at the designated meeting place. He looks around and spots it down the road. He runs to it and gets in before it can drive away. </div><div>
    </div><div>Meanwhile sirens go off at the jail.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky and the driver fight.</div><div>
    </div><div>Someone hiding on the backseat floor knocks Lucky unconscious.</div><div>
    </div><div>It’s Cuichi.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – A MEXICAN CANTINA – DARK </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky wakes up bleary eyed tries to get his bearings. </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky is not in a cantina. He’s in a brothel! In Nogales…175 miles from Hermosillo! </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky tries to leave but a pimp insists he accepts one of the young ladies…or boys courtesy of a ominous (anonymous) benefactor.</div><div>
    </div><div>As Lucky accompanies one of the girls to a bedroom he sees a picture on a wall that looks like Cuichi. Suddenly he hears a scream and sees a man staggering out of a bedroom. </div><div>
    </div><div>It’s the bogus bus driver. Lucky grabs him realizing too late that the driver’s been stabbed and is bleeding all over Lucky.</div><div>
    </div><div>The prostitutes and pimps accuse Lucky of the assault. Lucky is cornered by the Federales.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – FEDERALES INTERROGATION – DOESN’T REALLY MATTER</div><div>
    </div><div>Two Federales agents are going to “make the elephant say it’s the white rabbit” on Lucky with a water bucket, a 12 volt battery and jumper cables.</div><div>
    </div><div>Two “Higher-ups” stop the torture and take Lucky into their custody. They have a heated exchange with the Federales that escalates into the Federales getting electrocuted. </div><div>
    </div><div>In the excitement Lucky gets a dose of electricity. Knocked out again.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – SAN CARLOS BEACH HOUSE – DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky comes to. He follows an IRoomba doing a cleaning round throughout the living room. He doesn’t notice a TV doing a Spanish language infomercial until…</div><div>
    </div><div>It’s Cuichi hosting the infomercial about Cumaripa.</div><div>
    </div><div>The Roomba is banging on the locked bathroom door.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky hears the voice from inside yelling “Cãllete!” </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky yells, “Fuck you Cuichi!”</div><div>
    </div><div>The toilet flushes off camera.</div><div>
    </div><div>Emerging from the bathroom is NOT CUICHI! It’s the real villain </div><div>
    </div><div>EXT/INT – BEACH HOUSE BALCONY – DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>As the Real Villain (Jorge Calvazos) shows Lucky the beach scape, the Roomba runs off the balcony crashing onto the cliff. Calvazos interrogates Lucky about Cuichi, the man he knows as Maria-Jose y Jesus Juarez.</div><div>
    </div><div>Calvazos insists Lucky eats an elaborate meal he has set out for him. Calvazos cannot eat because of severe IBS</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky expresses fear he will die. Calvazos becomes insulted. As the meal gets heated and the questions about Cuichi become more pointed someone yells from elsewhere in the house.</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – BEACH HOUSE – DAY</div><div>
    </div><div>Calvazos orders Lucky to stay put as he addresses the yell from elsewhere in the beach house.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky is paralyzed at the meal table by the yelling in the house. He drinks up enough courage to get to the balcony and onto a ledge to escape.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky edges his way to what he realizes is where the yelling is coming from. He loses his footing, but before he falls, a hand grabs him and pulls him in where they meet face to face: a sickly eighteen year old with beady unmatched colored eyes…</div><div>
    </div><div>INT – THE BOY’ S ROOM – CONTINUOUS</div><div>
    </div><div>The boy asks Calvazos “Is he the one?” pointing to Lucky. Lucky notices the room looks like an ICU room. The boy sobs in Calvazos’ arms. Calvazos threatens Lucky. The boy protests”Don’t! I don’t wanna live like this. I wanna die clean!” </div><div>
    </div><div>Calvazos throw Lucky the front door keys and orders him to find Cuichi. Lucky runs out of the beach house</div><div>
    </div><div>EXT. – HERMOSILLO/BURNED OUT CHILORIO VEGA – NIGHT </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 26, 2023 at 11:13 pm in reply to: Lesson 13

    PETER FELIZ: MISDIRECTS WHEN APPROPRIATE

    What I learned today: perhaps I am heavy handing the misdirects. Don’t care yet will trim later

    A. Clue Misdirection. Cuichi’s email requests Lucky to visit him at “The Hermosillo Hilton” Not the hotel but the jail

    B. Character Misdirection..

    1. At the Hermosillo Jail an Imposter is brought out instead of Cuichi Valenzuela

    2. The beach house owner is NOT Cuichi Valenzuela but the real villain

    3. Cuichi uses 2 aliases: In Cumaripa he’s “Maria-Jose Jesus Juarez; in the Hermosillo jail he’s ALMALIBRE61

    4. Prison bus driver is really Cuichi’s getaway driver

    C. Dialogue Misdirection. The real villain refers to his lover as “my son” or “my boy” (mi hito)

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 24, 2023 at 7:54 pm in reply to: Lesson 12

    Thriller day 12: Engaging Clues
    <div>
    </div><div>PETER FELIZ: ENGAGING CLUES. </div>

    WHAT I LEARNED TODAY: I’m beginning to fill in my script potholes, but creating new ones

    “BEADY EYES”

    I. MYSTERY . Who paid the medical and funeral expenses for Lucky Lunes ‘s mother?

    END RESULT: Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s estranged friend and con man who cheated Lucky’s mother wants Lucky out of his way.

    CLUES.

    1. Funeral Director is unconcerned about Lucky incurring funeral debt. Why?

    2. Mortician assures Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid the debt.

    3. He hands Lucky the empty envelope the funds and instructions came in. It’s postmarked Cumaripa Sonora MX.

    4. Lucky remembers Cuichi was born in Cumaripa.

    II. MYSTERY: What has happened, is happening and will happen in Cumaripa

    END RESULT: Red Herring .The real villain had Cuichi arrested and needs Cuichi alive to save his “boy.”

    CLUES

    1. No one in Hermosillo wants to take Lucky to Cumaripa

    2. While with newfound friends, Lucky discovers an email from FREESOUL61 “Visit the Hermosillo Hilton”

    3. Lucky Googles “Cumaripa.” A poorly translated newspaper article vaguely reports of police action in Cumaripa. Cuichi is among those in A photo of the arrested but identified as Maria-Jose Jesus Juarez.

    4. Lucky unwittingly aids Cuichi’s escape from jail.

    5.The Federales nab Lucky. But before the can torture a confession from him, Lucky is kidnapped by a couple of thugs and taken to the real villain.

    III. MYSTERY: What does the Real Villain need from Lucky?

    <div>CLUES: </div>

    1. The Real Villain shows Lucky a few of the ways Lucky can “disappear”

    2. The Real Villain is a tremendously popular Sonoran politico.

    3. The Real Villain feeds Lucky an elaborate meal he himself cannot eat due to his IBS

    4. The Real Villain is beginning to consider Lucky as valuable bait to lure Cuichi.

    IV. MYSTERY Who is the other person in the house with Lucky and the Real Villain.

    END RESULT: The Real Villain has a male lover in need of a bone marrow transplant

    CLUES:

    1. Lucky hears the familiar sound of life support equipment coming from a nearby room.

    2. Before the Real Villain can kill Lucky the sick person in the other stops this.

    3. The Real Villain will do anything this sick boy wants.

    MYSTERY: Who is this sick boy?

    END RESULT: The boy is Cuichi Valenzuela’s illegitimate son

    CLUES:

    1. Lucky notices the boy’s eyes are as beady as Cuichi’s

    2. Cuichi had a past mistress he impregnated…but who aborted

    3. The boy has one brown eye and one blue.

    4. So did Cuichi’s mother…typo I meant Cuichi’s mistress but it’s an interesting alternative

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 23, 2023 at 2:32 pm in reply to: Lesson 11

    <div>
    </div><div>PETER FELIZ DRAMATIC REVEALS ASSIGNMENT: (AMENDED) What I learned is </div><div>THIS is a GREAT brainstorming tool for making the implausible and the hokey appear possibly…Also helped me find alternatives for dialogue for reveals. I’m only doing it for this beat now because of time constraints and this is the most hokey beat of my project. Still hokey but it has more potential now</div>

    <div>DURING BEAT #11: ALL IS LOST BEAT</div><div>REVEAL #1.</div><div>A. Lucky wakes up in the beach house of the REAL VILLAIN.</div><div>B. The real villain is a “reputable and popular Mexican politician hiding sexual secrets</div><div>C. mystery The beach seems abandoned except for an annoying robo vac on a cleaning run</div><div>INTRIGUE The beach house sits on a cliff. No one around</div><div>SUSPENSE But the living room TV suddenly turns on. Lucky believes he’s in Cuichi’s beach house. Until the real villain suffering a bout of IBS emerges from the bathroom</div><div>
    </div><div>REVEAL #2</div><div>
    </div><div>A. Lucky learns Cuichi was engineering a political uprising from Cumaripa </div>

    B. Cuichi was just a disposable political to the Real Villain. Now the Real Villain considers Lucky a disposable enemy

    <div>C. INTRIGUE Lucky sees a Spanish language infomercial starring Cuichi as Maria Jose y Jesus Tito.</div><div>MYSTERY Why is Cuichi using an alias? What is the English translation of the infomercial?</div><div>SUSPENSE: The infomercial agitates The REAL VILLAIN to near violence</div><div>
    </div><div>REVEAL #3</div><div>A.The Real villain no longer wants Cuichi dead. He needs Cuichi alive. </div>

    B. The real villain needs Cuichi to keep his secret lover alive

    C. SUSPENSE: THE REAL VILLAIN makes clear his harmful intentions towards Lucky.

    <div>MYSTERY Yet he feeds Lucky an elaborate lunch</div><div>INTRIGUE: THE REAL VILLAIN seems to know a lot about Lucky</div><div>
    </div><div>REVEAL #4</div>

    A. The real villain knows nothing about Cuichi’s past.

    B. The Real Villain needs to quietly capture and detain Cuichi

    C. MYSTERY Why?

    <div>INTRIGUE The real villain is finding Lucky a valuable information tool re: Cuichi</div>

    <div>DURING BEAT #12: DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL</div>

    <div>REVEAL #1. A. Lucky Learns that the real villain has a male lover who needs a bone marrow transplant. </div>

    B. The Real Villain desperately quietly loves “his boy”

    <div>C. MYSTERY During their lunch Lucky hears a sound familiar to him. There is someone else in the house besides Lucky, The villain and the domestic</div><div>MYSTERY What does the lover have to do with all this</div><div>SUSPENSE THE REAL VILLAIN will kill Lucky’s curiosity</div><div>INTRIGUE The villain is hiding his lover</div><div>
    </div><div>REVEAL #2 </div>

    A. The Real Villain’s lover doesn’t want the transplant. He wants to die clean!

    B. The Real Villain is going to force the operation on “his boy” anyway

    <div>SUSPENSE An argument is escalated between the villain and his lover</div><div>INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN won’t have Lucky “disappeared.” Yet.</div><div>MYSTERY Why?</div>

    INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN knows Lucky will lure Cuichi

    <div>
    </div><div>REVEAL #3 </div>

    A. The villain’s lover and Cuichi are related (subject for further development) possibly father and son.

    <div>B. Lucky sees something unusual about the lover’s appearance he can’t figure out </div>

    C.INTRIGUE Something of the boy reminds him of Cuichi.

    MYSTERY What is it about the boy that reminds him of Cuichi?

    <div>
    </div><div>REVEAL #4 LUCKY ESCAPES THE REAL VILLAIN</div><div>A. Lucky discovers Chilorio Vega burning down </div>

    B. The Federales in an act of vengeance against Lucky/Cuichi/aThe real villain burn down Chilorio Vega

    C.MYSTERY Who and why? INTRIGUE The Federales raided it searching for Lucky. Caused fire as collateral damage SUSPENSE The FEDERALES are closing in on Lucky. A gas explosion from the fire effects Lucky’s escape. SUSPENSE Lucky’s passport is destroyed in the fire INTRIGUE Lucky is trapped in Mexico now.

    REVEAL #5 A. Santos C. Vega Jr. & his sister try to hide Lucky in a dumpster.

    B. Even though they are destitute, the Vegas are loyal to Lucky

    C. MYSTERY The dumpster is hitched to a truck. Where is the truck taking Lucky?

    SUSPENSE Every time the truck stops Lucky could be caught. The dumpster is rat infested

    <div>INTRIGUE The dumpster is abandoned </div>

    MYSTERY Where? Why?

    SUSPENSE Is it safe? Is it safe? It’s dark.

    BEAT #13 DURING BREAK INTO 3

    REVEAL #1 Cuichi is Lucky dumpster ride destination

    B. Cuichi convinced the Vegas he is Lucky’s salvation.

    C. MYSTERY What happened to Santos C Vega Jr and his sister?

    INTRIGUE Cuichi needs to find out what transpired between Lucky and the Real Villain

    SUSPENSE Cuichi is aiming a gun at Lucky and demanding Lucky get into a getaway Jeep Cherokee. The Jeep’s “check engine light” is flashing

    MYSTERY Where is Cuichi taking Lucky?

    REVEAL #2

    A. Lucky figures out Cuichi is a bone marrow match for his illegitimate son

    B. Lucky will do or say anything now to save his own skin

    INTRIGUE But Cuichi doesn’t believe that. Instead believes Lucky is betraying him to the Real Villain. MYSTERY Did Lucky betray Cuichi? SUSPENSE They are traveling on a narrow mountain road at night

    SUSPENSE They are stuck behind an unmuffled, exhaust spewing VW Bus.

    MYSTERY Are they both in a trap?

    REVEAL #3 ROADBLOCK

    A. IT IS THE END OF THE ROAD FOR LUCKY AND CUICHI MYSTERY

    B. 3 military rifle toting teenagers block the road. They work for Cuichi. They are to kill Lucky on Cuichi’s order

    C. SUSPENSE they aim and ready their rifles at Lucky.

    DURING BEAT #14 FINALE REVEAL #1

    A. The teens are part of Cuichi’s army

    B. They will execute Lucky on Cuichi’s say so.

    C.MYSTERY what will the do to Lucky? SUSPENSE Will Cuichi have the boys kill Lucky?

    REVEAL #2

    A. Lucky says the Real Villain’s lover has beady eyes like Cuichi except one is black and one is green.

    B. This is what convinces Cuichi that Lucky’s not lying about the Real Villain’s lover

    C. SUSPENSE Will the boys kill Lucky MYSTERY Why is Cuichi startled? Why does Cuichi pauses Lucky’s execution?

    INTRIGUE Cuichi’s old mistress had unmatched eye color.

    REVEAL #3

    A.Cuichi orders one of the boys to escort Lucky to the border in Spanish.

    B. Cuichi is a sociopath, but not a murderous one

    C.INTRIGUE Lucky thinks Cuichi is having him killed spits in Cuichi’s s face.

    MYSTERY Where is Lucky going?

    SUSPENSE The boy may kill Lucky

    REVEAL #4 A.Near the border the boy gives Lucky back his passport

    B. The teenager is no murderer either.

    C.MYSTERY WTF.

    INTRIGUE Lucky is ordered to cross the border SUSPENSE Will Lucky make it across.

    DURING BEAT #15 FINAL IMAGE REVEAL #1

    A. Two Years later Lucky is shopping at the Food City Mexican Megamarket where Cuichi is now working

    B. Unbeknownst to Lucky

    C. MYSTERY Who is the butcher’s aid prepping Lucky’s order

    SUSPENSE The butcher’s aid (hidden from Lucky spits on Lucky ‘s order before wrapping it

    INTRIGUE The aid (blond headed Cuichi) gets the last word muttering “We’re even now, Mr. Toughie…”

    <div>Cross our fingers the formatting works</div><div>
    </div><div>© 2023 – Screenwriting classes</div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 22, 2023 at 5:07 pm in reply to: Lesson 11

    PETER FELIZ DRAMATIC REVEALS ASSIGNMENT: What I learned is <div>

    THIS is a GREAT brainstorming tool for making the implausible and the hokey appear possibly…Also helped me find alternatives for dialogue for reveals. I’m only doing it for this beat now because of time constraints and this is the most hokey beat of my project. Still hokey but it has more potential now

    <div>1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience. </div>

    REVEAL #1.

    A. Lucky wakes up in the beach house of the REAL VILLAIN.

    B. The real villain is a “reputable and popular Mexican politician hiding sexual secrets

    C. Mystery The beach seems abandoned except for an annoying robo vac on a cleaning run

    INTRIGUE The beachouse sits on a cliff. No one around

    SUSPENSE But the living room TV suddenly turns on. Lucky believes he’s in Cuichi’s beach house. Until the real villain suffering a bout of IBS emerges from the bathroom

    REVEAL #2

    A. Lucky learns Cuichi was engineering a political uprising from Cumaripa

    INTRIGUE Lucky sees a Spanish language infomercial starring Cuichi as Maria Jose y Jesus Tito.

    MYSTERY Why is Cuichi using an alias? What is the English translation of the infomercial?

    SUSPENSE: The infomercial agitates The REAL VILLAIN to near violence

    REVEAL #3

    A.The Real villain no longer wants Cuichi dead. He wants alive

    SUSPENSE: THE REAL VILLAIN makes clear his harmful intentions towards Lucky.

    MYSTERY Yet he feeds Lucky an elaborate lunch

    INTRIGUE: THE REAL VILLAIN seems to know a lot about Lucky

    REVEAL #4 The real villain knows nothing about Cuichi’s past

    MYSTERY WHy?

    INTRIGUE The real villain is finding Lucky a valuable information tool re: Cuichi

    REVEAL #5

    Lucky Learns that the real villain has a male lover who needs a bone marrow transplant

    MYSTERY During their lunch Lucky hears a sound familiar to him. There is someone else in the house besides Lucky, The villain and the domestic

    MYSTERY What does the lover have to do with all this

    SUSPENSE THE REAL VILLAIN will kill Lucky’s curiosity

    INTRIGUE The villain is hiding his lover

    REVEAL #6

    The Real Villain’s lover doesn’t want the transplant. He wants to die clean!

    SUSPENSE An argument is escalated between the villain and his lover

    INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN won’t have Lucky “disappeared.” Yet.

    MYSTERY Why?

    INTRIGUE THE REAL VILLAIN knows Lucky will lure Cuichi

    REVEAL #7 The villain’s lover and Cuichi are related (subject for further development) possibly father and son.

    </div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 20, 2023 at 8:57 pm in reply to: Lesson 10

    PETER FELIZ: TRUST/BETRAYAL

    WHAT I LEARNED TODAY: Sorry to not finish the assignment but I am having problems keeping the formatting from turning into a mess

    ASSIGNMENT

    Create trust / distrust relationships between your characters and add them to your Thriller Map.

    1. Make a list of the main characters.

    Hero: Lucky Lunes

    Villain: Jorge Villarreal

    Red Herring Character: Cuichi Valenzuela

    Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Cuichi Valenzuela, Migrant restaurant customer, American Consulate

    Isn’t trusted, but should be: Santos C. Vega Jr and his sister, Jorge Villarreal

    2. With each character, ask these questions:

    A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?

    LUCKY: Trusted but shouldn’t be.

    JORGE V: Not trustable but predictable.

    CUICHI: Not trustable.

    MIGRANT RESTAURANT CUSTOMER, AMERICAN CONSULATE: Not trustable.

    SANTOS C VEGA JR & HIS SISTER (RESTAURANT OWNERS): Trustable

    B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?

    LUCKY: Wronged hero type but blindly vindictive. CUICHI VALENZUELA: Plays up his humble roots to scam and cheat anyone and for absolutely no reason.

    JORGE V: Ruthless politician Who secretly has moral lines he won’t cross unless he really has to

    C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?

    LUCKY: Cuichi bankrupted Lucky’s mother and made Lucky look like an accomplice

    CUICHI: Though he’s a sociopathic conman, he treasures his image of himself as a misunderstood dogooder.

    JORGE VILLARREAL:Corrupt politician but he has a strong sense of gratitude.

    MIGRANT CUSTOMER: Receives Lucky out of loyalty to Cuichi.

    SANTOS C VEGA JR & HIS SISTER: Eternally grateful to Lucky until he puts them in grave danger

    3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.

    Hero / Villain: LUCKY/VILLARREAL There are no henchmen visible in Villarreal’s Beach house lair. They both

    Hero / Red Herring Character: Because they have a life long relationship, Lucky is able to predict Cuichi’s actions. Still Cuichi surprises with unpredictable moves. Cuichi assumes Lucky to be the altruistic dupe

    CUICHI Though reluctant concludes Lucky must be disposed of

    Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Lucky appears to be wounded hero, ultimately wields cold blooded revenge on Cuichi.

    MIGRANT RESTAURANT CUSTOMER: Offers sound advice on jail visit/strands Lucky when needed most

    Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: SANTOS JR & SISTER: Lucky thinks they are hiding info from him. They are reluctant to endanger themselves. But they do.

    4. Create a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship (like I did with Three Days of The Condor) and then add that to your map.

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 20, 2023 at 1:56 am in reply to: Lesson 9

    <div>Let’s see if this format works</div>

    PETER FELIZ “TWISTS AND TURNS”

    <div>What I learned today: Exploit trivial events in my life to turn them into life threats. I’m still having problems with a lot of the why’s here. Working on it </div><div><font face=”inherit”>1. Opening Image:In a Arizona desert cemetery reminiscent of Boot </font>Hill Lucky<font face=”inherit”> Lunes at his mother’s funeral tries to dodge the funeral director.</font></div>

    <font face=”inherit”>Lucky’s funeral check bounced. </font>

    <font face=”inherit”>Instead The mortician assured Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid for his mother’s funeral.</font>

    <font face=”inherit”>The mortician gives Lucky an envelope addressed to Lucky. It has no return address and the envelope is empty.</font>

    <font face=”inherit”>But the postmark is Cumaripa Hermosillo MX.</font>

    TWISTS

    DIRECTION: Lucky evades mortician collect/penalize him for non-payment of his mother’s funeral

    TWIST: Funeral paid for by anonymous benefactor

    <div>DIRECTION: Mortician gives Lucky an envelope from the benefactor</div>

    TWIST: Envelope is empty.

    DOUBLE TWIST: Envelope postmarked “Cumaripa, Sonora MX

    <div>2. Setup:One of the funeral attendees, a local rancher notes that Lucky’s mother had no money for an elaborate funeral, because she like the rancher were scammed out of lots of money by Lucky’s estranged friend Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. Accuses of being in cahoots with Cuichi.</div>

    The rancher warns Lucky if he doesn’t money back, Lucky is going to pay for Cuichi’s crimes.

    TWISTS

    DIRECTION: Lucky is free of all his mother’s debts, which she incurred investing in a Ponzi scheme of Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s estranged childhood friend

    TWIST: One of the other scammed investors, seeing that Lucky’s mother made good on the investment figures Lucky as Cuichi’s accomplice. He threatens Lucky

    3. Theme Stated: As Lucky says of himself he always acts against his better judgment, whether it’s spouses, financial decisions or his choice of friends: and Cuichi Valenzuela is a lifelong and continual example. Ever since they were children Cuichi has either betrayed Lucky or saved him.But the final straw for Lucky Cuichi scammed Lucky’s mother and many other Arizona retirees out of their life savings. Cuichi escaped prosecution hiding out in Mexico.

    Why did Cuichi pay for the Lucky’s mother’s funeral? Perhaps as atonement Cuichi has anonymously paid for Lucky’s mother’s illness and passing.Which causes Lucky even further grief.

    DIRECTION In Lucky’s lifelong association with Cuichi, Cuichi has either assaulted him or rescued him.

    TWIST And the same goes for Lucky

    <div>4. Inciting Incident:Lucky, who can’t speak Spanish to save his life flies to Sonora to find Cuichi (pronounced KWEE-chee).</div>

    He has no real plan beyond finding Cuichi?

    He is being followed. By whom,?He has trouble with his passport?</div><div>

    DIRECTION: Lucky flies to Sonora

    TWIST: Lucky can’t speak enough Spanish to save his life

    DIRECTION: Lucky suspects he’s being watched TWIST He’s not…yet

    <div>5. Debate:Lucky arrives in Hermosillo and though he’s been there before (he’s a popular food blogger) his poor Spanish skills become a giant roadblock.Getting transportation to Cumaripa is like getting a ride to Castle Dracula.Why?The Villain caused a police action in Cumaripa </div>

    All hotels are booked

    Lucky is being tailed again. By whom?

    Even Lucky’s favorite food cart from a past visit has disappeared.

    The person tailing Lucky (a very large man) confronts Lucky at a Mercado. Insists Lucky comes with him.

    Lucky is taken to a small but bustling restaurant.

    <div>DIRECTION Lucky tries to get transportation to Cumaripa</div>

    TWIST Everyone refuses to take him there

    DIRECTION Someone tails Lucky

    TWIST The person is arrested before they can harm Lucky

    DIRECTION Lucky starving goes to a favorite food cart from a previous Sonora visit

    TWIST The food cart is no longer

    DIRECTION Lucky goes to the Mercado

    TWIST A very large man insists Lucky comes with him

    <div>6. Break Into 2: Who is the very large man and what is the significance of this restaurant? Santos C. Vega Jr. The current owner of Chilorio Vega.</div>

    Several years prior Lucky raved about a food cart Chilorio Vega in his blog. The review was a boon that led Santos Sr. to open a very successful restaurant.

    Santos Jr gives Lucky the “Mi casa es Su Casa” treatment. He even tries to fix Lucky up with his sister

    But Junior is hesitant hesitant to take Lucky to Cumaripa.What’s happening in Cumaripa?

    Does Junior know Cuichi Valenzuela? Claims not

    DIRECTION: Lucky is being kidnapped

    TWIST:His kidnapper is the son of the food cart owner raved about in his blog. He’s being provided food and lodging by a grateful restauranteur

    DIRECTION: Lucky is sure to get restauranteur to take him to Cumaripa

    TWIST Restauranteur adamantly refuses.

    TURN: Restauranteur’s sister secretly offers to drive Lucky to Cumaripa…Mañana..

    7. B Story:Lucky lounges at Chilorio Vega under the amorous eyes of Junior’s sister. As he updates his food blog he sees an email from “Freesoul62” The message is “Visit me at the Hermosillo Hilton”

    Junior insists there is no Hilton in Hermosillo. Lucky accuses Junior of hiding info from him. Confronts Junior about Cumaripa and what’s happening there.

    “Google It” Junior insists.

    Lucky sees news articles about an uprising in Cumaripa. With pictures of people in handcuffs. Among them Cuichi Valenzuela under an alias.

    Junior’s sister recalls that the high security jail outside of Hermosillo is called “The Hermosillo Hilton.”

    <div>DIRECTION: Lucky will take it easy for the night and catch up on his blog</div>

    TWIST Lucky gets a: Cryptic Email possibly from Cuichi to meet at the Hermosillo Hilton

    DIRECTION: Lucky will get the restauranteur to take him to the Hilton

    TWIST: Restauranteur informs Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo

    DIRECTION: Lucky confronts Restaurateur of suspicious behavior. No Hermosillo Hilton? No go Cumaripa?

    TWIST: The sister figures out Hermosillo Hilton is slang for the Maximum Security Jail just outside of Hermosillo

    DIRECTION: Lucky Google searches Cumaripa for answers.

    TWIST: All reports are vague. Something about police activity

    DIRECTION: LUCKY sees a picture of Cuichi as one of the arrested

    TWIST: The picture caption labels Cuichi as Papa Maria y Jesus Tito</div><div>

    <div>8. Fun And Games:Junior’s sister offers to take Lucky to the jail. Junior won’t have that. </div>

    The next day a stranger claiming to be a migrant whom Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona offers to drive Lucky to the jail and briefs Lucky on what to expect and whom to bribe for the visit.

    Is the migrant genuine?

    How did the migrant know Lucky was holding up in Chilorio Vega?

    Junior’s sister doesn’t trust the migrant

    Lucky, against his better judgment accepts the Migrants’ offer.

    Before sunrise the migrant drives Lucky to the jail. The migrant instructs Lucky to meet him at a designated area

    Lucky follows the migrant ‘s instructions for arranging a quick visit with Cuichi. All goes smoothly until:

    The convict brought in to see Lucky IS NOT CUICHI VALENZUELA!!

    Lucky realizing he best play along with the ruse, presents it’s Cuichi,spits in the convict’s face yelling expletives and charges out of the jail to where the migrant designated. </div><div>Lucky sees the migrant drive off with someone in the truck.</div><div>Guards are chasing Lucky as he’s running away. </div><div>A car drives up and scoops him up.</div><div>It’s Santos Junior’s sister </div><div>

    <div></div><div>Lucky theorizes Cuichi has devised a plan that makes Lucky a convenient patsy. He also knows he’s probably targeted by the Federales. Also Santos’ sister warns him he’s probably not welcome anymore at Chilorios. </div><div>Lucky seeks asylum at the American Embassy.</div><div>Lucky is told Cuichi is dead</div><div>The doctor at the jail is missing</div><div>The American Embassy kick Lucky out</div><div>Lucky spots the migrant on an Hermosillo backstreet and tails him into a brothel.</div><div>Somewhere here Lucky uses his food blogger celebrity at a mercado food court to stymie his stalker</div>

    DIRECTION During the breakfast the breakfast rush Lucky argues with his hosts about the safety of going to the Hermosillo Hilton.

    TWIST A customer overhears and offers to take Lucky to the jail

    DIRECTION Lucky accepts the customer’s claim that he’s a migrant Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona. He will help Lucky in gratitude</div><div>

    TWIST The customer is really Cuichi’s Brother/Uncle</div><div>

    DIRECTION The grateful migrant briefs Lucky on who to bribe and such during his jail visit</div><div>

    TWIST The migrant is sending Lucky into a trap</div><div>

    DIRECTION The next morning before dawn the migrant drives Lucky to the jail and guarantees to safely return him to Hermosillo</div><div>TWIST The migrant is going to strand Lucky at the jail</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky’s attempt to visit Cuichi goes well even without Spanish speaking skills </div><div>

    TWIST Until the convict the guards bring out IS NOT CUICHI</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky pretends it is Cuichi anyway, causes a commotion and runs out of the jail in the commotion</div><div>TWIST The migrant isn’t waiting for him</div><div>

    <div>Note to self: </div>

    Possibly (drop the whole Junior’s sister saves Lucky. Lucky goes to the American Consulate thing)

    Instead:</div><div>

    DIRECTION The migrant attempts to drive away</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky is able to get into migrant’s car anyway</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky fights to gain control of the migrant’s car

    TWIST Cuichi reveals himself in the backseat</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky tries to have a civil conversation with Cuichi</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky is knocked unconscious </div><div>

    9. Midpoint: Lucky in the brothel tries to keep an eye on the duplicitous migrant but is forced “to buy some time” from one of the prostitutes.

    He tries to fend off the prostitute.</div><div>

    He hears a gun shot. He tries to run out of the brothel but collides into the dying migrant.</div><div>

    Cuichi shot the migrant? Or was it someone else </div><div>

    Of course Lucky is accused of killing the migrant.</div><div>

    At some point through all of this he sees Cuichi Valenzuela is Alive!</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a Mexican cantina</div><div>

    TWIST It’s a brothel</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky spots the migrant at the other end of the cantina and follows him</div><div>

    TWIST A very formidable pimp insists Lucky “spends time” with one of the prostitutes courtesy of Maria Jose y Jesus.</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky plays along with the ruse and ducks out</div><div>

    TWIST He bumps into the migrant.</div><div>

    DIRECTION He beats up the migrant to get the truth out of him</div><div>TWIST The migrant was mortally stabbed. And it looks to all like Lucky did it.</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky seeks asylum at The American Consulate</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky is turned over to the Federales </div><div> </div><div>

    10. Bad guys close in:The Federales nab Lucky. Lucky tells them everything he knows about Quichi… including the fact that Quichi is alive. The Federales are uninterested in Lucky’s blather. They are preparing to torture him… but they’re interrupted by some “higher ups”. As the Federales and the “Higher Ups” violently debate custody of Lucky, he makes a run for it. But is knocked unconscious.</div><div>

    Lucky wakes up in a beach house.</div><div>

    He staggers about the beach house. He comes to a locked bathroom door. Is it Cuichi? Lucky calls out Cuichi’s name. No answer. Lucky hears toilet flush and the bathroom door open. It’s not Cuichi!.</div><div>

    DIRECTION The Federales prepare to torture a confession out of Lucky</div><div>

    TWIST Higher-ups stop the interrogation with paper work demanding Lucky is in their custody.</div><div>

    DIRECTION The Federales relinquish custody to the Higher Ups</div><div>TWIST Out of nowhere the Higher Ups use the Federales’ torture devices on the Federales…and knock Lucky unconscious</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a beach house. It’s desolate except for an IRoomba on a cleaning run. He follows it to a locked bathroom door. He figures Cuichi is in the bathroom</div><div>TWIST Lucky hears the toilet flush. The bathroom door opens. It’s not Cuichi </div><div>

    <div>11. All Is Lost:</div>

    The REAL VILLAIN reveals himself?;Jorge Villarreal a man of great political influence in Sonora.</div><div>

    Until recently he considered Cuichi Valenzuela a minor political annoyance until he discovers Cuichi has something Don Jorge desperately needs: Cuichi’s bone marrow. </div><div>

    And Lucky has something Cuichi desperately needs: I HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET DAMMIT! </div><div>

    But whatever it is Villarreal intends to use Lucky as bait to lure Cuichi out of hiding.</div><div>

    Villarreal demonstrates his ruthlessness and cruelty to Lucky </div><div>Also this is where Santos C Vega Jr or his sister die or their restaurant blows up.

    DIRECTION Villarreal is a much feared political influence in Sonora</div><div>

    TWIST He’s plagued by severe IBS</div><div>

    DIRECTION Villarreal insists Lucky watch a video</div><div>

    TWIST It’s a Spanish Language infomercial about Cumaripa starring Cuichi </div><div>

    DIRECTION Villarreal needs Cuichi</div><div>

    TWIST Villarreal needs Cuichi alive, always alive for his bone marrow </div><div>

    <div>12. Dark Night Of The Soul:Lucky tells Villarreal that when as child Lucky and Cuichi played “Hide & Seek” Cuichi would always hide in plain sight.<mErgo Cuichi is hiding in Cumaripa. Villarreal’s goons drag Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div></div>

    DIRECTION Conflicted Lucky doesn’t want to give up his childhood friend</div><div>

    TWIST YES HE DOES </div><div>

    <div>13. Break Into 3: On the drive to Cumaripa Villarreal ‘s goons stop at roadside elote cart. Lucky has his “aha” moment when he realizes what Cuichi needs from him. He goads the goons by challenging them to a pepper eating contest.</div><div></div>

    He escapes them and steals a cell phone</div><div>

    Who does he call?</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky let Villarreal’s goons take him to Cumaripa</div><div>

    TWIST As they drive through Hermosillo Lucky sees that Chilorio Vega has burnt to the ground</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky concludes that Villarreal’s responsible</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky escapes the goons, a car drives up to him it’s Vega’s sister. </div><div>

    DIRECTION Vegas sister offers a getaway car</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky first makes a phone call</div><div>

    <div>14. Finale: Lucky in a stolen Jeep Cherokee with the search engine light going off is driving up a narrow mountain ridge road at night. He is stuck behind a slow moving noisy van that he can’t pass.</div><div></div>

    He tries to honk the horn. It doesn’t work.</div><div>

    He almost goes off the winding road several times. Finally the van lets Lucky pass.</div><div>

    <div>Lucky runs into a roadblock policed by three machine gun toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues. They torment Lucky until they are called off by a police whistle.</div>

    The whistle blower is Cuichi Valenzuela. </div><div>

    Lucky and Cuichi have a showdown. As Cuichi gets the upper hand, a helicopter swoops in lighting up the area. It’s Villarreal’s men. Lucky pins Cuichi to the ground. Villarreal’s men nab him. Villarreal drives up in an SUV. </div><div>

    Cuichi spits in Lucky’s face as he’s taken away.</div><div>

    <div>DIRECTION Lucky is driving late night on a narrow mountain ridge road to Cumaripa</div><div></div>

    TWIST His check engine light is going off and he’s stuck behind a slow moving Volkswagen bus that he can’t pass</div><div>

    DIRECTION The VW bus let’s Lucky pass and it’s smooth sailing to his destination</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky runs into a roadblock patrolled by AR toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues</div><div>

    DIRECTION The teenagers prepare to kill Lucky</div><div>

    TWIST Cuichi calls the boys off</div><div>

    DIRECTION Cuichi and Lucky will reconcile</div><div>

    TWIST Lucky betrays Cuichi to Villarreal </div><div>1

    5. Final Image: A year later: Tucson AZ. Lucky is with his girlfriend at the Food City meat counter as he orders chorizo. The butcher wraps it up but is interrupted by another butcher who hands Lucky another package saying, “This one is fresher.” The other butcher is Cuichi Valenzuela.</div><div>

    DIRECTION Lucky thinks he see Cuichi in a Tucson supermarket</div><div>

    TWIST He looks like Cuichi but he’s not. Right?</ to create a compelling Thriller.

    <div></div></div><div>
    </div><div>0</div><div>Viewing 1 of 1 replies</div><div>Reply</div><div>
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    </div><div>© 2023 – Screenwriting classes</div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 20, 2023 at 1:07 am in reply to: Lesson 9

    PETER FELIZ “TWISTS AND TURNS”
    <div>
    </div><div>What I learned today: Exploit trivial events in my life to turn them into life threats. I’m still having problems with a lot of the why’s here. Working on it </div><div>TYPES OF PLOT TWISTS</div><div>
    </div><div>You want to use this list to brainstorm possible plot twists. Obviously, this isn’t about representing all the different kind of plot twists, but rather discovering the ones that work for you.</div><div>
    </div><div>1. Something planned for doesn’t happen.</div><div>
    </div><div>2. Lost their resources.</div><div>
    </div><div>3. Someone changes sides.</div><div>
    </div><div>4. A new problem occurs.</div><div>
    </div><div>5. A lie is uncovered.</div><div>
    </div><div>6. New consequences emerge.</div><div>
    </div><div>7. New options emerge.</div><div>
    </div><div>8. A mistake returns to haunt them.</div><div>
    </div><div>9. A trust is violated.</div><div>
    </div><div>10. We see an unexpected side of someone.</div><div>
    </div><div>11. It just got more dangerous.</div><div>
    </div><div>12. Secret identity uncovered.</div><div>
    </div><div>13. The worst thing possible happens.</div><div>
    </div><div>14. The “solution” makes things worse.</div><div>
    </div><div>Read through your Thriller Map and look for places to build in twists.</div><div>Use the 14 Types of Twists to brainstorm possible twists. Make sure they have the Current Direction / Twist pattern.</div><div>Tell us the places you added twists.</div><div>Include the new version of your Thriller Map.</div><div>Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” andput it at the top of your work.</div><div>Post your assignment in the forums.</div><div>Post your assignment.</div><div>Subject line: (Your name’s) Twists and Turns (place in first line)</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>1. Opening Image:</div><div>In a Arizona desert cemetery reminiscent of Boot HillLucky Lunes at his mother’s funeral tries to dodge the funeral director.</div><div>Lucky’s funeral check bounced </div><div>Instead The mortician assured Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid for his mother’s funeral.</div><div>The mortician gives Lucky an envelope addressed to Lucky. It has no return address and the envelope is empty.</div><div>But the postmark is Cumaripa Hermosillo MX.</div><div>
    </div><div>TWISTS</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky evades mortician collect/penalize him for non-payment of his mother’s funeral</div><div>TWIST: Funeral paid for by anonymous benefactor</div><div>
    </div><div>DIRECTION: Mortician gives Lucky an envelope from the benefactor</div><div>TWIST: Envelope is empty. </div><div>DOUBLE TWIST: Envelope postmarked “Cumaripa, Sonora MX</div><div>
    </div><div>2. Setup:</div><div>One of the funeral attendees, a local rancher notes that Lucky’s mother had no money for an elaborate funeral, because she like the rancher were scammed out of lots of money by Lucky’s estranged friend Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. Accuses of being in cahoots with Cuichi.</div><div>The rancher warns Lucky if he doesn’t money back, Lucky is going to pay for Cuichi’s crimes.</div><div>TWISTS</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky is free of all his mother’s debts, which she incurred investing in a Ponzi scheme of Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s estranged childhood friend</div><div>TWIST: One of the other scammed investors, seeing that Lucky’s mother made good on the investment figures Lucky as Cuichi’s accomplice. He threatens Lucky </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>3. Theme Stated: </div><div>As Lucky says of himself he always acts against his better judgment, whether it’s spouses, financial decisions or his choice of friends: and Cuichi Valenzuela is a lifelong and continual example. Ever since they were children Cuichi has either betrayed Lucky or saved him.</div><div>But the final straw for Lucky Cuichi scammed Lucky’s mother and many other Arizona retirees out of their life savings. Cuichi escaped prosecution hiding out in Mexico.</div><div>Why did Cuichi pay for the Lucky’s mother’s funeral?</div><div>Perhaps as atonement Cuichi has anonymously paid for Lucky’s mother’s illness and passing.</div><div>Which causes Lucky even further grief.</div><div>DIRECTION In Lucky’s lifelong association with Cuichi, Cuichi has either assaulted him or rescued him.</div><div>TWIST And the same goes for Lucky </div><div>
    </div><div>4. Inciting Incident:</div><div>Lucky, who can’t speak Spanish to save his life flies to Sonora to find Cuichi (pronounced KWEE-chee).</div><div>He has no real plan beyond finding Cuichi?</div><div>He is being followed. By whom,?</div><div>He has trouble with his passport?</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky flies to Sonora</div><div>TWIST: Lucky can’t speak enough Spanish to save his life</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky suspects he’s being watched</div><div>TWIST He’s not…yet</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>5. Debate:</div><div>Lucky arrives in Hermosillo and though he’s been there before (he’s a popular food blogger) his poor Spanish skills become a giant roadblock.</div><div>Getting transportation to Cumaripa is like getting a ride to Castle Dracula.Why?</div><div>The Villain caused a police action in Cumaripa </div><div>All hotels are booked </div><div>Lucky is being tailed again. By whom</div><div>Even Lucky’s favorite food cart from a past visit has disappeared.</div><div>The person tailing Lucky (a very large man) confronts Lucky at a Mercado. Insists Lucky comes with him.</div><div>Lucky is taken to a small but bustling restaurant.</div><div>
    </div><div>DIRECTION Lucky tries to get transportation to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST Everyone refuses to take him there</div><div>DIRECTION Someone tails Lucky</div><div>TWIST The person is arrested before they can harm Lucky</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky starving goes to a favorite food cart from a previous Sonora visit</div><div>TWIST The food cart is no longer</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky goes to the Mercado</div><div>TWIST A very large man insists Lucky comes with him </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>6. Break Into 2:</div><div>Who is the very large man and what is the significance of this restaurant?</div><div>Santos C. Vega Jr. The current owner of Chilorio Vega.</div><div>Several years prior Lucky raved about a food cart Chilorio Vega in his blog. The review was a boon that led Santos Sr. to open a very successful restaurant.</div><div>Santos Jr gives Lucky the “Mi casa es Su Casa” treatment. He even tries to fix Lucky up with his sister</div><div>But Junior is hesitant hesitant to take Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>What’s happening in Cumaripa?</div><div>Does Junior know Cuichi Valenzuela?</div><div>Claims not</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky is being kidnapped</div><div>TWIST:His kidnapper is the son of the food cart owner raved about in his blog. He’s being provided food and lodging by a grateful restauranteur</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky is sure to get restauranteur to take him to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST Restauranteur adamantly refuses.</div><div>TURN: Restauranteur’s sister secretly offers to drive Lucky to Cumaripa…Mañana.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>7. B Story:</div><div>Lucky lounges at Chilorio Vega under the amorous eyes of Junior’s sister.</div><div>As he updates his food blog he sees an email from “Freesoul62” The message is “Visit me at the Hermosillo Hilton”</div><div>Junior insists there is no Hilton in Hermosillo.</div><div>Lucky accuses Junior of hiding info from him. Confronts Junior about Cumaripa and what’s happening there.</div><div>”Google It” Junior insists.</div><div>Lucky sees news articles about an uprising in Cumaripa. With pictures of people in handcuffs. Among them Cuichi Valenzuela under an alias.</div><div>Junior’s sister recalls that the high security jail outside of Hermosillo is called “The Hermosillo Hilton.”</div><div>
    </div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky will take it easy for the night and catch up on his blog</div><div>TWIST Lucky gets a: Cryptic Email possibly from Cuichi to meet at the Hermosillo Hilton</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky will get the restauranteur to take him to the Hilton</div><div>TWIST: Restauranteur informs Lucky there is no Hilton in Hermosillo</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky confronts Restaurateur of suspicious behavior. No Hermosillo Hilton? No go Cumaripa?</div><div>TWIST: The sister figures out Hermosillo Hilton is slang for the Maximum Security Jail just outside of Hermosillo</div><div>DIRECTION: Lucky Google searches Cumaripa for answers.</div><div>TWIST: All reports are vague. Something about police activity</div><div>DIRECTION: LUCKY sees a picture of Cuichi as one of the arrested</div><div>TWIST: The picture caption labels Cuichi as Papa Maria y Jesus Tito</div><div>
    </div><div>8. Fun And Games:</div><div>Junior’s sister offers to take Lucky to the jail. Junior won’t have that.</div><div>The next day a stranger claiming to be a migrant whom Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona offers to drive Lucky to the jail and briefs Lucky on what to expect and whom to bribe for the visit.</div><div>Is the migrant genuine?</div><div>How did the migrant know Lucky was holding up in Chilorio Vega?</div><div>Junior’s sister doesn’t trust the migrant</div><div>Lucky, against his better judgment accepts the Migrants’ offer.</div><div>Before sunrise the migrant drives Lucky to the jail. The migrant instructs Lucky to meet him at a designated area </div><div>Lucky follows the migrant ‘s instructions for arranging a quick visit with Cuichi. All goes smoothly until:</div><div>The convict brought in to see Lucky IS NOT CUICHI VALENZUELA!!</div><div>Lucky realizing he best play along with the ruse, presents it’s Cuichi,spits in the convict’s face yelling expletives and charges out of the jail to where the migrant designated. </div><div>Lucky sees the migrant drive off with someone in the truck.</div><div>Guards are chasing Lucky as he’s running away. </div><div>A car drives up and scoops him up.</div><div>It’s Santos Junior’s sister </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky theorizes Cuichi has devised a plan that makes Lucky a convenient patsy. He also knows he’s probably targeted by the Federales. Also Santos’ sister warns him he’s probably not welcome anymore at Chilorios. </div><div>Lucky seeks asylum at the American Embassy.</div><div>Lucky is told Cuichi is dead</div><div>The doctor at the jail is missing</div><div>The American Embassy kick Lucky out</div><div>Lucky spots the migrant on an Hermosillo backstreet and tails him into a brothel.</div><div>Somewhere here Lucky uses his food blogger celebrity at a mercado food court to stymie his stalker</div><div>DIRECTION During the breakfast the breakfast rush Lucky argues with his hosts about the safety of going to the Hermosillo Hilton.</div><div>TWIST A customer overhears and offers to take Lucky to the jail</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky accepts the customer’s claim that he’s a migrant Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona. He will help Lucky in gratitude</div><div>TWIST The customer is really Cuichi’s Brother/Uncle</div><div>DIRECTION The grateful migrant briefs Lucky on who to bribe and such during his jail visit</div><div>TWIST The migrant is sending Lucky into a trap</div><div>DIRECTION The next morning before dawn the migrant drives Lucky to the jail and guarantees to safely return him to Hermosillo</div><div>TWIST The migrant is going to strand Lucky at the jail</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky’s attempt to visit Cuichi goes well even without Spanish speaking skills </div><div>TWIST Until the convict the guards bring out IS NOT CUICHI</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky pretends it is Cuichi anyway, causes a commotion and runs out of the jail in the commotion</div><div>TWIST The migrant isn’t waiting for him</div><div>
    </div><div>Note to self: Possibly (drop the whole Junior’s sister saves Lucky. Lucky goes to the American Consulate thing) Instead:</div><div>DIRECTION The migrant attempts to drive away</div><div>TWIST Lucky is able to get into migrant’s car anyway</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky fights to gain control of the migrant’s</div><div>TWIST Cuichi reveals himself in the backseat</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky tries to have a civil conversation with Cuichi</div><div>TWIST Lucky is knocked unconscious </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>9. Midpoint:</div><div>Lucky in the brothel tries to keep an eye on the duplicitous migrant but is forced “to buy some time” from one of the prostitutes. </div><div>He tries to fend off the prostitute.</div><div>He hears a gun shot. He tries to run out of the brothel but collides into the dying migrant.</div><div>Cuichi shot the migrant? Or was it someone else </div><div>Of course Lucky is accused of killing the migrant.</div><div>At some point through all of this he sees Cuichi Valenzuela is Alive!</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a Mexican cantina</div><div>TWIST It’s a brothel</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky spots the migrant at the other end of the cantina and follows him</div><div>TWIST A very formidable pimp insists Lucky “spends time” with one of the prostitutes courtesy of Maria Jose y Jesus.</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky plays along with the ruse and ducks out</div><div>TWIST He bumps into the migrant.</div><div>DIRECTION He beats up the migrant to get the truth out of him</div><div>TWIST The migrant was mortally stabbed. And it looks to all like Lucky did it.</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky seeks asylum at The American Consulate</div><div>TWIST Lucky is turned over to the Federales </div><div> </div><div>10. Bad guys close in:</div><div>The Federales nab Lucky. Lucky tells them everything he knows about Quichi… including the fact that Quichi is alive. The Federales are uninterested in Lucky’s blather. They are preparing to torture him… but they’re interrupted by some “higher ups”. As the Federales and the “Higher Ups” violently debate custody of Lucky, he makes a run for it. But is knocked unconscious.</div><div>Lucky wakes up in a beach house.</div><div>He staggers about the beach house. He comes to a locked bathroom door. Is it Cuichi? Lucky calls out Cuichi’s name. No answer. Lucky hears toilet flush and the bathroom door open. It’s not Cuichi!.</div><div>DIRECTION The Federales prepare to torture a confession out of Lucky</div><div>TWIST Higher-ups stop the interrogation with paper work demanding Lucky is in their custody.</div><div>DIRECTION The Federales relinquish custody to the Higher Ups</div><div>TWIST Out of nowhere the Higher Ups use the Federales’ torture devices on the Federales…and knock Lucky unconscious</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky wakes up in a beach house. It’s desolate except for an IRoomba on a cleaning run. He follows it to a locked bathroom door. He figures Cuichi is in the bathroom</div><div>TWIST Lucky hears the toilet flush. The bathroom door opens. It’s not Cuichi </div><div>
    </div><div>11. All Is Lost:</div><div>The REAL VILLAIN reveals himself?;Jorge Villarreal a man of great political influence in Sonora.</div><div>Until recently he considered Cuichi Valenzuela a minor annoyance until he discovers Cuichi has something Don Jorge desperately needs: Cuichi’s bone marrow. </div><div>And Lucky has something Cuichi desperately needs: I HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET DAMMIT! </div><div>But whatever it is Villarreal intends to use Lucky as bait to lure Cuichi out of hiding.</div><div>Villarreal demonstrates his ruthlessness and cruelty to Lucky </div><div>Also this is where Santos C Vega Jr or his sister die or their restaurant blows up.</div><div>
    </div><div>DIRECTION Villarreal is a much feared political influence in Sonora</div><div>TWIST He’s plagued by severe IBS</div><div>DIRECTION Villarreal insists Lucky watch a video</div><div>TWIST It’s a Spanish Language infomercial about Cumaripa starring Cuichi </div><div>DIRECTION Villarreal needs Cuichi</div><div>TWIST Villarreal needs Cuichi alive, always alive for his bone marrow </div><div>
    </div><div>12. Dark Night Of The Soul:</div><div>Lucky tells Villarreal that when as child Lucky and Cuichi played “Hide & Seek” Cuichi would always hide in plain sight.</div><div>Ergo Cuichi is hiding in Cumaripa. Villarreal’s goons drag Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>DIRECTION Conflicted Lucky doesn’t want to give up his childhood friend</div><div>TWIST YES HE DOES </div><div>
    </div><div>13. Break Into 3:</div><div>On the drive to Cumaripa Villarreal ‘s goons stop at roadside elote cart. Lucky has his “aha” moment when he realizes what Cuichi needs from him. He goads the goons by challenging them to a pepper eating contest.</div><div>He escapes them and steals a cell phone</div><div>Who does he call?</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky let Villarreal’s goons take him to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST As they drive through Hermosillo Lucky sees that Chilorio Vega has burnt to the ground</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky concludes that Villarreal’s responsible</div><div>TWIST Lucky escapes the goons, a car drives up to him it’s Vega’s sister. </div><div>DIRECTION Vegas sister offers a getaway car</div><div>TWIST Lucky first makes a phone call</div><div>
    </div><div>14. Finale:</div><div>Lucky in a stolen Jeep Cherokee with the search engine light going off is driving up a narrow mountain ridge road at night. He is stuck behind a slow moving noisy van that he can’t pass.</div><div>He tries to honk the horn. It doesn’t work.</div><div>He almost goes off the winding road several times. Finally the van lets Lucky pass.</div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky runs into a roadblock policed by three machinegun toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues. They torment Lucky until they are called off by a police whistle.</div><div>The whistle blower is Cuichi Valenzuela. </div><div>Lucky and Cuichi have a showdown. As Cuichi gets the upper hand, a helicopter swoops in lighting up the area. It’s Villarreal’s men. Lucky pins Cuichi to the ground. Villarreal’s men nab him. Villarreal drives up in an SUV. </div><div>Cuichi spits in Lucky’s face as he’s taken away.</div><div>
    </div><div>DIRECTION Lucky is driving late night on a narrow mountain ridge road to Cumaripa</div><div>TWIST His check engine light is going off and he’s stuck behind a slow moving Volkswagen bus that he can’t pass</div><div>DIRECTION The VW bus let’s Lucky pass and it’s smooth sailing to his destination</div><div>TWIST Lucky runs into a roadblock patrolled by AR toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues</div><div>DIRECTION The teenagers prepare to kill Lucky</div><div>TWIST Cuichi calls the boys off</div><div>DIRECTION Cuichi and Lucky will reconcile</div><div>TWIST Lucky betrays Cuichi to Villarreal </div><div>15. Final Image:</div><div>A year later: Tucson AZ. Lucky is with his girlfriend at the Food City meat counter as he orders chorizo. The butcher wraps it up but is interrupted by another butcher who hands Lucky another package saying, “This one is fresher.” The other butcher is Cuichi Valenzuela.</div><div>DIRECTION Lucky thinks he see Cuichi in a Tucson supermarket</div><div>TWIST He looks like Cuichi but he’s not. Right?</div><div>
    </div><div>Inside your structure, fill in the gaps with the Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s plan. Do this one at a time. That will keep you from getting confused.</div><div>Take a break for a few hours, then read it again and make any improvements. Remember, we are not writing scenes, just filling in the key components to create a compelling Thriller.</div><div>Answer the question “What I learned is…?” and put it at the top of your work.</div><div>Post it to the forums.</div><div>Post your assignment.</div><div>Subject Line: (Your name’s) Thriller Plot!</div><div>
    </div><div>Deadline: 48 hours</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 18, 2023 at 4:49 pm in reply to: Lesson 8

    ASSIGNMENT
    <div>1. Opening Image:</div><div>In a Arizona desert cemetery reminiscent of Boot HillLucky Lunes at his mother’s funeral tries to dodge the funeral director.</div><div>Lucky’s funeral check bounced </div><div>Instead The mortician assured Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid for his mother’s funeral.</div><div>The mortician gives Lucky an envelope addressed to Lucky. It has no return address and the envelope is empty.</div><div>But the postmark is Cumaripa Hermosillo MX.</div><div>
    </div><div>2. Setup:</div><div>One of the funeral attendees, a local rancher notes that Lucky’s mother had no money for an elaborate funeral, because she like the rancher were scammed out of lots of money by Lucky’s estranged friend Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. Accuses of being in cahoots with Cuichi.</div><div>The rancher warns Lucky if he doesn’t money back, Lucky is going to pay for Cuichi’s crimes.</div><div>
    </div><div>3. Theme Stated: </div><div>As Lucky says of himself he always acts against his better judgment, whether it’s spouses, financial decisions or his choice of friends: and Cuichi Valenzuela is a lifelong and continual example. Ever since they were children Cuichi has either betrayed Lucky or saved him.</div><div>But the final straw for Lucky Cuichi scammed Lucky’s mother and many other Arizona retirees out of their life savings. Cuichi escaped prosecution hiding out in Mexico.</div><div>Why did Cuichi pay for the Lucky’s mother’s funeral?</div><div>Perhaps as atonement Cuichi has anonymously paid for Lucky’s mother’s illness and passing.</div><div>Which causes Lucky even further grief.</div><div>
    </div><div>4. Inciting Incident:</div><div>Lucky, who can’t speak Spanish to save his life flies to Sonora to find Cuichi (pronounced KWEE-chee).</div><div>He has no real plan beyond finding Cuichi?</div><div>He is being followed. By whom,?</div><div>He has trouble with his passport?</div><div>
    </div><div>Over drinks, Calloway tells Holly Martins that his friend Harry Lime was involved in racketeering and is a murderer. Martins is forced to see Harry in a new light, and his reaction is to instantly side with his friend as he tries to hit the policeman for the accusation. He vows to prove Calloway wrong about Harry Limes.</div><div>
    </div><div>Learn more about inciting incidents: The Inciting Incident: Definition and Case Studies</div><div>
    </div><div>5. Debate:</div><div>Lucky arrives in Hermosillo and though he’s been there before (he’s a popular food blogger) his poor Spanish skills become a giant roadblock.</div><div>Getting transportation to Cumaripa is like getting a ride to Castle Dracula.Why?</div><div>The Villain caused a police action in Cumaripa </div><div>All hotels are booked </div><div>Lucky is being tailed again. By whom</div><div>Even Lucky’s favorite food cart from a past visit has disappeared.</div><div>The person tailing Lucky (a very large man) confronts Lucky at a Mercado. Insists Lucky comes with him.</div><div>Lucky is taken to a small but bustling restaurant.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>6. Break Into 2:</div><div>Who is the very large man and what is the significance of this restaurant?</div><div>Santos C. Vega Jr. The current owner of Chilorio Vega.</div><div>Several years prior Lucky raved about a food cart Chilorio Vega in his blog. The review was a boon that led Santos Sr. to open a very successful restaurant.</div><div>Santos Jr gives Lucky the “Mi casa es Su Casa” treatment. He even tries to fix Lucky up with his sister</div><div>But Junior is hesitant hesitant to take Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>What’s happening in Cumaripa?</div><div>Does Junior know Cuichi Valenzuela?</div><div>Claims not</div><div>
    </div><div>7. B Story:</div><div>Lucky lounges at Chilorio Vega under the amorous eyes of Junior’s sister.</div><div>As he updates his food blog he sees an email from “Freesoul62” The message is “Visit me at the Hermosillo Hilton”</div><div>Junior insists there is no Hilton in Hermosillo.</div><div>Lucky accuses Junior of hiding info from him. Confronts Junior about Cumaripa and what’s happening there.</div><div>”Google It” Junior insists.</div><div>Lucky sees news articles about an uprising in Cumaripa. With pictures of people in handcuffs. Among them Cuichi Valenzuela under an alias.</div><div>Junior’s sister recalls that the high security jail outside of Hermosillo is called “The Hermosillo Hilton.”</div><div>8. Fun And Games:</div><div>Junior’s sister offers to take Lucky to the jail. Junior won’t have that.</div><div>The next day a stranger claiming to be a migrant whom Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona offers to drive Lucky to the jail and briefs Lucky on what to expect and whom to bribe for the visit.</div><div>Is the migrant genuine?</div><div>How did the migrant know Lucky was holding up in Chilorio Vega?</div><div>Junior’s sister doesn’t trust the migrant</div><div>Lucky, against his better judgment accepts the Migrants’ offer.</div><div>Before sunrise the migrant drives Lucky to the jail. The migrant instructs Lucky to meet him at a designated area </div><div>Lucky follows the migrant ‘s instructions for arranging a quick visit with Cuichi. All goes smoothly until:</div><div>The convict brought in to see Lucky IS NOT CUICHI VALENZUELA!!</div><div>Lucky realizing he best play along with the ruse, presents it’s Cuichi,spits in the convict’s face yelling expletives and charges out of the jail to where the migrant designated. </div><div>Lucky sees the migrant drive off with someone in the truck.</div><div>Guards are chasing Lucky as he’s running away. </div><div>A car drives up and scoops him up.</div><div>It’s Santos Junior’s sister </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky theorizes Cuichi has devised a plan that makes Lucky a convenient patsy. He also knows he’s probably targeted by the Federales. Also Santos’ sister warns him he’s probably not welcome anymore at Chilorios. </div><div>Lucky seeks asylum at the American Embassy.</div><div>Lucky is told Cuichi is dead</div><div>The doctor at the jail is missing</div><div>The American Embassy kick Lucky out</div><div>Lucky spots the migrant on an Hermosillo backstreet and tails him into a brothel.</div><div>Somewhere here Lucky uses his food blogger celebrity at a mercado food court to stymie his stalkers </div><div>
    </div><div>9. Midpoint:</div><div>Lucky in the brothel tries to keep an eye on the duplicitous migrant but is forced “to buy some time” from one of the prostitutes. </div><div>He tries to fend off the prostitute.</div><div>He hears a gun shot. He tries to run out of the brothel but collides into the dying migrant.</div><div>Cuichi shot the migrant? Or was it someone else </div><div>Of course Lucky is accused of killing the migrant.</div><div>At some point through all of this he sees Cuichi Valenzuela is Alive!</div><div> </div><div>10. Bad guys close in:</div><div>The Federales nab Lucky. Lucky tells them everything he knows about Quichi… including the fact that Quichi is alive. The Federales are uninterested in Lucky’s blather. They are preparing to torture him… but they’re interrupted by some “higher ups”. As the Federales and the “Higher Ups” violently debate custody of Lucky, he makes a run for it. But is knocked unconscious.</div><div>Lucky wakes up in a beach house.</div><div>He staggers about the beach house. He comes to a locked bathroom door. Is it Cuichi? Lucky calls out Cuichi’s name. No answer. Lucky hears toilet flush and the bathroom door open. It’s not Cuichi!.</div><div>
    </div><div>11. All Is Lost:</div><div>The REAL VILLAIN reveals himself?;Jorge Villarreal a man of great political influence in Sonora.</div><div>Until recently he considered Cuichi Valenzuela a minor annoyance until he discovers Cuichi has something Don Jorge desperately needs: Cuichi’s bone marrow. </div><div>And Lucky has something Cuichi desperately needs: I HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET DAMMIT! </div><div>But whatever it is Villarreal intends to use Lucky as bait to lure Cuichi out of hiding.</div><div>Villarreal demonstrates his ruthlessness and cruelty to Lucky </div><div>Also this is where Santos C Vega Jr or his sister die or their restaurant blows up.</div><div>
    </div><div>12. Dark Night Of The Soul:</div><div>Lucky tells Villarreal that when as child Lucky and Cuichi played “Hide & Seek” Cuichi would always hide in plain sight.</div><div>Ergo Cuichi is hiding in Cumaripa. Villarreal’s goons drag Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>
    </div><div>13. Break Into 3:</div><div>On the drive to Cumaripa Villarreal ‘s goons stop at roadside elote cart. Lucky has his “aha” moment when he realizes what Cuichi needs from him. He goads the goons by challenging them to a pepper eating contest.</div><div>He escapes them and steals a cell phone</div><div>Who does he call?</div><div>Lucky in a stolen Jeep Cherokee with the search engine light going off is driving up a narrow mountain ridge road at night. He is stuck behind a slow moving noisy van that he can’t pass.</div><div>He tries to honk the horn. It doesn’t work.</div><div>He almost goes off the winding road several times. Finally the van lets Lucky pass.</div><div>14. Finale:</div><div>Lucky runs into a roadblock policed by three machinegun toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues. They torment Lucky until they are called off by a police whistle.</div><div>The whistle blower is Cuichi Valenzuela. </div><div>Lucky and Cuichi have a showdown. As Cuichi gets the upper hand, a helicopter swoops in lighting up the area. It’s Villarreal’s men. Lucky pins Cuichi to the ground. Villarreal’s men nab him. Villarreal drives up in an SUV. </div><div>Cuichi spits in Lucky’s face as he’s taken away.</div><div>
    </div><div>15. Final Image:</div><div>A year later: Tucson AZ. Lucky is with his girlfriend at the Food City meat counter as he orders chorizo. The butcher wraps it up but is interrupted by another butcher who hands Lucky another package saying, “This one is fresher.” The other butcher is Cuichi Valenzuela.</div><div>
    </div><div>Inside your structure, fill in the gaps with the Life Threatening situations, Mysteries, and Villain’s plan. Do this one at a time. That will keep you from getting confused.</div><div>Take a break for a few hours, then read it again and make any improvements. Remember, we are not writing scenes, just filling in the key components to create a compelling Thriller.</div><div>Answer the question “What I learned is…?” and put it at the top of your work.</div><div>Post it to the forums.</div><div>Post your assignment.</div><div>Subject Line: (Your name’s) Thriller Plot!</div><div>
    </div><div>Deadline: 48 hours</div><div>
    </div><div>Give yourself the freedom to do this without any criticism. In future lessons, we are going to add many key components that will have this thriller be amazing. But for the moment, we want to get your M.I.S. sequences built into the plot so you can work with it.</div><div>
    </div><div>Have fun creating your Thriller Plot!</div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 18, 2023 at 4:45 pm in reply to: Lesson 8

    PETER FELIZ : THRILLER PLOT<div>

    WHAT I LEARNED TODAY I’m still unclear as to both Lucky’s and Cuichi’s motives, but I’ve enjoyed using (or abusing) SAVE THE CAT as my structure. Also the real villain is murky here.

    ASSIGNMENT

    <div>1. Opening Image:</div><div>In a Arizona desert cemetery reminiscent of Boot Hill Lucky Lunes at his mother’s funeral tries to dodge the funeral director.</div><div>Lucky’s funeral check bounced </div><div>Instead The mortician assured Lucky that an anonymous benefactor paid for his mother’s funeral.</div><div>The mortician gives Lucky an envelope addressed to Lucky. It has no return address and the envelope is empty.</div><div>But the postmark is Cumaripa Hermosillo MX.</div><div>
    </div><div>2. Setup:</div><div>One of the funeral attendees, a local rancher notes that Lucky’s mother had no money for an elaborate funeral, because she like the rancher were scammed out of lots of money by Lucky’s estranged friend Antonio “Cuichi” Valenzuela. Accuses of being in cahoots with Cuichi.</div><div>The rancher warns Lucky if he doesn’t money back, Lucky is going to pay for Cuichi’s crimes.</div><div>
    </div><div>3. Theme Stated: </div><div>As Lucky says of himself he always acts against his better judgment, whether it’s spouses, financial decisions or his choice of friends: and Cuichi Valenzuela is a lifelong and continual example. Ever since they were children Cuichi has either betrayed Lucky or saved him.</div><div>But the final straw for Lucky Cuichi scammed Lucky’s mother and many other Arizona retirees out of their life savings. Cuichi escaped prosecution hiding out in Mexico.</div><div>Why did Cuichi pay for the Lucky’s mother’s funeral?</div><div>Perhaps as atonement Cuichi has anonymously paid for Lucky’s mother’s illness and passing.</div><div>Which causes Lucky even further grief.</div><div>
    </div><div>4. Inciting Incident:</div><div>Lucky, who can’t speak Spanish to save his life flies to Sonora to find Cuichi (pronounced KWEE-chee).</div><div>He has no real plan beyond finding Cuichi?</div><div>He is being followed. By whom,?</div><div>He has trouble with his passport?</div><div>
    </div><div>Over drinks, Calloway tells Holly Martins that his friend Harry Lime was involved in racketeering and is a murderer. Martins is forced to see Harry in a new light, and his reaction is to instantly side with his friend as he tries to hit the policeman for the accusation. He vows to prove Calloway wrong about Harry Limes.</div><div>
    </div><div>Learn more about inciting incidents: The Inciting Incident: Definition and Case Studies</div><div>
    </div><div>5. Debate:</div><div>Lucky arrives in Hermosillo and though he’s been there before (he’s a popular food blogger) his poor Spanish skills become a giant roadblock.</div><div>Getting transportation to Cumaripa is like getting a ride to Castle Dracula.Why?</div><div>The Villain caused a police action in Cumaripa </div><div>All hotels are booked </div><div>Lucky is being tailed again. By whom</div><div>Even Lucky’s favorite food cart from a past visit has disappeared.</div><div>The person tailing Lucky (a very large man) confronts Lucky at a Mercado. Insists Lucky comes with him.</div><div>Lucky is taken to a small but bustling restaurant.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>6. Break Into 2:</div><div>Who is the very large man and what is the significance of this restaurant?</div><div>Santos C. Vega Jr. The current owner of Chilorio Vega.</div><div>Several years prior Lucky raved about a food cart Chilorio Vega in his blog. The review was a boon that led Santos Sr. to open a very successful restaurant.</div><div>Santos Jr gives Lucky the “Mi casa es Su Casa” treatment. He even tries to fix Lucky up with his sister</div><div>But Junior is hesitant hesitant to take Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>What’s happening in Cumaripa?</div><div>Does Junior know Cuichi Valenzuela?</div><div>Claims not</div><div>
    </div><div>7. B Story:</div><div>Lucky lounges at Chilorio Vega under the amorous eyes of Junior’s sister.</div><div>As he updates his food blog he sees an email from “Freesoul62” The message is “Visit me at the Hermosillo Hilton”</div><div>Junior insists there is no Hilton in Hermosillo.</div><div>Lucky accuses Junior of hiding info from him. Confronts Junior about Cumaripa and what’s happening there.</div><div>”Google It” Junior insists.</div><div>Lucky sees news articles about an uprising in Cumaripa. With pictures of people in handcuffs. Among them Cuichi Valenzuela under an alias.</div><div>Junior’s sister recalls that the high security jail outside of Hermosillo is called “The Hermosillo Hilton.”</div><div>8. Fun And Games:</div><div>Junior’s sister offers to take Lucky to the jail. Junior won’t have that.</div><div>The next day a stranger claiming to be a migrant whom Lucky’s father once sponsored in Arizona offers to drive Lucky to the jail and briefs Lucky on what to expect and whom to bribe for the visit.</div><div>Is the migrant genuine?</div><div>How did the migrant know Lucky was holding up in Chilorio Vega?</div><div>Junior’s sister doesn’t trust the migrant</div><div>Lucky, against his better judgment accepts the Migrants’ offer.</div><div>Before sunrise the migrant drives Lucky to the jail. The migrant instructs Lucky to meet him at a designated area </div><div>Lucky follows the migrant ‘s instructions for arranging a quick visit with Cuichi. All goes smoothly until:</div><div>The convict brought in to see Lucky IS NOT CUICHI VALENZUELA!!</div><div>Lucky realizing he best play along with the ruse, presents it’s Cuichi,spits in the convict’s face yelling expletives and charges out of the jail to where the migrant designated. </div><div>Lucky sees the migrant drive off with someone in the truck.</div><div>Guards are chasing Lucky as he’s running away. </div><div>A car drives up and scoops him up.</div><div>It’s Santos Junior’s sister </div><div>
    </div><div>Lucky theorizes Cuichi has devised a plan that makes Lucky a convenient patsy. He also knows he’s probably targeted by the Federales. Also Santos’ sister warns him he’s probably not welcome anymore at Chilorios. </div><div>Lucky seeks asylum at the American Embassy.</div><div>Lucky is told Cuichi is dead</div><div>The doctor at the jail is missing</div><div>The American Embassy kick Lucky out</div><div>Lucky spots the migrant on an Hermosillo backstreet and tails him into a brothel.</div><div>Somewhere here Lucky uses his food blogger celebrity at a mercado food court to stymie his stalkers </div><div>
    </div><div>9. Midpoint:</div><div>Lucky in the brothel tries to keep an eye on the duplicitous migrant but is forced “to buy some time” from one of the prostitutes. </div><div>He tries to fend off the prostitute.</div><div>He hears a gun shot. He tries to run out of the brothel but collides into the dying migrant.</div><div>Cuichi shot the migrant? Or was it someone else </div><div>Of course Lucky is accused of killing the migrant.</div><div>At some point through all of this he sees Cuichi Valenzuela is Alive!</div><div> </div><div>10. Bad guys close in:</div><div>The Federales nab Lucky. Lucky tells them everything he knows about Quichi… including the fact that Quichi is alive. The Federales are uninterested in Lucky’s blather. They are preparing to torture him… but they’re interrupted by some “higher ups”. As the Federales and the “Higher Ups” violently debate custody of Lucky, he makes a run for it. But is knocked unconscious.</div><div>Lucky wakes up in a beach house.</div><div>He staggers about the beach house. He comes to a locked bathroom door. Is it Cuichi? Lucky calls out Cuichi’s name. No answer. Lucky hears toilet flush and the bathroom door open. It’s not Cuichi!.</div><div>
    </div><div>11. All Is Lost:</div><div>The REAL VILLAIN reveals himself?;Jorge Villarreal a man of great political influence in Sonora.</div><div>Until recently he considered Cuichi Valenzuela a minor annoyance until he discovers Cuichi has something Don Jorge desperately needs: Cuichi’s bone marrow. </div><div>And Lucky has something Cuichi desperately needs: I HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT YET DAMMIT! </div><div>But whatever it is Villarreal intends to use Lucky as bait to lure Cuichi out of hiding.</div><div>Villarreal demonstrates his ruthlessness and cruelty to Lucky </div><div>Also this is where Santos C Vega Jr or his sister die or their restaurant blows up.</div><div>
    </div><div>12. Dark Night Of The Soul:</div><div>Lucky tells Villarreal that when as child Lucky and Cuichi played “Hide & Seek” Cuichi would always hide in plain sight.</div><div>Ergo Cuichi is hiding in Cumaripa. Villarreal’s goons drag Lucky to Cumaripa.</div><div>
    </div><div>13. Break Into 3:</div><div>On the drive to Cumaripa Villarreal ‘s goons stop at roadside elote cart. Lucky has his “aha” moment when he realizes what Cuichi needs from him. He goads the goons by challenging them to a pepper eating contest.</div><div>He escapes them and steals a cell phone</div><div>Who does he call?</div><div>Lucky in a stolen Jeep Cherokee with the search engine light going off is driving up a narrow mountain ridge road at night. He is stuck behind a slow moving noisy van that he can’t pass.</div><div>He tries to honk the horn. It doesn’t work.</div><div>He almost goes off the winding road several times. Finally the van lets Lucky pass.</div><div>14. Finale:</div><div>Lucky runs into a roadblock policed by three machinegun toting teenagers dressed in combat fatigues. They torment Lucky until they are called off by a police whistle.</div><div>The whistle blower is Cuichi Valenzuela. </div><div>Lucky and Cuichi have a showdown. As Cuichi gets the upper hand, a helicopter swoops in lighting up the area. It’s Villarreal’s men. Lucky pins Cuichi to the ground. Villarreal’s men nab him. Villarreal drives up in an SUV. </div><div>Cuichi spits in Lucky’s face as he’s taken away.</div><div>
    </div><div>15. Final Image:</div><div>A year later: Tucson AZ. Lucky is with his new girlfriend at the Food City meat counter as he orders chorizo. The butcher wraps it up but is interrupted by another butcher who hands Lucky another package saying, “This one is fresher.” The other butcher is Cuichi Valenzuela.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Subject Line: (Your name’s) Thriller Plot!</div><div>
    </div><div>Deadline: 48 hours</div><div>
    </div><div>Give yourself the freedom to do this without any criticism. In future lessons, we are going to add many key components that will have this thriller be amazing. But for the moment, we want to get your M.I.S. sequences built into the plot so you can work with it.</div><div>
    </div><div>Have fun creating your Thriller Plot!</div></div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 15, 2023 at 6:44 pm in reply to: Lesson 7

    PETER FELIZ :Life Threatening Sequence.

    WHAT I LEARNED: It’s too early to get bogged down by plausibility and details. And if I’m stuck reference THE THIRD MAN for inspiration

    What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger? Cuichi Valenzuela is using money he scammed from American retirees (among them Lucky Lunes’ mother) to bankroll a massive criminal enterprise in Sonora Mexico. Cuichi lures Lucky to Sonora with the promise of paying back Lucky’s mother’s money (what does Cuichi really need from Lucky?)

    What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?

    1. Lucky can’t speak Spanish to save his life.

    2. Lucky’s mother died and he can’t pay funeral costs.

    3. The funeral is paid for by an anonymous benefactor

    4. The IRS question Lucky about the payment

    5. Lucky is suspected as an accomplice to Cuichi’s Ponzi Scam.

    6. Every attempt Lucky makes to meet with Lucky is thwarted.

    A. First meeting place Cumaripa, Sonora; Cuichi is a no show. Some men threatened Lucky until they find out he’s Cuichi’s “friend”. They tell Lucky Cuichi is in a Jail in Hermosillo.

    B. Lucky is “strongly encouraged” to meet Cuichi in the Hermosillo jail.

    C. Against Lucky’s better judgment (that could be a tag line) goes to meet Cuichi in jail. But an imposter is sent in Cuichi’s place.

    D. Lucky evades whatever trap he’s being set up for.

    6. Lucky escapes to the American Consulate, but they try to turn him over to the Federales.

    7. Lucky is told Cuichi died in jail, and somehow the Federales suspect Lucky for the murder of the Jail’s doctor.

    8. Lucky evading the Federales: hides in a brothel where he sees Cuichi.

    9. Cuichi’s Goons (or someone’s goons) now hunt Lucky

    10. Lucky sneaks back into the American Consulate (don’t ask me how) attempts to get info on Cuichi

    11. Lucky convinces the American Consulate officer that he knows where Cuichi ‘s stash is in the US. So FBI agents come to take Lucky back to the US. Only they ain’t FBI

    12. Lucky is taken to the hideaway of a corrupt Sonoran VIP.

    A. Can’t convince VIP he IS NOT in cahoots with Cuichi Valenzuela.

    B. The corrupt VIP inexplicably let’s Lucky go.

    10. The corrupt VIP’s goons are talking Lucky for a “final ride”

    11. Cuichi saves Lucky from the final ride.

    12. When Cuichi sees Lucky is of no value to him, he attempts to kill him

    13. But Lucky has betrayed Cuichi to the corrupt VIP who will harvest Cuichi’s organs for his own personal use.

    14. In return Lucky gets back safely to the US.

    15. Two years later Lucky Grocery shopping in Arizona thinks he Cuichi Valenzuela working at the butcher counter.

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 14, 2023 at 6:56 pm in reply to: Lesson 6

    PETER FELIZ MYSTERY SEQUENCE

    What I learned: originally I based my two characters on myself and an estranged friend. I’m going to have to deviate substantially for these two characters to work also for the purpose of the class I’m going to have to simplify my mysteries, intrigues, and suspense. I’m going to have to adhere more closely to Graham Greene ‘s prototype otherwise I’ll just get too bogged down

    ASSIGNMENT

    Create your mystery sequence. Give us the answer to these questions.

    What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?

    Cuichi Valenzuela is using money he scammed from Arizona retirees to bankroll a Criminal Enterprise in Sonora

    How many ways can they cover that secret?

    1. After scamming retirees, (including Lucky Lunes mother) Cuichi Valenzuela goes into hiding in Sonoran village establishing himself as a “Jefe”

    2. He wires Lucky Lunes HALF the money he scammed from Lucky’s mother and promise to give Lucky the other half plus interest if Lucky meets him in Sonora

    3. To stall extradition surrenders to a Mexican Jail

    4. Cuichi pays jail doctor to alter drug tests to appear that he’s a donor match to a major and very corrupt Sonoran official .

    5. Cuichi capitalizes on confusion and escapes captivatity.

    6. Cuichi lures Lucky to help him get his cache to start a criminal enterprise

    7. Cuichi will dispose of Lucky when he’s no longer necessary.

    8.

    Those become the mysteries.

    The first mystery must engage the Hero into solving it.

    Lucky visits Cuichi in the Mexican jail, but an imposter is sent to meet him instead.

    Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one.

    1. Lucky upon seeing the imposter does not let on about the ruse. Pretends it’s Cuichi and spits on him

    2. Lucky fearing his own safety runs into the American Consulate.

    3. Lucky learns Cuichi is dead and was even more dangerous criminal than he thinks

    4. Lucky is suspected of killing someone associated with Cuichi plan

    5. While Lucky evades his hunters he thinks he sees Cuichi.

    Include ONE Red Herring mystery if you can.

    Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.

    1. While hiding in Sonora with money he scammed from retirees (Including Lucky ‘s mother) Cuichi Valenzuela wires him half the money with the promise of more if Lucky meets him in Sonora.

    2. Lucky goes to the meeting place only to be told Cuichi ‘s been arrested but wants Lucky to visit him in jail.

    3. Lucky goes to the jail visit only to find a imposter taking Cuichi’s place.

    4. Lucky fearing entrapment goes pretends the imposter is Cuichi, spits in his face and leaves

    5. Lucky goes to the only place he thinks is safe and tells the official what has happened

    6. Lucky is told Cuichi was killed in jail

    7. The Mexican Federales want to question Lucky about Cuichi’s criminal activities

    8. Lucky hides out in a brothel where he sees Cuichi

    9. Federales arrest Lucky as a suspect in the murder of the Jail doctor

    10. Lucky is released into the “protective care of a Sonoran political VIP

    Answer the question “What I learned is…?” and put it at the top of your assignment.

    Post your assignment.

    Subject Line: (Your name’s) Mystery Sequence

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 11, 2023 at 5:08 pm in reply to: Lesson 5

    Oops. Forgot to say what I learned today: don’t let myself get bogged down in plausibility. Allow myself to think like a stupid con man. (Not that hard)

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 11, 2023 at 5:04 pm in reply to: Lesson 5

    PETER FELIZ: MY VILLAIN HAS A GREAT PLAN

    ASSIGNMENT

    To create your Villain’s plan, answer these four questions:

    What is the end goal? To become a “kingpin” in Sonora Mexico

    How can the Villain accomplish that in a devious way? Become a valuable asset to a drug cartel leader

    How can they cover it up? He fakes his incarceration in Sonoran jail holding to extradite him to USA for Ponzi scheme. He uses his blood tests to make himself valuable to a dying drug lord as a marrow transplant donor

    Sequence it to make it as intriguing as possible:

    1. While living in Arizona Cuichi Valenzuela cons senior citizens to invest in his Ponzi Scam to a total of $200000.

    2. He uses the $200K as casino money and wins $1.5 mil .

    3. Before the FBI can arrest him he escapes to a family village in Sonora Mexico

    4. He helps his uncle to drug marijuana traffic for a drug lord.

    5. Though He’s caught and jailed, he uses the notorious Mexican beaurocracy to stall FBI extradition.

    6. Cuichi gets a jail doctor to claim that Cuichi is an acceptable transplant donor for an ailing Mexican kingpin to get him out of jail.

    7. The Kingpin has enough power to switch one of his minions in Cuichi ‘s place in jail.

    8. But Lucky Lunes ‘s jail visit disrupts the rise.

    9. Cuichi takes advantage of the calamity to escape both the Authorities and the Mexican kingpin.

    10. Cuichi will use Lucky to get access to his $2,000,000,000 cache.

    11. Cuichi will dispose of Lucky Lunes

    12. Cuichi has observed the local drug kingpin’s operation and notes it has a basic weakness.

    13. Cuichi will attack the kingpin with the aid of villagers and topple the cartel… helping a Sonoran politico become president of Mexico and awards Cuichi immense political and financial power.

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 9, 2023 at 3:34 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    PETER FELIZ THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
    <div>
    </div><div>Logline: A young F.B.I. cadet must confide in an incarcerated and manipulative killer to receive his help on catching another serial killer who skins his victims.
    </div><div>Writers: Thomas Harris (novel), Ted Tally (screenplay)
    </div><div>Lead Characters: Clarice Starling, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Jack Crawford
    </div><div>ASSIGNMENT 2:
    </div><div>1. Watch THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS and fill in the Stacking Suspense Chart.
    </div><div>2. Pause the recording at the conclusion of EVERY SCENE and fill in this information:
    </div><div> – Action of the scene at the bottom of the chart.
    </div><div> – Stakes, if any.
    </div><div> – Anything that shows MIS of the character.
    </div><div> – Any Mystery, Intrigue, or Suspense hat showed up in that scene.
    </div><div>Enjoy the movie and what you learn from it!
    </div><div>Hal Croasmun
    </div><div>Action 1.Clarice Starling training in the woods
    </div><div> 2. Starling is called into Jack Crawford’s office
    </div><div> 3. Dr Chilton briefs starling on Hannibal lecter 4. Starling enters the hell that is the Asylum pit 5. Clarice meets lecter 6. Clarice recalls a pleasant memory of her father in the Asylum parking lot 7. Starling fails a field training test
    </div><div>Mystery Initially she looks like she is in danger. Why is she alone?
    </div><div> Why is Crawford’s office plastered with clippings of Buffalo Bill’s serial killer case?
    </div><div>Why does Crawford want to see her? Why is Chilton hostile to Crawford’s errand girl? How much danger is Clarice in while in the pit? Why does lector want to know what Miggs said to Clarice? Why does the lector attack clarice’s dignity? Why does this pleasant memory distress her?
    </div><div>Intrigue Starling is training alone because she does not fit in with the rest of her class
    </div><div> Starling is an oddball rookie, but Crawford thinks she has special insights and talents ideal for the errand he wants her to undertake Chilton is sexually lecherous, jealous of lecter, and politically insidious This place houses the worst of humanity, yet Clarice demands she goes in alone to see Lecter Lector ponders
    </div><div>Why Crawford sent a rube rookie to interview him Clarice has a haunted childhood Starling is capable of serious & dangerous rookie mistakes
    </div><div>Suspense
    </div><div>Is she fit to be an fbi agent
    </div><div> Is this a test of starlings skills to become an agent?
    </div><div>Is the errand dangerous? Will Chilton prevent Clarice from performing her errand? Will she survive the unrealized horror of the pit. .Miggs yells to her, “I can smell your cunt!” Will lector dismiss Clarice outright? Will she fail her assignment? Will Miggs hurt her? Does lector give her valuable information?
    </div><div> Will her past affect her investigative abilities? Does this foreshadow her peril
    </div><div>Character
    </div><div>MIS
    </div><div>Although Starling is a rookie, she has special insights and skills.
    </div><div> Though Starling is inexperienced she seems to be socially savvy Clarice skillfully maneuvers her way through Chilton Clarice senses she may have an ally here. He is one of the attendance named Barney Clarice and lecter tests each other’s wits and stamina Despite apparent failure with LecterClarice is undeterred
    </div><div>Stakes Starlings ability to become an FBI agent
    </div><div> Starling could easily put herself in occupational Jeopardy Clarice may be unable to do the assignment Clarice’s personal and professional safety Lector dismisses Clarice.Miggs throws semen in clarice’s face. Does lecter give valuable information about Miss Mofet She may have revealed too much of herself to lecter Her safety, her professional future
    </div><div>Action 8. Clarice studies lectors past
    </div><div> 9. Clarice searches the Mofet storage unit 10. Clarice confronts lector about the head in the storage unit 11.Buffalo Bill kidnaps a senator’s daughter 12.As Starling & Crawford go to WVA to examine one of Buffalo Bill’s victims, she developes BB’s profile 13.Clarice & Crawford meet with WVA State Police 14. Clarice flashbacks to her father’s funeral as she waits to examine Buffalo bills victim West Virginia
    </div><div>Mystery Why would lecter give Clarice a clue after Miggs attached her?
    </div><div> Who owned the unit? Is it a booby trap Why does Lecter convince Miggs to swallow his tongue?How does Lester know that Clarice had been bleeding?
    </div><div>What does the head in the storage unit have to do with Buffalo Bill? How much of what lector is telling her is the truth? Will she fall into Bill’s trap?
    </div><div>Why does Bill ask what her dress size is?
    </div><div>Why does Buffalo Bill kidnap her instead of killing her outright? Is her assessment accurate?
    </div><div>Will she continue on with the BB case? Why does Crawford demean Clarice to the patrolmen? Why did Clarice’s Father die when she was so young
    </div><div>Intrigue Even though Lecter assaults clarice’s dignity he seems Miggs attack offensive and awards Clarice with a clue.
    </div><div> Lector owns the storage unit. This is where store the head of Lawrence raspanel one of Buffalo bills victims. Lector proposes quid pro quo for aiding in the capture of Buffalo Bill. She must tell him about her worst childhood memories, and he provides her with Buffalo bills motive Buffalo Bill is obsessed his victims size and conditions of their skin Crawford is weighing the political and procedural liabilities of having Clarice continue with the case
    </div><div> The state police do not want the FBI to interfere with the body discovery. Clarice ran away from her adoptive parents shortly afterwards
    </div><div>Suspense
    </div><div> Is this a booby trap? Is there any way to manipulate Hannibal Lecter Will Buffalo Bill kidnapped this girl? What does he intend to do with her? Is Clarice an asset or liability in BB case?
    </div><div> Can Clarice possibly gain the respect of the West Virginia State Police men?
    </div><div>Character
    </div><div>MIS Lecter has developed an odd affinity for Clarice.
    </div><div>Clarice is able to decipher Lecter’s riddles and anagrams
    </div><div> Clarice demonstrates quick thinking ingenuity getting the storage unit open.
    </div><div>Lector Gibbs Clarice something valuable Lecter is devising his way out of Chilton’s asylum Buffalo Bill is an experienced and methodical serial killer Crawford may not appear so, but he’s a shrewd political animal as well as a top FBI superior.
    </div><div> Clarice has no respect with the West Virginia State Police
    </div><div>Stakes
    </div><div> Clarice’s life The kidnap victims life. Buffalo Bill might get caught
    </div><div> Politics vs investigative process Clarice’s professional standing. The FBI standing with the state police. Clarice’s sanity
    </div><div>Action 15. Clarice starling stands up to the West Virginia State patrolmen and Gain their utmost respect
    </div><div> 16. Clarice and Crawford examined the body 17. Crawford tries to explain why he slighted Clarice to the West Virginia police 18. Clarice delivers the cocoon to the entomologists. 19. Buffalo Bill is sewing while his kidnapping victim languishes in a pit 20.Newsvreport Buffalo Bill kidnapped the daughter of a Tennessee senator 21. Clarice goes to the Asylum to offer lector a deal
    </div><div>Mystery
    </div><div>Why does Clarice speak to them a Southern school marm?
    </div><div> How and why does Buffalo Bill choose victimsr? Why are her hands mutilated as if she’s been clawing?
    </div><div>What’s in her throat?
    </div><div> What is the cocoon and why is it significant? What is Buffalo bills sewing? Why is Catherine still alive? Why does senator keep repeating Catherine’s name in the news interview? Lector demands quid pro quo for his cooperation.
    </div><div>She must reveal her worst childhood experiences.
    </div><div>Is Buffalo Bill a transsexual?
    </div><div>Intrigue Clarice knows intuitively brutish Southern men innately respect their grandmothers
    </div><div> Starling discovers Bug cocoon in victim’s throat. Victim’s hands are mutilated as if she had been trying to call her way out of something. Victim skin is removed from her back and buttocks area
    </div><div> Crawford no longer intimidates Clarice. She is fully self confident of her abilities now Buffalo Bill is stuffing people’s throats with death head moth cocoons Buffalo Bill plans to kill Catherine and make a costume of her skin
    </div><div> The senator is remarkably savvy even in this desperate situation Clarice is offering a fake deal. Chilton is listening into their conversation
    </div><div>Suspense She may fail
    </div><div> Is Sterling proving herself as an FBI agent Time is ticking on new victim’s life Can Catherine escape before bill kills her
    </div><div> Clarice May weaken herself in lector’s eyes can she trust lectors information
    </div><div>Character
    </div><div>MIS
    </div><div>What Clarice lacks in field experience she makes up for in ingenuity and Southern intuition
    </div><div> Starling is now sure of herself and her value to Jack Crawford Clarice makes crystal clear what Crawford says of her matters Clarice handles herself well with the amorous entomologists What is Buffalo bills psychosis
    </div><div> Clarice is honesty about the slaughter of the lambs gives Lecter respect for her.
    </div><div>Stakes
    </div><div>Cooperation with the West Virginia State Police
    </div><div> They’re losing time saving Buffalo bills new kidnap victim The relationship between Crawford and Clarice Catherine’s life Catherine’s life The clock is ticking on Catherine’s life
    </div><div>Action 22. Buffalo Bill makes Catherine put lotion on her skin
    </div><div> 23. Dr Chilton taunts Lecter 24.Lector is transferred to Tennessee 25.Senator Martin confronts Lecter 26. Clarice sneaks in to meet with lector 27.Clarice makes a desperate attempt to get Lecter’s knowledge of Buffalo Bill. 28. Lector effects escape from the jail cell
    </div><div>Mystery
    </div><div>Why must she lubricate herself?
    </div><div>Why are there bloody scratches & fingernails on the pit walls?
    </div><div> How will Chilton manipulate laughter? What is lectors interest in Chilton’s pen Is security tight enough to neutralize Lector?
    </div><div>What happened to Chilton’s pen? Does Lecter tell senator Martin the truth about Buffalo Bill?
    </div><div>Why does Lecter inject lurid taunts at senator well giving her information? Will she be caught Why must continue the Quid Pro Quo with Lecter?
    </div><div>What is Buffalo Bill’s nature?
    </div><div> What is the object they removes from inside his mouth?
    </div><div>Intrigue Buffalo Bill is a sexual sadist
    </div><div> Chilton tells lector that clarice’s deal was a fake. But Chilton has made a real deal of his own. Lector is unfazed by Chilton’s taunts Lecter sizes up his chances of escaping Lectors speaking in half truths and codes he knows that Clarice will decipher Clarice deciphers “Louis Friend”
    </div><div> Clarice confesses her childhood inability to stop the lamb slaughter. Lector is genuinely grateful on hearing her confession Let her knows the guards are careless and underestimate
    </div><div>Him
    </div><div>Suspense Bill is taunting Catherine. He’s getting ready to kill her
    </div><div> Lecter is planning his escape Is Lecter truly neutralized?
    </div><div> How much of what Lecter tells the senator will be helpful to save Catherine? She must evade people who know her as she sneaks into to see Lecter
    </div><div> Clarice may not catch the information she needs to capture Buffalo Bill Will let her escape? Will he kill his guards? How will he escape the building?
    </div><div>Character
    </div><div>MIS
    </div><div> Lecter is far more clever than Chilton Lecter though straight jacketed & muzzled is still a deadly threat Lector is not really speaking to the senator but to Clarice Clarice is far more clever than everyone securing and neutralizing Lecter
    </div><div> Lector capitalizes on the police’s ineptitude
    </div><div>Stakes Catherine’s life
    </div><div> Chilton if Lecter escapes Chilton might figure his missing pen is Lecter’s doing Catherine has one day left to live Clarice may get caught trying to get to Lecter. Catherine’s life
    </div><div>Clarice’s career The guards lives. Lectors life
    </div><div>Action 29. Lecter escapes through the elevator
    </div><div> 30.Lecter escapes ambulance 31.Clarice with clues from Lector discovers that Buffalo Bill knew his first victim 32.Buffalo Bill cosplays with skin remnants while Catherine tries to lure his poodle into the pit with her 33.FBI swarm in on Buffalo Bill’s Chicago house 34.Clarice confronts Buffalo Bill 35.Clarice graduates the FBI academy
    </div><div>Mystery Police find one guard’s body mutilated.The other guard barely alive but where is Lecter? Blood coming from elevator roof, Lecter?
    </div><div> The severely wounded guard is not as he seems What will Clarice find in first victim’s house Is Bill ritualizing prior to murdering Catherine? Is he grabbing a death head moth? Has Catherine lured poodle into pit Is this really where Bill is? Who is she getting a phone call from?
    </div><div>Intrigue Lecter misdirects to escape
    </div><div> Fredrick Bimmel (Bills first victim) was a seamstess as is Buffalo Bill. As Clarice informs Crawford, he says Bill is Jamie Gumm The Chicago house is a red herring.
    </div><div> It’s Lecter. He warns her not to try to find him.
    </div><div>Suspense
    </div><div>Will police find Lector before he escapes custody.
    </div><div> Guard reveals himself as Lecter Will Clarice’s newfound info save Catherine Bill is preparing to kill Catherine. The police swarm in but the house is empty. Crawford realizes he’s leaving Clarice vulnerable if she confronts Bill on her own
    </div><div> Bill uses night vision goggles to hunt Clarice who is blinded by the dark Lector is hunting Dr Chilton who’s on vacation
    </div><div>Character
    </div><div>MIS
    </div><div> Crawford doesn’t want Starling to go to Chicago.Instead
    </div><div>He orders her to further investigate Bimmels’ town Bill’ preps ritually. Catherine uses the poodle as leverage to save herself
    </div><div> Lecter plans to “have a friend for dinner “ as he follows Chiliton
    </div><div>Stakes
    </div><div>Everyone in Tennessee if Lecter succeeds
    </div><div> Lecter at large the world is unsafe Solving Catherine’s kidnapping or her murder Will Bill kill her anyway Catherine, Clarice and Bill are in mortal danger Clarice, Catherine, Bill & the poodle Chilton fricassee
    </div><div>Your forum won’t accept my Android Word freeware format. Sorry I’ll deal with this later</div><div>
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  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 9, 2023 at 3:15 pm in reply to: Lesson 4

    PETER FELIZ BI Stacking Suspense
    <div>
    </div><div>THRILLER CONVENTION: Crime Thriller, Sexual Thriller, Psychological Thriller.</div><div>CHARACTERS WITH MIS: Detective Nick Curran, Catherine Trammel, Dr Beth Garner</div><div>MIS OF EVERY SCENE: Sorry time constraints. I will note later.</div><div>
    </div><div>MIS is often thought of as Character backstory. But that’s not enough to propel a story. Intrigue: character acts pro or counter to his/her back story. Suspense: character’s actions or inaction will gravely affect the fate of others. </div><div>The use of clues to peel away the characters ‘ base natures.</div><div>The more we learn about each character the dangerous they become</div><div>Sorry for the brevity. In the middle of a minor life crisis good/not so good. But instructive</div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 6, 2023 at 1:48 am in reply to: Lesson 3

    PETER FELIZ “THE WORLD & CHARACTERS OF MY THRILLER”

    ASSIGNMENT

    PETER FELIZ Tentative movie title: BEADY EYES

    1. WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT? The big question: Why would Lucky Lunes endanger himself for a fair weather friend?

    Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story?

    When Lucky Lunes visits His estranged friend Cuichi Valenzuela in a Mexican jail an imposter takes Cuichi’s place. Where is Cuichi Valenzuela? Why is he missing?

    Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded part that will live under the surface for most of the movie? A Mexican Cartel kingpin needs Cuichi alive? and Lucky’s friendly visit has jeopardized that. What is Lucky’s reason for wanting to visit Cuichi in jail?

    Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? Lucky Lunes can’t trust anyone in Mexico but can’t find any place safe.

    2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.

    Sonora Mexico, it’s metropolis Hermosillo and its rural desert and beaches. Nothing and no one is as seems and nothing and no one is safe there.

    3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:

    A. What is the mystery of this character?

    The Hero: Lucky Lunes.

    Why is he being duped when he attempts to visit Cuichi Valenzuela in a Mexican jail? Who is pursuing him and why? But the big mystery is What is really compelling Lucky Lunes to meet with his estranged friend Cuichi Valenzuela.

    B. What is the suspense of this character? Lucky Lunes ‘s reason for finding Cuichi Valenzuela may not be altruistic.

    C. What is the intrigue of this character? As naive as Lucky seems, why would he invite danger looking for Cuichi Valenzuela?

    A. What is the mystery of this character?

    The Villain: Cuichi Valenzuela.

    Why did he end up in Sonora? Why did he end up in jail? And how did he become missing? And is he dead.

    B. What is the suspense of this character?

    Is or was Cuichi Valenzuela more than just a petty con man?

    C. What is the intrigue of this character? Is Cuichi responsible for all the danger Lucky Lunes is in

    C.

    4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 6, 2023 at 1:42 am in reply to: Lesson 3

    PETER FELIZ “WORLD & CHARACTERS OF A THRILLER

    ASSIGNMENT

    PETER FELIZ Tentative movie title: BEADY EYES

    1. WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT? The big question: Why would Lucky Lunes endanger himself for a fair weather friend?

    Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? When Lucky Lunes visits His estranged friend Cuichi Valenzuela in a Mexican jail an imposter takes Cuichi’s place. Where is Cuichi Valenzuela? Why is he missing?

    Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded part that will live under the surface for most of the movie? A Mexican Cartel kingpin needs Cuichi alive, and Lucky’s friendly visit has jeopardized that. What is Lucky’s reason for wanting to visit Cuichi in jail.

    Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? Lucky Lunes can’t trust anyone in Mexico but can’t find any place safe.

    2. Tell us the Intriguing World you have selected for this story.

    Sonora Mexico, it’s metropolis Hermosillo and the desert rural and beaches. Nothing and no one is safe there.

    3. With your top 2 or 3 characters, tell us the role they play and then answer these three questions:

    A. What is the mystery of this character?

    The Hero: Lucky Lunes.

    Why is he being duped when he attempts to visit Cuichi Valenzuela in a Mexican jail? Who is pursuing him and why? But the big mystery is What is really compelling Lucky Lunes to meet with his estranged friend Cuichi Valenzuela.

    B. What is the suspense of this character? Lucky Lunes ‘s reason for finding Cuichi Valenzuela may not be altruistic.

    C. What is the intrigue of this character? As naive as Lucky seems, why would he invite danger looking for Cuichi Valenzuela?

    A. What is the mystery of this character?

    The Villain: Cuichi Valenzuela.

    Why did he end up in Sonora? Why did he end up in jail? And how did he become missing? And is he dead.

    B. What is the suspense of this character?

    Is or was Cuichi Valenzuela more than just a petty con man?

    C. What is the intrigue of this character? Is Cuichi responsible for all the danger Lucky Lunes is in.

    4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 4, 2023 at 2:03 pm in reply to: Lesson 2

    PETER FELIZ THE BIG MIS<div>
    </div><div>What I learned doing this assignment is…?”</div><div>
    </div><div>I still haven’t figured out solidly my big intrigue</div><div>
    </div><div>1. What are the conventions of your story?</div><div>
    </div><div>Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Lucky Lunes, food blogger and sometime casino lizard</div></div><div>
    </div><div>Dangerous Villain: Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s high school pal, possible drug mule</div></div><div>
    </div><div><div>High stakes: Lucky is pursued by a Mexican Cartel, the Federales </div></div><div>
    </div><div><div>Life and death situations: Lucky almost ends up in a Mexican jail, almost killed by cartel thugs, almost maimed by a casino boss, and may be killed by Cuichi Valenzuela </div><div>This story is thrilling because? Lucky Lunes can’t trust anyone especially his estranged friend Cuichi Valenzuela as long as he is in Mexico</div></div><div>
    </div><div><div>2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?</div><div></div><div></div><div>Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Where is Cuichi Valenzuela and is he a ruthless criminal </div><div></div><div></div><div>Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie?</div><div>Though it appears Cuichi Valenzuela may have been killed in prison. It also seems like Cuichi is alive and he is working with the Federales on a shaky or shady plan to topple a Mexican drug cartel</div><div></div><div></div><div>Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? How can Lucky Lunes escape danger and get out of Mexico </div><div>3. Answer the question “and put it at the top of your work.</div><div></div><div></div><div>4. Post your assignment in the forums.</div><div></div><div></div><div>Subject line: (Your name’s) Big M.I.S. (place in first line)</div><div></div><div></div><div>Deadline: 48 hours</div></div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 4, 2023 at 3:17 am in reply to: Lesson 2

    <div>PETER FELIZ THE BIG MIS</div>

    What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

    I still haven’t figured out solidly my big intrigue

    1. What are the conventions of your story?

    <div>Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Lucky Lunes, food blogger and sometime casino lizard</div>

    <div>Dangerous Villain: Cuichi Valenzuela, Lucky’s high school pal, possible drug mule</div>

    <div>High stakes: Lucky is pursued by a Mexican Cartel, the Federales </div>

    <div>Life and death situations: Lucky almost ends up in a Mexican jail, almost killed by cartel thugs, almost maimed by a casino boss, and may be killed by Cuichi Valenzuela </div><div>This story is thrilling because? Lucky Lunes can’t trust anyone especially his estranged friend Cuichi Valenzuela as long as he is in Mexico</div>

    <div>2. Tell us the Big M.I.S. of your story?</div><div>
    </div><div>Big Mystery: What is the main mystery of your story that will keep us wondering throughout the story? Where is Cuichi Valenzuela and is he a ruthless criminal </div><div>
    </div><div>Big Intrigue: What is the covert, clandestine, underhanded plot that will live under the surface for most of the movie?</div><div>Though it appears Cuichi Valenzuela may have been killed in prison. It also seems like Cuichi is alive and he is working with the Federales on a shaky or shady plan to topple a Mexican drug cartel</div><div>
    </div><div>Big Suspense: What is the main danger to your Hero that will continue to escalate throughout the script? How can Lucky Lunes escape danger and get out of Mexico </div><div>3. Answer the question “and put it at the top of your work.</div><div>
    </div><div>4. Post your assignment in the forums.</div><div>
    </div><div>Subject line: (Your name’s) Big M.I.S. (place in first line)</div><div>
    </div><div>Deadline: 48 hours</div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    August 2, 2023 at 1:04 am in reply to: Lesson 1

    <div>THE THIRD MAN BY GRAHAM GREENE </div>

    Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Holly Martins an unsuccessful pulp fiction writer who has been contacted by his school chum to meet him in Vienna for a money making proposition

    <div>Dangerous Villain: Harry Lime, Holly’s friend and accused black marketeer </div><div>
    </div><div>High stakes: Holly is too blinded by his devotion to Harry Lime to see Harry’s’s truly criminal. Holly’s life is threatened by the occupying, American, Russian, British, German police. Accused of murdering a porter, Holly is hunted by thugs, Anna (Harry Limes girlfriend) is arrested, Vienna is plagued with contaminated with diluted penicillin. Will Harry’s girl friend forgive Holly?</div><div>
    </div><div>Life and death situations: Anna is arrested. Holly is hunted by a mob. Holly thinks he’s being kidnapped.Anna reveals Holly’s betrayal. Harry kills a policeman. Harry is hunted in the sewer. Holly has a gunfight with Harry in the sewer</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>This movie is thrilling because? Blind loyalty becomes blind outrage</div><div>
    </div><div>3. What is the BIG Mystery, Intrigue, and Suspense of this story? Who was the Third Man who witnessed Harry Lime die. Was his death accidental? And did Harry really die</div><div>
    </div><div>Big Mystery: How evil was Harry Lime</div><div>
    </div><div>Big Intrigue: Harry Like faked his death </div><div>
    </div><div>Big Suspense: Is Harry Lime evil enough to kill his best friend, Holly Martins </div><div>
    </div><div>4. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great thriller? The movie skillfully underplays EVERYTHING! Even the musical score is devoid of Suspense staccato. Instead it’s lyrically melancholy zither music. And yet it’s still intensely thrilling</div><div>
    </div><div>5. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” “The Third Man” is betrayal. </div>

  • Peter Feliz

    Member
    July 31, 2023 at 9:35 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    I, Peter Feliz agree to the confidentiality agreement and the group release form.

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