Ron Johnson
Forum Replies Created
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<font size=”3″>Ron’s beat sheet- Draft 1</font>
<font size=”3″>My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
</font><font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is with one or two hidden truths about my characters it provides a drive we don’t see, causes actions to be made that might or might not be understood by the character, but in any case makes the story stronger.</font>
Surface Layer: Eddie is forced into the drug trade by his actions and inactions.<div>
Deeper Layer: Eddie’s been repressing his fears in life but wants justice.
Major Reveal: Father died during a home invasion. During Ducassi’s showdown Eddie aims to kill Ducassi.
Influences Surface Story Eddie’s conscious bothers him at first, but he realizes he can have an efffect on the drug scene.
Hints: He uses his reputation to influence drug buys. Recruits two enforcers to his side. Notices and follows someone who’s hanging on the fringes of the drug scene discovering a government drug trade route.
Changes Reality: Actively goes after the govt drug route, could be the drugs that killed his friend. Eddie wants justice for his dead friend.
8 Balled Outline
The Agent confronts Ducassi, a drug dealer, in a back alley, and cuffs one wrist to a pipe. The Agent interrogates, beats on Ducassi a bit to keep him in line and focused on his duty to the Agent.
Beginning: Eddie turns down a promotion when he’s clearly capable of the job. We learn he use to be a driver but just wants to work the dock and go home at the end of the day.
Inciting Incident: At a party in the country/farm lands, Eddie is partying with co-workers and a girl who loves cocaine.
The Girl knows where a stash of cocaine is hidden and lures Eddie to go a bedroom with her. Eddie is drunk and turns down the offer of cocaine, but the Girl convinces him to go with her.
The girl finds the cocaine and pours some on a dresser, Eddie spills his drink and wrecks an 8 ball of cocaine1.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Ducassi wakes up a hung over Eddie on a couch from the party. Ducassi demands payment, but </font>Eddie doesn’t have 1500 in cash. Ducassi, anger mixed with fear gives Eddie a gun and tells him to raise the money.
Turning Point 1: Eddie fails to raise the money to pay off the debt. Ducassi, more fear than anger says he needs to pay his guy and aims a gun at Eddie, The girl is handcuffed to a radiator and she pleads with Ducassi. Ducassi turns his aim from Eddie to the Girl and demands the money my any means necessary. Eddie in a panic kills the Ducassi to save a girl.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>The Agent watches who Eddie meets with outside the court house, then at the bar, then sits in his car outside Eddie’s apartment.</font>
Act 2: Town views Eddie as a hero, he’s uncomfortable with the attention.</div><div>
Agent Taylor introduces himself as Ducassi’s handler, Taylor lays the hammer down with threats of charges if he doesn’t perform. He forces Eddie to become his new CI and to keep his operation going.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie continues to struggle with his hero status, </font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>In a down moment Eddie talks with his friend about the home invasion and his trauma triggered his action to shoot Ducassi.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>The Agent comes to Eddie for information and Eddie has none. </font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”> Agent gives Eddie some hard cold advice and tells him to leverage his rep in the crime world as a cold blooded killer into actionable intel.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie uses his anger to get the job done as a CI, he puts people in their place with his rep as a killer.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie notices a dude who seems to be around then things go down. He remembers him being at the party when the coke was ruined, is at the bar when Ducassi is making deals, and now when he’s making deals. </font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>The Agent is contacted by his SAG and wants to shut down the op with his CI dead, the Agent says his new CI is making progress in Ducassi’s place. </font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Two enforcers beat down Eddie to enforce the pecking order.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie is convinced the hanger around set up the beat down, catches his plate number. </font>
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eddie realizes this path leads to either prison or death. He must break free from the agents grip.</div><div>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>Eddie uses the detective to get info on the fringe man. </font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”> He takes that info and goes to city hall, the library and internet searches Eddie discovers he has purchased a foreclosed farm and adjacent property. </font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>Using his drone Eddie discovers a make shift landing strip where bundles of drugs are unloaded. He sets up a </font>surveillance camera and monitors the house.<font face=”arial”> </font></font>
Act 3: Uncovers govt plot running drugs through the town. </div><div>
Eddie gets a movement notification at the farm and Eddie gets the drone and heads out. From the drones perspective a small plane lands and bundles are unloaded into an SUV. It appears a white pilot, a Hispanic man talk with the fringe dude and the fringe dude gets into the SUV, the plane departs.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Goes to a federal building for assistance behind the Agents back.</font>
Turning Point 3: Fed govt building Eddie is informed the govt knows about his activities </div>
Act 4 Climax: Face off with the cartels, govt and locals over the drug route
Resolution: with his drug life over he takes over assisting the agents victim’s assistance.
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<font size=”3″>My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
</font><font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is with one or two hidden truths about my characters it provides a drive we don’t see, causes actions to be made that might or might not be understood by the character, but in any case makes the story stronger.</font>
Surface Layer: Eddie is forced into the drug trade by his actions and inactions.<div>
Deeper Layer: Eddie’s been repressing his fears in life but wants justice.
Major Reveal: Father died during a home invasion. During Ducassi’s showdown Eddie aims to kill Ducassi.
Influences Surface Story Eddie’s conscious bothers him at first, but he realizes he can have an efffect on the drug scene.
Hints: He uses his reputation to influence drug buys. Recruits two enforcers to his side. Notices and follows someone who’s hanging on the fringes of the drug scene discovering a government drug trade route.
Changes Reality: Actively goes after the govt drug route, could be the drugs that killed his friend. Eddie wants justice for his dead friend.
Beginning: Eddie turns down a promotion when he’s clearly capable of the job.</div>
Inciting Incident: Spills an 8 ball of cocaine at a party.
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Turning Point 1: fails to raise the money to pay off the debt. In the following standoff Eddie kills the drug dealer to save a girl and himself.
Act 2: Town views Eddie as a hero when an undercover agent introduces himself as the dealers handler, forces Eddie to become his new CI and takes the drug dealers place to keep an operation going.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie talks about the Ducassi incident with friend and reveals the home invasion as a child.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Eddie uses his anger to get the job done as a CI, he puts people in their place with his rep as a killer.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Two enforcers beat down Eddie to enforce the pecking order. </font>
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eddie realizes this path leads to either prison or death. He must break free from the agents grip.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Recognizes a stranger who has been watching on the fringes and follows him to his car, gets his plate, then uses the detective to get info on the man. He has purchased a foreclosed farm. discovers a make shift landing strip where bundles of drugs are unloaded </font>
Act 3: Uncovers govt plot running drugs through the town.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Goes to a federal building for assistance behind the Agents back.</font>
Turning Point 3: Fed govt building Eddie is informed the govt knows about his activities Act 4 Climax: Face off with the cartels, govt and locals over the drug route</div>
Resolution: with his drug life over he takes over assisting the agents victim’s assistance.
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<font size=”3″>My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
</font><font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is writing out the full character outlines even if the event from one character aren’t in the story provides motivations for the story and characters that make sense. It allows misunderstandings between characters to be unforced. </font>
Eddie-protagonist
Beginning: Eddie turns down a promotion when he’s clearly capable of the job.<div>
Inciting Incident: Spills an 8 ball of cocaine at a party.
Turning Point 1: fails to raise the money to pay off the debt. In the following standoff Eddie kills the drug dealer to save a girl and himself.
Act 2: Town views Eddie as a hero when an undercover agent introduces himself as the dealers handler, forces Eddie to become his new CI and takes the drug dealers place to keep an operation going.
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Eddie realizes this path leads to either prison or death. He must break free from the agents grip.
Act 3: Uncovers govt plot running drugs through the town.
Turning Point 3: Fed govt building Eddie is informed the govt knows about his activities
Act 4 Climax: Face off with the cartels, govt and locals over the drug route
Resolution: with his drug life over he takes over assisting the agents victim’s assistance.
Det Taylor-Antagonist
Beginning: starts working under cover operations in the Midwest
Inciting Incident: Partner or attached ops person is severely injured/killed during an operation.
Turning Point 1: A person under Taylors guidance is severely injured in an op he set up, took short cuts.
Act 2: 3 letter agency leans on Taylor to protect their op. Tracking drugs tainted or marked of Chinese fentanyl
Turning Point 2 New head of dept. takes over and has no field experience yet demands immediate results.
Act 3: His C.I. is killed by Eddie.
Turning Point 3: New C.I. Eddie uncovers the govt trade route
Act 4 Climax: Survive the exodus as locals, govt, and cartels clash over drug route disruption
Resolution: death, arrest, or suspension
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<font size=”3″>My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
</font><font size=”3″>What I learned doing this assignment is knowing how supporting characters help the story and give the audience insight into the lead characters subtext. </font>
Support 1:
Name Gibson(Gibby)
Role co worker and drinking buddy
main purpose Eddie’s sounding board
value He brings out the inner thoughts of Eddie, his true feelings and thoughts
Support 2
Name Tracee
Role Damsel in distress
main purpose story catalyst
value Tracee’s life if threatened by Ducassi and triggers Eddie’s trauma’s response and then she’s the one who provides Gibby the fentanyl laced drugs that kills him. She also threatens to expose Eddie’s duel life.
Support 3
Name Ducassi
Role Drug dealer
main purpose catalyst that propels Eddie into the drug world
value It’s Ducassi’s drugs Eddie spills and he forces Eddie to pay for the drugs with an extremely short deadline. In his fearful rage he threatens Tracee with a gun that causes Eddie to shoot Ducassi.
Support 4
Name Special agent in charge Warren
Role Det Taylor’s field supervisor
main purpose Runs uncover ops without having done the job himself. Pushes for unrealistic results so he can stand in front of the media with successful pressers
Support 5
Name Jones
Role 3 letter agency man
main purpose directs Taylor for the agency’s needs
value pressures Taylor with unrealistic goals
value The agency is tracing tainted drug routes and could be running their own supply line to fund other projects. Taylor is being blackmailed by his own on the job mistakes by the agency.
support 6
Name Stroud
Role Middle man for cartel/govt drug smuggling ring
main purpose Eddie during his forced drug dealing uncovers the ring
Back Ground
New Guy at Eddie’s work. Eddie helps him get acclimated on the job, shows Eddie’s helpful side
Victim the person Taylor helps to make ends meet.
3 Letter agency Guy, adds pressure to Taylor
FBI/DEA guy from Chicago or Mpls field office. Tells the office already knows about him, who can he trust?
Drug enforcer #1 Beats down Eddie during a drug buy, then ends up working with Eddie
Drug enforcer #2 Beats down Eddie during a drug buy
Cartel liason monitors drug deliveries and provides element of fear
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment was that as I put together these character profiles, the antagonist has a lot of good qualities that have been bent or distorted by the realities of crimes, so as he does his job, he appears to be evil when he’s been shaped by circumstances. The characters have more depth which makes for far more interesting stories and will make things tougher on both characters.
Eddie
Concept
After Eddie kills a drug dealer in self-defense, a dirty cop forces Eddie to take the Dealer’s place. Eddie does as he’s told and begins pulling on a thread that leads to corruption at the highest levels.
Character’s journey-a meek stay at home loner gets forced into a crime network and exposes a governmental conspiracy.
What subtext can the actor play? Compassion for friends and co workers, fear, anger, vengeance.
7. Character Subtext: hiding something<div>
8. Character Intrigue: Unspoken wound
9. Flaw: can’t look at their fears, or gives up easily(fear)
10. Values: honesty
11. Character Dilemma: safety vs risk
Det. Taylor
7. Character Subtext: luring/seducing</div>
8. Character Intrigue: conspiracy
9. Flaw: over confidence/over doing things
10. Values: duty
11. Character Dilemma: the rule of law vs results
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Ron Johnson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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Ron’s character profiles part 1
My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is that my antagonist is much more human that I imagined and that makes it tougher on both leads.
Protag-Eddie
Concept
After Eddie kills a drug dealer in self-defense, a dirty cop forces Eddie to take the Dealer’s place. Eddie does as he’s told and begins pulling on a thread that leads to corruption at the highest levels.
Character’s journey-a meek stay at home loner gets forced into a crime network and exposes a governmental conspiracy.
What subtext can the actor play? Compassion for friends and co workers, fear, anger, vengeance.
Role in the Story: Protagonist-allows things to happen and must fight to regain his freedom
Description: early thirties, hockey hair
Core Traits: reserved, empathetic, honest, observant.
Motivation; Want/Need: wants to protect those around him, needs to find his manhood
Wound: dad was died during a home invasion, triggered trauma response
Likability: party time, break time at work he’s fun loving, tells jokes, has trivia.
Relatability: hard working guy at work, helps the newcomer get adjusted to the job.
Empathy: lives alone trying to get by. loves his two ferrets and talks to them like people. Has an incredible computer system with multi screens.
Det Taylor
What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? The bad guys always get the best one liners. Freedom to have fun being bad. His goals are about doing good but has strayed from the path.
Role in the Story: Cop who bends the rules to meet his goals
Description: early 40’s and undercover dresses like a trucker, in the office, like a cop.Core Traits: controlling, analytical, manipulative, sadistic
Motivation; Want/Need: to make up for a past mistake, needs to ensure his future.<div>
Wound: someone got seriously hurt from an op he put together.
Likability: trying to help the victim of a previous crime or op that went bad.
Relatability-stuck in a work system where he’s just a cog
Empathy: lays out the plan again for his boss who’s a career long desk jockey. The Boss want’s results for his press conferences in front of the media even though he himself has no practical field work experience
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Ron Johnson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is is that it’s far easier to create a characters dimensions rather than trying to add it after one or several drafts have been written.
Title: 8 Balled
Eddie Tanner-protagonist.
Likability: party time, break time at work he’s fun loving, tells jokes, has trivia.<div>
Relatability: hard working guy at work, helps the newcomer get adjusted to the job.
Empathy: lives alone trying to get by. loves his two ferrets and talks to them like people. Has an incredible computer system with multi screens.
Det. Taylor- Antagonist
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Likability: trying to help the victim of a previous crime or op that went bad.</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>
</font><font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>Relatability: being micro managed by his supervisor and receiving pressure from a 3 letter agency running their own op in his jurisdiction. </font>
Empathy: lays out the plan again for his boss who’s a career long desk jockey. The Boss want’s results for his press conferences in front of the media even though he himself has no practical field work experience
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is I had some ideas for subtext earlier and now I have actual events from the characters past that explains behaviors and decisions made in the script. This will make writing those scene flow with confidence.
Eddie Tanner:
Hidden Agendas: Keeps finances secret. This stems from a home invasion robbery his family experienced as a kid, his father ended up dying from this event.
Unspoken wound: His fathers death as a kid.
Family tragedy/trauma effects his decisions as an adult. He keeps his finances hidden so no one knows what he has and thus, won’t try to take it. He had the money to pay for the spilt cocaine that started his journey into the drug world, but even then doesn’t let on he has money.
Det. Taylor:
Feels disrespected on the job and in life. Hidden agenda’s and secrets are his thing. He uses his job to get what he is owed by the world around him. Lack of respect on the job pushes him further. Det Taylor thus uses manipulation on the job and blackmail to drive his agenda.
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is that subtext is difficult to find because it’s hidden but it’s well worth the exploration because it makes the characters to much more real and interesting. I can see where having this information at the start is extremely important to crafting a great script.
Example movie.
Out of the Furnance
Russell Cuze(Christian Bale)
subtext identity: integrity
subtext trait: Fixer
subtext logline:Russell Cuze is a hard working guy who’s trying to keep his family together.
possible areas of subtext:drinks to deal with pressure of sick father, tries being a father to his younger brother who suffers from ptsd, wants to be a father, helps anyone who needs it to avoid his own issues.
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>EDDIE</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>subtext identity: An </font>underachiever who avoids conflict</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>subtext traits: hides things, honest, guilt</font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>subtext logline:Eddie is a working class guy who avoids any kind of limelight and doesn’t want extra attention.</font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>Possible areas of subtext: Turns down promotion at work when he clearly can do the job, lives alone and doesn’t have visitors, helps others to make up for an unseen wound from his past.</font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>Det. Taylor</font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”><font face=”arial”>subtext identity: Manipulative, sadistic</font></font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d”>subtext traits:Controlling</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d”>subtext logline: Det Taylor is a manipulative police officer who controls criminals with threats</font>
<font color=”#4d5c6d”>Possible areas of subtext: takes pleasure interrogating subjects, using potential charges to motivate criminals to do his bidding. Uses his badge for his own gains. Feels the world at large owes him. </font>
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Actor Atrtactions.
My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is how important subtext is from the beginning. How many drafts could have been skipped in past writing had I known this.
Eddie Tanner(protagonist)
1)What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? Multitude of emotions and actions. An everyman who rises to confront institutional crimes.
2)What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? Multi dimensional, helps those around him, has and uses everyday skills to survive tough situations. A tech like McGyver
3)What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? The killing of Ducassi the drug dealer, learning and uncovering a governmental plot
4)How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? An entertaining fun loving guy with too much trivia knowledge hiding a past wound.
5)What could be this character’s emotional range. Eddie experiences pure fear to outrage and violence.
6)What subtext can the actor play? Compassion for friends and co workers, fear, anger, vengeance.
7)What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? Eddie’s balancing act with the dirty cop as Eddie’s street knowledge in the drug business grows, the dirty cop begins to worry.
8)How will this character’s unique voice be presented? The way Eddie makes connections between things from work issues to how the drug work works to govt policy.
9)What could make this character special and unique? His integrity, Eddie will enter the grey areas but never lets temptation get the better of him.
Jordan Allen Taylor(Detective Taylor) antagonist
1)What about this role would cause an actor to want to be known for it? The bad guys always get the best one liners. Freedom to have fun being bad.
2)What makes this character one of the most interesting characters in your story? He pulls strings, uses the law to break the law, he pushes the means justify the ends to his advantage.
3)What are the most interesting actions the Lead could take in the script? Hard questions scene in the opening with one of his CI’s. Questioning sessions with Eddie.
4)How can you introduce this role in a way that could sell it to an actor? The opening alley scene where Det Taylor handcuffs a CI to a railing in an alleyway to shake the truth out of him. Delivers a series of blows to make sure his CI knows who’s in charge of the streets.
5)What could be this character’s emotional range? Soft spoken evil, rage, panic. Sadistic evil cat playing with others lives.
6)What subtext can the actor play? Manipulative control. establishing fear, probing suspects for weakness.
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7)What’s the most interesting relationships this character can have? How he manages Eddie who is forced to be a CI. Tough love coaching style to manipulative coercion. How he reacts when Eddie gets the upper hand.
8)How will this character’s unique voice be presented? The image of total control while constantly fishing for information.
9)What could make this character special and unique? The way he uses psychology to overpower is victims.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Ron Johnson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment was how important it is to find really cool and interesting things for the actor to do and to start out fast. Knowing that I need to add this kind of stuff in the beginning will make the writing process much quicker.
Thriller/Drama: Out of the Furnace.
Christian Bale Woody Harrelson
Christian Bale Protagonist Russell Baze
1)The range of emotions he plays. Compassion for family to out for revenge bad ass.
2)He stands up for his friends, cares for his family. In prison he doesn’t back down to anyone.
3)Friend is being bullied by heavies and he interrupts the meeting and doesn’t back down when the bad guy tries to intimidate him. In bed with his beautiful girlfriend, fights latino in prison who tried to intimidate him. His girlfriend leaves him for the man who put him in prison. Hunts down and lures the man who killed his friend and brother.
4) working class guy who finds his brother betting on the ponies. Shows concern and passion while not backing down.
5) From calm compassion to vengeful killing. Always looking to help those around him.
6) Passionate love for his family and girlfriend, the pain of loss and heartbreak.
7)With his brother Rodney who suffers from PTSD from Iraq, pushes him to be responsible to himself and the family, but understands Rodney’s inner pain.
8) Soft spoken with strength and integrity.
9) He desires to stay in the shadows but his sense of morality keeps pushing him ahead.
Woody Harrelson Harlan DeGroat
1) plays a hard drinking bad ass who has no problem beating up strangers or his girl.
2) He’s an evil force set to collect as much as he can from whoever he can. Runs numbers, illegal fight club, drugs, loan sharking.
3) Beats up his girl and then a good Samaritan who comes to her aid. Taunts Rodney to intimidate him, measuring him up for future profits. Ambushes and kills John and Rodney.
4) Drinking hard liquor at a drive Inn theater, can’t take a little ribbing and beats up everyone who stands up to him.
5) Cohersive calm to brute violence.
6) His obsession is money and power. Multiple ways of intimidation.
7) John-he preys on him for cash flow but also need him for cash flow.
8) Constantly looking for ways to exploit people
9) He’s a machine of evil.
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is I need to start thinking bigger. Listing all the possible threats, brain storming and placing those elements within the outline. I feel like I started doing that and I know there’s room for improvement so that didn’t freeze me during the process.
Title: 8 Balled
Concept: After Eddie kills a drug dealer in self defense, a dirty cop forces Eddie to take the drug dealers place. Eddie pulls on a thread that reveals corruption at the highest levels.
Drama/Thriller
life and death situations
Mystery/intrigue
Villian: dangerous, devious, wanting power and money
Emotional high stakes
real life situations
Act 1
Opening: Eddie turns down a promotion at work
Inciting Incident: Spills an 8 ball of cocaine at a party that wasn’t his.
a) Ducassi, the drug dealer forces Eddie to replace the spilt drugs by any means necessary.
b) Eddie fails at armed robbery and faces a panicked Ducassi, Ducassi threatens to kill Eddie’s female friend and Eddie kills Ducassi out of reflex.
c)Eddie is viewed as a hero in town, but someone is watching Eddie from afar.
Turning point: A Dirty Cop forces Eddie into the drug business.
Dirty Cop reveals Ducassi worked for him and threatens him with trumped up charges unless he does as instructed.
Act 2:
New Plan: Eddie struggles in the drug world. Gets advice from non drug dealing friend.
Eddie gets swindled by two addicts.
Dirty Cop angrily gives advice. Tells him to use his killing of Ducassi as currency and make things happen.
Eddie takes over Ducassi’s route, two distributors try to take advantage of Eddie’s lack of game, but Eddie quickly reminds them who killed Ducassi
Eddie makes first kilo delivery, two higher end distributors test Eddie, when Eddie tries the tough guy act the two give Eddie a tough love lesson, drop loose cash on the fallen Eddie, then gives a yank on Eddie’s early stage rat tail. Confirmation Eddie is the Dirty Cop’s stooge.
Plan in Action: Eddie understands the Cop has done this to many people.
Eddie makes a pick from a cartel source, many angry looking eyes on him, not a friendly exchange.
Eddie is pulled over for a break tap stop at stop sign, the drugs are in the back seat.
Mid Point Turning Point: Eddie needs to fight back. If he doesn’t he either going to prison or end up dead.
Act 3
Rethink Everything: stress of double life effecting his job.
Friend dies from fentanyl overdose with drugs provided by the girl he saved from Ducassi.
Eddie contemplates life at the house where he spilled the drugs, next door is the foreclosed farm and Eddie sees a plane perform a night landing. He sneaks though the farm field and sees an unmarked car from a 3 letter agency taking bundles into the trunk. He’s spotted and they give chase, the plane takes off.
New Plan: Eddie needs to contact law enforcement outside the state, federal level. Eddie decides he can’t trust Iowa law enforcement and makes plans to visit Minneapolis.
Turning Point, Huge Failure, Major Shift: Eddie makes contact with the Feds in Minneapolis. They already know who he is.
An agent gives him a key card and give him directions to the buildings parking garage
Agent tells Eddie it would be very valuable if someone was able to gather information on a cartel meth distribution route.
Act 4
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Eddie springs his plan to show law enforcement coercion and other crimes.
Eddie tracks down the safe house with the meth. Tracks who visits the house. Bikers, truck driver, Dirty Cop
Dirty Cop threatens Eddie for not providing enough C I work and not bringing in enough income. Eddie had wired the location for sound and video.
Eddie messes up a deal and lures the Dirty Cop into trap where Dirty Cop is taken into custody.
Resolution: the dirty cop is removed, Eddie is off the hook, but the institutions continue on under the guise of national security.
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Concept: After Eddie kills a drug dealer in self defense, a dirty cop forces Eddie to take the drug dealers place. Eddie pulls on a thread that reveals corruption at the highest levels.
What I learned doing this assignment is filling in the blanks was relatively easy, but I also know I can make the structure stronger and will be willing to make improvements as I move ahead.
Main Conflict: How can Eddie break free of the dirty cop.
Old Ways: Avoids responsibility, no self confidence, sticks to the shadows
New Ways: Seeks solutions, fights for his beliefs, growing situational awareness
Act 1
Opening: Eddie turns down a promotion at work
Inciting Incident: Spills an 8 ball of cocaine at a party that wasn’t his.
Turning point: A Dirty Cop forces Eddie into the drug business.
Act 2:
New Plan: Eddie struggles in the drug world.
Plan in Action: Eddie understands the Cop has done this to many people.
Mid Point Turning Point: Eddie needs to fight back. If he doesn’t he will going to prison or end up dead.
Act 3
Rethink Everything: Friend dies from fentanyl overdose
New Plan: Eddie needs to contact law enforcement outside the state, federal level.
Turning Point, Huge Failure, Major Shift: Feds already know who he is.
Act 4
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Eddie springs his plan to show law enforcement coercion and other crimes.
Resolution: the dirty cop is removed, Eddie is off the hook, but the institutions continue on under the guise of national security.
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Ron’s Plot Subtext.
My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is that knowing my subtext before hand will save me time and headaches in future drafts and allow me to finish my script in a much quicker and efficient time frame.
After Eddie kills a drug dealer in self defense, a dirty cop forces Eddie to take the confidential informants place to make up for lost revenue. Eddie does as he’s told and pulls in a thread that leads to corruption at the highest levels.
I’m using two subtext plots, Layering and Fish out of water.
Subtext:
Shock of having to replace the lost cocaine any means aka robbery
dealing with the guilt of having killed someone.
fear of selling drugs and not knowing the lingo, the craft
Can he do undercover work without training?
Afraid of his past, father was murdered
Fear of the justice system.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Ron Johnson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m super pumped about writing this story. I can see images in the future arc, all I have to do is fill in the blanks and the mind will take over when it comes time to flesh out the story.
Protagonist: Eddie
Arc beginning: working class casual recreational drug user.
Arc ending: Exposes institutional drug trade.
Internal Journey: Insecure to confident.
External Journey: Dodges responsibility to standing up against corruption.
Old ways: Avoids responsibility, lack of confidence, sticks to the shadows
New ways: Seeks solutions, fights for what he believes in.
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Ron’s Intentional Lead Characters
My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is having a strong title helps me focus on getting started on my main characters to fit the title which should work with my pitch.
Character: Eddie
Logline: Eddie is a forklift operator who gets caught up in a local drug operation.
Unique:Lives life unaware of past childhood trauma
Antagonist:Dirty Cop
Logline:Dirty cop is a DEA/State Police officer who uses his position to gain power and Money
Unique:doesn’t fear being caught.
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Ron’s Title, concept, and character structure.
My Vision: I want a space that is dedicated to writing, so I can have an entire wall for notecard storyboarding. I want my projects to advance in competitions and then be requested by the studios. I want to see those projects in festivals, in theaters, on streaming platforms. I want writing and producing to be my full time job.
What I learned doing this assignment is the reinforcement of the importance of outlining. I want to be able to make changes on the fly without getting lost or confused down the line.
Title:8 Balled
Concept: After Derrick kills a drug dealer in self defense, a dirty cop forces Derrick to take the cop’s C.I.’s place to make up for lost revenue. Derrick does as he’s told and pulls on a thread that leads to corruption at the highest levels.
Character Structure: Protagonist vs Antagonist
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Ron Johnson.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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Hi, Ron Johnson here.
I’ve written 8 feature scripts, a dozen shorts or so. I’ve produced mixed martial arts documentaries, short projects getting millions of views in some cases, hundreds on others. My film professor told me I was a much better producer than writer and he was correct. I’ve also used this a motivation to improve my skills. He was one of my favorite instructors because he pulled no punches.
I have been through the pro series, masterclass, binge worthy and wasn’t planning on doing any more classes, but Hal talked about AI and this class seemed like one I couldn’t pass up. I hope to improve my speed in the creation process.
We’re raising our grandkids and soon they will be producing their own material on YouTube, I’m in preproduction on an untitled sci-fi short that the nine year old will star in. I have a respectable name from the astro physics world signed on to do the voice of AI.
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I Ron Johnson agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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I, Ron Johnson, agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
Ron Johnson.
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Hi everyone,
Ron Johnson here. I’ve taken the Pro Series, MSC, and the binge worthy class. In the past year with covid we’ve been forced to work overtime to keep up with the shipment of medical supplies and food, etc. I haven’t written anything at all in 2021, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been completely out of the loop. My binge worthy project has some legs and I’ve been working on background material for that show because I was lacking in high finance education. I’ve been taking notes, working on character development and potential scenes and episodes beyond my pilot. Looking forward to getting involved in learning again and hopefully have some ideas that will flesh out nicely.
I’ve produced a number of shorts and medium length projects, but the my recent study of wall street, I’m in position where I’m considering starting up my production company once again provided I hit my numbers. life is exciting.