Rich Hynes
Forum Replies Created
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What is Samantha’s Character Profile?
Role: Leader/Mother
Traits: Driven, Focused, Fearless
Fears: Losing her family
Wants/Needs: Wants to get her children back. Needs to stop the monster and protect her community.
Likability / Rooting factors: She’s a badass when she needs to be. Natural leader/quickly takes command. Sees the bigger picture.
How they react under stress: Cool as a cucumber. Even when it all hits the fan. During the most extreme of circumstances, she only just starts to show her nerves fraying.
Relationship with other characters: Family, both immediate and extended. They’re all her responsibility.
What is Samantha’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Normal mother interacting with her family. In charge but with a soft touch. Prone to misplacing her keys.
Denial: Dismissive of Priest’s warning that her daughter was kidnapped by a monster. Has to be a human(s).
Their reaction at first horror: Fine. It’s a monster. Gimmie back my kids or I’ll destroy you.
Relation to group after first horror: Tries to maintain command, keep everyone alive and still achieve the objective.
How they fight back: With everything she has. With everything at her disposal. Axe, Fire, dynamite.
End Point: Blows herself up along with the monster and the storage facility to save her daughter.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? A mother will do whatever she need to to protect her family.
What is Benjamin’s Character Profile?
Role: Rescuer/Father
Traits: Strong, Brave, Levelheaded
Fears: Losing his family, a team member
Wants/Needs: Wants to get his kids back. Get his family home safely
Likability / Rooting factors: He’s a good father and leader. Fair. Thinks things through. Just careful enough.
How they react under stress: The tougher things get, the stronger he comes back. Wants to protect/save everyone. Not above making the sacrifice play.
Relationship with other characters: Father figure at home, father figure at work. Everyone looks up to him.
What is Benjamin’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Normal father getting ready with his family in the morning. Paying attention, watching over everything.
Denial: Doesn’t believe the priest. Can’t believe normal/expected support systems aren’t going to help.
Their reaction at first horror: Freeze, assess, then try to put an axe through its head.
Relation to group after first horror: Team leader, counter balance to his wife.
How they fight back: Focused and methodical. Just like fighting a fire.
End Point: Sacrifices himself so his family can escape.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? A father will make any sacrifice to protects his family.
What is Smitty’s Character Profile?
Role: Rebel/Rule breaker
Traits: Full of life. Happy-go-lucky.
Fears: Failing at the crucial moment. Also, drowning.
Wants/Needs: To get the job done. To make the save. To be the guy that comes through in the clinch.
Likability / Rooting factors: Everybody loves Smitty and that ear-to-ear smile.
How they react under stress: He pushes through. Harder and harder until he approaches breaker like commitment and ferocity. Refuses to retreat, even to his determent and the determent of the mission.
Relationship with other characters: The firefighters look up to him as an example of courage and commitment. He’s the guy they go to when they have a problem.
What is Smitty’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Taking the engine for an unauthorized spin under the guise of training to run an errand for the chief. Because fire trucks are awesome.
Denial: He denies the reality of the situation. Acts like it’s just another day at the office. Until it isn’t.
Their reaction at first horror: He freezes. Just totally freezes with fear.
Relation to group after first horror: A little broken. Quiet. Just follows orders.
How they fight back: He forces himself to go on. Just one foot in front of the other.
End Point: Appears to drown in a rooftop water tank trying to save someone. Comes back and dies fighting the monster in act 3.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Not everything is as it seems.
What is Emma’s Character Profile?
Role: Out of control/daredevil
Traits: Bold. Hot headed and quick tempered. Reckless. Thinks she’s invincible.
Fears: Being attacked by dogs.
Wants/Needs: Adrenalin and recognition. Not a “look, a woman can do it too” recognition. A “DID YOU SEE THAT!?! That was AWESOME! Let’s do it again!” kinda recognition.
Likability / Rooting factors: Her energy and enjoyment of every challenge.
How they react under stress: Eats stress for breakfast. Usually.
Relationship with other characters: Strong teammate. A little bit of a problem with her recklessness.
What is Emma’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Riding on top of the fire truck. Where you’re not supposed to ride.
Denial: That there’s a real possibility she could die.
Their reaction at first horror: She freaks. The reality sets in. She becomes cautions/afraid.
Relation to group after first horror: Unreliable and skittish. Barely holding it together. Want’s to escape.
How they fight back: Tries to be stealthy.. Want’s to be invisible. To sneak up on it.
End Point: Eaten by hell hound puppies after getting trapped
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Recklessness is not always a good thing.
What is Kyle’s Character Profile?
Role: Complainer
Traits: Kinda whiny. Doesn’t want to be there.
Fears: Fears being killed.
Wants/Needs: Just wants to get out of there.
Likability / Rooting factors: He does what he has to, but no more. Put upon.
How they react under stress: Poorly. Cowardly and negative. Doomsayer.
Relationship with other characters: Not their favorite guy on the team.
What is Kyle’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Hiding in the fire truck, afraid to get caught.
Denial: Not our problem. Let the professionals handle it.
Their reaction at first horror: Abject terror. Breaks and runs.
Relation to group after first horror: Has to be found/rescued.
How they fight back: Survival mode only. Frantic. On the run.
End Point: Dies badly. Tortured and killed by monster.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? A fear-filled treat for the monster. Allows him to show his powers.
What is Mikey’s Character Profile?
Role: The Moral One.
Traits: New. Naive. Rule follower.
Fears: Not being able to pull his weight. Afraid he’ll break and run.
Wants/Needs: Just wants to go home.
Likability / Rooting factors: The new guy. Young and excited hopeful. Until shot goes sideways.
How they react under stress: He handles stress badly. His fear and doubt are obvious. Questions orders. Why me?
Relationship with other characters: The kid and the new guy. Bossed around. Hazed.
What is Mikey’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Hiding in the truck with Kyle. Afraid of getting in trouble.
Their reaction at first horror: Breaks and runs. Hides.
Relation to group after first horror: He’s a liability.
How they fight back: Poorly. Tries to escape and fails.
End Point: Panics, hides, dies screaming in a storage unit.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Don’t turtle.
What is Priest’s Character Profile?
Role: The Carrier
Traits: Dark and mysterious. Tries to hard to convince. Arrogant.
Fears: Failing in his mission and becoming a servant of evil.
Wants/Needs: The be proven right. To be vindicated. To vanquish the evil he’s been hunting.
Likability / Rooting factors: Not many. He appears to be the person they need to get the job done. He’s necessary, or so he says.
How they react under stress: Gets cranky and short tempered. Especially when questioned.
Relationship with other characters: He’s an outsider. He’s only there because he convinced them the can’t win without him.
What is Priest’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: The mysterious stranger who appears in the eleventh hour.
Denial: Thinks that the evil is no match for him.
Their reaction at first horror: Shits himself. Totally out of his league. Immediately killed by monster.
Relation to group after first horror: Dead.
How they fight back: Bleeds on monster.
End Point: Killed viscerally to demonstrate the severity of the situation.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Sometimes the smartest guy in the room, isn’t the smartest guy in the room. Beware of “experts”.
What is Olivia’s Character Profile?
Role: Sacrificial Lamb
Traits: Normal teenager put in extreme circumstance
Fears: Several. TBD
Wants/Needs: Escape and survival. Keep sanity.
Likability / Rooting factors: An innocent
How they react under stress: Terrified. Paralyzed at times.
Relationship with other characters: The daughter and the victim
What is Olivia’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Happy morning. Just got a new bed.
Denial: N/A
Their reaction at first horror: Terrified victim. Continuous terror.
Relation to group after first horror: Victim with ticking clock now. The danger is real.
How they fight back: Try to resist and escape.
End Point: The severely damaged survivor.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? “At what cost?”
What is Noah’s Character Profile?
Role: Monster Bait
Traits: Impulsive. Guilty.
Fears: Fear of getting his sister killed. Fear of death. Other fears TBD
Wants/Needs: Rescue his sister and escape. Survive. Keep sanity.
Likability / Rooting factors: Good kid. Knows he screwed up. Trying to fix it.
How they react under stress: Like a typical teenager
Relationship with other characters: The son and the victim.
What is Noah’s Character Journey for this story?
Character Intro: Told to dispose of the mattress properly by father
Denial: Not my fault!
Their reaction at first horror: What have I done?
Relation to group after first horror: Second victim with ticking clock now. The danger is real
How they fight back: Try to resist and escape. Try to free sister.
End Point: Almost makes it out. Almost.
What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? The good guys don’t always win. You have to live with the consequences of your choices.
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ASSIGNMENT
Rich’s Monster Reveal:
What I learned doing this assignment is that revealing the monster is an art,
1. Knowing your concept, fill in one or two sentences for each of the plot points.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established
◦ A local townie pulls his truck to the side of the road, dumps his mattress and pulls away. Later, a cargo van picks up the mattress. It follows him home and kidnaps him. As the van pulls away, we see the storage company logo.
◦ Horror Situation: Townie is ambushed and kidnapped in his house off screen — horrendous shrieks/screams — then taken away.
◦ Reaction: Failed resistance. Taken away kicking and screaming.
◦ Monster Reveal: Mattresses are a thing for some reason
• Connect with the characters
◦ The family starting their day at home. Daughter gets new mattress. Son tasked with taking old mattress to dump on way to concert with friends. Probie shows up to deliver lieutenant mom’s “lost” keys for thousandth time but with new GPS tag attached.
• The characters are warned not to do it.
◦ Friends want son to just dump mattress on side of road so they don’t have to go out of their way. One friend advises against it.
• Denial of Horror
◦ Daughter is kidnapped. Think it’s just a regular kidnapping. Priest shows up: a demon took your daughter. Dismiss him as crazy.
◦ Horror Situation: Daughter is stalked/tormented inside of house and then violently kidnapped.
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – Parents return home. Call police.
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster has powerful minions
• Safety taken away
◦ Police contacted: No help. Reveal systemic demonic corruption. The parents are on their own.
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster has corrupt humans helping/in thrall
• Monster: The nature of the beast.
◦ Parents return home to find grieving/guilty son has dumped mattress to become bait. Wants to be kidnapped to find sister. Swallowed GPS tag. Parents fight kidnappers but lose. The parents track the GPS to the storage facility.
◦ Horror Situation: Waiting to be taken. Parents discover son’s plan. Try to fight off demons. Fail
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – parents fight kidnapping demons
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
◦ Firefighters and priest arrive at storage facility to help. The group storms the facility to rescue the kids. It’s immediately locked down, sealing them in. Now they can’t leave. It’s on.
◦ Horror Situation: Start searching “normal” storage facility. Psychological attacks amping everyone up. “Something is wrong here.”
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – Keep searching. Follow GPS.
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster has a lair
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• Character Death 1: Priest
• Why: To show how vicious Drochchodladh Hamaa is. The “plan” is gone. So is hope.
◦ How: Indiana Jones… Demon Style: Drochchodladh Hamaa manifests in full for the first time, pulls his heart out and eats it in front of the group. Then rips his head off and tosses it to them.
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster can blink and shadow walk
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster is strong and fast
◦ Monster Reveal: The Monster can be wounded.
• One of us killed
◦ Probie panics and is the first to go. Stupid probie.
◦ Horror Situation: Impending doom. Probie thinks he’s gonna die. Probie is correct.
◦ Reaction: Hide. Bad move. Eaten alive by hell hounds.
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster torments/scares its victims
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster devours your soul (psychic energy)
• Character Death 2: Mikey
• Why: Panics/Freaks out. Runs. I’m outta here! Bad choice probie. Bad choice. Dead!
◦ How: Panics and runs off. Hides in storage unit. Demon reanimates stored remains who rip him to shreds and then demon devours him.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer/Terrorized
◦ The Demon torments the team, hunting them through the maze of the storage center. Toying with them. Enjoying the game.
◦ Horror Situation: Trapped. Return to exit to find it blocked. No escape.
◦ Reaction: Denial – must be another way out & Fight – fight our way to kids then out.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
• Fight to the death
◦ The Demon and his minions start picking of the team.
◦ Horror Situation: Attacked/tormented by demon and staff
◦ Reaction: Fight/run/flee/go mad
• Character Death 3: Smitty
• Why: To show everybody’s vulnerable.
◦ How: Apparent death: Drowned/eaten in rooftop water tank swamp-sludge after being deceived into trying to save another victim. Actual Death: Comes back in the end to help friends fight their way out. Killed by Demon’s minions as he kills them. Goes down swinging. Demon devours his soul.
• Character Death 4: Kyle
• Why: Kyle keeps telling anyone and everyone that he’s sure he’s gonna dine. Turns out, he was correct. By Klye!
◦ How: Crushed from the feet up like toothpaste as the Demon taunts, then devours him
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster can effect dreams/memories
• Hysteria
◦ The dwindling team realize they’re in over their heads and that this is a no win situation.
• Character Death 5: Emma
• Why: Her overly reckless nature finally catches up with her. Sorry kid.
◦ How: Fear of dogs (mild phobia) – eaten by horde of little hell hound puppies after rushing into situation and getting trapped. Demon devours her soul.
◦ Horror Situation: Finally find kids in demon’s chamber. Seat of demon’s power. Demon attacks them directly
◦ Reaction: Overcome with Fear. Hopelessness.
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster is afraid of bright light
◦ Monster Reveal: the monster is physically mortal (Like a dragon)
• The thrilling escape from death
◦ Parents manage to rescue one of both of the children. Dad sacrifices himself to get them out. Mom mom stays behind to keep them safe/destroy the monster.
◦ Horror Situation: Save father or kids
◦ Reaction: Sacrifice father.
• Character Death 6: Benjamin
• Why: Sacrifices himself so that Sam and the kids can escape.
◦ How: Samantha is forced to cut him in half to save the children and escape.
• Character Death 7: Noah
• Why: Killed on the run to save Olivia as they’re just about to escape So close!
◦ How: Caught by the demon from the shadows right as they’re about to make it out the door. Taken back to table and devoured as planned. #Heartbreaking
◦ Monster Reveal: The monster is cowardly, greedy and gluttonous
• Death returns to take one or more.
◦ Mom sacrifices herself to destroy the demon.
◦ Horror Situation: Trapped. Not all making it out alive.
◦ Reaction: Fight. Sacrifice herself to give kid a chance.
• Character Death 8:Samantha
• Why: Sacrifices herself to save Olivia and stop Drochchodladh Hamaa once and for all.
◦ How: Magnesium flare and axe to gas main pipe. Final BOOM!
• Resolution
◦ Kids found outside devastated storage center completely traumatized. City officials usher them off to be “taken care of”. Reveal that they’re part of the corrupt demon’s network.
• Survivor: Olivia
• Why: First victim. Most traumatized. Still screwed over by minions after survival.
◦ How: Walk away – signature ding as she’s put into backseat of car.
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ASSIGNMENT
Rich’s Character Death Track:
What I learned doing this assignment is that the peppering in of the deaths is important to the story flow.
1. Knowing your concept, fill in one or two sentences for each of the plot points.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established
◦ A local townie pulls his truck to the side of the road, dumps his mattress and pulls away. Later, a cargo van picks up the mattress. It follows him home and kidnaps him. As the van pulls away, we see the storage company logo.
◦ Horror Situation: Townie is ambushed and kidnapped in his house off screen — horrendous shrieks/screams — then taken away.
◦ Reaction: Failed resistance. Taken away kicking and screaming.
• Connect with the characters
◦ The family starting their day at home. Daughter gets new mattress. Son tasked with taking old mattress to dump on way to concert with friends. Probie shows up to deliver lieutenant mom’s “lost” keys for thousandth time but with new GPS tag attached.
• The characters are warned not to do it.
◦ Friends want son to just dump mattress on side of road so they don’t have to go out of their way. One friend advises against it.
• Denial of Horror
◦ Daughter is kidnapped. Think it’s just a regular kidnapping. Priest shows up: a demon took your daughter. Dismiss him as crazy.
◦ Horror Situation: Daughter is stalked/tormented inside of house and then violently kidnapped.
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – Parents return home. Call police.
• Safety taken away
◦ Police contacted: No help. Reveal systemic demonic corruption. The parents are on their own.
• Monster: The nature of the beast.
◦ Parents return home to find grieving/guilty son has dumped mattress to become bait. Wants to be kidnapped to find sister. Swallowed GPS tag. Parents fight kidnappers but lose. The parents track the GPS to the storage facility.
◦ Horror Situation: Waiting to be taken. Parents discover son’s plan. Try to fight off demons. Fail
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – parents fight kidnapping demons
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
◦ Firefighters and priest arrive at storage facility to help. The group storms the facility to rescue the kids. It’s immediately locked down, sealing them in. Now they can’t leave. It’s on.
◦ Horror Situation: Start searching “normal” storage facility. Psychological attacks amping everyone up. “Something is wrong here.”
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – Keep searching. Follow GPS.
• Character Death 1: Priest
• Why: To show how vicious Drochchodladh Hamaa is. The “plan” is gone. So is hope.
◦ How: Indiana Jones… Demon Style: Drochchodladh Hamaa manifests in full for the first time, pulls his heart out and eats it in front of the group. Then rips his head off and tosses it to them.
• One of us killed
◦ Probie panics and is the first to go. Stupid probie.
◦ Horror Situation: Impending doom. Probie thinks he’s gonna die. Probie is correct.
◦ Reaction: Hide. Bad move. Eaten alive by hell hounds.
• Character Death 2: Mikey
• Why: Panics/Freaks out. Runs. I’m outta here! Bad choice probie. Bad choice. Dead!
◦ How: Panics and runs off. Hides in storage unit. Demon reanimates stored remains who rip him to shreds and then demon devours him.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer/Terrorized
◦ The Demon torments the team, hunting them through the maze of the storage center. Toying with them. Enjoying the game.
◦ Horror Situation: Trapped. Return to exit to find it blocked. No escape.
◦ Reaction: Denial – must be another way out & Fight – fight our way to kids then out.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
• Fight to the death
◦ The Demon and his minions start picking of the team.
◦ Horror Situation: Attacked/tormented by demon and staff
◦ Reaction: Fight/run/flee/go mad
• Character Death 3: Smitty
• Why: To show everybody’s vulnerable.
◦ How: Apparent death: Drowned/eaten in rooftop water tank swamp-sludge after being deceived into trying to save another victim. Actual Death: Comes back in the end to help friends fight their way out. Killed by Demon’s minions as he kills them. Goes down swinging. Demon devours his soul.
• Character Death 4: Kyle
• Why: Kyle keeps telling anyone and everyone that he’s sure he’s gonna dine. Turns out, he was correct. By Klye!
◦ How: Crushed from the feet up like toothpaste as the Demon taunts, then devours him
• Hysteria
◦ The dwindling team realize they’re in over their heads and that this is a no win situation.
• Character Death 5: Emma
• Why: Her overly reckless nature finally catches up with her. Sorry kid.
◦ How: Fear of dogs (mild phobia) – eaten by horde of little hell hound puppies after rushing into situation and getting trapped. Demon devours her soul.
◦ Horror Situation: Finally find kids in demon’s chamber. Seat of demon’s power. Demon attacks them directly
◦ Reaction: Overcome with Fear.hopelessness.
• The thrilling escape from death
◦ Parents manage to rescue one of both of the children. Dad sacrifices himself to get them out. Mom mom stays behind to keep them safe/destroy the monster.
◦ Horror Situation: Save father or kids
◦ Reaction: Sacrifice father.
• Character Death 6: Benjamin
• Why: Sacrifices himself so that Sam and the kids can escape.
◦ How: Samantha is forced to cut him in half to save the children and escape.
• Character Death 7: Noah
• Why: Killed on the run to save Olivia as they’re just about to escape So close!
◦ How: Caught by the demon from the shadows right as they’re about to make it out the door. Taken back to table and devoured as planned. #Heartbreaking
• Death returns to take one or more.
◦ Mom sacrifices herself to destroy the demon.
◦ Horror Situation: Trapped. Not all making it out alive.
◦ Reaction: Fight. Sacrifice herself to give kid a chance.
• Character Death 8:Samantha
• Why: Sacrifices herself to save Olivia and stop Drochchodladh Hamaa once and for all.
◦ How: Magnesium flare and axe to gas main pipe. Final BOOM!
• Resolution
◦ Kids found outside devastated storage center completely traumatized. City officials usher them off to be “taken care of”. Reveal that they’re part of the corrupt demon’s network.
• Survivor: Olivia
• Why: First victim. Most traumatized. Still screwed over by minions after survival.
◦ How: Walk away – signature ding as she’s put into backseat of car.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Rich Hynes.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
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Rich’s Horror Situation Track:
What I learned doing this assignment is that this one was hard. It really made me reevaluate the monster/his abilities/the abilities of his minions and the effect the horror situations have on the natural flow of the story.
1. Knowing your concept, fill in one or two sentences for each of the plot points.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established
◦ A local townie pulls his truck to the side of the road, dumps his mattress and pulls away. Later, a cargo van picks up the mattress. It follows him home and kidnaps him. As the van pulls away, we see the storage company logo.
◦ Horror Situation: Townie is ambushed and kidnapped in his house off screen — horrendous shrieks/screams — then taken away.
◦ Reaction: Failed resistance. Taken away kicking and screaming.
• Connect with the characters
◦ The family starting their day at home. Daughter gets new mattress. Son tasked with taking old mattress to dump on way to concert with friends. Probie shows up to deliver lieutenant mom’s “lost” keys for thousandth time but with new GPS tag attached.
• The characters are warned not to do it.
◦ Friends want son to just dump mattress on side of road so they don’t have to go out of their way. One friend advises against it.
• Denial of Horror
◦ Daughter is kidnapped. Think it’s just a regular kidnapping. Priest shows up: a demon took your daughter. Dismiss him as crazy.
◦ Horror Situation: Daughter is stalked/tormented inside of house and then violently kidnapped.
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – Parents return home. Call police.
• Safety taken away
◦ Police contacted: No help. Reveal systemic demonic corruption. The parents are on their own.
• Monster: The nature of the beast.
◦ Parents return home to find grieving/guilty son has dumped mattress to become bait. Wants to be kidnapped to find sister. Swallowed GPS tag. Parents fight kidnappers but lose. The parents track the GPS to the storage facility.
◦ Horror Situation: Waiting to be taken. Parents discover son’s plan. Try to fight off demons. Fail
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – parents fight kidnapping demons
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
◦ Firefighters and priest arrive at storage facility to help. The group storms the facility to rescue the kids. It’s immediately locked down, sealing them in. Now they can’t leave. It’s on.
◦ Horror Situation: Start searching “normal” storage facility. Psychological attacks amping everyone up. “Something is wrong here.”
◦ Reaction: Try to solve – Keep searching. Follow GPS.
• One of us killed
◦ Probie panics and is the first to go. Stupid probie.
◦ Horror Situation: Impending doom. Probie thinks he’s gonna die. Probie is correct.
◦ Reaction: Hide. Bad move. Eaten alive by hell hounds.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer/Terrorized
◦ The Demon torments the team, hunting them through the maze of the storage center. Toying with them. Enjoying the game.
◦ Horror Situation: Trapped. Return to exit to find it blocked. No escape.
◦ Reaction: Denial – must be another way out & Fight – fight our way to kids then out.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
• Fight to the death
◦ The Demon and his minions start picking of the team.
◦ Horror Situation: Attacked/tormented by demon and staff
◦ Reaction: Fight/run/flee/go mad
• Hysteria
◦ The dwindling team realize they’re in over their heads and that this is a no win situation.
◦ Horror Situation: Finally find kids in demon’s chamber. Seat of demon’s power. Demon attacks them directly
◦ Reaction:
• The thrilling escape from death
◦ Parents manage to rescue one of both of the children. Dad sacrifices himself to get them out. Mom mom stays behind to keep them safe/destroy the monster.
◦ Horror Situation: Save father or kids
◦ Reaction: Sacrifice father,
• Death returns to take one or more.
◦ Mom sacrifices herself to destroy the demon.
◦ Horror Situation: Trapped. Not all making it out alive.
◦ Reaction: Fight. Sacrifice herself to give kid a chance.
• Resolution
◦ Kids found outside devastated storage center completely traumatized. City officials usher them off to be “taken care of”. Reveal that they’re part of the corrupt demon’s network.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Rich Hynes.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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Rich’s Horror Plot
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of building the story’s skeleton. Knowing what needs to go where and when so as to keep it flowing and making sense.
1. Knowing your concept, fill in one or two sentences for each of the plot points.
ACT 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
• Atmosphere of Evil established
◦ A local townie pulls his truck to the side of the road, dumps his mattress and pulls away. Later, a cargo van picks up the mattress. It follows him home and kidnaps him. As the van pulls away, we see the storage company logo.
• Connect with the characters
◦ The family starting their day at home. Daughter gets new mattress. Son tasked with taking old mattress to dump on way to concert with friends. Probie shows up to deliver lieutenant mom’s “lost” keys for thousandth time but with new GPS tag attached.
• The characters are warned not to do it.
◦ Friends want son to just dump mattress on side of road so they don’t have to go out of their way. One friend advises against it.
• Denial of Horror
◦ Daughter is kidnapped. Think it’s just a regular kidnapping. Priest shows up: a demon took your daughter. Dismiss him as crazy.
• Safety taken away
◦ Police contacted: No help. Reveal systemic demonic corruption. The parents are on their own.
• Monster: The nature of the beast.
◦ Parents return home to find grieving/guilty son has dumped mattress to become bait. Wants to be kidnapped to find sister. Swallowed GPS tag. Parents fight kidnappers but lose. The parents track the GPS to the storage facility.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
• Isolated / Trapped / Abducted
◦ Firefighters and priest arrive at storage facility to help. The group storms the facility to rescue the kids. It’s immediately locked down, sealing them in. Now they can’t leave. It’s on.
• One of us killed
◦ Probie panics and is the first to go. Stupid probie.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!
• Full pursuit by the killer/Terrorized
◦ The Demon torments the team, hunting them through the maze of the storage center. Toying with them. Enjoying the game.
ACT 3 — FULL OUT HORROR
• Fight to the death
◦ The Demon and his minions start picking of the team.
• Hysteria
◦ The dwindling team realize they’re in over their heads and that this is a no win situation.
• The thrilling escape from death
◦ Parents manage to rescue one of both of the children. Dad sacrifices himself to get them out. Mom mom stays behind to keep them safe/destroy the monster.
• Death returns to take one or more.
◦ Mom sacrifices herself to destroy the demon.
• Resolution
◦ Kids found outside devastated storage center completely traumatized. City officials usher them off to be “taken care of”. Reveal that they’re part of the corrupt demon’s network.
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Rich’s Characters for Horror:
What I learned doing this assignment is the joy of setting up your characters like bowling pins to be mowed down by the monster. The proverbial “box of chocolates” of personalities helping inform how they fall and how it helps tell the story.
1. Tell us your Concept and the Group you have chosen:
• TEAM OF PROFESSIONALS/SOCIAL GROUP – The parents of the kidnapped teens supported by the rest of their fire department crew. They are, by virtue of their profession, both required to venture into hostile environments as well as a close group/extended family. (Assisted by an outsider.)
2. Tell us the Dying Pattern of this movie.
• Reverse B. The characters experience the terror and die together, but one or two survive.
3. Give us an Identity and a sentence for each character that makes up your group.
• LEADER: Samantha (Lieutenant/Mom) – Leads the team and work, leads the team to rescue her children.
• RESCUER: Benjamin (Senior Firefighter/Dad) – Saves people for a living. Damned if he isn’t gonna save his family.
• REBEL / RULE BREAKER: (Firefighter /Driver) Sean – “Borrowed” the truck without permission and “encouraged” the team to volunteer to help. He’s always got Ben and Sam’s backs.
• OUT OF CONTROL: Emma (Firefighter) – Gung-ho and ready to go. Let’s do this! Volunteered without hesitation. Sees her job as fighting death anyway.
• COMPLAINER: Kyle (Firefighter) – Guilted into volunteering really. Pretty sure he’s gonna die. Not happy about it. He’s probably right.
• MORAL ONE: Mikey (The Probie) – Not as close to the family as the others. Realizes this is insane. One foot out the door. Probably gonna be the first to die.
• THE CARRIER: Priest – Brings the initial information about the Demon and his network to the family after the children are taken. Goes with them to fight. First time successfully locating the demon and his lair.
• SACRIFICIAL LAMB: Olivia (Daughter) – The Demon’s original victim.
• MONSTER BAIT: Noah (Son) – Used to locate the monsters lab.
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Rich’s Terrifying Monster or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Demon
What I learned doing this assignment is the necessity of a well thought out monster and its vital importance to the story. The monster’s methods and rules really drive the narrative. If the monster doesn’t “make sense” then the story probably won’t either. Also, for all intents and purposes, the monster is really more the hero of the horror story that the heroes are.
1. Tell us what or who your monster is.
Drochchodladh Hamaa – The Nightmare Terror, The Soul Eater. A primeval demon who feeds on human psychic energy. Particularly terror.
2. Give us a few sentences for each of the following for your monster:
Their Terror:
The Demon has his minions kidnap his victims and physically attach them to their old mattress by piercing their bodies with the mattress springs pulled thorough and straightened, then terrorizes them to the point of death with horrific nightmares and horrific hallucinations/day mares. When they can’t take any more, he finally feasts upon the accumulated fear energy and then eats their hearts and brains.
Their Mystery:
For the victims: What’s real and what’s not? When will this end? Will this ever end? What is this monster? Is anyone coming to save me? What’s going to happen to me? When is he going to kill me?
For the parents looking for the kidnapped victims: How can we find our child? Who has them? What are they doing to them? How can we save them? Are they even alive?
Their Fear Provoking Appearance:
In his true form, the Drochchodladh Hamaa is not overly large. He has mottled black skin, six flame red eyes (two main eyes and four smaller surrounding eyes) and horns that grow like thorny, twisted tree limbs from his skull and down his neck and shoulders like a mane. His ears are large and bat-like, fleshy and maneuverable to catch and savor the screams of his victims. As a devouring demon, his maw is sharp and grasping with four longer fangs for holding and a dozen or so smaller ragged teeth for ripping and tearing. He has a lean, wiry build with four long, thin arms that end in sharply-clawed hands and two goat-like legs covered in matted black fur and ending in ragged hooves.
Their Rules:
At his core, Drochchodladh is greedy and gluttonous. That’s his drive. He’s also a coward so he tries to avoid direct confrontation. While he’s technically immortal as long as he keeps feeding, he’s still a physical being so he can be wounded or killed. However he is demonically strong and fast which makes attacking him foolhardy at best. He prefers to horde his victims in the safety of his storage facility lair and has minions to do the mundane/dirty work. He can “blink” travel but it’s limited to line of sight. He can shadow walk anywhere. It’s his preferred means of attack and escape. He takes the mattress owner and holds them as long as possible to suck as much fear as he can get out of them. If the victim dies before the harvest, the feast is lost. He’s afraid of bright light due to being totally exposed by it and having no shadows to retreat into.
Their Mythology:
Long before recorded history, Drochchodladh Hamaa clawed his way out of the primordial darkness. He has fed upon humans for eons, living in dark caves and hollows. He used to take them one at a time, picking off stragglers that wandered too close to his darkness. Holding them and terrifying them and feasting on their fear. It was simple to do when humans were still primitive but it provided meager succor. It grew harder as humans developed claws of their own; first of wood and bone and stone, then of steel. Not to mention fire. As humans evolved, he was forced to as well. For many years he starved and coveted, but he was patient. He watched and learned. One of the first things he learned was that humans could be easily corrupted. Why risk a confrontation while taking a victim when, for a small fee, you could have one delivered to you? He’s been building and perfecting his network ever since.
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Oculus Horror Conventions
What I learned doing this assignment is:
There are a lot of specific notes you need to hit when writing horror. If you miss one or two, it’s noticeable. And the resolution needs to make sense/fit the story well.
Watch the movie and as you do, note its conventions.
Title / Concept:
◦ Oculus – A woman sets out to document the powers of a cursed mirror that possesses all those who gaze into it – taking control of their mind and driving them insane by manipulating their reality— thus proving that it was the mirror that killed her family years ago, not her father or brother; then destroy it. The mirror has other plans.
Terrorize The Characters:
◦ The characters are terrorized by the ornate, yet innocuous looking mirror which drives them mad by manipulating their reality, preventing them from knowing what’s real and what’s not. Including causing them to doubt what really happened years ago when the mirror possessed their parents, driving them mad and killing them both.
Isolation:
◦ The Family Home
Death:
◦ The mirror drove the parents mad by manipulating their reality causing the mother to self mutilate and try and kill her children, then made the husband shoot her and then himself while making it look like the brother shot him to stop him. For which the brother was committed to a psychiatric facility for several years. Then, when the children were grown and the brother declared sane and released, manipulated the brother into killing his sister in order to protect itself and frame him once again.
Monster/Villain:
◦ Possessed Mirror.
High Tension:
◦ What’s real and what isn’t. Accidental self harm, accidental murder due to manipulated perception. The mirror creating two distinct false realities for the brother and the sister including flashbacks to what happened when they were children. Two conflicting versions of what really happened when they were kids and what’s really happening now. Vulnerable children at the mercy of insane/evil parents.
Departure from Reality:
◦ Victims mutilating themselves and hurting loved ones. Accidentally murdering loved ones, or did they? Thinking calls for help got through. Are they still inside the house?
Moral Statement:
◦ This one I couldn’t really discern a clear answer to. Do not seek to trifle with evil?
Anything else you’d like to say about what made this movie a great horror film?
I wouldn’t say great. It felt like it was missing… something. Flashing back and forth between the two story lines – present day revenge upon the mirror and what happened when they were children – made it a little hard to follow at first. However when the two stories finally converged in the present and that it was part of the actual plot setup, it made more sense.
With your concept, fill in each of these Conventions for your story.
Concept:
◦ The Mattress Men – A demon has created a network hidden in plain site that collects old, discarded mattresses and kidnaps their owners in order to feed off the years of dream energy still contained within the mattresses. Particularly nightmares.
Terrorize The Characters:
◦ Those who are kidnapped are fused to their old mattresses and kept in a perpetual nightmare state until they’re about to die in order to collect as much nightmare energy as possible before the demon comes to harvest them.
◦ No one will help the parents of the last kidnap victim as they search for their missing daughter because they’ve been bought off by the demonic system, forcing them to go it alone with a small posse of true friends.
Isolation:
◦ A large, well-kept self-storage unit.
Death:
◦ Scared to death via unending nightmares, killed gruesomely with fear/nightmares while attempting the rescue. Murdered gruesomely during the rescue.
Monster/Villain:
◦ The High Nightmare Demon (and his earthly minions)
High Tension:
◦ The ticking clock: the longer it takes to find their daughter the less likely it is that she’s still alive. And no one who’s job it is to help them is doing so.
◦ The closer they get to succeeding, the longer they’re in the building. The longer they’re in the building, the worse the nightmares become.
Departure from Reality:
◦ Finding themselves transported into/ fighting their way through waking nightmares.
Moral Statement:
◦ Evil is everywhere and the only people you can ultimately count on is your family.
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I, Rich Hynes, agree to the terms of this release form as follows.
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hello all! My name is Rich Hynes.
I’ve written several feature scripts and TV pilots (most of which will never see the light of day,) a book and a novella. I just recently optioned my rom-com feature “Super Pregnant” so I’m excited to see where that goes.
While I’m familiar with writing scripts in general, the horror genre is new to me. I’d like to learn all the tropes, nuances, tips and tricks that are unique to it in order to make sure I’m writing the best horror script I can and not just a “good script”.
As for something about me? Before I moved to L.A. I was a volunteer first responder for the better part of 10 years. It really broadened my perspective on life and helped me grow as a person.
See you all in class! (Sorta!)