Suzanne Frank
Forum Replies Created
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SERIES INFO:
- World: female-centric behind the scenes dark fairytale
- Main mystery: who is the serial killer
- Impossible Goal: a deathless queen must stop Cinders/save people/save prince in three days before her “secret” is revealed
- Main Conflict: Cinders hates the queen — and why
- Second Mystery: why is this world the way it is? 100 year war; magic illegal;
- Season 1 Arc: from deluded but functioning world, to sleeping spell (as main characters flee to another country)
- Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: from beleaguered queen to savior, to hunter
PILOT INFO:
- Pilot Conflict: Cinderella takes the prince hostage for the Queen’s public death.
- Main Characters Introduced: Cinders, Marie-Claire, Queen, Witch
- Inciting Incident of Season 1: kidnapping from the ball/death of the Witch
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Suzanne’s Five Seasons
What I learned doing this assignment is … AI is great to bat things off of … makes it feel like a game and spurs my own creativity.
What I’ve learned from all the watching I’ve done in this and previous BW classes … I love a show with a cliffhanger makes me shout, “what the *#$?” it’s SO outrageous, and yet fits. That’s really been my goal.
The Bone Dance
One hour reversed-fairytale horror fantasy
Season 1: A Killer Soiree
Major Hook: (Unknown) Cinderella takes the Prince hostage at the ball & threatens to kill everyone in five days unless Queen Joan kills herself.
Big Picture Arc/Journey: Who is Cinderella, does she have anything to do with the (boneless) deaths around town? Which are multiplying … including a powerful Witch who knew everyone’s secrets. Her bones and skin are gone.
Main Conflict: Cinderella as plague. Queen Joan must choose between her own safety and everyone else to heal and save the country. Or at least keep it from spreading.
Mystery/Open Loops: Who is the Queen? Why is magic illegal? Where did Cinderella get such power? Why is everything here so … backward? Why at war for 100 years?
Cliffhanger: The Queen reveals her magic in order to stop Cinderella’s dancing plague. Cinders escapes to go build her army in another country. She needs 10,000 dead souls to invade Hell and rescue Father. The Queen follows to stop her (and save the prince, too).
Season 2: Tower of Gold
Major Hook: Rapunzel is locked into a tower because she can turn straw into gold. No one works, everyone shops, (except the soldiers) and that’s the way it’s been for 100 years. They’re at war for access to more ships, more stuff.
Big Picture Arc/Journey: Cinders frees Rapunzel, throwing the entire gold-based economy into chaos. Joan must escape prison to teach the citizens how to farm to avoid starvation.
Main Conflict: Cinders as Famine, Joan as Ceres
Mystery/Open Loops:
Cliffhanger: Rapunzel cuts off her hands, so she can’t turn straw into gold anymore. Cinders and co flee the furious mob and Joan appears to sacrifice herself … but it’s a distraction as she transforms everyone to safety.
Season 3: The House Always Wins
Major Hook: QJ and co lead a revolution to overthrow the 12 Dancing Princesses
Big Picture Arc/Journey: Freeing the country from a hierarchy that demands a man dance to death, every month of the year with a different princess. Freeing the people from thinking a month of high-living in this lottery justifies the deaths.
Main Conflict: Cinders as Civil War and Joan and Marie-Claire (stepmother) pretend to be opposing warlords to craft a peace.
Mystery/Open Loops:
Cliffhanger: Joan turns into a dragon to stop Cinders
Season 4: Peace, Love and a Magic Flute
Major Hook: Cinders and co. invade peace-loving and defenseless (country)
Big Picture Arc/Journey: Cinders is close to Hell and just lost her army. She enslaves everyone, turns on her company to leads them all into Hell, but Queen Joan’s final efforts reveal a whole other storyline.
Main Conflict: Cinders as Invasion and Joan as Defense
Mystery/Open Loops:
Cliffhanger: Queen Joan, in order to save the enslaved, takes Cinders alone into Hell. Joan is chided for “being late.”
Season 5: Helluva Family Tree
Major Hook: Why was Joan greeted like family?
Big Picture Arc/Journey: Joan’s origin story; who the Witch was, how Father fits in, who M-C is, why everything is backward and separated … and what happens next when Joan and M-C have to go home.
Main Conflict: Joan and Hades … as it’s been for centuries.
Mystery/Open Loops: What happens if Joan loses her magic/immortality? How to repair all the damage behind them? Can Joan leave Hell, seeing her true love (the King) there? Will M-C let go when her love (Father) is there? Will Cinders finally belong somewhere? Will someone finally want her?
Series finale: everyone gets their version of a happy ending. Cinders is Queen of Hell, Marie-Claire and Joan knit together the countries on their way back; M-C ends up ruling the magic council. Joan spends her magic and immortality bringing the ball attendees back to life. She sets sail to see the world …
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Suzanne’s Empathy/Distress and Relationship Map
This is a double response, since the Lesson 6 Forum seemed kinda locked up. For a while.
BUT THAT PROMPT was brilliant! I got a table and everything! The only gap I could see is AI suggested a starting OR ending point for the relationship arc, rather than a full arc.
In Hijack, it’s really nothing BUT empathy/distress, but the super clever thing they did in the later episodes is lay out how the hijackers are in the same–or worse–emotional dilemma than the passengers. And the politicians. And Sam’s method seems to be: meet the emotional need of whoever he is talking to right THEN, then make it fit into his overall agenda of getting home.
To be fair, the whole series is Big Picture Distress. And every episode includes more people affected by it, and the degree of distress increasing for those already in it. So good!
Assignment 2
The prompt was great. AI suggested everything I already had in place, which means I’m either great, or those were just the most obvious angles. (Or a combo.) I didn’t ask it to refine immediately, I mixed and matched the responses between my four characters, THEN used generic follow up questions that were situational so I could build better/different responses. AI is great at lists and breaking things into pieces so anytime I don’t know an answer I just give it the question and ask for a list. THIS IS SO FUN!
The biggest gap I see is the Big Picture Distress doesn’t kick in until halfway through the season. I also think I need another main character to be the voice of the people/chorus/questioners … a Walsingham Holmes or something … I think I’ll ask AI …
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Suzanne’s Depth of Emotions pt II
For my fantasy horror fairytale women-centric story …
Queen Joan (testing the name)
A. Situational: Hope / Fear that the kingdom will pass on/that she’ll never be free
B. Motivation: Want / Need peace/power
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask she’s actually immortal and trapped/ageing and losing
D. Weaknesses in her immortal flesh, everything sensual/ in her aged persona, threats to her authority
E. Triggers — she’s a queen, she’s insulated from triggers … but every morning, the enemy country (whose city she can see from her bedroom) hangs/burns her in effigy …
F. Coping Mechanism — sex with the gardener (in her non-queen form)
Stepmother Marie-Claire
A. Situational: Hope / Fear Psycho will kill herself and everything will return to “normal”/she is saddled with her new husband’s deranged daughter
B. Motivation: Want / Need to protect her children/power to choose
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask fury/ kind and accepting
D. Weaknesses money wound … she’s been poor and is now edging toward that again
E. Triggers threats she’s about to LOSE anything … which makes her dangerous
F. Coping Mechanism she shops
Psycho
(this changes in the story when she gets a major upgrade and becomes more complex)
A. Situational: Hope / Fear father will love her/she’s alone
B. Motivation: Want / Need to belong/to discover how things “work”
C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask single-minded/simple minded
D. Weaknesses strangely, none
E. Triggers (eventually) any doubts of her choices
F. Coping Mechanism cuts things up; plays with bones
AI says:
We went around and around it brought up interesting ideas about paranoia, but never got as “dark” as I’m going for. User error, I’m sure! But I did a trial of pasting together all different story elements and seeing what it came up with.
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Suzanne’s Depth of Emotions part I
Watching Hijack, it was interesting to realize that EVERYONE hijacked is on the same hope/fear equation: hope to see family again/fear dying. (spoiler alert) EVEN the hijackers. Because the show is a pressure cooker the only real masks are the professionals and politicians trying to get them out of the situation. Those too pretty quickly boil down to hope those on the plane live/fear they will die (and they’ll be held accountable).
And it seemed, the more power someone had the less influenced they were by anything else. The Big Bad had their agenda and were calm and inflexible, period. (Some amazing casting there–I BELIEVED the actors were those people. Shudder.) Until a switch flipped. Which was a superpower of the show: upending expectations.
Sam
- A. Situational: Hope / Fear get home/die
- B. Motivation: Want / Need work the situation/get his way
- C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask regret/whatever “feels authentic” to you
- D. Weaknesses his family, esp son
- E. Triggers anyone’s pain
- F. Coping Mechanism do
Stuart
- A. Situational: Hope / Fear do the job/fail (Mum die too)
- B. Motivation: Want / Need get through this/get his way
- C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask terror/fury
- D. Weaknesses threat to his authority
- E. Triggers questions and phone calls
- F. Coping Mechanism ugly shouting
(Eve Myles)
- A. Situational: Hope / Fear land the plane/they’ll die
- B. Motivation: Want / Need be in charge/ make it safe
- C. Mask: Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask control freak/flaky but firm
- D. Weaknesses real time
- E. Triggers threat to her professional control
- F. Coping Mechanism firm but polite bullheadedness (passive aggressive response to schedule?)
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The forum format seems a bit wonky …
HOWEVER …
- Character Name: Psycho (not really, but names are a big deal to me and it’s not time yet)
- Role: Death/Cleansing
- Hidden agendas: Free her father
- Competition: with the Queen
- Conspiracies: with the Prince
- Secrets: she killed/wearing the Witch
- Deception: looks innocent
- Wound: constant need to feed the blackness
- Secret Identity: Queen of Bones
- Character Name: Queen
- Role: Hero/leader
- Hidden agendas: escape and live another life
- Competition: son and Psycho (and witch)
- Conspiracies: with stepmother
- Secrets: she is SB
- Deception: she is immortal magic
- Wound: left/lost everyone
- Secret Identity: Queen of Thorns
- Character Name: Stepmother
- Role: shapeshifter
- Hidden agendas: supplant the Queen
- Competition: Psycho (for Father’s attention)
- Conspiracies: the witch, eventually the Council, the Queen
- Secrets: she sells out the Queen to protect her daughters
- Deception: lied so much, to so many, can’t even tell what the truth is — to herself
- Wound: she was abandoned with Psycho
- Secret Identity: can’t think of a term, but I have a costume in mind …
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Also … I was starting a new chat so I put in what I had “agreed” on in a window — with the term “as a baseline” (so it would build on it) and got a FLOOD of commentary, insights, comparisons, suggestions and even some cheering. I think someone Saturday mentioned he’d done this. It’s helpful!
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Suzanne’s Engaging Main Characters
Journey: Resigned and aging queen whose rule is built on lies is forced to reveal her magic and become the defender (or mass murderer?) who is chasing after Psycho to bring her down before she kills again.
2. Who are the main characters that will sell your show? Queen, Stepmother, Psycho
3. Answer these questions for each of those characters.
- A. Role in the show: Queen — she is the experience of the show
- B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: she is the reason Psycho is acting
- C. Intrigue: What is secret beneath the surface? She is also the one who has the magic to solve/remediate the problem
- D. Moral Issue: What moral boundaries are they crossing? She has one rule: no magic
- E. Unpredictable: What will they do next? Equally ruled by guilt and anger … and she hates women.
- F. Empathetic: Why do we care? She’s lost everything. She’s tired. It’s all on her.
Journey: Stepmother goes from blame and shame to an alliance with the one woman she swore to never help: the Queen.
A: mentor/ally — the voice of reason
B: she knows the truth of Psycho
C: she has a deep, convoluted history
D: her grasp of “truth” is malleable
E: she will do anything to keep her daughters safe
F: she’s alone, she’s poor, her daughters are in danger and she made a promise that’s killing her
Journey: Psycho goes from caged and undirected, to powerful, magnetic and lethal.
A: change agent — the infection
B: bring death to everything rotten
C: the prince isn’t the stranger he seems to be
D: even though her father insists he doesn’t need rescue, she is going to
E: she’s brilliant, and also super fascinated with what “makes” something live. Likes to take it apart to see.
F: she was neglected, isolated, and coming into FEAR finally gives her attention
I finally hit the right combo of terms and AI came up with the flavor I’ve been searching for. Even the profiles were similar. However, the ONE big difference was it made the stepmother more of a shapeshifter with her own agenda, which intrigues me. I feel like I have a platform to really start WORKING on this story now! We’ve learned to use the same vocabulary.
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What I learned is, much like someone in Saturday’s meeting said, AI is the energetic friend who can talk writing ideas forever. AI also is a great mirror to understand how sloppy my questions are for the information I actually want; I haven’t quite hit the right combo of Genre/world. Refinement is key. I’ve included my original ask and my refined one.
Also, AI’s names crack me up. THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
Suzanne’s Three Circles of Characters
Main:
(Tarnished Hero) A queen who must reveal her secrets to save her kingdom.
(Unwilling sidekick) A stepmother who must choose the psycho over her children, or she will lose everything.
(the Agent of change) Psycho, the belle of the story, whose path to save her father (in hell) and punish the queen whose actions put him there, drives everything.
(the Chorus) Sisters, whose need to escape overrides everything, including their humanity.
(Mentor, maybe Narrator?) Witch, whose need to be the smartest/best/most insightful also leads to being the first victim.
Connected:
A cowardly father, who only shows up as a ghost to some and motivation to Psycho.
Prince, who executes Psycho’s wishes and partners with her
Dead King, whose rule created these systems
Environment:
The palace, the townspeople, courtiers, victims, soldiers
AI says:
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Lysandra “Lys” Thornvale
- Secret or Intrigue: Lysandra is not just a victim of her powers but also holds a dark secret that could change the course of the world. She’s the last descendant of a long-lost bloodline with the power to control the plague.
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Lord Roderick Marrowcrest
- Unique Role: Nobleman and Alchemist
- Secret or Intrigue: Roderick is secretly working on a cure for Lysandra’s plague, as he believes her condition is the key to unlocking untold power. He hides his true intentions from both Lysandra and the royal court.
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Lady Seraphina Nightshade
- Unique Role: Cunning Courtier
- Secret or Intrigue: Seraphina’s loyalty is divided between her friendship with Lysandra and her ambitions within the royal court. She plays a dangerous double game to ensure her own ascent to power while protecting Lysandra.
B. Connected Characters:
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Lord Aric Blackthorn
- Role: Royal Guard Captain
- Aric becomes entangled in the intrigue surrounding Lysandra and her powers, leading him to question his loyalty to the crown and his duty to protect the kingdom.
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Isolde Ravenshadow
- Role: Enigmatic Witch
- Isolde is a mysterious figure who possesses knowledge about Lysandra’s plague and offers her guidance in controlling her abilities. She has her own hidden agenda that could tip the balance of power in the sub-world.
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Princess Elowen Silverrose
- Role: Heir to the Throne
- Elowen’s life becomes intertwined with Lysandra’s fate, as the throne of the sub-world may depend on Lysandra’s condition. She forms a reluctant alliance with Lysandra to secure her own future.
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Captain Finnian Stormrider
- Role: Pirate and Smuggler
- Finnian, a rogue with a heart of gold, is inadvertently dragged into the unfolding drama. He becomes a key ally in Lysandra’s quest for answers and redemption, even if it means breaking the law.
C. Environment Characters:
- Royal Courtiers
- Servants
- Guards
- Healers
- Noble Council Members
- Tavern Keepers
- Street Merchants
- Gossipy Townsfolk
- Spy Network Operatives
- Alchemical Researchers
I asked for “more modern and urban” and this was the translation
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Lysandra “Lys” Thornvale
- Secret or Intrigue: Lysandra is not just a victim of her powers but also holds a dark secret that could change the course of the world. She’s the last descendant of a long-lost bloodline with the power to control the plague.
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Jackson “Jack” Marrow
- Unique Role: Biotech Scientist
- Secret or Intrigue: Jack is determined to find a cure for Lysandra’s plague, as he believes her condition is the key to unlocking groundbreaking medical advancements. He hides his true intentions from Lysandra and the shadowy organizations pursuing her.
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Seraphina “Sera” Nightshade
- Unique Role: Tech-Savvy Hacker
- Secret or Intrigue: Sera’s loyalty is divided between her friendship with Lysandra and her involvement in a cyber underground that could change the balance of power in their city. She plays a dangerous double game to protect Lysandra and pursue her own goals.
B. Connected Characters:
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Detective Alex Blackthorn
- Role: Investigative Detective
- Alex becomes entangled in the intrigue surrounding Lysandra’s powers and must navigate a web of conspiracies within the city’s criminal underworld, all while trying to uphold justice.
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Morgan “Mo” Ravenshadow
- Role: Occult Bookstore Owner
- Mo is a mystical and enigmatic figure who possesses knowledge about Lysandra’s plague and offers guidance on controlling her abilities. They have their own hidden agenda that could tip the balance of power in the city.
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CEO Victoria Silverrose
- Role: CEO of a Mega-Corporation
- Victoria’s corporation may hold the key to Lysandra’s condition, and she forms a reluctant alliance with Lysandra to protect her company’s interests and her own future.
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Ace Stormrider
- Role: Underground Information Broker
- Ace, a suave and resourceful information broker, becomes a key ally in Lysandra’s quest for answers and redemption. He operates in the city’s shadowy underbelly and has connections to all walks of life.
C. Environment Characters:
- City Officials
- Medical Professionals
- Police Officers
- Scientists
- Hacktivists
- Street Vendors
- Social Media Influencers
- Gang Members
- Journalists
- Corporate Lawyers
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Suzanne’s “Hijack” Character circles
What I learned from the show: ruthless TV allows for changing who you thought were “important” characters to dead ones, very quickly. The extra weight that made it possible they were important, made it hurt to lose them. I also think in this story, the design is that the circles expand with each episode.
Main:
Sam, Captain, Head hijacker
Connected:
All the ATC, Sam’s son and ex-wife, the other hijackers (female, hubs, African, Marcus), the six speakers on the flight, Collette, co-captain, Glasses instigator, cops
Environmental:
All the people ATC talk to, the killers, the clean up crew
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Suzanne Frank “Hijack”
Well, even the title had my heart rate up.
- Big Picture Hooks
Big hook of this show: What will an expert negotiator whose plane is hijacked, do to get home? What will others do in this extreme situation? And hijacking doesn’t just affect those on the plane … all the people they are connected to, all the professionals … how does it happen? - Amazing and Intriguing Character
What makes these main characters intriguing and interesting? So far, everyone has shown to be NOT what they appeared. And really, you wonder what circumstances would cause them to sell others out (like the captain already has). - Empathy / Distress
What situations causes us to feel both empathy and distress for these characters? Being at someone else’s mercy. Out of control. Thrust in with strangers. Through no fault of your own, yanked from everyday life into life/death stakes. Randomness. - Layers / Open Loops
What questions are created by this first episode that can only be answered by watching the entire season? Who ARE all these people? How are they intertwined? Which ones will make it home? What will they do to get there? What do the hijackers want? How they are bonded together? What’s worth the risk they’re taking? - Inviting Obsession: How does this pilot create the need to see every single episode? Am guessing it’s one hour per one hour of flight (kinda like a condensed 24?) and the tension is just going to escalate. I want to see how each character changes as the situation deteriorates.
- Big Picture Hooks
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My name is Suzanne Frank. I agree to the release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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Suzanne Frank’s Act 1 — SET UP FOR HORROR
(Apprehensive)
Alternating images, each progressed a little further each time.
EXT: tourists in garden; they descend, go through a copse, a mini-stone circle, a giant archway, a series of fountains, cross a small pond on a bridge, stand before a line of statues, then peer over the edge into a cavern of stalagmites. A TK burst up from the cave; the tourists jump, then laugh as they leave.
EXT: workers moving sarcophagus, they crush a TK and drag it, leaving a long streak of blood on the road. Half of them leave, crossing themselves.
INT: staff arranging mummy and knives. Every time they return, it’s rearranged. A different, younger maid is sent in each time. The last one sees the blades now vibrating from being thrown into the wooden wall, she runs out screaming.
INT: post dinner dancing, arguing about “fake mummy” and “empty box;” whispered assignations. Eugenia passes out Harry’s diamond gifts. The initiates change to leave, Bettina suddenly feels unwell, Fiametta is dismissive. Thunder.
EXT: Initiates climb hill, avoiding the blood streak
INT: Bettina’s room. She changes to all black.
INT: Fiametta’s room. She cuddles her tiara and pours herself a drink
INT: Liz’s room. She is organizing a dinner party with paper cut outs.
LOUD NOISE THROUGHOUT HOUSE.
INT: Bettina freezes withe her hand on door.
INT: Fiametta scowls
INT: Liz pauses, no more sound. She goes back to her paper
INT: In the darkened drawing room, the mummy sits up. A green mist escapes out the cracked window. The mummy creaks its neck that direction. (SURPRISE!)
EXT: Ceremony plateau. Initiates take turns getting in and out of the sarcophagus, reciting vows. As the storm gets closer, they go faster. At Caro’s turn, she refuses and they all run through the starting rainfall to the “descent” and go down into the tunnels that lead to the garden.
INT: Bettina slips out of her room, knocks on another door, sneaks. She turns at a gurgle and sees the mummy strangling Fia. Bettina starts to scream, but with one look from the mummy, she begins to choke. She grabs Fia’s tiara as she collapses to the floor.
INT: the initiates are arguing which way to go to the gardens. Harry leads, Claude seconds him, Niall offers quips, Caro and Eugenia hide their concern, Dominic debates with the men and Eugenia announces “it’s gone. We’re trapped.” They look around, it’s the same entryway, but no ascent. Harry dismisses her, Claude agrees, Caro questions and Dominic asks Niall. Who is now missing …
INT: Stone Circle (now inside, not out) Niall talks to Dominic, who leads him into admitting he’s a spy. Dominic’s face “melts” into Niall’s and he turns and sees shades of the men and women he betrayed, as the monster — wearing his own face — tells him he’s earned the death of a traitor … which in GB is drawn and quartered. The stone circle becomes a platform with stone horses and Niall screams as the shades grab him. (SHOCK)
ACT TWO
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Suzanne Frank’s character death track
What I learned is that I am CREEPY … because the “key” to my monster is “Death is merciful, but sadly for you, I am Retribution” …
Char death #1: Bettina (she poisoned old people she was supposed to care for) found, surrounded by “treasures” and covered in her own filth from choking while dying (but 2nd body found)
Char death #2 Niall (spy against his nation in WWI) drawn and quartered (first body found)
Char death #3 Eugenia (witch hunter, from family of same) burns, drowned, halved
Char death #4 Claude (rich from Panama canal ) malaria, only FF and repeatedly.
Char death #5 Dominic (arms dealer) shot to shreds by the statues of “judgment”
Char death #6 Harry … he thinks he escapes by suicide … but arrives in underworld where he is stoned with diamonds, to recover and be stoned again … and will be, for the 4,000 deaths he caused
Char death #7 Caro stabs herself to get to underworld and help stop the slaughter
(Char death #8/Fiametta … who takes out monster )
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Suzanne Frank Horror Plot Track
What I learned doing this assignment: I didn’t need MOST of the storyline I thought I did, or most of the character depth and development. This appears to be a very streamlined genre.
Set Up for Horror- 1921, house party. A group setting off for the “ritual” and leaving others behind, but also a cut open mummy and an artefact that “didn’t belong.” Thunder rumbles
Connect with Characters — flashback to the morning when Innocent is writing a letter, explaining who everyone is, how they all met in Egypt and are making up a “club”
Warning — same day, the staff refuses to move the sarcophagus to the site; fight with the Leader over it
Denial — Ritual, each climbing into sarcophagus to be “reborn” … the storm grows too bad, the Innocent refuses and they all run to the shelter in the esoteric garden.
Safety taken away — when they try to leave, all the find is the entrance. They are trapped and hear a scream
Monster — the missing character thinks he’s talking to someone, it becomes the monster and he dies.
Isolated — they realize they are in a maze, and there’s an Extra person now, but no one really seems to notice
One of Us — at the main house, they wake up to everyone still being gone, realize someone broke in and also the staff is missing
Midpoint — worse than we thought — chasing, fighting, and finding the tortured bodies, as Extra is putting the pieces together for them. Extra tells Innocent to run for the artefact when she can.
Terrorized — Mot introduces himself and tells them why they will die. They each run and are caught and killed, except Innocent who flees when Extra gets caught.
Act 3
It’s the Underworld, everyone who died is there, being tortured. They’ll each die for each death they, or their families, inflicted, for four generations. Extra reveals herself as ancient priestess …
Hysteria
Innocent runs screaming back to the house for the artefact, looks out the window and the gardens are missing (mist?) and stabs herself while holding it.
Thrilling Escape
Innocent enters underworld, stunned at the misery, as Mot upbraids her for entering, she slips Extra the artefact. Extra engages Mot and as his attention shifts, various of the dead get a break, Extra captures him in the artefact, swallows it and makes Innocent promise to bury her and guard the site for the rest of her life. Dies hideously.
Takes One More
Underworld fades back into the gardens, now filled with bodies. Sarcophagus just appears, and takes the body of Extra, then seals shut. Everyone else shows up, shocked.
Resolution
Underworld, the newly-dead cheer that they have escaped, and each shows true nature of character, unchanged even by their experiences … a lake of fire rings around them … close with screams.
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Suzanne Frank’s Characters for Horror
B and a bit of D: Esoteric house party, everyone is same elevated socio-economic group and vaguely know each other. Gathered to open a black-market mummy case during the Egyptomania following Tut’s discovery in the 1920s.
A. Killed off one by one, until the hero/carrier and the innocent descend to the underworld (where the other guests continue to show up) to constrain Mot.
South African: Leader. He purchased the mummy and even though “Egyptology” now decrees being gentle with the artifacts, it’s HIS and he’ll do it HIS way … just like he’s done everything else, including run his mines. Feels competitive with English.
Belgian: Arrogant, quick to second guess leader, always sarcastic and trying to take the MOST out of the week’s experience. Pits people against each other, for fun. But he’s in business with leader.
Englishwoman: Innocent, only one who gets out alive (also complainer?) She has a dark secret and is more interested in the garden and the dancing than the mummy … but her family is in business with the Spaniard, so she is sent as a companion.
Spaniard: Judgey & removed. Dismissive of everything, but it’s her villa (a family trinket, because why go to Portugal, so backward!) and she is supposed to marry the SA. (Her duenna is here, too.)
Frenchman: Out of control. Has a vague moral compass that he drowns and has drowned with wine since a terrible choice lost his battalion in WWI … and he lied about how it happened. His family wealth is from the Panama Canal project.
American: Red herring, keeps quiet about his wealth and puts up with the derogatory comments about his nationality. Served with the Belgian in the Congo, even though he despises him.
Mystery woman: Rebel, only because she is the resurrected Egyptian priestess whose case it was, and her punishment in her own time (for losing the king to the Hyksos) was to “hold” Mot, hopefully for eternity. She remembers her former life AS the story unfolds.
What I learned during this assignment is … I need more women, more connections in my group.
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Terrifying Monster
Their terror: you deserve to die this way … and even death isn’t an out
Mystery: How do you escape what you deserve?
Appearance: they look like you — looking in a mirror — then expression changes to what fear/pain/anguish/regret you will feel as you are dying then being tortured in underworld … so you get a PREVIEW of how horrific it’s going to be. Then it laughs.
Their rules: relentless and implacable. Even the god Ba’al faked his own death to get away from Mot. They always survive … can’t be killed, but can be “held”
Mythology: part of the Ugaritic pantheon. Last seen in ancient Egypt during the reign (and overthrow) of Apophis the Hyksos king. No one knows where they went, but all the gods were relieved they were missing …
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Horror Conventions:
Concept: Each colonizer dies the way their family killed others on climb to power/wealth
Terrorize: dying because of self & family choices
Isolation: 1920s country house party with esoteric garden
Death: diamond mine ; malaria while building the canal; Spanish inquisition; English witch burning; American sugar cane slavery; Congo. And THEN after escaping to death comes the realization …
Monster: Mot — Hyksos retribution demon who rules the underworld, too
High tension: what triggers it? what IS it? How does it get in?
Departure: even death is no escape
Moral statement: What your ancestors (for generations) did unto others, will be done to you
What I learned? I have a dark mind …
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I Suzanne Frank, agree to the terms of this release form.
As a member of this group, I agree to the following:
1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.
2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.
I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.
3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.
4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.
5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.
6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.
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What I learned doing this assignment is … I’m rewriting every word. But also, collapsing characters (too many) and cutting scenes for next episodes, to keep a neater A/B/C delineation.
Do we post here for pilot feedback exchange?
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Suzanne’s outline with intrigue …
What I learned in this lesson is I needed more scenes (which I added). But I’m finally starting to SEE it, the flow between scenes, the tonality of how it fits together. The italicized “intrigue” is the lead of that scene, but most of them have multiple threads. (TK is for the words I haven’t chosen yet, LOL …)
I also think “Lazy Witch Bar” is the best NOLA bar name. Maybe I should invest …
NOTHING STAYS BURIED
TEASER
EXT. Park—Night: In.world/Mystery/<wbr>secret ID/Strange be/Hidden A
(S/u) A figure stands in TK, shrouded in a cloak. In the distance, jazz music and people laughing.
(E/d)She sets down a (gris-gris) and prays to “Loa” asking for mercy since the past months have been relentless for her poor city.
(Irony)Her phone rings and she answers it as she turns to the light – a black woman, middle aged, impeccably groomed – she’s madame mayor.
EXT. Overview—Night: InW
From where she is at (former) Congo Sq park, we fly over streets of NOLA filled with parades and tourists, and patches that are dark and empty.
EXT. Street—Night: In.world/conspiracy/secret/str<wbr>ange behavior/secret ID/Hidden A/hidden layer
(OL)And onto … a crowd, bumping into each other, who suddenly
(Action)New Orleans street where costumed people are bumping into each other, but suddenly begin a choreography with parkour off the old buildings, delighting (and distracting) the tourists filming it.
Behind the “wall” of dancers, a few others are handing tools back and forth, doing something to the street. Then they finish and join in the grand finale, and the group disperses, each on a different bike, going a different direction.
View of their work: mosaic repair of a rupture in the sidewalk
EXT. Park—Night: InW/Cons/Hidden A/Deception
All of the dancers, still in costumes and masks, talk about the experience while sharing a flask. (OL) Lead female excuses herself, she has a big job to be turned in tomorrow. (OL) (em/d) A Spanish-accented male tries to deepen the hug she gives each of them. (OL) She leaves and he watches her go.
EXT. Streets—Night: Strange be/Secret ID/threat
She rides through alleys—full of Mardi Gras action and color—and streets (changed from hurricane) and locks her bike up at shabby spot, then climbs up to (Conflict) a nice balcony, with the d’Argosy logo on the wall behind her.
She turns and a tourist is filming her. (Em/d)
(OL) (S/u) (Irony) He accuses her of being a fraud, since she’s protesting the state of the city, but living a building owned by the people are the most destructive. Like the super deep well they’re about to drill in the Gulf of Mexico.
(Imm threat) (Em/d) She threatens him and he leaves. Once alone, she removes her mask (intro Tilda) and toasts to tiny rebellions—the only ones she dares. She flips the logo off.
ONE WEEK UNTIL MARDI GRAS
Act 1
INT. Lazy Witch Bar—Day: Inworld/Mys/secret/deception/ <wbr>conspiracy/secret ID/Hidden layer/strange be/suspicion
(OL) (s/u) (M) Tilda enters the bar in creative professional attire. Zephyr asks her if she wants a shot/she counters with wanting a Tarot reading. Zephyr ignores her.
(Conflict) Stefani brings up Tilda’s job deadline … getting it done in time for Mardi Gras day. Hardship of doing something for d’Argosy fam. Tilda shrugs.
(s/u) In the background Houma guy is delivering TK while tourists gather for coffee.
(s/u) (em/d) At the bar, the three women reflect on rough fall/winter with hurricane Hilaria. FQ full of film crews and a few cosplay houses in addition to tourists. Zephyr puts her dog outside to sit with homeless guy who watches for TK. She reads Stefani’s first card … they hear screams
EXT. Street—Day: My/Emp/Threat/Strange be
(Challenge) (A)Screams as people get away from a thousand rats racing down the streets & sidewalks, fleeing the FQ.
(A) Stefani gets call from her boss (mayor) and “don’t tell me another hotel collapsed,” waves goodbye and starts up the street.
The rats stream around a Black parade, carrying a “snake” down the street with 2<sup>nd</sup> line who promise Loa will “save everyone” if you ride with the snake.
(s/u) (M) (OL) The street clears, and Tilda & Zephyr whisper they’ll walk over together at 2 pm. Joke about how today they’ll learn they’re really from a family of vampires.
INT. Luxury bedroom for 20—Day: InW/M/Secret/Conspiracy/Hidden Layer/Strange be/Susp
Tilda, Zephyr and another ten women chatting, reveal they’re all cousins, as they get into 18<sup>th</sup> c. clothes. (s/u) (OL) Everyone except Tilda is tattooed, and they all have a d’Argosy logo on their shoulders.
(Challenge) (Em/d) (S/u) Tilda and Zephyr are half-shunned, since they didn’t grow up in NOLA, only spent summers here. Snarky comments about being Texans instead of Creoles. Zephyr laughs it off; Tilda is quiet. They ask about their surnames, Zephyr is Hughes and Tilda is Rountree—neither held to the family tradition that all d’Argosy offspring (regardless of father) have the name. Teasing that maybe they’re not “real” (Tilda and Zephyr make vampire joke).
TK enters and says Grandmarie is on her way. Everyone focuses on dressing.
INT. Modest house—Day: Hidden layer/Strange be/susp/secret ID
(Challenge) (em/d) (M) Stefani gets her 80- year-old Italian great-grandmother whose lease requires a 12-hour evacuation during this weekend every year. (s/u) They discuss how the “rebate” makes the space affordable, bitter, since they used to own it until d’Argosy “witches” stole it back. (Conflict) Stefani tells her they must go by the sinkhole; (M) grandma gets agitated until Stefani promises they’ll be at a jazz club tonight. (Action) As they leave, Grandma is relieved “the axeman won’t get them” this time.
Act 2
INT. Grand bedroom—Day: InW/My/Se/Conspiracy/Hidden layer
Grandmarie enters and the cousins are lined up, everyone dressed perfectly. She is elegant and inspects each, checking their stockings and shoes. When she gets to Tilda, she is bare-legged beneath her costume and wearing her glitter DMs and everyone gasps.
(Em/D) (OL)Tilda argues heat and rats, and that this is her “first” Mardi Gras, so she’s adjusting. GM demands she change, or she can’t come—and won’t see the reveal of the work she’s done. (Irony)
(s/u) (OL) Tilda appears to acquiesce and GM whispers she can wear her boots for the “renewal viewing” but must be in appropriate foot gear in the mansion. (Irony) “You are my favorite” She doesn’t mention the stockings/bloomers etc. and Tilda excuses herself to get changed.
Everyone troops out, sneering, except Zephyr, who shrugs, conflicted and mouths “vampires.”
INT. Mayor’s office—Day: S/Dec/Cons/Hidden A/Susp
Mayor and city fathers, all in costume, but with masks off, arguing about protesters in front of d’Argosy building to stop deep well. Mayor is grateful they aren’t filming the rats.
(OL) (M) (S/u) (Irony) It looks bad, because d’Argosy are “King and queen of Rex”–essentially, bankrolling Mardi Gras since they were the only family that turned a profit this year.
INT. Mansion great room—Day: InW/My/Secret/Deception/<wbr>Conspiracy/ Secret ID/Hidden Agenda/ Strange behavior /Imm threat/Suspicion
Family of about 30 people, standing in “new” room that was Tilda’s design job. (p/o) Everyone in costume, talking about the newest “addition” because as soon as Lent starts, sinking the deepest well ever in GOM. (Challenge) Three people accuse of problems and they reveal the family is on (p/o) both sides of fossil fuel conflict: they have the well AND the chemicals to clean up an accident. They win, no matter what.
(M) Grandmarie enters and promises “it’s still there” —while giving a short history about this once-in-a-generation experience.
INT. Tunnels—Day: Strange behavior
(Action)(M) Everyone departs through ancient tunnels.
INT. Dank room—Day: Hidden layer
(M) (OL) (s/u)Each family member walks by the Looking Glass, some appearing to see, others to hear, then each walks back to the mansion, alone and quiet.
INT. Mansion great room—Night: Conspiracy/ Secret ID/Hidden Agenda/ Strange behavior/Imm threat/Suspicion
(p/o) Back in the mansion, half the family say the Looking Glass confirmed what they feel: the time is up for the family.This starts a fight, Zephyr continues the “we are vampires” jokes, but (M) Tilda looks a bit stunned. It devolves into about half ready to leave NOLA, and half wanting to hire a private army against them.
When Grandmarie enters, they ask her to tie-break the vote, and her voice is different. (M) Tilda & Zephyr exchange looks as Grandmarie supports the oil-lovers, opposite her usual position. (Em/d) The opposition prepare to leave gracefully—and Grandmarie shoots. (Conflict)
(Action)Chaos, with the doctor and nurse running to assist. Tilda flees through the house up to the balcony.
INT. Jazz club—Night: Secret
(M) (OL) (s/u) Stefani parks great-grandma at jazz club with (Spanish-accented) waiter and takes a call (from Frenchman whose conference arrives in three days) as she pushes through crowds to site of sinkhole, in an abandoned and TK part of FQ.
EXT. Sinkhole—Night: Suspicion
(p/o) (OL) (Em/d) Building-sized hole. Stefani calls (mayor) and reports, this is definitely where the rats came from. She will investigate cause. After hanging up, she looks at the surrounding buildings suspiciously and crosses herself. “How am I supposed to cover this up?” she asks herself
Act3
EXT. Mansion balcony in FQ—Night: Imm threat/InW
(Em/D) (Challenge)Street below is full of costumed/masked people. They see Tilda and start shouting at her. She can’t get them to shush. A man (J-P) in 18<sup>th</sup> c. costume shouts out if she jumps, he’ll catch her. She hears more shots from inside. (s/u)
Tilda dangles from the balcony, (p/o) flashing bare legs and glitter boots, then falls into the arms of masked man. The crowd shouts for them to kiss. They do, and it’s surprisingly hot to them both. (Conflict) Tilda sees her cousins have entered the crowd at the opposite end of the street. (em/d) (Action)She pulls a dazed J-P behind her into an alley.
INT. Mansion great room—Night: Conspiracy/ Secret ID/Hidden Agenda/ Strange behavior/Imm threat/Suspicion
(Challenge)(em/d) (s/u) (M) Family, both sides, is giving loyalty oath to Grandmarie. Zephyr is sarcastic, but Grandmarie (OL) (still with strange voice) is serious and humorless. Zephyr gives oath, other family are seeing to the (leg?) shot on TK. She crosses her fingers when she swears. (Conflict) Grandmarie asks where Tilda is “you know how she is … hates conflict. She’s probably hiding in the dumb waiter like always.”
Act4
EXT. Street—Night: InW
Tilda and man run through streets …
EXT. 18<sup>th</sup> c Street—Night: M/Secret/Threat/<wbr>Behavior
(OL) and turn into 18<sup>th</sup> c N.O. (s/u) Comment on the smell. They both freeze, but then hear Mardi Gras music, but very different. J-P wonders where they are and Tilda
EXT. Street outside older version of mansion—Night: M/Secret/<wbr>Threat/ Behavior
(Challenge)leads them back to her family’s mansion and it’s guarded by 18<sup>th</sup> c men exhibiting racist, etc. behavior as they usher in mostly men for a wedding celebration.
J-P says he’s leaving. Tilda begs him to escort her. He mutters he’s an actor, he can do this.
INT. Great hall—Night: M/Secret/Threat/Behavior/Layer
It’s a crush of men and women, in similar attire, watching each other and speaking in (Creole) French. J-P is accosted and introduces himself with a flourish, and Tilda too.
She’s impressed he speaks French. He tells her he grew up in the Caribbean. She asks him to eavesdrop while she checks something out. (Conflict) If I have to take off my mask here, I’m a dead man. She promises to be back soon.
INT. Tunnels—Night: Conspiracy/Threat
Tilda overhears as her ancestors come in from viewing the Looking Glass, and discuss how this marriage will assure their family’s ascendency for TK years. A small price to pay for marrying a TK. Joke that it’s TK who is marrying her.
(irony) (em/d) (s/u) Tilda gets cornered by two of them and they play with her for a moment—accusing her of being quadroon—before she flirts/threatens her way out of it and back to
INT. Great hall—Night: Secret/Deception
(em/d) Toasts are being offered to the happy couple, in Creole French.
EXT. Mansion drive—Night: Threat
(OL) She and J-P melt away and she asks the math problem. He threatens to not speak again until they are safe. Can she get them back? Tilda lies and says yes.
EXT. 18<sup>th</sup> c. street—Night: InW
They find a parade, mix in, then take another alley.
EXT. Current street—Night: Suspicion/<wbr>Deception/Conspiracy
They walk into current NOLA.
(Conflict) J-P rips off his mask and reveals he’s black, and as he starts to yell at her she asks him to do the math (for the time difference) He does, puzzled. She runs back to the mansion.
EXT. Street—Night: InW/M/S/Deception/Hidden layer/Strange be
Stefani sees tourists filming a “possessed” homeless man who is warning of catastrophe and listing allll the ways through the centuries that NOLA has almost been lost. Listeners seem scared and talk about leaving. Stefani interrupts and tells them the weirdness they’ve been seeing in NOLA is actually a new form of “reality show” setting. They press her to say more, and she admits she’s the mayor’s PR staffer.
LOCK IN
INT. Mansion lounge/bar—Night: Secret/M/Deception/Conspiracy/<wbr>Hidden Agenda
(Challenge) Zephyr is making drinks for her cousins and teasing with them. They ask her to read their cards and she pulls death and tower. Suddenly sobered, they go to check on TK who was shot.
Zephyr unlocks the door to the tunnel that led to the Looking Glass, and writes (TK intials) inside TK doorway.
INT. Grandmarie’s dated bedroom—Night: Conspiracy
(Challenge)Grandmarie is facing the mirror, taking off her makeup, jewelry, talking to herself in a man’s voice. He mentions she’s never been worthy of the name, which is why they had to send “assistance” for this TK time
INT. Dank room—Night: Hidden agenda
(OL) Tilda sneaks into Looking Glass again, and when she touches it, has
VISION
Looking at New Orleans from the Mississippi, it’s soggy with water and instead of mirrored reflections, it’s sitting in pools of oil. Almost looks like B& W film. High tide marks are blackened, bodies of animals and people are discernible through the oil. Tall things are broken, signs down, everything stained with oil. As we move through the French quarter, it looks like a hurricane of oil, not water, hit. She sees her family’s great room, and everyone in it is stained with oil, and dead.
INT. Dank room —Night: Threat
She looks down at her hands, and they’re coated in red blood, thick like oil.
She hears “Free me” in an unearthly voice.
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Suzanne’s scene requirements
I’m loving how this all works together, and that this is my first draft and isn’t accurate or complete, and I’m okay with that right now.
Concept: Supernatural origins of New Orleans are revealed–and want to be released.
Inciting incident: Tilda discovers her family’s hidden history could destroy New Orleans if she doesn’t act.
A= New Orleans & Tilda
B= relationships: Grandmere, Zephyr, J-P, Stefani
C= disasters
TEASER:
EXT. French Quarter street — Night
Costumed people are using tools on a New Orleans street. Are they partying and destroying it? No, they are repairing it as street art.
EXT. French Quarter street — Night
One of the costumed people is racing through crowded streets, decorated for Mardi Gras, and full of puddles. Buildings are boarded up, half the businesses open.
EXT. French Quarter balcony –Night
Tilda removes mask, then climbs up to the balcony, pulls out a flask and toasts the moon.
Start: Costumed group on French Quarter street, working in harmonyChallenging Situation: What are they doing?Conflict: Tourists filmingAction: Group dispersesFinish: Tilda revealed
ACT ONE
INT. Bar — Day
Tilda and Zephyr reading Tarot cards and talking about “D Day” for Tilda’s big project … which is tonight, for their family who are New Orleans’ royalty.
Start: Tilda’s big project is finished today, she wants coffee and informationChallenging Situation: Tilda wants Zephyr to read her cards. Z refuses, but will read S’s cards which say this MG will be “unforgettable.”
Conflict: Stefani, city PR, asks questions about Tilda’s ID job. Tilda evades, Zephyr keeps quiet with T’s secrets
Action: Mardi Gras revelers burst in with video of an abandoned FQ building falling into an sinkhole. S goes to see it
Finish: Z and T agree to meet and walk to mansion together for tonight
INT. Mansion — Day
Grandmere with Tilda, Zephyr and other granddaughters, everyone dressing in 18th c. costume, getting ready for “renewal” party
Start: Women, including T & Z, ranging from age 8-30, enter a massive bedroom in street clothes
Challenging Situation: Everyone is changing into 18<sup>th</sup> c costume, discussing if it’s still appropriate
Conflict: Grandmere enters and gives them an (awkward) history lesson but admits its time to leave the past behind
Action: T insists on neon running shorts and her glitter covered DMs beneath her costume. When Grandmere relents, she whispers that T is her favorite
Finish: T & Z joke they are about to learn they’re vampires “everyone else has thought that for centuries.”
ACT TWO
INT. Mansion — Night
Family ritual around a Looking Glass descends to argument, the a shooting, and Tilda flees
Start: A family of about 30, dressed in costume, trek through alleyways with torches, laughing and singing until they enter a recently decorated chamber
Challenging Situation: As everyone walks by the Looking Glass, they are learning the family is doomed
Conflict: Divides into those who want to fight, and those who think 325 years on top is enough, collect their money and retire out of humidity, rats, and sinkholes.
Action: Grandmere refuses to let those who want to leave, leave. When her (son?) walks away, she shoots him. Still holding the gun, she tells them all they’ll be required to swear oaths.
Finish: Tilda slips out
ACT THREE
EXT. French Quarter — Night
Chased into crowd, Tilda grabs a man dressed in 18th c costume (J-P) as a decoy and they splash through a puddle, to go into alley
EXT. (Old) French Quarter — Night
Tilda and man walking through same but different streets. Return to her family mansion.
INT. (Old) Mansion — Night
Tilda sees the same ritual taking place, but only with men, and talking about how they’ll lose their power in TK time, if they don’t act. She runs away when she’s noticed
Start: Tilda is in Mardi Gras crush, and her cousins are trying to chase her
Challenging Situation: Splashing through into 18<sup>th</sup> c New Orleans with masked stranger
Conflict: Realizing the family has known for centuries and its her generation that can stop it
Action: Chased through same streets while they’re shouting she’s a quadroon
ACT FOUR
EXT. (Old) French Quarter — Night
Tilda and man are chased through streets, run through a puddle and
EXT. French Quarter — Night
… back into current time. He yells at her, she returns to the mansion
Start: Tilda and stranger are being chased
Challenging Situation: Their shouts about what they’ll do when they catch T & masked stranger
Conflict: Splash back into present
Action: Strangers rips off his mask and shouts at her that wasn’t funny because he is black
Finish: Tilda doesn’t see cousins
LOCK-IN
INT. Mansion — Night
Tilda sneaks into the Looking Glass and when she touches it, she hears “free me”
(vision) French Quarter streets destroyed by water and oil, the city submerged, the Gulf Coast blackened and covered in the dead and fire.
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Suzanne is setting up the future …
What I learned is that I already have most of this (yay!) because of all the previous work. But it also feels like I could do this assignment after every other assignment, because it keeps changing.
Future Events/Reveals/Under the Surface
What is New Orleans
Who are Tilda’s family
How did they get power
What kind of power is it
Who had it in the past
Who is trying to get it now
How many legends/myths are true
What is (everyone’s) backstory and connection
What happened to Grandmere
What happens if Tilda fails
How do the stakes keep rising
How are history and geography connected
What does (everyone) want
How will this affect the city/Gulf/world
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Suzanne’s Open Loops & Mysteries
Main Mystery — what is Tilda’s family based on
Sub Mysteries:
Why is Grandmere suddenly so different?
Where did the Looking Glass come from?
How can it communicate?
Why did it pick Tilda?
What does city gov’t know?
What is S’s heritage?
Who is J-P and why dressed as 18th c?
History with Stefani, Zephyr & Tilda
Why did Tilda grow up in Houston? What happened between her parents?
Why does T lie to her masked friends about her name?
What started the “tiny rebellions” movement?
Were the “travel” moments real? and HOW?
Who is Stefani’s grandmother?
What was the last NOLA disaster?
What wounded Zephyr?
What do Tarot cards have to do with anything?
Main Open Loop — what is going to happen to New Orleans & when?
Sub Open Loops —
Why are the rats fleeing?
What’s with the sink hole?
Can Tilda trust Zephyr?
Where can Tilda go?
How can she free the Looking Glass?
What will her family do?
Will we see J-P again?
Will Stefani escape or stay? Lie or resign?
Will Tilda go back to antique New Orleans again?
Can other people also travel?
What IS the Looking Glass?
Who else knows about the Looking Glass?
Will anyone learn what happened?
Are tourists going to be safe/saved
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Suzanne Stacks Intrigues
What I learned in this assignment is I have a lot of these things, but not enough of them in the pilot.
Turning points
Conspiracy — everyone Tilda meets and talks to is connected to old New Orleans and has been for generations
Strange behavior — Tilda isn’t just a hired hand, she is part of the family
Wound — she grew up in Houston with her father; now she’s a bit of an outsider
Act 1: Powerful family party is really ancient mystic ritual
Mystery — costumes, stories, business shifts at just the right time — how have the d’Argosy family ALWAYS been in the right place/right time to succeed?
Hidden agenda — her family is both the oil and the oil clean up. No matter what, they profit
Deception — Grandmere is behaving very differently than earlier
Secret — Half the family wants to walk away from the “final confrontation”
Mystery — who does her family need to “defeat” and why is this their last chance?
Act 2: Grandmere shoots (relative) who dissented
Hidden agenda — Her family has known since the 18th c. that the final battle for supremacy is in HER generation
Intriguing world — how is antique New Orleans still alive IN current NOLA
Conspiracy — it’s a color-divided world, in three languages and a thousand tiny rules to see who “belongs” and who doesn’t
Act 3: Tilda’s ancestors learn her generation is the grand battle
Strange behavior — the Looking Glass isn’t in the same place, but they talk about it the same way
Hidden layer — (the LG has just been retrieved by the fam; they will lose it again in a few generations)
Accusation — she might not know all there is about her personal history
Act 4: Called a quadroon
Wound — she’s rejected by J-P
Secret — she took them from one New Orleans to another, but how?
Conspiracy — is there anyone she can trust? (Stefani)
Deception — what kind of mirror can talk?
Act 5: Vision of destroyed NOLA
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Suzanne’s Character Story Lines
What I learned in this assignment is — this was one of the most useful assignments. It made everything very concrete.
Beginning: Tilda in her “tiny rebellions” of making beauty from chaos, using a different name than her powerful family
Turning Point: Her grandmother shoots a family member and demands loyalty oaths from the rest.
Midpoint: Tilda travels into 18th c New Orleans
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Turning Point 2: Her ancestors are in same meeting, and learn that Tilda’s time is the last battle for supremacy
Dilemma: The talisman that has been their power suddenly speaks.
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Major Conflict: To save the city she loves, she must destroy the family she loves
Ending: If she doesn’t rebel, the whole Gulf will be destroyed.
Zephyr
Beginning: Refusing to read her cousin’s cards
Turning Point: Realizing she’s jealous that Tilda is “managing” family & real life
Midpoint: Grandmother shoots. (Coup.)
Turning Point 2: Zephyr takes loyalty oath
Dilemma: Her brother and cousins are looking for Tilda, she keeps Tilda’s secrets
Major Conflict: What are her family really involved in?
Ending: Zephyr sees Tilda return to Looking Glass and covers for her
Stefani
Beginning: With Zephyr and Tilda, reading Tarot and anticipating/reflecting on state of New Orleans this Mardi Gras
Turning Point: “unforgettable” can have two meanings
Midpoint: Rats flee the Quarter
Turning Point 2: Chaostrophobia New Orleans goes viral/tourists leaving
Dilemma: Native who really wants to suddenly escape
Major Conflict: The image of NOLA that her business as city PR pushes, vs. signs that something big is/has changed
Ending: Asked to cover up TK
Grandmere
Beginning: Expansive and lovely, enjoying her granddaughters on the eve of her family’s ritual
Turning Point: (Possession, which no one will know for QUITE a while)
Midpoint: Shoots her TK.
Turning Point 2: Demands oath
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Dilemma: How to stay in control (of GM)
<strong style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Major Conflict: Her family’s benefit, vs. the rest of the city & Gulf
Ending: Nothing is off-limits
ACT ONE
Essence: Tilda is descended from powerful family, who essentially own her and she resents that.
(Z Opening) Works a bar, and has a testy relationship with Tarot cards
(S Opening) Expectations for NOLA in the cards (two ways to read)
TP: Tilda and Z are the same family
(Z TP) realizes she’s jealous of T
(G Opening) KInd and nostalgic, she teases with her grandchildren as everyone prepares for a once-in-a-generation event
ACT TWO
Essence: A family gathering gets divisive and violent
Rats race across the city
(S TP) unforgettable has two meanings
(Looking Glass Opening) Everyone in family troops to it, past it
(TP T) feels like she “hears” it
Family divides, argues, half about to leave
(GM MP) Shoots one of her children
Tilda runs
ACT THREE
(S TP2) goes to sinkhole house/where the rats came from — “Chaostrophobia” NOLA is viral
J-P in Mardi Gras crowd, sees T in costume and she pulls him through a puddle into an alleyway
GM demanding loyalty oaths and sends cousins after T
Z gives oath but (crosses her fingers? eh)
(T MP) and J-P in old New Orleans, go to her family’s house. She slips into meeting, notices its all men, they think she is a slave
(T TP2) Her time period is the last battle for supremacy.
(S TP) Talking to her grandmother while selecting/deselecting flights out of the city
ACT FOUR
T and J-P fleeing her ancestors, step through puddle into current NOLA. J-P takes off mask and he’s black. He yells at her.
(S Dilemma) enters meeting with her boss the mayor and misses plane
T sneaks back to mansion, to Looking Glass
(Z ending) sees Tilda and distracts their cousins who are searching
(S ending) is told to cover up the “sinkhole” story; it won’t happen again
(G ending) is arguing with herself in a mirror
LOCK-IN
T touches the Looking Glass and it pleads “free me.” She pulls her hand back, I can’t.
(T ending) “You must, or” T has a vision of oil and seawater all over the city, the Gulf, everyone & everything she loves dying. She whispers “how?” and hears gunshots
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Suzanne Frank.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by
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Suzanne’s Beat Sheet
What I learned during this assignment is: do and don’t think
Concept: Supernatural origins of New Orleans are revealed–and want to be released.
Inciting incident: Tilda discovers her family’s hidden history could destroy New Orleans if she doesn’t act.
A= New Orleans & Tilda
B= relationships: Grandmere, Zephyr, J-P
C= disasters
TEASER:
EXT. French Quarter street — Night
Costumed people are using tools on a New Orleans street. Are they partying and destroying it? No, they are repairing it as street art.
EXT. French Quarter street — Night
One of the costumed people is racing through crowded streets, decorated for Mardi Gras, and full of puddles. Buildings are boarded up, half the businesses open.
EXT. French Quarter balcony –Night
Tilda removes mask, then climbs up to the balcony, pulls out a flask and toasts the moon.
ACT ONE
INT. Bar — Day
Tilda and Zephyr reading Tarot cards and talking about “D Day” for Tilda’s big project … which is tonight, for their family who are New Orleans’ royalty.
INT. Mansion — Day
Grandmere with Tilda, Zephyr and other granddaughters, everyone dressing in 18th c. costume, getting ready for “renewal” party
ACT TWO
INT. Mansion — Night
Family ritual around a Looking Glass descends to argument, the a shooting, and Tilda flees
ACT THREE
EXT. French Quarter — Night
Chased into crowd, Tilda grabs a man dressed in 18th c costume (J-P) and they splash through a puddle, to go into alley
EXT. (Old) French Quarter — Night
Tilda and man walking through same but different streets. Return to her family mansion.
INT. (Old) Mansion — Night
Tilda sees the same ritual taking place, but only with men, and talking about how they’ll lose their power in TK time, if they don’t act. She runs away when she’s noticed
ACT FOUR
EXT. (Old) French Quarter — Night
Tilda and man are chased through streets, run through a puddle and
EXT. French Quarter — Night
… back into current time. He yells at her, she returns to the mansion
LOCK-IN
INT. Mansion — Night
Tilda sneaks into the Looking Glass and when she touches it, she hears “free me”
(vision) French Quarter streets destroyed by water and oil, the city submerged, the Gulf Coast blackened and covered in the dead and fire.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Suzanne Frank.
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Suzanne’s Layers and Reveals
What I learned during this lesson is … my story keeps changing. Which, since it KEEPS happening shouldn’t continue to be what I Iearn. But HOW it changes, seems to be a constantly new lesson.
NOTHING STAYS BURIED
Teaser:
Surface — rebels destroying the French Quarter
Reveal– masked people restoring the French Quarter
Reveal–Tilda, the leader, her “tiny rebellions”
Act I
Surface — working day
R: Big design job to complete for big money
R: she is part of the big money
R: at NOLA party, preparations with Grandmere and cousins
R: the party is a centuries-old family tradition
TP: Actually, it’s a power ritual involving ancient mysticism
Act II
S: democratic gathering of all the family members
R: the family is split over the predictions of the Looking Glass
TP: Grandmere shoots the leader of the dissenters and requires loyalty pledges from the rest
Act III
S: Tilda sneaks away from party and escapes into Mardi Gras crowd
R: She hides with an 18th c dressed guy, they run down an alley
R: Realizes they are IN the 18th c.
S: She goes to her same house for the same gathering
TP: It’s men only around the Looking Glass, learning their reign ends with Tilda’s generation unless the family ends “them” first
S: As she flees, she’s called a quadroon
Act IV
S: present day, ditched by guy (who is black actor beneath his 18th c costume & mask)
R: She goes back to Looking Glass, avoiding fam
Lock in
R: Looking Glass speaks: Free me
TP: she has a vision of New Orleans, the catastrophic consequences, if she doesn’t
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Suzanne’s Pilot Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is … I keep pushing, keep asking the questions, and it keeps expanding.
Teaser:
Essence: Midnight masked adventurers (led by Tilda) prowling the French Quarter, apparently having fun AND doing good.
Turning Point: Tiny rebellions are the extent of what Tilda feels she can do.
Act 1:
Essence: Daily life in the quarter, with all the elements that make it NOLA during Mardi Gras
Turning Point: She’s from one of the leading families and tonight they have a huge meeting
Act 2:
Essence: Tilda and her cousin Zephyr are snarky as a family discussion elaborate and costumed ritual becomes feud and half of them try to leave.
Turning Point/Midpoint: Grandmere shoots the leader of the dissenters and takes the rest captive.
Act 3:
Essence: Everyone reacts, but one by one, fall into line, except Tilda.
Turning Point: Tilda is chased by her cousins into the French Quarter
Act 4:
Essence: Tilda, in an effort to blend in, makes out with a masked man in the crowded streets. She pulls him into an alley
Turning Point: They realize they aren’t in the 21st c. anymore
Act 5:
Essence: Tilda and J-P sneak into her family’s house in 18th c., looking for shelter.
Lock In: When she’s escaping, after mystically seeing the destruction of NOLA and the GOM, she’s called a quadroon.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Suzanne Frank.
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Suzanne’s Amazing Inciting Incident
What I learned in this assignment … I love these processes. And the lectures give SO MUCH beyond the written lessons.
Intriguing Concept: Costumed figures fighting/dancing in French Quarter’s darkened streets and when they leave, the pothole has been repaired with mosaic art. The leading figure climbs into a French Quarter mansion, and when she gets to the balcony, toasts the moon to “tiny rebellions. Because what else can I do?”
Act 1: A Monday in Mardi Gras season NOLA. Tilda works in a big office, she eats red beans and rice, she has her Tarot read and it tells her she’s living a lie. (TP) Tonight is the big “family meeting” where their future will be decided.
Midpoint: (TP) Grandmere shoots the leader of the dissenting family group
Lock In: Tilda escapes into the 18th century and the same “family meeting” is taking place. She gets to the Looking Glass, and it screams “free me!” She has a vision of a catastrophe in the Gulf/NOLA if she doesn’t do it. (TP) She is seen and runs away, with her (ancestors) calling after her: “Stop! Quadroon!”
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This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Suzanne Frank.
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Suzanne’s Big Picture Components
What I learned during this assignment: (even after a total rework between Module 2 and 3) what I have isn’t enough. Keep massaging, keep rethinking, keep expanding–everything is one step closer, every time.
SERIES INFO:
World: All past and present New Orleans
Main mystery: How is the “Looking Glass” fixed/how to free it
Impossible Goal: survive history to free the Looking Glass before disaster
Main Conflict: Her family is trying to catch her before she can do it
Second Mystery: Why did the Looking Glass pick her?
Season 1 Arc: Looking Glass from object to be freed, to creature that takes FQ with it when it escapes
Season 1 Protagonist Internal Journey: From family drone with tiny rebellions, to upending her family’s fortune, changing the reality of New Orleans, the Gulf of Mexico, and shifting the world into a new paradigm.
PILOT INFO:
Pilot Conflict: what is real? (18th c., visions, witch, family feud, murder, J-P)
Characters Introduced: Tilda, Grandmere, Zephyr, Jean-Pierre
Inciting Incident of Season 1: “Free me”
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Suzanne’s Intrigue Patterns
What I learned is these aren’t distinct lessons for me, it’s more like a bike chain, transitioning between all the moving parts; then going back to do it again. BUT I’m using the tools and making progress … these questions point out the meat in the idea. I did them one at a time, following the examples, then put it all together.
Stella’s PR client Taz has just gone from being the toast of NOLA to threatening its existence. He claims to be warning, to protect it, but how can he know of a coming catastrophe? Of a need to “cut” NOLA from the mainland, if he’s not doing it?
How or who or what could control nature in the Gulf of Mexico?
When Taz eludes all governmental agents, Stella becomes his conduit for further warnings. And demands. But she conspires with the FBI to betray him, even though it seems he’s helping–from outside the law. She will do anything to protect her secret housed in the city.
In one night a horrific storm sets NOLA free … and shifts the future for every person on earth.
Is Stella working with the Devil? Or against humanity’s savior?
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Suzanne’s Show Summary
What I learned during this assignment is just throw the spaghetti at the wall. I “finished” a first draft of the pitch bible today and that’s a big win. Loving the audios that go with this module!
I picked method B, and I also have a kinda crappy but accurate title now:
Start Over Island
1 hr science fiction/fantasy/adventure/romance
Summary:
On Day One, a New Orleans party turns into a wake when the host announces he’s taking the Gulf of Mexico hostage, an unprecedented catastrophe is coming, and he needs five more conspirators to join him on his Aisland. His PR rep Stella, makes a deal with the FBI to infiltrate his Aisland and take him out.
On Day Two, chaos envelops the city, and the hostage taker demonstrates his power when ALL communications cease for six minutes. Billions of dollars are lost.
On Day Three, martial law is instated, private navies crowd the harbor, and leaving the city becomes an act of terrorism. Stella joins with four others and they plan to escape by walking across the gulf floor to the Aisland.
On Day Four, a cargo ship crashes into the Port of Houston and disrupts shipping. The traumatized sailors scream about an “island of girls’ bodies” in the Gulf.
On Day Five, the hostage taker demands the city decide HOW it wants to become an island, where the cuts are.
On Day Six, the conspirators leave, beneath them the gulf’s floor shivers and moves, shifting the oil beds away, and cutting New Orleans into an island.
On Day Eight, they wake up on the Aisland, and each conspirator reveals his true colors. Stella is “thrown” back to NOLA as it is cut free from the mainland. She sees creatures in the water and wonders if they’re helping or harming.
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Suzanne’s Episode List Rough Draft
What I have learned … just keep going? Everything forward requires a rethink of everything back and breakthroughs are coming on an hourly basis. LOL. This particular “cheat sheet” is extremely helpful. (EDIT) I make things too hard! Sixty percent, I have! (And I maybe misunderstood? Weren’t we supposed to show our process? Anyway …)
Season 1: Bienville’s Dilemma
1. Beginning: a container ship comes upon an island of dismembered bodies in the GOM; they are spun around and crash into the port of Houston. Unknown players take the GOM hostage. A catastrophe is predicted. Season End/Cliffhanger: End, Stella is back in NOLA, but (cliffhanger) NOLA is now an island and she thinks she sees non humans helping
2. Season 1 Mystery Set up: Who and How has control of GOM? Season 1 Mystery Solved: Water elementals
Second Mystery Set up: who are Diane, Luke, Hazel, and how are they connected? Mystery Solved: Hazel is a killer; Luke accidentally killed too; Diane is victim to both.
Third Mystery Set up: What is the objective of the hostage takers … (many seasons away)
Question A: What is the mystery? How did certain family corps know to evacuate early? Question B: How could the mystery be set up? What parts will be left out that must be solved? Question C: Why is all of this happening now?
3. Journey begins……………………………………………………….Journey peaks, but continues.
Question A: Stella starts as the toast of NOLA, her client Taz charming everyone. He reveals he’s taking the GOM hostage, a catastrophe is on the way, he needs five more conspirators. Stella immediately (eludes the police) and confronts the tarot reader (Zephyr) she consulted. Zephyr’s response was ambiguous, she challenges Stella to reframe. Taz contacts Stella and asks if she will be his “voice” and she volunteers to the FBI to get to him.
Question B: Think about where this character goes in future seasons. S2: She helps Zephyr and Mayor Yvonne until Yvonne is killed. Stella becomes mayor and leads NOLA to secede from Louisiana. S3: She’s mayor of Wild West NOLA, trying to establish new normal. Storm surge decimates city. S4: She’s kidnapped when FOA invade NOLA, and leads a popular revolution with Elemental tech. S5: NOLA forms new kinds of government. Stella becomes the Elementals international “voice” and helps with transforming other gulf regions using NOLA example.
Layer….…opening scene is Elementals stopping ship long enough to turn it to wreck into port and halt shipping
Layer………Taz is an elemental-ish
Layer………Zephyr advises Yvonne and Stella, she overserved Luke
Layer………Luke’s crash killed Diane’s BFF which started her spiral
Layer………Venato fell in love with an elemental and faked his own death
Layer………Stella lives in NOLA because her biological daughter is there
Layer…… FOA have resources beyond everyone else, which divide them
Layer …. the geology we know is recent, not the rule
Layer…. Constantine sees his mirror in Luke
Layer…. Hazel is the greatest threat
Layer….Luke is literally followed by ghosts and his self-judge
Layer……learning to live without
Layer…..weather
Layer….Yvonne must decide what not even Bienville (who founded New Orleans) could not
Layer….. We are not alone
5. Make a list of the Major Story Lines.
FOA (Taz, Stella, Yvonne)
Aisland/chosen ones (Taz, Hazel, Venato, Diane, Luke, Zephyr, Stella)
Supernatural/horror/disaster –consequences and set ups
Serial killer/lover (Diane, Hazel, Luke, Zephyr)
NOLA/nature (Yvonne, Zephyr, Taz, Stella, Venato)
Gov’t/FBI/practical (Constantine, Stella, Luke, Venato)
Question A: What main characters have story lines that affect everyone else? Stella, Zephyr, Luke
Question B: What are the most important story lines of this show? Chosen ones, FOA, NOLA
Episode 1: NOLA given a choice, GOM taken hostage. Stella makes a deal with FBI.
E2: Luke blackmailed by Constantine into being an assassin. NOLA political confusion around Yvonne. Stella speaks for hostage takers.
E3: Zephyr, Hazel and Diane conspire to get to Aisland.
E4: Stella joins group, Luke hooks up with Hazel and joins too.
E5: Zephyr volunteers to help the Five
E6: Evacuations. NOLA changing. Venato blackmails Luke into letting him join.
E7: The Five escape NOLA, truths revealed endanger them all. The Shiver begins.
E8: Zephyr and Yvonne consult the sea. FOA divide into camps. Disaster everywhere.
E9: Night of the Cut; NOLA becomes an island.
E10: Wake up on Aisland, Hazel tries to kill Taz, but Luke intervenes. Constantine, listening, does not relate their location. Taz “throws” Stella back to NOLA to be the elementals representative.
S2E1: (NOLA and Aisland locations.) NOLA waking up in angry chaos. Escapees orient to Aisland, meet others (Miranda, Brian, Taz)
E5: Yvonne murdered and dumped in GOM; Stella steps in to lead.
E9: NOLA secedes from Louisiana
E10: FOA detonate an EMP and meet the Celestini elementals. (Constantine caught while trying to warn Aisland.)
S3E1: Constantine escapes to Aisland with a price on his head in a Wild West NOLA world (with more music and sequins). Venato orients newcomers to Aisland and helps them recognize their awakening skills.
E7: NOLA declares independence from USA. FOA “revive” the leader of Operation Hausfrau to fight, because now they are the hunted ones.
E12: The 12 raise an island in GOM; resulting storm surge is devastating. Meet Daeveni.
S4E1: Looking Glass mythtech revealed. Private army invasion puts NOLA under martial law. Stella taken prisoner.
E6: WWII interaction with gov’t and Elementals revealed; the world loves the underdog
E11: FOA unmasked. Aislanders fully operational.
E12: Zephyr consumes the Looking Glass; worldwide migration toward joining the Aisland.
E13: Hazel tries to kill all Aislanders since she sees them as betraying humanity. Suicides instead.
S5E1: FOA launch private army, full-scale war of humans vs. Elementals.
E4: NOLA revolts. The 12 assist.
E11: The 12 depart to join communities who want to learn Aisland skills; volcano in Gulf .
E12: NOLA rebuilding as gateway to GOM; Stella leaves to become voice of Elementals worldwide.
E13: The truth revealed–the Elementals strategy (flashback) — and future seen.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Suzanne Frank.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by Suzanne Frank.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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Suzanne’s Five Seasons
What I learned is everything is developing so fast that my homework is behind almost as soon as I type it! I have a NOLA storyline, then all the characters. It goes together but not (yet) succinctly.
NO TITLE YET:
Season 1: Bienville’s Dilemma
A. NOLA must choose how to be physically saved. B. Forces have taken Gulf of Mexico hostage C. Powerful humans (FOA) are fighting for their continued plush existence D. Who or what is in the GOM and how is it that the was FOA prepared? E. (Night of the Cut) NOLA is an island, now what? (Sireni reveal: WHO is in the GOM)
Season 2: Last Call
A. NOLA in shambles, beginning detox from oil and corp. Intro to hostage-takers’ “Aisland” and characters. B. FOA modifying plan/will take over island/martial law C. Mayor murdered (saved). D. What will happen to hostage sympathizers? E. EMF attack by military, now what? (Celestini reveal; WHAT they want)
Season 3: You Should See Me in a Crown
A. Assembling the 12 on the Aisland. B. NOLA moving toward independence C. FBI handler escapes to Aisland. D. Why does FOA want to destroy GOM now? Looking Glass mythtech revealed. E. Volcano in GOM, now what? NOLA free. (Daeveni reveal: HOW they will win)
Season 4: Once Upon a Time
A. FOA believe they are fighting a final battle for supremacy over earth. B. The truth about FOA and Elementals and history. C. FOA foments humans vs. Elementals war. D. What are Elementals? Where did they come from? E. Hundreds of thousands worldwide want to join Aisland (WHY FOA “must destroy” Elementals)
Season 5: Double-Blind
A. NOLA reborn as gateway to Aisland and GOM, where life is flourishing. B. Old world control versus new world cooperation. C. Full-scale war on Elementals (they win). D. The Elementals ultimate plan (flashback to before the start) and evolutionary heritage; Aislanders disperse worldwide to teach new ways to live. E. Next Gulf? (SO WHAT? New world example for all)
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Suzanne has completed the BW framework!
And whoa! What I learned is that I needed a big RETHINK, so I did. Main change was a single, dominant hero and a personified “villain” to position around. I amped up all the emotions, made the wounds worse, the secrets darker, and buried the mystery deeper. I hope we get a second chance for a framework review, because I’m not ready yet. BUT this is SO MUCH FUN! Anyone else having an absolute blast?!
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Suzanne’s Plot and Character Layers:
My show ended with episode 9 … analysis will continue for MONTHS! Nothing really came together until Ep 8.
Watchmen
Big Picture Layers
Plot Surface: The story is about the Tulsa massacre in 1921 … we see a little boy left alone to watch Tulsa burn. Now in 2019, Angela, a wife and mother in a how much different world? It has overcome a lot of our challenges, but still faces racism … as evidenced by a cop being shot and then the police chief being hanged. Though the man who claims to have killed Judd couldn’t have — and Angela is revealed as a masked detective who suspects (why?) something else is happening.
Layer 1: Sabotage: FBI Laurey wants to unmask everyone, at any cost. Bring down every vigilante. Looking Glass is trying to save the bigger picture, even if it looks like betrayal. Will, who knows everything, is part of the trap. Angela is hiding Will from justice, as she learns she is his granddaughter.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Layer 2: Conspiracy: The police chief and Senator were managing their opposing racist factions, counting down. The government knew the ’85 attack was false flag, but took advantage to further their own agendas. Triillionaire Trieu has built a giant countdown clock, but no one knows why. (And why in Tulsa?) Ultimately, Dr. M has been hiding in plain sight.
Layer 3: Mystery: What happened to the boy from ’21? What really happened in ’85? How does Viet nam fit into all of this? Where is Dr. Manhattan? Who was Hooded Justice? What does this all have to do with Angela?
Layer 4: Future Consequences: Angela takes the egg, does she get the powers? And if so: will SHE behave differently with them?
(The next part is not any assignment.)
When I think of how they built this, it seems to have been on several historical platforms: the ’21 massacre, which put Will and June together. He becomes the NYC cop, who then becomes the Hooded Justice vigilante, who uncovers the “cyclops” tech and the racist plan to make all the blacks kill each other, then his rage loses him wife and child. Hooded Justice becomes part of the first band of “super heroes” which inspires media that continues through until 2019.
Then there’s Viet Nam, where the conflict is settled by the only actual “super” human, Dr. Manhattan, and the country becomes a US state, but not without suicide protests, one that takes out young half Vietnamese, half-Black American Angela’s parents. She eventually becomes a cop, until she is wooed by Dr. Manhattan and they decide he will set aside his super-ness so they can have a normal life, in the town her family is from (but she has never been to) and he warns her: it will be ten years of happiness together, then tragedy will strike. Publicly, Dr. M is thought to be on Mars.
In 1985, Russia and USA are about to come to nuclear blows when an alien squid lands on NYC, kills 3M and causes the reorganization of world governments. Before he becomes president, Robert Redford learns that it was a scheme by the world’s smartest man, frenemy of Dr. M, and another masked vigilante, Ozymandias, to instate world peace. All over the world, people suffer from PTSD and it is revisited with every –much smaller — squid-fall. One of those most traumatized grows up to be a detective in Tulsa and Angela’s friend/ally. His learning that secret is how he’s manipulated and eventually manipulates back.
2016, Christmas Eve. In Tulsa, all the cops are slaughtered in their beds after local racists get fed up with “Redford-ations” –monies that have been provided to descendants of the ’21 massacre — and left many of them behind, fiscally and socially. Angela and the policeman Judd, who becomes police chief, are the only two left. In the attack, Angela’s husband (Dr. M in hiding) teleports one of the attackers … which gives away his identity. (Should have given it away a lot more, this is a bit fuzzy.) Thus begins the racists’ plan to capture Dr. M, steal his powers for their senator, and let him become a god-on-earth and restore white supremacy.
2019, a traffic stop gone wrong leads everyone to think the racists are on the rise again, all in their lure to get Dr. M to return to his true (blue, ha!) form so they can hijack and kill him. (There is an entire parallel storyline with Trieu planning on the same thing, but with better technology, so she ends up killing the racists before she is killed by Ozymandias, Looking Glass and Laurey, before they arrest Ozymandias to stand trial for killing the 3M.) Will, unknowingly tipped off by Angela that police chief is only pretending to be accepting, kills him using the cyclops tech created by the racists. Basically, all the racists are killed by their own methods.
It seems the order of creation was: Mystery elements … then Conspiracy, then Sabotage, then the Surface, then the Future …
Character Layers –Angela
Surface: about to open a bakery; mother, wife, former cop but retired after the White Night.
Hidden Agenda: live quietly as long as she and Cal are able to
Conspiracy: hide Dr. M, serve as Sister Night detective
Secret Identity: WELL … Sister Night, but also Mrs. Dr. Manhattan
Wound: no family … her parents were killed, her grandmother came to get her and died that day, she and Cal only got children when they took in her former partner’s children, she never even heard of her grandfather … and in all this, she has taken Judd (police chief) and his wife (racist!) as her family. So she’s wounded from her childhood, then wounded when she loses Judd, then wounded again when she learns their whole relationship was just a facade, a ruse to get close to Dr. M, then she loses Cal TO Dr. M, then she loses Dr. M. to death … but she still has her kids and she gains her grandfather. And because it’s a superhero story, she also gets to relive her grandfather’s LIFE, so her interaction with him is emotionally intimate, quickly — and all the gaps between ’21 and the present are filled in for the viewer.
My Show:
Surface: misfit strangers in New Orleans, trying to (illegally) get to the HQ of “terrorists” who have taken the Gulf of Mexico hostage and claim they are waiting for five more people to join them.
Agenda: Hazel/kill them all for fame and justification; dadpilot/betray them all to save his family; Giorgio/find the girl he loved and left his family for; Maelle/go where her family can never find her (and sugar is outlawed); Zephyr/follow the commands her guides have been screaming
Sabotage: the FBI has planted dadpilot; when Maelle learns who dadpilot is, she wants to turn them all in; Hazel wants/helps Maelle to continue sickening so Hazel can “complete” (kill) her; Zephyr has otherworldy insights, but can’t see past her guilt; Giorgio knows more than he is saying about what/who is in the Gulf.
Conspiracy: the gov’t knew something was going to happen, but has arranged it for maximum blame on the “terrorists” as corps and gov’t plan on how to divide the spoils of oil/gas/transportation once pesky citizens are off the coastline.
Hidden Agenda: demonstrate HOW to save the planet, by first saving themselves.
Mystery: who each person is, how did they come to be driven to be one of the next “five”? what does the gov’t/corp know, and how long have they known?
Future: what will happen to NOLA? What will happen if these people get to the “terrorists”? What role with the authorities play? What will the next storm do?
Basically, I want it to roll through: these people are outlaws; rebels; freedom fighters; dangerously insane; reformers; terrorists; revolutionaries, no they’re liberators
Character Layers:
Zephyr Hughes, ABD ornithologist, barkeep, native NOLA, tarot card reader, “cool” girl
Secret ID: the mystic
Intrigue: she listened to her guides and walked away from her job, just in time to not be there for the 100-year-storm. She’s angry with them, because feels she should have been there, and has shut off all connection. (This is also her wound.) She’s embarrassed to be keeping bar instead of working with birds, embarrassed to be living with her brother (and boss) and feels she’s reverted to being a teenager again. All of this is beneath a veneer of snark and tattoos.
Relationships and Conspiracies: she takes care of indigent Giorgio; she defends Maelle against Hazel’s aggressive DIScouragement to get well; she recognizes dadpilot (but doesn’t know he is “that” pilot); she likes Hazel, but doesn’t trust her; and she has cut off her own intuition and knowing, so she feels blind in life. Zephyr is the one who draws in each individual until they admit they are going to the Aisland. She sets the conspiracy to get them there, in motion.
History: she used to work for one of the “terrorists”
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Suzanne’s show Empathy/Distress Part 2
What I learned in this assignment is … these are glorified bulletpoints. There’s so much to discover! For every sentence here I have a page of notes as I play with options and ideas …
A. Undeserved misfortune: Gulf Coast in general, because of impending storm; Maelle/loss of her best friend; Dadpilot’s sentence of ghosts; Zephyr/lost everything when she followed her guides; Handler/marital consequences of taking this job; when they escape, everyone they ever talked to will be investigated/accused;
B. External Character conflicts. The development/investigation into the Gulf 7 and changes within NOLA as the threat escalates and the storm approaches
C. Plot intruding on life: weather/politics
D. Moral dilemmas. How much of your history do fellow conspirators deserve to know? What they don’t know could hurt them HOW?
E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Dadpilot/spy & betrayals; Zephyr/leave her guides;
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Suzanne’s show Empathy/Distress Part 2
What I learned in this assignment is … these are glorified bulletpoints. There’s so much to discover! For every sentence here I have a page of notes as I play with options and ideas …
A. Undeserved misfortune: Gulf Coast in general, because of impending storm; Maelle/loss of her best friend; Dadpilot’s sentence of ghosts; Zephyr/lost everything when she followed her guides; Handler/marital consequences of taking this job; when they escape, everyone they ever talked to will be investigated/accused;
B. External Character conflicts. The development/investigation into the Gulf 7 and changes within NOLA as the threat escalates and the storm approaches
C. Plot intruding on life: weather/politics
D. Moral dilemmas. How much of your history do fellow conspirators deserve to know? What they don’t know could hurt them HOW?
E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Dadpilot/spy & betrayals; Zephyr/leave her guides;
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Suzanne’s Show Mysteries Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment is: it pairs well with the “but what’s underneath THAT?” question and loop.
Shocking Event: Two years in the future, the Gulf of Mexico is shut down by “terrorists.”. They lay claim to the Gulf so they can demonstrate how humanity can save itself, and invite five more people to join them on an island. They demonstrate terrifying power.
B. Secret: NOLA is full of people trying to get to the island, even though it is instantly treason/life in prison if caught. My five characters form a conspiracy to get there, each with their own agenda.
C. Investigation: First it’s Political: what country is doing this to USA? Then becomes what group/terrorist org is doing this to corporations and oil? Then, what eco group is doing this to commerce and shipping? Then, what THING has the power to do this? Then, what alien force has invaded the world? Then, what amphibian alien is setting up humans vs. them? Then the reveal …
Part Withheld: (Season 1 finale)
The Over Time Mystery: the real agenda of the island and their blow by blow execution as the conflict with the world ebbs, flows and changes and the relationships on the island do too.
A. Cover up: a group within government/company has known about this element all along, and in fact used them, then (thought) they’d “exterminated” them long before.
B. Secret: Nature has gained a voice and is leading the way to drastic immediate change.
C. Reveals: It’s not the five we thought …
Part Withheld: The story moves from dystopian-ish start to solarpunk finish.
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Suzanne’s Show Mysteries Part 1
What I learned doing this assignment is … mysteries are my love language! This is naturally how my brain works. But the Watchmen was crazzzzzzy! Allows me to think even bigger ; )
The Watchmen:
The Shocking Event was the 1985 Squid on NYC that killed 3 million, and reset the power balance. Everyone remembers where they were, it was the foundational event (deliberately rigged) of the current world, including regular squidfalls.
The Secret is: Why did the aliens do that, and what will they do next?
Investigation: one of the most traumatized victims uncovers the truth (Or rather, has it handed to him in exchange for betraying an ally.)
WHAT: Alien Squid
WHEN: from 1985 to present (2019)
WHERE: NYC, though random squidfalls everywhere
WHY: to terrify Russia and USA into peace
WHO: not aliens, but a defrocked superhero
HOW: advanced science
Ultimate Reveal: there are no aliens, only superpowered humans
Ultimate Reveal 2: Dr Manhattan, the most powerful person in the universe, let it happen
Mystery 2: Dr. Manhattan
Cover up: He’s on Mars …
Secret: he’s pretending to be human, he doesn’t even know it himself
Reveals: when the racists kill all the cops on “White Night” one killer finds himself teleported (only Dr. M can do that). Their leader, Senator Joe, doesn’t want to be president anymore, he wants to have Dr. M’s powers.
Dr. M’s former lover, now a vigilante hunter, has left him messages for decades and never heard back. Trillionaire True has built a “millennium clock” to save the world but she won’t say how. But it translates to: allow the racists to find Dr M (who turns out is main char Angela’s handsome, quiet, bookworm husband who uses his power, and betrayed himself when she was in danger) and try to kill him, but then True wants to take his power and “do good” with it instead. She is defeated and at the end, Angela discovers she may/may not have received Dr. M’s powers before he died.
WHO: Dr Manhattan
What: the one who can fix/wreck everything/holds all the power
Why: everyone wants to take his powers
WHERE: it all comes back to Tulsa: where Dr. M is, where the clock has been built, where Angela lives, where her grandfather fled from in 1921 and inspired the entire masked vigilante element in society
WHEN: current day, though people think Dr M is on Mars, ignoring them (they have phone booths around the world to call him and leave messages)
WHY: everyone is looking for order: whether that is justice (for many of the chars) or power (all the racists) or hierarchy (the super smart/super human)
HOW: Dr M started as a refugee from the Nazis, just a human, who stepped into a specific kind of reactor and BAM became blue, naked and insanely powerful … and then allowed himself to be used as a weapon (Viet nam) before leaving the planet (and then returning in secret).
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Suzanne’s Show Relationship Map Part 2
Title: Escaping to
Hazel and Maelle
Surface: strangers who become friends
Common Ground: both tourists, both enjoy bars and restaurants and are interested in NOLA’s spiritual side
Conflict: Maelle’s health improving
History: none
Subtext: Hazel is waiting for Maelle to “ripen” in order to kill her/put her out of misery
Arc: from potential victim/predator to equals
Maelle and Zephyr
Surface: barkeep and tourist
Common ground: interest in “spiritual” matters
Conflict: Maelle wants to talk to her dead friend/Zephyr refuses to channel
History: none
Subtext: Maelle is learning what is/isn’t good for her. Zephyr is trying to help her stand strong; help her resist Hazel
Arc: from strangers to allies
Zephyr and Hazel:
Surface: barkeep and tourist
Common ground: Maelle
Conflict: Zephyr encourages Maelle to heal; Hazel wants her to continue her descent
History: none
Subtext: Zephyr doesn’t trust Hazel, but doesn’t know why
Arc: from co-conspirators to enemies
Hazel and Dadpilot:
Surface: holiday hook-up
Common ground: interest in Aisland
Conflict: very deliberately, none
History: none
Subtext: he is using her to get into the group; she’s using the group to get to the Aisland; their mutual self-hatred plays out in increasingly rough play
Arc: from lovers to murderer/victim
Zephyr and Giorgio
Surface: helping hand
Common ground: the Aisland
Conflict:
History:
Subtext: he is trying to get into the group, she allows it because she knows he knows/there’s more to him than he’s saying
Arc: from have/have not to equal outlaws
Hazel and Dadpilot:
Surface: acquaintances
Common ground: the conspiracy
Conflict: when she learns, she wants him held accountable, even if it betrays the conspiracy
History: he (accidentally) killed her best friend which triggered the wreck of her known life
Subtext: from both of them: “you’re worthless, why did YOU survive?”
Arc: from casual knowledge to despised to forgiven
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Suzanne’s Intriguing Character Layers Part 2
What I learned doing this assignment is that I just keep doing it! I re-listen to the analyses of the shows, find another way to think about it and re-do it. I also have learned I draw diagrams rather than type all of this out.
Title: Escaping to
Character Name: Zephyr Hughes
Role: the mentor, the guide
Agenda: get everyone to the Aisland
Competition: she doesn’t see any
Conspiracy: they are ALL in this conspiracy
Secret: she will be joining them
Deception: she knows one of the terrorists
Wound: she lost everything by following her guides
Secret ID: the Mystic
Character Name: Hazel Donohougue
Role: the bestie
Agenda: get to the Aisland
Competition: Zephyr, for leadership
Conspiracy: they are ALL in this conspiracy
Secret: she is a killer
Deception: she is going to kill the terrorists
Wound: she was caught in a storm as a child, because she survived and because she can “smell death” on someone, she thinks she is mean to benevolently kill them/end their misery; more recently, being confronted about the number of people who have died on her watch, then being bought off and reviled by her former boss/lover.
Secret ID: an angel of death
Character Name: Maelle MacIntosh
Role: the Sarcastic Sidekick
Agenda: speak her truth and eat herself to death
Competition: she’s beyond it
Conspiracy: they are ALL in this conspiracy; she only commits when she decides she actually wants to live
Secret: she’s a leader
Deception: downplays her skills, understanding and experience
Wound: she lost her best friend in a recent plane wreck, which led to unraveling of all her family relationships
Secret ID: The Commander
Character Name: Giorgio
Role: the Elemental connection
Agenda: get to the Aisland and find his girl
Competition: he doesn’t care
Conspiracy: they are ALL in this conspiracy
Secret: he jumped overboard and his village thinks he’s dead
Deception: he knows that whatever is in the Gulf is enormous and will change the world
Wound: his village pushed him into running away; they wouldn’t let him grow up
Secret ID: Natureboy
Character (Dadpilot)
Role: bon vivant and instigator
Agenda: go with them to the Aisland
Competition: he’s not worried; they are all pawns
Conspiracy: they are ALL in this conspiracy; he is also in a conspiracy to take down the terrorists by using these people to get to the island
Secret: He is a felon who has been blackmailed into this scheme
Deception: He and Hazel hook up.
Wound: He was the pilot who wrecked the plane (that Maelle’s friend was on). He is literally followed by the victims and his own Judge
Secret ID: the Villain (betrayer, murderer, etc.)
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Suzanne’s Character Emotions part 2
What I learned doing this assignment … everytime I do it, I improve it. Things shift and deepen, so hold any conclusions loosely. Also, thought I had five main characters, but I have seven.
Hazel:
Motivational want/need: wants to save the world/prove her former lover/boss wrong. Needs to be right, to be recognized as the “leader” and to be in life/death control
Situational hope/fear: to blend in and be appreciated/to be found out
Base negative: her “specialness” is performance-based, she must deliver or she might “lose” her ability
Mask: compassionate people person, your new best friend
Trigger: people not taking her “advice”
Coping mech: cast aspersions, lie, deny, and keep track
Secret ID: an angel of death
Zephyr:
Motivational want/need: to live inside her destiny; needs to take care of others
Situational hope/fear: that she hasn’t screwed up her life/she’s too late
Base negative: she is flawed, so everyone leaves her
Mask: cool mystic chick with everything figured out
Trigger: someone who doesn’t need help
Coping mech: smother with attention, neediness, overgiving
Secret ID: she’s connected to one of the terrorists
Maelle:
Motivational want/need: to escape the pain; to speak her truth and own herself
Situational hope/fear: that her life could have meaning, even now/that she will be rejected
Base negative: she is too much, physically and emotionally
Mask: determined to kill herself, but with humor and good food and plenty of wisecracks
Trigger: being talked down to, being told to be quiet
Coping mechanism: eat
Secret ID: the Commander
(Dadpilot):
Motivational want/need: to redeem himself/to be forgiven
Situational hope/fear: to pass muster; being found out
Base negative: he should have died, his life is a waste
Mask: mid-life crisis bon vivant
Trigger: any kind of guilt
Coping mechanism: he listens to his internal Judge (who is literally a character following him) or turns to his Handler
Secret ID: the murderer/the spy
Giorgio
Motivational want/need: to find his love
Situational hope/fear: to find his way to her; she wasn’t real OR she is a monster
Base negative: he doesn’t “get” to have a life, he only lives for the village
Mask: indigent but useful runaway teen
Trigger: ticking clocks
Coping mechanism: tries to figure out another way to find her
Secret ID: he knows all the Truths
Mayor:
Motivational want/need: to not be blamed; to keep her city safe
Situational hope/fear: that life returns to normal/there is no more normal
Base negative: she was set up to fail because of race & gender
Mask: efficient & master of her circumstances
Trigger: allll the know-it-all white guys who have descended on the city
Coping mechanism: research and interviews
Secret ID: the primed sacrifice
Handler:
Motivational want/need: to execute this job/justice to be done
Situational hope/fear: that everything has been blown out of proportion, or invented/the world is about to irrevocably change
Base negative: he’s powerless within the system
Mask: super competent, unemotional, professional
Trigger: his wife (who is threatening to become an ex)
Coping mechanism: the city of a thousand great bars and everything is walking distance!
Secret ID: the Eavesdropper
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Suzanne’s Engaging Main Characters
What I learned doing this assignment is how far you can move the needle of a character if you do it incrementally.
1. Five strangers need to get to an outlawed island in the Gulf of Mexico. “Environmental terrorists” are holding the Gulf hostage. New Orleans has become its own state. World governments and international corporations are attempting and failing to regain control.
2. “Harmony” (placeholder name)
A: She is the first POV character, the guide through the slightly distant future, changed NOLA, and drive to get to the Aisland.
B: Her purpose is to unify everyone; her expertise is all things medical. She thinks she can help.
C: She lost her job after “helping” several patients die.
D: Death doesn’t frighten her, she doesn’t see it as an end or something to avoid. She thinks it is the answer in some cases–and will administer it when she feels it’s the answer to bring peace.
E: Since she is guided by her feelings, and they change with circumstances, she’s a bit of a wild card. However, she is aware that her secret needs to stay that way, so is deceptive and tricky.
F: She longs to help, she’s eager to join in, she truly sees people … she seems to be the friend you want in your corner.
2. “Pilot”
A: Blackmailed to be the antagonist and get on the Aisland
B: His expertise is opening doors/finding opportunities (because he is part of the set up). He’s also mechanically skilled.
C: He crashed a plane that killed several passengers, but he ran away instead of helping the survivors. The government will pardon him IF he is the trojan horse onto the Aisland.
D: He lives in shame, but has to keep adding on betrayals and lies in order to maintain his freedom.
E: The deeper he gets in with the group and understanding about the Aisland, the more he dreams of freedom and what it might cost to get it.
F: He is repentant, but scared. He screwed up, he knows it, but there is nothing he can do to make it right. So he’s trying this …
3. Zephyr
A: The mentor. She’s watched the entire saga of the Aisland unfold from her tarot reading spot in NOLA.
B: She’s spooky–psychic skills, native NOLA, reads people.
C: She used to work for one of the “terrorists,” which makes her an international criminal–except in NOLA.
D: She lies; especially to herself.
E: Because she has access to information “from beyond” she reverses decisions, changes direction, flips on people.
F: She lost everything and sees no future, until she decides to go to the Aisland.
Assignment One/Watchmen
Laurie Blake is an antagonist
She is a former superhero turned vigilante hunter with the FBI
She is the former love of Dr. Manhattan; she knows all the “masked man” tricks
She’s living in a personal hell, so does her work to ease that pain. Consequently, she just cares about unmasking, anyone, anywhere. It makes her suspicious, ruthless and very, very effective and amoral.
After leaving a long message, a joke that carries the entire third episode, on Dr Manhattan’s Martian answering service, that ultimately ends in an insult, she is almost killed by his response in dropping space junk on her head … a sign that he heard and still cares. And she laughs with joy. After 30 years of messages, he’s responded.
She is and broken hearted and hopeless, jilted by her lover and forced to create a whole new self because of it. Her loneliness is masked by being a badass, and we see that.
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Suzanne’s Three Circles of Characters
What I learned: how to build around what I haven’t yet chosen/realized, but move still forward (which is why my descriptions aren’t sentences)
Main: Zephyr, ABD ornithologist/birdpunker, current Tarot card reader & psychic; hiding from her destiny
(Harmony) tourist, former ER nurse, needs a community
(Crone) walks away from her white, Southern, encastled life when she bites her tongue–literally–in half, in another attempt to go along to get along
(Dad Pilot) bought and lost the American dream; needs a vision
(Natureboy) connected to nature, off-step with culture, protected by his village who follow him
Connected: N’awlins community (2-3), airport allies (2-3), Italian village, church set(1-3), container ship crew, Elementals, Aislanders
Environment: all the forces of antagonism: gov’t, corp., military, community, religious; a few voices of support
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Watchmen Character Circles
Note: I don’t think all main characters have been introduced by Ep 2
Main characters: Angela, Crawford ?, ?
Connected circle: Glass, Red, Will, Jane, Sen Joe, Topher & girls, (Jeremy Irons)
Environment: Tulsa community, Redford politicos, American Hero Story show, police force, Nixon/Kavalry, Dr Manhattan play & bots, family ties, all diff histories
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Watchmen 5-Star Model
1) Shape of the show
Bass Reese/hero in a mask reel: Justice vs. Law concept
Tulsa Massacre in 1921/boy escapes and lives
Traffic stop attack; masks. Beginning of not-our-history details (the story swings back and forth between our “comfort zone” and “new world”)
OKLAHOMA on stage (comfort)
Intro Police Chief: WHY START AGAIN? (new)
Intro Baker, who orients us that it’s a completely different history since ’21
Old man at baker’s shop: think I can lift 200 lbs? (random)
Intro the Kavalry and literal ticking clock
Intro cops/ritual/routine/expectations (new)
Three years of peace, post “white night” /firearms release
Baker is (still) a cop, personal/familiar with chief
Cattle ranch raid … disproportionate reactions (suicide over batteries?) Fake death moment, ends in laughter (Angela, Crawford & Pirate) but it’s foreshadowing
“Master” (Jeremy Irons) in a castle attended by robots? Hints on longevity/health
A night so sweet, it must be the last? (Family dinner with Crawford, Angela, etc.)
Crawford set-up … alone, long drive, busted tires
Angela sees (Maybe) the little boy, now old man, with a lynched Crawford (200 lbs?)
(Particularly macabre OKLAHOMA lyrics. Genius placement!)
2)Second watching, beyond the obvious, is in bold.
What I learned doing this assignment is: How to start an inferno!
Just like the little boy watching the show at the beginning, no one is safe. Everyone is playing the piano, anticipating the sounds of chaos. Everyone in the show, good and bad, black, white, and other, is waiting for the match to hit the tinder. We see the tinder is piled, but we don’t know how it got there. We see the match lit, but we don’t understand ALL the implications. And in the death of Crawford, we see the match thrown.
The Big Hook: honestly, even seeing it twice (and I binged it when it came out, too) there’s nothing that is NOT a hook. The world is familiar, but strange; the characters are one thing, but pretending to be another–across the board! There’s a history we don’t know, but we see inklings. There’s a past confrontation we saw (in the prologue) and one we haven’t seen but it changed everything, and a future confrontation looming. I think the biggest hook is: no matter what I expect, something different –with an escalation– happens. The Big Hook is: HOW is this going to burn?
Amazing and intriguing characters:
Everyone has a secret side. Everyone is extremely at ease in their world and competent at what they are doing. There’s a lot of affection between the characters, which feels nice in this new and odd world. And yet, who are they and how did they get (how did we get/diverge to) here? No one is who they appear to be.
Empathy and distress:
The first scene absolutely nails this with a small boy getting spirited out of the Tulsa massacre in 1921. The final scene doubles down on these feelings because we have come to trust the bond between Crawford and Angela and realize nothing will be the same. A sense of last call–It’s subtext in all the connected moments–their determined pursuit of normal– and in all of the conflict ones, because the stakes are rising.
Layers and open loops: an easy answer, because the entire episode asked about 150 questions and only answered one. And that may not even be the answer, just something we piece together … but the biggest open loop is: who is a hero and who is an outlaw when both wear masks?
Layers. Each of these has its own layers: character, history, families, city, police dept., political, 7K, heritage, identity, story that’s being told, by whom, to whom, rituals, routines, objectives, what’s valued, what’s normal …
How does this invite obsession? Well, the lyrics of OKLAHOMA get stuck in your head, lol. Beyond that, there are just so many questions, so many details in the visuals that make you say, wait, what? The approaching disaster, and if it started with the Tulsa Massacre, how much worse is it going to be? And you already care so much about the characters. Feel for them. There is the obvious cliffhanger, but it means so much more because the whole episode showed us how personal and intimate this relationship was, so it hurts worse. We want to know how these people came to be connected, how that fits together with everything else. We want to know the history that has shaped these people. We want to know who the hell the old dude in the castle with the androids (?) is, and what’s the obsession with watches. There’s technology that’s different, nature that’s different (squid squalls?) and on and on. But mostly, we want to know who killed Crawford and what it means for Angela … Actually, the ONLY thing we know from watching episode one is: the fire starts now. Everything else is still a question.
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Hi, I’m Suzanne Frank. I’ve published ten books and taught adults how to write novels for decades. However, I’ve only written a few screenplays (one through the awesome Profound class here!) I am verrrry excited to up-level my thinking, skills, and writing. My last series gave me a platform on which to build a bingeable watch and that’s what I’ll be doing. I also create a “soundtrack” for every project and this one is starting with Bridgerton tunes.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Suzanne Frank.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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J. Suzanne Frank
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J. Suzanne Frank
I agree to the terms of this release form.