Sherri Coffee
Forum Replies Created
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Physical and Prop Humor
What I learned was to start with the main form of incongruence. Brainstorm props and physical actions to add humor.
Main incongruity: At 26, Alex is an attorney for the FBI assigned to infiltrate a lobby firm. Marion is a 50 something seasoned successful lobbyist with the firm assigned to train her. Alex is very politically liberal, and Marion is a staunch conservative. Both must find a way to relate.
Prop: Picture on wall of Marion with President Reagan that she adores.
In Marion’s office, Alex begins to ask questions to get to know Marion better. She asks, “Wasn’t Reagan the beginning of the end of democracy?” Marion studies her and just points to the picture on the wall.
Prop: Marion removed the picture from the wall and places on her desk. “He is the reason I became a lobbyist.” Alex displays an uncomfortable smile. Marion states, “you were not even born, right?” Alex responds, “1997. Clinton baby.
Prop: Marion prints out a client list and hands to Alex. She peruses the list and can’t believe her eyes. “You represent the NRA” Marion points to the gun cabinet in her office. “You betcha. A girl with a gun will never be a victim.” Alex: “So, you never had to do drills in school, right?” Marion scoffs. “They are one of our most important clients.” Alex slips, “I bet”
Prop: Lunch arrives. Roast beef sandwiches, chips, and sodas. Marion grabs a sandwich and Alex just stares at the platter. Marion, “what is the matter, aren’t you hungry?” Alex, “are there any vegetarian?” Marion yells to the admin, “Sue, we’ve got a grasseater. Can you add vegetarian for tomorrow?” Alex is horrified. “Where am I?”
Physical: At the state capital, Alex follows Marion never letting her phone out of her site, not even in the ladies restroom. She sits on the toilet and texts. “Going to be harder than I thought. Don’t know if I can make friends here.” Text back, “You must. Do whatever it takes.” Marion peers over the stall. “Do you even text when you pee?” Alex drops the phone on the floor and it cracks. She must spend the rest of the day with a cracked phone. When she if finally able to leave Marion, she arrives at the store to find it closing. She loses it in the parking lot. She is phoneless for a day and begins to see the world around her.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Toppers, running gags, and belly laughs
What I learned doing this assignment was to take one step at a time and brainstorm funny moments and sequence them.
Funny Moments:
Alex arrives at fundraiser in business suit while everyone else is formal.
Alex holds onto her cell phone like a security blanket. She meets people and uses the phrase, “I am new”.
Alex “I’m new” introduction is met with “Of course you are. Who do you know?”
Alex has trouble holding a glass of wine and her cell phone.
Alex cannot take food from the tray without putting the cell or the drink down. She places the drink down.
Marion introduces Alex to a few people and purposely leaves her alone to watch her. Marion observes her with a keen eye. “hopeless”
Marion watches as her mortal enemy lobbyist approaches Alex and strikes up a conversation. He tries to gather information. Marion comes to the rescue. “what did he ask? what did you say?”
Marion approaches Alex who is glued to her phone in the corner. She reminds her she is to talk to people. Alex is horrified. We are going to “relationship build” as she drags her to meet people.
End of evening. Marion says goodnight to Alex. She turns to another lobbyist. “what we will do to get a client”.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Comedy Brainstorm Session
What I learned doing this assignment is to explore different situations and brainstorm ideas to create a scene.
Comedy Situation: Alex attends her first fundraiser with her mentor Marion. Marion is a seasoned lobbyist who has no time for newbies. She must “train” Alex to get a coveted firm client. Alex is an undercover FBI lawyer who is investigating political corruption. The fundraiser is a mix of the incompatibles meeting other incompatibles.
Loglines:
Alex is a research lawyer with the FBI. She is comfortable glued to the computer or a device to research crimes. When the Agency comes up empty in a political corruption case, she is placed undercover with a lobby firm to assist the investigation. Alex is private, analytical, and socially awkward. A fish out of water, she is forced to interact with people she despises.
Marion is a seasoned successful lobbyist known as the “best hired gun in the business”. When Marion is featured in an article, her jealous boss assigns her to train Alex as retribution. If Marion can train Alex, she gets the lead on the firm’s coveted new client. Marion is manipulative, passive-aggressive and loathes incompetence. Everything Alex is not.
OUTLINE
Alex meets Marion at a fundraiser. The event is held in a private mansion and the dress is formal. Alex shows up in a business suit when all the other patrons are in formal attire. (Embarrassment and forced union of incompatibles)
Marion apologizes for the lack of attire details but secretly knows she did this on purpose. The sooner she can get Alex to leave, the sooner she can get her life back. Alex goes overboard to apologize to attendees for her attire – and attributes to being new and not being told by Marion! (Wildly inappropriate response)
Marion introduces Alex to some key politicians and lobbyists. She purposefully leaves her alone. When she returns, a politician has taken Alex under his wing and is introducing her to all the other members. Marion is called out by the politician. (Misinterpretation, forced union of incompatibles)
Marion must change tactics and join them. (Embarrassment and comedic surprise)
Alex wears a wire and is fed key facts about each politician she meets. She uses the information to establish a rapport with them much to Marion’s dismay. (misinterpretation)
Alex overhears Marion refer to the “clients over there” and offers to set up a meeting. She must figure out a way to attend that meeting.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Writing Funny Lines
What I learned doing this assignment is to explore different incongruent possibilities to compose an effective punchline.
INT. FBI OFFICE – AM
Alex conducts intense search on her computer. Jake knocks and she waves him in without losing her gaze on the computer.
JAKE
Alex.
ALEX
Yes. Jake.
JAKE
Can I have your attention?
Alex sighs in disdain. She reluctantly looks at him and leans back in her chair.
ALEX
OK.
JAKE
I need to ask you a favor.
ALEX
OK.
JAKE
The team met to discuss the terrorist case this morning.
ALEX
Get to the point.
JAKE
We need you.
ALEX
To?
JAKE
We need you to infiltrate a Florida lobby firm.
ALEX
Come again.
JAKE
We need you to infiltrate a Florida lobby firm.
ALEX
But I’m an attorney. I research. No interactions with suspects, remember?
JAKE
So, look at this as an opportunity. You can research in real time as you witness the events in real time. And this would give you the promotion you want.
Alex leans back and looks doubtful.
ALEX
Tell me more.
JAKE
We need you to infiltrate a lobby firm in Tallahassee, Florida. We can set you up undercover. Provide some training before.
Punchlines:
Absurd request: I assume you want me to find a husband before I move?
Comparison: Should I study RBG or Erin Brockovich?
Exaggeration: You want me to be a lobbyist? Don’t they have to talk to politicians?
Insult: How am I going to get hired by a lobby firm? Do I get a trust fund and a personal chef too?
Metaphor: Think actor, think role, think oscar.
Misinterpretation: I don’t have the skills Jake. Politicians? What in the world will I say? Jake responds, “very little”.
Parody: Lobbyists are like rodents; they hide when the lights go on. You can hide while you gather the information. Make some friends!
Rename: Amazing Alex or AA for short.
Reversal: Alex explores the world of a lobbyist and shops online for clothes. When they arrive, she looks silly and very inappropriate.
Understatement: Alex hires a stylist to help her with an appropriate wardrobe. So, this is how I’m supposed to look. Normal?
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Characters Built for Comedy
What I learned doing this assignment was to start with a character, add incongruent twists, and decide which twist provides the most interesting.
Alex is a serious research attorney with the FBI who must infiltrate a corrupt lobby firm to assist her team.
INT. FBI ALEX OFFICE – AM
Alex sits at her desk and conducts an intense computer search.
types in “political radicals” and hits return.
scrolls results.
types in “christian nationalism” and hits return.
scrolls results.
INT. FBI CONFERENCE ROOM – AM
Jake stands at the front of the conference table and scrolls through the pictures.
Candidate.
Donors.
Advocacy groups.
Lobby firm.
JAKE
All may be linked to a radical homegrown terrorist group focused on christian nationalism. Our agents have hit a dead end. Any ideas?
MARK
We have to infiltrate the lobby firm. They will know all the links.
Jake looks around the room. All men are dressed in black suits, white shirts, black ties.
JAKE
I agree. We need to infiltrate. The question is, who can infiltrate?
CHRIS
I could do it.
MARK
No offense buddy but we need a lawyer. A very good lawyer that we can trust.
INT. FBI ALEX OFFICE – AM
Jake glances towards Alex’s office and watches her through the glass. She is obsessed with computer research.
INT. FBI CONFERENCE ROOM – AM
MARK
No. Alex? She’s a researcher!
JAKE
She knows what we need.
CHRIS
She can barely carry on a conversation without looking at her phone!
JAKE
Ok. She’s a little bit of a geek. But she may be our only hope to uncover the truth.
We can train her.
MARK
You mean, we can train her.
JAKE
You and Miss Ball.
CHRIS
No way.
MARK
Ball busting Miss Ball. You still have one left, right Chris?
CHRIS
Are you done?
JAKE
Look guys. If we don’t produce something from this investigation, it’s dead.
Jake raises his hand. Mark and Chris slowly raise hands.
INT. FBI ALEX OFFICE – AM
Alex works at computer. Jake knocks. She looks up and motions him to enter.
ALEX
Hi Jake.
JAKE
Alex. I have a favor to ask.
Alex leans back in her chair.
ALEX
No way. I hate politics. I absolutely hate organized religion. And Florida is a cesspool.
You have to find someone else. Miss Ball. She can do it. She can do anything.
JAKE
No, she cannot work this case. She was compromised last year in Florida, and we can’t take a chance. Alex, if you don’t step up the case will die.
Alex stares back at the screen.
JAKE
And all the effort you have done will be left in a closed file while the criminals continue to commit crimes. We need you, Alex.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – More Comedy Situations!
What I learned doing this assignment was to explore the comedy situations, brainstorm interactions, and create the scene.
Barbara is a self-made successful executive. Her doubles tennis partner Catherine is a silver spoon who has never worked.
EXT. Tennis Court – AM
The ladies break during a set. Score reads 5-2. Barbara drinks water. Catherine talks.
Catherine
We can do this Barbara. We can do this. What’s wrong with your serve? You have to get your serve in for us to have a chance to win.
Barbara stares, puts her water down and walks onto the court to serve.
Barbara (O.C.)
She’s such an ass. This is a tennis match, not a life and death situation.
Catherine takes position on the court.
Catherine
Let’s go Barb, you can do this.
Barbara serves the ball. Opponents return the ball to her; she returns and hits it into the net.
Catherine glares.
Barbara serves the ball again. Point plays long. Catherine hits the ball out and throws a fit.
Barbara
God. Please let me get off this court.
Barbara
Love-thirty.
They play another point and lose again.
Catherine approaches Barbara to huddle.
Catherine
C’mon. Just keep the ball in the court.
Barbara
Yes, let’s keep the ball in the court.
Barbara walks away.
Barbara
Love-forty
Serves the ball. Returns. Catherine hits an overhead out.
The ladies move to the net and shake hands with opponents. Catherine walks with Barbara to the bench.
Catherine
Well, I can’t play any better than that.
Barbara
Really? It’s a tennis match Catherine. Not all about you.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Creating Comedy Situations
What I learned from doing this assignment is to brainstorm characters in different situations to develop a scene.
Barbara organizes a tennis trip and is forced to invite her frenemy, Catherine. She is convinced that Catherine wants to make her look bad at every turn. Catherine is happy to be included but she cannot maintain good behavior.
INT. Condo welcome dinner – PM
Catherine arrives and the room of ladies becomes still.
BARB
Hi Catherine, how’s your condo?
CATHERINE
Well, you know. Dated and cramped. Nothing like this place.
BARB
So, give them a call? See if they have anything else?
CATHERINE
Isn’t that your role? You made the reservations, right?
Barb receives stares.
BARB
Yes, but we are paying separate. Call them.
Lizzie leans over and whispers.
LIZZIE
Of all people, right?
Barb nods.
Catherine pours herself a drink and blends into the group.
She makes a call. And SCREAMS.
CATHERINE
NO. NO. NO.
She makes her way back to Barb. Hands her the phone.
CATHERINE
Tell them Barb. Tell them what we expect.
BARB
Hello. Yes, we are here for the tennis boot camp. Ok. Tomorrow?
Barb shakes her head.
BARB
Sure, we can move tomorrow. Talk then.
Turns to Catherine.
BARB
Problem solved. They can move you tomorrow.
CATHERINE
What about tonight? I know. I can sleep here. Let me go get my things!
Catherine runs out the door before Barb can object.
Barb turns to Jan.
BARB
WTF – now I have to share a condo with her.
JAN
I’d rather get another divorce than room with her.
LIZZIE
Who is going to be her tennis partner? Barb?
BARB
Everyone has to take a turn. How bad can it be?
The next morning, Barb makes coffee and wakes Catherine up.
CATHERINE
What are you doing? Too early!
BARB
We have to be on the court at 9am. I don’t want to be late.
Catherine rolls over and closes her eyes.
CATHERINE
Whatever.
EXT. TENNIS COURT – AM
Catherine strolls onto the court 20 minutes late. Barb just shakes her head.
`
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Plotting for Comedy
What I learned doing this assignment was to brainstorm different plots to develop a concept.
Character: Demanding Female executive agrees to coordinate a Tennis boot camp trip for her club team.
1. Fish out of water: Female executive encounters tedious demands and time-consuming details when she organizes a tennis boot camp trip for her club team.
2. Incongruent pairings: Female executive coordinates trip for: wealthy socialite who has never worked: marketing manager who is obsessed with online dating; and recently divorced woman who just lost job.
3. Hilarious purpose: All of the ladies want to escape their daily lives.
-
What I learned doing this assignment was to identify incongruent characters, interactions and the setup patterns. Fish out of water character in The Devil Wears Prada.
ANDY turns and sees NIGEL walking down the hall carrying a pair of stunning Dolce slingbacks. He holds out the shoes. (SETUP) NIGEL I guessed 8 1/2. ANDY That's very nice of you, but I don't need those. Miranda hired me. She knows what I look like. NIGEL Do you? MIRANDA Emily! We hear MIRANDA clearly. She's not yelling. She never yells. MIRANDA (CONT'D) Emily! NIGEL She means you. (nudges her) Go. ANDY takes a deep breath. 33 INT. RUNWAY - MIRANDA'S OFFICE 33 ANDY appears in the door. MIRANDA is talking to PAUL, the art director, who is showing her a layout. MIRANDA It's too dark. I can't see any of the clothes... PAUL ...I think he intended to use shadow to show the contours of the... MIRANDA And what is this? I want the title of the layout to bleed over the left side of the photo... PAUL I see, well, we needed room for the typeface to pick up the lines of the dress, which is cut on the bias, so we... (CONTINUED) 18A. The Devil Wears Prada 2nd Blue In Progress 12/00/05 33 CONTINUED: 33 MIRANDA No, no, no. That's not what I want. I made that abundantly clear... MIRANDA looks up and sees ANDY. MIRANDA (CONT'D) There you are, Emily. How many times do I have to scream your name? ANDY Actually, it's Andy. MIRANDA gives ANDY a look. And ANDY notices she's brought the room to a screeching halt. ANDY (CONT'D) My name is Andy. Andrea, but people call me Andy. (CONTINUED) 19. The Devil Wears Prada 2nd Blue In Progress 12/00/05 33 CONTINUED: (2) 33 MIRANDA What a fantastic story. So entertaining and full of useful information. MIRANDA looks at her. And smiles. Terrifying. MIRANDA (CONT'D) I need ten or fifteen skirts from Calvin Klein... ANDY What kind of-- MIRANDA Please bore someone else with your questions. Make sure we can get Pier 59 at 8 am tomorrow... Remind Jocelyn I want to see a few of those satchels Marc is doing in the pony... And tell Simone I'll take Frankie if Maggie is not available tomorrow... And did Demarchelier confirm? ANDY Demar-- MIRANDA Get him on the phone. As ANDY leaves -- MIRANDA (CONT'D) And Emily. ANDY turns. ANDY Yes? And MIRANDA doesn't say anything. Just looks at ANDY'S shoes. Then back up at ANDY. Her message unmistakable. (INCONGRUENT - ANDY DOESN'T REALIZE THE SHOES ARE IMPORTANT!) 34 INT. RUNWAY OFFICE - BULLPEN -- DAY 34 ANDY flies out of MIRANDA'S office, races over to the desk, pulls on the Dolces. MIRANDA immediately calls out... MIRANDA Do you have Demarchelier? (CONTINUED) 20. The Devil Wears Prada 2nd Blue In Progress 12/00/05 34 CONTINUED: 34 ANDY tries to look the name up in the address book on the computer. ANDY Demarchelier... Demarchelier... Just then EMILY appears behind ANDY. She dials the phone. EMILY I have Miranda Priestly calling. (calls out) I have Patrick. She flips the call to MIRANDA. Then turns to ANDY, who's slightly panicked. ANDY (SETUP FOR INCONGRUENT INTERACTION) She called me in and asked me about Pier 59. She said something about Simone and Frankie and someone else. And she needs skirts from Calvin Klein. I think that's the most important thing, but I couldn't tell. Oh, and there was something about a pony. EMILY Did she say which skirts? (ANDY shakes her head No) Did she say what kind? (No.) Color? Shape? Fabric? (No. No. No.) ANDY I tried to ask her, but-- EMILY (INCONGRUENT RESPONSE. OF COURSE, YOU ASK YOUR BOSS QUESTIONS BUT NOT IN MIRANDA'S OR EMILY'S WORLD) You never ask Miranda. Anything. (sighs) All right, I'll take care of the other stuff. You go to Calvin Klein. ANDY Me? EMILY (SETUP - EXPECTATION ALSO OUT OF THE NORMAL WORK INTERACTION) I'm sorry. Do you have a prior commitment? Is there some hideous pants convention? (CONTINUED) 21. The Devil Wears Prada 2nd Blue In Progress 12/00/05 34 CONTINUED: (2) 34 ANDY So I just, what, go down to the Calvin Klein store and ask them-- EMILY rolls her eyes so hard they almost eject from her head. EMILY You're not going to the store. ANDY Of course not. I'm going... to his house. EMILY (oh god why me?) You are catching on quickly. We always send assistants to a designer's home on their very first day. You're going to his showroom. I'll give you the address. ANDY (SETUP) Sorry. Got it. What's the nearest subway stop? EMILY (PAYOFF - GROUNDRULES) Good God. You do not. Under any circumstances. Take public transportation. On ANDY. I don't? 35 EXT. ELIAS-CLARKE -- DAY 35 ANDY steps out. Sees a Black Lincoln Town Car. She smiles. 36 EXT. ELIAS-CLARKE/INT. TOWN CAR -- DAY 36 ANDY rides uptown. She looks around -- the magazines, the tiny bottles of water, the little dishes of candy. The driver, ROY, looks at her in the mirror. ROY Miranda's new assistant. Congrats. ANDY Thanks. ANDY takes some candy. (SETUP FOR WEIGHT EXPECTATION TO COME) -
Hi everyone!
I am Sherri Coffee.
I have written 3 scripts to date and continue to focus on educational opportunities to perfect the craft.
Unique to me is that I have a passion for politics and history.
I am hoping to gain comedy script writing knowledge in this course.
Looking forward to learning with you!
Sherri
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Thriller Map
Opening: After graduating law school, Charlotte lands a lobbyist position at a prestigious firm. On her first day, she attends a fundraiser at the home of media giant, Anne Coleman. She meets, greets, and observes the well-heeled crowd while a well-dressed man secretly snaps photos.
Inciting event: At the reception, the firm’s founder asks a Senator to make a call for him. When the Senator hesitates, firm founder reminds the Senator of the reason for this fundraiser. The next morning, firm founder holds staff meeting and announces the firm’s expansion plans. Ray, who helped him establish the firm, thinks he will be selected to lead the new office. But he selects Charlotte’s new boss. Ray begins to pack up his office and leave the firm. Charlotte watches and wonders if she made a mistake.
Turning point 1: Charlotte’s training intensifies, and her boss gives her the task of working with the media giant to organize another fundraiser. After she meets with Anne, she has more questions than answers. She creates a storyboard to put all the pieces into place.
Midpoint: Charlotte arrives home to find the well-dressed man waiting for her. He is her uncle and he recently resigned from the CIA. He enlists her help with the investigation.
Turning point 2: Charlotte gathers information and begins to put the system of organizations, media, and political contributions together. She begins to understand why her uncle wants the information.
Climax: Charlotte links the money flow to foreign investors and finds documentation. Senator places a call to CIA director about “rogue resigned” agent. The “rogue resigned” agent (Charlotte’s uncle) sits in the office. Charlotte breaks through several obstacles to arrive at the CIA office with the documentation.
Resolution: Firm founder is indicted. Charlotte goes to work with Ray. Senator wins re-election.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Readable Thriller Map
What I learned doing this assignment was to put together all the elements of Mystery, Intrigue and Suspense and create a story that incorporates the elements of the thriller map.
Opening: After graduating law school, Charlotte begins a new position at a prestigious lobby firm. Her first event is a fundraiser at the home of the Media giant Anne Coleman. She meets, greets, and observes. A well-dressed man surveys the crowd and secretly snaps photos.
INT. Mansion – PM
On her first day on the job, Charlotte stands in a receiving line to greet the hostess. Anne Coleman extends her hand and her desire to get to know Charlotte better. The well-dressed man snaps photos.
EXT. Mansion – PM
Charlotte exits the patron filled ballroom onto the outdoor patio and lawn. She spots her new boss Patricia in a serious discussion with her new firm’s founder Ford. They lower voices as Charlotte approaches and end the conversation abruptly when she arrives. Ford says hello and leaves. Patricia introduces her to several clients and employees.
EXT. Mansion – PM
Ford finds Senator Smith. Is he going to make the call tomorrow? The Senator hesitates. Ford reminds him of the “watered grass” around him. Isn’t it a beautiful lawn? The lawn cannot grow without water. The Senator nods yes and walks away. well-dressed man snaps photos.
INT. Mansion – PM
Patricia introduces Charlotte to several international and domestic organizations and companies. Conversation with Anne raises some questions. Charlotte’s research begins.
Inciting Event:
Ford holds a company meeting in the conference room. He announces the opening of a DC Office to solidify the Federal lobbying presence. After helping Ford establish the firm, Ray is confident he will be selected. But Ford names Patricia to lead the DC Firm. Ray is angry. Ford does not understand. Why doesn’t Ray see the money, power, and influence the DC Firm will add to the business?
INT. Ford Firm – AM
Ford announces the DC office will be led by Patricia. Ray closes his portfolio and walks out. Charlotte wants to know what this change means for her career. Ray begins to pack up his office. Ford walks in and the confrontation ends with some strong words. Ray walks out the door. Charlotte watches and wonders if she made a mistake.
Turning Point 1:
Patricia had a new sense of urgency to train Charlotte for her position. They meet with Senator Smith in his office. Charlotte notices the paper folded to an article on the Senator’s desk: CIA Agent Abruptly Leaves Agency. Patricia gives Charlotte the task of organizing another fundraiser with Anne Coleman.
INT. Ford Firm – AM
Charlotte’s research into clients and political invitees for the fundraiser raises some questions about the firm’s contracts. She is more confused when her questions are met with vague answers. Several clients leave to join Ray’s new firm. Charlotte reaches out to Anne to discuss event. Charlotte arrives home to find the well-dressed man from the fundraiser waiting on her.
Midpoint:
Charlotte’s uncle is the well-dressed man. He asks Charlotte for her help with his investigation of the firm. He reveals that he was the one who got her the job. She wants to quit and is unconvinced to help. Charlotte’s conversations with Anne and several key advocacy organizations reveal some information that convinces Charlotte to help her uncle. Ford continues to work with Senator Smith to add new foreign government clients.
Turning Point 2:
Charlotte takes the information she has uncovered and tries to understand the system. How does the money get to advocacy organizations? Politicians? Why is Anne involved? Patricia is uncomfortable with Charlotte’s curiosity. Ford is suspicious and devises a plan to get rid of Charlotte.
Climax:
Charlotte pieces together the pieces and races to provide the information to the CIA. Ford notices a breach in his accounts. Ford and Patricia race to stop her. Ford contacts Senator who contacts CIA Director. Charlotte’s uncle is in the office with the CIA Director. Charlotte barely makes it to the Agency in time to deliver the information.
Resolution:
Ford and Patricia are indicted. Ray offers Charlotte a position in his firm, and she accepts.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Misdirects….When Appropriate!
What I learned doing this assignment is to incorporate the misdirects that make sense with the story and use sparingly.
A. Red Herring Character: Uncle L at CIA.
Character misdirection: Uncle is ousted from the CIA and Charlotte thinks he is corrupt and will damage her career. Uncle L continues to work in the shadows to uncover and document the villain Ford’s corrupt foreign government money used to buy politicians. Uncle L is vindicated at the end when Charlotte realizes he is on her side.
B. Villain: Ford
Character misdirection: Ford appears to be a very successful upstanding founder of a premier lobby firm. He takes on the role of mentor for Charlotte after Patricia’s suicide. But he is trying to cover up the millions of dollars he takes from foreign governments funneled through 501’s and ultimately support politicians and political parties.
Clue misdirection: Ford’s behavior is very normal for the lobby world. He secretly monitors his bank account and leverages the money to manipulate politicians. He has money, power, and prestige. His success catches the eye of the CIA. He hires Charlotte because her uncle but appears to not know the connection.
C. The Cover-up for each mystery present as “Reality”:
Dialogue Misdirection: The big coverup is the public facade of Ford. Character misdirection. The mystery of what Patricia knew is exposed as his system is exposed by Charlotte as she deepens her knowledge of the lobby world. Conversations between Charlotte and Ford, Charlotte, Ford, and 501’s, and Charlotte, Ford and Senator Smith present a “reality” that hides Ford’s real scheme.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Gives Great Clues!
What I learned doing this assignment is to start with the mystery and end result to brainstorm the possible clues.
Mystery: Why did Patricia commit suicide?
End result: She was murdered because she threatened to reveal Ford’s dark money scheme.
Clues:
1. At the reception, Patricia makes sure to introduce Charlotte to Senator Smith.
2. Patricia describes foreign contracts and identifies clients to educate Charlotte.
3. Patricia provides Charlotte some files and a gift basket to welcome her to the firm. In the basket, there are hidden usb files for Charlotte to discover.
4. Patricia instructs Charlotte how to lobby and provides her a manual on investigations after CIA agent is ousted.
5. Ford praises Patricia while erasing all her files. He has her office wiped clean. Also, sends his men to her apartment.
6. Charlotte recovers from the shock of Patricia’s suicide and finally opens the gift basket. A note and usb file provide her a list of clues to document the money scheme.
7. Ford whispers at the reception that it will all be taken care of by this time tomorrow.
Mystery: What is Ford hiding?
End result: He is using foreign contracts to funnel money to 501’s who then use the money to support political candidates to do the foreign government bidding.
1. USB data.
2. Contract language and investigation uncovers contracts paying large sums.
3. Requests from 501’s for funding.
4. Political contributions list. Finds missing money.
5. Funding policy being discussed benefits the foreign governments.
6. Senator Smith asks lots of questions about the firm’s contributions.
7. Ford has 2 sets of files.
Mystery: How does the system work and who benefits?
End result: Ford is getting rich by taking foreign money, funneling to 501’s, and supporting politicians who vote yes for foreign government needs.
1. Ford adds another government to his generic contract file.
2. He deposits the check and takes his cut off the top.
3. He meets with the Chair of a large 501 group at the Fundraiser and commits to funds in exchange for a policy vote.
4. Senator Smith refers 501 groups to Ford.
5. Senator Smith reviews the budget vote with Ford and Charlotte, hiding the true intent of the allocated money.
6. Charlotte’s CIA uncle investigates the system in the shadows.
7. Charlotte finds the documentation of the money flow.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Dramatic Reveals
What I learned is to brainstorm reveals and try to stagger to create suspense throughout the story.
Reveal 1: Charlotte’s uncle is a CIA agent who is investigating her new firm. Patricia and Ford do not let her know that they know. The truth is revealed when Charlotte arrives at the firm to see the headline of her uncles CIA oust on Ford’s desk. She views with caution. Ford and Patricia discuss the case and mention his investigation of the firm. They give Charlotte an investigation 101 guide in case anyone even a relative approaches her.
Reveal 2: Ford is so successful that he expands his state lobby firm and opens up a DC office. The money he has earned from all the foreign government contracts and advocacy 501 organizations enables him to expand. His contracts with foreign governments are generic and provide a venue to contribute large sums of money to 501 organizations to support political candidates. At the office opening, a politician reveals the 501 support is so valuable to his reelection bid to Charlotte in hopes of continuing the relationship with the firm.
Reveal 3: Patricia hires Charlotte because her uncle is CIA. Charlotte is made aware of that fact when she investigates the usb file Patricia provides in her training materials.
Reveal 4: Patricia is having an affair with the powerful Senator Smith. Charlotte discovers when she walks in on them in a compromising position.
Reveal 5: Ford works with a CIA mole to have her uncle ousted from the agency. After Patricia’s death, Ford follow up with mole to find out if the investigation is dead.
Reveal 6: Charlotte has suspicions due to usb file information and foreign government involvement in fundraising. She researches the process and rules. She uncovers each reveal of how funding flows from foreign governments to 501s and ultimately to support political parties and candidates. She secretly uncovers the funding streams at the firm.
Reveal 7: Ford has gotten rid of the CIA, Patricia, and is working to set Charlotte up. He creates another 501 and puts her in charge. He uses a foreign contract to provide the money to start the 501. He hides his motive by providing her more career responsibility.
Reveal 8: Charlotte is contacted by her uncle. He reveals what he knows about the investigation and tells her she is in danger.
Reveal 9: Ford comes to Charlotte with an illegal check from a client for the 501 and tries to rush the deposit. He in essence is setting her up to make an illegal deposit. charlotte knows it is illegal.
Reveal 10: Ford thinks Charlotte deposits check and calls to her attention. She states that she found out it was illegal, sent back to the client, and awaits a valid check to deposit. Ford’s set up did not work.
Reveal 11: Ford is still trying to cover up the “dark” money flow as he grows his wealth, power, and influence. Charlotte plays the game as she sharpens her skills and uncovers more information about his scheme. She reveals to her uncle what she has found.
Reveal 12: Charlotte is in danger. Her apartment ransacked. She runs. Only to be found by her uncle who reveals he is still with the CIA. The oust was a rouse to throw Ford off.
Reveal 13: Ford works with Senator Smith to direct the 501 funds to select candidates. Senator Smith keeps detailed records and after the transfer is complete, he sends the file to Charlotte’s uncle. He has been working with the CIA all along to entrap Ford.
Reveal 14: Senator Smith suspects Ford had something to do with Patricia’s suicide. He hired his own investigators to reveal that Ford in fact killed her because she was working with the CIA.
Reveal 15: Charlotte realizes just how dangerous politics can be when her career and life are threatened by the power people who want the system of dark money to continue.
Improvements to the Thriller Map will be to add these reveals into a current scattered story line!
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is to brainstorm trust/distrust between characters.
1. Main characters
Hero: Charlotte
Villain: Ford
Red Herring Character: Uncle L
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Ford
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Senator Smith
2. Charlotte – A. Trustable B. She may appear not trustable by investigating Ford’s transactions and prying into his political contributions. C. She appears to be trustable when she follows thru on her commitments to Ford.
Ford – A. Not Trustable B. He is a trusted partner with politicians and political parties – they can always rely on Ford for campaign money C. He is not trustable when he suspects that Charlotte knows where he gets campaign money.
Uncle L. A. Not trustable. B. He is ousted from the CIA and appears not trustable. C. He is ousted as a decoy to entrap Ford in his foreign money scheme.
Senator Smith. A. Trustable. B. Not trustable – Charlotte discovers his affair. C. He becomes trustable when he chooses to expose Ford’s corrupt scheme.
3. Charlotte/Ford
Trust: Ford hires Charlotte to join his prestigious firm.
Distrust: Ford hires Charlotte because her uncle CIA is investigating his foreign money scheme.
Trust: Charlotte trusts Ford to provide her the training and projects she needs to lobby.
Distrust: Charlotte begins to doubt Ford when she investigates foreign contacts.
Charlotte/Uncle L
Trust: Charlotte trusts her uncle to help her career.
Distrust: When he is ousted publicly from the CIA, he becomes a distrusted liability for her career.
Trust: Uncle L trust Charlotte to be able to obtain the information he needs to document his case.
Distrust: Uncle L distrusts Charlotte when she doubts him and begins to believe Ford.
Charlotte/Ford is trusted but shouldn’t be.
Trust: Career training
Distrust: He is setting Charlotte up to take the fall for him.
Charlotte/Uncle L isn’t trusted but should be
Trust: In danger and being chased, Charlotte has no choice but to trust her uncle.
Distrust: Charlotte avoids her uncle due to the damage he could do to her career.
4. Sequence Trust/Distrust:
Trust: Charlotte believes Ford has hired her for her skill set to join his firm.
Distrust: Ford has really hired her to disrupt the CIA investigation.
Trust: When Patricia takes Charlotte to the day at the capital, she listens to every word.
Distrust: Charlotte sees Patricia kissing Senator Smith and assumes an affair.
Trust: Patricia welcomes her to the firm and gives her a welcome basket at the end of her first day.
Distrust: She doubts her intent when she discovers a usb file with a list of foreign contacts.
Trust: Charlotte attends fundraiser for Senator Smith.
Distrust: Charlotte is drugged at the fundraiser.
Trust: Senator Smith visits Charlotte to make sure she is ok.
Distrust: Charlotte suspects he had her drugged.
Trust: Charlotte continues to investigate the funding streams used for political contributions.
Distrust: Charlotte cannot find out where the money originates.
Trust: She finds generic contracts.
Distrust: the amount of money does not match the contract amounts.
Trust: Senator Smith points Charlotte in the right direction.
Distrust: She risks her job to get the documentation.
Trust: Charlotte tries to get the information to the CIA.
Distrust: Her Uncle prevents her from reaching the CIA.
Trust: Her Uncle takes her to Senator Smith’s office to deliver the information.
Distrust: Charlotte is interrogated in a room with CIA.
Trust: She begins to trust the room.
Distrust: Senator Smith has campaign plans.
Trust: Ford shows up to confront the group.
Distrust: Ford knows that the truth has been revealed.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Twists and Turns
What I learned in this assignment was to brainstorm twists and turns to make the story more intriguing and unpredictable.
Opening: On her first day at the firm, Charlotte is exposed to the world of lobbying by her mentor Patricia. Man watches them in the shadows.
Mystery 1: How does the lobby world work?
Inciting event: Patricia commits suicide that night.
Mystery 2: Why does Patricia commit suicide? Did she really commit suicide?
Villain plan: To hide what Patricia knew about his ties to foreign governments.
Mystery 3: What did Patricia know, and did she share with Charlotte?
Mystery 4: What does Charlotte know? Who is the man in the shadows following her?
Threatening: Knowledge of foreign government transactions could be revealed.
Twist: something planned for doesn’t happen: Fundraiser for Senator is planned for the next night. Senator shows up at the office and cancels until after the funeral.
Threatening: the unknown. The Senator questions Charlotte and she suspects he knows what Patricia shared with her.
Mystery 5: What do the foreign contacts mean and why does the Senator care?
Turning Point 1: Charlotte uncovers money transfers of contributions sent to advocacy organizations from foreign governments.
Mystery 6: Why would foreign governments want to support American advocacy organizations?
Threatening: the unknown. Charlotte asks questions at firm about the support.
Threatening: Someone covertly operative around them. Ford gets suspicious and enlists an employee to watch Charlotte closely at Patricia’s funeral.
Mystery 7: Who is the man in the shadows following Charlotte at Patricia’s funeral?
Midpoint: Charlotte uncovers a money stream from foreign contacts to advocacy organization supporting the fundraiser for Senator.
Mystery 8: Are the advocacy organizations able to fund political campaigns with foreign money?
Twist: The employee watching Charlotte walks in and sees her researching contributions from foreign governments.
Villain Plan 2: The employee reports to Ford and he confronts Charlotte. Ford lies about the money flow and the contracts with foreign governments.
Twist/Turn: The man in the shadows is in Charlotte’s apartment waiting for her to arrive.
Mystery 9: Who is the man in the shadows? What is his motive and intentions hiding in the apartment?
Threatening: Charlotte arrives home to the confrontation.
Twist/Turn: The man in the shadows is Charlotte’s uncle who resigned from CIA in disgrace. (news report on her first day with Patricia)
Mystery 10: What does the uncle want?
Threatening: The uncle presents a threat to Charlotte’s ability to establish credibility in the world of lobbying.
Mystery 11: Why did uncle resign from CIA? What was his relationship to Patricia?
Turning Point 2: Charlotte attends the fundraiser and is given something in her drink that makes her drunk and sick.
Mystery 12: Who put something in Charlotte’s drink?
Threatening: Someone wants to hurt her.
Villain Plan 3: Ford is convinced that Charlotte has information. He removes her from the advocacy accounts and places her in charge of Senator’s reelection campaign.
Threatening: Charlotte discovers the trail of wire transfers to Senator’s campaign.
Mystery 14: Who can she trust with the information?
Threatening: Charlotte arrives home to find her home ransacked.
Mystery 15: Who ransacked her home and why?
Climax: Charlotte tries to get to the CIA to deliver the information.
Threatening: She is being chased.
Mystery 16: Who is chasing her and why?
Twist/Turn: Chase is by CIA – her uncle never resigned. Decoy to make Ford think that he had no credibility. Ford’s people chase her to silence her.
Resolution: Charlotte reveals information to CIA. Ford is arrested. Senator gets reelected.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Thriller Plot!
What I learned doing this assignment was to take the elements of each essential character and intertwine with a structure to tell a story.
Opening: On her first day at the firm, Charlotte is exposed to the world of lobbying by her mentor Patricia.
Mystery 1: How does the lobby world work?
Inciting event: Patricia commits suicide.
Mystery 2: Why does she commit suicide? Did she commit suicide?
Villain Plan 1: To hide what Patricia knew about his ties to foreign governments.
Mystery 3: What did Patricia know and what did she share with Charlotte?
Mystery 4: What does Charlotte know?
Threatening: Threat secret could be revealed: Charlotte has the information about the foreign contacts.
Mystery 5: What do the foreign contacts mean?
Turning point: Charlotte discovers the foreign contacts are used to fund several groups who contribute to political campaigns.
Mystery 6: Why do foreign contacts want to support American advocacy groups?
Threatening: The unknown: Charlotte begins investigating.
Threatening: Someone covertly operative: Ford puts Charlotte’s training in the hands of a trusted employee who monitors her closely.
Midpoint: Charlotte uncovers foreign contacts funding advocacy groups who provide political money to politicians.
Mystery 7: What do the foreign funders get out of supporting American politicians?
Villain Plan 2: Ford covers up the flow of foreign funds. Creates generic contracts.
Mystery 8: Why is Ford involved? What did Patricia know? Did she tell anyone?
Turning point 2: Charlotte is poisoned at advocacy political fundraiser.
Mystery 9: Why and Who poisoned Charlotte?
Villain Plan 3: Ford suspects Charlotte has information she is not sharing. Figures out a way to remove her from the advocacy accounts.
Mystery 10: Who can Charlotte trust with information?
Threatening: Risk of secret being revealed.
Climax: Charlotte must get to the CIA to provide them the information.
Threatening: She is being chased by people who want to prevent her from sharing the information.
Resolution: Charlotte reveals information to CIA and must go into protective services. Ford is arrested. Senator Smith runs for Congress.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Life Threatening Sequence
What I learned in this assignment is to brainstorm the many ways to threaten the hero in the story.
1. What is the Villain’s plan and how does that plan put the Hero in danger? Ford is using his lobby firm to hide the money he receives from foreign governments. Charlotte is fresh out of law school and his illegal activity threatens to ruin her career before she gets started.
2. What other potential dangers could the Hero experience as she tries to solve the mystery and confront the Villain? Ford works with some seedy characters. And there is a lot of money at risk if his deception is revealed. And political contributions from the money also would have an impact. As Charlotte uncovers the scheme, she faces dangers from other employees at the firm, politicians and political parties, and foreign governments.
3. From the list of dangers: surveillance/watched; lured into a dangerous situation; people around them die; the unknown; something damages reputation; chance relationship could end; threat secret could be revealed; loss of job or career; someone covertly operative around them; other parties who need to solve the mystery first.
1. The woman who hires Charlotte into the firm is found dead.
2. The investigation reveals Patricia in a compromising relationship with a politician. Charlotte must work with him. Ford watches the relationship for any sign of collusion.
3. Charlotte gets the usb drive with foreign contacts and contracts. She matches with political donations. Finds a pattern. Another employee walks in and almost discovers her find.
4. Charlotte attends a fundraiser and is given a drug that makes her sick. She is rushed to the hospital. She doesn’t know who or why?
5. Charlotte’s disgraced uncle who worked with the CIA suddenly appears in her life. He has been following her and surveilling her activities. Unknown.
6. Charlotte’s uncle knows about Ford’s corrupt money scheme. Ford had him dismissed from the Agency in disgrace. He must solve the mystery before Charlotte to expose the CIA Director as corrupt.
7. Charlotte worries her relationship with her uncle will hurt her career and place her in even more danger.
8. Charlotte attends a dinner and is left alone with the politician. She is afraid. He confronts her about the foreign contracts, and she denies any knowledge to get away. He lets her know the stakes of such an operation.
9. Ford begins to provide Charlotte with more responsibility. He has another employee try to find out more about her.
10. Charlotte finds Ford’s secret files and downloads more information. She tries to meet her uncle but is kidnapped by the politician’s staff. He wants the credit for taking Ford down for his presidential bid. She finds herself in a room being interrogated.
11. Her uncle frantically searches for her while being chased. He must lose the bad guys to find her.
12. Uncle finds Charlotte and confronts the politician. They are on the same side just fighting for the documentation. Ford’s people arrive to kill them.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Mystery Sequence
What I learned from doing this assignment was to take the secrets of the villain and brainstorm the mysteries and cover ups to develop the mystery sequence.
1. What is the big secret the villain is covering up? Ford knows how and why Patricia died.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret? Ford can provide evidence to lead the investigators in another direction. Ford can hide the information that Patricia knew. Ford can discredit Patricia with fraud charges. Ford can provide false information about his firm. Ford can leverage his corrupt political relationships to help him.
3. The first mystery must engage the hero. Charlotte is devastated when she discovers her mentor at the lobby firm is dead. She must find out why.
4. Sequence the mysteries:
Mystery 1: Why did Patricia commit suicide?
Cover up: Ford provides evidence to throw the investigators off his involvement.
Secret: Ford knew Patricia had discovered his ties to foreign governments.
Cover up: Charlotte does not reveal the usb she received from Patricia to the investigators.
Secret: She has the information on foreign governments but does not understand.
Mystery 2: What did Patricia know?
Cover up: Ford has generic contracts with foreign governments to hide the real purpose.
Secret: Ford uses foreign funds to support politicians through advocacy organizations and super pacs.
Mystery 3: What does Ford have to do with Patricia’s death?
Cover up: Ford tries to discredit Patricia to justify her death.
Secret: Ford set Patricia up with fraud charges to be filed to ruin her career and conceal his fraud.
Mystery 4: Does Charlotte understand the breadth of the corruption, and will she be able to finish what her mentor started?
Cover up: Charlotte continues with firm and attends to business at hand.
Secret: Charlotte continues to investigate the USB contacts and contracts.
Cover up: Charlotte befriends several politicians to gain information.
Secret: Charlotte is providing the information to the CIA.
Mystery 5: Just how big and how high up does the foreign corruption go?
Cover up: Ford tries to set Charlotte up.
Secret: Ford suspects she is on to his foreign contract scheme.
Cover up: Charlotte knows it is a set up and obtains his trust.
Secret: The CIA has her back.
Mystery 6: Who in the government will expose the corruption?
Cover up: Speaker of the House is aware of the corruption and the funding mechanism but will not act.
Secret: Speaker of the House believes that if she exposes, the government will fall.
Cover up: Politician hires PR firm to spread his “nothing to lose” image.
Secret: Politician is able to compile the documentation to expose the corruption.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Villain Has a Great Plan!
What I learned is to structure the villains plan by working back to his end goal. Also, to reveal the backstory as the hero uncovers the deceit.
1. What is the end goal? Joe Ford founds his state level lobby firm to make as much money as he can.
2. How can he accomplish the goal in a devious way? Joe partners with any client willing to pay him a lot of money and contribute large sums to politicians and political parties. He becomes the go-to-guy for a compromised politician who links him into a foreign network of laundered money and illegal businesses. He takes the money and hides the truth of the source.
3. How can they cover it up? He creates secret foreign bank accounts to wire contributions of laundered money; creates a system of standard contracts that hide the true purpose of the interaction; he uses cryptocurrency to fill political party and candidate coffers; and he leverages the power provided by the huge amounts of cash to compromise political parties, elected officials, and administrative employees.
4. Sequence:
Joe Ford leverages a powerful political relationship to obtain foreign government contracts.
He arranges for his clients to use offshore accounts and cryptocurrency to fund a political party and individual candidates. He hides the transactions in a hidden file.
He hides the motive of his clients by using generic contracts for “lobby services”. He files vague reports on his lobbying activities and creates a reputable path of political donations.
He grows his network by providing very large political donations. He obtains proof of political transgressions and then saves the victim from exposure to create a loyal network.
When the CIA enlists the help of one of his lobbyists to reveal his network, Joe leverages his powerful connections to oust the CIA agent in a very public and humiliating exposure. The lobbyist knows his days are numbered and commits suicide.
Joe Ford continues to make money and grow his corrupt network of power without oversight or consequences.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – SOTL Stacking Suspense
What I learned doing this assignment is to utilize the chart to tease out the MIS for each character and each scene. The stakes increase as the movie progresses to create a high level of anticipation, intrigue, and fear.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – BI Stacking Suspense
What I learned doing this assignment was to identify the mystery, intrigue, and suspense in each scene.
Basic Instinct illustrates the skill of presenting the MIS in every scene. Tension combines with intrigue to keep the viewer interested. A high level of suspense with the overarching mystery, “did she, do it?” coupled with layers of other potential murders establishes a reason for the viewer to complete the journey.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – World and Characters
What I learned doing this assignment was to create a framework and characters with mystery, suspense and intrigue for the story.
1. CONCEPT: A young lobbyist is recruited to join a prestigious firm. On her first day, the man who recruits her commits suicide but leaves her an external storage device. She secretly investigates to understand why and uncovers a network of foreign contacts. As she delves deeper, she links her firm contracts with a coordinated effort of foreign players who want to destroy the United States. She must figure out who to trust, and how to proceed to reveal and stop the effort.
MIS:
Big Mystery: What is the purpose of the network and how can Charlotte stop them?
Big Intrigue: Who coordinates the network and what role does her firm play?
Big Suspense: Who can Charlotte trust? Will she be exposed, forced to support the network, or be killed?
2. Intriguing World: Lobbying firms, politicians, foreign governments, and government officials. (Money, power, politics, espionage)
3. Character roles:
Unwitting Hero: Charlotte Lane
Mystery: Why did Ford choose her? What does the information he left to her mean? The more she uncovers, the more dangerous her world becomes.
Intrigue: Charlotte leverages her lobbying position to secretly gather information about the network.
Suspense: Will Charlotte uncover the power behind the coordinated network? Will she find out who to trust with the information? Will she be exposed, forced to support the network, or be killed?
Red Herring: Manny Lane
Mystery: What does he have to do with Charlotte’s firm and her investigation?
Intrigue: Why did Manny resign from the CIA?
Suspense: Is Manny trying to save or destroy the US?
Villain: Joe B
Mystery: As the founder and president of the lobby firm, what role does Joe have with the foreign network?
Intrigue: Joe is very likeable but obsessed with money, politics, and foreign affairs.
Suspense: Who is Joe really and what is his relationship to the network?
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Big M.I.S.
What I learned doing this assignment is to brainstorm and tease out the story with the conventions, mystery, intrigue, and suspense.
Logline: A young lobbyist is recruited to join a new firm. On her first day, the man who recruited her places a jump drive in her hand and mutters: “It is up to you now. Don’t disappoint me”. She watches him slowly walk back to his office, open the door, and jump to his death. She struggles to understand why and launches a secretive search for the truth. As she investigates the jump drive information, she uncovers a dangerous coordinated network with one goal. To destroy the government of the United States. She must find who to trust as she works to expose the danger and save her country.
1. What are the conventions of your story?
Unwitting but Resourceful Hero: Charlotte
Dangerous Villain: Firm head partner Joe, foreign network
High Stakes: Government stability
Life and death situations: Charlotte must figure out who to trust in the firm. As she uncovers the firm’s contracts with foreign governments, she is able to link to politicians. The more information she uncovers, the higher the stakes are for her personally. They try to poison her at a cocktail dinner; drug her drink at a fundraiser; and intimidate her.
The story is thrilling because? Charlotte does not want to get involved but she feels obligated. Her investigation reveals a piece of the puzzle but never the full mystery. She doesn’t know who to trust and must take risks to protect herself and the information. In the world of politics, she must navigate the world of money and power to uncover and prevent the network’s plan.
2. Tell us the big M.I.S.
Big Mystery: What is the purpose of the network and how can Charlotte stop them?
Big Intrigue: Charlotte must conduct clandestine investigation and resources to reveal the network’s plans. Who coordinates the network and what do they want?
Big Suspense: Will Charlotte be exposed, forced to support the network, or be killed?
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Thriller Conventions
What I learned doing this assignment was to identify the key elements and key characters in a thriller.
I chose Miss Sloane – political thriller.
Unwitting but resourceful hero: Elizabeth Sloane cutthroat lobbyist
Dangerous Villain: Bill Sanford – gun manufacturer and her old firm Cole, Kravitz and Waterman. Senator is dangerous but the insight comes at the end with a twist to the story.
High stakes: Elizabeth is under a congressional investigation for an ethic violation that could end her career and send her to jail.
Life and Death situations: Elizabeth hires an advocate at her new firm to lobby gun control legislation. She was in a school shooting and is targeted on the street. The firm Elizabeth leaves tries to discredit her as she makes progress on the gun control legislation.
This movie is thrilling because – you do not know the outcome. Tension, suspense and intrigue are demonstrated in scenes and characters.
Big Mystery: Will she pass the gun control legislation, and will she survive the hearing?
Big Intrigue: Who to trust? What has she done to warrant the ethics investigation? What does her old firm have on her?
Big Suspense: Who is driving the congressional investigation? What role does the congressman play?
This movie also had several twists. When Elizabeth leaves her old firm, she takes most of the people with her except her closest ally refuses to leave. (setup) The payoff is the big reveal at the hearing. Jane was wiretapping the firm to reveal the congressman had taken bribes. Elizabeth seems to be one step ahead but does not reveal what she knows until the end of the movie.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Profound Map Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment was that I need to brainstorm my story more with the elements.
1. What is your Profound Truth? You have the choice to make a difference.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?
a. Old Ways: naïve, idealistic, book smart. Graduates law degree and wants to “change the world”.
b. Journey: Kathryn begins a new position at a very prestigious lobby firm. Her boss George brings her on board to manage a women’s health client issue. She wants to mix up the advocacy approach and George wants her to “play by the good ole boy rules”. Kathryn must learn the political system and players to passing lifesaving legislation.
c. New Ways: Kathryn develops relationships and forms a coalition of advocates committed to passing legislation. She applies her skills to guide the cause.
d. Transformational Logline: A naïve idealistic recent law graduate accepts a position to “change the world”. She finds her firm resistant to change, and a political system closed to outsiders. To survive, she builds a network of unlikely allies to change the world one step at a time.
3. Who are your Lead Characters?
a. Change Agent: George, Ford Smith
b. Transformational Character: Kathryn
c. Oppression: the firm, political environment
4. How do you connect with your audience in the beginning of the Movie?
a. Relatability: Recent law graduate, new position, excited but unsure of her role.
b. Intrigue: Kathryn maintains a distance from members in the firm. She observes the legislative process and notes key interactions.
c. Empathy: Kathryn fails to establish a coalition focused on the legislation by Christmas. She is given a deadline.
d. Likeability: Hard worker, does not give up when she fails. She is genuine in her relationships.
5. What is the Gradient of the Change?
a. EMOTIONAL GRADIENT: Desire for change. Kathryn wants to be able to influence policy. But she must develop new skills to be able to achieve her goals.
i. Excitement –
ii. Doubt
iii. Discouragement
iv. Hope
v. Discouragement
vi. Hope
vii. Courage
viii. Triumph
b. ACTION GRADIENT:
i. Set up: Kathryn wants to “change the world”. She states, “we cannot wait for progress we have to make progress.”
Payoff: Kathryn sees the end game will not be accomplished without small incremental successes and lots of tenacity. Steep learning curve.
Journey:
Kathryn tries to form a coalition but fails.
She finds someone to lead and establish social media campaign.
She presents facts to politicians with little no impact.
She changes approach and does research to use for influence.
She discovers her friend is not a serious lobbyist. Must separate.
Legislation is being blocked by large contributor. Fails.
Finds ethical mentor to guide her.
Changes approach again and has some impact.
Tenacity and due diligence succeed.
Payoff:
Establishes relationships with shared goal.
Learns how to influence the system.
Understands the game.
Challenge/Weakness Gradient:
Challenge: Kathryn told that “now you have a law degree” I will teach you to lobby.
Weakness: Education arrogance
Challenge: Instructed to focus on politicians.
Weakness: Lack of political knowledge.
Challenge: Advocates question her motive.
Weakness: Assumptions. Conflicting interests and goals.
Challenge: Hire a lobby firm for PR and media.
Weakness: Disbelief of media influencers. Shocked to discover power.
6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
MM1: Status Quo and Call to Adventure – First day on the joy is a disappointment as she meets each member of the lobby firm. She is given the task to develop a coalition of advocates to influence legislation.
MM2: Locked into Conflict – She begins to search for likely allies and contact them. She discovers that the advocates have an array of competing interests, and they don’t all like each other.
MM3: Hero tries to solve the problem but fails – Kathryn tries to convince the advocates to rally around the legislative cause and the gathering breaks into chaos. Ford attends and has serious doubts about her ability to do the job.
MM4: Hero forms new plan – Kathryn befriends one of the advocates who will support the legislation. She partners with her to increase reach and support.
MM5: Hero retreats and the antagonism prevails – Ford loses patience and informs her that she has 30 days to have the coalition support secured. Kathryn is under pressure.
MM6: Hero’s bigger, better plan – Kathryn looks at her options and realizes she has been trying to form a coalition the networking way. She decides to add in social media and reaches support across the state and the country. She elevates the issue!
MM7: Crisis and Climax – Kathryn reports to Ford all the progress that she has made. She is proud to secure advocates across the state. Ford is horrified that she has used social media. He states that she better have real people show up at the committee hearing – not emails!
MM8: New Status Quo – There are over 50 advocates sitting in the committee hearing room and have signed up to testify. The legislation passes out of committee and the coalition plans for the next hearing.
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
a. Challenge to educational arrogance: (Questioning) building a coalition has nothing to do with her law degree.
b. Challenge to naïve political beliefs: (Should work but doesn’t) how to conduct business in the political world has a lot to do with the collective party positions and individual legislator motivation.
c. Challenge to coalition member needs: (Questioning and Conflict) Coalition members question her motives.
d. Challenge to pure intentions: (Conflict) She employs a PR firm to help coalition with campaign.
e. Challenge to innocence: (Metaphor, PR firm represents power) Kathryn learns that press releases are published word for word and questions how much media is really just press releases from PR firms.
f. Challenge to innocence: (Metaphor, owner of her firm represents power through political contributions) Owner speaks about “watering the grass to get you on the field” “without this firm, you are nothing” “who are you to question me?” Kathryn discovers contributions that don’t make sense.
g. Challenge: Deception (Metaphor for who you do not want to be) Kathryn meets lobbyist with no morals or ethics.
h. Challenge: Credibility (Metaphor for who you do want to be) Kathryn meets an older lobbyist who has boundaries and ethics.
8. How are you presenting insights through profound moments?
a. Action: She attends morning boot camp and can never complete until the end. Insight: persistence pays off.
b. Action: Doubles tennis match. Insight: strategic thinking pays off.
c. Action: She researches politicians and uncovers some key donors. Insights: knowledge is power.
d. Action: She finds a funding pattern that cannot be explained. Insights: question everything, pay attention, and follow the money.
e. Action: She calls Liz out. Insight: maintain self-respect.
9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Height of emotion: “All of the issues we have discussed are very important to all of us. And all the issues we have discussed impact the people we care about. But if we try to work on all the issues at once, we will lose our power to make an impact. So, for this session, can we try to work on this once issue to see if we as a collective force can make a difference? Because if we can make a difference on this one, then we can grow our collective power to make a difference on all the issues. “
Height of emotion: To a lobbyist. “Don’t you care about your client’s cause?”
Build meaning over multiple scenes: To Liz, “you know Scarlett, tomorrow IS always another day”.
Height of emotion: Kathryn confronts Liz. “Look, you may be interested in dating married politicians, I am not. I did not bust my ass to get through law school to be someone’s “fuck for a session.”
Build meaning over multiple scenes: Names to describe other lobbyists: “FFS – fuck for session” “Biggest baddest” “Useful” “above board” “secret agenda man” “closers” “rainmaker”
Build meaning over multiple scenes: “Game face, show time” – before entering the political arena.
10. How Do You Leave Us with a Profound ending?
A. Profound Truth and Ending: Kathryn’s goal is to “change the world”. When she embarks upon her first coalition building assignment for the firm, she uncovers the truth of the political system. In her quest to gain support for legislation, she uncovers more layers that prevent her success. As she navigates the internal and external politics, she discovers a path forward and realizes that she can make a difference. And small incremental successes make a difference.
B. Lead characters ending represents the change:
Change agent Ford guides Kathryn through the coalition process and educates her on the political process. Feeling the heat from his boss, Ford tries to control her actions. She rebels. He accepts that he cannot control her.
Transformable character Kathryn meets obstacles both inside her firm and outside in the political landscape. She fails but finds a way to succeed by accepting small incremental successes that contribute to her overall plan to “change the world”.
C. Payoff Key Setups:
Setup: Kathryn states that the issue is bigger than this legislation.
Payoff: Kathryn sees the end game will not be accomplished without small incremental success and tenacity.
Setup: Kathryn states we cannot wait for progress, we must make progress.
Payoff: She takes a leadership role and gets the legislation passed.
Setup: Kathryn learns to chip away slowly and apply methodical leverage to inspire change.
Payoff: She can make a difference.
D. Surprising but inevitable. After a heated exchange with the firm’s owner, Kathryn walks out.
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line: Kathryn stands on the capitol steps and hesitates to enter. She observes the other people enter the capitol. She takes a deep breath and walks towards the door, “Scarlett, today IS another day. Game face, show time.”
-
Hi everyone, my name is Sherri Coffee and I am writing from Atlanta.
I have written 3 scripts that are not ready for prime time.
My career started in Marketing and Sales but after graduate school, I joined the Government Affairs profession.
I have traveled extensively but my favorite place is on a tennis court or a bike ride.
Look forward to learning with you!
-
Sherri D. Coffee
I agree to the terms of this release agreement.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Height of the Emotion
What I learned doing this assignment was to brainstorm lines to demonstrate the emotional moment with deeper meaning.
1. Emotion: “Not good enough” Kathryn gathers advocates to support legislation. When they begin advocating for other causes, she feels inadequate and begins to doubt her project. She becomes silent and listens as each advocate spouts a social injustice in need of attention. She validates each of the advocates and brings them back to her issue. “All of the issues we have discussed are very important to all of us. And all of the issues we have discussed impact the people we care about. But if we try to work on all of the issues at once, we will lose our power to make an impact. So, for this session, can we try to work on this once issue to see if we as a collective force can make a difference? Because if we can make a difference on this one, then we can grow our collective power to make a difference on all of the issues. “
2. Emotion: “Disappointment in reality” Kathryn attends happy hour with a group of lobbyists. She listens to the cynical portrayal of the “system”. She is disappointed to find that many of the powerful lobbyists have limited interest in the cause and are more focused on their own compensation. She asks naively, “Don’t you care what your clients’ cause means to our country?”
3. Emotion: “Fear” When Kathryn discovers her friend Liz is trying to set her up with a lawmaker, she runs. She pretends to receive a call and steps away to the ladies’ room as she ponders her predicament. She returns to find her “date” waiting. And in the most diplomatic way, delivers her exit. “Hi, it is so nice to meet you, but I have an issue that cannot wait.” She turns to Liz, “you know Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.” She resorts to humor to defuse her fear.
4. Emotion: “Anger” Kathryn confronts Liz. “Look, you may be interested in dating married politicians, I am not. I did not bust my ass to get through law school to be someone’s “good fuck for a session.”
5. Emotion: “Proud” Kathryn watches as the advocates present the information to support the legislation. She turns to her boss, “is this what if feels like to be a proud parent?”
Assignment 2:
1. “you know Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.” Kathryn first speaks at the bar with Liz to diffuse an awkward situation. She uses the line as a way of stating her “Scarlett O’hara” moment to postpone any decision or action. She buys time to find a solution based on logic vs impulse. When the legislation fails to pass the full legislature, Kathryn turns to the advocates, “Well Scarlett, tomorrow really is another day and another chance.”
2. Kathryn starts to label some of the lobbyists. “Fuck for a session” “Biggest baddest” “Useful” “Above board” “Secret Agenda man” “closers” “rain maker” to evaluate who she can trust. The end of the session reveals some twists in her initial assessment and the one least trustful becomes the most trustful.
3. Kathryn first enters the capital and is reminded by her boss not to speak of anyone or any policy in case someone is listening. “Silent Kathryn” She responds “game face, show time”. By the end of the session, she walks in the capital and turns to her boss, “game face, show time, how was your vacation?”
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Delivers Irony!
What I learned doing this assignment was to start with the insight and brainstorm opposites to illustrate.
1. New Way/Insight: Credibility
Kathryn waits for Liz to arrive. She is approached by a legislator at the bar and asks her if she wants a drink. As she declines, Liz arrives and slips her hands around his waist. He turns and tells her his friend (implied date for Kathryn) is running late. When Kathryn realizes Liz is setting her up, she fakes a phone call and steps away. She returns and apologizes for her exit. She thought Liz was a serious lobbyist but discovers she is not. Kathryn bails to maintain her credibility and avoids Liz’s calls. She gains the insight of credibility and loses a friend.
2. New Way/Insight: Motivation
Kathryn meets with a potential supporter of the legislation and discovers he will not support. She researches his motivation and discovers his major supporter opposes. She approaches the supporter and is able to find a way he can support. She learns how to play the game by seeking out the opposition.
3. New Way/Insight: Identity
Kathryn joins several lobbyists for a drink after work. She listens to the stories and realizes that she does not really feel a part of the club. She tries to fit in but leaves feeling empty. No one really cares about the policy issue. They care about how much they are getting paid. She contemplates who she wants to be and establishes her own identify to focus on issues that matter.
4. New Way/Insight: Credit and results through others
Kathryn coaches the lead advocate with the pr firm to prepare her for testimony and media presentations. She watches with pride as she delivers the messages. And when she is asked, she gives all the credit to the advocate.
5. New Way/Insight: Deals
Kathryn reaches out to opposing organizations and tries to negotiate an agreement for their support. She is misquoted and misrepresented in front of a legislator by the opposing organization. She corrects the statements and learns to be very careful with communications. A deal is not a deal until you see the statement or vote match the words.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Delivers Insights Through Conflict
What I learned doing this assignment is to brainstorm conflicts to reveal the insight and new way.
1. Conflict- Power Struggle – Kathryn holds an advocacy meeting to align the group on passing legislation. At the meeting, she has 2 advocates fighting to lead the coalition, but they have competing interests.
New Way/Insight- Ability to negotiate and manage conflict.
After the meeting, Kathryn brings the two together and discusses the need to have only one leader. She revisits the goals and asks them to decide between themselves who is up for the task. The more vocal advocate bows out and cites time constraints as an excuse. Kathryn has her leader.
2. Conflict – Stakes raised.
Kathryn meets with her boss and tells him of her progress. He confronts her. She is behind. Has she prepared the coalition to meet with committee members?
New Way/Insight – Keep advocates engaged and influence actions.
With the help of a PR firm, Kathryn produces materials and a timeline for meetings and advocacy.
3. Conflict – Competition
Kathryn identifies the organization most opposed to the legislation.
New Way/Insight -Strategic thinking. How to neutralize the competition. She reaches out to the lobbyist and asks what they are opposed to in the legislation and is there a fix? Compromise.
4. Conflict – Loss and dilemma
Kathryn fails to get the legislation on the committee agenda.
New way/Insight – Information is powerful. She researches all the committee members for interests, political votes, media, and funders. She discovers that the Chair of the committee is supported by a group opposed to the legislation.
5. Conflict – Misunderstanding
Kathryn meets with the Chair of the committee to ask him to place the legislation on the agenda. He declines.
New way/Insight – When the chair refuses, Kathryn researches every committee member to identify funders. She reaches out to the largest funders and gains their support. She has them contact the Chair to change his mind.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Turns Insights into Action
What I learned doing this assignment is to brainstorm actions that would demonstrate new ways.
1. Action: Kathryn attends a morning boot camp and finally is able to complete. Before, she never is able to finish the runs.
Insights: Persistence pays off.
2. Action: Kathryn plays doubles tennis with a group and analyzes the game to win.
Insights: Strategic thinking pays off.
3. Action: Kathryn researches the politicians on the committee who voted no on the legislation. She uncovers some facts that are key to her success.
Insights: Information is powerful.
4. Action: Another lobbyist tests Kathryn to break the rules, just this once. She walks away.
Insights: Maintain self-respect and do the right thing.
5. Action: Kathryn’s research reveals a funding pattern. She attends a fundraiser and is able to read the room to gain information.
Insights: Understand the other person’s motivation and perspective. Put yourself in another’s shoes.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Seabiscuit Analysis
What I learned doing this assignment was to demonstrate the insight of the transformation through action.
1. Action: Abandonment is evident in death of son; gives Red away; and loss of sight. Each man experiences abandonment and loss. Backdrop of the Great Depression also represents loss.
Insight: Bad things can happen, but the response and intentions will define your destiny.
2. Action: Horse runs fast and loses control just like the trainer.
Insight: Expression of anger in grief is part of the healing journey.
3. Action: Loses a few races and the stakes grow bigger.
Insight: Do not ever give up.
4. Action: Trainer is hurt. Horse is hurt. Both appear to accept fate.
Insight: Love can health. “Maybe it’s better to break a man’s let than his heart”.
5. Action: Seabiscuit becomes the symbol of the recovery from Depression; healing of the 3 men; and the restoration of hope across the country.
Insight: Believe. Have faith and hope for a better day.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Living Metaphors
What I learned doing this assignment was to evaluate each challenge and brainstorm why they fail and metaphors to demonstrate.
Challenge: Kathryn is arrogant and very confident that all she needs to do is find academic resources to support the legislation.
Why doesn’t it work? When she meets another lobbyist, she reveals that the facts may not matter. What matters are the constituents. And sometimes, they don’t matter, the donors matter most.
Challenge: Naive political knowledge.
Why doesn’t it work? The stakes are high in the lobby world. Competitive and lots of action behind the scenes to get legislation passed. Kathryn is unaware and uneducated in how politicians work.
Challenge: Coalition members cannot agree on talking points. Kathryn presents data and more data to support efforts.
Why doesn’t it work? Coalition members also have members with competing interests. the academic support is only one thread of information on the issue.
Challenge: Lobbying intentions.
Why doesn’t it work? Kathryn works for a prestigious firm with several clients. The advocates are skeptical until she provides a PR firm to help them. Then they are even more skeptical.
Challenge: Innocence.
Why doesn’t it work? Owner of firm talks about “watering the grass” of several politicians on the committee. She finds receipts of contributions and assumes they will support her legislation. Competing interests compel them to not support the legislation.
Challenge: Innocence. Metaphor for political donation is “watering the grass.” Fails because you can never have enough water. Someone else always waters more.
Challenge: Intentions. Firm represents some clients that support legislation that the advocates do not support.
Challenge: Arrogance. Kathryn is questioned by savvy advocate on her sources. Her source was a news article written by her firm.
Challenge: Deception. Kathryn meets lobbyist who has no morals or ethics. Metaphor for who you do not want to be.
Challenge: Credibility. Kathryn meets lobbyist who has boundaries and ethics.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Challenging Old Ways – Counterexamples
What I learned in this assignment is to apply challenges to the story to reveal the character transformation.
Challenges
(1) Challenge to education arrogance: Kathryn is told that “now that she has her law degree, I will teach you how to be a lobbyist.”
(2) Challenge to political naive beliefs: Kathryn is instructed how to conduct business in the political world. Focuses on politicians’ motivations.
(3) Challenge to coalition member needs: Kathryn assumes advocates would be more than happy to support access legislation. Several advocates question her motives.
(4) Challenge to pure intentions: Kathryn’s boss sets her up with a PR firm to create a coalition.
(5) Challenge to innocence: Kathryn discovers everything she does with the PR firm is published word for word.
Counterexamples
(1) Owner of lobby firm states that if you think they would support this issue out of the goodness of the issue, think again. ” I watered the grass.”
(2) Kathryn finds a savvy women’s health advocate that instructs her on the political system. She models the behavior of an ethical lobbyist.
(3) Kathryn’s boss models the old political “good ole boy” network.
(4) Woman working for another firm models the lobbyist you never want to be.
(5) Kathryn meets an upstanding lawyer who models behaviors that exhibit and ideal ethical lobbyist.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Old Ways challenge Chart
Old ways: Kathryn assumes her education has prepared her for success in lobby firm.
She is challenged when forming a coalition has nothing to do with her education.
Old ways: Kathryn assumes that politicians will care about women health issues.
She is challenged when she presents her facts, and they want to know what groups support.
Old ways: Kathryn assumes a female leader will be concerned with women health issue due to past media statements.
She is challenged when she is questioned on the issue and asked bluntly about why support.
Old ways: Kathryn tries to build a coalition to support issue with face-to-face meetings and group dinners.
She is challenged by the time constraint. She needs a cohesive coalition fast.
Old ways: Kathryn believes that politicians care about health issues.
She is challenged when they really care about how much the issue will cost.
Old ways: Kathryn believes once the politicians see the coalition behind the issue, they will support.
She is challenged when the politicians object to some of her coalition groups due to other advocacy issues. They do not consider her issue to be a single issue.
Old ways: Political systems plays by the rules and requires lobbyists to have a record.
Kathryn has no record with the political system and does not understand. She asks why and challenges the “way it’s always been done”.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – 12 Angry Men Analysis
What I learned doing this assignment was to really examine beliefs that lead the viewer to assume a position or a story outcome. The challenges create the steps of the transformational journey. A very effective way to layer the journey.
Assumption of guilt: The one juror challenges guild by stating that “sending a boy to die is not easy”.
Just want this over: Challenge -no one can convict unless actually sure.
Not caring: Challenge – “I can’t understand why you are so convinced?”
Prejudice: Challenge – when the man says the boy has not has an easy life.
Not looking beneath the surface: Challenge: questioning the boys relationship to his father.
Assuming the evidence is not questionable: Challenge- taking each step of the presented facts and questioning and/or verifying the story.
Assuming the witnesses were accurate: Challenge – old mans motivation and recreating his evidence. Also the women across the street.
Assuming the Defense Attorney did his job? Challenge – did he? Question motivation.
Assuming the case is completely logical: Challenge – is it?
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Profound Ending
What I learned doing this assignment is to work backwards and brainstorm the story to align with a profound ending. And that I need to brainstorm my story some more!
1. Profound Truth and Ending: Kathryn’s goal is to “change the world”. When she embarks upon her first coalition building assignment for the firm, she uncovers the truth of the political system. In her quest to gain support for legislation, she uncovers more layers that prevent her success. As she navigates the internal and external politics, she discovers a path forward and realizes that she can make a difference. And small incremental successes make a difference.
2. How do your lead characters come to an end in a way that represents the completed change?
Change agent Ford guides Kathryn through the coalition process and educates her on the political process. Feeling the heat from his boss, Ford tries to control her actions. She rebels. He accepts that he cannot control her.
Transformable character Kathryn meets obstacles both inside her firm and outside in the political landscape. She fails but finds a way to succeed by accepting small incremental successes that contribute to her overall plan to “change the world”.
3. What are the setup/payoffs that complete in the end of this movie, giving it deep meaning? Setup: Kathryn states that the issue is bigger than this legislation.
Payoff: Kathryn sees the end game will not be accomplished without small incremental successes and lots of tenacity.
Setup: Kathryn states that we cannot wait for progress, we have to make progress.
Payoff: End game plan towards progress
Setup: Kathryn learns to chip away slowly and apply methodical leverage to inspire change.
Payoff: She can make a difference.
4. Designing the end to have us see an inevitable ending and make it a surprise? After a heated exchange with the firm’s owner, Kathryn walks out and gives up.
5. What is the parting image/line that leaves us with the profound truth in our minds?
Kathryn stands on the capitol steps and with determination states “ok scarlett, you can fail tomorrow. Today we are going in”
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Connecting with Audiences
What I learned doing this assignment is to evaluate my characters for relatability and likeability. And to evaluate the story for actions that create empathy and intrigue for the character.
1. Characters to intentionally create a connection. Kathryn and Ford.
2. Relatability: Kathryn – recent law graduate begins new position at a prestigious lobby firm. She is new to the political world and feels excited but unsure of her role.
Ford – Kathryn’s boss hires Kathryn for a client who is focused on women’s health issues. Ford is a very seasoned and savvy lobbyist but does not have women’s health knowledge and does not want to learn. He hires Kathryn to create the coalition for his legislative needs.
Intrigue: Kathryn maintains a distance from members in the firm. She has a secret she does not want revealed.
Ford appears to have a good relationship with the head of the firm but there is tension. What is that tension and how does it impact Kathryn?
Empathy: Kathryn fails to establish a coalition focused on Ford’s legislation by the Christmas break. She is afraid she will get fired but works her new plan throughout the holiday.
Ford is frustrated by the demands of the firm.
Likeability: Kathryn works very hard. She does not give up when she fails. And she is genuine in her relationships.
Ford wants her to succeed. When Kathryn is alone for the holidays, Ford invites her to dinner with his family.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment was to map out the characters journey using the MMM.
1. Transformational Logline: A naive idealistic recent law graduate joins a prestigious lobby firm to “change the world”. She finds a firm resistant to change, and a political system closed to outsiders. To survive, she must develop the necessary skills to influence not only her firm but also the political environment they influence.
2. Change Agent: Kathryn Moore (desire for change) and
Ford Smith (forced change) Kathryn’s boss.
Transformational Characters: the firm, the politicians, Ford Smith.
3. Mini-Movie Structure
MM1: Status Quo and Call to Adventure
Kathryn graduates and accepts a position at a prestigious lobby firm. She begins her job with high hopes to “change the world” but her first day is full of appointments to meet each member of the firm. Ford, her boss gives her a first assignment: build a coalition to influence women’s health legislation.
Emotional gradient: Excitement
MM2: Locked into Conflict
Kathryn begins to call potential members to build a coalition and schedules an advocacy meeting. At the meeting, it is evident that the advocates have competing interests. Ford attends and has serious doubts about Kathryn’s ability to succeed.
Emotional gradient: Doubt
MM3: Hero tries to solve problem – but fails
Kathryn tries to contact additional advocates to add to her network. Can they agree to focus on a piece of legislation? She still cannot find a group to support the legislation.
Emotional gradient: Discouragement
MM4: Hero forms new plan
Kathryn starts over with her one advocate who is willing to support the legislation. Together they reach out far and wide to gain support. Ford is losing patience. He informs Kathryn that she has 30 days before the session starts and he expects to have coalition support.
Emotional gradient: Hope
MM5: Hero retreats and the antagonism prevails.
Kathryn does not have a cohesive coalition and she if running out of time and ideas. She reaches out to another lobbyist in the firm for help and is betrayed. Ford is furious that she cannot form a coalition.
Emotional gradient: Discouragement
MM6: Hero’s bigger, better plan
Kathryn looks back at her options. She realizes that she has been trying to build a coalition the old-fashioned way. Social media is the new way! She contacts her advocate, and they embark upon a social media campaign. By the end of the week, they have over 100 organizations to support the legislation!
Emotional gradient: Hope
MM7: Crisis and Climax
Kathryn walks into Fords office and presents her new coalition and the social media tools used to form. Ford is furious! Why in the world would you use social media? Don’t you know these things are handled behind the scenes? The legislation will be heard in the first committee at the end of the week. She had better have people, real people, not email people, there to testify or she is fired. Kathryn desperately reaches out to her coalition members to appear in person.
Emotional gradient: Courage
MM8: New Status Quo
Kathryn and Ford walk into the committee room. Over 50 advocates have signed up to testify for the legislation. Ford listens to each testimony with doubt. The committee passes the bill and he turns to shake Kathryn’s hand. This social media stuff is real effective. Maybe we can do this again. Kathryn meets her coalition members outside and they want to know….what’s next?
Emotional gradient: Triumph
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Three Gradients
What I learned from doing this assignment is to apply the progression of either a forced change or a chosen change and brainstorm story possibilities.
1. Emotional Gradient to use: Chosen Change.
2. Emotional gradient progress:
1. Emotion: Excitement
Action: Kathryn lands a new position at a prestigious lobby firm.
Challenge/weakness: She is asked to put together a coalition of women’s health advocates to support health policy legislation.
2. Emotion: Doubt
Action: Kathryn tries to apply her educational knowledge to build the coalition.
Challenge/weakness: When she presents a rational fact-based policy solution, she is met with several conflicts of competing interests.
3. Emotion: Hope
Action: Kathryn talks to people to learn what she is missing.
Challenge/weakness: She must find a common goal among the coalition to support the legislation.
4. Emotion: Discouragement
Action: Kathryn has to reorganize the coalition.
Action: She must get rid of the person she initially selected to lead the coalition.
Challenge/weakness: She must accept that she will make mistakes.
5. Emotion: Courage
Action: Kathryn admits her mistake.
Challenge/weakness: She is humbled by her failure.
6. Emotion: Triumph
Action: Kathryn cultivates a new leader for the coalition and moves the coalition closer to the goal.
Challenge/weakness: Guiding the coalition to influence policy makers.
-
<div>
</div>Sherri D. Coffee – 4B
1. Change in movie? Moving from the traditional expectations of society and education to a more independent thinking free of oppressive influences. Transformational journey: the students begin to find true passions.
2. Lead Characters: Change Agent: Mr. Keating. He is the educator responsible for providing the course information.
Transformable character: Neil Perry. He cannot stand up to his father who has deemed a physician career for him to pursue.
Oppression: His father.
3. Lured into the profound journey by watching the passion develop among the students. They are enamored with Mr. Keating because he is so different from anything or anyone else at the school. We connect because we can relate to the ability to explore and dream.
4. Neil Perry: does what his father wants. Embarks upon a new path to act.
5. Gradient of change: Will not disobey his father. Gives up being assistant editor. Forms the dead poet’s society. Connects with the poetry and begins to think for himself. Tries out for a play and gets the lead role. His father finds out and he stands up to his father. After his performance, his father again tells him he will go to Harvard and become a doctor. He cannot accept his fate and commits suicide.
6. Old way: parents decide what a child will be and what career is expected. Control and command. Beliefs are challenged because the child breaks out of the oppression to pursue passions.
7. Profound moments: Professor walks into the classroom and discovers students ripping up papers. he scolds until he realizes Mr. Keating is there. Neils wants to act but is reminded of his fathers’ expectations. When the students stand on the desks to honor Mr. Keating as he leaves.
8. Oh Captain, My Captain; Carpe diem; Find your own road; For the first time I know what I want to do whether my father wants me to or not; You live once and you should live on your own terms; boys, you must strive to find your own voice because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all; Most men leave lives of quiet desperation. Don’t be resigned to that breakout; words and ideas change the world.
9. The ending where the boys stand on their desks and call out to Mr. Keating – Oh Captain, My Captain, to honor him and demonstrate support for all he did for them.
10. Profound truth: Find your own passion and pursue. Don’t let other people decide your life path.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Lead Characters 4A
What I learned from this assignment is to flush out my characters more to create the tension of a profound story.
1.Transformational Journey Logline: A naive idealistic woman join a lobby firm to “change the world” of healthcare. She discovers an apathetic closed political system resistant to change. To “make lives better”, she must develop the necessary skills to change the stagnant policies.
2. Change Agent: George Connor is a very successful lobbyist. When he is hired by a women’s health client, he brings Kathryn on board to help him manage the account.
3. Transformable character: Kathryn Moore. After her mother dies from cancer, Kathryn embarks up on quest to improve medical policies for other patients to receive treatment.
4. The oppression: The political system is not very friendly to newcomers who do not know the inside game. Kathryn encounters obstacles that she could not imagine.
5. Betraying character: Kathryn befriends another new lobbyist. She is a cunning lawyer with a personal agenda. She begins an affair with the Speaker of the House and Kathryn is forced to cut ties.
-
Sherri D. Coffee -Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment was to structure the old ways and new ways to help construct the story and the journey.
1. Logline: A naive idealistic woman joins a lobby firm to build healthcare coalitions to “change the world”. She discovers an apathetic political system resistant to change. To “make lives better”, she must develop the necessary skills to penetrate the closed system.
2. Old ways: Naive. Lack of experience and political knowledge. Idealistic. She believes she can convince politicians to support better healthcare policies by sharing the facts. She continues to apply the logical data to all who will listen. Until she fails.
3. New ways: Knowledgeable and trained. Polished and well informed. Savvy. She learns what influences the system and leverages that knowledge to achieve her goals. She builds relationships to influence the system.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – First Three Decisions
What I learned doing this assignment is to take my initial story idea and brainstorm different choices and scenarios to create a beginning framework. And that it is important to maintain flexibility to create a more meaningful and deeper story through the process.
1. What is your profound truth? You have a choice and can make a difference.
2. What is the change your movie will cause with an audience? Empowers the audience to believe they can influence the world.
3. What is your Entertainment Vehicle that you will tell this story through? World of Politics
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Analysis of Groundhog Day
1. What is the Change? The change of this movie takes an egocentric, self-absorbed, and sarcastic man Phil Connor and presents him with a situation that he finds unbearable until he discovers love and compassion. What is the Transformational Journey? Phil is apathetic and condescending to everyone he meets. His journey is to move from the self-absorbed numb place he exists to a kind, compassionate, and caring person who obtains joy from helping others.
2. Lead Characters:
Change Agent: Rita is kind and caring but objective in her ability to see Phil’s flaws.
Transformable Character: Phil is the right character to deliver the profound journey because his flaws are relatable.
The oppression is living the same day over and over with no hope for escape in a small town he despises.
3. How are we lured into the profound journey? Phil is desperate to escape the town but is forced to stay due to the blizzard road closing. His desperation is relatable. What causes us to connect? He is stuck in the town he loathes and is faced with relatable obstacles. Cold shower, obnoxious insurance salesperson, and the repeat of the same day creates an empathy for Phil. What if we were trapped in the same day for an infinite amount of time?
4. Looking at the characters, who are changed the most, what is the profound journey.
Old way: Phil is obnoxious. He is so self-absorbed, that he can only express contempt judgement on people, places, and situations. He is also manipulative. He initially uses his predicament to his advantage by seducing women with his new knowledge.
New way: Phil becomes interested in life again. He opens up to provide people help when they need. He becomes humble. The love he feels for Rita allows him the vulnerability to become a caring man.
5. What is the gradient the change? What steps does the Transformational character go through as they were changing?
We meet Phil and he tells Rita and Ned he will be leaving the station soon.
He meets adversary when he is stranded in the town and wakes up at the same time to the same song and experiences the same day.
His interactions with the same people show his change. They highlight his thought process. The symbol of the puddle of water becomes the reminder that he is still stuck in his old way.
He finds out he can kill himself yet still live. The adventures provide Phil a framework for him to open himself up to life. With each adventure, he is changed. When he misses the puddle, he marks a growth moment.
When he asks Rita what her perfect man is, he listens to her response and tries to become that man. When he resorts to the only method he knows, manipulation, she sees through his game and calls him out. He realizes that he cannot just manipulate his way into her heart.
He begins to become a more authentic person by performing good deeds and expanding his world. From ice sculpting and piano lessons to helping the homeless man and saving the child from a tree fall, Phil embarks upon a personal soul melt.
With Rita, his interactions and conversations become more authentic and less manipulative.
Ultimately, Rita sees his sincere love and opens up to the relationship.
6. Old way challenged? When he manipulates Rita to obtain her love. She calls him out. He must change. Rita too must change. She sees through Phil’s manipulative attempts at love. But she continues to observe his evolution. When people in the town praise Phil for all he has done for them, she takes another look at him and is able to see the change.
7. What are the most profound moments of the movie? When Phil declares he will not “take it like a man” and “not going to abide by rules anymore” he is stating his intent to change. When Rita tells him he will “never love anyone but yourself” and slaps him “for making me care about you.”
When Phil kidnaps the groundhog and drives off the cliff, Rita and Ned watch.
When Phil hands money to homeless man, brings coffee to party, and begins to talk to townspeople.
When Phil shows Rita his ice sculpture of her face and he tells her he could sculpt her face from memory.
When Rita wakes up on his arm and it is a new day. Signals that Phil has completed his transformation.
8. Most profound lines of the move? “Cold out there everyday” Phil states his view on life. “Is there anything I can do for you today?” Phil transformed as a caring individual. “Today is tomorrow” Phil states the reality of what he has learned. The moments of today are the tomorrows. When Phil tells Rita she is the “kindest, sweetest person that I’ve ever met.” ” Wanted to hold you. I don’t deserve someone like you.” and see quotes in answer 7.
9. How does the ending payoff the setups of this movie? He stares at Rita when Ned points her out as his new producer. He likes her. His journey is based on his love for her.
10. What is the Profound Truth of this movie? The power of love can transform even the most wretched of souls.
-
Hi everyone! My name is Sherri Coffee and I am writing from Atlanta, GA. I have completed Screenwriting U Pro Series and Binge Worthy courses. To date, I have written 3 scripts but feel they need some additional efforts.
I am interested in learning the Profound Model skills to improve my writing skills.
My career started in Sales and Marketing but after obtaining a Masters’ in Health Care Administration and Policy, I took a turn into Government Affairs. And after all these years (24 to be exact), I am still fascinated by the process of turning policy ideas into a reality that can improve lives!
Look forward to learning with you.
-
Sherri D. Coffee
I agree to the terms of terms of this release agreement.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 15 Finished Wordsmithing!
What I learned doing this assignment was to examine each sentence, description, and action for succinct, clear and meaningful words.
I made several changes in my descriptions and dialogue. Most interesting is the succinct language adds to define the character better.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 14 Has Amazing Description!
What I learned doing this assignment is to add emotion after action. And when I begin with action, the description is much more concise and meaningful.
BEFORE:
Grace sits in the parking lot afraid to exit the car. She looks around and finally is able to exit the car.
AFTER:
Grace clutches the steering wheel and looks upward. She is afraid to get out of the car. Her eyes scan the parking lot for people. All clear. She slowly opens the car door to exit.
BEFORE:
Grace waits inside the lobby. Finally, she is able to enter her office.
Janney sits behind the large desk and watches Grace enter the room.
AFTER:
Grace walks with caution into Janney’s office. She is heartbroken.
BEFORE:
Janney holds her hands up to her ears.
AFTER:
Janney cusps her ears with her hands in pain.
BEFORE:
Grace fumbles in her purse and pulls out 2 cell phones.
AFTER:
Grace rummages in her purse and retrieves two cell phones. She finds the power button and turns each off.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 13 Has Great Introductions!
What I learned doing this assignment is to focus on the specific images and situations that will better demonstrate the world and allow the character to show some uniqueness.
I revised the scenes to have more action to better demonstrate the time period – 1886 – and the sub-world.
I added character action to 3 of my main characters. I am still looking for places that allow for irony and will continue to brainstorm to improve the descriptions.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 12 Description!
What I learned doing this assignment is that my descriptions are vague and do not create the visual that I intend. I’ve reworked several of them but there are many more to review.
BEFORE:
Train attendant walks down the hallway. Arrives at a cabin and knocks on the door and opens.
AFTER:
Train attendant walks down the hallway. He notices two women on a bench. They read with detail a Daly’s theatre playbook. He stops.
BEFORE:
The train attendant notices the play script and flirts.
AFTER:
He notices her beauty and attempts to flirt.
BEFORE:
Grace provides a serious look. The train attendant realizes his flirt is not welcome and recovers.
AFTER:
Grace is very serious about her profession. She resents the lack of virtue reputation of actresses. The train attendant blushes.
BEFORE:
Her chaperone Aunt Carrie laughs under her breath and turns to Grace as soon as the door shuts.
AFTER:
The chaperone Aunt Carrie laughs under her breath as the Attendant walks away. As soon as the door closes behind him, she turns to Grace
BEFORE:
Aunt Carrie looks up at Grace. She is very proud of her pretty and composed niece.
AFTER:
Aunt Carrie beams with pride.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 11 Best Dialogue
What I learned is that only having time to do a light review opens up the need for a deep dive. And that when I examine my dialogue, some can really be improved!
BEFORE:
DOCTOR
Grave situation I’m afraid. He is in a coma and not expected to recover. Do you have his medical power of attorney?
AFTER:
DOCTOR
I’m sorry to disrupt your argument but do either of you have a medical power of attorney?
They both shake their heads.
DOCTOR
Then we will keep him alive until you can document his wishes.
The Doctor walks out in frustration.
BEFORE:
CARLTON
I have some appointments today. Grace, I will be back tomorrow. It is a pleasure to meet you.
AFTER:
Grace sits next to Sam on the bed and takes his hand.
CARLTON
Can you find his paperwork?
Sam wishes he could move and warn Grace about Carlton. He regrets not telling her the truth.
GRACE
I will look tonight.
Grace turns back to Sam.
CARLTON
Fine. If you don’t find, I’ll check with my Mother. Otherwise, he could be on life support forever. And who is going to pay that bill?
Grace looks at Carlton and sees his greed. Carlton exits the room.
BEFORE:
bland interaction
AFTER:
WILSON
Grace, how can you live with a man for five years and not know anything about him?
GRACE
I loved him. I was so in love with him that I never wanted him to think I was here for his money. So I never asked any questions.
WILSON
How is that possible? You get paid to ask questions.
Grace sits down in exhaust.
GRACE
That’s different.
Wilson ponders the situation.
WILSON
Keep looking Grace. The vault will have a key. Do you want me to do a search for online documents? Why would Sam not have his paperwork together?
GRACE
I know. Crazy right?
WILSON
No, crazy is that you don’t know. Five years. Did you know he knew Senator Drew?
GRACE
No. Maybe I did not know him at all.
BEFORE:
ATTORNEY
I represent Carlton King’s interest. These are the documents he has on record for Sam. Do you have any updates?
Grace shakes her head.
ATTORNEY
You need to answer.
GRACE
No, I do not at the present time but I am still looking.
Sam can hear the conversation and is agitated.
SAM (O.S.)
Fucking Carlton. I knew I should have warned Grace.
The attorney hands her a copy of the document. Grace examines.
ATTORNEY
This will specifically states that if he is incapacitated, Carlton King has his medical power of attorney. And he has sole power of attorney to act in the best interest of Sam.
GRACE
Sam told me he had updated his will and made me the executor. Unfortunately, I have not been able to locate the document.
Wilson tries to read the Attorney’s face. Sam’s thoughts are delivered off screen.
SAM (O.S.)
Still the same Carlton. Why can’t I speak? Let me out of this place!
ATTORNEY
I also located the documents for the ownership of the apartment. Only Sam is on the deed. Do you have other information on your residence?
GRACE
Just my payments. To Sam.
Sam knows that he cannot stop what will happen.
SAM (O.S.)
Sorry Grace. So sorry.
Grace looks at the attorney and then at Wilson.
ATTORNEY
I know this is difficult. But Mr. King would like to move his father back to the house with hospice care. And he thinks it would be best if you were not there.
Grace rises and starts to speak but glances at the cell phone camera.
GRACE
You…want me…to leave? My house? Our home? Why in the world would you think I would want to leave the man I love? Are you fucking kidding me?
AFTER:
The attorney hands her a copy of the document. Grace examines.
ATTORNEY
This will specifically states that if he is incapacitated, Carlton King has his medical power of attorney. And he has sole power of attorney to act in the best interest of Sam.
GRACE
Sam told me he had updated his will and made me the executor. Unfortunately, I have not been able to locate the document.
Wilson tries to read the Attorney’s face. Sam’s thoughts are delivered off screen.
SAM (O.S.)
Still the same Carlton. Why can’t I speak? Let me out of this place!
Carlton enter the room.
CARLTON
Are we finished yet?
The attorney is surprised.
ATTORNEY
No, we are not Carlton.
He turns back to Grace. Carlton finds a spot to watch the show. He loves to see someone squirm.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 10 Dialogue 7 – 8
What I learned doing this assignment is to find opportunities to use action dialogue and develop subtext.
ACTION
Before
James walks in the room and holds up the document. Macgregor is alarmed as he sits on his death bed. Mary, Grace and the physician watch.
James
Are these your wishes?
Macgregor
Yes
After
James walks in the room and holds up the will. Macgregor watches cautiously as the physician administers morphine. Mary and Grace to the corner of the room.
James
Do you really expect me to provide for them after you are gone?
Macgregor
Yes James. I wrote out very detailed directions in the will you hold. Come. Let’s discuss.
James walks to the fireplace.
James
Father, I am letting you know now that I will not provide for the woman you married in haste. Mother was not even properly buried.
James tosses the will into the fire.
Macgregor rises from the bed in distress and walks towards James.
Macgregor
No James. No. My work. My wishes.
Macgregor collapses midway and Mary and the physician rush to his side.
ANOTHER SCENE ACTION
Before
Grace places the folder on his desk.
Grace
I just came by to deliver the documents you requested on the issue we killed last year in committee. We expect it to return.
Wilson
Ok. I will see what I can find out and let you know Saturday? When do you leave for Paris?
After
Grace pulls out the folder, hands to Wilson and speaks in a serious tone.
Grace
Here are the documents from last year. We killed the legislation in the ways and means committee.
Wilson looks through the file.
Wilson
Drew was the sponsor?
Grace
Yes. And we expect him to reintroduce.
Wilson smiles and closes the file.
Wilson
Looks like Saturday night’s fundraiser just got more interesting.
Grace stands up.
Grace
Thanks Wilson. Saturday is definitely an opportunity.
Grace walks to the door and stops.
Grace
I know I don’t have to say this but no electronic traffic on this issue. Phone calls only, ok?
Wilson
Of course Grace.
SUBTEXT
Before
I had my character Sam going into a coma while the politician was speaking. I had them connected in my outline but did not demonstrate in the script.
After
I changed to orchestrate an encounter where the politician recognizes Sam. Grace and Wilson see the interaction and ask Sam about knowing him and he does not answer.
Sam walks towards the bar. The doors open and Senator Drew and wife enter the ballroom.
Sam tries to avoid but the Senator sees him.
Senator Drew
Sam King. What in the world brings you here?
They shake hands. Grace and Wilson watch and try to hear the rest of the conversation.
Wilson
Does Sam know him?
Grace continues to watch the friendly interaction.
Grace
Apparently. He never told me.
Senator continues to walk to the stage. Grace looks at Sam with doubt and confusion.
Wilson watches Grace.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 9 Dialogue 4 – 6
What I learned was to check for setup/payoff and to add anticipatory dialogue to increase intrigue and interest.
Setup/payoff:
Before: “Your mother is upstairs with Mr. Steele. Stable yourself. He has lost about 60 pounds since you last saw him but his mind is strong.”
After: “Your mother is upstairs with Mr. Steel.”
Grace grabs the paper and runs up the steps.
“Stable yourself”
Grace enters the room and sees an emaciated figure of the man she knew.
Anticipatory dialogue:
Before: “I just came to deliver the documents you requested on the issue we killed last year. We expect it to return”
After: “Here are the documents you requested. We killed the bill last year in the committee”
Wilson reviews the documents.
“This bill was refiled yesterday.”
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 8 Dialogue 1 + 2
What I learned doing this assignment is to increase the banter so that it elevates the conflict. And it is important to have the direct attack/counterattack for tension.
I changed a scene from having an attorney deliver the message to having the attorney AND the competition deliver the message. The dialogue elevates the tension between the 2 opposite characters and establishes some sympathy for my lead character.
I checked the lines of my main character dialogue and reworked some of the lines to better demonstrate character.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 7 Completed P/S Grid #2
What I learned doing this assignment is to brainstorm more ways to create distress so that the character is able to solicit empathy. I reworked the teaser to create a situation that includes undeserved misfortune, the witness to the pain of another, a major loss and an undeserved misfortune.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 6 P/S Grid 1
What I learned from this assignment was to examine my story for problems and brainstorm the solutions to fix.
I reworked the teaser to create a more interesting sub-world and provide a better glimpse into my main character.
I strengthened the big picture conflict by better defining the character goals to create opposition.
A work in progress….but I can do this!
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 5 Finished writing Act 4 & 5
What I learned is to continue moving forward with writing. Resist the current urge to change the whole story and keep thinking “you can do this”.
-
Sherri Dl Coffee Module 4 Lesson 4 Finished Act 3
What I learned was to move forward and keep moving forward until the act is finished.
And accept that it is a draft at this point.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 3 Finished Act 2
What I learned in this assignment is that I use the 1)empowering self talk, 2)writing in draft, and 5) keep moving consistently. I need some improvement and some more experience in 3) choosing speed over quality and the practice of 5)not stalling out. And I have not been able to incorporate 4) starting without all the answers. And I actually enjoy the use of the high speed writing rules!
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 2
What I learned doing this assignment was to continue to use the affirmation, “you can do this” to write Act 1 from my outline. And it is comforting to know this is a draft!
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 4 Lesson 1 Teaser/High Speed Writing
I found it refreshing to write without trying to perfect the scene. I added the mental “I can do this” affirmation to motivate me to continue. And I gave myself permission not to know all the answers and completed a draft teaser with 8 pages.
What I learned is that the high speed writing module is effective when I have a detailed draft.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 12 Intrigue
What I learned was to focus on each scene and ask the questions to uncover intrigue and build in other components.
TEASER
EXT. Brooklyn Train Station 1884 – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD
Grace arrives by train and is escorted to her home in Brooklyn. She learns from her mother that her stepfather is dying. Fear grips them when his son arrives and confronts his father about the will.
Start: Grace returns by train to her home in Brooklyn. (MYSTERY WHY?)
Situation: Her stepfather is dying. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Conflict: How will Grace and her mother survive once her stepfather is gone? (SETUP)
Action: The son arrives to speak to the father and finds his will leaving most of the money to his stepmother Mary. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND OPEN LOOP)
Finish: He confronts his father. (SETUP)
INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY: SECRET, HIDDEN AGENDA, IMMINENT THREAT
The somber household receives a welcome guest. Mr. Daly is a theatre producer and has seen Grace act in the Boston Theatre Group. Grace and her mother try to keep the condition of her stepfather a secret but a visit from his son disrupts the plan. Loud voices are heard above the parlor as Mr. Daly extends an offer to join his theatre ensemble to Grace. The voices become louder. Her stepfather on opiates is loudly arguing with his son over his will. Grace’s mother breaks society rules and leaves her daughter. She walks into the room to see the son toss the will into the fire.
Situation: Grace receives Mr. Daly from Daly’s Theatre. (OPEN LOOP)
Challenging Situation: Grace does not want Mr. Daly to know how desperate she is to obtain a place in his theatre ensemble group. Her stepfather is on opiates and loudly yells from upstairs. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Conflict: Her stepfather is arguing with his son over his will. The son has found the will and is unhappy that his stepmother is getting any money! Her mother is by her side and tries to minimize the situation by continuing the polite conversation. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND SETUP)
Action: Stepfather high on opiates yells for Mary to come quickly. She struggles to break society rules by leaving Grace alone with Mr. Daly. Grace wonders if she will get the invitation to join the theatre company. (MYSTERY)
Finish: When she enters the room, the son tosses the will into the fire. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
INT. Brooklyn Home – NIGHT: CONSPIRACY
Mary and Grace frantically search the house for another copy of the will. Her husband is high on opiates and of no help. They must find another copy before he dies. After an exhausting search lasting through the night, they return to Mr. Steele’s bedroom to find him dead.
Start: Mary and Grace search the house for another copy of the will. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP)
Challenging Situation: The former Brooklyn Politician is high on opiates and is delirious. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Conflict: Mary and Grace cannot find the will and run out of time. (PAYOFF)
Action: Mr. Steele slips into death, and they continue to search for the will. (PAYOFF)
INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY: DECEPTION AND CONSPIRACY
Mary and Grace have not found the will and the son is at the door. They do not want him to know he is dead. They finally must allow him in the room and acknowledge the death. The son produces a 2-page handwritten will with his father’s signature.
Start: Mary and Grace continue to search for the will. (SETUP)
Challenging Situation: The son is at the door, and they do not want him to know he is dead. (OPEN LOOP)
Conflict: The son arrives and wants to see his father. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Action: Mary and Grace must let him in the room and acknowledge his death. But they lie and say they found the will. (SETUP)
Finish: The son produces a 2-page handwritten will with his father’s signature and challenges them to produce the document. (OPEN LOOP)
INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY: WOUND AND MYSTERY
Mary ad Grace stare at the Auction sign in their home. They must leave. With meager resources to last until Grace starts on stage, they must find a place to live.
Start: Mary and Grace stand outside their former home and stare at the Auction sign in the window. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Challenging Situation: They must leave their home and belongings and move. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Conflict: They worry about resources and must get by until Grace starts with the Daly company in 6 weeks. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP, SETUP)
Action: They say goodbye and search for a new place to live in Manhattan. (SETUP)
Finish: They arrive at a very simple and small flat. (PAYOFF)
INT. Daly’s Theatre – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD
Grace arrives on her first day of rehearsals with the Daly Company. She is shy and is immediately tested by Mr. Daly. He demands perfection, never sleeps, and works the ensemble long hours to prepare for opening night.
Start: Grace arrives for rehearsals. (OPEN LOOP)
Challenging Situation: She is new to the company. (OPEN LOOP)
Conflict: Mr. Daly is very demanding. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND SETUP)
Action: She must rehearse in the morning, afternoon, and after the play closes for the night in preparation for opening night of the show. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND SETUP)
Finish: Opening night performance (SETUP)
INT. Daly’s Theatre – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD
Patrons enter the theatre, and the play begins. In the middle of an act, Grace forgets her lines. She covers the mistake by moving around the stage to each of the actors and is finally saved by the stage manager. But instead of the blunder being shunned, the mistake endears her to the audience, and they give her a standing ovation. But Mr. Daly thinks the cheers are for his star. When the audience screams her name, Grace has no choice but to go back to the stage. Half-dressed with shawl over her shoulder, she peeks from behind the curtain to bow to the standing audience applause. A bouquet of lilacs is thrown from the proscenium box and lands at her feet. She looks up and sees 2 men smiling.
Start: Patrons enter the theatre through the lobby and other select patrons enter in a private door to reach box seats. (MYSTERY, SETUP)
Challenging Situation: The play begins and in the middle of an act, Grace forgets her lines. She goes to each person and finally recovers. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Conflict: The curtain closes and instead of noting Grace’s forgetfulness, they praise her performance. The audience yells her name to return. She sits terrified in her dressing room looking at the list of Daly’s rules. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Action: The stage manager comes to get her, and she grabs a lace shawl over her shoulder. She peeks behind the stage curtain and curtseys to the applause. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Finish: A bouquet of lilacs lands at her feet thrown from the 2 men in the proscenium box.
INT. Theatre dressing room – NIGHT: HIDDEN AGENDA
Start: Mr. Daly arrives to greet Grace and her mother in her dressing room. (SETUP)
Challenging Situation: He has been made aware of her forgetting her lines. (PAYOFF)
Conflict: She has broken one of his rules that are posted on the dressing room wall. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Action: Mr. Daly fines her $10 for the week. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
INT. Psychic Office – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD
A psychic guides Grace back from her past life but she does not want to return. The psychic tries to coax her back and finally resorts to loud claps to hasten her return. Grace recognizes Sam.
Start: The psychic guides Grace back from her past life. (OPEN LOOP)
Challenging Situation: She does not want to return. (SETUP)
Conflict: The psychic gently reminds her of her life here and now. (MYSTERY)
Action: The psychic claps her hands and Grace awakes. (IRONY)
Finish: Grace wonders who threw her lilacs? (OPEN LOOP)
INT. Grace bedroom – NIGHT: SECRET
Grace gets dressed for formal fundraiser and tells Sam about the psychic visit. She wonders if he has forgotten their 5<sup>th</sup> year anniversary. He is skeptical but secretly wonders if the psychic would help with his medical condition. He tries to hide the physical pain but Grace notices. He changes the topic by adding a diamond necklace to her neck to complete the dress.
Start: Grace gets dressed in formal attire and wonders if Sam has forgotten their anniversary as he asks about her day. (MYSTERY)
Challenging situation: Sam tries to hide his physical pain. Grace can see the disease has gotten worse. (SETUP)
Conflict: Sam does not believe in psychics; he is a medical doctor. He does not want to discuss his condition. (IRONY)
Action: Sam changes the conversation and produces a happy anniversary beautiful diamond necklace to complete her dress. (PAYOFF)
Finish: They arrive at the fundraiser just as a politician’s indictment comes across the phone. (MYSTERY AND OPEN LOOP)
INT. Fundraiser – NIGHT
Grace searches her phone for any updates on the indictment. The fundraiser is for the indicted politician and she must decide if she wants to leave the check. She pulls a political operative Wilson aside and asks for inside information. He only knows the rumors of a sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Someone comes and grabs Grace. Sam has fallen unconscious.
Start: Grace searches her phone for news on the indictment. (MYSTERY)
Challenging situation: the fundraiser is for the indicted politician. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Conflict: Should Grace leave the check? (SETUP AND EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Action: Grace sees Wilson and pulls him aside to question on the indictment. She decides to hold the check. Rumors of sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Lady comes and grabs Grace by the arm. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP, EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Finish: Sam has collapsed outside the ballroom. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS, OPEN LOOP)
INT. Hospital room – DAY: HIDDEN AGENDA, DECEPTION, SECRET IDENITITY, SUSPICION, WOUND
Sam is in a coma. His cancer has spread and his condition is grave. As Grace sits by his side hoping for a miracle, a man arrives. He is Sam’s estranged son and he intends to take over his father’s affairs. Grace meets Wilson and hires him to investigate. Carlton continues his plan to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life.
Start: Sam is in a coma. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)
Challenging Situation: His condition is grave. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND MYSTERY)
Conflict: His estranged son Carlton arrives. Grace does not know him but recognizes him from a financial show. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP)
Action: Grace leaves and meets with Wilson. Asks him to investigate Carlton. (OPEN LOOP, MYSTERY)
Finish: Carlton intends to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life. (OPEN LOOP)
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 11 Scene Requirements
What I learned doing this assignment is by answering the questions for each scene, I am able to really evaluate the purpose of the scene. Does it provide a challenging situation, a conflict, or an action. Based on this lesson, I reworked the beats for my teaser and am rethinking the remaining acts. Listed below is the rework.
A Story: Past life journey to unravel secrets and unfinished business.
B Story: Family relationships and romantic relationships.
C Story: Politicians, financiers, lobbyists, media, and theatre.
TEASER
EXT. Brooklyn Train Station 1884 – DAY
Grace arrives by train and is escorted to her home in Brooklyn. She learns from her mother that her stepfather is dying. Fear grips them when his son arrives and confronts his father about the will.
Start: Grace returns by train to her home in Brooklyn.
Situation: Her stepfather is dying.
Conflict: How will Grace and her mother survive once her stepfather is gone?
Action: The son arrives to speak to the father and finds his will leaving most of the money to his stepmother Mary.
Finish: He confronts his father.
INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY
The somber household receives a welcome guest. Mr. Daly is a theatre producer and has seen Grace act in the Boston Theatre Group. Grace and her mother try to keep the condition of her stepfather a secret but a visit from his son disrupts the plan. Loud voices are heard above the parlor as Mr. Daly extends an offer to join his theatre ensemble to Grace. The voices become louder. Her stepfather on opiates is loudly arguing with his son over his will. Grace’s mother breaks society rules and leaves her daughter. She walks into the room to see the son toss the will into the fire.
Situation: Grace receives Mr. Daly from Daly’s Theatre.
Challenging Situation: Grace does not want Mr. Daly to know how desperate she is to obtain a place in his theatre ensemble group. Her stepfather is on opiates and loudly yells from upstairs.
Conflict: Her stepfather is arguing with his son over his will. The son has found the will and is unhappy that his stepmother is getting any money! Her mother is by her side and tries to minimize the situation by continuing the polite conversation.
Action: Stepfather high on opiates yells for Mary to come quickly. She struggles to break society rules by leaving Grace alone with Mr. Daly.
Finish: When she enters the room, the son tosses the will into the fire.
INT. Brooklyn Home – NIGHT
Mary and Grace frantically search the house for another copy of the will. Her husband is high on opiates and of no help. They must find another copy before he dies. After an exhausting search lasting through the night, they return to Mr. Steele’s bedroom to find him dead.
Start: Mary and Grace search the house for another copy of the will.
Challenging Situation: The former Brooklyn Politician is high on opiates and is delirious.
Conflict: Mary and Grace cannot find the will and run out of time.
Action: Mr. Steele slips into death and they continue to search for the will.
INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY
Mary and Grace have not found the will and the son is at the door. They do not want him to know he is dead. They finally must allow him in the room and acknowledge the death. The son produces a 2 page handwritten will with his father’s signature.
Start: Mary and Grace cannot find the will.
Challenging Situation: The son is at the door, and they do not want him to know he is dead.
Conflict: The son arrives and wants to see his father.
Action: Mary and Grace must let him in the room and acknowledge his death.
Finish: The son produces a 2-page handwritten will with his father’s signature.
INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY
Mary ad Grace stare at the Auction sign in their home. They must leave and move to Manhattan to begin a new life. With meager resources to last until Grace starts on stage, they enter into the very simple and small Manhattan flat.
Start: Mary and Grace stand outside their former home and stare at the Auction sign in the window.
Challenging Situation: They must leave their home and belongings and move to Manhattan. The son produces the handwritten will that leaves everything to him.
Conflict: They worry about resources and must get by until Grace starts with the Daly company in 6 weeks.
Action: They say goodbye to people they love and board the train to a new life.
Finish: They arrive at the very simple and small flat.
INT. Daly’s Theatre – DAY
Grace arrives on her first day of rehearsals with the Daly Company. She is shy and is immediately tested by Mr. Daly. He demands perfection, never sleeps, and works the ensemble long hours to prepare for opening night.
Start: Grace arrives for rehearsals.
Challenging Situation: She is new to the company.
Conflict: Mr. Daly is very demanding.
Action: She must rehearse in the morning, afternoon, and after the play closes for the night in preparation for opening night of the show.
Finish: Opening night
INT. Daly’s Theatre – NIGHT
Society classes enter the theatre and the play begins. Grace forgets her lines and finally recovers. Instead of the blunder being shunned, the mistake endears her to the audience and they give her a standing ovation. But Mr. Daly thinks the cheers are for his star. When the audience screams her name, Grace has no choice but to go to the curtain. Half dressed with shawl over her shoulder, she peeks from behind the curtain, thanks the patrons, and looks up to see Sam in the proscenium box.
Start: Patrons enter the theatre through the lobby and other select patrons enter in a private door to reach box seats.
Challenging Situation: The play begins and in the middle of an act, Grace forgets her lines. She goes to each person and finally recovers.
Conflict: The curtain closes and instead of noting Grace’s forgetfulness, they praise her performance. The audience yells her name to return. She sits terrified in her dressing room looking at the list of Daly’s rules.
Action: The stage manager comes to get her, and she grabs a shawl over her shoulder. She peeks behind the stage curtain and curtseys to the applause.
Finish: She looks up to see Sam sitting next to a man in the proscenium box seat.
INT. Psychic Office – DAY
A psychic guides Grace back from her past life but she does not want to return. The psychic tries to coax her back and finally resorts to loud claps to hasten her return. Grace recognizes Sam.
Start: The psychic guides Grace back from her past life.
Challenging Situation: She does not want to return.
Conflict: The psychic gently reminds her of her life here and now.
Action: The psychic claps her hands and Grace awakes.
Finish: Grace recognizes Sam.
INT. Grace bedroom – NIGHT
Grace gets dressed for formal fundraiser and tells Sam about the psychic visit. He is skeptical but secretly wonders if the psychic would help with his medical condition. He tries to hide the physical pain but Grace notices. He changes the topic by adding a diamond necklace to her neck to complete the dress.
Start: Grace gets dressed in formal attire as Sam asks about her day.
Challenging situation: Sam tries to hide his physical pain. Grace can see the disease has gotten worse.
Conflict: Sam does not believe in psychics; he is a medical doctor. He does not want to discuss his condition.
Action: Sam changes the conversation and produces a beautiful diamond necklace to complete Grace dress.
Finish: They arrive at the fundraiser just as a politician’s indictment comes across the phone.
INT. Fundraiser – NIGHT
Grace searches her phone for any updates on the indictment. The fundraiser is for the indicted politician and she must decide if she wants to leave the check. She pulls a political operative Wilson aside and asks for inside information. He only knows the rumors of a sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Someone comes and grabs Grace. Sam has fallen unconscious.
Start: Grace searches her phone for news on the indictment.
Challenging situation: the fundraiser is for the indicted politician.
Conflict: Should Grace leave the check?
Action: Grace sees Wilson and pulls him aside to question on the indictment. She decides to hold the check. Rumors of sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Lady comes and grabs Grace by the arm.
Finish: Sam has collapsed outside the ballroom.
INT. Hospital room – DAY
Sam is in a coma. His cancer has spread and his condition is grave. As Grace sits by his side hoping for a miracle, a man arrives. He is Sam’s estranged son and he intends to take over his father’s affairs. Grace meets Wilson and hires him to investigate. Carlton continues his plan to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life.
Start: Sam is in a coma.
Challenging Situation: His condition is grave.
Conflict: His estranged son Carlton arrives. Grace does not know him but recognizes him from a financial show.
Action: Grace leaves and meets with Wilson. Asks him to investigate Carlton.
Finish: Carlton works to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 10 Beat Sheet
What I learned from doing this assignment is to focus on the stories A, B, and C and how they fit together.
Show Concept: A successful lobbyist must unravel the mystery of her past life in a world of money, power, and family secrets to escape her present-day danger.
Inciting Event: When Sam slips into a coma, his estranged son Carlton arrives to take control of his affairs and cut Grace out of his life.
Story A: Past life mission to unravel secrets and unfinished business that endanger her today.
Story B: Family issues/relationships
Story C: Politicians, financiers, lobbyists, and media.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>TEASER
INT – Library
Description: Grace peruses the books on the shelf and selects a few. With political news of an indictment in the background, she walks to the sofa and selects the items one by one placing them neatly in a box. She logs onto the computer and prints some documents.
INT – MD Office
Description: Sam sees patients in a busy physicians’ office. He receives a phone call that changes his bedside demeaner.
INT- Grace bedroom.
Grace dresses for a formal dinner fundraiser.
INT – MD Office
Sam changes into a tux for the fundraiser.
INT – Fundraiser at private club
Grace and Sam interact with politicians, lobbyists, and philanthropists and discuss the indictment. A shock and concern to everyone.
INT – Grace and Sam apartment
For their fifth anniversary, Grace surprises Sam with a trip to Paris and he asks her to be the executor of his will.
ACT 1:
INT – Library
Sam sits at the desk and works on his Last will and testament. He watches the financial news closely.
Financial news speculations link with indictment.
EXT – Outside Park
Grace is with a trainer and talks about trip to Paris and her relationship with Sam.
INT – Carlton’s office Wall Street
The man on the tv is in his office on the phone. His administrative assistant arrives with 2 lawyers, and he is served papers. He hangs the phone up and places another call and leaves message for his mother to call him back.
INT – Sam and Grace apartment building
Sam takes the elevator down to the basement storage unit. He sits on a chair and sifts through papers. He places in a box and labels, FOR GRACE.
INT – Grace stops at the French restaurant and picks up food and returns home to find Sam unconscious.
ACT 2
INT – Hospital room
Sam is unconscious hooked up to several machines. Grace sits by his bedside and waits for any sign of life.
INT – Carlton’s office Wall Street
Carlton reads through his ex-wife’s case against him while he listens to the indictment news. He receives the new and immediately makes plans to be out of the office.
INT – Hospital room
Grace awakes to the MD and Carlton. She recognizes Carlton from the TV and finds out he is Sam’s estranged son. He is here to take over Sam’s affairs.
INT – Grace and Sam’s apartment
Grace returns home to find Mia the housekeeper. They search for any documents that concern Sam’s estate. Later that night, Grace calls Wilson, an unscrupulous political operative to investigate the situation.
INT – Hospital room
Grace with doctor and nurse: Without medical power of attorney, there is nothing they can do. Grace calls an attorney and explores her options.
Later that afternoon, Carlton arrives with documents from an attorney that give him power over Sam’s affairs. He asks Grace when she can move out. He would like to move his father to his home for hospice.
ACT 3
INT – Grace and Sam’s apartment
Grace reminisces about Sam and continues to search for documents.
Later she receives a call from Wilson who lets her know that something doesn’t match up with Carlton’s hedge fund. He needs more time and offers her a place to stay. She asks him about the indictment.
Grace exhausts options to stay in her home with no success and starts packing.
ACT 4
INT – Hospital room
Carlton is on phone and explains to his mother that he will take control of Sam’s affairs.
Grace arrives and Carlton asks her to say goodbye to Sam. Grace is heartbroken and must move out by the end of the week.
INT – Grace’s car
Grace meets Wilson at the apartment building to view the apartment. Investigation continues and uncovers more danger.
Grace moves. The box with FOR GRACE is accidentally delivered to her neighbor.
ACT 5
INT – Hospital room
Sam wakes up from the coma and asks for Grace. Carlton tells him she has left.
INT – Grace apartment
Grace wakes up to loud music and the smell of pot. She walks out on the balcony to see her next door neighbor smoking weed.
EXT – Grace apartment
Harmony Rose meets Grace. She points out a man in a car with a camera across the street and tells Grace about the box. Wilson calls with more information that links Carlton with the indictment.
INT – Staircase to basement
Harmony Rose and Grace race down the staircase with the box. Grace falls and lands on a 1884 NYC stage.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 9 Setting up the Future
What I learned doing this assignment is to really focus on the set ups in the pilot and make sure they ask big picture questions and set up for future episodes.
What is the past life relationship with Grace, Sam and Carlton?
What happened in the past life that places Grace in danger today?
What do Sam and Carlton have to hide?
-
Module 3 Lesson 8 Empathy and Distress
What I learned doing this assignment is to explore all forms of empathy and distress to make the story more impactful.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 7 Open Loops and Mysteries
What I learned doing this assignment is to gain clarity on the main mystery and build open loops to support the series’ ongoing intrigue.
Main Mystery: Why is Grace in danger?
Sub-mysteries:
Why are Sam and Carlton estranged?
What happened to Sam’s money?
What does Carlton have to hide?
What is Carlton threatened by Grace?
What does Wilson uncover that places Grace in danger?
What happened in the past that influences today?
Main Open Loop: What is Grace going to discover in her past life that places her in danger today?
Sub-open loops:
Who were Grace, Sam, and Carlton in the past life?
What was their connection?
What happened in the past?
What clues can Grace find in the past that may influence today’s danger?
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 6 Stacks Intrigue
Act 1:
Intrigue: Grace shops for all things related to Paris.
Intrigue: Sam gathers box from basement and labels.
Hidden agenda: Grace and Sam both arrive at dinner with news.
Wound: Sam is dying
Act 2:
Intriguing world: Grace attends political fundraiser.
Hidden agenda: Sam completes Last will and testament.
Mystery: Who is the financial advisor on tv Sam watches?
Wound: Sam falls into a coma
Act 3:
Deception: Carlton arrives to help.
Secret identity: Carlton is the financial advisor on tv and Sam’s son.
Conspiracy: Carlton works with an attorney.
Act 4:
Mystery: Where is the missing money?
Secret: Carlton hides documents from Grace.
Wound: Grace must move out of their home.
Intrigue: Grace hires Wilson, the unscrupulous political operative to investigate Carlton.
Act 5:
Conspiracy: Grace works with Wilson to uncover corruption.
Intrigue: What is the corruption connection? Why is Grace being followed?
Hidden Layer: Carlton and Sam have a money history.
Hidden Agenda: Carlton’s mother wants her money back.
Secret: Sam knows where the money is hidden.
Strange behavior: Grace’s neighbor next door.
Intriguing world: 1884 past life ties them together.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 5 Layers and Reveals
What I learned is to elevate the story and connect the layers, reveals and coverups. A work in progress on the learning curve!
Layer: Sam receives phone call with some bad news.
Reveal: At dinner, he reveals the news to Grace.
Layer: Grace is a lobbyist focused on women’s health issues.
Reveal: She is pragmatic and ruthless to get results. She fires a coalition leader and replaces her to get results.
Cover up: Who is the financial guy that Sam watches in the morning?
Reveal in Act III – it is his estranged son Carlton.
Layer: Carlton arrives and befriends Grace.
Reveal: Carlton is using her to gain information that he can use to remove her as executor.
Cover up: Carlton hides the ongoing financial threat from his ex-wife.
Layer: Sam is a successful retired physician.
Reveal: He is very engaged with his investments and money.
Cover up: Sam invests money with Carlton during his divorce to hide offshore and Carlton lost the money. But did he?
Layer: Carlton’s mother and Sam’s ex-wife threatens to reveal Carlton’s hidden money unless she gets the rest of Sam’s estate.
Reveal: Grace’s investigator discovers some improprieties that do not make sense. Can he find?
Layer: Grace’s psychic neighbor is a reluctant psychic content with living her hippie life.
Reveal: When she accidentally receives the box meant for Grace, she must get involved.
Grace was her daughter in a past life.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 4 Character Story Lines
What I learned was to look at specific characters and differentiate each journey and role in the story.
Teaser:
Essence: (Grace opening) High level VO with Grace review bad dates and how long it took her to find Sam. She plans a trip for them to go to Paris to celebrate their 5<sup>th</sup> anniversary and surprises him at dinner.
(Sam opening) Sam watches his estranged son (Carlton opening) Carlton provide financial advice in a TV segment advertising his Hedge Fund. (Sam TP1) He turns to his computer and begins editing his Last Will and Testament.
(Sam dilemma) Sam makes a trip to the basement of their High-rise Building to gather a box. He grabs a special bottle of wine from the cellar. Upstairs, he gives the box to their housekeeper with written instructions and $ 500, “Please keep safe. If anything happens to me, please make sure Grace gets this box. Thank you, Sam”
Turning Point: At dinner, Grace presents the trip to Paris. (Grace TP1) Sam tells her he is dying and asks her to be the executor of his will.
Act I
Essence: Sam executes documents to make her the executor of his estate and sets an appointment with his attorney.
With the new knowledge, Sam and Grace hasten plans to leave at the end of the week for Paris. They plan and pack for the trip.
Grace schedules meetings to tie up any loose ends prior to their departure.
Sam schedules another MD visit prior to their departure.
Turning Point: (Sam Midpoint) With Grace by his side, Sam falls into a coma.
Act II
Essence: (Grace Midpoint) Sam’s estranged son Carlton plans to take over Sam’s affairs.
Carlton sits in his hedge fund office and watches the market close. A receptionist lets in an attorney who serves him with papers. (Carlton TP1) His ex-wife sues him for more money. And he gets a call about his father Sam’s coma.
(Sam TP2) Grace stays at Sam’s bedside and waits for any sign of life. Sam can hear her but cannot speak or move to answer.
(Carlton Midpoint) Carlton arrives at the hospital with an attorney and confronts Grace. He plans to take control of his father’s affairs.
(Sam major conflict) Sam recognizes Carlton’s voice and can hear the conversation with Grace. He is furious that he cannot speak or move.
Turning Point: (Grace major conflict) Grace hires an attorney to prevent Carlton from gaining control of Sam’s affairs.
Act III
Essence: The attorney exhausts all options for her to remain executor.
With no other option, Grace hires an unscrupulous political operative to investigate Carlton.
(Carlton TP2) Carlton’s mother calls to threaten him. Unless he gets control of Sam’s finances and gives her the money, she will expose his offshore accounts to his ex-wife.
Turning point: (Grace TP2) Grace loses the battle to remain executor and Carlton forces her to move out of their shared home.
Act IV
Essence: The investigator hired by Grace uncovers a disturbing pattern in Carlton’s hedge fund activities and a political party.
Grace settles into her new home. Carlton has her banned from the hospital and their High-rise building. He hires detectives to follow her every move.
(Grace Dilemma) The investigator meets with Grace in her new home and shares information related to Carlton’s hedge fund activities and a political party. He informs her that this information may be the tip of the iceberg.
Grace knows she is in danger. She no longer tries to call or contact Sam.
(Sam ending) Sam is moved back into his home to die. The housekeeper remembers the box and delivers to Grace.
(Carlton dilemma) Carlton begins to explore Sam’s affairs and discovers there is money missing.
He hires detectives to investigate Grace and find the missing funds.
Turning point: Accidentally, she delivers the box for Grace to her next-door neighbor.
Act V
Essence: Grace’s next-door neighbor is a reluctant psychic. She receives the box and immediately senses danger. She is very reluctant to get involved.
(Carlton’s conflict) Carlton gets another call from his mother. She wants more money to keep his secret.
(Carlton ending) If his mother exposes him, Carlton will lose everything. He instructs the detective to threaten, even kill Grace to get the money.
Turning point: (Grace ending) An attempt on Grace’s life propels the psychic to save her and transport her to her past life to find the answers.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 3 Pilot Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is to organize my plot and characters in the teaser and Acts to generate interest.
Teaser:
Essence: High level VO with Grace review bad dates and how long it took her to find Sam.
Turning Point: Sam asks her to be the executor of his will.
Act I
Essence: Sam executes documents and plans to put his affairs in order for Grace.
Turning Point: Sam falls into a coma.
Act II
Essence: Sam’s estranged son Carlton arrives to take over Sam’s affairs.
Turning Point: Grace hire attorney and an investigator to remove Carlton from Sam’s life.
Act III
Essence: The attorney exhausts all options for her to remain executor.
Turning point: Grace loses the battle to remain executor and Carlton forces her to move out of their shared home.
Act IV
Essence: The investigator hired by Grace uncovers a disturbing pattern in Carlton’s hedge fund activities and a political party.
Turning point: Accidentally, the box meant for Grace is delivered next door.
Act V
Essence: The psychic next door receives the box and senses danger but is reluctant to get involved.
Turning point: An attempt on Grace’s life propels the psychic to save her and transport her to her past life for answers.
-
Sherri D. Coffee BW Module 3 Lesson 2 Amazing Inciting Incident
What I learned doing this assignment is to outline my stories key points.
Inciting Incident: When Sam falls into a coma, his son Carlton arrives to take over his affairs and oust Grace from his life. Grace launches an investigation and uncovers information that places her life in danger.
Intriguing concept: What secrets are revealed in Grace’s past life to link her with Sam and Carlton and place her in danger?
Act 1: Sam falls into a coma and Grace must face his estranged son.
Midpoint: Grace hires an investigator Wilson who uncovers financial information that links Carlton and Sam with a powerful political network.
Lock In: A reluctant psychic next door rescues Grace from being killed and transports her to her past life to find answers.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 1
Series Information:
World: Finding love late in life and navigating money, power, family secrets and unfinished business.
Main Mystery: What happened in the past life that places Grace in the current danger?
Impossible Goal: Grace wants to see Sam before he dies.
Main Conflict: Carlton will do anything to prevent Grace from seeing Sam.
Second Mystery: Why is it so important to Carlton to keep Sam and Grace apart? What does he have to hide?
Season 1 Arc: When Grace Is separated from Sam and ousted out of their home, she launches an investigation with a seedy political operative.
Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From heartbreak and anger at separation to fear of being killed to embracing the curious adventure of her past life to find the truth.
PILOT INFO:
Pilot conflict: When Grace launches an investigation to find out why Carlton ousts her from Sam’s life, she experiences threats and attempts on her life.
Main Characters introduction:
Grace: 50year old lobbyist in a relationship with Sam.
Sam: 70 year old retired physician divorced in a relationship with Grace.
Carlton: Hedge fund manager on Wall Street in successful firm. Estranged from his father.
Carlton’s mother Lillian: suffered a bitter divorce with Sam and blackmails Carlton to get her money.
Harmony Rose: Grace next door neighbor is a reluctant psychic.
Wilson: A seedy very effective political operative hired to investigate Carlton.
Mia: Sam and Grace housekeeper.
Inciting incident of Season 1: When Sam slips into a coma, his estranged son Carlton arrives and takes control of his affairs and ousts Grace from his life. Grace launches an investigation that results in threats and attempts to kill her. She is saved by the psychic next door who transports her to her past life to find the answers.
Pilot Act:
Teaser
· Essence: High level VO on the journey to find love late in life.
· Turning Point: Grace meets Sam.
Act I
· Essence: Grace and Sam are getting their affairs in order as they plan a vacation to Europe to celebrate their 5<sup>th</sup> year anniversary.
· Turning Point: Sam falls into a coma.
Act II
· Essence: Sam’s estranged son Carlton arrives to take control of Sam’s affairs.
· Turning Point: He gains control and evicts Grace.
Act III
· Essence: Grace hires Wilson, a seedy political operative to investigate Carlton.
· Turning Point: Wilson uncovers some leads and meets with Grace to warn her of danger.
Act IV
· Essence: The psychic next door accidentally receives a box from Mia meant for Grace.
· Turning Point: Wilson travels to NYC and Grace receives threats.
Act V
· Essence: Sam wakes from the coma and is told Grace has left him. Carlton takes his phone and instructs nurses to drug him. He orders someone to take care of Grace.
· Turning point: The psychic next door Harmony Rose rescues Grace from being shot and reluctantly transports her to a past life to find the answers. 1884 NYC.
What I learned doing this assignment is I need to elevate my story as I outline and provide some structure.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Visual TV Bible
What I learned is to start looking for pictures that tell the story and combine in a visually appealing yet concise manner.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 11 Editing TV Pitch Bible
I learned that the edit process cut out a lot of useless information that does not focus the story. Also, the focus on clarity lends to a more interesting document.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 10 Episode Titles
Episode 1: Man Plan and God Laughs
Episode 2: Danger Lies Ahead
Episode 3: With a Little Help
Episode 4: Old is New
Episode 5: They Love Me!
Episode 6: Deja Vu
Episode 7: Not Her
Episode 8: London is Calling
What I learned in this assignment is to really take a look at the episode content, ask the questions, and brainstorm.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 9 Presents Non-Stop Intrigue
I was able to elevate the concept, world, and characters. What I learned is to continue to use the tools to make my story BW.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 8: Intrigue Patterns
A. Establish something shocking; When Sam falls into a coma, his estranged son arrives to cut Grace out of Sam’s life.
B. Strong statement: With Sam in a coma, Carlton explores all his options to cut Grace out of his life.
C. Question that points to hidden agendas: As Sam lay in the hospital bed unresponsive, Carlton paced the floor trying to find a way to get rid of Grace.
D. Character 1 is convinced that Character 2 has done: Grace is convinced that Carlton is trying to separate her from Sam.
E. But maybe it is all wrong: With Sam in a coma, Carlton tries to establish a friendship with Grace and causes her to second guess his intentions.
F. A Pattern that leads to future consequences: Grace is suspicious of Carltons’ motives when he arrives unannounced with an attorney.
G. If he does _________, that mean…..intrigue: If Sam would just wake up, he would speak to Carlton and everything would be like it was.
H. State the mystery: Will Sam wake up from the coma before Carlton has cut Grace out of his life?
I. Should be/could be ……but it is even worse: Grace could be paranoid but when the attorney arrives at Sam’s bedside with an eviction notice, she knows she is not.
J. Intense language: With Sam unresponsive, Carlton seizes the opportunity to take control of his affairs and cut Grace out of his life.
What I learned doing this assignment is an exercise to explore options to elevate the TV Bible. And after doing the exercise, I have several places to apply the new knowledge.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 7 TV Pitch Bible Investigation
I went through each element of my TV Pitch Bible and improved the concept, elevated the intriguing world, and reduced the number of environment characters. Also, I worked to clarify and strengthen my main character profiles by elevating the intriguing layers and emotional depth. I learned that if I continue to ask the questions, I can brainstorm and explore other open loops, mysteries, and plot layers. And if I continue to examine those possibilities, I can continue to elevate the elements to make the story Binge Worthy!
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 6
Plot: Pilot as inciting incident
(Set up) Lobbyist lawyer Grace Hunter spent years looking for love. Finally, at her 50th Birthday party she meets the accomplished semi-retired physician Sam and falls in love for the first time. But the happiness is short-lived when Sam is diagnosed with cancer and she becomes his caretaker. (Empathy/Distress)
When Sam falls into a coma, his estranged son Carlton arrives at the hospital. (External Character conflict) He is a Wall Street hedge fund manager who is divorced with 2 children. Carlton appears to be concerned about Sam but he is really here to protect his secret. (Secrets/Deception) Carlton’s ex-wife is suing him in court again for money owed. Money that cannot be found by the courts. But Sam knows where to find the money. (Twist/Hook/Secret identify) And if found, Carlton stands to lose everything. (Intrigue)
Grace is by Sam’s side everyday at the hospital hoping he will awaken from the coma. (Undeserved Misfortune) Sam has named Grace the executor of his will and estate. (Twist/hook) As she begins to go through Sam’s papers, she discovers some inconsistencies. (Intrigue) Carlton, who must gain control of the estate to protect his secret, hires an attorney to start the process of removing Grace not only from the will but also from Sam’s life. (Major scheme revealed) When Grace finds out, she launches her own investigation but is betrayed by her attorney who gladly takes Carlton’s money. Sam remains in a coma when Grace is forced out of their home and out of his life. (Undeserved Misfortune/Shocking Event) (Forced Decision)
Heartbroken and living alone in her strange new home, Grace is consoled by her housekeepers’ message. (Intrigue) The housekeeper has sent her a box of things by a messenger. The messenger accidently delivers the box to the psychic next door. (Open Loop) Harmony Rose tries to deliver the box to Grace in the garden but she stops when she hear gunfire. Grace runs towards the door and barely misses the last shot when Harmony Rose pulls her into the vestibule and down the stairs. (shocking event) They descend the stairs and exit into 1884 Brooklyn NY. (Hook, cliffhanger)
Why does Grace have to travel back to her previous life to find out why she is in danger in her present life? (Final Hook and Cliffhanger)
What I learned is asking the questions around plot and character fuels creativity. And to write the assignment even if not even close to perfect!
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 5 Episode Descriptions
Episode 1:
Hook/Intrigue: Sam hands a box to the housekeeper and asks her to provide to Grace if anything should happen to him.
Main Character Journey: Grace finally found love later in life but her happiness is short lived when Sam is diagnosed with cancer.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Grace must support Sam while trying to process her own grief and fear of abandonment.
Action/Reaction: When Sam slips into a coma, his estranged son arrives to take over his fathers’ affairs.
Cliffhanger: Sam’s son begins the process of ousting Grace from Sam’s life.
Grace and Sam finally find love late in life but their happiness is cut short when Sam is diagnosed with cancer. When Sam slips into a coma, his estranged son arrives to take over his fathers’ affairs. As Grace tries to process her grief, Carlton the son begins the process of ousting her from Sam’s life.
Episode 2:
Hook/Intrigue: As a successful hedge fund manager, why does Carlton need to gain control of his father’s affairs?
Major Character Journey: When Grace finds out that Carlton has taken steps to oust her from Sam’s life, she launches her own investigation.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Sam completed his will with Grace on his accounts but did not complete the process to have her name placed on their apartment. Carlton pays an attorney to find the loop hole and proceeds to have her evicted.
Action/Reaction: When Grace finds out she is about to be evicted, she panics and pushes her attorney to find out why this is happening.
Cliffhanger: Grace is served eviction papers and she receives a call from her attorney warning her of danger.
Grace does not understand why Carlton, a successful hedge fund manager, wants to oust her from Sam’s life. She launches her own investigation to find out why. When she is served eviction papers, her attorney warns her of danger.
Episode 3:
Hook/Intrigue: What information places Grace in danger?
Main Character Journey: Grace is trying to process her grief as she is moving to another home. She is confused.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Grace cannot say goodbye to Sam before she must vacate their apartment.
Action/Reaction: Carlton also places guards at the hospital to forbid Grace from seeing Sam.
Grace meets her attorney and receives some disturbing information.
Cliffhanger: As Grace arrives at her new home, she narrowly escapes being killed and is saved by the psychic next door who transports her to her past life.
Grace must leave the home she shared with Sam. She tries to visit him but is kept out by the bodyguards that Carlton has hired. A meeting with her attorney reveals the information that places her in danger. She leaves the office with a plan but is disrupted by an attempt on her life. She is saved by the psychic next door who transports her to her past life.
Episode 4:
Hook/Intrigue: Grace wakes up in 1884 at a Brooklyn home with her Mother (the psychic who saved her) married to a dying politician. As a second family, they will receive a meager sum and be forced to find another place to live.
Main Character Journey: Grace is an actress and wonders how she will support them.
Action/Reaction: They find new flat in NYC and manage the limited resources. Grace attends theatre auditions. Her mother tries to find work as a seamstress. They are robbed and lose most of their money. Desperate, Grace considers a man’s proposal may be the only way to survive.
Cliffhanger: Grace catches the eye of Augustin Daly at an audition. Does she get an offer? When will Grace and Sam meet?
Grace and her mother are forced to leave their home in Brooklyn and find a flat in NYC. To support them, Grace tries to audition for the leading Theatre ensemble groups. After being robbed, she is forced to consider a man’s proposal since it may be the only way to survive.
Episode 5:
Hook/Intrigue: Grace is asked to join the Daly ensemble cast but quickly finds out she has a lot to learn.
Main Character Journey: Grace must navigate the challenging society rules and the Daly theatre rules to establish her place in the theatre.
Action/Reaction: Opening night Grace forgets her lines. She is saved by a stage hand. Crowd gives standing ovation asking for her but she is already changing for the next act. She throws on a shawl and stands behind the curtain.
Cliffhanger: As Grace glances upward, Sam is in the proscenium box smiling with approval. How will they reconnect?
Grace gets the attention of Augustin Daly and joins the prestigious theatre group. She turns down the man’s proposal and is met with anger and threats. Opening night she upstages the star and discovers Sam in the audience.
Episode 6:
Hook/Intrigue: What is she supposed to find out?
Main Character Journey: Grace remembers Sam but has significant obstacles to keep them apart.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Courtship in 1884. Sam’s family reputation. Grace lack of money.
Action/Reaction: Sam asks to court Grace and is denied the opportunity. He persists and her mother tests his sincerity.
Cliffhanger: Sam plans to propose but his plans fail.
Sam tries to open up a proper courtship with Grace but he is rejected by her mother. He persistently tries by attending all her performances and providing a carriage for her and her mother to return home safely after the performance. Her mother finally allows a proper courtship but has doubts.
Episode 7:
Hook/Intrigue: Will Sam propose and will she accept?
Main Character journey: Grace wants to marry Sam but she has never been properly introduced to his family leading her to believe that he is not serious.
Major Challenge/Conflict: Sam proposes, she accepts, but then she reads in the paper that he is engaged to another woman?
Action/Reaction: The paper has a story about Sam being engaged to another woman. Grace asks politely and receives a vague explanation. Grace theatre group laughs at the idea that she would marry Sam calling him a stage door johnny. Daly theatre group is traveling to Europe to perform for the first time.
Cliffhanger: Grace and her mother are aboard the ship deck and wait for Sam to see them off but he never comes. She sails to Europe knowing she has been duped.
Grace and Sam have a rocky courtship with several elements against them. The Daly company prepares to travel abroad. Sam does not show up to see Grace leave.
Episode 8:
Hook/Intrigue: Sam has decided that he desperately wants to marry Grace but he cannot convince his family to approve.
Main Character Journey: Grace loves the theatre and immerses herself in her role and the European culture.
Main Challenge/Conflict: Sam cables Grace and she will not reply believing that he is insincere. Sam’s family will not approve of the marriage.
Action/Reaction: Prince of Wales attends performance and invites Grace to dinner. News of the invite reach the American papers. Sam is more determined that ever to set sail for Europe.
Cliffhanger: Sam boards ship for Europe.
Sam tries to cable Grace and she ignores since she believes he is insincere. Sam’s family refuses to provide their blessing on the marriage. Grace catches the eye of the Prince of Wales. Sam boards a ship to Europe to win Grace again.
what I learned is that it will definitely take several edits to produce a BW season!
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Lesson 4 Episode Rough Draft
Episode 1: Grace and Sam find love late in life but when he slips into a coma his estranged children appear and oust Grace from his life.
-Grace and Sam out to dinner with friends discuss family and future.
-Sam prepares a box of documents and hands to the housekeeper to provide to Grace if something happens to him.
-At a MD appointment, Sam slips into a coma and is taken to the hospital with Grace by his side.
-Sam’s estranged son arrives the next day to evaluate the situation.
-While Grace is at a business meeting, Carlton works with an attorney and produces documents to evict her from their apartment.
-Grace counters but ultimately is forced out and moves to another home.
Episode 2: Grace finds another home and launches an investigation.
-Grace launches an investigation into Sam’s estranged son and his sisters.
-Carlton has placed 2 guards at the hospital door and taken possession of Sam’s cell phone.
-Carlton is being blackmailed by his sisters to remove Grace from the will.
-Sam is semi lucid and is told by Carlton that Grace has left him.
-Grace reviews any legal avenue to let her see Sam.
-Grace finds out key information about Sam’s children that places her in danger.
Episode 3: Carlton has the will change and orders Grace to be killed.
-Carlton discovers through his hired detective that Grace has discovered some information that may be incriminating.
-Grace continues to work with her attorney on the investigation.
-Carlton gets Sam to sign papers removing Grace from the will and placing his sisters as beneficiaries.
-Once Carlton secures the papers, he orders the investigator to take care of her.
-Grace narrowly escapes being killed.
-The psychic next door saves Grace and transports her to her past life.
Episode 4: Past life journey for Grace to heal her facilitated by the psychic next door.
-Grace lands in 1884 Brooklyn at the home of a dying politician who is married to her mother. (the psychic)
-The politician dies and his son inherits the money and auctions off the home contents.
-Grace and her mother are left with very meager provisions and move to a flat in NYC.
-Grace is an actress and secures a role in the Augustin Daly Theatre ensemble.
Episode 5: Grace is an actress in 1884 and faces challenging society rules and customs.
-Grace works with theatre group under Augustin Daly who has long rehearsals and a strict set of rules to prepare for opening night.
-Grace’s mother is very watchful of her daughter in the theatre world.
-Grace is the new actor in the ensemble and is confronted with jealousy.
-Opening night, Grace forgets her lines but is saved by a stage man.
-When the curtain falls after the first act, the crowd calls her back.
-Sam and his father Carlton are sitting in the box above the stage.
-Sam and Carlton make their way backstage to meet Grace but are discouraged from any interaction by her mother.
-Grace recognizes Sam.
Episode 6: Grace and Sam courtship.
-Sam is the oldest son of the wealthiest but most hated man in New York.
-Grace is a rising star in the theatre with review to show.
-Sam has a fondness for actresses and quite a past history of broken engagements.
-Grace’s mother is wise to men like Sam and implements dating rules to protect her daughter.
-Sam who is accustomed to getting everything he wants, tries hard to win both their approval.
-Grace’s mother reluctantly agrees to allow Sam to court her daughter and he proposes without ever getting his family approval.
Episode 7: Grace and Sam come from different worlds that want to keep them apart.
-Grace shares her engagement with all her fellow actors and they laugh.
-Augustin Daly theatre is scheduled to appear in London, Paris, and Berlin for the 1886 season.
-Grace’s mother continues to doubt Sam’s sincerity since the families have never met.
-Sam pleads with his father and mother to let him marry Grace.
-Sam’s mother will not allow her son to marry an actress and damage prospects for her other children.
-Carlton, Sam’s father employs his wealth to link Grace with other suitors; report their engagement is a sham; and dispel any rumors of the relationship.
-Grace is aboard the ship to Europe accompanied by her mother and waits desperately Sam who never shows up.
Episode 8: Sam desperately wants to be with Grace but cannot overcome his family’s objection.
-Grace and Mother arrive in London a week prior to the Theatre engagement.
-All of London is anticipating the first American Theatre company’s appearance on stage.
-Sam has cabled Grace at her hotel.
-Grace’s mother is careful to provide her daughter the response that must be necessary to prevent any stain on her reputation.
-The Theatre group performance is attended by the Prince of Wales who is smitten by Grace.
-The Prince of Wales invites her to dine with him and sends her flowers.
-The news of the Prince of Wales invitation and interest reaches the American papers.
-Sam, seeing the headlines, rushes to tell his mother and father that he is sailing to London to marry Grace.
-Sam boards a ship and Grace takes to the stage.
I learned to use the format to outline each episode using the start, middle and cliffhanger questions.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Character Descriptions Module 2 Lesson 2
Grace:
START: Grace is a hardworking, successful, professional woman who searched many years for love and found late in life with Sam.
MIDDLE: When Sam is dying of cancer, he slips into a coma. While in the coma, his children oust Grace from his life. Grace launches an investigation and places herself in danger.
ENDING: When she narrowly escapes being killed with the help of the psychic next door, the psychic sees the only way for Grace to be safe is to transport her back to her past life. Until Grace relives her past life and learns the lessons, she cannot return to her present world.
Sam:
START: Sam is a successful physician from a prominent NYC family who semi-retired to Atlanta GA. After 2 bad marriages and a relocation, he meets Grace and finally finds love. He spent a lifetime in NYC bailing his children out from a series of bad choices to keep them out of jail and preserve his family legacy. When he finally finds happiness he is diagnosed with cancer. He reaches out to his estranged children hoping to make peace and preserve the family legacy before he dies.
MIDDLE: Sam falls in a parking lot at a Doctors’ appointment and then slips into a coma. He is rushed to the hospital with Grace by his side. She reaches out to his children thinking Sam would want to see them before he dies. They arrive and immediately take steps to oust Grace from his life.
ENDING: When Sam awakes from a coma, he is told that Grace has left him and will not return. Sam does not believe his children and tries desperately to reach her. But his children place guards at his door and will not return his cell phone. His only communication is with the medical staff who don’t believe him.
Carlton:
START: Carlton is a successful ego driven hedge fund manager on Wall Street. After a very nasty divorce, he placed most of his assets in offshore accounts. He has a falling out with his father when he once again asks for a bailout to protect his business. And Carlton is being sued by his ex-wife again for money to support her and their children.
MIDDLE: Carlton’s sisters know of his financial situation. They have also been bailed out by their father from drug mule activity, bullying, and extortion. When Carlton boards the plane for Atlanta, his sisters contact him and threaten to expose his secrets unless he can manipulate the fathers’ will and make them the beneficiaries.
ENDING: Carlton must deceive his dying father to save his business, reputation, and his personal financial empire.
What I learned doing this assignment was that it is fun to brainstorm a characters’ profile by using the framework and asking the questions. The character intrigue can also trigger certain plot ideas.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 2 Assignment 1 Intriguing Concept and World
1. Concept
What if a successful lobbyist is cut off from her dying partner and is threatened by his children, discovers that she must relive her gilded past life to secure her safety.
2. Unique Sub-World – Current backstabbing lobby world; Current NYC financial world and unscrupulous lawyers; Past world 1880’s actress in Theatre company; Past world robber baron rich society.
Previously unexplored: How a woman survives and thrives in the current lobby world and in the past world of an actress in a theatre company.
The unknown: What happened in the past that ignites the current threats to her life?
The unseen: Manipulation and schemes to achieve lobby success; manipulation and schemes women pursue to marry wealthy men in the 1880’s.
Unheard of Dangers: Lobbyist games can send you to prison; An unmarried actress in 1880’s of meager means could end up on the street or an insane asylum.
Reason to explore: What if everything you did in a past life influenced your current life choices?
What I learned is to elevate the environment and the conflict to produce a more intriguing concept.
-
Sherri D. Coffee is ready for professional feedback!
-
Module 1 Lesson 11 Assignment 2
Grace wants to be with Sam when he dies. She cannot understand why his children have intervened to separate them.
Grace needs to find out why. To pursue why, she must journey to her past life and relive to understand the relevance.
Sam wants to reconnect with his children to protect his legacy. When he wakes from a coma, his children tell him Grace has left him. He realizes his children are lying but he is too weak to fight them.
Carlton is bailed out by his father to protect the family name – legacy and family name is everything to Sam. Carlton is grateful but resentful to have his father still in control of his success. Carlton chooses to deceive Sam on his deathbed to prevent his secret from being revealed by his sisters.
What I learned is to try and create irony in character behavior and situations.
-
Module 1 Lesson 11: Assignment 1
Big Little Lies:
Celeste tries to maintain a relationship with Mary Louise for her children.
When Mary Louise displays her intent by arriving uninvited to Madeleine’s party, she slaps Mary Louise.
Celeste brings a bartender home with her. She takes Ambien and forgets he is still there when Mary Louise arrives with her boys.
Ed continues to maintain a punishing distance from Madeleine.
Zoey is normally calm and together but she freaks out at the site of the detective in the hospital.
Renata, who portrays the strong, successful, working woman continues to stay with Gordon after he has lost all their money.
I learned to identify irony in characters and situations.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 10 Assignment 1
Big Little Lies
Plot Layer:
Surface: Women trying to be good mothers.
Layer 1: Cover up of Perry’s death and the women’s secret lie.
Layer 2: Major scheme to keep the story secret and the impact on each characters’ life.
Layer 3: Arrival of Mary Louise (Perry’s mother) and her hidden agenda to prove he was not a rapist threatens the cover up reveal.
Character Layer:
Surface: Madeleine is a good mother and wife. Celeste is a grieving widow. Jane is dating. Renata is a very wealthy successful woman.
Layer 1: Madeleine’s secret affair is revealed to Ed and he is betrayed. Celeste has a possible addiction to abuse and drugs. Jane has a wound from the rape. Renata expresses rage at Gordon’s failure.
Layer 2: Madeleine feels “less than” others due to her lack of a college degree. Celeste is still addicted to the idea of Perry and dismissive of the life threatening abuse. Jane feels violated again as Perry’s mother questions Ziggy’s paternity and tries to discount her memories. Renata tries desperately to maintain control and power when her daughter has a panic attack.
Layer 3: Madeleine breaks down giving speech at school meeting. Ed abandons her fueling her worst fear of not being good enough. Celeste defends her by questioning Ed but she continues to entertain videos and good memories of Perry. Jane is very afraid of being violated again and is awkward in a new relationship. Renata continues to express her loss of money and power by raging at principal, teacher, doctor, and especially Gordon. Her hidden history of a father who lost the family’s money and her need for power and control fuels the rage towards Gordon
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 9 Assignment 2:
Top 5 Big Picture Open Loops:
1. What happened in Grace’s past life that prevents her from finding lasting love?
2. Will Grace get to say goodbye to Sam before he dies?
3. Will Sam realize he has been tricked by his children’s lies?
4. Will Carlton’s secret be exposed and will he suffer consequences for his actions?
5. How will Harmony reach Grace to resolve past life and protect her from the current danger?
What I learned doing this assignment was to really examine the questions to formulate the big picture open loops and create the thread for the series.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 9
Big Little Lies
Big Picture Open Loops:
1. What happened to Jane?
2. Who is Ziggy’s father? Whose footprints are in the sand?
3. Why does Celeste stay in an abusive relationship and will her reality be revealed?
4. Will Perry kill Celeste or will she leave?
5. What happened between Madeleine and her ex-husband and Bonnie?
6. Will Madeleine’s affair be revealed?
7. Will the secret of Perry’s death be revealed?
Small Picture Open Loops:
1. Who is abusing Amabella at school?
2. Will anyone show up for Amabella’s birthday party?
3. Will Bonnie reveal the secret?
4. Will Perry’s mother discover the truth?
5. Will Ziggy discover the truth about his father?
6. What does Ed do after he learns of the affair?
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 8
1. Shocking Event Mystery:
A) Shocking Event: Carlton pays an attorney to produce documents that remove Grace as executor of Sam’s will and evict her from the home they share.
B). Secret: Carlton is being blackmailed by his sisters and faces business ruin.
What has he done? Who knows what he did? How did he get the documents to remove her?
Why are his sisters blackmailing him?
C) Investigation: Grace fights back to find out what she can do to see Sam.
How and why did Carlton remove her from Sam’s life?
When will she find out?
Part withheld: Sam bailed out Carlton’s hedge fund and helped him hide money offshore.
2. Over Time Mystery:
A) Shocking Event: Grace is almost killed by the investigator following her. She is saved by the psychic next door, Harmony. Who hired someone to follow her? Why? What do they want? How can she protect herself? Where is she safe?
B) Secret: Harmony recognizes Grace from a past life and knows that she is in danger.
Who wants Grace dead? Why do they want her dead? What does Harmony know? Who is Harmony and how is she connected to Grace? When Grace moves out of her and Sam’s home, the housekeeper hides a file. Why did she hide the file? What does the file reveal?
C) Investigation: Grace fights back and explores all options to uncover the reasons behind the events that separated her and Sam. Who wants them separated? What do they want? Who is following her and why? Who is Harmony? Why did Harmony save her life? What does she know? How can Grace protect herself from the investigator? Why is her housekeeper still checking on her with a burned phone?
Part withheld: Sam’s children are sociopaths. Sam gave housekeeper instructions the day he went into a coma to protect the file if anything happened to him. Harmony knows that the only way to protect Grace is to guide her through her past life to uncover the secrets of today.
I learned to use my creative processes to create the two mysteries and explore the possibilities throughout the story.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 8 Mysteries
Big Little Lies
Mystery type 1: The Shocking Event – Perry is pushed down stairs at school fundraiser and dies.
A) Shocking event: Perry is beating Celeste at the fundraiser; Jane recognizes Perry as the rapist; Bonnie watching from afar, moves to push Perry down the stairs.
B) Secret: The women maintain that he fell down the steps contributing to his death. Meet in car to reinforce keeping the secret and keep Bonnie from revealing secret.
C) Investigation: The police continue to investigate and the case is open. Perry’s Mother arrives and starts asking questions. The community calls them the “Monterrey Five”. Bonnie stands in front of the police department and weighs her choices.
Mystery type 2: The “Over-Time” Mystery – the actual truth of Perry’s death, the rape, and his son Ziggy.
A) Cover up: The women stick to “he fell down the stairs” story vs he was pushed.
B) Secret: They keep the fact that Perry raped Jane and her son is his son secret.
C) Reveals: We find out that Perry is Ziggy’s father from Celeste asking about the money she is sending from the estate to Jane.
Bonnie continues to withdraw and confronts Madeleine who constructed the lie at the scene.
Celeste mother-in-law is suspicious of everyone surrounding her son’s death and specifically Madeleine.
The police investigators think Perry was pushed but cannot prove. Will they be able to expose the lie? Will they learn the truth about Perry?
-
Sherri D. Coffee Lesson 7 Show Empathy/Distress
Grace:
A) Undeserved misfortune: Grace is in a relationship with a man dying of cancer and estranged from his children.
B) External character conflicts: Sam’s estranged children try to remove her from Sam’s life.
Grace promised Sam that she would execute his will to honor his wishes.
C) Plot intruding on life: Sam re-establishes a rocky relationship with his children and they scheme to remove Grace from his life.
D) Moral Dilemmas: How can she leave Sam as he is dying when he saved her life 5 years earlier?
E) Forced decisions they’d never make? When Sam goes into a coma, Grace is forced by his children to move out of their home and abandon Sam as he dies.
Sam
A) Undeserved misfortune: Sam is dying of cancer.
B) External character conflicts: His estranged children and their history. Sam bailed out his son’s hedge fund and told him never to call him again.
C) Plot intruding on life: While Sam is in a coma, his son pays an attorney to produce documents giving him sole control of Sam’s affairs.
D) Moral Dilemmas: He chose Grace instead of his children to control his finances.
F) Forced decisions they’d never make: He wakes up from the coma and is told that Grace has left him. He believes his children.
Carlton:
A) Underserved misfortune: He is being blackmailed by his sisters for hiding his money in an offshore account to protect from his ex-wife.
B) External Character conflicts: Sam after the bailout. Sisters threats to expose him. Grace who loves and takes care of Sam.
C) Plot intruding on life: Carlton seizes the opportunity to gain control of his fathers’ affairs when he is in a coma.
D) Moral dilemma: He separates Sam from Grace when he is dying. How far can he go to prevent his sisters’ from exposing him?
E) Forced decisions they’d never make: Carlton pays an attorney to prepare documents to not only give him control of Sam’s affairs but also evict Grace from their shared apartment.
Harmony:
A) Undeserved misfortune: She is a psychic who can see the past.
B) External Character conflicts: Carlton and Sam – she sees the danger for her and Grace.
C) Plot intruding on life: She becomes in danger as she befriends Grace.
D) Moral dilemma: How much should she share with Grace?
E) Forced decisions they’d never make: Must relive the past with Grace to survive the present.
I learned to think about different situations that I could create that would generate empathy and distress but still be true to the core story.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 7 Empathy/Distress
Big Little Lies
A) Undeserved misfortune:
Madeleine – being stalked by theatre managers wife.
Celeste – abused by her husband and son is identified as bullying girl at school
Jane – son is accused of bullying a girl at school. Raped.
Renata –feeling guilty about working
B) External Character conflicts
Madeleine– affair – conflict with his wife
Celeste – angry with therapist for forcing her to see the truth
Jane – recognizes Celeste’s husband as her rapist. Gordon threatens her for harming Renata.
Renata – blames Jane for her daughters’ abuse.
C) Plot intruding on life
Madeleine – trying to avoid the affair being revealed and harming her life with Ed.
Celeste – trying to prevent the abuse from being revealed and destroying her image and life.
Jane – trying to reconcile with flashbacks of rape.
Renata – trying to protect daughter from abuse and fails.
D) Moral dilemmas
Madeleine – hurting Ed by telling him of her affair.
Celeste – leaving husband and breaking up her family. Confronting Max about abuse at school
Jane – identifying Perry as rapist. Must tell Celeste the truth about her son Max.
Renata – learns truth about Max abusing Amabella and apologizes to Jane. Discusses with Celeste.
E) Forced decisions they’d never make
Madeleine – confiding her affair to others. She is consumed with guilt.
Celeste – getting an apartment and planning to move out. She is afraid for her life.
Jane – confronting Celeste with the knowledge of her sons’ abuse at school.
Renata – apologizing to Jane.
I learned to think about big picture and the interaction of the characters in situations to create empathy and distress.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 6 Character Relationship Map
Grace with Sam:
Surface – Romantic relationship
Common ground – Live together and share medical knowledge
Conflict – Sam is dying and he chose Grace as executor of his will but feels guilty about his children.
History – Sam saved Graces’ life 5 years earlier after an accident.
Subtext – She is obligated to him and wants to do the right thing.
Relationship Arc – from Love to distrust.
Grace with Carlton:
Surface – Sam’s estranged son
Common ground – Sam’s health
Conflict – the Will
History – on vacation to reconcile relationship with Father, he tries to have Grace killed.
Subtext – competition
Relationship Arc – acquainted to enemies.
Grace with Harmony:
Surface: hippie psychic meditative journey guide
Common ground: Grace’s new neighbor
Conflict: Lifestyle
History: Past life Mother/Daughter
Subtext: hiding secret from past life with Grace
Relationship Arc: Strangers to friends
Sam
Sam with Grace:
Surface: Romantic relationship
Common Ground: Live together
Conflict: Sam wants to reconcile with Carlton and his sisters.
History: He saved her life. She is the only one helping him through cancer treatments.
Subtext: He wants to reconcile with children and take care of Grace.
Relationship Arc: Love to distrust.
Sam with Carlton:
Surface: estranged son
Common Ground: Both want to keep bailout history secret.
Conflict: Grace and will.
History: Sam bailed out his hedge fund; knows he hid money offshore to keep from his ex-wife; Sam knows his children are sociopaths.
Subtext: Obligation to children, image among community.
Relationship Arc: Estranged to relationship
Sam with Harmony:
Surface: knows of her through Grace
Common Ground: Grace
Conflict: thinks she is crazy. Does not believe in past lives.
History: Berates Grace for seeing Harmony.
Subtext: He is afraid she will reveal the truth of his children and the bailout to Grace.
Relationship arc: no relationship to trying to control her
Carlton
Carlton with Sam:
Surface: Estranged son
Common ground: Father and keeping secret of Sam’s bailout.
Conflict: Grace, will and childhood abandonment.
History: Sam left Carlton’s mother when he was 5 and was basically absent workaholic father building medical practice. Paid for education but was not present in his life. Sam bailed Carlton’s hedge fund out and helped him move money offshore to protect from ex-wife.
Subtext: Obligation, protecting secret, and provide for sisters.
Relationship Arc: Estranged to relationship.
Carlton with Grace:
Surface: Father’s significant other
Common ground: Sam’s health
Conflict: executor of will – Grace
History: Took Sam and Grace on vacation to Mexico and tried to have Grace killed.
Subtext: competition
Relationship Arc: Acquaintance to enemy
Carton with Harmony:
Surface: crazy psychic friend of Grace
Common ground: Carlton wants to use Harmony’s crazy to discredit Grace
Conflict: Harmony sees Carlton for who he is.
History: Harmony is aware that Carlton is the past life bastard son of Sam.
Subtext: competition
Relationship Arc: no relationship to enemies.
Harmony
Harmony with Grace:
Surface: psychic friend
Common Ground: neighbors
Conflict: past life journey and relationship with Sam.
History: Past life Mother/Daughter
Subtext: Conspirators
Relationship Arc: from neighbors to friends
Harmony with Sam:
Surface: knows of through Grace
Common Ground: Grace best interest
Conflict: past life knowledge – Sam is afraid she will expose his secrets
History: Harmony doesn’t trust he is being true to Grace. He is afraid she will expose him.
Subtext: Competition and control
Relationship arc: not knowing to distrust
Harmony with Carlton:
Surface: knows of through Grace
Common Ground: Grace and Sam
Conflict: Grace and Sam relationship, will, and Harmony’s image and business.
History: Carlton tries to discredit Harmony to discredit Grace and gain control of the will.
Subtext: competition. Harmony knows Carlton is trying to destroy her. And she knows the karma from the past life.
Relationship Arc: not knowing to enemies.
I learned to construct a very interesting story weave with several choices by mapping out the relationships between the characters.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 6 Relationship Map
Madeleine Jane Celeste Bonnie
Surface Friend Friend Related by marriage
Common school school husband
Conflict Ziggy’s jealous wife of ex husband
father marriage
History new friends good friends different styles/jealousy
Subtext Secret competition jealous
scheme envy
Relationship Strangers to Friends to enemies to civil relationship
Arc Friends closer friends
I learned to look at all the interactions to evaluate and construct the relationship map.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Lesson 1 Module 5 Depth of Emotions
Grace Profile
A) Situational Hope/Fear
Hope: Protect Sam from his children and secure her financial future.
Fear: She will fail.
B) Motivation: Want/Need
Want: Power, control of situation.
Need: Approval, love and validation
C) Mask: Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask
Base Negative Emotion: Fear, worthless
Public Mask: Important person, hero
D) Weaknesses
Empathetic, over-loyal, “do the right thing”, choose others over self, too concerned about image and others’ approval.
E) Triggers
Negative treatment, injustice, abandonment, lies.
F) Coping Mechanism
Fight back, analyze, alter state.
Sam
A) Hope: Reconcile with children before he dies and take care of Grace.
Fear: Legacy tarnished, shame, humiliation.
B) Motivation: Want/Need
Want: Relationship with children and with Grace
Need: To be loved, admired, and remembered.
C) Mask: Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask
Fear/Hero Worthless/Important person
D) Weaknesses
Needs to be in control to maintain image.
E) Triggers
Humiliation, threats, major stress, lies.
F) Coping Mechanism:
Denial, analyze, manipulate, shut down, cover up.
Carlton
A) Hope: Secure money for sisters.
Fear: His secrets will be revealed.
B) Motivation: Want/Need
Want: power and money
Need: dominance and control
C) Mask: Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask
Shame/bully
Fear being exposed/Hero
D) Weaknesses:
Ego driven, obsessive
E) Triggers
Threats, exposure
F) Coping Mechanism
Alter state, scheme, manipulate
Harmony
A) Hope: To protect Grace from repeating past life choices.
Fear: She will fail.
B) Motivation: Want/Need
Want: To help Grace
Need: To make amends and receive love.
C) Mask: Base Negative Emotion/Public Mask
Pain/Healer
D) Weaknesses
Powerless, need to control.
E) Triggers
Fear and threats, negative treatment
F) Coping Mechanism:
Withdraws and shuts down.
I learned to examine each element to create characters with depth and differentiate behaviors.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 5 Depth of Emotions
Madeleine:
A) Hope: Hide affair Fear: Affair revealed
B) Want: to be loved Need: to be in control
C) Base Negative Emotion: Worthless, not good enough
Public Mask: Important person in community
D) Weaknesses: Noisy, inserts self into others’ lives and problems
E) Triggers: Threats
F) Coping Mechanism: Manipulation
Celeste:
A) Hope: Have perfect relationship and family Fear: Revealed as abusive
B) Want: relationship Need: to be loved
C) Base Negative Emotion: Fear and Victim
Public Mask: Perfect marriage, activist – fights for theatre to have play.
D) Weaknesses: Powerless
E) Triggers: Threats and challenges to perfect image.
F) Coping Mechanism: Excuses and Denial
Jane:
A) Hope: Wants to fit in community Fear: Shame of Ziggy’s conception revealed
B) Want: To be a good Mother Need: power and control – to know who violated her
C) Base Negative Emotion: Power and revenge.
Public Mask: Situation under control, have resolved issue.
D) Weaknesses: Hurts son by hiding truth
E) Triggers: Wound and major stress
F) Coping Mechanism: Running, shooting guns, and visuals of killing perpetrator.
Renata:
A) Hope: Perfect life Fear: She will fail
B) Want: to protect daughter Need: To be respected
C) Base Negative Emotion: Shame and Power
Public Mask: Bully and in control
D) Weaknesses: Powerless to control situations
E) Triggers: Threat and negative treatment
F) Coping Mechanism: Demands action and bullies.
I learned to look much deeper at the characters actions and words to uncover the emotional profile.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 4 Intriguing Characters Assignment 2
Grace
Role: Successful 50 year old in relationship with Sam.
Hidden Agenda: Do the right thing and secure her financial future
Competition: Competes for Sam’s affection with his 3 estranged children but especially his son Carlton.
Conspiracy: With Harmony to find out more about Sam and his family.
Secrets: She had an affair with another man before Sam.
Deception: She will not tell Sam about the other guy.
Wound: Abandonment, Betrayal, and not-good-enough.
Secret identity: Past life wife of Sam.
Sam
Role: 70 year old retired physician dying of cancer in relationship with Grace.
Hidden Agenda: Wants to take care of Grace and reconcile with his children before he dies.
Competition: Jealous of every man who pays attention to Grace.
Conspiracy: With Housekeeper.
Secrets: Bailed son out after he defrauded investors; helped son hide money offshore from his ex-wife; paid attorneys to hide daughters participation in drug ring; paid attorneys to prevent daughter expulsion from college for bullying. His children are sociopaths.
Deception: Lies to himself and others about his children to protect his image.
Wound: Abandonment, humiliation, and shame.
Secret Identify: Past life husband of Grace.
Carlton:
Role: 45 year hedge fund manager son of Sam.
Hidden agenda: Wants to see his father abandoned as he abandoned him as a child.
Competition: Grace.
Conspiracy: With his sisters to separate Grace and Sam.
Secrets: Sam bailed out his hedge fund and helped him hide money from his ex-wife.
Deception: Only Sam and Carlton know the secrets.
Wound: Abandonment, shame, and not-good-enough.
Secret identity: Past life bastard son of Sam.
Harmony
Role: Psychic and past life meditation journeys.
Hidden Agenda: She wants to protect Grace from repeating her past life wound.
Competition: With Sam.
Conspiracy: With Grace.
Secrets: She knows that Grace is in danger.
Deception: She can’t tell Grace who she was in her past life.
Wound: Fear of Failure and Injustice.
Secret Identity: Past life Mother of Grace.
I learned to peel back the layers of each character using the intriguing character framework. Asking the questions of each character helped me to develop more depth and substance to my story.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Lesson 4 Assignment 1: Intriguing Characters
1. Places I have already seen character intrigue:
Madeleine – Hidden agenda – why does she befriend and defend Jane so quickly?
Competition – with her ex-husband and his wife
Secrets – what happened with her ex?
Wound – abandonment
Celeste – Secrets – being abused by her husband and having sex afterwards.
Agenda – wants to have a loving relationship with her husband.
Wound – violated physically and verbally to reinforce she is not good enough.
Jane – Role – fish out of water – tries to belong.
Secrets -Ziggys’ father and events surrounding his conception.
Wound – Rape
2. Character intrigue being used to create the need to see more from episode 4
Madeleine – Hidden agenda – wants to punish her ex-husband.
Secrets- why does she want to punish her ex-husband? Affair with the Theatre Director. She tells Celeste the story, but not the whole story. And she confides to Celeste that she is looking for Jane’s rapist.
Competition – with her ex-husbands wife Bonnie and Renata.
Wound – abandoned by Nathan and her father.
Celeste – Deception: 6 years trying to be the perfect Mother and discovers it is not enough for her.
Secret identity is revealed- she is an amazing attorney, competent and competitive.
Conspiracies – represents the theatre to support Madeleine against Renata.
Wound – self esteem beaten down by the physical and verbal abuse coupled with shame of “dirty sex” afterwards.
Jane – Hidden agenda – to find Ziggy’s father. Remembering what happened that night in small flashbacks.
Secrets – what did happen the night of the rape?
Deception – cannot tell her son the truth.
Wound – Rape.
I learned to create intrigue by asking the questions.
-
Sherri D. Coffee – Engaging Characters – Lesson 3 Assignment 2
A) Role in Show
Grace – 50 year old successful woman in a relationship with Sam.
Sam – 70 year old physician in a relationship with Grace and dying of cancer.
Carlton – 45 year old son, hedge fund manager, and estranged from Sam.
Harmony – 30 something hippie chick who is calm, peaceful, and focused on meditation past life trips.
B) Unique Purpose/Expertise
Grace – To find out why she struggles with relationships.
Sam – To reconcile with his children and take care of Grace.
Carlton – To gain control of his fathers’ estate.
Harmony – to help Grace understand her journey.
C) Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
Grace – feels guilty and trapped in the relationship.
Sam – feels angry, disappointed, and guilty about who his children have become.
Carton – he is being blackmailed by his sisters.
Harmony – She doesn’t know how much she can share with Grace. She knew her in a past life.
D) Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?
Grace -She is uneasy about the past life journey.
Sam – Is it ok to choose Grace as executor instead of his estranged children?
Carlton – Is it right to remove Grace from Sam’s life?
Harmony – There are consequences when a person sees a past life. Is it fair for Harmony to keep secret from Grace?
E) Unpredictable: What will they do next?
Grace – She calls out the detective following her in a public place.
Sam -believes his children.
Carlton – He gets the detective to mark up false derogatory information about Grace and shares with his father.
Harmony – Throws a vase against a wall when she realizes she must take Grace on the journey and face her own past life.
F) Empathetic: Why do we care?
Grace – she is being victimized by Sam’s family.
Sam – he is being victimized by his children.
Carlton – he is being blackmailed by his sisters.
Harmony – she has a past history that she must face.
What I learned was to ask each question for each character and the answer develops into a much more substantial profile.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 1 Lesson 3 Assignment 1
Big Little Lies
A) Role in Show
Madeleine – Mother overinvolved in other peoples’ lives.
Celeste – Former attorney who gave up career and friends to marry husband Perry.
Jane – New to town, fish out of water, and Mother without knowing or acknowledging her son’s father.
Renata – Successful career Mother trying to be a good parent.
B) Unique Purpose/Expertise
Madeleine – Establishes friendships with Celeste and Jane and defends and protects them.
Celeste – She is trying to work on her relationship with her husband and struggles with the physical and verbal abuse.
Jane – She is haunted by the memories of the one night with Ziggy’s father.
Renata – She knows the other women do not like her and she overthinks the situation.
C) Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface?
Madeleine – Insecurity drives her to try and control every situation with anger and manipulation.
Celeste – She is being physically and verbally abused. And afterwards, has sex with her husband – she calls the dirty secret and feels shame.
Jane – Tells Madeleine she doesn’t know her sons’ father but you wonder if she does.
Renata – She is insecure and wonders why.
D) Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing?
Madeleine – She uses her daughter to organize a competing event with Renata’s daughters’ birthday party. She bribes the other children by paying for everything.
Celeste – She violates her moral boundaries when she accepts abuse and has sex with Perry.
Jane – She is denying her son the knowledge of his father.
Renata – She calls Madeleine and begs, bribes her to come to her daughters party.
E) Unpredictable: What will they do next?
Madeleine – She admits and concedes to her ex husband that their daughter may find a better environment living with him.
Celeste – She struggles in therapy to admit the physical abuse. She demonstrates insight when when she tells Perry she is sad and hopeful.
Jane – She tells Madeleine the circumstances surrounding Ziggy’s conception.
Renata – She has physical sex with her husband at his office.
F) Empathetic: Why do we care?
Madeleine – She pulls her car over to cry after learning Janes’ story. She is sad, lonely and abandoned sitting in her daughters’ empty room.
Celeste – She is bruised in the shower but accepts the necklace from Perry and has sex with him.
Jane-She suffers fear of being a victim again with the imagined intruder.
Renata – She is very protective of her daughter.
I learned to develop characters that would be engaging for an audience.
-
Sherri D. Coffee Lesson 3 Assignment 2
1. Create three circles of characters for your show:
Main character circle:
Grace – 50 year old successful pretty woman who is in a relationship with a man 20 years older and dying of cancer. She is an avid tennis player, does pilates twice weekly, and is still slightly overweight. She struggles with romantic relationships and wants to know why.
Sam – 70 year old retired physician who is dying of cancer. He has a very privileged background from NYC and a very tenuous relationship with his 3 adult children. Is not good at being a patient.
Carlton – Sam’s 45 year old son who is a successful hedge fund manager and divorced. Smart, reserved and connected to the financial world in NYC.
Harmony – 30 year old hippie chick who is psychic. She is calm, peaceful and very into meditation trips, healing oils, and gardens.
Connected circle:
Abel and Lori w/2 children
Lacey w/2 children
Carlton w/3 children and ex-wife Catherine
Ellen, Tesse, and Alex
housekeeper
Environment circle:
Dr. Patel, office receptionist, nurse
Hospital staff
Apartment front desk attendants and guards
Grace work colleagues
Tennis league
theatre company
Guards
Detective
I learned to create a world by starting with the main characters and adding the layers of connected and environment characters. The process added structure to my creative thoughts.
-
Big Little Lies – Three Circles of Characters – Sherri D. Coffee
A. Main Characters Circle:
Madeline Mackenzie
Jane Chapman
Celeste Wright
Renata Klein
B. Connected Circle:
Chloe, Abby, Ed, Nathan and Bonnie
Ziggy
Perry and twins
Amabella, Gordon
C. Environment Circle:
School teachers and school guards
Police press conference
Individual interviews
Restaurant patrons
Cafe patrons and waiter – Tom
Nanny
-
Big Little Lies – 5 star model.
The big hook in the show: what is being investigated? How are the characters involved?
As each character is introduced, you see unique personalities in actions and words. Connecting the characters to the first day of school establishes a reason for them to interact. Each character has insecurities that are evident in the character
Main character Madeleine Martha McKenzie is very involved in other people’s lives described by her daughter as “active talker”.
She exhibits layers of feelings when confronted with ex-husband and his wife Bonnie on the first day of school. And your are left with the open loop and unanswered question, “what happened?”. She states a disdain for working women (Renata)and has a difficult relationship with her oldest daughter clouded by her jealousy of her relationship with Bonnie. Conflict with Renata. She is so friendly to Jane that it is suspect.
Jane – newcomer to the community and doesn’t really fit. Has a son without a relationship with the father. Open loop flashbacks of her in a dress, walking on the beach, and a mans’ shoe print in the sand add to the unanswered questions about Jane. She is open about not feeling comfortable with Madeleine and Celeste. You feel empathy because of her income disparity. And empathy for her and her son when he is accused of hurting Amabella. Establishes an open loop question, did he?
Celeste -very physically into her husband but calm demeanor. Empathy/distress when her husband grabs her arm and hurts her.
Renata – strong sense of self with ego, very defensive when daughter is hurt at school. Directive and confronts Ziggy directly. She is aware that she is not liked by the other Mothers. Conflict begins with Madeleine.
Bonnie – wants her daughter and Madeleine’s daughter to get to know each other. Open loop and intrigue, why don’t they know each other since they have the same father?
Small snippets of the investigation and the interviews adds to the “inviting obsession” as the witnesses make statements about Madeleine and Jane. The unanswered questions in the first show are 1) What happened at the event? 2) whose footprint is in the sand? 3) did Ziggy hurt Amabella.
The placement of flawed characters in a “picture perfect” environment and the end shots of each person awake in bed contributes to the intrigue.
What did I learn?
The Five Star Model was present throughout the first show. I was able to recognize the components in the overall story and identify how the empathy/distress and open loop model was used to connect you with each character. Layers and open loops were abundant enough to motivate you to watch the next show.
Sherri D. Coffee
-
I agree to the terms of this agreement.
Sherri D Coffee
-
Hi everyone!
Sherri D. Coffee
I have written several “draft” scripts but definitely not “binge-worthy” material.
I am located in Atlanta, GA. My unique career requires me to be very knowledgeable in news stories so my appreciation for series shows is very high!
Look forward to the learning experience and hope to move my project forward.
Many thanks,
Sherri