
Sierra Zephyr
Forum Replies Created
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Name: Sierra Zephyr
Scripts: one
Hope to get out of class: vastly upgraded script
Unique: around the world, on the ground, 3+ times, long time in Asia both S. & E., studied Tibetan, was nurse, am licensed Acupuncturist, Herbalist, Notary, R.E. Broker, was EMT mountain rescue, blah blah blah…jill of all trades master of some, good bio for writer, n’est-ce pas?
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Sierra Zephyr
“I agree to the terms of this release form.”
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Sierra’s Comedy Plot
What I learned: so many pairs of incongruent people come to mind easily to pair up…raises the possibility of a lot of films, at least shorts, just for fun.
Premise: Hypochondriac agoraphobic man meets Fitness fanatic female
Fish out of water:
Fitness female discovering him on the 76th floor surrounded by hoarded newspapers is tasked with getting Hypochondriac agoraphobic man out to the park to work out & to take long walks
Inongruent Pairings:
Hypochondriac saves Fitness gal from dread disease, she inspired him to move
Hilarious Purpose:
Fitness gal wins prize if she can pry Hypochondriac guy out of his rat’s nest.
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Sierra’s Funny Scene!
What I learned: Incongruency & character reveals, instantly out of the gate, almost every action or dialogue, as in As Good As It Gets by James L. Brooks & Mark Andrus, guarantees a start with a bang, and pace to set for the rest of the movie, which delivers the same, page after page.(I commented on the scenes below but it failed to post so I’m not going over it again.) The switches of personalities and open menace are all incongruously set up almost every action and dialogue.
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT
ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an
enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up
against the cold — turning back to call inside to the
unseen love of her long life.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
I’m just going to get some
flowers, dear. I’ll be back in
twenty minutes. It’s tulip season
today. I’m so happy.
And now she turns and faces the hallway… her sweetness
dissolves in a flash… replaced by repulsion and that
quickly she has reversed herself and re-entered her
apartment… closing the door as we consider her vacated.
POV – MELVIN UDALL
in the hallway… Well past 50… unliked, unloved,
unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he’s ever
met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength
is totally focused on seducing a tiny dog into the
elevator door he holds open.
MELVIN
Come here, sweetheart… come on.
ON DOG
Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.
Melvin lets the elevator door close and advances on the
mutt who has ignores him.
MELVIN
Wanna go for a ride? Okay,
sweetie?
The dog lifts his leg at the precise moment Melvin lunges
and picks him up with a decisive heft — so that dog
urine squirts the hall wall for a second or two. The DOG
sensing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.
MELVIN
(a malevolent tone)
You’ve pissed your last floor, you
dog-eared monkey.
The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much
meaner and quicker than the dog — he holds his snout
shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the
garbage chute.
MELVIN
I’ll bet you wish you were some
sort of real dog now, huh? Don’t
worry… this is New York. If you
can make it here, you can make it
anywhere, you know? You ugly,
smelly fuck.
And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and
lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING “ANOOOOS”
from the DOG fade to nothingness… as another apartment
door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON
NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with
Gothic horror and it’s strange that what that stew of
trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT
Frantic… he bolts into the hall… Melvin is just about
to enter his apartment.
SIMON
Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie…
He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.
SIMON
Mr. Udall… excuse me. Hey
there!
(as Melvin turns)
Have you seen Verdell?
MELVIN
What’s he look like?
Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is
directly opposite Simon’s.
SIMON
My dog… you know… I mean my
little dog with the adorable
face… Don’t you know what my dog
looks like?
MELVIN
I got it. You’re talking about
your dog. I thought that was the
name of the colored man I’ve been
seeing in the hall.
Simon looks O.S. — and sees his black friend.
SIMON
Which color was that?
MELVIN
Like thick molasses, with one of
those wide noses perfect for
smelling trouble and prison
food…
Simon has had it.
SIMON
Frank Sachs — Melvin Udall.
MELVIN
(not missing a beat)
How’re you doing?
SIMON
Franks shows my work, Mr. Udall. I
think you know that.
FRANK
(overlapping)
Simon, you’ve got to get dressed.
MELVIN
(to Simon)
What I know is that as long as you
keep your work zipped up around
me, I don’t give a fuck what or
where you shove your show. Are we
being neighbors for now?
SIMON
(to Frank)
Do you still think I was
exaggerating?
FRANK can only smile.
FRANK
Definitely a package you don’t
want to open or touch.
MELVIN
Hope you find him. I love that
dog.
Simon, terminally non-confrontational, still finds
himself compelled to turn back toward Melvin.
SIMON
(directly)
You don’t love anything, Mr.
Udall.
Simon closes his door leaving Melvin alone in the
hallway.
MELVIN
I love throwing your dog down the
garbage chute.
INT. MELVIN’S APARTMENT, BATHROOM – NIGHT
Melvin locks and unlocks and locks his door, counting to
five with each lock. He turns the lights quickly on and
off and on five times and makes a straight-line towards
his bathroom where he turns on the hot water and opens
the medicine chest.
INT. MEDICINE CHEST
Scores of neatly stacked Neutrogena soaps. He unwraps
one — begins to wash — discards it — goes through the
process two more times.
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL – NIGHT
A group of PARTY GOERS enters — followed by a HANDYMAN
holding Verdell who looks and finds:
SIMON
who looks up — lights up — and tears up as he moves
quickly toward the group and his dog.
SIMON
Thank the good Lord… wow… my
honey… where have you been?
PARTY GOER
(thinking the greeting’s
for him)
He always liked me.
As Simon goes past him to take the dog from the
Handyman… JACKIE, Frank’s junior partner, barking a
laugh at the Party Goer — VERDELL BARKING some love. As
the others greet Simon, Jackie directs the group inside.
Jackie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks
some awful, sticky gunk from the dog’s body… he puts
Verdell down to reach for his wallet — the tiny DOG YAPS
in protest.
SIMON
Just for a second, okay?
The DOG YAPS “no.” Simon, delighted, picks him up again.
SIMON
(kissing him on the mouth)
Look at him… where was little
baby?
HANDYMAN
(smiling)
In the basement garbage bin eating
diaper shit.
Simon reacts — then notices the Handyman, tongue in
cheek, trying to suppress his amusement.
SIMON
Go ahead, John, you earned your fun.
(looking at Verdell)
How did he get down in the
basement? I mean even if he got
on the elevator how… ?
HANDYMAN
Maybe some nice neighbor shoved
him down the garbage chute.
SIMON
My God! No!
He stares out… Frank frustrated following.
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1. Name: Sierra Zephyr
2. Scripts I’ve written: 1 completed short, in process of 1 feature, 1 TV show
3. I hope to get out of the class:add comedy to what I’m writing now & dream up a comedy
4. Something unique, special, strange or unusual about you? used to study Sanskrit & Tibetan, spoke German, Italian & French.
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1. Sierra Zephyr
2. I agree to the terms of this release form
3. As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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