[Rae Rodgers]

ROM COM – Lesson 7
What I learned during this assignment is how easy it is to create these awkward moments that become comedic. Sadly, similar scenes have been missing in my previous Rom Coms. This is a great exercise and learning curve.

ASSIGNMENT:
GET A LOT OF LAUGHS IN ONE SCENE !
1. Use list to Brainstorm incongruent situations:
Something About Mary – Shakespeare In Love
USE THIS LIST
1. Misinterpretation
2. Comedic Surprise
3. Wildly inappropriate Response
4. Forced Union of Incompatibles
5. Embarrassment
6. Comedic Tragedy

2. With each one brainstorm possible toppers by asking – What could make this situation worse for the character.

COMEDIC SCENE #1
INT. COCKPIT – NIGHT
Riley and Emmy settle into their jump seats, tired, ready to crash at any moment. Emmy blocks out any possible exposure to Riley, puts her eye mask in place, pulls a blanket over her head. Minutes later she jumps to her feet and bolts from the cabin to the toilet.
INT. TOILET (CONTINUOUS)
Emmy just makes it, flops onto the toilet and forgets to latch the toilet door. She rips off her top, smells her underarm and rips off her bra for a sponge bath.
PILOT CABIN
Riley jolts awake with a bathroom urge, propels out of the cockpit.

INT. TOILET (CONTINUOUS)
The toilet door slams open. Riley crams inside and slams into Emmy, breasts first. He gapes. She screams, pushes him hard as the door locks behind him. She covers her breasts. Drops her bra. As she bends to scoop it up she stops and lands eye to eye with his package, still covered, but pertruding!
Riley screams, “Out! Out!.” The door is still unlocked. A flight attendant pops her head inside and whispers “Keep it quiet.” Emmy says, “What! You think we’re doing it?” The stewardess smiles, winks, disappears. The plane hits an air pocket. Remmy screams, grabs hold of Riley where she shouldn’t. As their gaze locks they both burst out laughing.
He’s flustered, apologizing. He’s covering her up with his arms around her and suddenly his hug feels good. She surrenders for a second, then re-thinks. They do a dance as each tries to leave, brushing constantly up against each other.
There’s more turbulence! The plane lurches. They slam together again. She pushes him. They get their footing. She says,” You go.” He says, “You first.” But neither one is in a hurry to leave.
COMEDIC SCENE #2
INT. CHILDCARE CENTER – PALM SPRINGS – DAY
It’s prime time for mothers to drop off children. Riley enters, straight off the red eye flight, completely surprising Emmy! She screams, hugs him intensely, then introduces him to her mother, Nancy who is overwhelmed with the number of infants being dropped off. SEVEN MOTHERS drop off their one to four year olds, to be cared for until the end of their work day.
Riley and Emmy hug and kiss again for a few minutes – but the babies keep coming. Finally, Emmy jumps in with her mom, Nancy, overwhelmed by the number of “drop-offs.” Nancy shoves a nine-month-old into Riley’s arms, “Two of our helpers called in sick today, so here, find him a bed.” She smells him, ‘Oh God, he’s exploded, needs a diaper.” Riley panics, has no clue what to do. Emmy jumps in, shows him how and he goes pale. Shakes his head – there’s no way he’s doing the same.
Emmy takes in three more one-year-olds, settles them into cribs then takes a quick break with Riley. They hug a lot, talk a little. She asks, “Your Dad needs you. How the hell did you get away?” Riley says, “I bribed my sister. It wasn’t easy, cost me a trip to Cabo just for her to handle things for a few days.”
Mothers keep arriving! There’s now a total of twelve NEWBORN TO FIVE YEAR OLDS! Emmy slams a set of TWINS into Riley’s arms and points, “Put them in that play pen over there, will you.” As he does so, one of them throws up and drenches Riley. He’s upset, can’t handle the smell. He goes to Emmy, “Hey babe, can’t do this. It’s grossing me out. It doesn’t help that I’m sleep deprived. Is there someplace I can crash?”
Emmy agrees to take him home if he’ll wait ten minutes. Riley collapses on a bench in a far quiet corner — until a precocious FIVE YEAR OLD spots him, picks up his airplane launcher toy, starts firing at Riley until he runs outside. Emmy stops the boy, runs after Riley.
Back at Emmy’s home Riley jokes, “Hey babe, let’s rethink kids of our own.”
She gives a half smile, “I’ll be back in a minute.” She then enters her bedroom and hides her home made announcement, “ You & Me Babe, we are pregnant.’
COMEDY SCENE #3
Emmy flies into Seattle, takes an Uber to the shipyard, to McKay Boat Builders. She walks in unannounced, asks for Riley. The CLERK says he’s taken a yacht out on a trial run and should be docking pretty soon.
Emmy hustles to the docks, catches him before he sets sail. He is crazy happy to see her, takes her on the trial run.
Ten minutes at sea and Emmy’s Southern Cal tan has fast faded. She turns ghostly pale, She’s holding her stomach leaning over the rails. Ryan’s shouting from the helm, “Are you okay, babe?” She smiles, tries faking it, but he sees she is about to lose her lunch. He puts the steering on auto pilot and as he runs to her she projects, throws up all over him. He grabs a hose, cleans off. They hug and then she throws up again. She’s as pale as — He decides to take the boat back in. She keeping heaving all the way back to the dock.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rom Com – Lesson 4 – Rae’s Seven Stages of Love
What I learned from this lesson
Create the Seven Stages of Love for my 2 LEAD characters
The 7 Stages
1. Meet Cute #2
Palm Springs California 2006. Emmy Macfarlane (10) plays with a toy Unicorn while
watching her mother mop the arrival lounge floors.
Michael and Nancy McKay whip through Palm Springs Airport. Their children Riley (12) and
Jen (10) struggling to catch up. Suddenly Riley trips on a toy Unicorn and goes down. He
looks up into the eyes of Emmy. She smiles and offers him a hand up. But this is overridden
by the reprimand from Riley’s dad who screams at him. “Riley, get your butt over here NOW
or we’ll miss the hotel shuttle. ‘
Emmy quickly scoops up her Unicorn. She then hands it to Riley saying, “He’s for you. His
name’s Hart — and I’m sorry.” As Riley runs off, he turns around for one last look at her.”
2. Attraction/ Flirting
EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER
Riley (30), a commercial pilot of two years, throws his head in the cockpit for a word with
his friend the PILOT. He then zips to the cabin, grabs the empty jump seat, buckles up and
tries to sleep before take-off. As he dozes off EMMY (28), also a pilot, buckles up in an
adjacent jump seat. Dressed in uniform, she reveals a pair of legs that are supreme.
During take-off, Riley’s gaze is glued. He introduces himself, gets a little too chatty. Finally,
Emmy tells him she needs to sleep, and does so until touch down at LAX.
Riley asks for Emmy’s phone number. She hesitates, pulls out her phone, sends it to him.
He seems more interested than she – although we see she likes him.
One week later we see the exact same scenario. Riley and Emma flying side by side in
jump seats again. Emmy suspects Riley planned this, but the pilot confirms he did not.
She laughs at this, and this time really warms up to Riley. By the end of their three hour
flight Riley is in love… Emmy is in serious like.
3. Denial
The LAX Hilton is their meeting place with a definite plan for a sleep over. After an
incredible night, Emma disappears back to Palm Springs for a few weeks, gets absorbed in
her mother’s Childcare Centre, starts planning a second location and does not prioritize
Riley’s calls.
4. Separation/ Forced together
Riley’s father Michael has a heart attack and so Riley is called home to Seattle to run the
family boat building business, one of the biggest in Seattle. He leaves immediately telling
Emmy he does not know for how long.
5. Working through Issues / Differences
Riley reaches home, sees how desperately his father needs him, dives into the business
twenty four seven. Weeks later he’s exhausted himself, and has also neglected Emma.
She understands, but she’s pressured also, opening a second Child Care center for low
income mothers working mostly in domestic help.
They plan a getaway, meet one month later and get lost on Santa Monica’s beaches. Both
surmount all obstacles to get away… when they come together they fall right back into the
love affair. But their parting is intense, neither committing when they will next meet.
Two months later, Riley flies to Palm Springs and surprises Emmy. Their love, passion, is
still there. It’s intense, but still he can’t commit while his father is building his strength.
Emma is stressed when he gets there but committed to make this work. Riley’s sister Jen
helms the business but is buckling under the workload, wants him back in Seattle. Riley
and Emmy argue about how this can possibly work.
6. Hate/ Betrayal / All Hope is Lost
Michael has a second heart attack, needs triple by-pass surgery. Jen throws a guilt trip on
Riley, tells him he must come home to run the show.
Riley returns to Seattle, gets buried with the family needs and neglects to call Emmy. He’s
unavailable, buried in the business when she calls. When finally they speak, Emmy says
the relationship will never work – but soon realizes what they have is greater than this, and
hires someone to run the centers with her mother, then flies to Seattle, surprising Riley.
7. Love Happens
Riley and Emmy come together in Seattle. It’s a huge learning curve but still their love
rules.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rom Com – Lesson 3 – Rae’s Bigger Story – FIRST DRAFT
What I learned doing this assignment is not to lose it! I completed and saved this first draft then lost it somewhere in the ether! So, I’ve created a second draft with the intension it turns out better.
BRAINSTORM 5 ideas: Done. This is the one I am going with.
A. What interesting world could this story be set in?
1. The world of Aviation – Also the marine world in Seattle.
Both protagonists, male and female, are commercial airline pilots.
2. The world of Childcare Centers in favor of lower middle class working mothers.
Besides her piloting, the female protagonist runs two busy Childcare Centers in Palm Springs.
B. What major conflict could be happening?
The air-born couple falls in love when they meet in a pilot’s jump seat on an aircraft headed for LAX. The problem is, Riley McKay lives in Seattle, and besides piloting helps run the family’s marine business. While Emmy Macfarlane, who has close ties with her mother Nancy, also co-owns and runs an insanely busy Childcare center in Palm Springs.
C. What intriguing situation could these characters be in?
Both have had a love affair with airplanes since childhood. Both have committed to always be there for their parents at an early age. At some point Riley will step into the boat building business in Seattle. Emmy, committed to transform her mother’s life, from cleaning bathrooms while her ten year old self watched on, to owning Childcare Centers for working Moms, and for the good of the Palm Springs community.
D. The love is real and both of them know it.
They knew at first glance! As tired as they were, hitching a ride in the “jump seat” for pilots, when all they wanted was sleep – the opposite happened!

USE 4 ACT STRUCTURE
ACT 1:
Opening
INT. PALM SPRINGS AIRPORT – DAY
MICHAEL McKAY (45) and SHAUNA McKAY (44) stomp through the airport to catch a shuttle. Their children RILEY (12) and JEN (10) drag behind. Suddenly Riley trips on a toy Unicorn. He goes down. Locks eyes with EMMY MACFARLANE (10) as she scrambles after her unicorn. Michel yells, “For God’s sake Riley, get your ass over here!” Suddenly Emmy shoves the Unicorn at Riley, “Here, it’s for you. I’m Emmy and I’m sorry.” Their eyes lock as Riley takes the Unicorn and then runs like hell towards his parents.
ASSIGNMENT:
Create your concept and Conventions
Start with whatever idea you have, fill in the blanks and create a concept.
1. Two people who are destined to be together.
Much like the Brigid Jones the opening is a “meet cute” – a flashback to childhood.
At five, all Emmy wants is to be a pilot. No dolls, strollers; she wants trains, planes, boy toys with engines. But growing up in Joshua Tree far from cities and airports, tiny Palm Springs airport was where she’d watch planes take off and land… while her Mom did airport maintenance
From age six Riley had to fly. There was no compromise. The first indication was his leap from the family holiday home roof in Like Arrowhead with large self-made wings strapped to his upper body. And now, present day, after piloting a flight from Prague to NYC and a twenty four hour stopover he grabs a last minute “jump seat” for pilots only and heads to LA for a family reunion.
JFK Airport. As Riley boards the business class cabin a co-pilot takes him aside. Asks him to surrender his “jump seat” to a mother who is taking her special needs child to LA for surgery. Riley surrenders his seat in a heartbeat and waits for the next flight.
Hours later, boarding a back-up flight, the flight attendant steers Riley to the cockpit where the Captain gives him a revered jump seat in the cock-pit, one of two seats directly behind the pilot. Riley looks to his right, sees a pair of knock-out feminine legs, the rest of her hidden by a large open magazine. Minutes later, a very beautiful jerks her face from behind the pages introduces herself as Emmy.
During the five-hour non-stop flight the two talk, bond, and before landing both know there is something special there. Emma admits to him she has no life outside of piloting but wants to someday marry and have kids. She states she is a “Greeny,” talks passionately about married couples replacing themselves that’s all, and not adding to overpopulation. He listens but does not offer his opinion. By the end of the flight, Riley and Emma are inextricably in love!
2. How are they separated:
Riley’s family is in Bridgeport Connecticut. Emma’s is Los Angeles via Yucca Valley. At first they swear this will not separate them, but it causes tension as their relationship takes on a whirlwind life.
3. What forces them together:
San Francisco is Riley’s default stopover city. Los Angeles is Emma’s. They scramble their flight schedules to meet up in either city, but flights get delayed on a regular basis and there are too many missed dates. All he wants is marriage, but she has more piloting to do and is not yet ready to give up her life’s pursuit. So, she studies for her real estate license on the side thinking this might be an easy job to fall into while creating a family of four.
4. Issues to be resolved on their journey of love.
Riley and Emma cannot be apart! So, during a layover they go to marry in an LA courthouse. But before they take the leap they get a call from Seattle!
5. How are they separated.
Riley’s Dad Michael has a heart attack. Riley is called to run the family’s boat building company, the largest in Seattle. Emma returns home, expands her Childcare for working mothers business builds, she’s home less than when she was piloting!
How will comedy be expressed?
Emma and Riley are madly in love, so she takes random flights, hanging with him in the cockpit, taking “jump seat flights” to be together.
6. What forces them to be together?
They make it work, flying together no matter what, until Emma’s OBGYN tells her that air travel is no longer an option. She is pregnant! But they need to see, feel, touch each other twenty four seven and so separation is not an option.
7. Issues to be resolved on the journey of love
There is only one answer, Emma must stay home and live a conventional life. She is committed to the marriage and the baby but she also needs a career.
8. How will comedy be expressed to his parents.
INTERCUT: EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON:
We see Riley (30) in Airline Pilot uniform, returned home from a commercial flight and entering the family home. His father Michael has had a heart attack and wants to hand the reins over to Riley. But Riley has just met a girl, fallen hard at first sight, and the last thing he wants is to be tied to Seattle.
PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA:
Emmy (2*) is setting up a new Child Care Center with her mother, NANCY (55). It is their second center, and requires a lot of hands on attention. She is dressed in a commercial pilot outfit, having just arrived home from a long flight.
Inciting Incident.
BOING 777 – IN FLIGHT (NIGHT)
Riley is bumped from his “Jump Seat” in the Pilot’s cabin the minute he buckles up, surrenders the free seat to a disabled WOMAN who needs to reach LAX for urgent medical needs. He waits, boards the next flight, to find the second Jump Seat occupied by a stunning woman. In fact, it is Emmy! It’s love at first sight – and it’s mutual!
IN SEATTLE: Riley enters his family home to find his father waiting, along with the rest of his family. They break the news – Riley is to run the family boat building business.
IN PALM SPRINGS:
Emmy enters the Child Care Center to find her mother in tears, the load is to heavy. She can’t continue with the Centers unless Emmy devotes more time and support.
Riley calls Emmy from Seattle and breaks the news – tells her he loves, wants to marry her. Says he will work it out where they can be together.
Turning Point
The truth is neither Riley or Emmy can get away. They Facetime day and night, exhausted, and it just gets worse. They decide to take a break, shore up both businesses and then reunite.
ACT 2:
New Plan
Emmy is focused with a plan to get the Child Care Centers running smoothly, but after too many emotional “One on ones” solving the mother’s personal and domestic problems she is exhausted and has to get away.
Riley takes a leave of absence and puts his wings aside to help with the family. His father Michael is way too demanding and so Riley defers to his younger sister JEN, starts training her to take over the reins quoting Maya Angelou, “My mission in life is not to strive but to thrive.”
Plan in Action
Riley and Emmy make a plan to meet in LA within the month.
Midpoint turning point
The two weeks Emmy and Riley spend together are a romp in LA’s coastal resorts. They fall more deeply in love, refusing to be apart any longer than it takes to set up their parents with support people. It’s a painful goodbye.
ACT 3:
Rethink everything
Back in Seattle, faced with the fact his father needs him – no one else will substitute, Ryan calls Emmy, says he needs a year to pull things together. She gets upset, tells him to re-think his priorities, call her when he decides to get real. Meanwhile she has even more single women/mothers leaning on her for support and needs a reprieve. Nancy is adding pressure as well — and all she wants is to be with Riley.
New Plan:
Riley flies into Palm Springs Airport where, after an emotional reunion with Emmy, he sees a young girl clinging to her Unicorn. He tells Emmy the story of the girl who once gave him her Unicorn, said he’s never forgotten her. Days later the penny drops. Emmy recalls the Unicorn story, calls it “a sign” they were destined to be together. They marry at the PALM SPRINGS CITY HALL the next day.
A day later, Michael has another heart attack, this is one major, and Riley flies straight home. He calls Emmy, tells her he is badly needed to hold the family together. They argue about whose needs are more important. Riley blows up and there’s a disconnect that lasts for days – both on their own position.
Turning Point – Huge Failure/ Major shift
Nancy sees how destroyed Emmy is by Ryan’s absence, meets with her most ambitious mother and offers her a partnership in the Centers – subject to Emmy’s approval.
ACT 4:
Climax/ Ultimate expression of the conflict
Ryan’s father Michael has still another heart attack but he does not survive it and the McKay family falls apart. This time Emmy flies to Ryan, sees how difficult it is for him to desert the bond of his family for a life in California. They share all options… how can they be apart when they are so mad about each other. They are also married! It becomes a work in progress.
Resolution:
The Airlines give an ultimatum. Ryan must return or he will lose his current status and have to start from zero. He hires a general manager to helm the boat business, returns to the Airlines with his home base in Palm Springs. He’s tense and not himself with Emmy. It becomes a work in progress.

[Rae Rodgers]

Lesson 1 – Rae Rodgers – Concept & Conventions
What I learned doing this assignment is how to build a story from nothing. It can be done if you have a good story reserve from your own life experience and a wildly creative mind to pull from… also excellent screenwriting guidance such as SWU.

Fill in the blanks to create a concept:

ASSIGNMENT:
Create your concept and Conventions
Start with whatever idea you have, fill in the blanks and create a concept.
1. Two people who are destined to be together.
Much like the Brigid Jones the opening is a “meet cute” – a flashback to childhood.
At five, all Emmy wants is to be a pilot. No dolls, strollers; she wants trains, planes, boy toys with engines. But growing up in Joshua Tree far from cities and airports, tiny Palm Springs airport was where she’d watch planes take off and land… while her Mom did airport maintenance with no caregiving support for her child.
From age six Riley just had to fly. There would be no compromise. The first indication was his leap from the family holiday home roof in Like Arrowhead with large self-made wings strapped to his upper body. And now, present day, after piloting a flight from Prague to NYC and a twenty four hour stopover he grabs a last minute “jump seat” for pilots only and heads to LA for a family reunion.
JFK Airport. As Riley boards the business class cabin a co-pilot takes him aside. Asks him to surrender his “jump seat” to a mother who is taking her special needs child to LA for surgery. Riley surrenders his seat in a heartbeat and waits for the next flight.
Hours later, boarding a back-up flight, the flight attendant steers Riley to the cockpit where the Captain gives him a revered jump seat in the cock-pit, one of two seats directly behind the pilot. Riley looks to his right, sees a pair of knock-out female legs, the rest of her hidden by a large open magazine. Minutes later, a very beautiful jerks her face from behind the pages introduces herself as Emmy.
During the five-hour non-stop flight the two talk, bond, and before landing both know there is something special there. Emma admits to him she has no life outside of piloting but wants to someday marry and have kids. She states she is a “Greeny,” talks passionately about married couples replacing themselves that’s all, and not adding to overpopulation. He listens but does not offer his opinion. By the end of the flight, Riley and Emma are inextricably in love!
2. How are they separated:
Riley’s family is in Bridgeport Connecticut. Emma’s is Los Angeles via Yucca Valley. At first they swear this will not separate them, but it causes tension as their relationship takes on a whirlwind life.
3. What forces them together:
NYC is Riley’s default stopover city. Los Angeles is Emma’s. They scramble their flight schedules to meet up in either city, but flights get delayed on a regular basis and there are too many missed dates. All he wants is marriage, but she has more piloting to do and is not yet ready to give up her life’s pursuit. So, she studies for her real estate license on the side thinking this might be an easy job to fall into while creating a family of four.
4. Issues to be resolved on their journey of love.
Riley and Emma cannot be apart! So, they marry in NYC courthouse and Emma, while piloting back and forth, gets pregnant way before she is ready.
5. How are they separated.
Four months into her pregnancy, with bad bouts of morning sickness and unable to pilot is forced to give up the career of her lifetime. She studies, passes her California real estate exam, but this will never satisfy or replace her obsession with piloting planes. As her business builds, she’s home even less than when she was piloting!
How will comedy be expressed?
Emma and Riley are madly in love, so she takes random flights, hanging with him in the cockpit , hiding her growing baby bump from the Airlines, taking “jump seat flights” just to be together… using a paper bag when she has to!
6. What forces them to be together
They make it work, flying together no matter what, until Emma’s OBGYN tells her that air travel is no longer an option. But they need to see, feel, touch each other twenty four seven and so separation is not an option.
7. Issues to be resolved on the journey of love
There is only one answer, Emma must stay home and live a conventional life. She is committed to the marriage and the baby but she also needs a career. So she studies for her real estate license —
8. How will comedy be expressed
Currently a work in progress 🙂

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU – CONTAINED MOVIE – LESSON #11 (#1)

What I leaned is this helped me flesh out the existing and also the new characters I’ve added.

CHARACTER DEPTH

CHARACTERS:

JESI JOHNSON (35)

GERARD (40)

JASON (60)

SHEILA (55)

JACKSON (59)

JESI

1. INTERNAL CHARACTER DEPTH

MOTIVATION: Deserted at four by an alcoholic mother, Jesi works at becoming her father’s clone. A brave millennial who can seal a real estate deal, also a tomboy who can plumb a house as well as any man. At thirty-five she’s jilted at the altar. Vows never again to marry and then moves back in with her Dad

SECRET: She misses her mother every day but would never admit this to her father who is still bitter and will not speak her name. All the same Jesi looks for her – but always gets sabotaged.

WOUND: Still in search of her mother, she finds the marriage cert. Go to the church, finds her records. Stops right there, afraid she will hurt her Dad, reveal the lie.

SUBTEXT: She prays for her mother every day – does her own search to find her.

LAYERS: She’s a smart, feisty millennial – but also a little girl in search of her mother.

2. CHARACTER TO CHARACTER:

JESI & SHEILA

CONFLICT: After Jackson dies, Jesi revs up her search for her mother. At the same time, starts at West Coast Investments, where ninety percent of the sales staff are men. Three months later, two female agents, both married, quit to attend to family. The company CEO lays down a new rule – from now on the company hires single females only – starting with Jesi. But Jesi is busy closing two big sales and desperate to keep this job. She tells Jason, office broker, it’s illegal, she will report to the Dept. Of Real Estate – unaware the CEO Sheila, is the mother who’s been missing most of her life.

HIDDEN AGENDA: Jesi is unaware her mother Sheila is the CEO who is calling the shots in her company.

CONSPIRACY: Sheila tells her broker Jason her secret. Says if he makes this known he’s fired.

INTRIGUE: Sheila is not that tough. She runs every day and then sits praying at the foot of the Buddha.

3. CHARACTER SITUATION:

Jackson lies to Jesi, and when he suddenly dies takes the lie with him. His wife Sheila, Jesi’s mother is alive and well and still works in Long Beach.

Jesi needs the big money, will do anything to keep her job at West Coast Investments. Even when she knows she is being sabotaged, forced to remain single.

4. DILEMMA:

Jackson dies suddenly, leaving Jesi a huge amount of debt, medical and IRS, that must be paid.

Even though Sheila works in the same building as her abandoned daughter Jesi, she will not reveal herself.

5. SECRET IDENTY: Although she shows a tough exterior most of the time, after Jackson dies she can still be reduced to a frightened four year old.

6. WOUND: Her mother left because she didn’t love her.

7. SUBTEXT: Jesi is tough and gutsy – but on the outside only.

GERARD:

INTERNAL CHARACTER DEPTH: He loves his profession, brain surgeon, but is pressured by the certain image he his to project.

MOTIVATION: After their first meeting, he vows to marry Jesi Johnson no matter what.

SECRET: He has a twelve year old boy Julian, undisclosed to Jesi.

WOUND: His secret love was international sailboat racing. He wanted this career, but his father would disinherit if he give it up and pursue medicine.

SUBTEXT: He is Canadian at heart, and not as at home in America as he says.

LAYERS: A brilliant, committed surgeon – he is a lover of the sea at heart.

CHARACTER TO CHARACTER: He is warm and fully engaging with Jesi – who does not have time for him.

CONFLICT: He worries he’s not a good enough father to his twelve year old, Julian.

HIDDEN AGENDA: He really did illicit his friend the wedding celebrant to show up at the restaurant to marry him and Jesi.

CONSPIRACY INTRIGUE: He committed to marry Jesi – no matter what.

CHARACTER SITUATION: He lied and withheld his son, Julian from Jesi.

DILEMMA: Jesi is too busy at work to consummate her wedding vows.

SECRET IDENTITIY: He’s Canadian through and through, and plans to return some day.

WOUND: He left his elderly mother and father at home in Canada.

SUBTEXT: He intends to pay off Jesi’s debt to get her back in his life.

SHEILA:

(INTERNAL CHARACTER DEPTH:

MOTIVATION: She’s bound and determined to keep her company sales force exclusively male agents.

SECRET: She has an estranged daughter who is now one of her staff.

WOUND: She regrets the pain she caused her husband Jackson and Jesi.

SUBTEXT: She is tough – does not want to admit her guilt.

LAYERS: She has regretted her early life decisions. Wants to make it up to Jesi – but it’s hard – much easier to block her out.

CHARACTER TO CHARACTER: She confides in Jason, tells him she is Jesi’s mother – but will not concede to his requests to meet her.

CONFLICT: She fights with Jason – who refuses to enforce the company’s “single women only rule.”

HIDDEN AGENDA: She wants desperately to make it up to her daughter – but it looks impossible.

CONSPIRACY: Jason pressures Jason to non-disclose.

INTRIGUE: We do not know the real reason she left the marriage.

CHARACTER SITUATION: She becomes trapped in her lie.

DILEMMA: She’s watching and tracking Jesi – unafraid to meet her.

SECRET IDENTITY: Very few people have met Seila, the CEO.

WOUND: Her own families desertion – left in foster homes.

SUBTEXT: She will make it on her own, no matter what.

JASON:

INTERNAL CHARACTER DEPTH: He has elderly parents he cares for and needs the job. So he puts up with Sheila’s demands.

MOTIVATION: The money to take care of his family.

SECRET: He hides Sheila’s identity.

WOUND: He fears he is too week to stand up to his boss.

SUBTEXT: He knows Gerard. Also knows about his secret vows with Jesi.

LAYERS: He’s a good man. Wants to see Jesi happy.

CHARACTER TO CHARACTER: He goes head to head with Sheila but she always wins.

JACKSON

INTERNAL CHARACTER DEPTH

Jackson neglected to tell Jesi why her mother Sheila really left. The truth – they both had a drinking problem – the marriage was toxic. Sheila severed it the only way she could. But Jackson never told Jesi the real truth. Sheila’s biggest regret was Jesi always leaned on Jackson, not her. Finally decided Jesi would have a healthier life with her father. Made him promise he’d stop drinking, raise their daughter to his utmost ability. Jackson agreed.

[Rae Rodgers]

Hi Cheryl,

Help! It seems only two writers signed for this class. I know Karen was trying to keep up – but she may have dropped out a few lessons ago. I am finding it hard to keep up myself. If this class requires us to “exchange scripts” I will need to pass and probably drop out as well.

How many more Lessons are there? I don’t have much staying power given there are no other writers.

Thanks, Rae

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU – CONTAINED MOVIE

LESSON# 10 – CREATING YOUR OUTLINE

What I learned this assignment. This was a whole lot of work! FYI,I am working with a completed script which makes some of this redundant?

RAE’S FOUR ACT STRUCTURE

This 4 Act lesson has helped me organize the script in my head. Now I can refer to this 4 Act structure to answer formatting questions from others. It also mapped out the story clearly in my head and will help with future pitching sessions.

THE OVERVIEW:

· TITLE: MARRIED OR NOT

· GENRE: ROMANTIC COMEDY

· LOGLINE: Dumped at the altar, vowing never to marry, Jesi takes on a single ladies only commercial real estate job, to make the big commissions needed to pay off her deceased father’s debt – and then meets the love of her life.

PASS 1: 4 ACT STRUCTURE:

CONCEPT: Jesi is dumped at the altar, then suffers the loss of her father causing a Tsunami of grief. She’s also inherited her father’s debt, needs to ramp up her earnings, and so commercial real estate seems like the answer. But this field is competitive, male dominated, and could be way out of her league. Also, Jesi’s company of choice has a “single women only policy” issued by their female CEO.

MAIN CONFLICT

Jackson’s death plagues Jesi with grief, followed by huge medical bills plus the IRS is stalking for taxes on unreported gambling wins. A big income job is what she needs and so West Coast Investment Real Estate looks like the answer. But the competition is fierce, Jesi’s not getting leads, and continues to run her father’s construction truck for survival.

ACT 1 OPENING

Abandoned by love, Jesi moves in with her father Jackson. But he soon dies in a freak accident, leaving behind a huge amount of medical and gambling debt. Dr. Gerard LeBlanc, Jackson’s surgeon, is struck by Jesi’s humanity, her beauty, tells office manager, Mrs. Mehta, “Jesi is the woman I will marry.” But Jesi’s too busy honing her real estate skills. An besides, she is locked into a “single females only” job vowing never to walk the aisle again.

INCITING INCIDENT

Jesi’s new job is grueling, the male competition relentless. She begs the broker Jason for leads but loses every time to top producer Henry Woo. Jason insists it’s out of his hands, restates the company rule, backed by the CEO. But when Henry snakes Jesi out of a listing the game is on!

TURNING POINT

Jesi breaks the downward spiral and finally sells a building. The seller is Harold, her father’s good friend, who then introduces her to a band of old men “The good old boys”, all wealthy apartment building owners. Jesi has an immediate breakthrough, starts listing their buildings.

ACT2: NEW PLAN

Top producer Henry Wu slams Jesi, insists the good old boys are HIS clients, says Jesi knows nothing, she’s just a Rookie. All the while she keeps listing and closing sales. During all this Gerard the doctor is in hot pursuit, calling, sending her flowers.

PLAN OF ACTION

In the middle of all the new sales activity, Jesi agrees to meet Gerard for coffee. He tells her she’s captured his heart. She tells him she’s interested too, but never wants children – shares that her mother deserted her at four. Gerard gets her to agree to a dinner date – can’t help himself, proposes to Jesi in the heart of a romantic olive tree setting. His friend, a wedding celebrant, appears by chance. He marries them – tells them their vows are real. They’re married all but for the license.

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT

Gerard pressures Jesi to go to City Hall. She promises she will but her business is exploding! She gets a private office, hires two assistants Michael and Giselle. Meanwhile the business keeps pouring in. To date, Gerard has not disclosed to Jesi he has a twelve year old boy, worried this might cause him to lose her, for she wants to remain childless.

ACT 3:

RETHINK EVERYTHING

Jesi’s making the big commissions, most of her paychecks usurped by the medical and IRS debt. She feels she’s working for them, not keeping her word to her husband Gerard, but until her big sales are closed, she’s keeping the wedding secret.

NEW PLAN

Jesi hardly has time for Gerard – he gives her two months to seal their wedding vows with a license. When she does not deliver Gerard blows up, tells her to get her priorities straight. Finally, Jesi drives to him – but sees him kissing another woman. She calls the marriage off!

TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/ MAJOR SHIFT

Jesi is still closing the big deals, alienating her male competition, namely Henry. But she is miserable without Gerard. Jason learns of the marriage, discloses this to Jesi, adds that his daughter babysits Gerard’s son Julian. He’s surprisingly sympathetic.

ACT 4:

Jesi is targeted for Rookie of the Year. The company CEO finally makes herself known to Jesi – discloses that she is her estranged mother. Jesi wants nothing to do with her.

FINAL PLAN

Jesi pays off her father’s one hundred thousand IRS debt but is left without resources to pay property taxes and the final medical bills.

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT

Gerard forgives the medical debt, gives Jesi new financial freedom. She agrees to meet his boy Julian, also go for a sale on his yacht. The day goes very well.

RESOLUTION

Still torn between sales and closings and her commitment to Gerard, Jesi finally agrees to meet him and Julian the next day at City Hall – but that morning she’s sabotaged by a plumbing disaster in one of her recent sale buildings. The new buyer is threatening to sue – so she throws on her coveralls, grabs her plumbing gear, man’s Jackson’s truck, rushes to handle the emergency. While Gerard and Julian wait outside City Hall. She calls, apologizes, promises to them she will be there the next day.

PASS 2: ADD IN THE CHARACTER’S JOURNEY:

1. JESI

Jesi is hit with demands for north of $300K of Jackson’s debt. She has to grow up fast, find a job where she can generate this kind of income. But male dominated commercial real estate is not easy – to get the job she agrees to remain single.

Three months of struggle, squeezed out of a big listing, Jesi toughens up. It helps that she has a friend in Harold, a rich apartment owner who introduces her to his band of good old boys, his apartment building rich friends. Soon she lands her first sale and listing.

Henry Woo is furious. The good old boys were his clients, his main source of income. He and Jesi become competitors.

Gerard, her deceased father’s surgeon, has been calling Jesi, sending flowers, trying for a date or even just a coffee. She is too busy.

Gerard is still calling. Three months on the job, juggling several listings, Jesi is now too busy. But the surgical bills are oppressive, with still not enough commission checks to cover them. She agrees to meet Gerard for coffee, to arrange a payment agreement.

At the coffee shop they are both struck with each other. On their first date Gerard proposes. His friend, a wedding celebrant, shows up by chance. Gerard proposes to Jesi and they are married on the spot. All they need is a license at City Hall.

Jesi pleads with Gerard – this must remain their secret. At the same time she discloses she does not want children. Gerard agrees to the secret- but only for two months.

Jesi is still selling, geared for “Rookie of the Year.” Gerard is upset, pushing for more. Still not disclosing his son.

Word of their marriage gets out. Jason the office broker confronts Jesi, and says he knows Gerard. Jesi loses it, says it’s illegal, threatens to report Jason to the Dept. of Real Estate. He defers to the company CEO, Sheila Harden, says it’s her rule not his.

Jesi goes to the CEO’s office, wants to thrash it out with her – but she’s denied a meeting.

Jesi hears about Gerard’s son, Julian. Calls him a liar. Calls the marriage off.

Jesi is Rookie of the Year, but it’s not enough. Her commissions are still usurped by medical and IRS debt. She desperately misses Gerard – who forgives her the balance of medical debt. Her next meeting is with CEO Sheila, who is revealed as her “deceased mother.” Jesi learns her father had done this selfishly to protect her. A shaky bond begins.

Jesi agrees to a meeting with Julian and there’s an immediate connect. Jesi makes plans to meet at City Hall.

“

2. GERARD

Gerard meets with Jesi at his patient, Jackson Johnson’s bedside. After his death, Jesi confides about her father’s love of Frank Sinatra. Something electric happens. He pursues Jesi until she finally agrees to meet for coffee. The next evening, over dinner, he proposes. His friend a wedding celebrant shows up and they are married on the spot – except for the license.

But Gerard has another life – and a twelve year ols son he does not disclose, because Jesi made it clear she does not want children. Because her business is finally taking off, she also wants to keep the marriage a secret. He agrees, but only for two months.

Two months later, Gerard is pushing for results. Jesi is working twenty-four seven but he’s still insisting they go to City Hall.

Jesi hears through her broker Jason that Gerard has a son. She confronts him. City Hall and the marriage is called off.

Finally, Gerard’s office forgives Jesi the balance of the medical debt. She agrees to meet Julian and all’s forgiven. Jesi agrees to go to City Hall in the middle of a storm of real estate closings, shows up in her coveralls. Gerard does not care one bit.

3. HENRY

Henry Woo, the office top producer, will do anything to keep his top company status. But when he sabotages Jesi’s chance to share Henry’s listing, Jesi threatens him, stating her intension to kill him in sales, become the company’s top producer. But still, there’s a sexual energy between them – as they write Haiku together.

4. SHEILA HARDEN

Jesi’s undisclosed, long forgotten mother. At four years old, her father Jackson told her that her mother was dead. She may have well been – she left America and returned to Britain.

Sheila is the voice behind the “Single Women Only” rule. We hear her voice but she appears only at the end of the story when Jesi insists on meeting the company CEO.

PASS 3: BUILD IN THE LAYERS & REVEALS OF THE STORY:

BRAINSTORM POTENTIAL “PLOT” LAYERS

MAJOR SCHEME REVEALED

Jesi needs a high paying job to pay off her deceased father’s debt.

HIDDEN HISTORY

Jesi is her father’s clone, knows everything about construction, very little about the world of commercial real estate.

MISTERY REVEALED

Jesi’s completely at home in coveralls but knows very little about commercial real estate.

1. BRAINSTORM POTENTIAL “CHARACTER” LAYERS

SECRET IDENTITY

A tomboy at heart – happy doing plumbing. Commercial real estate is a huge learning curve.

INTRIGUE LAYERS

She can dress up, look stunning, but is more at home working beside her Dad, in coveralls.

HIDDEN CHARACTER HISTORY

Somewhere inside Jesi there is a lost, abandoned little girl.

While her mother Sheila Harden, who’s been hiding out in the field of commercial real estate, is forced to surface and explain her past.

Gerard also has a past he must reveal to Jesi – that includes his undisclosed twelve year old son.

2. BRAINSTORM POTENTIAL CHARACTER LAYERS

Jesi: Comfortable in her own skin, running a construction truck, crawling under buildings.

Does a one eighty when she dives into commercial real estate knowing heaps about the buildings and very little about closing a deal.

TELL THE LAYERS YOU’VE CHOSEN:

JESI

Jesi is her father’s clone – loves sliding under buildings, crawling over roofs.

SURFACE

She looks pretty in coveralls but even more so in evening dress.

BENEATH

Having blocked her mother out since childhood, she has an empty place inside.

HOW REVEALED

Her mother suddenly becomes her boss.

PASS 4: BUILD IN “THE INFINITE POSSIBILITIES.”

Go to lesson 8. Copy the “Infinite Possibilities”

Ask – does this change still deliver on the concept??

** This becomes problematic because I am working with a completed script.

THE SLUG LINE: I have already completed this.

THE DESCRIPTION: Completed

THE PLACEHOLDER: Completed

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU

Contained Movie – Lesson #9 – Rae’s Budget

What I learned doing this assignment: More clarity for the potential budget. I leaned towards low budget writing the script, but this process has shown me the areas I need to scale down.

MAIN VARIABLES:

*NUMBER OF LOCATIONS:

1. Traditional Church & Open field

· Change from a traditional church scene to an outdoor space for the wedding venue

**Use this location also for the two “Fantasy Scenes.”

2. Residential home – Long Beach

3. Residential Real Estate – manager’s office

4. Commercial Real Estate general office

5. Executive Real Estate office

6. Jessi’s private real estate office

· #3 thru 6 – These offices are all necessary, but could be grouped into two or three?

7. Mediterranean residential home – Long Beach

8. Hospital Ward & Doctor’s office – Long Beach

· Scale this down to bare minimum – just one room

9. Medical office parking lot

10. Vacant beach and pier

11. Coffee shop – Long Beach

12. High end restaurant – Long Beach

* Same restaurant to be used for High end & coffee shop

13. Hotel room – Long Beach

14. Twenty-unit apartment building and grounds – Long Beach

15. Henry Wu’s Condo

16. Los Alamitos Yacht Club

City Hall Parking Lot

Los Alamitos Yacht basin

* EXPENSIVE LOCATIONS:

Night Club – cut this scene.

Residential real estate general offices – could be one large room with bull pens – plus two private offices.

High end restaurant – could also be used for the coffee shop scene.

Twenty unit apartment building

Los Alimitos Yacht Club

*NUMBER OF CHARACTERS

*Special Effects – The 2 Fantasy Scenes

*Number of Pages 85

*Crowd Scenes – opening scene – the wedding and reception

*Stunts: Chase scenes, fight scenes – none

*Special Sets – the two fantasy scenes out in nature

SECONDARY VARIABLES:

Rights to Music, brands, books etc.

· Big Item – Frank Sinatra music is threaded through-out the movie.

BIG ITEM EXPENSE

Explosions and Firearms:

· None

Kids – shorter work-days – Tutor on set:

*One child – Julian (12) in foru separate scenes

Animals – Need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society

· None

Weather – Rain, Snow, Wind, Tornadoes:

· Shot in California – only good weather 😊

Water and Underwater scenes:

· None

Night Scenes

Helicopters, Aircraft, Drone shots

· None

Green Screen work

· Uncertain

Extensive Make-up

· Uncertain

Archival Footage

· None

Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance

2. Then go through your list and tell us what you might add if your BUDGET was quadrupled.

* A List actors for the roles of Jesi, Gerard, Harold and Henry.

* Sweeping sailing scenes on Gerard’s yacht

* Save the Night Club scene with Jesi and Gizelle

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU – CONTAINED MOVIE – LESSON #8

RAE WRITES GREAT LOVE/FEAR

What I learned this assignment is it looks like another big re-write, but it will be worth it.

BRAINSTORM 5 OR MORE HOPE FEAR MOMENTS THAT CAN OCCUR IN EACH ACT.

OPENING:

1. Jesi is jilted at the altar, vows she’s over men – moves in with her father Jackson:

2. Jesi’s fears she’s losing her autonomy.

3. After Jackson dies: Show Jesi’s sense of abandonment.

4. Jesi seeks solace with Harold, Jackson’s old friend. Confides her Dad’s construction business is where she wants to be – but to pay off his debt she needs big income. He says she should do commercial real estate.

5. Harold’s friend, Jason Schindler at West Coast Investments, takes Jesi on with a caveat that she remain single, office policy Jesi says it’s illegal, but she is desperate for the job.

6. CEO Sheila Harden remains anonymous to her salesmen. Jason’s her only mouthpiece.

7. Two months on the job, working both real estate and construction, Jesi has not made a deal. The truck business is her sole income.

8. Jesi stalks Jason for leads, but they go to top producers only. She’s desperately making cold calls, knocking on apartment manager’s doors.

INCITING INCIDENT: West Coast Investment’s #1 producer.

1. Jackson dies, the result of a freak accident. Jesi becomes the recipient of her father’s mounting debt, medical and IRS.

2. She has a love connection with Gerard, her father’s surgeon. He makes it clear he wants to marry her but she fears losing her job.

3. Harold is listing his twenty-unit apartment with long time agent Henry Woo, asks him to split the listing with Jesi. He says too late! Jesi vows to beat Henry at his game and become #1 in sales.

4. To compensate for the lost listing Henry introduces Jesi to his “Good Old Boys,” all wealthy apartment owners. Within twenty-four hours she lists a twenty-unit building.

TURNING POINT:

1. The good old boys use Henry Woo as their agent but are now looking for new blood. One by one Jesi signs their listings. Henry is furious. Jesi keeps apologizing, setting up a love-hate relationship.

2. Gerard pursues Jesi with calls and flowers – until finally she agrees to meet for coffee. There’s chemistry. She agrees to a dinner date where he proposes. Gerard’s friend, a wedding officiant, shows up serendipitously, marries them right there in the restaurant.

3. Jesi has several listings and sales to her credit, is a hot commodity for broker Jason. She worries about how to break the news of her marriage. She starts, then stops when he restates the office marriage policy.

PLAN OF ACTION:

1. Gerard pushes Jesi for a date to go to City Hall to consummate the marriage with a license.

2. Jesi is so busy listing and closing sales she does not have the time for marriage.

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT

1. Jesi pushes Jason to drop the Single Women Only clause in her contract.

ACT 3: NEW PLAN

1, Jesi keeps closing deals, headed for “Rookie of the YEAR.”

2. keeps pushing Jason – wants to meet the elusive CEO, Sheila Harden.

RETHINK EVERYTHING

1. Gerard puts the pressure on. Wants to announce the wedding to the world.

2. Gerard also has a withhold. Jesi has made it clear she wants no children. He has an undisclosed twelve year old boy, Julian.

3. Also Julian does not want another mother – because they die.

NEW PLAN:

1. Gerard tells Jesi he has a twelve year old boy, Julian.

2. Jesi pulls back.

3. Finally Jesi agrees to mee Julian.

ACT 4:

FINAL PLAN:

1. Jason calls Jesi to his office – he knows she is married.

2. Jesi insists on a face-to-face meeting with CEO, Sheila. If not, she will take her single women only ruling to The Dept. of Real Estate.

3. Sheila avoids – we learn her backstory – she is Jesi’s mother (pronounced deceased to Jesi at age four.

CLIMAX/UNTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT:

1. Sheila exposes herself, tells Jesi the truth.

2. Jesi is devastated – has to rethink everything.

RESOLUTION:

1. Sheila is a runner. Invites Jesi to run with her and the sharing is intense.

2. Finally, playing Sinatra’s music and reminiscing there is a resolution.

3. Weeks later at City Hall, Jesi leaves Gerard waiting – she’s too busy closing a deal.

4. Gerard says it is now or never.

5. The next day, Gerard exits the City Hall with Jesi – followed by Sheila, and young Julian.

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU CONTAINED MOVIE – LESSON #3

RAE’S ASSIGNMENT RIGHT CHARACTERS

What I learned: This was a special way to process your characters and build on them, using their flaws and indiscretions.

Think about your Concept Hook & Contained Setting:

Contained Setting: The real estate office where most of the drama takes place.

The Hook: First Jesi must abide by the company rule, single women only. A rule laid down by the company’s female CEO.

1. Main Characters – how do they uniquely fit with the hook.

JESI: Jesi commits to pay off her deceased father’s gross amount of debt. Jumps into Commercial real estate and is willing to accept the company’s “single females only” rule, which is a blatant violation of DRE law, in order to make the big money.

GERARD: Gerard wants to make Jesi his own, but when she admits she does not want children, he withholds his twelve-year-old son, Julian. Even after they marry – on their first date.

2. Think about the conflict the HOOK creates, how does each character enhance or cause that conflict.

At first Jesi is willing to ignore the sexist company ruling, but then, after she secretly marries Gerard, her guilt kicks in.

Gerard has withheld his son from Jesi. He knows he has to disclose but puts it off again and again.

3. Tell us what makes these characters the right ones for this story.

Both characters have a hidden agenda but still they want the same result – to announce their marriage and make it legal at City Hall.

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU – Contained Movie Class – Lesson #6

Rae’s Delivering Multiple Layers

What I learned was that adding these layers that were not there in the first draft add a mystery that keeps the reader or movie goer intrigued and left wanting more.

1. BRAINSTORM POTENTIAL “PLOT” LAYERS

MAJOR SCHEME REVEALED

Jesi needs a high paying job to pay off her deceased father’s debt.

HIDDEN HISTORY

Jesi is her father’s clone, knows everything there is to know about construction, but very little about the world of commerce and/or commercial real estate.

MISTERY REVEALED

She’s completely at home dressed in coveralls, can set a toilet, plumb a bathroom, but knows very little about how to sell commercial real estate.

2. BRAINSTORM POTENTIAL “CHARACTER” LAYERS

SECRET IDENTITY

A tomboy at heart – happy to work on plumbing.

Commercial real estate is a huge learning curve.

INTRIGUE LAYERS

She can dress up and look stunning but is more at home working beside her Dad, dressed in coveralls.

HIDDEN CHARACTER HISTORY

Somewhere inside Jesi there is a lost and abandoned little girl.

While her mother Sheila Harden, who’s been hiding out in the field of commercial real estate, is forced to surface and explain her past.

Gerard also has a past he must reveal to Jesi – it includes his undisclosed twelve-year-old son.

3. BRAINSTORM POTENTIAL CHARACTER LAYERS

Jesi: Comfortable in her own skin, runs a construction truck, goes crawling under buildings.

Does a one eighty when she dives into real estate knowing heaps about the buildings and very little about closing a deal.

TELL THE LAYERS YOU’VE CHOSEN:

JESI

Jesi is her father’s clone – loves sliding under buildings, crawling over roofs.

SURFACE

She looks just as pretty in coveralls as a stunning evening dress.

BENEATH

Having blocked out her mother since childhood, she has an empty place inside.

HOW REVEALED

Her mother suddenly becomes her boss.

[Rae Rodgers]

CONTAINED MOVIE – LESSON #7

RAE’S FOUR ACT STRUCTURE

What I learned this lesson was it organized the script in my head. Now I can refer to this 4 Act structure to answer formatting questions from others. It also mapped out the story clearly in my head and will help with future pitching sessions.

4 ACT STRUCTURE

CONCEPT: Jesi is dumped at the altar, then suffers the loss her father resulting in a Tsunami of grief. She’s also inherited her father’s debt, needs to ramp up her earnings, and so commercial real estate seems like the answer. But this field is competitive, male dominated, and could be way out of her league. Also, Jesi’s company of choice has a “single women only policy” issued by their female CEO.

MAIN CONFLICT

Jackson’s death plagues Jesi with grief, followed up with huge medical bills. Even the IRS is stalking for taxes owed on Jackson’s unreported gambling wins. A big income job is what she needs, and fast. West Coast Investment Real Estate seems to be the answer, but the competition is feirce, Jesi is not getting leads, feeling pressured to prove herself, while running her father’s construction truck for survival.

ACT 1 OPENING

Abandoned by love, Jesi moves in with her father Jackson. But he soon dies in a freak accident, leaves behind a huge amount of medical and gambling debt. Dr. Gerard LeBlanc, Jackson’s surgeon, is struck by Jesi’s humanity and her beauty, tells office manager, Mrs. Mehta, “Jesi is the woman I will marry.” But Jesi’s busy honing her real estate skills. Locked into a “single females only” job she vows never to walk the aisle again.

INCITING INCIDENT

Jesi’s new job is grueling, the male competition relentless. She begs the broker Jason for leads but loses every time to top producer Henry Woo. Jason insists it’s out of his hands, restates the company rule, backed by the CEO. But when Henry snakes Jesi out of a listing the game is on!

TURNING POINT

Jesi breaks the downward spiral and finally sells a building. The seller is Harold, her father’s good friend, who then introduces her to a band of old men “The good old boys”, all wealthy apartment building owners. Jesi has an immediate breakthrough, starts listing their buildings.

ACT2: NEW PLAN

Top producer Henry Wu slams Jesi, insists the good old boys are HIS clients, says Jesi knows nothing, she’s just a Rookie. All the while she keeps listing and closing sales. During all this Gerard the doctor is in hot pursuit, calling, sending her flowers.

PLAN OF ACTION

In the middle of all the new sales activity, Jesi agrees to meet Gerard for coffee. He tells her she’s captured his heart. She tells him she’s interested too, but never wants children – shares that her mother deserted her at four. Gerard gets her to agree to a dinner date – can’t help himself, proposes to Jesi in the heart of a romantic olive tree setting. His friend, a wedding celebrant, appears by chance. He marries them – tells them their vows are real. They’re married all but for the license.

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT

Gerard pressures Jesi to go to City Hall. She promises she will but her business is exploding! She gets a private office, hires two assistants Michael and Giselle. Meanwhile the business keeps pouring in. To date, Gerard has not disclosed to Jesi he has a twelve year old boy, worried this might cause him to lose her, for she wants to remain childless.

ACT 3:

RETHINK EVERYTHING

Jesi’s making the big commissions, most of her paychecks usurped by the medical and IRS debt. She feels she’s working for them, not keeping her word to her husband Gerard, but until her big sales are closed, she’s keeping the wedding secret.

NEW PLAN

Jesi hardly has time for Gerard – he gives her two months to seal their wedding vows with a license. When she does not deliver Gerard blows up, tells her to get her priorities straight. Finally, Jesi drives to him – but sees him kissing another woman. She calls the marriage off!

TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/ MAJOR SHIFT

Jesi is still closing the big deals, alienating her male competition, namely Henry, but miserable without Gerard. Jason learns of the marriage, discloses this to Jesi, adds that his daughter babysits Gerard’s son Julian. He’s surprisingly sympathetic.

ACT 4:

Jesi is targeted for Rookie of the Year. The company CEO finally makes herself known to Jesi – discloses that she is her estranged mother. Jesi wants nothing to do with her.

FINAL PLAN

Jesi pays off her father’s one hundred thousand IRS debt but is left without resources to pay property taxes and the final medical bills.

CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT

Gerard forgives the medical debt, gives Jesi new financial freedom. She agrees to meet his boy Julian, also go for a sale on his yacht. The day goes very well.

RESOLUTION

Still torn between sales and closings and her commitment to Gerard, Jesi finally agrees to meet him and Julian the next day at City Hall – but that morning she’s sabotaged by a plumbing disaster in one of her recent sale buildings. The new buyer is threatening to sue – so she throws on her coveralls, grabs her plumbing gear, man’s Jackson’s truck, rushes to handle the emergency. While Gerard and Julian wait outside City Hall. She calls, apologizes, promises to them she will be there the next day.

GO BACK – SEE IF THERE ARE ANY BIG PICTURE POINTS YOU MUST ADD TO YOUR ANTAGONIST

I still need to add Jesi’s childhood, deserted by her mother, and the reveal that her estranged mother is the company CEO.

[Rae Rodgers]

Top of Form

Lesson 5 – Rae’s Character’s Journeys

What I learned during this assignment is that this lesson has provided me a better hook and outline with which to do the rewrite.

1. Jesi

Beginning: Jesi is jilted at the altar affirming her lifelong mistrust of marriage and the family cohesiveness it provides.

Turning Point:

Abandoned at a young age by her mother Sheila Harden, rescued by her father Jackson Johnson, Jesi embraces his legacy – his love of Sinatra, also his many construction skills – until a fatal accident pillages Jackson away from her.

Mid-point:

Forced to pay off her father’s enormous amount of medical and IRS debt, Jesi jumps into the male dominated commercial real estate arena. To seal the job at Coast Capital investment, she agrees to remain single, knowing this is illegal. CEO, Sheila Harden, tells broker Jason Schindler that he has no choice but to enforce this rule. He disagrees – but there’s a secret she wields over him.

Mid-point 2:

Commercial real estate becomes a twenty-four seven grind for Jesi, but after two months of rejection broker Jason throws her a lead. She then leans on a property rich family friend Harold, who introduces her to a band of old men, all rich and restless property owners. One by one she sells their apartment buildings, until company top producer Henry Wu, exposes her as a rookie who’s been hijacking his longtime clients.

Turning Point 2:

Jesi meets the love of her life, Gerrard, her deceased father’s doctor, and they’re married on the first date – but still need a wedding license to make it legal. Jesi’s been tagged as a possible “Rookie of the Year,” and mentions the possibility of marriage to broker Jason, states his “get married and get fired” rule is illegal. He disagrees, threatens her job, and Jesi keeps her marriage quiet. But Gerard is demanding they go to City Hall for the license.

Dilemma:

Jason learns Jesi is married – he also knows Gerard. He meets with Sheila, pleads Jesi’s worth, says she’s his best producing agent. Sheila has been monitoring Jesi and is close to revealing herself to her daughter. She agrees to bend the rule temporarily.

3^rd. Act Climax:

IRS agent Whipple hounds Jesi for payment of her father’s gambling debt. She agrees to pay when her big sale closes – but an IRS lien shows up. She asks Whipple to help remove the lien or her big sale will cancel.

Ending:

Gerard forgives Jesi’s father’s surgery debt, insists they must get the license, that she also meet his boy. She forgives him, says she’s ready to go.

The IRS agent saves Jessi’s sale – which results in a friendship. She then meets Julian, Gerard’s boy, and together all three attack City Hall. As they leave the venue she gets a call from her mother – Sheila Harden.

[Rae Rodgers]

Karen, Thank you for your input and tenacity! It seems it’s only us two and I am sadly lagging behind – having not received lesson #4 or a response to the request to resend.

I’m also unable to pull up my prior posts. Still, I am about to tackle Lesson #5.

Rae R

[Rae Rodgers]

Cheryl, Please send me lesson#4 – did not get it. Thanks!

[Rae Rodgers]

Day 2 – Rae’s Great Hook

What I learned: How the process worked for me and what I learned:

The hook I am adding is a focus on the mother daughter relationship. A mother who has been long forgotten by a daughter who believes she is dead.

This process took lots of brainstorming, but eventually I came up with a hook that changes the entire screenplay. It will be a huge re-write, but I think well worth it. Still hoping I can still keep the script in the “Rom-com” lane.

1. Brainstorm possible major hooks.

Jesi jumps into the male dominated field of commercial real estate to pay off her deceased father’s debt, unaware that her mother is president of “West Coast Capital Investments” and owner of their three offices. A mother who remails anonymous, wielding her power, single women only, through the company’s hard core brokerage manager, Jason.

2. Ask high Concept questions. What haven’t we seen before?

(a) A female owner/entrepreneur makes major breakthroughs in Commercial Real Estate but keeps her gender a secret in this strictly male dominated business. Until her estranged daughter joins the firm, desperately seeking to make the big commissions to pay off her deceased father’s mounting debt.

(b) Sheila Harden heals her substance abuse issues, but then takes on the larger addiction of commercial real estate in disguise.

(c) Sheila Harden, owner of “Coast Capital Investments,” uses office manager, Jason, to hire and manipulate Jesi, her estranged daughter of twenty years. A daughter who has written her off, believing she was dead. But with the recent loss of her father, Jesi is pressured to pay off his mounting debt, has no choice but to tackle commercial real estate where women usually fail and leave defeated.

3. Pick the most interesting:

4. Select One – DO NOT TELL

5. Keep the High Concept to self.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae Rodgers – Containment Class – Assignment 1

What I learned during the process. Having been involved in the full production of a feature film from start to finish I know location scouting, casting, wardrobe and make-up decisions are key to the budget and ultimate success of the production. A single location for the entire film makes a huge difference in the budget. However, the script must be exceptional in order to warrant one location.

Part 1

Ticket To Paradise

A Netflix film starring George Clooney & Julia Roberts. Budget $36M.

How they did it:

Story set in the USA and Bali. Filming started in Bali but due to the strict Covid social measures in Bali the shoot location was changed to the Whitsundays and the Gold Coast, in Queensland Australia. Netflix may have partnered with Screen Australia and Screen Queensland for this production – may have gotten government incentives to do so.

A. People – large cast for the Bali scenes.

B. Stunts – in the ocean.

C. Extras – Bali beach and wedding scenes.

D. Wardrobe – Julia and George in casual dress – not high end.

E. Hair and make-up – Julia and George low key.

F. Kids and animals – none

A. Quarantine – this was shot in Bali and Australia in the height of Covid.

PART 2

A. People – could have been limited with the beach and wedding scenes.

B. Stunts – no stunts – just water activities.

C. Extras – these could have been limited in the beach and wedding scenes.

D. Wardrobe – casual dress for the main actors.

E. Hair and make-up – Julia and George would warrant the best.

F. Kids and animals – limit only in the wedding and beach scenes.

G. Less crew members, less locations. The film was shot between November 2021 and February 2022, in the middle of Covid. The Australian Gov’t had very strict Covid guidelines, so this had to have been difficult, definitely for the film maker’s travel and accommodation plans. There were also strict quarantine rules – remember Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson?

[Rae Rodgers]

Hi everyone,

This will be short, though not heartfelt. Looking forward to this class and this experiment. I signed up thinking I would be using one of my existing scripts. However, I think it might be more advantageous to start out with a brand new concept. So, I am brainstorming several ideas right now.

My genres are family dramas or romantic comedies – feel good stuff with social messages and happy endings. I don’t write super-hero, major conflict, horror, and so I am deep in the process of searching for that new story with a great hook.

Also, I may be lagging behind a bit because of my schedule but I will conclude this class! As for sharing/critiquing the work with other writers this is not my” fav” but I will do my best.

Good luck to you all!

Rae

[Rae Rodgers]

I, Rae Rodgers, as a member of this group, agree to the terms of this release form as follows:

GROUP RELEASE FORM:

1. That I will keep the process, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons and models of the class confidential, and that I will not share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications lessons and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writers work here is copyrighted and that the writer is the sole owner of this work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing and will not share this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that i had this idea prior to the beginning of this class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the owner that presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organization or people.

[Rae Rodgers]

DAY #17 (continued)

NEW OPENING:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE (LONG BEACH) – EVENING

GIZELLE (35), blonde, single, sweeping sex appeal, knocks and barges
through the front door. JACKSON JOHNSON (59), sunk in his recliner, leg in a
cast, goes unnoticed by Gizelle as she stalks to the bathroom.

GIZELLE

Hey girl, you ready to party!

JACKSON (O.S.)

Who the hell are you?

GIZELLE

Jesi?!

JESI (O.S.)

Hey Zelle, I’m in the bathroom!

Jackson shouts at the two of them.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Jesi, sure you shut the water off? And who the hell was that ?

JESI

Of course, Dad. It’s Gizelle of course!

Gizelle slams into the bathroom, sees Jesi entangled in the plumbing mess.

GIZELLE

What the fuck. We’re gonna be late!

JESI

(to Gizelle)

Hey girl, happy birthday!

JACKSON

(shouts O.S.)

So you drained the tank, pulled the toilet off?

JESI

Dad, how many times have we done this!

JACKSON (O.S.)

Well yell if you need a hand. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.

JESI
All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON

Now you see that worn seal under the bowl? Don’t forget to replace it
with the one on the counter before you drop the toilet back on.

JESI

It’s not my first plumbing gig, Dad.

She resets the toilet with Jackson still shouting, Gizelle freaking out.

JACKSON

Remember to tighten those bolts real good before you set it back on.

JESI

No worries, Dad.

JACKSON

Well you need to know this stuff if you’re gonna run my truck someday.

JESI

Dad, I do a better goddamn job than any man and you know it.

JACKSON

Watch that mouth young lady.

JESI

(mouths to Gizelle)

What a mind drop!

Gizelle points to the time unwilling to wait around.

GIZELLE

(leaving)

Okay let’s just meet at the Club.

JESI
Okay. This won’t take long.

GIZELLE

Be there, Pine Street, ten o’clock.

JESI

Thought we said eight. Only for you, girl.

TIME LAPSE

INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT

Jesi steps from the shower drying off, slips on a tiny black dress, piles on
the make-up, twists her hair in a high knot. The mirror shows a stunning
young woman who’s a tomboy at heart, but has looks that would turn heads on any fashion runway.

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Females only. Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. Gizelle dances solo, oozing
sex. Jesi’s struggling to keep up. A GAY FEMALE dances between them.
Jesi includes her. Gizelle breaks up the threesome, heads for the bar.
JESI
(shouts)
Hey Zelle, get back here! What are you afraid of?

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – DAY #16 RAE’S AMAZING OPENING SCENE

What I learned this assignment is my opening obviously still needs work, but the question is, is this ever not the case? This exercise has been extremely helpful in
ramping up several of my character’s intros in these first scenes.

BRAINSTORM 3 OTHER OPENINGS- GIVE A ONE PARAGRAPH SYNOPSIS OF 3 opening scenes.

BEFORE VERSION.

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE (LONG BEACH) – NIGHT

JESI JOHNSON (35), resets a toilet, her rough hewn contractor dad JACKSON (59), yelling
instructions from his recliner, his foot in a cast. CU on Jesi, a tomboy at
heart who’s looks could also turn heads on any runway.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Are you sure you shut the water off?

JESI

Of course, Dad.

JACKSON

You drained the tank and pulled the toilet off?

JESI

Dad, how many times have we done this together?

JACKSON

Well that’s one helluva heavy toilet so give a yell if you need a hand.

JESI

All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON

Now, you see the worn seal under the bowl? Well don’t forget to replace it with the
one I left on the counter… then drop the toilet back on.

JESI
This is not my first plumbing gig, Dad.

Jesi resets the toilet with Jackson still shouting.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Remember to tighten those bolts real good before you set it back on.

JESI

No worries, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Well you’ll need to know this stuff if you’re gonna run my truck someday.

JESI

Dad, you know I do a better job than any man.

(to herself)

Geez, what a mind drop.

Jesi tightens the final screw then answers her flashing cell phone, wiping sweat.

JESI
(into phone)

Hey, happy happy. We still on? Ten o’clock?

(listens)

Pine Street? Okay, only for you, girl.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi steps from the shower drying off, slips into a tiny black dress, piles on the
make-up sculpting heavy around the eyes, twists her hair in a high knot.

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Females only. Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. GIZELLE (35), dances solo, oozing
sexy. Jesi’s struggling to keep up.
A GAY FEMALE dances between them. Jesi’s fine with it. Gizelle breaks up the
threesome, heads for the bar.

JESI

(shouts)

Hey, get back here! What are you afraid of?

3 NEW OPENINGS

Opening #2. Jesi Johnson (35) is stuck at home repairing a toilet while her father Jackson
(59), yells instructions, his leg in a cast. Jesi’s best friend, Gizelle Brown
(37), charges in ready to party while Jesi’s busy bolting down the toilet, all sweaty. Her father insists she must stay and finish the toilet repair.
Jesi’s party animal prevails. She ups and leaves saying she’ll finish
tomorrow. He yells if she leaves the job un-finished, she is unworthy of
running his business. Jesi runs out with Gizelle anyway.

Opening #3. Jesi (8), wakes from a dream, screaming for her mother. Her mother sits on
the front porch, drunk, bottle of scotch in hand, unaware her daughter
needs her. Jesi rips out of bed and runs to the safety of her father, Jackson.
Cut to present day. Jesi repairs the family toilet. Her father JAXCKSON (59)
reclined, shouting instructions, his foot in a cast. Jesi cautions she doesn’t
have long, that she and Gizelle are going clubbing for her birthday. Gizelle
arrives and within minutes Jesi glams up, flies out the door yelling she’ll
finish the job in the morning. Jackson snaps back, she’s unreliable, should
forget any pipe dreams of running his business.

CURRENT SCRIPT:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE/BATHROOM (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON(35), resets a toilet, spanner in hand. Her contractor dad JACKSON (59), yell from a recliner, his foot in a cast.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Sure you shut the water off?

JESI

Geez Dad, of course I did.

JACKSON

Drained the tank and pulled the toilet off?

JESI

Dad, how many times have we done this?

JACKSON

Well give a yell if you need a hand. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.

JESI

All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON

Now, see the worn seal under the bowl? Replace it with the one on the counter then drop the toilet on.

JESI

This is not my first go round, Dad.

Jesi resets the toilet, Jackson still shouting.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Remember to tighten those bolts real good then set it back on.

JESI

You got it. No worries, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Well, you need to know this stuff if you’re gonna run my truck someday.

JESI

You know I’ll do the job better than any man.

(to herself)

Geez, what a mind drop.

She tightens a last screw, faces a full length mirror wiping sweat, answers her flashing cell phone.

JESI

(into phone)

Hey, happy birthday. Are we still on, eight o’clock? Pine Street?

(listens)

Ten o’clock! Only for you, girl.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi dries off from her shower, slips into a tiny black dress, piles on the make-up highlighting the eyes, twists her hair in a high knot.

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Females only. Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. GIZELLE(35), dances solo, oozing sexy. Jesi’s struggling to keep up.

A GAY FEMALE dances between them. Jesi’s fine with it. Gizelle breaks up the threesome, heads for the bar.

JESI

(shouts)

Hey, get back here! What are you afraid of?

FINAL DRAFT:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE/BATHROOM (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON(35), resets a toilet, spanner in hand. Her contractor dad JACKSON (59), yelling from a recliner, his foot in a cast.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Sure you shut the water off?

JESI

Geez Dad, of course I did.

JACKSON

Drained the tank and pulled the toilet off?

JESI

Dad, how many times have we done this?

JACKSON

Well give a yell if you need a hand. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.

JESI

All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON

Now see the worn seal under the bowl? Replace it with the one on the counter then drop the toilet on.

JESI

This is not my first go round, Dad.

Jesi resets the toilet, Jackson still shouting.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Remember to tighten those bolts real good before you set it back on.

JESI

You got it. No worries, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

You need to know this stuff if you’re gonna run my truck someday.

JESI

Dad, you know I can do the job better than any man.

(to herself)

Geez, what a mind drop.

She tightens a last screw, faces a full length mirror wiping sweat, answers her flashing cell phone.

JESI

(into phone)

Hey, happy birthday. Are we still on, eight o’clock? Pine Street?

(listens)

Ten? Only for you, girl.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi dries off from her shower, slips into a tiny black dress, piles on the make-up highlighting the eyes, twists her hair in a high knot.

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Females only. Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. GIZELLE (35), dances solo, oozing sexy. Jesi’s struggling to keep up.

A GAY FEMALE dances between them. Jesi’s fine with it. Gizelle breaks up the threesome, heads for the bar.

JESI

(shouts)

Hey, get back here! What are you afraid of?

FADE IN:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE/BATHROOM (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON(35), resets a toilet, spanner in hand. Her contractor dad JACKSON (59), yelling from a recliner, his foot in a cast.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Sure you shut the water off?

JESI

Geez Dad, of course I did.

JACKSON

Drained the tank and pulled the toilet off?

JESI

How many times have we done this?

JACKSON

Give a yell if you need a hand. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.

JESI

All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON

See the worn seal under the bowl? Replace it with the one on the counter then drop the toilet on.

JESI

It’s not my first go round, Dad.

Jesi resets the toilet, Jackson still shouting.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Remember to tighten those bolts real good then set it back on.

JESI

You got it. No worries, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

You need to know this stuff if you’re gonna run my truck someday.

JESI

Geez, what a mind drop. You know I’ll do the job better than any man.

She tightens a last screw, faces a full length mirror wiping sweat, answers her flashing cell phone.

JESI

(into phone)

Hey, happy birthday. Are we still on, eight o’clock? Pine Street?

(listens)

Only for you, girl.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi dries off from her shower, slips into a tiny black dress, piles on the make-up highlighting the eyes, twists her hair in a high knot.

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Females only. Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. GIZELLE(35), dances solo, oozing sex. Jesi’s struggling to keep up.

A GAY FEMALE dances between them. Jesi’s fine with it. Gizelle breaks up the threesome, heads for the bar.

JESI

(shouts)

Hey, get back here! What are you afraid of? FADE IN:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE/BATHROOM (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON(35), resets a toilet, spanner in hand. Her contractor dad JACKSON (59), yelling from a recliner, his foot in a cast.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Sure you shut the water off?

JESI

Geez Dad, of course I did.

JACKSON

Drained the tank and pulled the toilet off?

JESI

How many times have we done this?

JACKSON

Give a yell if you need a hand. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.

JESI

All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON

See the worn seal under the bowl? Replace it with the one on the counter then drop the toilet on.

JESI

It’s not my first go round, Dad.

Jesi resets the toilet, Jackson still shouting.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Remember to tighten those bolts real good then set it back on.

JESI

You got it. No worries, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

You need to know this stuff if you’re gonna run my truck someday.

JESI

Geez, what a mind drop. You know I’ll do the job better than any man.

She tightens a last screw, faces a full length mirror wiping sweat, answers her flashing cell phone.

JESI

(into phone)

Hey, happy birthday. Are we still on, eight o’clock? Pine Street?

(listens)

Only for you, girl.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi dries off from her shower, slips into a tiny black dress, piles on the make-up highlighting the eyes, twists her hair in a high knot.

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Females only. Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. GIZELLE(35), dances solo, oozing sex. Jesi’s struggling to keep up.

A GAY FEMALE dances between them. Jesi’s fine with it. Gizelle breaks up the threesome, heads for the bar.

JESI

(shouts)

Hey Zelle, get back here! What are you afraid of?

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – DAY #15 – RAE’S AMAZING 3RD. ACT
What I learned from this assignment is I am so far behind I will be shortening
these assignment exercises to a more concise version and completing this course
at a later date. I’m sorry but I will not be exchanging scripts at the completion of
this class for my work schedule does not allow.
The ending must be surprising but inevitable.
The ending must be larger than Act 1 and Act 2.
The ending must be filled with meaning that has been well set up.
Must express and resolve the main conflict in some way.
Some kind of satisfying conclusion.
Keep us guessing to the very end.
Beg. of Act 3 main character is at his/her lowest. Now they have to face their
worst fear. Bring conflict to the boiling point.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Write a paragraph or two telling the set-up from 1st and 2nd. Acts. With the
specific set-ups that are paid off in the 3rd Act.
2. List Current Structural Beats of your 3rd. Act in your Post.
3. Go through the 7 rules- check to see if low on the quality
4. SCAN work powerfully.
5. MOST IMPORTANTLY IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR ENDING.
PLOT POINT 2: A major twist that sends the story towards it’s final destination.
CRISIS: The Decision Point – the dilemma of movie is FORCED ON Protagonist.
CLIMAX: Bring the Protagonist FACE TO FACE with the protagonist.
RESOLUTION: Show effects of the climax. Tie up loose ends.
FINAL PAGE: The final minute to deliver the MOST important meaning of movie.
3 ACT SET UP:
Jesi Johnson’s life is predictable life. She lives with her father Jackson, sells
residential real estate, also dabbles in her father’s construction business, fixes
everything from pipes, to toilets, to roofs.
She likes her independent single life, is not adverse to marriage, but definitely
does not want kids. Then when Jackson has a fatal accident even the handsome,
attending surgeon does not have what it takes to soothe Jesi’s grief. Bombarded
immediately with her father’s bills, Jesi jumps into commercial real estate to ramp
up her income and becomes the lone saleswoman in a male dominated office,
with huge income potential. An uphill battle ensues with her male competition,
and top producer Henry Woo her main rival. Besides this the new commercial
broker tells her if she marrys, she no longer has a job. But for now, she needs the
big income because Jackson’s bills are piling high.
Three months later Jesi’s loneliness kicks in where Jackson’s Sinatra record
collection no longer soothes her. Doctor Gerard’s calls, notes and orchids finally
get her attention. She agrees to a first date. That night she falls hard for Gerard
and it is mutual. He proposes before dinner, and then they serendipitously bump
into Gerard’s friend a fellow doctor and marriage celebrant. The celebrant
marries them on the spot, under the lights of the intimate patio. Next morning,
Jesi panics. She already has one apartment building sale in the works plus two
new apartment listings. Although her love is real she tells Gerard she does not
have time to get the marriage license and make their wedding vows legal.
Gerard is unhappy but agrees to keep the marriage secret. But two months later,
after Jesi working like a fiend, he gives her an ultimatum. The real estate job or
him! But he also has his own secret for he has not divulged he has an obnoxious
nine-year-old boy. The more business Jesi writes, the more the hidden marriage
starts takes it’s toll. But the big income is hard to give up with the huge amount
of medical and gambling bills she’s being hit with.
Jesi’s sales explode, but by now she realizes what she had with Gerard. She goes
after him but finds him with another woman not knowing it’s his niece. Finally,
she confronts her broker Jason, tells him what he’s doing is illegal and she will
marry when she wants, but he already knows about her marriage, warns her that
her job is at stake Plus, how can she leave with four big deals in the works and
rival Henry Woo ready to take over her deals. Jason confesses he knows Gerard,
says he has a nine-year-old boy. Jesi charges from his office hurt and angry, slams
into Gerard who just arrived and is looking for her. Jesi calls him a liar, calls their
wedding a scam and then call the whole thing off.
THIRD ACT STRUCTURAL BEATS:
1. Jesi and Gerardd are at a stand-off.
2. Gerard tells his son Julian he and Jesi are married. The boy rebels, gets a
mohawk! Gerard knows he needs to pay more attention to his son.
3. Jesi agrees to an intimate dinner at her sales rival Henry’s home – but says
no to him for she still does not trust him.
4. All of Jesi’s escrows are imploding – the sellers are threatening to cancel.
5. Jackson’s debtors are all closing in on Jesi.
6. Jesi realizes how much she loves and needs Gerard.
7. IRS agent Mr. Whipple works with Jesi to help her save a spiraling sale.
8. Gerard apologizes, even forgives Jesi’s medical debt. Jesi responds with
yes, I will meet your boy, and yes, let’s go get the license.
9. Harold and the good old boys give a send off at the Yacht Club before Jesi
and Gerard sail off to Catalina.

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – DAY #14 – MOST MEMORABLE LINES
What I learned from this assignment: I have shortened the exercise using only two
scenes with the main character, Jesi. This is because I have fallen so far behind in
the assignments. I will expand on this assignment later, after the end of this class.
OPENING SCENE:
INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE/ BATHROOM – DAY
JESI (35) squats by a toilet, spanner in hand while her contractor father yells
instructions from his recliner, his foot in a cast.
JACKSON
Are you sure you shut the water off?
JESI
Yes Dad.
JACKSON
Then you drained the tank?
JESI
Of course, Dad.
JACKSON
Well give a yell if you need help to lift it back on. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.
JESI
All’s good, Daddy.
JACKSON
Now, you see that worn wax seal beneath the bowl? Replace it with the new one
on the counter then drop the toilet back on.
JESI
It’s not my first replumb, Dad.
She resets the toilet with Jackson still shouting.
JACKSON
Remember to tighten those bolts real good before setting that toilet back on.
JESI
No worries, Dad.
JACKSON
If you’re gonna run my truck someday you have to know this stuff.
JESI
Admit it, Dad. This daughter can plumb, roof, re-wire and pound nails better than
any freakin’ man.
(to herself)
Geez, what a mind drop.
NOTE: This is the re-write. I did not post the old scene. In this new dialogue Jesi
is more assertive, professing she is as good as any man. This sets her up for the
male dominated commercial real estate field she is about to break into.

[Rae Rodgers]

Sorry SWU! I totally erased this completed assignment. I have added the new scenes to my script but for some reason cannot reclaim this assignment in Microsoft Word. Oh well, on to Lesson #12!

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – DAY #11
RAE’S ELEVATED SCREEN STRUCTURES

What I learned from this assignment is I had neglected to include many of these
scene structure elements when after taking many SWU classes and assignments, I should know this. Often we know our characters
intimately but don’t put these elements on the page, when this is what makes it a more
compelling character and scene.

I did not save the TWO ORIGINAL SCENES and so I am posting the revised scenes
only.

ORIGINAL SCENE:

In the original scene Jesi receives the orchids, answers the phone to Gerard, but
shuts him down immediately and hangs up.

REVISED SCENE: USING MISLEAD AND REVEAL

Jesi is skeptical of Gerard, but still she engages because she is enamored with
him.

The scene in Gerard’s home has been added. It foreshadows and tells us he has
a seven year old boy who for some reason he is withholding from Jesi.

EXT./ INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Jesi drops into Jackson’s recliner, wine in hand. A door-bell rings. Jesi opens the
front door, finds a vase of white orchids on the porch. The card reads, “I’m yours
if you need me, Gerard.”
She returns to the living room, goes to the record player, selects Sinatra’s
“Summer Wind” and sinks back into the recliner. Her cell rings.

INTERCUT:

INT. GERARD LEBLANC’S RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Gerard calls from his home.

GERARD

Jesi?

JESI

Yes.

GERARD

Jesi, it’s Gerard. Thought I’d call, see how you’re doing.

JESI

Your orchids just arrived and they’re beautiful. You’ve done it again, gone way
beyond the call of duty. Are you still at the hospital?

A CHILD’S VOICE calls out O.S. It belongs to Gerard’s seven tear old son, JULIAN.

JULIAN (O.S.)

Dad, come to my room!

JESI

I’m sorry. You have company?

GERARD

No! No company.

JESI

I still haven’t scattered his ashes.

(Starts to cry, stops herself)

Is this about the bill?

GERARD

No, patient billing is not my department – but if you’d like to meet, talk about it.
In fact I’d like you to visit my home.

JESI

Thank you doctor, I mean Gerard, but I’m not up for anything social right now.

Jesi panics, hangs up, but then regrets it and cries alone.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rewrite – Day #10 – Rae’s Meaningful Action

What I learned from this assignment is – no scene is ever a wrap – there is always
more to go.

Jesi arrives home tired and dejected. Jackson pumps up her spirits with the usual
upbeat conversation, throws in Sinatra to boot. But tonight, Jesi is not so
receptive, brings up hidden agenda, focused mainly around her dysfunctional
relationship with her deceased mother.

ADDED: Mother daughter flashback/ father daughter dialogue

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

A record player blasts Sinatra’s “Summer Wind.”

JACKSON

Hey baby, how was your first day? Want me to turn this thing down?

JESI
No Dad, it’s all good.

JACKSON

This was one of your Mum and my favorites —

JESI

I know Dad.

JACKSON

You’ve heard it a few times, eh?

JESI

Would you believe a few hundred?

JACKSON

Can’t help it. Sinatra is how we met.

(gets serious)

I know she was far from perfect.

JESI

Very far. I know you love that story Dad. So do I – but not tonight.

JACKSON

Are you okay?

JESI

Sure. How was your day? Did you work on Harold’s building? I’ll get you a beer,
Daddy.

She leaves, returns with a beer, wine for herself.

JACKSON

Did that manager give you a lead today?

JESI

Nah, but it’s only day seven.

JACKSON

I thought he said leads were a given.

JESI

He lied. His leads get fast tracked to top producers only.

Sinatra sings, “Come Fly with Me.”
Jesi sips wine, dances.

JACKSON

You know, this song is why I left Ohio. Why your Mom left Virginia. Only for us to
meet in London.

JESI

I know Dad. It’s a lovely story. Wish Mom and I had been that close.

JACKSON

She loved you, just couldn’t show it.

JESI

(dancing)

Dad, how many apartment buildings do you service? Is there a list?

JACKSON

Hell, I dunno. Twenty some. There’s a roster somewhere but they’re mostly in
my head.

JESI

Can you get me those names and numbers?

JACKSON

What the hell for?

JESI

They’re about to be my new client base.

JACKSON

Sweetie, those dudes have all got built agents who always get those listings.

JESI

Not always. It’s worth a try.

JACKSON

Okay baby, I’ll work on it tomorrow. See if I can’t find you a sucker or two.

(gets thoughtful)

Sweetheart, once this cast comes off you need a life of your own. It’s time you
bought a house, had your own space. Time you met a good man, had babies.

JESI

No Dad, no babies. Mom’s absentee mothering cured me of that.

JACKSON

Baby, she had no control over it.

FLASHBACK:

JOHNSON HOME/ CHILD’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

AMY JOHNSON (30), sits on the front steps drinking Vodka from a bottle,
oblivious to her child’s screams.

END FLASHBACK:

BACK ON JACKSON AND JESI:

JACKSON

It’s five years since she passed. I’ve kept you here long enough.

JESI

Dad, you are so worth it. I’ve loved every minute. I’m even liking Frank Sinatra.

(flops onto the floor)

The truth is I ‘m petrified of all those high-powered salesmen. Afraid I don’t have
what it takes.

JACKSON

Fake it ‘till you make it girl. Hell, you’re my daughter.

JESI

It’s my problem we’re joined at the hip, Dad, not yours. I’m nothing without you.

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU Rewrite – Day 8

Assignment
Rae’s Elevated Story Beats:

What I learned from this assignment is SAVE YOUR WORK before posting in the
Forums! Several hours of work somehow got erased in the Forum posting. So
with all of this lost, I will be posting only a brief recap.

SELECT 3 SCENES TO IMPROVE AND TELL THE PURPOSE OF EACH SCENE YOU ARE IMPROVING.

GIVE “THE BEFORE AND AFTER” OF THE BEATS
POST THE UPDATED “BEAT SHEET” WITH THE IMPROVEMENTS MADE.

SCENE #1

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE/BATHROOM (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON (35), squats with spanner in hand, repairing a toilet. While her
contractor father JACKSON (59), shouts instructions from his recliner, his foot in
a cast.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Now, did you shut off the water?

JESI

Yes Dad.

She shakes her head in disbelief. Jesi is a natural beauty who could pull off a
runway strut just as successfully as a tomboy stunt. Motherless most of her
life, all she wants is to please her father.

JACKSON

And then you drained the tank?

JESI

Of course Dad.

JACKSON

Then you pulled the toilet off?

JESI

Yes Dad.

JACKSON

Give a yell if you need a hand to lift it back on. That’s one helluva heavy toilet.

JESI

All’s good, Daddy.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Now, see that worn wax seal under toilet bowl? Replace it with the new one
on the counter and then drop the toilet back on.

JESI

Dad, this is not my first rodeo.

Jesi resets the toilet, tightens the bolts while Jackson keeps shouting
instructions.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Now remember to tighten those bolts real good before you set the toilet back
on.

JESI

No worries, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Well if you’re gonna run my truck someday you need to know this stuff.

JESI

Got it, Dad.
(to herself)
Geez, what a mind drop.

SCENE 2:

INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT

Jesi tightens a final screw, stands, faces a full-length mirror and wipes the
sweat. She then checks the time, jumps in, takes a two minute shower. As she
steps out her cell rings.

JESI

(into phone)

Happy Birthday! I need the time and place.

(listens)

Okay, Lights on Pine St., eight o’clock – – and Gizelle, only for you!

She disconnects, slides into a tiny black dress, transforms before our eyes as
she piles on the make-up, more heavily around the eyes, twists her hair into a
high knot.

SCENE #3

INT. GAY CLUB – NIGHT

Stabbing lights. Music pulsing. Bodies dancing closely, all female. Jesi
and GIZELLE WELLS (35), a blonde who can’t help but look sexy, dance
together displaying their full on feminine.
A GAY WOMAN steps between them, tries to whisk Gizelle away in a dance.
Jesi grabs hold of her, keeps shoving her until she gets the message. She falls over
as she hurries away.

JESI

(to Gizelle)

Hey, it’s your birthday, it’s your night! You know I’m straight, right?

The two women laugh out loud and keep dancing.

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – DAY # 7 – RAE’S SCENE RATING:

What I learned this assignment is this rating system allowed me to see how an audience might view any given scene, giving me the option to view each scene through a different lens.

USE BEAT SHEET – RATE FROM E#1 to E#10

SAMPLE: 1 Quick example of beat – then rating:

OPENING: scene rating = 1

1. (E-8) JACKSON RESIDENCE – Jesi is at home with her father Jackson repairing their toilet. She completes the job with ease and expertise, showers, changes into something sexy, piles on the make-up and goes clubbing with friend Gizelle.

2. (E-8) APARTMENT BUILDING – Jackson introduces Jesi to Harold. She proceeds to crawl under his building showing off her contractor skills. Harold tells her that he is fed up with tenants and is selling the building.

3. (E-6) REAL ESTATE OFFICES (Residential and Commercial.) Jesi quits residential when cheated out of a full commission, jumps into the male dominated arena of commercial real estate knowing it will be a virtual battle. The broker’s caveat, that while working for him she remain single.

INCITING INCIDENT:

4. (E7) HOSPITAL – Dr. Gerard Leblanc comforts Jesi while her father Jackson lies in the coma. There is an obvious attraction to the other for both of them. There’s an immediate physical attraction that leads to a FANTASY SCENE where they get married.

5. (E7) HOSPITAL – When Jackson dies Jesi is devastated. Gerard tries to console her by listening to her recite the story of how her mother and father met. ** When Gerard asks Jesi certain questions about her mother she clams up. Finally, they hug for too long and they know it.

6. (E7) FANTASY SEQUENCE – Gerard goes to a window, watches Jesi leave the building, approach her car in the parking lot. The parking lot transmutes into “a field of light” where he and Jesi stand with a minister who is marrying them.

7. (E5) As the fantasy scene ends, Mrs. Mehta asks Gerard, “But, what about your boy?”

PAGE 10 – YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT

8. (E7) JASON’S OFFICE – Jesi starts grinding Jason for the buyer/seller leads he initially promised her, asks why the leads are going to Henry. Jason gives it right back, tells it is all up to her.

9. (E-6) APARTMENT ROW – Jesi goes door knocking but gets nothing. She pleads with Jason and finally gets her first buyer lead. The lead is stolen from her desk, same day. Jesi blames Henry first and then the salesmen in the bull pen.

10. (E-7) JOHNSON RESIDENCE – Jesi collapses into Jackson’s chair, turns on Sinatra. Devastated by the lack of business, mounting bills, she calls Harold, tells him she’s not getting the listings, may be forced to go back to construction. He says, “Come on over.”

11. (E-8) HAROLD’S BUILDING – DAY

Harold says come on over. Upset with all the vacancies, he tells her he’s sick of tenants, selling the building! Jesi pitches hard for the listing, but Henry steps in and steals it. The war is on!

12. (E-9) YACHT CLUB Harold feels bad, tells Jesi not to worry, he will introduce her to his “Good Old Boy Apartment Owners” at the Yacht Club. They will give her business!

FIRST TURNING POINT – END OF ACT 1 (PG. 30)

13. (E-8) MONTAGE:

Jesi goes back to her office and finds the lost buyer lead.

Next day she shows Harold’s building to her buyer JIM CARLISLE, writes an offer. She throws up, prays for Jackson’s help just before writing the offer.

Jesi gets the signed offer, slaps it on Henry’s desk, says thanks for nothing.

Gerard keeps calling, asking to see Jesi but she’s too busy with her sale.

14.(E-9) YACHT CLUB – LONG BEACH – NIGHT

To make up for Jesi’s lost listing, Harold introduces her to his “Good old boys Apartment Building Owners” a bunch of rich old men who own stacks of buildings. A lot are ready to sell and trade into others.

BOSS MULLER and JOE SCHMIDT are already in the conversation with Jesi!

15.(E-7) MEDICAL OFFICE/JESI’S OFFICE – DAY

Mrs. Mehta calls Jesi looking for a payment. Jesi insists on speaking with the doctor. Gerard won’t discuss her bill, only if Jesi will meet over coffee.

16 (E-7) COFFEE SHOP – DAY

Jesi and Gerard connect immediately. He speaks of love, marriage, children. She is just as engaged but makes it clear she does not want children. She agrees to a date the next night.

17 (E-8) INTIMATE RESTAURANT – NIGHT

A dining room with a close intimate atmosphere. Gerard jumps right in, asks Jesi to marry him. At first speechless, she finally says “yes.” Gerard’s doctor colleague, also a marriage celebrant, shows up serendipitously. Gerard asks him to marry them. They share their vows and love for each other. The minister says all they need is a license from City Hall – apart from this their vows are mutually binding.

18. (E-7) HOTEL ROOM – SAME NIGHT

After sharing the love, Jesi asks Gerard to wait on the marriage license. She has two buildings lined up to list and sell. He agrees reluctantly to two weeks, but that’s all.

MID-POINT (page 45)

19. (E-7) JESI’S OFFICE – DAY

Jesi’s too busy listing buildings to do anything else. BOSS MULLER’S 12 units. JOE SCHMIDT’S 20 units.

20. (E. 7) JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Gerard stops by with champagne, surprising Jesi, insists they go next day to City Hall. She puts on Sinatra and as they dance Jesi talks him out of it. Gerard agrees to wait. He tries to tell her about his undisclosed seven-year-old boy, but Jesi silences him with a kiss.

21. (E-8) JESI’S OFFICE – DAY

Jesi lists Boss Muller’s building. Henry accuses her of stealing his client. She lists Joe Schmidt’s next. Henry loses it, threatens he’ll expose her for the inexperienced Rookie she is! Jason tells her if she keeps this up she will be ROOKIE OF THE YEAR!

22. (E-6) JESI’S OFFICE – NIGHT

ONE MONTH LATER

Jesi’s is working twenty four/seven. Gerard keeps calling, tells her he is tired of waiting. Frustrated, he gives her an ultimatum to call when she’s ready – maybe he’ll reconsider.

23. (E-5) JESI’S OFFICE/ JASON’S OFFICE – DAY

Jesi has earned a private office, Michael her manager, Giselle her salesperson. Jason approaches Jesi; knows about her marriage to Gerard. He discloses he knows Gerard, tells Jesi has a seven year old boy – then warns her if she legalizes the marriage she will be fired. Jesi calls off the marriage.

CRISIS

24. (E-8) Montage of scenes:

Jesi is missing Gerard. The bills are mounting even more. She needs her job more than ever.

AGENT WHIPPLE with the IRS presses for a payment on Jackson’s gambling debt and property taxes that total over one thousand dollars.

Jesi is miserable, takes time out, works construction. Repairs the plumbing on the building she sold Jim Carlisle, while he is threatening to sue.

CLIMAX

24. (E-7) INT. IRS OFFICE – DAY

Joe Schmidt’s deal is falling out – the deal that will pay off Jackson’s gambling debt. Joe’s buyer has an IRS tax lien and his loan is falling through. Jesi appeals to Agent Whipple who’s taken a fatherly liking to Jesi. He gets the lien removed from public records. Jesi is ecstatic! Joe Schmidt’s deal is saved.

25. (E-7) Montage of scenes:

The medical office calls Jesi to say her medical debt has been forgiven.

Gerard shows up in the parking lot, apologizes for his mistakes, recites their wedding vows, then asks her to meet his boy.

RESOLUTION

26 (E- 6) JESI’S OFFICE – Jesi makes Michael an equal partner, admits he was right. She should marry the doctor. She also lines up a date with Michael and Joe Schmidt’s gay son.

27 (E-6) YACHT HARBOR – LONG BEACH – Finally Jesi meets seven-year-old JORDAN. They go for a sail on Gerard’s yacht.

28. (E-6) EXT. CITY HALL – Next day Jesi, Gerard and Jordan exit City Hall with a marriage license.

29. (E-6) YACHT CLUB – LOS ALIMITOS Harold and the good old boys stand on the dock, wave Jesi and Gerard goodbye as they take off for their honeymoon. Gerard sails the yacht from the harbor and heads for Catalina Island.

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE DAY #6
What I learned from this assignment:
This exercise should be done over and over to keep our characters stretching and
growing and our scenes ever changing. Great assignment.

Logline: A woman in a high-powered job marries whimsically on a first date,
knowing if her employer finds out she will get fired.

1 PROTAGONIST: JESI:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE (LONG BEACH) – DAY
JESI JOHNSON (35), repairs a toilet while her rugged contractor father JACKSON
(59), shouts instructions from his recliner, his foot in a cast.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Are you sure you shut off the water?

JESI

Dad! This is not my first toilet mend!

JACKSONS (O.S.)

You drained the tank?

JESI

Dad, we replumbed this house together, remember?

JACKSON (O.S.)

Then you pulled the toilet off?

JESI

Yes Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Now, see that worn wax seal under the toilet bowl? Replace it with the new seal
on the counter, then drop the toilet back on.

JESI

Like I said Dad, it’s all good.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Well, if you wanna run my truck you need to know this stuff.

JESI

No worries, Dad.

(to herself)

What a mind drop.

Her cell rings. She checks the screen, frees one hand to answer.

JESI

Hey. Are we still on?

INTERCUT:

GIZELLE STEELE (35), steps out of her bathtub, drapes herself in a towel, cell in
hand. She’s black, tall and lean, Jesi’s best friend.

GIZELLE

Pine Street. Eight o’clock. Be there.

JESI

In thirty minutes! Only for you, girl.

She disconnects. Jackson is still shouting.

JACKSON (O.S)

That’s one heavy toilet, girl. Don’t strain your back.

Jesi completes the reset, wiping sweat. Rips off her T-shirt, takes a two-minute
shower. Wraps herself in a towel, lays the make-up on thick, especially her eyes,
slips into something tight and black — with an end result that is dazzling.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi zips by Jackson. He lowers his Sinatra music, cautions her.

JACKSON

Be safe out there. Take your mace.

JESI

Nah. Love you Dad. Don’t wait up.

JACKSON

He’s out there somewhere! You know it.

JESI

Dad, I’m not looking for “The One” anymore. It’s Gizelle’s birthday, that’s all.
Besides, you already know YOU are my guy.

EXT. DRIVEWAY/ THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)

Jesi light a joint, takes two hits before backing out the driveway in a large utility
truck.

PROTAGONIST: GERARD:

Gerard gets praise all around for his surgical skills, exotic looks, effortless life-style he guards so protectively. The hottest bachelor in the medical group, he’s
an enigma. At forty-two he is unmarried and without children – or so he says.

New introduction:

INT. ICU /HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – NIGHT

DR GERARD LEBLANC (42) exits ICU upset. The attending NURSE rubs his shoulder
as he leaves. He runs and stops surgeon DR. JAMES SUKI (50), in the corridor.

GERARD

Surgery went well, then post-op a blood clot goes straight to his brain. This is a
fifty-nine-year-old man who lived life to the fullest. I screwed up man, big time.

JAMES

It wasn’t you, Gerard. More likely it’s heredity, or his karma.

GERARD (in disbelief)
Karma! How the fuck do I tell that to his daughter.

JAMES
Just tell her the truth, man. You’re the best surgeon I know.

Gerard SLAMS his fist into the nearest wall.

INT. ICU – DAY

Dr. Gerard Leblanc stands beside Jesi at Jackson’s bedside. Jackson has just
passed. Jesi strokes and kisses her father’s face, gently closes his eyes.

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – DAY #5

RAE’S CHARACTER STORY BEATS

PROTAGONIST:

CHARACTER PROFILE: BEGINNING, MIDDLE, END

PROTAGONIST:

Give their full story.

Do actions intertwine with the main story characters?

Is this character’s story interesting?

Tell each character’s story from their point of view:

PROTAGONIST: JESI

BEGINNING:

Jesi lives with her father Jackson because she feels safe with him. Estranged most of her life from an alcoholic mother, she was and still is her father’s daughter.

Adopting her father’s traits she works with him in construction, learns to love his music, and dabbles in residential real estate sales. All the while she would rather be pounding nails.

She’s a tomboy, also very girly, as comfortable in coveralls as in a business suit and high heels. Whatever the job, she loves to experiment with hair and make-up. But when her father Jackson dies in a freak accident and this upends her life, forcing her to choose the more lucrative arena of commercial real estate to save the family home and pay the mounting bills.

Surgeon Gerard Leblanc, consoles Jesi at her father’s bedside, comforts her after he passes, takes care of the post death details. Her hugs her at the bedside, stays a little too long. As he drops her off in at the medical office he has A VISION. He and Jesi are in a field of light, a minister marrying them. He then tells his office manager, Mrs. Mehta, Jesi is the girl he will marry. He follows up with phone calls, sending flowers.

MIDDLE

Jesi employs a foreman to run Jackson’s construction company, jumps in and works on site when she can for her own therapy. She also slams head on into commercial real estate, in a bull pen with twenty or more cut -throat male agents, Henry Wu her main competitor. He warns her not to stay away from his clients and his turf. At first meeting there’s an obvious sexual energy between them.

Motivated by the medical and IRS debt, Jesi nails three sales in a row commanding everyone’s attention.

Gerard keeps on calling. There’s chemistry on both sides but she’s too busy to even date him. Finally, she agrees to coffee, and the next night a date. Gerard asks her to marry him. She wants the same, but the fallout from her dysfunctional mother, daughter childhood rears it’s head. She says “yes” then tells him she does not want children. They marry anyway, on a first date, but have to keep it secret or Jesi will be fired.

Four months on the job Jesi gains top producer which allows her to pay off a portion of her father’s debt. But she is missing family, wants what she had for a brief time with Gerard. Until she learns from Jason, Gerard has a seven-year-old son completely undisclosed. The marriage is called off.

END

They battle back and forth. Jesi becomes miserable, finally chooses love and peace. She meets Gerard’s boy Julian and soon embraces him. Then, even though she and Gerard consider their vows a solid marriage commitment, they go to City Hall for the license to make it legal and take Julian with them.

ANTAGONIST: HENRY

BEGINNING: Henry has severed all contact with his father, when asked, says he does not have one. Real estate is Henry’s life. Apart from Haiku as a recreation, he acts superior to fellow agents, especially “the newbie” Jesi. Though attracted to her, he draws a line. He currently gets more than half of Jason’s buyer seller leads and believes he has earned them.

MIDDLE: Henry steals Harold’s listing, refuses to share it with Jesi, which ignites competition. He sincerely likes her, even has a romantic interest, but when she innocently steals his clients, he threatens to expose her as an unexperienced, rookie sales person.

END: When Jesi ends it with Gerard, Henry makes peace with her, tries romancing her, but overall Henry is too busy with his own needs and doesn’t need a woman. That is until Gizelle joins the office staff as Jesi’s new sales assistant. After their first date Henry is off running.

CONNECTING CHARACTER: HAROLD

BEGINNING: People take Harold exactly the way he is, likeable, grumpy, ruthlessly straight forward, glaringly honest. He does his best to keep the peace but don’t rub him the wrong way or you will definitely get his fury.

Jesi knows this, and when she doesn’t get the listing on Harold’s building, she waits, knowing Harold will make things right.

MIDDLE: After Jesi brings Harold the buyer for his building, Henry the listing agent, Harold makes it up her, introduces her to the “Good Old Boys,” a rather large bunch of property rich friends at The Alamitos Bay Yacht Club.” First night Jesi scores with two listing leads.

END: After his best friend Jackson dies, Harold becomes a father figure to Jesi. He sticks up for her when Henry hurls accusations that she stole his clients. He has her back; she his loyalty. He feels a sense of loss when Jesi legalizes her marriage and sje and Gerard sail away on their honeymoon to Catalina.

SUPPORTING CHARACTER FOR PROTAGONIST: GERARD

BEGINNING: Gerard is a lover, with more French in him than American. From day one he knows Jesi is the one he will marry, proves this when he marries her on their first date. But there’s a catch. She has a huge amount of debt to pay off and won’t go to City Hall for the license for fear of being fired.

MIDDLE: Gerard, a surgeon, a man of integrity, steps out of character when he withholds his seven-year-old son Julian from Jesi, for fear of losing her. When Jesi finds out about the boy from her broker Jason, she tells Gerard it’s over. Gerard is heartbroken but still pursues her.

END: Gerard knows the truth always works, apologizes for withholding his son, then removes Jesi’s medical debt from the books. He then tracks her down in the IRS parking lot and proposes again remembering his original vows. Later he shows up at her home with champagne, and the next day introduces her to Julian.

· Add here – another reasoning for the withhold – a fear from Gerard’s past.

SUPPORTING CHARACTER FOR ANTAGONIST: JASON

BEGINNING : Real estate is his life. Arrogant and obstinate, Jason runs his office with agent favoritism, and chauvinism. He won’t back down, only employs single women. but meets his match in Jesi when she threatens to expose him.

MIDDLE: He’s a tough manager/coach who has had great success with male agents but does not know how to handle the female opposite. Jesi pleads for buyer/seller leads that were initially promised to her as part of the job. Three months on the job he acquiesces and hands Jesi a buyer lead.

END: When he finds out Jesi is married he calls her on it. By now that she’s his top producer, and if he fires her he is the one who loses most. He also tells Jesi that he knows Gerard, reveals his secret, tells her about his son Julian, which has him come to Jesi’s rescue and right some of his wrongs.

[Rae Rodgers]

REWRITE – Day #4 – RAE’S CHARACTER PROFILES

What I got from this assignment was a deeper understanding of my characters and the opportunity to add and detract from their journeys.

LOGLINE: A women risks losing a high powered job when she marries on a first date knowing if her boss finds out she will get fired.

WRITE A ONE PAGE CHARACTER PROFILE ON FIVE CHARACTERS:

JESI JOHNSON:

ROLE – Main female character.

CORE CHARACTER TRAITS:

At thirty-five Jesi lives at home with her father. Self-employed, headstrong, she hates being told what to do. But loves working in construction pounding nails, her skills as good as any man.

Residential real estate is not her passion, and she has one foot out the door.

She expects to win at everything she tackles. Even though it’s a male arena, she is impatient to win at commercial real estate, have instant success in all she tackles.

SOMETHING THEY DON’T WANT TO ADMIT ABOUT THEMSELVES:

Never close to her mother, Jesi does not want children.

At thirty-five she moves in with her father, killed the only love relationship she ever had.

Jesi works side by side with Jackson in his construction company, has no intention of leaving.

A lifetime rift with her mother has destroyed any desire for motherhood. Jesi says she will never have children.

At thirty-five she’s had one boyfriend.

CHARACTER ARC (IF ANY)

After her mother dies Jesi moves in with her father, works part time in his company, Johnson Construction. Simultaneously she sells residential real estate, until her broker cheats her out of a commission. She quits and transitions to Schindler Investments, a commercial real estate company where she can make larger commissions. The broker Jason has one hard rule, he only hires single women. If she gets married she will be fired. The commercial office is ruthless, ninety percent male agents, all of them ruthless, aggressive.

Two months later Jackson dies. Devastated, Jesi has to gear up her sales to pay off the medical debt and IRS liens. She’s also inherited Johnson Construction, faced with selling the business.

Jesi meets the future love of her life, surgeon D. Gerald Gerard, at Jackson’s bedside and they instantly feel the love. Gerard pursues her, but she’ll be fired if broker Jason finds out.

Jason Wu is number one in sales, tells Jesi she will never catch him. Jesi takes him on. After three months at Shindler Investments she makes her first sale, then lists two apartment buildings. Rather than sell Johnson Construction, she employs a foreman, Mario, to run it in case she decides to return. She misses construction.

Finally, she meets up with Gerard, on their first date marries him. They keep it a secret but need to get the license. Jesi jumps head-first into sales, to pay off Jackson’s bills. Keeps putting Gerard off, but really wants to be with him.

Rivalry with Henry mounts as Jesi keeps taking his clients. She gains a private office and is the potential “Rookie of the Year.” Until Jason finds out Jesi is married! Lets it slip he knows Gerard, and he has a seven-year old boy. Hurt, confused, Jesi breaks off with Gerard, calls him a liar.

MISSION/AGENDA

Jesi is hammered with mounting debt, Jackson’s medical, also the IRS. This is all the motivation she needs

CHARACTER SUBTEXT LOGLINE

Jesi talks big but deep down is afraid she can’t compete with or even match the testosterone driven agents in the commercial office.

FLAW

Raised by an unloving mother with a domineering father her role model. Jesi doubts she’ll be a good wife, so why bother getting married. She DOES NOT want kids. She lets this sabotage all of her future relationships.

WANT/NEED

She wants love but doesn’t have time for it. Instead has to pay off her father’s debt. She wants to marry Dr. Gerard Leblanc – but keeps sabotaging herself.

WORLD VIEW

She closes three sales in a row, Jason dangling “Rookie of the year” at her. She forgets commitments, is self-focused – this is not how Jackson raised her.

LIFE METAPHOR/SECRET

After falling for and marrying Gerard maybe Jesi does want kids.

WHAT MAKES THIS CHARACTER UNIQUE

A woman creates her own success while living in a man’s world.

GERARD LEBLANC:

An accomplished surgeon, he helps Jesi transition through her father’s death.

ROLE: After first encounter, Gerard confesses Jesi is the woman he will marry.

CORE CHARACTER TRAITS

Strong, resolute, persistent.

A lover and proud Frenchman.

A loving father to his son.

A man who knows what he wants and goes after it.

He will only put up with so much before he sets boundaries.

CHARACTER SUBTEXT LOGLINE:

Gerard has an undisclosed adopted son that he withholds from Jesi their first date and after they marry, because she made it clear she does not want children.

FLAW

He’s a brain surgeon, runs a medical center, but he still cannot assert himself and tell Jesi the truth for fear of losing her.

WANT/NEED

He wants to tell the world he and Jesi are married.

MISSION/AGENDA

All he wants is to recue Jesi and make a life with her.

CHARACTER ARC (IF ANY)

He asserts himself, forgives Jesi’s debt, introduces her to his son, Jordan.

SECRETS

He hides his adopted son from Jesi, after she insists she does not want kids.

SOMETHING THEY DON’T WANT TO ADMIT

Jesi and Gerard’s love for each other transcends their collective problems.

WHAT MAKES CHARACTER UNIQUE

That a man as principled as Gerard is can lie about something so important.

WORLD VIEW

Though America and all it holds has Gerard’s loyalty, he is a Frenchman at heart.

LIFE METAPHOR/ IDENTITY

A Frenchman at heart, he lives to love.

JASON:

ROLE

A chauvinistic control freak who runs a male driven business.

CORE CHARACTER TRAITS

Cold, self-serving.

CHARACTER SUBTEXT LOGLINE

Male supremacy has worked <ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”>for him </ins>so far, until Jesi Johnson<ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”> g</ins>ets under his skin.

FLAW

His detachment to women.

WANT/NEED

He wants to run a tight shop, excluding woman, but there’s a price to pay for this.

MISSION/AGENDA

To have the most successful male dominated office.

CHARACTER ARC

Finally, he listens to Jesi and relaxes his rules.

SECRETS

He is divorced, has four daughter<ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”>s</ins>, still loves his wife.

SOMETHING THEY DON’T WANT TO ADMIT

Revenge is bittersweet. He has a soft heart after all.

WHAT MAKES HIM UNIQUE

His stubbornness and need to be right – rejecting women when he has four daughters.

WORLD VIEW

Real estate is everything.

LIFE METAPHOR/IDENTY

HE IS his real estate business.

HAROLD:

ROLE: A grumpy old guy, rich in property, but alone and without family.

CORE CHARACTER TRAITS

He sometime speaks before he thinks.

CHARACTER SUBTEXT LOGLINE

He’s<ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”>He has no family,</ins> lost his best friend, <ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”>so </ins>now <ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”>he </ins>wants to help that<ins cite=”mailto:Rae%20Rodgers”>his</ins> best friend’s daughter.

FLAW

He acts before thinking.

WANT/NEED

To be loved – wants family. Jesi is the closest he has.

MISSION/ AGENDA

To help Jesi live her dream.

CHARACTER ARC (IF ANY)

A property rich old guy who can still make a difference in another’s life, namely Jesi’s.

SECRETS THEY DON’T WANT TO ADMIT

He knew he should have stood up to Henry and said no to him.

He has a very soft heart.

He made a mistake by listing with Henry.

WHAT MAKES THEM UNIQUE

He is himself and a force to be reckoned with.

WORLD VIEW

What you sow you reap.

HENRY WOO:

CHARACTER SUBTEXT LOGLINE

Henry is cut-throat in sales, but then often retreats to write Haiku showing the soft side of his character.

FLAW He acts before he thinks it through. He accuses people wrongly, always wants to be number one.

He needs to win, and he doesn’t care who he steps on.

WANT/NEED

To be number one, although he does have a big crush on Jesi, winning comes first.

SECRETS THEY DON’T WANT TO ADMIT

He has a soft heart and cares what people think of him.

WHAT MAKES THEM UNIQUE

He is focused on what he wants, lets nothing get in his way.

MISSION/AGENDA

To make his father wrong and to prove he is number one in this business.

HOMEWORK: I WORKED THROUGH THE SCRIPT AND USED THE STEPS BELOW TO IMPROVE AND EXPAND EACH ONE OF MY CHARACTERS.

· IMPROVE ONE OR MORE ITEMS ON EACH CHARACTER PROFILE. DONE

· PLACE CHANGE AT BOTTOM OF THAT PROFILE

· TELL HOW IT IMPROVED YOUR CHARACTER AND WHAT IT MIGHT DO FOR YOUR STORY.

[Rae Rodgers]

SWU Rewrite – Day #3 – Rae’s Story Beats

What I learned doing this assignment … I accidently erased the first completed assignment! This second try is a much shorter version! However it did cement the story in my head.

Title: Married At First Sight

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Logline: A woman in a high-powered job marries a doctor on their first date, knowing if her boss finds out she will be fired.

BEATS OF THE SCRIPT:

OPENING:

INT. JACKSON RESIDENCE – DAY

Jesi (35) lives at home with her father Jackson, works in his construction company, shares his love of music, namely Sinatra, knows she’s not living to her full potential.

EXT. HAROLD’S APARTMENT BUILDING – DAY

Jesi combs through an apartment building with her father, crawls under the building, while the owner HAROLD complains about his tenants. He says he is selling the place!

INT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE – DAY

Jesi exits residential real estate when her broker cheats her out of a commission, joins commercial real estate to make more money, though she’s happier doing roof and plumbing repairs. Jason, the new broker, has one large condition. Jesi can work for him only if she remains single.

INCITING INCIDENT:

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Jackson has fallen from a roof, does not survive surgery. Surgeon Gerard LeGrand stands with Jesi at Jackson’s bedside, comforts her after he passes. There’s immediate attraction. Jesi shares about her father’s love of Frank Sinatra. They embrace too long.

FANTASY SEQUENCE

There’s a fantasy sequence. Jesi sees Gerard as her husband.

INT. MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY

Jason tells the grieving Jesi he will handle the cremation.

INT./EXT. MEDICAL BUILDING & PARKING LOT

FANTASY SEQUENCE: Gearrd watches Jesi as she searches fro her car. The parking lot is infused with light. Jesi stands there in a wedding gown, Gerard a tux. A mininister is marrying them.

IN THE MEDICAL OFFICE

Gerard tells his accounts manager, MRS MEHTA, Jesi is the girl he will marry. Mrs Mehta asks him. “But what about your boy?”

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Flowers arrive at the front door for Jesi. They are from Gerard. She goes inside, plays Sinatra and cries her heart out.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi is left alone with her grief, also a mountain of debt, both medical and unpaid taxes with the IRS. She has to get to work, earn big money money.

BY PAGE 10 YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT

INT. SCHINDLER INVESTMENTS – DAY

Jesi is hounding Jason for buyer seller leads but they are still funneled to Henry. Jesi complains but nothing changes.

EXT. APARTMENT ROW – LONG BEACH (DAY)

Jesi knocks on apartment doors daily, still not one lead. She finally pleads with Jason, then finally loses it. He gives in and hands her a BUYER LEAD.

Same day, Jesi looses the BUYER LEAD, accuses Henry, and then the MALE AGENTS of stealing it.

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Jesi collapses in Jackson’s chair, turns on Sinatra. Devastated by the lack of business, the mounting bills, she calls Harold. Tells him she’s forced to go back to construction. Says she can’t do anything right now her Dad is gone!

INT. HAROLD’S BUILDING – DAY

Harold says come on over. Upset with all the vacancies, he tells her he’s sick of tenants, selling the building! Jesi pitches hard for the listing, but Henry steps in and steals it. The war is on!

Harold feels bad, tells Jesi not to worry, he will introduce her to his “Good Old Boy Apartment Owners” at the Yacht Club. They will give her business!

FIRST TURNING POINT – END OF ACT 1 (PG. 30)

Montage of scenes:

Jesi goes back to her office and finds the lost buyer lead.

Next day she shows Harold’s building to her buyer JIM CARLISLE, writes an offer. She throws up, prays for Jackson’s help just before writing the offer.

Jesi gets the signed offer, slaps it on Henry’s desk, says thanks for nothing.

Gerard keeps calling, asking to see Jesi but she’s too busy with her sale.

INT. YACHT CLUB – LONG BEACH – NIGHT

To make up for Jesi’s lost listing, Harold introduces her to his “Good old boys Apartment Building Owners” a bunch of rich old men who own stacks of buildings. A lot are ready to sell and trade into others.

BOSS MULLER and JOE SCHMIDT are already in the conversation with Jesi!

INT. JESI’S OFFICE – DAY

Mrs. Mehta calls Jesi looking for a payment. Jesi insists on speaking with the doctor. Gerard won’t discuss her bill, only if Jesi will meet over coffee.

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

Jesi and Gerard connect immediately. He speaks of love, marriage, children. She is just as engaged but makes it clear she does not want children. She agrees to a date the next night.

INT./EXT. The couple dines in an intimate restaurant. Gerard jumps right in and asks her to marry him. She’s speechless, but then says “Yes.”

Gerard’s doctor colleague who is also a marriage celebrant arrives serendipitously and Geard asks him to marry them. They share their vows, their love for each other and the minister says all they need is the license from City Hall – apart from this their vows are binding.

INT. HOTEL ROOM – LATER

After sharing their love Jesi asks Gerard to wait on the marriage license. She has two buildings to list and sell. He agrees reluctantly to two weeks.

MID-POINT (page 45)

INT. JESI’S OFFICE – DAY

Jesi is too busy listing buildings. First BOSS MULLER’S 12 units. The JOE SCHMIDT’S.

INT./EXT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Gerard surprises Jesi, stops by with champagne. He insists they go next day to City Hall. She puts on Sinatra and as they dance Jesi talks him out of it. Gerard says he will wait. He tries to tell her about his boy, but Jesi silences him with a kiss.

INT. JESI’S OFFICE – DAY

Jesi lists Boss Muller’s building and Henry accuses her of stealing his client. She lists Joe Schmidt’s next. Henry loses it, screams he will expose her for the inexperienced Rookie she is! Jason is thrilled, tells her if she keeps this up she will be Rookie of the YEAR!

ONE MONTH LATER Gerard keeps calling, tells Jesi he is tired of waiting and gives her an ultimatum to call him when she’s ready.

INT. JESI’S OFFICE/ JASON’S OFFICE – DAY

Jesi now has a private office. Michael is her office manager and Giselle her sales person. Jason asks Jesi for a meeting. He knows about her marriage to Gerard, in fact he also knows Gerard. He tells Jesi that his daughter baby sits Gerard’s seven year old boy! He says if she consummates the marriage with a license she is fired. Jesi screams this is illegal! She then calls off the marriage.

CRISIS

Montage of scenes:

Jesi is missing Gerard, but the bills are mounting even more, she needs her job.

AGENT WHIPPLE with the IRS is pressing Jesi for a payment on Jackson’s gambling debt and past due property taxes . They total over one thousand dollars.

Jesi is miserable, takes some time out and works construction. Repairs the plumbing on the building she sold Jim Carlisle, while he is threatening to sue.

CLIMAX

INT. IRS OFFICE – DAY

Joe Schmidt’s deal is falling out. The deal that will pay off Jackson’s gambling debt. Joe’s buyer has an IRS tax lien which prevents him from getting a loan. Jesi appeals to Agent Whipple. He has taken a liking to Jesi, a fatherly one. He gets the lien removed from public records. Jesi is ecstatic! Joe Schmidt’s deal is saved.

Montage of scenes:

Jesi gets a call from the medical office as she leaves the IRS. Her medical debt has been forgiven.

Gerard shows up in the parking lot and apologizes for his mistakes, asks her to marry him again. He then asks her to meet his boy.

RESOLUTION

INT. JESI’S OFFICE

Jesi asks Michael to be her equal partner, says he was right about the doctor. She will be marrying him. She’s also lined up a date for Michael, Joe Schmidt’s hot looking son.

EXT. YACHT HARBOR – LONG BEACH

Jesi meets seven-year-old JORDAN and they go for a sail on Gerard’s yacht.

EXT. CITY HALL – DAY

Next day Jesi, Gerard and Jordan leave City Hall with a marriage license.

EXT. YACHT CLUB – LOS ALIMITOS (DAY)

Harold and the good old boys stand on the dock waving Jesi and Gerard goodbye. As they take off for their honeymoon, Gerard sails the yacht from the harbor and heads for Catalina Island.

[Rae Rodgers]

MSC DAY #2 – RAE’S BASIC STRUCTURE – VERSION 1

What I learned is, this process has allowed me to connect more deeply with my story and to be more intimate with my characters.

1. OPENING:

JESI JOHNSON is definitely her father Jackson’s daughter, honing his construction skills, sharing his love of music, and obsession with Frank Sinatra. For her he walks on water. At thirty-seven she still lives with him and she also dabbles in real estate. But when he falls off a roof this all changes. She’s on her own, forced to live her life, be her own person.

1: INCITING INCIDENT:

JACKSON does not survive the brain surgery. Jesi stands at Her father’s bedside with surgeon DR GERARD LEBLANC. As he listens to her story about her father’s love affair with Frank Sinatra’s music, he gives her a hug that goes way beyond sympathy. Their connective energy is palpable. Jesi goes right to a fantasy world where she sees herself marrying the doctor. Moments later Gerard has a similar fantasy. Afterwards, as they move on with their lives, Gerald can’t forget her, starts besieging her with notes and flowers.

3. BY P. 10 YOU KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE’S ABOUT

Jackson’s medical bills are piling up and the IRS is looking for back taxes, forcing Jesi to step up her career. She jumps into the male dominated field of commercial real estate knowing it’s a back-stabbing minefield with the broker JASON requiring she remain single. She forms a love, hate connection with top agent HENRY WOO who is about to list Jesi’s family friend HAROLD’S apartment building. Gerard keeps on calling but real estate has to take priority.

4. FIRST TURNING POINT- END OF ACT 1 ( PAGE 30 )

Jesi hands over the construction business to her father’s forman, MARIO and is working at real estate twenty-four seven. Gerard is still sending flowers, asking her out. The hospital’s billing department becomes aggressive with Jackson’s medical debt so finally Jesi agrees to meet Gerard at a coffee shop. He blurts out his love for her and she agrees to a date the next evening. Soon after meeting at the restaurant Gerard proposes. Jesi answers “yes” then adds, “but no children. I don’t have that chip.” Serendipitously Gerard’s friend, a doctor and wedding celebrant, enters the restaurant. After a few words, agrees to marry the couple on the spot. He tells them their vows are binding, and they must get a marriage license. Afterwards, in a hotel room the couple consummate the marriage, but she confides that now that her father has gone it’s time for her to shine. Her devotion to her Dad was holding her back. Jesi is already asking Gerard to hold off on the license for the sake of her job.

5. MID POINT ( page 45 )

Jesi still struggles in sales. Her broker Jason is still channeling all buyer and seller leads to her rival, Henry Woo. She asks family friend HAROLD for his help. Harold hears her but he has committed to list his building with Henry who gets the listing next day. Jesi nails Jason for the absence of listings and sales leads and he finally hands her a solid buyer lead. She sells this new buyer Harold’s building, then lists more two buildings owned by Harold’s good old boys. Henry says he was promised these listings and declares Jesi stole his clients! Also, Gerard is sick of waiting to announce their marriage.

6. SECOND CRISIS TURNING POINT (End of Act 2) Pg. 60

Jesi makes three sales, gains top producer of the month. She hires office agent, nice guy MICHAEL as her assistant. He becomes her besty, listens to sob stories about Henry, Jason, Gerard. He tells her she is crazy; she should marry the Doctor. Jason hears about Jesi’s marriage, says he knows Gerard. Tells her Gerard has a seven-year- old boy that his daughter baby sits. He says if she consummates the union with a marriage license she must find another office. Jesi calls off the marriage.

7. CRISIS

Jesi needs her job. The IRS and the State of Calif. are pressing for past due taxes, her father’s gambling debt and property taxes in areas. Gerard visits her office to plead his case about his boy and she has a meltdown. She shuts him out again and now feels truly alone. She puts Michael in charge of sales and all of the buyer and seller problems and goes back to Johnson Construction, her father’s business, tries losing herself in the work, doing plumbing. Meanwhile two of her deals, with nasty sellers, are falling apart.

8. CLIMAX

Jesi works out a payment plan with the IRS and the hospital’s billing department, but she is missing her father, and desperately missing Gerard. He’s trying to it make up to her, asks her to meet his boy, but she sabotages herself with her stubbornness, still holding out.

9. RESOLUTION

After serious calls from Gerard and much reflection Jesi gets her priorities straight and meets his boy. That’s all it takes for her to agree to hand her sales and closings over to her new real estate partner, Michael. Jason does not want to lose his “Rookie of the Year” and top producer and so he relaxes his “No married female agent rule.” The next stop for Gerard and Jesi is City Hall for the license.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae Rodgers – Logline & One Page

What I got from this assignment is a new enthusiasm to rewrite an A-lister script!

Logline: A woman marries during a first date knowing if her employer finds out she will be fired from her high-profile job.

One Page:

JESI JOHNSON’S father dies leaving a pile of IRS and medical debt in his wake, forcing Jesi to step up her highly competitive commercial real estate career, a field dominated by aggressive men, HENRY WU her main competitor. The IRS demands become oppressive, with ultimatums, forcing Jesi to adopt the cut-throat strategies of her male competitors.

Jesi’s father’s doctor, GERARD LEBLANC, falls hard for Jesi, asks her out, and during their first date proposes. Jesi says yes! At the same time they bump into Gerard’s friend, a minister who marries them on the spot, right there in the restaurant. He tells them their vows are binding but they still need a marriage license. Gerard pushes to go to City Hall next day but Jesi convinces him to wait until she cements her two deals. Her business takes off with the help of a family friend, Harold. She sells an apartment building, lists twelve units. Jesi’s broker JASON insists she remain single, refuses to employ married women because they prioritize motherhood. Gerard agrees to keep the marriage quiet for two months, that’s all, when he wants to tell the world. Meanwhile the IRS and medical accounts manager are pressing in on Jesi.

Jesi and top agent Henry put two deals together, form a love, hate relationship. He asks her out. She wards him off. But when two of Henry’s clients give Jesi their business, he paints her as a rookie who does not know what she’s doing. Gerard pushes Jesi to get the marriage license but instead she lists two new buildings. He gives an ultimatum that she ignores, and so he walks away. But Gerard also has a with-hold – he’s the father of a seven year old boy. Jesi works out a payment plan with the IRS, the medical office still pressing. Gerard loses resolve, calls on Jesi. They profess their love, make a plan to go to City Hall for a license no matter what. Jason learns of Jesi’s marriage and confronts her, but she’s now his top agent and he does not want to lose her. He lets it slip he knows Gerard, tells Jesi Gerard has a boy. The couple’s marriage license plans blow up.

Finally Jesi gets her priorities straight, agrees to meet Gerard’s boy, then hands her closings over to new partner, MICHAEL. The next stop is City Hall, before she and Gerard sail away on his yacht to honeymoon in Catalina.

[Rae Rodgers]

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[Rae Rodgers]

I agree to all of the terms and agreements in Screenwritingu’s Confidentiality Agreement form.

Rae Rodgers

[Rae Rodgers]

Hi everyone! My name is Rae Rodgers and I have written ten or more scripts – truth is I have lost track 🙂 Five of these scripts were written in Screenwritingu classes. I also greatly improved a former script, titled “Outcast” in Screenwriting’s Re-write class two years ago. This is an Australian Aboriginal story.

My most current script is a Rom-Com, “Married at First Sight” that was written recently in Hal’s “Write a Script in 30 Days” class. A follow up re-write is definitely needed before I put this script out to market, and this is the purpose of this class for me. My intension will be to market this script thirty days after I finish this class.

An unusual event: My trip to East Arnhem Land, Australia to attend the “Garma Festival of Traditional Cultures” considered Australia’s leading indigenous led cultural exchange event. There, I camped out mostly with film makers and indigenous people (as well as snakes!) during five days of forums, but mostly watching the Yolongu clans of Arnhem Land do their indigenous dances.

I wish you all great success in this coming class.

Rae

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – #27

Rae’s solved scene problems:

What I learned this assignment is… I have written some pretty good scenes, with challenging characters and pretty good structure. But “pretty good” isn’t good enough, and so scene by scene I am making more improvements.

Added and improved scenes:

1. Inciting Incident: Jesi fires her residential broker after he complains that her clients are a law suit waiting to happen and withholds her commission – fifty percent of it! She quits, joins a commercial real estate office, convinced that she will make a whole lot more money.

I have also added more twists to these three to four opening scenes.

2. Jesi and Henry have chemistry, however, Jesi’s in love with her deceased father’s attending doctor, Gerard Leblanc.

The main antagonist, Henry, is a competitive commercial agent in Jesi’s new brokerage company. The competition between he and Jesi is intense. They balance this out somewhat with a mutual love of Haiku – write poetry together. But when Jesi sees her true love Gerard embracing another woman they have an emotional fall-out. Henry is right there romancing Jesi, and this puts her love for Gerard through a difficult test.

3. New added scene: Jesi agrees to go to dinner at Henry’s house. The drinks, food, atmosphere and Haiku are so perfect, Jesi is put to a test.

4. Gerard and Jesi exchange marriage vows, but he withholds that he has a seven-year-old adopted son Julian. Jesi finds out in a conversation with Jason, her office broker. She calls Gerard on the lie, and then removes herself from the relationship.

5. New added scene: Gerard’s office manager, Mrs. Mehta, is Julian’s real birth grandmother. She is also the thorn in Jesi’s side – pushing for payment of her father’s medical debt. She is also Jealous of Jesi and Gerard’s relationship.

There is more…

[Rae Rodgers]

30 Day Script – Day #26

Rae’s Solved Character Problems

What I learned from this assignment. I got to finally write the last scene that was hanging out in my head but not yet realized. It was also great to go back and round out some of the characters. But I am still at 80 pages and that seems a little short. So, I will be continuing with these noted character changes.

Character changes:

Jesi (protagonist) makes a new and unlikely friendship. He is Agent Whipple at the IRS. He helps her out of a jamb and she starts seeing him through different eyes – more like a father figure.

Joe Schmidt (antagonist) ends up being more of a pain in the arse – although he keeps on handing Jesi new business.

Michael is Jesi’s gay sales assistant and agent, so busy taking care of Jesi’s business he has no life of his own. He starts to feel unappreciated. I also need to find him a new lover.

Jesi gets “Rookie of the Year” and she is embraced by the guys in the bull pen, plus her manager Jason becomes her new best friend. She is moved to a corporate office, just like Henry’s.

Jesi has one last fling with Henry and then immediately regrets it.

Gerard spies on Jesi, sees her with Henry and calls her on it. They are about to part ways, forever.

I think I still need to round out Michael with a gay partner, and Gizelle will end up with Henry.

Henry Woo – antagonist – I still need to smooth him out, make him more dislikeable.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 Day Script – #25

Rae’s solved structural problems

What I got from this assignment was – I spent far too much time reading the entire script again. After this I checked the structure and it looked pretty tight.

I used my beats which helped somewhat – still very time consuming.

Act 1 through Act 3 were tightened up and now seem to be in good shape. Act 4 still needs work, plus a good ending with a few twist thrown in. This is what I am currently working on.

I am concerned that I am still a few days away from exchanging my script – I hope there will still be someone out there??

[Rae Rodgers]

30 day script – #24

Rae’s Filled in Missing Scenes

What I got from this assignment is – lots of reworking, hours and hours of rewrite – so much I can’t imagine there is much more to do – but of course there is! I found myself editing again and again and had to stop myself – actually spent hours on this. But I did successfully achieve some of this assignment.

1. I created place holders for missing scenes.

2. I did a quick outline for missing scenes.

3. Write a high speed draft for missing scenes – still working on this. There is a lot more to go.

4. I added and deleted scenes. I mostly added real estate scenes that created more tension and dramatized my heroine’s journey. I still have a lot of work to do on the final scenes – where Jesi discovers the doctor has a seven year old son. There needs to be a scene where Jesi meets the boy. Also, a final scene where Jesi and Gerald sail away to Catalina for a honeymoon… and maybe take the boy along?

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s Act 4 Resolution

What I learned doing this assignment is that miracles happen! What looked impossible ten days ago is now an 80 page first draft. It’s amazing! I expect to have a more crafted script as I continue with the final assignments. Thank you Hal & Cheryl!

ACT #4: RESOLUTION – WRAP IT UP AND SHOW US THE NEW NORMAL

EXT. IRS BUILDING/ THE STREET (LOS ANGELES)

Jesi’s cell sounds as she leaves the building. There’s a text.

TEXT

Miss Johnson, please call DR. Leblanc’s office at your earliest. Your medical debt has been forgiven. Consider it paid in full.

POV

She looks up, sees Gerard is heading right for her. She freezes.

GERARD LEBLANC

I stopped by your office first. Michael told me you were here.

Jesi keeps walking. He follows then suddenly jumps in front of her. She slams right into his chest. He wastes no time. His eyes soften as he speaks.

GERALD LEBLANC

From this day on, you have all of me. My entire life, I have never been as certain of anything. Jesi, will you be my wife?

He kisses her without consent. She resists, but then falls completely into their kiss.

She starts crying. He leads her to a bench in a small grassy area by the building.

JESI

I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. Jason just told me you are an exceptional father, but I still don’t understand — why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been married? Why didn’t you tell me about your wife?

GERARD LEBLANC

First of all, my boy’s mother is dead. She was my patient. I delivered her baby, Julian, and then she died of cancer one year later, having kept it hidden it from everyone. Somehow I was fortunate enough to adopt her baby, and what a privilege. The boy has been the blessing of my life.

(takes her hand)

That is, until you came along. My niece, the one you saw me kissing, lives close by and has been my built in baby sitter while studying for her doctorate. But all of this is soon to end.

(with enthusiasm)

I didn’t tell you for fear I would lose you. But we can get live in help to be with Julian, drive him to school when I’m unable. None of this needs to effect my life with you. That is, if you will still have me.

JESI

But there was a lie. A huge lie. Oh my God, will you just give me some time to process this.

GERALD LEBLANC

(disappointed)

Yes, of course I will. And my boy — would you like to meet him?

JESI

Yes, that I would like that — but can we do it next week? You have no idea, the scope of the mess I still have to clean up. Every one of my escrows are a mess. All of my sellers are threatening to cancel. And as you can see I’m also running the Johnson Construction truck.

(points to her coveralls)

Look at me. I’ve been clearing drains, crawling under buildings.

GERARD LEBLANC

(grins)

I didn’t notice.

JESI

Ger, I’m sorry, I really have to go.

GERARD LEBLANC

When can I see you? And when can you meet my boy?

JESI

(calls back)

Give me one week. And Ger, I just heard from your billing office.

She can’t help herself, has to run back and plant a kiss on his cheek. She then takes off running, Gerard shouting after her.

GERARD LEBLANC

I did it for one reason, and one reason only! Because I love you!

INT. OFFICE (DAY)

Jesi is at her desk, in a conversation with Joe Schmidt. Michael’s listening in, giving her prompts.

JESI

(into phone)

Okay Joe, first off, I went to the Natural Resources Agency to get the full scoop on future ocean rise along the California coast. It’s not nearly as bad as I expected. So, I took the buyer to the Agency next day, and can you believe it, he got all of his questions answered. He’s agreed to move ahead with the purchase.

Michael gives Jesi a big thumbs up.

JOE (O.S.)

Are you sure he’s not gonna sue me?

JESI

He can’t. He did his due diligence, checked out all future potential downside.

JOE SCHMIDT

I’m not sure I really like this Dude. He’s trouble. Why don’t you let me think about it.

JESI

All right Joe. Fine with me. Just let me know by tomorrow.

She ends the call, throws her head into her hands.

JESI

Damn, and I thought residential sales was difficult.

The minute she disconnects Michael is yelling, over the top. Gizelle is shuffling through the file.

MICHAEL

Escrow called. Manhattan Beach just closed! Wow, thirty units just bit the dust. Commission checks in two days!

JESI

Thanks guys, now I can breathe again. Though, most of it will go to the IRS.

EXT. JOHNSON HOME (EVENING)

Jesi arrives home, finds Gerard waiting on the doorstep.

GERARD LEBLANC

I couldn’t wait.

He pops the cork on a bottle of champagne. Pulls two glasses from his coat pocket. Walks her to the outside patio. She sits while he pours.

JESI

Wait a minute!

She jumps up, runs into the home and turns on Sinatra. The song, “ You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me.”

She returns and sits down on his lap and kisses him. She pulls back with a smile.

JESI

The answer again is “Yes.”

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s Act 4 First Scenes

What I got from this assignment is this script is turning into a movie, and I can’t wait to come up with the next few acts. Except, I ‘m out of town tonight for 2 days, so I will be lagging behind a little.

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING/ THE STREET (LONG BEACH) – DAY

Jesi drives the street looking for parking. She sees Gerard leaving through the glass doors, his arm around a pretty blonde WOMAN (25). He kisses her on the cheek, then looks over and locks eyes with Jesi. She takes off, Gerard running after her, until it’s no use.

IN THE STREET

Still running hard, Gerard drops his phone. It crashes on the pavement, completely broken.

INT. JOHNSON HOME (DAY)

Jesi had crashed and burned on her father’s recliner. After awhile she gets up, turns on Sinatra. The song is, “How Little it Matters.”

ACT 4: KEY SCENE 1: REACTION TO 3RD ACT TURNING POINT

INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING

Jesi wakes up in bed, turns off the alarm, reaches for her cell phone, hits Gerard’s number. She gets a voice message.

JESI

So, I catch you in the street two days ago kissing another woman and you still haven’t even called me back? We need to talk, Ger.

She stays in bed, squashes a pillow over her head.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi gets up one hour later, calls Gerard’s office, gets his STAFF PERSON.

JESI

May I speak with Doctor Leblanc?

(listens)

Would you ask him to call Jesi as soon as he’s out of surgery?

OFFICE MANAGER (O.S.)

The doctor started surgery at 5 a.m. I’m unsure as to when he will be returning his calls.

JESI

I understand he starts surgery early. Would you please ask him to call Jesi?

OFFICE MANAGER

Jesi Johnson? This is the office manager Miss Parker here. Miss Johnson, I was about to call you regarding a payment on your father’s bill —

JESI

Miss Parker, I fully realize I’m behind, and need to send a payment. I’m sorry, I should’ve called and given you a heads up. I’m closing a very large sale next week, which will allow me to make a considerable payment on that debt.

Now, please don’t forget to have the doctor call me.

OFFICE MANAGER

She kills the call, more upset, makes another call.

JESI

Hey Michael, any fires to put out?

(listens)

I can’t stay home, I feel like a fish out of water.

(listens)

How’s the doctor? The doctor is still an asshole.

(listens)

I’ll come in mid-morning.

INT. PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY

Jesi enters, sees Gizelle is thrown together, like she had a late night.

JESI

What the hell happened to you?

GIZELLE

Me? Don’t know what you mean?

JESI

Look at you, nothing matches. You look like you’ve been up all night. Who was it? Not him!

POV

Jesi glances to Henry’s office. He’s arriving late, looks disheveled.

JESI

Oh my God, you two got together.

(off her nod)

Wow, he didn’t waste much time.

Michael enters, hears Jesi’s comment. All Gizelle can do is smile.

MICHAEL

(to Gizelle)

You and Henry?

(off her nod)

All right. Good for you, babe.

Jesi looks upset, like another of her options has been stymied. Jason knocks, pops his head inside the office.

JASON

Hey Jesi, can I see you in my office for a minute?

JESI

Sure, give me a few minutes.

(to Gizelle, forces a smile)

Did you spend the night?

GIZELLE

(grins)

Yeah, I’m completely exhausted.

JESI

(forced smile)

I told you, he’s hot. Hey guys, we’ve got a busy day, but first I need to have a word with Jason.

(leaving)

If Gerard happens to call, pull me out of the meeting — no matter what.

INT. JASON’S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS)

Jesi knocks and enters, sits down tentatively.

JASON

Well, is it true? That you’re now Mrs. Gerald Leblanc?

JESI

Where did you hear this?

JASON

News travels. Look Jesi, I can’t hold one standard for you and then be hard core on the others. For instance, Suze is doing deals now that her license came through, but our deal is, she is definitely staying single.

JESI

You can’t do this. It’s misogny, it’s full on “Me Too!” Besides, it’s freaking mediaeval and it’s against the law. What do you want me to do Jason, get an attorney? You know that’s not my style. Of course I’m not going to report you, but you know damn well I could go to the DRE with this, and you would lose your license, hands down.

(tears start)

Well anyway, it’s over. We are no longer married, and it wasn’t legal anyway. How the hell did you find out?

JASON

It can’t be over? He still loves you.

JESI

How the hell would you know?

JASON

He just called and told me so.

JESI

But, you don’t even know him!

JASON

Yeah, I do. My fifteen year old daughter Sara, babysits his kid.

JESI

His what! That’s insane. He has no kids.

JASON

Last time I checked he had a seven year old. His name’s Joey, great kid.

JESI

He lied to me.

JASON

You mean, he never told you he has a kid?

JESI

Oh my God — why would he withhold his boy from me? Why would he lie about something that damn important? I need some time Jason. I need time to sort things out. Right now I’m beyond busy, but it’s mainly escrow closings. I can delegate most of it to Michael.

JASON

Wait. Are you saying that you’re not really married? I’m confused.

JESI

There was a ceremony, that’s all.

JASON

If it’s a marriage, there usaully is. What did you say to each other in that ceremony?

JESI

Nothing. It meant nothing.

JASON

Last time I checked, the marriage vow means everything. Tell me if I’m overstepping.

JESI

All right — I said —

(takes a long beat)

Gerard, we’ve only been together three times, but I couldn’t be more sure of my love for you. I know now, that I have never loved before. You have my trust, my loyalty, my heart. You are my love, like no one has or ever will be.

The room goes quiet.

JASON

And he said?

JESI

He said — I knew the first day we met, right after your Sinatra story. I was certain beyond words that you were the woman I would marry. Jesi, my heart is yours, tonight I give you all of me. Everything I have, from this day on, tomorrow, and forever. My entire life, I have never been as certain of anything. Jesi, will you be my wife?

The room goes quiet. The verse is still in her head.

JESI

I guess I had the vows memorized, and didn’t realize it.

JASON

My friend, right there is your answer.

JESI

No, it’s not! Why would I marry such a liar?

JASON

Then let me call him, find out more about this kid of his.

JESI

Jason no, it’s not your problem.

She leaves and rips back to her private office, grabs her purse, has one foot out the door. Calls out to Gizelle.

JESI

If any of my good old boys call or need anything tell them I’m on a sabbatical. On second thought, better not. I’ll be at home, need some down time.

As she leaves Michael slip streams her down the hallway.

MICHAEL

Wait a minute, you’re not getting off that easy. What’s going on with the Doc?

JESI

He has a son! It’s for real. Jason just told me —

MICHAEL

How the hell would Jason know? All he lives for is real estate.

JESI

Ger called me and confessed he had a kid. That girl I saw him kissing was his niece. He wants me to meet his boy —

MICHAEL

Then do it! Go meet his son. I’m telling you, the doc is a good dude.

JESI

It’s the withhold I have a problem with. This was no small thing — I can’t do it, Michael.

She leaves and shoots for the exit.

KEY SCENE 2: PROTAGONIST FACES THEIR DILEMMA

EXT./INT. JOHNSON HOME – DAY

Jesi picks up the phone to IRS gent, ALBERT BOSS.

ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

Is this Miss Johnson?

JESI

Yes, who is this?

AGENT

This is Albert Boss, Internal Revenue Service.

JESI

Oh God, no.

ALBERT BOSS

I have that number for you, Miss Johnson.

JESI

Are you guys negotiable, at all?

ALBERT BOSS

You’ll need to make an appointment to find out, Miss Johnson.

JESI

Then let’s set it up for next week. Preferably after 1pm.

INTERCUT:

INT. GERARD’S RESIDENCE (CONTINUOUS)

Gerard adds Jesi’s number to his new cell phone and calls.

When he calls, his phone translates as an unknown caller and so Jesi kills his call.

ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

Then let’s say next Thursday, 1 pm.

Gerard texts Jesi next.

TEXT

Jesi, it’s me Gerard. It’s a new phone, please call me.

Jesi gapes at the text. Takes a minute, breathes, then punches the number.

GERARD LEBLANC

Jess, babe, please don’t hang up on me. I smashed my phone right after I saw you in the street.

JESI

Oh, you mean with the new girlfriend?

GERRARD

Jes, please can I see you. That was my niece yesterday.

JESI

Oh really. You want me to believe that? What about your son?

GERRARD

That was my mistake, and I deeply regret it. My boy is a gift, a treasure, and I want you to meet him.

JESI

You want me to meet your son —

She disconnects from the call. Gerard calls right back. So does Michael.

JESI

Michael, anything wrong?

MICHAEL

Hey boss, I think you’d better come back in. The Schmidt deal in The Shores just fell out.

Still running, Gerard drops his phone. It crashes into the street, completely broken.

INT. JOHNSON HOME (DAY)

Jesi had crashed and burned on her father’s recliner. After awhile she gets up, turns on Sinatra. The song is, “How Little it Matters.”

ACT 4: KEY SCENE 1: REACTION TO 3RD ACT TURNING POINT

INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING

Jesi wakes up in bed, turns off the alarm, reaches for her cell phone, hits Gerard’s number. She gets a voice message.

JESI

So, I catch you in the street two days ago kissing another woman and you still haven’t even called me back? We need to talk, Ger.

She stays in bed, squashes a pillow over her head.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi gets up one hour later, calls Gerard’s office, gets his STAFF PERSON.

JESI

May I speak with Doctor Leblanc?

(listens)

Would you ask him to call Jesi as soon as he’s out of surgery?

OFFICE MANAGER (O.S.)

The doctor started surgery at 5 a.m. I’m unsure as to when he will be returning his calls.

JESI

I understand he starts surgery early. Would you please ask him to call Jesi?

OFFICE MANAGER

Jesi Johnson? This is the office manager Miss Parker here. Miss Johnson, I was about to call you regarding a payment on your father’s bill —

JESI

Miss Parker, I fully realize I’m behind, and need to send a payment. I’m sorry, I should’ve called and given you a heads up. I’m closing a very large sale next week, which will allow me to make a considerable payment on that debt.

Now, please don’t forget to have the doctor call me.

OFFICE MANAGER

She kills the call, more upset, makes another call.

JESI

Hey Michael, any fires to put out?

(listens)

I can’t stay home, I feel like a fish out of water.

(listens)

How’s the doctor? The doctor is still an asshole.

(listens)

I’ll come in mid-morning.

INT. PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY

Jesi enters, sees Gizelle is thrown together, like she had a late night.

JESI

What the hell happened to you?

GIZELLE

Me? Don’t know what you mean?

JESI

Look at you, nothing matches. You look like you’ve been up all night. Who was it? Not him!

POV

Jesi glances to Henry’s office. He’s arriving late, looks disheveled.

JESI

Oh my God, you two got together.

(off her nod)

Wow, he didn’t waste much time.

Michael enters, hears Jesi’s comment. All Gizelle can do is smile.

MICHAEL

(to Gizelle)

You and Henry?

(off her nod)

All right. Good for you, babe.

Jesi looks upset, like another of her options has been stymied. Jason knocks, pops his head inside the office.

JASON

Hey Jesi, can I see you in my office for a minute?

JESI

Sure, give me a few minutes.

(to Gizelle, forces a smile)

Did you spend the night?

GIZELLE

(grins)

Yeah, I’m completely exhausted.

JESI

(forced smile)

I told you, he’s hot. Hey guys, we’ve got a busy day, but first I need to have a word with Jason.

(leaving)

If Gerard happens to call, pull me out of the meeting — no matter what.

INT. JASON’S OFFICE (CONTINUOUS)

Jesi knocks and enters, sits down tentatively.

JASON

Well, is it true? That you’re now Mrs. Gerald Leblanc?

JESI

Where did you hear this?

JASON

News travels. Look Jesi, I can’t hold one standard for you and then be hard core on the others. For instance, Suze is doing deals now that her license came through, but our deal is, she is definitely staying single.

JESI

You can’t do this. It’s misogny, it’s full on “Me Too!” Besides, it’s freaking mediaeval and it’s against the law. What do you want me to do Jason, get an attorney? You know that’s not my style. Of course I’m not going to report you, but you know damn well I could go to the DRE with this, and you would lose your license, hands down.

(tears start)

Well anyway, it’s over. We are no longer married, and it wasn’t legal anyway. How the hell did you find out?

JASON

It can’t be over? He still loves you.

JESI

How the hell would you know?

JASON

He just called and told me so.

JESI

But, you don’t even know him!

JASON

Yeah, I do. My fifteen year old daughter Sara, babysits his kid.

JESI

His what! That’s insane. He has no kids.

JASON

Last time I checked he had a seven year old. His name’s Joey, great kid.

JESI

He lied to me.

JASON

You mean, he never told you he has a kid?

JESI

Oh my God — why would he withhold his boy from me? Why would he lie about something that damn important? I need some time Jason. I need time to sort things out. Right now I’m beyond busy, but it’s mainly escrow closings. I can delegate most of it to Michael.

JASON

Wait. Are you saying that you’re not really married? I’m confused.

JESI

There was a ceremony, that’s all.

JASON

If it’s a marriage, there usaully is. What did you say to each other in that ceremony?

JESI

Nothing. It meant nothing.

JASON

Last time I checked, the marriage vow means everything. Tell me if I’m overstepping.

JESI

All right — I said —

(takes a long beat)

Gerard, we’ve only been together three times, but I couldn’t be more sure of my love for you. I know now, that I have never loved before. You have my trust, my loyalty, my heart. You are my love, like no one has or ever will be.

The room goes quiet.

JASON

And he said?

JESI

He said — I knew the first day we met, right after your Sinatra story. I was certain beyond words that you were the woman I would marry. Jesi, my heart is yours, tonight I give you all of me. Everything I have, from this day on, tomorrow, and forever. My entire life, I have never been as certain of anything. Jesi, will you be my wife?

The room goes quiet. The verse is still in her head.

JESI

I guess I had the vows memorized, and didn’t realize it.

JASON

My friend, right there is your answer.

JESI

No, it’s not! Why would I marry such a liar?

JASON

Then let me call him, find out more about this kid of his.

JESI

Jason no, it’s not your problem.

She leaves and rips back to her private office, grabs her purse, has one foot out the door. Calls out to Gizelle.

JESI

If any of my good old boys call or need anything tell them I’m on a sabbatical. On second thought, better not. I’ll be at home, need some down time.

As she leaves Michael slip streams her down the hallway.

MICHAEL

Wait a minute, you’re not getting off that easy. What’s going on with the Doc?

JESI

He has a son! It’s for real. Jason just told me —

MICHAEL

How the hell would Jason know? All he lives for is real estate.

JESI

Ger called me and confessed he had a kid. That girl I saw him kissing was his niece. He wants me to meet his boy —

MICHAEL

Then do it! Go meet his son. I’m telling you, the doc is a good dude.

JESI

It’s the withhold I have a problem with. This was no small thing — I can’t do it, Michael.

She leaves and shoots for the exit.

KEY SCENE 2: PROTAGONIST FACES THEIR DILEMMA

EXT./INT. JOHNSON HOME – DAY

Jesi picks up the phone to IRS gent, ALBERT BOSS.

ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

Is this Miss Johnson?

JESI

Yes, who is this?

AGENT

This is Albert Boss, Internal Revenue Service.

JESI

Oh God, no.

ALBERT BOSS

I have that number for you, Miss Johnson.

JESI

Are you guys negotiable, at all?

ALBERT BOSS

You’ll need to make an appointment to find out, Miss Johnson.

JESI

Then let’s set it up for next week. Preferably after 1pm.

INTERCUT:

INT. GERARD’S RESIDENCE (CONTINUOUS)

Gerard adds Jesi’s number to his new cell phone and calls.

When he calls, his phone translates as an unknown caller and so Jesi kills his call.

ALBERT BOSS (V.O.)

Then let’s say next Thursday, 1 pm.

Gerard texts Jesi next.

TEXT

Jesi, it’s me Gerard. It’s a new phone, please call me.

Jesi gapes at the text. Takes a minute, breathes, then punches the number.

GERARD LEBLANC

Jess, babe, please don’t hang up on me. I smashed my phone right after I saw you in the street.

JESI

Oh, you mean with the new girlfriend?

GERRARD

Jes, please can I see you. That was my niece yesterday.

JESI

Oh really. You want me to believe that? What about your son?

GERRARD

That was my mistake, and I deeply regret it. My boy is a gift, a treasure, and I want you to meet him.

JESI

You want me to meet your son —

She disconnects from the call. Gerard calls right back. So does Michael.

JESI

Michael, anything wrong?

MICHAEL

Hey boss, I think you’d better come back in. The Schmidt deal in The Shores just fell out.

[Rae Rodgers]

pen and signs the many pages.

JOE SCHMIDT

I was an engineer, you know. We’re a real pain in the ass when it comes to reading contracts.

JESI

(she knows this)

Absolutely not!

TIME LAPSE

Rae’s Act 3 – Turning Point

What I learned from this assignment, is how to effectively use the beats and tie them into this story, and so far it is working like clockwork. I’m finally realizing how well this structure works.

ACT 3 – KEY SCENE #4 – TURNING POINT Protagonist faces her lowest blow.

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – LATE NIGHT

Jesi walks in, exhausted. Hears noise in the living room, flicks a light. Gerard stands in the center of the room with champagne and glasses. He pops champagne, pours and toasts.

GERARD LEBLANC

Here’s to Mr. & Mrs. Leblanc! May they live forever after, in harmony.

They each swill the champagne, then fall onto the couch kissing.

JESI

Wait, let’s turn on Sinatra.

GERALD LEBLANC

Uh uh, Sinatra can wait.

His kiss is hungry. She responds with the same. He helps rip off her blouse. Neither one can wait any longer, as he lifts her skirt and they make hot, steamy love.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY

Jesi enters, slaps her new listing info down on Henry’s desk.

JESI

The seller just signed, thirty units in Bellflower. So I’m giving you the first shot. And oh, that’s not all. I’m listing his Newport units next week.

SUPERIMPOSE: ONE MONTH LATER

INT. JESI’S PRIVATE OFFICE

Six months on the job, Jesi now occupies a private office. Michael enters, congratulates her.

MICHAEL

Congratulations, young lady.

JESI

Thanks, I love my new office.

MICHAEL

Didn’t you hear? You just won “Rookie of the Year.” There’ll be an award celebration. Thank God, a chance to dress up.

JESI

Oh shit! You’re kidding me.

Her cell lights up, it’s Gerald.

GERALD LEBLANC

Can I pick you up in an hour?

JESI

Hi — what for?

GERARD LEBLANC

We’re going to the courthouse, to get the marriage license. Then after we get the license, I’ll drop you at your house so you can pack a beg. I want to sail you to Catalina on my small but very adequate yacht. It will be our honeymoon —

JESI

Oh God, I’ve been so busy listing units, I forgot. You know, I can’t do today — sorry, too busy.

GERALD LEBLANC

What’s more important than this, baby. I put off my surgery —

JESI

I’m sorry, not today. I just can’t.

GERARD LEBLANC

Okay, then it’s time we laid out a game plan and let everyone know. This secrecy is not working for me. I don’t do well without structure. I need time frames. I need a date, Jesi. To consummate that you’re my wife!

JESI

Sweetheart, I love you, and in my eyes we are already married.

GERALD LEBLANC

That’s not good enough. It’s not how the government sees it.

JESI

Ger, we’re married! Let that be enough for now. I’m so stressed with all these listing demands I just can’t do it.

GERALD LEBLANC

(tenses)

Then let me know when you come to your senses.

Gerald abruptly ends the call.

JESI

Damn it!

Jesi looks up as Michael knocks and enters.

MICHAEL

Hey, top producer.

Jesi bursts into tears.

MICHAEL

What, what did I say?

JESI

Can you close the door?

Michael moves closer.

MICHAEL

What? Was it goddamn Henry again?

JESI

No. I’m married.

MICHAEL

Goddamn, son-of-a- bitch.

JESI

Well sort of married. We still need to get the license.

(sobbing)

I love him so much — but I don’t have time for him.

MICHAEL

Now, wait a minute. In my world that’s an oxymoron. We do anything for that kind of love. Who is he?

JESI

I can’t say —

MICHAEL

It’s Henry? Jason?

She hold out for awhile.

JESI

The doctor —

MICHAEL

What the hell. What doctor?

JESI

The one who attended my father. It was crazy. We fell in love. We got married that first month. We were married in a restaurant three months ago, by his friend, a wedding celebrant. It’s was pure spontaneity. The celebrant said it’s legal – all we need to do is get the license. We vowed to do this together — but I haven’t had time.

MICHAEL

What’s the hell’s wrong with you? What’s the use of all this business if you’re gonna be this miserable? Go get him, goddamn it. On second thought, I could take your place. Doctor is sounding extremely sexy —

JESI

(laughs, through tears)

Stop it, Michael. This is serious. I love him, but as for marriage, I simply don’t have time. I’ve got these humungous bills to pay, and they’re not just the medical. The IRS is after my Dad. He then also left me a last will and testament kind of letter, begging me not to sell his house.

MICHAEL

The IRS? What the hell did he do? They get real nasty.

JESI

Why am I telling you all of this?

He’s got unpaid taxes. Gambling debt —

MICHAEL

Jeez Louise, either one could of those is a cardinal offense — but both!

JESI

Thanks for the constructive comments. Michael, what do I do?

He hands her a bottle of water. She drinks it in one swill.

MICHAEL

You marry the doctor.

Jesi’s cell sounds. She checks the caller.

JESI

Mr. Schmidt, I mean Joe. How are you?

(listens)

You have MORE units for me to list? You know Joe, I may have to refer you to my side kick. His name is Michael. He’s also a top producer, and he’s amazing.

(listens)

Harold said if not me, use Henry? Oh no, no, no. Michael’s gonna give you hands on treatment, like you deserve. I’ll have him call you in ten minutes.

Michael dances around they room, doing a Latin number.

MICHAEL

Now, that was a brilliant move. But first, and most importantly, is he queer?

Jesi bursts out laughing, and relaxes a bit.

INT./ EXT. INTERNAL REVENUE (LONG BEACH) – DAY

Jesi sits in a small room with AGENT WHIPPLE, trying to make a payment deal with him – one that is livable.

JESI

What is the minimum you will accept? I mean on installment.

AGENT WHIPPLE

I recognize your dilemma, but to be honest, the IRS doesn’t care. The state and federal tax owned on this debt to date is pushing five hundred thousand. He was big time, Miss Johnson. Sorry, is that Miss or Mrs?

JESI

Right now, I wish it was Mrs.

Jesi leaves the office, steps outside the building, calls Gerard.

JESI

Hi there, it’s me. You could be in surgery, so call back whenever you can. I can’t stand this, I need to see you. Oh hell, I’m driving over to you. And screw it, we’ll get the license — and sail to Catalina.

EXT. MEDICAL BUILDING (CONTINUOUS)

Jesi drives up to the building looking for a parking spot.

POV

Gerard exits the glass entry glass doors with a pretty WOMAN (25). His arm is wrapped tight around her shoulders. They glimpse at each other, laugh. He plants a kiss on her lips.

Jesi pulls to the curb, hides her face, hopes they won’t see her. Gerard sees the car, says something to the young woman and runs over.

Jesi plants a foot. The car takes off. Gerard chases it for half a block.

GERALD LEBLANC (O.S.)

Jesi, hold on, wait! Goddamn it.

His cell phone rings. He gropes for it, answers.

JESI

How could you! Who the hell was she!

Still running, Gerard drops his phone. It crashes into the street, completely broken.

INT. JOHNSON HOME (DAY)

Jesi crashes and burns, falls onto her father’s recliner, curls up crying. After awhile she gets up, turns on Sinatra. The song is, “How Little it Matters.”

[Rae Rodgers]

RAE’S ACT 3 – MIDDLE SCENES

What I learned from this assignment. This structure works. As the tension builds so does the story. I’m trying to stay focused and on course, but sometimes my brain takes me off in other directions.

ACT 3 – SCENE #1 REACTS/ RETHINKS THE NEW REALITY AT MIDPOINT

HARBOR YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NIGHT

Jesi enters, sees Harold with a dozen good old boys grouped around the bar. She stops and freezes. Harold spots her and hurries over.

HAROLD

Didn’t think you’d make it. Are you sure you can handle this?

She nods as they continue walking towards a group of FOURTEEN WELL WORN, OLDER MEN.

HAROLD

I know it seems pretty noisy, but trust me on weekends it gets a lot worse.

(shouts to the men)

Hey fellas, meet Jesi, my protegee. And she’s one helluva real estate agent. Works the entire coast from Redondo to Laguna. So talk to her about your properties. She’ll trade them up or down whatever you like. Besides that, she drives a mean constructions truck, and will even fix your roofs and plumbing.

Harold takes Jesi’s hand, introduces her to the old codgers one by one. Each of them light up as they speak to her. A few of the men crowd closer, genuinely interested.

JIM BAKER (75), JOE SCHMIDT (78), BOSS MULLER (70), step up.

JOE SCHMIDT

Jesi, Joseph Schmidt, but you can call me Joe. Who are you with?

JESI

Schindler Investments, Long Beach. Before that I was with — — . They have four coastal offices. I was their top producer for five years. But I’ve decided to jump into investment properties, just for the challenge. But if I’m entirely honest, it’s for the paychecks too.

JOE SCHMIDT

Hell, I sacked my agent last year. I was over him and his games. Now I’ve got this thirty unit complex close to Long Beach Harbor I want to sell. Maybe trade it into something bigger. So talk to me — maybe I’ll give you a shot.

The noise pumps up as Jesi sits down with Joe. She strains to listen, then takes out her phone and enters his information.

EXT. YACHT CLUB (LATE EVENING)

Jesi leaves the building, signals a VALET, her cell phone flashing “Dr. Leblanc.” She hesitates then answers.

JESI

Doctor, I’m sorry my bill is still outstanding —

GERALD LEBLANC (O.S.)

How’s tomorrow morning for a coffee?

The valet pulls up in her car. She slips into the driver’s seat still on the phone.

JESI

I’m sorry, wish I could. Maybe another time?

ACT #3 – SCENE 2 – MAKES A NEW PLAN

INT./EXT. JOHNSON HOME/ OFFICE – DAY

Jesi makes a deal with Mario as an equal partner. They shake hands, then walk outside to the Silverado construction truck.

JESI

I know how much my Dad trusted you. He also paid you half of what you deserved. So let’s do this! Take it away, the truck is yours.

MARIO

You interested in the work at all? I mean, you were so good on that roof.

JESI

My focus has to be on real estate. Don’t worry, we’ll hire you a helper.

He blasts the truck horn, waves as he drives the truck away.Jesi walks back inside the home, her cell flashing.

JESI

(into phone)

Yes, this is she.

(listens)

I’m very aware that you need payment, but I can’t do this unless we work out a payment plan. Look, can I speak to the Doctor? Doctor LeBlanc —

She waits on the line forever. Finally the doctor responds.

GERALD LEBLANC

Jesi? This is Doctor Leblanc.

JESI

Doctor, I always knew medical care was expensive, but I had no idea it could reach this proportion.

(starts crying)

I’m sorry. My father let his bridging insurance lapse —

GERALD LEBLANC

Look, I have a surgery scheduled in a few minutes. Can we meet somewhere, possibly for lunch? This Saturday — if you are free.

JESI

Yes, yes, let’s meet for lunch.

GERALD LEBLANC

The Honor Bar. Pine Street, one o’clock?

JESI

Perfect.

ACT 3 – KEY SCENE #3 – Things start going well… until

A call flashes on Jesi’s phone. She answers and listens.

JESI

Yes, this is Jesi Johnson, Jackson Johnson’s daughter.

(listens long and hard)

What do you mean he has IRS debt? Look, I have no one else to turn to here. I have no mother, no siblings. My father just died two months ago, and I’m trying to hold all of this together. Plus pay off his medical debt —

(listens)

A meeting at the IRS? This week? You’re kidding me!

INT. THE HONOR BAR – DAY

Jesi chats with Dr. LeBlanc over lunch. Their energy is electric. It’s an obvious “love at first sight” moment.

JESI

I’m finding out my father’s spending was pretty reckless. I’ve even got the IRS calling me. It turns out he liked to gamble. What should I do, Dr. Leblanc?

GERARD LEBLANC

Well first, take one step at a time. Would you like to share some wine?

JESI

I’d love to.

GERARD LEBLANC

French Rose?

She nods as he calls the WAITER over.

GERALD LEBLANC

A bottle of French Rose. From the Loire Valley if you have it.

The waiter nods and leaves.

GERALD LEBLANC

(grins)

Now let’s talk more about Sinatra.

JESI

I’d love to. But first, I want you to know that I fully intend to pay off my father’s debt. I just need more time, doctor.

GERALD LEBLANC

It’s Gerald. And I’m giving you all the time you need.

The luncheon continues, the wine keeps pouring. It seems neither one wants it to end.

GERALD LEBLANC

Can we do this again? Next time, for dinner?

JESI

But, we haven’t discussed Sinatra.

GERALD LEBLANC

All right, what’s your favorite song?

JESI

Oh my God, so many. There’s this one song that’s hardly ever played. It’s titled Dindi, pronounced Jinji. My favorite part is, “Like a river that can’t find the sea, that would be me without you Dindi.”

(reflects)

Whenever I hear Sinatra sing it, I wish I was Dindi.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE/ THE BULLPEN – DAY

Jesi is at her desk, scans the “Hot Sheet,” a list of new property listings. Harold’s property is listed at the very top. She storms into Henry’s office, stands in the doorway.

JESI

So much for us sharing Harold’s listing.

She throws her head outside, shouts to A DOZEN AGENTS in the Bullpen.

JESI

Hey! You’re all a bunch of narcissists! Every one of you! Well, screw you! I don’t need your leads, or help from any damn one of you.

The quiet is deafening. She looks to Henry who is finishing up his Haiku for the day. He hands her the page.

HENRY

This is for you —

She takes it, tears the page into shreds.

JESI

Fuck Haiku. You’re a snake, and this is war! You wouldn’t share Harold’s listing, and I’ll bet money that it was you who stole my lead. So I’m warning you, start guarding your clients, because I’m going after every one of them. I mean it.

She storms out as fast as she stormed in. Goes to her cubicle, writes a deadly Haiku that takes a few drafts.

HAIKU

Snake is a good word;

When describing Henry Wu;

Asshole is better.

She runs back to Henry’s office, slaps the Haiku on his desk.

INT. FRENCH RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Gerald and Jesi are seated outside. Lights strung all over, the tables are all intimately placed. Soft music plays. He leans in and kisses her. When finally they pull apart —

GERARD LEBLANC

Okay, what’s your favorite song for tonight?

JESI

Sinatra? Let me think. “You’re getting to be a habit with me.”

GERARD LEBLANC

I want to have children with you.

She smiles, goes quiet.

GERARD LEBLANC

Did I scare you?

JESI

No. No, not at all.

GERARD LEBLANC

I never speak that way —

JESI

Nor I. I mean, I’m thirty-nine and children have not been an issue. I mean, my biological clock is fine.

GERARD LEBLANC

And I’m forty two, and can’t get you out of my head.

They laugh together. He kisses her again.

GERARD LEBLANC

Will you come home with me?

JESI

Right now?

He nods, yes. She nods back. He places cash on the table. As they leave Gerald bumps into his good friend JOSEPH DECAMP (60), who is a doctor, and also a MARRIAGE CLEEBRANT.

PULL BACK for introductions and small talk. Then GO CLOSE.

GERARD LEBLANC

(to Jesi)

Joseph is a doctor, and also a marriage celebrant. If you’re in the same mood as me — we could take advantage of him.

Jesi laughs and then nods “Yes.” Gerald turns to Joseph.

GERALD LEBLANC

Do you have the time?

JOSEPH

It would be my pleasure.

Gerald finds a MAITRE DE and they talk for a minute.

When he returns, the party goes to a far end of the dining area, shrouded with Olive trees, strung with lights. Words of love spill out, as Joseph performs the wedding ceremony.

INT. BEDROOM (CONTINUOUS)

Gerard and Jesi lie in bed. Their love making hot, tender passionate, as if they’ve known each other’s bodies before. He strokes slowly, his fingertips taking her breathe away.

AFTERWARDS

They lie together, not surrendering to sleep.

GERARD LEBLANC

I love you, Jesi.

JESI

(whispers back)

I love you too — how did this happen?

He kisses her, then grins.

GERARD LEBLANC

It had to be Sinatra.

She holds up her left hand, her ring finger wrapped in a gold band.

JESI

Is it a dream?

GERARD LEBLANC

It’s real, once we get the license.

JESI

What did Joseph call this?

GERARD LEBLANC

A commitment ceremony. To make it legal we need a marriage license.

They fall back in each others arms and start slow, passionate love making.

INT. SCHINDLER INVESTMENT PROPERTIES – DAY

Jesi knocks and enters. Jason looks up, disinterested.

JESI

I have to apologize for my bad behavior the past three months. There’s no real excuse, it’s just I’ve had a lot on my plate, dealing with the aftermath of my father’s death, manning his construction company. I’ve been running myself ragged.

JASON

(stops and listens)

Take a seat.

She looks down at her right hand. Sees the wedding ring, rips it off and stuffs it in her purse.

JESI

You weren’t here, but I’m sure you heard I lost it in the bull pen day before last.

JASON

I heard.

JESI

Well, all that has changed. I just signed up two new listings. Thirty units in The Shores, and a twenty five unit building in Anaheim. And I have buyers.

JASON

(shakes her hand)

Congratulations! Wow! Now you’re talking. Need any help?

JESI

Both Michael and Suze have agreed to walk me through the listing and marketing procedures — so far it’s all going well. It’s gonna be a big learning curve.

JASON

Well, I’m here for you as well. Keep this up, you could be our “Rookie of the Year.”

JESI

Any advice you want to throw in?

JASON

Share your listings with the guys. Make some friends out there. We all need friends, you know. But don’t go falling for or marrying any one of them. Our deal is single ladies only —

JESI

What! What are you talking about?

JASON

My office policy, remember? Our original deal was you must remain single.

JESI

You can’t dictate something like that. That’s sexual harassment.

JASON

This is my shop. It’s worked for me so far. If you wanna stay, get a shot at number one, then stay single.

(pauses)

So, where did you get these listing leads?

JESI

Friends of friends. It’s amazing what can happen when you put yourself out there.

JASON

Have you told Henry?

JESI

Henry and I don’t get along these days.

INT. BULL PEN – LATER

Jesi approaches the bull pen, stops in the middle and clears her throat. No one flinches or even looks up.

JESI

Hey, fellas!

TWO MEN look up from their desks, no more.

Jesi tries again, gives a loud pitched dog whistle that gets their attention.

JESI

I just want to say to all of you, that I’m sorry. I was an unmitigated creep the other day.

Heads nod in agreement. She even gets a few smiles.

JESI

Again, I’m sorry.

Michael snaps beside Jesi to give his support.

MICHAEL

Okay guys, lets hear it for our top producer. She listed 20 units that sold in one day. And she’s got thirty units coming up.

She has their attention.

AGENT #1

What’s the location? What’s the price per door? I’ve got buyers.

AGENT #2

Do we get first shot? I mean before te word gets out.

JESI

Yes, for sure. I will definitely let you know.

IN THE REAR

Henry stands at his office door listening. He shakes his head in the negative, returns to his desk.

ON JESI AND MICHAEL

She squeals as Michael lifts and spins her off her feet.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi knocks, peeps inside Henry’s door.

HENRY

(grunts)

I suppose you’re here to flaunt your listings. How the hell did you get your foot in the door?

JESI

Female prowess.

HENRY

Well, if and when you decide to share, I’ve got the buyers.

JESI

Of course. Once I get the green light I’ll be sharing with all of our agents.

HENRY

Give me a two day exclusive and you’ll get a percentage.

JESI

I didn’t know you were that desperate.

HENRY

Okay, forget it.

JESI

Sorry, that was nasty. It’s the residue from you stealing Harold’s listing.

(extends hand)

Friends?

HENRY

Friends.

(hesitates)

Sorry I’ve been such a prick. It’s a defense mechanism, since I signed up for the school of hard knocks.

INT. BULL PEN/ HENRY’S OFFICE (LATER)

Jesi writes a Haiku to Henry at her desk.

HAIKU

Sorry takes courage;

Comes from an enlightenment;

That lives in the heart.

Jesi enters Henry’s office, hands him the Haiku. He reads it and smiles. All of the negative fall out seems to fall away.

MONTAGE:

INT. YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – EARLY EVENING

Jesi meets with BOSS MULLER (75), one of Harold’s property rich buddies. They sit casually, on stools at the bar. She hands him a contract to sign.

BOSS

This is what I like, good old fashioned pen to paper. Don’t need any of that fancy E-sign. Have you told Harold?

JESI

Told him what?

BOSS

That I caved in and gave you a shot at selling my property?

JESI

Yes I did, and he was thrilled.

BOSS

Sneaky old bastard. Now don’t you go giving him a finder’s fee. He’s got more money than God.

JESI

Of course not.

Jesi tucks the signed contract safely in her purse.

INT. YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NEXT EVENING

Jesi meets JOE SCHMIDT (80), at the same bar as the night before. He’s a little more conservative than his buddy Boss. He takes forever to read every line. Finally he picks up a pen and signs the many pages.

JOE SCHMIDTI

I was an engineer, you know. We’re a real pain in the ass when it comes to reading contracts.

JESI

(she knows this)

Absolutely not!

TIME LAPSE

Jesi and Joe are still at the bar. They have polished off a bottle of wine and the barman is opening another.

JOE SCHMIDT

Don’t you bringing me anything less than a full price offer, young lady.

JESI

I’ll do my best, Sir.

JOE SCHMIDT

When you sell this one I’ve got.

END MONTAGE:

ACT 3 – KEY SCENE #4 – Protagonist faces her lowest blow.

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Jesi walks in late, exhausted. Hears a noise in the living room, flicks on a light. Gerard stands in the center of the room with Champagne and two glasses. He pops the champagne, pours, then toasts.

GERARD LEBLANC

Here’s to Mr. & Mrs. Leblanc! Might they live forever after, and in harmony.

They swill the champagne, then fall onto the couch.

JESI

Wait, let’s turn on Sinatra.

GERALD LEBLANC

Sinatra can wait.

His kiss is hungry. She responds with the same. He helps her rip off her blouse. Neither one can wait any longer, as he lifts her skirt and they make hot, steamy love.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY

Jesi enters, throws her new listing info onto Henry’s desk.

JESI

My seller just signed it. You’ve got a twenty-four hour first shot.

And that’s not all. I’m listing his Newport units next week.

SUPERIMPOSE: ONE MONTH LATER

INT. JESI’S PRIVATE OFFICE

Six months on the job, Jesi now occupies a private office. Michael enters, congratulates her.

MICHAEL

Congratulations, babe.

JESI

Thanks, I love my new office.

MICHAEL

Didn’t you hear? You just won “Rookie of the Year.” There’ll be an award celebration.

JESI

Oh shit! You’re kidding me.

Her cell lights up, it’s Gerald.

GERALD LEBLANC

Can i pick you up in an hour?

JESI

Hi — what for?

GERARD LEBLANC

I told you. We’re going to the courthouse, to get the marriage license.

JESI

Sorry, I’ve been so busy listing units, I forgot. You know, I can’t, not today — too busy.

GERALD LEBLANC

Hey baby, what’s more important than this. I put off surgery —

JESI

I’m sorry, not today. I just can’t.

GERARD LEBLANC

Okay, but it’s time we laid out a game plan to let everyone know. All this secrecy is not working for me. I don’t do well without structure. I need time frames. I need a date.

JESI

Sweetheart, I love you, and in my eyes we are already married.

GERALD LEBLANC

That’s not good enough. It’s not how the government sees it.

JESI

Ger, we’re married, goddamn it! Let that be enough for now.

GERALD LEBLANC

Let me know when you come to your senses.

Gerald ends the call.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s Act 3 – Reaction to mid-point

What I learned with this assignment, is this a brilliant framework in which to write a script. It is starting to flow like magic.

ACT #3 OUTLINE:

KEY SCENE #1

RE ACT/ RETHINK THE “NEW REALITY” REVEALED AT MID-POINT

INT. SCHINDLER INVESTMENT PROPERTIES – DAY

Jesi knocks and enters Jason’s office. He looks up, disinterested.

JESI

Jason, I want to apologize for my bad behavior over the past three months. There’s no excuse, it’s just I’ve had a lot on my plate, dealing with the aftermath of my father’s death and manning his construction company. I’ve been running myself ragged. So I’ve been on edge —

JASON

(stops and listens)

Take a seat.

She looks down at her right hand. Sees the wedding ring, rips it off and stuffs it in her purse.

JESI

You weren’t here, but I’m sure you heard that I lost it in the bull pen day before last.

JASON

So I heard.

JESI

Well, all that has changed. I just signed up two new listings. Thirty units in The Shores, and a twenty five unit building in Anaheim.

JASON

(beams, shakes her hand)

Well, congratulations! Wow! Now you’re talking. Need any help?

JESI

I sure do, and it’s gonna be a big learning curve. Both Michael and Suze have agreed to walk me through the listing and marketing procedures — so far it’s all going well.

JASON

Well, I’m here for you as well. Keep this up and you could be our new “Rookie of the Year.”

JESI

Any advice you might wanna throw in?

JASON

Share your listings with the guys. You might make some friends out there. We all need friends, you know.

JESI

(grins)

Even you?

JASON

Even me.

(pauses)

Say, where did you get those leads?

JESI

Friends of friends. It’s amazing what can happen when you put yourself out there.

JASON

Have you told Henry?

JESI

Henry and I aren’t getting along these days — but maybe I will.

INT. BULL PEN – LATER

Jesi approaches the bull pen, stops in the center and clears her throat. No one flinches or even looks up.

JESI

Hey, fellas!

TWO MEN look up from their desks, that’s all.

Jesi gives a loud pitched dog whistle! She gets all of their attention.

JESI

I just want to say, to all of you, that I’m sorry. I was an unmitigated creep the other day.

Heads are nodding in agreement. She gets a few smiles.

JESI

Again, I’m sorry.

Michael snaps beside Jesi to give support.

MICHAEL

Guys, lets hear it for our top producer. Listed 20 units and sold them in a day. I also heard she’s got one or two more listings coming up.

This gets their attention.

AGENT #1

Where are they located? What’s the price per door? I’ve got buyers.

AGENT #2

Do we get first shot? I mean before the word gets out.

JESI

Yeah, for sure. I will definitely let you know.

IN THE REAR

Henry’s at the door of his office watching the whole scene. Shakes his head in the negative, returns to his desk.

ON JESI AND MICHAEL

She squeals as Michael lifts her, spins her off her feet.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi knocks on Henry’s door, peeps inside. Henry’s disinterested.

JESI

How’s the Haiku going?

HENRY

(grunts)

What, did you come to flaunt your listings? How the hell did you even get your foot in the door?

JESI

Female prowess.

HENRY

Well, if and when you decide to share I’ve got the buyers.

JESI

Of course. Once I get the green light I’ll be sharing with all of our agents.

HENRY

Give me a two day exclusive and I’ll give you a percentage.

JESI

I didn’t know you were that desperate.

HENRY

Okay, forget it.

JESI

Sorry, that was nasty. It must be the residue from you stealing Harold’s listing.

(extends hand)

Can we be friends?

HENRY

Yes, we can, friends.

(hesitates)

And sorry to be such a prick. It’s a defense mechanism. Ever since I came to the school of hard knocks.

INT. BULL PEN/ HENRY’S OFFICE (LATER)

Jesi sits and writes a Haiku to Henry.

HAIKU

Sorry takes courage;

Comes from the enlightenment;

That lives in the heart.

Jesi approaches Henry’s office, knocks and enters. She hands him the Haiku. He reads it and smiles. All of the past negative fall out seems to fall away.

MONTAGE:

INT. YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – EARLY EVENING

Jesi meets with BOSS MULLER (75), one of Harold’s property rich buddies. They sit casually, on stools at the bar. She hands him a contract to sign.

BOSS

This is what I like, good old fashioned pen to paper. Don’t need any of that fancy E-sign. Have you told Harold?

JESI

Told him what?

BOSS

That I caved in and gave you a shot at selling my property?

JESI

Yes I did, and he was thrilled.

BOSS

Sneaky old bastard. Now don’t you go giving him a finder’s fee. He’s got more money than God.

JESI

Of course not.

Jesi tucks the signed contract safely in her purse.

INT. YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) THE NEXT EVENING

Jesi meets JOE SCHMIDT (80), at the same bar as the night before. He’s a little more conservative than his buddy Boss. He takes forever to read every line. Finally he picks up a pen and signs the many pages.

JOE SCHMIDTI

I was an engineer, you know. We’re a real pain in the ass when it comes to reading contracts.

JESI

(she knows this)

Absolutely not!

TIME LAPSE

Jesi and Joe are still at the bar. They have polished off a bottle of wine and the barman is opening another.

JOE SCHMIDT

Don’t you bringing me anything less than a full price offer, young lady.

JESI

I’ll do my best, Sir.

JOE SCHMIDT

When you sell this one I’ve got.

END MONTAGE:

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY

Jesi enters, throws another new listing on Henry’s desk.

JESI

Start calling your clients. You’ve got a twenty-four first shot.

HENRY

Another one!

JESI

Yeah, and that’s not all. I’m listing his Newport units next week.

SUPERIMPOSE: ONE MONTH LATER

INT. JESI’S PRIVATE OFFICE

Six months on the job, Jesi now occupies a private office. Michael enters, congratulates her.

MICHAEL

Congratulations, babe.

JESI

Thank, I love my new office.

MICHAEL

Didn’t you hear? You just won “Rookie of the Year.” There’ll be an award celebration.

JESI

Oh shit! You’re kidding me.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s completed ACT 2 – Draft 1

What I learned this assignment is patience. I keep wanting the this script to stretch and grow. We’re at the half way point and I have 30 pages when I need a minimum of 45.

KEY SCENE #2 PROTAGONIST TAKES ON A PLAN AND EXECUTES IT

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING (LONG BEACH) – DAY

Jesi pulls up outside, in the Johnson’s Contractor truck. Harrold is there to meet her. They hug and then both wipe the tears.

HAROLD

One of the tenants just vacated one of my furnished units. So lets go inside and sit.

INT. FURNISHED UNIT (CONTINUOUS)

The unit is tired, needs a re-hab badly.

HAROLD

My roof isn’t doing so well either. Are you familiar with those damn Mexican clay tiles? They crack every time you step on them.

JESI

(she is not)

Sure I am. Got the ladder. I’ll get up there and take a look in a minute.

(pauses)

Harold, Pug, the real reason I’m here is I need advice regarding the multi-unit real estate business. Trust me, I’m still keeping the construction business going. But, I sort of dove in head first, like I do with everything, having no idea how competitive the business was – you might say, cut throat. But to make the kind of income I need right now, I’m gonna have to hustle up some listings —

(blurts out)

Pug, you said you were thinking of selling this place?

HAROLD

Well, you know, I’d love to give you a break, but I’ve got this agent I’ve used for many years — ever heard of Henry Wu?

JESI

I know him well.

(looks away, then)

I’ll do a much better job for you. Us rookies try harder. I’ll get you the highest and best value. After all I know this place inside out. I even checked out your crawl space if you remember?

HAROLD

That’s right, you are quite a woman. Now about my roof —

They get up, walk outside.

JESI

Let me go get my ladder.

HAROLD

Wait, isn’t that how your Dad —

JESI

It’s okay. I’m a lot younger, and heck of a lot lighter —

She stuffs the tears as she heads towards the truck.

She returns with an extension ladder, leans it against the building — hesitates.

JESI

You know, I just started a new helper. Mario, he’s awesome. Maybe I’ll let him climb up there.

HAROLD

Makes sense to me. Send him over tomorrow. Look, I’ll have a talk with Henry, tell him I’m considering another agent. Competition is good and healthy, right?

JESI

Yes, agreed.

She shakes Harold’s hand turns and walks away, then stops.

JESI

Oh, Harold, if you don’t mind, please don’t tell Henry that the other agent is me.

HAROLD

You got it. But don’t take it to the bank. I didn’t say you’ve the listing yet. Let’s get that roof repaired first.

She heads for the truck with a smile on her face, the first in a long while.

INT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – NEXT DAY

Jesi pulls up in the truck. She jumps out, with her side-kick MARIO (30), following.

JESI

(to Mario)

Be careful not to break any tiles when you’re up there. They’re a bitch. And no falling off that roof.

MARIO

Nah, not me.

Mario secures the ladder carefully against the building wall and is about to scale it.

EXT. THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)

A BMW pulls up to the curb. Henry hops out, a phone to his ear. He doesn’t see Jesi, but yells out to Mario.

HENRY

Hey, you on the ladder! Do me a favor, tell Harold I’ll be right there. I gotta take this call.

Mario swings around. The ladder falters and he falls to the ground. Henry is engrossed in a phone call, jumps back in his car talking, doesn’t see him fall.

JESI

(runs over)

Oh my God Mario, are you all right?

Mario is nodding, rubbing his leg. Harold hurries over.

HARROLD

Damnit. I knew I should’a renewed my liability insurance.

(looks to Jesi)

You’ve got your own insurance, right?

MARIO

I’m okay. I’m okay. You don’t need no insurance.

Mario gets up, starts to re-scale the ladder.

HARROLD

You watch your step, okay. Don’t want no goddamn accidents.

The ladder skids sideways on the stucco wall. Mario falls again, but jumps up, unhurt. This time Jesi takes over.

Harold yells to Jesi as she scales the ladder.

HARROLD

By the way, I called Henry last night about listing this place. He’s on his way over!

JESI

Too late, he’s here already. But don’t worry, our path’s won’t even cross.

KEY SCENE #3

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – MID-MORNING

Jesi is on the roof, working at a fast pace, calling down to Mario.

JESI

Mario, I need about six more tiles. Send them up on the pully.

Mario stacks the tile and sends it up.

EXT. THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)

Henry finally steps from his BMW ending the call. Harold hurries to the curb to greet him. They’re shaking hands.

POV

Jesi is watching, does not want to get down from that roof. She hides behind a chimney stack, and stalls.

Mario is calling out to her.

MARIO

Hey Jesi, need any more of those tiles?

ON HENRY

He stops the conversation with Harold, looks to the roof.

HENRY

Is that Jesi up there?

HAROLD

Yep, that’s my girl Jesi.

HENRY

(shouts)

Hey, Jesi, get down here. What the hell —

Jesi hesitates, then finally drops down the ladder. She is covered in dust and clay from the roof tiles. She approaches the two men.

HENRY

What are you doing here? Why are you on that roof?

JESI

I told you my father died and left me his business. And actually, I rather like the freedom of it. It’s my grass roots, an environment I can trust. No back stabbing.

HENRY

Well, those overalls become you.

(turns to Harold)

Harold, shall we do this inside?

HAROLD

Nah, right here is fine.

Jesi quickly drops down the ladder, hurries over and listens in.

HENRY

Harold, she is just a rookie. You know I’m the best man for the job.

HAROLD

(takes a beat)

Now Jesi, I don’t want you getting upset, but Henry’s right. So I will be listing the property with Henry. Remember, you are just starting out, and you’re still grieving. You’re also busy running Jackson’s construction company. I’m sorry, I need to stay with Henry.

JESI

(looks away, then back again)

Henry, congratulations. And Harold I completely understand. But just as a side bar, I now have Mario, as project manager to run Johnson Construction, so I can give my full, undivided attention to my real estate clients.

HAROLD

Now, what you two could entertain is a co-listing. Fifty, fifty. That way all three of us win. And I get the extra exposure. What do you say, Henry?

HENRY

(anxious to leave)

Harold, I’ve got your listing price, so I’ll forwarded you the contract digitally.

(avoids eye contact)

Jesi, see you back in the office.

JESI

Yeah, sure Henry.

After Henry leaves, Harold throws a compassionate arm around Jesi’s shoulder.

JESI

Just you wait. He’s no intention of sharing the listing.

HAROLD

Well then, he showed his true colors. But just you wait, I’ve got an even bigger plan for you. This bunch of old geeza’s I hang with. We call it “The old boys apartment club.” They’re a scruffy lot, but they’re all filthy rich. They scooped up most of their buildings in the 1980’s when cash was king, and you could buy these buildings for a song. Their buildings are all over the place, Long Beach, Huntington, Garden Grove, Anaheim, you name it. Some are even in Newport, on the water. Yup, we all owe the eighties. Dear God, those were the days. Even with the fumbling dictates of Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter. So, if you’re up for it, our monthly get together is tomorrow night, at the Harbor Yacht Club.

INT. HARBOR YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NIGHT

Jesi enters, finds Harold and the good old boys grouped around the bar. She stops, freezes. Harold sees her and hurries over.

HAROLD

I didn’t think you’d make it. Are you sure you can handle this?

She nods as they continue walking towards a group of FOURTEEN WELL WORN, OLDER MEN.

HAROLD

I know it seems pretty noisy, but on the weekends it gets a lot worse.

(shouts to the men)

Hey fellas, meet Jesi, my protegee. And I must say, one helluva real estate agent. She works the entire coast from Redondo Beach to Laguna. So, talk to her about your properties. She’ll trade them up or down whatever you like. And besides that, she drives a mean constructions truck, and will even fix your roofs and plumbing —

Harold takes Jesi by the hand, introduces her to the old codgers one by one. Each of them light up as they speak to her. A few of the men crowd closer, genuinely interested.

JIM BAKER (75), JOE SCHMIDT (78), BOSS MULLER (70), step up.

JOE SCHMIDT

Jesi, Joseph Schmidt, but you can call me Joe. Who are you with?

JESI

Schindler Investments, Long Beach. Before that I was with — — . They have four coastal offices. I was their top producer for five years. But I’ve decided to jump into investment properties, just for the challenge. But if I’m entirely honest, it’s for the paychecks too.

JOE SCHMIDT

Hell, I sacked my agent last year. I was over him and his games. Now I’ve got this thirty unit complex close to Long Beach Harbor I want to sell. Maybe trade it into something bigger. So talk to me — maybe I’ll give you a shot.

The noise pumps up as Jesi sits down with Joe. She strains to listen, then takes out her phone and enters his information.

INT./EXT. JOHNSON HOME/ OFFICE – DAY

Jesi makes a deal with Mario. Signs him on as an equal partner. They shake hands, then walk outside to the Silverado construction truck.

JESI

I know how much my Dad always trusted you. Even though he paid you half of what you deserved. So let’s do this! Take it away, the truck is yours.

MARIO

Are you interested in the work at all? I mean, you’re so good at it.

JESI

No, my focus has to be on real estate. Don’t worry, we’ll hire you a helper.

He blasts the truck horn, waves as he drives the truck away.

Jesi walks back inside the home, her cell flashing.

JESI

(into phone)

Yes, this is she.

(listens)

I know, I’m very aware that you need payment — but I can’t do this unless we work out a payment plan. Look, can’t I speak to the Doctor? He seemed a reasonable man. What was his name, Doctor LeBlanc?

She waits on the line forever. Finally the doctor takes her call.

GERALD LEBLANC

Miss Johnson, I remember you. The Sinatra story —

JESI

Doctor, I always knew that medical care was expensive, but I had no idea it could reach this amount.

(starts crying)

I’m sorry. My father let his bridging insurance lapse —

GERALD LEBLANC

Look, Miss Johnson, I have a surgery scheduled in a few minutes. Is it possible for us to meet somewhere, possibly for lunch? I can do this Saturday — that is, if you are free.

JESI

Yes, yes, let’s meet for lunch.

GERALD LEBLANC

The Honor Bar. Pine Street, one o’clock?

JESI

Perfect.

A call flashes on Jesi’s phone. She answers, listens.

JESI

Yes, this is Jesi Johnson, Jackson Johnson’s daughter.

(listens long and hard)

What do you mean he has IRS debt? Look, I have no one else to turn to here. I have no mother, no siblings. My father just died two months ago, and I’m trying to hold all of this together. Plus pay off his medical debt —

(listens)

A meeting at the IRS? This week? You’re kidding me!

INT. THE HONOR BAR – DAY

Jesi chats with Dr. LeBlanc over lunch. Their energy is electric. It’s an obvious “love at first sight” moment.

JESI

I’m finding out my father’s spending was pretty reckless. I’ve even got the IRS calling me. It turns out he liked to gamble, Doctor LeBlanc. What should I do?

GERARD LEBLANC

Well first, you take one step at a time. Would you like to share some wine?

JESI

I’d love to.

GERARD LEBLANC

How about French Rose?

He calls the WAITER over.

GERALD LEBLANC

A bottle of French Rose. From the Loire Valley if you have it.

The waiter nods and leaves.

GERALD LEBLANC

(grins)

So, let’s talk more about Sinatra.

JESI

I’d love to. And doctor, I fully intend to pay off my father’s debt. I just need more time.

GERALD LEBLANC

It’s Gerry. And I’m giving you all the time you need.

The wine keeps pouring. As the luncheon continues it seems neither wants it to end.

GERALD LEBLANC

Can we do this again? Next time for dinner?

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE/ THE BULLPEN – DAY

Jesi sits at her desk scanning a “Hot Sheet” of the agent’s new listings. Harold’s property is listed at the top. She storms into Henry’s office, stops in the doorway

JESI

So much for sharing Harold’s listing.

She throws her head outside, shouts to A DOZEN AGENTS in the Bullpen. They all look up.

JESI

Hey! You’re all a bunch of narcissists! Every one of you! Well, screw you! I don’t need your leads, and I certainly don’t need help from any damn one of you.

The quiet is deafening. She looks to Henry who is finishing up his Haiku for the day. He hands her the page.

HENRY

This is for you —

She takes it and tears the page into shreds.

JESI

Fuck Haiku. You’re a snake, and this is war! You wouldn’t share Harold’s listing, and I’ll bet money it was you who stole my lead. I am warning you Henry, you’d better guard your clients because I’m going after every one of them, and I mean it.

She storms out as fast as she stormed in. Goes to her cubicle, writes a deadly Haiku that takes a few drafts.

HAIKU

Snake is a good word; When describing Henry Wu; Asshole is better.

She returns to Henry’s office, slaps her Haiku down on his desk.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s Act 2 – Turning Point Mid-point

What I discovered this assignment is the turning points really help define the hero’s journey and add drama to the script.

TIME LAPSE

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – MID-MORNING

Jesi is on the roof, working at a fast pace, calling down to Mario.

JESI

Mario, I need about six more tiles. Send them up on the pully.

Mario stacks the tile and sends it up.

EXT. THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)

Moments later, Henry pulls up in his BMW. Harold goes to the curb to greet him, shakes his hand.

POV

Jesi spots Henry and does not want to get down from that roof. She hides behind a chimney stack. Mario is calling out to her.

MARIO

Hey Jesi, you need any more of those tiles?

ON HENRY

He stops the conversation with Harold and looks to the roof.

HENRY

Who is that up there? Is that Jesi?

HAROLD

Yep, that’s my girl Jesi.

HENRY

(shouts)

Hey, Jesi, get down here. What the hell —

Jesi hesitates, then finally drops down the ladder. She’s in covered in dust and clay from the roof tiles. She approaches the two men.

HENRY

What are you doing here? Why are you up on that roof?

JESI

Oh, didn’t I tell you. My father died and left me his business. I rather like the freedom of it. It’s my grass roots, an environment I can always trust. No back stabbing here —

HENRY

Well, it becomes you —

(in the same breath)

Harold she is just a rookie. You know I’m the best man for the job.

HAROLD

(takes a beat)

Now Jesi, I don’t want you getting upset, but Henry’s right. So I will be listing the property with him. Remember, you are just starting out. You are still grieving, and you’re also busy running Jackson’s construction company. I’m sorry, I need to stay with a top producer.

JESI

Oh, I see —

(looks away, back again)

Henry, congratulations. And Harold I completely understand. But just as a side bar, I now have a project manager to run Johnson Construction, so that I can give my full, undivided attention to real estate.

HENRY

(anxious to leave)

Harold, I’ve got your listing price so I’ll forwarded you the contract digitally.

(avoids eye contact)

Jesi, see you back in the office.

JESI

Yeah, sure Henry.

After Henry leaves, Harold throws a compassionate arm around Jesi’s shoulder.

HAROLD

I’ve got a better plan for you. There’s this bunch of old geeza’s I hang with. We call it “The old boys apartment club.” They’re a scruffy lot, but filthy rich. They scooped up most of their buildings in the 1980’s when cash was king, and you could buy these buildings for a song. Some are even in Newport, on the water. Dear God, those were the good times. Even with the fumbling dictates of Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter. If you’re up for it our monthly get together is tomorrow night, the Harbor Yacht Club.

INT. HARBOR YACHT CLUB (LONG BEACH) – NIGHT

Jesi enters, sees Harold and the good old boys grouped around the bar. She stops, freezes. But Harold sees her and staggers over.

HAROLD

I didn’t think you’ make it. Sure you can handle it.

She nods as they keep walking to the GROUP OF FOURTEEN OLDER, WELL WORN MEN.

HAROLD

It’s pretty noisy, but it gets worse.

(shouts)

Hey fellas, meet Jesi, my protegee. And I must say, one helluva real estate agent. She works the entire coast from Redondo Beach to Laguna. So talk to her about your properties. She’ll trade them up or down whatever you want — besides that she drives a constructions truck, will fix your roofs and plumbing —

Harold takes Jesi’s hand, introduces her to the old codgers one by one. Each of them light up as they speak to her. A few of the men crowd closer, genuinely interested. JIM BAKER (75), JOE SCHMIDT (78), BOSS MULLER (70).

JOE SCHMIDT

Jesi, Joseph Schmidt, you can call me Joe. Who are you with?

JESI

Schindler Investments, Long Beach. Before that I was with — — for ten years. I was their top producer for ten years, but decided to jump into investment properties for the challenge.

JOE SCHMIDT

I sacked my agent last year. I was over him and his games, but I’ve got this thirty unit complex close to Long Beach Harbor. Talk to me — maybe I’ll give you a shot.

The noise pumps up as Jesi sits down with Joe, takes out her phone and enters his information.

INT./EXT. JOHNSON HOME/ OFFICE – DAY

Jesi makes a deal with Mario. Signs him on as an equal partner. They shake hands then walk outside to the Silverado construction truck.

JESI

I know how much my Dad trusted you. Even though he paid you half of what you deserved. So let’s do this! Take it away, the truck is yours.

MARIO

Are you interested in the work at all? I mean, you’re good at it.

JESI

No, my focus has to be on real estate. We’ll hire you a helper.

He honks the heck out of the truck as he waves and drives the truck away.

As Jesi walks back inside the home, her cell is flashing.

JESI

(into phone)

Yes, this is she.

(listens)

I know, I’m very aware that you need payment — but listen to me, I can’t do this unless we work out a payment plan. Look, can I speak to the Doctor. He seemed a reasonable man. What was his name — Doctor LeBlanc?

She waits on the line forever. Finally the doctor comes on.

GERALD LEBLANC

Miss Johnson, I remember you. The Sinatra story —

JESI

Doctor, I knew medical care was expenseive , but had no idea it could reach this amount.

(starts crying)

My father let his bridging insurance lapse —

GERALD LEBLANC

Look, Miss Johnson, I have a surgery scheduled — is it possible to meet somewhere — maybe for lunch? This Saturday I am free —

JESI

Yes, yes, let’s meet.

GERALD LEBLANC

Then The Honor Bar on Pine Street, one o’clock.

Another call is flashing on Jesi’s phone. She answers and listens.

JESI

Yes — I am Jesi Johnson.

(listens, long and hard)

What do you mean he has IRS debt? Look, I have no one else to turn to here. I have no mother, no siblings. My father has just died and I’m trying to hold all this together. Plus pay off his medical debt —

(listens)

A meeting at the IRS,

this week? You’ve got to be kidding me!

INT. THE HONOR BAR – DAY

Jesi is talking with Dr. LeBlanc over lunch.

JESI

I’m learning that my father’s spending was pretty reckless. I’ve even got the IRS calling me — turns out he liked to gamble. Doctor LeBlanc what am I going to do?

GERARD LEBLANC

Well first, you take it a step at a time. Would you like some wine —

JESI

I would love some.

GERARD LEBLANC

Then how about a bottle of French Rose?

She smiles and nods. He calls the WAITER over.

GERALD LEBLANC

A bottle of French Rose — from the Loire Valley if you have it.

As the waiter leaves.

GERALD LEBLANC

(grins)

So let’s talk about Sinatra —

JESI

I want you to know, really, I will pay the debt — you just have to give me time.

As the wine pours and the luncheon continues, it seems neither of them want it to end.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE/ JESI’S CUBICLE – DAY

Jesi storms into Henry’s office. Sees he is finishing up his morning Haiku. He hands the page to her.

HENRY

This is for you —

She rips the Haiku page from his hands, tears it in shreds.

JESI

Fuck Haiku. You’re a snake. And this is war!

HENRY

What!

JESI

You had better guard your clients. I mean it.

She storms out as fast as she stormed in. Goes to her cubicle and writes a deadly Haiku that takes a few drafts.

HAIKU

Snake is a good word, When describing Henry Wu, Although asshole is better

She goes back to Henry’s office, slaps the Haiku on his desk, and leaves.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s Act 2 Middle Scenes

What I learned from this assignment. I am progressing somewhat better today, but still only on page 21 in final draft. Onward and upward!

KEY SCENES # 1 – REACTION TO THE TURNING POINT

PROTAGONIST TAKES ON A PLAN AND EXECUTES – BUT SHE IS UNABLE TO EXECUTE ANY OF HER LEADS: NOT ONLY DOES JESI’S PLAN FAIL, BUT SHE IS FORCED TO RE-START HER FATHER’S BUSINESS.

INT. JOHNSON HOME/ OFFICE – DAY

Jesi flips through a tattered phone book at her father’s desk and locates a number. She picks up the land line and calls.

JESI

(into phone)

Mr. Schuman, this is Jesi Johnson, Jackson’s daughter —

INTERCUT:

INT. SHUMAN HOME (CONTINUOUS)

Harold (Pug) Schuman sits at his desk, smoking a cigar, speaking into the phone.

HAROLD

Jesi, I can’t tell you how sorry I was to here about your father. He wasn’t just my contractor, he was a damn good friend — it was so damn sudden. Just glad it wasn’t my roof he fell off.

JESI

I know. It’s been a dreadful time. And thank you for your kind words,

Mr Schuman.

HAROLD

Yo can call me Pug.

JESI

Alright, Harold, I mean Pug. Also, I was wondering if you had a moment — I’d like to drop by and have a talk with you about my father’s business. I need your guidance.

HAROLD(O.S.)

Sure, honey, anytime. I’ve also got some deferred maintenance I need you to take a look at. Are you still doin’ the handyman repairs?

JESI

Yes, of course, to keep the wolves from the door. But seriously, to pay the doctor bills.

HAROLD

Yeah, those doctor bills can sure wipe out your savings. And by the way, I’m thinking of selling the place.

JESI

Harold, Pug, when is the soonest I can come over?

KEY SCENE #2 PROTAGONIST TAKES ON A PLAN AND EXECUTEDS IT

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING (LONG BEACH) – DAY

Jesi pulls up outside in the Johnson’s Contractor truck. Harrold is there to meet her. They hug. Then both wipe the tears.

HAROLD

One of the tenants just vacated one of my furnished units. Come inside and sit.

INT. FURNISHED UNIT (CONT)

The unit is tired, needs a re-hab.

HAROLD

My roof isn’t doing so well. Are you familiar with those damn caly tiles?

JESI

(she is not)

Sure I am. Got the ladder. I’ll get up there and take a look in a minute.

(pauses)

Harold, Pug, the real reason I’m here is I need your advice regarding the multi-unit real estate business. But trust me, I’m still keeping the construction business going. But in order to make the kind of income I need right now, I’m gonna have to get some listings going —

(blurts out)

Pug, you said you were thinking of selling?

HAROLD

Well, you know, I’d love to give you a break, but I’ve got this agent I’ve used for many years — ever heard of Henry Wu?

JESI

I know him well.

(looks away, then comes back with)

I’ll do a much better job for you. Us rookies try harder. I’ll get you the highest and best value. After all I know this place. I even checked out your crawl space — remember?

HAROLD

That’s right, you’re quite a woman. Now about my roof —

They get up and walk outside.

JESI

Let me go get a ladder.

HAROLD

Wait, isn’t that how your Dad —

JESI

It’s okay. I’m a lot younger, and heck of a lot lighter —

Her face crumbles, but she stuffs the tears as she heads towards the truck.

She returns with an extension ladder, leans it against the building — then hesitates.

JESI

You know, I just started a new helper. Mario, he’s awesome. Maybe I’ll let him climb up there.

HAROLD

Makes sense to me. Send him over tomorrow. And look, I’ll have a talk with Henry, tell him I’m considering another agent. Competition is good and healthy, right?

JESI

Yes, agreed.

She shakes Harold’s hand turns and walks away then stops.

JESI

Oh, Pug, if you don’t mind, please don’t mention to Henry that the other agent is me.

HAROLD

You got it. But don’t take it to the bank. I didn’t say you have the listing yet. Let’s get my roof fixed first.

She walks towards the truck with a smile on her face, the first in a long while.

INT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – NEXT DAY

Jesi pulls up in the truck. She jumps out, with her side-kick MARIO (30), following behind her.

JESI

(to Mario)

Be careful not to break any tiles while you’re up there. They’re a bitch. And no falling off.

MARIO

Nah, not me.

Mario secures the ladder carefully against the building wall and starts to scale it.

Harold pulls up at the same time. Yells out to Jesi. Mario turns around. The ladder falters and Mario falls to the ground. Jesi runs to him

JESI

Oh my God. Mario, are you all right?

Mario is nodding his head, a little stunned. Rubbing his leg.

Harold hurries over.

HARROLD

Damnit. I knew I shoulda renewed my liability insurance!

(looks to Jesi)

You’ve got your own insurance, right?

MARIO

I’m okay. I’m okay. You don’t need no insurance.

Mario starts to re-scale the ladder.

HARROLD

You watch your step, okay. Don’t want no goddamn accidents.

The ladder starts skidding on the stucco wall. Mario falls again. He jumps up. He’s okay. But this time Jesi takes over.

Harold yells out as she starts scaling the ladder.

HARROLD

Jesi, by the way, I called Henry last night. He’s on his way over!

JESI

Oh, I won’t be here that long. I doubt our path’s will cross.

KEY SCENE 3: NOT ONLY DOES HER PLAN FAIL BUT …

TIME LAPSE

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – MID-MORNING

Jesi is on the roof, working at a fast pace, calling down to Mario.

JESI

Mario, I need about six more tiles. Send them up on the pully.

Mario stacks the tile and sends it up.

EXT. THE STREET (CONTINUOUS)

A moment later, Henry pulls up in his BMW. Harold hurries to the curb to greet him, shaking hands.

POV

Jesi sees Henry, and does not want to get down from that roof. She hides behind a chimney stack, and stalls.

Mario is calling out to her.

MARIO

Hey Jesi, need any more of those tiles?

ON HENRY

He stops the conversation with Harold and looks to the roof.

HENRY

What the hell. Is that Jesi up there?

[Rae Rodgers]

30 Day Script – #13

RAE’S ACT 2 (REACTION TO THE TURNING POINT)

What I learned from this assignment – I have been doing these assignments in Word and then retyping into final draft. Could I be doing something wrong here? It’s work!

SCENE 1

INT. SCHLINDER INVESTMENTS – DAY

Jesi approaches her manager, Jason Schindler, busy at his desk. She’s brought him Starbucks coffee. He lifts his gaze for a second then buries his head.

JESI

Can we talk for a sec? Can you help me plan my strategy? I need a breakthrough and I hear you’re the one to help me.

JASON

Who told you that?

JESI

I’ve always leaned on my managers – at least at the start.

JASON

I warned you hon, this in the major league. You’ve gotta know your game inside and out. Thanks for the coffee. I’ve got five minutes. Take a seat.

JESI

Well, you could at least give me some clues – or better yet, some leads.

Jason gets up, grabs a huge directory, dumps it in front of her.

JASON

Investment real estate 101. These are your teachers. The property owners. Just keep calling, pretty soon one of them will stick.

(eyes her slim body)

If they could see you in person it would certainly help. As I said before, it’s a man’s world. Hey sorry, I’ve got an eleven o’clock. Why don’t you go on down to The Shores, target some of those twenty unit buildings, knock on the manager’s doors. You got the looks, maybe they’ll spring some owner’s info for you.

Jason slips on his jacket and then whips out the door.

JESI

Thanks for nothing.

MONTAGE:

EXT. STREETS OF APARTMENT BUILDINGS (BELMONT SHORES) – DAY

Jesi goes building to building knocking on Manager’s doors. Only two open – BOTH MANAGERS are tight lipped, will reveal nothing. She continues door knocking for one week without results.

INT. MANAGERS OFFICE – DAY

Jesi continues to ask Jason for listing or buyer leads. Brings him Starbucks daily, with a smile.

END MONTAGE:

ONE WEEK LATER

INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE

Jesi knocks and storms in. She IS NOT bearing coffee!

JESI

I want a lead, NOW! You promised me!

Jason looks and says nothing. Then flips through his Day Planner, scribbles a name, address and phone number on an index card and hands it to her.

JASON

He’s got twenty units he’s thinking of selling. Don’t blow it!

INT. JESI’S CUBICLE – LATER

Jesi returns from a break. Looks for the index card. It’s missing! She storms over to Jason’s office. The door is locked. She goes straight to Henry’s office.

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE

Henry’s writing Haiku. He invites Jesi to sit.

JESI

Was it you? Did you steal my, my lead?

HENRY

Absolutely not! Hey, sit a minute, I wanna read this to you —

She storms out of Henry’s office, slams his door, goes back to the Bull Pen, stands there defiantly.

JESI (shouts to the agents)

Hey you! You assholes! Who was it? Which one of you sleazebags stole my lead!

The AGENTS keep their heads down, faking busy. Michael steps in and takes her arm. She shakes free.

MICHAEL

Hey Jesi, you must have misplaced it. Come, and I’ll help you look for it.

JESI (shouts back to agents)

I know one of you assholes stole it! Your reputation precedes you!

[Rae Rodgers]

30 Day Script – #12

Rae’s finished Act 1

What I learned is, as each lesson unfolds this story is taking on a life. However, I’m hoping I’m doing this correctly and not posting too many pages!

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE / MAIN BATHROOM (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON (38), lifts the entire toilet solo and then places it to one side. While her father JACKSON (68), is kicked back in a recliner watching TV, calling out instructions.

JACKSON

So, you turned off the water, pulled off the toilet? Now do you see that wax seal underneath? Well you need to replace it then put the toilet back on, okay honey?

JESI

Got it, Dad.

Jesi makes the repairs, resets the toilet and then tightens the screws at the base. While Jackson is till kicked back in his recliner watching TV.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Did you tighten those screws and put the toilet back on?

JESI

(still tightening screws)

Of course, Dad.

JACKSON (O.S.)

That’s my girl. You know, if you’re ever gonna run my truck, you gotta know this stuff.

JESI

(to herself)

Not any time soon, Dad.

As Jesi cleans up at the sink, we see a beautiful long limbed, well-toned woman. There’s an air of grace and confidence that says she knows who she is.

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – SAME DAY

A Silverado double cab contractors utility truck pulls up. “Johnson Contractor Services” etched on both sides. Jackson jumps out, meets owner HAROLD SHUMAN (60). Jesi buckles on a tool belt, grabs some coveralls, and follows.

JACKSON

Hey Chuck, how’s it going? Meet my daughter Jesi, my apprentice for the day.

HAROLD

A chip off the old block, eh.

JESI

Well first of all I’m a real estate agent. But it doesn’t hurt to know the trades, right?

HAROLD

(strides ahead)

It’s the rear unit. Goddamn tenant left the bath water running then breezed off to work for the day.

JACKSON

Good thing you’ve got a raised foundation, so all that water has some place to go.

JESI

Did you call for a mold inspection, Sir?

HARROLD

It’s Harrold, or Spud if you like.

JACKSON (TEASES)

Spud! You’re kidding me!

JESI

Dad! That’s rude.

HARROLD

Nah, Jackson and I are buddies. But back to those mold inspection companies, they are all a rip off. They find mold no matter what. You should know, you’re in real estate.

Harold unlocks the rear unit door, complaining. A German Shepherd leaps at him, growling hard.

HAROLD

She didn’t tell me she had a goddamn dog. And of course there’s no deposit. I’m sick of these fly by night goddamn tenants. I’m gonna sell the goddamn place.

Jesi calms the dog down so that they can all enter.

JESI

Mr. Schuman, if you really do want to sell I know a great agent —

HARROLD

Thanks, but I got my guy Henry, Schindler Investments. I know the broker owner as well. I can get you a job there if you want.

JACKSON

(grins)

Hey Spud, where’s your crawl space again?

HARROLD

(grind back)

Right over there. That wire gated trap door.

A rusty wire grated trap door is located beside the building. Jesi slips into the coveralls, opens the trap door, disappears under the building. Harold throws Jackson a look.

JACKSON

Yep, she’s a go getter.

Minutes later Jesi exits the crawl space covered in mud.

JESI

It’s a cesspool under there —

INT. REAL ESTATE OFFICE – DAY

The office broker hands Jesi a check. She gapes and throws it back at him.

JESI

You’re kidding me! You took fifty percent of my commission! My cut is eighty! I slaved over those asshole sellers for six months and this is what I get?

TIME LAPSE

Jesi has packed up her desk. She’s saying goodbye to her fellow AGENTS. Her best friend GIZELLE won’t stop hugging. Gizelle is tall and slim, and can’t help but look sexy.

GIZELLE

Are you sure about this, hon?

(off her nod)

How will I survive without you?

JESI

(leaving)

Come visit. Schindler Investment Properties. The office is drowning in testosterone. I’m their first female agent in a long while, or maybe ever.

She smiles, leaves with the stack of boxes.

INT. SCHINDLER INVESTMENTS (DAY)

The halls and offices are crawling with MALE AGENTS.

Jesi enters the managers office. JASON SCHINDLER (55) is good looking, direct, imposing. He shoots Jesi a smile and then hands it to her straight.

JASON

Right, I’m giving you sixty days to make a deal and bring us an A-list client. As for leads, they go mainly to the big producers. Look, I’ll try to slip you one here and there, but you can’t count on it, okay.

JESI

It’s okay. I know it will be an uphill battle, but then I’m used to finding my own way. So, where is my office?

POV

HENRY WU (42), watches intently from a glass enclosed office as Jake steers Jesi to a cubicle. He has beyond good looks, a mix of Asian and Euro. Also has a reserve that no man or woman can read.

Jesi follows Jason, all geared for her own private office. Instead he leads her to a cubicle in the middle of the bull pen.

JESI

Wait a minute. What happened to my private office? When we interviewed, you told me —

She protests, but it makes no difference. She’s now stuck in a bull pen with TWENTY SALES MEN.

JASON

Not to worry, Suze will take care of your orientation.

He calls SUZE HICKS (30), the assistant manager, over for the orientation. He can’t wait to leave.

JASON

Now Jesi, you give a yell if there’s anything you need, okay.

Suze steps in as he leaves.

SUZE

Okay girl, let’s go over these rules. Number one rule, this is a man’s world. But you already know this —

Henry approaches, interrupts the two women. He’s smooth, clean cut, bordering on elegant. His suit is stylized, immaculate. He and Jesi have immediate chemistry, hands down.

HENRY

Hey there.

(extends a hand)

Henry Wu. Jesi, right? Can I ask who you came from, I mean your brokerage company? Who and where you plan on prospecting? Your track record, etcetera —

JESI

(she’s heard enough)

Well, actually, you could say I’m a rookie. I’m starting clean, which means I’m hungry, so you’d better watch out. But hey, if you ever decide to share your leads, then I’m all ears.

HENRY

(laughs)

I wasn’t quite expecting that. Well, if you need anything — I’m right next door.

As he leaves, Suze throws Jesi a look, then waits a minute.

SUZE

Don’t believe a freaking word he says. Trust me, they’re all snakes. He’ll steal any lead you happen to name drop, or accidently leak. You’ve gotta hide them, everyone, every single lead. They are all toxic in here, every one of them. And by the way, don’t keep your leads on that computer. They’ll hack into them. Keep you names, addresses and contact info, on your old fashioned index cards, and keep them under lock and key. Better yet, take them home with you.

JESI

C’mon, be serious. I hear it gets pretty lethal, but not that bad.

Jesi returns to her cubicle to orient herself, and is looking quite lost.

TIME LAPSE

MICHAEAL FIORE (40), the office nice guy, throws his head inside Jesi’s cubicle. He’s obviously Italian, has great looks, and is immediately likeable.

MICHAEL

Hey, I’m Michael. I hear you just started. Man it’s nice to see a pretty face.

JESI

Thanks, but I prefer to be genderless if that’s okay, or even possible. I just want to work, don’t want my gender working against me.

MICHAEL

How do you like the bull pen?

JESI

The what?

JACKSON

It’s what we call these cubicles. The bull pen.

JESI

(smiles)

Watch me. I won’t be here long.

Jesi bursts out laughing. Most of the agents stop work, and for the first time check her out, pretty satisfied with what they see.

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Jesi walks in exhausted. Frank Sinatra is blasting through the room, the song, “The Summer Wind.” She smiles, goes over and kisses her Dad on the forehead.

JACKSON

Hey baby, how was the first day? Want me to turn it down.

JESI

No, it’s all good, Dad.

JACKSON

It was one of your Mom and my favorites —

JESI

I know.

JACKSON

I guess you’ve heard it a few times, right?

JESI

(grins)

Would you believe a few hundred?

JACKSON

Can’t help it. Sinatra is how we met —

JESI

I love your story Dad, keeps me close to Mom, but not tonight.

JACKSON

Hey, are you okay?

JESI

I’m okay — how was your day? Did you dry out the unit?

JACKSON

Yeah, we put half a dozen fans down there and it did the job.

JESI

That’s great, Daddy.

Jesi leaves the room, returns with a glass of wine, sits with him.

JACKSON

Tell me about this new job. Did they give you any leads?

JESI

No, not one. But I’m not turning it into a big problem.

JACKSON

Shit, I thought leads were a given.

JESI

Dad, they lied to me. The company leads are channeled straight to the top producers.

Sinatra blasts out. This time with, “Come Fly with Me.” Jackson listens a minute and then turns down the volume.

JACKSON

You know, this song is why I left Ohio, and why your Mum left Virginia — only for us to meet in London.

JESI

I know Dad, it’s a lovely story.

(sips wine)

I’ve been thinking all day — I’m gonna need to change my game plan, Dad. And I was wondering, how many apartment owners you know? How well you actually know them?

JACKSON

Hmmm, I’d say around sixty or so. Been doing this a long time.

JESI

Can I get a copy of that list? Names, addresses, phone numbers?

JACKSON

Why would you wanna do that?

JESI

I was thinking they could be my future client base.

JACKSON

Wow. You don’t muck around, do you my girl?

(takes a beat)

Look sweetie, those dudes have all got leasing agents. They’ve got this clause in their contracts where the agents get the listing —

JESI

Not all of them. It’s worth a try, Dad. At least it’s a place to start.

JACKSON

Okay baby, okay. Then let’s do it. Let’s jump in and play their game.

INT. THE BULL PEN – NEXT DAY

Jesi arrives early at her desk, starts making cold calls from the Apartment Owner’s Directory.

JESI

(into phone)

Mister Wyman, my name is Jesi Johnson. I’m with Schindler Investments. How are you today?

(stops, listens)

Well sir, you may not be thinking of selling your property at this very moment, but — sir, sir?

She gets a disconnect. She takes a breathe, calls another. A few hours later she’s on speed dial. Until Suze interrupts.

SUZE

Jesi, sorry to interrupt but it’s important. It’s your father. There was an accident. He’s in the hospital —

Jesi flies out of her cubicle, runs through and out the office.

INT. HOSPITAL (LOS ANGELES) – NIGHT

Jesi sits at her father’s bedside. She closes his eyelids, gently strokes his head, then sits and slowly strokes his hand. He has passed, but she can’t accept this. Finally the male DOCTOR interrupts.

DOCTOR

Miss Johnson, I’m so sorry. You see, his fall caused a hemorrhage, and then his heart wasn’t strong enough.

Jesi is crying, shaking her head, accepting nothing. Then finally, through her tears.

JESI

Do you know how my Dad and my mother met? It was because of Frank Sinatra and their love of his music. They had a mutual love affair with every song he ever sang, starting with his “Songs for Swinging Lovers” and “Come Fly with Me” albums. Those songs propelled them both to London, Paris and Rome. Then, once there, a mutual friend heard about their Sinatra addiction and insisted they meet each other. It was at a party in West London in the mid seventies, they danced to Sinatra all night long. It was hard to pin down my father’s all time favorite song, but I think it was “The Summer Wind.”

Finally she breaks down sobbing.

INT. JOHNSON HOME – LATE AT NIGHT

SUPERIMPOSE: THREE MONTHS LATER

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE / HOME OFFICE – DAY

Jesi makes morning coffee, turns on a Sinatra song, goes to her fathers office. It’s disheveled, just like he was. She wades through his books, opens his client log. It’s a mess, crammed with client names and addresses.

INT. JOHNSON HOME / LIVING ROOM/ OFFICE – DAY

Jesi wanders around aimlessly, finally pours some wine, then curls up in her father’s recliner and cries her heart out.

TIME LAPSE

Jesi polishes off her wine, gets up and goes to her father’s office.

Jesi flips through a stack of bills, checks the file cabinet, pulls the Lender’s Bank file. Jackson has a reverse mortgage with very little equity left.

She opens a sealed envelope marked, “Jesi” and reads:

JACKSON (V.O.)

Dearest girl, if I should die any time soon, and I probably will, do whatever you have to do with the business. Sell it. Run it yourself, because you’d be great at it. But whatever happens I’m asking you to hang onto our home. Keep it in the family, give it your kid’s. Do it for your mother and me, please. Also, you must keep our Sinatra collection. Don’t give it up. Play those songs often, for you, for they will keep you happy.

She wipes her tears, then takes a 78 record from the sleeve, puts Sinatra’s “Songs for Swinging Lovers” on the turntable and turns up the volume.

She sits down and cries. Then after a while she opens the client book up again, flips the pages. She then picks up the phone, sucks a breathe and dials a number.

JESI

(into phone)

Mr. Shuman, this is Jesi Johnson.

(pauses)

I don’t know if you heard, but my father has died.

(chokes up, listens)

Thank you Mr. Shuman. I also want you to know that I’ll be taking over his business.

(listens)

Well, thank you Chuck. And yes, I may have to hire a helper or two, but —

(listens)

Yes, of course, I definitely can handle it.

INT. OFFICE CUBICLE – TWO WEEKS LATER

Jesi sits at her desk. She’s on the phone with the Doctor’s office, her father’s surgeon.

JESI

What do you mean there’s still a large balance? My father’s got Medicare!

(listens)

What does that mean? He’s let his bridging insurance lap.

(listens)

And the balance is still that much, over a million?! You’re freaking kidding me!”

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – Day#11

Rae’s Turning Point 1 Scenes.

What I learned from this assignment is, great process – my script is now beginning to flow.

OUTLINE – ACT 1 TURNING POINT

BEGINNING:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – DAY

Jesi awakens, looks a mess, makes coffee. Goes to the living room, collapse into her father’s recliner and cries.

She goes to the office next, finds a letter marked, “Jesi.” It reads, “ My sweet girl, if I should die whatever you do try to hold onto the house – do it for me and your mother. And keep the Sinatra collection, those songs will make you happy.”

MIDDLE:

INT. OFFICE CUBICLE – TWO WEEKS LATER

Jesi is at her desk, on the phone with her father’s Doctor’s office. Learns her father had no bridging insurance, and the surgery bill alone is over one million.

Jesi replies, “What do you mean he’s got Medicare! She listens. “He let his bridging insurance payments lap? He owes that much? Holy Shit!”

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – DAY

She barges into Henry’s office and says, “I need a friend. But more that that I need leads. Can you help me drum up a few clients?”

She then realizes Henry is completely emersed in something. She asked what it is. He shows her his Haiku. Asks her to sit, shows her the format, tells her it’s a stress reliever. She sits for awhile, but soon gets impatient with the process, thanks Henry and leaves.

END:

INT. OFFICE CUBICLE (CONTINUOUS)

Jesi sits at her desk, throws her head in her hands, looks up and makes a call to her father’s client, the apartment owner. She tells him she is now running Johnson Construction and wants to set up a meeting. And yes, she will be doing all of the building repairs.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – Day#10

Rae’s Turning Point 1 Scenes.

What I learned from this assignment is, great process – my script is now beginning to flow.

OUTLINE – ACT 1 TURNING POINT

BEGINNING:

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – DAY

Jesi awakens, looks a mess, makes coffee. Goes to the living room, collapse into her father’s recliner and cries.

She goes to the office next, finds a letter marked, “Jesi.” It reads, “ My sweet girl, if I should die whatever you do try to hold onto the house – do it for me and your mother. And keep the Sinatra collection, those songs will make you happy.”

MIDDLE:

INT. OFFICE CUBICLE – TWO WEEKS LATER

Jesi is at her desk, on the phone with her father’s Doctor’s office. Learns her father had no bridging insurance, and the surgery bill alone is over one million.

Jesi replies, “What do you mean he’s got Medicare! She listens. “He let his bridging insurance payments lap? He owes that much? Holy Shit!”

INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – DAY

She barges into Henry’s office and says, “I need a friend. But more that that I need leads. Can you help me drum up a few clients?”

She then realizes Henry is completely immersed in something. She asked what it is. He shows her his Haiku. Asks her to sit, shows her the format, tells her it’s a stress reliever. She sits for awhile, but soon gets impatient with the process, thanks Henry and leaves.

END:

INT. OFFICE CUBICLE (CONTINUOUS)

Jesi sits at her desk, throws her head in her hands, looks up and makes a call to her father’s client, the apartment owner. She tells him she is now running Johnson Construction and wants to set up a meeting. And yes, she will be doing all of the building repairs.

[Rae Rodgers]

Rae’s Inciting Incident:

Outline key Scenes 2&3 for Act I.

What I learned this assignment is the story flows beautifully when you let it and give up the struggle.

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – NIGHT

Jesi walks in exhausted. While Frank Sinatra is blasting out, “The Summer Wind.” She smiles, goes over and kisses her Dad’s forehead.

JACKSON

Hey baby, want me to turn it down.

JESI

No, it’s all good, Dad.

JACKSON

It was one of your Mom and my favorites —

JESI

I know.

JACKSON

I guess you’ve heard it a few times, right?

JESI

(grins)

Like, a couple of hundred.

JACKSON

I can’t help it. Sinatra is how we met. Are you okay?

JESI

I love your story Dad, keeps me close to Mom, but not tonight. How Was your day? Did you dry out the unit?

JACKSON

Yeah, we put half a dozen fans down there.

Jesi pours a glass of wine, sits with him.

JACKSON

Tell me about your move. Any leads?

JESI

No. It could be a big problem.

JACKSON

Shit, I thought it was a given.

JESI

No, they lied to me. They’re channeled straight to the top producers.

Sinatra blasts out again, this time with, “Come Fly with Me.” Jackson turns up the volume.

JACKSON

You know this song is why I left Ohio and your Mum left Virginia — only to meet in London.

JESI

I know Dad, and it’s a lovely story.

(sips her wine)

I’m gonna need to change my game plan, Dad. I was wondering — how many apartment owners you know? And how well you actually know them?

JACKSON

Hmmm, I’d say sixty, minimum. Been doing this a long time.

JESI

Can I get your list?

JACKSON

Because?

JESI

I was thinking — they could be my future client base.

JACKSON

Sweetie, those dudes have all got leasing agents. They’ve got this clause in their contracts where the agents get the listing.

JESI

Not all of them. It’s worth a try. It’s a place to start.

JACKSON

Okay baby, okay. Then let’s do it. Let’s jump in, play their game.

INT. THE BULL PEN – NEXT DAY

Jesi arrives early at her desk, starts making cold calls from the Apartment Owner’s Directory.

JESI

(into phone)

Mister Shuster, how are you? I’m Jesi with Schuler Investment Properties. Sir, you may not be thinking of selling at this moment, but — Sir?

She gets a disconnect, calls another. Soon she’s on speed dial.

A few hours later Suze interrupts.

SUZE

Um, Jesi, sorry to interrupt but it’s important. It’s your father. There was an accident. He’s in the hospital —

INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT

Jesi sits at her father’s bedside. She gently strokes his eyelids, his head, then sits and slowly strokes his hand. He has passed but she can’t accept this. Finally the male DOCTOR interrupts.

DOCTOR

Jesi, I’m so sorry, but the fall caused a hemorrhage, and his heart wasn’t strong enough.

Jesi’s crying, shaking her head, accepting nothing. Then finally, through her tears.

JESI

Do you know how he and my mother met? It was because of Frank Sinatra and his music. They had this mutual love affair, with every song he ever sang. Starting with the “Come Fly with Me” album. It propelled them both to London, Paris and Rome. and once there, a mutual friend heard about their addiction and insisted they meet each other. It was at a party in London, the mid seventies, they danced to Sinatra all night long. It’s hard to pin down my father’s favorite song, but I think it was “The Summer Wind.”

She finally breaks down sobbing.

SUPERIMPOSE: THREE MONTHS LATER

INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE / HOME OFFICE – DAY

Jesi makes morning coffee, turns on a Sinatra song, goes to her fathers office. It’s disheveled, like he was. She wades through his books, opens a client log. It’s messy, crammed with client names, addresses.

She sits and cries, then opens the book again, picks up the phone and dials a number.

JESI

(into phone)

Mr. Shuman, this is Jesi Johnson.

(pauses)

Mr. Shuman, I don’t know if you heard, but my father has died.

(chokes up, then listens)

Thank you Mr. Shuman. I also wanted you to know that I will be taking over his business.

(listens)

Well, thank you Chuck, and yes, I may have to hire a helper or two, but I definitely can handle it.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 Day Script – #9

Rae’s ACT 1 Opening scenes:

What I learned from this assignment is, well actually this process was a bit confusing, not sure I got it right but I am wading through this.

PROTAGONIST #1

INT. RESIDENCE (LONG BEACH) – DAY

JESI JOHNSON (38), removes the lid of the toilet, repairs the broken chain, tightens screws at the base. Her father JACKSON (68), is kicked back in a recliner watching the game.

JACKSON (O.S.)

Did you tighten those screws, put the lid back on?

JESI

(struggling to tighten screws)

Of course.

JACKSON (O.C.)

If you’re gonna run my truck someday you gotta know this stuff.

EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – SAME DAY

A Silverado double cab contractors utility truck pulls up. “Johnson Contractor Services” etched on both sides. Jackson jumps out, meets the owner CHUCK EGRET (60). Jesi puts on a tool belt and follows.

JACKSON

Hey Chuck how’s it going? Meet my girl Jesi, my apprentice for the day.

CHUCK

Jackson, Jesi. A chip off the old block.

JESI

Well, first I’m a real estate agent. But it doesn’t hurt to know the trade, right?

CHUCK

(strides ahead)

It’s the rear unit. Goddamn tenant left the bath water running then breezed off to work for the day.

JACKSON

Good thing you got a raised foundation, so all that water had somewhere to go.

JESI

Did you call for a mold inspection?

CHUCK

Nah, all they do is rip you off. They always find mold. You should know — you’re in real estate.

Chuck unlocks the rear unit door, still complaining. A German Shepherd jumps on him, growling.

CHUCK

She didn’t say there was a goddamn dog. Of course there’s no deposit. I’m sick of this, should sell the goddamn place.

Jesi calms the dog down, so that all three can enter.

JESI

If you’re gonna sell, I know a great agent —

CHUCK

Nah, thanks, I got my guy, Henry. Marple & Sage Investments.

JACKSON

Where’s the crawl space again?

CHUCK

Right over there.

Chuck points to a rusty wire grated trap door beside the building. Jesi steps into coveralls, opens the door and disappears under the building. Chuck throws Jackson a look.

JACKSON

Yep, she’s a go getter.

Minutes later Jesi exits from the crawl space covered in mud and —

JESI

God, it’s a cesspool under there —

ANTAGONIST #1 – JAKE SCHREIBER

INT. BRADSHAW INVESTMENT PROPERTIES (DAY)

The halls and offices are crawling with MALE AGENTS.

Jesi enters the manager’s office. JAKE SCHRIEBER is imposing, direct, gives it to her straight.

JAKE

This is a swing out. I’m giving you sixty days to make a deal, bring in an A-list client. As for leads, they go mainly to the big producers. I might manage to slip you one here and there.

JESI

It’s all right. I’ll find my own way.

Antagonist #1

POV

HENRY WU (40), watches Jesi intently from behind his glass enclosed office.

Jesi is geared for a private office. Jake steers her to a cubicle instead. She protests, but it makes no difference. She’s stuck in a bull pen with TWENTY SALESMEN. Jake leaves and delegates Jesi’s orientation to SUZE HICKS (30), a pretty black assistant manager.

SUZE

Girl, let me read you the rules. Number one, this is a man’s world.

ANTAGONIST #2

Henry ventures over to the two women. He and Jesi have immediate chemistry.

HENRY

Hello there. Henry Wu. Jesi, right? May I ask about your former office? Your neighborhood, track record?

JESI

Well actually, there are none. I’m a rookie — starting clean so watch out. And if you want to share any of your leads — I’m all ears.

HENRY

(laughs)

Well, if you need anything other than that –

He smiles as he leaves.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – #8

What I learned from this assignment is, the organization is good and my story is falling into place.

USING MY BEAT SHEET

THE MAIN BEATS: ANTAGONIST

THE THEME: 1. SOMETIMES LIFE TAKES ONE TOO MANY TURNS – WHEN ALL WE NEED IS LOVE

INTERWEAVE THE THEME THROUGH OUT THE BEAT SHEET:

1. JESI EXITS RESIDENTIAL REAL ESTATE TO GET HER WEEKENDS BACK, BESIDES SHE’S NO LONGER CHALLENGED BY IT. A FELLOW SALESMAN TELLS HER SHE’LL NEVER MAKE IT IN INVESTMENT & COMMERCIAL SALES, THAT SHE’S SETTING HERSELF UP FOR FAILURE. JESI TELLS HER TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

2. JESI IS CONVINCED THE WAY TO BREAK INTO THE INVESTMENT REAL ESTATE ARENA, BUILD HER SKILLS, IS TO SURROUND HERSELF WITH MEN SHE CAN LEARN FROM. SHE STARTS WITH MICHAEL FIORE WHOS IS THE MR NICE GUY IN THE OFFICE.

3. FIRST WEEK ON THE JOB JESI GETS STEERED TO A CUBICLE INSTEAD OF A PRIVATE OFFICE – A DEFINITE DOWNGRADE FROM WHAT SHE’S GROWN USED TO IN RESIDENTIAL. IN FACT, THE WHOLE INVESTMENT SCENE IS SO FAR A DOWNGRADE. STILL, SHE SMILES HER WAY THROUGH IT, IT’S GOING TO GET BETTER. BUT IT’S CLEAR HER FELLOW SALESMEN ARE ALL NARCIIISISTS GUARDING THEIR CLIENT LEADS AND STEALING OTHERS. SHE TRIES KILLING THEM ALL WITH HER NICENESS BUT IT’S NOT WORKING. HER COMPETION DOESN’T CARE.

4. JESI CHECKS IN WITH HER NEW MANAGER ROBERT DAILY, BUT CLIENT LEADS AREN’T COMING AS PROMISED. SHE PUTS ON A BRAVE FACE, BRINGS HIM STARBUCKS, PICKS HIS BRAIN, HOUNDS HIM DAILY – TO THE POINT WHERE HE’S AVOIDING HER.

5. A MONTH ON THE JOB, WITH NO SUBSTANTIAL LEADS, JESI SHIFTS HER FOCUS, TARGETS THE INDIVIDUAL SALESMEN TO LEARN FROM THEM, STARTING WITH MICHAEL WHO IS A PUSHOVER. HE SHARES ALL OF THE TOP PRODUCER’S SECRETS. TELLS HER HOW THEY STEAL EACH OTHERS LEADS AND IT IS CUTTHROAT.

6. TWO MONTHS ON THE JOB JESI GETS HER FIRST LISTING, A TWENTY UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING. SHE SHARES IT OPENLY WITH THE OFFICE. MICHAEL REVEALS SHE’S BECOME A A THREAT TO THE OTHER BROKERS.

7. MONTHE THREE JESI HAS HAD TWO OF HER LEADS STOLEN, LEARNS QUICKLY HOW TO PLAY THE OTHER BROKER’S GAME. STORES HER LEADS AND CLIENT INFO ON INDEX CARDS AND KEEPS THEM UNDER LOCK AND KEY. NOTHING GETS STORED ON HER COMPUTER.

8. JESI LEARNS TO PLAY THEIR GAME. MISLEADS THEM INTO THINKING SHE IS SOFT HEADED AND EASY PREY.

9. JESI TRIES BEFRIENDING TOP COMPANY PRODUCER HENRY – HE LEADS HER ON AT FIRST BUT SAFEGUARDS ALL OF HIS CLIENTS.

10. JESI WALKS IN ON HENRY WHEN HE’S WRITING HAIKUS. HE SHARES THE CRAFT WITH HER AND SHE IS IMMEDIATELY ADICTED. TELLS HIM SHE’S WRITTEN POETRY HER WHOLE LIFE BUT NEVER SHARED IT.

11. FOUR MONTHS ON THE JOB, THREE CLIENT CONTACTS STOLEN, JESI HAS A BREAKDOWN – THEN A BREAKTHROUGH ON HOW TO BUILD PROPERTY OWNER RELATIONSHIPS. BY NOW SHE KNOWS THE PRODUCT, THE INVENTORY, SO WHY NOT BUILD RELATIONSHIPS DIRECTLY WITH THE OWNERS, HANDS ON, BY DOING SMALL NEEDED REPAIRS ON THEIR PROPERTIES – A HANDIMAN SERVICE. SHE’S DONE THE HOME REPAIRS ON HER LISTINGS FROM DAY ONE.

12. MONTH SEVEN, JESI’S HANDIMAN BUSINESS IS BOOMING, IT’S A “CLIENT MAGNET.” THE WEALTHY MALE CLIENTS ALL LOVE HER. THIS DRIVES HER MALE COMPETITION CRAZY.

13. MONTH NINE JESI’S CLIENT BASE IS GAINING MORE MOMENTEM THAN THE TOP PRODUCERS. JESI GETS THE MANAGER ATTENTION FIRST, THEN OF COURSE HENRY’S. AT FIRST HE’S AMUSED, BUT WHEN ONE OF HIS SOLID CLIENTS SWITCHES HIS PROPERTYS AND FULL LOYALTY TO JESI HE IS FURIOUS.

14. MONTH TWELVE, JESI GAINS TOP PRODUCER STATUS – BECOMES ROOKIE OF THE YEAR. THE HAIKU SESSIONS STOP WITH HENRY – AND SHE MISSES THEM. BUT HE HAS SHUT HER OUT.

15. MONTHS LATER JESI CAN’T JUGGLE HER PROPERTY REPAIR BIZ AND SERVE HER CLIENTS AS WELL, HIRES AN ASSISTANT BUT IT’S STILL NOT ENOUGH. SHE SELLS THE BUSINESS TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER – HENRY GETS TURNED DOWN.

16. JESI’S CLIENT LIST HAS TOPPED ONE HUNDRED AND SHE IS BURNT OUT, HAS TO GET AWAY, DELEGATES TO MICHAEL BUT NOT SURE HE CAN HANDLE IT. HER FELLOW BROKERS ARE OFFERING TO BUY HER CLIENT BASE. SHE LEAVES FOR A CMAPSIDE RETREAT, HEADS OFF IN A CAMPER ALONE.

17. IN THE WOODS JESI REFLECTS, MEDITATES, GETS CLOSE TO OTHER CAMPERS, ALL YOUNG FAMILIES. TALKS WITH THME ABOUT HAVING KIDS, BUT SHE’S FORTY, HAS NO RELATIONSHIP.

18. JESI RETURNS TO THE OFFICE BUT HER NEW PROSPECT PURSUITS ARE REPLACED WITH A DESIRE FOR MOTHERHOOD. JUST ONE BABY, THAT’S ALL SHE WANTS BUT IT HAS TO HAPPEN SOON FOR SHE’S TURNING FORTY. SHE SHARES THIS WITH MICHAEL AND HE OFFERS HIS SPERM, AND HIS BODY, BUT SHE KNOWS DEEP DOWN HE IS A MOMMY’S BOY WHO JUST WANTS TO CHEF.

19. JESI STARTS AN ON-LINE SEARCH – FIRST DATE “IT’S LOVE AT FIRST LOG IN!”

20. NOW SHE’S PREGNANT AND ALSO JUGGLING THE CAREER AND HANDIMAN BIZ. MICHAEL JUMPS IN TO HELP AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP CHANGES. SUDDENLY HE’S MORE INTERESTING TO JESI THAN THE SPERM DONOR.

PASS #2

BUILD IN THE ANTAGONIST JOURNEY

1. HENRY COERSES THE OFFICE MANAGER, MAKES UP A STORY, JESI IS TOO HORMONAL, DEVOID OF ANY PURPOSE OR STRUCTURE – A TYPICAL FEMALE, ALL OVER THE BOARD.

2. HENRY IS IMPRESSED WHEN JESI STARTS BUILDING HER CLIENT BASE THROUGH HER HOME REPAIR BIZ. BUT THIS SOON TURNS TO A GUARDED ATTEMPT TO HIDE HIS OWNERS LOG FROM HER, NOT SHARE ANY OF HIS PROSPECTS OR HIS LEADS.

3. JESI’S HOME REPAIR BIZ IS HUGELY SUCCESSFUL AND HENRY IS WORRIED. HIS CLIENTS ARE BECOMING HER CLIENTS WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE. HE STARTS STALKING JESI – LOOKING FOR CLUES AS TO HOW SHE PULLED THIS OFF – HOW COULD SHE BE THIS SUCCESSFUL?

4. HENRY DECIIDES TO DISTRACT AND CAPTIVATE HER IN OTHER WAYS – THROUGH HAILU. HE STARTS HIS DAY BY WRITING A HAIKU JUST FOR HER – THEN STARTS WRITING THEM WITH HER – LOOKS FOR COMPETITIONS – ANYTHING TO DISTRACT HER FROM THE BUSINESS.

5. YEAR TWO IN THE BIZ, SUFFERING FROM BURNOUT, JESI TAKES OFF ON A CAMPING TRIP. WHEN SHE RETURNS, ASKS HENRY TO BE HER SPERM DONOR. HE REFUSES, IT’S NOT PART OF HIS PLAN. BUT NOW HE’S LOOKING AT HER DIFFERENTLY – FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER.

6. HENRY TELLS JESI HE LOVES HER BUT SHE DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR A MAN. BESIDE WHEN SHE ADDS A NEWBORN CHILD TO HER AGENDA ALL OF HER TIME WILL BE INVESTED THERE.

7. HE’S HURT, REJECTED – HE REVOLTS AND SHUTS DOWN THEIR HAIKU ADVENTURE. BUT HE MISSES HER MORE THAN SHE MISSES HIM.

8.

9. HENRY’S JEALOUS BECAUSE JESI HAS MOVED ON TO MICHAEL, BROUGHT HIM INTO HER HOUSE HELP BUSINESS – AND NOW MICHAEL HAS ALSO BEEN BUSY CONVINCING HER TO HAVE HIS BABY.

10. HENRY’S ONLY HOPE IS TO OFFER JESI A SHARE OF HIS CLIENTS JESI AND A PARTNERSHIP. OR ELSE HE FEELS ALL IS LOST. THROUGH ALL THIS HENRY IS SOFTENING, NOT SO CUT THROAT, AND EVERYONE IS NOTICING THIS CHANGE BUT HIM.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – DAY 7 (LIST THE MAIN BEATS OF ANTAGONIST)

THE THEME: LIFE TAKES TOO MANY TURNS

What I learned in this assignment is, when I let the story flow in beats through these two characters… the ideas just kept coming and wouldn’t stop.

PASS #1

INTERWEAVE THE THEME THROUGH OUT THE BEAT SHEET:

1. JESI THINKS ALL SHE WANTS IS TO KEEP EXPANDING HER REAL ESTATE SKILLS BY SURROUNDING HERSELF WITH MEN SHE CAN LEARN FROM.

2. SHE LEARNS IT’S NOT THAT EASY, FINDS THE MEN ARE NARCIIISISTS WHO GUARD THEIR EVERY CLIENT LEAD.

3. SHE’S SURPRISED AND DELIGHTED THAT SHE APPEARS THIS BIG A THREAT TO THEM.

4. JESI LEARNS TO PLAY THEIR GAME. MISLEADS THEM INTO THINKING SHE IS SOFT HEADED AND EASY PREY.

5. HER HANDIMAN BUSINESS BECOMES HER BIGGEST DISTRACTION – DRIVES HER MALE COMPETITORS CRAZY.

6. WHEN HER CLIENT BASE GAINS MORE MOMENTEM THAN THE TOP PRODUCERS.

7. JESI GETS THE MANAGER AND BROKER’S ATTENTION WHEN SHE GAINS TOP PRODUCER STATUS.

8. SUDDENLY HER PURSUITS ARE REPLACED WITH A DESIRE FOR MOTHERHOOD. JUST ONE BABY, THAT’S ALL SHE WANTS BUT IT HAS TO HAPPEN SOON FOR SHE’S TURNING FORTY.

9. SHE STARTS AN ON-LINE SEARCH – “IT’S LOVE AT FIRST LOG IN!”

10. NOW SHE’S PREGNANT AND ALSO JUGGLING THE CAREER AND HANDIMAN BIZ. MICHAEL JUMPS IN TO HELP AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP CHANGES. SUDDENLY HE’S MORE INTERESTING TO JESI THAN THE SPERM DONOR.

PASS #2

BUILD IN THE ANTAGONIST JOURNEY

1. HENRY IS IMPRESSED AT FIRST AS JESI STARTS BUILDING HER CLIENT BASE. BUT THIS SOON TURNS TO A GUARDED ATTEMPT TO HIDE HIS CONTACTS FROM HER AND NOT SHARE ANY OF HIS PROSPECTS OR HIS LEADS.

2. HENRY COERSES THE OFFICE MANAGER, MAKES UP A STORY, JESI IS TOO HORMONAL, DEVOID OF ANY PURPOSE OR STRUCTURE – A TYPICAL FEMALE, ALL OVER THE BOARD.

3. BUT ONCE “JESI’S HOME HELP BIZ” TAKES OFF AND IS HUGELY SUCCESSFUL HENRY IS WORRIED. HIS CLIENTS ARE BECOMING HER CLIENTS WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE.

4. HENRY STARTS STALKING JESI – LOOKING FOR CLUES AS TO HOW SHE PULLED THIS OFF – HOW COULD SHE BE SO SUCCESSFUL?

5. HENRY DECIIDES TO CAPTIVATE HER IN OTHER WAYS – THROUGH HIS HAILU.

6. HE STARTS HIS DAY BY WRITING A HAIKU TO HER – THEN STARTS WRITING THEM WITH HER DAILY – LOOKS FOR COMPETITIONS – ANYTHING TO DISTRACT HER FROM THE BUSINESS.

7. WHEN SHE ASKS HIM TO BE A SPERM DONOR IT SLAYS HIM – HE LOOKS AT HER DIFFERENTLY – THEN FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER.

8. WHEN HENRY TELLS JESI HE LOVES HER HE LOSES HER. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR A MAN. BESIDE WHEN SHE ADDS A NEWBORN CHILD TO HER AGENDA ALL OF HER TIME WILL BE INVESTED THERE

9. HE’S HURT, REJECTED – HE REVOLTS AND SHUTS DOWN THEIR HAIKU ADVENTURE. BUT HE MISSES HER MORE THAN SHE MISSES HIM.

10. HENRY’S JEALOUS BECAUSE JESI HAS MOVED ON TO MICHAEL, BROUGHT HIM INTO HER HOUSE HELP BUSINESS – AND NOW MICHAEL HAS ALSO BEEN BUSY CONVINCING HER TO HAVE HIS BABY.

11. HENRY’S ONLY HOPE IS TO OFFER JESI A SHARE OF HIS CLIENTS JESI AND A PARTNERSHIP. OR ELSE HE FEELS ALL IS LOST. THROUGH ALL THIS HENRY IS SOFTENING, NOT SO CUT THROAT, AND EVERYONE IS NOTICING THIS CHANGE BUT HIM.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – DAY #6

What I learned doing this assignment is, if you let it, this process can take you deep into the psyche of your characters and therefore helps you understand them.

LIST 6 TO 8 CHANGES CHARACTER HAS TO MAKE

1. SHE HAS TO BELIEVE IN HERSELF

2. FACE IT THAT SHE HAS TO WORK HARDER AND SMARTER TO GET THE LEADS

3. SHE HAS TO PUT TOGETHER A GAME PLAN – EXPOSE OFFICE MANAGER

4. SHE LOVES THE HAIKU CHALLENGE WITH HENRY – BUT STILL HAS TO BEAT HIM AT HIS GAME

5. SHE’S ROOKIE OF THE YEAR BUT THAT’S NOT ENOUGH – NOW SHE WANTS TO GET PREGNANT

6. A CONFIDENT HAS BEEN STEALING HER LEADS – WHO IS THIS?

7. FOR THE SPERM DONOR – SHOULD SHE ENGAGE WITH MICHAEL OR HENRY

8. SHE GOES ON A TV DATING GAME

9. SHE HAS TO DECIDE BETWEEN HENRY AND MICHAEL AND THE DATING GUY

CHARACTER ARC – OLD WAYS, NEW WAYS

1. FALLS INTO LINE – LETS HER COMMPETITION TAKE ADVANTAGE

2. TAKES WHATEVER THE MANAGER DISHES OUT

3. DECIDES KIDS ARE NOT FOR HER – AT FORTY SHE’S TOO OLD TOGET PREGNANT

HER STEPS – EASIEST TO MOST DIFFICULT

1. SHE KNOWS CONTRACT AND HOW TO SELL – BUT NOT IN A MALE DOMINATED INDUSTRY

2. SHE HAS SEVERAL OPTIONS FOR A SPERM DONOR – BUT WHEN LOVE ENTERS THIS EQUATION

3. SHE KNOWS HENRY HAS STOLEN HER LEADS – BUT NOW THAT THEY ARE SO CLOSEHOW DOES SHE TELL HIM?

4. HENRY IS IN LOVE – BUT IF HE TELLS HER HE STOLE HER LEADS HE WILL LOSE HER.

DRAMATIC EVENTS THAT COULD CAUSE CHANGES

1. WHEN JESSIE STRAPS ON A TOOL BELT HER LIFE CHANGES

2. JESI CALLS THE MANAGER ON HIS METHOD OF HANDING OUT THE LEADS

3. JESI TAKES OFF TO THE FORREST AND RUNS INTO — to be continued

** ADD THESE TO MY 4 ACT STRUCTURE

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT #5 (USE THIS TO START WRITING SCRIPT)

What I learned doing this assignment is you have to jump in and just go with it. If I try to organize my thought too much there is not much there to write about.

CONCEPT:

A woman sets out to prove herself in the male dominated world of commercial real estate and then learns she has the power to rise above all of them.

MAIN CONFLICT

Jessie is a top achiever who does not know how or where to stop. Until she decides to tackle the male dominated field of commercial real estate.

OLD WAYS

Jessie couldn’t wait for deals to be handed to her, instead she would go knock on doors and make it happen.

NEW WAYS

Now that she’s a rookie in the new residential income real estate field Jessie learns she has to wait for the office manager to hand her the leads… and has to adjust to this.

ACT 1

OPENING

Until now, residential real estate sales have provided Jessie a good income, but now that she is a solo parent she must earn more income and find a new challenge.

TURNING POINT

Jessie takes on Commercial real estate, puts a deal together the first week. It looks like this is her new skill set, until – she finds out all of the leads are being funneled to the top producing agent.

ACT 2

NEW PLAN

She invents a way to gain direct access to southern California property owners – start her own handiman service company. So she straps on a nail belt and starts pounding nails.

PLAN IN ACTION

Jessie takes to building repairs and remodel like an expert, soon earns the property owners trust and respect. Her contracts have an added clause where her owners agree to a listing if ever the owner was to sell. Her first listing is excruciating but soon she lists and sells another and another. Hires several workmen to help make the repairs.

MIDPOINT TURNING POINT

At the end of Jessie’s first year she has listed so many properties she earns “Rookie of the Year” and starts up a team of agents. Henry, the company’s top producer, is so jealous he asks her out under false pretenses and tries to pick her brain. They have a mutual interest, Haiku. Challenge each other with poems every day. Henry falls in love with her but she learns he has been stealing her client names and breaks her ties with him.

ACT 3

RETHINK EVERYTHING

Now that Jessie is on top, surpassing Henry. Something is missing. She wants a little brother for her daughter. Goes looking for sperm donors.

NEW PLAN

Jessie hits a wall, needs a break, takes off to a state park in a motor home with seven year old Ally. Rethinks her business. Decides she wants to spend more time with Ally. While fishing meets – from the office. Who it turns out knew where she was heading and followed her.

TURNING POINT/ HUGE FAILURE/ MAJOR SHIFT

This new nature world is so welcoming Jessie wants to stay. Another reason is Ally has bonded with Michael. Still she has client obligations that are pressing. Some are looking for her. So finally she returns to the office and —

ACT 4

CLIMAX/ ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT

Jessie is pregnant and Michael is the father. But she finds out at one point in desperation he stole a one of her leads and she has to rethink the relationship.

RESOLUTION

Not there yet —

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – ASSIGNMENT #4

RAE’S CHARACTER INTERVIEWS:

What I learned this assignment is … this conversation never runs out. Problem is I run out of steam and want to get onto the next thing.

HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH CHARACTERS. GAIN MORE CLARITY ON LEAD CHARACTERS & THE STORY.

INTERVIEW YOUR CHARACTERS:

SELECT A CHARACTER – HAVE A CONVERSATION – THEY ARE WILLING TO ANSWER ANYTHING!

USE THE 12 QUESTIONS ON PAGE 2.

PROTAGONIST: JESSICA JOHNSON

Tell me about yourself – I’m shy, unspoilt, someone who does not expect to be given something for nothing. I have worked for everything I have ever gotten so far in my life.

Why do you think you were called to this journey – why you?

God works in mysterious ways. But really I have always though I have something special to contribute.

You are up against —- what is it about them that makes this journey more difficult for you?

Purely because they are men and all have a historical advantage just because they were born men. There have not been too many of them I have looked up to so far in my life. Except for my dear brother, that is.

To survive/accomplish this – are you going to step outside of your box? What changes do you need to make? Which is the most difficult?

I will need to educate myself. I will need to do more than the “less than average man.”

What habits or ways of thinking will you have to let go of?

Co-dependancy. As children, I relied a lot on my sister to take the lead and pave the way for me.

What fears, insecurities, wounds have you held back?

Shyness, self-consciousness, as I sat back and watched my sister excel in most areas.

What skills or expertise make you suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

Lately, when confronted with a challenge I rise to the occasion and have no idea where the courage comes from.

What are you hiding from the other characters? What do you not want them to know?

That I came from lower middle class and worked hard for everything I have today. That I am not as confident as I appear. I put on a good act.

Tell me your side of this conflict/ story?

I have already proved myself in the real estate world. Why should I have to grovel to these men in the commercial real estate biz?

What does it do for your life if you succeed here?

It’s all about me proving myself to me – and maybe my sister who didn’t even have to try – life just fell into her lap.

Ask any other Q’s that will help you.

ANTAGONIST: HENRY CHEN

Tell me about yourself –

Well, I grew up a spoilt little Asian kid who got everything he wanted, except the love of his father. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough. School wasn’t easy either – I was always the odd kid in the class room. Just a nerd. So I set out to prove my father wrong and did so. Women were never easy to get to know let alone romance one.

Why do you think you were called to this journey – why you?

To prove myself to my family and then maybe grow up and free myself of them. Maybe find the woman who will help me do this?

You are up against —- what is it about them that makes this journey more difficult for you?

I have created an image that I have it all. This macho real estate savant, but all I really want to do is write my poetry.

To survive/accomplish this – are you going to step outside of your box? What changes do you need to make? Which is the most difficult?

Yes, I should, but I don’t know how. Never had a role model for success.

What habits or ways of thinking will you have to let go of?

Holding back in my personal life. Making real estate my everything. Terrified of girls, women.

What fears, insecurities, wounds have you held back?

It all started with my father. All I wanted was his time, and his love – but he was always running his stupid market.

I was never validated by my father, except maybe for a few college professors.

What skills or expertise make you suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

I’m smarter than most. That the only thing that has gotten me strokes so far in my life.

What are you hiding from the other characters? What do you not want them to know?

When I graduated college summa cum laude, I was a nerd who knew nothing about life and just wanted to write poetry.

What do you think of? You mean besides the next deal — women, how to find a lover and a wife.

Tell me your side of this conflict/ story?

I need to be on top of my game in this business, always on top. That’s the only way I know.

What does it do for your life if you succeed here?

I will always have more of a life than my father. If I find the right woman, maybe I’ll forget this business and go live in Tokyo. Or maybe I’m gay?

Ask any other Q’s that will help you.

PROTAGONIST: MICHAEL FIORE

Tell me about yourself –

Why do you think you were called to this journey – why you?

You mean why am I a pleaser who always comes off second best? I don’t know how it happened. I suppose my mother protected me a tad too much from getting hurt by life.

You are up against —- what is it about them that makes this journey more difficult for you?

When my father and then my brother died my passion for just about anything in life was lost in me. I spent most of my life trying to make it up to my mother. You could say women have kind of dominated me.

To survive/accomplish this – are you going to step outside of your box? What changes do you need to make? Which is the most difficult?

Stand up for my deservingness. Own my talent. Be a great chef.

What habits or ways of thinking will you have to let go of?

Always worrying about my mother’s well being and happiness.

What fears, insecurities, wounds have you held back?

I’ve had to be the man in my family and always felt I was not enough.

What skills or expertise make you suited to face this conflict or antagonist?

I need to outsmart Henry and win Jessie’s heart. She’s the one.

What are you hiding from the other characters? What do you not want them to know?

That I have been dependent on women most of my life – I am not a leader.

What do you think of?

Cheffing.

Tell me your side of this conflict/ story?

I know Henry does not have the social skills I have, especially around women. May the best man win.

What does it do for your life if you succeed here?

I get the girl and gain my own self respect.

Ask any other Q’s that will help you.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 Day Script – #3

Assignment: Character Profiles

What I learned doing this assignment is, how important it is to get these traits, feel them all the way down to your fingertips and breathe them into each of your characters.

What draws us to this character?

JESSICA:

Traits: She is impulsive, thinks she can do anything, even when she hits a wall.

Subtext: Her negative childhood has prepared her to be ready for anything.

Flaws: Shyness that she always manages to camouflage with bravado.

Values: Her sense of loyalty makes her the best friend, and agent in the world.

Irony: Real estate requires a bravado she still does not believe she has.

MICHAEL:

Traits: He is a pleaser who is invested in this. He sells real estate to pay the but would prefer to be chef-ing.

Subtext: He’s Italian – so at heart he’s a lover!

Flaws: He’s a pleaser even when this is not the best choice for him.

Values: His Italian grandfather has instilled the old fashioned values to honor the family first.

Irony: Although he is a pleaser he draws the line when it comes to chef-ing. He alone is the master in his kitchen.

HENRY:

Traits: He has to always be number one, will do just about anything to stay on top. Even though he falls hard for Jessica he still needs to beat her every month with his sales volume.

Subtext: Except for a very loving, doddering grandmother, he has never really been loved. His father has always rejected him. His top producer career pursuit is about showing his father.

Flaws: He is fastidiously clean to the point of obsessive.

Values: He values family and his life is driven by their expectations of him.

Irony: He appears stiff and formal he is a great dancer – it’s what he really wants to do.

SHIRLEY: (Jessica’s mother)

Subtext: She pushes Jessica into her achievements but all she really wants is to be a grandmother

Flaws: She talks too much, wears her heart on her sleeve.

Values: Her family values are not to be questioned.

Irony:
She too has lost her husband at an early age and raised her daughter as
a solo parent.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – ASSIGNMENT 2

What I learned from this assignment you can make this a process or just dive in and have fun with it.

Great Characters – – explorations outside the box. Simple decisions get elevated.

CHOOSE YOUR PROTAGONIST: JESSICA

CHOOSE YOUR ANTAGONIST: HENRY

SELECT YOUR GENRE: ROMANTIC COMEDY

CREATE PART 1 OF YOUR CHARACTER PROFILES:

1. JESSICA JOHNSON – PROTAGONIST: MICHAEL AND JESSIE BRING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER.

EVIE JOHNSON IS A DREAMER WHO AT FORTY HAS EXPERIENCED MUCH OF LIFE’S ADVERSITY. BUT RATHER THAN LET IT STOP HER OR GET HER DOWN SHE USES THIS AS MOTIVATION TO GET WHERE SHE WANTS TO GO IN LIFE. SHE ALWAYS LOOKS FOR THE MIRACLE!

2. HENRY CHEN – ANTAGONIST

HENRY, AN OVER-EDUCATED RICH BOY, HASN’T A CLUE HOW TO ROMANCE A WOMAN, AND REFUSES TO LET A WOMAN SURPASS HIM IN COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE SALES. HE CAN’T MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP FOR MORE THEN TWO MONTHS – THAT’S THE BREAKING POINT. AFTER BEING ASKED TOO MANY TIMES, HE FEARS HE COULD BE GAY.

3. HERO: MICHAEL FIORE – PROTAGONIST

MICHAEL IS THE COMMERCIAL BROKERAGE COMPANY NICE GUY WHO GOES OVERBOARD TO HELP JESSICA TRANSITION INTO THE NEW JOB. WHEN HE NAME DROPS THAT HENRY IS THE COMPANY’S TOP PRODUCER, JESSICA GETS AS MUCH INFO ON HIM AS SHE CAN. APART FROM WORK, MICHAEL IS INSENSED WITH ITALIAN COOKING AND CUISINE.

[Rae Rodgers]

30 DAY SCRIPT – ASSIGNMENT #1

What I learned during this assignment: Firstly, I loved the empowerment exercise, so now I’m inspired to finally write the Rom-Com I’ve been putting off writing for years. I am ready to write something rich, inspirational and new.

BUILDING THE TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY: OUR AUDIENCE NEEDS TO CARE DEEPLY

TRANSFORMATION: CAUSING A LIFE-CAUSING SHIFT FOR A PERSON OR A THING

JOURNEY: A LONG AND DIFFICULT PROCESS OF PERSONAL CHANGE AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

“THE OLD WAY OF BEING” AND “THE NEW WAY OF BEING.”

1. ASSIGNMENT: WHO IS YOUR HERO – WHAT IS THEIR CHARACTER ARC THAT REPRESENTS TRANSFORMATION:

INTERNAL JOURNEY: JESSICA JOHNSON IS FORTY AND SUDDENLY LONGING TO HAVE A BABY, BUT FIRST SHE MUST FIND A PARTNER. SHE ALSO NEEDS TO MANAGE THE LARGE CLIENT BASE OF DEMANDING COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE INVESTORS WHO KEEP HER LIFE SLAMMED 24/7.

EXTERNAL JOURNEY: SELF ACTUALIZED AND ACHIEVED, JESSICA HAS FOUGHT FOR EVERYTHING SHE’S EVER ACHIEVED. NOTHING HAS BEEN HANDED TO HER.

2. WHAT ARE OLD WAYS & NEW WAYS

OLD WAYS: SHY, UNASSUMING, HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION AND THAT’S ALL. SELF DEPRECIATING, BUT STILL CARRYING THE THOUGHT THAT SOMEDAY SOMETHING WONDERFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER TO LIGHT HER PATH AND HAVE SUCCESS IN ALL AREAS OF HER LIFE.

NEW WAYS: AFTER HER HUSBAND JAMES DIES, THIRTY- YEAR- OLD EVIE BECOMES AN OVERACHIEVING REAL ESTATE AGENT OUT OF NECESSITY, THEN ENDS UP LOVING THE HARD WORK, PRESSURE AND THE MONEY. WHEN RESIDENTIAL REAL ESTATE DIPS INTO A DEEP RECESSION SHE DECIDES TO TACKLE COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE, GO TO BATTLE WITH AN ESTABLISHMENT THAT IS NINETY-FIVE PERCENT MALE DOMINATED. BY YEAR THREE SHE GETS TO NAME HER PRICE IN THE BUSINESS, BUT HER PERSONAL WORLD STRUGGLES WITH THE WANING FIELD OF MEN AT HER DOOR. WHO CAN NAME HER PRICE AND ALSO HER EVER ESCALATING PATH TO SUCCESS.

MICHAEL SHOWS JESSIE THE ROPES IN THE COMMERCIAL FIELD AND FALLS FOR HER.

HENRY THE NUMBER ONE COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE PRODUCER IS JESSICA’S MAIN COMPETITOR.

[Rae Rodgers]

Character Subtext – Day #3

What I learned from this assignment is the subtext is in my head a lot of the time but just not on the page. So there’s a lot of work still to be done.

The subtext beneath the surface on Top Three Characters:

Crista Banks:

A young exuberant chef-des-cuisine wins top chef in a TV cooking competition with the help of her best friend, sous chef Vicky. The two friends stage a fight to get the producers attention, promising to share their future chef-ing successes with each other. But when Crista lands her own TV show she grabs onto the celebrity and doesn’t think twice about leaving Vicky behind.

John Livingston:

John does everything possible to help Crista craft her own successful TV show, always ensuring there will be something in it for him. On set it is no secret John’s a womanizer who not only chases Crista’s close friend Trish, he also romances Vicky for his own personal gain.

Jeb Green:

Jeff Bridges requests that Jeb meet with celebrity Crista Banks to discuss her school food program proposal. Jeb calls friends at NYPD and investigates her, wants to know her true agenda. Once he learns who Crista Banks really is, he meets with her but conceals their childhood friendship. She is completely unaware she was his fourth grade crush. Both have changed their surnames and so this remains Jeb’s secret. Jeb also knows about her past, her life in the projects which gives him an edge. As the relationship fires up romantically Crista admits she never wants kids of her own, while Jeb is hiding the fact he’s the solo parent of twin boys.

[Rae Rodgers]

Mastering subtext – Lesson #2

What I learned is… I’ve never considered an “environment focus” before. This exercise provided me with a deeper awareness, and gave a more profound connection to my character’s backgrounds and locations.

1. The TV Studio where Crista created her Top Chef show.

Crista’s TV chef show is in year five. The studio has become more like home than her own home. It has also become a place to hide from the real world, a safety net.

2. The Bronx Hospital.

The kids recovering in Bronx Hospital have Crista’s promise to get them out of there, the chance to lead a better life and a somewhat normal future existence. This validates her reasons for leaving a prime time TV show, adds purpose to her being there.

3. The Bronx School District.

Crista goes back to her roots, a childhood she denied from the day she was adopted and rescued from a derelict flat in the Bronx. The first day back in the School District Crista pitches school administrator Jeb her food truck proposal to feed their hungry kids, completely unaware that Jeb was her elementary school boy crush.

The Bronx School District is familiar, provides a base for Crista to network, to expand the childhood hunger project, create hopes and dreams for the Bronx school children.