[Sung-Ju Lee]

I, Sung-Ju Suya Lee, agree to the terms and conditions of this release form.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

ScreenwritingU, Sat., Dec. 4, 2021

[ProSeries #80] Suya Lee’s Pass #6: Subplots with Meaning

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 12

Day 12: Subplots That Have Meaning!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Subplots are needed to give more depth to your story – deepen and improve your story with more meaning and emotion. I hadn’t thought of some of the storylines below. Like the drugs – how could I connect that with the Veterans somehow. Like the Pirate and his son – how could I connect that with the Veterans when the adult children are in their 40s – 50s. Brainstorming, I came up with a teenage grandchild to guide/save. I have added the first 3 subplots to my extended outline in Final Draft. I am now adding everything to that outline which will eventually become my screenplay, albeit a first draft.

Concept: When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Protagonist Goal: The 4 old time veterans must save their families.

Protagonist Character Arc: The 4 old time veterans find the courage they lost. They all fought in losing wars, and now can win this time.

Main Conflict: The Pirates from South-East Asian attack their cruise ship.

Subplots and “How can I make this more meaningful or emotional for my lead character?”:

One subplot: A parallel father/grandfather and son/grandson story – One Pirate leader wants his teenage son to go to Australia and stay there, not to become a Pirate like himself. One Veteran wants her/his grandson/daughter (who joined cadets) to travel and explore the world and find his/her passion, not to become a military man like her/himself or a janitor like the father or a cashier like the mother. Each pushes the teenager out of their comfort zone. Unsure, if I should save this teenage Pirate at the end. The only surviving Pirate. He would have to do something to warrant the Veterans allowing him onto the tender boat at the end. He could tell the Veterans where the grandchildren are down below.

Another subplot: One of the Veterans used to be a drug addict (tosses his/her bongs into the trash when they leave the Veterans’ retirement home and to go cruising around the world). On the cruise ship, sees Pirates carrying the drugs to the elevator. As the Pirates and Veterans fight in the luggage holding area, the Veteran hides a bag between some crates/suitcases. Some of the Pirates sneak a snort while they are fighting (hence, they don’t pay as much attention when the Veterans fight back). Most of the Pirates are drug addicts. When the cruise ship sinks, the Veteran lets go of the bag of drugs.

Another subplot: The Veterans and the Refugee bond, help each other when the fighting starts. Both sets of people want to survive. Both the Veterans and the Refugees are unwanted people, seeking a better life somewhere else. The Veterans’ grandchildren and the Refugee children bond and save each other during the first fight in the dining room. This helps the Veterans’ grandchildren become proactive when they are held hostage by a Pirate in the crew bunk bed room. The grandchildren overwhelm that one Pirate guarding them in the crew bunk bedroom down below.

Another subplot: Still unsure, but thinking about – two of the Veterans start to fall in love. One of those 2 Veterans die?

[Sung-Ju Lee]

[ProSeries #80] Suya Lee’s Pass #5: Action / Reaction

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 11

Day 11: Action / Reaction

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

If you put an action in, the reaction has got to count. The back-and-forth of action and reaction between the protagonists and antagonists have got to matter. Every beat has got to earn it’s way in. Otherwise, delete it. Emotions are crucial. I have to think about the rollercoaster of emotions in this action thriller.

Concept: When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Protagonist Goal: The 4 old time veterans must save their families.

Protagonist Character Arc: The 4 old time veterans find the courage they lost. They all fought in losing wars, and now can win this time.

Main Conflict: The Pirates from South-East Asian attack their cruise ship.

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</div>

What the protagonists want: to escape the Veterans’ home, just growing old there, like an old timers prison.

What they need: to be useful, be of service, again. To have one more hurrah, one more adventure. To feel alive, again.

Old trait: gave up too easily, surrendered to old age, to the system.

Changed to: being alive. Not going into old age
without a fight.<div>

Antagonists/ Protagonists/Protagonists’ Emotions + Feelings:

#1. American
gov’t cuts Veterans’ subsidies. New retirement home admin kicks out Veterans./ The
Veterans buy their first lottery ticket (no choice), and win the mega lottery. It’s
beginner’s luck. Buy a cruise ship./ They
feel defeated. Let down by the American gov’t. Then, they say F-U to the
America gov’t, cruise around the world.

#2. Pirates
wave to the cruise ship for help. On 2 Pirate boats with refugees./ Veterans
and Family help the ‘refugee’ boats./ They
feel good saving people.

#3. Pirates
take out their guns, it’s a hijacking./ Veterans
fight back./ They
feel hoodwinked. Still got the fight in them.

#4. 2
Pirates head off to the lagoon on one Pirate boat./ Veterans
make the Pirates shoot their guns to warn the other Veterans and Family members
at the lagoon./ Take
further action to save others.

#5. At
the lagoon, Pirates attack Veterans and family members./ Veterans
need to get the Pirates away from the Family./ Shocked.
Feel ambushed.

#6. Once
the shark spear goes into the engine, the Pirate boat stops on a jolt. One
Pirate falls into the water, a shark gets him./ [Veterans take first action] One Veteran spears the Pirates’ engine./ Veterans
feel elated.

#7. At
the lagoon, a Pirate shoots one Family member in the calf./ Veterans
are given no choice, but to give up. They don’t have guns./ Defeated.

#8. At
the lagoon, Pirates get the 2 Veterans and 2 Family members on 4 ski jets to
pull the damaged boat to the cruise ship./ Veterans
agree, but plot to escape./ Veterans
must make a plan or their Family lives are at risk.

#9. On
the cruise ship, Pirates want ransom money./ Veterans
agree to give money. It’s down below,
get away from the grandchildren. One Veteran disables the internet./ Protect
the grandchildren, family members, refugees.

#10. Pirates
fight in luggage area, but are disadvantaged./[Veterans take first action] Veterans
attack, have the advantage below. Kill one Pirate, shoot another./ Veterans
want to fight back.

#11. Pirates
arrive from the lagoon with the damaged boat./ 2
Veterans escape on jet skis to the other side of the cruise ship./ Feel
brave.

#12. Pirate
tries to fix the boat./ Veteran
scuba dives under the ship, damages the engine more, unhinges the engine so it
falls into the water./ Victorious.

#13. Pirates
get the drugs, put on working Pirate boat. But, the refugees want to get on the
boat to Australia./ Veterans
see the chaos, fighting, etc. One Lagoon Veteran damages the remaining good
Pirate boat./ Feel
a chance to create more divide.

#14. Pirates
try to release a tender boat. Force a Veteran to do it./ Veteran
fake tries, one end of the tender boat releases. But, not the other end./ Feels
relief.

#15. Pirates
take the grandchildren hostage, take them down below./Veterans
must rescue grandchildren, then one Veteran dies./ Feel
brave.

#16. One
Pirate encourages his son to get on their boat to Australia, and don’t come
back./ Veterans
see this. Kidnap that Pirate’s son./ Feel
encouraged. Another chess move to their advantage.

#17. Down
below, Pirates get trapped in the sinking ship./ [Veterans take first action] Veterans
lock the Pirates in the rooms below./ Feel
safer, they are winning.

#18. Pirates
drown as the ship sinks./ Veterans
release the tender boats, everyone is safe now. Radio for rescue./ Relief.
Brave.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Great Action Set Piece!

Lesson 14: Writing Great Action Set Pieces

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Not easy. A lot of work. Unpacking, repacking. Writing great Action set pieces needs layering, contrast, juxtaposition, and it needs emotional arcs. Yikes. Trying to envision the fight scene was mind blowing. Especially never having written an Action movie. I kept thinking make it worse for both the protagonists and the antagonists. What can I do now? What can they/it/situation be more broken now? Who gets it next? It’s still a work-in-progress since this is a completely new story idea. Keep layering it, and finding new things. Such as the Veterans know Morse code, and tap out messages.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.

I decided to try the first Action scene between the Veterans and the Pirates. It’s got to be exciting and emotional.

1. Build in the meaning.

Set-up: Pirate boats signal for help (about mid-day).

Pre-Action: Veterans and Families welcome them onboard, and give them food and drinks.

Action: Pirates take out their guns. Pirate pose as People Smuggler. They do have actual Refugees on their boats (who paid cash for the trip to Australia). Then, Pirates act as hijackers, demanding ransom money, whatever the Veterans have in their ‘meagre’ bank accounts. Pirates get the drugs down below deck. They are initially drug runners to Australia. Shot up into the air (which alerts the Veterans and Families in the lagoon). The cruise ship and lagoon are happening at the same time. The 2 Veterans tackle the Pirates, but a Pirate grabs a male Family member. He beats him up. Veterans stop fighting. One Veteran has managed to escape with some Family members. All have radios.

Pirates are scattered. Some of the Pirates have gone on one Pirate boat to the lagoon. Some of the Pirates have gone down below to get the drugs.

When a Pirate points a gun at a grandchild’s head, the Veteran that is in the dining room, says he’ll give whatever money he has and transfer on the Pirates laptop. Across the ship, the escaped Veteran hears over the radio, and starts climbing the internet pole. The Veteran says his bank details are in his suitcase in the luggage holding area. They need to go down below.

The second fight occurs in the luggage holding area.

Post-Action: As the Veteran and 2-3 Pirates go down below, they leave the Families (and grandchildren) safe for the time being.

Elevate:

What if…?

Crew Z doesn’t weld back the ship panels. A stray bullet hits the outside panel, water comes in. The ship starts to list. Refugees get invited for the Veterans’ next cruise. The Pirates want to take the cruise ship to Australia. Or, back to their seaside village.

Take to an extreme.

The grandchildren kill their Pirate captor and escape. The Pirate leaves the in-room bathroom, and kids plan an attack. The Pirate isn’t expecting anything from the grandchildren. They kick him in the nuts, head, take his gun. But, accidently pull the trigger. They know the layout of the ship, and hide in places/spaces, as they make their way up to the top deck.

Specific to character or environment.

As the ship lists, it goes on its side. The cruise ship fills with more water. People down below have to swim inside the hallways and get to the top. Pirates don’t know the layout, can’t swim to the top.

Shocking or Surprising.

Pirates plan to blow the ship up even if they get the mega ransom money. But, as the bomb ticks away, they get caught inside the cruise ship. Veterans lock them in various rooms. They drown, and also the cruise ship blows up. Or, it only blows a bigger hole, thus water comes in faster. Pirates drown faster inside the ship. The Pirate who said he would leave with his son and crew, stays to fight the other Pirates. Refugees fight the Pirates who say they will no longer take some of the Refugees to Australia.

Go opposite.

Refugees don’t need to go to Australia if they are invited to go on a worldwide cruise with the Veterans. Veterans invite the Pirates to go on a worldwide cruise. Veterans take the drugs.

What haven’t we seen?

Old Veterans winning the mega lottery, buying a cruise ship, sailing, getting attacked by Pirates, South-East Asian Refugees, helping the Veterans.

2. Make the Action Unique.

List your 9 Places For
Uniqueness.

Environment: On the
cruise ship’s dining room on the upper deck. Everyone eats and drinks. Fight
starts inside, then goes to the outside deck. Also, some of the younger
Pirates drank hard lemonade, and are tipsy. One Veteran can see across the
ship, to the other Veteran (who escaped) climbing the internet pole.

Rules: Veterans have
to scheme together, be as tricky as the Pirates. They know the ship’s
layout and all its quirks. Like one Veteran can disable the internet.
Villain: Pirates are
good at trickery. They posed as People Smugglers to get Refugees onto
their boat (plus get cash). When they get on the cruise ship, they acted
like they really wanted to hijack the ship for ransom money. But, their
initial mission was get the drugs on the ship, and deliver them to Australia
(as Refugee boats sailing to Australia). Not the first time they have done
this. Part of a bigger drug network.

Mission: Veterans
save the grandchildren. Take the Pirates down below into the luggage
holding area, away from the grandchildren. Where a second fight happens,
when the lights go out. Pirates shoot all around, injuring one Pirate,
killing one Pirate. Veterans duck, go to the floor, especially since they
don’t have guns. They know to instinctively do this. One Veteran gets the
gun from the Pirate who was killed.

Struggle: Veterans are
taken by surprise when the Pirates shoot their guns into the air. Veterans
don’t have guns. They tackle initially in the dining room. Food and drinks
go everywhere. Like a food fight. Everyone is covered in food and drinks.
Slip, slide across the floor. Pirates accidentally shoot up the dining
room, windows smashed and liquor cabinet smashed, broken glass everywhere.
One Veteran takes a piece of broken glass as a weapon, and a carving
knife. Hides them in his socks, folds sock over, so doesn’t cut into his
skin.

Unique Skillset: Veterans
know the layout in the luggage holding area, know where to hide/duck, as
the Pirates start shooting. One Veteran already there, the other shows up
(the one who climbed the pole to disconnect the internet). Veterans know Morse code.

Meaning: A dream of a
worldwide cruise bursts when the Pirates take out their guns. Their cruise
ship no longer has meaning when it starts sinking and Veterans must save
their Families and Refugees off the ship. First, the main mission is to get
the Pirates away from the grandchildren. Second, try to disarm the Pirates
in the luggage area.

<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Allies: A Refugee trips
a Pirate, so he slips on the broken glass. Cuts his hand, so he can hold
his AK-47 properly. A Crew member tosses hot coffee into a Pirate’s face. The
grandchildren and the Refugee’s children became instant friends when they
were drinking and eating. One Refugee child gathers the other
grandchildren away from the Pirates, since the Refugee child knows about
danger, but the grandchildren don’t. Maybe hide in the bathroom in the
dining room.

Weapon: Broken
glass, carving knife. Shark spears, lawn bowling balls, baseball bats,
knives, fire extinguishers, etc.

3. Create through the 9 Action Emotions.

Surprise: The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees are surprised when the Pirates take out their guns, especially since everyone was talking, laughing, eating, drinking, relaxing. Pirates and Refugees saying that were so relieved to be on a cruise ship sinking their boats had malfunctioned. Are the Pirates for real? Are they holding real guns? What kind of gratitude is this, after saving your lives?

Shock: The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees are shocked when the Pirates fire their guns into the air. They realized the guns are real, and the Pirates mean business. This isn’t a fake hijacking. How could the Pirates do this when we saved them from their malfunctioning boats?

Suspense: A crew member says the others are at the lagoon. Is this Crew X, the traitor, working for the Pirates? Or, an innocent comment? One Pirate boat races to the lagoon. Veterans, Families and Crew know that loved ones are at the lagoon. Will they survive an attack with this Pirate boats, men with itchy fingers on triggers? Will their loved ones be prepared to fight, or to escape?

Anxiety: The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees now realize the cruise ship is under attack. Pirates have hijacked the cruise ship for real. They want ransom money to be transferred onto their laptop. One Veteran explains that all their money went into buying the old cruise ship. A Veteran makes it to the radio, a Pirate chases him, and smashes the radio.

Surprise: One Pirate leader calls for Crew Z to get the drugs hidden down below. Half of the Pirates still on the cruise ship go down below. The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees are surprised the cruise ship was used as a drug ship. Wasn’t this cruise ship delisted and going to India to be dismantled/used for scrap?

Fear: A Pirate tortures/beat up one male Family member for whatever ‘meagre’ money the Veterans have. Do the money transfer now or else. A fight ensues between the Pirates, Veterans, some Crew, some Family members. A Pirate point s a gun at a grandchild’s head. Pirates take control, again. During the fight, one Veteran takes some Family members away from the dining room deck.

Relief: The Veteran agrees to give the Pirates the ‘meagre’ ransom money, says to stop pointing the gun at the grandchild’s head. But, the bank details are in a suitcase in the luggage holding area, down below. Pirate stops holding a gun to the grandchild’s head. They leave the grandchildren alone for the time being. Two Pirates and the Veteran go down below. Only one young, but tipsy Pirate stays on deck. Get danger away from the grandchildren.

Danger: What happens down below in the luggage holding area? Does the Veteran have his bank details in his suitcase? The Veteran starts the money transfer, but the internet gets disabled. Pirates don’t understand why that is. The other Veteran had climbed up the pole to disable the internet. And, also the lights. So, the lights down below go out. Pitch black, but the Veteran knows the layout of the cruise ship. Pirates shoot anything (if they hear it). So, they end up killing one of their own, and injuring another. The Veteran instantly/ instinctively ducks, then tackles in the dark. The other Veteran (who climbed the communication pole) enters, crouches, and tackles a Pirate. He has a broken glass, and slices the Pirate’s ankle. Pirates shoot the ship, one bullet goes through an interior wall into the engine room. A bullet hits the engine. A fire starts.

Excitement: The two Veterans are taking out the Pirates one by one. They tap out the Morse code to communicate with each other (another unique skill they have). Pirates don’t know Morse code. They team up to tackle one Pirate.

Adrenaline: They Morse code each other to escape by the other exit door and lock the Pirates in. They race (footsteps clang), Pirates point their guns at them. The Veterans race towards the door. Then, the lights come on. The two Pirates from the lagoon chase enter, and take control, again. One Pirate got eaten by a shark during the lagoon chase (so, now only two Pirates came back).

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Unique Action!

Lesson 13: Making Action Unique

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Try new ideas. Crank up your creative juices, be absurd, be surreal, be limitless. Whatever comes up, maybe good or bad, but try.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Looking at your entire story, what is unique about each of these places:

Environment:
A Veterans’ retirement home out in the country, with cottages, a lake, a
small farm with animals. Different from a concrete jungle retirement home,
or one with a golf course attached. <div>

Rules: Modern
day story. Veterans don’t apply the rules of war when they are fighting
the Pirates on the cruise ship.

Villain:
Pirates are good at trickery. They posed as People Smugglers to get
Refugees onto their boat (plus get cash). When they get on the cruise
ship, they acted like they really wanted to hijack the ship for ransom
money. But, their initial mission was get the drugs on the ship, and
deliver them to Australia (as Refugee boats sailing to Australia). Not the
first time they have done this. Part of a bigger drug network.

Mission: Go
on a worldwide cruise with extended Family members, but get attacked by
Pirates. Now, have to fight for all their lives.

Struggle: Veterans
are taken by surprise. They don’t have guns.

Unique
Skillset: Veterans use old school skills Pirates don’t have/ know about.
Use rope lines to escape a Pirate on top of the ship.

Meaning: A
dream of a worldwide cruise bursts when the Pirates take out their guns.
Their cruise ship no longer has meaning when it starts sinking and
Veterans must save their Families and Refugees off the ship.

Allies: One
Pirate leader agrees to get off the ship when his son is kidnapped by the Veterans.
Some of the Refugees start fighting alongside the Veterans.

Weapon: Shark
spears, lawn bowling balls, baseball bats, knives, fire extinguishers, etc.

Brainstorm ways to make one or more of those places unique:

What if…?

The Refugees complete the drug run in order to get to Australia. The Veterans invite the Refugees onto their next cruise ship. The grandchildren killed their Pirate captor and escaped. The tsunami tosses the ship upside down, or sunk it and everyone has to swim up to the top. The water tornado whips the ship up in the air, everyone falls off the ship, sharks eat People.

Take to an extreme.

Veterans will scheme to save the grandchildren and escape the sinking cruise ship. They will even blow up the cruise ship with the Pirates on board to escape them. Veterans gas the lower decks and the Pirates in the luggage holding area die. Veterans sink the ship themselves.

Specific to character or environment.

The old cruise ship is docked in Hawaii. Maybe it was once a ferry boat with access for cars on the lower decks, so it might make the lower decks more interesting. They sail across the Pacific Ocean, towards The Philippines. They anchor nearby an uninhabited island with a lagoon. Could make it shark infested? When the Pirate boat chases a jet ski out of the lagoon, the sharks come. Sharks eat a Pirate who fell out of their boat when a Veteran uses a shark spear and damages their engine (instead of using it on the shark). I could add a storm brewing, to make it more exciting. Humans also have to tangle with the thunderstorm, hurricane, water tornado, tsunami, etc. The huge waves toss the small cruise ship, adds more for the Humans to deal with.

Shocking or Surprising.

What if the Pirate who said he would leave, actually stays and fights off the other Pirates to save the Veterans’ grandchildren? What if the grandchildren rescue themselves, and left the crew bunk bedroom on their own? Refugees fight the Pirates because the Pirates will not take them to Australia and they had paid good money. They end up killing the Pirates.

Go opposite.

What if the Pirates decide to blow up the cruise ship if the Veterans don’t give them the mega lottery winnings? When the fight continues down below as the Veterans race to save the grandchildren, Veterans lock Pirates in various rooms. Not only do the Pirates drown in the sinking ship, they get blown up by their own time bomb.

What haven’t we seen?

Old Veterans battling for their lives, Families and Refugees. They give some money to the Refugees to start a new life in Australia. Old Veterans destroy the drug trade. Or, they become the king pins.

Tell us about the improvements that you have made.

I’ve upped some scenes to make it more dangerous, i.e., like the sharks attacking a fallen Pirate. Twisted some scenes like the Pirates blow up the ship.

</div>

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee’s NQ 3 and 4

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 10

Day 10: Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

These necessary questions must be in your script. You cannot write your story without it. I realized the Pirate leader also learned a lesson, too.

Concept: When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Dilemma: Veterans can’t fight back, and find out the Pirates will blow up the ship anyway.

Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:

A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?

When the Pirates get out their guns, Veterans don’t do anything. Pirates beat up a male Family member, and still the Veterans don’t want to give up the ransom money to the Pirates. Veterans haven’t fought in a war in a long time. They have fought in losing wars, and have lost their spirit a long time ago. When a Pirate points a gun to a grandchild’s head, one Veteran says there isn’t really any money left since all their money went into buying the cruise ship, but will give them whatever money is left over. They don’t say they won the mega lottery. Somehow, that money is worth more than family at this time. Veterans are also shocked like the rest of their Family members, crew and Refugees. Veterans start working together to fight the Pirates, but it takes the Pirates kidnapping all the grandchildren into the crew bunk bedroom before Veterans ‘wake-up’ to what’s really important here.

B. How are both sides of the issue built up?

Pirates are on a drug run to Australia, posing as People Smugglers, with real Refugees as props. They get the ransom money (the first time) as an added bonus. When Pirates find out the Veterans won the mega lottery, they really want that money (i.e, $100 million?). Stakes get higher. But when a Pirate’s son gets kidnapped, his emotional dilemma changes, and agrees to leave the cruise ship with his son. But, he has the only Pirate boat that’s working. The other Pirate calls for back-up, and a fight ensues between the Pirates.

Veterans were depressed and broke at the start of the story, at the Veterans’ retirement home. When they won the mega lottery, they thought their lives would be easy now. They never had it good especially since all fought in losing wars. Now, they can redeem themselves by saving their Families. They get to experience courage, bravery, grace, etc. once again. Especially at the end of their lives. They get to experience love (of Family), which they thought was gone, since all are widowers. They will die for their Family over the love of money (no matter how much). Love is priceless.

C. When does the protagonist make the choice?

When a Pirate points a gun at a grandchild’s head. One Veteran speaks up, saying whatever money is left over the Pirates can have. That Veteran colludes with another Veteran still on the cruise ship to scheme against the Pirates. Veteran disables the internet for the first ransom transfer. A fight in the luggage holding area.

D. What do they lose in making that choice?

That Veteran can lose his/her life. He/She knows the Pirates will be mad when the internet gets disabled and the ransom transfer crashes, but the Pirates will be off the upper deck as they go down to the luggage holding area. Away from the Family members, especially the grandchildren.

Theme: Sacrifice everything for the love of their families.

Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:

A. What are both sides of your theme?

Side A: Sacrifice family for the love of money.

Side B: Family is priceless, and nothing is worth any money for sacrificing family.

B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?

Veterans invite the extended Family on a worldwide cruise as a bribe to get Families together. It was a bribe to rekindle their Families’ love. They thought their Families will love them more if they had money, and showed it off with this lure of a cruise. Their Families were all around the USA, and most had meagre jobs. Veterans were still in a money bubble until a Pirate points a gun at a grandchild’s head. They slowly learn over the course of a few hours they would give all the money up in the world to save their Families. The first ransom transfer scheme ends up in a fight in the luggage holding area, even with the lights out. Veterans kidnap a Pirate leader’s son to reverse the situation. Veterans fight the Pirates to get back their kidnapped grandchildren, even when the ship is on fire and sinking. Even as they fight the Pirates racing to find the grandchildren (who were moved to another room). Two Veterans sacrifice their lives to save everyone onboard.

One of the Pirate leaders also learned a lesson in this theme, too. He tries to leave with his son and his crew on his Pirate boat, the only one that was functioning. He wanted to keep his word in front of his son. But, the other Pirate leader wanted the functioning Pirate boat to go to Australia to finish the drug deal.

C. How
does the climax of the story demand your message?
Even when the 3^rd Pirate boat comes with more Pirates, Veterans risk
their lives to save the grandchildren down below in the sinking ship. They
don’t abandon the grandchildren, and get off the cruise ship. In the Third Act,
two Veterans lose their lives fighting for what they believe in now. They may
have survived losing wars. They will fight to win today. They will sacrifice
everything, even their lives. They trap the Pirates inside the cruise ship
(they drown), and get Families and Refugees off the boats.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee’s 3rd Pass — NQ 1 and 2

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 9: Adding The First Two Necessary Questions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Both questions are not only necessary, but must be answered to fit the story. Both are equally important. Both push back the other. The stakes have got to be there.

Concept: When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Tell us your Dramatic Question and the answers to these questions:

Dramatic Question: Can the old-time Veterans stop the Pirates and save their families?

A. Where does the Dramatic Question first get established and how?

At the First Act Turning Point. Just before, Veterans and Families save the Pirates (posing as People Smugglers) and the real Refugees on 2 boats. They are given food and drinks onboard the cruise ship. After they are fed, Pirates reveal themselves and take out their guns – exact moment of the First Act Turning Point.

B. How is the Dramatic Question increased in intensity?

Each scene afterwards intensifies the action of the Pirates’ threat. On the cruise ship, Pirates want a ransom, a fight ensues between the Veterans and Families against the Pirates. One male Family member gets beaten up. Then, a Pirate puts a gun at a grandchild’s head. Fight stops, but they go down to the luggage holding area, where the lights go out, and another fight ensues. One Pirate boat chases the jet skis in the lagoon. A fight ensues there. Back on the cruise ship, Veterans kidnap a Pirate leader’s son. Pirates fight amongst themselves, which result in radioing another Pirate boat to come.

C. Where does the Dramatic Question finally get answered?

During the Third Act, a blast in the engine room, and the cruise ship is engulfed in flames as it is sinking. Veterans and Family members fight the Pirates down below, in submerged water. They look for the grandchildren kidnapped in the crew bunk bedroom, but they are not there, nor the Pirate guarding them. As they race around looking for the grandchildren, they lock the Pirates in various rooms (the ones not escaping to the upper deck), since they know which rooms have locks on the outside. As the ship lists, they find the grandchildren, escape the sinking ship onto the tender boats. Pirates drown in the sinking ship. A final ship explosion.

Tell us your Main Conflict and the answers to these questions:

Main Conflict: Pirates take control of the cruise ship, kidnap the grandchildren and demand all of the Veterans’ mega lottery winnings.

A. When does the Main Conflict first show up?

Earlier in Act One, at the poor seaside village in South-East Asia, Pirates solicit Refugees. Late in Act 1, Pirates and Refugees get on the cruise ship. At the exact moment of the First Act Turning Point, Pirates get their guns out. They want ransom money.

B. How many ways can you express the Main Conflict throughout the story?

Pirates seem to have the upper hand for most of Act Two. They get the drugs from down below. They have the guns, but run out of ammo in Act Three. They beat up a male Family member. Threaten grandchildren, first with a gun to a grandchild’s head, then kidnap all the grandchildren. They want ransom money. Later, they find out Veterans had won the mega lottery, and demand all of the winnings. They get the internet back up. They call for back-up. Another Pirate boat arrives, but it is small.

C. What brings the Main Conflict to a boiling point in the 3rd Act?

When the 3^rd Pirate boat comes, Pirates fight amongst themselves. There aren’t enough boats to go to Australia and carry the Refugees. They can’t figure out how to release the tender boats. One of the ship’s quirks in its many malfunctioning parts.

D. How is the Main Conflict resolved?

They lose in Act Three. Veterans rescue the grandchildren, so go down
below into the sinking ship, fight in submerged water, where Pirates are as proficient,
and they don’t know the layout of the ship. Veterans trap the Pirates in the
rooms. Pirates drown in the ship, and also the ship explodes. Pirates all die.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Level 3 Action Emotions

Lesson 12: Level 3 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Each of the emotions has to be put into the story, it doesn’t always come naturally. Thinking of the scenes as a step-by-step procedure takes a lot of creative mojo. Still at the outlining stage.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Danger: A blast in the engine room on the cruise ship. A fire engulfs the ship. Veterans (along with the odd Family member) and Pirates fight as the ship is sinking. As they go further down into the cruise ship, all fight in submerged water.

Excitement: Veterans (and Family members) start winning, use shark spears, lawn bowling balls, knives, flare guns, fire extinguishers, etc. (whatever is on the ship) to fight the Pirates. Hold off the Pirates. Some Pirates retreat to the upper decks, as they want to get off the sinking ship.

Adrenaline: Veterans (and Family members) race to the crew bunk bedroom to save the grandchildren from the sinking ship and the Pirates.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Level 2 Action Emotions

Lesson 11: Level 2 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Since this is a completely new story idea and still at the outline stage, I realize I am missing emotions in Action. I need to put them in. I wasn’t thinking about emotions when thinking of this Action idea. I was thinking of Action set pieces first and foremost. It’s eye-opening as an emerging screenwriter. Coming off the twists lesson, I thought that was hard, this is just as hard, especially to be creative. I’m having mini-breakthroughs, adding layers almost every day.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Surprise: Veterans and Families are surprised when they see the Pirates take their waterproof bags full of cocaine bricks back to their boats. Their old cruise ship was initially a drug run ship?! Wasn’t it delisted and going to India to be scrap metal? Another thing… First, Pirates posing as people smugglers. Then, Pirates acting as hijackers, asking for ransom money. Now, Pirates as drug mules, going to Australia, with the now kidnapped Refugees. What’s next?

Shock: A blast in the engine room. Due to a Pirate’s stray bullet earlier. Now, the cruise ship is sinking. Veterans, Families and Refugees on the cruise ship fear for their lives due to the fire and ship sinking, not only the Pirates taking over the ship with the guns.

Suspense: One Pirate boat race to the lagoon. Veterans and Families know that loved ones are at the lagoon. Will they survive an attack with this Pirate boat, men with itchy fingers on triggers? Will their loved ones be prepared to fight, or to escape?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Level 1 Action Emotions

Lesson 10: Level 1 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Emotions are definitely key, even in Action movies. The example of The Matrix was good. There are some good examples in this module.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Anxiety: Pirates hijack the cruise ship. They want ransom money to be transferred on their laptop. One Veteran explains that all their money went into buying the old, second-hand cruise ship. A Veteran gets to the radio to call for help. Pirates break the ship’s radio. Pirates torture one Family member for ransom money.

Fear: A fight ensues between the Pirates and the Veterans. A Pirate points a gun at a grandchild’s head. Pirates take control, again.

Relief: That Veteran agrees to give the Pirates the meagre ransom money. But, the bank details are in a suitcase in the luggage holding area, down below. Pirate stops holding a gun to the grandchild’s head. They leave the grandchildren alone for the time being. Some Pirates and the 2 Veterans go down below. Only a few Pirates stay on deck.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Lesson 9: Twists that Engage Us!

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Five Favorite Twists:

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Audiences expect twists all the time. So, I got to master them. Not as easy as it looks on screen. The example for John Wick was good. I have to think of other twists. It’s still a work in progress. Most of the twists come in Act 2 and Act 3.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

#1

Lost Resources: The 4 Veterans lose their subsidy for the veterans’ retirement home, so get kicked out.

New Recourses: They win the mega lottery jackpot.

#2

New Threat: Pirates getting ready (to attack the cruise ship).

Unexpected Support: Later, Kai (one of the Pirate leaders), when he gets his kidnapped son back, he fights the other Pirates, and he keeps his word, that he will leave the cruise ship.

#3

Trap/ Trick: Pirates reveal themselves (once on the cruise ship). Not people smugglers in crisis. They get the drugs inside the ship and ransom money.

Escape: Later, the Veterans and Families must escape. Pirates drown inside the cruise ship.

#4

Plan Succeeds: A Veteran disconnects the Internet (Pirates laptop crashes during ransom transfer), and disconnects lights.

Plan Fails: Later, a pirate fixes the internet, wants the entire mega lottery winnings.

#5

Danger: Blast in the engine room. Fire engulfs the ship.

Reversal: Veterans fight back in order to save the grandchildren.

Surprising Alliance: Crew Z helps to rescue the grandchildren.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee’s Pass 2: Story Logic Web

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 8

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I keep having breakthroughs. Maybe mini-breakthroughs, but breakthroughs none the less. Almost daily. Not just 2 or 3 for the course. From this PS80 and the Action modules. I have already revised this story from the first day. This is a completely new story I am working on. Hence, I keep thinking about it day and night – How to improve it, How to make it more entertaining/ interesting/ exciting/ etc., more twists, more reversals, etc.

BEFORE:

Concept: When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Lead Characters:

Old time veterans:

None of them are captains, because they make many mistakes (along with dementia). They group their intel together & fight off the pirates. All are single, since they lost their loved ones. Some may fall in love with a crew member, other veteran’s extended family members, etc.

#1.My protagonist is Harry Ford, male, Caucasian American, retired navy, has slight dementia.

#2.My protagonist is Melvin Freeman, male, African American, retired air force, is hard of hearing.

#3.My protagonist is Eddy Olmos, female, Latin American, retired army, lost an arm.

#4.My protagonist is Lucia Lu, female, Asian American, retired army, lost a leg, wears a prosthetic leg, sometimes uses crutches.

Pirates in South-East Asia:

#1.My antagonist is Kai (male) who controls/runs Pirate Boat #1 & its crew.

#2.My antagonist is Rak (male) who controls/runs Pirate Boat #2 & its crew.

Plot/Structure: (Tell us the Plot number and type. Then give us the 9 beats of your structure.)

#5. Escape:
Your hero is confined against his will (often unjustly) and wants to escape. In this case, the hero is the victim. The natural progression: imprisonment, initial attempts to escape fail, new plan is made that is also thwarted, and finally, the actual escape.

9-Beat Structure:
1. Opening: The group of four old timers at the veterans retirement gather in front of the TV, watch the mega lottery draw. Some old timers (with spouses) return from a wonderful cruise (with their extended families), and say they can’t wait until the next time cruise – they feel young, revigorated, full of life. The group of four win the mega lottery that night.

2. Inciting Incident: They buy an old, second-hand small cruise ship (99 passengers cruise ship). It was going off to India to be sold as scrap metal (it’s the graveyard for delisted ships). Although they won the mega lottery, they are still cautious with their money. Note: When the Veterans buy the cruise ship, it doesn’t have an armoury with guns and ammunition.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: They call their extended families to invite them on a trip of a lifetime, an around the world cruise.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: The four Veterans and their extended families are cruising out of Hawaii. But, one of the cruise ship crew members calls the Pirates in the South-East Asia area about their cruise ship and saying they should kidnap these old timers for easy ransom money. There are two boats, with 5 Pirates each. There is a Pirate leader for each of the boats. The Pirates pretend to seek refuge on the cruise ship. The Veterans and their families welcome and take care of the Pirates. Some of the Veterans and families are swimming nearby. Then, the Pirates turn the tables and bring out their guns, kidnap the grandchildren, demand money. They break the ship’s radio so the Veterans can’t call for help. A fight ensues, but the Veterans give up. During the fight, the Pirates had shot everywhere on the ship, and it starts to sink (although, no one knows it just yet). Agree to give the Pirates the ransom money. But, the internet gets disabled by one of the Veterans.

5. Mid-Point: One of the Pirates is trying to fix the internet at the top of the ship. Families hide in various rooms since they know the layout of the ship. A mini-fire breaks out in the engine room, due to a stray bullet. Some of the Pirates and Family members (not children) get injured, some die. One of the Family members is a doctor, and takes care of the injured. The Pirates’ two boats had been sabotaged. They can’t figure out how to release the ship’s tender boats to the water. The Pirates find out that the Veterans had won the mega lottery, so demand all of the money now.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The Veterans overhear that one of the young Pirates is the son of one the Pirate leader’s. The Veterans kidnap the son. The Veterans want their grandchildren back, and for the Pirates to leave. The Veterans say they know how to release the ship’s tender boats. The Pirates call for back-up. One of the crew members overhears the Pirates say they are going to kill everyone on the ship. Another boat comes with more Pirates. But, they fight amongst themselves. Two groups against one group. The two groups want the money. While the one group wants the Pirate’s leader’s son back. More fighting, more bullets go into the ship, more damage to the ship. One Veteran gets one of the Pirate’s radios.

7. Crisis: A blast in the engine room. A fire engulfs the ship. They all fight as the ship is sinking. Fight in submerged water. The Veterans use shark spears, bowling balls, knives, flare guns, fire extinguishers, etc. (whatever is on the ship) to fight the Pirates. The Pirate on top of the ship has fixed the internet. One of the Veterans gets blackmailed, and tries to transfer the money.

8. Climax: During the last final fight between the Veterans and the Pirates, the Veterans trap the Pirates in various rooms. They know which rooms have locks on the outside. The Pirates run out of ammunition. The ship sinks with the Pirates still onboard in trapped rooms. They drown.

9. Resolution: Veterans and families get on the tender boats. One Veteran still had the Pirate’s radio and calls for help. A local fishing boat gets the call, and sends the alarm.

Character Arc:

THE CHARACTER ARC QUESTION

The 4 Veterans are stuck, depressed, at a veterans’ retirement home, without any money, then they live their real-purpose-life when they have to save their families from the Pirates.

Part to be changed: All four Veterans are depressed, lost their spouses, all fought in losing wars. Biggest fear: Never seeing victory, and their families don’t visit because they are poor, too.

Completion of arc: They save their families from the Pirates on the cruise ship.

Main Conflict: Pirates take control of the cruise ship, kidnap the grandchildren and demand all of the Veterans’ mega lottery winnings.

Dramatic Question: Can the old-time Veterans stop the Pirates and save their families?

Dilemma: Veterans can’t fight back, and find out the Pirates will blow up the ship anyway.

Theme: Sacrifice everything for the love of their families.

3. DISCOVERIES and IMPROVEMENTS:

Start off with the 4 Veterans at their lowest point. Start with a funeral, one of the spouses of the 4 Veterans dies. That Veteran wants to die by suicide now. Nothing to live for. Now, all 4 Veterans are widowed. The 4 Veterans don’t start off being good at anything. Previously they enjoyed the sports activities, and were aces at their respective sports. The sports and recreation activities at the veterans’ retirement home cost extra now. They are poor, do chores around the retirement home for extra cash.

They take care of the animals on the country retirement home (for free). They entertain other veterans’ grandchildren with the animals, such as milking the cows, picking up eggs like an egg hunt, etc. They help older veterans do things. They polish the war memorial cabinet display’s items, such as war medal, plaques, photos, etc.

Their extended families can’t visit since they live far away, and can’t afford it. They see other veterans’ extended families come visit, especially at dinnertime. They skype, zoom Facetime, etc. their own extended families, but keep it short since Internet costs extra.

To make it worse for them, a new administration at the veterans’ retirement kicks them out due to veterans needing to partially pay for their stay, no longer fully subsidized. That night, they watch the mega lottery draw on TV. So when they win, it’s a nice reversal, especially as they pick up their belongings tossed on the road, and go back to their bedrooms.

Each Veteran will have their own unique flashback to their own war that they fought in when they fight the Pirates on the cruise ship.

AFTER:

Concept: When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Lead Characters:

Old-time Veterans:

None of them are captains, because they make many mistakes (along with dementia). They group their intel together & fight off the Pirates. All are single, since they lost their loved ones. Some may fall in love with a crew member, other veteran’s extended family members, etc.

Revised to 2 males and 2 females, from 3 males and 1 female.
#1.My protagonist is Harry Ford, male, Caucasian American, retired navy, has slight dementia.

#2.My protagonist is Melvin Freeman, male, African American, retired air force, is hard of hearing.

#3.My protagonist is Mandy Rodriguez, female, Latin American, retired army, lost an arm.

#4.My protagonist is Lucia Lu, female, Asian American, retired army, lost a leg, wears a prosthetic leg, sometimes uses crutches.

Pirates in South-East Asia:

#1.My antagonist is Kai (male) who controls/runs Pirate Boat #1 & its crew. His son is one of the younger pirates.
#2.My antagonist is Rak (male) who controls/runs Pirate Boat #2 & its crew.

Plot/Structure: (Tell us the Plot number and type. Then give us the 9 beats of your structure.)

#5. Escape:
Your hero is confined against his will (often unjustly) and wants to escape. In this case, the hero is the victim. The natural progression: imprisonment, initial attempts to escape fail, new plan is made that is also thwarted, and finally, the actual escape

Character Arc:

THE CHARACTER ARC QUESTION

The 4 Veterans are stuck, depressed, at a veterans’ retirement home, without any money, then they live their real-purpose-life when they have to save their families from the Pirates.

Part to be changed: All four Veterans are depressed, lost their spouses, all fought in losing wars. They feel like second-class citizens not only in their own retirement home, but in their own country.

Biggest fear: Never seeing victory, never feeling worthy enough, forgotten by their Veterans Association, forgotten by their own country, and their families don’t visit because they are poor, too.

Completion of arc: They become brave, have a purpose in life, and want to live, again, if at least to save their families from the Pirates on the cruise ship.

Main Conflict: Pirates take control of the cruise ship, kidnap the grandchildren and demand all of the Veterans’ mega lottery winnings.

Dramatic Question: Can the old-time Veterans stop the Pirates and save their families?

Dilemma: Veterans can’t fight back, and find out the Pirates will blow up the ship anyway.

Theme: Sacrifice everything for the love of their families.

3. Structure:

9-Beat Structure:
1. Opening: The 4 Veterans attend a military funeral, along with other Veterans from the retirement home. Melvin’s military wife died. He wants to join her.

On the veterans’ retirement – the 4 Veterans are poor, do chores around the retirement home for extra cash. They help older veterans do things. They polish the war memorial cabinet display’s items, such as war medal, plaques, photos, etc. Take care of the animals on the country retirement home (for free). They entertain other veterans’ grandchildren with the animals, such as milking the cows, picking up eggs like an egg hunt, etc. Others enjoy the good life.

Their extended families can’t visit since they live far away, and can’t afford it. They see other veterans’ extended families come visit, especially at dinnertime. They skype, zoom Facetime, etc. their own extended families, but keep it short since Internet costs extra.

In Hawaii, a small cruise ship, Coral Tranquillity, is docked. Being decommissioned. Remove armoury in the security room and on the bridge. One crew member, Crew X, gets fired by a phone call in the crew bedroom. Crew X makes a phone call. Face hidden. Another crew member, Crew Z, welds a panel back, appears to fix a hole. Has a welding mask on. Many empty water proof bags nearby.

In a poor seaside village in South-East Asia. Pirate posing as people smugglers gather Refugees to sail to Australia.

A new administration team at the veterans’ retirement kicks the 4 Veterans out, due to veterans needing to partially pay for their stay, no longer fully subsidized. Toss out their belongings onto the country dirt road.

2. Inciting Incident: That night, the 4 Veterans gather in front of the TV, watch the mega lottery draw. Win! A nice reversal, especially as they pick up their belongings tossed on the road, and go back to their bedrooms.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: They win, call their extended families to invite them on a trip of a lifetime, an around the world cruise. It’s summer, so most can go.

Some old timers (with spouses) return from a wonderful cruise (with their extended families), and say they can’t wait until the next time cruise – they feel young, revigorated, full of life.

The 4 Veterans get their photo taken with the big mega lottery cheque. They go online and buy an old, second-hand small cruise ship (99 passengers cruise ship), Coral Tranquillity. It was going off to India to be sold as scrap metal (it’s the graveyard for delisted ships). Although they won the mega lottery, they are still cautious with their money.

All families arrive, embark. Depart Hawaii. Families check out the entire cruise ship. The cruise ship has many problems, this and that malfunctions on the cruise ship. Everyone helps fix the ship as they sail. Including the crew. Families and crew get along, become friends, including Crew X and Crew Z (we don’t know their faces, yet).

Somewhere between Hawaii and The Philippines, they anchor nearby an uninhabited island. Crew X makes another phone call. Face hidden.

Two Veterans and Families enjoy a day at the lagoon. They have 4 jet skis and pull floating dinghies. Others stay behind to fix the cruise ship.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Veterans spot 2 boats waving for help.

Pirates and Families of Refugees board the cruise ship. On each boat, 4 Pirates and several Refugees. There is a Pirate leader for each of the boats. Pirates pretend to seek refuge on the cruise ship. Veterans and their Families welcome and take care of them. Offer food and drinks. All the younger Pirates drink hard lemonade, get tipsy.

The hijack begins. Pirates turn the tables and bring out their guns, demand ransom money, to be transferred on their laptop. They break the ship’s radio so the Veterans can’t call for help. One Pirate and his crew go down below. A fight ensues between one Pirate and his crew and the Veterans and Families, but the Veterans and Families give up. Refugee Families huddle with the Veterans and their Families.

Down below, Crew Z, un-welds the panel that was welded before. Takes out bricks of duck-taped cocaine. Puts them into the water proof bags. Pirate and his crew enter, and take the bags.

During the fight, the Pirates had shot everywhere on the ship, and it starts to sink (although, no one knows it just yet).

One Veteran says there isn’t any money left since all the money went into buying the cruise ship. That Veteran agrees to give the Pirates the meagre ransom money, when a gun is pointed at a grandchild’s head. But, the bank details are in a suitcase in the luggage holding area, down below. The internet gets disabled by another Veteran across the cruise ship (on a tower). Ransom transfer gets disconnected. Lights out.

A crew member says there are more people at the lagoon. The gun shots alert the Veterans and Families in the lagoon. They go back on the 4 jet skis and floating dinghies. Half-way they get intercepted by one of the Pirate boats. A cat and mouse chase ensues. One Veteran uses a shark spear to damage the Pirate’s boat’s engine. A Pirate shoots a male Family’s calf. The 2 Veterans and Families give up. The Pirate’s boat is pulled back by 2 jet skis.

5. Mid-Point: A fight in the luggage holding area between the Pirates and the Veteran and some Family members. Shots are fired. Bullets hit inside the ship. Pirates gather the grandchildren as ransom.

When the blackout occurs, Families hide in various rooms since they know the layout of the ship. One of the Pirates is trying to fix the internet at the top of the ship. A fire breaks out in the engine room, due to a stray bullet. Some of the Pirates, Family members, and Refugees (not children) get injured, some Family members and Refugees die. One of the Family members is a doctor, takes care of the injured. Pirates load the waterproof bags onto the one good Pirate boat, and force one Refugee Family in.

Crew X identifies himself, and wants to go to Australia. He gets inside the boat. Pirates tell Crew Z to get inside the boat. She doesn’t want to go to Australia, she wants to go back to Thailand. A fight breaks out as the other Refugee Families wants to go to Australia, they paid good money.

Chaos. As everyone wants to get on the remaining Pirate boat.

The Pirates’ other boat gets sabotaged by a Veteran. Pirates can’t figure out how to release the ship’s tender boats into the water. Pirates find out that the Veterans had won the mega lottery (via a photo of them winning), so demand all of the money now.

Veterans overhear that one of the young Pirates is the son of one the Pirate leader’s. Veterans kidnap the son. The Veterans want their grandchildren back, and for the Pirates to leave. Veterans say they know how to release the ship’s tender boats

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The Pirates call for back-up on their radio. One of the crew members overhears the Pirates say they are going to kill everyone on the ship. Another boat comes with more Pirates. But, they fight amongst themselves.

Two Pirate groups against one Pirate group. The two groups want the mega lottery money. While the one group wants the Pirate’s leader’s son back. More fighting, more bullets go into the ship, more damage to the ship. One Veteran gets one of the Pirate’s radios. Ships starts sinking more.

7. Crisis: A blast in the engine room. A fire engulfs the ship. They all fight as the ship is sinking. Fight in submerged water. Veterans use shark spears, bowling balls, knives, flare guns, fire extinguishers, etc. (whatever is on the ship) to fight the Pirates. The Pirate on top of the ship has fixed the internet. One Veteran dies protecting a Refugee Family. One of the Veterans gets blackmailed, and tries to transfer the mega lottery money.

8. Climax: During the last final fight between the Veterans and the Pirates, Veterans go to rescue the grandchildren in the crew bunk bedroom. But, no children, no Pirates guarding them. Veterans search for the grandchildren. Finds them. One Veteran dies protecting the grandchildren. Two Veterans trap the Pirates in various rooms. They know which rooms have locks on the outside. Pirates run out of ammunition. The ship sinks with the Pirates still onboard in trapped rooms. They drown.

9. Resolution: Veterans, Families and Refugees get on the tender boats. One Veteran still has the Pirate’s radio and calls for help. A local fishing boat gets the call, and sends the alarm.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Likability/Empathy/Justification

Lesson 8: Why Do We Care?

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

This is a good lesson. I liked doing this. It was challenging. Finding out why we like the old timers. Besides being a hero. I had to come up with others ideas. The FIRST ACT scenarios for my story aren’t Action related. Wondering if I should make the Pirates attack the cruise ship earlier (currently, at the FIRST ACT turning point)? Still figuring this all out. Right now, it’s all at the Veterans’ retirement home.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Brainstorm answers to Likability/ Empathy/ Distress/ Justified for your Hero.

LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY

A. Other
people like or respect the character – 4 Veterans are friendly towards the
other Veterans at the retirement home. Other Veterans’ families also know
these 4 Veterans. <div>

B. The
character shows love for something – 4 Veterans help keep the war memorial
display unit nice. Dust-free, polish the war medals, photos, plaques, etc.

C. They’re
trying to do something good – each saves money they made not on recreation,
but to give back to the retirement home, maybe help each other, i.e., new
hearing aids.

D. Save the
cat — rescue or do something good for someone else – help the other
Veterans with their recreational activities. Such as a fallen Veteran on a
bicycle.

E. Funny,
humorous, witty – 4 Veterans teach other grandchildren on the farm, have
fun.

F. Kindness –
4 Veterans take care of the animals at the country retirement home,
without pay.

G. Good moral
decisions and actions. Being on the right side – 4 Veterans help the older
Veterans live daily lives.

EMPATHY / DISTRESS

A. Undeserved misfortune- 4
Veterans are poor, can’t afford the retirement home activities, which cost
extra. So, they do chores around the place for extra money. </div><div>

B. External
Character conflicts – each Veteran is declining in health in some way.
They come back from a funeral, another Veteran at the retirement home
dies. Their time is running out, too. Notice of about retirement home
re-organization. Veterans who can’t pay will be kicked out.

C. Plot
intruding on life – Veterans’ families are far away. So, families don’t
visit. Other Veterans have families come and visit. They miss their
families, do skype, zoom, Facetime, etc.

D. Moral
dilemmas – Can they continue life on the veterans’ retirement home as second-class
citizens (due to not having enough money)?

E. Forced
decisions they’d never make – Veterans give their all in the retirement
home, but now they are being kicked out soon with no where to go. Do they
rebel?

F. Wound
attacked – Retirement home will kick out some Veterans (our protagonists) due
to money issues. A kick in the gut for War Veterans who have no money.

JUSTIFICATION

A. The
character or their family abused – 4 Veterans are told to leave. Their
government discards them.

B. Threatened by others – Administration team warns the 4 Veterans they have one week to pack up.

C. The Hero is the victim of attacks – 4 Veterans refuse to leave, they are locked out of their bedrooms.

D. They’ve suffered major losses – health problems, financial problems, family can’t visit them, etc.

E. The Villain or their representatives have trespassed – Administration team toss out their belongings onto the road.

Scenes to Keep:

Veterans to be kicked out. So, when they win the mega lottery, it’s a nice reversal.

I liked some of the other scenes, i.e., polishing war medals.

</div>

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee’s 1<sup style=”font-family: inherit;”>st</sup> Pass

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 7

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

It’s ok if not all the pieces are there. We’ll improve, and flesh out the story during the 10 passes of our outline. I keep revising the particulars as I progress and learn. I remind myself that bad writing is acceptable. Just write.

“What plot events would naturally fit into this structure?”

1. Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

2. Plot/Plot Summary:

Escape:
Your hero is confined against his will (often unjustly) and wants to escape. In this case, the hero is the victim. The natural progression: imprisonment, initial attempts to escape fail, new plan is made that is also thwarted, and finally, the actual escape.

3. Structure:

9-Beat Structure:
1. Opening: The group of four old timers at the veterans retirement gather in front of the TV, watch the mega lottery draw. Some old timers (with spouses) return from a wonderful cruise (with their extended families), and say they can’t wait until the next time cruise – they feel young, revigorated, full of life. The group of four win the mega lottery that night.

2. Inciting Incident: They buy an old, second-hand small cruise ship (99 passengers cruise ship). It was going off to India to be sold as scrap metal (it’s the graveyard for delisted ships). Although they won the mega lottery, they are still cautious with their money. Note: When the Veterans buy the cruise ship, it doesn’t have an armoury with guns and ammunition.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: They call their extended families to invite them on a trip of a lifetime, an around the world cruise.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: The four Veterans and their extended families are cruising out of Hawaii. But, one of the cruise ship crew members calls the Pirates in the South-East Asia area about their cruise ship and saying they should kidnap these old timers for easy ransom money. There are two boats, with 5 Pirates each. There is a Pirate leader for each of the boats. The Pirates pretend to seek refuge on the cruise ship. The Veterans and their families welcome and take care of the Pirates. Some of the Veterans and families are swimming nearby. Then, the Pirates turn the tables and bring out their guns, kidnap the grandchildren, demand money. They break the ship’s radio so the Veterans can’t call for help. A fight ensues, but the Veterans give up. During the fight, the Pirates had shot everywhere on the ship, and it starts to sink (although, no one knows it just yet). Agree to give the Pirates the ransom money. But, the internet gets disabled by one of the Veterans.

5. Mid-Point: One of the Pirates is trying to fix the internet at the top of the ship. Families hide in various rooms since they know the layout of the ship. A mini-fire breaks out in the engine room, due to a stray bullet. Some of the Pirates and Family members (not children) get injured, some die. One of the Family members is a doctor, and takes care of the injured. The Pirates’ two boats had been sabotaged. They can’t figure out how to release the ship’s tender boats to the water. The Pirates find out that the Veterans had won the mega lottery, so demand all of the money now.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The Veterans overhear that one of the young Pirates is the son of one the Pirate leader’s. The Veterans kidnap the son. The Veterans want their grandchildren back, and for the Pirates to leave. The Veterans say they know how to release the ship’s tender boats. The Pirates call for back-up. One of the crew members overhears the Pirates say they are going to kill everyone on the ship. Another boat comes with more Pirates. But, they fight amongst themselves. Two groups against one group. The two groups want the money. While the one group wants the Pirate’s leader’s son back. More fighting, more bullets go into the ship, more damage to the ship. One Veteran gets one of the Pirate’s radios.

7. Crisis: A blast in the engine room. A fire engulfs the ship. They all fight as the ship is sinking. Fight in submerged water. The Veterans use shark spears, bowling balls, knives, flare guns, fire extinguishers, etc. (whatever is on the ship) to fight the Pirates. The Pirate on top of the ship has fixed the internet. One of the Veterans gets blackmailed, and tries to transfer the money.

8. Climax: During the last final fight between the Veterans and the Pirates, the Veterans trap the Pirates in various rooms. They know which rooms have locks on the outside. The Pirates run out of ammunition. The ship sinks with the Pirates still onboard in trapped rooms. They drown.

9. Resolution: Veterans and families get on the tender boats. One Veteran still had the Pirate’s radio and calls for help. A local fishing boat gets the call, and sends the alarm.

4. Protagonist Character Arc:

THE CHARACTER ARC QUESTION

The 4 Veterans are stuck, depressed, at a veterans’ retirement home, without any money, then they live their real-purpose-life when they have to save their families from the Pirates.

Part to be changed: All four Veterans are depressed, lost their spouses, all fought in losing wars. Biggest fear: Never seeing victory, and their families don’t visit because they are poor, too.

Completion of arc: They save their families from the Pirates on the cruise ship.

5. Plot in Structure:

OPENING SCENE:

The 4 Veterans at the retirement home, doing chores, to make extra money.

EXT./ INT. VETERANS’ RETIREMENT HOME – DAY

The 4 Veterans do chores. Others enjoy the good life.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

A small cruise ship, Coral Tranquillity, is docked at a port in Hawaii. Being decommissioned.

EXT. COASTAL VILLAGE – DAY

Seaside village in South-East Asia. A Pirate leader gets refugees to sail to Australia.

INT. VETERANS’ RETIREMENT HOME – NIGHT

They gather in front of the TV, watch the mega lottery draw. Win!

INT. LOTTERY OFFICE – DAY

They get their photo taken with the big cheque.

INCITING INCIDENT:

They buy a cruise ship.

INT. VETERANS’ RETIREMENT HOME – DAY

They check online, buy a cruise ship. Call their families, invite them to go on a world cruise.

EXT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

All families arrive, embark. Depart Hawaii.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

All check out the cruise ship. Faults and all.

EXT. LAGOON – DAY

2 Veterans and Families enjoy a day at the lagoon.

FIRST ACT TURNING POINT:

The Pirates and Refugees board the cruise ship.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

The 2 Veterans and Families spot a refugee boat. The Pirates and Refugees board the cruise ship. After eating and drinking, the Pirates hijack the cruise ship. They want a ransom. One Veteran causes a fight, causes a Pirate to shoot his gun. Pirates find out others are at the lagoon.

EXT. LAGOON – DAY

One Pirate boat chases the 2 Veterans and Families on jet skis and floating dinghies.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

Pirates break the ship’s radio. One Veteran starts making a money transfer. Internet goes down. Lights out in the luggage holding area. A fight. Bullets hit inside ship.

MID-POINT:

Pirates gather the grandchildren as ransom. Families hide throughout the ship.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

A fire in the engine room. Pirates find out about the Veterans winning the mega lottery. Pirates want all the money. Pirates’ boats are sabotaged. Pirates can’t get the tender boat released. Veterans kidnap a Pirate’s son. Ship is sinking.

SECOND ACT TURNING POINT:

Pirates radio for reinforcements.

EXT. PIRATE BOAT – DAY

Another pirate boat arrives.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

Veterans scatter. A fight between the various Pirates. Veterans make a plan. On Veteran dies.

CRISIS:

A blast in the engine room. A fire engulfs the ship.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

They all fight as the ship is sinking. Fight in submerged water. One veteran dies. The Pirate on top of the ship has fixed the internet. A Veteran gets blackmailed, transfers the money (or not).

CLIMAX:

Final fight.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY

Grandchildren are saved. Veterans trap the Pirates in various rooms. The Pirates run out of ammunition. The ship sinks with the Pirates still onboard in trapped rooms. They drown.

RESOLUTION:

Families get off ship.

EXT./ INT. CRUISE SHIP – DAY
Veterans
and families get on the tender boats. One Veteran still had the Pirate’s radio
and calls for help. A local fishing boat gets the call, sends the alarm.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee’s Favorite Movie Outline

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 6

Intro to Basic Structure

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

This assignment took almost a week. I understand we were only given 2 days. No matter. I believe in Hal’s expert modelling. I realized I needed to understand on a deeper level about this lesson/ exercise. I totally unpacked Die Hard, against the movie, with Hal’s scene outline. Since I was already behind, I didn’t read the Die Hard screenplay. For Captain Phillips, I watched the movie, the extras, director’s commentary, did the scene outline as per Hal’s example of Die Hard. I resisted reading the screenplay. Have downloaded it, will read it later. While doing all this, I came up with 2 more twists for my own story.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Outline of Captain Phillips (from the movie)

Dramatic Question: Can Captain Phillips survive his kidnapping?

Main Conflict: Somalian pirates hijack a cargo ship, then kidnap Captain Phillips.

Dilemma: Can Captain Phillips save his crew, and then, later stay alive on the tender boat?
Theme: Life between a rich country and a poor country as the Somalian pirates have to no choice but to kidnap a cargo ship for ransom money.

OUTLINE OF CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

Written by Billy Ray

Note: This movie had a ton of intercuts between scenes lasting a few seconds, even a few words. Most of the scenes are grouped together with ‘intercut’.

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

Rural house.

Super: Underhill, Vermont

INT. HOUSE – DAY

Super: March 28, 2009

Captain Phillips (C.P.) prepares for his assignment, Maersk Shipping. Wife appears.

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

C.P. packs up car. Wife comes out of the house.

EXT. CAR – DAY

Moving. On highway. C.P. and Wife drive to the airport.

EXT. CAR – DAY

Moving. Captain Phillips and Wife drive to the airport.

EXT. AIRPORT – DAY

C.P. gets out, takes luggage out. They kiss. Wife drives off.

EXT. COASTAL DESERT TOWN – DAY

Super: Eyl, Somalia

Life in a coastal village. Men greet SUVs.

INT. HUT – DAY

A child wakes up Musi. Main Pirate leader.

EXT. COASTAL DESERT TOWN – DAY

Musi gathers with other men/elders. SUV leaders demand they work. Musi picks his boat team. Picks 1 Strong Man not from his village, other 2 are from his village (Teenager and Driver). Rival Pirate leader does the same.

2 skiffs set off. Arrive at the pirate mother ship on the ocean.

EXT. PORT – DAY

Super: Salalah Port, Oman

Cargo shipping containers at the busy port.

INT. CAR – DAY

Moving. C.P. gets to the port.

EXT. PORT – DAY

C.P. looks up at the cargo ship, Maersk Alabama, goes onboard, checks safety gates. Not locked.

INT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

C.P. goes to his captain’s quarters. To the Bridge. Meets the bridge crew. Goes over map of route with Shane Murphy, 2nd in command. On map: Somali Basin

EXT. PORT – DAY

Cargo ship leaves dock. Intercut with bridge, other sections of the cargo ship, cargo ship leaving dock.

INT. ENGINE ROOM – DAY

Engineer checks dials.

EXT. OCEAN – DAY

Cargo ship cruising the open waters.

EXT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

Next day. C.P. walks around cargo ship, checks safety on cargo ship.

INT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

C.P. goes to the lunch room. Tells crew breakfast/coffee is over.

EXT./ INT. PIRATE MOTHER SHIP – DAY

Pirates look at radar for a cargo ship to attack.

INT. CAPTAIN PHLLIPS’ OFFICE – DAY

C.P. on computer, reads pirate alerts.

INT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

C.P. on bridge. Orders a practice safety drill. Crew get ready for drill (both INT. and EXT.) Intercut C.P. on bridge. During drill, C.P. spots 2 skiffs on the radar closing in. C.P. checks with binoculars.

Murphy comes to bridge. Intercut with engine room. Engineer says ok to speed up. Radar shows 2 skiffs still coming. Drill becomes real.

Intercut with crew, engineer, bridge. Turns cargo ship, 2 skiffs still there. Discuss. Call the…

INT. UK OPERATIONS CENTRE – DAY

Super: UK Maritime Trade Operations – Dubai

Intercut with UK centre and bridge. No immediate help.

EXT. 2 PIRATE SKIFFS – DAY

Musi and Rival on 2 skiffs, motor to the cargo ship. Cargo ship manoeuvres, causes waves.

INT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

Bridge discussion. Intercut with engineer, pirate skiffs. Musi tells his team about making money. C.P. thinks of what to do. Fakes a call to the coast authorities. Coast authorities say they will dispatch help.

Pirates listen on their radios. Rival’s skiff turns back. Intercut with mother pirate ship. They listen to the radio. Musi keeps going. Pirate mother ship looks for any planes.

Radar shows 1 skiff still coming. Engineer says ok to speed up. Musi asks for more speed of his skiff. Cargo ship engines are doing almost max. Musi gets closer. Skiff engine fails. Cargo ship keeps going. C.P. and Musi look at each other through binoculars.

INT. CARGO SHIP – NIGHT

Lunch room meeting. Crew are upset about pirates. C.P. tells them they signed up for this.

INT. CAPTAIN PHLLIPS’ OFFICE – NIGHT

C.P. emails home. Tells Wife everything is fine.

EXT. PIRATE MOTHER SHIP – NIGHT

Musi and Rival get into a fight about Rival turning back. Rival points a gun at Musi’s head. Musi hits him with a wrench, kills him. Musi gets both engines. His crew fixes his own motor. Elder doesn’t stop Musi.

INT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

C.P. gets ready. Races to bridge. Skiff comes back, with 2 engines. Intercut with bridge, crew gets ready for attack. Engineer says oks to speed up the engines. Intercut with Musi and his skiff. Looks at the cargo ship. On bridge – C.P. makes a call…

INT. US OPERATIONS CENTRE – DAY

Super: US Maritime Emergency Line, Northwood, UK

Intercut with operations centre. Cargo ship radar shows skiff is close.

INT. CARGO SHIP – DAY

Intercut with Musi, radios cargo ship – stop cargo ship, give up. C.P. turns cargo ship. Musi and crew see cargo ship not stopping. Shoot at cargo ship. Cargo ship starts the water hoses, water shoots down. Musi keeps shooting.

One water hose is broken. Murphy goes to fix it. C.P. get the flare guns. Shoots at the skiff. Musi turns skiff away from flare. Murphy tries to fix the fire hose. Gets shot at. Musi and crew get ladder ready to board cargo ship. Murphy retreats.

C.P. turns the cargo ship, to escape Musi’s skiff. They hook up the ladder. Board the cargo ship. C.P. radios his crew to go to down below and hide.

Musi shoots at C.P. Engineer stops cargo ship, like it’s broken. Musi and crew to go the bridge. C.P. radios the crew in the engine room.

Musi and crew enter bridge. Musi wants all the cargo ship’s crew member and a ransom. C.P. says he doesn’t know where his crew are. Talks to Musi, says it’s only a business negotiation.

Crew hides deeper into the engine room. Musi pushes buttons, to control the bridge, fails.

Musi and the Strong Man are at odds. On loudspeaker, C.P. first, then, Musi threatens to kill.

C.P. tries to calm Musi, as a gun in pointed at a Crew Member’s head. C.P. says to shoot him instead. C.P. keeps talking as the radio/walkie talkie is still on, crew in engine room can hear.

Crew discuss the situation. C.P. takes Musi and the Teenager down below. In a maze. Not to the engine room. Murphy goes to the food storage area. C.P. takes Musi and Teenager there. Musi sees the cargo ship map, wants to go to the engine room.

Murphy gets water bottles. Hears them coming. Hides in the back freezer. C.P. stalls Musi with water bottles. They go into the freezer. C.P. sees Murphy hiding.

C.P. says the Teenager has bare feet. C.P. gets food out. Murphy leaves freezer, radios the engine room. Get broken glass by the door entrance to the engine room.

On bridge. Two Pirates remain with two cargo ship crew. Engineer goes to the upper deck (to shut down lights). In engine room, the Teenager cuts feet on the broken glass. C.P., Musi and Teenager go further into the engine room. Crew hide below.

Strong Man goes outside, looks at deck below. Engineer gets to the room to turn off lights. C.P., Musi and the Teenager go further down into the engine room. C.P. says the Teenager is hurt, needs attention. Lights go out.

Strong Man goes below another deck, Engineer goes behind a door. C.P. keeps saying the Teenager’s feet needs attention. A first aid kit is on the bridge. They go. Musi by himself.

On bridge, 2 crew are still held captive. Engine room, Musi checks it out with a flashlight. Goes down further. Crew attack him. Musi cuts his hand on a knife.

Teenager and C.P. on bridge. Radio broadcasts the fight in the engine room. Musi talks in the radio. Wants his pirate crew to rescue him.

C.P. radios his crew and Musi. The ransom money isn’t enough, but gives it to them anyway, $30,000. Negotiates an exchange. Go on the cargo ship’s tender boat. Pirates force C.P. into the boat. Musi gets inside the tender boat.

INT. TENDER BOAT – DAY

C.P. tells Driver how to steer. They kidnap C.P. Tender boat launches into the water.

EXT. WAR SHIP – DAY

Big war ship on the ocean.

Super: USS Bainbridge, Assigned to Counter – Piracy Task Force 151

INT. WAR SHIP – DAY

Commander hears the pirate attack situation. Redirects war ship to the Maersk Alabama.

INT. TENDER BOAT – NIGHT

C.P. and the pirates. Musi radios the pirate mother ship. No answer. His hand gets worse. Crew don’t get along. Discuss situation. Opens door. Maersk Alabama follow them.

INT. CARGO SHIP – NIGHT

Murphy and crew follow the tender boat.

INT. TENDER BOAT – DAY

C.P. wakes up. Travelled all night. Crew are upset. Musi counts the money. He’s not well. Hand cut, a fever develops. Teenager’s feet needs attention. C.P. gets the first aid kit. Fixes the Teenager’s feet.

EXT. TENDER BOAT – DAY

Drone circles overhear. War ship motors towards them.

INT. WAR SHIP – DAY

Navy plots on radar. Commander talks to his crew, pirates’ profiles on the computer. Tender boat doesn’t get to Somalia. His orders – Stop it by all means.

INT. TENDER BOAT – DAY

Everyone is exhausted. Pirates run out of khat plant (like a drug for seasickness, getting high.) C.P. asks for water. Teenager gives it to him. Crew is upset. Strong Man takes the water away. Musi radios the pirate mother ship. No answer. More discussion. Cargo ship follows. Pirate mother ship has engine problems. Tells Musi to go to the port with C.P.

EXT. AIRPORT – DAY

Super: Seal Staging Base – Virginia

SUVs drive to an army plane. Navy Seals get on the plane.

INT. TENDER BOAT – DAY

Musi’s hand gets worse. Driver smashes window on his driver’s side (for fresh air). It’s boiling inside the tender boat. Water runs out. More discussion. A fight between Musi and Strong Man.

A horn blasts. Intercut with tender boat. Musi opens door, sees the war ship. C.P. sees it. Pirates tie the door. War ship radios the tender boat. Demanding C.P. back. Musi talks back.

A navy person who can speak Somalian talks to Musi, about getting them water and food. Military men board the cargo ship. They will guide it to another port. Cargo ship leaves.

War ship sets up 2 war ship boats, motor to the tender boat. With military and the navy interpreter. Musi says cargo ship is leaving to C.P.

2 war ship boats go the tender boat. Musi opens up. Interpreter talks. Also filming it. A discussion. They ask to see C.P. who says he is in seat 15.

A gun is fired on the tender boat. 2 war ship boats go back to the war ship. Musi fights with the Strong Man. Radio between Musi and the Commander. C.P. says he is ok on the radio.

Another 2 war ships arrive. On tender boat, more discussion. Musi, crew and C.P. see the 3 war ships now. Tie the door. C.P. talks to Musi about giving up. On war ship, Commander gets call. Under deadline. Can’t let tender boat get to Somalia.

EXT. PLANE – NIGHT

Navy Seals jump out, parachute towards the 3 war ships.

INT. TENDER BOAT – NIGHT

Crew is exhausted. Teenager opens door. C.P. needs go to the bathroom. He pushes the Teenage off. C.P. dives into the water to escape. Musi jumps in. He gets C.P., they fight in the water.

Intercut with Navy Seals parachuting over the 3 war ships. All fast intercuts below. On war ship, navy crew sees 2 people in the water. They don’t shoot, unsure if it’s C.P. or not.

Strong Man shoots at C.P. in the water. C.P. Gives up escaping. Pirates get C.P. Back into the tender boat. Navy Seals in the water. Commander sees C.P. is back in Musi’s control. Navy Seals get on the war ship. Strong Man beats C.P. Musi stops the Strong Man.

A helicopter shines a light over the tender boat. Military Negotiator takes over from the Commander. Musi and the Strong Man are upset at each other. Military Negotiator radios Musi. Musi holds a gun to C.P.’s head.

Musi shoots at the helicopter. It leaves the tender boat. Helicopter comes back. Musi radios the Military Negotiator. Threatens C.P. Makes C.P. talk to the Military Negotiator. Musi talks to the Military Negotiator.

Military Negotiator knows all their names. Musi’s crew are upset, shocked. Negotiate a deal. Musi has a gun to C.P.’s head. Navy Seals get ready on the war ship. Test out weapons.

On the tender boat, C.P. and Musi discuss more, about their situation, their dilemmas. Musi says the statement about their differences, “Maybe in America.”

On war ship’s loudspeaker, war ship boat asks to see C.P. He says he’s ok. A listening device is attached on the side of the tender boat. Military says that they have negotiated with Musi’s elders about the ransom money. Musi needs to come back to the war ship with them.

They will tow the tender boat towards the war ship. Military gives C.P. a t-shirt to wear, stay in seat 15. Musi agrees to go back to the war ship. War ship boat leaves. War ship devise their next strategies. Musi gets on the war ship. He questions where the elders are. They tell him lies.

In the tender boat, they wait. Navy Seals get in position at the back of the war ship. Wait for tender boat to come closer. Project bright lights at the tender boat (for the Navy Seals).

Strong Man radios the war ship. Military says they need the lights to pull the tender boat closer to the war ship. Navy Seals now in position, can see the tender boat, the crew inside. Navy Seals need the tender boat to be closer. Navy Seals don’t have 3 green targets (3 clear shots) on the 3 Somalians.

C.P. puts on the t-shirt. Still no 3 green light targets. Helicopter overhead. Driver has to keep tender boat straight, towards the war ship. Tender boat is too rocky (big waves from other 2 war ships). 2 other war ships go back.

Radios in to the war ship. Driver not steering straight. C.P. grabs a pen, writes a note to his family. Military Negotiator radios the Strong Man about the towing. Commander says to tow faster. Navy Seals ready, but no 3 green targets. Tender boat gets closer.

Strong Man takes notes from C.P. Snipers ready. Not 3 green targets. Strong Man wonders where elders are. C.P. attacks the Strong Man. War ship hears the fighting going on via the listening device on the tender boat. C.P. seems to get the better of the Strong Man.

Teenager hits C.P. Strong Man ties C.P. up close to the Driver. Arms up high. Military Negotiator radios the tender boat, if you harm the hostage, no deal. Strong Man beats C.P. with a rifle. Military Negotiator yells for C.P. to find out if he is ok. No answer.

Tow tender boat faster. C.P. screams. Military Negotiator hears it. Teenager blindfolds C.P. He talks to the Teenager to stop, to give up. C.P. breaks down, cries, in panic. No 3 green targets. Teenager says not to kill C.P. to the Strong Man.

Strong Man says no one is coming, no elders will come. No 3 green targets. Strong Man knows the truth. They were ambushed, all die anyway. Strong Man points the gun at C.P.

Military Negotiator says “execute”. Navy Seals shoot 3 Somalians. C.P. is alive. Takes blindfold down, see dead Somalian. C.P. in shock. Cries. Military comes in from top of the tender boat. Get C.P. off the tender boat, onto the war ship boat.

EXT. WAR SHIP – DAY

Military take Musi down. C.P. boards the war ship boat. Navy Seals pack up. C.P. on war ship.

INT. WAR SHIP – DAY

Take C.P. to the infirmary. Musi is arrested. Realizes his ending. Told his 3 friends are dead. In the infirmary, C.P. gets checked over by the nurse/doctor. C.P. breaks down, cries. Not injured. They lie C.P. down on bed. Tow tender boat behind war ship. Other 2 war ships on the ocean.

Super: info of aftermath of C.P. and Musi

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Story Map

Lesson 7: Map Out Your Story

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

It’s not easy. Mapping all 3 tracks was an eye-opener. I noticed I don’t really have a lot Action in Act I. Then it’s all Action afterwards. A lot of it is overlapped between Villain and Action. I will try to figure out more stuff. Drill down. Dive deeper. Maybe the Veterans regroup, take a breather, re-strategize. Same as the Pirates.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Create the 3-Act structure for your story, with the 3 tracks.

Opening:

Villain 1: At a coastal village in South-East Asia, seaside market is packed, hustle and bustle of the start of the day. Fishing boats set off for the day. One fishing boat finds their fishing net has a giant hole, can’t go out. Everyone trying to make a living in a poor society. A Pirate leader makes an announcement about sailing to Australia (a call-out for refugees), standing on top of his boat. Only accepts cash.

Mission 1: In Hawaii, sirens sound at the busy marina/port (docked – several cruise ships, cargo ships, ferries, etc.). Customers disembark. Crew members pack up, disembark a small cruise ship. Armouries in the security centre and on the bridge are taken off the ship. A course is laid out for India, to the ship graveyard.

Villain 2: A crew member, Crew X, gets fired from the delisted cruise ship via telephone call in the crew bunk bed, won’t be reassigned to another one of the cruise ship company’s other cruise ships. Hide Crew X’s face. Disappears down below in the cruise ship.

Establish the Veteran retirement home. A country setting, with cottages near a big lake. Establish the 4 leads, the Veteran old timers, 2 males, 2 females (revised from 3 males, 1 female).

A montage –

Action 1: Mandy Rodriguez abseils from a cliff with one arm (only has one arm), sails down the rope faster than other Veterans with 2 arms.

Action 2: Harry Ford water skis, does tricks.

Action 3: Lucia Lu shoots clay pigeons, perfect shot, unlike the other Veterans.

Action 4: Melvin Freeman races a motorized dirt bike, wins against other Veterans.

Action 5: Others go fishing.

Action 6: Others go horseback riding.

Action 7: Others play tennis and/or badminton.

Action 8: The 4 Veterans play lawn bowls (as one team) with others.

Action 9: The 4 Veterans play paint ball (as one team) with others.

Mission 2: The 4 Veterans gather around TV at the retirement home. Watch the lottery winning numbers. They win. Other Veterans and their spouses return home from a cruise. They feel young, alive, refreshed. They can’t wait to go on their next cruise. Their adult children had paid for the cruises. The 4 Veterans have never gone on a cruise before, decide to cruise around the world, so decide to buy an old second-hand cruise ship.

Inciting Incident:

Mission 3: The 4 Veterans buy the old second-hand small cruise ship online, 100 passengers, at the last minute before it sails off to the ship graveyard in India. They call their Families, invite them on an around the world cruise trip. It’s the start of summer, so many Families can go.

Mission 4: A phone call on the cruise ship. Don’t sail off to India. Wait for the new owners.

Mission 5: The 4 Veterans and their Families arrive in Hawaii, get on the cruise ship. Meet the 12 skeleton ship crew. Check out the ship. Sail off.

Villain 3: Crew X blends in. Becomes the 13^th crew member. All crew members now wear casual clothes, no uniforms. Calls the Pirate leader, sailing into his area, attack the cruise ship for ransom (some Americans are the new owners).

Mission 6: They sail off Hawaii. Families enjoy the cruise ship, get to know the layout, all its quirks/ eccentricities/ malfunctions. A skeleton crew onboard.

Action 10: Ship is anchored near an uninhabited island/ lagoon. Two Veterans and Family members go to the lagoon – 4 jet skis pull 2 floatable dinghies with grandchildren. Enjoy activities in the lagoon. Water ski.

Villain 4: Crew X secretly signals their location to the Pirates.

First Turning Point at end of Act 1:

Villain 5: Two Pirate boats pretend to seek refuge. Two Pirate boat leaders, #1 and #2. The Veterans and Families let them onboard, take care of them.

Action 11: Once the Pirates have some food and drinks (including alcohol), they hijack the ship, take out their guns hidden under loose clothing.

Action 12: The Pirates torture one Family member. One of the Veterans tries to escape with some of the grandchildren, a Pirate tackles them. Makes one Pirate shoot his gun into the air. Alerts the People in the lagoon.

Action 13: The Pirates race with one boat to the lagoon. The Veterans and Family members hear the gun shot. Pack up. Race back to the boat. Encounter the Pirate. A chase scene. Jet skis branch off. Unleash the floating dinghies. The Pirate tries to shoot the jet ski, but hits one Family member in the calf. The Veteran uses a shark spear and hits the Pirate’s boat’s engine. But, they are overpowered due to the Pirates having guns. Give up. The Pirates use the jet ski to tow their boat back to the cruise ship.

Action 14: The Pirates demand ransom money. One Veteran starts transferring the money. They are in the luggage holding area. The internet is disabled by another Veteran on the chip’s tower. Lights go out. A fight. Shots get fired. Bullet holes throughout the ship. Start of ship sinking. More malfunctions within the ship. One Pirates goes up the ship’s internet pole, tries to fix it.

Mid-Point:

Action 15: The Pirates gather the grandchildren in the crew bunk rooms (away from future shooting). If the Pirates don’t get their ransom money, all the grandchildren will die. A fire engulfs the engine room. Another fight in the engine room. More bullet holes in the ship.

Second Turning Point at end of Act 2:

Action 16: One Pirate radios in for more back-up. Another Pirate boats comes with 3 more Pirates. The Pirates are told by Crew X that the Veterans had won the mega lottery in the USA. They now want all of the money. One Veteran overhears one of the two Pirate leaders has a son onboard. The Veterans kidnap that son. The ship takes on more water. A ticking clock of ship sinking. One Veteran dies trying to hold off a fight.

Crisis:

Action 17: The Veterans must rescue the grandchildren in the lower deck. They fight the Pirates. Find the crew bunk bed room. No grandchildren, no Pirates. They must go find the grandchildren. Earlier, Crew X took the grandchildren to a safer location.

Climax:

Action 18: As the Veterans race to find the grandchildren, they fight the Pirates in submerged water. More bullets create more damage within the ship. One Veteran dies, sacrifices their life, so others can get away.

Action 19: A fire blasts in the engine room. The ship tilts. People are underwater within the ship. The Veterans keep looking for the grandchildren. They lock the Pirates in various rooms that have locks on the outside, or have wonky locks.

Resolution:

Action 20: The 2 Veterans (2 got killed/ sacrificed their lives) get the grandchildren off the ship. They release the tender boats. The Veterans and Family get off the ship safely. An explosion on the ship. The Pirates drown in the ship, as it sinks from view. They use the Pirates radio, call for help. A local fishing boat hears it, sounds the alarm to the authorities.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Action Structure!

Lesson 6: Creating Your Action Structure

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Action movies have to start with Action. I had the Veterans sitting around a TV, watching them winning the lottery. Oops. I learned to establish the Veterans in Action scenes. Also, later 2 Veterans sacrifice their lives for their Families. This is still a work-in-progress. I will think of more stuff as I go along.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Create the 3-Act structure for your story.

Look through your three tracks (Mission, Villain, and Action) and find the points that could work for this structure.

Opening: Establish the veterans’ retirement home. A country setting like cottages near a big lake. Establish the 4 leads, the Veteran old timers, 2 males, 2 females (revised from 3 males, 1 female). Each doing an Action scene. Such as water-skiing, fishing, shooting clay pigeons, scuba diving, rock climbing, racing on motorized dirt bike, tennis, badminton, lawn bowling, regular bowling, archery, paint ball teams, horseback riding, some farm animals, etc. One Veteran fixes a motor (on bike, boat, etc.). Establish the South East Asian Pirates on an old fishing boat, fish escape through hole in net. Some other Veterans (and their spouses) come back from a cruise, they feel young, refreshed, can’t wait to go, again. [Their adult children had paid for those cruises.] The 4 Veterans have never been on a cruise before (so they are jealous). Their adult children are not rich. That night, they watch the lottery winning numbers announced. They win.

Inciting Incident: They buy the old second-hand small cruise ship, 100 passengers, at the last minute before it sails off to the ship graveyard in India. They call their Families, invite them on an around the world cruise trip. It’s the start of summer, so many Families can go.

First Turning Point at end of Act 1: They sail off Hawaii. Families enjoy the cruise ship, get to know the layout, all its quirks/ eccentricities/ malfunctions. A skeleton crew onboard. One of them calls the Pirates to let them know about the Families onboard. They are anchored. An uninhabited island with a lagoon nearby. Two Veterans and some Family members go by 4 jet skis, plus 2 dinghies pulled by jet skis. Two Pirate boats seek refuge. The Veterans and Families let them onboard, take care of them. Once the Pirates have some food and drinks (including alcohol), they hijack the ship. The Pirates torture one Family member. One of the Veterans tries to escape with some of the grandchildren, a Pirate tackles them. Makes one Pirate shoot his gun into the air. Alerts the People in the lagoon. The Pirates demand ransom money. One Veteran starts transferring the money. They are in the luggage holding area. The internet is disabled by another Veteran on the chip’s tower. Lights go out. A fight. Shots get fired. Bullet holes throughout the ship. Start of ship sinking. More malfunctions within the ship. One Pirates goes up the ship’s internet pole, tries to fix it.

Mid-Point: The Pirates gather the grandchildren in the crew bunk rooms (away from future shooting). If the Pirates don’t get their ransom money, all the grandchildren will die. A fire engulfs in the engine room. Another fight in the engine room.

Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: One Pirate radios in for more back-up. Another Pirate boats comes with 3 more Pirates. One Veteran overhears that one of the two Pirate leaders has a son onboard. The Veterans kidnap that son. The ship takes on more water. A ticking clock of ship sinking. One Veteran dies trying to hold off a fight.

Crisis: The Veterans must rescue the grandchildren in the lower deck. They fight the Pirates. Find the crew bunk bed room. No grandchildren, no Pirates. They must go find the grandchildren.

Climax: As the Veterans race to find the grandchildren, they fight the Pirates in submerged water. More bullets create more damage within the ship. One Veteran dies, sacrifices their life, so others can get away. A fire blasts in the engine room. The ship tilts. People are underwater within the ship. The Veterans keep looking for the grandchildren. They lock the Pirates in various rooms that have locks on the outside, or have wonky locks.

Resolution: The 2 Veterans (2 got killed/ sacrificed their lives) get the grandchildren off the ship. They release the tender boats. The Veterans and Family get off the ship safely. An explosion on the ship. The Pirates drown in the ship, as it sinks from view. They use the Pirates radio, call for help. A local fishing boat hears it, sounds the alarm to the authorities.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Action Track!

Lesson 5: Create Your Villain Track

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Don’t be afraid if you’ve never done an Action screenplay (or novel) before. Just do it, be average (or, even really bad), then improve, get better with Action scenes, more original, layer it more. I like the idea of examining the Purpose behind the Action. We don’t just write – now a fight scene happens in these next few pages. As I do these lessons (in both the PS80 and in the Action modules), I am coming up with clearer scenes, especially when it comes to Action. Interesting that it pushes my creative buttons, although I feel scared to deep dive. Afterwards, I feel elated I came up with something. Especially, something elevated. I’m very cautious I don’t want to exactly copy CAPTAIN PHILLIPS per se. I didn’t want the Pirates to attack the cruise ship. I had to think of another way.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Create a rough draft of your Action Track.

Answer the Action Questions:

A. Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up in this movie?

A chase scene throughout the ship. Fight scenes in various rooms (penthouse suite to the crew bunk rooms – where the grandchildren sleep), hallway, cafeteria/dining rooms & huge kitchens, bridge, engine room, luggage holding area, bowling alley, cinema, jump into the pool & fight, children’s day care, use zipline, a fight/chase on jet skis.

B. Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for this track?

All of them. Maybe more as I go along. It’s a cat and mouse game between the Pirates and the Veterans, throughout the cruise ship. When the Pirates realize some of the Veterans and the Family members aren’t on the cruise ship, they go looking for them in a nearby uninhabited lagoon. The Pirates use their boat to go to the lagoon. Gun shots on the cruise ship. The Veterans and the Family members hear this in the lagoon. They are on jet skis, and try to escape the Pirates chasing them. The Veterans have a shark spear, and use it to damage the Pirate’s boat. But, the Veterans and Family members are overtaken, due to the Pirates having guns. Maybe one Family member gets shot in the calf, so others stop. Pirates use the jet skis to get towed back to the cruise ship. No other ships in the area (to hear the gun shots), so the cruise ship won’t get help.

C. How can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act?

The cruise ship sails off of Hawaii, breaking down several times. The Veterans, Family members and crew fix it each time. They have fun on the cruise ship, so they explore the entire cruise ship, they all know the layout, its quirks/ malfunctions/ hidden areas/ etc. The Pirates pretend to need refuge late in the First Act. The Veterans and Family members rescue them. They get food and drinks (maybe alcohol?). That might be interesting if the younger Pirates had never had an alcoholic drink before. Maybe a hard lemonade, something like that. So, when they shoot, they don’t shoot straight, and mess up the cruise ship with bullet holes. At the First Act Turning point, the Pirates take over. Demand ransom money. They fire their guns into the air to get the attention of the Veterans and Family members, who are all having fun.

Suggested Scenes for Action:

Dangerous Situation: The Pirates take over the cruise ship. Siege begins. They take out their guns. One of the Veterans makes one Pirate shoot in the air, as a warning shot to alert the others in the lagoon. Pirates gather all the people on the cruise ship onto the deck. Demand money. That gun shot is heard in the lagoon (next scene). No one is on the bridge, since they are anchored, enjoying the holiday.

Purpose: The Pirates show their true colors, show their true nature, their mission. The Veterans are taken by surprise. The Pirates don’t know there are 4 Veterans onboard. They think it’s only Families having fun, and not skilled in fighting.

Escape/ Chase/ Pursuit: The Pirates chase some of the Veterans and Family members escaping jet skis in the lagoon. All this happens in the lagoon, before they get to the cruise ship.

Purpose: The Veterans will fight back, since all of the Veterans have seen action. Shows they use their imagination in using a shark spear in disabling the Pirate’s boat’s motor. Also, that Veteran is a good shot. The Pirates try to shoot the jet skis, but shoot one of the Family members in the calf by mistake. One Pirate boat down, one Family member injured.

Interrogation/ Torture: When the Pirates want the money transferred, the Veterans and Family members resist. They say they don’t have any money left. All their money went into buying the old cruise ship. The Pirates torture (beat him up with the butt of a rifle?) a Family member, a male middle-aged adult. One Veteran sees his mate nod across the ship via the window (or, the Veterans and Family members have their own walkie-talkies). Maybe, signal with Morse code somehow. He says he has a bit of money the Pirates can have, but his info is in his book in the luggage holding area. He starts the transfer on the Pirates laptop, but that Veteran not on the deck disables the internet (across the ship). The money transfer crashes before completed.

Purpose: The Pirates mean business. But, the Veterans can outmanoeuvre the Pirates, as the Pirates don’t know the old timers are Veterans. They don’t know Morse code.

Fight: When the Veteran disables the internet, he also inadvertently disconnects the power. Lights out in the luggage holding area. A fight between the Pirates and Veterans, and some adult Family members. The Pirates shoot at anything, including each other and Family members. The Pirates go to the bridge, shoot the radio. One of the Pirates kills the only pet, a Lab puppy, as it barks at the Pirate. He kills the puppy in front of the children. They run to the dead puppy.

Purpose: The Pirates now know the People on the cruise ship will fight back. They are dealing with smart People who will try to stop the Pirates. The Pirates shoot the radio, to stop the People calling for help.

Kidnap: The Pirates kidnap the grandchildren as collateral until the internet is fixed to do the ransom money transfer. They corral the grandchildren down below in the crew quarters, where the grandchildren were sleeping. A contained section. They are held by a younger Pirate, who drank hard lemonade, so is a bit tipsy.

Purpose: The grandchildren are safe together, away from future shooting.

Ambush: The Veterans overhear the Pirates talk, one of the younger Pirates is the son of one of the Pirate leaders. The Veterans group together as they are being held on the deck. They tackle three younger Pirates who are in charge of keeping the People together. (Also, these younger Pirates drank hard lemonade, and are not on top of their game.) The Family members scatter, run down below to safe hiding places. Two Pirates die. Kidnap the Pirate’s son. Use that radio to announce the Veterans now have a Pirate member.

Purpose: Even the stakes. The Veterans now add a wrench into the Pirates’ plan, which causes a fracture within the Pirate group.

Dangerous Situation: The two Pirate leaders now fight. One wants to rescue his son. The other still wants the ransom money. The Pirate leader says to the Veterans, he will give up in exchange for his son back. The Veterans say they also want the guns. The Pirate leader says ok. The Veterans say the son is tied up down below, in the engine room. The son is unconscious, so can’t yell for help. The Veterans attack the Pirate leader and his remaining followers. All fight. The Pirates shoot throughout the engine room. A mini-fire erupts. The Veterans take the guns. Also, the ship starts to sink. It takes on water.

Purpose: The Veterans have some guns. One Pirate group has been disabled.

Discovery/ Dangerous Situation: The Pirates discover the Veterans won the mega lottery. They radio for back-up on their own radio. Another Pirate boat arrives, 3 more Pirates. Meanwhile, one of the Pirates had climbed up to the ship’s antennae, tried to fix the internet. And/or, try to set up their own internet device. The internet is back up. The ransom money is now the entire mega lottery winnings. One Veteran has a gun to his head. He starts typing, but fakes a heart attack (his bad ticker of an artificial heart). One Pirate shoots a crew member (crew members are in everyday clothes, no uniforms). Frantic chaos. A fight ensues. One Veteran had a gun in his sock. Shoots the lights out.

Purpose: The stakes are life and death now. The Veterans will lose everything.

Shootout/ Rescue: When the Veterans fight off the Pirates in the lower hulls. With guns. In and out of various rooms and sections. Ship sinks more. More water in the ship. The Veterans run to the crew bunk bed area. Burst through the doors. No Pirates, no grandchildren. They go searching for them.

Purpose: The Veterans main concern at this point is the grandchildren as the cruise ship is sinking.

Shootout/ Escape: The Veterans find the grandchildren. Race them up to the decks. Then, go back down to fight the Pirates more. They lock them in various rooms. An explosion in the engine room. The ship sinks more. The Veterans and their Families escape by lowering the tender boats just in time.

The ship sinks. The Pirates drown.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

[ProSeries #80] Suya Lee’s Basic Structure!

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 5

Intro to Basic Structure

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Although there are a lot of screenwriting templates out there, Hollywood still works in the 3 Act structure. I have used a lot of the templates to write other stuff. They give you different ideas, and ways to structuring the story. I am also doing the Action module, and I seem to refer back to that, too. Maybe, this is very much Action-focused, and will improve the outline as I go along.

Logline:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

9-Beat Structure:

1. Opening: The group of four old timers at the veterans retirement gather in front of the TV, watch the mega lottery draw. Some old timers (with spouses) return from a wonderful cruise (with their extended families), and say they can’t wait until the next time cruise – they feel young, revigorated, full of life. The group of four win the mega lottery that night.

2. Inciting Incident: They buy an old, second-hand small cruise ship (99 passengers cruise ship). It was going off to India to be sold as scrap metal (it’s the graveyard for delisted ships). Although they won the mega lottery, they are still cautious with their money. Note: When the Veterans buy the cruise ship, it doesn’t have an armoury with guns and ammunition.

3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: They call their extended families to invite them on a trip of a lifetime, an around the world cruise.

4. First turning point at end of Act 1: The four Veterans and their extended families are cruising out of Hawaii. But, one of the cruise ship crew members calls the Pirates in the South-East Asia area about their cruise ship and saying they should kidnap these old timers for easy ransom money. There are two boats, with 5 Pirates each. There is a Pirate leader for each of the boats. The Pirates pretend to seek refuge on the cruise ship. The Veterans and their families welcome and take care of the Pirates. Some of the Veterans and families are swimming nearby. Then, the Pirates turn the tables and bring out their guns, kidnap the grandchildren, demand money. They break the ship’s radio so the Veterans can’t call for help. A fight ensues, but the Veterans give up. During the fight, the Pirates had shot everywhere on the ship, and it starts to sink (although, no one knows it just yet). Agree to give the Pirates the ransom money. But, the internet gets disabled by one of the Veterans.

5. Mid-Point: One of the Pirates is trying to fix the internet at the top of the ship. Families hide in various rooms since they know the layout of the ship. A mini-fire breaks out in the engine room, due to a stray bullet. Some of the Pirates and Family members (not children) get injured, some die. One of the Family members is a doctor, and takes care of the injured. The Pirates’ two boats had been sabotaged. They can’t figure out how to release the ship’s tender boats to the water. The Pirates find out that the Veterans had won the mega lottery, so demand all of the money now.

6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The Veterans overhear that one of the young Pirates is the son of one the Pirate leader’s. The Veterans kidnap the son. The Veterans want their grandchildren back, and for the Pirates to leave. The Veterans say they know how to release the ship’s tender boats. The Pirates call for back-up. One of the crew members overhears the Pirates say they are going to kill everyone on the ship. Another boat comes with more Pirates. But, they fight amongst themselves. Two groups against one group. The two groups want the money. While the one group wants the Pirate’s leader’s son back. More fighting, more bullets go into the ship, more damage to the ship. One Veteran gets one of the Pirate’s radios.

7. Crisis: A blast in the engine room. A fire engulfs the ship. They all fight as the ship is sinking. Fight in submerged water. The Veterans use shark spears, bowling balls, knives, flare guns, fire extinguishers, etc. (whatever is on the ship) to fight the Pirates. The Pirate on top of the ship has fixed the internet. One of the Veterans gets blackmailed, and tries to transfer the money.

8. Climax: During the last final fight between the Veterans and the Pirates, the Veterans trap the Pirates in various rooms. They know which rooms have locks on the outside. The Pirates run out of ammunition. The ship sinks with the Pirates still onboard in trapped rooms. They drown.

9. Resolution: Veterans and families get on the
tender boats. One Veteran still had the Pirate’s radio and calls for help. A
local fishing boat gets the call, and sends the alarm.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee’s Necessary Questions

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I like Hal’s way of getting the writers understanding their story. It’s not just plug in the main story ideas onto a screenwriting template. We have to understand it before we write it. This is key. To get to the heart of your story. The Necessary Questions makes you unpack the reasoning behind your story.

Concept:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Dramatic Question:

Can the old-time veterans stop the Pirates and save their families?

Main conflict:

Pirates take control of the cruise ship, kidnap grandchildren and demand all of the Veteran’s mega lottery winnings.
Dilemma:

Veterans can’t fight back, and find out the Pirates will blow up the ship anyway.
Theme:

Sacrifice everything for the love of their
families.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee Dramatic Plots 2

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

It’s interesting about the 20 plot points. Imagining only the 20. I am writing a new story I didn’t come in with to this screenwriting program. I had another idea to write, but doing the concept module, I had like you say another 99 ideas to choose from. So, I chose something new. I actually loved doing that module, but it was scary as hell doing it. It’s hard to look at them, and decide which ones. I narrowed down the four. These two today seems more of a theme than a plot. Both are useful in storytelling.

Concept:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

I’ve chose #16 Sacrifice and #19 Wretched Excess.

Sacrifice:

Veterans know what family means. It means more than winning the mega lottery. More than half a billion dollars. They would give all their money to the Pirates to save their loved ones. They would sacrifice their lives to save them.

Pirates have nothing to lose. Sacrificing their lives means nothing to them. When one of the leaders’ son is kidnapped by the Veterans, and a stand-off occur, that Pirate leader will sacrifice his life for his son.

Wretched Excess:

This is more of a theme in my story, but very much at the forefront of this story. Veterans win the mega lottery. Since they grew up poor, they like to get a bargain, something on sale, scrimp, etc. So, they buy an old second-hand small cruise ship instead of a new one. But, they like to eat, so make sure that they get the top food for the cruise around the world for their family. Pirates kidnap them especially because the veterans won the mega lottery. They are poor and have no future, but pirating on the high seas. They see this as their lottery to a better life.

I think I could use all 4 story plots in my story. It will help shape the story as I write it. Plots and themes for this story are intertwined.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee Dramatic Plots 1

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Although I have a lot of fear about what the story is, I am ploughing through. I seem to say this each time. I am working through my fears. I can do this. I like outlining. Ideas about where the story will go excites me. I am also taking the Action module, and I had to jumpstart the outlining process. I felt like I was on a high yesterday figuring out the story, especially from reading the outlines for John Wick and The Bourne Identity.

Concept:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

1. Looking through the 10 plots above, select two that could possibly work for your story.

From the first 10 plots given, I think #9 Underdog and #5 Escape.

2. Tell the name of the plot selection and write a one paragraph synopsis for each one.

Underdog:

Veterans are old, aren’t physically matched to fight hand to hand combat with the pirates, who are mostly young. Some of the veterans have physical disabilities (i.e., missing limbs), one has slight dementia. They are not as technologically skilled. They are outnumbered. Their extended family members are not in the military, armed forces or police. They have no fighting skills. They may have weapon skills, since a lot of Americans have guns, go to gun ranges, etc. But, they didn’t bring their guns to the cruise ship, not thinking they were going to get attacked. Pirates have guns, rocket launchers, etc.

Escape:

Veterans and their families only want to escape the Pirates. They want to get off the cruise ship. But, they are held for ransom. One of the crew members radio the Pirates that there are a bunch of mega lottery winners, worth half a billion dollars. But, there are 10 Pirates on their cruise ship. Veterans must fight back to get their families safely off the cruise ship.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Suya Lee Character Structure

Outlining & Your Character Structure Day 1

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Outlining is very important. It saves time, frustration, etc. Better to look at 5 pages than a full script for any problems. When learning a skill, look quickly at your outline to see which scene requires that skill., e.g., suspense. The character info was eye-opening. Mine is an ensemble piece. But, I could make it to a buddy film, where two old time veterans win the mega lottery, & not a group of old time veterans. I can change it later if requested by a producer. I have no problems with that. My currents comps are CAPTAIN PHILLIPS meets COCOON.

Concept

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia & the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Tell us the Character Structure you choose for your story.

This is hard since now I know more about what producers want. I am on the fence at it being a buddy movie, with 2 old time veterans, or keep the ensemble cast of having 4 old time veterans.

It is an action thriller about a road trip on the high seas. From Hals’ guide about characters:

Action film — probably a 1., Road movie — probably a 2 or 5., Thriller — could be a 1 or 4.

Give us one sentence on each of your lead characters.

Give us one sentence on each lead.

Old time veterans:

None of them are the captains, because they make many mistakes (along with dementia). They group their intel together & fight off the pirates. All are single, since they lost their loved ones. Some may fall in love with a crew member, other veteran’s extended family members, etc.

#1.My protagonist is Harry Ford, male, Caucasian American, retired navy, has slight dementia.

#2.My protagonist is Melvin Freeman, male, African American, retired air force, is hard of hearing.

#3.My protagonist is Eddy Olmos, male, Latin American, retired army, lost an arm.

#4.My protagonist is Lucia Lu, female, Asian American, retired army, lost a leg, wears a prosthetic leg, sometimes uses crutches.

Pirates in South-East Asia:

#1.My antagonist is Kai (male) who controls/runs Pirate Boat #1 & its crew.

#2.My antagonist is Rak (male) who controls/runs Pirate Boat #2 & its crew.

4. In one or two paragraphs, tell us how you see the character structure playing out in your story.

The 4 old time veterans are of both sexes, and 4 different ethnicities. They win the lottery, bring their extended families. So, it’s totally multicultural, and their spouses will be other religious/ cultural identities, too, i.e., Muslins, South Asian Americans, Native Americans, Jewish, etc. Plus, include gender identity preferences. Totally inclusive and expansive.

The skeleton crew of the small cruise ship will be like the extended families, different ethnicities, male and female, different ages, gender identity preferences, etc. Maybe 6-10 crew members still available to help cross the Pacific Ocean.

The 2 pirate boats have about 5 pirates on each boat. So, 10 pirates.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee Hero’s Villain Track!

Lesson 4: Create Your Villain Track

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I love the statement, “Great villains make great movies.” Villains are also action-oriented people. I love the idea of having a villain track. Never really thought of it like that before. Especially having two types of villain tracks – unplanned and planned. I like deep diving into the villain’s minds – their plan, decisions, and actions. I am still examining the Villains, which makes this more exciting to do/write. Just a bunch of thoughts, still not coherent, but getting there.

Concept:

When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates attack their ship in South-East Asia and the veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.

Heroes: Old time veterans

Villains: Pirates in South-East Asia (2 boat loads), 2 Pirate leaders, one for each boat

1. Ask the Villain Track questions to discover your Villain’s plan, decisions, and actions.

What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.

Siege/Attack: My story has a bit of both of the villain tracks – planned and unplanned. Pirates didn’t initially plan to attack the veterans’ cruise ship, although they are Pirates of the high sea. They have attacked other boats and ships before to get money, equipment, drugs, etc. They get a call from one of the crew members of the cruise ship as they are sailing into the Pirates’ area. They gather on 2 boats, but don’t really have a plan on how they will attack the cruise ship. They fumble onto an idea as being refugees and need help escaping, so the veterans will try to help them once they get the Pirates onboard.

Mistake: Pirates didn’t know that the cruise ship had Veterans onboard, who aren’t afraid. And, still have some military knowledge. Plus, Veterans and their families know the layout of the cruise ship, and all its idiosyncrasies/malfunctions.

Take Hostages: Pirates kidnap the grandchildren for ransom – from the Veteran’s mega lottery win.

Weapons: Pirates have guns, AR, rocket launchers (to sink the ship), radios, laptop, etc.

Controlling the Situation: Break the ship’s radio and disables the internet, so Veterans can’t call for help. Initially, I had the ship’s radio break down because the ship is old and falling apart. So, this is situation is new for me. Make the Pirates control the ship and their siege is under their control (although they don’t know about the ship’s layout or its malfunctions).

How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero? A fire erupts on the ship. Or, Pirates cause the fire so a ticking clock now activates. Veterans want to save their families, so must give all their mega lottery winnings ASAP. Causes more chaos for both the Pirates and Veterans (and their families). Pirates blackmail one of the Veterans into giving up the money, so they can escape. There could be an explosion on the ship, which also make sit more imperative for the Pirates to get the money ASAP. They are not mechanics and don’t know how to fix the ship.

What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie? They have the guns, laptop, radios, etc. They call for back-up. More Pirates come. They kill a Veteran’s family member (not a child) and a crew member.

Surprise/Capture/Dilemma/Retaliation: Veterans kidnap one of the Pirates’ leaders’ son as a retaliation, as a stand-off, maybe in trade for the Veterans’ own grandchildren. So, now the Pirate leader must choose his son, money, his own death by the other Pirate leader, etc. This causes a fracture within the Pirates organization. Two different teams of Pirates. Can they overcome this and work together to get the Pirate’s leader’s kidnapped son back? Pirates boats are sabotaged, and they don’t know how to release the tender boats on the cruise ship.

Meeting: Pirates gather many times to figure what to do next since this wasn’t what they were expecting, Veterans fighting back.

What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done? Pirates are trapped inside the cruise ship as it sinks, partly due to the ship being old and partly due to them shooting the ship in various areas. They bang on the windows, doors, try to shoot their way out, but all drown. Veterans know the layout of the cruise ship including some finicky door locks, so they can escape.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee Hero’s Mission Track

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I like the idea of having 3 tracks to be aware of. That they play equal roles. And, doing them will help you layer the story, and elevate it. The 2 examples, John Wick and The Bourne Identity, were good. Filling in the form helps a lot. Just concentrate on the major points right now to move it along. Action has a lot of crisis, escalation, trouble, etc. Put them in.

1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.

A. What
is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face of the
overwhelming odds? The 4 old time veterans have seen war before. They were
in battle. They were trained by the US government. Family is the most
precious thing in their lives. They will do anything to protect them. So,
it’s 4 old time veterans against 10 young pirates, with machines guns,
rocket launchers, technology. <div>

B. What
is the mission that would be an impossible goal? How to fight 10 young pirates
with guns, who have nothing to lose, on an old, second-hand cruise ship. It’s
sinking now, they have no radio to call for help. They get their respective
grandchildren, and ask for triple ransom money once they find out that the
old timers have won the mega lottery.

C. What
strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero? They must
save their families that they love from being killed. They give the money,
but stall in order to kill the pirates. Then, the internet crashes. Or,
they break the internet box.

D.
Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally
happen if this hero went on this mission against this villain? The old
timers are trapped at sea, in a sinking cruise ship, no radio, must give a
ton of money to save their families. They must fight the pirates since the
pirates decide to blow up the cruise ship with everyone on board.

2. Use the Mission Steps to outline the mission.

Clear Mission:

Motivation:
Save their families, and kill all the pirates before the pirates kill them
on the cruise ship. </div>

Inciting
Incident: The pirates come aboard the small cruise ship (holds 99
passengers). They pretend to seek refuge, but find out the old timers are
rich (won the mega lottery). One of the crew members have notified the
pirates of the mega millionaires on board, being in cahoots with the
pirates (and no longer with the cruise company).

First Action: The pirates decide to kidnap the grandchildren, and demand the
veteran’s mega lottery winnings. They take control of the ship. Half of
the families are swimming nearby. Half are held captive. They must fight. Some
escape. Hide in places on the cruise ship.

Obstacle:
Radio breaks down. Veterans can’t call for help. They are on their own. The
pirates don’t know the cruise ship is falling apart. The internet crashes
on the ship as the money is being transferred. The pirates threaten the
families to fix the internet to make the transfer.

Escalation:
A fire starts on the ship, killing both pirates and family members (not
children). Since no money can be transferred on ship, some of the pirates
take some of the grandchildren. A cat and mouse game on the ship. Veterans
find out one of the younger pirates is the son of the lead boat pirate,
and kidnap him. There is a stand-off. The lead pirate radios in for more
back-up. One of the veterans is being blackmailed.

Overwhelming Odds: Another pirate boat comes aboard. The ship sinks more. More people
on the ship. Some pirates have never been on a cruise ship, and get
confused. Veterans know the layout, and use it to their advantage. Pirates
shoot anything and everything, creating more destruction, and machinery malfunctions.

New Plan:
The veterans decide to sink the ship while the pirates are on board. Trap
the pirates in various areas of the ship. Families get on the pirates
boats, and the tender boats as the ship sinks.

Full out
Attack: As the cruise ship starts sinking, they fight in submerged water
inside the cruise ship. Families start escaping through the port holes and
escape hatches.

Success: Ship
sinks with the pirates. Veterans and families use the pirate’s radio to
call a local fishing boat for help.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee Hero and Villain

Lesson 2: Heroes and Villains That Sell The Roles!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Dive deeper. Peel back the layers of the onion. Really unpack the various components of your story idea, even before you start writing. Really understand what is going into your story, and why. So, this isn’t a panster type of writing. If I want to write heroes and villains that have depth (and that sells), this must be done now, before you write. Equal measure for the heroes and villains. You are helping us to elevate our stories so they have the best chance of selling and getting it made.

Concept:

Hero Morally Right: save their families on the
cruise ship <div>

Villain Morally Wrong: attacking people on the
cruise ship for ransom, later the pirates find out the people are rich
(won the mega lotter), so try to get more money

Hero

A. Unique Skill Set: old time veterans, from
the navy, air force and army, use what skills they learned while in
service <div>

B. Motivation: save their loved families from
being kidnapped or killed

<div>

C. Secret or Wound: old time veterans saw D-day,
Vietnam fall, the battle of North Korea, Iraq/Iran, Kuwait, etc., some
were not in a winning war, still have the chops to fight back, America
military ideology of never leaving anybody behind sears their heart

Villain

A. Unbeatable: three small speed boats of
pirates with guns, radios, nerve, nothing to lose, a bomb to blow up the
ship if they don’t get their money, or a rocket launcher to sink the ship </div>

B. Plan/Goal: to attack the cruise ship to
hold for ransom, but find out that these veterans have won the mega
lottery, so ask for more money

<div>

C. What they lose if Hero survives: they die
and their families have to pay for the speed, guns and gas, they cannot go
back to their bosses without the money, they will be killed if they fail.
This is a career in poor countries.

Impossible Mission

A. Puts Hero in Action: old time veterans don’t
have enough guns, technology know-how, and their cruise ship is
old/second-hand, and things keep breaking down (i.e., their radio dies,
and they can’t call for help) </div><div>

B. Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: veterans
are old, some have the onset of dementia, some have dementia, some have
limbs missing, one in a wheelchair, one is blind, some don’t know the new
technology on the cruise ship, but they must band together to fight off
the pirates

C. Destroy the Villain: kill each one, drive
them off the cruise ship, turn the tables by the third act (since they know the cruise ship and the pirates don’t)

</div></div></div>

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee – Conventions!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

All the elements, components, etc. that go into Action. Stakes are very high. Elevate everything. You must have a unique setting, while still having a character arc. It’s not easy to write an action screenplay. A lot goes into it. You have to make sure it’s all there. Don’t be a perfectionist. Write bad drafts. Don’t worry about it. Keep doing it. Improve.

Concept: When a group of old timers in a veteran’s home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but pirates in the South-East Asia attack their ship, so the veterans face the last battle of their lives to protect their families.

Conventions:

Hero: Old veterans (in a
retirement home)

Demand For Action: Protect
their families and their cruise ship

Mission: Keep safe while
sailing around the world

Antagonist: Pirates in South-East
Asia

Escalating Action: Pirates
try to take over ship in different ways

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Hi Cheryl and to the group!

1. Name: Sung-Ju Suya Lee. But, call me Suya.

2. I’ve completed 2 feature film screenplays. A bunch of shorts. I would consider myself still an emerging writer.

3. I want to deep dive into screenwriting, and storytelling. I’ve read a ton of books. I’m writing an action/thriller (in ProSeries80), so taking this course. I like to write thrillers, horror, and stories about winning the lottery (or, rags to riches). A lot of my stories tend to be speculative/ supernatural/ paranormal.

4. I can cook a mean fish taco, avid walker (with dog), and scuba dived at night (scariest thing ever).

[Sung-Ju Lee]

1. Sung-Ju Suya Lee

2. “I agree to the terms of this release form.”

3. GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

What I learned: Wow. So many things. A ton of great and useful information. I love the idea of improving 1% each day. That’s totally doable. The Development Process of Intervals of Learning, Thinking and Writing hit home. Excellent method – Thanks to Jim. No more struggling and beating my head against the computer screen. Most of all, I learned about positivity (frame of mind) from Hal. Thank you.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Sung-Ju Suya Lee: I agree to the terms of this release form.

GROUP RELEASE FORM

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

This completes the Group Release Form for the class.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Hi Cheryl and to the group!

1. Name: Sung-Ju Suya Lee. But, call me Suya.

2. I’ve completed 2 feature film screenplays. A bunch of shorts.

3. I want to deep dive into screenwriting, and storytelling. I’ve read a ton of books. I would like to learn and improve, especially the emotional arc, and create maximum entertainment. I like to write thrillers, horror, and stories about winning the lottery (or, rags to riches). A lot of my stories tend to be speculative/ supernatural/ paranormal.

4. I can cook a mean fish taco, avid walker (with dog), and scuba dived at night (scariest thing ever).

• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Sung-Ju Lee.

[Sung-Ju Lee]

Thanks, Harry. Your concept is cool. All the best.