Peter Symons
Forum Replies Created
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Outline 1: Expanded Version
ACT 1: The Setup for Horror
Atmosphere of Evil Established: The movie opens with a local legend about the ‘Meat Wagon,’ a haunted hearse seen only on the night before Day of the Dead, ferrying souls of the damned to Hell. Local folklore whispers of its malevolent nature, with tales of screams echoing from within its dark interior.
Connect with the Characters: Carlos attends the funeral of his dead posse, plagued by guilt for leading them to their fate. Father Diego, a mysterious figure with deep ties to the occult, offers him a job driving a body across Texas by dawn. Father Diego is not what he seems, harboring his own dark secrets and a connection to the hearse’s sinister past.
Denial of Horror: Despite reservations, Carlos accepts, haunted by the legend of the Meat Wagon. He finds a Satanic coin inside the hearse, a symbol of its unholy origins. As he embarks on his journey, the hearse seems to pulsate with an otherworldly energy, drawing him deeper into its grip.
ACT 2: The Point of No Return
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: Sheriff Johnson ambushes Carlos, blaming him for the murders. Injured and alone, Carlos tries to call Maria, unaware he’s already dead. The hearse becomes his prison, its doors refusing to open as if guided by an unseen force.
One of Us is Killed: Carlos begins seeing visions of his dead posse, tormented by their accusing stares. He also has a premonition of a bald gangster with an upside-down cross tattoo coming for him. The hearse becomes a vessel for these spectral apparitions, its interior morphing into a nightmarish realm of twisted memories and vengeful spirits.
MIDPOINT: The Monster is Worse Than We Thought
Terrorized: Carlos realizes the hearse is possessed, unable to control its acceleration. He calls Maria, but she’s horrified to hear from her dead husband. Meanwhile, the Meat Wagon pursues Sheriff Johnson. The hearse becomes an extension of Carlos’s guilt and fear, its presence looming over him like a specter of death.
Full Pursuit by the Killer: Carlos confronts Sheriff Johnson, who meets a grisly end. Carlos awakens in the morgue, witnessing Father Diego perform an eerie ritual on his corpse. The hearse becomes a conduit for Father Diego’s dark magic, its demonic influence growing stronger with each passing moment.
ACT 3: Full Out Horror
Fight to the Death: Carlos awakens in the coffin, realizing he’s dead. Father Diego reveals they’re both trapped souls. The hearse bursts into flames, consuming Carlos’s body. The hearse becomes a gateway to the underworld, its fiery inferno devouring all who dare to cross its path.
The Thrilling Escape from Death: Carlos rises from the dead, destined to drive the Meat Wagon as penance. Father Diego’s unnaturally long life hints at the hearse’s sinister nature. The hearse becomes a harbinger of doom, its dark presence lingering in the shadows, forever bound to the souls it claims.
ACT 4: Resolution
Resolution: Carlos embraces his role as the new driver of the Meat Wagon, haunted by the realization of his eternal damnation. As the hearse fades into the night, the cycle of darkness continues. The hearse becomes a symbol of mankind’s darkest impulses, forever roaming the highways in search of new victims to claim.
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ACT 1
• Atmosphere of Evil established: Body bag delivered to a Texas morgue.
• Connect with the characters: Carlos is an ex-gangster working for the priest/undertaker who practices dark magic. He’s Father Diego’s protégé.
• Denial of Horror: Father Diego tells Carlos to drive a body across Texas overnight – on Day of the Dead. The old priest gives Carlos a 1930s ‘Hobo Coin’ a talisman of great power.
• Safety taken away: Once on the road, Carlos’ cell connection becomes spotty, and his GPS goes haywire. It starts to storm.
• The characters are warned not to do it: Carlos manages to call his wife, Dani. She begs him to come home – she doesn’t like this job. But Carlos knows they need the extra money that comes with these overnight deliveries.
• Monster – The nature of the beast: The storm lashes the desert. Carlos’ hearse is the only vehicle on the highway, until he notices headlights in his rearview mirror. Carlos comes to a fork in the road. Without his GPS he is lost. He flips the Hobo Coin – it lands with the side with a grinning skull side up. Chaos it is. Carlos turns left. He hears something come from the back of the hearse…
ACT 2
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The headlights get closer. Carlos speeds up but can’t shake the vehicle behind him. Carlos slows to let the car pass. Instead, it rams him! Carlos guns the engine but the car matches his speed. Side-by-side now, Carlos can see his pursuer – it’s a vintage hearse with NO DRIVER.
• One of us killed: Carlos is in full panic mode manages to outrun the Meat Wagon. The torrential rain clouds his vision; he sees a dead person standing in the middle of the highway, he swerves to avoid the corpse and rolls the hearse.
MIDPOINT – The monster is worse than we thought: The Meat Wagon has trapped him.
• Terrorized: Carlos wakes up inside a coffin! He tries to scream, but something prevents him from opening his mouth. He tries his cell phone but has no bars. He is a prisoner.
ACT 3
• Full pursuit by the killer: Carlos tries desperately to call for help, but whoever is driving the hearse pays him no heed. He kicks at coffin lid.
• Fight to the death: Carlos tries to phone Dani. His call connects with her but the reception is poor. The call breaks up and Dani is sobbing hysterically. Why won’t he leave them alone? She cuts the call.
• The thrilling escape from death: Carlos accidently FaceTime’s the old priest. Instead of talking directly to Carlos, the old man is performing a ritual on a dead body… It’s Carlos’ body with the telltale ‘Y’ scar on the chest and lips sewn shut. He traces his fingers over his lips and realizes he’s dead!
• Hysteria: Carlos tries one last time to free himself from the coffin and succeeds! He is hurtling down the highway to hell in the old hearse – no one is driving!
• Death returns to take one or more: Carlos assumes control. He brings the Meat Wagon to a screeching halt. He looks in his rearview mirror – approaching the hearse from all sides are all his victims from his life of crime! Carlos screams.
• Resolution: A body is delivered to the old priest at the morgue – it turns out the body belongs to Carlos!
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Plot track:
ACT 1: The Setup for Horror
Atmosphere of Evil Established:
The movie opens at the MS-13 ‘Destroyer House’ in West Texas, a grisly crime scene where gang members are found slaughtered in an occult ritualistic manner. Bodies are zipped into body bags and loaded into vans.
Connect with the Characters:
Carlos “the Scorpion” Rodriguez and his wife, Maria, attend the gang members’ funeral. Sheriff Johnson interrogates Carlos about the murders, but Father Diego intervenes, offering Carlos a mysterious job driving a body across Texas in the vintage hearse known as the ‘Meat Wagon.’
Denial of Horror:
Despite warnings from Maria about the hearse being a bad omen, Carlos accepts the job from Father Diego, who reveals the hearse’s dark history of carrying the souls of murderers and predators. An act he uses to drum up business!
Safety Taken Away:
Carlos discovers a vintage coin with a Satanic engraving inside the hearse, signaling its sinister nature. Despite Maria’s concerns, Carlos sets off on his journey, haunted by the feeling that he’s not alone with the coffin in the back.
ACT 2: The Point of No Return
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted:
Sheriff Johnson runs Carlos off the road, interrogating him about the murders before pistol-whipping him and leaving him concussed in a ditch.
One of Us is Killed:
Alone on the desolate highway, Carlos tries to call for help but finds himself isolated without cell reception.
MIDPOINT: The Monster is Worse Than We Thought
Terrorized:
Carlos begins to see dead people along the highway and hears haunting voices from the hearse’s radio. He feels haunted by his past as the Scorpion.
Full Pursuit by the Killer:
The Meat Wagon speeds uncontrollably, pursued by Sheriff Johnson. Carlos realizes the hearse is possessed by an evil force. He has no control!
ACT 3: Full Out Horror
Fight to the Death:
Carlos faces a deadly confrontation with Sheriff Johnson, with the hearse speeding towards a collision course. This time though the state trooper realizes that no one is driving hearse!
Seeing his own death, the Sheriff rolls his cruiser and dies.
The Thrilling Escape from Death:
Carlos still trapped in the speeding hearse, is relieved that he is no longer being chased. He calls Maria. The reception is choppy. Maria is crying hysterically asking him why won’t he leave her alone? The call is cut.
Carlos hears Father Diego’s voice on the radio. Next he is floating above his own body in the morgue as the priest performs an arcane ritual on Carlos’ body.
Hysteria:
Carlos realizes he is DEAD!
Carlos awakens in the coffin, his lips sewn shut, realizing he’s trapped in the hearse’s infernal cycle. The priest tells him that sometimes ‘you have to go to hell before you get to heaven…’
Death Returns to Take One or More:
The hearse bursts into flames, consuming Carlos’s body but marking his resurrection on the third day.
ACT 4: Resolution
Resolution:
Carlos’s funeral is held, but he rises from the dead as the new driver of the Meat Wagon, destined to ferry souls to their final judgment.
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What I learned doing this assignment is not to dive into details – just stick with what the assignment asks for.
1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen.
Synopsis:
In the desolate backcountry of Texas, Carlos, a reformed gangster seeking redemption, becomes fixated on purchasing a vintage hearse owned by the venerable Father Ramirez, unaware of the dark secret hidden within its shadows. Little does Carlos know, only those who have committed murder can perceive the hearse, and it serves as a vessel for collecting the bodies and trapping the souls of the damned, transporting them to Hell for judgment.
The Meat Wagon targets sinners.
2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.
The characters experience the terror and survive together, but one or two die.
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
LEADER/REBEL: Carlos is a born leader. In his gangster days, he was the one who called the shots for his crew. He is also the head of his household.
MORAL ONE: Maria– wife: has a strong Catholic faith and is Carlos’ moral compass. She believes the best in her husband despite his violent, dark past.
INNOCENT: Alejandro- Carlos’s young son who thinks his dad is a hero.
THE CARRIER/RED HERRING: Father Diego – A man with a dark past and an unnaturally long life. He sets his sights on Carlos as replacement to become the familiar for the Meat Wagon. Also serves as a red herring because he’s also Carlos’ priest.
OUT OF CONTROL: Jude – Carlos’s friend; he dies a violent death in a gang-related hit. Targeted by the Meat Wagon for disposal.
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Create an early version of your monster.
1. Tell us what or who your monster is.
My monster is an old hearse – but not just any hearse – this one has transported the darkest souls to Hell. We don’t know if it’s possessed or if it serves the devil.
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
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- Their Terror: The hearse comes from the darkness to collect the bodies and trap the souls of the damned bound for Hell. Those who are marked for damnation can sense it as it gets closer. Once it has you there is no escape!
- Their Mystery: How can you escape the Meat Wagon once it has you?
- Their Fear-Provoking Appearance: The image of a hearse is bad enough – but make it a vintage hearse from the late 1930s or 1940s and you have a monster!
- Their Rules: Only those touched by death can sense the hearse. The Meat Wagon as it is known has been around for at least a century. Those who hear it coming, mark their doors in blood to avoid it stopping for them.
- Their Mythology: We don’t know where the hearse comes from. Only that it has travelled the highway and byways for 75 years and has changed form: from a horse drawn funeral carriage to a vintage hearse. We don’t know what evil entity possesses the hearse.
3. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
Thinking of unique terror and the rules of your monster is harder than it looks!
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Lesson #1
What I learned doing this assignment is that you need to stick to the basics to elevate the horror.
Watch the movie and as you do, note its conventions.
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- Title / Concept: The Autopsy of Jane Doe
- Terrorize The Characters: Tommy & Austin Tilden have to deal with a dead body that is a witch and carries a curse that can wake the dead
- Isolation: The Tildens trapped in a basement morgue during a storm
- Death: Innocent couple and Mexican killed at the very beginning; Austin’s girlfriend axed by Tommy; Tommy dies after being put out of his misery by Austin; Austin dies after he’s scared by a dead Tommy
- Monster/Villain: Jane Doe
- High Tension: The dead bodies in the morgue coming back to life; discovering that Jane Doe isn’t dead.
- Departure from Reality: An innocent woman killed during the Salem Witch Trials becomes the very thing she was killed for being – a witch.
- Moral Statement: Everybody has a secret.
3. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film?
Pacing was good – stakes were high and the relationship between father and son gave the screenplay emotional subtext.
4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
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- Concept: A haunted hearse that carries the bodies and traps the souls of the damned and transported to Hell
- Terrorize The Characters: The main character encounters the ghosts of the dead carried by the hearse along a deserted Texas highway at night. He hears strange noises coming from the coffin behind him. Carlos is already dead.
- Isolation: Trapped in a possessed hearse.
- Death: Carlos is killed by his former gang and yet is resurrected by Father Diego to replace him as the driver of the Meat Wagon.
- Monster/Villain: The haunted hearse & the souls of the damned.
- High Tension: Seeing dead people along the highway at night; noises in the coffin; trapped in the hearse; sees his own autopsy as his body is prepared for burial. Burned alive while inside the coffin as his soul is sent to Hell.
- Departure from Reality: Seeing dead people along the highway at night; noises in the coffin; trapped in the hearse; sees his own autopsy as his body is prepared for burial. Burned alive while inside the coffin as his soul is sent to Hell.
- Moral Statement: Sins of your past will come back to haunt you.
5. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
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Module #1
Lesson #3
Assignment #2
Uki, guided by Dr. Silje Thorsen, confronts the unholy alliance of Russian-American oil interests led by Xavier Cronin, exposing a geoengineering plot threatening Inuit heritage and the world.
Main Characters Circle
Uki Qunguliq – gifted Inuit teenager whose family carries a genetic mutation developed over thousands of years.
Abe Qunguliq – Uki’s grandfather
Dr. Silje Thorsen climate scientist and activist
Russ Cayer – PR guy for big oil company
Connected Characters
Xavier Cronin – CEO of Big Oil Company
Willie Okpik – works for the oil company; Uki’s
Dr. Nicolai Gargarin – Russian scientist
Major Ursa – Russian operative and assassin
Pontus Sverdrup – NGO leader from Greenland and love interest of Silje
Dr. Lars Christian Thorsen – Silje’s father
Marcy Wong – CIA agent posing as an activist
Environment characters
Oil workers
Townsfolk
Inuit Elders
Military
CIA operative
Media
Scientists
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Game of Thrones
Main Characters Circle: Episode 2
Eddard Stark – Lord of Winterfell and Hand of the King
Kathrine Stark – Wife of Eddard, mother, wife.
Daenerys Targaryen – Mother of Dragons; heir to the IronThrone
Tyrion Lannister – Runt of the Lannister litter
Connected Circle
Arya Stark – Daughter of Eddard Stark – the upstart
Sansa Stark – Daughter of Eddard Stark – the beauty destined for the throne.
Robb Stark – Son of Eddard Stark – eldest son; short lived.
Bran Stark – Son of Eddard Stark – crippled by the Lannisters; the seer.
Theon Greyjoy – Ward of Eddard Stark – horny young man, destined for eunichood.
Cersei Lannister – Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, beautiful and in love with her brother.
Jamie Lannister – Hand of the Queen – brilliant swordsman and likes to bang his sister.
Jon Snow – Bastard of the Stark family – feels shame about his birth.
Joffrey – Prince of Westeros – future king and crybaby.
Jorah Mormont – Allegiance to House Targaryen loyal servant of Khalessi
Environment Circle:
Soldiers
Residents of Winterfell
Comely Wenches
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Assignment #2
Pete’s Three Circles of Characters
CLIMATIC
A. Main Characters:
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Uki Qunguliq: Gifted Inuit teenager, bearer of a climate-saving genetic mutation, and a direct descendant of the Thule people, holding the key to Arctic salvation.
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Dr. Silje Thorsen: Climate scientist opposing oil exploration, secretly linked to her father’s role in Arctic geoengineering technology development.
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Russ Cayer: Oil company PR man torn between loyalty to his CEO, Xavier Cronin, and a desire to protect Uki from Russian interests. Struggling with a hidden alcoholism and a lost custody battle for his daughter.
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Xavier Cronin: Big oil CEO planning Arctic drilling, leading a double life as a Russian double agent.
B. Connected Characters:
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Willie Okpik: Oil company worker, Uki’s connection to the corporate world.
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Dr. Nicolai Gargarin: Russian scientist entwined in the geoengineering conspiracy.
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Major Ursa: Russian operative and assassin working against Uki and her allies.
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Pontus Sverdrup: NGO leader from Greenland, love interest of Silje, with ties to Arctic environmental activism.
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Dr. Lars Christian Thorsen: Silje’s father, involved in the development of geoengineering technology.
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Marcy Wong: CIA agent posing as an activist, navigating the complexities of the conspiracy.
C. Environment Characters (Roles):
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Inuit Shaman: Spiritual guide connecting Uki to her heritage.
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Oil Rig Workers: Employees on the drilling platforms, unaware of the conspiracy.
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Russian Military Personnel: Enforcing the hidden agenda.
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Greenlandic Locals: Inhabitants providing insights into Arctic geopolitics.
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Climate Activists: Supporting Silje’s cause against Arctic drilling.
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CIA Operatives: Monitoring the unfolding events from the shadows.
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My name is Peter Symons, and I agree with the terms and conditions laid out in this release.
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GAME OF THRONES 5 Star Model
What I learned doing this assignment is the more detail you invest in world building, the easier it is to develop characters whose reactions are consistent with the rule of the world you’ve built.
The big hook is as the title implies there are Houses at war with each other in order to achieve the Iron Throne. While House Stark is introduced as our fall back wholesome family, the other Houses are equally interesting because of their depravity.
Ned Stark, head of House Stark as the would-be Hand of the King- a role he doesn’t want nor desire. He’s a noble leader, father and husband. Values are very rare in this world of Winterfell.
We can understand and even empathize with Ned Stark and his family. The kids have sibling rivalries as all families do, but when young Bran Stark discovers two siblings of House Lannister engaged in coitus, we are both thrown off guard and understand that all the rules are out the window. Much like Bran.
Questions created that can only be answered by watching the entire season are 1) who are the white walkers? and 2) Will Ned stark make it back to his family?
This pilot is ingenious in its ability to create curiousity of all Seven Houses. A new world to explore. So many deceptions and intrigues. We want to follow EVERY character, including the last of the Valyrians.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Peter Symons.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by
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I, Peter Symons, I agree to the terms of this release form.
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1. Peter Symons
2. I have finished 7 or 8 scripts. I have started and abandoned literally dozens. I’m writing a news script based on an original idea from the BW Bootcamp.
3. I want to be able to develop a pilot, series bible that is unique and intriguing.
4. Something unique about me is that I’ve spent my career working in energy. My pilot is about climate change from that perspective.
5. I’m putting everything on hold until I finish this course.
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Peter’s Character Journey’s
What learned is what I always learn: to keep moving forward!
A. What is their Character Profile?
Rachel
1. Role: Lead character/expectant mother
2. Traits: Quiet, intelligent and fierce
3. Fears: Being abandoned
4. Wants/Needs: To find home within herself.
5. Likability / Rooting factors: She’s a survivor.
6. How they react under stress: Freeze and fawn.
7. Relationship with other characters: She
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
1. Character Intro: Her fortune spells doom.
2. Denial: Gives her a bad feeling about her baby.
3. Their reaction at first horror: loses fetus and then has it cut out of her stomach.
4. Relation to group after first horror: deep shock, needs therapy, finds community.
5. How they fight back: finds the magic within herself.
6. End Point: becomes the mother of god.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? There are many ways to find family.
Cian
8. Role: Rachel’s husband
9. Traits: Drunk, abusive and controlling
10. Fears: He won’t be able to control Rachel.
11. Wants/Needs: needs to be in control.
12. Likability / Rooting factors: He’s a git, but funny.
13. How they react under stress: he strikes out in anger.
14. Relationship with other characters: He thinks women are generally stupid.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
8. Character Intro: interrupts Rachel’s baby shower.
9. Denial: says Rachel is an idiot for believing the fortune teller.
10. Their reaction at first horror: more concerned about himself than Rachel.
11. Relation to group after first horror: pits himself against the sisters.
12. How they fight back: uses violence.
13. End Point: torn apart by witchcraft
14. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? While there is good in everyone, some characters are better off dead.
Em
15. Role: Best friend
16. Traits: Optimistic/loyal
17. Fears: Cian will hurt Rachel
18. Wants/Needs: Wants her to leave Cian
19. Likability / Rooting factors: She’s got Rachel’s back.
20. How they react under stress: Get mad
21. Relationship with other characters: wants what’s best for Rach
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
15. Character Intro: Throws Rachel a baby shower.
16. Denial: Can’t believe her bff was dead.
17. Their reaction at first horror: wants to protect Rachel
18. Relation to group after first horror: drives Rachel to therapy
19. How they fight back: pushes back on authority
20. End Point: swallows her tongue and chokes to death
21. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? She’s the first to die – no one is spared.
Mother Superior Celeste
22. Role: Head of the convent
23. Traits: Forceful, sure of herself protective of those in her care
24. Fears: Her coven is compromised
25. Wants/Needs: To successfully raise the dead.
26. Likability / Rooting factors: She’s charismatic.
27. How they react under stress: Fights.
28. Relationship with other characters: She is respected and feared.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
22. Character Intro: healing circle
23. Denial: that her power can be denied
24. Their reaction at first horror: sees it as a miracle/successful spell.
25. Relation to group after first horror: leads the community.
26. How they fight back: finds the magic within herself.
27. End Point: becomes the mother of god.
28. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? There are many ways to find family.
Father Brian Flynn
29. Role: Rachel’s parish priest
30. Traits: Cynical, cares for Rachel
31. Fears: Rachel is beyond his help
32. Wants/Needs: To see a true miracle.
33. Likability / Rooting factors: Tough old bastard.
34. How they react under stress: Enters the fray.
35. Relationship with other characters: Loved by his congregation.
B. What is their Character Journey for this story?
29. Character Intro: Intervenes after the attack.
30. Denial: Thinks Rachel’s attack is indiscriminate.
31. Their reaction at first horror: to get Rachel to the experts.
32. Relation to group after first horror: tries to help.
33. How they fight back: starts to have faith in God.
34. End Point: priest v witch.
35. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? The Coven always used Father Flynn.
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Peter’s Monster Reveal
A. Who is your monster and what is their terror?
Lilith, the mythic first wife of Adam, who was banished from the Garden of Eden for refusing to submit to her husband. Lilith became synonymous with Samael, the fallen angel know as Lucifer. She is also associated with witches.
• Powers?
Lilith is given dominion over unborn and newly born children and often claims their souls before birth as described in Cabbalistic script and ancient Babylonian writings. Her followers can imitate many of the same miracles in the Christian church.
• Limitations?
Lilith and her followers must maintain a low profile. The Sisters of the First Miracle are a cloistered order within the Catholic church. While they claim to venerate the Virgin Mary and charismatic Catholicism, they are a Coven of Witches.
• Weaknesses?
Lilith is only as powerful as her strongest followers. Her adherents are scattered throughout the globe.
• Plan/Purpose/Appetite?
The Sisters of the First Miracle must deliver a constant supply of pregnant women for Lilith to harvest the souls of the unborn. Ultimately, the sisters are trying to perfect a spell that imitates the one power they don’t possess: the resurrection of the dead. Only in this way can they bring Lilith back into corporeal form.
B. Sequence the reveals.
• Opening/prologue: Rachel is read her fortune
• During 1st Act: Foreshadowing as clues
• Rachel’s baby dies in her womb (Lilith strikes)
• She is attacked in a gas station washroom and another woman takes the dead fetus
• Rachel is left to bleed out and she goes into cardiac arrest
• 1st Act turning point: While dead, Rachel sees a vision of the Virgin Mary
• Her abusive husband tries to stop her from going to the convent for bereavement therapy
• Rachel is demonically attacked in front of all the mothers – the sisters lay on hands
• One the sisters prophesies.
• The sisters deliver Rachel, but not until she levitates off the bed
• 1st half of 2nd Act: The monster is present, but hidden
• the witches curse Rachel’s best friend. She swallows her tongue and dies.
• Midpoint: Monster is worse than we thought
• Father Flynn is concerned for Rachel, but Mother Superior keeps her prisoner.
• 2nd half of 2nd Act: Monster pursuing / attacking characters, delivering clues with each attack
• Rachel’s husband is torn apart of the coven through a spell of bilocation
• 3rd Act: Characters solve the puzzle and fight back, apparently killing monster
• Rachel partakes in the Black Mass and manifests the Stigmata
• Father Flynn tries to save her but is killed by the coven
• Rachel’s stillborn baby becomes the undead vessel for possession by the spirit of Lilith
• Resolution: Lilith literally sucks the life from Rachel
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Pete’s Death Track
What I learned is that each one’s life needs to have meaning before it comes to an end.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Spooky Situations: Doing something forbidden.
Atmosphere of Evil established: A fortune teller gives Rachel bad news about her future at her baby shower.
Connect with the characters: Cian, Rachel’s drunken husband, crashes the baby shower and tells everyone to get out.
The characters are warned not to do it: Rachel tells Cian about the fortune teller. He doesn’t believe that shite and doesn’t want Em filling her head with that nonsense.
Reaction:Denial
Denial of Horror: OBGYN: Rachel’s baby is dead according to the ultrasound, but she must carry it to term for her own safety.
Paranoia Situations: Menacing Stranger
Safety taken away: While stopped at a petrol station, Rachel’s attacked by woman brandishing a knife and her dead baby is cut from her womb – she has a vision of the Virgin Mary.
Character Death #1: Rachel is attacked by another woman.
Why? The baby is cut from her womb by a woman faking a pregnancy.
How? She is cut by a knife and she bleeds to death.
Reaction: Denial
Torture Situations: Injured, wounded or debilitated.
Deceptive Situations: Lured into horror.
A woman faking a pregnancy attacks Rachel and cuts the baby out of her womb and leaves her to bleed out.
Monster: The nature of the beast: With the help of her parish, Father Flynn, she decides to spend time with a convent of nuns who run a parental bereavement group.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated Situations: trapped/being lured into danger.
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The Sisters of the First Miracle are a cloistered convent, so no visitors or mobile devices allowed!
Tormented situation: Possession
Rachel is demonically attacked – the sisters lay hands on her for healing. One sister speaks in a strange tongue. While the nuns touch her body, Rachel begins to levitate off her bed!
Em gets in a yelling match with the nun and cusses her out! The sister warns her to keep a civil tongue in her head.
Torture Situations: see another killed.
One of us killed: That night Em has a convulsion, swallows her tongue and chokes to death.
Character Death #2 Em chokes to death.
Why? She is cursed by a witch.
How? She chokes on her own tongue.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Character Death #3 Sister Mairhead is killed by Celeste.
Why? She challenges the Mother Superior’s authority over the Coven.
How? Unknown.
Full pursuit by the killer: Father Flynn visits and shares the news of Em’s death. Rachel attempts to leave the convent, but Mother Superior locks her in her room.
Pursued Situations: no escape.
Reaction: Fight
Terrorized: Cops show up at the convent to do a welfare check on Rachel. The cops ask her if she’s being harmed. Cian is there and convinces a buddy detective to remove Rachel for her own good. Cian grabs her belongings, and they drive off into the night.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Character Death #4: Cian is torn apart.
Why? Because he abuses Rachel.
How? The Coven cast a spell of bilocation.
Reaction: Escape
Rachel is drawn back to the convent.
Pursued Situations: Impending doom.
Spooky Situations: Doing something forbidden.
Fight to the death: The Black Mass is in honor of Lilith the first wife of Adam!
Tormented situation: Possession
Hysteria: Rachel levitates upside down with her arms outstretched and her legs together. REVERSE STIGMATA!
Reaction: Fight
The thrilling escape from death: Father Flynn tries to interfere stop the witches’ Black Mass, but he too is dispatched in a horrible way.
Character #5: Father Flynn is killed.
Why? Because he tries to stop the Black Mass.
How? Unknown.
Deceptive Situations: Walking into a trap.
Spooky Situations: Face to face with the monster.
Death returns to take one or more: The woman who attacked Rachel at the petrol station appears holding her dead baby. The baby starts to suckle, literally draining the life from Rachel.
Character Death #6 Rachel is killed by her baby.
Why? Colder than a witch’s teat.
How? Lilith literally sucks the life out of Rachel.
Resolution: The soul of Lilith has been transferred to the stillborn baby and the sisters rejoice!
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Pete’s Horror Track Situations
TONGUES
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Spooky Situations: Doing something forbidden.
Atmosphere of Evil established: A fortune teller gives Rachel bad news about her future at her baby shower.
Connect with the characters: Cian, Rachel’s drunken husband, crashes the baby shower and tells everyone to get out.
The characters are warned not to do it: Rachel tells Cian about the fortune teller. He doesn’t believe that shite and doesn’t want Em filling her head with that nonsense.
Reaction:Denial
Denial of Horror: OBGYN: Rachel’s baby is dead according to the ultrasound, but she must carry it to term for her own safety.
Paranoia Situations: Menacing Stranger
Safety taken away: While stopped at a petrol station, Rachel’s attacked by woman brandishing a knife and her dead baby is cut from her womb – she has a vision of the Virgin Mary.
Reaction: Denial
Torture Situations: Injured, wounded or debilitated.
Deceptive Situations: Lured into horror.
A woman faking a pregnancy attacks Rachel and cuts the baby out of her womb and leaves her to bleed out.
Monster: The nature of the beast: With the help of her parish, Father Flynn, she decides to spend time with a convent of nuns who run a parental bereavement group.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated Situations: trapped/being lured into danger.
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The Sisters of the First Miracle are a cloistered convent, so no visitors or mobile devices allowed!
Tormented situation: Possession
Rachel is demonically attacked – the sisters lay hands on her for healing. One sister speaks in a strange tongue. While the nuns touch her body, Rachel begins to levitate off her bed!
Em gets in a yelling match with the nun and cusses her out! The sister warns her to keep a civil tongue in her head.
Torture Situations: see another killed.
One of us killed: That night Em has a convulsion, swallows her tongue and chokes to death.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer: Father Flynn visits and shares the news of Em’s death. Rachel attempts to leave the convent, but Mother Superior locks her in her room.
Pursued Situations: no escape.
Reaction: Fight
Terrorized: Cops show up at the convent to do a welfare check on Rachel. The cops ask her if she’s being harmed. Cian is there and convinces a buddy detective to remove Rachel for her own good. Cian grabs her belongings, and they drive off into the night.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
Reaction: Escape
Rachel is drawn back to the convent.
Pursued Situations: Impending doom.
Spooky Situations: Doing something forbidden.
Fight to the death: The Black Mass is in honor of Lilith the first wife of Adam!
Tormented situation: Possession
Hysteria: Rachel levitates upside down with her arms outstretched and her legs together. REVERSE STIGMATA!
Reaction: Fight
The thrilling escape from death: Father Flynn tries to interfere stop the witches’ Black Mass, but he too is dispatched in a horrible way.
Deceptive Situations: Walking into a trap.
Spooky Situations: Face to face with the monster.
Death returns to take one or more: The woman who attacked Rachel at the petrol station appears holding her dead baby. The baby starts to suckle, literally draining the life from Rachel.
Resolution: The soul of Lilith has been transferred to the stillborn baby and the sisters rejoice!
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Pete’s Horror Plot
What I learned doing this assignment is that things will change.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
Atmosphere of Evil established: Baby shower for Rachel. Tarot card reader and palmist tells her that she has no lifelines in either palm. She pulls the Tower, Death, Devil cards and says something awful is about to happen to her.
Connect with the characters: Cian, Rachel’s drunken husband, crashes the baby shower and tells everyone to get out.
The characters are warned not to do it: Rachel tells Cian about the fortune teller. He doesn’t believe that shite and doesn’t want Em filling her head with that nonsense. Rachel asks if he can go to the doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Cian is passed out on the coach.
Denial of Horror: OBGYN: Rachel’s baby is dead according to the ultrasound, but she must carry it to term for her own safety.
Safety taken away: While stopped at a petrol station, she’s attacked by woman brandishing a knife and her dead baby is cut from her womb! Rachel is left to bleed out and she dies. She has an out of body experience where she sees a vision of the Virgin Mary.
Monster: The nature of the beast: Rachel survives, but experiences terrifying visions. With the help of her parish, Father Flynn, she decides to spend time with a convent of nuns who run a parental bereavement group. Cian who demands that she stay home.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
Isolated / Trapped / Abducted: The Sisters of the First Miracle are a cloistered convent, so no visitors or mobile devices allowed!
The healing circle proves to be a place where all the mothers share their grief. Each performs their own symbolic burial ritual for her dead baby. The rituals bring all the women peace and closure. But not for Rachel who thinks she can hear her baby crying.
Rachel has another Marian dream at home. This time it’s not the Virgin Mary but a visage of a women who is both beautiful and terrible to behold holding her dead baby.
In the healing circle, Rachel confesses that Cian’s physical abuse led to all their babies dying in the womb. Celeste warns she will only know peace when she breaks free.
Rachel is demonically attacked – the sisters lay hands on her for healing. One sister speaks in a strange tongue. While the nuns touch her body, Rachel begins to levitate off her bed!
Rachel finds a phone and calls Em. She tells her of the miraculous things happening to her. She says she feels safe with the sisters and strong enough to leave Cian. One of the sisters insists that Rachel hang up the phone.
Em gets in a yelling match with the nun and cusses her out! The sister warns her to keep a civil tongue in her head.
One of us killed: That night Em has a convulsion, swallows her tongue and chokes to death.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
Full pursuit by the killer: Father Flynn visits and shares the news of Em’s death. Rachel attempts to leave the convent, but Mother Superior locks her in her room.
Father Flynn objects, but Mother Superior warns him that sending Rachel home would mean another beating or worse at the hands of Cian.
That night after dinner, Rachel watches the nuns during their evening vespers and notices that they perform the sign of the cross upside down. Sister Celeste tells Rachel that women played a huge part in the first century church and their voices were suppressed by men.
Mother Superior Celeste claims an alternate gospel of Jesus life written by Mary Magdalene. It states that Jesus first miracle was raising a stillborn baby from the dead, not turning water into wine! That’s why the order is called Sisters of The First Miracle. They operate outside the auspices of the Catholic Church.
Terrorized: Cops show up at the convent to do a welfare check on Rachel. The cops ask her if she’s being harmed. Cian is there and convinces a buddy detective to remove Rachel for her own good. Cian grabs her belongings, and they drive off into the night.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
The sisters perform a bizarre incantation.
Cian assaults Rachel! But this time, doppelgangers of the sisters (bilocation) are there to defend her. Cian is killed in a most horrible manner.
Rachel drives back to the convent and can’t find anyone. She sees a fire deep in the forest and the sound of chanting in an unfamiliar language (Enochian tongues)
Fight to the death: Rachel follows the voices. The Sisters are dressed in white robes and standing in a pit in front of an effigy of a woman is Mother Superior Celeste. The Black Mass is in honor of Lilith the first wife of Adam!
The sisters drop their robes, and the chanting becomes more intense. Rachel is given unholy communion. She is offered up to Lilith, but not as a sacrifice. Instead, she is venerated by the Coven as blessed among women!
Hysteria: Rachel goes into a trance. She levitates upside with her arms outstretched and her legs together. She bleeds from scratch marks on her back, her hands, feet and vaginal area. REVERSE STIGMATA!
The thrilling escape from death: Father Flynn tries to interfere stop the witches’ Black Mass, but he too is dispatched in a horrible way.
Death returns to take one or more: The woman who attacked Rachel at the petrol station appears holding her dead baby. Celeste asks Rachel to be the mother of the new god. She takes the baby and puts its lips to a superfluous breast she has grown. The baby starts to suckle, literally draining the life from Rachel.
Resolution: The soul of Lilith has been transferred to the stillborn baby and the sisters of The First Miracle rejoice!
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Pete’s Characters for Horror
DYING PATTERN: A. Put 6 to 8 characters together and kill them off one by one.
CHARACTERS:
LEADER: MOTHER SUPERIOR CELESTE (60s) – The abbess of the Sisters of the First Miracle, a cloistered convent who practice a form of charismatic Catholicism and believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the power of miracles.
INNOCENT/SACRIFICIAL: RACHEL (20s) a young woman with a traumatic past who has overcome her darkness by embracing faith. She’s also in an abusive relationship that’s slowly killing her.
OUT OF CONTROL: CIAN (30) – Rachel’s husband: a controlling, abusive man who drinks excessively and beats his wife so all of their babies are all stillborn.
RESCUER/MORAL ONE: FATHER FLYNN (50s) – Rachel’s parish priest and the closest thing she has to a real father figure. He thinks the Sisters are the best thing for her. He’s an unorthodox man of faith who will do anything to protect Rachel.
RED HERRING: SISTER MAIREAD (20s)–While in disguise as a pregnant woman attacks Rachel and cuts the unborn fetus from her womb. We find out later that she was acting on orders of the Coven. She’s Rachel’s fake friend at the convent.
THE CARRIER: A proxy for the Virgin Mary, THE HOLY MOTHER (LILITH) is the entity worshipped by the nuns. She is the source of Rachel’s visions and eventually drags the whole coven into a spell that they cannot control which eventually consumes them all.
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Pete’s Terrifying Monster
1. Tell us what or who your monster is.
My monster is portrayed as the Virgin Mary by a convent of charasmatic nuns who are a witches coven. The Holy Mother is an ancient demon in deguise; Lilith, the mythic first wife of Adam.
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
Their Terror:<div>
An isolated convent in the Irish countryside where the Sisters of the First Miracle run a parental bereavement group for women who have lost their children. The women are unaware of the Sisters’ true purpose.
<div>
Their Mystery:
The Sisters are a cloistered convent operating outside of the auspices of the Catholic church who celebrate the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the performance of modern day miracles. In reality, their miracles are the result of dark witchcraft.
Their Fear Provoking Appearance: While appearing as normal nuns on the outside, they are a vicious coven of witches who sacrifice children to an ancient deity trying to make it’s way back to our plane of existence.
Their Rules: the women who are selected by Sister Celeste to attend grief therapy have had their babies harvested by Lilith unbeknownst to them. Each one taken in vitro as a sacrifice to her. Once the mothers are indoctinated by the sisters, they return back to their normal lives as silent adherents to Lilith. Women who are not open to the witchcraft, disappear.
Their Mythology: The Sisters of the First Miracle are a coven of witches hiding in plain sight within the Catholic Church. Escaping the witch trials that swept through Europe and America, the coven worships Adam’s first wife, Lilith, who they believe will return one day in human form and bring about fall of the Holy Roman Empire.
</div></div>
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Pete Symons
Seven scripts.
Second time repeat
This course rocks and so do the Croasmuns
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What I learned doing this assignment is a solid core concept is priceless.
Subject line: Tongues Horror Conventions
Title / Concept:The VVitch- 1600s American Puritan family is destroyed by a witch.Terrorize The Characters: Death of baby Sam. The fear of the witch of the wood. The paranoia that Thomison is actually the witch and has cursed the family. The devil has taken hold in a family torn apart by evangelical zeal. The fear they do not deserve gods grace. Omens of evil. Crops destroyed by blight. Dead Chick in egg. Twins in league with Black Phillip. Isolation: “The Wood” near the family’s meager homestead frowns down on them line Draculas tower waiting to devour them. Death: Portents of death. Rabbit, goat, blood in milk. Death of Baby Sam. Death of Caleb by the witch.Death of twins by the crone. Death of William, gored by Black Phillip. Death of Katherine by Thomason in self defense. Monster/Villain: The witch of the wood. The dissolution of the family unit by external and internal pressures both natural and supernatural.High Tension: pressure mounts as the witch takes hold on the family.Departure from Reality: The Witch is a modern day fairytale of puritanical piety.Moral Statement: pride goeth before a fall.
3. Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film?
Perhaps the most accurate depiction of puritanical America ever produced.
4. With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
Concept: Tongues. A convent of charismatic nuns who are actually a coven of witches use miracles as a coverup for casting spellsTerrorize The Characters:Isolation: Irish convent in the countryside Death: Rachel’s stillborn baby cut from her womb by a woman pretending to be pregnant; death of Rachel’s husband by the coven; death of sister by Rachel; possession of her dead baby by Lilith, first wife of Adam.Monster/Villain: Lilith; Sister Celeste High Tension: The sisters draw in Rachel as the family she never had. Using her to as a way to bring her baby back from death to serve as a vessel for Lilith Departure from Reality: a broken woman is asked to take a leap of faith and believe in a miracle that comes at a terrible price Moral Statement: Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
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Peter’s Intentional Lead Characters
My Vision
In five years, I’m a successful screenwriter and producer living and working in the movie business in Canada and the US.MEAT WAGON
A gangster on the run takes a priest and his hearse hostage on Halloween night only discover to discover that the body in the back is his own.
Dramatic Triangle
Character: Carlos Ramirez, 20’s, career criminal year
Logline: Carlos ‘The Scorpion’ has been trying to leave his gang life behind him for the sake of his wife, Dani and their newborn son, Alejandro — but one more score proved too much of a temptation.
Unique: Carlos is already dead and his soul is on the way to Hell.
Character: Father Diego, 70’s, priest and hearse driver; loyal servant to the Saint of Death
Logline: Father Diego is the driver of the hearse that ferries the souls of the damned to the gates of Hell– but he has other plans for Carlos
Unique: Father Diego has been dead for almost 60 years.
Character: Dani Ramirez, 20’s, a Christian woman who prays for her husband’s soul
Logline: Dani sees the man that Carlos can become and believes that one day he will find salvation.
Unique: Dani prays to God and to Santa Muerte for protection.
Character: The Meat Wagon
Logline: A possessed 1930’s funeral carriage that looks like modern hearse to all those who see her – but her true appearance is only visible to those touched by death.
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Persistant Pete Began Act 2
Vision: I envision a fulfilling career as a prolific screenwriter and producer in both film and streaming platforms and the resulting financial freedom to live in both Canada and the US.
WIL: Two ten minute sprints and two scenes completed. Not perfect. But that’s the point.
Title: Día de Muertos
High Concept: A reformed Mexican gangster takes a night job driving a hearse; a tough job by any measure, made supernaturally challenging because the body is the back is his own.
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Title: Día de Muertos
Genre: Horror
Concept: High Concept: A reformed Mexican gangster takes a night job driving a hearse – a tough job by any measure—made supernaturally challenging because the body is the back is his own.
VISION: I want a fulfilling career as a prolific screenwriter and producer in both film and streaming platforms and financial freedom to live in both Canada and the US.
WIL: Race against time to speed write.
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Peter’s Act I Rough Draft
MY VISION:
Title: Día de Muertos
Genre: Horror
Concept: High Concept: A reformed Mexican gangster takes a night job driving a hearse – a tough job by any measure—made supernaturally challenging because the body is the back is his own.
HOW IT WENT: The first act was a major turning point for me. I wrote it quickly. But I still need to work on a timer! Thanks to the work I put into the outline and notes from another ScreenwritingU colleague, it was a very satisfying experience.
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Peter’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1
WIL: I can do this!
Vision: I am a prolific screenwriter with a reputation for writing successful horror movies that terrify the audience long after they leave the theater.
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Peter’s High Speed Writing Rules
Vision: I am a prolific screenwriter with a reputation for writing successful horror movies that terrify the audience long after they leave the theater.
WIL: Writing at speed is a shift of your mindset.
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Subject Line: Peter’s Act 1 First Draft Part 1
My vision: I write powerful horror movies that people remember long after they’ve left the theater.
What I learned from doing this assignment is: I can write 6 pages in under an hour when I’m not shackled to perfectionism. I listened the module lecture 3 times to underscore the principles of high speed writing and I am happy to report that it works! Despite being laid low by COVID, I’m just about caught up to class.
Title: Highway to Hell
Genre: Horror
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Peter’s New Outline Beats.
TITLE: Highway to Hell
GENRE: Horror
1. EXT. DESTROYER HOUSE – DAY
MS-13 gangsters gather around a makeshift altar venerating Our Lady of Death or Santa Muerte. (more interesting setting)
Beginning: JUDE (30) performs a ritual offering while three members of his crew watch in fascination. (intrigue)
Middle: On a makeshift altar are guns, bullets, bottles of oil and alcohol, cigarettes, and a photo of a handsome Latino man (this is Carlos, 28) next to a statue of Santa Muerte.
Ending: While Jude says a prayer in Spanish, he takes a drag on the cigarette and blows it in a ceremonial fashion over the photo of Carlos. (suspense)
2.EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Carlos cleans up after a funeral and says his final goodbye to his former associate and childhood friend, Hector.
Beginning: Carlos gathers funeral paraphernalia and puts it into the back of a hearse. (interesting setting)
Middle: Carlos stands at the grave side as the sparse number of mourners leave.
Ending: Carlos says a final goodbye to his childhood friend, Hector. (internal dilemma)
3.INT. HEARSE – DAY
Carlos talks to his wife Dani (25) about how weird it is to bury his own friend.
Beginning: Tough guy Carlos is teary when he gets a call from his wife, Dani. (surprise)
Middle: Carlos and Hector were inducted into MS-13 as teens and Carlos was trying to get him out of the gang life.
Ending: Hector was shot 14 times by cops in a drug deal gone bad – Carlos never got to say goodbye. (external dilemma)
4.EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Jude and three MS-13 gangsters confront Carlos in the graveyard.
Beginning: Jude makes fun of Carlos because he wears a tie and sports coat. (Intrigue)
Middle: Jude accuses Carlos of being snitch to the cops about the drug bust. (suspense)
Ending: He throws a packet of drugs at Carlos and calls him a dog working for scraps. (conflict)
5.INT. CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dani tells Carlos that she is pregnant with their second child.
Beginning: Dani tells Carlos she’s pregnant with their second child. (surprise)
Middle: Carlos worries he doesn’t make enough money to pay the bills like his father before he abandoned the family. (uncertainty)
Ending: Dani is hurt, and Carlos slams his fists on the table and wakes up Alejandro.
6.EXT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
Carlos puffs on a cigarette as he weighs a decision and places a call to Jude.
Beginning: Carlos examines the white packet of drugs. (suspense)
Middle: He looks a of Dani and young Alejandro and knows they are the most precious thing in the world. (internal dilemma)
Ending: Carlos places a call to Jude. (surprise)
7. INT. CHURCH – DAY.
CARLOS gives his confession to Fr. DIEGO (70).
Beginning: Carlos tells the priest that he is tempted by his former life as a gangster. (intrigue)
Middle: Fr. Diego tells him it’s okay to look temptation in the eye, but not to give in to it. (internal dilemma)
Ending: Father Diego tells Carlos to say ten Hail Mary’s and 5 Our Fathers.
8. INT. MORTUARY – DAY
Carlos watches as Father Diego preps a body for burial while being propositioned to take over the funeral business.
Beginning: Fr. Diego prepares a body for burial. (intrigue)
Middle: Father Diego tells him that one time someone helped him when he was lost – he too was once a violent man on the highway to hell. (setup)
Ending: Father Diego tells Carlos that he wants him to take his place.
9. EXT. CARLOS HOUSE – NIGHT
Carlos meets Jude to arrange a short-term loan – he also gets drugs.
Beginning: Carlos meets Jude outside his house for a loan. (intrigue)
Middle: Jude tells Carlos that he knew he’d be back. Jude tells Carlos that he was never cut out to be a husband and father. He’s The Scorpion. (internal dilemma)
Ending: Carlos lies to Dani when she asks who was in the car. (uncomfortable moment)
10.INT. FUNERAL HOME GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos is depressed and takes the drugs given to him by Jude.
Beginning: Carlos snorts the drugs. (major twist)
Middle: The meth turns out to be laced with fentanyl (surprise)
Ending: Carlos has a seizure and drops to the garage floor. (suspense)
11.INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos in a fog hears a voice whispering his name — he follows the voice out back of the garage.
Beginning: Carlos is tripping because he hears voices. (surprise)
Middle: In the back of the funeral home is a 1937 Henney Packard hearse with a silver Santa Muerte as a hood ornament. (suspense)
Ending: Carlos sits in the old hearse and is mesmerized by her. (interesting setting)
12. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Santa Muerte offers Carlos a deal.
Beginning: Carlos sees a vision of the Saint of Death. (surprise)
Middle: She offers her protection over his family in exchange for his soul. (dilemma)
Ending: Carlos is given a HOBO COIN with her image engraved on it in exchange for his word. (mystery)
ACT II
13. EXT. GARAGE – DAY
Carlos is brought back to consciousness by Father Diego.
Beginning: Carlos is still having a bad trip as Father Diego brings him back. (misinterpretation)
Middle: He tells the old priest that he had this bizarre hallucination about an old hearse. (intrigue)
Ending: Carlos pulls the HOBO COIN from his pocket and shows Father Diego. (surprise)
14. INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
The priest gives him the history of the Meat Wagon through pictures on the wall of the funeral home.
Beginning: Fr. Diego tells Carlos that the old hearse used to transport some bad asses in its day – murderers, rapists, death row inmates, and mobsters. (intrigue)
Middle: Locals said it transported the souls of the damned into the underworld on the Day of the Dead.
Ending: He shows Carlos the rusting husk of the vintage hearse behind the funeral home. (surprise, suspense)
15. EXT. GROCERY STORE – DAY
Jude and the boys harass Dani as she packs groceries into her SUV while trying to juggle Alejandro.
Beginning: Jude tells Dani that her husband owes him money and he’s late paying his debt. (uncomfortable moment)
Middle: Dani tries to ignore the gangsters who threaten her physically if she doesn’t come up with the money. (dilemma)
Ending: Jude tells her that he will take it out in trade. (uncomfortable moment)
16. EXT. CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The gang burns down Carlos’s house and kills Dani and Alejandro.
Beginning: Carlos hears a car out front of the house and looks out the window. (suspense)
Middle: The gangsters throw Molotov cocktails through the windows of the house. (surprise)
Ending: Carlos yells at Dani to grab the baby and run– but she ignores him. She’s overcome by the smoke. (external dilemma)
17. INT. MORGUE – DAY
Father Diego takes delivery of a body from a coroner’s van at the funeral home.
Beginning: Father Diego tells the First Call van driver that he’s been expecting this body. (intrigue)
Middle: We don’t see the body it’s rolled right into the morgue in a body bag. (suspense)
Ending: There’s a second, much smaller body bag. (mislead)
ACT III
18. EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos wakes up driving the hearse and hears from a demonic presence.
Beginning: Carlos wakes up behind the wheel of the old hearse and just about runs off the road. (surprise)
Middle: The radio cycles through channels until it stops on one station where an old-time fire-breathing gospel preacher expounds on the virtues of accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. (intrigue)
Ending: The voice morphs into a female, Spanish speaking entity who tells Carlos not to look behind him no matter what. (mystery)
19. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos if freaking and calls Dani who weeps profusely and asks him why he won’t leave her alone.
Beginning: Carlos calls Dani on his cell phone – thinks he’s still having a bad drug trip.
Middle: The cell phone signal is weak – but Dani answers, her voice is distant.
Ending: She tells Carlos to leave her alone, she doesn’t want to hear from him again!
20. EXT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is.
Beginning: Jude and the boys show up to the funeral home.
Middle: They try and intimidate Father Diego.
Ending: The old priest warns them that they have no idea what they are dealing with.
21. EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos sees dead people on the side of the highway.
Beginning: Carlos drives under duress to an unknown destination.
Middle: He sees dead people on the side of the road (the former occupants of the Meat Wagon)
Ending: One of them holds a machete and has a distinctive autopsy scar.
22. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries wrestle control of the Meat Wagon from Santa Muerte.
Beginning: Carlos tries to put on the brakes, but the Meat Wagon won’t stop.
Middle: The steering wheel jerks violently out of his grip.
Ending: In the back, we hear movement in a coffin – Carlos doesn’t dare look behind him.
23. EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude catches up with the Meat Wagon and sees no driver inside!
Beginning: Jude and the boys overtake the Meat Wagon.
Middle: Jude pulls a gun to shoot Carlos, but…
Ending: There’s no driver!
ACT IV
24. EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
The Meat Wagon is now in pursuit of Jude and the boys.
Beginning: Jude and the boys fire at the Meat Wagon to no effect. (surprise)
Middle: He guns the chipped Japanese engine. (suspense)
Ending: But the old phantom hearse fires to supernatural life in pursuit. (uncertainty)
25. EXT. HIGHWAY- NIGHT
Carlos calls Jude’s cell phone it’s the last thing he’ll ever hear.
Beginning: Jude’s phone rings it’s Carlos. (intrigue)
Middle: Jude is fully paranoid now that the Meat Wagon is closing in on him (suspense, surprise)
Ending: Carlos warns Jude to watch the road in front of him – the figure with the autopsy scar carrying the machete stands in front of Jude. He swerves to miss and rolls the car. (reveal)
26. EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude is decapitated and his head is placed on the hood ornament of the hearse.
Beginning: Jude is the only one to crawl out of the burning wreckage.
Middle: He turns to face the corpse wielding the machete just in time to watch his head come away from his neck.
Ending: The corpse plants Jude’s head on the angelic hood ornament of the Meat Wagon.
27. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos watches from within the Meat Wagon as the machete-wielding figure plants Jude’s head on the hood ornament.
Beginning: Carlos is horrified to see his former associate’s head as a hood ornament. (superior position)
Middle: The Meat Wagon guns its engine and continues down the Highway to Hell.
Ending: Carlos is not in control.
28. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos hears movement in the coffin behind him and he tries to escape.
Beginning: Carlos looks behind him.
Middle: Santa Muerte blinds him.
Ending: Carlos eyes are white, and his mouth is now sewn shut.
29. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos fumbles his cell phone and tries to dial out but can’t.
Beginning: Carlos can sense that something is behind him.
Middle: We see the coffin lid open.
Ending: The entire interior of the hearse is engulfed in unholy fire!
30. INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Carlos FLASHES BACK to reveal the body on the Father Diego’s morgue table was HIS! He’s been DEAD all along! The bald corpse with the machete turns out to be CARLOS.
Beginning: We see through the eyes of Carlos’s ghost: we are watching as Father Diego performs an arcane ritual on his body.
Middle: The old priest recites the Apostle’s Creed in Spanish: “He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again from the dead. He will come again to judge the quick and the dead.”
Ending: Carlos’s head is shaved, and the old priest tattoos his forehead with an upside down cross. He places the HOBO COIN with Santa Muerte’s image engraved on it into the corpse’s mouth sutures the lips shut. (misinterpretation)
31. INT. FUNERAL HOME _ NIGHT
FLASHBACK: The old priest surgically removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo from his arm and places the dead flesh in preservative. We pan and see hundreds of tattoos mounted and framed like trophies on the walls.
Beginning: Father Diego removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo and puts it in embalming fluid.
Middle: The old priest is taking a tattoo off his latest victim.
Ending: We see a wall full of flesh-trophies on the walls of the morgue.
32. INT. MORGUE – NIGHT
When Father Diego cleans up after the procedure, he changes his shirt, and we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest. And hanging around the old priest’s neck is a HOBO coin engraved with the image of Santa Muerte.
Beginning: FB: Father Diego cleans up after preparing Carlos’s body. (superior position)
Middle: He changes his shirt, and we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest! (twist)
Ending: Hanging around the old man’s neck is a HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image engraved on it. (surprise)
33. INT. COFFIN – NIGHT
Carlos’s body is trapped in the coffin in the Meat Wagon and burns!
Beginning: Carlos now wakes up INSIDE the coffin. (external dilemma)
Middle: He bangs on the lid to get out and tries to scream but his lips are sewn shut. (suspense)
Ending: Carlos ignites on fire in the coffin as the entire Meat Wagon bursts into flames and drives on down the highway. (uncertainty)
35. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
At Carlos’s funeral, his intact coffin is lowered into the ground and Dani silently weeps.
Beginning: Dani and Alejandro are still alive. (mislead)
Middle: Carlos has been dead all along and we aren’t sure what’s real.
Ending: Father Diego recites John 11: “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” (set up)
36. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Father Diego gives a final benediction and pours oil on the casket. The mourners drift away.
Beginning: Dani and Alejandro are still alive – Carlos hallucinated the house fire. (mislead)
Middle: Father Diego gives a benediction that is really necromancy. (twist)
Ending: Father Diego smiles and performs an UPSIDE-DOWN sign of the cross.
37. EXT. GRAVE – DAY
As the dirt is back hoed on to the coffin, we see the slightest movement…
Beginning: The funeral is over. (suspense)
Middle: The backhoe fills in the grave with soil.
Ending: Carlos is buried, but do we see movement?
.
38. EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
A hand punches through the freshly dug soil.
Beginning: The mound of freshly laid soil is silent. (intrigue)
Middle: Then the soil ripples from beneath. (suspense)
Ending: A hand reaches up from the soil. (reveal)
.
39. EXT. STREET – NIGHT
One year later, Day of the Dead celebrations ensue. But for the locals who believe in the legend, light a black candle so the Meat Wagon, with Carlos behind the wheel, passes them by.
Beginning: The freshly polished Meat Wagon is heard coming in the distance.
Middle: But only those who venerate Santa Muerte can hear her pass by.
End: Black candles are lit as protection from its evil.
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Peter’s First scene!
Vision: I am a prolific screenwriter with a reputation for writing successful horror movies that terrifies the audience long after they leave the theater.
WIL: With the basic elements already present in the outline, the scene was fast and easy to write. No writer’s block. I’m giving myself permission to write the 30% draft.
Title: MEAT WAGON
Concept: When a reformed gangster gets trapped inside a possessed hearse on the Highway to Hell, he discovers that the body in the coffin is his own.
ASSIGNMENT:
The outline is essential to help you speed race – assignment went smooth and flowed.
Tell us how the process went for you:
I am really rusty. I’ve been stuck in a state of perfectionism for a long time. This is a major breakthrough. I wrote fast and left the mistakes on the page.
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Talk about late to the party…
Recovering from COVID. Anyone want to exchange feedback?
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Peter’s fascinating scene outlines!
Vision: I write such disturbing but relatable horror movies that audiences come back for more!
WIL: this exercise forces you to deal with the things I like to call improbably reality. The stuff that makes the hair on the back of your neck standup.
1. EXT. DESTROYER HOUSE – DAY
MS-13 gangsters gather around a makeshift altar venerating Our Lady of Death or Santa Muerte. (more interesting setting)
Beginning: JUDE (30) performs a ritual offering while three members of his crew watch fascination. (intrigue)
Middle: On a makeshift altar are guns, bullets, bottles of oil and alcohol, cigarettes, and a photo of a handsome Latino man (this is Carlos 28) next to a statue of Santa Muerte.
Ending: While Jude says a prayer in Spanish, he takes a drag on the cigarette and blows it in a ceremonial fashion over the photo of Carlos. (suspense)
2.EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Carlos cleans up after a funeral and says his final goodbye to his former associate and childhood friend, Hector.
Beginning: Carlos gathers funeral paraphernalia and puts it into the back of a hearse. (interesting setting)
Middle: Carlos stands at the grave side as the sparse number of mourners leave.
Ending: Carlos says a final goodbye to his childhood friend, Hector. (internal dilemma)
3.INT. HEARSE – DAY
Carlos talks to his wife Dani (25) about how weird it is to bury his own friend.
Beginning: Tough guy Carlos is teary when he gets a call from his wife, Dani. (surprise)
Middle: Carlos and Hector were inducted into MS-13 as teens and Carlos was trying to get him out of the gang life.
Ending: Hector was shot 14 times by cops in a drug deal gone bad – Carlos never got to say goodbye. (external dilemma)
4.EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Jude and three MS-13 gangsters confront Carlos in the graveyard.
Beginning: Jude makes fun of Carlos because he wears a tie and sports coat. (Intrigue)
Middle: Jude accuses Carlos of being snitch to the cops about the drug bust. (suspense)
Ending: He throws a packet of drugs at Carlos and calls him a dog working for scraps.(conflict)
5.INT. CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dani tells Carlos that she is pregnant with their second child.
Beginning: Dani tells Carlos she’s pregnant with their second child. (surprise)
Middle: Carlos worries he doesn’t make enough money to pay the bills like his father before he abandoned the family. (uncertainty)
Ending: Dani is hurt, and Carlos slams his fists on the table and wakes up Alejandro.
6.EXT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
Carlos puffs on a cigarette as he weighs a decision and places a call to Jude.
Beginning: Carlos examines the white packet of drugs. (suspense)
Middle: He looks a of Dani and young Alejandro and knows they are the most precious thing in the world. (internal dilemma)
Ending: Carlos places a call to Jude. (surprise)
7. INT. CHURCH – DAY.
CARLOS gives his confession to Fr. DIEGO (70).
Beginning: Carlos tells the priest that he is tempted by his former life as a gangster. (intrigue)
Middle: Fr. Diego tells him it’s okay to look temptation in the eye, but not to give in to it. (internal dilemma)
Ending: Father Diego tells Carlos to say ten Hail Mary’s and 5 Our Fathers.
8. INT. MORTUARY – DAY
Carlos watches as Father Diego prep a body for burial while being propositioned to take over the funeral business.
Beginning: Fr. Diego prepares a body for burial. (intrigue)
Middle: Father Diego tells him that one time someone helped him when he was lost – he too was once a violent man (surprise)
Ending: Father Diego tells Carlos that he wants him to take his place at the funeral home.
9. EXT. CARLOS HOUSE – NIGHT
Carlos meets Jude to arrange a short-term loan – he also gets drugs.
Beginning: Carlos meets Jude outside his house for a loan. (intrigue)
Middle: Jude tells Carlos that he knew he’d be back. Jude tells Carlos that he was never cut out to be a husband and father. He’s The Scorpion. (internal dilemma)
Ending: Carlos lies to Dani when she asks who was in the car. (uncomfortable moment)
10.INT. FUNERAL HOME GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos is depressed and takes the drugs given to him by Jude.
Beginning: Carlos snorts the drugs. (major twist)
Middle: The meth turns out to be laced with fentanyl (surprise)
Ending: Carlos has a seizure and drops to the garage floor. (suspense)
11.INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos hears a voice whispering his name — he follows the voice out back of the garage.
Beginning: Carlos is tripping because he thinks he hears voices. (surprise)
Middle: In the back of the funeral home is a 1937 Henney Packard hearse. (suspense)
Ending: Carlos sits in the old hearse and is mesmerized by her. (interesting setting)
12.INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Santa Muerte offers Carlos a deal.
Beginning: Carlos sees a vision of the Saint of Death. (surprise)
Middle: She offers her protection over his family if he gives her his soul. (dilemma)
Ending: Carlos is given a HOBO coin with her image engraved on it in exchange for his word. (mystery)
ACT II
13. EXT. GARAGE – DAY
Carlos is brought back to consciousness by Father Diego.
Beginning: Carlos is still having a bad trip as Father Diego brings him back. (misinterpretation)
Middle: He tells the old priest that he had this bizarre hallucination about an old hearse. (intrigue)
Ending: Carlos pulls the HOBO coin from his pocket and shows Father Diego. (surprise)
14. INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
The priest gives him the history of the Meat Wagon through pictures on the wall of the funeral home.
Beginning: Fr. Diego tells Carlos the local legend that the Meat Wagon ferried the darkest souls to Hell. (intrigue)
Middle: Father Diego tells him the coin payment for the damned soul to take its final trip into the underworld on the Day of the Dead.
Ending: He shows Carlos the rusting husk of the vintage hearse behind the funeral home. (surprise, suspense)
15. EXT. GROCERY STORE – DAY
Jude and the boys harass Dani as she packs groceries into her SUV while trying to juggle Alejandro.
Beginning: Jude tells Dani that her husband owes him money and he’s late paying his debt. (uncomfortable moment)
Middle: Dani tries to ignore the gangsters who threaten her physically if she doesn’t come up with the money. (dilemma)
Ending: Jude tells her that he will take it out in trade. (dilemma)
16. EXT. CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The gang burns down Carlos’s house and kills Dani and Alejandro.
Beginning: Carlos hears a car out front of the house and looks out the window. (suspense)
Middle: The gangsters throw Molotov cocktails through the windows of the house. (surprise)
Ending: Carlos yells at Dani to grab the baby and run– but she ignores him. She’s overcome by the smoke. (external dilemma)
17. INT. MORGUE – DAY
Father Diego takes delivery of a body from a coroner’s van at the funeral home.
Beginning: Father Diego tells the First Call van driver that he’s been expecting this body. (intrigue)
Middle: We don’t see the body it’s rolled right into the morgue in a body bag. (suspense)
Ending: There’s a second, much smaller body bag. (mislead)
ACT III
18. EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos wakes up driving the hearse and hears from a demonic presence.
Beginning: Carlos is behind the wheel of the old hearse and just about runs off the road. (surprise)
Middle: The radio cycles through channels until it stops at one where an old-time gospel preacher talking about burning in hell. (intrigue)
Ending: The voice morphs into that of Santa Muerte who tells Carlos not to look behind him no matter what. Carlos sees a coffin in the rear-view mirror! (mystery)
19. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos calls Dani who weeps profusely and asks him why he won’t leave her alone.
Beginning: Carlos calls Dani on his cell phone – thinks he’s having a bad drug trip.
Middle: The cell phone signal is weak – but Dani answers, her voice from a distance.
Ending: She tells Carlos to leave her alone, she doesn’t want to hear from him again.
20. EXT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is.
Beginning: Jude and the boys show up to the funeral home.
Middle: They try and intimidate Father Diego.
Ending: The old priest warns them that they have no idea what they are dealing with.
21. EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
We see the dead people on the side of the highway.
Beginning: Carlos drives under duress to an unknown destination.
Middle: He sees dead people on the side of the road (the former occupants of the Meat Wagon)
Ending: One of them holds a machete and has a distinctive autopsy scar.
22 .INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries wrestle control of the Meat Wagon from Santa Muerte
Beginning: Carlos tries to put on the brakes, but the Meat Wagon won’t stop. (
Middle: The steering wheel jerks violently out of his grip.
Ending: In the back, we hear movement in the coffin – Carlos doesn’t dare look behind him.
23 .EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude catches up with the Meat Wagon and sees no driver inside!
Beginning: Jude and the boys overtake the Meat Wagon.
Middle: Jude pulls a gun to shoot Carlos, but…
Ending: There’s no driver!
ACT IV
24. EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
The Meat Wagon is now in pursuit of Jude and the chase ends badly.
Beginning: Jude and the boys fire at the Meat Wagon to no effect. (surprise)
Middle: They gun their chipped Japanese engine and take off. (suspense)
Ending: But the old Detroit big block V8 in the phantom hearse fires to life in pursuit. (uncertainty)
25. EXT. HIGHWAY- NIGHT
Carlos calls Jude’s cell phone it’s the last thing he’ll ever hear.
Beginning: Jude’s phone rings it’s Carlos. (intrigue)
Middle: Jude is fully paranoid now that the Meat Wagon is closing in on him (suspense, surprise)
Ending: Carlos warns Jude to watch the road in front of him – the figure with the autopsy scar carrying the machete stands in front of Jude. He swerves to miss and rolls the car. (reveal)
26. EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude is decapitated and his head is placed on the hood ornament of the hearse.
Beginning: Jude is the only one to crawl out of the burning wreckage.
Middle: He turns to face the corpse wielding the machete just in time to watch his head come away from his neck.
Ending: The corpse plants Jude’s head on the angelic hood ornament of the Meat Wagon.
27. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos watches from within the Meat Wagon as the machete-wielding figure plants Jude’s head on the hood ornament.
Beginning: Carlos is horrified to see his former associate’s head as a hood ornament. (superior position)
Middle: The Meat Wagon guns its engine and continues down the Highway to Hell.
Ending: Carlos is not in control.
28. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos hears movement in the coffin behind him and he tries to escape.
Beginning: Carlos looks behind him.
Middle: Santa Muerte blinds him.
Ending: Carlos eyes are white and his mouth is now sewn shut.
29. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos fumbles his cell phone and tries to dial out but can’t.
Beginning: Carlos can sense that something is behind him.
Middle: We see the coffin lid open.
Ending: The entire interior of the hearse is engulfed in unholy fire!
30. INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was HIS.
Beginning: We see through the eyes of Carlos’s ghost – we are watching as Father Diego performs an arcane ritual on his body.
Middle: The old priest recites the Apostle’s Creed in Spanish: “I believe in God the Father Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth and in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again from the dead. He will come again to judge the quick and the dead.”
Ending: Carlos’s head is shaved, and the old priest tattoos his forehead with an upside down cross. He places the HOBO coin in its mouth and sutures the lips shut. (misinterpretation)
31. INT. FUNERAL HOME _ NIGHT
FB: The old priest then removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative and we see hundreds of tattoos mounted and framed like trophies on the walls.
Beginning: We see through the eyes of Carlos’s ghost – we are watching as Father Diego performs an arcane ritual on his body. (superior position)
Middle: The old priest recites the Apostle’s Creed in Spanish: “I believe in God the Father Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth and in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again from the dead. He will come again to judge the quick and the dead.”
Ending: Carlos’s corpse’s head is shaved, and the old priest tattoos its forehead with an upside down cross. He places the HOBO coin in its mouth and sutures the lips shut. (twist)
32. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos realizes he never recovered from the OD – he’s been dead all along.
Beginning: FB: We see through the eyes of Carlos’s ghost – we are watching as Father Diego performs an arcane ritual on his body. (superior position)
Middle: The old priest recites the Apostle’s Creed in Spanish: “I believe in God the Father Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth and in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again from the dead. He will come again to judge the quick and the dead.”
Ending: Carlos’s corpse’s head is shaved, and the old priest tattoos its forehead with an upside down cross. He places the HOBO coin in its mouth and sutures the lips shut. (betrayal)
33. INT. MORGUE – NIGHT
When Father Diego cleans up after the procedure, he changes his shirt, and we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest. And hanging around the old priest’s neck is a HOBO coin engraved with the image of Santa Muerte.
Beginning: FB: Father Diego cleans up after preparing Carlos’s body. (superior position)
Middle: He changes his shirt, and we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest! (twist)
Ending: Hanging around the old man’s neck is a HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image engraved on it. (surprise)
34. INT. COFFIN – NIGHT
Carlos is trapped in a coffin in the Meat Wagon and burns!
Beginning: Carlos is trapped in the coffin. (external dilemma)
Middle: He bangs on the lid to get out and tries to scream but his lips are sewn shut. (suspense)
Ending: Carlos burns in the coffin as the entire Meat Wagon bursts into flames and drives on down the highway. (uncertainty)
35. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
At Carlos’s funeral his coffin is lowered into the ground and Dani silently weeps.
Beginning: Dani and Alejandro are still alive. (mislead)
Middle: Carlos has been dead all along and we aren’t sure what’s real.
Ending: Father Diego recites John 11: “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” (set up)
36. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Father Diego gives a final benediction and pours oil on the casket. The mourners drift away .
Beginning: Dani and Alejandro are still alive. (mislead)
Middle: Carlos has been dead all along and we aren’t sure what’s real. (twist)
Ending: Father Diego recites John 11: “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” (set up)
37. EXT. GRAVE – DAY
As the dirt is back hoed on to the coffin, we see the slightest movement from coming from the coffin…
Beginning: The end of a life and the beginning of something new. (suspense)
Middle: Father Diego smiles as he leaves the funeral. (intrigue)
Ending: Carlos is buried.
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38. EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
A hand punches through the freshly dug soil.
Beginning: The mound of freshly laid soil is silent. (intrigue)
Middle: Then the soil ripples from beneath. (suspense)
Ending: A hand reaches up from the soil. (reveal)
.
39. EXT. STREET – NIGHT
One year later, Day of the Dead celebrations ensue, but locals who believe light a black candle, so the Meat Wagon passes them by.
Beginning: The freshly polished Meat Wagon is heard blocks away
Middle: But only the true believers can hear her pass by on the night before Day of the Dead.
Ending: Behind the wheel is a resurrected Carlos
DAY OF THE DEAD
Traditions include gathering at cemeteries, creating ofrendas (altars), laying out marigold floral arrangements, making cavaleras (edible skulls made of sugar), eating a bread known as pan de muerto, and decorating with La Catrina, the recognizable image of a lithe skeleton, normally wearing a hat and a colorful dress.
(It’s tradition that the driver of the of the ‘Dark Lady’ is paid a toll for services rendered. The supernatural hearse has been roaming the roads for generations ferrying the souls of the damned.) Carlos’s penance is now to become the next Ferryman!
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Revised.
1.EXT – CEMETERY – DAY
Carlos cleans up after a funeral and says his final goodbye to his former MS 13 gangster, Hector.
Scene Arc: Carlos works for a funeral home and tragically buries his best friend, Hector.
Essence: Carlos is a survivor.
Conflict: Carlos is torn by the choices he’s made in his life.
Subtext: Down deep Carlos misses his friend.
Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos won’t backslide/we fear he will.
2.INT – HEARSE – DAY
Carlos talks to his wife Dani about how weird it is to bury his own friend.
3.EXT. HEARSE – DAY
A souped-up Japanese import watches Carlos from a distance and slowly starts to close the gap between the hearse and cemetery exit.
4.EXT- CEMETERY – DAY
Carlos is harassed by his former leader, Jude, who tempts Carlos with drugs and money.
Scene Arc: Carlos confronts his old gang and stands his ground.
Essence: Carlos is a bad ass.
Conflict: Between Jude and Carlos.
Subtext: Jude is trying to intimidate Carlos
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/we fear he won’t.
5.INT – FUNERAL HOME GARAGE – DAY
Dani tells Carlos that she is pregnant with their second child.
Scene Arc: Carlos goes from hungry man to a new papa.
Essence: Carlos nervous that he’ll be a good provider
Conflict: Carlos is conflicted about being a father.
Subtext: His father left him as a young boy.
Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will be a good father/we fear he’ll be like his father.
6.EXT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
Carlos puffs on a cigarette and pondering the news and calls Jude.
7.INT – MORTUARY – DAY
Carlos watches as Father Diego prep a body for burial while being propositioned to take over the funeral business.
Scene Arc: Carlos watches the old priest work as an undertaker and ponders his future.
Essence: Father Diego believes in Carlos,
Conflict: Carlos doesn’t know if he’s cut out to be a mortician.
Subtext: Father Diego is trying to create a future for Carlos that he doesn’t know he needs.
Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will take the priest’s offer/we fear he’ll backslide into his old life.
8.EXT. CARLOS HOUSE – NIGHT
Carlos meets Jude to arrange a short-term loan – he also gets drugs.
9.INT – GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos is depressed and takes the drugs given to him by Jude.
Scene Arc: Carlos goes from working with his hands to snorting drugs.
Essence: Dark night of the soul.
Conflict: Carlos is fighting his darker instincts.
Subtext: Carlos self-sabotages.
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos won’t OD/We fear that he will.
10.INT. – GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos hears a voice whispering his name — he follows the voice out back of the garage. A vintage hearse in need of repair.
11.INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos dreams that he’s in the Meat Wagon and makes a deal with the Saint of Death.
Scene Arc: On a drug trip, Carlos makes a deal.
Essence: Deal with the devil.
Conflict: Carlos’s faith v. evil
Subtext: Carlos is looking for an easy way out.
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos doesn’t give into temptation/He we fear that he will.
ACT II
12.INT – MORGUE – NIGHT
Father Diego performing a strange ritual on a body.
13.EXT – GARAGE – DAY
Carlos is brought back to consciousness by Father Diego who and he shows the old priest the HOBO Coin he found in the hearse.
Scene Arc: Carlos is brought back to the land of living, and he brings back with him an object of the dead.
Essence: Carlos has been to the other side.
Conflict: Reality v. hallucination
Subtext: There’s something unnatural at play.
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t
14.INT – FUNERAL HOME – DAY
The priest gives him the history of the Meat Wagon.
15.EXT – GROCERY STORE – DAY
Jude and the boys watch as Dani packs groceries into her SUV while trying to juggle Alejandro.
17.EXT – CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The gang shows up to Carlos and Dani’s house and burn it down.
Scene Arc: Jude follows attacks Carlos’s family at night –Carlos wields a machete and eviscerates several gangsters
Essence: Chaos
Conflict: Carlos v. the gang
Subtext: Survival of the fittest
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will defend his family/Afraid he’ll die
ACT III
18.EXT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos wakes up driving the hearse and hears from a demonic presence.
Scene Arc: Carlos wakes up driving the Meat Wagon and hears from its owner.
Essence: Horror
Conflict: Carlos v. Santa Muerte
Subtext: Carlos is not in control
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will escape/We fear he won’t
19.INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos calls Dani who weeps profusely and asks him why won’t leave her alone.
Scene Arc: Carlos contacts Dani and she reacts strangely to his call
Essence: Carlos is out of touch
Conflict: Carlos v himself
Subtext: Something major has changed and Carlos hasn’t clued in
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos and Dani marriage are ok/We fear they are not
20.EXT. – FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is.
Scene Arc: Jude is out for blood
Essence: Jude is a thug
Conflict: Jude v. the man of God
Subtext: This is personal for Jude
Hope/Fear: We hope that Fr, Diego won’t tell where Carlos is/We fear he will
21.EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
We see the dead people on the side of the highway.
22.INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries wrestle control of the Meat Wagon from Santa Muerte
23.EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude catches up with the Meat Wagon and sees no driver inside!
ACT IV
24.EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
The Meat Wagon is now in pursuit of Jude and the chase ends badly.
Scene Arc: The Meat Wagon pursues Jude – Jude ends up in the ditch
Essence: The hunter becomes the hunted
Conflict: Jude v something he can’t understand
Subtext: The Meat Wagon is protecting Carlos
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be
25.EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude is decapitated and his head is placed on the hood ornament of the hearse.
Scene Arc: The Meat Wagon pursues Jude – Jude ends up in the ditch
Essence: The hunter becomes the hunted
Conflict: Jude v something he can’t understand
Subtext: The Meat Wagon is protecting Carlos
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be
26. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos watches as the machete-wielding figure plants Jude’s head on the Meat Wagon’s hood ornament.
Scene Arc: Carlos watches as Jude is decapitated and his head is now the new hood ornament of the Meat Wagon.
Essence: Vengeance is a dish served cold.
Conflict: Carlos feels happy that Jude is dead
Subtext: Someone else is fighting for Carlos
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be
28. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos hears movement in the coffin behind him and he tries to escape.
Scene Arc: Carlos hears movement–but is trapped.
Essence: Your worst fears come to life
Conflict: Carlos v. The Meat Wagon
Subtext: There’s something supernatural at work
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will escape/ We fear he won’t
29. INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries the cops on his cell, no signal. Dani, no signal. Finally, he tries Father Diego. The old priest tells him it will all be over soon…
30. INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was HIS.
Scene Arc: We see through the eyes of a ghost – watching his own autopsy
Essence: Living death
Conflict: Carlos the ghost v. Carlos the corporeal
Subtext: Carlos is damned
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be saved/We fear he won’t be
31. INT. FUNERAL HOME _ NIGHT
FB: The old priest then removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative and we see hundreds of tattoos mounted and framed like trophies on the walls.
Scene Arc: Dead Carlos’s tattoo is removed by the old priest to be mounted.
Essence: Defilement
Conflict: Carlos’s ghost is watching his body be defiled
Subtext: Is the old priest a serial killer?
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos is hallucinating/ We fear he isn’t
32. INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos realizes he never recovered from the OD – he’s dead.
33.INT. MORGUE – NIGHT
FB: When Father Diego cleans up after the procedure, he changes his shirt, and we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest!
Scene Arc: Father Diego finishes preparing Carlos for the ritual – we find out that he’s dead, too.
Essence: Father Diego saves Carlos from Santa Muerte
Conflict: Father Diego the Shepard v. the Satanist
Subtext: Did the old priest betray Carlos?
Hope/Fear: We hope priest is force for good/We fear he isn’t
34.INT. COFFIN – NIGHT
Carlos is trapped in a coffin in the Meat Wagon and burns!
35. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
At Carlos’s funeral his coffin is lowered into the ground and Dani silently weeps.
36. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Father Diego gives a benediction and pours oil on the casket. The mourners drift away.
37. EXT. GRAVE – DAY
We see the coffin move oh so slightly…
38. EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
A hand punches through the freshly dug soil. Carlos is back.
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EXT – CEMETERY – DAY
Carlos cleans up after a funeral and says his final goodbye to his former MS 13 gangster, Hector.
Scene Arc: Carlos works for a funeral home and tragically buries his best friend Hector who was shot 14 times by the police.
Essence: Carlos is a survivor as he watches his gang die needlessly.
Conflict: Carlos is torn by the choices he’s made.
Subtext: Down deep Carlos misses his friends.
Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos won’t backslide/we fear he will.
EXT- CEMETERY – DAY
Carlos is confronted by Jude – his former leader and associates. They harass Carlos because he’s converted to Catholicism and is trying to go straight. Jude tries to entice him back by tempting Carlos with drugs (laced with fentanyl) and money.
Scene Arc: Carlos confronts his old gang and stands his ground.
Essence: Carlos is a bad ass but sticks to his guns.
Conflict: The conflict is between Jude and Carlos.
Subtext: Jude is trying to intimidate Carlos – he fails
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/we fear his family will be harmed.
INT – FUNERAL HOME GARAGE – DAY
Dani brings Carlos’s lunch and tells him that she is pregnant with their second child. Carlos worried about their finances.
Scene Arc: Carlos goes from hungry to a new papa.
Essence: Carlos is still nervous that he’ll be a good provider
Conflict: Carlos is conflicted about being a father a broke working stiff.
Subtext: His father left him as a young boy.
Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will be a good father/we fear he’ll be like his father.
INT – MORTUARY – DAY
Carlos watches as Father Diego, also the local undertaker preps a body. He offers Carlos an opportunity to train as a mortician’s assistant – maybe take over the business one day.
Scene Arc: Carlos watches the old priest work as an undertaker and ponders his future.
Essence: Father Diego believes in Carlos,
Conflict: Carlos doesn’t know if he’s cut out to be a mortician.
Subtext: Father Diego is trying to create a future for Carlos that he doesn’t know he needs.
Hope/Fear: We hope that Carlos will take the priest’s offer/we fear he’ll backslide.
INT – GARAGE – NIGHT
Carlos tinkers under the hood of the Meat Wagon – he’s depressed and takes the drugs given to him by Jude.
Scene Arc: Carlos goes from working with his hands to snorting drugs.
Essence: Dark night of the soul.
Conflict: Carlos is fighting his darker instincts.
Subtext: Carlos self-sabotages.
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos won’t OD/We see that he does
INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos trips and wakes up inside the old hearse. Santa Muerte’s voice emanates from the car and propositions him – his soul for her protection. He accepts the bargain.
Scene Arc: On a drug trip, Carlos makes a deal.
Essence: Deal with the devil.
Conflict: Carlos Catholic v. Santa Muerte
Subtext: Carlos is looking for an easy way out.
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos doesn’t give into temptation/He does
ACT II
INT – MORGUE – NIGHT
We see Father Diego performing a strange ritual on a body.
EXT – GARAGE – DAY
Carlos is brought back to consciousness by Father Diego who is pissed off at him for taking drugs. He shows the old priest the HOBO Coin.
Scene Arc: Carlos is brought back to the land of living, and he brings back with him an object of the dead.
Essence: Carlos has been to the other side.
Conflict: Reality v. hallucination
Subtext: Is Carlos nuts?
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be after the OD
INT – FUNERAL HOME – DAY
The priest gives him the history of the Meat Wagon.
EXT – GROCERY STORE – DAY
Jude and the boys watch as Dani packs groceries into her SUV while trying to juggle Alejandro.
EXT – CARLOS’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The gang shows up to Carlos and Dani’s house and burn it down. In the chaos, a figure wielding a machete murders several gang members. Dani and the baby escapes. Carlos is MIA
Scene Arc: Jude follows through on his threat and attacks Carlos’s family at night – in the smoke, someone with a machete attacks them and eviscerates several gangsters, by the end, Dani and baby Alejandro escape the carnage.
Essence: Chaos
Conflict: Carlos v. the gang
Subtext: Survival of the fittest
ACT III
EXT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos wakes up disoriented in the hearse, but he’s driving. He hears from the demonic presence of Santa Muerte.
Scene Arc: Carlos wakes up driving the Meat Wagon and here’s from its owner.
Essence: Horror
Conflict: Carlos v. Santa Muerte
Subtext: Carlos is not in control
INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries to call Dani on his cell phone. Dani weeps profusely and asks him why won’t leave her alone, the signal is lost.
Scene Arc: Carlos contacts Dani and she reacts strangely to his call
Essence: Carlos is out of touch
Conflict: Carlos v himself
Subtext: Something major has changed and Carlos hasn’t clued in
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos and Dani are ok/We fear they are not
EXT. – FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is from Father Diego. They beat the old man.
Scene Arc: Jude is out for blood – they beat up the old priest for information
Essence: Jude is a thug
Conflict: Jude v. the man of God
Subtext: This is personal for Jude
Hope/Fear: We hope that Fr, Diego won’t tell where Carlos is/We fear he will
EXT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
We see the dead who have ridden in the Meat Wagon Standing like silent sentinels along the highway.
INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries to mash the brakes of the hearse, but they don’t work for him. Santa Muerte has assumed control.
EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude catches up with the Meat Wagon and sees no driver inside!
ACT IV
EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
The Meat Wagon is now in pursuit of Jude – who sees a figure standing in the middle of the highway with a machete – he swerves to avoid it and rolls his souped-up Japanese import.
Scene Arc: The Meat Wagon pursues Jude – Jude ends up in the ditch
Essence: The hunter becomes the hunted
Conflict: Jude v something he can’t understand
Subtext: The Meat Wagon is an instrument of wrath
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be ok/Afraid he won’t be after the OD
EXT. – HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Jude crawls out of the smoldering wreckage of his car – a figure offscreen decapitates him and places his head on the hood ornament of the hearse.
INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Meanwhile, Carlos hears movement in the coffin behind him and tries to get out of the hearse, but the doors are locked!
Scene Arc: Carlos hears movement in the back of hearse – he tries to escape but is trapped.
Essence: Your worst fears come to life
Conflict: Carlos v. The Meat Wagon
Subtext: There’s something supernatural at work
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will escape/ We fear he won’t
INT – MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
Carlos tries the cops on his cell, no signal. Dani, no signal. Finally, he tries Father Diego. The old priest tells him it will all be over soon…
INT. FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT
Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was HIS. His ghost watches as Father Diego, a necromancer, places a HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image into his mouth.
Scene Arc: We see through the eyes of a ghost – watching his own autopsy
Essence: Living death
Conflict: Carlos the ghost v. Carlos the corporeal
Subtext: Carlos is damned
Hope/Fear: We hope Carlos will be saved/We fear he won’t be
INT. FUNERAL HOME _ NIGHT
The old priest then removes Carlos’s scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative. We pan around the morgue and notices hundreds of tattoos removed postmortem and mounted and framed like trophies on the walls.
INT. MEAT WAGON – NIGHT
By now the truth has dawned on Carlos…he’s dead and Santa Muerte has collected his soul. He screams but his lips are sewn shut! He never survived the OD…
The priest has betrayed him…but who’s in the coffin?!?
INT. MORGUE – NIGHT
FB: When Father Diego cleans up after the procedure, he removes the rubber gloves and apron he wears and then changes his shirt. In a mirror, we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest!
Scene Arc: Father Diego finishes preparing Carlos for the ritual – we find out that he’s dead.
Essence: Father Diego tries to save Carlos from Santa Muerte
Conflict: Father Diego the Shepard v. the Satanist
Subtext: Did the old priest betray Carlos?
Hope/Fear: We hope priest is force for good/We fear he isn’t
INT. COFFIN – NIGHT
Carlos burns alive (well, dead) in the coffin – he screams but no one can hear him – the whole Meat Wagon goes up in flames at it speeds down the Highway to Hell!
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
At Carlos’s funeral his coffin is lowered into the ground. Father Diego gives a benediction and pours oil on the casket. The mourners drift away. We see the coffin move oh so slightly…
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Peter’s Intriguing Moments
I write powerful horror movies that people remember long after they’ve left the theater.
WIL – all the intrigue is beneath the surface.
Title: Meat Wagon
Intriguing moments
ACT 1
Intrigue: Father Diego sees Carlos as the son he never had and wants him to take over the funeral business from him.
Unsolvable problem – Jude, the leader of the MS-13 gang, thinks Carlos ratted them out while he was in prison. But doesn’t believe Carlos that he got out on good behavior. Jude thinks he disrespected his gang has given the ‘green light’ for the gang to kill his wife and baby. So, they keep running. But Jude always finds them. The only way he can prevent his worst nightmare is by taking a lethal dose of tainted drugs and kill himself first. Carlos knows Jude will stand by his word and not touch his family if he commits suicide.
Secret – Carlos Ramirez used to be known as The Scorpion when he ran with MS-13. He got that nick name because he decapitated his victims with a poisoned, razor-sharp machete. He was feared in both the Texas and Mexican gangs for his ferocity. After serving time, he is released into the custody of Father Diego. Dani, his wife doesn’t know how violent he used to be. When she tells him that she’s pregnant with their second child, Carlos loses it. He doesn’t feel worthy of being a father or a husband. So, he hides it by pushing her away.
Covert Agenda: While praying for Carlos’s protection, Father Carlos says an arcane invocation in Latin over him and then crosses himself upside down!
Irony/Intrigue – Carlos pushes away the very people – Father Diego and Dani – who love him and are trying to help him and turns to the Saint of Death – Santa Muerte – in exchange for her protection over his family. Problem is he must give her his soul in the bargain.
ACT II
Mystery – Carlos apparently flatlines from the drug overdose. Yet Father Diego brings him back. Carlos sees a vision of a dead man standing in the middle of the road.
Conspiracy: Jude and the gang launch a preemptive attack on Carlos’s house and try to kill Dani and Alejandro while they are asleep. They burn the house down, but Carlos saves them and kills several of his former associates.
Secret: Carlos looks around the funeral home and sees a picture of the men next to different hearses dating back to the horse drawn funeral carriage days. Father Diego says his family has been in the “planting stiffs” business for generations.
Scheme/Hidden Identity: We watch as Father Diego, who is also the local undertaker prepares a body for burial, except we haven’t seen anything like the bizarre ritual he performs on the corpse. Who is Father Diego really? Whose body, is it?
ACT III
Mystery: Carlos wakes up again in the Meat Wagon. This time he doesn’t know if he’s hallucinating or really driving the beast. He hears Santa Muerte again. She’s in control. He wonders if he’s possessed.
Intrigue: Carlos sees the dead who have ridden in the Meat Wagon standing like silent sentinels along the side of the highway.
Secret: Even though he loves his wife, Carlos doesn’t tell Dani all the bizarre shit he’s experiencing. But when he calls her cell, she’s hysterical and asks why won’t he leave her alone? When he asks her what she means, the signal is lost.
ACT IV
Intrigue: Jude gives chase to the Meat Wagon driven by Carlos – but when he pulls up beside the vintage hearse, there’s no driver!
Covert Agenda: Father Diego is the only one who can get through on Carlos’s cell. The signal is weak, but we can hear him clearly. He relays what Carlos already knows: he’s dead and Santa Muerte is taking his soul to Hell just like the bargain he made. Fr. Diego says, “may God have mercy on your soul my son.”
Superior position: Carlos flashes back to reveal that the body on the morgue table was his. His ghost watches as Father Diego, a necromancer, as he places a HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image into his mouth and sews his lips shut to pay the price for sending his soul to Hell in the Meat Wagon. He then removes his scorpion tattoo and places it in preservative. We pan around the morgue and notices hundreds of tattoos removed postmortem and mounted and framed like trophies on the walls. When he cleans up, the old priest removes the rubber gloves and apron he wears and then changes his shirt. In a mirror, we see a POSTMORTEM SCAR on his chest!
Coverup: Though Carlos is dead and about to be interred, Fr. Diego raises him from the dead. Just as someone did for him over a century ago. A servant of Santa Muerte standing between the damned and the Gates of Hell.
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Peter’s Emotional Moments
I write powerful horror movies that make people want to see again and again.
WIL – without emotional attachment, no one cares
Title: Meat Wagon
Emotional Moments
Act 1
Wound: Carlos attends the funeral of his childhood friend, Hector. After the casket is lowered in the ground. He says goodbye and talks about growing up together in the gang. Then calls him a pendejo.
Emotional Dilemma: Carlos is confronted by his old gang after the Hector’s funeral. Jude accuses him of ratting them out while he was in prison. Carlos asks if that were the case, why wasn’t he in federal protection? Jude isn’t listening. He gives Carlos a choice: OD on a packet of meth or watch them kill his family.
Surprise: When Dani and Alejandro deliver empanadas for Carlos’s lunch, she tells him that she’s pregnant with their second.
Love: Carlos loves Dani very much for believing in him while he was in prison when know else would.
Excitement: Carlos and Dani share a moment of joy at the thought of welcoming a new daughter into the world.
Sacrifice: Carlos makes the tough decision to take the tainted meth to safe his family.
Moral issue: Carlos wrestles with the idea of make a deal with the devil.
Act 2
Surprise: Father Diego brings Carlos back from his bad drug trip. He’s lucky to still be alive.
Emotional Dilemma: Does Carlos tell making the deal with Santa Muerte? He thinks twice but tells him saw the Meat Wagon.
Bonding: Carlos looks to the old priest as the father he never had. Fr. Diego tells him that everything is going to be ok.
Surprise: Father Diego is shocked to find out that Carlos knows about the Meat Wagon.
Terror: Dani is attacked in her home that night by the gang. Hiding in the dark is Carlos armed with a poisoned machete. He kills several of his old gang. Jude escapes.
Act 3
Shock: Carlos is shocked when he wakes up inside of the Meat Wagon again– and this time she starts talking to him.
Sorrow: He tries to call Dani on her cell phone. Dani talks strangely. She’s weeping profusely when she tries to talk to him, the signal is lost. Her tone hurts Carlos.
Surprise: Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands to know where Carlos is.
Terror: Jude follows the meat wagon – when he overtakes it, he sees inside and there’s no one driving!
Act 4
Agony: Carlos burns alive (well, dead) in the coffin – he screams but no one can hear him.
Grief: Everyone attending Carlos’s funeral.
Love: Dani forgives Carlos for killing himself.
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Peter’s Reveals
VISION:
I’m a successful horror screenwriter who creates movies that are so disturbing they stay with you long after you leave the theater!
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS…?”
It ain’t over until the fat lady in coffin sings!
SETUPS AND REVEALS
ACT ONE: Setup: Carlos Ramirez once the feared El Escorpion – a gang enforcer for MS-13 who used a poisoned machete to dispatch his enemies – now drives a hearse and is struggling to pay the bills for his growing young family.
INCITING INCIDENT: REVEAL: Carlos knows that his old gang has targeted his wife and young son for termination because they think he ratted them out while in prison. He doesn’t have the luxury of a federal witness protection program. So, he either takes the lethal packet of meth given to him by his former associate, Jude, or his family is dead.
BEGINNING SETUP: Carlos is trying to go straight after serving years in prison. When his family is threatened by his old gang, he must make a choice to kill himself or wait until his old gang kills his family.
REVEAL: Carlos reveals to Father Diego, his mentor, that his old gang has found him again. Jude, their leader, thinks he ratted them out while he was in prison. Which isn’t true. But that doesn’t matter. Now he has no choice. He either ends his life by lethal meth or watch as they kill his family. Father Diego says he will pray for his family’s protection. Dani reveals she’s pregnant with their second child. This causes Carlos to spiral. He knows his meager wages can’t support them as it is.
SETUP: Carlos, in a fit of despair takes the meth. He has a seizure and passes out on the garage floor while fixing a hearse. Whether in a hallucination or nightmare he hears a voice calling his name. Out back in a shed he finds a vintage hearse under a tarp. The 1930s hearse is possessed by a demonic entity, Santa Muerte. Carlos makes a pact with the Saint of Death to protect his family in exchange for soul. He finds a HOBO COIN with a strange engraving on it.
REVEAL: Carlos is brought to by Father Diego. He thinks his deal with the devil was all a hallucination. He doesn’t say anything to the old priest, but he mentions the Meat Wagon. Father Diego says that the old hearse is cursed. Used to be used by the mob and later the Cartel to drive the evilest souls to their final resting place. He was warns Carlos to say away from the shed.
SETUP Jude and the boys attack Dani that night. Carlos (we can’t tell for sure) steps out of the darkness and slaughters several of the gang with a poisoned machete. Jude swears revenge and escapes.
ACT 3:
REVEAL: Carlos awakens at night in the Meat Wagon. This time there’s a coffin in the back. A demonic voice commands that he drive the body to a predetermined destination before dawn to fulfill his part of the deal. He wasn’t hallucinating. Or was he? The voice tells him not to look in the rear-view mirror.
SETUP: Father Diego is in the mortuary preparing a body for burial. We can’t see who. He shaves the head and tattoos something on the skull of the corpse. Then he places something into the mouth of the cadaver and sews the lips shut all while chanting something in Latin.
SETUP: Carlos calls Dani on his cell phone. She’s crying hysterically and asks what does he want? She says something about death… Her signal is choppy. He can’t make out what she’s trying to tell him. Her call is cut.
REVEAL: Jude shows up at the funeral home and demands that Father Diego tell him where he can find Carlos?
SETUP: Carlos sees dead people on dark desert highway. Former occupants of the Meat Wagon. The demonic voice reveals they are on the Highway to Hell from which there is no escape. Carlos tries to stop the hearse, but the brakes don’t work. He can’t control the steering. He demands to see who’s in the coffin! The hearse continues. Carlos is no longer in control.
SETUP: Jude tail gates the old hearse in his rice rocket. He overtakes the Meat Wagon pulls out a gun and fires at Carlos.
ACT 4:
REVEAL: Jude speeds up and is now side by side with the Meat Wagon. But no one is in the driver’s seat! Jude freaks and guns his engine. But the Meat Wagon is now the pursing Jude. Jude can’t outrun the Meat Wagon. He sees something on the road in front of him. A figure, bald with tattoos on its face and an autopsy scar. Holding a machete. Jude steers to avoid it and hits the ditch, rolls and his car explodes.
REVEAL FB: we watch as the old priest prepares a body for burial. To our horror, it’s Carlos’s body! We watch as his hair is shaved off and the old priest tattoos an upside down cross on his forehead, and finally, places the HOBO COIN with Santa Muerte’s image on it into the mouth of his own corpse and sews the lips shut. The priest pays the toll for the transference of Carlos’s soul to the underworld.
SETUP: Carlos’s body is in the coffin now. He struggles to get out and screams, but his lips are sewn shut.
REVEAL: The coffin in the back of the hearse is fully engulfed in flames now. The Meat Wagon continues to drive down the Highway to Hell, now aflame like a demonic chariot. Later, there’s a funeral at which Father Diego presides he reads, John 11:24: “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live”
As the coffin is lowered into the ground, we see Dani and Alejandro in attendance and the priest smiles…
SETUP: There’s a knocking coming from within the coffin.
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Peter’s Amended Beat Sheet #2 with Character Action Tracks
WIL: It’s never too late unless you give up!
MY VISION: I am a prolific screenwriter who makes horror movies!
Genre: Horror
Title: Meat Wagon
Act 1: The Temptation of El Escorpion.
Carlos works as a hearse driver for a local funeral home. While at a funeral we find out that the man being buried was Carlos’s former MS-13 gangster, Hector, who was shot 14 times by the police in a drug sting. Post funeral, his old posse confronts Carlos. Jude their leader says he’s disrespecting the gang by trying to go straight. Get married and have kids. He gives Carlos a packet of meth as a going away gift. Carlos knows his young family is in danger. He confides in an old priest who is also the local undertaker.
PJ 1: Carlos is taking care of his family, but he’s scared he’ll fall back into the thug life.
Triangle J 1: Father Carlos is also a former gangster understands the kind of pressure he’s under to stay on the straight and narrow. He prays for Carlos’s protection from the enemy.
AJ 1: Jude gives Carlos some meth to tempt him – threatening his family.
Inciting Incident: Carlos finds out that his wife is pregnant with their second child and freaks. That night while working late at the funeral home gives into temptation and takes the meth. He blacks out.
Deeper Layer: Carlos knows down deep that he cannot outrun his old gang any longer. He takes the drugs because he can’t deal with the pressure. He trips and blacks out.
PJ 2: Carlos takes the drugs, not caring what happens to his family. He really loathes himself at this point.
Turning Point 1: Carlos awakens on the garage floor. He hears a voice and follows it out to an old shed and under a tarp he finds the old beat-up hearse. He finds an old HOBO coin with Santa Muerte’s image engraved on it. He vows to serve the Saint of Death if she protects his family. He blacks out.
ACT 2: The Death of El Escorpion
PJ 3: Carlos awakens on the cold garage floor after being brought to by the priest.
Triangle J 2: Priest is angry at Carlos for taking the drugs – says he must think about his wife and kids!
PJ 4: Carlos has made a deal with the devil. But he doesn’t tell the old priest. He feels like he’s still tripping because of the drugs.
AJ2: Jude and the boys harass Dani at the grocery store.
PJ 5: Carlos loses his shit on his old gang, and he kills one of them with a poisoned machete.
AJ 3:Jude blames Carlos for how it all came down.
Triangle J3: The old priest prepares the body for burial. We don’t see who it is but assume it’s the one Carlos killed. He performs a strange ritual sews the HOBO coin inside the mouth of the corpse.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Carlos awakens inside the Meat Wagon with a coffin. He hears the voice of Santa Muerte who forces him to drive the coffin to an undisclosed location before dawn. She tells him that he must do this to fulfill his part of the bargain. He tries to find out from the entity who’s body is the coffin. But that’s forbidden knowledge.
PJ 6: Carlos sees dead people along the road as he drives. The damned souls once in the back of the Meat Wagon. They are yelling at him as he drives by. But he can’t hear their tormented warnings.
He tries to stop the car, but it won’t let him.
PJ 7: Carlos calls Dani on his cell. Her signal is weak and she’s crying. Asking him why he left them? Call is cut.
Deeper Layer: Betrayal.
Act 3: The Judgement of El Escorpion
PJ 8: Carlos regrets his deal with Santa Muerte. He tries to bargain with her. But it’s useless.
AJ 5: Carlos calls Jude. He warns him about going near his family again. Jude laughs at him! He’s there with her now!
Triangle J 4: The Old Priest is the only one who gets through on Carlos’s phone. He tells him that he is praying for his very soul. But he can’t stop what’s about to happen. The call is cut.
PJ9: Carlos sees a dead person who looks just like him standing in the middle of the road.
Turning Point 3: Carlos crashes the Meat Wagon. He blacks out. When he wakes up, he’s still driving on the highway.
Triangle J 5: The old priest tells Carlos tells him that there’s nothing he can do for him.
ACT 4: El Escorpion Descends into Hell
PJ 10: FB: We see the old priest preparing the body. It’s Carlos! He shaves his head and tattoos a symbol on the forehead. He places the HOBO coin in the mouth of the cadaver. Carlos’s ghost is watching his own autopsy!
Deeper Layer: Carlos is damned.
PJ 11: Act 4 Climax: Carlos body burns in the coffin. He tries to scream, but his lips are sewn shut. Yet all we can see is the coffin shaking as the hearse drives itself down the Highway to Hell!
Triangle J6: Father Diego performs a funeral for Carlos.
AJ 6: Jude comforts Dani as Carlos’s is laid to rest.
Resolution: As the coffin is lowered into the ground, we see Jude standing beside Dani who is holding little Alejandro in her arms. We know now that Jude is the guy who was saved, It was him we saw at the beginning of the movie. Carlos was always a thug. Always a killer. Always El Escorpion!
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Peter’s New Outline Beats
WIL – by going back through the outline, backwards and forwards and focusing on pivotal moments in the plot I was able to elevate the horror. There’s a lot of leaps in logic that you have account for!
MY VISION: I am going to write incredible screenplay and streaming content for the horror genre.
MEAT WAGON
High Concept: When a reformed gangster takes a night job driving a hearse – he discovers that the car is haunted, and the body is the back is his.
GENRE: Horror
ACT 1: The temptation of El Escorpión
Carlos PJ 1: Texas/Mexico border. Carlos’ hearse is pulled over by a racist state trooper. Carlos is hassled because of his criminal record.
He gets off but is secretly smuggling illegals in a coffin. He’s part of an operation ran by Father Diego to reunite families who have been separated by ICE.
Back at the funeral home, Carlos is working on restoring a vintage hearse. Carlos has a special relationship with what he calls THE MEAT WAGON. He rebuilt her engine. He restored her body. In fact, he hears voices coming from her
Father Diego tells him that the hearse has hauled the bodies of many evil men to meet their maker. It’s a local legend.
Carlos PJ 2: Carlos gives his confession to Father Diego about trying to change his nature. He responds by saying that Christ is the only one who can change our sinful nature.
Jude AJ 1: Carlos’ old gang watches him. Jude offers to let him back in the gang despite his betrayal. He offers drugs and money.
Deeper Layer: Jude wants to break Carlos. He’s jealous that he has a new family.
Jude AJ 2: Jude says he’s willing to forgive Carlos for leaving the thug life.
INCITING INCIDENT: Carlos refuses to rejoin the gang. Dani tells him she’s pregnant!
Carlos PJ 3: Carlos doesn’t tell Dani about seeing his old gang. She always worries that he will backslide. His job doesn’t pay enough. She’s pregnant again!
Deeper Layer: Carlos is afraid that deep down he’ll fail as a husband and father. Just like his father before him.
Carlos PJ 4: Behind on bills, Carlos accepts a short-term loan from his former gang.
Jude AJ 3: Jude knows Carlos can’t pay back the loan on time. So, he applies pressure until the tension reaches a breaking point. Carlos gets beat up, but he turns the other check.
TURNING POINT 1: Dani is killed in a drive by shooting.
ACT 2: The Death of El Escorpión
Carlos PJ 5: Carlos, consumed by grief, turns to the Saint of Death (Santa Muerte) to protect him for what he must do next.
He burns down his old gang’s hang out and kills several members with a poisoned machete.
Jude AJ 4: Jude escapes the carnage. He shoots Carlos, wounding him. Cops arrive.
Carlos dies of his wounds! But he doesn’t know it.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Carlos doesn’t know he’s dead. (Yes, just like the Sixth Sense.)
Carlos PJ 6: Carlos returns to the funeral home. He watches from the shadows as the old priest take delivery of bodies from the coroner’s office.
Father Diego performs a strange ritual on a body. He places a coin in the mouth of the corpse’s lips shut. He recites an incantation.
Jude AJ 5.: Jude shows up looking for Carlos. He beats up the old priest looking for information.
Carlos tries to interfere but can’t for some reason.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Carlos highjacks the MEAT WAGON!
(UNKNOWN TO US, Carlos’ ghost possesses the hearse, but we think he’s driving.)
ACT III – The Resurrection of El Escorpión
Jude AJ 6: Jude makes tracks down the Texas highway.
It’s night of Day of the Dead and he’s headed for the Mexico line.
Carlos drives like El Diablo, the new engine pistons down the highway and catches up with Jude.
Carlos PJ 7: Carlos notices that there’s a coffin in the back.
He sees dead people along the darkened highway.
All are victims he killed. He thinks he’s hallucinating. He’s being judged!
Jude AJ 7: Jude’s cell phone rings. It’s Carlos from beyond the grave. The cell phone reception is sketchy. He tells Jude that’s he’s coming for him.
ACT 4 – The Ascension of El Escorpión
Carlos PJ 8: Carlos closes the distance between the hearse and Jude’s rice rocket. The big V8 has no problem overtaking the import.
Jude AJ 8: Jude fires his gun at the hearse. When the Meat Wagon pulls beside Jude – there’s NO DRIVER!
Jude freaks out…
Jude AJ 9: Carlos sees an apparition standing on the highway in front of him.
A man holding a machete dripping with human blood!
Jude swerves to avoid it and rolls his car.
The Meat Wagon comes to a screeching halt.
Deeper Layer: Carlos wakes up dead.
Carlos PJ 9: Carlos wakes up in the coffin. He tries to scream, but his lips are sewn shut!
He kicks his way out of the casket. The priest placed his machete in the coffin.
On the highway he rips the sutures off his lips and vomits up embalming fluid and hobo coin placed there by the priest. He’s covered in fresh new tattoos. His hair is shaved off. He’s unrecognizable to us.
He opens his shirt and touches the autopsy scar on his chest and screams!
Jude AJ 10: Jude is badly injured and trapped in the mangled wreckage of his car. He screams for help.
Carlos PJ 10: Carlos decapitates Jude and places his head as a hood ornament on the vintage hearse.
Carlos AJ 11: Carlos returns to the funeral home. Father Diego is expecting him.
The walls of the autopsy room walls are lined with skinned tattoos removed from all the evil men the old priest prepared for the final ride in the Meat Wagon.
They are his trophies.
The old priest takes off his clerical collar and opens his shirt also revealing an autopsy scar!
Once he was like Carlos on the highway to Hell. Until someone intervened to God on his behalf and saved his soul from damnation. It was his own penance to drive the Meat Wagon. Now his time is over. He’s paid the price for his own sins. Now it’s Carlos’ turn.
Carlos PJ 12: Carlos nods in understanding.
Resolution: Carlos drives the Meat Wagon down a residential street after midnight on Halloween. A statue of Santa Muerte dangles from his mirror and in every window burns a black candle in hopes the hearse passes them by.
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Peter’s Beat Sheet draft 1
WIL – It’s ok not to have the answers. Everything is going to change.
MY VISION: I am a prolific screenwriter who makes horror movies!
MEAT WAGON
High Concept: When reformed gangster takes a night job driving a hearse–he discovers the car is haunted, and the body is the back is his.
GENRE: Horror
ACT 1: The temptation of El Escorpión
Carlos PJ 1: Texas/Mexico border. A racist state trooper pulls Carlos’ hearse over. Carlos is hassled because of his criminal record. He gets off but is secretly smuggling illegals in a coffin.
Carlos PJ 2: Carlos gives his confession to Father Diego about trying to change his nature. He responds by saying that Christ is the only one who can change our sinful nature.
Jude AJ 1: Carlos’ old gang watches him. Jude offers to let him back in the gang despite his betrayal. He offers drugs and money.
Deeper Layer: Jude wants to break Carlos. He’s jealous that he has a new family.
Jude AJ 2: Jude says he’s willing to forgive Carlos for leaving the thug life.
INCITING INCIDENT: Carlos refuses to rejoin the gang. Dani tells him she’s pregnant!
Carlos PJ 3: Carlos doesn’t tell Dani about seeing his old gang. She always worries that he will backslide. His job doesn’t pay enough. She’s pregnant again!
Deeper Layer: Carlos is afraid that deep down he’ll fail as a husband and father. Just like his father before him.
Carlos PJ 4: Behind on bills, Carlos accepts a short-term loan from his former gang.
Jude AJ 3: Jude knows Carlos can’t pay back the loan on time. So, he applies pressure until the tension reaches a breaking point. Carlos takes a beating.
TURNING POINT 1: Dani is killed in a drive by shooting.
ACT 2: The Death of El Escorpión
Carlos PJ 5: Carlos, consumed by grief, turns to the Saint of Death (Santa Muerte) to protect him for what he must do next. He burns down his old gang’s hang out and kills several members with a poisoned machete.
Jude AJ 4: Jude escapes the carnage. He shoots Carlos, wounding him. Cops arrive. Carlos makes his escape.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Carlos doesn’t know he’s dying.
Carlos PJ 6: Carlos returns to the funeral home and the old priest hides him. He watches the old priest take delivery of bodies from the coroner’s office.
Jude AJ 5.: Jude and what’s left of the gang shows up looking for Carlos. They beat up the old priest looking for information. Carlos tries to interfere but passes out.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Carlos passes away but doesn’t know it. Father Diego performs a strange ritual on one of the bodies. He places a hobo coin in the mouth of the corpse’s lips shut.
Carlos PJ 6: Carlos highjacks the hearse and goes after Jude.
ACT III – The Resurrection of El Escorpión
Jude AJ 6: Jude makes tracks down the Texas highway.
It’s night of Day of the Dead and he’s headed for the Mexico line.
Carlos PJ 7: Carlos drives the vintage hearse. He notices that there’s a coffin in the back. He sees dead people. All are victims he killed. He thinks he’s hallucinating. Carlos hears other voices coming from the Meat Wagon.
Jude AJ 7: Jude’s cell phone rings. It’s Carlos. The cell phone reception is sketchy. He tells Jude that’s he’s coming for him.
ACT 4 – The Ascension of El Escorpión
Carlos PJ 8: Carlos closes the distance between the hearse and Jude’s rice rocket. The big V8 has no problem overtaking the import.
Jude AJ 8: Jude fires his gun at the hearse. When the Meat Wagon pulls beside Jude – there’s no driver! Jude freaks out…
The Meat Wagon runs Jude off the road. Jude’s car rolls and explodes.
The Meat Wagon comes to a screeching halt.
Deeper Layer: Carlos wakes up dead.
Carlos PJ 9: Carlos wakes up in the coffin. He tries to scream, but his lips are sewn shut. He kicks his way out of the casket. On the highway he rips the sutures off his lips and vomits up embalming fluid and hobo coin placed there by the priest.
He opens his shirt and touches the autopsy scar on his chest!
Carlos PJ 10: Carlos returns to the funeral home. Father Diego is expecting him.
The walls of the autopsy room walls are lined with skinned tattoos removed from all the evil men the old priest prepared for the final ride in the Meat Wagon.
The old priest takes off his clerical collar and opens his shirt also revealing an autopsy scar!
Once he was like Carlos on the highway to Hell. Until someone intervened to God on his behalf and saved his soul from damnation. It was his own penance to drive the Meat Wagon. Not his time is over.
Carlos PJ 11: Carlos nods and takes his machete and beheads the priest. He places the old priest’s head on the hood ornament of the hearse.
Resolution: Carlos drives the Meat Wagon down a residential street after midnight on Halloween. In every window burns a black candle in hopes the hearse passes them by.
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Peter’s Deeper Layer
Vision: I am a prolific horror screenwriter that gets movies produced, mentors beginning screenwriters and lives the kind of life I can only dream.
WIL: It’s a game changer to see the beneath the surface stuff influence and ulitimately determine the choices made by your main character.
MEAT WAGON
• Surface Layer: Carlos is trying to walk the straight and narrow after a life of crime.
• Deeper Layer: Carlos’ is already damned, and he doesn’t know it.
• Major Reveal: He discovers it’s his body in the hearse.
• Influences Surface Story: Father Diego senses that dark forces are calling to Carlos even before he’s killed. The old priest uses necromancy to raise Carlos from the dead. Carlos is cursed to replace the old priest as the driver of the Meat Wagon.
• Hints: After the killing of his wife by his old gang, Carlos invokes the protection of Santa Muerte – the Saint of Death. Carlos is shot and killed, yet he rises after the old priest calls in his soul. Carlos thinks he’s hiding out from the cops, yet the only one who can sense him is Father Diego. Carlos sees the ghosts of his victims.
• Changes Reality: When Carlos realizes that the old priest raises him from the dead using dark magic, we realize that he’s been a pawn of Father Diego from the beginning. We know he’s cursed to drive the Meat Wagon until he’s paid his penance.
• Beginning: Carlos tries to be a good husband and father. But the only work he can get is driving a hearse and the cops hassle him because of his criminal record.
• Inciting Incident: His old gang tempts him to return to the thug life. Carlos hears dark voices coming from the vintage hearse.
• Turning Point 1: When Dani is killed, Carlos gives himself over to Santa Muerte once again. He becomes obsessed with the Meat Wagon.
• Act 2: Carlos attacks his old gang with a machete but is fatally wounded.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Hiding out in the funeral home, he sees the old priest perform a ritual on a body. He doesn’t know it’s his body. He escapes town in the Meat Wagon.
• Act 3: Carlos sees his dead people on the highway at night. His victims.
• Turning Point 3: Carlos hunts down Jude and kills him.
• Act 4 Climax: Raised from the dead, Carlos is cursed to replace the old priest as the ferryman of the damned.
• Resolution: Carlos drives the Meat Wagon into the night in search of the damned.
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Geezer Pete’s Character Structure
MY VISION: I am going to write incredible screenplays and streaming content for the horror genre.
What I learned doing this assignment is just like life. We sometimes walk into the middle of another’s life story.
Carlos (Protagonist)
• Beginning: Carlos drives a vintage hearse for a local priest and undertaker.
• Inciting Incident: He refuses when his gang asks him to return to the thug life.
• Turning Point 1: Carlos’s wife Dani is killed in a drive by shooting at his son’s baptism.
• Act 2: Carlos kills some of his old gang with a poisoned machete – but is fatally wounded and dies but doesn’t know it.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Carlos hides out from the police in the funeral home – but it’s his ghost haunting it. He witnesses the old priest performing a ritual on a body.
• Act 3: Carlos steals the Meat Wagon to finish his gang, not realizing it’s his body in the back of the hearse!
• Turning Point 3: Carlos hunts down Jude and crashes the hearse into him.
• Act 4 Climax: Carlos awakens in the coffin–rises from the dead thanks to the ritual the priest performed on his body. Takes out Jude.
• Resolution: Carlos assumes the old priest’s role as servant to Santa Muerte
Jude (Antagonist)
• Beginning: Jude inducted Carlos into MS 13 when he was a kid. Carlos was his right-hand enforcer and killed on command. Carlos rose in infamy as The Scorpion with the Texas/Mexico drug cartels.
• Inciting Incident: Carlos is arrested after a joint CIA/Federales sting. Sent to jail and finds God. Jude tries to get him back in the thug life.
• Turning Point 1: Jude orders Carlos family killed at his son’s baptism.
• Act 2: After Carlos, kills his gang Jude shoots and kills Carlos.
• Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Jude doesn’t know if Carlos is dead, so he sets out to make sure the job is finished.
• Act 3: the vintage hearse chases Jude with no driver! He doesn’t see Carlos because he’s a ghost.
• Turning Point 3: Jude is run off the road.
• Act 4 Climax: Carlos awakens in the coffin–rises from the dead thanks to the ritual the priest performed on his body. Takes out Jude.
• Resolution: Carlos assumes the old priest’s role as servant to Santa Muerte
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Peter’s Supporting Characters
MY VISION: I am going to write incredible screenplay and streaming content for the horror genre.
What I learned doing this assignment supporting characters shed light on aspects of the main characters that they don’t reveal otherwise.
Support 1:
• Name: Dani
• Role: Wife
• Main purpose: To show Carlos that he’s a good man
• Value: Her relationship to Carlos raises the stakes in his world; she is his hope and light – when that light is snuffed out, he returns to his world of darkness.
Support 2:
• Name: Ángel
• Role: Gang member
• Main purpose: Forces Jude’s hand
• Value: He forces Jude to live up to his role as gang leader and carry out on his promise to kill Carlos and his family. He’s also competition to Carlos.
Support 3:
• Name: Sykes
• Role: State trooper
• Main purpose: To shed light on how badass Carlos really is
• Value: He’s a racist asshole who shows us that Carlos really is a changed man when he’s arrested for smuggling drugs in his hearse.
Background 1 – Gangster
Background 2 – Gangster
Background 3 – Gangster
Background 4 – Old woman parishioner
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Peter’s character profiles part 2
I will be a rich ass screenwriter who can hustle with the best of them…
What I learned doing this lesson is its ok to rest but not to quit.
MEAT WAGON
High Concept: A reformed gangster takes a night job driving a hearse – a tough job by any measure—made supernaturally challenging because the body is the back is his.
Carlos’ journey: He tries to leave his past behind him once he embraces Catholicism and marries Dani and they have a child. But his old gang life comes calling when his former associate, Jude, demands revenge. Dani is killed in a shooting and Carlos embraces the darkness of the past calling on the power of Santa Muerte for revenge. But Carlos doesn’t survive his encounter with Jude and the gang. Destined for Hell, Carlos’s soul is saved by Father Diego who has other plans for him.
His actor attractors. Likeability – Carlos risks going back to jail by smuggling illegals in the back of his hearse. Relatability – Carlos is afraid that he won’t be a good dad. Empathy – In a confession to Father Diego, he confesses that he is tempted by the thug life – the money and the power. He was someone. Now he drives a hearse.
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
Hispanic in a lead role, goes from tortured to redeemed. He owns his past and wants to do the right thing. But deep down he wonders if he will always be ‘The Scorpion’ – a killer who enjoys what he does. Damned to Hell, his soul is saved by a priest who has other plans for him.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Despite overwhelming odds, Carlos has always survived. When his one chance to lead a normal life is taken from him, he calls out to the darkness for help. A desperate act by a desperate man. Even in death, he survives.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He tries to protect his family. When his wife is killed, he seeks revenge. When he’s resurrected, he becomes the driver of the Meat Wagon as penance for his sins.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Carlos risks his freedom by smuggling illegals into the U.S. in the back of hearse to reunite a family.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range
Carlos has a hair trigger temper. But he’s also a sweet towards his baby boy and his wife.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Carlos does his best to blend into his new life. Down deep he’s always afraid that he will snap. Like a bomb waiting to go off. He plays the role of new convert to hide his fear of his true nature.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Father Diego is a mentor and friend whom he shares everything. Jude is his former associate in MS 13 that he has known since he was a teenager. Dani is the love of his life. When she’s killed, he loses a part of his soul.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Carlos is a former MS 13 gang enforcer. He’s served hard time. But he’s also discovered a new life and faith. When that’s all taken, he goes John Wick.
9. What could make this character special and unique?
Carlos has a unique perspective on life – he sees it as a killer and as a recovering saint.
Character Profile Elements:
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist – Trouble always seems to find Carlos. Recruited at the age of 12 into MS 13, he quickly rose through the ranks for his predilection for violence and mayhem. Upon young manhood he became known as ‘The Scorpion’ because he wielded a razor-sharp machete dipped in poison. He killed women and children upon the command of his leader, Jude.
2. Age Range and Description: Carlos is a Hispanic man in his late 20s, covered in tattoos which he now covers with a long-sleeved white shirt. He’s muscular and likes to keep himself clean shaven.
3. Core Traits:
-Fiery temper
-Loyal
-Meticulous
-Sense of justice
-Sadistic
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
Want: to leave his past behind him
Need: to sabotage any chance at a normal life
5. Wound:
What they can’t face: that he comes from a long line of trash – just like his father
Father Diego – Triangle Character
Father Diego’s character journey – All we really know is that the priest was once an outlaw like Carlos. He’s been the local priest and undertaker for as long as anyone can remember around these parts. Fact is, nobody really remembers how long he’s been at the parish. The locals have simply forgotten his history. Diego is a secretive man who goes about his acts of kindness in private. By the end, we realize he’s acting as an agent for Santa Muerte and his penance is up!
His actor attractors – Likeability – The old priest works behind the scenes to reunite families that have been separated by ICE. Relatability: Father Diego looks after Carlos like his own son. Empathy – we feel bac for him when he can’t stop the death of Carlos’s wife.
1) What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
A major supporting role for a Latinx actor of advanced age. This role would require a veteran actor who is able to bring subtext and gravitas.
2) What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
Father Diego is a bad ass underneath his kind demeanor. He too was once an outlaw and has done many horrible things until becoming a man of the cloth. He also carries a dark secret that will soon consume Carlos.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
He smuggles illegals in the back of the hearse and embarrasses the highway patrol. Defends Carlos from the police. Saves Carlos from going to Hell.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
Priest gets into an argument with racist Highway patrolman and is bailed out by a parishioner.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range
Father Diego can be cranky, loving, and fearsome if he’s pushed too far.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Father Diego has been playing the role of Shepard of his flock for decades. What his parishioners don’t realize is that he’s dead.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
Diego serves a demonic entity. He’s Carlos’s mentor.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
Father Diego will speak the pulpit but also bring to the street.
9. What could make this character special and unique?
Father Diego has ferried the souls of the damned to Hell in the Meat Wagon. His time is up and needs a replacement.
Character Profile Elements:
1. Role in the Story: Triangle– Father Diego is a pillar in the community. But he uses his position as spiritual leader to serve the power of darkenss.
2. Age Range and Description: Carlos is a Hispanic man in his late 20s, covered in tattoos which he now covers with a long-sleeved white shirt. He’s muscular and likes to keep himself clean shaven.
3. Core Traits:
-Stubborn
4. Motivation; Want/Need:
Want: To lead his flock
Need: Needs to pay the penance to the Saint of Death for his sins
5. Wound:
What they can’t face: that he is simply passing curse on to Carlos
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Peter’s Character Profiles Part I
MY VISION: I am going to write incredible screenplay and streaming content for the horror genre.
What I learned doing this assignment is that characters will hide secrets even from their creators – when they reveal those secrets you have new insight into who they really are.
MODULE 3 LESSON 6
Aaron’s Character Profiles Part 1.
MY VISION: I am going to work harder than anyone to be an incredible writer who the industry seeks for projects that have consistent commercial success.
What I learned doing this lesson is that the worlds of my main characters are critically intertwined and since their worlds are so far apart, the story that brings them together will delivery on high drama and will nail my concept.
Carlos
1. Role in the Story: Protagonist
2. Age range and Description: 20s, Latinx,
3. Core Traits: Temper, Haunted, Loyal
4. Motivation; Want/Need: To kill Jude/To save his soul
5. Wound: Guilt for sins of the past.
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability:
• Carlos risks going to jail by smuggling illegals in the back of the hearse.
Relatability:
• Carlos is afraid that he won’t be a good dad.
Empathy:
• In his confession to Father Diego, Carlos confesses that he is sometimes tempted by his old way of life. The money, the power. He was someone in his gang. Now he drives a hearse.
Jude
1. Role in the Story: Antagonist
2. Age range and Description: 20s, Latinx,
3. Core Traits: Deceptive, Leader, Fearsome
4. Motivation; Want/Need: To kill Carlos/To prove his str
5. Wound: Abandonment
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Likability:
• Jude is actually a good leader. He cares about his gang members. And he has a good sense of humor.
Relatability:
• He feels betrayed by Carlos – he’s hurt by his rejection.
Empathy:
• Jude feels as if he’s lost a brother.
Father Diego
1. Role in the Story: Triangle
2. Age range and Description: 70s, Latinx,
3. Core Traits: Wise, Diplomatic, Secretive
4. Motivation; Want/Need: To protect Carlos/End his penance
5. Wound: Weary from carrying a heavy loac
6. Likability, Relatability, Empathy:
Father Diego (triangle character)
Likability:
• The old priest is kind and invests in people. He reunites families who have been separated by ICE.
Relatability:
• Father Diego looks after Carlos and defends him. He too was once a gang banger.
Empathy:
• We feel bad for him when he couldn’t stop the death of Carlos wife
. He blames himself.
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Peter’s Likeability/Relability/Empathy
My vision is to be a screenwriter recognized for my genre horror thrillers.
What I learned doing this assignment is that every character has a dark and light side.
Carlos (protagonist)
Likability:
• Carlos risks going to jail by smuggling illegals in the back of the hearse.
Relatability:
• Carlos is afraid that he won’t be a good dad. Dani reassures him that he’s a good man.
Empathy:
• In his confession to Father Diego, Carlos confesses that he is sometimes tempted by his old way of life. The money, the power. He was someone in his gang. Now he drives a hearse.
• Just to get the experience, give us one or more ways that your Antagonist could be presented through each of these
Father Diego (triangle character)
Likability:
• The old priest is kind and invests in people. He reunites families who have been separated by ICE.
Relatability:
• Father Diego looks after Carlos and defends him. He too was once a gang banger.
Empathy:
• We feel bad for him when he couldn’t stop the death of Carlos wife. He blames himself.
Jude (antagonist)
Likability:
• Jude is actually a good leader. He cares about his gang members. And he has a good sense of humor.
Relatability:
• He feels betrayed by Carlos – he’s hurt by his rejection.
Empathy:
• Jude feels as if he’s lost a brother.
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Peter’s Character Intrigue
My vision: I will become a prolific screenwriter and producer of movies and streaming content living in Canada and the US
What I learned doing this lesson is how much your characters hide themselves from you.
Title: Meat Wagon
Character Name: Carlos ‘The Scorpion’ Rameriz
Role: Protagonist
Hidden agendas: Killer of women and children; former Satanist
Competition: Jude
Conspiracies: Conspires with Santa Muerte to kill his gang in exchange for his soul
Secrets: Carlos killed his own wife’s sister; has also slaughtered children for his gang
Deception: Misleads his wife and the old priest that he’s not backsliding to the thug life
Unspoken Wound: Abusive absentee father; the sins of his past
Secret Identity: Feels more at home as The Scorpion; a gangland hitman than he does as a husband and father
Character Name: Jude
Role: Antagonist
Hidden agendas: Revenge against Carlos for turning against his old gang.
Competition: Will take everything away from Carlos because he has found happiness outside MS13
Conspiracies: Plots to kill Carlos’ family and friends
Secrets: Knows that Carlos killed Dani’s sister on his order.
Deception: Plays up his old loyalties in the beginning, all while planning to betray him
Unspoken Wound: That Carlos left the gang. They were like brothers.
Secret Identity: Carlos’ friend and brother
Character Name: Father Diego
Role: Triangle Character, Carlos’s priest and mentor
Hidden agendas: To have Carlos replace him as the ferryman of the damned
Competition:
Conspiracies: Grooms Carlos to a walk a dark path to complete a secret ritual
Secrets: He’s dead
Deception: Hiding the danger that Carlos is really in as he gets more obsessed with the Meat Wagon
Unspoken Wound: Knowing that he has to take a life in order to save his own.
Secret Identity: An undead servant of the devil in the guise of a priest
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Peter’s Subtext Characters
I will become a prolific screenwriter and producer of movies and streaming content in living in Canada and the US
What I learned doing this lesson is how important it is to get to know your characters and give them real wounds and subtext.
• Movie Title: Meat Wagon
• Character Name: Carlos
• Subtext Identity: Suspicious
• Subtext Trait: Running from his past
• Subtext Logline: Carlos is a former gang enforcer haunted by the sins of his past, making him susceptible to dark forces.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Hatred for his gang. Remorse for his past. Defense of his faith. Trying to be good husband and father. Tempted by his old life. Needs revenge! Torn between good and evil.
3. For your two leads, brainstorm these answers:
• Character Name: Jude
• Subtext Identity: Carlos’ former boss; a control freak and a sleazebag
• Subtext Trait: Kills what he can’t control.
• Subtext Logline: Jude is a man who always evens the score.
• Possible Areas of Subtext: Feels betrayed by Carlos. Jealous of Carlos’ family. Kills Carlos wife. Follows Santa Muerte
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Peter’s Actor Attractors
Lead Character Name: Carlos ‘The Scorpion’ Rameriz
Role: (Protagonist)
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
• A reformed MS 13 gang enforcer who has turned to the Catholic faith and his new family for a way out of the thug life. The Scorpion is feared throughout the Texas/Mexico cartel for his reputation of killing his victims – including women and children – with a poisoned machete. Putting his past behind him, he is soon faced with a choice that will lead him back down the Highway to Hell.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
• Carlos thinks he’s left the gangster life behind him – but all he has really done is kick the can down the road. After all, The Scorpion cannot change his nature.
• The transformation as a peaceful man of God to the hate filled killer who is willing to chase his enemies to the very gates of Hell.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
• Carlos smuggles undocumented Mexican women and children in the back of the hearse across the border to reunite them with their American father.
• Carlos watches as his wife dies in his arms after she is shot by his old gang.
• Selling his soul back to Santa Muerte.
• His eventual death and resurrection thanks to Father Diego.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
• Tense moments when Carlos must lie to racist state troopers to protect the woman and child hiding in a coffin in the back of his hearse when he’s pulled over.
5. What could be this character’s emotional range
• Charming and peace-loving husband and father to stone cold killer.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
• Carlos struggles with guilt over his past. Doesn’t believe that he’s a good husband and father. Resists temptation when his old gang comes to call.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
• Carlos’ hate-filled relationship with his old boss, Jude. The obsession he has with the old 1937 hearse.
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
• What others say about him. His reputation precedes him everywhere he goes – including the afterlife.
9. What could make this character special and unique?
• His tragic journey from reformed gangster to undead driver of the Meat Wagon.
ACTOR ATTRACTOR TEMPLATE
Lead Character Name: Father Diego
Role: (Antagonist)
1. What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it?
• Father Diego is a mentor to many former gangbangers because he was once one of them until someone showed him a different path. He’s a man of love and peace. But he’s also hiding a dark secret.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story?
• Father Diego was raised from the dead to pay for his sins by driving the Meat Wagon. He’s been looking for someone to pass on his curse to for decades.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script?
• He tries to protect Carlos from the voices calling to him from the possessed meat wagon.
• He mentors Carlos, while knowing he’s leading him down a path that will result int tragedy.
4. How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor?
• Father Carlos blesses the smuggled children he pulls from the coffin
• Present when the gang shoots up his church and protects Alejandro from the bullets, but can’t protect Dani
5. What could be this character’s emotional range
Compassionate, but absolutely a servant the dark
• The priest is a father figure to Carlos but is keeping a dark secret.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
• A man of God who’s soul belongs to a dark entity
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have?
• Carlos’ mentor and the man who raises him from the dead
• His relationship to the Meat Wagon
8. How will this character’s unique voice be presented?
9. What could make this character special and unique?
• A man of the cloth who is secretly a necromancer who serves the Saint of Death
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Peter’s Actor attractors for The Autopsy of Jane Doe
MY VISION:
I want a fulfilling career as a prolific screenwriter and producer in both film and streaming platforms and financial freedom to live in both Canada and the US.
WHAT I LEARNED: even playing must be done with conviction.
Lead Character Name: Tommy Tilden
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Typically, A-List actors aren’t attracted to horror movies. But in 2015, Scottish actor Brian Cox took the lead role in the movie The Autopsy of Jane Doe. The role was originally offered to veteran actor Martin Sheen who passed based on the subject matter. Cox who would later win a Golden Globe for his role as media mogul Logan Roy in the HBO series Succession, took the role because it offered a realistic portrayal of a father and son relationship in the context of a supernatural horror movie. “They’re both victims of grief, which is the loss of the mother and the circumstances in which she killed herself.”
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
There’s so much tragedy in the subtext of the script. Tommy Tilden’s wife killed herself. Tilden put his work before family. His need to be the perfect coroner makes him a horrible husband and father. He finally meets his match in a woman burned at the stake in 1693 at the Salem Witch Trials.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Takes on the case of discovering her cause of Jane Doe’s death. Belittles his son’s ambitions outside of being a coroner. Won’t admit he played a part in his wife suicide until the end. Continues the autopsy even when he knows it’s becoming dangerous for his son. For example, when the dead rise and start attacking! Why not run? He accidently kills his son’s girlfriend. Finally, he asks the witch to possess him and let his son live.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Lead county coroner who’s pressured by the local sheriff to determine the cause of death for Jane Doe.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
From being the stoic man of science to a disapproving curmudgeon failed father and husband to a man who finally meets a tragic end because of his pride.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Guilt for his wife’s suicide. Arrogant presumption that his son will follow in his footsteps. Also, as it becomes clear that the witch has placed a curse on all who would try to solve the mystery of her death, he finally asks the witch to take him and let his son live.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
His son and the witch.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
He’s crotchety and still has his moments of tenderness.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
A coroner who meets the ultimate mystery – determining the cause of death on a corpse that’s still alive!
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
Scene where Tommy asks Jane to ‘take him’ and leave Austin. After taking her body apart slice by slice, he knows that she’s still alive and listening. We watch as all the tortures endured by Jane at the Salem witch trials happens to Tommy. His wrists and legs break. His lungs are scotched. He begs Austin to end his suffering with a scalpel – which he does. In the end, Tommy resurrects and kills his own son.
Lead Character Name: Jane Doe
1. Why would an actor WANT to be known for this role?
Nothing like playing dead by lying naked on a cold slab of marble. It takes remarkable resilience and self-confidence as an actor to play the role of Jane.
2. What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in the movie?
She’s dead. But she still manages to terrorize Tommy and Austin Tilden.
3. What are the most interesting actions the Lead takes in the movie?
Revealing her cause of death slice by slice of her tissue during the autopsy and then healing.
4. How is this character introduced that could sell it to an actor?
Half buried in the dirt of a basement.
5. What is this character’s emotional range?
Limited. She’s dead.
6. What subtext can the actor play?
Playing dead.
7. What’s the most interesting relationships this character has?
With Tommy and Austin.
8. How is this character’s unique voice presented?
The scarring symbolism on the inside and outside of her body.
9. What makes this character special and unique?
She’s a corpse that’s still alive and hiding a curse.
10. (Fill in a scene that shows the character fulfilling much of the Actor Attractor model.)
When Jane Doe is lit on fire and puts it out by herself.
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Peter’s 4 Act Transformational Structure
My vision is to be a prolific screenwriter who sells compelling stories that are made into movies and streaming content.
What I learned is by going through the genre conventions, we can add certain pivotal scenes that elevate the story.
PURPOSE – The souls of the damned driven to Hell. Death is coming for all of us.
MONSTER – Monster is demonically possessed 1937 Packard Henney hearse. The hearse speaks to Carlos and gains influence over him.
DEATH – The Meat Wagon is the physical embodiment of Death especially horrible deaths meted out by Carlos with the poisoned machete. He’s now El Escorpión – the Scorpion. Carlos doesn’t realize that he never made it out of the shooting alive. We are seeing a dead man walking… Carlos doesn’t realize that he never made it out of the shooting alive. We are seeing a dead man walking…
DEPARTURE FROM REALITY – Carlos appears as both alive, dead and as a man resurrected. Carlos is a ghost at this point. Like the Sixth Sense he doesn’t know yet that he’s dead. So, people driving by the hearse would not see a driver!
ISOLATION – Carlos wakes up in a coffin. He tries to scream, but they sew his lips shut.
MORAL – Just like in the scorpion’s fable – a scorpion can’t change its nature—to kill. Neither can Carlos.
Concept: A reformed gangster takes a night job driving a hearse – a tough job by any measure—made supernaturally challenging because the body is the back is his.
Main Conflict: Carlos wants to walk the straight and narrow, but his old associate, Jude, wants to see him burn in hell for betraying his gang.
Carlos’s Old Ways
• Desperate to escape his past
• Afraid of his temper
• Conflicted life values
• Doesn’t trust his gut
Carlos’s New Ways
• Becomes El Escorpión
• Driven by revenge
• Raised from the dead
• Becomes the Ferryman of the Meat Wagon
Carlos Internal Journey: From a drug dealer and murderer to a man whose soul is saved from an eternity in Hell.
Carlos External Journey: From former gangster to loving husband and father to supernatural entity.
Act 1:
• Opening: A vintage black hearse with no driver pursues another car down a dark desert highway. The hearse runs the other car off the road. The driver exits out the passenger’s door of the burning wreckage, injured and desperate to get away. The side doors of the hearse swing open, and a coffin slides out on a table awaiting a new victim!
• Former gangster Carlos works for Father Diego at his funeral home driving hearse. His former gang tries to recruit him back into the thug life.
• Turning Point: The gang does a drive by shooting at the church where Carlos’s son is being baptized. Carlos’s wife is killed!
Act 2:
• New plan: Carlos gets revenge on his old gang for killing his wife.
• Plan in action: Carlos slaughters everyone with a machete. Jude shoots him and escapes.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Carlos burns down his old gang HQ…hides out from the cops in the funeral home. He doesn’t know he’s dead!
Act 3:
• Rethink everything: While in hiding, Carlos watches the old priest perform an arcane ritual on a body. Police come to the funeral home looking for Carlos. He escapes in the Meat Wagon
• New plan: Finish Jude!
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Carlos runs Jude off the road and kills him. Doesn’t realize that body in the back of the hearse his is own. It was his ghost driving the hearse!
Act 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: At his own funeral, the old priest raises Carlos from the dead. The old priest reveals that he too was once lost like Carlos until someone intervened to Santa Muerte to save him soul… Father Diego reveals his own autopsy scar! True to nature, Carlos decapitates the priest and completes the ritual. Carlos must pay a penance by becoming the new driver of the Meat Wagon.
• Resolution: Locals light black candles for protection as the hearse drives into the night looking for the souls of the damned!
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Peter’s 4 Act transformation Structure
Vision: I will be a prolific screenwriter of movies and streaming content and work with the best in the business.
What I learned doing this assignment is… Hal’s the man and Cheryl is the woman!
MEAT WAGON
Concept: Carlos is a reformed gangster who takes a night job driving a hearse – a tough job by any measure – made supernaturally challenging because the body in the back is his.
Main Conflict: Carlos and Jude – Carlos is trying to live a new life, but Jude pulls him back into it. Carlos’s sins transcend his mortal life and follow him into the afterlife.
1. Carlos Ramirez Old Ways
• Carlos wants to leave his old life as a murderer and drug dealer behind.
• His wife and son give his life meaning.
• Carlos has embraced the Catholic faith thanks to his mentor, Father Diego.
• He’s helps young men to avoid the gangster lifestyle.
2. Carlos Ramirez New Ways
• After his former gang kills his wife, Carlos slaughters them with a poisoned machete like his gangster handle El Escorpión – but in his berserker rage, he doesn’t realize that he’s fatally wounded.
• He wakes up in a coffin being driven to Hell!
• Father Carlos petitions Santa Muerte on behalf of Carlos.
• Carlos’s soul is saved from damnation; his penance is to ferry the souls of the damned to Hell.
MEAT WAGON/THE HEARSE
ACT I
Opening: Carlos and Father Diego smuggle a mother and child in the back of a hearse across the Texas/Mexico border. They avoid getting caught because one of the state troopers belongs to Father Diego’s parish. After the family is reunited, Carlos gets busy souping up the engine of another 1937 hearse.
Inciting Incident: Jude, Carlos’s former gang associate throws a wad of cash & drugs at Carlos to get him back to the thug life. But Carlos refuses to take the bait. Jude is insulted.
Turning Point: Carlos’s old gang shoots and kills Dani during his son’s baptism.
ACT II
Reaction: Carlos burns his old gang’s ‘destroyer’ house to the ground and slaughters them with a poisoned machete. Jude shoots him and escapes the carnage.
New Plan: Carlos hides inside the funeral home connected to the church of the old priest. Father Diego, also the local undertaker, starts to receive bodies from the coroner. Carlos watches from the shadows as the old man performs a strange ritual over one body in particular – he shaves the head, tattoos a symbol on its forehead and places a large coin in the mouth and sews the lips shut.
Turning Point/Midpoint: The police show up and question the old priest about Carlos. He tells them he hasn’t seen him since the baptism. Father Diego says that Carlos is dead to him.
ACT III
Rethink: A desperate Carlos grabs the vintage hearse and makes his escape. He doesn’t notice that there’s a coffin in the back. Carlos’s cell phone rings. It’s Dani! He loses her signal. He thinks he’s losing his mind.
New Plan: Carlos wants to finish the job and kill Jude, but Father Diego confronts him. He reveals that he had to intervene on his behalf with Santa Muerte. The old priest takes off his clerical collar and opens his shirt to reveal an autopsy scar. He too was once a bad ass on his way to Hell until someone intervened for his soul. Carlos realizes that he’s dead. He didn’t survive the encounter with his gang. The body in the coffin is his own!
ACT IV
Climax: Carlos rises from the coffin and spits up embalming fluid and the old coin– the price paid to Santa Muerte for his passage from the land of the dead. Carlos is forced to kill the undead Father Diego to complete the ritual and free the hold priest.
Resolution: Carlos runs down Jude with Meat Wagon. He is the new ferryman, just like many lost souls before him.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by Peter Symons.
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This reply was modified 3 years ago by
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Pete’s Subtext Plot
My vision is to be a prolific screenwriter who sells compelling stories that are made into movies.
What I learned from doing this assignment is that layering is the best way to reveal subtext to ratchet up the horror.
Layering/Someone hides who they are– how it plays out:
Carlos takes a night job driving a hearse for old Father Diego, but what he doesn’t realize until the end is that he’s already dead and it’s his body in the coffin in the back. Father Diego saves Carlos’s soul by petitioning Santa Muerte (Saint of Death) to allow Carlos to replace him as the undead driver of the hearse.
• High Concept: Carlos is a reformed gangster who takes a night job driving a hearse – a tough job by any measure – made supernaturally challenging because the body in the back is his.
• Major Story Hook: A reformed gangster is in the ride of his life after he discovers that that the hearse, he’s driving carries his body. Is there any hope for Carlos to save his soul from Hell?
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Peter’s Transformational Journey
My vision is to be a prolific screenwriter who sells compelling stories that are made into TV movies for the LA and Vancouver markets.
CARLOS
Arc Beginning: Former drug dealer and murderer
Arc Ending: Resurrected driver of the hearse!
Internal Journey: From vicious thug to protective father
External Journey: From ex-convict to repentant servant
Old Ways:
• MS 13 gangster.
• Murderer of women and children.
• Power hungry drug dealer.
• Runs from the past.
New Ways:
• Damned to Hell.
• Thief on the cross.
• Husband & father.
• Sacrifices himself.
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Peter’s Intentional Lead Character’s
My vision for my life path is to tell the best stories I can, and success will follow.
What I learned doing this assignment is that done is better than perfect.
Character: Carlos
Logline: A reformed gangster who is desperate to escape the sins of his past and will do anything to protect his young family.
Unique: Carlos is on the highway to Hell and he’s driving his own soul to judgement.
Character: Father Diego
Logline: A kind elderly priest who harbors a dark secret that consumes his life and anyone he encounters.
Unique: Father Diego has been bound body and soul to the hearse for over 30 years. His only escape from his living hell is to find a suitable replacement — Carlos.
Character: Hearse
Logline: A possessed 1937 Packard Henney hearse that has transported the remains of many evil men and women to their final resting place.
Unique: Its sole purpose is to deliver the souls of the damned to the gates of Hell.
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Pete Symons’s Title Concept and Character Structure
Vision: My life path is to tell the best stories I can and success will follow.
What I learned is just to trust the process and keep moving forward.
Title: Hearse aka Meat Wagon
Concept: Carlos is a reformed gangster who takes a night job driving a hearse—a tough job by any measure – made supernaturally challenging because the body in the back is his…
Character Structure: Protagonist v. Antagonist
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Hi Everyone
My name is Peter Symons. I’ve written seven scripts and had Jean Claude Van Damme attached to one project. I hope to write a kick ass marketable script and meet new colleagues!
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Peter James Alexander Symons
I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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I agree with the terms stated herein.
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Hey Farrin,
thanks! I’ll send my outline today.