SHEILA DIONNE
Forum Replies Created
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Sheila Dionne, Dead Famous, streamers.
1. Give us your Genre, Title, and Concept.
Drama, Dead Famous, A deceased child actress and her accidental killer team up with a reluctant angel to save the girl’s brother from an abusive babysitter.
2. In one or two sentences, tell us what you think is most attractive about your story.
the paranormal and comedic aspect
3. Tell us which you will target FIRST — managers, producers, or actor’s production company — and why you picked that target.
Managers
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I, Sheila Dionne, agree to the confidentiality agreement.
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Hi, I am Sheila Dionne. I have written two television pilots and I looking to sell them to streamers. Live in LA and I am an actress.
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What I learned during this assignment:
I can go back and rework scenes to up the entertainment value.
1. E9- Alex’s dream of falling off the cliff and being rescued by Shea.
2. E7- Alex tell therapist about struggle with seeing the dead girl.
3. ****Alex and her lawyer look at the problems besetting the case.
4. E10- Alex is confronted on street about murdering Shea.
5. E8- Alex visits her sister who was badly injured in crash and faces fallout from family.
Act 1
6. E8- Alex’s roommate Lola tries to cheer Alex up but makes is so much worse.
7. E7- Alex finds Shea in her bedroom and attempts to confront her but she disappears.
8. E9- In Alex’s nightmare, the horrors of her fathers’ death intertwine with Shea’s.
9. E7- Alex wakes up sweaty and shaky.
10. E7- Alex goes into work and is warned she is about to get canned.
11. Alex’s boss tells her she is on leave until trial is over.
12. E5- Alex waits to make sure Cassie is picked up from school.
13. E7- Shea’s mom calls Joyce to tell her she will be late and check on Sammie.
14. ****Shea visits Alex in the bathroom, and Alex tells her to back off.
15. E8- In the courtroom, Shea’s Mom accuses Alex of murder. Alex’s attorney contends that Shea was underage and should have been in the backseat.
16. E5- The MacKenna’s leave court to be harassed by reporters.
17. E6- Shea’s parents bicker about Joyce.
18. E5- Cassie’s dad isn’t there to pick her up, Alex gets her.
19. E5- Alex takes Cassie home to find Jax in passed out on the couch.
20. E8- Evie is about to die, and Alex begs Shea to do something.
Act 2
21. E9- Shea gets her Guardian and they save Evie. Shea finally reveals that she wants Alex’s help to save her brother from Joyce.
22. ****Alex takes Groceries to Jax and finds him in bed with a woman doing drugs which she films on her phone.
23. E9- Eve slips into a coma, Alex tells her it’s alright now since she has Cassie.
24. E10- Lola interviewing a blind date.
25. A. To what degree does it evoke emotion?
B. To what degree does it intrigue or create curiosity?
C. To what degree does it make us want to read on?
D. To what degree does it divert us from our lives?26.
27. E9- Alex discovers Cassie can see Shea.
28. E5- Jax is following Alex.
29. E6- Trent and Tasha have dinner and he finds out she is pregnant.
30. E5- Alex drops Cassie off at Frank’s so she and Shea can check on Joyce.
31. E6- Alex and Shea follow Joyce and her boyfriend to a house party.
32. E8- Alex confronts Joyce and get shoved in pool.
33. E9- Alex and Shea dry off in car.
34. E7- Alex goes to pick up Cassie , Frank tells her Jax picked her up.
35. E8- Alex goes to Jax apartment and finds that Jax has decamped with Cassie.
End of Act 2
Act 3
36. E7- Alex has a breakdown in kitchen and banishes Shea.
37. E9- Jake and Lola having sex
38. E7- Accident reconstructionist clears Alex
39. E7- Tasha Max at Doctors
40. E6- Lola comes home, helps Alex identify POI
41. E6-MacKenna’s getting ready for night out, Sammie upset
42. E7-Shea tells Alex she knows where Cassie is, then disappears.
43. E7- In Nightclub, Alex learns about Joyce’s past, Shea arrives with bad news.
44. E9- Alex and Shea rush to Sammie, Guardian blocks entrance.
Act 4
E8-43.Joyce is frozen with knife by Sammie. Guardian leaves, Alex gets call that Evie is fading.
45. E6- Guardian whispers in patricks ear
46. E6- Cassie wants Mommie
47. E6- Lola sister sneaks in, asks for money and help at home
48. E9- Guardian explains society of caretakers. Shea and Alex want in. Sammie saved.
49. ***Closing arguments
50. E9- Cassie eating gummy bears.
Act 5
51. E6- Reporters hound Alex after the verdict
52. E6- Mrs. Mackenna swallows pills, Shea can’t stop her.
53. E8- Shea alerts Patrick
54. E8- Patrick saves Linda
55. E8- Jax discovers Cassie on the floor.
56. E8- Lola pours lasagna over Jake.
57. E 8- Flashback to accident with Shrink.
58. E 8- Alex at the hospital with Cassie and Jax, shea reassures her.
59. E 8- Lola visits Tasha who blames herself for miscarriage.
60. E 6 – Alex takes Cassie to see her mom in the hospital.
61. (E 9) Cassie lays down with her mom. And Eve speaks for the first time.
62. (E 9) The Guardian tells Alex and Shea they are on trial with the council.
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What I learned: When writing I usually go with the first idea that I get. This taught me maybe to pause and do more brainstorming early on to get a better first draft. Helpful to pull out beats and look at each character’s story in a linear fashion.
Alexandra “Alex” Hughes
Role: Female Protagonist
Core Character Traits: Alcoholic, Dysfunctional, has trouble connecting with people.
Character Subtext logline: I wish it was me that died in the accident.
Beginning: Alex is stressed out by her murder trial and the ghost following her.
Middle: Alex makes peace with Shea, but losses her job and Cassie.
End: Alex saves her sister and Shea’s brother, and wins the murder trial.
1. Alex’s dream of falling off the cliff and being rescued by Shea.
2. Alex tell therapist about struggle with seeing the dead girl.
3. Alex and her lawyer look at the problems besetting the case.
4. Alex is confronted on street about murdering Shea.
5. Alex visits her sister who was badly injured in crash and faces fallout from family.
Act 1
6. Alex’s roommate Lola tries to cheer Alex up but makes is so much worse.
7. Alex finds Shea in her bedroom and attempts to confront her but she disappears.
8. In Alex’s nightmare, the horrors of her fathers’ death intertwine with Shea’s.
9. Alex wakes up sweaty and shaky.
10. Alex goes into work and is warned she is about to get canned.
11. Alex’s boss tells her she is on leave until trial is over.
12. Alex waits to make sure Cassie is picked up from school.
13. Shea visits Alex in the bathroom, and Alex tells her to back off.
14. Alex takes Groceries to Jax and finds him in bed with a woman doing drugs which she films on her phone.
15. Alex discovers Cassie can see Shea.
16. Alex drops Cassie off at Frank’s so she and Shea can check on Joyce.
17. Alex and Shea follow Joyce and her boyfriend to a house party.
18. Alex confronts Joyce and get shoved in pool.
19. Alex and Shea dry off in car.
20. Alex goes to pick up Cassie , Frank tells her Jax picked her up.
21. Alex goes to Jax apartment and finds that Jax has decamped with Cassie.
End of Act 2
22. Alex has a breakdown in kitchen and banishes Shea.
23. Accident reconstructionist clears Alex
24. Shea tells Alex she knows where Cassie is, then disappears.
25. In Nightclub, Alex learns about Joyce’s past, Shea arrives with bad news.
26. Alex and Shea rush to Sammie, Guardian blocks entrance.
27.Guardian leaves, Alex gets call that Evie is fading.
28.Guardian explains society of caretakers
29. Closing arguments
30. Reporters hound alex after the verdict
1. Flashback to accident with Shrink.
2. Alex at hospital with Cassie and Jax, shea reassures her.
3. Alex takes Cassie to see her mom in the hospital.
4. Cassie lays down with her mom. And Eve speaks for the first time.
5. The Guardian tells alex and shea they are on trial with the council.
Beats to be elevated: longer opening with Shrink- need empathy from her distress, more likeability even though she is complicated.
Last beat: More info on “trial” and make it binge-able!
Shea MacKenna
Role: Child actress Alex accidentally kills.
Core Character Traits: Loving, Loyal, Determined
Character Subtext Logline: I won’t abandon my family even in death
Want/Need: to save Sammie from the babysitter
What makes her unique: She is a ghost that can only be seen by Alex and Shea.
Shea
Beginning: Shea tries to contact family but the only person who can see her is Alex.
Middle: Shea fights to get Alex’s attention and save Sammie.
End: Shea is transformed by her selfless act.
Alex’s dream of falling off the cliff and being rescued by Shea
1. Alex tell therapist about struggle with seeing the dead girl.
2. Alex finds Shea in her bedroom and attempts to confront her but she disappears.
3. In Alex’s nightmare, the horrors of her fathers’ death intertwine with Shea’s.
4. Shea visits Alex in the bathroom, and Alex tells her to back off.
5. Evie is about to die, and Alex begs Shea to do something.
6. Shea gets her Guardian and they save Evie. Shea finally reveals that she wants Alex’s help to save her brother from Joyce.
Alex discovers Cassie can see Shea
7. Alex and Shea follow Joyce and her boyfriend to a house party.
8. Alex and Shea dry off in car.
9. Alex has a breakdown in kitchen and banishes Shea.
10. Shea tells Alex she knows where Cassie is, then disappears.
11. In Nightclub, Alex learns about Joyce’s past, Shea arrives with bad news.
12. Alex and Shea rush to Sammie, Guardian blocks entrance.
13. Guardian explains society of caretakers. Shea and Alex want in. Sammie saved.
14. Mrs Mackenna swallows pills, Shea can’t stop her.
15. Shea alerts Patrick
16. The Guardian tells alex and shea they are on trial with the council.
Elevated Beats: Shea can’t get anyone’s attention but Alex’s. Make clear!
How is Shea transformed by her selfless act?
How is shrink able to see the Accident at the end? Is there a better way to present that?
LOLA
Role: Alex’s roommate and friend
Core Character Traits: Driven to overcome childhood trauma, Smart-Ass, Softie
Character Subtext line: Overachieving will fix me
Flaw: Ignoring her trauma
Want/Need: Escape her past
Beginning: Lola tries to cheer up Alex and makes it worse.
Middle: Lola in love with Jake, helps Alex with Joyce mystery.
End: Breaks up with Jake, comforts Tasha after miscarriage.
1. Alex’s roommate Lola tries to cheer Alex up but makes it so much worse.
2. Lola interviewing a blind date.
3. Jake and Lola having sex
4. Lola comes home, helps Alex identify POI
5. Lola’s sister sneaks in, asks for money and help at home
6. Lola pours lasagna over Jake.
7. Lola visits Tasha who blames herself for miscarriage.
Elevated beats: clear up connection with Lola, Trent and Tasha. Have Lola actively try to bring them together? Why, what stake does she have in it? Break up with Jake more spectacularly.
Guardian
Role: Shea’s guardian angel.
Core Character Traits: tries hard to stick to rules, but a softie. Loving, hilarious ala Kevin Hart.
Character subtext line: I will break the rules for you, even though I will be punished.
Beginning: saves Eve (why)
Middle: saves Sammie
End: Tells of trial before Society
1. Shea gets her Guardian and they save Evie. Shea finally reveals that she wants Alex’s help to save her brother from Joyce.
2. Alex and Shea rush to Sammie, Guardian blocks entrance.
3. Joyce is frozen with a knife by Sammie. Guardian leaves, Alex gets call that Evie is fading.
4. Guardian whispers in Patrick’s ear
5. Guardian explains society of caretakers. Shea and Alex want in.
Elevated beats: Make clear why he Is with Shea, why is he helping her? More details on Society.
JAX
Role: Evie’s boyfriend and father to Cassie
Core Character Traits: Drug abuser, an abusive boyfriend, tries to be a good dad
Character Subtext line: I know what is best for my daughter.
Beginning: Disses Alex and Keeps Cassie from her.
Middle: After botching Cassie’s protection, he takes off with Cassie.
End: Realizing she is better off without him, he relinquishes Cassie to Alex.
· visits her sister who was badly injured in the crash and faces fallout from family.
· Alex waits to make sure Cassie is picked up from school.
· Alex takes Cassie home to find Jax passed out on the couch.
· Alex takes Groceries to Jax and finds him in bed with a woman doing drugs which she films on her phone.
· Jax is following Alex.
· Alex goes to pick up Cassie, Frank tells her Jax picked her up.
· Alex goes to Jax’s apartment and finds that Jax has decamped with Cassie.
· Cassie wants Mommie
· Jax discovers Cassie on the floor
· Alex at the hospital with Cassie and Jax.
Beats to be elevated:
Better Jax – cousin interaction- more meaningful and intense.
Jax in bed with a woman???
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Logline: A recently deceased girl and her accidental killer team up with an angel to save their respective families from looming disasters.
What I learned doing this assignment: Being more specific with your traits can lead to greater clarity for your character.
Alexandra “Alex” Hughes
Role: Female Protagonist
Core Character Traits: Alcoholic, Dysfunctional, Self-sacrificing
Character Subtext logline: I wish it was me that died in the accident.
Flaw: guilt
Want/Need: has to make things right
Mission/Agenda : Save her sister and Sammie
Character Arc (if any) : from self-protective to helpful
World View : Too painful to love someone
Secret: I killed my fatherSomething they don’t want to admit about themselves: I care
What makes this character unique? Complicated – self-loathing
Elevated: Change Dysfunctional to has difficulty making connections with people. Dysfunctional is too vague and doesn’t add enough detail.
Shea MacKenna
Role: Child actress Alex accidentally kills.
Core Character Traits: Loving, Loyal, Determined
Character Subtext Logline: I won’t abandon my family even in death
Want/Need: to save Sammie from the babysitter
What makes her unique: She is a ghost that can only be seen by Alex and Shea.
Elevate: Change her from determined to a fierce fighter in order to give her a bit more personality and not be so bland.
LOLA
Role: Alex’s roommate and friend
Core Character Traits: Driven to overcome childhood trauma, Smart-Ass, Softie
Character Subtext line: Overachieving will fix me
Flaw: Ignoring her trauma
Want/Need: Escape her past
Elevated; Softie- changed to has a heart of gold but doesn’t want anyone to know.
Her wanting to hide her goodness gives her more depth.
EVIE HUGHES
Role: Alex’s little sister
Core Character traits: Loving Mother, Low self-esteem, weak
Character subtext logline: Cassie is all that matters.
Flaw: Staying with an abusive boyfriend.
Want/Need: Make sure Cassie is taken care of.
Guardian
Role: Shea’s guardian angel.
Core Character Traits: stern, supportive ,stickler for rules
Character subtext line: I will break the rules for you.
Secret: He is an angel that can’t ascend to heaven because he interfered in the life of his only son.
Mission: Desperate to ascend to heaven to be with his family.
Elevate: Change him from stern to comedian ala Kevin Hart. This gives the script more diversity and humor.
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What I learned during this assignment: I have too many short scenes, and need to let it breathe a little more.
Sheila Dionne: Story Beats
1. Alex’s dream of falling off the cliff and being rescued by Shea.
2. Alex tell therapist about struggle with seeing the dead girl.
3. Alex and her lawyer look at the problems besetting the case.
4. Alex is confronted on street about murdering Shea.
5. Alex visits her sister who was badly injured in crash and faces fallout from family.
Act 1
6. Alex’s roommate Lola tries to cheer Alex up but makes is so much worse.
7. Alex finds Shea in her bedroom and attempts to confront her but she disappears.
8. In Alex’s nightmare, the horrors of her fathers’ death intertwine with Shea’s.
9. Alex wakes up sweaty and shaky.
10. Alex goes into work and is warned she is about to get canned.
11. Alex’s boss tells her she is on leave until trial is over.
12. Alex waits to make sure Cassie is picked up from school.
13. Shea’s mom calls Joyce to tell her she will be late and check on Sammie.
14. Shea visits Alex in the bathroom, and Alex tells her to back off.
15. In the courtroom, Shea’s Mom accuses Alex of murder. Alex’s attorney contends that Shea was underage and should have been in the backseat.
16. The MacKenna’s leave court to be harassed by reporters.
17. Shea’s parents bicker about Joyce.
18. Cassie’s dad isn’t there to pick her up, Alex gets her.
19. Alex takes Cassie home to find Jax in passed out on the couch.
20. Evie is about to die, and Alex begs Shea to do something.
Act 2
21. Shea gets her Guardian and they save Evie. Shea finally reveals that she wants Alex’s help to save her brother from Joyce.
22. Alex takes Groceries to Jax and finds him in bed with a woman doing drugs which she films on her phone.
23. Eve slips into a coma, Alex tells her it’s alright now since she has Cassie.
24. Lola interviewing a blind date.
25. Alex discovers Cassie can see Shea.
26. Jax is following Alex.
27. Trent and Tasha have dinner and he finds out she is pregnant.
28. Alex drops Cassie off at Frank’s so she and Shea can check on Joyce.
29. Alex and Shea follow Joyce and her boyfriend to a house party.
30. Alex confronts Joyce and get shoved in pool.
31. Alex and Shea dry off in car.
32. Alex goes to pick up Cassie , Frank tells her Jax picked her up.
33. Alex goes to Jax apartment and finds that Jax has decamped with Cassie.
End of Act 2
Act 3
34. Alex has a breakdown in kitchen and banishes Shea.
35. Jake and Lola having sex
36. Accident reconstructionist clears Alex
37. Tasha Max at Doctors
38. Lola comes home, helps Alex identify POI
39. MacKenna’s getting ready for night out, Sammie upset
40. Shea tells Alex she knows where Cassie is, then disappears.
41. In Nightclub, Alex learns about Joyce’s past, Shea arrives with bad news.
42. Alex and Shea rush to Sammie, Guardian blocks entrance.
Act 4
Joyce is frozen with knife by Sammie. Guardian leaves, Alex gets call that Evie is fading.
43. Guardian whispers in patricks ear
44. Cassie wants Mommie
45. Lola sister sneaks in, asks for money and help at home
46. Guardian explains society of caretakers. Shea and Alex want in. Sammie saved.
47. Closing arguments
48. Cassie eating gummy bears.
Act 5
49. Reporters hound alex after the verdict
50. Mrs Mackenna swallows pills, Shea can’t stop her.
51. Shea alerts Patrick
52. Patrick saves Linda
53. Jax discovers Cassie on floor.
54. Lola pours lasagna over Jake.
55. Flashback to accident with Shrink.
56. Alex at hospital with Cassie and Jax, shea reassures her.
57. Lola visits Tasha who blames herself for miscarriage.
58. Alex takes Cassie to see her mom in the hospital.
59. Cassie lays down with her mom. And Eve speaks for the first time.
60. The Guardian tells alex and shea they are on trial with the council.
Beats to be reworked
55- how to relay the accident to the shrink.
54- lola pours lasagna over Jake.
47- not sure I need closing arguments.
46-Guardian explains society of caretakers.
14 Shea visits Alex in the bathroom.
2- Alex and Jane’s first appointment longer more info.
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What I learned from doing this assignment: There is always room for improvement.
———————–1. Tell us your logline.
A recently deceased girl and her accidental killer team up with an angel to save their families from looming disasters.
2. Present your current story, showing each part of the 9-part structure.
Give us each of these, along with the current main conflict:Main Conflict: Alex refusing to acknowledge that she can see Shea’s ghost.
1. Opening:
Dream sequence
2. Inciting Incident:
Seen in flashback at the end of the pilot, (how the accident happened.)
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about:
Will Alex be found guilty in the murder of Shea, and why is the girl “haunting” her?
4. First turning point at end of Act 1:
Evie goes into cardiac arrest, Shea and her Guardian save her. Alex finally acknowledges Shea and finds out why she is being haunted (to help save Shea’s brother from an abusive babysitter.)
5. Mid-Point:
Alex has a crisis of confidence. Jax and Cassie skip town. Lola falls hard for her new guy. Tasha is pregnant with Trent’s child. Evie not getting better.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2:Cassie in grave peril, Jury out for deliberations, Mrs. Mackenna attempts suicide, Alex learns the truth about Joyce’s past, Lola reels from her boyfriends’ betrayal.
7. Crisis:
Sammie is about to be attacked with a knife by his babysitter.
8. Climax:
The Guardian allows Shea and Alex to enter a covenant where they are allowed to help the helpless and they save Sammie.
9. Resolution:
Alex is cleared of murder, Evie is on the mend, Cassie and Alex are reunited, Lola consoles Tasha on her miscarriage, Alex and Shea begin their new duties with the Guardian.
3. Look back over the 9 elements and select at least one
to elevate.Elevate: Climax
INT. HOSPITAL VENDING MACHINES – DAY
Alex drops in quarters and leans tiredly against the machine to wait for her coffee. The Guardian and Shea pop in.
GUARDIAN
Prepare yourself, mortal.
ALEX
(startled)
Holy Shit!
GUARDIAN
There is an emergency meeting of the society and you and shea are on trial.
ALEX
What? Why?
GUARDIAN
the Society thinks you shouldn’t be one of them because you are breathing and Shea is too young. If they decide against you, Shea will go to the Kingdom and you will be put to death.
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*This is a TV pilot* What I have learned: I see how outlining can help save a lot of rewriting down the road.
Covenant
Logline: A recently deceased girl and her accidental killer team up with an angel to save their respective families from looming disasters.
Alexandra (Alex) Hughes is in the fight of her life. A car she was driving killed Shea MacKenna, a child actress, and put her sister Evie in intensive care. While on trial for killing Shea, the girl’s ghost follows her, and Alex’s attempt to ignore her is becoming increasingly difficult.
Having promised Evie to look out for her daughter, Cassie, Alex gets into increasingly confrontational situations with her father, Jax, until he skips town with Cassie.
Her smart-aleck roommate Lola has her own issues as she tries to connect with a new man and act as a go-between to Alex’s ex-husband and his new girlfriend, Tasha, who also happens to be Alex’s former best friend.
Alex finally connects with Shea after she and her Guardian save Evie from dying. Alex learns that Shea’s brother, Sammie, is being abused by his babysitter, and since Shea can’t seem to be seen by anyone but Alex, she is desperate for her to help.
During the trial, it looks bad for Alex due to her alcohol levels and the fact that the car was hit from behind. We get to know the MacKenna family and see Sammie’s distress with his babysitter, Joyce.
Alex learns that Joyce has a history of unstable behavior, and attempts to directly intervene to save him from Joyce. The Guardian appears and forbids interference in human affairs. He is touched by Shea’s desperation and asks her if she wishes to enter into a covenant and join a society that sacrifices their entrance to heaven in order to stay on earth and help the helpless.
Shea accepts and Alex says she wants to join as well to save her sister’s life. The Guardian reluctantly agrees and Sammie is saved from Joyce’s attack.
Cassie almost dies from Jax’s neglect, and he calls Alex to come get her. The accident specialist clears Alex of responsibility for the accident since Mrs. MacKenna’s car hydroplaned and swung around to crash into Alex.
Alex is found not guilty, and the Guardian enlists Shea and Alex to begin their new duties as champions of the helpless.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by SHEILA DIONNE.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by SHEILA DIONNE.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by SHEILA DIONNE.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by SHEILA DIONNE.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by
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Hi everyone,
I am a tv writer and actress living in LA who has written two original pilots and three spec scripts. Very excited to pick up some new rewriting tools.
Sheila Dionne
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I agree to the terms of the stated release form.
Sheila Dionne