Rolando Vinas
Forum Replies Created
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ROLANDO’S MARKETING PLAN
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are many ways to skin the cat when marketing.
The first three steps I will take to when I am ready to start marketing for Writing Assignments:
- Continue to expand my producer contact list on LinkedIn.
- Send writing Assignment queries to producers who I have been in contact with in the past and those in my network.
- Write the next script in my genre to use as a writing sample.
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Rolando’s Plan for Increasing Perceived Value
What I learned doing this assignment is that ultimately you must have a strategy and execute. “Hope” is not a strategy.
1. What is your specialty? I specialize in Thrillers, specifically contained and psychological thrillers.
2. How many producers do you have in your LinkedIn Network? I currently have 1,500 producers in my network.
3. Looking at the list above titled “Increasing Your Perceived Value,” please tell us your plan for increasing your value in these three time frames:
A. Today: Send more connection requests to producers to increase my list.
B. In the next 30 days: Research producers’ successes who are in my network to congratulate them and to network.
C. In the next 6 months: Reach out to the film producers in my network when a release date comes out of the film I wrote as a writing assignment that will be released in the 2nd half of the year to promote my services.
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ROLANDO IS A NOTE-TAKING PROFESSIONAL!
What I learned is that note-taking and gaining clarity are key. Sometimes a producer can interpret a single word differently, and things can be misconstrued.
Title: Dead Meat
Logline: Pig slaughterhouse employees fight to survive Christmas Eve after a disgruntled butcher seeks to avenge the death of his pet pig.
- Cut the budget in half: The current budget would be between $2M – $5M. Let’s say it’s $2M, cutting it in half would bring it to $1M. Since most of the budget would be tied to cast and production design, cutting a couple of the scenes in the opening for setup could be cut.
- Write it for a different audience: Currently, the audience for this project is Males 25+. However, if we were to change it to Females under 25, we could change the concept so the slaughterhouse owner’s teen daughter tries to save her mother and the crew from being slaughtered by the butcher.
- Double the conflict: A couple of ways to double the conflict is the city is looking to shut down the slaughterhouse due to allegations. This would increase the conflict to create a ticking clock. Another option that can be included is that the protagonist has an ex-husband trying to gain custody of the kids. The kids are in harm’s way at the slaughterhouse, which could jeopardize things for the protagonist.
- Change the sex and age of the lead characters: The lead character is currently female. Although it would be less impactful, changing the main character to a male that is under 25 is doable. Instead of being the slaughterhouse’s owner, it could simply be a regular worker.
- Change the genre: Although this is a thriller, it can easily be horror. The horror conventions would fit well with this setting.
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ROLANDO’S DECREASED BUDGET
What I learned doing this assignment is that even though I was already familiar with most of the items on the list, there were a couple that hadn’t occurred to me.
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations – There are 12 locations<div>
Expensive locations – The most expensive locations are the airport, a plane hangar at an airport, and an airplane, for which a hydraulic set would need to be used.
Number of characters – 20. Numerous extras to play the role of passengers on the plane.
Special effects – Yes.
Number of pages – 100
Crowd scenes – At Airport
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – Yes
Special sets – Yes. The plane and the plane hangar at the end.
SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc – None. </div><div>
Explosions and Firearms – Yes.
Kids — shorter work days, tutor on the set – There is one child.
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – There is a dog.
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados – No.
Water and underwater scenes – None.
Night scenes – No
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – Yes.
Green screen work – Some.
Extensive Make-up – No.
Archival Footage – No.
Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance – Gunfight.
2. With a major scene that depends upon a “high budget variable,” take it through finding another way to deliver on the dramatic goal.
In the scene I selected from ‘The Baggage Thief,’ the Air Marshal confronts the main character in the cargo hold. In the current version, the scene has the compartment open, and all of the luggage flies out while the main character and Air Marshal fight to the death. A consideration is simply having a fight in the cargo hold and not opening it up. This would reduce the SFX and CGI budget and be considered one of the most expensive stunts in the movie. </div><div>
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ROLANDO’S REWRITE OF TOM’S (DUANE’S) TREATMENT
What I learned doing this assignment is that even when you think you’ve asked all the questions, there will always be more questions you need answers to.
The experience as the producer is always interesting because even though you may not have all the answers, you’re still trying to discover things about your project and you hope the writer will find the answers.
Title: ‘Welcome to Stink Town’ or ‘Saving Stink Town’
Genre: Drama/Holiday
Logline: A trio of teens must stop a powerful mining company from buying what’s left of their dying town before Christmas.
Montgomery, a small West Virginia town, has fallen on hard times. The local reservoir is covered in green soot, the high school is closed, and the Mine – the town’s lifeblood – is declining. It’s the holidays, and this town has little to no spirit. Three high school seniors, Johnny, Harley (“Legs”), and Tammy feeling angry and adrift after losing their latest basketball game, decide to take out their frustrations by messing with the town’s nativity scene. But when they sneak into the gym to carry out their prank, they overhear an ominous sound below. Meanwhile, a local journalist, HEATHER, interviews the mayor about the pending school sale and who the buyer will be. The mayor declines to answer and ends the interview.
The next day in school, Johnny presents a plan to Legs and Tammy to discover what’s happening with the mysterious sounds. Legs and Tammy are initially reluctant, but Johnny explains how this town is dead. It needs a story to bring everyone together behind a cause. If something is happening at the school, they need proof. They agree to investigate. That evening, they sneak onto the school grounds and search. They follow the loud sound that leads them to the basement. There they find…
… an opening to what looks to be a mine entrance. Security arrives, and the kids take off.
The town’s resident “rummy,” Jelly, quietly observes the goings-on. He’s earned his nickname for his jellyfish-like spine, which has been blamed for a past mining accident. But he’s more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for, and he sees something that Johnny and his friends miss. Montgomery sees the kids on his security cameras and has the Town police bring the boys to him. Montgomery’s son, Stephen, Johnny’s nemesis on County’s Basketball team, tells him Johnny could be useful, so Montgomery offers him a job. Johnny accepts. Meanwhile, Montgomery decides to accelerate his plans to buy up the land around the town, including the closed high school. Montgomery pressures the mayor to move up the sale.
Legs and Tammy return to the school to investigate the abandoned high school. Still, they get more than they bargained for when they stumble upon a secret mining operation deep beneath the school. They’re captured by mine security. The following day, the parents report Legs and Tammy as missing. Heather looks into it. Johnny shows up to work, snoops, and notices train cars entering the Mine property. Now Johnny knows the Mine is covering up to make it look like they are mining coal, but it’s…
Massive amounts of valuable Lithium!
Johnny searches for Legs and Tammy and finds them in a locked room in the Mine’s old, now restricted area. Johnny tries to free them, but he is captured by the mine company security and thrown in with his friends. Jelly tells Heather what happened 30 years ago but needs her to get him into the Mine operation to rescue the kids. She arranges an interview with Montgomery and takes Jelly along.
Jelly tries to find the boys, but they have been taken deeper into the Mine, where the accident happened. Johnny, Legs, and Tammy rely on stories from their Dads and Uncle to find a way out of the Mine. Heather, determined to get to the bottom of things, confronts Montgomery. He cuts off the interview, and Heather is removed from the property. Montgomery calls a judge and has been granted permission for the sale of the school to move to…
TOMORROW!
Heather gets on her live feed on Instagram and gets the word out on the story she has put together about what Montgomery is doing and how it’s tied to the missing kids. The story gets national attention. A rainstorm is in full swing. Jelly finds the shaft with the kids, but it’s flooded, trapping the teens underground. He pulls an alarm. Authorities arrive to rescue Johnny, Legs, and Tammy. The community flock to the Mine out of concern. They wait with bated breath to see if the kids are alive. They sing a Christmas song together as a show of unity. It’s shared and picked up but the news and on social media. The rescue team exits the Mine without the kids. The crowd is crestfallen. Suddenly…
WOOSH – the kids shoot out of a water discharge pipe from the Mine.
Rescue teams fish them out of the water. The putrid stench of sulfur stings their eyes. The media covers the discharge. Montgomery calls his attorney in preparation for what is to come. The crowd celebrates. There’s a spirit in the air. The energy is electric with the townsfolk. It’s a “Christmas Miracle!”
The End
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ROLANDO’S FANTASTIC TREATMENT
What I learned from this assignment is how helpful it was to have the call because it then got me to realize it would and doesn’t work.
Title: Dead Meat
Genre: Thriller
Logline: Pig slaughterhouse employees fight to survive Christmas Eve after a disgruntled butcher seeks to avenge the death of his pet pig.
The holidays wouldn’t be complete without a juicy roast pig in Miami, a staple in the Magic City. SARINA (30s) runs a pig slaughterhouse in Miami with a tight-knit extended family of coworkers, including ELIO (50s), a deaf butcher who lives a simple life with his pet pig Guava. One day, Guava gets mixed up with the other pigs being prepped for slaughter and is killed. Elio confronts the workers responsible, leading him to seek revenge with the help of his questionable buddies KNOX and G.W.
On Christmas Eve, Sarina puts together a small Christmas party as a thank-you to all the crew. Sarina steps away to grab some food from the break room and finds a dead employee. The situation quickly spirals out of control when Knox and G.W. cut the power off from outside during the festivities.
The employees are trapped inside with no way out!
Sarina and the employees are forced to defend themselves against Elio and his accomplices. She takes charge, keeps everyone calm, and focuses on finding a way out. As the male employees arm themselves and hunt for Elio, the female employees work on finding a way out. They spread out. Sarina goes with CARLOS (30s) to the roof hatch on the other side of the building. The male employees struggle but continue to hunt for Elio.
One of the men gets hacked to death with a butcher knife.
Elio picks off the male workers one by one. Each kill he treats as if they were pigs being sent to the slaughter. As Elio hunts for the next victim, Sarina and Carlos hide in a freezer with all the pig carcasses. Carlos confesses to Sarina that he has been working undercover for an animal rights organization. Carlos then reveals he has a phone hidden near the pig feed. They go to it. Meanwhile, Knox searches for the main office and finds the safe.
It’s revealed Knox and G.W. have plans to steal the holiday earnings from the safe. $200,000!
Sarina and Carlos find the phone. Sarina calls 911, but the operator thinks it’s a crank call. Sarina pleads with the operator, but they do not believe her. Just then, Elio kills Carlos in front of Sarina. She takes off. Sarina gets to the roof hatch. She tries to unlatch and open it, but it won’t budge. It’s revealed that G.W. has placed a mound of cement blocks on top.
Serena slips from the roof hatch and is knocked unconscious in the fall.
Sarina wakes up woozy in her office. Knox and G.W. force arena to open the save containing the holiday sales cash. When she refuses, they use an electric prod until she submits. As they turn the dial, Serena attacks G.W. and manages to knock him unconscious, but Knox takes her hostage at gunpoint. Elio finds Knox and G.W. in the office with Sarina and learns they used him to get the cash in the safe. Elio turns on them both.
Elio barges in and slams G.W.’s head into the safe, and knocks him out. He grabs Knox and slams him against the desk. It’s a brawl. Elio is strong, but Knox is quicker. He zaps Elio. G.W. blinds Elio with hairspray. They rip the hearing unit on the back of his head. Elio can’t see or hear. He tries to swing in every direction but misses. G.W. and Knox beat Elio unconscious.
Knox uses the electric prod on Sarina. She refuses to give the combination. They use the prod again. Sarina is woozy. She relents and provides the combination. As they turn the dial, she launches herself at G.W. and slams him against the wall. In reach is the $200K in the open safe. Elio recovers, hits G.W.’s head into the safe, and knocks him out. He grabs Knox and slams him against the desk. It’s a brawl. Elio is strong, but Knox is quicker. Elio gains the upper hand and punches him. Knox is out cold.
The power turns back on. Inside the slaughterhouse, all the lights and machines turn on. The Christmas music from the party echoes throughout. It’s eerie with the blood and bodies around. Sarina grabs a cell phone from Knox’s pocket. She instantly calls her kids and tells them she’s coming home soon. She hangs up. Elio tells her he wants to turn himself in. She calls 911.
The police cuff and usher Elio into a wagon. A police car is too small for him. Sarina rinses her face in the restroom. She goes home, places the gifts under the tree, and checks on her kids, who are asleep with grandma. Sarina returns downstairs, pours a whisky, and takes sips as she watches the Christmas lights flash on the tree.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Rolando Vinas.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Rolando Vinas.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Rolando’s Synopsis for Producer Interview
Title: Dead Meat
Genre: Thriller
Logline: Pig slaughterhouse employees fight to survive Christmas Eve after a disgruntled butcher seeks to avenge the death of his pet pig.
Synopsis: No place in Miami is busier on Christmas Eve than a pig slaughterhouse. SARINA, the indispensable employee of a pig slaughterhouse is getting it from all sides. Christmas Eve orders are high. Not enough employees to work. PETA always trying to sneak in to catch footage. Being a single mom of two. It’s a struggle but she always finds a way.
As she prepares for the company Christmas party, she stops the bullying of one of the butchers from the other employees. The butcher is ELIO and he is massive in size and deaf-mute. The other workers tease him for this. The only two comforts he has is Sarina, who knows some sign language, and his pet pig, Guava. She’s a smart pig and is his best friend. But when Guava is accidentally mixed in with the other pigs sent to slaughter, this tears Elio apart. He comes to blows with the other workers and unleashes a rage he has never exhibited before. Sarina is forced to send him home and fire him.
The next day, it’s Christmas Eve. The final pig order is handed over to the customer. Sarina greets the employees at the party. Thanks them. There’s music. Drinks. Food. They are a tight-knit extended family. As they are all ready to leave to go be with their families, they notice all the doors are chained from the outside. The employees discover that Elio is picking them off one by one. Sarina tries to talk sense into Elio but it becomes a struggle to convince Elio not to kill the crew. He is even willing to kill Sarina for protecting them.
Ironically, one of the crew members is an undercover PETA spy. This eventually is revealed and becomes a way to get Elio to stop. Although police are called, they chalk it up to a false alarm. It’s revealed that Sarina’s ex-husband used to be abusive. She killed him and was found not guilty. However, her In-Laws have fought for custody as a form of revenge. This evening might give them ammunition to win them. She must fight to live and get to her kids.
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ROLANDO’S THRILLER WRITING PLAN
What I learned doing this assignment is the practicality of sending 10 pages to attract interest from a producer.
SET-UP: Zander is a baggage handler at the airport. He got locked inside the luggage compartment. Since then he has learned of the flight crew’s attempt to hijack the plane, drug the passengers, and turn them over to the cartel. At this point in the story, Zander has made attempts to thwart the flight crew’s plan. This is his final opportunity to take down Savage, the pilot, and leader of the hijacking.
INT. 1ST CLASS SECTION – CABIN
Savage is in the middle of briefing the crew. Everyone sweats profusely.
SAVAGE
Looks like we’re in the clear for now. Things are going to move mighty fast, so we need to stay alert…
SHEP
Can we do something about the AC? I can’t work like this.
SAVAGE
I’ll run a diagnostics to see what comes up.
SASHA
We should have stuck to the original plan. Now you’re putting all of us in danger.
SAVAGE
Do you doubt me?
SASHA
Maybe we should.
SAVAGE
I don’t mind keeping the money all to myself. You just gotta say the word. I can tie you all up and you tell the authorities this was all my doing. That is if that’s what everyone wants?
GABBY
She’s on board, Captain. We all are.
SAVAGE
I want to hear it from her.
(to Sasha)
Can you live with yourself knowing that you could have saved mommy, but you let your conscience get in the way?
SASHA
Don’t talk about my mother.
SAVAGE
Everyone clear on your roles?
CREW
Yes.
SAVAGE
Back to work.
The crew disperse.
SAVAGE
Sasha, a word?
Sasha follows Savage to the
COCKPIT
Savage closes the door. Pulls a 3-D printed gun from the bag from earlier.
SAVAGE
I need someone to watch my back. Because if something happens to me, it all comes tumbling down. Literally.
Savage hands the gun to Sasha. Pulls it away.
SAVAGE
Do you have my back?
SASHA
I just want to be done with all of this.
SAVAGE
I know I’ve been a real shit. But I need to know I can count on you. You’re the only person I trust right now.
Sasha takes the gun.
SASHA
You can count on me.–
GABBY
Captain!
Savage and Sasha rush out.
CABIN
Jock fights the wooziness as he uses the service trolley to shield himself from Gabby and Shep, who converge.
JOCK
Don’t get any closer! I mean it!
GABBY
Calm down.
JOCK
Don’t tell me to calm down.
Savage and Sasha show up.
SAVAGE
I got this.
Gabby and Shep pull back. Savage takes the reigns.
SAVAGE
What’s going on, kid. Talk to me.
JOCK
What’s going on? Everyone got drugged! Everyone’s wearing hoods, dude!
Savage inches closer.
SAVAGE
There’s a simple explanation for all of this.
JOCK
I said, stay back!
Jock grabs unopened soda cans and launches them at Savage. Savage dodges a couple. One hits him square on the mouth. Savage winces. Wipes the blood from his lip.
SAVAGE
I’m tired of playing nice.
Savage pushes on the cart and bum-rushes Jock. Savage leaps over and wrestles Jock to the floor. Savage pummels him. Jock is unconscious.
GABBY
Captain!
SAVAGE
What?
Gabby points. Six more male Spring Breakers are up and about. They’re angry. They’re ready to pounce.
SAVAGE
How the hell are they getting out?
Savage is able to hold his own. The Spring Breakers are no match for his military martial arts maneuvers.
Shep and Gabby cover the mouths and noses with cloths doused in the sedative. Passengers knock-out.
SAVAGE
Get this cleaned up.
Savage leaves.
Shep and Gabby drag passengers to vacant seats. They’re tied up and hooded.
INT. FBI BRIEFING ROOM – DAY
TV Monitors with the images of the crew.
FBI Assistant Director addresses the FBI Agent from earlier and other FBI personnel. Profiler pours over the flight manifest.
ASST DIRECTOR
How in the hell do we lose a bird that’s in the air without us getting as much as a whiff and leaving us holding are goddamned nuts?
FBI AGENT
Our cyber unit found that they infiltrated NAS.
ASST DIRECTOR
This flight crew has someone on board who may have compromised our entire aviation system?
DEPUTY ASSISTANT
Who’s taken control of the flight?
FBI AGENT
All signs point to Savage. The letter he left behind lists a series of grievances regarding the death of his wife and daughter and how it was covered up.
ASST DIRECTOR
This is all blow-back. What about the flight crew? Are they in on this? There’s no way he’s doing this alone.
FBI AGENT
Nothing stuck out to us. Captain Savage is the only one with the know-how to put something like this together.
ASST DIRECTOR
What do they want? I gotta give the White House something.
PROFILER
They would have put out a ransom by now. Something larger’s at play.
ASST DIRECTOR
Any ideas?
PROFILER
The median age for the passengers is 19 years old.
DEPUTY ASSISTANT
And?
PROFILER
They were heading to Cancun. Not far from there is Mancho Guajardo territory.
DEPUTY ASSISTANT
What are you saying?
PROFILER
Guajardo isn’t just any cartel guy. He has an appetite for dealing on the black market. Do you know how much you’re worth on the black market? I mean soup to nuts. Every inch of you. Organs, bones, skin, hair. All of it. We’re talking one million dollars per person on that plane.
ASST DIRECTOR
Are you suggesting that three hundred passengers are being turned over to the cartel?
PROFILER
I know it sounds crazy, but Savage might be crazy enough to do it. He’ll clear 200 million dollars. Easy.
ASST DIRECTOR
I don’t care what it takes… find that plane.
Assistant Director dials his phone.
ASST DIRECTOR
(into phone)
With the president. It’s urgent.
INT. CABIN – DAY
Shep places drops of sedative on the hood on one of the semi-conscious passengers. Notices the convection oven is on and counting down.
GALLEY
Shep enters.
ON OVEN
Through the pane, a cell phone spins as it heats.
ON SHEP
He peers closer.
SHEP
Gabby? Why’s there a phone in the oven?
ON OVEN
Cell phone sparks.
BOOM!
ON SHEP
The oven explodes in Shep’s face. Shards of glass and plastic get lodged in his eyes. He screams in writhing pain.
COCKPIT
Savage jolts up.
The screams are pronounced.
CABIN
Sasha and Gabby rush to Shep’s aid.
SHEP
Help me! Help!
GABBY
What the hell happened?
(to Sasha)
Grab the first aid kit.
Sasha runs to the galley.
One of the hooded passengers removes the hood. It’s Zander. He drugs Gabby with the blue liquid he swiped for himself. Punches Shep on the jaw. Zander drugs him, too.
LAVATORY
Zander shoves Shep and Gabby inside. Closes the door.
CABIN
Zander beelines toward the cockpit. He’s immediately met by Sasha. She has the first aid kit.
SASHA
What do you think you’re doing?
ZANDER
Doing the right thing.
SASHA
Don’t do this.
Zander rushes to the emergency door.
ZANDER
I guess we’re all going down.
Sasha aims the 3-D printed gun at Zander.
SASHA
Step away from the door.
ZANDER
Now’s our chance. We can stop this together.
Sasha tears up. Contemplates.—-
SASHA
I can’t let my mom die.
Savage’s voice comes over the PA system.
SAVAGE (V.O.)
Sasha, leave us.
SASHA
(to Xander)
I warned you.
Sasha goes to the galley.
Zander grips the emergency door handle tightly.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
You’re creating problems for us.
ZANDER
Guilty.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
That’s resourceful and actually pretty brave of you. You put yourself on the line to save the passengers. You would have made a good soldier. Like any good soldier, we kill when it’s necessary. How did you feel when you killed the Air Marshal?
ZANDER
That was self-defense.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
Because you wanted to survive, yes?
ZANDER
Of course.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
There’s someone back home you want to get back to.
ZANDER
Wouldn’t you?
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
I would… if I could. That’s no longer an option for me.
ZANDER
You can change your mind.
Zander grips the latch.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
So opening the emergency door is your plan? You’re willing to kill everyone on the plane for your own personal reasons? Isn’t that ironic?
ZANDER
At least you’d be stopped.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
Alright. Then stop me. Go ahead. Open the door.
ZANDER
I’ll do it.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
I know you will. And I’m giving you an opportunity to stop me, once and for all.
Zander grips the handle tightly.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
Do it…
Zander gets rattled.
SAVAGE
(overhead speakers)
You’re the hero of this story, aren’t you?
Zander closes his eyes, readies to pull the lever.
CLICK.
The lever doesn’t budge.
Savage laughs over the PA.
Zander tries to turn the handle with force. No movement. Embarrassed and defeated, Zander gives up.
SAVAGE
See, there’s this thing called physics. Their’s eight pounds per square inch pushing up against that door. Another exciting thing about pressure…
COCKPIT
The altitude gauge climbs up slowly.
10,000…12,000…
ON ZANDER
He gets slightly woozy. Tries to shake it off.
SAVAGE
Us humans are not meant to be up in the sky…
ON GAUGE
15,000…17,000
ON ZANDER
He stumbles. Tries to pick himself up but struggles. Blood drips from Zander’s nose.
SAVAGE
… and when we reach a high altitude, say twenty thousand feet, your blood loses oxygen…
Zander falls to the floor. Eyes roll to the back of his head.
SAVAGE
Your brain isn’t receiving enough oxygen right now. That’s why it’s time for you to go beddy-bye.
Zander‘s eyes close.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. COCKPIT – LATER
Zander wakes up in the co-pilot seat. His hands taped to the control wheel. Fear in his eyes at the sight of the sky.
Savage is in the pilot seat.
SAVAGE
Fear of flying? Relax. She’s on auto-pilot.
Savage casually chomps on peanuts. Shep enters, hands Savage a diet soda. Shep’s face is slightly singed. Gauze over one eye. He glares at Zander with his one good eye as he leaves. Zander winks back. Shep is incensed.
ZANDER
That was a nice trick back there. I bet you got more up your sleeve.
SAVAGE
Plenty, my friend. Enough about me. What do you do at the airport?
Savage mans the controls.
ZANDER
Baggage handler.
SAVAGE
Ah. Interesting. And you got trapped inside?
ZANDER
Yes.
Savage laughs at Zander’s expense. Zander laughs with Savage.
ZANDER
It is funny in a twisted way.
SAVAGE
Man, oh, man. Today is not your day. One thing’s for certain, your loss is definitely my gain. I’m sure we’ll get a bonus for you.
ZANDER
Like a gift card to Red Lobster?
SAVAGE
I hope you’ll have that sense of humor after they’re done with you.
ZANDER
They?
Savage readies to land the plane.
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ROLANDO’S KEY BUSINESS DECISIONS
What I learned doing this assignment is ‘The Arc’ being a business decision. I wouldn’t have considered that.
Genre: Thriller
Title: That Baggage Thief
Concept: A baggage handler gets trapped in the cargo hold of a plane being hijacked by the flight crew, and it’s up to him to save the passengers.
Audience: Male 25+ / Female 25+
Budget: $25M-$50M
Lead Characters Journey: Zander works as a baggage handler at an airport. He gets a tip that something valuable is in the cargo hold of a plane set to take off. He tries to steal it but gets trapped inside the cargo hold. The flight takes off. He learns that the flight crew has plans to take the passengers hostage and go to Mexico. Zander makes attempts to thwart the flight crew’s plans. The flight crew turn over the passengers to a notorious cartel for body parts and human trafficking. Zander fights to free the passengers. He manages to rescue them and get them back home safely.
Character Arc: Zander is a thief who thinks about himself and steals to provide for his family. His life being in jeopardy and the possibility of never seeing his son again forces him to value what he has. Zander learns that no amount of stealing can compensate for the love he has for his family.
Opening/Ending: Opens with an expensive item being stolen by Zander in the cargo hold of a plane. Ends with him returning to his family in time for his kid’s birthday party.
Decisions I could improve to make the script more marketable? I would say the logline and finding a way to bring the budget down.
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ROLANDO’S SPECIALTY – THRILLER
What I learned doing this assignment is how helpful the conventions list would be when using it to outline the film and bring the conventions to the forefront.
My specialty is Thriller.
Title: Misery
ACT 1
3:15 – Paul drives in the snow, which quickly becomes a blizzard. (Anticipation + Danger)
4:00 – Paul skids off the road. The car tumbles down a hill. (Physical danger)
5:51 – Paul is rescued by a stranger (Intrigue + Mystery)
13:00 – Annie confesses she’s his #1 fan and that she has been stalking him. (Intrigue)
17:45 – Annie loses her temper for the first time. (Danger + Tension)
21:35 – Annie drives past the Sheriff’s investigation of the accident scene. (Devious)
28:00 – Annie snaps when finding out that Paul’s latest ‘Misery’ novel has the main character dying at the end. She reveals no one know’s Paul is alive and that he isn’t going anywhere. (Danger + Devious + Unrelenting + Tension + Uncertainty)
ACT II
34:27 – Annie tries to convince Paul to burn his latest manuscript. (Unrelenting)
36:43 – Annie squirts lighter fluid onto Paul’s bed to coax him to burn the manuscript. (Devious)
37:15 – Annie reveals Paul’s habits to him regarding his ritual when he writes a manuscript. She knows everything about him. (Unwitting)
40:53 – Paul uses a fork to hide pills in the mattress (Resourceful)
43:30 – Paul spots a hairpin on the floor. (Resourceful)
45:30 – Paul suggests she buy different paper to type on and for Annie to go to the store to get it. (Resourceful)
45:45 – Annie snaps. (Dangerous)
49:41 – Annie is headed back home from the store while Paul is out of his room. (Tension)
50:04 – Paul accidentally knocks over a penguin figurine and places it back incorrectly. (Unwitting)
59:30 – Paul makes a small pouch from paper and pours the collection of pill powder into it. (Resourceful)
1:04:30 – Paul asks Annie to have dinner w/ him. (Resourceful)
1:08:30 – Paul laces Annie’s wine. (Resourceful)
1:12:00 – Annie is depressed (Uncertainty) – She pulls a revolver out (Tension + Danger)
1:14:00 – Paul sneaks out of his room. Takes a knife from the kitchen. (Resourceful + Anticipation)
1:15:30 – Paul finds Annie’s album w/ newspaper clippings of his presumed death. (Uncertainty + Unknowing)
1:15:45 – Paul discovers Annie has killed numerous people while working as a nurse, including babies. (Mystery solved + Covert Villain’s plan)
1:20:00 – Paul wakes up in the middle of the night and is drugged by Annie. (Unwitting) – He wakes up the next morning strapped down to the bed. (Danger + Anticipation +Tension + Surprise + Uncertainty)
1:21:07 – Paul reaches for the knife under the mattress, but Annie has it. (Unwitting) – Annie finds the hairpin. (Unrelenting)
1:22:20 – Annie places a log between Paul’s ankles, and pulls a jackhammer (Tensions + Anticipation + Devious + Suspense) – Annie smashes Paul’s feet.
ACT III
1:27:13 – Sheriff pulls up to Annie’s house. Annie drugs Paul and drags him to the cellar. (Anticipation + Uncertainty + Unrelenting)
1:33:06 – Sheriff hears a noise from inside the house, and goes back in. (Surprise + Anticipation)
1:33:30 – Sheriff finds Paul and gets shot by Annie from behind. (Dangerous + Unrelenting + Surprise)
1:34:17 – Annie reveals what she believes her purpose is…it’s murder by suicide. She readies to kill Paul and take her own life. (Dangerous + Anticipation) – Paul convinces her to hold off until he finishes the manuscript. (Resourceful)
1:37:00 – Paul pockets the lighter fluid as soon as she agrees and steps away.
1:38:00 – Annie prepares the ritual items – (1) unlit cigarette, (1) champagne glass, (1) bottle of Dom Perignon… and the revolver, which she pockets. (Danger + Anticipation)
1:38:50 – Paul tells Annie to get a 2nd glass for her to share in the experience (Resourceful)
1:39:00 – Paul douses the manuscript in lighter fluid and readies to burn it. (Anticipation)
1:39:15 – Paul holds the last page and burns it. Tosses it on the manuscript on the floor. (Resourceful) – Uses typewriter to conk her on the head with it. (Resourceful)
1:40:13 – Annie shoots Paul in the shoulder (Unrelenting + Suspense + Tension +Dangerous)
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Movie title #2 – NERVE – THRILLER
12:21 – Vee chooses to become a ‘Player’ in the Nerve game. (Unknowing)<u1:p></u1:p>
17:03 – Vee pulls off her first dare, to kiss a stranger in a diner. (Anticipation + Surprise + Unknowing)<u1:p></u1:p>
18:00 – It’s revealed Ian, too is playing the Nerve game. (Intrigue + Mystery + Surprise)<u1:p></u1:p>
19:45 – Dare comes in for both Vee and Ian to go to the city together. (Intrigue + Uncertainty)<u1:p></u1:p>
21:52 – Vee and Ian accept the dare. They get on his bike and drive off. (Anticipation + Unknowing)<u1:p></u1:p>
24:53 – Vee and Ian are set to part ways when she receives a dare to try on a dress in the store Ian entered. (Unknowing + Anticipation + Uncertainty)<u1:p></u1:p>
30:00 – Vee’s purse is stolen by another darer while she was modeling the dress with Ian. (Intrigue + Mystery + Devious Uncertainty)<u1:p></u1:p>
30:37 – Vee and Ian each receive a dare to leave the store with The expensive clothes they were asked to put on. (Tension + Uncertainty + Devious)<u1:p></u1:p>
31:11 – Vee finds a workaround with the rule. They leave the store naked instead of leaving with expensive clothes. (Resourceful + Surprise)<u1:p></u1:p>
35:50 – Vee and Ian get a dare to get a tattoo. (Uncertainty + Intrigue)<u1:p></u1:p>
39:04 – Tommy looks into Ian and can’t find any info on him. Seeks help from a fellow hacker. (Mystery)<u1:p></u1:p>
40:26 – Ian receives a dare to go to a location. (Mystery + Intrigue + Anticipation)<u1:p></u1:p>
41:20 – Tommy discovers Ian has played the game before and has won. Caused other player to die. (Surprise + Uncertainty + Intrigue)<u1:p></u1:p>
41:54 – Tommy receives a dare to drive his motorcycle 60 mph blindfolded. Vee turns it down at first. Ian tries to convince her (Unrelenting) – Another player shows up to take a picture of Vee (Mystery). There’s mention of getting to the Finals. (Intrigue + Devious) – Vee accepts (Unknowing)<u1:p></u1:p>
43:00 – Ian drives the motorcycle blindfolded while Vee guides him. (Suspense + Tension )<u1:p></u1:p>
48:09 – Sydney (Vee’s friend) and Ty (Another gamer) try to form an alliance to get back on the leaderboard. (Deceit + Unrelenting)<u1:p></u1:p>
54:00 – Sydney is dared to cross one building to another on a ladder. She bails. (Suspense + Tension + Uncertainty)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:00:00 – Vee receives a dare to finish Sydney’s dare. She accepts and succeeds. (Surprise)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:04:49 – Vee learns the truth about Ian and goes to a police officer for help. She gets called out as a snitch by the crowd. The game takes all the money from the bank account. (Unknowing + Anticipation + Unrelenting)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:06:02 – Ty corners Vee and knocks her out. (Surprise)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:06:40 – Vee wakes up in a storage container. A message from the game is given instructing her to play in the finals as the only way out of the game. Ian finds her and confesses him and Ty are prisoners of the game.<u1:p></u1:p>
1:10:00 – Vee creates a plan to end the game. (Resourceful)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:13:14 – Ian is dared to walk on a crane. He completes the dare. (Tension)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:20:16 – Vee and Ian come face-to-face in an arena, cheered on by game watchers. They each pull out revolvers to duel with. (Tension + Uncertainty) – Vee doesn’t go through with shooting Ian (Surprise) <u1:p></u1:p>
1:21:23 – The Nerve game is able to counteract what the hackers are doing. (Surprise + Unrelenting)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:23:00 – The game puts it to a vote on whether Ty should shoot Vee. (Tension + Suspense + Uncertainty) The crowd votes ‘Yes.’ (Tension + Surprise) Ty shoots and Vee goes down. (Tension + Uncertainty)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:25:00 – The hackers submit a message through the game. Each watcher who witnessed Vee get shot receives a message “You are an accessory to murder” and are asked if they want to sign out. (Surprise + Resourceful)<u1:p></u1:p>
1:26:49 – All viewers sign out, allowing the hackers to shut the game down once and for all. <u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p>
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ROLANDO’S PROJECTS AND INSIGHTS
The two projects I am bringing to the class are:<div>
‘The Baggage Thief‘ with an approximate budget of $15M – $20M.
and
‘The Only Fan‘ with an approximate budget of $1M – $5M.
<div>
</div>What I learned in the opening teleconference matches up with previous writing assignments I have been hired for, including the current writing assignment I have working on. However, the one item from the list that stuck out was writing treatments for the producer, which has never been my strength.
</div>
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Rolando’s Credibility is Going Up!
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of auditing your credibility to gauge where you stand.
2 or 3 steps I will take in the next 30 days to increase your credibility?
1) Increase my producer network.
2) Use more hashtags to get my screenwriting accomplishments to appear on the first page when I Googled.
CREDIBILITY CHECKLIST
1. Your Writing Sample
My writing sample has not received a “Recommend,” but it delivers on the genre in a strong way.
2. Screenwriting Accomplishments
I have performed writing assignments. My last assignment had a $1M budget and is currently in post-production. I am currently on a writing assignment that has the Producer/Director raising capital for it to be filmed this year.
3. The Google factor
Google your name. How many items on the first page show you as a professional screenwriter?
My IMDB appears at the top. There is also a link that appears for an interview I did for the feature film I produced.
4. Your Network
How many producers are in your network? How many Connections do you have who are connected to producers?<div>
I currently have 995 film producers in my network. I have approximately 700 connections who have connections to producers.
<div>
5. Education specific to screenwriting
Master Screenwriter Certificate program at ScreenwritingU
6. Borrowed Credibility
None at the moment.</div><div>
7. IMDB CREDITS
What credits show up there for you?
<hgroup>Known for</hgroup>
Producer/Writer(as Rolando Vinas) 2019
Writer(as Rolando Vinas) – Post Production
What Lies Beyond… The Beginning
Producer(as Rolando Vinas)2014
8. Other forms of credibility that are related to screenwriting:
None at the moment
* Possible things you can do to increase your credibility in the future?
As soon as ‘Stay Safe’ release date is set, I will reach out to producers in my network to promote the project and let them know I am available for writing assignments.
</div></div>
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ROLANDO’S LINKEDIN PROFILE IS AMAZING!
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of maintaining and updating your profile and not letting it sit unchanged for a long period of time.
* The instant improvement I made was adding projects to my page. I also contacted a director who I recently worked with on a project and requested an endorsement and recommendation. I also endorsed a couple of members of this class who I already connected with on LinkedIn.
* My plan for improving my credibility in the next 30 days via the LinkedIn profile is to add more producers to my network and to get more endorsements.
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I didn’t see a separate post in the forums for Assignment #1, so I am posting it here.
ROLANDO’S PROJECTS AND INSIGHTS
- The two projects I am bringing to the class are:
‘The Baggage Thief‘ with an approximate budget of $15M – $20M.
and
‘The Only Fan‘ with an approximate budget of $1M – $5M.
- What I learned in the opening teleconference matches up with previous writing assignments I have been hired for, including the current writing assignment I have working on. However, the one item from the list that stuck out was writing treatments for the producer, which has never been my strength.
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Hi everyone! 👋🏻
My name is Rolando. I’ve written a couple dozen feature scripts. I specialize in thrillers and horror. I hope to gain more knowledge and add more tools to my arsenal to help deliver the best experience possible to those who hire me. I have a horror feature in post production I was hired to write. Budget $1M. Waiting for the marketing to happen so I can use it to market myself to producers to get more writing assignments.
Something unique, special, strange or unusual about me? I’m 60% misanthrope.
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I, Rolando Vinas, agree to the terms of the agreement below.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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I’ve completed the 2nd pass of my outline. I need a new set of eyes on it but no other students have posted to exchange, yet. :^(
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I’m ready to exchange feedback
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Rolando’s Budget
What I learned doing this assignment is not very much considering I’ve produced and worked on productions enough to know how to keep costs down.
MAIN VARIABLES
Number of Locations – 1 for 95% of the story. 3 appearing in 4-6 scenes.
Expensive locations – None. 3 bedroom apartment. Office. Restaurant. House.
Number of characters – 3 main characters. 4 supporting.
Special effects – Some blood effects after a stabbing.
Number of pages – 90-100.
Crowd scenes – None
Stunts, Chase scenes, and Fight scenes – None.
Special sets – None
SECONDARY VARIABLES
Rights to music, brands, books, etc. – None
Explosions and Firearm – None
Kids — shorter workdays, tutor on the set – None
Animals – need a wrangler, more time to shoot, Humane Society – None
Weather — Rain, snow, wind, tornados. – None
Water and underwater scenes – None
Night scenes – Yes, but INT.
Helicopters, aircraft, drone shots – None
Green screen work – Graphics on the computer mostly. No major CGI.
Extensive Make-up – None.
Archival Footage – None.
Anything else dangerous that increases preparation time and/or Insurance.
2. Then go through the list and tell us what you might add if your budget was quadrupled.
Nothing because that amount should go to acquiring more recognizable talent.
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Rolando Writes Great Hope/Fear!
What I learned doing this assignment is that layering in the Hope/Fear shifts your focus toward really thinking through emotionally entertaining moments to mess with the Reader/Audience
Concept: A college graduate hard-up for cash starts an OnlyFans, only to attract the attention of a sadistic fan (DaddyLovesYou) who pays to have him perform sadistic acts for 12 hours that he can’t escape.
Main Conflict: Scott tries to get through the night to pay off his debts without provoking DaddyLovesYou to destroy Scott’s life.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Scott loses his internship job. Parents who co-signed his school loans are on the verge of losing their restaurant for non-payment. Scott is in dire straits.
HOPE: Scott lands a job interview.
FEAR: Scott isn’t hired.
FEAR: Scott gets subpoenaed for loan debt non-payment.
Inciting Incident: A co-worker convinces Scott to do OnlyFans to make money. He does and attracts a suitor by the name of DaddyLovesYou who we never see. Only hear his voice.
HOPE: Scott gets a $1,000 tip from Daddy.
FEAR: Scott performs acts on camera he is uncomfortable with.
Turning Point: Scott tries to back out from the proposal but is threatened by ‘Daddy’. All the sexual and sadistic acts performed on video will be released to all of Scott’s contacts and the internet if Scott does not comply.
Act 2:
New plan: Scott tries to get help from the landlady, the neighbor and tries to call the police. All shutdown.
HOPE: Scott shuts the computer down.
FEAR: Daddy calls Scott’s cell phone and threatens him to turn the computer back on or all the footage will be sent out.
HOPE: His roommates, Jay and Lulu prematurely come back from their trip. Scott thinks they might be able to help but Daddy wants them to join in the fun and offers them money to do so.
FEAR: Scott reluctantly asks them to join for a large sum of money. Jay and Lulu are reluctant but agree to do so.
Plan in action: Scott tries to strategize with Jay and Lulu on how to stop ‘Daddy’.
HOPE:
FEAR: Their plan is thwarted by Daddy by pitting Lulu against the other for a large sum of money.
FEAR: Daddy commands Lulu to stab Scott with a kitchen knife.
Midpoint Turning Point
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Lulu is regretful of her actions. Scott tries to get the roomies on the same page to figure a way out of this situation. Jay tries to escape but find that all the door has been electrified by Daddy.
HOPE: The timer is counting down.
FEAR: Daddy instructs Scott and Jay to perform an act. Jay is too uncomfortable and runs to his room.
HOPE: Scott talks to Jay and learns what the issue really is. Jay confesses certain feelings he has toward Scott. Scott is flattered but feels bad that Jay is being put in this situation. Feels guilty.
New plan: Scott decides to stand up to Daddy.
HOPE: Tells him he doesn’t care about the money or if he sends all the footage out.
FEAR: Daddy pulls up all incriminating footage and makes a call to the police and starts telling the officer about the truth. Scott begs Daddy to hang up.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Daddy offers Lulu and Jay $50k each to subdue to tie up Scott.
Act 4:
Final plan: Scott tries to reason with Jay and Lulu but the money they’re being paid would free them of their debts and change their lives.
FEAR: Jay and Lulu drag a bound Scott to the tub and fill it so they can drown him.
HOPE: Lulu stops for a moment. Reconsiders. Jay debates with her while Scott waits.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Scott fights and manages to wriggle out of the tub.
HOPE: Scott escapes. All are drenched in water. Scott runs to the apartment door and times it so he grabs the doorknob just as Jay and Lulu grab him.
FEAR: They all get electrocuted and blackout.
Resolution: Scott wakes up woozy. 15 minutes until the 12-hour timer ends. Finds Jay and Lulu still unconscious. Scott receives instructions from Daddy. $1M to kill Jay and Lulu, all traces of evidence, and all recordings deleted, or everything gets released and he gets zero.
Months later…
HOPE: Scott is at the restaurant helping his family. Jay and Lulu pass by for lunch. That evening, Scott turns on the lights. Laptop. He has 20k subscribers on OnlyFans. His account shows he’s making $300K a month.
FEAR: A message from DaddyLovesYou pops up: “Need more sugar?” Scott blocks Daddy.
FEAR: On Daddy’s end, it’s revealed that Daddy is lines of code. It’s an Ai. The figure of a mysterious programmer closes the computer and shuts the lights off.
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ROLANDO’S 4 ACT STRUCTURE
What I learned doing this assignment is a couple of new ways of looking at the mid-point turn from the suggestions in the assignment.
1. Tell us the following:
Concept: A college graduate hard-up for cash starts an OnlyFans, only to attract the attention of a sadistic fan (DaddyLovesYou) who pays to have him perform sadistic acts for 12 hours that he can’t escape.
Main Conflict: Scott tries to get through the night to pay off his debts without provoking DaddyLovesYou to destroy Scott’s life.
2. Fill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Scott loses his internship job. Parents who co-signed his school loans are on the verge of losing their restaurant for non-payment. Scott is in dire straits.
Inciting Incident: A co-worker convinces Scott to do OnlyFans to make money. He does and attracts a suitor by the name of DaddyLovesYou who we never see. Only hear his voice.
Turning Point: Scott tries to back out from the proposal but is threatened by ‘Daddy’. All the sexual and sadistic acts performed on video will be released to all of Scott’s contacts and the internet if Scott does not comply.
Act 2:
New plan: Scott tries to get help from the landlady, the neighbor and tries to call the police. All shutdown. His roommates, Jay and Lulu prematurely come back from their trip. Scott thinks they might be able to help but Daddy wants them to join in the fun. Scott reluctantly asks them to join for a large sum of money.
Plan in action: Scott tries to strategize with Jay and Lulu on how to stop ‘Daddy’ but is thwarted by Daddy by pitting Lulu against the other for a large sum of money. Commands her to stab Scott with a kitchen knife.
Midpoint Turning Point
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Lulu is regretful of her actions. Scott tries to get the roomies on the same page to figure a way out of this situation. Jay tries to escape but find that all the door has been electrified by Daddy.
New plan: Scott decides to stand up to Daddy. Tells him he doesn’t care about the money or if he sends all the footage out.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Daddy threatens to send the footage of Lulu stabbing Scott to the police and recordings of Jay saying controversial things that could get him canceled. Daddy offers Lulu and Jay $50k each to subdue to tie up Scott.
Act 4:
Final plan: Scott tries to reason with Jay and Lulu but the money they’re being paid would free them of their debts and change their lives. Jay and Lulu drag a bound Scott to the tub and fill it so they can drown him.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Scott fights and manages to wriggle out of the tub and escape. All are drenched in water. Scott runs to the apartment door and times it so he grabs the doorknob just as Jay and Lulu grab him. They all get electrocuted and black out.
Resolution: Scott wakes up woozy. 15 minutes until the 12-hour timer ends. Finds Jay and Lulu still unconscious. Scott receives instructions from Daddy. $1M to kill Jay and Lulu, all traces of evidence, and all recordings deleted, or everything gets released and he gets zero.
Months later…
Scott is at the restaurant helping his family. Jay and Lulu pass by for lunch. That evening, Scott turns on the lights. Laptop. He has 20k subscribers on OnlyFans. His account shows he’s making $300K a month.
A message from DaddyLovesYou pops up: “Need more sugar?” Scott blocks Daddy.
On Daddy’s end, it’s revealed that Daddy is lines of code. It’s an Ai. The figure of a mysterious programmer closes the computer and shuts the lights off.
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Rolando’s Delivering Multiple Layers!
What I learned doing this assignment is that it got me to think about elements of the story in a different way. Most of what I brainstormed is not workable, but a couple of them did spark some ideas.
1. Brainstorm potential plot layers.
Major scheme revealed: Jay and Lulu befriended Scott as a ruse to use Scott to get a reward.
Mystery revealed: The entire exercise was a covert job interview.
Thought it was one thing, but it is another: What turns out tame and sexual becomes sadistic.
Major shift in Meaning: What starts as sex online videos for pay shifts to a lesson on the power debt has over us.
Hidden history: Each numbered box that is opened is a clue to the origins of this twisted scenario.
Hidden plan: This is Lulu’s film project that she is filming.
2. Brainstorm potential character layers.
Secret identity: Daddy isn’t real. It’s an Ai.
Intrigue layers: Each roommate reveals their ability to be unscrupulous when money is involved.
Hidden relationships and conspiracies: Daddy is one of Scott’s internship co-workers.
Hidden Character history: Jay made up his story about his parents and what his childhood was like. He was really an orphan.
3. Brainstorm potential location layers.
Hidden operation: The roommates are all sedated. They wake up in the same apartment. Only it’s a precisely designed set to mimick their apartment.
Deeper meaning: The apartment is a representation of each roomies financial situation.
Trap to draw prey: Scott, Jay, and Lulu are Daddy’s prey.
Unique sub-world: The fake apartment is on a soundstage.
4. Tell us about the layers you’ve chosen. Use this format with each of them:
Surface Layer: Scott turns to OnlyFans as a means to make money.
Beneath That: Scott’s only fan, Daddy, lures Scott into performing sexual acts that turn sadistic acts with large sums of money.
How Revealed: When Daddy pays one of the roommates to physically hurt the other for money.
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Rolando’s Character Journeys!
What I learned doing this assignment is that by doing this process I was able to better flesh out the trajectory of each individual character but have them make decisions that affect the story and the other characters.
SCOTT
Beginning: Gets fired from his internship. Needs money ASAP to get loans paid that are past due. Decides
to do OnlyFans for money.
Turning Point: After accepting a generous offer from Daddy, Scott soon realizes that Daddy’s intentions are far more sinister.
Midpoint: Scott quits the game, risking losing all the money he earned but pits one roommate against him, compelling her to stab Scott.
Turning Point 2: Scott is held against his will by Jay and Lulu for the money.
Dilemma: Escape with his life and lose the money or try to save his friends from an inauspicious outcome.
3rd Act Climax: He stands up to Daddy. Tells him he doesn’t care what’s posted. Doesn’t want the money anymore. Daddy sends all videos and pictures to all Scott’s friends, family, and for
the world to see.
Ending: Scott wakes up the next day as an internet porn star, raking in all the money he needed through his OnlyFans account through his subscriptions.
JAY
Beginning: Parents found out where Jay lives and try to get money from him. He wants to change his identity and move away from them.
Turning Point: Jay learns about Daddy’s offer and decides to join in.
Midpoint: Jay’s friendship with Scott is put to the limit when Daddy instructs Jay to perform and sex act on Scott that is too personal and can’t go through with it.
Turning Point 2: Jay joins forces with Lulu to prevent Scott from losing the money for both of them.
Dilemma: Does Jay go against his feelings for Scott or forgo the money to salvage what is left of the friendship?
3rd Act Climax: Jay sacrifices himself due to the shame of how he has let his greed hurt his best friends.
Ending: Jay kills himself.
LULU
Beginning: Loses out in getting yet another grant for her film project. Is always criticized by her mother for becoming a filmmaker instead of a doctor.
Turning Point: Takes Daddy’s offer to make money.
Midpoint: Stabs Scott for money.
Turning Point 2: Joins forces with Jay to hold Scott against his will to prevent any other issues with getting the money.
Dilemma: Go for the money or risk having the stabbing video sent to the police?
3rd Act Climax: Lulu tries to convince the roomies that they should all take their medicine and let everything come out. To not let Daddy have this amount of power over them.
Ending: With Jay dead, Lulu is killed by Scott for the money.
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Rolando’s Character Depth
What I learned doing this assignment is that I may have discovered a couple of usable nuggets with my characters but am not entirely satisfied with what I have, yet.
SCOTT
Motivation: To pay back his school loans to prevent the bank from taking his parents’ restaurant.
Secret: He’s ashamed of letting anyone know what he’s doing to make money and pay the rent.
Wound: Ashamed of his body brought on by a conservative upbringing.
Subtext: Hides the stress of mounting financial pressures
Conflict: Preventing his relationship with his roomies from disintegrating.
Hidden Agenda: To put a stop to Daddy before things get out of hand.
Dilemma: Doing internet porn to pay back the loan or not doing it and destroying his parents’ credit and losing family business.
JAY
Motivation: To make enough money to get to Alaska to start his own wilderness online show.
Secret: Has always had a crush on Scott, which he has never acted on for the sake of the friendship.
Wound: Was neglected as a child, parents were never around.
Subtext: Performs outlandish stunts to get attention, which he later regrets.
Conflict: Being forced to perform sex acts with his friend.
Dilemma: Go for the money and betray his friends or let his friends get the money and have his brand ruined.
LULU
Motivation: To get money to finally film the passion project that will get her noticed.
Wound: Never living up to her parents’ standards and coming in 2nd to her younger sister.
Subtext: She conceals her true feelings by using humor but her pain comes out when she’s upset.
Conspiracy: Joins forces with one roomie to bring down the other.
Intrigue: Gets offered money to stab Scott and does so.
Dilemma: Betray a friend for a large sum of money or risk not getting any money and having
to go back to live with her family.
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Rolando’s Right Characters!
What I learned doing this assignment is building your characters around the hook helps to keep that focus and make sure they serve the concept and the story.
1 – Think about your Concept Hook and Contained Setting.
HOOK: Clearing your debt come at a price.
CONTAINED SETTING: 3 bedroom apartment, possibly penthouse.
2 – With each of your main characters, how can they uniquely fit with the Hook?
Scott (20s) took out school loans, co-signed by his parents, and have come due. Job prospects are not good. Just internships. Parents may lose the family restaurant.
Jay (20s) dreams of moving to Alaska to start a new life to get away from his abusive family but needs the money to do it. For now, he performs eccentric stunts and dares on social media for cash.
Lulu (20s) wants so badly to see her film career move forward. She’s not seeing opportunities as her male counterparts since graduating and feels she needs to jump head-first into her passion project to get noticed. She just needs the money.
3 – Thinking about the conflict that hook creates, how does each main character enhance or cause that conflict?
In desperate need of money, Scott decides to start an OnlyFans account. He catches the attention of the account, “DaddyLovesYou.” Scott is enticed to perform acts for money. He then invites his roommates to take part, which exposes their vulnerabilities and tests the strength of their friendship.
4 – Tell us what makes these characters the “right ones” for this story?
These characters embody Generation Z and their struggles and fears when it comes to work, money, and prospects. Worries about their future as well as an epidemic of wanting notoriety and having overnight success.
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<div>ROLANDO’S GREAT HOOK</div>
A. How did this process work for you? Although I did brainstorm different components, many did not work within the confines of the pitch I made to the producer. However, it did get me thinking about other aspects of my overall idea that I can play with as I continue to flesh out my concept and idea.
B. What did you learn doing this assignment? Thinking in terms of asking the high concept question is like a North Star of sorts. Puts things into perspective.
ASSIGNMENT
A. Intriguing Contained Setting: 3 bedroom apartment or Penthouse of a tall building (Not sure, yet)
B. Unique Device: Make money by performing sadistic and sexual acts online for 12 hours. Sunset to Sunrise. 10k per hour.
C. Unique Monster/Villain: A person or an Ai? The villain isn’t revealed until the very end.
D. Mystery: Who is “DaddyLovesYou,” the mystery fan account?
E. Impossible goal/Unsolvable problem: Will they get the money to get out of debt? Will they kill each other for the other’s money? Will they compromise morality and reputation for money?
F. Unique layers: Feeling one has for the other. Friendships tested. Sexual taboos pushed to the limits.
2. Ask the High Concept Question.
Having to do with __Being a Slave to Debt__, what haven’t we seen before?
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I, ROLANDO VINAS, agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hi everyone!
My name is Rolando. I’m written 23 feature scripts. My last two were through the ProSeries and the Master Writer programs. Last year I was hired to write a feature for a producer and I pitched a contained concept to the same producer that she loved. That concept is the one I will be developing in this class. As for unusual, I used to be close friends with a ghost that roamed around the projection booth of the movie theater I managed for 16 years. His name was Steven.
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Rolando’s Assignment 1
What I learned doing this assignment, and as a Covid Compliance Officer for productions, the smaller the cast and crew, the quicker things move. The quicker things move, the more money you save. In addition, one thing not mentioned in the list is the amount of cost that Covid protocols is hitting productions budgets. Supplies, testing, Covid Officers. These are all additional costs that force a producer to them find savings elsewhere.
TITLE: Halloween Kills
AS THEY DID IT:
A. People: Large cast.
B. Stunts: Kill scenes in houses.
C. Extras: A lot of extras during hospital/mob scene and at bar.
D. Wardrobe: The entire movie takes place in a single night. Lord of wardrobe for cast and extras. Halloween costumes.
E. Hair and Make Up: Lots of hair and makeup due to cast and Halloween
F. Kids and Animals: Yes. A couple, but in short scenes.
G. Quarantine: Yes. Large cast and crew.
COVID GUIDELINE VERSION:
A. People: Replace hospital mob scenes with just hospital room scenes. Remove bar scenes.
B. Stunts: Fire stunt scene acceptable. Killings are contained. Stays.
C. Extras: Remove mob scene and bar scenes.
D. Wardrobe: Stays
E. Hair and Make Up: Stays
F. Kids and Animals: Stays
G. Quarantine: Less cast so less individuals quarantining.
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RENEE’S PRODUCER INTERVIEW EXPERIENCE
1. Get clarity on big-picture items
Genre? Psychological Horror
Ideas on titles? None yet.
What is the concept? A woman who awakens from a coma with no memory must find her memories to learn the truth about the man who claims to be her husband before her life is in peril.
Who is the hero? Lorena
Their character arc? Start – Compliant and Unsure… Middle – Regain memories and find strength… End – Be independent and fight back.
Who is the villain? Fake Husband who has replaced the real husband. Real husband is a tech mogul. Home security industry.
What is their story? Not clear on motives.
What are you thinking for budget? $1M – $5M
What audience might work for this story? Female 25+ / Male 25+
2. Get clarity on lead characters
Can you tell me about (lead character)? (As they do, fill in profile.) Attack leads her to get into a coma. No kids. Puppies are her kids. Went to school but isn’t using her degrees. Enjoying husband’s money. She can have kids. Real husband didn’t want kids. Dilemma before the coma.
What is important to you about (lead character)? She fears being alone.
What is this character’s motivation — need/goal — in this story? She needs to learn to kill all she knows to find the strength to be alone.
(Any other questions to fill in the profile.)
3. Get clarity on the story
Can you talk with me about the journey of this story? Lorena has settled in life. She’s not 100% with it. She’s too self-reliant. Needs to break away from him.
How do you see the structure? Plot? 4 ACT turning point. 2nd ACT feels something is off. Turning point. A fight. He lashes out. Third Act explores the mansion. Ends with trying to get off the island.
Is there a message you want the story to deliver? Don’t have to.
Are there any other major things you want to accomplish? Not at the moment.
Anything else you need in the treatment to increase the chance of getting the movie made? No, I don’t think so. Limited location, limited cast. The protagonist needs a bigger journey. Stronger.
4. Confirm what is most important
Of all that we’ve talked about today, what is most important to you? Right now, nothing.
Are there any parts that we’ve discussed that you absolutely don’t want changed? Not married to any of the ideas.
Have memories that trigger flashes of memories.
COMPARABLE FILMS TO RESEARCH:
1. “Before I Go to Sleep” (2014) – Starring Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth, and Mark Strong, this thriller follows a woman named Christine who suffers from amnesia and wakes up every day with no memory of the previous day. As she tries to piece together her past, she discovers that her husband may not be who he seems.
2. “Unknown” (2011) – This action-thriller stars Liam Neeson and Diane Kruger, but it’s Kruger’s character who fits your description. She plays a woman named Gina who wakes up from a coma with no memory of her past life. As she tries to uncover the truth about herself, she discovers that her husband is not who he seems and that she is in grave danger.
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Hi Renee! I’d be happy to pair with you. I love horror and it’s a secondary genre I write in. Free today?
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Hi George!
Since we both specialize in Thrillers I thought I’d give you feedback on yours. If you don’t mind, kindly reciprocate.
- I love Lincoln, as do many other people. I like the buildup to the attack. My main note is that I felt the introduction of each of the characters was a bit distracting since it was quite a few. Consider removing their ages and just mention names and gangs. For example –
EXT. FARM HOUSE – DAY<div>
<div>
JACK of the Butt Enders works…
It creates more white space, which you do so well with, and is easier to read.
Possible Interest Techniques to Consider
- Maybe have Mary say to Lincoln, “My stomach churns every time you do one of these speeches.” (Anticipatory Dialogue)
- Maybe have Lincoln talk about the next stop on the tour? (Creating a Future)
- Mary Todd Lincoln was known for being a difficult woman. Always ill. Short tempered. Consider having her snap at someone trying to assist her. (Uncomfortable Moment)
- Maybe having Lincoln crawl away after being attacked. Just when we think he might make it out, one of the killers grabs hold of him. (Hope vs Fear)
I hope this helps to elevate your writing sample. Cheers!
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Great, Renee! Ditto! We can exchange scripts and give feedback.
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What’s your email? Mine is rolandovinas@live.com