PJ Doremus
Forum Replies Created
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PJ’s Transformational Journey
I learned that I will accomplish nothing if I don’t put in the time.1. Done, thank you!
2. Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?
Internal Journey: From a selfish sex addict to a caring and monogamous partner.
External Journey: From an unrecognized scientist to the savior of the human race.
3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?
Joanna’s old ways.Sleeps with students then fails them, ignores her responsibilities, grumbles about the daily grind, lies to Assistant about her true feelings of love.
Joanna’s new ways: Is monogamous to Assistant, leads the operation to stop Slayton, is satisfied with her role at work, opens up her true feelings to Assistant. -
PJ has completed the BW Framework!
Creating this framework has inspired me to constantly refine my concept, conflict and characters resulting in profound breakthroughs in the evolution of my project, which is a Sci-Fi/Drama that combines elements of post-apocalyptic fiction, adventure, and some elements of mystery and thriller genres.
PJdoremus108@gmail.com for those who would like to connect and possibly exchange work.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by PJ Doremus.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by
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PJ’s Show Mysteries
I’ve discovered the significance of revisiting completed assignments and consistently updating character profiles and relationship maps to enhance the evolving depth of my work.
Mystery 1 – Opening Shocking Event Mystery: Sera, in an attempt to communicate with intelligence in deep space, unleashes an enormous force that is on course to swallow the Earth in 48 hours.
A. **Shocking Event:** Sera’s attempt to contact extraterrestrial intelligence triggers a cataclysmic event, set to engulf Earth in 48 hours.
B. **Secret:** Sera’s experiment was part of a secret plan orchestrated by an unknown entity from the parallel universe known as Andromeda.
C. **Investigation:** Sera discovers her trusted ally was manipulating her for a personal agenda, revealing hidden motives behind her groundbreaking revelation.
What: Earth is in direct collision course with an approaching entity from deep space.
When: 48 hours
Where: Global event.
Why: Because Sera cracked the mind code and summoned them.
How: By decoding consciousness.
Part Withheld:
Who is it? An intelligent life form? Evil? Anomaly?
What is it? It’s big. Like a solar system.
Mystery 2 – Ongoing Over-Time Mystery: There is an intricate plan for Sera to traverse the Galaxy Sweladia in order to reunite with her soul twin and transcend and become God, leader of the Universe.
A. **Cover up:** The government, after allowing Sera to trigger the crisis, conceals the true nature of the impending cataclysm to manipulate Sera into complying with the grand scheme.
B. **Secret:** Unbeknownst to Sera, her doppelgänger from the medieval world holds the key to stabilizing the cosmic imbalance and preventing Humanity’s destruction.
C. **Reveals:** Sera discovers that Vorticia knew her research would result in the entity being unleashed and that Price is involved as well. She learns that soul hunters are after her and that a huge bounty is on her soul. She realizes that Price is willing to die for her. She learns that every human has a Sweladian twin who is waiting for their soul and that her soul twin is involved with an illegal soul trafficking operation. Slowly she uncovers a nefarious plot orchestrated by forces within the parallel universe with collaboration from people close to her. This scheme threatens to exterminate love from the universe, allowing evil to prevail. Each revelation brings her closer to understanding the true extent of the cosmic conspiracy that not only endangers her destiny but also the very essence of humanity.
What: A conspiracy to banish love from the Universe
When: As soon as possible.
Where: The galaxy Sweladia.
Why: So that Evil can prevail.
Part withheld:
How: The secret to stopping to diabolical plot is deliberately bering withheld from Sera.
Who: She learns there is a key, but who holds it?
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PJ’s Show Empathy/Distress<div>
This exercise provided me with valuable insights into Sera’s character, and it has also generated compelling material for future episodes, particularly in terms of developing intricate relationship dynamics. </div><div>
Note: Protagonist name change from Rhea to Sera, short for Seraphina.
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A. Undeserved Misfortune
Sera finds herself bereft of her life’s work when her laboratory, the culmination of her efforts, is lost. She fails at her life’s work due to concealed information, discovering that she was manipulated to initiate a perilous game.
B. External Character Conflicts </div>
Sera’s preference for Elizabeth’s judgment over Dravens’ leads to his abduction along with Charlotte, eliciting a profound sense of distress.
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C. Plot Intruding on life </div>
Sera, along with Albert, Draven, Troi, Jon, and Amelia, is abruptly thrust into a medieval realm infested with soul-thirsty doppelgängers.
Pursued by Soul Hunters seeking the substantial bounty on Sera and Draven’s souls, Price rebels against Sera’s quest to rescue Draven and Charlotte, arguing for enhancing the mission’s success odds.
Sera experiences the loss of Amelia and witnesses souls being seized and transported away.
Price eliminates a Soul Hunter, securing the soul and a precious stone, which he then presents to Sera, stipulating that she must be willing to commit the ultimate act.D. Moral dilemmas
Sera opts to follow Price over Elizabeth, a choice that severs her bond with Elizabeth and inaugurates her initial adversarial connection in Purgatory.
Sera is also compelled to allow Charlotte to be taken by Cronus, a decision laden with moral implications.<div>
E. Coerced Choices Contrary to Character </div>Sera, despite her prior stance against sacrificing individuals for personal gain, elects to claim Troi’s soul in exchange for the power needed to triumph in a confrontation.
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PJ’s relationships.
This task has enlightened me to the importance of fostering stronger connections within a complex web of conflicts that may unfold over extended periods.
Sera’s Relationship Dynamics:
1. Sera and Draven:
– Surface: Closest friends, inseparable, partners in The Mind Code.
– Common Ground: Twin siblings, both geniuses.
– Conflict: Draven doubts the Mind Code’s potential for anything other than harm.
– History: They grew up isolated together.
– Subtext: Sera is concerned about Draven’s mental well-being.
– Relationship Arc: Transitioning from codependent siblings to becoming the most sought-after figures in Purgatory.
2. Sera and Elizabeth:
– Surface: Elizabeth is Rhea’s mentor and the financier of the Mind Code project.
– Common Ground: Both believe the Mind Code can alleviate human suffering.
– Conflict: Elizabeth aims to perfect the Mind Code for personal gain, while Sera wants to use it for the benefit of humanity.
– History: Elizabeth has steadfastly supported Sera.
– Subtext: Sera conveys a sense of superiority towards Elizabeth.
– Relationship Arc: Evolving from mentorship to a more complex, adversarial relationship.
3. Sera and Price:
– Surface: Price has been closely investigating Sera’s code for an extended period.
– Common Ground: Both are exceptionally stubborn.
– Conflict: Price seeks access to Sera’s code, but she refuses.
– History: Price has been monitoring Sera since she demonstrated consciousness.
– Subtext: Sera finds solace in Price’s presence.
– Relationship Arc: Progressing from investigator and investigated to determined allies united against Purgatory.
4. Sera and Albert:
– Surface: Albert is Sera’s grandfather and confidant.
– Common Ground: They share a belief in extraterrestrial intelligence.
– Conflict: Sera yearns for Albert’s belief in her.
– History: Albert played a crucial role in Sera’s education.
– Subtext: Sera keeps certain facts concealed from Albert.
– Relationship Arc: Transforming from mentor and protege to a more protective, grandfatherly bond.
5. Sera and Charlotte:
– Surface: Mother and daughter.
– Common Ground: Both aspire to communicate with extraterrestrial intelligence.
– Conflict: Charlotte harbors distrust towards Elizabeth.
– History: Charlotte maintained a strict, controlling environment for Sera.
– Subtext: Sera resents her mother for the isolation she endured.
– Relationship Arc: Shifting from a strained mother-daughter connection to a deeper, loving bond.
6. Sera and Troi:
– Surface: A famous person and her bodyguard.
– Common Ground: Both prioritize their safety.
– Conflict: Troi exhibits an overprotective nature.
– History: Troi has stood by Sera since their college days.
– Subtext: Troi holds romantic feelings for Sera.
– Relationship Arc: Moving from a trusted bodyguard to apparent betrayal and abandonment.
7. Sera and Avaya:
– Surface: Soul Twins.
– Common Ground: They need each other to transcend.
– Conflict: They harbor intense hatred for one another.
– History: Avaya is privy to all of Sera’s actions and resents her for them.
– Subtext: Sera yearns for Avaya’s acceptance and forgiveness.
– Relationship Arc: Transitioning from discovering each other to outright animosity.
Draven’s Relationship Dynamics:
1. Draven and Albert:
– Surface: Grandson and grandfather.
– Common Ground: They have been together for an extended time.
– Conflict: Draven feels envious of the attention Albert bestows on Sera.
– History: Albert has been a significant figure in Draven’s life.
– Subtext: Bitter resentment lingers.
– Relationship Arc: Evolving from a typical grandfather-grandson relationship to becoming battle-hardened allies.
2. Draven and Elizabeth:
– Surface: Boss and employee.
– Common Ground: Both support Sera’s research.
– Conflict: Draven suspects Elizabeth has ulterior motives.
– History: Elizabeth accepts Draven primarily because of his association with Sera.
– Subtext: Draven conceals information from Elizabeth.
– Relationship Arc: Progressing from boss-employee dynamics to a situation where they are being hunted by and hunting each other.
3. Draven and Price:
– Surface: Mentor and protege.
– Common Ground: Both are dedicated to protecting Sera.
– Conflict: Price is training Draven for a mysterious purpose he cannot reveal.
– History: Price has taken Draven under his wing.
– Subtext: Price holds Draven in high regard, akin to a son.
– Relationship Arc: Transitioning from a father-son dynamic fraught with tension to a formidable, united fighting duo.
4. Draven and Cronus:
– Surface: Soul Twins.
– Common Ground: They are interdependent for their transcendence.
– Conflict: They cannot love each other despite their deep longing.
– History: Their lives have been marked by a profound yearning for each other.
– Subtext: Draven aims to prove himself to his twin.
– Relationship Arc: Shifting from longing to an urgent, indispensable need.
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PJ’s Character Emotions
This assignment has assisted me in honing the attributes of my primary characters, simultaneously providing a valuable opportunity to enrich and gain deeper insights into my supporting characters.
SERA, 27, stands as a brilliant cognitive neuroscientist, revered for her groundbreaking revelation that human consciousness is, in actuality, an intricate digital code linked to an entity residing in the Andromeda Galaxy. This discovery has propelled her to global recognition as “The Chosen One,” a contemporary messianic figure, driven by the belief that her Mind Code possesses the power to reprogram the collective human consciousness, liberating it from the shackles of violence.
A. ROLE: Protagonist tasked with embarking on a transformative journey through Purgatory, navigating six profound obstacles linked to the chakras, and ultimately ascending to rescue humanity from its impending doom.
M. SITUATIONAL HOPES AND FEARS: Sera’s journey is marked by a fervent hope to establish a connection with an extraterrestrial intelligence in deep space, juxtaposed with the haunting fear of encountering malevolence.
N. MOTIVATIONS WANT/NEED: Sera’s primary motivation centers on a desire to demonstrate that science can elucidate all aspects of existence, accompanied by a need for respect and validation.
O. MASK: Rooted in profound loneliness, Sera outwardly projects a veneer of unyielding confidence.
P. WEAKNESSES: Trust issues, stemming from her fatherless upbringing, represent a significant vulnerability that continues to influence her actions.
Q. TRIGGERS: The experience of being proven wrong serves as a potent trigger, compelling Sera to delve into her psyche in search of a solution.
R. COPING STRATEGY: In the face of challenges, Sera resorts to introspection, delving into her own psyche to unravel the path forward.
DRAVEN, 27, serves as Sera’s twin brother, trailing behind her by a mere 108 seconds, and is her partner in the intricate Mind Code Project.
A. ROLE: Draven’s role aligns with that of a devoted sidekick, embodying the one individual in Sera’s world whom she cannot afford to lose.
M. SITUATIONAL HOPES AND FEARS: He fervently hopes for Sera’s successful completion of her research but fears potential negative outcomes.
N. MOTIVATION: Draven’s motivation centers on the aspiration to earn the Nobel Peace Prize, a goal closely tied to the need to prove his worthiness to Sera.
O. MASK: Rooted in feelings of inadequacy, he projects a public persona characterized by a carefree disposition.
P. WEAKNESSES: Draven is notably threatened by powerful female figures, a vulnerability that can influence his actions and decisions.
Q. TRIGGERS: Being proven wrong serves as a potent trigger for Draven.
R. COPING STRATEGY: Faced with challenging situations, Draven often adopts a nonchalant attitude that downplays the significance of the issue at hand.
ELIZABETH DENETH, 46, serves as the founder of Deneth Corporation, a pivotal financial supporter of Sera’s research endeavors since their inception.
A. ROLE : Elizabeth assumes the role of the Contagonist, a figure whose actions often run counter to the protagonist’s objectives.
M. SITUATIONAL HOPE AND FEAR: Elizabeth aspires to initiate the project through Rhea’s involvement, yet harbors the fear that Rhea may outwit her, achieving transcendence before she does.
N. MOTIVATION WANT/NEED: Her driving force is the unwavering ambition to become the wealthiest woman in the universe, underpinned by relentless determination to succeed.
O. MASK: Originating from feelings of inferiority, Elizabeth projects an unwavering facade of confidence, expertly utilizing manipulation as a guise.
P. WEAKNESSES: Jealousy is a notable vulnerability that can influence her actions and decisions.
Q. TRIGGERS: Disobedience acts as a potent trigger for Elizabeth, provoking strong and calculated reactions.
R. COPING MECHANISM: In the face of challenges to her authority, Elizabeth turns to manipulation as a means of retaliation, wielding it as a powerful coping mechanism.
PRICE, 44, is a mysterious agent hailing from an undisclosed government agency, and he carries an air of age and resilience that defies his years.
A. ROLE: Price assumes the role of the deuteragonist and serves as an agent of The Akashic Library, the governing force in Purgatory.
M. SITUATIONAL HOPE/FEAR: Price harbors a hope to eliminate evil from the universe by aiding Sera in her transcendence, while simultaneously fearing that his efforts will falter, allowing evil to prevail.
N. MOTIVATIONS: His desire for a peaceful existence fuels Price’s motivation, but he is also driven by the need to succeed in his mission and atone for past errors.
O. MASK: Behind a façade of confidence and unwavering leadership lies a core of frustration, carefully hidden from the public eye.
P. WEAKNESSES: Price’s notable weakness lies in his tendency to be drawn to women with unresolved father issues, displaying a distinctive compassion.
Q. TRIGGERS: Disobedience serves as a prominent trigger for Price’s intense reactions.
R. COPING MECHANISM: In the face of distressing situations, Price’s response often takes the form of violent outbursts.
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What I learned doing this assignment: Delving into these character traits compelled me to revisit my original concept and has provided profound insight into the broader narrative of the series.
Dr. RHEA Smith, a 27-year-old cognitive neuroscientist, has conclusively demonstrated that human consciousness is intricately connected to advanced digital coding linked to an entity in the Andromeda Galaxy. This groundbreaking revelation has sparked global outrage and fervent protests worldwide. Many now regard her as “The Chosen One,” a modern-day messiah, convinced that her “Mind Code” can reprogram collective consciousness to eradicate violence.
Role: Hero
Hidden agendas: To fall in love.
Competition: Draven and Edward collaborate without her.
Conspiracies: To alter the Mind Code at the collective level and wipe out violence.
Secrets: Isn’t a virgin after all.
Deception: Plays along with the Messiah gig to tap into the Mind Code.
Wound: Father is supposedly not from this world, a notion she resents and longs to know who he is. She lost the love of her life to her research.
Secret Identity: A cold blooded killer?
AVAYA, Rhea’s doppelganger. Apposed to allowing Earth into Sweladia because she believes humans are not worthy of love.
Role: The key to saving the universe.
Hidden agendas: To fall in love and live a simple life.
Competition: Rhea, of course.
Conspiracies: She is going to claim
Secrets: She dusted Rhea’s lost love and sent his soul to the lost, causing the loss.
Deception: She does not feel worthy of the role of God.
Wound: The loss of the love of Rhea’s life, which is in fact her loss too.
Secret Identity:
EDWARD, 46, founder of The Deneth Corporation which has funded Rhea’s research since the beginning and is Rhea’s mentor and ally.
Character Name: Edward Deneth
Role: Antagonist
Hidden agendas: Wants to reunite with Cronus and rule the Universe.
Competition: Rhea and Logan who are favored to transcend and become God.
Conspiracies: Plans to claim Rhea’s and Draven’s soul to allow evil to prevail in the Universe.
Secrets: Has known from the beginning that Rhea’s research would trigger the end.
Deception: He claims to be a religious and good man but is in fact the root of evil.
Wound: He killed his father for the money to create Deneth Corporation.
Secret Identity: He is an agent of Evil and has insight into the plight of mankind.
CRONUS, Edwards doppelganger, antagonist, represents Evil as The Soul Trafficker, the most wanted man in Sweladia.
Role: Antagonist
Hidden agendas: Cronus wants the Universe to remain Godless so that his soul trafficking operation along with his soul addiction stay in tact.
Competition: He competes with Rhea and her allies in a deadly battle of wits and powers.
Conspiracies: To use the alchemists formula of souls to transcend as evil.
Secrets: Is a soul monger.
Deception: Cronus uses deception to manipulate and control the events in Sweladia and maintain his status as the most wanted man.
Wound:
Secret Identity:
DRAVEN, 27, serves as Rhea’s twin brother and holds the distinction of being 108 seconds younger and the sole individual with superior intellect to Rhea. Despite their sharp differences, he collaborates with her as her research partner in the Mind Code project.
Role: Sidekick
Hidden agendas: Draven may have his own motivations for the Mind Code research, which could conflict with Rhea’s goals.
Competition: Sibling rivalry and competition arise as Draven’s intelligence challenges Rhea’s status as the most brilliant mind in the field.
Conspiracies: Draven’s role in the Mind Code project might involve him in larger conspiracies and secrets that he is unaware of.
Secrets: He holds secrets about the research, Mind Code, and his unique relationship with Rhea.
Deception: Draven may hide his true feelings or intentions from Rhea and the others, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.
Wound: Past experiences or conflicts between the siblings have left emotional scars that influence their interactions.
Secret Identity: His true identity and its connection to Rhea’s mission may surprise both the characters and the audience.
EOWEN, Draven’s doppelganger.
Role: Draven’s doppelganger.
Hidden agendas: Eowen wants Rhea to fail and become God. In this position he will exterminate Cronus and his followers.
Competition: It’s a race to the crown, and Avaya thwarts his every move.
Conspiracies: He is indebted to Cronus, and Rhea’s soul is the only thing Cronus wants.
Secrets: He detests Draven’s life path and doesn’t know if he can love him.
Deception: None
Wound: Draven’s insensitivity throughout his life has left Eowen feeling empty inside.
Secret Identity: None
Agent PRICE, 44, operates as an enigmatic operative within an undisclosed government agency. He is tasked with safeguarding Rhea’s disciples, even if against their wishes. Despite his chronological age, he exudes an unyielding and resolute demeanor.
Role: Deuteragonist
Hidden agendas: To kill Cronus and send his soul to the lost.
Competition: Logan, who is also a candidate for the position of God.
Conspiracies: Struck a deal with Cronus to deliver him Logan’s soul, a deal he knows he must break at the proper time.
Secrets: He doesn’t believe Rhea can pull it off and is betting on Logan.
Deception: Under his gruff exterior he is a compassionate man who cares only for peace so he can relax.
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Character Name: Clarke
Role: Protagonist
Hidden agendas: To reunite with her Mother.
Competition: In competition with Bellamy for control of the group, leadership.
Conspiracies: Rhea sides with the Elders on the Arc but claims she is more concerned with survival.
Secrets: She needs her Mother for approval.
Deception: Appears to be kind but is very vengeful.
Wound: Lost her Father and blames her best friend for it.
Secret Identity: Cold blooded killer.
Character Name: Bellamy
Role: Foil
Hidden agendas: To keep from getting executed for murder.
Competition: Clarke
Conspiracies: To kill Clarke.
Secrets: Shot the Chancellor to get on the drop ship and care for Octavia.
Deception: Claims to have the groups best interest in mind but cares only for himself and Octavia.
Wound: Mother was executed because she had Octavia.
Secret Identity: Kind hearted Man.
Character Name: Octavia
Role: Main Character
Hidden agendas: Has none
Competition: Clarke
Conspiracies: None
Secrets: None
Deception: She doesn’t even know who she is capable of being.
Wound: Was hidden under the floor for 16 years, her mother was floated and she was imprisoned.
Secret Identity: Loyal to a fault.
Character Name: Murphy
Role: Jester
Hidden agendas: Self
Competition: The world
Conspiracies: None
Secrets: Hidden secrets
Deception:
Wound: Parents were executed?
Secret Identity: A caring individual.
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I had some major breakthroughs in my characters while doing this assignment.
Main Characters
RHEA, also known as Dr. Rhea Smith, is a captivating 27-year-old cognitive neuroscientist whose groundbreaking revelation connects human consciousness to celestial entities in the depths of space. This revelation has propelled her to worldwide stardom, where some hail her as a modern-day messiah, while others fear her discovery has triggered an impending apocalypse
A. Role in the show: Rhea is the intrepid protagonist embarking on a journey through the violent realm of Sweladia. She must confront six formidable challenges related to the chakras and ultimately transcend to rescue humanity from its perilous fate.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Rhea possesses the extraordinary gift of witnessing the departure of the human consciousness departing from the human body shortly after time of death.
C. Intrigue: Beneath her scientific exterior, Rhea harbors a secret – she’s a virgin, a fact she believes to be hidden from the world. She’s a staunch advocate of science, dismissing spirituality, and remains steadfast in her belief that everything can be explained through scientific means.
D. Moral Issue: Rhea grapples with ethical dilemmas as she holds the key to the secrets of Sweladia, the Mind Code, and transcendence. Her silence on these matters, even from her close associate Draven, raises questions about the boundaries she’s willing to cross.
E. Unpredictable: Rhea’s emotions often erupt into fits of frustration, driving those around her away. Her unpredictability keeps everyone on their toes.
F. Empathetic: Rhea never asked for the role of “The Chosen One,” and her genuine desire to discover her father’s identity adds a layer of relatability to her character.
AGENT PRICE, a mysterious 44-year-old operative of an obscure government agency, is a figure aged beyond his years, exuding an unapologetic, tough persona.
A. Role in the show: Agent Price is the mysterious guardian responsible for Rhea’s security, representing a covert government agency.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Price possesses an uncanny sixth sense that enables him to detect imminent danger.
C. Intrigue: Price’s ability to materialize and vanish at will, always finding himself in the right place at the right time, shrouds his character in an air of mystique.
D. Moral Issue: In a moment of desperation, Price strikes a deal with Logan to transcend should Rhea fail in her mission.
E. Unpredictable: Price’s actions can turn lethal at a moment’s notice, as he acts upon his premonitions, whether they prove accurate or not.
F. Empathetic: Despite his hardened exterior, Price’s weariness and genuine concern for Rhea make him a character worth caring about.
DENIM, a twenty-something bodyguard and personal assistant to Rhea, is not just a protector but also Rhea’s voice of reason.
A. Role in the show: Denim serves as Rhea’s dedicated bodyguard and is one of the very few people Rhea truly trusts, alongside Draven.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Denim is a formidable fighter, skilled in the art of swordplay and throwing knives. People fear her.
C. Intrigue: Hidden beneath her tough exterior, Denim nurses a secret love for Rhea that adds complexity to her character.
D. Moral Issue: Denim faces the painful choice of betraying Rhea’s trust in pursuit of her mission’s completion.
E. Unpredictable: Denim’s actions can be ruthless, often resorting to violence without provocation.
F. Empathetic: Denim’s genuine care for Rhea’s well-being and the revelation about her father, who may have to be sacrificed, evokes empathy in the audience.
DRAVEN, in his thirties, is Rhea’s childhood friend, the linchpin of her world, and the individual she cannot afford to lose.
A. Role in the show: Draven plays a crucial role as the person Rhea cannot bear to lose, underpinning the story’s emotional core.
B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: He’s a brilliant programmer who has deciphered the enigmatic Mind Code.
C. Intrigue: Draven guards a long-held secret about Rhea’s twin brother, a truth concealed since their childhood.
D. Moral Issue: Draven’s manipulation of Rhea’s rise to fame, with good intentions, has unforeseen dangers tied to the Mind Code, which could jeopardize Rhea’s life.
E. Unpredictable: Driven by love for Rhea, he may impulsively execute programs without fully grasping the consequences.
F. Empathetic: Draven’s love for Rhea, coupled with his contractual ties to the Akashic library and the restoration of the Universe to Love, make him a character who resonates deeply with the audience.
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PJ’s 3 Circles of characters
Analysis of the 100 3 circles of characters
Main Characters
Clarke
Bellamy
Octavia
Monty
Murphy
Connected Characters
Kane
Abby
Jasper
Wells
Finn
Thelonius
Environment Characters
The rest of the 100
Grounders
The elders on the ArkPart 2
3 Circles of Characters for SOUL TRAFFIC
Main Characters – All humanRHEA, or Dr. Rhea Smith, is a 27-year-old cognitive neuroscientist whose discovery that human consciousness is linked to entities in Deep space has earned her a worldwide following as a modern-day messiah. And has unleashed an apocalypse.
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>ALBERT, 60’s, Rhea’s grandfather, mathematician, genius, mentor, the only man Rhea has ever loved.</font>
AGENT PRICE, 44, A mysterious Agent of the unknown government Agency that provides protection for Rhea’s disciples, against their will. Aged beyond his number, tough bad ass.
DENIM, 20’s, Rheas bodyguard and personal assistant.
Connected Characters – we are dealing with humans and their Sweladian doppelgangers.
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>HUMAN CHARACTERS</font>
SETH, 36, Rhea’s top disciple, her mentor. An Agent of the Akashic Library, but Rhea doesn’t know it.
ELIZABETH, 55, Rhea’s Mother, astronomer who linked sounds from Deep Space to vibrations in the human mind. Foremother of Rhea’s research.
LOGAN, Cronus’ soul twin. Leader of the RESISTANCE which opposes Rhea’s movement.
JON, 30, Rhea’s scientist partner who has stayed with her through her transformation.
<font face=”Arial, sans-serif”>SWELADIAN CHARACTERS</font>
CRONUS, 30’s, antagonist, represents Evil as The Soul Trafficker, the most wanted man in Sweladia.
AVAYA, Rhea’s soul twin. Apposed to allowing Earth into Sweladia because she believes humans are not worthy of love.
MONTY, Price’s soul twin.
PONY, Black market soul dealer who is hunting Logan and Rhea’s souls.
NED, 25, Logan’s right-hand man, confidant, bad ass fighter. Is a spy for Seth beyond Rhea’s knowledge.
TROI, 20’s, Cronus’ right-hand girl. Leads Cronus’ unstoppable army.
ZEUS, old, leader of the Akashic Library.
GENESIS 40, a mystic who mediates between Rhea and Aviya to guide them to love each other and ultimately transcend.
ZAIR – an athletic young woman most men would kill for. She’s Cronus’ voice of reason and the only woman to live beyond denying him. Of eastern descent.
SOMA – Zair’s lover.
Environment Characters
Cronus’ Army
Soul Hunters
The Akashic KGB
The Believers in Rhea
The Haters of Rhea
Lost Souls -
What I learned doing this assignment is that subtle hints of the traits of a character cause intrigue whether or not they are totally perceived by the audience.
1. THE 100 5-Star Model (Was on the list in the previous binge-worthy class and is in my genre)
What remains of the human race after a nuclear holocaust has been trapped in space for 97 years. With the arc they live on dying, 100 under-18-year-old prisoners are sent to Earth as guinea pigs.
On Earth, they discover the air is survivable, but a power struggle ensues between Clark, who wants to do the right thing, and Bellamy, who wants to do whatever the hell he wants and survive without the leaders who are still in space. Knowing they will come down if they know it is inhabitable, he makes every effort to destroy communication with them to make them believe they are all dead.
Clark, a natural leader and clearly the protagonist, goes on a journey to find supplies and feed the people. While out they discover that they are not alone, strange animals and whoever lives here attacked them.
2. From that, make a list of the 5 Star Points for that show.
First Pass
Big Picture Hooks –
Can Clark, Bellamy, and the others survive the radiation-scorched planet and preserve the human race? A love interest with Clarke. Who, and or what, is still alive on Earth and how?
Amazing and Intriguing Character
Ask this: What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting?
Clark is a natural leader who follows the rules. Bellamy is a charismatic leader who people naturally follow and play by his own rules. The group is split but favors Bellamy.
Empathy / Distress
Ask this: What situations cause us to feel both empathy and distress for these characters?
Clark is a fighter, but still a little girl in her mother’s arms. She sacrifices the pleasures in life for her quest to save the 100. We fear she will fall victim to Bellamy and his cohorts. Quick to come up with a plan and help people. She is coming of age at 17 and starving for love.
Layers / Open Loops
Ask this: What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season?
Is there enough food to sustain life? The love interest between Clark and Finn. Does the human race deserve to survive..
The Ark is dying, 3-4 months left. Leaders on the Ark are going to start reducing the population if the ground isn’t survivable. Traitor in our midst, and assassin on the ground.
Will they be able to live in the radiation? Will they survive future attacks? Will the group fight amongst themselves? Bellamy wants them to think everyone is dying, an idea he got from Clark.
Inviting Obsession
Ask this: How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode? It makes us wonder if humans would actually survive a nuclear apocalypse and make our fantasies and questions not only ourselves but the human race.
3. Watch the same first episode A SECOND TIME while looking at your 5 Star Point analysis. This time, your purpose is to see beyond the obvious answers. Assume there is more to learn and discover it!
Clark: Her father’s watch. She’s just like her father who is dead. They drugged her because she was not going quietly. Naturally gives orders. No spiking vitals, her serious nature prevails.
Bellamy: Cares deeply for his little sister. Has a chip on his shoulder and is wanted for murder. Does not want the others to come down.
Wrong mountain, radiation-soaked forest.
They’re on their own, communications down. If the air is toxic we are all dead anyway.
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I am PJ, an aspiring scriptwriter who has authored three scripts. My intention is to harness the power of AI, a technology to which I had previously held strong objections, in order to craft a captivating series that showcases my storytelling prowess and simultaneously expands my professional network.
An intriguing facet of my identity that has recently emerged is my resemblance to the renowned figure, Anthony Bourdain. This uncanny resemblance was brought to my attention when I encountered an individual who had a personal connection to Mr. Bourdain, resulting in a profoundly emotional reaction.
My journey in scriptwriting has encompassed the completion of Pro Series 69, MSC 12, and partial progress in the Binge Worthy course. Regrettably, unforeseen life circumstances disrupted my path, leaving me with limited time to pursue my creative endeavors.
I would like to add that I have employed artificial intelligence to compose the aforementioned introduction, highlighting my newfound willingness to embrace this technology in my creative pursuits.
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PJ Doremus
I agree to the terms of this release form
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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PJ’s Character Interviews
What I learned doing this assignment was how powerful the interview process is in creating characters, especially this early on in the story creation process.
Our protagonist, Sarah Roberts, came to life during the process. She has new traits and a new subtext identity that fits into the plot of the story much better than her original ones. We also came up with some good story ideas before, during and after the interview process.
Our antagonist, Lucifer, seemed to come to life and his attitude showed through in his answers. He is going to be a lot of fun to write.
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PJ’s character profile part 2.
What I learned doing this assignment is…to just do it, post it and move on, it will evolve during the process.
Sarah: Protagonist
Age range and Description: 40’s Attractive, obviously raised with wealth. Sarah is humble and genuinely nice who lies to avoid conflict.
Internal Journey: To shed her fear of being alone and leave her abusive husband.
External Journey: To navigate Purgatory and beat Lucifer’s game.
Motivation: Her kids are dead and she blames herself.
Wound: She was raped as a young adult.
Mission/Agenda: To navigate Purgatory and get away from her abusive husband.
Secret: Her son is not her husband’s child.
What makes them special? Her motherly instincts border on surreal. She never gives up.
What draws us to this character. Sarah is likable to most people, although we pity her somewhat because of her situation.
Traits: Kind, timid, noble
Subtext: Liar
Flaw: Sarah lies to avoid confrontation.
Values: Sarah values family over anything else.
Irony: Sarah does not believe in divorce but wants to get away from her husband more than anything else.
What makes this the right character for this role? We need a capable character who can see through the manipulation of Lucifer, but slowly.
Lucifer: Antagonist
Age range and description: Lucifer is forever 40 something. He’s quirky and speaks in cryptic riddles. He has magical powers, after all, Purgatory is his creation. He is God here. He can turn an ordinary house cat into a ruthless killer.
Internal Journey: To finally meet a human who can withstand his torment.
External Journey: To get out of Purgatory, although he knows it will never happen.
Motivation: Entertainment to pass the time.
Wound: He was banished to Purgatory and exiled from Hell.
Mission/Agenda: To create impossible tasks for his victims so they make it to Hell/to have fun fulfilling his duties.
Secret: He helped Sarah’s rapist escape from prison.
What makes them special. Lucifer has a personality everyone is enthralled by. You hate him, but you can’t hate him.
What draws us to this character? His irony and his humor make him likable from the start.
Traits: Conniving, Evil, Playful
Subtext: Lucifer manipulates your feelings using tidbits from your past and your psyche.
Flaw: Holds a grudge against his father for banishing him to Purgatory.
Values: He values a good time watching people suffer.
Irony: He likes to watch people suffer but secretly wants them to survive.
What makes this the right character for this role? This is early in the draft so I’m not sure. But the devil is the devil.
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PJ’s character profiles Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment is that no matter how busy life becomes, if I empower myself and crank out the assignments without worry, this script will someday be finished.
2. Pick the type of role your Protagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role.
Victim: Sarah is emotionally imprisoned in her marriage and is mentally and emotionally abused on a regular basis, a behavior she allows out of fear. When the man who raped her breaks out of prison and kills her family, she has one option: Navigate Purgatory to reverse the murders and have another shot at life, or remain trapped with the two men who abuse her.
3. Pick the type of role your Antagonist will play and give us a few sentences on how they will fulfill that role/
Villain: Lucifer is the commentator of the Purgatory Game. He gives cryptic clues and makes Sarah’s task nearly impossible.
4. What other characters might be necessary?
Supporting characters:
A man in Sarah’s life whom she sees in that 3 hour period, either a love interest or a man she is forbidden to see I.e. brother or therapist are ideas.
Sarah’s son and daughter.
Minor roles: Police detective who warns her about the escaped convict.
Background characters: Street thug, receptionist, others she will interact with on her 3 hour journey still needs development.
5. Pick your genre. HORROR.
6. Fill in whatever answers come to you about your lead character profiles.
Sarah: Protagonist
Age range and Description: 40’s Attractive, well mannered and well groomed. Sarah is humble and genuinely nice who reacts with sarcasm when agitated.
Internal Journey: To free herself of her fear of being alone and leave her abusive husband.
External Journey: To navigate Purgatory and figure out what she did wrong in that 3 hours before she dies a fourth and final time.
Motivation: Her kids are dead and she blames herself.
Wound: She was raped as a young adult.
Mission/Agenda: To navigate Purgatory and get away from her abusive husband.
Secret: She’s in love with another man? Her son is not her husbands child?
What makes them special? Her motherly instincts border on surreal. She never gives up.
Lucifer: Antagonist
Age range and description: Lucifer is forever 40 something. He’s quirky and speaks in cryptic riddles. He has magical powers, after all, Purgatory is his creation. He is God here. He can turn an ordinary house cat into a ruthless killer.
Internal Journey: To finally meet a human who can withstand his torment.
External Journey: To get out of Purgatory, although he knows it will never happen.
Motivation: Entertainment to pass the time.
Wound: He was banished to Purgatory and exiled from Hell.
Mission/Agenda: To create impossible tasks for his victims so they make it to Hell/to have fun fulfilling his duties.
Secret: He helped Sarah’s rapist escape from prison.
What makes them special. Lucifer has a personality everyone is enthralled by. You hate him, but you can’t hate him.
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1. Peter J. Doremus.
2. I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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What I learned doing this assignment was what concept I’m going to write for this class.
Concept: (I picked something different)
Horror Feature: The PURGATORY GAME
After a woman and her family are brutally murdered, she is granted 3 lives to alter one thing in last 3 hours of her life to reverse the tragedy. The catch: reality is now the horrific parallel world of Purgatory.
2. Who is your Hero and what is their Character Arc that represents a transformation?
Our hero is Sarah, a trophy wife and mother of two who is trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship with a very powerful man.
Internal Journey: From diffident and unhappy to confident and content.
External Journey: From being brutally murdered to navigating the Purgatory Game and finally killing the murderer before her family is exterminated, with the exception of her abuser.
3. What are the Old Ways and New Ways?
Old Ways: Do what she is told and live in fear of everyone around her. Obey her husband at all cost.
New Ways: Take her fate into her own hands and rely on her survival instincts to beat the Purgatory Game and destroy the two men who have controlled her life.
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What I learned doing this assignment is that it is good to go back to the basic plot structure to make sure the story structure still flows. Through the cliche busting process I came up with some good twists.
1. Tell us your logline. After Harper gets abducted by a dating app, Jake pursues her into a medieval world where soul craving doppelgängers challenge every step of his surreal rescue mission.
2. Present your current story, showing each part of the 9-part structure.
Give us each of these, along with the current main conflict:
Main Conflict: Harper is risking her life undercover as The Soul Trafficker’s woman and Jake is resolved to save her before they Transcend the Gates of the Universe.
1. Opening: Mysterious abductions have Detective’s JAKE KARR and HARPER POOLE at each other’s throats, but when the mysterious AGENT PRICE theorizes the abductions are of Extraterrestrial origin and selects Harper to go undercover, Jake loses his cool.
2. Inciting Incident: Harper gets herself snatched by the notorious D-Date app seconds before Jake’s can stop her – Price was right.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Jake is getting made up in drag and going after her.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Jake gets a date and finds himself in Sweladia, a medieval world of soul craving doppelgängers, where he is paired up with ATHENA, Harper’s Reptilian Doppelgänger, on a mission to bring down the Soul Trafficker.
5. Mid-Point: Jake comes face to face with CRONUS, the Soul Trafficker, his sinister Doppelgänger who desperately needs his soul. Jake and Athena escape and become the pursued with a bounty on Jake’s soul.
7. Crisis: Jake blows Harper’s cover and puts her soul, and her life, in jeopardy.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: Cronus refuses to trade Jake’s soul for Harpers, it seems he has a plan to Transcend out of Sweladia as evil and Harper’s soul is the ticket. He doesn’t want Jake’s soul.
8. Climax: Jake inhales a power soul and he and Cronus fight the final battle. Jake prevails and almost kills his own Twin, but Athena stops him.
9. Resolution: Jake discovers self love and bequests his soul to Cronus and the two beings merge into one. He and Harper transcend into Andromeda, the party capitol of the Universe.
3. Look back over the 9 elements and select at least one
to elevate.
5. Mid-Point: Jake screws up once again and gets them caught by Cronus, but they inhale souls, disguising themselves as Earth women. Cronus smells a trap and locks Athena up and forces Harper to fight Jake (in disguise). When Harper wounds Jake, he tips his hand and jeopardizes Harper’s cover.
4. Separating that one (or more) item(s) out, list the
main purpose of that item in the story and brainstorm a list of
other possible ways to deliver that structural item.
Main purpose is the change in direction of the midpoint. Up until now Jake wanted to kill Cronus and take Harper home but instead he learns that the Soul Trafficker is his doppelgänger, which means Cronus needs his soul and if Jake kills him his soul will be lost forever.
Jake fights Cronus and Athena stops him just before he sends sends his own soul to the lost and they escape.
Cronus doesn’t want his soul and banishes Jake to the underground for eternity, but Athena saves him.
Jake has a chance to kill Cronus but relinquishes it to save Athena (this would show a slight change in old ways.)
Cronus has Jake locked up and Harper frees him and tells him to scram or he will blow her cover.
Upon learning that Cronus is his Soul Twin, Jake want to kill him anyway and sacrifice his own soul to save Harper but Athena assures him it will not work.
Jake and Athena capture Cronus but Harper saves him to protect her cover.
Jake and Cronus fight it out, and when Jake seems to be getting the advantage, Harper intervenes and wounds Jake to save Cronus. Jake says something to make Harper realize it’s him and Cronus gets suspicious and strips Jake of his disguise. When all seems lost, Harper, at the risk of blowing her cover, causes a diversion allowing Jake and Athena to escape, but are now on the run with a bounty on Jake’s soul.
Jake and Athena spy on Cronus’ camp and it appears as though Harper is in fact Cronus’ woman. Jake reacts and gets them outed and on the run.
5. Make a second list of the Main Conflict and Structural items
with the improvements you’ve made. Again, it will contain the
following:
Main Conflict: Harper is risking her life undercover as The Soul Trafficker’s woman and Jake is resolved to save her before they Transcend the Gates of the Universe.
Main Conflict: Harper is risking her life undercover as The Soul Trafficker’s woman and Jake is resolved to save her before they Transcend the Gates of the Universe.
1. Opening: Mysterious abductions have Detective’s JAKE KARR and HARPER POOLE at each other’s throats, but when the mysterious AGENT PRICE theorizes the abductions are of Extraterrestrial origin and selects Harper to go undercover, Jake loses his cool.
2. Inciting Incident: Harper gets herself snatched by the notorious D-Date app seconds before Jake’s can stop her – Price was right.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Jake is getting made up in drag and going after her.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Jake gets a date and finds himself in Sweladia, a medieval world of soul craving doppelgängers, where he is paired up with ATHENA, Harper’s Reptilian Doppelgänger, on a mission to bring down the Soul Trafficker.
5. Mid-Point: Cronus gets suspicious and strips Jake of his disguise. When all seems lost, Harper, at the risk of blowing her cover, causes a diversion allowing Jake and Athena to escape, but are now on the run with a bounty on Jake’s soul.
7. Crisis: Jake attempts a single handed rescue attempt on Harper but blows her cover when she refuses to abandon her mission.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The mysterious Agent Price’s doppelgänger rescues Jake and informs him of Cronus’ plan to be the first evil Doppelgänger to transcend out of Sweladia.
8. Climax: Jake inhales a power soul and he and Cronus fight the final battle. Jake prevails and almost kills his own Twin, but Athena stops him.
9. Resolution: Jake discovers self love and bequests his soul to Cronus and the two beings merge into one. He and Harper transcend into Andromeda, the party capitol of the Universe.
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If anyone would like to partner up I have a SciFi/Horror titled Soul Trafficker.
PJ
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SciFi/Horror: SOUL TRAFFICKER
Logline: After his partner gets abducted by a dating app, a bad ass cop chases her into a medieval world where soul craving doppelgängers challenge every step of his surreal rescue mission.
One Page:
When string of mysterious abductions is theorized to be of extraterrestrial origin, Detective Jake Karr refuses to believe it. But when Detective Harper Poole, his partner on and off the job, goes undercover behind his back, Jake chases her to a violent medieval world of soul craving Reptilian doppelgängers.
Without intel and weapons, Jake is forced to rely on ATHENA, Harper’s doppelgänger, on a mission to bring down CRONUS, the intergalactic soul trafficker. Jake flounders in the medieval world and his distrust of Athena make him a thorn in her side.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Jake and undisclosed by Athena, Harper is playing first lady to the most notorious man in the Universe, who just happens to be Jake’s sinister doppelgänger. Harper adapts well in the hostile environment and gains Cronus’ trust.
Jake’s emotional attachment to rescuing Harper fueled by his hot headed nature cause nothing but problems for Athena as they fight their way way through the surreal world where souls are a commodity. Jake is aghast to learn souls, which are kept in tiny bottles, are inhaled for unscrupulous activities.
Jake disobeys orders and gets them caught in a trap where he winds up face to face with his criminal twin who desperately needs his soul. Jake loses his cool and compromises Harper’s cover before Athena breaks them out. Jake finally begins to listen to Athena but the damage is done.
With an irresistible bounty on Jakes soul, he and Athena are forced into hiding. Athena coerces him to inhale a soul, and she takes him on an intimate journey to discover his true feelings for Harper and establishes some trust. But before Athena can finally tell Jake what the real deal is, they are forced on the run and finally taken into custody and separated.
Cronus, who now suspects Harper is involved with the cops, forces a soul up her nostril and takes her on a violent journey into the depths of his horrific psyche. Harper manages to dissuade Cronus’ distrust and they proceed on their mission: Auction the earth girls at the Gates of the Universe.
When the cops screw up a chance to catch Cronus and save Harper, Jake breaks away and sets out on his own. Not only does he almost get himself stripped of his soul, but he blows Harper’s cover once and for all. Athena, now a fugitive of the law, comes to the rescue and saves Jake.
Cronus beats Harper and inhales the souls of the other hostages to punish her for her betrayal as they race to the Gates of the Universe.
Jake, now resolved to listen to Athena, joins her in a mission to intercept Cronus before he reaches the Gates of the Universe and becomes the first man to transcend as evil. The catch: Jake must learn to love himself and whole heartedly bequest his soul to Cronus, the only hope for him to be with Harper, again.
Jake and Cronus come face to face in the final showdown, and Jake nearly ends Cronus’ existence but finally realizes he does love and forgive himself. He bequests his soul to Cronus and they merge into one being and Transcend with Harper/Athena by his side.
Jake and Harper, together in Andromeda, the party capitol of the Universe, are on an endless honeymoon. Unfortunately, the honeymoon comes to an end when they get their latest assignment as Agents of Andromeda and must go to work fighting evil.
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Hi Cheryl and everyone!
I’m PJ, and I’ve written 3 complete scripts and several partials. I hope to elevate my ProSeries script, SOUL TRAFFICKER, to a professional level that far exceeds my personal best. I’m also in the process of writing a contained Horror script that I plan to finish along with this rewrite as long as time permits.
<font face=”inherit”>Something unique, special, strange or </font>unusual<font face=”inherit”> about me… I’m better at story telling than I am at writing, and I don’t get attached to characters or scenes I’ve written. If they have to be removed to enhance the story, I can delete at will.</font>
Looking forward to interacting with everyone during this journey.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by PJ Doremus.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by
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I don’t get the emails, but the lesson opened up in screewritingclasses.com yesterday morning.
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A deserted nature guy with animal senses bonds with a wolf and nosy camp kids to take down an animal-smuggling ring.
The logline is good, i can see a movie here!
One Page Synopsis:
Hank feels worthless after losing his family in a water accident. He chooses to live guarded and isolated deep within the forest away from meddling forest rangers trying to kick him out. [good first act setup and inciting incident]
The bite from an eerie wolf gives him unreal senses. [1st act turning point is good, however in the log line you said bonds with the wolf? I like the bite concept.] He adapts to a new look on life and learns how to care again while making friends with nosy camp kids and hiding a secret crush on their camp counselor. [this is good, escalating conflict and experiencing a new outlook on life]
Hank uselessly vows to protect the crazy camp kids [protect them from what? is this the midpoint and change in direction. I think it could be expanded to include animal smuggling ring mentioned in the log line] while meeting wild and wacky animal friends along the way. He puts himself in danger after numerous failed attempts of trying to protect them. [here i think maybe you can weave the danger as escalating conflict throughout the one page? Just a suggestion.]
In a last ditch effort [what caused this? what is the darkest moment in his journey?] he must over come his biggest fear [which is?], save his love crush and take down an illegal animal smuggling ring or risk losing it all. [what is he losing here? What are the stakes? Why will he lose his love crush if he doesn’t stop the smugglers?]
Overall it is a good concept and I’m looking forward to seeing it progress.
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ok Marcus, sounds good. I’ll take a look at yours before days end.