Forum Replies Created

  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    February 20, 2023 at 7:59 pm in reply to: *Introduce Yourself to the Group

    Name: Sierra Zephyr

    Scripts: one

    Hope to get out of class: vastly upgraded script

    Unique: around the world, on the ground, 3+ times, long time in Asia both S. & E., studied Tibetan, was nurse, am licensed Acupuncturist, Herbalist, Notary, R.E. Broker, was EMT mountain rescue, blah blah blah…jill of all trades master of some, good bio for writer, n’est-ce pas?

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  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    February 20, 2023 at 7:56 pm in reply to: *Confidentiality Agreement

    Sierra Zephyr

    “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

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  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    October 20, 2021 at 4:35 pm in reply to: Day 2 Assignments

    Sierra’s Comedy Plot

    What I learned: so many pairs of incongruent people come to mind easily to pair up…raises the possibility of a lot of films, at least shorts, just for fun.

    Premise: Hypochondriac agoraphobic man meets Fitness fanatic female

    Fish out of water:

    Fitness female discovering him on the 76th floor surrounded by hoarded newspapers is tasked with getting Hypochondriac agoraphobic man out to the park to work out & to take long walks

    Inongruent Pairings:

    Hypochondriac saves Fitness gal from dread disease, she inspired him to move

    Hilarious Purpose:

    Fitness gal wins prize if she can pry Hypochondriac guy out of his rat’s nest.

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  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    October 20, 2021 at 2:44 pm in reply to: Day 1 Assignments

    Sierra’s Funny Scene!

    What I learned: Incongruency & character reveals, instantly out of the gate, almost every action or dialogue, as in As Good As It Gets by James L. Brooks & Mark Andrus, guarantees a start with a bang, and pace to set for the rest of the movie, which delivers the same, page after page.(I commented on the scenes below but it failed to post so I’m not going over it again.) The switches of personalities and open menace are all incongruously set up almost every action and dialogue.

    FADE IN:

    INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT

    ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an

    enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up

    against the cold — turning back to call inside to the

    unseen love of her long life.

    SWEET-FACED WOMAN

    I’m just going to get some

    flowers, dear. I’ll be back in

    twenty minutes. It’s tulip season

    today. I’m so happy.

    And now she turns and faces the hallway… her sweetness

    dissolves in a flash… replaced by repulsion and that

    quickly she has reversed herself and re-entered her

    apartment… closing the door as we consider her vacated.

    POV – MELVIN UDALL

    in the hallway… Well past 50… unliked, unloved,

    unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he’s ever

    met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength

    is totally focused on seducing a tiny dog into the

    elevator door he holds open.

    MELVIN

    Come here, sweetheart… come on.

    ON DOG

    Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.

    Melvin lets the elevator door close and advances on the

    mutt who has ignores him.

    MELVIN

    Wanna go for a ride? Okay,

    sweetie?

    The dog lifts his leg at the precise moment Melvin lunges

    and picks him up with a decisive heft — so that dog

    urine squirts the hall wall for a second or two. The DOG

    sensing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.

    MELVIN

    (a malevolent tone)

    You’ve pissed your last floor, you

    dog-eared monkey.

    The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much

    meaner and quicker than the dog — he holds his snout

    shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the

    garbage chute.

    MELVIN

    I’ll bet you wish you were some

    sort of real dog now, huh? Don’t

    worry… this is New York. If you

    can make it here, you can make it

    anywhere, you know? You ugly,

    smelly fuck.

    And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and

    lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING “ANOOOOS”

    from the DOG fade to nothingness… as another apartment

    door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON

    NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with

    Gothic horror and it’s strange that what that stew of

    trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.

    INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT

    Frantic… he bolts into the hall… Melvin is just about

    to enter his apartment.

    SIMON

    Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie…

    He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.

    SIMON

    Mr. Udall… excuse me. Hey

    there!

    (as Melvin turns)

    Have you seen Verdell?

    MELVIN

    What’s he look like?

    Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is

    directly opposite Simon’s.

    SIMON

    My dog… you know… I mean my

    little dog with the adorable

    face… Don’t you know what my dog

    looks like?

    MELVIN

    I got it. You’re talking about

    your dog. I thought that was the

    name of the colored man I’ve been

    seeing in the hall.

    Simon looks O.S. — and sees his black friend.

    SIMON

    Which color was that?

    MELVIN

    Like thick molasses, with one of

    those wide noses perfect for

    smelling trouble and prison

    food…

    Simon has had it.

    SIMON

    Frank Sachs — Melvin Udall.

    MELVIN

    (not missing a beat)

    How’re you doing?

    SIMON

    Franks shows my work, Mr. Udall. I

    think you know that.

    FRANK

    (overlapping)

    Simon, you’ve got to get dressed.

    MELVIN

    (to Simon)

    What I know is that as long as you

    keep your work zipped up around

    me, I don’t give a fuck what or

    where you shove your show. Are we

    being neighbors for now?

    SIMON

    (to Frank)

    Do you still think I was

    exaggerating?

    FRANK can only smile.

    FRANK

    Definitely a package you don’t

    want to open or touch.

    MELVIN

    Hope you find him. I love that

    dog.

    Simon, terminally non-confrontational, still finds

    himself compelled to turn back toward Melvin.

    SIMON

    (directly)

    You don’t love anything, Mr.

    Udall.

    Simon closes his door leaving Melvin alone in the

    hallway.

    MELVIN

    I love throwing your dog down the

    garbage chute.

    INT. MELVIN’S APARTMENT, BATHROOM – NIGHT

    Melvin locks and unlocks and locks his door, counting to

    five with each lock. He turns the lights quickly on and

    off and on five times and makes a straight-line towards

    his bathroom where he turns on the hot water and opens

    the medicine chest.

    INT. MEDICINE CHEST

    Scores of neatly stacked Neutrogena soaps. He unwraps

    one — begins to wash — discards it — goes through the

    process two more times.

    INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL – NIGHT

    A group of PARTY GOERS enters — followed by a HANDYMAN

    holding Verdell who looks and finds:

    SIMON

    who looks up — lights up — and tears up as he moves

    quickly toward the group and his dog.

    SIMON

    Thank the good Lord… wow… my

    honey… where have you been?

    PARTY GOER

    (thinking the greeting’s

    for him)

    He always liked me.

    As Simon goes past him to take the dog from the

    Handyman… JACKIE, Frank’s junior partner, barking a

    laugh at the Party Goer — VERDELL BARKING some love. As

    the others greet Simon, Jackie directs the group inside.

    Jackie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks

    some awful, sticky gunk from the dog’s body… he puts

    Verdell down to reach for his wallet — the tiny DOG YAPS

    in protest.

    SIMON

    Just for a second, okay?

    The DOG YAPS “no.” Simon, delighted, picks him up again.

    SIMON

    (kissing him on the mouth)

    Look at him… where was little

    baby?

    HANDYMAN

    (smiling)

    In the basement garbage bin eating

    diaper shit.

    Simon reacts — then notices the Handyman, tongue in

    cheek, trying to suppress his amusement.

    SIMON

    Go ahead, John, you earned your fun.

    (looking at Verdell)

    How did he get down in the

    basement? I mean even if he got

    on the elevator how… ?

    HANDYMAN

    Maybe some nice neighbor shoved

    him down the garbage chute.

    SIMON

    My God! No!

    He stares out… Frank frustrated following.

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  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    October 13, 2021 at 1:35 am in reply to: Introduce Yourself To the Group

    1. Name: Sierra Zephyr

    2. Scripts I’ve written: 1 completed short, in process of 1 feature, 1 TV show

    3. I hope to get out of the class:add comedy to what I’m writing now & dream up a comedy

    4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? used to study Sanskrit & Tibetan, spoke German, Italian & French.

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  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 5:50 pm in reply to: Confidentiality Agreement

    1. Sierra Zephyr

    2. I agree to the terms of this release form

    3. As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

    1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

    2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

    I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

    3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

    4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

    5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

    6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

    This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

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