Rodger Plack
Forum Replies Created
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Max interest
What I have learned is that any scene can have built interest into it. Some scenes are to move the story along or add one bit of information. The scene can still be interesting. I’ve also earned there are different ways to spice up a scene.
Log line: Sollie gets home from a long day and is tempted by a surprise.
Scene: Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em.
Ex. Night. Sollie’s trailer.
Jeep pulls up.
Sollie gets out and enters the trailer.
Removes dirty work shirt.
checks phone for messages.
message from Drew.
Close-up of phone.
“Long day, got to get up early, going to bed soon. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Sollie puts the purse and bag with a styrofoam container down.
Sollie looks at the time and texts anyway.
Sollie: “What’s up? Trying to catch you before bed.”
Drew: “Nothing, How’s your day?
Sollie: ” Don’t ask. Tired.”
Drew; “me too. I’m in bed.
Sollie: “Oh yeah. I was thinking about coming over. You can stay right where you are.”
Drew: No, but thanks. I got a big day tomorrow.”
Sollie: ” OK, Sorry. Talk to you later”
Sollie plops down on the bench with a defeated look.
A Cubby hole above the table pops open.
Jed’s stash falls out. Included are a porn magazine and a bag of weed.
Sollie sifts through items. She grabs the bag of weed. Holds it for a moment, opens it, and lifts it to her face. She takes a big whiff.
Sollie: “not bad.”
Sollie reaches in and pulls out some buds and rolls them in her fingers.
Sollie puts the bag down and picks up the magazine and flips through it.
Sollie: “Oh, Wow! You dirty boy Jed.”
Sollie looks down at the table and stares at the bag of weed. Contemplation is all over her face. She picks up the bag and flips it back down.
Sollie: ” Nah.
cut to:
Sollie is still on the bench but now with a rolled joint in her mouth.
She lights a match that was among the items.
Sollie stares at the match, watching it burn. Transfixed on the flame until it burns her fingers.
Sollie: Ouch! Shit!
Sollie throws down the match and the joint falls out of her mouth.
Sollie: “What am I doing?” scolding herself.
Sollie picks up the joint and shakes her head back and forth.
Sollie: “Ugh.”
Sollie stares off into space. Her eyes look around the trailer. Nothing she sees impresses her. Sollie leans her head back looking up tensing her face and fighting an urge.
Sollie quickly puts the joint in her mouth, strikes another match, and lights the joint.
She closes her eyes and enjoys the inhale. Stress seems to leave her body.
Sollie: “Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em. ” reiterating a phrase from Jerry.
Sollie leans back lifts her butt and with both hands pulls her pants down.
With a joint in her mouth, Sollie picks up the magazine with her left hand. Her right hand goes down and out of the scene.
Sollie: “They do like big asses around here, Don’t they.”
End scene.
End of the episode.
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Rodger Plack
What I learned is.. as in Hal’s example with his friend. People do not change much. Their deep-rooted personality traits seem to come through no matter how hard they try to fight or hide it. People are who they are. Obviously there sometimes is some type of personal growth. But, most people do not seem to disappoint in being who they are.
Person A:
Greedy, Backstabber, Good Mother, organized, has to win.
This is a person I used to work with. To avoid conflicts I gave the person the benefit of the doubt. Eventually, I was blindsided and fired. Things worked out for the best for both of us. This person constantly comes into my new place of work. She was not a regular here before. It has been 6 years, she came in last night for Mother’s Day. She always acts like we’re best friends and wants to talk to me. I’m cordial but then go on my way. I think she actually thinks we’re friends. But, you set me up and got me fired, we are done.
Person B:
Alcoholic, Doesn’t take responsibility, Peter Pan syndrome, Fun/funny, Great storyteller.
Long time roommate and friend. Has never grown up. Nothing is ever his fault. Really nice guy but when he gets he does not respect people or their property. Fighting some kind of childhood demons. Really fun guy until he has too much. Hasn’t changed as of the last meeting.
Person C:
Sexy/seductress, Outgoing, Center of attention, open-minded, scammer.
Nice and considerate person on the outside but you never know if this is genuine or a trap. This is obviously an ex-girlfriend. We hadn’t talked in a while but she broke up with her current boyfriend so she is calling, texting, Facebooking etc.. She has not changed. She is after something. She is one of those people she is what she is, take it or leave it. I left.
Story Characters:
Solley:
Free-spirit, Alcoholic, Destructive behavior, Needs to be the center of attention, needs affirmation from others, wants to be loved/accepted.
Drew:
Insecure, Takes the easy road, Nice guy, Country boy-Southern charm.
Jerry:
Loner, Naive/slow, handyman wizard, seeks to be accepted, poor communication skills, low self worth.
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Finding the Essence
What I learned is to take a step back and look at the whole scene. Then ask myself what am I trying to achieve in this scene. What is the takeaway for the audience?
Scene 1
Location: Roadside
Logline: Solley pulls into town and calls back home.
Essence: Solley already misses home and wonders if she made a mistake. She is nervous and second-guessing. She has left the people she realizes for support.
New logline: Solley pulls into town and calls Gretchen for support and affirmation.
Scene 2
Location: Diner
Logline: Solley has dinner with Drew.
Essence: Solley finds out that things are quite a bit different in Deerfield. She is an outsider trying to fit in. She has a conflict with her convictions.
New logline: Solley learns her way of life makes her an outcast in her new surroundings.
Scene 3
Location: Principals office
Logline: Solley finds out she is not hired after all.
Essence: Solley’s past will not let go. She has changed on the outside but is she the same still on the inside? Solley is quick to jump to conclusions and not get the whole story before proceeding forward.
New Logline: Solley’s past is haunting her and keeping her from creating a future.
Scene 4
Location: Trailer/phone call
Logline: Solley gives up on her adventure
Essence: Solley is on her own. She realizes she has to do things without help.
New logline: Solley looks to Gretchen for support but realizes she has been holding her back from her own life.
Scene 5
Location: Bar Downtown
Logline: Solley gets into an accident.
Essence: Solley has demons she does not realize. They are affecting her and hurting the people around her.
New Logline: Solley’s life is about to take a drastic change as she causes tragedy.
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Understanding Essence
Slumdog Millionaire
What I’ve learned is..
Scene 1. Location: Toilets. Scene: 21.
Tag Line: Jamal’s favorite actor has just arrived by helicopter and he is stuck in a toilet.
Essence: The scene shows Jamal’s determination. This sets up the understanding of Jamal’s years of searching for Latika. The scene further shows Salim’s being a pest as an older brother and not caring for Jamal’s wishes. This will be an ongoing theme.
Scene 2. Location: Builder’s Yard. Scene 34.
Tag Line: Jamal asks Latika to join him and his brother.
Essence: This shows Jamal’s caring side. This is a difference he has from his brother. This scene links Jamal and Latika together and the beginning of their bond.
Scene 3. Location: Orphanage Scene 66.
Tag line: Salim helps his brother from being blinded by the orphan keeper and they escape.
Essence: This shows their brotherly love. It also shows, us against the world attitude they have. They can depend on each other. Salim acts as Jamal’s caretaker.
Scene 4. Location: Hotel. Scene: 148.
Tag Line: Salim takes Latika and gives her to a gang leader.
Essence: This displays a break up of the brotherhood. Salim does this so he can have a better life for himself. He loves his brother but often acts on his own desires. Latika was just freed from one imprisonment to go right into another. Salim has chosen a darker lifestyle and is growing comfortable with it.
Scene 5. Location: Javed’s Safe House. Scene: 159.
Tag line: Salim gives Latika his cell phone and car keys to help her escape.
Essence: Salim is trying to right a wrong. He understands his brother’s persistence. He realizes he will not stop until he is with Latika. He is giving his brother the better life that he deserves. Brotherly love wins over Salim’s selfishness. Salim knows helping Latika escape will be at the expense of his own life. This is a gift and apology to his brother.
The last scene is the most profound to me. Salim becomes the protector and older brother that he has not been. It shows the inevitability that Jamal and Latika are going to be together. Salim realizes this is a way to redeem himself.
<b style=”font-family: “Courier New”, Courier, “Lucida Sans Typewriter”, “Lucida Typewriter”, monospace; font-size: 1rem; white-space: pre-wrap;”>59 INT. JAVED’S SAFE-HOUSE. KITCHEN. NIGHT. 159
Latika sits in the kitchen, staring at the tv, tears running down her cheeks. A reporter is talking in front of an enlarged photograph of Jamal. Latika wipes away the tears quickly as Salim comes in. He locks the door behind him. Stares at the tv. SALIM That boy. He will never give up. Never. He shakes his head. SALIM (CONT'D) Crazy chutiy�. Salim approaches Latika. She flinches as he walks towards her. He puts some car keys in front of her. SALIM (CONT'D) Ja. Go. LATIKA But- SALIM - just drive. There won't be another chance. Go. Latika takes the keys. Hesitates. LATIKA He'll kill you. Salim smiles, shakes his head. SALIM It is not written. JAVED O/S Salim! Salim goes to the back door. Unlocks it. Opens it for her. LATIKA Salim, I....can't. Salim points at the television. SALIM You have to. It'll take you two hours if you drive fast. Here. He holds out his mobile phone. SALIM (CONT'D) For God's sake, hold on to it.
159 CONTINUED: 159 Latika takes it. Salim takes hold of both sides of her head for a moment. SALIM (CONT'D) For what I have done, please forgive me. Salim releases her. SALIM (CONT'D) Go. Have a good life. Salim puts his hands together in blessing. She leaves. Salim shuts the door, locks it. Smiles.-
This reply was modified 2 years ago by Rodger Plack.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Hello, my name is Rodger. I live in Saint Louis. I have written a comedy short and working on a series. I am continuing to learn this craft. I am still in what I feel is the novice stage. I am in this course to challenge my writing and thinking. To gain more expertise and to look at writing differently.
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