Scott Kaplan
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Scott Kaplan’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is … the horror outline provides a structure to your scene selection. This has been the most challenging assignment, thus far. I concur with Cameron–exhausting process to sequence the order of events–but a necessary part of the process.
1. EXT. RESIDENTIAL(SEMINOLE) STREET – NIGHT
A man (Jean) is taking the garbage out to the curb, directly above the sewers. As he opens the lid …
2. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – NIGHT
He hears a noise. Two men (Piper and Clen) appear, their eyes blackening with oozing oil … as sharp claws remove the sewer grate. Jean is dragged down, as the tide rises, along with a dense fog. He disappears.
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation: A man is swallowed up by something.
APPREHENSION: He walks to the curb with some concern.
FEAR: He hears a suspicious noise, turns to see … eyes oozing with black oil.
SUSPENSE: Jean is dragged down, as the high tide washes away the blood on the street.
3. EXT. – SEMINOLE STRRET – DAY
Jean’s son and his friend, Duke, are hanging out in a treehouse.
4. EXT. – HOUSE NEXT DOOR – SAME
Stacy (the third member of the cult) is building a deck. He overhears the kids. The whites of his eyes turn black. The bright sky turns dark. The winds pick up, knocking them to the ground.
5. INT/EXT SEWERS – SAME
Fog rises u from beneath the sewer grates. Unseen entities snatch the ankles of the 8-year-olds. Max witnesses the end of this horrific event.
Horror Situation: Young children are taken into the abyss.
APPREHENSION: Jean and Duke are isolated targets.
FEAR: Why are they targeted, then snatched?
CREEPY MOMENT: Stacy’s black eyes, summoning evil.
PANIC: Kids terrified, helplessly screaming.
HORROR: Max is horrified as the children are taken by ‘something underground.’
6. INT. CLEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Clen’s wife finds out that her son, Duke, has disappeared. She tells Clen she’s going to the sheriff.
7. EXT. – CLEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
She is walking to her car when she sees a ghastly white image rise up from the sewer. Clen has summoned the evil that lurks underground. Her throat is sliced, severing her head.
8. INT/EXT SEWER – SAME
Her head rolls into the dirty canal water, as she collapses to the ground.
Horror Situation: Clen must stop his wife from going to the authorities.
ANXIETY: Clen’s wife feels anxiety. she wants to find her son.
SURPRISE: Clen stops her by summoning the ‘undead spirits.’
PANIC/HYSTERIA: She sees the spirits rising up, paralyzed with FEAR.
MONSTER REVEAL: Audience gets their first glimpse of the creatures that have been killing.
9. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – DAY
Shwin is riding her bicycle. She stops to talk to Max. he invites her in to talk.
10. INT. MAX’S HOUSE – SAME
He confides what he’s seen. Unexplainable murders and disappearances. Shwin suggests they start a “neighborhood watch.” Max concurs; it’s a smart idea. He trusts her, but very few others in this small town consisting of 2 square miles. He suggests that they give the pastor, Father Bob, a visit in the near future. She nods.
NOTE: THIS IS A NON-HORROR SCENE
11. INT. CHURCH – SUNDAY
Father Bob is giving another insightful sermon to the church goers. Max and Shwin wait in the back pew. They wait until the church clears out to talk to Father Bob.
12. INT. CHURCH – SAME
Max and Shwin follow Father Bob to a private room. They explain what they’ve seen. Max divulges what he’s seen Stacy do. Shwin adds that she’s seen Piper and Clen up to no good. Father Bob doesn’t believe them. He says he’s known them too long for them to commit these heinous crimes. Max shakes his head in disbelief. Shwin grabs his arm. They exit.
Horror Situation: Max and Shwin want the pastor to help them go up against what they believe to be a cult summoning spirits from underground.
APPREHENSION: The pastor is reluctant to get involved.
SURPRISE: Max is surprised Father Bob denies their request.
FEAR: Perhaps, Father Bob is afraid to get involved.
ANGUISH: Max is distraught over the pastor’s refusal to help
13. INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
As fate would have it, Stacy visits Father Bob. He confesses his sins. He fears that if he doesn’t comply, Piper and Clen will dispose of him. He tells Father Bob of the cult’s transgressions, but is having a “crisis of conscience.” Father Bob agrees to absolve him, but only if he turns himself in.
14. INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Stacy starts to explain what he and his cohorts have done.
15. EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – SAME
Piper has been using binoculars from a distance. Now, he and Clen close in.
16. INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE -SAME
Piper and Clen enter. Stacy looks scared, but so does the sheriff–he’s been left alone, while his deputies are out. Clen grabs Piper and takes him outside. Piper orders that the sheriff invoke a “lockdown” on the town … or else his family will face the same consequences as those whom have disappeared. The sheriff obliges.
Horror Situation: The sheriff is afraid to go up against the cult. Stacy is taken hostage.
APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: The sheriff has anxiety over threat of his family.
FEAR: He is scared to confront Piper and Clen.
DREAD: He is torn, but decides he must follow Piper’s orders, even if it results in the deaths of many innocent townies.
17. EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Clen and Piper have tied up and bound Stacy for betraying them.
18. EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
Piper and Clen have taken Stacy to an abandoned area in the woods. They remove the blindfold. Stacy sees that a grave has been dug. He pleads for his life. He begs Clen to spare him, that they all grew up together in the harbor. Piper clobbers him from behind with a shovel. Stacy is thrown into the grave, still slightly conscious. He is buried alive, just like the original settlers in the 1800s. We will discover the truth soon …
Horror Situation: Clen and Piper sacrifice Stacy for his betrayal.
ANXIETY: Stacy is not sure what they will do to him.
FEAR: Stacy is terrified when he sees the grave. He feels DREAD.
PANIC: Stacy is thrown into the grave.
TERROR: He is semi-conscious but aware he’s being buried alive.
19. INT. CHURCH – DAY
With the town locked down, Max returns to the church. He implores Father Bob to perform an exorcism on the cult. The pastor agrees that it may work.
20. EXT. CHURCH – DUSK
Father Bob appears to be successful in summoning the undead spirits to turn on the cult.
21. EXT. CHURCH – SAME
Piper and Clen prove too strong for the courageous pastor. Their eyes begin to drip with black oil. The spirits listen to the cult’s wishes. Father Bob is spliced in half, then fed to the undead spirits, who have now risen up to wreak havoc.
22. EXT. TOWN – MOMENTS LATER
Townies attempt to flee the small town … only to discover it’s been locked down by the sheriff. Chaos ensues, as cars stop short, crashes abound.
Horror Situation: Clen and Piper prove too powerful for anyone to stop them.
APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: Innocent men, women and children are paralyzed by FEAR.
SHOCK: When Father Bob is slaughtered, Max and Shwin are stunned. They retreat.
PANIC: People are scrambling to get away, but they are isolated/trapped. No one gets in, no one gets out.
HYSTERIA: Townies are screaming hysterically as many are being tortured/killed.
23. INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE
Max and Shwin convince the sheriff to lift the lockdown.
24. EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE
Shwin takes Max by the hand, and tells him to go with her if he wants to live. They run, just as the sheriff is mutilated.
25. INT. SHACK – MIDDLE OF NIGHT
Shwin begins to explain that the original settlers are ancestors of hers. She holds up a finger, marks a circle on the wall. Flashing lights as she shows Max the horrific truth …
FLASHBACK … shows ancestors of the cult are responsible for the extinction of the Marsapeaques … 154 years ago. Max sees the builders blowing up American Indians. They were buried alive. Images of decaying flesh. Hence, Seminole Street is a Native American Indian Burial Ground. The “undead spirits” have been enslaved to the ancestors of the cult since the 1860s, all for the purpose of rebuilding their own town. Piper, Clen and the recently deceased Stacy are all descendants of the builders.
INT. SHACK – SAME
Max is thrust back to reality with a knock at the door. He motions to Shwin to open the door, as he holds a sawed-off shot gun. He aims it at the door.
26. EXT SHACK (POV FROM OUTSIDE)
Shwin opens the door. A few people from a faction known as the “revolt against the cult” are staring down the barrel. Max lowers the gun. He motions to let them in.
27. INT. SHACK – SAME
They are barely alive. Their flesh is mangled; some are missing limbs. Max explains Shwin’s history lesson. She explains there may be a strategy to outsmart the cult. She must show her Marsapeaquen descendants the visual truth of what happened to them, using her power of telepathy. This could free them from their enslaved curse.
Horror Situation:
APPREHENSION: Shwin is tentative for FEAR it won’t work.
SURPRISE: Max is stunned by this revelation that Shwin is part Native American.
PANIC: Shwin is afraid this plan could backfire and get her and Max killed.
28. INT. SHACK – SAME
Max and Shwin realize that the people they let in have bled out. The front door from the shack blows off from the heavy winds. They exit onto …
29. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – SAME
Max looks up at a full moon which brightens the war zone. A tropical storm is rolling in with the high tide. The dirty salt water is coming from the canals, and up through the sewers. He implores her to use whatever power she has to command the undead spirits to turn on the cult. She closes her eyes, as a flash of light stuns the ghosts.
30. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET
Shwin telepathically shows her long ago ancestors that they, the Marsapeaques, were the original settlers. These decayed looking creatures can now see images of their young selves from centuries ago. Suddenly, the street splits open, freeing the rest of the Native Americans. They rise up to kill Piper and Clen. The cult is vanquished, being torn limb-from-limb. The “undead spirits” can now finally rest in peace.
Horror Situation: The town is under siege. Shwin must stop the hysteria.
SUSPENSE: Will Shwin’s mental telepathy work on the spirits?
PANIC: Even if Shwin is successful, can the spirits defeat the cult?
RELEASE: Balance and equilibrium are restored in the small community.
31. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – DAWN
The endgame which started at dusk has concluded at dawn. The fog has passed. It’s a beautiful sunrise. Max and Shwin embrace, then kiss for the first time. A car passes by. Manfred Mann’s classic is playing. Max smiles and tells her that she is “The Mighty Shwin.”
32. EXT. STREET – SAME
Shwin starts to fade, like a ghost. Max grabs for her hand, as it slips through.
33. INT. EXT. SEWER
A hand reaches up through the sewer where the grates dislodged. Shwin is being pulled down, as Max grabs her hand. Again, it slips through, as she disappears into the dark abyss.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Scott Kaplan’s Scary-As-Hell-Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is … how valuable a “Horror Map” can be in outlining the sequence of scenes … I utilized prior lessons to write the “scene arc.” It’s probable that I will change the scene in the re-write, but I wanted to access a sequence that takes us from the end of End of Act 2, and ends during the Climax scene in Act 3. I am unsure if this works, but as writers we must think “outside the box.” A difficult endeavor for me …
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End of Act 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN – EXORCISM
EXT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Father Bob has already heard Stacy’s confession — that he is a reluctant member of the cult. As Stacy has been brutally executed earlier by Piper and Clen in the woods, the pastor listens to Max and Shwin. He agrees to perform an exorcism on the cult. Father Bob is successfully able to summon the spirits, attempting to ‘free’ them of being cursed and enslavened to perfrom the cult’s dirty deeds. He thinks the exorcism is successful, that the cult can now be taken out by the undead spirits; there is sense of anxiety. A sense of release, as Max and Shwin breathe a sigh of relief … just as Father Bob is spliced in half! They are in shock.
EXT. TOWN – MOMENTS LATER
As people attempt to escape the small town, they are scared. The fear of isolation engulfs men, women and children because they discover the roadblocks. They are under lockdown. the pursuit of their souls causes a sense of dread. Impending doom … they are trapped! Fog rises from the sewers; people disappear … Panic ensues …
INT. SHACK – SAME
Shwin confides to Max … he nods, then steps aside as … the front door of the abandoned shack blows off from the rising winds, as a tidal storm rollls in with the dense fog. She holds up her arms, light glows from her beautiful eyes. She shows her ancestors that they, the Marsapeaques, are the origianl settlers that were “buried alive” by builders whom destroyed them 154 years ago …
FLASHBACK …IMAGES of decaying flesh, as the Marsapeaques are blown up by greedy builders, for the purpose of taking over the land.
EXT. SHACK -SEMINOLE STREET – SAME
Seminole Street is a Native American Indian Burial Ground … it splits open, freeing the Native Americans … They rise up to kill the remaining members of the cult, who enslavened them for 154 years. The “undead spirits” can finally rest. Balance and equilibrium is restored in the small community. There is a release from the tension that has infested this town …
EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – DAWN
Max and Shwin awaken in an embrace. They kiss for the first time as … Shwin starts to fade, almost a ghost of her self–as she is pulled down–Max grabs her hand, as it slips through. She is pulled into the foggy abyss. Anguish.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Scott Kaplan’s Scares, Releases, and Creepy Moments!
What I learned doing this assignment is … to intercut scenes that occurred at the same juncture, just a different location. My goal was to weave the scares and creepy moments into the same timeline, then provide a release.
SCENE
EXT. TOWN – DUSK
Dick Sheriffs has imposed a “lockdown” on the tiny town(2 mile radius). Every man, woman and child are SCARED. They do not feel safe –terrified they will be next … as the “undead spirits” rise up from the smelly sewers during low tide, along with a dense fog. Images of decaying flesh are disturbing as darkness falls. Seminole Street has a repellant feeling of CREEPINESS.
INTERCUT TO : As chaos ensues, Piper and Clen have lured the reluctant cult member, Stacy, to an isolated area in the woods. Fog has overtaken this town, making it difficult to see just how gruesome his murder is. Another CREEPY MOMENT, as he is buried alive … just like the Native American Marsapeaques in 1868. The symmetry is undeniable.
EXT. SUNRISE
Spirits have killed the evil cult members. This sets up to be the calm before the storm. Max and Shwin retreat to perceived safety. They feel a RELEASE as they embrace just before … Shwin is dragged down by an unknown entity into the abyss.
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Scott Kaplan’s Level 3 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment was … to create the most intense fear in Act III. There needs to be varying levels of horror emotions. I did my best to build on the emotions of Acts I and II. It’s challenging because many of these emotions can appear in all acts.
INT. CHURCH – CONFESSIONAL – DAY
Stacy, a reluctant member of the cult, discovers that his ancestors were responsible for numerous Native Americans being buried alive. He expresses his regrets to Father Bob.
INTERCUT: Shwin is giving Max a history lesson. A flashback shows the massacre in the 1860’s – the suffering of the Marsapeaques – she is a descendent of the tribe blown up and buried alive, just so the contractors could build their own town.
CUT TO: Stacy finishes his confession. Unbeknownst to him, Clen and Piper are waiting outside. Stacy plans to join Max and Shwin, a.k.a., the “Revolt Against The Cult.” His plans are thwarted, as his cult mebers wait outside.
EXT. WOODS – LATER THAT NIGHT
Clen and Piper lure Stacy to the boatyard. They ‘insist’ on showung him a new model boat they purchased for him. As Clen shows him, Piper clobbers him from behind with a shovel. Stacy is dragged to an abandoned area in the woods. Piper shoots him, point blank. A grave awaits, already dug out. Stacy is buried alive, gasping for his last breath …
EXT. CHURCH – SAME
Father Bob listens to Max and Shwin; agrees to perform an exorcism on the cult. The pastor is successfully able to summon the spirits, trying to set them free, when Piper and Clen appear.
Father Bob is spliced in half, then fed to the spirits … Max witnesses this despicable act. He feels ANGUISH.
EXT. TOWN – MOMENTS LATER
Townies attempt to flee the small town … only to discover it’s been locked down by the sheriff. There is chaos, as cars stop short, crashes abound. PANIC abounds.
INT. SHACK
Max and Shwin are the only remaining members of the Revolt. They retreat to the remote cabin they held meetings. Shwin shows Max the gory details of her ancestor’s death … once Max sees the carnage of the Marsapeaques, he is HORRIFIED. This leads to …
EXT. SEMINOLE STEET -NIGHT
A full moon brightens the war zone that has become his hometown. Max is watching innocent neighbors being slaughtered. He has been pushed past his ‘breaking point.’ He turns to Shwin in his state of helplessness and HYSTERIA. He implores her to use whatever power she has left to command the undead spirits to turn on the cult. She closes her eyes, as a flash of light stuns the ghosts. Suddenly, these spirits who have been decaying for centuries, slaughter Piper and Clen … The fog has now passed. Calm has been restored. The Marsapeaques’ Native American spirits can finally rest in peace.
EXT. SUNRISE
The endgame which started ay dusk has carried over until dawn. Max and Shwin embrace, and finally kiss, a magical moment until … a hand reaches up through the sewer grate, as Shwin is being pulled down … Max grabs her hand(manages to hold her postion), but slips through, as she disappears into the abyss … Max is stunned!
FADE OUT
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Scott Kaplan’s Level 2 Horror Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment was that fear,suspense, and dread bridge the gap between apprehension/anxiety, surprise, shock in Act 1 …and anguish, panic, terror, and hysteria in Act 3. It’s been challenging due to the fact that all of the horror emotions can appear at any juncture in the chaos of horror movies. I used as much of lesson five’s horror situation track to connect the timeline of my story. I mainly used scene(s) from Act 2, to set up the 3rd and final act.
INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT – NIGHT
Despite his objections, Dick Sheriff’s is coerced into enforcing a town lockdown. If he refuses, Piper and Clen threaten to kill his family.
EXT. TOWN – NIGHT
Soon after the imposed lockdown, the town has a claustrophbic atmosphere. The people of this small town no longer feel secure. Every neighbor within this two square mile radius is terrified that they will be next. They live in FEAR associated with the impending doom.
INT. MAX’S HOUSE -SAME
A meeting is held with the townies looking for a way out. Shwin is by his side; a plan is devised as they break into groups, known as The Rescuers.
EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – LATER THAT NIGHT
Members of the the Rescuers attempt to close off the sewer/canals to no avail. … they become dazed and confused, unable to think clearly, as the tide rolls in on Seminole Street. These images create UNCERTAINTY.
INT. ABANDONED SHACK – MIDDLE OF NIGHT
After members of the Rescuers are slaughtered, Max and Shwin take cover in a smaller shack. The pastor, Father Bob, was suppposed to meet them after his reluctant attempt at an exorcism. There is a knock at the door … Max motions to Shwin to open the door, as he holds a sawed off shotgun.
EXT. SHACK -SAME (POV FROM OUTSDIE)
Shwin opens the door. A few Rescuers from the revolt against the cult remain, barely alive. Their flesh is mangled, missing limbs. Before Max or Shwin can help pull them inside, sharp claws rip them away. Neither Max nor Shwin know if they are still alive. They bolt he door shut.
INT. SHACK
Shwin confides that the original settlers are ancestors of hers. She holds up a finger, marks a circle on the wall. Flashing lights as she shows Max the horrific truth …
FLASHBACK … show that the ancestors of the cult are responsible for the extinction of the Marsapeaques — 154 years ago. Max sees the builders blowing up American Indians.
IMAGES of decaying flesh of the innocent Native Americans, whom were enslavened by the cult’s ancestors. This atrocity overcomes Max with a feeling of DREAD.
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Scott Kaplan’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is … the horror emotional scale factors tremendously into the reaction of the audience; to outline the graph that will guide one to the ’emotional map’ of the story is of paramount importance! This has definitely been a challenge to sequence the scenes from Act 1. I can only have faith that I have done so ..
INT. BOATYARD, A.K.A, JEAN’S BACKYARD – DAY
A conversation between Jean and Piper/Clen has turned into an argument over property and power. Because of Piper and Clen’s refusal to move their boat storage from Jean’s backyard(it’s on the border of each one’s property), Jean is now refusing to allow them into his restaurant. Subsequently, he excludes them from the house party he will hold tomorrrow.
EXT. JEAN’S HOUSE – NEXT DAY – NIGHT
A lot of guests attend. Jean reaches down to take the garbage from the bulkhead. His wife looks apprehensive, then tells his friend Greg to accompany her husband. Jean grabs the garbage bags, begins his walk to the curb(above the sewers). Greg follows, but is distracted by a call from his distant son(his ex-wife lives 1,500 miles away). Hence, Jean walks alone. He attempts to dispense of the rubbish. Before he can successfuly lit the lid, Jean hears a suspicious noise as the lid is lifted … Piper and Clen are behind their boats watching, their eyes blackening with oozing oil … as the sewer grates are removed by large, sharp claws. It is high tide as the filthy canal water rises, along with a dense fog. Jean is dragged down, beneath Seminole Street. SCREAMS come from his son, who witnesses his father’s death.
EXT. DAY
Jean Jr. and his best friend Dukes are hanging out in a tree. They are 8 years-old. As Jean Jr tries to explain what happened to his father. Clen’s son, Dukes, is in denial.
Stacy, the third member of the cult, overhears, as he is working on a neighbor’s deck.
CUT TO: Stacy informs Clen and Piper via text message that Jean’s son knows the truth. He receives a message back … suddenly, the whites of his eyes turn black. Stacy raises his arms to the sky, which turns solemnly dark in the brightness of midday. The winds start to swirl at 75 miles per hour. Both children are knocked to the ground.
Fog rises from the sewer grates, as the spirits snatch the children’s ankles. Their screams are drowned out, as they are pulled into the dirty canal water at high tide (12 hours after Jean Sr). Max sees this horrific event from a distance, his eyes wide in SHOCK!
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Scott Kaplan’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned in lesson 9 is … a writer’s outline serves as a ‘blueprint’ to get from start to finish. I employ the use of scene cards to storyboard. All genres(especially horror) require telling your story through action. Show, don’t tell is a valid approach. Removing the tags is a great way to create emotional sequenes in scenes; the key is to edit enough, yet keep relevant actions/scenes to continue moving the story forward–from Acts 1 to 2 and 3.
EXT. BOATYARD/SEWERS – NIGHT
Jean Parmiginia hosts a party at his house. He caters in from his restaurant. He invites most neighbors — not Clen or Piper –because they insist on keeping their boats on his backyard property. The local Sheriff is afraid to enforce he law, for fear of his family being harmed by the devious cult(Clen/Piper).
Piper and Clen summon the spirits who lurk underneath the canals. They command these ghastly spirits to execute the beloved restauranteur. Jean takes garbage out to the curb … as Piper’s eyes turn black(oil drips from his eye sockets). Fog rises up from the sewers. The grate is removed. White shapes with sharp claws drag Jean down to his gruesome death.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Pat, the town handyman, is always at odds with his boss, Piper. One day, Pat chooses a ‘side job’ to make extra money. Piper finds out … blows a gasket. He wanted Pat to finish a job for him. Piper, fueled with rage, summons one of the ghosts.
EXT. SAME – DAY
Pat is decapitated, as black oil oozes from Piper’s eyes, a devilish grin on his face. He disposes of Pat’s body, as his head has disappeared into the abyss … Unbeknowsnst to Piper, Jean Jr. and Clen’s son, Dukes, witness the heinous crime. Dukes attemots to tell his mom. Clen’s wife balks at the idea.
EXT. STREET – LATER THAT DAY
Clen discusses with Piper. They order Stacy, the third, and somewhat reluctant, member of the cult, to get rid of the children. Stacy raises his arms, black oil pouring down his face, as the spirtits snatch the children’s ankles. Their screams are drowned out as soon as they are pulled into the dirty canal water — never to be seen again. No one is safe!
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Clen’s wife, Tammy, finds out that her child has gone missing. She implores Dick Sheriffs(his real name) to investigate. He says he’ll “look into it.” After she exits, he picks up the phone to call Clen. He’s afraid of the cult, and only wants to protect his own family.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Clen is hiding behind an enormous oak tree. He summons the spirits. They rise up, slicing Tammy’s throat with their claws … as blood gushes as if a water main broke. She crumbles to the ground, and is dragged into the sewer.
INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Stacy has a “crisis of conscience.” Upon discovery that his ancestors were responsible for extinction of the original settlers of this land (Native Americans who were exploded and buried alive 154 years ago), he goes to the revolt against the cult — led by Max and Shwin. They thank him, and welcome him to join forces.
EXT. WOODS – LATER THAT NIGHT
Clen and Piper have sensed Stacy’s change of heart for awhile, so they lure him to area near the boatyard. They insist that it’s just to show him a new boat they purchased for him. As Clen shows him his new boat, Piper clobbers Stacy from behind with a large shovel. They drag him to an abandoned area in the woods and shoot him. A grave has already been dug. Stacy is buried alive, gasping for his last breath. He is ‘sacrificed’ by the cult to show loyalty to their evil ancestors.
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – THE NEXT DAY
The town has been under “lockdown” since dawn. No one gets in or out. Max pays a visit to the sheriff. He sways him enough to let some of the townies out. This leads to … Sheriff Dick’s brutal death.
EXT. SHERIFF’S STATION – NIGHT
Piper and Clen, possessed with rage, summon the undead ghosts to bite and claw the sheriff until he is just skin and bones. They rip every last piece of flesh off his body. All that remains is a skeleton and a badge. The cult wants to send a message to the town.
INT. CHURCH – MIDDAY
Max is close to Father Bob. He confides the truth to the pastor. Father Bob informs him that Stacy had confessed his sins days before. Max is incredulous that no action was taken. He convinces Father Bob to perform an exorcism on the cult and the spirits they command to kill.
EXT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Father Bob confronts Piper and Clen. He appears to be successful at first, only to be spliced in half. He is then fed to the spirits.
EXT. TOWN – LATER THAT NIGHT.
All out hysteria. Townies running for their lives, scrambling … vehicles with families attemoting to escape …crashes pile up.
EXT. CANALS – SAME.
Father Bob’s death was not in vain. His exorcism enables the spirits to roam the streets. In addition, Shwin reveals to Max that she is a descendent of the original settlers.
FLASHBACK to … the 1800s … The cult’s ancestor’s are shown to be responsible for the extinction of the Marsapeaques. Their motivation was for the sole purpose of building a new town. This Native American tribe was buried alive, their souls unable to rest.
EXT. TOWN – DAWN
The Mighty Shwin discovers a way to turn the spirits(her orignal ancestors) against the cult that has enslavened them for generations. The endgame which started at dusk has carried over until dawn. The Native American spirits rise up to kill the remaining members of the cult. The Marsapeaques can now finally rest in piece.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Scott Kaplan’s Character Journey Track
What I learned doing this assignment is to have a motivation for each character’s actions. To make the characters have different dimensions/components for their reactions. This sets up each character’s journey from start to finish(however long they survive for).
MAX
1. Role: Survivor/Badass
2. Traits: Fearless. Black Belt.
3. Fears: The unknown. Losing friends/new love(Shwin).
4. Wants/Needs: Wants to solve the mystery/horror. Needs to defeat the cult.
5. Likability/Rooting Factor: Audience roots for Max. Willing to risk his life to save the town.
6. How they react under stress: Takes charge, confronts those who disrespect him; can be violent(especially if he drinks).
Example–Action:Neighbor harasses Shwin. Reaction: Max pummels him.
Ultimately, he must confront the cult, then the spirits they summon.
7. Relationship with other characters: Close to Father Bob–goes to him for confession(s).
B Story: Grows closer to Shwin, developing more intimacy as the acts progress. Hence, he trusts her to help him achieve the goal…but tends to keep the other characters at a distance.
Character Journey
1. Intro: Images of Max alone in his studio, going through a series of martial arts maneuvers. He wears a “Cobra Kai” headband and shirt(a fan of the popular show).
2. Denial: He refuses to accept that his rage is dangerous…until he discovers how to channel it by standing up to the antagonists(with the help of Father Bob and Shwin). These are the only characters he trusts.
3. Their reaction at first horror: Stone face/concern. How can he stop the evil?!
4. Relation to group after first horror: Untrusting, yet attempts to gather some neighbors for a meeting to feel them out.
5. How they fight back: Monster(s) too powerful until …
6. End Point: Shwin gives a history lesson. She’s willing to help Max so her ‘people’can rest.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience?
History–a flashback shows a massacre in the 1860’s–the suffering of the Marsapeaques. Shwin is a descendent of the Native American tribe blown up and buried alive, just so these contractors could build their own town. Shwin shows Max a strategy that might enable them to outsmart the cult–who are ancestors of the men responsible for destroying the original settlers. Her people were enslavened to the depths underground by contactors(who started this cult 154 years ago). Max and Shwin cultivate a plan to ‘turn the tables.’ They risk everything to help save the town. This would then free the souls of the undead so they can finally rest in peace. Will Max and/or Shwin survive? Time will tell…
SHWIN
1. Role: Co-Protagonist/Name comes from Shana Winters
2. Traits: Protective (especially of Max)
3. Fears: The cult will find out her secret–that she is a descendent of the original settlers.
4. Wants/Needs: Wants Max to let down his emotional wall. Needs to help Max decipher a way to end the bloodshed.
5. Likability/Rooting Factors: Very warm heart, audience roots for her to be with Max and help him restore equalibrium in the community.
6. How they react under stress? Follows Max’s lead until end of ACT 2 (When it seems that all is lost). She discovers the long standing secret; this enables her and Max to game plan against the cult, and save her people who have been in purgatory for 154 years.
7. Relationship with other characters: Like Max, keeps to herself. Untrusting of stranger.
Character Journey
1. Intro: She is seen riding her bicycle around town. Shwin is very fit. Unbeknownst to the cult, she considers herself “the neighborhood watch.” She runs into Max, as they cross paths during one of his runs. Instant chemistry.
2. Denial: She doesn’t see the flaws in Max (as she falls for him). Refuses to accept her heritage, prolonging agony in the small town.
3. Their reaction at first horror: Incredulous, hides out behind a bush in the barren wasteland observing victim being mutilated.
4. Relation to the group after first horror: Like Max, she is untrusting of the townies, yet follows his lead to gather the troops.
5. How they fight back: She uses her knowledge of the town’s history to set up a plan of action.
6. End Point: Her knowledge leads to a chain of events–a reaction–to combat the evil forces.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? In the aforementioned character journey of Max, the massacre of her ancestors in the 1860s show that justice can finally be served.
FATHER BOB
1. Role: Town Pastor
2. Traits: Moral compass of the town.
3. Fears: Afraid that evil has possessed the people he cherishes.
4. Wants/Needs: Wants the crimes to stop. He needs to help Max and Shwin, in any way he can.
5. Likability/Rooting Factors: His willingness to assist the protagonists makes him a crowd pleaser.
6. How they react under stress: Scared, but cannot deny Max’s cry for help.
7. Relationship with other characters: Very close, especially with Max…enough to denounce his oath to divulge confessions (Stacy’s crisis of conscience about the cult).
Character Journey:
1. Intro: Image of Sunday Mass. Father Bob giving an insightful sermon.
2. Denial: His committment to the Lord…must be betrayed to save innocent lives.
3. Their reaction at first horror: Joins forces with the revolt against the cult.
4. Relation to the group after first horror: Willing to do whatever it takes to stop the incessant deaths.
5. How they fight back: Agrees to perform exorcism.
6. End Point: Exorcism leads to his death.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? Draws out the cult, enabling Max and Shwin to turn the spirits against them.
STACY
1. Role: Member of the cult.
2. Traits: Follower of leaders of the cult, especially Piper.
3. Fears: Afraid he will be sacrificed if he doesn’t follow orders.
4. Wants/Needs: He wants to protect his family. Hence, he needs to obey their dirty deeds.
5. Likability/Rooting Factors: Unlikeable at first, redeems himself after confession and subsequent revolt against his cult.
6. How they react under stress: Cowers, unsure of what to do. Indecisive.
7. Relationship with other characters: Pretends to like family of victims until it hits too close to home. His crisis of conscience is a turning point.
Character Journey:
1. Intro: Congregating with the other cult members. Sinister looking.
2. Denial: Refuses to believe that the Harbor Rats he grew up with–bonded since birth–could be capable of committing such heinous crimes.
3. Their reaction at first horror: Pretends to accept; conflicted, he eventually confesses to Father Bob.
4. Relation to group after first horror: He plays along, afraid if he goes against his cult his family will be killed.
5. How they fight back: Goes to Father Bob, who in turn agrees to exorcism. This leads to the turning of the undead spirits.
6. Endpoint: Upon discovery, Clen and Piper execute Stacy…burying him alive.
7. What insight do their deaths or survival bring to the others/audience? His death is not in vain. His actions start the chain of events that lead to the revolt’s taking back the town that was torn from the original settlers. Thus, the Marsapeaques can finally rest in peace.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Scott Kaplan’s Monster Reveal Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that discovering the origin of the monster(s) is of paramount importance. The key is to align the reveals within the structure of each act.
1. A. Monster(s): Cult of evil men who summon the undead.
–Powers: Possessed…control the spirits to possess people and kill.
–Limitations: Not every character can be controlled (“The Mighty Shwin”).
–Weaknesses: Cult…descension amongst ranks/Spirits…are slaves to the Cult.
–Plan/Purpose/Appetite: The Cult’s plan is to possess the spirits and kill the neighbors through the gateway their ancestors established 154 years ago.
B/C. Sequence the Reveals:
1. DEMAND: Intrigue. Why are these spirits obeying the villainous cult to carry out the horrendous murders of innocent people?
MONSTER REVEAL: There is a deep, dark secret that goes back 154 years.
2. DEMAND: For the protagonist and those who believe in his quest to save their town.
MONSTER REVEAL: The ghastly spirits being summoned are not only a gateway, but also remanded as slaves to the cult.
3. DEMAND: Understand why this is happening. If not, we all might die.
MONSTER REVEAL: A secret that goes back to 1868.
4. DEMAND: Men, women, and children are being killed. Why?
MONSTER REVEAL: Because the cult “gets off” on torturing people.
5. DEMAND: After seeing the black eyes of the cult, and the undead spirits rise from the depths underground, the audience needs to know why.
MONSTER REVEAL: The cult’s ancestors are responsible for the extinction of the Marsapeaques in 1868. Their motivation was for the sole purpose of building a new town…the one that still exists today. The Native American tribe of Marsapeaques were buried alive; their souls unable to rest. Unbeknownst to the cult, there is a member amongst the protagonists, aka “the revolt against the cult,” who is a descendent of the aforementioned tribe. He/she discovers a way to turn the spirits against the cult, thus enabling their souls to rest in peace.
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Scott Kaplan’s Character Death Track
What I learned doing this assignment is that each character’s death needs to have meaning, giving creedence to the story’s plot. The order can be re-vamped as the three acts evolve. I want to build a sense of impending doom in this small town. The deaths(some expected, some not), are weaved in to heighten the suspense/horror. I need the survival of the protagonist to fit the theme : to save the town from the evil cult, overcoming revenge in an ‘altered universe.’ Thus, he can free the “undead spirits” so they can rest in peace.
Character Death 1 : Jean
Why: One of the more likable neighbors, Jean owns the most popular restaurant in town. He often clashes with Piper and Clen, two members of the sinister cult. They insist on keeping theit boats on his backyard property, causing friction. Jean now refuses to serve them at his eatery.
How: During a house party at Jean’s, the cult summon spirits who lurk underneath the canals. They have the power to enslaven these ghosts, buried alive hundreds of years ago. A member of the cult’s eyes go black(oil drips down his face), as Jean is taking out some garbage. Suddenly, fog emanated from depths beneath. The sewer grate is removed. White, ghastly shapes with sharp claws drag Jean down, beneath the street. SCREAMS come from his son, Jean Jr, who witnesses his father’s death. No one believes his story.
Character Death 2: Pat
Why: The town handyman, always at odds with Piper, who happens to be his boss.
How: One day, Pat chooses a ‘side job’ to make extra money for his family. Piper gets wind of it, and blows a gasket. He wanted Pat to finish a job for him. Piper, fueled with rage, summons one of the ghosts… Pat is decapitated, as black oil oozes from Piper’s eyes, a devilish grin on his face. He disposes of Pat’s body, as the head has disappeared into the abyss.
Character Death 3: Children in a tree
Why: Because Jean Jr. is a witness to the initial crime. He is playing with his best friend, Daisy. He tells her the story. Her father is Clen(a member of the cult). She balks at the idea. Piper then orders Stacy(the third member of the cult) to get rid of them.
How: They are up in a small tree when the sky goes dark; the winds pick up, causing them to fall. Stacy raises his arms to summon spirits. Black oil pours down his face, as the spirits snatch the young children’s ankles, dragging them down. Their screams are drowned out as soon as they are pulled into the dirty canal water… I was hesitant to kill children, but I wanted to create more terror by showing that no character is safe.
Character Death 4: Clen’s Wife
Why: She finds out about her daughter, tells Clen she’s going to the Sheriff.
How: Clen stops her, summoning the spirits. They rise up, slicing her throat with their claws.
Character Death 5: Stacy
Why: He has a “crisis of conscience” at the midpoint. Clen and Piper learn of his change of heart. He must now be sacraficed to keep their secret safe.
How: They lure him to the boatyard for a meeting. As Clen is showing him his new boat, Piper clobbers him from behind with a large shovel. They take him to an abandoned area in the woods and shoot him. They had already dug a grave. Stacy is buried alive, still breathing. He is ‘sacraficed’ by the cult to show their loyalty to their evil ancestors—responsible for executing the original settlers in the 1800’s. These Native Americans were blown to smithereens…just so the builders could take over the town. Their souls never rested. Hence, they are the undead slaves, at the beckon mercy of the cult.
Character Death 6: Sheriff
Why: Originally, he obeys Piper to “lockdown” the town. No one gets in; no one gets out. He does so because they threaten to kill his family. Max eventually sways him to let some of the townies out. This leads to …
How: Upon discovery, Piper and Clen summon the ghosts to slaughter Sheriff Dick.
Character Death 7: Pastor
Why: Father Bob attempts to perform an exorcism on the cult.
How: They splice him in half, then feed him to the spirits.
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Scott Kaplan’s Horror Situation Track
What I learned doing this assignment is: After brainstorming 20-50 potential horror situations, I determined the following work best for my plot:
STEP 2:
A. Isolated:
–Trapped (lockdown)
–Being lured into danger [(by cult…delivers victims to…
–Forces of nature (the undead spirits]
B. Pursue Situations:
—No Escape…route has been cut off due to lockdown (cult/sheriff).
C. Torture:
–Transformed into something else (Spirits…rotting and decayed…Original settlers)
(Cult possessed…black eyes)
D. Tormented:
–Possessed
–Friends in danger
E. Paranoia:
–The group has been infiltrated
F. Spooky
–Can’t see (fog, underwater-canals). Victims dragged down
G. Deceptive
–Lured into horror/working with someone who becomes evil (Piper)
Step 3: Add a Reaction:
Isolated: Try to solve it…Max enlists aid of Shwin (descendent of original settlers)
Pursued Situations: Hide (because there is no escape)
Torture: Escape attempt fails
Tormented: Fight—>Victim(s) killed
Paranoia: Denial
Spooky: Fight
Deceptive: Isolated/pursued situations/paranoia
DAY 5 OUTLINE
ACT 1:
Atmosphere of Evil Established:
Fog rises from the canals…cult’s eyes turn black, hence summoning the tortured spirits religated to the Indian burial ground…to kill innocent victims.
Horror Situation: Handyman Pat is lured to the sewers; sharp claws reach up, drag him down to the depths of the bottom.
Reaction-Escape: Neighbors hear screams, as Pat is dragged…disappears.
Horror Situation: Townies watch as limbs are thrown back up onto Seminole Street. Some recognize the hand of Pat because it has his signature tattoo.
Denial of Horror: The town’s sheriff is in denial of the heinous crimes committed in his town.
Safety Taken Away: The people of the town no longer feel secure, as neighbors are taken away.
Monster: Every neighbor within the two square miles of this town is terrified that they will be next.
Horror Situation: Impending doom
Reaction: Townies (led by Max), have a meeting, trying to figure out a way to prevail and survive.
ACT 2—The Point Of No Return
Isolated/Trapped/Abducted : Claustraphobic atmosphere, lockdown creates paranoia.
Horror Situation: The ‘Rescuers’ are dissipating, killed off, one by one.
Reaction: They break into three groups(paired off).
Horror Situation : All but two are dazed and confused, unable to think clearly with the fog and tide rolling in on Seminole Street.
Reaction : Members of the Rescuers attempt to close off the sewers/canals to no avail.
Horror Situation : Native American Spirits finally decipher that it was the Ancestors of the Cult who ‘buried them alive.’ Shwin(descendent of original settlers) informs the ‘undead ghosts’ buried alive, centuries ago. Seminole Street splits open, freeing the Native Americans… to show them (IMAGES of decaying flesh). They rise up to kill the remaining members of the cult whom enslavened them for 154 years!
Balance and equilibrium is restored in the small community.
Character Death : Max tries to save Shwin, only to realize that she, too, is amongst “the undead.” She can now rest in peace… along with all of her Tribal Ancestors.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Scott Kaplan’s Horror Plot
What I learned doing this assignment is that the plot track gives the writer the road map of the outline…enabling one to connect the dots from scene to scene. I agree with Lance that this type of outline is reminiscent of Save the Cat.
ACT 1– Set Up For Horror
Atmosphere of Evil established: The cult’s eyes turn black when they summon the tortured spirits (black oil drips from their eyes)…as we cut to fog rising from the sewers. Sharp claws reach up from the sewers, remove the grate to drag the victims down, then replace the grate.
Connect with the characters: The antagonists that are bonded from birth are attempting to carry out evil deeds started by their ancestors. Seminole Street is a gateway to summon the undead spirits, buried alive in the 1800s.
The characters are warned not to do it: The Harbor Rats (cult) warn the innocent townies to mind their own business. The protagonists (Max/Shwin) are told by the sheriff, “Don’t investigate…there’s nothing to it.” This segways into…
Denial of Horror: Dick Sheriffs (his actual name) is in denial of the heinous crimes committed in his town.
Safety taken away: The people of the town no longer feel secure, as neighbors are taken away.
Monster: The nature of the beast: The evil of the cult and spirits they summon to do their dirty deeds.
ACT 2–The Point of No Return
Isolated/Trapped/Abducted: The town is closed off via lockdown. The cult of Harbor Rats threaten Dick Sheriffs that his family will be killed unless he obeys.
One of us killed: Upon discovery that his ancestors were responsible of numerous Native Americans being buried alive, Stacy (a member of the cult) turns against Piper/Clen. They dispose of him, not knowing that his wife, Dana, is a descendent of the tribe.
MIDPOINT: The monster is worse than we thought!:
Full pursuit by the killer: Piper/Clen order spirits to kill.
Terrorized: Images of ghastly, decayed spirits FLASHBACK to their deaths/murders; spawned by the ancestors of the cult. Reveal the descendents-of builders who killed Native Americans, who were buried alive.
ACT 3–FULL OUT HORROR
Fight to the death: Father Bob performs “exorcism.” He is then killed by the antagonists.
Hysteria: Townies running wild…scrambling…cars attempting to escape (crashes).
The thrilling escape from death: As Shwin is being pulled down into the sewers of the canals, Max saves her.
Death returns to take one or more: Spirits discover the true history. They were the original settlers of this town, a Native American tribe known as Marsapeaques. They rise up from underground to kill the remaining members of the cult.
Resolution: Spirits can now Rest In Peace.
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Scott Kaplan’s Characters for Horror
What I learned doing this assignment is that characters can be both good and bad; a gray area. They can evolve and change the outcome of your concept.
1. Concept: Ghost story of a cult utilizing a gateway to summon spirits to kill innocent victims.
Group: Team of Professionals(a sheriff and a priest) / Social Group(5 neighbors that live on Seminole Street). Two groups chosen, who join forces together to stop the cult. It is a direct expression of being diametrically opposed to the concept… stop the antagonists!
2. Dying Pattern: Put seven charcters together. Most will be killed. One of the victims will be a member of the cult who turns against this cult, only to be killed. This sets off a chain of events that lead us into Act III.
3. Characters:
Leader: Max – Fearless leader and Rescuer who takes charge of thr revolt against the cult.
Love interest: Shwin is a co-protagonist. She is also Innocent and scared, but rises up to the challenge with her boyfriend Max… to thwart the cult and sprirts.
Complainer: Jean is a local restauranteur. He complains incessantly, angry that his property that has become a boatyard for two members of the cult.
Rebel: Pat – a handyman, always at odds with neighbors. He breaks a lot of rules.
Moral One: Father Bob. He is the Pastor at the local church. Revered by many, he is brought in to “exorcise” the cult and spirits that they summoned.
Red Herring: Dick Sheriffs. He is the law in this small town. We are unsure which side of the fence he resides on.
Sacraficial Lamb: Stacy starts out as a member of the cult, only to turn against them. He has a “crisis of conscience” which leads to his death. His knowledge enables the revolt to turn the deadly spirits against his former Harbor Rat members.
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Lesson 2:Crafting Your Monster
What I learned doing this assignment: I learned that crafting a monster can have numerous layers…that can be peeled away in Acts 2 and 3.
1. Scott Kaplan’s Terrifying Monster(s) are a Cult of Harbor Rats (initial anatgonists).
1a. Sprirts are summoned to carry out the evil deeds of the cult. They are an extension of the aforementioned Harbor Rats… a gateway.
2. Their Terror: Harbor Rats create FEAR in a small community. Fear of the UNKNOWN.
Their Mystery: The residents don’t understand or know who or what is causing the disappearance of friends/ family members.
Their Fear Provoking Appearance: When they eventually appear (Act 2), the Spirits are rotting and decayed. They have sharp claws and gigantic teeth, rising up after 100 years to avenge their deaths.
Their Rules: Harbor Rats feel “entitled” because they grew up on Seminole Street since birth–seemingly unbreakable bond. In Act 1, only they know how to summon the ghastly spirits…but the rules can evolve and change in Acts 2 and 3.
Their Mythology: Origins of their culture…Native Americans slain for the purpose of builders taking over land to make money (Flashback Scene).
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What I Have Learned Completing This Assignment: How to conceptualize my idea and implement the necessary conventions.
2. Title/Concept: The Fog…An old man says that the crew of the ship The Elizabeth Dane will return. When the fog returns to Antonio Bay, the men at the bottom of the sea will rise up and search for campfire that led them to their dark and icy death. The Fog is a story of revenge from beyond the grave which is tied up in the Sin (deception and greed) that The Monsters (Elizabeth Dane crew) seeks vengenance on the House.
Terrorize the Characters: Images of dense fog, loud noises during the “witching hour,” darkness.
Isolation: Characters trapped once the fog overtakes the town.
Death: 6 people (the priest is supposed to be the last)
Monster/Villain: The ghosts of The Elizabeth Dane crew members
High Tension: The Fog eminates slowly but consistently, creating tension
Departure from Reality: Ghosts coming back from the dead
Moral Statement: The theme is revenge in an altered universe.
3. John Carpenter’s relentless approach in making the audience feel a claustrophic setting.
4. Concept: Ghost story spawned from a cult of men, whom grew up on Seminole Street (aka an Indian burial ground from a long time ago)…summon the spirits to murder townies.
Terrorize the Characters: Innocent people are brutalized; bloodletting…The Harbor Rats have their almighty beliefs. Combining this with the spirits they are able to summon leaves their neighbors terrified of “who’s next?”
Isolation: A small, desolate town.
Death: Anyone who did not grow up in Drofeas Harbor like the aforementioned “Harbor Rats”
Monster/Villain: The Harbor Rats (Piper/Clen/Stacy) who summon the ghastly spirits to viciously execute innocent men, women, and children. Nobody is safe.
High Tension: Upon discovery of the treacherous murders, the protagonists (Max and Shwin) decide to recruit Drofeas members of the community. They make a decision to stand up to the villainous criminals.
Departure from Reality: The Indian spirits take victims from the depths underground, slithering up at low tide to grab victims from the canal sewers.
Moral Statement: A handful of characters from Drofeas Harbor represent a collective protagonist. Their goal is to turn the spirits against the evil Harbor Rats, thus restoring balance and equilibrium in their community.
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Greetings from Long Island, NY. My name is Scott. In 1996, I graduated with a BA in Psychology. I intend to use my background to better flesh out the motivations of these horrific characters. On break from semester, I studied and became a Certified Fitness Trainer(CFT). I parlayed this into opening Maximum Fitness in 1999. As President, I’m proud that we are celebrating our 23rd anniversary, doing my best to keep the community healthy!
My greatest passion is writing. I wrote my first screenplay in 6 weeks. Since, it’s gone through 30 rewrites. I have written 3 full-length screenplays. All different genres. One was a psychological thriller about a serial killer. The second was based on true life events pertaining to my business. The last was a time-travel fantasy spanning forty years. None have been published… I have written 13 short stories/essays and one poem. I was published in 3 of those instances. In all, having submitted thosands of times, my rejection file is full:-)
I have one movie short to my name. Filmmaking is challenging and must be collaborative. I hope to make another someday…
I wanted to take a “stab” at horror. This class provides the forum to ‘jump-start’ some new material, and get those creative juices flowing. My goal is to have a “routine” like exercise, instead of binge writing because of a hectic schedule.
To everyone who signed up…anyone who writes is a winner! Let’s be supportive and push each other to be the best versions of ourselves.
Regards,
SK
PS…as you can see I am a huge fan of ellipses…I tried to give them up for lent, but have failed mightily… good luck to all!
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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1. Scott Kaplan
2. I agree to this release form
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Scott’s HORROR Premise:
Monster/Villain: CULT spawned from group of men (“Harbor Rats”) bonded since birth.
Interesting Terror: Innocent townies are lured to their horrific death.
Isolated/Horrific Environment: A small town consisting of one square mile. Executions take place on Seminole Street (formally an Indian burial ground).
Victims: Men, women, and children whom are opposed to the Cult’s actions.
Primal Fears: Fear of the unknown, fear that something terrible will happen, fear of psychopaths, fear of pain or torture, fear of death.
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Scott Kaplan’s Horror Outline Version 2
TITLE: “The Mighty Shwin”
LOGLINE: A cult spawned from ancestors who murdered the original settlers centuries ago … use the enslaved spirits to kill, threatening the existence of mankind until …a descendent of the Marsapeaques uses her “powers” to stand up and rise against evil.
What I learned doing this assignment is … the horror outline provides a structure to your scene selection. This has been the most challenging assignment, thus far. I concur with Cameron–exhausting process to sequence the order of events–but a necessary part of the process.
The improvements involve a governmental conspiracy connected to the cult. They are all ancestors of the builders who buried alive the Native American Indians, leaving them to suffer in purgatory for 154 years.
1. EXT. RESIDENTIAL(SEMINOLE) STREET – NIGHT
A man (Jean) is taking the garbage out to the curb, directly above the sewers. As he opens the lid …
2. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – NIGHT
He hears a noise. Two men (Piper and Clen) appear, their eyes blackening with oozing oil … as sharp claws remove the sewer grate. Jean is dragged down, as the tide rises, along with a dense fog. He disappears.
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation: A man is swallowed up by something.
APPREHENSION: He walks to the curb with some concern.
FEAR: He hears a suspicious noise, turns to see … eyes oozing with black oil.
SUSPENSE: Jean is dragged down, as the high tide washes away the blood on the street.
3. EXT. – SEMINOLE STRRET – DAY
Jean’s son and his friend, Duke, are hanging out in a treehouse.
4. EXT. – HOUSE NEXT DOOR – SAME
Stacy (the third member of the cult) is building a deck. He overhears the kids. The whites of his eyes turn black. The bright sky turns dark. The winds pick up, knocking them to the ground.
5. INT/EXT SEWERS – SAME
Fog rises from beneath the sewer grates. Unseen entities snatch the ankles of the 8-year-olds. Max witnesses the end of this horrific event.
Horror Situation: Young children are taken into the abyss.
APPREHENSION: Jean and Duke are isolated targets.
FEAR: Why are they targeted, then snatched?
CREEPY MOMENT: Stacy’s black eyes, summoning evil.
PANIC: Kids terrified, helplessly screaming.
HORROR: Max is horrified as the children are taken by ‘something underground.’
6. INT. CLEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Clen’s wife finds out that her son, Duke, has disappeared. She tells Clen she’s going to the sheriff.
7. EXT. – CLEN’S HOUSE – NIGHT
She is walking to her car when she sees a ghastly white image rise up from the sewer. Clen has summoned the evil that lurks underground. Her throat is sliced, severing her head.
8. INT/EXT SEWER – SAME
Her head rolls into the dirty canal water, as she collapses to the ground.
Horror Situation: Clen must stop his wife from going to the authorities.
ANXIETY: Clen’s wife feels anxiety. she wants to find her son.
SURPRISE: Clen stops her by summoning the ‘undead spirits.’
PANIC/HYSTERIA: She sees the spirits rising up, paralyzed with FEAR.
MONSTER REVEAL: Audience gets their first glimpse of the creatures that have been killing.
9. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – DAY
Shwin is riding her bicycle. She stops to talk to Max. he invites her in to talk.
10. INT. MAX’S HOUSE – SAME
He confides what he’s seen. Unexplainable murders and disappearances. Shwin suggests they start a “neighborhood watch.” Max concurs; it’s a smart idea. He trusts her, but very few others in this small town consisting of 2 square miles. He suggests that they give the pastor, Father Bob, a visit in the near future. She nods.
NOTE: THIS IS A NON-HORROR SCENE
11. INT. CHURCH – SUNDAY
Father Bob is giving another insightful sermon to the church goers. Max and Shwin wait in the back pew. They wait until the church clears out to talk to Father Bob.
12. INT. CHURCH – SAME
Max and Shwin follow Father Bob to a private room. They explain what they’ve seen. Max divulges what he’s seen Stacy do. Shwin adds that she’s seen Piper and Clen up to no good. Father Bob doesn’t believe them. He says he’s known them too long for them to commit these heinous crimes. Max shakes his head in disbelief. Shwin grabs his arm. They exit.
Horror Situation: Max and Shwin want the pastor to help them go up against what they believe to be a cult summoning spirits from underground.
APPREHENSION: The pastor is reluctant to get involved.
SURPRISE: Max is surprised Father Bob denies their request.
FEAR: Perhaps, Father Bob is afraid to get involved.
ANGUISH: Max is distraught over the pastor’s refusal to help.
13. EXT. CHURCH – LATER
Clen and piper have witnessed Max and Shwin leave the church. They approach.
14. INT. CHURCH – SAME
They confront Father Bob, reminding him of their powers–that they control the spirits suffering from years of purgatory. Father Bob asks them to let the spirits rest in peace. They refuse, warning him that if he is planning to do anything, he will perish in the parish.
15. INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
As fate would have it, Stacy visits Father Bob. He confesses his sins. He fears that if he doesn’t comply, Piper and Clen will dispose of him. He tells Father Bob of the cult’s transgressions, but is having a “crisis of conscience.” Father Bob agrees to absolve him, but only if he turns himself in.
16. INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Stacy starts to explain what he and his cohorts have done.
17. EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – SAME
Piper has been using binoculars from a distance. Now, he and Clen close in.
18. INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE -SAME
Piper and Clen enter. Stacy looks scared, but so does the sheriff–he’s been left alone, while his deputies are out. Clen grabs Stacy and takes him outside. Piper orders that the sheriff invoke a “lockdown” on the town … or else his family will face the same consequences as those whom have disappeared. Piper threatens to tell the sheriff’s wife of his affair.
Horror Situation: The sheriff is afraid to go up against the cult. Stacy is taken hostage.
APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: The sheriff has anxiety over threat of his family.
FEAR: He is scared to confront Piper and Clen.
DREAD: He is torn, but decides he must follow Piper’s orders, even if it results in the deaths of many innocent townies.
19. EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Clen and Piper have tied up and bound Stacy for betraying them, throwing him in the back of their truck. They call their contacts in Washington D.C. The cult has relatives high up in government. Hence, a conspiracy to conceal the truth about the paranormal threat. The sheriff is then called by D.C. and ordered to impose a town lockdown.
20. EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
Piper and Clen have taken Stacy to an abandoned area in the woods. They remove the blindfold. Stacy sees that a grave has been dug. He pleads for his life. He begs Clen to spare him, that they all grew up together in the harbor. Piper clobbers him from behind with a shovel. Stacy is thrown into the grave, still slightly conscious. He is buried alive, just like the original settlers in the 1800s. We will discover the truth soon …
Horror Situation: Clen and Piper sacrifice Stacy for his betrayal.
ANXIETY: Stacy is not sure what they will do to him.
FEAR: Stacy is terrified when he sees the grave. He feels DREAD.
PANIC: Stacy is thrown into the grave.
TERROR: He is semi-conscious but aware he’s being buried alive.
21. INT. CHURCH – DAY
With the town locked down, Max returns to the church. He implores Father Bob to perform an exorcism on the cult. The pastor agrees that it may work.
22. EXT. CHURCH – DUSK
Father Bob appears to be successful in summoning the undead spirits to turn on the cult. Piper and Clen prove too strong for the courageous pastor. Their eyes begin to drip with black oil. The spirits listen to the cult’s wishes. Father Bob is spliced in half, then fed to the undead spirits, who have now risen up to wreak havoc.
23. EXT. TOWN – MOMENTS LATER
Townies attempt to flee the small town … only to discover it’s been locked down by the sheriff. Chaos ensues, as cars stop short, crashes abound.
Horror Situation: Clen and Piper prove too powerful for anyone to stop them.
APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: Innocent men, women and children are paralyzed by FEAR.
SHOCK: When Father Bob is slaughtered, Max and Shwin are stunned. They retreat.
PANIC: People are scrambling to get away, but they are isolated/trapped. No one gets in, no one gets out.
HYSTERIA: Townies are screaming hysterically as many are being tortured/killed.
24. INT./EXT SHERIFF’S OFFICE
Max and Shwin convince the sheriff to lift the lockdown. Shwin takes Max by the hand, and tells him to go with her if he wants to live. They run, just as the sheriff is mutilated.
25. INT. SHACK – MIDDLE OF NIGHT
Shwin begins to explain that the original settlers are ancestors of hers. She holds up a finger, marks a circle on the wall. Flashing lights as she shows Max the horrific truth …
FLASHBACK … shows ancestors of the cult are responsible for the extinction of the Marsapeaques … 154 years ago. Max sees the builders blowing up American Indians. They were buried alive. Images of decaying flesh. Hence, Seminole Street is a Native American Indian Burial Ground. The “undead spirits” have been enslaved to the ancestors of the cult since the 1860s, all for the purpose of rebuilding their own town. Piper, Clen and the recently deceased Stacy are all descendants of the builders.
INT. SHACK – SAME
Max is thrust back to reality with a knock at the door. He motions to Shwin to open the door, as he holds a sawed-off shot gun. He aims it at the door.
26. EXT SHACK (POV FROM OUTSIDE)
Shwin opens the door. A few people from a faction known as the “revolt against the cult” are staring down the barrel. Max lowers the gun. He motions to let them in.
27. INT. SHACK – SAME
They are barely alive. Their flesh is mangled; some are missing limbs. Max explains Shwin’s history lesson. She explains there may be a strategy to outsmart the cult. She must show her Marsapeaquen descendants the visual truth of what happened to them, using her power of telepathy. This could free them from their enslaved curse.
Horror Situation:
APPREHENSION: Shwin is tentative for FEAR it won’t work.
SURPRISE: Max is stunned by this revelation that Shwin is part Native American.
PANIC: Shwin is afraid this plan could backfire and get her and Max killed.
28. INT. SHACK – SAME
Max and Shwin realize that the people they let in have bled out. The front door from the shack blows off from the heavy winds. They exit onto …
29. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – SAME
Max looks up at a full moon which brightens the war zone. A tropical storm is rolling in with the high tide. The dirty salt water is coming from the canals, and up through the sewers. He implores her to use whatever power she has to command the undead spirits to turn on the cult. She closes her eyes, as a flash of light stuns the ghosts.
30. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET
Shwin telepathically shows her long ago ancestors that they, the Marsapeaques, were the original settlers. These decayed looking creatures can now see images of their young selves from centuries ago. Suddenly, the street splits open, freeing the rest of the Native Americans. They rise up to kill Piper and Clen. The cult is vanquished, being torn limb-from-limb. The “undead spirits” can now finally rest in peace.
Horror Situation: The town is under siege. Shwin must stop the hysteria.
SUSPENSE: Will Shwin’s mental telepathy work on the spirits?
PANIC: Even if Shwin is successful, can the spirits defeat the cult?
RELEASE: Balance and equilibrium are restored in the small community.
31. EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – DAWN
The endgame which started at dusk has concluded at dawn. The fog has passed. It’s a beautiful sunrise. Max and Shwin embrace, then kiss for the first time. A car passes by. Manfred Mann’s classic is playing. Max smiles and tells her that she is “The Mighty Shwin.”
32. EXT. STREET – SAME
Shwin starts to fade, like a ghost. Max grabs for her hand, as it slips through.
33. INT./ EXT. SEWER
A hand reaches up through the sewer where the grates dislodged. Shwin is being pulled down, as Max grabs her hand. Again, it slips through, as she disappears into the dark abyss.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Hey Cam,
Excellent logline. Succint and to the point! As a huge fan of “Alien” and “The Thing,” I enjoyed the elements drawn from these classics. The Space Colony scenes are terrific—great images! As a visual medium, I could picture your desciptions in a movie. For example, “As Sully raises an intriguing weapon-a metal bat with two electric nailers taped to the end.”
The inciting incident reels the viewer in as the stakes are raised. I like the relationship of Isaiah and his father, Sully … who must protect his Aspie son by himself.
What really peaked my interest was your use of present day, then flashback … SUPERIMPOSE: 18 HOURS EARLIER. It takes great courage to write a non-linear screenplay. My last screenplay was a time-travel fantasy spanning 40 years. I recall storyboarding index cards for each character(Flashback, Flash Forward, and Present). The challenge you’ve undertaken is highly ambitious. As the reader, I was in suspense, waiting to see how the scenes would lead back to present day.
The SOMETHING Isaiah is hiding under his bed is clever. Secrets even from Sully.
The Hegemony as the antagonists is intriguing. The scene in the space colony when Sully is fighting to get to his son again shows he’s protective and willing to do whatever it takes. I found myself rooting for the protagonists throughout.
The secondary horror situation successfully raises the stakes further due to the family doctor, Dr. Mick. The release when it’s just the Rube Goldberg machine–I wasn’t sure what this device was? I hope I didn’t miss anything in prior scenes.
The death of Dr. Mick is a good one. An ally who needs to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He dies with honor.
The MONSTER REVEAL is great! Reminiscent of “The Thing” and “Alien.” Again, I may be biased here because those are two of favorites. The next MONSTER REVEAL shows the cryptonite that can kill these monsters. It gives the audience hope that there is a chance for survival.
One of the best sequences was the anguish and horror of the wife watching her husband bleed out. Graphic, but necessary to the plot. Then, the reveal that the worms gets inside to control their victims, making them zombies is awesome. It reminded me of The Walking Dead.
The scenes Sully, Jude and Isaiah are exciting, again revealing a way to fight back. The revelation that Jude is a spy is placed nicely on the timeline. The scene inside Jude’s apartment is interesting. I was wondering just how many alien eggs there were in total? The ‘cover up’ angle is good because it shows the depth of the conspiracy.
Showing Isaiah’s mouth “open wide” is a good placement for your title(even if it is a dream sequence). I saved mine for the end of act 3. It’s all personal preference.
Isaiah saving Sully in the bunker/walkway again shows the connection these characters have for each other. It’s important for the reader/viewer to care about the main characters.
I was curious if these characters are wearing masks in all of the scenes?
When Isaiah’s mask breaks and he’s infected, this feels like the point of no return(end of act 2). This eventually brings us back to present day, which I believe starts act 3. Again, I am curious what encouraged you to write in a non-linear fashion? I feel that it works, creating more tension and suspense.
The Hegemony’s order to kill Sully and Isaiah successfully raises the stakes even further.
I really enjoyed the final sequence in the escape pod/space! As they are ejected, I recalled the final scene odf “Alien.” This kind of horror movie is right up my alley. Keep up the good work. You’ve written an outstanding horror outline!
PS I expect to get an invite to the movie premiere.
Regards,
Scott
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Hi Cameron,
I actually finished original outline Saturday, but it wouldn’t upload to this forum. Had to copy/paste into a word doc, then copy/paste it back into this forum, so I just got it in at 1:30 am(EST). Working now… I’ll reach out later.
Regards,
Scott
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by Scott Kaplan.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by