Scott Billings
Forum Replies Created
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What I learned: this helped narrow down what details to put in–and what to leave out–in an elevator pitch.
1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.
A hurricane forces a newlywed couple to spend their wedding night in the motel from hell.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Goal/Unique Opposition
A newlywed couple is forced to spend their wedding night with criminals, prostitutes and a serial killer dressed as a clown.3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
I’m working on a comedy called HONEYMOON WITH STRANGERS, which is about a couple forced to spend their wedding night with criminals, prostitutes and a serial killer dressed as a clown.
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Pitch for HONEYMOON WITH STRANGERS
Talk about a wedding night to remember.
New Yorkers Ben and Claire Crawford are headed for a dream honeymoon when their flight is suddenly canceled by a fast-moving hurricane. With the city shut down, the only place they can find refuge is the Riviera Motel…
A hangout for criminals, prostitutes and psychos.
Ben and Claire are threatened, robbed and nearly killed — and that’s before they even check in. Then they have to tangle with mobsters, Russian spies and a predatory sex addict who turns out to be the state’s governor.
Then the lights go out.
In the darkness, the newlyweds discover uncomfortable truths about each other — and begin to doubt their marriage. But when they’re captured by a serial killer named “Dennis,” he convinces them that they belong together.
Too bad he’s about to kill them.
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10 most interesting things…
A hurricane ruins Ben and Claire’s honeymoon plans
The only motel room they can get has a dead body in it.
Claire finds Ben lost his job and is heavily in debt
Ben finds out Claire slept with her ex-husband recently.
A predatory sex addict turns out to be the state governor.
A clown/psychiatrist turns out to be a serial killer
Claire and Ben are kidnapped by the serial killer
Ben and Claire discuss their marital problems with the serial killer
They escape by going outside into the hurricane.
The night clerk saves Ben and Claire from the serial killer.What I learned: helps you focus on the real hooks in the story.
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Answer two questions:
1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer? I’d tell them I’d do what it takes to get the movie made.
2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager? I’d tell them that I’ll do what it takes to become a professional screenwriter, including rewrites and coming up with new ideas.
3. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?” It clarified the different ways you talk to producers and managers.
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I agree to the terms of this agreement.
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1. HONEYMOON WITH STRANGERS — A newlywed couple’s relationship is put to the test when a hurricane forces them to spend their wedding night in an airport motel with criminals, prostitutes and a serial killer/psychiatrist named “Dennis.”
2. A. It’s a unique situtation and B. Great Title . G and I. Similar to DATE NIGHT, which was successful and appealed to men and women 25 and older.
3. I whittled down the logline to its essential uniqueness was highlighted.
HONEYMOON WITH STRANGERS — A hurricane forces a couple to spend their wedding night with criminals, prostitutes and a serial killer/psychiatrist dressed as a clown.
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1. action comedy called FLYING BIND about a man terrified of flying who finds himself alone on a private jet at 20,000 feet after the pilots drop dead.
2. It’s a unique concept and has lots of twists and turns.
3. Managers, to get access to producers not available to me.
4. Answer the question “What I learned today is…?”
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title is actually FLYING BLIND (typo).
4. I learned that even though the script is marketable, I need a better written pitch.
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1. Scott Billings
2. 12 scripts
3. Find a manager
4. My background is a business journalist for print and TV. -
DIRTY TRICKS–A principled but politicaly naive businesswoman is elected governor over her corrupt rival, then discovers her staff rigged the vote to make sure she won.
Genre: Comedy/drama
Comps: WAG THE DOG meets DAVE
LayeringMark, who orchestrates the cheating, is actually working for Malcolm
Someone Hides Who They Are
Mark, Abby’s campaign manager, actually works for her rival, Gov. Sanders and undermines her from within.
Sanders pretends to be nice to Abby but is secretly undermining her
The Fish Out of Water
Abby is honest and confident in business but tentative in politics
Superior Position
We know that Sanders is undermining Abby while being nice to her face.
A Major Cover Up
Abby has to stay silent about the election fraud or risk going to jail.
Competitive Agendas
Abby and Sanders battle each other to become governor.
Abby is often in the dark about what’s going on, but when she finds out about the cheating, she doesn’t know what to do. This will play off her fears that she’s in over her head despite being smarter than her rival Sanders.
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Tell us your concept and your choice of one or two of these Subtext Plots.
A by-the-book assistant DA discovers the woman he’s about to marry is living under an assumed name and wanted for murder.
Scheme and Investigation
David does an investigation into Emily’s background, finally discovering that she’s wanted for murder.
Layering
Emily has a “go bag” and a gun in her apartment. We later learn that she is a fugitive and running from an abusive husband.
Someone Hides Who They Are
Emily pretends to be an innocent schoolteacher when in reality she’s wanted for murder.
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Title: FUGITIVE BRIDE
Concept: A straight-laced assistant DA discovers the woman he’s about to marry is living under an assumed name and wanted for murder.
Genre: comedy
Character: David Mitchell, protagonist
Logline: David is a straight-laced, cautious assistant DA who wants to stay in his comfort zone but is constantly being forced out of it.
Unique: He is the last person who would want to be engaged to a fugitive. He also has an obligation to arrest her.
Character: Emily Williams, protagonist
Logline: She is a fugitive accused of a murder that was committed by her psychopath husband, Chaz Murdoch
Unique: She also seeks security like David but is constantly getting into perilous situations.
Character: Chaz Murdoch, antagonist (triangle character)
Logline: Chaz is a murderous ex-military who tricked Emma into marrying him and then murdered her most recent boyfriend and pinned the blame on her.
Unique: He will do anything to possess her
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Title: FUGITIVE BRIDE
Concept: A by-the-book assistant DA discovers the woman he’s about to marry is living under an assumed name and wanted for murder.
Character Structure: romantic triangle
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1. Name? Scott Billings
2. How many scripts you’ve written? 9
3. What you hope to get out of the class? Retaking class to learn more about AI
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? I worked as a business journalist before writing scripts full-time.
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1. Scott Billings
2. “I agree to the terms of this release form.”
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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1. Scott Billings
2. 11 scripts.
3. Hope to learn the conventions of action screenplays
4. My 23-year-old daughter is also an aspiring screenwriter.
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1. Scott Billlings
2. I agree to the terms of the release form.
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Scott Billings 4-Act Structure
What I learned: It took me a while to get the hang of this because I’m used to the 3-act structure. But it really helped me organize the story and figure out where and when to put in the turning points.
Concept: A suicidal cop has one day to convince an alien not to destroy the human race.
Main Conflict: Cop has to stop an alien from killing the human race
Old Ways: jaded, suicidal, in despair
New Ways: optimistic, wise, confidentFill in each of these with the answers you have right now.
Act 1:
Opening: Mike Spivak and his partner Ray DeSantos respond to a domestic dispute in the Bronx.
Inciting Incident: Ray is killed by the estranged husband. Mike returns fire and accidentally kills the wife when the husband pulls her in front of him as a shield. The husband claims he was just defending himself and that Mike killed his wife to avenge his partner’s death. Mike is suspended and vilified in the press. He faces murder charges.
Turning point: Mike prepares to kill himself, then sees a homeless vet being beaten by thugs. He saves the homeless man, who turns out to be an alien spirit named Damien.
Act 2:
New plan: Damien tells Mike that he can change his life by looking at the world differently. Mike thinks he’s just another crazy vet.
Mike takes Damien back to his apartment. Damien knows everything about Mike’s life: his sense of loss over losing his partner Ray; his ex-wife and daughter living in Texas; his frustration at trying to be a good cop but society is too corrupt to let him.
Damien tells Mike everything that’s about to happen, proving that he has extraordinary powers. But Damien is also a heroin addict, so his body feels the pain that regular humans do.
Plan in action: Mike tries to defend himself in the shooting but just makes things worse. He visits the estranged husband to talk him into telling the truth but is rebuked.
Midpoint Turning Point: Husband burns his kids alive, then shoots himself. Mike falls into despair over the evil in men. Damien suggests maybe all of humanity is better off dead. He gives Mike until sunrise the following morning to convince him not to destroy the human race.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Mike struggles all day and night with a reason to save Earth. But he can’t think of a good reason. He roams the city looking at all human activities with a different eye. Everything is fragile. So temporary. Nothing lasts.
New plan: At sunrise, he is sitting in central park, contemplating the world and all its wonders. Damien appears. Mike says there are a million logical reasons why people should exist, but he can’t give one single one that will encompass everything and make sense.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
Damien agrees and creates catastrophes all over the world: hurricanes, tornadoes, tidal waves, forest fires and volcanic eruptions. Humanity will be destroyed by the very Earth that allowed it to live.
Act FOUR
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict
The natural catastrophes worsen. People are dying everywhere. The apocalypse has finally come. Mike watches this with anger and tells Damien to stop. Finally, Mike tells Damien to kill him instead. Don’t let other people die because of me.
Resolution
Damien stops the destruction of Earth and Mike prepares to die. But instead of killing Mike, Damien says he’s shown him why humanity should survive: they have the capacity to care more about others than themselves. It is that quality that separates people from all other living creatures in the universe. Mike first showed it when he stopped trying to kill himself and went to aid Damien.
Damien then tells Mike that he will leave the body of the homeless vet. His mission to Earth is done. Mike is left with a new appreciation for life and his role in it.
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Scott Billings
What I learned: This really helps you see how many layers you can put in a story.
Tell us your concept and your choice of one or two of these Subtext Plots.
DOOMSDAY–A suicidal cop is given one day to convince an alien planning to destroy Earth that humanity is worth saving.
Scheme and Investigation
Mike tries to find out who Damien really is.
Layering
Damien is really on Earth to decide if humanity is worth saving
Someone Hides Who They Are
Damien is really an alien living in the body of a homeless veteran.
The Fish Out of Water
Mike is dealing with things well beyond his normal life and comprehension.
Superior Position
We and Mike know who Damien really is, but nobody believes him
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Scott Billings
What I learned: This helped me decide which concept to write. The main character clearly goes on a transformational journey. The other two concepts had less potential for that.
DOOMSDAY–A suicidal cop is given one day to convince an alien planning to destroy the Earth that humanity is worth saving.
Tell us the Character Arc for your Protagonist: Mike Spivak
Arc Beginning: burned-out, suicidal cop
Arc Ending: enlightened, hopeful and accepting
3. Give us their Internal/External Journey.
Internal Journey: From suicidal cop to enlightened and hopeful
External Journey: From jaded cop to saving humanity
4. Tell us their Old Ways at the beginning of the movie and their New Ways at the end.
Old Ways:
Angry about the death of his partner
Frustrated at perverted justice system
Bitter at being abused by others
Ready to kill himself
New Ways:Sees the value of livingMore empathetic with othersSees the bigger picture in human existenceNo longer is bothered by what others think.
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Scott Billings lead characters
What I learned: focusing on what makes the characters unique really helped flesh out the story.
1. KILLER DATE–A homicide detective goes on a hookup app to track down a woman who kills cheating husbands—then finds out it’s his ex-wife.
PROTAGONIST
Character: Harry Bannon is lonely, divorced homicide detective who goes on a hookup app.
Logline: Harry Bannon goes on a hookup app to catch a woman who kills cheating husbands.
Unique: Harry would rather find love with his former partner Angela than catch the killer, so he’s conflicted.
ANTAGONIST
Character: Meg Bannon is Harry’s ex-wife and a former police psychologist who treats women with cheating husbands.
Logline: Meg Bannon kills cheating husbands and tries to put the blame on Angela for ruining her marriage to Harry.
Unique: She’s an expert on women with cheating husbands, so she knows what husbands to go after.
TRIANGLE CHARACTER
Character: Angela Delgado is Harry’s former partner who slept with him one drunken night and still has feelings for him.
Logline: Angela Delgado is suspected of killing cheating husbands but actually wants to get back together with Harry.
Unique: She’s the suspect but is actually the only one who wants a legit relationship.
2. DOOMSDAY–A suicidal cop is given one day to convince an alien planning to destroy the Earth that humanity is worth saving.
Protagonist
Character: Mike Spivak is a burned-out suicidal cop who’s seen the worst of humanity.
Logline: Mike is a suicidal cop who has to convince an alien not to destroy the human race.
Unique: His jaded view of humanity makes him the last person to argue that people should be spared.
Antagonist
Character: Damien is a heroin-addicted homeless veteran who is actually a spirit from another world.
Logline: Damien forces Mike to change his view of humanity in order to save Earth’s population.
Unique: A homeless vet who is actually an alien sent to destroy Earth. humanity.
3. FUGITIVE BRIDE–An assistant district attorney discovers that the woman he’s about to marry is living under an assumed name and wanted for murder.
PROTAGONIST
Character: Ben Mackler is an assistant DA in a small midwestern city.
Logline: Ben Mackler finds out that his schoolteacher fiance is actually living under an assumed name and wanted for murder.
Unique: Ben is faced with arresting and prosecuting his future wife.
ANTAGONIST
Character: Mary Lyall, a schoolteacher who turns out to be a former FBI agent Maria Ramos living under witness protection.
Logline: Mary Lyall wants to have a normal life but her past keeps coming back to haunt her.
Unique: Mary appears to be a meek schoolteacher but is actually a tough ex-FBI agent
TRIANGLE CHARACTER
Character: Bernardo Lopez is a drug kingpin who wants to kill Mary for betraying him.
Logline: Bernardo Lopez tracks down Mary and plans to kill her at her wedding.
Unique: He’s a tough drug kingpin but still pines for Mary
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Scott Billings Concepts
I have two other concepts that I want to outline. Still haven’t decided which one to do:
FUGITIVE BRIDE–An assistant district attorney discovers that the woman he’s about to marry is living under an assumed name and wanted for murder.
comedy
character structure: romantic triangle
EARTH’S FATE—A suicidal cop has one day to convince an alien not to destroy the human race.
drama
character structure: antagonist v protagonist
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Scott Billings concept
KILLER DATE–A homicide detective goes on a hookup app to track down a woman who kills cheating husbands—then finds out it’s his ex-wife.
comedy/thriller
protagonist vs antagonist
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1. Scott Billings
2. “I agree to the terms of this release form.”
3. Please leave the entire text below to confirm what you agree to.
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Hi Everyone
1. Scott
2. About 10 scripts
3. Pro Series and Master Class
4. Learn to layer scripts more easily and fix problems in outline form
5. I started out writing plays, several of which were workshopped in New York. Moved over to feature film about 10 years ago.