[Robert McCord]

Bob McCord’s Action Track

What I know/learned from this assignment is that guys doing paperwork don’t just start shooting, but they have to, and early. Set up and sequence must be quick to magnify conflict and create action. Two tracks, admin and action, have to finally give way to one fast-paced showdown set up by the paperwork. The sequence of the Bourne script was most instructive.

1. Qs for Action Track:

A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally apply in this movie?

Admin hassles and arguments that lead to manipulation and threats, then to shooting, assaults, sabotage, more shootings, more hassles, chase, escape, shootout.

B. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track?

All the above, moving from admin to threats, then shootings, to resolution and death.

C. How can the action start well, build in 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?

Then action really starts with an attempted hit on the Hero and ends with the definite death of the Villain by the Hero. In between the action switches between admin and guns.

2. Select the types of action you’ll use.

A. Chase/Pursuit

B. Fight

C. Shootout

D. Rescue

E. Escape/Evade

F. Competition

G. Dangerous Situations

H. Hassle

I. Threats

J. Sniper shot

K. Leverage of others

3. Sequence the action scenes to deliver your story. Give us your list of action scenes and the purpose of each scene.

1. CHALLENGE: Hero told by in-house experts that the client has no chance to win. Hero picks apart their objections, shows them misreading, how to interpret, better insight, and a real opportunity to win. Purpose: Set up Hero as authority who knows his stuff and can lead them to winning bid.

2. ADVERSARY REACTS: Competitor Villain learns that hero has joined opposition. He begins to fashion counter bid. Purpose: Shows Villain knows of Hero’s skills and danger. Alerts us to conflict.

3. ADMIN HASSLES: Hero encounters difficulties with basic status and authority of badges, clearances, approvals, etc. He makes calls and decisions to resolve. Purpose: Show how Hero takes charge, commands resources, and pushes back against the power of Villain from a long-ago relationship.

4. THE ORDER: Villain realizes this conflict could draw attention to his “wired” opportunity to secure millions. Kill the Hero, now. Purpose: See how Villain is rattled by Hero taking him on, threat of loss, and raises the stakes for the Hero.

5. SNIPER SHOT: Hero meets key expert for first time when they are shot at. Bullet kills expert, Hero hides. Purpose: Elevate tension and threats in competition and to Hero. Must step up defense of self and others.

6. ESCAPE: Hero returns to room for stuff and gun. Calls client to tell him it will take more than words to win. Purpose: We are now beyond just contract competition. Hero has to decide to quit or proceed with stakes now redefined.

7. MORE HASSLES: Death of key expert is a big obstacle to winning. Now police investigation, budget worries, client confusion and fear, community leaders question hiring of Hero. Purpose: Show us how pressure builds, support diminishes, tension mounts as Hero focuses on job and how to stay alive.

8. THREATS: Villain enraged at failed hit on Hero. Telsl the Hero to back off or die. Sends out a new squad of shooters. Purpose: We feel the tension, danger, fear, time running down–and the Villain’s desperation.

9. ASSAULT: Hero shot at again by 2 hitmen. Picks them off, but is wounded, hides, tells other personnel. Purpose: Escalation of violence and pressure. We get reactions from others affected by the project. Fear.

10. HERO FIRED: Client can’t take it anymore. Prospects are bleak; salvage what can, maybe subcontract. Purpose: Stakes are much higher, so is loss. Offer the Hero a way out while still alive.

11. LEVERAGE OF OTHERS: Community leaders rally to provide protection and resources to complete proposal. Purpose: See that all is not lost, but very tenuous. Will effort be enough to win?

12. HERO PICKS OFF MINION: Villain calls in more chits from commanders;they send special ops snipers to finish the job, expecting no resistance. Hero resists, shoots, but can’t continue as defender. Purpose: Audience anxious–how will Hero get to the finish line if they keep distracting/shooting at him?

13. ATTACK: Villain takes charge, but not well. Discovers that Hero has joined forces with community police who have come to arrest Villain. FBI is involved now because of Villain tampering with government contract and personnel. He grabs a weapon and runs for the safety of the base. Purpose: High stakes, high motivations. We see desperation yet resolve of Villain. He could prevail.

14. DANGEROUS SITUATION: What started out as two-man conflict has escalated into combat between stakeholders. People could get killed. But they keep coming. Purpose: Shows us that the stakes got higher not only financially but personally for all the players. Who will reduce the risks?

15. MORE SHOOTERS: Special Ops comes in , police and community members join forces, base police run to stop the intrusion at the fence. Purpose: Escalation, tension, Hero could be overwhelmed.

16. EVADE: Villain makes it onto base with his credentials, but is wounded from the pursuing cops. The police can’t get on base, so Villain has a head start. But Hero can–the administrative hassles resolved with him receiving passes and clearances. Purpose: Tension with insight into both Villain and Hero. They’ve met before. Both determined and all in.

17. SHOOTOUT: The SpOps team has turned on the Villain, under orders the commander has in his hand. They point rifles. He tries to shoot but Hero shoots first, wounds him. Purpose: Can he do it? Hero shoots through his pain; he can’t and won’t fail.

18. HIT: Hero reminds Villain of how he helped Villain win a big contract years ago when they worked together. Did it again this time, not for Villain but for Hero’s brother. Bang. Purpose: Villain’s desperation not as focused as Hero’s resolve. Professionally, Hero won.

[Robert McCord]

Bob McCord’s Villain Track

What I learned from this assignment is that I should view this story through the point of view of the villain who is really driving the narrative. He has more to lose and is more psychologically invested than is the Hero. The villain must show that he is playing all out in varied ways. And I need more time to make this work

A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot. Villain is relying on his superior capability to secure a contract; he expects it is “wired” for his corporation. When he learns that an unlikely competitor has now become formidable with the Hero on board, he moves forcefully to develop a plan to eliminate any chance the Hero will prevail.

B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero? He can prevent him with administrative obstacles like no access, denied security clearance, challenges to eligibility and qualifications of personnel and experts and so on. Mainly he can attack with military sniper, arrests, hitmen, special ops troops, and some in-town connections who shoot big guns.

C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can he exploit that in this movie? He is shrewd, in charge, connected, and able to control military, police, commercial, and other forces that make him an overwhelming adversary for any competitor. He has the power and the ego.

D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain in which he pays for what he has done? Loss of contract, status, and his own sense of self as all-powerful. Being denied, being a loser, then unable to prevent being dead.

In the moment plan: Villain had no worries until he discovers the Hero has signed on with an unlikely competitor. Now he’s concerned, and possibly threatened.

Mistake: Villain knows Hero’s smarts and capabilities as well as the competitor’s few but vital advantages. The combination causes Villain to insult and threaten Hero from winning the contract. But the hero reminds him of their past antagonism and his dead brother. There’s nothing more to say.

Dilemma: Villain can’t create a threatening environment with the Pentagon and community looking on, yet he can’t ignore how a smart, shrewd Hero could out-fox him. He has to move fast to stop the Hero.

Decision: Kill him now. Taps his connections to implement a military plan. Focuses on making sure the proposal is still solid. What is the competitor doing?

Plan-send the shooter: He sends a novice sharpshooter from the base to kill Hero while he’s having a breakfast meeting with an expert at a local hotel. The kid shoots the expert. Hero injured.

React: Villain outraged that a simple, cheap solution failed. Yet the loss of an expert is a real problem for his competitor. Try again to eliminate Hero.

Plan–bigger force: Villain calls in more chits from commanders;they send special ops snipers to finish the job, expecting no resistance.

Restless response: Villain gets word that Pentagon realizes benefits of competitor proposal. The threat of unexpected loss is real. Villain decides he must run things, eliminating the Hero himself.

Attack: Villain takes charge, but not well. Discovers that Hero has joined forces with community police who have come to arrest Villain. FBI is involved now because of Villain tampering with government contract and personnel. He grabs a weapon and runs for the safety of the base.

Escape: Villain makes it onto base with his credentials, but is wounded from the pursuing cops. The police can’t get on base, so Villain has a head start. But Hero can–the administrative hassles resolved with him receiving passes and clearances.

Fitting Ending: The SpOps team has turned on the Villain, under orders the commander has in his hand. They point rifles. He tries to shoot but Hero shoots first, wounds him. Reminds Villain of how he helped Villain win a big contract years ago when they worked together. Did it again this time, not for Villain but for Hero’s brother. Bang.

[Robert McCord]

Bob McCord’s Hero’s Mission Track

I learned that there’s big value in seeing one story track at a high level to identify the flow and the holes; that I need more time to keep coming at the bad questions/cliches to get a great one; and that the whole thing, end to end, remains an open question.

Ask the Mission Track Qs:

What is it about this hero that will have him go straight into the face of overwhelming odds? He wants the opportunity more than he is afraid of any threats that are likely to come at him from the man that killed his brother. He knows he will be hassled, threatened, maybe shot at or worse. But the stakes are worth it, the client is desperate, and the consequences of losing are devastating to the community.

What is the mission that would be an impossible goal? He and his small business client are up against a deadly villain who commands everything and won’t tolerate the loss of millions. How can anyone win against an adversary that is the largest defense contractor with Pentagon favor, political, banking, and industry might aligned against him?

What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero? Internal–Defeat long-time opponent and killer, regain/burnish his shaky reputation, get past-due bonus, new fee, and follow-on business. External–Establish his client as a competent defense supplier and economically rescue the base-dependent community.

Imagine the mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen if this hero went on this mission against the villain? Taking on the consulting job under strained relations, surviving a shooting by “someone,” dealing with revoked security clearance and access, police disbelieving his story and role, returning fire from 2 guys who attack him, losing a key technical expert, some hitman taking another shot, killing that guy, being arrested, learning of contract award, enraged villain sends the posse, blazing; explaining the better solution that denied villain the win, blasting him once for trying to eliminate hero and once again for killing his brother.

Hero’s Clear Mission: Get the money for client and himself by beating the competition while avenging the death of his brother.

Motivation: A capable business, strained for revenue, needs help to secure a contract that will ensure its survival. Hero takes it on and sees the chance to get back at the guy who killed his brother in a long-ago “accident.” He’s got the smarts and the confidence and the memory.

Inciting Incident: Hero is hassled with delays and denials to the info he needs. No one knows why. Then someone takes a shot during his first meeting with a key expert.

First Action: He suspects an old adversary with whom he once worked. He knows the attacks will only increase. He has to turn a skeptical base policeman into an ally. Mission: cause some pain.

Obstacle: Distrust and disbelief by those he encounters. Client not sure they should retain him. Cops at all levels are skeptical of his claims. He is under pressure to perform and avoid playing cop and investigator.

Escalation: Two other shooters come at him at night. He kills both and takes their sidearms, leaving the rifles. Next day is devoted entirely to the proposal and it is shaping up to be a loser.

Overwhelming Odds: Another key expert has to depart the proposal team and there’s talk of abandoning the quest. A “hitman” fails to take out hero who forces him to tell what little the hitman knows about the plan to eliminate competition. Hero figures out the rest and kills hitman.

New Plan: Assembles the forces he can to keep the proposal on track, devising new solutions based on experts’ input. At the same time lure the opposing forces into an ambush.

Full out Attack: At a “fake” win party, the villain and managers think they’re going to celebrate, but learn that they have in fact lost the contract. The cops are gathering to take them to jail. The enraged villain gives the order and all firearms flash. Hero shoots villain once, but he scoots away. Hero catches him, tells him of the hero’s better proposed solution, reminds him of his dead brother, and shoots him again, dead.

Success: Hero watches acolonel and the client sign the contract. His phone texts fill up with congrats and offers. Stores in town display “We’re STILL HERE sale!” over full parking lots.

[Robert McCord]

Bob McCord’s Hero and Villain

What I learned doing this assignment is that I have to coalesce tension on two fronts, business maneuvering and desperate violence, within the world of business competition, while escalating the action.

Concept: A whip-smart business consultant can secure a huge military contract to save his underdog client and the community that depends economically on that corporation and the local base.

Hero morally right: He plays by the rules yet pushes hard to overcome the stronger competitors who don’t. He knows he can be the linchpin to preserve economic livelihoods and his own reputation.

Villain morally wrong: Long-time contractor doesn’t care about the rules as long as he bribes, manipulates, and kills to feed his greed; plus, he’s cheap, smart, and unto himself.

Hero and his:

Unique skill set: Knows the ins-and-outs of winning government money and has come up against the cheats and cons in this business. He’s smart, hard-driving, resourceful, and connected; he’s also a small arms expert who can eliminate foes with two shots.

Motivation: Uses his brains to turn a company’s prospects to success for money, reputation, and more opportunities. He likes being people’s best hope.

Wound: Humiliation over a long ago loss to the same adversary who accidentally on purpose killed his brother.

Villain:

Unbeatable: He commands and manipulates employees and base personnel who depend on him for current and ongoing jobs. He is the epitome of the military-industrial complex. He gets what he wants.

Plan/goal: Knows how contracts are awarded, does whatever it takes to game the system to win, qualified or not. An award here sets him up for more influence, follow-on contracts, and more personal wealth.

What loses if hero survives: Contract/money, plans for grandeur, pride/status/identity, dependence of and power over all around him. Big personal defeat.

Impossible mission:

Puts hero in action: He realizes what he anticipated–-under cover of contract competition he must pick off the inside saboteurs/hit men who want him not only to lose but to get dead.

Demands he go beyond his best: He’s not just defending a contract, he has to rely on his marksman skills to eliminate those who want to defeat him, his client, and people’s future.

Destroy the villain: Finalize the proposal so that his client wins the contract, the villain is exposed for what he is, and in his rage, the villain seeks out the hero to destroy him. But hero outsmarts him one last time, killing him with two shots.

My improved answers:

The villain is likable and thrives on the adulation, so he’s not entirely unsympathetic.

The hero builds his own counterforce of determined employees.

The hero can’t just shoot the villain; villain has to know at his core that he has lost, dies.

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[Robert McCord]

Bob McCord’s conventions

What I learned doing this assignment: Transforming a character from everyday
everyman into resourceful hero without cliche is gonna be tough.

Concept: A contracts expert has to save the company and his own life when unknown business rivals want him dead.

Highly skilled hero: Business consultant who knows how to win huge military contracts.

Mission: Company hires him to beat competition for weapons programs that will save company and community–and bring him big bucks.

Demand for action: Routine assignment becomes difficult choice: Company can’t win without him and if he stays for the money he could wind up dead.

Antagonist: Relentless VP with ties to the Pentagon and mysterious connections to ‘the money men’ and something else.

Escalating action: He’s shot at, fired, declared a security risk, and more as he keeps finding a way to prevail.

[Robert McCord]

Bob McCord

I agree to the terms of this release form.

[Robert McCord]

Hello to you all,

I’m Bob McCord of Tucson, AZ.

I’ve written two scripts and have four more I’d like to do soon and better.

I’m in this course because I want to expand my thinking and skills on what works, what sells, and what’s ahead.

I’ve conducted corporate training programs around the world, from down under Australia to down under the stands of a Trinidad cricket stadium (the pitch was empty or I’d have had no students!)