Sherry Miller
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What I learned…Yes, every class, all of them, improved my work. I know class is ended but didn’t get to post some of my work for comment in What I Learned…segments. I chose The Ending lesson here. I believe it does show climax and growth and ends the way it should. That’s interesting but some of my earlier scenes in the book need improvement to get to that point. I will make the necessary character changes. So… here is my scene. From last chapter of my book, “Without Whimsey.” In the climax, my pampered slave girl, Mattie, had just had an altercation, not with the slave catcher she was running from, but the town cobbler (a self-serving businessman, a snitch, pretty evil) He snatches her coveted magic mojo bag. He flings it in the river. After throwing it, he gets his due Karma. He slips, slides in the mud, smacks into the turbulent water (a stormy night) and disappears. The thing is, Wild Bill, who knows how much this bag of memories means to Mattie, jumps in to save it. Mattie runs along the river bank calling to him. Fearing for his safety. She doesn’t want to lose him like she lost her brother, Whimsey. Flashbacks of her brother come to mind. Seeing Bill go under, she goes crazy, thinks he’s drowning. Then a hand shoots out of the water, dangling the mojo bag. The part I’m posting takes place just after this. When Wild Bill convinces her to move on. They are in the woods about to perform an Indian ceremony like Wild Bill does sometimes to make things right. While getting ready, he tells her how the family was sneaking slaves out by trickery. A decoy wagon full of poo. (The Hickok family was really part of the Underground) They talk about a tall tale he told. About a canoe used as a boy’s casket.
My oh my. Lordy, Mattie thought. How clever were the Hickoks. Outsmarting those slave catchers like that. No one could accuse them of hiding slaves now. They wouldn’t find them in the ‘wrong’ wagon. Or inside the house either by the time they came back.
“The ‘right’ wagon will go far as Ney’s,” Wild Bill said. He hesitated. “Without you.”
“Oh?” Mattie was surprised. “Why? Thought I was – ”
He cleared his throat. “Maybe I don’t want you to go.” He looked away.
Mattie’s eyes grew wide. She couldn’t think. She tapped his shoulder. When he turned around, she brushed his cheek with her lips.
“Dog-gone. Why’d…uh, you do that?”
“Because -” In her head, she added, “You’re so accidentally…like Whimsey.”
“You can stay. Help if you want. That’s all I’m sayin’,” he said.
Her stomach flip-flopped. What died in her several weeks ago suddenly stirred. Her mouth curved into a smile. She wrapped her arms around Bill’s waist pulling him close. He was so like her brother. “You’ll see. I’ll drive the wagon. I’ll get a wolf skin of my own.”
Wild Bill laughed, then knitted his eyebrows. Did his look become serious? In the dim light, it was hard to tell. He thrust the mojo bag in front of her. “It’s time,” he said. “Let go.”
“I know,” Mattie answered. She loosened the strings. One last time, she wiggled her finger inside. Soft. Velvety. Warm. Full of things. Magic. She pulled out her finger, drew the strings ’til it closed. Then she sauntered to the river’s edge.
“Where you going?” Wild Bill asked.
Mattie searched. Something had to hold up the bag so it wouldn’t sink. “It was an old Indian canoe, right? His father floated him down the river in it, right? A burial?”
Bill nodded. “Why? You find that canoe?”
Leaves. A few waxy ones left over. Not yet brittle. Not yet snapping apart, crumbling in her hand. Creating a nest with them, she wove the stems in and out, and layered them. At last, she was ready. She set the nest gently on the now flattened calm water. She kept her fingers under the leaves, not letting them go. Not yet. The water pulled. She waited. Closed her eyes.
“Hear the Indian drums. The ceremony? Bom-bom-bom-bom,” she said, mimicking Indian drums with her words.
“Bom-bom-bom-bom,” Wild Bill chanted. He gathered up the wolf skin, put it on, danced around.
Mattie cried for a while, quiet gentle tears…
“Goodbye Whimsey,” she whispered. She held the mojo bag for a minute more. This was so hard. She couldn’t really let go. Could she?
Dark red smudged gray sky to the East. Morning would be here soon. Resting his hand on her shoulder, Wild Bill squeezed. Gently, Mattie set the bag in the center of the leaves. She let go. -
Muhammad Ali mustered up courage and resolve to win many fights. And he was true to self, gave it his best. He was no different out of the ring when it came to justice in real life. He supported social causes, spoke out against racism, and especially opposed the Vietnam war. “Ali” gave movie-goers a good portrayal job by Will Smith, btw. This scene is explosive, full of energy, and conviction. Breaking Point: Stripped of his title by the Boxing Commission, Ali is given an ultimatum: offer an apology or no more boxing matches. Ali does not. He’s not being defiant or scared to die. It’s just that if he’s gonna die, he wants it to be for something he believes in – not killing people. The quality of the Monologue is A+. It showcases his inner virtue, his beliefs, his convictions, even his sensitivity for other people in compromised conditions such as war. “I ain’t draft-dodgin'”, he spouts. “I ain’t burnin’ no flag, and I ain’t runnin’ to Canada.” Right away, we know who he is: someone determined, who won’t die fighting a useless war. And won’t die for something he doesn’t believe in. His past wounds: Once, after winning a fight that made him a national champion, he enters an “all white” restaurant. He’s turned down because he’s black. All he wanted was a steak to celebrate. This deep wound bleeds out when he bashes rascism in his monologue. “You are my opposer when I want freedom, You want me to fight for you? You won’t even stand up for me. In America.” Wow. Powerful. “You want to send me to jail? I’ve been in jail for 400 years!” He goes on to say that he’s not goin’ 70,000 miles to help murder people he doesn’t know. Poor people. We now know he’s a steadfast peace activist. This level of emotion shows us Ali’s truth. He makes the tough decision. Boxing, which is his life, or no boxing. He gives it up to stand in his truth – He is a “conscientious objector.” A pacifist. He will not go to war because it’s morally wrong. Drama this scene is built around? Right after the world of boxing let’s him go, he walks out into a crowd of reporters and cameramen. He walks so fast, he practically jogs. Cameras are flashing. He’s also talking fast and loud. His speech is animated, in your face, as his head turns side to side shouting into microphones shoved at his mouth. His future becomes clear. His traits: humility despite success, outspoken, spirituality, charisma, genuine, honesty. They will prevail. He converts to Islam and spends a life in peace and prayer.
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Who hasn’t been uncomfortable meeting your fiance’s or significant other’s parents? Or the rest of the family, for that matter? Greg and his fiance, Pam, are visiting her parents because her sister’s getting married. And her Father, Jack, former CIA agent, demands an old-fashioned proposal which includes asking permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage. He’s domineering, so protective of his daughter. And overbearing with everyone else. Immediately you know something just might go awry on what’s supposed to be a fun-filled meaningful weekend. Jack acts superior to Greg from the start. He’s not happy Greg male nurse as a profession. Greg’s wife-to-be is a school teacher, used to her Father’s antics, and unsuspecting they clash. Greg is the kind of person who rolls merrily along in life, not trying too hard, though test scores prove he’s quite bright. It takes this weekend to test his mettle. Love for his girlfriend drives him, as well as a shield of self-pride. He’s surely going to take action to protect their relationship. Another thing that adds to his problems: his fiance’s sister is getting married to a doctor. There’s competition. Does the doctor look down on him – a mere nurse? I do get the feeling Pam’s Father is setting Greg up for failure. In this scene, we find Greg curious. He’s exploring the house to find out more about the family. He hears a noise, stumbles upon a room with a light on. Jack suddenly appears, flips on the light, startling him. “See anything interesting?” Greg is so uncomfortable, you can feel it. It’s like being caught opening someone’s medicine cabinet. He stammers, “Oh no. No-no.” He claims he was concerned because a light was left on. He’s checking it out. Then, very uncomfortabe, says, “a cozy little nook.” It’s anything but–there’s an antique polygraph machine in the corner. “Is that what that is?” Greg asks, pointing. Jack goads him to use it, take a test, find out his motives. He’s suspicious, controlling. “Why don’t you try this on?” he says, holding out the cuff. Greg resists. “Oh come on. We’ll have some fun.” and “Don’t worry. You’ll enjoy this!” Jack urges. There’s a knowing grin on his face. Greg squirms. He’s strapped to the machine, in a very weak position. It now becomes an uneven challenge. “These aren’t accurate, right?” Greg tries. “You’d be surprised how accurate they are,” Jack answers. “Can really tell if someone’s lying,” he adds. The freaked-out look on Greg’s face and his silence is priceless. Jack begins with harmless questions. Greg is relieved for only a moment. “Relax. Did you fly here?” “Yes.” Did you have pot roast tonight for dinner?” “Yes.” “Was it undercooked?” Hesitation. “Ah…no.” The machine goes crazy. “Uh…yes, just too rare for my taste.” And then the zinger, the most uncomfortable question of all. Greg’s helpless. Jack’s in complete control now yet acts casual. Drama is built around their being trapped together in a dark part of the house. Alone. At night. With a machine holding Greg hostage. Like being in a police station. There’s distrust for him or maybe anyone dating Jack’s daughter. Greg’s wound: Always told he’s smart and can be more, (his fiance’s okay with that.) yet he chooses what makes him feel right. Some chide him for his choices. Jack’s wound: had a tough job, relied upon to interrogate suspicious people, and perhaps suffered push-back and rejection for his conservative beliefs. Last question he asks for polygraph: “Ever watch pornographic videos?” Greg’s shocked, hesitates, says, “No.” The machine goes really wild indicating that’s a lie. Things are now too personal, private. How can Greg defend himself? Will this end his romance? Is the proposal off? Individual traits and secrets are perfect points to build this scene. Now Greg’s tasked with making himself worthy. Before the weekend’s over.
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Loved this movie for its deep psychological insight. Quite an achievement for Matt Damon and Ben Affleck who each followed their dreams to accomplish this masterpiece. Probably a little heavy on satirical writing and some lengthy scenes, but for the most part brilliant writing with solid character development. Will is ordered to be in therapy but he sabotages his time with every psycholgist he meets. I get the feeling that Sean, this particular school psychologist, is his last hope. Sean knows about Will’s genious and is excited about meeting someone with such great promise. Sean is brilliant, too, so they’re evenly matched. Right away when they meet, Will sets the tone for his usual tricks. Daring anyone to question his prowess by spouting out all he knows in a derogatory manner. What Will’s actually doing is exposing his own turmoil and wounds inside. He’s raw, has been sexually abused. Will starts by degrading history books and intellectual tomes Sean has on display. He chides him, “You surround yourself with these fancy history books.” And asks why he doesn’t have a real history book. Though he notices a photo of soldiers, Vietnam?, recognizes Sean, I believe, which makes him hesitate. Perhaps he believes Sean has suffered a little, too. Sean shoots back that he can put the cigarette up his ass. That it may be healthier. Will answers, “Yeah, I know, it really gets in the way of my yoga.” Love the punch line. Evenly matched again. Sean has an answer to counter everything Will says. And Will escalates things. He stares at a painting signed by Sean (McGuire), starts tearing it apart verbally, suggesting he now knows who Sean is inside. “It’s linear, a muffled painting.” “Waves are crashing. It’s a (&%*) storm.” To me, Will’s describing his own turmoil inside, his feelings. He ends, “Van Gogh? (didn’t hear this well) was never very good.” “Sean retorts, “That’s odd. It’s a paint by numbers.” At this point, we know their conversations’s building to a limit, a breaking point. Because it gets more personal. Will says something about “cutting his ear off.” Sean retorts, “Think I should move to the south of France, make my first name Vincent?” They both agree that “Time’s up” when Will gets a breakthrough. He takes a stab at Sean’s wound. “Maybe you married the wrong woman.” And suggests that it shows in the painting proving why he became a psychologist in the first place. An altercation follows, rising to fever pitch. “That’s it. You married the wrong woman.” I believe Will’s trying to say a close relationship won’t work for himself, proving it by downgrading Sean’s. Therefore, proving that all relationships probably end in failure. Breaking Point: Will actually believes he will always fail at personal relationships. Because love doesn’t last. He’d rather shut himself out, use sarcasm for protection. Will goes too far, yells, “What happened? She leave you. Or was she banging someone else?” Sean lunges for Will’s throat yelling, “If you ever disrespect my wife again, I’ll end you.” It’s a revelation to Will. Sean’s wife is dead. Sean realizes he must explore his own emotions, too. We find out later that he suffered pain as well. Are they both ready to heal, move on?
Drama is built around a small psychologist’s office (believe it is on-campus) filled with text books. A place for learning. Freedom to speak, discover. Will is secretive, his demeaner a facade, carries deep hurt, yet has a sarcastic veneer bordering on humorous. He feels lost, covers up with intellect, acts suspicious, sometimes vengeful. Sean knows about Will’s genious and believes he’s worth saving. Drama builds because Will’s a reluctant client. This Doctor and client end up in a tightly cluttered small office. Just the two of them. Will does shows up for the challenge, the vengeful fun, with a “you can’t get to me,” attitude. Sean is curious, funny, satirical, quick-witted, intellectual, down-to-earth, sensitive about certain issues. What a face-off. Definite break-throughs. We, as viewers, are excited about what the final ending will be. -
Sheriff Rick Grimes is a cop sommitted to safety for families, especially children. Imagine when he wakes from a coma and discovers a world disheveled, disrupted, where nothing feels safe anymore, So when a young girl (brilliant we only see her feet under the car and her backside at first) shuffles past him wearing sweet bunny slippers and reaching for a teddy bear, he’s determined to help her. Personally, my heart skipped a beat when this unseen child picks up the teddy bear. After he calls to her and she turns around, he’s horrified to see blood on her lips and face as if she devoured something. He’s hesitant, loyal, devoted, determined, loves his son deeply and metes out justice. However, this little girl comes toward him, threatening him. He’s instantly cautious. She growls, slobbers, and comes faster and faster toward him. His own values tell him to not shoot innocents, especially children. However, this is survival so his training kicks in; he reluctantly pulls out his gun and shoots her in the head. I see the conflict in his eyes. He’s torn with emotion and fright. Scene is brilliantly built around a parking lot full of cars, devoid of people. It’s full of debris, blood, and looks trashed. Drama: He’s aware that something horrible took place here. He learns of the Zombie Apocalypse and feels it’s his duty to do something about it. The future is evident. More of this will happen and conflicts will get worse. There are more like her out there. He must act.
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Vinny, a lawyer who never won a case, and Mona Lisa Vita, his girlfriend (fiance) are put to a relationship test in this scene. They must win a murder case that involves a family member who asks for help. What drives this scene as it begins is the argument they have before she’s called to the stand by Vinny. She’s hurt, vulnerable. He’s agitated but determined. 3rd player in this is the prosecutor who’s smug, cocky, and nervous. He believes her testimony won’t matter because she’s dumb. Mona is street-wise but her unrefined speech makes her seem what she isn’t. Her secret? She’s actually much smarter, understands legal, and is an automotive expert. Just so happens Vinny is defending his cousin and friend who owns the same type of car as the murderer. Mona doesn’t want to be here after the argument so she acts feisty, emotional, outspoken, talkative, and throws barbs. Her character test is interrogation. Vinney’s desperate because he doesn’t want to disappoint family or himself. His test is how he handles her; at the same time court. The prosecutor thinks this will be easy, so he asks, “What do you do in your Father’s garage?” She answers, haughty…”engine-building, mechanics, tire changes.” Then comes the test question: “Does that qualify you to be an expert on tire marks?” Love that this dialog ends with “tire marks.” And not “expert.” Vinny offers that she has more expertise, eyeing her, challenging her to show her expertise. So, the unsuspecting prosecutor falls into the trap, asking a completely bogus, made-up question about a certain Chevy car, even adding the wrong year of manufacture. The challenge is on and Mona can’t resist. “Bull-shit question,” she offers. “Because you don’t know the answer.” The challenge continues. “Watch this,” Vinny says under his breath, smiling. As an audience, we’re ready for a bomb-shell or defeat. Miss Mona Lisa hedges, “That’s impossible to answer.” then adds, “because no can answer. It’s a trick question.” The judge asks, “How so?” She launches into a long involved answer about why it’s crap. Because that model of Chevy was actually made in ’65, not ’55, etc. Loved that part so much and the stunned look on the prosecutor’s face as well as Vinny’s satisfaction folding his arms, stretching out his legs with that “told ‘ya” look on his face. He wins a case for the first time! The dialog and actions give these characters depth. We know more about them: Loyalties, determination, anger, love. This test went well for the characters with a positive outcome. The scene is built around relationship drama and plays out in the perfect spot for drama – a courtroom. One thing I noticed: How Vinny and Mona Lisa interacted in the courtroom is how they interact with each other in real life.
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I may have forgotten this. But I’ve been exchanging some work every week with Judith Watson. I may be able to post what I’ve been exchanging with her. Where do I do that?
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Rudy, a kid who’s small in stature, has dyslexia. And is an unlikely candidate to play football, let alone be a hero for the team. But Rudy doesn’t give up on his dreams. One by one, he achieves. Even overcomes dyslexia with help from someone with expertise. He has drive, spirit, determination, overcomes the odds, and strives, not letting go of the goal. A big turning point is when a friend dies. He almost doesn’t make it into Notre Dame but he captures hearts and finds people who root for him along the way, including the support of his parents. He even attends another college to get the grades needed first. The climax is the final game of the season. His character takes him to the Ending we think might not happen. Because he’s purposely been told to sit out the game. They’ll use him if needed. But…he says, “I’ve been ready for this my whole life.” That rings in my ears. It ‘s powerful. And it’s humorous when he’s finally in the game and says, “What do I do?” “Stay there.,” says the coach. That might not have happened if the whole team wasn’t behind him, caring about him, wanting him to succeed. The players go so far as to change a play to give him a chance to step in. And the entire stadium shouts, “Rudy. Rudy.” Even the coach eventually says, “Rudy.” It builds to the perfect ending so well. It all fits. All those rooting for Rudy, then Rudy himself realizing his dream after all the hard work to get there. It’s set up so well. After the play change, Rudy makes his play and tackles the opposing team’s quarterback to win the game. He sits on the shoulders of his teammates. The breakthrough points that makes this all work; how those around him support him in true team spirit. They are experience winning at the end, too. Because they make his dream happen as much as Rudy himself. A movie about failing but ultimately achieving a dream will take your heart away every time. Fitting ending -upbeat.
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I usually work to a climax in a story when I write. And the climax usually coinsides with my characters. Now I see that a character’s climax can happen at a different time in the story as each has a separate journey. That’s proved in this scene. Cypher has gone ballistic. He’s fought, there’s no end, he’s done. Due to anger and despair, he fails to see any good in the future. He feels betrayed by Morpheus and his girlfriend. His own perspective is dark: the unfairness, the hopelessness, feeling manipulated by dark forces, and his own shortcomings of betrayal, jealousy. So, he’s flipped out and about to shoot up everything when the phone rings. Sounds loud and lonely, sets the tone, the tension. It’s Trinity and Neo. “Don’t hate me, Trinity. I’m just the messenger,” Cyher says, as if seeking forgiveness for what he’s about to do. He shoots fire, kills. And he unplugs his friends. Two die right in front of Trinity and Neo. Though he won’t pull Neo’s. Because Morpheus has that final hold on him about how important Neo is. Cypher cries out, “I’d rather live in a beautiful illusion.” “Matrix isn’t real,” Trinity tries to explain. His perspective is that the unreal world is better. Though it really isn’t. He says he thought he wanted the truth. Now doesn’t. He expresses feelings: “I’m tired of this war.” “I wish I could be there when they break ‘ya.” “Free? You call this free?” “I choose the Matrix.” Another character does blow him away, stopping him. Other characters are engaging because they try to stop Cypher. They’re still horrified by death, afraid of their own demise. They care about each other. And they still believe in Morpheus and ultimately defeating this evil. We see character depth in how they express their feelings – pronounced horror, shock, sadness, and caring.
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Neo, a computer programmer is in denial. Monstrous machines have taken over the world and sucking energy from humans to survive. Never saw much of these movies, just bits and pieces but now see the fascinating premise. After all, AI is a big concern today. And I do love watching Keanu Reeves in many of his movies. Regarding Turning Point. Morpheus, who has escaped The Matrix (place where these humans are stuck) is trying to get together a sort of army to defeat them. Neo, computer programmer by day and hacker by night is trying to get to the bottom of his discontent, suspicions, to find the Matrix. Trinity, the girl, leads him to Morpheus, in a dark laboratory where this scene opens. Darkness and shadows help make this scene. Neo now realizes there is a Matrix. He must get free from The Matrix by taking a red pill or blue pill. If blue, his fantasy of regular life he always knew would continue. But he’d forget everything. He’s conflicted, not sure he wants to stay in that place. The Red Pill is scary, full of unknowns, but will lead him to the truth. He takes the Red pill just as Morheus says, “Buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy. Because Kansas is going bye-bye.” Love this line. It’s sort indicates a reversal of fantasy and real, a foreshadowing. Which will he experience? What follows is horrifying. As a viewer, my own eyes went wide. Neo was in a cocoon as were other human bodies. Attached to cords that were sucking the very strength and life out of him. He fights; he’s shocked. What makes him engaging is he doesn’t believe what he’s told at first and has a hard time believing it even as his journey’s happening. But he changes forever in this scene. And it’s his Turning Point. He will join, fight with Morpheus and Trinity. Just as he tries to fight a monster machine which throws itself at him, hating his rebelliousness. He’s changed forever, no longer content or just curious. Keanu Reeves is so good at showing character depth. His expressions, body language, all of it takes us to the next plot point. Breakthrough: He will fight to the bloody end to restore the life he once knew.
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The first scene cleverly opens with a man asking a favor of someone we can’t see. Man spouts, “I believe in America, taught my daughter not to dishonor her family (key point for characterization), boyfriend not Italian (a problem) and he and his friend beat her up because she resisted them. She’s in a hospital. Camera pans out to see a hand very still next to a face…Don Corleone. He’s put in a challenging situation when this man asks for justice, a huge favor. Camera lets us see all of Corleone who asks why he went to police 1st, suggesting that wasn’t the friendly thing to do. All of this is in front of a few family members, employees, and possibly a body guard. Godfather says “no” to helping at first saying it’s his daughter’s wedding day (family comes first). However, Godfather prods the man into submission, indicating he never called him a friend. So the man complies, calls Corleone his “friend” now, vowing to come only to him for help, perhaps do a favor in return when needed, then bows and kisses Godfather’s ring. Interesting dialogue and characterization. Corleone is petting a purring cat (engaging) making him almost likable, demands loyalty, will take care of family always as long as they don’t cross him. He appears engaging, thoughtfl, wise, and calm. When the man offers money, Godfather is offended, says that’s disrespectful. By action and word, we already know he’s vengeful, will kill who he has to, and exerts power over those around him. But hey, enjoy the wedding. Therefore, the action he finally takes fits this character. Don’t do the dirty deed yourself, hand it over to someone else you can trust. Which becomes interesting dialogue when Godfather orders gently, “Give this to Clementi. We want reliable people. People who are not going to be carried away. We’re not murderers no matter what the undertaker says.” If we, as writers, can come up with lines like that, capturing real character, we will create amazing scenes.
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Quickly, to comment on Silence of the Lambs. Clarice is fierce, determined, strong, cautious, has good instincts, but suffers insecurities (saw lambs slaughtered when a young girl, an injustice, will fight for justice). As a rookie FBI agent, she must help hunt a serial killer. To understand the worst of a pyshopath, she’s sent to interview Hannibal Lector, a monster killer. The interview is the first turning point. She’s warned to “not let him get in her head.” He’s such a monster, he does dominate her thoughts. It takes great will to get past that. Lector’s stare is freaky. He taunts, is sure of himself, has no emotion while a master of other’s emotion. He performs, playacts, never feels. He’s spooky. And won’t ever stop. Clarice goes after Buffalo Bill. Turning point: FBI goes to wrong house. Clarice is at right house confronting the serial killer where he harbors his next victim, still alive. Stakes are high. Clarice is in the dark while he’s wearing night goggles and can see her. Climax: Confrontation. Clarice kills him. Ending: Hannibal Lector has his own agenda. He fools everyone, gets into her head, yet still helps her get Buffalo Bill. Final Turning Point: Hannibal escapes. Climax: He contacts Clarice, says he’s not planning to harm her, tells her who he’s going to kill next. In the Bahamas. Ending: Clarice may’ve gotten the serial killer but is troubled. Hannibal Lector will remain in her head. Perhaps there should’ve been a 2nd movie where she finds the escapee, Lector.
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Character Structure:
Andrew’s Journey: Intro: The Proposal begins with chaos. Andrew’s alarm clock goes off late. He’s rushing around. Clearly he’s dedicated to work and doing a good job. And he’s afraid at the moment. Being late is an issue at this job. More than most. Because he slams into coffee vendor and gets it all over his shirt. It’s disorderly. He makes it to his desk just as his BOSS arrives. Wound: He’s given up on a love back home and isn’t interested in romance right now. Act I, turning point: He asks for weekend off for a family event. His boss who contributes to chaos as she rushes in, turns his request down. He peeks into boss’s office for consult and is pulled into a lie. He’s tricked into marrying his boss. Midpoint: Journey really begins. He’s in Alaska with his boss and relatives for a birthday. Soon his family thinks they’re getting married. A real complication. With cause and effect. He wants out. The family plans a more immediate wedding. In Alaska! Now Andrew must lie even more and pretend. Act 2: Change, Turning point. The family coaxes them into a kiss, a real kiss. And it’s magic. They connect. Andrew’s old girlfriend, however, shows up to complicate matters. There’s a change. And he’s more in charge than his boss. Climax: They are forced to tell the truth just as Andrew is showing interest in his boss and he’s conflicted between two women. His boss, Margaret has loosened up a little showing the real person underneath. (famous dancing scene instigated by Betty White) Capable of love and telling the truth. they both head back home. No wedding. Ending: Andrew realizes he does love Margaret and actually proposes for real. And, of course, the infamous kiss.
Margaret’s Journey: We’re introduced to a frantic Margaret, so ambitious, she will do anything to advance at her job. Must be wounded because whe wants nothing to do with men or marriage. Turning Point: Her board calls her to a meeting where she finds her Visa is a problem and she’ll be deported. She gets the brainy idea to marry someone to keep her job. Andrew appears and she nabs him as her lover, fiance. He’s reluctant, but she’s ready to fire him if he doesn’t comply. Midpoint: In Alaska with family complications. Many humorous moments where they taunt each other but pretend to be happy together. Turning Point: The infamous kiss that reveals they may spark, be in love. Margaret finds out more about herself and feelings. Climax: She has grown to love this family and must tell the truth. Consequences are harsh but also promising. There’s disbelief, anger, sadness. Ending: Another kiss and a very out-in-the-open proposal reversed. At the office. She’s less of a tyrranical boss. He’s ready to advance in work and love. Such a fun movie! -
Wow! When your own emotions rise to fever pitch when watching this movie, you know it’s great. It’s done it’s job. This is basically a modern romance built around music careers (and another version of A Star is Born. Possibly the best one). In this parking lot scene, it seemed they were already into each other. The long stares. The inuendo in their small talk. So…I decided to find the scene where they first met. In a bar, Ally sings her heart out in sexy dress and song “La Vie En Rose.” Jackson’s suddenly listening, not taking his eyes off her. He’s impressed. He’s already a star and sees a future for her. His soul mate? This excites him. Moving on to the parking lot, there’s such intensity between them as they sit on the ground and talk. It becomes more physical; they’re close, alone, and touching. Ally, Gaga, suddenly starts singing. She’s a little shy in public, but she trusts Jackson. She’s attracted to him right from the start. Now her feelings show. Their eyes are always connecting with each other. We’ve always heard in acting classes…”Act with your eyes.” And boy, these two did that. What draws them together is music, recognizing each other’s amazing talent. On the spot, Ally, writes a song. She talks/sings it, “Tell me something, boy, are you tired of trying to fill that void.” She perceptive and knows he needs something more than stardom. As an audience, we want them to connect, have a deeper relationship. Jackson suddenly asks, “Did you just write that?” She’s a little self-effacing but admits it. Now he’s even more impressed. A breakthrough, he’s here to stay, help her with her music, a path to being a star. In her breakthrough, she reveals a secret. She writes her own songs. Both have had wounds, both rejections. His wounds seem more in the past and he needs to deal with them. Hers are recent. Alley’s sweet, self-effacing, shy yet ambitious, supportive, strong. Determined and committed to music as well as to Jackson. She sings, “I’m falling…” and trails off. A breakthrough…falling in love. As she has more breakthroughs, we know she will grow stronger and more confident. Jackson is sensitive when it comes to love and his music. He’s a bit possessive, kind and giving, devoted. But has a wounded dark side. He’s played hard, partied hard and keeps deep feelings tucked inside a little. Okay, drama the scene is built around? Hmm. A convenience store parking lot late at night. Guaranteed to be dark. And they’ll be alone. Maybe a car or two, someone coming out with a coffee. Not much activity. It establishes their own little world, just the two of them.
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This was sort of like “The Sting.” I’m actually more of a fan of “The Sting.” But here goes…
Julia Roberts, Tess, sips her drink, content. Then the surprise, her husband, fresh out of prison, shows up, wants her back. Interesting that this scene does work without Terry, the 3rd person of the triangle, visible. Although he’s alluded to. What makes this interesting is how dialogue clips along, snappy, revealing quite a bit about Tess and Danny. “I don’t smoke. Don’t sit.” We get the feeling she’s a little reformed since Danny and wishes he’d go away. “They tell me I paid my debt to society,” he says. “Funny, I never got a check,” she answers. “Where’s your ring?” “I sold it.” She’s ready to move on; he isn’t. She accuses him of being a thief and a liar. He announces “I don’t do that anymore.” “Lie.” The big reveal. Future. We know now he’s still a thief, plans to rob the casino. Not just any casino but the one her new boyfriend owns. Revenge? Traits that help make this triangle work: Danny’s sarcastic, funny, determined, ambitious, charming, possessive, and cocky. Tess is tired of his antics, fed up, ready to move on, educated (she’s curator of an art gallery). He was her wound. His wound is losing her when he did jail time. He jabs that he’s confused, doesn’t know the difference between Monet and Manet (I know how he feels. Ha!). Her jab insinuates he doesn’t work for a living. “They also painted occasionally,” she adds. She needs a more steady reliable relationship and expresses that. Danny doesn’t get it because he asks, “Does he make you laugh?” We instantly know how they always interacted with each other. She answers, future in her words: “He doesn’t make me cry.” The scene is built around a busy restaurant with wine and food in a gambling casino. This movie is based on a gamble, a big one for Danny and his 11 accomplices, all for revenge. Conflict escalates with each conversational jab.
The only triangle like this I can see in my novel is a scene where Wild Bill’s brother opposes helping and hiding Mattie, my main character. She’s a liability to him. -
Wow! This movie’s on my list to watch. Racism, segregation, getting along, working toward the same goal together are themes in our society today. A power struggle is created immediately with upbeat music and a black man marching with determination toward two white men. We soon find out that the school has merged black and white into the football program. And the new black coach, Herman Boone, practically struts onto the scene, sure of himself. He’s used to this kind of situation, it seems. His wound? This scene demands these characters have a power struggle: One black coach and two white coaches. Boone’s outnumbered but gets the upper hand right away by acting like he has a job to do and that job is “to win.” Just as the other two want “to win.” A common goal that may bring them together. So, he’s there to coach. Just coach. And shows it by handing them his completed playbook. The white coach, Yoast, states, “It’s awful skinny.” Boom. Return power struggle. Love how Boone ignores that remark. Shows even more power. When two young football players show up for the bus, they start the 2nd power struggle with Boone. Everyone in the crowd pays attention including Bertier’s (player) parents. “How can I help you boys?” asks Boone, putting himself in a position of power, taking no nonsense. Especially poignant since this takes place in 1971 during desegregation of schools. Racial tensions run high. Gary, the kid, immediately states HIS rules. “Don’t need any of your people.” All the players will be from their school, it seems. Love how this scene has personality breakthroughs through dialogue. Boone doesn’t argue or defend himself. He’s prepared once again. He asks questions, uses mocking humor. What did you say your name was? Jerry? Jerry Lewis? Dean Martin? He establishes he’s boss first by comedy, 2nd by humiliating the two boys in front of the crowd, and then 3rd by etablishing he’s their parent when they play football. All with a calm steady voice. “Who’s your Daddy?” he asks over and over again, until Gary, embarrassed, says in a low voice, “You.” Powerful. To show he’s reasonable, caring, Boone adds, “Get on the bus. Put your jacket on first.” Put on the jacket…it may be cold, I will take care of you, implied. And then Boone says to the second kid, “Fix that tie, son.”
In my novel “Without Whimsey” I wrote a scene where the guide catches up to Mattie, who was continuing her journey alone through Illinois. The guide is mad at the stupid things Mattie does that might give them away. Henrietta, points out to Mattie “You was treated special.” They fight about the beaded mojo bag and the pretty dresses that are ruined from “the dirty ole’ river.” Mattie ends up whining about this when Henrietta grabs the fancy beaded bag/purse and hurls it away. When she realizes Mattie is devastated, she ends up giving Mattie her own worn out bag, a “real mojo bag,” with spices and rabbit’s foot inside. A breakthrough. Old Mattie will be new Mattie.
I also wrote another scene where Mama Polly, Mrs. Hickok, has a power struggle with two men when they question her while she’s hanging laundry. She ends up stating, “Seems to me there’s a law against that, isn’t there?” I will revisit those scenes to improve after this lesson on power struggles. -
Sorry, believe I made a mistake on period time. It was much earlier on the calendar. Thanks.
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How mismatched? Starting with small talk, we immediately know the differences between these two characters. Tony asked about elephant tusks and shark tooth. And each time he answers, Dr. Don Shirley sounds more intellectual and worldly. Tony is a bouncer and has driven many different vehicles. It’s evident he’s streetsmart. Dr. Shirley even has to clarify he has a doctorate in music, not a medical certificate in an office. Brilliant pairing, yet based on a true story. Though Dr. is educated and rich, he is black. So…needs someone to help him navigate the deep South which is so racist in the 60’s. So funny that Tony Lip, with mob experience, describes his job as “public relations.” Trying to impress, get the job. Already, there’s a bond forming. And if he’s hired, he won’t do dirty work like shine shoes. It seems like a reversal which makes this scene so interesting. It’s street-smart v.s. learned smart. When Tony’s asked, “does he have a problem working with a negro,” he replies that he and his wife just had “colored friends” over the night before. Dr. Shirley, African World-Class musician and Tony Lip, bouncer from the Bronx in the 1960’s sets us up for the future they will face in the deep south with segregation at its worst. Dr. seems way more intelligent than Tony but guessing Tony could teach and educate Shirley on a few things, especially survival. They must get past any discrimination of each other to work together. They relate because they both have a job to do, on-stage free of problems for one and protection/safety responsibility for the other. The Green Book is like a 3rd character, a guding voice for both of them. Traits: Both tell it like-it-is with different style. Shirley is cultured, confident, dignified, honest, smart, dresses well, collects artifacts, and is goal-oriented. Tony is tough, sentimental inside (he needs guidance with women and love), and strong. Different in looks: casual v.s. dressed-up. Future: Tony expresses, “You and the south, there’s gonna be problems.” He declines the job unless his terms. They come to an agreement by Dr. telling him by all accounts he came greatly recommended and that he’s the right man for the job. We know by this exchange how they will work with each other in the future. A breakthrough: they start to understand each other.
The scene is built around the home where Dr. Shirley resides. It holds power for him for now. But the deep south will take him out of this comfortable element and concert halls up north. Not sure of the wounds but guessing Dr. Shirley has faced some discrimination and is protecting himself from further provocations. He’d rather concentrate on performing. A shield. Tony may have experienced rejection so he must bargain, save face, holds his own, Wounded in love? By the mob? He must prove himself. More breakthroughs? Dr. Shirley may be learned but he’s getting a quick education about the outside world, its prejudices. And that who a person is on the outside may not tell the whole story. Tony’s breakthrough is more subtle. Think he learns more about himself here, his emotions, how he thinks about life. And that people are individuals. -
Didn’t appreciate this scene when I first watched the movie. So glad I had the chance to see it again. The tension comes because both of these characters are equal in prowess, gunslinging etc. Further tension because they are opposed when it comes to the law. Johnny Ringo is a thug who’s dangerous. Doc Holiday is on the side of the law but can be a jerk. However, we’re on edge because not only is Doc Holiday sick, he has a drunk problem at the moment. Doc discovers in their first meeting that Ringo will harrass and not back down. He taunts, eggs on, and also lets Doc know he speaks another language. Wyatt Earp is signing autographs and playing cards but he has a gun ready at all times under the table. Tension mounts when Earp grabs the gun, aims, and click-clicks to be ready, keeping it hidden. These two characters stand out from the others by their eyes, clothes, and mannerisms. Ringo definitely shows wild eyes , glaring like they’re the only two in the room. Doc Holiday, likewise, stares back, even squints. Wyatt Earp is no threat because he declares himself, “Retired.” And also implies that the town is peaceful, yet he has a gun under the table. That “retired” line allows Doc Holiday to declare, “Not retired. I’m in my prime.” Perfect line here which challenges Johnny Ringo even more. Funny, next Ringo talks in another language to which Doc replies, “Think Ringo got educated.” What happens next is priceless. Ringo showing his prowess with a gun by flipping it, playing with it, spinning it for a long time. Doc finishes his drink, slowly eases into using the cup as a gun and does the exact same routine Ringo did, purposely showing his strengths (even when drunk). Besides, it entertained the people in the bar and brought the tension down. Johnny Ringo had a laugh here but you know he’ll be back. Their matched up.
The drama focuses on these two men most of the time in a bar setting, with card games and drinking going on. Where you’d expect a fight to happen. Can’t tell the wounds here, but the future is a surety. Traits: cockiness, confrontational, smug, determined. Attracted to danger, gun use. -
What I learned….
Here is a scene from my novel, “Without Whimsey.” I’m starting mid-scene with 3 characters. Mattie is hiding, listening to an exchange between Wild Bill Hickok and his Mother as she disciplines him for his usual mischief. It’s a family “belonging” as Bill and Mama Polly (his Mother) actually lovingly playact with each other. Mattie’s wound: Being abandoned by the only family she knew as well as separated from her brother, realizes she wants to be part of a family like the Hickoks and sees how much Wild Bill reminds her of Whimsey. Wild Bill is 12 years old in this book.
“James Hickok!”
“Yes, Mama?”
The woman stepped farther out on the porch. When she held up her hand to shade out the sun, Mattie saw her clearly. She wore a simple dress, purple and white cotton, that skimmed her ankles. And her face looked a little brown, probably worn by time spent in the sun.
“James. Some of my canning jars are missing again. Did YOU see them?”
“Jars?” Jimmy stuck his hands in his pockets, shifted side to side. Oh Lordy, Mattie thought, was he signaling her to lie to his very own Mama, too?
“Haven’t seen the jars , uh, lately, ma’am.” Jimmy side-stepped toward Mattie. Just a couple feet separated them. He held a glass jar behind his back. What? Why? He turned, thrust it at Mattie. “Quick,” he whispered. “get rid of it.”
Mattie caught it. Though she didn’t know why she would help an outlaw like this, she set it down next to the milk pail.
“James?”
“Yes, Mama?”
“You’re not breaking my jars again?” Her hands rested on her hips.
“Accidentally not!” He blushed, brushed his foot back and forth across the dirt. Mattie wondered at the word, “accidentally.” By the grins on both their faces, she guessed this was a special joke between them.
“Have you done the milking yet?” The woman’s voice rose higher, like she was amused. Like this was a game they regularly played.
“Yes ma’am. A pail’s by the door here.” Jimmy moved in front of the pail to cover up the jar. Mattie squirmed. No. She wouldn’t be part of his stealing jars. Or having Aunt Polly mad at her, too. She wished he’d hush.
“And the eggs. How about the eggs?”
“Not yet, ma’am.”
“Well, shoo, shoo. Gather some eggs. We need about two dozen for breakfast.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Then put the rest of the eggs in the limewater pail so they’ll keep.” She paused, wrung her hands. “I do hope your father’s more careful this time.”
“Don’t worry. Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to my Dad. I won’t let it.”
“Last time, he overturned the wagon on those mud roads. So much rain and he was goin’ so fast. Sometimes that man takes great pleasure when things get exciting around here. And you take after my Bill, I fear. So much so that you’re a real wild boy yourself. That’s what you are. A real wild Bill.”
“Yes, ma’am.” A smile filled half his face and his chest puffed out as he stretched.
Mattie rolled her eyes. Then… she wished for Whimsey. Whimsey, where are you?. Please find me somehow.
**What I learned is to pay more attention to past wounds. It helps to direct dialogue. And actions. Later in this chapter, I may have Mattie, who’s feeling mad and lost, take James Hickok’s slingshot and keep shooting it in frustration. -
Love Buddy movies. Butch Cassidy and Sundance etc. This time the buddy is the horse, seabiscuit. And the trainer is the catalyst. As our trainer tries to find a jockey, I’m struck by the set-up words as a horse we can’t see beats at his gate, whinnies, and acts nutsy. “Can he be ridden?” The trainer answers, “Eventually.” When he’s about to give up finding the right jockey, He observes “Red” (music here is appropriate, magical) acting like the horse in human form, one behind him and one in front. The juxta position is impeccacale timing. “That spirit.” Key words said out loud. This scene works, Belonging works, as the feisty shows up at the same time in this triangle. The trainer looks back and then forward as he hears crazy seabiscuit and sees “Red” fighting with some boys taunting him. Using a bucket for his defense. Traits that are obvious: aggressive, anger, tempers, independence, resentment, aching for freedom (won’t be held back), feisty, won’t give up, “Don’t mess with me,” they seem to say at the same time. They belong together on the track. As far as Seabiscuit, he’s been mistreated and reacts. “Red” has been abandoned by family and lashes out. Both strike back folding into their self-made protection. The drama its built around is an imminent race is approaching and they must find a jockey soon or lose their investment. And the breakthrough that only trainer sees the same “spirit” in each character. As an observer, you know what will happen next.
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Sleepless in Seattle is one of my favorite Rom Coms. Written and directed by the inspiring Nora Ephron. Wish she were still with us. She had her own unique style and sensibility to character as well as unique sense of humor she brought not only to her writing but to public interviews she did. She displayed a certain intelligence she also brought to her writing. Can’t imagine any other actors other than Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan playing the parts. They had a certain chemistry which made the characters funny, charming, and believable. So, there’s a lot at play to this “Belonging Together” thing. I almost think if I can imagine a certain actor playing the parts in my writing I could actually improve my scenes/novel. So…this is an interesting Triangle and don’t think it would’ve worked as well without Sam’s son, Jonah. Jonah makes the phone call to Dr. Marsha’s psychology show because he’s concerned about his Father after his spouse and Jonah’s mother passed away a year and a half earlier. I believe they moved from Chicago to Seattle to get away. What’s magical and evident in Ephron’s scripts is how fate doesn’t seem forced. Kismet, yes, as Annie tunes in while switching channels on the very night Jonah calls in. That special magic falls into place throughout the movie as Annie believes in “meant to be. It’s a sign.” Jonah is so necessary, a catalyst to this scene. Traits: concern, sentimental, belief in true love, commitment, devotion, even melancholy, caring. Private and polite. Christmas is the perfect time for memories here. “You can tell a lot from a person’s voice,” the Dr. says. Sam’s voice turns gentle, soft, and sad when talking about his wife. What’s interesting is the breakthrough Annie realizes as she quietly answers the questions posed to Sam. She finishes his sentences with answers the same as his or fills in when he doesn’t answer at all. She looks startled by that. “My wife, she made everything beautiful,” he says. In Annie’s face, you can see how much she wishes someone would feel the same about her. Sam, reluctant at first, realizes maybe he should finish grieving, take a chance again. A breakthrough for him.
In my own work, at the end of Chapter One, my main character is being pushed out of Missus’s life. Missus wishes the best for Mattie and even makes arrangements for her safety on her long journey to Illinois from Louisiana. Missus’s sister is the third character, the catalyst to make it happen. She screams at Mattie, entices her sister to be meaner. Dilly, the sister, even frightens Mattie about a faraway wolf waiting for her. When the doors slam closed, locking Mattie out of the world she knew, she bangs and bangs, pleading, begging to stay. Then, a figure walks out of the dark as the rising sun glows in the sky, to usher Mattie on her way. I left out the dialogue here. But still show how the triangle, I believe, is working. I rewrote that scene so many times and believe that I do have “belonging together” between Mattie and Missus. (She’s also carrying memories of her brother with her in her mojo bag. “Belonging together” lost to her when he was taken away from her). She will experience a stronger belonging when she meets Wild Bill Hickok in another chapter. -
This scene is powerful…so revealing of character vulnerabilites. Of course….because both their pasts have been cracked open to experience pain all over again. Skylar’s wound is losing a loving Father and his support – loss. Will is more complicated. Not only did he suffer abandonment but cruelty. He knows “aloneness” too well. What provokes revealing their wounds?They’re in bed with each other, being intimate. Will is shirtless and wearing a cross (protection?). Both are vulnerable, starting to trust each other. What sets Will off is Skylar inviting him to go to California with her. He finds excuses. She says she just knows it’s right. She “feels it.” He’s scared of feelings. All hell breaks loose when she asks,”What are you afraid of?” Both relive their pasts and the wounds as if new. Will falls into survival mode, gets angry, and reveals he was beat up as a kid, cigarettes put out on his skin. Skylar’s story is more loving yet she feels the loss of her Father’s death. What’s bizarre is when he says he has a job he can’t leave. A janitor’s job when he’s a math whiz. He can certainly find a new job. But being a janitor is a lonely job that protects his feelings, gives him security. Each character threatens the other’s wounds by angry words, and ultimately expressing Love. Skylar challenges him to say he doesn’t love her. Will hesitates, says, “I don’t love you” and walks out. Wounding her once again with loss. For Will, his new wound is a perceived one. She can’t possibly love him. She’ll only hurt him in the future. She’ll only “take it back.” Rejection he can’t bear to feel again. Powerful. The breakthrough, the character reveal: Skylar admitting love for him by demanding he say it to her. And then she hears, “I don’t love you.” She cries and we know she’ll return to California without him. For Will, knowing someone may really love him, just may encourage him to get the help he needs. With psychiatric help, he may just follow her. I will post a scene from my book after a rewrite. I need to consider a breakthrough. And let my character experience her wound of abandonment anew.
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The important thing in the first scene are the words Marshall uses concerning “Kate” as he lay dying. He keeps saying she’s “dangerous.” which implies he knows something sinister about her. And now we do, too. She’s done something very wrong. Jack, I noticed, doesn’t pay much attention to him because he’s intent on saving a life, staying in character. (after seeing this scene, I wish I had watched “Lost.” I did religiously watch “Once Upon a Time” which I believe were the same writers.) It’s not until Marshall insists on Jack pulling paper from his pocket that Jack pays attention. It’s Kate in the photo. It’s clearly a wanted poster. Then come the words, “she’s dangerous.” “Must find her.” Then “Must stop her.” Basically, the 3 commands. The next scene between Kate and Sawyer was very well-done. Well-written. Clever to reveal important points using a drinking game and series of questions and answers. Expressions on their faces give away secrets beyond their taking sips or not, the game rules they set up for themselves. A bit of comic relief broke the tension with the Disney question. No, she had never been to Disneyland. “That’s sad,” he states. Whether, we as observers have been to Disney or not, we feel like we missed something or have regret or a memory. Brilliant that that question came up. Then the personal questions started…about marriage etc. We learn so much about the characters in this scene. Then…the key. About murder. “We have alot in common” final response Wow! That was the perfect ending to that scene and encourages us to keep watching for who? What? Why?
In my coming-of-age historical novel, my characters aren’t harboring any deep secrets that contribute to the plot. So I don’t use the “keeping a secret” device. That seems to work well for mysteries, thrillers, drama. But my main character feels loss, has memories, and then takes action. My 2nd protagonist, Wild Bill Hickok, as a young boy, does don a disguise, and secretly uses it to help transport slaves across parts of Illinois.
Also, this scene reminded me of a play I wrote years ago that was performed at Lewis University in Illinois. It was about a soldier who captures a Nazi youth in a winery in France at the end of World War II. The soldier holds the youth prisoner, then draws some lines on the floor. It’s a game the soldier sets up for them to play. The game ends with the soldier trying to get a confession. He asks the youth, “With all you’ve done, have you ever killed anyone?” The youth never admits to it. But the soldier sadly says that he had. He confesses his own guilt. I should drag out that play and rewrite parts of it. -
What is the drama? Surroundings, first of all, are dark. As audience, we’re squinting. This setting is exactly where Junuh is in life. Depressed, an-almost famous golfer, who experienced World War !, and came home, disallusioned. He’s now hitting ball after ball over and over, making me wonder if he wants to return to golf and at same time, letting out frustrations and resentment about how his life went. He must dream of that or he wouldn’t be there. And he’s also feels a little obligation to help save the Golf Course, but not as one of the competitors at this time. Unsure, so doing it in the dark. Then along comes Baggar Vance to disrupt everything. More drama. Who is this guy walking around in the dark? A sense of something magical yet practical and possibly spiritual. Baggar begins to chide, egg on, as if presenting a challenge. Perhaps trying to spark competive spirit in Junuh. A little comic the way he says things. “Figured the way you was hittin’ them balls, I was out of harm’s way,” he says after Junuh states he could’ve killed him with a golf ball. Many other sayings follow, “Man’s grip on his club is a man’s grip on the world.” More drama as Baggar keeps asking silly little questions and decided to hang around and take up offer of eating. Seems Junuh is dismayed at his constant presence. Baggar offers that all he needs is to find his “swing” again and then Junuh hits one and Baggar says he hadn’t seen anyone hit a ball like that since championship in 1916. A breakthrough: This is when Junuh takes notice, eyes Baggar with suspicion. And the magic begins. The comeback, finding life meaningful again begins. I do appreciate this scene. However, I saw this movie many years ago and remember not being as enthusiastic about it as a whole. Maybe Vance had too many inspirational quotes to say throughout. I wanted to see Junuh’s character take those to his limit. Maybe I’m not as much of a golf fan. Maybe I need to see it again. The movie’s great but, at the time, I didn’t think it ranked as top notch. “Heaven Can Wait” got many of the same messages across and it was ,more interesting.
However, this scene encouraged me to take my novel to a higher level. Matttie carries a mojo bag she believes is magical to help her through her turmoil. I will make those scenes more interesting so she really feels the magic. -
Karl and Judith, thank you for your insights. Karl, you’re not sure this is transformational. Maybe there’s another scene that establishes that. Judith, you really felt the emotions both experienced in the scene.
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I had to watch this several times because I believe this is the first time I really thought hard about my characters’ futures in my work. However, I realize I must have because I knew what my character would ultimately do and she does it in the final chapter. She becomes part of the solution. Wild Bill Hickok and his family helped her move forward, helped save her. But in the end she takes the reins and imagines her future. Even though it would be without her beloved brother – Whimsey.
But back to the scene from The Terminator. Sarah realizes after the shootings and chaos as well as Kyle saving her, protecting her, that something is profoundly changing in her life and that she is somehow involved. Foreshadowing as a device is constant. Kyle ireveals bits and pieces of the danger and says the Terminators are the worst. She must fulfill a mission. And tells her she will have a son who will be that hero. And that her son sends a message from the future.
Traits: Skeptical, curious, scared. Becomes tense, angry at one point, which proves she has the strength and determination. Kyle’s dedicated, protective, and accepting. And he’s caring. He somehow knows he, too, has a connection to her and her son. She’s cold, freezing, she says. It sets the mood in this scene. And leads to their huddling close and having sex.
Amazing how the scene is very dark, foreboding. The car runs out of gas, dies, and they must push it out of the way so they’re not detected. It’s like the sky and the car are characters. Sarah’s transformation goes from acceptance of a quiet uneventful life to one where she must be almost a warrior. She’s reluctant, “can’t even balance her checkbook.” “It’s my first” dressing his wound. Half-way through this scene, after asking questions, she gives in, accepting her fate. But only because it means saving her future son.
What I caught watching it again were the words. (helps them bond as does the gun shot wound and Sarah trying to stop the bleeding) Kyle says he time traveled to meet “the legend, Sarah Conner.” Implies how impressed he is because she taught her son “to fight, gave him strength.” “She was hiding before the war.” Breakthroughs are hints about the future. She prods. “Tell me about my son.” Kyle answers, ” He’s about my height. He has your eyes.” Sounds like their son. Then he gives her instructions. Her future is set up for her. She almost can’t refuse by the end of the scene. Punch line: Her son’s message to her. “Thank you, Sarah, for your courage during the dark….The future is not set. Be strong…you must survive or I may never exist.” Indicates a life or death struggle has just begun. -
Traits:
Will is a genius. We learn that from a previous scene where he solves a math problem that stumps everyone but him. Love his takedown of an elitist smug Harvard guy, Will’s coy, listens, is observant. In a bar, he watches as Chuckie. his close friend, flirts with some girls. He’s getting a kick out of it. Digging deeper…he’actually being very protective of his friend..
Chuckie wants to fit in. Think he’s faking an accent. Is he? When he flirts with the two girls? He wants to impress especially because they’re Harvard girls. He’s funny, jokes around, twists his light lying into more jokes, tries to be cool. “Cool” is mentioned. He understands, expects Will to watch over him.
Skyler – amused, smiles, aggitated when hero Harvard guy rides in as if trying to save her from the peasants.
Breakthroughs: I see this especially in Will. He’s protective, has a deep bonding friendship with Chuckie. Facial expressions show his feelings as he smirks at Harvard guy. Mr. Harvard, I noticed, after 3 viewings, is wearing a button-down collar shirt and a V-neck sweater. Typical smug rich student. He half-smiles at the girls, then begins a spiel trying to prove how smart he is. Showing he fits in more than Chuckie does. Even asks why these guys chose this bar, one where they don’t belong. Will flashes a smile at the gals, buts in at the right time. Doesn’t pause when he talks. And even mentions a page # catching the Harvard guy in a plagarism when he spewed a memorized page from a book. That was a wow! It’s verbal combat and tells us so much about Will. He’s having fun arguing. One wonders why he seems to lack ambition. Why doesn’t he want to be more than a janitor? Will is obviously middle class. His clothes are casual. Shows disdain for an elitist by words he uses. Questions why anyone’s Mommy and Daddy would pay big bucks for an education when one can learn from a library book. Implying…if you are smart, which you’re not. So thrilled with the punch line: My boy’s wicked smart. I want to strive for those punch lines.
The wicked smart part made me rethink a rewrite of Chapter 3 in my novel “Without Whimsey.” Frustrated, because my character, Mattie, must move quickly from point A to B and C. It slows, making it possibly a bit boring. Although, we feel her panic because she might be caught. Exhausted, Mattie’s lying on the grass. She wakes up, a dream swirling in her head. She hears her brother’s voice so far-off. Whimsey, is that you? But when her eyes flip open…well… Reality hits. Prior, she had just slipped off a keel boat and almost drowned. She’s wet and shivering from the Illinois River. I have her wandering from field to field, through a forest, afraid of things one at a time, with action starting and stopping. She’s afraid of every odd sound. Still…Is someone chasing her? Without her guide, she’s lost. After this lesson, I will dig deeper. Pay attention to her emotions. And traits. Frightened and missing her brother, she might try to turn back. I’ll edit out a field to cross, let her feel more emotion. After all, she’s 13 and completely alone for the first time. Things are unfamiliar. So…she’s frightened by odd sounds. And remembers she must find a Compass Plant to help point the way. She clings tighter to her “mojo bag” which seems so magic, gives her strength to go on. I’ll work on her finding her “brave,” in this chapter. And show how she becomes more decisive, determined. She needs a continuing even more threatening obstacle in her way which makes her choose to go on. I’ll work on it. -
Hi to everyone,
I’m Sherry. My portfolio? I’ve written many plays. Some have won awards, both local and national. Some were staged which was great for studying audience reaction, making changes. Once I found I had to rewrite an actor’s part because she kept forgetting the lines. Baffled, I finally realized those lines just didn’t make sense. so the actor had trouble memorizing. Great lesson for me. More plays than I care to mention went nowhere and are gathering dust on a shelf. I also had the pleasure of writing articles and profiles for magazines and newspapers for 40+ years (semi-retired from that). Hoping this class will help me put my upper middle grade historical novel over the top and finally get published. It almost happened. An agent had it in her hands, worked with me on editing, etc. then…she and her staff had a meeting and she changed her mind. She said it wasn’t me: it was the industry…that historical novels are hard to sell. Hmmm. Dismayed, I let it rest too long. Now I’m back and believe I can make it saleable. Okay…something unique about me? Hats! Yep! You won’t usually see me without a hat. Love ’em. Or maybe…it’s always a bad hair day! -
Sending the proper response:
I, Sherry Miller, agree to the terms of the release form. -
Hi, I agree to the release form. Sherry Miller