Steve Bennett
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Steve John Bennett
Essence: Owen has taken a drastic step and it will impact his family. (Inciting incident)
Scene already contains a twist (Owen quits), Superior position (we know Owen’s condition is serious), Character change, Uncertainty, and a mislead (they don’t create a gym).
So I increased the Hope/Fear elements of the argument with Lana.
What I learned: Having an interest technique in mind as dialogue unfolds (with traits in mind) heightens the drama and energy of the scene. It’s like light and dark – by darkening someone’s dialogue at highlights the light in what might follow.
INT. KITCHEN – EVENING
Owen stands. Everyone is wide eyed. Lana’s hands grip her head, aghast.
LANA
You quit your job? How will we survive? I’ve got college soon.
Rohinia frowns at her daughter, then turns to Owen.
ROHINIA
You didn’t want to talk about this first? We usually —
Owen looks to the floor and starts to shake his head.
OWEN
I had to do it. I can’t work somewhere that doesn’t care about people.
Lana heads to the door.
LANA
You mean like at home? We were going to Spain this summer —
ROHINIA
Lana, your father —
OWEN
Lana wait.
She stands, back to the family.
OWEN
All those things are possible. I’ve got… we’ve got savings.
Lana crosses her arms and takes a deep breath.
OWEN
I can get another job, maybe we can start a business of our own. I had this idea about a health food store or a gym —
Lana spins and shakes her arms in frustration.
LANA
You always tell me to stick to my strengths. How is this —
ROHINIA
Lana we’re just talking —
Frustrated, Lana stalks the room.
LANA
You don’t care what I want!
She’s out. They wait for the door slam.
SLAM!
Emily looks at her mum and papa, sensing the strain.
She smiles a feeble smile.
EMILY
We don’t have a local gym. It could be fun.
Rohinia reaches out and strokes her hair and gives her husband a long look.
ROHINIA
Lets look into a gym.
Her other hand reaches for Owen. He takes it and gently pulls her towards him. They embrace. Emily’s eyes light up and she joins the hug, wrapping her arms around them both.
EMILY
It’ll be fun.
Owen looks down at her, then at Rohinia. His eyes light up.
OWEN
Yes. It will.
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Steve John Bennett Profiles People
Person 1
Supportive
Kind
Reactive
Trapped
Person 2
Controlling
Critical
Argumentative
Driven
I work with this father/daughter combination and watching them bounce off each other and scrap confirms their traits.
(Had to wait for the weekend to meet them, and fell behind…)
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Steve John Bennett Puts Essence to Work
What I learned is… Investigating, I find deeper layers and an under/over arching theme. It isn’t easy, and I recognize the ‘not wanting to touch something that works well’ in me.
Script I choose: pH (pERFECT Health)
Scene 1 Location: BEDROOM
Logline: Troubled Owen wakes, dresses and steels away from his wife.
Essence I’ve discovered: There’s trouble where there shouldn’t be.
New Logline: Owen should be holding his wife, but he’s holding his aching head instead.
Scene 2 Location: KITCHEN
Logline: Owen’s morning is dominated by coffee and avoidance of his family.
Essence I’ve discovered: Things are normal? but that’s not good.
New Logline: Preoccupied with his iphone life, Owen is disconnected from the three women in his life, and they aren’t happy about it.
Scene 3 Location: MEETING ROOM
Logline: Owen has an asshole boss, and driven, he’s under the thumb.
Essence I’ve discovered:
New Logline: His boss is ready to throw him to the wolves.
Scene 4 Location: OWEN’S CUBICLE
Logline: Searching for his pointer, Owen collapses.
Essence I’ve discovered: Midst the chaos and the pressure, a blackout. He is alone.
New Logline: Try as he might, it is too much for him. His body gives out.
Scene 5 Location: MEETING ROOM
Logline: Without Owen, the boss throws someone else to the wolves.
Essence I’ve discovered: Indicative of the pressure he’s under.
New Logline: Having killed Owen, who’s next?
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Steve John Bennett Finds the Essence
I learned that the scenes that have the most impact on me are scenes with a deep essence.
Script I choose: DANCES WITH WOLVES
Opening Scene
Logline:The last of the wounded are being tended to, exhaustion and desperation drive the soldier to a desperate act.
Essence: Within the horror of war, the tenacity of Dunbar.
Scene 9 BATTLEFIELD
Logline: Resolved with his death, Dunbar rides into the enemy lines and releases his life to God.
Essence: Dunbar’s acquiescence to his fate.
Scene 22 FAMBOUGH’s OFFICE
Logline: Dunbar arrives at the verge to the Plains and is confronted by the Major’s broken psyche.
Essence: Guided onwards, he encounters the mad Major, a symbol of the death of the past.
Scene 47 CORRAL
Logline: Performing his duty, Dunbar begins the cleanup and encounters the antelopes.
Essence: The previous inhabitants had no regard for health and nature.
Scene 65 RIVER
Logline: Adapting to his circumstances, Dunbar warns off an encroaching Indian.
Essence: Now a part of nature (naked) Dunbar encounters Kicking Bird
My selection for most profound essence:
65 EXT. RIVER - DAY Comfortable with his nakedness, Dunbar is meandering along the stream in no particular hurry. He's very white. His skin practically sparkles in the sun. Dunbar is making his way up the bluff. The steepest part is at the lip and here he drops to all fours. Dunbar's face comes into view. He freezes. Someone is creeping under the shade of the awning... an aboriginal man. Dunbar's head pops down behind the bluff. The lieutenant is down on his naked haunches. His heart is pounding in his ears. Sweat has broken out on his face. His mouth is dry as ash. He's playing back images in fragments. A deerskin shirt, strands of hair sewn along each sleeve. Fringed leggins. A dark, faded breechclout. Moccasins with beading. A single, large feather drooping behind a head of shiny, black hair. Braids wrapped in fur. A lethal stone club hanging from a red hand. No eyebrows on a magnificent, primitive face. 27 (CONTINUED) 65 CONTINUED: Dunbar stays in a crouch, trying to think on jellied legs. His breathing has quickened. His mouth is open. A horses' whinny startles him. Ever so slowly, the lieutenant peers over the bluff. The aboriginal man is in the corral. He's walking slowly toward Cisco. One hand is held out reassuringly, the other is grasping a rope. He's making gentle, cooing sounds and is only a step or two from being able to loop his line over the horse's neck. DUNBAR You there! Kicking Bird jumps straight into the air. As he lands he whirls to meet the voice that startled him. Dunbar is coming. His hands are clenched and his arms are swinging stiffly at his sides. Kicking Bird has turned to stone at the sight of this horror. With a sharp intake of breath, he staggers back a few steps. Then he turns and runs, tearing through the corral fence as if it were made of twigs. He leaps onto his horse and quirts the pony into full gallop. Dunbar is watching from the yard. His jaw is clenched, his hands are still fisted. The great grassland is empty. Kicking Bird is gone.
Essence: for meths is a great metaphor for Dunbar’s arc – for his transition from modern man to wise man, as he adopts the ways of the Indians.
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<font face=”inherit”>I’m Steve John Bennett, I have 4 features completed, 16 awards from various comps and three Recommends. I want to do better – I want to be the best </font>I<font face=”inherit”> can be – I want to collaborate with the best – in a year I want to be at a totally different level to where I am now.</font>
Something unique, special, strange or unusual about me? Coming out of Waldorf education, I have an underlying conviction of a spiritual world around us, and I want to tap that, express that but without it being ‘in your face’ or ‘on the nose’. I’m an astrologer as well…
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Steve John Bennett
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