
Rich Goldstein
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It’s readily apparent that the scene is masterfully written. We were given almost simultaneous introductions of a group of twelve characters, ensuring distinct personalities and voices come through as the story is unfolding. We can also glean who the toughest opponents are going to be for the protagonist. Combining certain actions and dialogue inherent in character traits reveals how conflict can be played out on various levels.
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This scene great from a writing perspective due to using specific dialogue throughout to tease out the personalities of the jurors. It’s not difficult to glean how most of them think and how prejudice plays a part in their decision making. Some of their attire and attitudes speak to their professions and backgrounds.
The scene arc begins with twelve men who don’t know each other well being locked in a room on ‘the hottest day of the year’ to decide the fate of an accused murderer. The setting provides the first discomfort. To top it off, by all means this is an open and shut case, yet one of the men delivers a preliminary vote of not guilty, opposing the other eleven jurors. Some are surprised and some are angry. Almost all demand to know why, and are not satisfied with his response of ‘not being sure’ and ‘just wanting to talk it out’. Rather than rush to a decision he wants to digest the situation and not make a mistake about it.
A battle is about to begin, with eleven jurors intent on trying to convince the one outlier why they’re right and he’s wrong.
In this premise the stakes are high – life or death of a teenager – and the dilemma of the moral code of one man challenging the majority sets this story into action.
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It takes a lot of thought, effort, and planning to write a great scene.
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From a writing perspective this scene worked wonderfully in a number of ways. The action drove the scene while the dialogue was sharp and succinct. While dialogue was exposition, it revealed what each of the characters knew and very importantly didn’t know, and at the same time engaged the audience with mystery, intrigue and action. The sequencing of action built suspense. The setups and payoffs were abundant: Joker sitting out the robbery yet expecting the money. Bank manager called a private number, safe wired with high voltage, who dies that? – Mob. Robbers picking off one another – sequential with impeccable timing. School bus as getaway – Blending into a line of them. And irony: Bank manager laundering and storing mob money, goes off about the thieves lacking honor and integrity. Twist at the end – It was the Joker, and while his actions displayed a psychosis, he freely admits to being ‘off’ just before his successful getaway. He has the capacity to plan very complicated plans with precision and execute them mercilessly. Thinking forward just from this point, we can surmise Batman does not know what’s coming his way, but we do, and it’s not good. A great nemesis for the protagonist, and a great hook to lead us into the rest of the story.
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Rich Goldstein here.
I’ve written five shorts, three feature length, and two more features in process.
What I hope to get from the class is a better grasp on creating more depth, in both character and story.
I’m not certain about uniqueness, but retired Army.
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