Sky Canyon
Forum Replies Created
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Sky Canyon’s Marketing Campaign
What I learned doing this assignment is that breaking it down into bite-sized pieces is what makes the process manageable and straight-forward.
1. Read through the 10 Marketing Campaigns and select ONE that you’ll take action on immediately.
Marketing Campaign #6: Marketing to Producers.
2. Taking that campaign, make a plan of action, listing the actions you’ll take.
Plan of action:
a) Finalize my query letter
b) Begin with the list of producers from Lesson 10, refine this list to the ones that make most sense relative to my script (dramatic comedy)
c) Get contact info for these producers (email)
d) Strong Subject Line for the email
e) Send emails
3. Tell us the first action you are going to take…and take it.
Two actions: Finalize my query letter and refine the producer list that I’m going to send to. On that now.
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Sky Canyon’s Target Market
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s six degrees of Kevin Bacon. This is easier to develop a list than I had thought it would be, once I dug into it. Harder was finding “movies similar to.” So I imagine that some of the producers are not likely, but I cannot pre-judge at this point.
Title: The Millionaire Monk
Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Logline: When a deliberate bad tip crashes the career and marriage of a Wall Street Guru-wannabe, life conspires to land him in a Tibetan monastery where he struggles to find inner peace and teaches the monks to trade the market.
Movies similar:
Bruce Almighty
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The Truman Show
The Darjeeling Limited
The Holiday
Actors:
Jack Black
Joel McHale
Leslie Ching
Jim Carrey
Priyanka Chopra
Ryan Reynolds
Adrien Brody
Paul Rudd
Owen Wilson
Ben Stiller
Kevin Hart
Producers:
Bruce Block
Jennifer Eatz
Suzanne Farwell
Nancy Meyers
Michael Bostick
James Brubaker
Jim Carrey
Steve Koren
Linda Fields Hill
Mark o’Keefe
Steve Oedekerk
Tom Shadyac
Jonathan Watson
Janet Wattles
Wes Anderson
Alice Bamford
Molly Cooper
Roman Coppola
Jeremy Dawson
Lydia Dean Pilcher
Sam Hoffman
Anadil Hossain
Scott Rudin
Steven Rales
Edward S. Feldman
Andrew Niccol
Lynn Pleshette
Richard Luke Rothschild
Scott Rudin
Adam Schroeder
Stuart Cornfeld
G. Mac Brown
Samuel Goldwyn Jr
John Goldwyn
Meyer Gottlieb
Matt Levin
Jeff Mann
Ethan Shapanka
Ben Stiller
Gore verbinski
Kurt Williams
Peter Czernin
Sarah Harvey
Caroline Hewitt
Jonathan King
Jeff Skoll
Ricky Strauss
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Sky Canyon’s Query Letter Draft TWO
Received good feedback – helped me refine the Query Letter:
Dear [producer]
I have an original 110-page feature dramedy, titled, THE MILLIONAIRE MONK.
Here’s the quick pitch:
“I’ll teach the monks to trade the market!”
When Wall Street guru-wannabe Jack Weissman receives a deliberate bad tip that crashes his career and marriage, his desperate attempts to get his life back mysteriously land him in a Tibetan monastery.
The head monk – whom Jack dubs “Mr. Miyagi” – challenges his ego and pushes a reluctant Jack to learn meditation, yoga and “ommm” – to the amusement of monks, yaks and the monastery cat. However, when Jack discovers that the monks are in dire financial straits, he has a light bulb moment, and under his tutelage, the monastery prospers…
…until the Chinese military arrive, smash computers, and arrest Miyagi.
Defeated, but then with new-found determination, Jack leads the “Millionaire Monks” to acquire massive financial resources for Tibet, just as China grapples with an environmental disaster.
Meanwhile, the monastery’s techno-nerdy monk perfects a device to help China, and Jack hatches a plan to free Miyagi. Unaware that Miyagi’s secret past has already sealed his fate, the plan backfires, landing Jack in jail facing a life-or-death ultimatum.
Has Miyagi’s training prepared Jack to emerge as the man he was meant to be?
Jack must make the trade of his life – the fate of nations hangs in the balance.
I hope you find this enticing, and if so, I would love to send you the script.
Sincerely,
Sky Canyon
BIO – Sky Canyon:
· ScreenwritingU.com Pro Series Alumni;
· Hot 100 List, Capital Fund Screenplay Competition; Moondance International Film Festival FINALIST
· Original President/Publisher, New World Library, international self-help bestsellers; also a published author and music producer.
CONTACT:
Sky Canyon
[contact info]
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Sky Canyon.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Sky Canyon.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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Sky Canyon’s Query Letter Draft ONE
What I learned doing this assignment is that there’s the story and there’s the punch. The query has to lift off the page and evoke a “I want to see this movie” response. I’m going to read the other posts from the class and see what I can learn, then do draft #2.
Dear [producer]
I have an original 110-page feature dramedy, titled, THE MILLIONAIRE MONK.
Here’s the quick pitch:“I’ll teach the monks to trade the market!”
When Wall Street guru-wannabe Jack Weissman receives a deliberate bad tip that crashes his career and marriage, his desperate attempts to get his life back take him on a strange journey that lands him in a Tibetan monastery.
The head monk – whom Jack dubs “Mr. Miyagi” – challenges his ego and pushes a reluctant Jack to learn meditation, yoga and “ommm” – to the amusement of monks, yaks and the monastery cat. However, when Jack discovers that the monks are in dire financial straits, he has a light bulb moment, and under his tutelage, the monastery prospers…
…until the Chinese military arrive, smash computers and arrest Miyagi.
With “loser” ringing in his ears, renewed determination drives Jack to lead the “Millionaire Monks” in massive success for Tibet, just as China is wracked with an environmental disaster.
But, the monastery’s techno-nerdy monk perfects a device to help China, and Jack hatches a plan to free Miyagi. Unaware that Miyagi’s secret past has already sealed his fate – the plan backfires, landing Jack in jail facing a life or death ultimatum.
Has Miyagi’s training prepared Jack to emerge as the man he was meant to be?
Jack must make the trade of his life – the fate of nations hangs in the balance.
If you like the concept, I would be happy to send you the script.
BIO – Sky Canyon:
· ScreenwritingU.com Pro Series Alumni;
· Hot 100 List, Capital Fund Screenplay Competition; Moondance International Film Festival FINALIST
· Original President/Publisher, New World Library, international self-help bestsellers; also a published author and music producer.
CONTACT:
Sky Canyon
[contact info]
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Sky Canyon.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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Sky Canyon Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is to understand the components of a pitch, which ones to use – which will change depending on what elements I have to work with (credibility, expertise, title, concept, etc) – what producers are looking for and might ask, and how to prepare for these. This is what I’ve been looking for and can know develop my skills around pitches.
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
Blend of two:
Lead with credibility.
Lead with a great title.
Lead with a strong business hook.
Lead with a High Concept – LOGLINE
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
Hi, I’m Sky Canyon; I was formerly president and publisher at New World Library, famous for international bestsellers in self-help and spirituality, which my current script deals with, and I’m wondering if I can share a quick logline with you to see if my script grabs your interest?
Great, it’s a Dramatic Comedy Feature, titled THE MILLIONAIRE MONK.
Here’s the logline:
When a deliberate bad tip crashes the career and marriage of a Wall Street Guru-wannabe, life conspires to land him in a Tibetan monastery where he struggles to find inner peace and teaches the monks to trade the market.
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range?
Mid-budget – $15-30 million; much of the Tibet scenes can be shot on a soundstage, with establishing shots to give us the feel of Tibet and the Himalayas. Same with New York. The outdoors could be shot in B.C.
Who do you see in the main roles?
– Originally written for Jim Carrey as Jack, the lead with special attention to both the dramatic role AND the comedic dialogue and physical comedy. However, Jim might be too old for this now; Ryan Reynolds or Adam Sandler could fit well.
– Prianka Chopra as the female role, Jena – she would be a strong push-back on Jack – great balance.
– Richard Gere as Jack’s investment firm boss in New York. Especially with his love of Tibet, and written with him in mind.
How many pages is the script? 110
Who else has seen this?
Have not shopped it around, talking to you first.
Why do you think this fits our company?
Because you’ve done dramatic comedies in this mid-budget range; this is in your wheel-house.
How does the movie end?
It is a dramatic moment with a feel-good ending. The Chinese are in a disaster with their air pollution, they want the frequencies developed by the monks to neutralize the pollution. Jack, the lead, makes a deal with Zhang, the Central Chinese Committee Member, to release the head monk if the monks can beam the frequencies to Chinese satellites and get the results. At the last minute, just when the head monk is about to be executed, the air in Beijing and other cities clears. Jack is a hero, and goes back to New York to start a green tech investments firm. Jena, the Indian woman who led the TREK that Jack reluctantly went on that landed him in the monastery, shows up in New York by surprise. The chemistry with her and Jack ignites – the guy gets the (right) girl – as we pan out on a beautiful earth with clear skies.
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Lesson 8 SU – for posting
Sky Canyon’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is that CONDENSING a story with a lot of characters and elements down to the essentials for a pitch is a challenge. Especially the 3 Acts of the story – how to simplify to the key points. I did – below – yet perhaps it can be a lot shorter? I learned about structure around a pitch – this is quite helpful.
Credibility: I was president and publisher at New World library with international bestsellers in the self-help genre, and have run professional self-help trainings, which gives me expertise in the subject matter of this script. I am a published author and music producer.
Genre and Title: A Dramedy – THE MILLIONAIRE MONK
Hook: A disgraced, bumbling Wall Street guru-wannabe lands in a Tibetan monastery and tries to redeem himself by teaching the monks to trade the market; against all odds they change the world.
Budget range: Mid-budget – $15-30 million. While it will require establishing shots to give us the feel of Tibet, the Himalayas, and New York, most of this can be shot on sound stage plus a rural location, perhaps in British Columbia, Canada.
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
We originally wrote this for Jim Carrey as the lead – the humor and physical comedy as well as dramatic content are perfect for him. If he’s too old now, Ryan Reynolds would be a good fit, as would Adam Sandler; they fit the dramatic focus as well as the comedic dialogue and physical comedy.
For Jena – Prianka Chopra would be a good fit, she has the ability to “put Jack in his place” which would come off as natural and credible.
For Jack’s boss, Bill Radford, ideal is Richard Gere, he would love the uplifting of Tibet that this movie does and this role written with him in mind.
Act 1: Jack Weissman is a happy-go-lucky, arrogant and annoying Wall Street Guru wannabe at Bill Radford and Associates investment firm, already well up the ladder of success. But he’s not as smart as he pretends to be; his well-placed pal in China feeds him tips that help him make good moves. However, his pal’s boss, a Central Committee Member, has it out for Jack’s boss, and forces Jack’s pal to give Jack a deliberate bad tip.
Meanwhile, Jack’s perfect world has cracks in it – as we see through various moments of altered, out-of-body experiences that makes him question his perfect reality. He tries to brush these off.
Jack executes a massive trade based on the bad tip, it crashes, Jack is fired, goes home, his wife dumps him. Out on the streets, more unusual, other-worldly experiences. Wandering aimlessly late-night he sees a book, “Trekking the Monasteries of Tibet” in a bookstore window, another altered moment. Visiting his mother, she suggests he take time to develop himself and plops the same book down in front of him. The next the morning, he is awakened from a dream of a monk right in his face, by a phone call from Fong with a job. “You’ll be in luck, now, Jack!” But it is Lucknow, India.
Act 2: Jack lands in India, only to find the job has fallen away. His flight back to New York routes through Llhasa, Tibet (is someone trying to tell him something?). Landing in Tibet, Jack awakens to see JENA, a beautiful Indian woman; she has the TREKKING book half-out of her backpack. That’s it for Jack: He follows her off the plane, catches up to her at a hotel where she is in front of a group, about to lead a trek, based on HER BOOK. Her irresistible charm and smile pull still-reluctant Jack into going on the trek.
Jack manages to get lost in the middle of nowhere and collapses. He awakens in a room with THE MONK from his dream, who speaks to him and shares his name; mis-pronounced by Jack until he decides to call the monk MIYAGI.
Jack wants to leave, is in no physical condition; reluctantly stays and is guided in poignant and humorous ways to let go of his big ego, learn to meditate, “ommm,” and do menial chores.
Learning that the monks are in desperate financial straits, his big brainstorm: “I’ll teach the monks to trade the market!” Miyagi says no, Jack is ever more frustrated, wondering what his purpose is, but eventually, Miyagi lets him teach the monks and the monastery prospers. Jena, meanwhile, blows up at Jack for bringing Western ways to the monks.
Just as Miyagi mentions to Jack that he knows something about Jack’s father, the Chinese appear, smash computers and arrest Miyagi. Jack is down in the dumps. What now?
Act 3: Jack meets with Jena, admits he was a jerk, and then has a brainstorm. They rush back to the monastery, Jack meets with the nerdy techno monk SUMYONGUY, and they set up a secret trading room under the barn. The monks prosper at bigger levels – headline news – but Jack must find a way to get Miyagi free before the Chinese execute him.
Meanwhile, Jack discovers that Sumyonguy has invented a device that will clear pollution out of the air using special frequencies. Jack’s next brainstorm: He’ll go to Beijing, get with Zhang and trade Miyagi’s freedom for use of the device to solve China’s disastrous air pollution that is crippling the country. Smart-alec Jack demonstrates the mini-version in Zhang’s office, is promptly arrested and they take the device. Now Jack is in jail, as it turns out, in the cell next to Miyagi. Miyagi shares how he encountered Jack’s father during the Vietnam war, and made a commitment to him as he was dying, involving Jack, leaving Jack now in shock and tears.
Zhang visits Miyagi at the jail – we learn they have a past together.
Zhang leaves, the guards then whisk Miyagi away.
Zhang visits Jack and gives him 24 hours to produce the frequencies for the device or Miyagi, and then Jack, will be executed. Jack has a dark night of the soul, his transformational moment. Zhang appears again in the morning, Jack, visibly changed, a new man, paints a broad vision of cooperation for Zhang. Zhang is reluctant, but they are back in Zhang’s office as the monks work furiously to hook up a satellite dish with the frequencies. Just as Miyagi is about to be executed, the frequencies work, Zhang and Jack see the air clear out Zhang’s window.
Back at the monastery, a celebration ensues; Jack, Zhang and Miyagi all show up together. Jack and Jena have a moment, but she decides to stay and lead her treks while Jack is going back to New York to create his own green tech investment firm.
Back in New York, Jack works with Miyagi, Sumyonguy, Zhang by video, then off to mom’s yoga class. Jena shows up out of the blue. They FINALLY have their moment, the chemistry hits, as we pan out on beautiful, clear skies surrounding the earth.
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Sky Canyon’s Query Letter
“I’ll teach the monks to trade the market!”
When Wall Street guru-wannabe Jack Weissman receives a deliberate bad tip that crashes his career and marriage, his desperate attempts to get his life back take him on a strange journey that lands him in a Tibetan monastery.
The head monk – whom Jack dubs “Mr. Miyagi” – challenges his ego and pushes a reluctant Jack to learn meditation, yoga and “ommm” – to the amusement of monks, yaks and the monastery cat. However, when Jack discovers that the monks are in dire financial straits, he has a light bulb moment, and under his tutelage, teaching the monks to trade, the monastery prospers…
…until the Chinese military arrive, smash computers and arrest Miyagi.
With “loser” ringing in his ears, renewed determination drives Jack to lead the “Millionaire Monks” in massive success for Tibet, just as China is wracked with an environmental disaster.
But, the monastery’s techno-nerdy monk perfects a device to help China, and Jack hatches a plan to free Miyagi. Unaware that Miyagi’s secret past has already sealed his fate – the plan backfires, landing Jack in jail facing a life or death ultimatum.
Has Miyagi’s training prepared Jack to emerge as the man he was meant to be?
Jack must make the trade of his life – the fate of nations hangs in the balance.
BIO – Sky Canyon:
· ScreenwritingU.com Pro Series Alumni;
· Hot 100 List, Capital Fund Screenplay Competition; Moondance International Film Festival FINALIST
· Former President/Publisher, New World Library, international self-help bestsellers;
· Published author and music producer.
If you like the concept, I would be happy to send you the script.
CONTACT:
Sky Canyon
Phone: 303-499-8998
Cell: 303-809-5395
2525 Arapahoe Ave., E4-422, Boulder, CO 80302
What I learned doing this assignment is this: My query letter was originally crafted years ago, and I have refined it since then. In review, I feel it does the right job and is a captivating pitch – much better than the synopsis in Lesson 6, which has too much story detail.
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Sky Canyon’s Synopsis Hooks
(NOTE: HOOKS are in BOLD)
We see a lone figure struggling to walk in high mountains with snow-capped peaks; He shouts, “I’m not dying here!” Then collapses. Who is he, where is he, what’s going on?
A month earlier – New York City: Jack, a Wall Street Guru-Wannabe, lost his father when he was young – his current bravado, arrogance and humor are a cover-up; his desperate attempts to “win” are trying to make up for his emptiness.
However, unbeknownst to Jack, ZHANG, a high-ranking Central Committee Member in China, has reason to crash Jack’s career as a result of being financially embarrassed by Jack’s boss years ago.
Jack has a trophy wife, but is she just there for the glitz and glamour? He feels strangely out of place at her parents’ big party in the Hamptons. Then, he has strange encounters – somewhat mystical – related to a book called “Trekking the Monasteries of Tibet.”
Jack’s longtime pal in China, FONG, who works for Zhang, gives Jack a deliberate bad tip on Zhang’s orders; Jack executes what he believes is a career-defining trade, only to see it go south, to his horror. When the suits barge into the office for a margin call, Jack’s boss, Bill, fires Jack on the spot. Jack goes home, reveals to his wife that he got fired, she boots him out.
Down and out, desperate for a job, Jack has strange dreams of a monk, only to awaken in his dingy apartment to a call from Fong with a job for Jack – finally! Jack “will be in luck now” – but it is literally Lucknow, India.
Reluctant Jack goes to India, only to find the job has evaporated – the Indian crew has no money. He books a flight back to New York only to discover it is routed through Lhasa, Tibet. Hmmmm? In the airport coffee shop, a beautiful Indian woman, JENA, strolls by, the TREKKING book peeking out of her backpack. Jack chokes on his coffee, more than curious. On the plane, he sleeps, but when it lands in Tibet, he sees Jena a few rows up getting off. He scrambles off the plane after her, hails a taxi to follow her jeep, and discovers at a hotel she is the author, and guide to a new trek in Tibet. Her smile melts him, he joins the trek.
Distracted and annoying, he alienates the group and manages to get lost on the trek, and collapses. Found by young boys playing, he lands in a Monastery, and awakens to a monk in his room – it’s the monk from his dream!
Jack can’t pronounce his name so he calls him Miyagi. Jack struggles to find peace, and when he discovers the monks are in desperate financial shape, he offers to teach them to trade the market. Miyagi turns him down. Just when Jack is at his wits end, making a stealth exit from the monastery, Miyagi confronts him and tells him he’ll start teaching tomorrow.
The monks get successful trading; on a walk, Miyagi mentions Jack’s father – a shock to Jack – what does Miyagi know? However, the Chinese appear, smash computers and arrest Miyagi before Jack can learn the truth. Jack is in the dumps again. What’s he to do?
Meanwhile, the young, nerdy monk at the Monastery has invented a device that will transmit frequencies that neutralize pollution in the air, and China has a massive air pollution problem beginning to cripple the country. Jack, desperate to save Miyagi, takes the device to Zhang in Beijing and offers to trade the use of the device and it’s proprietary frequencies for Miyagi’s freedom, only to have the device snatched from him as the guards whisk Jack off to jail. Zhang threatens to execute Jack and Miyagi if Jack doesn’t give up the frequencies to the machine.
In the jail, Jack discovers Miyagi is in the next cell. Miyagi shares that he met Jack’s father, a soldier in Vietnam, when Miyagi lived there after deserting the Chinese army. Jack’s father had tried to save Miyagi’s wife and daughter when their village was shelled, but they died, and Jack’s father died in Miyagi’s arms. Jack is in shock.
Meanwhile, Zhang confronts Miyagi in the jail, we discover they were best buddies when young in the Chinese army, and Zhang felt betrayed by Miyagi when he deserted. Miyagi tells Zhang he is the one in jail in his mind, and Miyagi is dragged away; is execution coming?
Zhang then confronts Jack: Give up the frequencies or Miyagi dies. Jack has a dark night of the soul, with a moment of illumination: He sees all the suffering in the world and realizes he must become the solution. Zhang appears the next morning, Jack presents a bold new view of how things might be if they cooperate together.
Back at the Monastery, the monks scramble to hook up a large version of the device, while In Zhang’s office, Jack is now confident. A moment of hesitation, then the air begins to clear, people in the streets below take off masks and cheer.
At the monastery, a vehicle pulls up, Jack, Zhang and Miyagi exit, a celebration inside. Jack and Jena have chemistry, Jack asks her about coming to New York; she is content with her life in Tibet.
In New York, Jack runs a green investment firm; Jena shows up out of the blue, they kiss, the air is clear and the world is a beautiful place.
What I learned doing this assignment is that it seemed a bit overwhelming to have the story make sense from just a half dozen hooks. I had written a query letter which is a better pitch. Here I’ve got more story in this draft synopsis, but not thrilled with it.
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Sky Canyon’s High concept/Elevator Pitch
Tell us your High Concept and Elevator Pitch.
1. To find your main hook, tell us what the big picture explanation of your lead character’s journey is.
Hook: A disgraced Wall Street Guru-Wannabe ends up in a Tibetan Monastery, struggles to find inner peace, and must face his innermost demons as he teaches the monks to trade the market, confronted by a life-or-death ultimatum from the Chinese.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma – When a failed Wall Street Guru-Wannabe lands in a Tibetan Monastery and tries to redeem himself by teaching the monks to trade the market, he is confronted with a life-or-death ultimatum from the Chinese.
Main Conflict – A failed Wall Street Guru-Wannabe must conquer his biggest fears and insecurities as he struggles for inner peace in a Tibetan Monastery.
What’s at stake? Can a failed Wall Street Guru-Wannabe change the world working with Tibetan Monks?
Goal/Unique Opposition – Failed Wall Street Guru-Wannabe tries to redeem himself teaching Tibetan monks to trade the market and change the world – against all odds.3. Using the 10 Components of Marketability, what is your Elevator Pitch?
A failed Wall Street Guru-Wannabe lands in a Tibetan Monastery and tries to redeem himself by teaching the monks to trade the market, only to face a life-or-death ultimatum from the Chinese.
What I learned doing this assignment is to keep it simple, yet think in different ways about getting the hook across in the best way. This exercise gave me more ways to express it – an improvement from where I was, yet worthy of continued brainstorming.
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Sky Canyon’s 10 Most Interesting Things
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Hero – Jack – he lost his father when he was young – his bravado and arrogance and humor are a cover-up, and his desperate attempts to “win” are trying to make up for his emptiness.
Unbeknowst to Jack, Villain Zhang has reason to crash Jack’s career because of a run-in with Jack’s boss years ago.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
Opening scene: A mysterious figure is in danger – who, and why?
C. Any turning points?
1<sup>st</sup> act into 2<sup>nd</sup> act – Just when Jack thinks he might be getting his life back together after it falls apart, with a new job, it turns out the job is. . . in India!
2<sup>nd</sup> act into 3<sup>rd</sup> act – Just when the monks are getting successful trading the market, the Chinese appear, smash computers and arrest Miyagi. Jack is in the dumps again.
D. Emotional dilemma?
Jena confronts Jack on his issues, Jack finally fesses up to his insecurities.
And, Jack is desperate to save Miyagi, but it turns out he must give up the codes to the Monks’ proprietary technology or the Chinese will execute Miyagi and Jack
E. Major twists?
Setup/Twist:
1) Fong has a job for Jack – finally, Jack “will be in luck now” – but it is literally Lucknow, India.”
2) Miyagi mentions Jack’s father – a shock to Jack – what does Miyagi know? The Chinese arrest Miyagi before Jack can learn the truth.
F. Reversals?
Setup / reversal: Jack makes “the trade of his career” except it goes completely south, crashing his career and marriage.
Setup / reversal: Jack confidently offers Zhang, in Beijing, that he’ll provide the technology if Zhang frees Miyagi, only to be thrown in jail and threatened with execution if he doesn’t give up the codes to the machine.
G. Character betrayals?
Fong is in an emotional turmoil when his boss, Zhang, orders him to give Jack false info about China’s stance on the dollar. Jack is totally betrayed.
Zhang confronts Miyagi in the jail, we discover they were best buddies when young in the Chinese army, and Zhang felt betrayed by Miyagi when he deserted.
H. Or any big surprises?
The structure for a surprise is “Setup / Surprise.” Tell us the normal situation, then the big change that surprises us.
Setup/Surprise – Miyagi brings up Jack’s father, a shock that Miyagi knows something about Jack’s father, interrupted by the Chinese arriving, shut down the trading, haul Miyagi off, and Jack must come up with a plan to free Miyagi, only to learn that Miyagi tried to save Jack’s father’s life in Vietnam and has his journal.
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
Jack teaching the monks to trade the market – hilarious and out of left field in normal reality.
There is a “nerdy, techno-monk” at the Monastery who invents the device that will save China from disaster.
Budding, slow growth love interest for Jack with Jena.
What I learned doing this assignment is to think about what elements of a pitch really stand out – this was a good exercise!
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Sky Canyon Producer/Manager
1. How will you present yourself and your project to the producer?
I would start by sharing that my goal is to get a movie made with my script, and that I enjoy collaboration, teamwork and doing my best. Then I would present the script: Genre, title, then logline. This logline ALWAYS elicits comments, so I would pause and wait for their questions and dive into answers, where I would likely highlight the three main characters, the character arc for the lead, the market this script addresses, and possibly thoughts on key assets (actors, maybe director). I would emphasize again that my goal is to get a movie made, that I’m open to their feedback and making changes that make sense in order to make the script most marketable.
2. How will you present yourself and your project to the manager?
I would start with my background in the book publishing and record industries, and my goals as a writer – to build a career with quality, marketable scripts and paid writing assignments, and that I enjoy collaboration and teamwork and want to work with a manager who feels that I am a good fit for them – really we are both a good fit for each other. I would ask them what they are looking for in taking on a new writer and address those issues as they pertain to me. Then I would present this specific project, like I’ve described above for a producer.
What I learned today is: Managers and Producers are both in the game of getting movies/TV series made. Managers are specifically one’s long-term (hopefully) partner and mentor in building and escalating a career; the producer is looking for a project and writer that he or she feels has a high likelihood for attracting talent and funding. Working in a collaborative, open way with each is the way to move one’s career and project forward.
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Subject Line: Sky Canyon’s Marketable Components for The Millionaire Monk
LOGLINE: When a deliberate bad tip crashes the career and marriage of a self-professed Wall Street Guru, life conspires to land him in a Tibetan monastery where he struggles to find inner peace, teaches the monks to trade the market, and faces a life or death ultimatum when he attempts to save China from environmental disaster.
Two components with most potential are in BOLD. However, there are perhaps more than two with good potential here:
A. Unique = High Concept – the logline always elicits a strong, positive reaction.
B. Great Title – drives intrigue
C. True. N/A
D. Timely — connected to some major trend or event. Tibet and China are always an issue of struggle, and China is dealing with major environmental challenges – this is a good element for timeliness.
E. It’s a first. Wall street guy teaches the monks to trade the market – ALWAYS gets a laugh and interest.
F. Ultimate. N/A
G. Wide audience appeal. Probably not a teenage market, but otherwise hits the feel-good, heartwarming, budding romance, dramatic comedy market.
H. Adapted from a popular book. N/A
I. Similarity to a box-office success. Not specifically another movie.
J. A great role for a bankable actor. Was written for Jim Carrey originally as the lead, he’s likely too old now, but would work for any of several A-List actors. I’ve had fellow writers comment, in a positive way, “this seems like a Jim Carrey movie” just from reading it. It combines a strong dramatic tone for the lead, but adds the physical and dialogue humor to move it along and engage the audience even further.
Brainstorm – elevate the two components:
Unique – High Concept – I have found that sharing the logline tends to get a positive, engaging response. I think I would start with that as a mini-pitch, and wait for a comeback from a producer.
Great role – I can show how the lead character transforms from an obnoxious self-important jerk to a man of true service to humanity, and that the comedic elements of his character help to both emphasize his transformation and give us an engaging, fun experience as the audience.
What I learned doing this assignment is: Being aware of these elements and how to think even more about what makes this, and any script, marketable. What already makes this script stand out, and which of these elements create an opportunity for enhancement.
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Sky Canyon Project and Market
Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Title: The Millionaire Monk
Concept: A disgraced, bumbling Wall Street guru-wannabe lands in a Tibetan monastery, teaches the monks to trade the market; against all odds they change the world.
What’s most attractive about your story:
It’s a great concept, and the logline (below) makes it easy to “see” the whole movie in 30 seconds. The script is well-written (refined many times from coverage), embraces diversity in the characters and the market for “feel good” dramatic comedies is strong; it follows a Hollywood formula so producers/studios can see profitability.
Here’s the logline: When a deliberate bad tip crashes the career and marriage of a self-professed Wall Street Guru, life conspires to land him in a Tibetan monastery where he struggles to find inner peace, teaches the monks to trade the market, and faces a life or death ultimatum when he attempts to save China from environmental disaster.
Target FIRST:
Producers are the FIRST target, however, it is possible that the right actor’s production company could be a good fit. It’s not managers because I don’t have enough projects to get a manager interested at this stage. There are a lot more producers than actor’s production companies, so producers are the target.
What I learned today is: This is the time to refine and perfect the presentation for this script and get in front of producers.
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Sky Canyon – I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Greetings, Sky Canyon here, and delighted to be doing this class. I’ve written two scripts; I want to learn as much as possible in this class and especially pitching.
Unique or special: I’m also a professional musician, composer, producer. I also was a book publisher of self-help bestsellers in an earlier life.
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Hi Marian,
Thanks for connecting. Reading your QL – I would use the information in the promo that ou indicate is attached (didn’t see it here) for the QL – not have the producer open another document to learn about this. Also, my suggested re-write:
Dear. . . .
[indicate that you are general manager at a film company here].
When 25-year-old beach volleyball player Hannah and her younger sister Tessa attempt to cross a mudflat at a popular North Sea destination vacation spot, a leisurely stroll becomes a deadly fight for survival.
[need to add a couple of key hooks, but the concept is good and a strong start]
This feature thriller is based on true events.
Hope this is helpful!