[Tarina Swanepoel]

Hi Joan! Tx again for your notes and suggestion with the grammer, I am looking in to it.

I loved your concept and really feel for the people that loose everything. I have a question though – if people in the same area with the same bank are losing all their houses will it not start to raise red flags for the authorities. Also how is Ansaca able to get away seemingly too easy.

1. The concept: A wannabe ninja takes on a corrupt banking institution that preys on its members and cons them out of their life savings through the housing market. This is an exceptionally relevant and relatable antagonist and conflict, and I’d love to see the bad guy lose.

There are one or two scenes that I am unsure about, the switch with the alcohol is one but I see that some of them were addressed by Cameron so I will not hammer on them again as I am sure you are busy sorting them out.

Other than that it was a great read and great concept and would love to read it once it is finished.

Keep well

Tarina

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Hi Cameron

Tx again for your valuable feedback.

In the beginning the concept was strange for me but it grew on me up to the point where I was continuously thinking about it. So well done, great job.

I liked the sci-fi element with the added religion and society caste system I think it have a lot of potential.

Adam however was a bit vague for me. Like not villian enough. I wanted to be more frightened, I needed him to be more powerful.

Otherwise I think the rest will sort itself out as you proceed in your writing.

I would love to read it when you are finished.

Great job!

Tarina

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Hi Joan

Tx so much for your insightful and valuable feedback.

First of all I am using another language so I will update my spelling software. TX

I am glad you enjoyed some of the scenes. Nina are vomiting and are sick as a result of the side effect to the code that were programmed into her brain (the side effect was not intentional but because the program was still no finished but they ran out of time) She knew about the code but only had access to it once her life was put in danger by the killing program. I am still figuring out the details there.

As to your other notes, tx xo much I will look into it.

I was without internet for quite some time but will look at your outline and send it back to you as soon as possible.

Tx

Tarina

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Hi Cameron

Thank you for your valuable and insightful feedback. I will make sure to look into your valid points. ( I had not watched any of those movies so I will make sure to watch them)

Regarding your feedback. I hope to send it to you soon. I was without internet for some time but will try and catch up.

Tx again

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Are there anyone still available for feedback please.

Tarina

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Outline – THE HUNT

I am ready to exchange feedback with someone please.

1. OPENING

V23 Millionaire maniac using a global assassination program to take over the economy, politics, and power in the world.

V4 The global assassination program is already working – he can give assassination orders to ordinary people with subliminal waves through the internet. This makes every person a weapon.

A1 Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.

A3 A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what happened.

A4 A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.

A5 A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.

A2 Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins that report on the incidents above)

2. THE INCITING INCIDENT

V1 Krueger have a plan and it is in place before the Nina knows it.

V2 He have unlimited money and resources.

V3 Unlimited bad guys to fulfil the hitman contract.

V16 He has an elaborate plan to take her out before she can shut down the program.

M11 Krueger uses everyday people to hunt her down as well as all his contacts and money. He has unlimited resources

M4 Krueger knows she have the code in her head that can destroy the global assassination program that his father forced her parents to develop.

Pre-Action

· Create the need for action.

The government are also hunting her, they found out about the code and the program, and that Krueger is using the program for the recent assassinations. They don’t want to destroy it; they want to use it and they need to kill or capture her to prevent her from destroying the program. She doesn’t need to unlock the code. She already have it but now Krueger and the government are hunting her, each for its own purpose.

Employee of government report to senior about assassinations over the last 48 hours that are questionable…

Especially after a British minister was in a fatal accident. Camera footage inside the car shows the security detail calmly shooting the driver and then the minister and then just sit in the car till apprehended. He is currently in custody for questioning and can’t even remember doing it.

Senior takes it up the command – this confirms their suspicions about Krueger’s global assassination program being used. They know about it because of the information that Nina gave them when she escaped and turned witness against Krueger’s father. They were however under the impression that Nina’s parents were developing it, but that it was destroyed with them when Nina escaped. Nina also told them that there are a kill code to the program should someone else develop it from the scraps that’s left.

They Need to infiltrate Krueger and steal the program and destroy his copy. The government want to use it as their own weapon. But they don’t know Krueger’s base – he moved underground to a new facility after the incarceration of his father and even after all the fortunes that his family lost because of it – he still had millions in offshore accounts that they could not trace and therefore he were able to start again and this time even bigger than his father. They have been tracking him and his operations for a while but are unable to make leeway.

They need to find Nina to make sure she does not destroy the program with the code.

They then want to use her as bait to find Krueger.

They sent a team of three operatives that she knows and trust (they protected her during the pre-trail and afterwards) to bring her in.

They are dispatched to her location – the government kept tabs on her (she did not know)

A6 Attacked by civilians several times on her way to work. Krueger knew her route to work as well as her routine, he used people using the same route to attack her.

A7 It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of 54321 that fades away into a jumble of numbers.

A8 She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…

Looking in the bathroom mirror the flashbacks and hearing her mother’s voice are now mixed with images from her past. She is in clear discomfort and still being sick. Conversations with her parents, telling her to always be ready to flee, always have more than one route out… flashes of Krueger’s lab with her and her parents in it…. Flashes of a much younger her running, fleeing, and crying, shots fired and fires ablaze behind her. Trying to take control she washes her face and take some deep breaths. Take a cap, wig, jacket, and sunglasses out of the bag. Cash and passports as well as a cell phone are seen in the bag.

3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT

4.

M7 She needs to find the operatives that kept her save after she escaped waiting to testify against Krueger’s father. She trusts them to watch her back while she figures out what are going on.

She is on a train, still violently ill, vomiting and now with headache and still dizziness and confusion. Flashbacks are stronger and stronger. She takes out the phone switch it on and dial the only number in the contact list – saying one word before shutting it off. She passes out again. More of her past are remembered as well as the new flashback of the bar of candy and her mother’s voice. (Her mother explaining the buried code)

She is looking sicker than before… the flashes are violently and continuous at this stage. The train stops and she stumbles out… almost faint as steps onto the platform. People are looking strangely at her. She mumbles and continue her way bumps into a strong body. Arms take hold of her as she finally faints and carry her away. Three men are seen around her – confusion, concern and anger in their voices and behaviour.

She comes too and are still confronted with her mother’s voice and the flashes. Vomits. Some more memories from her past. She explains to the men what happened. It becomes clear that they were the ones protecting her after her escape from the lab and before she gave evidence to put Krueger’s father away

A9 Krueger finds out that she is still alive…Facial recognition software recognised her even with the wig and sunglasses. Find them, use all assets available at her last known location.

One of his thugs – start to follow them. He and one of the operatives clearly look at each other with recognition. Something is brewing here. Find the operatives that protected her last time and kill them… put a bounty on her head. The bounty is an insane amount to kill her, but it will also pay for each operative taken out. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY

Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away, the code was put there by her parents as a failsafe to the program. She now knows it is in use now because of what the operatives told her, and she must stop it. Being sick is a side effect that her parents did not know will happen when they programmed the code into her brain. It also makes it difficult for her to understand what to do to unlock the full code.

M5 For Krueger this is not only about the code in her head. It is also personal for him. He also wants to avenge his father’s imprisonment and death. He uses all his money, contacts, and the global assassination program to hunt her down.

V13 He knows her parents created the global assassination program and gave up their lives so that she could escape and stop the program.

V14 He hates her guts for escaping and he knows how intelligent she is and that the kill code to his program is with her…his father always thought that she was more valuable than he was.

V17 He knows that she was the one to lead the government to capture his father and provide the evidence needed to lock him in prison for life. So, his father valued her more than him, yet she was the one that lead to his imprisonment. Even after that his father always talked of her capabilities in awe. He is jealous of her.

V18 He also keeps her responsible for the death of his father in prison. (His father’s death pushed him over his last bit of sanity and as revenge on the world he wants to fulfil his father’s wish to use the global assassination program to reshape the world economy, politics, and power. Their family will be reborn and reshape the world to his wishes. Even in death he still wants to show his father his worth.

V10 He knows her very well as he was the only other kid in the underground lab where she and her parents were held captive, and he would use to torment her for his own pleasure.

V11 He was part of her trauma back then by bullying her to win his father’s approval.

V15 He knows all her weaknesses as well as all her trauma and he intend to use it in every way he can.

In their last encounter he almost beat her to death and tried to rape her to degrade her and make her brake to his will. In bad shape she fights him off and end up thrusting a paper knife into his groin. His father laughs at his poor attempt of being a man… of having power. She flees shortly after the incident while he is still in the lab’s sick bay. Lost his manhood.

M2 Her parents died to give her a chance to escape and deliver the evidence so that Krueger’s father can be put away in prison.

M3 After years in captivity, she loves the freedom of her new world that came at a terrible cost. Only now it is threatened by the son of the man that held her captive all those years ago – now he uses the world she loves to hunt her down.

A10While in a coffee shop one of the operative excuses himself to the bathroom, when he walks in the thug from the train station looks back at him from the mirror and nods before walking out. While she is still searching on the internet for the flashback 54321 the operative comes back from the bathroom, and shortly thereafter they are attacked by several of Krueger’s operatives. They escape into the tube station.

EXT/INT. TRAIN STATION – MORNING

Nina and the operatives hurry down the steps into the overcrowded underground station. Hurriedly the operatives conceal their weapons. They stand positioned around Nina and Bruce move to a higher part of the steps to have over watch.

CUT TO:

INT. KRUEGER’S LAB – MORNING

Several monitors flicker with facial recognition programs running. Suddenly one of them sound an alarm and zoom in on Nina, Aron and Sly’s faces. Krueger jumps up excitedly from a plush chair and small table where he was eating a healthy breakfast of scones, fruit, coffee, and orange juice.

KRUEGER

That’s them! Find the third operative!

The program scans through all the passengers waiting for the incoming train. Sly is looking back at the steps where several people are shouting in anger because the are pushed aside by the thugs chasing them.

CUT TO

EXT/INT. TRAIN STATION – MORNING

Bruce quickly moves to the side of the steps and with a quick flick of his knife punctures heart of the first operative that passes him from the steps to the platform. The man silently bend over, and Bruce gently let him slide to the side of the steps. He moves away immediately.

CUT TO:

INT. KRUEGER’S LAB – MORNING

This action however draws the focus of the program and another alarm start to sound in the lab. The four people file into the train with several other passengers. The operatives bang against the closed train doors as they are too late to enter.

KRUEGER

Activate the program. Kill them! Kill them now!

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN CAR – MORNING

Nina slumps into a seat with Aron and Bruce next to her. Sly moves away from them but keep standing so that he have a clear view of both sides of the car.

NINA

How did they find us so quickly?

BRUCE

Fuck knows! Sly I am getting sick of these bastards. We have to change the deck. We are fighting with one hand tied behind our backs.

Before Sly can answer – some people that where previously shown on their phones, suddenly start to attack them.

ARON

SHIT!

For a moment the operatives and Nina watch as a zombie apocalypse start to come down on them. Even an old lady knitting try to stab Sly with her knitting needle. Sly pushes her away without much effort. A young group of FOUR typical black gangster youths pull a various array of knives and guns, and the operatives snap back to action. As they start shooting, Bruce clips two of them in the head and Aron knocks another one to the ground with a knee to the groin and a fist to the face. Nina screams. They all whip around to see several people climbing onto her. Like a rugby scrum falling. An older man in a striped suit and with a red tie, strangles her from behind. She claws at his eyes, but her hands and arms are pulled away almost tearing them from her body. She screams in agony. Aron shoots the last of the remaining youths. Sly and Bruce struggles to pull the people from Nina. She is starting to turn blue around her lips and her eyes are wide with panic and fear. Sly takes aim and shoot the man in the suit between the eyes. Blood and brain matter spray over Nina and the people on top of her. He slumps down and disappear under the sea of bodies. Nina pulls air into her lungs, screaming in pain at the same time as a sharp object enters her leg. The three operatives start to disentangle the heap of flesh around Nina. They knock unconscious, stab and shoot their way through sea of bodies. People start to fall to the ground as suddenly the whole train accelerates causing the last people around Nina to bounce around the car injuring themselves.

BRUCE

I’ll check it out!

Moves to the front of the train through the last two cars where people are screaming in fear.

ARON

Picking Nina up moves into the next car and Sly shuts the door into several people’s faces. Struggling they try to open the door from the other side still trying to kill them. Several people fall to the tracks between the two cars as the people shove them from behind. He see a lady holding a folded umbrella. He shoves it through the handles of the door. They train is now going full speed and people screaming deafens out the noise of the whipping wind from the outside. Aron are checking Nina for injuries and with a piece of his shirt tie a bandage around her leg.

BRUCE

Enters the conductor’s compartment by shooting out the window and opening the door. The driver looks around and try to stop him. Bruce hit him behind the head with the butt of his gun and he slumps back in his seat. His hand hovers over the control for a moment looking as if he is going to increase the speed even further, just as Sly sticks his head in from behind.

SLY

Can you stop it?

BRUCE

Looking annoyed.

Just about too.

He start to gently pull back on the lever. Decreasing speed till the train comes to a complete standstill. A moment of dead silence are heard in the dark tunnel, before a commotion erupts from behind them. Several shots are heard with people screaming.

SLY

Shit!

They swiftly move to the train car with Aron and Nina. The same scene greets them as before. Aron are pushed against the doors shielding Nina from the crowd with his body. Sly sprints start to shoot just behind Aron and Nina, the emergency escape glass shatters. Bruce and Sly fight their way through the crowd to Aron and Nina. As they keep the people off Aron helps Nina out the window before the other two follow. Without talking they start to fall back to the back of the train. As they pass the train car were the first attack happened, they can see several dead and mangled bodies. Nina gasps and just then one person see them and start to follow them on the inside of the car never breaking eye contact. Aron takes aim and with one shot shatters the window before the second brings him down in his tracks. They quickly move along and vanish in the darkness behind the train.

MIDPOINT

M16 Can she trust the operatives to keep her safe, can she trust her own abilities? Fight and run, fight, and run. She keeps getting new flashbacks and each new one makes her violently ill. Is she interpreting the pieces correctly? Suddenly she starts to get the first flashback again. Did she screw up?

EXT/INT. CAR CHASE – AFTERNOON

Several cars are chasing the car with NINA and the operatives. BRUCE are driving. A silver car hangs back ARON sits next to him, shooting away at the black car next to them and hitting the driver in the head. The black car loses control and with a wild turn runs into a metal pole bringing it to a complete standstill.

BRUCE

Grunts …in annoyance.

From behind Bruce SLY stops shooting at the black car hanging on to their taillights and look across him to NINA. Nina are looking weak, dehydrated and dishevelled. With every movement of the car, she are tossed about. She looks at him pleadingly. The next moment the black car rams into them from behind as a white bakkie ram them from the side. Nina and Sly slams into the front seats and Aron into the dash.

SLY

Shit!!! Bruce you need to lose these guys now!

BRUCE

Gritting through his teeth.

Trying bro…

Aron motion to Bruce to speed up. As they catch up with the white bakkie and he sprays it with bullets ripping through their windows and windshield. It shatters all over the two thugs inside. The one in the passenger seat turns around and start to fire through the now vacant back window.

ARON

Bruce get met closer!

Bruce looks into his side mirror seeing the silver car hanging back just behind the black car who are trying to push him from the left side into the white bakkie, he step on the petrol speeding them forward.

ARON

Pull the pin from a grenade and toss it onto the back of the bakkie.

Brace!

Seeing the grenade, Bruce brake with force leaving the black car and white bakkie serving into each other just as the grenade explodes. Flames erupt and several fragments and pieces of car are propelled into them and their surrounding area. He swerves to miss a piece of tire and turn into the next side street. Now it is only the silver car left.

SLY

Slaps Aron from the back on his shoulder.

Nice tossing A!

He looks back making sure no one else are following them.

Were clean.

Nina looks relieved.

NINA

No more surprises can Krueger just get the message and back off.

The silver car catches up to them and pull in next to them matching their speed. Nina SCREAMS, pointing at the silver car.

Look out!

As he passes Bruce and the driver nods to each other, and he move in front of their car. Bruce reduces his speed and start to follow the silver car.

ARON

He could have helped a bit you know…

SLY

Give it a rest A.

NINA

What are going on, shy are we following that car. That are one of Krueger’s men, he was just shooting at us minutes ago!

PAUSES a moment.

Guys?

Confusion are clear on her face. The three operatives ignore her. Bruce looks back at her in the mirror making eye contact but don’t acknowledge her in any way. Sly just look at her and the look at Aron who is looking back at him. Realization dawns on Nina’s face, disbelief, horror and shock alternates on her face.

NO!

She fumbles with her seatbelt and at the same time reaches out to open the door. Sly in one smooth moment slides across her seat and pull the fighting Nina away from the door.

SLY

NINA!

She are weak but fights on, pushing and hitting him wherever she find a open spot. He blocks her blows and then pull her into his chest holding her arms down next to her body. She thrashes against him and kicks Aron from behind. Aron catches her legs and hold them tight between the two seats. Realizing the futility of her attempt to escape she stops her thrashing but SCREAMS in frustration. The operatives keep their hold. The car turns into an old factory yard and pull into the abandoned factory, parking inside the building together with the silver car. Nina start to vomit but there are no fluids left in her body and dry RETCHING sounds fill the sudden silence. The operatives let go of her and file out of the car. Bruce locks the car and they meet up with the thug. Nina watches in horror as they shake hands and talk like long lost buddies. Why did they betray her, was it for the money? How can this be.

NINA

Mumbles softly to herself, defeat and hurt showing on her face.

How could they? Money?

A sob mixed with a sound struggling to breathe leave her body as she slumps back into the seat. Bruce unlocks the car and open her car door. Nina scoots back away from him, only to land into the arms of Aron who opened the other door. He pulls her from the car.

ARON

Nina, will you calm down.

With fury she pulls her arm out of his grasp and without looking at him or Bruce walks to Sly who is motioning her into a room. She marches past him with her last strength hanging only on because she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing that they have won. They broke her spirit with this betrayal.

As she walks inside she looks for any possible means of escape. The room are dishevelled but clean and clearly lived in. The secondhand furniture have seen better days, but she can see no obvious ways of escape. The thug turns from a cupboard holding a medical kit. He smiles and start to prepare a drip bag. Sly pushes her down in the only armchair available.

Sly, Aron and Bruce position themselves around her.

SLY

Nina you may know this man…

Thug turns around and remove his baseball cap, wig and glasses. Nina looks at him a moment and shakes her head.

Look again Nina.

She lifts her head looking at him.

He is one of Krueger’s men, you may remember him as a much younger man.

THUG

Moves slowly to the chair while taking out a packet of salt and vinegar crisps.

I used to guard you and your parents in the lab.

NINA

Confusion and then recognition followed by disgust spread over her face.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LAB – THAT MOMENT

A young Nina is sitting on a chair next to a big machine. With hate on her face, she looks on as a guard brutally shoves her malnourished father to the machine. You know the drill professor. No work, no child… He moves over to her and take out a pack of crisps. He opens it just under her nose. Knowing what would come next she holds her breath… 1sec…2sec…3 sec… 10sec… she inhales sharply, and her nose are immediately filled with the flavour of salt and vinegar crisps. Her mouth fills up with saliva and she try not to swallow it back as she know it will give him so much satisfaction. She try not to inhale a second time but again the salty, vinegary smell reach through her nostrils into the deepest part of her sensory organs. A deep rumble from her tummy makes the guard laugh out loud. A handful of crisps make it into his mouth just inches away from her face. She can hear the crunchiness and almost taste them. Her eyes never leaves his face… she will not give in. With laughter he empties the packet in front of her, then shakes the last crumbs out on her lap… shoving the empty packet into his pocket he moves off to the side of the room. She takes a quick swallow before he turns around to face them again.

INT. LAB – LATER

Nina are still sitting in the same chair. She balances the crumbs of the crisps on her lap, hating herself for it. The guard moves from his post and shoves her father to the side.

GUARD

Enough!

Nina cringes inside. This time… this time she will win. Stopping in front of her the guard unfolds the crisp bag. Opening it the smell immediately fills the air around them. He waves the bag in front of her, waiting for her to grab it. She know he will only snatch it away, so she move to sit on her hands and see the crumbs fell to the floor. This makes the guard laugh so hard.

GUARD

Tony! Hey Tony come check this out.

A second guard enters the room, he clearly knows the drill. She feel the red haze of anger and embarrassment washing over her face. She catches her mother’s eye and the light shake of her head. She inhales deeply in an effort to stop the trembling of her body and mind and again inhales the heavenly smell of salt and vinegar. The guards laugh and as they leave the room the first guard tosses the packet on the ground and step on it, while still looking at her. As the door closes she scrambles off the chair deaf to the pleas of her parents, she scoops up the packet and settles in a corner. Placing the packet around her mouth and nose she savours every breath. With her delicate fingers she slowly reach into the corners of the packet and tease the last crumbs out of their hiding spaces. As she suck them off her finger a tear rolls down her face. He won again. She tosses the packet away from her feeling ashamed and angry unable to look at her parents, she curls up into a ball, hearing the door open she know the guard will know he won. Again.

NINA

YOU! She spat the word out at him.

THUG

Nina you have no reason to trust me, but please just listen to me out.

PAUSES and takes a deep breath.

You may not believe me, but I hope you do. You parents gave me a word for this day. Cuddle Snuggles

NINA

Draws in her breath sharply and if possible she turned from green to white. Confusion, and memories flood her face.

No! That is impossible! That is our safe phrase…

THUG

My friend, your father gave it to me the day I helped you escape. The day I saw him and your mom die, unable to help them. The day I promised to protect you like my own.

NINA

Screaming

You were never his friend!

Spat in his face!

You hated us! You were the worst of them all!

THUG

Yes, I were. I were the worst of them all, but I never physically harmed them and always, always had their backs. Somehow me and your father clicked we became friends and to hide that friendship and everything I smuggled into them, to you I had to be the meanest mother fucker so that no one would suspect anything and so that they would keep posting me there as part of the mind games that they played with your family. At least with me your parents always knew what to expect and they knew that every time you left that room I would keep an eye out for you as far as possible.

And that day of your escape, if not for me causing a diversion you would never have escaped. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life, because I knew they would die in the process. There was no other way.

Takes a deep breath.

I have been keeping watch over you ever since. I promised your parents to give you a normal life to give you space but to always watch over you. I stayed in business with Krueger’s father and after his capture stayed on with Krueger himself so that I could see the danger coming and be prepared. Since these guys started protecting you at the pre-trial hearings, I made contact with them, and we have all been looking out for you since then.

NINA

Breaths deeply in and out. This is too much. Her head is spinning, and she is so confused. First the attacks, then the flashbacks, memories, the puzzles and now this… With shaking hands and legs feeling like rubber she pushes herself from the chair and the salt and vinegar smell overwhelms her again… With her hand in front of her mouth she looks frantically for the bathroom.

THUG

Indicating a door.

This way.

NINA

Stumbles to the bathroom. Retching and vomiting can be heard and then quiet.

BRUCE

With concern on his face.

This might have been too much for her.

SLY

Slams his fist into the table in front of him. Frustration and guilt washes over his face.

Damn! We did not have a choice. We need a break, and we need to figure this out and Ben can help with both. It was time to play open cards.

ARON

Guys!

Aron is bending over Nina in the bathroom. She is having a full-blown panic attack. Shaking, sweating and breathing fast and with shallow gasps she sits on the bathroom floor hugging herself tightly. Aron sits down next to her and effortlessly pulls her onto his lap. His arms wraps around her, and he start to speak to her in a soft and comforting manner.

Ok girl, I’ve got you. Deep breath, deep breath. It’s ok.

All of the operatives file into the bathroom, concern and guilt clear on their faces. Ben comes in with a glass of liquid and a brown paper bag.

BEN

Handing the items to Aron.

It will help with the shock. I think it is best if I stay outside for now.

ARON

Holds the glass to Nina’s lips and help her to drink it. All the time talking very calmly to her.

SLY

You stay with her A; we will go and catch up with Ben.

ARON

Nods and pushes her head back into his shoulder. Holding the brown paper bag in front of her mouth he help her to take deep and calming breaths. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone.

How about some calming tunes?

He moves his finger over an internet screen searching for music.

CUT TO:

INT. FACTORY – NOON

Ben and the remaining operatives sit around the table.

SLY

So, explain to me how this fuck can target us the whole time. I get the facial software, but the civilians at Nina’s office and that shit on the train had nothing to do with facial recognition.

BEN

So, this program that Nina’s parents created. It can target anyone through the internet, using subluminal orders it can control them. They don’t understand what they are doing – like a person sleep walking.

So basically, if you are on the net and the device have a camera eye, you are vulnerable to become a puppet.

BRUCE

You’re shitting me!

SLY

Why the hell would they develop such shit?

BEN

This was one of several projects they worked on. They were probably the best scientists of their time and remember they were under constant duress since her birth. This program were actually never finished. We planned the escape before they could finish and as a failsafe they programmed the kill code into Nina’s brain. I was the only one that knew about it, but since the program were unfinished I had no concern about it.

SLY

So how the hell did they start to use it if it was never finished and how did you not know this in time.

BEN

Well as always Krueger sent me away to make the rounds at all his different facilities. It takes more than a while and I have to keep an eye on Nina as well. He started using the program in that time and I only found out yesterday when I checked in. Regarding the program he found another scientist and a Russian whizz kid with computers. Between the two of them and they are as crazy as Krueger, they figured out the glitches and made some of their own tweaks. So instead of just controlling people they programmed it to become a weapon.

BRUCE

So basically anyone, anywhere, anytime

can become an assassin.

A moment of silence follows as they try to absorb this information. Aron with his arm around a still shaking Nina walks in. He blinks rapidly in the bright light of the room and for a moment only looks a bit dazed. He shakes his head and lead Nina back to the chair. He joins the guys at the table and Sly brings him up to speed. Bruce moves over to Nina with the medical kit and start to administer some medicine and fluids to her for the vomiting and dehydration.

ARON

Moves to the fridge and takes out a soft drink, as he snaps open the can he seems a bit off. He takes a long drink and then calmly throws it in the air. The spinning can spew its content all over the room. Sly and Bruce reaches for their guns and aim at the can. In one smooth motion Aron pulls his gun and start shooting. One bullet hits Bruce centre mass and he drops down like a puppet whose strings are cut. Sly tips Nina and the chair over, he and Ben start to fire at Aron who are now turning to concentrate his fire on Nina.

SLY

What the FUCK Aron!

BEN

It’s no use! we need to go.

He pulls a smoke grenade and throws it under the table. Moments later the room is thick with smoke. Through the hazy smoke Aron ejects his clip and reload. Stepping over Bruce’s body without even glancing at him. Screeching tires can be heard moving away from the factory. He look calmly at their car with two flat tires. A series of lights start to rapidly blink in the corners of the room. He see it and quickly but deliberately leave the factory. He is only a few steps away when there are a huge explosion filling the sky with flames, smoke and debris. He are thrown into the air onto the gravel in front of the factory.

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT

M15 Now they are also hunted by their own. He stays hot on their heels and more than once almost succeeds in taking them out. When he almost succeeds and his team must kill him, they understand the futility of what they are trying to do. They lost two of their own and the rest of Krueger’s men are still hot on their heels, just a few steps behind the operative. There is no time to mourn their losses. They also suspect that the government wants to use Nina can they still bring her in?

6. CRISIS/DILEMMA

M17 After she got the whole code, she tries to enter it into a computer, but nothing happens. As they are in an internet café all the customers turn on them. Clearly the program is still working. The code does not work just entering it into a computer. All was in vain. Enemies are closing in fast. They realise that it must be entered into the main frame. The noose around them are growing tighter and the government did not send in reinforcements, they sent in hunters.

M19 All operatives are either dead or gravely wounded.

M18 She realizes she must go to the facility where she was imprisoned with her parents.

M20 She must do this alone… the thug helps her to get in but can’t go with her further as he is fighting off a force of Krueger’s operatives. She panics when entering the facility realising that Krueger never moved his base of operations but just fortified and protected it to the point where no satellite imagery or heat signatures can show up anywhere. Overwhelmed with all her memories, her dark past and fear for Krueger she are captured.

.

V19 Krueger are overjoyed with having her captured alive and call off his operatives…this is her nightmare came true again. She must face him again in the facility where she was held capture with her parents. How vengeful Krueger are comes to light when they come face to face.

V12 He would watch with his father as she and her parents were manipulated and tortured to do his father’s diabolical work.

7. CLIMAX

V8 The mind games and torture immediately start again.

A16 She falls apart being tormented with her past showing the final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as her and Krueger’s last alteration when he tried to rape her. He clearly has plans for her, now that he has her he are first going to get his revenge and have her die slowly. She is no longer a threat to his plans. Krueger shows his final plans thinking that he has won as well as all his contempt for her. He tortures her physically and emotionally.

M21 She finds a way to clear her mind as she hears the voices of her parents urging her on. The guard that helped her in the past comes into the lab, Krueger welcomes him not knowing that he is on her side. He behaves as if on Kreuger’s side… (the audience now wonder if it were not an elaborate trap) He claims that he caught her and first had to fight off the last operative who is now dead. Krueger rewards him with a big suitcase of cash that he accepts. He asks if he can watch Krueger torturing her, Krueger diabolically laughs as he consents as it will even be more rewarding if the guard watch the torturing and he plans on raping her. He even promises if he is done with her the guard can get in on the action.

Just as it seems hopeless the guard knocks Krueger unconscious and free her before he can kill Krueger several operatives are heard coming to the lab. He urges her to find the mainframe as he will lead the guards away.

A17 She finds a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.

A18 Krueger comes to and realizes that she is gone, and the program is destroyed, also that the facility is in the process of being destroyed. Alarms blaring, smoke and fires etc. He truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.

M23 Out of his mind with rage after the program was destroyed Krueger starts beats her to a pulp and drag her to a room. The same room where she was kept and where he tried to rape her. Now she must face the maniac in the lab where she was tortured and kept as a kid.

A19 He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.

M24 She breaks down unable to think, giving up the will to live and fight back. She just wants it to end.

A20 With horror she see a young woman/girl inside the same room and also being experimented on. He shows her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.

M25 Through a glass panel she sees a girl being used in the same manner as she was as a kid.

M26 This fills her with rage, she confronts her fears, her past and uses that anger to unleash hell on the lab.

A21 It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. She is completely brainwashed, a true killing machine. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.

8. RESOLUTION

V20 There she would fight all the trauma and demons from her past and kill the maniac son and destroy all that is left of him in the world.

M27 Killing the maniac, burning everything to the ground trying to save the girl.

V21 He will die just as his father did without leaving a family power dynasty to rule the world. He will die knowing he failed.

A22 The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.

A23 The world is saved from the assassination program. It came at a price… She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?

[Tarina Swanepoel]

EXT/INT. CAR CHASE – AFTERNOON

Several cars are chasing the car with NINA and the operatives. BRUCE are driving. A silver car drived by the thug hangs back in the chase. ARON sits next to him, shooting away at the black car next to them and hitting the driver in the head. The black car looses control and with a wild turn runs into a metal pole bringing it to a complete standstill.

BRUCE

Grunts …in annoyance.

From behind Bruce SLY stops shooting at the black car hanging on to their tail lights and look across him to NINA. Nina are looking weak, dehydrated and disheveled. With every movement of the car she are tossed about. She looks at him pleadingly. The next moment the black car rams into them from behind as a white bakkie ram them from the side. Nina and Sly slams into the front seats and Aron into the dash.

SLY

Shit!!! Bruce you need to loose these guys now!

BRUCE

Gritting through his teeth.

Trying bro…

Aron motion to Bruce to speed up. As they catch up with the white bakkie he sprays it with bullets ripping through their windows and windshield. The once smooth white sides shatters into pockmarks bursting glass and shrapnel all over the road and the thugs inside. The one in the passenger seat turns around and start to fire through the now vacant back window.

ARON

Bruce get met closer!

Bruce looks into his side mirror seeing the silver car hanging back just behind the black car who are trying to push him from the left side into the white bakkie, he step on the petrol some more speeding them forward.

ARON

Pull the pin from a grenade and toss it onto the back of the bakkie.

Brace!

Seeing the grenade, Bruce brake with force leaving the black car and white bakkie serving into each other just as the grenade explodes. Flames erupt and several fragments and pieces of car are propelled into them and their surrounding area. He swerves to miss a piece of tire and turn into the next side street. Now it is only the silver car left.

SLY

Slaps Aron from the back on his shoulder.

Nice tossing A!

He looks back making sure no one else are following them.

Were clean.

Nina looks relieved.

NINA

No more surprises, can Krueger just get the message and back off.

The silver car catches up to them and pull in next to them matching their speed. Nina SCREAMS, pointing at the silver car.

Look out!

As he passes Bruce and the driver nods to each other and he move in front of their car. Bruce reduces his speed and start to follow the silver car.

ARON

He could have helped a bit you know…

SLY

Give it a rest A.

NINA

What are going on, Sly are we following that car. That are one of Krueger’s men, he was just shooting at us minutes ago!

PAUSES a moment.

Guys?

SLY

Not now Nina…

Confusion are clear on her face. The three operatives ignore her. Bruce looks back at her in the mirror making eye contact but don’t acknowledge her in any way. Sly just exchange a look of worry with Aron, before focusing his attention on the silver car and their surroundings. Realization dawns on Nina’s face, disbelief, horror and shock alternates on her face.

NO!

Instantly she fumbles with her seatbelt and in the same time reaches out to open the door. Sly in one smooth moment slides across the back seat and pull the fighting Nina away from the door.

SLY

NINA!

She are weak but fights on, pushing and hitting him wherever she find a open spot. He blocks her blows and then pull her into his chiseled chest holding her arms down next to her body. She thrashes against him and kicks Aron from behind. Aron catches her legs and hold them tight between the two seats. Realizing the futility of her attempt to escape she stops her thrashing but SCREAMS in frustration. The operatives keep their hold. The cars turns into an old factory yard and pull into the abandoned factory building. Nina start to vomit but there are no fluids left in her body and dry RETCHING sounds fill the sudden silence. The operatives let go of her and file out of the car. Bruce locks the car and they meet up with the thug. Nina heaves gulps of air forcing the retching to calm a bit. Nausea lies at the back of her throat with the bitter taste of betrayal. She watches in horror as they shake hands and talk like long lost buddies. Why did they betray her, was it for the money? How can this be.

NINA

Mumbles softly to herself, defeat and hurt showing on her face.

Was it for the money?

A sob mixed with a drowning sound burst from her lips as she slumps back into the seat. Moments later Bruce unlocks the car and open her car door. Nina scoots back away from him, only to land into the arms of Aron who opened the other door. Easily he pulls her from the car.

ARON

Nina, will you calm down!

With fury she pulls her arm out of his grasp and without looking at him or Bruce walks to Sly who is motioning her into a room. She marches past him with her last strength. She will not give them the satisfaction of seeing that they have won. They broke her spirit with this betrayal.

As she walks inside she looks for any possible means of escape. The room are disheveled but clean and clearly lived in. The second hand furniture have seen better days, but she can see no obvious ways of escape. The thug turns from a cupboard holding a medical kit. He smiles and start to prepare a drip bag. Sly pushes her down in the only armchair available.

Sly, Aron and Bruce position themselves around her.

SLY

Nina you may know this man…

Thug turns around and remove his baseball cap, wig and glasses. Nina looks at him a moment and shakes her head.

Look again Nina.

She lifts her head looking at him. He slowly sits down in the chair in front or her. With her right hand he reaches into his pocket and take out a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. Her pupils start to dilate and her mouth opens screaming but no sound escapes. Ripping open the packet the crinkly sounds erupts as loud as gunfire in her ears. She starts to shake and tremble her body jerking as if bullets are ripping through it, piercing her with it’s very sound. The hateful aroma of salt and vinegar immediately saturates the air around her. Instinctively she holds onto her breath…

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LAB – THAT MOMENT

A young Nina is sitting on a chair next to a big machine. With hate on her face she looks on as a guard brutally shoves her sinewy father to a machine. You know the drill professor. No work, no child… He moves over to her and take out a pack of crisps. Slowly and deliberately he opens it just under her nose. Knowing what would come next she holds her breath… 1sec…2sec…3 sec… 10sec… she inhales sharply and her nose are immediately filled with the flavor of salt and vinegar crisps. Her mouth fills up with saliva and she tries not to swallow it back as she know it will give him so much satisfaction. She focus on not inhaling the intoxicating smell a second time but again the salty, vinegary aroma assaults’ her pouring over all the pores on her skin, penetrating its’ robust fingers into her nostrils into the deepest part of her sensory organs. A deep rumble from her tummy instantly brings joy to the guard and mad laughter erupts from his lips. A handful of crisps find their way into his mouth just inches away from her face. She can hear the crunchiness and almost taste them. Her eyes never leaves his face… she will not give in. With laughter he empties the packet in front of her, then shakes the last crumbs out on her lap… shoving the empty packet into his pocket he moves off to the side of the room. She takes a quick swallow while his back are turned on her, forcing the slippery fluid back into her throat.

FADE TO:

INT. LAB – LATER

Nina are still sitting in the same chair. She balances the crumbs of the crisps on her lap, hating herself for it. The guard moves from his post and shoves her father to the side.

GUARD

Enough!

Nina cringes inside. This time… this time she will win. Stopping in front of her the guard unfolds the crisp bag. Opening it the smell immediately fills the air around them. He waves the bag in front of her, waiting for her to grab it. She know he will only snatch it away, so she quickly move to sit on her hands and with regret see the crumbs scatter over the shiny floor. Laughing he yells at a guard outside the door.

GUARD

Tony! Hey Tony come check this out.

A second guard enters the room, he clearly knows the drill. She feel the red haze of anger and embarrassment washing over her face. She catches her mothers eye and the light shake of her head. She inhales deeply in an effort to stop the trembling of her body and mind and again inhales the heavenly smell of salt and vinegar. The guards laugh and as they leave the room the first guard looks back at her and then tosses the packet on the ground stepping on it he leaves the room. As the door closes she scrambles off the chair deaf to the pleas of her parents, she scoops up the packet and settles in a corner under the glass window. Placing the packet around her mouth and nose she savors every breath. With her delicate fingers she slowly reach into the corners of the packet and tease the last crumbs out of their hiding spaces. Her eyes never leave the crumbs as she slowly brings it to her mouth. As the first taste of salt and vinegar fills her mouth, a symphony of flavor fill her being. Then the realization of what she are doing fills her and a tear rolls down her face. He won! Again! She tosses the packet away from her feeling ashamed and angry unable to look at her parents, she curls up into a ball, hearing the door open she know the guard will know he won. A part of her was bought with salt and vinegar crumbs.

GUARD

Come Nina. Visiting is over.

CUT TO:

INT. FACTORY – NOON

INT. FACTORY – NOONNINA

Confusion and then recognition followed by disgust spread over her face.

YOU! She spat the word out at him.

THUG

Nina you have no reason to trust me, but please just listen me out.

PAUSES and takes a deep breath.

You may not believe me, but I hope you do. You parents gave me a word for this day. Cuddle Snuggles

NINA

Draws in her breath sharply and if possible she turned from green to white. Confusion, and memories flood her face.

No! That is impossible! That is our safe phrase…

THUG

My friend, your father gave it to me the day I helped you escape. The day I saw him and your mom die, unable to help them. The day I promised to protect you like my own.

NINA

Screaming

You were never his friend!

Spat in his face!

You hated us! You were the worst of them all!

THUG

Yes, I were. I were the worst of them all, but I never physically harmed them and always, always had their backs. Somehow me and your father clicked we became friends and to hide that friendship and everything I smuggled in to them, to you I had to be the meanest mother fucker so that no one would suspect anything and so that they would keep posting me there as part of the mind games that they played with your family. At least with me your parents always knew what to expect and they knew that every time you left that room I would keep an eye out for you as far as possible.

And that day of your escape, if not for me causing a diversion you would never have escaped. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life, because I knew they would die in the process. There was no other way.

Takes a deep breath.

I have been keeping watch over you ever since. I promised your parents to give you a normal life to give you space but to always watch over you. I stayed in business with Krueger’s father and after his capture stayed on with Krueger himself so that I could see the danger coming and be prepared. Since these guys started protecting you at the pre-trial hearings, I made contact with them and we have all been looking out for you since then.

NINA

Breaths deeply in and out. This is too much. Her head is spinning and she is so confused. First the attacks, then the flashbacks, memories, the puzzles and now this… With shaking hands and legs feeling like rubber she pushes herself from the chair and the salt and vinegar smell overwhelms her again… With her hand in front of her mouth she looks frantically for the bathroom.

THUG

Indicating a door.

This way.

NINA

Stumbles to the bathroom. Retching and vomiting can be heard and then quiet.

BRUCE

With concern on his face.

This might have been too much for her.

SLY

Slams his fist into the table in front of him. Frustration and guilt washes over his face.

Damn! We did not have a choice. We need a break and we need to figure this out and Ben can help with both. It was time to play open cards.

ARON

Guys!

Aron is bending over Nina in the bathroom. She is having a full blown panic attack. Shaking, sweating and breathing fast and with shallow gasps she sits on the bathroom floor hugging herself tightly. Aron sits down next to her and effortlessly pulls her onto his lap. His arms wraps around her and he start to speak to her in a soft and comforting manner.

Ok girl, I’ve got you. Deep breath, deep breath. It’s ok.

All of the operatives file into the bathroom, concern and guilt clear on their faces. Ben comes in with a glass of liquid and a brown paper bag.

BEN

Handing the items to Aron.

It will help with the shock. I think it is best if I stay outside for now.

ARON

Holds the glass to Nina’s lips and help her to drink it. All the time talking very calmly to her.

SLY

You stay with her A, we will go and catch up with Ben.

ARON

Nods and pushes her head back into his shoulder. Holding the brown paper bag in front of her mouth he help her to take deep and calming breaths. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cellphone.

How about some calming tunes.

He moves his finger over a internet screen searching for music.

CUT TO:

INT. FACTORY – NOON

Ben and the remaining operatives sit around the table.

SLY

So explain to me how this fuck can target us the whole time. I get the facial software, but the civilians at Nina’s office and that shit on the train had nothing to do with facial recognition.

BEN

So this program that Nina’s parents created. It can target anyone through the internet, using subluminal orders it can control them. They don’t understand what they are doing – like a person sleep walking.

So basically if you are on the net and the device have a camera eye, you are vulnerable to become a puppet.

BRUCE

You’re shitting me!

SLY

Why the hell would they develop such shit?

BEN

This was one of several projects they worked on. They were probably the best scientists of their time and remember they were under constant duress since her birth. This program were actually never finished. We planned the escape before they could finish and as a fail safe they programmed the kill code into Nina’s brain. I was the only one that knew about it, but since the program were unfinished I had no concern about it.

SLY

So how the hell did they start to use it if it was never finished and how did you not know this in time.

BEN

Well as always Krueger sent me away to make the rounds at all his different facilities. It takes more than a while and I have to keep an eye on Nina as well. He started using the program in that time and I only found out yesterday when I checked in. Regarding the program he found another scientist and a Russian whizz kid with computers. Between the two of them and they are as crazy as Krueger, they figured out the glitches and made some of their own tweaks. So instead of just controlling people they programmed it to become a weapon.

BRUCE

So basically anyone, anywhere, anytime

can become an assassin.

A moment of silence follows as they try to absorb this information. Aron with his arm around a still shaking Nina walks in. He blinks rapidly in the bright light of the room and for a moment only looks a bit dazed. He shakes his head and lead Nina back to the chair. He joins the guys at the table and Sly brings him up to speed. Bruce moves over to Nina with the medical kit and start to administer some medicine and fluids to her for the vomiting and dehydration.

ARON

Moves to the fridge and takes out a soft drink, as he snaps open the can he seems a bit off. He takes a long drink and then calmly throws it in the air. The spinning can spews its content all over the room. Sly and Bruce reaches for their guns and aim at the can. In one smooth motion Aron pulls his gun and start shooting. One bullet hits Bruce center mass and he drops down like a puppet whose strings are cut. Sly tips Nina and the chair over, he and Ben start to fire at Aron who are now turning to concentrate his fire on Nina.

SLY

What the FUCK Aron!

BEN

It’s no use! we need to go.

He pulls a smoke grenade and throws it under the table. Moments later the room is thick with smoke. Through the hazy smoke Aron ejects his clip and reload. Stepping over Bruce’s body without even glancing at him. Screeching tires can be heard moving away from the factory. He look calmly at their car with two flat tires. A series of lights start to rapidly blink in the corners of the room. He see it and quickly but deliberately leave the factory. He is only a few steps away when there are a huge explosion filling the sky with flames, smoke and debris. He are thrown into the air onto the gravel in front of the factory.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Great Action Set Piece!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

By putting all of these steps together I worked on my opening scene that was far from satisfying. The rough framework that I now have is so much better than before and I can see potential in it. When I rewrite it as a scene and apply the whole process it should be more worthy of an action script. As I am still working out some kinks in this draft, I will continue with the next lesson so that I do not fall far behind and rewrite the scene in between. So this is just a draft and not a completely elevated scene.

Pre-Action

Create
the need for action.

The government are also hunting her, they found out about the code and the program. They don’t want to destroy it; they want to use it and they need to kill or capture her to prevent her from destroying the program. She doesn’t need to unlock the code. She already have it but now Krueger and the government are hunting her, each for its own purpose.

Employee of government report to senior about assassinations over the last 48 hours that are questionable…

Especially after a British minister was in a fatal accident. Camera footage inside the car shows the security detail calmly shooting the driver and then the minister and then just sit in the car till apprehended. He is currently in custody for questioning and can’t even remember doing it.

Senior takes it up the command – this confirms their suspicions about Krueger’s global assassination program being used. They know about it because of the information that Nina gave them when she escaped and turned witness against Krueger’s father. They were however under the impression that Nina’s parents were developing it, but that it was destroyed with them when Nina escaped. Nina also told them that there are a kill code to the program should someone else develop it from the scraps that’s left.

Krueger are also on the hunt for Nina and will stop at nothing to catch or kill her. He preferably want her alive so that he can take out his revenge on her.

Demand
a change the characters need to go through.

Later in the script Nina have to decide who she will trust, the operative following the orders of the government or the thug that once guarded her and her parents who made their lives miserable.

They Need to infiltrate Krueger and steal the program and destroy his copy. The government want to use it as their own weapon. But they don’t know Krueger’s base – he moved underground to a new facility after the incarceration of his father and even after all the fortunes that his family lost because of it – he still had millions in offshore accounts that they could not trace and therefore he were able to start again and this time even bigger than his father. They have been tracking him and his operations for a while but are unable to make leeway.

They need to find Nina to make sure she does not destroy the program with the code.

They ten find out that Krueger are also hunting her and that he knows about the code that she have.

They sent a team of three operatives that she knows and trust (they protected her during the pre-trail and afterwards) to bring her in.

They are dispatched to her location – the government kept tabs on her ( she did not know)

Action

Make
the Action Unique

The hunt is on from Krueger who is using all available resources, money, men and civilians to find her.

The operatives go in prepared to get her out quickly and deliver her to the government. They do not know about the program of Krueger.

They are attacked by Krueger’s men as they escort her to the hand over. They have to change plans. Nina starts to suspect that there are more to this. She questions why the government need her so suddenly, Who are attacking her, If it is Krueger why… Can she trust the operatives?

The operatives are pissed and now they are on the run. They start to listen to the doubts that Nina have and have some questions of their own. They decide to disappear with Nina till they can figure it out. But they have trouble doing that as Krueger’s men follows them and civilians start attacking them. When civilians start attacking them Nina figures out what Krueger are doing. But what about the government?

Post-Action

Reveals
something new.
Deeper
relationship.
More
motivation to fight or defend.
Another
bad guy vanquished.
Discovered
a clue or piece of the puzzle.
Intrigue
has been uncovered.

Several fight scenes later, the government threaten to send out operatives after them.

Train ambushes, car chases, fights etc brings them in contact with one of Krueger’s thugs. He provides information about Krueger’s new facility.

They contact the government and find out that they want to use the program as a weapon and lock Nina up as to keep her from killing the program.

? parents still alive????

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Unique Action!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Wow … Wow … Wow this whole process opened so many possibilities to elevate not only scenes but the whole story. It gave me the opportunity to change and elevate parts of the plot, story and characters that were still lacking or did not fit. Loved doing it and think it can be used in any type of script.

Changes:

Environment:

Europe, probably England (London).

Rules:

She are unaware of the code in her head or that the program are already in use or that Krueger knows about the code.

Villain:

Krueger has grown up in a secret lab without a mother and a father that runs his multi million empower with gangs, mafia and shrewdness. He have little compassion for people even his own son. He lives for his science projects and making money and having power. His ultimate goal is to become the most powerful person in the world that will influence politics and economics. That can bring leaders and governments to a fall and move the world like chess pieces. This ends abruptly when Nina’s parents help her escape are killed in the process and can’t finish the global assassination program, the crown jewel in his arsenal of weapons. Nina provides evidence to the government about Krueger’s father that leads to his arrest and incarceration. In the end he dies in prison a bitter man. Krueger comes from this background. He is all that his father were but more cruel, ruthless and he holds Nina accountable for the collapse of his world and the loss of his father. He have taken his father’s empire and build it up even more, but now there are no rules and boundaries… a crazy dysfunctional psychopath with billions of dollars… what can go wrong.

Mission:

Nina have to unlock the code in her brain order to prevent Krueger from further using the global assassination program. She have to do all this while he are actively hunting her down.

Struggle:

She are getting weaker and weaker because of the effect of the code being unlocked in her brain. There are some side effects that her parents who programmed it into her brain were unaware of.

Unique
Skillset:

Code locked in her brain.

Meaning:

Each scene pushes her to face her past while unlocking the code and surviving the hunt.

Allies:

The operatives that protected her during the trail are helping her and they have an informant from Krueger helping as well.

Weapon:

Guns, explosives, operatives gear. Global assassination program.

You want to first identify what is already in each of those places. Then, once you’ve got a set of answers, you’ll apply Step 2 to brainstorm ways to elevate one or more places for your Action set pieces.

STEP 2: Use these Strategies for Uniqueness to brainstorm ways to elevate or improve the 9 Places above.

STRATEGIES FOR UNIQUENESS

A. What if…?

Rules: Nina knows from the beginning she have the code. This is her insurance as well as her parent’s way to keep her safe and in case Krueger’s father can finish the program, she can destroy it.

Allies: The operatives are in on the take; they are working with Krueger. In the end they betray her and only she and the informative from Krueger are allies in the end.

B. Take to an extreme.

Weapon: Krueger are not only planning to use the weapon, but he also intends to sell the services of the program to the highest bidder. That means every terrorist and bad guy can now take out a contract and use a civilian to assassinate someone. No one will be safe.

Mission: The government are also hunting her, they found out about the code and the program. They don’t want to destroy it; they want to use it and they need to kill or capture her to prevent her from destroying the program. She doesn’t need to unlock the code. She already have it but now Krueger and the government are hunting her, each for its own purpose.

C. Specific to character or environment.

Environment: What if it is not only playing out in different parts of London, but the lab may also be an underground facility on an obscure island or in an isolated part of the countryside. Under an old ruin…

D. Shocking or Surprising.

Environment: Neo and the team could wipe out the power to the pod fields, thus shutting down the Matrix that way.

Allies: The operatives have a hidden agenda with the government that want to take her in. They don’t know that she have the code in full yet. They have to establish that she have the code and if possible retrieve it from her before she can destroy the program and only then bring her in. Or they bring her in, and she have to escape in order to destroy the program.

E. Go opposite.

Opposite: Nina want revenge on her parents and what have been done to her. She wants to use the program and take over Krueger’s network and money to run a global bad guy assassination program. If you misbehave or get on her list by harming innocent people even governments she will take you out. She want to become the conscience of the leaders and executioner of the thugs and terrorists.

Villain: Krueger have inside connections into the government and are setting several important people up to be assassinated, overthrowing the government and security services so that his team can move in and start running the government.

F. What haven’t we seen?

Mission:

F. What haven’t we seen?

Maybe this movie should not be about her and having the code in her head, but rather about her time in the lab and how she escaped from it.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Level 3 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

It is not so easy to add fear, excitement, and adrenaline. You must understand your fight sequence and have to be very clear about what is happening and in what order. Otherwise, it is just confusing, and you lose the excitement, danger and adrenaline focus. This is something that I need to focus on. Also I think it need to flow with the other two levels of emotions throughout the script and build on each other.

EXT/INT. TRAIN STATION – MORNING

Nina and the operatives hurry down the steps into the overcrowded underground station. Hurriedly the operatives conceal their weapons. They stand positioned around Nina and Bruce move to a higher part of the steps to have over watch.

CUT TO:

INT. KRUEGER’S LAB – MORNING

Several monitors flicker with facial recognition programs running. Suddenly one of them sound an alarm and zoom in on Nina, Aron and Sly’s faces. Krueger jumps up excitedly from a plush chair and small table where he was eating a healthy breakfast of scones, fruit, coffee, and orange juice.

KRUEGER

That’s them! Find the third operative!

The program scans through all the passengers waiting for the incoming train. Sly is looking back at the steps where several people are shouting in anger because the are pushed aside by the thugs chasing them.

CUT TO

EXT/INT. TRAIN STATION – MORNING

Bruce quickly moves to the side of the steps and with a quick flick of his knife punctures heart of the first operative that passes him from the steps to the platform. The man silently bend over, and Bruce gently let him slide to the side of the steps. He moves away immediately.

CUT TO:

INT. KRUEGER’S LAB – MORNING

This action however draws the focus of the program and another alarm start to sound in the lab. The four people file into the train with several other passengers. The operatives bang against the closed train doors as they are too late to enter.

KRUEGER

Activate the program. Kill them! Kill them now!

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN CAR – MORNING

Nina slumps into a seat with Aron and Bruce next to her. Sly moves away from them but keep standing so that he have a clear view of both sides of the car.

NINA

How did they find us so quickly?

BRUCE

Fuck knows! Sly I am getting sick of these bastards. We have to change the deck. We are fighting with one hand tied behind our backs.

Before Sly can answer – some people that where previously shown on their phones, suddenly start to attack them.

ARON

SHIT!

For a moment the operatives and Nina watch as a zombie apocalypse start to come down on them. Even an old lady knitting try to stab Sly with her knitting needle. Sly pushes her away without much effort. A young group of FOUR typical black gangster youths pull a various array of knives and guns, and the operatives snap back to action. As they start shooting, Bruce clips two of them in the head and Aron knocks another one to the ground with a knee to the groin and a fist to the face. Nina screams. They all whip around to see several people climbing onto her. Like a rugby scrum falling. An older man in an striped suit and with a red tie, strangles her from behind. She claws at his eyes, but her hands and arms are pulled away almost tearing them from her body. She screams in agony. Aron shoots the last of the remaining youths. Sly and Bruce struggles to pull the people from Nina. She is starting to turn blue around her lips and her eyes are wide with panic and fear. Sly takes aim and shoot the man in the suit between the eyes. Blood and brain matter spray over Nina and the people on top of her. He slumps down and disappear under the sea of bodies. Nina pulls air into her lungs, screaming in pain at the same time as a sharp object enters her leg. The three operatives start to disentangle the heap of flesh around Nina. They knock unconscious, stab and shoot their way through sea of bodies. People start to fall to the ground as suddenly the whole train accelerates causing the last people around Nina to bounce around the car injuring themselves.

BRUCE

I’ll check it out!

Moves to the front of the train through the last two cars where people are screaming in fear.

ARON

Picking Nina up moves into the next car and Sly shuts the door into several people’s faces. Struggling they try to open the door from the other side still trying to kill them. Several people fall to the tracks between the two cars as the people shove them from behind. He see a lady holding a folded umbrella. He shoves it through the handles of the door. They train is now going full speed and people screaming deafens out the noise of the whipping wind from the outside. Aron are checking Nina for injuries and with a piece of his shirt tie a bandage around her leg.

BRUCE

Enters the conductor’s compartment by shooting out the window and opening the door. The driver looks around and try to stop him. Bruce hit him behind the head with the butt of his gun and he slumps back in his seat. His hand hovers over the control for a moment looking as if he is going to increase the speed even further, just as Sly sticks his head in from behind.

SLY

Can you stop it?

BRUCE

Looking annoyed.

Just about too.

He start to gently pull back on the lever. Decreasing speed till the train comes to a complete standstill. A moment of dead silence are heard in the dark tunnel, before a commotion erupts from behind them. Several shots are heard with people screaming.

SLY

Shit!

They swiftly move to the train car with Aron and Nina. The same scene greets them as before. Aron are pushed against the doors shielding Nina from the crowd with his body. Sly sprints start to shoot just behind Aron and Nina, the emergency escape glass shatters. Bruce and Sly fight their way through the crowd to Aron and Nina. As they keep the people off Aron helps Nina out the window before the other two follow. Without talking they start to fall back to the back of the train. As they pass the train car were the first attack happened, they can see several dead and mangled bodies. Nina gasps and just then one person see them and start to follow them on the inside of the car never breaking eye contact. Aron takes aim and with one shot shatters the window before the second brings him down in his tracks. They quickly move along and vanish in the darkness behind the train.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Level 2 Action Emotions

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?

I used the surprise, shock, and suspense just after the level 1 emotions and it lifted the whole scene even more. Just when you think they can breathe, just when you think you understand the plot this level two emotion comes along and it is a brilliant, brilliant concept. Loved doing it.

INT. FACTORY – NOON

INT. FACTORY – NOON

NINA

Confusion and then recognition followed by disgust spread over her face.

YOU! She spat the word out at him.

THUG

Nina you have no reason to trust me, but please just listen me out.

PAUSES and takes a deep breath.

You may not believe me, but I hope you do. You parents gave me a word for this day. Cuddle Snuggles

NINA

Draws in her breath sharply and if possible she turned from green to white. Confusion, and memories flood her face.

No! That is impossible! That is our safe phrase…

THUG

My friend, your father gave it to me the day I helped you escape. The day I saw him and your mom die, unable to help them. The day I promised to protect you like my own.

NINA

Screaming

You were never his friend!

Spat in his face!

You hated us! You were the worst of them all!

THUG

Yes, I were. I were the worst of them all, but I never physically harmed them and always, always had their backs. Somehow me and your father clicked we became friends and to hide that friendship and everything I smuggled into them, to you I had to be the meanest mother fucker so that no one would suspect anything and so that they would keep posting me there as part of the mind games that they played with your family. At least with me your parents always knew what to expect and they knew that every time you left that room I would keep an eye out for you as far as possible.

And that day of your escape, if not for me causing a diversion you would never have escaped. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life, because I knew they would die in the process. There was no other way.

Takes a deep breath.

I have been keeping watch over you ever since. I promised your parents to give you a normal life to give you space but to always watch over you. I stayed in business with Krueger’s father and after his capture stayed on with Krueger himself so that I could see the danger coming and be prepared. Since these guys started protecting you at the pre-trial hearings, I made contact with them, and we have all been looking out for you since then.

NINA

Breaths deeply in and out. This is too much. Her head is spinning, and she is so confused. First the attacks, then the flashbacks, memories, the puzzles and now this… With shaking hands and legs feeling like rubber she pushes herself from the chair and the salt and vinegar smell overwhelms her again… With her hand in front of her mouth she looks frantically for the bathroom.

THUG

Indicating a door.

This way.

NINA

Stumbles to the bathroom. Retching and vomiting can be heard and then quiet.

BRUCE

With concern on his face.

This might have been too much for her.

SLY

Slams his fist into the table in front of him. Frustration and guilt washes over his face.

Damn! We did not have a choice. We need a break, and we need to figure this out and Ben can help with both. It was time to play open cards.

ARON

Guys!

Aron is bending over Nina in the bathroom. She is having a full-blown panic attack. Shaking, sweating and breathing fast and with shallow gasps she sits on the bathroom floor hugging herself tightly. Aron sits down next to her and effortlessly pulls her onto his lap. His arms wraps around her, and he start to speak to her in a soft and comforting manner.

Ok girl, I’ve got you. Deep breath, deep breath. It’s ok.

All of the operatives file into the bathroom, concern and guilt clear on their faces. Ben comes in with a glass of liquid and a brown paper bag.

BEN

Handing the items to Aron.

It will help with the shock. I think it is best if I stay outside for now.

ARON

Holds the glass to Nina’s lips and help her to drink it. All the time talking very calmly to her.

SLY

You stay with her A; we will go and catch up with Ben.

ARON

Nods and pushes her head back into his shoulder. Holding the brown paper bag in front of her mouth he help her to take deep and calming breaths. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone.

How about some calming tunes?

He moves his finger over an internet screen searching for music.

CUT TO:

INT. FACTORY – NOON

Ben and the remaining operatives sit around the table.

SLY

So, explain to me how this fuck can target us the whole time. I get the facial software, but the civilians at Nina’s office and that shit on the train had nothing to do with facial recognition.

BEN

So, this program that Nina’s parents created. It can target anyone through the internet, using subluminal orders it can control them. They don’t understand what they are doing – like a person sleep walking.

So basically, if you are on the net and the device have a camera eye, you are vulnerable to become a puppet.

BRUCE

You’re shitting me!

SLY

Why the hell would they develop such shit?

BEN

This was one of several projects they worked on. They were probably the best scientists of their time and remember they were under constant duress since her birth. This program were actually never finished. We planned the escape before they could finish and as a failsafe they programmed the kill code into Nina’s brain. I was the only one that knew about it, but since the program were unfinished I had no concern about it.

SLY

So how the hell did they start to use it if it was never finished and how did you not know this in time.

BEN

Well as always Krueger sent me away to make the rounds at all his different facilities. It takes more than a while and I have to keep an eye on Nina as well. He started using the program in that time and I only found out yesterday when I checked in. Regarding the program he found another scientist and a Russian whizz kid with computers. Between the two of them and they are as crazy as Krueger, they figured out the glitches and made some of their own tweaks. So instead of just controlling people they programmed it to become a weapon.

BRUCE

So basically anyone, anywhere, anytime

can become an assassin.

A moment of silence follows as they try to absorb this information. Aron with his arm around a still shaking Nina walks in. He blinks rapidly in the bright light of the room and for a moment only looks a bit dazed. He shakes his head and lead Nina back to the chair. He joins the guys at the table and Sly brings him up to speed. Bruce moves over to Nina with the medical kit and start to administer some medicine and fluids to her for the vomiting and dehydration.

ARON

Moves to the fridge and takes out a soft drink, as he snaps open the can he seems a bit off. He takes a long drink and then calmly throws it in the air. The spinning can spew its content all over the room. Sly and Bruce reaches for their guns and aim at the can. In one smooth motion Aron pulls his gun and start shooting. One bullet hits Bruce centre mass and he drops down like a puppet whose strings are cut. Sly tips Nina and the chair over, he and Ben start to fire at Aron who are now turning to concentrate his fire on Nina.

SLY

What the FUCK Aron!

BEN

It’s no use! we need to go.

He pulls a smoke grenade and throws it under the table. Moments later the room is thick with smoke. Through the hazy smoke Aron ejects his clip and reload. Stepping over Bruce’s body without even glancing at him. Screeching tires can be heard moving away from the factory. He look calmly at their car with two flat tires. A series of lights start to rapidly blink in the corners of the room. He see it and quickly but deliberately leave the factory. He is only a few steps away when there are a huge explosion filling the sky with flames, smoke and debris. He are thrown into the air onto the gravel in front of the factory.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Level 1 Action Emotion’s

What I learned doing this assignment is…

This is a very important part of your script but you have to build to it with hints and suggestions. You have to build the audience up, rev their stress counters and anxious meters into the red, only then can you have a successful moment of relief… only then you can sweep them up into the next moment of panic and fear. But they need the relief, they need to breathe and let go of their armrest’s even if it is only for a moment.

EXT/INT. CAR CHASE – AFTERNOON

Several cars are chasing the car with NINA and the operatives. BRUCE are driving. A silver car hangs back ARON sits next to him, shooting away at the black car next to them and hitting the driver in the head. The black car looses control and with a wild turn runs into a metal pole bringing it to a complete standstill.

BRUCE

Grunts …in annoyance.

From behind Bruce SLY stops shooting at the black car hanging on to their tail lights and look across him to NINA. Nina are looking weak, dehydrated and disheveled. With every movement of the car she are tossed about. She looks at him pleadingly. The next moment the black car rams into them from behind as a white bakkie ram them from the side. Nina and Sly slams into the front seats and Aron into the dash.

SLY

Shit!!! Bruce you need to loose these guys now!

BRUCE

Gritting through his teeth.

Trying bro…

Aron motion to Bruce to speed up. As they catch up with the white bakkie and he sprays it with bullets ripping through their windows and windshield. It shatters all over the two thugs inside. The one in the passenger seat turns around and start to fire through the now vacant back window.

ARON

Bruce get met closer!

Bruce looks into his side mirror seeing the silver car hanging back just behind the black car who are trying to push him from the left side into the white bakkie, he step on the petrol speeding them forward.

ARON

Pull the pin from a grenade and toss it onto the back of the bakkie.

Brace!

Seeing the grenade, Bruce brake with force leaving the black car and white bakkie serving into each other just as the grenade explodes. Flames erupt and several fragments and pieces of car are propelled into them and their surrounding area. He swerves to miss a piece of tire and turn into the next side street. Now it is only the silver car left.

SLY

Slaps Aron from the back on his shoulder.

Nice tossing A!

He looks back making sure no one else are following them.

Were clean.

Nina looks relieved.

NINA

No more surprises, can Krueger just get the message and back off.

The silver car catches up to them and pull in next to them matching their speed. Nina SCREAMS, pointing at the silver car.

Look out!

As he passes Bruce and the driver nods to each other and he move in front of their car. Bruce reduces his speed and start to follow the silver car.

ARON

He could have helped a bit you know…

SLY

Give it a rest A.

NINA

What are going on, shy are we following that car. That are one of Krueger’s men, he was just shooting at us minutes ago!

PAUSES a moment.

Guys?

Confusion are clear on her face. The three operatives ignore her. Bruce looks back at her in the mirror making eye contact but don’t acknowledge her in any way. Sly just look at her and the look at Aron who is looking back at him. Realization dawns on Nina’s face, disbelief, horror and shock alternates on her face.

NO!

She fumbles with her seatbelt and in the same time reaches out to open the door. Sly in one smooth moment slides across her seat and pull the fighting Nina away from the door.

SLY

NINA!

She are weak but fights on, pushing and hitting him wherever she find a open spot. He blocks her blows and then pull her into his chest holding her arms down next to her body. She thrashes against him and kicks Aron from behind. Aron catches her legs and hold them tight between the two seats. Realizing the futility of her attempt to escape she stops her thrashing but SCREAMS in frustration. The operatives keep their hold. The car turns into an old factory yard and pull into the abandoned factory, parking inside the building together with the silver car. Nina start to vomit but there are no fluids left in her body and dry RETCHING sounds fill the sudden silence. The operatives let go of her and file out of the car. Bruce locks the car and they meet up with the thug. Nina watches in horror as they shake hands and talk like long lost buddies. Why did they betray her, was it for the money? How can this be.

NINA

Mumbles softly to herself, defeat and hurt showing on her face.

How could they? Money?

A sob mixed with a sound struggling to breathe leave her body as she slumps back into the seat. Bruce unlocks the car and open her car door. Nina scoots back away from him, only to land into the arms of Aron who opened the other door. He pulls her from the car.

ARON

Nina, will you calm down.

With fury she pulls her arm out of his grasp and without looking at him or Bruce walks to Sly who is motioning her into a room. She marches past him with her last strength hanging only on because she will not give them the satisfaction of seeing that they have won. They broke her spirit with this betrayal.

As she walks inside she looks for any possible means of escape. The room are disheveled but clean and clearly lived in. The second hand furniture have seen better days, but she can see no obvious ways of escape. The thug turns from a cupboard holding a medical kit. He smiles and start to prepare a drip bag. Sly pushes her down in the only armchair available.

Sly, Aron and Bruce position themselves around her.

SLY

Nina you may know this man…

Thug turns around and remove his baseball cap, wig and glasses. Nina looks at him a moment and shakes her head.

Look again Nina.

She lifts her head looking at him.

He is one of Krueger’s men, you may remember him as a much younger man.

THUG

Moves slowly to the chair.

I used to guard you and your parents in the lab.

NINA

Confusion and then recognition followed by disgust spread over her face.

YOU! She spat the word out at him.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LAB – THAT MOMENT

A young Nina is sitting on a chair next to a big machine. With hate on her face she looks on as a guard brutally shoves her malnourished father to the machine. You know the drill professor. No work, no child… He moves over to her and take out a pack of crisps. He opens it just under her nose. Knowing what would come next she holds her breath… 1sec…2sec…3 sec… 10sec… she inhales sharply and her nose are immediately filled with the flavor of salt and vinegar crisps. Her mouth fills up with saliva and she try not to swallow it back as she know it will give him so much satisfaction. She try not to inhale a second time but again the salty, vinegary smell reach through her nostrils into the deepest part of her sensory organs. A deep rumble from her tummy makes the guard laugh out loud. A handful of crisps make it into his mouth just inches away from her face. She can hear the crunchiness and almost taste them. Her eyes never leaves his face… she will not give in. With laughter he empties the packet in front of her, then shakes the last crumbs out on her lap… shoving the empty packet into his pocket he moves off to the side of the room. She takes a quick swallow before he turns around to face them again.

INT. LAB – LATER

Nina are still sitting in the same chair. She balances the crumbs of the crisps on her lap, hating herself for it. The guard moves from his post and shoves her father to the side.

GUARD

Enough!

Nina cringes inside. This time… this time she will win. Stopping in front of her the guard unfolds the crisp bag. Opening it the smell immediately fills the air around them. He waves the bag in front of her, waiting for her to grab it. She know he will only snatch it away, so she move to sit on her hands and see the crumbs fell to the floor. This makes the guard laugh so hard.

GUARD

Tony! Hey Tony come check this out.

A second guard enters the room, he clearly knows the drill. She feel the red haze of anger and embarrassment washing over her face. She catches her mothers eye and the light shake of her head. She inhales deeply in an effort to stop the trembling of her body and mind and again inhales the heavenly smell of salt and vinegar. The guards laugh and as they leave the room the first guard tosses the packet on the ground and step on it, while still looking at her. As the door closes she scrambles off the chair deaf to the pleas of her parents, she scoops up the packet and settles in a corner. Placing the packet around her mouth and nose she savors every breath. With her delicate fingers she slowly reach into the corners of the packet and tease the last crumbs out of their hiding spaces. As she suck them off her finger a tear rolls down her face. He won again. She tosses the packet away from her feeling ashamed and angry unable to look at her parents, she curls up into a ball, hearing the door open she know the guard will know he won. Again.

GUARD

Come Nina. Visiting is over.

INT. FACTORY – NOON

THUG

Pulls up a chair to sit opposite her. She try to distance herself from him as if he is a poisonous snake.

Nina you have no reason to trust me, but please just listen me out.

PAUSES and takes a deep breath.

You may not believe me, but I hope you do. You parents gave me a word for this day. Cuddle Snuggles

NINA

Draws in her breath sharply and if possible she turned from green to white. Confusion, and memories flood her face.

Where did you hear that words?

THUG

My friend, your father gave it to me the day I helped you escape. The day I saw him and your mom die, unable to help them. The day I promised to protect you like my own.

NINA

Screaming

You were never his friend!

Spat in his face!

You hated us! You were the worst of them all!

THUG

Yes, I were. I were the worst of them all, but I never physically harmed them and always, always had their backs. Somehow me and your father clicked we became friends and to hide that friendship and everything I smuggled in to them, to you I had to be the meanest mother fucker so that no one would suspect anything and so that they would keep posting me there as part of the mind games that they played with your family. At least with me your parents always knew what to expect and they knew that every time you left that room I would keep an eye out for you as far as possible.

And that day of your escape, if not for me causing a diversion you would never have escaped. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life, because I knew they will die in the process. There was no other way.

Takes a deep breath.

I have been keeping watch over you ever since. I promised your parents to give you a normal life to give you space but to always watch over you. I stayed in business with Krueger’s father and after his capture stayed on with Krueger himself so that I could see the danger coming and be prepared. Since these guys started looking after you pre-trial I made contact with them and since then we are all looking out for you.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Favourite Twists!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I struggled in the beginning but in the end had so much fun doing it and the story and plot as well as the characters are so much better. Think I am going to leave it a few days and keep on adding twists or changing them till they are amazing! I used betrayal, a surprising alliance, it just got worse and trap.

Danger
========================= Safety <div>

New
Threat ====================== Unexpected Support

Plan
Fails ========================Plan Succeeds

Identity
or Plan Exposed ============ Identity Hidden

Deceived
====================== Surprising Truth

Betrayal
======================= Surprising Alliance

Attacked
====================== Protected

Lost
Resources ================= New Resources

It
Just Got Worse ============== It Just Got Better

Unexpected
Weapon ============= Surprising Response

Trap/Trick
===================== Escape

Reversal
====================== Reverse the Reversal

1. OPENING

V23 Millionaire maniac using a global assassination program to take over the economy, politics, and power in the world.

V4 The global assassination program is already working – he can give assassination orders to ordinary people with subliminal waves through the internet. This makes every person a weapon.

A1 Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.

A3 A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what happened.

A4 A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.

A5 A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.

A2 Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins that report on the incidents above)

2. THE INCITING INCIDENT

V1 Krueger have a plan and it is in place before the Nina knows it.

V2 He have unlimited money and resources.

V3 Unlimited bad guys to fulfil the hitman contract.

V16 He has an elaborate plan to take her out before she can shut down the program.

M11 Krueger uses everyday people to hunt her down as well as all his contacts and money. He has unlimited resources

M4 Krueger knows she have the code in her head that can destroy the global assassination program that his father forced her parents to develop.

A6 Nina is working in her office. Suddenly some of her colleagues start to act strangely (zombie like). More and more of them are joining. They start to converge on her with all sorts of office weapons. Scissors, plants, mail openers and bare hands. First one start to attack then another then another. They start to back her into a corner. No one is speaking. Suddenly they all start to attack, clubbing her, trying to fight and strangle her.

A7 It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of 54321

M6 When the girl starts to fear for her life the first clue to the puzzle unlocks in her brain

A8 She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…

Looking in the bathroom mirror the flashbacks and hearing her mother’s voice are now mixed with images from her past. She is in clear discomfort and still being sick. Conversations with her parents, telling her to always be ready to flee, always have more than one route out… flashes of Krueger’s lab with her and her parents in it…. Flashes of a much younger her running, fleeing, and crying, shots fired and fires ablaze behind her. Trying to take control she washes her face and take some deep breaths. Take a cap, wig, jacket, and sunglasses out of the bag. Cash and passports as well as a cell phone are seen in the bag.

3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT

M7 She needs to find the operatives that kept her save after she escaped waiting to testify against Krueger’s father. She trusts them to watch her back while she unlocks the puzzle in her head.

M8 Girl’s mission: Find the operatives that protected her.

She is on a train, still violently ill, vomiting and now with headache and still dizziness and confusion. Flashbacks are stronger and stronger. She takes out the phone switch it on and dial the only number in the contact list – saying one word before shutting it off. She passes out again. More of her past are remembered as well as the new flashback of the bar of candy and her mother’s voice.

She is looking sicker than before… the flashes are violently and continuous at this stage. The train stops and she stumbles out… almost faint as steps onto the platform. People are looking strangely at her. She mumbles and continue her way bumps into a strong body. Arms take hold of her as she finally faints and carry her away. Three men are seen around her – confusion, concern and anger in their voices and behavior.

She comes too and are still confronted with her mother’s voice and the flashes. Vomits. Some more memories from her past. She explains to the men what happened. It becomes clear that they were the ones protecting her after her escape from the lab and before she gave evidence to put Krueger’s father away

V24 Now we find out she have special brain capabilities; she has a code locked in her head. (This we now understand because of all the flashbacks that gave us this information.)

M13 New Mission: After she contact the operatives and they find her, she must follow the breadcrumb trail over the world to unlock the code, stay alive while being hunted down and stop the program.

M9 Unlock the puzzles in her head.

M10 Destroy the global assassination program with the code in her head.

A9 Krueger finds out that she is still alive…Facial recognition software recognized her even with the wig and sunglasses. Find them, use all assets available at her last known location.

One of his thugs – start to follow them. He and one of the operatives clearly look at each other with recognition. Something is brewing here. Find the operatives that protected her last time and kill them… put a bounty on her head. The bounty is an insane amount to kill her, but it will also pay for each operative taken out. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY
Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now only finds out that the code is locked in her brain, and it was put there by her parents as a failsafe to the program. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she started to feel better.

First fight with several fighters… they must get away with limited resources.

M5 This is not only about the code in her head. It is also personal for him. He also wants to avenge his father’s imprisonment and death. He uses all his money, contacts, and the global assassination program to hunt her down.

V13 He knows her parents created the global assassination program and gave up their lives so that she could escape and stop the program.

V14 He hates her guts for escaping and he knows how intelligent she is and that the kill code to his program is with her…his father always thought that she was more valuable than he was.

V17 He knows that she was the one to lead the government to capture his father and provide the evidence needed to lock him in prison for life. So, his father valued her more than him, yet she was the one that lead to his imprisonment. Even after that his father always talked of her capabilities in awe. He is jealous of her.

V18 He also keeps her responsible for the death of his father in prison. (His father’s death pushed him over his last bit of sanity and as revenge on the world he wants to fulfil his father’s wish to use the global assassination program to reshape the world economy, politics, and power. Their family will be reborn and reshape the world to his wishes. Even in death he still wants to show his father his worth.

V10 He knows her very well as he was the only other kid in the underground lab where she and her parents were held captive, and he would use to torment her for his own pleasure.

V11 He was part of her trauma back then by bullying her to win his father’s approval.

V15 He knows all her weaknesses as well as all her trauma and he intend to use it in every way he can.

In their last encounter he almost beat her to death and tried to rape her to degrade her and make her brake to his will. In bad shape she fights him off and end up thrusting a paper knife into his groin. His father laughs at his poor attempt of being a man… of having power. She flees shortly after the incident while he is still in the lab’s sick bay. Lost his manhood.

M2 Her parents died to give her a chance to escape and deliver the evidence so that Krueger’s father can be put away in prison. They also locked the code in her brain as safeguard to the program.

M3 After years in captivity, she loves the freedom of her new world that came at a terrible cost. Only now it is threatened by the son of the man that held her captive all those years ago – now he uses the world she loves to hunt her down.

While in a coffee shop one of the operative excuses himself to the bathroom, when he walks in the thug from the train station looks back at him from the mirror.

A10 Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she starts to feel better.

Soon after he comes back from the bathroom, they are attacked by several of Krueger’s operatives.

After evading the attack, they collect some guns and hardware from a safe house. Start to figure out where to go next. Second flashback occur. This time the picture of a building. She is starting to feel ill again. The thug is seen across the street from them and soon after there are several explosions. They need to keep on the move. Camera’s pick them up through facial recognition and Kruegers men are hot in pursuit as well. On a tube they must fight off several civilians that were on their phones while traveling with them and suddenly started to attack them. They are in every city available on demand on a moment’s notice.

Show the train driver on his phone… and then start to speed up way past safe speeds for the train while they are fighting off the civilians. Krueger will kill hundreds of people to kill her.

The operative that made contact with the thug fight his way to the front of the train and kill the driver – what will he do… another operative appears, and he slows the train down to a standstill and they get out on the tracks.

M12 She needs the internet to unwrap the layers of puzzles but every time she uses it, his opportunities to kill her become better and better.

MIDPOINT

M16 Can she trust the operatives to keep her safe, can she trust her own abilities? Fight and run, fight, and run. She keeps getting new flashbacks and each new one makes her violently ill. Is she interpreting the pieces correctly? Suddenly she starts to get the first flashback again. Did she screw up?

V5 Hunt her down. Still fighting of Krueger’s men and trying to get to the next puzzle piece. Car chase. This time the thug is also in a car chasing them. The operative he contacted are driving as soon as they evaded and killed those chasing them and the thug is the last one, he slows down and start to follow the thug. Confusion is clear in Nina’s actions. The other operatives are calm and collected as if this is totally normal. Did she misjudge them. She tries to escape but she is so ill that by just holding her they can easily subdue and control her.

They drive into a very old factory, there are clear signs of someone working and living there. The operatives get out of the car and greet the thug like old friends. She is so ill that she can only watch through the window as they discuss something gesturing to her and looking at her.

The one that made the contact with the thug comes to the car and motion to her to get out. She tries to run but he scoops her up with ease and take her into the living quarters of the thug where he and the rest of the team are waiting.

The thug removes some of his clothing and she recognizes him as one of the guards that were always on duty with her parents. He was especially mean to them.

The operatives give her some refreshments and the thug take out a medical kit and drip bag to give her some medication for the vomiting and replenish her fluids. They explain to her that it was because of the guard that she was able to escape all those years ago. The meanness a front that he and her parents devised so that he was to be posted more times with them and that gave them the opportunity to work on her. He has stayed with Krueger all these years but as a double agent. He stayed on her tail and always followed her all these years as this was his promise to his friends, her parents that he would look after her and keep her safe. He contacted the operatives after her escape, and they have been working together since to keep her safe. They wanted to give her the normal life that she never had and therefore did in such a way that she wouldn’t know. He is now able to give them valuable information.

V9 Every time she uses the internet, she opens the window to use the global assassination program (she needs the internet to unlock the puzzles in her brain)

A13 (In both movies, the Heroes are still on their same journey, but something significant has changed. This gives a different meaning to the second half of the movie.) This may still need some work.

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT

M14 Krueger gets to know the identity of one of the operatives protecting her before the thug gives them the information about how the global assassination program works, he went onto the internet and are influenced by the program. He continues as normal, but something has shifted. He looks at the rest of the team with calculation.

He starts to put himself in a position to take them out. He surprises them and take out one operative with a headshot even before they realize what’s happening. They barely escape and now they are hunted by their own and he knows their tactics and plans. He keeps dodging their heels and are relentless in his pursuit.

M15 When he almost succeeds and his team must kill him, they understand the futility of what they are trying to do. They lost two of their own and the rest of Krueger’s men are still hot on their heels, just a few steps behind the operative. There is no time to mourn their losses.

6. CRISIS/DILEMMA

M17 After she got the whole code, she tries to enter it into a computer, but nothing happens. As they are in an internet café all the customers turn on them. Clearly the program is still working. The code does not work just entering it into a computer. All was in vain. Enemies are closing in fast. They realize that it must be entered into the main frame. It must be entered into the main frame.

M19 All operatives are either dead or gravely wounded.

M18 She realizes she must go to the facility where she was imprisoned with her parents.

M1 She and her parents (scientists) were held captive for years by this maniac’s father

M20 She must do this alone… the thug helps her to get in but can’t go with her further as he is fighting off a force of Krueger’s operatives. She panics when entering the facility overwhelmed with all her memories rushing back on her and are captured.

A15 She must enter Krueger’s lab to enter the kill code. It is where she is vulnerable as this was where she was experimented on and lost her parents. It is part of her dark past. She fears Krueger.

V19 Krueger are overjoyed with having her captured alive and call off his operatives…this is her nightmare came true again. She must face him again in the facility where she was held capture with her parents. How vengeful Krueger are comes to light when they come face to face.

V12 He would watch with his father as she and her parents were manipulated and tortured to do his father’s diabolical work.

7. CLIMAX

V8 The mind games and torture immediately start again.

A16 She falls apart being tormented with her past showing the final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as her and Krueger’s last alteration when he tried to rape her. He clearly has plans for her, now that he has her he are first going to get his revenge and have her die slowly. She is no longer a threat to his plans. Krueger shows his final plans thinking that he has won as well as all his contempt for her. He tortures her physically and emotionally.

M21 She finds a way to clear her mind as she hears the voices of her parents urging her on. The guard that helped her in the past comes into the lab, Krueger welcomes him not knowing that he is on her side. He behaves as if on Kreuger’s side… (the audience now wonder if it were not an elaborate trap) He claims that he caught her and first had to fight off the last operative who is now dead. Krueger rewards him with a big suitcase of cash that he accepts. He asks if he can watch Krueger torturing her, Krueger diabolically laughs as he consents as it will even be more rewarding if the guard watch the torturing and he plans on raping her. He even promises if he is done with her the guard can get in on the action.

Just as it seems hopeless the guard knocks Krueger unconscious and free her before he can kill Krueger several operatives are heard coming to the lab. He urges her to find the mainframe as he will lead the guards away.

A17 She finds a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.

A18 Krueger comes to and realizes that she is gone, and the program is destroyed, also that the facility is in the process of being destroyed. Alarms blaring, smoke and fires etc. He truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.

M23 Out of his mind with rage after the program was destroyed Krueger starts beats her to a pulp and drag her to a room. The same room where she was kept and where he tried to rape her. Now she must face the maniac in the lab where she was tortured and kept as a kid.

A19 He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.

M24 She breaks down unable to think, giving up the will to live and fight back. She just wants it to end.

A20 With horror she see a young woman/girl inside the same room and also being experimented on. He shows her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.

M25 Through a glass panel she sees a girl being used in the same manner as she was as a kid.

M26 This fills her with rage, she confronts her fears, her past and uses that anger to unleash hell on the lab.

A21 It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. She is completely brainwashed, a true killing machine. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.

8. RESOLUTION

V20 There she would fight all the trauma and demons from her past and kill the maniac son and destroy all that is left of him in the world.

M27 Killing the maniac, burning everything to the ground trying to save the girl.

V21 He will die just as his father did without leaving a family power dynasty to rule the world. He will die knowing he failed.

A22 The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.

A23 The world is saved from the assassination program. It came at a price… She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?

My favorite twist is the thug that turned out to be her protector and the operative that turned on the team.

I would like to keep on brainstorming these twists as I feel there can be some more twists hidden in here. His jealousy or the reason for his jealousy and the utter hatred for her that is more personal than just putting his father behind bars.

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[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Likability/Empathy/Justification

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

The hero’s likeability becomes the pivotal point for the story. Why would the audience keep watching if they don’t feel connected to this person? Something in this person needs to connect with the audience. JW – he may have been an assassin but his love for his wife and the caring for the puppy and his grieving is something we all can relate to even if we can’t relate to the deeds he might have done in his past or will be doing in his future. Therefore, the hero needs to be connectable and kind of disarm the audience in a way.

LIKABILITY/LOVABILITY

A.
Other people like or respect the character.
F. Kindness.
G.
Good moral decisions and actions. Being on the right side.

EMPATHY / DISTRESS

B.
External Character conflicts.
C.
Plot intruding on life.
F.
Wound attacked.

JUSTIFICATION

A. The
character or their family abused.
B.
Threatened by others.
C.
The Hero is the victim of attacks.
D.
They’ve suffered major losses.

Likability/Lovability — They make him human.

Helping the neighbor next
door by doing something for him\ her before going to work. This is something that happens every day
and the neighbor need it.
Greet people on the train or
commute – they talk as if they know each other. How are the kids etc. She is genuinely
interested in the people around her and care.
She brings the security
guard at the office something he needed to get after work. Now she spares him the trip. Showing she listens to the people around
her.
Greeting people in their
cubicles. Someone warns her not to
go into a grumpy person’s office.
Something comes flying out the door. She walks in all friendly and cheery and
put down some coffee and saying good morning as if nothing happened.
Showing the disgruntled person losing the momentum of the tantrum and half
smiles.
Someone says “you truly have
no fear” – she pauses and suddenly fear is clear on her face before being
masked again with a smile.
Don’t you love living….

Empathy / Distress

The world and freedom she loves
are being threatened by the same man whose father imprisoned her family
and killed her parents.
She lost her parents when
they gave up their lives to save her from a life of imprisonment and torture.
She is ambushed by her own
office workers. They try to kill
her and this sets of a chain reaction of events that where pre-programmed into
her mind by her parents.
She needs to save the world
she loves and her own life that already cost her so much. Her freedom to live came at a steep
price. She is not willing to just give
it up.

Justification

She is confronted again with
her past and must face the demons she thought she left behind.
Krueger is hunting her down
for power, greed and revenge for his father’s imprisonment and death. She gave the evidence for this
imprisonment.
He will stop at nothing to
kill or capture her.
His cruelty and what would
happen to world if he came into power is shown.
When she is back in the lab,
she tries to safe another girl that is in the same position she was, and
this is her ultimate justification for killing Krueger. She is not doing it out of fear or
revenge but to save someone from the same fate that she had.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Story Map

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Doing most of the work before and really working on your different track’s makes the story track work quite easily and seeing gaps or repetition very quickly.

1. OPENING

V23 Millionaire Maniac using a global assassination program to take over the economy, politics, and power in the world.

V4 The global assassination program are already working – he can give assassination orders to ordinary people with subliminal waves through the internet. This makes every person a weapon.

A1 Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.

A3 A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what she had done.

A4 A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.

A5 A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.

A2 Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins that report on the incidents above)

2. THE INCITING INCIDENT

V1 The Villain’s plan is in place before the Hero knows it.

V2 Unlimited money and resources.

V3 Unlimited bad guys to fulfil the hitman contract.

V16 He has an elaborate plan to take her out before she can shut down the program.

M11 Maniac uses everyday people to hunt her down as well as all his contacts and money.

M4 Krueger knows she have the code in her head that can destroy the global assassination program that his father forced her parents to develop.

A6 Nina is working in her office. Suddenly some of her colleagues start to act strangely (zombie like). More and more of them are joining. They start to converge on her with all sorts of office weapons. Scissors, plants, mail openers and bare hands. First one start to attack then another then another. They start to back her into a corner. No one is speaking. Suddenly they all start to attack, clubbing her, trying to fight and strangle her.

A7 It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of 54321

M6 When the girl starts to fear for her life the first clue to the puzzle unlocks in her brain

A8 She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…

3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT

V24 Now we find out she have special brain capabilities, she have a code locked in her head.

M7 She needs to find the operatives that kept her save after she escaped waiting to testify against Krueger’s father. She trusts them to watch her back while she unlocks the puzzle in her head.

M8 Girl’s mission: Find the operatives that protected her.

M9 Unlock the puzzles in her head.

M13 New Mission: After she contact the operatives and they find her, she must follow the breadcrumb trail over the world to unlock the code, stay alive while being hunted down and stop program.

M10 Destroy the global assassination program with the code in her head.

A9 Krueger finds out that she is still alive… Find them, use all assets available at her last known location. Find the operatives that protected her last time… put a bounty on her head. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY

M5 This is not only about the code in her head. It is also personal for him. He also wants to avenge his father’s imprisonment and death. He uses all his money, contacts, and the global assassination program to hunt her down.

V13 He knows her parents created the global assassination program and gave up their lives so that she could escape and stop the program.

V14 He hates her guts for escaping and he knows how intelligent she is and that the kill code to his program is with her…

V17 He knows that she was the one to lead the government to capture his father and provide the evidence needed to lock him in prison for life.

V18 He also keeps her responsible for the death of his father in prison. (His father’s death pushed him over his last bit of sanity and as revenge on the world he wants to fulfil his father’s wish to use the global assassination program to reshape the world economy, politics, and power. Their family will be reborn.

V10 He knows her very well as he was the only other kid in the underground lab where she and her parents were held captive and her would use to torment her for his own pleasure.

V11 He was part of her trauma back then by bullying her to win his father’s approval.

V15 He knows all her weaknesses as well as all her trauma and he intend to use it in every way he can.

M2 Her parents died to give her a chance to escape and deliver the evidence so that Krueger’s father can be put away in prison. They also locked the code in her brain as safeguard to the program.

M3 After years in captivity, she loves the freedom of her new world only now it is threatened by the son of the man that held her captive all those years ago – now he uses the world she loves to hunt her down.

A10 Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she started to feel better.

M12 She needs the internet to unwrap the layers of puzzles but every time she uses it, his opportunities to kill her become better and better.

A11 First fight with several fighters… they must get away with limited resources.

V5 Hunt her down. Car chase.

MIDPOINT

A12 After evading the attack, they collect some guns and hardware, start to figure out where to go next. Second flashback occur. This time the picture of a building. She is starting to feel ill again, and they need to keep on the move. Camaras pick them up through facial recognition and set Krueger’s men on them as well. They are in every city available on demand on a moment’s notice.

M16 Can she trust the operatives to keep her safe, can she trust her own abilities? Fight and run, fight, and run.

V9 Every time she uses the internet, she opens the window to use the global assassination program (she needs the internet to unlock the puzzles in her brain)

A13 (In both movies, the Heroes are still on their same journey, but something significant has changed. This gives a different meaning to the second half of the movie.) This may still need some work.

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT

M14 Krueger influences one of the operatives sworn to protect her to kill her.

V6 He uses this operative to start a relentless hunt and attack on them.

A14 One of the operatives are influenced by the global assassination program and try to assassinate Nina. He fails only because after a massive and relentless fighting between him and the remaining operatives. They try to subdue him, but he keeps hunting them down. Dodging their heels. Now they are hunted by their own and he knows their tactics and plans.

M15 When he almost succeeds and his team must kill him, they understand the futility of what they are trying to do.

6. CRISIS/DILEMMA

M17 The code does not work just entering it into a computer. All was in vain. Enemies are closing in fast. It must be entered into the main frame.

M19 All operatives are either dead or gravely wounded.

M18 She realizes she must go to the facility where she was imprisoned with her parents.

M1 She and her parents (scientists) were held captive for years by this maniac’s father

M20 She must do this alone… but she panics when entering the facility and are captured.

V19 In the end she must face him in the facility where she was held capture with her parents.

A15 She must enter Krueger’s lab to enter the kill code. It is where she is vulnerable as this was where she was experimented on and lost her parents. It is part of her dark past. She fears Krueger.

V12 He would watch with his father as she and her parents were manipulated and tortured to do his father’s diabolical work.

7. CLIMAX

V7 Capture

V8 Mind games and torture

A16 She falls apart being tormented with her past and are captured. The final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as how vengeful Krueger are comes to light when they come face to face. Krueger shows his final plans thinking that he has won as well as all his contempt for her. He tortures her physically and emotionally.

M21 She finds a way to clear her mind as she hears the voices of her parents urging her on.

A17 She finds a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running in the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.

M22 She enters the kill code and destroy the program.

A18 Krueger truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.

M23 Out of his mind with rage after the program was destroyed Krueger starts to torture and toy with her, now she must face the maniac in the lab where she was tortured and kept as a kid.

A19 He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.

M24 She breaks down unable to think, giving up the will to live and fight back. She just wants it to end.

A20 Krueger shows her a lab room with a young woman/girl inside being experimented on. He shows her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.

M25 Through a glass panel she sees a girl being used in the same manner as she was as a kid.

M26 This fills her with rage, she confronts her fears, her past and uses that anger to unleash hell on the lab.

A21 It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.

8. RESOLUTION

V20 There she would fight all the trauma and demons from her past and kill the maniac son and destroy all that is left of him in the world.

M27 Killing the maniac, burning everything to the ground trying to save the girl.

V21 He will die just as his father did without leaving a family power dynasty to rule the world. He will die knowing he failed.

A22 The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.

A23 The world is saved from the assassination programme. It came at a price… She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Action Structure!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

Enjoyed doing this – I think some things may still change but it gave me the structure I needed, and the previous track (day 5) helped immensely. With the structure I can see where there may be some gaps and start to work on filling them.

1. OPENING

Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.

Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins)

A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what she had done.

A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.

A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.

2. THE INCITING INCIDENT

Nina is working in her office. Suddenly some of her colleagues start to act strangely (zombie like). More and more of them are joining. They start to converge on her with all sorts of office weapons. Scissors, plants, mail openers and bare hands. First one start to attack then another then another. They start to back her into a corner. No one is speaking. Suddenly they all start to attack, clubbing her, trying to fight and strangle her.

It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of

She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…

3. END OF ACT ONE: FIRST TURNING POINT

Find them, use all assets available at her last known location. Find the operatives that protected her last time… put a bounty on her head. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY

Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she started to feel better.

First fight with several fighters… they must get away with limited resources.

4. MIDPOINT

After evading the attack they collect some guns and hardware, start to figure out where to go next. Second flashback occur. This time the picture of a building. She is starting to feel ill again, and they need to keep on the move. Cameras pick them up through facial recognition and Kruegers men as well. They are in every city available on demand on a moment’s notice.

(In both movies, the Heroes are still on their same journey, but something significant has changed. This gives a different meaning to the second half of the movie.) This may still need some work.

5. END OF ACT TWO: SECOND TURNING POINT

One of the operatives are influenced by the global assassination program and try to assassinate Nina. He fails only because after a massive and relentless fighting between him and the remaining operatives. They try to subdue him, but he keeps hunting them down. Dodging their heels. Now they are hunted by their own and he knows their tactics and plans.

6. CRISIS/DILEMMA

She must enter Krueger lab to enter the kill code. It is where she is vulnerable as this was where she was experimented on and lost her parents. It is part of her dark past. She fears Krueger.

7. CLIMAX

She falls apart being tormented with her past and are captured. The final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as how vengeful Krueger are comes to light when they come face to face. Krueger shows his final plans thinking that he has won as well as all his contempt for her. He tortures her physically and emotionally.

She finds a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running in the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.

After she enters the kill code and cause damage to the mainframe of the facility, Krueger truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.

He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.

Krueger shows her a lab room with a young woman/girl inside being experimented on. He shows her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.

It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.

8. RESOLUTION

The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.

The world is saved from the assassination programme. It came at a price… She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Action Track!

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” This was hard for me… I don’t know whether I tried to put to much detail in or whether it was because I am not sure of the characters and story or if it just was because I did not have had time to write properly for the past week with Christmas, family etc. In the end I decided to just finish it with holes etc. so that I can move on to the next assignment and come back later to this as it is still the first rough draft.

A.
Considering the concept from Lesson 1, what action could naturally show up
in this movie?

B.
Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks, what action could work for
this track?

How
can the action start well, build in the 2nd Act, and escalate to a climax
in the 3rd Act?

1. PANIC: Shows secretary, bodyguard, and driver busy on the internet in the morning or night before the attacks. They kind of stare into the screen blink for a long moment and continue as if nothing happened.

Several world leaders and influencers are assassinated by people they know and trust. Chaos erupts all over the world in the matter of hours (as seen on news bulletins)

A secretary suddenly throws her boss off the balcony looking dazed afterword’s not understanding what she had done.

A bodyguard pulls his weapon and shoot his client.

A driver with a senator drives full speed into oncoming traffic.

Purpose: Shows the power and success of the global assassination program.

2. DANGEROUS SITUATION: Nina are working in her office. Suddenly some of her colleagues start to act strangely (zombie like). More and more of them are joining. They start to converge on her with all sorts of office weapons. Scissors, plants, mail openers and bare hands. First one start to attack then another then another. They start to back her into a corner. No one is speaking. Suddenly they all start to attack, clubbing her, trying to fight and strangle her.

Purpose: The global assassination program is targeting her.

3. PLAN VILLIAN: Krueger (maniac millionaire) gets an update from people working for him in a lab like office of the attack and death of Nina. He looks triumphantly back at the news monitors in front of him showing the events unfolding in the world. “Now nothing can stop me” People in chambers and being drugged and experimented on can be seen behind glass.

Purpose: It gives us a glimpse at the man behind the attacks.

4. EVADE: It shows Nina evading and fighting free from her attackers. Confused she flee to safety; her heart is clearly racing she is trembling and anxious. Fighting to catch her breath she gets dizzy and pass out. She comes to with voices of concern from strangers around her. She pushes the people away and get to her feet stumbling away in a daze. Flashes of

She is feeling worse and worse… stumble and passes out again. When she comes too, she is not only seeing the flashes but also hearing her mother’s voice – find this…. find this…. find this. She knows she is not safe and go to a locker at a train station and retrieve a bag. In the bathroom of the train station, she violently vomits… confusion is clear… why is she sick… what happened in the office…

Purpose: It shows us that she is alive, but something is wrong with her….

5. PLAN HERO: Looking in the bathroom mirror the flashbacks and hearing her mother’s voice are now mixed with images from her past. She is in clear discomfort and still being sick. Conversations with her parents, telling her always be ready to flee, always have more than one route out… flashes of Krueger’s lab with her and her parents in it…. Flashes of a much younger her running, fleeing, and crying shots fired and fires ablaze behind her. Trying to take control she washes her face deep breathing. Take a cap, wig, jacket, and sunglasses out of the bag. Cash and passports as well as a cell phone are seen in the bag.

Purpose: She are prepared and have a plan. She anticipated trouble. Something happened to her and her parents in Kreuger’s lab.

6. HELP: She is on a train, still violently ill, vomiting and now with headache and still dizziness and confusion. Flashbacks are stronger and stronger. She takes out the phone and dial a number – saying one word before shutting it off. She passes out again. More of her past are remembered as well as the new flashback of the bar of candy and her mother’s voice.

Purpose: She is not alone – help can be found… parents?

7. BACKUP: She is looking sicker than before… the flashes are violently and continuous at this stage. The train stops and she stumbles out… almost faint as steps onto the platform. People are looking strangely at her. She mumbles and continue her way bumps into a strong body. Arms take hold of her as she finally faints and carry her away. Three men are seen around her – confusion, concern and anger in their voices and behaviour.

She comes too and are still confronted with her mother’s voice and the flashes. Vomits. Some more memories from her past. She explains to the men what happened. It becomes clear that they were the ones protecting her after her escape from the lab and before she gave evidence to put Krueger’s father away.

Purpose: It gives us a better idea of what happened to her in the lab and after she left. It provides help for her on her path forward.

8. DISCOVERY: Krueger finds out that she is still alive and goes ballistic.

Purpose: Find outs why he wants her dead and why she is of so much value to be protected. Gives us insight into his and her backstory.

9. THE ORDER: Find them, use all assets available at her last known location. Find the operatives that protected her last time… put a bounty on her head. Use facial recognition software and have the global assassination program ready for target. She must die – TODAY

Purpose: Insight into the Villain. Instantly wants Nina dead. Why? Shows the stakes for Nina.

10. FIGHT/EVADE/SOLVE PUZZLE: Together with the operatives she goes on the internet and search the flashback 54321 when looking at the image on the screen her head are filled with conversations with her parents that where locked away. In it she learns she must solve the flashback puzzles to get the kill code for the program that she knows existed, but thought was destroyed with her parents. She now knows it is in use and she must stop it. The moment she saw the image and heard her parents voices she started to feel better.

First fight with several fighters… they must get away with limited resources.

Purpose: Show us how the puzzle works and why Krueger wants to kill her. Relentless pursuit starts.

11. GATERING INTEL: After evading the attack they collect some guns and hardware, start to figure out where to go next. Second flashback occur. This time the picture of a building. She is starting to feel ill again, and they need to keep on the move. Camaras pick them up through facial recognition and Kruegers men as well. They are in every city available on demand on a moment’s notice.

Purpose: Showing how the puzzles work and that the attackers are still pursuing them.

12. FIGHT/SOLVING OF NEXT PUZZLE:
Purpose: Gives us two people who need each other.

13. CAR CHASE: Still fighting of Krueger’s men and trying to get to the next puzzle piece.

Purpose: Shows that with the internet targeting their location as well as camaras all over the cities using facial recognition

14. LAB SCENE WITH KRUEGER: Krueger still doing the terrible things his father did only much worse.

Purpose: Shows to what lengths he will go to kill her, and we also learn that killing her are quite personal for him.

15. PUZZLE AND FIGHT: Solve the next puzzle while running and evading

Purpose: Show their determination to keep at it. Also shows her ability to see the world differently than other people. (Brianiac)

16. AMBUSH: One of the operatives are influenced by the global assassination program and try to assassinate Nina. He fails only because after a massive and relentless fighting between him and the remaining operatives. They try to subdue him, but he keeps hunting them down. Dodging their heels. Now they are hunted by their own and he knows their tactics and plans.

Purpose: It shows how powerful the program is and raises the stakes at them surviving.

17. DISCOVERY OF CODE:

Purpose: Provides relief after the death of their operative that it was not for nothing. Success.

18. THE CODE CAN ONLY BE ENTERED IN THE MAINFRAME IN THE LAB:

She must enter Krueger lab to enter the kill code. It is where she is vulnerable as this was where she was experimented on and lost her parents. It is part of her dark past. She fears Krueger.

Purpose: She must confront her past, as well as save the world.

19. SHE FALLS APART BEING TORMENTED WITH HER PAST AND ARE CAPTURED:

Purpose: Final pieces of what happened to her in the past as well as how vengeful Krueger are.

20. TORTURE:
Purpose: Shows his final plans as well as all his contempt for her.

21. SHE ESCAPE AND ENTER THE CODE: She find a way to enter the computer mainframe room and enter the kill code. This leads not only to the destruction of the global assassination program, but she also has the opportunity to destroy some of the programs running in the lab that starts the whole facility to overheat and break down.

Purpose: Save the world hope for saving herself. Take revenge on Krueger and his father.

22. KRUEGER GOES BALLISTIC: After she enters the kill code and cause damage to the mainframe of the facility, Krueger truly goes ballistic and hunt her down. He captures her again and this time he is mean as hell.

Purpose: He is going to kill her; he will still win even if it only is by killing her.

23. KRUEGER SHOWS HER A LAB ROOM WITH A YOUNG WOMAN/GIRL INSIDE BEING EXPERIMENTED ON: He show her that she is not special, he recreated her but even better and this time there were no parents that could shield the girl and protect her. This time he broke her and made her a living machine and weapon bound to his will.

Purpose: It pushes her over all her fears and give her the final strength to kill Krueger and end this part of her life. She tries to rescue the girl but after seeing her kill Krueger the girl wants to kill her. In the end the facility is coming down on them and she must flee without the girl, leaving her at Krueger’s body.

24. THE FACILITY COME CRASHING DOWN IN EXPLOSIONS:

The destruction of the facility. Nothing is left standing, and no one is left alive. She makes it out severely wounded and looks back at the same point where she stood when she escaped.

Purpose: She came full circle in her journey. Can she now find peace?

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Villain Track!

“What I learned doing this assignment is that I need to flesh out and learn about my characters. They are capable of so much more, but they need to develop and grow. This track will keep on evolving as my villain grows.

Version 2

Shows
the diabolical nature of the Villain.
Takes
the hero beyond their own limits.
Requires
the Hero’s unique set of talents.
Demands
a series of action sequences.
Creates
an unsurvivable gauntlet that engages the audience.

A. What might be the Villain’s plan to accomplish an evil outcome or to annihilate the hero? The plan could be pre-existing or created on the spot.

The
Villain’s plan is in place before the Hero knows it.

B. How many ways can the Villain attack or destroy the hero?

Unlimited
money and resources.
Unlimited
bad guys to fulfil the hitman contract.
Global
assassination program that are already working – he can give assassination
orders to ordinary people through subliminal waves through the
internet. This makes every person a
weapon.
Hunt
her down.
Attack
with her with the operatives protecting her.
Capture
Mind
games and torture
Every
time she uses the internet, she opens the window to use the global assassination
program (she needs the internet to unlock the puzzles in her brain)

C. What advantage does the Villain have and how can they exploit that in this movie?

He
knows her very well as he was the only other kid in the underground lab
where she and her parents were held captive.
He
was part of her trauma back then by bullying her to win his father’s
approval.
He
would watch with his father as she and her parents were manipulated and
tortured to do his father’s diabolical work.
He
knows her parents created the global assassination program and gave up
their lives so that she could escape and stop the program.
He
hates her guts for escaping and he knows how intelligent she is and that
the kill code to his program is with her…
He
knows all her weaknesses as well as all her trauma and he intend to use it
in every way he can.
He has
an elaborate plan to take her out before she can shut down the program.
He
knows that she was the one to lead the government to capture his father
and provide the evidence needed to lock him in prison for life.
He
also keeps her responsible for the death of his father in prison. (His
father’s death pushed him over his last bit of sanity and as revenge on
the world he wants to fulfil his fathers wish to use the global assassination
program to reshape the world economy, politics and power. Their family will be reborn.

D. What would be a “fitting end” for this Villain where they pay for what they’ve done?

In
the end she must face him in the facility where she was held capture with
her parents.
There
she would fight all the trauma and demons from her past and kill the maniac
son and destroy all that is left of him in the world.
He
will die just as his father did without leaving a family power dynasty to
rule the world. He will die knowing
he failed.
Death????

Villain: Millionaire Maniac using a global assassination program to take over the economy, politics and power in the world.

Hero: Brianiac woman with the kill code to the program locked in her head.

1. Global domination: Using the assassination program to kill several important politicians and businessman by ordinary people that either commit suicide afterword’s or have no recollection of what happened. He is starting to move the pieces on the board for him to take ultimate control in the world.

2. Plan: He knows that she can stop the program and she are one of the first people that he needs to assassinate.

He uses the people at her work to attack her all at once….

3. Mistake: Under the impression that she is dead he continuous his plan for power.

4. Dilemma: When his program pics up her movement on the internet he is furious and start to hunt her down because now she knows she is a target and are on the run.

5. Decision: Hunt her down with all means possible. He knows that she needs to use the internet and he target her through it.

6. Hunt: The hunt is relentless all over the world. He uses every means possible to him. Money, influence, criminals, internet and ordinary people.

7. Ambush: He use one of the operatives that protect her to attack and kill her. Someone she trusted.

8. Panic: When realising that she is still alive and in possession of the kill code he uses the killing of civilians through the program to give herself up – only then will the killing stop.

9. Capture: After she give herself up, he is triumphant and with her captured shows his program and plans to her. He tortures and abuse her.

10. Retaliation: After she enter the code and kill the program, he completely loses the plot and show her a young girl being held in captivity. She can see through the glass how they manipulate and torture her. The same that happened to her is happening again.

11. Fitting ending: She overcome all her fears and kill him telling him while he is dying that he is the failure his father always knew. That all his power and money will die with him… she burns the lab to the ground with everything in.

.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina’s Hero’s Mission Track

What I learned doing this assignment is… tracking the story this way shows me all the gaps, opportunities and places where I can elevate my story… It shows me there is still a lot of gaps and as I know it is an open process it gives me the reassuring that it is a work in progress… anything can still happen.

1. Ask the Mission Track questions to discover your Hero’s mission.

A.
What is it about this Hero that will have them go straight into the face
of the overwhelming odds?

Revenge for her parents, fear to be captured again, need to save the world from the man she hates the most, don’t want the world to be exposed to the same madness she grew up with.

B.
What is the mission that would be an impossible goal?

To unlock the kill code in her head while being hunted by a maniac and confronted with her past.

C.
What strong internal and external motivation could drive the hero?

Internal – Revenge

External – Save the world

D.
Imagine that mission playing out across a story. What could naturally happen
if this hero went on this mission against this villain?

2. Use the Mission Steps to outline the mission.

Clear Mission: To unlock the code locked in her brain and destroy the mad maniac hunting her.

1. MOTIVATION FOR THE MISSION:

She (brainiac) and her parents (scientists) were held captive for years by this maniac’s father. They died to give her a chance to escape and deliver the evidence so that the father can be put away in prison. After years in captivity, she loves the freedom of her new world only now it is threatened by the son of the man that held her captive all those years ago – now he uses the world she loves to hunt her down.

2. INCITING INCIDENT:

The son (now millionaire maniac) knows she have the code in her head that can destroy the global assassination program that his father developed. He also wants to avenge his father’s imprisonment and death. He uses all his money, contacts and the global assassination program to hunt her down.

3. FIRST ACTION:

When the girl starts to fear for her life the first clue to the puzzle unlocks in her brain. She needs to find the operatives that kept her save after she escaped to watch her back while she unlocks the puzzle in her head.

Girl’s mission: Find the operatives that protected her. Unlock the puzzles in her head. Destroy the global assassination program with the code in her head.

4. ESCALATION:

Maniac uses everyday people to hunt her down as well as all his contacts and money. She needs the internet to unwrap the layers of puzzles but every time she uses it, his opportunities to kill her become better and better.

New Mission: Follow the breadcrumb trail over the world to unlock the code, stay alive, get the code.

5. OVERWHELMING ODDS:

Maniac influences one of the operatives sworn to protect her to kill her. When he almost succeeds and his team must kill him, they understand the futility of what they are trying to do. Can she trust them can she trust her own abilities? Fight and run, fight and run.

6. TWIST:

The code does not work. All was in vain. Enemies are closing in fast.

7. APPARENT DEFEAT:

She realizes she must go to the facility where she was imprisoned with her parents. All operatives are either dead or gravely wounded. She must do this alone… but she panics when entering the facility and are captured.

8. APPARENT SUCCESS:

She finds a way to clear her mind as she hears the voices of her parents urging her on. She enters the kill code and destroy the program.

9. TWIST:

Out of his mind with rage after the program was destroyed the maniac start to torture and toy with her, now she must face the maniac in the lab where she was tortured and kept as a kid. She breaks down unable to think, giving up the will to live and fight back. She just wants it to end.

10. FULL OUT ATTACK:

Through a glass panel she sees a girl being used in the same manner as she was as a kid. This fills her with rage, she confronts her fears, her past and uses that anger to unleash hell on the lab. Killing the maniac, burning everything to the ground but saving the girl.

11. SUCCESS:

Injured beyond recognition she hands the girl over to the last heavily injured operative before she (dies/ loses consciousness)

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Subject line: Tarina’s Hero and Villain

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

I will have to keep the action conventions close by and always apply it to every part of the world, character, scene etc. for this to be an action movie. The action conventions stay part of the process up and until the last rewrite are done. The action conventions are your “playbook”

Concept: To stop assassination on a global scale, a brainiac girl must solve several puzzles to unlock the key code locked in her brain which will destroy it. Can she stay alive and ahead of the maniac hunting her?

Hero Morally Right: The girl must unlock the kill code to stop global assassination and save the world as it functions today.

Villain Morally Wrong: Millionaire maniac hunts her down to destroy the kill code as well as avenge his father’s imprisonment and death as she provided the evidence that led to his capture.

Hero: Young woman with amazing brain ability: turned state witness

A.
Unique Skill Set: Exceptional brain abilities, photogenic memory with
exceptional general knowledge, strategist.
B. Motivation:
Save the world and kill the man whose father kept her and her parents in
captivity, resulting in their death.
C.
Wound: She are not comfortable in the ordinary world as she was raised in captivity,
and she have trust issues.

Villain: Hans Gruber: Millionaire maniac

A.
Unbeatable: Has a team of mercenaries, criminals, gangs, and the control over
the entire world population with the push of a button. Also, he has unlimited
resources and finances.
B.
Plan/Goal: Knows her background and capabilities as he was the only other
child in the underground facility where she was forced to grow up. He also
understands.
C.
What they lose if Hero survives: World power and domination.

Impossible Mission: She must unravel the layers of puzzles in her head to get the kill code to destroy the assassination program. She must do this while being hunted by every bad guy on the planet.

A.
Puts Hero in Action: She must find someone that she can trust and with the
skills to keep her alive so that she can focus on solving the riddles, one
puzzle at a time. Problem is the assassinations are already creating havoc
in the world, which makes her mission so much more difficult.
B.
Demands They Go Beyond Their Best: She must stay alive to save the world
and avenge her parents and the clock keeps ticking.
C.
Destroy the Villain: First by finding help, solving the puzzles under extreme
circumstances of fighting and ambushes, going back to the place of her
childhood captivity, entering the kill code, and killing the maniac
hunting her.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

What a first day journey. I started this homework with one idea, brainstormed the hell out of it and ended up with something completely else to use in this course and I believe I can elevate it much more as the idea is practically brand new in my head.

So I started with idea one:

Coming out of a coma a troubled cop realizes that he has to fake a brain injury to protect his paralyzed body and the evidence of the corrupt cops that left him for dead. His physio catches on that he is faking it. She has to decide whether to help him and therefore signing her death warrant or to expose him and sign his death warrant.

So in the end I realized that this will be more a drama with action scenes than an pure action movie….

But the brainstorm process led to the following – idea two (which is still very rough and needs some more work…

To prevent assassination on a global a brainiac girl must solve several puzzles in order to unlock the key code locked in her brain which will prevent it, but she have to stay alive and ahead of the maniac hunting her.

Highly skilled hero – A girl with brain capabilities that can only be described as inhumanly intelligent.

Demand for action – A group of ops specialists must find her before the multi-millionaire psychopath hunting her kills her.

Mission – She have to unravel the code in her head while being hunted in order to prevent subluminal mind control assassinations all over the world.

Antagonist – The son of the man who contributed in creating the key in her head, will throw all his money into finding her. No price is to high and no law unbreakable… he tortures for breakfast and will stop at nothing to find her and kill her at his leisure.

Escalating action – A troubled past of scientist parents held hostage for years by the antagonists father. She was born during this time.

She have to delve through layers of puzzles in order to peel back layer of layer to find the code, all the while she have to stay alive and one step in front of her hunter who have millions and minions by the millions to hunt her down.

He already started to use the program that bring assassination in a global scale into the world with disastrous consequences, she have the kill code for his program locked in her brain.

He also blames her for his father’s imprisonment and death.

Can she trust anyone in this world, who are not controlled by him…

As I said a lot of work still to be done…. but it was much easier with all the brainstorming ideas and the consent I gave myself to not do it perfect or control it in any way… to make mistakes and to know that this idea is still in it’s infancy shoes…

Loved the process.

Tx Hal

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Hi to everyone on the group.

My name is Tarina Swanepoel and I live in South Africa.

I have written two scripts and want to expand my writing drama from drama to action and to use the tools and skills that I learn in this class to write great action scripts and elevate my writing to more than one new level.

Something unique – I have been a nursing sister for 17 years. I am teaching for the past 8 years for the local high school and had to relearn, writing, reading etc. after being diagnosed with Covid Encephalitis in April this year. So being able to create again is a huge win for me.

Looking forward to working with all of you.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Tarina Swanepoel

I agree to the terms of this release form.

As a member of this group, I agree to the following:

1. That I will keep the processes, strategies, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class confidential, and that I will NOT share any of this program either privately, with a group, posting online, writing articles, through video or computer programming, or in any other way that would make those processes, teleconferences, communications, lessons, and models of the class available to anyone who is not a member of this class.

2. That each writer’s work here is copyrighted and that writer is the sole owner of that work. That includes this program which is copyrighted by Hal Croasmun. I acknowledge that submission of an idea to this group constitutes a claim of and the recognition of ownership of that idea.

I will keep the other writer’s ideas and writing confidential and will not share this information with anyone without the express written permission of the writer/owner. I will not market or even discuss this information with anyone outside this group.

3. I also understand that many stories and ideas are similar and/or have common themes and from time to time, two or more people can independently and simultaneously generate the same concept or movie idea.

4. If I have an idea that is the same as or very similar to another group member’s idea, I’ll immediately contact Hal and present proof that I had this idea prior to the beginning of the class. If Hal deems them to be the same idea or close enough to cause harm to either party, he’ll request both parties to present another concept for the class.

5. If you don’t present proof to Hal that you have the same idea as another person, you agree that all ideas presented to this group are the sole ownership of the person who presented them and you will not write or market another group member’s ideas.

6. Finally, I agree not to bring suit against anyone in this group for any reason, unless they use a substantial portion of my copyrighted work in a manner that is public and/or that prevents me from marketing my script by shopping it to production companies, agents, managers, actors, networks, studios or any other entertainment industry organizations or people.

[Tarina Swanepoel]

Hi Cameron I would be happy to exchange feedback with you.