Rosemary Lismore
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WIM Module 2 Lesson 6 Build in the Genre Conventions
I am a sought after writer, who creates memorable characters, whose scripts win academy awards, allowing me to dream for a living, (Spielberg is not the only one), providing an affluent lifestyle while living respected by friends, family, movie industry pros. I am consistently brilliant, writing the most important movies of our time.
What I learned: Instead of writing so much into the outline, to simply be sure there are enough areas where action is built it – to be brought to perfection later.
Title: Pointe To War
Concept: Alexis a ballet dancer extraordinaire, must learn to overcome the dictates
of others in order to show A Navy Seal Team they are unwittingly staring a war.
Genre: Action
List Conventions of Action:
· Purpose: Adrenaline stirring, fast paced, big-event story
· Demand for Action: action to get facts must be communicated
· Mission: get evidence navy seals will believe
· Escalating Action – difficulty relaying evidence
· Hero – fast thinking hand signals and notes get delivered
· Antagonist – dies trying to use a conflict to stop further conflicts
A girl with superior physical abilities is drawn into a scenario where she is aware the Navy Commander is plotting to blow up a massive cache of ordinance close to the North Korean border. She is thrown in with a Seal Team on the guise of training them her one good escape move. The Seal Team seeing her only as inferior tolerate her and must learn to trust her when she proves her move works. But when she comes to them with a story of a plot their Commander is hatching, they must decide if they trust her or their Commander. They are in effect fighting against each other going after the same goal. Peace.
Main Conflict: Alexis has no strength of character to have her ballet master see his error in choreography she goes on to have no strength to inform a navy seal team they are in danger of starting a major conflict. Her conflict is with authority figures who are in the wrong.
Old Ways – suck it up buttercup and move on with your day, acquiesce, lose energy, live downtrodden.
New Ways – explores various avenues so as to have something to help demonstrate what she is trying to inform. Doesn’t tolerate what she opposes during conversation, she verbally challenges anyone/everyone.
Act 1:
Opening
The artistic director of a major ballet company is slamming a cane down over and over, angrily screaming that the choreography is not happening. Fix it Fix it!!
Alexis is rehearsing with her partner an original work the artistic director/choreographer has prepared. She and her partner see the way several moves cannot follow each other, but it is her ending move that demonstrates the problem. He won’t speak up – snob – jealous of her career accomplishments so early, she is left hanging.
Inciting
Incident.She is declared incompetent and is sent off on sabbatical to train with a martial arts master to find her mojo / better attitude.
Turning Point
Alexis performing a sequence of 18 moves is sweating and panting. It has been 5 hours that she has trained, continuing with classes as they came and went while the senseii decides where she should be placed. Exhasted, she collapses into a wing back chair in a side room and is not noticed. A seal team enter with the senseii and while standing they load in a video of a pilot being dragged out of his crashed jet and beaten and dragged off. – into north korea.
Act 2:
New plan
Alexis has screamed out, no! how could the pilot not have known the defensive move we learned all day – she is caught by the team and the senseii. Shocked, the Commander has her shipped off to train navy seals this move. She is emotional, incredulous not able to believe what is going on.
Plan in action
Midpoint Turning Point
With her stealth ability, Alexis finds a computer and gets messages out to her ballet mates one Korean, one Russian, and asks for help re what to do, says she is with a seal team training them and Commander X is in charge. They inform her he is under investigation something to do with stolen ordinance.
Act 3:
Rethink everything
She knows now she must get the seals who have been tolerating her training, to listen to her. She starts to learn their hand signals and becomes familiar with them.
New plan
She will get the notes her mates have armed her with, to one Seal. In place of training the Seals, she performs a combination of sexy dancing and martial arts flying kicks. She attracts the notice of one particular Seal. She plans a love interest with to get him into a private space.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
The commander sends her to a male prison as he and the warden are conspiring together- under the guise of this amazing training she can offer prison guards. She’s too far away and out of communication!
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
She is in the prison and locked doors open as she approaches and manages to walk thru the library where she meets a seal who says he has been forgotten, that he was working undercover to discover a plot to steal munitions but fears his family/friends have been told he is dead. He gives her a note for the seals and he does a hand gesture. She wonders if the Seals would recognize this gesture. Again, doors open and she returns to the base where the Seals are. She must now get the seal team on her side, give them the note in – confidence from the Commander – whom they follow without question. They explain the commander has sent down orders their team is off to south korea. She forces the note in his side leg pocket and makes the hand gesture. Seal team leader walks away reading the note perplexed she would know that particular hand gesture. Alexis is nabbed by soldiers and bagged and taken to the border of n and s korea and left in an munitions box.
Resolution
The seal team have broken out their team member from prison helicopter at the ready and take him to s korea with them. They now question their orders before automatically blowing up the ordinance. The commander is there! He confronts the team and says it’s her or the ordinance. Choose, he lifts the bag off her head. And they withdraw weapons, the newly released prisoner who is a closer friend with one seal, grabs his mates’ hand gun from his side leg pocket and stands with the commander – holding the gun against the seal team. The ‘closer’ mate stealthily turns back to back from the seal closest to him. Befre anyone can see, he has lifted his auto rifle and shot his mate dead, tears in his eyes. The commander yells for 2 soldiers behind him to take the girl and lock her in the ‘barn’ with the ordinance and blow it. A Russian spy (off camera) shoots from the side out of our sight, the 2 soldiers and the Commander and walks off perhaps allowing himself to be seen by the seal team.
Alexis runs to the seals and they settle all. Back on stage now, she has reworked and performed a brilliant choreographed string of moves to a standing ovation and flowers. The artistic director smiles despite himself. Alexis looks up in the sky and does the hand gesture. The seals are in a helicopter watching her performance on a laptop. They watch her final steps and and smile knowingly. They roar in agreement when they see her do the hand gesture.
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WIM Module 3 Lesson 5 – Four Act Transformational Structure
I am a sought after writer, who creates memorable characters, whose scripts win academy awards, allowing me to dream for a living, (Spielberg is not the only one), providing an affluent lifestyle while living respected by friends, family, movie industry pros. I am consistently brilliant, writing the most important movies of our time.
What I learned: damn this is fun. I have clarity and can write without hesitation.
Create a first draft of your 4 Act Transformational Structure.
Concept – Alexis a ballet dancer extraordinaire, must learn to overcome the dictates of others in
order to show A Navy Seal Team they are unwittingly staring a war.
A girl with superior physical abilities is drawn into a scenario where she is aware the Navy Commander is plotting to blow up a massive cache of ordinance close to the North Korean border. She is thrown in with a Seal Team on the guise of training them her one good escape move. The Seal Team seeing her only as inferior tolerate her and must learn to trust her when she proves her move works. But when she comes to them with a story of a plot their Commander is hatching, they must decide if they trust her or their Commander. They are in effect fighting against each other going after the same goal. Peace.
Main Conflict: Alexis has no strength of character to have her ballet master see his error in choreography she goes on to have no strength to inform a navy seal team they are in danger of starting a major conflict. Her conflict is with authority figures who are in the wrong.
Old Ways – suck it up buttercup and move on with your day, acquiesce, lose energy, live downtrodden.
New Ways – explores various avenues so as to have something to help demonstrate what she is trying to inform. Doesn’t tolerate what she opposes during conversation, she verbally challenges anyone/everyone.
Act 1:
Opening
Alexis is rehearsing with her partner an original work the artistic director/choreographer has prepared. She and her partner see the way several moves cannot follow each
other, but it is her ending move that demonstrates the problem. He won’t speak up – snob – jealous of her career accomplishments so early, she is left hanging.
Inciting
Incident.She is declared incompetent and is sent off on sabbatical to train with a martial arts master to find her mojo / better attitude.
Turning Point
Alexis after 5 hours of training w various martial arts classes to ‘find her level’ she sits in a room with wingback chairs, and is not noticed. A seal team enter with the senseii and while standing they load in a video of a pilot being dragged out of his crashed jet and beaten and dragged off. – into north korea.
Act 2:
New plan
Alexis has screamed out, no! how could the pilot not have known the defensive move we learned all day – she is caught by the team and the senseii and they ship her off to train navy seals this move.
Plan in action
Midpoint Turning Point
Alexis gets messages out to her ballet mates one Korean, one Russian, and asks for help re what to do, says she is with a seal team training them and Commander X is in charge. They inform her he is under investigation something to do with stolen ordinance.
Act 3:
Rethink everything
She knows now she must get the seals who have been tolerating her training, to listen to her. She starts to learn their hand signals and becomes familiar with them.
New plan
She will get the notes her mates have armed her with to one seal she will start a love interest with.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
The commander sends her to a male prison as he and the warden are conspiring together- under the guise of this amazing training she can offer prison guards. She’s too far away and out of communication !
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
She is in the prison and locked doors open as she approaches and manages to walk thru the library where she meets a seal who says he has been forgotten, that he was working undercover to discover a plot to steal munitions but fears his family/friends have been told he is dead. He gives her a note for the seals and he does a hand gesture she recognizes from the team. Again, doors open and she returns to the base where the seals are. She must now get the seal team on her side, give them the note in – confidence from the Commander – whom they follow without question. They explain the commander has sent down orders their team is off to south korea. She forces the note in his side leg pocket and makes the hand gesture. Seal team leader walks away reading the note perplexed she would know that particular hand gesture. Alexis is nabbed by soldiers and bagged and taken to the border of n and s korea and left in an munitions box.
Resolution
The seal team have broken out their team member from prison and take him to s korea with them. They question their orders before automatically blowing up the ordinance. The commander is there! He confronts the team and says it’s her or the ordinance. Choose, he lifts the bag off her head. And they withdraw weapons, the newly released prisoner who is a closer friend with one seal, grabs his mates’ hand gun from his side leg pocket and stands with the commander – holding the gun against the seal team. The ‘closer’ mate stealthily lifts his auto rifle and shoots his mate, the commander yells for 2 soldiers behind him to take the girl and lock her in the ‘barn’ with the ordinance and blow it. A Russian (off camera) spy shoots from the side out of our sight, the 2 soldiers and the Commander and walks off perhaps allowing himself to be seen by the seal team.
Alexis runs to the seals and they settle all. Back on stage now, she has rewritten the choreography to a standing ovation and flowers. She looks up in the sky and does the hand gesture. The seals are in a helicopter watching her performance on a laptop and roar when they see her do the hand gesture.
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WIM Module 2 Lesson 4 What’s Beneath the Surface
Pointe to War
Concept: Alexis a ballet dancer extraordinaire, must learn to overcome the dictates of others in order to show A Navy Seal Team they are unwittingly staring a war.
Subtext Plot is Competitive Agendas.
On the surface they tolerate each other.
Under the surface they are full of doubt.
On the surface, Alexis is well informed and the Seal Team is misinformed.
Under the surface they are learning to respect each other.
A girl with superior physical abilities is drawn into a scenario where she is aware the Navy Commander is plotting to blow up a massive cache of ordinance close to the North Korean border. She is thrown in with a Seal Team on the guise of training them her one good escape move. The Seal Team seeing her only as inferior tolerate her and must learn to trust her when she proves her move works. But when she comes to them with a story of a plot their Commander is hatching, they must decide if they trust her or their Commander. They are in effect fighting against each other going after the same goal. Peace.
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WIM Module 2 Lesson 3 Transformational Journey
I am a sought after writer, who creates memorable characters, whose scripts win academy awards, allowing me to dream for a living, (Spielberg is not the only one), providing an affluent lifestyle while living respected by friends, family, movie industry pros. I am consistently brilliant, writing the most important movies of our time.
What I learned: printing out character traits that identify who my protagonist was and who she becomes is easy to use as a hit list – assuring I can check the differences show up in the script – allows me to see the weak one vs the strong.
Character Arc Protagonist:
Arc Beginning: Alexis is afraid of confrontation
Arc ending; Alexis guides a Navy Seal team to avert a war with Korea
Internal Journey: From timid and powerless to outspoken and fearless
External Journey: From quiet player who takes orders to being the one the Seals accept orders from
Old Ways: – Performed as she was instructed to perform (dance)
– Too afraid to speak up when she knew better that certain moves cannot be performed
together (which set her up for failure)
– was a follower
– cried easily –too quick to be emotionally overcome
New Ways: – Asks pertinent questions that points out flaws in an instruction
– Speaks up when moves should be questioned
– now a leader
– stands her ground and takes action
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Vision: I am a sought after writer, who creates memorable characters, whose scripts win academy awards, allowing me to dream for a living, (Spielberg is not the only one), providing an affluent lifestyle while living respected by friends, family, movie industry pros. I am consistently brilliant, writing the most important movies of our time.
What I learned: With better clarity on the ‘job’ characters do, seeing necessary action they must go through is easy to keep top of mind.
Character: Alexis world’s greatest and most physically capable prima ballerina
Logline: Alexis – protagonist, ballet dancer extraordinaire, must learn to overcome
the dictates of others in order to show a Navy Seal Team they are unwittingly
starting a war.
Unique: Extreme physical capabilities of a gifted ballerina are pitted against the
training of Navy Seals. We see how there is a place for both styles of expertise in
world events. Alexis learns to overrule orders. She is the Pointe in the title:
Pointe to War.
Character: Navy Commander
Logline: Charles Murdock, Navy Commander used to getting his way plots to set off
a cache of ordinance at the border with North Korea, believing it will bring talk of
destroying massive weapons storage back to the table.
Unique: Fits the title Pointe to War, as he is the Commander who will incite a conflict.
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Vision: I am a sought after writer, who creates memorable characters, whose scripts win academy awards, allowing me to dream for a living, (Spielberg is not the only one), providing an affluent lifestyle while living respected by friends, family, movie industry pros. I am consistently brilliant, writing the most important movies of our time.
What I learned doing the assignment:
Putting down quick lines : title, concept, character structure, make quick easy notes to keep on track and makes review easier.
Private Pirouette.
Unmatched in physical skill, Alexis the world’s most elite ballet dancer, saves a navy seal team when she uncovers a plot to have them start war with North Korea.
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What makes this character great from a writing perspective.
Ally is great from a writing perspective as we see her character arc from this scene. She can actually sing and write songs, so the credibility of her character is believable for an audience.
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These characters are able with visual clues and dialogue, to leave the audience expecting more witty, clever comments and wondering If Tess will continue to respond to them. We see an impending conflict of who gets the girl, we understand from the setting that they can play in an affluent world and deal with basic struggles. This makes the audience interested in what would normally be common, another fight for the girl, leave us wanting to know how these 3 will carry it off.
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What makes this character great from a writing perspective.
The coach is great from a writing perspective as we see how easily he will handle conflict, how he can remain the authority even against change. He is great because we see he can ‘take on your momma’ and we foresee that he will use calm wit and truth to keep to the focus. This leads the audience to look forward to how future conflict will affect him and we wonder if Jerry Lewis will get even somehow.
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What makes this character great from a writing perspective.
Doc is written in great, as we not only see him vie up to his opponent with words and actions, but overtake him with humour/perspective in a situation. We see Doc strong enough even while drunk to use smart wits to respond to Johnny. We see Doc able to control himself while Johnny just uses bravado. Control shows strength of character. Written in great as in one scene we see depth of character.
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What I learned rewriting my scene was to make my characters far more vulnerable. Until it is revealed, the character touts their strength which comes crashing down, when their emotional drama demands the audience knows their vulnerability.
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– What causes both characters to reveal their wounds?
Admitting they are afraid of love and easily and/or properly expressing it.
– How are those wounds motivating their emotions, actions, and reactions?
Will’s wound moves him to anger as he doesn’t want to face the possibility that he can’t be loved as his experience has shown him. He jumps to conclusions about why she wouldn’t actually want him and then leaves, lying to her on the way out.
Skylar’s wound makes her take a leap of faith and dare herself to believe someone she loves would stay with her – she asks Will to move with her working through her fear; when he turns her down she breaks down in tears.
– How is each character threatening the other’s wound?
Having to admit your wound is a terrifying ordeal. Once you have shown your true inner self it is emotional and deep reaching and you run the risk of the one you love, turning away from you, deeping your wound.
Watch 2<sup>nd</sup> time for:
What drama was this scene built around?
The scene was built around the drama of one person suddenly taking a leap through fear to reach a better future, it brings both characters to their most vulnerable.
What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?
Fear, vulnerability, sad emotion / crying, anger, needing to leave or separate.
What I learned rewriting my scene was to make my character far more vulnerable, showing what they think is their emotional weakness where they quite in opposition, show themselves to have strength.
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How is Kate’s secret set up?
Through the words of a dying man, who reveals he wants his cuffs and Kate- the printout of her in his pocket informs Jack she is dangerous.
What causes demand to know what the secret
is?From the first clip, Jack has expressions on his face that show he knows Kate and that this is information he would want confirmed.
From the second clip, leading us down a path of confess and I will while drinking, we learn Kate answers she has killed a man, Sawyer reveals he has also killed a man and curiosity drives the audience to hear it out ‘who did you kill’ ‘ did you both know the other killed’
From the third clip, we see the reason why Kate is driven to her expression of extreme. We see the implied sexual abuse – when the house blows up, we know it is she who has ended her torment.
How is Kate’s secret revealed?
First scene – through the note on Kate, found in the dying man’s pocket –through someone who knows her background
Second scene – through a drinking game, she has had several shots of liquor and answers she has killed a man
Third scene – we have insight into why she did what she did.
What makes Kate’s character great is he decision to eliminate her problem. She doesn’t go for help and drag an audience through moaning and complaining, she blows him up! This gives us the idea that we will watch an extreme character – someone to follow and she what else she will do.
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Week 1 Day 3: Baggar Vance
Junah is right in this role as he has a history of being a winning golfer. Baggar is right as he speaks the truth about what Junah needs to hear and rediscover about himself, in order to return to his talent at golfing. With Baggar as a suitcase carrying “wanderer” we see the juxtaposition of a caddy offering up advice to a supposed professional player.
We understand when a character says they are not what you are, then play impressively, we suddenly see the conflict the player will use to overcome his current weakness. The nonplayer knows enough to instigate attitude in the ‘player’ and hence, the player feels unnerved and takes his swing more seriously. So fun that Baggar walks up the centre of the yard, confident in his statement, that -with the way you are swinging, I knew you couldn’t hit me. This identifies that Baggar has trustworthy info for the golfer and that Baggar sees him differently than how he sees himself.
Drama is built when Baggar suggests the rate the pro golfer is playing at, identifies him as a player who would not be aiming for the $10,000 prize, and instead is seen as a golfer who would be a good bet to pay a caddy a guaranteed 5 dollars.
This shows that Junah sees himself one way but others see him a different way.
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The sarah connor character is great here as we see her behaving effectively, naturally, yet she herself is unaware of her natural abilities This scene allows us to see the infancy of her becoming a great heroine. The character moves the story forward by both asking about her future and pushing against it in her ‘present’.
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Rosemary Lismore
I agree to the terms of this release form
As a member of Writing Incredible Movies, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, through social media, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, videos, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Hello all,
Rosemary 3 time black belt, philosopher, good listener, great cook, good sense of humour, mother of the 2 best daughters on the planet (Yes! But I hope we all say that about our kids). Oh so ready to finish one of my 5 scripts. Looking forward to the daily discipline of these courses to bring out a well conceived, drama induced, intriguing character driven script – or 5.
Looking forward to learning through sharing…
Kindest,
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I wrote a full page on character traits for the 3 characters, wrote out how the drama was created by the writer. I then read what others have posted and learned that what I saw and what they saw in part, was quite different. With this in mind I rewrote my scene more aware of what an audience might glean from my scene.
i concluded that no one was right or wrong, but that we perceive life differently, at different times.
doing the exercise added clarity to what I already knew and boosted my confidence.
Thank you!