[Raz Ray]

<div>Raz Ray Lesson 15 Fast formatting. </div>

What I learned from doing this assignment? I did learn better formatting and how to change scenes fluidly between action and description. I do have more questions which involve proper formatting or inpropper. Like how do you know when to make another slugline or not?

Screenwriting U.

INT. SECRET SECURITY FACILITY- NIGHT.

Commander Cotes, a seasoned soldier in tactical gear, moves through the shadows. His eyes scan the surroundings, every step deliberate.

COMMANDER COTES (whispering to himself):

This is it… The heart of the beast.

He approaches the keypad-locked door, his gloved hands moving with precision.

INT. SECURITY FACILITY CORRIDORS – CONTINUOUS.

The hisses open, revealing a dimly lit corridor. Cotes slips inside, blending into darkness.

COMMANDER COTES (Through Comms):

I’m in. Eyes peeled for any movement.

INT. SECURITY FACILITY NIGHT – CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT.

As Cotes navigates through the corridors, he stacks action and reaches the control room. A bank of monitors flickers with stacks of classified files that catch his attention.

COTES (whispering).

What secrets are you hiding?

He glances at the folder labelled “Project Extracpator.”

INT. SECURITY FACILITY – CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

Simultaneously, Cotes uncovers a hidden camera feed, revealing a group of guards closing in.

COMMANDER COTES (INTO COMMS)

Dash to the extraction point. I’ve got company.

The armed guards quickly break down the door as they move through the control room, searching for their intruder. He looks on top of the desk.

GUARD:

(Looking around)

All clear in here… wait –

The guard looks down on the ground to find a flash-bang grenade set to go off.

EFX:

BOOM!

The explosive throws the guards off, catching them by surprise and making them disoriented.

Commander Cotes reveals himself from behind the door with a silenced pistol.

EFX:

SWISH! SWISH!

The Commander lets out a couple of shots in the legs of the guards, keeping them alive while they squirm on the ground.

INT. SECURITY FACILITY – HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

The Action intensifies as Cotes dashes through the corridor, evading security lasers and guards.

COTES:

(Grim determination)

I won’t let them catch me…

INT. SECURITY FACILITY – EXTRACT POINT – NIGHT

Commander Cotes reaches the extraction point and opens a concealed hatch on the floor. As soon as he’s through the hatch, bullets from the guards ricochet off the closed hatch.

COTES (into comms):

Ready for evac, move in.

As the extraction team descends, Cotes disappears into the shadows, leaving the facility behind.

[Raz Ray]

Raz Ray: Great Action Set Piece. Lesson 14.

What I learned from doing this assignment? Honestly, I learned A LOT! Thank you, Hal. I learned that action needs meaning and needs to be transformative. I learned that a change in emotion needs to be in place. Also to test the relationship needs to happen. The best prat is I also understand why these need to be in place.

Pre-Action:

Create the need for action: The villain has located our heroes, a band of freedom

fighters and the one warrior they kidnapped. The Heroes decide to hide inside an

abandoned shack.

Demand a change that the characters need to go through:

Upon opening the door, the freedom fighters also find poor escaped civilians hiding

from the villain as well.

Put a plan into action and see if it works: The tech expert of the freedom fighters

pulls out a tech that can hide the Freedom fighters but not the Civilians.

Test a relationship: The warrior asks the Freedom Fighters why everybody can’t be

saved. The fighters respond that their only mission is to save the warrior.

Set up a question that matters to the audience: The warrior is torn between saving

her own life or risking it to save others.

Action Sequence:

The heroes put the tech in place, which screens the heroes from being detected. Some

heroes set up outside the shack to ambush the villains when they come. Anxiety: The

villains arrive and hover over the shack with their CorporationShip. The Villains demand

that the warrior they are looking for surrenders. Fear: One of the Freedom Fighters

decided to surrender by sacrificing herself to the villains so the warrior and the others

could escape. Relief: The Villains take the hostage but are still engaged in killing the

other Freedom Fighters in hiding. Surprise: They shoot out a bean to extract a certain

piece of the human soul. Shock: The Heroes are safe. Suspense: but the Civilians are

dying right before them. Danger: The warrior can’t take it anymore and saves the

civilians by using her body as a shield, putting herself in danger. Excitement: Her

secret weapon is activated when she protects herself and the civilians. The other

Freedom Fighters are amazed at her courage. Adrenalin: They see another ship

attacking them from the other side when the Freedom Fighters spring into action and

start attacking the enemy ships, working together to destroy them.

POST ACTION:

The enemy is forced to retreat. The Freedom fighters gather together and look at each

other with admiration. They feel happy that they survived but are sad that one of

their members has been taken hostage. The warrior was amazed that she sacrificed

her life for her and now wants to help the Freedom Fighters in their mission to free

Humanity.

STEP ONE: List the nine places for uniqueness.

1. Environment: The future inside a scrap metal junkyard.
2. Rules: The Villains are searching for the warrior but also running from the Calvary. Both have access to highly advanced tech and magic.
3. Villain: The Villain is engaging the heroes through advance tech. He is determined to find a certain individual.
4. Mission: Protect the Warrior at all costs. Flee the scene with everybody together.
5. Struggle: The Villains are using all their resources to destroy the hero.
6. Unique Skillset: The Warrior has a special weapon to protect herself and others.
7. Meaning: To stand up for others and dare to fight back.
8. Allies: The Freedom Fighters, the Civilians, the Calvary.
9. Weapon: The cosmic weapon of an assassin only the hero has.

STEP 2: Use Strategies For Uniqueness to elevate them.

• A. What if…?: The freedom fighters turned on the warrior, and she had to defend herself against them.
• B. Take it to an extreme: The Civilians all got killed, and the Warrior had to avenge them.
• C. Specific to character or environment: The Warrior could handle all the enemies simultaneously.
• D. Shocking or Surprising: The enemies defeat all of the Warrior’s allies, making her alone in the battle.
• E. Go opposite: The Villain captures the Warrior, and the Allies must save the warrior.
• F. What haven’t we seen?: The civilians doing something for themselves.

3). Create through nine action emotions (See outline).

4). Add in more twists: a) The Freedom Fighters abandon the Warrior, and she takes the Villain on all by herself. B). A new threat comes from the environment. C). Creatures come out that threaten both the heroes and the villains.

5. Rewrite by going over steps 1-4 to elevate it: I already did the rewrite when I did the outline, but I’ll add the extras I didn’t have before. I didn’t require action so I added the civilians being in danger. I didn’t have a transformation with the emotions, so I added meaning. The meaning was deciding between letting the civilians die or springing into action. I also didn’t test the relationship, so I added that in.

[Raz Ray]

Raz Ray: Unique Action.

What have I learned doing this assignment? I haven’t learned much. To be a writer, you must brainstorm as much as possible and rewrite a lot.

1). Environment: 100 years into the future. 400 years into the past. Dystopia/ Utopia: Unique: Maybe to see if the past or future affects present-day Earth.

2). Rules: The rich live in a Utopia the poor live in a Dystopia. The hero is kidnapped from the past to the future. Only the hero can time travel. Unique: The villains can also time travel; The hero kidnaps the Villain.

3). The Villains can reincarnate: They control a specific societal institution. Unique: The villains can time travel to assassinate her.

4.) Mission: Assassinate each villain to break the spell on societal institutions. Unique: Society does not want to be saved.

5.) Struggle: Belief system. They are defeating people with vast resources. Unique: The hero is overconfident. Change the resources, big or small.

6.) Unique Skilset: The Hero is a great warrior who rejects her own skill set. Unique: The hero has to find the right skill set

7). Meaning: Each scene prepares the hero to confront her fears and face her oppressors. Unique: The people who kidnapped her are her oppressors.

8). Allies: The Death Squad team. The Freedom Fighters. The people in poverty. Unique: Some of the villains are actually helping the hero.

9). The cosmic sword. Advanced technology: Unique. No weapons the Hero can use her hands.

My improvements were to make some of the villains give up their control and power. Also, some of the heroes are actually Villains as well.

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[Raz Ray]

Raz Ray: Level 3 Actions and Emotions.

What I learned from doing this assignment? After going from Danger to excitement, it’s rather complex going from excitement to adrenaline.

Danger: The Hero enters the penthouse of the world’s wealthiest man with her Death Squad group of killers. The Hero is a young girl carrying a naginata. The rest of the team surrounds the old man villain as he sits at his desk. The Hero approaches the desk and looks the villain in the eye. “The is an Arrest, surrender you live, resist you die.”

Excitement: This triggers the old Villain, and he turns into his reptilian self. The Death Squad behind the Hero takes action as they fire bullets that are bouncing off the Reptillian man’s skin. A colossal fight ensures that both of them are going back and forth, trying to kill each other, even knowing that the only thing that can kill this immortal beast is the Hero.

Adrenaline: After the Villain defeats the rest of the Death Squad team, he walks toward the Hero to confront her. He wants her weapon for himself. They both know they are the only ones that can kill each other. The Hero does not want to kill the villain, so she tries to be diplomatic, but she’s running out of time, and the villain is running out of patience.

[Raz Ray]

Les Ray Level 2 Action Emotions.

What I learned doing this assignment is? I learned that playing with the emotions of the characters is fun. And providing strange twists makes the scene more engaging.

SURPRISE: The Hero has been transported into the future with her special weapon, a king cobra snake. She meets a group of soldiers whose mission is to keep her alive at all costs. The problem is the environment of the future is hazardous to someone from the past. The Hero immediately starts choking, gagging, and vomiting.

SHOCK: One of the medic soldiers pulls out a long needle and suggests injecting her with vaccines that would keep her alive but alter her DNA state. The other soldier tells the commander that’s a bad idea because we need the Hero to be as pure as possible, and giving her vaccines would jeopardize their future mission. The unit commander has to choose whether to give the hero the vaccines to save her life or hope she lives so they can use her for their future mission.

SUSPENSE: While arguing, the unique King Cobra snake sneaks up and bites the suffering Hero, injecting it with its venom. The team is shocked that the snake got the best of them but quickly realizes that the venom in the snake is saving the hero, allowing it to adapt to the environment.

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[Raz Ray]

Subject Line: Raz Ray Level 1 Emotions.

What I learned from doing this assignment? I knew that when writing these kinds of scenes of anxiety, fear, and relief, you will also experience them as you write. If you wrote them, the audience can feel them as well.

Anxiety: The hero enters the tiny time capsule with the snake in her hand and shuts the door. Her Mentor activates the time capsule. MENTOR: “Our enemies have already stormed the Monastery, and they are here to kill us any minute, so we don’t have much time. I’ll activate the time capsule, and you’ll be transported 400 years into the future. There, you’ll meet powerful beings ready to help you. Good luck; the future awaits you”. The Mentor turns on the machine, and in a flash of light, I have disappeared and reappeared in another place and a scarier predicament worse than the last. My metal time capsule has disappeared, and I am stranded in mid-air, falling thousands of feet towards a rock-hard Earth.

Fear: The fear of falling has my eyes opened and closed, my jaw tight, and my heart rate pumping crazy. This is how I die. Suddenly, I fall through a swarm of black and purple bugs in the air, and they immediately latch onto my body. Millions of bugs have now covered my body like a cocoon and are slowing my acceleration towards my ending.

Relief: Right before my body splattered into the ground, the velocity of my fall had changed, and I was now hovering 6 feet above the ground, my whole body covered in insects except for my face. I am breathing fast, but my heart rate is slowing down. I realized my life had been saved by something unusual.

<hr>

[Raz Ray]

Raz Ray Favorite Twist.

What I learned from doing this assignment?: I knew that doing unique twists could be good, but too much can distract from the story.

19th Century Japan. Young Maiko is living in a unique Okyia house. She is on stage in front of many wealthy businessmen in the country, performing a ceremonial dance. The men will bid for her to become their wives.

Danger/ Safety: Maiko is in danger of being purchased by a ruthless overlord who is unaware she is the one he is looking to kill. Safety: The Baron is not focused on her face and can’t focus on his task.

New Threat: The Baron has placed a pretty high bid for her.

Unexpected Support: A monk tries to outbid the Baron.

Plans fail: The Baron has announced the highest Bid in the room for the girl.

Plan succeeds: The girl is rescued by the Monk.

Identity or Plan exposed: The Monk tries to outbid the Baron with the monastery’s money.

Identify Hidden: The Monk is a friend of the girl’s dad.

Deceived: The girl is just an ordinary orphan.

Surprising Truth: The girl is a champion warrior who will fight for humanity.

Betrayal: The Monk kidnaps the girl after the ceremony.

Surprising Alliance: The Girl wants to be with the Monk.

Attacked: The Kidnapper ambushes the girl.

Protected: Lady Yoshiko goes against her word and lets the girl leave with the Kidnapper.

Lost Resources: She loses her security of living in the Geisha house

New Resources: She is exposed to unknown elements and a monastery.

It Just got worse: The rich Baron receives word that his Geisha has been kidnapped and is furious.

It just got better: The Kidnappers want to take her far away from the Baron.

Unexpected Weapon: The Geisha is a born warrior.

Surprising Response: She is a pacifist and does not believe in violence.

Trap/Trick: The Monastery is a cult of futurists.

Escape: The futurist wants to take her into the future to fight.

Reverse: The Baron is hunting the Geisha.

reverse the reversal: The Geisha turns into the Bugeisha and hunts the Baron.

Five favourite twists: 1). The hunted becomes the hunter. 2). The Monk tries to outbid the Baron. 3) The Monk kidnaps the Geisha. 4) The Baron overpays for the Geisha. 5). The girl the Baron was looking for turns out to be the girl he paid for.

[Raz Ray]

Lesson 8 Assignment.

Raz Ray: Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified.

<font face=”inherit”> What I learned from doing this assignment? I knew that </font>it’s<font face=”inherit”> </font>essential<font face=”inherit”> that you build up enough backstory so that the audience cares about your </font>character, or<font face=”inherit”> at least they can relate to them. You have to give your Hero </font>powerful<font face=”inherit”> </font>emotions<font face=”inherit”> initially</font><font face=”inherit”> to feed off of. Feelings that make them want to fight back. </font>

Likability/Empathy / Distress/Justified for your Hero.

LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY

• A. Other people like or respect the character.: The Hero is a baby left on the doorsteps of a Geisha house and taken in by the owner.
• B. The character shows love for something: The Hero is intrigued by the lifestyle of being a sought-after woman respected by her looks.
• C. They’re trying to do something good: She wants to be accepted by a Wealthy man to start a family of her own.
• D. Save the cat — rescue or do something good for someone else: She stays loyal to the house. She’s very talented and can make the house a lot of money. She keeps secrets and would never harm anyone.
• E. Funny, humorous, witty: She doesn’t make a lot of jokes.
• F. Kindness: She is kind to everyone she meets.
• G. Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side: She listens to orders, even though she doesn’t necessarily agree. She’s submissive and subservient.

EMPATHY / DISTRESS

• A. Undeserved misfortune: She is purchased by a wealthy, ruthless man.
• B. External Character Conflicts: She doesn’t want to be the wife of this man.
• C. Plot intruding on life: The Man she wanted all along to purchase her at the ceremony has now kidnapped her, taking her away from the Wealthy Businessman.
• D. Moral dilemmas: She was sold to a wealthy man but really doesn’t want to be with him.
• E. Forced decisions they’d never make: Instead of staying with the wealthy man, she flees with her unknown kidnapper instead.
• F. Wound attacked: The Motherly figure who took the hero from a baby dies a tragic death by the Wealthy Businessman.

JUSTIFICATION

• A. The character or their family abused: The Wealthy man has been searching for her since she was a baby. The wealthy man is set on killing her entire bloodline.
• B. Threatened by others: The wealthy businessman uses all his resources to find this Geisha. The Kidnapper is also threatening her to run away with him.
• C. The Hero is the victim of attacks: The Geisha’s caregiver and mentor is killed by a wealthy businessman.
• D. They’ve suffered major losses. The hero now has nowhere to go. She has to follow the kidnapper.
• E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed: The Villains break into the monastery and fight the Geisha and the Kidnapper. The Goons die tragically as the Geisha and the Kidnapper escape.

<hr>

[Raz Ray]

Les Ray: Story map

The Villain trash needs some work. Some of the incidents happened right after the others.

The Mission tracked needs to be worked out more. The Action Track was jumping all over the place for me. I don’t know if that’s okay.

1. Opening:
2. M1: In the opening scene of my story, we have the six Neo-Sapient death squad members introduced and engaged in action. A2: We see that the timeline is the future, and they are fighting armed security personnel or robots. The team infiltrates a hovering corporation. A1: The main character is a young girl with a pet King Cobra snake wrapped around her. She talks with disdain about each member of her death squad team. V5: She does mention that she’s the only one not fighting or killing anybody as she moves with her team to the penthouse suite of the world’s wealthiest man. Question: Who is she, and why isn’t she fighting or killing?
3. Inciting Incident:
4. M2: After the villain reveals himself to be a demonic monster, the rest of the team tries to kill him, but they are unsuccessful. V3: The Villain turns his attention towards the hero with the cobra snake. The hero is trained to assassinate the villain, but she’s too afraid to use violence. M3: The Villain delivers a blow, knocking the hero unconscious. In her sleep, one of the team members goes into her conscience to find out why she is afraid of using violence.
5. First Turning Point at the end of Act 1:
6. We go back into her childhood to when she was an orphaned kid living in a special Okyia house training to be the next Geisha. The night she is going to be sold, a wealthy Baron with a bad reputation is looking for a particular child. The Baron outbids the Monk at the Geisha ceremony and purchases the young Geisha. That night, the Young Geisha is kidnapped by the Monk, who tells her that he is her father and that she must travel to the future to liberate humanity with a unique spirit animal weapon that can manifest through her. V1: This information gets back to the Baron, who is enraged. V2: He gathers the soldiers and sets off after them. A6: He finds the girl’s Mentor and tortures her to death, trying to find her whereabouts. He finally finds out where she is and sets off after the girl. The girl Manifests a King Cobra snake and gains new powers and abilities of a warrior. M4: V4: The Baron breaks into the monastery with his soldiers, and a fight happens between the soldiers and the monks. A3: The girl escapes into a futuristic pod. A4: Once inside the Pod, she and the snake vanish. The Villain is furious and feels his soldiers to look for clues.
7. Mid-Point:
8. We are taken into the 400 years into the future. The Bugeisha with the Snake land in a junk pile and are met with the rest of the Neo-Sapient Death Squad. M5: They are in danger. The villain from the movie’s start is searching for them in a hovering Corporation. A5: He sends his attack drones to fight. M6: The heroes fight back, except for the Bugeisha, who is still too scared to use violence to kill. V6: A team member gets kidnapped, and the rest of the team does not believe in her warrior skills. A6: The Villain sends (creatures of Genocide) after the Neo-Sapients and the civilians. The creatures kill the civilians.
9. The second Turning Point at the end of Act 2:
10. The Death Squad team introduces themselves as she reunites with her father. A7: The team trains vigorously on how to become an assassin and why they kill people. A8: Poor civilians are being infected painfully. The team teaches her about warfare and how it’s political and that it ties into everything. She meets her love interest again, who is a freedom fighter. He tells her that they have to fight for everything they have, and people on both sides die. A9: They march onto the battlefront, but Bugeisha is still not ready to become a killer. She’s scared that if she goes down this path, she will not be able to return.
11. Crisis:
12. M7: The Hero wakes up, and our story restarts. A10: The hero and the Villain discuss how they can resolve their differences without war and death. The Villain makes promises to her that he wants to hear. All is lost because the Hero wants to forget everything and go back home where she can lead a simple life. The Death Squad team feels defeated. A11: The Villain releases the Creatures of Genocide to up the ante and causes action destruction.
13. Climax:
14. The creatures of Genocide enter the corporation, ready to kill everything but the Hero and the Villain. A12: The Hero cannot stand to see the bloodshed around the Corp, but she does not know why she must kill. The Villain tells her that he has been alive for 400 years and that in his past life, he was responsible for killing her family. M7: She snaps, and in that moment, she realizes why she has to kill. M8: A fight breaks out. A13: Her love interest enters the scene, abandoning his suicide mission to save the girl he loves. V7: The Villain strikes back at the Love interest, almost fatally killing him. V8: The Villain prepares to become a spirit ghost, returning to a new body. V9: A14: The hero uses the snake to strike the villain, taking his life.
15. Resolution:
16. M9: The Hero is devastated that she had to kill someone. The rest of the Death Squad fight the rest of the creatures and applaud her actions. She reunites with her love interest, and the War of riches is over.

[Raz Ray]

Raz Ray Action Structure.

What I learned from doing this assignment? I knew that I needed more resolve and structure for my story. I must put certain things in place that escalate my story with more action. With too many things happening simultaneously, it’s hard to get to the heart of the story.

1. Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure.

1. Opening: In the opening scene of my story, we have the six Neo-Sapient death squad members introduced and engaged in action. We see that the timeline is the future, and they are fighting armed security personnel or robots. The team infiltrates a hovering corporation. The main character is a young girl with a pet King Cobra snake wrapped around her. Her face is painted in chalk white and red lipstick. As she introduces herself, she talks with disdain about each member of her death squad team. She does mention that she’s the only one not fighting or killing anybody as she moves with her team to the penthouse suite of the world’s wealthiest man. Question: Who is she, and why isn’t she fighting or killing?
2. Inciting Incident: After the villain reveals himself to be a demonic monster, the rest of the team tries to kill him, but they are unsuccessful. The Villain turns his attention towards the hero with the cobra snake. The hero is trained to assassinate the villain, but she’s too afraid to use violence. The Villain delivers a blow, knocking the hero unconscious. In her sleep, one of the team members goes into her conscience to find out why she is afraid of using violence.
3. First Turning Point at the end of Act 1: We go back into her childhood to when she was an orphaned kid living in a special Okyia house training to be the next Geisha. The night she is going to be sold, a wealthy Baron with a bad reputation is looking for a particular child. The Baron outbids the Monk at the Geisha ceremony and purchases the young Geisha. That night, the Young Geisha is kidnapped by the Monk, who tells her that he is her father and that she must travel to the future to liberate humanity with a unique spirit animal weapon that can manifest through her. This information gets back to the Baron, who is enraged. He gathers the soldiers and sets off after them. He finds the girl’s Mentor and tortures her to death, trying to find her whereabouts. He finally finds out where she is and sets off after the girl. The girl Manifests a King Cobra snake and gains new powers and abilities of a warrior. The Baron breaks into the monastery with his soldiers, and a fight happens between the soldiers and the monks while the girl escapes into a futuristic pod. Once she’s inside the Pod, she and the snake vanish. The Villain is furious and feels his soldiers to look for clues.
4. Mid-Point: We are taken into the 400 years into the future. The Bugeisha with the Snake land in a junk pile and are met with the rest of the Neo-Sapient Death Squad. They are in danger. The villain from the Strat of the movie is searching for them in a hovering Corporation. He sends his attack drones to fight. The heroes fight back, except for the Bugeisha, who is still too scared to use violence to kill. In addition, a team member gets kidnapped, and the rest of the team does not believe in her warrior skills.
5. The second Turning Point at the end of Act 2: The Death Squad team introduces themselves as she reunites with her father. The team trains vigorously on how to become an assassin and why they kill people. The team teaches her about warfare and how it’s political and that it ties into everything. She meets her love interest again, who is a freedom fighter. He tells her that they have to fight for everything they have, and people on both sides die. They march onto the battlefront, but Bugeisha is still not ready to become a killer. She’s scared that if she goes down this path, she will not be able to return. Missing Point: I must fill this scene with destruction and hopelessness through action. I also must show how she’s scared of violence.
6. Crisis: The Hero wakes up, and our story restarts from there. The hero and the Villain discuss how they can resolve their differences without war and death. The Villain makes promises to her that she wants to hear. All is lost because the Hero wants to forget everything and go back home where she can lead a simple life. The Death Squad team feels defeated. <font face=”inherit”>Missing Point: How to escalate the crisis so that the hero feels defeated. Why she can’t win? Also, I need the Villain to release the Creatures of Genocide to up the ante and cause action </font>and<font face=”inherit”> destruction. </font>
7. Climax: The creatures of Genocide enter the corporation, ready to kill everything but the Hero and the Villain. The Hero cannot stand to see the bloodshed around the Corp, but she does not know why she must kill. The Villain tells her that he has been alive for 400 years and that in his past life, he was responsible for killing her family. She snaps, and in that moment, she realizes why she has to kill. A fight breaks out, and she uses the snake to strike the villain, taking his life. Missing Point: How do I make the hero and the Villain see eye to eye to resolve in any other way than violence?
8. Resolution: The Hero is devastated that she had to kill someone. The rest of the Death Squad fight the rest of the creatures and applaud her actions. She reunites with her love interest, and the War of riches is over. Missing Point: I had to reshape my structure to determine what the hero wants and how she will get it. Also, how to defeat the villain with more action involved.

[Raz Ray]

Raz Ray’s Action Track.

What I learned from doing this assignment? There is much to figure out between the hero and the villain to keep the action going. Scenes that you can’t just fill with dialogue. You have to move the story through action.

1. Answer the Action Questions:

• A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up in this movie? Answer: Rescue would be the first action in my story. The kidnappers from the future have to rescue the Hero from capture.
• B. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track? Answer: The following action would be Chase/ Pursue, The hero is running away from the villain. I would also think of Dangerous situations, interrogation, torture and a big fight scene.
• C. How can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act? Answer: In the first act, I would start with the rescue that leads into the chase for this story. In the second act, a dangerous situation needs to happen that leads to a brutal interrogation. Even a shootout has to happen. After the villain finds the answers they’re looking for from torture. In the 3rd act, I would have the hero go through a competition till we get to the final big fight scene.

2. Select the types of action you’ll use.

• A. Chase/Pursuit: Use.
• B. Fight: Use.
• C. Shootout: Use.
• D. Rescue: Use.
• E. Escape/Evade: Use.
• F. Competition: Use.
• G. Dangerous Situations: Use.
• H. Interrogation: Use.
• I. Torture: Use.

3. Sequence the action scenes to deliver your story. Give us your list of action scenes and the purpose of each scene.

1). Discovery: The hero does not know the villain is looking for her. She meets someone who looks trustworthy but knows she doesn’t belong with him but leaves with him anyway.

Purpose: Create a mystery about who this girl is and why she is so sought after. Also, why doesn’t she know how special she is?

Chase Pursuit: The Villain realizes she is the girl he has been looking for and starts a chase after her. Finding her old Mentor, the Villain tortures her to get to the girl.

Purpose: Now the Hero knows she’s way over her head, and people are killing off her only known family. She is forced to follow the Kidnapper for her safety.

Dangerous Situation: The Villain kills the mentor and orders his goons to find the girl and bring her to him at any cost.

Rescue: The kidnappers have to rescue the girl and take her to safety. A fight breaks out between the kidnappers and the goons. The Girl realizes she is more powerful than she thought.

Purpose: To get the hero to fight off the goons, showing strength and ability to have skills she didn’t know she had.

Escape: The Hero jumps into the future and new territory. She meets a band of soldiers dedicated to fighting the villain with her newfound power.

Purpose: The hero needs to regain her strength and learn her newfound abilities. The villain needs to come up with a new plan.

Fight/ Shootout:

A big fight happens here between the Hero and the Villain. The Hero attempts to use her skills and powers to fight back, only to be defeated.

Purpose: The Hero has not entirely accepted herself and is unaware of who she is fighting against. The Villain goes ahead with his plans of domination.

Competition: A big one-on-one fight happens between the hero and the villain to determine who shall win this battle.

[Raz Ray]

Subject Line: Raz Ray’s Villain Track.

What I learned doing this assignment is? : My villains need to have a concrete plan of attack against the hero. They need to go through the emotions as well, like being scared or unsure. They also need to be more detrimental to the hero.

1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.

• A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.
• The Villain has accomplished evil deeds, such as tracking down the hero when young to destroy her next of kin. Making the hero believe she is orphaned and not loved and scaring her from ever using violence again.
• B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero?: The villain kills her mother and banishes her father. The villain searches the lands for her, offering an award. The Villain will strike fear and violence around the hero.
• C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie?: The Villain is much older than the Hero. Also, the Villain is aware of what’s happening, while the Hero has no idea why she’s such a threat. The Hero’s parents are missing, so the Villain feels secure with that knowledge.
• D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done?: To have the hero muster up the courage to attack the Villain in combat, killing him and his reign of terror over everybody.

2. Include labels with each step of their plan.

Develop your own set of labels, but make sure you clearly show decisions, plans, and actions your Villain takes.

1. MISTAKE: When the Villain purchases the young woman at a Geisha house, he is unaware she is the girl they have been looking for.
2. <strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>DILEMMA: <font face=”inherit”>The girl gets taken away by the people he is also looking for. He feels stupid in his decision to always chase pleasure but not finish business. His d</font>ilemma <font face=”inherit”>is not really strong. He knows what he has to do but is not sure of how. </font>
3. DECISION/KILL HIM: He immediately gathers his soldiers together and a spiritual informant he trusts to search for the Geisha.
4. PLAN/HIT CONTRACT: He finds the older Lady who sold him the Geisha to find the whereabouts of the girl. She does not want to give her up so he decides to kill her with his soldiers.
5. PLAN/HIDING OUT: With the spiritual woman he finds the Geisha girl at the monastery and surrounds the building with his soldiers.
6. CAPTURE: Geisha learns that she is a great warrior and has created a weapon to fight the evil villain spirit. She is also surrounded by the villain but is too weak to defeat him.
7. RETALIATION: In retaliation, the villain kills one of the kidnappers who helped the Geisha. The villain also loses his spiritual advisor.
8. ESCAPE: The Bugeisha now escapes into a portal that leads into the future and is being chased by the villain.
9. FITTING ENDING: The Bugeisha realizes who she is and knows she doesn’t have to run in fear anymore. She has the power, courage and knowledge to defeat the villain. She uses her new weapon to attack the villain killing him with the help of her kidnappers.

[Raz Ray]

SUBJECT LINE: Raz Ray: Hero Mission Track.

What I learned doing this assignment?

I learned that maybe my hero’s purpose could be stronger. She needs more motivation to attack her enemies.

1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.

• A. What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the overwhelming odds? : Finding out and wanting to know the truth about her past. To stop the voices in her head.
• B. What is the mission that would be an impossible goal?: The Villains who know her past have unlimited resources at their disposal.
• C. What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero?: The hero wants to return home to her peaceful timeline and live a simple life.
• D. Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain?: She could join the villain or be destroyed and become a martyr.

2. Use the Mission Steps to outline the mission.

Clear Mission: To Assassinate high-level Elites and break the genocidal spells placed on humanity.

• Motivation: After being taken from her timeline, she wants to return home where she is at peace.
• Inciting Incident: She is grudgingly sold to a high-level Elite at the Geisha house.
• First Action: The Hero is kidnapped by futuristic soldiers who claim to know about her past and then is taken to the Elite’s home.
• Obstacle: Run from the Elite, learn about her past
• Escalation: Side with the kidnappers and run.
• Overwhelming Odds: The Elites send their assassins to hunt you down. The Hero decides to follow her kidnappers into the future.
• New Plan: Instead of escaping her fears, the truth and her problems, she decided to take up the warrior’s code and learn how to fight.
• Full out Attack: The Hero confronts fights her way through the overwhelming odds of bodyguards, security staff, law enforcement, military, and augmented personal.
• Success: The Hero figures out the reason why she wants to become a killer and delivers the final blow to the villain.

[Raz Ray]

Hero: Bugeisha. Villain: Mammon Faust.

What I have learned doing this assignment?: I have learned more about what my characters want and what they’re willing to do to attain it.

1. Fill in the blanks and see what shows up.

Concept:

• Hero Morally Right: Kill the oppressors, fight for the people.
• Villain Morally Wrong: Reduce the population, enslave the people.

Hero

• A. Unique Skill Set: She has a cosmic weapon. The only one able to break the spells.
• B. Motivation: To return to her timeline and forget about the dirty deeds she committed in the future. To become a submissive wife and mother.
• C. Secret or Wound: She fears that the more she kills, the more she will like it and become like her enemies. To live a life surrounded by violence, which has taken everything she loved away from her.

Villain

• A. Unbeatable: Trillionaire. Has access to vast resources.
• B. Plan/Goal: To buy all the resources on the planet and attain the cosmic weapon.
• C. What they lose if Hero survives: They will lose their tyrannical control of society and their immortal lives.

Impossible Mission

• A. Puts Hero in Action: The Elites are using their vast resources to hunt her down first before she finds and hunts them down.
• B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: She gets broken down mentally, physically, and spiritually to fight back with lash-out violence.
• C. Destroy the Villain: Society will reset and not be controlled by fear. The Planet will become healthy again.

2. Once you have filled in a quick answer to each, go back and extrapolate (If _____, then how might _____?) to elevate any answers you can.

3. Tell us your improved answers.

4. Answer the question, “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.

5. Post your assignment in the forums at http://www.ScreenwritingClasses.com/forums

Subject line: (Your Name’s) Hero and Villain (place in first line)

[Raz Ray]

Les Ray.

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Raz Ray]

1). Hi, my name is Les Ray or Raz.

2). I’ve written about seven scripts.

3). I’m hoping to learn how to visually see the action in my head and write it better on paper.

4). I’ve created my own comic book series.

[Raz Ray]

What I learned doing this assignment:

There is more to action than just the protagonist and antagonist fighting each other.

Concept:

In a dystopian future, Neo Sapient freedom fighters travel back in time to kidnap a pacifist Geisha and bring her to the future to help them assassinate evil elites responsible for placing society under their genocidal spell.

Conventions:

Heroes: The Geisha, Neo-Sapient Freedom Fighters.

Demand for Action: The Pacifist Geisha is kidnapped and forced to assassinate powerful elites to return home.

Mission: To break the genocidal spell on humanity.

Antagonist: Rich and powerful, evil Elites.

Escalating Action: The pacifist Geisha has to train to become a Neo-Sapient assassin and learn to work with her kidnappers to complete the mission and return home. Although she is hunting evil Elites, they are also hunting her down.