Steven Delisi
Forum Replies Created
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I learned that a characters ending is one that tracks with who they’ve been throughout the story. And it’s not predictable … they are unique and they will also experience their ending according to their profile.
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How does the character accomplish the following:
Fitting ending based upon who they have been.
– when he finally gets his chance, he makes an impactful play
They experience the end in their own unique way.
– even though he’s not sure what to do, he goes all out in the last play
This brings their journey to a conclusion.
– he gets to play in a game of his beloved team
What makes these characters engaging?
– he’s an innocent who gives everything he’s got
How are they expressing their profile?
He sprints onto the field & again during the last play of the game.
Where do you see character depth in this scene?
– when he asks “where do I go?”
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I learned that a character’s climax will track with or mirror that of the story structure … in the final act. Cypher is willing to kill everyone who he believes betrayed him… and he ultimately dies too while claiming to prefer the Matrix to reality.
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Where do you see the following for Cypher:
The ultimate expression of their conflict.
– he’s killing all the people he used to trust and now feels they betrayed him.
A true test of their character.
– he’s trying to manipulate Trinity
The “yes or no” moment in their journey.
He’s willing to kill everybody? I’m not sure I understand this scene and what the”yes” or “no” moment is?
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I learned that a character’s turning point is a major change they choose that reflects the development in their journey … its point of no return to their normal state or previous life.
For me, a breakthrough is to see Neo at once resist this decision out of fear of the unknown, but yet he’s somehow compelled to go through with it.. to find the truth. It’s like the conflict inside him is played out when he sees an image of himself that is not real to him.
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How does this Turning Point cause the following:
Part of the character’s journey.
– he’s destined to learn the truth about himself
Changes the character’s life forever.
– Neo is forever changed after taking the red pill
Requires them to up their game NOW.
– he’s about to be used.
What makes these characters engaging?
– Neo has no idea he’s being used?
How are they expressing their profile?
– He resists.
Where do you see character depth in this scene?
– When he resists
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This is a tough one for me, but I see some kind of recognition in Neo when he sees the mirror image of himself just before being transported to the ‘real world’. The character depth I see is his fear and yet a determined resolve in place at the same time.
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I learned that the character introduction is critical to engaging us enough to want to go on their journey. We get an idea of who they are and what makes them tick, even if only a small part of them in revealed in the first scene.
INSIGHT: introducing characters can be done with contrast … like how the Don is in a position of power and is the one listening & mostly quiet … reserved, while his guest is needing help and must pay fealty to the Don… he is talking almost non stop and later begging him.
BREAKTHROUGH: A main character who is in a position of power, can behave in a very measured way … to the point where he or she is untouchable by the other characters.
Don Corleone has him on a string the whole time. It’s engaging watch how he manipulates his guest.
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How the Don Corleone character does the following:
Puts him in a challenging situation,
– On his daughter’s wedding day, a guest comes to him for a favor that involves violence … he wants a murder for revenge that is not justified.
Give him interesting dialogue,
– He talks about friendship and fealty as if they are the same thing for him. He speaks in an easy and laid back way … but his message is one of personal power.
Has him take action that fits their character, and…
– He chastises the visitor for never giving him the proper respect to the point where the man begs him and lowers himself in an act or fealty towards the Don.
Give us an insight into who he really is.
He is a manipulator who is always one step ahead of anyone else … friend or enemy. He says no to the request for a revenge murder, but accepts the man’s fealty in exchange for some illegal form of justice.
What makes these characters engaging?
The guest quickly changes his tone from one of self importance to one of helpless and needing the Don for justice.
Don Corleone is like a puppeteer the way he listens and considers what the guest is saying, then he turns the man’s past behavior or lack of respect into a debt that will now further put him in a position of power.
How are they expressing their profile?
– Don C. speaks softly and with intention about what he wants rather than what the guest wants. INSIGHT: this is a counterpoint to who he really is.
– The guest behaves like a victim … & talks about how he’s been a patriotic American, but the system has failed him.
Where do you see character depth in this scene?
The guest goes from being self congratulatory, patriotic for effect, to being demanding & disrespectful (according to this world), and then to being a coward who has to grovel for the favor of violence that is immoral and illegal.
BREAKTHROUGH: A main character who is in a position of power, can behave in a very measured way … to the point where he or she is untouchable by the other characters.
Don Corleone has him on a string the whole time. It’s engaging watch how he manipulates his guest.
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Clarice is a rookie FBI agent that has no experience or training for dealing with a psychopath of Hannibal’s level. She has to overcome any self doubts to survive. She successfully engages him just enough to avoid being trapped or lose her sanity.
Hannibal’s journey:
Hannibal has had his way with victims, law enforcement and institutions. But now, he’s a prisoner who needs a victim. His only chance for his perverse satisfaction is to manipulate Clarice. But he’s never faced someone who he can’t completely manipulate as her.
A breakthrough for me is that characters don’t have to change to be on the journey that further defines them. Hannibal doesn’t change as he’s at once difficult to figure out, but has been predictable. His journey might be developed by what Clarice does and how she changes during her journey.
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INSIGHT: she’s telling him something about himself that he needs to hear, using the tools he’s so used to for expressing feelings… and it becomes a moment of acknowledgement for him. I think this leads to his behavior of gratitude at the end of the scene.
I learned that characters can have a great and complex attraction when they each have something to offer the other that is not just physical or complimentary.
Their mutual love for music is the starting point, but it gets deeper because she picks up on his needs being expressed in the music. He realizes he can trust her as she opens up to him as well.
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Where do you see attraction show up for Ally?
When Jack says “Can I tell you a secret” (What?)then he whispers “I think you might be a songwriter”. Then a moment later, “But don’t worry I won’t tell anybody. (pause) I’m not very good at keeping secrets”. – The subtext here is that he’s gonna share how wonderful she is with the world.
· Where do you see attraction show up for Jack?
When she stands up and sings the chorus. She really gets deep into it & he’s taken with her emotions.
· What is causing that attraction?
Their mutual love for music. And maybe, because she picks up on his needs being expressed in the music. He realizes he can trust her.
What drama is this scene built around?
She has his attention and she will need to reveal her talents to him by performing in an empty parking lot.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?’
Jack’s wound: her lyrics that catch his attention are about him, trying to fill a void.
INSIGHT: she’s telling him something about himself that he needs to hear, using the tools he’s so used to for expressing feelings… and it becomes a moment of acknowledgement for him. I think this leads to his behavior of gratitude at the end of the scene.
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INSIGHT – Tess’ wound is further opened when Terry asks Danny, “you recently were released from prison, is that correct? (Danny answers) How does it feel to be out?” Danny replies, “about the same.”
This matter of fact statement that there was and still is something between him and her.
Breakthrough: subtext works on multiple levels in a triangle
What I learned is that the dialogue between two of them can illustrate the subtext about what’s going on with the third. (Tess still loves Danny)
After Tess cuts off Danny to say that he was just about to leave, Terry suggests Danny stay and have a drink, but Danny & Tess answer in unison “I/he can’t” which reveals the subtext of their strong bond & potential resumption of it. (Terry actually feels threatened by Danny now, as opposed to earlier when he acted superior.)
BRAINSTORM: differing agendas of my protagonist Darby & antagonist Hyatt, which sets up conflict?
How is the conflict set up between them?
What’s the drama surrounding a scene?
What boundaries do they violate & maybe have to reestablish?
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What makes this triangle interesting?
One of the three just got out of prison.
· Where do you see secrets, intrigue, and emotional needs?
Danny is the known thief who was convicted. But Terry the casino owner is the real criminal.
· Where do you see conflict between each point of the triangle?
Danny wants Tess back but she is still hurt that he left her. She doesn’t admit that she still has feeling s for Danny.
· What drama is this scene built around?
Danny shows up unexpectedly. He’s come for her and he states this upfront. But, she’s still angry that he concealed (lied to her) what he was doing. He left her by being arrested & going to jail. * Terry is to show up at any moment.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Her wound, abandonment emerges
Danny’s wound, he feels betrayed. Terry’s wound: jealousy
INSIGHT – Tess’ wound is further opened when Terry asks Danny, “you recently were released from prison, is that correct? (Danny answers) How does it feel to be out?” Danny replies, “about the same.”
This matter of fact statement that there was and still is something between him and her.
Breakthrough: subtext works on multiple levels in a triangle
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Breakthrough: the coach immediately addresses the problem by re-establishing the family dynamic … who’s Gary’s mother, his brothers (teammates) & who’s his daddy? Coach has him say it’s daddy’s team … the family.
What I learned:
So, this great writing utilizes a primal metaphor to reinforce character boundaries.
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How is this power struggle created?
Gary (student player) tries to dictate to the new coach who can play in the game.
· What is it about these characters that demand this power struggle?
Gary assumes because he’s a white student, that he can get away with it.
· How does each character’s audience influence and depend upon this power struggle?
The white coaches and faculty feel threatened by the presence of a black man as their team’s new coach. They (vicariously) try to put him in his place through their star player who is a white student.
The coach thinks on his feet and calls out the student’s behavior (to the gathered crowd) by comparing them to Martin & Lewis … buffoon & white male sex symbol.
What drama is this scene built around?
The white assistant coaches resent that their coach who they have to answer to is a black man. One of them is expecting to be named the coach later, as insinuated by another… their conspiracy is whispered after he walks away. The white player Gary, tries to take control of the team and undermine the coach.
· How are they expressing their Profile (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) through their words and actions?
Gary is arrogant and assumes he’s in charge of the situation because of his status as a star player … & that he’s white. (he’s even above a coach)
The coach uses intelligence and a sense of self respect to convey he’s in charge. He is reactive & wastes no time putting Gary & the other kid back into their place.
Gary’s wound emerges when the coach makes fun of his behavior … his ego shrinks.
Breakthrough: the coach immediately addresses the problem by re-establishing the family dynamic … who’s Gary’s mother, his brothers (teammates) & who’s his daddy? Coach has him say its daddy’s team … the family.
* What makes the coach a great character is that he seems a step ahead of everyone.
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What I learned rewriting my character / scene …
To find shared traits and differences that can be both mutually resonant and a counter weight to each other when my protagonist has to finally face her boss (corrupt police chief) who has set her up to fail and maybe for a deadly fall.
As with Tombstone, it could be a stacking of point / counter-point competition or some way to have a battle of equals that builds (drama) in tension & leads to some kind of recognition at the end of the scene.
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What tension comes from putting these two worthy opponents face-to-face?
Each feels the other is less.
What does Doc discover about Johnny’s character in their first meeting?
Johnny is as educated as he is.
How these two characters stand out from the others.
– Both are uniquely gifted at gun play.
What drama is this scene built around?
Johnny Ringo is aware that Doc is there to catch or stop him. Doc is aware of Johnny’s notorious reputation as an outlaw. Johnny lets him know that he’s in their tavern. Doc makes fun of Johnny in front of everybody. At first he challenges his intellect. Johnny counters him, then goes on the offensive with a gun play display that likely can’t be matched. But then Doc counters with a funny display of talent using his drink cup.
What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
Doc is drunk.
Doc is cocky and self confident.
Ringo is prideful.
Both are smart.
INSIGHT: both are made to be the center of attention by the other … each having to keep cool under pressure. It’s like they reverberate shared traits with one another until something has to give.
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What I learned rewriting my scene / character ?
A breakthrough for me was to witness how seamlessly or nonchalantly Sam could project his neediness onto his son while on the phone with Dr. Marsha. It was done so matter of factly, so when she counters him with his own feelings at stake, that it gives this part of the scene even more depth.
My protagonist Darby is a bit cynical as she’s a narcotics cop, while her father Kurtis … who is streetwise enough to evade a drug gang and dirty cops, is hunted by both. But he’s somehow more open and available to her, and even tries to help her when she’s made an outsider on the police force. They are both out of touch with their deeper feelings though. I’m brainstorming scene ideas where they have to confront their individual loneliness or neediness.
Just like Dr. Marsha, another character, is manipulating them into confessional or a betrayal of their own beliefs or morals, etc.
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What causes you to believe these two belong together?
Annie & Sam answer Dr Marsha at the same time “sure you do” … responding to her “I don’t want to invade your privacy” comment.
They both seem equally clueless about what the Dr. suggests is missing for Sam.
Notice any similar emotions, words, and actions
– Annie starts to become emotional after hearing about Sam’s wife (taking care of him), and then again hearing his son talking to Dr. Marshall.
What drama is this scene built around?
Sam is a single Dad … he’s lonely, it’s Christmas time.
Annie is driving alone on a rainy night.
· What profile items (right character, traits, secret, wound, future) showed up in these two character’s words and actions?
He’s a bit naive & she’s cynical …
Contrast the way they each simultaneously say “sure you do” to Dr. Marsh
He’s clueless & even say’s “this is really fun” (future)
He’s needy. “It’s tough this time of year. Every kid needs a mother.”
Annie is empathic. * Annie’s wound might be triggered by hearing about Sam’s abandonment.
Insights & breakthroughs (my own)
Sam projects his own neediness onto Jonah when describing how tough it’s been. Then, Annie answers Dr. Marshall … before she says (to Sam) “Don’t answer that.”
what I didn’t notice (insights of others)
What I learned rewriting my scene / character ?
A breakthrough for me was to witness how seamlessly or nonchalantly Sam could project his neediness onto his son while on the phone with Dr. Marsha. It was done so matter of factly, so when she counters him with his own feelings at stake, that it gives this part of the scene even more depth.
My protagonist Darby is a bit cynical, while her father Kurtis … who is streetwise enough to evade a drug gang and dirty cops, yet they are both out of touch with their deeper feelings. I’m brainstorming scene ideas where they have to confront their individual loneliness or neediness.
Just like Dr. Marsha, another character, is manipulating them into confessional for an agenda of his own. This is likely to be a triangle relationship.
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@Pat Fitzgerald I really like your analysis of this scene … especially the insight that their conflict “builds” over the course of the scene. Regarding what drama is there, I assumed it’s simply the fact that she’s about to leave for California & their relationship is about to change. Then, the resulting wounds that get triggered … illustrate the new conflict. Just wondering what you & anyone thinks? Thanks!
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I learned that a character’s wound is a great tool for motivating their action, proactively or defensively. Besides how this can lead to breakthroughs for plot development, the relationships can go deeper because of how their individual wounds will resonate with their own.
* for my father / daughter story, I am now thinking about how Darby will eventually be let down by Kurtis after they reunite. More specifically, it will be something that prevents him from fulfilling the wish (that she imposes) for their new relationship.
After rewriting a scene:
where they are hiding together and Kurtis have to get in a disguise to avoid being captured by thugs. Darby insists he follow her lead and get in costume clothes. In the next draft, he resists and brings up her childhood doll … that annoyed him when she left out on the floor. This minor wound of his only opens up her deeper wound further … that he was once her Dad, but left her & Mom. So, she lets him have it! He then accepts and does what she wants. He goes back to making jokes or seeming like nothing phases him.
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– What causes both characters to reveal their wounds?
Skylar asks Will to come to California with her. He says he can’t go & makes all kinds of excuses.
– How are those wounds motivating their emotions, actions, and reactions?
Will reacts to the invitation with fear & unwavering skepticism. He even becomes violent(controlled … yelling & punching the wall, to protect his wound.
Skylar fights back and keeps forcing him to confront his fears about taking the next step.
– How is each character threatening the other’s wound?
Skylar keeps confronting him about his fears.
Will keeps bringing up the money she inherited … which the origins of are painful for her.
What drama was this scene built around?
Skylar is about to leave for school in California. Their relationship is about to change.
What traits showed up in these character’s words and actions?
Will’s skepticism “are you sure about that” & “well, how do you know?”
Will is extremely defensive and emotionally closed.
Skylar is more fearless and seemingly open.
Skylar can’t let go of her ‘wish’, so her disappointment emerges.
* for my father / daughter story, I am now thinking about how Darby will eventually be let down by Kurtis after they reunite. More specifically, it will be something that prevents him from fulfilling the wish (she kind of imposes) for their new relationship.
– this inspired from the insight that Skylar has this (seemingly unattainable) wish to fulfill with her relationship with Will.
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@C A Holmes, I somehow missed that this scene is a double reveal via the drinking game. I really like your insights here, including this (for me a breakthrough) & that the level of tension created is in contrast with the actual murder (committed by Kate) scene.
So in addition to my initial post here, I’m learning how a characters actions can reveal more than just their own secrets…. if they calculate or engineer that outcome.
I just started my outline for a feature screenplay that has a father / daughter relationship where the daughter is a rookie narcotics cop and will discover over time that the killer she must find is her dad that abandoned the family years ago. * I’m trying to figure out what secret SHE might have though … before I decide how & when his is revealed. So, I’m wondering if these can be played off one another, similar to the drinking game scene?
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The verbal / drinking game is a great way to engage the characters & us the audience, & deliver a reveal about Kate’s character.
Sawyer seems to play it like he’s leading her (& us) down a path to the secret. A breakthrough for me is the realization that dialogue & action have a more natural relationship when you set up a game like this. It feels visceral too. We all can relate to being cornered about or tricked into revealing a secret.
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The verbal / drinking game is a great way to engage the characters & us the audience.
Sawyer finds a unique way to discover Kate’s secret by way of the verbal drinking game. It plays like he’s leading her (& us) down a path to the secret.
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A breakthrough for me, is how a character’s way of speaking tells us about him and how he will likely operate throughout the story. Bagger enters & ends the scene in a kind of poetic structure / way. Finally, when Bagger explains “we need to find your swing”, and engages Jonah in practice swings, he uses this rhythmical form of speaking, that he starts & stops with each golf shot by Junah, that punctuates the progression: Junah hitting the ball poorly … to better …. to great again. So, I realize that the differing rhythm & tempo for each character not only sets them apart from each other, but indicates who they really are.
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Bagger: he’s educated … enters from the dark announcing himself in a poetic way and references his faith in God. He’s optimistic and rational, even though he’s sort of a tramp. This is in contrast to Junah. Baggers immediate words telegraph that he’s there to save Junah.
A breakthrough for me, is how a characters way of speaking tells us about him and how he will likely operate through out the story. * In the end, when bagger explains “we need to find your swing”, he uses this rhythmical form of speaking that shows the progression of Junah hitting the ball poorly … to better …. to great.
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What I learned rewriting my scene/character is that thinking about my character’s future condition (how their journey will end), has led to discovering an idea for their wound & a correlating trigger. So, writing them to live into the future informs their present.
the idea: my protagonist Darby (a rookie cop) is over protective with a much older cop she hardly knows and is irritated with early on since they become partners. But, she jumps to his defense in an over the top way. So, the wound I discovered is about over compensating (I think for a sense of loss) … this is triggered by teasing they both get from fellow cops who are insensitive and tribal.
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The scene begins with the over arching drama that they are on the run … Kyle is being hunted in a large manhunt, etc., & literally out of gas. And, maybe figuratively for Sarah (or both?) as we find out she does not feel important enough to be the one.
Sarah will find out how important she really is though, which this scene is about living into her future.
Kyle will successfully deliver an important message & have it acted upon.
Sarah’s transformation:
She will go from being unsure of herself and living an insignificant life, to saving the world. And, by helping her son survive in the future … she will become fulfilled in the present.
Insight: one character can help another fulfill their character journey. I’m wondering if it can be an obstacle for themselves at the same time? (maybe a breakthrough realization)
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In the end of the scene, Will concedes his social status (after the arrogant guy reminds him of what a degree means in society) and so Will proposes they can “settle it outside”… the guy backs down. Will was willing to resort to brawn over brains … because inside he feels defeated(deeper character).
* So the guy’s final blow about Will’s social status, triggers a deep wound & reveals his low self esteem.
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What I learned:
A well written character has traits that are layered and they are revealed to us one after the other … and maybe the deeper ones via triggers from other characters actions or behaviors.
In the end of the scene, Will concedes his social status (after the arrogant guy reminds him of what a degree means in society) and so Will proposes they can “settle it outside”… the guy backs down. Will was willing to resort to brawn over brains (deeper character) … because inside he feels defeated. * So the guy’s final blow about Will’s status, triggers a deep wound & reveals his low self esteem.
My very new script:
My protagonist Darby has a deeper wound than the one on the surface … the one seemingly about being a capable woman in a narrow man’s world (she’s a narcotics detective), might be covering something about how she really feels about herself. I’m working on what her wound is and what triggers there will be.
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Hi Cheryl.
I have not received an email (if that’s the method) with the lesson, nor the opening audio.
Please advise! Thanks
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1. Steven Delisi.
2. I agree to the terms of this release form.
GROUP RELEASE FORM
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
This completes the Group Release Form for the class.
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Hello everyone!
Steven Delisi here.
I’ve written one feature script … a long time ago.
I hope to develop characters and relationships that are very compelling.
I’m a former picture editor and currently a musician.
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Wow, that’s a great insight… that he undergoes a rebirth of some kind.
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Hi Kristina,
Would you like to exchange feedback? I have a very short scene in which I wrote with some of the week 1 lessons in mind. If so, please let me know how best to exchange pages. Thanks!
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Hi Kristina,
Would you like to exchange feedback for the current Week 1 lessons? I’m working on a scene more or less inspired by the character ‘wound’ lesson. It’s very brief.
– Steve
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Hi Kristina!
I just now figured out the access issue … simply by logging out & back into my account. The link to the class showed up 🙂
But thank you for your help too … will use that if anything else!!
– Steven