[Ron Horton]

I’m a bit frustrated. Without instructor involvement in my answers I have no idea if I’m even close. My pitch feels good to me, but after using it I feel it needs more depth. This is the kind of input I could really use from my instructor.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s Marketing Campaign for Charley’s River

Campaign #1 is started. I’m in the BAFF today and tomorrow, and have been making contacts, and promoting my project. I have also received coverage feedback on my script. It was very positive and I’ve been able to up the level by quite a bit.

I’ll be seeking a manager/mentor. They aren’t able to sell my script in California, but the sure can recommend it, while doing all they can to help me up my game.

My network is being built.

I’ll be sending my logline and short pitch to producers who are open to receiving them.

The various campaigns all point to Great Writing. I’m doing all I can to improve my scripts in all areas. I won’t be satisfied with pretty damned good. I want Wow. And I’m also looking for whatever writing gigs I can find.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s 2nd draft of Query Letter, for “Charley’s River.”

What I’ve learned is that I need to continue to cut where I can to make my query a quick read. I’m not sure I’m really comfortable with the critquing part of this lesson. I feel it’s akin to being in a Trig class and and having the instructor tell us you’re on your own. I’m going for coffee. Figure it out. My cratique could be way off base.

Dear ……….;

Bio: Ron Horton studied screenwriting at Mount Hood College. His first screenplay made the quarter finals of Scriptapalooza. He is an outdoorsman who has real life experience with white water rafting.

Charley’s River is a Drama/Adventure based loosly on the life of Charley Havenrich.

Charley may have only one chance at love. Diving into a class 5 river rapid was not what he bargained for. It will either seal the deal, or cost him everything.

Charley Fox, a financial genius, is stuck in his rat race, 7-figure Chicago job. His only escape is through daydreams of White-Water Rafting on the Colorado River.

The women he wants to be with, Susan, isn’t available, having Jack, a very big boyfriend, who has a badge, a gun… and a temper. To fill the loneliness, Charley is seduced by Marla, a woman scorned, with an axe to grind from 15 years ago. Charley’s going to prison if she has her way.

Charley’s “fixer,” Felicity Heart goes to work, and Marla more than meets her match.

During Felicity’s takedown, Charley goes to the Colorado, and works with his former white water rafting buddy. Susan and Jack show up as river guests. Charley has to save Jack from the river. This life-threatening event turns Susan to Charley, and they become serious.

On their honeymoon river trip, Charley ends up out of the raft, and he’s sucked to the bottom. Susan goes after him.

They end up on the beach, exhausted, un-scathed, and dry. It’s not until they see their bodies hauled out of the river, do they realize they are now forever, river ghosts.

If you’d like to see more, my script is ready to send.

Sincerely,

Ron Horton
ronhorton21@msn.com

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s target market for “Charley’s River”

“Charley’s River” – Action/Adventure – Charley wants the life on the river, with the lady of his dreams. But, diving into a class 5 rapid on the Colorado river is more than he bargained for.

I learned that I like the process, although I feel it will take some time to compile a list that I fee comfortable with. Finding movies that I felt had things in common with my script proved difficult.

5 Movies that are similar, or could be construed to have a theme similar to mine:

River Wild
White Mile
Dog
Lost City
River Runs Through It
(A couple of these would be a stretch)

Finding actors I feel would fill the parts well was much easier.

Charley
Brad Pitt
Ryan Goslin
Zac Efron
Dave Franco
Scott Eastwood
Charlie Carver

Ted
Liam Hemsworth
Luke Bracey

Susan
Crystl Faye Horton
Kate Mara
Olivia Wilde
Blake Lively
Alicia Vikander
Felicity Jones

Marla
Vanessa Hudgrens

Felicity
Halley Berry
Isley Nicole Melton
Sanaa Lathan

I found well over 50 producers, although I’m not sure I was searching exactly correctly. I’d really have to hone this more to feel good about it.

[Ron Horton]

Title: Ron Horton’s Phone Pitch for “Charley’s River”

I guess what I learned most is I have to give into phone pitches. I do much better face to face. Now I have to figure a way to see phone pitches in the same way.

1: Lead with experience, and then high concept. I’ll closely follow this by asking permission to give them the concept.

Hi, I’m Ron Horton. I’m a screenwriter, and former white-water rafter. My latest script is an Action/Adventure, Charley’s River, “featuring the highly challenging Colorado River. In 30 seconds, I can give you the concept. Would that be okay?

It’s about a daydreaming, Chicago financial genius, who, because of a woman scorned, ends up as a white-water rafting guide. The only way to realize his perfect life, with the women of his dreams, is to find it after their deaths.

2. Budget:
a. It’s a mid-range movie budget, between 20 and 40 million. The 1st and 2nd acts are shot in Chicago, the 3rd, on the Colorado River, with some scenes shot in a production tank.

b. Main Roles:
Charley: Because I hear he loves white-water rafting, Brad Pitt
Susan: A new face, a graduate of Mullenberg College of Acting with a 4.0, Crystl Faye Horton.
Jack: The gruff, cop, boyfriend, Jeremy Holm of “The Ranger.” He’s also a friend.

c. 113 pages

d. Based on the film River Wild, and your affiliation with Brad Pitt, I can see this might just be a good fit. You were 1st on my list.

e. At one point Charley is forced to make a decision. Should he let the boyfriend drown, or does he keep true to himself and jump into the class 5 rapid to save him. He saves him.

This one act draws Susan to him and they begin their courtship on the river. Six weeks later they are married.

On their honeymoon rafting trip, followed by their friends and film crew, there is a tremor in the canyon that starts a landslide. A boulder hits Charley and sends him to the bottom of the river. Susan goes in after him and knocks him free from the eddy.

They end up on the beach, amazed they got out of that in one piece. But they are quickly confused since they are no longer bleeding from the rocks and they are dry. When they row over to their friends, they have their answers. Their bodies are lying in the other raft.

They float away. Their three good friends are the only ones in the crew who can see them as they enter the next rapids.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s Pitch Fest Pitch, for “Charley’s River”

What I learned is? It keeps getting hammered in, and I keep retaining it, that less is more. I love this approach as I’ve tended to be scrambled at pitch fests. I also learned that reading the screenplay backwards is invaluable!!! I found so many things that needed to be fixed or tweaked. (This tidbit came from another webinar I believe.😊 )

Pitch:

Hi, I’m Ron Horton, an outdoor adventurer and former white-water rafter. My 1st Action/Adventure script made the quarter finals in Scriptapalooza.

Today I have another Action/Adventure script, “Charley’s River.”

It’s loosely based on the life of Charley Heavenrich, who left the world of finance to become a river guide.
Hook:

My Charley wants the life on the river, with the lady of his dreams. But, diving into a class 5 rapid on the Colorado river is more than he bargained for.

PAUSE: (More details if they ask.)

Charley Fox is a young, filthy-rich, financial genius, who’s miserable. He constantly daydreams about the life he left behind.

When he’s framed for insider trading, he has to leave Chicago, while this problem is Handled. He ends up a guide, white water rafting on the Colorado River.

Susan, the love interest he thought was unavailable, shows up, with her “boyfriend,” Jack. Charley faces a choice of letting Jack drown, or risk everything to save him. To the horror of everyone, Charley jumps into the class 5 rapid.

With Jack headed back to Chicago, Charley and Susan become very close, and they’re married, at the river’s edge, just six weeks later.

On the honeymoon trip Charley is sucked to the bottom in an eddy. Susan now has to be the lifeguard, and jumps into the rapid. They end up on the beach together, not believing their luck. That’s short lived however, as are their lives. They see their bodies being pulled from the river by their friends.

Their journey is just beginning.

PAUSE FOR QUESTIONS:

A. What is the budget range?

I’d put this high end of the mid-range, around $30 to $50 million, depending on cast.

B. What actors do you like for the lead roles?

Based on the fact that he loves white-water rafting, my 1st pick for Charley would be Brad Pitt. Susan – a new face, a Mullenberg Acting College grad, Crystl Faye Horton. Jeremy Holm, (the Ranger,) a friend, would play Jack very well.

C. Give me the acts of the story.

Act 1: Charley works his magic in the world of finance, while daydreaming of the life he left back in his college years. We meet his dad, Bill Fox who is cantankerous but very wise; Beth Young, his fun-loving secretary; and Susan and Jack. We also meet Marla, the woman scorned, and her drunken sidekick in crime, Lenny Harmond.

Act 2: Charley gets seduced by Marla, who sets Charley up to face insider trading charges. We meet Phil Talman, Charley’s lawyer, and Felicity Heart, Phil’s beautiful, crafty, former partner, with a sorted past that makes her very useful in taking down Marla.

Act 3: The river action is abundant. We meet Charley’s Australian frat bro, Ted Strong, who owns the rafting company. We also meet the river crew.
Charley and Susan end up together, in life for a short time, and in death, forever.

D. How does it end? (setup / payoff).

An earthquake sends boulders crashing down on the two rafts, one with Charley and Susan, the other with Ted and his full crew.

Charley pushes Susan out of the way of a boulder headed toward her. He takes the hit and ends up thrown into the feared eddy. He’s sucked to the bottom.

Susan reenacts the moves that Charley made to save Jack. She jumps in to the class 6+ rapid.

They end up on the beach trying to figure out how they got out of that mess, and why they are both dry and not bleeding anymore. They row over to the other side where Ted is tied to the bank.

Ted grabs a safety line and jumps to the other raft, but, at that moment, Charley and Susan see their bodies lying in Ted’s raft.

As the rafts part, Charley tells Ted, “Not this trip Mate,” and he lets the safety line around Ted’s arm pull him back into the water.

Ted, Marcus and Red, the three closest friends, watch Charley and Susan head toward the rapids. The rest of the crew only sees an empty raft.

E. Credibility questions What have you done?

I studied screenwriting at Mount Hood College, and attended many Willamette Writer’s Conferences. My 1st screenplay hit the quarters in Scriptapalooza. White Water rafting has been one of my loves, both on rivers and in the ocean surf of Hawaii.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s Query Letter for “Charley’s River”

Dear ……….;

Bio: Ron Horton studied screenwriting at Mount Hood College. His first screenplay made the quarter finals of Scriptapalooza. He is an outdoorsman who has real life experience with white water rafting.

Charley may have only one chance at love. Diving into a class 5 river rapid was not what he bargained for, but could it ends up sealing the deal.

Charley Fox daydreams of leaving his 7-figure job in Chicago, to return to White Water Rafting on the Colorado River.

His new found love, Susan, isn’t available, having a very big boyfriend, Jack, who has a gun and a badge… and a temper. To fill the gap Charley is seduced by Marla, who turns out to have an axe to grind and wants him in jail.

Charley’s “fixer,” Felicity Heart goes to work, and Marla more than meets her match.

During Felicity’s fixing, Charley goes to the Colorado, and works with his former white water rafting buddy. Susan and Jack show up as river guests. Charley has to save Jack from the river. This life-threatening event turns Susan to Charley, and they become involved.

Six weeks later they are married. On their honeymoon river trip, Charley ends up out of the raft and sucked to the bottom. Pulling from her training, Susan jumps in to save him.

They end up on the beach, exhausted, un-scathed, and dry. It’s not until they see their bodies hauled out of the river by their friends on the other side, do they realize they are forever now, river ghosts.

If you’d like to see more, my script is ready to send.

Sincerely,

Ron Horton
2924 N. Jay Rd.
Jay, VT 05859
ronhorton21@msn.com
802 988-4661 Land
802 309-7149 Cell

I learned that brief is better. I found I can say a lot with fewer words.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s Synopsis Hooks, for “Charley’s River”

“What I learned doing this assignment is that concise writing makes the best synopsis. I use the KISS method in so many areas of my life. It only makes sense to have it here as well.

Logline: What will Charlie have to give up in order to live the life he dreams of, with that special love? Could it be, life itself?

Charley Fox is a young, multi-millionaire who is miserable in the rat race of finance. His only escape is through his high energy daydreams. Soaring high over the city on a hang glider; rappelling down the side of high-rise buildings; rafting in 15-foot waves on the Colorado River. Where will these dreams lead?

(Hook- Charley escapes reality through his daydreams)

After finding Susan, who makes him weak in the knees, Charley finds out she isn’t available. So, he lets himself get seduced by a business associate, Marla. It turns out Marla has an old axe to grind, and she trumps up a scandal that will put Charley in prison for a long time if he can’t wiggle free of her scheme.

(Hook- He finds love, loses love, finds a false solution, and gets railroaded by a scorned woman.)

Charley finds a “fixer.” Felicity Heart is from a sorted past, but very good at what she does. Her advice to Charley is to disappear until she can turn the tables on Marla…. which she is very capable of doing.

(Hook – Charley can’t fix the problem, but he uses his contacts to do his bidding for him.)

Charley vacations in Arizona, bunking with his former white water rafting buddy. He melds back into that life easily, and after Marla is taken care of, he decides to remain working the Colorado River.

(Hook- Charley is finding the possibility that his dream life might be attainable.)

When Susan and her boyfriend show up as river guests, Charley has to fight his feelings as much as the river. The boyfriend is not a water person, and ends up out of the raft, in serious trouble. Charley is the only person who can save him.

(Hook- Charley could just get the boyfriend out of the way by letting him drown, but he’s better than that, and shows it by saving his life.)

The possibility of losing Charley turns Susan’s true feeling loose. She and Charley finally get together.

(Hook- Susan finds her real love.)

After six weeks together they are married. On their honeymoon river trip, it’s Charley who ends up out of the raft, being sucked under. Susan is the only one who can save him. She goes through all her training in a matter of seconds and goes in after Charley.

The both end up on the beach, exhausted, healed of contusions, and dry. They can’t believe they survive the ordeal. (Spoiler alert… they didn’t.) It’s not until they see their bodies hauled out of the river by their friends on the other side, do they realize they are forever now, river ghosts.

And the journey ends…. or begins…

(Final Hook- Charley and Susan die, become ghosts, and continue their life on the river, forever.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Ron Horton]

Subject line: Ron Horton’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch for “Charley’s River.

I learned you really can say a lot in 15 seconds. The hook is the only thing that is really important in the Elevator Pitch.

Charley, successful in finance, wants his outdoorsman life back, but what does he really need to give up to get it; Life itself?

1a. What does Charley need to give up in order to have the life of his dreams? Life itself?

1b. Charley is going to face a life-or-death decision. Will he choose death to gain life?

2. Dilemma: How to get out of the rat race, return to the outdoors life he left long ago, stay out of prison, find love, and take care of his ailing Dad.

2a. Main Conflict: Staying out of prison.

2b. What’s at stake: Freedom

2c. Goal/Unique Opposition: Get the girl by saving her boyfriend’s life.

3. I’m working on an adventure script about an unhappy financial executive who is forced away from his career by a woman scorned. He’s drawn back to his old life on the rapids of the Colorado River, but in order to find happiness, he will likely have to give up everything, including life itself.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s 10 Most Interesting Things about “Charley’s River.”

A. Charley is young, a multi-millionaire, and feels stuck in the rat race. His only escape is in his daydreams, which are high energy.

B. Charley jumps off the top of his high-rise office complex in full rappelling gear, only to be yanked back up by the sound of his cell phone.

C. The main turning point comes when Charley is faced with a serious prison sentence if he can’t clear his name. That sends him off on his quest for the life he really wants.

D. Charley’s dilemma is in trying to figure out how to justify leaving a seven-figure salary, his ailing father, and a possible special love interest, in order to find happiness back at a life he remembers.

E. The industry hot lady, Marla, who is seducing Charley turns out to be someone with a vengeance. Charley must now, not only figure his future out, but must figure out how to stay out of prison.

F. The reversal would be when Marla comes up against Charley’s ace-in-the-hole, Felicity, who is two steps ahead of her in cunning and intelligence.

G. Both Lenny, a business associate, and Marla, turn against Charley. Lenny does so for money, Marla for revenge of something that happened way back in high school.

H. Charley and Susan end up fully alive… with their deaths on the river.

The excitement of White-Water Rafting, to the right producer, could be very enticing. This is also the type of move that can feel like a big tent production, yet fall into a lower budget production cost. The strong roles of the lead characters should be an easy sell to A list actors.

In thinking about the Top 10 List, I was able to see a couple flaws that were easily fixed, once brought out in the open. Again, thinking about what a producer would want is very beneficial in getting a script sold and a movie made.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton’s Producer/Manager meetings.

To Producer:

Charley’s River is a movie that has three lead characters who have deep, fun, personalities. The budget is moderate, with the major costs involving filming on the Colorado river, and, the actors who see the benefit of taking on these roles. There are four leads, and six minor parts.

The movie revolves around Charley Fox, a young, very successful, financial expert, living in Chicago. His days find him constantly daydreaming about the college years, when he used to be a thrill seeker in the wilds on and around the Colorado river.

Charley desires to have that life again, and to be with Susan, the questionably available woman he meets. His challenges are, his seven-figure career, his aging/ailing father, and Susan has a very big boyfriend with a badge.

When he finally decides to pursue his dream life as a white-water rafting guide, he has no idea that a future rafting group would include Susan and her boyfriend. He also has no idea that he and Susan would only find their life together after their deaths.

At this point I’d shut up and let them ask their questions.

To Manager:

The script I’m promoting today is Charley’s River. The initial setting is in the heart of Chicago, where we find Charley Fox, a young, highly successful financial expert. Charley is also constantly daydreaming about days gone by as a college age kid who lived a life on the edge, mountain climbing, hang gliding, and most of all white-water rafting. Much of his daydreaming is interwoven with his life in Chicago.

Charley finds himself being strangled by, his seven-figure salary career, caring for his aging/ailing father, trying to keep out of jail after being framed for financial fraud, and looking for love that doesn’t seem available.

All of this is nothing compared to what he will find when he finally transitions from the city to the Colorado river. There, he will find that only through death, will he ever really find the happiness he has been searching for.

At this point I’d let the Manager ask questions. I would also have my script ready to hand over for review. The opening scene is full octane entertainment, starting with one of Charley’s daydreams.

What I learned today:

It’s very important to think what is needed to get my project asked for, and made. Try and predict what is going to be asked, well in advance of when I walk in the door. Prepare, prepare, prepare, and be extremely open, but not wimpy.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Ron Horton]

Subject Line: Ron Horton’s Marketable Components for “Charley’s River”

I learned there is a lot to think about when deciding what to throw at a potential buyer. This is a great lesson for getting the juices flowing.
(I also learned you have to mark a lesson complete at the bottom in order to move on… 😉 )

Log Line: What would a young, very successful, financial broker have to give up in order to live the life of his dreams? Could it be… Life Itself?

A: Unique – In college Charlie was a thrill seeker. Mountain climbing, hang gliding, but his true love was white water rafting. He tosses his seven-figure career aside to be a guide on the Colorado River. His only regret was leaving a potential love back in Chicago. Chance has her book a rafting trip with her burley cop, boyfriend. Over the course of a week Charley’s dream becomes more real. Before either of them acknowledges their feelings, Charley is saving her life, only to become trapped under the river. It’s her turn to save him. In the end their love becomes eternal, in the most real way. They have to die to truly find each other, and live on.

B: Great Title? “Charley’s River” creates mystery. Who can own a river?

C: Loosely based on a true story.

E: It’s a first? To die for love and go on to fulfil the dream?

F: Ultimate: 12-foot standing waves and non-stop white-water action, for many has been the ultimate thrill, and for others a fascination in the least.

G: Wide Audience Appeal? Who wouldn’t like to be able to chuck everything to fulfill their dream?

H: Similarity to a box-office success? Scenes similar to “The River Wild”.

J: A great role for a bankable actor? Charley is a day-dreaming adventurer, trapped in a business suit, without a companion, and restricted by an ailing father. He’s quick on wit, and very appealing to his clients. His great looks gets the attention of one of the client’s female personnel. When he finally makes his break, he is still torn by guilt. How is his dad going to survive without him. His wonder of, what if he had just asked her out. Trying to keep an old girlfriend at bay.

I’d say A, E, G & J are the most promising. If I have to just pick two, it would be A and J. And if I had to pick just one, it would be A as it gives definition to J as well.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Ron Horton.

[Ron Horton]

“Charley’s River” Project by Ron Horton. Market to Producers, Actor’s managers.

ASSIGNMENT #1

1. “Charley’s River” is a Second Chance Action/Adventure. How much should we expect to give up in our lives, in order to become fully realized? The Concept deals with one man’s world of internal turmoil, his dreams, and reality. How much might Charley have to give up to have the life that he longs for? Could it be… Life Itself?

2. When dealing with hopes and dreams, too many people stay stuck there, refusing to do what is necessary to become complete. Charley gives us all hope, showing us how to beat the demons, and rapids, in our own rivers.

3. This is hard to answer. Although I have an actor in mind who loves white water rafting, and would be perfect for the part, he’s an A list actor and will be very hard to get in front of. Therefore, I’ll probably target producers first, with the caveat that I will drop this actor’s name when we get to that point in the process. I am also friends with an actor, who is presently working his way up the ladder with TV parts, that I have in mind as a co-star. Management companies that Produce should go hand and hand with targeting Producers. I feel managers/agents would be my choice for getting in front of an actor, and I certainly won’t rule them out.

4a. This 1st lesson has brought me to the realization that I neglected, for 4 years, something I truly love.

b. It’s also shown me that I need to read, re-read, and then read again, all material that is presented.

c. What excites me might not be what excites a buyer. I have to take all my blinders off, and I have to keep at it as if possessed.

d. Years ago I was told to picture the movie poster when developing my pitch. I think I see the need to bring this into the development of all my sales tools. It’s how others see my movie that counts most.

e. I reaffirmed, with today’s views, it ain’t easy…. but it’s very possible. I can also realize my own hopes and dreams, and I won’t have to give up as much as Charley does….

f. Target, target, target. I have to research who wants what, what they are capable of, and then make it their decision to want the script.

[Ron Horton]

Ron Horton, from next to Canada in Vermont. I took too long a break from writing, 4 years, but I’m back! Since starting about 15 years ago I’ve written four scripts, with the 1st one placing in the quarter finals of a major contest, based on story alone from what they told me. I spent a lot of time willy nilly trying to get my scripts out there. Pitching was my best success, with one producer saying, “send me anything you write.”
I’d like to hone my ability and become laser focused on getting my material to the right people. I’m 73, so I don’t have time to waste.
Something unique? Last year I became “The World’s Oldest Rookie” when I planted my butt into a Legends Race Car and took my first competative lap. Nobody has ever started racing at age 72. I did this because my dad raced his car #165, when I was 1 year old. I now race my own #165 in his honor. I also named my car, Jazz Legend, as I’ve been a professional musician since 1966, although not a Legend. 🙂
It’s time to get this career back on track!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Ron Horton.